Today’s wrestler stayed active for a ridiculous amount of time and completely changed his character over time: George Steele.

Steele started wrestling in 1962 in the Detroit area before heading to New York. He became a big deal in the WWWF to the point that he had a LONG feud with Bruno Sammartino over the World Title. Here’s one of those matches from July 25, 1970 in MSG.

Bruno Sammartino vs. George Steele

Gorilla Monsoon, the host of the tape this is from, says this is from sometime in the 60s but isn’t sure exactly when. That would likely be because it’s from the 1970s but he’s close enough. Back then Steele was a top heel so this would have been a big time fight. The cage is weird looking as it’s more or less wire walls rather than a traditional cage. Steele has riot gear police officers bring him out. This is still escape rules. Naturally the commentary is from the 80s rather than back in the day as there likely wasn’t commentary done for this originally.

This is clipped to an extent. Bruno hammers him as this is probably the culmination of what was a major feud. Steele looks identical to what he would for the rest of his career. Steele actually gets a low blow before eating a turnbuckle. He rubs the stuffing into Bruno’s eyes which blinds him but George won’t just leave. Apparently Styrofoam stuffing is blinding. This is in Philadelphia according to Monsoon.

Bruno gets rocked by Steele for a good while as the camera and lighting is really different here but of course at the time no one knew what to do from a production standpoint as this was a very new idea back then. Bruno Hulks Up as Steele pounds away and then runs as Bruno can’t be hurt. Sammartino destroys him by ramming him into the cage a bunch and then climbs out.

Rating: C-. Nothing great here but seeing something from this far back in time is always cool. Steele didn’t change a bit in about twenty years and was still completely awesome the whole time. This was a pretty ok match but the clipping didn’t help. Bruno was completely awesome in cages and this worked ok but at six minutes shown, how into a cage match can you get?

Steele would continue getting title shots for years, including this one against Pedro Morales on June 30, 1973.

Pedro Morales vs. George Steele

This was back when Steele was still able to speak like a human. He looks almost exactly the same as he did in the 80s and 90s. Steele tries to jump Pedro to start but gets thrown into the corner and out to the floor by the champion. Back in and Steele gets in a shot to the ribs with a foreign object to put Morales in deep trouble. Another shot with the object has Pedro reeling. There’s a slam and a third shot, this one to the throat, has Pedro writhing in pain on the mat.

Morales comes back with some lefts as Steele tries to hide the object. They circle each other for a bit until the champion puts him down with an armdrag. Steele tries to hide in the corner but with a chest like that (covered with hair) it’s kind of hard to hide. The challenger goes to the floor for a bit before coming back in and knocking Pedro out to the apron. Morales is rammed into the turnbuckle and falls to the apron.

As Steele tries to ram Pedro’s head in, the champion slips in a left hand and sends Steele into two turnbuckles. I’m not skipping stuff in between here either. The action really is that slow. Now it’s George on the apron with Morales pounding away at his bald head. The champion takes a big bite out of Steel’s forehead before pounding away at it even more. The beating is so bad that the referee stops the match, awarding the win to Pedro due to the blood on Steele’s forehead.

Rating: D. This was a pretty lame match with not a lot of action in it at all. Steele was a game challenger but the foreign object bit comes off as dated now. The blood flow wasn’t even all that strong and it made for a weak ending for the match. On the good side though, Pedro got a great reaction from the crowd and it was clear that he was a strong champion.

We’re going to jump WAY ahead here as Steele would only appear on occasion. Actually we’re going to jump all the way to August 10, 1984 as Steele has become his trademark wildman persona and is again challenge for the title, this time against Hulk Hogan.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. George Steele

Steele has Fuji in his corner and Hogan is in the rare blue trunks tonight. Steele flails around the ring to start but Hogan does the same thing, sending the Animal to the floor. That’s fine with the champion who follows him out and goes to work but let’s stop to look at the fans for some reason. Inside again and Steele backpedals as the match stops cold. Steele finally goes to the eyes to take over before raking at the face some more.

Hogan comes back with some biting of the face but Steele hits him in the throat with a foreign object. Another shot with the object has Hogan in big trouble and Steele stomps away at the arm. We hit an armbar (to set up Steele’s flying hammerlock finisher) on Hogan but Steele lets go for consultation with Fuji. It’s Hulk Up time and Steele’s shots have no effect. A big back elbow puts George down but Fuji breaks up the legdrop attempt. Hogan goes after Fuji and gets salt thrown in his face, sending him to the floor for a countout.

Rating: C-. This was your standard match to set up a rematch while keeping Hogan looking strong. That’s fine all around though as it was still early in Hogan’s reign and he needed to get some big wins when it was in doubt to keep things interesting. The fans went nuts on Steele for his cheating and that’s the exact idea.

And then there was a rematch with some seconds added. Let’s get this over with. From 16 days later.

Hulk Hogan/Gene Okerlund vs. Mr. Fuji/George Steele

August of 84 in Minneapolis. This is when Fuji still wrestled on occasion so he’s not horrible. It’s all Hogan for the most part of course and by that I mean he wrestles most of the match. Gene in trunks and no shirt is something I NEVER need to see again. Clipped to Steele cheating and taking over on Hogan. Hogan sends him to the floor and struts a bit. Gene high fives Hulk and that counts as a tag. Gene, ever the idiot, tries his luck with Gene….and then dives through George’s legs for the tag. That’s better.

Clipped again to Hulk pounding on Fuji. Fuji tries to throw some salt but Hogan messes that up. Gene puts a knee into Fuji (or something like that) and then Hogan slams Gene onto Fuji for the pin. Yeah I think we all knew that was the ending that was coming here. Gene gets to kick both guys post match.

Rating: D+. Ok yes it’s bad, but at the same time what were you expecting here? I mean, you have to keep in mind what you’re watching when you look at something like this. It’s not going to be a masterpiece and yes it’s very bad, but you have to give it a big bit of slack as there’s a manager and an interviewer out there.

Steele would drop down to the midcard soon after this, including appearing in the first match ever on Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff/George Steele vs. Mike Rotunda/Barry Windham/Ricky Steamboat

That’s quite the face tag team. This was on the SNME DVD (great DVD that should certainly be picked up if you can find it. Awesome stuff on it) as an extra. Blassie is with the heels and Albano is with the faces. The two foreigners had taken the tag titles from the US Express at Wrestlemania for a token tag title change.

About a year prior to this, the US Express had been using Real American for their theme music. That went to Hogan of course and here they use Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen which works like a charm for them as it’s perfect. We start with Windham and Steele which is an odd matchup if there ever has been one.

Sheik was hitting the end of whatever usefulness that he had at this point. Rotundo would soon head to WCW and become a member of the Varsity Club, ending in an awesome moment with Rick Steiner taking the TV Title from him after months of being talked down to by him. Wow what a tangent that was.

Oh and he’s more commonly known as I.R.S. Oddly enough the faces dominate early on. We go to commercial with the faces dominating. We begin the awesome SNME tradition of not having action during commercials so we don’t have to be all confused about how we got to a point during a break.

Wow there are four hall of fame wrestlers in here and two on the floor. That’s rather impressive, especially considering that the two that aren’t in there are two of the three most talented. Steele comes in and his teammates abandon him, allowing Windham to get a quick rollup for the pin. Steele eats a turnbuckle and the tag champions beat him up. That doesn’t last long as Albano comes in to calm him down and Steele is a face.

Rating: C-. Eh this was fine. It wasn’t meant to be anything special other than a way to get Steele out of the dark side, but the heel offense consisted of about four Volkoff punches and other than that it was a complete squash. I don’t get why it was so one sided, but it did its job and wasn’t bad at all so for the first match in show history this was perfectly fine.

Steele would turn face after the match and stay that way for the rest of his career. He would soon start a LONG against with Randy Savage with the first major match taking place at SNME #4.

Randy Savage vs. George Steele

This is about a month and a half before Savage won the IC Title and held it for over a year, losing it to Steamboat at Mania 3 when Steele helped him win it. You could argue that this is the first match in a year and 3 month long feud. We get some chasing outside on the floor and then he eats a turnbuckle. A double axehandle…gets the pin. Ok then.

Rating: N/A. Total comedy match and a bad one. This got them nearly a year and a half. WOW.

There was a rematch for Savage’s Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania II.

Intercontinental Title: George Steele vs. Randy Savage

This was a pretty big feud that also wound up meaning a lot more the next year than it does here. The basic idea is that George is in love with Liz and doesn’t like how Savage treats her. There’s a great angle right there that hasn’t been used in a LONG time (Punk/AJ/Bryan isn’t the same thing). Savage in an inset interview babbles as only Savage can without saying anything of note.

Steele does a freaky kind of dance and Savage immediately bails to the floor. That works so well that they do it again and make it three times until FINALLY George chases after him. Steele catches Savage going back in and bites his calf before they head back in. Randy hits a running knee to the chest but Steele easily lifts him into the air and chokes him down. George gets caught looking at Liz though and is tied up in the ropes so Savage pounds away.

A top rope cross body gets two for the champ (Savage in case you’re really young) and Steele throws him to the floor. Randy slips under the ring and sneaks up on George, only to get bitten on the arm. Savage goes to the floor and finds….a bouquet of flowers? George shoves them into Randy’s face before going to eat a turnbuckle (don’t ask).

The stuffing goes into Savage’s face but Steele AGAIN gets distracted by Liz, allowing Savage to hit the ax handle to the back. Back in and Savage hits the slam and elbow for two. Wait what? This is 1986 and the SAVAGE ELBOW only gets two? Steele grabs Savage by the face and sends him into the corner, only to get tripped up and pinned with the feet on the ropes to retain the title.

Rating: C-. This is one of those matches where your individual taste is going to vary a lot. On one hand, it’s a comedy match but not an incredibly funny one, while on the other hand it’s terrible from a wrestling perspective. On the other hand, you have three hands and should see a surgeon immediately. The point is this wasn’t much of a match and never would have made it onto a modern Mania card. Of course it wouldn’t; the Intercontinental Title doesn’t exist around Wrestlemania time. Also, of all the people in the WWF, GEORGE STEELE gets to kick out of the elbow? REALLY? This was fun for the goofiness if nothing else.

Steele would become Hulk’s buddy of the week for a tag team match on August 9, 1986.

George Steele/Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage/Adrian Adonis

This is going to be a comedy match I’d assume. Steele tries to bite Adrian after their entrance before we get going. He also rips his shirt off ala Hogan in a funny for some reason bit. Hogan eats a turnbuckle and everything is insane. We finally get down to a match with Steele vs. Savage in the ultra rare dark red boots and tights.

Savage runs to the floor and Hogan scares him right back in. Back to the floor again as you can see that Savage cut his teeth in Memphis. That’s pure old school Lawler/Jarrett stuff and it works very well. We shift off to Hogan vs. Adonis with the ring covered in the turnbuckle stuffing. Corner clothesline to Adonis and it all breaks down again. Adonis is kind of crotched on the railing outside but it kind of missed.

Back in and it’s Hogan with a big boot to Adonis but he makes a blind tag to bring in Savage. Hogan beats up Savage too because he can and it’s off to Steele. Steele is sent into the corner and Adrian hammers away on him. Off to Savage who does exactly the same. He tries a sleeper but Steele bites his arm instead. Off to Hogan and Adonis with Adonis hitting a suplex for two.

Another suplex hits for the same result. According to Hayes ONLY Hogan could kick out of that. Sweet goodness did they suck up to him way too much. Sleeper, Adonis’ finisher, goes on until Adonis just drops him and throws down Hogan. Middle rope splash eats knees and it’s off to Savage. Everything breaks down again and Savage accidently backdrops Adonis and the leg drop ends him.

Rating: C. Just a glorified comedy match for a house show main event. Not a thing wrong with that as the whole thing worked for its purpose. The fans loved it and we got some slightly funny spots out of it also. What more can you ask for from a match with Adrian Adonis and George Steele in it?

Back to Savage for a match at SNME #9, but this set up something bigger.

Intercontinental Title: George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Vince wanted Liz like no other. To be fair she does look great here. George again says he has a surprise and comes out with an action figure of himself. He gives it to Liz but Savage takes it and throws it down. Soon thereafter he’s flying through the air as Steele throws him all over the place. Savage comes back and sets for the elbow but some music hits and the roof gets blown off. RICKY FREAKING STEAMBOAT makes his return and stares down Savage. Macho loses his mind and no one can get Steamboat back. Steele gets the advantage as they finally get Ricky back to the locker room.

Steele kidnaps Liz and carries her away before he finally comes back. A buckle gets ripped open which was always a weird thing. Vince: “He’s only salivating on him.” It was a different time I guess. Steele bites his arm a bunch of times for some reason as Jesse asks why isn’t he being better fed. Savage gets hit by a foreign object but clocks Steele with the bell to retain. A post match beatdown is attempted but Steamboat comes down for the save.

Rating: D+. Match was a glorified comedy match but most of the encounters for these two were. The main thing here obviously is that it set up Savage vs. Steamboat in the legendary showdown at Mania III. Back in the day they built up shows from a far longer away time which made them feel more epic. That and Mania was the only PPV of the year so it really was the huge show to build up to.

We’ll go with one more SNME match so Steele can get a win. From SNME #13.

Danny Davis vs. George Steele

Davis was the referee that went heel and became a bad wrestler with an interesting gimmick. Steele is way over and Davis is way hated. This should be decent from a crowd perspective. The wrestling will suck though. Davis tries to sneak up on Steele and he does a SWEET jumping reverse drop toehold. That’s the best description I can give it but he did it without turning around. It was awesome. Let’s go with that.

That was what was great about Steele’s character: he was the original Eugene more or less. There was a freaking hilarious bit on Tuesday Night Titans once where he got electrocuted and started talking like a normal person for a few seconds and then another shock turned him back into his usual self.

It was better if you saw it I guess. Davis has a foreign object and it gives him the advantage. Steele gets the flying hammerlock (don’t ask) off a missed punch and Davis kicks the referee for the odd DQ. Why not just give Steele the submission? I don’t get that but for a four minute match to end an incident from six months ago I can’t blame them that much.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t supposed to be serious so I’ll go easy on it. You simply can’t grade every match the same and I try not to in cases like this, although that doesn’t always work. This was fine for what it was as Davis cheated to get the limited offense in that he could, but at the same time he got caught and everyone was happy in the end.

Steele would retire a littler over a year later due to his Crohn’s Disease but would come back for a few occasional appearances. One of those was at Heroes of Wrestling.

Greg Valentine vs. George Steele

Valentine says he’s the son of the legend Johnny Valentine. That’s an old school idea which was done with guys like Shane Douglas as Paul Orndorff’s nephew and Bruno Sammartino had a “cousin” as well. He says he’ll leave with Sherri tonight whether she likes it or not. Seriously, this is some very basic but great heel stuff tonight and it’s making things a lot better than they have any right to be.

Sherri comes out with Steele as she’s already standing by her man. George looks exactly like he did over 20 years before this, as does Valentine. That’s quite the testament to their training regimens. Valentine hits the floor and goes after Sherri like any good heel going after the weaker person. Randy keeps things simple by saying it’s stalking. Sounds like a reason for Steele to stand up and stop Valentine if you ask me. George eats a turnbuckle and you can practically see Sherri’s eyebrows go up.

Steele bites Greg’s arm which is probably a bit more nutritious. I can’t believe I’m saying this but Sherri isn’t looking bad here. Back inside and George tries to take his shirt off but Valentine jumps him with the shirt over his head, almost like a cheating hockey player. Now we get to the climax of the match as Sherri turns on Steele and helps Valentine, playing up on George’s stupidity as he won’t be able to see her and will think it’s one of Valentine’s friends.

Back up and with the shirt off, Valentine pulls out a foreign object to get in a cheap shot and keep his control. We’re hitting all of the 80s high spots here and the crowd is reacting to it exactly as they should be. Dutch has gotten up to try and talk some sense into Sherri which might be going a bit too far. Do your job Dutch. The talk doesn’t even work as Sherri gets in a chair shot to give Valentine the pin.

Rating: D+. Not as good of a match here but they hit everything the needed to hit. Steele was a great choice of a sympathetic face, much like Kane with Tori over in the WWF around this time. You wanted to see him succeed and they did a great job of having everyone else involved screw with him and set up a rematch later on.

Steele would also appear on Nitro on January 10, 2000 as a special legend to face Jeff Jarrett that night.

George Steele vs. Jeff Jarrett

This is a Bunkhouse match, meaning anything goes. Chris Benoit is guest referee to continue his feud with Jarrett. Steele brings out a dumpster full of weapons with him but Jeff sidesteps most of them. Animal finally connects with a trashcan shot to the head and a second one sends Jeff to the floor. While George eats a turnbuckle, the Old Age Outlaws (seriously) sneak up on Jarrett. They’re a bit late as Jeff blasts Steele with the guitar, only to walk into an Arn Anderson spinebuster. Steele is put on top for the easy pin.

George Steele was, shall we say, an interesting one. He was far better known for his character than his in ring work and there’s nothing wrong with that. Steele wrestled for a very long time and only retired because of his illness. No his matches weren’t all that great, but he scared me to death as a kid and that’s what a guy like him was supposed to do. Well at least when he was a heel. Still though, he was a likeable guy if you were old enough to not be terrified by him and that’s a valuable asset to have. Also the shock therapy segment his hilarious if you have time to look it up.

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Today’s wrestler was one of the first words I ever said: Bam Bam Bigelow.

 

Bigelow got started in 1985 and was quickly brought into the WWF. Here’s one of his earlier efforts, from September 12, 1987 on Superstars. The idea was that everyone wanted to manage Bigelow but he finally picked newcomer Oliver Humperdink. This sent all of the other managers into a rage and Volkoff is fighting on Slick’s behalf.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Nikolai jumps Bam Bam during his entrance but there’s almost no effect. They trade shoulder blocks with Bigelow easily getting the better of it. Some headbutts stagger the Russian but he bites Bigelow’s face to escape. A nice dropkick puts Volkoff on the floor and Bam Bam fires off some headbutts back inside. Nikolai heads outside again but Bigelow is right back on him in the ring. A flying headbutt to the face is enough to pin Nikolai and fire up the crowd.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing to see but to be fair it’s a Nikolai Volkoff match so there isn’t much that Bigelow can do. This was a good way to get Bigelow over as I believe it was his first televised match. He would be much better against a more talented opponent though and that would come soon.

Bigelow would be a big deal almost immediately and join Hulk Hogan in the main event of the first Survivor Series against Andre the Giant’s team.

Team Andre the Giant vs. Team Hulk Hogan

Andre the Giant, King Kong Bundy, One Man Gang, Butch Reed, Rick Rude
Hulk Hogan, Bam Bam Bigelow, Don Muraco, Ken Patera, Paul Orndorff

After Andre’s team comes out, we go to the back for a great late 80s Hogan insane promo. He talks about how hungry all of his team is and apparently he trusts Orndorff again. Muraco is subbing for an injured Billy Graham who would never wrestle again if I remember correctly. To say the place erupts for Hogan is an understatement. Muraco and Rude get things going here. Again there aren’t many feuds going on here other than Hogan vs. Andre. Rude and Orndorff are feuding but other than that I don’t think there were any established programs already.

Rude gets knocked into the corner and quintuple teamed before it’s off to Orndorff for the tag. Paul knocks him around a bit and here’s Hogan to blow the roof off the place again. He drops a bunch of elbows on Rude and here’s Bigelow with a splash for no cover. Bigelow gorilla presses Rude and here’s Patera who never got back to where he was before his jail stint.

Off to Reed who has about as much luck as Rude had earlier. Muraco comes in and dropkicks Reed down as does Orndorff. Paul beats on him for a bit and it’s a double clothesline from Hogan and Orndorff, leading to the big leg and a 5-4 lead for Hogan and company. Andre comes in while Hogan is celebrating, but Joey Marella (Gorilla’s adopted son) says a high five to Patera counted as a tag so the teasing of the crowd continues.

 

Andre, the Frenchman that he is, thinks Patera is beneath him and tags out to Bundy. Patera clotheslines Bundy down but King tags in Gang to beat on Orndorff. Paul is all like BRING IT ON and punches Gang in the head, only to charge into a knee in the corner to bring him right back down. Off to Rude who gets his own head taken off by a clothesline. It’s been ALL Hulk N Pals so far.

Rude pokes Muraco in the eye and it’s off to Gang, but OMG misses a splash in the corner. Patera gets in and pounds away on Gang even more with right hands and a knee in the corner. Gang goes to the eyes which of course makes Jesse happy. Patera tries to fight back but they clothesline each other and Gang falls on top of him for the pin, making it 4-4. Hogan comes in immediately to take over but quickly brings in Bam Bam for a double big boot.

Bigelow is probably the second most popular guy in the company at this point or third at worst behind only Hogan and Savage. They hit head to head and it’s a double tag to Rude and Orndorff. Paul goes nuts on him but as he loads up the piledriver, Bundy jumps him from behind, giving Rude a quick rollup pin. That would be it for Orndorff in the WWF, at least in major spots.

Bigelow comes in and suplexes Rude down before tagging out to Hogan for a high knee (!). A powerslam from Muraco to take Rude out and it’s Gang, Bundy and Andre vs. Bigelow, Hogan and Muraco. Muraco goes after Bundy’s leg which is pretty good strategy. Granted it doesn’t work but at least it was a good idea. Gang comes in and Muraco can’t slam him because he’s really fat. The splash eliminates Muraco and it’s 3-2.

Gang vs. Bigelow now with Bigelow trying a sunset flip, only to get crushed by the power of fat. Bundy clotheslines Bigelow inside out and Jesse says Hogan is going to run if Bigelow gets eliminated. Gorilla RUNS to Hogan’s defense and Jesse freaks. Gang and Bigelow collide and Hogan looks like he’s about to cry. Andre finally comes in and Bigelow looks TINY compared to him.

Bigelow slides between Andre’s legs and FINALLY it’s Hogan vs. Andre. Hogan pounds away and blocks a headbutt and Andre is in trouble. Hogan decks Bundy and Gang before elbowing Andre in the head. Bundy pulls Hogan to the floor and Hulk has to beat up both of the other monsters. He slams both guys, but he’s outside too long and Hogan is counted out. Hogan, the great sportsman that he is, gets back in anyway and is STUNNED, yes STUNNED I SAY about getting counted out. It takes the referees saying that if Hogan doesn’t leave, his whole team is disqualified.

So it’s Bigelow vs. Andre, Bundy and Gang. Bigelow starts with Bundy and clotheslines him down for two. A shoulder block puts Bundy down again and a headbutt gets two. A dropkick staggers Bundy and the King misses a splash. Bigelow hits his slingshot splash to eliminate Bundy and make it 2-1.

Gang comes in immediately and starts pounding away, hooking something like a front facelock. Bigelow gets rammed into Andre’s boot and Gang goes up. Oh this can’t end well. Gang misses a “splash” and Bigelow pins him to get us down to one on one. Let the pain begin. Andre pounds him down, avoids a charge, fires off a bunch of shoulders to the back, and a kind of single arm butterfly suplex gets the final pin for Andre.

Rating: B-. For a main event, this was perfectly fine. More than anything else, it continues Hogan vs. Andre. They had their first match about eight months ago and something like this needed to happen to extend the feud. That’s the reason for the amount of PPVs going up: you need another place to have major feuds. Andre has now won something in direct competition over Hogan and there’s a reason for a rematch. Maybe on February 5th live on NBC?

February 5 would indeed be a huge day as Andre stole the title and handed it to DiBiase. Since there wasn’t time to make a ruling, DiBiase was the unofficial champion for a few days, including this match in Boston on February 6, 1988.

Hulk Hogan/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Andre the Giant/Ted DiBiase

As a child of the 80s, seeing DiBiase with the WWF Title is still terrifying. The heels get the jump on Hogan and Bigelow but you know that’s not going to last. Hogan puts Andre onto the floor and Bigelow rams Ted into whatever he can find. Referee Danny Davis gets in Hogan’s face and Hulk actually listens, allowing Bigelow to beat DiBiase up even more to officially get things going.

