Impact Wrestling – March 30, 2023: Never Before Seen Sideshow

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 30, 2023
Location: Globe Theater, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

This is a special show as it is really a big pre-show for the Multiverse United show taking place later tonight. Since that isn’t enough to carry two hours, there are also a few bonus matches from previous TV tapings. Impact has been rather entertaining lately but sometimes you need to shake things up a bit. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We run down the Multiverse United card, which is pretty stacked.

Santino Marella comes in to talk about the card, because when you think dream matches with Impact vs. New Japan, you want that accent and jokes about how he can’t get his words right.

Video on Mike Bailey vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi, with Tanahashi being Tanahashi and Bailey wanting to face one of the best ever.

Let’s look at one of those two in action. From new Japan Resurgence 2021.

IWGP US Heavyweight Title: Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Lance Archer

Archer is defending and sends Tanahashi outside to start. It works so well that he does it again and we’re clipped to Tanahashi getting clotheslined to the floor as Jon Moxley (with a beer in a nasty flashback) is watching at ringside. Archer hits a running flip dive off the apron and Tanahashi is whipped into the barricade.

Back in and three straight running shoulders crush Tanahashi in the corner but Archer stops to yell at Moxley. We’re clipped again to Archer scaring the referee and getting in a low blow but Tanahashi fights out of the chokeslam. A backsplash sets up a middle rope flipping backsplash but Archer kicks him in the face as we take a break.

Back with Tanahashi slipping out of a Black Out (having apparently already taken one). Tanahashi fights back and hits Twist and Shout, followed by a Sling Blade for two as we hit fifteen minutes in (about 12 show, including a commercial). Archer fights back and loads a chair in the corner but of course gets sent into it instead. A Black Hole Slam gives Archer two and we’re clipped to the two of them on top. Tanahashi knocks him down and hits back to back High Fly Flows for the pin and the title at 15:44 shown (of 19:26 and again, minus about 3:30 due to commercial).

Rating: B. Tanahashi might not be what he used to be but even a banged up and old Tanahashi is still better than just about anyone in the world. He knows exactly how to wrestle a monster like Archer and it is nearly impossible to not enjoy something about him. Very engaging match here as I wanted to see Tanahashi make the comeback. I’m sure the longer version is even better, as it tends to be.

Rocky Romero loves seeing the promotions working together and is ready to win another title tonight.

We take a quick look at Trey Miguel beating Lince Dorado at Sacrifice.

Video on Minoru Suzuki vs. Kenta vs. the New Japan Openweight Strong Title. For some reason, Suzuki, who earned the shot by pinning Kenta in the New Japan Cup, seems mad.

The hosts pick Kenta, but think both of them can be violent when they’re angry.

Fred Rosser replaces Santino and is ready for his eight man tag tonight.

We look at how Chris Bey and Ace Austin won the Tag Team Titles.

We also see the Motor City Machine Guns beating Bey and Austin at Against All Odds.

We look at the Motor City Machine Guns beating Austin and Bey at Overdrive.

We look at Aussie Open beating Austin and Bey on Impact. You might want to present your champs in a better light.

Austin and Bey did beat The Mighty Don’t Kneel at Sacrifice.

Rosser picks Austin and Bey to retain the titles.

We recap the mess left behind due to Mickie James suffering a broken rib. She isn’t going to vacate the title, but it comes down to her health status at Rebellion. If she is healthy, she’s in a title match but if not, it’s Jordynne Grace vs. the winner of tonight’s four way match.

James joins us and is sad about not getting to compete but we do have something to cheer her up: the Knockouts are the feature in this month’s Pro Wrestling Illustrated (somehow for the first time ever. She puts over the division and says she wanted to face Miyu Yamashita tonight, which sends us to another exclusive match.

From Windsor, Ontario, Canada.

Miyu Yamashita vs. Killer Kelly

Miyu powers her around to start before firing off the kicks. A big one to the chest drops Kelly, who looks somewhere between stunned and happy. One fan: “Kelly’s gonna kill you!” Miyu sweeps the leg again and gets two off a running kick to the chest. Kelly is back with some knees, only to get blasted with a clothesline for two. Some arm trap headbutts have Al Snow smiling somewhere and Kelly suplexes her into the corner.

It’s too early for the Killer Klutch though and Miyu hits a running kick to the face for a double knockdown. They slug it out from their knees and fight to the floor with Miyu getting the better of things. Miyu’s springboard something is broken up though and Kelly gets two off a fisherman’s suplex back inside. Kelly manages to pull her into the Killer Klutch but Miyu slips out and kicks her in the head (Skull Kick) for the pin at 10:14.

Rating: B-. Kelly continues to be someone who feels like she could be a big deal if she was given the chance. She has a unique look and feels creepy at times, which is a lot more than some can say. At the same time, Miyu came off like a more polished star (as she is) and that kick at the end looked great. Fun, hard hitting match here between two skilled women.

Here’s what’s coming on New Japan on AXS TV.

Tommy Dreamer joins us to talk about his issues with Bully Ray, setting up their team Hardcore War at rebellion.

We look at Bully Ray getting into a hockey fight with Darren McCarty at Sacrifice, resulting in Ray and the Good Hands putting him through a table. Then Scott D’Amore and company returned, with D’Amore giving Jason Hotch a Canadian Destroyer. Still probably not the best thing for a retired boss to do.

We preview Jeff Cobb vs. Moose in the Multiverse United hoss fight.

Dreamer picks Cobb because he hates Moose. That’s rather to the point.

Moose joins us from the arena to say that Tommy Dreamer is jealous about only accomplishing a fraction of what Moose has accomplished. As for Cobb, Moose knows he’ll bring it but Moose knows how to win. For some reason Moose sounded somewhere between sleepy and old here.

Post break Scott D’Amore joins us and invites D’Amore to join his team at Rebellion. D’Amore thankfully declines because he’s the President of the company. With Dreamer gone, D’Amore talks about Josh Alexander’s injury and is glad to have Lio Rush take Alexander’s place against Kushida tonight. We look at Kushida Hoverboard Locking Alexander at a recent show, with the hosts speculating that had something to do with Alexander’s injury (nice touch). Since Alexander is hurt, let’s take one more look at him defending the title.

From Las Vegas, Nevada.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Kenta vs. Josh Alexander

Alexander is defending and backs Kenta (with a bad shoulder) into the corner to start. A quick ankle lock sends Kenta bailing to the ropes and he’s able to send Alexander face first into the buckle to take over. We take a break and come back with Kenta kicking away and looking down at Alexander like a heel should. Alexander fights up and gets knocked to the floor, followed by a neckbreaker to give Kenta two back inside.

Another comeback is cut off with the tornado DDT across the top rope. A top rope clothesline gives Kenta two and he knocks Alexander to the apron. Back in and Alexander managers to power him into the corner as we take another break. We come back with Alexander taking him down for two and they slowly get up. An exchange of hard shots to the face put both of them down, followed by another slugout.

Kenta manages a hanging DDT and a running basement dropkick in the corner. A top rope double stomp gets two more and Kenta rips off the champ’s headgear. GTS is countered into the ankle lock but Kenta reverses into a rollup. A running knee gets two on Alexander but he blasts Alexander with a forearm. The C4 Spike retains the title at 21:50.

Rating: B. This was the long form match between two guys who can beat each other up. Kenta can be a heel rather well and he’s come a long way since the Hideo Itami days. At the same time, it’s sad to see Alexander still being able to go in the ring here because he wouldn’t be able to defend/lose the title because of his injury. Either way, good match here which would have been a lot of fun for the live crowd.

Scott D’Amore is sad about Alexander, who has to show up next week to vacate the title.

One more Multiverse United rundown ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a weird show as the wrestling worked well and it was nice to see something new, but the rest of the show was literally a big discussion about/commercial for Multiverse United. The bonus matches helped but you very easily could have skipped this one and not missed much. At least it was just a one off and we get the big show later tonight, so it’s hardly some horrible idea.

Results
Hiroshi Tanahashi b. Lance Archer – High Fly Flow
Miyu Yamashita b. Killer Kelly – Skull Kick
Josh Alexander b. Kenta – C4 Spike

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 23, 2023: Leave The Memories Alone

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 23, 2023
Location: Sam’s Town Live, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

It is the night before Sacrifice and we are eight days away from Multiverse United. That means it is time to build up both shows at the last minute, as there is still some work that needs to be done. The good thing is that both shows already have quite a bit set and now the final touches can be applied. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Steve Maclin vs. Josh Alexander, including Maclin costing Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian a six man tag last week.

Opening sequence.

The Design vs. Time Machine

Callihan is here with the Design. Kushida squares up to Kon to start but Sabin comes in as well, allowing Kon to clothesline both of them down. Deaner comes in and gets struck down by the Guns, only to take Sabin into the wrong corner. It’s off to Angels to trade chops with Sabin before a leg lariat puts Sabin down. Sabin ties Angels up though and Kushida/Shelley kick Angels’ arms out to take over.

There’s a running hesitation dropkick in the corner to hit Angels again and Shelley stays on the bad arm. Kushida snaps the arm across the top and it’s off to a double arm crank. Sabin comes back in but gets taken into the wrong corner so Angels can choke a bit. A sunset flip gets two on Deaner and Sabin dives over to Kushida for the tag. House is quickly cleaned and everything breaks down, with Kushida and Shelley taking over on Deaner’s arm for a change.

The handspring kick knocks Kon off the apron and Kushida hits a big dive to the floor to take out a variety of people. We take a break and come back with Angels (favoring his arm) and Kushida trading their forearms. Deaner kicks Kushida in the head and Kon’s spinebuster sets up Angel’s frog splash for two. A double clothesline Doomsday Device gets two on Kushida as Shelley makes the save.

Everything breaks down again and Angels is left alone, setting up a triple Dream Sequence. A triple kick in the head looks to set up Skull And Bones but Deaner makes the save. Hold on though as Callihan gets in to protect Deaner, leaving Callihan to get taken down as well. Angel’s dive is loaded up but he gets pulled into the Hoverboard Lock. Sabin kicks the arm away from the ropes and Angels taps at 18:50.

Rating: C+. Well that was….long. I’m not sure why anyone thinks there is a need for a Design match to go nearly twenty minutes but thankfully Time Machine was there to balance things out a bit. The action was fine but I can’t understand what is supposed to be interesting about the Design. It would be great to finally get to whatever they’re setting up with Callihan, because there has been almost nothing interesting so far and I have no reason to believe that is going to change.

The Coven is happy to be the new Knockouts Tag Team Champions and like magic.

Raj Singh and Shera are rich and like it in Las Vegas. The former is so rich that he’s now Champagne Singh as we just keep up the stereotypes.

Eddie Edwards is in the back with Kenny King and talks about how he has to get rid of PCO. That’s why he has brought in help, with King talking about how they realized they needed each other at Jay Briscoe’s mama’s house. PCO was never family like them, so King is going to take PCO out at Sacrifice.

Savannah Evans vs. Deonna Purrazzo

Gisele Shaw and Jai Vidal are here with Evans. Purrazzo slugs away to start but gets shoved down without much effort. There’s a running splash to crush Purrazzo in the corner and Evans throws her right back out. Purrazzo manages to snap off a running hurricanrana though and Evans crashes out to the floor. The baseball slide drops Evans again but a Shaw distraction lets Evans send Purrazzo into various things.

