Invasion of the Bodyslammers
Hosts: Lord Alfred Hayes, Slick
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Jim Ross, Randy Savage

So this is a Coliseum Video which I had as a kid and watched over and over, making this something of a nice flashback for me. It’s something that was uploaded to the WWE Vault and that means I have a reason to watch it all over gain. Granted I didn’t say it was good, so keep that in mind. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, featuring highlights that put us in mid 1993.

Lord Alfred Hayes and Slick welcome us…from the bowling alley, because it’s time to teach Kamala how to bowl. Slick says he has bowled 27 perfect games and it’s time to teach Kamala how to do that today. First up, he needs shoes. We’ll work on that during the first match.

From January 25, 1993 in San Jose, California.

Earthquake vs. Yokozuna

Mr. Fuji is here with Yokozuna. After nearly a minute and a half of getting ready and posing, they shove each other a bit as this is taking its time. Some kicks to the ribs stagger Yokozuna but a running shoulder doesn’t do much for Earthquake. Three clotheslines put Yokozuna down to one knee but a running shoulder drops Earthquake, setting up the running legdrop. Back up and Fuji offers a distraction, allowing Yokozuna to hit a corner splash. The Banzai Drop finishes Earthquake off at 3:43.

Rating: D. This was nothing, with almost half of the match being spent staring at each other before they started making contact. The action, and I use that term loosely, was about two minutes long and it didn’t work. They’re both capable of so much more and it was just nothing to see, which is rather disappointing.

From December 14, 1992 in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

Nasty Boys vs. Beverly Brothers

Beau punches Sags in the face to start but Sags is back with a faceplant to Blake. This lets Heenan go on an amusing bit about which Beverly is which, where he eliminates the Nastys and the referee before saying that the one in the purple is a Beverly. Ross: “And what might his first name be?” Heenan: “Mr.” Knobbs comes in and picks up the pace, including a faceplant, only for Beau to hit one of his own (this is already repetitive and we’re barely three minutes in).

Blake clotheslines Knobbs down but misses a middle rope splash. What looked like a low blow cuts Knobbs down again but he comes back with a hair takedown (so a reverse faceplant). That’s enough to bring Sags back in for the house cleaning, including a double faceplant (oh come on). The brawling is on and the referee gets shoved for the double DQ at 6:47.

Rating: D. This match was 80% punching and faceplanting before a double DQ on a Coliseum Video. Why in the world would you think that was the right way to go? You really can’t have the Beverly Brothers do a job here? Another bad match as this tape is off to a pretty terrible start.

Back at the alley, Kamala won’t wear shoes, but Hayes has a customized bowling ball, complete with the same kind of paint that covers Kamala’s stomach and chest.

From November 24, 1992 in Dayton, Ohio.

Undertaker vs. Razor Ramon

Heenan spends Ramon’s entrance mocking the idea of Ross being a bowling fan. Ramon goes to the floor to start and hammers away back inside to limited success. Undertaker strikes away and hits Old School, with Ross doing a great job of selling how impressive it is. A clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor but Ramon is back with a Stunner over the ropes to stagger Ramon.

Undertaker gets crotched on the to and as Heenan isn’t sure if Undertaker is an athlete or a monster. Savage: “An athletic monster.” Some elbow drops have Undertaker in trouble and an Urn shot rocks him again. Undertaker pops up with the chokeslam and that’s enough for Ramon, who takes the countout at 5:03.

Rating: C-. Match of the tape so far and at least I get why they didn’t want Ramon to take a fall. Undertaker was rapidly becoming a big deal around this point and it’s easy to see why he got to beat up Ramon and send him running here. That being said, can we please get a good match already? This is getting to be a bit much.

