NXT – October 21, 2015: Weeks, Not Half Hours

NXT
Date: October 21, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re in the fun times for NXT now as they’re a long way off from starting the build to the next Takeover so we might have another big card in the middle, meaning it’s time for some fun TV. Apollo Crews is the new #1 contender to Finn Balor’s NXT Title but tonight we’ve got a former TNA World Champion debuting. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the battle royal with Crews last eliminating Baron Corbin for the win. That was quite the star making performance but I still don’t have much of a connection to him. That’s the same thing I said about Finn Balor though and that turned out quite well.

Opening sequence.

Asuka vs. Billie Kay

Kay now has a full entrance so there seems to be some plans for her. We also get a quick inset promo from Kay where she says she’s been around the world and has some long legs. So Stacy with an accent. Fans: “YOU KILLED DANA!” Billie’s early cheap shot doesn’t work but she grabs a nice delayed vertical suplex for two. She goes after Asuka’s arm but Asuka comes right back with the rapid fire offense. A forearm just ticks Asuka off and there’s a cross armbreaker on Kay. Fans: “ARMBAR!” Kay makes the ropes so Asuka gives her a German suplex, followed by the Asuka Lock for the submission at 3:27.

Rating: C+. This was another efficient match as Asuka got to destroy someone else, but the important thing here is that we now have something to differentiate Billie. No it’s not much, but she’s Australian and has long legs. If nothing else it’s more focus than she’s got since she debuted so they’re going somewhere with her. It’s a start and that’s something everyone needs.

The announcers rave about Asuka.

Video on Baron Corbin.

Tyler Breeze says that Samoa Joe doesn’t get to win the Dusty Classic and then just go on to be #1 contender. After last week, Breeze isn’t #1 contender but Joe isn’t either. If Joe has a problem with that, he can come find Breeze because Tyler would love to slice a few pieces of bacon off of Joe. In case you didn’t get that, he’s saying Joe is fat. I didn’t know Tyler was a Steiner.

Colin Cassady/Enzo Amore vs. Scott Dawson/Dash Wilder

Cassady says if you come see them this Halloween, you’re knocking on the wrong door. Dawson (are he and Wilder officially called the Mechanics or not? I know they’re often called that but has that ever been used in NXT?) takes out Breeze’s leg to start and we get into an old school Anderson series of tags as they work over the leg. Dawson grabs a leg lock and Enzo is in big trouble early on. Cass finally breaks it up with a kick to the head and Enzo grabs a small package to pin Dawson at 2:24.

Enzo and Colin take a beating post match.

Video on Rhyno.

Breast cancer is bad.

Eva Marie is still in Paris. The NXT fans probably don’t understand French culture but she’s got a present for us: herself.

Danny Burch vs. James Storm

The fans seem genuinely shocked by this one. The announcers actually mention Storm’s cup of coffee in the dying days of WCW and treat him like a huge deal. Fans: “YOU BELONG HERE!” Storm looks the same as he did in NXT and is good here. Burch pounds him down in the corner and cranks on the neck, only to have Storm come back with some clotheslines and an enziguri in the corner.

A running neckbreaker (Storm: “GOODNIGHT!”) sets up a new move where he looks like he’s loading up a White Noise but spins Burch around into something like a Russian legsweep for the pin at 1:52. Apparently it’s called the Eight Second Ride. I’ve heard worse names and this was a good debut.

Storm does his catchphrase.

Apollo Crews vs. Finn Balor is in two weeks.

Video on Crews where he talks about growing up all over the world and watching wrestling with his dad. Ultimate Warrior got his attention and he thought he’d like to do it. Crews starts crying when he talks about convincing his mom to buy a toy belt they couldn’t afford. Some clips from Evolve wraps up part one. This helped lay a groundwork for Crews and that’s more than he’s had so far.

Nia Jax is still here and is back next week.

Alexa Bliss vs. Peyton Royce

Bliss grabs a headlock to start and steps on Royce’s back when Peyton drops to the mat. It’s off to an armbar from Alexa as the announcers bicker like morons. The fans chant for Peyton so Alexa pounds her down and moonsaults into double knees to the ribs. The Sparkle Splash gives Alexa the pin at 3:15.

Rating: D. Bliss isn’t much in the ring but she can look intimidating with Blake and Murphy behind her. I don’t think anyone is going to buy her as a real threat to Bayley but she can be a good hill for Bayley to climb. Well as good as a 5’1 hill can actually be. Royce could be fine with some more time and a character.

Post match Bliss says she was made to be Women’s Champion.

Joe vs. Breeze next week.

Rhyno vs. Baron Corbin

They immediately brawl to start and fight to the floor for all of five seconds. Back in and Rhyno gets the better of it and punches him up against the ropes, sending Baron out to the floor for a breather. Rhyno follows him out but gets sent into the post as we take a break. Back with Baron slowly stomping away and putting on a chinlock to slow things down even more.

Rhyno fights up and they head outside again with Corbin being sent into the steps. Back in and a quick suplex gets two for Rhyno, followed by the spinebuster for the same. The Gore connects for a surprising two (good) and the fans want one more. Rhyno proves that listening to the fans is a bad idea as he charges into the End of Days for the pin at 12:29.

Rating: C-. This was fine for a low level TV main event but it’s still nothing I need to see again. Corbin has been doing the same thing for so long now and he needs a story other than “Corbin vs. power guy”. Rhyno is a nice win for Baron, but find something new for him to do already.

Joe says desperation is a very funny thing. Tyler Breeze is the epitome of a desperate man but Joe knocked him out. Then he had the nerve to call Joe out. That desperation is going to get him hurt, so Tyler needs to put in his highlights and make sure his hair is nice and pretty, because Joe is coming for him. When is the last time you saw a show ending with a preview for next week like that? That’s a nice old school change of pace.

Overall Rating: B. An hour of story advancement, acceptable wrestling (mostly) and an old school hype promo to end the show. This continues to be my favorite show of the week and they keep polishing it more and more every time. They’ve even set up a few weeks worth of big matches to keep you coming back. Yeah notice that WWE: they set them up for future shows, not the next half hour.

Results

Asuka b. Billie Kay – Asuka Lock

Colin Cassady/Enzo Amore b. Scott Dawson/Dash Wilder – Small package to Dawson

James Storm b. Danny Burch – Eight Second Ride

Alexa Bliss b. Peyton Royce – Sparkle Splash

Baron Corbin b. Rhyno – End of Days

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – October 14, 2015: Deal With It

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 14, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s the second week of the World Title Series (love the effort that went into that name) and tonight we get to see the other four groups to complete the field. It should be interesting to see how they can fit in this many people given their roster limitations, meaning we might be in for some extra surprises. The action last week was good so hopefully it continues in that direction this week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the World Title situation and last week. This still doesn’t make the whole thing feel any less messy and overcomplicated to get to the conclusion of a tournament.

It’s time to announce the new groups.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy

Eddie Edwards

Davey Richards

Robbie E.

Group Future Four

Jesse Godderz

Mica

Eli Drake

Crimson

Group X-Division

Tigre Uno

DJZ

Mandrews

Manik

Group TNA Originals

James Storm

Bobby Roode

Abyss

Eric Young

Yes Manik and not TJP because this was taped months ago and new storylines are erased.

We get a challenge from Robbie E. for NFL superstar Rob Gronkowski for some point in the future. Ignore him saying that he’ll beat Gronkowski worse than the Dallas Cowboys as that game already happened.

Group Tag Team Specialists: Matt Hardy vs. Davey Richards

So it’s Group Rockers. Davey takes him down to start and works on a leg lock but lets it go just as quickly. We get a chat from the round table discussion where Davey is pretty passive about the whole thing but Matt wants the title back. They head to the apron with Matt grabbing a quick Side Effect to send Davey to the floor.

Back in and Matt hooks a sleeper but Davey fights back with a jawbreaker to knock Matt to the floor, followed by a suicide dive. Josh: “Of course the ending to Bound For Glory has been trending for two weeks.” Back in and Davey fires off kicks until Matt grabs the Side Effect for two more. Matt dives into a kick to the ribs but Davey misses a top rope double stomp, setting up the Twist of Fate to give Matt the pin at 9:06.

Rating: C+. Nice match here with Matt doing his normal stuff and Davey doing all of his kicks. Matt would have been fine for a token title reign but giving him one in the spot they did it and the quick fallout are going to make it much more infamous than a feel good moment. You almost have to expect Matt to advance into the round of sixteen, likely winding up against Galloway or Carter down the line.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Robbie E. – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Eddie Edwards – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Davey Richards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

We take a look at Beer Money splitting and Roode taking the World Title from Storm.

Group X-Division argued about who is the least likely to advance. Bart Simpson jokes are made.

Pope predicts DJZ and Tigre Uno advance from the group for his fearless predictions.

Group Wildcard: Aiden O’Shea vs. Kenny King

The announcers act like O’Shea is an unknown who had never been seen before Bound For Glory. We go split screen for the round table (with the roundtable being far bigger than the match) and come back with King getting two off a sunset flip as Bradley’s pants have split. A spinning kick to the face drops O’Shea but the Royal Flush is countered. Instead it’s a springboard Blockbuster to give Kenny the pin at 4:44.

Rating: C-. So Shelton Benjamin pinned Sheamus. A good chunk of the match was spent on the round table where O’Shea thought King could win because he’s handsome. I actually like the idea of O’Shea as there’s always room for a big power brawler. No he isn’t going anywhere but it’s nice to have him around.

Group Wildcard

Kenny King – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Crazzy Steve – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Mahabali Shera – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Aiden O’Shea – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Eric Young says he’s exposing Abyss for the worthless freak that he is tonight.

Davey Richards says he lost a fair match to a better man tonight.

Here’s your latest filler: we see a group and Pope swipes right if he thinks the wrestler wins or swipes left if he thinks they lose. Abyss and Roode to win and Young and Storm to lose.

Group TNA Originals argue over who is eliminated. Storm and Abyss are annoyed over the Revolution fallout.

Group TNA Originals: Eric Young vs. Abyss

Abyss splashes him in the corner to start but Eric bites the hand to block a chokeslam as we take a break. Back with the brawl heading to the break and Abyss sending him into the steps to take over. Young starts choking a lot but dives into a chokeslam attempt. Abyss has to settle for a Samoan drop for two, followed by the chokeslam for the same. Janice is brought in but Hebner takes it away, allowing Eric to get in a low blow and the top rope elbow for two. The Black Hole Slam gives Abyss the quick pin at 10:39.

Rating: D+. This is the match where the reality of this Series sat in for me. Yeah the concept isn’t bad and they’ve organized it really well, but this is probably all we’re getting for the next two to three months: mediocre matches that only exist for the sake of the tournament with no one interested in doing anything outside of the ordinary. Such is life in TNA.

Group TNA Originals

Abyss – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

James Storm – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Bobby Roode – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Eric Young – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Ethan Carter III, on a bad Skype connection, says he was robbed of the title at Bound For Glory. He’s going to win and isn’t worried about fighting Lashley next week. This tournament doesn’t end until he wins it. Carter is really good at these closing lines.

Young says everyone is against him but he’ll win in the end.

Abyss says tonight was Young’s night. Roode and Storm will have their nights.

