Survivor Series Count-Up – 2004 (2019 Redo): The Consolation Prize

Survivor Series 2004
Date: November 14, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is an interesting show as the two big matches are a match where the impact comes over the next four weeks and another where there is little more than bragging rights on the line. The build for this show hasn’t been the strongest, though a lot of that is due to the changes taking place in the company. There are some fresh talents coming in and they’re still finding their footing, so it should be interesting to see where this show takes us. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at the show’s history, which means about five of the seventeen shows get a look. The video talks about trust and how only the strong will survive. Fair enough, though I’d have rather had more of the historical stuff.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Spike Dudley

Spike is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. It’s a brawl to start with Rey taking a shot to the ribs and Chavo getting double teamed in the corner. Kidman doesn’t waste time in dropkicking Spike to the floor and here’s Spike to clothesline Kidman to the other side of the floor. That leave Rey to sunset flip Chavo for two and armdrag him outside. Spike replaces Chavo and stomps Rey down in the corner as Chavo comes back in.

A double clothesline puts Spike and Chavo down at the same time, leaving Rey to hurricanrana Kidman off the apron. Chavo picks Rey up and throws him into a seated senton Kidman, setting up a dive onto both of them. Spike’s dive just hits floor in a nasty crash but he’s fine enough to run back in and break up Chavo’s belly to back on Kidman. Rey gets whipped hard into the corner, leaving the other three to set up a Tower of Doom with Spike getting the worst.

Kidman was just the electric chair so he BK Bombs Rey but gets posted by Chavo. Spike’s running headbutt to the ribs puts Chavo down, only to have Rey come back with a 619 to the champ. Kidman breaks up the West Coast Pop and drops a slingshot legdrop on Chavo. Rey takes Kidman to the floor though, allowing Spike to pin Chavo to retain.

Rating: C+. Pretty good choice for an opener here with Rey and Chavo handling the dives and a Tower of Doom before it was a cliché. Spike retaining the title isn’t the most thrilling thing in the world but I think I could go for that over another Rey or Chavo reign. Kidman has already fallen off a lot and at the moment there isn’t another better option.

Gene Snitsky comes up to Heidenreich to compliment his poetry. Heidenreich likes what Snitsky does to babies. An uncomfortable amount of grunting ensues.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin

Christian, now with Just Close Your Eyes for theme music and with Tyson Tomko in his corner, is challenging. Shelton goes with a hammerlock to start and Christian bails to the ropes to avoid the wrestling on the mat. Back up and Shelton blasts him with a shoulder to show off some power for a change. Christian is already frustrated and slaps the champ in the face before sending him over the ropes.

The cat is skinned and Shelton hits a springboard Blockbuster (looked like it was supposed to be a clothesline but he rotated too far) for two. For some reason that wakes Christian up even more and he hammers away in the corner. Shelton sticks the landing on a monkey flip and threatens Christian to the floor with a superkick, leaving the announcers to discuss the origins of the Oklahoma roll. A Tomko distraction lets Christian kick him into the barricade and the angry Christian pounds away.

The neckbreaker gets two and we hit the chinlock to stay on Shelton’s neck. Shelton gets thrown outside with someone’s elbow pad flying onto the announcers’ table in the process. Back in and Christian’s reverse tornado DDT gets two but Shelton reverses a whip to send Christian chest first into the buckle. A Jackknife rollup gets two and a reverse slingshot suplex (not quite a fisherman’s JR) is good for the same on Christian.

Shelton misses the Stinger Splash though and it’s an inverted DDT to give Christian two of his own. With nothing else working, Tomko slides the title in and even though it hits the referee in the foot, he doesn’t actually notice. It doesn’t work for Christian, who gets the title tossed, only to have Tomko kick Shelton in the face for two. Back up and Christian tries the Unprettier, which is countered into a quick exploder to retain the title.

Rating: B. This is a good example of a difficulty of five but an execution of ten. They went with a simple story but did it so well that it was easy to get behind as you wanted to see the more athletic champion overcome the cheating and retain. It’s a story that you can get into in a single viewing and Shelton played his role very well. Good match and I could go for another one.

Kurt Angle doesn’t like how Edge portrayed him in his book. He did like the chapter on Edge winning the World Title….or at least he would have if there had been one. Edge laughs it off because his team will win tonight and he’ll get a title shot. Angle goes off for his match but Eugene comes in to list off Angle’s resume and sing YOU SUCK.

Wrestlemania Recall: STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!

Team Angle vs. Team Guerrero

Kurt Angle, Carlito, Mark Jindrak, Luther Reigns

Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, Big Show, Rob Van Dam

Cena charges to the ring to chase Carlito off and beats Jesus up the aisle. Carlito keeps running and Cena shouts about Carlito sending his guys to stab him. With Jesus getting in a cheap shot, Carlito and Jesus jump into a car and run away. Everyone else gets in a fight on the floor and we get the opening bell, meaning Carlito is eliminated due to running away (in other words, he was injured).

We officially start with Show chopping Jindrak in the corner and handing it off to Van Dam for a spinning kick to the face. Rolling Thunder gives Eddie two and the headscissors/armdrag combination puts Jindrak and Reigns down. Angle comes in and punches Guerrero down before handing it back to Reigns for a backbreaker into a side slam. Jindrak’s full nelson is countered with a trip into the buckle but Kurt dives over to break up the hot tag attempt.

The chinlock goes on and switches into a front facelock before it’s back to Jindrak for more entry level offense. Actually hang on as he throws in a hip swivel in between the elbows. Eddie finally gets up and brings Rob in to punch Angle. Jindrak tries to save Angle from the Five Star but takes it instead, allowing Kurt to roll Rob up with the ropes for the elimination. Eddie is right back with a rollup in the ropes to get rid of Jindrak (with a fast count) to make it 3-2.

Big Show comes in to face Angle, who bails out so Reigns can do it instead. Reigns finally goes after the big bandage on the ankle, meaning it’s all of five extra seconds before the chokeslam can get rid of him. That leaves Angle by himself so he grabs the ankle lock, which is countered to send him into the aisle. Angle tries to leave but runs into Rob, who sends him backing up the aisle….and right into Show, with Angle reaching up and finding the very tall head to realize how much trouble he’s in. Back in and the FU into the frog splash is enough for the pin.

Rating: D. I was having flashbacks to the Hulkamaniacs vs. the Million Dollar Team from 1989 as the faces were never in serious trouble. There was almost no doubt after just a few minutes because Jindrak and Reigns were the lamest of goons against a bunch of top stars. They never did anything beyond stomps and slams and it wasn’t exactly believable that they could be a threat. There was no drama here and it showed badly.

We recap Heidenreich vs. Undertaker. I’d go into the details here but Heidenreich is the definition of a monster for Undertaker to slay. There have been a lot of them over the years but Heidenreich is one of the lowest of the low. He tried to crush Undertaker with a car, which worked as well as you might have expected. Then he read poetry and seemed to sexually assault Michael Cole. Do I need to continue the explanation?

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Undertaker punches him into the corner to start and the referee wisely bails out to the floor. There’s a big boot to put Heidenreich down and Undertaker sends the arm into the corner. Some pulls on the arm look to set up Old School but Heyman offers a distraction so Heidenreich can break it up with a low blow.

Undertaker gets crotched against the post, which Cole thinks may be a kink in his armor. They head outside with Undertaker taking over off the shots to the ribs and the elbows on the apron. The apron legdrop completes the standard sequence and now Old School can connect. A Downward Spiral has Heidenreich in more trouble but the running boot in the corner misses.

Undertaker gets knocked off the apron so Heidenreich can hammer away against the barricade for two back inside. The chinlock goes on for a bit until a clothesline gives Heidenreich two more. Undertaker gets in a suplex and it’s time for the slugout. The clothesline takes Heidenreich down and it’s Snake Eyes into the big boot.

Right hands get Heidenreich out of the chokeslam and a Boss Man Slam gives him two. The punches in the corner are countered into a weak Last Ride with Heidenreich grabbing the rope for the break. Undertaker slams his way out of a sleeper in a hurry and now the chokeslam connects. The Tombstone finally finishes Heidenreich off.

Rating: D. This was far worse than bad as it was really, really boring. Heidenreich had nothing that felt like a threat to Undertaker and the match itself was much longer than it needed to be at about sixteen minutes. The villains continue to be weak on Smackdown with Undertaker dispatching this goon without much serious trouble, as he should have done.

Eric Bischoff says Maven may not be wrestling tonight and since there is so little time left, Bischoff won’t be naming a replacement. His vacation is too valuable to listen to HHH’s complaints about a replacement.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Lita. Trish mocked Lita for getting pregnant by Kane and referred to her as the Kiss of Death for destroying so many careers over the years. Lita lost the baby thanks to Snitsky but Trish wouldn’t shut up, with some of the best heel promos the women’s division has ever seen. Lita wants to kill her and if she wins the title as well, so be it.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish is defending and starts by hiding in the corner. That’s fine with Lita who slugs away and heads outside where a chair shots DQ’s Lita at just over a minute.

Post match Lita stays on her as Trish’s nose is busted.

Theodore Long comes in to see Team Guerrero and asks if he can talk to Cena alone. Show takes off his towel and Cena is a little disturbed. Long has some good news for him: Cena gets his US Title shot this week on Smackdown.

We recap JBL vs. Booker T. Booker earned the title shot by winning a title shot and the rest of the feud has been built around JBL’s lackey Orlando Jordan vs. interviewer Josh Matthews, because this feud doesn’t have the strongest legs.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T.

JBL is defending and will leave Smackdown if he loses. Feeling out process to start with JBL shouting that this isn’t WCW. Some right hands have JBL in trouble so he hits Booker in the back of the head to take over. Booker’s clothesline doesn’t do him much good as a swinging neckbreaker gives the champ two. A much better clothesline sends JBL outside, though he’s fine enough to poke Booker in the eye.

They fight over the announcers’ table and it’s Jordan getting a cheap shot in from behind. We hit the cobra clutch on Booker, followed by some elbow drops for two. And now, just to mix it up a bit, we hit the chinlock. With that broken up, JBL heads up top and gets superplexed right back down. They head outside with a Book End dropping JBL again though Jordan keeps it on the floor.

JBL and Jordan both get taken out and it’s Booker’s missile dropkick for tow back inside. The Houston Hangover misses but Booker is right back with more kicks to the face. Another Jordan distraction lets JBL get two off a DDT….and the ref gets bumped. It’s Jordan coming in again and this time bringing in a chair. Cue Josh Matthews to take the chair away but JBL kicks him in the face. Booker gets in his own kicks but the second referee takes his time diving in for two, allowing Jordan to make the save. The Book End hits Jordan but JBL hits Booker with the title to retain.

Rating: D. Back to back overly long matches from the blue show with JBL and Jordan being as dull of a combination as you can get. The JBL title reign has lost what little charm it had thanks to the Jordan addition, as the guy isn’t adding anything and was the focal point of this feud, despite being that bad. Booker was trying but he needs something better than this reheated HHH/Ric Flair formula.

Evolution has a pep talk before the main event. HHH leaves and Batista talks about wanting to have his night running Raw. The seeds are being planted.

We recap the Raw elimination tag. Bischoff is tired of being in charge so he’s taking a month off. Therefore, the winning team gets to run Raw a week at a time for a month. They have all made it clear that if they win, they’re coming for the World Title, which is about as logical as you can get. The problem though is there’s little reason to watch this show because it’s all about the next four weeks.

Team HHH vs. Team Orton

HHH, Batista, Gene Snitsky, Edge

Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Maven

There’s no Maven to start and Ric Flair is at ringside to make it 5-3. Benoit gets aggressive with Edge in the corner to start and elbows him in the face to take over. That’s enough to bring in Snitsky and Orton, which is quite the strange looking showdown. Their slugout doesn’t last long and it’s off to Jericho vs. HHH to keep up the alternating matchups. Orton is right back in to hammer on HHH with Flair panicking about HHH taking such a beating.

The jumping knee to the face gets HHH out of trouble and it’s Batista hitting his powerslam for two. Edge comes in and gets sent into the corner, allowing the quick tag to Benoit, who beats up everyone in short order. The rolling German suplexes have HHH in trouble and Benoit suplexes Edge onto him. A double Swan Dive gets two with Snitsky having to make a save.

The Sharpshooter has HHH In trouble but Snitsky makes another save. That’s enough for HHH to hit a quick Pedigree so Edge can pin Benoit for the first elimination. Jericho comes in next and gets taken down by a neckbreaker but HHH and Snitsky gets in a shouting match. HHH gets shoved down so Batista comes in to go nose to nose with Snitsky. Batista realizes what’s going on and breaks up the Walls on HHH.

Flair gets caught breaking up the Walls again and that means an ejection. With the referee taking care of Flair, Batista blasts Jericho and Orton with a double clothesline. Orton breaks up the big clothesline to Jericho with a belt shot and it’s a running enziguri to eliminate Batista. That’s not it for Batista to leave in peace though so he blasts Jericho with the big clothesline and then heads out. Snitsky comes in for stomping and choking instead of covering because he’s new at this. It’s off to Edge, who gets taken down with a sleeper drop but Snitsky breaks up the hot tag attempt. Everything breaks down again but here’s a bandaged up Maven to come in and go after Snitsky.

Maven’s middle rope bulldog takes HHH down but Snitsky caves his head in with a chair shot that would get him tossed out of the building today. Here it’s just a DQ, though HHH pins Maven with no trouble a second later. We’re down to HHH/Edge vs. Orton/Jericho with Jericho slipping out of the Pedigree but getting speared down for two. HHH and Edge smile down at Orton, who says bring it on.

