Smackdown – October 3, 2008: That’s A New One

Smackdown
Date: October 3, 2008
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz

It’s the last show before No Mercy, but more importantly, it’s the first episode of Smackdown on MyNetworkTV. This should be especially interesting as to the best of my knowledge, I didn’t have the network when this originally aired, so I’ve actually never seen these shows. We also have to get ready for the pay per view, which means we have a triple threat between the World Champions. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Batista/Jeff Hardy/Rey Mysterio/Finlay vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/MVP/Kane/The Brian Kendrick

Hornswoggle and Ezekiel Jackson are here too. During the entrances, the Hurricane pops in to say we should get our money back on MVP’s huge salary. Finlay and Kendrick start things off with Finlay driving him into the corner and handing it off to Batista, who gets quite the positive reaction. The shoulders in the corner have Kendrick in more trouble and it’s back to Finlay, who rams him into the apron. Kendrick gets tied up in the ring skirt and Hornswoggle dives on MVP to prevent a save.

We take a break and come back with Mysterio hitting a heck of a kick to Kendrick’s head, setting up the sliding legdrop. Hardy comes in with a top rope shot to the arm but Kendrick manages a dropkick to cut Finlay off. Hornswoggle steals Kendrick’s jacket so Jackson jumps Finlay, allowing JBL to come in. The villains start taking turns beating on Finlay, including MVP’s cravate and knee drop for two.

Finlay can’t quite fight back against JBL, who boots him in the face for two as we flash back to Wrestlemania (commentary doesn’t point that out, missing quite the advertising plug, even if the Wrestlemania special had already aired). A shot to the face finally gets Finlay out of trouble and Batista comes in to start wrecking people. Kane’s chokeslam is broken up and it’s a spinebuster to MVP. Kendrick breaks up the Batista Bomb but gets backdropped for his efforts. Mysterio’s splash off of Batista’s shoulders hits MVP but Kane saves Kendrick and MVP from a double 619.

We take another break and come back with Kane hitting a basement dropkick for two on Mysterio, followed by the chinlock. It’s back to Kendrick for a crossarm choke before JBL’s fall away slam gets one, with Batista making the save. Kendrick’s top rope stomp to the head gets two but Mysterio manages to get over for the much needed tag to Hardy. Everything breaks down and Kane gets dropkicked out to the floor, leaving Mysterio to 619 MVP. The Swanton gives Hardy the pin.

Rating: B-. Well it certainly got time and that helped a lot. The good thing about a match like this is it allows you to have a variety of people out there rather than having things limited to just a few options. Finlay and Mysterio took a beating and then Hardy got the win. That’s about all it needed to be and it went fine as a way to showcase a bunch of people to the new audience.

Long video on Undertaker vs. Big Show. It’s still not interesting.

Mike Adamle, Tiffany and Teddy Long are in the back when Big Show comes in to ask why they’re in Vickie Guerrero’s (not here) office. They’re here to represent Raw or possibly help run Smackdown, but Show throws them out. Chavo Guerrero comes in to say he’s worried about Undertaker but Show tells him to shut up. They argue over who should be in charge tonight, with Show saying either do as he says, or they’ll have a match against each other. Guerrero realizes that Show is in charge.

Santino Marella vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title and Beth Phoenix is here with Marella. Hurricane pops in to say Honky Tonk Man would be rolling over in his grave if….and then Hurricane realizes Honky Tonk Man isn’t dead. Marella explains the Honk-A-Meter and that he’s the champion of the whole world rather than just the United States, thereby making him better. Benjamin’s response is that he isn’t impressed. Benjamin wastes no time in kicking Marella in the face and adding a knee to the leg for a fast start. Paydirt hits…but here is R-Truth rapping through the crowd. The easily distracted Benjamin gets powerbombed off the middle rope to give Marella the pin.

Post match R-Truth asks What’s Up as Benjamin seethes.

Here is Big Show for a chat. He tells Vickie Guerrero that he’s got everything under control so sit back and watch Chavo Guerrero have a special match.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Great Khali/Mark Henry

A lot of slamming ensues, followed by Khali grabbing the Vice Grip for the total destruction in less than two minutes. It’s exactly what you would have expected.

Post match Show knocks Guerrero out with the big right hand. Show says he can do that to Undertaker just as easily and there’s the gong. Undertaker is in the ring and Show isn’t, meaning we get to wait even longer to see this.

Colons vs. Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase

Before the match, Carlito says this was going to be a two on two match but Manu would be standing out there like an idiot so let’s make it a six man.

CM Punk/Colons vs. Cody Rhodes/Manu/Ted DiBiase

Primo rolls DiBiase up for a fast two and the Colons dropkick DiBiase and Rhodes out to the floor. Manu low bridges Carlito to the floor though and Rhodes sends him into the barricade to take over. Manu’s running headbutt sets up a middle rope stomp to give DiBiase two. The chinlock doesn’t last long and it’s back to Primo, who is quickly taken into the wrong corner. The crossface chickenwing works a bit better for Rhodes but he misses a dropkick, allowing Punk to come in. A high kick drops DiBiase and there’s the running knee/bulldog for two as everything breaks down. Carlito dives onto Manu and the GTS finishes DiBiase.

Rating: C+. Punk brought some charisma here and it helps to have him help boost up the new champions. Rhodes and DiBiase are associated with Randy Orton and Punk wants to get his hands on him so beating up the lackeys isn’t a bad way to go. The Colons get something out of it as well so this was a nice mixture.

Beth Phoenix vs. Michelle McCool

Non-title lumberjack match. Phoenix grabs a front facelock to start and a wheelbarrow rollup is countered. A suplex drops Michelle again and we hit the Argentinean backbreaker. McCool kicks off the rope to escape and gets two off a rollup. A boot to the chest gives McCool two more and Phoenix is sent outside. The lumberjacks don’t do anything so McCool goes after her and gets beaten down. Back in and McCool tries to go up but gets caught by Maryse, allowing the Glam Slam to finish for Phoenix.

Rating: C. This was a good example of the problem with these matches, as there almost has to be some interference to protect the losing champion. In this case it was Maryse interfering, though there wasn’t much of a reason for this to be a lumberjack outside of setting it up. Phoenix continues to be ahead of everyone else in the division, though McCool didn’t do badly at all.

Video on Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho.

No Mercy rundown.

Matt Hardy vs. HHH vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title. Jericho gets double teamed to start, with a suplex sending him down for a knee drop from HHH. Hardy sends him shoulder first into the post but HHH gives Hardy a DDT. Jericho is back up so HHH gives him a suplex for two, only to get hit with a clothesline. Back up and HHH hits his jumping knee on Jericho but gets pulled down by Hardy. A double triangle dropkick puts Hardy and HHH down on the floor as we take a break.

We come back with Jericho in control but HHH cuts him off with the spinebuster. The Pedigree is loaded up but Jericho catapults HHH into the corner, crotching Hardy on top in the process. The ensuing superplex is countered into a Tower Of Doom though and everyone is down.

Back up and Jericho misses the Lionsault, with HHH sending him into Hardy. That lets Jericho grab the Walls so Hardy makes a save, with a small package getting two. Jericho’s bulldog is broken up but Hardy gives him one of his own for another near fall. The Side Effect drops Jericho but HHH is back in with a Pedigree to pin Hardy.

Rating: B-. You could pretty much pencil in Hardy as the one taking the fall and since this is HHH’s show, the end result wasn’t exactly in doubt. The match was decent enough and everyone at least got in some, but it never got to some really good level. It’s a nice concept, though with ECW as a distant third brand, Hardy was little more than a sacrificial lamb.

Post match Jericho jumps both of them and brings in a ladder but Jeff Hardy runs in for the save. HHH goes after Jeff and gets taken down by a Twist Of Fate. Vladimir Kozlov comes in and lays out the good guys to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Well, it was an idea. The problem is I’m not sure how well it actually worked. The big Smackdown match for No Mercy, HHH vs. Jeff Hardy, barely got any focus save for the last two minutes for the show, where it was overshadowed by Vladimir Kozlov. Other than that, Big Show vs. Undertaker is hardly interesting and hasn’t been since it started. I did like the opener and main event, though that was more due to the people involved and a lot of them were guest stars. It’s not a terrible show, but this isn’t something that can be done every week and that’s a problem.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – September 29, 2008: The Weaker Half

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 29, 2008
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last Raw before No Mercy and hopefully that means a lot more from Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels. The two of them have done some great stuff lately and are carrying the show on their backs. That’s about all there is going on around here and that can make for a tedious watch. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Batista vs. Santino Marella

Non-title and Beth Phoenix is here with Marella. Before the match, Marella wants the Honk-A-Meter, which shows that he’s 58 weeks behind Honky Tonk Man’s record. He also has the Brain Barometer, which shows he has ten trillion brain cells compared to Batista’s 12. Shoulders in the corner, spinebuster, Batista Bomb finish in less than a minute.

Post match Batista yells at Phoenix but JBL runs in to give him the Clothesline.

Shawn Michaels, who is teaming with a mystery partner tonight, says Chris Jericho has six days left to be World Heavyweight Champion. As for tonight, how about he teams up with a Real American? A Texas Rattlesnake? Or the Best There Is, The Best There Was And The Best There Ever Will Be? Ok Michaels knows that last one is too far so he’ll settle for someone who likes him.

Miz vs. JTG

Their respective partners are here too. After a quick look at the Dirt Sheet, which featured an interview with Cryme Tyme’s “parents”, Miz drives JTG into the corner to start but gets cut off by a flying shoulder. An uppercut staggers Miz again but he’s back with the running corner clothesline. A regular clothesline drops JTG again, though he’s right back with a jumping over the back Fameasser for two. John Morrison offers a distraction so Shad Gaspard cuts him off, which allows Miz to grab the Reality Check for the pin.

Rating: C. Miz is at the point where he just needs reps, as he’s so young in his career. The good thing is that you can see the development coming along each week, as he’s having competent matches. That’s a long way to come in such a short amount of time and his chemistry with Morrison makes it even better.

Jamie Noble goes up to Jillian Hall and insults her singing before asking “sweet cheeks” to be his partner tonight. She sings a no but gets to meet Dolph Ziggler, who doesn’t impress her.

Paul Burchill/Katie Lea vs. Jamie Noble/???

William Regal and Layla come out to watch and Noble actually has a partner in the form of….Mickie James. Yeah that works. Burchill hammers Noble down to start and hands it off to Katie, who can beat on Noble as well as this is an intergender match. That doesn’t last long as James comes in and gets caught with a double arm crank. James fights up just as quickly and hands it back to Noble, who shouts at Regal before missile dropkicking Burchill. A cross armbreaker gives Noble the fast submission.

Rating: C. The ending was a nice surprise as Noble seems to be turning to the good side. Granted he needs to work on his ability to speak to others but at least the stuff in the ring is working. The cross armbreaker is a good addition, as it certainly looks devastating enough. I can’t imagine he survives the showdown with Regal, but at least Noble is doing something well.

Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase and Manu find Kane (their partner tonight), with Rhodes saying that since Kane is Paul Bearer’s son, he’s basically a second generation star. That means they can work together, but Kane would rather massacre Rey Mysterio no matter who is on his side. Stay out of his way or he’ll end all of them.

We look back at last week, when Lance Cade beat Shawn Michaels, albeit thanks to a Chris Jericho distraction.

Here is Cade to brag about his win and say that Jericho is just better than Michaels. He doesn’t care who Michaels has as a partner tonight either.

Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase/Manu/Kane vs. CM Punk/Kofi Kingston/Rey Mysterio/Evan Bourne

Manu elbows Bourne in the face to start but Bourne slips out of a suplex attempt and brings in Mysterio. Everything breaks down early, with Punk and Kingston hitting stereo dives, followed by another dive from Mysterio as we take an early break. We come back with Bourne fighting out of Rhodes’ chinlock but Manu is in to keep Bourne down. That doesn’t last long though as Bourne is up for the tag off to Punk, who comes in with a clothesline.

Rhodes takes him down to start in on the knee though, with Kane coming in to just stomp on him. DiBiase, who seems to get the idea of a game plan, is back on the leg, followed by Rhodes doing the same. Kane comes in and gets enziguried but boots Mysterio off the apron. It doesn’t make much of a difference though as it’s Kingston getting the tag to start cleaning house. Kingston dives at Kane though and gets caught in the chokeslam for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty basic match here but it’s nice to see Kane going into monster mode to win in the end. He knows how to do that style well enough and Kingston is expendable enough to take a loss. That’s the point in putting so many people in this match as it gave them some options for taking the fall and it went well enough.

Here is Mike Adamle for a chat. Earlier tonight, Kane requested something from him and since he won, he gets his request: if Kane wins at No Mercy, Rey Mysterio will have to unmask. This brings out Randy Orton of all people to interrupt and he mocks Adamle for being Shane McMahon’s lackey. Adamle needs to re-suspend CM Punk right now because the reality is Adamle needs Orton on his side. He’s going to wreck everyone when he gets back but here is JBL to interrupt.

JBL complains about losing money on his stock market this week but he has a lot to lose. Then he’ll become #1 contender at No Mercy and move on to win the World Title. Orton is always living in the past because he’s the hottest commodity since ethanol. Cue Batista behind JBL, who realizes what’s waiting on him and turns around to eat the spear (well that was dumb). Batista promises to make JBL’s week worse at No Mercy.

Santino Marella is on the phone and gets nervous when he runs into Beth Phoenix. Apparently it was a sick kid named uh, Frankie! Phoenix doesn’t want him out there with her this week because she’s bad luck. Marella says it’s a good thing he doesn’t have a Moolah Meter, because Phoenix is trailing Moolah by about twenty two years. Phoenix is annoyed and leaves, with Marella thinking it was a “female problem”.

Kelly Kelly/Candice Michelle vs. Beth Phoenix/Jillian Hall

Phoenix and Michelle start things off but Kelly quickly comes in for a double dropkick. It’s off to Hall, who manages to pull Michelle face first down in the corner. Phoenix’s backbreaker gets two and we hit the chinlock for a bit. Hall comes back in and takes too long cartwheeling, allowing Michelle to get her boots up in the corner. It’s back to Kelly for the screaming headscissors as everything breaks down. Kelly’s rollup (how she won last week) is countered into the Glam Slam for the dominant pin.

Rating: C+. They did well enough here as you can tell the women are working hard to improve. It’s still not exactly great, but they’re looking confident in the stuff they’re doing. Phoenix is of course still miles ahead of the other three, but at least she’s getting something a bit better to work with over time. Nice quick match here.

Deuce vs. Great Charli

Runjin Singh is here with Charli, who yells in some mock Punjab about the greatness of…curry. Charli tells Deuce to come at him but the chop doesn’t do much. Instead Deuce knocks him down but dives into a raised boot. Charlie’s wig comes off and a top rope clothesline finishes Deuce quick.

