ECW On Sci Fi – March 25, 2008: End This Already

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: March 25, 2008
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s the final ECW before Wrestlemania and that means pretty much nothing around here. There is no title match set for Wrestlemania as it is going to be all about the battle royal. I’m not sure what that is going to leave us to do on this show but maybe they have one more week of nothing before things, at least hopefully, reset next week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes/Kofi Kingston/Kane/Tommy Dreamer/Jesse & Festus/Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore/Jim Duggan/Val Venis/Jamie Noble vs. Great Khali/Miz/Chuck Palumbo/Matt Striker/Mark Henry/Snitsky/Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Brian Kendrick/Deuce N Domino/Elijah Burke

Because THIS is a good idea. This is all twenty four entrants into the battle royal thrown into a tag match, which makes me wonder how many people the aprons can hold. Cody rolls Kendrick up for a fast two and then backslides him for the same. It’s quickly off to Noble vs. Palumbo, with the latter grabbing a belly to back suplex.

Yang comes in off some of that Jung Dragons chemistry but gets suplexed for his efforts. A middle rope hurricanrana gets Yang out of trouble and it’s time for a parade of dives. We take a break and come back with everything breaking down, as you might have expected. Kofi dives onto Deuce N Domino and Holly gets to hit an Alabama Slam. Khali and Kane have finally had enough of this and start wrecking people. With the two of them down, Henry feeds Dreamer into a big boot from Snitsky for the pin.

Rating: C. This is one of those matches that isn’t about the action itself but rather telling you what you might be seeing on Sunday. In that sense it worked out well enough, but my goodness the battle royal might as well have about three people. Chavo almost has to lose at this point as there is just nothing to his title reign and someone else can take the title to hopefully do something with it.

Post match everyone gets in the ring for the huge staredown.

Boxing personalities talk about Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Chavo Guerrero comes up to mock the injured Tommy Dreamer. A match is set for tonight, thanks to some insults to Colin Delaney (sure why not).

Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito

Feeling out process to start with Carlito slugging away as Taz says he has been hit in the face with a ladder in a match but never had a ladder match. Benjamin skins the cat but Carlito snaps his throat across the top for a crash to the floor. We hit the chinlock back inside and the fans do not seem impressed. Benjamin fights up but gets knocked back into the corner as this isn’t exactly burning up the mat.

Another chinlock goes on but this time Benjamin electric chairs his way to freedom. Carlito is back with a neckbreaker for two and we hit the chinlock with a knee in Benjamin’s back. Benjamin finally makes the comeback and hits the overhead belly to belly. A neckbreaker gives Carlito two more but the Backstabber is countered into a buckle bomb. Paydirt is countered into a backbreaker to give Carlito two more but Benjamin catches him on top. A super Paydirt finishes Carlito off.

Rating: C-. These two were left out there to fill in as much time as they could and it didn’t exactly work. There were far too many chinlocks to get them through the match until Benjamin finally won in the end. This really didn’t work very well, but like everything else around here, none of that is going to matter by next week.

Video on the Raw World Title triple threat match.

Wrestlemania rundown.

The final inductee into the Hall of Fame Class: Gordon Solie.

Kelly Kelly/Stevie Richards vs. Mike Knox/Layla

The women actually wrestle to start with Kelly getting two. Knox gets in a cheap shot from the apron though and Layla takes over for a bit. The men come in and Richards swings away until the women getting in a fight distracts him. Knox grabs a swinging Downward Spiral for the fast pin.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Chavo Guerrero

Non-title and the battle royal participants are at ringside. Dreamer backdrops him to the apron and punches him out to the floor to start, with the unofficial lumberjacks sending Chavo back inside. Chavo sends him shoulder first into the post and we hit the front facelock. The fans think Chavo sucks, even as Dreamer fights up with a bulldog. Guerrero blocks something out of the corner so Dreamer settles for a neckbreaker. Dreamer gets crotched on top though and the frog splash gives Chavo the pin.

Rating: C-. And that’s another Chavo match these days, as they are still rather uninteresting with little going on that could make me care about the title. Dreamer making his comeback is always decent enough but there was only so much that can be done with a three minute match less than a week before Wrestlemania. Just get the title off of Chavo already because this reign is dragging down everything else.

Post match everyone gets inside and the fight is on to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. My goodness Wrestlemania needs to come and go already because this show is falling apart in a hurry. There is only so much that can be done when you have one important story and that one is in limbo due to the champion not having an opponent. Other than that, it is a bunch of people trying to fill in time and that is not going to work long, or even short, term.

 

 

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Smackdown – March 14, 2008: They’re Veering Off

Smackdown
Date: March 14, 2008
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 15,121
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole

We are less than a month away from Wrestlemania and the focus continues to be on Edge vs. the Undertaker. This time though, Edge is veering off to team with the Edgeheads against Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair in a cage match. That’s certainly a unique enough one to go with so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is hometown girl Maria to get things going. She is excited for Bunnymania but tonight, she is hosting the Smackdown Divas Contest so here are the rest of the women. We waste no time in eliminating Maryse, meaning it’s time for this week’s contest. All four of the remaining women (Eve Torres, Michelle McCool, Cherry, Victoria) run the course….with time not counting, because the fan vote decides who is eliminated anyway. McCool wins as at least this was short.

Ric Flair and Shawn Michaels are ready for the main event.

Raw Rebound.

Big Show vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

Show shoves them down without much trouble and tosses Yang into Moore in the corner. The chops rock Moore again and Yang gets tossed so hard that he almost spins around. The big right hand pins Moore in a hurry.

Post match Show tosses Yang ala Floyd Mayweather Jr. on Raw.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: John Morrison vs. The Miz

Morrison doesn’t waste time by grabbing a rollup for a fast two. Back up and Miz hits a middle rope clothesline for one and it’s time for Morrison to bail to the floor. Miz cranks on a headlock before forearming away. That’s fine with Morrison, who sweeps the legs into a jackknife rollup for two more. The flipping neckbreaker is blocked though and Miz faceplants him for two of his own. Morrison isn’t pleased and pops back up with the flipping neckbreaker to finish Miz off.

Rating: C-. Very basic match here and that is about all you could expect from them. Miz isn’t that far along (though he’s coming) and Morrison is the bigger and more successful star. No one would buy Miz as a threat to win the briefcase and while Morrison isn’t that much better of an option, he’s the better option than Miz at the moment.

Video on JBL vs. Finlay, leading to their Belfast Brawl at Wrestlemania.

Finlay joins us via satellite, saying there are no words to describe what it’s like to look at Hornswoggle in his hospital bed. At Wrestlemania, there will be no words to describe the beating he is going to give JBL.

US Title: MVP vs. Batista

MVP is defending and this is no holds barred. They go nose to nose to start until MVP bails to the floor to avoid a charge. Back in and Batista sends him face first into the buckle before a big kick to the chest gets two. An elbow to the head gives Batista two more but MVP is right back up with an overhead belly to belly of all things. MVP gets smart by hitting him in the face with a chain and then chokes away with it back inside.

Batista breaks that up so MVP tears off a buckle pad, only to walk into a spinebuster. It’s too early for Batista to follow up though and MVP gets in a chair shot to the ribs. They go outside with MVP being sent into the barricade and Batista being sent into the post. A low blow gives MVP a needed breather and there’s a running boot to the face as we take a break.

Back with both of them still down on the floor until Batista has to spear a chair out of MVP’s hands. That doesn’t keep MVP down very long though as he chairs Batista in the leg to take over again. MVP takes too long (common theme in this one) peeling back the ring mats though and now it’s Batista getting in his own chair shot. Back in and MVP sends him face first into the exposed buckle to knock Batista silly. For some reason MVP goes up with the chair, allowing Batista to get up. Not that it matters though as cue Umaga to Samoan Spike Batista down, allowing MVP to retain the title.

Rating: C+. This should be it for the feud as Batista now has an even bigger reason to focus on Umaga and Wrestlemania. The ending was the logical way to go as you need to keep Batista strong and MVP…well he’s lost so many times already that it’s hard to believe that there is much left for his reign anyway. What matters here is they wrapped up one feud and moved on to another and at least MVP got a pin for once.

Video on Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs. Big Show.

Kane/Jamie Noble vs. Great Khali/Chuck Palumbo

Palumbo slugs away at Kane to start, which goes about as well as you are probably imagining. Noble, with his bad ribs, comes in and is quickly dropped, allowing Khali to come in and go after the ribs. Some shots to Khali have no effect but Palumbo gets in a cheap shot from the apron anyway. The chokebomb finishes Noble fast.

