Wrestlemania 4
Date: March 27, 1988
Location: Trump Plaza, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Attendance: 18,165
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
America The Beautiful: Gladys Knight

This show was in a way a turning point and in a way a step backwards for the WWF. There was no way that Wrestlemania 3 was going to be topped. The problem was, after Hogan had beaten Andre the previous year, there was no one left to challenge him that would be seen as a legitimate contender. The only option was a rematch with Hogan and Andre, but Andre was hurting badly here and would need time off after the match.

Also, the title had to be taken off of Hogan for awhile to refresh his character. Now this whole show is based around one incident that took place two days after I was born on a live broadcast called The Main Event. After everyone had seen Hogan allegedly get pinned the previous year, we all needed a rematch. In between there was a new PPV developed called the Survivor Series that was established solely to continue Hogan and Andre’s feud. Now that is a sign of a huge feud.

So, on February 5, 1988, we got one. Hulk Hogan against Andre the Giant for the World’s Heavyweight Championship on free television. You may hear about Raw getting a 4.3 and it being huge. This show got a 15.8. That is a record that has never even been remotely approached and never will be. Anyway, this time around Andre had Ted DiBiase in his corner. Hogan knocks Andre down and leg drops him, but there’s no referee because of Virgil, DiBiase’s body guard.

Hogan goes after Virgil as Andre gets up. Andre headbutts Hogan a few times and lands a butterfly suplex and covers him. Hogan clearly gets his shoulder up at two but the referee doesn’t stop his count. Andre is declared the champion and immediately hands the belt to DiBiase, who had spent months trying to buy the title from Hogan. Immediately after this, another referee comes down that is literally identical to the referee that just called the match.

It’s the Hebners, that no one ever knew were identical twins. On Sunday, the President of the WWF Jack Tunney declares the title vacant and announces a one night, single elimination, 14 man tournament to determine the undisputed champion. Hogan and Andre both get byes into the second round as they were the two that started all this.

If you can handle anymore history about this show, this was also one of the first true battles in what would become WCW vs. WWF. WCW (the NWA but for the sake of sanity we’ll call it what it would become), had a PPV in November called Bunkhouse Stampede. Vince had come up with the Survivor Series and wanted to force WCW out of the spot.

He threatened to not allow the PPV companies to air Wrestlemania if they didn’t air the Survivor Series instead of Bunkhouse Stampede. The PPV companies gave in and a huge majority aired Survivor Series while only a handful aired WCW’s show, which they had initially agreed to show. Fast forward five months and it’s time for Wrestlemania 4. WCW is still ticked off about November.

One thing you have to factor in is PPV was a VERY different thing back then. In 1986 there was 1 WWF PPV which was Wrestlemania 2. In 87 there were two, 88 had 3 with the introduction of Summerslam and 89 had 4 which I believe was the standard until 1991 or 1992. It wasn’t until about 1996 that the PPV schedule became what it is today. But anyway, WCW had to retaliate so they came up with what was called the Clash of the Champions.

What this was more or less was a PPV on free television. Beginning at the same time as WM 4 but ending almost two hours earlier, COTC clearly pulled away a lot of viewers. It was headlined by Sting vs. Ric Flair for the World Title in what just about everyone agrees was the night Sting established himself as a legitimate superstar. The war was on and it would heat up soon but we’ll get to that later. Let’s get to it.

20 Man Battle Royal

Boris Zhukov, Brian Blair, Danny Davis, George Steele, Harley Race, Hillbilly Jim, Jacques Rougeau, Jim Brunzell, Jim Neidhart, Jim Powers, Junkyard Dog, Ken Patera, Nikolai Volkoff, Paul Roma, Bad News Brown, Raymond Rougeau, Ron Bass, Sam Houston, and Sika.

After that long winded explanation, the show is underway in a completely unrelated 20 man battle royal. There’s a huge trophy for the winner which just looks out of place in a wrestling match. Before the match Bob Uecker joins up with Gorilla and Jesse for the first match. Also on the show is Vanna White but she won’t be seen until later. Anyway back to the match.

Big names in this include Bret Hart, Bad News Brown who I always was a mark for, JYD and Harley Race. It’s really a who’s who of the midcard and not much more. This is the first of 16 matches on the card so this is going to be a LONG night. A subplot in this match is George Steel who is in the match but never actually gets in the ring. Pretty standard battle royal with various people punching and kicking each other as people are randomly eliminated.

The final three are the JYD, Bad News Brown and Bret Hart. The heels team up on JYD and eventually eliminate him. The pair agree to split the winnings but Bad News hits an enziguri on Bret and throws him out. Post match, Bret comes in and beats up Brown before destroying the trophy.

Rating: C. It’s hard to rate battle royals as it’s really just waiting until the end. Not much here but the post match stuff is fun to see. It’s time for the first match of the tournament which has time limits of 15 minutes. Robin Leech reads a proclamation that no one cares about to kick us off.

First Round Match: Jim Duggan vs. Ted DiBiase

Before the match, Jesse explains that only winners advance and that in the case of a draw both are eliminated. First round matches have 15 minute time limits, second are 20 minutes, third are 30 minutes, and the final has no limit.

DiBiase has Andre and Virgil with him for this match. Pretty simple match as we have a power brawler against a technician. Pretty back and forth which is fun but you knew the way this was ending before it starts. Duggan goes for his finisher and Andre grabs his foot and punches him as DiBiase hits him with a knee and pins him to advance.

Rating: C-. Fine for what it was, but predictable. Duggan was more or less a walking definition of cannon fodder here as DiBiase was destined to go on to the finals here and continue to be the top heel in the company. This was a decent enough match but it really wasn’t anything special at all.

Beefcake talks about winning the IC title tonight.

First Round Match: Don Muraco vs. Dino Bravo

Bravo has Frenchy Martin with him who was a pointless manager that was around for a year or two. Muraco has Billy Graham who has him wearing tye dye. This leads to Jesse continuing one of his running jokes that Graham stole the idea from him. Gorilla counters with “Graham was world champion once too.”

Jesse says that he never went for it that hard and Graham beat a weak champion. Funny antics always. Anyway, this is power vs. power here and not incredibly great. They trade power moves and holds for awhile until Muraco starts to get the advantage. End comes when Muraco hits the ropes and Bravo pulls the referee in leading to the DQ.

Rating: D+. Nothing of note here in a rather boring match. Muraco was again just filling in space and not really worth much. Bravo was floundering around for the vast majority of his WWF career and this was certainly no exception. Pretty boring match and it never went anywhere at all.

Bob Uecker is with the Honky Tonk Man who says Brutus isn’t going to cut any hair tonight.

First Round Match: Ricky Steamboat vs. Greg Valentine

Now this match is a match that changed Steamboat’s career. Allegedly he asked for some time off to be with his newborn son and Vince said no way. Dragon was gone a few months later and was in the NWA again, although he would up as a world champion there, so take it however you want it.

What are you expecting here? Of course the match is solid. It’s back and forth all match with Dragon chopping the tar out of Valentine and then bumping like a madman. We see a shot of Donald Trump at ringside. Dragon and Valentine go back and forth and put on a solid match with Dragon pulling away at the end. He goes up for a high cross body but Valentine rolls through it and uses the tights for a pin.

Rating:C. Not bad but not great, could have been very good with another 7-8 minutes. These two are the epitome of old school and the match more or less was as well. Valentine could have been something very special if not for Hogan coming in and changing wrestling for all time. Steamboat was gone very soon after this.

Bulldogs and Koko have trained Matilda to be a weasel dog. Heenan’s nickname was Weasel in case that made no sense at all.

First Round Match: Randy Savage vs. Butch Reed

Reed has a great chance for the upset here don’t you think?

*steps on all the crickets*

Reed was supposed to be a big deal but that never came to pass. He was even scheduled to be a Horseman but again it didn’t happen. I never got the appeal of him but that’s just me. Liz looks GREAT in blue. Reed struts to start and Savage can’t get anything going for the most part. Again I ask those that say Savage was a power guy: when was this ever the case? I’ve never seen it.

Jesse and Gorilla agree that Steamboat losing to Valentine is an upset. That’s rather odd indeed. This is rather boring to put it mildly. Reed hits a fist drop off the middle rope for no cover as it’s all Reed here. Savage gets some punches in but gets his head taken off with a clothesline. Reed goes up to the top like an idiot and talks FOREVER before getting slammed off. Elbow sends Savage to the semis.

Rating: D. Too short to get anything going but the elbow is always sweet. Reed’s jawing was just kind of stupid and I don’t get the point in having him dominate the vast majority of this one only to have a pair of moves end this. It wasn’t horrible but it needed more going on than what it had if that makes sense.

Heenan and the Islanders say that they’re not worried about Matilda or the Bulldogs.

First Round Match: One Man Gang vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

I can feel Irish’s jaw hitting the floor from here. Bigelow has Oliver Humperdink with him while Gang has Slick. Those might be the best manager names ever. Gang continues to be one of the worst big men of all time. Bammer is impressing me here, even throwing up a cross body block. For a guy weighing 393, that’s very impressive. Bam Bam dominates and is going for something but Slick pulls the rope down sending him to the floor for a count out in a cheap finish.

Rating: N/A. Decent clash of titans but the ending was just awful. Bigelow was supposed to get a huge push soon after this and it just never came, which I believe was due to a knee injury. Again though with less than three minutes, how into it can I get when almost a minute of that is brawling on the floor?

Hulk Hogan then says that he’s going to slam Andre in one of the most insane promos I’ve ever seen. He talks about the fault line breaking off and everyone falling into the ocean and how Donald Trump would be smart enough to let go of his materialistic possessions and dog paddle with his wife and kids to safety.

Then Hogan talks about taking all of the Hulkamaniacs on the largest back in the world and dog paddling and backstroking all the way to safety. If they’re on his back and he backstrokes, wouldn’t they kind of drown? God bless cocaine.

First Round Match: Rick Rude vs. Jake Roberts

Rude is about as perfectly evil as you can be and he plays it beautifully. Jake’s music was just awesome always. This match is solid but a tad boring. One of the great things about it though was you had no idea at all who was going to win it which to me is what makes a match better. What’s the point in watching a predictable match barring being a diehard fan of either person in it?

There was a red hot feud between these two a few months before this and it didn’t ever get the proper blowoff that it should. This match is about fifteen minutes long and maybe 5 minutes or more is chinlock. Jake escapes and goes for the DDT but can’t get it and then back to the chinlock. The draw is clearer than any draw should possibly be. They might as well just have a big sign advertising it.

These two go back and forth but the pace is just too slow. Crowd breaks out a boring chant more than once. Jake keeps wanting the DDT the whole match and Rude keeps trying to get out of it. Finally we get down late in the match and the draw looms over us. After a much better ending, we get to that point and the One Man Gang is in the semifinals.

Rating: D. Solid ending but getting there was a bit painful. I think this match is 40% chinlock. Don’t like the draw either. There were stretches of probably five minutes where I had ZERO to talk about due to it being nothing but bare basics and chinlocks. The crowd is officially dead now so hopefully we get something to perk them up again.

We go to a big bracket to see Vanna White give her limited thought on the tournament. Nothing special here. Vanna looks better with straight hair.

In case you got lost, here’s the updated brackets

Hogan vs. Andre

Dibiase vs. Murago

Savage vs. Valentine

Gang gets a bye and is into the third round already

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hercules

Nothing special to this feud at all as they’re simply fighting over who is stronger than who. Nothing more to it than that. No entrance for Herc here. Warrior is nothing special at all here and is just a guy that destroys jobbers and runs to the ring. They ram into each other which gets them nowhere and then lock up.

Three clotheslines from Hercules take down Warrior which stuns Jesse. This is a lot of striking and the occasional power move. In short, it’s very boring indeed. They fight on the floor and tease a countout but get back in in time.

Warrior gets the punches in the corner but Herc gets an atomic drop out of the corner. Full nelson goes on mostly but Hercules can’t get the fingers locked so Warrior can walk up the turnbuckle and drop backwards before shooting a shoulder up for the pin. Warrior clears the ring with the chain post match.

Rating: D. Oh man this was bad. Neither guy was worth anything but at least it was short. This was a rather boring match and somehow Warrior would be in the big undercard match the following year and the main event the year after that. This was pretty bad though but like I said it was only about five minutes long.

REALLY long recap of the Hogan Andre feud.

Second Round Match: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Andre has DiBiase and Virgil with him for this. Much faster pace than last year’s match which to me is an improvement. Andre just goes off to start this match. Hogan breaks it up with some running punches/forearms but DiBiase gets on the apron. Hogan rams them together with the all time best name move: the Double Noggin Knocker. Andre’s offense here is just so simple that it’s great.

This is one of those matches where you can tell Andre just has nothing left so they’re going with REALLY basic stuff to make it look like he’s still awesome when he can barely move. It says a lot that he wrestled at two more Manias and appeared at #7.

Hogan gets in control, Andre chokes him. Hogan gets knocked down, Andre sits on him. Hogan starts running, Andre turns his back to him and Hogan falls down. It’s so simple yet so effective. Hogan comes back and signals for a slam but DiBiase cracks him with a chair as the ref is distracted. Hogan nails Andre with the chair, Andre hits Hogan with it in one of the worst chair shots I’ve ever seen. Not because of how Andre swung but Hogan just looks awful taking it.

Someone with Hogan swinging first it’s a double DQ and both men are eliminated, meaning the winner of DiBiase and Muraco is in the finals. Hogan hits a running chair shot to knock Andre down then chases off Virgil and DiBiase before going back to slam Andre and pose.

Rating: C. These two getting together is always awesome and the faster pace made it a lot better this time. That being said, the match wasn’t much at all. Andre was DONE at this point and everyone knew it. He was trying though so I’ll give him a ton of credit for that. The ending was the only real way to get rid of both of them to set up a new champion so that’s fine too. Just not long enough to be a great match though.

Randy Savage says good things about Hogan but says one of the Mega Powers will win the title.

Second Round Match: Ted DiBiase vs. Don Muraco

Winner goes to the finals. Muraco tries hard here but absolutely no one thinks he has a chance in this match. This is one of those matches that you could easily have cut out and no one would have really cared at all. It’s ok and Muraco used to be awesome. The problem is that now he’s nothing special at all and everyone knows it.

DiBiase gets dominated early on but catches Muraco in the corner with a slingshot kind of move to break the momentum. Matches like this show me just how good DiBiase is in the ring. He’s simply a master out there. His bumping is just amazing. I wish he would have gotten a run with the title around this time as he certainly was at the top of his game as a heel.

I’m still trying to figure out why this match is getting PPV time. Do we need five minutes for this match? It’s Don Muraco for crying out loud. Muraco charges at him but is picked up and lands a great stun gun to get the three count. Good finish.

Rating: C+. As short as it was I liked this match. It showed what DiBiase could do when he was on his own and that he really was indeed a solid wrestler. Muraco is a great foil for him as he’s trying hard but is just outmatched. Fun little match all around and very few if any mistakes in it. Really liked it.

Mr. Fuji and Demolition don’t like Uecker or Strike Force. Demolition was just awesome in all regards. Their promos were no exceptions at all.

The Fink reminds us that because Snake and Rude went to a draw that the Gang is in the semifinals already.