Post match the real Great Khali comes out to wreck Charli.

We hype up the Smackdown move to MyNetworkTV.

No Mercy rundown.

Chris Jericho/Lance Cade vs. Shawn Michaels/???

Before the reveal, Jericho complains about being wished good luck in his match against Michaels at No Mercy because he’s better than Michaels could ever be. We hear about various things Jericho plans on doing to Michaels with the ladder, with Cade using a ladder to demonstrate. After a break, the partner is….HHH. Well who else was it going to be? Funny bit as Michaels runs to the back and comes back out in a DX shirt and hat because he knows his merchandise.

HHH and Jericho start things off with Jericho getting taken down, meaning it’s already off to Cade. That’s fine with HHH, who takes him down in a hurry, allowing the tag to Michaels to go after Jericho. Michaels gets caught in the wrong corner though and Jericho pulls him down into a chinlock. With that not getting him anywhere, Jericho tries and misses the Lionsault, allowing the double tags to HHH and Cade. The spinebuster puts Cade down but Jericho is in with the Codebreaker to HHH. Jericho and Cade beat on Michaels so much that it’s a DQ.

Rating: C+. Well it was going to be this or Cade losing so they didn’t have a ton of options. It’s not like HHH or one of the World Title participants are going to lose less than a week before the pay per view. At least they didn’t let this go long, as there wasn’t much of a point to doing anything beyond what they did here.

Post match Jericho grabs the ladder but HHH is back in with the sledgehammer to Cade so Michaels can splash him off the ladder. DX stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was about getting ready for No Mercy, which, at least on the Raw side, is a one match show. Does anyone really care about Batista vs. JBL for a future title shot? Or pretty much anything else that Raw is offering? There isn’t much you can do to build towards a one match half show but they managed to make it work well enough here. Not a great show, but Jericho and Michaels should be great.

 

 

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Backlash 2008 (2025 Edition): Sequels Can Be Good!

Backlash 2008
Date: April 27, 2008
Location: 1st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 11,277
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Mick Foley, Tazz, Mike Adamle

It’s the show after Wrestlemania XXIV and that means it’s time to see where things have gone since the biggest show of the year. That should make for a good night, with Randy Orton defending the Raw World Title in a four way. That’s the kind of match that could go in a few directions but hopefully it lives up to what should be a safe amount of hype. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Wrestlemania and everything that has happened since then. Beware the Backlash. That might not be the best tagline, as you probably shouldn’t be scared of the show you’re about to watch.

Commentary welcomes us to the show, including the debuting Mick Foley.

US Title: MVP vs. Matt Hardy

Hardy is challenging after a LONG story between the two, which involved a pizza eating concept. MVP dives after the leg to start fast but Hardy is right back with the threat of a right hand to send MVP outside. Back in and a hiptoss gives Hardy two, followed by an elbow drop for two (with commentary pointing out that it’s more about wearing MVP down than trying to get a win, which makes sense).

Hardy’s headlock doesn’t get him very far so he goes with a middle rope elbow to the back of the head for two instead. MVP hits him in the back though and grabs a belly to back suplex for two. Hardy is able to knock him off the top but a moonsault hits raised knees. A seated abdominal stretch has Hardy in more trouble and MVP pulls him down by the hair for a bonus.

The regular abdominal stretch (naturally holding the rope) stays on Hardy’s ribs, as do a series of elbow drops. A fireman’s carry faceplant only seems to wake Hardy up as he hits a clothesline. The Playmaker is countered into a Side Effect but MVP is able to crotch him on top. MVP goes up with him, with Hardy grabbing a super Side Effect for a delayed two. Back up and MVP catches him in the corner, followed by the running big boot to send Hardy outside. Hardy beats the count so MVP goes back to the ribs. The big boot in the corner misses though and Hardy grabs the Twist Of Fate for the pin at 11:26.

Rating: B. This was the culmination of a long story and what matters the most is that Hardy got the win, just as he should have. The whole point of the thing was that they finally had to have a match where Hardy got the belt. It worked well and was a good match on top of the story, so nice job all around.

Post ads, Matt Hardy talks about how this is the biggest win of his career because he worked so hard to get here. Now, all that matters is that he’s better than MVP.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

Guerrero, with Bam Neely, is challenging after losing the title to Kane in eight seconds at Wrestlemania. Kane wastes no time in taking him into the corner for the big right hands. A basement dropkick connects but bangs up Kane’s recently tweaked (by Guerrero and company) knee. The knee is fine enough for a charge into the corner but Guerrero sends him face first into the buckle.

Guerrero hammers away and is quickly tossed outside in a heap. Kane sends him into the apron but the top rope clothesline is broken up, with Kane hurting his knee again. The knee is wrapped around the post, which the referee doesn’t seem to mind. Granted he doesn’t see it when Neely does it as well, though I can’t imagine he would approve. Guerrero goes up but gets caught in an electric chair for a heck of a crash to leave them both down.

Back up and one heck of a big boot drops Guerrero, followed by the side slam for two. Now the top rope clothesline (almost a top rope punch) drops Guerrero again but he manages a much needed tornado DDT for two of his own. Guerrero goes after the knee again and the frog splash connects…with Kane catching him by the throat for the chokeslam to retain at 8:49.

Rating: C+. They were working through quite the problem here, as there is only so much you can do with these two. It’s hard to imagine that Guerrero is going to be a major threat to Kane and since Neely was pretty much useless, there wasn’t much that Guerrero could do. Kane wins a straight up match despite having his knee injury and that should move him on towards someone new, as Guerrero has been vanquished.

Sidenote: dang Kane’s theme song was awesome.

Randy Orton knows the rules of the main event and says the Age Of Orton is a reality. Tonight’s reality will be the same when he walks out as the champion.

We get a tale of the tape of Big Show vs. Great Khali. Foley: “Cole what size shoe do you wear?” Cole: “Nine.” Foley: “That’s smaller than the shoe print of the shoes Coach left for me to fill!”

Great Khali vs. Big Show

The cameraman is smart enough to shoot up at them to make the staredown look even bigger. They shove each other to start and then slug it out with Show getting a slight advantage. Some headbutts rock Khali but he’s back with a clothesline to put Show down for the first time. Khali knocks him outside with another clothesline, followed by a boot to the head back inside. Something close to a crossface has Show in trouble and Cole can never remember him tapping out. Well…..other than probably to Cena, he might not have.

Show fights up but can’t get a slam as Khali falls down on top of him. That means a nerve hold (no, you don’t have to ask Khali twice for that one) for a bit, followed by Khali’s big chop for two. Show fights up and now the slam connects for two. Khali knocks him against the rope and tries a chokebomb but Show powers out and hits the chokeslam for the win at 8:06.

Rating: C-. This was never going to be some kind of a mat classic, but at the same time, it also wasn’t a terrible match. Instead it was more just slow and plodding than anything else. The match existed for the sake of having two giants go at it and do their big person stuff. That worked well enough, though it could have been a few minutes shorter.

John Cena talks country music with Jimmy Wang Yang when Randy Orton interrupts. Orton promises that Cena will lose tonight and go home disappointed, just like at Wrestlemania. Cena promises to leave Orton a broken man.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Batista. Michaels retired Ric Flair at Wrestlemania and Batista is unhappy, with Michaels giving the logical response: he gave his best, just like Flair wanted him to. Batista was upset at Michaels for getting rid of Flair because Flair has to be the big focal point. At the same time you have special referee Chris Jericho, who is stirring up some issues, even accusing Michaels of wanting to get rid of Flair.

Shawn Michaels vs. Batista

Chris Jericho is guest referee. JR: “This match has global significance.” Nice try but….come on. Batista misses a shot in the corner and gets punched in the face but the threat of a Batista Bomb sends Michaels scurrying. Back in and Michaels starts kicking at the legs but has to duck a clothesline in the corner. Another ducking doesn’t go so well and Batista gets to stomp away, only for Michaels to use a Ric Flair chop block.

A short armscissors goes on and Michaels cranks away for a good while until Batista does the standard standing counter. Instead of slamming Michaels down though, they crash over the top and out to the floor in quite the heap. Michaels sends the banged up arm into the post and a hammerlock goes on back inside. Batista gets to the rope so Michaels is right back to the bad arm.

An armbar over the ropes keeps Batista in trouble, followed by something close to a Kimura. A Samoan drop breaks Batista out this time and he whips Michaels upside down in the corner. The big running clothesline turns Michaels inside out but he’s able to reverse a Batista Bomb into the crossface. Michaels is smart enough to take him back into the middle of the ring but Batista finally makes the rope. Jericho has to physically break the hold and that is not cool with the fans.

A side slam gives Batista two and Michaels nips up, only to get speared down for two more in a nice sequence. Michaels is able to knock him out of the air and hit the big elbow and Batista is in trouble again. The superkick is countered with a spinebuster and the Batista Bomb is loaded up…but Michaels hurts his knee on the counter. Batista is backed away but goes after Michaels anyway, walking right into the superkick to give Michaels the pin at 15:00.

Rating: B. This was a well put together, logical match as Michaels broke down the machine just enough to stay alive until the ending. The idea here was that Batista wanted to destroy Michaels to get revenge but Michaels is just a better wrestler and knew how to pick him apart by being patient. Well that and then cheating in the end, which is a rather Michaels/Flair thing to do. Michaels throwing in quite a few Flair bits made it even better, though this was just the start of a VERY long story, which would get a lot better. Jericho was only so much of a factor here, but that would change rather soon.

Post match Michaels needs Jericho and another referee to help him out.

Randy Orton comes in to see HHH, who will NOT succeed tonight. HHH says pride comes before the fall.

Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian/Victoria/Natalya/Layla vs. Ashley Massaro/Cherry/Kelly Kelly/Maria/Michelle McCool/Mickie James

Get them all on the card match. Phoenix shoves McCool down to start and blocks a belly to belly suplex attempt. Melina comes in for a faceplant into a Last Chancery before throwing her down again. McCool manages a basement dropkick and brings the screaming Melina to the corner for the tag off to James. A hurricanrana out of the corner drops Melina, as does a running clothesline. Natalya (in her pay per view debut) comes in and gets neckbreakered down for two as we go over her family tree.

Cherry is knocked off the apron before Victoria comes in for the dancing moonsault. Natalya gets pulled off the apron by Cherry and it’s time for the big brawl at ringside. We settle down to Massaro hurricanranaing Jillian for two before Phoenix comes in for a chinlock. The double chicken wing is broken up and James comes in with a tornado DDT. Victoria drops James with the Widow’s Peak and it’s time for the parade of knockdowns. Phoenix fisherman’s busters Massaro for the pin at 6:30.

Rating: D+. As is so often the case with a match like this, what are they supposed to do? They have about six and a half minutes for twelve women to get in there and do something. You can only get so far with that kind of a situation, especially when Phoenix is the focal point of one of the teams. In other words, cut down the lineup by about half and it’s a lot better.

We recap Edge vs. the Undertaker for the Smackdown World Title. Undertaker took the title from Edge in the main event of Wrestlemania and Edge wants it back. Therefore, he went to a spa with Vickie Guerrero and is promising to get the title back for her. In other words, it’s a pretty basic rematch.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Edge

Undertaker is defending and dang that Big Gold Belt looks perfect on him. We get the Big Match Intros and Undertaker mouths “I’m going to hurt you”, which has Foley going through some flashbacks. Edge gets shoved to the floor to start and it’s already time for a breather. A shoulder drops Edge again and Undertaker slugs away in the corner. Edge tries to fight back and he is promptly launched into the corner for the right hands.

Undertaker starts in on the arm, which is sent into the corner to keep Edge in trouble. They head outside with Edge’s back being sent into various hard object, including Snake Eyes onto the steps. The boot to the head has Edge in more trouble and there’s the apron legdrop. That seems to damage Undertaker’s back though and Edge grabs a bodyscissors to hold him down. Undertaker’s solution, as tends to be his custom, is to punch Edge in the face but Edge is right back on the back.

A baseball slide to said back puts him on the floor and it’s a camel clutch back inside. Undertaker powers up but falls right back down, thankfully sending them to the ropes. Edge tries it again so Undertaker just drops down onto him, which is as effective as you would expect. They trade shots to the face until Undertaker punches him down, followed by Snake Eyes. The big boot and elbow get two but Old School is broken up. Edge goes up but is smart enough to avoid a super Last Ride.

Undertaker slams him down anyway, only to go up (oh dear) and miss a not great looking top rope elbow. Edge goes up again and gets chokeslammed back down for quite the crash. Back up and Edge manages to get a turnbuckle pad off and ram the bad back into the buckle…so here is Curt Hawkins with a belt shot to make it worse. The spear is countered into a DDT so here is Zack Ryder, who is knocked off the apron just as fast. The yet to be named Hell’s Gate retains the title at 18:25.

Rating: B. All of the cheating at the end brought it down a bit as there was only so much to be gained from Edge’s usual bag of tricks. At the same time, it didn’t have quite the same amount of drama as their Wrestlemania classic. As it is, it’s just good, which is still a solid result, even if it’s kind of a letdown. In other words, the first match was excellent and this one not so much.

Post match Undertaker won’t let go until Vickie Guerrero is wheeled out. Undertaker finally lets go and Edge has to be taken out on a stretcher. This would result in Vickie stripping Undertaker of the title the next week on Smackdown.

Randy Orton goes to JBL’s dressing room but runs into Mr. Money In The Bank, CM Punk, who wishes him good luck tonight.

We recap the Raw World Title, which is about Randy Orton trying to convince us that we’re in the Age Of Orton, which isn’t exactly clicking. Tonight, he’s facing three challengers in an attempt to make him feel more like a big deal.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. John Bradshaw Layfield vs. HHH vs. John Cena

Orton is defending under elimination rules and charges at JBL to start. JBL tries to hammer away but Cena is right back to knock him down. HHH sends Cena outside and Orton is whipped into him for a crash into the announcers’ table. Back in and the villains beat up HHH but he double clotheslines his way out of trouble. HHH sends JBL outside and into the steps but the Pedigree is broken up.

Cena is back in to take over on Orton and the fans are NOT pleased. The top rope Fameasser connects and the STFU goes on, with JBL…realizing that making a save would be kind of dumb so HHH grabs a crossface on JBL instead. Orton goes to the eye to break out and then yells at JBL, only for Cena to knock Orton into him for the break.

Orton actually goes up top and since it’s not 2004, he gets crotched right back down, setting up a Tower Of Doom for two each on Orton and JBL. The release fisherman’s suplex gives Cena two on HHH, who spinebusters him right back. HHH avoids an FU so Cena gives it to JBL instead. The STFU gets rid of JBL at 10:30.