The double stomping is on with Edge stomping away and handing it off to HHH, with JR losing his mind that Edge won’t get out of the ring. HHH’s DDT gets two and he argues with the referee, allowing Orton to roll him up for two. Edge comes in and accidentally spears HHH to give Orton the easy pin. We’re down to HHH vs. Orton with the former starting fast with a low blow. Orton gets up again and counters the Pedigree into the RKO for the pin. The Orton vs. HHH part was barely a minute and a half long.

Rating: B-. Perfectly watchable match here with Snitsky still being protected and Maven still being Maven. Other than that they’ve done a good job of making Orton look like a threat to the title, but the two Canadians are just kind of there with little reason to believe that they’re going to be a threat t o the title. That leaves us waiting until probably the Royal Rumble for a new challenger, meaning it’s time for winter vacation without missing any time from the show.

Orton poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a really weird one as it contains a lot of perfectly watchable to good wrestling, but absolutely nothing that changes anything long term. The main event stipulation lasts a grand total of four episodes of Monday Night Raw, and while that might change something, there’s no guarantee that any of this could actually matter. The Smackdown stuff was even less important with the two main matches being long and dull, leaving us with no one to challenge JBL at the moment.

Overall, the show is a rather quick sit (only a little over two and a half hours) with nothing too bad (boring, but not terrible). It could have been worse, but the biggest problem is how nothing actually matters in the end. Like I said, they’re in a big transitional period right now and while they probably have long term goals in mind, this is a rather hard stretch to get through because the villains feel like placeholders, which is the case with most of the stories at the moment. It can get better, but we have some long stretches to get through first.

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Monday Night Raw – June 30, 2008: The Solution To A Problem

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 30, 2008
Location: Ford Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Attendance: 9,800
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with the Draft and that means things are changing around here in a big way. There are some new stars, but the interesting part is that the top champion is currently the new Intercontinental Champion, Kofi Kingston. Both World Titles are on Smackdown and the ECW Title is in ECW, which means something is going to have to change. Let’s get to it.

Here is Night Of Champions if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Vince McMahon being taken out at the end of Million Dollar Mania.

Shane McMahon joins us to say that since his dad is a private man, we won’t be talking about what happened last week. Everyone here needs to pull together in this time of uncertainty.

Opening sequence.

Here is Jim Ross to get things going. JR is grateful to be here and is thankful for everyone who has come along with him. He is starting a new journey on Smackdown and hopes everyone comes with him as they take the show to places it has never gone before. We also get a special thank you to Jerry Lawler, who JR refers to as his older brother. JR puts Michael Cole over as his successor (the fans boo anyway) before talking about his history here in Oklahoma City. He doesn’t seem too thrilled with Vince McMahon, who is probably a Longhorn fan.

Anyway, he asks we join him on Smackdown and eat more barbecue…but here are Edge, Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder to interrupt. Edge says he had to be here because JR’s arrogance amazes him. Why should anyone care about him? Or the Sooners? Or JR’s relationship with Jerry Lawler? It’s not all bad though, because now JR can come to Smackdown and start his real Hall Of Fame career. Instead of STONE COLD, it’s going to be EDGE WINS!

Edge wants him to try it but JR drops the mic instead. With that, Edge has Hawkins and Ryder escort JR out, leaving him to talk about how Vickie Guerrero and the Undertaker aren’t here. The Shawn Michaels, the John Cenas, the Rey Mysterios and more will never have a shot at the World Title and outside of a Draft show, you will never see him on Raw again. Edge goes to leave but cue Batista to get some revenge for last night. Batista sends him into various things and hits the Batista Bomb inside to leave Edge laying…..AND HERE IS CM PUNK WITH THE BRIEFCASE!

Smackdown World Title: CM Punk vs. Edge

Punk is challenging and hits the GTS to win the title! Well that’s one way to open the show.

Post break we get some replays as commentary hypes up how important that really was.

Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall

Non-title and Mickie is aghast as Jillian’s singing. Mickie knocks her outside to start and hits a slingshot dropkick through the ropes. Back in and Jillian goes after the bad arm before slamming her head first onto the mat. The handspring elbow misses in the corner though and the Mick Kick finishes Jillian out of nowhere.

Here is Rey Mysterio for a chat. First of all, Rey thanks CM Punk for bringing the World Title back to Raw. Rey likes the idea of being on the show but here is Santino Marella to interrupt. Santino officially welcome Rey to Mondays. However, he thinks that Rey is hiding behind the mask because he is ugly, stupid, or Batman. Santino thinks Rey is out for attention and we see a photo of Rey on the cover of WWE Magazine. Why wasn’t Santino’s picture used? We see said photo, which is Santino laid out on a bed with a flower in hand. Santino seems to threaten him so the beating is on, with Rey hitting the 619.

We look at CM Punk winning the World Title again.

Punk is so happy with his win and thanks Batista for the attempt. He thanks as many people as he can remember when JBL interrupts. JBL asks if Punk is proud winning a title that way before asking for a title shot tonight. Works for Punk.

Here is John Cena for a chat. No he didn’t win the title last night but he takes that loss with pride. Losing to HHH showed that they are the two best in the business but that brings us to tonight. CM Punk made history and that was awesome, though JBL tried to steal his spotlight. Cena likes Punk because he has brains and guts so he would have given anyone a title shot. Anyone from Harvey Wippleman to Downtown Bruno to Abe Knuckleball Schwartz to Cena himself.

That’s a good idea, and since there is no boss around here, let’s get Punk out here to make up his own mind. Instead here is JBL to say he’s facing Punk tonight and that he’s declaring MARTIAL LAW in WWE. JBL brings out security to escort Cena out of the building because he more or less runs WWE these days. Security and JBL beat him down and Cena is (finally) carried out. Well that didn’t make Cena look very good.

Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase vs. Darren Wade/Steve Anthony

Non-title. Cody takes Anthony down without much effort to start and it’s quickly off to DiBiase for some stomping. The DDT gives Cody the fast pin.

Post match Rhodes talks about how annoying Hardcore Holly was, with his talk about doing things the “right way”. All that got Cody was a job carrying Holly to keep the baby boomer’s career alive. You don’t tell someone as talented as Cody to pay his dues because he couldn’t even focus on himself. So he moved over to a new partner who is young, good looking and dynamic. DiBiase talks about how people under thirty are spoiled but they took matters into their own hands, which makes them….priceless.

Katie Lea Burchill and Paul Burchill talk about how she should be/will be Women’s Champion. He goes to deal with something so here is Jamie Noble to hit on her. Noble plans to go up to the biggest, meanest guy around and go after him. Cue Kane so Noble goes up to him for the threats, including a knock knock joke with a threat as the punchline. Kane sends him running off. Noble comes running into the arena with Kane following. While Noble manages a few shots of his own, the beating doesn’t take long and Noble is chokeslammed onto the announcers’ table.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston

Kingston is defending in a rematch after winning the title last night. Before the match, an annoyed Jericho talks about how WWE.com called him Y2 Jaded after he was cheated out of the Intercontinental Title. As for tonight, Shawn Michaels isn’t in the building, which is what Jericho has heard for weeks now. Believe it or not, Shawn is involved in another lie! There is a problem with Shawn’s eye but Jericho is challenging him for the Great American Bash.

With that out of the way, we’re ready to go and we’re joined in progress after a break with Jericho working on a neck crank. Kofi fights up and hits a running forearm into the Boom Drop. Back up and Jericho gets a boot up in the corner, setting up the Lionsault for two. They trade rollups with both using the tights but only Jericho gets caught….and that’s a DQ.

Rating: C. They didn’t have time to do much here but this was about Jericho making his challenge for Shawn Michaels and being all upset. That’s a fine way to go and it makes for a different way to go for Jericho. This is one of the more interesting things on either show at the moment and the match with Shawn should be awesome.

Post match Jericho lays Kofi out.

We look back at the CM Punk title win.

Edge blames Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins for his loss and tells them to get in the car and drive him away.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Punk is defending and cue JBL’s security as we get going. JBL takes over in the corner to start as the fans are cheering for Cena. Back up and Punk knees him out to the floor, where JBL hits a heck of a clothesline. A boot to the face hits Punk as the fans are getting behind the champ for a change. JBL grabs a sleeper but Punk elbows his way out and gets a boot up in the corner. Punk kicks him in the head and hits the springboard clothesline for two. Cue John Cena and Cryme Tyme to brawl with the security, with the distraction letting Punk hit the GTS to retain.

Rating: C. This was another short match that didn’t exactly make Punk look like a star but he did get the pin. It just might not be the best sign that the fans were chanting for John Cena, though that was kind of the problem with what happened earlier tonight. For now though, it’s a nice enough start for Punk, who played the underdog well here.

Punk gets in on the fight to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Well this show was all about making CM Punk the new champ and setting up JBL as the top heel against both Punk and John Cena. That might make sense on paper, but there is the fact that it’s JBL getting this much time. He’s in his slow talking phase here and hearing him talk about how rich and powerful he is isn’t going to last long. At the same time, there is the Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho feud, which should be a lot better once Shawn is back.

 

 

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Night Of Champions 2008 (2023 Redo): Gold Only Gets You So Far

Night of Champions 2008
Date: June 29, 2008
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 16,151
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Mike Adamle, Jim Ross, Joey Styles, Tazz, Mick Foley

We’re done with the Draft and this is the final show before we enter the new reality, starting with next week’s TV. Tonight has a pretty stacked card as the focus is on championships, including Edge defending the Smackdown World Title against Batista and John Cena challenging HHH for the Raw World Title. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how important it is to be a champion, with people promising this will be their night. We get more specific looks at the bigger matches as well.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Miz/John Morrison vs. Hornswoggle/Finlay

Miz and Morrison are defending. Finlay and Morrison start things off with an elbow dropping Morrison for a fast two. Back up and Morrison sends him into the corner and out to the floor, where Morrison and Miz grab Hornswoggle. Back in and Hornswoggle wants to fight but Finlay comes in to do it for him so house can be cleaned. Stereo seated sentons hit the champs but Morrison kicks Finlay in the head to take over.

The slingshot elbow/backbreaker combination gets two on Finlay but he’s back with an atomic drop. Hornswoggle tags himself in to pick up the pace until Morrison cheap shots him down. A double clothesline cuts off Hornswoggle’s comeback attempt but Miz misses the charge in the corner. Hornswoggle kicks Morrison away and the hot tag brings Finlay back in. Everything breaks down and Finlay hits the Celtic Cross on Morrison, only to have Miz break up the Tadpole Splash. Morrison slams Hornswoggle off the top to retain.

Rating: C+. This could have been so much worse as Hornswoggle and Finlay worked well together as a team and at least it was a fresh set of opponents for Miz and Morrison. While there aren’t a lot of options for challengers, they have more or less cleaned out the division and it was time to find someone new to come after the belts. Finlay and Hornswoggle did well for a one off challenge and it was a pretty nice match as well.

We look at John Cena beating HHH in the main event of Wrestlemania XXII. They really are making the rematch feel like a huge deal and that’s great to see.

US Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Matt Hardy

Chavo, with Bam Neely, is challenging. They fight over a lockup to start until Matt gets in a quick takedown. Chavo is right back with a headlock takeover, only to get backdropped to put him down again. With the grappling not working, Chavo starts in on the leg and wraps it around the ropes. Neely helps out by wrapping the leg around the post and Chavo cranks away back inside.

Matt avoids something off the middle rope though and hits a quick Side Effect. The middle rope elbow connects for two so Matt goes up again, only to get pulled into a half crab. That’s broken up but so is the Twist of Fate as Chavo gets the half crab again. Matt makes the ropes so Chavo tries the Three Amigos. That’s countered into the Twist of Fate to retain the title.

Rating: C. As you might have expected, these two worked a completely fine match against each other but it wasn’t the most thrilling. Chavo just isn’t someone who feels like he’s going to win that prestigious of a title, even if Matt is about to take it to ECW. Completely fine match, but nothing that stuck out in any meaningful way.

We look at the end of Million Dollar Mania.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Kane is defending and Henry was added after beating Kane on ECW. They start fast with Kane hammering away and avoiding a Henry splash in the corner. Henry is knocked outside, leaving Show and Kane to slug it out. Kane’s running DDT gets two but Show knocks him outside again. Show and Henry get their big showdown, with Henry’s running shoulder having almost no effect. A clothesline and slam put Henry down as trainers come out to check on Kane.

Show drops Henry again but it’s too early for a chokeslam. Instead they collide again for a double knockdown, allowing Kane to come back in. Alternating corner clotheslines set up a whip to send Henry into Show’s raised boot. The double chokeslam plants Henry but Show and Kane argue over who gets the cover. Kane hits an enziguri but Show knocks him out of the air for two. Something close to an Angle Slam gives Show two more so he goes up, only to get superplexed back down. Kane is down as well though and Henry hits a splash for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. They went with the straight up monster mash formula here and as luck would have it, the people involved know exactly how to do that match. This was a perfectly entertaining match with Henry getting the win that he has deserved after the last few weeks of being a monster. Good stuff here with the right result.

Batista is ready to move to Raw with the Smackdown World Title. John Cena comes in to say he’s winning too, but here is CM Punk to say the Money In The Bank briefcase is getting heavy.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly vs. Ted DiBiase Jr./???

Rhodes and Holly are defending and DiBiase’s mystery partner is….not here yet, so maybe we can wait ten minutes. That won’t happen so we’ll start the match anyway. Cody starts for the team but DiBiase wants Holly….who gets dropped by Cody with a DDT. DiBiase announces Cody as his partner and gives Holly a cobra clutch legsweep for the pin and the titles. That’s certainly the twist and my goodness it’s better than Holly and Cody’s lame team.

