Survivor Series Count-Up – 2001 (2012 Redo): It Should Have Been More

Survivor Series 2001
Date: November 18, 2001
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Attendance: 10,142
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

European Title: Christian vs. Al Snow

Rating: C-. This is one of those shows where anything but the main event means nothing, which makes the first hour and a half of the show pretty uninteresting to sit through. This match was fine but it could have been on Smackdown on any given week. Snow and Christian are both good hands so a good match is really nothing shocking at all.

William Regal vs. Tajiri

Regal powerbombs him again post match. Torrie (looking GREAT in a purple top and leather pants) comes out to check on Tajiri, only to get powerbombed as well.

We recap Edge vs. Test. These two are both midcard champions after the seemingly dozens of never ending midcard title changes going on at this point. Edge is US Champion, Test is IC Champion, tonight only one belt survives.

Intercontinental Title/US Title: Edge vs. Test

They fight over control to start with Edge taking over via a series of forearms to the head. Test powers him down and goes after the ribs with a wide ranging selection of stomps. We head to the floor with Edge being dropped across the barricade to further the attack on the ribs. Back in and Edge hits a dropkick to take over before we head outside again. Back in quickly and a swinging neckbreaker gets two for Edge.

Test drops Edge onto the top rope ribs first to reinjure him and the taller of the blonde Canadian champions takes over again. Test puts on a chinlock as the match slows down again. Edge fights up and avoids a corner charge before hitting a middle rope missile dropkick for two. A middle rope cross body misses though and Test puts him on the top rope.

A cage is lowered.

WCW Tag Titles/WWF Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boys

Jeff is taken out on a stretcher.

Mick Foley is at WWF New York and admits that his job (WWF Commissioner) means nothing.

Scotty 2 Hotty is about to be in the Immunity Battle Royal but Test beats him up to take his spot.

Immunity Battle Royal

Test, Billy Gunn, Bradshaw, Farrooq, Lance Storm, Billy Kidman, Diamond Dallas Page, Albert, Tazz, Perry Saturn, Raven, Chuck Palumbo, Crash Holly, Justin Credible, Shawn Stasiak, Steven Richards, Tommy Dreamer, The Hurricane, Spike Dudley, Hugh Morrus, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Funaki

Sacrifice video by Creed.

Vince looks at Team WWF and gives them a pep talk, bringing up names like Dr. Jerry Graham, Peter Maivia, Gorilla Monsoon (pop) and Andre the Giant (BIG pop). He understands he might be looking at a group of losers, and if that happens no one will ever forgive them. After listening to that speech, I want to go fight three WWF guys and one guy each from ECW and WCW!

We recap the main event which has been summed up pretty well already. Vince was replaced by Big Show and Rock and Jericho are having major issues. Rock is WCW champion and Austin is WWF Champion. This really does feel like a huge match. The video is set to Control by Puddle of Mudd which is a good song.

Basically Vince said that he was tired of all of the InVasion (I think a lot of us were at this point) and offered one winner take all match with the losing organization going out of business. Angle joined the Alliance after the announcement but Vince says Austin is coming back to the WWF, giving the Alliance reason to be concerned. Austin stunned Angle on TV recently to further that idea.

Team WWF vs. Team Alliance

The Rock, Chris Jericho, Big Show, Undertaker, Kane

Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, Booker T, Rob Van Dam, Shane McMahon

Everyone gets individual entrances so it takes forever to get to the start of the match. As those are going on, a few things to notice here: Team Alliance has one of the biggest WWF superstars ever, a guy that at this point had only wrestled in the WWF, a WCW guy, an ECW guy, and the then heir to the WWF throne.

Angle gets thrown around but eventually slips behind Kane and hits a German Suplex for two. Kane comes back with a side slam and the top rope clothesline for two of his own as Shane saves again. Off to the Dead Man who pounds away but misses a charge into the corner, allowing Booker to get the tag. Taker immediately drops Booker and hits a legdrop, but Shane breaks up his fifth near fall of the match.

Booker stomps on Rock but Rocky comes back with right hands. A side kick takes Rock right back down but Rock does the same with a DDT for two. Booker charges into a Samoan Drop for two as Austin makes the save. Rock whips Booker into Angle and grabs a rollup to eliminate Mr. T, making it 3-2.

Everyone celebrates and Vince comes out for the big dramatic pose, because this whole storyline was all about Vince and his kids remember.

Ratings Comparison

Christian vs. Al Snow

Original: C+

Redo: C-

William Regal vs. Tajiri

Original: C

Redo: N/A

Edge vs. Test

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boys

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Battle Royal

Original: N/A

Redo: C-

Trish Stratus vs. Lita vs. Jacqueline vs. Ivory vs. Mighty Molly vs. Jazz

Original: D+

Redo: D

Team WWF vs. Team Alliance

Original: B

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: B+

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/10/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2001-the-end-of-the-alliance-thank-goodness/

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – XIX (2017 Redo): The Other Great One

Wrestlemania XIX
Date: March 30, 2003
Location: Safeco Field, Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 54,097
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

This one is very interesting as the TV leading up to the show has been a cross between boring and really bad, yet the show has one of the best reputations of all time. I’m really curious to see how it goes from such a bad build to such a great show, especially with so much emphasis on Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon. Let’s get to it.

Sunday Night Heat: Raw Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. Lance Storm/Chief Morely

Morely and Storm are defending with Morely acting as the new champion due to William Regal being injured. The Dudleys are on the floor in forced servitude to Morely and Eric Bischoff. Van Dam kicks Morely out to the floor to start and it’s Kane diving onto the champs for a cool visual as we take a break. Back with the champs in control and Morely grabbing a chinlock. The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two as the announcers rip on Morely. The Money Shot misses and it’s off to Kane for the house cleaning.

Storm breaks out of a chokeslam and gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. There’s the top rope clothesline for two with Morely making the save, only to eat a jumping kick to the face. The chokeslam looks to set up the Five Star but Rob comes inside before jumping to the top. Morely shoves him off, which makes me think there was some mistiming there. The distraction lets the Dudleys hit a 3D on Storm….and an elbow on Van Dam so the champs can retain the titles.

Rating: D+. That’s certainly how you warm a crowd up. If ever there was a time for an easy title change to give the fans something to cheer for, it should have been this right here. When you consider how soon Kane and Van Dam would get the titles anyway, this really seems like a big head scratcher.

The opening video shows wrestlers getting ready with a collection of voiceovers talking about how important this one night really is. This treats the event with a lot more respect and it’s quite the effective idea. It shows that everyone is in awe of the event itself and makes it feel even bigger.

And now, the theme song Crack Addict. So much for the respect part.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Matt Hardy

Matt, defending here and accompanied by Shannon Moore, is appearing in his fourth Wrestlemania and often wonders how they did Wrestlemania without him. Mysterio is dressed like Daredevil, starting the awesome tradition of dressing like a superhero (most of the time) at Wrestlemania.

Matt is sent outside early on and Rey busts out a corkscrew dive to take both of them down. Rey can’t hit a sunset bomb to the floor so Matt drops him onto the barricade to take over. The Ricochet gets two as Tazz talks about Matt being off the banana juice and moving to tea. The Twist of Fate is countered into a rollup but Matt grabs the Side Effect for two. As Cole talks about loving latex and teabagging (seriously), Matt misses a charge into the post and Rey gets two off a crossbody.

Shannon breaks up the 619 though and now the Twist of Fate gets two. Splash Mountain is loaded up but Rey reverses with a hurricanrana for two more. Shannon makes the save so Rey takes him down before hitting the 619 on Matt. The West Coast Pop is broken up though and Matt grabs a rollup and the rope to retain.

Rating: C+. This was a good choice for an opener as you want something fast paced but don’t want to overstay your welcome. They were in and out in less than six minutes, which is pretty close to the sweet spot for an opener. Mysterio winning probably would have been the better option but at least he didn’t get the title a week later or something like that.

The Miller Lite Catfight Girls are here. I’m with Lance Storm: it’s nonsense that these two got time and the seven minute Tag Team Title match got stuck on Heat.

Nathan Jones was laid out earlier tonight.

Limp Bizkit plays Undertaker to the ring. Again, Tag Team Titles on Heat in a short match but time for this.

Undertaker vs. A-Train/Big Show

A-Train messes with Undertaker’s bike on the way to the ring. If I had a dollar for every time a hairy chested man with nipple piercings adjusted the mirror on my motorcycle….well I’d be poor as I don’t have a motorcycle but the rest happens more often than you would think. Show tries a sneak attack but gets sent to the floor so Undertaker can chokeslam A-Train for two.

Undertaker actually leapfrogs A-Train and drops him with Old School as they’re certainly moving in the early going. A Derailer cuts Undertaker off and Show posts him for good measure. It’s off to Show whose chokeslam is countered into a Fujiwara armbar. A-Train’s save is countered into a cross armbreaker so Show gets to make a save of his own. We hit an abdominal stretch as Cole wants to know if Undertaker’s stamina is going to hold up after such a long layoff due to injury. We’re four minutes into the match and Undertaker has been back from injury for almost TWO AND A HALF MONTHS Cole, you pathetic nitwit.

A-Train puts on an abdominal stretch of his own and Tazz shows how to do his job by suggesting things Undertaker should do to escape/relieve the pressure. I get that they have different jobs but at least Tazz is saying stuff that makes sense and doesn’t sound stupid. A-Train talks trash and throws some punches until Undertaker mostly misses the running DDT (he was barely touching A-Train).

Running corner clotheslines have the monsters in trouble until A-Train gets in the bicycle kick. Show hits his chokeslam but here’s Nathan Jones in the aisle to kick Show’s head off. A-Train takes a big boot from Jones (because the referee doesn’t understand disqualifications) and the Tombstone is enough for the pin.

Rating: C-. Actually not a bad power match here as I can buy the idea of Undertaker holding his own against these two for eight minutes, especially after he’s shown he can beat them both on his own. The fact that Jones couldn’t even be trusted to wait for people to run into his kicks is incredibly telling and pretty much spells the end of his career.

The Catfight Girls meet Stacy Keibler and Torrie Wilson, who are standing around looking at Torrie’s Playboy. As various gorgeous women just do. Stacy has a new marketing campaign idea for them and they all leave together.

We take a quick look at the Tag Team Title match from Heat. Add this to the stuff that could have been cut in exchange of just airing the match.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria vs. Jazz

Victoria is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Jazz jumps the champ from behind to start fast and it’s already time for a modified Muta Lock on Trish. Trish gets knocked outside as Lawler thinks this should turn into a love triangle. Back in and Victoria hits her slingshot legdrop for two on Trish but has to powerslam Jazz for two.

It’s back to Trish as JR tries to figure out why King called her a quarter among pennies. A sitout powerslam gives Jazz two on Trish but it’s time for a fight with her fellow villain. Jazz kicks Victoria down but gets rolled up for two, followed by the Chick Kick for the same. Victoria gets sent outside, leaving Trish to get caught in the STF.

With Victoria distracting the referee, Richards breaks up the hold so Victoria and Trish can trade rollups (with Victoria’s tights being pulled rather low) for two each. Jazz gets knocked outside, leaving Richards to swing a chair but hit the top rope and knock it back into his own head. The Chick Kick to Victoria gives Trish the title back at 7:18.

Rating: C. Not bad at all here as they kept things tight and had everyone moving the entire time, including Richards with the chair to his own head. It made Trish look like the one who survived until the end, though at some point she’s going to have to beat Jazz. You can do that later though as this was all about getting her the title and I’d prefer her to pin the champ than the other challenger.

Rock doesn’t want to hear about the people because they’ve been booing him and calling him a sellout. It’s true that he’s a sellout because he sells out every Wrestlemania he’s in. Rock has lost to Austin twice at Wrestlemania but Hollywood has taught him that the third act is all that matters.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Chris Benoit/Rhyno vs. Team Angle

Team Angle is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. The challenging team both beat on a champ until it settles down to Chavo vs. Haas. A dropkick puts Charlie down and it’s off to Benoit, who runs into an armdrag from Guerrero. Eddie comes in with the slingshot hilo but they ram heads for a double knockdown.

Benoit brings Rhyno in to powerslam Eddie and it’s already off to Benjamin as they’re keeping the pace fast here. A double dropkick gets two on Rhyno but Haas gets taken into the Rhyno corner for a double stomping. Eddie stomps on Rhyno and gets taken into the same corner that Haas got caught in. Benoit catches Eddie on the top with a superplex for two as Benjamin makes the save.

That’s fine with Chris who throws Eddie into the air and pulls him down into the Crossface for a sweet move but Haas makes a save this time. Chavo and Haas come in and everything breaks down. The rolling German suplexes have Chavo in trouble but Benoit walks into a superkick from Benjamin. A legdrop gets two with Eddie dropping a frog splash for the save. Haas suplexes Chavo but turns into the Gore. Chavo eats one as well, only to have Benjamin steal the pin to retain the titles at 8:46.

Rating: B-. I don’t remember liking this one this much but they didn’t stop for the entire match. Benoit and Rhyno are still an odd choice for a tag team but it wouldn’t surprise me if they were setting up for Benoit and Edge in this spot before he got hurt. Team Angle needed this win and that’s the right call out of the three options.

Torrie and Stacy get in a fight over whether Vince or Hulk created Wrestlemania. The Catfight Girls do the same (though one of them keeps calling him Holgan) and agree to settle this in bed.

King is mesmerized.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho. Chris seems jealous that Shawn is back and getting attention. He’s wanted to be the next Shawn Michaels but now he wants to be the first Chris Jericho by defeating Shawn at Wrestlemania. This has been a long build but they’ve been smart to wait until here for the match. Shawn accepted the challenge with a superkick and telling Jericho that he would see him at Wrestlemania in a moment I always liked.

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn tries to fire some confetti cannons on the way to the ring but some of them fail to go off, prompting an “eh what are you going to do” look. Jericho on the other hand just looks down at him in disdain in the perfect response. Some early armdrags frustrate Jericho so Shawn lounges on the top rope.

Back up and Shawn kicks him away without too much effort as they’re still firmly in first gear. Jericho is ready for a leapfrog and slaps Shawn in the face, earning himself a right hand to the jaw and a trip to the floor. Back in and Jericho scores with a spinwheel kick but a bulldog is countered with a good crotching. We hit a random Figure Four but Jericho reverses pretty quickly.

They head outside again with Shawn hitting a nice plancha, only to get caught in the Walls in the aisle. The bad back is sent into the post as Jericho has a big target to work with now. Back in and Jericho yells about how he’s better than Shawn as he stays on the back in a variety of ways. We hit the chinlock with a knee in the back before Shawn grabs a DDT to get him out of trouble.

Jericho nips up and hits the forearm into Shawn’s pose, which you just don’t do at Wrestlemania. Shawn makes his comeback (with two nipups of his own) and we hit the pinfall reversal sequence (as required by a classic like this) for a couple of twos each. Jericho is Lionsault for two more before countering a hurricanrana into the Walls. Shawn grabs the rope so Jericho elbows him in the jaw and tunes up the band.