Second Round Match: Greg Valentine vs. Randy Savage

Same idea here as in Steamboat and Valentine. Do you really expect a bad match from these two? The battle of the elbows begins and it’s pretty solid the whole way though. There’s almost no wasted movement in this match which is just awesome. As expected, it’s all Valentine to start.

Hammer was a guy that could have been a lot better and something really special if not for the whole Hogan changes wrestling forever deal. He was that good back in the day and a world title contender. Time passed him by though and it showed badly.

He works over all of Savage without much of an emphasis on the knee. Valentine was the resident Figure Four dude at this time so it would make sense for him to go after. I guess that’s why he’s going to lose here.

Savage just starts going off on him from out of nowhere which is just kind of cool for some reason. It’s finally broken up when Savage goes for an axe handle from the top and gets punched in the stomach. Savage reverses the figure four into a small package even with Valentine’s should clearly up.

Rating: C+. Seriously, what did you expect here? Of course it’s a solid match. Fast paced with a good ending means a good grade. It was a bit too short to get anything going but they tried at least. Savage would obviously go onto bigger things but Valentine’s career had pretty much peaked by this point.

Vanna White is back again. She’s still annoying.

Intercontinental Title: Brutus Beefcake vs. Honky Tonk Man

Standard Honky Tonk match with him just getting beaten to death as the face looks like there’s no way he can lose. Here’s a few reasons why Honky is miles ahead of Santino. The commentators talk about how he’s the luckiest wrestler alive. He also gets some offense in. A big reason is because Santino tries to be funny. Honky tries to be serious and comes off as funny. Subtle, yet a key difference that made Honky better.

Finally, Honky had a signature move that won him matches. Honky was just much more believable as IC champion and this is a prime example of it. Brutus runs Honky around to start and nothing comes out of it. Jimmy gets involved and Honky takes over. His offense was shall we say limited? This goes on for far longer than it’s possible to stay interested for. Gorilla and Jesse crack jokes to fight the boredom.

Brutus puts on the sleeper but Hart hits the ref with the megaphone. Peggy Sue, Honky’s girlfriend (played amazingly by Sherri Martel) pours water on Honky to wake him up after Brutus chases Jimmy Hart under the ring and is seriously looks as if he’s trying to rape Hart. Just a bad image. He pins him down to the stairs and cuts his hair. Honky wakes up and runs with Hart.

Rating: D+. Decent match, but standard for Honky. He never really got away from that one formula of his which is kind of good actually. It worked, so why change it? When you blow the roof off the Garden like they did when he finally lost the title you must be doing something right. Match was nothing you wouldn’t expect from a Honky IC Title defense.

In for some reason one of the most famous promos of all time, Andre runs into Bob Uecker and reveals that DiBiase’s master plan centered around Andre eliminating Hogan. Uecker tries to mention something and Andre chokes him in what I believe was an unplanned spot.

Islanders and Heenan against Koko B. Ware and the British Bulldogs

Backstory-the Islanders had dog napped Matilda a few weeks ago for no good reason. This is the Bulldogs’ chance to get revenge. Koko is there because they needed a third face that could fill up a spot. Heenan comes out in an attack dog handler’s outfit which looks like an untied straight jacket. Cool idea actually.

This is more or less seven and a half minutes of this: the heels beat down a face, Heenan gets in like two kicks, the face gets up because Heenan only got in like two kicks, Heenan runs and tags out, we repeat that.

Pretty bland match here that is a filler. Heenan does a little but nothing of significance. Islanders launch Heenan into the air to slam him down onto Koko for the pin. Exact same thing they did last year with the Bulldogs.

Rating: D+. Filler that was the same match that happened in the previous year’s six man. Did they really think that little of the Bulldogs? Can you tell I’m getting bored with this show? This is another great example of a match that had no business being on this show. It wasn’t any good anyway and the dog did nothing between the beginning and ending.

Jesse Ventura poses for the crowd. DiBiase is announced as having a bye into the finals.

Semi-Final Match: Randy Savage vs. One Man Gang

You know the drill by now. Savage gets beaten up, comes back, gets beaten up a little more, Slick throws in the cane, ref sees it, DQ.

Rating: D. This match was more or less nothing. We knew almost as soon as Hogan and Andre got eliminated what the finals would be. Why should I care about this match when there’s not even an elbow?

For some reason we see Vanna White talking about the tournament AGAIN and still no one cares.

Tag Titles: Strike Force vs. Demolition

Strike Force had been champions for six months at this point but are somehow still considered transitional champions. Demolition had been around a little over a year at this point but were just now the dominant force that they became famous for being. Martel and Smash start us off. Jesse thinks that the Boston Crab, the move that won the titles for Strike Force, won’t work on Demolition because they’re too big. The hold beat Jim Neidhart though. That’s kind of an odd statement to make Mr. Governor.

Jesse can’t tell Demolition apart. We get a big brawl seconds in and finally get back to the starters. Does that make Tito the first guy off the bench? Strike Force hits double teaming to start which causes Jesse and Gorilla to fight a bit. Tito plays Ricky Morton for a bit as the big guys pound on him.

Tito gets the forearm out of nowhere to put Axe down. Jesse says he learned that in the MFL: the Mexican Football League. I give up. Off to Martel who cleans house. He manages to get the Boston Crab on Smash who is screaming. Fuji gets up to distract the referee and drops the cane, which promptly is wrapped around Martel’s cranium. Smash crawls on top to win the titles.

Rating: C-. This was about as formula based as you could get but the pop at the end sends it over the peak a bit. Demolition looked awesome here and would go on to hold the titles for a mind blowing year and a half which is never going to be touched. Strike Force was more or less done here as they lost the rematch and Martel was out for about 8 months and he turned heel in his first match back with Santana. Nothing great here, but certainly historic.

WWF World Title: Randy Savage vs. Ted DiBiase

This was a very interesting match at the time because no one knew who was going to win it. That to me will always make a match better. From what I’ve heard the original plan was to have Hogan get to the finals with DiBiase and lose thanks to Andre, eventually getting the title back at Summerslam while Savage would win the IC title from Honky either here or at Summerslam. However, Honky refused to do it and they made this the plan. I like the first one better I think.

Anyway, Andre and DiBiase are here against Savage and Liz. Andre keeps cheating so Savage whispers to Liz and everyone knows what’s coming as for about two minutes no one is watching the ring. This is about as simple of an explanation as you could ask for regarding the problems that would plague Savage’s reign.

What possible reason do we need Hogan out there for? Rather than having him out there and taking part of the spotlight, why not have Savage make the Superman comeback and get the title on a rollup when Andre can’t make the save? Instead we have Hogan coming out there, making himself the focus or at least half of it. This right away makes Savage look like a weak champion because Hogan made the save and Savage would have lost without him.

This is the kind of stuff that Savage would be paranoid about and have big delusions over over time. They’re proven right as Hogan comes through the curtain to even the odds. Savage looks dead in the ring which is what he’s supposed to do. The fans are all looking at him now because he’s the new thing they see out there. Anyway, DiBiase mostly destroys Savage with nothing too special as Savage is just dead.

Great false finish as Savage goes for the elbow and the place goes nuts but he misses it. Million Dollar Dream and Savage tries to get to the ropes but Andre pulls it back. Ref warns him and Hogan comes in and nails DiBiase with a chair leading to the elbow and a new champion! Post match sees something very interesting as Hogan, Savage and Liz celebrate. For those that can read lips, you can see Savage say to Hogan, “Please let me have my moment.” Hogan doesn’t leave, and that my friends, started the real life feud between these two.

Rating: B. We had seen these guys WAY too much tonight which is the problem with tournaments. We just get sick of these guys. Savage had 4 matches at this show. He’s one of the best ever but four times in a show is just too much.

Overall Rating: D+. The big problem is how predictable it is once Andre and Hogan are gone. After that you knew it would be Savage or DiBiase. Overall, this Mania is just too long. Ringing in at about 4 hours, there just isn’t enough here to warrant such a time. Savage winning was indeed mind blowing at the time and this show sets up a year’s worth of feuds including the first ever Summerslam where Hogan and Savage faced DiBiase and Andre.

The main issue here is that there were sixteen matches on this. Think about that for a minute. SIXTEEN MATCHES. That’s the vast problem here. Did we really need to see guys like Muraco and Bravo in the tournament? Or did we need to have the six man? This show really could have used 30-60 minutes cut out of it and then it would have been far more watchable.

The other thing this leads to is Hogan and Savage trying to share the spotlight as the Mega Powers which ultimately leads to their split and the main event of next year’s Wrestlemania. Other than that, not a lot really comes out of this show. It’s a decent PPV if you want to see just about every 80s wrestler alive perform but if you’re looking for solid matches, just watch a handful of them or you’ll be asleep by the middle of the show.

 

 

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Wrestlemania III
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon

The wide shot of the stadium to open the show is still one of the best visuals in wrestling. This is what Wrestlemania is supposed to look like and it feels like one of the biggest events the company or industry has ever had.

Vince introduces Aretha Franklin for America the Beautiful.

The announcers, including celebrities Bob Uecker (baseball announcer) and Mary Hart (Entertainment Tonight anchor), talk for a bit. Uecker and Hart will only be around for a match here and there.

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Magnificent Muraco

The Connection is the latest pretty boy tag team comprised of Tom Zenk and Rick Martel. Rick shoulders Muraco down to start and monkey flips him for two. You can definitely see a different style in this stadium setting as opposed to an arena. Everything breaks down to start and the villains are quickly dispatched to the floor for a meeting with manager Mr. Fuji.

Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes

Hercules uses his chain to bust Haynes open and then slaps on the full nelson.

King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo vs. Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid

Heenan gives the crown jewels to Fabulous Moolah (the Queen) to present to Race after the match.

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Post match Race sits in his chair and Dog bows, only to beat Race up with the chair in a move that draws cheers.

The Dream Team is ready for the Rougeau Brothers. Manager Luscious Johnny V: “Parlez-vous scrambled eggs?”

Fabulous Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

Beefcake gets left behind as Johnny, Bravo and Valentine leave in the cart.

Piper says no retreat and no surrender.

Adonis promises to give Piper a haircut with some hedge clippers.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Hair vs. hair and Adonis has Jimmy Hart with him. Adonis is a lot more serious and less effeminate than he was last year. Piper walks down the aisle with the biggest smile on his face. His hair is a bit longer as well to give him his better known look. They slug it out to start but Piper pulls out a belt to whip Adrian.

Adonis takes it away and whips Piper as Monsoon suddenly thinks this is unfair. Piper drags Jimmy in and whips the two of them together for a big crash. The crowd is losing it for this stuff as Piper is just crazy over. Hart trips Piper to take over though and Adonis knocks Piper to the floor. Back in and Piper says bring it on until Hart sprays cologne in his eyes.

Jimmy Hart says the Bulldogs and Tito Santana can have the war they want.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Jesse takes Matilda to the back and Bret crawls over to Neidhart to get away from Smith. A double headbutt puts Neidhart down and a backdrop makes it even worse. Neidhart opts to just punch Smith in the face, only to have Bret miss a middle rope elbow. Dynamite takes over again as this has been one sided so far. Neidhart breaks up a pin attempt and the Harts finally take over as Uecker tries to figure out why Jimmy Hart is all over the show.

Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware

Power vs. speed here and Butch has Slick in his corner. Koko speeds things up to start and dropkicks Reed to the floor but Butch forearms him in the back to take over. Rights and lefts stagger Butch but he rolls through a cross body and pulls the tights to pin Koko at 3:38.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Ever the violent one, Savage elbows the damaged throat before dropping a knee to the chest for two. Some chops to the head get Steamboat out of trouble and Savage gets tied in the ropes. Things start getting fast as they run the ropes but Savage takes him down with a knee to the back. Savage makes the eternal mistake of trying to send Steamboat over the top and the Dragon skins the cat. Who came up with that term? It sounds horrible and really has nothing to do with pulling yourself back into a ring.

Steamboat and Steele leave with the title, followed by Savage who is nearly in tears. The visual of people riding the carts up the long aisle is very effective.

Honky Tonk Man promises to win and then sing. He promises that for years but almost never delivered on it.

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Roberts starts fast and rips the white and gold (popular colors tonight) Elvis suit off. Honky Tonk tries to run as Gorilla and Jesse preview Alice Cooper vs. Jimmy Hart. Back in and Jake keeps punching away before the short clothesline looks to set up the DDT. The threat of a DDT sends Honky Tonk bailing to the floor. Thank goodness he changed the oil in his hair today or he might not have been able to escape. Roberts is sent into the post to give Honky Tonk control and a middle rope fist (ala Cousin Jerry) keeps Jake in trouble.

Killer Bees vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik

Rating: D+. They might as well have had a countdown clock telling us how much more time they had to kill before Hogan vs. Andre. This was another watchable but unremarkable match in a series of them tonight. This was much more about Duggan than anything else, which is fine considering Duggan would wind up being a bigger name than anyone else in the match.

Hogan hopes the world can handle the explosion coming in the main event.

The celebrity announcements are shorter this year with Uecker as ring announcer and Mary Hart as timekeeper.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Some right hands have Andre stunned and you can see the sweat flying off his chest as Hogan chops away. Hogan rams him head first into the buckle over and over but charges into a boot to the face and Andre slaps on a bearhug. After a minute and a half in the hold, Hogan holds his arm up on the third drop and breaks it up with even more right hands (about 90% of his offense here). Andre is right back on offense though as he kicks Hogan to the floor, only to headbutt the post by mistake.

Ratings Comparison

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Don Muraco

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C+

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C

Hillbilly Jim/Haiti Kid/Little Beaver vs. King Kong Bundy/Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook

Original: F

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Original: C

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Koko B. Ware vs. Butch Reed

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: C

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Killer Bees vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: A

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: C+

Ok so I might have been a little enthusiastic about this show back in the day.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/03/07/wrestlemania-count-up-3-this-show-is-required-viewing-for-all-fans/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/12/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-iii-the-biggest-match-ever-on-the-biggest-show-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania III
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

Aretha Franklin sings America the Beautiful.

Gorilla and Jesse are with celebrities Bob Uecker and Mary Hart.

Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton

Bob gets hit from one corner to the other until Zenk takes him down with an armbar. All Connection so far. They trade full nelsons and Muraco hits Orton by mistake for two. Bob gets his arm cranked on a bit until FINALLY making the tag out to Muraco. The bad luck continues for the heels as Don is slammed down and has his arm worked on as well.

We recap Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes which is the battle of the full nelson.

Heenan and Hercules say about what you would expect them to say.

Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes

This is power vs. power so expect some pretty weak chemistry. Hebner tries to get in between them in the corner which is more than a referee should do. Haynes hits a press slam but Hercules bails to the corner to avoid the full nelson. Hercules comes back with a big old clothesline and both guys are down already. A backdrop puts Haynes down and Herc pounds on the back a bit. This is very slow paced compared to the opener.

Post match Hercules blasts Haynes with his chain a few times and busts him open.

The other team says the exact opposite.

Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid vs. King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo

Even the heel midgets turn on Bundy for what he did. Jim carries out Little Beaver ala Superman and Supergirl.

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Dog bows to Race but then blasts him with a chair and steals the robe.