Group Tag Team Specialist: Eddie Edwards vs. Robbie E.

Feeling out process to start until Eddie gets in a running knee to the face. Robbie sends him out to the floor and takes Eddie down with a nice dive. A legdrop gets two on Eddie as we hear Matt Hardy picking Robbie E. as the least likely to advance. They slug it out on the floor until Eddie takes over with some chops, only to walk into the Boom Drop for two. So much for Robbie’s chances. The backpack Stunner out of the corner gets the same for Eddie but Robbie grabs a reverse DDT for the clean pin at 5:49.

Rating: C+. This was actually a lot better than I was expecting and I like the idea of Robbie getting a win here. I can’t imagine he goes anywhere in this thing but it’s cool to see him going somewhere and not being treated as a joke for a change. Edwards continues to be far better than Richards in just about every way.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Robbie E. – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Eddie Edwards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Davey Richards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Eddie shakes his hand post match.

Impact Wrestling – September 30, 2015: Only TNA

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 30, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s the go home show for Bound For Glory and the big question is what does Dixie Carter have in store for her nephew Ethan at the show. Last week’s show ended with a teaser of a special guest referee for Sunday’s title match, even though it should be pretty easy to figure out where they’re going with the story. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Galloway winning the title shot last week.

Here are Ethan and Tyrus to open the show. Ethan doesn’t get why no one is talking about him four days before the biggest show of the year. Everyone is talking about Drew Galloway when he hasn’t even won anything yet. Even Dixie Carter is talking about Drew and the champ wants her out here right now to explain herself.

Dixie gets right in his face and talks about how Drew stood up for TNA after Ethan wanted nothing to do with the war against the company their family owns. Ethan says he’s sleeping fine at night as the World Heavyweight Champion. This Sunday, Drew isn’t going to beat him because Drew can’t do it. Cue Galloway to tell Ethan to shut his bloody mouth. No one likes Ethan because he turned his back on the company.

Drew says this is his company in the first place and the belt makes him the best in the world. Ethan better hope that Drew never stops talking because the only thing he does better than talk is fight. The champ says this Sunday, Drew isn’t going to stand up because he better stand down. Drew isn’t coming to Sunday to be the savior, but he is coming to be the champ. This was good stuff and as well done of a thrown together build as they could have had.

James Storm blames Mahabali Sheera for the downfall of the Revolution.

Ethan tells Dixie that he’ll take out the future on Sunday.

Recap of Sheera rebelling against the Revolution, which started falling apart as a result.

James Storm vs. Mahabali Sheera

No DQ. Sheera starts the brawl in the aisle but Storm hits him low to take over. Storm’s cross body is caught in a fall away slam but James grabs a Backstabber. Two chairs are set up in the middle of the ring and Storm slams Sheera “through” them for two. Now it’s table time but Storm spits beer in the referee’s eyes.

The worst spear I’ve ever seen (like worse than Christian’s) gets no cover and Storm is able to get in a cowbell shot to the head. Eye of the Storm through the table gets two so Storm breaks a beer bottle. Cue Manik and Abyss for a Black Hole Slam and frog splash, setting up the Sky High to give Mahabali the pin at 7:30.

Rating: C-. If you believe the reports, this is supposed to be the big star at the India tapings. I’m not wild on Sheera either way but this wasn’t much of a match. Then again, that’s almost always the case with TNA’s gimmick matches as they’re so overused that it’s hard to get into one over the other. Storm is gone from the company now and if they’ve ever wasted a potential star like they did with him, I can’t come up with the name.

Here’s Bobby Roode with something to say. Roode is proud to be King of the Mountain Champion and is ready to defend the title with respect. There’s going to be an open challenge on Sunday and here’s Lashley to interrupt. Lashley came here to face the best competition in the world and to collect titles. They’ve had some great matches all year so why not one more time on Sunday for the King of the Mountain Title. Roode accepts. They also respect each other a lot because that’s required in TNA.

Taryn tells the Dollhouse to destroy the Beautiful People once and for all tonight.

DJZ vs. Tommaso Ciampa vs. Trevor Lee

Lee and Brian Myers will be getting their rematch for the Tag Team Titles on Sunday. Ciampa starts fast by suplexing DJZ onto the apron but Lee hits a nice flip dive to take Ciampa down. DJZ comes back in with a middle rope elbow and a double tornado DDT. Lee German suplexes Ciampa for two but he comes back with Project Ciampa (powerbomb into a backstabber) for two on Trevor. The break up sends Ciampa to the floor though and Lee’s flipping cross body into a powerslam is good for the pin at 4:16.

Rating: C. So let me make sure I’ve got this straight. Lee, who is about to fight for the Tag Team Titles, wins an individual match by pinning someone going into a multi-man match for a singles title while Ciampa, a guy who isn’t even a full time wrestler here, was RIGHT THERE for the fall. Only in TNA.

The Beautiful People are ready for the Dollhouse, even though Angelina has a busted shoulder (read as she’s pregnant). Velvet wants Taryn at ringside because just like her, it’s going to be ugly.

Brooke talks about what it means to be a Knockout. She wants the title back.

Ethan isn’t worried about whatever Dixie has planned for him.

Dollhouse vs. Beautiful People

Marti/Rebel/Jade vs. Madison/Velvet here. Velvet’s “Let’s Cuddle and Watch Star Wars” shirt is about as awesome as you can get. It’s a brawl to start with Madison sending Marti into the corner. Off to Jade for some kicks to the ribs as Pope refuses to predict a winner between Kong and Kim, citing disrespect. Madison sends Jade into the corner and makes the tag off to Sky.

More kicks have Jade in trouble so she brings in Rebel (in pink gloves) for even more kicks. A double clothesline puts both of them down and it’s off to Madison vs. Marti with the Rayne Drop connecting for two. Everything breaks down and Velvet avoids having her arm crushed. Rebel throws powder in Madison’s eyes and Marti grabs a rollup for the pin at 6:20.

Rating: D. This really didn’t do it for me as they had a bunch of kicks and then a brawl at the end. Also, I don’t know about you but I could see two big factions facing off on pay per view as an interesting idea but why do that when you can air it in a nothing match on TV instead? As usual, only in TNA.

Eric Young wants to fight anyone.

Gail Kim is ready for Awesome Kong and doesn’t know what to expect when they square off on Sunday.

Eric Young comes out to yell about Sgt. Chris Melendez having so many people help him with that one win. Eric declares himself God. This brings out Robbie E. of all people because he wants a fight. Robbie’s offense doesn’t do much as a low blow puts him right back down.

This brings out Melendez for the real fight but Eric puts him down one more time. Young goes for a chair but Chris takes it away and sends Young running. Now it’s Mr. Anderson to block Young from escaping and ask him about where God has been all his life. A bunch of people in the back want to beat Young up but Anderson, Melendez and Robbie take their turns on him instead.

Matt Hardy comes in to see Galloway and let him know that if they win their tag match tonight, Sunday’s main event becomes a three way. Drew loves the idea and says that’s why they’re here.

Young yells at Dixie about how unfair that was so Dixie gives him Kurt Angle on Sunday.

Video on Sunday’s card.

Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Matt Hardy/Drew Galloway

If Matt and Drew win, Matt is added to Sunday’s World Title match. Tyrus kicks Drew in the ribs to start before it’s off to Drew vs. Matt. Hardy has some more luck and gets in a few shots of his own but the Twist of Fate is easily broken up. The villains take over with Tyrus slapping on a chinlock before stepping on Matt’s ribs as we take a break. Back with Matt making a comeback and tagging in Drew to clean house. A running boot to the face is enough to put Tyrus away at 13:20, putting Matt in the title match on Sunday.

Rating: D+. How in the world was this a thirteen minute match? It felt like it ran about five minutes and I can’t remember a thing about it. This really didn’t need to have a stipulation attached but we wouldn’t be in TNA if they didn’t add something in for the sake of adding it in. We’re not even done with that yet.

Dixie comes out and announces Jeff Hardy as the guest referee for Sunday’s main event. Shocking indeed.

Overall Rating: C. This was WAY better than in previous weeks. Like, staggeringly better in parts. They addressed the major matches on Sunday and built them up well enough to make me a lot more interested in the show than I was before. Above all else though, everything seemed like it had a purpose. It wasn’t a bunch of filler disguised as a wrestling show and that’s a very nice change of pace.

However, there is one major issue. TNA spent their entire go home show building up Carter vs. Galloway but then they throw Matt Hardy in with like two minutes to go. Not only is Matt not a logical move (he’s lost his two title shots already) but it feels as shoehorned in as anything I’ve seen in a very long time. I’m not a big fan of triple threats in the first place and throwing in someone who doesn’t belong there makes it even worse. I could go for a break from the Hardys as well as TNA really needs to get away from these old acts. It’s not like their ratings are amazing with Jeff on top or anything so why not try something new?

Results

Mahabali Sheera b. James Storm – Sky High

Trevor Lee b. DJZ and Tommaso Ciampa – Spinning powerslam to DJZ

Dollhouse b. Beautiful People – Rollup to Rayne

Matt Hardy/Drew Galloway b. Tyrus/Ethan Carter III – Big boot to Tyrus

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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WWL Navidad Corporativa 2014: I Don’t Have A Subtitle

WWL Navidad Corporativa
Date: Dec 17, 2014 (Aired December 25, 2014)
Location: Pepin Cestero Coliseum, Bayamon, Puerto Rico
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Willie Urbina, Axel Cruz

The show is called Corporate Christmas. Why does this sound like Vince’s idea of a Christmas carol? Anyway this is a WWL (World Wrestling League) show from Puerto Rico (guess who requested it) and it can’t be worse than World Wrestling Council. Like, it’s not possible for it to be that bad. Let’s get to it.

As usual before a lucha libre show, I’d like to remind you that my Spanish is conversational at best so I might miss some major plot points given by commentary but I’ll do what I can. I do have a guide to explain some of the backstories so I’m not totally lost.

The announcers run down the card and preview the next show with stars from all over the Americas.

Mr. 450 is in the ring and ranting about someone named Carlitos ducking a rematch after beating him a few weeks back. The call out continues and here’s Carlitos, who says he’s ready to go. Wait is Mr. 450 a heel? A guy whose character is all about a high flying move is a heel? Really? The match is later in the night I guess.

Ad for next month’s big show.

Prince Xander vs. Erik Scorpion

Xander won a battle royal at the last big show (last eliminating Scorpion) and became all stuck up so this is the regular showdown. One of the fun parts of these shows is figuring out which guy is which. It’s not so easy a lot of the time. I’m pretty sure Scorpion is the one with the painted face and the one named Prince is in the nice tights and staring at the blonde at ringside.

They fight over a wristlock to start until Prince lifts the shirt up for a medium chop. The thing didn’t even echo but maybe I didn’t understand its accent. A quick rope walk into a springboard armdrag puts Scorpion down again as this has been one sided so far. Xander dropkicks him out to the floor and Scorpion climbs a structure ala Ultimate X. That goes nowhere as Prince pulls him down, only to eat a kick to the face.

