Impact Wrestling
Date: March 15, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Victory Road which likely means that we’ll see more of a build between Roode vs. Sting. Also we’ve got Abyss running around (ok more like slowly walking) without his mask, talking about how he’s looking for his “brother”. That’s actually the most intriguing storyline on the show at the moment. Also there’s probably going to be more in the Bischoff saga. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Sting vs. Roode. Their contract signing is tonight. Shouldn’t that have been taken care of more than three days before the PPV?

Here’s Storm to talk about Bobby Roode. Roode is selfish and that’s what’s wrong with the world today: too many takers and not enough givers. At Lockdown, he’s going to give, want and take. He’s going to give Roode a whipping, Roode is going to want mercy and he’s going to take the world title. Storm isn’t sorry for Roode’s luck, because Roode is going to need all the luck he can get.

Storm is about to leave but here’s Ray. Ray says he kicked a chair into Storm’s head. Storm says he kicked Ray’s teeth down his throat. Ray says kiss my calves and that Storm isn’t making it to Lockdown. Storm goes into the aisle and wants to fight right now. They argue for awhile and Gunner comes out for some reason. He and storm get into it but suits and agents come out to break it up. Storm had ankle surgery earlier this week so hopefully he can go on Sunday.

Gail and Madison argue in the back even more and run into Sting. He tells them to chill because he’s got Roode on his mind. Gail vs. Mickie tonight and Madison vs. Velvet.

Roode rants about Sting being in the main event.

Velvet Sky vs. Madison Rayne

Madison tries to jump Velvet during her entrance but Velvet takes her down. No pigeons this week. Low dropkick gets two for Sky and here comes Madison. Madison chokes her on the ropes and hooks a cravate. That goes nowhere so Madison throws her to the floor. Neckbreaker gets two back inside. Off to a chinlock but Velvet comes back with a jawbreaker. Velvet comes back with forearms, a clothesline and a bulldog. Madison breaks up whatever Velvet was attempting out of a headlock. Velvet tries an O’Connor Roll but Madison reverses into one of her own and uses the tights for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: C-. Any match that ends with Velvet’s tights being pulled up is a good thing. This wasn’t that bad and they continue to be a million miles ahead of the Divas. Having four minutes and some personalities help with that though. Not a good match or anything but they weren’t horrible and the girls looked hot, which is all you can ask for most of the time.

Morgan and Crimson debate whether it’s about money or wins.

Crimson vs. Samoa Joe

Joe pounds him into the corner and hits the enziguri in the other corner. Knee drop gets two. Crimson comes back and takes Joe down, hitting a running low boot for two. Off to the Cravate and into a neckbreaker for two. Joe comes back with an atomic drop and a backsplash for two. Snap powerslam gets two for the Samoan. Crimson comes back with a spinebuster for two. Crimson charges into the release Rock Bottom in the corner and Joe loads up the MuscleBuster, but the partners get in a fight on the floor. The distraction allows Crimson to spear Joe for the pin at 4:31.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than I expected to. Sometimes the idea is just to have guys use power moves on each other and that’s what we had here. I’m pretty tired of this feud but at least it’s probably getting close to being over. That being said, I’m not sure where they go with Crimson after this feud ends. He’s kind of stuck and he’s certainly not ready for the title picture yet. Hard to say.

Aries has champagne and is up next.

Back and Aries is in the ring. He talks about how he’s now the longest reigning X Champion ever and has a video about his greatness. He thanks the other X guys for not being that good and has a drink. Here’s Ion to interrupt. Zema says that last week he beat Aries at his (Ion’s) own game. Give him the title now, or Aries might suffer the same fate as Jesse Sorensen. Aries lets Ion do the toast and the drink goes in Aries’ face. Aries pours the rest of the bottle on him and throws Ion out like trash.

Joseph Park (is it Park or Parks?) talks to Gunner but Gunner blows him off.

We recap the proposal last week. The two of them are in the back and discuss the wedding plans. They debate places they could have the wedding. Yep, it’ll be in the ring.

Angle doesn’t like Garrett Bischoff or Jeff Hardy.

Sting says you’ll see every side of Sting’s personality and career on Sunday.

Mickie James vs. Gail Kim

Mickie controls to start and throws her to the mat for two. Out to the floor and Gail grabs the belt. She gets it knocked out of her hands and Mickie brings her back in. Mickie tries to hook a victory roll in the corner but Gail Stuns her leg to take over. Gail works on the knee for a long while but gets rolled up for two. Neckbreaker gets two for Mickie as does the middle rope Press. Gail goes to the floor and this time the belt shot works, getting the pin at 5:21.

Rating: C. This was better than the previous match but the ending sucked. I guess they had to keep Mickie looking strong for some reason but they couldn’t let the champion lose before the PPV. Not a bad match and Mickie had a lot of upskirt shots which is never a bad thing. Decent little match.

Anderson is in the back and Daniels/Kaz bring up some lemonade. They want to know what Anderson is doing in this because he’s not involved. Also why pick AJ’s side instead of theirs? There’s a tag match Sunday.

Christopher Daniels vs. Mr. Anderson

Tenay suggests that Kaz is suffering from Stockholm Syndrome with Daniels. Anderson starts fast and sends Daniels to the floor. Daniels is bleeding from the cheek a bit. Anderson sends him into the barricade and then back inside. We talk about Joseph Park and apparently he’s an attorney from Chicago. Anderson gets a rollup for two but Daniels comes back with a bridging northern lights suplex for two. A slingshot moonsault eats knees though and Anderson hooks a neckbreaker for two. Daniels tries something in the corner but gets caught in the rolling fireman’s carry slam for two. Here’s Kaz but AJ pulls him off the apron and knocks him to the back. Mic Check gets the pin at 5:45.

Rating: C-. I’m not a fan of either of these guys and this was no exception. I don’t really get the point of this feud, but that might be because I’m tired of AJ vs. Daniels. For some reason the people love it though and that’s why it keeps happening. As for Anderson being AJ’s partner….I guess someone had to.

Kurt Angle vs. Garrett Bischoff

This is a five minute challenge and the latest chapter in “How many big stars can we put Garrett in the ring with in the hopes that someone cares about him because the guy has NO freaking talent but he’s Eric Bischoff’s son and since Eric Bischoff never learned from Erik Watts or Vince McMahon and doesn’t get that most people’s kids can’t freaking wrestle he’s putting his son out there with guys like Hogan and Angle when the kid can barely do anything beyond an armdrag but that’s not his fault because really, would you say no to the spot” story.

Angle dominates him and takes him to the mat with ease. He hooks a chinlock and then throws Garrett to the floor. Bischoff gets in some right hands but gets caught in a snap suplex on the floor. Angle suplexes him a lot as the clock starts to run out. Garrett escapes the Angle Slam and throws Kurt to the floor with thirty seconds to go. Angle hits the Slam with 2 seconds left but the time expires.

Rating: D. So what was the point of this? Garrett can take a beating for a long time, throw Kurt to the floor and not get pinned even though he got killed? Knowing TNA, they’ll praise him for being gutsy and accomplishing more than anyone thought he could or some nonsense like that. I’m so tired of this, and it’s really not Garrett’s fault.

Angle puts him in the ankle lock until Jeff makes the save.

The Robs have nothing to say but there’s another open challenge this Sunday.

We run down the card for Sunday and Sting vs. Roode is no holds barred.

James Storm vs. Gunner

They slug it out to start and Gunner goes to the eyes. Gunner takes over quickly and throws Storm to the floor for a bit. Back in and Gunner cranks on the neck as Ray tells Gunner to put his fist into Storm’s head. Storm comes back with clotheslines and forearms followed by the Codebreaker (now dubbed Closing Time). Last Call ends this at 3:51.

Rating: D+. Not much here but it’s good to have Storm get a win like this before the match on Sunday. Gunner is still almost entirely worthless in important matches but having him as a jobber to the stars isn’t a bad idea. Storm continues to look like a star in the last few months and hopefully he gets the title at Lockdown as he should.

Video on Roode vs. Sting and their match at Victory Road.

Both Sting and Roode are in the ring for the contract signing. Both sign and then Roode has something to say. He remembers becoming the world champion and every day since then, Sting has been a thorn in his side. Twenty two years ago Sting won his first world title and had everything going for him. Now Sting is jealous of Roode because he sees himself 22 years ago but even better. Sting is always around stealing the spotlight from the younger guys and why?

Sting isn’t as young as he used to be and is getting older and slower. He wears face paint to hide what he sees because he knows he doesn’t have it anymore. This is all Roode talking in case that wasn’t clear. On Sunday, Roode is going to expose him for someone that should have left a long time ago.

Sting stands up and puts paint on his face but Roode says he’s not afraid of it. Now Sting puts the paint on Roode’s face and beats him up, destroying his knee in the process with kicks. He clotheslines Roode to the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This wasn’t much as its own show but it built up the PPV quite well. Now that being said, I’m not particularly interested in the show on Sunday. It couldn’t be more of a filler PPV before the major show in Lockdown anyway but that means it has no expectations, which usually tend to be better shows. It should be somewhat entertaining though.

Results
Madison Rayne b. Velvet Sky – Rollup with a handful of tights
Crimson b. Samoa Joe – Spear
Gail Kim b. Mickie James – Pin after a shot with the Knockouts Title Belt
Mr. Anderson b. Christopher Daniels – Mic Check
Kurt Angle vs. Garrett Bischoff went to a time limit draw
James Storm b. Gunner – Last Call

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 23, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

The interesting part of this show is that during the week since the last Impact, Sting sent out a tweet that read “I’m Done.” Now while it’s likely that this is just a storyline element for his presumed match with Roode at the PPV, it should be interesting to see where this goes. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of how Roode has cheated to keep the title every time.

Here’s Roode to open the show in an awesome looking suit. Roode talks about the tweet from Sting that says he’s done. Sting will be here tonight though to tell the world that he’s done. He talks about how Sting has been to war with guys like Luger, Flair, Vader and Hogan, but it was Roode that made Sting give up. The only thing he has to say to Sting is don’t let the door hit you on the way out. I liked this promo a lot.

Morgan yells at Crimson about spearing him to lose the titles. Crimson says it’ll be cool tonight.

Tag Titles: Crimson/Matt Morgan vs. Samoa Joe/Magnus

No break before the match which is a plus. The challengers jump the champs before the match and it’s Joe vs. Morgan to start. Off to Crimson vs. Magnus as Tenay plugs the MMA show that debuts after this. A running knee to the chest puts Magnus down and the overly complicated former finisher that he called the Red Alert gets two. Joe pulls Magnus out of the way so that Crimson hits the post as we take a break.

Back with Crimson’s comeback attempt being stopped by a rake to the eyes. A spinebuster puts Joe down though and is enough to bring in Magnus. Discus clothesline puts Joe down and it’s an old school double noggin knocker. Magnus gets a boot up in the corner but jumps into a spinning Rock Bottom for two. The challengers take over but again Crimson accidentally hits Morgan, this time with a clothesline. The champs hit their finishing combo for the pin at 9:00.

Rating: C. Hopefully this ends this feud and we can start up Morgan vs. Crimson so we can get Crimson on to something else. He’s been stuck with Morgan for months now and it’s not doing either of them any favors. It’s good that the tag champs keep the belts here too so they can go on and do something else. Decent match too so I can’t complain much here at all.

Here’s Brandon Jacobs, the running back from the Giants. He talks about being a Super Bowl Champion and being here with his friend James Storm last week. Then Bully Ray jumped him during the celebration. Well tonight he’s back and he wants another shot at Bully. His talking really isn’t that bad. He clearly isn’t used to talking but he gets the point across and doesn’t sound like he’s miserable being here.