JBL, in a luxury box, is upset that he’s not in a match on the show. Todd Grisham suggests it’s because he isn’t a champion so JBL goes into a speech about how he is successful while the American economy is crumbling. With Vince McMahon gone, he is the richest man in WWE (as we have back to back rich villain segments). He’s also more successful than Mark Cuban (Dallas Mavericks owner) because he doesn’t see any championship banners around here.

JBL mocks the Dallas Cowboys and praises HIS New York Giants, the Super Bowl champions. Everyone loves a champion, and that is why he is Texas’ favorite New Yorker. He’ll be getting a title soon enough. This was slow speaking JBL and that’s not exactly an inspiring change of pace.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. ???

Jericho is defending against a surprise opponent, which will NOT be Shawn Michaels. Since Michaels can’t make a thirty minute light, Jericho is here as an honest man to defend his title. Instead, he’s facing….Kofi Kingston, who came over to Raw in the Supplemental Draft. Lance Cade is here with Jericho, who drives Kingston into the face to start. A headlock takeover puts Kingston on the mat but he’s right back up. Jericho knocks him down again and doesn’t seem too worried to start.

Kingston picks up the pace with the rapid fire leapfrogs so Jericho bails outside, only to be taken down by a slingshot dive. Back in and Jericho dumps Kingston over the top for a big crash, followed by the stomping back inside. A suplex puts Kingston down for two more and Jericho bends his back over the knee. The abdominal stretch goes on but Kingston hiptosses his way to freedom.

Jericho’s belly to back superplex is turned into a crossbody for two and Kingston starts striking way. A clothesline into the Boom Drop gets two on Jericho and a hurricanrana gets the same. Jericho is right back with a knockdown into the Lionsault….but here is Shawn Michaels to superkick Cade. Jericho decks Shawn off the apron but the distraction lets Kingston hit Trouble In Paradise for the pin and the title out of nowhere.

Rating: B-. That was a shock and that’s what they seemed to be trying to do. Shawn costing Jericho the title makes all the sense in the world as it gives Jericho a reason to want to get revenge on him despite Shawn not being able to wrestle. Good match too, as Kingston has that unique offense that makes him fun to watch.

Post match Shawn seems pretty banged up so Jericho hits him in the eye again to leave him laying.

Vickie Guerrero wants to talk wedding flowers with Edge when Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder come in. They say it’s too bad about HHH, who had to help Batista on Smackdown. Otherwise he could have helped Edge tonight, an idea that Edge doesn’t like. We hear Edge’s resume and he promises to keep the title tonight.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Katie Lea Burchill

Katie, with Paul Burchill, is challenging and grabs a rollup for a very fast two. They get back up with Mickie pulling her down by the arm and going up, which sends Katie bailing to the floor. Back in and Mickie kicks her down for two but a trip to the floor lets Katie take over. Katie suplexes her onto the arm to put Mickie in trouble and said arm is sent into the buckle. We hit the armbar and a DDT to the arm gives Katie two. Mickie comes out of the corner with a hurricanrana though and some clotheslines get two. Katie grabs a Fujiwara armbar but Mickie fights out again. Another suplex is blocked and a MickieDT retains the title.

Rating: C-. This could have been on any given Raw and it still would have been just as uninteresting. There is only so much to be gotten out of a match with a not so interesting challenger and such a basic story. It’s far from terrible, but they shouldn’t have even bothered if this was all they were allowed to do.

We recap Edge vs. Batista for the Smackdown World Title. Edge won the title at One Night Stand and Batista wants it. Violence has ensued.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Batista

Batista is challenging and wastes no time in powering Edge down. They head to the floor with Edge being sent into the barricade and shouldered down back inside. A Jackhammer gives Batista two and there’s a clothesline back to the floor as it’ all Batista so far. Batista throws him back in but Edge manages a posting for a much needed breather.

Edge Chokes on the ropes and drops an elbow on the apron but Batista slugs his way out of trouble. A swinging neckbreaker puts his right back in trouble though and Edge grabs the chinlock. Back up and Batista gets sent face first into the buckle, followed by a neckbreaker (non-swinging edition). That means we can hit the chinlock again but Batista is back up faster this time.

Edge gets taken down by a hard clothesline and we get a double breather. The spear gives Batista two and a powerslam puts him down again. Edge is right back with a much needed Edgecution but Batista knees the spear away. Batista goes up, only to get dropkicked out of the air to leave them down again.

Cue the Edgeheads with Vickie Guerrero as Batista hits the spinebuster, meaning Vickie has to make the save. Edge decks the referee so Vickie calls out another referee…and gets Chavo Guerrero (with Bam Neely). Batista grabs Vickie and throws her over the top and onto the pile, but Edge gets in a belt shot. Chavo counts the (actually not fast) pin to retain the title.

Rating: B-. The match was good for the most part, but then the ending was about as lame and uninspired of a choice as they could have had. It was just another La Familia run in ending, with the really slow count from the referee being the only thing missing. Granted almost none of this matters as Batista is on his way to Raw anyway, but I was hoping for more.

Batista gets the big emotional sendoff, which loses some of its impact when you keep in mind that he’ll be back tomorrow night.

HHH is ready to right the wrong of two years ago.

We recap HHH vs. John Cena for the former’s Raw World Title. This is billed as the biggest match Raw can have and goes back to HHH losing to Cena in the main event of Wrestlemania XXII. The build has gone well and it really does feel like a top level match.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging. HHH’s headlock doesn’t get him anywhere to start as Cena runs him over with a shoulder. A hiptoss works better for HHH so Cena grabs a headlock of his own. That works just as well so Cena hits another shoulder and the release fisherman’s suplex gets two. The flying shoulder misses though and Cena crashes out to the floor. Back in and Cena hits a suplex as the pace slows back down.

Cena fight back again and hits the ProtoBomb but the Shuffle is broken up. HHH hits the jumping knee but Cena is right back with the Throwback. Another Shuffle is cut off by another jumping knee but Cena sends him flying over the corner. HHH comes up holding his leg so Cena is right on it, including a wrap around the post. It’s too early for the STFU as HHH makes the ropes so HHH hits a desperation Pedigree for a delayed two.

Cena grabs an FU for the same and they’re both down. Back up and they slug it out until Cena hits another ProtoBomb. The Shuffle is blocked again and HHH tries a Pedigree, only to be reversed into the STFU. HHH goes for the rope so Cena pulls him back, allowing HHH to counter into a Crossface. Cena manages to stand but the FU is countered into the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: B. This was a strange match as it sent over twenty minutes and definitely felt like a major fight, but it felt like they were only getting started when HHH got the pin. For once this could have gone for another five to ten minutes to really get going. The HHH leg stuff could have been something but it wasn’t really given time to develop. It’s not something that is said very often, but HHH needed more time for a change.

Replays and posing take us out.

Overall Rating: B-. It’s a good show but nothing you really need to go out of your way to see. The main event is the best thing on the show and even then it’s not a match you really need to see. They had an easy theme here with all of the title matches but even then, only the Tag Team Titles and the Intercontinental Title changes felt like moments, and even they were on the lower end of things. Overall, it’s certainly not a bad show, but they hyped it up as this major event and it just wasn’t.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – June 23, 2008 (WWE Draft): Three At Once!

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 23, 2008
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 15,183
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Mick Foley, Mike Adamle, Tazz

It’s a big night as we have three things going on at once. We have a three hour show with the major focus being the annual Draft, with the focal point being that EVERYONE is available to be drafted. Other than that, Million Dollar Mania is still going so expect a lot of Vince McMahon. Finally, it’s also the last Raw before Night Of Champions. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Commentary welcomes us to the show and hype up the idea of everyone being switched around.

HHH (Raw) vs. Mark Henry (Smackdown)

Non-title and it seems that the winning brand gets a Draft pick. Henry yells a lot and HHH looks nervous, with Henry running him over to make it worse. The headbutts rock HHH some more and Henry runs him over for an early two. A Vader Bomb gets two more and Henry grabs the neck crank. HHH finally slips out and tries some running forearms to stagger Henry. The facebuster sets up more right hands and the jumping knee finally puts Henry down. The Pedigree is countered into the World’s Strongest Slam for two but Henry misses the splash. That’s enough for the Pedigree to give HHH the pin.

Rating: C. There was only so much that HHH could do here and he made it work as well as possible. Henry is a big monster and the Pedigree was only going to look so good, but HHH trying to knock him down was a nice sequence. For a quick match, they did about as well as they could have, with Henry being a fine monster.

Drafted to Raw: Rey Mysterio.

Here is Vince McMahon to announce that tonight, five people will win $100,000 and one will win $500,000. Vince brings out Kelly Kelly to help him and they call a woman….who Vince says gives the wrong password. Kelly says it’s right though and gives us a celebratory dance.

HHH welcomes Rey Mysterio to Raw when John Cena comes in. Rey leaves so HHH can say he’s not losing to Cena again at Night Of Champions. HHH says nothing Cena has done matters until Cena beats him for the title.

Finlay/Hornswoggle (Smackdown) vs. Carlito/Santino Marella (Raw)

For a draft pick. Santino wants Hornswoggle to start and gets Stunned for his efforts. Finlay comes in and ties Santino up in the ring skirt for the beating. A Carlito cheap shot puts Finlay down though and the villains take over. Santino gets caught with the shillelagh and it’s the Celtic Cross into the Tadpole Splash for the pin.

Drafted to Smackdown: Jeff Hardy.

Hardy comes out to pose and we see the still injured Randy Orton watching backstage.

Vince McMahon brings out Randy Orton to help give away more money. First though, Orton warns HHH and John Cena that he’s coming back for the WWE Title. Actually that’s it for Orton, who isn’t in the mood to help give away money. Vince is in the mood to do that, but he’ll also give us a great main event tonight: Cena vs. Edge.

Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes (Raw) vs. Chavo Guerrero/Bam Neely (ECW)

For a draft pick and Ted DiBiase Jr. is on commentary to promote his dad’s book. Neely jumps Cody to start and the stomping is on in the corner. Chavo comes in but Cody escapes a belly to back suplex and hands it off to Holly as the crowd is almost eerily silent. Holly hits the hanging kick to the ribs but the Alabama Slam is broken up. Chavo headscissors Cody to the floor, only to walk into the Alabama Slam for the fast pin.

Drafted to Raw: CM Punk. It’s about time.

Here is Chris Jericho for a chat. Jericho is used to fans throwing trash at him, but he’s just waiting for Shawn Michaels to turn on the fans like he does with everyone else. We see a highlight package of Shawn turning on people over the years, including Marty Jannetty, Diesel, Hulk Hogan and John Cena.

Then we move into Shawn faking his knee injury, which has Jericho talking about all of Shawn’s lies. Jericho hates lies more than anyone else, save for maybe one person: the man who helped Jericho against HHH last week, Lance Cade. We see Cade on the Titantron, where he talks about how he was trained by Shawn Michaels and wasn’t going to give Shawn the chance to turn on him.

Jericho never lied to him, but now Jericho needs a person to face for the Intercontinental Title at Night Of Champions. It would have been Shawn, but we see Jericho massacring him. Cue Shawn, with his eye taped up, to go after Jericho. Shawn slugs away, until Jericho sends him eye first into the announcers’ table to cut him off immediately. That match is going to have some crazy heat.

We recap the Draft picks to date.

John Morrison/Miz (ECW) vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder (Smackdown)

Vickie Guerrero introduces Hawkins and Ryder, but recent developments have made her change her mind. Here’s the new match:

John Morrison/Miz (ECW) vs. Jeff Hardy/Matt Hardy (Smackdown)

Non-title but for a Draft pick. Matt and Miz start things off as Cole talks about how great this was from Vickie Guerrero. Matt’s wristlock and headlock don’t get very far as Miz takes him into the corner for the left hands. That’s broken up as well so Matt hits a clothesline and hands it off to Jeff for Poetry In Motion. The slingshot dropkick hits Miz in the corner but Morrison gets in a cheap shot to take over.

Morrison grabs a chinlock and then it’s off to Miz for, uh, another chinlock actually. Jeff fights up but Miz runs him over again for two. A legdrop gives Miz two more and we hit a crossface chickenwing. Jeff fights up and nails a quick Whisper In The Wind to put them both down. The diving tag brings in Matt to clean house, including the Side Effect for two on Morrison. The middle rope legdrop connects but Morrison is right back up with a rollup (and tights) for the pin.

Rating: C. This felt like it was supposed to be a low level dream match but it was pretty dull for the most part. There were some good moments with Matt’s comeback working well, but you’re only going to be able to get so far with an eight minute match and a pretty abrupt ending. At least ECW got something though.

Drafted to ECW: Matt Hardy (with the US Title).

Vince McMahon recaps Million Dollar Mania and brings out Ric Flair to help him give away $100,000. Flair calls and the fan wins the money, plus a bonus WOO!

We look at Mickie James participating in the Dreams Take Flight charity event.

Mickie James/Melina (Raw) vs. Natalya Neidhart/Victoria (Smackdown)

For a Draft pick, but only announcers/interviewers are eligible. Natalya grabs a front facelock on Melina to start before a powerslam gets two. Victoria comes in and drives Melina into the corner but Melina rolls her up for two more. Back up and Victoria sends her off the top for a crash to the floor, where Melina looks banged up. Mickie goes over to check on her but the brawl is on for the double DQ.

Drafted to Smackdown: Jim Ross. To say he does not look happy with this would be an understatement.

Drafted to Monday Night Raw: Michael Cole.

Post break we see Melina being taken out of the arena as she seems to have suffered a rather bad leg injury.

Vince McMahon brings out Great Khali to plug his new movie Get Smart, which also features Dwayne Johnson. Khali calls someone who says “wrong number” and hangs up. Someone else answers, tells Vince to hang on and brings on someone else to give the password (Khali looks mad and yells a lot) but the guy wins (and sounds bored).