It’s quickly off to Hogan and DiBiase begs off. Andre tries to come in but gets clotheslined as well with a second one putting him on the mat. Hogan pounds on DiBiase even more as Bigelow gets in some more shots. Andre pulls Hulk to the mat and chokes him from the floor, allowing Ted to stomp away and take over. The Giant comes in officially as the heels are in full control with Andre headbutting away. Choking with the strap ensues and it’s back to DiBiase for the fist drops.

We hit the chinlock on Hogan but he vibrates to his feet and scores a double clothesline to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in Bigelow to hammer away but Virgil trips him up from the floor. The champ (that still hurts to say) goes up but gets slammed down ala Flair and the real hot tag brings in Hogan. It doesn’t take long to clean house as a big boot and legdrop pin DiBiase in only a few moments.

Rating: C-. This was just a house show main event and there’s nothing wrong with that. The fans totally lost it when Hogan got in there to run DiBiase over and show that he’s the better man and coming after his title. It wasn’t supposed to be a great match and there’s nothing wrong with this going the way it did.

Bigelow would go down with a knee injury soon after this, putting him out for a few months. He would pop up in the NWA at Starrcade 1988, challenging Barry Windham for the US Title.

US Title: Barry Windham vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Bigelow is a four hundred pound bald monster covered in tattoos who wrestles like he’s about a hundred and fifty pounds lighter. Windham is a Horseman and defending here. Bigelow has Oliver Humperdink with him who was a lower level manager in the 80s while Barry has JJ Dillon who I’m sure you’ve heard of by now. Feeling out process to start with neither guy doing much in the early going. Barry takes it into the corner for some big right hands but Bigelow comes back with an airplane spin of all things.

The champion bails to the floor for a timeout before coming back in to suplex Bigelow down. Bam Bam pops back up and drills Windham in the face with a clothesline to send him outside again. Back in again and Bigelow runs Barry down one more time as Windham has no idea what to do here. A HUGE gorilla press puts Windham on the floor again as this has been one sided so far.

Bam Bam pounds away in the corner and Windham falls flat on his face. A dropkick sends Windham out to the floor as the fans are going nuts. Bigelow suplexes him down for two and it’s off to a chinlock. Barry fights up and finally gets in some shots to the ribs. Bigelow is knocked to the floor and lands on his knee to really slow him up. They head back in with Bam Bam knocking Barry down from the apron and hitting a slingshot splash. Bigelow lets him up for some reason before slamming Barry down, only to miss the top rope splash.

Windham lariats him down and is all fired up now. A belly to back suplex puts Bam Bam down in an impressive display of strength. Barry pounds down right hands in the corner and launches Bigelow out to the floor. Back in and there’s Windham’s claw hold for a bit until Bigelow staggers into the corner for the break. Bigelow is slammed down but Barry misses a top rope elbow. Bam Bam starts pounding away and charges into Barry, knocking both guys over the top and out to the floor. Barry rams him into the post and Bigelow can’t make it back in before the ten count.

Rating: B-. This was a big power brawl and it worked pretty well for the most part. The ending is lame but I guess the idea was to keep Bigelow looking strong. That’s rather odd given that Bigelow was pretty much gone from the company after this. Bam Bam looked good here though and we got a good match out of these two so this was a solid effort.

Bigelow would spend time in Japan as part of a tag team called Big Bad and Dangerous with Vader. The team was a success as they won the IWGP Tag Team Titles. They would face the Steiners on June 26, 1992 in what has the potential to be AMAZING. It’s also title for title as the Steiners’ WCW World Tag Team Titles are also on the line.

IWGP Tag Team Titles/WCW World Tag Team Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Big Bad and Dangerous

Bigelow starts with Scott as the fans are already way into this. A leg trip takes Bigelow down but he’s quickly in the ropes to stop Scott’s momentum. Another takedown goes just as well and some running clotheslines drop Bigelow to the mat. He avoids a dropkick though and drops a headbutt to a fallen Scott before taking him into the evil corner. Everything breaks down and the Steiners are sent to the floor, only to come back in with their double top rope shoulder block to send the monsters outside.

Things settle back down with Rick coming in to face Bam Bam, who is quickly dropped by a Steiner Line. Bigelow takes him into the corner though and Vader comes in for the first time, drawing a nice pop from the crowd. Vader just mauls Rick in the corner with right hands but Rick comes back with rights of his own followed by a HUGE Steiner Line to put Vader down. That’s fine with Vader as he throws Rick down with a belly to back and crushes him in the corner.

Vader charges into something like a backdrop before Rick muscles him over with a German suplex. A running clothesline sends Vader back to the floor but the fans are completely behind him. Scott comes in off the hot tag and he goes up…..only to fall down with no one touching him. Vader isn’t one to pass up a botch and gets two off a running splash. Back to Bigelow who hits some kind of jumping kick to the face. Off to the chinlock followed by a vertical suplex for two on Scott.

Back to Vader for that running clothesline as Scott is in big trouble. The powerbomb only gets two and Vader is STUNNED. He hooks a dragon sleeper of all things before shifting back to a regular chinlock. Another splash gets another two count and it’s Bam Bam coming in again for a series of headbutts. Scott tries a belly to belly but Bigelow falls on top of him for two instead. Vader comes in again but walks into the Frankensteiner out of nowhere to freak out the crowd.

Everything breaks down as Rich hammers away, only to dive into a hot shot from Bigelow. Vader has lost his mask but is able to take Rick’s head off with a pair of lariats. A powerbomb gets two on Rick and Bigelow’s running splash gets the same. The referee gets bumped as Bigelow hits another splash. Back up and Rick hits a great looking belly to belly out of nowhere for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B. Well that was awesome. This was exactly what it was supposed to be: the Steiners doing some insane throws and the monsters just destroying them all match until the end. The Steiners were basically untouchable at this point, which is why WCW screwed them up for the sake of the Miracle Violence Connection because clean wrestling and all that nonsense.

Bigelow would head back to the WWF soon after this and squash jobbers until the 1993 Royal Rumble.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Big Boss Man

Bigelow jumps Boss Man in the corner to start and Boss is in trouble early. He gets whipped into the corner and a Bigelow forearm knocks him to the outside. This is one of those “do one move then stand around for awhile” matches. Boss Man comes back with some clotheslines and some punches to the “face” in the corner. Another right hand and a bulldog puts Bigelow down but Boss Man’s charge is countered by a backdrop to the floor.

Off to a body vice by Bigelow which is a rather dull move as usual. A hot shot puts Boss Man down for two and some shots to his back keeps him down. We hit the body vice again but Boss Man comes back with a suplex. It hurts him more than Bigelow though, as Bam is up first. Boss Man starts his real comeback with a punch to the face and a running crotch attack to Bigelow’s back. Bigelow gets a boot up in the corner and clotheslines Boss Man down. The flying headbutt gets the pin.

Rating: D. This was pure filler and not even entertaining filler. Bigelow was on the rise at this point while Boss Man would be gone in less than two months. On top of that, the match was really dull with Bigelow laying around and working on Boss Man’s back most of the time, which doesn’t make for an interesting match at all.

Bigelow would enter the 1993 King of the Ring and make it all the way to the finals against an exhausted Bret Hart.

King of the Ring Finals: Bret Hart vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Bret more or less is being held together by duct tape at this point. They mention we might not have enough time to show the whole match, but since this isn’t WCW in 1998 that won’t happen. Apparently the winner “has to be” the #1 contender. Not really but whatever. Bigelow throws Bret over the ropes and Bret crashes onto the floor and Bret is dead. This might as well be named the Bret Hart Appreciation Match as it’s just the announcers talking about how injured he is and how he’s so brave.

Egads even I’m sick of it already and we’re 4 minutes into this. Oh but as courageous as he is, he’s destined to lose apparently. So Bigelow more or less gets away with murder here as Bret is just completely gone. They go to the floor and after a mini Bret comeback, the power is too much and he’s left on the floor for awhile. Luna comes out with a chair and I think hits him with it.

It was more like she was waving it at him to give him a breeze as she barely swung at all. Anyway, Bigelow comes out and gets him and the headbutt…gives Bigelow the win? Yeah, he actually got the pin on Bret who looked like road kill at this point. HOWEVER, since Bret put up such a tough try, another referee picks now to have his first time ever to come out and say that there was interference.

We’ll overlook the fact that Bret was dead and the headbutt was what beat him anyway for the sake of having a story. Since the referee, Earl Hebner in this case, like Bret so darn much, he sends him back into the match to get assaulted even more. So we restart the thing. Oh Fink messed up and said the decision was reversed but of course that was waved off. The announcers say the decision should be reversed and Bret should have just won anyway so there we are.

Bobby says Bret is going to need five new limbs. Thanks Bobby. Hart’s selling here is insanely awesome here. He actually hits a belly to back suplex which looked good all things considered. Oh look: Bret is getting beaten up even worse than before. He keeps surviving even longer though, eventually managing to throw Bigelow over the ropes.

Bret, despite having had his head kicked in all night, busts out a pescado as I’m impressed. He initiates the ending sequence but Bigelow powers out of the Sharpshooter. Bret hooks a victory roll though, an amazingly gets the pin as the place goes insane. That was a cool performance.

Rating: B+. This is all Hart here. I know there’s not a lot in the summary, but that was nearly a 20 minute match. Hart was selling like a salesman out there and made Bigelow look awesome. For some reason Bigelow never did anything of note other than feud with Doink soon after this which was always odd to me. Either way, the match here was intriguing to say the least as Bret sells his head off. Granted the restart was kind of stupid and I’m not sure why they did it but it was fine either way.

We’ll skip the next eighteen months or so as Bigelow had a horrible feud with Doink the Clown before joining up with the Million Dollar Team. At the 1995 Royal Rumble, Bigelow shoved pro football star Lawrence Taylor, which set up the main event of Wrestlemania XI.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Lawrence Taylor

R&B group Salt N Peppa sings What A Man live for Taylor’s entrance. Pat Patterson is guest referee to make sure things go as smoothly as possible. Taylor is a legit NFL superstar so this is an actual big deal as far as celebrities go. There are a TON of reporters and photographers at ringside plus the two teams so it looks like a lumberjack match. Before the bell, Taylor SMACKS Bigelow in the face and we’re ready to go. Oh and Diesel has been training with Taylor. Remember that.

A big forearm immediately puts Bigelow down and a clothesline puts him on the floor. The crowd is losing it over this stuff as Taylor looks GREAT. Back in and a bulldog (decent one too) gets two for Taylor. There’s a hip toss and Bigelow needs a breather. In two minutes, Taylor has already showed more skill and fire than McMichael showed in two and a half years in WCW. Lawrence follows him to the floor and a big brawl almost starts between the teams.

Back in and Bigelow gets in some shots to take over including a headbutt. A falling headbutt misses so Taylor fires off a big forearm to take Bigelow down. Bam Bam pounds him right back down and puts on a Boston crab which almost immediately shifts into a half crab. It breaks down even further into Bigelow just pulling on one leg. Now he just leans on it instead of cranking on it.

Taylor fights up again and hits a suplex of all things to give himself a breather. It’s a quick breather though as Bigelow pounds away even more. There’s Bigelow’s moonsault but he “hurts” his knee in the process. Lawrence kicks out at two (ZERO reaction for the crowd for some reason) and it’s time for a comeback. Bigelow ducks his head so Taylor tries something resembling a suplex that was supposed to be a Jackknife.

Bigelow misses an enziguri but Taylor falls down anyway. The top rope headbutt gets another two and the crowd reacts a bit. Taylor gets his last gasp of energy though and pounds Bigelow in the corner before hitting a pair of big forearms. A third from the middle rope is enough for the shocking upset.

Rating: B. All things considered, this was nothing short of a miracle. Keeping in mind that Taylor had zero experience coming in there, he looked amazing. They didn’t have most of the problems that most celebrity matches have as Taylor looked like he had actual talent instead of looking like he needed someone to walk him through everything. As a regular match this wasn’t much, but all things considered this was great.

After another stint in Japan it was off to ECW, where Bigelow fit in very well. He would win the World Title in the fall, setting up a showdown with former champion Shane Douglas at November to Remember 1997.

ECW Title: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Shane Douglas

Now, hopefully these guys have something better to offer. It certainly can’t be any worse. If it’s even wrestling, it’s better than that. I would say that previous thing is why I would say I’m ashamed to be a wrestling fan, but since that wasn’t wrestling I’m clear of any such issue. We can’t hear Joey again over the music. Remember that these two are teammates in the Triple Threat. Challenger comes out last so it’s fairly obvious that we’re getting a title change here.

Bless my soul we’re getting wrestling! I don’t like Douglas but I can go with this easily now. There’s a LOUD Cornette chant which I don’t know if I missed the reason for or not. This is actually pretty good. It’s not great or anything, but it’s holding my attention. Bigelow is controlling it here which surprises me. I guess it’s because it’s easier for him to do something with Shane than for Shane to do something with him. That makes sense at least.
Shane stays in there at least with some decent stuff here and there which always helps keep a match solid. Another reason this match is decent: there are relatively few weapons shots. I can’t get on them for using a few as just about every major company used weapons a bit in their main events. A bit of them are fine, but use them in moderation. There’s simply no need to have them all over the place and using them from the opening bell.

That’s just freaking pointless. Anyway, Bigelow is more or less dominating this whole thing. I love how the people in this company would just come and go but the main event guys for the most part stayed. I guess that’s why they were in the main event: they were the only ones that were always around.

Oddly enough these two would be gone before the company folded but whatever. Francine tries to use a crutch and that gets her nowhere but scared right back down to the floor where she was before. Ok then. Bigelow keeps wprking on the right arm, which just looks odd as all goodness. Like I’ve said, hardly anyone not named Benoit ever did that. Since Bigelow has dominated the whole match, I would bet my house on Shane winning with a quick move.

Heyman does that all the time and it’s really annoying as it’s very predictable. And holy goodness I’m right as Douglas hits a belly to belly suplex out of nowhere and we’re more or less even. Bigelow gets a chair and a table as the fans are all behind Shane. He’s the hometown guy so at least there’s a reason for Shane to get the title here. With Bigelow dominating again, Shane hits a quick belly to belly through the table for the title.

I mean one second Bigelow was dominating and the next he was getting pinned. That’s not exciting or sweet. That’s stupid. It makes the champion look weak because he can’t kick out of a simple suplex and it says that his offense sucks when after 25 minutes of pounding on Shane he is able to throw a 400lb man around. I get that it makes Shane strong, but it makes Bigelow looks way too weak and that’s just stupid. The Triple Threat celebrates to end it.

Rating: C-. This is a match that looks good on paper but sucks in reality. It was long and drawn out, but that doesn’t mean it was good. That’s a big problem a lot of fans have. They think that more time instantly means better match and that’s simply not the case. The psychology here was so off that Freud couldn’t solve it. There was no flow to it at all and the ending was just contrived stupidity.

More or less it was Bigelow beating on Shane to set up a big moment for the live crowd and that just doesn’t work. They tried to make it a big moment and it kind of was, but the title change a month and a half before was to do nothing but let Shane win it here, and that’s just stupid as all get out. Shane would hold the belt for over a year, losing it in January of 99, which is so stupid I don’t have the time or the patience to get into it here.

That wouldn’t be the end of Bigelow’s success in ECW as he would challenge the unstoppable Taz for the TV Title at Living Dangerously 1998.

TV Title: Taz vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Remember that Bigelow is the hometown boy. I love how they announce Bigelow’s weight and Joey says a different one during the match. That always amuses me for some reason. Bigelow hits a great powerbomb. He was always great at that move. Shame Diesel was using it in WWF so Bigelow couldn’t do it. This is a long brawl but there’s some wrestling in there to balance it out I guess.

They hit the crowd for awhile and actually Taz gets some solid cheers. And then Bigelow gets suplexed off the ramp and to the floor and both nearly die. Because that’s clearly the big ratings draw here right? We go back to the ring and Bigelow uses power stuff which Taz gets to suplex his way out of. See, THAT is how Taz looks good: when it’s Shane or some small guy that he’s throwing around it just gets repetitive.

The suplexes are leverage moves and now he’s getting to show what he can do with that leverage, making it seem far more important. The tables are brought in as we just have to have those because the wrestling here clearly isn’t good enough. We brawl on the floor AGAIN as I grow to hate Heyman even more. It’s ok to just wrestle in the ring guys. The fans are really restless here as they were popping like cherries for the wrestling stuff.

Case in point: Taz takes a sign to the head, fans are dead/booing. They trade punches, crowd cheers. See? It’s not hard to just have wrestling. Tazmission is locked in and Bigelow drops him through the ring. They climb out and Bigelow pulls Taz up for the easy pin. It looked cool and the fans all freaked out over it, but Bigelow couldn’t win with his shoulder piledriver to give us a standard ending? I hate that.

Rating: D+. The brawling was just too much here. This match wanted so badly to be good but the brawling and the tables and the over the top nature of it just killed the freaking thing. Paul just refused to accept the idea of two good wrestlers just getting out there and wrestling and that’s what wound up killing him off in the end. Sometimes the fans just want wrestling and while Paul tried to do that, he went too far most of the time and it killed things.

It would soon back to WCW where Bigelow wanted a piece of the undefeated Goldberg. That went badly for Bigelow so he settled for Wrath at Souled Out 1999.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Wrath

Oh this could be BAD. Bigelow is (kind of) fresh from ECW and few care. He was a huge deal there but here he’s a meal for Goldberg and nothing more. Wrath is more commonly known as Adam Bomb in WWF. I liked him there more than I should have I think. This is your standard power vs. power thing so while it’s ok, it’s not great. You can tell Heenan’s heart isn’t really in this that much. The problem with this whole show so far is simple: the wrestling is ok, but there is no point to it.

I mean it’s like why in the world should I care about anything I’m watching here? I have no idea why and for the most part I don’t care at all. It’s somewhat entertaining, but there’s nothing here I’m going to care about in a day or so. Wrath kicked the camera on a kickout. That’s kind of amusing. And both guys are down now. Wrath misses a charge and walks into Greetings From Asbury Park for the pin. Yeah that wasn’t interesting at all.

Rating: D+. Again, not bad but at the same time there was nothing here that I’m going to remember in a day or so. There’s just no emotion in the whole company and there is even less direction. Why are these two fighting? It’s never explained. Are either going to do anything off of this win or loss? Nope, because they’re not one of about 7 guys. No one ever had anything to gain in the company so guys like Benoit or Wrath or whoever had zero incentive to work hard. That’s not how you run a wrestling company.

Later in the year Bigelow would hook up with two other guys from New Jersey (Diamond Dallas Page and Kanyon) to form the Jersey Triad. They won the Tag Team Titles and defend them against Chris Benoit and Perry Saturn at Bash at the Beach 1999.

Tag Titles: Jersey Triad vs. Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn

This is the ONLY good thing about this entire show. Remember that the Freebird Rule is in effect but they can trade off who is in the match at any time, more or less making this a handicap match. The starters here are Bigelow and Page. As for the actual match it’s Page vs. Saturn. All three members of the Triad are on the apron even though Kanyon was announced as accompanying them.

Saturn cleans house to start us off, knocking everyone to the floor. Off to Benoit vs. Bigelow and Page is on the floor now. Bigelow hammers him down but Benoit gets a boot up in the corner. How often do you see a single clothesline drop Biegelow? The Triad hits the floor for a bit so now it’s Saturn vs. Kanyon. Kanyon was the betrayer that cost Raven and Saturn the tag titles a few weeks ago to get them on the Triad.

Saturn tries a German on Kanyon but Kanyon grabs the referee to block it. Off to Benoit now who runs over Kanyon. There’s that snap suplex and into a Liontamer. Benoit and Saturn clear the ring again and Saturn gets two on Kanyon. Benoit gets a backbreaker for two. Kanyon keeps getting beaten on as Saturn hits a top rope legdrop for two. Totally one sided so far.

Page comes back in without a tag and sends Saturn to the floor. Some heel shenanigans put Saturn down and we hit the floor for a bit. Silverman, the referee here, counts really slowly. Bigelow and Kanyon are beating on Saturn now as the fans are paying attention to something else. Bigelow hits a chinlock because the fans aren’t paying attention. That’s a veteran move there and proof of what experience can teach you.

Kanyon sits Saturn on the top rope and tries what looks like a Fameasser but crotches himself before he can hit it. Saturn hits a suplex off the top and it’s off to Benoit. He cleans house but the numbers catch up to him. Page goes insane for a bit, jumping up on the ropes to yell at the fans. He goes outside and keeps yelling, even climbing on the barrier. Weird.

DDP and Bigelow are the “legal” Triad members now. We’re told about how awesome Page is and how he’s held every title. The only other people I can think of that did that are Sting and Luger (if you count the NWA versions as title reigns which I do). Flair technically did but his TV Title reigns were in the 70s when the title was more of a regional one. Eh not that it matters but I love stuff like that.

Kanyon gets a sunset flip on Benoit for two. Bigelow beats on him for awhile as the crowd pops for something. Page gets his turn now as Benoit is getting destroyed. It’s to the point now where Saturn has to make saves. There’s the hot tag but the referee doesn’t see it. Page gets that WICKED helicopter bomb on Benoit for two. Love that move. Kanyon gets a middle rope legdrop for two.

Benoit suplexes Kanyon and Bigelow saves the tag again. Benoit is like screw it and suplexes Bigelow. The fans are distracted again as Bigelow counters a suplex into kind of a cross body. The moonsault that wouldn’t have hit even if Benoit hadn’t moved but he did move misses and there’s Saturn finally. Saturn cleans house with suplexes and kicks and Benoit is back in already.

Bigelow and Benoit are the only ones in the ring. Saturn goes up top as does Benoit. Splash by Saturn is followed by the Swan Dive but Page makes the save. Northern Lights gets two on Page. Kanyon has powder as the referee goes down. Powder to Saturn but Page messes up and hits the Cutter on Kanyon but he gets the foot on the rope. Crowd is WAY into this. The Canadian hits a German on an American for two. There’s a garbage can in the ring and the referee goes down again. Page cleans house with the can and Bigelow/Page hit a 3D on Saturn to retain.

Rating: B+. Like I said, this is the only reason to watch this show but it’s a pretty awesome tag match. The Triad would lose the titles after Flair either fired them or lost power next month. This was really fun though and it ate up over twenty minutes so it had more than enough time to develop. Very fun stuff here and it’s worth seeing.

We’ll wrap it up there as Bigelow would spend most of the rest of his time in WCW in the Hardcore division and then in the indies before retiring.

Bam Bam Bigelow was a guy that wrestled a style completely different from what you would expect from him. Almost no one could move like he could and he was consistently entertaining almost everywhere he went. He was the second most popular guy in the company in late 1987 and would have gotten a title run at any other point in history given his popularity. He’s another guy that died WAY too early as well, which unfortunately is a bad problem for people of his era.

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Today is Billy Kidman. He fought Hulk Hogan a few times.

 

Kidman started in 1994 so here’s a match from an NWA show in 1995.

Rik Ratchet vs. Billy Kidman

There’s some trash talk before the match but I can’t understand any of it because of the bad acoustics. Kidman appears to be the face here. Ratchet chops away in the corner to start but walks into a backdrop to send him outside. Back in and Kidman kicks him in the chest for two as this is one sided so far.

Ratchet does a Flair Flip in the corner and Kidman clotheslines him out of the air on the way down for two. A slingshot legdrop gets the same and Rik wants a handshake. That earns him a crotching on the top rope for two but Ratchet’s manager trips Kidman up. Kidman goes after him but gets hit with some kind of a stick, which I guess is a DQ as the match just stops.

Rating: D+. Yeah this wasn’t much to see but Kidman was a rookie so what can you expect? The match being a glorified squash is kind of surprising but at least it was short. Ratchet didn’t show me anything either and to the best of my knowledge he didn’t go anywhere after this.

Kidman would make his Nitro debut on June 10, 1996.

Steven Regal vs. Billy Kidman

Kidman is a total rookie here. I think this is his WCW debut. Regal kills him for a bit but Kidman gets some stuff in and busts out a 450 (kind of) which misses. Regal puts on the start of a Liontamer but steps on Kidman’s head instead for the tap in less than a minute.

Here’s a slightly more competitive match from Nitro on March 17, 1997.

Chris Benoit vs. Billy Kidman

This doesn’t even last a minute with the Crossface ending it. That hadn’t been his finisher long at all at this point.