Cue Ray who brags about being a 23 time champion as opposed to Jacobs’ one. Jacobs isn’t saying anything but the fans cheer his name. He invites Ray in so Ray yells at the fans some more. Ray teases coming down but stops to make fun of Jacobs’ yards in the Super Bowl. Jacobs says he’ll come get Ray. He gets out of the ring and Ray runs as we go to a break.

Back and Jacobs is still looking for Ray. He runs into Storm and Hardy. Storm whispers something to him and that’s that.

Zema Ion vs. Alex Shelley

Ion jumps Alex to start and sprays hairspray. Aries comes out with popcorn and wine to watch the show. Alex hits a sweet slingshot splash for two. Ion vs. Aries at Victory Road. Missile dropkick knocks Ion to the floor but he rams Shelley’s head into the apron to take over. Back in Alex hits a dragon screw leg whip and then he chops away. A clothesline puts Ion on the floor and Shelley hits a suicide dive. Ion puts the hairspray can into his tights and shoves Shelley almost into the ref. He sprays Alex in the eyes and a double knee Shining Wizard ends this at 3:56.

Rating: C. Not bad here but they’ve got an issue with the heel vs. heel title match that they’re going to have to do. That being said, it could actually work with Ion as he’s not really friends with Aries so it works out pretty well. It’s not going to be a classic or anything but it should be ok.

We recap Garrett/Hogan vs. Eric/Gunner from the PPV.

Garrett says he isn’t discouraged by what his dad said last week. Hogan questions if Garrett should keep going because Garrett has nothing to prove. It basically turns into Hogan saying your life will suck and Garrett saying he’ll keep going for a few minutes.

Madison says Sting hasn’t been fair to him so she hopes he’s gone. As for Gail, Madison being the #1 contender means nothing for their friendship.

Gail Kim vs. ODB

Eric is here with ODB. Gail implies she’s better looking than ODB and I can’t say I disagree. Eric gets up on the apron for a tag. ODB takes her down with a chest bump and Tenay talks about Chris Brown for some reason. There’s a bronco buster to Gail and a fall away slam. Gail tries to hold onto the ropes for mercy and manages to kick ODB in the head. Eric keeps trying to get in the ring because he’s crazy you see.

Now he’s on the apron and Gail hits kind of a running shoulder to the ribs in the corner for two. Gail hooks the Octopus Hold but ODB counters with a side slam. Madison comes out for no apparent reason as ODB takes a shot from the flask. A corner Thesz Press gets two but the Bam (TKO) is countered into Eat Defeat for the pin at 5:58.

Rating: D+. Not a bad match here but the story of “I love you even though I keep screwing things up” is getting a little boring. Then again they’re still miles ahead of the Divas so I can’t complain. Not to mention ODB didn’t help anything as she and Eric don’t amuse me at all. Hey they’re wacky and different. We get it already and we got it months ago.

AJ wants the world title.

Video on Jesse Sorensen who talks about what it was like when he couldn’t get up. His mom talks about how scared she was.

TV Title: AJ Styles vs. Robbie E

AJ is all serious again. He rams Robbie into the corners and hits a backbreaker to control early. He hooks the bridging Indian Deathlock with the chinlock but lets it go. Robbie crawls to the floor and hides behind Big Rob. Back in Robbie takes over and hits a Russian legsweep for two. Robbie beats on him a little more until AJ makes his comeback. There’s the dropkick and AJ hits the corner clothesline to set up a pumphandle backbreaker for two. Big Rob comes in to break up the Clash but doesn’t touch AJ so we keep going. Pele hits and here are Daniels and Kaz with Kaz interfering for the DQ at 4:52.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND HOLY GET AJ AWAY FROM THESE TWO ALREADY!!! We get it: Daniels hates AJ and always will. I’m even ok with it being AJ vs. Kaz but drop the Daniels aspect. They’ve done that feud so many times and I just do not care anymore.

Daniels looks shocked at what Kaz just did.

Jeff Hardy/James Storm vs. Bully Ray/Kurt Angle

Ray cuts off his big match intro and does it himself. Storm gets the crowd fired up pre match and brings out Jacobs to be in their corner. Storm and Angle start us off and James controls. Ray distracts him though and Angle gets in a shot to take over. Hardy comes in and Angle runs. Back from a break with Hardy gets two on Ray from the Whisper in the Wind. Hardy gets beaten down for awhile and we hear that AJ has demanded a gauntlet match with Kaz and Daniels.

Angle comes in and suplexes Hardy before he can get out. Back to Ray who gets caught by the mule kick and it’s off to Storm. He cleans house for a bit but Ray takes him down. They get a table but it gets kicked into their faces. The good guys try to set up a table but Ray and Angle make the save. Last Call out of nowhere takes Angle down and Jacobs gets in. They get in a three point stance and Storm hits Ray in the face. Jacobs chokeslams him through the table (good one too) and Storm gets the pin at 13:23. The referee is totally cool with this apparently.

Rating: C. I wasn’t wild on this one. I’m not wild on most main event tags though because they don’t really mean anything. Jacobs’ thing is hopefully over now but at least he came off pretty well here. I’m assuming it’ll be Hardy vs. Angle at Victory Road but it hasn’t been announced yet I don’t think.

Jacobs says Storm’s catchphrase to Ray and drinks some beer.

Here’s Sting for the announcement about him being done. He talks about how Roode has pushed him over the edge. Here’s Roode who says that Sting needs to admit to everyone that it was Roode that won the war. Sting says Roode didn’t win any war and there go the glasses. Sting says Roode helped him out and woke him up. He smears some black paint on his face and says that there’s no more half doing it and no more Mr. nice guy. He makes Sting vs. Roode at Victory Road and Roode is panicked. Roode goes to kick him low but Sting catches it and kicks Roode low instead.

Overall Rating: B. I have very few complaints about this show. They set up Sting vs. Roode at Victory Road among a few other matches on that show. Also the Jacobs thing was fine and there wasn’t a bad match on the whole show. This worked pretty well and was one of the better Impacts I can remember in awhile. Gee they got rid of Russo and things got better. Who would have guessed that?

Results
Magnus/Samoa Joe b. Crimson/Matt Morgan – Middle Rope Elbow To Morgan
Zima Ion b. Alex Shelley – Double Knee Shining Wizard
Gail Kim b. ODB – Eat Defeat
AJ Styles b. Robbie E via DQ when Kazarian interfered
James Storm/Jeff Hardy b. Bully Ray/Kurt Angle – Storm pinned Ray after a chokeslam from Brandon Jacobs

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 9, 2012
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Against All Odds and the final show in England. These shows are always fun because you get a much better crowd before we head back to Orlando on Sunday and the crowd that could put a Nick Bockwinkle promo to sleep. We’ll probably get a few more matches to flesh out the card tonight and remember there’s no Hardy due to travel issues. Let’s get to it.

Oh and it’s the Star Wars episode. This could mean ANYTHING.

We open with the Star Wars theme and shots of Qui-Gon Jin and Obi-Wan preparing to face droids. This is put together with hogan returning last week. We also talk about the four way a bit.

Here’s Ray to open the show who says he wants to talk to Bobby Roode and only Bobby Roode right now. Ray isn’t happy. Here’s Roode and Ray says cut his music. He meets Roode in the aisle and wants to know why Roode hasn’t had his back at all. Ray says he had Roode’s back against Storm but where was Roode for him? He says that Roode has the title because Ray has kept it on him.

Roode says he’s had Ray’s back and Ray says that’s true, but last time he put a knife in it. Bobby says their problems are both with Sting and here comes the scorpion enthusiast. Sting declares himself the special enforcer at the PPV and also, tonight it’s going to be the two of them against Storm and himself.

Hogan and Garrett arrive.

We recap the AJ/Daniels/Kaz story with Kaz being forced to turn on AJ due to some form of control that Daniels has over him.

Christopher Daniels vs. AJ Styles

These two must be approaching Sheik vs. Bobo Brazil lengths of a feud. Daniels jumps him quickly but AJ knocks him to the floor and hits a great flipping dive. Coming back in AJ dives over the top and almost gets the Styles Clash but Daniels kicks him away. Daniels tries to pull out a foreign object but the referee sees him trying it. Daniels throws it to Kaz which the referee misses. AJ gets knocked to the floor as Daniels takes over. Back in a clothesline gets two.

Daniels hooks what appears to be a nerve hold and the fans are split. AJ gets in an enziguri to put Daniels down. Christopher goes over to Kaz for the foreign object but Kaz doesn’t throw it in. Styles hits his moonsault into a reverse DDT and the springboard forearm. The Clash is countered again into a release Rock Bottom. BME misses but Daniels lands on his feet. Pele puts Daniels down but this time Kaz gives him the object. AJ tries to load up the Clash but as he pulls Daniels up, Daniels pops him with the knucks for the pin at 5:46.

Rating: B-. I really liked this match, probably a lot more than most AJ vs. Daniels matches. This feud has been done to death so if they have to do it again, I’m glad they’re adding in a new factor to it. The object was a fine little plot point to the match and it worked very well for this. Good match and far more entertaining than what they usually do in my eyes.

Gunner tells Bischoff he’ll protect him later.

Here are Joe and Magnus. Magnus talks about being back in the UK and how he has nothing against most parts of it. Tonight however, they’re not in Her Majesty’s UK. They’re in England. Tonight he’s come home and he’s brought his partner with him. A few months ago there was a Wild Card Tag Team Tournament and everyone said this wouldn’t work. However, they’ve proven everyone wrong. As for Morgan and Crimson, the only reason they’re a team is so they don’t have to face each other. At Against All Odds, they’ll win the titles.

Here are the champions and they say the time for talking is done. The champs clear the ring very quickly, running over Magnus and Joe as they have every time that it’s been on a level playing field. Joe pulls Magnus out before the double chokeslam takes him out.

Austin Aries vs. Doug Williams vs. Alex Shelley

This is non-title. Aries is sent to the floor so Williams and Shelley do their own thing for a few moments. Sliced Bread is countered and Williams goes after Shelley’s knee. Aries slides back as Shelley hits the floor. Doug dives on Shelley and Aries dives on Doug to put everyone down. Aries tries a superplex on Williams but Shelley comes back in and tries a Doomsday Device, but Aries escapes. Pendulum Elbow takes WAY too long to launch and Shelley moves. Chaos Theory to Shelley hits but Aries kicks Williams low to break it up. Shelley countered the brainbuster and hits Sliced Bread for the pin at 4:45.

Rating: C+. Fun match and it was a good way to have Shelley get momentum going into Sunday and his title shot. Williams is a guy you can bring in for something like this and it works well. They flew around the ring a bit and got the crowd going, which is what the cruiserweight style guys are supposed to do.

Hogan is talking to Garrett in the back when Sting comes in. Sting and Hogan are all cool and Hogan asks Garrett to step out for a minute. Hogan says Sting has a target on him and everyone is coming for him. If Sting needs Hulk’s help, he’ll have it. Sting says he likes the sound of that and Hogan says something is going to go down. The cameraman is thrown out before that gets explained.

Video of the fans talking about how much the love Impact.

Here’s a video from earlier today with Tara at the arena. She’s filming stuff when Gail comes in and beats her up. They go into the arena so as not to draw cops I suppose with Gail destroying her. She leaves Tara laying.

Quick video from Hogan talking about how TNA is this close to being the best in the world.

Here are Hulk and Garrett with Hulk talking about how these are the best fans in the world. Hogan talks about everything the fans have given to him over the years and how now he wants the fans to give all of that to Garrett now. And the fans just do not care one bit. There’s a canned pop and it still sounds weak. Hogan blames Eric for a lot of Garrett’s problems and here’s the papa now.

