Impact Wrestling
Date: January 26, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Back to Orlando for another week of shows, but after this (next week I believe) they’re off to England. Anyway, we now don’t have a number one contender because of the interference last week. This is probably setting up a triple threat or a fatal fourway at the PPV, which isn’t what I’m wanting but it’s probably going to happen and that’s ok. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the whole issue from last week and how we have no #1 contender.

Jeff is beating up Ray in the back and rams him into a table a few times. Jeff chokes him with a broom and the fight keeps going. The cameraman chases after him and Ray gets in some weak shots. They go through a door and Hardy keeps beating him up. A white truck pulls up with Roode in it and he saves Ray by ramming Jeff into a sign. Ray gets a wooden pallet but opts for some metal thing instead. He drops the pallet on Jeff’s leg and then does it again. They throw him in the truck but Storm comes in for the save but is beaten down as well. Sting eventually chases everyone off. The sight of him sans paint scared them.

Velvet Sky vs. Mickie James vs. Tara

The winner gets Gail at Against All Odds. Tara uses the Matrish to avoid a clothesline so it hits Velvet. We get into the standard formula of two fight while the third is down. Tara and Mickie do most of the fighting as we take a break. Back with Velvet monkey flipping Tara but Mickie breaks up whatever she was trying with a neckbreaker on Sky. Velvet knocks them both down, then Mickie knocks them both down. Thesz Press gets two on Velvet and a spinning kick gets the same on Tara. Velvet breaks up the jumping DDT and Tara hits the spinning side slam on Velvet onto Mickie (as in Sky landed on Mickie) for the pin at 9:37.

Rating: D. I think I’m getting very biased against women’s wrestling, but I just do not care at all about it. It’s whoever is hot at the moment and that’s about it. It’s not like people really care about it but they get a ton of time anyway. I don’t get it but there’s no way around it. Either way, weak match here but Tara vs. Gail could be good.

Gail says bring it.

We see highlights of the opening brawl earlier.

Here are Sting, Storm and Hardy to no music. He asks for Roode and Ray to get out here and the fight continues. Sting holds the good guys back with the bat and tries to calm things down. He gets them apart and says stay on one side. They fight again and eventually it’s made into a tag team tables match for later. That would be better if it wasn’t announced in the clip before the show started.

Shelley is facing Zema Ion and if he wins he gets the shot at Aries at Against All Odds.

Eric Young is getting ready and thinks a stagehand is Sammy Davis Jr. Angelina and Winter come up and imply sex. And they Love hits him low but he’s wearing a cup.

Zema Ion vs. Alex Shelley

Shelley takes over to start and gets a rollup for two. Zema beats him into the corner and doesn’t want this on cameras. He comes out of the corner with a spinning body press for two. Reverse powerbomb by Shelley and a powerbomb puts Ion on the floor. They fly around a bit and Ion sets for the 450 but Shelley moves and Sliced Bread ends this at 4:26.

Rating: C. This was a standard cruiserweight match and that’s about it. Shelley is fun to watch but ever since they’ve changed the weight limit, the title feels very secondary and the matches and feuds have felt like filler instead of something that I should care about. Such is life in a company run by Bischoff and Hogan.

AJ says that this business has changed everyone and tonight, he’s finding out why Kaz is Daniels’ puppet.

Tara says she’ll be training harder than ever and can beat Gail.

Earlier today, Eric went to Garrett’s gym to find out who the trainer is. Eric goes in and sees who it is but sends the trainer away. He was freaked out by it.

Winter/Angelina Love vs. ODB/Eric Young

Eric locks up with the referee who winds up on the apron and is then brought in. Now he tags in Eric and gets locked up with. Mike calls this the Harlem Globetrotters of wrestling. I’ve seen the Harlem Globetrotters. Eric Young is no Globetrotter. Over two minutes in and no contact yet. Winter finally hits him so Eric strips. ODB finally comes in and I’ve never been happier to see her in my life.

A Bronco Buster is messed up and Angelina takes over a few seconds later. Off to Winter who puts her in the Tree of Woe which is an image I don’t need. ODB gets in a shot and Eric throws in the flask for….another shot I guess. There’s the fallaway slam and nip up. Far too much of this match has been spent showing her underwear. Eric comes in and we get stereo airplane spins. TKO ends Angelina at 7:00.

Rating: F. I know Eric Young is popular. I get that, but my goodness I’m not a fan of him at all. This got seven minutes which is a lot of time that could have been used for someone else. Also, there was far too much of ODB taking her clothes off.

Ray and Roode fire each other up for the match later.

Video on the tag title feud with Joe/Magnus challenging the champs.

Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan

Joe strikes him into the corner to start but Morgan uses the power of choking and chopping to come back. Morgan plays to the crowd with the elbows but gets caught in the choke. He breaks it quickly and beats on Joe even more. Clothesline gets two. Joe gets a boot up in the corner and a middle rope leg lariat gives him control.

A running charge in the corner and a kick to the head get two. Morgan takes over again and hits some clotheslines. A side slam gets two. Hellevator takes too long to set up so Joe kicks him down and a backsplash gets two. Morgan gets back up and hits a discus clothesline for….three? Mike sounds just as surprised as I am but it got the pin at 4:48.

Rating: C-. This was just ok. It still amazes me how far Joe has fallen in just a few years. He’s floated from random feud to random feud for years now and I still am not clear as to why that’s happened. This feud continues the theory that tag wrestling is done in this country, at least for the time being.

The champs get beaten down with Morgan taking the double team finisher from Magnus and Joe.

Hardy and Storm say they’ll win with a boom.

AJ wants to get to the bottom of this with Kaz and knows Daniels is pulling the strings. Here are Daniels and Kaz and the latter can’t talk to AJ. Daniels talks about how AJ is always throwing a tantrum about something or other. He says Kaz doesn’t owe AJ a thing. AJ goes to the floor but Daniels and Kaz backpedal. Daniels calls AJ a thug so AJ says he’ll turn around and let Kaz take his head off.

Kaz goes to leave but Daniels directs him to go do it. He goes to the apron and can’t do it. Daniels goes in and AJ knocks him to the floor with ease. AJ says Kaz can get in here right now and shake his hand and we’ll forget all this. The idiots at the Impact Zone count for some reason as Kaz gets in. AJ sticks out his hand but Daniels says Kaz isn’t going to do that so he gets out. Daniels says he’s had it and says he’s going to propose AJ vs. Kaz.

Jeff Hardy/James Storm vs. Bobby Roode/Bully Ray

Tables match. They manage to stay calm during the big match intros. SO Sting with a ball bat isn’t enough to keep them apart but Jeremy Borash is? Weird company man. Beer Money explodes on a table as Ray tries to suplex Hardy through one, only for Jeff to hang onto the ropes with his feet. This is all on the floor. Storm spits beer in Roode’s face. Ray takes over on Hardy but Storm makes the save. We take a break with Ray taking a water bottle to the head.

Back with Ray hitting Hardy with a chair. Hardy slingshots Ray into a post and a table is sent into the ring. Storm and Hardy try to suplex Roode through the table but Ray moves the table then takes them both down. It’s one person going through the table to end it. Roode comes back and stomps Storm to the floor so it’s Roode and Hardy in the ring now.

A table is set up in the corner and Hardy is almost able to send Roode through it but Ray makes the save. Ray tries a big boot through Hardy through the table but Jeff moves, leaving a hole in the table. Codebreaker takes Ray out but a spinebuster takes out Storm. Ray puts Hardy’s head against the post and punches it for awhile.

Storm goes into the steps and Hardy is put on the table in the ring. Ray goes up but Storm kicks him down. Now Storm goes up and Roode loads up a superplex through the table but Jeff moves. Hardy pulls Roode down and hits a Twist so he can put Roode on the table. Storm elbows Roode through it to win at 14:00.

Rating: C+. Not a bad table match and it was pretty fun on top of that. I’d assume this will wind up being a fourway for the title which is fine and would be a good way to shift it over to Hardy. This was a fun way to end the show as table matches are always popular for some reason that I’ve never quite gotten.

Post match, Ray destroys the winners with a chair and Hardy is powerbombed through a table.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m not a fan of TNA lately. The stories are all there and mostly make sense, but nothing they’re doing is grabbing me. Pretty much it’s “this happens then this happens which leads us to this.” That’s fine, but it’s not going to get people excited about things. It’s not a bad show at all but it really isn’t all that interesting. I couldn’t get into it all night and was just wanting it to end, which isn’t a good thing.