Sweet Chin Music puts Shawn down for two and the fans seemed to buy that as the finish. Shawn teases the Walls but goes with a catapult into the post for two instead. It’s Jericho up first with a belly to back superplex but Shawn reverses into a crossbody in mid-air for yet another near fall.

The top rope elbow gets the same but the real Sweet Chin Music is countered into the Walls again. Just like last time, Shawn grabs the ropes though this time he follows up with more Chin Music for a very delayed two. Both guys are spent so Jericho grabs a belly to back suplex, only to have Shawn flip over and grab a rollup with his legs for the pin at 22:31.

Rating: A. Oh come on like this one needs an explanation. These two were both on fire here and just had an awesome match. It’s the match that made it clear Shawn had more than just a few performances in him as he felt a lot more like the older version here, which is exactly what the match needed to be. Jericho being able to do every athletic thing Shawn could do but not be able to outsmart him is a perfect story in a similar vein to Shawn vs. Shelton Benjamin a few years later. Great match here and one of the best Shawn had in his comeback.

They hug post match but Jericho kicks him low like the heel he is.

The evil referee from Montreal goes to see Vince.

The new attendance record is announced.

Limp Bizkit takes their sweet time performing Crack Addict.

Here are the Catfight Girls to fight on a bed set up on stage. Cue Stacy and Torrie to join in. Girls are stripped, pillows are swung and Coach is pantsed and pinned. Again, World Tag Team Titles not on the show but these girls get like four segments.

We recap HHH vs. Booker T. which focuses on Booker’s criminal past. That’s firmly established before the “someone like you doesn’t deserve to be World Champion” line is made. It’s a better way to go about it but there’s no good way to spin that statement. Basically Booker is fighting for his one big moment and HHH is defending because….well because it’s Wrestlemania and what else is he supposed to do?

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Booker T.

HHH is defending and comes out first for some reason. JR talks about Booker becoming a five time WCW Champion so King says that place was a joke. JR: “How long did you work there?” King: “Never.” JR: “Well I did.” King: “Was it a joke?” JR: “D*** right.” A hard lockup takes them into the corner where they trade chops and some right hands. Booker charges into a boot to the face and HHH goes up top, only to get armdragged down. You would think Flair would have taught him better but if Ric never learned, HHH didn’t need to either.

The announcers bicker over whether or not Booker was born on a pool table which turns into a discussion of Fink being drunk last night. Booker gets sent outside and goes into the steps as the pace slows a lot (yes, in a HHH match). A neckbreaker gets two on Booker and a spinebuster gets the same.

Booker slips out of a suplex and grabs a DDT for his first offense in a long time. The jumping knee and a facebuster cut Booker off but he comes back with a spinebuster. HHH goes up again for some reason and dives into a boot to the face. Seriously they never learn. The scissors kick only hits ropes and Booker falls out to the floor as he was getting dangerously close to beating up HHH and that must be stopped.

Flair sends Booker’s knee into the steps and it’s time for an Indian Deathlock back inside as we flash back to 1974. Back up and the knee is done but Booker grabs a sunset flip for a fast two. A jumping elbow to the jaw puts HHH down again and there’s the ax kick for no cover.

Flair’s distraction has no effect as Booker hits the Houston Hangover, which thankfully isn’t followed up on because the knee gives out again. They stagger to their feet with Booker’s knee preventing him from trying another ax kick. Instead it’s the Pedigree, the completely ridiculous 24 second wait, and then the pin with one hand over Booker’s chest to retain the title at 18:44.

Rating: C+. And there goes Booker’s main event career for the next few years. Aside from being a somewhat boring match, that ending is unforgivable. There’s no reason to not give Booker the title here, even if it’s just until Backlash. The leg stuff at the end was better but this was WAY too much HHH with Booker only having a few hope spots here and there. He didn’t even get the big two count at any point. This was all about HHH establishing that he is the one and only star on Raw no matter what and that’s a major problem. Booker needed this win, or at least anything other than a clean loss.

Long recap of Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon for the show’s real main event. Basically Vince suddenly decided that he hated Hogan for leaving the company ten years ago and testifying against him in the steroids trial so they had to have a fight. This was suddenly elevated to the biggest match of all time despite there not really being a clear reason why Vince started hating Hogan in the first place. If it was mentioned at the start, it was completely bogged down in all the mess that followed. This is at worst the second biggest match on the show and while not surprising, that’s probably not the best idea in the world.

Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon

Street fight and if Hogan loses, he has to retire. Hogan “spears” Vince down because that’s the kind of thing Hogan is known to do. Some slow motion (expect to hear that a lot in this one) right hands have Vince in trouble and Hulk stomps him in the corner. A clothesline gives Vince a breather and he throws those awkward punches. Now it’s off to an armbar because that’s what you want to see from these two in a street fight.

Hogan fights out of the test of strength but Vince is smart enough to kick him in the gut. That’s so effective that they do it three straight times before Vince sends him outside. Hogan gets posted but still manages to avoid a chair shot. Instead it’s Hulk chairing Vince in the head and of course we’ve got some blood (you knew that was coming and you know it’s coming from Hulk too).

More chair shots have Vince reeling, though not enough to knock him out, because Vince is more manly than your average wrestler. Another chair shot hits the Spanish announcer in the head because this match needed additional casualties. Vince low blows him and gets in his own chair shot to draw Hogan’s blood as this is already dragging. And now…..it’s ladder time, which certainly picks things up a bit.

A monitor shot to the head puts Hogan on the table and Vince climbs up, puts his hand to his ear, and drops a leg (which doesn’t hit Hogan but it’s a great visual nonetheless) to destroy the table and freak the crowd out all over again. Vince throws Hogan inside and grabs a pipe from underneath the ring. In the visual of the match, Vince very slowly raises his bloody head over the apron and gives the kind of evil smile that only he can pull off. It’s a great shot too and makes up for a lot of this match.

Hogan hits him low to put both guys down….and here’s Roddy Piper, looking so out of shape that he makes Hogan look great. Piper teases hitting both of them before knocking Hogan out with the pipe (Why this is considered a surprise is beyond me. They’re mortal enemies whose feud was the reason for the first Wrestlemania main event. Why was him attacking Hogan ever in doubt?).

That’s only good for two so Vince beats up the referee, drawing out the evil referee from earlier in the night, along with a regular referee. Vince pipes Hogan again, giving us that flopping around like a fish selling. It’s Hulk Up time with Hulk beating up both Vince and the evil referee. The big boot and three legdrops finish Vince at 20:48.

Rating: C-. I’ve seen this match several times and it’s actually grown on me a lot. The expectations were through the floor coming in and it’s a pretty fun old people brawl. It’s dumb, goofy fun and while it’s WAY too long (you could easily cut eight minutes if not more), it’s one of those matches where you knew what you were getting and that’s exactly what was delivered. Vince’s complete over the top visuals made it even better. It’s not good of course but it’s fun, which is a lot more important for something like this.

Hogan poses as Shane comes out to check on his father. We get a staredown but Hogan seems to understand that he doesn’t have any issues with Shane.

You can already hear Cole’s voice giving out.

We recap Steve Austin vs. The Rock. This is ALL about Rock as Austin is on fumes and it’s not exactly a secret. Basically Rock is ticked off about being booed last year in Toronto and turned into the most amazing heel in the world as a result. The only thing he has left to do in his career is beat Austin at Wrestlemania and this is probably his last chance. This gets the music video treatment but it can only get so far when one person is doing 90% of the work in the feud (not really a criticism of Austin but Rock was just on another planet at this point).

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Writing that one never gets old. The camera follows Austin from behind in a pretty unique shot which works quite well. They stare each other down to start with Austin hitting the first right hands. The threat of a Stunner sends Rock bailing to the floor so Austin beats him over the announcers’ table and whips him into the steps.

Back in and Austin chokes a bit (that’s somewhat out of character) and gets two off a suplex. Rock gets in a chop block to get a breather with Austin bailing out to the floor. The kicks to the leg have Austin staggering around and Rock wraps the leg around the post. We hit the Sharpshooter with Austin fighting to the ropes as you can really feel the lack of fire in this one.

It’s intense but it’s clear that Austin doesn’t have that high gear anymore. The leg is wrapped around the post again and Rock grabs Austin’s vest. That’s too much for Austin so it’s some bad punches and a double clothesline for another breather. The Thesz press and middle finger elbow get two as Austin is getting some fire going.

A Rock Bottom gives Austin two but Rock comes back with a Stunner. Austin grabs the real thing for two more but Rock cuts him off with a low blow. The vest comes off and the People’s Elbow gets two. The Rock Bottom gets the same, followed by two more to FINALLY put Austin away at 17:55.

Rating: B+. I know there were outside circumstances (Austin spent the previous night in the hospital due to drinking too much alcohol and caffeine) but this would have felt so much bigger as the main event. It’s a very good match and feels big at times but when you have the history that these two have, nothing is going to live up to that standard.

Austin not being able to keep up with Rock was a great way to show that Rock was the better man that night and even with the fire not as hot as before, Austin is still worth seeing at any point. This is another one that’s grown on me and while it might not be as great, it felt important, which is what matters most here.

After thanking Austin for what happened (not audibly but he’s since said that’s what was he was doing), Rock leaves Austin for the big hero’s sendoff. This wasn’t billed as Austin’s farewell but it turned out to be his retirement match. It would have been a great way to close the show, but I get the idea of not wanting that to be the case if Austin couldn’t go. It’s a bit of a disappointment but at least he got the big moment.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle. Brock got cheated out of the title at Survivor Series and has gone on a path of destruction to get it back, including winning the Royal Rumble. Angle has used every possible way out of facing him but tonight he’s out of escapes and has nothing left to do but fight. The fact that his neck is being held together by paperclips and duct tape is just a detail because Angle has a low level of sanity. This feels like a major showdown, which is all you can ask for out of the main event of Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar, with bad ribs, is challenging and can win the title via DQ or countout. Angle grabs a front facelock but Brock throws him off and we’re back to a standoff. Kurt’s headlock has about the same effect but he breaks up Brock’s armbar. Lesnar grabs a powerslam, only to get caught in the first German suplex. Brock pops right to his feet though, sending Angle bailing to the floor as they’re not laying into each other just yet.

Back in and a gorilla press (Tazz: “The vanilla gorilla!”) plants Angle, who cuts off a charge with a boot. A German suplex into the corner messes with the ribs again and it’s off to something like an STF from the side. Angle lets go of the legs and switches to something closer to a Bank Statement. Brock won’t tap so Angle suplexes him with ease. That earns him a spinebuster though, which Angle is crazy to take with such a bad neck.

Brock hits his own suplexes but Angle pops up and rolls some German suplexes of his own. Neither finisher can hit so Angle trips him into the ankle lock. Brock grabs the rope….which doesn’t count for no apparent reason. Instead Angle switches to a half crab, followed by a running knee to the back. Brock backdrops him to the floor, again because Angle is freaking nuts.

Back in and the Angle Slam gets two, which Cole says has never happened before. I find that very hard to believe. The F5 gets two more but Kurt gets the ankle lock with a grapevine. Brock manages to drag him over to the ropes for the break, followed by another F5. Instead of covering though, Brock heads up top.

In one of the scariest moments in wrestling history, Brock tries a shooting star press (apparently suggested by Johnny Ace) but leaves it short, landing square on his head and knocking himself completely silly. With his eyes glazed over, Brock hits a third F5 for the pin and the title at 21:09.

Rating: A-. This started off rather slowly but then picked up the pace to become one heck of a hard hitting fight. Angle did everything he could with all the suplexes and left it all in the ring in what might have been his last match. Lesnar did everything he needed to do (save for hitting that shooting star) and if he had nailed the finish, this would go up several notches. It’s a great finish and the kind of main event that Smackdown should have put on at this point. Excellent match.

Lesnar is GONE as he tries to pull himself up.

A long highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: A. The more I watch this show, the more I appreciate it. There’s nothing bad on the card with the worst match being either Undertaker vs. Big Show/A-Train or the street fight and even those are watchable. There’s also a great selection of top matches, though HHH vs. Booker leaves a lot to be desired. That being said, Jericho vs. Shawn, Rock vs. Austin and the main event are more than enough to make this a classic.

My main issue is still the same: the show could use a breather between all of the top matches. I could have gone for swapping in say the women’s triple threat or the Smackdown Tag Team Title match in between the street fight and Rock vs. Austin, just for the sake of a little breathing room. The way it’s done is more than fine though and it would only have been improved with a few tweaks.

Overall, it’s one of the best Wrestlemanias ever but I can’t put it above or really near the level of X7. There’s some great stuff here but it’s not enough to top everything that show has to offer. I could easily see this being the second best Wrestlemania of all time (it’s in the top three or four at the absolute worst) and that’s some pretty high levels of quality.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – XVIII (2015 Redo): Wrong Order

Wrestlemania XVIII
Date: March 17, 2002
Location: SkyDome, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 68,237
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Sunday Night Heat: Scotty 2 Hotty/Albert/Rikishi vs. Mr. Perfect/Test/Lance Storm

Storm is a serious Canadian wrestler and Albert now enjoys dancing under the nickname the Hip Hop Hippo. Perfect returned at the Royal Rumble and had a short but nice run. Jacqueline is guest referee here. Albert quickly charges into raised boots in the corner but comes back with a quick powerbomb for two.

Dancing ensues post match.

The opening video, narrated by Undertaker of all people to start, talks about how this is the biggest night of the year. Other names talk about how big this show is and they treat it like the only thing that matters all year. This fits well with the tagline of the show “The One And Only.” The only matches discussed are Hogan vs. Rock and HHH vs. Jericho, which are the only ones that really deserve attention.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal

Regal is defending and Van Dam debuted last year during the Invasion. Rob starts with a quick spinning kick to the face so Regal already loads up his trademark brass knuckles. Van Dam is ready though and kicks them off his hand, only to miss an early Five Star Frog Splash attempt. A suplex and the Regal Cutter (arm trap neckbreaker) get two each for the champ and we hit the chinlock.

Rating: C. This went fine and was a nice way to get the show going. Rob was a fun act and one of the more popular guys on the roster at this point so giving him a title win in a quick match made sense. Regal is still a great choice for a midcard heel who can lose, get built up again in no time, and be evil all over again.

European Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Christian

Hardcore Title: Goldust vs. Maven

Crash chases Spike off.

Crash and Spike fight in the back when Al Snow speeds in on a golf cart with his own referee, only to crash through cardboard boxes. The Hurricane (a superhero) swings in on a rope and pins Spike to win the title.

JR and Lawler talk about what just happened and then show it again. IT WAS THIRTY SECONDS AGO!

Kurt Angle vs. Kane

Ric Flair vs. Undertaker

Rating: B. I liked this better than I remember as you had Flair going into his old school style and making the match last longer than you would normally see here. Undertaker beating him down slowly but surely worked as well with Flair getting his his hope spots where he could. Undertaker had to win here though and that worked very well.

