Impact Wrestling
Date: May 11, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re back in the Impact Zone where the main event is over another promotion’s title. I know GFW and Impact have officially merged so it’s not as odd as it sounds but there’s something weird about the Global Force Wrestling World Title match main eventing Impact Wrestling. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Alberto El Patron beating Eli Drake to earn a shot at the GFW World Title tonight. Magnus is ready.

Opening sequence.

Andrew Everett vs. Caleb Konley vs. Dezmond Xavier vs. Matt Sydal

One fall to a finish. They start with the rapid fire near falls via sunset flips and rollups until Konley and Sydal put on stereo submissions. Neither of those go anywhere so Sydal drops a standing leg on Konley and gives Xavier a jawbreaker at the same time. Konley comes right back with a moonsault for two on Everett with Matt making a save. That’s enough of the wrestling so Everett and Xavier hit back to back dives onto everyone else. Back in and Konley hits a belly to back fisherman’s suplex (that’s a new one) for two on Sydal, only to have Everett grab the Frankendriver for the pin on Xavier at 6:24.

Rating: C. Starting the show with a match is the right call and I’m glad that they’re actually having Everett keep some of the pace instead of just having him lose and more on the next challenger. That’s how you build a division instead of just a champion and a challenger, which should help things a lot.

JB pesters Josh again.

Ethan Carter III promises that we’ll see the Cowboy tonight. I smell an impression.

KM orders a pizza and says his name is Billy. He takes the pizza from the delivery guy and starts eating but refuses to pay. The delivery guy says the bill says Billy but KM says that’s not his name. KM doesn’t like being called a liar and throws the guy out.

Here’s EC3 now dressed as a rather goofy cowboy. He talks about being a SOB from Boca Raton, Florida but sounds more like Waylon Mercy. Carter rode up on his steed Sebastian and sings a modified version of Friends in Low Places. Cue the real Storm for the beatdown but Carter takes off a boot and hits him in the head. Carter manages to handcuff him to the ropes and give him a whipping with a belt. Sounds like a strap match. The beating goes on for a good while with security taking their sweet time breaking it up.

JB annoys Josh again.

Hakim Zane/Idris Abraham vs. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr.

Zane wristlocks Kid to start but Laredo puts him on his shoulders for a missile dropkick from Garza. Things speed up with Idris running the ropes until he floors Garza (who has removed his red pants for some reason) with a hard shoulder. Idris’ charge is countered with a powerbomb onto his partner though Zane is sent to the floor. A 450 gives Laredo the pin at 3:26.

Rating: C-. Sloppy match but they kept things moving fast enough to make this work. Kid and Garza are fine for your run of the mill lucha team and there’s always going to be room for something like that. Abraham and Zane looked good too though and with another tournament coming up for the GFW Tag Team Titles (which can’t just stay vacant and then disappear), it’s nice to actually set something up.

D’Angelo Dinero wants to make Impact great.

Ava Storie vs. Laurel Van Ness

This company doesn’t have a great mental health policy does it? Van Ness is still in the wedding dress and gets two off an early spear. A kick to the face and a running curb stomp is enough for the pin on Storie at 1:36.

Spud still wants to hurt Swoggle.

Here’s LAX, some of whom are sporting white face paint, for a Decay funeral. Konnan wants to show their disrespect and tells the champs to pour the ashes on the mat. This company threw their best team at LAX and now you have a dead clown and a monster eating through a feeding tube. Now it’s time for LAX to win the GFW Tag Team Titles for the sake of Latino pride. A fan waves an American flag and refuses to sit down. Cue the Veterans of War for the save, which is the only logical way to go. A fireman’s carry flapjack into a cutter plants Ortiz and LAX runs. Good segment.

Grand Championship: Marshe Rockett vs. Moose

Moose is defending but Rockett jumps him to start and hits a Harlem side kick for no cover. A dropkick knocks Marshe off the top though and Rockett chills on the floor for the rest of the round. Moose wins the first round and wastes no time, finishing Rockett with the sitout chokeslam at 35 seconds of the second round.

Rating: D. As usual, I have no idea what the rounds are supposed to add here. Moose could just as easily have hit the says thing for a win in about four minutes and I don’t get how a brief break changes anything. Moose dominated most of the match and won clean so what’s the point of the gimmick with the rounds?

Post match Tyrus comes out for a distraction, allowing Eli Drake to come in with some chair shots to Moose. Chris Adonis runs in for the Adonis Lock and more chair shots from Drake leave Moose laying.

More JB and Josh.

Dutch Mantel announces the return of Ultimate X between Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and Low Ki for the title next week. This would feel like more of a surprise if the Ultimate X wasn’t above the ring.

Angelina Love vs. Alisha Edwards

Eddie Edwards is in his wife’s corner on crutches. Alisha charges at Love to start and we hear more about JB annoying Josh. Angelina’s comeback is cut off by a Futureshock but Davey Richards gets on the apron. That’s fine with Alisha who kicks the ropes between his legs, only to have Angelina hit Edwards in the back with a chain for the DQ at 2:32.

Eddie goes after Angelina but Davey crutches him in the knee.

Lashley will be watching the main event.

GFW World Title: Alberto El Patron vs. Magnus

Alberto is challenging and seems to have the fans behind him. An early armbreaker across the top rope has Magnus reeling and a clothesline makes things even worse. Magnus grabs a suplex and kicks away a bit as the champ is playing the de facto heel here. The back and forth continues with Patron hitting a top rope right hand to the jaw and grabbing a chinlock.

They fight to the top and both guys are knocked out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Alberto in control until he walks into a Falcon Arrow (not a sitout powerslam Josh) for two. Josh rants about Jim Ross tweeting him about how awesome he is and complains about JB some more as the guys head outside for nothing of note.

Back in and the Backstabber sets up the armbreaker on Magnus but the champ gets a rope. The Cloverleaf sends Patron to the rope as well and they head up top again. Alberto misses his top rope double stomp and hurts his knee. Magnus gets in a powerbomb but gets pulled down into the armbreaker for the submission at 18:23.

Rating: B. This felt like a main event match but the same problem persists: these two guys weren’t even in the company three months ago and they’re fighting over a title from a promotion that probably hasn’t even held thirty shows in the three years since it was founded (including all the co-promoted ones). Just drop the GFW stuff and let the Impact title be what matters.

That being said, this was quite the main event as they’ve really turned up the focus on the wrestling as of late. It’s not a classic or anything but I had a good time with it and the battle of the submission holds made it feel like a chess match. El Patron winning makes the most sense and should set up a rematch with Lashley at Slammiversary, which makes the most sense.

Overall Rating: C-. Not the best rating but they’re certainly moving in the right direction. The wrestling is getting better and the stories are getting tighter. That doesn’t mean the stories are great (or even good at times) but I’ll take a focused direction over random chaos almost any day. If they can knock off some of the nonsense (Josh vs. JB, Swoggle vs. Spud, the GFW stuff), they could be in a very good place in a hurry.

Results

Andrew Everett b. Caleb Konley, Dezmond Xavier and Matt Sydal – Frankendriver to Xavier

Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. b. Idris Abraham/Hakim Zane – 450 splash to Abraham

Laurel Van Ness b. Ava Storie – Curb stomp

Moose b. Marshe Rockett – Sitout chokeslam

Alisha Edwards b. Angelina Love via DQ when Love used a chain

Alberto El Patron b. Magnus – Cross armbreaker

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: May 4, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re starting to get close to Slammiversary and that means we need to start lining up some title matches. There isn’t a lot announced for this week’s show as things are moving at a somewhat slow pace right now. Then again we have about two months before the next pay per view so they can take their time. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week. Thank goodness as I had to pull up last week’s review to remember anything about that show.

Opening sequence.

Dave Penzer is now doing ring announcing, which hopefully means the Swoggle vs. Spud is done.

Matt Sydal vs. Eddie Edwards

Josh says Sydal made his debut in the six sided ring last week, which means Josh doesn’t know his TNA history. Feeling out process to start with a technical sequence leading to a standoff. Sydal gets in a few kicks to the legs for the first advantage before countering a slam off the top with an ankle scissors. Now why didn’t Flair ever think of that? Eddie elbows his way out of a Muta Lock and grabs a Blue Thunder Bomb for two.

A sitout F5 sets up a spinwheel kick but Eddie can’t follow up. Matt hurricanranas him off the top for two but gets sent outside for the suicide dive. Back from a break with Sydal getting two off a powerbomb, only to get caught with a middle rope Codebreaker. As good as this has been, let’s pause for Josh to rant about JB a bit. Eddie slips out of a powerbomb but the Boston Knee Party is blocked with a jumping knee to the face. The shooting star press gives Matt the clean pin at 14:51.

Rating: B+. Where in the world did that come from? This was one of the best matches the company has put on in a long time and even Josh couldn’t make ruin it for me. Eddie losing clean aside, it’s cool to see a very good, long, clean match, especially opening a show. Good stuff here and Sydal looks like a star coming out of it.

They shake hands post match. Sydal leaves but here are Angelina Love and Davey Richards to beat Edwards down. Eddie gets laid out with a chair until Alisha dives off the stage to take Angelina down.

Magnus thinks he should be in the main event of Slammiversary but now he has to face Alberto El Patron. If that’s what he has to do then so be it, but here’s Matt Morgan to say he should get the shot. Bruce Prichard comes in and makes a GFW Title match for later tonight.

KM is exercising when a custodian comes in to clean. He sweeps up trash and leaves but KM throws a piece of paper on the floor and yells at the guy for missing it. KM does it again and the custodian says it wasn’t there ten seconds ago. That doesn’t sit well with KM, who doesn’t like being called a liar.

GFW Women’s Title: Sienna vs. Christina Von Eerie

Von Eerie is defending. Sienna grabs a suplex for two to start and Von Eerie is in trouble early on. Another suplex sets up a neck crank and Von Eerie is dumped outside in a big crash. Christina tries a Pedigree on the apron but gets backdropped back onto the floor as this has been completely one sided. Back in and a Pounce completes the squash to give us a new champion at 3:56. The announcers’ biggest concern: Sienna has no respect for the Jarretts.

Rating: D. Here’s the big problem with this whole GFW thing: what is GFW and why should the fans care? Unless you were watching for about four to six weeks worth of shows two years ago, it’s just a collection of belts from a promotion that ran a bunch of house shows and hasn’t been heard from since. I get that the hardcore fans are going to know what’s going on but catering to that audience when you’re drawing 300,000 fans a week and wanting to expand is a really bad idea.

As for the match itself, Von Eerie beat a jobber last week and that’s the grand total of her exposure here until she got squashed to lose her title. Get rid of these belts as soon as possible or just drop them already. It’s clear that Impact Wrestling isn’t going to bother to explain ANY of this so get rid of them as soon as possible.

Eli Drake tells Bruce Prichard he wants in on the title picture. Instead he gets Alberto El Patron later tonight, but it’s for a shot at the GFW Title.

ODB wants to make Impact great.

JB is behind Josh and mocks his over the top mannerisms. This is still your top story.

Karen Jarrett makes Alisha vs. Angelina Love for some point in the future. Sienna comes up to brag about being champion but Karen says the target is on Sienna’s back. I still have no idea why this is supposed to be interesting.