Results
Tara b. Mickie James and Velvet Sky – Pinned James after a spinning side slam to Sky
Alex Shelley b. Zema Ion – Sliced Bread #2
ODB/Eric Young b. Angelina Love/Winter – TKO to Love
Matt Morgan b. Samoa Joe – Discus Clothesline
Jeff Hardy/James Storm b. Robert Roode/Bully Ray – Storm put Roode through a table

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Impact Wrestling
Date: December 22, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re back with week #2 of the wild card tournament but at least now we know who almost all of the wacky partners are. The show last week was pretty ok so hopefully they crank it up a bit more this week as the year comes to a close. We’ve got I think three more Impacts before the PPV where it’s pretty likely that Jeff gets the title back. Oh and the Jarretts are gone at the moment. Let’s get to it.

The opening video recaps last week which is the norm now.

Here are Roode and Ray to open the show. Roode is in a suit and to be fair, he’s rocking that thing. He says he loves Christmas and the fans can all thank him for the gifts they got last week. Sting and Hardy getting beaten up was great and all they needed were bows on them. Ray talks about how giving he is: he gives chicken bones to the homeless, he gives dollars to strippers and he gives whiskey to his cat.

Roode talks about learning that every action has a consequence. Lately he’s learned that he’s probably on the naughty lists of both Sting and Santa. He asks Sting to come out here and get his suspension over with because he needs time off for Christmas. Instead he gets Hardy. Don’t worry about the suspension because in three weeks, Hardy is taking the title. Tonight it’s the two of them against Hardy and a partner of his choice. This would be a little more suspenseful if they hadn’t mentioned this in the preview before the show. Of course it’s Sting. Here he is and he has the insane face paint on again.

The main event tag is officially a street fight.

Wildcard Tag Tournament First Round: AJ Styles/Kazarian vs. Rob Van Dam/Christopher Daniels

And remember, the teams are RANDOM! I mean, no one would take rivals and put them against stable mates. That would be STUPID! Tenay says Fourtune is officially defunct. Kaz vs. Van Dam to start us off. They hit the mat quickly and it’s off to AJ. Daniels wants him but Van Dam says he’s mine.

After some basic stuff it’s back to Kaz who seems to have better chemistry with RVD. Monkey flip by Rob sets up a headlock by Kaz. Back to AJ and Van Dam goes to the corner. He rams into Daniels and that counts as a tag. Daniels comes in and misses AJ, allowing the tag to Kaz. Van Dam slaps Daniels into the Fade To Black for the pin at 5:18.

Rating: D+. Basic but fine here and that’s all it needed to be. Thankfully they didn’t push Van Dam and Daniels as a team that lucks its way into the second round. Either way, this was ok but it wasn’t anything special. That goes for a lot of first round tournament matches most of the time though so there isn’t much to complain about there.

Anthony Nese says he’s awesome and can hang with anyone.

Zema Ion says he’s pretty.

Zema Ion vs. Anthony Nese

This is the second match in the best of three series with Ion up 1-0. Ion has hairspray so you know he’s a heel. The winner of this is in a four way against Aries, Kash and Sorensen. Ion dives through the ropes to take Nese out with a dropkick before the bell. Back in Nese snaps off a rana for two. Cross body gets the same. Ion gets in a shot but Nese fights back and hits a Lionsault for two.

The American hits a German on the Filipino for two. Nese misses a springboard body block for two and Ion takes over again. Nese jumps from the mat to the top for a super rana for two. Ion hits a spinning facebuster but pulls Nese up like he did last week. Naturally it allows Nese to nip up into a rollup for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: C+. Not bad but the problem is the lack of any reason to care about these guys or the match they had. Nese is a generic face and Ion is a generic heel. The match was fine and they did some good stuff, but I’ve seen a match like this a thousand times and I’ve seen it better a few hundred times. That’s the problem with these cruiserweight matches: it’s REALLY hard to top them and when they’re average, they look weak.

Madison Rayne is in a referee dress and says Karen put her in charge of the Knockouts.

Pope says he’s there for people when they need him. What D-Von didn’t get is that Pope is a better trainer than he is so let him train. He’ll always be pimping too. D-Von vs. Pope at Genesis again. D-Von comes in and grabs him but one of his kids hits him in the back. Pope calls them his boys.

Eric Young and D-Von are on a date because they’re in the wild card tournament together. One of their opponents is Shannon Moore and Eric locks up with a referee.

Here’s Madison and she calls out Tara and Tessmacher. She shouts a lot and the fans chant what sounds like USA. Madison repeats that she’s the head of the Knockouts which surprises Mike and Taz, even though she said it earlier. Her job is to destroy the Knockouts and she’s starting with the two of them. Their closeness makes her sick so they’re fighting each other tonight and she’s the referee.

Brooke Tessmacher vs. Tara

And it’s a comedy match. They do the slowest wristlock this side of Delirious and Tara shouts ouchie. They trade some very weak covers and this is kind of amusing. The limited wrestling turns into talking and even the Impact Zone is silent. They finally get into a fight and Madison won’t count due to reasons of waving. Madison shouts at them to hit someone so they hit her. And then the Tebow it. Ok then. It ran about 6 minutes but there wasn’t exactly an ending point.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t exactly a wrestling match. I’m not sure what it was but the girls were hot so I’ll let it go.

Sting and Hardy say they’ll win.

Eric looks for a gift to give ODB and looks through the kitchen of the restaurant.

Here’s Storm to FINALLY give us something interesting. He says that Angle is looking for him but Storm will either be in the bar or in the ring. Angle gave him a beating but Storm won in the end. He makes football references and drops Tebow’s name. Angle pops up on the screen and is in Storm’s hometown. He insults a woman and that’s about it.

Ray says he and Roode will win.

Wildcard Tag Tournament First Round: Eric Young/ODB vs. Anarquia/Shannon Moore

Young vs. Anarquia to start us up and Eric dances a lot. Young locks up with the Mexican America chicks outside and then disrobes. Anarquia comes in and slams Eric. It’s off to ODB and Moore bails. ODB kind of slams him and Eric hits a top rope elbow. A low blow by ODB gets the pin at 4:36.

Rating: F. What. Ever. Man. I’m so over Eric and his unfunny comedy but TNA insists we need to see it time after time on every show.

Matt Morgan and Crimson recap the tag tournament. They don’t take it seriously it seems.

Angle beats up people in Tennessee. He pulls out a freaking cap gun and hits someone in the head with it. He superkicks a lot of them after standing them up in a line. Angle even throws the Christmas tree at someone. He challenges Storm for Genesis.

Bully Ray/Bobby Roode vs. Sting/Jeff Hardy

This is a street fight and they have a ton of time. I wonder if Sting vs. Ray is going to happen at Genesis. Probably not. Those two head to the floor and Roode takes over in the ring on Hardy. They go split screen for a bit but the painted guys clear the ring. STEREO DIVES take the heels out. Sting diving like that was pretty awesome. That takes us to a break.

Back with more violence and the bad guys in trouble. Ray hits Hardy with a kendo stick to the back and does the same to Sting. We get the dreaded cookie sheet and Ray takes over on Sting. Sting fights back and hits a superplex to take Ray down. He’s showing off tonight. Roode comes in to beat down the guy with the full facepaint (Sting) but Sting comes back again. He loads up the splash but Ray hits him with part of a wooden sign to break it up.

Ray drops an elbow for two. Hardy hasn’t been focused on in this match very much. Ray and Roode set for something but Sting ducks so Ray clotheslines Roode. Death Drop to Ray but Sting walks into a spinebuster. Hardy comes in and takes out Roode but Ray kicks his head off. Ray gets the table but Sting moves it before Hardy can go through it. He cleans house and hooks the Scorpion on Ray (who taps but it doesn’t count) and puts Roode down with a Death Drop. Another table is set up and Hardy splashes Roode through it for the pin at 18:20.

Rating: B. This knew that it was supposed to be an over the top and fun brawl and that’s what it was. There wasn’t really anything all that significant going on here but it did the job in giving Hardy the pin over Roode. Also it gave Sting a chance to look awesome as he’s limited in the ring anymore and that’s fine. Fun match and a good way to close the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I don’t want to say this show was bad, because it really wasn’t. It was however pretty meh. It came off a lot like Raw on Monday as a throwaway show, and for the most part I’m ok with that. However, stuff like the Knockouts and Eric Young got really old really fast. The main event was fun and there was kind of an energy to the show that helped it, but not one of their better episodes. Still though, it’s a holiday kind of show so taking things less seriously might be a good idea.

Results
Kazarian/AJ Styles b. Rob Van Dam/Christopher Daniels – Fade To Black to Daniels
Anthony Nese b. Zema Ion – Rollup
Tara vs. Brooke Tessmacher went to a no contest
Eric Young/ODB b. Anarquia/Shannon Moore – Low blow to Anarquia
Jeff Hardy/Sting b. Robert Roode/Bully Ray – Splash through a table to Roode

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Impact Wrestling
Date: October 20, 2011
Location: Impact Wrestling Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the show after Bound For Glory and a few things have changed. First and foremost, Hogan is a face now, having turned after a year of being the top heel in the company. Also we have the same world champion in the form of Angle who was hurt going into the match and for some reason they didn’t put the title on Roode….uh….because he wasn’t ready or something? Clearly that’s their new policy on new champions and won’t be changed at all tonight right? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the last year leading up to Hogan’s face turn at BFG.