Edge vs. Booker T.

Mighty Molly (Molly Holly as a superhero) hits Hurricane with a frying pan and steals the title.

Steve Austin vs. Scott Hall

Axxess video. A girl meets Undertaker and breaks into tears. Even as a heel, you can see that Undertaker is touched.

Tag Team Titles: Billy and Chuck vs. Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. APA

Elimination rules. Billy and Chuck (Billy Gunn and Chuck Palumbo (a young WCW guy) as a very, shall we say, close team) are defending. Saliva plays the Dudleyz to the ring and their manager Stacy Keibler dances with the band. The APA jumps the champs to start and Bradshaw throws both of them with fall away slams. Chuck finally gets in a clothesline to Faarooq and the champs stomp him down in the corner.

Hall and Nash say Austin got lucky and plan an attack on Rock tonight. Hogan comes up and calls it off because he needs to do this one himself.

The Rock vs. Hollywood Hogan

Make no mistake about it: this is the main event. Hogan is here alone and instantly the biggest face on the roster because Toronto is an old WWF town. Rock is nearly booed out of the building for the second year in a row. They stare each other down and you can feel the energy. The bell rings and we get the big lockup with Hogan shoving him down and posing for a standing ovation. Hogan is only the heel in name only here and everyone knows it.

Big Show is at WWF New York.

The new attendance record is announced.

WWF World Title: HHH vs. Chris Jericho

HHH celebrates a lot.

The now traditional four minute highlight package closes us out.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal

Original: C

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Christian

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: D

Maven vs. Goldust

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: D-

Kurt Angle vs. Kane

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: C

Undertaker vs. Ric Flair

Original: B

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: B

Edge vs. Booker T

Original: C

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

Steve Austin vs. Scott Hall

Original: D

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Billy and Chuck vs. APA vs. Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boys

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Rock vs. Hollywood Hogan

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Jazz vs. Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D+

HHH vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: C

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: B-

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/25/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-18-should-have-been-hogan-vs-austin/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/27/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xviii-an-actual-dream-match/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2012 (2013 Redo): They Went Another Way

Royal Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 18,121
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

We wrap things up here with last year’s show. The Rumble is back to the thirty entrant variety which is probably the best move all around. The odds on favorite is Jericho who returned very recently before this show. Other than that we’ve got Daniel Bryan defending his newly won world title against Big Show and Henry in a cage, along with Punk defending against Ziggler. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about going to Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry

Bryan is champion and beat Show at TLC by cashing in his MITB case in 45 seconds. Show beat Henry at the same show and ran over Bryan’s girlfriend AJ on Raw to set all this up. This is one fall to a finish and it’s pin/submission/escape. Bryan immediately goes for the corner but Henry pulls him down and Show runs Bryan over for two. Show crushes Henry against the cage wall but has to stop to pull Bryan back inside. Rey tries to run up again but Show catches him by the ankle and slams him back in.

Show loads up the WMD but hits the cage wall instead. The champion fires off some kicks but gets headbutted right back down. Bryan kicks the knee out even harder and fires off some kicks to Henry to keep the other monster down. He goes for the door but you know this isn’t ending that quickly. Henry makes the stop and demands that the referee CLOSE THAT DOOR. Show superkicks Henry down and it’s his turn to take over for awhile.

Bryan gets slammed down but Henry is back up again. A few punches put Show down because a dozen chair shots usually can’t, but a few punches can. Actually that’s a great way to keep Henry looking strong. The fans are cheering for Bryan as Henry and Show collide to put all three guys down. Show gets back up and clotheslines Bryan down a few times before superkicking him in the face. The chokeslam is countered and Bryan hits a tornado DDT on Show for two.

The LeBell (NO!) Lock is put on Show but Henry breaks it up in about a second. The WMD gets two on Henry but Bryan makes the save, which ticks Show off. Bryan SPRINTS up the cage but Show chases after him and grabs Bryan before he can get out. Bryan sits on the top of the cage and pounds away, only to be caught again. The champion is literally hanging from Show’s wrist before finally letting go and falling to the floor to retain the title.

Rating: D+. This really wasn’t all that great. At the end of the day, it was a lot of the same sequence over and over again with Show and Henry not having a ton of interaction at all. The ending didn’t look great either and I’m not sure why Show would just hold him out over the floor like that. This falls under the category of “…..really?” as it’s hard to buy Bryan keeping the belt here.

Long video on Cena and all the stuff he does for WWE. The man is insanely committed to that company.

Divas of Doom/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Alicia Fox/Tamina/Kelly Kelly

The Divas of Doom are Beth and Natalya. Natalya and Tamina start things off and they collide a few times. Tamina slaps her in the face before chopping Nattie down for two. Off to Eve for that bouncing moonsault for two. Since that’s a pretty lame move, Natalya charges her into the corner and brings in Beth who blocks a rolling splash with knees to Eve’s back.

Off to let’s say Nikki for some basic stomps to the back and a quickly broken chinlock. Jerry is asked what he likes about the Bellas and he can’t even get an answer out. Not hot tag brings in Alicia who is immediately sent into the corner and chinlocked as well. Alicia finally counters by flipping Nikki forward and makes the actual hot tag to Kelly. There’s the screaming headscissors and a faceplant for two. Everything breaks down and almost everyone heads to the floor, where Kelly hits a HUGE dive to take everyone out. Back in and Beth SLAPS herself in to hit the Glam Slam on Kelly for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was your usual Divas match: they did their “sexy” spots, they had barely there outfits, Kelly screamed a lot, Beth beat up Kelly to end things. One interesting note from a year later: would they even be able to put together an eight Divas tag now? I’m thinking through the roster and I don’t know if I can name eight girls on the main shows right now.

We recap Ryder getting hurt at the hands of Kane. This was during the period where Ryder went from one of the hottest things in the company and US Champion to a rag doll that Kane destroyed over and over and over in the span of a few weeks until his push was completely destroyed. Eve blamed Cena for Ryder having his back broken for some reason.

Ryder is wheeled in and patronized by Johnny Ace (remember him?). Ace has a private room set up for Ryder but Eve comes up to yell at Ace first. Not much here but it’s setting up stuff later on tonight.

Kane vs. John Cena

This is when Kane had the welder’s mask look. Brawl to start with Kane beating Cena down into the corner as the fans are split on Johnny. A clothesline puts them both on the floor where Kane is sent knees first into the steps. Back in and Cena can’t hit the AA on Kane. That makes sense as after all, Kane is probably 175lbs lighter than Show who Cena throws around with near ease most of the time.

Kane kicks Cena down and gets two off an uppercut. A suplex gets the same and it’s off to a chinlock. Cena fights up and is sent into the buckle for his efforts followed by Kane’s stupid smother hold. John tries to counter into a Crossface but Kane comes out with a side slam. The idea here is that Cena can’t get anything going at all. The top rope clothesline takes Cena’s head off but Cena pops up and hits his shoulder block.

The Shuffle is countered by a grab of Cena’s throat and a big boot gets two. Cena blocks a superplex and hits the Shuffle off the top. That’s certainly a new one. The AA is countered by an elbow to the face and Kane kicks Cena out to the floor. Booker talks about how Cena is a good kid. I don’t think I ever recall Cena being called a kid since like 2004. Kane pounds on Cena in the aisle and that’s a double countout so we can do this match again next month.

Rating: D+. I know that’s a common theme tonight but it fits here again. These two didn’t work all that well together and the story was even worse. Then again, this was nothing more than giving Cena something to do for a few months until he could get ready for the biggest match of his career. This didn’t work for the most part.

The fight continues into the back where Kane finds a chair to lay to lay out Cena. To the shock of no one paying attention, Kane finds the door to Ryder’s private room and kicks the door in. Ryder is taken to the ring and tombstoned as Eve screams. Cena comes out to try to save Eve but gets chokeslammed by Kane who walks away. Ryder does a stretcher job, but somehow it would get even worse for him in the coming weeks.

BE A STAR!

Zack is wheeled out and Cena is booed for it. That’s the part of this story that never held up for me: why is this Cena’s responsibility? Ryder was the United States Champion. He should be able to defend himself.

We get a video on the Rock just like Cena got earlier. It’s shot in the back of Rock’s car and is more like a mini documentary. It focuses on how insane Rock’s life is and all of the stuff he does around the world.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay

This is right after Brodus redebuted as the Funkasaurus so he was still a new character at this point. Brodus dances a lot, Drew punches him in the corner, Brodus headbutts him and hits the cross body (called WHAT THE FUNK) for the pin in about a minute.

Buy Slim Jims! For the troops!

We recap Cena vs. Ziggler who is challenging Punk on Ace’s behalf. This is during the “Ace is boring” phase where Punk made fun of him no matter what he did, so Ace helped Ziggler get a win over Punk to earn a title shot. Ace is also guest referee tonight just because. He’s openly admitted he’s going to screw Punk out of the title tonight, so HHH is going to evaluate his job status the next night on Raw, meaning Ace has to play nice.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Punk is defending and Ace is referee. Johnny Ace is John Laurinitis but that’s a hard name to spell. Before the match, Ace says he’ll be the outside referee. Ok then. Wait we’re still not ready to go as Ace throws Vickie out as well. We finally get going and Ziggler tries a quick Fameasser which is countered into a failed GTS attempt. Punk tells Dolph it was that close. They feel each other out a bit longer until Ziggler starts strutting.

Punk finally gets his hands on Ziggler and puts on an abdominal stretch, complete with a wrapped toe and slicking back his hair ala Ziggler. Dolph heads to the floor and gets taken out by a suicide dive but shoves Punk off the top rope once they get back inside. Ziggler drops about eight elbows in a row and a jumping version gets two. We hit the chinlock with Ziggler cranking on the head way more than necessary.

The champ starts firing off chops and strikes before getting caught in the sleeper. That goes nowhere but neither does Punk’s Anaconda Vice attempt. Back to the sleeper but Dolph can’t get it on all the way. Instead there’s a perfect dropkick for two on Punk but the Fameasser is countered into a helicopter bomb for two. A swinging neckbreaker by the champ puts Dolph into the corner where the knee/bulldog combination actually works.

The GTS is countered into a slingshot but Punk lands on the middle rope. He comes off with a spinning cross body but Ziggler rolls through for a near fall in a cool sequence. The high kick gets two for Punk as does the Macho Elbow, drawing a Randy Savage chant. The GTS is countered again and the referee goes down as per the requirement in a world title mach. Punk hooks the Vice but Ace is checking on the down referee. Then Punk gets a rollup and there’s STILL no referee.

Ace sends the referee back in as Punk loads up the GTS, but Ziggler’s legs knock Ace to the floor. Ace sees the pin but refuses to count because he thinks Punk did it on purpose. Ziggler counters another GTS attempt into the Fameasser for two before pounding away a bit. The champ comes back with a slingshot and the GTS gets a pin from both referees to retain the title.

Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going as we were all waiting on the Ace stuff. The feud would go on for weeks until Jericho finally showed up to give Punk someone with charisma to feud with. The near falls at the end were a lot better than Ace, but it occurs to me that this was pretty much the same match he had last year. Good stuff though.

Rumble by the Numbers:

30 Superstars
1 winner
31 Hall of Famers in the Rumble
21 main events those Hall of Famers have been in at Wrestlemania
695 entrants who have been eliminated
39 entrants eliminated by Michaels, a record (Kane is second at 35)
13 consecutive Rumbles for Kane
11 eliminations for Kane in 2001
194,107lbs that have been in the Rumble, or over 97 tons, or 430 Big Show
421,883 people who have attended the Rumble
62:12 Rey Mysterio spent in the Rumble in 2006, a record
3 wins for Austin
1 second that Santino lasted in 2009
2 women who have competed in the Rumble
1, the entrant that has produced the same amount of winners as #30 at two each
27, the entrant with more winners than any other at four
55 percent of winners that have won the title at Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

The Miz is #1 and talks about how he’s going back to the main event of Wrestlemania this year. His former apprentice Alex Riley is #2 which isn’t really surprising given how RANDOM these draws are. I always liked Riley and he always got a good reaction, which is clearly why he doesn’t get on TV more. Riley pounds away to start and runs Miz over with a forearm but walks into a big boot. Maybe it’s the old school fan in me but I don’t like a 6’0 guy using a big boot. Miz talks trash and low bridges Riley out with ease.

R-Truth, Miz’s former partner, is #3. Truth fires off some kicks and avoids the Finale before hitting a kind of powerslam. Miz gets sent to the apron for the second time but Truth turns his back to watch Cody come out at #4. A quick Disaster Kick puts Truth down (Cole says it hits Miz because those two are so hard to tell apart) and Truth gets double teamed for awhile. He manages to send Cody to the apron but gets caught in the Reality Check as the clock seems to be speeding up.

Justin Gabriel is #5 and things speed WAY up. A big spinwheel kick puts Miz down before Cody goes nuts on Gabriel in the corner. Primo is #6 to keep things low key to start. Actually he speeds things up as well and hits a sweet headscissors out of the corner to take Gabriel down. Truth hits the spinning forearm on Cody, only to be dumped out by Miz a second later. Since he’s still crazy, Truth pulls Miz to the floor and lays him out on the outside.

Mick Foley is #7 to fire up the crowd a little bit. He dumps Primo almost immediately before getting beaten on by Cody. Foley looks really old and slow here but to be fair, he is in fact old and slow. In a HILARIOUS bit, Ricardo Rodriguez is #8 but comes out in an old banged up, rusted out rental car. He’s even got the Del Rio scarf to hide some of his hideous pale body. We get a HUGE Ricardo chant as Foley and Gabriel have no idea what to do here.

Ricardo takes Cody down and pounds away before proposing an alliance with Foley of all people. They actually do team up and toss Gabriel, allowing Ricardo to do a CM Punk knee slide. We keep the comedy going with Santino at #9 and Ricardo runs from the Cobra. Santino beats on Ricardo and literally rolls him around the ring before pulling his trunks up and tossing Rodriguez.

Now we get my favorite spot of the match as Santino puts on the Cobra and Mick puts on Socko and it’s TIME FOR A DUEL!!! Before they can collide though it’s Epico at #10 but he falls to the powers of the socks and is out almost immediately. The socks COLLIDE until Miz and Cody pop back in (neither was eliminated) and dump Santino. Miz gets Socko but Cody dumps Mick. Fun comedy bit here to give us a good first act to the match.

Kofi Kingston is #11 and hits a double springboard clothesline before hitting a double Boom Drop. In at #12 is Jerry Lawler (Cole: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”) and he causes Miz to hit Cody by mistake. Lawler speeds things up and hits the middle rope punch with the lowered strap, only to be put out by Cody. Ezekiel Jackson is #13 and gets to do the usual power moves on each guy while the others lay around.