Ethan Carter III vs. John Bolen

Carter kicks him in the face to start and chokes on the ropes. A running knee to the back sends Bolen outside. Back in and the TK3 sets up the 1%er for the pin on Bolen at 2:33.

Carter puts the new bosses on notice.

Remember how JB had a sign earlier? He still does and Josh is getting annoyed.

GFW World Title: Magnus vs. Matt Morgan

Morgan is challenging and uses the size to take over early on. A big boot sends Magnus outside but he posts Morgan for a breather. Back in and the Carbon Footprint misses so Morgan bangs up a leg to give Magnus a target. A kick to the leg sets up the Figure Four with Morgan making the ropes without too much effort.

Morgan pops up for his revolving elbows in the corner, followed by a side slam. A chokeslam gets two on the champ and the Carbon Footprint puts him on the floor. Morgan’s knee gives out so Magnus can grab the title. The distraction lets Magnus get in a low blow, followed by a Michinoku Driver and the top rope elbow to retain at 9:20.

Rating: C. Technically fine, though I’m not sure if that was a heel turn from Magnus. That right there is the big problem: these guys have had maybe a match each since returning and we really don’t know anything about them. Yeah they were here before but what are they now? They helped JB in his match so I guess they’re faces but there’s no real way to know for sure, especially given how they’re fighting over a title that just appeared with Magnus. Decent match but the booking continues to be a problem.

Lashley doesn’t care about the GFW Title because that’s the title people can win.

More JB sign stuff.

LAX wants to hurt more people.

James Storm wants to make Impact great.

Spud, in a neck brace and with his leg in a cast, stares at a picture of Swoggle. So yes this is still going. So now we have a ring announcer feud to go with the commentator feud.

Kongo Kong vs. William Weeks

Kong throws him into the corner to start and stands on Weeks’ chest. Three straight chokeslams into backbreakers (at Laurel Van Ness’ orders) set up a Cannonball and a top rope splash to put Weeks away at 2:47.

Post match Braxton Sutter comes out to go after Kong. Some right hands and a clothesline put the monster on the floor so Sutter and Allie can stand tall.

Eli Drake wants to make Impact great.

We look back at Sonjay Dutt getting hurt in the X-Division Title match two weeks ago. Dutt isn’t sure if he should have come back. If they don’t give him the title at Slammiversary, I have no idea what they’re thinking. It’s not the most interesting story but they’ve set it up.

Eli Drake vs. Alberto El Patron

The winner gets a shot at Magnus at some point in the future. Drake runs away but gets pulled back to ringside, where the referee ejects Tyrus. Eli is fine enough to suplex him on the ramp but Alberto shakes it off and hits a suicide dive. Back from a break with Drake suplexing him onto the apron and choking on the floor.

Drake’s chinlock doesn’t work but Alberto misses a charge and both people are down. Drake gets back up and grabs a torture rack neckbreaker for a close two, only to have Alberto nail a low superkick for the same. The cross armbreaker is countered into a twisting throw for another near fall as this is far more competitive than I was expecting.

Drake can’t get a superplex and of course he winds up in the Tree of Woe. For once someone is actually smart enough to sit up and pull El Patron down. A springboard moonsault gives Drake two but he gets caught in the cross armbreaker. That’s countered as well but Drake gets caught in the ropes, setting up the double stomp (from the mat instead of the stomp) to give Alberto the pin at 17:56.

Rating: B-. Good match here as Drake’s in-ring abilities are starting to match his incredible talking skills. The same problem still remains though: they’re fighting over titles that have no meaning to the Impact Wrestling fans, which becomes a problem. The story would be exactly the same if they were all just fighting for a shot at Lashley. Just say Magnus is in this spot because he’s a former World Champion and thinks he’s entitled. It’s the same story advancement and the same ending. Why is that so complicated?

Overall Rating: C+. This is a REALLY tricky one to grade as the opener and main events were both very good but everything in the middle was just there for the most part. The booking continues to cater to the fans who are already here and the stupid battling announcers are now being joined by a former wrestler/manservant vs. a former leprechaun who is the illegitimate son of the owner the biggest wrestling company in the world. You need a lot more than that to make a company work and Impact really doesn’t seem to get that.

Results

Matt Sydal b. Eddie Edwards – Shooting star press

Sienna b. Christina Von Eerie – Pounce
Ethan Carter III b. John Bolen – 1%er

Magnus b. Matt Morgan – Top rope elbow

Kongo Kong b. William Weeks – Top rope splash

Alberto El Patron b. Eli Drake – Double stomp

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 27, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s back to Orlando and of course that means more from the battle of the announcers. Last week’s show ended with Low Ki becoming the new X-Division Champion but the last thing we saw was Jeremy Borash finally punching Josh Matthews in the face. I’m not sure where we go next but I have a feeling this doesn’t end until Slammiversary in July. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s show. Rewatching it doesn’t make it better.

Opening sequence.

The announcers preview the show….and here’s Josh Matthews. This company will not tolerate bullying announcers and Borash is J. B. Loser because yes, this feud is now a parody/reference to the JBL/Mauro feud. Borash is suspended from commentary and gone indefinitely. Josh takes his place on commentary. So yeah: not only has Impact decided to have this feud keep going but now it’s referencing a feud that caused Mauro Ranallo some mental health issues along with his job.

Trevor Lee vs. Matt Sydal

Sydal is the former Evan Bourne and used to wrestle for the company. Therefore, the announcement of this being his debut is inaccurate as it would be his return, though that’s the least of this company’s problems. Sydal kicks at the legs to start but gets tossed outside. Back in and they trade some kicks with Sydal hitting something like Big Show’s Log Roll (standing legdrop) for two, only to have to deal with Gregory Helms. That goes badly for the Helms Dynasty though as some heel miscommunication sets up the shooting star press to give Sydal the pin at 4:45.

Rating: C-. That would now be two people in the X-Division using the shooting star press as their finisher. Sydal felt like someone out of the Cruiserweight Classic here with a bunch of kicks and then a high flying finisher. The division really needs some fresh blood but I’m not sure how much value Sydal really offers.

Sienna doesn’t think much of Karen Jarrett.

Here’s Ethan Carter III for a chat. After making fun of the “Make Impact Great” line, Carter talks about Bruce Prichard telling him to look in the mirror. Carter did just that and saw a demigod. He’s tired of hearing the fans telling him that they liked him better as a bad guy. Carter is going to Slammiversary to recover the glory that he never should have lost in the first place. That only leaves James Storm, who is all talk and doesn’t need to be in Carter’s world.

Cue Storm to say he’s not here to dance because he hasn’t had enough to drink and Carter isn’t a pretty lady. Storm calls him fugly and asks for a fight but Carter walks out. One more insult brings Ethan back inside for the fight with James easily getting the better of it. Carter hides behind a production assistant though and he gets in a low blow to leave Storm laying. This was a good idea for a segment but Storm was too calm about what happened last week.

KM yells at a waiter who thought the large man called his meal good. Apparently that’s what’s wrong with America today. This was basically a modern version of the Razor Ramon vignettes.

Christina Von Eerie is the GFW Women’s Champion and will fight anyone.

GFW Women’s Title: Christina Von Eerie vs. Ava Storie

Von Eerie is defending and starts fast with a running boot to the face. A few OY OY OY chants look to set up a fireman’s carry but Storie slips out and hammers away. Josh brags about breaking JB’s streak of consecutive Impact’s because he forgets that JB was already on the show. Storie puts her on the middle rope but gets caught in a kind of super Backstabber to retain Von Eerie’s title at 2:58. Von Eerie was fine but forcing the GFW Champions in still doesn’t quite work.

Swoggle comes through the crowd and messes with Spud’s hair.

Low Ki talks about wanting to revive the X-Division, which is always changing.

Video on Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards.

Alberto El Patron thinks he should be #1 contender but here’s Magnus, who says he should get the shot because the GFW Title is a golden ticket. Stephanie Jarrett comes in and makes a GFW Title match for the #1 contendership.

Video on Moose, complete with Monday Night Football music.

Grand Championship: Moose vs. Davey Richards

Moose is defending and has NFL Pro Bowlers D’Angelo Williams and Gary Barnidge in his corner. Moose throws Richards into the corner to start but gets superkicked in the leg to bring him off the ropes. Actually hang on a second as Davey stops to kiss Angelina Love. We hit a Figure Four for a long time until Moose grabs the rope with three seconds left.

Davey easily wins the first round but gets caught in an early powerbomb to start the second. Moose’s moonsault gets two but the Game Changer is blocked by more kicks. A hard running clothesline turns Davey inside out for two but he grabs the ropes until the clock runs out.

Moose wins the round to tie it up and dropkicks Davey out to the floor to start the third. Back in and Davey powerbombs his way out of a belly to belly superplex, followed by a top rope double stomp for two. We hit an ankle lock but here’s Eddie Edwards to jump Davey at 9:30 to keep the title on Moose. A previous Grand Championship match was No DQ but I don’t think the company even understands why this is still a thing.

Rating: C. The ending doesn’t help as they can’t even remember the rules for this title but at least it was a good match before we got there. They’re building Moose up as a champion that means something and that’s going to make the title change feel like something a lot more important when it finally happens.

The NFL guys shove Richards down and Barnidge gets in a slam. A few weeks ago he has one of the best brawls the company has seen in months and now he’s taking a bump that Rockstar Spud probably would have taken.

Swoggle rips up Spud’s notes so Spud pulls off Swoggle’s pants.

Matt Sigmon vs. Kongo Kong

Kongo has Laurel Van Ness, Sienna and KM with him. Sigmon’s shots to the ribs have no effect and Kongo gives him a sitout powerslam. The Cannonball sets up the top rope splash for the pin at 2:11.

Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara vs. Veterans of War

The Veterans are Mayweather (Crimson) and Wilcox (Jax Dane, former NWA World Champion). Thankfully Mayweather’s previous character is acknowledged but Josh would rather talk about the (admittedly awesome) deals on ShopTNA.com. Mario gets backdropped so it’s off to the huge Bahh. Wilcox hits a very impressive delayed Samoan drop and a High/Low gets two on Fallah. A double suplex has no effect on Mayweather so it’s a Magic Killer for the pin on Mario at 3:30.

Rating: C+. VOW looked good and I’d be interested in seeing how their offense looks on a normal sized opponent. My goodness Bahh and Bokara looked worthless here. They’re the Monster Factory Tag Team Titles because we NEED to acknowledge a training school’s titles. If you’re going to have them lose a match in such short fashion, just use jobbers.

Mayweather says the Veterans of War aren’t just characters because it’s who they are. He says they’d answer the call to go fight again at the drop of a hat but for now, they’re bringing the fight to Impact. They look forward to getting a shot at the Tag Team Titles because together, they are one. That worked very well and this team looks a lot better than most of the recent additions.

Swoggle, now in a towel, beats on Spud with a HAMMER. He hits him probably seven or eight times and is ejected by security. I know Swoggle isn’t full sized but he’s a professional wrestler and presumably lifts weights so shouldn’t these hammer shots break bones or potentially kill Spud?

Eli Drake rants about being ignored and Tyrus doesn’t think much of it.

