Smackdown
Date: October 19, 2007
Location: NEC, Birmingham, England
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Cyber Sunday is in less than ten days and that means it is time for WWE to hammer home the matches that they want picked. Last week’s show featured a bit ending as Undertaker interrupted a #1 contenders match and signaled that he wanted the title. World Heavyweight Champion Batista seemed interested so I think we have a pay per view main event. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We look at Undertaker interrupting Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio from last week before signaling that he wanted Batista’s World Title. The match is officially set for Cyber Sunday and YOU can pick the referee!

Great Khali vs. Kane

Wrestlemania rematch and Runjin Singh is here with Khali. Kane slugs away to start but gets punched down. The big boot sets up the nerve hold and Khali powers him down for daring to try a comeback. Kane has to go to the ropes to break the Vice Grip so Khali elbows him in the corner. The right hands get Kane out of the corner/trouble with the top rope clothesline taking Khali down. Khali knocks him outside for daring to try the chokeslam and some choking with a camera cord is enough to draw the DQ.

Rating: D. Yeah what else were you expecting here? This was short and to the point with Kane not being able to get very far against this kind of power. Khali gets some of his heat back by dominating someone like Kane, who is heading to ECW sooner or later anyway. Sometimes some dominance like this is a good thing and that is what we had here.

Post match Kane fights back and takes Khali down with a bell shot but here is Big Daddy V (with Matt Striker) from ECW to interrupt. V crushes Kane with a Ghetto (Samoan) drop and stands tall.

Post break, Striker talks about how awesome V is and declares him the rocket to the top.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Chris Masters

Rematch, because WWE wants to ruin Palumbo (here with Michelle McCool). Masters gets taken to the mat with a headlock takeover to start and Palumbo takes him to the floor for a brief chase. Back in and Palumbo counters a suplex into a delayed version of his own. That doesn’t get him very far so Masters cranks on both arms, which fires Palumbo up for the comeback. A top rope shoulder drops Masters but here is Victoria to jump McCool. The distraction lets Masters grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. Why does WWE think this is the way to go? Masters’ biography is two lines long: he’s strong and he uses a full nelson. That doesn’t make him interesting, and I’m not sure why WWE insists on giving him one feud after another. Giving him Victoria as a sidekick isn’t some saving grace, but rather just window curtains over a brick wall. Palumbo was iffy at best but putting him Masters is like cutting the wheels off of his motorcycle. Nothing to see here, other than Masters continuing to exist around here for whatever reason.

MVP comes up to Matt Hardy in the back and says they have become champions but also friends. Like Michael Jordan and Steve Kerr or Tiger Woods and his caddie! Matt says they are going to have a wrestling, boxing or mixed martial arts match at Cyber Sunday but for tonight, he’s good on going out there on his own. I don’t think Matt’s heart is in this team.

Raw Rebound.

Matt Hardy vs. Finlay

Finlay runs him over for an early two to start so Matt is back up with a headlock. The fans seem to approve of said headlock as the HARDY chants start up until Finlay drives him into the ropes. Some kicks send Finlay to the floor for the dropkick through the ropes from Hardy. Finlay is fine enough to drive him back first into the apron and it’s a half crab going on back inside.

After escaping “that leg hold” (as Cole puts it), Hardy gets clotheslined down and put in a reverse chinlock. That’s broken up as well and Matt starts the comeback, including the running bulldog out of the corner. The Twist of Fate is blocked so Matt goes up, only to get knocked out of the air. Finlay covers and grabs the turnbuckle pad, which is pulled off during the kickout. Cue MVP to prevent Finlay going for the Shillelagh though, allowing Hardy to grab the Twist of Fate for the pin.

Rating: C. Another short match here, with Finlay being his usual brawling self, which is always worth at least a look. The more interesting story here though is Hardy and MVP starting to come together after a long time, which I’m sure will last forever. Still though, it is a story that is somehow still keeping my interest after several months. That’s pretty impressive.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brian Major

Dave Taylor and Brett Major are here too. Feeling out process to start with McIntyre going after the arm but getting taken down into an armbar. Back up and Major’s cross body is countered into a throat first drop across the top rope. McIntyre’s cravate is broken up but Major misses a slingshot dive onto Taylor. After an uppercut, Taylor throws him back in for a Downward Spiral to give McIntyre the pin.

Rating: C-. McIntyre continues to not exactly impress to start but there is only so much to be gained from needing help against the Major Brothers. That being said, they seem to be doing something with him and that is better than nothing. Taylor as the manager is fine for now, but I don’t think he is going to be the best way to go for McIntyre for that much longer.

Video on Undertaker vs. Batista, which makes it feel quite epic. As it should.

JBL is in the ring for an interview with Batista. After hyping up the rivalry with Undertaker and plugging himself as the best choice for referee, JBL brings out Batista to quite the reaction. Batista: “I’m sorry, you’re still talking?” JBL says he’s leading the voting right now but Batista warns him to stay out of the way. That’s fine with JBL, who plugs Batista’s autobiography, which suggests that Batista is afraid of Undertaker. That isn’t true and Batista goes to leave, with JBL calling him a coward. Batista comes back in and shoves him down, leaving JBL looking angry/stunned.

Post break, JBL goes on a very JBL style rant against Batista.

The Diva Search girls do their best Baywatch impression, including running in slow motion. Next week: interrogation.

Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore vs. Deuce N Domino

Cherry is here with Deuce N Domino and this is fallout from the two of three of them beating up Yang last week. Domino and Yang start things off with Yang chopping him to the floor and hitting the big slingshot dive. Moore comes in for some grappling but gets driven into the corner. A side slam gets two on Moore and Deuce grabs a chinlock. That doesn’t last long as Moore escapes and rolls over for the tag off to Yang. Everything breaks down and Moore pulls Domino out to the floor. Yang’s moonsault press finishes Deuce.

Rating: C-. And that’s going to be it for Deuce N Domino. I’m sure they’ll be around for a little longer, but you don’t come back from losing clean to a thrown together cruiserweight team. Deuce N Domino have been steadily falling down the card and now they are about as long as you can be while still being a team. You know, because the Smackdown tag division has so much depth to waste an established team like this one.

Jamie Noble comes in to see Vickie Guerrero and is in pretty rough shape after facing Great Khali last week. Noble suggests that Vickie’s hormones made her make such a decision last week, but he’s willing to help her with anything around here. That sounds good to Vickie, who makes Noble vs. Undertaker for later tonight. Noble’s reaction is the pure panic that you would expect.

Jamie Noble vs. Undertaker

Oddly enough, Undertaker comes out first. Noble hammers away in the corner to start and is promptly chokeslammed. The Tombstone finishes in less than a minute and a half.

Cyber Sunday rundown.

SAVE US!

MVP vs. Rey Mysterio

Non-title. Rey starts fast and loads up an early missed 619. MVP runs him over for an early two but misses a charge and falls out to the floor. The slingshot dive hits MVP but bangs up Rey’s knee at the same time. MVP is fine enough to hit a gorilla press drop over the top and onto the mat as we take a break. Back with Rey fighting out of a front facelock but charging into an overhead belly to belly. Rey’s springboard spinning crossbody gets two and the 619 connects, only to have MVP kick him out of the air for two. Cue Finlay to go after MVP for the DQ.

Rating: C. They were starting to get going when Finlay ran in. That’s a good choice though, as you don’t want either of these two losing before they go into a big match at Cyber Sunday. It also ties into the story from earlier tonight, making this a rather logical match. Maybe not the most satisfying as I wanted to see more of the match, but it did make sense.

Post match Rey takes Finlay down and poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The British shows can be a bit off and that was the case again here. Nothing major seemed to happen here as it’s more about pushing fans to vote for certain choices at Cyber Sunday. It leaves some of these shows being a bit less than enthralling, but hopefully they can push things a bit harder next week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: October 12, 2007
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re done with No Mercy and Batista is still the World Champion, having vanquished Great Khali in the Punjabi Prison. That leaves a vacancy in the #1 contenders slow and there is a good chance we’ll get it covered this week, as Cyber Sunday is coming up. I’m just not sure who it is going to be. Let’s get to it.

Here is No Mercy if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the Punjabi Prison match, with Batista retaining the World Title over Great Khali.

Opening sequence.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Chris Masters

Palumbo has Michelle McCool with him and this is fallout from Masters attacking Palumbo last week. Masters gets driven into the corner to start and some forearms to the back set up a big clothesline. A suplex drops Masters again as this is one sided so far. Masters avoids an elbow though and hits his own suplex for two. The reverse chinlock doesn’t last long as Palumbo is back up, only to get slammed right back down for two more. The Masterlock attempt doesn’t work and Palumbo hammers away. Masters misses a clothesline and gets rolled up for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. I know they’re trying with Palumbo but he’s not exactly stealing the show and a feud with Masters isn’t going to do much better. You’re only going to get so far with such a low level opponent as it makes Palumbo feel like someone who doesn’t matter that much. Palumbo is ok enough, but this feels like such low stakes and it isn’t working.

Post match Palumbo gets back on his motorcycle but Masters jumps him and puts on the Masterlock. Great. A rematch.

The Brothers of Destruction are back tonight.

Video on Big Daddy V.

Jesse And Festus vs. Jay Adams/Conrad Carnes

Jesse explains the idea behind Festus again before locking up with Adams to start. Cole compares it to Spider-Man and Peter Parker, which doesn’t go well with JBL. Jesse takes Adams down rather easily and it’s off to Festus to knock Carnes down. Carnes tries some forearms to the back and gets knocked down with a big boot to the face. It’s back to Jesse for a sunset flip as we cut to Deuce N Domino and Cherry watching in the back. A few shots put Jesse down but get gets over to Festus to clean house. Everything breaks down and a Rocket Launcher top rope shoulder gives Jesse the pin on Carnes.

Rating: C-. Festus is a good idea idea and he looks good when he gets the hot tag but Jesse is just kind of there. What matters here is that there is a new team, as the division has been all of two teams for far too long now. Just having someone fresh in there helps and maybe they can help pick things up a bit.

Deuce N Domino mock Jesse and Festus when Jamie Noble of all people comes in. He isn’t trying to cause any trouble but he heard Jimmy Wang Yang making some suggestive comments about Cherry. Noble whispers them to Deuce and it’s off to Vickie Guerrero’s office, with Noble being dragged off with them.

Brett Major vs. Drew McIntyre

There’s your historical moment. This is McIntyre’s debut and he has Dave Taylor with him, as Brian Major is here with Brett. We get an inset interview with McIntyre, who is applying for dual citizenship and would love to hear some USA chants. McIntyre drives him into the corner to start and grabs a front facelock. Brett reverses into one of his own and takes McIntyre down. An elbow into a legdrop gets two but Taylor hits Brian on the floor. That’s enough of a distraction for McIntyre to grab a rollup pin to complete a rather lackluster debut. McIntyre was just there and had nothing to make himself stand out here, making this pretty dull.