From January 5, 1993 in San Antonio, Texas.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Typhoon

Is this tape mad at me? Do I owe it money or something? Typhoon powers out of a waistlock to start before catching a crossbody (geez) in a World’s Strongest Slam. Back up and Typhoon hammers away but gets sent face first into the buckle. Bigelow grabs a front facelock and Typhoon can’t suplex his way to freedom. Instead Bigelow gets in a suplex of his own and we hit the chinlock. Typhoon fights up and Bigelow can’t hold him up for a slam. A corner splash sets up…not the running splash, as Typhoon lets him get back up. Another splash in the corner misses and Bigelow drops the top rope headbutt for the win at 7:28.

Rating: C-. What were you expecting from these two? There is only so much you can get out of a match where the two of them aren’t able to do much and that was on display here. Typhoon was just ok on his best day and that wasn’t the case in this match. I know the WWF loved its battles of the monsters but that rarely worked, which was on full display with this one.

Slick bowls a strike but Kamala is looking at his bowling ball. Therefore, let’s go to the Repo Cam. Alfred isn’t here, presumably having been eaten by Kamala.

We go to a home movie being invaded by the Repo Man, who tells the man filming that he can keep the camera if he follows Repo Man around for the day. First up, Repo Man takes a Cadillac, because what’s his is his and what’s everybody else’s is his too. Next up, Repo Man takes a kid’s bike because the kid’s dad owes him money.

Now it’s time to go into a video store (oh how I miss those), where the clerk insists that they make all of their payments. She can keep the store for a week if she plays the Repo Man’s Greatest Hits, which Repo Man of course carries with him. The tape (within the special) shows Repo Man kicking in a car window to take it back due to the person being a day late on his payments.

Then he breaks into a garage and takes a woman’s car for being three days late. The woman comes into the garage and screams so he tells her to pay up or shut up. Back at the video store, Repo Man makes sure to get his tape back…then runs off with the video camera. This was the kind of insanity I love from Coliseum Videos, as it felt like Repo Man was told to go do something and they put it on the tape. I like that kind of thing, just for the sake of building up a guy who doesn’t get much attention. You instantly get what you’re supposed to know about him and it made for a short, stupid, yet still entertaining segment.

From April 29, 1992 in Syracuse, New York.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

Hart is defending and Sensational Sherri is here with Michaels as this is the best sounding thing in a good while after the last forty five minutes. Michaels snaps off an armdrag to start with even Heenan thinking Michaels needs to follow up faster. A pull of the hair brings Hart down into an armbar but he flips up and sends Michaels outside. Back in and Hart starts in on the arm for a change before dropping him with a clothesline for two.

Michaels comes back with a knee to the ribs and stomps away, setting up a running crotch attack against the ropes. The chinlock goes on and Michaels uses the hair to pull Hart back down. Back up and Michaels charges into a boot in the corner, allowing Hart to hit a middle rope clothesline. The middle rope elbow gets two, with Sherri panicking at the near fall. They both crash out to the floor and Sherri grabs the leg, allowing Michaels to knock hart into the barricade for the countout at 8:49.

Rating: C+. Even a not so great Bret vs. Shawn match is still Bret vs. Shawn and it’s by far the best thing in the first hour of this pretty dreadful tape. The two of them could have a decent match together in their sleep and they did well enough here without much time. In this case the countout was fine as it keeps Shawn strong, but dang I could have gone for some more from these two.

Post match Sherri is shocked that it’s not a title change. Shawn is less stunned but decks the referee instead. Ever the fan of law and order, Bret beats Shawn up for going after the referee.

Slick demonstrates bowling form and hits a strike, but Kamala is still looking at the ball. Alfred (hey he wasn’t eaten) suggests a new ball, but Kamala doesn’t want to give up the old one. Instead, he can have a match.

From February 16, 1993 in San Diego, California.

Kamala vs. Doink The Clown

Kamala has Slick with him while Doink has a big gift box. Doink teases Kamala with said box as Heenan suggests cutting off Kamala’s head, shave his beard, put a finger in each ear and throw him down the alley for a great bowling ball. With that disturbing image in my head (fingers in ears are not sanitary), Kamala goes after the arm but gets caught in an armbar to take him down. That’s broken up and Kamala hits something like a superkick. A bunch of chops connect and they go outside for the chase. Doink cuts him off with the box though…and Kamala gets counted out at 3:21.