John Cena (Raw) vs. Edge (Smackdown)

Non-title but for a Draft pick. Jim Ross isn’t sure why he’s calling a match involving a Raw competitor (oh yeah this isn’t going well) as they fight over a lockup to start. Cena sends him into the corner but misses a running bulldog, allowing Edge to score with a big boot. Edge slugs away as Foley is handling most of the commentary. A hard clothesline drops Cena again as JR talks about how he didn’t expect to leave Raw tonight but that’s how the cards were dealt.

Cena comes back with a shot of his own for two but it’s a double clothesline to put them both down. It’s Cena up first to start the comeback until Edge escapes the FU into the Edgecution for two. The spear is countered into the STFU, sending Edge over to the ropes rather quickly. Edge goes up top but has to escape a super FU, allowing him to knock Cena outside. Cena catches him diving off the apron though and decks Edge, who takes the countout.

Rating: C+. These two always have good chemistry together and anything they do is at least worth a look. At the same time, the result was one of the only options they had, as you don’t want either of them losing heading into a World Title match on Sunday. They didn’t have much time here, but what they did was pretty nice while it lasted.

Post match Batista throws Edge inside for a beating.

Drafted to Raw: Batista. Well that’s convenient timing.

Post break Edge and Vickie Guerrero are glad with their win because Batista is out of their hair. Vince McMahon comes in to say the title match is still on for Night Of Champions. This might have had a bigger impact if Michael Cole hadn’t said the same thing before the break. Vince suggests Vickie and Edge could be split up and panic ensues.

MVP (Smackdown) vs. Tommy Dreamer (ECW)

For a Draft pick.  Colin Delaney is here with Dreamer, who gets punched in the ribs and kicked in the head to start. They trade right hands as commentary seems way off here, with Mick Foley joining in and talking about a Playboy Playmate. Tazz: “You know there is a match going on.” MVP misses a charge in the corner and gets hit with a bulldog. Not that it matters as MVP hits a running boot in the corner for the pin.

Drafted to Smackdown: Umaga. Cue Umaga to beat up Dreamer and Delaney.

Draft recap.

John Bradshaw Layfield (Raw) vs. Kofi Kingston (ECW)

For a Draft pick. JBL grabs a headlock to start but Kofi is back up with the jumping back elbow. With the jumping getting on JBL’s nerves, he kicks Kofi in the face to take over. Something close to a cobra clutch keeps Kofi in trouble and the clubbing forearms to the back make it even worse. The bearhug goes on but Kofi sends him into the corner to escape. A dropkick looks to set up the Boom Drop but the Clothesline From JBL finishes Kofi.

Rating: C+. This took some time to get going but there was something good about having Kofi using his weird style and JBL just hitting him in the face over and over. Kofi is still someone who is on his way up and needs to be in there against bigger competition. Fun little match here, and Kofi feels like he is on the way up.

Drafted to Raw: ECW Champion Kane.

Vince McMahon gives away more money…..and the fan happens to be here in the arena.

Night Of Champions rundown.

Battle Royal

Raw: CM Punk, HHH, Kane, John Cena, Batista

ECW: Matt Hardy, John Morrison, Miz, Chavo Guerrero, Shelton Benjamin

Smackdown: Big Show, Edge, Jeff Hardy, Great Khali, MVP

For two Draft picks and that’s one heck of a lineup. We’re joined in progress after a break and a bunch of people get together to toss Khali. Everyone looks at Show who tells them to bring it and then knocks a bunch of them down. Miz can’t get rid of Edge but Batista can get rid of Miz and Morrison at the same time.

Show and MVP send Punk over the top but not out as this is not the most thrilling stuff despite the names involved. Edge fires off some spears and we take a break. Back with Punk having been eliminated and HHH hitting a facebuster on Show. Matt gets the same thing and Jeff enziguris Chavo out. That leaves Matt as the sole ECW star as Benjamin seems to have been tossed during the break as well.

There goes MVP and we get the Hardys showdown. Jeff gets the better of things and kicks Matt out to officially finish off ECW. Edge and Batista both try spears and they’re both down in a heap. Jeff misses Whisper In The Wind and HHH knocks him out and it’s HHH, Cena, Batista (very bloody), Kane, Show and Edge left.

Batista spears Edge but gets punched out by Show. Kane is knocked out as well and it’s two vs. two. Show manages to suplex Edge and Cena at the same time, leaving everyone down. HHH and Cena get back up and dump Show but Edge knocks Cena into HHH to get rid of him. Cena is so shocked that Edge is able to toss him for the win.

Rating: C. The ending got better, but there were some long stretches with pretty much nothing going on here. That isn’t the best way to draw up interest in the match but at least the star power was on display. I was expecting ECW to win to finally get a little something else, though that would imply WWE cares about ECW in any meaningful way.

Drafted to Smackdown: Mr. Kennedy and HHH (Raw World Champion).

We go up to Vince McMahon, who gives away $500,000…..and then the stage collapses. Vince is crushed under a part of the set and yells for Paul because he can’t feel his legs to end the show.

Raw
Rey Mysterio
CM Punk
Michael Cole
Kane
Batista

Smackdown
Jeff Hardy
Jim Ross
Umaga
Mr. Kennedy
HHH

ECW
Matt Hardy

Overall Rating: C+. As you might have guessed, this wasn’t the most traditional show, as they were trying to do a lot of things at once. Between the Draft and the money and hyping up Sunday’s show, this was a bit too all over the place. The Draft was the big focus and some of the moves should shake things up a bit, though ECW is gutted even more than before. Above all else though, I feel sorry for Jim Ross, who gets treated badly again, because Vince McMahon enjoys it or something.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – June 9, 2008: Almost All About The Money

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 9, 2008
Location: Oracle Arena, Oakland, California
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Both Night Of Champions and the Draft are looming, but this is about MONEY! Tonight is the official start of the new concept as Vince McMahon is going to be giving money to the fans. I’m sure this won’t dominate the conversation on commentary, even with John Cena challenging HHH at the pay per view is already set. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with Vince McMahon and it’s money time. Vince has $1 million in cash brought out and put in a case, as he explains how to win (register, answer the password he gives you, win money). The password is “WWE Universe” and we’ll have our first phone call, for $200,000, after our first match.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Paul Burchill

Katie Lea is here with Burchill, who is tossed outside in a hurry. Back in and Kennedy grabs a headlock as commentary talks about Kennedy’s rising popularity since he got rid of William Regal. Burchill belly to back suplexes Kennedy into the corner to escape and the chinlock goes on. That doesn’t last long as Kennedy is back up with a running boot to the head. The Mic Check finishes Burchill without much trouble.

Rating: C. Kennedy wins again and that is how you give someone a push. WWE is building him back up and winning a quick feud against Burchill should give him a nice step up. You can sense that WWE wants to do something big with Kennedy and he seems to be off to a nice restart.

Post match Katie comes in to slap Kennedy, allowing Burchill to hit the Twisted Sister (JR: “Holy Dee Snider!”

Here is Vince for the $200,000 giveaway and he even puts his glasses on to make the call. First up, Vince calls the wrong number, then he calls someone whose number plays music until the person answers the phone. The guy picks up but Vince hangs up on him, leaving JR and King a bit stunned. Vince: “You guys want to win $200,000 or not?” Vince calls the music guy again and this time he gets through, with the guy giving the password and winning the money. More later and hopefully with some more entertaining hijinks.

Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix

Non-title. Mickie kicks her in the ribs to start but a DDT attempt is countered into a kind of side slam for two. A slingshot suplex gives Beth two more but Mickie headscissors her way out of a powerbomb. Mickie hits a running dropkick to the face for two before the top rope Thesz press finishes Beth in a hurry.

Post match Beth decks Mickie but Melina runs in to go after Beth, including a top rope faceplant.

It’s time to give away more money and the guy wins $75,000.

John Cena and HHH run into each other in the back and talk about what a big match they’ll have at Night Of Champions. It’s not personal, but rather about being the best. HHH says he’s the best right now, but Cena reminds him of their Wrestlemania match. They’ll see what happens at Night Of Champions.

Charlie Haas of all people is here to help give away more money. Vince McMahon tries to call a few times and can’t get anywhere, as he makes jokes about modern technology and a “crack staff”. A guy named Gabe brings Vince another number, with Haas getting to dial. Actually never mind as Vince dials and gets through to a woman who wins $50,000.

Hang on though, as Vince says he’ll make it $100,000 if Haas can kiss a Diva. Cue Maria and kissing ensues, but Vince says if Haas can kiss another Diva, the woman gets another $25,000. Cue Mae Young, who grabs Haas by the trunks and kisses him. Ron Simmons comes out for his catchphrase as Young has Haas begging for help. That was as weird of a segment as you could have hoped to see.

JBL thinks no one deserves money but John Cena deserves a beating.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena

HHH is on commentary and a quick distraction lets JBL hammer away in the corner. JBL forearms him in the back but gets pulled down with the running bulldog. A swinging neckbreaker cuts Cena down for two but he gets up to stare JBL out to the floor. HHH and JBL have a standoff and we take a break.

Back with JBL kicking Cena in the face on the floor and dropping an elbow for a bonus. The cravate goes on back inside as we see Lawler on WWE.com for some reason. The sleeper goes on and Cena is in about as much trouble as you would expect for a sleeper to give John Cena. Another big boot cuts Cena down but he pops back up and initiates the finishing sequence. The AA is escaped though and the Clothesline From JBL gets a delayed two thanks to a foot on the rope. JBL loads up the announcers’ table, which takes long enough that Cena can grab a small package for the fast pin.

Rating: C. These two only have so much chemistry together and they don’t have great matches for two bigger stars. Granted it doesn’t help that Cena losing to JBL seems almost hard to fathom, especially with a big title match coming up. At least JBL got in some more offense here, but the whole rivalry being so one sided isn’t doing them any favors.

Post match Cena gets on the announcers’ table but HHH trips him down and leaves.

Vince McMahon comes out to give away more money, but first he talks to Lilian Garcia. He brings up her measurements and adds them up to 98, so let’s give away $98,000. A woman answers and wins.

Here is Chris Jericho for the Highlight Reel. His guest was a hero to Jericho as a child and during his career, so here is Shawn Michaels. Jericho talks about how Shawn is still banged up from the beating Batista gave him but brings up the “fake” knee injury. Shawn says the only person he lied to about the knee injury was Jericho himself, with Jericho talking about how he always get booed for telling the truth. Jericho wants to know how Shawn has become such a lying worm of a human being…and jumps him to start the fight. A low blow cuts Shawn off and Jericho says this is what Shawn wanted. Then he sends him face first into the Jeritron 5000 to bust Shawn’s eye open.

Post break, we see what we saw pre break.

Snitsky/Umaga vs. Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly

Non-title and my goodness how far Umaga has fallen. Cody dodges Snitsky to start before handing it off to Holly. That doesn’t go so well to start as Holly goes to the middle rope but Cody wanted a double suplex. The suplex works but Holly gets annoyed at Cody, allowing Snitsky to jump Holly and take over. Umaga comes in for a clothesline but Snitsky misses the big elbow for a crash. The double tag brings in Cody to slug away at Umaga but the dropkick only puts him on one knee. Umaga’s swinging release Rock Bottom is a swinging release faceplant this time and the Samoan Spike finishes Cody fast.

Rating: C-. Not much of a match here and it’s not exactly interesting to see Cody and Holly losing over and over. They only felt like a makeshift team in the first place but they’ve been champions for months now. That doesn’t make for a great story and now it seems we are on the way towards their inevitable demise. I’m sure Snitsky and Umaga will get a title shot out of this though yes?

Post match Ted DiBiase Jr. comes out to say the champs need to get their act together before they lose the titles at Night Of Champions.

WWE does work with Make-A-Wish. That’s always awesome, as the smiles on those kids’ faces are amazing.

Back in the arena and Vince McMahon cuts off Jillian Hall and Trevor Murdoch’s singing to give someone $2, the value of Hall’s singing. That’s so cruel it’s almost hilarious. Vince calls someone else and gives him $200,000, earning some swearing in happiness.

Cryme Tyme vs. Santino Marella/Carlito

Santino and JTG start things off with Santino grabbing a rollup for a fast two. JTG does it right back for the same and Santino is already looking annoyed. Shad comes in for a slam before Alabama Slamming JTG onto Santino for two. JTG gets knocked out of the air though and Marella puts on a camel clutch. That’s broken up and everything breaks down with Shad hitting an STO for the pin on Santino.

Rating: C. Hopefully that starts the end of Carlito and Marella’s run as a team as my goodness they’re about as lame of a team as you can get. Other than that, this was a nice win for Cryme Tyme, as they always seem ready to move on up to the title picture. Not enough time to do much here, but at least the right team won.

Post match Vince McMahon calls Cryme Tyme to the stage as he gives away $51,998. Lawler: “Did he say $51,998?” JR: “That’s right Jerome.” And the fan wins.

Jeff Hardy vs. HHH

Non-title and John Cena is on commentary. HHH runs him over with a shoulder to start but stops to stare at Cena, allowing Hardy to hammer away. More right hands look to set up the Twist of Fate but HHH powers him off and hits the spinebuster. The jumping knee gets two on Hardy and we hit the abdominal stretch (complete with a rope grab of course).

The facebuster connects as commentary talks about the value of a good right hand. Back up and Hardy misses the Whisper in the Wind, allowing HHH to clothesline him out to the floor. Hardy manages to drop him ribs first onto the barricade but HHH hiptosses Hardy into Cena for the crash. That’s enough for Cena to pull HHH off the apron….and Hardy wins by countout. Ok then.

Rating: C+. They got to do a bit here but it was only about nine minutes long and with that screwy finish. Cena vs. HHH does feel like a huge match but I would imagine it headlining Summerslam rather than Night Of Champions. At the same time, Hardy is getting a nice push here as well, which could bode well for his future.