We take a break and come back with Purrazzo still in trouble as Shaw is rather pleased. A running shoulder in the corner sets up a butterfly suplex as Purrazzo is getting crushed here. The chinlock goes on as Shaw’s slapping the mat over and over again sounds like someone knocking on a door.

Purrazzo fights up and gets a boot up in the corner before going after the arm. That doesn’t work so Purrazzo hits a running knee into a Russian legsweep. Now the Fujiwara armbar can go on, with Evans making it over to the rope. Back up and Evans snaps off a suplex but gets kicked in the head. Evans is sent to the apron but the distractions are on. Evans accidentally kicks Vidal down and Purrazzo gets rid of Shaw, setting up a crucifix to pin Evans at 13:51.

Rating: C. This was another long match and mostly a squash until Purrazzo beat up two people at once to beat Evans. Purrazzo is geared up for her match with Shaw at Sacrifice and now we should be in for a showdown tomorrow night. Evans continues to look like a monster for most of her matches but then comes up short in the end, which could go somewhere in the future.

Post match Evans lays Purrazzo out and Shaw helps out with the beating. This goes on for a bit and no one saves Purrazzo.

Flashback Moment Of The Week (They still do these?): The Motor City Machine Guns b. Team 3D and Beer Money at Sacrifice 2010.

The Death Dollz are mad at losing the Knockouts Tag Team Titles with Taya Valkyrie trying to calm the other two down. They need a new plan! Jessika isn’t having that and goes after the Coven right now, only to find….a casket. Jessika opens it up and finds….well we’re not sure as Taya slams it shut. A hand reaches out of the casket and pulls Taya in. Where to you ask? AEW.

Bully Ray/Masha Slamovich vs. Tommy Dreamer/Mickie James

For those of you who needed a preview of Dreamer vs. Ray. The men start things off with Ray going after Mickie instead. Ray wants Mickie to come in and she does exactly that after about a minute of staring. Slamovich comes in for the slugout about two minutes in but Mickie plants her with a flapjack. It’s off to Dreamer for some arm cranking before Mickie comes back in, only to have Ray pull her down by the hair.

Ray comes in for a slam as commentary is quiet for a lot of long stretches. Mickie slips away though and hands it back to Dreamer for right hands in the corner. A cutter gives Dreamer two with Slamovich making the save. The top rope seated senton drops Slamovich and Mickie plays D-Von with a WHAT’S UP (ax handle version). Everything breaks down and Ray loads up a table as Mickie dives onto Slamovich. The distraction lets Ray hit Dreamer low, setting up a piledriver for the pin at 9:26.

Rating: C. This worked when Mickie and Masha were in there, with Ray being ok enough. I’m completely with caring about anything Dreamer does, but at least his stuff was kept short. What mattered here was having the two matches set up, as strange as it is that seeing Ray pin Dreamer before they have a first blood match. Then again having them in what is very possibly the main event of a show in 2023 is strange enough.

Post match Ray loads up a powerbomb on James but here is Jordynne Grace to break it up. Grace and Ray stare each other down and Grace spears….Mickie by mistake as Ray moves.

Rich Swann and Frankie Kazarian are in the back with Swann being upset about last week. Kazarian wants him to go find Josh Alexander and settle this now. Post break Swann goes into Alexander’s locker room and finds Steve Maclin. Swann yells, with Maclin saying maybe Alexander wanted him here. Swann is confused.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Dirty Dango/Joe Hendry vs. Moose/Brian Myers

Before the match, Dango insists that we believe in Hendry and the fans seem pleased. Hendry headlocks Myers to start and then runs him over with a shoulder. A delayed suplex drops Myers and Dango comes in as Myers rolls into the corner. Moose comes in and takes Dango into the corner but Hendry comes in to clear the ring. Hendry and Dango have two words for us….but Dango has to be reminded that they aren’t SUCK IT.

We take a break and come back with Moose sending Dango into the corner and knocking Hendry off the apron. Myers drops Dango as the alternating beatdowns continue. Moose charges into a boot in the corner though and a middle rope corkscrew uppercut gives Dango a breather. The tag brings in Hendry to clean house and a pop up powerbomb gets two on Myers. Everything breaks down and Moose spears Hendry down. Myers’ Roster Cut finishes Hendry at 13:44.

Rating: C+. Nice tag match here which set up the title match on Friday. Hendry continues to feel like a star and someone who could be a big deal if he is given the chance at some point down the line. Seeing him get pinned in a tag match is kind of a big deal as Hendry has been such a star, but he’ll be fine if he retains the title at Sacrifice.

Josh Alexander goes into his locker room and finds Rich Swann, who wants to know why Steve Maclin was here. Alexander, who is remarkably calm about two people apparently having been in his locker room, is off to find out what is going on here.

Here is Josh Alexander to talk about Steve Maclin. Alexander has seen Maclin leave a trail of bodies around here and he can respect that. What he can’t respect is the allegation that he is ducking Maclin. All that makes Maclin is someone complaining and a…..forgotten son. Cue Maclin to say that yes he is afraid to fail because he doesn’t want to go all the way back to the bottom.

He is obsessed with winning the Impact World Title and we see clips of Maclin watching Alexander’s matches from the shadows during his title reign. Alexander says he respects Maclin so bring it on right now. Maclin says nah, because he’s going to do it in Alexander’s hometown at Rebellion.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling wasn’t great here but it did a nice enough job of building up Sacrifice. That is trickier than it seems though, as the show isn’t the biggest in the world. The main event very well may be Dreamer vs. Ray, as the only other real option is Mickie vs. Grace. Once that is out of the way though, we’re on to Rebellion and that should work well.

So……you might need to forget a good bit of this show, as both Josh Alexander (torn tricep) and Mickie James (undisclosed) are injured and have been forced to vacate their titles. The Knockouts Title will be determined at Sacrifice and the World Title at Rebellion, with Steve Maclin facing Kushida. No word on what happens to the Multiverse United card. Egads that’s horrible, as they might have just lost their two top stars at once.

Results
Time Machine b. The Design – Hoverboard Lock to Angels
Deonna Purrazzo b. Savannah Evans – Crucifix
Bully Ray/Masha Slamovich b. Mickie James/Tommy Dreamer – Piledriver to Dreamer
Moose/Brian Myers b. Dirty Dango/Joe Hendry – Roster Cut to Hendry

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 16, 2023: The Balancing Act

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 16, 2023
Location: Sam’s town Live, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

Sacrifice is next week and the card, while is looking a bit stacked, is coming together. That means we are likely to get some more build towards Tommy Dreamer vs. Bully Ray this week, as that is likely headlining the show. Otherwise, the six man tag featuring Time Machine should see some more setup as well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

In the desert, PCO screams for Eddie Edwards to come fight him.

Opening sequence.

Mike Bailey/Jonathan Gresham vs. Decay

Steve has to bail to the ropes to escape Gresham to start but a bite of the hand has Gresham in trouble. Bailey comes in and is sent outside just as fast, leaving Decay to double team Gresham down in the corner. Gresham gets sent into the corner but forearms/dropkicks his way to freedom. Bailey comes in to backflip a bit and kicks Steve down. There’s the running shooting star for two on Steve…who bites on Bailey’s boot.

The boot is fine enough for the bouncing kicks but Steve hits a clothesline for the double knockdown. Taurus comes in for his huge backbreaker into a pop up Samoan drop for two on Bailey. Everything breaks down and Gresham sends Steve outside, leaving Bailey to kick Taurus in the head for one. Steve and Gresham fight on the floor as Bailey hits the spinning kick, setting up the Ultimate Weapon for the pin on Taurus at 6:19.

Rating: C+. This was shorter than I was expecting but Bailey didn’t managed to no sell a bad knee so he is doing better than usual. Other than that, it was the partners who don’t quite like each other teaming together to beat a midcard team, which isn’t a horrible stretch. Bailey is a popular enough star to carry the opener, and the Ultimate Weapon does look painful so had a nice start here.

Post match Gresham and Bailey seem a bit testy with each other but respect is shown.

Josh Alexander, Frankie Kazarian and Rich Swann are ready for the Bullet Club tonight. They’ve been successful on their own and now it’s time to succeed together. They trust each other, but here is Steve Maclin to interrupt, with Swann not seeming pleased.

Gisele Shaw says she didn’t lost last week and blames Deonna Purrazzo. Revenge is coming at Sacrifice. Johnny Swinger and Zicky Dice come in and suggest Swinger faces….interviewer Gia Miller? Instead, he’ll face Jai Vidal.

Steve Maclin vs. Heath

Heath starts fast with some running forearms but gets sent into the corner to cut him off. Maclin runs him over with a good shot to the face until a backdrop sends him to the floor. We take a break and come back with Maclin beating him up at ringside and choking on the rope. A backbreaker gives Maclin two and we hit the abdominal stretch. Heath fights out and slugs away, including the jumping knee and powerslam for two. Maclin cuts off a bulldog though and ties him in the Tree of Woe, setting up the spear. KIA finishes Heath at 12:04.

Rating: C+. I’m still kind of amazed at what Heath has been doing in Impact as he has turned into a rather reliable in-ring star without doing much of the comedy. Granted he never really got the chance to show what he could do so maybe this has been there all along. That being said, this was all about getting Maclin another win on his path to the World Title shot and that went well.

The Death Dollz are ready to retain the Knockout Tag Team Titles but Taya says Jessika might be too much of a liability. Taya and Rosemary can handle this themselves, which (after Jessika leaves), seems to be because they think Jessika could be swayed.

PCO has walked from the desert to Las Vegas, shouting or Eddie on the way.

Jonathan Gresham calls Mike Bailey his sidekick but Bailey says he isn’t forgetting Gresham beating him. They’ll run it back at Sacrifice.

Johnny Swinger vs. Jai Vidal

Zicky Dice, Savannah and Gisele Shaw are all here too. Swinger doesn’t think much of Vidal to start and his offer of a test of strength is answered with a dropkick. Vidal drops an elbow to send Swinger into the corner but a charge misses. Dice grabs Vidal’s leg and gets ejected, with the distraction letting Swinger choke on the rope. Evans breaks up the camel clutch and gets ejected, along with Shaw. Cue Deonna Purrazzo to jump Shaw, leaving Vidal to hit a running dropkick to finish Swinger at 3:22.

Rating: C. Total comedy match here and yeah it worked well, as does almost everything that Swinger does. Having him lose over and over is a funny idea, as he is still trying to find someone he can beat. Vidal was fine enough in the ring, but this was all about Swinger (and Purrazzo in the end) and he delivered.

Deaner talks about Callihan’s sixth step when Callihan storms in to yell about last week. Callihan’s sixth step is about taking punishment, which he’ll do. Deaner seems to have an idea. Here’s an idea: WRAP THIS STORY UP ALREADY!

PCO arrives at the arena, still screaming for Eddie Edwards.

Mickie James comes up to Tommy Dreamer, who has requested that they have a mixed tag against Bully Ray and Masha Slamovich next week. Jordynne Grace comes in to say this is a bad idea and promises that she’s still coming for the title.