Uh….maybe Nitro isn’t Kidman’s show. Let’s try Thunder from February 5, 1998.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Kidman

Juvy takes over with a quick headscissors but an attempt at a second is countered into a reverse sitout powerbomb. The fans yell at Lodi as Kidman stops Juvy’s speed with shots to the back. Kidman reverse supelxes Guerrera onto the apron but Juvy comes back with a springboard missile dropkick to put Kidman on the floor. A rana takes Kidman off the apron and back to the floor but Juvy might have hurt his knee in the process.

The knee is fine enough to try a springboard legdrop but Juvy only hits canvas. Kidman goes to the middle rope but gets caught by a Frankensteiner for two. A nothern light suplex gets the same for Guerrera and the Juvy Driver looks to set up the 450. Juvy has to dropkick Lodi down instead though and Kidman hits a quick bulldog and the Shooting Star for the pin.

Rating: B-. That’s probably high but given how fast paced this was in the short amount of time it’s impossible to not be impressed. Kidman was great in the ring when he had someone who could go move for move with him and Juvy certainly fits that bill. For five minutes this was some high level stuff.

That worked so let’s try another Thunder from April 9, 1998.

Kidman vs. Psychosis

This should be good. Kidman takes over with some forearms to the back to start but Psychosis slams the back of Kidman’s head into the mat for two. Psychosis sends him to the floor and hits a big dive over the top rope which almost missed badly. Back in and Kidman hits the sitout spinebuster but stops to scratch. A sunset flip gets two for Psychosis but Kidman comes back with a bulldog while climbing the corner.

Kidman loads up a superplex and here’s Chris Jericho of all people. Psychosis shoves Kidman off and hits a spinwheel kick but there’s no referee. A victory roll still gets no count for Psychosis as Jericho still has the referee. Psychosis loads up the guillotine legdrop but here’s La Parka with a weak chair shot to knock him to the mat. Kidman hits the Seven Year Itch for the pin.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and it could give Russo a run for his money with the overbooking, but Psychosis continues to look good. It’s nice to see him get a story, even one as minor as the Flock fighting for Lodi’s honor. Nice little match here but the fans didn’t care.

Now I think we can try another Nitro, like this one from September 14, 1998.

Cruiserweight Title: Kidman vs. Juventud Guerrera

Juvy is defending. The fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here as things start fast. Some chops take Kidman down and Juvy rains down right hands in the corner to take over early. A missile dropkick sends Kidman to the floor as the fans are way into this. Kidman comes back in with a slingshot headscissors followed by a powerslam for two. We hit the chinlock on the champion but he fights up and gets a headscissors of his own.

A cross body from Juvy sends both guys to the floor and we take a break. Back with Guerrera getting two off a rollup but getting crushed by a slingshot legdrop. We go back to the chinlock for a bit before a lifting powerbomb (Sky High) takes Guerrer down for two. A wheelbarrow suplex gets the same but Juvy counters a belly to back suplex into a German suplex for two.

Guerrera goes up for a not great looking hurricanrana for another near fall before the Juvy Driver is countered into a reverse suplex from Kidman. The Shooting Star is countered with another hurricanrana but Juvy dives into another powerbomb. Kidman hits the Shooting Star for the pin, the title, and a BIG pop from the crowd.

Rating: B+. Excellent match here with both guys just going nuts for about fifteen minutes and one upping each other all match long. Kidman was one of the few guys that could hang with Guerrera in a high flying match and he more than did that here. The fans were going nuts here and the match was as good as anything we’ve seen on Nitro in months.

Here’s a title defense from Halloween Havoc 1998.

Cruiserweight Title: Kidman vs. Disco Inferno

Disco is challenging and is quickly dropkicked down to the corner. A drop toehold sets up an armbar from the champion before he just stomps a mudhole on Disco. Kidman gets a bit too cocky though and gets sent throat first into the ropes, followed by a neckbreaker for two. Disco tosses him outside but Kidman climbs up the steps for a bulldog down to the floor. Back in and the champion misses a top rope splash to give Inferno a two count.

We hit the chinlock on Kidman but he quickly gets up and hits a hard clothesline. Disco avoids a charge in the corner and stomps Kidman down before talking a lot of trash. A middle rope elbow misses after Disco wastes too much time dancing. He’s able to avoid a dropkick though and hit the jumping piledriver for a delayed two count. Kidman reveres a suplex but can’t hit his bulldog out of the corner. Instead it’s Disco getting two off a gordbuster but taking too much time trying the Macarena Driver. Kidman counters with a faceplant and the Shooting Star retains the title.

Rating: B-. Not as good as the Guerrera match but it still worked quite well. Kidman was awesome at this point and could have a good match with anyone (except Scott Hall of course) as the division is really getting awesome again. Thankfully the LWO wasn’t a part of this as it just isn’t catching my interest so far.

Kidman would start feuding with the LWO, leading to a triple threat against Juventud Guerrera and Rey Mysterio Jr. at Starrcade 1998. I’ll include a bonus with this match.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Juventud Guerrera vs. Billy Kidman

Billy, the champion coming in, is a guy who used to be a very generic cruiserweight and then started wrestling in jeans and an undershirt which somehow made him much better in the ring. Juventud is one of the best high fliers ever and has lost his mask recently, because why would WCW want a piece of merchandise like that to sell for $25? Both challengers are members of Eddie Guerrero’s Latino World Order which was a pointless story given to him by Bischoff to keep Eddie from quitting.

Kidman and Rey are friends so they double team Juvy to start with Kidman sending Juvy into Rey for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Juvy is hit with a pair of dropkicks in the corner and there’s a Bronco Buster from Rey for good measure. Kidman loads up Juvy for a shot from Rey but Guerrera moves just in time, causing Rey to hit the champion. Everyone starts hitting everyone now and it’s Kidman taking over. Kidman puts Rey on his shoulders for a top rope cross body from Juvy, only to roll Kidman up and send Juvy crashing to the mat. Billy counters that into a wheelbarrow suplex on Rey, sending him onto Juvy for two.

Juvy gets in a shot to both guys and manages to bulldog them both down at the same time to get himself a breather. Guerrera hits some hard chops on both guys but Rey sends him into the corner. Juvy escapes a German suplex from Mysterio, only to be clotheslined down by Kidman. Everyone is down again but Juvy sends both guys to the floor for a BIG dive to take them both out. The fans don’t seem to care which is rather surprising as the dive looked great.

Back in and Juvy goes up top, only to dive into a double dropkick to put him down again. Kidman tries to slide through Rey’s legs but gets pounded in the head by Rey. Juvy comes in with a springboard rana on Rey for two, only to have Kidman climbs the corner and bulldog Juvy down while dropkicking Rey down at the same time. Kidman goes up top for a splash but hits Juvy’s feet, allowing Rey to hit a springboard moonsault of his own for two. With Juvy sitting on the top, Rey snaps off a rana to send him out to the floor, leaving Kidman alone in the ring.

Rey heads back in and gets caught in a suplex by the champion followed by a middle rope legdrop for two. Everyone is back in now and Kidman hits a sweet layout powerbomb on Juvy for two. Rey bulldogs Kidman down for two more as it’s clear everyone is getting tired. The champion throws Juvy to the floor but gets low bridged by Rey, allowing Mysterio to hit a top rope Asai Moonsault to take both guys out. Back in again and Rey hits a gorgeous springboard rana on Juvy, only to be caught in the Juvy Driver (kind of a combination slam and piledriver) for two as Kidman makes the save.

Now Kidman sits on the top rope as Juvy launches Rey over his shoulders into another hurricanrana to snap Kidman down to the mat. Billy gets two on Juvy via a lifting powerbomb before a Rey rana takes both he and Juvy to the floor. Kidman goes up top and hits a shooting star press (standing backflip) to take the challengers out, drawing boos. The booing is due to Eddie Guerrero coming to the ring, distracting the referee as Kidman has Juvy rolled up. Eddie tries to break it up and give Juvy the title but Rey breaks up that cover, allowing Kidman to roll Guerrera up to retain.

Rating: B. Very solid opener here with a lot of great high spots to fire up the crowd. For some reason the fans didn’t get all fired up from it but that can’t be blamed on the guys in the ring. Some of those dives by Rey were incredible as he’s fully rounded into the star that he was capable of being. Kidman and Juvy hung in there quite well also though, making this quite the opening match.

Eddie FREAKS over losing and yells at Juvy and Rey, calling them morons, dweebs and sissies. Since his minions screwed up already, Eddie calls out Kidman for a title shot RIGHT NOW. Kidman is more than happy to oblige.

Cruiserweight Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman

Eddie, in boots and jeans, stomps Kidman down to start before hitting a powerbomb for two. A small package gets the same as Kidman is clearly tired here. Off to an abdominal stretch on the champion with Juvy helping Eddie. Rey will have none of that and breaks up the assistance, drawing Eddie to the floor to yell at him, thereby giving Kidman a breather. Back in and Kidman goes nuts, pounding Eddie down with stomps and punches to the head to stun Eddie.

A punch to Kidman’s knee slows Kidman down though and it’s off to a leg lock with the arm trapped as well. They head to the outside with Eddie being whipped into the barricade but Kidman is rammed into the post as we head inside again. A bulldog puts Guerrero down for no count as Kidman pounds away again. Kidman beats on Eddie in the corner again but Eddie pulls off his boot to blast Billy in the head to lay him out. A brainbuster puts Kidman down again but the champion gets up and superplexed Eddie down to break up the frog splash.

Eddie climbs the ropes to hit a hurricanrana on the champion for no cover. Kidman instead counters a powerbomb by driving Eddie face first into the mat and stomping away again before hitting a slingshot legdrop for two. Eddie blocks a top rope rana but Kidman shoves him down again. Eddie’s bodyguard tries to get in, allowing Juvy to crotch Kidman on the top rope. Rey will have none of that though and crotches Eddie, allowing Kidman to hit the Shooting Star to retain.

Rating: B. Another solid match here as Kidman gets to look like a star by surviving all the cheating and nearly half an hour of wrestling. Mysterio wasn’t a willing member of the team as he had been forced into their ranks due to a loss to Guerrero. The theory was to have him feud with the group for costing Eddie the title here, but Eddie would be in a bad car wreck in less than a week, putting him on the shelf for five months and ending the team for all intents and purposes.

Kidman and Mysterio would team up to win the Tag Team Titles on Nitro. Here’s a title defense from Slamboree 1999.

Tag Titles: Raven/Perry Saturn vs. Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko

Raven and Saturn are back together again for some reason. The Horsemen (Benoit and Malenko) are heels. Raven and Saturn are rather popular. I really like WCW’s style in these matches as three are three men in the ring at once. Oh and Rey/Kidman are the champions. Kidman, Dean and Saturn start us off. Saturn is in a skirt due to a long story with Jericho.

Malenko gets beaten down and Saturn beats up Benoit who I guess got a tag. Saturn throws Kidman over the top in a release belly to belly. That landing looked SICK. You can’t tag someone from another team in this match. BIG Horsemen Suck chant. Raven covers Benoit and avoids a slingshot leg from Rey. Benoit and Kidman drape Raven over the top and then Benoit smashes Billy.

This is a very fast paced match so it’s hard to keep up with everything. A top rope splash by Kidman misses Benoit as Raven is on the floor. He manages to break up the Crossface though and double teams Benoit with Saturn. Frog splash to Benoit gets two. In a move that literally made my jaw drop, Dean launches Rey over his shoulder and Rey LANDS ON THE BUCKLE ON HIS FEET and hits a moonsault press for two. THAT WAS AWESOME.

Saturn dives on everyone not named Benoit and Raven. Benoit hits the Swan Dive to Raven for two but Saturn saves. The Horsemen double team Rey and now they beat up Saturn. The tagging aspect has been dropped for the time being. And of course just as I say that it’s officially Benoit vs. Kidman vs. Saturn. Kidman fights back and the fans cheer. BIG superkick from Saturn takes him down though. The crowd is really into this.

Benoit hits a springboard forearm over the top (think Jericho and his dropkick to the apron) to take out Saturn. The two of them are in the ring and a northern lights suplex gets two for the Canadian. Here are the Rolling Germans but Kidman makes the save. Dean gets a tag and gets rolled up by Saturn in a reversal to the Cloverleaf. Saturn is knocked to the floor and things slow down a bit.

Dean is like screw slow and KILLS Kidman with a powerbomb for two. Dragon Suplex to Kidman gets a delayed two. Dean tries to throw Billy into the air but Kidman hits a dropkick in mid air to break it up. Russian legsweep takes Benoit down and there’s the tag to Raven for a big reaction. He hits what we would call Three Amigos to Benoit for two. Back to Saturn who is a bit spent.

Rey vs. Saturn vs. Benoit at this point. Saturn saves a pin on Rey as Malenko and Kidman come in. Saturn and Benoit are down and Kidman isn’t sure who to jump on. Dean tries another powerbomb on him but Kidman rolls into a sunset flip. Everything breaks down and the champs hit a SWEET alley-oop rana to Benoit in the corner. They try it on Saturn but he hits a top rope sitout powerbomb to Rey for two. Arn comes in and hits a spinebuster on Saturn to HUGE heel heat. Someone in a Sting mask breaks up the Shooting Star by crotching Kidman. An elevated Even Flow gives Raven/Saturn the belts. Kanyon was in the mask.

Rating: B. This is better than probably any other match I’ve seen in all of WCW so far in 1999. They were all over the place in here and beating the living tar out of each other, which is the best thing you can ask for. Also the popular team wins off a big ending with the DDT. Very good match, but now things are going to fall through the floor, which is WCW in a nutshell.

Kidman would go to war with a group called the Revolution and was supposed to face them in three matches at Souled Out 2000. A bunch of injuries and card shuffling happened though so the matches were changed. Kidman still wrestled three times in one night though.

Billy Kidman vs. Dean Malenko

Kidman is one of the Filthy Animals and Malenko is part of the Revolution which was supposed to be a youth movement stable but it was changed into a military thing or something. This is under catch-as-catch-can which means a regular match but you can’t leave the ring.

Dean takes it to the floor quickly and the fans are loudly booing. We hear about what Kidman has to do tonight and I wonder why Douglas isn’t fighting for the Revolution tonight. LOUD booing now as Malenko keeps backing up. I have no idea if the fans know the rules here or not. Big crowd tonight too at over 14,000.

Kidman hammers away and Dean rolls to the floor, ending the match. Dean starts getting back in and I think he messed up here. This is exactly what this show didn’t need at all. Way too short to grade as it might have been two minutes long but the fans cheer for Kidman winning so uh….good? This was Dean’s last WCW match as he would debut as part of the Radicalz in 15 days.

Billy Kidman vs. Perry Saturn

This is a Bunkhouse match, meaning hardcore. At least Kidman’s music is kind of catchy. Saturn is freaking stacked as far as muscles go. Perry stomps away to start and gets a clothesline to take Kidman down. Big press slam as this is a regular match so far. Kidman fights back with speed and punches in the corner. Clothesline gets two. He tries a running headlock takeover out of the corner but gets crotched on the top rope and clotheslined to the floor. That gets two on the floor.

Back in the ring and Saturn does something to Kidman’s neck but gets rolled up for two. This is painfully boring. Springboard legdrop gets two for Saturn. Kidman’s shirt is ripped off and we FINALLY get to a weapon, in this case, a table which is laid face down on the floor instead of being set up in the ring. Ah there it is. Heenan: “Tony we could make a fortune in a table company.” Mike: “Heenan if you’re involved the only thing it’ll be is under the table.” That was good. Where is this funny Mike every other show?

The table is on the floor but Saturn can’t suplex onto him. Saturn gets an elbow from the top rope for no cover so Kidman grabs a sunset flip for two. Diving powerbomb gets two as does a Sky High from Kidman. Saturn throws Kidman over the top and through the table which gets two. It looked great if nothing else. Saturn tries a powerbomb from the top but gets backdropped instead. Out of NOWHERE Saturn tries another powerbomb (does he get paid per powerbomb?) but gets dropped in a facejam for the pin. This was Saturn’s last match in WCW.

Rating: D+. I’m starting to feel bad for giving these matches such low grades. They’re not really that terrible but they’re just so painfully uninteresting. I’m flying through this show and I’ve yet to see anything worth watching in it. Every one of the six matches so far range from just kind of there to completely uninteresting. There were some cool spots here and I like Saturn so I guess you could call this the match of the night so far….somehow.

Billy Kidman vs. ???

This is in a cage called Caged Heat, which means Hell in a Cell. Shane Douglas of the Revolution comes out to talk about how awesome the Revolution is and introduces the mystery guy. And it’s the Wall, a guy that has nothing to do with the Revolution until tonight. This is when Wall was still a total killer. Kidman finds a chair under the ring and cracks him with a chair to start.

So let me make sure I have this straight. A guy is thrown into the card to face a guy that joined a stable he was feuding with and I think a one day notice and is in the Cell with him. Got it. Standard small man vs. monster here with Wall taking him down with a big boot. Kidman is rammed back first into the cage and it’s all big man. Kidman gets a sunset bomb off the middle rope for two. He goes up, jumps into a chokeslam and we’re done. Five minute match in the Cell. I give up.

Rating: F. Not only was it a bad match, it was a bad match in the Hell in a Cell cage! I mean people, why in the world would you use that? If you’re going to change one match, change the rest too. Why is that so hard? Terrible match and a terrible ending to this three match system thing.

Here’s the biggest moment of Kidman’s career, from April 10, 2000. It’s not an official match but I have to include this. There’s a story about Kidman and the New Blood wanting respect from the old guard (the Millionaires’ Club) but it’s mainly about Hogan vs. Russo.

Here’s Kidman to talk about how the New Blood has been held down for so long. There’s one man he wants more than anyone else: Hulk Hogan. Kidman may not have Hogan’s body, but he has two things Hogan will never have: heart and talent. The only reason Hogan has that orange tan of his is because Hogan has been in the spotlight way too long. He calls Hogan out right now and gets the man himself.

Hulk is tired of Kidman’s whining and says Kidman is the kind of guy that gives the young guns a bad name. Kidman says Hogan’s run is over so Hulk insults Kidman’s girlfriend Torrie Wilson. It’s on now with Kidman getting the better of it until they head outside with Hogan hammering away.

Back in and Hogan talks some more trash. This brings out Bischoff with a chair for the screwjob. Hogan does the most obvious blade job of all time, clearly running his hand over his left eye a few seconds before Bischoff blasts him in the head. Even as a kid I knew it was a blade job. Naturally the cut is RIGHT OVER THE EYE as Kidman covers for a Bischoff counted three. Not a match of course and Hogan would beat him twice on PPV, but I had to throw this in.

Kidman would join the Filthy Animals and feud with whatever heel stable WCW had at the time. Here’s one from Mayhem 2000 where WCW managed to screw up the concept of time.

Filthy Animals vs. Alex Wright/Kronik

Ok so this was supposed to be Konnan/Kidman/Rey vs. Disqo/Wright. Konnan isn’t here so it’s Rey/Kidman as the Filthy Animals vs. Wright/Kronik but Kronik is leaving after seven and a half minutes. FOR THE LOVE OF CHEESE JUST HAVE A MATCH! Tygress gets on commentary. Wright and Kidman start us off. Ok make that Kidman and Adams start us off.

Disqo points out to the announcers that he’s the wrestler on the month in WCW magazine. This is far sloppier than you would expect. Adams hits the full nelson slam to Kidman but Wright tags himself in to try to get the pin. Since the time thing is going to be the ending of course it only gets two so Rey and Clark come in. Rey has horns on his head. What is with his odd choices in costumes?

Clark has a stopwatch going so he knows how much longer he has to be here. Basic idea here: Kronik beats up the little guys and then Wright comes in like the cowardly heel to steal pin attempts. Wright vs. Rey now. Madden hits on Tygress and after six minutes and fifteen seconds or so, Kronik leaves. They couldn’t even get TIME right? Wright gets in a bit of offense after that but a modified What’s Up ends him.

Rating: D+. They messed up TIME. Do you have any idea how hard it is to mess up a time angle when they allegedly had a stopwatch there with them? The match was just barely ok either with both teams just wasting time until the stupid part of the match could come into play. In other words, the big strong guys had no problems against the small guys but just left so the small guys could win. Give me a break.

In the dying days of WCW, the company would introduce Cruiserweight Tag Team Titles. Kidman and Rey Mysterio would lose in the finals of a tournament to become first champions. They would earn a title shot on the final Nitro though and get the shot later in the night.

Cruiserweight Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Elix Skipper/Kid Romeo

This was the final of the tournament to give us the original champions, 8 days prior. The announcers continue to insist how much WCW loves young guys. Romeo never did anything at all but Skipper wound up in TNA. Kidman and Mysterio I think you know of. Hot tags to Rey and Skipper as it’s pretty clear that this is going to be another 3 minute or so match.

Scott points out that the champions were just thrown together. Bronco Buster to Elix (really Elix?) and it turns into a huge mess. Rey with a springboard falling headbutt for two but Skipper makes the save. More near falls follow and Kidman gets out of Skipper’s Play of the Day and hits the Kid Crusher (Killswitch) for the final title reign in the history of the belts.

Rating: B-. Another 4 minute yet still entertaining match. I remember when the titles were announced that more or less no one wanted to see them but when did that stop WCW? This wasn’t anything special at all but it was pretty solid I guess. Skipper and Romeo were just thrown together and told they were the best team. The belts lasted 8 days so it’s not like they meant anything.

Kidman would jump to the WWF in the InVasion and do pretty much nothing for over a year, save for some Cruiserweight Title matches. None of them would mean anything until Survivor Series 2002. There’s no real story here but that’s often the case with this title.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman

Jamie is defending and has Nidia with him. Kidman grabs two very fast rollups for two and make that four in the first 30 seconds. Jamie bails to the floor but Kidman throws him right back in. Noble comes back with a neckbreaker and it’s off to a bow and arrow. Kidman gets thrown to the floor and Noble hits a suicide dive. Tazz: “I think Noble has something up his sleeve, but he’s not wearing a shirt so he has no sleeve.”

Back in and Kidman speeds things up with a back elbow and a dropkick followed by an AA into a backbreaker for two. A Falcon’s Arrow gets two for Noble so Kidman hits Tessmacher’s Tesshocker (belly to back suplex position but he slams Noble down face first instead). Kidman loads up the Shooting Star but Noble bails to the floor. That’s fine with Billy so he dives on Noble out there to take the champ down again.

Back in and Nidia distracts Kidman but gets knocked off the apron by Kidman. The BK Bomb (Low Down) gets two for Kidman as does a Tiger Bomb for Noble. They go up top and Kidman hits a sitout inverted DDT. That was pretty awesome looking but it only gets two. Noble hits Orton’s Elevated DDT for two out of the corner so Kidman hits an enziguri to take over again. Billy loads up the Shooting Star but a Nidia distraction….only delays Kidman as he hits the Shooting Star for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. These two got going good and strong at the end which is exactly what you want from a match like this. When you can get into the area of a match where it’s one big move after another and you’re just waiting on one of them to stay down, that’s a great sign. The Shooting Star looked great too. This wasn’t a masterpiece or anything but it was solid.

We’re going to jump ahead a bit as Kidman didn’t really do much in WWE save for a meaningless Smackdown Tag Title reign. However, in 2004 he would botch a Shooting Star on Paul London and legitimately injure him. This was turned into an angle where Kidman was afraid to use it and his career was in trouble. London came back for revenge at No Mercy 2004.

Billy Kidman vs. Paul London

London sprints to the ring but Kidman runs. Paul wants answers. I’m not sure what the question is but I guess that’s up for interpretation. London controls to start and hits a leg lariat for two. A clothesline puts Kidman down and then out to the floor. London hits a sweet springboard moonsault but he might have hit the apron on the way down. Slingshot splash gets two back inside.

Kidman comes back by ramming his face into the buckle and kicking him in the face. London’s ribs are rammed into the post and Kidman goes after the ribs. All Billy at this point as he smacks London in the face. Apparently London had a broken nose recently. See, that’s something good a commentator can do: remind us of something that makes offense more vicious.

