Impact Wrestling – May 11, 2023: The Way I Like My Impact

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 11, 2023
Location: Cicero Stadium, Cicero, Illinois
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

We are inching closer to Under Siege and the World Title situation is looking interesting. PCO is scheduled to challenge Steve Maclin for the title and that is not exactly sitting well with the champ. Other than that, we have some matches rapidly being set, with Trinity possibly being added to the card. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Masha Slamovich vs. Killer Kelly

Kelly crawls around to start and rolls a kicking Slamovich up for two. Back up and Kelly knocks her to the floor without much trouble, setting up the running kick to the chest. Some clotheslines drop Slamovich again, followed by a delayed release fisherman’s suplex for two. Slamovich runs her over and rips at Kelly’s face for a bit.

We hit the reverse chinlock but Kelly powers up and sends her into the corner for the break. Some Al Snow trapping headbutts set up a suplex into the corner, followed by a German suplex for two. Slamovich kicks her in the ribs for her own two, setting up a sunset driver for another near fall. Kelly shrugs it off and hits a Death Valley Driver, setting up the Killer Klutch. Slamovich is up with a rope walk and flips back onto Kelly for the pin at 8:42.

Rating: C+. Good stuff here, as Kelly continues to impress. Slamovich needed the win more here though, as she has fallen mostly through the floor in recent months. The talent is there, but at some point you have to win something. The same is true for Kelly, though she has never had the big opportunities that Slamovich has already earned. Nice opener here, and a change of pace from the usual fast paced starts to the show.

Kenny King gives Sheldon Jean a pep talk before his match.

We look back at Trinity’s debut last week.

Trinity wants the Knockouts Title and has an open contract for Under Siege. Jai Vidal comes in and grabs a quick photo, much to Trinity’s confusion.

Nick Aldis vs. Sheldon Jean

Kenny King is on commentary. Aldis headlocks him down a few times but it’s too early for the King’s Lynn Cloverleaf. They head outside with King offering a distraction so Jean can get in a cheap shot to take over. Back in and a side kick gives Jean two but Aldis fights up without much trouble. A Michinoku Driver gets two on Jean but he catches Aldis on top. With that broken up, Aldis drops the top rope elbow and the King’s Lynn Cloverleaf is good for the tap at 3:30.

Rating: C. Jean is decent enough to be one of the new designated jobbers whose name we know, though that might not have the longest shelf life. This was of course all about Aldis though, who looked fine in his return. That being said, at some point he is going to have to show that he can be more interesting and that has been an issue for him for years.

Dirty Dango and Joe Hendry are talking about who attacked Santino Marella when Johnny Swinger and Zicky Dice come in. Hendry and the two goons accuse each other, setting up Swinger vs. Dango. Well, after they call Santino to make it official. With the villains gone, Dango invites Hendry to his birthday party, where Hendry would be the only guest. Ok then.

We get part three of the Frankie Kazarian interviews, this time talking about his return and quest to become World Champion. Last year he won the X-Division Title again and used Option C but came up short again, though the World Title is still a goal. We talk about the various things he has done, many of which had nothing to do with the title. He is willing to fight anyone around, and now he’s the veteran, which is a spot that he loves to have. This really didn’t tell us much, but getting to know wrestlers a bit more like this is a great idea and that has been the case here.

Decay vs. Good Hands

The Hands introduce themselves and mock the Chicago Cubs like good villains should. Skyler and Steve start things off, with Steve taking him down for a neck crank. Taurus comes in for a modified What’s Up, followed by the running hurricanrana. Steve’s monkey flip is broken up though and a cheap shot (Tom: “Steve was blindsided!” The guy is legally blind so that’s not nice.) lets Hotch take him down again.

Steve’s double finger bite doesn’t work and it’s a belly to back suplex to cut him off. Steve Downward Spirals his way out of trouble, allowing the hot tag to Taurus. With Brian Myers coming out to watch, Taurus cleans house and everything breaks down. Steve dives onto Skyler but gets dropped by Myers. A Stunner over the ropes staggers Taurus into a middle rope G9 (Samoan drop/Blockbuster combination) for the pin at 5:09.

Rating: C+. Kind of a slow match but Myers hooking up with the Good Hands is a better move than having them work for Bully Ray, so they did something smart. Decay losing is a little weird, but it’s a fine enough way to establish the new unit. The Good Hands are, well, good hands, so there should be a place for them for awhile.

Post match Myers poses with the Good Hands.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Sarita/Taylor Wilde b. Beautiful People to win the Knockouts Tag Team Titles.

Steve Maclin is sick of Champagne Singh and Shera screwing up so he fires both of them. Singh and Shera have an idea.

Post break, Singh and Shera jump Heath.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Rhino vs. Steve Maclin

Maclin is defending and we get the Big Match Intros for a nice touch. They hit the stall button for a bit to start before trading arm control. Rhino powers him into the corner and Maclin has to stop for a breather. Some chops into a hiptoss look to set up the Gore but Maclin bails to the floor. That’s fine with Rhino, who crotches him on the barricade, only for a Stunner over the top to cut Rhino off.

Back in and Maclin goes after the leg, with some rams into the apron to make it worse. The middle rope headbutt misses for Maclin though and the slugout is on. Maclin is taken up top for a superplex and a near fall, leaving both of them down. Another Gore is loaded up but Maclin cuts out the leg again in a smart move. Maclin hits his own Gore for the pin to retain at 9:00.

Rating: C+. It was a bit of a slow match but Maclin gets a nice defense under his belt before he has to move on to PCO. Working on the leg was a good enough way to keep the match going and Maclin using the Gore was an even better touch. Maclin might not be the most interesting champion, but he had a perfectly fine title defense here.

Post match Maclin goes after the knee again and takes it out with a chair. Maclin isn’t done though as he wraps the chair around the leg and smashes it with a shovel. That’s FINALLY enough to draw out referees to break it up.

During the break, Rhino was taken out on a stretcher and into an ambulance, with Scott D’Amore there to watch. Maclin pops up and gets in a shouting match with D’Amore, who makes the Under Siege match against PCO No DQ. PCO appeared for the brawl and Maclin ran off.

Here is Joe Hendry for a chat. He was talking to Michael Jordan, who gave him some advice, but Hendry is the expert on wrestling. Hendry is here to hear them say WE BELIEVE and then introduces Dirty Dango.

Dirty Dango vs. Johnny Swinger

Joe Hendry and Zicky Dice are here too. Dango slugs away to start but gets choked on the rope for his efforts. Swinger stops to strut though, allowing Dango to block a stomp to the chest. A Falcon Arrow finishes Swinger at 1:16.

The Design is still mad at Sami Callihan and promises more suffering. The Army Of Violence comes in but Sami is there in disguise and chaos ensues. Much like this horrible story.

Moose isn’t sure what Brian Myers is up to with the Good Hands but doesn’t seem to like the idea. With Moose gone, Myers says he wants the Hands to become a team, so he’ll mold them into champions.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Deonna Purrazzo/Jordynne Grace vs. The Coven

The Coven is defending. Purrazzo and King trade waistlocks to start before Purrazzo’s running hurricanrana takes her down. An armdrag into an armbar has King down and it’s off to Grace for a double hiptoss. An assisted moonsault gets two on King but Grace gets sent into the corner for an elbow to the face.

Grace elbows her way out of trouble but the Grace Driver is blocked. The Vader Bomb connects instead and we take a break with King in trouble. Back with Purrazzo kicking and dodging her way out of the corner, only to get dropped hard onto the apron. The slow beating continues, with Wilde choking in the corner and on the rope. Purrazzo fights out of the front facelock and kicks her way to freedom, allowing the hot tag off to Grace.

House is quickly cleaned until we settle down to Grace jumping over Wilde in the corner. Grace catches her in the corner and hits a MuscleBuster for two, with King making the save. Everything breaks down again and Grace is sent into Purrazzo by mistake, allowing Wilde to get two. With Purrazzo down, a Hart Attack (pump kick instead of clothesline) finishes Grace to retain at 14:29.

Rating: B-. The extra time helped here and the Coven continues to grow into a more respectable team. They already feel like the best team in Impact but given the rather shallow competition, that still leaves them with a lot to cover. For now though, beating two singles stars and keeping the Knockouts Title feud going is a good use of fifteen minutes in the main event.

Post match the Coven goes after Grace but Trinity runs in for the save. A lot of posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was the Impact that I like: they had a bunch of stuff they wanted to cover and then did just that. It’s very nice to see them have an efficiently run show like this one which had enough good wrestling to keep me invested and nothing bad to hold it down. Nice work this week, and that is always good to see.

Results
Masha Slamovich b. Killer Kelly – Rollup
Nick Aldis b. Sheldon Jean – King’s Lynn Cloverleaf
Good Hands b. Decay – Samoan drop/middle rope Blockbuster combination to Taurus
Steve Maclin b. Rhino – Gore
Dirty Dango b. Johnny Swinger – Falcon Arrow
The Coven b. Jordynne Grace/Deonna Purrazzo – Pump kick/spinebuster combination to Grace

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – April 13, 2023: Worth Filing Out For

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 13, 2023
Location: St. Clair College, Windsor, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

The road to Rebellion end this week and that means it is time to finish off the build towards the show. In this case it means we are going to be seeing more build towards the new World Title match of Kushida vs. Steve Maclin. This week will also see what happens with Mickie James and the Knockouts Title. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Kenny King vs. Frankie Kazarian

The winner gets the advantage in the Hardcore War at Rebellion and the other teams are at ringside. They fight over a lockup to start until Kazarian snaps off some chops. King cuts him off though and starts hammering away in the corner to take over. A backbreaker gives King two and we hit the one armed camel clutch. Kazarian breaks it up and makes the clothesline comeback, capped off by a running forearm.

The springboard spinning legdrop gives Kazarian two but King is back with a tiger driver for the same. King sends him to the floor but Kazarian comes back in with a slingshot cutter for two. The brawl on the floor finally breaks out as Kazarian gets the chickenwing. Cue Brian Myers for a distraction, allowing Moose to spear Kazarian down for the pin at 8:18.

Rating: B-. These two were having a good match until the screwy ending, which was quite the twist as Myers and Moose haven’t had anything to do with this feud so far. They would be an upgrade over the Good Hands for the match but that might be asking too much. For now though, I’ll settle for talented wrestlers having a good match to open the show, as is the norm around here.

Post match the beatdown is on and Team Dreamer is left laying.

Earlier tonight, Steve Maclin interrupted the Canadian National Anthem. Kushida made the save and cleaned house in a brawl.

Lince Dorado vs. Black Taurus vs. Laredo Kid vs. Rich Swann

Crazzy Steve handles Taurus’ intro. Taurus sends everyone to the floor to start and hits the big dive, only to have a triple superkick send him to the floor. That means the dives can take him out and leave everyone down as we take a break. Back with Taurus launching Dorado onto the top, where he can superplex Kid (while on top of Taurus’ shoulders for a crazy visual).

Back up and Kid hits a springboard armdrag to Swann, followed by a double Golden Rewind from Dorado. Taurus is back in to clean house, including a heck of a pop up Samoan drop to Dorado. That’s not enough as Taurus powerbombs Kid onto Swann at ringside. Taurus cleans house and goes up, only to have Kid catch him with a super Spanish Fly for the pin at 10:44.

Rating: B-. This might not have broken the mold for a match like this but they did their thing well. Kid has felt like he should be the next breakout star in the division almost every time he is around but nothing has ever really clicked. It seems like they’re trying it again and pinning Taurus is certainly a good way to start. Taurus got to show off again here and that power is always worth a look. Fun match, as expected.

Long video on the Bullet Club vs. the Motor City Machine Guns in Ultimate X for the Tag Team Titles.

Jessicka and Rosemary want to go to the Undead Realm to get Taya Valkyrie back but Rosemary says she’s going alone because Jessicka doesn’t know how to do it. She opens the coffin….but it’s just a regular one instead of the portal. The Coven must be behind this!