The cage is lowered.

The Brisco Brothers are going into the Hall Of Fame.

Ric Flair/Shawn Michaels vs. Edge/Edgeheads

In a cage with escape only rules. Hold on though as here is Vickie Guerrero to say we’re adding in someone else. Cue Chavo Guerrero and this is going to be 4-2. We’re joined in progress with the big fight on and Edge spears Flair down to make the numbers game even worse. Shawn gets tied up in the ropes and there’s a spear against the cage or him too.

That leaves him to see an already bloody Flair get rammed into the cage but Shawn is untied and stomped in the corner. Flair manages a few right hands but Edge rakes him face first into the cage. Shawn fights up and Flair does the same, only to have Shawn get tied up in the Tree of Woe for a spear from Edge. Somehow Flair chops away at Edge and the Edgeheads and Shawn manages to knock a diving Chavo out of the air.

A low blow drops Edge and Shawn hits the forearm into the nip up. The villains are sent into the cage over and over and there’s the top rope elbow to Hawkins. Edge spears Chavo by mistake and the double Figure Fours go on. Chavo breaks them up with a double frog splash….and Undertaker is here. Undertaker goes after Edge but a distraction lets him escape the cage for the win.

Rating: C. This was weird as it didn’t really do anything other than put a bunch of people in the cage at once before Undertaker popped in to give them an ending. It felt like they just said “oh do whatever” and moved on, which doesn’t make for the most interesting of matches. That being said, it’s more interesting than a regular tag match and I guess Flair’s loss doesn’t count because he wasn’t directly beaten?

Overall Rating: C. We seem to be entering into the portion of the Wrestlemania build where they have everything set and just need to focus on that instead of anything new. That doesn’t make for the most interesting show, but it’s nice to have a plan and then go forward with it. With only two weeks to go before Wrestlemania, we could be in for some very different shows, but that doesn’t mean they’re all going to be thrilling.

 

 

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Smackdown – March 7, 2008: Go The Other Way

Smackdown
Date: March 7, 2008
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

Wrestlemania is less than a month away and that means we should be seeing some of the lower level matches starting to come together. Most of the card is already set with Undertaker vs. Edge feeling like a huge match. Other than that we have Batista vs. Umaga in a Raw vs. Smackdown match and Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr. in a match that could go on either show. We’ll need more than that so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with Vickie Guerrero and Edge, with Teddy Long in the corner, on the Cutting Edge. After praising Vickie, Edge talks about how he has never lost to Undertaker, making him the real Phenom. Vickie makes Edge/the Edgeheads vs. Undertaker for tonight, which Edge finds very hot. With that out of the way, there is someone else who is going to be losing his 35 year career at Wrestlemania.

That brings us to tonight’s guest, so here is Ric Flair. Edge welcomes him to the show but wants to know what it’s going to be like when Flair loses at Wrestlemania. Flair promises to beat Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania but Edge doesn’t exactly sound convinced. Fans: “YOU SUCK!” Flair: “Your fans are talking to her.” Edge asks Flair about losing to the Undertaker at Wrestlemania, which Flair says is something you never forget.

Losing to Undertaker didn’t hurt his career, but he came at it differently. Edge is the one with a sham of a relationship, which sends Vickie into a rant. After calming her down, Edge says Flair needs to watch the handicap match tonight, because he’ll have his own next week. Oh and let’s make that a cage match. Edge WOOs in his face but gets slapped, with Flair bailing from violence.

CM Punk/Jesse & Festus vs. Miz/John Morrison/Chavo Guerrero

That’s quite the good guy team. Festus clears the ring at the bell until we settle down with Miz vs. Punk to start. Miz manages a quick hot shot and brings in Chavo, who gets backdropped just as fast. Jesse comes in for a backdrop and basement dropkick but Morrison shoves him off the top. This has Festus ready to smash but we take a break instead (probably a good idea).

We take a break and come back with Morrison working on Jesse’s arm. That doesn’t last long either as Jesse slips away and hands it off to Festus to clean house. Everything breaks down with Jesse and Punk hitting dives onto Morrison and Chavo. Back in and the fireman’s carry flapjack gives Festus the pin on Miz.

Rating: C. What else were you expecting here? The good thing is that we didn’t have to sit through too much more of Chavo vs. Punk, as that is a match that has been driven into the ground in recent weeks. Other than that, Miz and Morrison get beaten again, even if it is from a team that is little more than a one off idea. Just find some more interesting challengers for both titles. It shouldn’t be that hard.

Jamie Noble is in the back with Michelle McCool and says he knows she has a thing for him. Noble gets it, but he’s a one woman man. She’s ok with it, and seem to have thought the same thing as Noble.

US Title: MVP vs. Batista

MVP is defending. They fight over a lockup to start with Batista powering him outside without much trouble. Back in and Batista knocks him outside again, though this time he follows him out to keep up the beating. They get back in with Batista starting in on the leg for a change, including a half crab. That’s enough for MVP to bail to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Batista hitting a running corner clothesline but MVP kicks the leg out. A running boot to the head, with the bad leg, gives MVP a bit of a desperation two and we hit the chinlock. Another kick to the leg takes Batista back down and a facebuster, on the bad knee, gives MVP a delayed two. It might not sound logical, but commentary is selling the idea that MVP is desperate to fight Batista so it does make some sense.

MVP kicks him out to the floor for another two and we’re off to a leglock to keep Batista down. Back up and MVP misses the running boot in the corner, allowing Batista to come back with the swinging Boss Man Slam for two. The spinebuster crushes MVP, whose low blow is blocked without much effort. They fight outside with Batista keeping up the beating, but MVP kicks him into the announcers’ table and beats the count to win.

Rating: C+. Well, at least MVP didn’t lose again. This screams setup for another match, hopefully where MVP can retain the title by pinning Batista, likely through some kind of shenanigans. These two got some time here and it was a decent match, though Batista in the US Title scene feels so out of place and it’s hard to fathom in a lot of ways.

We look at Hornswoggle being beaten down again.

Jamie Noble interrupts Edge and Vickie Guerrero, saying he wants a match with Chuck Palumbo. Vickie is annoyed so she gives him Big Show instead.

Mae Young Hall Of Fame video.

Kim Kardashian will be the guest hostess at Wrestlemania.

And now, a Divas swimsuit contest, featuring Eve Torres, Cherry, Maryse, Michelle McCool and Victoria. Apparently this is the first week of a four week competition to determine the Top Diva on Smackdown with one woman being eliminated each week. Not only will the winner get bragging rights but they will also win a….custom motorcycle? They all disrobe (Cherry looks nervous and Victoria dances badly) and we get the results next week because this is another Diva Search style contest. Oh and a fight breaks out because of course it does.

Video on Rey Mysterio being injured and having to undergo bicep surgery.

Kane vs. Chuck Palumbo

Kane powers him into the corner to start but Palumbo is back with some right hands of his own. A clothesline gives Palumbo two but Kane grabs the side slam. Palumbo tries to headbutt his way out of the chokeslam, only to get chokeslammed for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. Palumbo was trying here but we are way beyond the point of him meaning anything. The feud with Jamie Noble worked for a little while and then just went on for so much longer than it needed to that it killed any momentum. Kane is getting back on a roll and there is no reason to have him be in any major threat from Palumbo here.

Big Show vs. Jamie Noble

Show throws him into the corner and gets kicked low for the DQ in short order.

Show shrugs it off and chops Noble down before promising to end Floyd Mayweather Jr.’s career at Wrestlemania.

Raw Rebound.

Undertaker vs. Edge/Edgeheads

Undertaker beats up Hawkins to start and throws him into the corner, allowing Ryder to come in and get beaten down as well. Edge certainly seems nervous as Undertaker kicks Ryder in the head. A cheap shot cuts Undertaker off though and Edge gets to hammer away for a bit. The Edgeheads take turns splashing Undertaker but Edge’s swinging neckbreaker is countered into a DDT. Old School is loaded up but a distraction means that it has to be switched into a top rope armdrag (ok then). The Edgeheads distract Undertaker again though and Edge hits the spear for the pin.

Rating: C-. It was quick and to the point here but at least Edge finally got something over on Undertaker. You can only have Undertaker beat him up every week for so long before it stops having any real impact. There is almost no way that Undertaker is leaving Wrestlemania without the title, but at least they are putting on a good story on the way there.