A not great Asai moonsault takes Prince down with Erik landing in the front row. Scorpion looks for a weapon as the blonde tends to Xander’s wounds. There’s a chair in the corner now but Scorpion settles for two off a running corner dropkick instead. Xander gets the better of a chop off but misses a charge into the post. Scorpion’s suicide dive is caught in a good looking belly to belly and he busts out a flip dive of his own. Back in and a high cross body gets two on Scorpion but he comes back with a belly to belly superplex, followed by Sliced Bread #2 for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a good choice for an opener with some nice high flying, though I’m sure we’re going to have a lot of this style throughout the night. Xander was a good heel act, though a lot of that might be due to the blonde he had with him. Scorpion was fine for a high flier and the match was entertaining enough.

Americas Title: BJ vs. Laredo Kid

Laredo is defending with Joe Bravo as referee. The three of them had a triple threat for the inaugural title and Bravo got pinned, hence why he’s not in this one. On the way to the ring, a boss stops BJ and tells him that if his gang shows up, he’s fired. Bravo takes his sweet time starting the match. They flip around to start so Bravo rolls around as well for a laugh.

It’s a bunch of running the ropes to start until Kid bulldogs him down, only to get caught in an armbar. Kid flips out again and it’s time for a standoff. They chop it out and BJ takes off his shirt so the Kid can chop him even harder. BJ is sent to the floor but he slides back in and dropkicks Laredo off the apron in a fast spot. Back in and Bravo does the most overblown slow motion two count I’ve seen this side of an old Steve Austin match.

That’s fine with JB as he takes the Kid to the top for a German superplex but Joe somehow makes the count even slower. The distraction lets the Kid come off the top with a missile dropkick, setting up a slow motion dive to the floor. Bravo gets in some stomps on BJ as they’re not being very subtle with this story. Kid even gets annoyed at Bravo before walking the top rope for a corkscrew moonsault.

Bravo is too busy taking a call so at least the bias is universal. A bunch of regular referees come in to eject Bravo, making the match less interesting than it was going to be otherwise. After the melee is over, a monster who may be a member of the Corporation comes in to chokeslam BJ off the top. Laredo goes all the way to the top of the lighting structure, only to hit the monster by mistake. That plus an RKO give BJ two, meaning it’s time for Kid’s manager to yell at the referee. Ok then.

A top rope hurricanrana puts BJ down and the Kid dives off the structure for two more as this is going longer than it should. BJ’s frog splash gets two with the Kid’s manager pulling the referee to the floor. Using this distraction (as opposed to all the other distractions), someone I believe is part of BJ’s gang runs in and hits him with a chair, allowing Laredo to hit a springboard splash for the pin to retain.

Rating: D+. WAY too long here with too much going on. Unless I missed something, BJ was the face here which continues the trend of this company not seeming clear on how faces/heels are supposed to be chosen. The action was good here but there was too much going on and too much time.

Post match the chair swinger is revealed to be…..Joe Bravo, who plants BJ with an implant DDT.

La Rabia, BJ’s street gang, is coming for the new year’s show.

Trios Titles: La Rabia vs. Team Corporate

This is for the inaugural titles and these teams (Dennis Rivera/Noel Rodriguez/Stefano vs. Victor Rodriguez/Manuel Rodriguez/Kaifas) are at war with the gang vs. corporate. The big issue for me: I have no idea who any of these people are. I’m pretty sure the Corporation is the heel team and from what I’ve found, Dennis is the brother of Savio Vega (who won’t just go away), who leads the Corporation. Dennis is leading his street gang in a revolution because that’s how wrestling stories work. La Rabia has their street vision camera because they’re tough like that.

All three members of La Rabia dive onto the Corporate guys, followed by (I think) Stefano armdragging (I think) Manuel. They trade forearms until it’s off to Dennis (I think…..you get the idea now) for an armbar of his own before Noel (how appropriate) comes in and gets kicked in the ribs. Kaifas gets in some cheap shots on the floor before coming in legally (6’9 giant, I believe the same one from the Laredo vs. BJ match. He looks like an unmasked Abyss) for his painful monster offense. The rest of La Rabia fails at a save attempt and some triple teaming gets two.

It’s back to Kaifas for a chinlock for a bit before Noel crotches Victor on top and brings him down for a superplex. Dennis and Manuel come in off the tags and Dennis cleans house. Everything breaks down and Kaifas is left alone with all three gang members. Kaifas chokeslams two of them down….and then falls as well as they pop up. Uhh….was that supposed to be a double Codebreaker? The third member adds a guillotine legdrop for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. That ending still has me confused but not as much as figuring out which guy on the teams were which. La Rabia winning was the right call here as they’re pretty clearly the faces (I think at least. I could have this whole thing totally backwards) and the crowd needed something to cheer for. Good enough match here and defeating the monster was the right call.

La Rabia celebrates in the crowd.

Legio, a Satanic team, says their name and a lot of stuff I doubt I could understand even if I spoke Spanish.

Legio vs. Sr. C./Sylar Andrews

I can’t picture this lasting long. Legio is Spectro/Kronya, a pair of masked men and a manager. We’ll say Spectro (another guess) starts with Syler (at least he was cool on Heroes. Well at least in the first season before they watered the idea down to nothing), who howls a lot but doesn’t have much effect on offense. Both Legio guys look huge so Spectro’s slam is really impressive.

C. comes in and gets kicked in the shoulder before it’s off to Kronya for a lifting powerbomb. It’s back to Spectro for a big leg and a hard running knee in the corner as this is slow paced but high impact. C. finally does something by sidestepping a charge into the post, allowing the tag to Syler. Some very generic offense has little effect so some big chokeslams destroy both guys. A Demolition Decapitator puts Syler away.

Rating: D+. I think I liked this better than most of the other matches on the show, even if it wasn’t good. This match showcased Legio as a pair of monsters (with a good look) who were squashing what looked to be some low level talent. I could figure out exactly what they were going for here and that’s a sign of an effective match.

Pay per view ad. I already know this one by heart after seeing it a half dozen times on this show.

James Storm/Abyss vs. Heavy Artillery

Finally someone I’ve heard of. Heavy Artillery is better known as Thunder and Lightning and are something like 26 time WWC Tag Team Champions. Oh and Storm and Abyss are here too as the Revolution. Thunder and Lightning’s WWL Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line here. The Revolution tries to attack from behind to start as the announcers talk about Beer Money. Storm’s clothesline sets up a splash from Abyss on Thunder and it’s already weapons time.

Abyss rips on Lightning’s mask with Janice, allowing Storm to hang him with the noose. Back in and Lightning’s comeback is stopped by a right hand to the bloody head, leaving Thunder to take the Backstabber from James. Lightning gets taken out on a stretcher but Storm gets in some more shots for fun. This has barely been a match so far and it’s a nice change of pace from everything else on the show. The announcers plug the company’s Facebook and Twitter as Thunder is busted open as well.

Storm kicks him in the head and it actually settles down to one in the ring and one on the apron. Thunder comes back with a boot in the corner and a middle rope clothesline to Abyss, followed by a superplex to Storm. Thankfully the Black Hole Slam stops a comeback but Lightning returns for the save. A Stunner and spear put Abyss down and a powerslam gets two on Storm. Back up and a 3D knocks Storm out but Abyss gets another Black Hole Slam on Thunder, giving us stereo two counts. Nice spot there but cue Legio for the double DQ.

Rating: C+. I liked this one because it was exactly as advertised. The four of them brawled and Thunder and Lightning got to go to a draw with a mainstream tag team. That made the final sequence a nice visual as you had both teams totally equal and then do the run-in, which I’m sure sets up Legio vs. Thunder and Lightning for the titles. Well done match to work around Abyss’ issues.

The beating continues for a bit.

Here’s company matchmaker Savio Vega with a ball bat and something to say. This is HIS HOUSE because everyone has houses in wrestling. He calls out an old guy in a white hat and coat and I can barely hear what they’re saying with the bad audio. I do like that they’re only sharing one microphone for a change. Apparently the other guy is the President of the company and as you might expect, they don’t see eye to eye on how the place is run.

Cue World Champion Shane the Glamour Boy (Shane Sewell from TNA, a big star in Puerto Rico) to get in Savio’s face. From what I can tell, Shane’s opponent Bobby Roode isn’t here so he has a replacement in the form of Gilbert, who jumped from WWC like a week ago. Jumping from promotion to promotion is WAY more common down here so while a big deal, it’s not all that uncommon.

WWL World Title: Gilbert vs. Shane the Glamour Boy

Gilbert beats Shane down with a chair and chokes away as the match is officially on. A running knee puts the champ on the floor and Gilbert sends him into the structure around the ring. Totally one sided so far. Back in and a German suplex puts Shane down for two and a chop makes him freeze. Another makes him start vibrating and the comeback is on. So Shane is the face here. Got it. Gilbert stops him cold with a clothesline (totally different than a chop) and we hit the chinlock.

That goes nowhere so Gilbert goes up, only to dive into a raised boot. It’s good to know that the “I have no reason to dive like this other than I’m going to land on your boot” spot works in Spanish too. The champ gets two off a fisherman’s suplex but the referee gets bumped, allowing Gilbert to get in a belt shot for the pin and the title.

I’m not even going to bother rating it yet because Savio is out to celebrate, meaning the other boss is on his way out to restart the match. I’m right of course because some things in wrestling never change no matter where the show is taking place. Gilbert hammers away and Savio throws him a chair. A low blow stops a big shot and Shane cleans house with the chair, followed by the top rope elbow to retain the title.

Rating: C. This was fine with Shane fighting over the odds to retain the title. The false finish was fine at the time, but if weapon shots like the chair (which the referee saw) are legal, why bother with the ref bump? This was a bit more complicated than it needed to be and the story suffered as a result.

Post match Shane gets beaten up even more but Alberto El Patron pops up on screen to say he’s coming for the title at Guerra de Reyes (next PPV). Savio yells at Shane some more but the president comes in and says he’s adding Ricky Banderas (Mil Muertes) to the title match. Shane freaks out due to a long history with Banderas. Ricky shows up on screen to say he’s coming for the title as well.

Apolo vs. Mr. Big

This is fallout from Mr. Big turning on La Rabia. This is the same Apolo who was in TNA for a few years where he was actually pretty awesome. It’s a fast brawl to start with Apolo scoring with a spear and knocking Big to the floor. They trade chair shots and fight into the crowd with neither guy getting the better of it. At least I can see most of what’s going on here.

Now they go higher up into the stands with Big taking over, only to have them go off camera. They appear again for a chair duel until La Rabia runs in for a distraction, allowing Big to get in a namesake boot. Wait didn’t Big betray Rabia? What sense does that make? Apolo wins a chop off but Rabia throws powder in his eyes, allowing Big to chokeslam him for two with Apolo’s chick making the save.

The referee ejects La Rabia (it’s about time the referee did something on this show) and Apolo counters a chokeslam into a rollup for two. Big gets the same off a Samoan drop but Apolo hits a good looking superkick for two of his own…..which the referee counts as three anyway. Dang these referees really do kind of suck.

Rating: C-. Another brawl here because that’s what this show has mainly been focused on. The Rabia stuff was a bit confusing and the ending didn’t help things. Apolo looked good and Big was a good choice for a guy who could sell well and get beaten down in the end….whatever that ending was.