We get some rapid fire questions with the final four Diva Search girls. Next week: Search And Rescue as this stuff gets dumber week after week.

MVP and Matt hardy make sure that they’re both ready for the Brothers of Destruction tonight. They seem to be good.

Brothers of Destruction vs. MVP/Matt Hardy

Non-title. Matt’s waistlock on Kane doesn’t exactly work as Kane elbows him in the face to drop him fast. Undertaker comes in but Old School is broken up, allowing MVP to get in a clothesline from the apron. This goes as well as you would expect, with MVP and Hardy being sent outside as we take an early break.

Back with Kane coming in to beat on MVP but he misses a charge into the corner, allowing MVP to hammer away in the corner. There’s the running big boot and it’s Matt coming back in. Kane seems to like this better as Matt is driven into the other corner for the tag off to Undertaker. It’s back to MVP, who gets dropped by Old School for two before Kane adds the side slam.

The top rope clothesline gives Kane two, setting up Undertaker sending him into the steps (leaving MVP’s eyes bugging out at the pain). The apron legdrop gets two but Kane charges into a knee in the corner, allowing Matt to hit the middle rope elbow. Kane isn’t having this Twist of Fate stuff though and kicks Matt in the face. The second attempt works better for Matt but MVP tags himself in. That’s enough of a delay for Undertaker to come back in and wreck some more things. For some reason MVP decides to kick Undertaker in the face, earning Matt a right hand off the apron. The Tombstone gives Undertaker the pin on MVP.

Rating: C. This was little more than a squash, as Matt and MVP seemed to be more annoying to Undertaker and Kane than anything else. That being said, while they’re the Tag Team Champions, Matt and MVP don’t get along and are hardly a dominant team in the first place. I’m not wild on the champs losing, but getting beaten up by Undertaker and Kane is hardly some stunning upset.

SAVE US!

Raw Rebound.

New interviewer Anastasia Rose talks to Rey Mysterio, who gets to face Finlay in a #1 contenders match tonight. Rey got played by Finlay at No Mercy and he didn’t like that, but he’s down to play dirty too. He and Batista are friends, but he wants the title. If he has to go through Finlay, Rey is ready to fight too.

We recap Teddy Long’s heart attack, though he is now out of intensive care.

Vickie Guerrero tells Jamie Noble that Teddy should be home by next week. Jamie brags about what he did to Jimmy Wang Yang earlier. As a result, Vickie gives him a match of his own….against Great Khali.

Great Khali vs. Jamie Noble

Noble looks terrified to start and gets shoved down with as much effort as you would expect. There’s the big chop and Noble gets tossed away again. The Vice Grip finishes Noble in a hurry.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Deuce

Deuce is annoyed to start and kicks him in the face before choking on the ropes. Yang comes back up with some chops though and a moonsault press gives him the face pin.

Post match Deuce N Domino beat down Yang.

Another video on the Punjabi Prison match. Batista’s leap from one cage to the other is still awesome.

Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay

The winner gets Batista, on commentary, for the title at Cyber Sunday. Hold on though as JBL announces that the fans get to pick the guest referee for the Cyber Sunday title match. The choices are Mick Foley, Steve Austin (pause for the reaction), or JBL himself! Rey hammers Finlay into the corner to start but for some reason he turns around so Finlay can knock him down. Finlay loads up the Shillelagh shot but Rey knocks him down and we take an early break.

Back with Rey going to the apron and turning his back on Finlay AGAIN, earning himself a posting. Finlay grabs a Boston crab with Rey going to the ropes, earning himself something like a swinging Boss Man Slam for two. A headscissors takes Finlay down though and a middle rope DDT gives Rey two of his own. Things get a lot more serious and it turns into a brawl on the mat with the referee not being able to break it up. Said referee is tossed down and that’s a double DQ.

Rating: C+. This feud has been working pretty well so far and I’m curious to see how they move forward at Cyber Sunday. I can’t imagine they go with a triple threat for the title as wedging Batista into this feud doesn’t really feel right. We should be in for a violent showdown at the pay per view and that could be a good one.

That leaves us with no #1 contender….so here is Undertaker to knock both guys down. Undertaker signals he wants the title so the staredown with Batista ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event stuff was just about all that mattered on the card as the rest was mainly about people who don’t matter all that much. McIntyre debuting is little more than a footnote and MVP/Matt Hardy, one of the only interesting stories on the show, was there to make the Brothers of Destruction look good. Smackdown hasn’t been that great in recent weeks and Undertaker vs. Batista is going to need some help to make things that much better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Smackdown
Date: October 5, 2007
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for No Mercy and that means it is time to push home the idea of the Punjabi Prison. Hopefully that is the big finale to the Batista vs. Great Khali feud because there is nothing left for those two to do against each other. Other than that, Vickie Guerrero is in charge and that might end badly for a lot of people. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Vince McMahon announcing that John Cena has torn his pectoral muscle and will be out of action for six to twelve months. That’s going to shake up some plans.

Opening sequence.

Here is Batista to get things going, but first we look at a video on the Punjabi Prison. Batista talks about how he has been in all kinds of matches but never a Punjabi Prison match. He explains the match concept, which doesn’t quite make it sound appealing. To make it worse, he’s going to be locked inside with a giant and Khali has a home field advantage.

Batista knows he’s at a disadvantage but here is Great Khali on the screen to rant. This is translated to there being no way out of the pain and torture inside the Prison with Khali. People inside with him lose their sanity and the will to live. Oh and he’ll lose the title too. Batista isn’t convinced.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Ace Steel

Michelle McCool is here with Palumbo and we hear about Palumbo heading to some big biker rally in Arizona. A rather hard clothesline drops Steel and a Samoan drop puts him down, setting up an overhead belly to belly. There’s a big boot and Full Throttle to give Palumbo the squash win.

Post match Chris Masters comes in to Masterlock Palumbo out. I’m sure this will be a thrilling feud that launches Palumbo to the next level.

Video on Rey Mysterio vs. Great Khali, which I believe was also played at the beginning of the show.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Jamie Noble

They go technical to start with Noble taking him to the mat for a front facelock. Back up and Noble switches to a wristlock but Yang uses the ropes (no break) to reverses into a wristlock on the mat. Noble fights up so Yang fires off some chops before getting two off a legsweep. A Kimura is countered with a belly to back suplex to put Yang down as commentary keeps recapping Noble’s issues with Hornswoggle.

Some choking on the ropes keeps Yang in trouble and Noble asks what his name is. Whatever his name might be, he grabs a cravate, which has JBL going into an explanation of the logic behind the hold. Yang flips out of a belly to back suplex for two off a crossbody but Noble is right back with a cobra clutch. That’s broken up too and Yang kicks him in the face, setting up a middle rope dropkick. Yang’s moonsault press misses though and Noble hits the fireman’s carry gutbuster for the pin.

Rating: C-. This is a good example of what happens when you spend months (if not years) treating wrestlers like nothing and then suddenly expect them to matter. The cruiserweights have been treated as absolutely nothing for a long time now but we’re supposed to care about them because they might be in line for a chance at a meaningless title. The match was fine, but it was an ice cold match and there was no hiding it.

The Diva Search girls had an obstacle course on the beach. In case you wanted to know their slip n slide or hula hooping skills. J. Kim is eliminated.

Tag Team Titles: MVP/Matt Hardy vs. Deuce N Domino

Deuce N Domino, with Cherry, are challenging because these teams are the tag division. Hold on though as MVP wants to have a pushup contest before the match. As expected, after a lot of trash talk, MVP cheats to cost Matt the contest by grabbing Matt’s arm. As for the match, Matt suplexes Domino to start and hands it off to MVP for an armbar. It’s back to Matt, who is driven into the wrong corner so Deuce can come in and forearm Matt’s back.

That earns him the middle rope elbow to the back and Deuce N Domino are both sent outside. MVP and Matt exchange elbows to the two of them and we take a break. Back with Matt fighting out of a front facelock and getting over to MVP. The comeback doesn’t last long as Domino low bridges MVP to the floor to put him in trouble for a change. A slam into a knee drop lets Deuce talk trash, which has JBL on a rant about not staying focused.

Domino puts on a reverse chinlock with a knee in MVP’s back before taking him outside for a back first ram into the apron. All the back work sets up an arm crank back inside before going to a more logical Boston crab. With that broken up, MVP finally kicks Domino away and the hot tag brings in Matt. Cole: “Matt Hardy is a literal ball of fire!” No Cole, he isn’t. The Side Effect hits the illegal Deuce and MVP hits Domino low, setting up the Twist of Fate to retain the titles.

Rating: C. The match got a lot of time but there are only so many ways to get excited over seeing these teams fight. We have covered this multiple times now and it is losing the limited steam that it had in the first place. Matt vs. MVP is still interesting, but they really need some other teams to face to keep their title matches fresh.

MVP and Matt go to leave but Kane pops up for his match, plus a staredown at MVP for last week’s low blow.

Kane vs. Kenny Dykstra

Joined in progress with Kane driving him into the corner for some right hands. An elbow to the heck keeps Dykstra in trouble and a big boot cuts off the comeback attempt. Dykstra gets in some kicks to the ribs but his suplex is blocked without much trouble. Kane hits a dropkick for two but Dykstra goes for the legs. That has a grand total of no effect as Kane is right back with the side slam. There’s the top rope clothesline to set up the chokeslam to end Dykstra.

Rating: D+. Almost a total squash here and it wasn’t exactly an entertaining one. Kane’s stuff still looks good but it is a little hard to get behind anything he does. He has been stuck in the same midcard/upper midcard loop for so long that there is little reason to get invested in him. A squash of Dykstra didn’t exactly change that.

We look back at Undertaker destroying Mark Henry in short order last week.

We look back at Teddy Long and Kristal’s messed up wedding.

The yet to be named Krissy Vaine is in Vickie Guerrero’s office, where Vickie explains that Teddy Long is out of his coma but in no condition to return. Matt Hardy and MVP come in, with MVP thinking Matt needs to face Undertaker. Instead, Vickie makes the two of them vs. the Brothers of Destruction. Of note: Vickie said “excuse me” when MVP was talking a lot.

We look at John Cena’s injury, which is going to put him on the shelf for six months (twelve is no longer mentioned).

Tale of the tape for Rey Mysterio vs. Great Khali.

SAVE US, now featuring the word “bookshelves”.

Jesse and Festus vs. Mike Tolar/Chad Collyer

Before the bell, Jesse explains that Festus turns into a different person when the bell rings. The bell does ring and Festus gets serious, including a clothesline to Tolar. A double clothesline takes both of them down and it’s off to Jesse for a running bulldog. Collyer manages to take Jesse down but misses an elbow, allowing the hot tag off to Festus. House is cleaned and an over the shoulder sitdown gutbuster finishes Collyer, sending Festus back to his normal state.

