Impact Wrestling – May 11, 2017: Doth My Eyes Deceive Me?

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Date: May 11, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We open with a recap of Alberto El Patron beating Eli Drake to earn a shot at the GFW World Title tonight. Magnus is ready.

Opening sequence.

Andrew Everett vs. Caleb Konley vs. Dezmond Xavier vs. Matt Sydal

JB pesters Josh again.

JB annoys Josh again.

Hakim Zane/Idris Abraham vs. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr.

Ava Storie vs. Laurel Van Ness

Spud still wants to hurt Swoggle.

Grand Championship: Marshe Rockett vs. Moose

Moose is defending but Rockett jumps him to start and hits a Harlem side kick for no cover. A dropkick knocks Marshe off the top though and Rockett chills on the floor for the rest of the round. Moose wins the first round and wastes no time, finishing Rockett with the sitout chokeslam at 35 seconds of the second round.

Post match Tyrus comes out for a distraction, allowing Eli Drake to come in with some chair shots to Moose. Chris Adonis runs in for the Adonis Lock and more chair shots from Drake leave Moose laying.

More JB and Josh.

Angelina Love vs. Alisha Edwards

Eddie goes after Angelina but Davey crutches him in the knee.

Lashley will be watching the main event.

GFW World Title: Alberto El Patron vs. Magnus

Alberto is challenging and seems to have the fans behind him. An early armbreaker across the top rope has Magnus reeling and a clothesline makes things even worse. Magnus grabs a suplex and kicks away a bit as the champ is playing the de facto heel here. The back and forth continues with Patron hitting a top rope right hand to the jaw and grabbing a chinlock.

They fight to the top and both guys are knocked out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Alberto in control until he walks into a Falcon Arrow (not a sitout powerslam Josh) for two. Josh rants about Jim Ross tweeting him about how awesome he is and complains about JB some more as the guys head outside for nothing of note.

Back in and the Backstabber sets up the armbreaker on Magnus but the champ gets a rope. The Cloverleaf sends Patron to the rope as well and they head up top again. Alberto misses his top rope double stomp and hurts his knee. Magnus gets in a powerbomb but gets pulled down into the armbreaker for the submission at 18:23.

Results

Andrew Everett b. Caleb Konley, Dezmond Xavier and Matt Sydal – Frankendriver to Xavier

Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. b. Idris Abraham/Hakim Zane – 450 splash to Abraham

Laurel Van Ness b. Ava Storie – Curb stomp

Moose b. Marshe Rockett – Sitout chokeslam

Alisha Edwards b. Angelina Love via DQ when Love used a chain

Alberto El Patron b. Magnus – Cross armbreaker

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – May 4, 2017: GFW Finally Gets Its Own TV Show

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Date: May 4, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Opening sequence.

Dave Penzer is now doing ring announcing, which hopefully means the Swoggle vs. Spud is done.

Matt Sydal vs. Eddie Edwards

They shake hands post match. Sydal leaves but here are Angelina Love and Davey Richards to beat Edwards down. Eddie gets laid out with a chair until Alisha dives off the stage to take Angelina down.

ODB wants to make Impact great.

JB is behind Josh and mocks his over the top mannerisms. This is still your top story.

Ethan Carter III vs. John Bolen

Carter kicks him in the face to start and chokes on the ropes. A running knee to the back sends Bolen outside. Back in and the TK3 sets up the 1%er for the pin on Bolen at 2:33.

Carter puts the new bosses on notice.

Remember how JB had a sign earlier? He still does and Josh is getting annoyed.

GFW World Title: Magnus vs. Matt Morgan

Morgan is challenging and uses the size to take over early on. A big boot sends Magnus outside but he posts Morgan for a breather. Back in and the Carbon Footprint misses so Morgan bangs up a leg to give Magnus a target. A kick to the leg sets up the Figure Four with Morgan making the ropes without too much effort.

More JB sign stuff.

LAX wants to hurt more people.

James Storm wants to make Impact great.

Spud, in a neck brace and with his leg in a cast, stares at a picture of Swoggle. So yes this is still going. So now we have a ring announcer feud to go with the commentator feud.