Jinder Mahal is #14 and the fans start chanting USA, even though the only two Americans in this match are Rhodes and Miz. Great Khali comes in at #15 and Mahal panics. Everyone gets chops and Mahal is out in just a few seconds. Jackson tries to pound away and is put out almost immediately as well. Hunico is #16 on that stupid bicycle of his and hits a spinning cross body on Miz and his Angle Slam on Cody.

Khali chops Hunico down as the ring is staying relatively empty. Booker T is #17 to surprise Cole. You would think he would have noticed that the man sitting next to him for over two hours wasn’t wearing pants but he never was considered that bright. Now we get the spot of the match as Miz shoves Kofi to the floor but Kofi holds himself up by his hands. Miz shoves Kofi into a handstand but Kingston WALKS ON HIS HANDS ACROSS THE FLOOR TO THE STEPS to get back in. FREAKING AWESOME MAN!

Dolph Ziggler is #18 as the ring is starting to get full. Hacksaw Jim Duggan makes his annual return at #19 to pop the crowd huge. He cleans house for a bit and we get a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER on Miz and Rhodes. Cody avoids a charge in the corner though and dumps Duggan in less than a minute. That’s the best idea at the end of the day. Miz and Cody team up to put out Booker and Khali at the same time.

We complete the trio with Michael Cole at #20. At the moment we’ve got Cole, Miz, Rhodes, Kingston, Hunico and Ziggler in the ring. Kharma returns at #21 in her only WWE match ever. She hits Cole so hard she knocks his headgear off so Cole eliminates himself. Well he gets to the apron where Cole and Booker eliminate him. Ziggler tells Kharma to get out so she DRILLS him. Kharma dumps Hunico but Ziggler sneaks up and eliminates her (Booker calls this doing the impossible. Not really Book.) to a ton of heat.

Sheamus is #22 to give us some A level star power. Well maybe B+ level. Things speed up with Sheamus destroying everyone and tossing Kofi out. There are the ten forearms in the ropes to Cody and ten to Miz as well. The Zig Zag is countered and Road Dogg is another surprise return at #23. He gets to clean house for a bit and earns a “you still got it” chant. In far less than 90 seconds, Jey Uso is #24.

Everyone pairs off until Jack Swagger is #25. After a few suplexes everything settles down into its usual brawling phase until Barrett is #26. He throws out Roadie and stomps away on a lot of people. David Otunga gets the lucky spot at #27 and poses a lot before he comes out. Not a lot happens so Orton comes in at #28 to pick things up a bit. Remember we’re in his hometown so everyone goes nuts.

Cody breaks up the RKO on Barrett so Randy hits the Elevated DDT on both Cody and Ziggler at the same time because he can. There’s an RKO to Barrett and he’s out. Chris Jericho, complete with a blackout of the arena, makes his return at #29. He’s still a face at this point and dumps Otunga to a good reaction. Big Show is #30 which was considered a letdown at the time. Dude, he was world champion a month ago. That’s hardly Darren Young coming out.

As Show comes in he pulls Swagger out from the floor, giving us a final grouping of Miz, Rhodes, Ziggler, Sheamus, Orton, Jericho and Big Show. That’s a pretty solid grouping. Show dumps Cody and Miz at the same time to get us down to five. Show tosses Ziggler as well to get us down to four. The big man cleans house but walks into an RKO, allowing Orton and Sheamus to pick him up and Randy clotheslines him out. Jericho dumps Orton immediately thereafter and we’re down to two.

The fans are entirely behind Jericho here so Sheamus runs him over a few times. Jericho’s bulldog is countered but Sheamus can’t throw him over the corner. Jericho charges into the Irish Curse but Sheamus can’t hit the High Cross. We get a great false finish with Jericho clotheslining Sheamus to the apron and then knocking him down to the point where Sheamus is hanging on by his leg. Sheamus comes back in with the slingshot shoulder but the Brogue Kick is countered into the Walls.

After the hold is broken Jericho gets knocked to the apron where he BARELY hangs on. They go to the top rope and both fall to the apron, meaning if they hit the floor they’re out. Both guys get back in and there’s the Codebreaker to Sheamus. Jericho gets Sheamus upside down but can’t get him out. A shot to the face ticks Sheamus off and he catches a Codebreaker attempt to put Jericho on the apron. The Brogue Kick sends Sheamus to Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. This is one of those Rumbles that is great fun as you watch it live but it loses some steam on a second viewing. They spent a bit too much time on nostalgia and funny ideas here but they were still really good ideas. The ending with Sheamus and Jericho ROCKED and I have no idea why they never got to have a long PPV match. This is a really good Rumble but it never reaches that excellent level that some of them get to.

Sheamus celebrates a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The Rumble is a unique show as it has a way to save itself from a bad first half. That’s what happened here as the last two matches were certainly good enough to save it from the horrible first few matches. As usual the last two guys would both get world title shots with the winner getting the opening match instead of the real main event, but going on before Rock vs. Cena is hardly torture.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Original: C-
Redo: D+

Bella Twins/Divas of Doom vs. Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Tamina

Original: D+
Redo: D+

Kane vs. John Cena

Original: D+
Redo: D+

Brodus Clay vs. Drew McIntyre

Original: N/A
Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B
Redo: B+

Royal Rumble

Original: B+
Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-
Redo: B

Just like last year, not much difference here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2002 (2012 Redo): OK HHH, Go Ahead

Royal Rumble 2002
Date: January 20, 2002
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 12,915
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is the first step to things falling downhill, as we’re a few months away from the Brand Split and things falling through the floor in quality. The main event tonight aside from the Rumble is Jericho defending his newly won Undisputed Title (which he won by beating the Rock and Steve Austin IN THE SAME NIGHT in case you didn’t know that) against Rock. HHH is back in the ring tonight also (he may have fought on Smackdown before this but I don’t think he did) so let’s get to it.

The opening video has clips of various Rumble wins in a photo album kind of theme. The theme for this year’s show is 30 Men, 1 Winner. I’ve heard worse ideas which we’ll get too very soon.

Tag Titles: Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Dudley Boys

Spike and Tazz are defending here in a reign that I don’t think anyone ever remembers. The Dudleys beat up Spike recently so he’s in a neck brace. The Dudleys attack to start and hit the belly to back neckbreaker on Tazz on the floor. It’s Bubba vs. Spike to start things off in a handicap match for all intents and purposes. Bubba rips the neck brace off and drops a big elbow.

Bubba shouts at Spike to get up as we get a very nice shot of Stacy. Tazz is back on the apron as D-Von hits a Hennig necksnap of all things. Bubba loads up a second brainbuster on Spike but gets countered into a Dudley Dog for no cover. The tag to Tazz is missed so Spike has to take a double flapjack instead. Spike avoids a headbutt from D-Von and makes the Dudleys clothesline each other. Hot tag brings in Tazz to clean house with suplexes. A big boot to Bubba’s head sets up a top rope cross body by Spike for two. Stacy interferes and gets put in the Tazmission. D-Von gets caught in the same hold and the champions retain.

Rating: D+. I have no idea what the point of this being on PPV was as it barely broke five minutes. Nothing with Stacy with the Dudleys can be bad, but this came about as close as you can get. Actually scratch that as it wasn’t so much bad but just short. I have no idea why this wasn’t on Raw or something like that. Tazz would be retired very soon after this due to a horrible neck.

We immediately go to a recap of Regal vs. Edge which is based on Regal using brass knuckles over and over again. Edge got fed up with it and beat up a lot of people with a chair.

Edge has a chair with him tonight to counter the knuckles. Apparently he broke Regal’s nose recently.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

Edge is defending. The referee checks Regal over and over again for knuckles and finds them in his trunks. Well you can’t say he didn’t do his job. The referee stupidly puts them on the ring post instead of like, giving them to someone to take to the back or something. Edge pounds away to start and chokes with his boot in the corner. He goes after Regal’s bad nose as Lawler claims conspiracy.

Regal comes back with a clothesline but Edge kicks him in the back to put both guys down. Being the British dude that he is, Regal suplexes Edge down for two. Make that four. Uh six. Yet somehow that isn’t three. Off to an arm trap chinlock followed by a hard forearm to put the champion down again. A double arm powerbomb hits Edge for two and they head to the apron. Edge busts out a DDT onto said apron, further injuring Regal’s nose.

Back in and they ram heads to put both guys down as the match continues to drag at a slow pace. Edge wins a slugout and takes Regal down with a spinwheel kick and a suplex for two. Regal suplexes him down as well, only for Edge to hit a big old clothesline for two more. The Regal Stretch goes on out of nowhere but Edge reverses into a terrible version of his own to no avail. A top rope spinwheel kick puts Regal down but he finds another set of brass knuckles. Instead of swinging them though, he pulls the referee in the way of Edge’s spear. Regal clocks Edge and wins the title.

Rating: D+. This didn’t click at all. Regal didn’t seem interested in selling at all and Edge wasn’t ready to carry a match by himself yet. He was getting to the point where he could but it would take a summer of feuding with Eddie to get him up to that point. Regal wouldn’t really do anything with the belt other than lose it to RVD. Nothing to see here.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Jacqueline is referee for absolutely no apparent reason and Trish is defending. Jazz is basically being a bully and has injured Trish’s hand coming into this. Jazz jumps Trish to start but misses a splash, giving Trish two off a rollup. A modified hot shot slows the champ down again and a legdrop gets two. Jazz works on the bad hand for a bit but Jackie pulls them out of the ropes. Jackie of course makes it all about herself and won’t count a cover on Trish. Stratusfaction hits out of nowhere for two and Jazz is up a few seconds later, basically no selling it. Trish hits a bad looking running bulldog to retain.

Rating: D. It was short, it was sloppy, the ending was stupid and Jackie was in it. What other kind of grade do you expect here? Stratus was starting to get better but it would take another year and Lita before she got amazing. Jazz was a pretty stupid pick to bring over to WWE as no one remembered her and she didn’t have the looks to back up any lack of hype. Bad match here.

Flair says he’ll win.

We recap Vince vs. Flair. Flair debuted after Survivor Series as the new co-owner of the company and has driven Vince crazy since. This led up to a street fight tonight between the two of them tonight which isn’t as big a deal as they were shooting for I don’t think. The highlight of it was Vince dressing up as Flair and saying destroying lives turned him on.

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Remember this is a street fight. Vince shoves him down to start and struts, so Flair punches him down and struts as well. Flair wins a chop battle in the corner (duh) so Vince goes to the eyes to escape. There’s the Flair Flop followed by a Flair Flip in the corner as Vince is in full control. We head to the floor and get our first weapon shot, with Vince pounding on Ric with a metal Keep Off sign.

There’s a trashcan shot to the head and Flair is busted open. How thin must the skin on his forehead be? Anyway, Vince steals a camera from someone to take a picture of Flair’s cut before we head back inside. Since he’s a jerk, Vince starts working over the knee in (less skilled) Flair fashion. The leg is wrapped around the post and Vince puts on a Figure Four that Dusty Rhodes would be jealous of.

Flair turns the hold over and Vince IMMEDIATELY lets go of the hold. So not only is he better at it than some wrestlers, he’s also smart. Never let it be said that Vince doesn’t know what he’s doing. Vince bails to the floor and grabs a lead pipe that he used to bust Flair open in the build up to the match. Flair catches him coming in with a low blow and pounds away on the floor.

Vince takes a monitor shot to the head and in a weird spot, we see a replay on the monitor on the table as the live match goes on. Vince is busted open now and we head back inside. Scratch that as we go back outside immediately where Flair’s family takes pictures of Vince’s cut. Set it up earlier, pay it off later. Good move. Back in and Flair kicks him low again just because he can, cracks him in the head with the pipe and ends it with the Figure Four.

Rating: C+. At the end of the day, this match makes as much sense as almost anything you’ll see. Vince controlled at the beginning, but at the end of the day he’s a boss and Flair is a veteran wrestler and athlete. It makes sense for him to be able to shrug that off and destroy Vince with relative ease once he got the upper hand. On top of that we got some good blood and Vince getting hit in the balls so how can this not be entertaining?

Stephanie talks trash about everyone else in the Rumble and runs down Debra as well. Austin walks up and WHAT’s her away. Cole gets a bit of it too. This is when the bit was brand new and still kind of funny, as opposed to now when it ruins almost every serious promo.

No highlight package for the world title match? For those of you not around in 2002 (LUCKY!), Jericho won the title in December, beating Rock along the way. It makes sense for Rock to get the first shot, especially since they feuded over the end of the year.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho still has both titles because HHH wasn’t there to win the first Undisputed Title and get the new belt. Rock decks him immediately and the champ heads to the floor, only to run back in and get punched some more. Jericho misses a charge and hits the post but pulls off a hot shot out of nowhere to give himself a breather. They trade strikes in the corner before Jericho hits a spinwheel kick to Rocky’s arms for two.

A suplex gets two for Jericho and for some reason Rock’s left thumb is sticking out. The champ unhooks a buckle but can’t get the Walls. A missile dropkick gets two on Rock and it’s off to the chinlock. That goes on for a good while so Chris goes up again, only to get crotched and superplexed. A belly to belly suplex gets two for Rock but Jericho clotheslines him down and hits the Lionsault. Due to high reasons of arrogance, Jericho waits forever to cover and fights with the referee after getting two.

Another dropkick attempt by Jericho is caught in a Sharpshooter, but here’s Lance Storm for a distraction while Jericho taps. Christian comes in as well and is promptly punched out by Rock. Jericho hits a Rock Bottom on Rock for two and the frustration begins. The champ loads up a People’s Elbow but Rock nips up and sends Jericho out to the floor.

Both guys are rammed into both announce tables before Jericho’s Rock Bottom attempt is countered into an AWESOME looking Rock Bottom by Rock from one table through the other. That only gets two back inside before Jericho counters another Rock Bottom into the Liontamer (yes I said Liontamer instead of the Walls). Ok now it’s the Walls, which allows Rock to make the rope.

The jumping clothesline takes the referee down by mistake, allowing Jericho to blast Rock with the belt. Another referee slides in and gets two off that and Rock DDTs Jericho down. Rock covers….and Nick Patrick won’t count. There’s a Rock Bottom for his efforts and a People’s Elbow for Jericho but there’s no referee. Rock checks on Hebner, allowing Jericho to hit him low, send him into the Chekov’s Gun in the shape of an exposed turnbuckle. All that plus a rollup with his feet on the ropes is enough for Jericho to retain the title.

Rating: B. This took awhile to get going but once things picked up it turned into what you would expect from Rock vs. Jericho in a nearly 20 minute match. The overbooking worked here as Jericho needed something to boost him up to Rock’s level, which is what you’re supposed to do as a heel. Good stuff here and a very fine title match.

Shawn Michaels, in a really stupid looking Texas flag shirt, is at WWF New York. He picks Taker or Austin to win the Rumble.

Video on the Rumble. The main picks to win are Taker, HHH, Angle and Austin.