Post match Cena and HHH stare each other down on the floor before Hardy dives onto both of them.

Vince McMahon comes out and thanks everyone for making Million Dollar Mania work. Then he gives a fan $250,000 to end the show with promises of another $1 million giveaway next week.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was mostly all about the money and it’s not exactly an interesting thing to see. Other than Vince not being able to use a phone very well and some mishaps, it was a lot of “here’s a person winning money”. The rest of the show wasn’t very interesting either, though HHH vs. Cena does feel like a huge pay per view match. Other than that though, pretty weak stuff this time around.

 

 

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One Night Stand 2008 (2023 Edition): This Has To Be It

One Night Stand 2008
Date: June 1, 2008
Location: San Diego Sports Arena, San Diego, California
Attendance: 9,961
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Mick Foley, Mike Adamle, Tazz

It’s time to go EXTREME as every match has some sort of a stipulation announced. The big Raw main event is HHH defending the Raw World Title against Randy Orton in a Last Man Standing match. On the other side, the vacant Smackdown World Title is literally up for grabs in a TLC match between Edge and Undertaker. Let’s get to it.

The opening match focuses on how everything is EXTREME with all kinds of matches.

Umaga vs. Jeff Hardy

Falls Count Anywhere. Umaga goes with the power to start but a quick Whisper In The Wind gives Hardy a breather. Hardy goes up top but dives into a swinging release Rock Bottom. Umaga misses a charge and falls to the floor though, allowing Hardy to hit a dive for two. They fight into the crowd and then up to the set, where Hardy hits him in the face with a traffic cone. That just earns him a superkick but Umaga misses a charge.

The fight heads into the back, where Umaga shrugs off a fire extinguisher blast and sends him into a wall. Hardy walks up the steps and slides down the handrail to take Umaga down in a rather unique crash. They wind up outside with Hardy being sent into an anvil case for two, only to send Umaga into the back door of an equipment truck. Hardy climbs up onto another truck and knocks Umaga down, setting up a Swanton off of said truck for the pin in one of the most unique looking dives you’ll ever see.

Rating: B-. It wasn’t the longest match, but I can absolutely appreciate them doing something other than the same old stuff. This was only in and around the ring for a minute or two at the start and then it felt like something of an old school hardcore match. It’s nice to see them going into a few different places for a change. Have some fun with the match, especially when you can open the show.

Earlier today, Mick Foley explained a stretcher match, complete with a demonstration.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Big Show vs. CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. Tommy Dreamer

Singapore cane match (meaning each corner has a pole with a cane at the top) and the winner gets the ECW Title shot later this month at Night Of Champions. Bam Neely is here with Chavo to make it six people out there at once. Everyone goes after Show to start and it goes about as well as you would expect, with Show being the last man standing.

The others get back up though and take Show down, setting up the quadruple sticking. With Show down on the floor, everyone quickly turns on each other until Chavo takes Punk outside. Chavo’s big swing hits NFL star Shawn Merriman, who takes it back and hits Chavo instead. Show picks up the steps so Morrison takes out his knee, sending Show’s face into the steps.

Back in and Dreamer counters the GTS into a Texas Cloverleaf but Morrison makes the save. A Tower of Doom takes out everyone….except for Show, who pops up. Neely gets taken down and Morrison is beaten up next. Back in and Show unloads with the stick and chokeslams Dreamer. Show’s eyes are busted open from the steps but he’s fine enough to hit a big cane shot to pin Dreamer.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work so well as while it was mainly about the sticks, those things kind of lose their impact rather quickly. Show was the monster in there and it makes sense that he wins, though they didn’t quite hide what was likely to happen from the start. Not an all time bad match or anything close, but more just a bad concept.

Vince McMahon promises to give away money on Raw. And no, WWE employees like interviewer Tod Grisham, are not eligible. Ron Simmons comes in to voice his displeasure.

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

First Blood. Cena wastes no time in pulling off a turnbuckle (revealing a large yellow pad) and then knocks JBL outside. JBL goes face first into the announcers’ table but, after a trip back inside, manages to low bridge him back outside. Some right hands have Cena in more trouble and a big boot makes it even worse. It’s already time for the chair but the big swing only hits post.

A microphone to the head drops Cena again and they head back inside for more mic shots. Cena is right back up with the comeback sequence (seems rather early) but JBL isn’t about to get FU’ed this soon. There’s a posting and Cena is down hard but not bleeding. A DDT onto the steps is broken up and now it’s Cena with the mic to the head.

Back in and JBL kicks him rather low and a ram into the exposed buckle makes it worse. With that not working, JBL gets in a hard shot to the ribs and grabs a chain, only to walk into an FU. JBL is able to hit a big boot and Cena gets tied up in the ropes (uh oh). That means it’s time for a bullwhip but Cena gets free and chains him down. The STFU with the whip goes on and JBL is bleeding from the mouth so the referee calls it.

Rating: B-. They had a few creative spots in there but the ending left a good bit to be desired. I can go for the idea of bleeding from the mouth for a different way to go, though that doesn’t make it all the more interesting. Also, you would think this was a way for JBL to win without Cena taking a fall but instead it’s Cena getting him again. Oh well.

Randy Orton comes in to see Batista and pitches a reuniting if they’re drafted to the same show. Batista doesn’t say a word.

Beth Phoenix vs. Melina

I Quit and they’ve hated each other for a while now. One of Melina’s photographers falls down on the way to the ring for a funny blooper. Beth trash talks her to the ropes to start but Melina snatches a guillotine of all things. That’s broken up with a backbreaker and Beth bends her over the knee for a bonus. What looked to be a slam off the top is reversed into a faceplant from Melina, who grabs a Muta Lock. Beth breaks that up as well and then drives her hard into the corner.

The over the shoulder backbreaker has Melina in more trouble before Beth switches off to an armbar. Melina is able to kick her into the post though and the rather logical Fujiwara armbar goes on. Make that a cross armbreaker but Beth powers up into a toss powerbomb. A wheelbarrow faceplant sets up a double chickenwing on Melina, whose legs are bent up against Beth’s as well. Beth switches into a neck crank, making Melina’s head touch the bottoms of her feet and that’s finally enough for the submission.

Rating: C+. That ending alone was enough to make this worth a look as no one is supposed to bend that way. It looked like Beth was about to break her and that is the kind of painful ending you want in a match like this. Beth almost has to be getting ready to go after the title again, as she is such a force over the other women that it is hard to not head in that direction again.

Mickie James comes to see John Cena in the trainer’s room but Mike Adamle comes out of the bathroom. He invites them to Tijuana with them but that’s a no, as is their status as a couple. Instead, Cena talks to Mickie about a rear naked choke.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Batista. Shawn beat him before but faked a knee injury to do so, which hasn’t set well with Batista. Tonight, it’s a stretcher match for revenge.

Shawn Michaels vs. Batista

Stretcher match. Shawn’s charges don’t work to start and Batista drops him with a clothesline. Another clothesline puts Shawn on the floor but he manages to send Batista into the steps. A stretcher shot to the ribs puts Batista down and Shawn does it again for a bonus. Batista is back up with a Batista Bomb attempt but Shawn reverses into a guillotine choke. The partially out Batista is put on the stretcher but it’s way too early to go anywhere.

Shawn gets rammed into the apron and then the barricade, followed by one heck of a clothesline. The big running powerslam looks to set up the spear but it only hits the post. Shawn’s forearm into the nipup into the top rope elbow connects but Sweet Chin Music is blocks. The Batista Bomb is escaped as well and there’s the superkick to put Batista on the stretcher (in a nice crash).

Batista gets back off of it though, meaning Shawn gets to spear him with the stretcher again. With the power not working, Batista goes with the smarts and see-saws the stretcher into Shawn’s face for a creative spot. Back in and the spinebuster into the Batista Bomb puts Shawn down again but here is Chris Jericho….to cheer Shawn?

Back in and Batista says he’s sorry but loves Shawn, setting up another Batista Bomb. Shawn is wheeled up to the finish line, only to have Jericho stop him for another pep talk. It’s enough to get Shawn off the stretcher (ok by falling but off), so Batista goes and gets the steps. The spinebuster onto the steps is enough for Batista to get the win.

Rating: B. Commentary made a good point by saying that Batista wanted to hurt Shawn rather than beat him, and that is exactly how this went. Batista destroyed Shawn in the end here and of course Shawn knows EXACTLY how to sell that. It was a heck of a beating near the end, though Shawn was putting in a rather awesome fight until they got there. Jericho’s part will probably be brought up later, but here it was just a little weird. Either way, best match of the night so far here.

We recap Randy Orton vs. HHH for the Raw World Title, which is about Orton wanting to get the title back after losing a few times. Orton beat him to win the title in a Last Man Standing match last year so let’s do it again here.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is defending and it’s Last Man Standing. After a weapons check (Why?), we’re ready to go, with Orton sending him outside to start. HHH gets in a whip to the steps and it’s time to go into the announcers’ table. Back in and HHH rips at Orton’s face before sending him shoulder first into the post (been done too much tonight).

Orton’s shoulder is fine enough to hit a dropkick though and they head outside. HHH hammers away on the announcers’ table but Orton slugs his way out of a Pedigree attempt. The DDT onto the floor has HHH down for about eight so Orton hammers away at the head. The frustrated Orton peels the floor mat back but the RKO is blocked.

Instead Orton grabs the steps and blasts HHH in the face for a nine. Now it’s time for some choking with an electrical cord before the RKO is loaded up. HHH shoves him over the top this time and Orton lands HARD on his shoulder. Orton can be heard saying he’s broken his collarbone but he gets up anyway, allowing HHH to hit a quick sledgehammer shot to retain.

Rating: B-. Well you can only rate this one so well as the injury derailed everything they were doing. Orton was seriously hurt so there wasn’t much of a choice but to wrap it up. What we got before that was pretty good as these two can occasionally work well together, but as usual, it wasn’t exactly some classic. We won’t be seeing Orton for a good while though as that was a horrible landing.

Orton gets up and oh yeah that thing is HORRIBLE looking. Orton walks around for a bit to yell at fans and we get some replays, likely to try and kill off a few minutes.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match, with Edge vs. Undertaker in a TLC match for the vacant title. They’ve fought for the title for months but Edge can’t beat him. Instead Edge’s girlfriend/Smackdown GM Vickie Guerrero has been helping, including this time as she is giving Edge his signature match for the title.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Undertaker

For the vacant title in a TLC match and if Undertaker loses, he’s gone. Undertaker hammers away to start and hits a rather early Old School . Edge is able to send him outside though and some tables are stacked up. As usual that takes too long though and Undertaker fights back. There are now four tables stacked up 2×2 and the first ladder is set up. Undertaker would rather put it on the corner though, where Edge sends him face first into the steel.

Edge gets sent into the corner as well, allowing Undertaker to climb. They fight on the ladder but then knock each other onto a ladder in the corner. It’s Undertaker getting the better of things and kicking Edge in the face, setting up the apron legdrop, which hits raised chair. Edge bridges the ladder between the ring and the apron, which cannot end well. A chair to the head drops Undertaker and then Edge does it again for a bonus.

With Undertaker on a table, Edge dives off the announcers’ table to crush him again. Back in and Edge cuts him down with a spear, followed by Undertaker’s leg being crushed in the ladder. Two more chair shots to the head keep Undertaker down but getting another chair for some reason lets him get up.

Undertaker throws him through a ladder and to the floor, but cue the Edgeheads for the save. That doesn’t last long as Undertaker fights up again and puts them through a table each. Edge is back up again now and sends Undertaker’s knee into the barricade. With Edge climbing, Undertaker Last Rides him off the ladder and through two tables for a huge crash.

Now it’s Bam Neely and Chavo Guerrero coming in for another save so Undertaker chairs both of them down. Undertaker goes up again but this time Edge shoves it over, with Undertaker crashing through four tables at ringside (geez that’s a huge bump or him, or anyone for that matter). That’s finally enough for Edge to win the title.

Rating: B. It’s quite the spectacle, with Edge pulling out every cheating tactic he had available (which granted in a match like this means “send in the goons”) and Undertaker doing a bunch of bigger than usual spots. Other than that, it was time for Edge to get the title back, or at least beat Undertaker, as Undertaker had beaten him over and over. Now Undertaker can go away for a bit and come back looking for revenge, which is often what he does best. Good main event, but not a classic.

Vickie Guerrero walks out and celebrates with La Familia. Undertaker gets up and does the big slow exit to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a strange show in that the matches were mostly good, but they weren’t that interesting. The problem here comes down to the fact that we’ve covered almost every facet of most of these feuds and it’s time for something new. That’s the biggest problem with WWE at the moment, as the build for the last few weeks has only been so good and now it is time to move on to something else. Good show, but this really needs to be the turning point to a new set of stories.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – May 26, 2008: Pay The People Their Money?

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 26, 2008
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Attendance: 16,524
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last Raw before One Night Stand and the end of last week’s show set up a pair of huge matches for the show. Now we are getting ready for JBL vs. John Cena in a first blood match and HHH vs. Randy Orton in a last man standing match for HHH’s Raw World Title. I’m sure we’ll get some more tonight so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Memorial Day video.

Opening sequence.

Vince McMahon joins us on the Titantron to say William Regal got what he deserved last week, but are the fans getting what they deserve? They deserve appreciation, and tonight they will receive it like never before. He’s open to suggestions, including from the wrestlers. By the end of the night, fans will receive appreciation like they have never seen.

Here are HHH and Randy Orton for a face to face standoff. Orton is asked about how he beat HHH in a last man standing match before, but it was HHH’s third match of the night and Orton’s second. Orton is sick of having his accomplishments downplayed, because what matters is that he beat HHH in this very match.