Jessicka vs. Taylor Wilde

Rosemary and KiLynn King are here too. Hold on as Wilde gives Jessicka a tarot card to start so Jessicka shows it to Rosemary. That lets Wilde jump her from behind so Jessicka says STOP HITTING ME. Jessicka misses a charge and gets choked in the corner before a Backstabber brings Jessicka down again. Back up and some jabs stagger Wilde, setting up a running crossbody for two. Rosemary and King get into it, allowing Wilde to slip out of a Sick Driver and grab a fisherman’s neckbreaker for the pin at 4:28.

Rating: C. The more I see of Wilde, the more amazed I am by the fact that she is the same woman who came back to almost no reaction last year. This is a completely different way to go for her and it is working rather well. The Coven has been a nice breath of air for the division and I could go for them holding the titles that much longer.

Jordynne Grace is ready for the Knockouts Title match at Rebellion but she can’t control what happens with Mickie James. She can control winning though.

Alisha Edwards is glad to have brought Eddie Edwards back to the right path. Now they want to get rid of the monster blocking his path.

Dirty Dango/Joe Hendry vs. Angels/Callihan

Before the match, Hendry confirms our belief in him. The rest of the Design is here too because what would it be like without the rest of them. Callihan suplexes Hendry for a fast two so Angels comes in, only to get suplexed as well. Dango comes in for the Dirtbag Shuffle but Angels takes him down. Callihan is whipped into Angels though and it’s back to Dango to clean house. Kon grabs the leg though and it’s a standing Sliced Bread to drop Hendry. A frog splash gets two, with Hendry making the save. Callihan hits Angels by mistake so Deaner stops to yell, leaving Hendry to hit the Standing Ovation for the pin at 4:39.

Rating: C. Egads I don’t know how much more I can take of this story. It feels like it has been going on forever and the Design somehow gets lamer every single week. Just get to someone turning on someone so they can have their big violent match and we can move on. Dango continues to do fine in his role and it’s nice to see him getting away from the dancing stuff. Hendry continues to be awesome and that’s all he needs to be.

Post match the Design jumps them again, until Santino Marella comes out for the save. This includes the Cobra because….oh my head hurts again.

Video on Steve Maclin vs. Kushida.

PCO promises to bury Eddie Edwards in a Last Rites match at Rebellion.

Bully Ray introduces Moose and Brian Myers as new members of his now seven person army. They’re ready for Rebellion and promise destruction because they’re family. Keep in mind that this is all to destroy TOMMY DREAMER.

Gisele Shaw vs. Tasha Steelz

Jai Vidal and Savannah Evans are here with Shaw. Steelz scares her to the floor to start before Steelz slaps her in the face back inside. That sends Shaw back to the floor and we take a break. Back with Shaw slapping her in the face as the theme continues. Steelz chops away but Shawn knocks her outside, where Evans hits a chokeslam onto the apron.

A snap suplex gives Shaw two more and we hit the reverse chinlock. With that broken up, Shaw hits a double jumping stomp in the corner and we take another break. Back again with Shaw hitting a running jumping uppercut for two more, followed by a swinging suplex for the same.

Steelz fights up and hits an ax handle into an atomic drop into a…completely missed jumping neckbreaker. Shaw’s belly to back toss sets up a running shot to the back of the head for two. The annoyed Shaw stomps away in the corner before they head outside for a slugout. Steelz sends her into the steps but misses a running knee, which only hits said steps. Back in and Steelz kicks the knee out for the pin at 21:23.

Rating: C+. Something tells me we didn’t miss much between those breaks as I have a hard time believing that these two had a pay per view main event length match out of nowhere. It wouldn’t surprise me if this had to be extended due to the Mickie James injury and if that is the case, they did rather well in an area they probably haven’t been in before.

Mickie James tells Santino Marella that the doctor has given her a diagnosis of her rib injury.

The fans leave the arena for Mickie’s announcement. I’m assuming this is to avoid the announcement getting out, but it comes off like some tragedy.

Rebellion rundown. Apparently Brian Myers and Moose are taking the Good Hands’ spots on Team Bully. At least they don’t have to find two more people for Team Dreamer.

Video on Mickie James’ Last Rodeo and path to winning the Knockouts Title again, plus Jordynne Grace and Deonna Purrazzo waiting for their shots.

Here is Mickie for her big announcement. When she started the Last Rodeo, she wanted to show that she still had it and that is what she did. At some point, every champion has to lose and she can handle some of that, but she can’t fight age. There is a difference between her and most of the division, but she feels like she is 20.

The fact that she isn’t makes this even worse and she thanks everyone for this Last Rodeo. She just got off the phone with the doctor though and she isn’t cleared to compete at Rebellion. She is a woman of her word and it is Deonna and Jordynne’s (watching in the back) time now. Mickie leaves the title, and her hat, in the ring and leaves. Grace leaves and Deonna looks on to end the show. This felt a lot like a retirement speech, but retiring over a broken bone feels like quite the stretch. James should be back and probably will, as ending a legendary career over something that will heal in a month or two is nuts.

Overall Rating: B-. The Mickie angle at the end was actually emotional and felt like a huge deal, which should set up the Knockouts Title match that much better. Other than that, the card for Rebellion was already mostly set coming into this show so there only so much that needed to be done. This show did well enough with the little that it had to cover, so nice job on hammering things down on the go home show.

Results
Kenny King b. Frankie Kazarian – Spear from Moose
Laredo Kid b. Black Taurus, Lince Dorado and Rich Swann – Super Spanish Fly to Taurus
Taylor Wilde b. Jessicka – Fisherman’s neckbreaker
Dirty Dango/Joe Hendry b. Callihan/Angels – Standing Ovation to Angels
Tasha Steelz b. Gisele Shaw – Kick to the knee

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – April 6, 2023: It’s The Best They Can Do

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 6, 2023
Location: St. Clair College, Windsor, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Matthew Rehwoldt, Tom Hannifan

We’re done with Multiverse United and that means we are on the way to Rebellion. However, this time we are going to have to stop for the sake of Josh Alexander vacating the World Title due to injury. There is a new main event of Kushida vs. Steve Maclin for the vacant title at Rebellion, which should be good but won’t feel as special. Let’s get to it.

Here is Multiverse United if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Josh Alexander’s World Title reign and his injury, which may have been exacerbated by Kushida’s Hoverboard Lock in a recent match.

Motor City Machine Guns vs. TMDK

That would be Shane Haste/Bad Dude Tito for TMDK. Everything breaks down fast and the Guns send them to the floor, setting up the stereo dives. Back in and Skull & Bones is broken up, allowing Hates to take over on Shelley. Tito comes in to chop away for two and it’s right back to Haste for the neck crank.

A Downward Spiral into the corner gets Shelley out of trouble and Sabin comes in to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Guns take over, including a dive and a bunch of kicks. Back in and a toss Blue Thunder Bomb is broken up and it’s the Dream Sequence to Tito. A crucifix from Shelley into a rollup from Sabin finishes Haste at 7:46.

Rating: C+. These teams work well together, which shouldn’t be a surprise as the Guns can work with just about anyone. Haste and Tito have been around a little bit more frequently and what I’ve seen has worked. That being said, it’s a rather little bit so they have a ways to go before they really get anywhere.

Post match the Guns go to the back where they run into the Bullet Club, who can work their way up to another title shot. The Guns say they’ve already got a title match at Rebellion so let’s make it an Ultimate X match. If the Guns can make it happen, the Club is in.

Eddie Edwards makes sure Kenny King has his back against PCO tonight. King wants to know where Edwards was when he was fighting PCO, so no he doesn’t have Edwards’ back. He also makes it clear that he wasn’t the one driving the car that ran over PCO.

Tommy Dreamer comes up to see Scott D’Amore about being on his team at Rebellion. Dreamer sucks up to him but D’Amore says his job is back here.

Mike Bailey vs. Jonathan Gresham

The winner gets a shot at X-Division Champion Trey Miguel, on commentary, at Rebellion. They stare each other down to start and we get a handshake. They fight over a wristlock with neither getting very far. Instead Bailey backs him into the corner before a double collision puts them both down. We take a break and come back with Bailey missing a running shooting star press, setting up a pinfall reversal sequence. They go head to head and then chop it out until Gresham knocks him to the floor.

Back in and Gresham rolls him up for two but a flipping slam gives Bailey two more. Gresham grabs a not great looking Figure Four and they roll around until they fall under the bottom rope to break it up. After being in a Figure Four for over a minute, Bailey is fine enough to hit a top rope springboard moonsault to the floor. Bailey yells at Miguel, which is enough to draw him in for a springboard double dropkick for the double DQ at 13:09.

Rating: B-. Miguel came in just before Bailey could go insane with the no selling of the leg and that is fine enough. You can pencil in the triple threat for Rebellion from here and that isn’t the worst idea. Gresham and Bailey have had a rivalry going on and there is no reason to have one of them go over the other for a title shot. If nothing else, we continue the tradition of a champion not getting the problem of a double DQ in a #1 contenders match, so at least something is consistent.

Post match Miguel indicates he’s smart. I’m sure.

Deaner is impressed Callihan has made it this far and talks about Callihan doing well in step six. Then Callihan cost them a match against Time Machine, which Callihan finds ridiculous. It’s time for step seven, which involves getting rid of all other authority in Callihan’s life except for the Design. He can figure out how to do that. This remains one of the worst things in wrestling today.

Santino Marella makes the triple threat match for the X-Division Title at Rebellion. We’ll even make it elimination style.

Jody Threat vs. Tara Rising

The fact that Rising has hair ala mid 1990s HHH is just a coincidence I assure you. Threat grabs a headlock to start as we see Santino Marella down in the back. A running clothesline and uppercut stagger Rising before some standing clotheslines rock Rising again. Some more clotheslines set up the double knees to the back and a German suplex drops Rising again. An F5 (the F416, the local area code) finishes Rising at 3:08.

Rating: C-. This didn’t work very well as Threat wasn’t exactly impressive. She felt like almost anyone who would fit in with almost any low level indy promotion who needs a stereotypical intense woman. Maybe this was just a tryout or something but Threat didn’t really stand out in any good way here.

In the back, Scott D’Amore checks on Santino Marella, with Dirty Dango saying the Design did this. Dango thinks that since Marella is out of action (as he sits there wide awake), he should be in charge. Instead, D’Amore says that Dango and Joe Hendry should face the Design. Marella says this is a chance to show his son how to stand up for himself, so he’ll fight the Design at Rebellion. Because of course he will.

Gisele Shaw, Jai Vidal and Savannah Evans interrupt Tasha Steelz. Shaw isn’t happy with Steelz interrupting her and a match is set for next week.

Bully Ray/Good Hands vs. Tommy Dreamer/Yuya Uemura/Darren McCarty

McCarty is a former NHL player who got in a fight with Ray at Sacrifice. Skyler slugs away at Dreamer to start to no avail, so Uemura comes in for a double hiptoss. The jumping elbow drop gives Uemura two before it’s off to Hotch, who gets armbarred down. A cheap shot takes Dreamer down though and the double villain choking ensues. Dreamer finally DDTs his way out of trouble and it’s McCarty coming in to clean house. McCarty clears the ring before hitting a Stunner on Hotch for the pin at 5:47.

Rating: C. The match was nothing to see but rather a way to have McCarty in there for something a bit special. That’s all it needed to be and McCarty didn’t take up too much time. If nothing else, it meant we didn’t have to hear Dreamer and Ray talk again for a week so I’ll call that one a success.

Post match Kenny King runs in to go after Dreamer, drawing in Frankie Kazarian, Masha Slamovich and Killer Kelly in a row. Dreamer, Kelly, Uemura and Kazarian clear the ring as we seem to have a Team Dreamer for Rebellion.

Video on Josh Alexander’s World Title reign.

Jordynne Grace did well in a bodybuilding competition.

We look at Deonna Purrazzo qualifying for the Knockouts Title match at Rebellion.

Purrazzo talks about how rough of a time she has had in the last year but now she has a chance to get back to the top.

Eddie Edwards vs. PCO

PCO puts him on the top rope to start and snaps off a super hurricanrana as we take a break. Back with Edwards not being able to hit a tiger driver on the floor but settling for a superplex instead. A chop out goes to PCO and he choke shoves Edwards to the floor. The suicide cannonball plants Edwards again and a chokeslam onto the apron sends us to another break.