Tag Team Titles: Decay vs. LAX

LAX is defending and this is a street fight. It’s a brawl to start (as it should be) with Decay getting the better of it, including Abyss taking both champs down with a double clothesline. The barbed wire board is thrown in and it’s off to a break. Back with a large selection of weapons in the ring and Homicide hitting Abyss in the back with a chair.

It’s time for the kendo stick shots to the back as the champs keep dominating. Abyss saves Steve from a double superplex and throws him onto both champs. A chokeslam gets no cover so Abyss pelts a chair at Ortiz’s head. Rosemary mists Abyss by mistake though, allowing Santana to spear him through a barbed wire board. Diamante German suplexes Rosemary and Abyss is sandwiched between two barbed wire boards.

Steve comes back in though and gets two off a Death Valley Driver with Konnan making the save. Thankfully Steve doesn’t bother with Konnan but he does have to deal with Homicide. That goes nowhere so Steve puts Ortiz on a table and covers him with tacks, only to have Homicide make another save. The Street Sweeper through the table retains the titles at 13:37.

Rating: C+. Good brawl with the ending looking better than anything else, though it wasn’t much of a surprise to have LAX win. They’re a better team than I thought we were going to get so the tag division is starting to look good for the first time in a long time. Unfortunately that’s it for Decay as Steve is WWE bound but at least Decay was fun while they lasted.

A lot of posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show started off really, really bad but the second half was a good bit better. The tag division is going to have to carry the show as the main event stuff with the multiple World Titles is getting already tiresome but that’s the case up and down the card. I’m sure it’s no coincidence that the best division at the moment is one of the only ones with a single title. There’s some very bad stuff on here though with the JB/Josh opening segment being more sickening than anything else and Kongo Kong being an embarrassment but the show somehow worked well enough to pass for another week.

Results

Matt Sydal b. Trevor Lee – Shooting star press

Christina Von Eerie b. Ava Storie – Super Backstabber

Davey Richards b. Moose via DQ when Eddie Edwards interfered

Kongo Kong b. Matt Sigmon – Top rope splash

Veterans of War b. Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara – Magic Killer to Bokara

LAX b. Decay – Street Sweeper through a table to Steve

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 20, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s a fresh batch of tapings with this episode being billed as live, even though it was taped a few hours ago. The big story coming into tonight is the lack of Josh Matthews on commentary after his team lost the eight man tag last week. In other news, Lashley will defend the World Title against James Storm after a fan vote. Let’s get to it.

In Memory of Rosey.

We look at James Storm winning the title nearly six years ago. Now it’s time for him to get the title back though Lashley doesn’t think much of it. Lashley: “I’m not good, I’m not bad. I’m me.”

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: Joel Coleman/Jake Holmes vs. LAX

LAX is defending. Ortiz takes over on Coleman to start and it’s a suplex/high crossbody combination for two. Holmes comes in but is quickly sent into the corner for Poetry in Motion into a cannonball. The Street Sweeper (powerbomb/Blockbuster combo) is enough to put Holmes away at 2:36.

Konnan talks about how awesome the team is and mentions everyone by name. Cue Decay for the brawl and we take a break.

Here’s Karen Jarrett for a chat. Karen introduces herself and makes a major announcement: Global Force Wrestling and Impact Wrestling have officially merged. After a very weak “thank you Jarretts” chant, Karen declares this the Night of Champions with three title matches (not counting the Tag Team Titles).

She’s ready to bring someone out but here’s Sonjay Dutt to interrupt. He used to be a big deal in the X-Division so let’s make the X-Division Title match tonight’s main event. Oh and let’s throw him in there and make it a three way so he can win the title for the first time. This brings out Andrew Everett (the original challenger) to say it’s his shot tonight alone. Now it’s Gregory Helms and Trevor Lee interrupting, saying Helms runs the division. As for Dutt, if he never won anything around here, maybe it’s because he sucks.

Bruce Prichard comes out and says, on behalf of Karen and Dutch Mantel (So they all officially have power? Got it.) that the main event will be for the X-Division Title. We can also add three more people to the match to make it a six way. A brawl breaks out with Dutt and Everett standing tall but getting into an argument over the belt.

Anthony Mayweather (better known as Crimson) talks about growing up in a single parent household. He’s lived recklessly but now he’s changing because of his five year old son. He joined the US Army after dropping of college and that helped bring him here.

Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Rosemary

Rosemary is defending. ODB starts fast with a discus forearm but it’s way too early for the Bam. They head outside with Rosemary clotheslining her onto the ramp, only to miss a top rope backsplash inside. ODB’s rams into almost her crotch sets up a middle rope Thesz press for two but another Bam is broken up. The Bronco Buster doesn’t work either and it’s the Red Wedding to retain the title at 3:44.

Rating: D+. No time to do anything here but Rosemary winning is probably the best option as they seem to be trying to turn her into something special. She’s held the title for six months already and there’s a good chance that she’ll hold it at least until Slammiversary. ODB isn’t the most interesting character in the world so having her lose makes the most sense.

LAX defends against Decay in a street fight next week.

Bruce and Karen say Suicide has been added to the main event. Sienna comes up to Karen and asks where the GFW Women’s Champion is. Karen doesn’t think Sienna should be that excited to see the champ because she’s coming. No name is given.

Long recap of Laurel Van Ness and company vs. Allie/Braxton Sutter.

Chris Silvio vs. Kongo Kong

Kong suplexes him to start and hits the cannonball. A top rope splash ends Silvio at 1:18.

James Storm is ready to leave Lashley flat on his back.

Alberto El Patron is in Arizona and is going to be watching the World Title match.

Magnus says he should be #1 contender because he’s the GFW Champion and he got the fall in last week’s eight man tag.

Impact Wrestling World Title: James Storm vs. Lashley

Lashley is defending and has Josh Matthews in his corner. Josh sits in on commentary while JB does the ring announcing, much to Borash’s dismay. Storm gets backed into the corner to start as we hear about James being here for the first day. Well that’s what JB is talking about at least. Josh on the other hand is saying he’s the Jim Ross to Lashley’s Steve Austin.

Now it’s a talk about upcoming house shows (no dates mentioned) as Storm clotheslines Lashley outside. Cue Ethan Carter III so Josh grabs a beer bottle, only to have James hit Lashley from behind. A suplex onto the steps slows Storm down as we take a break. Back with Lashley still in control until Storm fights out of a chinlock. Storm gets in a few clotheslines and a running neckbreaker for two. Lashley heads up top but gets pulled back down, setting up an ugly top rope elbow.

Closing Time looks to set up the Last Call but Storm settles for two off a powerbomb instead. Lashley’s Dominator gets the same and there goes the referee (of course). Two Last Calls get no count so Storm goes outside and grabs the aforementioned beer bottle. Carter gets in as well though and blasts Storm with the bottle. The spear retains Lashley’s title at 17:07.

Rating: B. Overbooked (of course) but still good with Carter turning like he needed to and Josh switching over to a managerial role, which is easily the best call for him. I’m assuming we’ll now get Magnus vs. Alberto for the #1 contendership and we’re likely heading towards a triple threat match at Slammiversary.

Josh is very happy with the result.

Dutch Mantel says Dezmond Xavier is the fifth man in the X-Division match.

We look at Chris Adonis attacking Moose at a Border City Wrestling show.

Moose is all fired up but here’s Adonis with his arm in a sling. Davey Richards jumps Moose from behind and will be challenging for the title next week.

Josh is still on commentary.

Quick recap of the main event.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Dezmond Xavier vs. Suicide vs. Andrew Everett vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. ???

Lee is defending and this is one fall to a finish. The last entrant is…..Low Ki, who hasn’t been around here for about two years. Low Ki is in the suit and there are no tags here, as is usually the custom. Dutt grabs a tornado DDT on Xavier while walking across everyone else’s chest in something out of the Matrix. A six way standoff sees Lee get dropkicked out to the floor.

Dutt moonsaults onto Suicide and Everett before sending Lee face first into the apron. Xavier avoids a Low Ki charge and moonsaults onto the pile as we take a break. Back with Everett taking the standing chest stomp from Lee. Trevor throws everyone out as Dutt seems to have an eye injury.

Things slow down a bit as Josh clarifies his status: “I said I’d leave. I left for a week and now I’m back.” Lee keeps throwing people out until Everett Pele’s him. We get a parade of kicks, including Xavier hitting a 619 around the post to Ki’s ribs. Dutt’s top rope splash gets two and Suicide does the fall onto everyone else. We’re officially in an overrun because we’re “LIVE” and you don’t know what’s going to happen.

Everett dives onto everyone but Xavier breaks up the shooting star. With Xavier on top, Everett tries a springboard reverse hurricanrana but only gets his legs on Xavier’s back. Thankfully Xavier lands on his feet instead of actually taking the move. Everett hits the Frankendriver on Lee, only to have Ki kick him to the floor. A top rope double stomp to Trevor gives Ki the title at 19:00.

Rating: C+. That would be annual “See, we care about the X-Division” match. I’ve never been a Low Ki fan and I’m even less of a fan of these multi-man cluster matches as they’re just a bunch of people doing spots until the final spot. On top of that, while it’s very nice to see some fresh blood, I’m so glad TNA wasted our time with the Everett vs. Lee story because HERE’S A BIG MULTI-MAN MATCH INSTEAD! The match was fun but it felt like a longer version of something we’ve seen many times before, which isn’t what the X-Division needs.

The announcers bicker again and Pope walks off. JB punches Josh to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is a really tricky one as they addressed some of the issues (needing fresh blood, better focus on the X-Division, some better matches) but ran into some new issues (the fresh blood isn’t interesting/very good, going with the short term over the long term and thinking a big multi-person match is good because it’s long and messy).

The big story of the night, the GFW merger, means nothing because GFW means nothing. Coming into tonight they were slightly below the NWA, which at least runs some regular events. GFW and Impact merging doesn’t mean anything and is really just a way to add in some new names who weren’t going to be signed by anyone else. It’s nice to get rid of the GFW (likely with a bunch of unification matches down the line) but it really didn’t need to be treated like a big moment.

All those problems aside, there was a definite energy around here and that’s a very welcome addition. Impact has felt stale and dull for a long time now and hopefully this energy keeps up over the taping cycle. It’s a better show than they’ve done in a long time, though I’m not sure I like a lot of the ideas they seem to be going with for the future.

Results

LAX b. Jake Holmes/Joe Coleman – Street Sweeper to Holmes

Rosemary b. ODB – Red Wedding

Kongo Kong b. Chris Silvio – Top rope splash

Lashley b. James Storm – Spear

Low Ki b. Dezmond Xavier, Sonjay Dutt, Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and Suicide – Top rope double stomp to Lee

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 13, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Tonight is all about the announcers as we have an eight person tag between Team Borash and Team Matthews with the winner getting…..it seems just bragging rights actually. This is the top story in the promotion at the moment as we’re still waiting on most other stories to really take off. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We get a recap of most of last week’s show.

Reno Scum vs. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. vs. Decay

It’s not a good sign when your tag division is the champs and the three teams they beat to win the belts. Josh starts off by insulting “all the marks and idiots on Twitter” as Adam kicks Garza down. It’s off to Crazzy Steve as Josh talks about all the support he has on social media. The Kid gets dragged in so Abyss can hammer away, leaving Josh to insult the fans some more.

