Impact Wrestling
Date: December 12, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

The tournament is finally down to two entrants with Magnus and Jeff Hardy left to square off for the title. Thankfully they’re giving us a week off from the matches to get ready for the title match instead of just blasting through it tonight. We do however have Feast or Fired tonight, with a shot at all the male titles and a pink slip up for grabs. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Dixie trying to get the title back last week.

Rockstar Spud is driving near Gainsville, Georgia as he tries find AJ’s house.

In the arena, JB is standing next to four briefcases and the Wheel of Dixie. Inside the four cases are a World Title shot, an X-Division Title shot, a Tag Team Title shot and a pink slip. We’ll get to those later though as we need to find out the stipulations for the tournament final. Before we can talk about gimmick match #2 though, here’s Angle to clear the ring and call out Bobby Roode to end this once and for all.

Roode comes out and says he’ll fight but not right now. He was eliminated from the tournament by falling through a table. Angle was eliminated because ever since he passed on the Hall of Fame, Roode has beaten him. Kurt says he could beat Roode twice in one night and the fight is on again. Security comes out to break it up and Roode gets in a low blow. Next week is Final Resolution and Bobby wants a 2/3 falls match.

We look back at Bad Influence vs. Joseph Park, focusing on Bad Influence finding out that the Park Park and Park law offices closed years ago.

Eric Young has a plan for the match and asks Park to trust him.

Joseph Park/Eric Young vs. Bad Influence

Young takes Daniels down to start before bringing in a hesitant Park. Off to Kaz vs. Eric with Young raining down right hands in the corner. Back to Park as the fast tags continue and Tenay plugs every internet feature the company can think of. A knee to Park’s gut puts him down and Bad Influence takes turns pounding on him. Par fights back but gets nervous again, so Eric gives him a few hard right hands to the face, busting him open. Abyss mode ensues and Kaz is Black Hole Slammed for the pin at 5:45.

Rating: D+. I still don’t get the appeal of Eric Young. He isn’t particularly funny, he isn’t anything special in the ring, he doesn’t do anything that others couldn’t do just as well, but he’s kept a job for several years now. Bad Influence on the other hand is actually funny and can put on good matches, which is clearly why they’re stuck in feuds like this one.

Post match Eric tells Park that he’s Abyss, which apparently no one suggested to him in 18 months.

Ethan Carter III is getting massaged before he has a Hall of Fame moment tonight. It’s going to make social media explode.

Here’s Carter for his match but he makes sure to tell Brian Hebner that he has nothing to worry about. Tonight Carter is going to face TNA’s social media guru: Jeremy Borash. JB makes a hilarious terrified face like he just saw TNA’s PPV numbers but Sting of all people interrupts Carter.

Sting asks if he can shake Carter’s hands because Carter is a skyrocket. Carter is shooting for the stars but he hasn’t accomplished anything at all. Sting isn’t cool with this because Carter is just riding his family and last name through doors that never should have been opened for him. There’s a big match coming up tonight called Feast or Fired and Carter can either enter or fight Sting right now. Carter gets in Sting’s face and says it’s on, meaning he’ll enter Feast or Fired.

Spud is still looking for AJ’s house but finds a gas station attendant who says Styles hangs out at a bar down the road.

Gail Kim vs. ODB

This is supposed to be the open challenge but Gail says she’s beaten ODB too many times already. ODB says she’s here to fight Tapa though and the brawl is on. Gail gets involved though and ODB gets double teamed down until Madison Rayne (looking great with long reddish brown hair) returns to make the save.

Spud finds the bar and imitates a redneck to get some service. He calls AJ Alan Jones (his real name) and is told he’ll get information for a drink. Spud puts down a dollar bill and asks for some mixed drink, getting a beer with a lemon instead.

Post match Spud sings karaoke and is thrown out.

Video outlining Feast or Fired.

James Storm and Gunner apologize to each other and say good luck in the match tonight.

Spud keeps looking and walks off into the dark with a flashlight.

Here’s Dixie Carter to oversee the face to face meeting between Hardy and Magnus. Earlier tonight Angle destroyed the Wheel of Dixie but she’ll give him the 2/3 falls match anyway. That brings her to AJ Styles, who is still making a mockery of her world title. Next week though she gets a new world champion and brings out the competitors. Hardy talks about winning the Bound For Glory Series last year and promises to win the title again next week.

Magnus says he sees Hardy as the best today and the final obstacle. Dixie says the final match will be called Dixieland and we get a video explaining the concept. The match starts in a cage and you have to climb over the top and go up the ramp and climb a ladder to pull down the belt. I’m sure this isn’t going to be overbooked at all. Dixie promises to make the winner the face of TNA and let them become the most important person in the company.

Velvet says she has Sabin’s back tonight in his title match, even though Sabin seems oblivious to her.

Spud breaks into presumably AJ’s house and finds the belt in a bag on the coffee table. AJ comes down the stairs and is incredibly calm considering someone broke into his home. Apparently people had called him and told him to expect a British guy, hence why the door was open. AJ says we can either call the cops or call some of his buddies. Spud leaves the belt and runs away as AJ slams the door.

Anderson says he had fun at the funeral but now it’s time to get the world title back.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Austin Aries

Sabin is defending. Aries sends him into the corner to start and takes a victory lap, including a look at Sky. The distraction lets Aries slide back in for a baseball slide to take out Sabin, only to have the champion send him face first into the apron. A gutbuster gets three straight near falls for Sabin and he drapes Aries ribs first across the top rope for the same.

Aries comes right back by draping Sabin’s ribs across the top and pounding away at Chris’ head. A forearm puts Sabin on the floor but Aries throws him back in for a missile dropkick. Sabin stops a charging Aries with a boot to the face but Austin Japanese armdrags the champion into the corner. Chris rolls him up for two but the kickout nearly sends Sabin into Velvet. The distraction lets Aries hit the brainbuster for the pin and the title at 6:08.

Rating: C. Not bad here and maybe this can get the title to mean something for a few weeks. The belt has been worthless since BFG as it always is around this time of year. It’s just a toy that TNA dusts off every now and then to make it seem like it matters but it’ll be nothing again in a few weeks.

Post break Sabin gets in Aries’ face but Aries says he’ll enter Feast or Fired and then steal Velvet.

Magnus talks about winning the world title but gets a phone call.

Preview for next week’s Final Resolution with Angle vs. Roode and Jeff vs. Magnus.

Feast or Fired

Mr. Anderson, Curry Man, Samoa Joe, Dewey Barnes, Norv Fernum, Chris Sabin, Chavo Guerrero, Hernandez, Zema Ion, James Storm, Gunner, Austin Aries, Ethan Carter III

Anderson comes out to do his entrance but Bully Ray jumps him from behind and piledrives Anderson on the stage. Ray talks about evil standing strong over good in what sounds like a quote from a rather epic speech. He says Anderson’s wife is pregnant with twins but Ray will be responsible for their future.

As for the match, there’s a briefcase at each corner of the ring and whoever gets the case gets whatever is inside. That could be a shot at the World, Tag Team or X-Division Titles or a pink slip. The bell rings and Curry Man immediately walks out and Sabin bails to the floor. Fernum and Barnes both miss dives but Aries dives on everyone to take them out. Ion dropkicks Aries through the ropes and SuperMex launches himself over the top rope to take everyone out. Gunner backdrops storm onto them as Norm and Dewey hit dives of their own. Joe hits the suicide elbow to take the jobbers out and the ring is empty.

Carter gets back in the ring and gets case #3 as we take a break. Back with Joe destroying everyone in sight until Barnes and Fernum throw him to the floor. They both go up top but Ion shoves them to the floor, allowing him to grab case #2. Most of the people get back inside and it’s Aries diving onto Storm and Hernandez. A discus lariat staggers Hernandez and Aries hits some running dropkicks in the corner. He sends Barnes and Fernum into each other before going up top for a 450 onto both guys.

Austin goes for a case but Sabin makes a save, only to be sent into the steps. Joe, Chavo and Hernandez get back inside with Chavo being launched into the corner where he grabs case #4. Gunner and Storm get back inside but have to deal with Hernandez. Dewey and Norv come back in to try a superplex on Hernandez but Gunner powerbombs him down to make it a Tower of Doom. Storm Last Calls Joe to the floor but Gunner crotches him and takes the case to end the match at 14:11.

Rating: C+. This is always a hard match to grade as there are four winners and technically no losers. The whole point of the match is the drama of the cases being opened next week and not really about the action here. Gunner turning on Storm is kind of interesting but nothing out of the ordinary. Still though, decent enough stuff.

Dixie is sitting at a dinner table when Jeff Hardy comes in. He accepts a glass of wine as the show ends.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was really chatty. We had one match in the first hour and then a lot of talking. Then there was another match and we talked some more, then we had Feast or Fired to end things. Last week’s show worked because they threw a lot of stuff at us to keep it interesting, but tonight was all about only a handful of angles which got repetitive quickly. It’s not a horrible show but it was there to set up future stuff which doesn’t make for the most entertaining two hours.

Results

Joseph Park/Eric Young b. Bad Influence – Black Hole Slam to Kazarian

Austin Aries b. Chris Sabin – Brainbuster

Ethan Carter III, Zema Ion, Chavo Guerrero and Gunner won Feast or Fired

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Impact Wrestling
Date: December 5, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s a big night tonight as we have the semi-finals of the world title tournament. The two matches scheduled are Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Roode in a tables match and Magnus vs. Kurt Angle in a last man standing match. The winners will face off in two weeks for the title in a gimmick match to be announced. At this point the question is who gets to face AJ Styles when he returns for the champion vs. champion match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks like a scene out of a post apocalyptic thriller with a WAY higher budget than TNA usually has. It’s another recap of the tournament.

Here’s Kurt Angle with something to say. Last week was Thanksgiving and he’s very thankful for his health, his family, and the fans’ support as he tries to get into the Hall of Fame. Winning the title is the path for him to prove himself and Austin Aries gave him the fight of his life in the last round. However, now he has to face Magnus so the Brit needs to come out here.

Angle asks Magnus what happened last week when Magnus left him alone four on one. Magnus talks about getting hurt in a match against Samoa Joe and getting into the tag match anyway. Magnus hurt his knee and that’s all there is to it. Angle says champions fight through injuries and he has a knee injury at the moment to prove it.