Kongo Kong vs. William Weeks

Post match Braxton Sutter comes out to go after Kong. Some right hands and a clothesline put the monster on the floor so Sutter and Allie can stand tall.

Eli Drake wants to make Impact great.

Eli Drake vs. Alberto El Patron

The winner gets a shot at Magnus at some point in the future. Drake runs away but gets pulled back to ringside, where the referee ejects Tyrus. Eli is fine enough to suplex him on the ramp but Alberto shakes it off and hits a suicide dive. Back from a break with Drake suplexing him onto the apron and choking on the floor.

Results

Matt Sydal b. Eddie Edwards – Shooting star press

Sienna b. Christina Von Eerie – Pounce
Ethan Carter III b. John Bolen – 1%er

Magnus b. Matt Morgan – Top rope elbow

Kongo Kong b. William Weeks – Top rope splash

Alberto El Patron b. Eli Drake – Double stomp


Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – April 27, 2017: They Have No Shame

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Date: April 27, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Opening sequence.

Trevor Lee vs. Matt Sydal

Low Ki talks about wanting to revive the X-Division, which is always changing.

Video on Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards.

Video on Moose, complete with Monday Night Football music.

Grand Championship: Moose vs. Davey Richards

Matt Sigmon vs. Kongo Kong

Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara vs. Veterans of War

Tag Team Titles: Decay vs. LAX

A lot of posing ends the show.

Results

Matt Sydal b. Trevor Lee – Shooting star press

Christina Von Eerie b. Ava Storie – Super Backstabber

Davey Richards b. Moose via DQ when Eddie Edwards interfered

Kongo Kong b. Matt Sigmon – Top rope splash

Veterans of War b. Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara – Magic Killer to Bokara

LAX b. Decay – Street Sweeper through a table to Steve


Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – April 20, 2017: More Tapings, More Problems

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Date: April 20, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, D’Angelo Dinero

In Memory of Rosey.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: Joel Coleman/Jake Holmes vs. LAX

Konnan talks about how awesome the team is and mentions everyone by name. Cue Decay for the brawl and we take a break.

Bruce Prichard comes out and says, on behalf of Karen and Dutch Mantel (So they all officially have power? Got it.) that the main event will be for the X-Division Title. We can also add three more people to the match to make it a six way. A brawl breaks out with Dutt and Everett standing tall but getting into an argument over the belt.

Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Rosemary

LAX defends against Decay in a street fight next week.

Long recap of Laurel Van Ness and company vs. Allie/Braxton Sutter.

Chris Silvio vs. Kongo Kong

Kong suplexes him to start and hits the cannonball. A top rope splash ends Silvio at 1:18.

James Storm is ready to leave Lashley flat on his back.

Alberto El Patron is in Arizona and is going to be watching the World Title match.

Impact Wrestling World Title: James Storm vs. Lashley

Josh is very happy with the result.

Dutch Mantel says Dezmond Xavier is the fifth man in the X-Division match.

We look at Chris Adonis attacking Moose at a Border City Wrestling show.

Josh is still on commentary.

Quick recap of the main event.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Dezmond Xavier vs. Suicide vs. Andrew Everett vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. ???

Dutt moonsaults onto Suicide and Everett before sending Lee face first into the apron. Xavier avoids a Low Ki charge and moonsaults onto the pile as we take a break. Back with Everett taking the standing chest stomp from Lee. Trevor throws everyone out as Dutt seems to have an eye injury.

The announcers bicker again and Pope walks off. JB punches Josh to end the show.

Results

LAX b. Jake Holmes/Joe Coleman – Street Sweeper to Holmes

Rosemary b. ODB – Red Wedding

Kongo Kong b. Chris Silvio – Top rope splash

Lashley b. James Storm – Spear

Low Ki b. Dezmond Xavier, Sonjay Dutt, Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and Suicide – Top rope double stomp to Lee

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – April 13, 2017: Our Long Orlando Nightmare Is Over

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Date: April 13, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Opening sequence.

Reno Scum vs. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. vs. Decay

Josh leaves for a phone call.

Karen Jarrett wants to make Impact great.

Allie/Braxton Sutter vs. KM/Sienna

Post match Kongo Kong (the Fury that was to be unleashed, complete with his rather large and saggy breasts) comes in and beats up Sutter. Laurel Van Ness comes out and helps beat Allie down.