Edge and Undertaker glare at each other to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They were going up and down this week and that wasn’t the most thrilling show. Undertaker vs. Edge is good and Batista vs. MVP, while not a long term story, is doing well enough, but stuff like the women fighting over a motorcycle isn’t exactly thrilling. Get rid of some of the lame parts and the better portions can take over.

 

 

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Smackdown – February 29, 2008: When Great Khali Has Match Of The Night

Smackdown
Date: February 29, 2008
Location: Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Attendance: 5,200
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

We are just over a month away from Wrestlemania XXIV and most of the top of the card is set. That means that the following weeks can be for a mixture of firming up the main events and building up the lower half of the card. That can include quite a few things and we’ll start this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at the Wrestlemania press conference.

Opening sequence.

Big Show vs. Joey Ryans/Jay Garland

Ryans is….well I think you can guess and this is Show’s first WWE match in over a year. We hear about Show wanting to be a boxer but not being able to get anyone to take his fights. Garland gets chokeslammed and Ryans gets punched in the corner. A right hand knocks Ryans silly for the easy pin.

Post match Show talks about how Floyd Mayweather Jr. may be facing Oscar de la Hoya in September. It’s just a rumor, and Show is here to stop that rumor. Show is going to break everything in Mayweather, including his spirit. There isn’t going to be a Mayweather vs. de la Hoya fight, but Show vs. de la Hoya is possible. That $20 million that Mayweather is getting for the Wrestlemania match (right) isn’t going to be enough for the pain he’ll be experiencing.

Deuce N Domino vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

Cherry is here with Deuce N Domino. Yang and Domino get things going with Domino missing an elbow drop so Yang can grab a headlock. Moore comes in and gets hit in the face a few times before headscissoring Domino into the corner. Back up and Domino sends Moore HARD out to the floor (that was a scary landing), setting up something like a seated abdominal stretch back inside.

Commentary argues about old westerns and whether Asians can be rednecks (oh dear) as Domino pulls Moore down by the hair and knocks Yang off the apron. Not that it matters as the hot tag goes through a few seconds later, with Yang getting to clean a few rooms. The moonsault press misses though and Cherry pulls Moore off the apron. That leaves Yang to slip out of a belly to back suplex and now the moonsault press can connect for the pin on Deuce.

Rating: C. I’m glad to see Yang and Moore sticking around a bit longer, as they have been a rather nice little bright spot between here and ECW. I’m not sure what that is going to mean for them in the long term, but at least they are doing something for the time being. Deuce N Domino….yeah how long were you expecting a greaser gimmick to last? Maybe having them actually do something as champions might have helped.

Edge and Vickie Guerrero make honeymoon plans, with Edge thinking Canada. Vickie loves Canadians but the Edgeheads interrupt their romance. That’s ok with Edge, who sends Zack Ryder after Undertaker tonight.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Jamie Noble

Yes, AGAIN and Michelle McCool is here with Noble. Palumbo misses a charge into the corner and Noble strikes away before pulling on an armbar over the ropes. Back up and Palumbo dumps him to the floor without much effort but a McCool distraction breaks up whatever Palumbo has planned (probably some kind of wrestling move).

They head back inside with Palumbo hitting an overhead belly to belly superplex for two, leaving Palumbo stunned. Noble manages a Fujiwara armbar until the rope is grabbed, allowing Palumbo to hit a hard slam. An enziguri sends Palumbo into the corner for a Cannonball but he rakes Noble’s eyes across the top. The Overdrive finishes Noble off.

Rating: C. The more I watch these matches the more I believe WWE has just forgotten where they were going with the story but keep it going for lack of anything better for the two of them. Palumbo is still his old, not that interesting self and now Noble, who has been the good guy in the whole thing, is a loser. What else is there for these two to do? And it isn’t like McCool has gained anything either, making this quite the waste of time.

Vickie Guerrero is in the back with Teddy Long and Maryse, with the latter praising Vickie until Batista comes in. Batista has heard about this Raw vs. Smackdown challenge and wants to face Umaga. Maryse likes the idea (and maybe Batista) so Vickie sets the match.

Batista/Kane vs. MVP/Great Khali

Feels like they pressed the random button in Smackdown vs. Raw. Kane and Khali start things off with Khali pounding him into the corner. MVP comes in and gets backdropped, setting up the basement dropkick, which always feels weird from Kane. It’s off to Batista, who charges into an elbow in the corner.

Kane is right back in to big boot MVP down for two as commentary thinks we’ll be talking about the recent Elimination Chamber match for years to come. I wouldn’t get my hopes up on that one. The spinebuster plants MVP but Khali breaks up the Batista Bomb as we take an early break.

Back with Khali shoving Batista down and sending him outside without much trouble. Khali runs him over again back inside and actually covers for two, showing more mobility than usual. Batista gets over for the tag off to Kane to fire off on Khali in the corner. This lasts all of five seconds before Khali knocks him backwards. MVP comes in so Kane grabs him by the throat, earning a chop from Khali on the apron (makes sense).

The cravate doesn’t hold Kane down for very long as he powers up and slams MVP down for a breather. MVP cuts him off with a kick to the head though as this heat is getting some time. Kane finally knocks MVP down though and the hot tag brings in Batista to clean house. Everything breaks down and Khali chops Batista right back down, only to have the Vice Grip reversed into the spinebuster. MVP makes the save so Batista spears Khali down for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was a near shockingly good match as they worked the formula and got some time, making it into a match where I wanted to see how it ended. What mattered the most here though was MVP didn’t take the fall, which had me worried throughout. Khali has nothing going on at the moment and thankfully WWE realized he should be taking the pin.

Eve Torres comes out to introduce High Chief Peter Maivia and Rocky Johnson for the Hall of Fame, with the Rock inducting them. I get that she has to do something, but the Hall of Fame announcement (even one repeated from Raw) doesn’t feel exactly right for someone who has been around for all of a few months.

Jesse & Festus vs. Miz/John Morrison

Non-title but before the match, we get a clip from the Dirt Sheet with a completely genuine conversation between the teams, which makes Jesse & Festus sound a bit dumb. The bell rings and Festus jumps Miz and Morrison before sending the former into the corner for a running shot to the face.

A headbutt lets Jesse come in with a middle rope elbow and even knock Morrison off the apron. Miz gets smart by taking a breather on the floor and Jesse gets taken down back inside. That lasts all of a few seconds as an easy escape sets up the hot tag to Festus. House is cleaned and Festus sits on Morrison’s chest and grabs the fireman’s carry flapjack for the pin.

Rating: C. The champs lose again (after losing on ECW to Tommy Dreamer and Colin Delaney), which is far too common of a trope in WWE. At least Jesse and Festus are a bit better team, but it isn’t like they’re the next great thing. Other than the good looking flapjack, there wasn’t much to be seen here, especially after that rather awesome…Khali match?

Raw Rebound.

Big Daddy V vs. Balls Mahoney

Matt Striker is here with V. Mahoney gets beaten down to start and there’s the swinging Boss Man Slam. The corner splash and Samoan drop crush Mahoney….and there’s the Undertaker’s gong. The lights go out and Undertaker POWER WALKS to the ring (egads) to beat V outside. Mahoney gets chokeslammed too as it’s a no contest because DQ’s are passe or something.

Post match Undertaker says death waits for no man, so Edge needs to send his minion to Undertaker’s yard.

Undertaker vs. Zack Ryder

Edge and Curt Hawkins are here too. Ryder bails to the floor to start and a distraction lets him get in a few cheap shots. That earns Ryder a hard posting and there’s the kick to the side of the head. The beating continues back inside before Undertaker throws him over the top in a heap. Ryder tries to come in off the top but Hawkins has to save him from a chokeslam. Some right hands in the corner just annoy Undertaker so he throws Ryder into the corner to hammer away. Snake Eyes into the big boot set up the chokeslam and choke, which is enough to draw Edge in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. More or less a squash here for Undertaker and that’s all it needed to be. A heel like Edge has minions for a reason and Undertaker got to wreck one of them on the way to Wrestlemania. Ryder is nowhere near ready to be a challenge to Undertaker so this went as it should have gone. It doesn’t make it interesting, but it was logical.