Kurt asks Magnus if he has the heart to be a champion. Magnus says he does along with the hunger to go through everyone he has to in order to become champion for the first time. He’ll prove that to Angle tonight. Angle says they may be friends, but he has to go through Magnus, Hardy and Roode to become champion.

This brings out Roode who says he has the killer instinct you need to be a world champion. We’ve already seen what Roode will do to Storm to become champion, so next up is Jeff Hardy. If he’ll do that to Storm, imagine what he’ll do to Hardy. Roode says Magnus will never be a world champion. Magnus goes for Roode but Angle holds him back. Hardy comes out to start the tables match right now.

TNA World Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Roode

Tables match. The fans are naturally behind Hardy who starts off with some right hands and the legdrop between the legs. Hardy sends him into the corner and dropkicks Roode in the back before bringing in a table. Bobby uses the breather to get in a shot of his own and sets up the table in the corner. A clothesline puts Hardy down but he stops a charging Roode with an elbow in the corner. The comeback is very short lived though as Hardy’s Whisper in the Wind only hits mat. They fight to the apron and Hardy kicks Roode in the face, putting both of them through the table and sending us to a beak as this is figured out.

Back with the match continuing and Roode in control, only to be caught by a quick Twist of Fate, knocking him onto the table. Jeff goes up for the Swanton but Roode rolls off the table before Jeff jumps. That’s cool with Hardy as he dives over the table and hits the Swanton anyway to keep control. Hardy loads up a superplex but gets crotched on the top rope in a counter. Roode tires to suplex him over the top and through another table at ringside, only to be kicked in the chest to put Roode through the table at 14:00.

Rating: C. This was fine. Roode is pretty solidly in the JBL role as his resume is strong enough to make a win over him mean something but he’s not likely to be the top guy ever again. Jeff is a good face to send into the title match as he’s over with the fans and still able to put on good matches.

Ethan Carter III gets his makeup applied and says he’s calling out a first ballot Hall of Famer tonight.

AJ’s agent has sent Dixie a letter saying the title will be back soon.

Ethan Carter is here to call out a legend who has been in the ring with the likes of Andre the Giant, Hulk Hogan and Bret Hart. Therefore, here’s his opponent: Earl Hebner. Hebner says he isn’t a wrestler but Carter says his aunt is Earl’s boss. There’s even going to be a special referee: Earl’s son Brian. Carter says Earl is going to lay down so his worthless son can count 1-2-3. Earl won’t do it so Ethan threatens him until he does it.

Ethan Carter III vs. Earl Hebner

Ethan takes his time and puts a finger on Earl’s chest for the pin at 48 seconds.

Carter makes Brian roll Earl out of the ring and raise Ethan’s hand.

We recap the Bad Influence vs. Park/Young feud and Bad Influence trying to convince Park that he’s Abyss.

We see Christy and Sam Shaw on their date. Christy gets up for a second and Shaw is somewhat obsessed with a knife. The waiter comes for the check and Shaw threatens to gouge his eyes out if he catches the waiter looking at Christy again. Christy comes back and they leave quickly.

Video recapping AJ going around the world to defend the title.

Dixie gets a delivery: flowers. The note says it’s from a fan so Dixie yells at the aide who delivered them.

Roode says he should be in the title match because you shouldn’t lose a wrestling match for falling through a table.

Dixie gives a speech to some of the roster. She has a new great idea: Feast or Fired. It’s TNA’s version of MITB. There are four cases: one containing a world, tag team or X-Division title shot each and the last containing a pink slip. You get a case, you win whatever is inside of it.

Here’s Bad Influence with an envelope containing some results. Before they can go into it, here’s Joseph Park to interrupt. Park gets serious and tells them they need to stop because they’ve won. Maybe Park never should have been in TNA and maybe he’s just an attorney. Kaz thinks that’s funny and says they have information. Park snatches the envelope from them and rips it up. Daniels thinks it’s funny and Kaz says all that proves is Park can rip apart an envelope.

We get a video showing Bad Influence at Park’s law offices to find them completely empty. They ask the secretary who says the offices used to belong to a doctor but he moved out months ago. Daniels shows her Park’s business card and apparently the law offices closed about 13 years ago.

Back in the arena, Daniels wants to know what Park has been doing for thirteen years. Park gets nervous and again asks them to drop this. Kaz spits at Park and calls him a liar before the beatdown commences. Eric Young makes the save and tells Bad Influence that if they keep knocking on the devil’s door, the devil is going to answer. Young makes a tag match next week but Park isn’t sure.

Sting gives another of his speeches to Magnus and says he’s looking forward to the main event tonight.

Dixie’s main assistant Spud is told the delivery man is here.

Bromans vs. James Storm/Gunner

Non-title. Zema Ion is DJ for the champions and gets in a great line with “Ladies remember these names because you’ll be screaming them later!” Storm throws Jesse around with ease to start before it’s off to Gunner for the same on Robbie. Zema keeps playing sound effects on the turntables. Gunner pounds away on Robbie in the corner but Jesse’s interference lets the champions take over. Jesse gets two off a dropkick but Gunner pretty easily tags out to Storm. The superkick lays out Jesse but Robbie spits beer at Gunner. The tattooed one goes into a rage and he knocks the referee down for the DQ at 4:50.

Rating: D+. This was about advancing the Gunner/Storm split which doesn’t quite work when they were only a team for about seven months. Storm really needs to get out of the tag division because there’s absolutely nothing left for him to do there. Gunner could get a nice rub out of this though.

Sting tries to go in to see Angle but Spud stops him. Sting makes fun of Spud’s job title and is told that Dixie wants him out. If Dixie wants him to leave, come tell him to his face. Spud goes to see the delivery man and Sting wants to know what’s going on around here.

Gail Kim and her husband say don’t send her any more challengers until you have someone good.

Chris Sabin is looking in a mirror while Velvet Sky checks her hair. It’s Sabin vs. Aries next week for the X Title. Velvet asks if she looks good and Sabin picks up the belt and says they look good.

Gail Kim vs. Laura Dennis

From what I can find, Dennis is an indy wrestler named Cherry Bomb who has worked in Shimmer, CZW and ROH. Gail runs her over to start and sends Laura into the corner for a running cross body. Kim talks a lot of trash but gets slapped in the face. Some clotheslines put Kim down and a running forearm gets two but Gail gets some feet up in the corner. Eat Defeat gets the pin at 3:02.

Rating: D. We need to get to Tapa crushing Kim already so we can stop caring about either of them at all. These one off girls aren’t helping the division’s major problem at all but it’s better than seeing the same matches over and over again. This was just a squash though which doesn’t do anything for anyone.

Post match Gail hits another Eat Defeat but before Tapa can beat up Dennis again, ODB comes out for the save. Tapa is knocked to the floor and ODB slaps her chest.

TNA World Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Kurt Angle vs. Magnus

Last man standing. Angle takes him into the corner to start but Magnus counters into an armbreaker followed by a headlock. Back up and Magnus pounds away to drive Angle into the corner, only to have a double clothesline put both guys down. They slug it out some more and we take a break.

Back with…..Dixie receiving the package she’s been waiting for all night. We go back to the arena to see Angle taken down by something we don’t see for a five count. Angle comes back with five Rolling Germans but Magnus gets up at five. Kurt spears Magnus to the floor but both guys are up by 8. Magnus tries to get back in but has to elbow out of the German suplex off the apron.

The elbow drop off the apron has Kurt in trouble but he gets up at nine. Back in and Angle hits a quick snap suplex but misses the moonsault. Magnus picks him up and hits a modified Rock Bottom (arm around the ribs instead of the chest) and the top rope elbow gets nine. Angle accidentally takes out the referee before hitting the Angle Slam. Cue Roode with a clothesline to the back of Kurt’s head and an Attitude Adjustment. Magnus gets back up but Angle can’t make the ten count at 15:23.

Rating: C+. Not great here but it could have been much worse. Angle is great in the role of guy you can throw out there for a good match and to put someone over at any time. It wasn’t a great match but it advances Roode vs. Angle which needs to end after the next match. Good match here but not great.

Hardy saves Angle and wishes Magnus luck with a handshake.

Dixie opens the box and finds a toy belt.

We get a video from AJ, saying Dixie needs to come to Georgia if she wants the belt back.

Overall Rating: B-. This was one of TNA’s better shows in a long time. The matches were good, but more importantly than that the stories felt like they were important and got the time that they needed to develop. Nothing came off as stupid or like a waste of time and those are things that have been plaguing TNA for months now.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Bobby Roode – Hardy kicked Roode through a table.

Ethan Carter III b. Earl Hebner – Hebner laid down for Carter

Bromans b. Gunner/James Storm via DQ when Gunner shoved the referee

Gail Kim b. Laura Dennis – Eat Defeat

Magnus b. Kurt Angle – Angle couldn’t answer the ten count

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Impact Wrestling
Date: December 1, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’ve got two more shows before Final Resolution and the card is starting to come together. It feels like a filler PPV until we get to something a lot bigger. The interesting thing will be if Storm is allowed to wrestle again as he’s really getting hurt by being injured as the mini-feud with Roode he had made him the real star out of the whole thing. But it’s a concussion so it’s hard to say when he’ll be better. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of Roode’s family talking about how he’s pretty much abandoned them and it’s all about him anymore. Cool idea given how he was pushed as this family man when he was going for the title.

Sting opens the show and says everyone is trying to run this place. Right now, he’s going to deal with Bobby Roode, so get on out here. Roode says let’s get this over with. Sting talks about how Roode has done all this stuff and jumped Styles and Hardy to end the show. Roode calls it great TV and says Sting is welcome for what he’s done recently. Sting says he runs the place and it’s run his way. For every bad thing Roode does, there’s a consequence, which starts right now.

Cue AJ and Roode says Sting is fighting AJ’s battles now. Sting also brings out Hardy who asks why Roode doesn’t respect Sting’s authority. Sting says screw you Bobby and makes it a three way match for the main event tonight.

The Knockouts are in robes while Karen yells. She gets in Velvet’s face and yells about disrespect and all that jazz. Tonight they’re going to wash six cars and then the rest of them. Oh and they’ll be in swimsuits. Madison gladly disrobes and looks pretty good underneath it.

