Impact Wrestling – March 2, 2017: And So, it Ends

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Date: March 2, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Knockouts Title: Jade vs. Rosemary

Moose wants Cody.

Matt Hardy has brought the family to his zoo for a day of togetherness. On top of that though, Matt wants to see how Jeff can handle his new found powers.

James Storm vs. Jesse Godderz

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Andrew Everett

Back from a break and the Hardys arrive at an undisclosed arena.

After a look at Lashley and Barnett warming up, the Hardys are backstage and demanding a shot at the National Tag Team Titles of the World. Senor Benjamin asks the #1 contenders (apparently named the Appalachian Outlaws, who won a sixty four team tournament) for their autographs and then electrocutes them. The Hardys offer to replace them and agree to work without being paid.

The match is made and turns into a hardcore brawl in the back with Matt being left alone. Jeff is stuck in the back getting beaten down by the Outlaws but Jeff and Benjamin bust out the fireworks. The Outlaws bail and Jeff comes back to the ring for the win and the titles, setting up a big celebration.

Drew Galloway comes up to Moose in the back and offers him a shot tonight.

Laurel is in the back, crying and screaming, still wearing the wedding dress and holding the champagne.

Global Title: Moose vs. Drew Galloway

Galloway is defending and kicks Moose in the face to start before it quickly goes outside. Drew gets the better of it and sends Moose into the steps, setting up the Celtic Cross onto said steps for a near countout. The bell saves Moose but he still loses the first round. The second round begins after a break with Moose kicking Drew in the face and running him over as a bonus. A moonsault gets two on the champ so he bails up the ramp, only to get caught like you would expect.

Drew throws a chair.

We get the same Barnett video from last week.

TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Josh Barnett

Results

Rosemary b. Jade – Red Wedding on the stage

James Storm b. Jesse Godderz – Last Call

Trevor Lee b. Andrew Everett – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Moose b. Drew Galloway via split decision

Lashley b. Josh Barnett – Spear


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Impact Wrestling – February 23, 2017: They Got One Thing Right

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Date: February 23, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

In memory of George Steele, Ivan Koloff Nicole Bass and Chavo Guerrero Sr.

Wedding video.

Post break, Cody has no comment.

Eli Drake thinks Tyrus stepped way over the line and tonight he has to take a beating.

Tyrus never liked Drake.

Eli Drake vs. Tyrus

Before he gets in the ring, we get a little more Drake trash talk which is basically a way to plug the fact that Tyrus is a Fox News contributor. A single shoulder puts Drake on the floor so he offers Tyrus more money. Tyrus growls at him so Drake lays out the referee for the DQ at 2:35.

Bram vs. Jesse Godderz

They slug it out to start as Pope keeps hinting that Josh is going to be gone soon. Godderz plants him with a belly to back suplex and a Blockbuster to set up the Adonis Lock. Kingston gets on the apron for a distraction so Jesse catapults Bram into him, setting up the rollup for the pin on Bram at 3:57.

Godderz cleans house and bails before he gets beaten down.

Bad Bones vs. Josh Barnett

X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Trevor Lee

Post match Lee loads up the Pillmanizing but Andrew Everett comes in for the save.

Results

Tyrus b. Eli Drake via DQ when Tyrus hit the referee

Jesse Godderz b. Bram – Rollup

Josh Barnett b. Bad Bones – Keylock

Trevor Lee b. DJZ – Rollup with a handful of tights

 

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Impact Wrestling – February 16, 2017: I Think I Like This Better Than the Wrestling Show

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 16, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We open with a recap of the Expedition of Gold, which will take the Hardys to Tijuana, Mexico this week.

Video on Davey turning on Eddie.

Moose/Brandi Rhodes vs. Crazzy Steve/Rosemary

Kingston vs. Jesse Godderz

The DCC comes out post match but Jesse is smart enough to bail.

The bachelor party continues to be horrible with an overweight man crushing the drug dealer.

Allie tries to liven the party up with noisemakers but Maria yells at her again. Sienna just wants to drink.

Maria yells at Allie for the amount of pink at the party. Allie can be a ring bearer next week and gets frosting thrown in her face. The ladies take the gifts (including lingerie) and leave.