Rating: D+. This is beyond ridiculous as it almost feels like the tape is trolling us at this point. The match was barely anything more than a way to set up the ending, which might make sense but isn’t much to see after everything else that has been on this mess. In theory, someone would have thought “hey, maybe we should have a good match on here” at some point, but that hasn’t really happened yet. Just more lame stuff, even though evil Doink is always kind of fun.

Post match, there’s nothing in the box. Heenan: “I’m so sorry, I’m dumb.” Kamala beats Doink up and chases him off.

From December 14, 1992 in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

Undertaker vs. Papa Shango

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker, as is customary. Shango grabs him by the throat for a drive into the corner, only for Undertaker to do the same thing. Well to Shango that is. Old School takes Shango down but he avoids an elbow and clotheslines Undertaker out to the floor. The Stunner over the top gets Undertaker out of trouble but Shango grabs his voodoo stick to blast Undertaker with some pyro.

Undertaker staggers around and a chair to the back makes it worse. Shango sends him into the steps and they go back inside where Undertaker pops up off some slams. A boot to the head and some elbows (as Ramon did to him an hour ago) keep undertaker in trouble but he comes back with the jumping clothesline. The chokeslam finishes Shango at 6:26.

Rating: C. This didn’t have much time either but in this case that might be the best possible outcome. Shango didn’t have much other than trying to blow up Undertaker’s face (wrestling is weird) and there is only so much of a reason to believe that he was a threat to Shango. Undertaker was still a monster here and in theory this would be a big match but after seeing this, not so much.

Slick tries to convince Kamala to roll the ball down the alley…but he runs down the alley instead.

From February 1, 1993 in New York City, New York.

Battle Royal

Owen Hart, Koko B. Ware, Kamala, Kim Chee, Shawn Michaels, Iron Mike Sharpe, Bob Backlund, Typhoon, Razor Ramon, Damien Demento, Berzerker, Terry Taylor, Skinner, Tito Santana, Tatanka

This is from a Raw taping, which is weird to see on a tape like this one. The general brawling starts us off as we hear about Andre The Giant being great at these things, mainly because he passed away about a week earlier. Sharpe is out without being mentioned as Heenan is impressed by Ware and Hart’s pants. Ware’s pants go flying over the top for an elimination, leaving commentary to wonder if Tatanka can lose without having his undefeated streak broken.

Things slow down despite not going fast in the first place, with no one really close to an elimination. Hart can’t get rid of Michaels and for some reason Skinner stops to dance, allowing Typhoon to knock him out. Demento is out and Hart follows him, with Berzerker kicking Santana low in something you didn’t often see at this point. Berzerker is tossed out without much trouble and Kamala is sent out with a bit more trouble. Hold on though as Kamala goes back in to toss Chee out and then chases him into the crowd.

We’re down to seven and cut to Kamala chasing Chee through the balcony in a cool shot. As we come back, Taylor and Backlund are both out and Michaels gets rid of Typhoon. That leaves us with Michaels, Ramon, Santana and Tatanka as something of a tag match (and a good one at that) breaks out. Michaels hammers on Tatanka in the corner as Ramon might have kneed Santana low. Santana is back up with the running forearm, leaving the good guys to beat up Michaels.

A double kick in the corner gets rid of Michaels….and here is Giant Gonzalez to go after everyone else. Gonzalez tosses out Tatanka and Santana is out as well. Since Ramon is the only one left, he wins at around 13:30. This means Heenan’s pick wins, sending Savage into a fit of hysterics (Savage: “YOU GOTTA BE RIBBING!” I still use that line in my day to day life thirty plus years later.”)