Rosemary vs. Santana Garrett

Andrew Everett vs. Marshe Rockett vs. Suicide vs. Shane Helms

Helms is in a jacket, Impact t-shirt and jeans with knee pads. Everett goes after him at the bell but Helms bails to the floor and trips Everett, only to run from Suicide. Not that it matters as everyone else hits a dropkick, leaving Rockett in control. Everett slips on a springboard spinwheel kick but takes Rockett down anyway. Helms makes a save and finally takes off his jacket. A Downward Spiral stuns Everett but he knocks Helms outside anyway. Rockett comes back with a gordbuster, only to miss a high crossbody. Everett kicks Suicide to the floor and hits Rockett with the shooting star for the pin at 6:11.

Trevor Lee goes after Everett and gets laid out.

Matt Morgan wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

DJZ vs. Davey Richards

Davey kicks him down in the corner to start but stops to kiss Angelina. That earns him a suicide dive but more kicks stagger DJZ. The top rope double stomp misses though and DJZ kicks away before grabbing a jawbreaker. Richards pulls him down with an ankle lock for the submission at 3:22.

Post match Eddie Edwards and Alisha come out for the brawl but security breaks it up.

The Veterans of War are coming.

The announcers bicker one last time.

Team Matthews vs. Team Borash

Matthews: Lashley, Bram, Eli Drake, Tyrus

Borash: Alberto El Patron, Chris Adonis, Matt Morgan, Magnus

The locker room empties out to bid Josh (who is speechless in a funny moment) goodbye.

Results

Reno Scum b. Decay and Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. – Assisted double stomp to Steve

Allie/Braxton Sutter b. Sienna/KM – Crossbody to Sienna

Rosemary b. Santana Garrett – Red Wedding

Andrew Everett b. Shane Helms, Marshe Rockett and Suicide – Shooting star press to Rockett

Davey Richards b. DJZ – Ankle lock

Team Borash b. Team Matthews – Top rope elbow to Bram

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – April 6, 2017: One Story Can Kill a Show

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Date: April 6, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero, Jeremy Borash

Opening sequence.

Eli Drake vs. Caleb Konley

This starts immediately after the opening sequence with no entrances. Drake sends him outside for a cheap shot from Tyrus, followed by some right hands from Eli back inside. A neckbreaker out of the corner gives Eli two but Caleb comes right back with a rolling palm strike. That actually sends Drake outside for a suicide dive, followed by a high crossbody for no cover. Caleb goes up but Tyrus offers a distraction, allowing Drake to hit White Noise for the pin at 4:05.

Gauntlet Match

This is basically a Royal Rumble with the final two having a regular match where the winner gets a future title shot. Ava Storie is in at #1 and Madison Rayne is in at #2, complete with the Killer Queen song. That goes nowhere so after the first one minute interval, Rebel is in at #3. Storie runs them both over with a double clothesline and Amanda Rodriguez is in at #4.

The two newcomers slug it out with no one even attempting an elimination. M.J. Jenkins is in at #5 as the announcers just act like we should know who all these new people are. Diamante from LAX is in at #6 and Rodriguez is the first one eliminated. ODB is in at #7 and sends the other five into the corner for a huge splash.

Andrew Everett vs. Marshe Rockett vs. Suicide

Everett kicks Rockett to the floor as the announcers KEEP GOING about their upcoming tag match before switching over to fantasy baseball. This is the kind of stuff you expect from One Night Only shows. Suicide knocks Andrew to the floor and follows with the falling dive. Back in and Rockett stomps on Everett before powerslamming him out of the air.

Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards

Last Man Standing and Eddie jumps Davey in the aisle. Eddie knocks him into the barricade and follows with two suicide dives as they quickly head into the crowd. Davey gets crotched on a barricade but ducks a dive, sending Eddie crashing into a garbage can for a good looking spot. Richards gets in a few kicks, stops to kiss Angelina Love, and grabs a chair.

Rating: B+. This got the time that it needed and the violence was more than enough to make it work. These two beat the heck out of each other and made it look like they wanted to kill each other. Now the problem is they need to let the feud end here instead of just continuing it for the sake of continuing it, which gets old in a hurry.