Big chairs Apolo after the match but Apolo’s chick comes in for the save. This brings out Mistress Glenda Lee to beat her down. I don’t know who she is either. Apolo gets back into the fight but security comes out and gets beaten up instead. Apolo’s chick is taken out on a stretcher.

Backstage, Apolo yells at the president. I’d assume a mixed tag is set up, or at least a rematch.

Mr. 450 vs. Carlitos

This is actually the main event, which isn’t what I saw coming. Feeling out process to start and they hit the mat, leading to a standoff. Some quick rollups get two each but both guys miss a different kind of kick. 450 gets dropkicked to the apron but comes back with a tornado DDT for no cover.

As we hit those Facebook and Twitter plugs again, it’s time for Carlitos to no sell the chops in the corner. Add that to the list of things that are really overused in this promotion. Another kick puts Carlitos down and we hit the chinlock. Carlitos fights up and grabs a Backstabber (WAY too common here as well), followed by ramming 450 into all of the buckles. Well all of the top ones at least. Those others must get lonely. Both guys go to the apron and fight over a suplex until 450 does Darren Young’s belly to back to take over again.

450 poses a bit too much though, allowing Carlitos to run back in and hurricanrana 450 outside. A big dive takes 450 down but Carlitos is stunned too, meaning it’s time to lay around a bit more. It’s 450 in control with a half crab but Carlitos escapes and rolls some suplexes. 450 reverses the last one and rolls some Germans but Carlitos goes to the middle rope and jumps down into a Canadian Destroyer for two. Back up and 450 does Seth Rollins spin up from the ropes but misses the enziguri.

Instead a piledriver gets two on Carlitos, meaning it’s time for frustration to set in. A Pele sets up 619 on 450 (there’s a Sesame Street episode in there somewhere. Carlitos’ top rope Rough Ryder gets two as they’re trading bombs here. There goes the referee (again) and here’s……somebody to lay out 450 but Carlitos doesn’t want it that way.

The guy lays out Carlitos as well, giving 450 a near fall. The people actually in the match slug it out and 450 grabs a brainbuster. A pair of 450’s from 450 connect for two and everyone is stunned. 450 goes back up top for what appears to be the lone purpose of getting caught in a C4 (top rope flipping downward spiral) for the pin.

Rating: B-. Best match of the show here as you could mostly tell the story they were going for with the good guy fighting to win over the bigger star in 450. Carlitos isn’t interesting or anything from the outside, though I’m sure he’s a bigger deal in Puerto Rico. Good main event though and I’m sure that interfering guy will be involved with one of these two in the future.

Carlitos puts 450 over and thanks the fans. They shake hands but 450 lays him out with a brainbuster. Referees get taken out as well so a guy in a blue mask comes out to calm 450 down. 450 beats him up too until Carlitos covers the masked guy up and 450 leaves.

The announcers preview the next show to end things.

Overall Rating: C-. The show was fine but there’s nothing on here that I’d go out of my way to see. To be fair though, that has a lot to do with only having a basic idea of the storylines going on and not being able to understand most of the promos all night long. The wrestling was passable and it’s a good sign that they have some big name outsiders coming in to help them out.

I liked this WAY better than the WWC shows I’ve seen, though this isn’t really my cup of…….whatever they drink in Puerto Rico other than tea, which I’m not big on either. Anyway, good enough show but I’d watch Lucha Underground or AAA if this is the style you’re looking for.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling – August 26, 2015: Good Grief This Is Lame

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 26, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s week three of the GFW era in TNA and there’s a chance that Jeff Jarrett is going to take over as the full time boss. There is no way this could go badly for TNA of course. Other than that we have Eric Young vs. Chris Melendez for Chris’ leg because they need something to keep the feud going. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick recap of all the GFW stuff so far.

Here are the Hardys to open things up. Jeff says he’s glad to be back and talks about the gold they’ve won everywhere. He knows Matt will be the next World Champion so Matt thanks all of the fans for their support. Matt reiterates that he wants the title so here are Ethan Carter III and Tyrus to respond.

Ethan talks about meeting the men who inspired him to start wrestling in 1999 and being so disappointed. Now he’s beaten Matt in Matt’s own match and Jeff is just a daredevil who can’t stick a landing. Jeff offers to beat him with a chair since he can’t wrestle yet, but instead Ethan just grants Matt his rematch request. However, if Ethan retains, Jeff becomes his personal assistant. Do you really want Jeff doing household chores? I could see this ending with a big fire.

We recap Eric Young vs. Chris Melendez, which has seen Young beating him at every turn but Melendez keeps coming. Now he’s putting up his prosthetic leg for one more match. Sure why not.

Young says he can’t be held responsible for what happens next.

Eric Young vs. Chris Melendez

Young quickly takes over to start and tries to rip the leg off early. Instead he settles for a chinlock but Melendez fights up with some clotheslines. A Bubba Bomb (remember he was trained by Team 3D) puts Eric down but he rakes the eyes to keep Chris in trouble. The piledriver is broken up so Young rolls him up and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: D. Now that’s it right? There’s no more reason for these two to fight and they’re never going to again right? The match was nothing due to the time, but the fact that Chris Melendez was in there didn’t do it any favors either. When I’m happier to see Eric Young, you can tell something is bad.

Young demands the leg right now and Melendez hands it over, only after hopping along because Young keeps backing up.

X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. DJZ vs. Sonjay Dutt

Tigre is defending and of course there’s no story here. DJZ dropkicks Tigre to the floor to start but walks into a hurricanrana. Sonjay sends him out to the floor and nails a flip dive off the apron to the fans mild boredom. Back in and Tigre misses a corkscrew moonsault, allowing DJZ to come back with a quick gutbuster to the champ. Dutt comes back in for a tornado DDT on the champ but the challengers clothesline each other to put all three guys down. DJZ is up first but gets German suplexed into the corner, setting up Tigre’s springboard splash to retain at 5:03.

Rating: C. Well they had five minutes, no story and some decent spots. Standard X-Division all the way here, but I still have no idea why I’m supposed to care about Tigre. Yeah he’s held the title for a few months, but I don’t know anything about him. Oh wait he loves his hometown and doesn’t like Donald Trump. That’s all they’ve got on him and that’s not enough to overcome some mediocre title defenses with no story.

James Storm demands that Manik and Abyss win the Tag Team Titles and no more dancing from Manik.

Recap of the opening segment.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Abyss/Manik

Abyss/Manik are challenging. Davey and Abyss get things going and the monster shoves the champ down with ease. It’s off to Eddie to try his luck to little effect as Abyss pounds on him as well. Manik comes in and gets beaten up in the corner. Davey gets dragged into the Revolution’s corner though and Abyss comes back in to choke in and splash. Manik gets two off a belly to back and it’s time to crank on the arms.

A dropkick stops Davey’s comeback as Josh talks about Wolves Nation. How many nations can there possibly be? Davey finally gets over for the tag so Eddie can clean house, only to have Abyss grab both champions by the throat. The Wolves backflip out (that looked cool) and kick Abyss down, setting up a double missile dropkick in the corner. Cue Storm to break up whatever the Wolves had planned but Mahabali Sheera comes out to chase Storm off. The powerbomb into a backstabber is enough to put Manik away and retain the titles at 6:19.

Rating: C+. I liked this match better than I was expecting to as you had the challengers actually feeling like more than just a throw together team, even though they’ve badly had a single match together. Good enough match here though and the Wolves are still fun to see with that precision offense.

Jeff Hardy accepts Ethan’s challenge. This could have been tacked on to the first segment to save some time.

We recap Jeff Jarrett’s return to the company.

Knockouts Title: Velvet Sky vs. Brooke

Brooke is defending in what should be an obvious ending. Feeling out process to start with neither being able to get much of an advantage. A Russian legsweep gets two for the champ and she forearms Velvet down with a hard shot. Velvet comes back with a running neckbreaker for tow but they clothesline each other down. Brooke knocks her to the floor but doesn’t want a countout. Instead she whips Velvet into the steps but here’s the Dollhouse for the DQ at 3:54.

Rating: D+. Yeah whatever. I would get into the Dollhouse again but with Gail Kim around, it’s kind of a waste of time because Gail is going to end the team like a heroine is supposed to do. Another match that didn’t have time to go anywhere either, which gets old in a hurry. At least Velvet didn’t get the title back in a nothing match.

The beatdown is on but here’s Rebel of all people to….join the Dollhouse and help beat Velvet down as Taryn laughs from the back.

Roode says he’ll win.

Anderson says he’ll win tonight.

Drew Galloway gets bad news on the phone.

Mr. Anderson vs. James Storm vs. Bobby Roode vs. Lashley

Winner gets PJ Black for the King of the Mountain Title next week. It’s a brawl to start and all four head outside to fight. Roode can’t suplex Lashley on the ramp so Lashley and Anderson clean house, only to turn it into a standoff as we take a break. Back with Roode and Storm having an old school standoff to a smattering of applause. Dinero: “They’re facing off…..again.”

Roode gets two off a quick neckbreaker but Anderson breaks it up. Lashley is back in as well for a superplex to Storm. Anderson misses a swanton bomb and gets clotheslined by Storm but they both head outside. Lashley turns Roode inside out off a clothesline but Roode knees out of a delayed vertical. The Roode Bomb is blocked by a grab of the ropes, only to have Storm come back in with a Codebreaker.

Anderson’s swinging neckbreaker puts Storm down and the Mic Check gets two on Roode. Lashley spears Anderson to the floor, only to charge into the Last Call. We’re down to Roode vs. Storm again and the Beer Money chant sets up a double suplex on Anderson. They load up the signature taunt but the Roode Bomb plants Storm for the pin at 13:30.

Rating: C+. Fun match here but what’s it for? A shot at a title that doesn’t actually belong to this company? Roode winning is the logical choice and Storm is the perfect one to take the fall since he’s on his way out. They kept this moving fast enough to make the match work and that’s all you can do here.

Velvet Sky, Gail Kim and Brooke are all on the cover of the calendar. So much for the competition.

Ethan is pleased with the Hardys’ decision.

Here’s Dixie for the big announcement about Jarrett being in charge going forward. She says the best times in this company’s history have been when two people are working together on top. Jeff is invited to the ring and thanks Dixie for that surprise phone call a month or so ago. They have something special going with this partnership and Dixie believes they’re unstoppable when they work together. Sweet goodness have you looked into being stopped? This brings out Drew Galloway with news as we go to a break.

Back with Drew going on about the dark cloud of the attacks over TNA. After praising Jeff, Drew thinks it’s weird that there are no clues, but he put his criminology degree to use (that’s a cool idea for a change) and said there’s only one clue: the license plates of the getaway cars. And what do you know: they’re both registered to Jeff Jarrett. You know, the guy he was praising a minute ago.

Jeff says no way but here’s Karen Jarrett to say she did it for her husband, her family and for GFW. She says one little spark can cause a giant inferno. With that, Jeff kicks Drew low and here are the GFW guys to beat Galloway down. Some TNA midcarders run out for an attempt at a save but get beaten down as well. The Wolves take a beating too and GFW poses to end the show. Good night this felt lame. Like wow, JEFF JARRETT turning his back on someone? Who would have seen that coming? And Chris Masters and Justin Gabriel as top villains? This really is the best they can do too, and that’s pathetic.