Jeff Hardy says he and AJ are about to go talk strategy. Jarrett comes up and takes his jacket off. He wants to know why Hardy thinks he belongs here. Hardy says this is his last shot. Jarrett throws his jacket in Hardy’s face and beats him down. Here’s your backstage brawl of the week.

Bischoff meets with Ray in the back because they don’t have an office anymore. Eric wants Ray to wait before killing his kid. Yeah brilliant there dude. Instead, let’s get rid of Abyss. Ray put him through a table and it did nothing so Eric suggests talking to him. Ray thinks he’s nuts (both Eric and Abyss) so he’ll get Scott Steiner to help talk. Oh geez.

The Knockouts are in bikinis and washing cars and Tara is forced to disrobe. ODB gets a street fight with Mickie James for some reason. If she hurts Mickie she’s the new #1 contender.

Mexican America vs. Ink Inc vs. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero

Winners are #1 contenders. D-Von and Pope clear the ring until we get down to Pope vs. Anarquia with the street preacher taking over. The Mexicans finally take over until it’s a hot tag to D-Von. There’s nothing interesting going on here. I still want to know why they think pushing D-Von is a good thing. Neal tags himself in, spears Hernandez but walks into a spinebuster from D-Von for the pin at 5:06.

Rating: D+. Whatever man. The tag division is such a joke anymore without any solid teams in there. It’s like the tag champions and the #1 contenders are just slapped together with no real rhyme or reason. This isn’t going to be much of a match and does anyone buy that these guys are going to get the titles?

Here’s Austin Aries to talk a bit. He says he has a problem as the greatest man that ever lived. His plan was to revitalize the division and bring in some greatness, but his greatness is so far ahead of everyone else. It’s time to call this the A Double division. No one can hold a candle to him so….oh dang it here’s Kid Kash.

He talks about Turning Point and how Aries screwed him over after Kash took out Sorensen for him. It’s an old vs. new argument and Aries says he’s champion. Kash says he held it before. Aries says shake my hand and you have a shot. They shake hands and punch each other at the same time. I think that’s supposed to be a face turn for Kash.

Gunner goes to find Garrett Bischoff at a gym.

AJ says he’ll win tonight.

Gunner tries to find Garrett Bischoff but finds someone else who he beats up. No one else seems to care. He keeps looking and annoys someone else. Gunner beats up two more people and then the original guy comes back. There’s a clothesline for him and then he chokes the guy down. He hurts a guy’s arm and tried to be menacing, saying he’s coming for Garrett.

Sting yells at Jarrett, telling him to stay out of the main event tonight. Jarrett says Sting has no room to talk because he was in the match with Hardy at Victory Road. Sting says there will be consequences if Jarrett interferes. Jarrett says he might be willing to pay that consequence.

More parenting stuff from Roode’s “wife”.

The Knockouts are still washing cars. Taz’s car is in line for later and a bus or something like that comes up.

Steiner is lifting weights when Ray comes up to talk about Abyss. CAN WE HAVE A WRESTLING MATCH ALREADY??? Steiner suggests offering a freak to Abyss to get him to join their team again.

Mickie James vs. ODB

Street fight. It’s a brawl on the ramp to start and they roll towards the ring. Street fights mean falls count anywhere here I guess. Mickie’s rana is countered into a powerbomb. They go into the crowd and Mickie fights back in front of a handicap ramp. ODB hits her with a lot of metal stuff and Mickie looks a bit dead. We do the odd hardcore match thing where people insist on walking around.

She walks around even more until Mickie gets in a chop. Gee, I wonder if the minute long walk had anything to do with her getting a second wind. Back to the ring and Mickie starts her comeback. ODB breaks up the jumping DDT and gets a chair. Like any idiot, she holds it in front of her face to allow Mickie to kick the chair into her face for the pin at 7:00.

Rating: D+. Well that was pretty dull. I have no idea why they went walking around like that but I never get that in any wrestling match with hardcore rules. ODB continues to look like an idiot and the girls are still better than the Divas, but they’re still nothing to blow my skirt up. The weak show continues.

Storm (at home) says he’s still out with a concussion. Angle interrupts and asks Storm how it felt to have his head bashed in and how his daughter reacted to it. Angle blames Storm for losing the title so Angle says be here next week to confirm a match at Final Resolution. Storm says it’ll be a beating, not a match.

Some chicks are in the back and looking for Abyss.

We see the long version of Roode’s family complaining. Roode says he got them a bunch of stuff with the money so if he’s a user, so are they.

TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Robbie E

Why do I have a feeling the obvious ending isn’t the one that is going to happen? RVD dominates to start and sends Robbie to the floor quickly. Big Rob gets in a shot to take over and Robbie pounds away a bit. Back to the floor and here’s Eric Young in underwear with a fire extinguisher. RVD gets a kick to the face and hits the Five Star but Eric has the referee. Daniels runs in and hits Angel’s Wings on RVD so Robbie can get the pin at 4:02.

Rating: Rob. What else do you want me to call it? This was about as predictable as you could want it to be, which isn’t saying much. The match wasn’t the point here obviously and the idea was to have Daniels run in and Young to be all wacky because that’s all he knows how to do.

Steiner’s girls are all messed up after meeting Abyss.

The Knockouts get in a fight with the water and soap. Karen comes in with garden hoses and sprays them all down.

Robert Roode vs. AJ Styles vs. Jeff Hardy

This has over twenty minutes to go so maybe it’ll be good. This is non-title of course. Roode immediately hits the floor and we get our first contact about a minute in with both guys beating on Roode. He gets ping-ponged between the two of them and then clotheslined to the floor. Time for the face showdown….or not. Instead they get in a mini argument over who gets to dive to the floor. Hardy hits a baseball slide as we take a break.

Back with Roode hitting a belly to back suplex for one as Hardy makes the save. AJ gets his eyes raked and accidentally hits Hardy, giving us the showdown we’ve been waiting for. AJ hits his drop down into a dropkick sequence but Hardy takes over and gets two of his own. Roode comes back in and beats both guys down before focusing on Hardy. Spinebuster gets two.

AJ pops back up with the springboard forearm and backflip into the reverse DDT on Roode. Roode takes over again and hits a fisherman’s suplex on AJ which Hardy breaks up. Twist of Fate to Roode and he loads up the Swanton, but here’s Jarrett to crotch him. Roode covers Hardy for the easy pin at 14:30.

Rating: C. Pretty ok match here but at the end of the day, so what? This is more about pushing Jeff vs. Jeff again and that’s not exactly something interesting. Not a bad match at all but I’ve never been a fan of three ways, which isn’t helping things here. At least it sets up a match at Final Resolution, which we’ll get to now.

Sting comes out and makes Jeff vs. Jeff in a cage at the PPV. If Jarrett escapes first, Hardy is gone. If Hardy escapes first, he gets the title shot at Genesis. Karen comes out to yell so she’ll be handcuffed to Sting during the match.

Overall Rating: D+. The biggest problem with this show is that the pacing problems were back. There were five minutes of wrestling in the first hour and for what? So we could have segments about Gunner, Garrett Bischoff, and the Knockouts in swimsuits? That’s what we’re focusing on now? This was a backstage heavy show and that’s really not all that interesting. Also, you don’t need to have Roode’s family pop in all through the show if you’re going to show a full version of it later on. Not a bad show, but pretty boring overall.

Results
D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero b. Mexican America and Ink Inc – Spinebuster to Neal
Mickie James b. ODB – Spinning kick to the face
Robbie E b. Rob Van Dam – Pin after Angel’s Wings
Bobby Roode b. AJ Styles and Jeff Hardy – Pinned Hardy after Jeff Jarrett interfered

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Impact Wrestling
Date: November 28, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the Thanksgiving episode tonight and the main story is an eight man elimination tag with Team Roode vs. Team Angle. No word on who will actually be on each team, but it shouldn’t be that hard to figure out. We should also get some buildup for the remaining tournament matches. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Dixie to open things up. With the southern accent rolling she talks about how things have gotten so crazy around here lately that she needs some help. Therefore, here’s hew new Chief of Staff: Rockstar Spud. He’s from British Boot Camp and OVW in case that name means nothing to you. Spud immediately sucks up to Dixie and says Impact would be nothing without her. The roster is put on notice that he’s watching them and that Carter is the queen.

This brings us to the tournament matches. First up we’ve got Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Roode and the Wheel of Dixie has made that a tables match. Angle vs. Magnus on the other hand is a last man standing match. That’s all on that front as Dixie talks about the winners of the matches tonight getting a feast while the losers get nothing. You can see the food fight from here. Finally here’s Ethan Carter III to suck up to his aunt a bit before his match.

Ethan Carter III vs. Curry Man

The camera is lower than usual here. Curry Man is Christopher Daniels as the mascot of a Japanese curry company. He rants in Japanese a lot and is slammed down a lot as the bell rings. Carter slams the masked head into the mat a few times while telling him how rich he is. We hit a camel clutch and a YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chant breaks out.

A clothesline and a suplex get two for Carter but Curry Man comes back with some forearms and dodges a splash. The jobber comeback is short lived though as he goes to the top and gets punched in the jaw, allowing Carter to slam him down. The One Percenter is good for the pin on Curry Man at 3:37.

Rating: D. I like Carter and it’s a good idea to bring in some slightly bigger names for him to beat up. Curry Man is going to be a one off or two off character at most and there’s nothing wrong with that. Carter is actually nailing this character and that could mean good things for him down the line.

Carter does his catchphrase post match.

We look back at Gunner costing Storm the match last week by throwing in the towel.

Gunner is in the back and will be part of Team Angle tonight. Storm comes in and will be on the team too because whatever problems he has with Gunner can be dealt with on off hours. Gunner says he did what he thought was best last week but Storm doesn’t want to hear it. More on this later I’m sure.

The Bro Mans are with their new DJ Zema Ion when ODB and Eric Young come up. The tag champions aren’t interested in being in the Turkey Bowl tonight, but they’ll take the match upon hearing their opponents: Norv Fernum and Dewey Barnes.

Velvet Sky vs. Lei’D Tapa

Tapa sends her into the corner to start and runs her over, only to have Velvet avoid a charge and get in a few forearms. Gail trips her up though, only to be ejected from the arena. Tapa runs her over again and chokes a lot before kicking Velvet in the face to put her down again. The fireman’s carry into a Stunner ends Velvet at 3:35.