After the match, the Hardys teleport back to North Carolina before Konnan and company can stop them. Konnan: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY DISAPPEARED???” Back in North Carolina, the Hardys literally throw the belts into a bag and go off to win the Mid-Atlantic Tag Team Titles next week. Hint: you might not want to show us the celebration after winning the belts.

Video on Brooke returning to TNA and being targeted by the Lady Squad.

Sienna vs. Brooke

Maria offers an early distraction to start and Sienna takes over with forearms and a spinebuster. Brooke gets in some forearms of her own as Madison Rayne explains why Maria is the most amazing Knockout ever. Another Maria distraction lets Sienna get in a running clothesline as Josh talks about how you can get a Louisville Slugger baseball bat signed by Jeff Hardy. Maria chokes on the rope and offers a distraction so Sienna can choke as well. As Maria talks about how the Knockouts show their midsections, Brooke fights off the double teaming and rolls Sienna up for the pin at 5:55.

Eli Drake commandeers a camera and promises to give Tyrus a beating next week. As usual, this is one of the best things on the show.

Eddie Edwards vs. Davey Richards

Results

Brandi/Moose b. Crazzy Steve/Rosemary – Double Game Changers

Jesse Godderz b. Kingston – STO

Brooke b. Sienna – Rollup

Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards went to a no contest

 

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Impact Wrestling – February 9, 2017: Let the Expedition Begin

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Date: February 9, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Recap of the four briefcase matches from last week.

DCC vs. Tyrus/Eli Drake

Clip of Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards in a cage. Their final showdown is tonight.

Brandi Rhodes is going to call out Rosemary.

Braxton Sutter and Allie run into each other in the back. Maria comes in and yells at Allie for wasting time and sends her away. We hear about some wedding plans and Braxton has an hour to propose to Laurel Van Ness.

Brandi and Moose want a mixed tag next week.

Aron Rex vs. Robbie E.

Before the match, Aron fails to get the audience to sing his name. Rex slaps him in the face to start and of course hides on the apron as a result. Back in and Robbie throws some right hands, which seem to tick Rex off. Robbie is thrown outside so Spud can choke with his coat. That fires Robbie up and Spud is pulled inside, allowing the loaded punch to knock Robbie cold for the pin at 4:54.

The Hardys are ready for an announcement.

Clip of Edwards winning the World Title.

The Wolves and their wives (Angelina Love and Alisha) are ready.

Grand Championship: Mahabali Shera vs. Drew Galloway

Sutter drops a water bottle cap and goes to pick it up, which Laurel interprets as a proposal. Braxton: “That is the exact opposite of what I wanted to happen.”

Lashley is ready.

Matt and Jeff meet fans in Tijuana and next week, the first challenge takes place.

TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards

Davey and Angelina beat down Eddie and Alisha to end the show.

Results

DCC b. Tyrus/Eli Drake – Last Call to Tyrus

Aron Rex b. Robbie E. – Loaded punch

Drew Galloway b. Mahabali Shera – Futureshock

Lashley b. Eddie Edwards – Spear

 

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Impact Wrestling – February 2, 2017: They Managed an Upgrade

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Date: February 2, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We open with a quick explanation of Race for the Case.

Here are the Hardys to open things up with Jeff carrying the #1 briefcase. The Seven Deities have told Matt that the brothers must win as much tag team gold around the world as they can. Therefore, they have granted the Hardys, I kid you not, a teleportation device to send them on their International Expedition of Gold. Now they want the Bucks of Youth, the Day of New and the Family of Wyatts, all of whom must be deleted. Anyway, Jeff knows who he wants to fight.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Lashley

Back with Jeff making his comeback with the usual and getting two off the Twist of Fate and Swanton. Another Swanton gets the same with Lashley putting his foot on the ropes. With the wrestling not working, Jeff sends him into the steps but misses a slingshot Swanton to the floor for an even worse than usual crash. The spear retains the title at 14:03.

Tyrus and Eli Drake are ready to shock the world with their briefcase choice.

Earlier today, Rosemary tried to get Brandi to join Decay. Brandi declined so Rosemary licked her face.

And now, a day in the life of Aron Rex. This involves riding around in a golf cart and Spud putting down a mat in the back.