Post match Undertaker is having none of this and beats up the Edgeheads, including the choke to Hawkins. Undertaker holds up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Undertaker vs. Edge is starting to feel like a big deal and that is how a major Wrestlemania match should come off. The match got another hard push here and when you add in….Great Khali having the match of the night…..it was a pretty decent show. They need something else to build up aside from Edge vs. Undertaker, but they still have a few weeks to make that work.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown – February 8, 2008: Vickiekins

Smackdown
Date: February 8, 2008
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole

We are getting close to No Way Out and the Smackdown Elimination Chamber match. That should be enough to carry the show, though there is also a Royal Rumble rematch between Edge and Rey Mysterio for the Smackdown World Title. Tonight is likely going to be about building towards those matches so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Michael Cole brings out Batista for a chat to start. Batista says his experience in the Chamber is his strength because he knows what it is like. There is going to be a ton of monsters in that Chamber but here is MVP to interrupt. MVP says Batista has never been in the Chamber with him but Batista promises violence, especially for what MVP did to Ric Flair. Now it’s Big Daddy V, with Matt Striker, to interrupt.

V feels differently about who is going to win the Chamber with Striker promising violence. Yeah yeah V is big and heavy in case you didn’t get the idea. Then Great Khali, with Runjin Singh, comes out with the latter saying Khali will win. Then Finlay, with Hornswoggle, comes in to say he’s here to fight. Then Undertaker pops up and the good guys clear the ring, likely setting up a six man tag. As soon as MVP came out, you knew what the next eight or so minutes was going to be, especially if you watched Raw where they did the same thing.

Wrestlemania is coming.

Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin

Rematch from ECW where Kane won by countout. Before the match, Shelton says there ain’t no stopping him now. Kane hammers him down in the corner and hits a basement dropkick to keep Benjamin in trouble. A missed charge sends Kane into the corner though and Benjamin hits a Blockbuster for a delayed one.

The chinlock doesn’t last long as Kane is back up with some shots to the face to start the comeback. The top rope clothesline sends Benjamin outside where Kane gets posted. They head up to the apron with Shelton going up top. Kane uppercuts him back to the mat….and doesn’t beat the count to give Shelton the win.

Rating: C. That’s definitely a creative ending but it came after a pretty standard match. Kane vs. Benjamin sounded like a match that should have been rather good but for some reason neither of their tries have gone very far. It also doesn’t help that they don’t have much going on at the moment so they’re just matches for the sake of filling in time on various shows.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Jamie Noble

Yes, again, but this time Michelle McCool is here with Jamie. Palumbo kicks him in the face to start and hammers away, only to miss a top rope elbow. Noble knocks him outside but Michelle isn’t sure about having Noble stomp away. A dropkick knocks Palumbo off the apron again but sends a diving Noble into the motorcycle (OUCH). Back in and Full Throttle finishes Noble.

Rating: C-. That crash onto the motorcycle looked good but my goodness it is hard to care about this story in any other way. Palumbo just isn’t that interested but Noble continues to do everything he can to make this work. They need to move on though, as this match has been done to death already.

Post match Palumbo destroys Noble even more, with commentary getting into their serious voices over the brutality. Palumbo even teases running a downed over with his motorcycle as this segment goes on FAR longer than a Chuck Palumbo and Jamie Noble segment needed to last.

WWE has an office in Shanghai!

Jesse and Festus vs. Deuce N Domino

Cherry is here too. This is the new improved Festus, who comes to the ring with a bag over his head. The bag comes off and Festus looks the same, only to go nuts as usual when the bell rings. Deuce N Domino are cleared out but Deuce comes back in to get armdragged by Jesse. Festus keeps rocking back and forth on the apron as Jesse misses a charge in the corner to put him in trouble for a change. A distraction brings Festus in so the chinlock can go on, only to be broken up just as quickly. The hot tag brings in Festus to clean house and a pump kick into a splash knocks Domino silly. The fireman’s carry flapjack gives Festus the pin.

Rating: C. So yeah it’s the same Jesse and Festus, meaning they’re fun for a bit before before you realize how little Jesse brings to the team. Festus did his thing well enough and is great as a wrecking ball, but the charm wears off soon. Kind of like anything involving Deuce N Domino mattering, as they have completely collapsed after a great start.

Here is Edge for the Cutting Edge. He doesn’t want to do it, but he shows us a clip from the Royal Rumble where Vickie Guerrero was taken out by an errant 619. That brings out Vickie, with Teddy Long at her side, as this week’s guest. After the EDDIE chants die down, Edge sends Teddy to the back so he can be alone with his “Vickiekins.”

Edge knows that next week is Valentine’s Day and Edge has a special question to ask her. That’s next week though, but for now, Rey Mysterio needs to come out here and apologize right now. Cue Rey, who tries to explain but gets slapped by Vickie. Berating ensues, followed by Edge beating Rey down. Rey is ready for the Conchairto though and hits a quick 619 to send Edge bailing. With Rey and Vickie alone, Rey apologizes to her. Fine enough segment with the challenger standing…well not quite tall but close enough.

No Way Out rundown.

Raw Rebound.

Edge won’t say what he is asking Vickie next week.

Edgeheads vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

Yang dropkicks Ryder down to start but it’s quickly off to Hawkins for a forearm to the chest. The villains start taking turns working on Yang’s arm but he gets a boot up in the corner to cut off a charging Hawkins. Moore comes in for a quick legdrop on Ryder, who is right back up with a reverse inverted DDT for the pin.

Rating: D+. This is a match that never had a chance to go anywhere and it seems that Yang and Moore’s completely out of nowhere run is finished. They were a fun enough team, who had no chance to actually do anything because the tag division is that weak. Hawkins and Ryder work well together though and it makes sense to give them a win like this to establish them as something more serious than just Edge’s goons.

Great Khali/MVP/Big Daddy V vs. Batista/Finlay/Undertaker

Matt Striker, Runjin Singh and Hornswoggle are here too. We’re joined in progress with Khali hammering on Finlay before MVP comes in to do the same. Finlay fights out of trouble and hands it off to Batista to start on the arm. V comes in and misses the huge charge into the corner, allowing Batista to hit the shoulders in the corner. Undertaker gets to come in and unload with right hands and headbutts before cranking the arm around the top.

Old School is broken up but the second attempt works just fine. An MVP distraction lets V drop Undertaker with a clothesline though and we take a break. Back with MVP hammering on Undertaker but Batista comes in for a suplex. Finlay gets a chance to stomp on MVP, who manages to send him over the top and outside. Everything breaks down and Undertaker grabs a chair, which can’t possibly end well.

We settle down to Khali coming in and stomping on Finlay before stopping to pose. For once that isn’t a bad idea as it’s off to V for a rather easy slam. MVP’s chinlock doesn’t last long and he misses the running boot in the corner, allowing the tag off to Undertaker. Snake Eyes into the big boot (that’s always smooth) gets two and everything breaks down. The parade of secondary finishes sets up Undertaker’s chokeslam to MVP as the match is thrown out.

Rating: C+. Well good for them for not having Undertaker pin MVP, the US Champion. The result was pretty definitive but they didn’t have someone take an unnecessary fall. It’s almost like WWE was thinking about this for a change. Anyway, you know that the Chamber has two possible winners so the match is going to be a lot of filler before the finish, but at least they did something smart here.

Post match Undertaker, Finlay and Batista stare each other down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. We are firmly at the point where No Way Out is set and there isn’t much left to do. WWE has done a decent enough job with half of pay per view that isn’t so interesting so this was about as good as they can do. Hopefully they can come up with something good for next week, because that could be quite the lame show. For now though, this was just barely ok enough, but there is nothing you need to see.

 

 

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Smackdown – January 25, 2008

Smackdown
Date: January 25, 2008
Location: John Paul Jones Arena, Charlottesville, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and that means we are probably going to get one last big push towards the show. Edge defending the World Title against Rey Mysterio is already set so there is just the Rumble itself to get the build. I’m not sure how much there is to be done, but the road to this show ran out of steam a good while ago. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio vs. Edgeheads

Hawkins starts for the team so Rey goes with the dodging. Rey tries to grab him but gets driven into the corner for the tag to Ryder and a standoff. The attempted wheelbarrow bulldog is countered into a faceplant and Hawkins cranks on both arms. Mysterio enziguris his way out of trouble and snaps off a headscissors as Edge is watching in the back. Ryder tries a sunset flip and gets kicked in the head for his troubles. A splash gives Rey two as everything breaks down, including the slingshot dive to Ryder on the floor. Ryder has enough and brings in a chair for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This could have been a bit better but the ending did protect both of them. That being said, they really couldn’t have Rey get a quick rollup to pin one of Edge’s goons? It gave Rey a bit of momentum on his way to a title match he isn’t going to win, even if the match wasn’t exactly good.

Post match Rey clears the ring without much trouble.