Billy stretches the ribs more and catches London in a gutbuster for two. Off to a seated abdominal stretch and London is in big trouble. Kidman gets back up and tries a tornado DDT for some reason. London blocks and hits an enziguri, but his powerbomb is blocked into an X Factor for two. Kidman tries a Low Down but London countered with a rana for two. London tries to speed things up but gets caught by a dropkick. Billy looks to the corner but walks off instead. He comes back at a count of seven and walks into a superkick. London tries a Shooting Star but it lands on knees. Kidman’s Shooting Star ends this.

Rating: C+. That was a solid heel turn match for Kidman. The rib work was great and the ending was solid too. I was liking this quite a bit with a good story the whole time, which is more than you can ask for more often than not. Kidman would be gone by June and London would get stuck in Cruiserweight Title limbo, but it was a good way to get there at least.

Kidman would leave the WWE in 2005 and wrestle several times in FCW but we’ll wrap it up now as this has gone on far too long. The problem for Kidman was he always had to deal with guys like Rey Mysterio and Juventud Guerrera who would just fly all over the place and outshine him. However, Kidman was more than capable of holding his own in there and had some excellent matches with a lot of people. He had some success outside of the Cruiserweight division, but as was often the case in WCW, he never got a huge push otherwise. It’s a shame too as the guy is very talented.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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The series is available on WWE Network in its entirety under the Vault section. There are 35 shows in the series with some of the best matches WCW ever produced included.

In case you don’t know, I’ve written an e-book of reviews for all 35 shows which is available at Amazon. It’s an in depth look at every show including reviews, background information, analysis and play by play of every match and segment in the show’s history. These reviews are all new, aren’t available on the site and can only be found in the book.

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If you live in another country, just go to your Amazon page and search for KB’s History of Clash of the Champions. The book is under $4 or the equivalent in whatever other country. It serves as a great guide through the series in case you’re new to WCW or don’t know a lot of the background information.

Check it out and enjoy,

KB

Today is 1derful. Mr. 1derful Paul Orndorff actually. That’s how he signs autographs actually.

 

Orndorff got his start in 1976 after a very solid football career at the University of Tampa. He would go all around the territories as was tradition back then, including a stop in Japan in 1980 for this tag match.

Hulk Hogan/Paul Orndorff vs. Antonio Inoki/Riki Choshu

Hogan has a beard here and gets almost no reaction. After a weapons check we’re ready to go. Orndorff and Choshu start things off and we actually get a clean break. Paul takes him down by the arm for early control as Freddie Blassie is managing the Americans. Hogan comes in and hammers on Riki in the corner before it’s off to Inoki for a showdown. Hulk drags him into the corner by the arm but it’s quickly back to Orndorff to crank on the arm.

Inoki sweeps the leg out and it’s back to Choshu as this is a rather technical match so far. It’s always interesting to see how differently things go in other countries in different eras. Choshu stays on the leg and puts on something like an STF but just lets go of it to be nice I guess. Hogan comes in with some slams for two and a hard shot to the head. Oh yeah the Americans are heels here.

Hogan lifts Riki up and drops him down onto Paul’s knee so Orndorff can bend the spine a bit. Saito Suplex gets two and we hit the chinlock with a knee in the back. The heels take turns working over Choshu until Hogan scores with a lariat. He lifts Choshu into the air and manages to talk trash to Inoki before slamming Riki down. Choshu grabs a brainbuster out of nowhere for two on Paul and everything breaks down. All four guys go to the floor and the match is thrown out.

Rating: C. This was fine other than a quick ending. Choshu and Inoki are both legends who can do no wrong and you have two young guys in Hogan/Orndorff to rile up the crowd. It really is amazing to see Hogan at this point in his career as a lot of the stuff that made him famous is there but in a completely different form.

We’ll jump ahead a good bit here to Orndorff in the WWF, where he saw by far his greatest success. First up is this match from September 1, 1984 in St. Louis which we’ll look at because it has Tito Santana in it and Tito Santana is awesome.

Intercontinental Title: Tito Santana vs. Paul Orndorff

This is from September 1, 1984 in St. Louis. I know because there’s a graphic that says September 1, 1984 in St. Louis. Orndorff is a top heel here but not quite Piper’s levels. Tito is a house of fire to start. Must have had the extra hot sauce on his taco today. The fans chant Paula and there are even signs. Technical stuff to start as they fight for control. Top wristlock by Tito and he finally gets him down.

Back to the mat and Tito cranks on the arm. Orndorff tries to fight out but we need to work on that arm some more. Clipped to the armbar still on but the two guys on their feet now. Orndorff grabs an atomic drop and Tito is in trouble. Knee lift puts Santana on the floor. Outside now and there’s another atomic drop. Tito’s shoulder is bleeding a bit. Orndorff actually does the RVD thumb point.

Tito comes back in with a sunset flip but Paul punches him in the head to stop him. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long. Tito hits him with some shots but a suplex puts him right back down. Cross body gets two for Tito. The fans are way into this. Santana starts hitting him in the kidneys and a knee lift puts Paul down. Orndorff tries a middle rope splash but it eats knees.

Tito gets all fired up and pounds Paul down with what Jesse would call that firey Latin temper of his. Boston Crab is countered but Paul goes into the buckle anyway. That gets two but Tito gets his head taken off by a clothesline. That gets two and this is a VERY slow referee. Orndorff stomps away in the same style that Lance Storm used. Paul gets in another shot but time runs out at about 14:30 shown so a lot must have been cut.

Rating: B-. Fun match but I’d have liked to see the full version. It’s not quite the classic that it’s hyped up as here but this was still pretty fun. Orndorff was better than he was given credit for but he was caught between two legendary feuds so his stuff with Hogan is often forgotten, which is a shame.

Soon after this the WWF would hit one of its peaks with the Rock and Wrestling Connection. Orndorff would be right in the middle of things as he was a close friend of Roddy Piper, who was causing all the drama. With Hogan having Mr. T. backing him up, Orndorff was brought in by Piper as his second for the tag team main event of the first Wrestlemania.

Hulk Hogan/Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper/Paul Orndorff

Piper comes out with the full New York Pipe and Drums band while Hogan and T come out to Eye of the Tiger. Advantage Hogan/T. Piper and Orndorff have Bob Orton as their second while Hogan/T have Jimmy Snuka. Advantage Hogan/T. This is looking kind of one sided isn’t it? Oh and Pat Patterson is the inside referee while Ali is the outside referee. The heels all hug and we’re ready to go.

Orndorff and Hogan get things going but Piper tags in before there’s any contact. Therefore T wants to fight Piper and they immediately head to the mat. T and Piper do some amateur stuff and T actually lasts long enough for a standoff. We get some staring until T hooks Piper in an airplane spin. Everything breaks down and Ali gets in to help break it up. Orton and Snuka try to get in as well but Ali glares Orton down.

Things break down again and the heels get rammed together until we get down to Hogan vs. Piper. Hulk rams Piper’s head into the mat over and over until it’s back to T. Hogan offers his knee as something to ram Piper’s head into and it’s back to the champion to send Piper to the outside. Orndorff jumps Hogan from behind and knocks him outside where Roddy blasts him with a chair.

Paul chokes away from the apron until T charges in for the save. Pat Patterson has to pull T off and you know he enjoys this in some way. A double atomic drop puts Hogan down and Orndorff hits a vertical suplex. Roddy comes back in to get in his punches and knee shots followed by an Orndorff top rope elbow to the back of Hulk’s neck for two. Paul goes up again but misses the knee drop and there’s the hot tag to T.

Orndorff and T brawl on the mat for a bit until Mr. gets in trouble via a Piper front facelock. That goes nowhere though as T stands up and makes the tag with no effort to be seen. Hogan pounds away but walks into a belly to back suplex. Orton and Snuka get in the ring for no apparent reason and as the referee calms things down, Orton comes in off the top with the cast but hits Orndorff by mistake to give Hogan the pin.

Rating: B-. Is it great? Not even close, but the point of this match was the crowd reacting to it rather than the match itself. It’s easily the best match of the night and while the only question coming into tonight was who was getting the fall. This was exactly what the fans wanted and that’s what this was supposed to be about. Nice main event here.

Piper would blame Orndorff for the loss, kicking off a feud between the two of them. From Saturday Night’s Main Event #2.

Paul Orndorff vs. Roddy Piper

This was on the SNME DVD which is well worth buying. Piper has ANOTHER Scottish band with him. Big feud here as these two had been partners against Hogan but they blamed each other for the loss at Mania, resulting in Orndorff turning face eventually and then turning heel again to light the company on fire including a 60,000 person house show in Toronto.

This is a total brawl and not resembling a match in the slightest. They just beat the heck out of each other with punches, kicks and chokes. To be fair though that’s what this is supposed to be so they’re hitting the mark on that front. We hit the floor maybe a minute and a half in and it’s just nuts. Today this isn’t much but at this time it’s a big old brawl. Orndorff busts out a suplex and Jesse points out it’s the first wrestling move.

The referee puts the fastest ten count in recorded history on them but they’re both up. We hit the floor again and the fans are into this. We head up the aisle for the double countout which is the right thing to do. This never got a proper blowoff for some reason which is a shame. They fight into the back and Piper hides in a locker room as we go to a break.

Rating: C+. From a wrestling perspective this is awful but from a brawling perspective this was great. The idea was to just have these two want to kill each other and that’s how it went. This was one of the hottest feuds possible and it worked very well in that sense. It was a good brawl but FAR too short to be great.

Orndorff would be entered in the Wrestling Classic tournament in November 1985.

First Round: Bob Orton Jr. vs. Paul Orndorff

This is the final first round match, so if nothing else we can move on to some more interesting stuff, at least in theory. Orton has a sore arm apparently. Doesn’t look serious though so he should be fine soon. The main idea here is that Orton wants the bounty. The arm has been injured about 8 months already and I think it still would be at Mania 3. For a little reference, this is about six months before Mania 2.

In a wise move, Orndorff works on the arm. Well at least he’s smart about it. In a freaking sick looking move, Paul (way too annoying to have to keep typing his last name) hooks his feet around the arm of Orton and more or less uses an Indian Deathlock on it. That looked awesome. There’s your heel comeback but I’m distracted by the hotness of Mickie James on Smackdown.

Ok I’m back now. How did two hours pass in between there??? And why am I all sticky? When did I go to Arby’s??? Oh well at least it tastes good. Orton is the bodyguard of Piper at this point so he’s being constantly called the bodyguard of Piper. He really was technically sound if nothing else so there we are. This is actually a pretty good match just like the previous one. These are two guys that can work a decent match when they have to.

Paul was a good wrestler but a horrible character if that makes sense. He was just bland as all goodness. Think about it: name one time where he was interesting other than Hogan. See what I mean? In another kind of dumb ending, a cast shot gets the DQ for Paul. Well, that’s one way to do it I guess. This wound up becoming part of a bigger feud involving Piper and Muraco that would eventually result in Piper’s great heel work turning Orndorff heel again in about a year or less.

Rating: B-. Again, this is a solid example of how you make a decent match. Now to be fair they had a lot more time here than anyone else has had (seven minutes which still isn’t much at all) and they made the most of it. There was a story here or at least something looking like one. Both guys worked fairly hard and while the ending sucked, not much else did. That’s how it’s done again.

A few months later, Orndorff would start teaming with Hulk Hogan. This led to the two of them gaining some big victories, but Bobby Heenan got involved. He taunted Orndorff by saying that Hogan had no respect for him and wasn’t really Orndorff’s friend. Paul called Hogan but was told that Hulk was working out and couldn’t come to the phone. Orndorff was upset and spent their next match wrestling by himself to prove that he could do everything just as well as Hogan.

There was an interesting point in the match where Orndorff tried to slam King Kong Bundy but couldn’t quite do it. Hogan finally got the tag and easily slammed both Bundy and Big John Studd, which further infuriated Orndorff. He turned on Hogan post match and joined Heenan, who immediately praised Orndorff as the best wrestler in the world, which is all Orndorff wanted: some recognition. It was an oddly deep angle which a lot of people didn’t get the full measure of. Anyway, the first big showdown was at a massive house show called The Big Event.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Paul Orndorff

This is the hottest feud in the world as Orndorff had turned face to help Hogan with Piper and Orton but Hogan had more or less been a jerk (I don’t know about you but I’m STUNNED over that) to him and wouldn’t answer the phone when he was working out. Heenan then poked Orndorff into believing that Hogan didn’t ever care about him but that Heenan always would.

Orndorff, wanting to be accepted and not used, turned to the dark side and beat up Hogan at a big show to set up this which launched the hottest feud in perhaps ever at this point. This was the only reason that this whole show happened on such a huge stage, much like Hogan vs. Andre. The only difference here is that there wasn’t a Savage vs. Steamboat to balance it out. Also, Mania would have nearly 20,000 more people, or another Madison Square Garden on top of this. That’s just completely ridiculous.

They start off with just a big freaking brawl and the fans are WAY into this. This is more or less all punching and chasing until Heenan makes the stop and the heel takes over. Orndorff was a different kind of heel as instead of this big fat slob, he was small and athletic which was something new for Hogan. Also there were a lot of people that were siding with Orndorff as Hogan had really just been a massive jerk to him.

Ladd really likes kissing up to Hogan. He’s getting into Vince territory, but then again Hogan has muscles and Vince is way too obsessed with musclemen. GOOD NIGHT that referee is slow. Paul dominates until Hogan starts to Hulk Up. He uses a jumping knee to the back of Orndorff and the referee is crushed. Hogan imitates Orndorff with the arm in the air for the clothesline which is how Orndorff turned on him.

He goes for Orndorff’s piledriver but Heenan runs in with a wooden stool to blast Hogan in the head. Why he had that is beyond me. For no apparent reason the referee wakes up and taps Orndorff to say that Hogan wins by DQ. Hogan wakes up and kicks his teeth in for no apparent reason other than being a jerk. We get a replay with no commentary for no apparent reason before posing and credits take us out.

Rating: B-. This was all about the atmosphere and not about the match itself. Even still this was fine as both guys were over as heck in their respective roles and this was indeed a huge match. Hogan going over unclean was smart as it gave Orndorff a reason for a rematch which was required so all was fine here. I’m not sure I get why Paul was disqualified but it was Hogan’s world so there we are.

The feud would continue with Hogan turning to Roddy Piper of all people to help him fight the Heenan Family. From November 24, 1986.

Paul Orndorff/Harley Race vs. Hulk Hogan/Roddy Piper

These two teaming up together always feels wrong. Big brawl to start until Hogan and Piper clear the ring. The heels come back in so Hogan picks up Piper and uses his feet as a battering ram. Piper vs. Race officially gets us started. Off to Hulk and the place goes manic. They work on Race’s arm and it’s back to Piper for another big pop. Ok make it Hogan again. You know they work well together for mortal enemies.

They do look at each other with a bit of disdain and a lack of trust but if they didn’t it would be awful. Race headbutts his way out of trouble but still can’t bring Paul in. Back to Hulk and the arm work continues. The place is about to come unglued. Race finally gets in a belly to belly and knee drop to take over. Here’s Orndorff off the top and Piper is in trouble now.

The heels take turns on Piper and it’s off to a chinlock. This place is going to explode when Hogan gets the tag. Suplex keeps Roddy down and it’s off to Paul again. Race hammers away on Piper some more and headbutts him. Roddy stands still and looks like he’s about to fall down when he dives forward for the tag. That looked great. Race looks scared to death and Hogan pounds away. House is cleaned and he drops the leg but Orndorff saves. Heenan gets drilled and heel miscommunication lets Piper pin Race which counts for some reason.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches where it’s about the atmosphere instead of the match itself. Piper and Hogan teaming together is still a weird sight and I’m not sure how well I like it. Still though, fun little match that blew the roof off MSG (that thing has to be in disrepair given how often it happens) which is the entire idea.

One more match between the two, from Saturday Night’s Main Event IX in the final blowoff.

WWF World Title: Paul Orndorff vs. Hulk Hogan

This is the first cage match on network TV apparently. Well that’s kind of cool. Paul has stolen Hogan’s music at this point which is such a great heel tactic and someone needs to steal it today. Hogan says it’s time for a new start but the cage is a dead end for Orndorff. His eyes are bugging out of his head so he’s liked coked half to death.

Today this would be the main event of a major PPV like the Rumble with ease, if not Mania. In other words, this was HUGE. Orndorff jumps him early and we’re off to the races. Jess says the winner is the new champion. Does that mean the title is vacant? There are two officials here so keep that in mind as it’ll come into play later. Orndorff gets over the top but Hogan grabs him by the hair, allowing Jesse to get my favorite of his lines ever: Hogan would not be champion if Mr. Wonderful was bald. The delivery of it is just great.

Jesse is oddly hypocritical here by saying anything goes in a cage but then complaining about Hogan choking with a bandana. Vince keeps calling Hogan Champion Hogan. He’s done it at least 5 times in as many minutes. Danny Davis, the future evil referee, has the door locked for Hogan but unlocked for Orndorff. In a rather stupid moment, Hogan blocks a shot into the cage and rams Orndorff in, but Hogan winds up going in as well. Weird.

We get to the famous finish as both guys climb up on opposite sides and hit the floor at the seemingly same time where Davis names Orndorff as referee but Marella (Gorilla Monsoon’s son in some not that well known trivia) says it was Hogan. Jesse and Vince got at it over this. Fink says it’s a tie so we’re going to continue!

One key thing here is Orndorff is taking it to Hogan. He’s not a bit afraid of Hogan at all and isn’t your traditional challenger as he’s smaller than Hogan. One thing I’ve always wondered: why doesn’t Orndorff throw Hogan in and then just step back out and win the title? Davis is taken away thanks to Hogan hitting him earlier. Hogan Hulks Up and beats the living tar out of Wonderful, just completely destroying him for a long time before a leg drop (set up by a backbreaker of all things) lets him get out. He beats up Heenan for fun afterwards as a total jerk since Heenan wasn’t even facing him.

Rating: B. You need the context of this match to get why it’s so good. This was the final blowoff to this feud that went on for at least half a year. It was the undisputed top feud in the company and drew a TON of money. Also keep in mind that this was the first televised cage match ever on national TV. It was a PPV-level main event on free TV so how could it not be huge? However, it was only the appetizer as soon after this, Hogan would get a trophy for being world champion for three years. Andre would get a smaller one for being undefeated for fifteen years. The Frenchman wasn’t happy with it.

Orndorff would be fired by Heenan soon after this and turn face again. Heenan sent his men after Orndorff, including this match against Rick Rude from MSG on November 24, 1987.

Paul Orndorff vs. Rick Rude

These two would be in the main event Survivor Series match. This is a return match as these two had been feuding for awhile. Orndorff had quit Heenan’s stable and was feuding with everyone in the Heenan Family. Orndorff’s manager is Oliver Humperdink, who probably won’t live to see the summer this year. Orndorff pulls him to the floor immediately and the brawl is on.

Back in the ring and Rude is knocked into the ropes which he falls through, getting his leg caught. Orndorff grabs a cord and wraps it around Rude’s throat. Rude is just a step ahead of a comedy heel here as he wouldn’t become a serious guy for a year and a half. Bockwinkel freaking over the cheating is funny stuff. Atomic drop and a clothesline put Rude down.

Rude finally gets a knee up to stop Paul’s momentum. It’s so hilarious to hear Bockwinkel defend Heenan as Heenan was Bockwinkel’s manager for the better part of eternity back in the AWA. Rude takes over with his basic offense including a chinlock. Heenan jumps on the mic and talks about how he hasn’t been doing anything wrong at all. Gorilla calls him out on it and Heenan’s rant is hilarious stuff.

While still in the chinlock Orndorff stands up and drops Rude backwards into an electric chair. Bockwinkel calls Gorilla out for his hypocrisy about picking on heel managers rather than face managers and Gorilla more or less blows him off. Rude takes over again and hits his punch off the top rope. We’re maybe seven minutes into this and Gorilla is talking about the twenty minute mark. I guess he’s just thinking ahead as there hasn’t been any clipping here.

Paul makes his comeback and hammers away to more or less no reaction. Back drop puts Rude down and pulls Rude up off a pin which all of the commentators agree was a bad idea. Clothesline hits and it’s time for the Piledriver. Heenan gets up on the apron and gets knocked down by Rude. He distracts Paul again and Rude rolls him up with the tights to end it.

Rating: C. Total run of the mill 80s match here which was just ok. I’ve never been a fan of Orndorff and this was just average, which is probably why I never was that big on him. Rude winning like that is fine as it keeps heat on him and it has Orndorff lose again which would eventually lead to him turning heel again and rejoining Heenan. Totally basic match.

Orndorff would take a break from wrestling almost immediately after this as he had badly injured his arm but was making $20,000 a week feuding with Hogan. He would make a comeback in WCW in 1990 though, as part of Sting’s Dudes With Attitude stable to feud with the Horsemen. Here’s one of his highest profile matches from the run, at Great American Bash 1990.

Dudes With Attitude vs. Horsemen

It’s Orndorff/JYD/El Gigante (making his debut) vs. Sid/Barry/Arn (TV Champion) and this is more of the Sting’s guys vs. Horsemen war. Arn vs. Paul gets us going. Sid comes in instead so Paul hip tosses everyone. He can’t backslide Sid though, or at least not until the JYD headbutts Sid down. Arn comes in to pound on Paul but he fights out of the corner. El Gigante comes in and everyone named after a Horse runs.

The Horsemen have a huddle but Orndorff pulls him back in for a beating from JYD. Gigante pulls back a fist and Anderson runs very fast as his eyes bug out. Windham comes in and JYD gets down on all fours to headbutt him a few times. Arn punches the Dog a few times and brings Barry back in. Windham DDTs Dog and hey he has a hard head. That’s a new one from him.

A not hot tag brings Orndorff in and he cleans a few rooms. The Dudes were never in any real trouble so there’s no heat on the tag. He loads up the piledriver on Anderson but Barry comes in off the top to break it up. The fans want Sid so he comes in for a chinlock. Everything breaks down and a lot of people are thrown over the top. The Horsemen run from Gigante and somewhere in there the Dudes win via DQ.

Rating: D. There was no point here other than to showcase Gigante. The problem with that is he’s just there for his look rather than anything resembling skill. Very boring match here and the fans didn’t care at all other than wanting the eternally popular Sid. This wouldn’t end anytime soon that I remember.

Orndorff would hit the indies for awhile and do nothing of note save for a decent run in OVW. He would come back to WCW in 1993 as a heel with one of his first major matches coming at SuperBrawl III.

Cactus Jack vs. Paul Orndorff

This is falls count anywhere and the winner gets to replace an injured Rick Rude in a match at an upcoming Clash of the Champions. Jack was completely revolutionary at the time as no one had seen anyone as nuts as he was. He had been there a year already though so it’s not like he was still new. This is more or less Cactus doing his thing while Orndorff just being there because he drew money six and a half years ago. Jack hits that sunset flip off the apron for two and we’re finally in the ring.

This is a huge brawl or what passes for a huge brawl in 1993. They fight into the crowd which was a new thing back then. This started over a number one contenders match. Jack takes a suplex where his back landed on the railing. That has to hurt like freaking goodness. Orndorff keeps going after the knee as this has been far better than I expected it to be, which wasn’t much at all. We get a figure four and apparently this isn’t no DQ. Ok, what the heck? What about all the weapons shots from earlier on? So a knee brace isn’t a foreign object? After a chair shot to the knee, Orndorff signals for a piledriver but Jack gets the shovel he’s been carrying around and a shot to the head gets the out of nowhere pin.

Rating: B-. It was good but the ending came out of freaking nowhere. I liked this more than I should have though. The key thing here though: the young guy goes over. In a year and a half when Hogan showed up that got reversed and it eventually is what killed WCW off. Orndorff wasn’t exactly the next Rick Rude.

The singles run didn’t do much good over the course of 1993 so Orndorff tried his hand as a tag wrestler with partner Paul Roma. The team of Pretty Wonderful would get a shot at the World Tag Team Titles at Bash at the Beach 1994.