Here is Eddie Edwards for a chat. He has been thinking a lot and is ready to let the past be in the past. Everything that has happened before is over and it is time for him to focus on himself and his future in Impact. We look at someone in a car saving Eddie from PCO last week and…here is PCO. Before he can make it to the ring though, Kenny King comes up from behind and hits him with a shovel, allowing Edwards to come up for the double team.

Commentary speculates that King was driving Edwards’ getaway car last week before PCO sits up on the ramp. The brawl is on and PCO gets crushed between the steps and post. That’s broken up and PCO (bleeding from the back of the head) cleans house, only to have King grab a Blockbuster. The chair is put over PCO’s head and Edwards crushes it with a kendo stick. This isn’t going to end well for them is it?

Santino Marella is in the back with….Vladimir Kozlov of all people. They’re happy to be back together and then Kozlov leaves. Dirty Dango comes in and can’t say Kozlov’s name. That’s enough for SAY HIS NAME AND HE APPEARS, so here is Joe Hendry, who wants Brian Myers. Santino makes the match so Dango can gush over what a Hendry fan he is. It’s such a big deal that Santino makes Hendry and Dango against Myers and Moose.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: The Coven vs. Death Dollz

The Dollz (Rosemary/Taya Valkyrie) are defending and Jessika is here with them. Taya crossbodies King down to start and hands it off to Rosemary for a suplex. Wilde comes in to slug away, earning a bite to the hear from Rosemary. Everything breaks down and the Coven is clotheslined to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Rosemary fighting out of a chinlock but getting pulled down by the hair. Wilde chokes in the corner but Rosemary manages a quick Upside Down. King is knocked away and the hot tag brings in Taya to clean house. The running hip attack and running knees in the corner hit King for two but Wilde hits a Fameasser over the ropes. Everything breaks down but King breaks up the Road To Valhalla. Instead Wilde hits a kick to the head and King’s pumphandle flipping faceplant connects for the pin and the titles at 11:32.

Rating: C+. Taya appearing on this week’s Dynamite didn’t exactly help with the result but well done on trying to make some new stars out of nowhere. Wilde has been trying to find her way back to prominent since her return and King has only been around for a few weeks. Nice match too, without Jessika playing into the finish as they seemed to telegraph.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Josh Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian vs. Bullet Club

Kazarian flips out of Bey’s wristlock to start but Bey kicks him into the corner. There’s a running chop and it’s Austin coming in. That’s fine with Kazarian, who sends Bey outside and grabs Austin’s arm. Swann comes in and is quickly dropped with a springboard dropkick, allowing Austin to grab a headlock (as is the customary followup to a springboard missile dropkick). That’s broken up as well and it’s off to Kenta vs. Alexander, which has the fans’ approval. They slowly slug it out until everything breaks down, with Bullet Club being sent to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Bey kicking Swann in the head and motioning that Swann is asleep. Austin and Bey use some precision kicks to put Swann down for two but Bey misses a legdrop. Kenta isn’t having any of this tagging stuff though and kicks Swann right back down. Swann manages a kick though and it’s Kazarian coming back in to really clean house.

Everything breaks down and Alexander comes in to strike on Bey. The hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb on Bey and Swann adds the middle rope 450. Austin makes the save and it’s time for the exchange of kicks to the head. Swann flips off the apron onto Swann but gets taken down by Bey.

The slingshot dive is loaded up but Kazarian pulls bey out of the air into a cutter onto the pile (that was great). Back in and Swann hits an ax kick to Bey and Kazarian adds the slingshot DDT to Austin. Kenta knees Swann down but gets dropped by Alexander. Cue Steve Maclin for a distraction though and Alexander gets kicked down. The Art of Finesse into the Fold finishes Swann at 17:57.

Rating: B. This was rolling by the end and the Maclin distraction was about all they could have done to get out of this without something rather screwy. You don’t want the new champs winning and Kenta probably isn’t getting pinned, so having Maclin there was the best way out. Rather good match too, with talented wrestlers getting time to do what they can.

Overall Rating: B-. Impact is somehow managing to build towards three shows (granted one of them is in name only for the most part) at once and thankfully they didn’t bother with that much about Tommy Dreamer vs. Bully Ray. That feud doesn’t need any more time and hopefully they can have their match and move on (yeah I know there’s no way that’s it). Other than that, you had some build towards Sacrifice, which is looking rather strong. Good show this week, as we should be in for a nice few weeks coming up.

Results
Mike Bailey/Jonathan Gresham b. Decay – Ultimate Weapon to Black Taurus
Steve Maclin b. Heath – KIA
Jai Vidal b. Johnny Swinger – Running dropkick
The Coven b. Death Dollz – Pumphandle flipping faceplant to Valkyrie
Bullet Club b. Josh Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian – Fold to Swann

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Impact Wrestling – March 9, 2023: There’s Good And Bad

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 9, 2023
Location: Sam’s Town Live, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

We are on our way to a trio of shows with Sacrifice, Multiverse United and Rebellion, which makes for quite the packed series of builds. That got started last week with a little something for each show getting time, but they are going to have to do it again for the next few weeks. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Here is Bully Ray to get things going. At No Surrender, Tommy Dreamer used the words “someone like me” (meaning Ray). What did he mean when he said that? Did he mean a two time Hall of Famer or half of the greatest tag team ever? Maybe a two time World Champion?

Ray wishes he knew what Dreamer meant, because he threw hot coffee into Dreamer’s face. Dreamer wants a Busted Open match at Sacrifice but there is no way Dreamer is making it there. Cue Santino Marella to call Bully “Bobby Ray” and say that Dreamer will be at Sacrifice. It was only a minor burn to his balls….er, eyeball so he’ll be fine.

Cue Bhupinder Gujjar to speak Hindi and issue a challenge for right now. Santino makes the match and we’re on. This Santino stuff is getting REALLY old as he’s still doing the same “gee I sure do talk funny” shtick, which can be charming for all of 12 seconds before you realize that he’s making the crowd chuckle over what was supposed to be a serious angle.

Bhupinder Gujjar vs. Bully Ray

Ray’s chain shot doesn’t work to start so he clotheslines Gujjar down instead. Gujjar gets up and yells a lot, seemingly inviting Ray to hit him. Ray’s right hands are shrugged off and Gujjar dropkicks him down. Ray catches him on top though and loads up the chain, which takes too long as well, allowing Gujjar to get in a shot of his own. Gujjar loads up the chain but gets low blowed for the DQ at 3:31.

Rating: D+. Remember when Gujjar was looking like he could be something? Well now he’s cannon fodder in the star making feud between Bully Ray and Tommy Dreamer. This was hardly a high energy match and was much more about Ray trying to get out of having the actual match. Nothing to see here, but thank goodness Ray got his time in.

Post match Ray chains Gujjar in the back but Tommy Dreamer comes in for the save (Why didn’t he come out earlier?). Cue Masha Slamovich to hit Dreamer low but Mickie James makes the save. The women brawl until Dreamer gets up to chase Ray off with a chair.

PCO is next to a grave with a shovel and screams for Eddie Edwards to come fight him.

Josh Alexander comes up to Rich Swann and gets him on his team for a six man at Sacrifice. Steve Maclin comes in but Swann says this isn’t about him. Frankie Kazarian comes in and Maclin leaves, with Kazarian seemingly joining Swann and Alexander at Sacrifice.

Callihan vs. Rhino

The Design and Heath are here too. They trade shoulders to start and neither goes anywhere. The fight heads outside with Callihan raking the eyes and posting him to take over. A Russian legsweep on the ramp puts Rhino down again and the seconds get in an argument. We take a break and come back with Rhino hitting a TKO for two, followed by a belly to belly. A hard clothesline out of the corner cuts Rhino off but it’s too early for the Cactus Driver 97. Angels grabs Callihan’s foot though and Khan adds a chair to the face, allowing Rhino to hit the Gore for the pin at 10:11.

Rating: C. This was as good as a ten minute Rhino vs. Callihan match was going to be as there is only so much the two of them are going to pull off. Rhino is still able to have a watchable enough match and it is nice to see him get a win here. At the same time, the Callihan/Design stuff is still pretty horrible and it needs to wrap up soon. It won’t, but it needs to.

Trey Miguel interrupts Dirty Dango and Santino Marella in the back, asking what they’re going to do for him. That works for Santino, who makes Miguel vs. a handpicked opponent at Sacrifice, plus a six way match for the X-Division Title at Multiverse United. Johnny Swinger and Zicky Dice come in to see if Miguel is as tall as Sky Low Low. With Miguel gone, Swinger asks about facing Dango, who says he’s the assistant Director of Authority. Swinger and Dice leave, so Marella says that isn’t Dango’s job. Dango: “It’s not a job. It’s a way of life.”

During the break, Callihan was mad at the Design but was told that was step #6.

Jordynne Grace vs. Alex Gracia

Grace powers her into the corner to start as we hear about Grace competing as a bodybuilder. A German suplex out of the corner gets two on Gracia but the Grace Driver is blocked. Instead Grace grabs a torture rack spin into a powerbomb. Now the Grace Driver finishes Gracia off at 2:26.

Moose comes up to Joe Hendry, who is telling jokes to a bunch of fans. Brian Myers jumps Hendry from behind and the big beatdown is on.

The Bullet Club, complete with Kenta, come in to mock Josh Alexander/Frankie Kazarian/Rich Swann. The six man is set for next week. Alexander mocks Ace Austin and Chris Bey for being overly excited about being the Tag Team Champions, which doesn’t sit well with the champs.

Jonathan Gresham vs. Kushida

They go technical to start (yes really) with neither being able to get very far. Instead they shake hands and spin around a lot while fighting over arm control. Neither gets very far so Kushida takes it to the mat and rides him a bit. Gresham reverses into a hammerlock on the mat but Kushida gets to his feet, with Gresham still cranking away. It’s finally broken up and Kushida stomps on Gresham’s hand but Gresham is right back with another armbar.

Kushida’s armbar sends Gresham to the rope so Kushida dropkicks the arm to keep him in trouble. Gresham is right back with la majistral for two so he tries it again, only to get reversed into a cradle to give Kushida two of his own. Back up and Kushida sends him into the ropes, which bangs up Gresham’s arm again. The Hoverboard Lock makes Gresham tap at 10:04.

Rating: B-. This was the technical match that you knew it would be and it made Kushida look that much better because he beat someone on his level. Both of them are established names but Kushida is on his way to the World Title shot at Multiverse United so he needed the win here. Good match, and different from everything else on the show.

Eddie Edwards goes to the grave where PCO called him out. That sounds like a very bad idea.

Here is Killer Kelly to sit in a chair and call out Taylor Wilde. Cue Wilde, who says this isn’t about Kelly but rather the future. Kelly doesn’t think much of Wilde telling the future with cards, because she controls her own destiny. Taylor pulls out the tower card and it’s KiLynn King coming in from behind to chair Kelly down. A Death Valley Driver plants Kelly again. I’ve liked King in the past so this is interesting.

Still at the grave, PCO swings his shovel at a rock.

The Death Dollz teleport in to console Killer Kelly, with Rosemary telling her that she needs to grasp the darker realm. Kelly doesn’t seem convinced but says she can handle a 2-1 situation herself. With Kelly gone, KiLynn King and Taylor Wilde come in to make the Knockouts Tag Team Titles challenge. Rosemary is in, if King and Wilde agree to give up the dark arts if they lose. Deal.