Here’s Sting to open the show as we hear about how much of a betrayal it was for Bischoff’s son to turn on him. Sting is sane again. He talks about how this was about getting Hogan back instead of staying with what we had for the last year. He calls out Hogan because the fans want to see him and here’s the old bald dude himself, now in yellow and red.

Hogan and Sting hug because 15 years of feuding can be solved by one match or something. Hogan admits he’s been wrong and thanks the fans. He’s had a few rough years and he became a follower instead of a leader. He’s been following Bischoff’s lead instead of leading things and now he realizes how wrong Eric was. Hulk takes the blame himself and says it wasn’t Eric’s fault. Heaven forbid we have a heel come off looking evil I guess.

He talks about how he saw Immortal as a pack of wolves and saw the light to make the save. So he had a soul changing moment all of a sudden? Well that’s an explanation at least. Hogan calls Sting the true icon and shakes his hand a bunch before leaving. Sting says Hogan still has it and then calls out Dixie Carter, who still has her own theme song on standby.

After a break Dixie is in the ring to thank Sting. Sting says it’s a day to remember and to celebrate. He also mentions that Dixie wouldn’t listen to him 18 months ago and she got burned because of it. However, it’s all cool because he loves it here and Dixie is going to look out for the fans and this is her second chance. Dixie apologizes to Sting about Hogan and Bischoff. She says she doesn’t belong in the ring and needs to be at headquarters. Because of that, she’s giving Sting the day-to-day authority in Impact Wrestling. So Sting is the new GM? That could work. Sting accepts.

They hug in the ring but a 20 minute segment isn’t long enough. Here’s Kurt who somehow still has the title. For the life of me I don’t get this company at times. After another break Angle calls them superheroes and blames Dixie for his own heel turn. Angle says he’s still champion but Sting is always talking about Bobby Roode. At BFG he made Roode look like a loser and he’s the better man.

That brings out Roode who yells at Angle because of the shaky finish to the title match. He blames Kurt for cheating at the PPV and saying it was bull. That was Roode’s night and he messed it up. If you believe the internet, it was Hogan that messed it up but who’s counting? The fans chant rematch and Sting likes that idea. Sting makes the rematch but Angle plays the Lee Corso card with a not so fast my friend.

The contract says Angle had to face Roode once and only once so there’s no rematch tonight. Angle wants to know what Roode’s partner’s catchphrase is and that brings out James Storm. After break #3, Storm is in the ring and wants a title shot as well. Angle screwed the company, the fans and Roode at the PPV. That means Angle screwed Storm as well and that doesn’t work. Sting however can fix that. Since the fans want a title match tonight, maybe Storm should get one. Angle cuts him off, saying there are ten guys in front of him. That’s very true. Sting makes the match anyway because logic means nothing in TNA.

Time of that very long segment: 40 minutes.

We jump to the back and Eric and Immortal come up to Hogan. Eric calls back the dogs and says they want something to go down in the ring tonight. Eric wants to meet Hogan in the ring tonight, one on one.

During the break, something occurs to me: didn’t Sting say that the REAL Hogan was the one that wanted to take over TNA last summer? Now the REAL Hogan is the good guy? I don’t think we’re supposed to remember that.

Knockout Tag Titles: Winter/Angelina Love vs. Tara/Brooke Tessmacher

Winter and Angelina break up Tessmacher’s shirt tear and the double team is on. We officially start with Angelina vs. Tessmacher. Tessmacher is messed up because of the beatdown and the challengers both beat her down. After a few minutes of beating, Angelina misses a middle rope crossbody and it’s a double tag to Winter and Tara. Spinning side slam gets two. Everything breaks down and Tessmacher gets the pin on Winter with a top rope crossbody at 3:40.

Rating: C. This was fine, mainly due to large implants flying around and them keeping things short. Tessmacher still can’t do much in the ring but she’s improved a lot. She’d still be better at just being a sex object but most of the girls would be other than like two of them. This was nothing to see but for a quick Knockout tag, this wasn’t too bad.

Here are the Jarretts and Jeff calls out Hardy. For the sake of sanity, Jeff Jarrett will be called Jeff and Jeff Hardy will be called Hardy. Jeff talks about how Hardy has screwed up before and he’ll do it again. He says Hardy can leave tonight or he has to face Jeff. I’ll give Jeff this: he’s always ready to fight. Hardy says the fans want him here and it eats Jeff up. He’ll never light up a crowd like Hardy can and that brings about the brawl. They do the pull apart stuff like they did at the PPV. Agents come out and D’Lo Brown and Al Snow get into an argument for no apparent reason. Jeff gets in a low blow and Hardy is left laying.

Angle says he’ll keep the title tonight because he’s Kurt Angle.

We get some stills of Bischoff beating up his son on Sunday.

Eric Young wants to do a calendar photo shoot but Robbie E and Rob Terry come up. Has this been mentioned in months? Eric makes fun of Big Rob, calling him Conan the Barbarian. He calls himself a fighting champion and I begin to laugh. Eric says Robbie E can have a title shot and we’re told that Ronnie from Jersey Shore will be coming here. Oh good grief.

Abyss vs. Gunner

Gunner says that Immortal needs to prove they’re still on top so he’s fighting Abyss for Immortal tonight. Brawl to start and Gunner tries to run. Out to the floor and Gunner goes into the steps. They go back in and Gunner runs away for a countout at 1:50.

Velvet is going to thank the fans next.

Gunner says Immortal needs Abyss back and sounds scared of Abyss. Eric and company say they’re not worried. They’ll take care of Hogan first though.

We get a video about Velvet overcoming the odds because she was bullied as a kid. I don’t know what high school you went to, but girls that looked like her who were jocks weren’t bullied.

Velvet is in the ring now and holds up the belt, saying how awesome it is to finally be champion. She talks about the bullying thing again but says it was all worth it in the end. This brings out Karen and Traci and Karen yells a lot. She says she’s the Knockouts Boss and it would be boring if she just fired them both. Karen calls out security to get rid of Traci and it’s just the two of them left. She gets in Velvet’s face and threatens to strip her of the title but Jeff told her that wouldn’t be very fun. Karen wants the putting in her place to be physical.

She says she knows the perfect person to do it and says Velvet needs eyes in the back of her head. Since Velvet is a face and therefore an idiot, Madison Rayne comes out to the stage and Velvet looks at her as Gail Kim returns through the crowd and beats up Velvet. They both beat Velvet down and stand tall.

More clips from BFG.

Here’s Immortal and Bischoff will be doing the talking. He says that he’ll deal with his son later and calls out Hogan. Hogan’s music is playing before Bischoff is done talking. Eric says he’s got a lot to say so hopefully Hogan packed a lunch. He wants to know how Hogan can dare turn on these guys after they protected him for 18 months. We’ll ignore the storyline issues with that for the sake of sanity. Eric talks about how he’s the man that made Hogan who he is today. Well that’s true. Hogan is a much weaker star today than he was in the 80s.

The real problem though is that Hogan got in Bischoff’s son’s ear and stopped Eric’s son from becoming like his father. Hogan says that he’s learned a lot in the past few days and part of that is that Bischoff’s son is more of a man than Bischoff. Immortal is at ringside and Bischoff tries to hit Hogan. That fails so Hogan points at him. Here’s Immortal but they don’t attatck him. Sting slides in with a pair of ball bats and Immortal (all three of them) run.

Bischoff backs up the ramp but his son is behind him. He says how dare you Hogan but backs into his son. Eric yells at him and the son calls him a disgrace. He rips his son’s shirt open and reveals a Bischoff tattoo on his chest. Eric says his son doesn’t deserve that name anymore and gets drilled for it. He gives Hulk and Sting a thumbs up. So…what’s the payoff to this? I mean, how can this go anywhere since he’s not a wrestler and neither is his dad?

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. James Storm

The bell is ringing at 10:55 so this is going to be short. Angle pounds him down in the corner but brags too much. He walks into a superkick and Storm is champion at 1:20. Well they can’t make it much more definitive than that.

Roode comes out to celebrate and is quickly followed by the rest of Fourtune. Storm goes into the crowd to celebrate.