Rating: D+. Pretty lame battle royal here with a bunch of standing around and not doing much until the ending. It’s really just a bunch of midcarders in one big match and that is only going to get you so far. It was long, bring and had a screwy ending so it was only going to be so good. Also, they kept saying it was a sixteen man match but I’ve never gotten past fifteen.

From October 26, 1992 in Springfield, Illinois.

Tatanka vs. Repo Man

Tatanka grabs a lockup to start and powers him into the corner before they switch places. Repo Man actually gives a clean break (commentary is stunned too) and it’s a pair of dropkicks to put him own as a result. The threat of a chop sends Repo out to the apron as Heenan talks about how many cars Repo can get into in ten seconds.

Back up and a not very smooth crossbody sets up an armbar on Repo, allowing Heenan to explain why Repo is screaming “HE’S BREAKING IT”! Heenan actually goes into a deal about how you’re trying to get the referee to check the hold to get a break, which is rather in-depth. A sunset flip doesn’t work for Tatanka but neither does Repo’s counter.

As commentary talks about paying off the bet from the battle royal (Heenan: “Just give me $200 each we’ll call it even.” Savage: “Ok no problem. I’ve got a lot of Confederate money laying around.”), Tatanka misses a crossbody and gets caught in an armbar. Tatanka fights up and chops away but for some reason stays down after hitting a big one. Repo goes up and gets punched out of the air, setting up even more chops. A top rope chop gets two and the End Of The Trail finishes for Tatanka at 7:43.

Rating: D+. They weren’t clicking out there and it made for a not very goo match. I’m not sure what was going on but for some reason it was like they kept having to restart. This isn’t exactly a match that needed to be all that complicated but for some reason it felt like they were on rather different pages.

Kamala, holding a ball in both hands, wiggles his hips a bit…and the ball goes backwards.

From January 4, 1993 in Beaumont, Texas.

Mr. Perfect vs. Ric Flair

Perfect shoves him down a few times to start and mocks the Flair hair rub. Flair loses an exchange of slaps and Perfect drops him without much trouble. A wrestle off goes to Perfect, who slaps Flair in the face again as this is one sided so far. Back up and Flair chops and punches away in the corner, naturally setting up a heck of a bump back out of said corner. Perfect gets in a backdrop and a clotheslines puts Flair out on the floor.

Back in and Flair goes to the eyes to take over so a knee drop can get two. Commentary bickers about whether or not Flair losing to Bret Hart in Canada should count as Perfect makes the comeback. A slam off the top gives Perfect two but he misses an elbow, meaning it’s time for Flair to go after the leg. The Figure Four goes on and naturally Flair grabs the rope (JR: “It’s illegal!” Heenan: “No, illegal is a sick bird!”).

Perfect rolls over and gets caught in the corner, where Flair can strike away again. Some chops get Perfect out of trouble and he slugs away on one leg. The leg is good enough for a backdrop and Perfect whips him over the corner. Back in and a quick PerfectPlex gives Perfect the clean win at 10:49.

Rating: B. Oh of course these two were going to have a good match. They know each other really well and Perfect was more than capable of hanging with Flair at his best. The leg injury worked well with Perfect having to fight his way back up and it was easy to get into what they were doing. Rather nice way to wrap things up here, and it’s nice to have a clean ending to a hard worked match.

Slick and Alfred liked the tape (their opinions are officially revoked) but they’re disappointed they didn’t teach Kamala to bowl. Then Kamala bowls a strike and the hosts are stunned (ok points for a funny visual). Slick celebrates with Kamala to finish things off.

Overall Rating: D+. This tape really is just known as “that tape where Slick teaches Kamala to bowl”. Other than that you have a bunch of nothing matches, with Perfect vs. Flair being the only good one, along with a Bret vs. Shawn match which has been done better. The Repo Man stuff was kind of funny but the one joke gets old quick. Just a weak tape here from a bad period in the company’s history.

 

 

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Invasion of the Bodyslammers
Hosts: Lord Alfred Hayes, Slick
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Jim Ross, Randy Savage

Oh how I love the WWE Network. Back in the day, I had this on tape and watched it so many times that I can probably tell you the commentary from memory. I’ve always wanted to review it but it’s kind of hard to find. Well either that or I’m too lazy to actually look it up. This is from early 1993 so don’t expect the best action in the world. Let’s get to it.

Hayes and Slick are in a bowling alley where Slick is teaching Kamala how to bowl (As part of teaching Kamala how to be a man. I never said these things were the most interesting in the world.). First up: Slick has bowling shoes for him but Kamala is scared to put them on so let’s go to a match.

From January 25, 1993 in San Jose, California. Note that Jim Ross is doing commentary on all matches, despite most of them taking place before he debuted at Wrestlemania IX.

Yokozuna vs. Earthquake

Yokozuna goes to the sumo pose and we get some Thigh Master jokes. There’s no contact until over a minute and a half in, which is probably the best idea given the cardio issues here. Earthquake gets in some jumping kicks to the ribs but a shoulder exchange goes nowhere. Some clotheslines put Yokozuna down to a knee but he elbows Earthquake down just as easily. The big fat leg crushes Earthquake again and a running splash in the corner sets up the Banzai Drop for the pin at 3:45.

Rating: D. They were right to keep this short and when you take out the staring at each other early on, there’s not much else to do. Yokozuna won the Royal Rumble the day before this was taped so he was well on his way to the top of the company. A win over a former top heel like Earthquake, especially one this big, was the right way to go. The length helped and while they didn’t do much, they did it right.

From December 14, 1992 in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

Nasty Boys vs. Beverly Brothers

Egads what was wrong with me as a kid? Sags shoves Beau into the corner to start and gets punched in the face. The announcers talk about how this is going to be a fight, just after talking about how the Beverlies are such great wrestlers. JR: “Now Brain which one is Beau and which one is Blake?” Brain: “Well now the guy with the long hair and the tooth missing, that’s one of the Nasties so forget him. Now the one with the long pants and the bowtie is the referee. This guy coming into the ring right now with blond hair is another one of the Nasties. The one in the blue is one of the Beverlies.”

Beau, the one with the mustache for you non-Beverly Brothers experts, gets beaten up by both Nasties for a bit until Knobbs misses a charge in the corner. The World’s Greatest Tag Team jump over your partner onto the opponent’s back (first popularized by the Beverlies) keeps Knobbs in trouble but Beau misses a middle rope headbutt. That’s not enough for the tag though as Blake comes in for a low blow with the announcers wondering how that could be allowed. I’m guessing it’s not the finish to the match. An elbow to the face allows the hot tag to Sags and everything breaks down for the double DQ at 6:48.

Rating: D. Heenan’s commentary helped this one along but it was only going to get so far. The Nasties didn’t fit as faces but they were going to get cheered at this point so it was the only choice the company had. The Beverlies were perfectly fine for a low level heel tag team and they put on some good performances when they were given the chance. Just a bad ending to a bad match here though.

Kamala doesn’t have shoes on yet but Hayes has got him a bowling ball with the same paintings that are on Kamala’s stomach. This works a bit better, but Kamala is still a little scared. Let’s go to a match instead.

From November 24, 1992 in Dayton, Ohio.

Razor Ramon vs. Undertaker

JR makes bowling references and Heenan loses it when he says they bowl in Oklahoma every Saturday night. If that’s not enough, Heenan tells a story about trying to get an Undertaker autograph but signing it himself and selling it to a kid. Ramon bails to the floor to start and the slow chase/walk is on. Back in and Razor hammers away but Undertaker just stares at him. The uppercuts set up New School (with JR selling the heck out of how awesome that is) so Razor clotheslines him to the floor.

That means a Stunner over the rope, which Undertaker has done far longer than I thought he had. Heenan: “What do you call him: an athlete or a monster?” Savage: “An athletic monster.” Heenan: “Thank you very much!” Back in and a side slam drops Undertaker, followed by five elbow drops. That’s not enough though as Razor steals the Urn and knocks Undertaker out. That’s only good for two and Undertaker makes the comeback, including a chokeslam to send Razor bailing for the countout at 5:03.

Rating: C-. I can go for two bigger guys hitting each other hard, even if the ending was lame. Undertaker was rapidly becoming a featured player at this point with the unstoppable monster thing working very well for him. Razor was still a newcomer here so it made sense to not have him lose the match clean here. I liked this more than I should have and that’s all you can ask for here.

From January 5, 1993 in San Antonio, Texas.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Typhoon

We hit the front facelock and some ax handles to the back put Typhoon down again. Bigelow scores with a suplex to even things out from earlier and it’s off to a chinlock. A headbutt gives Bigelow two but he can’t hold Typhoon up for a slam. Typhoon loads up the splash but picks him up for no apparent reason instead of even hitting said splash. Now the top rope headbutt is enough to put Typhoon away at 7:28.

Rating: D. The slams were impressive but Typhoon got less and less useful every single day. He’s a big fat guy who can’t do anything other than big fat guy offense, which doesn’t help him much when he pulls Bigelow up instead of even trying his finisher. Bigelow wasn’t much around this time either but at least he had some charisma and could do something a little more interesting.

Slick demonstrates a strike but Kamala is fascinated by his new ball. Therefore, let’s go to the Repo Cam.

We start with Repo Man harassing a family who has bought a new camper but is late on the payment for his camera.

Instead, Repo Man allows him to film the day’s activities to let him keep the camera. First up: a guy behind on the payments for his Cadillac. Repo Man sneaks up on him (in broad daylight and outside the Selland Arena in Fresno, with a WWF production truck in the parking lot) and takes the car, revealing the driver to be Bill Alfonso (not named but that voice is easy to recognize). Thankfully Repo Man is smart enough to remember his cameraman.

Next up: Repo Man steals a kid’s bike for because his dad is late picking him up from school. It’s quite a sight to see Smash riding down the street on a child’s bike, shouting over his shoulder that the kid’s dad owes him big money and for the cameraman to hurry up.

It’s time to move on to something bigger now as Repo Man goes into a video store (full of Coliseum Videos of course) and promises to take it soon. The cashier says she can get out of trouble if she plays the Repo Man’s Greatest Hits.

So now we’re on a tape in a segment, this time with Repo Man kicking a car window in and stealing it too.

Repo Man steals another car. We get the idea!

Back in the video store, he takes the guy’s camera to wrap things up. It went on too long but Repo Man talking to the camera was funny.

From April 29, 1992 in Syracuse, New York.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

Bret is defending. Feeling out process to start with Shawn’s armdrag annoying Bret a bit. Savage: “Michaels can wrestle.” Just not against Savage on the big stage after a long rivalry. Shawn takes him down by the hair into an armbar but Bret sends him outside, frustrating Shawn to no end. Back in and Bret tries his own armbar as these two have a long history of mirroring each other.

In what might not be the brightest move in the world, Bret tries to run the ropes and gets cut off by a knee to the ribs, as Shawn is just better when things speed up. Sherri even gets in a forearm from the floor, as is her custom. An elbow sets up the chinlock on Bret as you can hear the fans getting behind Bret.

It works for a few seconds but Bret charges into the superkick (not yet the finisher) for no cover and only a reaction from Savage. A clothesline out of the corner gets Bret out of trouble again and the middle rope elbow gets two. Shawn bails to the floor in a smart move and they slug it out but Shawn knocks him off the apron into the barricade for the countout at 8:52.

Rating: C+. This was a slow motion version of what these two are capable of doing and while it might not be the brightest idea in the world to have Bret defending a title that he hadn’t held in a good eight months by the time this came out, at least they got these two big names in there. These two might get together again a few times in the future.

Post match Shawn takes the title from the referee and shoves him down, only to get hit by the belt from a returning Bret.

Slick bowls another strike but Kamala doesn’t stop looking at the ball. The solution is to give him another ball but it’s easier said than done.

From February 16, 1993 in Dayton, Ohio.

Doink the Clown vs. Kamala

This is still evil Doink with a gift box. Hang on a second as Doink wants to give Kamala the present, which Heenan thinks is a bowling ball. Heenan doesn’t think that’s necessary though: “What you could do is just shave Kamala’s beard, cut off his head, stick a finger in each ear and roll him down the alley. Same thing!” Kamala gets distracted by the box and gets taken down by a double leg. Another takedown has Kamala in trouble as Heenan sings Doink’s praises. A superkick and some chops have Doink out on the floor but he offers Kamala the present. That’s enough for a countout to end Kamala at 3:20.

Rating: D. I suddenly feel like I’m watching a bad episode of Raw. The box thing was an idea where you could probably guess what was coming as soon as Doink brought it to the ring but what else were they supposed to do here? There’s not much you’re going to get out of a three minute match with these two, but it does make me realize how awesome heel Doink could have been with some more time.

And of course there’s nothing in the box. Kamala beats him down to blow off some steam.

From December 14, 1992 in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

Undertaker vs. Papa Shango

They stare each other down (which Savage LOVES) and Shango grabs him by the throat for a drive into the corner. An uppercut sets up Old School and a slam but since a slam isn’t exactly devastating, Shango knocks him to the floor with a clothesline. For some reason Paul Bearer distracts the referee and Shango uses his voodoo stick to spray sparks in Undertaker’s face. Savage: “We may be about to see the Undertaker’s first defeat!” Savage does remember that Undertaker is a former WWF World Champion right? A chair to the back keeps Undertaker in trouble but three straight slams mean three straight situps. With Shango running out of ideas, he copies Ramon from earlier in the tape with a series of elbows and that’s just not right. Undertaker pops up and hits the chokeslam for a fast pin at 6:30.

Rating: D. Other than the blast of sparks, there wasn’t much else to talk about here. Then again, this isn’t the kind of a tape where you’re supposed to get some big match with big storyline advancement or a major showdown. At the same time, Undertaker vs. Shango is the kind of match that writes itself. I know Undertaker would go on to have a fine career but he was in there with a Hall of Famer. You would expect a slightly better performance, no?

Slick has finally explained the concept of the game to Kamala and even gotten him another ball. Kamala then runs down the alley to knock the pins down, meaning we need another explanation. How bad is it that these are kind of amusing?

From February 1, 1993 in New York City New York.

Battle Royal

Owen Hart, Koko B. Ware, Kamala, Kim Chee, Shawn Michaels, Iron Mike Sharpe, Bob Backlund, Typhoon, Razor Ramon, Damien Demento, Berzerker, Terry Taylor, Skinner, Tito Santana, Tatanka,

From a Raw taping in the Manhattan Center. It’s the usual fighting to start as I’m trying to figure out who the final entrant is. Sharpe is out in short order with Kim Chee running around on the floor. Shawn gets rid of Koko with a heck of a backdrop and it’s back to the brawling as the announcers discuss pillow fluffing. Various people are bent around the corners and Typhoon gets rid of Skinner.

Savage picks Typhoon and JR goes with Kamala while Heenan picks Razor and a few others. Demento is gone with Owen following him a few seconds later. Shawn snaps off some left hands on Santana in the corner and Berzerker is out as well, earning a loud HUSS chant in the process. In a rather dumb move, Chee gets rid of Kamala (his former boss/whatever else you would call Kamala to Kim Chee), who gets back in and beats the heck out of Chee, eliminating him in the process.

Chee runs away into the crowd and the chase is on, eventually heading into the balcony after some more brawling in the ring. Taylor and Backlund were eliminated off camera and Shawn backdrops Typhoon over the corner to get us down to Santana, Michaels, Ramon and Tatanka. Shawn and Tatanka trade lefts and rights in the corner as Santana and Ramon can’t eliminate each other.