Orton immediately Punts Cena though and we’re down to two at 10:42. So it’s HHH vs. Orton and they stare each other down until HHH grabs a suplex. The knee drop gets two and Orton is tossed outside for the required brawling. HHH is sent into the steps and a catapult sends him over the barricade in a big crash.

Back in and Orton slowly starts stomping away (shocking I know), including the knee drop to the back for two. The chinlock goes on for a good while until HHH fights up, only to get powerslammed back down. The RKO is shoved away though and they’re both down for a bit. They get back up and HHH’s jumping knee drops Orton again, followed by the facebuster for two.

HHH takes him outside and over the announcers’ table for the big crash. That’s not enough so Orton gets dropped onto the steps and they head back inside. The Pedigree is countered and an RKO connects but Orton can’t immediately cover. The VERY delayed cover gets two but a Punt and RKO are both blocked, setting up a Pedigree to give HHH the title back at 28:12.

Rating: B. They kind of followed the Wrestlemania 2000 main event formula here and that’s quite the odd choice as that match wasn’t exactly much to see. Cena and JBL were both knocked out in a hurry and then it was nearly twenty minutes of HHH vs. Orton. I’m fine with HHH getting the title back, but it would be better to have the match actually feel like a four way rather than a singles match with some window dressing. The action was good, but just cut out Cena and JBL if this is what you were going for here.

Overall Rating: B+. This was a solid show with the big matches delivering and only a few of them not being worthwhile. It’s a solid follow up to Wrestlemania as they’re continuing a bunch of the stories while also taking some things into another direction. I liked this more than I was expecting to and it held up on another viewing here so well done.

 

 

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 2005 (2020 Edition): Back When It Meant Something

Survivor Series 2005
Date: November 27, 2005
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s all about Raw vs. Smackdown as the big elimination tag is all that matters around here. That’s in addition to the Raw World Title match, which should be another good but not exactly thrilling showdown. I’m not sure what to expect for most of the show, but that elimination tag is the centerpiece of the show. Let’s get to it.

The opening sequence is almost all about Raw vs. Smackdown, as it should be.

Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit

Match #1 in a best of seven series for the vacant US Title. Benoit gets backed into the corner to start and it’s a surprisingly clean break. Booker slams him down but Benoit pops back up for a standoff. Some forearms puts Booker on the floor and we’re still in low first gear. They go to the mat with Benoit easily getting the better of things and cranking on the leg to limited success.

That’s enough for Booker to take another breather on the floor. Back in and Booker elbows him in the face so Benoit hits him with a running forearm. That just earns Benoit a side slam for two and the armbar goes on. Make that an abdominal stretch but Benoit fights out again and hits an elbow. Booker elbows him into the corner and gets two off a neckbreaker.

A reverse chinlock doesn’t last long so Booker goes with the jumping kick to the face instead. Benoit grabs a quick dragon screw legwhip but the Sharpshooter is countered into a small package for two. The rolling German suplexes work a bit better but Sharmell’s distraction delays the Swanton, allowing Booker to roll away. A rollup with feet on the ropes and Sharmell grabbing the leg is enough for Booker to get the pin.

Rating: B. This was better than their Smackdown match as they were able to build things up a bit better. It’s a good way to start off the show, though it’s not like these matches matter all that much until we get to what is more than likely going to be a seventh match. That sounds good in theory, but it wouldn’t surprise me to see the match get a little boring by that point.

Eric Bischoff meets with Vince McMahon in the back and talks about the history of screwjobs at Survivor Series. Tonight, Bischoff Screws Cena. Cue Cena: “So Eric Bischoff screws guys.” Bischoff leaves and Cena shakes Vince’s hand. In a legendary line, Vince: “Keep it up my n****.” Vince struts off as Booker and Sharmell look flabbergasted. I can’t believe this is uncensored on the Network.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending and this is interpromotional after Melina and MNM kidnapped Trish on Raw. Mickie James and Melina are here as well. Trish jumps her to start and sends Melina outside for the big dive onto all three of them. Back in and a hair toss sends Melina down and the headscissors does the same. Melina gets in a knee to the back and a kick to the ribs.

They trade boot chokes in the corner and but Melina goes after Mickie, leaving MNM to try the Snapshot on Trish. That’s broken up by a referee actually paying attention and the two of them are ejected. We hit a modified surfboard, which I’m sure is not just an excuse to put Trish in various positions. The Matrish is broken up with a shot to the ribs for two but the Stratusphere works just fine. Stratusfaction is broken up but Mickie saves Trish from a cheap shot to the back. A top rope bulldog retains the title.

Rating: D+. There was only so much you could do here as there is no secret to the fact that this is setting up Mickie challenging Trish for the title at some point in the future. Melina hadn’t gotten good in the ring yet so for now she’s glorified eye candy who can do a passable match. In other words, she’s a traditional Diva of the era.

We recap HHH vs. Ric Flair in a Last Man Standing match. Flair beat him last month in a cage match so now it’s about ending each other in the way WWE ends people.

HHH vs. Ric Flair

Non-title and Last Man Standing. HHH jumps him in the aisle and the beating is on in a hurry with Flair’s robe and belt being ripped off. Flair gets in a kendo stick to the ribs (Flair using a kendo stick is just wrong) and they head into the crowd with HHH managing to backdrop him back to ringside. A suplex has Flair in more trouble inside and the pace slows a bit.

They go outside again and a screwdriver to the head busts Flair open in a hurry. Back in and some kneedrops make the blood flow even more and it’s already back to the floor. HHH takes too long setting up the announcers’ table though and Flair sends him face first into the steps. A spinebuster on the floor cuts Flair off again though as this has been one hope spot after another with HHH dropping him every time. HHH grabs a microphone to yell but Flair grabs him low.

That earns him a trip into the announcers’ table but Flair backdrops him through the other one in the first really big spot of the match. HHH is up at eight so Flair takes him back inside for some chops. Some right hands put Flair down as well so he hits HHH low to even things up. A chair to the head puts HHH down and Flair bites at the head, followed by a crotching against the post.

The chop block takes HHH down again but the Figure Four is broken up. Flair doesn’t seem to mind as he wraps the knee around the post and smashes it with a chair. NOW the Figure Four can go on and Flair even grabs the rope for a bonus. HHH taps so Flair can claim a bit of a moral victory and the hold is let go. A shot to the face knocks Flair into the corner and the steps to the head give HHH five.

There’s the drop toehold to send HHH face first into the steps but he staggers up and hits a Pedigree. Flair pulls himself up so there’s a second Pedigree. He’s up again so they hit the same sequence one more time. Flair gets to his feet a third time so it’s a sledgehammer shot to the….something well hidden by a camera cut but it’s finally enough to finish Flair off.

Rating: B. It’s good but it’s nowhere near as good as the cage match. As usual, the ending didn’t work very well as they were just doing the same stuff over and over again until a big hammer shot put Flair down. Thankfully they didn’t waste a lot of time with the near falls throughout the match, which are always annoying in a match like this. It wasn’t great and it should have been shorter but it worked well enough.

Randy Orton and JBL try to fire up Team Smackdown but Batista comes in and takes care of it for them.

Here are Edge and Lita for a chat. They’re changing things up around here because they are going to have their own talk show with the Cutting Edge. With that out of the way, Edge calls out Detroit Tiger Dmitri Young, who plays for a bad team and is fat you see. Detroit sports jokes abound but Young asks about Edge’s World Title. Edge and Lita are out of here, just like Ford and GM.

We recap John Cena vs. Kurt Angle. Kurt has beaten him a few times but never for the title so now he has Daivari as his personal referee. It’s the final showdown and this should be a good one.

Raw World Title: Kurt Angle vs. John Cena

Cena is defending and Daivari is guest referee. The place goes coconuts for Cena as the star power continues to rise. Angle wastes no time in taking him down by the leg and cranks on the ankle a bit. Some shoulders put Angle on the floor and DANG the fans are into Cena. Daivari won’t let him go after Angle though and things settle down a bit. Back in and Angle stomps him down in the corner until Cena snaps off a release fisherman’s suplex.

That’s not even worthy of a count so Angle grabs the ankle lock. Cena makes the rope so Daivari kicks his hand away. With that not working, Cena kicks him away and slaps Daivari in the face. Daivari is ready for the DQ but Angle gets sent into him for the double knockdown. Angle posts Cena and another referee comes down to count two. Some suplexes give Angle some twos and we hit the waistlock. Another suplex drops Cena again and the fans get even louder.

It’s off to the weird cousin of an STF on Cena but Angle switches to a regular chinlock pretty quickly. Cena suplexes his way to freedom and the comeback is on….so Angle clotheslines the referee on purpose. A low blow drops Cena and the Angle Slam gets two from the third referee. Angle’s top rope superplex gets two more but he misses the moonsault. The FU is broken up and Angle decks the third referee so here’s one from Smackdown. Angle tries to hold him back as Cena DDTs Daivari and then FU’s Angle to retain.

Rating: C+. They had a good match in there somewhere but egads they had too much going on at the same time here. When you have a fourth referee climbing over the three down referees, you’re only going to get so far. Cena needs a fresh opponent now as he’s beaten Angle more than once now so just let him do something else. That being said, who is there right now?

Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long

Palmer Cannon is here with Teddy and there is a referee from both shows. Long posts to start and then ducks a clothesline, meaning it’s time to dance. With that out of the way, it’s more dancing and the required crane pose. Cannon gets drawn onto the apron and Bischoff gets in some choking. A sleeper goes on until Long takes off his own shoe and hits Eric in the head. Eric is ticked….and we’ve got the Boogeyman. Choking into a pumphandle slam drops Bischoff and the one shoed Long gets the pin.

Rating: D-. Teddy’s dancing is the only thing that keeps this from failing because it always makes me smile. This was a complete waste of time but they had to have something in there to stretch the show out a bit. It wasn’t a match of course but what else were you expecting out of something like this?

Both teams get cheered to the ring by their locker rooms.

We recap Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown. Back at Homecoming, Bischoff turned out the lights on a Smackdown six man tag so a bunch of invasions started happening. Therefore, let’s have an elimination tag for brand supremacy.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Shawn Michaels, Kane, Big Show, Carlito, Chris Masters

Smackdown: Batista, Bobby Lashley, John Bradshaw Layfield, Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio

Entrances take forever of course and Rey gets some very loud EDDIE chants. Orton takes Shawn into the corner to start and then does it again for a bonus. Shawn gets in a whip to the other corner to set up some chops as commentary is already bickering. Orton gets in a slam but misses the knee drop so it’s off to Masters. The knee the face works fine on him but it’s quickly off to Lashley, who tosses Masters around.

Carlito gets the tag so Lashley pulls him in and hits a running powerslam for two. It’s back to Shawn, who gets knocked down as well. There’s the Dominator to Carlito but Kane saves Shawn from the same fate. A Kane chokeslam from the apron lets Shawn get rid of Lashley, who wasn’t nearly the factor you would have bet on after the last few weeks. Rey comes in and dropkicks Shawn in the knee as Cole says he’d love to see this dream match. I know he has a short attention span but he can’t remember something from less than two weeks ago?

Kane comes in and gets dropkicked down but is right back up for a big boot. A backbreaker gets two on Rey and we hit the backbreaker. Rey fights out in a hurry though and it’s off to Batista for the shoulders in the corner. A spear into the spinebuster gets rid of Kane but here’s Show for an immediate chokeslam. That’s good for two but Kane is back up for a double chokeslam to get rid of Batista. JBL’s middle rope shoulder is pulled out of the air by Big Show but Orton snaps his throat across the top.

The Clothesline From JBL into the 619 into the RKO into another Clothesline From JBL into the springboard seated senton FINALLY gets rid of Big Show and we’re down to 3-3. Everything breaks down and JBL hits Shawn with a fall away slam on the floor as Masters plants Rey. Carlito comes in for a legdrop and the chinlock goes on. Rey fights up and gets a blind tag from JBL, who blasts Carlito with the Clothesline for the pin.

Masters comes in next and gets hammered down as Shawn is still out on the floor. Rey comes back in and avoids a charge into the post, setting up the 619. Dropping the Dime gets rid of Masters and it’s down to Shawn vs. Orton/Mysterio/JBL. Rey throws Shawn back in and hits the 619 but the West Coast Pop is Sweet Chin Musiced out of the air for the pin. JBL tries the Clothesline but Shawn ducks and superkicks him out for the back to back pins in about fifteen seconds.

That leaves us with Shawn vs. Orton but neither finisher can hit. Orton bails to the floor so Shawn hits a slingshot dive as the fans want Undertaker. Back in and Shawn hits the forearm into the nipup but JBL is still here and brings in a chair. That earns him another superkick but Shawn walks into the RKO for the final pin.

Rating: B. This was good enough and was absolutely the main event of the show. Even though this was for completely meaningless bragging rights, it worked this time because that was something fresh. It’s the difference between doing it once and doing it every year: this time felt like they had built something up instead of throwing it out there because it was November. It also helps when you have Shawn at his best playing the underdog and Orton being great at this match. This nearly identical formula worked in 2003 and it worked here too.

Post match the Smackdown locker room comes in to celebrate….and we’ve got druids. They bring out a casket and stand it upright as the gong hits. Lightning strikes the casket and it is lit on fire, with Undertaker walking out. Undertaker destroys the roster as the Ortons get to the outside. The big staredown with the throat slit ends the show.

Overall Rating: B+. For a show that was almost entirely about the main event, this was actually a very good show with only the Long vs. Bischoff non-match being bad. There are several good matches throughout and it doesn’t drag at all. The ending was a bit obvious as everyone was waiting on Undertaker, but that’s not always the worst thing. Check this out if you need something to watch as it’s a very impressive show.

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 2004 (2019 Redo): The Consolation Prize

Survivor Series 2004
Date: November 14, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is an interesting show as the two big matches are a match where the impact comes over the next four weeks and another where there is little more than bragging rights on the line. The build for this show hasn’t been the strongest, though a lot of that is due to the changes taking place in the company. There are some fresh talents coming in and they’re still finding their footing, so it should be interesting to see where this show takes us. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at the show’s history, which means about five of the seventeen shows get a look. The video talks about trust and how only the strong will survive. Fair enough, though I’d have rather had more of the historical stuff.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Spike Dudley

Spike is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. It’s a brawl to start with Rey taking a shot to the ribs and Chavo getting double teamed in the corner. Kidman doesn’t waste time in dropkicking Spike to the floor and here’s Spike to clothesline Kidman to the other side of the floor. That leave Rey to sunset flip Chavo for two and armdrag him outside. Spike replaces Chavo and stomps Rey down in the corner as Chavo comes back in.