Rating: D. Total squash here which doesn’t really do much for the division right now. There just isn’t anything going on other than Gail, so why have the bodyguard destroy a former star of the division? My guess is they’re setting up Tapa as the big challenger for Gail, but does anyone want to see that?

Video on the Turkey Bowl, a match where the loser wears a turkey suit.

Dewey Barnes/Norv Fernum vs. Bro Mans

This is the Turkey Bowl match with Turkey Bowl bosses ODB and Eric Young at ringside. The Bro Mans now have DJ Zema Ion introducing them which is as good of a job for him as anything else. Robbie rants about how amazing the champions are as Zema does sound effects. The bell rings and the jobbers get rollups for two each, but a Hart Attack ends Barnes at 18 seconds.

Post match the losers are put in the turkey suits while Robbie makes turkey sounds and forces them to dance. The goons seem to enjoy it.

We get another video of AJ in Mexico, talking about what an honor it is to defend the title.

Dixie freaks out and gives AJ one week to give the title back or the legal options begin. What would wrestling be without a legal threat every week?

Roode with with his team: Chris Sabin and Bad Influence. Jokes are made but Roode wants them serious.

Spud hassles the caterer about the Thanksgiving feast tonight.

Angle and Magnus agree to team up tonight but beat each other up for a shot at the title next week.

We get a video on Anderson beating ray last week to end Aces and 8’s.

It’s time for a funeral for Aces and 8’s, held in a funeral home with some Main Event Mafia members, Mike Tenay (in orange subglasses) and Eric Young as the only people there. Joe eats cookies while Young cries. No one has anything to say but Anderson pops out of the casket. He says he was trapped in the team for a year, meaning he rode motorcycles a lot and was part of many many many many many many many many segments on the show. He also thanks Hulk (not named) for sending over a delicious deli plate.

Angle wishes D’Lo the best and throws a bobble head into the casket in his memory. Joe swallows whatever he’s eating and talks about the Aces hiding behind masks which they should have kept on. He has a six pack which symbolizes the only way to look at the bikers without masks on. Joe hands them out instead of throwing them in the casket (making sure not to give one to Kurt in a nice touch). “To the Aces and 8’s: may they ride their mopeds to the shores of Valhalla.”

Tenay talks about Tazz being at the broadcast table with him but buries Tazz’s cut and Brooke’s shorts. The shorts wind up in Tenay’s pocket of course. Eric is up next and buries one of the turkey suits, sending him into a fit of crying. Anderson goes last and thinks about putting in Ray’s hammer but says he’ll keep it since it’s a perfectly good hammer. Ray comes I and tells Anderson to sleep with one eye open in the best interest of his pregnant wife. Ray calls death the final awakening and leaves. Really fun segment here, though it was better in 2005 when they held one for Team 3D and really cranked up the jokes.

Video on Angle being part of One Direction Day, a charity event. Angle had a quick match against a masked man which can be seen on the One Direction Day website if you’re interested.

Spud yells about food some more.

Team Angle vs. Team Roode

Bobby Roode, Chris Sabin, Bad Influence

Kurt Angle, Magnus, James Storm, Gunner

Elimination rules. The captains get things going with both submissions quickly being escaped, giving us a standoff. Bad Influence comes in at the same time so Angle clotheslines them down, sending Daniels to the floor. Off to Magnus for some forearms before he cranks on the arm for a bit. Storm comes in to pound on the legal Daniels before bringing Gunner in for a clothesline/Russian legsweep combo for two. Gunner is sent out to the floor where Kaz and Sabin get in some cheap shots and the heels take over.

Back in and Sabin works over Gunner for a bit, only to quickly tag in Bad Influence. Gunner runs them over and slams Daniels down, allowing for the hot tag to Storm. The corner enziguri puts Daniels down and it’s a Backstabber for Christopher and a Closing Time to Sabin. Last Call drops Kaz but Sabin grabs a rollup to eliminate Storm.

Magnus comes in for the first time and clotheslines Sabin down before bringing in Daniels for some chops to the chest. Magnus charges into a boot in the corner though, allowing for the tag back to Kaz. Bad Influence double teams Magnus down for two but Magnus coms back with a quick slam. A double tag brings in Kaz and Gunner with the tattooed one catching Kaz in an Irish Curse backbreaker. There’s the Gun Rack but Daniels breaks it up. The High/Low is enough to get rid of Gunner and get us down to 4-2.

It’s Magnus in for the good guys but Daniels easily takes him down and works him over. Magnus fights up from his knees before hiptossing Daniels out to the floor. A clothesline off the apron takes Daniels down but Magnus hurts his knee. The medical staff comes out to check on him as we take a break. Back with Magnus gone, meaning it’s 4-1.

The heels hit a series of legdrops on Angle with Sabin getting a two count. Angle grabs a quick cradle but Daniels has the referee to prevent a count. Kurt fights up and takes out as many bad guys as he can with clotheslines before suplexing Roode and Sabin out of their shoes. In a very impressive power and stamina display, Angle hits ELEVEN Rolling Germans on everyone not named Sabin, including one to Bad Influence at the same time.

An Angle Slam puts Sabin down and there’s the ankle lock to Kaz. Daniels tries to break it up so there’s a double ankle lock to Daniels and Kaz at the same time. Roode brings in a chair but gets caught in an Angle Slam. Kurt blasts Roode with the chair for the DQ at 18:18.

Rating: C. This was more about the story than the match, but man alive did Angle look awesome out there. Those German suplexed were impressive and the one to Bad Influence looked awesome. The opening stuff was there to fill in time but that’s fine for something like this. Fun match.

Team Roode celebrates in the back with Roode saying Angle can’t beat him.

Storm wants to know why Gunner didn’t save him in the tag match. Gunner wants to know if they have plans as a team and walks off. Storm says no one dictates the futures of Storm and Gunner.

Video on the final four in the tournament.

The Carters aren’t thrilled with the idea of eating Spud’s feast so they’ll be heading to Texas for their Thanksgiving.

Here are all of the winners of the matches tonight plus Velvet who is with Sabin. Roode points this out and Sabin throws Velvet out. Bobby asks everyone what they’re thankful for. Bad Influence is thankful for their intelligence and large endowment. Kaz is thankful that Park isn’t here to drink the gravy or fornicate with the pumpkin pie. Gail is thankful for being the prettiest and most dominant Knockout in the history of the company. Oh and her family too.

Sabin is thankful for his hair, being the best X-Division Champion ever and Velvet Sky. The Bro Mans are thankful for Mr. O Phil Heath, Zema Ion (officially part of the team) and for being the best team ever. Bad Influence: “I’m not sure about that.” Roode says the real Thanksgiving was last month in Canada and the fans will be thankful when he becomes the next champion.

It’s time to eat but here’s Angle to interrupt. He sees a ring full of turkeys, which are fighting words for the people in there. Roode challenges him to a fight which Angle accepts, and here’s his backup. Fernum and Barnes are still in the turkey suits. You can fill in the blanks yourself here: bad guys are destroyed, food is everywhere, Spud panics, turkeys fly. The good guys, Velvet and ODB celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a go home show for next week’s regular Impact and there’s nothing wrong with that. No one was going to be watching tonight, so why waste anything important on this show? It’s a Thanksgiving special so why not just do some fun stuff and have a big comedy moment to end the show? We can get to the important stuff later on and that’s the right move all around.

Results

Ethan Carter III b. Curry Man – One Percenter

Lei’D Tapa b. Velvet Sky – Fireman’s carry into a Stunner

Bro Mans b. Dewey Barnes/Norv Fernum – Hart Attack to Barnes

Team Roode b. Team Angle, last eliminating Angle via DQ when Angle used a chair

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Continuing my miniseries on why TNA is the mess that it is.Think back with me to Destination X 2012 and Aries vs. Roode.  Why was that match special?  Among other reasons, there was one major reason: either guy could win.  So many times in wrestling and TNA in particular, the stories and winners to the matches are very predictable.  This has plagued TNA since about No Surrender 2012.  Let’s think for a minute.

At No Surrender, Jeff Hardy won the BFG Series.  Wasn’t it was pretty obvious that Hardy would win the title?

At Bound For Glory, D-Von was revealed as the first member of Aces and 8’s.  At that point, wasn’t it somewhat obvious that Ray was involved too?  They’ve been together for years and you can’t have one without the other.  Also at Bound For Glory, Hardy won the title to the surprise of very few.

On some episode of Impact, Ray started dating Brook Hogan.  At that point, wasn’t it clear that Ray was going to be the big bad and screw everyone over?

Once Ray won a tournament (which he wasn’t in) to get a title shot at Lockdown, wasn’t it obvious that he would win the title and be revealed as the Aces and 8’s boss?  Again, that’s what happened.

Once AJ Styles became Stinger Styles, wasn’t it obvious he would take the title from Ray and end the reign of terror which wasn’t so much terror as it was boring?  Again, that’s what happened.

The night of Bound For Glory, I said Magnus was going to be Dixie’s man.  Any guesses as to who Dixie’s man will eventually be?

You can see a problem here: TNA is REALLY bad at having their stories go exactly as people say they will.  If I know nearly every step a story is going to take, why would I want to watch it?  There are exceptions to this rule of course, but the majority of the time it doesn’t make for compelling television.

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 21, 2013
Location: Impact zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Usually I start each NXT review by saying Welcome Home but it’s more appropriate in this case. Tonight is the Turning Point special as we return to the Impact Zone in Orlando. The focus tonight is on the tournament with two tournament matches, but we also get Bully Ray vs. Anderson, with the future of aces and 8’s on the line. Let’s get to it.

We open with an Impact365 video of Roode attacking Storm at a bar last night.

We get an opening video recapping both the tournament matches as well as Anderson vs. Ray.

Dixie comes up to Joe in the back and says she’s been watching last week’s show and threatens to fire Joe if he ever takes the same tone that he did last week.

Here’s Dixie to open the show. She plugs an article about her in Sports Illustrated before talking about the disdain she feels for AJ Styles. He’s taken her intellectual property and misrepresented it around the world. There are lawyers around the world ready to shut him down but here’s James Storm for an interruption. Storm says he wants some revenge on Roode but doesn’t think the bullrope he has is going to do enough damage.