Eddie Edwards arrives at the grave but there is no PCO. Then PCO pops up behind him but misses the big swing with the shovel. They fight a bit and PCO sends him into a rock. Eddie manages to grab the shovel but PCO drops him with a reverse DDT (as you do in a fight by a grave). PCO sends him into the grave but here’s a car to run PCO over. Eddie gets in the car and rides away but we never see who is driving.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Knockouts Title: Gisele Shaw vs. Mickie James

Shaw, with Jai Vidal and Savannah Evans, is challenging and Deonna Purrazzo is on commentary. Mickie takes her down with a headlock to start but gets reversed into a headscissors. Back up and they fight over wrist control until Mickie sends her outside for a crash to send us to a break.

We come back with Shaw sending her into the corner to take over. Mickie’s Thesz press gives her a breather though and they slowly slug it out. Shaw gets the better of things and grabs a reverse chinlock to keep James down. Back up and Shaw charges into a boot in the corner, allowing Mickie to hurricanrana her out. The comeback is on but Mickie has to dive onto the goons on the floor.

Shaw gets in a cheap shot to take over again though and the chops have Mickie in trouble in the corner. A pull of the hair drops Mickie again but she explodes out of the corner for the double knockdown. Mickie strikes away and hits a flapjack as the referee seems to tell her how much time is left. The top rope Thesz press gets two on Shaw but Vidal’s distraction breaks up the MickieDT. Purrazzo breaks that up so Shaw grabs a rollup, only to have Purrazzo turn it back over so Mickie can retain at 17:00.

Rating: B-. This match got a lot of time and the ending seems to bring Purrazzo either into the title picture or in line for a showdown with Shaw (or perhaps both). For now though, these two had a good match, with Shaw holding up her end and James being her usual awesome self. It felt like a big time main event and that is a hard trick to pull off a lot of the time.

Overall Rating: C+. This show got better as it went on but there were definitely some rocky points. There are some parts here which just aren’t very good and give me no reason to want to see what happens in them from week to week. Stuff such as Ray vs. Dreamer and the Design/Callihan stuff is just there with few positives to either of them and it hurts to watch them. Then on the other hand you have the solid Knockouts division and the main event feuds, though a lot of that seems to be on hold until we get closer to the build to Rebellion. For now though, the bad stuff gets bailed out, as the positives are quite positive.

Results
Bhupinder Gujjar b. Bully Ray via DQ when Ray hit him low
Rhino b. Callihan – Gore
Jordynne Grace b. Alex Gracia – Grace Driver
Kushida b. Jonathan Gresham – Hoverboard Lock
Mickie James b. Gisele Shaw – Rollup

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 2, 2023: They Needed Some New Blood

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 2, 2023
Location: Sam’s Town Hotel & Gambling Hall, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

We are done with No Surrender and that means we are at least one step closer to Rebellion in April. Josh Alexander is still the World Champion after retaining over Rich Swann, but now Steve Maclin is waiting on the champ. That should make for a good buildup and they have time to make it work. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of No Surrender.

Here is the Bullet Club for a chat to start. Chris Bey is rather happy about what he and Ace Austin have been doing lately, including beating the Motor City Machine Guns (in a six man tag) at No Surrender. Bey talks about helping set up the ring in this building before making his Impact Wrestling debut here as well. It turns out that Austin debuted here too but he would rather talk about beating Chris Sabin.

After revealing Austin’s “I BEAT CHRIS SABIN”, we get a quick audience poll over who the best team around here really is. Cue the Motor City Machine Guns, with Sabin asking how long the Club has been together. The Guns have been around since 2006 and they’re still the champs. The Club says that is just because they haven’t gotten a fair shot. Maybe they could fix that at Sacrifice? The Guns talk about how they are still the best team and offer the title match tonight. Game/match on.

Shane Haste, who is going to be part of Multiverse United on March 30, he is ready to take out Mike Bailey tonight. He even throws in some karate moves.

Rich Swann cuts off a question about his loss at No Surrender to admit that yes, he did lose. That doesn’t sit well with him but he isn’t going to let that loss define him. He wants the World Title back but here are Raj Singh and Shera, the former of which has a lot of money that he keeps handing out. Swann isn’t happy and is ready to fight Shera but Singh calms it down and wants to hit the casino instead.

Mike Bailey vs. Shane Haste

Bailey takes him down to start and they grapple on the mat until Haste has to duck a big kick. A snapmare sets up a basement dropkick to the back of Bailey’s head but he strikes his way out of trouble. The bouncing kicks send Haste to the apron but he’s fine enough to drop Bailey onto the apron. Bailey’s head is crushed against the post before Haste takes him back inside for a Saito suplex.

We take a break and come back with Haste still hammering away but getting shoved off the top. A missile dropkick hits Haste and Bailey gets to kick away. Haste kicks him in the face though and suplexes him into a cutter for two. Bailey fights back and sends him outside for a springboard moonsault. One heck of a dropkick sets up a sitout Last Ride for two on Bailey back inside. Bailey counters a fireman’s carry into a poisonrana though and a superkick drops Haste again. The Ultimate Weapon finishes Haste at 14:40.

Rating: C+. This was a hard hitting match that made Haste look good but Bailey is too big of a star to lose here. Haste is someone who will be around at Multiverse United and then leave while Bailey is likely to be around a lot longer. It wouldn’t surprise me to see Bailey in the World Title hunt sooner rather than later so he isn’t losing here.

The Design is in the back when Rhino comes in. Rhino doesn’t like what the team does and he won’t let them do it to Sami Callihan. Cue Callihan to say he’s where he wants to be, so Rhino says he’ll knock some sanity into Callihan. Deaner calls this step #6.

Kenny King vs. Kevin Knight

King isn’t interested in a handshake and elbows Knight in the face instead. Knight is back up and knocks King outside, which means a missed dive with King sidestepping him in a not quite Samoa Joe counter. King tries to throw him back in but gets caught with a dive. Back in for real this time and King strikes him down for two before grabbing the reverse chinlock.

The swinging backbreaker gets two on Knight and we’re off to a camel clutch. Knight is back up with some rollups for two each, followed by a pump kick. A springboard spinning crossbody gives Knight two but King grabs a spinebuster for the same. The Royal Flush gives King the pin at 6:01.

Rating: C. Knight is someone who has potential but for now he is in need of ring time. He wrestles an exciting enough style and can work with anyone, though King seems like he is on the way to a title shot sooner than later. This was a completely watchable match, though it didn’t come near the next level.

We look at Kushida holding Josh Alexander in the Hoverboard Lock during the pin in a tag match at New Japan Battle In The Valley.

Josh Alexander is read to face Kushida at Rebellion. First though, he has to get by Kushida at Multiverse United, but first he wants a six man tag at Sacrifice. It can be Kushida/the Motor City Machine Guns against Alexander and whomever he can find. Cue Steve Maclin to say keep the title safe until Rebellion.

We look at Bully Ray throwing coffee at Tommy Dreamer at No Surrender.

The doctor tells Santino Marella and Dirty Dango about Dreamer’s condition. Bully Ray comes in to make sure Dreamer will live so he can beat Dreamer up. Bhupinder Gujjar comes in to yell at Ray, who doesn’t have time for this because Gujjar won’t be relevant in ten years. Gujjar grabs him by the sweatshirt and says Dreamer is his friend. Ray can respect that…and then slaps him in the face.

Here is Mickie James to be glad about retaining her Knockouts Title against Masha Slamovich at No Surrender. No one said she could do it but then she did it. Now though, there is a little bit of controversy as Jordynne Grace is saying Mickie tapped out at Hard To Kill. Mickie has been saying that since she got done with Masha…and here are Gisele Shaw and company to interrupt.

Shaw says Mickie is going after Grace to hide from the real challenger and ducking her. Mickie brings up that she beat Shaw already, but Shaw says that wasn’t THIS version of her. We hear about how great Shaw is and she says she’s waiting for Mickie when Mickie is done with Grace. Mickie is ready to fight now but Shaw isn’t in her gear. That’s the difference between a diva and a woman as Mickie still wants to fight, so here is Gail Kim to make the match.

Moose comes in to see Brian Myers and says he wants to humiliate Joe Hendry. Myers seems intrigued. Hendry has beaten Moose twice now. Why is this still going?

Jordynne Grace isn’t happy with Gisele Shaw getting a title shot but she’ll have hers at Sacrifice. Santino Marella says deal but then gets interrupted by Johnny Swinger and Zicky Dice. Swinger says no one can win fifty straight matches and he is tired of having everyone against him. Marella makes him a deal: he can pick ANYONE on the roster to face. Works for Swinger.

PCO vs. Trey Miguel

Non-title and this could be interesting. Miguel bails to the apron to start but gets pulled in for a crash. PCO blasts him with a clothesline and they head outside with PCO hitting a hard backbreaker. The running flip dive through the ropes only hits floor though and the PCO shaped thud sounds rather painful. We take a break and come back with Miguel kicking him down but PCO stands right back up. There’s a pop up powerbomb to plant Miguel again but Eddie Edwards comes in and hits PCO in the back with a shovel for the DQ at 8:42.

Rating: C+. I liked this one and could go for more with either being the good or bad guy. Miguel having to run and try to survive against the monster is interesting but Miguel trying to slay the monster as the underdog hero could work as well. This could have been more but Edwards vs. PCO is the real feud and you don’t want your champion losing, even to someone as unstoppable as PCO.

Post match PCO goes after Edwards, with security breaking it up. That’s fine with PCO, who PCOsaults down onto all of them (that was scary/great).

Here is what is coming on various shows, including a Mercedes Mone promo for her match against Kairi.

Tag Team Titles: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Bullet Club

Bullet Club is challenging. Sabin and Austin flip out of an exchange of wristlocks to start but everyone comes in for the staredown. Shelley comes in to take Austin down but it’s off to Bey for the slugout. Everything breaks down and Sabin accidentally shoulders Shelley in the corner. The Guns are sent outside for the stereo suicide dives as the Club is rolling here.

Back in and Austin slices Shelley’s mouth with the playing card before sliding the card up his sleeve (he’s not a great magician if you can see it on national TV). Shelley manages a shot to Bey’s weakened (by Kushida over the last few weeks, as mentioned by commentary) arm and Sabin gets in a cheap shot behind the referee’s back (that’s different). Sabin even dives off the apron to drop Bey on the floor as Shelley takes Austin off the apron (and takes his place to offer Bey a tag in a funny bit). The Border City Stretch doesn’t last long but Sabin kicks Bey’s arm from the apron as we take a break.

Back with Shelley chopping the post instead of Bey and Sabin doing the same. Bey still can’t get over for the tag as Sabin stomps on the arm on the apron. An enziguri gets Bey out of trouble and it’s Austin coming back in to start cleaning house. Everything breaks down and Bey hits the one armed flip dive to drop the Guns.

Back in and Sabin hits his tornado DDT/dropkick combination but Austin kicks Sabin down again. Sabin gets a standing Kimura on Bey as Shelley takes Austin down by the leg. Cradle Shock is broken up and Bey hits a quick cutter on Sabin. Shelley gets dropped with a cutter of his own but the assisted Art of Finesse is broken up. A doomsday missile dropkick hits Bey and Shell Shock gives Shelley two.