The pairs switch off until Michaels gets double teamed to keep him in trouble. A double kick to the ribs gets rid of Michaels so we’re down to three (four if you remember how to count to sixteen) and here’s the Giant Gonzalez, who seems to be the sixteenth entrant. Razor goes underneath the bottom rope and Tatanka and Santana are tossed by the monster. Gonzalez leaves over the top so Ramon can crawl back in to win at 13:18. Heenan: “I WIN AGAIN! I WIN AGAIN!” Savage: “You gotta be ribbin!”

Rating: D-. Aside from Kamala running around the balcony for a funny visual, there’s only so much you can get out of a match like this, especially with such a screwy finish. Ramon was still a relative newcomer at this point so it was a good idea to let him win a match like this. If nothing else, the announcers were hilarious with Heenan changing picks and then claiming the win like only he could do.

From October 26, 1992 in Springfield, Illinois.

Tatanka vs. Repo Man

They start fast with some rope running with Tatanka taking over, even sending him out to the floor. Back in and a top wristlock puts Repo Man down as Heenan explains why it’s a big deal to give Tatanka his first loss. That’s the kind of simple thing that is completely lost on most commentary today and I’d love to see it come back.

Repo Man screams HE’S BREAKING IT during an armbar, with Heenan again explaining that Repo Man might be trying to just get a breather if the referee yells at Tatanka. A legdrop on the arm keeps Repo Man in trouble but he ducks a middle rope crossbody. So he’s repossessing control. Tatanka fights out of a weaker armbar and goes on the war path with the chops. A top rope chop sets up the Papoose To Go for the pin at 7:42.

Rating: D+. Nothing match of course but Heenan’s commentary was actually interesting. Maybe he got bored with the jokes and went with some actual analysis for a change. That stuff was worth listening to and that’s more than you get on most shows. Tatanka was going to become a bigger deal in the upcoming months so this wasn’t really in doubt, but Repo Man’s rantings were amusing.

Back in the alley, Kamala is standing in front of the lane and rocking the ball back and forth….but the ball goes backwards. We’ll go on to the main event for the sake of sanity.

From January 4, 1993 in Beaumont, Texas.

Mr. Perfect vs. Ric Flair

You know Heenan is going to go nuts over this one. They’re a bit slower to start and hopefully they have the time to do something here. Perfect busts out a strut of his own and slaps Flair in the face and there are far too many empty seats in the better seats. A drop toehold sets up another slap and Heenan is losing it. Flair is back up with a ram into the buckle for one of those great Perfect twisting bumps. He’s fine enough to clothesline Flair to the floor as Heenan is trying to convince himself that it’s still early.

Back in and a poke to the eye cuts Perfect off as Savage and Heenan debate Flair vs. Savage from Wrestlemania VIII. As expected though, Flair takes too long to go up top and gets slammed down for two (the classics never die). A shinbreaker sets up the Figure Four (the classics still never die) and Flair grabs the ropes as you would expect him to. The hold is turned over and a rope is grabbed so it’s time for Perfect to slug away on one leg. Right hands in the corner set up the Flair Flip and Flair bails to the floor. Back in and Flair ducks his head for some reason, setting up the PerfectPlex for the pin at 10:50.

Rating: B-. At least the last match on the show is the best, making it a good way to go out. These two always had great chemistry together and their Loser Leaves the WWF match a few days later would be even better. Flair was on his way out of the company at this point but he was still having good matches, which is a lot better than the people who just put it in neutral in their last few matches.

Slick is disappointed by failing with Kamala’s lack of bowling skills, only to have Kamala bowl a strike behind his back. Celebrating wraps us up.

Overall Rating: D+. So yeah nostalgia ruled the day with this one as it’s really not that good. Now at the same time, it’s really not that bad with mainly a bunch of matches that could have served as dark matches most of the time. Some of them were perfectly fine though and the bowling things were so goofy that they were fun. There are far worse Coliseum Videos out there so I’ll take what I can get in something like this.

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