Josh officially confirms that he’s off commentary if his team loses, thankfully followed by Pope talking about the match for a few seconds. That’s too long though so let’s plug Fury being unleashed tonight and the Fite Network app. Luster comes in for a spinebuster on Steve but gets chokeslammed by Abyss. It’s back to Kid for a springboard dropkick to send Abyss outside, followed by a suicide dive from Adam. Luster hits a running Razor’s Edge into the corner and an assisted double stomp ends Steve at 6:10.

Rating: D+. This is going to be a really, really long night with the commentary being way more annoying than it needs to be. At the end of the day, it’s a match about arguing commentators instead of the World Title situation or anything important. The match was nothing special and was your usual calamity, which happens way too often in these matches.

Josh leaves for a phone call.

Andrew Everett thinks he’s earned a title shot but the Helms Dynasty comes in to say not so fast. Instead, tonight it’s a four way with Everett vs. Suicide, Marshe Rockett and someone else. Everett has an idea: Helms himself can fill out the match. Helms is eventually talked into it.

Here’s Bruce Prichard to announce the new #1 contender by way of a fan vote. The choices were James Storm and Ethan Carter III with the fans choosing…..Storm. This brings out a ticked off Carter to say Prichard needs to read it again. Bruce says it was Carter’s idea to put the choice in the hands of the people and that one loss to Alberto El Patron probably stuck in the fans’ heads. Bruce’s suggestion is to go find a mirror and see if Carter can find out what happened to the man that used to run Impact Wrestling. Maybe the fans gave up on him for tapping out to El Patron. Carter is off to ponder.

Good segment here as Carter is really starting to sink into his heel turn, which they’ve allowed to build over time. Bruce was solid here too, which isn’t something you normally get from him. I can get where both of them are coming from and that’s not something you see too often.

Karen Jarrett wants to make Impact great.

Allie/Braxton Sutter vs. KM/Sienna

The guys start things off and here’s Josh back from his long phone call. KM misses a charge in the corner and let’s look at the commentators for a bit. Allie drops to the floor so Sienna yells a lot, allowing KM to run Sutter over from behind. As usual, commentary continues to talk about the main event and ignores Sutter slipping out of a powerslam. A suplex sends KM into the corner and Sienna misses a charge into another corner. Allie tags herself in and hits a crossbody with Sienna tripping over KM for the pin at 3:49.

Rating: D. Not much to see here again but thankfully Allie and Sutter finally won something. This story is starting to go long but at least they won a match here, which isn’t likely to be the blowoff. Allie pinning Sienna makes sense and hopefully they win a few more matches going forward.

Post match Kongo Kong (the Fury that was to be unleashed, complete with his rather large and saggy breasts) comes in and beats up Sutter. Laurel Van Ness comes out and helps beat Allie down.

Josh to JB on what happens after tonight’s main event: “I’m going to beat you and drag you out of here like United Airlines!”

Rosemary vs. Santana Garrett

Non-title and Santana used to wrestle here as Brittany. Rosemary chokes her over the ropes as Josh says he and his team are going to party in the hotel room and watch You’ve Got Mail on Pop TV. What hotel is he staying in that gets Pop TV? Back in and a clothesline in the corner sets up a t-bone suplex for no cover. A Last Chancery lets Santana do the long crawl to the ropes, followed by a handspring elbow in the corner. Josh: “Shades of Muta. Or Matthews!” Garrett misses a Lionsault though and the Red Wedding is good for the pin at 4:57.

Rating: C-. Slightly better match here and having Garrett back would be a good thing for the division. They’re really needing some fresh blood and having a familiar face (even one who wasn’t the biggest deal) back is a good thing. Rosemary doesn’t really have a top opponent to face at the moment, which isn’t good when she’s had the title for six months now.

Angelina Love stops kissing Davey Richards to say everyone deserves the suffering they’ll hand out.

Andrew Everett vs. Marshe Rockett vs. Suicide vs. Shane Helms

Helms is in a jacket, Impact t-shirt and jeans with knee pads. Everett goes after him at the bell but Helms bails to the floor and trips Everett, only to run from Suicide. Not that it matters as everyone else hits a dropkick, leaving Rockett in control. Everett slips on a springboard spinwheel kick but takes Rockett down anyway. Helms makes a save and finally takes off his jacket. A Downward Spiral stuns Everett but he knocks Helms outside anyway. Rockett comes back with a gordbuster, only to miss a high crossbody. Everett kicks Suicide to the floor and hits Rockett with the shooting star for the pin at 6:11.

Rating: C. The match was watchable (Everett’s botch aside) and all my normal X-Division complaints stand. They’ve got something interesting here with the Everett feud but the rest of the division (if you can call it that) is just floating along in their multi-man matches because that’s the only thing this company knows how to do with them. At least there’s a feud, though it hasn’t been the best executed.

Trevor Lee goes after Everett and gets laid out.

Matt Morgan wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

DJZ vs. Davey Richards

Davey kicks him down in the corner to start but stops to kiss Angelina. That earns him a suicide dive but more kicks stagger DJZ. The top rope double stomp misses though and DJZ kicks away before grabbing a jawbreaker. Richards pulls him down with an ankle lock for the submission at 3:22.

Rating: C. Just a squash here and there’s nothing wrong with that. Richards is far more interesting as a singles heel than he ever was as a tag wrestler and I’ve dug his feud with Edwards. DJZ is a talented guy and he’s not going to lose anything from a loss to a bigger star like Richards.

Post match Eddie Edwards and Alisha come out for the brawl but security breaks it up.

The Veterans of War are coming.

The announcers bicker one last time.

Team Matthews vs. Team Borash

Matthews: Lashley, Bram, Eli Drake, Tyrus

Borash: Alberto El Patron, Chris Adonis, Matt Morgan, Magnus

Alberto runs Drake over to start as the announcers are already at it again, though this time it’s a bit more understandable. It’s quickly off to Lashley, who misses an elbow on Adonis as Josh yells about Lashley spearing Pope last year. Bram and Magnus come in and quickly head to the floor for a brawl with Bram getting the better of it.

Drake can’t keep control though and it’s off to Alberto for the house cleaning. Back from a break with Tyrus running Adonis (Josh: “If that’s your real name!”) over from behind. Josh’s team starts taking turns stomping away on Adonis with Drake getting in a good looking slam.

Tyrus misses a Vader Bomb though and there’s the hot tag off to Morgan. House is cleaned and we hit the parade of finishers with Bram breaking up Morgan’s chokeslam. Magnus tags himself in as Morgan adds a Carbon Footprint, setting up the top rope elbow for the pin on Bram at 18:53.

Rating: C+. Pretty good eight man tag and the ending was the right call, which is the whole point of the show. The thing is this match showed the problem with the whole evil announcer idea: it made sense for him to be running his mouth here but it doesn’t mean as much when he’s doing it for the other ninety minutes of the show.

The locker room empties out to bid Josh (who is speechless in a funny moment) goodbye.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was more of a relief than anything else. Josh and JB’s feud has ruined a lot of shows in recent weeks but hopefully this wraps it up (assuming TNA doesn’t find a way around it) for good. The rest of the show was…..well it was certainly there. The Carter turn is going to be good but I’m not really sold on a lot of the other stuff. Maybe the new taping cycle will help but they really shouldn’t be running out of steam five weeks into a relaunch.

Results

Reno Scum b. Decay and Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. – Assisted double stomp to Steve

Allie/Braxton Sutter b. Sienna/KM – Crossbody to Sienna

Rosemary b. Santana Garrett – Red Wedding

Andrew Everett b. Shane Helms, Marshe Rockett and Suicide – Shooting star press to Rockett

Davey Richards b. DJZ – Ankle lock

Team Borash b. Team Matthews – Top rope elbow to Bram

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 6, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero, Jeremy Borash

We’re past Wrestlemania so it’s time for the real Orlando wrestlers to take their city back. Last week’s show focused on a wide variety of stories, which helped set up a lot of this week’s material. Tonight we have a gauntlet match for the #1 contendership to the Knockouts Title plus a last man standing match between Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Eli Drake vs. Caleb Konley

This starts immediately after the opening sequence with no entrances. Drake sends him outside for a cheap shot from Tyrus, followed by some right hands from Eli back inside. A neckbreaker out of the corner gives Eli two but Caleb comes right back with a rolling palm strike. That actually sends Drake outside for a suicide dive, followed by a high crossbody for no cover. Caleb goes up but Tyrus offers a distraction, allowing Drake to hit White Noise for the pin at 4:05.

Rating: D+. I’m very glad Drake has a better finisher as no one was going to buy a knee lift and clothesline for someone who is supposed to be climbing the card. Drake seems to be just a few months away from rocketing towards the main event (or at least he should be) and changing finishers was the right call. Not the worst match here and it’s a rare instance of just a match to put someone over.

Josh and JB bicker AGAIN, this time focusing on Josh calling JB ugly. Bruce Prichard comes down and demands that Josh and JB get in the ring. Josh: “I’m sorry I said I wished you were dead!” Bruce says everyone is sick of hearing from these guys so he’s got a solution. They’re both going to pick a team and we’ll see who knows the most. I hope that means the loser is off commentary.

Gauntlet Match

This is basically a Royal Rumble with the final two having a regular match where the winner gets a future title shot. Ava Storie is in at #1 and Madison Rayne is in at #2, complete with the Killer Queen song. That goes nowhere so after the first one minute interval, Rebel is in at #3. Storie runs them both over with a double clothesline and Amanda Rodriguez is in at #4.

The two newcomers slug it out with no one even attempting an elimination. M.J. Jenkins is in at #5 as the announcers just act like we should know who all these new people are. Diamante from LAX is in at #6 and Rodriguez is the first one eliminated. ODB is in at #7 and sends the other five into the corner for a huge splash.

Storie is put out after a pretty solid performance and Brandi Rhodes completes the field at #8. Brandi gets rid of Diamante and Jenkins eliminates Rebel. ODB and Brandi double team Jenkins out but Madison tosses Brandi a second later. That leaves ODB vs. Rayne for the title shot and it’s now pin or submission. Not that it lasts long or anything though as ODB hits a quick Bam for the win at 9:21.

Rating: F. Yeah this was horrible and there’s no way around it. I have no idea who half the wrestlers in this match were and commentary would rather talk about Josh being married to Madison than tell us ANYTHING about these people. To be fair though, TNA fans have proven that they’ll watch anything this company presents so they might as well fill the shows with cheap talent.

Here’s James Storm for a chat. During his entrance, Josh says he won a coin toss to determine who gets to make the first pick. So wait: do they get to pick anyone they want or do the people have to agree? Earlier tonight it was implied that the announcers have to pick the teams with JB saying Josh didn’t have enough friends to fill a lineup. Anyway, Storm says the Cowboy is back and it’s time for him to become World Champion again.

Cue Bram and Kingston to rant about Storm lying to them about the DCC. Storm says he picked the music and bought the suits while Kingston was the one begging for a job. Kingston spits in Storm’s face and takes a Last Call. Bram loads up a chair shot but gets stared down. Another Last Call sends the chair into Bram’s face and Storm hits the catchphrase.