Overall Rating: C-. Yeah fine. The wrestling was watchable here but there’s so little here as far as storylines go. Jeff Jarrett as the big bad is supposed to be the major story? Another Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III match? I know their TV is running out, but they’re not exactly lighting the world on fire to make me want to see more. The show was decent enough this week, but it’s nothing worth seeing, as is almost always the case around here. By the way, that last segment: longer than any match tonight.

Results

Eric Young b. Chris Melendez – Rollup with feet on the ropes

Tigre Uno b. DJZ and Sonjay Dutt – Springboard splash to DJZ

Wolves b. Manik/Abyss – Powerbomb/backstabber combo to Manik

Brooke b. Velvet Sky via DQ when the Dollhouse interfered

Bobby Roode b. James Storm, Lashley and Mr. Anderson – Roode Bomb to Storm

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling – July 29, 2015: Oh Shut Up Already

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 29, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

The big story coming out of last week is Matt Hardy earning the #1 contendership in a tables match over Bobby Roode. This was the result of the night’s main story being thrown out due to the Hernandez issue, which is likely going to cause even more problems tonight. Other than changing things up though, we do get Jeff Jarrett’s Hall of Fame induction. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s major events, including Jeff Jarrett being announced as the next Hall of Fame inductee, Serena being announced as James Storm’s partner and Matt Hardy becoming #1 contender.

Here’s Austin Aries with something to say. Aries may not have a title right now, but politics and backstage issues aside, there is no one on the face of this planet who is better than he is. Therefore, why wasn’t he involved in the #1 contenders match last week? Bully Ray may be in charge but he’s already off to a bad start with mistakes like that.

Cue Bully Ray, who says his opinion is the only one that matters. Sure Aries is great. He’s so great that he even beat Bully himself at one point. Aries is going to get another shot at what he deserves. Austin interprets that as a World Title shot but Ray says Aries already lost that chance. In that case, Aries will settle for a Tag Team Title shot with Bobby Roode. That’s a no as well, so Aries can challenge for the X-Division Title later tonight.

Aries isn’t happy because that title is beneath him. The X-Division Title is for people like Rockstar Spud, who comes out in objection. Spud is a big Aries fan, but a statement like he just made hurts. Option C gave people like Spud a chance to be World Heavyweight Champion because it gave them a reason to believe in themselves. Austin laughs this off because Option C was made for people like himself, not Rockstar Spud.

Yeah Angle beat him once, but that would only happen one out of ten times. Spud on the other hand would lost to him every time. Since Aries has nothing to do tonight, why doesn’t he beat Spud up instead? Spud thinks he can beat Aries instead of just hanging with him, which makes Aries say he’ll leave if he loses tonight. Ray accepts that as a contract and the match is on for later tonight. Aries agrees, but wants the Rockstar moniker if he wins.

The Jarretts are here.

Chris Melendez tells Kurt Angle that he has to beat Eric Young to move forward in his career.

Sgt. Chris Melendez vs. Eric Young

Angle is out with Chris. Before the match, Melendez says he’ll keep fighting no matter what, just like he did overseas. Young comes out and says Melendez doesn’t want him coming in there because it will end badly for him. The bell rings and Eric slaps him in the back of the head a few times as we’re suddenly told Aries vs. Spud is next week at No Surrender. Is there even a point to having specials when they’re the same shows we get every week? Young stays on him and drives some elbows into the back of the head before a quick piledriver is good for the pin 3:12. Well that was a waste of time.

Rating: D. TNA, I know Melendez is a cool story, but there is nothing interesting about him. He’s nothing special in the ring, he’s nothing special on the mic and his one legged gimmick is long past its expiration date. What is there about him that is supposed to interest me? Nothing to see here and I have a feeling it’s going to keep going.

Sting Hall of Fame video.

Matt Hardy doesn’t know what stipulation he’s picking for his title match against Ethan Carter III. “We will announce the stipulation later.” JB wants to know who the other half of we is, even though it was already announced next week.

Knockouts Title: Brooke vs. Marti Bell

Brooke is defending yeah this is just the token title defense against the former champion’s lackey. The champ cleans house to start but goes after Taryn (in a tutu), allowing Marti to get in a cheap shot to take over. Brooke comes back with a quick shot to the face for two, only to have a kick to the jaw change control back to Marti. A superplex is broken up though and Brooke nails a middle rope clothesline. Brooke gets two off a Russian legsweep but the Dollhouse tries to interfere, only to have Gail Kim…..play her entrance video for a distraction, allowing Brooke to hit the Butterface Maker on Marti to retain at 4:40.

Rating: D. I’m so sick of this division. They had something interesting in the Dollhouse but they take the title off Taryn for the sake of pushing Brooke, who is there for one thing and one thing only. Oh and we get Gail Kim being all serious because what else is she supposed to do? Lame match too.

Kurt Angle Hall of Fame video.

More from Tigre Uno in Tijuana, this time talking about what TNA has done for his family. He loves lucha libre and thinks it’s better than anything in the world. These aren’t exactly thrilling statements.

Tigre Uno calls Donald Trump a coward.

Ethan Carter III isn’t worried about what stipulation Matt picks.

Here are Carter and Tyrus for Matt’s announcement. Remember when World Title matches were just wrestling matches? After saying Bully sucks eggs, Carter rips on the Hardys for being a couple of North Carolina hillbillies. If this was against Jeff Hardy then maybe Ethan would be worried but Jeff broke his leg on a motocross bike. Ethan says Matt isn’t a World Title contender so here’s Jeff to object.

Jeff admits that he cried from the pain of his broken leg but he conquers fears. Before Carter knows it he’ll be dropping titanium shins on Ethan’s face. Before Carter knows it, Jeff will be the next World Champion. It’s nice to see Jeff admitting that his brother has no chance. This brings out Matt who draws a NEXT WORLD CHAMP chant.

Matt talks about the Hardys being told they can’t do it and always proving people wrong. It’s not a competition between the brothers to see who is best, which is why Jeff is supporting him this week. Jeff gets to make the announcement but instead of saying anything, he asks Matt to pull some stuff out from under the ring. Matt pulls out a table, a chair and a ladder because WHAT ELSE WOULD THE HARDYS PICK??? In case it’s not clear, next week is Full Metal Mayhem. On top of that, no one is allowed at ringside during the match. This took WAY too much time for the only possible conclusion.

Team 3D Hall of Fame video.

Magnus and Mickie James are ready for James Storm and Serena.

James Storm/Serena vs. Mickie James/Magnus

This is a result of Storm being a psycho who tried to get Mickie in the ring for one last match as a way to get inside her head and make her join the Revolution. The guys officially get things going with Magnus in control until Storm gets in a knee from the apron. Storm slaps on a chinlock and we take a break.

Back with Mickie chasing Serena around, only to allow Storm to plant Magnus with a Backstabber. Storm throws his sweat on Mickie and puts Magnus in a quickly broken chinlock. Magnus can’t get anything going though as he charges into Closing Time (Codebreaker) to keep him in trouble. Josh thinks it’s a gutbuster for reasons not entirely clear.

Both guys try cross bodies and it’s off to the girls with Mickie cleaning house. Everything breaks down and Storm goes after Mickie, only to get speared down for his efforts. Serena calls out Khoya, who hits Storm with the stick by mistake. Magnus adds a powerslam to Storm and the MickieDT ends Serena at 12:15.

Rating: D+. I don’t know if it’s been the boring show that led up to it but MY GOODNESS I did not care about this match. Serena could have been any warm body out there and she didn’t add much to the match. It doesn’t help that this feud basically ended a few weeks back but they dragged them out there one more time for the “blowoff”, which really didn’t do anything. Boring match which was mainly about the men while trying to be about the women.

Storm gets a MickieDT for good measure.

Mr. Anderson is worried about facing Bram because of the depths he’ll have to sink to.

Bram suggests Anderson kiss his kids goodnight and tell them goodbye because he isn’t going home.

We run down the No Surrender card.

Video on Jeff Jarrett’s career. I do get a good chuckle of TNA trying to make Jarrett seem like someone on Rock and Austin’s level, especially after they spent so much time ripping on him over the years.

Here’s Dixie Carter to induct Jarrett into the Hall of Fame. She tells a story of meeting Jeff when she lived in Tennessee and compares him to George Bailey from It’s A Wonderful Life. Dixie welcomes the Jarretts to the ring and after a break, it’s time to hear from Jeff. Jeff thanks everyone who has ever bought something from TNA and everyone who has ever worked for TNA. He leaves off people who have done work for them but haven’t actually gotten paid but I’m sure they’re included too.

Jeff lists off a bunch of production guys and office workers in what felt like something special. Mike Tenay gets thanked for holding things in place when they fell apart at times. “Don West not so much.” Then you have the X-Division, Knockouts and tag teams who all work so hard and prove that it can be more than just heavyweights main eventing. The heavyweights get a thank you as well, including AJ Styles.

Jarrett talks about a falling out with his dad (a legendary promoter in his own right) over this company but thanks him so much for getting him here. His children are the reason he’s here and even though they drive him crazy, they keep him going. Last but not least in family is Jeff’s wife Karen, who has been Jeff’s rock. A quick thank you to the fans leads to a THANK YOU JEFF chant and the roster (like 15 people) come out to applaud as the show ends. This was a nice ceremony and speech, but it felt really rushed because of the lack of time.

Overall Rating: F+. This was awful. With under twenty minutes combined of actual wrestling (if you count the commercial in the tag as ring time they crack it by less than ten seconds) and a bunch of last second building to a “special” that was announced tonight, what was the point of this show? To show that Jarrett is still a big deal? They did that already with all the packages and Slammiversary main event.

This show felt like it went on forever and built up nothing interesting. No Surrender feels like a show that is there to pop a rating, which TNA has kind of almost sort of done what, once or twice ever? I really didn’t care for this show and I didn’t want to sit through the rest of it, but that’s all we get these days in TNA. The wheels are falling off and the TV is getting worse and worse every single week. GFW getting here is supposed to be their saving grace, but TNA is barely worth saving at this point.

Results

Eric Young b. Sgt. Chris Melendez – Piledriver

Brooke b. Marti Belle – Butterface Maker

Mickie James/Magnus b. James Storm/Serena – MickieDT to Serena

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – July 22, 2015: TNA’s Epithet

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 22, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We have a boss to counter the Reign of Carter now as Bully Ray was appointed the new man in charge last week. That leaves us in need of a new challenger as Kurt Angle is on the shelf, meaning we might be getting someone new in the main event scene. Other than that though, we have the fallout of Eli Drake turning on his former Rising teammate, Drew Galloway, after costing him the World Title last week. Let’s get to it.

We open with the announcement of the newest inductee into the TNA Hall of Fame. In the biggest surprise of all time, it’s Jeff Jarrett. The video treats him like a demigod but at least it’s a name that belongs in the Hall of Fame.

Tonight we’ll be seeing the King of the Mountain match from Slammiversary, likely due to the Hernandez issue.