Royal Rumble

Rikishi and Goldust are #1 and #2 respectively and we’ve got two minute intervals. Goldie walks around Rikishi to start and gets punched in the face for his efforts. Rikishi knocks him around for a bit but can’t quite drop the big load on Goldie’s chest. A backdrop puts Goldust on the apron and Boss Man is #3, making it 2-1 against Rikishi. Goldust gets punched in the face but Boss Man pounds Rikishi into the corner. The heels explode after a long one minute partnership.

Bradshaw is #4 and hopefully he can pick things up a bit. He beats up everyone as Rikishi loads up the Stinkface on Boss Man. A superkick and a clothesline put Boss Man out and there’s a Samoan Drop to Bradshaw. Goldie pounds away on Bradshaw in the corner and gets powerbombed for his efforts. Lance Storm is #5 and absolutely nothing of note happens until Al Snow (on Tough Enough at this point) is #6. Bradshaw kills Storm with the Clothesline as the fans want Head.

Billy of Billy and Chuck is #7 and we’re still waiting on something to happen. The fans are still into this at least so it’s not a failure at this point. Storm and Snow fight to the apron with Snow superkicking Lance to an elimination. Billy dumps Bradshaw and Undertaker is finally #8 to pick things up a bit. A chokeslam kills Billy (the third in the series, not starring Uma Thurman) and another one puts out Goldust. Snow and Rikishi are dumped out and Billy follows them, leaving Undertaker alone to a big reaction. He’s evil here in case you’re not up on Taker history.

Matt Hardy is #9, which is interesting as Taker injured both Hardys and Lita. The redhead gets in along with Matt and helps him take the big man down via a low blow. Matt hits a Twist of Fate and stomps away but can’t get Taker out. Naturally Jeff Hardy is #10 because that’s how the TOTALLY RANDOM draw works in the Rumble.

Taker slugs down one of the best tag teams ever in just a few seconds, only to get caught in the Twist/Swanton combo. Again, why would you use moves that keep a giant on the mat? Not that it matters as Poetry in Motion is caught and Jeff is easily thrown out. The Last Ride kills Matt and he’s gone too, leaving Taker alone again. The clock during that segment was REALLY long too as they were roughly three minutes each to get the whole segment in.

Maven from Tough Enough is #11 but Lita is on the apron. Taker PUNCHES her down, drawing the Hardys back in. Taker dumps both of them again, but Maven dropkicks Undertaker in the back and eliminates him in arguably the biggest surprise elimination ever in the Rumble. The look on the Dead Man’s face is hilarious as he has absolutely no emotion at all. He calmly turns around, gets back in the ring, and mauls Maven, sending him through the ropes to the floor. A HUGE chair shot cracks Maven’s head and the beating continues until Scotty 2 Hotty is #12.

Taker punches Scotty down and throws Maven back in to eliminate him, which under old Rumble rules would count. The beating goes into the crowd as there’s nothing in the ring at the moment. Christian is #13 but has no one to fight because Scotty is still down. Instead we go to the back where Maven is rammed face first into a popcorn machine. Taker eats a handful of popcorn and finally leaves Maven alone.

Scotty gets in and walks into a DDT as DDP is #14. Nothing of note continues to happen until Scotty superkicks Page through the ropes to the floor and hits the Worm on Christian. Page sneaks back in and throws Scotty out as Chuck is #15. They all beat on each other for a bit with Christian and Chuck teaming up for a bit. Godfather, now the owner of an escort service in an attempt to salvage the gimmick, is #16 and brings out 12 good looking women with him. Page is eliminated off camera during this.

With Godfather in the ring after about 15 seconds due to dancing, Albert is #17. He’s the Hip Hop Hippo at this point and lasts about 45 seconds before being tossed by the villains. Godfather is dumped soon thereafter, and here’s Saturn at #18. Chuck and Perry slug it out as the fans cheer for the Ho’s leaving. Nothing happens again, until Austin is #19. Chuck is the first victim, getting stomped down in the corner. There goes Christian, Saturn gets a Stunner, Chuck is eliminated, Saturn is dumped, Christian gets thrown back in, Stunned and thrown out again, Chuck gets the same as Christian, and Austin takes a breather.

Val Venis is #20 (and also returning) and things go about as you would expect, although Val does get in some offense and survives until Test is #21. A double teaming lasts for a bit until Austin remembers who he’s fighting and dumps both guys in a few seconds. Austin does his watch bit when no one is in the ring with him. Notice the difference between the big stars and the regular guys: the big ones are CONSTANTLY trying to keep the audience entertained instead of letting them die.

Speaking of entertaining the crowd, HHH is #22. The entrance takes about a minute and a half, they stare at each other for about twenty more seconds, and the slugout only lasts for a few seconds until Hurricane is #23. Luckily for him, the legends knock each other down so Hurricane can tries a double chokeslam. The look on Austin’s face is hilarious as the two of them dump Hurricane with ease.

Austin and HHH chop each other in the corner until Faarooqq is #24 and lasts about that many seconds. Mr. Perfect makes a surprise return at #25 to a big surprise reaction from the audience. He looks a bit, shall we say, tipsy here. Perfect chills on the floor a bit as JR makes a mistake, saying Perfect debuted at the Rumble in 1993. In reality he was #4 in 1989. Austin and HHH double team Perfect to no avail so here’s Angle at #26, drawing the rare double chant of YOU SUCK WHAT.

HHH and Angle pair off as do the other two guys and the match slows down a bit. Kurt starts suplexing people but can’t dump HHH because Austin makes the save due to reasons of a big ego. Big Show is #27 in his one piece women’s swimsuit. Angle gets chokeslammed so Austin and HHH double team the big man to limited avail. HHH saves Angle, presumably because he wants Kurt’s help to get Show out. Makes sense I guess.

Show dominates everyone until Kane is #28. HHH gets chokeslammed so we can have our battle of the giants. Jerry: “They’re not getting any smaller are they JR?” Uh yeah Jerry, actually they are. They do the double chokeslam spot but Kane kicks Show low and picks him up, slamming him to the floor. AWESOME display of strength there, but Angle immediately dumps Kane to get us back down to four.

Van Dam is #29 and hits a Five Star on Angle who is down from something we didn’t see. Everyone but HHH gets kicked down so he hits a Pedigree to put Van Dam down. Booker T is #30, giving us a final group of Booker, RVD, Angle, Perfect, HHH and Austin. Booker throws out RVD without having to do anything else thanks to the Pedigree. We get a Spinarooni, followed by a Stunner and elimination to get us down to Austin, Angle, HHH and Perfect.

Austin hits a slingshot into the post on HHH who walks into an Angle Slam. Angle rolls some Germans on Austin and the C/Kurts try to dump Austin. Austin hits some HARD right hands to break that up but as he tries to dump Perfect, Angle runs up and dumps the Rattlesnake. Austin pulls Perfect to the floor but Kurt sends Austin into the steps to break it up. Steve still isn’t done as he comes back in with a chair for all three guys. Eh he’s Austin so he can get away with it.

Angle accidentally clothesline Hennig but doesn’t eliminate him. There’s the PerfectPlex (BIG pop for that) to Kurt but HHH dumps Perfect a second later. Angle and HHH stare each other down and the Game pounds away on him to take over. Kurt gets HHH to the apron but can’t get the win. HHH chokes away but charges into a backdrop, sending him to the apron. Kurt makes the classic mistake of not making sure the other guy is out and gets clotheslined to the floor, giving HHH the Rumble. For you trivia guys, this is the longest Rumble ever to date, even going 11 seconds longer than the 40 man version.

Rating: C+. This has some very bad spots in it but the rest of the stuff is solid all around. Once Austin gets in there things pick up a lot, but the 18 guys before him don’t do much. Taker’s elimination came too fast which hurt things here, as there was no one of note from #9 until Austin at #19. Still though, the good stuff here was good enough to check this out, but you might want to fast forward some parts of it.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a pretty good but certainly not great show. 2002 was a bad year for the company on Raw and things were clearly starting to look weak here. The main problem was the lack of elevation of anyone new to the main event in the year, as the main events for almost every PPV were people who had been there before. There’s nothing on here that’s required viewing but there’s also nothing terrible on here either. Check it out but don’t expect to be blown away.

Ratings Comparison

Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Billy and Chuck

Original: C-
Redo: D+

William Regal vs. Edge

Original: C-
Redo: D+

Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

Original: D+
Redo: D

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Original: D+
Redo: C+

Chris Jericho vs. The Rock

Original: B+
Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: C-
Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B-
Redo: B-

Yep, about the same for the most part here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling – July 8, 2021: He Needs A Better Bat

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 8, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Lo Brown

We’re almost up to Slammiversary and that means it is time for the final push towards the show. The Elite got to stand tall at the end of last week’s show but they are going to have to get what is coming to them sooner rather than later. It wouldn’t surprise me to see them lose a bit of ground here, but you never can tell with them. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Kenny Omega and Don Callis are here for the contract signing between Omega and Sami Callihan, who doesn’t have them worried.

Opening sequence.

Brian Myers vs. Jake Something

The loser has to admit the other is a professional and Sam Beale is here with Myers. Something slugs away to start and they’re on the floor in a hurry with Myers being sent face first into the steps. They head back inside where Myers is clotheslined straight back to the floor in a hurry.

This time Myers gets in a shot of his own, setting up a suplex onto the ramp. Josh: “Jake Something experiencing what it is like to get suplexed onto the ramp. You fans can experience what it is like to see Impact Wrestling live!” Points for a good transition. Beale gets in a cheap shot from the floor but Something is back with a powerbomb. Myers grabs a DDT for two and goes up top for the elbow and a rather near fall. The Roster Cut is countered into the swinging Black Hole Slam to give Something the fast win at 5:19.

Rating: C. Ignoring the stupid Something name, this could have been worse and the ending was clean. It had a personal story behind it and that is about all you can ask for in something like this. They only had about five minutes so they did what they could, which is a little bit more than I was expecting.

Post match Something tells Myers to say it but Myers stalls until Beale can get in a cheap shot. Matt Cardona comes in for the save, likely setting up the tag match.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Deonna Purrazzo is ready to keep the Knockouts Title without Kimber Lee and Susan. She is so confident that it’s open challenge time. I still need a moratorium on those things already.

Sami Callihan is ready for the contract signing when he is arrested for assaulting Don Callis. Sami: “I DID NOTHING THIS TIME!!!”

Knockouts Title: Deonna Purrazzo vs. ???

Purrazzo is defending against….the debuting Lady Frost (Dave Penzer: “From somewhere cold!”). Purrazzo doesn’t seem overly intimidated and takes Frost into the corner to stomp away. A roundhouse kick takes Purrazzo down but Frost misses a moonsault, injuring her ankle in the process. With Frost down, the Fujiwara armbar makes her tap at 2:35.

Post match Purrazzo calls Frost another brick in the age of the Virtuosa. She is the greatest Knockouts Champion of all time but here is Gail Kim to interrupt. Kim is here to talk about Slammiversary but she is NOT challenging for the title. Instead, Kim and Scott D’Amore have found a challenger for the title at Slammiversary and Purrazzo isn’t finding out until the show. Be ready for the fight of your life.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Mickie James retains the Knockouts Title over Angelina Love at Slammiversary 2011.

Chris Sabin comes in to the empty Swinger’s Palace but Johnny Swinger isn’t there. Sabin asks one of the Swingerellas about her cat’s surgery but here’s Moose to jump both Sabin and Hernandez.

Chris Bey has made his decision about his side in the X-Division war, but he isn’t friends with anyone on his side.

W. Morrissey vs. Jason Page/Manny Smith/Deontay Evans

Before the match, Morrissey accepts Eddie Edwards’ challenge for Slammiversary and promises to demonstrate what is coming for him. Clotheslines and splashes set up a chokeslam and a powerbomb to put all three down at once. The release F5 lets Morrissey stack them up for the pin at 1:54. Well that was effective.

Video on the Knockouts division and how awesome the whole group is.

Don Callis is rather serious about the assault and isn’t taking this lightly. He even has footage of what happened and we see “Callihan” (mostly from behind and with his face covered) hitting him. Scott D’Amore says the contract signing is taking place tonight anyway.

Susan/Kimber Lee vs. Rosemary/Havok

Susan panics at having to start with Rosemary and it’s off to Havok for a double clothesline. Lee comes in and hammers away to no avail before being screamed down. Havok tosses Lee around with ease so Rosemary comes back in. This time Lee actually manages to do something of her own, with a series of kicks to the head. Susan and Lee start taking turns on Rosemary in the corner, which lasts all of ten seconds before she gets away for the tag off to Havok. Everything breaks down and Havok knocks Lee off the top to the floor. Rosemary spears Susan for the pin at 4:11.

Rating: D+. Remember when Susan was Su Yung, the indestructible monster of the division? Well now she’s losing in a mostly one sided tag match in about four minutes. At least they turned her into some kind of a joke with the pants suit, because that’s what you should do with someone as unique and talented as Yung. As usual, this company makes some really strange choices from time to time.

We go to the locker room for It’s All About Me, with Jazz (in a Shad Gaspard shirt) as this week’s guest. She gets to ask Tenille Dashwood a question, but Dashwood asks her about Rachael Ellering and Jordynne Grace’s instead. With that not working, Kaleb With A K asks what it means for Dashwood, who blames Jazz for everything falling apart. Dashwood thinks that sounds like Jazz’s career before backing away. Jazz gets shoved into the camera to wrap it up.

Post break, Grace and Ellering come in to check on Jazz. Revenge is sworn, with Ellering not being happy with Jazz being treated like this. Seems like a mixed tag is set for next week.

Here are Rich Swann and Willie Mack for a chat. Swann talks about how they like to fight straight up but Violent By Design jumped them last week. The challenge is sent out for the Tag Team Title shot but TJP and Fallah Bahh interrupt instead. The line starts behind them in the same promo you’ve heard a hundred times. Cue Violent By Design for the showdown but the Good Brothers come in as well, with both guys talking about how great they are in a southern preacher style. Cue Tommy Dreamer to announce a four way tag at Slammiversary. Great. Speaking of great, it’s time for a four way.

Deaner vs. Rich Swann vs. TJP vs. Karl Anderson

We start fast after with the partners on the floor and everyone else brawling inside. Swann and TJP are left alone in the ring and it’s time to start running the ropes in a hurry. TJP gets sent outside but Deaner is right there to jump Swann from behind. The chinlock goes on but here is TJP to kick Deaner down in the corner. Deaner reverses and hits a running dropkick to drive TJP’s neck into the corner for two. Back up and TJP sends Deaner and Anderson to the floor, only to be sent outside by Swann. That means a huge flip dive from Swann and we take a break.

Back with Swann running into Deaner’s knee to the ribs as Anderson gets back in. Deaner jumps him rather than agreeing to an alliance before Swann is back in. Everyone knocks each other down until TJP kicks Anderson into the corner for the boot wash. The Detonation Kick is blocked but so is the Gun Stun, leaving TJP to hit the Detonation Kick on Anderson. The Mamba Splash misses though and a Deaner DDT gets two on Swann. TJP is sent outside, leaving Anderson to Gun Stun Deaner for the pin at 13:21.