Back again with PCO hitting the Deanimator but Edwards pulls the referee in front of a charge. PCO goes up top but here is Alisha Edwards to beg him no on the PCOsault. Then she kendo sticks him in the head so Eddie can hit a buckle bomb. The Boston Knee Party finishes PCO at 16:45.

Rating: C+. PCO can still do some crazy things in the ring but at least the ending seems to explain who was driving the car. If nothing else, this ties up the on again/off again deal with Alisha and Eddie, which does at least offer something different for Eddie. You know there’s going to be some wacky match at Rebellion and that could at least be a lot of fun.

Post match PCO gives chase but Edwards and Edwards escape in their car.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Here is Scott D’Amore, with Kushida and Steve Maclin here as well, to accept Josh Alexander’s World Title. D’Amore talks about how great Alexander has been as champion and hypes up a new champion being crowned at Rebellion. Here’s Alexander, with his wife and son, to talk about opportunities. He toiled on the Canadian independent scene to get a chance and then D’Amore offered him a contract.

Alexander has worked so hard in and out of the ring to pay people like D’Amore back. His work ethic has brought him this far and he stands here the longest reigning World Champion in Impact’s history. At Rebellion, there will be a new champion crowned and we’ll find out if Maclin has what it takes. Alexander promises to get the title back and goes to hand it over….and then his son takes the title.

After a NEW CHAMP chant, the title is handed over to D’Amore but Maclin says just hand it to him because he was going to win it at Rebellion. D’Amore goes off on Maclin for going after an injured Alexander, because if Maclin was a real man, he would have accepted the open challenge like Mike Bailey did. Maclin isn’t a real man and a few weeks ago, Kushida made him tap out. Maclin calls out Kushida, who pulls him into the Hoverboard Lock and sends him running before holding up the title. Kushida hands the title back to D’Amore to end the show. They did what they could with what they had here so this could have been worse.

Overall Rating: C+. This was another standard Impact show with enough good action and building towards the future. The Alexander segment was doing as well as could be expected given some horrible circumstances that aren’t Impact’s fault so I’ll take what I can get. Other than that, they’re getting Rebellion ready and we might even be seeing less from Santino Marella week to week. I’ll call that a win so it’s another nice week around here.

Results
Motor City Machine Guns b. TMDK – Rollup to Haste
Mike Bailey vs. Jonathan Gresham went to a double DQ when Trey Miguel interfered
Jody Threat b. Tara Rising – F416
Darren McCarty/Tommy Dreamer/Yuya Uemura b. Bully Ray/Good Hands – Stunner to Hotch
Eddie Edwards b. PCO – Boston Knee Party

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Relentless Wrestling – March 29, 2023: Always Go Baha Blast

Relentless Wrestling
Date: March 29, 2023
Location: Don Quixote Event Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Maddox Ryan, Heather

We’ll kick off the Wrestlemania weekend with this promotion from the Pacific northwest. This is one of the shows that I was hoping to find and they’re streaming it on their Twitch channel so it’s worth a look. I’ve heard of a few names on the card and there is some potential here. Let’s get to it.

Note that I am coming into this completely blind and have no idea about storylines, history or anything else. I apologize in advance for anything I get wrong.

Also note that the camera appears to be a handheld from the balcony and nothing more, so the production value isn’t the highest.

The unnamed host comes out to welcome the fans, who are amazed that the fans came out on a Wednesday night. He thanks the fans here and back home in Spokane, Washington and lists off their local sponsors, plus the venue. The host (Maddox Ryan? Maybe?) brings out his co-host and ring announcer, Arya Blake, who used to work in MLW as MJF’s girlfriend.

Andrew Everett vs. Danny Limelight vs. Keita vs. Robert Martyr vs. Jai Vidal vs. Adam Brooks

So this is a six way elimination match for a Championship Contract (I’m assuming #1 contender). The fans certainly seem into Keita, who is announced as a former champion. On the other hand, Everett is a former Impact Wrestling star who is dressed liked the Giant of WCW fame and billed from Grenoble in the French Alps. Limelight praises Los Angeles and gets beaten down as a result.

Everett’s double chokeslam is broken up and I guess we’re off without a bell. Brooks starts cleaning house but stops to dance, only to counter an Everett chokeslam into a DDT. Everett gets knocked down again and it’s Vidal taking Limelight over the top to clear the ring. Back in and Vidal hits some running knees in the corner as apparently Brooks tapped out somewhere in there (even commentary, as limited as it is, seems surprised).

Keita grabs a kneebar to make Vidal tap and is announced as the winner with his music playing, but he grabs the mic to say this is elimination rules. I think we can call that a botch and move on to Keita diving onto everyone else at ringside. Back in and Everett takes out Martyr and Limelight hits a piledriver for the elimination.

A sitout powerbomb gets two on Keita before Martyr and Limelight slug it out. Martyr gets choked out and it’s down to Keita vs. Limelight. Keita gets fired up and slugs it out with Limelight again before having to backflip out of a choke. An ankle lock gives Keita the win and the title shot (Commentary: “Wait did he just win?”) at 11:22.

Rating: C. I do appreciate the elimination rules and the match certainly wasn’t bad, but this production is taking some getting used to. It’s hard to keep track of what is going on and commentary is only talking about the match here and there. The action worked well enough though and the fans were way into Keita so they certainly went with the popular star. As for the rest, the Giant thing feels more than a bit out of date and only Vidal really stood out, but for what we were seeing here, it could have been a lot worse.

Wrestling With Wregret Internet Title: Zicky Dice vs. ???

Yes it’s the title from Brian Zane’s webseries on the line. Dice, with former champion Levi Shapiro is defending in an open challenge and Simon Miller from Whatculture answers. The rather strong Miller sends him into the ropes to start but Dice comes up with some streamers to knock him back. That works as well as streamers to the face are going to go and Dice bails to the floor. Dice: “Who trained this guy???”

Shapiro comes in and offers a distraction (and a trip) so Dice can punch Miller down, setting up the Arn Anderson eye rake on the ropes. Dice gets two off a bridging northern lights suplex and a clothesline gets the same. Back up and Miller hits him in the face, causing Dice to throw up his own X….and pull another streamer from his mouth, Phantasmo style. The streamer clotheslines Miller down and Dice gets in a hip swivel into a reverse chinlock.

Miller fights up and runs Dice over, which is enough for Shapiro to pull Dice outside. Some silly string to the face (and near the referee) drops Miller, who is fine enough to do a not great tilt-a-whirl slam. Miller misses a middle rope splash as Ryan starts talking a lot more on commentary. Dice sprays something else at Miller but here’s a masked man to belt Dice in the head….for a double DQ at 9:10.

Rating: D. Yeah this really didn’t work and commentary/fans asking “what just happened” isn’t a good sign. The match was all about the comedy, which wasn’t exactly funny and the ending was even worse. This was quite the step down from the opener and felt more like a way to have a title match without having any kind of a serious ending. Miller didn’t help himself here either, and this was a hard sit.

Post match everyone leaves and the mask stays on.

Team Slim Jim vs. Thrussy

That would be Drexl/Warhorse/Chase James vs. Allie Katch/Effy/Dark Sheik. Upon a fan request, commentary tries to start a DADDY EFFY chant, even as Warhorse and Katch chop it out. Katch is rather confused but is fine enough to shrug off Warhorse’s shoulder. Warhorse is allowed to roll Katch up for two and they stop to pose at each other. Sheik (a hardcore woman) and Drexl (a hardcore guy) come in, with the fans thinking Sheik is going to kill him.

They stare at each other a bit until Sheik chops him in the corner to no avail. The fans think Drexl is a sick f*** as he offers to let Sheik chop him…so she drops down for a low blow. Drexl seems to approve so Sheik kicks him into the corner. Effy and James come in to complete the trilogy of pairings and they strike it out. Effy blocks a kiss attempt though and hits an atomic drop before dropping onto all fours.

With that not going anywhere, Effy hits some running kicks in the corner for two and Sheik adds a slingshot legdrop. James is sent face first into the back of Katch’s trunks (wiggling ensues) and we hit a front facelock to slow things down. Effy comes back in and…I think bites James’ nipple, earning himself a knockdown. James finally gets over to Warhorse to pick up the pace as everything breaks down.

Drexl paper cuts Effy and cuts Katch in the corner, only to get dropped by Effy. Sheik’s top rope spinning legdrop gets two on Drexl….and here’s a giant Slim Jim. Said Slim Jim beats up Thrussy but they get together and make him eat a regular Slim Jim. Sheik hits a top rope spinwheel kick to Warhorse and Effy hits a Rough Ryder to finish Drexl at 15:55.

Rating: C. This was oddly entertaining, as they went pretty straightforward with the Slim Jim, even if it’s a rather strange gimmick. The action was much more comedy based but in this case it actually worked a bit better. Effy and Katch are bigger names here and it makes sense to have them go over, especially over Drexl, who didn’t seem that well received.

Post match the fans get Slim Jims.

Pacific Northwest Relentless Title: Alan Angels vs. Chris Bey

Angels is defending and does not seem to be the most popular. They go with the grappling to start and Bey gets to dance, only to get caught in a headlock. Bey is back up and sweeps the leg a few times, sending Angels outside. Back in and Bey hits a double stomp to the back as commentary talks about the character development needed to be a manager.

Bey chops him down and adds a kick to the back as the giant Slim Jim jumps in on commentary for a minute (he is also NOT Jackson Price, despite their apparent similar sizes). Angels manages a kick to the back as commentary switches to Keita eating burritos. A hard clothesline gives Angels two and we hit the abdominal stretch. Bey fights out and hits a running clothesline, followed by a kick to the head for two.

Angels’ standing Sliced Bread gets the same but he misses a top rope…we’ll say knee, allowing Bey to grab a Code Red for two (should have gone Baja Blast, or at least not Pitch Black). Bey can’t hit the Art of Finesse (springboard cutter) and Angels drops him hard with a clothesline for two more. They’re both down…and here’s Keita with his contract from earlier. Keita pins Angels to win the title at 12:29.

Rating: C+. I was getting into this one and wanted to see who was going to win before the screwy finish. That being said, I can get not wanting to pin a bigger name like Bey while also not wanting to give him the title. This gets the belt back on what feels more like a promotion regular while also giving us a pretty nice match. You could tell that these guys were on another level and that was a good boost for the show.

The host thanks a camera woman who has been at all of their shows.

POW Pro Wrestling Title: Vin Massaro vs. Funnybone

This is from the POW promotion and Massaro (with Mr. Ooh-La-La) is challenging. The funny part is that Massaro’s music has been played twice by mistake throughout the night and commentary said something like “HE’S REALLY COMING OUT THIS TIME”. Funnybone is a scary yet popular clown/demon who enziguris Massaro to start but a cheap shot sends Funnybone into the corner.

Stomping and choking ensue but Funnybone fights up and sends him outside for the suicide dive. Back in and Funnybone misses something from the top, allowing Massaro to suplex him into the corner. Some running knees to the face give Funnybone two but he accidentally kicks the referee down. Massaro grabs a chair but cue a rather large man to spear Massaro down. Funnybone adds a top rope double stomp to retain at 8:26.

Rating: C. I feel like I’ve seen Funnybone before and Massaro has been around for a bit, so this match had some experience. It felt like more of a showcase for the promotion and its title, which is a good enough way to get something else on the card. Granted I’m not sure why you would want to do that when you’re having your highest profile show to date, but maybe it was some agreement.

Kidd Bandit vs. Brooke Havok vs. Act Yasukawa vs. Billie Starkz

No word on if this is elimination or one fall to a finish, as commentary would rather say Bandit is “so pushy as a heel”. Havok and Starkz are sent outside fast and Act ties Bandid’s legs in the ropes for a running dropkick. Bandit is back up with a rollup and the two of them go outside. Starkz and Havok come back in with Havok grabbing a headscissors as we lose audio for a second. Act is back in with a missile dropkick to Bandit, setting up Starkz’ flip dive onto all three.

Back in and Bandit gives Starkz a backbreaker into a spinning Downward Spiral for two. Starks is fine enough to pick up for a Doomsday crossbody from Havok, who gets to slug it out with Act. Bandit kicks Act down so Starkz has to Swanton in for the save. Back in and Starks grabs a quick rollup to pin Havok, leaving everyone seeming a bit surprised.

Rating: C+. This was pretty much on the nose for the standard format four way and it worked well enough. Starkz is someone whose name has been getting out there more and more as of late, including an AEW appearance, making her the biggest name here. The ending came a bit out of nowhere, but that’s kind of the idea behind a match like this. Quick and to the point, but the action made it work.

Here is Tom Lawlor for the main event but he doesn’t have Team Filthy (his usual partners) with him. Instead, he is willing to let two men have a chance to join. This brings out Matt Vandergriff and Cal Jack, who seems rather patriotic. It seems we have a six man.

Tom Lawlor/Matt Vandergriff/Cal Jack vs. TJP/Jacob Austin Young/Mike Bailey

TJP is the hometown boy so I think we have a hero (thought he fans seem to like Bailey more). The villains jump the good guys to start but TJP and company send them outside for stereo triple dives. We settle down to Vandergriff getting taken into the corner for the early beating, including TJP’s corner handstand into a headscissors. TJP ties him up in the Muta Lock but has to let go because that’s not a normal way to bend.

Jack gets in a cheap shot from the apron to Young though and it’s Lawlor (who has his fans) coming in to take over. Hold on though as Lawlor needs to stop and take off his shorts to reveal his signature cutoff jean shorts. There’s a Stink Face to Young and Vandergriff comes in to keep up the beating. Jack’s gutwrench suplexes give him two but Young is able to hit Lawlor with some loud chops.

The comeback is cut off by a Jack bearhug until Young manages to slip out and grab a sleeper. That’s broken up, but the hot tag brings in Bailey to loudly kick away. Jack gets in a low superkick and brings Vandergriff back in to send Bailey into the middle buckle. Bailey catches him on top for a super hurricanrana though and it’s off to TJP vs. Lawlor. A discus forearm cuts TJP off but he does his swing through the ropes into a….broken Sharpshooter.

Lawlor reverses into a cross armbreaker, which is reversed into some weird Sharpshooter cousin. That’s broken up as well and a Side Effect gives Lawlor two. Bailey comes back in to kick away, including the bouncing series into an enziguri on Vandergriff. Everything breaks down and Vandergriff moonsaults onto everyone not named TJP. Lawlor breaks up TJP’s dive though, only to have TJP kick him down.

A frog splash gives TJP a rather close two but Bailey is back in with his spinning kick in the corner. Jack cuts Bailey off so Vandergriff can hit a 450 for two of his own but TJP cleans house. TJP guillotines Jack so Bailey can add the Ultimate Weapon, allowing the good guys to grab triple submissions for the stereo triple tap at 17:30.

Rating: B. This was absolutely the match that should have headlined the show as it was easily the best thing all night. It’s another case of having the most talented stars in the ring and getting to see just how good they are. Bailey and TJP are both very talented and Lawlor should be in a bigger spot somewhere. I got into this one and it was a heck of a way to end the show, so well done all around.

The winners celebrate and Blake thanks the fans to wrap up the night.

Overall Rating: C+. While it had a VERY rocky start, this got better as it went along and the bigger stars helped a lot. What matters is they had an entertaining enough night when more people are probably going to see them than ever before. There are better indies out there that are more worth your time, but this was a nice mixture of their own talent and people who were around to make for a nice night.

They need to fix A LOT of stuff, with commentary being at the top (granted it was more people filming the show and trying to talk about it rather than traditional commentary so fair enough), but for what it was, it’s a nice enough use of two and a half hours. Cut out the Dice/Miller stuff and it’s that much better, but nothing else was close to bad all night. The main event is worth seeing if you’re in for some lower scale but still good indy action though and for a show like this, that’s a solid result.

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 23, 2023: Leave The Memories Alone

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 23, 2023
Location: Sam’s Town Live, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

It is the night before Sacrifice and we are eight days away from Multiverse United. That means it is time to build up both shows at the last minute, as there is still some work that needs to be done. The good thing is that both shows already have quite a bit set and now the final touches can be applied. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Steve Maclin vs. Josh Alexander, including Maclin costing Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian a six man tag last week.

Opening sequence.

The Design vs. Time Machine

Callihan is here with the Design. Kushida squares up to Kon to start but Sabin comes in as well, allowing Kon to clothesline both of them down. Deaner comes in and gets struck down by the Guns, only to take Sabin into the wrong corner. It’s off to Angels to trade chops with Sabin before a leg lariat puts Sabin down. Sabin ties Angels up though and Kushida/Shelley kick Angels’ arms out to take over.

There’s a running hesitation dropkick in the corner to hit Angels again and Shelley stays on the bad arm. Kushida snaps the arm across the top and it’s off to a double arm crank. Sabin comes back in but gets taken into the wrong corner so Angels can choke a bit. A sunset flip gets two on Deaner and Sabin dives over to Kushida for the tag. House is quickly cleaned and everything breaks down, with Kushida and Shelley taking over on Deaner’s arm for a change.

The handspring kick knocks Kon off the apron and Kushida hits a big dive to the floor to take out a variety of people. We take a break and come back with Angels (favoring his arm) and Kushida trading their forearms. Deaner kicks Kushida in the head and Kon’s spinebuster sets up Angel’s frog splash for two. A double clothesline Doomsday Device gets two on Kushida as Shelley makes the save.

Everything breaks down again and Angels is left alone, setting up a triple Dream Sequence. A triple kick in the head looks to set up Skull And Bones but Deaner makes the save. Hold on though as Callihan gets in to protect Deaner, leaving Callihan to get taken down as well. Angel’s dive is loaded up but he gets pulled into the Hoverboard Lock. Sabin kicks the arm away from the ropes and Angels taps at 18:50.

Rating: C+. Well that was….long. I’m not sure why anyone thinks there is a need for a Design match to go nearly twenty minutes but thankfully Time Machine was there to balance things out a bit. The action was fine but I can’t understand what is supposed to be interesting about the Design. It would be great to finally get to whatever they’re setting up with Callihan, because there has been almost nothing interesting so far and I have no reason to believe that is going to change.

The Coven is happy to be the new Knockouts Tag Team Champions and like magic.

Raj Singh and Shera are rich and like it in Las Vegas. The former is so rich that he’s now Champagne Singh as we just keep up the stereotypes.

Eddie Edwards is in the back with Kenny King and talks about how he has to get rid of PCO. That’s why he has brought in help, with King talking about how they realized they needed each other at Jay Briscoe’s mama’s house. PCO was never family like them, so King is going to take PCO out at Sacrifice.

Savannah Evans vs. Deonna Purrazzo

Gisele Shaw and Jai Vidal are here with Evans. Purrazzo slugs away to start but gets shoved down without much effort. There’s a running splash to crush Purrazzo in the corner and Evans throws her right back out. Purrazzo manages to snap off a running hurricanrana though and Evans crashes out to the floor. The baseball slide drops Evans again but a Shaw distraction lets Evans send Purrazzo into various things.

We take a break and come back with Purrazzo still in trouble as Shaw is rather pleased. A running shoulder in the corner sets up a butterfly suplex as Purrazzo is getting crushed here. The chinlock goes on as Shaw’s slapping the mat over and over again sounds like someone knocking on a door.

Purrazzo fights up and gets a boot up in the corner before going after the arm. That doesn’t work so Purrazzo hits a running knee into a Russian legsweep. Now the Fujiwara armbar can go on, with Evans making it over to the rope. Back up and Evans snaps off a suplex but gets kicked in the head. Evans is sent to the apron but the distractions are on. Evans accidentally kicks Vidal down and Purrazzo gets rid of Shaw, setting up a crucifix to pin Evans at 13:51.

Rating: C. This was another long match and mostly a squash until Purrazzo beat up two people at once to beat Evans. Purrazzo is geared up for her match with Shaw at Sacrifice and now we should be in for a showdown tomorrow night. Evans continues to look like a monster for most of her matches but then comes up short in the end, which could go somewhere in the future.

Post match Evans lays Purrazzo out and Shaw helps out with the beating. This goes on for a bit and no one saves Purrazzo.

Flashback Moment Of The Week (They still do these?): The Motor City Machine Guns b. Team 3D and Beer Money at Sacrifice 2010.

The Death Dollz are mad at losing the Knockouts Tag Team Titles with Taya Valkyrie trying to calm the other two down. They need a new plan! Jessika isn’t having that and goes after the Coven right now, only to find….a casket. Jessika opens it up and finds….well we’re not sure as Taya slams it shut. A hand reaches out of the casket and pulls Taya in. Where to you ask? AEW.

Bully Ray/Masha Slamovich vs. Tommy Dreamer/Mickie James

For those of you who needed a preview of Dreamer vs. Ray. The men start things off with Ray going after Mickie instead. Ray wants Mickie to come in and she does exactly that after about a minute of staring. Slamovich comes in for the slugout about two minutes in but Mickie plants her with a flapjack. It’s off to Dreamer for some arm cranking before Mickie comes back in, only to have Ray pull her down by the hair.

Ray comes in for a slam as commentary is quiet for a lot of long stretches. Mickie slips away though and hands it back to Dreamer for right hands in the corner. A cutter gives Dreamer two with Slamovich making the save. The top rope seated senton drops Slamovich and Mickie plays D-Von with a WHAT’S UP (ax handle version). Everything breaks down and Ray loads up a table as Mickie dives onto Slamovich. The distraction lets Ray hit Dreamer low, setting up a piledriver for the pin at 9:26.

Rating: C. This worked when Mickie and Masha were in there, with Ray being ok enough. I’m completely with caring about anything Dreamer does, but at least his stuff was kept short. What mattered here was having the two matches set up, as strange as it is that seeing Ray pin Dreamer before they have a first blood match. Then again having them in what is very possibly the main event of a show in 2023 is strange enough.

Post match Ray loads up a powerbomb on James but here is Jordynne Grace to break it up. Grace and Ray stare each other down and Grace spears….Mickie by mistake as Ray moves.

Rich Swann and Frankie Kazarian are in the back with Swann being upset about last week. Kazarian wants him to go find Josh Alexander and settle this now. Post break Swann goes into Alexander’s locker room and finds Steve Maclin. Swann yells, with Maclin saying maybe Alexander wanted him here. Swann is confused.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Dirty Dango/Joe Hendry vs. Moose/Brian Myers

Before the match, Dango insists that we believe in Hendry and the fans seem pleased. Hendry headlocks Myers to start and then runs him over with a shoulder. A delayed suplex drops Myers and Dango comes in as Myers rolls into the corner. Moose comes in and takes Dango into the corner but Hendry comes in to clear the ring. Hendry and Dango have two words for us….but Dango has to be reminded that they aren’t SUCK IT.

We take a break and come back with Moose sending Dango into the corner and knocking Hendry off the apron. Myers drops Dango as the alternating beatdowns continue. Moose charges into a boot in the corner though and a middle rope corkscrew uppercut gives Dango a breather. The tag brings in Hendry to clean house and a pop up powerbomb gets two on Myers. Everything breaks down and Moose spears Hendry down. Myers’ Roster Cut finishes Hendry at 13:44.

Rating: C+. Nice tag match here which set up the title match on Friday. Hendry continues to feel like a star and someone who could be a big deal if he is given the chance at some point down the line. Seeing him get pinned in a tag match is kind of a big deal as Hendry has been such a star, but he’ll be fine if he retains the title at Sacrifice.

Josh Alexander goes into his locker room and finds Rich Swann, who wants to know why Steve Maclin was here. Alexander, who is remarkably calm about two people apparently having been in his locker room, is off to find out what is going on here.

Here is Josh Alexander to talk about Steve Maclin. Alexander has seen Maclin leave a trail of bodies around here and he can respect that. What he can’t respect is the allegation that he is ducking Maclin. All that makes Maclin is someone complaining and a…..forgotten son. Cue Maclin to say that yes he is afraid to fail because he doesn’t want to go all the way back to the bottom.

He is obsessed with winning the Impact World Title and we see clips of Maclin watching Alexander’s matches from the shadows during his title reign. Alexander says he respects Maclin so bring it on right now. Maclin says nah, because he’s going to do it in Alexander’s hometown at Rebellion.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling wasn’t great here but it did a nice enough job of building up Sacrifice. That is trickier than it seems though, as the show isn’t the biggest in the world. The main event very well may be Dreamer vs. Ray, as the only other real option is Mickie vs. Grace. Once that is out of the way though, we’re on to Rebellion and that should work well.

So……you might need to forget a good bit of this show, as both Josh Alexander (torn tricep) and Mickie James (undisclosed) are injured and have been forced to vacate their titles. The Knockouts Title will be determined at Sacrifice and the World Title at Rebellion, with Steve Maclin facing Kushida. No word on what happens to the Multiverse United card. Egads that’s horrible, as they might have just lost their two top stars at once.

Results
Time Machine b. The Design – Hoverboard Lock to Angels
Deonna Purrazzo b. Savannah Evans – Crucifix
Bully Ray/Masha Slamovich b. Mickie James/Tommy Dreamer – Piledriver to Dreamer
Moose/Brian Myers b. Dirty Dango/Joe Hendry – Roster Cut to Hendry

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 16, 2023: The Balancing Act

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 16, 2023
Location: Sam’s town Live, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

Sacrifice is next week and the card, while is looking a bit stacked, is coming together. That means we are likely to get some more build towards Tommy Dreamer vs. Bully Ray this week, as that is likely headlining the show. Otherwise, the six man tag featuring Time Machine should see some more setup as well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

In the desert, PCO screams for Eddie Edwards to come fight him.

Opening sequence.

Mike Bailey/Jonathan Gresham vs. Decay

Steve has to bail to the ropes to escape Gresham to start but a bite of the hand has Gresham in trouble. Bailey comes in and is sent outside just as fast, leaving Decay to double team Gresham down in the corner. Gresham gets sent into the corner but forearms/dropkicks his way to freedom. Bailey comes in to backflip a bit and kicks Steve down. There’s the running shooting star for two on Steve…who bites on Bailey’s boot.

The boot is fine enough for the bouncing kicks but Steve hits a clothesline for the double knockdown. Taurus comes in for his huge backbreaker into a pop up Samoan drop for two on Bailey. Everything breaks down and Gresham sends Steve outside, leaving Bailey to kick Taurus in the head for one. Steve and Gresham fight on the floor as Bailey hits the spinning kick, setting up the Ultimate Weapon for the pin on Taurus at 6:19.

Rating: C+. This was shorter than I was expecting but Bailey didn’t managed to no sell a bad knee so he is doing better than usual. Other than that, it was the partners who don’t quite like each other teaming together to beat a midcard team, which isn’t a horrible stretch. Bailey is a popular enough star to carry the opener, and the Ultimate Weapon does look painful so had a nice start here.

Post match Gresham and Bailey seem a bit testy with each other but respect is shown.

Josh Alexander, Frankie Kazarian and Rich Swann are ready for the Bullet Club tonight. They’ve been successful on their own and now it’s time to succeed together. They trust each other, but here is Steve Maclin to interrupt, with Swann not seeming pleased.

Gisele Shaw says she didn’t lost last week and blames Deonna Purrazzo. Revenge is coming at Sacrifice. Johnny Swinger and Zicky Dice come in and suggest Swinger faces….interviewer Gia Miller? Instead, he’ll face Jai Vidal.

Steve Maclin vs. Heath

Heath starts fast with some running forearms but gets sent into the corner to cut him off. Maclin runs him over with a good shot to the face until a backdrop sends him to the floor. We take a break and come back with Maclin beating him up at ringside and choking on the rope. A backbreaker gives Maclin two and we hit the abdominal stretch. Heath fights out and slugs away, including the jumping knee and powerslam for two. Maclin cuts off a bulldog though and ties him in the Tree of Woe, setting up the spear. KIA finishes Heath at 12:04.

Rating: C+. I’m still kind of amazed at what Heath has been doing in Impact as he has turned into a rather reliable in-ring star without doing much of the comedy. Granted he never really got the chance to show what he could do so maybe this has been there all along. That being said, this was all about getting Maclin another win on his path to the World Title shot and that went well.

The Death Dollz are ready to retain the Knockout Tag Team Titles but Taya says Jessika might be too much of a liability. Taya and Rosemary can handle this themselves, which (after Jessika leaves), seems to be because they think Jessika could be swayed.

PCO has walked from the desert to Las Vegas, shouting or Eddie on the way.

Jonathan Gresham calls Mike Bailey his sidekick but Bailey says he isn’t forgetting Gresham beating him. They’ll run it back at Sacrifice.

Johnny Swinger vs. Jai Vidal

Zicky Dice, Savannah and Gisele Shaw are all here too. Swinger doesn’t think much of Vidal to start and his offer of a test of strength is answered with a dropkick. Vidal drops an elbow to send Swinger into the corner but a charge misses. Dice grabs Vidal’s leg and gets ejected, with the distraction letting Swinger choke on the rope. Evans breaks up the camel clutch and gets ejected, along with Shaw. Cue Deonna Purrazzo to jump Shaw, leaving Vidal to hit a running dropkick to finish Swinger at 3:22.

Rating: C. Total comedy match here and yeah it worked well, as does almost everything that Swinger does. Having him lose over and over is a funny idea, as he is still trying to find someone he can beat. Vidal was fine enough in the ring, but this was all about Swinger (and Purrazzo in the end) and he delivered.

Deaner talks about Callihan’s sixth step when Callihan storms in to yell about last week. Callihan’s sixth step is about taking punishment, which he’ll do. Deaner seems to have an idea. Here’s an idea: WRAP THIS STORY UP ALREADY!

PCO arrives at the arena, still screaming for Eddie Edwards.

Mickie James comes up to Tommy Dreamer, who has requested that they have a mixed tag against Bully Ray and Masha Slamovich next week. Jordynne Grace comes in to say this is a bad idea and promises that she’s still coming for the title.

Here is Eddie Edwards for a chat. He has been thinking a lot and is ready to let the past be in the past. Everything that has happened before is over and it is time for him to focus on himself and his future in Impact. We look at someone in a car saving Eddie from PCO last week and…here is PCO. Before he can make it to the ring though, Kenny King comes up from behind and hits him with a shovel, allowing Edwards to come up for the double team.

Commentary speculates that King was driving Edwards’ getaway car last week before PCO sits up on the ramp. The brawl is on and PCO gets crushed between the steps and post. That’s broken up and PCO (bleeding from the back of the head) cleans house, only to have King grab a Blockbuster. The chair is put over PCO’s head and Edwards crushes it with a kendo stick. This isn’t going to end well for them is it?

Santino Marella is in the back with….Vladimir Kozlov of all people. They’re happy to be back together and then Kozlov leaves. Dirty Dango comes in and can’t say Kozlov’s name. That’s enough for SAY HIS NAME AND HE APPEARS, so here is Joe Hendry, who wants Brian Myers. Santino makes the match so Dango can gush over what a Hendry fan he is. It’s such a big deal that Santino makes Hendry and Dango against Myers and Moose.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: The Coven vs. Death Dollz

The Dollz (Rosemary/Taya Valkyrie) are defending and Jessika is here with them. Taya crossbodies King down to start and hands it off to Rosemary for a suplex. Wilde comes in to slug away, earning a bite to the hear from Rosemary. Everything breaks down and the Coven is clotheslined to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Rosemary fighting out of a chinlock but getting pulled down by the hair. Wilde chokes in the corner but Rosemary manages a quick Upside Down. King is knocked away and the hot tag brings in Taya to clean house. The running hip attack and running knees in the corner hit King for two but Wilde hits a Fameasser over the ropes. Everything breaks down but King breaks up the Road To Valhalla. Instead Wilde hits a kick to the head and King’s pumphandle flipping faceplant connects for the pin and the titles at 11:32.

Rating: C+. Taya appearing on this week’s Dynamite didn’t exactly help with the result but well done on trying to make some new stars out of nowhere. Wilde has been trying to find her way back to prominent since her return and King has only been around for a few weeks. Nice match too, without Jessika playing into the finish as they seemed to telegraph.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Josh Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian vs. Bullet Club

Kazarian flips out of Bey’s wristlock to start but Bey kicks him into the corner. There’s a running chop and it’s Austin coming in. That’s fine with Kazarian, who sends Bey outside and grabs Austin’s arm. Swann comes in and is quickly dropped with a springboard dropkick, allowing Austin to grab a headlock (as is the customary followup to a springboard missile dropkick). That’s broken up as well and it’s off to Kenta vs. Alexander, which has the fans’ approval. They slowly slug it out until everything breaks down, with Bullet Club being sent to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Bey kicking Swann in the head and motioning that Swann is asleep. Austin and Bey use some precision kicks to put Swann down for two but Bey misses a legdrop. Kenta isn’t having any of this tagging stuff though and kicks Swann right back down. Swann manages a kick though and it’s Kazarian coming back in to really clean house.

Everything breaks down and Alexander comes in to strike on Bey. The hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb on Bey and Swann adds the middle rope 450. Austin makes the save and it’s time for the exchange of kicks to the head. Swann flips off the apron onto Swann but gets taken down by Bey.

The slingshot dive is loaded up but Kazarian pulls bey out of the air into a cutter onto the pile (that was great). Back in and Swann hits an ax kick to Bey and Kazarian adds the slingshot DDT to Austin. Kenta knees Swann down but gets dropped by Alexander. Cue Steve Maclin for a distraction though and Alexander gets kicked down. The Art of Finesse into the Fold finishes Swann at 17:57.

Rating: B. This was rolling by the end and the Maclin distraction was about all they could have done to get out of this without something rather screwy. You don’t want the new champs winning and Kenta probably isn’t getting pinned, so having Maclin there was the best way out. Rather good match too, with talented wrestlers getting time to do what they can.

Overall Rating: B-. Impact is somehow managing to build towards three shows (granted one of them is in name only for the most part) at once and thankfully they didn’t bother with that much about Tommy Dreamer vs. Bully Ray. That feud doesn’t need any more time and hopefully they can have their match and move on (yeah I know there’s no way that’s it). Other than that, you had some build towards Sacrifice, which is looking rather strong. Good show this week, as we should be in for a nice few weeks coming up.

Results
Mike Bailey/Jonathan Gresham b. Decay – Ultimate Weapon to Black Taurus
Steve Maclin b. Heath – KIA
Jai Vidal b. Johnny Swinger – Running dropkick
The Coven b. Death Dollz – Pumphandle flipping faceplant to Valkyrie
Bullet Club b. Josh Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian – Fold to Swann

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 9, 2023: There’s Good And Bad

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 9, 2023
Location: Sam’s Town Live, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

We are on our way to a trio of shows with Sacrifice, Multiverse United and Rebellion, which makes for quite the packed series of builds. That got started last week with a little something for each show getting time, but they are going to have to do it again for the next few weeks. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Here is Bully Ray to get things going. At No Surrender, Tommy Dreamer used the words “someone like me” (meaning Ray). What did he mean when he said that? Did he mean a two time Hall of Famer or half of the greatest tag team ever? Maybe a two time World Champion?

Ray wishes he knew what Dreamer meant, because he threw hot coffee into Dreamer’s face. Dreamer wants a Busted Open match at Sacrifice but there is no way Dreamer is making it there. Cue Santino Marella to call Bully “Bobby Ray” and say that Dreamer will be at Sacrifice. It was only a minor burn to his balls….er, eyeball so he’ll be fine.

Cue Bhupinder Gujjar to speak Hindi and issue a challenge for right now. Santino makes the match and we’re on. This Santino stuff is getting REALLY old as he’s still doing the same “gee I sure do talk funny” shtick, which can be charming for all of 12 seconds before you realize that he’s making the crowd chuckle over what was supposed to be a serious angle.