Tag Titles: Pretty Wonderful vs. Kevin Sullivan/Cactus Jack

So, we’re pushing Orndorff, a Hogan friend, over Cactus Jack, because Orndorff at 45 is worth more and has a brighter future than Cactus Jack who is 32 here and still healthy. We can’t have people cutting edgy and cool promos because we need to use the same ones we used in the 80s so we don’t have to actually come up with something on our own, so let’s just get rid of Jack because he’s young and popular and over and talented and people want to watch him.

We don’t have time for that. WE HAVE BEEFCAKE!!! My freaking goodness Paul Roma sucks. We see a shot of Cactus with no teeth because I guess they were knocked out or something. Next of course he bites Orrdorff. I hate WCW at times. So let’s see. We have a young guy that is popular but doesn’t wrestle a standard style. What’s the solution to discredit him?

Let’s put him in the ring with Paul Roma and a guy in his mid 40s with one good arm and then blame him for how much it sucked! I wish I was making that up, but they gave these guys more time than Steamboat and Austin. They actually asked Paul Roma and Paul Orndorff to wrestle for twenty minutes and expected it to be good. I mean seriously, who thought this was going to work?

Why is Orndorff on the roster anymore here? This is what killed WCW in my eyes: the old guys that were friends of Hogan getting pushes while the future, as in Austin and Jack getting depushed and let go because Hogan can’t go at their level and the show would have been stolen from him if they had stayed. ANYWAY after twenty minutes of this Jack hits the double arm but Roma holds his foot down and Orndorff pops up and covers him, allowing another old finish to end it.

Rating: D. And that’s only because Foley is my favorite wrestler of all time and I won’t fail him. This was just moronic as you know they could tell this would be bad but they did it anyway. Not only did the Pauls hold the titles but they beat ANOTHER young team to get them back and then Roma and Orndorff just faded away like they were supposed to, but not before making Cactus look terrible and having him head to ECW along with Austin.

They would lose the belts to Stars and Stripes a few months later. Here’s the rematch at Halloween Havoc 1994.

Tag Titles: Stars N Stripes vs. Pretty Wonderful

Pretty Wonderful are the former champions here as Stars N Stripes beat them about a month earlier. Good night do those teams sound generic. Pretty Wonderful is made up of Pretty Paul Roma and Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff. Stars N Stripes are Bagwell and the Patriot. I really am not looking forward to this. This just sounds like a bad match on an indy show or something like that.

Heenan suggests that the Patriot is Al Gore. Something tells me that Bobby is going to be all that gets me through this match and show. Bagwell was a five time champion with four different partners. That either says he’s a great tag wrestler or he has no direction so they kept throwing him in random tag teams because he had a big contract and they had nothing else to do with him.

You can tell the announcers are just bored to death as they’re arguing over what a tag is and then there’s something about Dennis Rodman. This is just BORING. They actually say this is the last night Hogan will face Flair. That’s just hilarious. They wrestled 15 years later and likely will in TNA also. They discuss the Lions’ Super Bowl chances. This is just amusing. Nothing at all is going on in the match.

They say that Tiger Stadium and Yankee Stadium are the last great ballparks. The real last great ballparks are the ones still in use today: Fenway and Wrigley. Heenan says that once all of the matches are over, no one is going to take a shower because they’ll all be watching the cage match.

Ok, number one, why does Heenan know the showering habits of the wrestlers and why would no one take a shower after their match when they have about an hour and a half before the main event? How clean do they like to get? The fans are more or less dead for this by the way. Bagwell hits the suplex and Wonderful hits an elbow on him to get the titles. This was somehow worse than the previous match.

Rating: D-. I have never cared less about a match than I did here. I’ve always thought Bagwell was hot and there’s a former Horseman in there though so it’s not a failure. The announcers were bored too as this was just bland as all goodness. This really wasn’t a good time for the tag division and it would take Harlem Heat to fix a lot if its problems.

We’ll wrap it up with Orndorff’s last match as a regular competitor. From December 11, 1995 on Nitro.

Disco Inferno vs. Paul Orndorff

This would be Orndorff’s last match for over four years as his neck was just destroyed. Disco jumps him to start and let’s talk about Hogan and Sting. The idiocy of Hogan skipping Starrcade shines brighter every time he’s on television before the show. Orndorff unleashes the power of the 80s to take over and dances a bit. BIG belly to back suplex has Disco in trouble. Ok so it has him pinned.

Rating: N/A. Total filler here as it’s less than three minutes long and a suplex of all things ended it. See you later Paul.

Paul Orndorff is a guy that I really haven’t cared for over most of his career but he’s grown on me a good bit since then. He’s one of the toughest men you’ll ever find in wrestling and was INSANELY over as a heel back in 1986. The turn against Hogan drew crazy money and was the biggest feud in years. Unfortunately it was immediately followed by Hogan vs. Andre so no one remembers it. His WCW days weren’t the best but his time in the WWF was excellent.

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Today is kind of a big deal: Yokozuna.

 

Yokozuna is part of the Samoan wrestling family and is a cousin to pretty much every Samoan wrestler you can think of. He got his start in the AWA but also wrestled in places like Japan, Mexico and others. Here’s one of those other places, in a match from WWC in Puerto Rico against Ricky Santana. I’m not sure when this was other than some point in the mid to late 80s or what the story behind it is.

Ricky Santana vs. Great Kokina

Kokina is dressed like the Headshrinkers would be in the WWF and has hair to match them. Santana tries some right hands in the corner but has almost no effect. A dropkick sends Kokina into the corner but he grabs a wristlock to take over again. Some headbutts to Santana’s hand of all places puts him back down for a nerve hold.

Santana is thrown to the floor (grass actually) before getting beaten in the corner like he stole something. Back to the nerve hold until Ricky fights up, only to be slammed back down to the mat. Kokina misses a headbutt though and Ricky hammers away, droppking the big man with a dropkick. Not that it matters though as Kokina crushes him with a Samoan drop for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing special here as Kokina was more of a generic Samoan monster than the awesome monster he would become. Santana isn’t the biggest deal in the world but he’s a name I’ve at least heard of. The match wasn’t all that much but it made Kokina out to be a killer.

Another place Kokina performed was in Germany for the Catch Wrestling Association. Here’s a match against CWA owner and boss Otto Wanz from December 17, 1988.

Otto Wanz vs. Great Kokina

Kokina is listed as the Prince of Hawaii. Wanz is CWA Champion here and is a big man in his own right. Kokina hammers him into the corner but Wanz comes back with forearms to the chest to a HUGE ovation. He knocks Kokina to the floor and the fans are losing their minds. The guy is over in his own company if nothing else. Back in and Wanz grabs a headlock before taking Kokina to the mat with an armbar.

Kokina comes back with a shot to the chest to set up a nerve hold before just letting it go for no apparent reason. The bell rings and I think that’s the end of a round, which used to be a common thing in European wrestling. Round two starts and chokes away in the corner, tearing away some of the pads in the process. Wanz comes back with more forearms to the chest but gets caught in another nerve hold. Back up again and Wanz slugs him into the corner one more time and Kokina goes down. Wanz picks up the leg and drives a knee into Kokina’s thigh before shifting it over to a half crab for an eventual submission.

Rating: D+. I’ll give Wanz this: he was over like free beer in a frat house out there. Kokina wasn’t as good as he was in Puerto Rico here but two big fat guys working together is a hard formula to make work. The match wasn’t the worst I’ve ever seen but Wanz was really just doing fat man offense out there, which was getting a great reaction to be fair.

It was off to the WWF after a few years in Japan where Kokina would become Yokozuna, making his big match debut at Survivor Series 1992.

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

Yoko is listed as being from the Polynesian Islands here. This is when Yoko is only 505lbs and he had padding in his outfit to make him look fatter. I think this is his PPV debut. Yoko immediately shoves him away and chops Virgil down. Some dropkicks do some good for Virgil but Yoko superkicks him (and gets his foot higher than Virgil did) to take over. Virgil pounds away a bit but a Rock Bottom takes him down. Some more shots stagger Yoko but a sidewalk slam and a legdrop make things all better again. Yoko misses a charge and like an IDIOT, Virgil tries a rollup. Yoko falls on him and it’s BANZAI for the pin.

Rating: C-. For a debut, this could have been better but it’s clear that no one is going to stop this guy for awhile. Yoko would get the rocket to the stars push soon, winning the Rumble in two months and the world title at Wrestlemania in another two months. Virgil was a jobber to the stars here and nothing more, which is all he should have been. Somehow he would keep a job until 1994.

While it’s not a big match, this is a fairly famous one from January 11, 1993. If the date rings a bell, it’s the debut episode of Monday Night Raw and this is the first match in the show’s history.

Koko B. Ware vs. Yokozuna

Koko comes out to what would become Owen’s music which makes sense as they were partners around this time. I wonder what’s going to happen here. They swear on the air which might be a first for Raw. The tag line was uncooked, uncut and uncensored. I never got the uncooked part. How is that appealing? Bartlett just makes fat jokes about Yoko which makes sense. Vince is about as excited as humanly possible to be here. Bartlett makes jokes implying that Koko is Gary Coleman which is kind of funny but just out of place here. After Koko gets in no offense for about 4 minutes, the Banzai Drop ends this.

Rating: N/A. It was a glorified squash which is fine. I’m not sure how good this was for the first match in history but that’s fine I guess. This was just to push Yoko so that certainly accomplished its job. A lot of the earlier shows were almost all squashes so get used to it. Koko being around at this point surprises me.

Yokozuna would win the Royal Rumble later that month and go on to Wrestlemania IX to challenge Bret Hart for the WWF World Title in the main event.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Bret is defending against Yoko who won the Royal Rumble. It wasn’t an automatic title shot yet but starting the following year it would be. Bret hits a quick dropkick and pounds away but a single shot knocks the champion away. A big tackle runs Bret over and sends him to the outside but he trips Yoko up to take him down. Bret pounds away but it doesn’t do a lot of damage. Yoko wins a battle of the clotheslines and a big old legdrop crushes the champ’s face.

Off to a nerve hold for a bit but Bret gets his feet up in the corner to block a charge. A middle rope bulldog puts the monster down for two which is a victory in and of itself. Yoko superkicks Bret down and it’s right back to the nerve hold. Bret fights up and makes his comeback, finally knocking Yoko down with a middle rope clothesline. A buckle pad is ripped off somewhere in there and Bret rams him face first into it. Yoko falls on his stomach and Bret gets the Sharpshooter, only to have Fuji throw salt in the champ’s face. That’s actually enough for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. Bret did what he could but there’s a limit to what you can get out of a big fat guy like this. The ending is pretty lame and the match lasted less than nine minutes. That just doesn’t fit for a Wrestlemania main event but thankfully the rematch the next year would get more time and would be MUCH better.

Since Hulk Hogan felt the need to be champion again, he would take the title from Yokozuna a few minutes after this, setting up a rematch at King of the Ring 1993.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan

Yoko is billed as being from the Polynesian Islands despite having a ton of Japanese photographers (remember that) and a guy waving the Japanese flag. Apparently Hogan trimmed down for endurance here. Does that put him at maybe 302 or something I guess? Heenan says that this is a fresh Yokozuna and not one that just had a thirty minute match with Bret Hart.

In other words it’s the same as last time since Yoko vs. Hart was like 9 minutes. Also this is Hogan’s only title defense in two and a half months as champion so there we are. It was fairly HOKEY SMOKE WHO IN THE WORLD IS THAT??? Someone has stolen Hogan’s attire and belt. That guy can’t weigh more than 260. Literally he’s got to be 40-50 pounds lighter than usual.

This is right around the time of the steroids trial, so there we are for an explanation. He’s billed at 302 which is the biggest lie in the history of wrestling. Yes even more than Vince is decent in the ring for a guy with no training. Ross calling a Hogan match just doesn’t work for me for some reason. He says he’ll slam Yoko. That’s just amusing. I can’t get over how small he is.

It’s obvious that he’s going to lose here, but the interesting thing is how that happens. They mention that this arguably should have been Bret vs. Hogan, which it really should have been to give Hart the rub of all rubs that I feel cost Bret’s career. Considering I wrote out a huge thread on this before I’ll spare the details, but the main idea is that Bret never had that big defining win over a guy from the previous generation to make him seem like a legit guy.

It in turn hurt Shawn as Shawn’s bit rub was from Bret, which made Shawn look sort of weak. And think about it: they’re both considered more or less failures as draws and I can’t think of anyone that puts them on Hogan’s level or maybe even that of Savage, and to me this is because they never got that rub. Can you imagine how big of a star Bret would have been if Hogan gave up to the Sharpshooter or even just got pinned?

Even Savage would have been a huge deal. I’ve always thought Hogan didn’t do it because he knew Bret would wrestle circles around him but that’s neither here nor there. The problem to me was simply that Bret didn’t get the rub that he needed and a lot of it can be pointed at Hogan I think, but anyway. Hogan’s chest is flatter than Stacy Keibler’s.

Yoko is dominant for the most part here, with the main idea being that Hogan is just outmatched here by the size and power of Yoko. He hits some offense here and there as I’m somewhat reminded of Hogan vs. Andre, although nowhere near as cool or important. So after about the world’s longest bearhug this side of an Andre match, Hogan starts his comeback but STILL can’t slam him.

He Hulks Up though and actually hits the leg drop, but when it’s time for the adrenaline fueled slam attempt, a Japanese photographer (who may or may not have been Harvey Whippleman) jumps up on the apron to take a closeup of Hogan.

The camera explodes in his face which leads to the belly to belly and leg drop to crush Hulkamania dead. Yoko is the champion and Hogan wouldn’t be seen on WWF TV for almost 9 years. He would go to WCW in about 13 months and change wrestling forever, again. Hogan is taken out here, and Hulkamania is over.

Rating: C-. This really was little more than a squash. Yoko completely dominated here for about ten or eleven minutes out of thirteen. I don’t think they could have built him up any stronger than they did. Like I said, Hogan was gone and it was time for someone new to step up to face Yoko. Now the big question was who.

The man would be Lex Luger, who would fly onto the USS Intrepid and win a body slam challenge against Yokozuna, becoming the new American hero. His shot was at Summerslam 1993.

WWF Title: Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna

Remember, this is Luger’s ONE title shot. It’s a long staredown to start before Lex has to knock Mr. Fuji down. Lex starts pounding away but a single shot from the champion puts him down. Luger comes back with more right hands and down goes Yoko. A big elbow drop gets two for Luger and he avoid one from Yoko. Luger hits a running clothesline in the corner before pounding away on the champion’s head in the corner. Yoko will have none of that though and takes Luger down with a single chop.

Luger gets in some right hands but can’t slam Yoko again. Instead he gets kicked in the face and knocked to the floor with some headbutts. Out to the floor they go with Yoko choking Luger with a mic cord. A splash crushes Luger against the post but Yoko misses a chair shot. They head back inside where Luger hits two ax handle shots off the top and middle rope before a top rope forearm gets a very close two count.

A double clothesline puts both guys down and things slow down even more. Fuji throws in his bucket which Yoko uses to knock Luger out cold but only for two. A big belly to belly suplex and side slam get the same results as the champion is getting frustrated. Off to a nerve hold by the champion which eats up several minutes.

Luger fights up again but gets clotheslined down for two. To show you how impressive he is, Heenan actually compliments Luger. I don’t think I ever remember him cheering for a good guy before. Yokozuna loads up the Banzai Drop but Luger rolls away at the last minute. They fight into the corner again but Yoko misses a charge. Luger slams him down and hits the loaded forearm, knocking the champion out to the floor. Unfortunately for Luger, he also knocked Yokozuna out cold, earning Luger a countout win.

Rating: D+. This was long and slow without being very good. Luger got good reactions though, especially for the slam. It was clear that his character was nothing but warmed over Hogan leftovers but at least the fans hadn’t entirely realized that yet. This wasn’t a terrible match, but it certainly was nothing of note either. The ending wasn’t great but it was necessary to continue the story being told.

Here’s a match you probably haven’t seen before. It’s from a special called Survivor Series Showdown on November 22, 1993.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

There’s an opening match for you. Yoko is defending as I’m guessing this is the end of a TV taping or something. The champion shoves Bret around to start but gets dropkicked out to the floor for his efforts. JR points out the flaw of the USA chant but Gorilla brushes it off. Yoko stays on the floor for about two minutes without being counted out somehow. Back in (finally) and Bret pounds away before throwing on a sleeper.

That goes about as well as you would expect for a small guy trying a sleeper on a monster so the champion takes over again. A knee drop crushes Bret and Yoko rips at his face for a bit. The Canadian is sent to the floor where Fuji gets in a cheap shot with the flag and we take a break. Back with Bret pounding away out of the corner but getting taken down by a cheap shot to the throat.

Off to the nerve hold by the champion which lasts for a good long while. Bret fights up and charges into Yoko for no good reason and bounces out to the floor as you would expect. Yoko follows him out and gets sent into the steps to no effect, so there’s a chair shot to Hart’s back. More chair shots keep Bret down and we take a second break. Back with Yoko hitting the fat man legdrop for no cover.

Yoko misses a big charge in the corner and Bret has his rocking. The Hart Attack clothesline is enough for two but Bret has to deck Fuji before he can follow up. Hart goes up but dives into a bearhug but immediately bites his way out of it. A middle rope bulldog is enough for another two as the fans are WAY into it now.

The middle rope elbow hits but Bret might have hut his knee in the process. The Canadian goes up again but dives into a belly to belly as both guys are down again. The champ misses a splash so Bret hooks the Sharpshooter but Owen walks to ringside for absolutely no apparent reason. Fuji hits Bret with the bucket so Owen runs in and hits Yoko with the same bucket for the DQ.

Rating: B. When you can drag a good match out of the fat man Yoko, you can tell you’ve got something special on your hands. This was a LONG match too, hitting nearly half an hour which was unthinkable for a free TV match back in the day. Owen coming out was foreshadowing the heel turn on Wednesday. Yeah Survivor Series was on Wednesday in 1993.

Soon after this Yokozuna would captain a Survivor Series team called the Foreign Fanatics to face the All Americans at Survivor Series 1993.

Foreign Fanatics vs. All Americans

Yokozuna, Crush, Ludvig Borga, Jacques
Lex Luger, Undertaker, Steiner Brothers

The Quebecers are the tag champions and have Johnny Raven Polo as their manager. Yoko is world champion. Jacques and Scott start things off and Jacques offers a handshake. Scott says screw you in classic Freakzilla style. Scott hits a quick belly to belly for two and it’s off to Rick. Jacques brings in Yoko and things slow down almost immediately. Rick hits a clothesline and a shoulder to knock Yoko out to the floor but it doesn’t do much good.

Off to Borga who died in the last year or so. Rick gets knocked to the floor but comes back in off the top with a shoulder for no cover. Borga misses an elbow and Rick goes up again, coming off with a cross body. Borga rolls through it and Rick isn’t moving at all, giving Borga an easy pin. Rick finally starts moving and holds his leg, so I’m thinking that’s a legit injury. Rick can’t stand up on the floor.

Scott comes in next and gets to fight Jacques. Rick eventually limps off on his own power which is a good sign at least. Scott hits a great gorilla press but Crush catches a falling Jacques and I guess that’s a tag. Steiner wants nothing to do with a test of strength so Crush pounds on him a bit. A butterfly powerbomb puts Crush down and apparently Savage is back in the building. Crush kicks Scott down and here’s Macho.

Crush throws Scott down to the floor over the top but he won’t go after Savage. Randy gets sent to the back and the dull match continues as Scott may have hurt his knee on that fall. The knee gets targeted now with Crush firing away some kicks and Savage is coming back AGAIN. Scott dropkicks Crush to the floor and Crush goes after Savage for long enough to draw a countout.

Jacques goes after the injured Scott now with a rear chinlock followed by an elbow to the jaw for two. Scott somehow hits a gorilla press on Jacques and there’s the tag to Lex. He slams Jacques down and drops a middle rope elbow for the elimination. It’s now Lex, Taker and Scott vs. Borga and Yoko. Borga comes in to face the still limping Scott. Taker hasn’t been in the match yet.

Borga pounds on the ribs and whips Scott in the corner so he can clothesline Steiner down. Borga goes up top but gets suplexed back down for two. Yoko comes in and pounds away, but Scott gets in some offense. He tries the freaking Frankensteiner which goes about as well as you would expect it to, resulting in a legdrop from Yoko eliminating Scott to get us down to two on two.

Luger comes in as we’re almost 20 minutes in with no Taker at all yet. Borga, a Finn, waves the Japanese flag. Yoko misses a splash and Lex pounds away, only to get clotheslined down with ease. Off to Borga who runs Luger over again and kicks him in the ribs. Back to Yoko who misses a charge, and it’s FINALLY off to Taker.

Taker hits his running DDT and sits up but a Borga distraction lets Yoko suplex Taker down. There’s the situp and another after a clothesline. A legdrop keeps Taker down and there’s the Banzai, but Yoko goes for another, and Taker moves. A clothesline puts Yoko on the floor and they brawl to a double countout. See you at the Rumble boys. Taker was legally in the match for less than two minutes and forty seconds.

So it’s Lex vs. Borga now and as Taker and Yoko brawl on the floor. Ludvig has taken over and drops a leg on Lex. A side slam puts Lex down for two and Borga gets more two’s off various other power moves. He isn’t covering well though so he isn’t ready to pin Luger yet. A suplex puts Borga down and they clothesline each other. With Cornette distracting the referee, Borga hits Lex with Fuji’s salt bucket for two. Lex gets fired up and hits a powerslam and the loaded forearm for the final pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work either. Taker was the main draw of the match and he wasn’t even in there for a tenth of the match. Yoko vs. Taker would go on to screw up two PPVs and Lex would never get the title, basically making the second half of 1993 totally pointless. This match didn’t work at all, and a lot of that is due to the heel lineup. Unless there was an injury or something, I don’t get why Pierre was taken out.

As I’m sure you can guess, this led to Yokozuna vs. the Undertaker at the 1994 Royal Rumble. This is one of those things that had to be seen to be believed.

WWF World Title: The Undertaker vs. Yokozuna

Casket match. They stare each other down to start and Taker fires off his uppercuts to stagger the champion. A clothesline puts Yoko down and another uppercut puts Yoko on the floor. Taker is sent into the steps and it’s immediately no sold, scaring Yoko to death again. There’s Old School but the jumping clothesline misses as Yoko ducks. Why does no one else ever think of doing that?

They fight over a chair on the floor which winds up going upside Yoko’s head. There’s a plastic chair to the back of the champion but Yoko grabs the trusty salt to blind Taker. Now it’s Taker’s back getting hit with the chair and we head back inside. A clothesline puts Taker down but he fights out of the casket. Taker wins a slugout in the middle of the ring but Yoko belly to belly suplexes him down. Come on. You know that’s not holding him down. Taker pops up and grabs Yoko by the throat and hits a DDT to put the champion down again.

Yoko is placed in the casket but here’s Crush to block Taker from closing it. Taker slugs him down so here’s Great Kabuki and Tenryu but Taker beats them down as well. Yoko is still out cold in the casket. Bam Bam Bigelow comes in now and it’s 4-1 in the ring. One has to wonder why Paul Bearer doesn’t go over and close the casket but this match doesn’t seem to be the most logical one. Fuji and Cornette have stolen the Urn.

Yoko finally gets out of the casket as Bearer beats up Fuji and Cornette, stealing the Urn back. He uses it to recharge Taker, who fights off all four mercenaries. Now it’s Adam Bomb to make it technically 8-1 but Taker fights everyone off with the salt bucket. Jeff Jarrett comes in as well, as do the Headshrinkers. That makes it NINE wrestlers (Yoko, Crush, Kabuki, Tenryu, Bigelow, Jarrett, Samu, Fatu, Adam Bomb) against Undertaker.

AND HE GETS UP. Diesel comes out and they get Taker in the coffin but he fights ALL OF THEM OFF. Yoko steals the Urn and hits Taker in the head with it before opening the Urn. Green smoke comes out of it and Taker now is powerless. Everyone hits a bunch of moves on him as this goes on WAY too long. After ALL THAT, Taker is put in the coffin and Yoko retains the title.

Rating: F. On a major wrestling show, The Undertaker just fought off ten men until green smoke was released to drain him of his power. I’ve seen Japanese anime that makes more sense than this. Oh and the match itself, as in the one on one part, might have gone about six minutes.

BUT IT GETS WORSE!