We get a video on Veterans of War involving Operation Iraqi Freedom. I believe one of them was Gunner, who is a former member of the military.

JB wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

LAX celebrates their title win.

We look at James Storm updating his theme music in a studio.

Alberto El Patron vs. Jon Bolen

Post match Alberto calls out Lashley.

Fury is unleashed next week and has something to do with Sutter and Allie.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a show where one thing really does bring the whole thing down. We had a great gimmick match and some stuff involving the World Title but what closes the show? Bickering announcers. Can you imagine if Cole vs. Lawler closed a show instead of something involving John Cena?

Results

Eli Drake b. Caleb Konley – White Noise

ODB won a gauntlet match last eliminating Madison Rayne

Andrew Everett b. Marshe Rockett and Suicide – Shooting star press to Rockett

Davey Richards b. Eddie Edwards – Creeping Death with a chain around the boot

Alberto El Patron b. Jon Bolen – Top rope double stomp

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/


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Impact Wrestling – March 30, 2017: That’s….Not Bad

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Date: March 30, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Opening sequence.

The X-Division wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

DJZ vs. Andrew Everett

Post match Gregory Shane Helms comes out to say that Everett has earned an opportunity of some sort for next week.

Fury will be unleashed on April 13.

We look back at the horrible Rebel vs. ODB match from last week with Earl Hebner kissing both of them for reasons of unfunny comedy. After a break, ODB and Hebner seemed to go on a date. There is no way this can possibly end well.

Ethan Carter III wants to make Impact great again.

Announcers, bickering, nothing of note.

Garza Jr. and Laredo Kid want to win the Tag Team Titles tonight.

We recap Cody vs. Moose for the Grand Championship. Cody wants the title but Moose was in Japan so tonight they can finally have the title match.

Grand Championship: Moose vs. Cody

Round two starts with Cody kicking the knee but missing a big kick to the head. Moose apron bombs him and grabs a chair, only to have Brandi get in his way. The distraction lets another leg shot set up the Figure Four but Moose hangs on to end the round. Cody wins the round to tie it up and round three starts with Brandi yelling at her husband and walking out.

Eli Drake wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

We look at Moose vs. Cody again.

Karen brings JB a message about a Knockouts gauntlet battle royal to crown a new #1 contender. I see absolutely no reason for Karen to have been out here for this scene.

KM vs. Braxton Sutter

Post match the four of them get in a fight with the forces of good clearing the ring. Laurel Van Ness stumbles out, somehow looking creepier every single week. Sutter and Allie look terrified.

Davey Richards wants to make Impact Wrestling better.

Fury is still coming.

Tag Team Titles: Garza Jr./Laredo Kid vs. LAX vs. Decay vs. Reno Scum

The titles are vacant coming in and this is one fall to a finish. Thornstone and Kid start things off with Scum taking over in a hurry. Ortiz tags himself in for some lucha, capped off with a backbreaker to drop the Kid. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Kid dives onto a huge pile of people, followed by Garza doing the same as we take a break.

Back with Garza getting two off a Lionsault but LAX makes the save. Abyss comes in and clotheslines Kid against the ropes but Scum tags themselves in for some corner clotheslines. Kid scores with a DDT so both members of LAX come in to clean house, including a top rope double stomp onto a hanging cutter to Steve. It means posing instead of covering though, leaving Rosemary and Diamante to get into a catfight. Ortiz loads Laredo up for a powerbomb with Santana coming off the top with a Blockbuster for the pin and the titles at 12:13.

Results

Andrew Everett b. DJZ – Small package

Moose b. Cody via split decision

KM b. Braxton Sutter – Powerbomb into a Backstabber

LAX b. Reno Scum, Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. and Decay – Sitout powerbomb/Blockbuster combo to Kid

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – March 23, 2017: That’s a Really, Really Bad Sign

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Date: March 23, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Opening sequence.

Davey Richards vs. Suicide

Josh yells at JB for saying “she” is here over and over. Josh: “STOP USING PRONOUNS!”

Laurel Van Ness is still falling apart when Sienna comes in to try and calm them down. She has a surprise for Allie and Braxton Sutter. Sienna also advises a shower but Laurel sings the Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow instead.

