I Want To Talk A Little Bit About Wrestlers Sticking To Their Strengths

 

That right there is a lesson that a large amount of wrestling fans need to learn. Today, you hear people talking about guys like Punk and Bryan and using the words Best in the World to describe them. Their justification for this seems to be that Punk and Bryan put on long and entertaining matches with a wide variety of moves. These same fans tend to criticize guys like Hogan and Cena for using a much smaller moveset.

 

 

 

Why did Hogan never change or mix it up? Well why should he have done so? Hogan got some of the biggest reactions for well over 20 years doing the exact same stuff, and it never stopped working. Hogan got to the top of the wrestling world using the same formula and it never stopped at all. Somehow being the biggest star ever made him into the worst wrestler ever.

 

 

 

 

 

I Want To Talk A Little Bit About WWE’s Tag Team Relaunch

 

In the fall of that year, another team was starting to have some issues. This team was known as the Rockers and was comprised of Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty. They were hitting their peak as a team, showing continuity the likes of which were rarely seen in the WWF, before Shawn started having a big head. It seemed that the team was on the verge of splitting when they met face to face on the set of the talk show The Barber Shop in December of 1991.

 

On that show, in probably the most famous tag team split ever, Shawn Michaels superkicked Marty and rammed him face first through a window, completely splitting the team and establishing himself as the a fast rising heel. Shawn would also go on to greatness, feuding with Bret on and off for five years while putting together one of the greatest in ring careers of all time.

 

Look to modern tag team wrestling for proof of this. Well by modern I mean about three years ago but you get the idea. When Miz and Morrison split up, the crux of their feud was over which one of them would be the Jannetty. Just the idea of which would be a success (and dang were most people, myself included, wrong on which one would be the star of the team) was enough to warrant a feud.

 

 

Back to the subject of what killed the tag division, there are two other men that had a big role in this: Hawk and Animal, the Legion of Doom. Now before I get into this, I want to make it clear that I was a HUGE LOD fan. I had an LOD hat, I had an LOD shirt, I ate Legion of Doom cereal, and yes that really existed. However, there came a point where there was no one that was going to be able to beat the LOD and everyone knew it.

 

Think about it: what tag team could give a legitimate challenge to the Legion of Doom? This was a team that had gone toe to toe with the Horsemen in the NWA and now were here, beating up everyone in sight, including the formerly dominant team of Demolition (how those two never had a big PPV match is one of the great wrestling mysteries of our time). As cool as the LOD was, there are only so many places you can go with them as champions.

 

 

These two were former multiple time tag team champion Billy Gunn and the Road Dogg Jesse James, who formed the team known as the New Age Outlaws. The Outlaws would dominate tag team wrestling for the next two years, winning five tag titles, a record at the time. To give you an idea of how dominant the Outlaws were by comparison, other than them, no team from May of 1997 to June of 2003 held the titles for longer than three months. La Resistance, the team that broke that streak, won them after the brand split when there were two sets of titles.

 

The Outlaws lost their final title in February of 2000 to a new team called the Dudley Boyz, kicking off what is incorrectly considered a renaissance of the tag team division. Over the fourteen months, the Hardy Boys, Edge and Christian, and the Dudleys won a combined thirteen tag titles, with the final change between the teams coming at Wrestlemania X7. Between February of 2000 and April of 2001 (X7), three teams (Right to Censor, Too Cool and Rock/Undertaker) combined to hold the titles for 62 days. Other than that, it was all Dudleys/Hardys/Edge and Christian.

 

So what does this tell us about this period? It tells us that this was not a renaissance or a rebirth of the division. It was a three way feud that was incredibly popular for how action packed the matches were. This was a fresh idea because the Outlaws followed the Nash/Hall formula of being tag team champions: they rarely defended the titles.

 

Now the Outlaws defended them a lot more often, but how many times do you distinctly remember them defending the belts? How many of those defenses do you remember lasting five minutes? In the Attitude Era, you very rarely got a long match, so seeing Edge/Christian, the Hardys and the Dudleys going out and having fifteen minute matches that were pretty awesome was a new thing for the division and it made the titles look greater than they were.

 

As always with a great feud, at some point it becomes stale, which is what happened once Edge and Christian broke up. You can only run the Hardys vs. the Dudleys so many times before no one cares anymore, and by the end of 2001, not many people did. After that, the tag titles fell through the floor with no one caring about them on Raw or their counterparts on Smackdown (other than the end of 2002 and early 2003 on the blue show) for the better part of the decade.