The heels all push the coffin away when a gong goes off. Smoke comes out of the casket…..and a FREAKING CAMERA FEED FROM INSIDE THE CASKET POPS UP ON THE SCREEN. Taker says his soul lives in everyone and he can’t be extinguished. He says there’s going to be a rebirth of the Undertaker and he won’t rest in peace. Then electrical noises go off and we get something like an inverse camera shot (as in it’s all in black and white but what is white is black and what is black is white).

Then, to REALLY hammer home the point, the image on the screen starts to rise up through the top of the screen (which should be the top of the casket, meaning it should be ramming into the people that put him in the freaking casket) and A FREAKING BODY RISES OUT OF THE TOP OF THE SCREEN. AS IN A TANGIBLE BODY (which might have been played by Marty Jannetty).

In other words, WWF just said Taker is something like Jesus. Oh and one other thing to really make sure this is stupid: YOU CAN’T SEE IT. All I can see are some quick shots of it when flashes go off. This is one of those things that embarrasses me as a wrestling fan. I mean…..WOW.

Yokozuna would be champion going into Wrestlemania X where he potentially had to wrestle twice, defending the title against Lex Luger first and then Bret Hart if he was successful.

WWF World Title: Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna

Yoko is defending of course and there’s also backstory to this. The idea here is that last 4th of July, Yokozuna held a bodyslam challenge on board the U.S.S. Intrepid. No one could slam him and the contest was closed, but a helicopter landed on the ship and out stepped Lex Luger. He hit a running forearm and slammed Yokozuna to get the biggest face turn in years. He then went around the country on a bus, begging for a title shot because he was MADE IN THE USA.

Anyway, he got the shot at Summerslam with the catch that it was his ONLY shot. Luger did indeed beat Yoko….by countout. Therefore he was frozen out of the title picture, unless he could win the Royal Rumble. We’ve already covered that though so here’s the first title match. Luger gets a bit intro with fireworks, but do you really think New York City is going to cheer him? Especially with BRET HART in the wings? You should know better than that.

Luger pounds away like any AMERICAN hero worth his (certainly not Japanese) salt. A big right hand sends Yoko out to the floor and there’s an ax handle to the back of the head. Luger busts out a freaking TOP ROPE CROSS BODY for two and a jumping elbow for the same. Since it’s early in the match, a slam completely fails and Yoko falls on top for two. Yoko rips a buckle pad off but we hit the nerve hold for a bit instead. Luger fights out of it but Yoko rams into him to stop any comeback.

Back to el nerve hold which has been running for about five minutes total now. Luger fights up but Fuji pulls the rope down to send him to the outside. Back in and BACK TO THE NERVE HOLD. After about 87 years Luger fights up and makes his comeback….only to be knocked down by a chop. Yoko tries to send Luger into Chekov’s buckle but gets sent into it himself of course.

Luger makes his REAL comeback and hits a clothesline to put Yoko down and there’s the “slam” (more like he picked up Yoko and dropped him). The forearm knocks Yoko out but Luger has to beat up Fuji and Cornette. Perfect won’t count so Luger shoves him…AND THAT’S A DQ! Holy screwjob! That’s clearly what the fans are chanting: screwjob, not some other word that starts with s and often comes after holy.

Rating: D+. It’s rare to see Luger as the star of a match but that’s certainly the case here. That nerve hold was RIDICULOUS as it was about 80% of the champion’s “offense”, although a case can be made that he was saving strength for later tonight which is understandable. This was a callback to something that most people didn’t remember, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t fair game. Unfortunately Perfect would injure his back again after this and not be able to payoff this feud. Either way, Luger is officially a choker in the WWF and was done as a world title contender after this.

And the second match on the show.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Yoko is defending if you can’t tell. Burt is barely able to read lines off a card. Hart is STILL selling the leg from earlier, because that’s how awesome he is. Yoko jumps Bret to start and the fans are already fired up for this. Bret tries to fire back with some punches but Yoko stomps him down. Piper and Cornette get in an argument as Yoko blasts Hart. The splash misses though and Bret pounds away, only to hurt his head on a headbutt.

Hart actually manages to punch Yoko down and gets two off an ax handle to the back. The champion comes back with fat man offense and drops the big leg for two. A headbutt puts Bret on the floor but he gets back in at eight. Yoko misses a charge in the corner and there’s a bulldog out of the corner to put the big man down. That only gets two though, as does the middle rope elbow. Bret keeps limping and hits the Hart Attack clothesline for a delayed two.

The belly to belly puts Bret down but Yoko won’t cover for no apparent reason. Instead he loads up the Banzai Drop, only to fall victim to the powers of gravity. It knocks the wind out of the monster, allowing Hart to hook the leg for the pin and the title as the roof is blown off of Madison Square Garden for about the fifth time tonight.

Rating: B-. While it isn’t a classic, the fans were WAY into this and it’s a feel good moment to end the show. Bret was fighting a very different kind of match here rather than he did the previous year, as here he was taking it straight to Yoko instead of sticking and moving. Very solid match here all things considered and a great way to get the giant out of the title scene.

After he lost the title, Yokozuna had someone coming back for revenge. Here’s the casket rematch from Survivor Series 1994 with CHUCK NORRIS as guest enforcer referee.

Yokozuna vs. Undertaker

This is a casket match where you have to throw your opponent in the casket and close it to win. Druids bring out the casket of course. Yoko is so fat here it’s unreal. Taker does the throat slit from across the ring and Yoko falls down. A Yoko splash in the corner is no sold but the fat man stops before he gets thrown to the casket. Yoko winds up on top of the casket to further freak him out.

They fight to the floor with Taker in control. Back inside Old School staggers Yoko but he catches Taker in a Samoan Drop. Taker doesn’t sell it but the move did hit. A headbutt puts Taker down but he won’t go in the casket. Back in and Taker misses an elbow but sits up anyway. A Rock Bottom puts Taker down and Yoko drops a leg while he’s sitting up to keep the dead man (as in Undertaker, not the legitimately dead Yokozuna) down.

Taker gets put in the casket but he blocks it from being closed. They both wind up in the box and slug it out but Mr. Fuji pulls Taker’s hair to break things up. Cornette (Yoko’s other manager) gets drilled as well and we head back inside. Yoko sends him back to the floor and rams him into the steps (from inside the ring, which is kind of impressive). Back inside and they slug it out with Taker slamming Yoko’s head into the mat.

Taker channels his inner Kane and hits a top rope clothesline to put Yokozuna down. As he’s rolling the fat man over, here’s King Kong Bundy to glare at Norris. Bigelow comes out as well but nothing comes of it. Nothing comes of it on their end at least as IRS comes in and beats up Undertaker, which would also set up the Undertaker vs. DiBiase’s Corporation feud for 1995. Taker gets put in the casket but by the time Yoko gets there, Taker blocks the lid from closing. Jeff Jarrett comes out to challenge Norris and gets kicked in the chest. Taker hits a DDT and a big boot to send Yokozuna into the casket for the win.

Rating: D. This was really dull stuff and the ending was never in doubt. Once Yokozuna got this fat he was just worthless. This was the last we would see of him until Wrestlemania where he came back EVEN BIGGER. Norris didn’t really add much here but the fans liked him and that’s all that really matters. Thankfully this feud ended here.

We’ll wrap it up with one of Yokozuna’s last successful performances. From Wrestlemania XI.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/??? vs. Smoking Gunns

Owen introduces Yokozuna as his mystery partner. The Gunns are defending here and say they’ll win. Owen and Billy start things off with Hart trying to speed things up. That goes badly for him as Billy slaps him in the face and brings in Bart to work on the arm. Owen fights back though and brings in Yoko who misses an elbow drop. Back to Owen as we’re firmly in the Colossal Connection formula (Owen does the wrestling, Yoko comes in for a few seconds to destroy whoever he’s fighting).

The Gunns hit a double legsweep on Hart and a double flapjack gets two. Owen finally escapes a backdrop attempt and brings in Yoko. Billy gets taken down and sat on, giving the foreigners control. Off to a nerve hold which hopefully doesn’t last as long as the ones last year did. After we kill a minute or so in the hold, Owen loads up a missile dropkick but hits his partner by mistake. There’s the hot tag to Bart and house is cleaned, but Billy walks into a belly to belly suplex. The Banzai Drop hits but Bart breaks up the pin. Not that it really matters though as Owen covers Billy for the pin and the title, Owen’s first in the company.

Rating: C-. Another decent but lackluster match here which is the theme of this show. The Gunns losing was definitely the right call as Owen and Yoko made for dominant champions for several months. Other than that though, the match was boring stuff overall. Owen finally getting a title was a good moment though.

Yokozuna would be in the WWF for about a year and a half more but became more of a freak show than a serious competitor. He was just so heavy by the end and there was no way to use him. Unfortunately he would die in 2000 of a heart attack at the age of 34. If he had been able to control his weight he could have still been active until a few years ago. It’s a shame too as the guy was so quick and so dominant as a monster and could have been a far bigger deal than he was, which wasn’t bad as he main evented back to back Wrestlemanias, which was a first for a heel. He was also the first to win and retain the World Title at the biggest show of the year, which is quite the accomplishment.

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This one is slightly out of date, but it still works for me.

I know this sounds a bit pretentious, but after having gone I can’t help but feel more attached to the show. The video speaks for itself.

Today is Lance Storm. And I’m being totally serious.

Storm got started in Canada and went over to Japan for Wrestling Association R. This led to him getting a job in Smoky Mountain Wrestling as part of the Thrillseekers with his fellow wrestling school graduate Chris Jericho. This is a well known match of theirs from SMW Night of Legends 1994.

Heavenly Bodies vs. Thrillseekers

The Bodies (Jimmy Del Ray and Tom Pritchard) have Jim Cornette with them and Jericho is coming in with a badly broken arm as well. How did he break it you ask? Allegedly by doing a shooting star press into Jim Cornette’s pool. What else would you expect? The Thrillseekers seemingly come in driving a racecar, but the car is a ruse and they’re in the ring to clean house early on. Stereo superkicks have the Bodies in trouble and a double clothesline put them on the floor. Storm dives on both Bodies and the Thrillseekers rule the ring. Jericho’s arm isn’t in a cast so that he could be cleared to wrestle tonight.

He backdrops Tom down to officially start and Del Ray takes one as well. The Bodies bail to the outside again and it’s off to Storm for the first time. Lance kicks both Bodies down with ease and they head outside for the third time in less than five minutes. Tom comes in and takes Storm down before Del Ray comes in without a tag. That’s fine with Storm as he armdrags both guys down at the same time before Jericho comes back in for another double superkick, putting the Bodies outside yet again.

Back in and Storm tries to fight off both guys but gets tripped up by Del Ray, allowing Pritchard to take over with a bulldog. Tom backflips Jimmy onto Storm for two and a release northern lights suplex puts him down again. Del Ray lifts Pritchard up into a legdrop as we take a commercial break. Back with Storm’s back being double teamed and Del Ray getting two off a clothesline. Pritchard comes in again with a suplex for two of his own.

Tom tries to drop backwards with an elbow but Storm is out of the way and makes the hot tag to Jericho. Chris cleans house with one arm but Pritchard trips him up from the floor and posts him hard. Jericho is busted open and it’s a GUSHER. There’s a pool of blood on the floor less than 20 seconds later so Tom posts him again.

Back in and Jimmy rips at the cut like a good villain should and even Cornette gets in a shot of his own. Jericho is helpless here and the referee is thinking about stopping it. Del Ray pounds in right hands to the cut but can only get two. Pritchard drives a knee into the cut for two more as Jericho is just covered in blood. The referee (covered in blood as well from checking Jericho) finally stops it but Jericho literally begs to keep it going. For once the referee actually listens and the match restarts and Storm hits a quick spinwheel kick to give Jericho the pin.

Rating: B+. The wrestling was good but a lot of this is for the blood. That was AWESOME and one of the worst looking cuts you’ll ever see. Jericho looked like a star here and in what was kind of a stroke of luck, would leave SMW after this match to go to Japan full time. It’s a great way to go out as well as he looked great. This is one of the more famous matches from SMW and it’s easy to see why as that blood was INSANE. Seriously, if you like bloodshed, go find this match.

After some time in Japan it was off to ECW. One of his first major shows there was their first pay per view, Barely Legal. His original opponent was Chris Candido but an injury forced a replacement.

Rob Van Dam vs. Lance Storm

So Van Dam is the replacement? That’s a heck of a sub. He looks weird without his gloves on. Styles is really getting on my nerves. You don’t have to call every single move. This is television, not radio. We can see what’s going on and contrary to popular belief, some of us know a few wrestling move names. The dynamic here is completely different that it was before and maybe it’s due to the familiarity of the guys in there but this feels like a far higher quality match.

The finger point thing gets zero response. And now we get to the reason why I couldn’t get into ECW. We have a solid match going here between two guys that are certainly talented enough to be out there on their own and deliver a good match. So what does Van Dam do? He goes and gets a chair. Yeah the pelting of it at Storm looked and sounded great, but seriously, why was it needed?

One thing ECW never was able to understand was the idea of less being more at times, which would have certainly been the case here. Van Dam is called a sell out here as he was actually doing some stuff in the WWF around this time and if you’re in ECW that means you might as well be a demon or something. Ok I know I criticized the chair but the chair surf thing has always been something I’ve loved.

Storm kicks out of the frog splash that I guess was only four stars. I love how a move can gain the ability to win a match as the guy doing it goes higher up on the card. Shawn Michaels used the superkick for years and it was just a run of the mill move. God bless kayfabe and star power I suppose. In a little sequence that I like, Van Dam misses a spin kick so Storm does the same move and hits it.

I guess he got serious all of a sudden after getting his teeth kicked in for awhile. For the third time in two matches, we see a handspring move. People, watch the match in the back please. It looks freaking stupid otherwise. We do the same thing as before (again) as Storm gets what would become the Canadian Mapleleaf on Van Dam but it’s just a standard move at this point.

The Van Daminator misses and Storm gets the chair for the weakest looking chair shot I’ve ever seen. The fans boo the heck out of it so if nothing else they’re consistent. Van Dam goes for a springboard move and botches the heck out of it (to be fair it was a difficult move) and you know what chant is coming. Storm somehow has a weaker chair shot the second time around.

Naturally this gets more booing, and the wrestling fan in me is shaking his head. Is it really that bad of a thing that Storm is a very good wrestler and doesn’t want to use weapons? Seriously, it’s not the end of the world. That right there is why it never appealed to the masses. Can you imagine someone that grew up on Flair and Anderson being sold on this? Anyway, the Van Daminator and a standing moonsault end this.

Rating: B-. If not for the completely unneeded chair, this would be a much higher rating. These two had a very solid match and it worked very well I thought. It was completely different from the first match and made me have a much better feeling about the show. The first match was a highlight reel match, but there was a flow here, although the ending could have been far better.

Storm would become a heel and join the Triple Threat stable as a prospect. This led to him winning the Tag Team Titles with full member Chris Candido, even though they loathed each other. Here’s a match between them while they were still champions at Cyberslam 1998.

Lance Storm vs. Chris Candido

They’re tag champions and they HATE each other. For no apparent reason Candido does a full entrance here. All Storm to start and a baseball slide puts Chris in the fans. Big plancha takes Candido out further. DOWN GOES SIGN GUY!!! The fans of course like Sunny more than anyone else and can you blame them? Candido fires off some chops to get some WOOs going.

Storm misses Candido and almost hits his face on the buckle. Close enough I guess as he sells it anyway. Delayed vertical is countered but Candido gets a neckbreaker for no cover. He’d rather pose a bit instead. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long. Storm tries to make his comeback but gets caught in a release powerslam. Storm comes back with chops as there are fans dressed as Bigelow and Sabu.

Big spinwheel kick puts Chris down again as does a dropkick which gets two. Storm misses a jump though and gets crotched on the top. Belly to back superplex gets two for Candido. Northern lights suplex gets two. Powerbomb doesn’t work and Storm gets a kick to take over. Candido fires off a super rana but he delays in covering again so it’s only two. They go the top again and Storm fights back and hits the Blonde Bombshell (top rope powerbomb and Candido’s finisher) for the pin.

Rating: C. Eh not bad and WAY better than anything else tonight, but just kind of there. These two feuded forever and had much better matches but this was ok. I’d rather have just looked at Sunny for the ten minutes they had for the match though. Not much and the whole Candido/Sunny issues went nowhere.

And a title defense from Wrestlepalooza 1998.

ECW Tag Titles: Hardcore Chair Swinging Freaks vs. Chris Candido/Lance Storm

They still hate each other and even though they don’t get along and fight each other, they manage to beat every team in the company as they do it. Don’t you just love Heyman’s brilliance? Mind you the challengers were in the arena to make their challenge yet the champions are here first. In a funny spot, they argue over who gets top billing. Oh I get it now: the champions came to the ring and were introduced before they actually accepted the challenge. Is Heyman even thinking?

The Freaks are Axl Rotten and Balls Mahoney in case you were wondering. To my surprise we start with a wrestling sequence. Something tells me this isn’t going to last long. Good night Balls Mahoney is worthless. Rotten is trying to wrestle which works ok but it’s hard to take a guy who wrestles for a team called the Hardcore Chair Swingin Freaks seriously. They do a standard tag match here and it’s really not that bad. I’m very surprised. Rotten throws chops and the fans WOO.

They start a BRING IN FLAIR chant and my head begins to hurt. First off, just no. Second off, isn’t that exactly what ECW is supposed to be against? Third of all, I love how they just assume Heyman can afford that. The fans were stupid at times and were dragged around by Heyman by their noses. It’s really pathetic at times. Sunny shows up and the champions fight over Storm saving her. “Hey! You keep your hands off my fiancé! If she dies who cares??? YOU JUST STAY AWAY!”

And now we get to the flat out stupid part of the match. Balls hits his finisher. There’s no one around. They should win the titles. He goes to get a chair. That’s almost understandable I guess. Now let’s have the stupid part. He turns around with the chair in his hand and Storm jumps up with a springboard to come at Mahoney.

What does he do you ask? Does he throw the chair at Storm? Does he, oh I don’t know, MOVE? Nope. He puts the chair in front of his face so Storm can kick it into Balls’ head. That was just pathetic looking. On and Candido hits Storm with the chair so he can get the pin and they fight back to the locker room. This has NEVER been done before!

Rating: C+. Other than the freaking idiotic stuff at the end, this was ok. The key thing: for the most part they kept things toned down and had a wrestling match. Since Barely Legal they’ve toned the violence down a good bit and it’s been helping a lot. This was ok and would have been a lot better had the ending not sucked as much.

After the team finally split up, Storm would eventually hook up with Justin Credible as the Impact Players. They would challenge Tommy Dreamer and Raven for the Tag Team Titles at Guilty As Charged 2000.

Tag Titles: Impact Players vs. Raven/Tommy Dreamer

The Players come out separately for no apparent reason. To be fair the champions do too. Apparently the Impact Players are trying to take over the company so Dreamer and Raven are fighting for ECW. Sure why not. Raven is RIDICULOUSLY over. They can’t get in the ring as the Impact Players (I feel like I’m doing OCW again) fight them off. We hit the floor because that makes sense to give up your advantage like that.

The champions throw the other guys off the stage as they’re working together. Hey we go to an actual tag sequence. I’m stunned. Ok to be fair ECW matches usually do go to rules after the insanity dies down. Dreamer is both busted up and in trouble as we HIT THE CHINLOCK! It’s fun seeing these guys actually wrestle for a change rather than just having mindless brawls.

If nothing else we get to look at some rather hot women during this with Francine and Dawn Marie. Storm misses the second best superkick in wrestling and Dreamer gets the hot tag. Well kind of as he hits the hand but no one calls it. The referee realizes they kind of blew the spot and just lets it go I guess. Raven hits his drop toehold. I’ve always liked how simple yet awesome that was.

And there’s the Tombstone but surprisingly it only gets two. I would have bet on that being the ending. Storm sets up a table and then like an IDIOT stands in front of it. As he goes through it, the only thing I can think of is YOU FREAKING DESERVE IT. The girls go at it and it’s nothing special. There’s your Bronco Buster which still is freaking stupid. Raven takes a Singapore cane shot for Francine but walks into That’s Incredible for the pin.

Rating: C-. Give this more wrestling and a bit more time and this can be pretty good. This was just too short on wrestling and too little Raven who is the best guy in here not named Storm. This was a decent enough match though but it just needed more time to make it a good bit better.

Like almost all good teams though, they would eventually split. Credible would win the World Title and Storm would challenge him at Hardcore Heaven 2000. It was supposed to have Tommy Dreamer as well but he was too injured stepped aside.

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Lance Storm

So basically Dreamer is busted up like a bad steak but is going to fight anyway. Francine turned on Dreamer and cost him the title at Cyberslam which was the show where Dreamer won the title from Taz in the first place. Justin says that if anyone other than Storm comes out he’ll throw the belt in the trash. Why not it’s not like it means anything. Dreamer’s music hits and here he is.

You know for a guy that was allegedly bleeding to death about two and a half hours ago he looks pretty good. Heyman comes out to talk some sense into him and here’s Storm and Dawn Marie. Ok so it’s just one on one and Dreamer gets the winner at Heatwave. What the heck ever. Let’s just ever this over with. Heyman keeps screaming that Justin has the company by the balls. That’s 8 times he’s said it now.

Dreamer shakes Lance’s hand, which is good since I think this is Lance’s last night as he left for WCW since he never got paid or anything like that. I actually remember this match which is a rarity for me and the original ECW. Storm hits him, Justin runs. Then we do that about 5 more times. Hey we’re getting some contact that lasts more than a second! Ah never mind he’s running again.

The cane comes into play and down goes Storm. Storm appears to be bleeding. Hey look it’s a table, because we’ve only used those in like 5 matches so far tonight. We chop it out for a bit and that goes nowhere. The fans want Dreamer. Psh, why would you want him? He’s only an advertised main event contender here. Why would you want him? Storm hits a decent rana.

This guy is just flat out talented. Joey talks about how they managed to keep Credible from destroying the ECW Title’s lineage. Yeah I’m sure the whole WCW wrestler losing to a WWF wrestler in an ECW ring and then the ECW Title being on Raw and Smackdown didn’t do anything close to that. Superkick (see what I meant earlier?) by Credible gets two.

Credible actually hits a decent cross body off the top, showing he can actually do a basic move properly. This is a major step for him I tell you! He then goes through a table, because that’s just how we roll around here. Storm hooks his finisher, the single leg Boston crab and it’s catfight time. Was there ever a point to these things? Dawn takes a Tombstone and nothing of note is happening.

Tombstone on Storm of course gets two. And now we just slug it out. Credible goes for a swinging DDT which he of course, messes up. The second tombstone ends it and it was just completely uninteresting as it just happened for the pin. And here’s Dreamer to beat up both Credible and Francine. Ok then.

Rating: D+. This just felt like another match. This would have been great on a big TV show or something like that, but this just didn’t do it for me. It’s ok, but for one thing does anyone buy Justin as world champion? I never did, and I didn’t buy Storm as a legitimate challenger. This just went nowhere at all and the ending was pretty boring too. Weak ending.

Due to Heyman barely being able to pay anyone, it was soon off to WCW. Storm would immediately be given a big push where he would win three midcard titles in his first month. Here’s US Champion Storm vs. Hardcore Champion Big Vito from July 24, 2000 on Nitro.

US Title/Hardcore Title: Big Vito vs. Lance Storm

Storm jumps him to start but gets slammed down as well as clotheslined. Vito pounds him into the corner but Storm comes back with a leg lariat to take over. That gets him nowhere as Vito pounds him into the corner and pulls out some weapons. A traffic cone is knocked into Storm’s testicles and it’s table time.

Vito takes too long though and Storm superplexes him down. An O’Connor Roll gets two for Storm as does a small package. Vito snaps off an overhead belly to belly suplex but the top rope elbow only gets two. An Impaler puts Storm down for another two and they trade superkicks. Storm throws on the Mapleleaf (half crab) and wins the Hardcore Title.

Rating: D+. This was part of the Storm super push where he won three titles in three weeks and just barely lost the world title match in the fourth week. Vito was a journeyman who did about the same thing no matter where he went. This was decent enough, but I’m not sure why you would open a show with it.