Sienna vs. Brooke Tessmacher

Brooke starts fast and gets two off a middle rope X-Factor. A chase goes badly though, allowing Sienna to get in a cheap shot to take. Maria adds a few kicks to the back and distracts the referee so Sienna can choke for a bit. Guest commentator Madison Rayne would rather talk about how great Brooke looks so soon after having a child, continuing the tradition of absolutely worthless TNA commentary. The AK-47 is broken up and Brooke gets a bad looking Muta Lock but Maria offers a distraction, allowing the Silencer to put Brooke away at 5:39.

The DCC wants Decay in a falls count anywhere match.

DCC vs. Decay

Grand Championship: Drew Galloway vs. Rob Ryzin

Trevor Lee wants the injured X-Division Champion DJZ in a ladder match.

X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Trevor Lee

Tyrus wants Drake to have some quiet time to prepare.

Robbie E. interrupts Rex and gets a match next week.

Drake wants Ethan Carter III with his extremely bruised hip/rib.

Eli Drake vs. Ethan Carter III

Carter gets taken down to start with Drake hammering in right hands as we take an early break. Back with Drake sending Carter face first into the apron but missing a baseball bat shot. Drake forearms him in the back/hip and says YEAH a lot. One heck of a clothesline puts Carter down but Drake takes a bit too long following up, allowing Carter to grab a jackknife rollup for the pin at 10:47.

Results

Lashley b. Jeff Hardy – Spear

Sienna b. Brooke Tessmacher – Silencer

Drew Galloway b. Rob Ryzin – Futureshock

Trevor Lee b. DJZ – Lee pulled down the title

Ethan Carter III b. Eli Drake – Jackknife rollup

 

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Impact Wrestling – January 26, 2017: Transfusion Please

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Date: January 26, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. DCC vs. Decay

Grand Championship: Drew Galloway vs. Moose

Laurel continues to be a blithering idiot and Sutter drinks a lot of wine to cope.

Knockouts Title: Rosemary vs. Jade

Gail Kim comes out to check on Jade and Rosemary mists her.

Caleb Konley is making his debut and got his start watching wrestling his entire life.

X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Trevor Lee vs. Andrew Everett vs. Marshe Rockett vs. Caleb Konley

Open Fight Night video.

TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Lashley

Lashley is challenging in a thirty minute Iron Man match. Lashley starts fast with a delayed vertical suplex but Eddie avoids the spear and kicks him out to the floor. Back in and Lashley gets two off a slam and we take a break. Lashley is still in control when we come back and the spear gives him the first fall at 8:40.

With the referee checking on Eddie, Lashley takes off a turnbuckle pad. For no apparent reason, Lashley keeps going to the ropes and knocking Eddie off the apron as this just keeps going. Back from a second break with Lashley missing a spear and going into the exposed buckle, allowing Eddie to grab a rollup for a fall at 22:20.

Results

Hardys b. DCC and Decay – Twist of Fate to Kingston

Drew Galloway b. Moose – Futureshock

Rosemary b. Jade – Superplex through a table

DJZ b. Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett, Marshe Rockett and Caleb Konley – ZDT to Everett

Lashley b. Eddie Edwards three falls to two

 

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Impact Wrestling – January 19, 2017: Here We Go Again

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Date: January 19, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We open with a recap of Lashley becoming #1 contender again last week.

Race for the Case

Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Mahabali Shera, Crazzy Steve, Trevor Lee, Eli Drake, Jesse Godderz, Kingston, Bram, Mike Bennett, Tyrus

Lee stomps Bennett in the chest and runs up to grab the blue briefcase. Lee dives off the top onto everyone else and escapes with his case, leaving Bennett to pull Steve down. We take a break and come back with Steve being thrown to the floor as Josh gets to say “playing defense” for the tenth time in the match. Bennett superkicks Matt but everyone keeps cutting everyone else off.

Steve starts cleaning house but Matt has a pre-mo-neetion telling him to get the green case. That sends everyone after it though, leaving Godderz to go for the gold case, which falls right into the hands of the DCC. Well Kingston that is but the DCC is credited with securing it. Matt takes Bennett out and Jeff gets the green case to end the match at 13:03.

Drew Galloway wants the Grand Championship instead of the World Title.