Storm comes back for the celebration and says this is great. He hands Roode the belt because it belongs to him. Roode takes it and wraps it around Storm’s waist. Fourtune stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t into this show. There was way too much talking, but I can understand wanting to focus on storylines a lot. That’s fine, but with a huge twist at the end the show felt like one big angle instead of a TV show. I can live with that once in awhile, but if it becomes the norm this show is in trouble. Anyway, things have certainly changed, although I have a lot of questions about a lot of things, and that’s not really a good thing. As for the title change, as usual with TNA: I think I like the end results but I’m not wild about how they got there.

Results
Tara/Brooke Tessmacher b. Angelina Love/Winter – Top rope crossbody to Winter
Abyss b. Gunner via countout
James Storm b. Kurt Angle – Superkick

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Impact Wrestling
Date: October 6, 2011
Location: Knoxville Civic Auditorium, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re in Knoxville now (if that wasn’t clear before) and it’s Hulk Hogan’s retirement announcement. Why do I have a feeling that may not be legit after last year’s hospital ordeal. Anyway, we have two more shows before BFG so I’m sure Bobby Roode still respects Kurt a lot and that he’s the next world champ. If you’re not sure, just listen and I’m sure you’ll hear it a few dozen times tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Beer Money to open the show. Roode finishes the Fourtune gauntlet tonight and they’re in the semi main event. Storm isn’t happy with this because Hogan is taking the spot from them. It’s time for Hogan to retire. Roode talks about facing the other members of Fourtune and needing to beat them to get here. He needs Storm at his best for the sake of getting him ready for Angle. Storm will do that later and tonight he might be a little better than Roode.

Sting is here in a red jacket and a Hogan t-shirt.

Since it’s Hogan’s big nights, we look back at Hogan moments in Impact Wrestling. First up: Hogan arrives on January 4, 2010.

Kazarian vs. Gunner

This is fallout from last week with Traci’s pull apart brawl and Gunner laying out Kaz. They fight over the arm and Kaz’s goes into the post. Back in Gunner works on the arm for a bit but Kaz takes the leg out to take over for all of a second. Kaz’s arm goes into the post again, setting up an armbar for the tap at 4:12. That came out of nowhere but I kind of like it….I think. And never mind as Gunner hits him just a tiny bit more and it’s reversed to a DQ.

Rating: C-. No idea what the point of this was although it was cool to see a feud/story go from one week to another. The ending was kind of strange though because it came out of nowhere. It made sense from an injury standpoint as Kaz had his arm worked on for a bit before the tap, but it looked like a regular armbar/wristlock. I don’t get it, nor do I get the point of the post match DQ.

Here’s Anderson to apologize to the people who mean the most to him: his anal openings known as fans. He’s worked for his whole life to get here and isn’t sure what he was thinking when he joined Immortal. He mentions Ray and here he is. They talk about how Ray keeps using weapons to beat him down (“Overcompensating with the chain?) and Ray says Anderson doesn’t get another match. Anderson challenges him to a Philadelphia Falls Count Anywhere match. Wasn’t that already set up?

Roode and Storm are getting ready.

Eric gets here and isn’t happy about the Hogan announcement. They’ve worked together for years and it ends tonight.

Kendrick talks about how Aries has weaknesses and he can exploit them. It’s your usual insane stuff. He insults Kid Kash and here’s Kash to retort with his fists.

Mickie James/Velvet Sky vs. Winter/Madison Rayne

Mickie vs. Winter to start and it’s off to Madison quickly. Kaz is going to the hospital. Velvet comes in and doesn’t so much so it’s off to Mickie again to beat up Winter. A Thesz Press sets up a neckbreaker which sets up a rana which sets up a two. Angelina’s cheating gets two for Winter. After some uninspired stuff, Velvet comes in and cleans house with a modified X Factor which doesn’t look that good. Angelina grabs the wrong chick’s leg and Winter gets in trouble. Not that it matters anyway as Madison rolls up Velvet with the tights at 4:41 for the pin.

Rating: D+. So what was the point of the leg trip exactly? If you’re going to have Angelina screw up, shouldn’t it lead to it ending badly? The Knockouts are better than the Divas but that’s still not saying much. I do kind of like the sexiness of the Knockouts more but it’s not exactly the best it’s ever been. Nothing to see here but it had all four chicks for BFG in the same match so points for that.

Jeff Hardy is here. AND HE HAS SLEEVES!!!

Remember the one time Hogan wrestled on Impact?

Angle is worried about Jeff and Eric says chill. Angle says cool.

Here’s Eric and he calls out Jeff Hardy. He talks about how he’s been in the business for 25 years and he’s never dropped the ball. I guess we’re overlooking WCW and their huge lead. Anyway Jeff has turned dropping the ball into an art form. Jeff has been looking for another chance but Eric says Jeff is out of chances with him. Eric says Jeff is done so here’s a Twist of Fate for Uncle Eric. He shouts Screw You and Immortal chases him off.

Jeff is still here.

Hogan throwing Dixie out is another moment.

Samoa Joe vs. Crimson

They fight to the corner quickly with Joe taking an early advantage. Off to a cravate which doesn’t get Crimson much of anywhere. They go to the floor and Joe gets in a shot to the leg/ankle that he injured on Crimson a few weeks ago. Joe works over the leg for awhile and then it’s back inside. A leg sweep takes Crimson down and here’s a leg lock that isn’t quite a heel hook according to Taz. Crimson grabs a small package out of nowhere for the pin at 5:13.

Rating: C-. This was more of a brawl than a match but I’m not sure what it solves if anything. Joe still can’t win anything and Crimson continues to win without looking dominant. Not much here but I’ve seen worse. It’ll likely be a three way at BFG with Morgan being thrown in.

Ray tries to talk down Philly to make sure he’s a heel in Philly.

Long video on Roode getting ready for BFG.

James Storm vs. Robert Roode

Face vs. face here and partner vs. partner so you know the respect is way turned up. They feel each other out a lot and Roode controls with a headlock. Storm grabs the arm but gets caught in another headlock. Very technical stuff so far. They hit the ropes and Roode avoids a super kick and takes Storm down with an arm drag. The Fujiwara is avoided and we take a break.

Back with more back and forth stuff. Daniels vs. AJ will be I Quit for no apparent reason. They start slugging it out and Storm is fighting more like a heel than he usually does. Blockbuster gets two. Roode gets sent to the apron so Storm challens his inner Orton with an elevated DDT for two. Back in the spinebuster gets two for Roode. The idea is Storm is getting frustrated while Roode is staying calm.

After Roode gets crotched Storm hooks a superplex for a very long two. Superkick is countered into the Crossface but Storm rolls into the ropes. So I guess Storm > HHH? Codebreaker sets up the Backstabber but it only gets two. The fans say this is awesome and while it’s good I don’t know if it’s awesome. There goes the referee (naturally) and Angle comes out to send Storm into the steps. Nice planting of seeds there but it only gets two. Storm tries another superkick but falls into a fisherman’s suplex for the pin at 13:14.

Rating: B-. Solid stuff here but the ref bump made me roll my eyes. I did like what Kurt is doing though as he’s trying to make Storm turn on Roode and since no one is ever capable of watching tape in wrestling it might cause some of it for the PPV. Good main event and I’d expect to see this headlining a PPV someday soon.

Here’s Hogan for the retirement speech. He talks about how he’s been in Knoxville and how much he loves the fans. He isn’t sure what he’s going to do now with all the free time he has now. Some fans had asked if it was worth a ten hour drive to be here for it and he says yes it’s real. Hogan thanks the fans and they cheer for him again. He holds up the weight belt and lays it down in the ring, saying that Hulkamania is over and let the celebration begin.

Here’s Sting with a rebuttal I guess. He looks like a Hogan/Beetlejuice hybrid here. Sting says he doesn’t buy it but Hogan is like dude it’s real. Sting talks about how amazing it is today that you can have a camera anywhere today. Nothing is sacred today and Sting has some compelling footage about Hogan. Here’s Hogan and Bischoff with Hogan talking about how the fans are going to fall for this retirement hook line and sinker. Hogan makes fun of hillbillies in Knoxville and Hulk in the ring freaks. He says he’ll fight Sting at BFG and if Sting wins he’ll give the company back to Sting and Carter. WOW that was forced.

Overall Rating: C. Not a terrible show here but me being half asleep for a lot of it didn’t help. The wrestling was short but at this point I can live with that because it’s about building up to BFG now and with the card being set, you don’t really need many more new matches or stories going on. Decent show overall but it’s really just holding down the fort until BFG and that’s fine.