The Border City Stretch sends Bey to the rope so Shelley puts it on again. Austin’s save fails as he gets caught in Cradle Shock as Bey reverses Shelley into a rollup for two more. The Guns kick Bey in the head but Austin makes the save. A pair of spinning kicks to the head send Sabin outside. The assisted Art of Finesse into the Fold is enough to give Bey the pin and the titles at 22:04.

Rating: B. This was a heck of a match and it was interesting to see the roles reversed. You don’t see the Guns working heel that often and while they were only leaning into it here, it was different enough to catch your attention. At the same time, the Club won completely clean, which is more than I would have expected. Awesome match here and the Club feels like a breakout team waiting to happen.

The new champs celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The main event is by far the best part here and it anchored a strong show. They have some momentum coming out of No Surrender, but at the same time, they are now building towards three shows at once. That could get more than a little complicated, but at least Rebellion is far enough away that Sacrifice and Multiverse United can be covered before we get there. Very good show here and I liked pretty much everything.

Results
Mike Bailey b. Shane Haste – Ultimate Weapon
Kenny King b. Kevin Knight – Royal Flush
PCO b. Trey Miguel via DQ when Eddie Edwards interfered
Bullet Club b. Motor City Machine Guns – Fold to Shelley

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – February 23, 2023: Dang They’re Good

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 23, 2023
Location: Osceola Heritage Park, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

It’s the go home show for No Surrender and the card is set up. There is one thing though that we need to cover, which involves who gets to talk first in a live edition of Busted Open Radio. Therefore, we have a Beat The Clock Challenge between Bully Ray and Tommy Dreamer. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Motor City Machine Guns vs. Jonathan Gresham/Mike Bailey

Non-title and Gresham takes Shelley down by the leg to start. Bailey comes in and kicks away at said leg, with Gresham and Bailey taking turns on it. Shelley manages to knock Bailey outside though and it’s the Guns taking over for a change. Back in and the limping Shelley strikes away at Bailey, who comes right back with the bouncing kicks to Sabin.

Gresham and Sabin slug it out until Gresham does one of those stupid looking deals where he sends the Guns together and kicks Sabin, making him dragon screw legwhip Shelley. The Guns are back up with a Death Valley Driver/neckbreaker combination, followed by a Magic Killer for two on Gresham. Gresham suplexes Sabin and brings Bailey back in for the kicks, plus an Indian Deathlock to Shelley.

With that broken up, Shelley escapes Skull And Bones, leaving Gresham to Figure Four Shelley. That’s broken up as well and the Guns are sent outside for the double dive. Back in and Gresham gets the Figure Four again, with Bailey hitting the moonsault knees to Sabin. Bailey gets knocked down though and Sabin powerbombs him onto Gresham for the save. Gresham hits Bailey by mistake and the Guns strike away (gee Shelley’s knee healed up fast), setting up the Dirt Bomb for the pin on Gresham at 12:56.

Rating: B. This was the fast paced and all action match, though Bailey’s horrendous selling issues were spreading around here. The Guns did their thing and won as they should have, with Gresham and Bailey continuing to have their issues. It was the kind of fast paced match that you should open a show with, but my goodness sell the leg already.

Video on Rich Swann vs. Josh Alexander, with Swann wanting to get back to the top of the mountain. Alexander isn’t so sure, but does want Swann to get a title shot.

We look at Gisele Shaw and Jai Vidal getting chilied by Deonna Purrazzo on Before The Impact.

Deonna Purrazzo mocks Gisele Shaw for being bad luck and promises to break her arm at No Surrender. B****.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Tommy Dreamer vs. Jason Hotch

John Skyler is here with Hotch and promises that Dreamer is going down to one good hand. Dreamer misses a charge into the corner to start and a neckbreaker gives Hotch two. Hotch goes up top but gets caught in a super Death Valley Driver for the pin at 1:15. Well that was quick.

Joe Hendry had a meet and greet earlier today and the fans are behind him against Moose at No Surrender.

Taya Valkyrie vs. Allysin Kay

Jessika, Rosemary and Marti Belle are here too. They fight into the corner to start with Valkyrie getting the better of things and grabbing something like a reverse Koji Clutch on the mat. With that broken up, Valkyrie hits a spear for two as Kay can’t get much going so far. Kay gets kicked down in the corner to set up the running knees for two.

We take a break and come back with Kay whipping Valkyrie into the corner for a change, only to miss a charge. Valkyrie hits her hip attack, earning herself one heck of a right hand. A not so great blue Thunder Bomb gives Valkyrie two and we hit something like an STF. The rope gets Kay out of trouble and she reverses a sunset flip into a sunset driver for two. Belle offers a distraction so Kay can nail a kick to the head. With Rosemary dealing with Belle, the AK47 finishes Valkyrie at 10:34.

Rating: C. It’s good to give Kay, who is already a former Knockouts Champion, a reheating as she hasn’t been around in a long time. You need to have her built back up to make the Hex a reasonable threat to the Death Dollz and they made that work here. Valkyrie was working here and dominated most of the match too, making Kay look better in the process.

Santino Marella emcees a contract signing between Josh Alexander and Rich Swann. Alexander says Swann doesn’t have it in him, sending Swann into a speech about how he was hurt before but came back through all of his injuries. He’ll win the title tomorrow, but here is Steve Maclin to say he’s getting it anyway. Referees break up the ensuing fight.

Deaner/Callihan vs. Yuya Uemura/Frankie Kazarian

The rest of the Design is here too. Deaner has Callihan start with Kazarian and tells him to do the right thing. Callihan decks Kazarian to start so now Deaner is willing to fight for himself. Kazarian strikes his way out of trouble and brings Uemura in for an armbar. Callihan comes back in and Deaner gets in a cheap shot from the apron to take over. With the chinlock broken up, Kon pulls Kazarian off the apron to prevent the tag but Deaner misses a Swan Dive.

That’s enough for the tag to Kazarian as the pace picks way up. The springboard spinning legdrop hits Deaner but Callihan is back in with a suplex. Kazarian rolls between them and brings Uemura back in as everything breaks down. With Deaner down in the corner, Callihan tags himself back in and sends Uemura outside. A spinebuster drops Kazarian but Deaner tells Callihan to stop the Cactus Driver. The distraction lets Kazarian grab the chickenwing for the win at 9:43.

Rating: C+. Fast paced match here but egads the Callihan/Design stuff is falling flat. It feels like something we have seen so many times and there is no reason to care about whatever they do. Callihan still feels like something of a star, but the Design is as much of a dollar store version of the evil cult as you can get. Just get on with Callihan turning on them and move on already.

Video on Mickie James defending against Masha Slamovich at No Surrender, with Jordynne Grace looming over the whole thing.

Callihan wants to know how that was Deaner’s step #5, with Deaner saying it was about loyalty. Callihan is still in this, and tomorrow night, he can prove himself at No Surrender. Just remember: the Design chooses him, not the other way around.

Beat The Clock Challenge: Bully Ray vs. Bhupinder Gujjar

The clock is set at 1:15 and Ray hasn’t even bothered to put his knee pads on properly. The Good Hands immediately come in for a distraction so Ray can hit Gujjar with a chain for the pin at 30 seconds to win the challenge. I’ll take something short from Ray and Dreamer as this sets up the two of them talking at No Surrender.

Post break Tommy Dreamer gives Gujjar a pep talk.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

X-Division Title: Trey Miguel vs. Crazzy Steve

Steve, with Black Taurus, is challenging in Monster’s Ball and they’ve both been held without food, water or light for twenty four hours. There are weapons at ringside because we need to ramp up the violence. Steve chops away to start and takes him to the floor for the hard right hands.

We take a break less than a minute in (as that has now swept through wrestling) and come back with Steve being sent face first into some chairs on the floor. A big chair shot only hits post though and Steve sends him into the chairs instead. Back in and Miguel hits a fast running dropkick to take over again, meaning it’s time for a chain. More weapons are thrown in but Steve staple guns Miguel low for a breather. Steve Cannonballs into Miguel, in a trashcan, in the corner as we take another break.

Back again with Miguel grabbing a swinging neckbreaker for a breather of his own. A fork (yes a fork) to Steve’s face is blocked but Steve is busted open anyway. It’s time for the bag of tacks (of course) but Steve blocks the Lightning Spiral. The Black Hole Slam onto the tacks gets two on Miguel, with Steve pulling him up at two. That takes too long though and Miguel kicks away, setting up a stomp to the back to send Steve into the tacks.

It’s table time (because of course) but instead a double clothesline puts them both into the tacks again. With nothing else working, Miguel pulls out a metal spike, only for Steve to pull out Janice (a 2×4 with nails sticking out). With Miguel terrified, Steve Death Valley Drivers him through the table in the corner for two.

Steve gets caught on top though and a chair to the head puts him in more trouble. A quick Canadian Destroyer onto the tacks rocks Miguel again though and a delayed cover gets two. Janice to the forehead busts Miguel open even more but he gets in a low blow. A Roll of the Dice through a barbed wire table (with Miguel hitting back first) knocks Steve silly and retains the title at 22:31.

Rating: B. Your taste in hardcore/violent wrestling is going to determine everything here. There wasn’t much of anything new here but they did beat each other up and it felt like the big finish to the feud. Miguel gets to prove he can go in a different direction and looks stronger as champion as a result. The ending left a good bit to be desired, but they had a very violent match on the way there.

Overall Rating: B. The middle left a good bit to be desired, but with a pair of solid matches, Dreamer vs. Ray being kept under two minutes combined and a nice push towards No Surrender, this was another very nice use of two hours. I don’t even know why I’m surprised anymore, but Impact is rapidly approaching being the best weekly wrestling show. They have put in the work and made their show that much better, so well done on all sides with another quality show this week.

Results
Motor City Machine Guns b. Jonathan Gresham/Mike Bailey – Dirt Bomb to Gresham
Tommy Dreamer b. Jason Hotch – Super Death Valley Driver
Allysin Kay b. Taya Valkyrie – AK47
Frankie Kazarian/Yuya Uemura b. Callihan/Deaner – Chickenwing to Callihan
Bully Ray b. Bhupinder Gujjar – Right hand with a chain
Trey Miguel b. Crazy Steve – Roll of the Dice through a barbed wire table

 

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – February 16, 2023: It Took Long Enough

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 16, 2023
Location: Osceola Heritage Park, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

We are some amount of days away from No Surrender and that means it is time for some other qualifying match for the #1 contenders match. Other than that, hopefully we get more build towards Josh Alexander defending the World Title against Rich Swann. Also hopefully, we get less build towards the eventual Tommy Dreamer vs. Bully Ray showdown. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory Of Jerry Jarrett.

Opening recap.

Chris Bey vs. Kushida

Yeah this works and Ace Austin/the Motor City Machine Guns are the seconds. Kushida takes him down without much trouble to start with Bey having to bail to the ropes. Bey picks up the speed and sweeps out the leg before hitting a kick to the head. They head outside with Kushida getting sent into the apron, only to kick the arm out on the way back inside.

The arm is slammed into the mat and Kushida twists it around for a bonus. Bey heads outside and manages something like an apron 619. A double clothesline puts them both down and it’s a double dive back in at nine. Kushida goes after the arm again but Bey manages a torture rack neckbreaker for two.