He wants to use chairs (Dixie: “No.”), tables (“No!”) and the old woman’s dentures if he can get them out of his mouth. Storm wants it to be a Florida death match but Dixie says the Wheel has spoken. James says that’s cool, because he can call the police and change his minds about filing charges and drop out of the tournament. Dixie still says no, so Storm asks all politely and gets what he wants.

TNA World Title Tournament First Round: Magnus vs. Samoa Joe

Falls count anywhere. Joe pops upon the screen and says he wants to start the fight in the back. Magnus heads backstage and we take a break. This is joined in progress in the back with Joe throwing Magnus through various objects. Apparently that was a replay and we cut back to the stage with Magnus getting two off an elbow drop. They head to ringside with Joe taking over via some right hands before taking Magnus down with a running boot to the face.

Magnus avoids the backsplash though and peppers Joe with forearms and uppercuts. Joe snaps off the powerslam for two but walks into the Michinoku Driver. Magnus loads up the top rope elbow but Joe stops him with a chop. A superplex is blocked and Magnus knees him in the chest to put Joe on the mat. Now the top rope elbow connects for two but Joe kicks away from the Kingsley Cloverleaf. The Rock Bottom out of the corner puts Magnus down on the floor and the suicide elbow takes Magnus out again for two.

The Brit sends Joe into the barricade and pulls out a chair which he wedges between the bottom and middle rope. Joe reverses a whip into the chair and hooks the Koquina Clutch but Magnus rams him back first into the apron. Magnus ducks a charging Samoan to send Joe head first into the chair for the pin at 7:11.

Rating: D+. There were some decent moments in this but for the most part the stipulation meant nothing at all. That ending could have happened just as easily in the ring and the backstage brawl part was nothing special. This would have been much better as a regular match or a No DQ match but it wasn’t horrible.

Here’s Bad Influence to watch the Joseph Park vs. Abyss match.

Joseph Park vs. Abyss

Park says he’s here to face his brother for the first time only, meaning that this is his turning point. Naturally there’s no Abyss, so Bad Influence says Park isn’t a good story of someone coming up from the bottom. He’s a jar of mayonnaise with a law degree and a cheap track suit.

The reason Park’s mom Bernice, his dad Alfredo and his great great grandfather Jurassic aren’t here tonight is because he’s such an embarrassment. Daniels asks if Park wants to fight but thinks we need blood first. Kazarian pours a bucket of red liquid over Park and Daniels asks where Abyss is. Daniels demands that a loser like Park get out of the ring right now and Park walks away very sad.

Gail Kim vs. Candice Larea

Candice is another newcomer and is a good looking blonde. Gail runs her over to start and gets two off a running dropkick in the corner. Larea comes back with a headscissors and a sunset flip before awkwardly running into the corner. Kim forearms her a lot and catches a hurricanrana in a sitout powerbomb for two. Eat Defeat is enough for the pin on Candice at 1:52.

AJ Styles video from his time in Japan.

Anderson promises that Aces and 8’s are done tonight.

Gunner gives Storm a pep talk before his match.

We recap Storm vs. Roode. They were partners for years until Roode turned heel on Storm to win the title. A long running feud and series of matches followed.

TNA World Title Tournament First Round: James Storm vs. Bobby Roode

Florida death match, meaning last man standing. Storm doesn’t want to wait and charge sup the ramp to pound on Bobby with a Singapore cane. Roode makes a quick comeback but gets sent into the steps to stop it cold. They head inside with Storm throwing in a garbage can fill of weapons. Storm hits the corner enziguri but his running neckbreaker is countered with a piece of steel to the head.

Storm comes back by driving the trash can between Roode’s legs and trying a middle rope sunset flip, only to have Roode roll through and kick him in the chest. A catapult into the corner is blocked though and Storm hits a trashcan to Roode’s head twice in a row. Roode is up at 9 but is immediately lifted into the Eye of the Storm which Roode counters into a spinebuster onto the trashcan.

They pound on each other with trashcan lids and both guys go down for a seven count. Roode has a crutch but walks into the Last Call and rolls to the floor. He finds a beer bottle on the floor and smashes Storm in the head but James gets up at nine. Roode clotheslines him down again and hits an Attitude Adjustment through two chairs but Storm is up at nine. Bobby is ticked so he goes under the ring and finds a barbed wire board, which I guess is there just in case a Florida death match broke out. Roode loads up another AA but Gunner comes out to throw in the towel and end the match at 12:00.

Rating: C+. The match was better than a bullrope match would have been but the ending was much more about setting up a future program than the match itself. On top of that, Storm loses in ANOTHER big match which does nothing to help his reputation as a choker. Still though, fun brawl.

Post break Gunner pleads his case but Storm is still furious.

Here are the updated brackets:

Hardy

Roode

Angle

Magnus

Your time wasting segment of the week is a look at Samuel Shaw’s apartment and his artwork. The segment finishes filming and Shaw asks Christy out. She says yes and gives her his number before leaving. Shaw makes sure to straighten the notepad and pens she moved. Apparently he’s OCD.

Ethan Carter III has brought his personal jobbers here again but isn’t facing them again because there’s no challenge. Instead he’s facing a TNA legend.

Ray talks about taking care of Anderson tonight. TNA turned their backs on Anderson a year ago, but after Ray ends his career, he’ll make sure to take care of Anderson’s pregnant wife.

Angle is cutting a promo on Magnus when Dixie Carter summons him to her office.

Ethan Carter III vs. Shark Boy

Shark Boy had announced he was coming back tonight on Impact365 earlier this week. Carter bails to the floor for a chase but still avoids an elbow as they get back inside. The Chummer is countered with ease and the One Percenter is good for the pin at 2:06.

We recap Anderson vs. Ray which stemmed from Ray using the club as a way to get himself over and Anderson not being cool with it. Anderson cost Ray a match against Sting and the Bound For Glory rematch against AJ Styles.

Dixie tells Roode and Angle that they’er going to captain teams in an eight man elimination tag match next week.

Mr. Anderson vs. Bully Ray

No DQ and it’s career vs. Aces and 8’s. Anderson is in long tights for the first time I can ever remember. The roster comes out to watch the match from the stage. Anderson jumps Ray during big match intros and hits him low while shouting his name a lot. They head to the floor with Ray ramming him into the steps but stopping to breathe a bit. Ray pulls out a table and we take our last break. Back with Anderson being suplexed into the ring and chopped loudly in the corner. There’s a table set up in the corner as well.

Ray takes off the chain to whip Anderson even more but Anderson takes the chain away and gets in a few whips of his own. Anderson loads up a big chained fist but gets sent to the floor instead. Ray pulls back the mats but Anderson backdrops Ray onto the concrete instead.

Knux saves Ray from being piledriven on the concrete but gets piledriven down onto the mats for his efforts. Back inside and Anderson hits the rolling senton but Ray fights out of the Mic Check. A spear puts Anderson through the table in the corner but it’s only good for two. Tazz hands Brooke the hammer but Anderson intercepts it and blasts Ray in the head. The Mic Check ends Aces and 8’s at 13:00.

Rating: C+. Not a bad brawl here but Aces and 8’s hasn’t meant anything in months so this isn’t the biggest deal in the world. I’m glad they’re gone for good and it’s a good feather in the cap for Anderson, but this is hardly some huge moment that changes wrestling forever. Fun match though.

Anderson gets Ray and Tazz’s cuts to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Most of the matches were good but this didn’t feel like anything major at all. The ending was so far overdue that it doesn’t even feel like a big deal anymore, but at least it finally happened. As for everything else…..nothing significant really happened. Two first round tournament matches don’t feel like anything major to me but at least the wrestling was good for the most part. Not a horrible or even bad show, but it’s nothing you need to see at all.

Results

Magnus b. Samoa Joe – Joe rammed his head into a chair

Gail Kim b. Candice Larea – Eat Defeat

Bobby Roode b. James Storm – Gunner threw in the towel

Ethan Carter III b. Shark Boy – One Percenter

Mr. Anderson b. Bully Ray – Mic Check

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It’s off their website but still not bad.http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/more/news/20131121/dixie-carter-tna-wrestling/

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 14, 2013
Location: Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the final show on the road before they head back to Orlando which seems to be the best idea they could have at the moment. We’re also a week away from the next Clash of the Champions style show called Turning Point which will likely be a lot of tournament matches and a few other things thrown in on the side. Tonight’s main event is Angle vs. Aries in a submission match which isn’t the most interesting match in the world. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Dixie announcing the tournament and Hardy vs. Sabin in the first match last week.

Here are Aces and 8’s to open the show with Brooke shaking her hips and Ray laughing at Tenay for falling for the ruse last week. Ray asks if the fans know who he is and says this club is about quality. He doesn’t need to be world champion to be the most talked about guy in TNA because everyone knows he’s the be all and end all. Ray accepts the challenge for a match with Anderson at Turning Point but promises to piledrive him through the stage next week.

This brings out Anderson who says that everyone here in Cincinnati is sick and tired of the Aces and 8’s. Therefore, how about if he beats Ray next week, Aces and 8’s are done in TNA, never to ride again? Ray doesn’t see the appeal so he turns it down, so Anderson sweetens the pot: if he loses, he’s gone for good. That’s cool with him too, because his wife is pregnant with twins.

Ray is all cool with that but thinks Anderson is crazy for agreeing to this match. Anderson says that’s right and goes after Ray, only to be beaten down by Knux and Bischoff. Ray gets a chair but Anderson kicks him away and cleans house. Anderson says he’s feeling frisky and wants one of the bikers right now. It looks like it’ll be Knux after the break.

Mr. Anderson vs. Knux

Anderson, in street clothes, pounds away in the corner to start and scores with some right hands. Knux comes back with a cross body for two and they head outside. Anderson is whipped into the steps and apron before Knux suplexes him back inside. Anderson can’t slam him down and gets splashed in the corner. A side slam gets two for Knux but after more slow pounding, Anderson grabs the Mic Check out of nowhere for the pin at 4:50.

Rating: D+. Just a basic warmup match before next week and there’s nothing wrong with that. The match showed how basic Knux is though and that’s the problem with Aces and 8’s. Other than Bully, there hasn’t been anyone not named Anderson worth anything at all. The team has needed to go away for months now and hopefully that happens next week.