Results
Gunner b. Kazarian – Armbar
Madison Rayne/Winter b. Mickie James/Velvet Sky – Rollup
Crimson b. Samoa Joe – Small Package
Bobby Roode b. James Storm – Fisherman’s Suplex

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 22, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Counting tonight there are four shows left before Bound For Glory. Last night the rest of the shows leading up to the PPV were taped in Nashville so the entire thing has been set. I’ve never been a fan of that but that’s just me. Anyway, tonight we continue with Roode facing Fourtune in his gauntlet style thing as well as continue having Hogan and Sting set up since now that match is official for BFG. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Sting in a Hogan shirt and jeans to open the show with a contract in his hand. He talks about how things are great right now and he wants Hogan here right now. Hogan comes out and says he’s not medically cleared to wrestle. Sting FREAKS (in his insane way) and says he has some footage. It’s of Hogan killing Sting with a chair and beating him up from a few weeks ago. Hogan says he’s not going to fight at BFG even if he’s in shape as Sting has been chasing him for years but never caught up to him.

Sting says ok then. Screw BFG and let’s do it right now. Cue Bischoff for the interruption. He goes off on Sting and Sting doesn’t seem that interested. Eric tells Sting to look at him and Sting does as he clocks Bischoff with a right hand. Eric looks a bit dead now. Sting gets in Hogan’s face and says the match will happen.

Karen talks to Mickie and Tessmacher and says get ready for their match. Mickie leaves and Tessie says none of that erotic stripping stuff. She also tells Traci to cover those things up. She yells at Karen again and Kaz comes up to her to call Karen a madam. He and Traci leave and Karen immediately calls Jeff to yell.

Jeff Hardy arrives and is looking for someone to talk to.

Brooke Tessmacher vs. Mickie James

This is part of the qualifying series for the title match at BFG. The crowd goes almost silent once the bell rings. They fight over a wristlock (the girls, not the crowd, although that would be interesting to see) and we’re in the always awkward face vs. face match here. Tessmacher gets a rana for two and a dropkick to take over.

She grinds onto Mickie’s face in the corner and Mickie is ticked off. I guess she’s changed teams since her infatuation with Trish. She beats up tessmacher with a bad flapjack and the jumping DDT gets the pin at 2:55. Tessmacher looked MUCH better here than she usually does and is downright watchable.

Mexican America is off to get some new tattoos in a truck.

Al Snow talks to Jeff hardy who says Jeff made a mistake. He shakes Jeff’s hand and says to not make that mistake again and start at the top. Al also says he’s here if Jeff needs him.

X-Division Title: Jesse Sorensen vs. Austin Aries

No entrance for Sorensen. Aries asks for silence before the match which is an old school heel tactic and it works. He takes Jesse to the mat and tries to tick him off. Jesse is all annoyed and Austin steals Jesse’s football. Sorensen adds a third sport to things with a baseball slide and then a HUGE dive over the top to take Aries out. Kid Kash comes out to distract Sorensen which only works for a bit as Sorensen gets a big old Kingstonesque top rope cross body for two.

Aries goes up and jumps into a dropkick for two. Sorensets for something but Austni counters by ramming him into the corner. We get a Let’s Go Jesse/Austin Aries dueling chant. Kash is still there and distracts Jesse again, shoving the football into his chest. That isn’t a DQ for some reason and Jesse throws the ball into Kash’s chest. Aries hits a dropkick to the back of the head and a rollup for the pin at 4:27.

Rating: C. Not bad but Kash vs. Sorensen is something that should be over already. They had a three match series and Sorensen won the thing. What’s the point in continuing it now? Aries probably needed to get a clean win here but I see the idea of having him win with some shenanigans. Not bad but nothing great. Sorensen can jump though.

Anderson and RVD talk about their tag match tonight with Ray and Lynn, their respective opponents at BFG.

Anarquia has a new tattoo on his chest and says we need some tequila. The chicks go off to get it and the tattoo artist has to switch with someone else. Anarquia says he’s afraid of needles so they pray for him to not be scared. As they open their eyes, Ink Inc pops in and beats them up. They fight into the lobby of the place and the tattoo lady pops Anarquia with an elbow. This beating is going on for awhile. Hernandez was put through a table. They beat Anarquia onto a table and tattoo him but we’re not allowed to watch.

Jeff Hardy is looking for Kurt but finds Matt Morgan. Matt says hang for a bit. He rants about what Jeff did from a professional standpoint. Personally though he says he used to be a painkiller addict and he’d be a hypocrite to not give Jeff one last chance. Matt says if Jeff screws up one more time, Morgan will be the first person on him.

In the back, RVD has been put through a table. No idea who did it.

Hardy is talking to Kurt and Kurt doesn’t want him here. Angle says no one wants him here now and Kurt tries to throw him out. Jeff wants to know who Kurt is to judge him. Kurt goes on his rant about how great he is and tells Jeff to get out again. He goes to leave and Jeff stops him, saying it’s because Kurt knows he’s the biggest threat to the title. Kurt says don’t ever say that again and leaves.

Here’s Kurt and he calls out Robert Roode. Here’s Bobby still with the Beer Money theme. We take a break before Roode gets in the ring. Back and Angle says that Roode has passed the first test against Kaz in a great match. Tonight however he has Christopher Daniels. Kurt isn’t sure if Daniels will play by the rules tonight. Roode says this isn’t going to work. For 13 years now he’s given everything to the business and he knows Kurt is the best in the world. However at BFG he’s going to become world champion.

Angle implies he’s gotten to someone that Roode is close to and implies it’s Storm. Here’s the Beer in Beer Money. Roode looks confused and Kurt gives Storm a thumbs up on the way to the ring. He says to Roode that he makes his own rules. However he’s not here to get into it with Roode but rather Angle. Oral sex is implied but Storm wants a match with him instead. Kurt doesn’t turn it down or accept it but Storm seems confident it’s happening. I guess it is happening.

Bully Ray/Jerry Lynn vs. Mr. Anderson/Rob Van Dam

There’s no RVD due to the attack earlier. Ray starts us off but tags in Lynn almost immediately. Anderson is crotched on the top and it’s off to Ray. A splash gets a fast two and we’re in a chinlock about two minutes into this. Lynn gets a rolling…eye poke and Anderson is down. He sets for the Rolling Thunder but stomps on Anderson instead. He’s making fun of Van Dam if that wasn’t clear.

Some double teaming fails and Anderson takes them both down. A neckbreaker gets two on Ray and Anderson takes them both down again, including with an Amazing Red double spin kick to Ray for two. Lynn is sent to the floor and the Bubba Bomb is countered into the Mic Check for two. Lynn made the save but Anderson is able to hit the swanton for two. Lynn comes off the top for a save but hits Ray by mistake….for two. Ok then. Lynn distracts Anderson and a shot with the chain is enough for Ray to pin Anderson at 6:23.

Rating: C. I kind of liked the idea of this match as Anderson couldn’t get the win against the numbers game. The attacker of Rob isn’t a huge issue as it’s pretty clear it was Lynn and Ray, which is fine as it makes sense. Not bad here but it was a bit of a stretch to have Ray kick out of the swanton and the shot off the top from Lynn, although that’s a minor complaint.

Storm says he’s happy about Roode getting the title shot and says he’ll make some trouble with Angle even if he didn’t win the Series.

Christopher Daniels vs. Bobby Roode

Daniels comes out in street clothes. He talks about how he won’t wrestle Roode tonight because it would be a great match, but he has nothing left to prove. Three weeks ago he beat AJ in this ring which means a lot more. Cue AJ who wants to know what the deal is with Daniels. Daniels says there’s nothing to get over because Daniels is the better man. AJ is glad he has his confidence back but if Daniels keeps bringing up AJ’s name, there’s going to be another match. Daniels declines but AJ slaps him. AJ goes to leave but Daniels talks some trash and the fight is on.

After a break they’re STILL fighting. They fight to the back and into the Direct Auto Insurance offices. Why would you have an office in the back of a wrestling arena? They go back to the ring and Kaz comes out to break it up. They get calmed down and Daniels kicks AJ in the balls before bailing.

Angle is with Steiner and says he’ll beat Storm tonight because of the training he’s been doing. Steiner has been training him. Steiner says Angle is the best ever and says Kurt will beat Storm.

Back from a break Kaz and Daniels are still arguing. This makes about 20 minutes on the three parts of this segment. Kaz says they’re not his enemies and to calm down.

Kaz goes to AJ and AJ says that was Daniels showing his true colors. He says Daniels lost his mind after getting a little something going. Kaz says that’s Chris being Chris and says the whole thing is BS. AJ throws up in a trashcan due to the pain in his balls. Kaz talks about how this is about the difference between wrestling and life.

Bischoff tells Hogan he’ll find a loophole. Hogan says he’s got it and has a bombshell waiting for next week.

Kurt Angle vs. James Storm

Storm tries to take it to the mat, probably due to a lack of sobriety. Angle for some reason doesn’t want to do that and Storm pops him with a right hand. We go to the mat again with Storm in control but then Kurt is launched over the top and gets to do his front flip and lands on his feet spot. Angle suplexes him on the floor and takes over back in the ring. After a rest hold they both try cross bodies to send both guys down. Angle might be bleeding from somewhere on his arm.