A double clothesline puts Spike and Chavo down at the same time, leaving Rey to hurricanrana Kidman off the apron. Chavo picks Rey up and throws him into a seated senton Kidman, setting up a dive onto both of them. Spike’s dive just hits floor in a nasty crash but he’s fine enough to run back in and break up Chavo’s belly to back on Kidman. Rey gets whipped hard into the corner, leaving the other three to set up a Tower of Doom with Spike getting the worst.

Kidman was just the electric chair so he BK Bombs Rey but gets posted by Chavo. Spike’s running headbutt to the ribs puts Chavo down, only to have Rey come back with a 619 to the champ. Kidman breaks up the West Coast Pop and drops a slingshot legdrop on Chavo. Rey takes Kidman to the floor though, allowing Spike to pin Chavo to retain.

Rating: C+. Pretty good choice for an opener here with Rey and Chavo handling the dives and a Tower of Doom before it was a cliché. Spike retaining the title isn’t the most thrilling thing in the world but I think I could go for that over another Rey or Chavo reign. Kidman has already fallen off a lot and at the moment there isn’t another better option.

Gene Snitsky comes up to Heidenreich to compliment his poetry. Heidenreich likes what Snitsky does to babies. An uncomfortable amount of grunting ensues.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin

Christian, now with Just Close Your Eyes for theme music and with Tyson Tomko in his corner, is challenging. Shelton goes with a hammerlock to start and Christian bails to the ropes to avoid the wrestling on the mat. Back up and Shelton blasts him with a shoulder to show off some power for a change. Christian is already frustrated and slaps the champ in the face before sending him over the ropes.

The cat is skinned and Shelton hits a springboard Blockbuster (looked like it was supposed to be a clothesline but he rotated too far) for two. For some reason that wakes Christian up even more and he hammers away in the corner. Shelton sticks the landing on a monkey flip and threatens Christian to the floor with a superkick, leaving the announcers to discuss the origins of the Oklahoma roll. A Tomko distraction lets Christian kick him into the barricade and the angry Christian pounds away.

The neckbreaker gets two and we hit the chinlock to stay on Shelton’s neck. Shelton gets thrown outside with someone’s elbow pad flying onto the announcers’ table in the process. Back in and Christian’s reverse tornado DDT gets two but Shelton reverses a whip to send Christian chest first into the buckle. A Jackknife rollup gets two and a reverse slingshot suplex (not quite a fisherman’s JR) is good for the same on Christian.

Shelton misses the Stinger Splash though and it’s an inverted DDT to give Christian two of his own. With nothing else working, Tomko slides the title in and even though it hits the referee in the foot, he doesn’t actually notice. It doesn’t work for Christian, who gets the title tossed, only to have Tomko kick Shelton in the face for two. Back up and Christian tries the Unprettier, which is countered into a quick exploder to retain the title.

Rating: B. This is a good example of a difficulty of five but an execution of ten. They went with a simple story but did it so well that it was easy to get behind as you wanted to see the more athletic champion overcome the cheating and retain. It’s a story that you can get into in a single viewing and Shelton played his role very well. Good match and I could go for another one.

Kurt Angle doesn’t like how Edge portrayed him in his book. He did like the chapter on Edge winning the World Title….or at least he would have if there had been one. Edge laughs it off because his team will win tonight and he’ll get a title shot. Angle goes off for his match but Eugene comes in to list off Angle’s resume and sing YOU SUCK.

Wrestlemania Recall: STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!

Team Angle vs. Team Guerrero

Kurt Angle, Carlito, Mark Jindrak, Luther Reigns

Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, Big Show, Rob Van Dam

Cena charges to the ring to chase Carlito off and beats Jesus up the aisle. Carlito keeps running and Cena shouts about Carlito sending his guys to stab him. With Jesus getting in a cheap shot, Carlito and Jesus jump into a car and run away. Everyone else gets in a fight on the floor and we get the opening bell, meaning Carlito is eliminated due to running away (in other words, he was injured).

We officially start with Show chopping Jindrak in the corner and handing it off to Van Dam for a spinning kick to the face. Rolling Thunder gives Eddie two and the headscissors/armdrag combination puts Jindrak and Reigns down. Angle comes in and punches Guerrero down before handing it back to Reigns for a backbreaker into a side slam. Jindrak’s full nelson is countered with a trip into the buckle but Kurt dives over to break up the hot tag attempt.

The chinlock goes on and switches into a front facelock before it’s back to Jindrak for more entry level offense. Actually hang on as he throws in a hip swivel in between the elbows. Eddie finally gets up and brings Rob in to punch Angle. Jindrak tries to save Angle from the Five Star but takes it instead, allowing Kurt to roll Rob up with the ropes for the elimination. Eddie is right back with a rollup in the ropes to get rid of Jindrak (with a fast count) to make it 3-2.

Big Show comes in to face Angle, who bails out so Reigns can do it instead. Reigns finally goes after the big bandage on the ankle, meaning it’s all of five extra seconds before the chokeslam can get rid of him. That leaves Angle by himself so he grabs the ankle lock, which is countered to send him into the aisle. Angle tries to leave but runs into Rob, who sends him backing up the aisle….and right into Show, with Angle reaching up and finding the very tall head to realize how much trouble he’s in. Back in and the FU into the frog splash is enough for the pin.

Rating: D. I was having flashbacks to the Hulkamaniacs vs. the Million Dollar Team from 1989 as the faces were never in serious trouble. There was almost no doubt after just a few minutes because Jindrak and Reigns were the lamest of goons against a bunch of top stars. They never did anything beyond stomps and slams and it wasn’t exactly believable that they could be a threat. There was no drama here and it showed badly.

Maven doesn’t like the suggestion that he doesn’t belong in the main event…and gets jumped by Snitsky. The beatdown is on and Maven is left bloody.

We recap Heidenreich vs. Undertaker. I’d go into the details here but Heidenreich is the definition of a monster for Undertaker to slay. There have been a lot of them over the years but Heidenreich is one of the lowest of the low. He tried to crush Undertaker with a car, which worked as well as you might have expected. Then he read poetry and seemed to sexually assault Michael Cole. Do I need to continue the explanation?

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Undertaker punches him into the corner to start and the referee wisely bails out to the floor. There’s a big boot to put Heidenreich down and Undertaker sends the arm into the corner. Some pulls on the arm look to set up Old School but Heyman offers a distraction so Heidenreich can break it up with a low blow.

Undertaker gets crotched against the post, which Cole thinks may be a kink in his armor. They head outside with Undertaker taking over off the shots to the ribs and the elbows on the apron. The apron legdrop completes the standard sequence and now Old School can connect. A Downward Spiral has Heidenreich in more trouble but the running boot in the corner misses.

Undertaker gets knocked off the apron so Heidenreich can hammer away against the barricade for two back inside. The chinlock goes on for a bit until a clothesline gives Heidenreich two more. Undertaker gets in a suplex and it’s time for the slugout. The clothesline takes Heidenreich down and it’s Snake Eyes into the big boot.

Right hands get Heidenreich out of the chokeslam and a Boss Man Slam gives him two. The punches in the corner are countered into a weak Last Ride with Heidenreich grabbing the rope for the break. Undertaker slams his way out of a sleeper in a hurry and now the chokeslam connects. The Tombstone finally finishes Heidenreich off.

Rating: D. This was far worse than bad as it was really, really boring. Heidenreich had nothing that felt like a threat to Undertaker and the match itself was much longer than it needed to be at about sixteen minutes. The villains continue to be weak on Smackdown with Undertaker dispatching this goon without much serious trouble, as he should have done.

Eric Bischoff says Maven may not be wrestling tonight and since there is so little time left, Bischoff won’t be naming a replacement. His vacation is too valuable to listen to HHH’s complaints about a replacement.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Lita. Trish mocked Lita for getting pregnant by Kane and referred to her as the Kiss of Death for destroying so many careers over the years. Lita lost the baby thanks to Snitsky but Trish wouldn’t shut up, with some of the best heel promos the women’s division has ever seen. Lita wants to kill her and if she wins the title as well, so be it.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish is defending and starts by hiding in the corner. That’s fine with Lita who slugs away and heads outside where a chair shots DQ’s Lita at just over a minute.

Post match Lita stays on her as Trish’s nose is busted.

Theodore Long comes in to see Team Guerrero and asks if he can talk to Cena alone. Show takes off his towel and Cena is a little disturbed. Long has some good news for him: Cena gets his US Title shot this week on Smackdown.

We recap JBL vs. Booker T. Booker earned the title shot by winning a title shot and the rest of the feud has been built around JBL’s lackey Orlando Jordan vs. interviewer Josh Matthews, because this feud doesn’t have the strongest legs.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T.

JBL is defending and will leave Smackdown if he loses. Feeling out process to start with JBL shouting that this isn’t WCW. Some right hands have JBL in trouble so he hits Booker in the back of the head to take over. Booker’s clothesline doesn’t do him much good as a swinging neckbreaker gives the champ two. A much better clothesline sends JBL outside, though he’s fine enough to poke Booker in the eye.

They fight over the announcers’ table and it’s Jordan getting a cheap shot in from behind. We hit the cobra clutch on Booker, followed by some elbow drops for two. And now, just to mix it up a bit, we hit the chinlock. With that broken up, JBL heads up top and gets superplexed right back down. They head outside with a Book End dropping JBL again though Jordan keeps it on the floor.

JBL and Jordan both get taken out and it’s Booker’s missile dropkick for tow back inside. The Houston Hangover misses but Booker is right back with more kicks to the face. Another Jordan distraction lets JBL get two off a DDT….and the ref gets bumped. It’s Jordan coming in again and this time bringing in a chair. Cue Josh Matthews to take the chair away but JBL kicks him in the face. Booker gets in his own kicks but the second referee takes his time diving in for two, allowing Jordan to make the save. The Book End hits Jordan but JBL hits Booker with the title to retain.

Rating: D. Back to back overly long matches from the blue show with JBL and Jordan being as dull of a combination as you can get. The JBL title reign has lost what little charm it had thanks to the Jordan addition, as the guy isn’t adding anything and was the focal point of this feud, despite being that bad. Booker was trying but he needs something better than this reheated HHH/Ric Flair formula.

Evolution has a pep talk before the main event. HHH leaves and Batista talks about wanting to have his night running Raw. The seeds are being planted.

We recap the Raw elimination tag. Bischoff is tired of being in charge so he’s taking a month off. Therefore, the winning team gets to run Raw a week at a time for a month. They have all made it clear that if they win, they’re coming for the World Title, which is about as logical as you can get. The problem though is there’s little reason to watch this show because it’s all about the next four weeks.

Team HHH vs. Team Orton

HHH, Batista, Gene Snitsky, Edge

Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Maven

There’s no Maven to start and Ric Flair is at ringside to make it 5-3. Benoit gets aggressive with Edge in the corner to start and elbows him in the face to take over. That’s enough to bring in Snitsky and Orton, which is quite the strange looking showdown. Their slugout doesn’t last long and it’s off to Jericho vs. HHH to keep up the alternating matchups. Orton is right back in to hammer on HHH with Flair panicking about HHH taking such a beating.

The jumping knee to the face gets HHH out of trouble and it’s Batista hitting his powerslam for two. Edge comes in and gets sent into the corner, allowing the quick tag to Benoit, who beats up everyone in short order. The rolling German suplexes have HHH in trouble and Benoit suplexes Edge onto him. A double Swan Dive gets two with Snitsky having to make a save.

The Sharpshooter has HHH In trouble but Snitsky makes another save. That’s enough for HHH to hit a quick Pedigree so Edge can pin Benoit for the first elimination. Jericho comes in next and gets taken down by a neckbreaker but HHH and Snitsky gets in a shouting match. HHH gets shoved down so Batista comes in to go nose to nose with Snitsky. Batista realizes what’s going on and breaks up the Walls on HHH.

Flair gets caught breaking up the Walls again and that means an ejection. With the referee taking care of Flair, Batista blasts Jericho and Orton with a double clothesline. Orton breaks up the big clothesline to Jericho with a belt shot and it’s a running enziguri to eliminate Batista. That’s not it for Batista to leave in peace though so he blasts Jericho with the big clothesline and then heads out. Snitsky comes in for stomping and choking instead of covering because he’s new at this. It’s off to Edge, who gets taken down with a sleeper drop but Snitsky breaks up the hot tag attempt. Everything breaks down again but here’s a bandaged up Maven to come in and go after Snitsky.

Maven’s middle rope bulldog takes HHH down but Snitsky caves his head in with a chair shot that would get him tossed out of the building today. Here it’s just a DQ, though HHH pins Maven with no trouble a second later. We’re down to HHH/Edge vs. Orton/Jericho with Jericho slipping out of the Pedigree but getting speared down for two. HHH and Edge smile down at Orton, who says bring it on.

The double stomping is on with Edge stomping away and handing it off to HHH, with JR losing his mind that Edge won’t get out of the ring. HHH’s DDT gets two and he argues with the referee, allowing Orton to roll him up for two. Edge comes in and accidentally spears HHH to give Orton the easy pin. We’re down to HHH vs. Orton with the former starting fast with a low blow. Orton gets up again and counters the Pedigree into the RKO for the pin. The Orton vs. HHH part was barely a minute and a half long.

Rating: B-. Perfectly watchable match here with Snitsky still being protected and Maven still being Maven. Other than that they’ve done a good job of making Orton look like a threat to the title, but the two Canadians are just kind of there with little reason to believe that they’re going to be a threat t o the title. That leaves us waiting until probably the Royal Rumble for a new challenger, meaning it’s time for winter vacation without missing any time from the show.

Orton poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a really weird one as it contains a lot of perfectly watchable to good wrestling, but absolutely nothing that changes anything long term. The main event stipulation lasts a grand total of four episodes of Monday Night Raw, and while that might change something, there’s no guarantee that any of this could actually matter. The Smackdown stuff was even less important with the two main matches being long and dull, leaving us with no one to challenge JBL at the moment.

Overall, the show is a rather quick sit (only a little over two and a half hours) with nothing too bad (boring, but not terrible). It could have been worse, but the biggest problem is how nothing actually matters in the end. Like I said, they’re in a big transitional period right now and while they probably have long term goals in mind, this is a rather hard stretch to get through because the villains feel like placeholders, which is the case with most of the stories at the moment. It can get better, but we have some long stretches to get through first.

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John Cena Greatest Rivalries: The Key Word Here

John Cena’s Greatest Rivalries
Commentators: Jim Cornette, Dean Hill, Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

Another case where the name kind of sums up the whole thing and there isn’t much else to say. Cena has faced pretty much everyone in the modern era and we’re getting a look at some of his bigger ones here. That could cover quite a few different people and I’m not sure who all to expect. Let’s get to it.

Note that this is the WWE Vault version and the VERY slimmed down edition, running just shy of two hours rather than the full seven and a half hour full version. Also note that this was released in October 2014 so some names won’t be included.