We get an Impact365 video from Joseph Park, challenging Daniels to a singles match tonight.

Daniels accepts the challenge in another video where he talks about the medical benefits of appletinis with Kazarian. Daniels runs into Roode walking down the hall and t-shirts are schilled.

Video on Aries vs. Angle for later tonight, focusing on Aries’ submission skills.

Christopher Daniels vs. Joseph Park

Park scores with a quick hiptoss and a right hand to put Daniels down. He doesn’t fall for a Daniels’ handshake and pulls him into a clothesline before Christopher scores with some right hands and a half nelson rollup for two. Park misses an Earthquake splash and Daniels hooks a chinlock. Joseph fights up with a Samoan drop and a side slam for two more. Daniels rolls away before Park can try a middle rope splash but a running splash in the corner connects instead. The referee yells so Daniels kicks Park low for the pin at 5:24.

Rating: D. Well, this happened. There really isn’t much else to say about it either and that’s not a good sign. It’s also very indicative of a major TNA problem: so much of their stuff feels like filler, but we never get to the shows that we’re supposed to be filling time until. In theory it’s Turning Point or Genesis, but Turning Point is mainly tournament matches which is just filler until we get to the winner of the tournament vs. AJ. That’s not good when it feels like everything is just filler until BFG time. In case you couldn’t tell, there wasn’t much to this match.

Ray promises to beat Anderson next week.

Norv Fernum/Dewey Barnes vs. Ethan Carter III

Carter is now 7-0 after winning on some house shows this weekend. The jobbers work on the arm to start until Carter takes Barnes’ head off with a clothesline out of the corner. A snap suplex sets up a belly to back suplex on Dewey before the tag is off to Fernum for some top rope dropkicks. Norv gets two off a tornado DDT but Carter hits 1 Percenters on both guys for the double pin at 3:29.

Rating: D+. Carter is still working for me as a character but they need to do more for him soon before he gets boring. I still think he winds up in the title scene sooner rather than later and shockingly enough, that doesn’t sound too bad. He’s definitely playing the character well but he needs a few decent wins for credibility.

We see another AJ in Mexico video, with Styles saying he’s an awesome wrestler.

Dixie freaks out on the production team for letting that video air.

Jeff Hardy talks about his injuries in the match last week but saying it’s just step one to winning the title.

Here’s Dixie to proclaim how great she is. Sometimes it feels great to say how amazing you are, such as when she kicked AJ off the show and raised the quality of the show. It also proves her point that no one is irreplaceable. AJ left in her car with her title but in a few weeks we’ll have a new champion to replace Styles. Dixie talks about the tournament being all gimmicky and calls out the four people in the matches next week: Bobby Roode, James Storm, Magnus and Samoa Joe.

She spun the Wheel of Dixie earlier and it’s Roode vs. Storm in a bullrope match, with Dixie picking Roode to win. Dixie talks about Storm not doing anything for her lately, so Storm talks about being a cowboy and says his catchphrase. On the other hand, Joe vs. Magnus is going to be falls count anywhere. Joe says the only reason this tournament is going on is to cover for her inability to sign AJ to a new deal. Once he runs through the tournament, AJ gets the first title shot whether it’s here or anywhere else in the world. Magnus cuts Joe off and says he’ll win, but Dixie says this is all about finding her one true champion. Nice segment.

Anderson beats up Bischoff in the back and handcuffs him to a metal cart.

Video on Angle’s submission skills.

Gail Kim vs. Hannah Blossom

This is the Gail Kim open challenge to anyone from outside of the company. If Hannah wins, she gets a title shot down the line. Gail kicks her in the head to start and rams Hannah into a buckle. More kicks put Blossom down and there’s the Figure Four around the post for good measure. Hannah makes the jobber comeback but misses a charge and Eats Defeat for the pin at 3:28.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as usual with Kim. She’s decent in the ring but I just do not care about her at all and haven’t in years. It’s another case of something we’ve seen so many times that there’s no reason to get interested in it at all. At least we’re getting some fresh Knockouts for the time being though.

Joseph Park comes out again and talks about how he doesn’t know where Abyss is. All he knows is that Abyss is a future TNA Hall of Famer and issues an open challenge to Abyss for next week. That should be interesting.

Anderson carries Bischoff away on his shoulders.

TNA World Title Tournament First Round: Kurt Angle vs. Austin Aries

Submission match. Feeling out process to start with Angle taking it to the mat and putting on a headscissors. Aries rolls out of the ankle lock but Kurt bails to the floor to avoid the Last Chancery. Back in and Aries grabs a quick STF but Angle is in the ropes even faster. Angle comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but Roode comes out with a chair to watch from the stage. Kurt gets distracted, allowing Aries to dive off the top, only to be caught in a belly to belly. Aries dropkicks him to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Aries in control and going after the neck, only to wake Angle up in the process. Angle rolls some Germans but Aries armdrags Angle out to the floor. A big top rope ax handle to the floor puts Kurt down again but Aries hurts his ankle in the process. Aries comes back in with a missile dropkick but Angle grabs the ankle lock in midair to take over.

Aries counters by rolling Angle into the corner but Angle catches the running dropkick in another ankle lock. Austin rolls through again to send Angle outside but it’s quickly back inside so Aries can hit the missile dropkick. The corner dropkick sets up the brainbuster and the Last Chancery but of course Angle doesn’t tap.

Aries lets go of the hold and Angle snaps off another suplex, only to have Aries get up top. He throws Angle off to block a running suplex but Aries’ 450 only hits mat and hurts the ankle again. The Angle Slam is countered twice but Aries misses a charge into the post and Angle Crossfaces him for the win at 16:45.

Rating: B-. I liked the match but it felt like it was just waiting until we got to the inevitable. That’s a major problem for so much of TNA’s stuff anymore as you can call most of what they’re going to do anymore. Aries was trying but it was a lot of the same stuff we always see from him. Still way better than anything else tonight though.

Anderson drags Bischoff out to piledrive him on the stage to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The show wasn’t bad tonight but it’s clear that they’ve only got two stories at the moment. Luckily for them the stories aren’t bad, but that’s going to catch up to them in the long run, as it always does. The matches were rather bad for the most part though with mainly a night of squashes to set up the big show next week. The main event helped but Angle winning was somewhat obvious. Again, the show has no soul though and it’s showing more and more every week.

Results

Mr. Anderson b. Knux – Mic Check

Christopher Daniels b. Joseph Park – Low blow

Ethan Carter III b. Norv Fernum/Dewey Barnes – Double pin after 1 Perfecters to both men

Gail Kim b. Hannah Blossom – Eat Defeat

Kurt Angle b. Austin Aries – Crossface

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Impact Wrestling
Date: November 8, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz, Todd Keneley, Jeremy Borash

Last week’s big moment was the unmasking of Luke Gallows who doesn’t actually have a name at this point. Other than that we had Gut Check and the announcement of a three way for the #1 contendership. Odds are tonight is mostly about Aces and 8’s, but that’s pretty much all you can expect to get on Impact anymore. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the announcement of the triple threat. The guy who takes the fall can’t get a title shot until BFG next year, which is a nice idea actually. We also hear about Aries vs. Hardy being a ladder match. Aries: “IT WAS JUST A METAPHOR JEFF!” Those things are just about the world title match though, so now let’s focus on the important thing: ACES AND 8’s! And that guy who we don’t have a name for yet but is more famous as Luke Gallows!

Aces and 8’s are yelling at Gallows, who is now named Doc (Director of Chaos), because he lost his mask before he was even made a full fledged member of the team. Tonight it’s Doc/D-Von vs. Angle/Sting. This sums up the major problem with the reveals so far: how in the world am I supposed to buy D-Von and Luke Gallows as a legitimate threat to beat Sting and Angle, two of the best of all time?

AJ Styles vs. Bobby Roode

Storm is on commentary. They fight for control of a wristlock to start before heading to the mat. Roode appears to have gotten a haircut. He blocks AJ’s drop down/kick sequence but AJ sends him to the floor with ease. Styles sends him into the steps and drops a knee back inside as Storm says he would pin Roode if he had to pick. There are ads on the mat now too, which is fine as it brings in some extra cash.

A big backdrop puts Roode down but Bobby gets in a shot to the back to take over. We take a break and come back with Roode hot shotting AJ on the top rope. A Blockbuster gets two for Roode as does an elbow drop. Storm says he’d work with Roode to beat AJ if necessary. I can see the “BEER MONEY REUNION???” posts already. Roode hooks a chinlock for a bit but AJ fights up and hits an enziguri to put both guys down.

We head to the corner with AJ pounding away but getting guillotined on the top rope to slow him down. The disadvantage lasts about eight seconds as AJ comes back with a top rope rana for two. The Clash is escaped and there’s the spinebuster from Roode for no cover. The spear misses though and AJ rolls him up into a Styles Clash position, but Roode kicks him in the head to escape. Pele misses and the fisherman’s suplex gets two for Bobby. Really good sequence there.

Bobby goes to the floor for a chair but Storm comes down to take it away from him. Styles hits a BIG springboard dive to take Roode out but stops to yell at Storm. Back in, AJ loads up another springboard but Roode knocks him off the ropes and gets a fast pin at 10:50 shown of 14:20.

Rating: B. Solid match here and for a TV match, this was great stuff. AJ and Roode have good chemistry together and when you can beat AJ Styles clean on TV, you’ve got something going for you. As for the PPV, you have to think Roode wins, but PLEASE don’t let Storm get pinned. There’s no reason to keep him out of the title scene for ANOTHER year as he never got a real run with the belt anyway which he’s more than capable of doing.

Aries runs into Hogan in the back. Aries complains about the ladder stipulation so Hulk says that if Aries doesn’t give the belt back by the end of the show, Aries loses his title shot.

We run down the remaining card for the show when the feed starts messing up. The screen says “An Ancient Evil Awakes”. Abyss maybe?

Angle is talking to Wes Brisco about timing when Sting comes up. Sting wants Brisco watching their back in the main event tonight. Are we really supposed to not get that Brisco is a member of the team? It’s obviously him given the hair, but are we supposed to not notice it?