Andrew Everett thinks he’s earned an X-Division Title match. Gregory Helms and Trevor Lee come up to say Everett can have a shot if he wins his triple threat tonight.

Andrew Everett vs. Marshe Rockett vs. Suicide

Everett kicks Rockett to the floor as the announcers KEEP GOING about their upcoming tag match before switching over to fantasy baseball. This is the kind of stuff you expect from One Night Only shows. Suicide knocks Andrew to the floor and follows with the falling dive. Back in and Rockett stomps on Everett before powerslamming him out of the air.

Everett sends both of them to the floor again and follows with a corkscrew dive. Suicide grabs something like a Black Widow on Everett as the announcers argue over whether Al Snow should have Pope’s job. A kick sends Suicide to the floor and Everett hits a shooting star for the pin on Rockett at 6:24.

Rating: C. I like the fact that they’re actually building someone up as a challenger for a title match down the line and for once there’s an actual story in this division. I have no confidence in them to follow up on all this stuff but at least we’ve got something brewing for now, which is more than they’ve done in a long time.

Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards

Last Man Standing and Eddie jumps Davey in the aisle. Eddie knocks him into the barricade and follows with two suicide dives as they quickly head into the crowd. Davey gets crotched on a barricade but ducks a dive, sending Eddie crashing into a garbage can for a good looking spot. Richards gets in a few kicks, stops to kiss Angelina Love, and grabs a chair.

Angelina throws in two more chairs with Davey setting the two of them up in the middle. Josh’s response: “I have my third member!” Eddie uses another kiss distraction to powerbomb Davey through the chairs for a six count. Not that it matters as Eddie grabs even more chairs (bringing the total up to at least six) and pelts one at Davey’s head. Eddie piles the chairs up but Angelina grabs the foot, allowing Davey to superplex Edwards onto the pile. We see Eddie’s wife Alisha Edwards in the front row for some trash talk with Angelina.

Back from a break with Davey hitting Eddie in the head with a chain wrapped fist but Alisha’s cheers bring Eddie back to his feet. Rapid fire chops have Davey in trouble and a belly to belly into the corner makes things even worse. A baseball slide sends a chair into Davey’s face and Eddie wraps a chair around Davey’s neck.

The top rope double stomp somehow doesn’t kill Davey so the women get into it, resulting in a chair taking Alisha down. Eddie gets chaired as well so Davey wraps a chain around his foot but stops with second thoughts. Angelina tells him to do it for her and Creeping Death with the chain ends Eddie at 22:43.

Rating: B+. This got the time that it needed and the violence was more than enough to make it work. These two beat the heck out of each other and made it look like they wanted to kill each other. Now the problem is they need to let the feud end here instead of just continuing it for the sake of continuing it, which gets old in a hurry.

We get a video on Veterans of War involving Operation Iraqi Freedom. I believe one of them was Gunner, who is a former member of the military.

JB wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

LAX celebrates their title win.

We look at James Storm updating his theme music in a studio.

Alberto El Patron vs. Jon Bolen

A few kicks have Bolen in trouble but he grabs a powerslam. That’s about it for his offense though as Alberto sends him into the corner for the top rope double stomp and the pin at 1:18.

Post match Alberto calls out Lashley.

Allie/Braxton Sutter and KM/Sienna are getting into it again when Karen Jarrett comes in to break it up. They’ll have a mixed tag next week.

Fury is unleashed next week and has something to do with Sutter and Allie.

Bruce Prichard is out to moderate the picking of the teams, which really is how they’re closing the show. Josh goes first and picks Lashley while JB picks Alberto El Patron. Next up we have Bram for Josh and JB picks Chris Adonis (Masters). There’s nothing in between these picks save for a little arguing here and there. Josh goes with Eli Drake and Tyrus helps Josh’s team beat down the good guys. Matt Morgan comes out for the save and gets in a staredown with Lashley as someone else gets out of a limo. We’re out of time though so go to Impact’s website to find out who the last team member is (it’s Magnus).

Overall Rating: D+. This is a show where one thing really does bring the whole thing down. We had a great gimmick match and some stuff involving the World Title but what closes the show? Bickering announcers. Can you imagine if Cole vs. Lawler closed a show instead of something involving John Cena?

This show also gave a great illustration of the problem with announcers as major characters: it was the main thing we heard about all night long. The stuff in the ring got almost no focus because we had to hear about how great Josh was and how JB didn’t want to hear about it. I’m going to assume Josh winds up being some big heel manager (which wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world) but DANG this story is ruining some good stuff on the show. Big step down from last week here and it’s almost all because of one story.

Results

Eli Drake b. Caleb Konley – White Noise

ODB won a gauntlet match last eliminating Madison Rayne

Andrew Everett b. Marshe Rockett and Suicide – Shooting star press to Rockett

Davey Richards b. Eddie Edwards – Creeping Death with a chain around the boot

Alberto El Patron b. Jon Bolen – Top rope double stomp

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/03/24/kbs-history-of-nxt-volumes-1-and-2-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 30, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

So we’re still in Orlando….with a regular episode of Impact. One might think they might try to do something special with the wrestling world’s eyes on their hometown but last week’s show ended with Karen Jarrett returning, seemingly to start a feud with heel commentator Josh Matthews. That’s special, right? Let’s get to it.

We open with a board meeting where Dutch Mantel is handing out ideas while Matthews wants to be in on everything. Karen comes in and says she needs one of the bosses to send Sienna to the ring. So wait: does Karen have authority or not? Dutch flat out said he’s not an authority figure yet he seems to be running things, so I guess Bruce Prichard is in charge? Can I get a flow chart? Anyway, Bruce and Dutch call the meeting because Josh and JB keep arguing.

The opening recap looks at the end of last week’s show with Matthews getting in Karen’s face and getting slapped down.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Karen to open things up as the announcers are already bickering. She’s here to talk about Maria Kanellis leaving, especially how Sienna has used the departure to become a huge bully. Cue Sienna (Why did Karen need Dutch/Bruce to get her to the ring if she can just call Sienna out?), who asks if there’s a problem.

Karen has been here a short amount of time and hasn’t heard one nice thing about Sienna. She’s not going to tolerate any bullying from anyone but Sienna wants to know where Karen heard this. Sienna thinks it was Allie and doesn’t think much of Karen because she didn’t marry her way into the show.

Cue a big man who Pope knows but the fans greet with a WHO ARE YOU chant. Karen looks terrified as the guy introduces himself as KM (Kevin Matthews, though not mentioned here) and says he’s Sienna’s cousin. KM shouts about demanding respect and tells Karen to shut up. Braxton Sutter and Allie come out for the save and now Karen has a backbone again. Sutter vs. KM is set for later. This was FAR longer than it needed to be, especially when most of it was just so Karen could do her best Stephanie McMahon impression.

The X-Division wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

DJZ vs. Andrew Everett

Everett kicks him to the floor to start but it’s time for a flip off, allowing the announcers to talk about AJ Styles. An armdrag sends Everett to the floor for a big flip dive, followed by some kicks in the corner. Speaking of AJ, Everett gets in a quick Pele but his moonsault hits raised feet. The ZDT is loaded up but Everett small packages him for the pin at 4:26.

Rating: C-. Impact Wrestling could go through a million bosses and regime changes and the X-Division would still get about five minutes in a meaningless match with the announcers talking about the good old days and how important it is while ignoring most of what happens in the ring. Such is life in the X-Division of course and I don’t see it ever changes. Either do something with it or scrap the thing already because this is just lip service at best.

Post match Gregory Shane Helms comes out to say that Everett has earned an opportunity of some sort for next week.

Fury will be unleashed on April 13.

We look back at the horrible Rebel vs. ODB match from last week with Earl Hebner kissing both of them for reasons of unfunny comedy. After a break, ODB and Hebner seemed to go on a date. There is no way this can possibly end well.

Here’s Rosemary, who has somehow been Knockouts Champion for five months, is here for the Burial of the Knockouts Celebration. She talks about all the women’s she’s destroyed but ODB comes out to interrupt. ODB calls herself a four time “Knocked Up Champion” and wants a shot at the title. Rosemary says the Hive disagrees and goes to leave but here are Brandi Rhodes and five other women to chase her back to the ring. A huge brawl breaks out and that’s enough to take us to a break.

Ethan Carter III wants to make Impact great again.

Announcers, bickering, nothing of note.

Here’s Carter for a chat. He wants to apologize to Karen for what happened last week but he wasn’t happy with the man he was becoming. This place is changing and he needs to change with it. Carter was the man who beat everyone around here and it’s time for him to get back to that point. He needs to be the real EC3 and become an EC3 time World Champion.

Cue James Storm in regular clothes (and with no music for some reason). He didn’t hear his name mentioned in Carter’s list of former World Champions (maybe because he was listing multiple time World Champions). Storm wants to know where Carter was when Storm was on the first pay per view. Carter: “At my buddy’s house watching the pay per view.” We hear about AMW and Beer Money so Storm wants to know where Carter was back then. Carter: “I was probably drinking a lot of beer and making a lot of money.” Storm: “Ok that’s a really good answer!”

Both of them want to be the World Champion again and, since they’re allowed to do this, they decide that the fans will get to pick which of them will be the new #1 contender. I like the idea of these two wanting to be World Champion and I especially like the idea of Storm being out of the DCC even more. This sounds like a way to turn Carter heel again, which would probably be best all around.

Garza Jr. and Laredo Kid want to win the Tag Team Titles tonight.

Reno Scum want to show everyone that they’re the best.

We recap Cody vs. Moose for the Grand Championship. Cody wants the title but Moose was in Japan so tonight they can finally have the title match.

Grand Championship: Moose vs. Cody

Moose is defending but Cody comes out with his Nex-Gen Title again. Cody gets shouldered into the corner to start but a quick DDT drops Moose. That just earns Cody a powerbomb and a middle rope moonsault for two. A big chop hits the post though and Cody superkicks one of the judges by mistake, because this match didn’t have enough rules already and needed an angle. Cody can’t quite get a cover as the first round ends. Bruce Prichard comes out to replace the injured judge and it’s Moose winning round one.

Round two starts with Cody kicking the knee but missing a big kick to the head. Moose apron bombs him and grabs a chair, only to have Brandi get in his way. The distraction lets another leg shot set up the Figure Four but Moose hangs on to end the round. Cody wins the round to tie it up and round three starts with Brandi yelling at her husband and walking out.

They slug it out with Cody getting the better of it and the announcers bickering over Josh’s wife being a fair judge. I mean, she’s not a judge but she would be a fair one if she was. Moose peppers him with left hands but eats the Disaster Kick for no cover. They slug it out again and the round ends at 9:00 with neither having an advantage. Moose wins via split decision and Josh loses it.

Rating: C. This match showed my major problem with the entire concept: they had a nine minute match with a commercial and another break between the second and third rounds, yet at eight minutes in neither can stand up? You would think they should have a deeper gas tank than that. Nine minutes is a rather odd time limit, but then again so is a round system in general. Also, what was the point in the judge going down? I’m assuming Cody will claim conspiracy, because that’s the kind of original thinking that’s going to get this company to the top.