Rating: C. I’ve heard of worse gimmicks than a split personality brought on by the bell ringing, though it might not have the longest shelf life. Jesse is fine enough as the talker who wrestles the basic part of the match and it isn’t like there is a wealth of tag teams running around at the moment. The Festus stuff is kind of interesting, but we’ll have to see how long it can last.

No Mercy rundown.

Video on Great Khali vs. Rey Mysterio from last year.

Rey Mysterio vs. Great Khali

Rey is wise to stand back at the bell before getting in some rather worthless strikes. Khali hits a single clothesline to take over and a hard whip sends Rey into the corner. We hit the dreaded nerve hold but Rey is in the ropes. He comes up striking away, only to get kicked in the face for a trip to the floor. Khali’s big chop only hits steps though and Rey manages a 619 around the post (JBL: “You gotta be kidding me.”). Cue Finlay to jump Rey for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Rey’s comeback was starting to get somewhere but they needed to cut it off when they did as it couldn’t go much further. You don’t want Khali selling for someone of Rey’s size for very long but it leaves people wondering just how far Rey could have gone here. The problem continues to be watching Khali do anything, as he is so slow and lumbering that even the basics are pretty uninteresting.

Post match the beatdown is on until Batista makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show really needs something fresh as almost nothing on here is remotely interesting. That isn’t going to last long and it isn’t really working here. What we got wasn’t the worst, but it was so uninteresting that I had a hard time getting through the show. Maybe that changes after No Mercy, but it needs to change pretty soon.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Smackdown
Date: September 28, 2007
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re just over a week away from No Mercy and the big Smackdown match is going to be Batista defending the World Title against the Great Khali inside the Punjabi Prison. I’m sure that won’t be a complete disaster as Khali can barely get through a regular match, but stranger things have happened. Now to build the rest of the show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.We open with a recap of last week’s wedding between Teddy Long and Kristal, capped off by the traditional groom’s heart attack.

Vickie Guerrero comes in to see Vince McMahon and tells him that Teddy has been in a coma for a week and has a history of heart disease. Vince says the show must go on and makes Vickie the new General Manager. Vickie leaves so here is Finlay, who has some things in common with McMahon. They’re both Irish, but they also both have to deal with Hornswoggle. They’ll work on that later.

Opening sequence.

Victoria vs. Torrie Wilson

Victoria takes her down into a front facelock to start as we hear about various things involving looking at Torrie. Back up and Torrie sends her into the ropes and grabs a rollup for two. Cole talks about how much Torrie has improved in the ring but JBL says who cares as long as we can look at her. A snap suplex gives Victoria two but Torrie is back with a headscissors and clothesline. Torrie tries a sunset flip out of the corner but Victoria sits down on it and grabs the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t much of a match, but Cole is right that Torrie has improved in the ring. She’s never going to be the top worker in the division, but she can work a decent enough basic match. The match wasn’t terrible and given how some of the division can be, this was at least passable.

Post match another blonde (looks a good bit like Torrie) comes in and stomps Torrie down, before bending her back around the post to leave her laying.

It’s time for MVP’s VIP Lounge, complete with a bunch of people sitting in on the set. MVP talks about Teddy Long having a heart attack after bringing so much heartache to WWE. Long’s biggest accomplishment is bringing MVP to WWE with this big of a contract and that is because he is better than everyone else. Tonight happens to be a special night for MVP, because it is his one year anniversary around here.

Now he has captured the Tag Team Titles with Matt Hardy…who comes out to interrupt, complete with a gold bottle. Matt acknowledges that even though it isn’t his thing, the VIP Lounge is a big deal. That being said, he knew he had to be here because MVP is his partner and his homie. Matt even has a gift for him in the form of a highlight video of MVP’s first year in WWE. You can imagine all of the horrible things that happen to MVP in said video, which is complete with a lame pop song.

MVP snaps about the video but Matt says he was just ribbing him. Matt calms him down with the bottle, which is popped open and poured, which has MVP calmed down a bit. The toast though sees Matt insulting MVP, who throws Matt out. Hold on though as Matt has one more gift: MVP gets to face Kane tonight!

Chuck Palumbo vs. Kenny Dykstra

Dykstra kicks him down and fires off some boots to the back before we hit the chinlock. Palumbo fights up with an elbow to the face and a backdrop as the pace picks up fast. A middle rope dive is countered into an overhead belly to belly to send Dykstra flying. The Full Throttle finishes for Palumbo in a hurry.

Rating: D+. It was another short match that didn’t have time to go anywhere, but what were you expecting from Palumbo vs. Dykstra? This match wasn’t designed to be some kind of a classic, though it isn’t a good sign when it is the second match in a row that would fit that description. Palumbo isn’t going very far around here, but he’s good enough for a lower card guy.

Steve Austin still things the Marine is pretty snazzy.

Jesse and Festus are ready to debut next week, with Jesse promising Festus will come to life when the bell rings.

Commentary explains the Punjabi Prison and look at Great Khali destroying Batista.

Batista joins us in the back for an interview and says he has no idea how a Punjabi Prison match works. JBL interprets this as him being scared but Batista says Khali will have to take the title from his cold, dead hands. The champ didn’t have much to say here.

Kane vs. MVP

Non-title and MVP starts by cranking on the arm, only to get thrown down by straight power. Some uppercuts in the corner look to set up the big boot but MVP bails to the floor for a breather. That’s enough for MVP to snap Kane’s throat across the top but Kane runs him over again. Kane charges into an elbow in the corner though and a suplex is countered into a DDT to give MVP two.

A neckbreaker gets two more and we hit the…neck pull? Either way, MVP lets him go and Kane is back up with an elbow to the face. The top rope clothesline misses though and MVP gets two more. We hit the arm crank for a bit before Kane is back up and kicking away at the ribs. The chokeslam is blocked and they hit heads for a double knockdown and a break.

Back with MVP cranking on both arms before a running boot in the corner connects for another two. Some running corner clotheslines into the side slam give Kane two of his own but MVP breaks up another top rope clothesline. The break up is broken up though and now the clothesline can connect. The chokeslam is loaded up but MVP kicks him low for the DQ.

Rating: B. This started to roll near the end as MVP kept cutting off everything Kane threw at him. It was a question of how long MVP could hang in there before Kane finally caught him with something, which caused MVP to wrap it up with the DQ. Kane is having a rather nice run at the moment and I can always go for more of his good version.

The Diva Search girls had a limbo contest with Taryn winning. Lyndy is eliminated, crushing the dreams of dozens.

JBL brings out Rey Mysterio for an interview. He looks down at Rey and says Rey’s machismo is flat out stupidity, but Rey asks what’s up with the hatred. Does it bug JBL when he is here interviewing Rey instead of someone interviewing him? OF COURSE IT DOES, because JBL has twice the talent as Rey. That’s cool with Mysterio, who tells JBL to put up or shut up. JBL brings up Rey’s match against Great Khali next week and shoves him down, only to have Rey come back. The 619 is loaded up but here is Finlay with the Shillelagh to knock Rey cold.

Hornswoggle is in Vickie Guerrero’s office, where Vickie says that the Cruiserweight Title is making him a target. It’s even worse because he is now a McMahon, so she is making him abdicate the title. Hornswoggle hands it over, and that’s that for the belt. Fair enough, as it isn’t like the title has meant anything in years.

Jamie Noble vs. Shannon Moore

They start fast and head outside, with Moore sending him back first into the apron. Noble takes him off the top and grabs the Boston crab, sending Moore straight to the ropes. A swinging neckbreaker gets Moore out of trouble and a legdrop gives him two. Noble is back with something like a reverse Alabama Slam out of the corner, setting up a gutbuster for the pin.

Rating: C. Commentary kept hyping up the future of the cruiserweight division and if this is as good as it gets, they can’t get rid of the title fast enough. The division has not mattered for years now and the Hornswoggle reign was all the proof you could have needed. This was another completely watchable match, albeit one that felt like it meant a grand total of nothing.

Great Khali, through Runjin Singh, promises to get the title back from Batista.

No Mercy rundown.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Henry goes straight to the floor to start (and might have gotten his leg caught in the ropes on the way out) and the fight is on. Back in and Undertaker gets up a boot in the corner before striking away. Old School is pulled out of the air and it’s Henry getting to hammer away even more. Undertaker sits up to avoid a big elbow though and there’s the jumping clothesline. The chokeslam finishes Henry quick.

Rating: C-. This felt like a way to write Henry off of the show for awhile as Undertaker shrugged off most of what Henry threw at him and then beat him with the chokeslam. I’m not sure what is next for Henry, but beating a monster like this is not the best sign for his future. Undertaker is probably back in the title picture sooner rather than later, as it is hard to keep him away from the belt for that long.

Overall Rating: D+. This was one of the lamer Smackdowns in a long time as it felt like everyone was taking a week off. The only star power was Undertaker vs. Mark Henry in a match that felt like a post show dark match wound up on television. Maybe they were just taking a week off here, but there was almost nothing worth seeing here outside of Kane vs. MVP. I’d like to believe it’s a one off situation, but this wasn’t a good show.

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Smackdown
Date: September 21, 2007
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re done with Unforgiven and that means we have a new World Champion as Batista defeated the Great Khali and Rey Mysterio to win the title back. Batista might be in some fast trouble though as he has to deal with the returning Undertaker, who has defeated Mark Henry and wants the title as well. On top of that (maybe), it’s time for Kristal and Teddy Long to get married. Let’s get to it.

Here is Unforgiven if you need a recap.

It’s the season premiere and Maria is our guest host, including some guests: the Ying Yang Twins, plus Coach and Vince McMahon. Maria congratulates Vince on his son Hornswoggle, who is NOT here tonight. Coach would rather talk to the Twins, who he thinks are country singers. Yang: “I like Hornswoggle more than I like him.”

Opening sequence.

Here is Batista for a chat and he is very excited about his new suit and his new title. He congratulates Rey Mysterio and knows Rey will be World Champion again, but for now, Great Khali is cashing in his rematch clause so there will be a Punjabi Prison match at No Mercy. Cue Mark Henry to say he is going to end Undertaker’s career next week but he can take Batista’s title whenever he wants. Batista: “You are as stupid as you are ugly.” The challenge seems to be accepted.

Maria is dancing with the Ying Yang Twins when Jeff Hardy comes in. The Twins seem to like the Intercontinental Title, which Yang gets to hold. Then Jeff dances.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Jamie Noble

Jamie takes over to start but Yang is right back up with a standing hurricanrana. Noble knocks him down again and goes after the arm before elbowing Yang in the head. The armbar goes on but Yang is back up with an enziguri, only to get pulled into a Fujiwara armbar. The rope is grabbed but hold on as Noble sees Hornswoggle’s hat at ringside. The hat is on Shannon Moore though, and the distraction lets Yang hit the moonsault press for the pin.