Joseph Park is in the ring and after asking if it’s ok for him to talk, he says his body isn’t meant to go through tables and he loved the feeling of taking off Doc’s mask. His legal partners don’t want him to have a match with Aces and 8’s but he has to be a man. First though we have to make the pilgrimage to Mt. Hogan to beg for the match though, because if Hogan’s ego doesn’t get stroked every other segment, that’s just not cool brother.

Here’s Hogan who says that Park is a great guy but he got lucky last week instead of being good. Before Hogan can say no though, here’s Ray with an interruption. Ray says Park isn’t a fighter but he has a lot of guts and a lot to prove. The Bully believes in Joseph Park and so do the fans. Bully to Hulk: “Why say no when it feels so good to say yes?” It’s that mentality that led to the sex tape issue brother. Hogan says just this one time and shakes Park’s hand.

Tara hits on Jesse, who says that he used shooting star presses and a super double tiger driver last week. ODB comes in to yell at the two of them and wants a handicap match next. Jesse: “We’re going to need A LOT of hand sanitizer.”

AJ rants about Storm when the Cowboy comes in.

ODB vs. Tara/Jesse Godderz

Tara and Jesse actually skip down to the floor. They don’t have to tag here so ODB beats up both of them at once. Jesse gets rammed into ODB’s cleavage and there’s a double noggin knocker. A double elbow puts ODB down before Tara raves over the bicep a bit. ODB slams them both down and avoids a charging Jesse. Tara gets sent into his crotch and it’s a double bronco buster. ODB spears Tara down for the pin at 2:40. I smell a tag match Sunday.

ODB gets beaten down with a flask shot post match. Jesse pours the contents on her body.

Post break, ODB is on the phone with Eric’s voicemail and says the tag match is on.

Apparently on Thanksgiving, all of the Gut Check winners will be there. Oh joy.

The Gut Check judges have a chat. Taz thinks it’s a no brainer but doesn’t say which side he’s on. This goes on for awhile and Snow’s jacket gets made fun of.

Sting/Kurt Angle vs. Doc/D-Von

Before you ask, no I don’t be calling him DOC in all caps. Seriously, it makes zero difference so spare me the arguments that I’m saying it wrong. Tenay and Taz take over on commentary. The brawl starts on the floor with Angle destroying D-Von and Sting doing the same to Doc. Sting and Doc start in the corner and Sting hits a quick DDT for two. A D-Von distraction lets Doc hit a clothesline to take over as things get down to normal.

Off to D-Von who drops an elbow for two before bringing Doc back in. A suplex gets two and it’s off to the chinlock. That goes nowhere so D-Von drops a leg for two. Angle gets punched in the face to break up a tag and D-Von pounds Sting down in the corner. A Doc splash gets two as Angle makes the save. Back to D-Von for the spinning elbow for two as Aces and 8’s are using REALLY basic stuff so far.

Doc and Sting clothesline each other down and there’s the hot tag to Angle. House is cleaned and it’s a German for Doc and the Slam for D-Von. Everything breaks down but as Sting puts Doc in the Deathlock, D-Von hits Sting and Angle with the ball bat for the DQ at 5:41.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as the match existed to get to the end. Like I said earlier, it’s really hard to buy these guys as threats to a team like Sting and Kurt Angle. The match wasn’t horrible or anything it was was absolutely nothing to get excited or interested about at all. If nothing else, Doc has a good look to him with the size and bald head.

Post match here’s Bully for the save and he loads up a table. D-Von runs as soon as he sees it so Sting comes back to beat up Doc. More members come in with a hammer to save Doc and Sting gets put through the table. Angle gets knocked to the floor and Doc “hits” Sting with the hammer, clearly missing his hand by a good space. Joe, Chavo and Hernandez make the save. You know, because you should be afraid when you have the high ground AND A HAMMER. Sting gets taken out by medics.

This has nothing to do with what just happened, but apparently that Ancient Evil Awakes is a Halo 4 ad. Silly me for thinking an ad during a wrestling show was about wrestling.

Time for Gut Check, because that transition is fine. Taz says yes without a doubt and Prichard says yes as well, giving York the contract. I can’t argue with that one.

Aries is in the back on the phone when he sees Brooke and Ray arguing over something. They see him coming and stop immediately because they don’t want him to hear. We’ve got intrigue!

We recap Hardy vs. Aries.

We run down the Turning Point card. Unless I’m missing it, does Ray not have a match?

Hogan is on the phone asking for updates on Sting when he runs into Joey Ryan. Ryan says Hulk can congratulate him on winning the X Title which he hasn’t gotten a shot at yet. Hogan tells Morgan that Matt isn’t allowed at ringside on Sunday. Morgan says Hulk has no idea who he’s messing with but he’ll find out. I still want Morgan as the Aces and 8’s boss. Morgan and Ryan leave and Hogan says he does know.

Samoa Joe/Chavo Guerrero Jr./Hernandez vs. Christopher Daniels/Kazarian/Magnus

It’s a big brawl to start with Chavo vs. Daniels finally getting things going. Daniels gets beaten around like a pinball before Chavo suplexes him down for two. Daiels hits a knee and tags Kaz but the beating continues very quickly. SuperMex comes in with a splash for two and it’s time for Magnus vs. Joe. The British guy who used to be a gladiator for some reason runs to the floor and upon reentry, the heels gets in a shot to Joe’s back to take over.

Everything breaks down again until it’s Joe hammering away on Daniels in the corner. Daniels drops a knee and brings in Chavo with a slingshot hilo for two. Hernandez hooks a bearhug into an overhead belly to belly before it’s back to Chavo who gets two off a dropkick. Some double teaming FINALLY slows Chavo down and the beatdown begins. A running jumping swinging neckbreaker gets two for Kaz and it’s off to Magnus again.

Daniels acts like he’s riding a horse for some reason before it’s off to Kaz for a bow and arrow hold. Chavo fights up and hooks a headscissors to take Kaz down and make the tag off to Hernandez. House is cleaned and Daniels gets launched with a shoulder block. The Border Toss is broken up but Daniels/Kaz’s double suplex is countered into a suplex on both of them by Hernandez. Off to Joe vs. Magnus with the Samoan taking over. Magnus charges into the Rock Bottom out of the corner.

The two of them head to the floor as does Daniels, so here’s a big dive by Hernandez to take them out. Chavo loads up the Frog Splash on Magnus but Kaz breaks it up. Joe loads up the MuscleBuster on Magnus but Daniels makes the save. There’s the Clutch on Daniels but it’s broken up by a jawbreaker. Daniels and Kaz go High/Low on Joe and a top rope elbow from Magnus gets the pin at 11:00.

Rating: B-. Solid six man tag here with the exactly right ending. This gives you a reason to believe Magnus can in fact win the title from Joe which wasn’t really something that was easy to buy into earlier. That’s basic booking and that’s all you need to do most of the time, yet most companies don’t get it.

Roode says his plan is coming together with AJ fighting Storm.

We recap the attack on Sting.

Here’s Aries to return the belt. There’s a ladder at ringside and another one in the ring. Aries says that Hardy says he’s the best wrestler on the planet. Well Aries is the best wrestler in the universe. Either this universe, or any universe. They’re going hard with the WWE jabs lately. Austin talks about how Hardy has lived and died by the ladder match. Hardy has fallen a lot, but on Sunday the fall is going to be worse than any he’s ever had. The fans keep chanting WHAT so Aries goes off on them a bit.

Aries says he’s going to use Hardy’s belt as a belt buckle, meaning Hardy’s face will be down by his crotch (his words, not mine). If Hardy wants this belt back, come and get it. Here’s Hardy who knocks Aries to the floor and takes the title before climbing up the ladder. He hangs both belts and poses but Aries shoves him off the ladder and stomps him down to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Good show overall here and pretty good hype for the PPV, but again, we’ve got a lawyer fighting a career enforcer and Kurt Angle vs. D-Von which we’re supposed to pay for. They need to reveal someone big soon or the interest they’ve got left in this story is going to die soon. That’s a problem because it’s ALL OVER the TV shows. The other stuff with the world title related matches is really good though and I’m looking forward to the show. Still though, where is Bully Ray?

Results

Bobby Roode b. AJ Styles – Pin after knocking Styles off the top rope

ODB b. Tara/Jesse Godderz – Spear to Tara

Sting/Kurt Angle b. D-Von/Doc via DQ when D-Von hit Angle with a baseball bat

Magnus/Kazarian/Christopher Daniels b. Samoa Joe/Chavo Guerrero Jr./Hernandez – Top Rope Elbow To Joe

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: November 7, 2013
Location: Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

It’s a big show this week for TNA as this is the start of their world title tournament, perhaps the final Impact outside of Orlando for a good while and it’s the 500^th episode. However, what has TNA been focused on with their new Impact 365 dead? The fact that Pacman Jones is back in TNA for a show or two.

For those of you that aren’t familiar with him, he’s the guy that was suspended from the NFL for a year and thought he’d make a quick buck “wrestling” (read as standing on the apron and making a cover here or there) in the mean time. Now he’s famous for being a decent football player that hasn’t gotten arrested in a few years. He’s been the focus for TNA in their internet videos late. Let’s get to it.

We open with Dixie in the back with Pacman when Mr. Anderson comes up. He doesn’t want any trouble but just a match with Bully. Dixie says she can make that happen.

We get a recap of AJ leaving and the announcement of the world title tournament via a voiceover similar to a movie trailer.

Pacman Jones and another Cincinnati Bengal are in the front row.

Here’s the Main Event Mafia, which is actually still a thing. Sting says the Mafia has accomplished its goals of keeping Aces and 8’s at bay and taking the world title away from Bully Ray. Today he can say mission accomplished, even though there has been a lot of trials and tribulation along the way. As of today, the Mafia is being put back up on the shelf. All of them have something they’re doing at the moment, such as Sting coming up short in the gauntlet match and the other three all being in the world title tournament.

Sting is going to be dealing with this thing called entitlement. He’s going to be dealing with those people that are trying to come in on top without ever having to pay any dues. Sting has respect for this business and hugs all three members of the team. He says he loves Joe and Angle but only hugs Magnus before walking away. Joe takes the mic and says he’s been denied a world title for far too long. The road to the title starts with Magnus and it’s going to go through Angle. They’re all friends, but Joe is going to remind them why they make far better enemies.