We start with Batista, with Cena talking about how important his time in OVW was for his early days. There has not been an influx of talent like that in a long time (true) and they all wanted to have THE spot.

From OVW TV, February 23, 2002.

OVW Title: Prototype vs. Leviathan

Leviathan (naturally Batista), with Synn, is defending and commentary points out that Cena lost his first match in OVW last week….to David Flair? Cena is pretty worried to start and gets kicked down before Leviathan works on the arm. Leviathan is dropped across the top rope as this is dominance thus far. An elbow to the face drops Cena again and an elbow drop gets two. The full nelson slam (Leviathan’s finisher) is loaded up but Cena’s manager Kenny Bolin offers a distraction, allowing Cena to get in a low blow.

Three straight belly to back suplexes give Cena two and he whips Leviathan hard into the corner. A Russian legsweep stays on the bad back but Leviathan blocks another attempt. The comeback is on and now the full nelson slam connects, only for Leviathan to miss…something we don’t see due to a replay. Synn and Bolin get in a fight on the floor as Leviathan hits a powerbomb. Some other guy named Brody gets in the ring with an ether rag to knock Leviathan out. What’s left of Cena gets the pin and the title at 7:11.

Rating: C+. This is a match where you have to keep the words “it’s developmental” in mind. The match was in front of a few hundred people and a single major television market so yeah, it was designed to be very simple. It was clear that they saw something in both guys though, which is why they would both be doing house shows in a few months and then get called up shortly thereafter.

Next up is JBL, who Cena compares to a hard nosed coach who pushed him hard and beat him up even harder.

From Wrestlemania XXI.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena

JBL is defending and his entrance (which came first) is cut off here but it’s not his DVD. Cena starts fast with a leapfrog but charges into a boot in the corner. The running shoulder staggers Cena again and a swinging neckbreaker gives JBL two. Some choking on the ropes has Cena in more trouble and a catapult into the rope keeps him in that general area. Another neckbreaker drops Cena for two and JBL grabs the sleeper, which goes as you might expect.

Back up and Cena manages a double clothesline but gets sent outside for another neckbreaker. A superplex drops Cena again but JBL can’t follow up due to the whole crashing down onto the mat as well. The delayed cover gets two so JBL goes up (that can’t be a good idea) and dives into a powerslam to leave both of them down. Cena is able to make the comeback and hits a backdrop, allowing him to initiate the finishing sequence. The Clothesline From JBL misses and the FU gives Cena the pin and the title at 11:28.

Rating: C. This has never been that good of a match and that was clear again here. JBL beats him up, Cena shrugs it off, makes the comeback and wins. It didn’t help that the result was the most obvious imaginable, but dang this would have been better suited as a wild brawl to build the slightest bit of tension (like they did with the rematch, which was outstanding and would have been a much better choice).

We’re not wasting time in getting to the big one as Randy Orton is next up. Cena wants to prove that he’s the best so he faces Orton, who is one of the smoothest wrestlers he’s ever seen (fair). Cena praises Orton’s natural ability, comparing it to Shawn Michaels, saying that it’s not something he himself can do.

From Summerslam 2007.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Cena is defending. We get an old school weapons check and the staredown before the big lockup (they’re definitely going for the big fight feel here). Cena grabs a headlock, allowing him to YELL REALLY LOUDLY IN ORTON’S EAR (he’s an all time great but he can’t hide his spot calling to save his life).

Orton reverses into a shoulder and headlock of his own to a ROAR as this is a very anti-Cena crowd. Back up and it’s too early for the STFU, with Orton bailing straight to the ropes. Orton stomps away but gets taken down with a bulldog for two. Cena’s crossbody misses though and Orton is rather happy at the misfire. A running shoulder sends Cena off the apron and into the announcers’ table for the nasty crash.

Back in and the chinlock goes on, followed by some shots to the head to scramble the brains even more. The big knee drop misses but Orton is right back with another chinlock. That’s switched into a sleeper but this time Cena powers up and starts the comeback. The Shuffle connects but the FU is countered into the backbreaker to put Cena on the apron. Orton hits the hanging DDT and loads up the RKO, which Cena breaks up without much effort.

Cena’s charge sends him crashing out to the floor though and Orton is rather pleased again. Back in Cena grabs a swinging neckbreaker for a breather, followed by the top rope Fameasser. It’s still too early for the FU though as Orton slips out and gets in a neck snap over the top. Orton tries the Punt but gets pulled into the STF, with the long crawl getting him over to the ropes. The RKO gets two but Cena pops back up with the FU to retain at 21:21.

Rating: B-. This was one of (if not the very) their first big time matches against each other and Orton just wasn’t quite there yet. Cena has been the king for a few years now and Orton was an up and coming villain but he needed some more main event seasoning. That would come in time, but for now, it’s really more of a footnote than anything else.

We get to HHH, with Cena talking about how big of a star he is and how important it is to face him at some point.

From Monday Night Raw, October 19, 2009.

John Cena vs. HHH

Points for not doing the Wrestlemania match. Cena grabs some headlock takeovers to start and then takes HHH down again for an early one. HHH bails into the ropes and sneers as only he can. Back in and they fight over a top wristlock until HHH knocks him into the corner. Another whip into a different corner has Cena down but he sends HHH crashing over the corner as we take a break.

We come back with Cena fighting back and hitting a quick suplex. A Pedigree attempt is countered into the STF but Cena pulls him away from the ropes, allowing HHH to make it to the rope (of course). The Pedigree gives HHH two and we take another break. We come back with HHH still hammering away and hitting another Pedigree for another two. An AA gives Cena the same and they’re both down for a needed breather. Back up and Cena tries another AA but gets reversed into the Pedigree to give HHH the clean pin at 20:17.

Rating: B. Of course it was good as these two almost always are, and it’s nice to see a match that might fly underneath the radar a bit. HHH was still one of the biggest names around at this point and having him face Cena was a big deal. You could put these two together and it would automatically feel big, which is what they had going on here. Good match too.

Naturally we get the Rock, with Cena referring to it as Rocky (as Apollo Creed) vs. Cena (as Rocky Balboa). Ehh……not exactly but it’s his DVD.

From Wrestlemania XXIX.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Rock

Rock is defending. Cena shoulders him for an early knockdown but gets caught in a headlock. That’s broken up and Cena is knocked outside for the breather as they’re clearly playing the slow game here. Back in and Rock wins a slugout, allowing him to hit some elbows to the chest on the floor. Cena fights back and grabs the chinlock/headlock, which is reversed into a sleeper.

That’s broken up as well and Rock hits a Samoan drop into the Sharpshooter. Cena powers out again as we’re somehow more than ten minutes into this ridiculously slow match. The ProtoBomb connects but, believe it or not, Cena takes too much time and the Shuffle is broken up. A Rock Bottom attempt is countered into…well it’s a crossface but Cena’s arm is nowhere near the right place (and Cole calls it the STF despite Cena not touching Rock’s legs).

Either way it’s broken up so Rock can take him down again, only to get pulled into the actual STF. Rock powers out and hits a Rock Bottom for two more. The AA gives Cena two more but the top rope Fameasser misses. The spinebuster and the People’s Elbow get two and Cena bails out to the floor. Back in and another Rock Bottom connects for another two and, believe it or not, they’re both down again.

Rock tries the People’s Elbow (with You Can’t See Me) but charges into the AA for two more. Back up and Cena hits his own Rock Bottom for two so he tries the Shuffle. This time though he holds onto the ropes to avoid a Rock Bottom (smart) but the AA is countered into a Rock Bottom for another near fall. They both miss finisher attempts and Rock hits a DDT. Cena gets back up, escapes the Rock Bottom, and hits another AA for the pin and the title at 23:58.

Rating: C. If there was a wrestling textbook, this would be the perfect example of a match that did not need the title. Rock wasn’t sticking around so why in the world would you think he was holding onto the thing? The other problem is this stopped being a match and turned into a collection of finishers and stealing taunts. It makes sense to run the match back at Wrestlemania, but this did NOT need to be for the title.

Post match they talk a lot and Cena gives Rock the ring for the show of respect. Rock takes his sweet time leaving and then endorses Cena to wrap it up.

Cena praises his rivals to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The key thing to remember here is that this is NOT the complete version. As it is, this would barely make the discount bin at Wal-Mart. However, when you consider that this was about a fourth of the whole version, which featured several more rivals (as the main screen is set up like a fighting game select screen) and matches involving these people, there is a lot of potential here. Cena has had several other great rivalries over his career and a look back at them is a fine idea. What we got here was a pretty lame use of two hours, though I’d be curious to see the whole thing.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – September 8, 2008: A Special Combination

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 8, 2008
Location: Allen County War Memorial Coliseum, Fort Wayne, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Unforgiven and the big story on the Raw side is that Chris Jericho jumped into the Scramble match but also won the World Title. That isn’t going to sit well with a lot of people, including Shawn Michaels, who beat him last night. CM Punk never made it into the match as Randy Orton kicked him in the head, which is going to require some revenge. Let’s get to it.

Here is Unforgiven if you need a recap.

Here is Chris Jericho to get things going and he is rather pleased with himself. Last night, he faced a hypocrite named Shawn Michaels. Jericho takes his shirt off to show what Michaels did to him last night. It makes Michaels a hypocrite to have whipped Jericho like a dog and the people loved every second. What did Michaels even win though? It was an unsanctioned match so Michaels won nothing, but Jericho won something.

Last night, Jericho could barely stand up but he took CM Punk’s place and won the title. Batista was so close to winning the title but Jericho outsmarted him. Cue Mike Adamle, who says that Jericho stepped up to the plate last night, but Punk didn’t lose the title either. Punk isn’t here tonight, but he’ll get his rematch for the title next week in a cage. As for tonight, Jericho can face Batista.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Mickie James

James is challenging and Candice Michelle is at ringside. Phoenix wastes no time in taking her outside for a ram into the post before working on the arm back inside. A lifting armbar is countered though as James sits on Phoenix’s shoulders, followed by a neckbreaker. The Thesz press lets James hammer away but they seem to mistime something in the corner. Phoenix grabs a quick Alabama slam to retain.

Rating: C. There is only so much that can be done here, as they didn’t have much time. Phoenix using something other than a Glam Slam for the win was a nice change of pace though, as it gave a bit of a surprise. James losing clean isn’t a good sign though, as there isn’t much of a shot for her to get the title back anytime soon.

Phoenix and Michelle stare each other down post match.

Layla and Jamie Noble are in the back, with Noble begging her to be in his corner tonight. Layla calls that a surprise but he has a real surprise for her: Jillian Hall singing “Layla”. That doesn’t go so well, but Layla will be out there anyway. Promises of Olive Garden are made.

Jamie Noble vs. William Regal

Layla is here with Noble. Regal hammers away in the corner to start but gets taken down by a quick headscissors. That doesn’t work for Regal, who knocks him down and drops some knees, which have Layla cringing. Another knee to the head gets two but Noble is back up with a dropkick. That earns him a running knee to the head to give Regal a quick win.

Post match Regal says this kind of thing only happens in fairy tales and then leaves with Layla, who does look back at Noble on the way out.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Charlie Haas

This week, Haas is dressed as….JBL, meaning he’s in the trunk of JBL’s limo. Haas talks about being a big Texas blowhard who loves to hear himself talk. He does JBL’s Texas two step and JBL glares at him rather hard. JBL: “You’ve got to be kidding me.” JBL doesn’t like being disrespected like this and then walks out for the countout.

Post break JBL finds Batista talking to Kelly Kelly, who both find this funny. JBL says he and Batista are both main eventers and Batista should get why this is terrible. Batista says JBL and Charlie Haas have nothing in common, because Haas actually won tonight.

Rey Mysterio says he had to take some time off after Kane attacked him. He’s standing here though because Kane didn’t kill his spirit. Even though he’s always an underdog, he is no one’s victim.

Rey Mysterio/Evan Bourne vs. Miz/John Morrison

Bourne and Morrison go into the corner to start before Bourne snaps off an armdrag. Mysterio comes in to stay on the arm but Morrison kicks him down to take over. It’s off to Miz to work on Mysterio’s right arm (that looks so wrong) until Mysterio fights up and brings Bourne back in.

A top rope Meteora and an assisted moonsault get two on Miz but he knocks Bourne off the top. Morrison’s chinlock slows things down but Bourne manages to send them into each other. The much needed tag brings Mysterio back in to pick the pace back up including a 619 to Morrison. Air Bourne gives Bourne the pin.

Rating: C+. Nice match here with Mysterio giving Bourne a rub in a win. I can’t imagine them being a full time team, but Mysterio giving his approval to any new high flier is a useful tool. Miz and Morrison are the kind of guys who can get their momentum back without much trouble so the loss won’t hurt them.

Post match Kane appears on the Titantron to say he is facing Mysterio next week. Then Mysterio will see why he’s a victim, and Kane holds up his old mask for a weird moment.

Here is Randy Orton for a chat. Orton talks about how bad it is when you have a title in your grasp and have it taken away. He’s not talking about CM Punk, but rather himself. Orton lost his title because of an injury but he earned his shot, while Punk never did. Last night, Orton took Punk out to prevent him from being exposed in the Championship Scramble.

Cue Ted DiBiase, Cody Rhodes and Manu, with Rhodes not liking Orton taking credit for getting rid of Punk. Manu introduces himself for the Raw audience and DiBiase talks about Orton slapping Rhodes last week….and then gets slapped himself. Orton leaves and the young guys aren’t happy.

Manu/Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase vs. Kofi Kingston/Cryme Tyme

JTG and Rhodes lock up to start until Rhodes gets in a shot to the ribs. It’s already off to DiBiase, who misses a charge at Kingston. Manu pulls Kingston outside for a cheap shot and a headbutt connects back inside. Rhodes’ abdominal stretch has Kingston in trouble but he fights out, only to miss a crossbody. Kingston knocks Rhodes down though and brings Gaspard in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Manu grabs a belly to back neckbreaker for the fast pin.

Rating: C. This was Manu’s Raw debut and…yeah he’s only so interesting. There’s only so much you can get out of this short of a match with so many people around and Manu isn’t that great in the first place. He’s just a generic guy who is there because of his father, which isn’t exactly making him interesting to start. Maybe that can change, but he isn’t off to a great first few steps.

Classics On Demand: Race vs. Flair at Starrcade 1983.

Snitsky vs. Santino Marella

Non-title and Beth Phoenix is here with Marella. We see the Honk-A-Meter, which shows Marella at three weeks, putting him WAY ahead of the Mountie. Snitsky gets distracted by Phoenix to start but comes back with a clothesline. The boot misses in the corner though and Marella gets a rollup for a fast pin.