Rating: C-. Well that was quick and mostly harmless, at least until they got to the Noble Hates Hornswoggle of course, because that is the kind of dumb idea that WWE keeps obsessing over. That being said, it isn’t like there is anything else going on in the cruiserweight division so this is about all we can get. That should explain the problem with the division as well as anything else.

Matt Hardy and MVP’s latest competition is throwing footballs through a tire. MVP has to cheat to survive so Matt says he can win at anything, including wrestling. We’ll worry about that later though as they have a tag match next.

Undertaker is back next week.

MVP/Matt Hardy vs. Deuce N Domino

Non-title and Cherry is here with Deuce N Domino. Matt tags MVP in to start and it’s a suplex to put Deuce down. A double elbow is loaded up but MVP switches to a solo clothesline instead. There’s a double suplex for the same but the fans seem to be more about Hardy than anyone else. Deuce takes MVP down into the corner though and we take a break. Back with MVP having to fight out of a chinlock but getting knocked into the corner to keep up the beating.

A side kick misses though and MVP is back with a faceplant for a breather. Domino can’t cut off the hot tag again and it’s back to Matt to clean house. The middle rope elbow to the back of the neck drops Domino and a corner bulldog/clothesline combination takes both of them down for two. The Side Effect drops Domino but Matt loads up the Twist of Face and, after walking into the corner so MVP can tag himself in, gets rather annoyed. MVP gets knocked off the apron so Matt hits a neckbreaker, only to get rolled up to give Domino the pin.

Rating: C. The struggles continue as the story continues, which is not a bad thing. Matt and MVP don’t get along in the first place and it is good to see a regular team managing to beat them. You can only get so far with a team that can’t stand each other beating regular teams so this was the smart way to go.

Post match, arguing ensues.

Teddy Long’s family and friends are ready for the marriage, with Butch Reed not being sure how Teddy got a woman like Kristal. And how is she in various situations? That’s too far for Teddy, because his grandson and the reverend are here too. Actually it’s not that bad, because the reverend would like to know too. Teddy says he is going to make Kristal holla, holla holla.

Here is Rey Mysterio for a chat in the ring with Michael Cole. Rey says he’s glad to be back in the ring with the Smackdown fans and he congratulates Batista on winning the World Title. We see a recap of the Rey vs. Chavo Guerrero feud but John Bradshaw Layfield gets up to yell at Cole and Rey.

JBL doesn’t want Rey to be asked a bunch of lame questions like this while he pays homage to the 619. Rey brings up that he ended JBL’s career and is ready to fight right now. That seems to work for JBL but he can’t do that with his broadcasting contract. He does know someone who loves to fight though, so here is Finlay. A cheap shot leaves Rey laying and Finlay leaves as JBL returns to commentary.

Raw Rebound.

Maria is still hanging out with the Ying Yang Twins when Jimmy Wang Yang comes in and seems to know who they are. Carlito comes in but before he can say anything, Chuck Palumbo comes in to rev his engine, which Maria seems to like.

The Diva Search girls play beach volleyball for a long time. Naomi is the first girl cut, even though they haven’t actually been in the arena yet. Next time: limbo.

The bridal party meets Jagged Edge, who will be performing at the wedding. Autographs are given out and we get a preview of the song, with Kristal getting chills.

Mark Henry vs. Batista

Non-title. Henry powers him into the corner to start but Batista is back with a running clothesline. Back up and Henry sends Batista into the corner again and this time it’s a running splash to put Batista down. We hit the chinlock with a nerve hold, which is at least a slight twist on the norm. Batista fights up and hits a middle rope shoulder, setting up the spinebuster….and here is Great Khali. Batista goes after him but stops to spear Henry on the floor, drawing the double countout.

Rating: C-. This was about as good of a match as they were going to be able to have given the situation, as you don’t want Henry to lose again and Batista can’t be losing as the new champion. Khali interfering makes sense too and now we get to set up their singles title match, even in the wacky Punjabi Prison. They didn’t have time to get too bad here either, and that’s about as smart of an idea as they could have had.

Post match Khali beats up Batista without much trouble.

Undertaker is still back next week.

It’s time for the wedding, with the reverend (Bruce Bruce) and a bunch of guests, including Vince McMahon, in attendance. With all of the wrestling guests sitting down, Hornswoggle pops out from underneath the ring with a chair and a phone book to sit on. Post match, Teddy Long comes to the ring and the bridesmaids/groomsmen come out as well. Kristal comes out and, after falling on the steps, gets in the ring for the ceremony.

Jagged Edge comes out to perform a song, which everyone seems to enjoy (including a bunch of hands waving, though Vince just bobs back and forth). Hold on though as here is Jillian Hall for a song of her own, which goes on despite everyone’s protests. Eventually some women pick her up and carry her out (Reverend: “Praise Jesus.”) but hold on again as Hornswoggle starts beating up Coach.

With that under control, the reverend is ready for the vows but here is the Godfather, with his ladies, to interrupt. Godfather offers Teddy one more good time on the Train but Teddy is happy here. Ron Simmons pops in with an annoyed version of the catchphrase before Godfather leaves….with JBL joining him in a funny bit. Then all of the guests go too, which raises a few questions.

Teddy says his vows and Kristal is about to do the same but Hornswoggle runs into the ring. Coach and Vince chase him to the back, leaving Kristal to say I Do. Teddy is about to do the same…and falls over holding his heart. Everyone panics as medics come in to give Teddy oxygen to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Pretty meh show overall, as the big ending is only so interesting. I remember watching this live and not being overly impressed or interested in where it was going. It probably means Vickie Guerrero takes over, which should make for the latest lame boss. Other than that, we get a few more weeks of build towards the Unforgiven rematches, meaning more Batista vs. Khali. Lucky us.

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Smackdown
Date: September 14, 2007
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 5,200
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

It is the go home show for Unforgiven and we are now set for a triple threat World Title match. Great Khali will be defending against Rey Mysterio and now Batista, which sounds like a way to keep Batista vs. Great Khali from wrecking a show. Hopefully we can get some more good stuff going this week because Unforgiven could use the hype. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look back at Rey Mysterio defeating Chavo Guerrero last week, only to get wrecked by Great Khali after. Batista came in for the save, with Teddy Long adding him to the Unforgiven title match to end the show.

Opening sequence.

Michelle McCool vs. Victoria

Chuck Palumbo, with his motorcycle, and Kenny Dykstra are here too. Victoria drives her into the corner to start but gets caught in a headlock. With that not working for Victoria, she slams Michelle face first into the match and grabs something close to a Muta Lock. A trip to the floor goes badly for Michelle but they come back inside to chop it out. Some dropkicks have Victoria in trouble but Dykstra goes after McCool. That means Palumbo goes in after her and we take a break. I think you know what that means.

Rating: C-. This was a slight step above the usual catfight stuff that you might see but it wasn’t exactly good. What matters is that they are trying and I’ll take this as a bit better of a story than what we usually get. That being said, there is no particular endgame for all of these people and that has been a problem for a long time now. With no title around here, what is the point of all of these fights?

Chuck Palumbo/Michelle McCool vs. Kenny Dykstra/Victoria

Joined in progress with Palumbo knocking Dykstra into the corner and hitting a delayed vertical suplex for two. Dykstra gets driven into another corner but he gets a boot up to cut off a charging Palumbo. It’s off to work on Palumbo’s leg, with Dykstra cranking away. Palumbo fights out without much trouble and punches him down, setting up the tag to Victoria. Michelle comes in to kick Victoria down for the pin as Palumbo takes care of Dykstra.

Rating: C-. Adding the men didn’t help much and the match wasn’t all that great in the first place. Palumbo is doing what he can but there is a limit to what he is capable of doing. Throw in Dykstra not being all that interesting either and this was only going to be so good. The women were barely involved, making the mixed tag a bit of a wasted stipulation.

Jesse and Festus come in to see Teddy Long, who is glad they’re here but tonight is his bachelor party. Some women come in to dance with Teddy, plus his son and some wrestlers, including Butch Reed. Dancing ensues.

A rather large druid is in the ring and he unmasks as Mark Henry. This proves that Undertaker isn’t the only one who can do hocus pocus, but his power is even greater. We see a video of Henry wrecking Undertaker, sending him away a few months ago. That is real power….and then the Undertaker video takes over the feed again. He’s back at Unforgiven, as we have known for about a month now. Back in the arena, Undertaker’s symbol lights on fire and Undertaker’s voice says Henry will rest in peace on Sunday.

The Diva Search is coming back, complete with the same video from Raw. There is even a beach volleyball competition up on WWE.com.

Matt Hardy has MVP beaten at chess but MVP sneezes and breaks up the board. That’s ok too, as Matt has gotten MVP a match, which happens to be next.

Shannon Moore vs. Jamie Noble

Fallout from Noble losing his mind over Hornswoggle. Moore slugs away in the corner to start before sending Noble’s hand into the buckle. The armbar keeps Noble in trouble as the fans think that something sucks. Noble slips out and hits him in the face, setting up a double underhook pull. Moore rolls his way to freedom and hits a basement dropkick for a breather, only to get backdropped to the apron. That’s fine with Moore, who sends him outside for a bit flip dive off the top. Back in and a Rock Bottom backbreaker gives Noble two but Moore thinks he sees Hornswoggle. The distracted Noble gets rolled up for the pin.

Rating: C. The action was good because these two are that good at what they do, but at the same time, there is only so much that you can do when the main story is all about one of them chasing a leprechaun. I’m not sure I can picture the feud lasting that much longer, but this Noble vs. Hornswoggle deal has been a rough watch for a long time now.

Kristal is worried about the wedding but Vickie Guerrero convinces her to go into a locker room…where her bachelorette party is waiting on her. Wedding night attire is given.

MVP doesn’t want to have his match but is told he has to.

Domino vs. MVP

Cherry, Deuce and Matt Hardy are here too. MVP is in street clothes and strikes away to start before hitting a facebuster. Domino knocks him down though and hits a legdrop for an early two. We hit the neck crank so Matt tries to start an MVP chant but gets SUCKS as a response. The chant does start a comeback but Domino blasts him with a clothesline to cut him off again. A knee and an elbow get two and a butterfly suplex sets up a chinlock. Another MVP/SUCKS chant off brings MVP back up but Deuce offers a distraction. Matt takes care of him but the distraction lets Domino grab a small package for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a weird one but it is nice to see MVP getting back in the ring for a slightly more physical match. It felt like he was wrestling a regular match here, with the time getting extended a little more than last time. At the same time, it was cool to see the Matt vs. MVP story continuing, as it is starting to get more interesting week by week.

Post match Matt says he and MVP will retain the titles at Unforgiven, so let’s have that chant one more time!

We see the opening video again.

Raw Rebound.

Back to the bachelorette party, where Kristal, now in her wedding night clothes, gets a delivery. You know it’s Big Dick Johnson before I even say it, so we’ll just move on with the visuals you are probably expecting.