A front flip double kick to the face sends Bey outside and the BIG flip dive drops him again. Back in and Kushida kicks at the bad arm but Bey gets in a quick knockdown. The Art of Finesse is broken up and Kushida gets a cross armbreaker, only to get reversed into a cradle for two. Kushida grabs an arm trap into a small package for the pin at 11:42.

Rating: B. Oh like this wasn’t going to be really good. Kushida can still go with anyone and Bey looked great even in defeat. It was the kind of back and forth match that you need every so often, with Kushida’s submission stuff against Bey’s athleticism and quickness. Heck of an opener here and every bit of what I was expecting.

Tommy Dreamer and Bully Ray have a sitdown with Santino Marella. The solution is a live Busted Open Radio segment at No Surrender with their fellow host Dave Lagreca moderating. They argue over gets to go first with Santino making a Beat The Clock Challenge next week with the winner getting to go first. When they talk.

No Surrender #1 Contenders Qualifying Match: Rhino vs. Steve Maclin

Maclin elbows him in the face a few times but Rhino takes it to the corner for some chops. Rhino gets the better of the battle over a suplex but it’s too early for the Gore. They go outside with Rhino being sent shoulder first into the post as we take a break. Back with Maclin getting two off a clothesline and then choking on the ropes for a bonus. A bunch of stomps set up the chinlock, followed by Maclin missing a middle rope headbutt. Rhino’s belly to belly gets two and the spinebuster follows. The Gore is loaded up but Maclin spears him down for two, setting up Heath’s Wake Up Call to give Maclin the pin at 11:04.

Rating: C+. The ending was little more than a formality as Maclin gets to run over someone else on his way to the likely World Title shot at Rebellion. Rhino got in his usual stuff before falling, which is the only way this should have gone. Decent match too as Maclin continues to shine in pretty much whatever he does.

Masha Slamovich doesn’t think Mickie James is taking her seriously enough so she’ll prove herself tonight against Alisha.

Here is Johnny Swinger, with Zicky Dice saying he has found one opponent with a record worse than theirs.

Johnny Swinger vs. Barry Horowitz

Swinger goes after the leg to start but misses a charge. Horowitz hammers away and rakes the chest, meaning it’s time for a good old pat on the back. Cue the Demon of all people as Horowitz grabs an abdominal stretch into a rollup for the pin at 2:08. This story is hilarious.

Moose, with a baseball bat, promises revenge on Joe Hendry.

Post break Moose goes after Hendry’s car but finds out that it’s Santino Marella’s. As a result, Marella gives Moose…..a Digital Media Title shot in a Dot Combat match at No Surrender. This would be the latest “sure why not” booking around here.

No Surrender #1 Contenders Qualifying Match: Heath vs. Eddie Edwards

Edwards hits a shoulder to start but Heath sends him into the corner for a splash. With Edwards bailing to the floor, Heath hits the flip dive off the apron. Back in and Edwards hits his own dive, meaning it’s time to choke back inside. The reverse chinlock doesn’t last long as Heath is back up with a powerslam for two. A spinebuster gets the same but Edwards catches him up top. The superplex into the tiger driver gets two so Edwards loads up the Diehard Driver. Cue the thunder though and the distraction lets Heath hit the Wake Up Call for the pin at 7:32.

Rating: C. More serious Heath continues to be fine and it’s cool to put him in a #1 contenders match. He even has a reason to go after Maclin for using the Wake Up Call earlier this week. On the other hand you have Edwards and…well yeah PCO is going to actually kill him at some point so enjoy him while you can.

Post match PCO chases Eddie Edwards off.

Deaner says he and Sami Callihan are facing Yuya Uemura and Frankie Kazarian next week. It’s Sami’s fifth step out of seven.

James Mitchell and the Hex are ready to destroy the Death Dollz and win the Knockouts Tag Team Titles.

Masha Slamovich vs. Alisha

Mickie James is on commentary. Slamovich starts fast and runs Alisha over with the Snow Plow finishing at 1:34. Exactly what it should have been.

Post match Slamovich stays on Alisha so Mickie goes in, only to get choked out.

Crazzy Steve says Trey Miguel’s TM logo now means That Moment when Steve took over his mind. Steve wants a shot at the X-Division Title in Monster’s Ball.

Santino Marella makes Mike Bailey vs. Jonathan Gresham at No Surrender. Dirty Dango says that next week, the two of them can team up to face the Motor City Machine Guns. With the two of them gone, Barry Horowitz comes in and says he wants the same deal as Johnny Swinger: win fifty matches and get a World Title shot. That works for Santino, who gives Horowitz Rhino next week. Actually, Horowitz will just leave 1-0 instead.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Kenny King vs. Rich Swann

King punches him down to start but Swann manages a kick to the apron. That means the running flip dive to take King down again as things settle a bit. Swann’s splash is cut off though and King drops him face first onto the turnbuckle. King grabs a backbreaker for two but Swann manages a DDT to send us to a break.

Back with Swann hitting a rolling clothesline into a running kick to the head for two. King hits a spinebuster for two of his own, followed by a powerslam for the same. The poisonrana gets Swann out of trouble and they’re both down for a bit. Swann’s big kick to the head is countered into a half crab to make Swann scream a bit. With that broken up, they trade kicks to the head for two until Swann misses a 450. King grabs a tiger driver for two but the Royal Flush is countered into a small package to give Swann the pin at 14:30.

Rating: C+. Another completely acceptable and at times good match between two talented wrestlers. The ending wasn’t in real doubt as the #1 contender isn’t going to lose, but King can wrestle a fine match with just about anyone. Swann continues to build momentum to being the challenger of the month, but doing something notable with Josh Alexander sounds like a better idea.

Post match King stays on Swann and grabs a chair but Josh Alexander runs in for the save. Swann grabs the chair and swings at King but hits Alexander by mistake to end the show. That’s something for them at least as that match has felt almost forgotten so far.

Overall Rating: B-. This show did a nice job of building up No Surrender, as we FINALLY got something with the World Title match. Other than that, the rest of the show got a boost as well, including Bully Ray vs. Tommy Dreamer. That thing is getting dragged all the way to Rebellion so it could take some time to really do much. I liked this show, with the Horowitz stuff being a great surprise. Impact continues to roll with another good one and I’m having more fun with the show almost week after week.

Results
Kushida b. Chris Bey – Small package
Steve Maclin b. Rhino – Wake Up Call
Barry Horowitz b. Johnny Swinger – Abdominal stretch rollup
Heath b. Eddie Edwards – Wake Up Call
Masha Slamovich b. Alisha – Snow Plow
Rich Swann b. Kenny King – Small package

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – February 9, 2023: Fare Not Well

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 9, 2023
Location: Osceola Heritage Park, Kissimmee, Florida
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

No Surrender is coming up and most of the card has been set up so far. That includes the World Title match, which has not exactly gotten a ton of hype. Maybe it is because it seems we have another challenger on the horizon, but Rich Swann challenging Josh Alexander isn’t exactly feeling huge. Hopefully they can get some more of it covered this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Matt Cardona arrives and says he’s in the main event tonight. He is shown to his private dressing room with champagne and shrimp cocktails, but it turns out this is Joe Hendry’s room. Cardona is shown to a closet instead.

No Surrender #1 Contenders Qualifying Match: Brian Myers vs. Dirty Dango

They run the ropes to start until Dango armdrags him into an armbar. Myers’ sunset flip is blocked and Dango drops a leg before they head outside. A posting cuts Dango off and of course Myers is fine to try for a countout. Back in and we hit the chinlock, complete with trash talking. Dango fights up and they collide for a double knockdown. A Russian legsweep sets up the Dirtbag Shuffle, followed by a top rope ax handle to send Myers outside. That’s fine with Myers who hits a Roster Cut on the floor, followed by another inside for the pin at 6:50.

Rating: C. I’m kind of digging the more serious Dango, who has been shifting away from a lot of the comedy and wrestling more traditional matches. As it turns out, he can do those well enough to get by and even do well in some places. Myers is a bigger name and easier to take more seriously so it makes sense for him to win, but Dango has been doing well lately.

Gisele Shaw, with Jai Vidal, messes up a few meals at catering. Deonna Purrazzo doesn’t like what Shaw has been saying lately though and throws what looks like chili in her face. Santino Marella comes in to make a No Surrender match.

Trey Miguel thinks Crazzy Steve is in fact crazy and wants nothing more to do with him. Steve’s laughter is heard and a bloody version of Miguel’s logo appears. Miguel freaks out.

Good Hands vs. Mickie James/Tommy Dreamer

Before the match, the Good Hands talk about how much they hate Florida, which is nowhere as valuable as a hand. Mickie and Hotch start things off with Mickie taking him down without much effort. Dreamer comes in to stay on the arm with James coming right back in with a top rope ax handle to said arm. Skyler comes in so Dreamer sends both of the Hands outside.

Dreamer’s dive off the apron takes both of them down again, followed by Mickie hitting a big dive of her own. The Texas Cloverleaf is on but Hotch makes a quick save. It’s Dreamer getting taken down in the corner for a hip attack but he’s right back up with a cutter. Mickie comes back in to clean house, including the flapjack into the top rope Thesz press. The MickieDT finishes Hotch at 5:22.

Rating: C. Intergender wrestling can be tricky to pull off but they made it work well here. James is one of the most successful women’s wrestlers of all time and it isn’t too much to believe that she could beat one of Bully Ray’s lackeys. Dreamer vs. Ray is still a bit much to take as one of the bigger feuds in the company, but that is where everything seems to be heading.

Post match Bully Ray comes in and decks Dreamer, allowing Masha Slamovich to come in and take out Mickie.

Johnny Swinger, with Zicky Dice, asks Santino Marella for his next match as part of his path to 50 wins. Dirty Dango, the Deputy Director Of Authority, comes in to cut off a bribe attempt but Dice knows someone Swinger can beat.

Video on Rich Swann and how important it was to him to be World Champion. He didn’t get to have fans around, but he knows he inspired a lot of people. Then he lost to Kenny Omega when AEW worked with Impact. Josh Alexander wound up as champion so now Swann wants his belt back. He has his mojo back, so now he needs the title to go with it. This was a different look at Swann and the best thing in the build to the title match thus far.

Steph DeLander vs. Jordynne Grace

DeLander was Persia Pirotta in NXT and here, she promises to be everyone’s worst nightmare. DeLander starts fast by sending her to the apron but Grace powers her way out of trouble. With DeLander on the floor, Grace hits a dropkick through the ropes for two back inside. A quick shot lets DeLander have a breather though and we hit the chinlock.

Grace is right back up though and shrugs off a suplex, setting up the dead lift German suplex for two on DeLander. The Grace Driver is blocked so Grace sends her into the corner. DeLander grabs Snake Eyes into a big boot (seems to be an Undertaker fan), only to have Grace pop back up. The Grace Driver finishes DeLander at 5:02.

Rating: C. Another just ok match in a series of them tonight as DeLander got in a bunch but wound up losing to the bigger star. Grace is going to be back in the title picture sooner than later so giving her a win, even while breaking a sweat, is a good thing. That being said, DeLander was hardly a big star in NXT and I’m not sure how much value she has coming in here. Maybe she can prove herself, and she did start well here.

Matt Cardona is still mad about having to change in a closet so he asks for another dressing room. He gets another one….which is outside.