Eric and Gunner come out and Eric wants to know who Hogan thinks he is to get in Eric’s family business. Hogan says it’s not Eric’s time anymore. Eric says it’s not Hogan’s time anymore and that Hogan has no right to be here. Hogan says Eric doesn’t get it and that he has the Hulkamania Stroke around here. He talked to Sting and Hogan has booked Garrett vs. Gunner at the PPV. There’s more to it but Gunner and Garrett get into a fight. Eric hits Hogan low and down goes Garrett. Hogan gets up and clears the ring, still making Garrett look like a guy that is in way over his head and has to be saved. Garrett hits his dad and that’s about it.

Ray is mad at Roode and yells some more about Roode not having his back. Roode says they’ll be ok and wants a hug. Ray hugs him and says three days.

Hey it’s Hogan and Garrett again. Hulk says that they’ll put an end to Eric’s time in this business so Garrett can have a future. How exactly is Eric stopping that?

Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky

The announcers talk about Star Wars and Princess Leia in particular. The girls are a bit sloppy with Velvet barely holding onto a side roll. Mickie sends her into the corner and the fans are booing this somewhat. Headscissors puts Mickie down but she pops up and hits a low dropkick for two. Mickie hooks a seated abdominal stretch and the fans still don’t care. Velvet comes back and drives Mickie into both knees one at a time. Taz talks about pigeons and both girls reverse each others’ finishers. Velvet rolls Mickie up for the pin with a small package at 5:18.

Rating: D. This was a terrible match as both of them were missing things very rapidly. Also was there any point to this match being on the show? I can’t think of one other than to get hot women in the ring. That’s certainly good enough of a reason but it doesn’t do much for the sake of storylines.

Video on the UK tour so far.

Video on the PPV main event with all four of them talking about the match. There’s a ton of time left too.

Sting/James Storm vs. Bobby Roode/Bully Ray

Sting and Roode start us off and Sting quickly takes him down and puts on the Scorpion in less than two minutes. Ray comes in but Sting avoids the big boot. Off to Storm and the ring is cleared as we take a break. Back with Ray demanding Storm get in and here’s the Cowboy. The announcers talk about how there’s been no sign of Abyss since Genesis, which is a point I had forgotten about.

Storm takes over and winds up for awhile before poking Ray in the eye. Back to Sting as the dominance continues. The heels finally take over and work on the injured ribs of Storm. Roode comes in with a body vice and slams Storm into the mat before Storm can make the tag. Off to a bearhug which Storm breaks up with a poke to the eye. A Russian legsweep takes Ray down and it’s off to Sting vs. Roode.

He beats on Ray as well as house is cleaned. Both guys get splashes but a second to Roode misses. Sting calls on his memories with Flair and slams Roode off for two. Roode’s head goes onto Ray’s balls to send Ray to the outside. Spinebuster gets two on Sting but the fisherman’s suplex is countered. Death Drop puts Roode down and the Deathlock goes on. Ray looks to save but Ray say see you in three days. Roode taps at 15:14.

Rating: C. Yes, the world champion just tapped out clean to the part time wrestler/boss in the middle of the ring three days before a PPV. I’ve got nothing. I’m sure the TNA fanboys will explain to me how this is a brilliant move and foreshadows something or other, but I REALLY do not get who this benefits whatsoever. Was there a reason Storm couldn’t have gotten a pin here? Like ANY reason? I’m needing some help here because I don’t get it at all.

Overall Rating: B-. I really liked tonight’s show and it did a great job of building up Against All Odds. I still really don’t like the overpushing of Bischoff but that’s life in TNA anymore. The main event on Sunday is a pretty wide open field which is something you rarely get in wrestling anymore. Good show here and hopefully that means good things for Against All Odds on Sunday.  Also, thank goodness the Star Wars stuff didn’t mean anything.

Results
Christopher Daniels b. AJ Styles – Pin after Daniels hit Styles with brass knuckles
Alex Shelley b. Austin Aries and Doug Williams – Sliced Bread #2 to Aries
Velvet Sky b. Mickie James – Small Package
Sting/James Storm b. Bobby Roode/Bully Ray – Scorpion Deathlock to Roode

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 2, 2012
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

I was going to make a bunch of jokes about being in England tonight but I’ll try to find something funny to say instead. We have two shows in London before heading back to Orlando for Against All Odds on the 12th. I don’t think many matches have been announced officially yet but for the most part you can guess a lot of them which is fine. These shows outside of the Impact Zone are always interesting, so let’s get to it.

We open with a video of the fans who talk about how awesome wrestling is.

Hogan will be back tonight.

Roode and Ray open the show. The place looks great. Ray talks about how the fans aren’t going to see Hardy tonight because they took care of him last week. I think that was done because Hardy has visa issues due to the legal history. Roode says it’s great to be back in Ireland. He insists it’s not them that sucks and praises himself and Ray. I think the fans are chanting for D-Von.

Roode calls out Storm and here’s the Cowboy. Ray gets between them and there’s Sting’s music. The ring looks a lot smaller than usual. Sting says he talked to Hardy yesterday and Jeff will be back at Against All Odds. Sting announces the four way main event that I think we all knew was coming for the title at the PPV. As for tonight, Storm gets both of them in singles matches.

Garrett calls his trainer who will be here tonight.

Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. Crimson/Matt Morgan

Non-title here and it’s a Buckingham Brawl which is a new twist on things: there’s a coin flip to start and the winners get to be in the ring without having to tag, meaning it’s a handicap match in a way. Crimson starts and the numbers game starts up quick. The non-champions dominate for the opening minutes with a power/speed combination.

They set for their double team combination out of the corner but Crimson takes Joe down and Magnus jumps into a suplex. Hot tag brings in Morgan and everything breaks down. Crimson is sent to the floor and the Carbon Footprint misses in the corner. That allows Joe and Magnus to hit their finishing sequence on Morgan and the middle rope elbow gets the pin at 3:56.

Rating: C. Quick match but this was a good way to let Magnus/Joe get one up on the champs. Crimson and Morgan have beaten them I think twice now so why should we buy them having a real chance again? The rule twist was a nice addition and it lets the champs save some face. Decent match and the crowd was way into it.

Eric Bischoff is here.

Here’s Eric in the ring. A kid flips him off at ringside. Eric says he thought the British people were civilized. He says he’s here to burst the bubble of Garrett with a little dose of reality. Eric asks Garrett to come to the ring and then demands it. The arena is a very different setup as the entrance is on the hard camera side, making it almost like the old MSG setup for those of you familiar with it.

Garrett gets here and Eric tells him that no matter who is training him (remember that Eric knows who it is) it’s not going to matter because Garrett is never going to be good enough. Garrett asks why Eric doesn’t take it up with the trainer and Eric says that the trainer will never be here. The trainer (presumably) calls Garrett and Garrett doesn’t look that pleased. The trainer is here tonight and wants to speak with Eric.

Mark Haskins, a British guy that was in some X-Division series that was put on last year, talks about how he’s here to do whatever it takes to win. He says he’ll win the title.

Mark Haskins vs. Austin Aries

This is non-title I believe. The entire front row has its back to the ring for somer eason. Aries takes him to the mat and the fans still like Aries more than the hometown boy. Haskins is sent over the top but he skins the cat into a headscissors to take over. Aries skins the cat as well but Haskins dropkicks him down. Haskins sets for a plancha but Aries slides in. A springboard attempt is countered, resulting in Haskins being crotched.

A top rope shot to the floor takes him down even more and the fans are all for Aries. Back in and Haskins gets crotched again. A low dropkick misses and Haskins starts his comeback. A monkey flip puts Aries down but a second is countered. Haskins nips up and runs the ropes for a springboard crossbody. A cutter gets two on the champ.

Haskins goes up for a Shooting Star and lands Lesnar style, landing right on his head. Since he’s pretty much dead, Aries hits the brainbuster and holds onto him, flipping over to hook kind of a dragon sleeper hold but with Aries behind and under Haskins and pulling back on him for the tap at 4:45.

Rating: C+. Aside from the near neck breaking botch, this was a fun match. Haskins is fast but you would think he would get cheered in his hometown. I don’t know if that’s more praise for Aries or a bad thing about Haskins, although I’m leaning towards the former more than the latter. Good match though.

Eric Bischoff is yelling on the phone about getting a cab and Sting comes to bring him back inside.

James Storm vs. Bobby Roode

Feeling out process to start and Storm takes over. He takes Roode to the mat but the champ heads to the floor to avoid a Last Call. We take a break and come back with Storm hitting a facebuster but walking into a clothesline. There’s going to be a Star Wars Special next week. As long as it’s not the Holiday Special I’m all good with that. Spinebuster gets two. Storm comes back and they slug it out.

Roode goes up top but Storm gets in a big right hand to slow him down. Storm’s trunks have something that looks like the Brahma Bull on it. Storm snaps off a rana to send both guys down. Storm starts his real comeback and hits a Backstabber for no cover. Top rope elbow gets two.

Russian legsweep by Storm is countered into the Crossface but Storm rolls into the ropes. Roode sets for the Payoff but Storm counters into the Eye of the Storm but Roode counters as well. There’s the Payoff but it only gets two. Storm comes back with a Codebreaker to avoid a belt shot. He loads up the Last call but here’s Ray to break it up. That opening allows Roode to spear Storm for the pin at 13:50.

Rating: B-. If I never see another spear it’ll be too soon. This was a good match between two guys that should be facing each other for the title in a big time PPV program but that spot goes to Hardy because Storm never got high during a PPV and made the company look like a joke. Quite a good TV match though.

Post match Ray gives Storm a Rock Bottom onto the title belt. Sting makes the save.

Tara vs. Gail Kim

Tara is #1 contender but from what I can tell, this is non-title. Tara takes over to start and strips her top off for the standing moonsault. Gail takes over with some choking and a knee to the back for two. She hooks a leg lock by bending Tara’s leg over Gail’s neck then a clothesline gets two.

Mike thinks if Tara beats Gail here, it might be an advantage for her going into the rematch at the PPV. A missile dropkick misses for Gail and Tara hammers away. Powerslam (called a snap slam by Tenay) gets two but Rayne runs in for the…not DQ. She ran into Gail but it doesn’t count for some reason. Widow’s Peak ends this at 4:57.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but I really don’t get the theory here. What purpose did this serve? Why not have Rayne take the loss here rather than giving us the match ten days before its on PPV? I really don’t get this company’s thinking at times but then again, why bother trying to get people to buy the TV show when you can give the matches away for free?

Here’s Garrett to reveal the trainer but Eric comes out with Gunner. Eric talks some trash and to not a ton of shock, Hogan is the trainer. The fans of course love him because he’s an old school guy and if you’re loved once, you’re always loved. Hogan and Garrett beat Gunner up for a bit while Eric stands there. Gunner is knocked to the floor and Eric is terrified and runs. Of all the people that Hogan could give a rub to, they picked Garrett Bischoff?

Hogan and Garrett talk about how they’re coming for Eric.

Bully Ray vs. James Storm

This is Storm’s second match of the night and he has bad ribs. Ray works on the injury with some hard shots before draping Storm over the top. Off to a camel clutch for a few moments and then a slam. Here comes Roode and we take a break. Back with Sting coming to the ring with a cricket bat and Ray holding Storm in a bearhug.

Ray lets that go and hits a big boot followed by some elbow drops for two. A splash gets the same. The middle rope backsplash misses and Storm starts his comeback. He wins a nice countering sequence on the apron and a middle rope cross body gets two. Ray tries to grab Storm but gets knocked into the referee. Sting chases Roode out of the ring and the Last Call beats Ray clean at 14:00.

Rating: C+. Not as good as earlier but it was nice to see someone using basic psychology here like Ray was doing. Storm getting a win keeps him strong which is something he needed going into the PPV. Not a great match or anything but Ray has really impressed me in his singles run.