Great Khali, through Runjin Singh, promises to retain the title with a double Vice Grip. That’s pretty specific.

Kane vs. Finlay

Belfast Brawl, meaning street fight. Finlay jumps him from behind to start and the fight is on outside. Kane gets sent into the barricade but punches Finlay back down and takes it inside. An exchange of elbows to the head goes to Finlay and he stakes the leg out to put Kane down for…well zero actually. Kane pulls him away from the ropes for a crash and knocks Finlay outside for a big crash.

Finlay isn’t about to have that and dropkicks him through the ropes on the way back in. A clothesline on the floor puts Kane down again and Finlay sends him arm first into the steps. Kane gets in a shot of his own though and we take a break. Back with Finlay staying on the arm, which is the kind of logic that you don’t get often enough. The bad arm is slammed onto the apron and a chair shot to said arm makes it even worse.

Some kicks to the arm have Kane down in the corner and it’s time to take a turnbuckle pad off. Kane slips behind him though, only to miss a charge into the buckle. The armbar goes on again before the shoulder goes into the post as this has been almost one sided. Kane manages a big boot to knock him outside though and that’s good for a needed breather. It’s time to rip off some of the barricade pad, allowing Kane to drop Finlay face first.

Finlay gets sent into the announcers’ table as well but comes back with a thumb to the eye. Back in and Kane hits the corner clothesline, setting up the side slam. There’s the top rope clothesline (Cole: “It’s like getting hit by a jumbo jet!” No Cole, it isn’t.) and they head back to the floor for a bit boot to Finlay’s jaw. The steps are brought inside but Finlay hits him in the ribs with a chair. The Celtic Cross is enough to give Finlay the pin.

Rating: B. This is the kind of match that works so well for the two of them as they are both great at this style. It was all about hitting each other really hard and that works well for a pair of brawlers. It’s rare enough to see Kane take a clean loss and on top of that, it is nice for Finlay to get one of the bigger wins of his career.

Teddy Long and Kristal, both in various states of undress, realize that they are both up to various things. Glares are exchanged but everyone shows up, allowing Ron Simmons to hit the catchphrase. Dancing ensues to end a funny bit.

Unforgiven rundown.

Batista vs. Great Khali

Non-title. Batista slugs away to start but gets shoved down. There’s the big chop to put Batista down again and it’s time to stomp away in the corner. A clothesline looks to set up the Vice Grip but Batista blocks it with straight power. They head outside with Batista driving him into the post before heading back inside for a spinebuster. The threat of a Batista Bomb is countered with a backdrop though and the Vice Grip goes on. Batista goes straight to the ropes but Khali won’t let him go and that’s a DQ.

Rating: C-. Given that we ware less than two days away from these two having another bad match at Unforgiven, this was about the only way they could have gone. They could only do so much here as Khali is still that limited, just in case you needed more proof that it is time to move on. We get the concept already, so have Batista slay the dragon and get the title back.

Post match the hold stays on until Khali finally lets go to end the show (albeit after a great shot of a terrified fan) with Batista vibrating on the mat.

Overall Rating: B-. The Belfast Brawl carried this thing and was one of the better TV matches in a long time. What mattered was making me care about the Smackdown half of the pay per view though and this show only kind of made that happen. The main event isn’t interesting as it is either someone finally stopping Khali or the reign continuing, neither of which is all that exciting. It will be a relief if he loses the title, but it is a beginning rather than the big moment. That’s for Sunday though, and at least we had a good TV show to get us there.

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Smackdown
Date: September 7, 2007
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We are almost up to Unforgiven and now we have a bit of an odd main event. This time around, Great Khali will be defending against Rey Mysterio, which kind of leaves Batista out in the cold. Other than that, we might be seeing some wrestlers written off of television for a month after the latest steroid scandal. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Rey Mysterio winning a mini tournament last week to become the new #1 contender.

Opening sequences.

It’s time for the VIP Lounge with MVP having the US Title and the Tag Team Title on a table. After talking about how great he is, we get straight to the guest with Matt Hardy. MVP brags about giving Matt all of his success and shows a clip of MVP getting the pin to win the Tag Team Titles last week. We see another clip of MVP in his locker room after winning the titles when Matt came in, decked MVP, and took his belt. Matt thinks he looked like Evander Holyfield out there but he still wants another US Title shot. MVP starts getting things cleared out but it’s not for a US Title shot. Instead, MVP has gotten Matt his own singles match.

Deuce vs. Matt Hardy

Domino, Cherry and MVP are here and Matt is in street clothes. Joined in progress with Deuce hitting a shoulder in the corner but Matt shoves him out of the corner. A clothesline gives Matt two and he strikes away, only to get caught in a hot shot. Deuce grabs the neck crank before a fist drop sets up a reverse chinlock. Make that a front facelock as there is a lot of locking going on.

Back up and Matt cuts off a superplex attempt, setting up the middle rope elbow to the back of the neck. There’s a double clothesline to put both of them down but Domino offers a distraction. MVP shoves him into the ring and with the referee distracted, trips Deuce down. The Twist of Fate finishes for Matt without much trouble.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here but Matt/MVP is growing on me. I know MVP is still limited in what he can do in the ring but this is a nice little change instead of having them feud with over the US Title. I’m sure that’s coming down the line, but this is starting to work, at least for the time being.

Jamie Noble has an AKME Leprechaun Trap to catch Hornswoggle, complete with a trail of Lucky Charms. Shannon Moore doesn’t know what to think. You know, this company will mock WCW endlessly, but this was a dumb deal when Chavo Guerrero had an Acme Eddie Trap and it’s dumber now to see it done again.

Rey Mysterio is facing Chavo Guerrero in an I Quit match later tonight so we look at their first WWE match back in 2002. Of note, Tazz says “Six Nineteen.”

Chuck Palumbo vs. Kenny Dykstra

Victoria is here with Dykstra, so Palumbo has Michelle McCool on the back of his motorcycle. Who would have thought she would have a thing for bikers? JBL: “She could be hit with an ugly stick and still be hot.” Palumbo grabs a belly to back suplex to start but Dykstra goes after the arm. That doesn’t last long as Palumbo hits a clothesline and a shoulder as McCool beats up Victoria for going near the motorcycle. The Full Throttle finishes Dykstra in a hurry.

Vickie Guerrero and Kristal are excited for the wedding when Teddy Long comes in. Teddy has the new Jagged Edge CD and has gotten them to perform at the wedding. Kristal’s mom calls so she leaves, with Vickie suggesting that Long give Vince McMahon the CD. It’s called the Baby Making Project after all.

Chavo Guerrero cost Rey Mysterio the World Title at Great American Bash 2006.

Batista/Kane vs. Great Khali/Finlay

Runjin Singh is here with the villains. Batista and Finlay start things off and they actually go with some grappling to start. A headlock takeover puts Finlay down and an atomic drop makes it worse. Finlay is sent in the corner and Batista wants Khali but he gets a break instead. Back with Finlay being taken into the corner again so Kane can take drop him for two more. A suplex gives Kane two and now it’s Khali coming in for the battle of the giants. Singh offers a distraction though and Finlay low bridges Kane out to the floor.

Back in and Finlay stomps Kane down in the corner, setting up the chinlock. It’s back to Khali for the nerve hold, followed by some forearms to cut off a comeback attempt. The enziguri staggers Kane but Finlay pulls Batista down and drives him into the apron. Back in and Finlay sends Kane’s shoulder into the post but Batista breaks up the Shillelagh shot. The double clothesline knocks Khali outside and it’s a chokeslam to finish Finlay.

Rating: C-. This was working well enough when Finlay was in there but then you had the Khali parts to bring it right back down. You can only get so far with the claw holds and the nerve holds but it’s about all Khali has. That makes for some pretty rough stretches when he needs to fill in time on a fifteen minute match. The rest of the match worked out, but dang the (already limited) shine is already coming off of Khali.

Hornswoggle gets the cereal and leaves the Cruiserweight Title in the trap. Jamie Noble goes to get it and Hornswoggle traps him. This story is dumb.

Rey Mysterio beat Chavo Guerrero at No Mercy 2006 in a Falls Count Anywhere match.

Jesse and Festus are here and find….a talking box! It seems to be named Jamie Noble.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Hornswoggle

Noble is challenging and isn’t here to start. The referee starts the count and here is Noble….who gets counted out at the last second. The struggle continues.

Long recap of the McMahon Family drama on Raw.

Commentary talks about what happened with the McMahons but an Undertaker video hacks the feed. Then a druid appears in the ring so here is Mark Henry. Instead of going after the druid, Henry waits and the lights go out. Undertaker’s music plays and that’s it.

Unforgiven rundown.

Here is Chavo Guerrero with a chair, which he promises will make Rey Mysterio scream again tonight.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

I Quit match. Chavo wins a slugout to start and knocks Rey into the corner so Rey takes a breather on the floor. It’s already time for the chair but Chavo keeps missing, allowing Rey to kick him in the head. A running hurricanrana sends Chavo over the announcers’ table but he’s fine enough to send Rey into the post. Chavo goes to drive the knee into the chair, only to get sent face first into it instead. Rey loads up the springboard splash but Chavo pelts the chair at him to cut that off fast. Neither will quit though and we take a break.

Back with Chavo holding something like a one legged Liontamer until Rey fights out. That earns him a toss underneath the ropes and out to the floor. Now the chair can connect with the knee and Rey starts screaming. The chair is wrapped around Rey’s neck and slammed into the post but somehow Rey is back with a kick to the head.

Back in and a top rope seated senton drives Chavo through the chair but he is fine enough to hit a Gory Bomb onto the chair. Chavo goes up and gets crotched (because he felt the need to point at the ceiling for a long time), earning him a spot in the Tree of Woe. Rey unloads with chair shots (and camera cuts) to make Chavo quit.

Rating: B. This wasn’t the most violent brawl but that’s not what they were going for here. Instead, this was the personal fight with Rey wanting revenge and refusing to quit again. It was the kind of match they needed to finish the feud for good too as it tied into everything they had done before.

Post match Great Khali comes in and beats Rey down, including the Vice Grip to make Rey bleed from the mouth. Cue Batista for the save, with a spear sending Khali outside.

In the back, Teddy Long yells at Khali and Runjin Singh. If that’s how they want to do it, we’ll make Unforgiven a triple threat match with Batista included.

Overall Rating: C. Unforgiven is not the best looking show on the Smackdown side but I don’t think they have time to add much else. Undertaker vs. Mark Henry will be one of the bigger deals but how exciting is that going to be? The other big match will be for the World Title and all that matters is getting the belt off of Khali. It has run its course and now things need to move on before he wrecks things even further. The main event helped bring up some other stuff here but it wasn’t one of the better efforts.