Josh Alexander respects Rich Swann and knows that Swann only lost one match on one night. Now Swann has his chance to get back but here is Kenny King to interrupt. King wants to know why he isn’t getting a title shot but Swann comes in to say King has to earn it. Swann punches him in the face and Alexander lets them go, only to have King back off.

Killer Kelly/Taylor Wilde vs. Death Dollz

Non-title and it’s Taya Valkyrie and Rosemary for the Dollz. Taya takes Kelly down to start and it’s off to Rosemary to hammer away with right hands. A fall away slam out of the corner sets up the Upside Down as Wilde is looking at her tarot cards on the apron. Wilde comes in and grabs a quick backbreaker to take Rosemary down for the first time.

A fisherman’s suplex gives Kelly two and it’s right back to Wilde for some forearms. Rosemary manages her half of a double clothesline, which is enough to bring Taya back in. Kelly manages to take her down again but Wilde finds the devil card. That means she won’t tag in, allowing a Road To Valhalla with an X Factor from Rosemary to finish Kelly at 6:03.

Rating: C+. Impact’s Knockouts division deserves a lot of credit as they have turned it into something rather entertaining most of the time. There is some depth here and Kelly and Wilde are coming along quite well. The Death Dollz need some challengers though and I’m not sure if there is a team around at the moment to fill that spot.

Post match it’s Father James Mitchell making his return and saying Rosemary hasn’t been paying proper respect to Mitchell’s boss/her father. Therefore, Mitchell is here with a hex….in the form of the Hex, Marti Belle/Allysin Kay (former NWA Women’s Tag Team Champions). The Dollz are laid out.

Eddie Edwards wants Shera to take out PCO as an act of friendship. Edwards seems to offer money as an extra incentive.

Kushida praises the Motor City Machine Guns for their success. The Bullet Club comes in and seems to want a title shot but get a six man tag at No Surrender, with Kenta being promised as their partner.

No Surrender #1 Contenders Qualifying Match: PCO vs. Shera

Raj Singh is here as PCO hammers on Shera to start. A punch to the throat sends Shera outside to set up the suicide flip dive as the fans approve of PCO. Singh’s distraction lets Shera get in a few shots of his own but PCO, busted open, sits up and looks a bit perturbed. PCO runs Shera over while screaming about Eddie Edwards. The PCOsault finishes Shera at 3:10.

Rating: C. The match was more or less a squash and I can appreciate it going that way. There is only so much of a reason to believe that Shera was anything resembling a threat to PCO so just let him run Shera over. PCO isn’t likely to win at No Surrender, but I could absolutely see him being a challenger of the month as a wild card.

Matt Cardona is back inside and finds Brian Myers in Joe Hendry’s dressing room, but apparently it is just for the shrimp. Some people come in singing Hendry’s song and Myers claps along with them. Myers: “It’s a catchy song.”

Frankie Kazarian tries to talk Sami Callihan out of joining the Design but Sami thinks Kazarian has the sickness. The Design comes in and Kazarian issues a challenge to Big Kon.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Digital Media Title: Joe Hendry vs. Matt Cardona

Hendry is defending and refers to Cardona as Edge’s b**** before the match. He knows the people believe in him though and that’s what will be going through his head during the match. Cardona hits Radio Silence at the bell for two and the kickout leaves him livid. They go outside with Hendry hammering away and sending him right back inside.

A spinning slam sets up a delayed suplex for two on Cardona, who needs a breather on the floor. Cardona sweeps the leg on the apron and grabs a neckbreaker on the outside as we take a break. Back with Cardona choking in the corner, setting up a neckbreaker for two. Hendry tries a suplex but gets reversed into another neckbreaker for another two. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Cardona switches into a guillotine.

That’s reversed with a suplex and they’re both down for a breather. Hendry makes the clothesline comeback, setting up the fall away slam to send Cardona flying. Cardona grabs the rope so a DDT can plant Hendry for two of his own. The Reboot is blocked and Hendry cutters him for two. Another Radio Silence gives Cardona another near fall so here is Brian Myers to throw in the belt. The distraction lets Myers hit the Roster Cut….on Cardona by mistake. Myers is sent outside and the Standing Ovation retains the title at 13:02.

Rating: B-. This got rolling near the end as Hendry can wrestle a good match when he is given the chance. They might have something with him as that charisma can’t be ignored. At the same time, Cardona’s transformation from total goof into solid heel (including the physical transformation) is incredibly impressive. He feels like a star so Hendry beating him is a good step forward.

Post match Moose comes in and goes after Hendry but spears Cardona by mistake. Hendry dispatches Moose and plays Cardona’s new song again to end the show. If that’s not it for Cardona around here, they missed a golden opportunity to send him off in an all time humiliating way.

Overall Rating: C+. Impact got back on their good side this week with a solid enough show that actually made me more interested in the World Title match at No Surrender. Other than that, the Cardona stuff was rather funny as he does a great job at getting humiliated. Fun show here and, as usual, they built towards the future, which is one of their strong suits these days.

Results
Brian Myers b. Dirty Dango – Roster Cut
Mickie James/Tommy Dreamer b. Good Hands – MickieDT to Hotch
Jordynne Grace b. Steph DeLander – Grace Driver
Death Dollz b. Killer Kelly/Taylor Wilde – Road To Valhalla/Facebuster combination to Kelly
PCO b. Shera – PCOsault
Joe Hendry b. Matt Cardona – Standing Ovation

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – February 2, 2023: Who Does That Help?

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 2, 2023
Location: Osceola Heritage Park, Kissimmee, Florida
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

It’s the start of a new month and we are well on our way to No Surrender. Last week saw Rich Swann win a #1 contenders match to earn a shot at Josh Alexander later this month, but it still feels like we are coming up on Steve Maclin as the really big bad. Odds are we see more of the build this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

The setup is different this week as the camera isn’t facing the video screen, making it look more like a WWE or AEW show.

Bullet Club vs. Kevin Knight/Kushida

Knight and Ace start things off with Bey’s headlock not getting him very far. Knight misses a charge into the corner and Bey stomps him in the back, only to get caught with a springboard spinning crossbody. It’s off to Kushida to start in on the arm but it’s right back to Knight, whose springboard is dropkicked out of the air. Austin comes in to stomp Knight down for two and he kicks away at Knight in the corner. The Club starts taking turns on Knight, with Austin grabbing a chinlock.

That’s broken up and Knight dives over for the tag to Kushida. Everything breaks down and Knight and Bey wind up on their opponents’ shoulders for a slugout. With that broken up, Knight dropkicks Bey off Kushida’s shoulders (without needing ropes for a boost) for two but Austin knocks Knight down. Austin gets sent outside so Knight tries a springboard….which is pulled into a cutter from Bey onto the apron (that was SWEET). Back in and the Art of Finesse into the Fold finishes Knight at 9:25.

Rating: C+. This was the kind of match that regularly opens Impact a good chunk of the time and they made it work here. The Club has become a very nice team who can make almost anything work and they did it again this week. Beating Kushida, even without pinning him, is a big deal and I could go with the Club getting a bigger spot.

Deaner isn’t happy with Sami Callihan for losing the Golden Six Shooter last week. He failed there, but he can make up for it with a win tonight.

Steph DeLander (formerly Persia Pirotta in NXT) debuts next week.

Gisele Shaw vs. Savannah Evans

Jai Vidal is with Shaw while Evans wants to prove she can do this herself. They talk trash to start until and Evans punches her into the corner. Shaw strikes away but gets shoulders in the corner and butterfly suplexes back out of it. We take a break and come back with Evans hitting a Samoan drop into a spinebuster for two. A fisherman’s suplex gets the same but a Vidal distraction lets Shaw hit a superkick. The running knee finishes Evans at 8:24.

Rating: C-. Shaw is doing something interesting with the Black Widow thing and it makes sense for her to win here. If nothing else, she is getting more of a character and that is something that has been lacking for a long time. The match wasn’t very good, but at least it went the right way.

Post match Shaw says some people call her the Black Widow of the Knockouts Division because she gets rid of people. She doesn’t care how many people she has run off and belongs in the spotlight because she is a star.

Kenny King runs into two guys and doesn’t like that they aren’t talking about him. King steals their chips and then runs into Zicky Dice and Johnny Swinger. More disrespect ensues and King is ready to get a match with Swinger as a result. Swinger isn’t pleased, but he’ll trust Dice.

Post break Santino Marella makes a match between King and Swinger. King leaves and here is Steve Maclin to say he should be #1 contender. Marella puts him in a match to get to a #1 contenders match at No Surrender. Maclin isn’t pleased but leaves, with Dirty Dango coming in. Dango will do whatever Marella needs, but he wants in one of the qualifying matches too. Deal.

Crazzy Steve vs. Sheldon Jean

Black Taurus is here with Steve. They fight over wrist control to start with Jean taking him down by the head and getting in a kick. Back up and Steve bites him in the face, setting up some clotheslines in the corner. There’s the Cannonball and Belladonna’s Kiss finishes Jean at 2:25.

Post match Trey Miguel runs in with the spray paint but Steve takes it away and paints himself.

Jordynne Grace has her guaranteed rematch for the Knockouts Champion but for now she’ll settle for beating up Steph DeLander next week.

Santino Marella comes in to see Raven, who has an idea of how to make money for the company: make Raven the champ. Reese (of WCW fame) comes in to ask if they’re getting the Flock together. Raven: “Shut up Yeti.”

Here is Bully Ray for a chat. After a lot of booing, Ray talks about how he doesn’t think people like him. Management, the fans, the industry as a whole? None of them like him! Ray knows that the boss doesn’t like him because he wasn’t in the #1 contenders match with former World Champions. Ray: “Raise your hand if you know what I’m talking about. Now look at everybody doing what I tell them to do.” After a warning to Santino Marella, Ray shifts over to Tommy Dreamer, who has never gotten along with him. Dreamer is nothing but a phony who wants everyone to love him but that can’t happen.

Cue Mickie James to interrupt because Ray interrupted her big moment. Mickie finds it funny that Ray is calling Dreamer a politicking liar when that is all Ray does. Ray tells her to stop smiling and threatens violence before calling her a tramp. That earns Ray a slap so Ray slams her (NOT A SLAM!). Cue the Good Hands for a table but Dreamer makes the save. Violence is teased but here is Santino Marella to make Mickie/Dreamer vs. the Good Hands. That hardly seems fair.

Killer Kelly has already beaten Taylor Wilde but Wilde won’t leet it go. If Wilde wants another match, so be it. Cue Wilde, who wants to team with Kelly. The Death Dollz teleport in and the match seems to be made.

Johnny Swinger vs. Kenny King

Zicky Dice is here with Swinger, who is still trying to win 50 matches to get a World Title match. Swinger hides in the ropes over and over before bailing into the corner from the threat of a kick to the face. Dice offers a distraction but King kicks Swinger in the face anyway. The Royal Flush finishes Swinger at 1:43.

Post match King puts every champion on notice and says he’s coming for the titles.

Bully Ray comes up to Masha Slamovich and wants her to beat up Mickie James at No Surrender. Slamovich doesn’t seem to speak English.