Overall Rating: B. This was pretty good here as the pretty strong string of non-Orlando shows continues. This moved us towards the PPV and gave us a big development in the Bischoff feud. Now if you don’t care for the Bischoff feud or the main event, this wasn’t the show for you because that was the majority of the focus tonight. Hogan being back isn’t a bad thing but hopefully he actually gives someone a rub for a change. That talk of a Star Wars show next week though scares me.

Results
Magnus/Samoa Joe b. Crimson/Matt Morgan – Middle rope elbow to Morgan
Austin Aries b. Mark Haskins – Reverse Dragon Sleeper
Bobby Roode b. James Storm – Spear
Tara b. Gail Kim – Widow’s Peak
James Storm b. Bully Ray – Last Call

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Impact Wrestling
Date: January 26, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Back to Orlando for another week of shows, but after this (next week I believe) they’re off to England. Anyway, we now don’t have a number one contender because of the interference last week. This is probably setting up a triple threat or a fatal fourway at the PPV, which isn’t what I’m wanting but it’s probably going to happen and that’s ok. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the whole issue from last week and how we have no #1 contender.

Jeff is beating up Ray in the back and rams him into a table a few times. Jeff chokes him with a broom and the fight keeps going. The cameraman chases after him and Ray gets in some weak shots. They go through a door and Hardy keeps beating him up. A white truck pulls up with Roode in it and he saves Ray by ramming Jeff into a sign. Ray gets a wooden pallet but opts for some metal thing instead. He drops the pallet on Jeff’s leg and then does it again. They throw him in the truck but Storm comes in for the save but is beaten down as well. Sting eventually chases everyone off. The sight of him sans paint scared them.

Velvet Sky vs. Mickie James vs. Tara

The winner gets Gail at Against All Odds. Tara uses the Matrish to avoid a clothesline so it hits Velvet. We get into the standard formula of two fight while the third is down. Tara and Mickie do most of the fighting as we take a break. Back with Velvet monkey flipping Tara but Mickie breaks up whatever she was trying with a neckbreaker on Sky. Velvet knocks them both down, then Mickie knocks them both down. Thesz Press gets two on Velvet and a spinning kick gets the same on Tara. Velvet breaks up the jumping DDT and Tara hits the spinning side slam on Velvet onto Mickie (as in Sky landed on Mickie) for the pin at 9:37.

Rating: D. I think I’m getting very biased against women’s wrestling, but I just do not care at all about it. It’s whoever is hot at the moment and that’s about it. It’s not like people really care about it but they get a ton of time anyway. I don’t get it but there’s no way around it. Either way, weak match here but Tara vs. Gail could be good.

Gail says bring it.

We see highlights of the opening brawl earlier.

Here are Sting, Storm and Hardy to no music. He asks for Roode and Ray to get out here and the fight continues. Sting holds the good guys back with the bat and tries to calm things down. He gets them apart and says stay on one side. They fight again and eventually it’s made into a tag team tables match for later. That would be better if it wasn’t announced in the clip before the show started.

Shelley is facing Zema Ion and if he wins he gets the shot at Aries at Against All Odds.

Eric Young is getting ready and thinks a stagehand is Sammy Davis Jr. Angelina and Winter come up and imply sex. And they Love hits him low but he’s wearing a cup.

Zema Ion vs. Alex Shelley

Shelley takes over to start and gets a rollup for two. Zema beats him into the corner and doesn’t want this on cameras. He comes out of the corner with a spinning body press for two. Reverse powerbomb by Shelley and a powerbomb puts Ion on the floor. They fly around a bit and Ion sets for the 450 but Shelley moves and Sliced Bread ends this at 4:26.

Rating: C. This was a standard cruiserweight match and that’s about it. Shelley is fun to watch but ever since they’ve changed the weight limit, the title feels very secondary and the matches and feuds have felt like filler instead of something that I should care about. Such is life in a company run by Bischoff and Hogan.

AJ says that this business has changed everyone and tonight, he’s finding out why Kaz is Daniels’ puppet.

Tara says she’ll be training harder than ever and can beat Gail.

Earlier today, Eric went to Garrett’s gym to find out who the trainer is. Eric goes in and sees who it is but sends the trainer away. He was freaked out by it.

Winter/Angelina Love vs. ODB/Eric Young

Eric locks up with the referee who winds up on the apron and is then brought in. Now he tags in Eric and gets locked up with. Mike calls this the Harlem Globetrotters of wrestling. I’ve seen the Harlem Globetrotters. Eric Young is no Globetrotter. Over two minutes in and no contact yet. Winter finally hits him so Eric strips. ODB finally comes in and I’ve never been happier to see her in my life.

A Bronco Buster is messed up and Angelina takes over a few seconds later. Off to Winter who puts her in the Tree of Woe which is an image I don’t need. ODB gets in a shot and Eric throws in the flask for….another shot I guess. There’s the fallaway slam and nip up. Far too much of this match has been spent showing her underwear. Eric comes in and we get stereo airplane spins. TKO ends Angelina at 7:00.

Rating: F. I know Eric Young is popular. I get that, but my goodness I’m not a fan of him at all. This got seven minutes which is a lot of time that could have been used for someone else. Also, there was far too much of ODB taking her clothes off.

Ray and Roode fire each other up for the match later.

Video on the tag title feud with Joe/Magnus challenging the champs.

Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan

Joe strikes him into the corner to start but Morgan uses the power of choking and chopping to come back. Morgan plays to the crowd with the elbows but gets caught in the choke. He breaks it quickly and beats on Joe even more. Clothesline gets two. Joe gets a boot up in the corner and a middle rope leg lariat gives him control.

A running charge in the corner and a kick to the head get two. Morgan takes over again and hits some clotheslines. A side slam gets two. Hellevator takes too long to set up so Joe kicks him down and a backsplash gets two. Morgan gets back up and hits a discus clothesline for….three? Mike sounds just as surprised as I am but it got the pin at 4:48.

Rating: C-. This was just ok. It still amazes me how far Joe has fallen in just a few years. He’s floated from random feud to random feud for years now and I still am not clear as to why that’s happened. This feud continues the theory that tag wrestling is done in this country, at least for the time being.

The champs get beaten down with Morgan taking the double team finisher from Magnus and Joe.

Hardy and Storm say they’ll win with a boom.

AJ wants to get to the bottom of this with Kaz and knows Daniels is pulling the strings. Here are Daniels and Kaz and the latter can’t talk to AJ. Daniels talks about how AJ is always throwing a tantrum about something or other. He says Kaz doesn’t owe AJ a thing. AJ goes to the floor but Daniels and Kaz backpedal. Daniels calls AJ a thug so AJ says he’ll turn around and let Kaz take his head off.

Kaz goes to leave but Daniels directs him to go do it. He goes to the apron and can’t do it. Daniels goes in and AJ knocks him to the floor with ease. AJ says Kaz can get in here right now and shake his hand and we’ll forget all this. The idiots at the Impact Zone count for some reason as Kaz gets in. AJ sticks out his hand but Daniels says Kaz isn’t going to do that so he gets out. Daniels says he’s had it and says he’s going to propose AJ vs. Kaz.

Jeff Hardy/James Storm vs. Bobby Roode/Bully Ray

Tables match. They manage to stay calm during the big match intros. SO Sting with a ball bat isn’t enough to keep them apart but Jeremy Borash is? Weird company man. Beer Money explodes on a table as Ray tries to suplex Hardy through one, only for Jeff to hang onto the ropes with his feet. This is all on the floor. Storm spits beer in Roode’s face. Ray takes over on Hardy but Storm makes the save. We take a break with Ray taking a water bottle to the head.

Back with Ray hitting Hardy with a chair. Hardy slingshots Ray into a post and a table is sent into the ring. Storm and Hardy try to suplex Roode through the table but Ray moves the table then takes them both down. It’s one person going through the table to end it. Roode comes back and stomps Storm to the floor so it’s Roode and Hardy in the ring now.

A table is set up in the corner and Hardy is almost able to send Roode through it but Ray makes the save. Ray tries a big boot through Hardy through the table but Jeff moves, leaving a hole in the table. Codebreaker takes Ray out but a spinebuster takes out Storm. Ray puts Hardy’s head against the post and punches it for awhile.

Storm goes into the steps and Hardy is put on the table in the ring. Ray goes up but Storm kicks him down. Now Storm goes up and Roode loads up a superplex through the table but Jeff moves. Hardy pulls Roode down and hits a Twist so he can put Roode on the table. Storm elbows Roode through it to win at 14:00.

Rating: C+. Not a bad table match and it was pretty fun on top of that. I’d assume this will wind up being a fourway for the title which is fine and would be a good way to shift it over to Hardy. This was a fun way to end the show as table matches are always popular for some reason that I’ve never quite gotten.

Post match, Ray destroys the winners with a chair and Hardy is powerbombed through a table.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m not a fan of TNA lately. The stories are all there and mostly make sense, but nothing they’re doing is grabbing me. Pretty much it’s “this happens then this happens which leads us to this.” That’s fine, but it’s not going to get people excited about things. It’s not a bad show at all but it really isn’t all that interesting. I couldn’t get into it all night and was just wanting it to end, which isn’t a good thing.

Results
Tara b. Mickie James and Velvet Sky – Pinned James after a spinning side slam to Sky
Alex Shelley b. Zema Ion – Sliced Bread #2
ODB/Eric Young b. Angelina Love/Winter – TKO to Love
Matt Morgan b. Samoa Joe – Discus Clothesline
Jeff Hardy/James Storm b. Robert Roode/Bully Ray – Storm put Roode through a table

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Impact Wrestling
Date: December 22, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re back with week #2 of the wild card tournament but at least now we know who almost all of the wacky partners are. The show last week was pretty ok so hopefully they crank it up a bit more this week as the year comes to a close. We’ve got I think three more Impacts before the PPV where it’s pretty likely that Jeff gets the title back. Oh and the Jarretts are gone at the moment. Let’s get to it.

The opening video recaps last week which is the norm now.

Here are Roode and Ray to open the show. Roode is in a suit and to be fair, he’s rocking that thing. He says he loves Christmas and the fans can all thank him for the gifts they got last week. Sting and Hardy getting beaten up was great and all they needed were bows on them. Ray talks about how giving he is: he gives chicken bones to the homeless, he gives dollars to strippers and he gives whiskey to his cat.

Roode talks about learning that every action has a consequence. Lately he’s learned that he’s probably on the naughty lists of both Sting and Santa. He asks Sting to come out here and get his suspension over with because he needs time off for Christmas. Instead he gets Hardy. Don’t worry about the suspension because in three weeks, Hardy is taking the title. Tonight it’s the two of them against Hardy and a partner of his choice. This would be a little more suspenseful if they hadn’t mentioned this in the preview before the show. Of course it’s Sting. Here he is and he has the insane face paint on again.

The main event tag is officially a street fight.

Wildcard Tag Tournament First Round: AJ Styles/Kazarian vs. Rob Van Dam/Christopher Daniels

And remember, the teams are RANDOM! I mean, no one would take rivals and put them against stable mates. That would be STUPID! Tenay says Fourtune is officially defunct. Kaz vs. Van Dam to start us off. They hit the mat quickly and it’s off to AJ. Daniels wants him but Van Dam says he’s mine.

After some basic stuff it’s back to Kaz who seems to have better chemistry with RVD. Monkey flip by Rob sets up a headlock by Kaz. Back to AJ and Van Dam goes to the corner. He rams into Daniels and that counts as a tag. Daniels comes in and misses AJ, allowing the tag to Kaz. Van Dam slaps Daniels into the Fade To Black for the pin at 5:18.