Kelly Kelly is in Mike Adamle’s office where she’s worried about CM Punk. Adamle says it’s ok but here is Chris Jericho to interrupt. Jericho doesn’t think it’s fair to have him face Batista, but Adamle says Jericho owes him a favor after last week. Adamle needs a main event caliber performance tonight, so the match is on.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Chris Jericho vs. Batista

Non-title and Lance Cade is here with Jericho. Batista starts fast and knocks him down, including the shoulders in the ribs. Jericho gets knocked outside…and here is Mike Adamle to say stop the match. This isn’t fair, so he’s going to even the score a bit.

Chris Jericho/John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Batista

We’re joined in progress with Jericho getting in a cheap shot from the apron and coming in. Batista fights up but gets knocked right back down, allowing JBL to drop some elbows. It’s back to Jericho, but Batista makes the clothesline comeback. Cade gets on the apron though and the Clothesline From JBL drops Batista, with Jericho stealing the pin.

Rating: C+. This was an interesting twist and I can go with having Batista coming after Jericho. It’s a good choice for a first challenger, even if Shawn Michaels would seem to be the obvious way to go. Then again, if Jericho beat Batista here, maybe they’re just going straight to Michaels vs. Jericho while Batista faces JBL. Again. As their previous matches were just so interesting.

Post match Cade and JBL beat on Batista but he fights back and hits a spear to JBL. Cade gets Batista Bombed and Batista stares at Jericho to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked it for the most part, as thankfully they have combined the best thing going on the show with the World Title scene, which is pretty far overdue. Jericho and Michaels have been doing the best stuff for such a long time now that it’s good to see it as the official top story. The rest of the show was just ok though, with a lot of short matches which didn’t have the chance to do much.

 

 

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Summerslam 2008 (2024 Edition): A Pair Is Good Enough

Summerslam 2008
Date: August 17, 2008
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 15,997
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re wrapping up the summer with this big one, though it is more or less a two match show. On the Raw side, that would be John Cena vs. Batista, while the Smackdown side counters with Edge vs. Undertaker inside the Cell. That should be enough to carry the show, which is pretty much what WWE is going with, as the rest of the show does not feel nearly as important (which, fair enough). Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a trailer for the ultimate summer blockbuster, complete with clips of Summerslams past. I’ve seen worse ideas. The Cell match gets some hype as well.

MVP vs. Jeff Hardy

MVP fires off some kicks to start but gets chased to the floor, where Hardy takes over rather quickly. Back in and Hardy hits a slingshot legdrop before cranking on the arm for a change. MVP fights up and catches a charging Hardy in an overhead belly to belly into the corner for a nasty crash. A double underhook crank goes on, followed by a camel clutch to keep Hardy down. That’s broken up so MVP switches over to a half crab and then something like a heel hook as the submissions are varying here.

Hardy tries to fight up again but what looked like a springboard is cut off by a hard right hand. MVP ties him in the Tree of Woe but Hardy slips out and grabs a neckbreaker for a breather. The slingshot dropkick is cut off by a kick to the chest though and Hardy is right back in the corner. That doesn’t last long as he comes right back out with the Sling Blade but cue Shelton Benjamin for a distraction. Hardy takes him down but misses the Swanton, allowing MVP to hit the Drive By for the pin.

Rating: B-. They were getting going near the end here and it wound up being a rather nice way to open the show without it feeling like a major match. Odds are Hardy is going to get another US Title shot after the Benjamin interference but I’m curious to see what is next for MVP. There isn’t much in the way of another upper midcarder for him to face so other than a rematch with Hardy, he’s kind of in a weird place.

Maria interviews Santino Marella and Beth Phoenix, with Santino saying Maria has let herself go since they broke up. They are known as Glamarella, which is a total phenomenon. Maria: “Like your unibrow?” Santino says they they need to go, with Beth glaring at Maria and saying Santino is all his. Santino: “This is awkward.”

Intercontinental Title/Women’s Title: Kofi Kingston/Mickie James vs. Santino Marella/Beth Phoenix

Kofi and Mickie are defending and it’s winner takes all. Mickie has to get away from Beth’s power to start before kicking out the leg. A basement dropkick gives Mickie two but a belly to back suplex puts her right back down. Santino comes in and is promptly monkey flipped, allowing Kofi to come in and hammer away. Beth stops to yell at Santino and gets dropkicked out to the floor, leaving her to catch Santino as he is knocked off the apron.

Back up and Santino manages a neckbreaker over the ropes to take over on Kofi. A snap suplex gets two on Kofi and we hit the chinlock. Kofi fights up and hands it back to Mickie to take over on Beth. A dropkick knocks Santino off the apron and the top rope Thesz press gets two on Beth, with Santino diving back in for the save. The MickieDT plants Santino but the distraction lets Beth hit the Glam Slam for the pin and both titles.

Rating: C. The match was pretty quick and to the point, but it isn’t like Kofi was doing anything significant as champion and Mickie had held her title for a good while. Glamarella is a better act at the moment and it makes sense to change both belts. Go with what makes sense here, as Santino as the in over his head champion who needs Beth to save him should be fun.

Beth having to wake Santino up so he can be awarded his title is funny. He gets on Beth’s shoulders to be carried out for a great bonus.

We recap Shawn Michaels’ eye injury, which might result in the end of his career, all at the hands of Chris Jericho. It is time for him to make an announcement, and you know Jericho is going to have something to say as well.

Here is Shawn, with his wife Rebecca, for his announcement. He gets right to the point, saying he has been talking to his doctors and with the injury to his eye, on top of his back and knees and everything else, it is time to listen to his doctors. Shawn talks about some of the highs and lows of his career, but now he has the chance to be known as a full time husband and father. Before he can make the officially announcement though, here is Chris Jericho to interrupt.

Jericho: “No.” Shawn: “Excuse me?” Jericho isn’t going to let Shawn walk away like this, because he wants to hear Shawn admit that he is leaving because of what Jericho did to him. Jericho wants Shawn to have to go home to his family and say that he isn’t good enough. For now, he wants Shawn to admit that Jericho put him out for good. All of his accomplishments mean nothing because the epitaph for Shawn’s career says “the man who was forced to walk away from the ring because of Chris Jericho.”

Shawn says he’ll go home and tell his kids that he can’t wrestle anymore because of a vile human being. Jericho needs to go home too though, and sit his wife and kids down to tell them that he will never, ever be Shawn Michaels. They stare at each other and Jericho comes up swinging, with Shawn ducking so the punch hits Rebecca instead.

Shawn is distraught and Jericho looks upset before leaving. Jericho stares back at him and Shawn looks almost lost before checking on Rebecca again. Rebecca eventually gets up and leaves with Shawn as this gets the time that it needs. This was REALLY good stuff with Jericho selling the jealousy and Shawn getting in the great mic drop line at the end.

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy

Henry, with Tony Atlas, is defending. Hardy slugs away to start but is easily powered into the corner. A Twist of Fate connects out of nowhere…but Atlas breaks up the cover and that’s a DQ in about thirty seconds. Well that’s either a time crunch or they had nothing else to do and needed to extend the feud another month.

Post match the beatdown is on but Jeff Hardy runs in for the save.

We recap CM Punk defending the Raw World Title against JBL. Punk won the title via Money In The Bank cash-in and JBL keeps talking down to him for being in over his head. Punk is out to prove he belongs on this level.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Punk is defending and gets powered into the corner to start for a clean break. A headlock doesn’t work so Punk kicks away and dropkicks JBL out to the floor, setting up the big dive. Back in and JBL hits a big shoulder to take over, setting up a super fall away slam for two. Some elbows to the back keep Punk in trouble and we hit the bearhug.

Punk fights out but charges into a boot to the face for two. The waistlock stays on the ribs before JBL switches over to the abdominal stretch. Punk fights out and manages the running knee in the corner but JBL is back with a heck of a clothesline (not the Clothesline From JBL but rather just a clothesline from JBL).

Another comeback with a kick to the head gives Punk two but JBL powerslams him out of the air for two more. The Clothesline From JBL is broken up with a leg lariat but JBL cuts off the bulldog out of the corner. JBL sends him flying with a belly to back superplex and Punk is bleeding from somewhere on his head. Back up and Punk hits a quick GTS for the really sudden pin to retain (possibly due to the cut).

Rating: C+. It was a fine come from behind win for Punk, even if the ending was really sudden. What matters the most though is giving Punk a clean pin over someone with some status. He still only feels so much like a major star, but a win in a World Title match at Summerslam should help that. Now just make him slightly more important on Raw and it will be even better.

We recap HHH vs. Great Khali for the Smackdown World Title. HHH is the champion but Khali is big. End of story.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Great Khali

HHH is defending and Khali has Runjin Singh with him. The early right hands stagger Khali but he easily blocks a Pedigree attempt. HHH’s clotheslines are cut off with the tree slam but Khali would rather pose than cover. The Vice Grip is broken up and a chop block takes Khali down. They go outside where the big chop knocks HHH silly and it’s time to stomp away back inside.

The fans think Khali can’t wrestle and he proves them wrong by grabbing a nerve hold. That stays on for a good while but HHH slugs away and hits a facebuster to tie Khali’s arms in the ropes. Khali kicks his way out so HHH goes after the leg and even ties it around the post in a smart move. Not that it matters as Khali chops him down again and the Vice Grip goes on again. Since it’s HHH, he manages to power out and, after another failed attempt, hits the Pedigree to retain the title.

Rating: C. That’s on something of a sliding scale as Khali is only going to be so good on his best day and the match wasn’t exactly good. That being said, they followed a simple formula here of Khali slowly beating him down and grinding away while HHH just tried for his one big home run dhow. It wasn’t good, but I’ll take a “that could have been worse” for a World Title match involving Khali.

We recap John Cena vs. Batista in their first ever match in WWE. I don’t think it needs much more of an explanation than that.

John Cena vs. Batista

Batista grabs a headlock into a running shoulder to start but Cena is back with a hiptoss. Back up and Cena’s shoulder runs Batista over for a change but Batista gets two off a suplex. A side slam gives Batista two more and he mixes things up with a Figure Four of all things. The leg is fine enough that Cena gets to the rope and FU’s Batista over the top for a crash out to the floor. While Cena gets a breather, Batista comes up holding his knee, which can’t go well.

Back in and Cena hits another Shuffle but the second FU is broken up. Batista powers him into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs but the Batista Bomb is countered into a DDT on the knee. Cena gets the STFU but Batista powers out into something like a rear naked choke for a change.

A shot to the knee gets Cena out of trouble, only for Batista to spear him down for two. Cena manages to reverse a powerslam into an FU for a rather delayed two. They go up top with Cena knocking him off the top, only for the top rope Fameasser to be countered into a powerbomb for two more. The Batista Bomb gives Batista the pin.

Rating: B. It didn’t quite live up to the hype, but how can anything live up to that kind of pressure? This was the definition of a dram match with two of the biggest names in WWE facing off for the first time. It also wasn’t very long, not even breaking fourteen minutes. What we got was good, but it felt like it should have been incredible and it just never got there.
The Cell is lowered.

We recap Edge vs. the Undertaker inside the Cell. This is more about Edge vs. his wife Vickie Guerrero, as Edge cheated on her with their wedding planner. As a result, Vickie put him in the Cell match as revenge. Edge has tapped into his more evil, aggressive side to fight back against Undertaker but also to deal with Vickie. Undertaker hasn’t appeared during the whole thing and is more a big shadow over the real feud, making it kind of a weir build. Edge has done well though and is feeling more like the great version of himself, which gives this promise.

Edge vs. Undertaker

Inside the Cell. They start slowly until Undertaker kicks him in the face. It’s already time to head out to the floor, where Edge is sent hard into the Cell. Another whip sends him into the steps as this is one sided so far. Undertaker drops the apron legdrop as we see La Familia watching backstage. The steps are set up in the corner and Edge is Snaked Eyesed onto them….which wakes Edge up for some reason. Undertaker is sent into the steps and then speared against the for a bonus.

It’s table time but first, Edge knocks him silly with the steps again. Edge can’t manage to suplex him through two tables at ringside though and has to fight out of a chokeslam attempt. A chair to the throat puts Undertaker down again so let’s throw in a ladder as well. One heck of a chair shot to the head puts Undertaker down, allowing Edge to put him onto the table. The chair shot off the ladder crushes Undertaker and they’re both down. Edge is up first and loads up a Conchairto, which takes too long, allowing Undertaker to slug away.

A big boot sends Edge into the Cell and some hard steps to the head makes it worse. Edge manages a posting though and the spear sends Undertaker through the Cell wall for the big crash. It’s Undertaker up first and he hits Edge in the head with a TV monitor. They go onto the announcers’ table, with Edge hitting a spear to send him through the other table. Somehow Undertaker is up first again and hits Edge with the bell.

They go back inside (the fans do not approve), where Edge is waiting with a ladder to the head. A camera to the head (ala Survivor Series last year when Edge cost Undertaker in the Cell) but Undertaker pops back up with a chokeslam for two. The Last Ride is broken up with a low blow and Edge hits the Edgecution for two. Another spear gets another two but Undertaker is back up with the Last Ride for the same. The Tombstone onto the steps is broken up and Edge sends him head first onto the steps for a double breather.

For some reason Edge goes up, allowing Undertaker to chokeslam him off the top and through a pair of tables for the huge crash. Back in and Undertaker hits a spear of his own before grabbing the camera (Undertaker: “WELCOME TO H***!” That’s a good line but it would have been better if that was the active camera, instead giving us a shot of Undertaker shouting into a camera from the side). A Conchairto and the Tombstone finally finish Edge.

Rating: A-. These two beat the fire out of each other and it made for a great fight. They even told a story with the violence as Edge threw everything he had at Undertaker but just wasn’t good enough. That’s what Vickie Guerrero was hoping to do here and it made for a great story. Undertaker massacred Edge here and the ending felt like a total destruction, which is exactly what it should have been. Heck of a main event here and it lived up to the hype.

Post match Undertaker stands up a ladder and puts Edge on it. Undertaker climbs up a second ladder and chokeslams Edge through the mat. Fire comes up from the hole to to hammer in the symbolism and end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The last two matches delivered and thankfully those were the matches that mattered by far the most. Throw in a pretty awesome Shawn/Jericho segment and this was a good show. What mattered here was the show felt important, which is what something like Summerslam should do. WWE still needs to boost up something else other than the main stories, but for now they were enough to carry the show.

 

 

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2005 (2020 Redo): He’s Here

Summerslam 2005
Date: August 21, 2005
Location: MCI Center, Washington DC.
Attendance: 18,156
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

It’s a big show here with a card that doesn’t quite live up to the hype. We have a huge main event between Hulk Hogan and Shawn Michaels, but after that it’s kind of a downgrade with Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero with a kid (symbolically) above the ring. The World Title matches see John Cena defending against Chris Jericho and JBL challenging Batista in a No Holds Barred match. Maybe they can make it work though so let’s get to it.

Lilian Garcia sings the Star Spangled Banner.