Dream Team vs. Rougeau Brothers

Rating: C-. This was all angle rather than the match. The Rougeaus were a talented team and looked solid out there while the Dream Team looked like a relic of the past. Thankfully this would be the end for them as Bravo would replace Beefcake immediately, although the New Dream Team never went anywhere.

Valentine, Bravo and Johnny V (short for Valentine but shortened to avoid confusion) leave Beefcake behind.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Piper comes right back by sending Adrian into the corner for Flair Flip to the floor. Both Adonis and Hart get pulled back in and Piper rams them together to send them back outside. Back in again and Piper throws Hart off the top and onto Adonis but Jimmy FINALLY gets something right by tripping Roddy down.

Post match Adonis gets his hair cut and punches a mirror. Roddy gets his big sendoff.

Jesse is introduced to the crowd before the next match to annoy Gorilla.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware

Tito runs in and beats up Slick, ripping off his “expensive” suit. A double dropkick sends Reed to the floor.

Steamboat says this is their destiny and the Dragon is going to scorch Savage’s back. This promo still gives me chills.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Back in and Savage gets in his first shot before sending Ricky into the buckle. Steamboat immediately comes back by grabbing the wrist and lifting Savage into the air. Savage comes back with an elbow to the face before sending Steamboat over the top and out to the floor. Randy starts going after the throat but has to stop to try to get his left arm working again. Steamboat sends him into the buckle and chops away, sending Savage into the ropes.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Jake Roberts

Rating: C. You could see the Honky Tonk Man character coming on here as Jake was way better but got cheated at the end. Honky would ride that one idea for the next year and a half, drawing WAY more money and heat than he had any right to earn. Jake would feud with various heels for the next few months while being one of the many challengers to chase Honky. He finally got with Rick Rude for an awesome string of matches.

Post match Honky is chased off and Jimmy gets covered by Damien the snake.

Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik vs. Killer Bees

WWF World Title: Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan

Hulk fights back up with some forearms into the head. A running elbow staggers the Giant and Hogan sends him head first into the buckle ten times, only to charge into a boot to slow things right back down again. We hit the bearhug and Hogan is in trouble. This lasts for a LONG while until Hogan punches his way out of it, possibly hurting his hand in the process. Hulk rams into him a few times but charges into a chop to put Hogan down again. A boot to the ribs knocks Hulk to the floor but Andre headbutts the post. Hogan tries a piledriver of all things but is easily backdropped down.

Hogan poses for a long time as Heenan leaves with his head in his hands, wondering where it all went wrong.

Ratings Comparison

Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Hillbilly Jim/Haiti Kid/Little Beaver vs. King Kong Bundy/Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook

Original: F

Redo: D+

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Original: D+

Redo: D

Dream Team vs. Rougeau Brothers

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. Tito Santana/British Bulldogs

Original: C

Redo: C-

Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware

Original: N/A

Redo: D

Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: C

Redo: C

Killer Bees vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D

Redo: C-

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: A

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: A+

It still holds up.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/03/07/wrestlemania-count-up-3-this-show-is-required-viewing-for-all-fans/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania 3
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac (Detroit), Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
America The Beautiful: Aretha Franklin

Now we hit the big time. This is the first time when Wrestlemania was built up as the mega event and also it’s the first time we get a few Mania traditions. For one thing, it’s the first time we get the huge main event. While the tag match and Hogan/Bundy were big matches, to say they were nothing compared to Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant is the understatement of the century.

It was also the first time we had a Mania that featured a really big midcard match in the form of what might be the greatest wrestling match of all time. There was far more backstory to these matches this time which is always a good thing as it causes far less filler. It can easily be argued that this right here is the true birth of Wrestlemania as we know it.

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Don Muraco

That being said, let’s get to the first contest! Shockingly enough, it’s kind of a filler, but at the same time it really doesn’t feel like one. We have the short lived tag team known as the Can-Am Connection (Tom “Z-Man” Zenk and Rick Martel) against Bob Orton and Don Muraco, managed by Mr. Fuji. Now the CAC was an interesting team. They were kind of the Rockers before the Rockers.

Both were young, in shape, handsome, and fast paced workers. They were in line to be the face challengers to the Hart Foundation but Zenk left after a strange argument that we’re still unclear on and Martel was paired up with Tito Santana to form one of my all time favorite tag teams in Strike Force, who went on to beat the Harts for the belts.

But anyway onto the match. Yet again, about as basic a tag match as you can get with speed against power and that’s a combination that rarely fails. This is tag team wrestling 101 and it’s done about as well as you could ask for in a situation like this.

CAC plays the role of the young kids that aren’t that experienced against two veterans getting their first shot on the big stage to perfection. Orton gets his arm worked on and completely no sells it less than a minute later which just made me shake my head. This match boarders on a squash as the CAC are really never in trouble at all and win with a cross body on Muraco.

Rating: B-. The lack of selling by Orton and the absolute dominance by the CAC keep this from being a great match but for a warm up match for Wrestlemania that was designed to get the crowd into the show, this was done perfectly. I think I voted for this as best Mania opener ever, which I still think isn’t a stretch.

Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes

Next up we have Hercules against Billy Jack Haynes in a battle of the full nelsons. Simple story here: two powerhouses that both use the full nelson. A few weeks prior to this, Haynes had offered to let Hercules put the hold on him to see if he could break it. Hercules, a heel, attacked him and knocked him out with the hold, leading to this match at Mania.

The match starts off pretty fast with some hard hitting shots. Hercules takes over and all this seems to be about is getting the full nelson on the other. It’s really just a brawl which is fine as they keep it relatively short here. It’s always fun to see two big strong guys hammering on each other. Hercules has the pin and pulls him up which leads to the comeback.

Hercules gets the hold on first but it’s not on full which lets Haynes get up. Haynes eventually gets his nelson on but Hercules launches both of them to the floor where Haynes gets the hold again but we get a double count out. Haynes chases Heenan and Hercules blasts Haynes with the chain and Haynes is busted open really deep sending blood everywhere.

Rating: C-. Decent match between two brawlers that was given the right amount of time. It wasn’t supposed to be a classic and it wasn’t. This match was all about a single hold and that’s what ended the match. Went as well as it could have so it gets a decent grade.

King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo vs. Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid

There’s little story to this if any and why midget wrestlers are involved is beyond me. Bob Uecker is on commentary which is good as he’s fairly funny for someone that has no wrestling experience. The rules are simple here: big vs. big and small vs. small.

This match if nothing else proves that Bundy against Hogan was thrown together because there was nothing left. He goes from main eventing Wrestlemania to this? WOW. This is pretty short with the midgets doing most of the work. I get the idea here is that they’re supposed to be professionals and interesting but how can you argue that they’re anything but a novelty?

They go back and forth with Uecker giving some funny commentary. I’m not a fan of these kind of matches at all. They fill time here which isn’t saying much until Bundy is tagged in. Hillbilly gets beaten down by him and then Bundy slams and elbows one of the midgets causing a DQ. Hillbilly carries him to the back in what is a far cry from Superman carrying Supergirl but I’ll take what I can get I guess.

Rating: F. Seriously, what were they thinking here? This match managed to get a few minutes on the biggest show of all time. I guess you could call this the final remnant of the old days when midget matches were popular, but I’m still not getting the point of this. Nothing match and a total filler if there ever was one. And again, how did Bundy fall so far in a year?

Elizabeth Promo. This doesn’t happen as Macho comes in and says he’ll answer any questions the interviewer has. The interview never happens as Macho sends Liz away.

Junkyard Dog vs. Harley Race

Limited story here. Race was the King of the WWF at the time and on a SNME he had faced the JYD. JYD had said he wouldn’t bow to anyone and after Race had knocked him down he tried to force JYD’s head down to bow. The loser here has to bow to the winner. Race stalls like the true old school master that he is. Heenan gets involved and there goes Dog after him.

Naturally this fails him completely but since Dog has a very hard head most of Race’s shots have little to no effect. Race goes for a headbutt on the floor and Dog moves so Race rams his face into the floor. That can’t be nice at all. Gorilla and Jesse argue about managers which is always entertaining. You could tell there was a lot of respect between them.

Abdominal stretch goes on and Gorilla of course complains about it. Did he ever not complain about that hold? Race goes for a headbutt and nearly knocks himself unconscious in the process. Nice job there champ. On all fours now, which Gorilla says is Dog’s favorite position. Heenan gets up on the apron and allows Race to recover and catch a belly to belly to win it.

Rating: D+. Nothing special at all here as it was another four minute match. The right guy won though as Race was far better as far as wrestling talent went but it was surprising to see a guy like Dog, who was very popular, losing like this mostly clean. This was fine I guess.

Post match Dog bows but then pops Race with the chair and steals the crown and robe like a true jerk.

We hear from Hulk Hogan in one of the best cocaine induced promos ever. Seriously, if anyone believes that these Hogan promos aren’t drug induced then they’re far beyond what I can help. Hulk apparently thinks today is a big deal.

Rougeau Brothers vs. The Dream Team

Before we get a really weird promo from Johnny V and Dino Bravo on the Rougeaus. Johnny V is nuts but I like him. On with the match. The Dream Team is Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake if you were wondering. The key to this match is the Dream Team arguing for the entire match for no good reason.

Brutus tried to break up a sleeper but hit Valentine by mistake. Rougeaus hit their finisher but Bravo comes in, hits one of them and puts Valentine on Rougeau. The other three then leave Brutus in the ring, signaling the start of his face turn that lasted until 1994.

Rating: D+. Didn’t do much as it was more for the angle than the match obviously. Not a bad match at all, but nothing mind blowing. This was another way too quick match that I couldn’t get into due to simply being too short. Also the Dream Team is worthy of a major blowoff like this? Really? Pretty weak little match but technically pretty ok.

Adrian Adonis vs. Roddy Piper

Now we get to another of the famous matches here in Roddy Piper’s retirement match which has become a running joke in wrestling. The idea is that Piper went down with an injury and when he came back, Adonis had taken over Piper’s Pit and turned it into the Flower Shop.

They beat on each other for awhile until Piper thought he was an actor because of They Live so he decided to retire. Since then he’s wrestled on and off for over 20 years. A key to this match is both men use the sleeper hold as their finisher. The loser is going to get a haircut apparently.

Adrian is in his most famous gimmick here so Piper, being the MAN’S MAN that he is, hated him. There was a lot more homophobia in wrestling back then, at least in kayfabe. Well not really as any character like that is treated oddly. Those ring carts are still sweet stuff. Adonis says he’ll win. Piper busts out a belt and wipes out Adrian with it before taking a few shots of his own.

Hart gets involved a few times as this is little more than a comedy match for the most part. He finally gets something right though as he pulls Piper’s leg to give Adonis the advantage. Piper gets sent into the table and it’s all Adonis here. Back in the ring now with Piper saying bring it on.

Jimmy sprays perfume in Piper’s eyes and Adrian gets Good Night Irene, his sleeper finisher, and Piper goes down fast. He drops twice but Adrian lets go before the third drop, thinking he’s won. Brutus Beefcake runs down to wake Piper up (Adrian had accidentally cut Beefcake’s hair recently so it makes sense) and Piper gets his own sleeper to end this.

Rating: C+. It’s a standard Piper match which is always fun. This was just a comedy match but at the end of the day piper’s career was never about what he did in the ring so how can I really complain here? This was no classic or anything but it was fine and the fans cheered a lot because of it. PIper didn’t wrestle again for over two years so Piper lived up to his word for a good while at least.

Post match Beefcake cuts Adonis’ hair. A fan runs in as he leaves.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. Tito Santana/British Bulldogs

This match is pretty much all backstory. Danny Davis used to be a referee but he would cheat for the heels. He cheated Tito out of the IC Title and gave it to Macho Man and cheated the Bulldogs out of the tag titles and handed them to the Harts. He was banned “for life plus ten years”, which lasted about a year or so and he was back again as a referee. The idea here is that he’s completely inept at wrestling and all of his opponents want to kill him and Jimmy Hart, including the Bulldogs’ bulldog Matilda.

Davis will run in and kick someone maybe twice and then bail, more or less making this a 3 on 2 handicap. Hearing the commentators sing Bret’s praises is nothing but amazing as his singles push wasn’t coming for at least another year and a half and his real singles push was almost 3 years away. The kid really had talent and you can see it here.

Before the match Jesse went down to ringside to be introduced to the crowd so we have Gorilla, Bob Uecker and the host of Entertainment Tonight so the commentary is just bad right now. Uecker has some good one liners but the woman is just mindblowingly annoying. Davis misses a splash letting Tito get tagged in and he nearly kills Davis. The faces alternate with just beating the living tar out of him including a tombstone from Davey which was just odd to see for some reason.

The ending of the match was just awful though. Davis gets the sense beaten out of him taking all three of the faces’ finishers with the last being the powerslam. Bret breaks up the pin, and less than 10 seconds after getting powerslammed, Davis gets the megaphone tossed to him and drills Davey with it for the pin.

Rating: C-. The ending was just horrible to me as Davis, a referee, no sells a tombstone, the forearm and the powerslam? With guys like the Bulldogs, Santana and Hart in there, this should have been great. At best it was ok and the ending lost that for them.

Heenan and Andre do a promo here with Andre looking absolutely creepy by not moving an inch. Weirdest part of this interview: Heenan is at least 4 inches taller than Okerlund.

Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware

Remember how I said there was less filler on this show? This is some of that filler. There’s no reason at all here for this match other than to let Reed get a squash here and then the post match attack. The best part of the pre match stuff is a shot of Jesse and Gorilla in the broadcast booth which is at least a few hundred feet away from the ring with Jesse showing off his Wrestlemania 3 t-shirt.

As he shows it off he starts showing off his bicep and the way he talks about it is just funny. Anyway, on with this waste of time. If there has ever been a match of a weird combination this is it. Koko is the epitome of a jobber. What did he ever win in his whole career? Reed on the other hand is a great example of someone that had it all but never could put it together. He was even lined up to be a member of the Horsemen.

He had the look, the name, the power, everything you could want but he never could put it all together and I’ve never been sure why. Anyway, this is a pretty bland match as Reed reverses a bad cross body and uses the tights to win. After the match Slick beats up Koko with the cane until Tito runs out and beats up Slick for some reason and rips up his suit.

Rating: N/A. This match was a bad squash. It had no point and the match was just boring. Easily the worst match on the show.

Savage rants about how he’s going to end this tonight.

Steamboat says the Dragon is going to scorch Savage’s back.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

I think I now know why the previous match was in the place it was. There’s nothing I can really say about this match that hasn’t already been said. In case you don’t know the backstory, here it is. About 3 months before Savage had been defending the title against Steamboat and during the match had put Steamboat’s throat over the guard rail, went up top and landed a double axe handle, driving him throat first into the rail.

Steamboat had a crushed larynx and allegedly his career was over. Savage had a match on Superstars and Steamboat’s music hit and the crowd went insane. Epic staredown ensues and the match was made for Mania. Between then and Mania, George Steele kidnaps Liz to continue their year long feud so Steele was in Steamboat’s corner.

Savage can’t keep up with him to start and Steamboat dominates with armdrags and then a big old choke. Steamboat works the arm and Savage is in trouble early. Savage throws him to the floor though and now it’s Ricky in trouble. Very nice back and forth stuff to start. Savage goes for the throat which is the part of Steamboat that he hurt earlier so there’s your reasoning.

They keep going back and forth with Steamboat hammering away to get Savage caught in the ropes. They’re moving rather fast out there and Dragon keeps throwing out that armdrag. Ton of near falls in a row for both guys. Dragon Skins the Cat but gets knocked back to the floor. Savage hits a knee to the back of Steamboat to send him over the table and into the crowd.

Jesse yells at Gorilla for saying Steele helping Steamboat back in is cheating and calls Gorilla out of being hypocritical when another heel manager helped his guy back in early. Double axe to the back of the head of Steamboat on the floor and the count is on. Gorilla wants Savage disqualified for some weird clothesline thing. That was odd.

Savage gets a gutwrench suplex for two. Here comes Steamboat again though and he sends Savage over the top with a beautiful bump to the floor. He jumps OVER the referee to hit a big chop on Savage for two. They crank it up again for more near falls all over the place. Savage eats post on a slingshot and that only gets two. He manages to grab Steamboat and send him into the post shoulder first.

And there goes the referee. Savage gets the elbow but there’s no referee for the count. Randy goes out to get his trust bell but Steele shoves him off the top and his head cracks into the bell. Both guys are down though. Savage picks him up and in the famous ending, Steamboat rolls through into a small package for the pin and the title to blow the roof off the place.

Rating: A+. As I said before, likely the greatest match of all time. Nothing but an A+ the whole way with these two beating each other up and never slowing down a bit. Apparently all of these spots were planned out months in advance in Savage’s house in Florida which worked very well as there are zero bad spots here that I can think of. Excellent match and something everyone should see at least once if not more than once.

Jake Roberts vs. The Honky Tonk Man

This all started on Jake’s interview segment the Snake Pit where Honky hit him with a real guitar. See today, the guitars Jeff Jarrett uses are fake. They’re made to explode the way they do. The one Honky used was a real one and didn’t break.

Some of the material legitimately got stuck in Jake’s neck and allegedly that’s what got him addicted to alcohol and drugs to alleviate the pain. Believe that if you want to. Anyway, that more or less started Jake’s face turn and for God knows what reason, rocker Alice Cooper is in Jake’s corner. Also factor in that Jimmy Hart is deathly afraid of snakes.

There’s really not much here. It’s about 7 minutes long so it gets some time but Honky really hadn’t established the character that made him legendary yet, so this isn’t what you’d expect. It’s a very slow paced match that was I think designed to give the people a breather after the IC Title match. They go back and forth for awhile but Jake goes for the DDT and Jimmy grabs his foot. Honky rolls him up and grabs the rope for the pin. After the match, Jake and Alice torment Jimmy with the snake to end things.

Rating: C. It’s nothing special and is little more than a breather for the fans between the two mega matches. This was allegedly a double turn according to some people but that is just stupid as both guys already were in their more famous roles. This was a pretty ok match but dude, they’re following Savage vs. Steamboat. Like anyone cares about what happened here.

We get Gene Okerlund to announce the world attendance record of 93,173. No matter what you think of the show, that’s freaking amazing. This also gets you the beginning of the long running joke with Jesse and Gorilla of Jesse wondering whether or not he and Gorilla are counted in that.

Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff vs. Killer Bees

More or less the same review of the previous match but in tag team version. This is another filler to bridge the gap between the two big matches. As Volkoff is singing, Jim Duggan runs out with the 2×4 and stops the song. This is a really dull match with the Bees using fast moves against both big guys but eventually getting caught.

Duggan is on the floor playing cheerleader throughout the whole thing. Duggan starts chasing Volkoff for some reason while Sheik has one of the Bees in the camel clutch. They go into the ring and Duggan looks at Sheik and for no reason at all, blasts him over the back with the board. Even the commentators are at a loss for why he hit him. It just made absolutely no sense at all.

Rating: D. This match was boring and the ending made less sense than an Iron Sheik promo. Again this was just filler and a way to get the crowd all fired up for that whole biggest match of all time thing coming after it. There was very little thought in this one as the buildup was weak on Superstars. All that being said though as I said in the previous rating, dude they’re right before Hogan vs. Andre.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

This match has been called the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling and that very well may be true. It was the first true super main event in Wrestlemania history. Here’s the story: Hogan and Andre used to be friends and even tag partners. They celebrated together when Hogan won the belt over 3 years ago. Hogan ran in to save Andre a few times from being beaten up by Bundy and Studd.

Fast forward a year and Hogan is being given a trophy for being World Champion for three years. Andre is given a slightly smaller trophy for not losing a match in 15 years. He looks at the trophies and just walks away. A few weeks later, they have a face to face interview on Piper’s Pit. Andre tilts Hogan’s head up at him and says “Look at me when I’m talking to you. I’m here for one reason: to challenge you for a world championship match at Wrestlemania.”

Hogan is stunned and says he can’t do it. Andre grabs Hogan’s shirt and the cross he wears and rips them off, stunning Hogan. Piper asks him if he’ll fight him and Hogan screams YES!!! You really have to understand how big this was at the time. Andre was like Taker as far as mystique goes, but 10x moreso. This would be like Hulk Hogan coming back today and challenging John Cena to a match.

Hogan cuts one of the most famous promos of his career before the match, saying that the world is going to fall at his feet after the match. Hogan always had that little hint at implying he was God in his promos but never flat out said it.

Andre comes out and the booing is mindblowing. In something that I find funny, he waves to the fans on the way down to ringside. Jesse gives the tale of the tape, which is all of Andre and Hogan’s measurements, showing that as big as Hogan is, Andre is so much bigger. Bob Uecker is the guest announcer and after introducing Andre, says three simple words: and, his opponent. After that, the fans just lose it. Hogan’s music hits and nothing else matters at all.

Gorilla puts it best by saying “The roof of the Silverdome is about to explode here!” In a great camera shot, you get a wide angle shot of the arena with the spotlight on Hogan which really shows how this whole show has been building to this one moment. Hogan gets in the ring and it’s on. I won’t go into detail here either as I’m sure you’ve all seen this at one time or another. Every word of commentary is famous here as I can almost quote the whole match to you.

Within 15 seconds, Hogan goes for a slam and we nearly get a pin. That is a point that is used for over a year as Hogan might not have gotten his shoulder up in time. The way the camera is set up you really can’t tell if he did or not. That would be a point of contention from Heenan for nearly a year, leading up to their rematch in February of 1988.

The in ring work here is really pretty bad, but no one cared. This match was all about the meaning of what was going on and the truly epic nature of the match. No one really knew who was going to win here and it was a legitimate possibility that Hogan would lose. Andre more or less beats the living crap out of Hogan the whole match until the very end. Hogan gets some shots in here and there that do some damage and Andre is clearly worn out at the end of it.

The crowd is almost stunned that Hogan is being dominated. They brawl on the floor for a bit and then head back into the ring. Andre misses a boot and Hogan clotheslines him, knocking him down. The fans go insane at the sight of this. Hulk Hulks Up and he has the crowd in the palm of his hand at this point. In what might be the most most scene in the history of wrestling, Hogan slams Andre to enter immortality.

Even the commentators are in awe at this point as Hogan drops the leg and wins the match. Andre was so big at the time that Hogan ripped his ab muscles to pieces slamming him and was out for a few months. The music plays and Heenan and Andre get into the cart that takes them to the back as Heenan has his head in his hands, wondering what just happened. Hogan poses as we close the show with the fans absolutely going nuts.

Rating: A. The match itself is pretty bad but the historical significance is second to absolutely nothing. Now I’ve seen a lot of people (including his majesty Mr. Meltzer) say this was a horrible match and all that jazz. In short: SCREW YOU ALL. Get the sticks out of yourselves and have some fun for once. If you don’t get chills watching the staredown and the slam, then go watch something else.

You have Hogan and Andre who can barely move at all. What are they supposed to do out there? The entire idea here was to have a major showdown and that’s exactly what they did. THis match was epic, still is epic and will always be epic. Anyone that says this wasn’t a great match that did exactly what it was supposed to do is a fool, and i don’t care who I have to argue this with.

Overall Rating: B+. I went back and forth between B+ and A- here. This is the first truly historic Wrestlemania and the first to truly be the spectacle that is has become today. Easily the two biggest matches are the singles title matches that are still incredibly famous today. There’s far less filler than before and the matches have much more solid stories to them.

This show is more famous for its historical aspect than the in ring stuff and that’s just fine. It’s not the best Mania of all time, but it’s up there. Definite recommendation to see this if you never have, or if you just haven’t watched it in awhile, if nothing else just for the history lesson

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania II
Date: April 7, 1986
Locations: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, New York City, New York/Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois/Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,585 (New York), 9,000 (Chicago), 14,500 (Los Angeles), 40,085 (Total)
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Susan St. James (New York), Gene Okerlund, Gorilla Monsoon, Cathy Lee Crosby (Chicago), Lord Alfred Hayes, Jesse Ventura, Elvira (Los Angeles)

Vince McMahon is in New York to welcome us to the show and introduce Ray Charles to sing America the Beautiful. As would become the custom, various images of American landscapes, military and run of the mill citizens are superimposed over the performance. Charles does an amazing rendition of the song and the fans give him the ovation he deserves.

Gene Okerlund is in Chicago to talk about the battle royal. By talk about I mean he mentions it and then throws it to the next interview.

The Magnificent Muraco vs. Paul Orndorff

Paul cranks on the arm and my goodness Muraco is sweating quite a bit. We hit a wristlock, which St. James calls an ancient Chinese technique. At least she sounds happy to be here so I can excuse some of here bad lines. Muraco gets in a right hand and they brawl to the floor for a double countout at 4:10. The fans loudly swear at the result.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. George Steele

Rating: D-. What the heck was that? I know Steele had been feuding with Savage for a long time but this was the best they could do for a major match? Total disaster here with the comedy not working and Savage just coming back and grabbing a win at the end. Savage winning was the right idea, but you could have cut a lot of the goofiness out of this to make for a better, or at least less bad match.

George eats another turnbuckle and chases the referee off.

Big John Studd and NFL player Bill Fralic talk trash before the WWF vs. NFL battle royal in Chicago. The announcement of Savage retaining in New York drowns out the yelling.

McMahon and St. James talk about the next match.

George Wells vs. Jake Roberts

Jake wraps the snake around Wells post match, making Wells foam at the mouth.

Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper

Round two begins with Mr. T. claiming that Piper has a bunch of grease on his face. Mr. T. gets him into the corner and hammers away as these are clearly fake punches since both guys would be dead otherwise. Piper gets in some heavy rights in the corner and actually knocks him down to a big cheer from the crowd. Even more bombs have Mr. T. in trouble as the round ends.

Off to Chicago. The ring looks much smaller here.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Corporal Kirchner

Battle Royal

WWF: Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, Iron Sheik, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, John Studd, Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, Bruno Sammartino, Andre the Giant

NFL: Jimbo Covert, Harvey Martin, Ernie Holmes, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, William Perry

Rating: D+. Not much to see here and they made no secret of the fact that Andre was the obvious winner. The football players were really just a novelty so you could have a battle royal without looking like it was an easy way to get people on the card. They kept this short and to the point which helps things out quite a bit. Perry got the crowd going and Andre winning was the right call so no one is hurt here.

Back in New York, Piper says Mr. T. and William Perry are both cheaters. Piper denies cheating by shoving the referee.

Covert says he got cheated when someone jumped him from behind.

Iron Sheik says he proved wrestling is tougher than football.

We recap the end of the battle royal.

Tag Team Titles: British Bulldogs vs. Dream Team

Rating: B. Match of the night by far here with Dynamite taking one heck of a bump to end the match. The Bulldogs were a great team and they definitely deserved the titles and they did it in a tag match that went completely against the common tag team formula. Unfortunately it felt like it was much more about a way to get Osbourne on screen, which is only going to get worse.

Vince and Susan talk about the title change and preview the main event.

The Los Angeles announcers (Jesse Ventura, Elvira, Lord Alfred Hayes) preview their section of the card.

Hercules Hernandez vs. Ricky Steamboat

Uncle Elmer vs. Adrian Adonis

Hogan is ready to step inside a cage with King Kong Bundy after Bundy damaged his ribs a few months ago. All Hogan wants is for Bobby Heenan to try to get involved.

Funk Brothers vs. Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana

The announcers have an awkward chat as the cage is assembled.

In New York, Susan St. James picks Hogan.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Hogan beats up Heenan and poses to end the show as Vince wraps it up from New York.

Ratings Comparison

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D-

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Original: F

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Roddy Piper vs. Mr. T.

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Velvet McIntyre vs. Fabulous Moolah

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Corporal Kirschner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D-

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Battle Royal

Original: B

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

British Bulldog vs. Dream Team

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Rick Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Uncle Elmer vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog vs. Terry Funk/Hoss Funk

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Original: B-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Wrestlemania II is….weird. Like, really weird.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/09/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-2-what-the-hell-were-they-thinking/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/11/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-ii-three-times-the-suck/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania II
Date: April 7, 1986
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, New York City, New York/Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois/Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,585 (New York), 9,000 (Chicago), 14,500 (Los Angeles), 40,085 (Total)
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Susan St. James, Gene Okerlund, Gorilla Monsoon, Cathy Lee Crosby, Alfred Hayes, Jesse Ventura, Elvira

This is on a Monday for some reason.

This was a tape I watched to death back when I was a kid so the theme music for this brings a smile to my face.

Vince opens things up in New York and introduces Susan St. James, a popular actress of the day, to be his co-commentator.

Ray Charles sings America the Beautiful.

Gene is in Chicago and welcomes us to the city for later on.

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

Intercontinental Title: George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Steele does a freaky kind of dance and Savage immediately bails to the floor. That works so well that they do it again and make it three times until FINALLY George chases after him. Steele catches Savage going back in and bites his calf before they head back in. Randy hits a running knee to the chest but Steele easily lifts him into the air and chokes him down. George gets caught looking at Liz though and is tied up in the ropes so Savage pounds away.

Savage and Liz immediately bail so Steele eats another buckle.

Bill Fralic (a football player) and Big John Studd are both in a battle royal later today and they talk some trash, once again being drowned out by Fink.

Vince asks Susan if she likes snakes. Make your own jokes.

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Jake wraps George up in the snake post match and makes Wells foam at the mouth.

Hogan predicts T to win and says his ribs will be fine in the cage tonight.

Roddy Piper vs. Mr. T.

Off to Chicago!

Gene and Gorilla bring in Kathy Lee Crosby to do commentary.

Corporal Kirchner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Gene takes over the ring announcing for the NFL/WWF battle royal. There are six football players and fourteen wrestlers. Dick Butkus is a guest referee.

Battle Royal

NFL: Jimbo Covert, Harvey Martin, Ernie Holmes, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, William Perry

WWF: Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, Iron Sheik, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Big John Studd, Bruno Sammartino, Jim Neidhart, Bret Hart

We look at the end of the battle royal again.

Tag Titles: Dream Team vs. British Bulldogs

Greg gets in a few shots in the corner including a forearm to the back to take over and finally bring in Brutus. He cranks on the arm and is immediately gorilla pressed down by Smith. Dynamite comes in again and gets two off a small package. Beefcake makes a blind tag though and Valentine comes in off the top via another forearm to the back and the champions take over. Kid comes right back and pounds away before bringing Smith back in.

The Bulldogs hit a double headbutt for two for Kid but Brutus comes in sans tag to switch momentum right back. Valentine gets two off a kneeling piledriver but falls victim to the Arn Anderson self-crotching mistake. He continues the Horsemen theme by going up top and getting slammed down ala Flair as everything breaks down. Dynamite gets sent to the floor so Smith comes in with the powerslam (not yet the finisher) for two on Valentine.

Off to Los Angeles.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

Funk Brothers vs. Junkyard Dog vs. Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana

Hoss gets back in for a crisscross with Terry hitting Tito in the back with a knee to take over. Tito gets knocked to the floor and JYD has to chase Jimmy off a few times before throwing Santana back in. Terry gets two off a suplex and argues with the referee a bit before getting suplexed himself. They hit the ropes and collide but Terry falls into his own corner to bring in Hoss. The Funks hit a double clothesline which gets two for Terry who is getting frustrated.

We set up the cage, which is the big blue kind for the first time ever.

Elvira sends it to New York for comments from Susan and Vince.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Escape only here, as it should be. Tommy Lasorda of the LA Dodgers is guest ring announcer. Ricky Schroder, a child actor, is guest timekeeper and Robert Conrad, an adult actor, is guest referee. Hogan starts firing off right hands to start and knocks Bundy into the cage before choking Bundy with his own singlet. The following clothesline in the corner has Bundy in even more trouble and a forearm to the head staggers him even more. All Hogan so far.

Hogan beats up Heenan to close the show.

Ratings Comparison

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

Original: D+

Redo: D

Randy Savage vs. George Steele

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Original: F

Redo: D+

Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper

Original: F

Redo: D

Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Corporal Kirschner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D-

Redo: N/A

Battle Royal

Original: B

Redo: D

British Bulldog vs. Dream Team

Original: B-

Redo: B

Rick Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

Original: N/A

Redo: D-

Terry Funk/Hoss Funk vs. Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Original: B-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: D

Dang those must have been the strong rose colored glasses back then.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/09/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-2-what-the-hell-were-they-thinking/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania 2
Date: April 7, 1986
Location: Nassau Coliseum-New York, Rosemont Horizon-Chicago, Illinois, Sports Arena-Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 40,085 combined for all three venues
Commentators: New York – Vince McMahon, Susan St. James. Chicago – Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund, Cathy Lee Crosby, Ernie Ladd. Los Angeles – Jesse Ventura, Alfred Hayes, Elvira
America The Beautiful: Ray Charles

This show is the classic what the heck were thinking moment from the WWF. They had made Wrestlemania the year before and they hit it so far out of the park that by the time it was Wrestlemania 2 the ball hadn’t come down yet. This was a problem though. Since the inaugural show had been such a success, Vince felt they had to do something to top it. This was his idea: what if we did Wrestlemania from 3 different places??? Think about that for a minute. How weird would that be?

Not to mention, Vince had another idea: let’s put it on a Monday! Again, just awkward sounding. The format used was three locations, each with an undercard and then a featured match, which were a boxing match, a battle royal, and the true main event, Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy in a steel cage.

The idea was odd on paper and worse in reality as it felt like watching three shows instead of one. There’s no rhythm and because it was in three locations, announcers were a rare commodity. Due to this, Vince’s last idea was to put a real commentator together with celebrities to do the commentary. What followed might be the biggest mess in company history.

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

We begin the show in New York City with Paul Orndorff against Don Muraco. Why are they fighting? I don’t have a freaking clue but they are so here we go. As they begin we hear comments from both and neither have anything to say of meaning.

Orndorff is easily the face here so if he never accomplished anything else in his career, the face turn between Manias one and two was effective. As was predicted, the celebrity commentator is atrocious, with such gems like “I think he’s winning!” Orndorff controls the early part of the match but Muraco breaks it up with some power. They roll outside and we get a double count out as the crowd clearly can be heard chanting bull.

Rating: D+. Fine for what it was, but the fans got it right with their chants. This is the opening match to Wrestlemania? Seriously? That’s the best they could come up with? This feud more or less never went anywhere at all as Orndorff was about to get the biggest push of his career by far, resulting in him making about $20,000 a week for awhile. This was just an odd choice for an opening match but then again this was an odd choice for a show so I guess it fits.

Intercontinental Title: George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Next up the intercontinental title is on the line as Randy Savage defends against George Steele. This is a match that I can’t find a standalone version of so I can’t put this one in here. However, this was another chapter in the over year long feud between these two. Savage had been allegedly mistreating Liz and Steele had developed a crush on her. That led to, what else, Savage being jealous and a 15 month feud began.

Mega stall from Savage to start as he seems afraid of Steele. Savage runs again and finally on the third time Steele goes after him. They finally lock up and Steele beats Savage up for a while with power moves and biting but Steele keeps going to talk to Liz. This was a weird period for Savage as they knew they had a gem with him but they didn’t know what to do with him. Yeah he was the IC champion, but where did they go with him from there?

This was all they had until the next year when he and Steamboat stole the show and Savage was launched into the main event. For some reason Savage has a bouquet of flowers that he and Steele try to beat each other up with. After ripping apart a turnbuckle and eating the stuffing (not making that up) Steele gets slammed and elbowed, but he kicks out?

Yes, George Steele is the first man to kick out of the elbow, and he pops up, beats on Savage some more and then gets rolled up and Savage uses the ropes to pin him. Steele eats more stuffing.

Rating: C-. This was a comedy match I think with wrestling mixed in. Savage is the highlight here as he sells like crazy for Steele and it helps a lot. These two had this freaky chemistry that no one has ever been able to really figure out. They would feud on and off for the next year before FINALLY ending it with the return of Ricky Steamboat for that whole greatest match of all time thing he and Savage would have next year.

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

We follow up that strange match with another somewhat strange match as Jake Roberts, still a rookie here, takes on some guy named George Wells. This match is little more than a glorified squash. Wells dominates early but doesn’t go for a pin when he has the chance. Jake recovers and DDTs him to win the match. Afterwards he unleashes Damien who causes Wells to look like he’s foaming at the mouth.

Rating: D+. Talk about a weird choice to have on Wrestlemania. Jake was brand new at this point so they needed someone to make him look good and they pick….George Wells? There was a squash on Mania for the first two years and both times they were the least interesting match on the card. I don’t get the selection here for the most part and it’s pretty bad all things considered.

Boxing Match: Mr. T vs. Roddy Piper

We now move onto the main event of the New York portion of the show: a boxing match with Roddy Piper and Mr. T. This was built up on SNME about 2 months before hand with Mr. T. beating Piper’s friend Bob Orton in a boxing match before being beaten down by both of them. That came on from what started over a year ago in the main event of the first Wrestlemania, so this truly was a showdown that had been built up for ages.

Factor in that T had been the World Boxing Champion in Rocky 3 just a few years ago and was on a top rated TV show where he was a tough guy. Both men have famous trainers in their corners to make it look more legit. For no apparent reason Joan Rivers does the ring announcing. This is ten three minute rounds. She introduces Orton as the Ace Comedy Bob Orvin. Nice job of handling the reading thing honey.

They actually got Smoking Joe Frazier to be in T’s corner. One of the biggest stars in Hollywood has in his corner a former world heavyweight champion who had three of the best boxing matches in history with Muhammad Ali. He also has a midget. Well of course he does. They treat this like a real boxing match. Oh dear.

T goes for the ribs which doesn’t work all that well for him. Piper hits him on the break which is illegal of course. There has been no mention of judges or anything like that so I guess this is destined to not go the distance. The referee has broken them up about four times now. I think these are three minute rounds. For the most part these punches aren’t landing at all but they sell them anyway of course.

It’s not so much boxing but rather glorified grappling with the occasional punch thrown. The fans are more or less dead if you didn’t guess that. After the first round nothing has really happened. Piper has a bunch of grease on his face for the second round which is keeping the punches from T from being effective.

This is painfully boring if I didn’t make that clear so far. Piper knocks the heck out of T with some big roundhouses and finally drops him to huge cheers because something HAPPENED for a change. The knockdown gets a count of 8. Piper keeps pounding on him as round two ends. They brawl a bit during the break and Orton throws water at T.

Piper does the Ali Shuffle to start the third round. T gets him into the corner and pounds away with more or less open hand shots to the head and Piper is in trouble. That gets a count of 7. T gets a huge punch that I think hit so of course Piper is knocked to the floor. He gets up at 9 and then holds onto T for the last 25 seconds of the fight.

They just trade big bombs to start the fourth round. And then he punches the referee and slams T for the DQ about a minute into the fourth round. It’s a bit brawl and T of course gets the win. Was there a reason for both that ending and also having Piper dominate a round like that? This was awful.

Rating: F. On WRESTLEmania they had a long boxing match. This was just boring beyond belief and the boxing looked awful. They tried to make this seem legit and it failed on more than all levels. T was never seen again and Piper turned face relatively soon after taking time off for knee surgery. Boring match and awful beyond belief.

Chicago

Women’s Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

We start with the Women’s Title on the line as Moolah defends against Velvet McIntyre. This match is just weird. Moolah dominates, Velvet comes back and then misses a splash allowing Moolah to pin her. It screams botched finish to me as even the announcers seem surprised.

Rating: N/A. Just was nothing at all and might have gone a minute. Little to rate here so I won’t even try to.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Corporal Kirschner

Now we have a flag match with Nikolai Volkoff against the forgotten Corporal Kirschner. Yeah I don’t remember him either. The winner gets to have their flag waved. Other than that it’s a standard one on one match. As usual, Nikolai sings the Russian National Anthem before the match starts. Nikolai dominates early on, ramming Kirschner into the post twice and busting him open. I kid you not, Kirschner lands 7 right hands, catches Freddy Blassie’s cane and hits Nikolai with it to win the match.

Rating: D-. This was supposed to be a brawl but it was a bad match. 7 punches and a cane shot? Give me a break. Kirschner is apparently one of the most legit tough guys in the history of the business and got thrown out of most major companies for being too rough. Based on this and his match at the Wrestling Classic I’d assume it’s due to a high level of suck but that’s just me. This was just barely long enough to warrant a rating and it wasn’t any good at all.

Battle Royal

Now we get the most famous match from this show: a 20 man battle royal with ten pro football players and 10 wrestlers. This is going to go GREAT. Since most of you won’t know half the people in this I’m not going to list them all until the end. The big names are a still rookie Bret Hart, Andre the Giant, Big John Studd and Bruno Sammartino. For the most part this is a run of the mill battle royal.

It’s little more than a bunch of punching and kicking against the ropes as we get down to the big names. Oddly enough the celebrity commentator is the only one that gets anything right. Gorilla says stuff like Studd has this guy in the corner when they’re almost in the middle of the ring, or Ernie Ladd who was a wrestler saying no one wants Andre when he’s beating someone up. Amazing.

The only really famous thing in this match is a football player named William the Refrigerator Perry getting eliminated by Studd but then offering a handshake and eliminating him. The Iron Sheik eliminates Hillbilly Jim just as he would in the gimmick battle royal 15 years later at WM 17. The final four are the Hart Foundation, a football player and Andre. Do I need to really give the details on this? Andre beats up the Harts to win the match after launching Bret out in a press slam.

Rating: B. It’s a bunch of football players and 80s wrestlers with a few great workers. Nothing special, but considering what they had to work with this is just fine. The football stuff didn’t lead anywhere which is kind of surprising as they set up a Fridge vs. Studd thing that never happened at all that I know of. This was just ok and at least the right guy won it. Andre would of course be in the biggest match of all time the next year.

Tag Titles: British Bulldogs vs. The Dream Team

Now we have what is likely the best match of the whole show. It’s a classic 80s tag match with the British Bulldogs, and Ozzy Osbourne in their corner for God alone knows why to face the tag team champions of the Dream Team Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine. You can tell they’re serious here as this has a sixty minute time limit.

The ring looks small here for some reason. Gorilla asks why Ozzy is there too which means he’s confused like I am. There are two referees here which I doubt will mean anything for the most part. Smith vs. Valentine to get up. The ring is all loud here still.

The Bulldogs were so fast with those tags and this is no exception at all. Valentine won’t tag out for no apparent reason. He counters a backdrop though and here’s Beefcake. Small package by Dynamite get two. Fisherman’s suplex by Davey gets two. I guess he’s not perfect. After Davey gets beaten on for a bit Dynamite comes in and slugs it out with Valentine.

The champions cheat a bit and they still can’t take over. I never got the appeal of the Dream Team but to be fair it might be that Brutus was just awful at this point. Valentine gets a Piledriver on Dynamite but falls forward so it kind of looks like a tombstone but with Dynamite’s stomach facing out. That was kind of cool looking.

Bulldogs clear the ring as things speed up a bit. Davey gets the powerslam for two as it wasn’t a finisher but just a signature move at the time. The champions work over Davey as momentum changes hands a lot here tonight. They work over the arm, including with a shoulderbreaker from Valentine.

However he shows his idiocy by pulling Davey up at two. Nice job you lunkhead. And there’s the idiocy coming through as for no apparent reason Dynamite gets on the middle rope and Davey rams Valentine’s head into Kid’s for the knockout shot and falls on Valentine for the pin and the titles. That ending came from NOWHERE and Dynamite is out cold from the shot which is kind of amusing for some reason. That’s Albano’s 16^th title win as a manager. Hokey smoke.

Rating: B-. Fun stuff but the ending was just so freaking random. I don’t get the ending as it was like they looked at the clock and realized they had no time left and were like oh crap we need to finish this. The Bulldogs were a good team and were a huge step up from the Dream Team. They would lose them to the Harts in about 8-9 months so the tag division was starting to roll at this point.

Los Angeles

Ricky Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

We move to the final and by far the worst of the three locations as we’re now in LA, beginning with Ricky Steamboat against Hercules Hernandez. This was supposed to be Bret vs. Ricky in the big showdown match for Mania. I’m not sure what the showdown would be for since for all intents and purposes they had no feud that I know of but a little face on face action never hurt anyone, even though Bret wasn’t a face at the time so scratch that line.

They start off kind of fast but not fast enough for anything to mean much. This was a different era so matches like these were really commonplace. There’s no feud or anything here and Hercules is just a big power guy that had been given a fairly decent push so he’s getting to fight one of the best guys in the company at one of the biggest shows of the year.

There is almost nothing to say here though as I’ve been watching for a few minutes and nothing has happened at all. Well at least nothing worth talking about that is. Hercules goes for the backbreaker as this is before the Full Nelson made him the original Chris Masters. Relatively standard Steamboat match which means it’s at least passable. Herc is the big powerhouse that beats the tar out of Ricky, makes one mistake and the Dragon makes his comeback. The flying body press ends things as always.

Rating: C-. And that’s almost all for Steamboat. I liked Hercules for some reason but for the life of me I don’t get the point in having him be considered a better prospect than Bret was. This was the epitome of a throwaway match with nothing special at all going on in it and nothing of note to talk about really. I sat there for minutes at a time with nothing of note so I apologize for the most history based match here.

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

Now for the odd match of the night, we have Adrian Adonis, playing a controversial gay gimmick at the time, against Uncle Elmer, a fat hillbilly character. The crowd chants a certain homosexual slur at Adonis to start the match which he prances around the ring to.

This match is slow and mostly painful as the smaller man in the match weighs about 350lbs. When he’s your agile guy, you know this isn’t going anywhere. Elmer punches him and literally falls off his feet from it. Quite sad actually. Adonis has his dress, yes dress ripped off and it’s just hideous. Elmer beats on him some more but misses a leg drop. Adonis hits a top rope headbutt and gets the pin.

Rating: N/A. I never got the appeal of either of these characters and thankfully Elmer wasn’t around much longer. Naturally he got a tape mainly about him and his family because that’s the way the 80s went.

Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana vs. The Funks

In the next to last match of the night, we have the Funks against JYD and Tito Santana. This is another filler match that had no point at all other than two faces against a heel team. This is a much slower paced match as they do more old school stuff in there. Terry vs. Tito starts us off so we’re certainly getting things started off on the right foot here.

You have three guys that belong in the Hall of Fame and JYD who is in there because he was popular in the 80s making him a LEGEND. I still don’t like him but he’s more bearable than some people I can’t stand. This is definitely a different style than most are used to. I’d like a bit more explanation as to why they’re fighting but I think It’s 1986 is about as close as we’re going to get. Tito dominates for the most part here, hammering away on both Funks. He was completely awesome at this point if you didn’t get that.

Off to the Dog now and we get some boxing. A Texas man lost a fight to a dog. Don’t bother going back to Amarillo I guess Terry. Someone please explain the appeal to me of the Dog as I just don’t get it at all and never have. Dory plays Ricky Morton which just sounds wrong and gets beaten on in the corner for a bit. The forearm gets two as I guess Tito didn’t have it perfected yet.

Control shifts over to the crazy men and they beat down Tito for awhile as he’s really playing Ricky Morton. That still sounds wrong. After a few minutes of basic offense from the Funks JYD comes back in and everything goes nuts. Terry is thrown to the floor where there are no mats. He might have legitimately hurt his knee or ankle there and I’m not surprised at all. With the referee not looking, Terry clocks the Dog with the Megaphone (Jimmy was managing them which I forgot to mention) and the heels steal one.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun match here with the Funks being all evil and the thrown together face team doing whatever they could to get the win. Granted that didn’t happen but at least they tried. This was a better match than I remember it being and while it’s still mainly formula stuff it worked rather well. I liked it and granted three of the guys being all time greats helps a bit.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

This is a cage match and the only one in Mania history if you don’t count the Cell match at Mania 15 which most people don’t. The story behind this is Bundy jumped Hogan at a SNME and hurt his ribs, which hadn’t healed yet. Hogan wrestled against doctor’s orders with tape all over his ribs. Simple but effective but kind of too simple as this was more or less thrown together about a month ago.

This is a very not surprising match with Bundy going for the ribs and Hogan having to fight through the pain. It’s solid because it’s Hogan doing what he does best but the total and complete lack of drama or anyone really caring for the most part is hurting it. Also having Jesse as lead announcer is a very odd choice.

Bundy rips the tape off of Hogan’s ribs like a good heel and Hogan messes up as always by trying to pick Bundy up and of course he can’t do it. There’s nothing special going on here at all but it’s working for the most part. Ah there’s the Hulk Up. Very surprisingly we get a power slam here and not the traditional slam. Maybe his ribs really were hurt. He ties up Bundy and goes over the top to retain and end the show.

Rating: B-. It’s Hogan against a monster heel not named Andre. What are you expecting here? This was his bread and butter and the fans popped for the end (only) so I guess you can call this a success. I’m a sucker for Hogan matches in the 80s so I’d say there’s probably some bias in the rating but who cares? Fairly solid match but nothing unique about it at all other than the cage aspect.

Overall rating: C+. While certainly better in the ring than the first Mania and including some storylines this time, the three venues thing is just a mess. There’s really only two or three very good matches here and I’d call maybe the tag title match Mania worthy. Other than that there’s a lot of filler and it’s more or less 1-2 big matches per location with the rest being all filler.

This show suffers from trying to do something that had never been done before, and while they did indeed do that the overlooked one major point: the new thing they did wasn’t a good idea. It’s really not that good of a show overall. Watch the highlights if you want to, but don’t waste three hours watching it from start to end.

 

 

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WCCW TV
Date: January 5, 1985
Location: Reunion Arena, Dallas, Texas
Commentator: Bill Mercer

I might as well knock out a few more of these fort he sake of mixing things up a bit. This is a special edition as we have the Star Wars special, featuring Ric Flair doing his Ric Flair 80s stuff. I’m not sure what to expect from this one but WCCW is hit or miss every single time. Let’s get to it.

Mercer runs down the card, including Kerry Von Erich getting his shot at Flair for the NWA World Title.

Terry Gordy/Buddy Roberts/Chic Donovan vs. Missing Link/Skandar Akbar/Mr. X

This is a Texas Tornado Loser Leaves Town elimination match (pinfall, submission or over the top for a twist) because they’re starting fast this week. No word on why Michael Hayes isn’t in on this but I’d bet on some weird stipulation earlier. It’s a brawl to start (as it should be) with Link being sent through the ropes, much to Mercer’s confusion. Link comes back in with a middle rope headbutt to Donovan as this is completely nuts so far.

Roberts works on Akbar’s knee in the middle and on the apron and Gordy slams Link. In the mess, Link headbutts Donovan down to give Akbar the elimination. A double clothesline gets rid of Mr. X but Roberts is thrown over the top, leaving Gordy alone against Akbar/Link. Gordy slugs away at both of them until the numbers game catches up with him in the corner. Link gets knocked into the ropes so Gordy whips out his spike for Akbar. That’s broken up as well but Link headbutts Akbar out by mistake, allowing Gordy to toss him for the win at 9:58.

Rating: C+. I liked this one a lot more than I would have bet on as they didn’t waste time, got in and out of there with Gordy (I’m trying to get my head around the Freebirds as faces in Dallas) wrecking the villains like the monster he was. Not a good match, but it was the kind of entertaining chaos that it needed to be. I’d still like to know why Hayes wasn’t in there though, as he would have thrived in this.

Kerry Von Erich is ready to fight his heart out for another taste of the World Title. If he loses, it’s all on him.

NWA World Title: Kerry Von Erich vs. Ric Flair

Flair is defending and his headlock takeover is countered into a headscissors for an early standoff. The fight over a top wristlock goes to Kerry but Flair drives him into the corner without much trouble. Kerry hammerlocks him down and then does it again for a bonus. The push off hits the referee in the head but he’s back up to see Flair not being able to suplex Kerry. The headlock has Flair in trouble again and a flying headscissors takes him back to the mat. Flair reverses into a leglock but gets headscissored all over again.

A roll over to the ropes gets him out of trouble this time and Flair hammers away in the corner, this time being yelled at for attacking in the ropes. See what a good referee can do for a match? Flair drops the knee for two and he sends Kerry outside. Back in and Kerry, who seems to be bleeding from the chest, fights out of the corner with right hands. A sleeper has Flair in trouble for all of five seconds before Kerry grabs the backslide (how he won the title in the first place) for two.

A suplex gives Kerry the pin but Flair’s foot is under the rope. Flair hits a shoulder and throws his feet on the ropes but this time the referee catches it in advance. Some right hands set up the Claw on Flair, who counters with a knee to the ribs. The knee drop is countered with a grab of the leg and Kerry throws on the Figure Four. Flair makes the rope for the break as he’s busted open as well. The Claw goes on again but Flair tosses him over the top for the lame DQ at 18:17.

Rating: B. They were starting to cook near the end but then the DQ cut everything off. What we got worked well though as Kerry was a little more coherent this time. You never know what you might get out of him so this was about as good as you could have expected. Flair can do this kind of thing against anyone so you knew he would be fine, but Kerry’s wild card worked out well enough here.

Post break the NWA representative says that Flair abused the NWA ruling and therefore, there must be a rematch. After basically telling the fans to be quiet, he says it’s going to be Flair vs. Kerry again in Texas, and if Flair gets disqualified, he loses the title.

Jake Roberts/Gino Hernandez vs. Mike Von Erich/Billy Jack Haynes

Haynes and Von Erich have Sunshine with them. Mike continues to look rather pitiful as he just doesn’t look like a bit time wrestler. He slams Jake (in his red karate pants look) down to start but Jake is back up with a clothesline. It’s off to Gino but Haynes is right there to clothesline him down.

Haynes’ middle rope fist drop misses though and he seems to be banged up, meaning it’s back to Roberts to take over. That lasts all of thirty seconds before it’s back to Von Erich as they are flying through this match. Mike misses the dropkick so Jake loads up the DDT, drawing Gino in as everything breaks down. The Claw goes on and Jake is done at 3:35.

Rating: C-. Well that was short and fast, with Mike being more of a sad case than anything else. Unfortunately that would get a lot sadder as time went on, but that was the horrible par for the course for the entire family. The match didn’t have time to do anything but at least they got in and out without doing anything too badly.

Overall Rating: B-. When else are you going to get a full World Title match with Flair on free TV? These shows are in their own world but they still have a lot of energy and some entertaining wrestling. You have to be in a certain mood to watch WCCW and this was one of the better ones that I have seen from them over the years. Granted some of that might be Flair, but take what you can get.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Survivor Series 1990
Date: November 22, 1990
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

The nifty squares intro theme open things up again.

Gorilla and Piper chat about the show for a bit.

The Warriors vs. The Perfect Team

The Warriors: Ultimate Warrior, Texas Tornado, Legion of Doom

The Perfect Team: Mr. Perfect, Demolition

Crush immediately comes in to jump Warrior and take over. Smash gets in a slam on Warrior and Crush drops a top rope knee for two. Perfect is freaking out in his trademark over the top style. Warrior gets up a boot in the corner and clotheslines Crush down. Off to Hawk who always looks like he could murder someone in the ring. Perfect tries him out and is immediately slammed down.

Ted DiBiase has a mystery partner for his match. Oh boy does he ever.

Million Dollar Team vs. Dream Team

Million Dollar Team: Ted DiBiase, Rhythm and Blues, ???

Dream Team: Dusty Rhodes, Koko B. Ware, Hart Foundation

Undertaker and Bret start with the newcomer pounding the tar out of Bret. Well if you want to make someone look like a killer, call Bret Hart. Bret hits the ropes and charges at Undertaker, only to get caught by the throat and slammed down. It was more like a clothesline that Undertaker went to the mat with than the usual chokeslam here but he did have Bret by the throat.

The Vipers vs. The Visionaries

The Vipers: Jake Roberts, Rockers, Jimmy Snuka

The Visionaries: Rick Martel, Warlord, Power and Glory

Marty and Warlord start as Piper is singing I Am The Walrus. Warlord powers Marty around but misses a charge in the corner. Warlord is now out of his Powers of Pain phase and is now shiny and bald. Both Rockers try to outmaneuver him but it just results in bringing in Martel. Shawn handles him with ease and brings in Jake, causing Martel to scamper away.

Natural Disasters vs. Hulkamaniacs

Natural Disasters: Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Haku, Barbarian

Hulkamaniacs: Hulk Hogan, Big Boss Man, Tugboat, Jim Duggan

Rating: C-. This was a lot more fast paced and energetic than you would expect. The continued practice of just teasing the encounter that the match is based on is getting REALLY old though as I guess they want to preserve the house show draws, because who would want to see a feud continue after a single match right? My goodness have things changed in the last twenty years.

Hogan beats up Heenan post match and poses. Piper cheering for Hogan is just wrong.

Some fans talk and have little to say. Well one fan signs who he likes which is cool.

Alliance vs. Mercenaries

Alliance: Nikolai Volkoff, Bushwhackers, Tito Santana

Mercenaries: Sgt. Slaughter, Boris Zhukov, Orient Express

Hogan, Warrior and Santana are ready.

Hulk Hogan/Tito Santana/Ultimate Warrior vs. Ted DiBiase/Visionaries

Oddly enough, Hogan comes out before Tito. Tito and Warlord start and a forearm ends Warlord in less than 30 seconds. Roma immediately powerslams Tito and brings in DiBiase. My goodness a 20 minute Santana vs. DiBiase match would freaking rock. Tito misses another forearm and a hot shot gives DiBiase the pin.

Posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. This show has some moments of ok, but can you imagine PAYING for this show? Undertaker debuts here but no one had any idea what that would mean. Nothing is changed at all, mainly because the company was afraid no one would want to see the house show matches after this.

Ratings Comparison

Warriors vs. Perfect Team

Original: C-

Redo: D

Dream Team vs. Million Dollar Team

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Vipers vs. Visionaries

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Hulkamaniacs vs. Natural Disasters

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Alliance vs. Mercenaries

Original: F

Redo: D-

Grand Finale Match of Survival

Original: D-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: F

Redo: F

It sucked four years ago and it still sucks now.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/09/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1990-title-removed-due-to-anger-issues/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Survivor Series 1990
Date: November 22, 1990
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 16,249
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

Well, we’re in the 90s now and that’s about it. Warrior is world champion, but other than that just about everything is exactly the same. It’s been a pretty bland year actually as nothing of note has happened. Your main feuds are Warrior against no one in particular and Hogan vs. Earthquake. Hogan of course wants the title back but that’s nothing new. The big thing here of course though is the debut of the Undertaker who is Ted DiBiase’s mystery partner. Let’s get to it.

The other two big things here is the infamous giant egg which I’ll get to, and the Match of Survival, which is all of the winners being grouped into one final match at the end to determine the Grand Survivors. Yeah, it’s dumber than it sounds. Let’s do this. Oh and Jesse is gone.

First off, you should buy Supertape 3. Mean Gene says so.

Jesse says you should buy WWF toys. I did.

Jesse says you should but the WWF ring. I did that too.

Mooney plugs the Grand Finale thing and the egg.

A Vince voiceover sets up the lineup. Demolition’s pictures make them look like they’re in a bondage session.

Piper goes on a big rant about the military, which I’m not huge on. Don’t do that on PPV Roddy.

Perfect Team vs. Warriors

Perfect Team: Mr. Perfect, Demolition
Warriors: Ultimate Warrior, Texas Tornado, LOD

Warrior is the world champion here, Tornado is IC champion, and the LOD cost Demolition the tag titles at Summerslam. There’s no reason at all for Warrior to be in this. This match screams train wreck to me. Gene is with the Warriors who say everything you would expect them to say. Warrior might be less coherent than Hawk. After the faces enter, it takes forever to actually get anything going. Is it that hard to figure out who is going to start?

Animal spears Crush to start this out which I like. Roddy can’t tell Demolition apart. Seriously, it’s not that difficult people. The heels beat up on Animal for a decent amount of time which isn’t surprising as he’s likely worn out after being in the ring over a minute. The wildness ensues as Perfect is in and being beaten up by all of the faces at once, which is of course, perfectly legal. So I guess Warrior and Perfect was supposed to be the main feud but that simply wasn’t the case at all.

They never had a feud that I remember unless it was a short one. Warrior would go on to face Slaughter at the Rumble while Perfect would just kind of do nothing as Boss Man feuded with the entire Heenan Family. I really don’t get the point of him being in here. I’m assuming that he had a short feud over the last few months with Warrior that this is the blow off for.

That would make sense as Warrior had a more or less one off match with Rude at Summerslam but Rude was now gone, so maybe they threw Perfect in because he was part of the Family as well. That’s the best I can come up with. Warrior gets beaten on by Demolition which amuses me as I just didn’t like Warrior that much. Wait, he’s already out and Tornado is in. I always was a mark for him. Wait now Warrior is back in.

He knocks out Axe with the splash as the ending to this match is already becoming fairly obvious, which I’m never a fan of. Crush, the most successful of Demolition arguably, comes in and beats on Warrior which I enjoy. For some reason Crush’s face push, which was supposed to result in the WWF Title was aborted for no reason at all. I never got that. Hawk and Perfect are in now, and Hawk is just freaking SCARY looking. He just looks awesome on all levels.

Somehow they botch a whip in as Perfect slips I think and goes almost into the opposite turnbuckle on his knees. It just looked odd to say the least. Hawk hits one of the hardest shoulders I’ve ever seen into the post, which is almost word for word what Piper says so at least I have someone agreeing with me. Crowd is very hot to say the least. He makes his comeback but of course he refuses to tag.

At least he’s been paying attention to old Survivor Series tapes. Crush and Animal come in and we have four guys disqualified. Yeah, that’s as dumb as it sounds, and it’s 2-1 with Tornado and Warrior, the two singles champions, against Perfect. What a great match this should be. Piper constantly saying he’s writing it down makes me chuckle. Warrior presses him and Piper says he’s up and down more than a toilet seat. And we’re moving on.

Tornado hits the exposed turnbuckle and gets Perfectplexed for the pin despite having his shoulder up. Warrior breaks the suplex with relative ease as Heenan is losing it. Perfect is beating on him with relative ease so the ending is getting clearer and clearer. Ref gets a bit bumped as Warrior kicks Perfect out onto him. I love how there’s instances where that would take the referee out for five minutes and other times where it does nothing.

The announcers say that the heat in here could hatch the egg as I’m getting those headaches I used to get. Traditional Warrior comeback ensues and the splash ends this. Gorilla says that the Warrior is the surviving team. Why do so many commentators make zero sense? Surprisingly the celebration takes very little time. Warrior is on to the grand finale.

Rating: C-. This was pretty bland. It really made little sense and just felt thrown together. Perfect was trying to get the IC title back, LOD was feuding with Demolition after costing them the tag belts, and Warrior….yeah you get the point. There was just no need to have him in there and it made the match lopsided.

I get that they didn’t really have another major option, but this was a classic example of where two regular matches would have been better suited here and the WWF Champion doesn’t really have a lot of need on a show like this. That would change next year.

The Million Dollar Team (can you please get a new name Ted?) says that they’ll win. There’s still no mystery partner though.

Million Dollar Team vs. Dream Team

Million Dollar Team: Ted DiBiase, Honky Tonk Man, Greg Valentine, Mystery Partner
Dream Team: Dusty Rhodes, Koko B. Ware, Jim Neidhart, Bret Hart

Ok, a few things. Number one, why would you have Koko on your team? Two, Dusty gets a great pop. Three, the Mystery Partner was assigned to Koko, since the captains cancel each other out and then you have the two tag teams? Wow he really started on the bottom of the ladder didn’t he? Dusty has also finally dropped the polka dots.

He would be gone very soon, heading back to the NWA where he belongs. Rhythm and Blues theme song, Honky Love, is either going to start a riot or is the best song I’ve ever heard. Shockingly, he’s offered bonus money if his team wins. Yeah he’s done that every year now. Of course, the mystery partner is the debuting Undertaker.

I would say this warrants a bit of a section of its own. Now this is by far and away the most important thing to happen at this PPV to this point and likely is the most important thing to happen at Survivor Series ever. Taker, as IC (I think) said, wasn’t designed to be the next major star like Hogan or Warrior, but rather the next phenom, ala Andre the Giant. I’d say that it’s been a success as he’s still around and in big storylines nearly 20 years later.

This is being written the night before Summerslam, so I’m going to go out on a short limb and say that Taker has returned by this point. This Taker was different than the traditional one. To begin with, he’s managed by Brother Love, not Paul Bearer. Also, he’s more of a western mortician kind of guy rather than what you all know and love. Either way, he’s completely intimidating and this was his first televised match.

He had actually been around at house shows, going by the name of Kane the Undertaker. I’d think it’s safe to say that the name of his brother wasn’t that big of a coincidence. Also, it’s good that they shortened the name I’d say. Anyway, let’s get to the match itself.

Koko is wearing bright pink. Do I need to make fun of him anymore? Now for all you trivia people, Taker’s first opponent in the WWF: Bret Hart, as he beats on him with relative ease. Another interesting fact: to the best of my knowledge, Taker has never beaten Bret clean. He hits the first chokeslam which doesn’t have a name yet, but it’s really more of Bret running at him and more of a clothesline with Taker’s hand on Bret’s throat.

Neidhart can’t do anything, so he tags in the offensive genius known as Koko. This is great as Taker no sells the dropkick and picks him up for the first ever tombstone, which is one of the best I’ve ever seen. Koko is clearly gone, as the announcers actually try to convince us that it’s a big deal that he beat Koko. That just amuses me. We get more Bret vs. Taker which there’s nothing at all wrong with.

Taker gets hit with some good shots and just stares at Bret before reaching over and tagging out. That’s just awesome as it looks like even Bret can do nothing against him. Dusty comes in now that the real threat is gone. Piper insists that the faces can figure Taker out. Well not many people have in 19 years so I think the Scot is wrong here. Honky comes in rocking red tights which just don’t look right on him. They say Heartbreak Hotel.

It’s good to see Shawn’s interview segment getting free advertising like that. The Harts do a quick tag and Honky walks into a powerslam from Anvil to tie us up at 3-3. DiBiase runs in immediately and pounds away on him. It’s nice to see the captain leading his team like this. Gorilla has forgotten about trying to be fair here. Rhodes is in as the main feud is going at it. You know, considering it was over Sapphire, I have to wonder, WHERE IS SHE?

She left immediately after Summerslam, which always made me scratch my head. I get that she was the catalyst for the feud, but did DiBiase just release her back into the wild? Virgil interferes to eliminate Neidhart. It’s Bret and Rhodes against Valentine, DiBiase and Taker. That’s….not that bad of a match actually.

Roddy calling Love Blubber Love amuses me. We get a Blow Away diet reference that makes me smile. I’m going to step away from this for a second to put this up, as it’s a fairly infamous video that went absolutely nowhere at all.

Nothing ever came of this as I think Rose was little more than a jobber at this point. However, he was in the first ever Wrestlemania match, albeit under a mask. Seriously, what was the point of this? Anyway, that’s what Roddy references, which brought it to my head. It was one promo, this one, and then it was never mentioned again. It’s one of the great WTF moments in wrestling history.

Anyway, the faces beat on DiBiase as Piper implies Dusty isn’t too smart. Again, I don’t have to make fun of this one. Taker eliminates him with a fairly generic double axe from the top rope. Now we get to something that I just don’t get at all. Bret comes in to beat on Taker as he’s the last face remaining. They go back to the corner and we cut to Brother Love beating on Dusty who is still down on the floor. That all makes sense.

We cut back to the ring and Valentine is in with Hart and Taker is on the apron. The referee is fine with this and it’s business as usual. Naturally, I’d assume that while Taker was in the corner, Taker tagged out and made Valentine legal. That makes perfect sense. Taker though goes to the floor and fights Dusty up the aisle, and the bell rings. Taker has been counted out as he was the legal man? That makes no sense at all.

I completely understand that they didn’t want Taker to survive and they certainly didn’t want him to get pinned and I have no problem with him beating Dusty to the back to have him get counted out. That makes perfect sense and is perfectly acceptable to have him eliminated. What I don’t get at all is having the weird I guess non-tag. Taker threw Rhodes to the floor.

Why didn’t he just follow him out and then we get the count out? It would make sense at least. Anyway, within 45 seconds Valentine gets rolled up and it’s 1-1 with DiBiase vs. Hart in what should be a good match. I have yet to see someone that can go over the rope or do a flip like DiBiase. It’s just so crisp every single time and I love it. Bret just goes off on DiBiase, beating the living crud out of him.

That’s a big deal as Bret has only been given small pushes here and there but is still known as a tag guy. Very soon though, his singles push would begin and the rest is history. Ted takes over though as would be expected. Bret wasn’t going to win here, but Ted was the perfect choice to make Bret look awesome in a losing effort. They really got it right with Bret as they built him up ever so slowly and once the push happened, everyone was ready for it and it went perfectly.

DiBiase accidentally nails Virgil. Their feud was right around the corner as Virgil would turn on him at the Rumble, leading to the feel good moment of the year (save for Macho/Liz) at Mania 7 with Virgil beating him. DiBiase reverses a cross body for the win, which works well as it was his experience that beat Bret. Both guys look good, but the bigger star comes out with the win as he should have.

Rating: C+. Clearly, this is more important for Taker than who won. Looking back, this might trump Jericho for best debut of all time. The people were legit stunned and had no clue what to think of Taker and a lot of people still don’t to this day. Taker is a character that just works, plain and simple. It’s a lot like Stone Cold in that way. They knew they had something with both guys, but no one could predict just how big they would become.

They hit this one so far out of the park though that it’s amazing. The interesting thing is that earlier in the year, Taker was Mean Mark Callaway and jobbing to Luger for the US Title. He was just a generic big man that was a heel, and then they turn him into one of the most famous gimmicks of all time. To me, it’s no longer about is he the best big man ever.

It’s how far up do you rank him on the best of all time list, because he’s certainly on it. As for the rest of the match, it’s just there. Bret and DiBiase is good, but the rest is just ok. Certainly not bad, but nothing to go out of your way to watch. Taker’s debut and time in the match certainly is worth seeing though, just from an historical perspective.

We go to the back with the Vipers, meeting with Gene in the shower. This is just odd. This is another infamous team, but we’ll get to that later on. Jake talks about how they’re all survivors. Jimmy Snuka has a mustache. It looks weird. Jake still has the messed up eye, which is the point of this feud. One day on the Brother Love show, Martel tried to spray his cologne on Damien and Jake went after him, getting sprayed in the eye. This led to him being “blinded”, which was just a bad feud. It inspired the blowoff match, the infamous blindfold match at Wrestlemania which was just bad. It also explains the team name for the heels: the Visionaries.

Vipers vs. Visionaries

Vipers: Jake Roberts, Marty Jannetty, Shawn Michaels, Jimmy Snuka
Visionaries: Rick Martel, Hercules, Paul Roma, Warlord

Apparently Jake is wrestling against doctor’s orders. You have to love how much Vince loves his wrestlers as he’d rather have the money they could produce than their health. Rockers had been feuding with Power and Glory, as Shawn had an injured knee, costing them the match at Summerslam. Jake picked them for his team because they had “survived” the injury. Yeah they’re really stretching a lot of these.

Warlord and Superfly…yeah there’s no real point other than they’re both in the midcard. The announcers try to put over how great the card has been and how Jake is half blind here. Amazingly this was considered cool back in the day. Piper gets a facepalm by saying the team is called the Plymouth Rockers. This isn’t much in the way of talent/title success. We start with Warlord (who Piper calls walrus and makes I Am the Walrus references which I love) against Marty.

Snuka, Robers, Warlord, Hercules and Roma never won anything in the company. Jannetty has two forgotten reigns and Martel won as a tag guy. There’s just not much on either team with Shawn being not much yet either. Piper says the Rockers are going to be the team of the 90s. That amuses me. Shawn with an AWESOME counter to a hiptoss as he more or less does a rotating flip without touching the ground off a hiptoss. It’s hard to describe but it looked sweet.

How in the world was Roma a Horsemen? Seriously, what were they thinking? Hercules needs to pull his tights down a bit as he’s approaching thong territory. Warlord takes out Marty off a powerslam that he got in a very cool looking counter to a cross body. It’s nothing that you haven’t seen before but it’s one of the best executions of it I can ever remember.

On to Jake vs. Warlord, which could have been a decent mini-feud. Jake knocks him down and then tags Shawn who goes for the cover. Um, ok? I’ve always loved Gorilla’s highly intellectual terms about parts of the body. They make him sound almost cocky without being completely so though. At least Martel dropped a knee after getting tagged in before covering. Piper surprises me and says that Martel has some brains. That came from nowhere.

I like Shawn’s look around this time. The black and yellow was a cool looking combination on the team I thought. Snuka comes in wearing tights and boots, which looks completely wrong. He belongs in no shoes and trunks. What kind of a respectful savage wears shoes? First person to make a Macho Man joke here gets red rep. Snuka is gone after a reversed cross body as he makes his standard jobbing appearance.

We finally get Jake vs. Martel for all of 8 seconds but they never make contact as Martel runs. That’s even more building for the eventual showdown, which works. Piper calls Hercules a cheap skate. That’s odd indeed. Roma, of course, screws up and costs his team the advantage. Good to see he hasn’t forgotten his place. Shawn hits a move that you don’t see often: an elbow off the second rope. I’m not talking about a Bret Hart style one.

I’m talking about the kind Savage uses, but from the middle rope. It looked different but in a good way. Shawn gets knocked out by the Power-Plex, so we’re down to 4-1. Yeah this has been very bad so far. The fans try to give Jake the big comeback cheers but it’s just not going to work. Piper says the fans are standing up for what Jake is doing. Right now he’s getting his face kicked in. That’s 1990 WWF fans: fighting for your right to get a beating.

Jake gets an AWESOME DDT on Warlord but Martel goes for the cologne to the face so Jake chases him with the snake for the count out. That’s a sneaky way to leave without looking like a coward. The Visionaries win in a clean sweep, which I think has happened 3 times ever?

Rating: D+. This was really boring. Nothing of interest happened, the main feud never had anything happen, and the faces got beat into the ground. This is one of the least interesting matches of all time in the series, and it took me an hour to get through a 17 minute match. That’s how uninterested I was here. One last thing here.

Ok, I get it: Jake is the only star there and without him, the team sucks. But seriously, he can’t either knock out one or two of the four or just get pinned? It’s not like there’s any shame in losing to four guys.

Ad for the Rumble, which is on a Saturday for some reason.

Sean is with the Hulkamaniacs. Hogan and his latest team of glorified jobbers say they’ll survive. Ok Boss Man wasn’t a jobber. Duggan has yellow ribbons on his board. Why is that? Hogan is going to tell you. It’s for the soldiers in the Persian Gulf. Cool. Hogan volunteers his team to go fight in the war. Yeah, that’s a bit much.

Hulkamaniacs vs. Natural Disasters

Hulkamaniacs: Hogan, Boss Man, Duggan, Tugboat
Natural Disasters: Earthquake, Haku, Dino Bravo, Barbarian

Before the match starts, the announcers point out that it’s Warrior against 5 guys at the moment. I love how they don’t even try to imply that it’ll be anything other than faces vs. heels. It makes sense for the heel team that survived together to be together though, and DiBiase would side with whoever had the better odds. Warrior of course would go into a 5-1 contest thinking he’s the favorite too, so this somehow makes sense.