Jesse is here with some pictures of Festus, which explains Festus’ two sides. It is clear that Festus needs help so he is currently getting the medical help that he needs.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Domino

Shannon Moore, Deuce and Cherry are here too. Feeling out process to start with Domino forearming him down but getting caught with a quick hurricanrana. Domino is back with a front facelock before dropping him ribs first across the top. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Domino switches to a sleeper for a change of pace. Yang slips out of that as well and hits a running spinwheel kick in the corner. The high crossbody gets two so Deuce goes after Yang, earning himself a beating from Moore. Yang is back up with the top rope moonsault press for the pin.

Rating: C. Yang continues his rather nice run, even if it is going to go absolutely nowhere. The match was about as basic as you could have gotten but it might have set up a rematch so Yang and Moore can beat Deuce N Domino further into the ground. It’s still not a division, but it is better than what we have had for a long time now.

Dancing ensues post match.

Jamie Noble and Chuck Palumbo argue in the back again but agree to be calm for Michelle McCool’s sake.

Video on Jeff Hardy.

Chuck Palumbo/Jamie Noble/Michelle McCool vs. Layla/Miz/John Morrison

For some reason the villains are introduced as John Morrison and the team of Miz and Layla. Miz and Layla are still a thing on ECW? Anyway Morrison front facelocks Noble to start before Miz comes in and gets forearmed in the face. Palumbo tags himself in so the argument is on, leaving Michelle to slap Layla. Michelle gets knocked off the apron though and we stop the match to check on her. Palumbo beats up Noble and I guess this is a no contest.

Post match Michelle grabs Palumbo to stop him from being on Noble and gets accidentally thrown off. That’s enough for a stretcher job as the show stops fast. How in the world is this story STILL GOING???

Here is MVP for a chat. He is sick of hearing about Ric Flair because he is the future of this business, so Flair is done on Sunday. After the Royal Rumble, the headlines will read MVP retires Flair, while Flair is playing golf and shuffleboard. And yes, we have funny photos. Cue Flair to say this golf ball hitting, shuffleboard playing man isn’t ready to retire. Flair promises to win on Sunday and that’s it. Not much from Flair here.

Great Khali vs. Finlay

Belfast Brawl, meaning street fight and Runjin Singh/Hornswoggle are both here too. Khali knocks the shillelagh out of Finlay’s hand to start and hammers away in the corner, while looking down at Hornswoggle. The chokebomb drops Finlay again and Khali throws him outside to load up the announcers’ table. Khali goes for Hornswoggle though and Finlay ERUPTS on him with shillelagh shots to leave Khali laying. Some chair shots make it even worse for the busted open Khali. That’s enough for Finlay, who walks out with Hornswoggle.

Rating: C. This wasn’t much of a match but DANG it did a great job of making Finlay look like a killer in the end. He left Khali laying on the floor and busted open, which isn’t something you see outside of maybe Undertaker. It was more of an angle than a match but dang it was fun to see Finlay rise up like that.

Vince McMahon checks on Hornswoggle and threatens him with pain at the Royal Rumble. He can’t even trust Finlay in the match!

Here is Batista for a chat. He wishes Rey Mysterio luck and puts everyone else in the Rumble on notice. 2005 is going to repeat himself though and he’s going to win again. Another short and simple promo here.

We look back at Michelle McCool being taken out again.

Undertaker vs. Big Daddy V

Matt Striker is here with V. Undertaker punches away to start but gets clotheslined down without much effort. Back up and a headbutt drops Undertaker again, setting up the beating in the corner. There’s the required splash but Undertaker is right back with the running DDT for two. The driving shoulders look to set up Old School but V pulls him down and out to the floor.

Striker gets in a cheap shot of his own and V follows them outside, with Undertaker sending him into the steps. Back in and a big boot into the legdrop gets two and the chokeslam connects for the same. A swinging Boss Man Slam drops Undertaker and V mounts him, thankfully without any thrusting. Not that it matters as Undertaker pulls him into the debuting…..whatever you call a hold where Undertaker pulls V’s throat across a shin for the tap.

Rating: D+. It’s kind of weird to see Undertaker debut a new submission hold right before a match that has nothing to do with submissions but it does look better than the triangle choke. Other than that, this was every Undertaker vs. V match you’ve seen, as there just isn’t much else for V to do once he has been beaten. After that, he is little more than a hill for Undertaker to climb and there is no doubt that he can do just that without much trouble.

Post match Mark Henry has to come help V out of the ring as V coughs up blood.

Rumble By The Numbers time!

569 wrestlers eliminated
36 wrestlers eliminated by Steve Austin
11 appearances by Shawn Michaels
11 wrestlers eliminated by Kane in 2001
3 Mick Foley personae to appear in the same Royal Rumble
2 feet that have to touch the ground
1 woman to enter the match, with Chyna
62:12 that Rey Mysterio lasted in 2006
2 seconds that Warlord lasted in 1990
3 Steve Austin wins
2 wins for the #1 spot, compared to 1 win for #30
#27 produces the most winners
73% of winners have gone on to win the title at Wrestlemania since 1993

Royal Rumble rundown.

Edge vs. CM Punk

Non-title, Rey Mysterio is on commentary, the Edgeheads are here too and this is fallout from Edge costing CM Punk the ECW World Title earlier this week. Punk starts fast by sending Edge shoulder first into the buckle, setting up a basement dropkick to the back. The armbar goes on and Rey is interested in Edge having a weakened shoulder. Edge comes back with a big boot and chokes on the ropes before sending Punk outside for a crash.

We take a break and come back with Punk spinwheel kicking him out of the air. The springboard clothesline is powerslammed out of the air but Punk counters the implant DDT. The GTS is countered into the Edge O Matic for two but the spear is blocked with a kick to the head. For some reason Punk tries a super GTS, which is escaped without much trouble, setting up the spear to give Edge the pin.

Rating: C+. It’s weird seeing Punk get pinned clean but he lost to the World Champion so it isn’t like this is some devastating defeat. The good thing is that Edge gets some momentum heading into the pay per view, but you can almost guarantee that Punk is going to be coming up to the big shows sooner rather than later. The match was the best of the night, even if Punk isn’t at this level yet.

Mysterio chases Edge off to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. As has been the case for the last few weeks, there isn’t much left to set up for the Rumble. That was on display this week, as the stuff that has already been set up was done weeks ago, leaving a good bit of finishing touches to be added over the last few shows. The Rumble should be good and that’s all you can ask for, but it’s going to be nice to freshen things up a bit and move on to something else.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Smackdown – January 18, 2008: He Talks?

Smackdown
Date: January 18, 2008
Location: Birmingham Jefferson Convention Complex, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

We are less than two weeks away from the Royal Rumble and odds are we are going to get some focus on that show this week. With Edge vs. Rey Mysterio for the Smackdown World Title all set up, it is time to build on the rest of the card, which is mainly going to focus on the Royal Rumble itself. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the end of last year’s Royal Rumble, with Undertaker beating Shawn Michaels in a classic final five minutes.

Here is Undertaker to get thing going. Undertaker says it is not often that he has a microphone in his hand because he doesn’t have much to say. He doesn’t talk about taking souls because he just does it. In nine days, he is entering the Royal Rumble, which he won last year. This is a warning to the other 29 men: if you stand before him, you will fall before him and Rest In Peace. Cue Matt Striker and Big Daddy V, because this is still a feud they’re trying to push. Undertaker stares V down and the fight is on, with V being sent into the steps. That’s enough for Striker to get him out of here after another nothing brawl between them.

We recap the issues between Rey Mysterio, Vickie Guerrero, Chavo Guerrero and Edge. As tends to be the case, this resulted in Rey being beaten down to end the show.

Finlay vs. Great Khali

Hornswoggle and Runjin Singh are here and get in a chase on the floor at the bell. We take a break less than thirty seconds in and come back with Khali stomping Finlay down in the corner. A right hand drops Finlay again and they head outside until Khali misses a chop. Finlay kicks away but Finlay gets chopped right back.

We hit the nerve hold (of course) before Khali hits a slam to keep Finlay in trouble. Hornswoggle offers a distraction though and Finlay gets in a low blow but it’s time to beat up Singh. That’s enough of a distraction for Khali to hit the chokebomb and the Vice Grip finishes Finlay off.

Rating: D+. You know what you’re going to get from Khali and you know what you’re going to get from this match as it has already happened more than once. The good thing is that they gave Khali a win to get some of his momentum back. You can only have him taken out by the shillelagh so many times before it stops mattering so this was the right way to go. It wasn’t a good match of course, but it did its job.