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Smackdown
Date: August 24, 2007
Location: Colonial Center, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and the question remains who can stop Great Khali. Batista gets his chance in two days but things are not exactly looking great for him. Other than that, Vince McMahon and Jonathan Coachman continue their search for Vince’s son, meaning hijinks are likely to continue. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show, with Great Khali Clawing/head vicing Batista down again.

Opening sequence.

Here are Vince McMahon and Coach for a chat. They are continuing their investigation into Vince’s illegitimate son and the search is continuing tonight. Coach wants to look at things scientifically and asks what we know about Vince. We know that he is tall, he is powerful and he likes to make people’s lives h***. No one is like that around here…and here is Kane to interrupt. Kane smiles at Vince, who says there is no way this monster is his son. Coach: “He does appear to have your eye.”

Kane talks about how Vince was not there for him as a kid when Kane started his first fire or killed his first squirrel. That being said, all Kane wants is Finlay, which seems to please Vince. After making sure Kane doesn’t want his money, Vince makes Kane vs. Finlay for Summerslam, which works just fine.

Cue Chris Masters to say he has proof that he is Vince’s son. First of all, Kane is too ugly to be Vince’s son (that’s good for a glare from Kane), plus a photo of Masters meeting Vince when he was fifteen (Vince: “You look ten.). Masters is willing to prove himself with the Masterlock Challenge right now, with Kane agreeing. Kane is a bit too big though and Masters can’t get the hold, so he offers to put Masters in the hold himself. That just earns Masters a chokeslam and Kane leaves. Cue Chuck Palumbo, and since we have a referee and two wrestlers, Vince says ring the bell.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Chris Masters

Palumbo punches away to start and hits a clothesline to drop Masters again. Masters get sin a cheap shot and a slam, only to walk into an overhead belly to belly. Full Throttle finishes for Palumbo.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Funaki

Chavo still has Rey Mysterio’s mask, which is on a mannequin head this week. A slam and an uppercut have Funaki in early trouble but he manages a quick shot of his own. Chavo crotches him on top though and we’re back to the stomping. Funaki’s knee is wrapped around the post and Chavo cranks on it so much that the referee calls for the DQ.

Post match Chavo keeps beating Funaki down as WWE desperately tries to get us to believe that Chavo Guerrero is a threat to a returning Rey Mysterio. They’re doing everything right with the actions and violence, but it’s still Chavo Guerrero. Chavo puts the Rey mask on Funaki and crushes his leg with a chair. Fans: “CHAVO SUCKS!’’ Chavo: “REY MYSTERIO SUCKS!!!”

Rey Mysterio video.

Jamie Noble vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

For the #1 contendership to the Cruiserweight Title as we continue to protect most of the wrestlers on Summerslam. Yang kicks him down without much trouble and hits an early standing moonsault. Back up and Noble hits him in the face, setting up a waistlock to work on the ribs. That’s countered with a catapult to send Noble into the corner and a top rope hurricanrana gives Yang two. The top rope moonsault press misses though and Noble’s fireman’s carry gutbuster ends the battle of the Jung Dragons.

Post match Noble dives under the ring to find Hornswoggle but finds…no one. As Noble leaves, Hornswoggle pops out from underneath the ring.

We look at Evander Holyfield vs. Matt Hardy in a boxing match at Saturday Night’s Main Event until Holyfield got sick of MVP telling him to hurt Hardy even more.

Teddy Long doesn’t get to see Kristal in her swimsuit before tonight’s contest but here is MVP to interrupt. MVP talks about how great he is and how he could win any title. He could even win the Tag Team Titles with Teddy’s grandmother, or whoever else walks into this office. Cue Matt Hardy and arguing ensues after the announcement of the Tag Team Title match next week.

Vince McMahon and Coach come up to Chuck Palumbo, next to his motorcycle. After explaining that it’s Mr. McMahon, they talk about their love of bikes, but don’t worry because Palumbo knows who his dad is. One day his dad had a bit too much to drink and drove his bike into an 18 wheeler. Coach says they’re so sorry. Palumbo: “Not as sorry as my mom. She was driving the 18 wheeler.” Coach and Vince awkwardly leave.

Deuce N Domino vs. Eugene/Shannon Moore

Non-title and Deuce N Domino have Cherry with them. Eugene works on Deuce’s arm to start and hands it off to Shannon for the same. A Whisper in the Wind is pulled off the top though and it’s Domino getting to stomp away. That doesn’t last long as it’s back to Eugene to clean at least a few rooms. Eugene backdrops Moore onto Domino but Deuce kicks him in the face for the fast pin.

HHH is back at Summerslam.

And now, Matt Hardy and MVP play basketball. It’s first to eleven wins and yes this is non-title. Before the game, MVP brags about how good he is, misses a shot, and then dunks to make it better. MVP: “This is one I picked up when I was hanging out in the ski lodge with Kobe.” Matt finally comes out to interrupt, hits him in the head with the ball and scores, only to have Deuce N Domino come in to beat them both down.

Mark Henry vs. Brad Allen

Allen is sent into the post, powerslammed and bearhugged for the easy win.

Post match, Henry wants to know what is up with the Undertaker symbolism, like THE SAND! Undertaker’s video appears again and this time someone finds a box buried in the sand. There are a bunch of snakes inside, plus the Undertaker’s symbol. Henry is panicked.

Raw Rebound.

Michael Cole is in the ring to introduce a Summerslam bikini contest between Kristal, Torrie Wilson, Michelle McCool and Victoria. They all disrobe, Victoria dances badly and…we have a surprise entrant: South Carolina’s own Mae Young! Mae disrobes, has to be held back from disrobing further, and wins.

Jesse and Festus love barbecue, with Festus being great at grilling steak tartar. Cole calls them the Daltons, which I don’t believe has been used since they started these vignettes.

Summerslam rundown.

We see the opening vignette again, as Great Khali is still the big monster.

Batista vs. Finlay

Batista shoves him around to start, which might be due to Finlay not being able to see through the smoke from Batista’s pyro. Finlay gets in a few shots of his own to knock him outside. That means a quick posting and here is Great Khali to watch as we take a break. Back with Finlay holding him in something like a Crossface until Batista Stuns his way to freedom.

Finlay actually hits a dropkick to cut him off again but Batista fights up even faster this time. They head outside with Batista loading up the announcers’ table, only to get caught with a hanging neckbreaker on the way back in. The swinging Boss Man Slam plants Finlay again but Khali comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was the usual power match with Finlay being a good villain to go after Batista. The ending was not that much of a surprise and that’s ok in this case, though having Khali come out made the ending a bit more obvious. I can get why you don’t have Batista or Finlay lose so close to Summerslam, but it wasn’t the most thrilling way to go.

Post match Khali chops Batista down but can’t get the vice grip. Instead, Batista spears him down and hammers away until Finlay makes the save. Batista fights back again and pounds on Khali again until referees break it up. Well try to at least as Batista gets away to slug Khali down again. Khali staggers away to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I know what they were going for with this show but it was one of the weakest shows they have done in a long time. This was a bunch of low level stars having matches that didn’t have many interesting stories. There were a few minor things going on, but this was a totally skippable show, which isn’t a good way to get me to care about what is coming this weekend.

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Royal Rumble 2004
Date: January 25, 2004
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,289
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

It’s a big night and one of the most important shows of the year as we officially start the Road to Wrestlemania. The Royal Rumble is more wide open than in recent years and that’s often the best thing that can happen for the match. Other than that we have a pair of World Title matches, with Raw’s likely being too long and Smackdown’s needing to move on before the company makes itself look worse. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how life’s road is unpredictable and how one turn can change everything. As you might guess, the Last Man Standing match gets the most time and the Rumble itself is mentioned last.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Ric Flair/Batista

Flair and Batista are defending and it’s a tables match with Coach on commentary. Before the match, Batista gets in a quick jab at the Dudleys for being the biggest losers since the Philadelphia Eagles. They fight on the floor to start with Batista clotheslining the post by mistake to put the champs in early trouble. In a painful looking impact, Bubba slides a table from one side of the ring to the other, hitting Batista in the ribs to keep him in trouble.

A neckbreaker slows Batista down and D-Von takes him to the floor with a Cactus Clothesline. Flair has Bubba in the corner on a table (that’s so wrong for Flair) but Bubba is right back with the Flip Flop and Fly (that’s more Flair’s speed) Batista comes back in for the save though as I’m glad they’re not wasting time with tags here.

The belly to back suplex/neckbreaker combination puts Batista down as Evolution can’t get much going here. Flair goes up, and in a shocking change of events, Flair gets slammed down. It’s time for the table but cue Coach, with his bad ribs, for the save. That earns him a What’s Up attempt but Flair makes a save of his own. Batista is back in with a spinebuster to put D-Von through a table for the win.

Rating: D-. Just a Raw match designed to get these guys on the show, though I can appreciate them putting the tables match on first and hopefully we don’t get a bunch of chants about wanting tables. Other than that, I see nothing positive about this entire thing. Batista and Flair are fine as champions, but it’s not like they have anyone important to feud against at this point.

Flair says they’ll keep the titles as long as they want.

John Cena raps about how he’s going to win but Rob Van Dam comes in to steal the last rhyme, saying he’ll win the Rumble. Cena makes weed jokes and says Van Dam can suck his candy cane.

There’s an empty chair for Mick Foley, should he bother to show up.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Rey is defending and Jamie has the still blind Nidia with him. A 619 attempt in the first ten seconds is countered into a hot shot as Jamie takes over. Cole says that Nidia, who is blind, is looking on as Jamie hiptosses Rey down, earning one heck of a tongue lashing from Tazz. Rey gets in a dropkick and a hurricanrana, followed by the sitout bulldog for two. The tiger driver is broken up and Nidia trips Jamie by mistake, setting up the 619. Rey Drops the Dime to retain in short order.

Rating: D. Well don’t bother wasting time I guess. This was barely three minutes long and they didn’t have time to do anything. Nidia’s interference was the most important part of the match and that took all of two seconds. These two are talented but they need more time than a run of the mill women’s match from this era to get anywhere.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. They were a successful team but Eddie got way more popular, sending Chavo into a jealous rage when the team stopped doing as well. Chavo went nuts, blaming Eddie for all of their problems and bringing in his father to turn it into more of a family affair, even as Kurt Angle tried to play peacekeeper. This is one of the few stories that is going to work every single time and both of them have sold it exceptionally well, turning it into the best thing going on in WWE at the moment.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Chavo has his father with him. They fight over a hard lockup to start until Chavo slaps the taste out of Eddie’s mouth. A fired up Eddie shoves him into the corner but can’t bring himself to follow up because his heart is broken. He’s willing to take Chavo down into a chinlock but Chavo is right back up for a chop in the corner. Eddie chops him back and gives the first smile of the match. Some shoulders put Eddie down and Chavo is very pleased with his early success.