Storm starts his comeback with some clotheslines and Kurt is in trouble. Backstabber gets two. Angle snaps off a belly to belly for two. Angle Slam is countered into what looked to be the Eye of the Storm but Kurt reverses into the ankle lock which Storm can’t break. Yeah Kurt’s forearm/elbow is bleeding but it’s nothing too serious. Storm finally rolls through for two and sends Kurt’s shoulder into the post for two more. Superkick is countered into rolling Germans for two more. You would think all those twos would get three eventually but they never do.

Moonsault misses (duh) and Storm heads to the apron. Kurt, looking like he could use a cheeseburger, tries to run the ropes but gets his head bitten instead. A top rope elbow gets a VERY close two as this has gotten good. They slug it out and the Eye of the Storm is broken up again. And here’s Gunner for interference to set up the Slam for two.

Angle slaps him around and Storm superkicks the referee. Naturally the kick hits Angle the second time and here’s Earl for two as Gunner pulls him out. Gunner clocks Storm with the belt and I guess the match is thrown out at about 11:30. Roode comes in to take out Gunner. He picks up the belt

Rating: B. This was getting good until the end which is probably the best way they could have gone. I still think Storm costs Roode the title at the PPV which is both good and bad as their feud is pretty much guaranteed at some point but they need to let Roode win the title and have a moment first to set up a slow burn heel turn for Storm. Good TV match here until the pretty obvious ending.

Roode holds up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Well the pacing problems are back. There were two stretches tonight with over half an hour between matches. In short, that is not something that should happen. With TNA’s roster as big as it is, that should never be a problem. You could throw anything out there to bridge one of those gaps. The TV Title was won in late May and has been defended twice since, once in June and once in August. You could throw that out there. Maybe the Pope or someone like that.

But no, instead we need to spend THREE segments on AJ vs. Daniels to set up their 900th match on PPV and have a long segment with Ink Inc beating up the tag champs. The wrestling, what little there was, was just ok and the talking was nothing special other than to show that it should be Storm challenging for the title and not Roode. Not their best effort here but they added to BFG so points for that.

Results
Mickie James b. Brooke Tessmacher – Jumping DDT
Austin Aries b. Jesse Sorensen – Rollup
Bully Ray/Jerry Lynn b. Mr. Anderson – Chain to the throat
Kurt Angle vs. James Storm went to a no contest

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 23, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s likely another show building towards Destination X here which means we’ll probably get another triple threat with guys brought in.  That’s a cool idea as it lets you see guys you usually wouldn’t see having some pretty fun matches.  Other than that, probably some more stuff about the Bound For Glory Series, which is still a long way off from the final goal.  Anyway let’s get to it.

We open with clips of last week’s two big moments in the form of the Jarrett/Angle parking lot fight and Sting going all psycho on Hogan.

And here’s Jarrett again who wants to be part of the Bound For Glory Series (which he says hasn’t started yet for some reason).  Eric says no because of the Network and says Jarrett needs to go to Mexico.  Actually this past Saturday he won the AAA World Title so this fits rather well.  Eric says Jeff needs to lead the Immortal takeover of Mexico.  Wonder how long Jeff will be gone.

Here’s Eric in the arena and he wants to talk to Sting.  Here’s the Scorpion enthusiast himself.  Eric wants to know why Sting thought he could get away with what he tried to do to Hogan last week on Eric’s show.  Eric yells at Sting a lot and then Sting goes into an almost Doink voice, saying Eric hurt his feelings and cursed at him.  Sting is playing up the psycho side here, saying he’s going to snap Eric’s neck.  He calls Eric a con artist and says that Bischoff is a virus that has infected Hogan but that’s going to change.

Eric says that’ll never happen because it’ll always be Hogan and Bischoff.  Sting is going to have to change because of Bischoff though.  He may have a rematch on the 14^th but Eric can change that.  Tonight it’s Sting vs. Abyss and on the line is….nothing apparently.  Sting goes back into his Jim Carrey voice here and says that it’s Eric rather than Sting who has a price to pay.  Sting hits him in the corner and more or less struts around the ring.  Death Drop leaves Bischoff laying.  He gets the makeup treatment and the Scorpion as we go to a break with the hold still on.

Apparently there have been some BFG Series matches on house shows, including Gunner pinning AJ clean.  Morgan, AJ, RVD, Gunner and Scott Steiner all have seven points and everyone else has zero.

Bound For Glory Series: Scott Steiner vs. Bully Ray

This has the potential to be pretty cool or a trainwreck.  This is your big slugout that you would expect here.  Ray controls to start but misses a splash in the corner.  Steiner takes over with some solid shots and hits the pushups after the elbow.  Ray gets a boot up in the corner to shift the momentum again and three covers off a right hand.  Ray rams in the forearm smashes in a crossface style and loads up the Bubba Bomb.  Steiner escapes the full nelson though to a big face chant.

Steiner comes back with the suplexes and there goes the referee.  Overhead belly to belly puts Ray down and it’s time for the Recliner.  No referee though, even though it’s that horrid submission of his.  At least pull back on the thing Scott.  Ray taps but there’s no referee.  Scott goes to check on him instead of keeping the hold on until he gets back, allowing Ray to find a chain to hit Steiner in the throat with a chain for the pin at 5:55.

Rating: C. Not bad at all for a big man brawl here for the most part.  These two would be infinitely more entertaining in a promo than a match but this wasn’t that bad.  Scott was more or less the face by default here and the match wasn’t that bad at all.  Granted I had low expectations coming in for it but the match wasn’t bad at all.

Bischoff tells Gunner and Abyss to take care of Sting when Anderson comes in.  Anderson gets yelled at for not helping Bischoff and Eric says he won the title for Sting for him.  Anderson says he was having a burger during the attack.  Eric yells at Anderson and says come over to Immortal and Anderson stands there.  Eric says think about it and isn’t happy at all.

Steiner is looking for Ray in the back.

Zema Ion, more commonly known as Shiima Xion of various indy companies, is in an X Division Showcase match tonight.

Miss Tessmacher/Velvet Sky vs. Jackie Moore/ODB

Velvet says this was supposed to be no holds barred but they can’t do that because their opponents aren’t under contract or something.  Ok apparently it is no holds barred.  They start in the aisle and it’s a big brawl.  Apparently this is before the bell.  Velvet and ODB get in the ring as we go to a break before a bell rings.

Back and I guess the bell rang during the break.  Jackie is hammering on Tessmacher but Miss manages to break free, only for Velvet to not be there.  ODB hammers on her a bit but Tessmacher gets a spear of all things to break through and get the tag.  Velvet cleans house and everything breaks down.  The referee gets taken down again and Jackie kicks Velvet between the legs for the pin at 3:50 shown.

Rating: D. The Knockouts division is so horrible anymore and the talent just isn’t working most of the time.  Jackie is completely worthless and I’ve yet to see anyone that actually cares about her in the slightest.  ODB isn’t much better and while Velvet and Tessmacher look great, they’re better suited as being there looking hot rather than being in the ring.  Not much here at all in another sloppy mess of a match.

Federico Palacios is also in the X Division match tonight.  He’s more known as Azrieal.

Tara has Madison at the PPV and Madison comes up to yell at her.  Madison gets rammed into the wall and Tara tells her to never touch her again.

Roode still isn’t cleared to wrestle even though he’s in the BFG Series.

Steiner storms into the Immortal locker room and swings a chain around.  He’s freaking again.  Ray says Steiner would have done the same thing.  Ray offers Steiner a spot in Immortal.  Steiner throws the chain again and says he’ll think about it.

Bound For Glory Series: Crimson/Matt Morgan vs. Beer Money

Roode vs. Crimson start us off and I guess Roode’s arm is fine now.  He hits the Hennig neck snap but Crimson runs him down with ease.  Roode is holding his arm now and Storm tags himself in.  Off to Morgan who can’t hit the elbows in the corner.  Codebreaker and a neckbreaker combine for two for Storm.  Discus lariat gets two for Morgan, setting up the elbows in the corner and the tag off to Crimson.

Next week it’s AJ vs. Gunner.  Crimson beats on Storm for awhile until Storm hits a Backstabber to bring in Roode.  Morgan is in also and the shoulder looks better.  Carbon Footprint misses in the corner and Roode goes after the leg.  Forearm puts Morgan down but he jumps into a chokeslam attempt.  Roode goes for a Fujiwara Armbar out of a counter but it’s broken up by Crimson.