The opening video looks at the big matches, which works a bit better. Granted that might be because it’s set to Remedy by Seether and I always liked that song. Shawn vs. Hogan gets its own section of the video, because nothing on this show comes close to it (fair enough).

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan is defending and it’s a German suplex into the Crossface to make Benoit champion in 25 seconds. Now THAT is how you wake a crowd up while giving Jordan exactly what he deserved in Honky Tonk Man style.

Vickie Guerrero comes in to see Eddie and asks him to calm down. This isn’t about Dominic because it’s all about Eddie not being able to beat Rey. Eddie wants someone to carry on the Guerrero legacy and Vickie talks about him having a heart of gold. But there’s also an evil inside of him that won’t leave Rey alone. Eddie: “So now you don’t think I can beat Rey?” Eddie throws her out and reassures himself that he’ll win.

We recap Matt Hardy vs. Edge. Lita left Matt for Edge while Matt was hurt and then he was released. Matt invaded Raw a few times to get at Edge but then he was rehired and it was just Matt Hardy again. Tonight is the big fight.

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

Hardy runs to the ring and starts the fight on the floor as it feels like Matt wants to kill him. They get inside with Matt hammering away and a loud HARDY chant. Matt grabs a rear naked choke but Edge gets to the ropes and then back outside. Back in and Edge hits a headbutt to put Matt on the ropes as the fans are all over Lita.

A spear through the ropes puts them back on the floor but Matt hammers away with right hands to the head. More right hands in the corner have Edge in trouble so he drops Matt face first onto the post to knock him silly. Even Lita looks concerned as Matt is busted open. Matt can barely stand so Edge kicks him in the head….and the referee stops it.

Rating: D+. So yeah Matt comes back, gets in a few shots, and then gets busted open for a referee stoppage in five minutes. The first minute or so felt like a war but then it was little more than a hard hitting match with one big spot. This is the kind of thing that needed to go about eighteen minutes with both of them bleeding, but that would suggest that Matt was something important, rather than just a way to get Edge over. I can go with that as Matt is Matt and Edge has been a near main eventer for a long time now, but this was a major disappointment after the setup.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Eddie can’t beat Rey and has been driven completely crazy over jealousy and his failures. Therefore, Eddie is going to try something else so he brought up that Rey’s son Dominic was really Eddie’s biological son. Eddie wanted Dominic, but a social worker said they had to settle this, so a ladder match was made instead.

Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero

Tony Chimel: “The following contest is a ladder match for the custody of Dominic!” And that’s your most ridiculous ring introduction of all time. Dominic and the social worker are in the front row so Eddie goes over to them for a rather evil smile. Rey comes out and hugs Dominic so Eddie goes over and shakes the social worker’s hand. We’re ready to go and Eddie talks a lot of trash as they stare each other down to start.

Eddie gets in a cheap shot to knock Rey into the corner but Rey monkey flips him out to the floor. A whip sends Rey into the ladder though and he has to springboard in with a dropkick to knock Eddie off. Eddie goes to get another ladder so Rey dropkicks that one into his face, followed by a springboard seated senton to the floor. Back in and Eddie saves Rey’s climb with a sunset bomb but he can’t hold on, making it look rather messy. Eh to be fair that’s a pretty tricky spot.

Eddie hits him in the ribs and face with the ladder before sandwiching Rey between some ladders. The fans know what’s coming and are rather pleased with the slingshot hilo onto a ladder onto Rey onto another ladder. Rey gets up and uses a ladder to bridge his way up top to cut Eddie off, including a backdrop onto the bridged ladder. The crash bangs up Rey’s knee so he climbs rather slowly, allowing Eddie to dropkick the ladder out and hurt the knee even more.

Eddie reverse powerbombs him ribs first into the ladder on the top rope and there’s that evil smile again. That’s enough for another climb but Dominic comes in to shake the ladder. That just annoys Eddie so he yells at Dominic and demands a hug. Eddie: “I’m your new daddy now!” Eddie goes to hit him but Rey makes the save as Dominic is back with the social worker who let him jump the barricade and interfere in a violent match.

Rey sends him into a ladder and then 619s said ladder into Eddie’s face, only to hurt the knee again. The knee is ok enough to Drop The Dime onto a ladder onto Eddie and then load up the ladder again. Eddie climbs up the same side for an electric chair but Rey shows him how to do the sunset bomb for the huge crash. Rey goes up again and grabs the case but Eddie kicks the ladder out and pulls Rey down into a big spinebuster.

With Rey pinned under the ladder, Eddie goes up but stops to talk a lot of trash. He can’t unhook the thing anyway, allowing Rey to wiggle free and kick the ladder over. Apparently Vickie was supposed to run in there and missed the cue, explaining why Eddie couldn’t understand how a hook worked. Eddie is back up with Three Amigos, including the third onto the ladder. That means another climb but this time Vickie comes out for the save as she shoves the ladder over. Vickie pulls Eddie back so Rey can climb p and win.

Rating: B. It’s rather good with some big crashes, but the Vickie/Dominic stuff was too much and brought the match down. Rey vs. Eddie is something you can watch all day, especially if Eddie is all evil, but they could have come up with something better than a ladder match for custody papers. It was too far and became dumb rather than dramatic, which defeats a lot of the purpose.

Post match Vickie is relieved and Rey hits Eddie with a briefcase for a bonus.

Chris Jericho doesn’t like John Cena’s theme music and promises to make him as forgettable as the New Kids On The Block. He beat the Rock and Steve Austin on the same night and Cena isn’t on their level.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

For Eugene’s (Or Angle’s?) Gold Medal with no time limit and Christy Hemme is here with Eugene. Angle goes off on him to start and stomps Eugene down into the corner. Eugene comes back with a Faarooq spinebuster but Angle breaks up the People’s Elbow attempt with a hard clothesline. The fans are very pleased with this as they don’t seem all that into Eugene here.

Angle rolls the German suplexes for two and the fans are happy again. Eugene gets sent into the buckle a few times so the comeback is on, including a Rock Bottom for two. The Stunner gets the same and Eugene takes down the non-existent straps. Angle reverses the ankle lock by rolling him into the corner though and it’s the Angle Slam into the ankle lock for the win.

Rating: D. This could have been on Raw as Eugene was completely overwhelmed. The charm is long past gone now and it’s just Eugene doing Austin and Rock moves with almost nothing in between. It was just a squash anyway as Eugene is treated like the glorified jobber that he is. Angle needs to move on to something else and Eugene needs to become something else entirely.

Post match Angle stands on a chair so he can be awarded the medal again.

The Divas, in swimsuits, wash a limo with the Presidential seal on the door. The window goes down to reveal Vince McMahon. Vince: “Hey, why not?” There’s a McMahon For President bumper sticker on the limo for a bonus.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Rematch from Wrestlemania because Orton isn’t happy with his loss. It’s weird to see Undertaker come out first. Orton bails to the floor to start so Undertaker takes a second before shoving him down. A slap gets in Orton’s head a bit but he’s back up to dodge some right hands. Undertaker grabs a headlock (that’s a rare one) but Orton is right back with a hiptoss into a clothesline. That just earns him a big boot to the face and Orton is stunned in a hurry.

Undertaker goes technical with a keylock into Old School but Orton somehow understands what it means when Undertaker stands on the top while holding an arm. Old School is broken up with an armdrag back down but Undertaker LAUNCHES him into the corner to hammer away. The big boot and jumping clothesline give Undertaker two but the big boot in the corner only hits….well corner really and Orton grabs a DDT for his own two with Undertaker putting a foot across the rope.

Flashing back to his Evolution days, Orton cannonballs down onto the leg and then wraps it around the post. The leglock goes on so Undertaker punches his way to freedom, only to earn a knee drop to the ribs. Undertaker limps into the powerslam for two and it’s time to go to Texas with a spinning toehold.

That’s broken up as well and Undertaker starts kicking at Orton’s knee, earning a one off BORING chant. That doesn’t last long either as Orton is right back to the knee as the slow pace continues. Undertaker kicks him out to the floor for a ram into the steps and the apron legdrop as this isn’t exactly hitting a high gear. Old School connects back inside and it’s the Downward Spiral to Orton, who is right back with a dropkick for the double knockdown.

The RKO is blocked so they fight over a Tombstone until Orton gets two off the backbreaker. Orton goes up but Undertaker rolls through the high crossbody and grabs him by the throat. The chokeslam connects but a “fan” comes in. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. It was a struggle to get this high as there was no sense of urgency or any time until the end where either of them seemed close to going to a finish. At least the Wrestlemania match had an awesome near fall of the RKO but this was a bunch of leg work until they got to the finish. It could have worked if they had gone to a better ending but this never got into a higher gear.

And it’s Cowboy Bob Orton. You can book the rubber match already.

Some members of the Republican National Committee are here.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. John Cena. They’ve been having issues since Cena made his Raw debut on the Highlight Reel. Then they got in an argument over who was the bigger rock star, which turned into Cena’s Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff’s Vince McMahon with Jericho and Carlito as the chief lackeys. The former story was better but why do that when you can do the same thing you’ve done so many times before?

Bischoff wishes Jericho’s luck.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Cena is defending. They go nose to nose to start and a lockup doesn’t go anywhere. Jericho’s headlock is just as ineffective but he grabs a suplex to take over. There’s the spinwheel kick to drop Cena again but the springboard crossbody only lands on the floor. Back in and Cena hammers away, only to charge into a dropkick in the corner. A suplex gives Jericho two and a basement dropkick to the headsets up the chinlock.

They go outside with Jericho choking away with a cord but Cena is back with right hands. This isn’t exactly blowing the roof off the place so far. The big flying shoulder misses though and Jericho hits the running bulldog. Jericho has to bail out of the Lionsault so he tries the Walls, which is kicked out to the floor in a hurry. Cena drops the middle rope Fameasser over the ropes for two on the way back in but the FU is countered into a DDT for two. It’s time to start in on the back with a backbreaker and some elbows as the fans are loudly split.

The running crotch attack to the back only hits ropes though and they’re both down again. Cena is back up with that hard clothesline into the ProtoBomb. The Shuffle is countered into the Walls in the middle though, sending Cena on the long crawl to the ropes. Jericho pulls him back in but Cena makes the rope on the second attempt to a rather loud reaction. Cena’s back is good enough to try a super AA but Jericho slips out and grabs another suplex for another two. An argument with the referee lets Cena grab the FU to retain.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but they drew the crowd into it and it turned into a heck of a match by the end. Cena is showing some signs of brilliance in these big matches and Jericho has more than shown that he can hang with anyone so this was a benefit to both of them. Good match here as Cena is becoming a bigger and bigger star every single week.

We recap JBL vs. Batista (hometown boy) for the Smackdown World Title. JBL beat him by DQ last month so now it’s No Holds Barred. Not much more to it than that as JBL isn’t quite the believable challenger.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Batista is defending and it’s No Holds Barred. We get the JBL dollars raining from the ceiling during JBL’s entrance. The fight starts at the entrance with Batista ramming him into various things. A fire extinguisher into the face drops Batista though and JBL punches him around the barricade, only to have Batista spear him through said barricade.

They get inside for the first time with JBL kicking him in the head, followed by some whipping with a belt. Back up and Batista charges into a boot in the corner, setting up the Clothesline From JBL for two. JBL slides in the steps and this isn’t going to end well. The powerbomb off the steps is countered into a backdrop off of them and Batista hits the spinebuster. There’s the Batista Bomb but Batista doesn’t cover. Another Batista Bomb onto the steps retains the title.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but it was way better than their previous match as it didn’t go on forever, though the stipulation wasn’t exactly used. They went with the definitive ending here as Batista completely beat him, which is all it should have been. JBL was never a threat to Batista and now they can both move on to something else, with both of them going in the proper direction.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Hulk Hogan. They teamed a handful of times and then Shawn superkicked him on the Fourth of July. Shawn said he had to know and the match was made. Everything went spiraling out of control after that though, with Shawn turning it into a weird near shoot on Hogan’s career while Hogan just referenced Bret Hart and screwjobs a few times. Shawn has carried this feud on his back and it’s going to be interesting to see how they get to the big boot and legdrop.

Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels

Hogan has the big flag out for the entrance. It’s a long staredown to start before Hogan shoves him away and shows off the biceps. Hogan shoves him down a few more times and Shawn is already frustrated. A headlock works a bit better for Shawn until a shoulder sends him into a backflip through the ropes as the overselling is already strong. Back in and Shawn knees him in the ribs but gets put on top so Hogan can kick him in the ribs.

Shawn bounces as high into the air as he can for a crotching, before a ram into the buckle gives us a bump that Mr. Perfect would think is too much. A clothesline puts Shawn on the floor where he rolls backwards again, gets up and falls back down. Shawn manages a kick to the face though and starts chopping away in the corner. The slap to the face does not go well so Shawn does it again before chopping even more. A third slap earns Shawn a right hand out to the floor but they both get posted with Hogan staggering around a lot.

Shawn posts him again but still can’t put Hogan down so it’s time for some left hands to the head. Some right hands in the corner get Shawn shoved down again (make it twice), only to have him finally punch Hogan down (you don’t see that too often). Hogan is finally busted open and Shawn grabs the sleeper to follow the Randy Savage formula from Wrestlemania V. Shawn’s arm is covered in blood as Hogan suplexes his way to freedom.

The forearm into the nipup lets Shawn drop the elbow (OH YEAH indeed) but this one misses (leave it to Savage kid). Hogan slugs away but Shawn tries another forearm, which takes out the referee. The fans want Bret (fair enough after the promos building this up) but Shawn is up first and heads to the top, only to come back down for a terrible Sharpshooter (even Rock’s is better than that).

Another referee comes in and Hogan very slowly makes it to the rope. Hogan kicks him into the second referee and everyone is down again. A low blow drops Hogan and a chair to the head finally lets Shawn hit the elbow. Sweet Chin Music connects for two but Hogan kicks out, Hulks Up, punches away and finishes with the big boot and legdrop. So that’s how they got there.

Rating: B-. The match was a weird one (YOU THINK?) as Shawn was doing his over the top selling and turning it into a joke at first but then it settled into a match with a pretty simple formula that hit the high points but didn’t exactly break the mold. Hogan was the definitive winner here and Shawn hit everything he could without being able to finish Hogan off. I liked it well enough and it’s certainly a dream match, but it’s two matches in one and that’s a little distracting.