Bram vs. Magnus

This is a street fight joined in progress with Magnus chopping away. A superplex plants Bram again and Magnus boots him in the face. This has been one sided so far. Bram finally gets an opening as Magnus goes for weapons, allowing Bram to score with a cookie sheet shot to the head. Magnus comes back with some weapon shots of his own but the referee gets bumped, meaning the Spine Shaker only gets a close two. Bram hits Magnus low and grabs a rollup for the pin at 6:37, likely writing Magnus off TV.

Rating: C-. Well there’s a gimmick match for the sake of having a gimmick match, which is one of the last things you want to see in a wrestling company. At least there’s a backstory between these guys, but it’s been a good while since they were even feuding. Not a bad brawl, but I don’t know why it happened.

Post match James Storm comes out and tells Magnus that the partner is revealed tonight.

Here’s Eli Drake with his crutch. Drake keeps saying his name slowly so we all get it as he starts talking about finally being allowed to stand out here alone. Drew finally got Drake’s foot in the door here and Eli was grateful, but Drew would NEVER SHUT UP about the Rising. You had Mica nodding his head like the puppet he was but Drew kept trying to do the talking for him.

The fans might have been stunned at what he did, but they’re all like him. Everyone here has called in to work sick when they were fine. Everyone here has friends just because those people can get them things. There are women here who are with men justbecause they can pay their bills. Galloway will never be TNA Champion because Drake won’t let him, so here’s Drew to interrupt.

Drew talks about people thinking he’s older than he really is (he turned 30 last month) because he’s been around the world so many times. He’s been talking to the fans about what they want him to do, and the results are clear. The fight is on with Drake missing a crutch swing but taking Drew down with elbows to the back of the head. The Future Shock sends Eli running to the floor and they’ll fight another day. Drake has a very basic character but he plays it well and sounds confident. I dug what I saw here and hopefully he can back up the good presence in the ring.

Taryn Terrell interrupts a Pit Wars (Destination America show) plug by shoving over a grill and demanding her title back. The six sides of steel has been lowered and the Dollhouse gets inside. Taryn screeches a lot until Brooke comes out and says Taryn did all of this to herself. The fans are all that matters in this company and Taryn can’t stand when they chant for her. Brooke makes fun of the screaming and says Taryn must be mad at herself. Taryn goes after her but here’s Gail Kim in the cage to beat up Marti and Jade. Gail beats them up and stares at Taryn and that’s about it.

From Slammiversary 2015 (the full version instead of the clipped one):

King of the Mountain Title: Drew Galloway vs. Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode vs. Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Jarrett

It’s the old Legends/TV/Global Title with a new plate. The rules here aren’t exactly simple. You win by climbing the ladder and hanging the title, but in order to do that you have to earn a fall to be qualified with falls counting anywhere. Whoever is pinned must go to a penalty box for two minutes. We get big match intros with JB saying Drew is standing in the corner to his left. He’s kneeling but close enough. Jarrett is introduced by his old nickname: the King of the Mountain.

Jarrett stands back as everyone brawls to start. It’s Roode going after Jarrett first but eating a backdrop, followed by Young taking a beating as well. Jarrett goes for a strut but Roode rolls him up for a pin to become eligible and to send Jarrett to the penalty box for two minutes. Matt Side Effects Roode for two as Jarrett escapes….only to be covered by Young to become eligible. Everyone brawls inside and get sent into the ladder until Jarrett gets out.

Young hits Jarrett low but gets rolled up by Galloway for a pin. Matt hits a Twist of Fate for a pin on Roode at the same time, sending both Young and Roode to the box at the same time. Only Jarrett is unqualified at this point. Hardy and Galloway fight on the ladder (yeah remember the whole ladder part of this match?) but Jeff shoves them both down and Strokes Galloway for two with Hardy making the save.

Jeff covers Matt for two more as Young and Roode are making a pact in the box. Both guys get out and clean house before stopping to sing O Canada as we flash back ten years. Young tries to turn on Roode and gets Cactus Clotheslined out to the floor. Galloway and Hardy go to the ropes but get powerbombed down by Jarrett, only to have Roode and Young steal pins to keep Jarrett ineligible. It’s a three way fight now with Young vs. Roode vs. Jarrett with Eric getting the best of it and grabbing a guitar, only to have Jeff take it away and knock Bobby silly to become eligible.

Galloway and Hardy get out and fight over possession of the belt but knock each other down, leaving Jarrett to climb up. Young pulls him down with a powerbomb and a piledriver onto a ladder, followed by Roode coming out of the box. Galloway climbs on top of the cage for a big flip dive to put all five guys down. It’s Drew climbing again and Matt pulling him down again. Just to keep up the idea of the match of course. Roode stops Hardy and goes up but Young makes the save with another ladder. Jarrett and Young go up with Jeff hitting a Stroke off the ladders, allowing him to hang the title for the win at 20:56.

Rating: D+. So in case you don’t get it, here’s the story: TNA is freaking out that an invader (who they invited) is going to take a title that they just invented to another company which they basically advertise for free on their TV show. Oh and Jarrett is a face because he’s a legend in TNA and therefore the announcers panicking really doesn’t fit with what’s going on. The match was your standard King of the Mountain mess with the most obvious winner in the history of obvious winners.

Counting commercials, this ate up about 35 minutes of the show.

And now, a word from Tigre Uno to Donald Trump. Tigre talks about how awesome Mexico is and doesn’t like what Trump said. Trump is challenged to come to the Impact Zone next week to end a quick fluff piece.

We recap Mickie James and Magnus challenging James Storm to find a woman to face the two of them.

Here’s the Revolution to introduce the newest member of the team. Storm rants about how screwed up this country is and talks about trying to give Mickie as many chances as he could. The newest member of the Revolution is…..Serena, as in Serena Deeb. Serena talks about how she and Mickie used to be best friends, but then Mickie James became a star and left her behind. Serena was lost until she found James Storm, and now things are better than ever. Storm talks to the camera with a message for Mickie and Magnus’ son Donovan, telling him that this is the biggest mistake his parents ever made.

Eric Young vs. Rockstar Spud

Chain match, for reasons not clear. Young dominates to start and beats Spud with the chain before taking him outside for some whips into the barricade with the chain. Back in and more chain shots get two but Spud low blows Eric with the chain to take over. Spud goes after Eric in the corner but Young pulls the referee in the way, setting up a quick piledriver to pin Spud at 5:48.

Rating: D. There was no reason for this to be a chain match but at least they kept it short. Young being violent is far more acceptable than just calling him crazy over and over again, which was my major problem with his former character. Spud needs something better than this and hopefully that comes soon.

Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Roode

Tables match for the #1 contendership. They quickly fight to the floor with Roode nailing a suplex onto the stairs. It’s already table time, but Roode just drops it onto Hardy instead of trying to put Hardy through it. Back in and Roode plants him with a spinebuster and chokes with the table legs, only to have Matt make a quick comeback. The moonsault through the table is broken up but neither guy can hit a finisher. Instead Matt backdrops him over the top and through the table for the win at 6:55.

Rating: D+. This was another short gimmick match that didn’t work very well due to the time they had to work with. What can you really do with a tables match in less than seven minutes? Matt and Roode barely have any reason to fight each other but hat’s what we get because of the whole Hernandez debacle. What does that have to do with this match? Well I’m glad you asked. You did ask didn’t you?

Overall Rating: D-. So here’s the thing: from what I can find, Bully Ray had announced the three gimmick matches you saw as a series to find four potential #1 contenders. That word “four” is the magic one here though, because Hernandez was involved in this original idea. My guess is that they had to cut the whole idea and ignore any reference to it to make sure Hernandez is never mentioned because, you know, TNA is stupid.

In other words, we’re stuck with two random gimmick matches and a WAY too long pay per view match before getting to a random #1 contenders match to end the show. Bad show, but again it’s due to the company’s management instead of the wrestlers themselves. That should be the company’s epithet: the company screwed up, not the wrestlers.

Results

Bram b. Magnus – Low blow

Eric Young b. Rockstar Spud – Piledriver

Matt Hardy b. Bobby Roode – Backdrop through a table

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling – July 15, 2015: The Champ Has A Point

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 15, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

There isn’t much to go off from last week, but the big story is the reveal of the new authority figure, hand picked by Dixie Carter to keep her nephew and World Champion Ethan Carter III in line from letting all the power going to his head. Something tells me this won’t be the most thrilling announcement (because there isn’t a thrilling announcement out there) but maybe it’s better than I’m expecting. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap focuses on Ethan defending his title three times last week, followed by Dixie coming out and saying she doesn’t want the power to go to his head like it went to hers, because the segment was all about Dixie.

Dixie is in the ring to start things off with the roster on the outside. At least I don’t have to hear that stupid song all the way through again. She takes responsibility for the actions that led to her being put through a table last year and she’s sorry for what happened. It was a good thing when she went through a table and broke her back because it gave her a new perspective.

Dixie appreciates what the people in the ring go through and she’s sorry for everything she’s done. It’s time for a new chapter in TNA and she needs them to be a team. This feels more and more like a speech when there’s bad news than a promo. Ethan and Tyrus come out to protest but Dixie introduces Bully Ray as the new authority figure. Yeah that guy who tried to put your company out of business and the man who screwed you over at Lockdown a year and a half ago is a GREAT pick for your new boss. That’s of course forgetting the whole driving her through a table and breaking her back part.

Ray shakes everyone’s hand and starts talking about getting a call from Dixie, where she apologized for everything and said she wanted to do it right. Bully says he understood what she said and believed it, so today he’s back in front of real wrestling fans and the best wrestlers in the world. However, he’s back for the people around the ring, who he wants up on the apron right now.

Every single one of them is here to make this the best show around, no matter what Dixie has done to them. So that brings Bully to a decision, but it’s going to be the fans making the decision. The fans agree, so Ray thinks we should have a battle royal for the #1 contendership, which starts now.

So yeah, this was all about Dixie. I have no idea why I would want to care about her big redemption story, but this boils down to one thing: Dixie doesn’t seem to be a regular character again and that’s a good thing. Ignoring the lack of logic or proper storytelling and another heel champion vs. face authority figure story, and you have something good coming out of this. The promos were acceptable enough, but this isn’t going to set the world on fire, which is so often the case in TNA.

Battle Royal

Abyss, Austin Aries, Bram, Chris Melendez, Crazzy Steve, Drew Galloway, Eric Young, Hernandez, James Storm, Jesse Godderz, Kenny King, Khoya, Magnus, Mandrews, Manik, Mica, MVP, Norv Fernum, Robbie E., Shark Boy

This is joined in progress after the break and the winner gets a World Title shot tonight. Storm hides on the apron as Fernum is eliminated. Steve is put out as well with Mandrews quickly following him to the floor. There goes Shark Boy with Manik following. There isn’t much to talk about here, just like in most battle royals.

Magnus clotheslines Abyss out to almost no reaction, meaning Josh can plug the season finale of Barbecue Pit Masters. Melendez is out as the ring is clearing out a bit. Storm and Magnus are put out as we take a break. The lack of caring about two former World Champions being eliminated is striking.

We take a break and come back with only MVP, Galloway and Young remaining, meaning about twelve people were eliminated during the break. Drew gets double teamed for a bit until Young gets smart by eliminating MVP from behind. Eric loads up the piledriver but Drew reverses and kicks him in the chest for the win at 11:00. Josh: “Is Drew Galloway just one win away from being World Heavyweight Champion?” Well that’s how being #1 contender normally works.