Double suplex puts the red guy down and there’s the shout.  For once though they get caught, in this instance by a double clothesline from Morgan.  Roode gets a Blockbuster but his arm is hurt again.  Storm gets tossed to the floor by Roode onto Crimson but walks into the Carbon Footprint for the pin at 6:15.  I think only Morgan gets the points but it’s not really clear.

Rating: B-. Pretty good tag match here with the champs being messed up because of Roode’s arm injury.  I’m curious as to where they’re going with the arm injury and if they’re going to drop the titles because of it.  I liked this though and I wish they’d get Beer Money out there more, but only once Roode is healthy.

Yeah only Morgan gets points.

Abyss says he follows Sun-Tzu and Bischoff.  Tonight Bischoff told him to take out Sting so that’s what he’ll do.

Eric Young is looking for another TV Star, apparently Popeye.

Here’s AJ to talk about Destination X.  He has an idea for a match at the X-Division PPV.  AJ says he’ll be at that show because the X-Division is his roots.  He lists off some of the great X guys over the years….and here’s Joe.  He says that AJ was the pioneer but it didn’t get taken seriously until Joe got here.  AJ is the heart of the division but Joe gave the division its balls.  Since there needs to be the third guy to make this complete, here’s Daniels to the Fourtune music.  Daniels suggests AJ vs. himself and it’s accepted.  No Joe?  Apparently not.

Kaz isn’t thrilled with what Daniels just did.  Daniels leaves and Joe pops up, making fun of Fourtune.  Kaz says stay out of it and gets beaten up.  Joe drilling him and walking away is great.

Dakota Darsow, the last guy in the X match, is the son of Barry Darsow, more commonly known as Smash or Repo Man.

Federico Palacios vs. Dakota Darsow vs. Zema Ion

Darsow is sent to the floor quickly as we actually get a graphic saying who is in what color.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen that in a wrestling match.  Ion gets a DDT on Palacios for two.  More fast paced stuff here but less high flying than last week.  Just as I say that Ion hits a missile dropkick to Darsow to send him to the floor.  Palacios is very fast.  Darsow pops back in and takes both guys down to take over again.

Palacios hits a huge suicide dive onto Darsow and Zema mosly misses a corkscrew plancha, mostly landing on the head of Palacios with his feet.  That looked sick.  Back in the ring Darsow hits a moonsault but Palacios hits a double stomp to the back of Darsow to break it up.  Superplex is broken up and Darsow kicks Ion on the top.  Zema knocks him off the top and a 450 ends this at 4:42.

Rating: C+. Not as good as last week as some of the botches hurt it, but still a pretty good match.  The 450 was pretty awesome to end it, but I’d like to know some more about these guys rather than just saying they’re awesome and X-Division guys.  Not bad and more or less what the X-Division is supposed to be: insane stuff with flips and dives to fire up the crowd.

RVD says he wants to be at the X-Division PPV and Jerry Lynn comes in.  Lynn says they were both X-Division before there was one and then leaves.

Winter vs. Mickie James

This is a street fight and it already was going on in the back when we came back from a break.  Winter is dominating and whips Mickie with a leather belt.  They head out to the stage where Mickie gets the belt away from her.  Thesz Press off part of the set takes over for Micke and they roll down the ramp.  Mickie hits a rana on the floor and Winter is in trouble.  Into the ring and Mickie hits a missile dropkick, but here’s Angelina to hit her backbreaker.  It’s behind the referee’s back but it’s a street fight so it’s not like it would have mattered anyway.  That gets the pin at 4:40 shown.  Angelina is smiling post match.

Rating: C-. Just another brawl with the Knockouts that is probably going to set up a title match later.  That’s fine and good, but what was the point in this being a street fight?  Shouldn’t the regular match set up the gimmick match?  Anyway, nothing of note here and two street fights with Knockouts in a night is too much for my taste.  Better than the first one by about a mile though.

Abyss vs. Sting

Non-title of course here.  This actually gets big match intros but Sting jumps Abyss before his intro.  Sting manages to run Abyss over with a shoulder block which is a rare sight.  They head to the floor off a Sting clothesline and Abyss takes over.  He throws on an armbar which is kind of a weird choice but it doesn’t last long enough to think about it.

Sting gets a running start but runs into the chokeslam for two.  Abyss picks up the Art of War book and hits Sting with it for a not DQ.  And there’s a barbed wire glove.  Sting avoids it for a bit and hits the Splash in the corner.  Death Drop hits for two.  Sting gets the glove and pops Abyss in the head with it to draw blood for the DQ at 5:30.

Rating: C. Fine for a quick main event here that tied into the opening of the show and played into Sting’s crazy stuff.  Not a horrible match or anything but just kind of there.  The ending is fine as Sting going insane is better than an actual ending in a match that Sting doesn’t really need to win.  This was fine.

Post match Sting hits Abyss like 5 times as Anderson comes out for a staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Wow I must be running a fever.  First and foremost here: the pacing was the best it’s been here in forever.  There were no 20-30 minute stretches with nothing but talking.  It helps a lot to have a match to break the boredom, even if it’s just something quick and relatively pointless.  That’s one of Impact’s biggest issues and it’s very refreshing to see it not happen for once.  Destination X was built up pretty well and the show wasn’t boring for the most part.  I liked this quite well and dare I say it, best wrestling show so far this week.

Results

Bully Ray b. Scott Steiner – Ray pinned Steiner after a chain shot to the throat

Jackie/ODB b. Velvet Sky/Miss Tessmacher – Jackie pinned Sky after a low blow

Crimson/Matt Morgan b. Beer Money – Carbon Footprint to Roode

Zema Ion b. Dakota Darsow and Federico Palacios – 450 Splash to Darsow

Winter b. Mickie James – Pin after a backbreaker from Angelina Love

Abyss b. Sting via DQ when Sting hit Abyss with a barbed wire glove

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 19, 2011
Location: Impact Wrestling Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Back From The Dead

It’s the first show of a new era this week as WRESTLING MATTERS apparently.  It should be very interesting to see how the show has changed in this new world of the company emphasizing wrestling.  Also it’s time for the fallout from Sacrifice which should be interesting as we have Slammiversary set with Sting vs. Anderson for the title.  Lot to get to tonight so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Angle/Chyna vs. the Jarretts on Sunday as well as the main event with some quick soundbytes from the winners.

There’s a new intro and color scheme as it’s now blue and a silver/gray.  The arena looks different too and it’s a nice change.

Here’s Immortal to open the show minus Jarrett or Hogan.  Bischoff says he and Hogan should be credited for all of the changes.  He runs down Foley, saying if it had been his decision it would have been Thumbtacks Matter instead of Wrestling.  Hogan and Foley are in New York apparently having meetings.  Immortal is in charge tonight and they’ll take care of anyone that gets in their way tonight.

Here’s Kendrick and the X guys, including Gen Me and Amazing Red.  Kendrick says that it’s odd to see a non-wrestler complaining about wrestlers get in his way.  Kendrick runs Bischoff down, talking about how he’s leeched off this business forever through backstabbing and phony friends.  Oh and Bully is fat.

Bischoff meets them in the aisle and says tonight the X Division is ending.  Kazarian is going to defend the X-Division Title against Abyss.  Red is going to get Joe and Generation Me, who are no longer fighting it seems, get Matt Hardy….and Bischoff.  He even calls them vanilla midgets.  Kendrick wants a match too, so Bischoff slaps him in the head and the brawl is on.

Fourtune minus AJ comes out and it’s the big brawl of the week.  The good guys seem to stand tall but the fight continues in the aisle.  They’re not done yet as Flair throws the jacket and they start it up again.  The X Guys hit dives on Immortal and the fight continues.  This has been going for a few minutes now so it’s a rather extended brawl.  They get split up and Flair says he wants to talk to Roode later tonight.

Sarita/Rosita/Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher/Tara

Mexican America comes out for commentary on this.  Rosita vs. Mickie to start us off as we go split screen to see the commentators.  I mention this because the new logo/scheme has what looks like blue flames or smoke and they were rapidly moving on the split screen so it was a bit disctracting.  Anyway the evildoers take over with some triple teaming but Mickie manages to tag in Tara to fight Madison.  Instead Madison runs and brings in Sarita.

Tessmacher comes in and continues to only be worth her looks.  For some reason she runs into the corer of Mexican America to hit the ropes so she gets tripled teamed also.  Madison runs from Tara some more so Tara beats up Rosita a bit.  Everything breaks down and Tara almost gets to Madison, only to send Rosita into Tara who ends Rosita with a chokebomb at 4:05.

Rating: D+. This was rather sloppy the whole time as it’s obvious that at least one of the girls is there because of how she looks in tiny shorts.  Other than that, nothing of note here at all as I guess we’re setting up Madison vs. Tara which is the logical way to go.  Hard to complain when I guess Sarita is the worst looking chick out there though.