Edge tells Vickie Guerrero that he will always be here for her. They mean everything they have said to each other, with Vickie suggesting they have a kid. The camera pans over to Teddy Long, who reminds them that he’s still here. Vickie sends him on a food run but Chavo Guerrero interrupts to say he was wrong about the two of them. Chavo says Edge is a good guy and Vickie takes both of their hands.

Raw Rebound.

Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore vs. Deuce N Domino

Cherry is here with the entrance-less Deuce N Domino. Jimmy and Deuce start things off with Jimmy taking him to the mat without much effort. Cherry offers a distraction so Jimmy can be sent outside and it’s Moore coming in, only to be taken down in a hurry. Domino grabs the chinlock, which goes as well as the average chinlock, meaning Moore fights up and brings Yang back in. Everything breaks down and a missile dropkick gets two on Domino. The moonsault press finishes for Jimmy.

Rating: C. Again: take two guys who have nothing else going on and put them into a team. It isn’t the best way to go and it isn’t going to light the company on fire, but Yang and Moore are having fun matches and adding the slightest bit of depth to the division. If WWE can do it with them, why can’t they do it with even more people?

Vince McMahon comes into the dressing room to yell at Finlay for letting Great Khali hurt Hornswoggle. Next week it’s Finlay vs. Great Khali in a Belfast Brawl.

Batista vs. Mark Henry

After a clip of Batista winning the 2005 Royal Rumble, they fight over a lockup with neither being able to get very far. A running shoulder doesn’t get Batista anywhere so it’s time to yell at each other instead. Henry is knocked outside so Batista follows and sends him into the barricade. That earns him a knockdown and a whip into the steps before the beating heads back inside. Henry’s Vader Bomb hits raised knees and a spear gives Batista two. The Batista Bomb is broken up so Batista goes with the spinebuster for the pin.

Rating: C-. Yeah you know what you’re getting here, as once Batista has beaten him one time, there is no real reason to be interested in seeing it happen again. We know he can’t hit the Batista Bomb so it was either going to be the spear or the spinebuster. Batista still feels like he gets a bit of a rub, but that isn’t exactly a big deal from Henry.

We look at Edge helping Chavo Guerrero become #1 contender to the ECW World Title.

It’s time for the VIP Lounge with Ric Flair as this week’s guest. Flair talks about wanting to dance all night long in a lounge like this and says he closed VIP lounges before MVP was born. MVP talks about how he beat Flair last year and promises to do it again. Flair lists off some legends he has beaten and says he likes MVP a lot. He reminds Flair of himself but knows that MVP is nothing like him. MVP says he’s better and Flair is ready to fight but we’ll save that for the Royal Rumble. After hitting the catchphrases, MVP gets punched out to the floor.

Michelle McCool vs. Layla

McCool grabs some headlock takeovers to start and shoulders her down for a basement dropkick. Back up and Layla goes after the knee to take over. That doesn’t last long as Michelle is up with some kicks, setting up a double underhook facebuster (Christopher Daniels’ Angel’s Wings) for the pin.

Rating: C-. They’re both trying and this was far from an embarrassing match, but you can only get so far with these women fighting over whatever catty issue they have. There isn’t room for a Women’s Title around here, but they have come a long way since the dark days. Michelle is getting more and more polished in the ring and that is nice to see as the effort is working out.

Video on Eve Torres.

Jamie Noble checks on Michelle McCool when a delivery man has flowers for her. They’re not from Jamie, but rather Chuck Palumbo, who apologizes profusely. Michelle accepts his apology but Noble doesn’t buy any of this. She tells them to get along for her sake. Sure.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Vickie Guerrero wishes Rey Mysterio good luck in the main event but he doesn’t buy it.

Edge/Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio/CM Punk

Punk works on Chavo’s arm to start and then shoulders him down. Rey comes in with a springboard seated senton for something like a Hart Attack to Chavo, meaning it’s off to Edge. Everything breaks down and the villains are sent outside for stereo dives as we take a break.

Back with Punk whipping Edge into the corner and raining down some right hands. A Chavo distraction lets Edge take over though and it’s the villains taking turns on Punk. Edge slides Punk shoulder first into the post and Chavo grabs an armbar. A backbreaker gives Chavo two but Punk kicks him down for a much needed breather. It’s still too early for the hot tag as Edge comes back in, only to miss a charge into the buckle. Rey comes back in to clean house but Edge chairs Rey down to break up the 619 and draw the DQ.

Rating: C+. Lame ending aside, this is a case where the talent alone is going to carry things. There were four good wrestlers in there and they got to do a completely passable story during their match. Good enough for a main event here as we barrel towards a pair of title matches next week.

Post match the brawl stays on the Edgeheads come in and help with the beatdown on Punk and Rey to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. As has been the case for a few weeks now, there is only so much that can be done for the Royal Rumble build. The World Title match is set, meaning this was more about setting up the ECW World Title match on next week’s TV rather than anything for the pay per view. Not a bad show, but the Rumble needs to get here already.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown – January 11, 2008: The Downward Swing

Smackdown
Date: January 11, 2008
Location: Wachovia Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole

We are well on the way to the Royal Rumble and Edge is set to defend the Smackdown World Title against Rey Mysterio after last week’s Beat The Clock Challenge. Other than that, we have an angry Undertaker and Batista, which should make for some rather violent problems around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s Beat The Clock Challenge with Rey Mysterio pinning Edge to earn the title shot.

Vickie Guerrero and Teddy Long are in the ring to get things going. Vickie gets right to the point by bringing out Rey Mysterio for a chat. After an exchange of pleasantries, Rey says it’s weird to have Vickie on his opponent’s side. Rey still cares about the Guerreros though, even with Vickie having a relationship with Edge. Vickie doesn’t like her private life being talked about, but Rey doesn’t quite see national TV as private. Rey dates to ask what about Eddie, sending Vickie into an explanation of how she could still have another kid with Edge. That has Rey almost cringing before he says Edge doesn’t love her.

Cue Edge to say Rey knows nothing about their relationship and to promise that he’ll still love Vickie after the Royal Rumble. That’s cool with Rey, but Edge won’t be champion. Cue Chavo Guerrero to say Rey will never be a Guerrero. As for Vickie, the entire family is disgusted with her, which is enough to send Vickie over the edge. The two of them are wrestlers, so they can fight tonight. Just in case you hadn’t seen that match enough over the years.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Jamie Noble

Yes, again, and Michelle McCool is here with Palumbo again, though apparently he has apologized to her. Palumbo forearms him down to start and hits a slam for a fast two. Noble gets sent hard into the corner but comes back with something like a neckbreaker. A crucifix gives Noble the fast pin as the Palumbo frustration continues.

Rating: D+. Anytime they want to GET ON WITH THIS STORY and move on to something else for everyone involved, I would certainly appreciate it. We got the point weeks ago and now we’re back where we were instead of going somewhere with Noble and McCool. The matches aren’t good and the story isn’t going anywhere, but odds are it is going to continue for whatever reason.

Edge consoles Vickie Guerrero over what Chavo Guerrero said to her. A massage ensues.

Batista vs. MVP

Non-title. Before the match, MVP promises to retire Ric Flair at the Royal Rumble. Batista shoves him down to start but MVP is back up with some quick left jabs. A headlock takeover actually works on Batista but he’s right back up with a leapfrog (ok then) into a hard shoulder. The shoulders to the ribs in the corner keep MVP in trouble as we hear about Batista and Undertaker being added to the Royal Rumble.

Batista misses a charge in the corner and gets kicked out to the floor. Something like a hanging Nightmare On Helm Street gives MVP two and a drop toehold cuts off a comeback attempt. Another running boot to the head gives MVP another near fall and we hit a double underhook crank. The cravate stays on the neck and even hangs on when Batista slams him.

Batista breaks it up with straight power and hits the swinging Boss Man Slam for two. The spinebuster connects but MVP bails to the floor before the Batista Bomb. MVP kicks him in the head again before avoiding a clothesline to send Batista into the post. They both get to the apron, where Batista knocks him off the apron and beats the count back in for the win.

Rating: C. At least MVP didn’t get pinned for the second week in a row so this could have been a lot worse. Losing to Batista via countout isn’t the worst idea but it would be nice to have someone go after the title. Batista gets some momentum on the way to the Rumble and he’s enough of a threat to win the thing so this was a good enough idea.

Post match MVP grabs a chair but gets speared down.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry/Matt Striker

Fallout from last week when Undertaker had Henry beat in the Beat The Clock Challenge but guest referee Striker cheated him out of the win. Striker bails to the floor to start so Undertaker starts working on the arm. Said arm is wrapped around the top rope but Old School is broken up. Undertaker is right back with a chokeslam attempt but has to boot down an invading Striker. Snake Eyes into the big boot drops Striker and there’s Old School to Henry. That’s enough to throw Henry over the top and the Tombstone finishes Striker in short order.