Idris Abraham/Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara vs. Mahabali Shera/Laredo Kid/Garza Jr.

A limo is here.

Decay vs. Reno Scum

Fury is unleashed on April 6.

Grand Championship: Eli Drake vs. Moose

LAX vs. DCC

Post match Storm gets in an argument with Kingston which should signal the beginning of the end.

DJZ wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

Moose vs. Cody for the Grand Championship is set for next week.

Rebel vs. ODB

Lashley vs. Jake Holmes

Non-title. Lashley stomps him down, stomps him down some more, hits a Dominator for two, delays a vertical suplex and hits the spear for the pin at 1:54.

Results

Davey Richards b. Suicide – Creeping Death

Mahabali Shera/Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. b. Idris Abraham/Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara – Sky High to Bokara

Reno Scum b. Decay – Double stomp to Steve

LAX b. DCC – Double team belly to back flip suplex to Storm

ODB b. Rebel – TKO

Lashley b. Jake Holmes – Spear

 

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/


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Impact Wrestling – March 16, 2017: Can We Make It Good First?

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Date: March 16, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Opening sequence.

Eddie Edwards talks about how he wants to make Impact great.

Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. vs. Eli Drake/Tyrus

Josh says that was stupid.

Kayci Quinn vs. Brandi Rhodes

Back from a break with Rosemary destroying Quinn. Thankfully this gives the announcers another chance to argue while Quinn is looked at. JB says law and order is coming soon.

Ethan Carter III wants to make Impact great.

Ethan Carter III vs. Alberto El Patron

Madison Rayne wants to make Impact great again.

JB says “she” is going to be here next week.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Andrew Everett vs. Braxton Sutter vs. Suicide

Suicide dropkicks Everett and bulldogs Sutter for two. Pope goes on a rant against Suicide because they had a falls count anywhere match back in the day but the mask kept Pope from knowing when he was hurt. We get a nice fake out with Suicide teasing diving onto Everett but instead falling backwards onto the other two. Everett hits a big springboard shooting star onto all three as we take a break.

Rating: C. I am so sick of the X-Division doing the same stuff over and over. How many times have you seen the exact same stuff over and over with the title having no real story to it? Oh and well done on capitalizing on Sutter and Allie being the hottest thing in the promotion by having Allie just be a valet and Sutter taking the fall here when you have freaking Suicide right there.

Post match Sienna comes out to warn Allie and Sutter of upcoming pain. Laurel is very pleased.

Results

Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. b. Eli Drake/Tyrus – Rollup to Drake

Alberto El Patron b. Ethan Carter III – Cross armbreaker

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/


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Impact Wrestling – March 9, 2017: Well That Was Certainly Something

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Date: March 9, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards (in street clothes) are brawling in the crowd to start and agents have some issues breaking it up.

Cody and Brandi Rhodes interrupt the fight with Cody holding the GFW Nex-Gen Title. We get a poll about seeing Cody vs. Moose tonight and the fans seem interested but no announcement is made.

DCC vs. Reno Scum

Sienna yells at the new interviewer and says Maria has suffered a nervous breakdown from the wedding and is gone. Sienna is coming for Maria.

Braxton Sutter vs. Marshe Rockett vs. Caleb Konley vs. DJZ

Post match, Van Ness stumbles out, still wearing her wedding dress and holding the champagne bottles (How are those not empty?).

Sienna vs. Rachel Ellering

There are new owners and management, which means we have a new name: Impact Wrestling. These new owners are looking for people who have achieved greatness in the past, like Prichard himself. He was around when names like Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin and John Cena got their start so he knows greatness. Now he brings out Lashley, who talks about beating everyone put in front of him.

JB gets a news break from backstage and apparently a legend, who has never been on the show before, is backstage.

The new ad campaign is Make Impact Great, with Lashley saying we need to rise together. Ok then.

JB announces Slammiversary on July 2, sending Josh into a rant about how Borash making the announcement will cut down the PPV sales.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Alberto El Patron vs. Lashley

Results

Reno Scum b. DCC – Top rope double stomp to Bram

Sienna b. Rachel Ellering – Silencer

Alberto El Patron b. Lashley – Belt to the head


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