Sting is here in his old tights and gear apparently but we only see his legs.

X-Division Title: Abyss vs. Kazarian

Bischoff gives Abyss a pep talk before the match, basically saying kill him and also quoting Sun Tzu.  Power vs. speed since the beginning as the announcers talk about how this could be the last X Division Title match ever if Abyss wins the belt.  Abyss takes him down with power and cranks on the neck but Kaz fights back, only to walk into a chokeslam attempt.  That doesn’t work and Kaz gets a springboard dropkick to take Abyss down.

Kaz cranks things up with a rana, an elbow and a legdrop, all off the ropes and resulting in a two count.  Chokeslam is countered again into a victory roll for two but Kaz gets caught in Shock Treatment to shift the momentum right back to Abyss.  Vader Bomb totally misses and may have hurt his knee.  Kaz charges into a big boot as Abyss was apparently faking and the Black Hole Slam gives Abyss the only title he’s never won at 5:05.  Tazz says the internet is burning up because of that.  Abyss quotes Sun Tzu post match.

Rating: C+. Just a David vs. Goliath match but with a nice little twist of Abyss outsmarting Kaz when he couldn’t beat him with just straight power.  I’m thinking this might actually be the beginning of the end for the division as there really isn’t much of a point to the thing at the moment.  The TV Title is fine for a midcard title and despite the whole no limits thing, it’s almost always been seen as a Cruiserweight Title.  Anyway, not a bad match but nothing of note at all.

Gunner wants his belt back.

Samoa Joe vs. Amazing Red

Red looks scared but charges anyway, only to get slammed straight down and hammered in the corner.  Red gets in a shot or two and it means nothing at all.  Musclebuster and we’re done in 47 seconds.

Joe beats on Red post match until Crimson comes down for the save.  Are he and Red still brothers?

Here’s AJ who is in a neck brace and wants to talk to Tommy Dreamer.  Here’s Dreamer in sunglasses.  Apparently Storm has a concussion from the brawl earlier.  AJ is in the brace for a few weeks because of the Piledriver on Sunday.  AJ says that this is about Dreamer wanting to have a contract and how he’s there against his will.  Dreamer interprets this as AJ saying Dreamer can’t beat him.

Dreamer talks about how he’s a veteran that doesn’t have anything handed to him and drills Dreamer, saying he sold out and that AJ is as worthless as all these fans that always want more.  The fight is on and AJ’s neck goes out again until Daniels comes out for the save.  Dreamer and Daniels brawl but Bully Ray comes out and drills AJ with the chain clothesline and Daniels is taken down by a low blow from Dreamer and a big boot from Ray.  AJ takes another Piledriver from Dreamer as we go to a break.

A fan says he’s excited.

Sting says his focus is Hogan and Bischoff still.  He’s in his traditional gear here.

The “original” Sting is seen from the back, making Tenay call shenanigans.

Here’s Kurt who says he’s in a much better mood because Karen is gone thanks to Chyna.  Karen has a broken ankle apparently but Chyna isn’t here tonight.  Angle vs. Jarrett again at Slammiversary in a #1 contenders match according to Foley it seems.  Here comes Jeff who says that this is one last time but he wants to know why Kurt gets the shot at all.  Karen shouldn’t be blamed apparently and it should all be on Kurt.  Jeff never got distracted because he’s better than Kurt.  Naturally there’s going to be a stipulation for the match at the PPV: if Jeff wins, he gets the gold medal.

They shake on it but Jeff’s music hits again.  Karen pops up through the stage like Angle does in a wheelchair.  She runs her mouth and Velvet Sky pops up behind her.  Velvet shoves Karen down the ramp and she crashes into Jeff, falling out of the chair.  Velvet’s music plays as the Jarretts regroup.

Gen Me says blood is thicker than water and they’re united tonight.

Bischoff gets a call from Hogan and tells him about the match tonight.  Apparently Hogan was successful in New York.

Back and the Jarretts complain some more.  Apparently Velvet faces Winter and Angelina tonight.

Generation Me vs. Matt Hardy/Eric Bischoff

No entrance for Gen Me.  Matt vs. Jeremy to start us off and Matt uses his size advantage to take over.  Gen Me speeds things up as is their custom and work on Matt’s arm.  Matt takes over for a bit but since it’s more or less a handicap match, Gen Me takes over again with double teaming.  Poetry in Motion to Matt and Jeremy takes him down with a spear.

Matt fights back but both guys do down.  Matt wants a tag and Bischoff freaks, allowing Jeremy to hit a frog splash to Matt’s back for two.  450 attempt eats knees as we’re told that Foley and Hogan will be here next week.  Ice Pick, that double underhook chokeout by Matt has Max out cold so Bischoff comes in for a kick and the academic pin at 6:07.

Rating: D. The match sucked and the burial/elimination of the X Division continues.  I’m not complaining, but at the same time is there a reason that on a show about the rebirth of wrestling to have Eric Bischoff get a pin?  The match itself was bad on top of that but I’ve seen worse.  The Bucks using high spots is always a plus.

Angelina is still in a trance and Winter has candles everywhere.  She says that it’ll be like it was before and kisses Angelina incredibly gently as they’re up next.

Angelina Love/Winter vs. Velvet Sky

Winter starts but Angelina is tagged in almost immediately.  Angelina still can’t be hurt apparently as she shoves Velvet into the corner and brings Winter back in.  Kick to the back gets two for Velvet.  Next week Angle and Jeff will be in the ring and pick each other’s opponents.  Jeff picked RVD apparently.  Velvet fights them both off and puts a chinlock on Angelina which gets her nowhere for the most part.

Angelina takes her down with a clothesline and next week it’s AJ/Daniels vs. Ray/Dreamer.  The implied lesbians tag in and out a lot and Velvet is in trouble.  Winter gets a spinning backbreaker and Angelina is brought back in again.  She moves all slowly and gets rolled up by Sky in a small package for the pin at 4:30.

Rating: D+. The match was pretty weak as Velvet is there to look hot and yell a lot and that’s about it.  Angelina plays that zombie roll to perfection, but I wish this angle would get somewhere already as it’s been going for months and we barely know anything at all.  Weak match as again they keep things short for the Knockouts, which is probably a good idea actually.

Post match ODB returns and beats up Velvet for no apparent reason.

Tessmacher is doing a photo shoot but Eric is the photographer and doesn’t have a camera.  He shows her how to do this by stripping down to his boxers and posing.  Gunner pops up and Eric wants to talk about respect.  Gunner hammers on him and leaves as Young says good job of working together bro.

Here’s Flair to call out Robert Roode.  Flair is ticked off about giving up to end Lethal Lockdown.  Roode says that was a war, not a wrestling match.  Flair says if the shoe was on the other foot, Roode would have been put out of wrestling.  Flair rants about mentoring Beer Money and how to be a man outside the ring also when it comes to getting drunk and getting laid.  Roode is going to be a man long after Flair leaves and that it’s now his time, not Flair’s.  Flair has changed colors in a matter of seconds.

Flair wants Roode to break his shoulder again right now and Roode says it’s over.  Flair says it isn’t and slaps Roode.  Roode grabs him and throws on the armbar again but here comes Immortal.  Remember that all of Fourtune has been taken out tonight already.  They get him down with relative ease and Ray whips him with the chain.  Ray tells Abyss to get two chairs and they do something similar to hammering a nail into Roode’s arm, probably breaking it.

Sting and Old Sting are up next.

Here comes Sting, as in the real Sting.  He says that he wants to praise RVD and that he got by on the skin of his teeth last Sunday.  His focus is still on Hogan and Bischoff and taking power from them.  Less than sixty seconds after he won on Sunday here was Anderson to jump him.  There go the lights and of course it’s Anderson in the old school attire.  He gets a bat shot and a Death Drop to Sting to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I really was disappointed in tonight’s show.  This was supposed to be TNA’s big emergence as the wrestling company and we get five matches, the longest clocking in at just over six minutes, one being a total squash and two promos to end the show.  Also, Eric Bischoff gets to pin someone.  I don’t see how this is supposed to help anything as Immortal continues to have virtually no authority and yet is pushed to the moon time after time.  Tommy Dreamer is a full fledged heel.  Let that sink in for a minute.  Anyway, weak show tonight to say the least and not a good sign for the future if this is an indication.

Results

Tara/Miss Tessmacher/Mickie James b. Rosita/Sarita/Madison Rayne – Tara pinned Rosita after a Chokebomb

Abyss b. Kazarian – Black Hole Slam

Samoa Joe b. Amazing Red – Musclebuster

Eric Bischoff/Matt Hardy b. Generation Me – Bischoff pinned Max Buck after a kick to the head

Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love/Winter – Small Package to Love