Storm would form Team Canada as a midcard stable. They would feud with the Filthy Animals and face them in a six man tag at Sin.

Team Canada vs. Filthy Animals

Team Canada is Elix Skipper, Mike Awesome (Yes he made a heel turn since the last show) and Lance Storm. The Animals are Konnan, Mysterio and Kidman. This is a Penalty Box match where the guest referee, Jim Duggan, can throw the people in a penalty box if they break a rule. The Canadians come out in a bus for no apparent reason. Oh and Duggan isn’t part of Team Canada anymore, I guess due to the beatdown last month.

Storm talks about Duggan being in the Animals’ back pocket which doesn’t sit well with the Hall of Famer. There’s no time limit given on the penalties so it’s a bit complicated. Duggan looks old. This is an old WCCW stronghold so you can tell they’re running out of ideas. Storm vs. Mysterio to start. Rey starts out flying around as it’s weird to see Storm being the bigger and stronger of the two.

Skipper and Awesome interfere a bit and are sent to the box almost immediately. Apparently it’s 3-1 for one minute. Tony makes a bunch of hockey references which most American fans won’t care about. Konnan powerbombs Rey onto Storm as the box is emptied out. Good thing the advantage meant nothing at all. Rey gets a falling splash and it’s off to Kidman.

Kidman vs. Skipper now as Awesome is sent into the box again. Make that Storm as well. Why do I have a feeling that this is going to be the norm for this match? Konnan throws on some hold as they keep tagging in and out. The announcers are making it sound like the only chance the Animals have is when the Canadians are in the box. Back to full strength as Skipper easily out moves Konnan.

Matrix move is easily blocked by simply grabbing a reverse DDT out of it. The Canadians don’t like to tag for some reason. Off to Awesome and I’ll bet money on Storm and Skipper being sent to the box within a minute. Backbreaker gets two for Awesome. Major Gunns and Tygress argue on the floor and Duggan yells at them. Rey tries to cheat but is sent to the box for two minutes as is Kidman.

Powerslam by Awesome gets two. Tygress sprays Gunns with water or oil or something and they go at it. Only Gunns goes to the box though. Ah there goes Tygress too. Skipper drops a springboard leg drop on Konnan as we hit the chinlock. Yes because with a 3-1 advantage it’s the right idea to put a chinlock on. Awesome comes off the top with a clothesline as he comes in.

The box empties out as this is getting rather stupid. Off to Storm who walks into an X-Factor but Konnan is spent from doing two moves so he takes a little nap. Off to Kidman who comes in on fire. Well not literally but you get the concept. We hit the floor and everything breaks down.

Awesome has scissors and tries to give Kidman a haircut for no apparent reason and is sent to the box. Bronco Buster to Storm from both Rey and Tygress. She goes to the box as Storm gets a forearm to Rey, only to get caught in the ropes and hit by a leg drop. Off to Kidman who gets the Unprettier for two. The box empties though and Awesome hits an Awesome Bomb to Rey as Storm puts the Maple Leaf on Kidman for the tap out.

Rating: D+. Total and complete mess here with the rules seemingly added on for the sake of adding rules on. It didn’t help the match or anything but they did it anyway. Not much of a match as it was just a six man with extended faces/heels in peril spots. This feud went on more or less until the end of the company.

Here’s one more WCW match, from the final Nitro for the Tag Team Titles.

Tag Titles: Lance Storm/Mike Awesome vs. Chuck Palumbo/Sean O’Haire

The more famous guys are challenging. Team Canada won a non-title match last week to get this. See, why is logic like that so complicated? That’s a basic story and it gives perfect justification as to why we are where we are here. After a quick break, Vince is with Trish again and Cole interrupts them. He says a bunch of WCW related people are worried and Vince threatens to fire Cole. PLEASE DO IT VINCE!

Storm of course starts with technical stuff. Tony almost says World Tag Titles but has to shift to WCW Tag Titles. Slingshot splash by Awesome for two. Hot tag to O’Haire and he beats the crap out of Awesome, hitting his weird reverse Samoan Drop. I could watch Lance Storm throw superkicks all day. Palumbo hits his Jungle (super) kick and the Shawnton Bomb ends it.

Rating: C-. I always liked all four of these guys so I was a fan of this feud. The match of course was really short so it’s kind of hard to grade, but at the same time this was ok I guess. It put the champions over and didn’t give us a title change for the sake of a title change, so I can’t really complain about that at all. Decent match but again nothing great at all.

It was soon off to the WWF in the Invasion. Storm would be the first WCW name to appear on WWF programming in a run-in at Raw in Calgary. A few weeks later he was challenging for the Intercontinental Title.

Intercontinental Title: Lance Storm vs. Albert

Albert rams him into the corner to start and Lance is in trouble. Storm sends him to the floor but his plancha is caught in a slam. Albert is rammed into the post and Storm takes over. Back in Albert military presses Storm and follows with a splash for two. Bicycle kick looks to set up the Baldo Bomb but Mike Awesome gets the referee. That allows Hugh Morrus to hit Albert with the belt. A superkick gives Storm the title in a short match. Storm got a BIG pop for winning the title.

We’ll jump ahead nearly a year to Vengeance 2002. Storm is part of the Un-Americans with Christian and is challenging the new Tag Team Champions Edge and….Hulk Hogan?

Tag Titles: Lance Storm/Christian vs. Hulk Hogan/Edge

This isn’t going to be fun is it? I think the tag titles went on both brands at the time but I’m not sure. Yeah they did. Ross then explains that Toronto is in Canada. Ok then. It’s also the Hendrix music for Hogan. Yes let’s pay a commercial artist for music when WE OWN THE MOST FAMOUS SONG IN WRESTLING HISTORY! He follows that up by TWICE, yes TWICE saying that Hogan fought Warrior at Mania 3. WOW.

I knew that when I was 4 years old. Hogan vs. Christian starts. That’s a weird thing to see: Hogan fighting a guy that’s young and talented that hasn’t been elevated up yet. Dang how out of place does Hogan look here? If you get another talented guy in there, you could have a pretty interesting tag match. Or like this: Edge vs. Lance Storm. That sounds perfectly entertaining. This however, just isn’t interesting. Also, within about two months, Hogan has won the tag and world titles.

He’s like what, 50 at this point? Is there a reason to give him such title runs here? I can almost guarantee you that Edge will get pinned here if they lose the belts. Naturally Edge is the one getting beaten down. Hogan comes in and Christian goes for that diving reverse DDT of his. Hogan botches the HECK out of it. You know, because it’s such a hard move to take isn’t it? Leg drop to Christian but Storm makes the save.

Hogan doesn’t take the superkick from Storm right either. Edge comes in to clean house while Hogan looks for a pudding pack or something. And there goes the referee. Test runs down to beat up Hogan and Edge. Storm covers Edge for only two. Wow that surprised me. Rikishi of all people comes down to beat up Test. Sure why not?

Christian distracts the referee and JERICHO comes out to nail Edge with a title belt for the ending. Wow it only took four guys to get the belt off of Hogan and he didn’t even get pinned. That might be a new record low for Hogan. Naturally, this title that Hogan was so proud of was never mentioned again and he never went after it again.

Rating: D. Just bad and Hogan looked awful out there. Four guys to get the title off of Hogan. He botches a ton of spots, and he doesn’t even let Storm or Christian get to say they pinned Hogan. Yeah, this is definitely about the young guys. Can’t you see that? Brother?

Another jump ahead, but this one is only about nine months. He’s in yet another tag team, this time with Chief Morely (Val Venis). This is the match that was cut off of Wrestlemania XIX for the Miller Lite Catfight Girls.

Raw Tag Titles: Kane/Rob Van Dam vs. Lance Storm/Chief Morely

The Dudleys are in champions’ corner for no apparent reason. Kane shove Storm to the floor to start and Van Dam kicks Morely’s head off. Van Dam hits a nice flip dive to take out the champions and Kane adds a plancha of his own to pop the crowd. We take a break and come back with the champions in control of Van Dam and Morely grabs a sleeper. Van Dam counters into one of his own but gets caught in a Blue Thunder Bomb.

Rob avoids a splash and makes the tag off to Kane who cleans house with a tilt-a-whirl slam for two on Storm. There’s the top rope clothesline for two more as Morely makes the save. Everything breaks down with the challengers in control and there’s the chokeslam to Storm. RVD loads up the Five Star but Morely shoves him off the top. The Dudleys lay out Storm with the 3D before dropping an elbow on Rob to give Lance the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here which had some strange booking decisions. Kane and Van Dam would take the titles the next night on Raw, so why not just switch them here to fire the crowd up before the show starts? The tag division was really starting to die around this point and having two sets of titles just didn’t work.
Since this is supposed to be about Lance Storm and not his partners, and since Storm didn’t have a lot of major singles moments in WWE, here’s a singles match from Raw on September 8, 2003.

Lance Storm vs. Rico

If nothing else we get to look at Jackie Gayda in a barely there outfit. The idea here is that Storm is boring and trying to find a personality. Rico starts the boring chant before the match so Lance punches him down. Goldust in turn starts a Rico Sucks chant and we’re ready to go. A quick suplex gets two for Lance but Rico comes back with a kick to the face and a clothesline before ripping at Storm’s face. Off to a chinlock for a bit until Storm fights up and starts firing off clotheslines. Jackie tries to get involved and gets kissed by Storm who quickly finishes Rico with a springboard missile dropkick. Short and not terrible here.

Storm would retire as a wrestler in spring of 2004 before becoming a trainer in OVW. He would however come out of retirement a few times, including at One Night Stand 2005 (ECW Reunion show) for a match with old partner Chris Jericho.

Lance Storm vs. Chris Jericho

It’s Lionheart here too and we get a dramatic pause joke from Joey. It’s great to hear Joey talk about the old days, which to be fair and honest were more or less crap but for the sake of this it’s fine. Jericho is freaking small here as he looks like he did in WCW which I mean in a good way. It amazes me that these two have been so intertwined throughout the years. Foley throws in that he was the guy that saw Jericho in Japan and got Heyman to bring him to America and ECW in particular.

We hear about SMW to really make this great. Apparently Joey and ECW don’t like that the New York Athletic Commission made them use mats. This is something that on paper sounds great and on a rare occasion like this one it works like a charm. With these guys here’s what you do: “Chris, Lance, you have 7 minutes, here’s your ending.” That’s all they need. Joey calls Foley Mickles. Ok then.

We get a big old Chris Candido chant who would have passed away only about a month and a half before this show. To say the crowd is hot is like saying Steve Austin might have had alcohol before. We have an F JOHN CENA chant. Foley: How does the Calgary Crab differ from its Boston cousin?

Joey: It doesn’t it’s just a gimmick. Jason and Justin Credible are here and with Dawn Marie running interference, Justin canes the heck  out of Jericho to allow Storm to get the easy pin. Joey complaining about itching from Jason is funny. Lance more or less retired after this.

Rating: B. This was rather fun indeed. These two have good matches just about every time they’re allowed to get in the ring and this was no exception. This is a pairing that it’s hard to get wrong and it worked out just about perfectly. Solid match and a solid ending to Storm’s final match in the mainstream.

Storm would almost exclusively become a trainer after this, though he would occasionally wrestle for independents. Here’s one of those matches, from ROH at Border Wars 2012.

Mike Bennett vs. Lance Storm

Bennett has his old trainer named Brutal Bob Evans with him but no Maria, as in Maria from WWE who is absolutely gorgeous. The fans immediately chant for her and I can’t say I blame them at all. They shove each other around to start with Lance being pushed into the corner which goes nowhere. Both guys trade strikes with Storm hitting a European uppercut to send Bennett into the corner and down to the mat.

Storm fires off some shoulders into the corner and a running version to the ribs gets two. Off to an abdominal stretch which is the most logical move for him at this point. Bennett quickly reverses and sends Storm to the apron and then into the buckle, sending Storm to the floor. Mike throws Storm into the announce table and then the barricade and we head back inside. The fans chant obscenities at Bennett because they can’t handle their countryman getting beaten up. Sore losers.

After sending Storm into the corner it’s off to a bow and arrow hold by Bennett to give the guys a breather. Storm flips out of the hold into a kick to Bennett’s face but gets caught in a backdrop to put him right back down. Back to the reverse chinlock with a knee in Storm’s back as Bennett keeps things slow. Lance fights back and they slug it out with both guys seemingly spent again after only a few minutes. In a rather impressive display of athleticism, Storm jumps from the mat and up to the top for a back elbow to the face, getting two.

The superkick is blocked and Storm walks into a spinebuster for a close two. Bennett tries a fireman’s carry but Storm slips down to the apron. A springboard clothesline misses though and Mike spears him down for two. Storm tries something out of a fireman’s carry but Bennett comes back with a sit out Rock Bottom called the Box Office Smash for two.

A dragon screw leg whip puts Storm down and flips off the fans (Storm mentioned that metaphorically in his pre-match promo) before putting on Storm’s own Canadian Maple Leaf half crab. Storm reverses into one of his own but Evans pulls Bennett to the floor. Storm hits a big dive to take Mike out before going back inside. With Evans distracting the referee, Mike gets a chair, only to have Storm blast him in the back with it and superkick Bennett down for the pin.

Rating: C+. This is probably the match of the night so far, but that ending brings it down for me. Storm using the chair is completely against what he’s been talking about leading up to the match and it goes against his style in general. Now, superkick the chair into Bennett’s face would have been fine, but it doesn’t feel right for Storm to just use the chair on his own like that.

Lance Storm is a fine wrestler but never reached anything higher than the midcard. What people don’t seem to get is that there’s nothing wrong with that at all. Storm could move around a ring very well and was often a bright spot in the mess that was ECW. No he wasn’t a top star, but he was a solid midcard and tag hand with an awesome springboard missile dropkick. He made Val Venis relevant again in 2003. That’s proof enough for me.

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The voices tell me that today is Randy Orton.

Much like Booker T, Orton has been around for a long time so I’m going to have to skip some big sections to keep this from being eight hours long.

Orton was trained by his dad and started in Missouri for a bit before signing to OVW. Here’s one of his matches from Christmas Chaos 2001 in January of the same year.

Slick Robbie D vs. Randy Orton

Cornette is in the Control Center and gives a brief intro to each match so they’re not as rushed as they seem. Robbie went nowhere but could jump like few I’ve ever seen. Orton actually has hair here and is a rookie as well and even has hair here. The referee is a chick with big hair. Randy isn’t evil here and has few tattoos. He’s also not orange yet.

Robbie hammers away on Orton so Cornette plays up how much of a rookie that Orton is. There’s that gorgeous dropkick by Orton and he grabs an armbar. Wheelbarrow suplex gets two for Orton. He’s freaking jacked here too. Big superkick by Robbie gets him out of trouble though. Leg drop gets two. Robbie hits a dropkick to send Orton to the floor. Apparently if you intentionally throw someone over the top it’s a DQ. I will never get that rule.

BIG plancha takes out Orton. Robbie tries to go up and goes so slow “that a crippled moose could be up there by now.” I love Cornette’s expressions like that one. Superplex brings Robbie down and both guys are down. Orton starts his comeback and hits some basic stuff. In a rather abrupt ending, Orton tries for a full nelson slam which is his finishing move at the time. It’s blocked so Orton tries it again and hits it for the easy pin. Like I said, rather abrupt.

Rating: C+. Another decent little match here as I feel like I’m watching a Before They Were Stars tape or something like that. Orton wasn’t that great here but it was clear that they were going to try to make him into something. As with a lot of other guys I don’t think anyone had any idea how big he would become but the potential was there.

Orton would make it to Smackdown a little over a year later and would be just a guy for awhile, including in this match on Smackdown from July 4, 2002.

D-Von/Batista vs. Big Valbowski/Randy Orton

Orton had been around for a few months here but was just a young kid. Batista was the deacon for Reverend D-Von and had debuted last week as well. Orton has hair here. Batista beat up Orton last week so this is the rematch Orton requested. Val (I’m not typing that whole thing) starts against Batista. He tries to take Batista’s knee out but gets run over by a HUGE clothesline.

Off to D-Von and the veterans do some basic stuff. Orton comes in to a screaming girls pop. He’s always had a sweet dropkick. D-Von gets a neckbreaker out of the corner for two. Orton gets beaten down but manages to bring in Val. Venis gets a Blue Thunder Bomb but Batista makes the save.

Orton comes in and hot shots D-Von, but Big Dave (first name unknown at this point) puts him in a fireman’s carry and rolls through it like Kenderson does. That’s a new one. Or old one in this case I guess. Everything breaks down and Orton misses his top rope cross body. The spinebuster ends this. Cole: “Batista is an animal!”

Rating: C-. This was fine and it’s amazing to see guys like this in their very young days. You never know what you might have in any given match and this is proof of it. I’m sure they knew they had something, but I don’t think anyone knew how big they’d be. Somehow, these two pale in comparison to the guy that would be in the next segment though. The match was fine.

Orton would suffer one of his numerous shoulder injuries to put him out of action. This was where everything changed. Let’s flash back to 1997 for a second. Rocky Maivia was brought in at Survivor Series 1996 as a face, but people would come to loathe him very quickly. They then turned him heel until his talent shined through and the fans turned him face again. This was basically a big screw up that turned out perfectly in the end. In 2002, WWE tried to do the same thing on purpose with Randy Orton.

Unfortunately it didn’t work all that well though and Orton was better as a heel. This led to the Randy News Network bits where he would interrupt broadcasts to say where he was in his shoulder recovery. However, instead of getting over as a face, Orton got WAY over as a heel and WWE just stayed with that and put him in Evolution despite being hurt. Evolution dominated 2003 and Orton was back in the ring a few months into the year. The team hit its peak at Armageddon 2003 which saw Orton challenging RVD for the Intercontinental Title.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Randy Orton

Rob takes him down quickly and Orton heads to the floor. Back in and we get some surprisingly decent chain wrestling, resulting in a standoff. Rob gets a shot to the ribs and a cross body off the top for two. Spinwheel kick puts Orton on the floor as Rob has been in control nearly the entire match so far. Big dive takes Orton out again as Rob threatens Flair a bit.

Slingshot legdrop gets two. He tries to go up again but Orton manages to shove him off, flying into the railing in one of his signature spots. Out to the floor and Orton gets that awesome dropkick of his. Back in and Orton chokes away with Rob making a hilarious face at the same time. Foley pulls Orton off Rob and Flair is TICKED.

Orton takes over with his usual stuff. Well usual for this time at least. It’s so weird to see him with only a few tattoos and normal looking skin. There’s the chinlock just to confirm it’s an Orton match. Big clothesline by Orton but he poses instead of covering. Seated dropkick gets two and it’s chinlock city again. Rob grabs a rolling cradle out of nowhere for two.

Split legged moonsault gets two. Orton hits a move of his I’ve always loved: he puts Rob on his shoulder like for a powerbomb and steps forward, pulling Rob down into a neckbreaker. Love that. Oh look here’s another chinlock. I know that’s a cliché for him but it’s true. Rob fights out of it after WAY too long and hits his spin kick to take over.

Off to the floor again and with Orton draped over the railing, Rob hits that spinwheel kick off the apron. Elevated DDT coming back in gets two. Knee drop by Orton misses and Van Dam gets a rollup with his legs for two. Rolling Thunder hits and there goes Flair whose hair is DRENCHED. Spinning kick takes down Randy again and it’s Five Star time. Flair has something in his hand but Foley takes him down. Orton dropkicks Rob off the ropes and there’s the RKO for the title.

Rating: C+. Pretty good here but Orton clearly didn’t know how to work a long match, although to be fair he still pretty much doesn’t. Van Dam is a weird guy to have carry you so Orton had to do a lot here. Foley would get spat on the next night and leave until the Rumble and then wrestle against Orton at Mania and Backlash. Either way, not bad here but not a classic.

Orton would hold the title for over half a year before dropping it to Edge. This freed him up to go after a World Title and he got that shot at Summerslam 2004.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit

Orton won a battle royal a month ago to set this up. It’s weird to see Orton with hair, regular colored skin and few tattoos. The fans of course are more interested in telling Earl Hebner that he screwed Bret. Feeling out process to start with Benoit taking it into the corner for a clean break. Benoit takes it to the mat and puts on a hard chinlock which gets him nowhere. Off to a test of strength with the taller Orton taking over, but Benoit comes back with pure leverage.

Benoit hooks an armbar as we reset a bit. Orton fights up and is armdragged right back down to the mat with Benoit cranking away on the arm. That goes nowhere so Benoit tries a Sharpshooter but Orton kicks him off and puts on one of his own. Benoit counters into his own Sharpshooter but it’s not on full, allowing Orton to get to the ropes. The Crossface doesn’t go on full either so they head to the floor where Benoit is whipped into the barricade.

There’s the Spanish table chant again as Benoit is sent shoulder first into the post. Back in and Orton puts on an armbar of his own, showing some basic psychology. Orton drops him ribs first across the top rope and the fight moves to the outside with Benoit hitting a kind of DDT onto the apron to take over. Chris tries a suicide dive but rams his head into the barricade as Orton moves to the side. Back in and Orton wrenches the neck around before putting on something resembling a camel clutch.

Orton puts Benoit over his shoulder for a powerbomb but steps forward into a neckbreaker for two in a nice move. We hit the chinlock which is actually a smart move here. Back up and both guys hit cross bodies for a double knockout. They slug it out with the champion taking over via a series of forearms to the head. Orton blocks the rolling Germans but gets caught in a northern lights for two.

Randy fights off a superplex and hits a high cross body for two, crushing Benoit’s head again in the process. Chris ducks a clothesline and hits a release German suplex before putting on the Sharpshooter. Two arm drops later and Orton gets to the ropes, only to be caught in a long series of rolling Germans for two. Benoit loads up the Swan Dive but Orton gets up the knee, driving it right into Benoit’s jaw. That’s hard to watch today. Orton’s cover is countered into a bad looking Crossface but Orton rolls away to escape. Back up and another Crossface attempt is countered into the RKO out of nowhere for the pin and the title.

Rating: B+. This took a bit to get going but I really liked the ending with the RKO hitting from nowhere. It caught the technical master off guard which was the right idea given that Orton is younger and faster. It’s a good match and Benoit put Orton over clean right in the middle of the ring. You can’t ask for more than that.

Orton celebrates as Benoit leaves but Chris comes back and demands that Orton be a man and shake his hand.

Orton would turn face the next night on Raw when HHH kicked him out of Evolution for taking HHH’s title. The title reign wouldn’t last long due to HHH deciding that he needed the belt back and Orton’s face push died. With nothing else to do they turned him heel again and gave him a shot at the Streak, which was really becoming a huge deal.

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

It’s Wrestlemania so we get druids, chanting and torches for Undertaker’s entrance. This is never not cool. We also get the Burn in My Light theme for Orton from back when Orton looked like a 24 year old and not like he was made out of orange shoe leather. Undertaker is just 12-0 at this point. Feeling out process to start until Orton scores a quick dropkick for two. A single right hand puts Orton down but a quick rollup out of the corner gets two for Randy.

Undertaker throws him into the corner and drops the leg on Orton on the apron for good measure. Old School drops Orton again but Undertaker misses a running boot in the corner, allowing Orton to dropkick him out to the floor. Back in and a clothesline puts Taker down again for two but a running DDT drops Orton for two for the tall guy. Undertaker follows up with some clotheslines in the corner before loading up the snake eyes/big boot combo. Orton blocks the coming boot with an uppercut but he stops to pose, allowing Undertaker to sit up.

They slug it out until Undertaker simply runs Orton over for two. Off to a dragon sleeper by Taker which clearly makes Orton tap but it doesn’t count this early I guess. Orton twists around into a nice DDT for two before we hit the chinlock. Taker fights up so it’s a sleeper instead, only for Taker to counter again with a belly to back suplex. Back up and Orton powerslams Undertaker down for two but he makes the eternal mistake of punching Undertaker in the corner and gets caught in the Last Ride.