HHH says the fans are laughing at Orton because he’s a censored. He isn’t laughing though, because Orton has a tendency to find a cheap way out. If Orton wants to be the best, he has to face the best over and over. Orton says HHH doesn’t thrive on competition because he either brings in his threats or just flat out eliminates him.

Like Shawn Michaels or Evolution, because HHH knows he needed to fear them. HHH says Evolution was about making Orton realize his potential but he isn’t just going to walk away. Orton promises to win and goes to leave, but HHH promises to end the Age Of Orton like it never happened. There wasn’t much left to be said about this feud so this was nothing we haven’t heard before.

Melina vs. Jillian Hall

Beth Phoenix is on commentary. Jillian jumps her to start and hits a flipping faceplant before hitting some kicks to the back. Melina fights back and elbows her in the face, setting up an Indian Deathlock for the fast tap.

Chris Jericho comes in to see Vince McMahon with an idea to appreciate the fans: a match with Shawn Michaels tonight. Deal, and we’ll make it non-title. Cryme Tyme comes in and steal some of Williams Regal’s stuff to sell.

Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly

Non-title. Rhodes dropkicks London down to start but a double dropkick puts Rhodes down for two. Holly comes in to knock Kendrick down but Rhodes misses a middle rope crossbody. It’s off to London to dropkick and hurricanrana Holly as everything breaks down. London tries to skin the cat, only to get caught in the Alabama Slam for the pin.

Rating: C. Fast paced stuff here but they only had so much time to make it work. London and Kendrick are still an entertaining team but for some reason WWE insists on sticking with Rhodes and Holly as champions. The tag division barely exists, though you would think WWE might want to go with the better of the two teams here.

Post match here is Ted DiBiase of all people. He has a special moment for us, in the form of the newest member of the Raw roster: his son Ted DiBiase! Ted Jr. says he has always wanted to become a champion and that is what he is going to do in his debut match. So Holly and Rhodes need to pay attention, because everybody has a price, but he is priceless. That’s a great line.

Roddy Piper is training Jimmy Kimmel’s Cousin Sal for his match against Santino Marella. Kimmel comes in to watch the training and isn’t sure if this is going well as Piper beats up Sal. Oddly enough this is included on Peacock, along with a recap of last week’s segment, which wasn’t on Peacock.

Mickie James suggests a contest to Vince McMahon where schools get to say why they love WWE and the winner gets a Diva For A Day. JBL comes in to say that sounds like an escort service (working for strangers you see) and suggests the ring mat, covered in John Cena’s blood on Sunday, be cut up and sold.

Some soldiers wish us Happy Memorial Day.

John Bradshaw Layfield/Umaga vs. John Cena/Jeff Hardy

Cena and JBL start things off but let’s go with Umaga instead. The FU attempt doesn’t work but Umaga misses a charge in the corner so Cena can slug away. The swinging release Rock Bottom cuts Cena off though and we take a break. Back with JBL hammering Hardy into the corner and whipping him into another one.

The abdominal stretch goes on but Hardy slips out and hits a Whisper In The Wind. That’s enough for the hot tag off to Cena and house is cleaned in a hurry. Umaga knocks Cena into Hardy for the tag but the Swanton misses. With Cena and Umaga on the floor, the Clothesline From JBL finishes Hardy off.

Rating: C+. The ending came a bit out of nowhere but it was a good enough match to get the people involved out there. Umaga vs. Hardy has been a bit forgotten amid the two main event level matches at One Night Stand so giving them a bit of exposure was a good idea. Then again JBL vs. Cena isn’t exactly thrilling and it’s more interesting to go in another direction, even for one match.

Shawn Michaels comes to see Vince McMahon and doesn’t buy Vince wanting to appreciate the audience. Vince says Shawn will have to give the devil his due. Shawn: “You would know about that wouldn’t you?”

Video on the recent tour of Mexico.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito

Carlito takes him down fast and grabs a quickly broken chinlock. The Backstabber is loaded up but Kennedy reverses into the Mic Check for the fast win.

Post match Katie Lea Burchill comes out to say some people aren’t happy with Kennedy getting rid of William Regal. Paul Burchill pops up from behind and lays Kennedy out.

Trevor Murdoch tries to sing a country version of No Chance but Vince McMahon sends him away.

One Night Stand rundown.

Video on Randy Orton vs. HHH.

More troops say hi.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title. They go to the mat a few times to start and that’s good for a standoff. Shawn sends him crashing out to the floor and we take a break. Back with Shawn fighting out of a chinlock but Jericho takes him into the corner for some stomping. Jericho’s bulldog is blocked with a shove into the corner and there’s the nipup.

The superkick is countered into a Walls attempt, which is countered into a small package for two. The second Walls attempt works far better but Shawn makes the ropes. That doesn’t work for Jericho, who takes him tot he floor and grabs the Walls again for the double countout.

Rating: B-. Jericho vs. Shawn is going to work almost every time but Jericho is teetering on the brink of a heel turn. I’m curious to see how they get to what should be Jericho as quite the villain, as they could go a few different ways to get there. I’m not sure how much we’ll get out of the Shawn vs. Batista match to get there, but they have an interesting story on the way there.

Post match Jericho grabs a chair but puts it down.

Here is Vince McMahon for the big announcement despite there not being much time left. Vince walks through the roster on the stage before talking about how everyone together. Let’s do that in four weeks with the WWE Draft. Until then, for the next four weeks, Vince is going to give away MONEY. What if he gave away a thousand dollars? Ten thousand dollars? Or even A HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS? Heck he’s a billionaire, so over the next week, he’s going to give away the sum of ONE MILLION DOLLARS. End of show.

Overall Rating: C+. They did a nice job of covering just about everything on this side of the One Night Stand card and that is the right idea. Other than that, the money thing at the end was more than a bit different, but at least they’re trying to set something up for after the pay per view. WWE certainly needs something fresh at the moment as they continue to milk another pay per view out of feuds they’ve been running for a long time. Not a bad show, but the build to Summerslam needs to start fast.

 

 

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2008 (2013 Redo): What More Could You Need?

Summerslam 2008
Date: August 17, 2008
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 15,997
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We run down the card because you might have ordered the show blind or something?

MVP vs. Jeff Hardy

MVP makes the ropes and the referee has to keep pulling Jeff out of the corner. Jeff eventually gets free and charges right into a snap belly to belly for two. MVP kicks him in the back and puts on something like a crucifix hold before rolling over into a camel clutch. Off to something like a side leg bar but MVP eventually lets it go. Jeff goes tot he apron but MVP knocks him out of the air to break up a springboard, getting two.

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy

Jeff Hardy comes out to make the save and the Hardys suplex Henry.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Punk was basically a glorified midcarder at this point but his time would come. JBL shoves Punk into the corner to start and a hard shoulder puts the champion down. Punk comes back with a flying forearm to send him to the outside and a suicide dive fires the fans up even more. Back in and a high cross body gets a one count for Punk but another shoulder block puts him down. Punk tries to go up, only to be taken down by a middle rope fall away slam for two.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Great Khali

Rating: C+. This match, while slow, was a great example of psychology in a wrestling match. HHH knew that there was only one move he could use to hurt Khali and give him a chance for the win so it was the only thing he tried for most of the match. This was HHH working around someone and it worked quite well as HHH is a very talented wrestler, which unfortunately is often forgotten.

John Cena vs. Batista

Back up immediately and Cena throws Batista to the floor in something resembling an FU before collapsing down. Back in again and Cena fires off the shoulder blocks and the ProtoBomb to set up the Shuffle. The FU is countered again and Batista kicks him in the face to put both guys down. Batista drives shoulders into the corner and catches him in the spinebuster to put Cena down. Cena backdrops out of the Batista Bomb and hits a DDT on the leg to set up the STFU. Batista FINALLY crawls over and gets a rope to shock Cena.

The Cell is lowered.

Edge vs. Undertaker

Taker counters the spear into a chokeslam for a close two and Taker is getting frustrated. The Last Ride is countered by a low blow and an Impaler gets two. Back up and Taker loads up the Last Ride again but wants it through the tables on the floor. Edge slips over the top and hits the spear for a very close two. Now the Last Ride connects but Edge gets out at two.

Rating: A. THIS is how you blow off a feud. Edge was completely destroyed at the end here with Undertaker hitting every big move he had and Edge not kicking out of them at all. These two had some great action all year long and the Cell is the best way to blow the whole thing off. Having it as a TLC match inside the Cell was fine and it made for a great main event.

Taker leaves but Edge very slowly gets up. The big man goes back inside and sets up the ladder before lifting Edge onto it. Taker throws in another ladder and climbs up next to Edge so he can throw the Canadian down through the mat. He raises his arms up and lights the hole on fire to end the show in a corny moment.

Ratings Comparison

MVP vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B

Redo: B-

Kofi Kingston/Mickie James vs. Glamarella

Original: D

Redo: D+

Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Great Khali vs. HHH

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Batista vs. John Cena

Original: A

Redo: A-

Edge vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: A-

Redo: A-

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/11/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2008-punk-as-champion-thatll-never-happen-again/

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2005 (2020 Redo): He’s Here

Summerslam 2005
Date: August 21, 2005
Location: MCI Center, Washington DC.
Attendance: 18,156
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

It’s a big show here with a card that doesn’t quite live up to the hype. We have a huge main event between Hulk Hogan and Shawn Michaels, but after that it’s kind of a downgrade with Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero with a kid (symbolically) above the ring. The World Title matches see John Cena defending against Chris Jericho and JBL challenging Batista in a No Holds Barred match. Maybe they can make it work though so let’s get to it.

Lilian Garcia sings the Star Spangled Banner.

The opening video looks at the big matches, which works a bit better. Granted that might be because it’s set to Remedy by Seether and I always liked that song. Shawn vs. Hogan gets its own section of the video, because nothing on this show comes close to it (fair enough).

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan is defending and it’s a German suplex into the Crossface to make Benoit champion in 25 seconds. Now THAT is how you wake a crowd up while giving Jordan exactly what he deserved in Honky Tonk Man style.

Vickie Guerrero comes in to see Eddie and asks him to calm down. This isn’t about Dominic because it’s all about Eddie not being able to beat Rey. Eddie wants someone to carry on the Guerrero legacy and Vickie talks about him having a heart of gold. But there’s also an evil inside of him that won’t leave Rey alone. Eddie: “So now you don’t think I can beat Rey?” Eddie throws her out and reassures himself that he’ll win.

We recap Matt Hardy vs. Edge. Lita left Matt for Edge while Matt was hurt and then he was released. Matt invaded Raw a few times to get at Edge but then he was rehired and it was just Matt Hardy again. Tonight is the big fight.

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

Hardy runs to the ring and starts the fight on the floor as it feels like Matt wants to kill him. They get inside with Matt hammering away and a loud HARDY chant. Matt grabs a rear naked choke but Edge gets to the ropes and then back outside. Back in and Edge hits a headbutt to put Matt on the ropes as the fans are all over Lita.

A spear through the ropes puts them back on the floor but Matt hammers away with right hands to the head. More right hands in the corner have Edge in trouble so he drops Matt face first onto the post to knock him silly. Even Lita looks concerned as Matt is busted open. Matt can barely stand so Edge kicks him in the head….and the referee stops it.

Rating: D+. So yeah Matt comes back, gets in a few shots, and then gets busted open for a referee stoppage in five minutes. The first minute or so felt like a war but then it was little more than a hard hitting match with one big spot. This is the kind of thing that needed to go about eighteen minutes with both of them bleeding, but that would suggest that Matt was something important, rather than just a way to get Edge over. I can go with that as Matt is Matt and Edge has been a near main eventer for a long time now, but this was a major disappointment after the setup.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Eddie can’t beat Rey and has been driven completely crazy over jealousy and his failures. Therefore, Eddie is going to try something else so he brought up that Rey’s son Dominic was really Eddie’s biological son. Eddie wanted Dominic, but a social worker said they had to settle this, so a ladder match was made instead.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

Tony Chimel: “The following contest is a ladder match for the custody of Dominic!” And that’s your most ridiculous ring introduction of all time. Dominic and the social worker are in the front row so Eddie goes over to them for a rather evil smile. Rey comes out and hugs Dominic so Eddie goes over and shakes the social worker’s hand. We’re ready to go and Eddie talks a lot of trash as they stare each other down to start.

Eddie gets in a cheap shot to knock Rey into the corner but Rey monkey flips him out to the floor. A whip sends Rey into the ladder though and he has to springboard in with a dropkick to knock Eddie off. Eddie goes to get another ladder so Rey dropkicks that one into his face, followed by a springboard seated senton to the floor. Back in and Eddie saves Rey’s climb with a sunset bomb but he can’t hold on, making it look rather messy. Eh to be fair that’s a pretty tricky spot.

Eddie hits him in the ribs and face with the ladder before sandwiching Rey between some ladders. The fans know what’s coming and are rather pleased with the slingshot hilo onto a ladder onto Rey onto another ladder. Rey gets up and uses a ladder to bridge his way up top to cut Eddie off, including a backdrop onto the bridged ladder. The crash bangs up Rey’s knee so he climbs rather slowly, allowing Eddie to dropkick the ladder out and hurt the knee even more.

Eddie reverse powerbombs him ribs first into the ladder on the top rope and there’s that evil smile again. That’s enough for another climb but Dominic comes in to shake the ladder. That just annoys Eddie so he yells at Dominic and demands a hug. Eddie: “I’m your new daddy now!” Eddie goes to hit him but Rey makes the save as Dominic is back with the social worker who let him jump the barricade and interfere in a violent match.