Rating: C+. The match was as energetic as you would have expected, despite one of the Good Brothers winning to make me roll my eyes. I’m not expecting them to get a title shot but there is always that chance. That alone should be a scary thought and I’m not sure what to expect at Slammiversary.

Post match the Good Brothers have their big staredown with Violent By Design, with everyone else getting involved.

Kimber Lee has a backup plan for Susan, revealing James Mitchell (yeah he’s great but HOW MANY TIMES ARE WE GOING TO DO THIS THING), who is going to help things out.

Slammiversary rundown.

Video on Kenny Omega vs. Sami Callihan.

Scott D’Amore is in the ring for the Omega vs. Callihan contract signing. Since there is no Callihan, here are Omega and Don Callis, with the latter bragging about Callihan not being around. D’Amore says they have nine days to get Callihan to sign so Omega signs. The lights go out though and we see footage of Callis being slapped by the fake Callihan and praising him for doing it well.

Cue the real Callihan with the baseball bat to Omega, who is back up nine seconds later for the brawl. Callihan plants him with the package piledriver and then signs the deal. Omega is put through the table to end the show. This was contract signing 101, but if Callihan can’t keep him down for ten seconds with a baseball bat, why bother with the match?

Overall Rating: C-. They did a few things that make me want to see Slammiversary more and that is what matters the most. The wrestling here wasn’t great but it also wasn’t the point of the show. What mattered here was making me want to see the pay per view and job well done enough. The show still isn’t great, but they have found their rhythm and seem to be sticking with it and that’s a good thing.

Results
Jake Something b. Brian Myers – Swinging Black Hole Slam
Deonna Purrazzo b. Lady Frost – Fujiwara armbar
W. Morrissey b. Jason Page/Manny Smith/Deontay Wilder – Triple pin
Rosemary/Havok b. Susan/Kimber Lee – Spear to Susan
Karl Anderson b. Rich Swann, Deaner and TJP – Gun Stun to Deaner

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling – July 1, 2021: Get Thee To A Laddery

Impact Wrestling
Date: July 1, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: D’Lo Brown, Josh Matthews

We are less than three weeks away from Slammiversary and things are starting to pick up. The main event is already set with Sami Callihan vs. Kenny Omega, but there is still time to change things up. That is still a possibility this time around as Callihan faces Moose, with the chance to make the match a triple threat. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Eddie Edwards vs. Satoshi Kojima

They’re cool with each other but Edwards wanted to face Kojima before he went back to Japan. Hold on though as here is W. Morrissey to say that Kojima is alone, just like Edwards was when Morrissey jumped him in the parking lot. Cue Brian Myers with Sam Beale, who Myers refers to as his young boy. Myers says Beale can’t learn anything from Kojima and calls out Jake something, but Kojima doesn’t care for that. The beatdown is on with Something running out for the save. The tag match is on.

Jake Something/Satoshi Kojima vs. Sam Beale/Brian Myers

Jake runs Something over to start and sends him flying off a toss suplex. Myers comes in and gets hit with a jumping knee to the face. A knee puts Something down as well and it’s back to Beale for some driving shoulders in the corner. The chinlock doesn’t last long so Beale hits a short clothesline for two. That means another chinlock for a bit, followed by Myers hitting a suplex for two of his own.

With that out of the way, the chinlock goes on again, setting up some forearms to the face. Something flips out of a belly to back suplex and hits a double clothesline, allowing the hot tag off to Kojima. House is cleaned in a hurry, including the top rope elbow for two on Beale. A DDT connects but Myers breaks up the Koji Cutter. Something takes care of Myers though and the Koji Cutter into the lariat finishes Beale at 9:25.

Rating: D+. The chinlocks didn’t make this better, much like the Kojima/Something pairing feeling like a Battlebowl reject. Beale taking the fall to a legend like Kojima isn’t going to hurt him and Myers has actually done a nice job of establishing himself as a midcard villain. Not a great one mind you, but he’s there.

Scott D’Amore can’t talk about Tommy Dreamer because he has to go answer a phone call. Decay pops in to say they should get a Knockouts Tag Team Title shot. D’Amore is too busy for that right now and says to talk to him normally next time.

Tenille Dashwood vs. Rachael Ellering

Kaleb With A K and Jazz are the seconds. Dashwood jumps her at the bell but gets taken down by a running shoulder. A backsplash gives Ellering two but she has to kick Kaleb With A K off the apron. We take a break and come back with Dashwood choking on the ropes and getting two off a suplex.

A clothesline gets the same and Dashwood is already getting frustrated. Hair pulling around the ropes ensues and a butterfly suplex gives Dashwood two. Ellering comes back with a Sling Blade but a neckbreaker over the ropes cuts her off again. Dashwood goes up for a middle rope sunset flip but Ellering sits down on it for the pin at 10:23.

Rating: C-. Another match that was just kind of there, but neither of these two have had the greatest spark in most of their matches. It was a good example of a match that was just kind of there without really doing anything different. Certainly not awful, but they didn’t do anything that is going to leave much of an, pun intended, impact.

Post match the beatdown is on with Jazz running in for the save. Jordynne Grace makes the real save though and we get a big reunion, as this team has now formed, split and reunited in less than ten weeks.

Chris Bey is sick of hearing about the X-Division war when the villains come in to suggest he join up.

TJP/Fallah Bahh vs. Willie Mack/Rich Swann

A lot of dancing ensues before the match until Swann and TJP start things off. Everything breaks down in a hurry and we get a four way staredown and it’s off to Mack vs. Bahh. The big slugout is on with neither being able to hit their finisher. Swann and TJP come back in with Swann clearing the ring but here is Violent By Design for the double DQ at 1:50.

The big beatdown is on with Violent By Design standing tall.

Fire N Flava want Rosemary and Havok to earn their shot and are off to talk to Scott D’Amore again. D’Amore agrees so they can have a #1 contenders match next week. This isn’t what the champs want.

Tommy Dreamer talks about how he and Raven worked well together despite hating each other. That’s how Team Dreamer will be tonight against the Elite.

Chris Bey vs. Petey Williams

Williams snaps off a headscissors to start and there’s a running dropkick to the back for an early two. Bey gets tied in the Tree of Woe for O Canada but comes back with a kick to the face. A clothesline gives Bey two and it’s off to the Figure Four necklock. Williams is back with a snap German suplex into a running knee to the face. That’s fine with Bey, who grabs a torture rack neckbreaker for two of his own.

The Art of Finesse is countered into the spinning Russian legsweep but it’s too early for the Canadian Destroyer. Williams settles for the Sharpshooter, with Bey making it over to the rope in a hurry. They go to a pinfall reversal sequence with the Canadian Destroyer being countered again. Bey grabs a cutter though and the Art of Finesse is good for the pin at 7:43.

Rating: C+. Williams is fine as a nostalgia act who can still go well enough and he put Bey over rather well here. That’s all a match like this is supposed to do, though it is all going to be thrown out the window for the sake of Ultimate X at Slammiversary. Bey would seem to be the likely winner, but you never can tell with that kind of a match.

Post match here are the X-Division villains and Williams gets beaten down in the corner. Bey walks off but Trey Miguel and Josh Alexander run in for the save. Bey finally comes in to help the good guys clean house.

Deonna Purrazzo beat Kimber Lee on Before The Impact.

Susan is freaking out over Purrazzo beating her and Kimber Lee but Lee has two ideas: the Tag Team Titles and Su Yung.

Jake Something doesn’t like Brian Myers making fun of his name but it’s worse to make fun of him. The challenge is on and the loser admits the winner is a professional.

Steve Maclin vs. Manny Smith

Maclin takes him down with a front facelock, followed by a quick facebuster. Smith gets tied in the Tree of Woe for a running spear. Some right hands in the corner set up some heavy elbows to the chest. The sitout reverse implant DDT finishes Smith at 3:43.

Rating: C-. Total and complete squash here as Maclin continues to look like quite the force. He has a long way to go to get anywhere, but it is nice to have someone getting a chance in a new place after WWE didn’t do anything with him. He’ll need to go somewhere eventually, but it is working well enough for now.

Brian Myers accepts Jake Something’s challenge so Sam Beale can see success up close.

Slammiversary rundown.

Kenny Omega/Good Brothers vs. Chris Sabin/Moose/Sami Callihan

That would be Team Tommy Dreamer, because of course it’s Tommy Dreamer. Don Callis handles Omega’s entrance as he validates his paycheck. Sabin crucifixes Anderson to start and it’s a very early standoff. An annoyed tag brings Moose in but Callihan comes in to scare Omega off as we take a break.

Back with the good guys working on Anderson’s arm but Moose and Sabin stop to jaw at each other again. The distraction lets Anderson send Sabin outside to start the stomping and now Omega is willing to come in and hammer away. It’s already off to Gallows for those weird punches to the ribs in the corner and the triple splash gets two on Sabin. Anderson grabs a chinlock, followed by another from Gallows.

Sabin gets away and rolls over to Moose, who isn’t interested in a tag. Instead it’s off to Callihan to clean house but Anderson punches him low. Sabin tags himself in and avoids some charges in the corner. A Shining Wizard connects with Omega but NOW Moose will tag himself in….and pulls Sabin back in, which counts as another tag. Sabin and Moose brawl on the ramp before Sabin comes in again, earning himself a snapdragon. The Magic Killer finishes Sabin at 15:12.

Rating: C. This was following a formula we’ve seen for years and that is not the best thing. Above all else, the action was just kind of there as we waited around for the ending. I wasn’t wild on what we got here for the most part, though I’m curious about where they go for Slammiversary with these guys. Moose vs. Sabin would seem likely, but I’m sure Tommy Dreamer, who added nothing here, winds up getting a match of some kind.

Overall Rating: C-. The show had its moments but it still wasn’t exactly what I would consider a very good one. Slammiversary is coming up and there are only a handful of matches set. I’m sure you can guess a few more of them, but it would be nice to have some of them actually announced. What we got here was decent, but so much of it still feels like a low level promotion. Even though that is pretty much the case for Impact, it would be nice to find some way around it.

Results
Jake Something/Satoshi Kojima b. Sam Beale/Brian Myers – Lariat to Beale
Rachael Ellering b. Tenille Dashwood – Cradle
TJP/Fallah Bahh vs. Willie Mack/Rich Swann went to a double DQ when Violent By Design interfered
Chris Bey b. Petey Williams – Art of Finesse
Steve Maclin b. Manny Smith – Reverse sitout implant DDT
Kenny Omega/Good Brothers b. Chris Sabin/Moose/Sami Callihan – Magic Killer to Sabin

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – April 15, 2021: When One Side Cares

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 15, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: D’Lo Brown, Matt Striker

We’re almost to Rebellion and the big story out of last week saw Rich Swann get some confidence back when he faced Kenny Omega in a six man tag. This week is going to be about more of the big push towards the show, which should make for an interesting week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Jazz losing a career vs. title match at Hardcore Justice and the six man.

TJP vs. Josh Alexander

Yeah this works. Josh gets taken down to start but TJP can’t break his bridge. TJP grabs a hammerlock on the mat and flips over a few times to crank on the arm so Alexander screams a lot. Back up and Alexander blocks an O’Connor roll but the second gives TJP two. TJP can’t get the Octopus so Alexander plants him with an electric chair drop. As Brown talks about a random kid wearing a One Winged Angel shirt as proof that Kenny Omega is on the American psyche, Alexander hits a knee in the corner and the Gory Special goes on.

With that broken up, the slingshot dropkick misses so Alexander grabs the ankle lock in the ropes. That is countered into a triangle choke on the floor in a pretty awesome sequence. They get back in with TJP hitting a top rope superplex but the Octopus is countered into another ankle lock with TJP bailing over to the rope.

Some boot scrapes in the corner set up a running boot to the face so TJP tries a cross armbreaker. That’s reversed into an ankle lock which is reversed into the cross armbreaker but Alexander is out of that as well. The kneebar sends Alexander back to the rope so TJP goes up for the Mamba Splash, which is again countered into the ankle lock. With that not working either, Alexander grabs Divine Intervention for the pin at 11:52.

Rating: B. These two did their thing just like they did before and it is no surprise that the match wound up working here. The counters into the holds and then those holds being countered as well are amazing to see and that is what they do so well. Throw in Ace Austin on Sunday and they could be in for an instant classic.

Here’s what’s coming during Wrestle Week.

Coming soon: LET’S GET WILDE! Striker: “Tailor made.”

Crazzy Steve vs. Karl Anderson

The rest of Decay and Doc Gallows are here too. Anderson takes him into the corner to start but Steve grabs a backslide, which is enough to send Anderson bailing outside for a breather. We take a break and come back with Anderson slapping on a chinlock. That’s broken up and Steve grabs a rollup out of the corner to set up a low Downward Spiral for two. Steve puts on the Upside Down in the corner but Anderson is right back with the spinebuster for the pin at 7:44.

Rating: C-. Just another match to give the Good Brothers some more momentum on their way to the title match, but what helps here is they are beating someone other than the champs. Granted that might be because the champs aren’t here, but I’ll take what I can get to get away from that tired trope. Not much to the match, though that wasn’t the point here.

Ace Austin and Madman Fulton come in to Swinger’s Palace. Austin hits on Alisha Edwards when TJP and Josh Alexander come in to talk about the odds. Cue Petey Williams for a Scott Steiner math promo. The women are stunned and Petey leaves without saying that the whole thing spells disaster. Swinger thinks he’s going to be the Million Dollar Swing Man.

Here are Eddie Edwards and Willie Mack for a chat. Eddie knows that they can’t win every match and they lost to Violent By Design at Hardcore Justice. For now though, they don’t like Violent By Design attacking Tommy Dreamer before their match. Violent By Design is messing with family and you don’t do that. Cue Violent By Design, with Eric Young talking about how proud he is of what he did. Young brags about doing everything he promises but Eddie says bring it. The fight is teased so here are James Storm and Chris Sabin run in for the save. Storm makes the challenge for an eight man tag at Rebellion (dance metaphors included).

Deonna Purrazzo asks Susan if she is ok but they run into Scott D’Amore, who warns them to stay away from Jazz’s retirement ceremony.

Tenille Dashwood has her own talk show with It’s All About Me. Her guest is interviewer Gia Miller, who points out that this is the same set from Locker Room Talk. Gia gets to ask her questions, who asks about the lack of a Knockouts Title reign. Dashwood brags about her success in everything else and now it is time to do the same in wrestling. After some confusion over who is actually the host of this show, Dashwood wraps it up and Miller is rather confused.