Bhupinder Gujjar vs. Bully Ray

Ray’s chain shot doesn’t work to start so he clotheslines Gujjar down instead. Gujjar gets up and yells a lot, seemingly inviting Ray to hit him. Ray’s right hands are shrugged off and Gujjar dropkicks him down. Ray catches him on top though and loads up the chain, which takes too long as well, allowing Gujjar to get in a shot of his own. Gujjar loads up the chain but gets low blowed for the DQ at 3:31.

Rating: D+. Remember when Gujjar was looking like he could be something? Well now he’s cannon fodder in the star making feud between Bully Ray and Tommy Dreamer. This was hardly a high energy match and was much more about Ray trying to get out of having the actual match. Nothing to see here, but thank goodness Ray got his time in.

Post match Ray chains Gujjar in the back but Tommy Dreamer comes in for the save (Why didn’t he come out earlier?). Cue Masha Slamovich to hit Dreamer low but Mickie James makes the save. The women brawl until Dreamer gets up to chase Ray off with a chair.

PCO is next to a grave with a shovel and screams for Eddie Edwards to come fight him.

Josh Alexander comes up to Rich Swann and gets him on his team for a six man at Sacrifice. Steve Maclin comes in but Swann says this isn’t about him. Frankie Kazarian comes in and Maclin leaves, with Kazarian seemingly joining Swann and Alexander at Sacrifice.

Callihan vs. Rhino

The Design and Heath are here too. They trade shoulders to start and neither goes anywhere. The fight heads outside with Callihan raking the eyes and posting him to take over. A Russian legsweep on the ramp puts Rhino down again and the seconds get in an argument. We take a break and come back with Rhino hitting a TKO for two, followed by a belly to belly. A hard clothesline out of the corner cuts Rhino off but it’s too early for the Cactus Driver 97. Angels grabs Callihan’s foot though and Khan adds a chair to the face, allowing Rhino to hit the Gore for the pin at 10:11.

Rating: C. This was as good as a ten minute Rhino vs. Callihan match was going to be as there is only so much the two of them are going to pull off. Rhino is still able to have a watchable enough match and it is nice to see him get a win here. At the same time, the Callihan/Design stuff is still pretty horrible and it needs to wrap up soon. It won’t, but it needs to.

Trey Miguel interrupts Dirty Dango and Santino Marella in the back, asking what they’re going to do for him. That works for Santino, who makes Miguel vs. a handpicked opponent at Sacrifice, plus a six way match for the X-Division Title at Multiverse United. Johnny Swinger and Zicky Dice come in to see if Miguel is as tall as Sky Low Low. With Miguel gone, Swinger asks about facing Dango, who says he’s the assistant Director of Authority. Swinger and Dice leave, so Marella says that isn’t Dango’s job. Dango: “It’s not a job. It’s a way of life.”

During the break, Callihan was mad at the Design but was told that was step #6.

Jordynne Grace vs. Alex Gracia

Grace powers her into the corner to start as we hear about Grace competing as a bodybuilder. A German suplex out of the corner gets two on Gracia but the Grace Driver is blocked. Instead Grace grabs a torture rack spin into a powerbomb. Now the Grace Driver finishes Gracia off at 2:26.

Moose comes up to Joe Hendry, who is telling jokes to a bunch of fans. Brian Myers jumps Hendry from behind and the big beatdown is on.

The Bullet Club, complete with Kenta, come in to mock Josh Alexander/Frankie Kazarian/Rich Swann. The six man is set for next week. Alexander mocks Ace Austin and Chris Bey for being overly excited about being the Tag Team Champions, which doesn’t sit well with the champs.

Jonathan Gresham vs. Kushida

They go technical to start (yes really) with neither being able to get very far. Instead they shake hands and spin around a lot while fighting over arm control. Neither gets very far so Kushida takes it to the mat and rides him a bit. Gresham reverses into a hammerlock on the mat but Kushida gets to his feet, with Gresham still cranking away. It’s finally broken up and Kushida stomps on Gresham’s hand but Gresham is right back with another armbar.

Kushida’s armbar sends Gresham to the rope so Kushida dropkicks the arm to keep him in trouble. Gresham is right back with la majistral for two so he tries it again, only to get reversed into a cradle to give Kushida two of his own. Back up and Kushida sends him into the ropes, which bangs up Gresham’s arm again. The Hoverboard Lock makes Gresham tap at 10:04.

Rating: B-. This was the technical match that you knew it would be and it made Kushida look that much better because he beat someone on his level. Both of them are established names but Kushida is on his way to the World Title shot at Multiverse United so he needed the win here. Good match, and different from everything else on the show.

Eddie Edwards goes to the grave where PCO called him out. That sounds like a very bad idea.

Here is Killer Kelly to sit in a chair and call out Taylor Wilde. Cue Wilde, who says this isn’t about Kelly but rather the future. Kelly doesn’t think much of Wilde telling the future with cards, because she controls her own destiny. Taylor pulls out the tower card and it’s KiLynn King coming in from behind to chair Kelly down. A Death Valley Driver plants Kelly again. I’ve liked King in the past so this is interesting.

Still at the grave, PCO swings his shovel at a rock.

The Death Dollz teleport in to console Killer Kelly, with Rosemary telling her that she needs to grasp the darker realm. Kelly doesn’t seem convinced but says she can handle a 2-1 situation herself. With Kelly gone, KiLynn King and Taylor Wilde come in to make the Knockouts Tag Team Titles challenge. Rosemary is in, if King and Wilde agree to give up the dark arts if they lose. Deal.

Eddie Edwards arrives at the grave but there is no PCO. Then PCO pops up behind him but misses the big swing with the shovel. They fight a bit and PCO sends him into a rock. Eddie manages to grab the shovel but PCO drops him with a reverse DDT (as you do in a fight by a grave). PCO sends him into the grave but here’s a car to run PCO over. Eddie gets in the car and rides away but we never see who is driving.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Knockouts Title: Gisele Shaw vs. Mickie James

Shaw, with Jai Vidal and Savannah Evans, is challenging and Deonna Purrazzo is on commentary. Mickie takes her down with a headlock to start but gets reversed into a headscissors. Back up and they fight over wrist control until Mickie sends her outside for a crash to send us to a break.

We come back with Shaw sending her into the corner to take over. Mickie’s Thesz press gives her a breather though and they slowly slug it out. Shaw gets the better of things and grabs a reverse chinlock to keep James down. Back up and Shaw charges into a boot in the corner, allowing Mickie to hurricanrana her out. The comeback is on but Mickie has to dive onto the goons on the floor.

Shaw gets in a cheap shot to take over again though and the chops have Mickie in trouble in the corner. A pull of the hair drops Mickie again but she explodes out of the corner for the double knockdown. Mickie strikes away and hits a flapjack as the referee seems to tell her how much time is left. The top rope Thesz press gets two on Shaw but Vidal’s distraction breaks up the MickieDT. Purrazzo breaks that up so Shaw grabs a rollup, only to have Purrazzo turn it back over so Mickie can retain at 17:00.

Rating: B-. This match got a lot of time and the ending seems to bring Purrazzo either into the title picture or in line for a showdown with Shaw (or perhaps both). For now though, these two had a good match, with Shaw holding up her end and James being her usual awesome self. It felt like a big time main event and that is a hard trick to pull off a lot of the time.

Overall Rating: C+. This show got better as it went on but there were definitely some rocky points. There are some parts here which just aren’t very good and give me no reason to want to see what happens in them from week to week. Stuff such as Ray vs. Dreamer and the Design/Callihan stuff is just there with few positives to either of them and it hurts to watch them. Then on the other hand you have the solid Knockouts division and the main event feuds, though a lot of that seems to be on hold until we get closer to the build to Rebellion. For now though, the bad stuff gets bailed out, as the positives are quite positive.

Results
Bhupinder Gujjar b. Bully Ray via DQ when Ray hit him low
Rhino b. Callihan – Gore
Jordynne Grace b. Alex Gracia – Grace Driver
Kushida b. Jonathan Gresham – Hoverboard Lock
Mickie James b. Gisele Shaw – Rollup

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – March 2, 2023: They Needed Some New Blood

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 2, 2023
Location: Sam’s Town Hotel & Gambling Hall, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

We are done with No Surrender and that means we are at least one step closer to Rebellion in April. Josh Alexander is still the World Champion after retaining over Rich Swann, but now Steve Maclin is waiting on the champ. That should make for a good buildup and they have time to make it work. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of No Surrender.

Here is the Bullet Club for a chat to start. Chris Bey is rather happy about what he and Ace Austin have been doing lately, including beating the Motor City Machine Guns (in a six man tag) at No Surrender. Bey talks about helping set up the ring in this building before making his Impact Wrestling debut here as well. It turns out that Austin debuted here too but he would rather talk about beating Chris Sabin.

After revealing Austin’s “I BEAT CHRIS SABIN”, we get a quick audience poll over who the best team around here really is. Cue the Motor City Machine Guns, with Sabin asking how long the Club has been together. The Guns have been around since 2006 and they’re still the champs. The Club says that is just because they haven’t gotten a fair shot. Maybe they could fix that at Sacrifice? The Guns talk about how they are still the best team and offer the title match tonight. Game/match on.

Shane Haste, who is going to be part of Multiverse United on March 30, he is ready to take out Mike Bailey tonight. He even throws in some karate moves.

Rich Swann cuts off a question about his loss at No Surrender to admit that yes, he did lose. That doesn’t sit well with him but he isn’t going to let that loss define him. He wants the World Title back but here are Raj Singh and Shera, the former of which has a lot of money that he keeps handing out. Swann isn’t happy and is ready to fight Shera but Singh calms it down and wants to hit the casino instead.

Mike Bailey vs. Shane Haste

Bailey takes him down to start and they grapple on the mat until Haste has to duck a big kick. A snapmare sets up a basement dropkick to the back of Bailey’s head but he strikes his way out of trouble. The bouncing kicks send Haste to the apron but he’s fine enough to drop Bailey onto the apron. Bailey’s head is crushed against the post before Haste takes him back inside for a Saito suplex.

We take a break and come back with Haste still hammering away but getting shoved off the top. A missile dropkick hits Haste and Bailey gets to kick away. Haste kicks him in the face though and suplexes him into a cutter for two. Bailey fights back and sends him outside for a springboard moonsault. One heck of a dropkick sets up a sitout Last Ride for two on Bailey back inside. Bailey counters a fireman’s carry into a poisonrana though and a superkick drops Haste again. The Ultimate Weapon finishes Haste at 14:40.

Rating: C+. This was a hard hitting match that made Haste look good but Bailey is too big of a star to lose here. Haste is someone who will be around at Multiverse United and then leave while Bailey is likely to be around a lot longer. It wouldn’t surprise me to see Bailey in the World Title hunt sooner rather than later so he isn’t losing here.

The Design is in the back when Rhino comes in. Rhino doesn’t like what the team does and he won’t let them do it to Sami Callihan. Cue Callihan to say he’s where he wants to be, so Rhino says he’ll knock some sanity into Callihan. Deaner calls this step #6.

Kenny King vs. Kevin Knight

King isn’t interested in a handshake and elbows Knight in the face instead. Knight is back up and knocks King outside, which means a missed dive with King sidestepping him in a not quite Samoa Joe counter. King tries to throw him back in but gets caught with a dive. Back in for real this time and King strikes him down for two before grabbing the reverse chinlock.

The swinging backbreaker gets two on Knight and we’re off to a camel clutch. Knight is back up with some rollups for two each, followed by a pump kick. A springboard spinning crossbody gives Knight two but King grabs a spinebuster for the same. The Royal Flush gives King the pin at 6:01.

Rating: C. Knight is someone who has potential but for now he is in need of ring time. He wrestles an exciting enough style and can work with anyone, though King seems like he is on the way to a title shot sooner than later. This was a completely watchable match, though it didn’t come near the next level.

We look at Kushida holding Josh Alexander in the Hoverboard Lock during the pin in a tag match at New Japan Battle In The Valley.