Lashley has a proposition for Edwards.

Another video on Lashley vs. Carter from last week.

Maria calls Braxton Sutter and tells him to see her when he gets to the arena. Brooke comes in and tells Maria to stay out of her business.

Brooke vs. Deonna Purrazzo

Post match Sienna lays Brooke out.

Tyrus tells us to stay tuned for the briefcase reveal.

Sutter comes up to see Maria and they talk about Allie, who still works for Maria. She wants Braxton to quit training Allie and whispers something in his ear, which seems to get to him. Now he agrees to quit training her and Maria sends him off to find Laurel. My goodness GET TO THE END OF THIS STORY ALREADY.

Moose beat Mike Bennett at Bound For Glory.

Braxton breaks up with Allie and ends their training.

Robbie E./Swoggle vs. Aron Rex/Rockstar Spud

We FINALLY get to something Grand Championship related with Moose winning the title from Rex.

Sutter has to escort Laurel out and open the door for her.

Video on the Grand Championship tournament.

Grand Championship: Moose vs. Drew Galloway

Round two starts after a break with both guys hitting big boots and Drew scoring with something like a Death Valley Driver onto the apron. Moose powerbombs him onto the apron as well but misses a middle rope moonsault. Galloway grabs the Iron Maiden but Moose hangs on for about forty five seconds to end the round.

Drew mocks the judges to end the show.

Results

Eli Drake, Trevor Lee, DCC and Jeff Hardy won Race for the Case

Brooke b. Deonna Purrazzo – Tesshocker

Aron Rex/Rockstar Spud b. Robbie E./Swoggle – Ring to the head

Drew Galloway b. Moose – Claymore

 

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Impact Wrestling – January 12, 2017: The New Beginning of More of the Same

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 12, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Lashley vs. Ethan Carter III

Last man standing with the winner getting the shot at Edwards at some point in the future. They brawl on the floor to start with Lashley hitting a powerslam on the concrete for seven, only to get slammed off the top, followed by a cutter. A suplex on the floor keeps Lashley down long enough for Ethan to set up two tables as we take a break.

Decay vs. DCC

They keep brawling out of the arena.

The Wolves say tonight is special because they can get their titles back.

Brooke is back and thrilled to get back in the ring.

Mike Bennett vs. Braxton Sutter

Post break, Maria yells about Allie screwing things up. Mike says Allie works for Maria so Maria can destroy her.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Hardys

The Wolves argue to end the show.

Results

Lashley b. Ethan Carter III – Carter was driven through two tables

DCC vs. Decay went to a Double DQ when all four brawled on the floor

Braxton Sutter b. Mike Bennett – Rollup

Hardys b. Wolves – Rollup to Richards


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Impact Wrestling – January 5, 2017: No More Happy New Year

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Date: January 5, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We open with a recap of the World Title situation with Ethan Carter III and Eddie Edwards going to a double pin and Edwards vs. Lashley going into the North Carolina woods at Total Nonstop Deletion.

Grand Championship: Moose vs. Mike Bennett

Moose is defending. The announcers try to act like this was a great friendship before just giving up on the idea. Bennett kicks him down and grabs a chinlock before hammering away to gain favor with the judges. That sounds like it belongs in some lame adventure game. Another hard chinlock ends the first round, which Bennett easily wins. Moose fights back to start the second round and hits a middle rope moonsault for an early two.

Back up and Moose dives into a cutter for two. We hit another chinlock until Moose takes his head off with the Game Changer as the round ends. After a break, Moose wins round two and grabs the chokebomb for two. He misses a top rope moonsault though and Bennett grabs a piledriver for two. They very slowly slug it out with Moose hitting him in the face but getting kicked in the chest. Another slugout is enough for them to take it to the bell at 16:49 (counting breaks). Moose wins via split decision.

Swoggle is in the back when he runs into the Hardys. Matt asks if he was sent here by Mc-Mehon to infiltrate the event. Apparently he was and Matt laughs.

Rockstar Spud vs. Swoggle

Spud wants to start this year with a win because the winning streak starts now. Swoggle starts fast with a spear, a German suplex and the Celtic Cross for a completely clean pin at 1:09.

Post match Spud quits.