Video on Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards. Next week it’s a last man standing match.

Eli Drake wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

We look at Moose vs. Cody again.

Karen brings JB a message about a Knockouts gauntlet battle royal to crown a new #1 contender. I see absolutely no reason for Karen to have been out here for this scene.

KM vs. Braxton Sutter

The much bigger KM (billed at 6’8) drives Braxton into the corner to start but gets kicked in the face. KM dropkicks him down and we’re off to a quickly broken chinlock. Instead it’s a double clothesline to put both of them down, leaving the women to get into a chase on the floor. Sienna grabs Allie though and the distraction lets KM grab a powerbomb into a Backstabber for the pin at 3:37.

Rating: D+. The time hurt this and I’m glad it wasn’t a clean pin. Sutter hasn’t won a big match in months and I don’t know how much longer the strength of the wedding angle and his relationship with Allie can carry him. Giving KM a victory is a good idea and there’s nothing wrong with establishing new talent, but it might help to further establish your older talent first.

Post match the four of them get in a fight with the forces of good clearing the ring. Laurel Van Ness stumbles out, somehow looking creepier every single week. Sutter and Allie look terrified.

We go to the LAX clubhouse where Konnan talks to the team before the Tag Team Title match. Has anyone brought up that Konnan has brought in a team to fight against the team that works for his own company? Like, wouldn’t it mean more money if Garza and Laredo won? I guess loyalty goes before money? It would be nice to have it brought up at least.

Davey Richards wants to make Impact Wrestling better.

Fury is still coming.

Tag Team Titles: Garza Jr./Laredo Kid vs. LAX vs. Decay vs. Reno Scum

The titles are vacant coming in and this is one fall to a finish. Thornstone and Kid start things off with Scum taking over in a hurry. Ortiz tags himself in for some lucha, capped off with a backbreaker to drop the Kid. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Kid dives onto a huge pile of people, followed by Garza doing the same as we take a break.

Back with Garza getting two off a Lionsault but LAX makes the save. Abyss comes in and clotheslines Kid against the ropes but Scum tags themselves in for some corner clotheslines. Kid scores with a DDT so both members of LAX come in to clean house, including a top rope double stomp onto a hanging cutter to Steve. It means posing instead of covering though, leaving Rosemary and Diamante to get into a catfight. Ortiz loads Laredo up for a powerbomb with Santana coming off the top with a Blockbuster for the pin and the titles at 12:13.

Rating: B. I had more fun with this than I was expecting and LAX wining is the right call. We’ve had Decay as champions, Scum really isn’t interesting and the Crash guys are fine but nothing all that memorable. LAX is over and arguably better than any other team here so making them the new champions makes the most sense. Good action here too with a bunch of chaos, which is the best option given how little we know about the teams. Keep things moving and let the action be the draw.

Overall Rating: C+. This show accomplished one major thing above all others: it helped bolster almost everything on the show. We have people fighting to be #1 contender for the World and Knockouts Titles, the X-Division Title got a mention, the Grand Championship was defended and we have new Tag Team Champions. That’s quite the usage of two hours and it’s very nice to see them actually doing something with a lot of the roster instead of just doing the same stuff over and over.

Unfortunately, there’s a lot of bad stuff here to go right along with it. I know I asked this earlier, but who in the world is running this show? I know there are multiple names but various people seem to have authority at some point or another. The worst part is the show doesn’t even need an authority figure (just say the Impact Wrestling bosses have made a decision) but with three being introduced, you’re going to wonder who is running things.

One of the names who might have authority is Karen Jarrett and we saw WAY too much of her tonight. The far too long opening segment really didn’t need Karen as Sienna could have called out Allie to the same result. It really does come off like a Stephanie impression and that’s not a good idea, especially when Karen is supposed to be a face yet she was ready to fight Sienna, who should be able to kill her. So I guess she’s a hybrid between Stephanie and Shane?

On top of that, a lot of the wrestling really wasn’t that great. It was completely watchable but that’s not quite enough. When everyone is putting their best effort out for the biggest weekend of the wrestling year, you need to do something a little better than just a somewhat above average show. The main event is definitely the best thing about the show and it helped things quite a bit.

Overall the show had more good than bad but it needs a lot of work. Getting rid of multiple authority figures (and probably a title or two) would do some good and dropping the MAKE IMPACT GREAT vignettes would give them some more time for the matches. This was a good step in the right direction but since it’s Impact, I have no reason to believe it’s going to last.

Results

Andrew Everett b. DJZ – Small package

Moose b. Cody via split decision

KM b. Braxton Sutter – Powerbomb into a Backstabber

LAX b. Reno Scum, Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. and Decay – Sitout powerbomb/Blockbuster combo to Kid

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 23, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We’re on to week three of the reboot and hopefully last week’s improvements continue here. Last week’s show was a slight upgrade from the borderline disaster of the first week but it’s not clear where things are going. The big story coming out of last week was the announcement of a Tag Team Title tournament which starts next week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a detailed recap of last week’s show.

Opening sequence.

Davey Richards vs. Suicide

Davey, billed as the Lone Wolf, comes out with Angelina Love. Richards is quickly sent to the floor so Suicide can follow him out with a big dive. That’s about it for Suicide though as Davey knocks him around and hits a hard clothesline back inside. Some kicks to the ribs have Suicide in more trouble but Davey stops to kiss Angelina. A springboard missile dropkick sends Davey outside again and, naturally, a suicide dive follows. Back in again with Davey hitting a Saito suplex but missing the top rope stomp. Not that it matters as Creeping Death is good for the pin on Suicide at 6:00.

Rating: C-. Davey and Angelina are a good combination (most married couples are) and I’m digging Richards a bit better this time around. The heel character works better than his long running face character which just felt like a guy in tights who threw a lot of kicks. The next fight with Eddie Edwards should be fun.

Josh yells at JB for saying “she” is here over and over. Josh: “STOP USING PRONOUNS!”

We go to LAX’s headquarters where Konnan talks about bringing violence out of Tijuana.

Laurel Van Ness is still falling apart when Sienna comes in to try and calm them down. She has a surprise for Allie and Braxton Sutter. Sienna also advises a shower but Laurel sings the Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow instead.

Idris Abraham/Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara vs. Mahabali Shera/Laredo Kid/Garza Jr.

Bahh and Bokara are the Monster Factory Tag Team Champions and from the Philippines/Croatia respectively. Idris and Garza start things off with Garza armdragging him to the mat and stopping to take off his (as in his own) pants. The 400lbs Baah (looks a bit like Yokozuna) comes in and shoves Laredo around before crushing him with a crossbody. It’s off to Mario to rip at the mask as Josh talks about where we can see Schitt’s Creek on demand. Laredo gets in a cutter on Abraham and the hot tag brings in Shera to clean house. A spinebuster plants Bahh and the Sky High ends Mario at 5:21.

Rating: D+. Uh, sure. I’m not entirely clear on why I should care about five people I don’t know and the worthless Shera but at least we don’t have to watch any of those expensive talents again. The match wasn’t even horrible but those might as well have been the Filler Titles instead of the Monster Factory belts.

A limo is here.

Decay vs. Reno Scum

Adam and Steve start things off with Thornstone hitting a standing moonsault, only to have Abyss come in for the staredown with Luster. That means shouting OY a lot and Abyss’ headbutt has no effect. Abyss gets headbutted into the corner and it’s back to Steve as JB says Reno Scum debuted last week (it was two weeks ago).

Thornstone is sent outside for some shots from Rosemary, followed by a lick from Steve. The beating continues with Abyss choking away and saying how good it feels. The hot tag brings in Luster for a fisherman’s buster as everything breaks down. Rosemary mists Steve by mistake and gets thrown onto Abyss. That leaves Luster to hold Steve up for a leapfrog into a double stomp from Adam for the pin at 6:56.

Rating: D. As I said before: I still have no idea why I’m supposed to be interested in Reno Scum because they don’t feel like anything special. Yeah they’re fine and all that jazz but it was basically “here’s a new team you might know from Future Stars of Wrestling”. What’s Future Stars of Wrestling? Eh, some company that we’re just assuming you know and that we’re not going to elaborate on further. Give us some promos or vignettes on these guys and let us know something about them other than their names and hometown.

Fury is unleashed on April 6.

Grand Championship: Eli Drake vs. Moose

Moose is defending Drake has Tyrus in his corner. And never mind as Cody, in a Bullet Club hoodie, has jumped Moose backstage. Cross Rhodes on the ramp leaves Moose laying and there’s no match.

Here’s LAX (with five members) to say they’re here for the Tag Team Titles. Konnan says they’re here to live and die in LAX and Homicide adds 5150.

LAX vs. DCC

It’s Santana/Ortiz for LAX vs. Storm/Bram. Storm gets double teamed to start and Santana drops an assisted moonsault. The comeback is cut off and we take an early break. Back with Storm getting in a Backstabber on Ortiz but Santana keeps him in the corner. Storm finally gets over for the hot tag to Bram so house can be cleaned. Not that it really matters though as it’s back to Storm just a few moments later. We get the stupid make one partner DDT another spot with Storm grabbing a neckrbeaker on Ortiz who DDT’s Santana. Kingston hits Storm by mistake though and a kind of double team belly to back flip suplex puts Storm away at 11:03.

Rating: C+. This is another case where the brand new team is thrown on TV but at least they have a name and gimmick we’re familiar with (assuming you were around years ago) and they were a bit better in the ring. Hopefully this leads to the end of the DCC as it’s been one of the biggest wastes of time in recent memory around here. Storm was wrestling like a face in the match anyway so you can tell they’re on borrowed time.

Post match Storm gets in an argument with Kingston which should signal the beginning of the end.

Earlier this week, Bruce Prichard sat down with Lashley to talk about his wrestling history. He’s wrestled everywhere and is really good. More on this later. Of all the people on the roster, the multiple time World Champion needs a get to know you interview? He was acting like a face here too so maybe he’s turning. Or they don’t know how to do an interview.

DJZ wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

Moose vs. Cody for the Grand Championship is set for next week.

Braxton Sutter and Allie aren’t worried about Sienna’s threats.

Rebel vs. ODB

Rebel knocks her to the floor to start but misses a top rope splash back inside. ODB takes a hit from the flask and there’s a Bronco Buster. ODB: “I’m a classy broad!” Rebel grabs her cowboy hat so Earl Hebner takes it away and kisses her because sexual assault is totally ok. Earl puts the hat on and takes a hit from the flask, earning himself a kiss from ODB. That means a Flair Flop from Earl and a TKO to Rebel for the pin at 4:01.

Rating: F. Oh just…..no. This is one of those matches where the company decides to beat you over the head with “comedy” and if you don’t like it, that’s just too bad. ODB has never done anything for me and that hasn’t changed here. Rebel looks great but, as usual, that’s not enough to warrant her being around.

More from the Lashley interview. He was about to go to the Olympics but was in a bank when a robbery broke out, which caused a knee injury. He’s here now and ready to work as hard as ever. You mean the World Champion is going to work hard?

Lashley vs. Jake Holmes

Non-title. Lashley stomps him down, stomps him down some more, hits a Dominator for two, delays a vertical suplex and hits the spear for the pin at 1:54.