That just earns him a poke to the eye as the stalling continues. Eddie takes him down again but Chavo pops up in short order and hooks a hurricanrana to put them both on the floor. With Chavo back inside, his dad sends Eddie face first into the steps (Tazz: “I guess he doesn’t like his little brother.”) to give Chavo the first real advantage. Back in and Eddie grabs a cross armbreaker but can’t get it all the way on. Chavo scores with a belly to back suplex but the tornado DDT is broken up. Eddie rolls the suplexes and drops the frog splash for the win.

Rating: C. It was good while it lasted but it should have lasted about twice as long. This was a big time story on Smackdown and it ended in a match that was about half as long as the Smackdown main event. I’m assuming they’re setting Eddie up for something bigger down the line and they needed to get this out of the way, but this deserved more time.

Post match Eddie gets fired up for the first time and beats up both Chavos. Sr. gets tied to the bottom rope by the tie while Jr. gets stomped in the corner, busting him open in the process. They did a good job here with Eddie wanting to hold in his emotions during the match but being pushed too far after and finally erupting.

Chris Benoit is ready to go in at #1 when Evolution comes in with their champagne to celebrate. Flair says Benoit is the best technical wrestler alive and all man but the brass ring always slips out of his hand. It’s all about Evolution holding all of the gold so Benoit is always going to be second best.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match with Brock Lesnar defending against Hardcore Holly. Lesnar broke Holly’s neck back in 2002 and since we must go with real life instead of something, you know, interesting, we’ve been stuck watching Lesnar run from Holly for the last month. This is possibly the most ice cold title match in history as Holly is little more than a former comedy guy with a bad attitude who is ranting about wanting to break Lesnar’s neck. Lesnar can beat up Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit, but Hardcore Holly suddenly scares him? That’s what we’re going with here?

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Lesnar is defending and Holly jumps him before the bell. The champ gets posted twice in a row and the bell rings with Holly on the apron, only to miss a top rope clothesline. Lesnar scores with a suplex as the referee is getting in the way more than usual here. A ram into the apron gives Lesnar two and it’s off to a waistlock on the mat. What would eventually be called a Shell Shock gives Lesnar two as this is a complete squash so far.

It’s back to the waistlock as you can hear the limited interest the fans had seeping out of the arena. A bearhug sets up a suplex and it’s right back to a head and arm choke. Holly fights up with some kicks to the ribs and clotheslines, followed by the Alabama Slam….for no cover as it’s off to that stupid full nelson. The hold stays on even as they fall to the floor so Holly tries it again with Lesnar on the apron. That earns him a neck snap across the top and the F5 retains the title.

Rating: F. Oh give me a break. Lesnar was never in danger here and in the six and a half minutes they had, at least half of it was Lesnar keeping him on the mat in a hold. Holly’s finisher, while fine for beating a midcarder here and there, is nowhere near enough to be a real threat to Lesnar. Thank goodness they didn’t tease a bunch of near falls and just got out of there, because this was a bad idea from the beginning.

We’re not even 52 minutes into the show and we’ve covered four matches, including three title matches. That’s a ridiculous pace, even for a Royal Rumble.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. HHH, which they’re billing as seven years in the making. So we’re counting all of the four and a half years Shawn was on the shelf and the months long feud they had in 2002? They’ve traded wins and the title until Shawn got a pin on the last show of 2003, albeit with his own shoulders on the mat. Therefore it’s a Last Man Standing match tonight, which somehow ties into everything else they’ve ever done, including the most recent match, which is barely discussed.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

HHH is defending and it’s Last Man Standing. They fight over a lockup to start until Shawn gets the better of a chop off. It’s time for a mat sequence with Shawn loading up a backslide, only to let it go when he realizes what kind of match they’re having. One heck of a whip into the corner starts n on Shawn’s back, which is still a target six years after it was originally hurt.

Shawn is right back up with a Figure Four but HHH turns it over for the break. That’s enough of the wrestling so it’s time to head outside with HHH loading up the announcers’ table. A suplex through the table is broken up and Shawn ax handles him in the head. Back in and a backdrop puts HHH on the floor again but Shawn’s springboard spinning crossbody only hits table in a big crash.

Shawn is busted open (of course he is) and we get a replay, showing that Shawn would have cleared HHH by two feet even if HHH had stood in place. Back in again and the very bloody Shawn won’t stay down, instead telling HHH to bring it on. Right hands get a seven and a spinebuster gives HHH eight more. It’s chair time and a hard shot to the back gets nine this time. The Pedigree on the chair is countered into a slingshot into the corner, followed by Shawn’s own chair shot to the face.

Back up and the forearm into the nip up have the bloody HHH in trouble. The top rope elbow looks to set up Sweet Chin Music but HHH cuts him off with a low blow. Back up and Shawn grabs a sleeper, which lasts as long as a sleeper is going to in a match like this. HHH’s DDT gets eight so he loads up a belly to back superplex, which is countered into a spinning crossbody for a double knockdown. The Pedigree gets nine and Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music, good for a double knockout and a draw.

Rating: C-. Well of course we need to see these two fight again. You wouldn’t expect HHH and Shawn Michaels to wrap up their feud in just two matches right? This wasn’t very good with just an exchange of moves and nothing that went anywhere, though the blade jobs were both quite nasty looking. I’m sure we’ll see these two again, but these two will likely be fighting in their retirement home.

The fans are NOT pleased with the draw and I can’t say I blame them. HHH is taken out on a stretcher but Shawn insists on walking.

Video on the Royal Rumble, which really just shows the names involved. Chris Benoit is in at #1 and Goldberg is in at #30.

The Fink is ready to start the introductions but here’s Eric Bischoff to promise that Raw will win the match. He runs down Paul Heyman’s abilities to run shows in Bingo halls, in a line that has to have been repeated a thousand times now. Ignore that WCW officially went out of business before ECW (on an extreme technicality but it was still officially in business after WCW was purchased). Heyman tackles Bischoff but here’s Steve Austin on the ATV to say they’re both in violation of the law. Stunners abound and beer is consumed. I’m so glad they spent five minutes on this when four matches got less than twenty two minutes combined.

Goldberg is asked about being #30 in the Royal Rumble when Brock comes in to wonder where his interview is. Brock asks where Goldberg’s title is but Goldberg says it’s coming back at Wrestlemania. Goldberg suggests Brock is a coward.

Foley still isn’t here.

Royal Rumble

JR and Tazz are on commentary, thankfully giving us a standard booth instead of the usual mess that these things have become. Tazz even has keys to victory: hide, stamina, get a high number. I’ve heard worse analysis so I’ll take what I can get. Chris Benoit is in at #1 and Randy Orton is in at #2 and we have ninety second intervals. Benoit gets aggressive to start (ignoring key to victory #2) and scores with a suplex but gets uppercutted into the corner.

Mark Henry is in at #3 and shoves Benoit down so he can choke Orton in the corner. The clock seems to get a little faster as Tajiri is in at #4 and gets suplexed down for his efforts. Henry throws Orton ribs first onto the top rope and everyone pounds away as Bradshaw is in at #5. Clotheslines abound until Benoit pulls him into the Crossface and gets him out in less than a minute. Well at least they’re keeping the ring at a manageable number. Rhyno is in at #6 and goes after Orton and Benoit as Tajiri kicks away at Henry.

Tajiri can’t get the Tarantula so Rhyno Gores Henry, eliminating Tajiri in the process. Benoit dumps Henry and we’re already down to three. They fight by the ropes and it’s Matt Hardy in at #7. There’s a Side Effect to Rhyno but Benoit knocks Matt to the apron. Matt gets back in and everyone pummels everyone until Scott Steiner is in at #8. Benoit rolls some German suplexes on Steiner as JR gives us the good stat of there being no former Rumble winners in this match.

Matt Morgan is in at #9 as the ring is starting to fill up. A helicopter bomb plants Benoit and there’s a big boot to Hardy. It’s back to the exchange of forearms around the ring with no one going for an elimination until Hurricane is in at #10. Before I can recap who is in the match, Morgan tosses Hurricane in short order, leaving us with Benoit, Orton, Rhyno, Hardy, Steiner and Morgan. Morgan throws Hardy to the apron but not out as Steiner lays on Orton in the middle of the ring.

Booker T. is in at #11 to a nice reaction but also to a really annoying song. An ax kick has Orton in trouble and Steiner is thrown out off camera (in his last match with the company) as Kane is in at #12. Benoit and Morgan both get chokeslams and the Gore and RKO are both blocked. Kane starts beating on Matt in the corner…..and a gong strikes at #13. As expected, Kane freaks out and the distraction lets Booker throw him out. It’s actually Spike Dudley in at #13 so Kane beats him up in the aisle, both for the gong and for Spike upsetting Kane on Monday. Things settle down and it’s Rikishi in at #14.

Benoit dumps Rhyno and Orton gets a Stinkface as the fans aren’t exactly interested, probably due to the gong taking some of their interest away. They’re certainly not burning up the pace for eliminations here but that’s not the worst thing in the world. Rene Dupree is in at #15 to get us to the halfway point. He dropkicks Hardy out but turns into a superkick from Rikishi to get eliminated as well.

A-Tran is in at #16 and goes after Rikishi as Benoit ducks Morgan’s charge to get rid of him. Orton dumps out Rikishi and Booker in the span of a few seconds, leaving us with Benoit, Orton and A-Train. Benoit eliminates A-Train as Shelton Benjamin is in at #17. Benjamin slugs away as JR completely missed A-Train’s elimination. How do you not notice the 6’8 350lb bald guy being gone? Orton dumps Shelton and we’re down to two again. To be fair, other than Kane and maybe Booker, none of the other entrants are worth anything so far. Lamont runs out to introduce Ernest Miller at #18 and Tazz loves the song.

Benoit tosses Lamont and Orton does the same to Miller so these two can keep slugging it out. Kurt Angle is in at #19 and now things can pick up a bit. Benoit and Angle go at it (of course) while Orton is smart enough to just chill in the corner. Angle has Benoit in trouble on the ropes but Orton makes a rather questionable save. Rico is in at #20 and goes after Orton, who dropkicks him almost immediately. A kick to the head rocks Orton though, leaving Benoit to roll some German suplexes on Angle. Orton dumps Rico with ease and it’s Test…..not in at #21.

We cut to the back where Test is unconscious. Austin sees who did it and makes that person #21 instead. In the arena, MICK FOLEY is #21 and Orton knows he’s about to die. Foley slugs him down in the corner, throws up a BANG BANG and hits the running knee in the corner. The Cactus Clothesline gives us a double elimination and it’s down to Benoit vs. Angle. Foley isn’t done with Orton and sends him into the steps as Christian is in at #22.

Orton gets in a few wicked chair shots to Foley and punches him down before slamming Foley’s head into the ramp. Some right hands get Foley out of trouble and it’s Mr. Socko but Foley has to give it to Nunzio, who comes in at #23. The distraction lets Orton get in a low blow and run off after a great angle that makes me want to see these two have a heck of a fight. Back in the ring, Christian can’t get rid of Angle or Benoit so Angle suplexes Benoit instead. Benoit is the only one standing as Big Show is in at #24.