 



I Want To Talk A Little Bit About The WWE Gimmick Assembly Line

Back in 1908, the Ford Motor Company began manufacturing a car called the Model T. The idea behind it was simple: use the same format on an assembly line to mass produce affordable automobiles. It was a smash hit and became the standard method used for designing cars that is still used today. All of a sudden everyone had the same kind of car, but a lot more people could get their hands on one. The idea was that if you take away the uniqueness of cars, you could get then out faster, cheaper, and sell a lot more.

 

 

 

 

After staying off of TV for about six weeks, Rhodes returned while wearing a mask. He claimed to be scarred under the mask, but due to it being clear, we could see that no scars were there and the damage was all in his mind. He basically turned into Dr. Doom from Marvel Comics, as he hid his face as much as he could due to the fear of what people would think of him. This is where things get important.

 

After spending months caring only about his looks, Rhodes was now ashamed of them due to the severe damage he had suffered. The six months beforehand had laid the groundwork for the character that he had become, and the new character only would have this kind of impact with Cody portraying it. In short, it was a unique character that we had watched evolve over the previous few months into the person that we saw before us. These things combined to make Cody a successful and interesting character, as opposed to just being the son of Dusty Rhodes.

 

 

 

 

 

 



I Want To Talk A Little Bit About Passing The Torch And Rubs

 

 

First of all, Flair was already a big name. He was a two time NWA World Champion and was well established as a top guy. This is important to passing the torch because if you want someone like Race to go out, this is how you do it: to a guy that has proven he can do something already. Otherwise you might need to go to someone else which makes the moment weaker.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Enter Ric Flair, who in the words of Jim Cornette, made a career out of making other people look way better than they ever could have done on their own. So at the first Clash of the Champions, Sting fought Flair for the NWA Title and had him in the Scorpion when the bell rang and the time was up. Flair made Sting look AWESOME that night and Sting became a huge star because of it. Flair kept the title and would for a good while, but Sting was a major player all of a sudden. I think you get the idea.

 

 

I Want To Talk A Little Bit About Building A Storyline

 

 

 

This leads us to Wrestlemania and a match between Chris Jericho and Christian. There was one very important thing about this match above all other things: it was good. You can have the best story in the world, the best promos in the world, the best build in the world and all that, but if your match sucks it brings things WAY down. See Dusty vs. Flair in 1985 if you want more details on that.

 

 

Now the problem was that Christian got hurt in the cage and was out for months. They had a ladder match at Unforgiven for the vacant Intercontinental title which could have come earlier, but it was a good cap of to the feud, even though it was late. So at the end of everything, it was Jericho that came out with revenge as well as a championship, giving him something to be happy with.

 

 

 

All of the parts worked and had the right people in the roles, which is what makes a great story.



I Want To Talk A Little Bit About The Invasion

So lately I’ve been reviewing a lot of Invasion era stuff and some people have wanted to know how I would have booked it. I’ve got a little free time now so I figured I’d throw out my thoughts on it. I’m horrible at/don’t like fantasy booking but I’ll give it a shot here. First of all a few precursors.

1. I’m no professional. I’m a fan of over 20 years and I’ve watched a lot, but it’s like watching football and thinking you could coach the Rams: it sounds good on paper but by no means does it make it successful in real life.
2. I’m not going to go week by week and PPV by PPV. This is going to be more of a general overview and I’ll hit the high spots.
3. I’m going off the roster that was available based on the times they debuted. I’m going to assume that since they debuted, WWF could afford them. There’s no point in going into an “if you had anyone available” scenario because that wasn’t possible and such things get on my nerves.
4. I’m probably going to do this in one sitting and it’s almost 3am so if it’s a bit out there, let it go.
5. I probably won’t redo this unless I like it.
6. This is mostly going to be about WWF vs. WCW, because outside of RVD and maybe Rhyno, who in ECW was going to be a real threat to the WWF?
7. Let’s get to it.

Let’s begin with what was bad about the Invasion. In the order they come to me.

1. It Was Too Short.

This is a big one. We’re talking about the WWF vs. WCW. This is the debate that went on amongst almost all wrestling fans in the 80s and 90s. Which company is better? Which belt means more? Who would win in a fight between this guy and this guy? This is an argument that went on for almost twenty years….and the feud runs 5 months. In the words of a cartoon or movie that I can’t remember: Are you high or just really stupid? Think about this for a minute.