Rey sends him into a ladder and then 619s said ladder into Eddie’s face, only to hurt the knee again. The knee is ok enough to Drop The Dime onto a ladder onto Eddie and then load up the ladder again. Eddie climbs up the same side for an electric chair but Rey shows him how to do the sunset bomb for the huge crash. Rey goes up again and grabs the case but Eddie kicks the ladder out and pulls Rey down into a big spinebuster.

With Rey pinned under the ladder, Eddie goes up but stops to talk a lot of trash. He can’t unhook the thing anyway, allowing Rey to wiggle free and kick the ladder over. Apparently Vickie was supposed to run in there and missed the cue, explaining why Eddie couldn’t understand how a hook worked. Eddie is back up with Three Amigos, including the third onto the ladder. That means another climb but this time Vickie comes out for the save as she shoves the ladder over. Vickie pulls Eddie back so Rey can climb p and win.

Rating: B. It’s rather good with some big crashes, but the Vickie/Dominic stuff was too much and brought the match down. Rey vs. Eddie is something you can watch all day, especially if Eddie is all evil, but they could have come up with something better than a ladder match for custody papers. It was too far and became dumb rather than dramatic, which defeats a lot of the purpose.

Post match Vickie is relieved and Rey hits Eddie with a briefcase for a bonus.

Chris Jericho doesn’t like John Cena’s theme music and promises to make him as forgettable as the New Kids On The Block. He beat the Rock and Steve Austin on the same night and Cena isn’t on their level.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

For Eugene’s (Or Angle’s?) Gold Medal with no time limit and Christy Hemme is here with Eugene. Angle goes off on him to start and stomps Eugene down into the corner. Eugene comes back with a Faarooq spinebuster but Angle breaks up the People’s Elbow attempt with a hard clothesline. The fans are very pleased with this as they don’t seem all that into Eugene here.

Angle rolls the German suplexes for two and the fans are happy again. Eugene gets sent into the buckle a few times so the comeback is on, including a Rock Bottom for two. The Stunner gets the same and Eugene takes down the non-existent straps. Angle reverses the ankle lock by rolling him into the corner though and it’s the Angle Slam into the ankle lock for the win.

Rating: D. This could have been on Raw as Eugene was completely overwhelmed. The charm is long past gone now and it’s just Eugene doing Austin and Rock moves with almost nothing in between. It was just a squash anyway as Eugene is treated like the glorified jobber that he is. Angle needs to move on to something else and Eugene needs to become something else entirely.

Post match Angle stands on a chair so he can be awarded the medal again.

The Divas, in swimsuits, wash a limo with the Presidential seal on the door. The window goes down to reveal Vince McMahon. Vince: “Hey, why not?” There’s a McMahon For President bumper sticker on the limo for a bonus.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Rematch from Wrestlemania because Orton isn’t happy with his loss. It’s weird to see Undertaker come out first. Orton bails to the floor to start so Undertaker takes a second before shoving him down. A slap gets in Orton’s head a bit but he’s back up to dodge some right hands. Undertaker grabs a headlock (that’s a rare one) but Orton is right back with a hiptoss into a clothesline. That just earns him a big boot to the face and Orton is stunned in a hurry.

Undertaker goes technical with a keylock into Old School but Orton somehow understands what it means when Undertaker stands on the top while holding an arm. Old School is broken up with an armdrag back down but Undertaker LAUNCHES him into the corner to hammer away. The big boot and jumping clothesline give Undertaker two but the big boot in the corner only hits….well corner really and Orton grabs a DDT for his own two with Undertaker putting a foot across the rope.

Flashing back to his Evolution days, Orton cannonballs down onto the leg and then wraps it around the post. The leglock goes on so Undertaker punches his way to freedom, only to earn a knee drop to the ribs. Undertaker limps into the powerslam for two and it’s time to go to Texas with a spinning toehold.

That’s broken up as well and Undertaker starts kicking at Orton’s knee, earning a one off BORING chant. That doesn’t last long either as Orton is right back to the knee as the slow pace continues. Undertaker kicks him out to the floor for a ram into the steps and the apron legdrop as this isn’t exactly hitting a high gear. Old School connects back inside and it’s the Downward Spiral to Orton, who is right back with a dropkick for the double knockdown.

The RKO is blocked so they fight over a Tombstone until Orton gets two off the backbreaker. Orton goes up but Undertaker rolls through the high crossbody and grabs him by the throat. The chokeslam connects but a “fan” comes in. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. It was a struggle to get this high as there was no sense of urgency or any time until the end where either of them seemed close to going to a finish. At least the Wrestlemania match had an awesome near fall of the RKO but this was a bunch of leg work until they got to the finish. It could have worked if they had gone to a better ending but this never got into a higher gear.

And it’s Cowboy Bob Orton. You can book the rubber match already.

Some members of the Republican National Committee are here.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. John Cena. They’ve been having issues since Cena made his Raw debut on the Highlight Reel. Then they got in an argument over who was the bigger rock star, which turned into Cena’s Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff’s Vince McMahon with Jericho and Carlito as the chief lackeys. The former story was better but why do that when you can do the same thing you’ve done so many times before?

Bischoff wishes Jericho’s luck.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Cena is defending. They go nose to nose to start and a lockup doesn’t go anywhere. Jericho’s headlock is just as ineffective but he grabs a suplex to take over. There’s the spinwheel kick to drop Cena again but the springboard crossbody only lands on the floor. Back in and Cena hammers away, only to charge into a dropkick in the corner. A suplex gives Jericho two and a basement dropkick to the headsets up the chinlock.

They go outside with Jericho choking away with a cord but Cena is back with right hands. This isn’t exactly blowing the roof off the place so far. The big flying shoulder misses though and Jericho hits the running bulldog. Jericho has to bail out of the Lionsault so he tries the Walls, which is kicked out to the floor in a hurry. Cena drops the middle rope Fameasser over the ropes for two on the way back in but the FU is countered into a DDT for two. It’s time to start in on the back with a backbreaker and some elbows as the fans are loudly split.

The running crotch attack to the back only hits ropes though and they’re both down again. Cena is back up with that hard clothesline into the ProtoBomb. The Shuffle is countered into the Walls in the middle though, sending Cena on the long crawl to the ropes. Jericho pulls him back in but Cena makes the rope on the second attempt to a rather loud reaction. Cena’s back is good enough to try a super AA but Jericho slips out and grabs another suplex for another two. An argument with the referee lets Cena grab the FU to retain.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but they drew the crowd into it and it turned into a heck of a match by the end. Cena is showing some signs of brilliance in these big matches and Jericho has more than shown that he can hang with anyone so this was a benefit to both of them. Good match here as Cena is becoming a bigger and bigger star every single week.

We recap JBL vs. Batista (hometown boy) for the Smackdown World Title. JBL beat him by DQ last month so now it’s No Holds Barred. Not much more to it than that as JBL isn’t quite the believable challenger.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Batista is defending and it’s No Holds Barred. We get the JBL dollars raining from the ceiling during JBL’s entrance. The fight starts at the entrance with Batista ramming him into various things. A fire extinguisher into the face drops Batista though and JBL punches him around the barricade, only to have Batista spear him through said barricade.

They get inside for the first time with JBL kicking him in the head, followed by some whipping with a belt. Back up and Batista charges into a boot in the corner, setting up the Clothesline From JBL for two. JBL slides in the steps and this isn’t going to end well. The powerbomb off the steps is countered into a backdrop off of them and Batista hits the spinebuster. There’s the Batista Bomb but Batista doesn’t cover. Another Batista Bomb onto the steps retains the title.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but it was way better than their previous match as it didn’t go on forever, though the stipulation wasn’t exactly used. They went with the definitive ending here as Batista completely beat him, which is all it should have been. JBL was never a threat to Batista and now they can both move on to something else, with both of them going in the proper direction.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Hulk Hogan. They teamed a handful of times and then Shawn superkicked him on the Fourth of July. Shawn said he had to know and the match was made. Everything went spiraling out of control after that though, with Shawn turning it into a weird near shoot on Hogan’s career while Hogan just referenced Bret Hart and screwjobs a few times. Shawn has carried this feud on his back and it’s going to be interesting to see how they get to the big boot and legdrop.

Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels

Hogan has the big flag out for the entrance. It’s a long staredown to start before Hogan shoves him away and shows off the biceps. Hogan shoves him down a few more times and Shawn is already frustrated. A headlock works a bit better for Shawn until a shoulder sends him into a backflip through the ropes as the overselling is already strong. Back in and Shawn knees him in the ribs but gets put on top so Hogan can kick him in the ribs.

Shawn bounces as high into the air as he can for a crotching, before a ram into the buckle gives us a bump that Mr. Perfect would think is too much. A clothesline puts Shawn on the floor where he rolls backwards again, gets up and falls back down. Shawn manages a kick to the face though and starts chopping away in the corner. The slap to the face does not go well so Shawn does it again before chopping even more. A third slap earns Shawn a right hand out to the floor but they both get posted with Hogan staggering around a lot.

Shawn posts him again but still can’t put Hogan down so it’s time for some left hands to the head. Some right hands in the corner get Shawn shoved down again (make it twice), only to have him finally punch Hogan down (you don’t see that too often). Hogan is finally busted open and Shawn grabs the sleeper to follow the Randy Savage formula from Wrestlemania V. Shawn’s arm is covered in blood as Hogan suplexes his way to freedom.

The forearm into the nipup lets Shawn drop the elbow (OH YEAH indeed) but this one misses (leave it to Savage kid). Hogan slugs away but Shawn tries another forearm, which takes out the referee. The fans want Bret (fair enough after the promos building this up) but Shawn is up first and heads to the top, only to come back down for a terrible Sharpshooter (even Rock’s is better than that).

Another referee comes in and Hogan very slowly makes it to the rope. Hogan kicks him into the second referee and everyone is down again. A low blow drops Hogan and a chair to the head finally lets Shawn hit the elbow. Sweet Chin Music connects for two but Hogan kicks out, Hulks Up, punches away and finishes with the big boot and legdrop. So that’s how they got there.

Rating: B-. The match was a weird one (YOU THINK?) as Shawn was doing his over the top selling and turning it into a joke at first but then it settled into a match with a pretty simple formula that hit the high points but didn’t exactly break the mold. Hogan was the definitive winner here and Shawn hit everything he could without being able to finish Hogan off. I liked it well enough and it’s certainly a dream match, but it’s two matches in one and that’s a little distracting.

Post match Hogan poses but Shawn stops him to make everything nice. Shawn says he had to know and, as usual, wrestlers are rather forgiving about the whole situation. It’s more posing to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was all over the place with some good wrestling and action but a lot of things that felt like they should have been so much more. It’s an enjoyable show and something I’d watch again down the line, but it felt like they were going for a stacked show and as it is, it’s just pretty good. Fix some of the bigger holes and it’s a great one, but I’ll take what I can get after a build that wasn’t their best work.

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2004 (2019 Redo): THUD

Summerslam 2004
Date: August 15, 2004
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,640
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the second biggest show of the year and that could go multiple ways. Smackdown has been getting better as of late but it’s still not very good. Raw has had its moments, but with the second biggest match from the red show being HHH vs. Eugene, they’re working underneath a pretty low ceiling. Let’s get to it.

The theme is the Summer Games, giving us an Olympic themed opening. I’ve always liked these as they’re actually rather entertaining.

The opening video looks at the big matches, but Diva Dodgeball is in the middle, even before the Intercontinental Title and Smackdown World Title matches. I’m thinking no on that one.

Dudley Boys vs. Paul London/Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio

Spike recently joined his brothers and since there are no other teams on Smackdown, Kidman and London are still feuding with the Dudleys. Rey just walks out to his music, which takes a lot of the impact away. D-Von hammers on Kidman to start but gets armdragged down for his efforts. London comes in for an assisted moonsault and the dropkick gets two.

A rather hard clothesline takes London down and it’s off to Spike for some screaming stomps in the corner. Bubba comes in for the trash talking elbow drop and the villains start taking turns working on London. Straight right hands break up the comeback attempt but Bubba hits D-Von by mistake. Spike gets kicked away and that’s enough for the tag off to Mysterio.

The springboard legdrop gets two on Spike and a hurricanrana out of the corner makes things even worse. A reverse DDT plants D-Von and it’s back to Kidman for a top rope back elbow to Spike. Everything breaks down and a BK Bomb gets two on Spike. Bubba gets double dropkicked to the floor and Spike takes a Hart Attack of all things. The 619 sends Spike into the shooting star from Billy for two with D-Von making the save. Back in and Kidman walks into the 3D to give Spike the pin.

Rating: C. Well that was a dumb ending. You have Spike as Cruiserweight Champion and have him pin a Tag Team Champion to open one of the biggest shows of the year? You couldn’t have Rey pin D-Von here to let the fans feel good? This didn’t help anything other than building Spike up, which was done as well as it was going to be with the Cruiserweight Title win. Bad decision here, in a match that didn’t need to have this kind of a finish.

We recap Kane vs. Matt Hardy. Lita slept with Kane to get him to leave Matt alone, actually being stupid enough to believe it would work. As a result Lita is pregnant but still loves Matt. Therefore, she’s marrying the winner of this match. Somehow, not even the most bizarre stipulation in Summerslam history.

Kane vs. Matt Hardy

Matt goes straight at him to start and hits what I guess was a middle rope Side Effect for two. The middle rope legdrop to the back of the head gets the same and a weird looking tornado DDT (with Matt landing on his stomach) gets the third two. Kane finally hits a clothesline to take over but a Lita distraction lets Matt low bridge him to the floor.

The slingshot dive sets up a Twist of Fate for nine and probably the best chance Matt had. Lita throws in the bell and distracts the very stupid referee so Matt can clock Kane for two. Kane kicks him in the face and goes up but gets caught by Matt. That’s fine with Kane, who hits a super chokeslam for the pin and Lita’s hand.