Rating: F. Over half of the eliminations were during the break, which is almost guaranteed to be due to the Hernandez issue. The match was another boring battle royal anyway with very little of interest, but a lot of that was due to the people being thrown out off camera. Galloway winning is interesting though and should make him a main event guy, but instead it’s likely going to be a one off match on a one off show because TNA has made their new star for now with Carter.

Sting Hall of Fame video. This year’s inductee is announced next week.

Mr. Anderson talks about being 39 and not needing to risk an injury at the hands of someone like Bram, who doesn’t even care about his own well being. Anderson knows he can get to the dark places Bram likes to stay, but he doesn’t know if he wants to. This was more emotion than Anderson has shown in a long time and I liked it.

A depressed Rockstar Spud comes up to Bully in the back and isn’t sure what to do now. Ray asks him if he’s depressed about losing to Kurt Angle. Ray: “WE’VE ALL LOST TO KURT ANGLE!” Spud gets an X-Division Title shot in five minutes and Ray gets an unwanted hug.

Kurt Angle Hall of Fame video.

Eli Drake congratulates Drew on winning the battle royal. And of course Drake would never stab him in the back and cost him the shot right?

Before the X-Division Title match, here are some comments from Donald Trump on Mexicans, which Tigre Uno will respond to next week.

X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. DJZ vs. Rockstar Spud vs. Grado

Tigre is defending in yet another multi-man title match. I can barely remember the last one on one title shot for the belt. Grado uses the power of fat to control early on, prompting him to try to start a BELLY chant. No one can lift Grado either but he finally misses a backsplash so everyone can dropkick him down. That goes nowhere as Grado gets back up and hooks a neckbreaker for two on the champ. This isn’t the most interesting match in the world so far and it’s showing badly.

Grado and Spud take turns punching DJZ in the head but Grado keeps spending too much time winding up before finally elbowing him down. The two of them start fighting until Tigre springboards in with a dropkick, followed by one of the worst misses I’ve ever seen as Tigre’s Phoenix splash barely grazes Grado’s leg (he held his knee) but still gets the pin to retain at 4:05.

Rating: D. So let’s see: Grado is a fat guy who isn’t all that fat and does at least have charisma, has a gimmick that no one can slam him but he has a cult following. That leaves DJZ and Spud who are just kind of there, plus Tigre who had a horribly missed splash to end this wreck. No story, no real characters and no real reason for this to be happening. Well done TNA: you’ve killed what made people care about you.

Taryn promises to beat Brooke tonight as only the Dollhouse can.

Knockouts Title: Taryn Terrell vs. Brooke

Taryn is defending and chokes in the corner to start as Dinero thinks Terrell is the better Knockout because of her attire, despite it pretty much being the same as Brooke’s. Brooke comes back with a forearm but the Dollhouse pulls her to the floor for a beating. Another comeback is stopped with an elbow in the jaw, followed by another Dollhouse distraction to keep the champ in control.

A high cross body gets a pair of twos on Brooke. Taryn misses what looked to be a middle rope dropkick, allowing Brooke to make her third comeback in about six minutes. Some forearms connect but the Dollhouse interferes AGAIN to stop another comeback. There go the lights and here’s Gail Kim to run interference, allowing Brooke to hit a horribly botched Butterface Maker for the pin and the title at 7:35.

Rating: D-. After hearing Josh talk about the longest reign ever and all that jazz, it’s the female Billy Gunn getting the title? Brooke is one of the worst possible options for the title, but it’s becoming clearer and clearer that the division needs some fresh blood. Why is that always the case and why is it always the same batch fighting over the title?

Kurt Angle has given Bully Ray a great idea.

Here’s Angle to praise Ethan Carter III for being as talented as he is. Angle has no problem with the loss, but he has a problem with the way he lost the rematch. That’s why Angle went to Bully Ray with an idea: the rematch never took place, meaning there’s another rematch. However, that’s not going to be anytime soon because Angle has a tumor in his neck and is going to be out for a while.

Angle is ready to go but here’s Eric Young to interrupt. Young takes credit for the neck injury because of all the piledrivers over the last few weeks. Eric wants to be the one to put Angle out and goes all angry with some punches to trigger a brawl. Chris Melendez makes the save to break up a piledriver on the floor, only to take it himself instead. Josh is AGHAST that a Canadian doesn’t care about an American war hero.

Team 3D Hall of Fame video.

Due to Hernandez having to be edited out, here’s TNA’s replacement, from Slammiversary 2015. The clipped version airs here but this is the full review.

James Storm vs. Magnus

Unsanctioned so anything goes. They slug it out at ringside to start before heading into the crowd with Magnus taking over. Storm slams him through a table of food and grabs a beer bottle but stops to spit on the announcers, allowing Magnus to come back with right hands. They get back inside with a table being set up but Storm hits him low.

Magnus doesn’t seem to mind as he catapults Storm’s face into the bottom of the table for a unique spot. It’s off to the back of the arena again as a production guy repeatedly tells them that there’s high voltage back there. Magnus is thrown into a box and the video screen goes to a test pattern. That goes nowhere so they head back to the ring with the Eye of the Storm being countered into a powerbomb through the table for two.

Storm comes back with an Orton hanging DDT but stops to set up another table on the floor. Instead of putting Magnus through the table though, Storm yells at Earl Hebner, allowing Magnus to make a comeback. Magnus misses a top rope elbow through the table and crashes onto the concrete. That’s only good for two of course so Storm pulls out some powder.

Magnus comes back for like the tenth time but the powder goes into Earl’s eyes, meaning there’s no count off the Spine Shaker. Instead the Last Call gets two so it’s cowbell time, but Magnus hits another Spine Shaker for two. END THIS ALREADY! Now the cowbell connects and another Last Call gets another two.

Storm sets up two chairs with a piece of barricade bridged between. Magnus superplexes him through the barricade and, say it with me, it gets two. Both guys get bottles and connect at the same time with Storm falling on top for the pin (despite Magnus being on the barricade and therefore his shoulders not being on the mat) at 16:38.

Rating: C+. The match was trying but they went WAY too far and long out there as it was almost a copy of the Rusev vs. Cena match at Payback. Yeah they beat each other up a lot but I lost interest about halfway through. This felt like it was about four matches packed into one, but at least it was a fun brawl. The start was pretty lame though as they were just kind of walking around and trying to figure out what to do.

We see Storm’s promo on Magnus from after Slammiversary where Storm said he could find a woman to stand beside him against Mickie and Magnus.

Storm says there’s always room for one more in the Revolution. The partner will be someone very, very close to Mickie. Whoever it is calls Storm and he walks off to talk to her.

Carter and Tyrus come to see Ray (Ray: “I’ve got to get a door.”) because Ethan fought three times last week. Therefore, shouldn’t we postpone the match with Galloway for another week? Ray loves the input but shoots it down in less than a second. Carter needs to start acting like a champion.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Drew Galloway

Carter is defending of course. Feeling out process to start with Drew hitting a shoulder for little advantage. Some chops have Carter in a bit more trouble and chops against the barricade make it even worse. Cue the Tyrus interference though, drawing out Eli Drake (still on crutches) to even things up as we take a break.

Back with the champ in control and slapping on a chinlock. Carter’s chest is blood red from those chops. Drew fights up so Ethan grabs a front facelock but trips Drew’s leg for something like a reverse DDT. Not the most effective looking move in the world but at least it was different. A slap to the face just fires Drew up though and a top rope clothesline gets two. There’s a powerslam for the same with Drake cutting Tyrus off from making the save.

White Noise gets two more but this time Tyrus is able to get Carter onto the ropes. Back up and Galloway no sells some chops, only to have his elbow hit the referee in the face. Carter hits him low but here’s Drake to turn on Galloway anyway. Totally shocking swerve of course. Drake leaves and the 1%er retains the title at 14:20.

Rating: D+. Not bad but it’s clear that Carter can only do so much in the ring. That being said, it fits his character perfectly as he’s getting close to channeling the Honky Tonk Man mantra of “sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good.” The match wasn’t horrible but as Carter said earlier: if this is supposed to be a big match, shouldn’t there be more than about an hour and a half to build it up?

Overall Rating: D. This was one of their weaker episodes in a long time. Between the two horribly botched endings and the Slammiversary match eating up a lot of time, there really wasn’t anything to see here. Drew vs. Ethan could have been something interesting but instead it’s a one off match on a nothing show to set up Galloway vs. Drake, which should at least be entertaining. This really didn’t work with lame wrestling and very little set up for the future outside of Ray as the new authority figure. It could have been a lot worse, but this was a bad show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Slammiversary 2015: It’s Sad Really

Slammiversary 2015
Date: June 28, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero, Mike Tenay

This should be an interesting one as the company has already taped the next month’s worth of TV before this show, but at the same time there’s some interesting stuff going on here too. The main event (in theory) is the King of the Mountain match with Jeff Jarrett returning for one more match (allegedly). Let’s get to it.

We open with the highlight package over the years. Of course this means mainly focusing on Sting, Hogan and Angle.

X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Manik vs. Tigre Uno

Tigre is defending in an elimination match with Tigre starting fast until he sends everyone to the floor for a big dive. Back in and Manik slams the champ down and we hit a chinlock, basically defeating the purpose of the entire division. DJZ tries to break up a springboard and eats a dropkick to the face for his efforts. Serves him right. Back in and Manik knees DJZ in the face because he’s still not over that broken springboard.

Manik suplexes the champ down but it’s DJZ coming back in with some nice flips and a wristdrag/headscissors combo to take both guys down. A running double knee puts all three guys down and Dinero drops a Contra Code reference. It’s DJZ up first with a modified Tower of Doom as he hits a Sliced Bread off an electric chair, only to have Tigre nail him in the face and hit a twisting split legged moonsault for the elimination at 9:45. Pope referred to it as a move that is difficult to describe.

The champ misses a top rope stomp but gets his knees up to block a splash. His rollup gets two and Manik hits a nice twisting chest buster, followed by a frog splash for two. There’s nothing going on between these spots. Back up and Tigre mostly misses a corkscrew moonsault but it’s enough to put Manik away and retain the title at 12:09.

Rating: C. This was the spotiest spotfest that I’ve seen since…..well since the last Ring of Honor show I saw. Again, there’s no story or reason to have this match other than to say “hey here’s an X-Division Title match”. Tigre is fine as a high flying champion, but they need a story to give us a reason to care about the guy.

Robbie E. says tonight is serious. He’s been here five years (not quite) and it’s time to stop the dancing and being a goof.

We recap the BroMans’ split, which is all about Jesse claiming that it was his work that made the team a success.

Robbie E. vs. Jesse Godderz

Jesse is officially “The Man”. Before the match they keep up the stalling with Jesse bragging about his success as the fans let him know that they don’t care. Robbie, with new music, cuts him off and beats Jesse up at ringside before doing the same inside. A big backdrop sets up a dive onto Jesse as this is all E. so far.