Josh Alexander is read to face Kushida at Rebellion. First though, he has to get by Kushida at Multiverse United, but first he wants a six man tag at Sacrifice. It can be Kushida/the Motor City Machine Guns against Alexander and whomever he can find. Cue Steve Maclin to say keep the title safe until Rebellion.

We look at Bully Ray throwing coffee at Tommy Dreamer at No Surrender.

The doctor tells Santino Marella and Dirty Dango about Dreamer’s condition. Bully Ray comes in to make sure Dreamer will live so he can beat Dreamer up. Bhupinder Gujjar comes in to yell at Ray, who doesn’t have time for this because Gujjar won’t be relevant in ten years. Gujjar grabs him by the sweatshirt and says Dreamer is his friend. Ray can respect that…and then slaps him in the face.

Here is Mickie James to be glad about retaining her Knockouts Title against Masha Slamovich at No Surrender. No one said she could do it but then she did it. Now though, there is a little bit of controversy as Jordynne Grace is saying Mickie tapped out at Hard To Kill. Mickie has been saying that since she got done with Masha…and here are Gisele Shaw and company to interrupt.

Shaw says Mickie is going after Grace to hide from the real challenger and ducking her. Mickie brings up that she beat Shaw already, but Shaw says that wasn’t THIS version of her. We hear about how great Shaw is and she says she’s waiting for Mickie when Mickie is done with Grace. Mickie is ready to fight now but Shaw isn’t in her gear. That’s the difference between a diva and a woman as Mickie still wants to fight, so here is Gail Kim to make the match.

Moose comes in to see Brian Myers and says he wants to humiliate Joe Hendry. Myers seems intrigued. Hendry has beaten Moose twice now. Why is this still going?

Jordynne Grace isn’t happy with Gisele Shaw getting a title shot but she’ll have hers at Sacrifice. Santino Marella says deal but then gets interrupted by Johnny Swinger and Zicky Dice. Swinger says no one can win fifty straight matches and he is tired of having everyone against him. Marella makes him a deal: he can pick ANYONE on the roster to face. Works for Swinger.

PCO vs. Trey Miguel

Non-title and this could be interesting. Miguel bails to the apron to start but gets pulled in for a crash. PCO blasts him with a clothesline and they head outside with PCO hitting a hard backbreaker. The running flip dive through the ropes only hits floor though and the PCO shaped thud sounds rather painful. We take a break and come back with Miguel kicking him down but PCO stands right back up. There’s a pop up powerbomb to plant Miguel again but Eddie Edwards comes in and hits PCO in the back with a shovel for the DQ at 8:42.

Rating: C+. I liked this one and could go for more with either being the good or bad guy. Miguel having to run and try to survive against the monster is interesting but Miguel trying to slay the monster as the underdog hero could work as well. This could have been more but Edwards vs. PCO is the real feud and you don’t want your champion losing, even to someone as unstoppable as PCO.

Post match PCO goes after Edwards, with security breaking it up. That’s fine with PCO, who PCOsaults down onto all of them (that was scary/great).

Here is what is coming on various shows, including a Mercedes Mone promo for her match against Kairi.

Tag Team Titles: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Bullet Club

Bullet Club is challenging. Sabin and Austin flip out of an exchange of wristlocks to start but everyone comes in for the staredown. Shelley comes in to take Austin down but it’s off to Bey for the slugout. Everything breaks down and Sabin accidentally shoulders Shelley in the corner. The Guns are sent outside for the stereo suicide dives as the Club is rolling here.

Back in and Austin slices Shelley’s mouth with the playing card before sliding the card up his sleeve (he’s not a great magician if you can see it on national TV). Shelley manages a shot to Bey’s weakened (by Kushida over the last few weeks, as mentioned by commentary) arm and Sabin gets in a cheap shot behind the referee’s back (that’s different). Sabin even dives off the apron to drop Bey on the floor as Shelley takes Austin off the apron (and takes his place to offer Bey a tag in a funny bit). The Border City Stretch doesn’t last long but Sabin kicks Bey’s arm from the apron as we take a break.

Back with Shelley chopping the post instead of Bey and Sabin doing the same. Bey still can’t get over for the tag as Sabin stomps on the arm on the apron. An enziguri gets Bey out of trouble and it’s Austin coming back in to start cleaning house. Everything breaks down and Bey hits the one armed flip dive to drop the Guns.

Back in and Sabin hits his tornado DDT/dropkick combination but Austin kicks Sabin down again. Sabin gets a standing Kimura on Bey as Shelley takes Austin down by the leg. Cradle Shock is broken up and Bey hits a quick cutter on Sabin. Shelley gets dropped with a cutter of his own but the assisted Art of Finesse is broken up. A doomsday missile dropkick hits Bey and Shell Shock gives Shelley two.

The Border City Stretch sends Bey to the rope so Shelley puts it on again. Austin’s save fails as he gets caught in Cradle Shock as Bey reverses Shelley into a rollup for two more. The Guns kick Bey in the head but Austin makes the save. A pair of spinning kicks to the head send Sabin outside. The assisted Art of Finesse into the Fold is enough to give Bey the pin and the titles at 22:04.

Rating: B. This was a heck of a match and it was interesting to see the roles reversed. You don’t see the Guns working heel that often and while they were only leaning into it here, it was different enough to catch your attention. At the same time, the Club won completely clean, which is more than I would have expected. Awesome match here and the Club feels like a breakout team waiting to happen.

The new champs celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The main event is by far the best part here and it anchored a strong show. They have some momentum coming out of No Surrender, but at the same time, they are now building towards three shows at once. That could get more than a little complicated, but at least Rebellion is far enough away that Sacrifice and Multiverse United can be covered before we get there. Very good show here and I liked pretty much everything.

Results
Mike Bailey b. Shane Haste – Ultimate Weapon
Kenny King b. Kevin Knight – Royal Flush
PCO b. Trey Miguel via DQ when Eddie Edwards interfered
Bullet Club b. Motor City Machine Guns – Fold to Shelley

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling – February 9, 2023: Fare Not Well

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 9, 2023
Location: Osceola Heritage Park, Kissimmee, Florida
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

No Surrender is coming up and most of the card has been set up so far. That includes the World Title match, which has not exactly gotten a ton of hype. Maybe it is because it seems we have another challenger on the horizon, but Rich Swann challenging Josh Alexander isn’t exactly feeling huge. Hopefully they can get some more of it covered this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Matt Cardona arrives and says he’s in the main event tonight. He is shown to his private dressing room with champagne and shrimp cocktails, but it turns out this is Joe Hendry’s room. Cardona is shown to a closet instead.

No Surrender #1 Contenders Qualifying Match: Brian Myers vs. Dirty Dango

They run the ropes to start until Dango armdrags him into an armbar. Myers’ sunset flip is blocked and Dango drops a leg before they head outside. A posting cuts Dango off and of course Myers is fine to try for a countout. Back in and we hit the chinlock, complete with trash talking. Dango fights up and they collide for a double knockdown. A Russian legsweep sets up the Dirtbag Shuffle, followed by a top rope ax handle to send Myers outside. That’s fine with Myers who hits a Roster Cut on the floor, followed by another inside for the pin at 6:50.

Rating: C. I’m kind of digging the more serious Dango, who has been shifting away from a lot of the comedy and wrestling more traditional matches. As it turns out, he can do those well enough to get by and even do well in some places. Myers is a bigger name and easier to take more seriously so it makes sense for him to win, but Dango has been doing well lately.

Gisele Shaw, with Jai Vidal, messes up a few meals at catering. Deonna Purrazzo doesn’t like what Shaw has been saying lately though and throws what looks like chili in her face. Santino Marella comes in to make a No Surrender match.

Trey Miguel thinks Crazzy Steve is in fact crazy and wants nothing more to do with him. Steve’s laughter is heard and a bloody version of Miguel’s logo appears. Miguel freaks out.

Good Hands vs. Mickie James/Tommy Dreamer

Before the match, the Good Hands talk about how much they hate Florida, which is nowhere as valuable as a hand. Mickie and Hotch start things off with Mickie taking him down without much effort. Dreamer comes in to stay on the arm with James coming right back in with a top rope ax handle to said arm. Skyler comes in so Dreamer sends both of the Hands outside.

Dreamer’s dive off the apron takes both of them down again, followed by Mickie hitting a big dive of her own. The Texas Cloverleaf is on but Hotch makes a quick save. It’s Dreamer getting taken down in the corner for a hip attack but he’s right back up with a cutter. Mickie comes back in to clean house, including the flapjack into the top rope Thesz press. The MickieDT finishes Hotch at 5:22.

Rating: C. Intergender wrestling can be tricky to pull off but they made it work well here. James is one of the most successful women’s wrestlers of all time and it isn’t too much to believe that she could beat one of Bully Ray’s lackeys. Dreamer vs. Ray is still a bit much to take as one of the bigger feuds in the company, but that is where everything seems to be heading.

Post match Bully Ray comes in and decks Dreamer, allowing Masha Slamovich to come in and take out Mickie.

Johnny Swinger, with Zicky Dice, asks Santino Marella for his next match as part of his path to 50 wins. Dirty Dango, the Deputy Director Of Authority, comes in to cut off a bribe attempt but Dice knows someone Swinger can beat.

Video on Rich Swann and how important it was to him to be World Champion. He didn’t get to have fans around, but he knows he inspired a lot of people. Then he lost to Kenny Omega when AEW worked with Impact. Josh Alexander wound up as champion so now Swann wants his belt back. He has his mojo back, so now he needs the title to go with it. This was a different look at Swann and the best thing in the build to the title match thus far.

Steph DeLander vs. Jordynne Grace

DeLander was Persia Pirotta in NXT and here, she promises to be everyone’s worst nightmare. DeLander starts fast by sending her to the apron but Grace powers her way out of trouble. With DeLander on the floor, Grace hits a dropkick through the ropes for two back inside. A quick shot lets DeLander have a breather though and we hit the chinlock.

Grace is right back up though and shrugs off a suplex, setting up the dead lift German suplex for two on DeLander. The Grace Driver is blocked so Grace sends her into the corner. DeLander grabs Snake Eyes into a big boot (seems to be an Undertaker fan), only to have Grace pop back up. The Grace Driver finishes DeLander at 5:02.

Rating: C. Another just ok match in a series of them tonight as DeLander got in a bunch but wound up losing to the bigger star. Grace is going to be back in the title picture sooner than later so giving her a win, even while breaking a sweat, is a good thing. That being said, DeLander was hardly a big star in NXT and I’m not sure how much value she has coming in here. Maybe she can prove herself, and she did start well here.

Matt Cardona is still mad about having to change in a closet so he asks for another dressing room. He gets another one….which is outside.

Josh Alexander respects Rich Swann and knows that Swann only lost one match on one night. Now Swann has his chance to get back but here is Kenny King to interrupt. King wants to know why he isn’t getting a title shot but Swann comes in to say King has to earn it. Swann punches him in the face and Alexander lets them go, only to have King back off.

Killer Kelly/Taylor Wilde vs. Death Dollz

Non-title and it’s Taya Valkyrie and Rosemary for the Dollz. Taya takes Kelly down to start and it’s off to Rosemary to hammer away with right hands. A fall away slam out of the corner sets up the Upside Down as Wilde is looking at her tarot cards on the apron. Wilde comes in and grabs a quick backbreaker to take Rosemary down for the first time.

A fisherman’s suplex gives Kelly two and it’s right back to Wilde for some forearms. Rosemary manages her half of a double clothesline, which is enough to bring Taya back in. Kelly manages to take her down again but Wilde finds the devil card. That means she won’t tag in, allowing a Road To Valhalla with an X Factor from Rosemary to finish Kelly at 6:03.

Rating: C+. Impact’s Knockouts division deserves a lot of credit as they have turned it into something rather entertaining most of the time. There is some depth here and Kelly and Wilde are coming along quite well. The Death Dollz need some challengers though and I’m not sure if there is a team around at the moment to fill that spot.

Post match it’s Father James Mitchell making his return and saying Rosemary hasn’t been paying proper respect to Mitchell’s boss/her father. Therefore, Mitchell is here with a hex….in the form of the Hex, Marti Belle/Allysin Kay (former NWA Women’s Tag Team Champions). The Dollz are laid out.