Rating: D. Short and bad here, with Matt having less than no chance throughout. Matt has been destroyed and turned into an idiot this whole feud and Kane winning in the end was the only way it could go. Now just get to the wedding, which is destined to be the most entertaining part of this whole thing. The match was nothing that couldn’t have been done on Raw but with a nice looking ending. That’s also Matt’s last WWE match for about a year as he had a bad knee injury and was then released in April.

Randy Orton doesn’t want to hear about anyone being upset because tonight is a night for celebration. John Cena cuts him off and promises him some merch. He’s an Orton fan, but a quick fan poll seems to suggest that they don’t agree with him. And so it begins.

Booker T. vs. John Cena

Match #1 in a best of five series for Booker’s US Title. They slug it out to start with Cena hitting a clothesline for one. Cena gets in the Throwback for two so Booker crotches him on top to cut that off in a hurry. Booker throws in a You Can’t See Me and drops a knee for no cover. A jumping kick to the face cuts off Cena’s early comeback and it’s a camel clutch to keep things slow.

That’s broken up so Booker goes with a spinebuster and side slam to drop Cena again. The ax kick misses though and Cena hits his running clothesline out of the corner. That just earns him a flapjack into a Spinarooni but Cena hits a quick FU for the pin, ignoring Booker’s shoulder being way off the mat.

Rating: D+. That’s the third straight fast match here and that’s not a good thing on a show like this. They didn’t even have seven minutes here, which is the kind of match that could have been on Smackdown instead of wasting it on this show. Cena is likely losing the next two matches to put him in a hole which is fine, but I could have gone for a better start to this thing.

Eric Bischoff (“the head cracker in charge of Raw”) comes in to see Theodore Long and points out the revolving door to the Smackdown GM office. Bischoff advises him to enjoy it while it lasts but Teddy tells him to get to steppin.

Intercontinental Title: Batista vs. Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Hometown boy Edge is defending and Batista is on fire at the moment. Speaking of Batista, he knocks Edge off the apron during his entrance and we hit the Y2J chants early on. A hard elbow knocks Jericho down and a shoulder does it again. Edge comes back in with a chop block to break up the Batista Bomb though and it’s time for some Canadian violence on Batista. Snake Eyes gets Batista out of trouble but Jericho grabs his boot to slow him down a bit.

A clothesline puts Batista outside and leaves Edge alone in the ring….where he’s booed out of the building. Well that’s rather surprising. Batista gets sent face first into the steps and we’re down to Jericho vs. Edge in the ring. Edge gets the better of the fight but gets loudly booed when loading up the Edgecution. The Walls attempt gets a much better reaction, though Edge reversing into a small package isn’t as well received. Back up and Jericho pokes him in the eye, setting up the full Walls of Jericho.

The hold is pulled back into the middle until Batista finally makes a save with the clothesline. Edge takes Batista down with an Edgecution for two as Jericho is banged up on the floor. The spear is loaded up but for some reason Jericho cuts Edge down on the way to Batista. A spinebuster gives Batista two on Jericho but this time it’s Edge sending the big man outside. That gives us another battle of the Canadians and another loud Y2J chant. Batista gets dropkicked off the apron but the distraction lets Edge spear Jericho down to retain.

Rating: D+. The odd crowd reactions threw things off here, though they’re not quite as out there as you might think when you remember Edge teasing a heel turn as of late. Now that being said, you would think the hometown deal would be enough to overcome the recent cheating but that wasn’t the case here. On top of that, the match didn’t have a ton of heat and was a string of one on one matches instead of all three at once. Edge retaining is fine, though Batista is getting bigger and bigger every week.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle in a Wrestlemania rematch. Eddie cheated (kind of) to win at Wrestlemania in Angle’s last match for about five months. Angle is back now, though while he was on the shelf he cost Eddie the WWE Championship so Eddie is out for revenge and to prove that he can hang with Angle on an even playing field. This has been the best set up feud for the whole show and the match should be able to live up to the hype.

Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

Angle has Luther Reigns with him. Feeling out process to start as the odd fans are cheering for Angle here. Shockingly enough Angle is more than fine against Eddie on the mat so Eddie tries for the ankle. He’ll settle for a headlock instead so Angle reverses into a quick keylock. Eddie armdrags him straight into an armbar but it’s time to start the rolling German suplexes. That doesn’t work either as Eddie reverses the second into the ankle lock as the wrestling lesson continues. Angle reverses into the real thing but Eddie puts his own on at the same time. It doesn’t last long, though cool idea there.

A rope finally saves Eddie so Reigns gets in a cheap shot like a good lackey should do. That means another ankle lock before Angle finally switches gears a bit for something close to an STF. With Eddie down, Angle starts untying Eddie’s boot but the delay lets Eddie get in a kick to the face. It’s right back to Eddie’s ankle until Eddie gets in an Angle Slam of his own. Eddie makes his comeback with right hands but the ankle isn’t exactly sturdy.

It’s fine enough for the Three Amigos so Eddie goes up for the frog splash, only to get caught with the running belly to belly superplex. Angle’s Angle Slam is countered into a DDT and another frog splash attempt misses. The Angle Slam gets two so Angle rips the boot off to set up the ankle lock again.

The roll through sends Angle into the referee so Eddie hits Angle and Reigns with the boot. Of course Eddie throws the boot away and falls down instead of hitting a frog splash, which would have made more sense. Eddie hits the frog splash for two a few seconds later and yells at the referee on the kickout. That’s enough for Angle to pick the ankle and put on the grapevine to make Eddie tap.

Rating: C+. What exactly are they saving all the time for on this show? That’s the first match to break thirteen minutes and nothing else has even hit nine. There are three matches left on the card and nearly an hour and a half left in the show, but nothing has even hit fifteen minutes yet. Did Diva Dodgeball need the extra time?

Anyway, this wasn’t all that great as the first few minutes were looking like the start of a thirty minute classic but then they just jumped the stolen finishers (which is becoming a rather tired trope) and had Angle break the ankle down for the win. This was dying for another eight minutes of build towards the finish but for some reason this show has to go as fast as it can because of reasons.

We recap HHH vs. Eugene. HHH found out that Eugene was his favorite wrestler and agreed to use him to help get the World Title if HHH could eventually make Eugene want to quit. In other words, it was a story that was way more complicated than it needed to be and Eugene, who started off as a very fun, unique character has turned into the clueless putz that cost HHH the title. Therefore, HHH must destroy him to prove that he’s better than a mentally disabled person who doesn’t know how to wrestle but imitates wrestling he watched on TV as a kid. In the second biggest Raw match on Summerslam. Of course.

HHH vs. Eugene

No one is at ringside for a bit of a surprise. HHH wins an early slugout but Eugene elbows him in the face so it’s time head outside. That means a chance for HHH to hide behind Lilian Garcia, allowing him to take over again. It’s time to load up the announcers’ table but Eugene blocks a suplex to the floor. Some right hands in the corner set up a Flair Flop and HHH has a bad knee. Believe it or not, it’s a way for HHH to sucker Eugene in again and outsmart him for a cheap shot.

A backbreaker keeps Eugene in trouble as JR freaks out of the fake injury. He certainly must have loathed Bret Hart then. The fans think Eugene sucks so his comeback isn’t exactly well received. HHH offers a handshake but this time Eugene is ready for him and pulls it into a Rock Bottom. The People’s Elbow is countered with the spinebuster to a face pop as the trip into the bizarre continues. HHH chokes away and it’s back to the floor for a whip into the steps.

Back in and HHH slowly beats on him, setting up the sleeper because this match needed a sleeper. Eugene escapes and hits a backdrop, followed by a middle finger and the Stunner. That’s enough to send HHH outside for a breather though and here’s Ric Flair because HHH is actually in trouble. The big boot into the legdrop connects but Flair gets knocked off the apron. Eugene goes up top and dives into the Pedigree but spins out, setting up a Pedigree on HHH instead. Flair puts his foot on the rope so it’s just a two, earning an ejection. Cue William Regal to knock Flair cold with the brass knuckles as the Pedigree finishes Eugene.

Rating: D. Well thank goodness for that. After a few months of getting frustrated, the great and mighty HHH came back and beat the comedy act in a match at one of the biggest show of the year. All it cost Eugene was all of the good will he built up too, but at least HHH got the big win. This whole story was really stupid and a huge waste of time, which really doesn’t work when it boils down to HHH needing almost fifteen minutes to beat a comedy guy. It was just bad all around and didn’t help anyone other than HHH, who didn’t get that much out of it anyway.

And then, Diva Dodgeball with the Diva Search girls basically in swimsuits while the Raw women are in matching gear. Before the game starts, Coach tells us about some trash talk that happened after Raw went off the air. They proceed to play dodgeball, which is in no way shape or form an excuse to have good looking women in barely existing clothing running around. The Diva Search girls dominate and win. Trish yells about the refereeing and then blames Victoria, triggering a fight. This took up nearly six minutes, which is about seven minutes too long.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Undertaker

No recap for this one because the build hasn’t exactly been thrilling. JBL won the title earlier in the summer and needed an opponent so Undertaker showed up. For some reason JBL decided he wasn’t afraid of Undertaker and brought out a mini version, who Undertaker wound up beating up instead. Then JBL brought in Orlando Jordan as his Chief of Staff because he needed a designated lackey.

Undertaker knocks him to the floor early on and the beating begins, including JBL’s arm going into the steps. Back in and JBL hits a quick swinging neckbreaker before going up top for a good looking top rope shoulder. An armbar doesn’t get JBL anywhere so Undertaker pulls on the arm as well and hits Old School. Undertaker grabs an ugly triangle choke until Jordan pulls the foot under the rope.

With that not working, Undertaker hits a big boot to JBL but misses a running version in the corner to let JBL take out the knee. The leg is wrapped around the post and a Jordan distraction lets JBL smash the leg with a chair. Undertaker gets sent into the barricade so Jordan can get in a few shots before sending him inside. The fans start the Wave as the leg work continues.

The leglock goes on as JBL is smart enough to just throw on a hold and let the fans die down. It’s not exactly thrilling for the fans at home but it’s a smart idea here. Undertaker fights out and pulls JBL down into a quickly broken kneebar. They head outside again with Undertaker hitting the apron legdrop. The announcers start chanting for the Spanish table but JBL snaps the throat across the top for a breather. Again JBL takes too long going up though and it’s a superplex for two.

Jordan throws the belt in for a shot to the head and the very delayed near fall with Jordan grabbing the hand to slap the mat. Undertaker finally beats up Jordan but eats another Clothesline From JBL. With the referee still down, JBL rains down right hands in the corner which is only done to set up the Last Ride. Jordan is back in with the belt so Undertaker takes it away and hits JBL for the DQ.

Rating: D. The thing is, it’s not even the worst match in the world. It felt like it was straight out of the HHH/Ric Flair Greatest Hits playbook with Jordan being the worst Flair impersonator of all time. The leg work was fine and JBL still wasn’t horrible yet, but the ending was pretty lame with Jordan being pathetic and JBL’s finisher not being able to do much damage. It’s not so much horrible or even bad as much as it is uninteresting and uninspired, which made for a very long seventeen minutes.

Post match the beatdown continues with the bloody JBL being chokeslammed through the roof of the limo. JBL does a stretcher job, guaranteeing a rematch. Of note: at some point during the match, a fan tried to climb onto the limo and security kept him from not only, you know, climbing onto the limo but also breaking the roof and injuring himself/ruining the spot.

Cole shows us a replay and tells us to listen. There’s no sound.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging after winning a battle royal and pinning Benoit in a tag match. Here’s your exchange that would never happen today: Lawler: “Hey JR you got a camera on you?” JR, dripping with sarcasm: “Yeah right here in my pocket.” The fans are all over Earl Hebner with the YOU SCREWED BRET chants as they stare each other down at the bell. Benoit drives him into the corner and takes Orton down for a rather early chinlock. A test of strength goes to Orton but he misses a knee drop.

Benoit is right back with the armbar and armdrags him down into another armbar. That’s reversed as well with Orton grabbing a Sharpshooter of his own. Benoit slips out of that and tries a Crossface, sending Orton to the floor where he posts Benoit to really take over. A second posting keeps the champ down and Orton drapes him over the top rope for good measure.

Something like a DDT on the apron gets Benoit out of trouble but he misses a dive through the ropes, sending himself HARD into the barricade. Back in and Orton hits the over the shoulder neckbreaker for two, followed by the chinlock. Benoit fights up for stereo crossbodies but gets up first for a northern lights suplex. A release German suplex has Orton in more trouble and the Sharpshooter goes on.

That’s good for two arm drops until Orton makes the rope so they’re both exhausted. Some rolling German suplexes put Orton down again but he gets his feet up to block the Swan Dive (FREAKING OW MAN!). The cover is countered into a Crossface but Orton rolls out. Back up and Benoit tries it again but Orton spins him around into the RKO for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. It’s not a masterpiece but it was a good, long, well put together match with a completely clean ending that made Orton look like the better man. The new heel on top is long overdue and it’s nice to see Orton, who has gotten a lot better in a hurry, win the title here. Benoit’s title reign was very respectable and he beat HHH a few times, which is about as good as you’re going to get. It’s a rather good main event, though not exactly a classic.

Post match Benoit gets back in and shakes his hand, demanding that Orton be a man. Orton shakes his hand and Benoit leaves in peace, allowing Orton to pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is two different halves and it’s as noticeable as you’re ever going to see. The first four matches are all short and need more time while the remaining four, as in the big matches, either fail to live up to the hype or just aren’t very good in the first place. This show needed to be reshuffled a bit with some extra time being given to a few other matches. Stuff like Diva Dodgeball and the opener could have been cut to give the time to other matches. It would have done the show a lot of good, but there was only so much this show could do.

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