Magnus says that Angle is on a road to redemption but it’s also Magnus’ road to destiny. He loves Angle like a brother, but after he goes through Joe, he’ll mow Angle down if he has to. His goal is to become world champion but the fans don’t seem to have the same vision that Magnus has.

Angle is left alone in the ring and says Sting is right. They all have their own goals and his is to become world champion once again. He also wants to prove he’s Hall of Fame worthy, but last week he suffered a setback. Last week he was told he wasn’t cleared to compete, but since then he’s talked to his personal doctor….but here’s Roode with an interruption.

Roode says he’s embarrassed for Kurt because he keeps having to make excuses. Angle needs to be a man and admit that he’s lost twice in a row to the It Factor. Roode’s goal is the world title as well, and if he has to face Angle in the finals, he has no problem destroying him for a third time. Angle is cool with that but doesn’t want to wait for the finals so the fight is on now.

Angle is still in the ring after the break and says he’ll wait in the ring until he gets Bobby Roode even if it’s until next week. Roode comes right back out at him but security tries to break it up. The guys are finally split up after a few moments but Angle sprints up the ramp to get another piece. Joe, Magnus and Bad Influence come out to try to split them up and both guys are finally taken to the back.

The opening segment somehow keeps going with Bad Influence getting in the Bengals’ faces, only to have them come into the ring and slam Kaz and Daniels down.

Garrett and Knux say the condition of the club is none of the people’s business. Anderson comes up behind them and says that he just wants to talk. He says what they did to him was the best thing they’ve ever done to him. They need to get out of the club though because this isn’t what they started.

Velvet Sky vs. ODB vs. Brooke

Winner gets a title shot at some point in the future. Brooke and Velvet shake it a bit to start so ODB chests them down. A double Bronco Buster has Brooke and Sky in trouble but Brooke rolls ODB up for two. ODB gets knocked to the floor so Velvet can get a neckbreaker for two on Brooke. Velvet gets powerslammed down but Brooke takes her down and drops a top rope elbow to ODB. Everyone is down so here are Gail and Lei’D Tapa to watch as we take a break.

Back with a three way slugout with ODB taking over. Both girls put a half crab on Brooke at the same time. The alliance doesn’t last long as Velvet starts chopping away at ODB, only to be ran over again. ODB slams Brooke onto Velvet but goes to the floor to yell at Tapa and Kim. Brooke hits a dropkick through the ropes before clotheslining Velvet down. Everyone is back inside now and Brooke hits a cross body to take out both girls at once. Gail and Tapa get up on the apron and Gail comes in to break up In Yo Face to Brooke for a DQ at 9:45.

Rating: C-. Not the worst match in the world but the ending sucked. Since when are there DQ’s in a triple threat match? Velvet and ODB were their usual selves but Brooke looked a bit better than her typical performance here. The downside here is how obvious it was that the division is dying for some fresh blood though.

Post match Gail and Tapa destroy everyone (save for some forearms from ODB that staggered Tapa). Gail says it’s clear she has no competition so she’s issuing an open challenge to anyone from outside the company and if anyone beats her, they can have a title shot.

We get a video from AJ Styles of a title defense in AAA in Mexico.

Bully goes up to Knux and Garrett in the back and says he’s tired of being ignored. Knux goes on a rant about how this isn’t their club anymore but all about Bully. Ray says it’s because he’s president but Knux demands a vote tonight from all three of them and Taz. Knux storms off but Ray grabs Garrett and glares at him.

Dixie is on the phone, yelling at someone to fix the person who is humiliating her (presumably AJ). She hangs up when Ethan Carter III comes in. Dixie says he’s done a great job but they need to change their plan a bit. Tonight he gets to pick his opponent which he thinks will mean the end of the streak. Dixie says keep the intensity up.

It’s time for the Aces and 8’s vote. Ray comes out last and says his catchphrase but Garrett cuts him off by saying yes, they do know who he is. Before the vote can be taken, Anderson comes out to watch. Garrett votes that he’s finished and takes off his cut. Ray appeals to Knux but Knux says he doesn’t need Ray or the club. He takes off the cut as well, leaving just Tazz and Ray in the club.

Ray assumes that Tazz is going to vote with him, which Ray says we’re going to a tie, which goes to a president. Ray sucks up to Taz a bit before saying Tazz knows how to do what his president tells him to do. Tazz takes the mic and tells Ray to hit the brakes a little bit. They’ve been friends for a long time but have always done the right thing. The club has been about Bully’s agenda alone for way too long, so Tazz is done too. Ray says put those colors back on but Tazz says make him.

Ray yells at Anderson for ruining everything so Anderson throws out a challenge for a No DQ fight at Turning Point. Bully talks about Anderson looking up to Steve Austin, but Anderson has forgotten the first rule. Garrett and Knux jump Anderson so Ray can whip him with the chain while shouting DON’T TRUST ANYBODY. Ray says the Aces catchphrase and the team is still together. Yes, SERIOUSLY.

Back from a break with Bobby Roode coming up to the announce desk and promising to take Angle out tonight.

Ethan Carter III vs. Dewey Barnes

This is another rematch for Carter. Ethan runs him over to start and slams him face first into the mat out of a belly to back suplex. There’s a kick to the ribs but Dewey comes back with a dropkick in the corner and a neckbreaker but his missile dropkick misses. The Bulldog Driver (the 1 Percenter) ends Barnes at 2:25.

Joseph Park is eating candy corn in the back when Bad Influence shows up. Park says they’re bullying him while they suggest he’s Abyss. Richie Incognito and Jonathan Martin (NFL players currently involved in a bullying scandal) references are made until Eric Young comes in to make science jokes and set up a tag team match.

Bad Influence vs. Eric Young/Joseph Park

Eric gets double teamed to start but sends Bad Influence into each other. Park comes in for some work on the arm but it’s back to Young for an Ultimo Dragon headstand in the corner. Kaz is sent to the floor for a suicide dive from Eric and a cross body back inside gets two. Young is sent to the corner for a Flair Flip plus some strutting on the apron, only to have Kaz knock him out to the floor. Back inside and Bad Influence lays him out with Daniels getting two off a clothesline to the back of the head.

A Kaz distraction prevents the referee from seeing the hot tag to Park but Young ducks a clothesline, sending Bad Influence into each other again. Now the hot tag brings in Park and there’s a Boston Crab on Kaz. Daniels makes the save but everything breaks down. Daniels whips Young knees first into the steps before picking up the bell ringer’s hammer. That goes nowhere so he picks up the Appletini to blind Park, allowing Kaz to crucifix him for the pin at 4:38.

Rating: D. Just a match here for the most part with nothing significant happening at all. We’ve seen these teams fight several times now and nothing has really been accomplished as a result. The only interesting thing here is the difference in comedy. Young and Park have hammered their jokes so far into the ground that they haven’t been funny for months. Bad Influence on the other hand at least keeps their comedy moving, which keeps them feeling much fresher. It’s a nice breather.

Post break here’s Angle again, saying he’ll be out here if Roode wants a piece. Instead he gets Austin Aries who says he respects everything Angle has done, but if Angle doesn’t bring his best, he has no chance. Dixie pops up on screen and spins the Wheel of Dixie to make it a submission match next week. Aries says good luck and walks away but Roode comes in from behind to jump Angle and beat him down against the steps. Aries makes the save so Angle will be at 100% next week. That’s nice of him. Angle throws Aries to the side to get at Roode but so Aries goes after Kurt until security breaks it up.

TNA World Title Tournament First Round: Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Sabin

This is Full Metal Mayhem, which is TNA’s version of TLC but you win by pin or submission. Sabin is sent into a chair in the corner to knock him to the floor, allowing Hardy to hit a clothesline off the apron to take Chris down again. Sabin comes back with a ladder to the ribs as we head back inside for a rolling cutter onto the ladder for two on Hardy. Jeff comes back with a backdrop to send Sabin onto the ladder in the corner and blasts Sabin with a garbage can.

Jeff sets up a table in the corner but Sabin hurricanranas out of whatever Hardy was setting up. Hardy gets crotched on the top and is caught in the Tree of Woe so Sabin can rip at his EARS. That’s just painful looking. A baseball slide dropkick sends a chair into Hardy’s face and Sabin stands on his groin in the corner. Hardy is able to blast Sabin in the back with a chair despite hanging upside down in a nice counter.

Poetry in Motion connects in the corner and a clothesline sends Sabin out to the floor. Hardy lays him on a table and goes up top but misses a dive, crashing through the table as a result. Back in and Sabin puts Hardy on a table but his splash hits knees. It still drives Jeff through the table though so I’m not sure how much good it did him. Jeff scores with a quick Twist of Fate and sets up the ladder for a Swanton off the top to send him to the next round at 10:45.

Rating: B-. This was exactly what it was supposed to be. It wasn’t anything that set the bar any higher, but it was what they advertised it as: complete mayhem with both guys destroying each other and a huge spot to end it. I fear for Jeff’s ability to move when he’s 54 years old, but the entertainment is good while it lasts.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a much better show than what TNA has been throwing at us lately but it was far from perfect. I really liked the Angle vs. Roode stuff which made me feel like they wanted to kill each other. It would be better if they were meeting in the tournament, but there’s always the chance that they could cost one another their matches to set up a showdown somewhere in the future.

On the other hand, we have Aces and 8’s. That’s my problem with them: they’re still around. This group has been around nearly 18 months at this point and shouldn’t have made it half that long. I have no idea why this team is still around and I have no idea what TNA sees in them anymore. It’s Ray and two goons who have never accomplished anything on their own but we’re still supposed to care about them?

Overall the show was decent tonight but there was too much stuff that went nowhere, such as pretty much everything other than the main event and Angle vs. Roode. I liked tonight’s episode, but I have zero faith in TNA to make this last at all. Maybe it’ll be good for a few weeks, but long term planning is TNA’s Kryptonite. Actually scratch that as it would imply TNA is Superman. We’ll say it’s their……whatever the weakness is of Carrotman.

Results

Gail Kim vs. ODB vs. Brooke went to a no contest when Gail Kim interfered

Ethan Carter III b. Dewey Barnes – 1 Percenter

Bad Influence b. Joseph Park/Eric Young – Crucifix to Park

Jeff Hardy b. Chris Sabin – Swanton Bomb off the top of the ladder

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at: