Today we’re looking at one of the hardest hitting wrestlers in history: Stan Hansen.

Hansen got his start back in 1973 so as usual, we’re going to have to jump around a lot. We’ll start in MSG on October 25, 1976.

Stan Hansen vs. Ivan Putski

Hansen is in his usual gimmick of an insane cowboy. Gorilla Monsoon is guest referee for reasons that aren’t explained. Putski goes right after Stan to start and hammers away at the much bigger man (Putski was very short) in the corner. The cowboy is in early trouble and Ivan takes him down for even more punches. Stan finally comes back with an elbow to the jaw and some knees to the back for two. Ivan grabs a headlock for a LONG time, as in for the better part of two minutes. They do throw in a backdrop to keep things from getting too boring. Stan fights up and crotches Putski on the top….for a DQ. Eh it’s a different time.

Rating: D. Again, I know it’s a different time, but a match with almost nothing but punches and a long headlock can’t be considered interesting in any generation. I liked Putski going off on Hansen to start but the headlock was too much for me to take. The DQ works well though as Hansen knew he was in trouble and cheated to get out of it like a good heel should.

Hansen is one of the most famous gaijin (foreigner) in Japanese wrestling history. Here he is against one of the other most famous ones at an All Japan show in 1982.

Terry Funk vs. Stan Hansen

It’s a brawl to start as you would expect with Hansen hammering away, only to have Funk come back with those big left hands of his. They’re on the floor less than a minute in but Stan gets inside while Terry sits on the concrete. Back in and Hansen slams Funk, sending him right back to the floor. Some knees and kicks to the back of Funk’s head have him in even more trouble and he goes outside again. This time Stan follows him and hammers away before Funk scores with some elbows to the head back inside.

They grapple on the mat a bit and the fans are into it, though I have no idea who they’re cheering for. Terry chops away from the mat before nailing a belly to back suplex. Funk pounds Hansen in the head but Stan seems to like it and comes back with right hands of his own. We hit a chinlock from Hansen followed by a suplex for two.

Funk is thrown to the floor where he gets a chair, only to draw Stan outside to make it a real brawl. They head back inside and Funk is ticked off. He sends Hansen into the referee and a second referee takes a lariat from Stan. Someone who looks like Ron Bass runs in to hold Funk for the lariat as the match is thrown out.

Rating: C+. Not a bad brawl here and the feud would continue until Funk’s first retirement match the next year when he brought in his brother to help him fight. This was WAY different than what you were going to get around this time as hardcore and violence was a very rare thing to see. Fun but not great stuff.

Off to the WWC at some point in 1984 with Hansen teaming with his most famous partner against a surprising combination.

Abdullah the Butcher/Carlos Colon vs. Bruiser Brody/Stan Hansen

This is a lumberjack match. Apparently Colon knew he was in big trouble against these guys so he got his archrival to help him out. They double team Brody to start but Hansen comes in with a cheap shot to take over. Butcher gets stomped down by the monsters but drives Hansen into the corner for a headbutt from Colon for two. Stan hammers away on him as well and Carlos is busted open. The monsters start double teaming again but Colon crawls over to make the hot tag to Butcher. Everything breaks down but the lumberjacks come in for the quick no contest.

Rating: D+. This felt like a way to set up something for later but that doesn’t mean this was anything special. From what I can tell this is at the anniversary show, which means you would think it’s more definitive than just having a brawl with the lumberjacks to end things. Nothing to see here but Brody and Hansen looked terrifying.

Some of Hansen’s biggest success came in the AWA and we’ll start at SuperClash 1985.

AWA World Title: Rick Martel vs. Stan Hansen

Martel is defending. This is the next to last match thank goodness. Hansen jumps him to start and they go to the floor as the bell rings. Back in and it’s all Hansen. If I understood right this has a 25 minute time limit. The midgets got 45. Martel sunset flips him for two. Hansen takes him to the mat and chokes away before it’s a big brawl. They go to the floor and Hansen hits him with some chairs and it’s a DQ in about two and a half minutes. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? We’ve had eleven other matches and the WORLD TITLE MATCH gets two and a half minutes? You couldn’t cut one of the six men matches down? I’m done.

Hansen would win the title from Martel soon after this and defended it at WrestleRock 1986.

AWA World Title: Stan Hansen vs. Nick Bockwinkel

Hansen is the champion and evil here. He runs over Nelson for no apparent reason. Hansen normally works for Baba in Japan but is here as champion to give the AWA a boost. They immediately go to the floor with Hansen pounding away. Nelson immediately turns into a super Bockwinkel fan as Nick makes a brief comeback. Hansen kicks him in the face and hooks a chinlock. This is looking wild so far.

Elbow drop gets two for the champion. Bockwinkel takes over on the arm and now Stan is in trouble. Nick tries to fight back with some right hands but they get him nowhere. A sunset flip gets two as the cameraman drops the camera. Off to an armbar as Trongard tells us how great the AWA is. I haven’t mentioned it that often but he says it more often than Cole plugs Twitter. They slug it out, naturally won by Stan, and it’s time for another chinlock.

Trongard spends the entire hold on a speech about how second best isn’t acceptable in the AWA and how they have the best. YOU JUST SAID THAT TEN SECONDS AGO!!! Nick tries to come back and grabs a sleeper, one of his finishers. Hansen gets to a rope though and they fall to the floor. They slug it out a bit out there but then go back inside to punch each other (HARD) some more.

Hansen outsmarts Nick (hard to do) by suckering him into a stun gun for two. Nick blocks a suplex into one of his own for two. It gets two so Nelson says almost only counts in drive-in movies. I think I get what he means there and I don’t think I want to know if I’m right. The referee gets bumped so Bockwinkel’s slam only gets no cover. Crossbody gets the same. Piledriver gets two…and then Hansen backdrops him over the top for the LAME DQ.

Rating: B-. Why am I not surprised? This match was starting to get good and then never mind, because we need to have a screwy finish. As usual, the idea here is simple: give them something to fight over in the form of the title and have two talented guys in there and you’ll get a good match. Bockwinkel would get the title later on when Hansen said screw this nonsense and went to Japan full time.

Here’s a TV match from some point in June 1986.

AWA Title: Stan Hansen vs. Jerry Blackwell

This is from about a month prior and it’s the night before Hansen forfeited the title and it was handed to Bockwinkle. Why are they showing this? I don’t know. They point out everything I just told you, but whatever. This is from Oakland in case you’re wondering. I guess this is from an old TV taping or something? Blackwell weighs about 500 pounds so Hansen is in by far better shape…somehow.

Hansen doesn’t have his vest off yet. Blackwell has a bad ankle apparently. Hansen is busted open. Yeah this is from June 28, but they’re airing it on July 22. Sure, why not? Hansen can’t slam him of course. Blackwell is your standard big fat man that can’t really do much of anything due to his excessive fatness. Hansen is in a bearhug and he’s totally no selling it for the most part.

The referee goes down as Blackwell hits the splash. A boot to the back of the head of Blackwell and he’s down. Another boot shot and he’s getting up. Yeah the more you hit him the more he gets up. Why does this make no sense? Blackwell is bleeding as we’re at about 15 shots with the boot. The new referee comes in and does the incredibly stupid thing and tackles Hansen. After getting his head kicked in, Blackwell gets up after about 20 boot shots and beats up Hansen. What a mess at the end.

Rating: D+. This was a brawl and not a very interesting one. For whatever reason Blackwell was WAY over and that’s about it here. The ending was a mess as this flt like something from a house show or something like that. Nothing good at all here but it was an ok brawl I suppose.

Back to Japan for the AJPW/WWF Wrestling Summit on April 13, 1990 with Hansen in the main event.

Stan Hansen vs. Hulk Hogan

Like I said this was supposed to be Gordy, but that didn’t happen. HOLY CRAP Hansen is freaking nuts! He runs the announcer over, literally. It’s saying a lot when a guy is named after his finishing move. Hogan gets an epic pop for the song called Real American from a Tokyo audience. That’s impressive in its own right.

Anyone that says he’s not the biggest international star ever is freaking NUTS. Austin had a hotter period, but no one has Hogan’s longevity at that spot. Granted his refusal to leave said spot killed WCW, but whatever. Crowd is NUTS for this. This is easily the most into a match they’ve been all night. It’s very rare when Hogan might be the more technically sound of the two.

This is where the Cena knows five moves argument falls apart as Hogan is wrestling a very technical style, hitting his second drop toehold in two minutes, adding in a three quarter nelson. This turns into a brawl, which makes sense as it’s what both men do best. Hogan is dominating, which is very odd indeed. He throws in what would today be called an Angle Slam for good measure. Hansen has done almost nothing at all here.

They hit the crowd for a bit and Hansen is slammed onto a table. Note that it was onto a table and not through it. We’ve been going about 6 minutes here and it has been ALL Hogan. Hansen is busted. He gets a boot in the corner to a MASSIVE pop. Out in the crowd again he gets a chair to Hogan’s head and the big bald man is bleeding. The announcers are having another orgasm as their balls must be aching from having so many here.

Hansen is dominating now and he gets a few shots with the bull rope to Hogan. He calls for the Lariat to a huge pop but Hogan hits a forearm to block. Leg drop misses and Hansen gets two off of that. HOGAN THROWS A FREAKING CROSS BODY! AND IT WAS DECENT!!! After a big boot for a block, Hogan hits a big clothesline for the pin. That came from out of nowhere.

Rating: B-. It was shorter than I would have liked, but to have Hogan dominate the majority of the match and then hit something other than the leg drop for the pin. It was a very nice change of pace. Hogan’s offense wasn’t nearly as great as it’s made out to be, but it’s certainly different and a nice break from what we’re used to. For a main event it was fine, but a few more minutes would have helped it a lot.

It was back to America later in the year with Hansen appearing in WCW at Clash of the Champions XII.

Z-Man vs. Stan Hansen

Stan pulls him to the floor and rams Z-Man into everything he can find. Back inside and some elbow drops have Z-Man in trouble as Ross talks about Hansen’s football career. As the destruction continues, we get an inset interview from Lex Luger who can’t wait for Stan Hansen to come for a shot. Hansen easily stops Z-Man’s comeback attempt and destroys him with the Lariat (hard clothesline) for the pin.

Rating: C. Again, this was more entertaining than good and there’s nothing wrong with that. Stan was an absolute monster and one of the scariest men ever in wrestling due to how insane he was. He would be a bigger deal in Japan and his most successful days in America were behind him, but he was having a very nice run right here and as you would expect, he feuded with Luger over the US Title soon after this.

Off to Halloween Havoc 1990 for a US Title shot.

US Title: Stan Hansen vs. Lex Luger

Luger has held the title for an insane seventeen months coming into this, a record which is about six months longer than anyone else ever. Luger goes nuts on Hansen to start and elbows him to the floor. Back in and Hansen takes it right back to the floor, sending Luger into the post. They head back in (again) and Lex slams him down but gets taken down with a headlock takeover. A charge misses Luger in the corner and Hansen lands on the floor.

Luger rams Hansen into the ramp a few times and heads back in to drop some knees. A snap suplex puts Stan back in control and an elbow drop gets two. Hansen hits a headbutt and bulldog for two. He goes up for some reason but misses an elbow. Luger comes back with a dropkick and pounds away on the challenger.

Elbow drop gets two as does a suplex. Hansen comes back but shoves a referee which doesn’t draw a DQ for some reason. The Lariat misses but Luger hits a clothesline of his own. Here’s Dan Spivey, Hansen’s protege, to throw in the cowbell. Luger avoids that and bulldogs him down. He calls for the Rack but walks into the Lariat for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. The match was a lot of punching and kicking, but to their credit they had Hansen win the title almost completely clean here. The weapon shot didn’t hit, Spivey didn’t touch Luger, the referee didn’t see anything at all and it was the Lariat that got the pin. Hansen would lose the title at Starrcade but this was a good surprise. The match was pretty dull though.

And a rematch at Starrcade 1990.

US Title: Lex Luger vs. Stan Hansen

Hansen is a crazy Texan who took the title from Luger in October in a big upset, ending Luger year and a half reign. This is a Texas lariat match, meaning you’re attached to your opponent by the wrist and you have to touch all four buckles. Hansen jumps Luger to start and hiptosses him down but Luger comes back with right hands of his own. Stan is fine with that and beats on Luger with the rope before choking away in the corner. Lex fires off more right hands and we head to the floor for choking with the rope.

Stan gets in a chair to Luger’s back before they head back inside to slug it out even more. This is much more of a fight than a match. A clothesline puts Hansen down and Luger goes for a cover out of instinct. Instead Luger goes to two straight corners but gets suplexed down before he can get to a third. Hansen wraps the rope around Luger’s neck and drags him around to touch some buckles before Lex breaks the momentum, ending the streak.

Tired of wrestling, Hansen throws the rope around Luger’s neck and tosses him over the top rope to hang him. Well when nothing else works, go for the murder I guess. Back in and Hansen drops an elbow before touching three buckles, only to have Luger pop up with a clothesline. Stan chokes away but they go back outside with Hansen being clotheslined down and sent into the post.

Back in and Luger starts dragging Hansen around but Stan holds back after the third buckle. Lex finally pulls away and gets the fourth buckle but the referee goes down at the same time. Another referee comes out as Hansen starts touching buckles with Luger tied around the throat again. Hansen gets a third buckle as the original referee is waking up. Stan knocks Luger out and touches the fourth buckle to retain the title.

Rating: D+. As usual, these matches become the same thing over and over again: one guy gets close and then momentum is stopped, meaning we have to keep going. Hansen being completely insane helped the match a lot and Luger was still insanely popular, so the crowd was into it. That didn’t stop the match from being rather dull though.

One more WCW match at WrestleWar 1991.

Stan Hansen vs. Big Van Vader

This is a rematch of a match from Tokyo that was thrown out. They immediately start on the ramp and it’s a big brawl. Vader takes him down but Hansen hits a short range lariat. Back into the ring and Vader hits one of his own to take over. Vader hits a corner splash and it’s off to a quick chinlock. Out to the floor and Vader takes him down again with more punches.

In the ring Vader misses a splash in the corner, allowing Hansen to hit a belly to back suplex for two. They go back to the floor and let the weapons loose! Each guy takes a chair shot to the head and Hansen takes over back inside. That lasts about 4 seconds so we head back outside with Vader draping him over the barricade. Hansen drives a knee into Vader and they head back inside for more brawling. Randy Anderson tries to separate them and gets launched to the floor for the double DQ, getting booed out of the building in the process.

Rating: C+. This was nothing like a wrestling match but with stuff like this, having it be a total war with both guys beating the tar out of each other is the right move. The match was fun because Hansen was big enough and psycho enough to hang with Vader in a fight, which is what this was. Good stuff.

We’ll wrap it up with Hansen appearing at ECW Ultra Clash 1993.

Abdullah the Butcher/Kevin Sullivan vs. Terry Funk/Stan Hansen

This is more or less anything goes. Terry goes up the scaffold. It’s a Bunkhouse Match, which was Dusty’s idea of anything goes. No story here it appears but rather just four crazy guys that can fight. Chairs are brought in and it’s Sullivan vs. Funk and the other two fight also. Ok never mind no they don’t. Abdullah throws photographers out of the way to get to Funk. Joey is LOVING this.

They trade off we actually get to the ring. Sullivan and Funk go up the scaffold as I realize how weird it is to see Hansen in America. It’s just not something you see that often. Funk is busted open. Naturally there’s no flow or anything like that and it’s just a wild brawl. Funk gets a chair and blasts everyone with it. Abdullah can barely move but that’s typical for him and not meant as a knock to him.

I’m pretty sure everyone is bleeding now and Sullivan blasts Funk in the head with a hammer. Ok that was insane. That’s beyond FREAKING OW MAN. Abdullah accidently hits Sullivan and Funk goes for a Figure Four on him of all things. Someone with a chair comes in and we actually get a DQ. It’s Eddie Gilbert. Dang I thought he was gone. Funk and Hansen win.

Rating: B+. Totally wild brawl but the DQ ending killed it. This was exactly what it was supposed to be: totally violent with no semblance of order or anything like it. This is the life’s blood of ECW and something tells me this is a Heyman thing. The bunch of run ins after the match ended are practically a trademark of his.

Hansen would stick around Japan for several more years but….I really don’t want to sit through a bunch of thirty minute matches when I think you get the idea. Hansen is a guy that could scare anyone with pure intensity and his popularity in Japan made him one of the biggest stars in the world. He had success in America as well and is still one of the best cowboys of all time. Check him out if you want to see one of the toughest wrestlers of all time.

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Today we’re looking at the greatest heel commentator of all time: Jesse Ventura.

Ventura got his start in 1975 but we’ll pick things up on March 14, 1982 in MSG.

Bob Backlund vs. Jesse Ventura

Ventura is more or less a copy of Billy Graham minus the in ring skill and some of the muscle mass. Ivan Putski, a Polish wrestler, is guest referee here for reasons not explained by the commentary. Ventura, nicknamed the Body, shoves Backlund into the corner a few times and poses. Jesse tries to do it again but the champion is too fast for him, tripping up Ventura and sending him to the floor.

Back in and Backlund pounds away on Backlund’s ribs but it doesn’t seem to have much effect. A slap to the back of Backlund only gets a glare from the champion and Jesse is mad. Backlund starts hammering away and drives an elbow into Jesse’s face before cranking on the arm a bit. Ventura finally gets in a shot of his own and takes over, stepping on Backlund’s throat. The champion is sent into the corner and Jesse chokes even more, showing off the variety of offense that he has in his arsenal.

Putski finally pulls the cheating Body off of Bob so Jesse pounds away at the champion’s head. Backlund fights back with some shots to the head before the two of them collide with Jesse falling on top for two. Jesse chokes away even more and gets a very slow count from Putski. Even the usually neutral McMahon is complaining about the speed. Ventura puts Backlund over his shoulder in the Body Breaker (a backbreaker) but Backlund escapes and falls on top for two. Bob escapes a second attempt and rolls up Ventura for a fast count and the pin to retain.

Rating: D. This was a rather uninteresting match which is the problem with most of Backlund’s matches: unless he’s against a top level talent, he isn’t able to bring people up to the next level. The match was boring for the most part with Ventura only choking and Backlund using very basic offense to make his comeback for the pin.

Jesse was a big deal in the AWA so here’s a fairly big match from Turkey Day Turmoil on December 25, 1982.

Jesse Ventura vs. Hulk Hogan

Jesse bails to the floor to start and then bails some more. Back in and Jesse actually takes over by cranking on the arm and punching at the ribs. The arm gets snapped over the top rope and Jesse keeps the pace as slow as possible. Back in and we hit the wristlock again with Jesse pulling Hogan down by the hair like a villain should. The sequence works so well that they do it again and Jesse sits there to pull on the arm. He snaps it across the top rope again before putting on a hammerlock.

Another snap across the top as we’re somehow nine minutes into this. Jesse wraps the arm around the top rope and walks around a lot but Hogan starts shaking. Ventura dives into a bearhug and Hulk rams him into the buckles. Now it’s Jesse’s turn to have his arm wrapped around the ropes and snapped down. A back elbow puts Jesse on the floor and they fight over a chair for the double DQ.

Rating: D. This took its sweet time to get going but Hogan made up for it by doing the same stuff to the arm that Jesse did to him. To be fair though, Ventura was never known for his in ring abilities and this was a good example of why. It wasn’t a good match or anything but Hogan made the people care.

Still in the AWA for Super Sunday 1983.

Jesse Ventura/Blackjack Lanza/Ken Patera vs. High Fliers/Rick Martel

The High Fliers are Greg Gagne and Jim Brunzell and they’re the tag champions. The heels (Ventura’s team) has Heenan managing them. Martel vs. Patera gets us going. Patera tries to draw him into the corner but Martel is BRILLIANT (Gene Okerlund said so) and wants to keep it in the middle. This is power vs. speed and Martel snaps off some armdrags. Martel takes him down and works on, say it with me, the arm.

Off to Brunzell for some fresh arm work and an atomic drop. Back to the arm and it’s off to Ventura, who is called Mr. V. here. Brunzell grabs the arm and it’s off to Gagne who comes off the middle rope onto the arm again. Ventura easily picks him up and carries Gagne to the corner and brings in Lanza. The size difference here is huge but it doesn’t last long as Martel comes in and is a house of fire.

Martel drags Lanza into the corner but does it so slowly that Ventura falls into the ring from reaching so much. Patera comes back in as does Brunzell and the power man pulls the Flier into the corner. Off to Ventura for a bearhug. Things break down and Gagne comes in to beat up everyone. Martel comes in to help and the Heenan Family is in trouble. Gagne puts a sleeper on Patera but Ventrua makes the save.

It settles down with Lanza and Gagne and Lanza drives his knuckles into the side of Gagne’s head ala Sgt. Slaughter in 1991. Ventura comes in and hits a backbreaker for two. Gagne gets the tag to Martel but the referee doesn’t see it. I’ve always loved that sequence for some reason. Off to Patera for the bearhug again and Gagne is in big trouble. Gagne escapes with a kind of Thesz Press and sends Lanza into the corner and makes another hot tag to Martel.

Rick misses a dropkick and it’s back to Patera for a suplex for two as Brunzell makes the save. Lanza interferes to break up a potential hot tag and comes in legally, only to get kicked in the face so we can get the actual hot tag to Brunzell. He hits his signature dropkick and puts on a Figure Four, called an Indian Deathlock. Everything breaks down and Heenan gets up on the apron, only to get knocked back down again.

Things settle down again and it’s Brunzell backdropping Patera to set up another Deathlock attempt. Patera breaks it up and everything breaks down again. Somewhere in there Patera pins Brunzell as it’s possible that there was a foreign object sent in there by Heenan when he was on the apron.

Rating: B-. This isn’t something that everyone is going to like but I was getting into it by the end. They had every face in there getting beaten down at different times as well as a lot of hot tags. The fans were staying in this too and it was by far and away the best match of the night so far. The High Fliers were exactly what their name said and it worked pretty well for the most part. Good match here.

Still in the AWA at some point in 1984.

Jesse Ventura/Mr. Saito vs. Baron Von Raschke/Kenny Jay

Saito and Jay start things off but it’s quickly off to Baron vs. Jesse. The Baron drops Ventura ribs first over the top rope so it’s back to Saito for some shots to the ribs. Jay comes in to help his partner and walks into a Russian legsweep from Saito. Jesse drops some elbows on the back of Jay’s head before tying him in the Tree of Woe.

Baron comes over for the ave like the wild man that he is and beats up Saito with ease. He follows up on Jesse by ramming him into the buckle over and over before slapping on his Claw hold. Now it’s Saito making a save and Jesse pops back up to slug away at Baron. There’s the over the shoulder backbreaker with Saito coming in with a top rope chop. Baron is busted open and some other guys come in for the save, drawing a DQ.

Rating: D+. The Baron’s energy made this one a lot better and Jesse was just kind of a background character. The ending made the heels look great though and that’s why you have someone get busted open like this. On top of that they kept things quick here instead of letting it drag like the Hogan match.

Off to the WWF with Jesse appearing on the infamous Black Saturday show.

Jesse Ventura vs. Chris Curtis

We’re in Minneapolis here but Jesse is billed from San Diego. He gets a roar anyway as you would expect. Gene and Gorilla are the commentators. The electronic scoreboard says that there’s a car with its lights on. That’s like something out of a joke for some reason. Jesse yells at a Minnesota Viking in the front row.

We start the match and Jesse wastes time. This was his trademark at the time along with all kinds of colors. Jesse keeps yelling at the football player. Again we know nothing about Jesse other than he wears a lot of colorful stuff. Jesse’s offense is very generic to put it nicely. Curtis gets some offense in but runs into a knee in the corner to end that completely. Body Vice (over the shoulder back breaker submission) is the academic win. Another squash.

Rating: N/A. Just a long squash with no context or anything at all like that. Jesse of course dominated and there was no rhyme or reason to it. Jesse is just some dude that beat up a jobber and we know nothing about what he’s done or currently is doing or anything like that. That seems to be a theme here.

Here he is in MSG on August 24, 1984 in one of Jesse’s biggest feuds.

Jesse Ventura vs. Ivan Putski

Putski jumps Ventura on the entrance and the fans are actually waking up a bit here. Ventura hides on the floor for a bit before going back in, only to be shoved right back to the outside. Ivan hooks a headlock and pounds on Jesse’s head a bit before kicking him to the floor again. Back in (again) and Ivan grabs Jesse by the beard to pound away on him even more. Ventura rolls to the floor again as the stalling continues.

The Body puts a top wristlock on the much shorter Ivan and pulls him to the mat by the hair, meaning we can lay around again! Putski fights up and knocks Jesse to the floor but Ventura gets in a shot on the way back inside. Jesse pulls out some kind of foreign object to choke Ivan but of course doesn’t get caught. Ivan steals it away and clotheslines Jesse with it before choking as well. The referee seems to be fine with this. They head to the apron with Jesse hitting him in the throat and getting back in for a countout win.

Rating: F+. You wouldn’t believe this match was twelve minutes long would you? Jesse was a master at doing absolutely nothing in a match but still getting booed and this was no exception. Putski continues to be one of the most worthless wrestlers I’ve ever seen, as he has nothing of note at all and the match was incredibly boring.

We’ll jump ahead a bit more to March 17, 1985.

Junkyard Dog/Andre the Giant/Jimmy Snuka vs. John Studd/Ken Patera/Jesse Ventura

This is two weeks before Wrestlemania and in MSG. Isn’t that pushing things pretty close together? Dog vs. Patera gets us going and the fans are already into it. Andre is in quickly and the dominance begins. Patera is knocked all over the place and Heenan tries to calm him down. Off to JYD again and Patera can barely stand up. Andre runs Patera off again and it all breaks down pretty quickly.

The heels take over and it’s off to Jesse who uses his usual stuff. In kind of a surprise, Jesse tries to ram Dog’s head into the buckle and it works as well as it always does. Here comes Snuka and the fans go crazy. Jesse gets in a shot though and the heels take over. Studd comes in and Andre wants a piece of him but has to wait a few weeks. Off to a bearhug to Snuka and the heels use the old switcheroo to bring back Patera.

Jesse comes in and we complete the trio of bearhugs. Back to Studd who bearhugs him as well. The place is going to erupt when Andre comes in. Jimmy breaks the hold and tags Andre. I was right about the place erupting. It’s a battle of the giants but Patera breaks up the slam. Studd runs and it’s off to Jesse. Everything breaks down and Snuka splashes Jesse for the pin while Andre runs interference.

Rating: D. Very boring match for the most part but the MSG reactions for Andre and Snuka were just great. Those two could do no wrong back then, which is probably what made the heel turn for Andre work so well. Boring match but a good ending which helped it a little bit. The Superfly Splash is always worth seeing.

From MSG on May 20, 1985.

Jesse Ventura vs. Tony Garea

Jesse takes forever to get ready, taking off his earrings very slowly. They get going and Jesse hits him twice to put him down. That‘s more than enough cause for some posing isn‘t it? I‘ve heard a lot of people say Jesse‘s in ring stuff isn‘t that good and I think they‘re onto something. Jesse keeps hitting him in the kidneys and then denying it to the referee.

Now Garea hits Jesse in his own kidneys and then grabs a wristlock. Make that an armbar as we up the difficulty. The announcers imply that Jesse stuffs his tights. To make his legs look bigger you sick freaks. Get your minds out of Jesse‘s crotch. Garea is sent into the ropes and Jesse tosses him over, getting Garea‘s head and neck tied up between them. I know I‘ve seen this before.

After some brief pounding by Jesse, Garea takes over again with some weak stuff. This match is going WAY longer than is should have already. An abdominal stretch doesn‘t work but a sunset flip gets two. Garea misses a charge into the corner and Jesse drops a simple elbow for the pin.

Rating: D-. What was the point of this going about 8 minutes again? Nothing to see here and I don‘t know why this was on there in the first place. Jesse isn‘t much in the ring but he‘s had better matches than this I‘m sure. If not I feel bad for his career. Pretty boring match but the head in the ropes spot looked cool.

Still from the world’s most famous arena on November 13, 1985.

Randy Savage/Jesse Ventura vs. Mario Mancini/Mike Rice

Ventura drives Mancini into the corner for some right hands before it’s off to Savage to start the beatdown. Savage kicks him in the back of the head and pulls Mancini in to stay on the beating. Jesse slams Mancini down and the flying elbow is enough for the pin.

Here’s one of Jesse’s most high profile (and last) matches. From Saturday Night’s Main Event IV.

Jesse Ventura/Roddy Piper/Bob Orton vs. Cousin Luke/Uncle Elmer/Hillbilly Jim

Jim is the most talented of the face hillbilly team. What does that tell you? Piper and Orton say funny things about the hillbillies. He was a total master on the mic in this era. The hillbillies say generic hillbilly stuff. The mat is dark gray and the ropes are mixed up, as in they go blue, red then white. It’s weirder than it sounds. Also, the ring looks TINY. Uncle Elmer and Ventura start. Elmer is REALLY fat.

Wow it’s odd hearing Heenan from this era. It really is. He’s a totally different commentator. He’s still his usual jerky self, but his voice sounds different to put it mildly. Luke…sucks. That’s all there is to it. I mean he sucks HARD. Naturally he gets beaten down for the majority of the match. Piper was still moving in the ring at this time and was far better at wrestling than he was given credit for.

Jesse’s wrestling was underrated. He knew how to sell and could work a crowd really well. Luke gets his head handed to him for a good while. We get the classic ref doesn’t see the tag spot which is one of the easiest ways in the world to get heat on someone. Piper beats up Uncle Elmer, who is like 6’7 and close to 500lbs on his own. It’s rather amusing. We get a melee and after a cast shot to Luke, Piper puts him to sleep to end a glorified squash.

Rating: D. Weak stuff here but like I said, I’d expect a lot of that. There was heat from the crowd, but when the third best in ring guy is Hillbilly Jim, it’s a bad sign. This just didn’t work and felt weak. Jesse wouldn’t be around much longer due to issues from exposure to Agent Orange in Vietnam. Elmer and Luke would be gone because……well I think you get the idea.

We’ll wrap it up with Ventura getting a title shot on February 9, 1986.

Intercontinental Title: Jesse Ventura vs. Tito Santana

Interesting point to start: we’re told that Jesse and Adonis held the tag titles. They did, but they were the AWA tag titles. They said this regularly but it wasn’t something you expect to hear. I think this is in Toronto. Jesse complains about the closed fist because that’s what heels do before punching their opponents. He calls Santana Chico which is always awesome. Jesse keeps getting caught in holds and heading for the ropes.

Time for a wristlock as the fans are almost all behind Jesse. They pop for Tito’s reversal as well though so I guess the Canadians are confused here. Off to a headlock but Jesse gets a knee to the ribs to take over. Out to the floor now and it’s confirmed that we’re in Toronto. Jesse’s offense is pretty basic but he knows how to work a crowd like a master which is more important.

Tito gets in a few punches but Ventura pokes him in the eye to stop him. Win if you can, lose if you must but always cheat. Backbreaker gets two and an atomic drop does the same. Here’s a bearhug which makes sense given the back work that was done earlier. Tito smacks him in the head to escape. Gorilla: “Look at that firey Mexican!” Tito grabs the Figure Four but Jesse gets the rope. They fight up the ramp and Tito puts the Figure Four on out there but Jesse kicks him into the ring for the countout win.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it worked for the most part. It was actually a double countout if you care. This was fine for a house show title defense, especially with someone like Jesse who was a rarity to see in the ring at this point. He knew how to work a crowd but the people loved him which is the right idea.

In the words of Mick Foley, Jesse was a great talent but not inside a ring. People remember him as the heel commentator that ripped on Hogan every chance he got and that’s quite the career to have. Ventura is one of the most interesting people you’ll ever find and wrestling is just a small part of that. Listen to him instead of watching him though.

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ATTEN-HUT! Today is Sgt. Slaughter.

The Sarge got his start in the AWA and NWA in 1972. We’ll join him in the WWF on January 4, 1981 for one of the best matches of all time.

Pat Patterson vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Patterson is in street clothes and the brawl is on as soon as Slaughter gets inside. A series of kicks puts Sarge down and Patterson chokes him in the corner. Slaughter misses a big right hand and hits the post, sending him to the apron. Back in and it’s time for a whipping from Patterson with Slaughter selling it like he’s been shot. Slaughter finally sends him through the ropes and onto the apron to get a breather but Pat is right back with belt shots to the back.

Sarge finally gets in a blow to the ribs and takes the belt before sending Patterson throat first into the top rope. He wraps the belt across Pat’s mouth and rips Patterson’s shirt off for good measure. More choking ensues but Pat charges at the ropes to send Slaughter out to the floor. Slaughter tries to come back in off the top but only hits the mat to put both guys down.

Patterson slams him down and drops a middle rope knee before hitting the same sequence again. He bites Slaughter’s forehead but Sarge kicks him in the gut and drops a few knees of his own to take over again. A kick to the head with the combat boot puts Patterson down again and Slaughter launches him to the floor. Back in and Pat punches at the ribs before catapulting Slaughter into the post, causing his forehead to burst open. It looks like he was stabbed to draw that much blood.

Pat goes after the cut but a low blow puts him back down. Slaughter pulls out brass knuckles but can’t see Pat after knocking him out. His face looks like Ultimate Warrior’s paint job. Patterson is back up and wins a slugout before hitting him in the head with a cowboy boot. Slaughter still has the knuckles on his hand. Another boot shot has Slaughter reeling and a third puts him down. Sarge is knocked into the post and onto the floor where he takes out a cameraman. The crowd is LOVING this. Pat just unloads with the boot until the Grand Wizard (Slaughter’s manager) throws in a towel to stop it. Sarge wanted to keep fighting.

Rating: A. Great great fight here with Slaughter’s blade job being one for the books. This was as brutal as you’re going to get for this era and the fans ate it up. One of the key things here is that Slaughter got to save face at the end with the Wizard throwing in the towel to stop it. Patterson rose up to fight the evil guy, which is what a hero is supposed to do. Great stuff here.

We’ll jump ahead a bit to October 17, 1983, still in MSG.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Ivan Putski

Slaughter is EVIL. LONG stall to start as Slaughter doesn’t want to lock up with him. After about two minutes they lock up and Putski uses one of his signature moves: a headlock. It’s not an 80’s thing. It would still be boring by any standards. We’re three and a half minutes into this and we’ve had a headlock as our entire offense. Putski runs him over and puts on a chinlock. This is going to be really dull isn’t it?

Slaughter gets rammed into the post and Putski is in full control. Sarge finally hits an atomic drop but hurts his own knee on it. He manages to come off the middle rope but that leg is bothering him. This has to be legit as there’s no reason for him to sell like this. Slaughter “charges” at him in the corner but hits the post again head first. He manages to hook the Cobra Clutch but Putski makes the rope. Ivan comes back with a bunch of right hands….and one hits the referee for the lame DQ.

Rating: D. A lot of this was because of the knee injury as it would seem they went home early. That being said, the stuff before the injury was really bad with the vast majority of it being a headlock and punches. The early 80s were never really know for workrate and you can see that here very clearly. Putski just wasn’t that good.

Still in MSG on January 23, 1984, the night Hogan won the title.

Ivan Putski vs. Sgt. Slaughter

We get the shot from the back as Sarge comes out. I miss that camera shot. I think Slaughter is a heel here but he seems rather popular anyway. Putski, who might be 5’8 in heels, starts firing off punches but Sarge bails to the corner. They circle each other a bit more with no contact yet. Putski is small but he is RIPPED (and pretty clearly full of steroids). They finally collide with Putski shoving him around and slamming the Sarge down to stall some more.

Ivan hooks a headlock as Patterson talks about Putski loving to drink and sing. Back to the headlock as this is going slowly again. Slaughter finally comes out with an atomic drop and works on the back for a bit. That doesn’t last long though as Slaughter gets rammed into the top turnbuckle and may have been busted open in the process. Slaughter gets sent shoulder first into the post as Patterson says to stay on top of him. Is that what he got to do after the Alley Fight?

Slaughter reverses a whip into the corner and comes back with the Slaughter Cannon (running clothesline) to take over but he can’t slam Putski. Ivan is billed at 225lbs and Slaughter can’t slam him? The Cannon misses and Putski comes back with the Polish Hammer (double ax to the chest) and a shoulder to send Slaughter to the floor. In a funny bit, Sarge’s chin gets caught on the bottom rope to keep him from hitting the concrete. They fight on the apron and Putski knocks Slaughter back inside, which lets Slaughter beat the count and win by countout.

Rating: D. Another dull match here as is the custom for 1984. Putski just wasn’t that good and he looked freaky to say the least. He was just too muscular for someone his size and it never quite worked. Slaughter would go to the AWA pretty soon after this and stay for years until coming back around 1990 to be the turncoat American.

One more time, on September 22, 1984.

Adrian Adonis/Dick Murdoch/Lou Albano vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Wild Samoans

Before the match Albano says that this is due to him being accused of being a biased referee against the Samoans and the Sarge. Adonis and Murdoch are tag champions. Albano sneaks in a foreign object because that’s what he does. After a LONG stall we’re ready for the opening bell. We finally start with Afa vs. Murdoch and they trade full nelsons. It must drive Murdoch nuts to be in there against Afa as Murdoch was a member of the KKK.

That goes nowhere so here’s Adonis instead. Everything breaks down and Albano walks out like the coward he is, leaving this as a handicap match. Slaughter chases after him but comes back a few seconds later. The tag champions try to ram the Samoans’ heads together which has as little effect as you would expect it to have. Albano is back at ringside as we’ve barely had any wrestling in the first five minutes.

Adonis and Murdoch double team Sika until Albano comes in for some shots with that foreign object. Sika snaps up and it’s very quickly off to Murdoch again as we’re firmly in a comedy match at this point. Dick tries the elbow to the head and injures himself in the process. The tag champions are rammed together and Murdoch gets caught in the wrong corner. Albano is offered a chance to come in and says no way. He claims to have a bad back and sends Adonis in to face Sika.

Actually make that Sarge to a big pop and a knee drop to Adonis’ head. Murdoch is knocked to the floor as well but Slaughter goes after Albano, allowing the heels to take Slaughter down. Murdoch hits Slaughter with something from the announce table and Gorilla is freaking out. Back in and Adonis puts on a sleeper but the Samoans make the save. Off to more triple teaming in the corner and a back elbow to the face for two for Murdoch.

Adonis comes back in with a top rope elbow for two before Dick comes in to rip at Slaughter’s face. Slaughter finally gets in a shot to the face and it’s off to Sika who is dropped with a double back elbow from the champions. Albano comes in for some cheap shots but once again Sika snaps up and Lou runs away. Sika gets in a headbutt on Murdoch and it’s off to Afa. Not that the tag means much though as he is caught in a front facelock by Murdoch.

Adrian slams Sika down for two and hits a missile dropkick (a high spot in this era) for two. A top rope splash misses Afa but Murdoch breaks up a tag attempt. Afa gets in a big headbutt and it’s off to Slaughter as everything breaks down. Adonis gets tied up in the ropes so Sika and Slaughter pick up Murdoch and harpoons him into Adonis’ chest. A dropkick gets one for Slaughter and there are some headbutts by Sika.

Adonis breaks up a near fall and it’s back to Afa. Adrian gets a tag but walks into a bunch of headbutts to put him right back down. Slaughter rams Murdoch’s head into Sika’s and it’s off to Albano vs. Sarge. The Cobra Clutch is quickly put on but Adonis makes the save. Lou brings in the exhausted Murdoch as Sarge and Albano leave. Everything breaks down and Sarge runs in to slam Murdoch off the top for the pin.

Rating: C. This took awhile to get into but once it got going things improved a lot. The story makes sense as the tag champions can hang with the Samoans in a two on two match but when you give them Slaughter against the worthless Albano, Murdoch and Adonis are outmatched. It’s too long at 20 minutes but it’s not as bad as I was expecting it to be.

Slaughter would head to the AWA when Hogan rose to such prominence. Here he is at Superclash 1985.

AWA American’s Title: Sgt. Slaughter vs. Boris Zhukov

Guess who the champion is. Boris jumps the champ to start but Sarge uses the powers of American to get control. The camera jumps to the crowd for some reason. Back to Slaughter destroying Boris, sending the shoulder into the post. They head to the floor and Zhukov slams him onto the mound. Boris controls with basic heel tactics back in the ring. Swinging neckbreaker gets two.

There are three matches left after this one and I don’t think I could take anything longer than that. This show has completely drained me. Out to the floor again and Boris slams him on the announce table. A piledriver out there is countered and Boris is slammed off the top back in. Nelson says the ring shifted an inch and then a foot. Dropkick by Sarge puts Boris down and he loads up the Cannon. The Cannon (short clothesline) hits the referee instead and Boris hits him with a loaded elbow pad. Sarge is busted and as the referee checks on it, Boris shoves the referee for the DQ.

Rating: D+. My mind is numb at this point. These matches mean nothing and we’re getting one cheap finish after another. Also the insane amount of punch/kick matches are making this unbearable. There hasn’t been a single match that I would call good and we’re over two hours into it. This needs to get done because it’s too late to be saved. This match was just another on the pile tonight.

And Wrestlerock 1986.

AWA America’s Title: Sgt. Slaughter vs. Kamala

Slaughter is champion and is WAY over. He’s pretty much the most popular guy in the company, which is why he never got the world title. I mean, Heaven forbid the fans decide who the top guy is. That’s one thing that needs to be remembered about the AWA: yes Vince took a lot of their talent, but it was Gagne that screwed up a lot of stuff. If he had just given the title to Hogan like the people were SCREAMING for, Hogan wouldn’t have left.

Oh yeah the match. As usual with Kamala matches, he uses REALLY boring offense like you would see from any fat guy, including but not limited to chops, something resembling punches, shots to the throat, and a stomach claw. Slaughter makes his comeback, Kamala hits him some more, Slaughter Cannon, Kim Chee runs in for the DQ. Short and nothing of note at all.

And Superclash III.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Colonel DeBeers

This is a boot camp match and AWA vs. AWA. DeBeers is a white supremacist of all things. That’s a gimmick for you. In essence it’s a street fight. Page is with DeBeers here. Big brawl to start as DeBeers is a bit slow. Sarge uses the riding crop a lot but DeBeers takes over a few seconds in. DeBeers chokes with a belt as this slows way down in a hurry.

It’s mentioned that the tag titles didn’t change hands earlier. Sarge takes over again and stomps away a bit. DeBeers is thrown to the floor but it’s not a DQ here of course. DeBeers goes into the post and Page gets in the ring. Back in the Colonel has a helmet that Slaughter brought in with him but can’t manage to use it. Page holds Slaughter up and Sarge moves. A few headbutts to the Colonel with the helmet puts DeBeers down allowing Slaughter to cinch up the Cobra Clutch to end it.

Rating: D. Short and bad here. Sarge would go to the WWF in a year or so and become a huge heel. Other than that though, this was nothing as DeBeers was part of the Team Challenge Series soon after this. Sarge would also but he left halfway through it. Weak match overall though.

Slaughter would come back to the WWF in 1990 but turn his back on America and support Iraq in the Gulf War. This led to a WWF Title match at Royal Rumble 1991.

WWF World Title: Sgt. Slaughter vs. Ultimate Warrior

Gorilla gives a disclaimer, saying that Slaughter and Adnan’s views don’t represent those of the WWF or most of America. If that was anyone other than Gorilla Monsoon, I’d say he wasn’t allowed to speak for America, but Gorilla Monsoon speaks for me. There’s a t-shirt idea in there somewhere. The belt is purple tonight in case you’re wondering. Yeah Warrior went a bit nuts (shocking I know) with having multiple belt colors for some reason. The heels try to attack him with the Iraqi Flag but Warrior will have nothing of it and clotheslines them both down.

Slaughter gets the flag shoved into his mouth and Warrior pounds away. He chokes Slaughter with said flag and chops away in the corner as Slaughter is in trouble. Warrior sends Slaughter into the corner for his over the buckle bump to the floor. Here’s Sherri to trip up Warrior and draw him back up towards the entrance. Savage is waiting on Warrior and beats the tar out of the champion with light fixtures as Slaughter gets a breather.

The Sarge wisely stops the count a few times, allowing Warrior to get back in. Slaughter pounds away in the corner as he starts softening up the back for the Camel Clutch. Apparently the middle eastern moveset comes with becoming an Iraqi sympathizer. The crowd absolutely HATES Slaughter here and boos anything he does. Warrior gets sent into the buckle but they clothesline each other down. Naturally a single clothesline is enough to counteract that long run of offense by Slaughter and get us back to even.

Slaughter gets up first and puts on a bearhug for a LONG time. Warrior breaks it up but walks right into a backbreaker for two. There’s the Camel Clutch but Warrior’s legs are under the ropes. Warrior Warriors Up and beats Slaughter down but here’s Sherri again to frenzy up the crowd. Warrior loads her up in the gorilla press and throws her onto a charging Savage in the aisle. Savage pops up again and blasts Warrior in the face with his scepter, allowing Slaughter to drop an elbow for the pin and the title, STUNNING the crowd.

Rating: D+. The match was dull for the most part but the heat was insane. The crowd audibly calls this BS and you can’t really argue that point. Aside from that, this sets up Wrestlemania really well, as we need a REAL AMERICAN to take the title back. Pay no attention to the fact that the war had already been over by Wrestlemania.

The obvious showdown from Wrestlemania VII.

WWF World Title: Sgt. Slaughter vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan immediately chases Slaughter around the ring until Adnan is put on the floor. Feeling out process to start with both guys going into the corner. Hulk hooks a headlock to no avail but sends Slaughter backwards with a shoulder block. The champ hits one of the weakest chair shots you’ll ever see to Hogan’s back and pokes Hulk in the eye to finally take over. Hogan comes back with a clothesline and decks Adnan for fun too. A backdrop puts Slaughter down and Hulk sends him into the post.

Hogan hits a jumping knee to the back to send Slaughter into the corner and a slingshot sends Slaughter into the buckle again. Hogan gets in his ten punches in the corner for two but goes to the middle rope of all places, but Adnan breaks it up. Slaughter gets slammed down and Hulk drops a bunch of elbows. Now Hogan goes up top (!) but gets slammed to the mat and clotheslined to the floor. A better but still lame chair shot puts Hogan down again and it’s time to work on the back.

A backbreaker gets two for the champion and he stomps away on Hulk’s back. There’s a Boston Crab but Hulk is right next to the rope, making this pretty worthless. Another backbreaker gets two and it’s a third chair shot, this time to the head, gets two more. Hulk is cut over the eye. There’s Slaughter’s Camel Clutch but Hulk fights up, only to be rammed into the corner to send him right back down. Slaughter puts an Iraqi flag on Hogan and you know what’s coming now. A Hulk Up, big boot and leg drop later and AMERICA REIGNS AGAIN!

Rating: C. At the end of the day, if you didn’t know what was going to happen here then you’re either very young or have no idea how wrestling works. On top of the story, it’s Hogan in a match against a big man. What else could you possibly expect? Hogan winning is the 100% right decision and the match certainly isn’t bad. Slaughter was clearly a short term champion and there’s nothing wrong with that either. Decent stuff here and a feel good moment to end the show.

Slaughter and his evil cronies were still not done with Hogan. From Summerslam 1991.

Ultimate Warrior/Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Sid Justice is guest referee and Hogan is WWF Champion. Hogan and Slaughter get things going but the Sarge wants to stall. Slaughter pounds on him in the corner but gets caught between the right hands of both superheroes. Off to Warrior for a clothesline followed by a double big boot to put Slaughter down again. A clothesline gets two for Hogan and it’s back to Warrior. This is completely one sided so far. Hogan comes back in with a middle rope ax handle for two.

Sid breaks up some choking in the corner and the distraction lets Slaughter get in some shots on Hogan. Adnan, an old manager, comes in to rake Hogan’s back and slowly pound away in the corner. Off to Mustafa (Iron Sheik) for the gutwrench suplex and the camel clutch but Warrior makes the save. Slaughter comes back in to choke away in the corner and send Hogan into Sid for a staredown. Sarge jumps the distracted Hogan and stomps away on the back.

Warrior breaks up a top rope something by Slaughter, allowing for the hot tag to the painted one. Warrior cleans house on Slaughter but runs into Sid for another staredown. Back to Mustafa who gets caught in a suplex but Slaughter blocks a tag. Slaughter puts Warrior in a chinlock, only to have the Ultimate One fight up and clothesline Sarge down. There’s the hot tag to Hogan as Hogan chases the lackeys to the back with a chair. More on that later as Hogan throws powder in Slaughter’s face and drops the leg to win.

Rating: D+. I’m not a fan of this one as the match was never in doubt at all, but above that the Iraq War had been over for six months so the interest in the feud was done long ago. Nothing to see here but the fans reacted pretty well to it. This would have been better as a house show main event instead of the main event of Summer\slam. If nothing else there was a match around this time on a Coliseum Video with Slaughter/Mustafa/Undertaker against the superheroes. Wouldn’t that make a much better main event here?

Slaughter would rejoin America and team up with Jim Duggan at SNME #30.

Sgt. Slaughter/Jim Duggan vs. Beverly Brothers

Anyone think this might be a squash? They’re a new team here and it’s an attempt to make Sarge a face again that loved America. The announcers argue over the logic of giving Hogan Flair at Mania and Heenan keeps picking Vince’s arguments apart. This doesn’t even last three minutes and of course the proud Americans win.

Rating: N/A. This was quick and nothing of note. Yep that’s about it.

Slaughter would mostly retire after this point but would be named Commissioner in 1997. DX really didn’t think much of his authority though, leading to this match at In Your House XIX.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. HHH

Anything goes. Slaughter comes out to the same music that Patriot came out to for his PPV appearances. Slaughter pounds on Helmsley with his riding crop to start and pounds him down before stomping away at the ribs. HHH is thrown out to the floor and dropped throat first across the barricade as the match continues its slow start. Slaughter covers for no count, establishing that the fall has to occur in the ring.

HHH goes into the steps and gets kicked into the aisle with Slaughter still in full control. Back inside and Slaughter drops him with the riding crop to the throat before choking away. A clothesline gets two and Slaughter calls for his Cobra Clutch but HHH rolls out of it. Slaughter is whipped into the corner and out to the floor (a signature spot) to give HHH a breather. HHH whips him into the barricade for a little payback before throwing him into the crowd. Back to ringside and HHH chokes away, only to have to duck the Slaughter Cannon (running clothesline) which takes out the timekeeper instead. Slaughter is cracked in the back by a belt and we head back inside. A chain to the jaw puts Slaughter down for two as the timekeeper is taken to the back.

HHH drops the chain for some reason, allowing Slaughter to pick it up and give him a chance. Not that it lasts long or anything though as he is almost immediately backdropped to the floor to keep HHH in control. Back in and HHH goes up, only to dive into a boot to the jaw. Slaughter can’t slam HHH but can hit a suplex to put both guys down. The older guy goes up top but gets slammed down for another two count.

HHH grabs a sleeper for a good while until Slaughter escapes and puts on the Cobra Clutch, only to have Chyna come in for the save. Chyna gets yelled at so she blasts the referee and pulls in a chair. Slaughter sees her coming through and throws powder in her eyes, only to be blasted in the face by HHH’s boot. Another boot shot misses though and Slaughter puts on the Clutch. The referee wakes up to check HHH’s arm but Chyna kicks Slaughter low to break up the hold. A Pedigree onto the chair is finally enough to end Slaughter.

Rating: D. This just went WAY too long, running nearly eighteen minutes. They easily could have accomplished the same goals with about half the time and that’s a problem when you have a retired guy pushing 50 out there. Slaughter wasn’t really worth much here though, especially with Vince as the real boss of the company now.

We’ll jump ahead to Smackdown on March 1, 2000 for a showdown between real Americans.

Intercontinental Title: Kurt Angle vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Angle quickly takes him down to start but gets kneed in the ribs for his efforts. An elbow to the ribs drops Kurt again and there’s the Cobra Clutch. Kurt finally rolls into the ropes for a break and sends Slaughter over the corner for his signature bump. Back in and Angle kicks him down and nails the Angle Slam to retain. Short and ugly.

Slaughter would come back in 2006 and help Ric Flair fight off the Spirir Squad. From Raw on October 2, 2006.

Nicky vs. Sgt. Slaughter

The Squad has had their pants stolen and replaced by female cheerleaders’ skirts. Nicky is more famous as Dolph Ziggler. Slaughter no sells a kick to the face and puts on the Cobra Clutch before offering a little spanking. A gutbuster gets two on Nicky but he sends Slaughter to the floor for a beating. Back in and Nicky puts on a sleeper, followed by a kind of Codebreaker for two. DX pops up on screen and makes fun of the Squad’s attire, allowing Slaughter to get a rollup pin.

Rating: D. What are you expecting here? The Squad being dressed like women was a one off joke and thankfully this was a short match that didn’t make everyone look too bad. Nicky would be the only member of the team to ever mean anything as the rest of the guys were gone in about a year.

Another match, this time answering the challenge of an old school tag team at Vengeance 2007.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Deuce N Domino vs. ???/???

It’s an open challenge here so the challengers are unknown. Deuce says this place is full of old people. Domino doesn’t like them either. This team was either great or completely idiotic. In short, they’re Fonzie from Happy Days. Cherry, their manager, in short is hot. Deuce is more commonly known as Sim Snuka or the guy that kept Taker from breaking his neck at Mania 25. The challengers are Sgt. Slaughter and Jimmy Snuka. Allow me to quote the 25th letter of the alphabet: WHY???????????/

Smackdown Tag Titles: Deuce N Domino vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Jimmy Snuka

Remember that Snuka is Deuce’s father. JBL says if the champions lose then he’s calling Ron Simmons up and reforming the APA. JBL suggests their name could be the Coffin Dodgers. Oh that’s funny. Sarge looks good here and we get a jab at the Ultimate Warrior. They beat the tar out of Domino here as you would expect them to. Again though, this is on PPV in 2007. There’s the Cobra Clutch which is his signature finisher, which always amused me.

The one time he used a different finisher, he won the WWF Title. So naturally he used the old one and never did anything again. This has been dominance so far. Deuce finally comes in and this is dragging badly. Snuka beating up his son is just kind of surreal. I don’t know if I’d want to be in that position or not. Snuka hits a top rope cross body but Deuce rolls through for the pin.

How annoying do you think he’s going to be with that at Thanksgiving? He pinned his HOF dad on PPV. How cool would it be to be able to say that? Post match there’s a beatdown and Martel and Garea jump the railing for the save.

Rating: D-. The match was horrible obviously, but the point here was to have the legends get a chance out there again. That doesn’t make up for it though. This is just not something I want to see on a PPV show. On TV is one thing I guess, but no way this should be on PPV.

We’ll wrap it up with one more appearance at the Great American Bash episode of Smackdown in 2012.

Santino Marella/Sgt. Slaughter/Jim Duggan vs. Hunico/Camacho/Drew McIntyre

Camacho and Slaughter start things off and it’s quickly off to Santino. He gets in trouble in the evil dirty foreign corner and Drew pounds away a bit. A slam is countered and it’s hot tag to Duggan. There’s the Three Point Clothesline but everything breaks down. The ring is mostly cleared and the Cobra gets the pin on Hunico at 2:25.

Sgt. Slaughter is a great example of how awesome a character can be when he’s so simple. Slaughter was little more than a really excited patriot who fought for his country and had a cool voice. He became WWF Champion after being a big deal in the AWA and NWA. If you had him appear today, people would still cheer for him. The G.I. Joe stuff was even more popular and a big crossover deal. He may not be the biggest star ever, but his name is very familiar to a lot of fans.

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Today is Tito Santana for no reason other than there aren’t a ton of great choices today.

Tito got started in the late 70s and was quickly a WWF Tag Team Champion. Here’s a title defense from April 21, 1980.

Tag Titles: Wild Samoans vs. Ivan Putski/Tito Santana

Putski and Santana are champions and their opponents are making their MSG debuts. This would be Afa and Sika, the original Samoans. Putski (who is barely taller than the top rope) starts with Afa. Long stall before we get going and Putski gets a BIG reaction for pushing Afa into the corner. They trade full nelsons and we get heel miscommunication. Everything breaks down and the Samoans are rammed together.

Putski tries a double noggin knocker which gets him nowhere at all. Off to Tito vs. Afa now and the Samoan growls a lot. Maybe he wants a taco? The champions work on the leg without tagging. What great role models. They take turns stomping it and I think Tito kicked him low at least once in there. The leg work continues and more or less it’s just kicks to the leg of Afa. The idea of holds seems to be lost on the champions.

Just as I say that of course, Putski hooks onto a weak leg lock. He doesn’t tag Tito but Santana comes in anyway. The referee does a lot of not paying attention. Afa kicks Ivan away so Putski pounds him down and tags in Santana again. It’s very strange to see the faces in such long lasting control. Afa hits Putski very close to the groin and headbutts him down. There’s the tag after almost nine minutes of pounding.

Sika comes in and things continue to go slowly. Off to some choking which doesn’t last long at all. Putski fights up but Sika elbows him right back down. The Samoans hit a double clothesline and Putski is in trouble. We get the unseen tag to Santana which gets them in trouble this time. You would think that would be a heel move but here the champions did it. Nice change of pace at least. The second attempt at the tag works and everything breaks down. Afa crotches Tito on the top rope and that’s a DQ apparently.

Rating: C+. Best match of the night so far with both teams going at a pretty fast pace. The heel in peril idea was definitely interesting and having them go wild and get disqualified at the end was a nice choice as it fits their crazy men mentality. Good little match here which probably set up a gimmick mater later on.

For the sake of time we’ll skip ahead a bit to what is probably Tito’s most famous feud. He won the Intercontinental Title from Don Muraco and started feuding with Greg Valentine over the title in one of the best feuds of the 80s. From August 25, 1984 in MSG.

Intercontinental Title: Tito Santana vs. Greg Valentine

Tito is defending. Valentine tries to take it to the mat but Tito is too quick for him and it’s a standoff. Tito tries the same thing and it’s another standoff. Santana hooks a headlock into an atomic drop and Valentine begs off. A back elbow puts Tito down and there’s a shoulder breaker followed by a forearm to the face for two. Valentine pounds away but Tito comes back for a slugout to take over. We cut again to Jimmy being taken out on a stretcher.

Back in the ring and Valentine has Tito in a reverse chinlock but he counters into….something as we cut back to Snuka being wheeled out. Greg pounds away on the back and neck before getting two off a belly to back suplex. Valentine keeps on the ribs but Tito gets in a shot to the Hammer’s ribs to escape. Santana tries a leapfrog but takes out the referee instead. There’s the flying forearm for the pin on Valentine, but the referee misses the foot being on the rope.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but it was designed to set up another match later on which is fine. These two had some insane chemistry and with some more time and more of a focus on the match, they could have had a FAR better match. Either way, decent stuff here and a good way to get the fans to want to come back later. Tito would drop the title to Valentine a month later.

Post match Valentine puts Tito in the Figure Four and cranks on the knee something fierce.

Tito is in the back and says his knee is hurt. He sounds like he’s in labor. Tito says he’ll be back for Valentine and he’ll defend the title in 30 days.

Valentine is very pleased with himself and what he did to Taco Bell Santana.

We’ll get back to them in a bit, but first it’s time for Tito to start it all. This is the first match ever in the history of Wrestlemania, and therefore the first match I ever reviewed.

Tito Santana vs. Executioner

Executioner is Buddy Rose (of Blow Away fame) under a mask. Tito is WAY over here in MSG so he was a good choice to open things up. We start with a crisscross before Tito dropkicks Executioner out to the floor. Back in and Santana hooks a headlock to take Executioner to the mat as we’re still waiting on that promised leg work. Tito charges into a boot in the corner and Executioner takes him down with a knee to the ribs. A spinning toe hold is easily escaped so Executioner goes after the other leg. So which one is injured in the first place?

Tito shrugs him off and the masked guy hides in the corner. Since it’s a corner that Tito is looking straight at, the hiding doesn’t go all that well and Tito slugs him down. Executioner comes back with a slam and goes up, only to be slammed right back down. A Santana splash hits knees though and we get to the knee work. That work consists of one cannonball down onto it before Tito kicks him to the floor. Back in and the forearm sets up the Figure Four to make Santana the first winner in the history of Wrestlemania.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t too bad and the crowd reacted well to Santana, but Executioner was just a guy there to be evil. For an opening match this was a pretty good idea but for a match in general it was pretty lame stuff. Then again they have no idea what they’re doing at this point so it’s understandable.

Back to Valentine, who has since stolen the title. Here’s one of their many rematches inside a cage from July 6, 1985.

Intercontinental Title: Greg Valentine vs. Tito Santana

In Baltimore here and in a cage. Tito drags him into the cage and it’s on. No commentary again with Gorilla doing the voiceover. Valentine goes for the door early but Tito makes the save. This should be good either way. Both try to get out and can’t do it as the other grabs his foot. Valentine keeps trying to run which makes sense. I’m not entirely sure if I get why Tito keeps trying to run as this is supposed to be his big revenge match. I guess getting the title back is enough revenge for him.

Shoulder breaker by Valentine but you would think he would go after the leg but whatever. Escape only here if I didn’t mention that. I like the old school thoughts on cage matches like that too as pins in a cage match are kind of stupid when you think about it. Tito blocks the Figure Four as the violence is a bit low here. Gorilla points out that the figure four is a bit stupid as you can’t win by submission which makes sense to a degree I guess.

Flying forearm by Tito takes Greg down. Tito goes into the cage as this is very much back and forth. Very slow paced match but they’re hammering away in there and it’s working well I think. It’s very weird to see the match presented like this as the ring is only kind of microphoned here so you don’t here the ring make any noise at all.

This is more about the cage itself as this is back in the day when a gimmick match still meant something and wasn’t more or less something you throw in as a free prize in a cereal box. Tito gets a leg over the top but still can’t get out. Make that both legs out as Valentine is going for the door which Tito kicks on his head to get out and get the title back.

Rating: B-. This was more about the aura of the cage rather than the guys in there. Tito gets the title back and gets his revenge by beating on Valentine very well. This wasn’t a classic or anything but it was definitely a good conclusion to their feud which was always good. This worked.

Valentine destroys the belt afterwards but Tito saves it. I think this resulted in the new design coming in. Gorilla calls it the Intercontinental Heavyweight Championship of the World.

Here’s a title defense from February of 1986.

Intercontinental Title: Jesse Ventura vs. Tito Santana

Interesting point to start: we’re told that Jesse and Adonis held the tag titles. They did, but they were the AWA tag titles. They said this regularly but it wasn’t something you expect to hear. I think this is in Toronto. Jesse complains about the closed fist because that’s what heels do before punching their opponents. He calls Santana Chico which is always awesome. Jesse keeps getting caught in holds and heading for the ropes.

Time for a wristlock as the fans are almost all behind Jesse. They pop for Tito’s reversal as well though so I guess the Canadians are confused here. Off to a headlock but Jesse gets a knee to the ribs to take over. Out to the floor now and it’s confirmed that we’re in Toronto. Jesse’s offense is pretty basic but he knows how to work a crowd like a master which is more important.

Tito gets in a few punches but Ventura pokes him in the eye to stop him. Win if you can, lose if you must but always cheat. Backbreaker gets two and an atomic drop does the same. Here’s a bearhug which makes sense given the back work that was done earlier. Tito smacks him in the head to escape. Gorilla: “Look at that firey Mexican!” Tito grabs the Figure Four but Jesse gets the rope. They fight up the ramp and Tito puts the Figure Four on out there but Jesse kicks him into the ring for the countout win.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it worked for the most part. It was actually a double countout if you care. This was fine for a house show title defense, especially with someone like Jesse who was a rarity to see in the ring at this point. He knew how to work a crowd but the people loved him which is the right idea.

Santana would lose the title less than a week later to Randy Savage. With his singles run over for the time being, it would be off to a tag team with Rick Martel, known as Strike Force. Here’s a title shot against the Hart Foundation from October 1987.

Tag Titles: Strike Force vs. Hart Foundation

I’ve actually never seen this. Gene pops up to say the titles change hands. Nice guy that bald one. This is on Superstars and is more or less a token title defense. Martel vs. Bret to start as we keep things Canadian. Double elbow and down goes Bret as Tito goes to that armbar which he likes apparently. O’Connor Roll is countered as Tito’s head is rammed into the mat rather hard.

Neidhart comes in and they slug it out. Surprisingly enough it’s about a draw and cheating gives the champions the advantage. Backbreaker by Bret gets two. I couldn’t think of a way to say “gets two” where both words started with two. Darn the luck. Vince says it would be a shame if this ended in controversy. It’s kind of interesting to know what we know about him now and wonder if he’s saying “screw this up and you’re fired.”

More double teaming puts Tito on the floor and gets two back in the ring. Tito almost gets the tag but Bret breaks it up in a great heat drawing move. The move that Demolition would use as their finisher gets two. Bret misses an elbow and this is Santana’s chance. I hope he’s a better wrestler than guitar player. Never been a fan of him. That joke failed didn’t it?

No tag yet as this is pure 80s tag formula. Tito reverses an Irish whip (from a Canadian to a Mexican of all things) and Bret gets to do his chest first bump into the corner. Double tag and the crowd is on fire, much like Martel. Cross body gets two on Neidhart as everything breaks down. Double slam to Anvil and the Boston Crab goes on Neidhart who gives up almost immediately and we have new champions to a big old pop.

Rating: B-. Standard 80s tag formula here but good talent and timing plus a very hot crowd are enough to make this a pretty solid outing. Also I always liked Strike Force so that helps a lot. They would hold the belts until Mania, and yet they were transitional champions. This is in October, meaning their reign was almost six months. Nice transitional reign no?

They would hold the belts for about six months before dropping them to Demolition. Tito would go back to singles matches, including this match against Rick Rude from February of 1989.

Rick Rude vs. Tito Santana

This should be good. Back in MSG again. Wait according to Trongard this is Boston. It looks like Boston so we’ll go with that. We start with a test of strength that is more or less a tossup. Tito eventually wins it and then wants a rematch when Rude runs. Rude takes the chance to of course cheat and we finally get to a more traditional match.

Rude is cussing a good deal in this one. Tito works on the back as this is very back and forth stuff. After a long camel clutch by Tito, Rude treats him like Arn Anderson and spins over to drive his knees into Tito’s crotch to take over. This has somehow been going on nearly ten minutes. The time has flown by which is good I think as it hasn’t been boring at all.