Rating: D+. Basic but fine here and that’s all it needed to be. Thankfully they didn’t push Van Dam and Daniels as a team that lucks its way into the second round. Either way, this was ok but it wasn’t anything special. That goes for a lot of first round tournament matches most of the time though so there isn’t much to complain about there.

Anthony Nese says he’s awesome and can hang with anyone.

Zema Ion says he’s pretty.

Zema Ion vs. Anthony Nese

This is the second match in the best of three series with Ion up 1-0. Ion has hairspray so you know he’s a heel. The winner of this is in a four way against Aries, Kash and Sorensen. Ion dives through the ropes to take Nese out with a dropkick before the bell. Back in Nese snaps off a rana for two. Cross body gets the same. Ion gets in a shot but Nese fights back and hits a Lionsault for two.

The American hits a German on the Filipino for two. Nese misses a springboard body block for two and Ion takes over again. Nese jumps from the mat to the top for a super rana for two. Ion hits a spinning facebuster but pulls Nese up like he did last week. Naturally it allows Nese to nip up into a rollup for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: C+. Not bad but the problem is the lack of any reason to care about these guys or the match they had. Nese is a generic face and Ion is a generic heel. The match was fine and they did some good stuff, but I’ve seen a match like this a thousand times and I’ve seen it better a few hundred times. That’s the problem with these cruiserweight matches: it’s REALLY hard to top them and when they’re average, they look weak.

Madison Rayne is in a referee dress and says Karen put her in charge of the Knockouts.

Pope says he’s there for people when they need him. What D-Von didn’t get is that Pope is a better trainer than he is so let him train. He’ll always be pimping too. D-Von vs. Pope at Genesis again. D-Von comes in and grabs him but one of his kids hits him in the back. Pope calls them his boys.

Eric Young and D-Von are on a date because they’re in the wild card tournament together. One of their opponents is Shannon Moore and Eric locks up with a referee.

Here’s Madison and she calls out Tara and Tessmacher. She shouts a lot and the fans chant what sounds like USA. Madison repeats that she’s the head of the Knockouts which surprises Mike and Taz, even though she said it earlier. Her job is to destroy the Knockouts and she’s starting with the two of them. Their closeness makes her sick so they’re fighting each other tonight and she’s the referee.

Brooke Tessmacher vs. Tara

And it’s a comedy match. They do the slowest wristlock this side of Delirious and Tara shouts ouchie. They trade some very weak covers and this is kind of amusing. The limited wrestling turns into talking and even the Impact Zone is silent. They finally get into a fight and Madison won’t count due to reasons of waving. Madison shouts at them to hit someone so they hit her. And then the Tebow it. Ok then. It ran about 6 minutes but there wasn’t exactly an ending point.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t exactly a wrestling match. I’m not sure what it was but the girls were hot so I’ll let it go.

Sting and Hardy say they’ll win.

Eric looks for a gift to give ODB and looks through the kitchen of the restaurant.

Here’s Storm to FINALLY give us something interesting. He says that Angle is looking for him but Storm will either be in the bar or in the ring. Angle gave him a beating but Storm won in the end. He makes football references and drops Tebow’s name. Angle pops up on the screen and is in Storm’s hometown. He insults a woman and that’s about it.

Ray says he and Roode will win.

Wildcard Tag Tournament First Round: Eric Young/ODB vs. Anarquia/Shannon Moore

Young vs. Anarquia to start us up and Eric dances a lot. Young locks up with the Mexican America chicks outside and then disrobes. Anarquia comes in and slams Eric. It’s off to ODB and Moore bails. ODB kind of slams him and Eric hits a top rope elbow. A low blow by ODB gets the pin at 4:36.

Rating: F. What. Ever. Man. I’m so over Eric and his unfunny comedy but TNA insists we need to see it time after time on every show.

Matt Morgan and Crimson recap the tag tournament. They don’t take it seriously it seems.

Angle beats up people in Tennessee. He pulls out a freaking cap gun and hits someone in the head with it. He superkicks a lot of them after standing them up in a line. Angle even throws the Christmas tree at someone. He challenges Storm for Genesis.

Bully Ray/Bobby Roode vs. Sting/Jeff Hardy

This is a street fight and they have a ton of time. I wonder if Sting vs. Ray is going to happen at Genesis. Probably not. Those two head to the floor and Roode takes over in the ring on Hardy. They go split screen for a bit but the painted guys clear the ring. STEREO DIVES take the heels out. Sting diving like that was pretty awesome. That takes us to a break.

Back with more violence and the bad guys in trouble. Ray hits Hardy with a kendo stick to the back and does the same to Sting. We get the dreaded cookie sheet and Ray takes over on Sting. Sting fights back and hits a superplex to take Ray down. He’s showing off tonight. Roode comes in to beat down the guy with the full facepaint (Sting) but Sting comes back again. He loads up the splash but Ray hits him with part of a wooden sign to break it up.

Ray drops an elbow for two. Hardy hasn’t been focused on in this match very much. Ray and Roode set for something but Sting ducks so Ray clotheslines Roode. Death Drop to Ray but Sting walks into a spinebuster. Hardy comes in and takes out Roode but Ray kicks his head off. Ray gets the table but Sting moves it before Hardy can go through it. He cleans house and hooks the Scorpion on Ray (who taps but it doesn’t count) and puts Roode down with a Death Drop. Another table is set up and Hardy splashes Roode through it for the pin at 18:20.

Rating: B. This knew that it was supposed to be an over the top and fun brawl and that’s what it was. There wasn’t really anything all that significant going on here but it did the job in giving Hardy the pin over Roode. Also it gave Sting a chance to look awesome as he’s limited in the ring anymore and that’s fine. Fun match and a good way to close the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I don’t want to say this show was bad, because it really wasn’t. It was however pretty meh. It came off a lot like Raw on Monday as a throwaway show, and for the most part I’m ok with that. However, stuff like the Knockouts and Eric Young got really old really fast. The main event was fun and there was kind of an energy to the show that helped it, but not one of their better episodes. Still though, it’s a holiday kind of show so taking things less seriously might be a good idea.

Results
Kazarian/AJ Styles b. Rob Van Dam/Christopher Daniels – Fade To Black to Daniels
Anthony Nese b. Zema Ion – Rollup
Tara vs. Brooke Tessmacher went to a no contest
Eric Young/ODB b. Anarquia/Shannon Moore – Low blow to Anarquia
Jeff Hardy/Sting b. Robert Roode/Bully Ray – Splash through a table to Roode

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Impact Wrestling
Date: October 20, 2011
Location: Impact Wrestling Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the show after Bound For Glory and a few things have changed. First and foremost, Hogan is a face now, having turned after a year of being the top heel in the company. Also we have the same world champion in the form of Angle who was hurt going into the match and for some reason they didn’t put the title on Roode….uh….because he wasn’t ready or something? Clearly that’s their new policy on new champions and won’t be changed at all tonight right? Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the last year leading up to Hogan’s face turn at BFG.

Here’s Sting to open the show as we hear about how much of a betrayal it was for Bischoff’s son to turn on him. Sting is sane again. He talks about how this was about getting Hogan back instead of staying with what we had for the last year. He calls out Hogan because the fans want to see him and here’s the old bald dude himself, now in yellow and red.

Hogan and Sting hug because 15 years of feuding can be solved by one match or something. Hogan admits he’s been wrong and thanks the fans. He’s had a few rough years and he became a follower instead of a leader. He’s been following Bischoff’s lead instead of leading things and now he realizes how wrong Eric was. Hulk takes the blame himself and says it wasn’t Eric’s fault. Heaven forbid we have a heel come off looking evil I guess.

He talks about how he saw Immortal as a pack of wolves and saw the light to make the save. So he had a soul changing moment all of a sudden? Well that’s an explanation at least. Hogan calls Sting the true icon and shakes his hand a bunch before leaving. Sting says Hogan still has it and then calls out Dixie Carter, who still has her own theme song on standby.

After a break Dixie is in the ring to thank Sting. Sting says it’s a day to remember and to celebrate. He also mentions that Dixie wouldn’t listen to him 18 months ago and she got burned because of it. However, it’s all cool because he loves it here and Dixie is going to look out for the fans and this is her second chance. Dixie apologizes to Sting about Hogan and Bischoff. She says she doesn’t belong in the ring and needs to be at headquarters. Because of that, she’s giving Sting the day-to-day authority in Impact Wrestling. So Sting is the new GM? That could work. Sting accepts.

They hug in the ring but a 20 minute segment isn’t long enough. Here’s Kurt who somehow still has the title. For the life of me I don’t get this company at times. After another break Angle calls them superheroes and blames Dixie for his own heel turn. Angle says he’s still champion but Sting is always talking about Bobby Roode. At BFG he made Roode look like a loser and he’s the better man.

That brings out Roode who yells at Angle because of the shaky finish to the title match. He blames Kurt for cheating at the PPV and saying it was bull. That was Roode’s night and he messed it up. If you believe the internet, it was Hogan that messed it up but who’s counting? The fans chant rematch and Sting likes that idea. Sting makes the rematch but Angle plays the Lee Corso card with a not so fast my friend.

The contract says Angle had to face Roode once and only once so there’s no rematch tonight. Angle wants to know what Roode’s partner’s catchphrase is and that brings out James Storm. After break #3, Storm is in the ring and wants a title shot as well. Angle screwed the company, the fans and Roode at the PPV. That means Angle screwed Storm as well and that doesn’t work. Sting however can fix that. Since the fans want a title match tonight, maybe Storm should get one. Angle cuts him off, saying there are ten guys in front of him. That’s very true. Sting makes the match anyway because logic means nothing in TNA.

Time of that very long segment: 40 minutes.

We jump to the back and Eric and Immortal come up to Hogan. Eric calls back the dogs and says they want something to go down in the ring tonight. Eric wants to meet Hogan in the ring tonight, one on one.

During the break, something occurs to me: didn’t Sting say that the REAL Hogan was the one that wanted to take over TNA last summer? Now the REAL Hogan is the good guy? I don’t think we’re supposed to remember that.

Knockout Tag Titles: Winter/Angelina Love vs. Tara/Brooke Tessmacher

Winter and Angelina break up Tessmacher’s shirt tear and the double team is on. We officially start with Angelina vs. Tessmacher. Tessmacher is messed up because of the beatdown and the challengers both beat her down. After a few minutes of beating, Angelina misses a middle rope crossbody and it’s a double tag to Winter and Tara. Spinning side slam gets two. Everything breaks down and Tessmacher gets the pin on Winter with a top rope crossbody at 3:40.

Rating: C. This was fine, mainly due to large implants flying around and them keeping things short. Tessmacher still can’t do much in the ring but she’s improved a lot. She’d still be better at just being a sex object but most of the girls would be other than like two of them. This was nothing to see but for a quick Knockout tag, this wasn’t too bad.

Here are the Jarretts and Jeff calls out Hardy. For the sake of sanity, Jeff Jarrett will be called Jeff and Jeff Hardy will be called Hardy. Jeff talks about how Hardy has screwed up before and he’ll do it again. He says Hardy can leave tonight or he has to face Jeff. I’ll give Jeff this: he’s always ready to fight. Hardy says the fans want him here and it eats Jeff up. He’ll never light up a crowd like Hardy can and that brings about the brawl. They do the pull apart stuff like they did at the PPV. Agents come out and D’Lo Brown and Al Snow get into an argument for no apparent reason. Jeff gets in a low blow and Hardy is left laying.

Angle says he’ll keep the title tonight because he’s Kurt Angle.

We get some stills of Bischoff beating up his son on Sunday.

Eric Young wants to do a calendar photo shoot but Robbie E and Rob Terry come up. Has this been mentioned in months? Eric makes fun of Big Rob, calling him Conan the Barbarian. He calls himself a fighting champion and I begin to laugh. Eric says Robbie E can have a title shot and we’re told that Ronnie from Jersey Shore will be coming here. Oh good grief.

Abyss vs. Gunner

Gunner says that Immortal needs to prove they’re still on top so he’s fighting Abyss for Immortal tonight. Brawl to start and Gunner tries to run. Out to the floor and Gunner goes into the steps. They go back in and Gunner runs away for a countout at 1:50.

Velvet is going to thank the fans next.

Gunner says Immortal needs Abyss back and sounds scared of Abyss. Eric and company say they’re not worried. They’ll take care of Hogan first though.

We get a video about Velvet overcoming the odds because she was bullied as a kid. I don’t know what high school you went to, but girls that looked like her who were jocks weren’t bullied.

Velvet is in the ring now and holds up the belt, saying how awesome it is to finally be champion. She talks about the bullying thing again but says it was all worth it in the end. This brings out Karen and Traci and Karen yells a lot. She says she’s the Knockouts Boss and it would be boring if she just fired them both. Karen calls out security to get rid of Traci and it’s just the two of them left. She gets in Velvet’s face and threatens to strip her of the title but Jeff told her that wouldn’t be very fun. Karen wants the putting in her place to be physical.

She says she knows the perfect person to do it and says Velvet needs eyes in the back of her head. Since Velvet is a face and therefore an idiot, Madison Rayne comes out to the stage and Velvet looks at her as Gail Kim returns through the crowd and beats up Velvet. They both beat Velvet down and stand tall.

More clips from BFG.

Here’s Immortal and Bischoff will be doing the talking. He says that he’ll deal with his son later and calls out Hogan. Hogan’s music is playing before Bischoff is done talking. Eric says he’s got a lot to say so hopefully Hogan packed a lunch. He wants to know how Hogan can dare turn on these guys after they protected him for 18 months. We’ll ignore the storyline issues with that for the sake of sanity. Eric talks about how he’s the man that made Hogan who he is today. Well that’s true. Hogan is a much weaker star today than he was in the 80s.

The real problem though is that Hogan got in Bischoff’s son’s ear and stopped Eric’s son from becoming like his father. Hogan says that he’s learned a lot in the past few days and part of that is that Bischoff’s son is more of a man than Bischoff. Immortal is at ringside and Bischoff tries to hit Hogan. That fails so Hogan points at him. Here’s Immortal but they don’t attatck him. Sting slides in with a pair of ball bats and Immortal (all three of them) run.

Bischoff backs up the ramp but his son is behind him. He says how dare you Hogan but backs into his son. Eric yells at him and the son calls him a disgrace. He rips his son’s shirt open and reveals a Bischoff tattoo on his chest. Eric says his son doesn’t deserve that name anymore and gets drilled for it. He gives Hulk and Sting a thumbs up. So…what’s the payoff to this? I mean, how can this go anywhere since he’s not a wrestler and neither is his dad?

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. James Storm

The bell is ringing at 10:55 so this is going to be short. Angle pounds him down in the corner but brags too much. He walks into a superkick and Storm is champion at 1:20. Well they can’t make it much more definitive than that.

Roode comes out to celebrate and is quickly followed by the rest of Fourtune. Storm goes into the crowd to celebrate.

Storm comes back for the celebration and says this is great. He hands Roode the belt because it belongs to him. Roode takes it and wraps it around Storm’s waist. Fourtune stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t into this show. There was way too much talking, but I can understand wanting to focus on storylines a lot. That’s fine, but with a huge twist at the end the show felt like one big angle instead of a TV show. I can live with that once in awhile, but if it becomes the norm this show is in trouble. Anyway, things have certainly changed, although I have a lot of questions about a lot of things, and that’s not really a good thing. As for the title change, as usual with TNA: I think I like the end results but I’m not wild about how they got there.

Results
Tara/Brooke Tessmacher b. Angelina Love/Winter – Top rope crossbody to Winter
Abyss b. Gunner via countout
James Storm b. Kurt Angle – Superkick

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Impact Wrestling
Date: October 6, 2011
Location: Knoxville Civic Auditorium, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re in Knoxville now (if that wasn’t clear before) and it’s Hulk Hogan’s retirement announcement. Why do I have a feeling that may not be legit after last year’s hospital ordeal. Anyway, we have two more shows before BFG so I’m sure Bobby Roode still respects Kurt a lot and that he’s the next world champ. If you’re not sure, just listen and I’m sure you’ll hear it a few dozen times tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Beer Money to open the show. Roode finishes the Fourtune gauntlet tonight and they’re in the semi main event. Storm isn’t happy with this because Hogan is taking the spot from them. It’s time for Hogan to retire. Roode talks about facing the other members of Fourtune and needing to beat them to get here. He needs Storm at his best for the sake of getting him ready for Angle. Storm will do that later and tonight he might be a little better than Roode.

Sting is here in a red jacket and a Hogan t-shirt.

Since it’s Hogan’s big nights, we look back at Hogan moments in Impact Wrestling. First up: Hogan arrives on January 4, 2010.

Kazarian vs. Gunner

This is fallout from last week with Traci’s pull apart brawl and Gunner laying out Kaz. They fight over the arm and Kaz’s goes into the post. Back in Gunner works on the arm for a bit but Kaz takes the leg out to take over for all of a second. Kaz’s arm goes into the post again, setting up an armbar for the tap at 4:12. That came out of nowhere but I kind of like it….I think. And never mind as Gunner hits him just a tiny bit more and it’s reversed to a DQ.

Rating: C-. No idea what the point of this was although it was cool to see a feud/story go from one week to another. The ending was kind of strange though because it came out of nowhere. It made sense from an injury standpoint as Kaz had his arm worked on for a bit before the tap, but it looked like a regular armbar/wristlock. I don’t get it, nor do I get the point of the post match DQ.

Here’s Anderson to apologize to the people who mean the most to him: his anal openings known as fans. He’s worked for his whole life to get here and isn’t sure what he was thinking when he joined Immortal. He mentions Ray and here he is. They talk about how Ray keeps using weapons to beat him down (“Overcompensating with the chain?) and Ray says Anderson doesn’t get another match. Anderson challenges him to a Philadelphia Falls Count Anywhere match. Wasn’t that already set up?

Roode and Storm are getting ready.

Eric gets here and isn’t happy about the Hogan announcement. They’ve worked together for years and it ends tonight.

Kendrick talks about how Aries has weaknesses and he can exploit them. It’s your usual insane stuff. He insults Kid Kash and here’s Kash to retort with his fists.

Mickie James/Velvet Sky vs. Winter/Madison Rayne

Mickie vs. Winter to start and it’s off to Madison quickly. Kaz is going to the hospital. Velvet comes in and doesn’t so much so it’s off to Mickie again to beat up Winter. A Thesz Press sets up a neckbreaker which sets up a rana which sets up a two. Angelina’s cheating gets two for Winter. After some uninspired stuff, Velvet comes in and cleans house with a modified X Factor which doesn’t look that good. Angelina grabs the wrong chick’s leg and Winter gets in trouble. Not that it matters anyway as Madison rolls up Velvet with the tights at 4:41 for the pin.

Rating: D+. So what was the point of the leg trip exactly? If you’re going to have Angelina screw up, shouldn’t it lead to it ending badly? The Knockouts are better than the Divas but that’s still not saying much. I do kind of like the sexiness of the Knockouts more but it’s not exactly the best it’s ever been. Nothing to see here but it had all four chicks for BFG in the same match so points for that.

Jeff Hardy is here. AND HE HAS SLEEVES!!!

Remember the one time Hogan wrestled on Impact?

Angle is worried about Jeff and Eric says chill. Angle says cool.

Here’s Eric and he calls out Jeff Hardy. He talks about how he’s been in the business for 25 years and he’s never dropped the ball. I guess we’re overlooking WCW and their huge lead. Anyway Jeff has turned dropping the ball into an art form. Jeff has been looking for another chance but Eric says Jeff is out of chances with him. Eric says Jeff is done so here’s a Twist of Fate for Uncle Eric. He shouts Screw You and Immortal chases him off.

Jeff is still here.

Hogan throwing Dixie out is another moment.

Samoa Joe vs. Crimson

They fight to the corner quickly with Joe taking an early advantage. Off to a cravate which doesn’t get Crimson much of anywhere. They go to the floor and Joe gets in a shot to the leg/ankle that he injured on Crimson a few weeks ago. Joe works over the leg for awhile and then it’s back inside. A leg sweep takes Crimson down and here’s a leg lock that isn’t quite a heel hook according to Taz. Crimson grabs a small package out of nowhere for the pin at 5:13.

Rating: C-. This was more of a brawl than a match but I’m not sure what it solves if anything. Joe still can’t win anything and Crimson continues to win without looking dominant. Not much here but I’ve seen worse. It’ll likely be a three way at BFG with Morgan being thrown in.

Ray tries to talk down Philly to make sure he’s a heel in Philly.

Long video on Roode getting ready for BFG.

James Storm vs. Robert Roode

Face vs. face here and partner vs. partner so you know the respect is way turned up. They feel each other out a lot and Roode controls with a headlock. Storm grabs the arm but gets caught in another headlock. Very technical stuff so far. They hit the ropes and Roode avoids a super kick and takes Storm down with an arm drag. The Fujiwara is avoided and we take a break.

Back with more back and forth stuff. Daniels vs. AJ will be I Quit for no apparent reason. They start slugging it out and Storm is fighting more like a heel than he usually does. Blockbuster gets two. Roode gets sent to the apron so Storm challens his inner Orton with an elevated DDT for two. Back in the spinebuster gets two for Roode. The idea is Storm is getting frustrated while Roode is staying calm.

After Roode gets crotched Storm hooks a superplex for a very long two. Superkick is countered into the Crossface but Storm rolls into the ropes. So I guess Storm > HHH? Codebreaker sets up the Backstabber but it only gets two. The fans say this is awesome and while it’s good I don’t know if it’s awesome. There goes the referee (naturally) and Angle comes out to send Storm into the steps. Nice planting of seeds there but it only gets two. Storm tries another superkick but falls into a fisherman’s suplex for the pin at 13:14.

Rating: B-. Solid stuff here but the ref bump made me roll my eyes. I did like what Kurt is doing though as he’s trying to make Storm turn on Roode and since no one is ever capable of watching tape in wrestling it might cause some of it for the PPV. Good main event and I’d expect to see this headlining a PPV someday soon.

Here’s Hogan for the retirement speech. He talks about how he’s been in Knoxville and how much he loves the fans. He isn’t sure what he’s going to do now with all the free time he has now. Some fans had asked if it was worth a ten hour drive to be here for it and he says yes it’s real. Hogan thanks the fans and they cheer for him again. He holds up the weight belt and lays it down in the ring, saying that Hulkamania is over and let the celebration begin.

Here’s Sting with a rebuttal I guess. He looks like a Hogan/Beetlejuice hybrid here. Sting says he doesn’t buy it but Hogan is like dude it’s real. Sting talks about how amazing it is today that you can have a camera anywhere today. Nothing is sacred today and Sting has some compelling footage about Hogan. Here’s Hogan and Bischoff with Hogan talking about how the fans are going to fall for this retirement hook line and sinker. Hogan makes fun of hillbillies in Knoxville and Hulk in the ring freaks. He says he’ll fight Sting at BFG and if Sting wins he’ll give the company back to Sting and Carter. WOW that was forced.

Overall Rating: C. Not a terrible show here but me being half asleep for a lot of it didn’t help. The wrestling was short but at this point I can live with that because it’s about building up to BFG now and with the card being set, you don’t really need many more new matches or stories going on. Decent show overall but it’s really just holding down the fort until BFG and that’s fine.

Results
Gunner b. Kazarian – Armbar
Madison Rayne/Winter b. Mickie James/Velvet Sky – Rollup
Crimson b. Samoa Joe – Small Package
Bobby Roode b. James Storm – Fisherman’s Suplex

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 22, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Counting tonight there are four shows left before Bound For Glory. Last night the rest of the shows leading up to the PPV were taped in Nashville so the entire thing has been set. I’ve never been a fan of that but that’s just me. Anyway, tonight we continue with Roode facing Fourtune in his gauntlet style thing as well as continue having Hogan and Sting set up since now that match is official for BFG. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Sting in a Hogan shirt and jeans to open the show with a contract in his hand. He talks about how things are great right now and he wants Hogan here right now. Hogan comes out and says he’s not medically cleared to wrestle. Sting FREAKS (in his insane way) and says he has some footage. It’s of Hogan killing Sting with a chair and beating him up from a few weeks ago. Hogan says he’s not going to fight at BFG even if he’s in shape as Sting has been chasing him for years but never caught up to him.

Sting says ok then. Screw BFG and let’s do it right now. Cue Bischoff for the interruption. He goes off on Sting and Sting doesn’t seem that interested. Eric tells Sting to look at him and Sting does as he clocks Bischoff with a right hand. Eric looks a bit dead now. Sting gets in Hogan’s face and says the match will happen.

Karen talks to Mickie and Tessmacher and says get ready for their match. Mickie leaves and Tessie says none of that erotic stripping stuff. She also tells Traci to cover those things up. She yells at Karen again and Kaz comes up to her to call Karen a madam. He and Traci leave and Karen immediately calls Jeff to yell.

Jeff Hardy arrives and is looking for someone to talk to.

Brooke Tessmacher vs. Mickie James

This is part of the qualifying series for the title match at BFG. The crowd goes almost silent once the bell rings. They fight over a wristlock (the girls, not the crowd, although that would be interesting to see) and we’re in the always awkward face vs. face match here. Tessmacher gets a rana for two and a dropkick to take over.

She grinds onto Mickie’s face in the corner and Mickie is ticked off. I guess she’s changed teams since her infatuation with Trish. She beats up tessmacher with a bad flapjack and the jumping DDT gets the pin at 2:55. Tessmacher looked MUCH better here than she usually does and is downright watchable.

Mexican America is off to get some new tattoos in a truck.

Al Snow talks to Jeff hardy who says Jeff made a mistake. He shakes Jeff’s hand and says to not make that mistake again and start at the top. Al also says he’s here if Jeff needs him.

X-Division Title: Jesse Sorensen vs. Austin Aries

No entrance for Sorensen. Aries asks for silence before the match which is an old school heel tactic and it works. He takes Jesse to the mat and tries to tick him off. Jesse is all annoyed and Austin steals Jesse’s football. Sorensen adds a third sport to things with a baseball slide and then a HUGE dive over the top to take Aries out. Kid Kash comes out to distract Sorensen which only works for a bit as Sorensen gets a big old Kingstonesque top rope cross body for two.

Aries goes up and jumps into a dropkick for two. Sorensets for something but Austni counters by ramming him into the corner. We get a Let’s Go Jesse/Austin Aries dueling chant. Kash is still there and distracts Jesse again, shoving the football into his chest. That isn’t a DQ for some reason and Jesse throws the ball into Kash’s chest. Aries hits a dropkick to the back of the head and a rollup for the pin at 4:27.

Rating: C. Not bad but Kash vs. Sorensen is something that should be over already. They had a three match series and Sorensen won the thing. What’s the point in continuing it now? Aries probably needed to get a clean win here but I see the idea of having him win with some shenanigans. Not bad but nothing great. Sorensen can jump though.

Anderson and RVD talk about their tag match tonight with Ray and Lynn, their respective opponents at BFG.

Anarquia has a new tattoo on his chest and says we need some tequila. The chicks go off to get it and the tattoo artist has to switch with someone else. Anarquia says he’s afraid of needles so they pray for him to not be scared. As they open their eyes, Ink Inc pops in and beats them up. They fight into the lobby of the place and the tattoo lady pops Anarquia with an elbow. This beating is going on for awhile. Hernandez was put through a table. They beat Anarquia onto a table and tattoo him but we’re not allowed to watch.

Jeff Hardy is looking for Kurt but finds Matt Morgan. Matt says hang for a bit. He rants about what Jeff did from a professional standpoint. Personally though he says he used to be a painkiller addict and he’d be a hypocrite to not give Jeff one last chance. Matt says if Jeff screws up one more time, Morgan will be the first person on him.

In the back, RVD has been put through a table. No idea who did it.

Hardy is talking to Kurt and Kurt doesn’t want him here. Angle says no one wants him here now and Kurt tries to throw him out. Jeff wants to know who Kurt is to judge him. Kurt goes on his rant about how great he is and tells Jeff to get out again. He goes to leave and Jeff stops him, saying it’s because Kurt knows he’s the biggest threat to the title. Kurt says don’t ever say that again and leaves.

Here’s Kurt and he calls out Robert Roode. Here’s Bobby still with the Beer Money theme. We take a break before Roode gets in the ring. Back and Angle says that Roode has passed the first test against Kaz in a great match. Tonight however he has Christopher Daniels. Kurt isn’t sure if Daniels will play by the rules tonight. Roode says this isn’t going to work. For 13 years now he’s given everything to the business and he knows Kurt is the best in the world. However at BFG he’s going to become world champion.

Angle implies he’s gotten to someone that Roode is close to and implies it’s Storm. Here’s the Beer in Beer Money. Roode looks confused and Kurt gives Storm a thumbs up on the way to the ring. He says to Roode that he makes his own rules. However he’s not here to get into it with Roode but rather Angle. Oral sex is implied but Storm wants a match with him instead. Kurt doesn’t turn it down or accept it but Storm seems confident it’s happening. I guess it is happening.

Bully Ray/Jerry Lynn vs. Mr. Anderson/Rob Van Dam

There’s no RVD due to the attack earlier. Ray starts us off but tags in Lynn almost immediately. Anderson is crotched on the top and it’s off to Ray. A splash gets a fast two and we’re in a chinlock about two minutes into this. Lynn gets a rolling…eye poke and Anderson is down. He sets for the Rolling Thunder but stomps on Anderson instead. He’s making fun of Van Dam if that wasn’t clear.

Some double teaming fails and Anderson takes them both down. A neckbreaker gets two on Ray and Anderson takes them both down again, including with an Amazing Red double spin kick to Ray for two. Lynn is sent to the floor and the Bubba Bomb is countered into the Mic Check for two. Lynn made the save but Anderson is able to hit the swanton for two. Lynn comes off the top for a save but hits Ray by mistake….for two. Ok then. Lynn distracts Anderson and a shot with the chain is enough for Ray to pin Anderson at 6:23.

Rating: C. I kind of liked the idea of this match as Anderson couldn’t get the win against the numbers game. The attacker of Rob isn’t a huge issue as it’s pretty clear it was Lynn and Ray, which is fine as it makes sense. Not bad here but it was a bit of a stretch to have Ray kick out of the swanton and the shot off the top from Lynn, although that’s a minor complaint.

Storm says he’s happy about Roode getting the title shot and says he’ll make some trouble with Angle even if he didn’t win the Series.

Christopher Daniels vs. Bobby Roode

Daniels comes out in street clothes. He talks about how he won’t wrestle Roode tonight because it would be a great match, but he has nothing left to prove. Three weeks ago he beat AJ in this ring which means a lot more. Cue AJ who wants to know what the deal is with Daniels. Daniels says there’s nothing to get over because Daniels is the better man. AJ is glad he has his confidence back but if Daniels keeps bringing up AJ’s name, there’s going to be another match. Daniels declines but AJ slaps him. AJ goes to leave but Daniels talks some trash and the fight is on.

After a break they’re STILL fighting. They fight to the back and into the Direct Auto Insurance offices. Why would you have an office in the back of a wrestling arena? They go back to the ring and Kaz comes out to break it up. They get calmed down and Daniels kicks AJ in the balls before bailing.

Angle is with Steiner and says he’ll beat Storm tonight because of the training he’s been doing. Steiner has been training him. Steiner says Angle is the best ever and says Kurt will beat Storm.

Back from a break Kaz and Daniels are still arguing. This makes about 20 minutes on the three parts of this segment. Kaz says they’re not his enemies and to calm down.

Kaz goes to AJ and AJ says that was Daniels showing his true colors. He says Daniels lost his mind after getting a little something going. Kaz says that’s Chris being Chris and says the whole thing is BS. AJ throws up in a trashcan due to the pain in his balls. Kaz talks about how this is about the difference between wrestling and life.

Bischoff tells Hogan he’ll find a loophole. Hogan says he’s got it and has a bombshell waiting for next week.

Kurt Angle vs. James Storm

Storm tries to take it to the mat, probably due to a lack of sobriety. Angle for some reason doesn’t want to do that and Storm pops him with a right hand. We go to the mat again with Storm in control but then Kurt is launched over the top and gets to do his front flip and lands on his feet spot. Angle suplexes him on the floor and takes over back in the ring. After a rest hold they both try cross bodies to send both guys down. Angle might be bleeding from somewhere on his arm.

Storm starts his comeback with some clotheslines and Kurt is in trouble. Backstabber gets two. Angle snaps off a belly to belly for two. Angle Slam is countered into what looked to be the Eye of the Storm but Kurt reverses into the ankle lock which Storm can’t break. Yeah Kurt’s forearm/elbow is bleeding but it’s nothing too serious. Storm finally rolls through for two and sends Kurt’s shoulder into the post for two more. Superkick is countered into rolling Germans for two more. You would think all those twos would get three eventually but they never do.

Moonsault misses (duh) and Storm heads to the apron. Kurt, looking like he could use a cheeseburger, tries to run the ropes but gets his head bitten instead. A top rope elbow gets a VERY close two as this has gotten good. They slug it out and the Eye of the Storm is broken up again. And here’s Gunner for interference to set up the Slam for two.

Angle slaps him around and Storm superkicks the referee. Naturally the kick hits Angle the second time and here’s Earl for two as Gunner pulls him out. Gunner clocks Storm with the belt and I guess the match is thrown out at about 11:30. Roode comes in to take out Gunner. He picks up the belt

Rating: B. This was getting good until the end which is probably the best way they could have gone. I still think Storm costs Roode the title at the PPV which is both good and bad as their feud is pretty much guaranteed at some point but they need to let Roode win the title and have a moment first to set up a slow burn heel turn for Storm. Good TV match here until the pretty obvious ending.

Roode holds up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Well the pacing problems are back. There were two stretches tonight with over half an hour between matches. In short, that is not something that should happen. With TNA’s roster as big as it is, that should never be a problem. You could throw anything out there to bridge one of those gaps. The TV Title was won in late May and has been defended twice since, once in June and once in August. You could throw that out there. Maybe the Pope or someone like that.

But no, instead we need to spend THREE segments on AJ vs. Daniels to set up their 900th match on PPV and have a long segment with Ink Inc beating up the tag champs. The wrestling, what little there was, was just ok and the talking was nothing special other than to show that it should be Storm challenging for the title and not Roode. Not their best effort here but they added to BFG so points for that.

Results
Mickie James b. Brooke Tessmacher – Jumping DDT
Austin Aries b. Jesse Sorensen – Rollup
Bully Ray/Jerry Lynn b. Mr. Anderson – Chain to the throat
Kurt Angle vs. James Storm went to a no contest

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 23, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s likely another show building towards Destination X here which means we’ll probably get another triple threat with guys brought in.  That’s a cool idea as it lets you see guys you usually wouldn’t see having some pretty fun matches.  Other than that, probably some more stuff about the Bound For Glory Series, which is still a long way off from the final goal.  Anyway let’s get to it.