Show starts fast with the overhand chops and throws some Canadians around until Chris Jericho is in at #25 to a very nice reaction. Jericho and Christian stomp on Angle in the corner until Show makes a save with a double noggin knocker. How old school of him. Everyone goes after Show so he shrugs them off and Charlie Haas is in at #26. Christian tries to turn on Jericho but gets dumped out instead, which just fits for Christian for some reason. Billy Gunn returns at #27 and hits some Fameassers but can’t get rid of anyone.

John Cena is in at #28 to a very nice reaction and you can feel the star power growing every night. Cena catches Nunzio sitting on the floor and throws him inside as the ring is starting to get too full. For some reason Nunzio goes after Show, earning himself that hard shot to the back. Rob Van Dam is in at #29 and can’t get rid of Show either. Cena gives Angle an FU and here’s Goldberg in at #30 to complete the field. I’m not going to bother saying who all is in there because we’re about to lose a bunch of them.

Goldberg wrecks everyone and tosses Haas, Gunn and Nunzio (after an insane spear). That leaves us with Benoit, Angle, Show, Jericho, Cena, Van Dam and Goldberg for a heck of a final group. Goldberg loads up the Jackhammer on Show but here’s Lesnar to jump him from behind, allowing Angle to dump Goldberg, who is busy seething at Lesnar. Show shrugs off the masses again but Angle chop blocks him, which isn’t the brightest idea. That means a Lionsault, a Five Star, a Shuffle and a Swan Dive but Show is unconscious on the mat. Real smart guys.

Show fights up and dumps Cena, who lands VERY awkwardly on his knee. Van Dam is gone too and we’re down to Jericho, Big Show, Angle and Benoit. Jericho goes after Show’s knee and bulldogs Show now, which has done so well against him already. The Walls make Show tap but Jericho lets him go. That’s not the brightest move in the world and Show makes him pay with a chokeslam over the top for an elimination. A regular chokeslam drops Benoit so Angle gets the Angle Slam on Show.

Benoit gets one as well and now it’s the ankle lock to make Show tap again. Show gets up and muscles Angle out as well, leaving us with two. With Show hanging over the top rope, Benoit hits the Swan Dive to the back of his head, accidentally bringing Show back in. The chokeslam is countered into the Crossface to make Show tap for the third time.

A side slam gets Show out of trouble as we hear about Benoit getting close to Ric Flair’s longevity record. Show loads up a gorilla press but Benoit pulls him down into a guillotine, even as Show puts him on the apron. Benoit pulls him down and slides back inside as Show goes out, giving Benoit the big win.

Rating: A. It’s one of the best Rumbles ever, mainly due to Benoit. There was some great storytelling near the end, with Jericho and Angle both making Show tap but then making some kind of a mistake to get eliminated while Benoit was smart/determined enough to make it work in the end. The same thing happens when the big groups try to get Show out and Benoit does it on his own, showing how technique and determination are better than brute strength. It kept you wondering if Benoit could finally win the big one and that’s what they managed to pull off in a great story throughout the whole match.

Other than that, they did a great job of not letting the ring get too full save for near the end, which Goldberg took care of in short order. Pacing is often such a problem in these things and it’s very nice to see them get it right. They had a big angle with Foley and Orton too, giving it something besides the winner to go off of from here. Finally, there were multiple possible winners, which always makes for a better match than having one or two people be the only ones who could win. Great Rumble, and one of the best of all time.

JR loses it praising Benoit, who smiles (a rare thing for him) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The Rumble is always a unique show as it’s the only one where one match can really save the whole thing, as the main event is often at least a third of the show. The problem is the rest of the show was so bad due to the matches either being rushed or being HHH vs. Shawn in their annual attempt at an epic match that it’s hard to call this good overall. Really though, the Rumble itself is more than enough to carry it, but on any other card of the year this would have been a disaster.

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Smackdown
Date: August 10, 2007
Location: Chevrolet Center, Youngstown, Ohio
Attendance: 3,700
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re closing in on Summerslam and the main event is set, with Batista challenging Great Khali for the World Title. That may be a problem for Batista, as Khali debuted a Claw hold, which could cause quite the damage. The rest of the card could use some attention though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Batista vs. Domino

They’re starting fast this week and Deuce and Cherry are here with Domino. Batista knees him in the ribs as the smoke from Batista’s pyro is still filling the arena. A suplex gives Batista two but it’s too early for the Batista Bomb. Back up Cherry’s distraction does absolutely nothing as Batista takes Deuce N Domino out with ease. The spear into the Batista Bomb is good for the easy pin. On Domino.

Rating: C-. Total squash and that’s what it should have been. It would have been nice to not see a champion lose this way, but it isn’t like there are any other tag teams worth beating up around here. Batista didn’t break a sweat here and that made for an entertaining enough destruction.

Post match Deuce tries to jump Batista and gets wrecked as well. Great Khali pops up on screen to yell at Batista, who won’t be celebrating at Summerslam. We see a clip of Khali Clawing Ric Flair last week to knock him out.

Here is the returning Rey Mysterio, whose knee surgery must have been a success as he is about four inches taller now. Whoever it is seems to be a big Chavo Guerrero fan because he doesn’t know if Rey can beat Chavo at Summerslam. Or if he can even face Chavo, because Chavo is that amazing. He gets on his knees to beg Chavo to avoid that kind of a beating again but here is Eugene to interrupt.

Eugene vs. “Rey Mysterio”

The fans think Chavo sucks and it’s a headscissors to take Eugene down to start. The 619 misses and believe it or not, it’s Chavo under the mask. Eugene is so offended by the deception that he starts hammering away and hits a Gory Bomb, followed by Three Amigos. The frog splash takes too long though and Chavo moves, allowing him to hit his own for the pin.

Rating: D+. They didn’t bother trying to take this one too far as there is only so much you can get out of this kind of a match. It was also a match where the copying moves made sense, but Eugene is so far beyond meaning anything that it is hard to believe that he was kind of a big thing at one point. Chavo is on his way to the big showdown with Rey and that should work out well for both of them.

Kenny Dykstra kisses Victoria as she is getting her makeup done when Michelle McCool comes in to tell them to get a room. Violence is teased.

Raw Rebound.

Mark Henry vs. Sterling Keenan

Keenan is better known as Corey Graves. Bearhug finishes for Henry in about a minute.

Post match Henry says no one will mess with him because of this, sending us to a video of him attacking Undertaker. As the beating is on, we cut to an Undertaker vignette, with the word “Unforgiven” being heard. Back in the arena, a man in black walks away from the ring and his footprints are rather prominent.

Torrie Wilson vs. Victoria

Jimmy Wang Yang and Kenny Dykstra are here. Victoria jumps her to start and takes it to the floor. That means Yang has to dropkick Dykstra down as Torrie is scared. Back in and the Widow’s Peak finishes Torrie in a hurry.

Post match the beating stays on but Michelle McCool runs in for the save.

We recap Matt Hardy beating MVP in arm wrestling and regular wrestling last week.

Commentary tells us that thanks to the Wellness Policy, MVP found out that he had a heart condition and has had surgery, but will be back in a week.

MVP complains about how his heart was messed up last week but Matt Hardy cheated to beat him anyway. It would usually take someone a year to return but he’ll do it in a week because he is half man and half amazing.

Matt Hardy vs. Finlay

Finlay points a finger in his face to start and they take their time to start. A headlock and shoulder have Matt in early trouble so he grabs a headlock of his own. Commentary talks about Mr. McMahon’s illegitimate child (ok fair enough) as Matt hits Finlay in the face for two. Hold on though as Finlay complains of an eye poke, which naturally is a way to sucker Matt in for some uppercuts.

Back up and Finlay charges into a boot in the corner but manages to send Matt hard to the floor. They fight over a ram into the apron so Matt gets posted as we take a break. We come back with Finlay staying on the arm that went into the post, including kicking away at the shoulder. The cranking begins on the arm but the referee is smart enough to see the feet in the ropes. Good of him for doing his job for once.

Back up and Matt hits an elbow to the face, only to get taken down into another armbar. The arm is slammed onto the apron before Finlay goes with the armbar again. Back up and Finlay forearms away in the corner but Matt slugs him down. The middle rope elbow to the back connects and the Side Effect gets two. Finlay fights back but here is Hornswoggle at ringside. Finlay brings him inside but Jamie Noble comes out to chase Hornswoggle off. Finlay goes to rescue Hornswoggle….and it’s a countout.

Rating: C+. This felt like they had set up a joke for seventeen minutes and then forgot the punchline. They set up everything with Hardy’s arm being banged up and then just let it end in the middle of his comeback? Instead of managing to beat Finlay with one arm, it was like they were saying “close enough, we’re done”. This had me really confused and disappointed, even though the rest of it was rather good.

In the back, Jamie Noble asks Kid Kash and Funaki where Hornswoggle is. Finlay comes in and grabs Noble, telling him to stay away from Hornswoggle. Noble says this is three on one….but Kane pops up behind them and beats up Finlay.

Kane vs. Sylvan

Sylvan rants in French until the fire cuts him off. Kane sends him flying into the corner and hammers away without much trouble. The chinlock goes on for a bit but Sylvan cuts off a charge in the corner. Kane hits a big boot though and the top rope clothesline sets up the chokeslam for the easy win.

Post match Finlay runs in and beats Kane down with the shillelagh.

Teddy Long and Vickie Guerrero talk about Teddy’s wedding and gives him some Viagra as a wedding present.

Here is Chris Masters for the Masterlock Challenge to anyone in the crowd. A rather large fan is goaded into it, but says he has played football, wrestled…..and just got out of prison for manslaughter. With that, Masters picks another fan, who he easily beats. I’m still not sure why this is supposed to be interesting, especially after someone already broke the hold.

Batista tells Ric Flair to be careful against Great Khali, but Flair is mad over being rag dolled last week. He’s felt the Claw from other people before and now it is time for a Figure Four on Khali.

Ric Flair vs. Great Khali

Non-title. Flair chops away to start and is tossed to the ground for his efforts. The nerve hold goes on for a good while, followed by the big chop and a big boot. Flair manages a low blow and chops away, with Khali going down to a knee. Then Khali grabs the Claw to finish Flair without much trouble.

Rating: D. This was as good as Khali nerve holding Flair for about a minute and a half was going to be. The Claw is a fine way for someone with Khali’s hands to go, but you need something other than that. The problem is he can’t do much more and this was a bad example of how limited he really is.

Post match the Claw stays on so Batista runs in for the save. Khali Claws Batista down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time Smackdown came up with such a bad show as this was rather awful. There was nothing on here that you would need to see and the best match, between Hardy and Finlay, has one of the more disappointing endings I have heard of in a long time. This didn’t make me want to see Summerslam and it was one of the weakest shows WWE has put on in a long time.

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