Godderz finally hits a powerslam on the floor but can’t get Robbie up for what looked like a gutwrench suplex. Instead a backbreaker gets two and we hit the bearhug on Robbie. That goes as far as a bearhug is going to go in 2015 and Robbie comes back with a middle rope cross body.

E. wins a slugout but gets caught in a buckle bomb, only to have a double clothesline put both guys down. This time Jesse’s regular powerbomb gets two and the Adonis Lock (Boston crab) goes on, only to have Robbie make the ropes without too much effort. Robbie comes right back with a reverse DDT for a quick pin at 11:18.

Rating: C-. The match was decent enough with Jesse working on the back and then they just went to the finish out of nowhere. Jesse’s push is now a big waste but at least they’re giving someone young like Robbie a nice push. Now to be fair I can’t imagine them doing anything with it and there’s probably going to be a rematch, which is actually match #5, but this wasn’t the most interesting thing in the world. Technically fine, but the story is nothing all that entertaining.

Matt Hardy says he’ll win tonight.

Bram vs. Matt Morgan

Morgan returned as a surprise on Wednesday. Before the match, Matt wants it to be a street fight and Bram is all like “Okey dokey”, but with a British accent. Morgan runs him over to start and they head to the floor to actually make it a fight. Bram comes back with his big metal hook to take over, followed by some trashcan shots to the head. Back in as this match is clearly just more filler.

Morgan calls for a chokeslam but opts to Carbon Footprint a trashcan into Bram’s face. The big man can’t follow up though so Bram goes around the ring to look for a special weapon. He FINALLY picks a few chairs but gets chokeslammed onto one of them for two. That’s it for Morgan though as the Brighter Side of Suffering onto the chair gives Bram the pin at 9:30.

Rating: D+. Well at least they didn’t job Bram. I guess the blueprint part is just physical because this would be REALLY STUPID for Morgan to pick as a stipulation. The match was your standard hardcore brawl as this show continues to feel like a house show that they taped and aired here. Morgan looked fine but I don’t expect him to be back longer than maybe one more appearance at most. Nothing special here, as usual tonight.

Ethan Carter III and Tyrus don’t like JB correcting them. They try to rip his hair off but it’s real. This was basically just a plug for Wednesday’s World Title match.

Austin Aries vs. Davey Richards

The winner gets to pick the stipulation for the fifth match in the Tag Team Title series. Aries takes him down to start but then runs to the corner to hide. They trade some standing switches until Aries bails to the floor to avoid a kick to the head. Back in and Aries plants him with an STO of all things but won’t use the Pendulum Elbow.

A wristlock doesn’t get Aries anywhere as Davey dropkicks him out to the floor for some more stalling. Richards wins a chase and hammers him against the barricade but Austin comes back with a shot of his own, setting up a top rope ax handle to take over. Back in and the slingshot hilo gets two for Austin, followed by a handspring elbow for the same. Some kicks to the chest make Davey growl a bit, allowing him to come back with a kick to the chest and a German suplex.

Aries seems to be looking for a tag, because a guy who has primarily wrestled as a singles guy for years and recently reformed a tag team can’t remember how a one on one match works. Aries takes him to the floor for a big dive and nails a missile dropkick, setting up the Last Chancery.

As usual it doesn’t work (it rarely did when he was a face either) but the brainbuster doesn’t either with Davey countering into a falcon’s arrow for two. They slug it out until Davey throws him into the air for a kick to the chest, followed by the top rope double stomp (to the arm) for two more. Cue Bobby Roode and Eddie Edwards for a distraction, allowing Aries to roll Davey up for the pin at 17:28.

Rating: B. That’s probably going to be the match of the night as we’re definitely in One Night Only territory here. This was a match that didn’t change a thing but at least was entertaining while it lasted. Everyone is trying on this show, but there’s only so much you can do to overcome the power of indifference.

The Dirty Heels pick a 30 minute Iron Man match. In case you hadn’t seen these teams fight enough yet.

Eric Young says he’ll win.

Dollhouse vs. Brooke/Awesome Kong

Before the match the Dollhouse says they’re better looking so they’ll win. Kong is in a full body outfit this time. Taryn chokes Kong to start but all three Dolls are sent into the corner for a big triple splash. They officially start with Jade having no luck against Kong with a Marti having to break up a cover off a splash. Brooke comes in off the hot tag and cleans house before things settle down with Marti taking over.

Back to Jade for a bearhug, which is in no way an excuse to get Brooke’s trunks to ride up. The referee misses a tag to Kong but it goes through a few seconds later, allowing Kong to destroy the Dollhouse (sans Taryn) just like she did before. Brooke clotheslines both of them down as Kong goes after Taryn, leaving Brooke to hit a top rope facebuster (the Butterface Maker. Just go with it) for the pin at 8:23.

Rating: D. No point to the match, basically no Taryn, and just a step above a squash. The Dollhouse is already crumbling but we can get like six years of the Beautiful People. At least it’s not Gail Kim doing her least interesting stuff again, because I don’t think I can handle another major push for her.

Magnus doesn’t hate James Storm even though he wants to. Tonight he has to believe that love is stronger than hate, even if he loves the way hate feels. The devil can’t catch him tonight because he’s already inside. Good line to end this. It makes little sense but good line. Also, you would think that the whole attempted murder thing might have fired Magnus up more.

Long recap of Magnus vs. Storm. Basically Storm was all friendly but was just trying to get Mickie James to join the Revolution but she turned him down so Storm tried to kill her by shoving her in front of a train. Now it’s time for a match.

James Storm vs. Magnus

Drew Galloway says he’ll win, just like the Rising this Wednesday in the final battle with the BDC. Another match that should have aired here.

The audio is screwed up because of the electrical stuff earlier on. Thankfully we’re treated to a long shot of the production crew cleaning up the debris from the previous match and then a shot of the announcers.

Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Mr. Anderson/Lashley

There’s no commentary and Anderson’s mic doesn’t work. It starts up again as Anderson and Carter start things off with Ethan being taken into the corner for a beating and a spear. Lashley can’t quite suplex him over the first time but Tyrus gets in a surprise chokeslam to take over. Tyrus comes in for some shots to the neck as Tenay talks about Anderson and Lashley feuding over the ECW and US Titles.

Anderson comes in with jabs as we’re treated to Pope talking about his time in OVW. His feud down there with Matt Morgan is the least interesting feud that I have ever seen so I wouldn’t brag much about it. Commentary keeps cutting out, leaving us to analyze Carter’s chinlock on Anderson with no guidance. Lashley comes in off the hot tag to clean house again with a running powerslam getting two on Carter. Anderson and Lashley slug away on Tyrus but he (mostly) suplexes them both down. Carter runs back in for the 1%er on Lashley for the pin at 10:12.

Rating: D. Standard Impact main event here but this show has already sucked all the life out of me so I couldn’t get into things. Carter winning is the only logical move here to help set up the title match on Wednesday, even though they already had him pin Lashley and Anderson. It’s almost like this match was thrown together with the best logic they could think and it still wasn’t enough.

The announcers preview King of the Mountain. Jarrett is treated as an invader.

Jarrett says he can’t believe he’s back here but wants to take this to a global level.

King of the Mountain Title: Drew Galloway vs. Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode vs. Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Jarrett

Overall Rating: D. That’s the worst part: the show wasn’t even that horrible. It’s in one of the worst categories possible though: the show that didn’t need to exist and underwhelmed. There were some good matches on here and the stories were actually current so it blows last year’s Bound For Glory out of the water, but my goodness this show felt like it was going on for days. It’s not a good show and it’s clear that this company is in complete free fall as they seem to have no idea what they’re supposed to do next.

I know the TV is taped for a month or so, but they really, really need to nail them because this show felt like the last time we’re going to see these guys. With a lot of these people leaving too, things are looking very, very bleak for TNA and they don’t really seem to notice. If Jarrett leaving with a freshly made midcard title for a promotion that has held about four shows is their big story, they’re in major, major trouble.

Results

Tigre Uno b. Manik and DJZ – Corkscrew moonsault to Manik

Robbie E. b. Jesse Godderz – Reverse DDT

Bram b. Matt Morgan – Brighter Side of Suffering onto a chair

Austin Aries b. Davey Richards – Rollup

James Storm b. Magnus – Beer bottle to the head

Tyrus/Ethan Carter III b. Lashley/Mr. Anderson – 1%er to Lashley

Jeff Jarrett b. Matt Hardy, Drew Galloway, Eric Young and Bobby Roode – Jarrett hung the title belt

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Slammiversary 2015 Preview

It’s another TNA pay per view and now, instead of being better than WWE’s offerings, the question is can they be better than One Night Only. It’s almost impossible to not beat Bound For Glory from last year, and at least there’s something borderline important on this show. Let’s get to it.

So this could be interesting as I’m not entirely sure what’s on the card in the first place.

We’ll start with the six man ladder match for the X-Division Title with new champion Tigre Uno defending against Rockstar Spud, Kenny King, Crazzy Steve, Manik and Mandrews. This is another example of the title meaning nothing as there are no feuds to be seen and it’s just throwing everyone out there for the sake of a big multi-man spot fest. It’s also telling that less than a week after the title changed hands, it’s already time for a fresh batch of opponents, despite Uno having no real connection to any of them. Tigre retains as he just got the belt earlier in the week.

I’ll take Davey over Aries to pick the stipulation for the final title match, because for some reason TNA thinks faces should pick stipulations in matches instead of heels, as common sense would suggest.

Matt Morgan will likely beat Bram via DQ or just cleanly because Bram is one of the biggest wastes in all of the company. This whole challenging anyone on the roster is really just a thing that he’s doing with no real upside. What good does it do him or anyone for that matter to have a bunch of one off matches? At least Morgan was successful in TNA. Kind of. In tag teams. Some of the time.

Ethan Carter III/Tyrus should beat Lashley and Anderson because there is zero logical reason for Anderson and Lashley to win given Carter’s upcoming title shot. Actually there’s no real reason for them to be teaming together other than they’re a pair of losers at the moment, but then again this is just another meaningless match.

Brooke and Kong over the Dollhouse in what should be another obvious ending. These are starting to worry me though as TNA is going to have to screw up something obvious sooner or later.

Jesse Godderz will beat Robbie E. because, again, there’s no logical reason for Robbie to go over. Godderz is getting a nice push as the new self obsessed heel, and having him lose to Robbie would be about the dumbest thing they could do here. Godderz won’t go very far with this character (his finisher is a Boston crab) but what they’re doing so far is working well.

Jeff Jarrett wins the King of the Mountain title. Yeah it’s now a title and the other participants are Matt Hardy, Eric Young, Drew Galloway and Bobby Roode. I love that they’re setting up a midcard title again, but their track record with these things kind of sucks. Well there’s no kind of to it actually. Maybe this will be different, assuming Jarrett actually sticks around.

Finally, James Storm over Magnus as this is probably continuing.

Overall, Slammiversary doesn’t look that bad. The card is WAY better than Bound For Glory looked last year as A, stuff actually matters here and B, I’ve heard of everyone on the card. I don’t think the show is going to mean anything other than being a long episode of Impact, but at least it could be entertaining. The build for this has barely existed because TNA can’t do something as simple as schedule things properly, but that’s the least of their problems right now. This show could be good, but it’s the most cautious optimism possible.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6