You’re the WWF and you have officially beaten your competition. As far as wrestling goes, you are the world. Nothing is going to touch you for a long time (11 years running) and you own all of the names, trademarks, footage and all that of your greatest competition. You have a fantasy booker’s dream at your fingertips, and you give it five months. This is a story that could have gone on for YEARS, but the WWF decided that it needed to end after less than a football season.

2. The Alliance Roster Was Treated Like Idiots.

I’ve been watching the Raws from this era and one thing becomes clear very fast: other than Booker T, no one on the WCW roster got an ounce of respect. I totally get the idea that the WWF should look dominant. It’s their company, they won the Monday Night Wars, they’re the ones that WCW is coming to. I get all that. What I DON’T get is why these guys were treated like clowns. Let’s flash back for a bit.

(Dang it I’m going to do this full on aren’t I?)

When the Invasion started, it was Lance Storm that was the first guy to run in. The second was I believe Hugh Morrus. Now I love Lance Storm, but he was in WCW for like 9 months. He came in June of 2000 so the company was dead by then. Morrus is famous for losing to Goldberg and being named Hugh G. Rection. These are the guys that start the Invasion? I know Booker came in at King of the Ring, but by that point things had already started slow.

On the other end of the time frame, let’s look at the end of the Invasion: Survivor Series 2001. For Team Alliance, we have Shane McMahon (heir to the WWF throne at the time), Kurt Angle (never set foot in WCW or wrestled in ECW), Steve Austin (the biggest star WWF ever produced (Hulkamania was made in Rocky III and the AWA)), Booker T (I know he was a career WCW guy and was their top star at the end, but in reality he was just the top guy because everyone else left) and Rob Van Dam (great choice, but the guy never even won their world title. That’s fine inside ECW, but to other fans who weren’t familiar, he’d sound like a midcarder).

So in other words, we have three WWF guys, a guy that got titles because he was all that was left, and a legit big time ECW star (although Taz would have been better). Why in the world would I think this was about WWF vs. WCW/ECW? It sounds like a regular heel faction. Ok so any team with that talent isn’t regular but you get the idea. It doesn’t sound like a merger of those two at all. Austin got fired by WCW for crying out loud. Do you think he’d just go back to them and everything would be cool?

3. The People They Could Have Had

This ties into it was too short. Let’s take a look at who came in after the Invasion. Keep in mind that for the sake of this, I’m assuming these people debuted at the earliest possible date to avoid contract/major money issues, meaning they couldn’t have arrived any earlier. We have:

Ric Flair: comes in THE NIGHT AFTER THE INVASION ENDS. Do I have to draw you people a picture? Who embodies WCW and their history more than Ric Flair? The answer doesn’t exist because no one does. Flair WAS WCW, and he comes in afterwards and has zero connection to them at all? If nothing else, have him be a representative and bring in friends to fight with him. They ran the exact same story they should have run with Flair owning Raw. But hey, it got Shane on TV all the time right?

The NWO: they arrived in February, about three months after the Invasion ended. These three were the original invaders and could have been great as a third party or part of the WCW team. Hogan could have been the ultimate free agent as he had great success in both companies. As an aside, why did Hogan vs. Austin never happen? If it’s money, you pay them whatever they want as you’ll make more than enough back in PPV buys and ad money for it. Anyway, these three could have been great, just as figureheads.

Eric Bischoff: HELLO! Do I even need to explain this one? The real boss of WCW comes in July of 2002 and is put in charge of one of the shows for over three years. Think he might have made a good WCW boss? I don’t think this one needs an explanation.

Scott Steiner: Now to be fair, he was injured for a long time which is why his debut was delayed. As another aside, who thought making Big Poppa Pump into a face was a good idea? The guy is as natural of a heel as there has ever been.

Goldberg: Here’s your explanation: Austin vs. Goldberg. Think that might sell a few tickets?

In other words, if you let the Invasion go on, you could have had a GREAT sequence of guys popping in and being the big boost to re-energize things. But hey, we needed Shane and Stephanie to get more TV time right? That leads up to another problem.