Post match Big Daddy V comes out to start the double teaming but Undertaker beats up both monsters without much effort.

Vince McMahon gives Hornswoggle a pep talk before his arm wrestling match with Runjin Singh. Hornswoggle leaves and Finlay comes in, saying Vince isn’t holding up his end of their deal. Vince warns him to NEVER mention that deal but Finlay doesn’t like being talked to like that. Somehow this earns Finlay a spot in the Royal Rumble.

Raw Rebound.

It’s time for arm wrestling between Runjin Singh and Hornswoggle, with Great Khali and Finlay here too. Before the match, Singh promises to win because of Great Khali’s workout regimen. They tease getting started, then Hornswoggle stands on a chair to make it even….then Finlay uses a remote control to electrocute Singh so Hornswoggle can win. Violence from Great Khali is teased but Finlay uses a chair to make the save. That was certainly a different way to go.

Kane vs. Domino

Cherry and Deuce are here with Domino. The uppercut and assorted right hands set up a corner clothesline and Domino is in trouble. A sideslam into the top rope clothesline into the chokeslam finishes for Kane in a hurry. Total dominance.

Video on Eve Torres.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Hold on though as here is Edge to join commentary. Chavo takes him into the corner to start and it’s an early standoff. A running headscissors drops Chavo but he’s back with some quick uppercuts. Rey ties him in the ropes though and a kick sends Chavo outside. That’s reversed without much effort though and Rey gets dropped hard on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Rey fighting out of a chinlock but getting faceplanted for two. Chavo stomps away in the corner and a belly to back suplex gets two more. A hammerlock, with Chavo flipping over, has Rey’s arm in trouble as Edge is losing his patience with Cole and Coach. Rey fights up again and snaps off another headscissors before sending him outside. A slingshot springboard Arabian press gives Rey two back inside but he has to break up the Three Amigos. The 619 sets up a top rope splash to give Rey the pin.

Rating: C+. They do well together but there is a firm limit on the interest level from anything involving Chavo and it isn’t that high in the first place. Rey does get another win and the action was fine, but trying to put this over as some big match didn’t exactly work. At the same time, it doesn’t make Chavo look great as he goes after the ECW World Title.

Post match Edge comes in but gets beaten down, only to have the Edgeheads come in and help Edge with the big beating to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. We’re in a weird period here as the main Smackdown match is set for the Royal Rumble and the show’s main event is going to sell itself without much effort. That leaves you with stuff like Noble/Palumbo, squashes and Chavo Guerrero. We could be in for some long shows before the Rumble, but hopefully they can be upgrades over this one.

 

 

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Smackdown – December 21, 2007: The Christmas Non-Present

Smackdown
Date: December 21, 2007
Location: Blue Cross Arena, Rochester, New York
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We have a new World Champion around here as Edge defeated Batista and Undertaker in a triple threat match at Armageddon. That is going to be a big change of pace as we head into the new year but now Edge needs a new challenger for the Royal Rumble. I doubt we find out who that is tonight but maybe there is something else out there. Let’s get to it.

Here is Armageddon if you need a recap.

Teddy Long wheels Vickie Guerrero to the ring and we look at Edge winning the World Title at the pay per view. Back in the arena, Vickie introduces Edge, who is officially presented with the title by Teddy. Edge isn’t sure who he should thank first before starting with Teddy. Then he thanks the fans, the Edgeheads, but there are two in particular, so here are the Major Brothers (who weren’t identified on Sunday).

They just went by the Major Brothers to get noticed, and now we get to meet the real people: Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder. With that out of the way, Edge thanks the real star here by kneeling next to Vickie. Edge declares her the love of his life (again) and we get a music video of the two of them together in a park, at dinner, under a gazebo and more.

Back in the arena, Edge needs to talk about Batista, who doesn’t need to carry the show anymore. Tonight, after Batista loses his rematch, the last image you will be seeing is Edge holding up the title. This was the big celebration, but Edge now having Ryder and Hawkins makes him a bit more dangerous.

Great Khali/Runjin Singh vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle

Singh is in a copy of Khali’s gear and mocks his pose for one of the few out of the ordinary things he has ever done in WWE. Finlay’s right hand to Khali doesn’t do much to start as Khali throws him into the corner. A big boot puts Khali down as JBL wants to know what isn’t big on Khali. Singh comes in, or at least gets tagged, as Hornswoggle pulls his pants down on the apron.

Everything breaks down and Khali is knocked down on the floor, leaving Finlay to throw water at Singh (as Hornswoggle hides under an umbrella). Back in and a giant swing sets up the Tadpole Splash to finish Singh. Not enough shown to rate, but this was comedy and nothing more.

Dancing ensues post match.

Here is Ric Flair for a chat. Flair wishes us a Merry Christmas, because it might be the last chance he gets to in a WWE ring. He got to see everyone here today and he respects all of them. Anyone who knows him knows that he has been in the ring for 35 years and he has only want to be the best. Now Vince McMahon has decided that the next time Flair loses a match, he has to retire.

In ten days, he has to face the greatest wrestler alive today, HHH. That’s who Flair has said he wanted to face in his final match, just for some irony. Five years ago, he came back here and wasn’t in a good place, but HHH told him to go be himself. Therefore, Flair knows that HHH is going to bring the best he can. Flair loves HHH as a brother, but if he loses, he’ll have no regrets. This was serious Flair and he made the match feel a lot bigger.

Maryse, in a bit of a Mrs. Claus outfit, welcomes us back and wants us to keep her warm.

Rey Mysterio/CM Punk/Kane vs. Big Daddy V/Mark Henry/MVP

Kane and Henry start things off with Henry taking him into the corner for the heavy right hands. That’s reversed so Kane can get the better of things but Punk comes in and gets knocked away without much effort. MVP runs Punk over but gets caught with the running knee in the corner. A rollup gives Punk two and it’s a six man standoff as we take a break. Back with Rey coming in to kick MVP in the head and snap off an anklescissors. It’s quickly off to Punk vs. Big Daddy V, the latter of whom plants Punk without much trouble.

A gorilla press slam makes it even worse and MVP comes in to work on an armbar. Henry gets in some choking but it’s right back to MVP, who gets enziguried down. The hot tag brings in Kane to clean house, including the side slam to drop MVP. The top rope clothesline sets up a moonsault from Rey Mysterio but Henry breaks up the 619. Everything breaks down and Punk knees Henry in the corner, setting up the 619. A chokeslam and the springboard splash are enough to finish Henry.

Rating: B-. This got some time and built up rather well until the hot ending saw the good guys slay a monster. The time is a big factor here as there were multiple stories going on at once and you need the extra few minutes to make that work. They pulled it off here and I had a nice time with the match as a result. Well done and a near hidden gem.

We look at Edge winning the World Title again.

We see Jamie Noble and Michelle McCool on their date at a restaurant, which looks quite a bit like the backstage room at any given WWE TV show. Noble seems to be in a little over his head with the menu and shocked at the prices, but he wants Michelle to meet his granny. Then he tries to order a bunch of French food (fries, onion soup etc) because it’s a French restaurant.

The waiter can’t do that so Noble goes on a bit of a crazed rant (Jean Claude Van-Damme is mentioned) before he is told this is actually an Italian restaurant. Later, after dinner, Noble gives her a gift: Old Spice cologne so she can smell him when he’s gone. Noble talks about hunting and fishing, plus enjoying magic. He tries to pull the tablecloth out and….yeah. Noble: “Check please!”

Festus vs. Deuce

And they’re both Santa Claus. The bell rings and Festus pulls on his beard before unloading in the corner. Deuce (Santa Deuce actually) gets in a knee to the ribs and starts clubbering before taking out the knee. Festus is sent outside and then brought back inside for a chinlock, which of course triggers the comeback (as chinlocks are known to do). Some uppercuts set up a splash and, after Jesse takes out an interfering Deuce, a fireman’s carry into a flapjack is enough to give Festus the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here and the Christmas deal was pretty tacked on. This match didn’t do much for me other than show how weak the tag division is at the moment, as you have Miz and John Morrison running roughshod over the division and Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly as champions on the other show. How good can the divisions really be with that kind of depth?