We’ve had a lot of rest/time killing holds and we get another hear with the chinlock by Rude. Tito fights to his feet and rams him into the corner but runs into a big boot to take care of that. Rude pounds away but Tito rams his head into the mat to take over again. Solid stuff so far. And there’s another pair of knees to Tito’s lower half. That has to be getting old.

Tito blocks a suplex to get one of his own. Due to this, Rude can’t even get a slam on Tito who isn’t an incredibly big guy in the first place. Crowd is WAY into this. Tito is all fired up and hits the head knocker and it’s Figure Four time! So much for that though as the rope is reached maybe 4 seconds later. In a cheap ending, Tito hits the floor and goes for a sunset flip but Rude grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: B. This was a better grade before the bad ending. They went back and forth the whole match and it worked well the entire time. The ending felt incomplete for lack of a better term. Both guys were great here though and the back work by Santana worked rather well for a change. Solid old school match that had the time to develop which is always a perk.

Tito would drop down the card pretty quickly but would still get a PPV spot at Summerslam 1990.

Warlord vs. Tito Santana

Piper makes Mexican jokes as Tito grabs a headlock. Warlord easily shoves him down and Piper suggests going for a taco. Three straight dropkicks send Warlord out to the floor for a consultation with Slick. Back in and Tito pounds away but is launched to the outside on a kickout. Warlord rams Tito’s back into the post as Piper does a horrible Slick impression. Back in and Warlord pounds on the back but Tito fires off a quick clothesline and right hands. The flying forearm hits out of nowhere but Warlord gets his foot on the ropes. Back up a few seconds later and a powerslam abruptly ends Tito.

Rating: D+. Tito was a jobber to the stars at this point and made Warlord look as good as he could have, but the match was nothing special at all. Warlord just wasn’t all that good other than having muscles on top of muscles. Tito also jobbed to Barbarian at Wrestlemania so they had an idea of what they were using him for at this time.

Here’s a very rare match that took place in Spain in October of 1991.

Undertaker vs. Tito Santana

Tito is of course ungodly over as he hammers away in the corner. Undertaker no sells a ram into the buckle but Tito kicks away in the corner. Tito cranks on the arm and gets two off a sunset flip before the monster sends him into the corner. That’s fine with Santana as he jumps up to the middle rope and comes off with a clothesline, followed by a second one to put Undertaker outside.

The dead guy is sent into the steps but shrugs it off thanks to the powers of the urn. The announcers (in Spanish) are talking about eating pizzas for some reason. Back in and Undertaker slowly hammers away while Paul Bearer says OHHHHHHHHH YES a lot. Tito can’t slam Taker and gets punched in the face for his efforts. A slam puts Tito down but he misses an elbow drop. Old School is countered and Tito loads up the flying forearm but Undertaker pulls the referee in the way.

Taker goes aerial with a jumping kick to the back of the head and a side slam for no cover. With the referee still down, Undertaker busts out a body bad and puts Tito inside. Because he’s an Undertaker you see. Since this takes about 19 hours, Tito is able to fight out and put Undertaker down with a quick piledriver. Taker gets up so there’s a second piledriver followed by a third. Tito steals the urn and knocks out Undertaker for the BIG upset and Undertaker’s first pinfall loss, which of course was never mentioned on American television.

Rating: C-. The match took so long to get anywhere that it was annoying, but at the same time that was Undertaker’s character at the time. This was the same idea as having Hogan lose to Jacques Rougeau in Montreal. It gave the fans a way to be sent home happy (naturally this was the main event) and it worked well as the roof blew off the place for the pin.

Here’s one more WWF match for the road. From Wrestlemania VIII as Tito is now El Matador.

Tito Santana vs. Shawn Michaels

Tito is El Matador now and Shawn is freshly heel. Bobby says Reba is Tito’s sister: Arriba McIntyre. Say it out loud and you’ll get the joke. After taking forever to get Sherri to the floor, Tito gets a fast two off a cross body. They head to the mat for a headlock on Shawn which doesn’t last long. Michaels avoids a punch to the face but gets clotheslined out to the floor instead.

Back to the chinlock which doesn’t go anywhere this time either, so Shawn takes over in the corner. That also goes nowhere so Santana punches him in the face and takes it right back to the mat. Shawn finally comes back and pounds away even more, this time sending Tito out to the floor. A backbreaker gets two for Shawn and we hit the chinlock again, this time by the future world champion. Santana fights up but walks into the superkick for no cover.

The Backdrop Suplex (Shawn’s old finisher) is countered and there’s the flying forearm to send Shawn to the floor. Back in and a slingshot forearm puts Shawn down again as does a big atomic drop. Tito’s forearm to the back of the head sends Shawn to the outside again, only to have Sherri trip Tito up on a suplex attempt to give Michaels the pin.

Rating: C. This was ok but it was a lot of kicking and chinlocks for an opening match. Tito was good for giving you a guaranteed decent performance out there, so putting him against Shawn was a good move for the most part. The match wasn’t great or anything but it did a decent job at what it was supposed to do.

We’ll leave the WWF and head to WCW/AAA for When Worlds Collide in 1994.

Tito Santana/Pegasus Kid/2 Cold Scorpio vs. La Parka/Blue Panther/Jerry Estrada

This is IWC vs. AAA. Pegasus Kid you know as Chris Benoit and yes that’s the same Tito Santana you’re familiar with. Estrada is a brawler, Panther is a masked guy and captain and La Parka is La Parka. Scorpio is starting us off but Estrada and Parka fight over who starts. Instead it’s Panther who takes Scorpio to the mat to a HUGE pop. I’m a big Scorpio and Santana fan so I think you know which team I like here.

Off to Benoit vs. Parka. The Parka team is WAY more popular as they’re technically the hometown team. Santana comes in but Estrada and Parka fight over who gets to face Santana. Tito in black trunks is an odd sight to see. Also this is just Tito, not El Matador. Mike says Tito is clearly the weak link on his team. That’s not exactly what I’d say but he’s the Professor.

Parka won’t tag in, ticking Estrada off even more. Benoit and Panther come in to speed things way up and Benoit hits a huge suicide dive to the floor. Benoit is the captain of his team so if he loses it’s over. Scorpio and Parka come in and try to out overdo it. They slug it out but neither guy can take over. Parka fakes taking a low blow and both guys hit the floor. That allows Estrada vs. Santana to come in. Remember that’s legal here.

Estrada is sent to the floor and it’s off to Benoit vs. Panther again. They’re both in blue so that works out well. Benoit hooks the snap suplex but an elbow misses. Parka is tagged in and he walks along the apron for a bit first. The Canadian hits a German on the Mexican and it’s back to Panther again, this time against 2 Cold. They look like their chemistry is way off at times in this.

A powerbomb puts Parka down but Estrada comes in, breaks it up, kicks Parka a bit for good measure and now the heels can’t figure out who to get in. Ok so now it’s Tito vs. Panther. Benoit comes in but misses the swan dive. Scorpio misses his huge moonsault as well. I get why Panther is a champion. La Parka and Estrada fight over who gets to cover Scorpio so it’s back to Panther again.

Parka sends Santana to the floor and sets to dive but hits Estrada of course. Scorpio hits a big dive to take everyone out. Panther misses a moonsault so Benoit hits a Matt Hardy legdrop for two. Panther tries a powerbomb on Chris but Benoit rolls through into a rana for the pin and ZERO reaction, which also might be a cultural thing.

Rating: C. I liked it a little better than the previous one but it’s no classic or anything. The idea here was two different styles and in that theory it worked. At the same time though, the tagging thing isn’t something I can get used to inside of an hour, which is how long this has been going on. It was fine but it’s something I think I’d like a lot more if I watched lucha libre more often.

 

We’ll wrap it up with an indy match from East Coast Wrestling in September 2007.

Bobby Roode vs. Tito Santana

Roode armdrags Tito down to start and bounces around on his feet like Brock Lesnar. He snaps off a hiptoss and shouts 2-0. Tito comes back with a rollup and some armdrags, sending a swearing Roode bailing to the floor. Back in and Roode offers a handshake and crosses his heart that he won’t jump Santana. Tito is skeptical and spends the next two minutes thinking about it. Roode’s kick to the stomach is caught and he gets shouldered to the floor where an army of nine year olds tells him he sucks.

Roode starts to walk away but eventually comes back in to stomp on Santana. Some elbows to the chest have Tito in even more trouble. We hit the chinlock with the referee accusing Roode of a hair pull. Roode: “No I didn’t!” Referee to the crowd: “Did he?” Roode: “Oh shut up!” Bobby lets go of the hold and rips at Santana’s face before choking a bit. Off to a neck crank but Tito’s arm only drops twice. He fights up but we quickly hit the sleeper with Roode insisting that he has Tito now. The holds lasts a good while again until Tito fights up and hits the forearm for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D+. We’ll put this in the same “send them home happy” group. Yeah the match was boring and about five minutes of it was spent in a chinlock or some variation thereof, but Tito was in his mid-50s here and wrestled about once a month. It’s a pretty lame match, but the house show style is fun to see for the little stuff like the arguments with the fans.

Tito is one of the smoothest guys you’ll ever see in wrestling. He could do almost anything asked of him and would be perfect for a midcard show stealer. Throw him in the main event for the title against say Savage in 1988 for the title and I’d bet money he would have the crowd totally buying the near falls at the end. I’ve called Kofi Kingston the Tito Santana of modern times and there’s nothing wrong with that. He’s a very talented guy who will dominate the midcard for awhile but never quite be at higher level. That’s not a bad thing, contrary to what people seem to think.

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