We open with clips of last week’s two big moments in the form of the Jarrett/Angle parking lot fight and Sting going all psycho on Hogan.

And here’s Jarrett again who wants to be part of the Bound For Glory Series (which he says hasn’t started yet for some reason).  Eric says no because of the Network and says Jarrett needs to go to Mexico.  Actually this past Saturday he won the AAA World Title so this fits rather well.  Eric says Jeff needs to lead the Immortal takeover of Mexico.  Wonder how long Jeff will be gone.

Here’s Eric in the arena and he wants to talk to Sting.  Here’s the Scorpion enthusiast himself.  Eric wants to know why Sting thought he could get away with what he tried to do to Hogan last week on Eric’s show.  Eric yells at Sting a lot and then Sting goes into an almost Doink voice, saying Eric hurt his feelings and cursed at him.  Sting is playing up the psycho side here, saying he’s going to snap Eric’s neck.  He calls Eric a con artist and says that Bischoff is a virus that has infected Hogan but that’s going to change.

Eric says that’ll never happen because it’ll always be Hogan and Bischoff.  Sting is going to have to change because of Bischoff though.  He may have a rematch on the 14^th but Eric can change that.  Tonight it’s Sting vs. Abyss and on the line is….nothing apparently.  Sting goes back into his Jim Carrey voice here and says that it’s Eric rather than Sting who has a price to pay.  Sting hits him in the corner and more or less struts around the ring.  Death Drop leaves Bischoff laying.  He gets the makeup treatment and the Scorpion as we go to a break with the hold still on.

Apparently there have been some BFG Series matches on house shows, including Gunner pinning AJ clean.  Morgan, AJ, RVD, Gunner and Scott Steiner all have seven points and everyone else has zero.

Bound For Glory Series: Scott Steiner vs. Bully Ray

This has the potential to be pretty cool or a trainwreck.  This is your big slugout that you would expect here.  Ray controls to start but misses a splash in the corner.  Steiner takes over with some solid shots and hits the pushups after the elbow.  Ray gets a boot up in the corner to shift the momentum again and three covers off a right hand.  Ray rams in the forearm smashes in a crossface style and loads up the Bubba Bomb.  Steiner escapes the full nelson though to a big face chant.

Steiner comes back with the suplexes and there goes the referee.  Overhead belly to belly puts Ray down and it’s time for the Recliner.  No referee though, even though it’s that horrid submission of his.  At least pull back on the thing Scott.  Ray taps but there’s no referee.  Scott goes to check on him instead of keeping the hold on until he gets back, allowing Ray to find a chain to hit Steiner in the throat with a chain for the pin at 5:55.

Rating: C. Not bad at all for a big man brawl here for the most part.  These two would be infinitely more entertaining in a promo than a match but this wasn’t that bad.  Scott was more or less the face by default here and the match wasn’t that bad at all.  Granted I had low expectations coming in for it but the match wasn’t bad at all.

Bischoff tells Gunner and Abyss to take care of Sting when Anderson comes in.  Anderson gets yelled at for not helping Bischoff and Eric says he won the title for Sting for him.  Anderson says he was having a burger during the attack.  Eric yells at Anderson and says come over to Immortal and Anderson stands there.  Eric says think about it and isn’t happy at all.

Steiner is looking for Ray in the back.

Zema Ion, more commonly known as Shiima Xion of various indy companies, is in an X Division Showcase match tonight.

Miss Tessmacher/Velvet Sky vs. Jackie Moore/ODB

Velvet says this was supposed to be no holds barred but they can’t do that because their opponents aren’t under contract or something.  Ok apparently it is no holds barred.  They start in the aisle and it’s a big brawl.  Apparently this is before the bell.  Velvet and ODB get in the ring as we go to a break before a bell rings.

Back and I guess the bell rang during the break.  Jackie is hammering on Tessmacher but Miss manages to break free, only for Velvet to not be there.  ODB hammers on her a bit but Tessmacher gets a spear of all things to break through and get the tag.  Velvet cleans house and everything breaks down.  The referee gets taken down again and Jackie kicks Velvet between the legs for the pin at 3:50 shown.

Rating: D. The Knockouts division is so horrible anymore and the talent just isn’t working most of the time.  Jackie is completely worthless and I’ve yet to see anyone that actually cares about her in the slightest.  ODB isn’t much better and while Velvet and Tessmacher look great, they’re better suited as being there looking hot rather than being in the ring.  Not much here at all in another sloppy mess of a match.

Federico Palacios is also in the X Division match tonight.  He’s more known as Azrieal.

Tara has Madison at the PPV and Madison comes up to yell at her.  Madison gets rammed into the wall and Tara tells her to never touch her again.

Roode still isn’t cleared to wrestle even though he’s in the BFG Series.

Steiner storms into the Immortal locker room and swings a chain around.  He’s freaking again.  Ray says Steiner would have done the same thing.  Ray offers Steiner a spot in Immortal.  Steiner throws the chain again and says he’ll think about it.

Bound For Glory Series: Crimson/Matt Morgan vs. Beer Money

Roode vs. Crimson start us off and I guess Roode’s arm is fine now.  He hits the Hennig neck snap but Crimson runs him down with ease.  Roode is holding his arm now and Storm tags himself in.  Off to Morgan who can’t hit the elbows in the corner.  Codebreaker and a neckbreaker combine for two for Storm.  Discus lariat gets two for Morgan, setting up the elbows in the corner and the tag off to Crimson.

Next week it’s AJ vs. Gunner.  Crimson beats on Storm for awhile until Storm hits a Backstabber to bring in Roode.  Morgan is in also and the shoulder looks better.  Carbon Footprint misses in the corner and Roode goes after the leg.  Forearm puts Morgan down but he jumps into a chokeslam attempt.  Roode goes for a Fujiwara Armbar out of a counter but it’s broken up by Crimson.

Double suplex puts the red guy down and there’s the shout.  For once though they get caught, in this instance by a double clothesline from Morgan.  Roode gets a Blockbuster but his arm is hurt again.  Storm gets tossed to the floor by Roode onto Crimson but walks into the Carbon Footprint for the pin at 6:15.  I think only Morgan gets the points but it’s not really clear.

Rating: B-. Pretty good tag match here with the champs being messed up because of Roode’s arm injury.  I’m curious as to where they’re going with the arm injury and if they’re going to drop the titles because of it.  I liked this though and I wish they’d get Beer Money out there more, but only once Roode is healthy.

Yeah only Morgan gets points.

Abyss says he follows Sun-Tzu and Bischoff.  Tonight Bischoff told him to take out Sting so that’s what he’ll do.

Eric Young is looking for another TV Star, apparently Popeye.

Here’s AJ to talk about Destination X.  He has an idea for a match at the X-Division PPV.  AJ says he’ll be at that show because the X-Division is his roots.  He lists off some of the great X guys over the years….and here’s Joe.  He says that AJ was the pioneer but it didn’t get taken seriously until Joe got here.  AJ is the heart of the division but Joe gave the division its balls.  Since there needs to be the third guy to make this complete, here’s Daniels to the Fourtune music.  Daniels suggests AJ vs. himself and it’s accepted.  No Joe?  Apparently not.

Kaz isn’t thrilled with what Daniels just did.  Daniels leaves and Joe pops up, making fun of Fourtune.  Kaz says stay out of it and gets beaten up.  Joe drilling him and walking away is great.

Dakota Darsow, the last guy in the X match, is the son of Barry Darsow, more commonly known as Smash or Repo Man.

Federico Palacios vs. Dakota Darsow vs. Zema Ion

Darsow is sent to the floor quickly as we actually get a graphic saying who is in what color.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen that in a wrestling match.  Ion gets a DDT on Palacios for two.  More fast paced stuff here but less high flying than last week.  Just as I say that Ion hits a missile dropkick to Darsow to send him to the floor.  Palacios is very fast.  Darsow pops back in and takes both guys down to take over again.

Palacios hits a huge suicide dive onto Darsow and Zema mosly misses a corkscrew plancha, mostly landing on the head of Palacios with his feet.  That looked sick.  Back in the ring Darsow hits a moonsault but Palacios hits a double stomp to the back of Darsow to break it up.  Superplex is broken up and Darsow kicks Ion on the top.  Zema knocks him off the top and a 450 ends this at 4:42.

Rating: C+. Not as good as last week as some of the botches hurt it, but still a pretty good match.  The 450 was pretty awesome to end it, but I’d like to know some more about these guys rather than just saying they’re awesome and X-Division guys.  Not bad and more or less what the X-Division is supposed to be: insane stuff with flips and dives to fire up the crowd.

RVD says he wants to be at the X-Division PPV and Jerry Lynn comes in.  Lynn says they were both X-Division before there was one and then leaves.

Winter vs. Mickie James

This is a street fight and it already was going on in the back when we came back from a break.  Winter is dominating and whips Mickie with a leather belt.  They head out to the stage where Mickie gets the belt away from her.  Thesz Press off part of the set takes over for Micke and they roll down the ramp.  Mickie hits a rana on the floor and Winter is in trouble.  Into the ring and Mickie hits a missile dropkick, but here’s Angelina to hit her backbreaker.  It’s behind the referee’s back but it’s a street fight so it’s not like it would have mattered anyway.  That gets the pin at 4:40 shown.  Angelina is smiling post match.

Rating: C-. Just another brawl with the Knockouts that is probably going to set up a title match later.  That’s fine and good, but what was the point in this being a street fight?  Shouldn’t the regular match set up the gimmick match?  Anyway, nothing of note here and two street fights with Knockouts in a night is too much for my taste.  Better than the first one by about a mile though.

Abyss vs. Sting

Non-title of course here.  This actually gets big match intros but Sting jumps Abyss before his intro.  Sting manages to run Abyss over with a shoulder block which is a rare sight.  They head to the floor off a Sting clothesline and Abyss takes over.  He throws on an armbar which is kind of a weird choice but it doesn’t last long enough to think about it.

Sting gets a running start but runs into the chokeslam for two.  Abyss picks up the Art of War book and hits Sting with it for a not DQ.  And there’s a barbed wire glove.  Sting avoids it for a bit and hits the Splash in the corner.  Death Drop hits for two.  Sting gets the glove and pops Abyss in the head with it to draw blood for the DQ at 5:30.

Rating: C. Fine for a quick main event here that tied into the opening of the show and played into Sting’s crazy stuff.  Not a horrible match or anything but just kind of there.  The ending is fine as Sting going insane is better than an actual ending in a match that Sting doesn’t really need to win.  This was fine.

Post match Sting hits Abyss like 5 times as Anderson comes out for a staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Wow I must be running a fever.  First and foremost here: the pacing was the best it’s been here in forever.  There were no 20-30 minute stretches with nothing but talking.  It helps a lot to have a match to break the boredom, even if it’s just something quick and relatively pointless.  That’s one of Impact’s biggest issues and it’s very refreshing to see it not happen for once.  Destination X was built up pretty well and the show wasn’t boring for the most part.  I liked this quite well and dare I say it, best wrestling show so far this week.

Results

Bully Ray b. Scott Steiner – Ray pinned Steiner after a chain shot to the throat

Jackie/ODB b. Velvet Sky/Miss Tessmacher – Jackie pinned Sky after a low blow

Crimson/Matt Morgan b. Beer Money – Carbon Footprint to Roode

Zema Ion b. Dakota Darsow and Federico Palacios – 450 Splash to Darsow

Winter b. Mickie James – Pin after a backbreaker from Angelina Love

Abyss b. Sting via DQ when Sting hit Abyss with a barbed wire glove