Bennett goes up to Moose again and demands a rematch on the pay per view in a match where anything goes. Moose agrees.

Eli Drake holds up signs that say he gets to talk next.

Eddie is about to talk about his surprise when Lashley comes up with a threat.

Video on Total Nonstop Deletion.

Helms Dynasty vs. Decay

Post match the DCC jumps Decay from behind.

Maria has something special planned for Allie.

Allie vs. Sienna

Madison Rayne is on commentary. Allie goes right after her but gets taken down by Sienna instead. A one foot cover gets two and a sideslam gives Sienna the same. Sienna keeps getting distracted by Braxton Sutter on the floor but is still able to spit at Allie. That fires Allie up even more and she slams Sienna, only to have Laurel hug Braxton for a distraction. Allie is upset and the Silencer puts her away at 5:05.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards

Results

Moose b. Mike Bennett via split decision

Swoggle b. Rockstar Spud – Celtic Cross

Decay b. Helms Dynasty – Chokeslam to Everett

Sienna b. Allie – Silencer

Eddie Edwards b. Lashley and Ethan Carter III – Boston Knee Party to Lashley

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Impact Wrestling – December 29, 2016: The Hardy Show

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Date: December 29, 2016
Hosts: Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy

We open with House Hardy singing the 12 Deletions of Christmas.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III

From January 19.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III

Carter is defending and this is last man standing. Matt jumps him during the big match intros but Carter spears him right back and hammers away. Hardy is quickly on the floor (some hero) and Ethan drives him into various objects for an early four. A suplex onto the ramp allows Ethan to set up a pair of tables. Matt puts Ethan on both of them but gets caught on the top with a right hand. Instead Matt suplexes him back inside and we take a break.

From April 19.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

From Slammiversary.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

They trade punches to start and the longest stretch without the camera cutting is about four seconds. Jeff superplexes Matt (slow motion) and gets two off a splash before pulling out what appear to be shutters covered in ivy. Matt goes through those for two as we have music playing instead of commentary. Matt takes over with a kendo stick to the back as this is only a match in the loosest of terms.

We look at Matt explaining the Seven Deities to Jeff, who accepts being Broken.

Matt sends Reby back to the house as Decay hides behind ye olde dilapidated boat. Abyss tells someone to get to the house and Jeff dropkicks the boat into the water. Cue Senor Benjamin to say Matt needs the boat. Jeff disappears and Benjamin starts pulling the boat but Joseph Park walks out of the water. Park: “Brother Benjamin! I loved you in Final Deletion!” Benjamin tazes Park and puts him in a conveniently placed bulldozer.

th.

Next up is Bound For Glory and the Great War.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Decay

Abyss and Jeff are nowhere to be seen as Rosemary comes in with a Van Terminator of all things to give Steve two on the floor. Back in the ring, Abyss staples Jeff in the forehead. Josh: “Somebody is teeing off on somebody on the other side of the Impact Zone.” Thanks for that information Josh. Matt and Abyss fight to the back with Abyss punching out a referee. Steve and Jeff join them with Decay in control. Jeff tries to reach a bucket labeled “Lake of Reincarnation” but Steve hits him with a music stand.

Matt and Abyss stagger back inside as well with Abyss suplexing Matt on the ramp. Jeff (no longer Willow) crawls back out from under the ring and baseball slides a table into Steve. The Twist of Fate and Swanton get two on Abyss, who brings out the barbed wire board. Matt takes over and adds in the thumbtacks, followed by a Side Effect onto various sharp objects.

Tag Team Titles: Tag Team Apocalypto

Hardys, Helms Dynasty, Rock N Roll Express, Decay

Back to Lashley choking Edwards with a cord of some kind as Morton is still stuck on the crane, demanding to be let down. Road Warrior Animal of all people is here, asking how Morton got stuck up there. Decay finds James Storm in a mask but multiple other DCC members show up. One of them takes off his mask and Storm has no idea who it is. Whoever it is gets knocked out with Abyss getting the pin, which eliminates the entire DCC. Storm gets in a superkick for good measure. Steve wants to go add to this pile of bones and we take another break.

Back at the Hardy Compound, the volcano erupts with blue smoke, meaning the baby will be a boy. Vanguard I will be his godfather. Celebrating ends the show and the year.


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