JB is in the ring for the big return of……Karen Jarrett. Karen is full on face here, signing an autograph on the way to the ring. You know, because time can heal all wounds since she was the evil villain before. We get a bunch of pro-Karen chants as she’s overwhelmed by the reaction. Karen talks about all the positive energy around here but gets cut off by a FIRE JOSH chant. Karen keeps going about how special this is but Ethan Carter III cuts her off.

Ethan talks about how awesome the fans are and calls them all his friends. Everyone around here makes this place great but it’s all about the locker room. We all want to make Impact great and he’s done what he can do to so as the greatest original star this company has ever had. He’s going to do it for his own last name though….and here’s Josh to say stop all this.

Josh yells about being put at the table with the JV squad while Karen assembles this team of authority figures like Bruce Prichard and Dutch Mantel. These people are here because they couldn’t afford a ticket so they need to shut up (they edited out the part where he said “couldn’t afford a ticket to NXT”). Josh talks about his problem being with Karen and being married to Madison Rayne. It’s only a matter of time before the Jarrett Family is gone from Impact Wrestling forever. Karen slaps him down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. So much for progressing. This was a lot of really uninteresting stuff with most of these new acts being thrown out there with little to no build or set up. I still don’t know who most of them are, nor do I have any real reason to care. Other than that we got to know the four time World Champion a little bit better and then saw a former authority figure come back to yell at the heel announcer. What exactly was accomplished here? I know big stuff can’t happen every week but it’s the third show in a reboot of the company. If they’re already running out of ideas to fill in two hours, they’re in VERY big trouble.

Results

Davey Richards b. Suicide – Creeping Death

Mahabali Shera/Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. b. Idris Abraham/Fallah Bahh/Mario Bokara – Sky High to Bokara

Reno Scum b. Decay – Double stomp to Steve

LAX b. DCC – Double team belly to back flip suplex to Storm

ODB b. Rebel – TKO

Lashley b. Jake Holmes – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 16, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Take two. Last week’s relaunch of Impact Wrestling didn’t get the best reception but it should be interesting to see where things go this week. The big story coming out of last week is Alberto El Patron winning the World Title, only to vacate it due to the controversial way in which he won the belt. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s show. I think it might have used to work with WWE and it remembers when things were great before the fans left. The World Title gets more focus than anything else with Josh talking over everything a close second.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Alberto for a chat. He loves it here because he doesn’t need to pretend to be something he’s not. Here he can be El Patron and THIS IS HIS HOUSE (that’s one way to get Paige to break up with you). Last week he proved to everyone that he deserves to be the champion. He’s not here to be a talker though because he’d rather fight. That means a challenge to Lashley but it’s Ethan Carter III instead. Ethan knows how difficult it was to relinquish that title but if Alberto wants it back, he needs to earn it. Tonight, let’s make it Si vs. 3.

Alberto says no but Ethan calls him out for not wanting to fight. That’s still a no because El Patron is here to fight the big dog. Ethan shoves him down and a fight breaks out with security breaking it up. That’s FINALLY enough for the match to be accepted. Now why in the world did this not happen LAST WEEK? If El Patron can beat Carter, at least it sets him up as a title contender instead of just throwing in another WWE reject to the main event.

Eddie Edwards talks about how he wants to make Impact great.

We go to a meeting with Bruce Prichard, Dutch Mantel and two other people who seem to have authority. Ignore last week when Mantel flat out said he was NOT an authority figure. Basically they don’t know how Decay got the Tag Team Titles (they don’t know their own stories) but Prichard knows how to figure it out.

JB gets a phone call telling him that EC3 vs. El Patron is on tonight, much to Josh’s annoyance.

Video on the history of Tyrus and Eli Drake. There’s enough between them for a history package?

Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. vs. Eli Drake/Tyrus

Kid and Garza are from the Crash promotion in Mexico and this is their debut. Drake and the Kid start things off with Laredo snapping off a headscissors. Josh mocks JB for wanting to talk about the international partnerships before it’s off to Garza. Eli misses a charge and falls out to the floor for a suicide dive. That’s followed by a moonsault to the floor from Laredo but Tyrus knocks the Kid out of the air.

Back from a break with Laredo getting thrown across the ring in a good looking Tyrus suplex. Drake drops a jumping elbow but takes too much time talking, allowing Garza to come in off the hot tag. Eli takes him down as well but accidentally hits Tyrus. That means there’s no one to tag, allowing Garza to grab a rollup on Drake for the pin at 11:03.

Rating: C-. Hey, did you know that Garza and Kid are from Crash? Ignore the fact that maybe fourteen people watching this show have heard of Crash outside of the Hardys going there a few weeks ago of course. Garza and Kid were fine but nothing that hasn’t been done several times before.

Josh says that was stupid.

Video on Eddie Edwards, Moose and James Storm appearing for Pro Wrestling Noah as part of the new talent exchange. To TNA’s credit, this is pretty impressive and WAY better than their agreement with Wrestle-1.

Kayci Quinn vs. Brandi Rhodes

Quinn is making her debut. We hear about Brandi’s education, which includes degrees from the University of Michigan and the University of Miami. Not bad. And never mind as Cody comes out to say this isn’t happening. Cody isn’t happy with Impact Wrestling pimping out the Rhodes name because he’s going to do it instead. He tries to give Quinn $45 (“It’s $20 more than they were going to pay you.”) before moving on to Moose. Cody: “Moose claims that he’s in Japan. I AM JAPAN!” Cody wants Moose back here for the Grand Championship. Brandi tries to apologize to Quinn as they leave.

Back from a break with Rosemary destroying Quinn. Thankfully this gives the announcers another chance to argue while Quinn is looked at. JB says law and order is coming soon.

Ethan Carter III wants to make Impact great.

Ethan Carter III vs. Alberto El Patron

I’m surprised this isn’t the main event. Patron gets in a quick dropkick to the back for two and they’re already on the floor. We take a break a minute in and come back with Carter punching him out of the air and stomping away in the corner. Carter says this is HIS house and they head outside again with El Patron sending the arm into the post and steps. Back in and Patron cranks on the arm but has to shove away the 1%er. A backdrop sends Patron to the floor and Carter rams him into the announcers’ table for good measure. Back in and Patron enziguris him off the apron to send us to a second break.

We come back with Carter winning a slugout but getting caught in a Backstabber. Patron misses the top rope stomp though and the TK3 knocks him silly. There’s no cover though as Carter hits a second TK3 for no cover again. Instead he goes to grab a chair but changes his mind, allowing El Patron to grab the cross armbreaker for the tap at 21:50.

Rating: B-. NOW WHY DIDN’T THEY DO THIS LAST WEEK??? Patron wins a long match by beating someone who is still a big star which should put him into the title picture. Now it would feel right to have him face Lashley for the belt but as usual they did the whole thing backwards. Also it would have been nice to have a good match on the relaunch show instead of the messy Alberto vs. Lashley match but again, why go with what makes sense?

Alberto applauds Carter and says that was one of the best matches of his career. Carter takes a few seconds but shakes Alberto’s hand.

Reno Scum says they’re here for the titles and call themselves the perfect combination of athleticism and violence. That took twenty seconds and told me more than I learned about them all of last week.

Ethan is frustrated in the back but Bruce Prichard gets in his face and shouts a bunch of stuff we can’t hear.

Madison Rayne wants to make Impact great again.

JB says “she” is going to be here next week.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Andrew Everett vs. Braxton Sutter vs. Suicide

Lee is defending and this is one fall to a finish. And yes, they brought back SUICIDE because that character was begging for a revival. Allie is here with Sutter but Shane Helms seems to have lost his Gregory in the relaunch. The champ gets triple teamed to start and we hit the heavily choreographed sequence where no one can make any contact because it’s well rehearsed.

Suicide dropkicks Everett and bulldogs Sutter for two. Pope goes on a rant against Suicide because they had a falls count anywhere match back in the day but the mask kept Pope from knowing when he was hurt. We get a nice fake out with Suicide teasing diving onto Everett but instead falling backwards onto the other two. Everett hits a big springboard shooting star onto all three as we take a break.

Back with Josh plugging Schitt’s Creek and Everett eating a Superman Punch. Lee gets powerslammed so Everett goes up top, only to have Lee get caught on Sutter’s shoulders for a Tower of Doom. Cue Laurel Van Ness (still in the wedding clothes) to distract Sutter though and a jumping knee to Braxton’s head retains Trevor’s title at 12:50.

Rating: C. I am so sick of the X-Division doing the same stuff over and over. How many times have you seen the exact same stuff over and over with the title having no real story to it? Oh and well done on capitalizing on Sutter and Allie being the hottest thing in the promotion by having Allie just be a valet and Sutter taking the fall here when you have freaking Suicide right there.

Post match Sienna comes out to warn Allie and Sutter of upcoming pain. Laurel is very pleased.

Moose wants to make Impact great again. I get what they’re going for here but maybe they should stop talking about how great it’s going to be and actually do something great.

Here’s Bruce Prichard to address the Tag Team Title situation. See, titles are won and lost in the ring, not in space and time (The Hardys won the matches in wrestling rings you nitwit. If you’re going to call a story stupid, at least get the details right.). Josh points out that Bruce too the title from Alberto in a board room on Monday but of course that’s not brought up elsewhere. Anyway the titles will be decided in two weeks but here’s Decay to interrupt. They rescued the titles from space and time so they should just be handed the belts now.

Prichard looks terrified of Rosemary but here’s Reno Scum to cut them off. Garza Jr. and Laredo Kid come out to say they want the belts too and a brawl breaks out. Decay stands tall but here’s LAX (Homicide and Konnan) for the big return, followed by three more members coming in from behind to help in the big beatdown. Konnan says they’re serious “like a late period” to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was better than last week but not by much. Let’s get the good things out of the way first: Josh was WAY less annoying this time around and that makes the biggest difference in the world. He was still doing the heel schtick here but it was far less annoying and felt more like a heel I can get annoyed by rather than one that’s ruining the show. Keep it around this level and he could be valuable down the road.

Second, they had a good match. Alberto vs. Ethan wasn’t anything great or a masterpiece of any sort but it got time, told a story and was entertaining. It gives El Patron some more credibility and should set him up for a rematch with Lashley, though I have a feeling they’ll wait until Slammiversary because a former WWE star (a company they barely mentioned this week for another positive) deserves that kind of a spot you see.

As for the negatives….there are still a lot of them. The X-Division is as worthless as it was before (though the match wasn’t bad) and Allie and Braxton went from the most popular people in the company to just more names on a list but one problem outshines them all: these new people aren’t interesting. Reno Scum are every “we’re violent and a bit crazy” team I can ever remember and the luchadors might as well have been named Uno and Dos. Maybe they’ll grow on me over time but I really see no reason to care about them.

That brings me to LAX, which was an interesting choice for a big surprise reveal. They got a nice reaction from the crowd but do you really want to bring in part of an act that was a big deal ten years ago? It could be interesting to see where they go but I’ve never been a big Homicide fan in the first place.

The show was far less bad but it’s still really not very interesting. Like I said, the company needs to stop talking about how great things used to be/how great they will be and start doing something great. There are interesting things going on but this weird mix of new people who aren’t interesting and the leftovers from the old era isn’t working yet, though it’s still early.