All four faces get their own entrances, and it amuses me to think that without Hogan, this team is little more than glorified jobbers. Boss Man would be getting a huge singles push soon, but for reasons that I flat out never got, he didn’t get the IC belt from Perfect at Summerslam. He just annihilated every member of the Heenan Family to get that match and then he won by DQ, never getting another major shot. He slowly became a jobber after that and then went to WCW.

It really was odd indeed. Tugboat would be leaving for WCW in a few years, becoming the legendary Shockmaster. Hogan of course gets a massive pop. Piper can’t understand the Hogan chant. Gorilla points it out to him and you can tell Piper is legit embarrassed. We start with Duggan and Haku. Haku is jumping off the ropes. Not bad since he weighs almost 300.

Over to Dino Bravo, who has to be the biggest waste of a wrestler of all time. He’s just pointless. What did this guy ever do other than having a fake championship? Dang Jimmy Hart had some sweet jackets. Boss Man comes in and Haku hits a SWEET dropkick. He nails him right in the head with it. Of course it barely hurts him and Boss Man takes him out with the Boss Man Slam. He then runs over at the heel corner to beat up all three other guys. That’s either brilliant or very, very stupid.

It’s Barbarian next and Boss Man is beating the heck out of him too. DAng why did he never win the IC belt? That just makes no sense. That move that I mentioned Shawn doing earlier apparently isn’t so rare as Barbarian tries it as well. Now Duggan is back in. Seriously, we’re 6 minutes in and it’s been Duggan and Boss Man for the faces the whole time. Duggan tries to knock down Earthquake but just can’t do it.

Eventually he gets the top rope pulled down by Jimmy Hart and picks up the board. Then, because he’s a genius, he whacks Earthquake with it to be eliminated. Dude, you’re an IDIOT! Seriously, he just ran in and hit him with it. Where is the thought process from either him or the booker here? It’s just random attacking that makes no sense. After that, Hogan immediately runs in for the showdown. Unlike the previous match, this actually happens.

Hogan had already won at Summerslam, but it was just by count out. He easily slams him as the crowd is wild. The fans were just WAY into Hogan in a way that’s insane. Hogan hits the classic 10 punches in the corner which needs to be done more often. It’s one of the easiest ways possible to get cheered. Of course it has no effect and Hogan is in trouble. I’ve always loved Earthquake’s powerslam.

He does that little thing where he hooks in the guy’s head right before he slams the guy and it just always works. Quake running on his knees to the corner is kind of funny looking. See, that worked. It was about a minute and a half long but it was at least solid contact. Hogan takes Bravo out with a small package. Piper curses again as Tugboat still hasn’t been in. Piper has a great line: Boy that Hulk Hogan is almost as smart as Roddy Piper. Is that true? I’m not sure.

Anyway, in one of the maybe 10 moves ever that have made my jaw drop, Boss Man, weighing well over 300lbs, goes to the top and comes off with a cross body. EARTHQUAKE CATCHES HIM WITH EASE. He doesn’t stumble, he doesn’t almost drop him, he catches him clean. That was absolutely amazing. Earthquake takes him out with a pair of elbows.

AGAIN Hogan is in. Gorilla literally forgets about Tugboat. That’s just funny. He has to be injured or something like that. They imply he’s been in but if he was I blinked and missed it. The fans are either chanting TOOT or booing him out of the building. I’m not sure which. Oh he’s finally in by the way. He and Quake “brawl” to the floor and both are out. He was legal less than 45 seconds. Yeah, definitely thinking injury there.

Oh well, at least it lasted longer than the helmet stayed on. Ok, so for no apparent reason, we’re down to Hogan and Barbarian. Uh, why? Why is this not Hogan and Earthquake? That’s your main feud, Hogan has already beaten him once and it wasn’t clean and you could argue that a one on one win here wouldn’t be clean either. I don’t get the point of it not being Hogan and Quake. Barbarian tries a piledriver but it wasn’t that good at all.

We get the WAY too common Hogan double clothesline spot that I’m hating more and more every time. Barbarian gets a great big boot to the face. I’m liking him more and more every match he has. He hits the top rope clothesline that was his de facto finisher and Gorilla is surprised that Hogan kicks out. Again, do I need to make fun of that? The Hulk Up begins and you know what’s coming next. Piper talks about how real men wear kilts. That’s why I don’t wear one.

Some annoying fan is screaming really high pitched and it’s annoying me. Hogan immediately beats up Heenan to no commentary. That was random and over the top violence. Some role model eh? Posing goes on for way too long as Piper again talks about how pro-American he is. It’s ok I suppose though.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t awful but it wasn’t great. The ending was a bit odd but we knew Hogan would win it. The Boss Man looked dominant as it took a kick from Barbarian who was on the apron to slow him down. Tugboat I guess was hurt? Either way he would become Typhoon soon enough I guess and then on to being the Shockmaster. Can we get this guy a good gimmick? Anyway, the match was just ok, but I’m not sure why it was booked like it was. Same result though so that’s fine.

Ad for the Royal Rumble. I can’t wait for that.

Fans talk about who they’re here to see. Um, ok? There’s an 8 or so year old on there that is FIRED UP! A very cool thing, we have a guy signing who he wants to win. Anyone that can speak sign language is awesome to me.

Randy Savage comes out and talks about wanting the title back from Warrior. This is setting the stage for the eventual epic showdown at Mania 7, as well as the reunion with Liz which is one of it not the most emotional moments in wrestling history. This is completely over the top and likely very cocaine induced.

Mercenaries vs. Alliance

Mercenaries: Sgt. Slaughter, Boris Zhukov, Orient Express
Alliance: Nikolai Volkoff, Tito Santana, Bushwackers

So yeah Nikolai is the captain of a team. That’s just amusing. Piper says the last egg he saw that was that big was the one Milli Vanilli laid, which has Gorilla about to completely lose it on air. This is the jobber match of the evening, although Slaughter would be about to get the world title in January. This was the patriotic match if you can’t tell. I guess it’s the everyone but American team vs. the team with only one American who hates America team.

They keep talking about the egg. I’ll save the surprise for you though. Slaughter is an Iraqi sympathizer here and has some old dude from the AWA with him. Eventually he’d pick up the Iron Sheik and they would be the least feared stable of all time. Gene catches up with Slaughter in the aisle (like that was a hard thing to do) and Slaughter says that he and his men had a good turkey dinner while the soldiers in the Middle East had a bad holiday.

This took three minutes somehow. Slaughter was going really far with this gimmick and it was actually very controversial and to this day it’s still a bit rough. This is the original Orient Express, meaning the far worse one. It wouldn’t be until the masked Kato came in that the team got very exciting and started tearing the house down with the Rockers on a regular basis. Boris is gone in less than a minute to the forearm of Tito.

Good to see that in 4 years Boris has risen so high above jobber status. It makes me wonder why he keeps getting spots on people’s teams. Sato of the Orient Express comes in and beats the tar out of Tito, but Butch of all people beats him up. The other Orient Express guy is tagged in, but the Bushwackers hit the Battering Ram on the non legal guy and pin him so it’s 4-2. Holy crap Tito is tagged in and after two and a half minutes it’s 4-1. Geez.

Anyway, it’s now the only guy that could actually do anything in this match, Sgt. Slaughter, vs. all four guys. It’s captain vs. captain to start with Slaughter vs. Volkoff. The Russian/American/Lithuanian is on offense for all of 10 seconds and now Slaughter is killing him. I’ve never gotten why he was considered any good. I guess it’s his gimmick that carried him. That makes sense. In a fairly unique move, Slaughter gets a side headlock and runs his head into the turnbuckle. I like that.

He hits a bad dropkick and then after spitting on him, an elbow pins him. Well that was pretty freaking weak. The Bushwackers run in and double team him but it lasts about 20 seconds and a stomach breaker ends Luke. Yeah it’s one of those kinds of matches. Butch is gone about 30 seconds after that so we get down to 1-1, with the two most talented guys in the match, in less than 7 minutes.

Tito hits the forearm from the top but of course that doesn’t end it, nor is it even acknowledged as a huge move. More or less, this came down to a one on one match, which is what it likely should have been the whole time, even though there’s no heat between these two. Piper makes some racial stereotypes about Latinos as Tito gets beaten on even more.

After about two minutes of Slaughter beating on him, he hits the forearm to bring us right back to where we started. The referee gets bumped and Sheik runs in and hits Tito for the DQ to make Tito the winner. Ok I guess, but this was just a weird match overall.

Rating: F. This had no business being 4-4. It had a talented guy on both teams and it wound up being 1-1 as it likely should have been all along. The other 6 were just window dressing and they meant nothing at all. This was a horrible Survivor Series match, but a decent little three and a half minute one on one match. However, that’s not how it was billed, so this was a failure.

The heel team for the Grand Finale says exactly what you would expect them to say. Actually just Martel and DiBiase talk but that’s likely the best choice.

And now it’s time for the white elephant in the room: the egg. For weeks if not months now, this thing has been around. The idea was the more lively the crowd gets, the faster it will hatch. As stupid and contrived of a concept as that is, we can go with that. Gene gets to be the master of ceremonies here for lack of a better term. All over what would evolve into the IWC back then, the speculation was on. Could it be Undertaker debuting? What about Ric Flair?

That was actually a very real possibility, even though he wouldn’t be there for about a year. Maybe a manager or a celebrity? No one knew. There was a rumor that it was the returning Jesse Ventura. Seriously, this was a secret that Vince actually kept very well for a change. That would turn out to be a good thing. The idea of who laid the egg was never touched on, but this egg was about 8 feet long so there had to be a person inside of it.

Gene speculates that it could be a dinosaur, a rabbit, or balloons. WHAT THE HECK? Number one, A FREAKING DINOSAUR? Come on Gene. Second, rabbits are mammals, and therefore don’t hatch. Balloons? Why would inanimate objects be in an egg? He also speculates it could be this month’s Playboy playmate. Yeah that’s even dumber. Gene’s acting here is flat out awful but he’s trying his best given what he’s working with.

The egg hatches and there he is: the Gobbledygooker. Yes, after over 6 weeks of buildup, it’s a guy in a turkey suit. WOW. After all that, it’s a stupid Thanksgiving mascot. Needless to say, this is booed out of the freaking building. Monsoon and Piper have the very fun job of trying to care at all. They apparently weren’t told what it was going to be. Gene makes bad jokes to try to pass the time.

It takes two minutes to get out of the eggs and now he’s making turkey sounds. Somehow Gene knows its name. Gene understands him too. Now, to make this even dumber, we get a rock version of Turkey in the Straw, and they go to the ring. It’s never explained if the turkey is male or female. Amazingly, the turkey can jump the top rope. Piper tries to imply that the kids like this guy as I feel so sorry for him.

As if that’s not enough, Gooker and Gene commence to dance in the middle of the ring. I kid you not, they begin to square dance. Gene rolls around after Gooker does some tumbling. Okerlund hitting the ropes and falling is the funniest part of this. The booing is off the charts here as Gorilla tries his hardest to make this passable. This goes on for EIGHT MINUTES. I kid you not, this segment almost went into double digits on the clock.

They leave, and the Gooker is crowned the worst gimmick of all time. Seriously, what in the heck was the point of this thing? They built it up for months so it’s not like they couldn’t have changed it at the last minute. They had all kinds of time to make this into something at least interesting. Given that it’s a massive egg, there’s only so much that they could do with it, but dang man seriously? This was the best they could come up with?

There’s a reason he made like two house show appearances and then wasn’t seen again for 11 years. Hector Guerrero deserves a medal for doing this. And Vince wonders why he was in serious financial trouble at this time.

The face team for the final match says they’ll survive. This takes about two and a half minutes as you can tell they’re stalling for time.

Grand Finale Match of Survival

Heels: DiBiase, Martel, Power and Glory, Warlord
Faces: Hogan, Warrior, Santana

Seriously, that’s the best name they could come up with? The ending here is fairly obvious and I’m not sure what the point of this was. DiBiase was a midcard guy by this point and he’s easily the biggest star on the team. The intros of course take forever so since the end of the gimmick segment, we’ve killed almost 8 minutes with intros and interviews. That’s not half bad. This might have been done by Vince to keep the fans from realizing that this is, say it with me, COMPLETELY POINTLESS!

Piper gets some sneaky lines in saying that he could care less about this and that the show is horrible. Warlord is out in less than 30 seconds to a forearm. Tito goes for it again on DiBiase but he crashes and burns. Gorilla saying missed it made me laugh. A stun gun takes out Santana about 8 seconds after that. Now it’s Hogan vs. DiBiase and if this was two years ago this could main event Wrestlemania. Instead, no one is interested.

Power and Glory really was a solid idea for a team. It might have worked had they both not sucked so much. What follows is about five minutes of jobber offense with the occasional elimination here and there. You know the faces are both going to survive and the fans know it too. Hogan was just not what he used to be at this point as the act was old.

He had been doing the same thing for over 6 years now, so of course Vince would keep using it for another year before the best idea he ever had next year, which we’ll get to tomorrow. After Hogan no sells the Power Plex, Roma is out to a clothesline. Yes I said a clothesline. HOW IN THE WORLD WAS HE A HORSEMAN??? Martel gets annihilated by Warrior after a hot tag but he bails after Hogan and Warrior beat on him forever.

So let me get this straight. We have a guy that was at his peak two years ago, and a guy that used to hate him because DiBiase called him his slave. Of course, that’s not mentioned here. DiBiase goes out to the big boot and legdrop and Hercules takes the splash of death to end him and end this horrid show. Hercules walked in, got powerslammed, clotheslined twice, shoulder block, splash. It took about 20 seconds. Massive roided up posing takes us out.

Rating: D-. Seriously, WHAT WAS THE POINT TO THIS? It’s just the big faces beating up on jobbers for 9 minutes. The fans aren’t interested, clearly, but Vince refused to do anything different and that’s why it sucked.

Overall Rating: F. This show was AWFUL. The first match made no sense from a booking perspective, the second is only important for historical aspects and not the wrestling involved, the third is a freaking squash match that made NO SENSE, the fourth is Hogan doing his old routine, and the fifth is a one on one match billed as a Survivor Series match.

The Gooker was SO STUPID and the finale was a waste of 9 minutes because Vince didn’t want to think. That’s how I would summarize this show: uninspired. It’s just there and NOTHING HAPPENS ON IT. Taker debuts, but no one knew that he would become what he is today. This whole thing was just a waste of time and the concept was a failure to this point, and that was the case for one clear reason: other than the first show, no heel team ever won a major match.

The first Survivor Series worked because the ending was a big surprise. Hogan…lost…on PPV…that just did not happen in big matches back then, period. Since then though, the faces have dominated every time. This could have been a huge show every year but instead, Vince decided to just push his top faces even harder which ultimately hurt business badly.

The buyrate for this show was horrid and Vince FINALLY woke up and did a more traditional show the next year with Hogan vs. Taker, which was interesting to say the least, but we’ll save that for tomorrow. Even I, the old school enthusiast that I am, say SCREW THIS SHOW. It’s just awful all around and not worth your time. Check out Taker’s match for the historical aspect and a passable match, but other than that go watch an old Thunder.

 

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