Matt Cardona debuts a rap video in response to Joe Hendry. Apparently he’s going to take Hendry’s mom on a date. With the video over, Brian Myers reminds Cardona that he is married. No matter though, as Cardona is going to take the title.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Josh Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian/Yuya Uemura vs. Callihan/The Design

Callihan seems to have lost his first name. Deaner and Swann start things off but it’s off to Callihan before anything happens. Callihan takes over and hands it off to Deaner, who gets taken down. Uemura hits a dropkick to take over and Alexander comes in, with Deaner biting him head. Everything breaks down and Kon sends Swann to the apron, where a big flip dive takes out the pile at ringside.

We take a break and come back with Kazarian chopping Angels and Uemura nowhere to be seen. Kazarian hits the springboard legdrop but it’s off to Swann, who gets taken down for a change. Deaner comes in to drop an elbow before handing it off to Kon. Uemura is back on the apron as Kon works on a nerve hold. The Design takes turns beating on Swann, including Deaner hitting a middle rope dropkick.

Kon punches the post though and the diving tag brings in Alexander to clean house. Kon and Alexander have their big showdown with Alexander not being able to hit the German suplex. Everything breaks down and Deaner counters the C4 Spike. We hit the parade of secondary finishers until Deaner pushes Uemura off the top. The Cactus Driver finishes for Callihan at 16:45.

Rating: C+. This was a weird one as they did a lot of the stuff right, but it didn’t do anything to make more more interested in seeing Swann vs. Alexander. If nothing else, this was more about Callihan and the Design, which is hardly a story that I need to see keep going. It was a completely decent, if not pretty good, eight man main event, but I’m not sure how much it accomplished.

Overall Rating: C. Kind of a weird show here as it built towards a bunch of stuff, but I’m not sure how interesting most of it is going to be. The majority of the show’s big angles were Callihan/The Design and Mickie James/Tommy Dreamer vs. Bully Ray. That sounds like something you get from a random match generator rather than a regular show, but Impact has actually earned the benefit of the doubt lately. Not a bad show, but a skippable one.

Results
Bullet Club b. Kevin Knight/Kushida – Fold to Knight
Gisele Shaw b. Savannah Evans – Running knee
Crazzy Steve b. Sheldon Jean – Belladonna’s Kiss
Kenny King b. Johnny Swinger – Royal Flush
Design/Callihan b. Yuyu Uemura/Josh Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian – Cactus Driver to Uemura

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling – January 26, 2023: The Most Consistent Wrestling Show Of The Week

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 26, 2023
Location: Center Stage, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

The fallout from Hard To Kill continues and we are also on the way to No Surrender. The latter means that we need a new #1 contender and we will have one by the end of the night due to a six way elimination match. Other than that, Bully Ray now seems to have to deal with Mickie James and possibly Frankie Kazarian so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

X-Division Title: Mike Jackson vs. Trey Miguel

Jackson, 73 years old, is challenging and gets wristlocked down to start. Some running shoulders and a hiptoss have Miguel down for a change but Miguel punches him in the face. A hammerlock slam puts Jackson down but he avoids the springboard moonsault. An atomic drop sends Jackson outside, where he is fine enough to post Miguel. Back in and Jackson stays on the arm but takes too long with Oldest School, allowing Miguel to pull him down. The Lightning Spiral finishes for Miguel at 5:58.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t terrible by any means and factoring in Jackson’s age, it was downright impressive. Having someone who was nearly a wrestler’s normal retirement age over thirty years ago in there and looking acceptable is remarkable. There was no way he was winning the title here, but for a cool novelty, this was fun.

Post match Miguel goes to get the spray paint but finds Crazzy Steve instead. Steve has TREY written all over himself and pulls out his own spray paint to spray Trey’s logo on his chest. Miguel runs, partially because Black Taurus comes out as well.

Josh Alexander is ready to face anyone who wins tonight. Steve Maclin comes in to say that he’s coming for whoever comes out with the title.

Good Hands vs. Kushida/Kevin Knight

Skyler and Knight trade wrist control to start before it’s off to Kushida to stay on Skyler’s arm. A blind tag brings in Hotch though and a German suplex into a rollup gets two on Kushida. That just means Kushida gets to hit them in the face, allowing the tag off to Knight. Everything breaks down and Knight dropkicks Hotch off of Kushida’s shoulders, setting up the Hoverboard Lock to give Kushida the win at 4:00.

Rating: C. I’ve heard a good bit about Knight before but haven’t seen much of him in the ring. Putting him with Kushida is always a good idea though and having them beat up on Bully Ray’s goons worked. It was just a quick match to have Kushida and Knight get a win on TV and that was enough of a success.

Gisele Shaw and Jai Vidal meet Shaw’s mystery partner, leaving Vidal VERY happy.

Mickie James wants to know what was up with Jordynne Grace saving her last week. Grace says she was protecting her investment, meaning her rematch. Seems cool with James.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Death Dollz vs. Gisele Shaw/Tara

The Dollz are defending and have Rosemary in their corner to counter Jai Vidal. If nothing else, we get Tara’s BROKEN BROKEN entrance again. Tara and Taya start things off with a handshake but Shaw tags herself in before anything can happen. The fans are NOT pleased but Taya sending Shaw into the corner for some hip attacks work a bit better for them. Jessicka comes in and gets hammered down by Shaw.

The running uppercut puts Jessicka down again but she runs Shaw over, allowing the hot tag to Taya. Rosemary takes Vidal out, leaving Shaw to STILL not bring Tara in. Instead Tara comes in and gets yelled at by Shaw, who gets taken out by the Widow’s Peak. Jessicka comes in with the Sick Driver to retain at 6:12.

Rating: C+. This was all about the storytelling as Shaw is now fully embracing being the worst partner in the world. That is a story to tell as eventually she will find the right partner and could make for a good pairing. For now though, Tara was just there to get annoyed and then hit the Widow’s Peak. Another fine step forward in a bigger story.

Taylor Wilde consults tarot cards to find out she will be seeing Killer Kelly again.

Dave LaGreca is thankful for being part of Impact when Bully Ray comes in. He wants to know why he is the only former World Champion not in the #1 contenders match. Santino Marella says Ray lost at Hard To Kill and Ray, who does like Marella, threatens him if he doesn’t get it. LaGreca knows that only Tommy Dreamer can help this.

Tasha Steelz says she didn’t get pinned by Mickie James in a singles match. This isn’t working though, any of it. Steelz walks out on the interview, plus Savannah Evans.

Major Players vs. Bullet Club

Cardona and Bey trade shoulders to start before Bey armdrags him into an armbar. The Club cleans house with the rapid fire strikes but a Cardona distraction lets Myers deck Bey. Cardona drops a knee for two and Myers grabs a front facelock. Bey gets in a whip into the corner though and the double tag brings in Austin and Cardona. Everything breaks down and the Reboot hits Bey, setting up Myers’ top rope elbow for two. The assisted Art of Finesse is broken up so Austin kicks Cardona in the face, setting up a quick rollup for the pin at 6:55.

Rating: C+. There was some miscommunication in there between the Major Players and that could be a bad sign for the team’s future. I could see the team splitting down the line as the specter of WWE always looms over someone like Cardona. The Bullet Club has absolutely found its niche as the fast moving pair of smaller guys and they looked rather good in a win here.

Post match here is Joe Hendry to accept Matt Cardona’s challenge for a Digital Media Title match. Cardona is the original Internet Champion but lately, Cardona must feel a bit left out. That’s why Hendry has written him a son, with a focus on Cardona wanting to play with action figures instead of spending, ahem, quality time with his wife. Throw in the line “You’re the king of the indies and now you’re rich, but to me you’ll always be Edge’s b****” and Cardona is really not pleased. Hendry’s stuff continues to be awesome.

Post break Myers and Cardona come up to Moose and promise to get rid of Hendry. End of scene.

Jonathan Gresham vs. Sheldon Jean

Gresham headlocks him down to start before tripping Jean down and cranking on the leg. Back up and Jean kicks him in the face, earning a dropkick to the knee. Gresham cranks the knee again and hits a sliding forearm for the pin at 3:03.

Rating: C. Give Gresham a warm body to work with and let him hack it to pieces one limb at a time. That is a formula that is going to work as Gresham knows how to do that style as well as anyone going right now. He made it look easy here and putting something like that on TV for a few weeks is a good way to remind fans that this is a wrestling show.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Moose vs. Rhino vs. Rich Swann vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Sami Callihan vs. Chris Sabin

Elimination rules and the winner gets a World Title shot at No Surrender. The brawl starts fast and Rhino and Moore are left alone in the ring for an exchange of shoulders. Sabin comes in to shoulder Rhino down but he walks into a suplex from Callihan. It’s Sabin back up with a dive to the floor onto Moose and Swann snaps off a running hurricanrana to Edwards. Swann’s running flip dive off the apron takes down Moose and Edwards on the floor.

Back in and Edwards hits a Blue Thunder Bomb on Swann, leaving Rhino to hit some running shoulders to Callihan in the corner. Moose spears Rhino though, allowing Callihan to get the elimination at 4:32. We take a break and come back with Moose cleaning house, including dropkicking Swann and Sabin on the top at the same time. Sabin takes Moose down with a tornado DDT and does the same to Edwards.

Callihan is back in to kick away at Swann and Sabin but Swann bulldogs Callihan/kicks Edwards for a double knockdown. Swann’s middle rope splash gets two on Callihan but Edwards powerbombs Swann onto Sabin for two more. The Boston Knee Party is loaded up but here is PCO to go after Edwards. The distraction lets Sabin roll Edwards up for the pin at 13:25. Moose comes back in to Rock Bottom Sabin for two and shrugs off the tornado DDT. The spear finishes Sabin at 15:31 and we’re down to three.

We take another break and come back with a three way slugout with Swann getting the better of things until Moose takes out his leg. Moose pounds on the leg but Swann grabs a quick rollup for the pin at 23:18. Cue the Design to tell Callihan to take out Swann so Callihan goes after the bad knee. Swann rolls him up to escape so Callihan powerbombs him into another leglock. With that broken up, Swann kicks him in the head a few times, setting up the middle rope 450 for the pin and the title shot at 26:27.

Rating: B-. Swann going forward to the title shot is a good way to go, as he is credible enough to give Alexander a threat but not likely to take the title. They have to find someone to keep the challenger spot warm for Steve Maclin, who seems likely to be the next champion. They kept the action moving here and making it elimination rules was the best thing they could have gone.

Post match Swann tries to talk sense into Callihan but gets beaten down for his efforts. Yuyu Uemura comes in for a failed save attempt so Josh Alexander and Frankie Kazarian run in for the real save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. As has been the case for a good while now, Impact continues to shine and look like one of the best weekly wrestling shows around. It shows you just how far the company has come and it is great to see them turning into such a fun show. Normally I would say to keep it going, but they have been doing it for such a long time now that it’s not even about maintaining momentum anymore. Good show here and I want to see where this is going, as is usual these days.

Results
Trey Miguel b. Mike Jackson – Lightning Spiral
Kushida/Kevin Knight b. Good Hands – Hoverboard Lock to Hotch
Death Dollz b. Gisele Shaw/Tara – Sick Driver to Shaw
Bullet Club b. Major Players – Rollup to Cardona
Jonathan Gresham b. Sheldon Jean – Sliding forearm
Rich Swann won a six way elimination match last eliminating Sami Callihan

 

 

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