Results

Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. b. Eli Drake/Tyrus – Rollup to Drake

Alberto El Patron b. Ethan Carter III – Cross armbreaker

Trevor Lee b. Andrew Everett, Braxton Sutter and Suicide – Knee to Sutter’s head

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 9, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s a major, major show this week as TNA completely relaunches (again), this time with Jeff Jarrett back at the helm for the first time in a long time. That means almost everything changes and it’s really hard to tell what’s coming. Lashley is still World Champion and it’s going to be interesting to see what else is still around. Let’s get to it.

We open with a package of the company’s history, including stuff all the way back from the weekly PPV days. Nearly everything gets a look and it’s actually quite the history package. Unfortunately it’s also a good example of how much potential TNA has had, only to squander so much of it.

There’s also a new opening sequence, featuring a closeup of an owl. Anthem, I know you put in some serious money but no one cares about the parent company.

Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards (in street clothes) are brawling in the crowd to start and agents have some issues breaking it up.

Josh Matthews isn’t happy with a third headset at the booth. Matthews: “THIS ISN’T SMACKDOWN!” Jeremy Borash comes out to join commentary and Josh goes into full on heel mode as he tries to throw Jeremy out. Borash talks about how we need a change so he’s here to join the lineup. He goes on about Mike Tenay handing him the torch (Matthews throws his feet on the desk and looks annoyed) and then three years ago, someone was fired from WWE.

People here looked at him (Matthews) and said THIS is what a commentator looks like. Matthews talks about broadcasting Wrestlemania from the Georgia Dome but Borash thinks the lead play by play announcer should be someone who respect wrestling. This is going on WAY too long and it’s not a good sign when the second segment is battling announcers.

Cody and Brandi Rhodes interrupt the fight with Cody holding the GFW Nex-Gen Title. We get a poll about seeing Cody vs. Moose tonight and the fans seem interested but no announcement is made.

Here’s the DCC as JB says Cody knows Moose is in Japan, triggering an argument with Matthews.

DCC vs. Reno Scum

Scum are Luster and Adam who come to the ring with their Future Stars of Wrestling Tag Team Titles (not on the line here). It’s Bram and Kingston starting things off as the announcers bicker some more, this time over who is responsible for the new referee’s shirts. Oh but now let’s stop to admire Josh’s suit, as in taking the camera off of the ring.

The match has been going on for about two minutes now and we might have spent ten seconds talking about the action. Luster catches a diving Bram in a spinebuster and a top rope double stomp gives Adam the pin at 2:26. I have no idea who Reno Scum are but I do know about Josh’s fashion sense and that’s what matters the most.

We recap the wedding and Laurel Van Ness’ breakdown as a result.

Sienna yells at the new interviewer and says Maria has suffered a nervous breakdown from the wedding and is gone. Sienna is coming for Maria.

Braxton Sutter vs. Marshe Rockett vs. Caleb Konley vs. DJZ

Only Sutter gets an entrance and it takes about a minute of action to actually name everyone. DJZ hits a big dive, leaving Rockett to powerbomb Sutter into the corner. Marshe goes up but dives into a triple dropkick, leaving everyone else to hit random spots. Konley throws DJZ to the floor for a dive before Saito suplexing Sutter. Now it’s Rockett cleaning house until Allie dives off the middle rope to crossbody him to the floor. That’s rather heelish and it allows Sutter to hit a fisherman’s neckbreaker to put DJZ away at 4:23.

Rating: D+. Same X-Division as always here with no psychology, no flow to the match, no reason to care about most of these people and not even a graphic to say who they are. I know who they are but I’m one of the people who stuck with this promotion. This is your big relaunch. Let us know who these people are and why I should care about them instead of bickering announcers.

Post match, Van Ness stumbles out, still wearing her wedding dress and holding the champagne bottles (How are those not empty?).

Sienna vs. Rachel Ellering

Ellering is Paul Ellering’s daughter and used to be a low level talent in NXT. Rachel forearms Sienna down to start as Josh is now threatening to beat JB Up in between his sitcom plugs. Pope: “For goodness sake.” JB gives Rachel’s background and Josh asks “who gives a Schitt’s Creek?”. A trip to the floor doesn’t go anywhere so Sienna forearms her down for two. Rachel gets two off a springboard spinning legdrop and Josh goes on ANOTHER rant about how great he is and insulting JB and Mike Tenay. Josh: “NOBODY CARES ABOUT THE NAMES OF THE MOVES!” Sienna wins with the Silencer at 4:16.

Rating: D. The commentary is already bringing these matches down and that’s not a good thing forty five minutes into the new era. I know I’ve been harping on it all night but that’s the biggest story of the show. Matthews is like the annoying Michael Cole on steroids and there’s no chance for anyone to even talk about the match because Josh is too busy getting this stupid character over. Turn him into a manager or something but stop having him in every match. The wrestling was nothing special as Sienna is only a slightly above average power wrestler and Ellering isn’t much better.

Here’s Bruce Prichard (formerly known as Brother Love) for a chat. Josh: “THIS IS WORSE THAN JB! WHO DUG THIS GUY UP???” He doesn’t remember Impact Wrestling being this way because he remembers people wanting to be great. They were almost there but for whatever reason, it didn’t all happen. This is not a rib but TNA is DEAD.

There are new owners and management, which means we have a new name: Impact Wrestling. These new owners are looking for people who have achieved greatness in the past, like Prichard himself. He was around when names like Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin and John Cena got their start so he knows greatness. Now he brings out Lashley, who talks about beating everyone put in front of him.

Cue Alberto El Patron, who the announcers put over as a big deal. Unfortunately the crowd doesn’t put him over as that big of a deal, though the SI chant is pretty loud. Alberto calls him a perro but here’s Ethan Carter III to cut him off. Carter wants a shot but Del Rio is given a title shot instead as Prichard can just make decisions like that.

JB gets a news break from backstage and apparently a legend, who has never been on the show before, is backstage.

Eddie Edwards is tired of Davey Richards being like this when Angelina Love comes in to say that Eddie forgot about Davey. She married a real man and slaps Eddie. Edwards chuckles and asks why the real man’s wife hits harder than he does.

Josh talks about how no one checked on him when he was injured and that’s about it until Cody comes out again to ask about Moose. JB explains that Moose is in Japan so Cody throws the Nex-Gen Title in the ring and says he’s waiting. Cody gets in the ring but jumps right back out and goes into the crowd. Josh wants to know where Moose is and ignores the Japan stuff.

The new ad campaign is Make Impact Great, with Lashley saying we need to rise together. Ok then.

Here’s Dutch Mantell on his scooter in full Zeb Colter attire. Dutch: “My name is Ze….can’t say that!” He was Zeb Colter in an alternate universe and he’s been in wrestling for over forty years. Colter has been all over the world and wrestling too him there. He’s in love with professional wrestling and he doesn’t know what he would do without it. TNA has been taken over by Impact Wrestling and now he’s going to try to make it great (not great again mind you).

Mantell was here eight years ago and saw names like AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, Bobby Roode, Sting, Kurt Angle, Kevin Nash and Booker T. but they all slowly drifted away. Dutch talked to all these guys and they left because of a lack of leadership and vision. Then the fans left (he calls them paying customers, which is kind of a stretch) and the new owners knew the people had to come back. Mantell isn’t an authority figure or a boss but rather someone giving advice. The people are his boss and he’s wrapping it up by asking everyone to put their hand over their hearts and pledge to make Impact great (the old WE THE PEOPLE thing).

And now, the Hardys wrestle/box a kangaroo. The rest of the show being more serious really does show how stupid a lot of this seems. After Jeff escapes a headlock, it’s time for an Expedition of Gold. They disappear….and we cut to Decay who now have the titles. Steve says the Hardys are now deleted, which suggests that they beat them off camera. It’s not as good as just filming a quick title change but this is WAY better than stripping the Hardys of the belts and crowning new champions. WAY better.

JB announces Slammiversary on July 2, sending Josh into a rant about how Borash making the announcement will cut down the PPV sales.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Alberto El Patron vs. Lashley

Lashley is defending. Josh asks Pope if El Patron is going to be thrown off by the six sided ring but thankfully JB is there to say the six sided ring was invented in Mexico, meaning El Patron has a ton of experience. Pope gets in a good response by saying all the experience in the world doesn’t matter when you’re facing someone like Lashley. Nice little exchange there but it might be due to how horrible commentary has been all night.

Lashley takes him down in the corner to start and chokes with the boot before they head outside. Patron’s few strikes don’t work as Lashley knocks him outside again. A suplex gets two but it’s too early for the spear as Alberto dropkicks him down. The cross armbreaker over the ropes has Lashley in trouble and here Ethan Carter III to watch. Back from a break with Alberto making his comeback, only to have the ref get bumped.

Del Rio gets the cross armbreaker as a second referee comes in. Lashley powerbombs his way out of the hold (Pope: “HAYSTACKS CALHOUN WHAT A SLAM!”) and gets two off a spinebuster. The second referee is bumped and Lashley hits a second spinebuster. Lashley goes to get the belt but Alberto knocks it into the champ’s face for the pin and the title at 17:41.

Rating: D+. This was basically the WWE main event style and I’m really not wild about seeing that over and over again. It’s not a bad match or anything but having someone show up and win the title the night of their debut isn’t the best idea in the world, especially when it’s someone as uninteresting as Patron. At least the match was watchable though and Patron seems to be a face, which is the more interesting version.

The referees huddle and Lashley is livid as El Patron leaves to end the show. There’s a good chance that’s getting overturned.

Overall Rating: D. Well that was…..that was certainly something. This show was a mess and I think I’m being nice when I say that’s all it was. The wrestling ranged from feeling rushed to bad to overbooked, which is partially due to how much new stuff was thrown at us. There were several new names introduced and it seemed like we were just supposed to know who they were. Most of them weren’t anything special and the big name was someone most fans will be familiar with but a little more time introducing them would have been nice.

That brings us to the big problem I’ve harped on all night: Josh freaking Matthews. Now first of all: THANK GOODNESS they brought JB in and didn’t have this be a two man booth as that would have been nothing short of a disaster. However, Matthews completely took over the show and made it very hard to focus on anything else. Those kind of commentators rarely work and it’s a shame that he seems to just be a Michael Cole knockoff after Cole was so irritating in his heel run. Watch some Paul Heyman or Jerry Lawler and see how to do this properly or don’t do it at all.

Overall, it felt like they were moving too fast and it became a problem. They tried to squeeze in WAY too much in one night and that’s going to catch up with you in a hurry. This isn’t something you can nail in one night so it’s going to take a few weeks to really see if something works. I’ve already lost a lot of my optimism but the best thing on the show: it FLEW by instead of the old TNA shows which felt like they lasted about fourteen hours each. Not a good show here but there’s time to iron out a lot of the kinks.

Results

Reno Scum b. DCC – Top rope double stomp to Bram

Braxton Sutter b. DJZ, Marshe Rockett and Caleb Konley – Fisherman’s neckbreaker to DJZ

Sienna b. Rachel Ellering – Silencer

Alberto El Patron b. Lashley – Belt to the head

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6