Here is Jazz with Jordynne Grace for her official retirement. Jazz talks about how she came back here in the hope of one more title run but it just didn’t happen. She and Grace worked together but couldn’t quite win the Knockouts Tag Team Titles. They rode hard though….and here is Fire N Flava to interrupt. Tasha Steelz says it is about time for Jazz to retire since she can’t win anything. Grace says they talk too much and issues the challenge. Since Jazz hasn’t officially retired yet (the semantics are strong with this one), let’s go.

Jazz/Jordynne Grace vs. Fire N Flava

Non-title (I think?) and all four are in street clothes. It’s a brawl to start with Grace hitting some running knees to Steelz in the corner. Jazz comes in to drop Hogan with a right hand. A sitout powerslam finishes Hogan at 1:22. So yeah the champs just lost clean in less than a minute and a half for a story that can’t go anywhere because Jazz is retiring. It’s kind of a nice moment but that might be a bit much.

Post match, Jazz retires and thanks the fans. The locker room comes out to slap the ring.

Post break, Scott D’Amore makes Fire N Flava vs. Grace/Jazz for the titles at Rebellion. Fire n Flava is annoyed (as they should be) but Jazz comes in to say she is a woman of her word. She won’t be in the match, but Grace can go for the titles. Jazz just happens to have a woman in mind for her. That’s quite the relief.

Brian Myers vs. ???

Matt Cardona gets to pick Myers’ opponent and it’s…..Jake Something. Jake starts fast by sending him hard into the corner as Striker tries to explain Myers vs. Cardona with some annoying analogy about a pool. Myers gets in a shot but gets knocked to the floor to start the chase. Back in and the Roster Cut finishes Jake at 2:22.

Now Myers gets to pick Cardona’s opponent.

Sami Callihan vs. Matt Cardona

Sami jumps him from behind before the bell and we take a break before the match. Cardona knocks him down for an early two as commentary talks about Kenny Omega vs. Rich Swann. They fight outside with Cardona sending him into the barricade before heading outside. A running charge misses though and Cardona crashes over the top in a heap.

Callihan follows him out for a t-bone suplex and we take another rather fast break. Back again with Sami hitting a hard clothesline for a near fall. Cardona manages Radio Silence for the same but a second attempt is blocked. The Cactus Special is countered but Callihan grabs a suplex for two more. Callihan is frustrated so it’s a thumb in the eye and the package piledriver for the pin at 12:44.

Rating: C. This got some time and they were both working to make this a better match than I was expecting. Losing to a former World Champion isn’t going to hurt Cardona that much, especially with a cheating finish. Not too bad here, with Sami knowing how to do a brawl like this and Cardona being more than good enough to hang with him

Post match Callihan says it is time for some more important things. He calls out Trey Miguel, who comes to the ring but isn’t happy with Callihan validating his passion. Miguel talks about coming out here last week because he had to deal with XXXL. Callihan doesn’t buy it and says they should join forces so he can mentor Miguel to the next level. That’s a no, so Callihan calls him out for a lack of gratitude.

Callihan reveals that he attacked Tommy Dreamer at Hardcore Justice so Miguel could get the shot, meaning the brawl is on…with Miguel being dropped off a clothesline. Miguel tries to get up but gets chaired right back down. A suplex through the open chair and Callihan leaves, though he is pleased with Miguel trying to get up. Just let them team together already so we can complete this story, which has been done to death, already.

FinJuice is ready to come back to Rebellion and beat the Good Brothers. Fascinating indeed.

Here’s what’s coming Wrestle Week, next week and at Rebellion.

It’s time for a press conference for Kenny Omega vs. Rich Swann. Omega isn’t here yet so we’ll question Swann instead. He is ready to face more adversity because he has done it his whole life and will do it again. Mike Johnson of Pro Wrestling Insider brings up Bruno Sammartino vs. Lou Thesz in a title vs. title match never happening and asks if the champ will wrestle on both shows. Tony Khan says of course Omega will and he expects Swann to do the same. Scott D’Amore says it can happen and both bosses guarantee a winner.

Cue Omega and Don Callis, complete with entrance music. Callis is asked when he is going to stop playing both sides, which he says is enough already. He takes over the podium and introduces Omega, who wears a suit better than I would have expected. Omega talks about how he is used to standing at a podium like this but Swann has never been here.

Omega was put on this planet to make a difference while Swann is here because he likes wrestling. Swann is just a means to an end because this match opened the Forbidden Door. Now Swann is taking part in history and Omega offers a handshake. Instead he slaps Swann in the face, triggering the brawl to end the show. This was a good effort on treating the match like a big deal, but the result about as much of a foregone conclusion as you can get. It’s also at least talking about the match and that’s more than AEW has done.

Overall Rating: C. This show went by fast and that’s a good thing as they had a lot to cover. Rebellion is in about a week and a half and the card is coming together. Swann vs. Omega does feel big, but AEW not caring and the result being almost a lock is a lot for them to overcome. The rest of the show was the usual mixed bag, though the opener was very good.

Results

Josh Alexander b. TJP – Divine Intervention

Karl Anderson b. Crazzy Steve – Spinebuster

Jazz/Jordynne Grace b. Fire N Flava – Sitout powerslam to Hogan

Brian Myers b. Jake Something – Roster Cut

Sami Callihan b. Matt Cardona – Package piledriver

 

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Impact Wrestling Hardcore Justice 2021: Call It A Wrestlemania Surprise

Hardcore Justice 2021
Date: April 10, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: D’Lo Brown, Matt Striker

It’s the Impact Wrestling Wrestlemania weekend offering with the hardcore themed show, as operated by Tommy Dreamer. Now for once this actually makes sense, though somehow Dreamer is likely to be main eventing the show as well. The card looks decent and has been built up on Impact as of late, so it feels like an actually pay per view. Let’s get to it.

The opening video features Eric Young talking about how he has a sickness and violence is the only cure. Tommy Dreamer has that same sickness and tonight, Young is willing to provide the cure for him.

Ace Austin/Madman Fulton vs. TJP/Fallah Bahh vs. Josh Alexander/Petey Williams

Austin, TJP and Alexander are feuding over the X-Division Title and got to pick their own partners. Alexander gets run over by the huge Bahh to start, including getting knocked to the floor. Back in and Bahh strikes away but Alexander takes him down by the leg. Williams comes in but gets knocked into the corner by TJP. A drop toehold lets Williams hit a dropkick to the back, only to get pulled into TJP’s Octopus variation. It’s off to Austin, who is taken down for a nasty arm crank from TJP.

Bahh comes back in and gets caught in the corner for some shoulders from Fulton. Some double teaming sets up a running crossbody to Bahh’s kneeling back for two but Bahh backdrops his way to freedom. Williams tags himself in to take over on Austin and it’s back to Alexander for a quick German suplex. A blind tag brings Fulton back in to side slam Alexander for two and a big boot lets Austin come back in.

Austin’s spinning legdrop gets two but Alexander pops back up with a powerslam. Austin kicks him into the corner for the hot tag to TJP and the pace picks up. There’s a tornado DDT to Austin and everything breaks down. Bahh crossbodies Fulton down and the Mamba Splash hits Austin but Alexander tags himself in to steal the near fall. Williams Sharpshooters Austin and Alexander ankle locks Fulton but TJP grabs a choke on Williams at the same time.

Bahh breaks the whole thing up and it’s Fulton having to save Austin from the Canadian Destroyer. Everything breaks down again and Fulton cleans house with everyone going down. TJP knocks Alexander into the corner for a facewash and the Canadian Destroyer hits TJP. Williams stomps on Bahh’s ankle and Alexander ankle locks him for the tap at 13:41.

Rating: B-. This was exactly what it should have been with a hot opener featuring some talented people. The Canadian Destroyer may have become one of the biggest jokes in wrestling but there is still a little something special about Williams using it. This was all about the main trio though and they could tear the house down at Rebellion. Good stuff here and they’re off to a solid start.

Here’s what’s coming today.

Hernandez vs. Shera

This is a chairs match dubbed Chairly Legal. Dang it why do I have to love puns? The exchange of shoulders goes to Shera and he hammers away in the corner. Hernandez gets in a shot of his own though and the first chair shot goes over Shera’s back. Some chairs are set up at ringside but Hernandez spends too much time on the building, allowing Shera to chair him down. Back in and Hernandez gets in a chair shot of his own and wedges some chairs in the corner.

Shera goes face first into a chair in the middle of the ring for two and the big ax handles keep him down. A quick spinebuster gives Shera two and they head outside with Hernandez taking over again. Some chairs are thrown in and Shera manages to superplex him onto the pile for two. Hernandez is right back up with chair shots of his own but here is Rohit Raju to blast Hernandez with a chair. A confused Shera gets the pin at 9:01.

Rating: C. Another not too bad match here with Shera getting a lot better, mainly due to not having everything focused on some stupid dance. The chairs were the focal point here and they didn’t go outside of that, which made enough sense for a one off match like this. Hernandez is fine in this role and that is all he needs to be. Not a great match but it fit in well on a show like this one.

We go to Swinger’s Palace where Chris Sabin and James Storm aren’t happy with being told to take the night off. XXXL comes in and can’t get a seat so a match is set up for…well actually one isn’t because XXXL gets to sit down. Matt Cardona comes in to ask what the deal is around here. He says Swinger has been in wrestling for 150 years so here is Dreamer to it’s MATCH TIME. This isn’t Wrestle House….but Dreamer is in charge so we’re having Cardona vs. Swinger in a Crate American Bash.

Doc Gallows vs. Black Taurus

Karl Anderson and Crazzy Steve are here too. Taurus hammers away to start but misses a crossbody, allowing Gallows to hit a clothesline to take over. Gallows knocks him down again and hammers away, including an uppercut to cut off a comeback attempt. A suplex sets up a chinlock for a bit before a trip to the floor.

Taurus is sent over the barricade and we head back inside for another chinlock. With that broken up, Gallows hits a bit boot but Taurus fights up with a shot to the ace. A top rope clothesline sets up a 619 into a missile dropkick for two on Gallows. Anderson offers a distraction though and it’s a superkick into a chokebomb to finish Taurus at 9:01.

Rating: D+. This was mostly a squash until Taurus had a nice comeback. I like Taurus a good bit but there is no way he should be beating Gallows here. That being said, there is only so much that can be done when Gallows isn’t exactly giving him much throughout the match. The Brothers are not exactly my favorite people in Impact and this didn’t do much to change that idea.

Violent By Design is ready to cure Tommy Dreamer and company.

Matt Cardona vs. Johnny Swinger

Crate American Bash, meaning there is a crate at every corner with something inside to use. Swinger, with the Swingerellas, gets rolled up to start and lies about the tights being pulled. Back up and Swinger hits a strut but needs to hide in the ropes, allowing Cardona to do his own strut, which will always work. Some forearms to the back set up a Paul Orndorff elbow on Cardona and it’s time to grab the first crate. Inside….is a framed photo of Scott Hall, which is a call back to the WCW version of this match because reasons.

Swinger knocks him off the apron and into the barricade for a breather. Back in and Swinger goes for the second crate but Cardona takes him down with a jawbreaker. Swinger pulls him off the ropes though and opens the second crate to find…a rat trap. Ok that was funny. Cardona gets his knees up in the corner and adds the middle rope dropkick.

Back up and a collision gives us another double knockdown but Cardona is up first. The third crate has….something Cardona likes but he doesn’t pull it out. Swinger gets the other crate and finds some brass knuckles for a big smile. That’s about it for the smiling though as he charges into Radio Silence for the pin at 7:53.

Rating: C-. Total comedy match here and there is nothing wrong with that. Swinger is someone who has gone from a complete groan to one of the more entertaining things about Impact Wrestling, which has been a great surprise. I’m guessing the third crate has some kind of toy or action figure inside, which would be appropriate for the match, though it does make me wonder why Dreamer had these things sitting around. Anyway, this was fine.

Cardona takes the third crate with him.

Flashback Moment of the Week: Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu at Hardcore Justice 2010. You need this on a taped pay per view? This eats up nearly ten minutes.

XXXL is having trouble keeping up with James Storm and Chris Sabin’s drinking.

Here is Sami Callihan to say he tries to help people, including Trey Miguel. It worked last week and under his mentoring, Miguel could reach the next level. Passion is about taking what you want and since Sami wants to be on Hardcore Justice, he is going to be on Hardcore Justice. The open challenge is on.

Sami Callihan vs. Sam Beale

Beale is Miguel’s student and Sami runs him over to start. Sami offers him a free shot and then knocks Beale down again. Beale’s face is rubbed into the mat and Sami bites him a bit before taking it outside. Some right hands have little effect on Sami, who snaps off a t-bone suplex to drop Beale again. Back in and Beale rolls him up for two so Sami nails a hard clothesline. The package piledriver finishes Beale at 4:05.

Rating: D+. This was a storyline advancement rather than a match and while I’m not a fan of the angle, it’s not like they spent a lot of time on it. Sami messing with Trey is either going to result in a big match at Rebellion or them being the Tag Team Champions. Neither is overly appealing but PLEASE DON’T MAKE THEM A REGULAR TEAM! Just let them fight and be done with it already.

We recap Brian Myers damaging Matt Cardona’s eye Jake Something’s eye. Therefore, it’s a hardcore blindfold match.

Brian Myers vs. Jake Something

Striker: “Look up the last time someone named Jake was in a blindfold match.” Good grief. They’re both blindfolded and there are weapons at ringside. Myers gets knocked outside early on and finds a trashcan lid to take Something down. In a smart move, Myers grabs him by the wrist and then finds another weapon to hit him in the head. They head back inside with Myers dropping him again and covering, albeit with Jake on his stomach.

Back up and Jake manages a sitout powerbomb, followed by some Scott Hall style shoulders while holding Myers’ wrist. Myers manages to find the referee and send him into Jake. The knockdown allows Myers to pull up the mask and hit a low superkick, which draws out Cardona with the third crate. Cardona slaps the mat for a distraction and slides Jake the crate. A shot to the head knocks Myers out and opens the crate, revealing a bunch of action figures. Jake hits a Boss Man Slam for the pin at 5:14.

Rating: D+. Another match that wasn’t supposed to be anything more than a fun idea that advanced a bigger story. In that regard it worked out well and it isn’t like this is going to be anything more than that. Cardona vs. Myers is slowly growing on me and as long as it doesn’t get treated as anything overly serious, it should work out well. Now give Jake a new last name and everything gets better.

Tommy Dreamer and his team (Rich Swann/Willie Mack/Eddie Edwards) are ready for Violent By Design.

Rosemary vs. Alisha vs. Havok vs. Jordynne Grace vs. Susan vs. Tenille Dashwood

Weapons match and the winner gets a Knockouts Title shot at Rebellion. Actually hold on as Su Yung comes out to attack Susan and we have a replacement. Yung is too much for Dashwood, who runs off rather than deal with her. Grace hammers on Alisha in the corner while Rosemary and Havok knock Young outside. That team lasts all of three seconds before they knock each other to the floor. Dashwood grabs Grace’s leg so the chase is on, meaning Kaleb With A K almost hits Dashwood with a frying pan by mistake.

It’s time for the staple gun and Kaleb With A K takes the shot to save Dashwood. That leaves Havok to legdrop Alisha for two with Grace making the save. The big staredown goes to Grace, who cuts off Alisha’s try with a trashcan. Grace plants Alisha for two with Yung making the save this time as you can see Susan being taken to the back (only took the referees the better part of ten minutes to help her). Yung beats on Grace until Havok comes in with a noose to take her down. Rosemary gets the Upside Down on Grace and it’s time for little red bag of thumbtacks.

Alisha hits something like a reverse DDT to drive Rosemary into them before whipping out a kendo stick (which is dubbed Kendra). Yung gives Alisha the Mandible Claw to cut that off and drag her away, which can’t end well. Havok and Grace slug it out with Havok knocking her down (allowing Striker to get in the always wrong “they’re all the same height on the mat”) and going up. Cue Nevaeh to throw powder in Havok’s eyes though and Kaleb With A K adds a superkick. Grace is back up with a Vader Bomb to Havok but Dashwood comes in and steals the pin at 9:43.

Rating: C-. This started to drag a bit in the middle but Dashwood winning actually surprised me. It is nice to see her FINALLY moving up as she has every tool imaginable but for some reason nothing has clicked yet. The weapons were a pretty minor part here but hopefully this leads to Yung returning full time. Susan isn’t working so give us what works better for a change. Not much of a match, but the right person won.

XXXL is very drunk but still want their match. James Storm says it’s time…..to play beer pong apparently. Chris Sabin throws the ball at the cup and knocks it off the table, so Larry D. offers to show him how it’s done. This misses completely, with Swinger dubbing him Knuckleball Schwartz. Storm throws a ball at Larry and the fight is on with Storm and Sabin standing tall, allowing Storm to drop a ball in the cup for the win. Swinger panics because he forgot to pay for his insurance.

Deonna Purrazzo talks about how important Jazz is but her time has passed. Tonight Purrazzo will prove that and it is title vs. career.

Knockouts Title: Deonna Purrazzo vs. Jazz

Jazz is challenging with her career on the line. An early spinwheel kick gives Jazz two and she starts in on the arm. That’s fine with Purrazzo, who catches her with an arm snap across the top rope. The armbar is on but Jazz gets in an elbow to the face, only to get pulled into a Downward Spiral for two. Purrazzo stays on the arm and ties Jazz’s limbs around the bottom rope for a change of pace. Some kicks put Jazz on the floor so she has to pull herself back in, allowing Purrazzo to stomp away some more.

They head outside with Purrazzo hammering away until Jazz runs her over. It’s time to throw in some weapons and they head inside again, with Jazz nailing the snap jabs. An X Factor gets two but Purrazzo goes after the arm again to take over. The title is brought in but Purrazzo pulls it away and chairs her down. A DDT onto the chair gives Jazz two and frustration is setting in. Jazz can’t get a double chickenwing so Purrazzo snaps off an exploder suplex. The Queen’s Gambit retains the title at 13:08.

Rating: C+. They were going for the big, emotional moment here and came pretty close to nailing it. Jazz might not be the biggest legend of all time but she has wrestled everywhere and done pretty well for a long time, so it is more than ok to give her something like this. Solid enough match too, making this feel like a good co-main event.

Post match Purrazzo leaves and Jazz gets the big sendoff, with Jordynne Grace coming in to thank her. This would be a lot better if Striker would shut up about Mama calling on the Louisiana wind and her children always waiting. Just….stop talking sometimes man.

Tommy Dreamer has been attacked so the main event will be 4-3.

Eddie Edwards/Willie Mack/Rich Swann vs. Violent By Design

This a Hardcore War, meaning WarGames (minus the cage) with two men starting for three minutes and the team who won a coin toss (Violent By Design) sending in another man after two minutes. Two minutes later, the other team evens things up. Once all eight are in, it is the first fall to win with No DQ of course. Eddie Edwards and Deaner start things off on the floor as Striker wants Dreamer to come out in the Willis Reed or Kirk Gibson moment.

They knock each other around on the floor before heading inside, where Eddie hits a belly to belly suplex. That sends them back outside…and then get back in, with Eddie hammering away to take over. The Backpack Stunner connects as time expires, with Striker, who read the rules earlier, not being sure who has the advantage. Rhino is in to make it 2-1 and the slow beating is on. Brown talks about how Rhino has changed, to the point where Rhino won’t even speak to him.

As I try to imagine Brown and Rhino as a team with Rhino doing the head shake, Willie Mack, with Kenny and a chain (which Striker thinks sounds like a country song) comes in to even things up. The good guys take over with various weapons shots, including a toaster (Brown: “I love French toast.”) until Joe Doering comes in to make it 3-2.

Edwards and Mack jump the monster but he knocks both of them down at once without much trouble. Deaner puts Mack’s hand in the toaster and bends it back until Rich Swann is in to even it up. Swann cleans house, including kicking Doering low, with a handicap parking sign. With Violent By Design down, Swann and Edwards set up a table at ringside as Eric Young comes in to complete the villains.

Young brings in a hockey stick to beat on people in various painful ways until the countdown is on and…..Trey Miguel evens things up with a golf club. Miguel gets in Doering’s face and gets crushed with a crossbody, which has Striker loudly thanking God for Doering. Deaner beats on Mack but gets caught with Swann’s handspring cutter. Rhino Gores Swann through a table in the corner for two, meaning it’s time to go to the corner.

The Tower of Doom plants everyone but Doering, who puts Eddie on a table outside. Miguel gets up with a top rope Meteora to drive Doering through Eddie through the table though, leaving Mack 3-1 inside. Rhino is sent outside and a pop up Downward Spiral gets two on Doering with Young making the save. Young is back up with the piledriver to finish Mack at 20:25.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good but felt a bit like the hold house show versions of WarGames in the NWA days. Yeah it’s a big, violent match but don’t expect anything taken to the next level. Miguel coming in to replace Dreamer was a surprise and Dreamer not getting the spotlight was nice. They did well enough for a main event here, but it’s no classic, at least partially due to Striker’s odd obsession with Doering.

Overall Rating: C. I’m not sure how much more you were expecting from a hardcore themed show over Wrestlemania weekend. It advanced some stories and gave us a few good moments with some talented wrestlers. For $10, that’s about all you can ask for and it worked out as well as could be expected. Nothing worth seeing on here, but if you throw it on, you won’t have the worst time.

 

 

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Impact Wrestling – April 8, 2021: New Night With A Purpose

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 8, 2021
Location: Skyway Studios, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Matt Striker, D’Lo Brown

It’s the first show on a new night as Impact is back on Thursdays. As a result it is time for a stacked card, including the first ever Kenny Omega match around here. Throw in the fact that we are less than three weeks away from Rebellion and it is time to start setting up the card. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening recap.

Opening sequence.

Jordynne Grace/Havok/Rosemary vs. Tenille Dashwood/Nevaeh/Alisha Edwards

There are all kinds of people at ringside. Grace drives Alisha into the corner to start but she is right back with a quick Downward Spiral for two. A Jackhammer gets two on Alisha and it’s off to Rosemary to scary Dashwood out to the floor. The chase lets Havok knock Dashwood down but Kaleb With A K gets her off the table. Grace hits a big dive onto Kaleb but gets taken into the corner for some rapid fire stomping.

Dashwood charges into some boots though and Grace rolls over for the tag off to Rosemary. House is cleaned in a hurry and Rosemary catches Alisha in the Upside Down. Alisha is back up as everything breaks down again. Nevaeh Russian legsweeps Havok off the apron and through the table at ringside, leaving Rosemary to hit the Red Wedding to finish Alisha at 7:49.

Rating: C-. As usual, there is only so much you can do when you have this many people involved in a match, especially including everyone on the floor. The match wasn’t bad by any means, but it is just a preview of the Hardcore Justice match. Thankfully they didn’t stay out there too long, as I’ve rarely gotten the idea behind seeing people wrestle on one show to get to see them wrestle on another show later in the week.

Here’s what’s coming tonight.

Matt Cardona wants Brian Myers but tonight he’ll settle for Jake Something.

Coming soon: Let’s Get WILDE.

Susan seems to have some Su Yung flashbacks.

Matt Cardona vs. Jake Something

Cardona’s headlock doesn’t last long so Jake powers him out to the floor for a running shoulder. A basement dropkick puts Jake outside again but he’s right back in to run through Cardona without much trouble. Cardona flips out of a suplex and grabs a neckbreaker for a breather and hits a quick faceplant to rock him again. Radio Silence is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two and they crash out to the floor over the top. Cue Brian Myers to jump both of them at the same time for the DQ at 4:59.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to get very far but it was nice to see Cardona being treated as someone who is just being himself instead of some former WWE star. He is starting to fit in around here and that is a great thing for a change. Hopefully we are getting something better with the Myers feud though, because it isn’t exactly thrilling stuff so far. Jake continues to just be there, probably because his last name is Something.

Post match Myers hits Cardona in the face with the steps, possibly taking out Cardona’s eye. Sure he’ll fight Cardona at Hardcore Justice.

XXXL laughs at Trey Miguel but he isn’t teaming with Sami Callihan. More insulting seems to make Miguel think about it though.

Eric Young blames Deaner for last week’s loss but worry not, because Deaner can make up for it tonight.

XXXL vs. Sami Callihan/Trey Miguel

Well in theory at least because there is no Miguel. Actually scratch that as yes there is, and he charges into the ring to go after both monsters on his own. Trey sends them to the floor and loads up a dive but Sami tags himself in and we take a break. Back with Acey planting Trey with a side slam. XXXL picks Trey up and drops him down for a crash but Sami comes in for the save. Trey tags himself back in and they glare at each other, setting up the stereo dives. Back in and Trey grabs the Hourglass to make Larry tap at 7:47.

Rating: D+. Yeah we’re going with this story again because it is something that just cannot go away forever. I’m not sure why people find this interesting, but for some reason the tag partners who hate each other keeps coming up over and over. Now it’s Sami and Trey, because there was nothing else that could be done with them and this is as good as we can get because reasons. Nothing match of course, because this is all about the tired idea that we’ve forever, because of course it is.

Chris Harris and James Storm have a good time at Swinger’s Palace.

Chris Sabin vs. Deaner

Sabin starts fast with some rollups for two each before working on the arm. Deaner gets more serious by choking away in the corner but Sabin is back with a dragon screw legwhip. A running boot in the corner sets up a fisherman’s driver for two. Deaner’s rollup gets two as Sabin’s foot is underneath the rope so he sends Sabin into the corner instead. A pull out into a sitout powerbomb gets two but Deaner’s rollup with feet on the ropes only gets two. Sabin is right back with the Cradle Shock for the pin at 5:35.

Rating: C-. Another match which was designed to continue the story of one of the weaker stables going on at the moment. I’m still not getting into Violent By Design and Young’s brainwashing of a guy who was a redneck pest about three months ago. Sabin is still good for almost anything though and it is nice to see him back in the ring on his own for a change.

Post match Eric Young pops up on screen and Chris Harris has been attacked. Rhino comes in and Gores Sabin as Young shouts again like he does every single week.

Josh Alexander tells Ace Austin about a triple threat match for the X-Division Title. TJP comes in and is rather happy about it as well but here’s Tommy Dreamer to make a hardcore triple threat tag match for Hardcore Justice with TJP, Austin and Alexander getting to pick a partner.

Post break, Eric Young comes up to Tommy Dreamer and doesn’t like him being in charge at Hardcore Justice. Dreamer says he’ll get some friends and fight Violent By Design at Hardcore Justice too.

Video on Jazz’s career and how she went everywhere in the industry.

Deonna Purrazzo is ready for Jazz, because she is ready to take over the foundation that Jazz has built. She is even willing to face Jazz on her own.

Tommy Dreamer catches up with Brian Myers and makes it Myers vs. Cardona a hardcore blindfold match.

Here’s what’s coming at Hardcore Justice.

Willie Mack/Rich Swann/Eddie Edwards vs. Kenny Omega/Good Brothers

Don Callis handles Omega’s entrance. It’s a brawl to start with Swann and Omega being left alone. Omega tries a dive to the floor but takes out the Good Brothers by mistake. Swann and company hit their own dives and we take a break. Back with Anderson getting triple teamed, including a flipping legdrop to the back of the neck getting two. Gallows comes in to drive Edwards into the corner as Striker thinks the Good Brothers are bad role models.

Omega drives Edwards’ face into the mat and it’s back to Gallows for a chinlock. This lets Striker talk about how great Omega is and saying if you don’t like him, there is more than enough wrestling around. So yeah, if you don’t like what you’re seeing here, change the channel. Edwards gets up and brings in Mack to clean house The standing moonsault hits Anderson and Omega at the same time but Gallows takes him down and hammers away.

We take another break and come back again with Omega dropping an elbow on Mack before handing it off to Anderson, who misses a charge. Striker talks about how obnoxious it gets to have Omega and the Brothers praising Japan all the time. Yeah imagine a wrestler trying to sound smarter and cooler than everyone else. And imagine them getting to do commentary for two hours a week.

A chinlock keeps Mack in trouble but Omega falls down on a slam attempt. Mack hits a double clothesline to Anderson and Omega, allowing the hot tag to Swann. A double bulldog gets two on Omega and everything breaks down. Omega drops Edwards and it’s time for the parade of people hitting each other in the face. The V Trigger drops Mack and a triple splash (with Striker pointing out that they did it in Japan) gets two on Edwards with Swann making the save.

The tag brings in Swann and for the slugout with Omega, who tries the quick One Winged Angel. Swann escapes, with Striker saying that means Swann can escape the One Winged Angel. Swann’s 450 gets two and Callis has to break up the pin. No matter as the Boston Knee Party to Anderson sets up the Phoenix splash for the pin at 22:26.

Rating: B-. It was an entertaining enough match and they did a nice job of making Swann seem like a bit more of a threat to Omega. Now granted this might have raised his chances of winning from zero percent up to about a third of a single percent because Omega is absolutely walking out with another title, but at least they tried. The other people were just kind of there, but Edwards vs. Omega could be interesting.

Overall Rating: C. This is one of the better Impacts in a bit, mainly because they were doing a rapid fire build towards Hardcore Justice and couldn’t waste a bunch of time. I’m still not wild on a lot of the things that they are doing at the moment, but at least they have something to do and that is more than you can say about them for the last few….well months probably.

Results

Rosemary/Jordynne Grace/Havok b. Tenille Dashwood/Nevaeh/Alisha Edwards – Red Wedding to Edwards

Matt Cardona vs. Jake Something went to a double DQ when Brian Myers interfered

Trey Miguel/Sami Callihan b. XXXL – Hourglass to Larry D.

Chris Sabin b. Deaner – Cradle Shock

Rich Swann/Willie Mack/Eddie Edwards b. Kenny Omega/Good Brothers – Phoenix splash to Anderson

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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