Eddie Edwards wants Shera to take out PCO as an act of friendship. Edwards seems to offer money as an extra incentive.

Kushida praises the Motor City Machine Guns for their success. The Bullet Club comes in and seems to want a title shot but get a six man tag at No Surrender, with Kenta being promised as their partner.

No Surrender #1 Contenders Qualifying Match: PCO vs. Shera

Raj Singh is here as PCO hammers on Shera to start. A punch to the throat sends Shera outside to set up the suicide flip dive as the fans approve of PCO. Singh’s distraction lets Shera get in a few shots of his own but PCO, busted open, sits up and looks a bit perturbed. PCO runs Shera over while screaming about Eddie Edwards. The PCOsault finishes Shera at 3:10.

Rating: C. The match was more or less a squash and I can appreciate it going that way. There is only so much of a reason to believe that Shera was anything resembling a threat to PCO so just let him run Shera over. PCO isn’t likely to win at No Surrender, but I could absolutely see him being a challenger of the month as a wild card.

Matt Cardona is back inside and finds Brian Myers in Joe Hendry’s dressing room, but apparently it is just for the shrimp. Some people come in singing Hendry’s song and Myers claps along with them. Myers: “It’s a catchy song.”

Frankie Kazarian tries to talk Sami Callihan out of joining the Design but Sami thinks Kazarian has the sickness. The Design comes in and Kazarian issues a challenge to Big Kon.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Digital Media Title: Joe Hendry vs. Matt Cardona

Hendry is defending and refers to Cardona as Edge’s b**** before the match. He knows the people believe in him though and that’s what will be going through his head during the match. Cardona hits Radio Silence at the bell for two and the kickout leaves him livid. They go outside with Hendry hammering away and sending him right back inside.

A spinning slam sets up a delayed suplex for two on Cardona, who needs a breather on the floor. Cardona sweeps the leg on the apron and grabs a neckbreaker on the outside as we take a break. Back with Cardona choking in the corner, setting up a neckbreaker for two. Hendry tries a suplex but gets reversed into another neckbreaker for another two. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Cardona switches into a guillotine.

That’s reversed with a suplex and they’re both down for a breather. Hendry makes the clothesline comeback, setting up the fall away slam to send Cardona flying. Cardona grabs the rope so a DDT can plant Hendry for two of his own. The Reboot is blocked and Hendry cutters him for two. Another Radio Silence gives Cardona another near fall so here is Brian Myers to throw in the belt. The distraction lets Myers hit the Roster Cut….on Cardona by mistake. Myers is sent outside and the Standing Ovation retains the title at 13:02.

Rating: B-. This got rolling near the end as Hendry can wrestle a good match when he is given the chance. They might have something with him as that charisma can’t be ignored. At the same time, Cardona’s transformation from total goof into solid heel (including the physical transformation) is incredibly impressive. He feels like a star so Hendry beating him is a good step forward.

Post match Moose comes in and goes after Hendry but spears Cardona by mistake. Hendry dispatches Moose and plays Cardona’s new song again to end the show. If that’s not it for Cardona around here, they missed a golden opportunity to send him off in an all time humiliating way.

Overall Rating: C+. Impact got back on their good side this week with a solid enough show that actually made me more interested in the World Title match at No Surrender. Other than that, the Cardona stuff was rather funny as he does a great job at getting humiliated. Fun show here and, as usual, they built towards the future, which is one of their strong suits these days.

Results
Brian Myers b. Dirty Dango – Roster Cut
Mickie James/Tommy Dreamer b. Good Hands – MickieDT to Hotch
Jordynne Grace b. Steph DeLander – Grace Driver
Death Dollz b. Killer Kelly/Taylor Wilde – Road To Valhalla/Facebuster combination to Kelly
PCO b. Shera – PCOsault
Joe Hendry b. Matt Cardona – Standing Ovation

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – February 2, 2023: Who Does That Help?

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 2, 2023
Location: Osceola Heritage Park, Kissimmee, Florida
Commentators: Tom Hannifan, Matthew Rehwoldt

It’s the start of a new month and we are well on our way to No Surrender. Last week saw Rich Swann win a #1 contenders match to earn a shot at Josh Alexander later this month, but it still feels like we are coming up on Steve Maclin as the really big bad. Odds are we see more of the build this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

The setup is different this week as the camera isn’t facing the video screen, making it look more like a WWE or AEW show.

Bullet Club vs. Kevin Knight/Kushida

Knight and Ace start things off with Bey’s headlock not getting him very far. Knight misses a charge into the corner and Bey stomps him in the back, only to get caught with a springboard spinning crossbody. It’s off to Kushida to start in on the arm but it’s right back to Knight, whose springboard is dropkicked out of the air. Austin comes in to stomp Knight down for two and he kicks away at Knight in the corner. The Club starts taking turns on Knight, with Austin grabbing a chinlock.

That’s broken up and Knight dives over for the tag to Kushida. Everything breaks down and Knight and Bey wind up on their opponents’ shoulders for a slugout. With that broken up, Knight dropkicks Bey off Kushida’s shoulders (without needing ropes for a boost) for two but Austin knocks Knight down. Austin gets sent outside so Knight tries a springboard….which is pulled into a cutter from Bey onto the apron (that was SWEET). Back in and the Art of Finesse into the Fold finishes Knight at 9:25.

Rating: C+. This was the kind of match that regularly opens Impact a good chunk of the time and they made it work here. The Club has become a very nice team who can make almost anything work and they did it again this week. Beating Kushida, even without pinning him, is a big deal and I could go with the Club getting a bigger spot.

Deaner isn’t happy with Sami Callihan for losing the Golden Six Shooter last week. He failed there, but he can make up for it with a win tonight.

Steph DeLander (formerly Persia Pirotta in NXT) debuts next week.

Gisele Shaw vs. Savannah Evans

Jai Vidal is with Shaw while Evans wants to prove she can do this herself. They talk trash to start until and Evans punches her into the corner. Shaw strikes away but gets shoulders in the corner and butterfly suplexes back out of it. We take a break and come back with Evans hitting a Samoan drop into a spinebuster for two. A fisherman’s suplex gets the same but a Vidal distraction lets Shaw hit a superkick. The running knee finishes Evans at 8:24.

Rating: C-. Shaw is doing something interesting with the Black Widow thing and it makes sense for her to win here. If nothing else, she is getting more of a character and that is something that has been lacking for a long time. The match wasn’t very good, but at least it went the right way.

Post match Shaw says some people call her the Black Widow of the Knockouts Division because she gets rid of people. She doesn’t care how many people she has run off and belongs in the spotlight because she is a star.

Kenny King runs into two guys and doesn’t like that they aren’t talking about him. King steals their chips and then runs into Zicky Dice and Johnny Swinger. More disrespect ensues and King is ready to get a match with Swinger as a result. Swinger isn’t pleased, but he’ll trust Dice.

Post break Santino Marella makes a match between King and Swinger. King leaves and here is Steve Maclin to say he should be #1 contender. Marella puts him in a match to get to a #1 contenders match at No Surrender. Maclin isn’t pleased but leaves, with Dirty Dango coming in. Dango will do whatever Marella needs, but he wants in one of the qualifying matches too. Deal.

Crazzy Steve vs. Sheldon Jean

Black Taurus is here with Steve. They fight over wrist control to start with Jean taking him down by the head and getting in a kick. Back up and Steve bites him in the face, setting up some clotheslines in the corner. There’s the Cannonball and Belladonna’s Kiss finishes Jean at 2:25.

Post match Trey Miguel runs in with the spray paint but Steve takes it away and paints himself.

Jordynne Grace has her guaranteed rematch for the Knockouts Champion but for now she’ll settle for beating up Steph DeLander next week.

Santino Marella comes in to see Raven, who has an idea of how to make money for the company: make Raven the champ. Reese (of WCW fame) comes in to ask if they’re getting the Flock together. Raven: “Shut up Yeti.”

Here is Bully Ray for a chat. After a lot of booing, Ray talks about how he doesn’t think people like him. Management, the fans, the industry as a whole? None of them like him! Ray knows that the boss doesn’t like him because he wasn’t in the #1 contenders match with former World Champions. Ray: “Raise your hand if you know what I’m talking about. Now look at everybody doing what I tell them to do.” After a warning to Santino Marella, Ray shifts over to Tommy Dreamer, who has never gotten along with him. Dreamer is nothing but a phony who wants everyone to love him but that can’t happen.

Cue Mickie James to interrupt because Ray interrupted her big moment. Mickie finds it funny that Ray is calling Dreamer a politicking liar when that is all Ray does. Ray tells her to stop smiling and threatens violence before calling her a tramp. That earns Ray a slap so Ray slams her (NOT A SLAM!). Cue the Good Hands for a table but Dreamer makes the save. Violence is teased but here is Santino Marella to make Mickie/Dreamer vs. the Good Hands. That hardly seems fair.

Killer Kelly has already beaten Taylor Wilde but Wilde won’t leet it go. If Wilde wants another match, so be it. Cue Wilde, who wants to team with Kelly. The Death Dollz teleport in and the match seems to be made.

Johnny Swinger vs. Kenny King

Zicky Dice is here with Swinger, who is still trying to win 50 matches to get a World Title match. Swinger hides in the ropes over and over before bailing into the corner from the threat of a kick to the face. Dice offers a distraction but King kicks Swinger in the face anyway. The Royal Flush finishes Swinger at 1:43.

Post match King puts every champion on notice and says he’s coming for the titles.

Bully Ray comes up to Masha Slamovich and wants her to beat up Mickie James at No Surrender. Slamovich doesn’t seem to speak English.

Matt Cardona debuts a rap video in response to Joe Hendry. Apparently he’s going to take Hendry’s mom on a date. With the video over, Brian Myers reminds Cardona that he is married. No matter though, as Cardona is going to take the title.

Here’s what’s coming on various shows.

Josh Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian/Yuya Uemura vs. Callihan/The Design

Callihan seems to have lost his first name. Deaner and Swann start things off but it’s off to Callihan before anything happens. Callihan takes over and hands it off to Deaner, who gets taken down. Uemura hits a dropkick to take over and Alexander comes in, with Deaner biting him head. Everything breaks down and Kon sends Swann to the apron, where a big flip dive takes out the pile at ringside.

We take a break and come back with Kazarian chopping Angels and Uemura nowhere to be seen. Kazarian hits the springboard legdrop but it’s off to Swann, who gets taken down for a change. Deaner comes in to drop an elbow before handing it off to Kon. Uemura is back on the apron as Kon works on a nerve hold. The Design takes turns beating on Swann, including Deaner hitting a middle rope dropkick.

Kon punches the post though and the diving tag brings in Alexander to clean house. Kon and Alexander have their big showdown with Alexander not being able to hit the German suplex. Everything breaks down and Deaner counters the C4 Spike. We hit the parade of secondary finishers until Deaner pushes Uemura off the top. The Cactus Driver finishes for Callihan at 16:45.

Rating: C+. This was a weird one as they did a lot of the stuff right, but it didn’t do anything to make more more interested in seeing Swann vs. Alexander. If nothing else, this was more about Callihan and the Design, which is hardly a story that I need to see keep going. It was a completely decent, if not pretty good, eight man main event, but I’m not sure how much it accomplished.

Overall Rating: C. Kind of a weird show here as it built towards a bunch of stuff, but I’m not sure how interesting most of it is going to be. The majority of the show’s big angles were Callihan/The Design and Mickie James/Tommy Dreamer vs. Bully Ray. That sounds like something you get from a random match generator rather than a regular show, but Impact has actually earned the benefit of the doubt lately. Not a bad show, but a skippable one.

Results
Bullet Club b. Kevin Knight/Kushida – Fold to Knight
Gisele Shaw b. Savannah Evans – Running knee
Crazzy Steve b. Sheldon Jean – Belladonna’s Kiss
Kenny King b. Johnny Swinger – Royal Flush
Design/Callihan b. Yuyu Uemura/Josh Alexander/Rich Swann/Frankie Kazarian – Cactus Driver to Uemura

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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