4. The McMahons

See, there’s this misconception out there that the Invasion was about two organizations teaming up to face off against the WWF. In reality, WCW, ECW, all their wrestlers and all their titles were pawns in the chess match of Vince vs. his children. Think about it: who was the focus of these angles? Vince, Shane and Stephanie. Why were they named the owners of the companies? For Shane, it was to one-up Vince during their feud around Wrestlemania. Stephanie, I’m still waiting on an answer. Was there ANY reason to not have Heyman be ECW’s owner? No? I didn’t think so.

5. This Was An Unnecessary Sequel

This is an easy one. The problem with the Invasion was that there was no need to see who was better between ECW and WCW. The fact that this was all happening on Raw and that they all worked for Vince was enough proof of that. Why do we need to do this again? The fans never really bought it I don’t think, which is where you lose fans in wrestling. If they don’t buy it, they’re not going to watch.

That sums up my issues with the Invasion. Now let’s get to how I would have gone about it.

First and foremost, things went too fast as I said. There are multiple reasons for this, but first and foremost it was due to HHH’s injury. From what I’ve found, HHH was supposed to do a slow face turn on Austin and face him at Summerslam in a blowoff match and probably win the title. Well obviously that didn’t happen and he was out for 9 months so they needed a new plan.

What I don’t get is why did they have to blow the Invasion off then? I mean, was there NOTHING else they could have run over the summer? What about that Jericho guy that was feuding with them and wasn’t hurt? I guess he couldn’t be champion or have 25 minute classics with Austin right? Angle was around and could have been a good rival to Austin. There were a lot of options but for some reason they went with potentially the biggest angle in history instead. Funny thing this WWF.

Now aside from that, we’re going to ignore the idea of WCW being its own show. This was the plan I believe but no network wanted it because WCW was such a damaged name and the reaction to Booker vs. Bagwell was so bad that it was clear that the WCW name wasn’t going to work anymore. That’s out.

So what would I have done?

Well to begin with, don’t have them be a unit at first. Just have them be like any other wrestlers that are coming in and integrate them into the show. You know, that old fashioned kayfabe non-sense that Vince Russo shot more bullet holes into than Bonnie and Clyde. Space out the debuts until the big named guys were already there.

See, where I think WWF really messed up was treating these guys like some big family in WCW that always got along. It’s the problem I have with Dreamer and Raven being such great friends in the Alliance. It makes the whole thing seem fake. Instead, have people come in one at a time and build their characters in WWF. This again ties into the It Was Too Short thing. Why did it feel like they were up against a clock here? There’s no time limit in wrestling.

I would have had guys slowly appear on Raw and Smackdown. Use the old system of having guys appear once in awhile then not appear then pop in and out and such like that. This way you can figure out which people the fans respond to, which work well with who, you have a short history to work with, all that good stuff. In other words, make these guys people the fans are all familiar with rather than just throwing out a bunch of guys you hope the fans care about.

The big criticism of the NWO was there were too many people and they were nothing without an NWO shirt on them. The same thing happened here. Why should I as a a WWF fan be worried about Hugh Morrus or Chuck Palumbo or Sean Stasiak? These guys haven’t accomplished anything here. More importantly, hardly anyone was watching WCW in its final year and ECW was only on nationally for a year, so how are most people going to be familiar with them?

So anyway, have guys come in one at a time and go from there. Don’t treat it as an invasion right off the bat. Instead have them be people and tag teams that are new around here. Then, after these people have been built up as threats with titles or whatever, then have them form into WCW. Let’s say that starts the night after Mania 18. The company is still a name, the bad taste it left is at least somewhat gone, and you have Flair and the NWO.

After that, you let things go as they did but with Flair/someone not named Shane as the WCW boss. Bring in ECW if you want and do what you want with them, but preferably don’t have them merge with WCW. That was so against Heyman’s character and history it’s unreal. Anyway, have the war go from let’s say 2002-2003 and culminate at Mania 19 with the main event being the WCW Champion (whomever that is) vs. the WWF Champion in a unification match and winner take all in the war.

Small aside: WHO IN THE WORLD DECIDED TO PUT THE UNIFICATION MATCH AT FREAKING VENGEANCE??? It’s the WWF Title unifying with the WCW Title to establish one champion of all and it’s at VENGEANCE??? Does the word WRESTLEMANIA mean nothing to anyone anymore? That’s still one of the biggest headscratchers I can ever think of in wrestling.

That’s about it really. Have it run about twice as long, build up the characters, and end it at Wrestlemania with Hogan vs. Austin for the Undisputed Title. Oh and don’t have Shane or Stephanie in it. They sucked in the entire thing.

 

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