Orton escapes though and tries the RKO, only to be shoved off. He grazes the referee on the way to the ropes which apparently passes for a ref bump. The Last Ride is countered again and here’s Randy’s dad Bob with the cast (that’s a VERY slow healing injury as it’s at about 23 years now) to give Orton a VERY close two. In one of my favorite counters ever, Taker loads up the chokeslam but Orton counters in mid air into the RKO for two. Like any good lunkhead, Orton loads up the Tombstone but gets countered into the real thing to make Taker 13-0.

Rating: C+. While not great, Orton was trying out there. The problem was that Orton had been crushed so badly by HHH that there was no reason to buy him as a threat here. I won’t say didn’t even have to break a sweat here but other than that RKO counter and MAYBE the cast shot, Undertaker was never in any danger or even extended trouble.

The rest of 2005 was mainly spent feuding with Undertaker, who eventually won the blowoff match of course. Next up was chasing the World Title on both Smackdown and Raw but Orton couldn’t quite close the deal. Instead it was back to the old Legend Killer stuff, including a match against the biggest legend of them all in Hulk Hogan at Summerslam 2006.

Randy Orton vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan has a bad leg coming in, meaning he’s perfectly normal. Hulk easily shoves Orton down out of lockup to start before running him down with a shoulder block. The bandana goes into Orton’s face before Randy grabs a headlock. Hogan fights out with a top wristlock as we’re still going very slowly so far, much to Hogan’s liking. Randy finally gets in some shots to the face to put Hogan down, thereby making him the biggest heel in the world.

Hogan fights Orton off in the corner and sends him into the buckle. Almost all Hogan so far which continues as Hogan pounds down right hands in the corner. He bites Randy’s forehead and pokes him in the eye to keep us firmly in the mid-80s. Hogan rakes his back and pounds away on the mat before threatening the referee with a right hand. Orton holds the ropes on an Irish whip and pulls Hogan to the mat to work on the knee.

Back in and Orton cannonballs down on the leg before doing a short form of the circle stomp. A chop block puts Hulk down again but he ducks/collapses to avoid a high cross body. Hogan pounds away but misses the big boot, allowing Orton to dropkick him down. The RKO connects for three but Hogan’s foot was on the ropes. Orton argues with the referee, Hulk Hulks Up and the legdrop ends it.

Rating: D. Well let’s see: the booking was out of the 80s, Hogan broke a sweat for maybe a minute, and Orton was pinned clean by a 50+ year old man in about eleven minutes. This is the opposite of last year with Shawn as Michaels didn’t have much to gain from a win. Orton on the other hand could have ridden this win for months, but instead we get Hogan’s last WWE match (which you couldn’t have known at the time) as a tribute to him, complete with the 1985 formula all over again. Not a fan of this but you had to know it was coming.

After chasing the title again for a good chunk of 2007, Orton would be awarded the title at No Mercy 2007 when John Cena was injured. Randy would lose the title less than twenty minutes later to HHH before facing him again later in the night in a last man standing match.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

Last man standing. Slugout to start with Orton going after the bad ribs. They keep the slugout going out to the floor where a Pedigree is countered. The bad ribs land on the steel and Orton gets control. Back in and a punch puts HHH down. Out to the floor again and Orton belly to back suplexes him onto the barricade. That gets a six count and Orton throws him into the steps for another six.

They head into the ring and Orton hits a release powerslam for about eight. Facebuster puts Orton down but he pops back up and gets a cord off the floor. He chokes HHH out but what should be murder only gets a nine count. Orton loads up the announce table and gets a horrible shot to the head with a monitor. An RKO from one table to the other doesn’t work as HHH launches him through the second table.

Both guys are down and Orton is holding his arm. Gee where have I seen that before? Trips gets up and it’s a nine count on Orton. A spinebuster on the floor but that gets the same result. Steps to the face of Orton should kill him but gets the slowest nine count ever. Back into the ring and HHH gets a chair. Orton manages to kick the bad ribs and DDTs him onto the chair for an eight or so.

Randy finally goes off and pounds HHH down in the corner and an RKO on the open chair gets nine. The Punt is grabbed and HHH throws Orton over the top to the floor. They go to the floor with HHH pounding on him before throwing him onto the remaining table. Orton escapes and slams him into the post to put HHH down. He gets the steps but HHH hits him low to “slam” Orton’s head into them. A chair to Orton’s head while it’s still on the steps gets nine and we go back to the table. An RKO out of nowhere onto the table gives Orton the title. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: B. Good match but the counts got pretty ridiculous at times. The ending didn’t help either as Orton had hit him with far bigger stuff just moments earlier but the RKO ends it because that’s what Orton finishes matches with. Also it doesn’t help that these two had THREE last man standing matches in total. See why people got tired of them?

Cena would come back sooner than later and would jump back into the title scene, setting up a threeway between Orton, Cena and HHH at Wrestlemania XXIV.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH vs. John Cena

Cena has a drumline playing him to the ring which is pretty awesome. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Orton immediately blasts HHH with the belt but Cena takes the champion down with a bulldog before Orton can do any more damage. HHH pops back up and throws both guys to the floor before sending Orton into the announce table. Orton and HHH head back in with the champion being put in a sleeper. Cena comes back in and picks them BOTH up at the same time for an FU but both guys slip off the back. Orton’s backbreaker puts HHH down as does a shot to Cena to give the champion control again.

Randy takes turns pounding away on both guys, getting two off a knee drop to the Game. Orton starts getting uncharacteristic for himself by going up top, only to be stopped by Cena. John loads up a superplex but HHH pulls Cena onto his own shoulders so Orton can hit a top rope cross body for two. Cena stands up to try the FU on Orton but Randy slides into a cradle for two. HHH clotheslines Cena down but Orton clotheslines HHH to put HHH down.

It’s Orton standing tall again as he sends both guys to the apron for a double Elevated DDT which gets two on both challengers. An RKO to Cena is countered but he shoves Orton into HHH to put both guys down. Cena hits the Throwback (a flipping face first mat slam) and the top rope Fameasser to keep Randy down. He isn’t down enough for the STFU though and the champion rolls to the floor. Cena follows him and is sent into the post to slow things down again.

Orton and HHH fight it out in the ring with HHH taking out the champion’s knee. Cena comes back in to distract HHH but after the Game puts him down, Orton catches him with an RKO to put him right next to Cena. Orton kicks HHH to the floor but walks into the STFU in the middle of the ring. HHH makes a save at the last second and sends Cena into the floor to put him down on the floor.

Back in and HHH puts on an Indian Deathlock to follow up on the knee work he started earlier. Now it’s Cena back in to break up the hold and send HHH into the corner and out to the floor. Back to the STFU but HHH comes in for the save. The problem is that the save didn’t work, so HHH puts Cena in a Crossface while Cena has Orton in the STFU. Cena lets go of his hold but manages to crawl over to the ropes to break up the hold.

Orton rolls to the floor so HHH and Cena can slug it out in the middle of the ring. The fans boo Cena’s punches and cheer HHH’s, continuing a trend for whomever Cena is facing. Cena slams HHH down and hits the Shuffle but Cena’s FU is countered into a Pedigree attempt which is countered into an STFU attempt this HHH escapes. The spinebuster puts John down and there’s the Pedigree, but Orton comes back in with the Punt to HHH to knock him silly and Orton pins Cena to retain.

Rating: B. This was a fast paced match with all three guys working hard out there in front of a huge crowd. The back and forth stuff worked very well and it wasn’t clear who was going to win until the match was over. Orton getting beaten up and winning while stealing HHH’s pin is perfect for him, as well as giving him the big win on the big stage that he needed.

We’ll jump ahead again due to HHH vs. Orton in 2008 being AWFUL and HHH vs. Orton continuing to be AWFUL in 2009, because those two just had to face each other forever in the main event. We’ll head to Hell in a Cell 2009 as Orton has finally moved over to feuding with John Cena forever instead of HHH FOREVER.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Orton gets a small face pop again. All right I’ll say it: I love Cena’s theme song and I sing along at times. Cena is champion here and this is Orton’s last shot allegedly. This is the first ever Cell match that HHH or Taker weren’t in. That’s saying a lot when you think about it. Orton takes over early and is in control. King offers analysis of what’s going on. Why? He’s never been in one of these things so what kind of knowledge can he have of them?

Crowd is TOTALLY behind Orton here. They’re 3 minutes in and they’ve used the cage FAR more than Taker and Punk did, which isn’t saying much at all really but whatever. They’re using the cage to jump up higher for kicks and getting slammed into it a bit, but the problem is you could use the posts or the apron for everything they’re doing.

The best version ever of the match was Shawn vs. Taker, as Shawn was scared to death of him and couldn’t get out. He was trapped in a nightmare with the devil. That’s the idea of the match. Instead here it’s just a hardcore match in a cage. Now to be fair, just about every match ever in the Cell is like that anymore so it’s hardly a problem that just this match is having.

Cena blocks the elevated DDT onto the steps. No one is keeping control for more than just a little bit which I’m not sure if I like or not. They’re just standing around in a match that’s supposed to be all about violence. What sense does something like that even begin to make? Cena begins his comeback with his usual stuff and I have zero clue why this is in the Cell.

The elevated DDT hits after Orton takes over. The FU gets two and we’re in the kicking out of finishers segment already. Shockingly, an Orton match is going VERY slowly. Orton hits Cena in the neck with a chair! Hey kids! Hit someone in the neck with a chair! It’s on a PG show so it’s all good. Orton has demons? Cool.

I wonder if Vince tells the camera guys to focus on Orton when he’s in crazy mode as it looks like he’s orgasming or something like that. Cena works the knee for like two seconds and Orton tries to get out of the STFU. He gets it again for the tap but the referee was knocked down. What a shame!

RKO gets two. Orton ties Cena up in the ropes for no adequately explored reason. In something that I laughed out loud at, he uses a chinlock while Cena is tied in the ropes. Seriously, why am I not surprised? Orton lets go for no adequately explored reason. He punts Cena and wins the title. The 4 seconds of knee work Cena did earlier was the explanation of why Orton’s punt didn’t put Cena on the shelf. That’s just freaking stupid but whatever.

Rating: D. Again, for a Cell match, this was awful but for a regular match this would have been ok. The Cell use here was better than in the Taker match, but at the same time there just isn’t enough here to validate having the Cell being in play here.

Also having seen it earlier in the night it makes it seem FAR less interesting. The psychology was more or less nonexistent here too. Overall just not good. Keep in mind: had this been a street fight or whatever, it’s probably a B. As for a Cell match though which it was, this was awful.

We’ll skip over 2010 to avoid Nexus, even though face Orton won another World Title at Night of Champions. Instead we’ll move ahead to Wrestlemania 27 and the apex of Orton’s feud with CM Punk and his New Nexus.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

The cylinder from last year is now a cube which still has the videos playing on them. Orton immediately takes it to the floor and pounds away, but Punk jumps over the steps and kicks them into Orton’s knees. Back in and Orton stays on the knees for a quick two count. Punk of course mocks the knee injury before stomping at the legs even more. Randy grabs a quick backbreaker but Punk comes back with a kind of Stunner to the leg for two.

Punk hits the running knee in the corner but Orton falls down before he can hit the bulldog. The straightedge one stays on the knee and puts Orton in the Tree of Woe. In a cool bit, Orton tries to pull himself up but Punk drops a top rope knee to take Randy right back down. The GTS is countered but Punk breaks up the RKO with a high kick for two. Punk loads up the Macho Elbow but Orton crotches him down instead. A superplex puts Punk down but the cover is very delayed and only gets two.

Punk wraps the knee around the post a few times and Orton is in big trouble. Off to a modified Indian deathlock for a bit but Orton fights back and slugs Punk down to take over. Punk comes back with a basic kick to the knee and there’s the Anaconda Vice. Orton rolls over and the fans never once seemed nervous about a tap out. CM heads out to the apron and is rammed into the post, followed by the Elevated DDT. Orton loads up the Punt but the knee gives out. Punk heads to the outside and loads up the springboard clothesline but dives right into the RKO for the pin by Randy.

Rating: B. Good solid match here which should have been the end of the feud, but since this is WWE, there was a gimmick rematch the next month because that’s how WWE books feuds. You know, because WRESTLEMANIA isn’t good enough to end a story at. Anyway, very good match here between two guys with solid chemistry together.

Just over a month later, Orton would jump to Smackdown and receive a World Title shot on his first night on the show against new champion Christian.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Christian

This show has flown by it seems. Regarding Christian’s pop, in the words of Riddler from Batman Forever, “Your entrance was good, his was better.” Headlock by Orton to start but Christian gets a shoulder for two. Orton hammers away and the crowd eats it up with a spoon like soup or Jello or pork or other things eaten with a spoon. The champ sends him to the floor and gets a delayed baseball slide to take Orton down, only to be taken down as well as we take a break.

Back in the ring with Orton in total control. Orton works on the ribs and gets a reverse waistlock (looks like he’s about to hit a German) which looks like the cover of a very freaky Christmas card. They hit the floor via a Cactus Clothesline by Orton as we take break #2. Back with Christian holding a chinlock for only a few seconds. Orton gets a belly to back and both guys are down.

They slug it out a bit and Orton hits that gorgeous dropkick to put Christian down. He goes all psycho but Christian gets the pendulum kick in the corner and a middle rope missile dropkick for two. Guillotine over the top sets up a cross body off the top for two for Christian. Fans are way into this. Middle rope elbow (love that move still) hits and let the clapping begin!

For some reason Christian charges at him and gets caught by a powerslam for two. Christian slides to the floor to try a right hand to Randy as he’s in a 619 position but Orton avoids it to hit the elevated DDT for two. Angle Slam is countered into a reverse DDT for two. Slam hits this time and it’s RKO time. Since it’s the first attempt it’s countered as is the Killswitch. Christian goes to the middle rope and tries a spinning something off of it, proving why he’s an idiot as YOU DON’T JUMP AT ORTON! RKO ends the 5 day reign at 10:08 shown of 17:08.

Rating: B. Good match here and Christian definitely looked strong throughout. People are going to complain about the reign looking bad due to it being too short, but at the same time he had two matches and this was by far the weaker one and this was a very good TV match. Orton is a far bigger star and Christian got the reign that everyone wanted him to get. The fanboys will be up in arms over it, but you have to just ignore them as they’ll never be pleased. He got his title, he got his moment, he had two great matches and lost it. No harm no foul in my eyes.

Again we’ll skip 2012 which had almost nothing interesting for the most part as Orton would feud with Ziggler, Del Rio, and the Wellness Policy. Orton would eventually feud with Shield alongside Sheamus and Big Show. The trio would be beaten by Shield at Wrestlemania XXIX, so Orton and Sheamus squared off on Raw the next night. This was nothing short of bizarre and warrants inclusion.

Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

They shove each other to start and the fans do an OLE chant. Orton hits a snapmare but Sheamus avoids a knee drop. Sheamus hits a pair of knees for his own for two and starts working on the arm. Orton comes back with another knee to the chest as the match keeps going. Randy hooks a chinlock as the fans think a four minutes old match is boring.

Now Sheamus hooks a chinlock as the announcers talk about going to London in a few weeks for Raw. Now the fans chant for Rob Van Dam. Now it’s HBK. Orton slowly stomps away as the match is completely ignored. The fans are now chanting for JBL as Sheamus gets two off the rolling fireman’s carry. Sheamus goes up top and the fans chant for Lawler. This is BIZARRE. Orton dropkicks Sheamus out of the air and now they’re chanting Cole as we take a break.

Back with the fans chanting what sounded like DDP and then ECW as Sheamus makes a comeback. The Irish Curse hits for two as the crowd is doing the Wave. JBL: “I wish Michael would drown in it.” Sheamus hits his knee to the ribs and the ten forearms in the ropes as the fans suddenly start cheering along. A suplex brings Orton back in as Sheamus is smiling. Orton’s backbreaker puts Sheamus as we get a Randy Savage chant. Even the announcers are giving up at this point.

The powerslam and t-bone suplex put Sheamus down as the HBK chant starts again. There’s the Elevated DDT and Orton loads up the RKO, only to be shoved off into White Noise. I think the fans are booing Sheamus but how can you tell in this match? The Brogue Kick misses and here comes Big Show as I think everyone knew was about to happen. He throws Sheamus into the post, presumably ending the match at 15:10. Fans: “Thank you Big Show.”

Rating: N/A. I have almost no idea what happened in this match but the crowd stole the show here. The thing I don’t get is that while the match was slow paced, it wasn’t THAT bad. This is a case where the fans just did not care what was going on and found ways to entertain themselves. I’ve never seen anything like this but it was awesome in a way. For an actual grade, we’ll go roughly C- or so.

We’ll head back to reality now as Orton is in the Money in the Bank match at the PPV of the same name.

CM Punk vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Christian vs. Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

RVD, Bryan and Punk get good reactions but the fans aren’t impressed with the others. Everyone goes after RVD to start and knock him to the floor. The remaining four go after Sheamus before pairing off themselves. We’re quickly down to Bryan vs. Punk and the fans go nuts in a hurry. Van Dam is knocked off the apron and into a ladder as the two stars go at it. Bryan almost botches the backflip but counters the GTS into a YES Lock attempt, only to have everyone not named RVD make the save with a ladder.

Van Dam is back in now to clean house and pose a bit. Some baseball slides drop Punk and Sheamus before Rob drops Christian onto a ladder. Rolling Thunder onto Bryan onto the ladder takes Daniel out but it’s Orton sending Van Dam to the floor. Rob kicks him down and loads up the Five Star onto Orton onto the ladder but Christian breaks it up with a short ladder. Christian loses a fight to Sheamus over a full sized ladder but Van Dam breaks up the pale one’s climb with Sheamus landing on the ladder on the way down.

Sheamus is up almost immediately and rams various people into the barricade before bridging a ladder between the apron and the announce table. Bryan escapes a powerbomb through the ladder and hits a running knee to the face from the apron. Punk is loading up a ladder but Orton makes the save. Another ladder is brought in and all six climb up on two ladders with the briefcase being knocked away. All six fall down and Orton is holding his knee.

It’s Sheamus on his feet first and cleaning house before going up, only to be caught by Bryan. We get the ten forearms on the top of the ladder but Punk stops Sheamus from pulling down the case. Sheamus and Punk slug it out in the corner but Punk hits the running knee to take him down, followed by riding the ladder down onto his back. Orton comes back in and suplexes Punk into the ladder followed by the Elevated DDT.

Christian comes back in and spears Randy down but Van Dam knocks him off the ladder. The fans of course want tables as Christian goes up again. Van Dam is cut on the forehead. They both go up but Van Dam jumps to another ladder as Christian falls. The splash off the top of the ladder crushes Christian but Sheamus shoves Rob off the ladder. Bryan is back in to kick both of them before going into his usual insane rush.

He throws Sheamus THROUGH a ladder and goes up top…..but Curtis Axel of all people comes out with a chair to beat him down. He lays Bryan out with his finisher on the floor but walks into a GTS. Heyman comes out to yell at Axel because he wants Punk to win. CM starts a very slow climb while holding his neck….and Heyman of course screws him by ramming another ladder into him. Punk is busted open BAD and here’s Van Dam going up the ladder, only to have Orton make the save with an RKO. Orton pulls down the case to win at 26:31.

Rating: B-. Well that happened. Seriously that’s about all there is to it. Everyone was about the same but the winner wasn’t terribly obvious for most of the match. It wasn’t bad or anything but you expect more when you have this level of talent in the match. At the end of the day though there was no hatred between these guys and that makes for a duller match. The Heyman stuff was pretty obvious but it sets up Lesnar vs. Punk at Summerslam.

Orton would cash in at Summerslam and turn heel in the process. This would make him champion heading into the end of the year, where he would feud with Cena to be unified champion. The unification match was held at TLC 2013.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Randy Orton vs. John Cena

TLC match, winner take all. They have a ton of time to used for this too. Naturally we get big match intros and we’re ready to go. They head into the corner to start and Cena grabs a headlock. The wrestling gets boring though and we get our first ladder and table with the wooden one being set up in the corner. Orton escapes an AA through the table and heads to the floor for a chair. Cena can’t avoid the shot to the back and Randy is in control.

They head outside again but Orton misses a chair shot and hits the post, allowing Cena to pick up the chair. A series of chair shots puts Orton down and John loads up another table on the floor. The distraction lets Orton send him into the steps to take over again as the dueling Cena chants begin. Orton tries to climb but Cena makes a fast save. The ladder is thrown to the floor and Orton headbutts him down. Some kicks to the ribs have Cena in trouble but he comes back with knees and right hands, only to walk into the powerslam.

Randy brings in another ladder but gets it rammed into his ribs, allowing Cena to climb. Orton quickly suplexes him down but misses a ladder shot, sending the ladder to the floor. That’s fine with Orton though as he cracks Cena in the back with a chair before wedging it into the corner. Cena blocks the shot into the chair and comes back with his finishing sequence, only to have Orton poke him in the eye and send him into the chair. Another ladder is brought in but Cena makes yet another save.

They both fight on the ladder until Cena throws Orton over the top and through the table. He can’t climb that fast though and Orton pulls him down for an RKO. Both guys are down again but it’s Cena up first with a clothesline to send him to the floor. Cena blasts Orton in the head with the steps and Randy might be busted a little bit. John brings in another table, giving us two tables in opposite corners. With all of the metal stuff at ringside, Orton hits Cena in the head with the microphone to take over again.

Orton loads up the announce table but instead clears out a path to Cena. John avoids the Punt though and catches Orton in an AA through the table to put both guys down again. Cena very slowly gets back in and grabs both belts without pulling them down. Instead it’s Orton shoving the ladder away to leave Cena hanging, allowing Orton a free shot with the chair. Cena comes right back with a spear through one of the tables and both guys are down again.

Randy heads outside again and starts peeling back the mats to find some hidden handcuffs. Cena gets tied to the bottom rope and Orton teases him with the key. This didn’t work at Breaking Point but call backs to old matches are usually fun. Cena tries to break the chain as Orton goes to pick up the big ladder for some shots to Cena’s ribs.

Randy goes back inside as Cena beats on the cuffs with a chair to no avail. Cena pulls hard enough to rip the bottom rope off and go up to knock Orton off the ladder but he only has one free arm due to the rope. Orton grabs the rope and uses the power of gravity to pull Cena down, sending him head first into the table which DOESN’T BREAK. That looked bad. Orton goes up again and pulls down both titles for the surprise win at 24:35.

Rating: B. I liked the match and the ropes idea was good, but that ending came out of nowhere. Given how badly Cena’s head went into that table, I wouldn’t be shocked if he had an actual injury. Orton winning makes more sense but I’m kind of shocked it was clean. Well as clean as you can get in a TLC match of course. Good stuff here but the ending leaves a lot of doors open.

I’m a big Orton fan and have been for a long time. I know he may not be the most interesting wrestler in the world but the guy is capable of having good matches with almost anyone. Yeah he gets repetitive a lot, but he has an awesome finisher and has figured out his character perfectly. He’ll be around for several more years and will win a ton more World Titles, as he deserves to do.

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These are always interesting.

50. Scott Steiner

49. Joel Gertner

48. Jimmy Valiant

47. Zeb Colter

46. New Jack

45. Grand Wizard

44. Brian Pillman

43. JBL

42. Thunderbolt Patterson

41. The Miz

40. Kevin Sullivan

39. William Regal

38. Taz

37. Stephanie McMahon

36. Ernie Ladd

35. Kurt Angle

34. Bray Wyatt

33. Rick Rude

32. Gary Hart

31. Ultimate Warrior

30. Michael PS Hayes

29. Nick Bockwinkle

28. Raven

27. Jesse Ventura

26. Jerry Lawler

25. Ted DiBiase

24. Terry Funk

23. Shawn Michaels

22. Harley Race

21. Edge

20. Captain Lou Albano

19. HHH

18. Randy Savage

17. Jim Cornette

16. CM Punk

15. Arn Anderson

14. Billy Graham

13. Vince McMahon

12. John Cena

11. Jake Roberts

10. Chris Jericho

9. Hulk Hogan

8. Bobby Heenan

7. Mick Foley

6. Paul Heyman

5. Dusty Rhodes

4. Steve Austin

3. Roddy Piper

2. The Rock

1. Ric Flair

I’m really not feeling Flair as #1 but this is WWE so ALL HAIL FLAIR. Cena not being in the top ten is highly questionable and I’d put Jericho above Dusty.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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