And now, an address from JBL (he has a podium). This is going to be his final appearance on Smackdown because he is getting back in the ring to deal with Chris Jericho. It will be a bigger comeback than anyone has ever seen and we see a clip of JBL costing Jericho the Raw World Title at Armageddon. All Jericho had to do was apologize for bumping into JBL but instead Jericho treated him as an afterthought. JBL isn’t coming back to be in the opening match in Poughkeepsie because he is going to prove that he is the only wrestling god.

Maryse is hanging Christmas ornaments and wishes us Happy Holidays.

Tazz takes JBL’s place on commentary.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Batista

Batista is challenging…but hang on because Vickie Guerrero has a better idea.

Smackdown World Title: Edge/Edgeheads vs. Batista

Batista is still challenging. Curt Hawkins starts things off for the team and gets pummeled in the corner. An Edge distraction lets Hawkins get in a cheap shot so Ryder can come in. Edge has to break up the Batista Bomb and we take a break. Back with Edge stomping on Batista and dropping an elbow to make it worse. Batista fights up but misses a charge into the post.

That doesn’t seem to mind as he runs Edge over and does the same to the Edgeheads without much trouble. The spinebuster is enough to pin Ryder for the title and yeah I wouldn’t buy it either. Vickie says not so fast as Batista has to pin Edge (points for a false finish) so he pulls Edge back in for a top rope shoulder. The Batista Bomb is loaded up but Hawkins brings in the chair for the DQ.

Rating: C. They kept this fast paced and gave us the (not exactly convincing) fake out but you can only get so much out of Batista beating up Edge’s new goons. Giving Edge lackeys is a good thing though and they should serve him well in the future. For a debut as a team it went well, but this felt like a house show main event rather than something big.

Post match Edge hits a Conchairto and wishes us a Merry Christmas to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Much like the rest of the TV from this week, it was pretty clear that they weren’t going to put in the biggest effort between a pay per view and the holiday break. Throw in the Royal Rumble being about a month away and there was little reason to do much on this show. The six man was good, but the rest of the show was little more than a filler week.

 

 

 

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Smackdown – December 14, 2007: Can They Do That Again?

Smackdown
Date: December 14, 2007
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Armageddon and that means the focus is going to be almost entirely on Batista vs. Edge vs. Undertaker. To be fair, what else do you really need to look at when you have a match that big? There are some other stories here though, so expect more from MVP vs. Rey Mysterio. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Edge (in a sweet Rated R hockey jersey (or something close to one)) to get things going and he brings out the returning Vickie Guerrero, with a stoic Teddy Long pushing the wheelchair. After a clip of Undertaker Tombstoning her, a shaken Vickie talks about how traumatic everything is, because she might need PSYCHIATRIC HELP. There is a triple threat match for the World Title on Sunday and all three participants will be in action tonight. Edge isn’t sure, but Vickie’s decision is final.

Edge vs. Funaki

Edge powers him into the corner to start but gets taken down with a drop toehold. A big boot drops Funaki again though and Edge isn’t looking worried. Funaki gets a boot up in the corner but the tornado DDT is blocked. The Edgecution into the spear gives Edge the easy win.

Post match Vickie gets to announce the other matches for tonight: Batista vs. Kane in a Last Man Standing match and Undertaker vs. Mark Henry/Big Daddy V in a handicap match. Edge is rather pleased and Teddy has to wheel Vickie to the back.

Layla/Victoria vs. Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly

Kenny Dykstra is here with the villains. Before the match, we see Chuck Palumbo blaming Michelle for his loss to Jamie Noble. Victoria goes after Michelle’s arm to start but Michelle climbs the corner to armdrag her way to freedom. It’s off to Kelly, who gets caught in the wrong corner for some Layla boot choking. Kelly slips out of a fireman’s carry and everything breaks down. Dykstra grabs Michelle’s leg so here is Palumbo to chase him off. The distraction lets Victoria grab a rollup for the pin, leaving Michelle annoyed.

Post break Palumbo yells a lot with McCool not being able to calm him down. A fist goes through a wall, with Palumbo insisting that he’s ok.

Rey Mysterio vs. Kenny Dykstra

MVP is on commentary. Dykstra works on the arm to start but Rey runs the corner for a hurricanrana. That’s broken up and Dykstra hits a slingshot fist drop. It’s back to the arm work before Dykstra loads up a Razor’s Edge. That’s fine with Rey, who reversed into a hurricanrana. The 619 sets up Dropping The Dime to give Rey the fast pin.

Post match MVP gets in the ring but Rey cuts him off, leaving MVP to hand Rey the title, saying Rey might have what it takes to be a champion. Then Dykstra offers a distraction so MVP can get in a belt shot to the head.

Kane vs. Batista

Non-title and Last Man Standing. They slug it out to start and fight to the floor early on with Batista running him over. That doesn’t see to mean much to Kane, who is right back up with a clothesline inside. The top rope clothesline connects but Batista is back up as well. Kane heads up again so this time Batista knocks him out of the air before going up as well. This time it’s Kane catching him on top with a superplex and they both barely beat the count.

We take a break and come back with the fight heading outside again with Batista driving him back first into the post. A big boot knocks Batista over the barricade but he comes right back, only to get punched in the face over and over. Batista shrugs that off and hits a spear, which fires Kane up enough for a whip into the steps. That’s still not enough to keep Batista down so Kane loads up a chokeslam onto the steps. Batista breaks that up and hits a spinebuster onto (not through) the announcers’ table. Cue Edge to spear Batista down….but Batista gets up to beat the count and win anyway.

Rating: B-. This was a weird one as they didn’t have any reason to be mad at each other, so instead they just had a power match with some breaks in the middle. You would think that these two could have a passable enough pay per view title match, probably on a show with a bigger main event. For now though, we had a pretty good power match and it worked here, which isn’t bad on about 40 minutes of build.

Post match Edge hits Batista in the back with a chair for a bonus.

Post break, Edge and Vickie are wanting to celebrate but they’ll save that for later. For now though, asprin and coffee, with Teddy being sent to get it.

Raw Rebound.

Festus vs. Miz

Jesse and John Morrison are here, though neither is explaining why Festus doesn’t snap when the bell rings on the way to the ring. The regular bell rings and Festus charges, only to have Miz take the knee out. Miz leverages him to the floor and hits a dropkick through the ropes. Back in and Festus pulls him out of the air, setting up a fireman’s carry into a flapjack for the pin. Short and to the point, which has been the theme of most of the night.

Post match here is Teddy Long for an announcement. Long pulls out a prepared statement, which says that Hornswoggle will meet Great Khali right now.

Great Khali vs. Hornswoggle

Hold on though as here is Finlay with the shillelagh to go after Khali. The beatdown works, but Runjin Singh grabs Hornswoggle, which is enough of a distraction for Khali to lay Finlay out fast.

Michelle McCool, now with a bit of a black eye and hanging out with Kelly Kelly, finds a bunch of flowers and balloons from Jamie Noble. Jamie doesn’t like the eye and thinks it was from Chuck Palumbo, but Michelle insists she got it in a match in Europe. The date is still on though, as Jamie even ironed his underwear. Kelly offers to make it a double date with her and Balls Mahoney. Jamie is happy and even has a dress for Michelle, though insists that she does look good in anything.

Armageddon rundown.

Undertaker vs. Big Daddy V/Mark Henry

Matt Striker is here with the villains. Undertaker gets pounded down into the corner and it’s a running splash from Henry to make it worse. That’s broken up with a pair of big boots but V runs Undertaker over again. Something like a Samoan drop gives V two but Undertaker kicks away at both of them from the mat. The double chokeslam isn’t the best idea though and Undertaker gets knocked down again. Henry splashes Undertaker in the corner and Henry splashes both of them in what might not have been the best move. V tries another splash but only hits buckle, allowing Undertaker to hit a quick chokeslam on Henry for the pin.

Rating: D+. What were you expecting here? There is only so much you can get out of Undertaker vs. either of them and it’s only going to be made worse by having both of them in there at once. The missed charge and a quick finished was about the only way out of this, but it would have been better off as a singles match, just to get rid of some of the clunkiness.

Post match the big beatdown is on, including splashes, elbows and a double torture rack (that’s a finisher for a monster team somewhere). Edge comes in to look on approvingly and mock Undertaker’s pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was another show where it was clear that almost all of the focus was on one match at the pay per view. That does make sense, but with that match entirely set up, it would have been nice to let something else get some attention. The good thing here is that they did have a fresh way to push further towards the triple threat and Kane vs. Batista was pretty good. I’m not sure what they have left after this though, as it is going to need to be something different as we head into the new year.

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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