Post match Hogan poses but Shawn stops him to make everything nice. Shawn says he had to know and, as usual, wrestlers are rather forgiving about the whole situation. It’s more posing to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was all over the place with some good wrestling and action but a lot of things that felt like they should have been so much more. It’s an enjoyable show and something I’d watch again down the line, but it felt like they were going for a stacked show and as it is, it’s just pretty good. Fix some of the bigger holes and it’s a great one, but I’ll take what I can get after a build that wasn’t their best work.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2004 (2019 Redo): THUD

Summerslam 2004
Date: August 15, 2004
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,640
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the second biggest show of the year and that could go multiple ways. Smackdown has been getting better as of late but it’s still not very good. Raw has had its moments, but with the second biggest match from the red show being HHH vs. Eugene, they’re working underneath a pretty low ceiling. Let’s get to it.

The theme is the Summer Games, giving us an Olympic themed opening. I’ve always liked these as they’re actually rather entertaining.

The opening video looks at the big matches, but Diva Dodgeball is in the middle, even before the Intercontinental Title and Smackdown World Title matches. I’m thinking no on that one.

Dudley Boys vs. Paul London/Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio

Spike recently joined his brothers and since there are no other teams on Smackdown, Kidman and London are still feuding with the Dudleys. Rey just walks out to his music, which takes a lot of the impact away. D-Von hammers on Kidman to start but gets armdragged down for his efforts. London comes in for an assisted moonsault and the dropkick gets two.

A rather hard clothesline takes London down and it’s off to Spike for some screaming stomps in the corner. Bubba comes in for the trash talking elbow drop and the villains start taking turns working on London. Straight right hands break up the comeback attempt but Bubba hits D-Von by mistake. Spike gets kicked away and that’s enough for the tag off to Mysterio.

The springboard legdrop gets two on Spike and a hurricanrana out of the corner makes things even worse. A reverse DDT plants D-Von and it’s back to Kidman for a top rope back elbow to Spike. Everything breaks down and a BK Bomb gets two on Spike. Bubba gets double dropkicked to the floor and Spike takes a Hart Attack of all things. The 619 sends Spike into the shooting star from Billy for two with D-Von making the save. Back in and Kidman walks into the 3D to give Spike the pin.

Rating: C. Well that was a dumb ending. You have Spike as Cruiserweight Champion and have him pin a Tag Team Champion to open one of the biggest shows of the year? You couldn’t have Rey pin D-Von here to let the fans feel good? This didn’t help anything other than building Spike up, which was done as well as it was going to be with the Cruiserweight Title win. Bad decision here, in a match that didn’t need to have this kind of a finish.

We recap Kane vs. Matt Hardy. Lita slept with Kane to get him to leave Matt alone, actually being stupid enough to believe it would work. As a result Lita is pregnant but still loves Matt. Therefore, she’s marrying the winner of this match. Somehow, not even the most bizarre stipulation in Summerslam history.

Kane vs. Matt Hardy

Matt goes straight at him to start and hits what I guess was a middle rope Side Effect for two. The middle rope legdrop to the back of the head gets the same and a weird looking tornado DDT (with Matt landing on his stomach) gets the third two. Kane finally hits a clothesline to take over but a Lita distraction lets Matt low bridge him to the floor.

The slingshot dive sets up a Twist of Fate for nine and probably the best chance Matt had. Lita throws in the bell and distracts the very stupid referee so Matt can clock Kane for two. Kane kicks him in the face and goes up but gets caught by Matt. That’s fine with Kane, who hits a super chokeslam for the pin and Lita’s hand.

Rating: D. Short and bad here, with Matt having less than no chance throughout. Matt has been destroyed and turned into an idiot this whole feud and Kane winning in the end was the only way it could go. Now just get to the wedding, which is destined to be the most entertaining part of this whole thing. The match was nothing that couldn’t have been done on Raw but with a nice looking ending. That’s also Matt’s last WWE match for about a year as he had a bad knee injury and was then released in April.

Randy Orton doesn’t want to hear about anyone being upset because tonight is a night for celebration. John Cena cuts him off and promises him some merch. He’s an Orton fan, but a quick fan poll seems to suggest that they don’t agree with him. And so it begins.

Booker T. vs. John Cena

Match #1 in a best of five series for Booker’s US Title. They slug it out to start with Cena hitting a clothesline for one. Cena gets in the Throwback for two so Booker crotches him on top to cut that off in a hurry. Booker throws in a You Can’t See Me and drops a knee for no cover. A jumping kick to the face cuts off Cena’s early comeback and it’s a camel clutch to keep things slow.

That’s broken up so Booker goes with a spinebuster and side slam to drop Cena again. The ax kick misses though and Cena hits his running clothesline out of the corner. That just earns him a flapjack into a Spinarooni but Cena hits a quick FU for the pin, ignoring Booker’s shoulder being way off the mat.

Rating: D+. That’s the third straight fast match here and that’s not a good thing on a show like this. They didn’t even have seven minutes here, which is the kind of match that could have been on Smackdown instead of wasting it on this show. Cena is likely losing the next two matches to put him in a hole which is fine, but I could have gone for a better start to this thing.

Eric Bischoff (“the head cracker in charge of Raw”) comes in to see Theodore Long and points out the revolving door to the Smackdown GM office. Bischoff advises him to enjoy it while it lasts but Teddy tells him to get to steppin.

Intercontinental Title: Batista vs. Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Hometown boy Edge is defending and Batista is on fire at the moment. Speaking of Batista, he knocks Edge off the apron during his entrance and we hit the Y2J chants early on. A hard elbow knocks Jericho down and a shoulder does it again. Edge comes back in with a chop block to break up the Batista Bomb though and it’s time for some Canadian violence on Batista. Snake Eyes gets Batista out of trouble but Jericho grabs his boot to slow him down a bit.

A clothesline puts Batista outside and leaves Edge alone in the ring….where he’s booed out of the building. Well that’s rather surprising. Batista gets sent face first into the steps and we’re down to Jericho vs. Edge in the ring. Edge gets the better of the fight but gets loudly booed when loading up the Edgecution. The Walls attempt gets a much better reaction, though Edge reversing into a small package isn’t as well received. Back up and Jericho pokes him in the eye, setting up the full Walls of Jericho.

The hold is pulled back into the middle until Batista finally makes a save with the clothesline. Edge takes Batista down with an Edgecution for two as Jericho is banged up on the floor. The spear is loaded up but for some reason Jericho cuts Edge down on the way to Batista. A spinebuster gives Batista two on Jericho but this time it’s Edge sending the big man outside. That gives us another battle of the Canadians and another loud Y2J chant. Batista gets dropkicked off the apron but the distraction lets Edge spear Jericho down to retain.

Rating: D+. The odd crowd reactions threw things off here, though they’re not quite as out there as you might think when you remember Edge teasing a heel turn as of late. Now that being said, you would think the hometown deal would be enough to overcome the recent cheating but that wasn’t the case here. On top of that, the match didn’t have a ton of heat and was a string of one on one matches instead of all three at once. Edge retaining is fine, though Batista is getting bigger and bigger every week.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle in a Wrestlemania rematch. Eddie cheated (kind of) to win at Wrestlemania in Angle’s last match for about five months. Angle is back now, though while he was on the shelf he cost Eddie the WWE Championship so Eddie is out for revenge and to prove that he can hang with Angle on an even playing field. This has been the best set up feud for the whole show and the match should be able to live up to the hype.

Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero

Angle has Luther Reigns with him. Feeling out process to start as the odd fans are cheering for Angle here. Shockingly enough Angle is more than fine against Eddie on the mat so Eddie tries for the ankle. He’ll settle for a headlock instead so Angle reverses into a quick keylock. Eddie armdrags him straight into an armbar but it’s time to start the rolling German suplexes. That doesn’t work either as Eddie reverses the second into the ankle lock as the wrestling lesson continues. Angle reverses into the real thing but Eddie puts his own on at the same time. It doesn’t last long, though cool idea there.

A rope finally saves Eddie so Reigns gets in a cheap shot like a good lackey should do. That means another ankle lock before Angle finally switches gears a bit for something close to an STF. With Eddie down, Angle starts untying Eddie’s boot but the delay lets Eddie get in a kick to the face. It’s right back to Eddie’s ankle until Eddie gets in an Angle Slam of his own. Eddie makes his comeback with right hands but the ankle isn’t exactly sturdy.

It’s fine enough for the Three Amigos so Eddie goes up for the frog splash, only to get caught with the running belly to belly superplex. Angle’s Angle Slam is countered into a DDT and another frog splash attempt misses. The Angle Slam gets two so Angle rips the boot off to set up the ankle lock again.

The roll through sends Angle into the referee so Eddie hits Angle and Reigns with the boot. Of course Eddie throws the boot away and falls down instead of hitting a frog splash, which would have made more sense. Eddie hits the frog splash for two a few seconds later and yells at the referee on the kickout. That’s enough for Angle to pick the ankle and put on the grapevine to make Eddie tap.

Rating: C+. What exactly are they saving all the time for on this show? That’s the first match to break thirteen minutes and nothing else has even hit nine. There are three matches left on the card and nearly an hour and a half left in the show, but nothing has even hit fifteen minutes yet. Did Diva Dodgeball need the extra time?

Anyway, this wasn’t all that great as the first few minutes were looking like the start of a thirty minute classic but then they just jumped the stolen finishers (which is becoming a rather tired trope) and had Angle break the ankle down for the win. This was dying for another eight minutes of build towards the finish but for some reason this show has to go as fast as it can because of reasons.

We recap HHH vs. Eugene. HHH found out that Eugene was his favorite wrestler and agreed to use him to help get the World Title if HHH could eventually make Eugene want to quit. In other words, it was a story that was way more complicated than it needed to be and Eugene, who started off as a very fun, unique character has turned into the clueless putz that cost HHH the title. Therefore, HHH must destroy him to prove that he’s better than a mentally disabled person who doesn’t know how to wrestle but imitates wrestling he watched on TV as a kid. In the second biggest Raw match on Summerslam. Of course.

HHH vs. Eugene

No one is at ringside for a bit of a surprise. HHH wins an early slugout but Eugene elbows him in the face so it’s time head outside. That means a chance for HHH to hide behind Lilian Garcia, allowing him to take over again. It’s time to load up the announcers’ table but Eugene blocks a suplex to the floor. Some right hands in the corner set up a Flair Flop and HHH has a bad knee. Believe it or not, it’s a way for HHH to sucker Eugene in again and outsmart him for a cheap shot.

A backbreaker keeps Eugene in trouble as JR freaks out of the fake injury. He certainly must have loathed Bret Hart then. The fans think Eugene sucks so his comeback isn’t exactly well received. HHH offers a handshake but this time Eugene is ready for him and pulls it into a Rock Bottom. The People’s Elbow is countered with the spinebuster to a face pop as the trip into the bizarre continues. HHH chokes away and it’s back to the floor for a whip into the steps.

Back in and HHH slowly beats on him, setting up the sleeper because this match needed a sleeper. Eugene escapes and hits a backdrop, followed by a middle finger and the Stunner. That’s enough to send HHH outside for a breather though and here’s Ric Flair because HHH is actually in trouble. The big boot into the legdrop connects but Flair gets knocked off the apron. Eugene goes up top and dives into the Pedigree but spins out, setting up a Pedigree on HHH instead. Flair puts his foot on the rope so it’s just a two, earning an ejection. Cue William Regal to knock Flair cold with the brass knuckles as the Pedigree finishes Eugene.

Rating: D. Well thank goodness for that. After a few months of getting frustrated, the great and mighty HHH came back and beat the comedy act in a match at one of the biggest show of the year. All it cost Eugene was all of the good will he built up too, but at least HHH got the big win. This whole story was really stupid and a huge waste of time, which really doesn’t work when it boils down to HHH needing almost fifteen minutes to beat a comedy guy. It was just bad all around and didn’t help anyone other than HHH, who didn’t get that much out of it anyway.

And then, Diva Dodgeball with the Diva Search girls basically in swimsuits while the Raw women are in matching gear. Before the game starts, Coach tells us about some trash talk that happened after Raw went off the air. They proceed to play dodgeball, which is in no way shape or form an excuse to have good looking women in barely existing clothing running around. The Diva Search girls dominate and win. Trish yells about the refereeing and then blames Victoria, triggering a fight. This took up nearly six minutes, which is about seven minutes too long.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Undertaker

No recap for this one because the build hasn’t exactly been thrilling. JBL won the title earlier in the summer and needed an opponent so Undertaker showed up. For some reason JBL decided he wasn’t afraid of Undertaker and brought out a mini version, who Undertaker wound up beating up instead. Then JBL brought in Orlando Jordan as his Chief of Staff because he needed a designated lackey.

Undertaker knocks him to the floor early on and the beating begins, including JBL’s arm going into the steps. Back in and JBL hits a quick swinging neckbreaker before going up top for a good looking top rope shoulder. An armbar doesn’t get JBL anywhere so Undertaker pulls on the arm as well and hits Old School. Undertaker grabs an ugly triangle choke until Jordan pulls the foot under the rope.

With that not working, Undertaker hits a big boot to JBL but misses a running version in the corner to let JBL take out the knee. The leg is wrapped around the post and a Jordan distraction lets JBL smash the leg with a chair. Undertaker gets sent into the barricade so Jordan can get in a few shots before sending him inside. The fans start the Wave as the leg work continues.

The leglock goes on as JBL is smart enough to just throw on a hold and let the fans die down. It’s not exactly thrilling for the fans at home but it’s a smart idea here. Undertaker fights out and pulls JBL down into a quickly broken kneebar. They head outside again with Undertaker hitting the apron legdrop. The announcers start chanting for the Spanish table but JBL snaps the throat across the top for a breather. Again JBL takes too long going up though and it’s a superplex for two.

JBL goes right back to the knee with a spinning toehold of all things but Undertaker hits a sloppy release spinebuster for two more. The jumping clothesline puts JBL down again and Snake Eyes into…a running clothesline instead of the big boot gives Undertaker another two. The chokeslam gets a delayed near fall, which seems to shock the announcers. Who hasn’t kicked out of a chokeslam? Jordan gets up for a quick distraction and it’s the Clothesline From JBL to give the champ two of his own. The referee gets bumped though and it’s a double big boot for a double knockdown.

Jordan throws the belt in for a shot to the head and the very delayed near fall with Jordan grabbing the hand to slap the mat. Undertaker finally beats up Jordan but eats another Clothesline From JBL. With the referee still down, JBL rains down right hands in the corner which is only done to set up the Last Ride. Jordan is back in with the belt so Undertaker takes it away and hits JBL for the DQ.

Rating: D. The thing is, it’s not even the worst match in the world. It felt like it was straight out of the HHH/Ric Flair Greatest Hits playbook with Jordan being the worst Flair impersonator of all time. The leg work was fine and JBL still wasn’t horrible yet, but the ending was pretty lame with Jordan being pathetic and JBL’s finisher not being able to do much damage. It’s not so much horrible or even bad as much as it is uninteresting and uninspired, which made for a very long seventeen minutes.

Post match the beatdown continues with the bloody JBL being chokeslammed through the roof of the limo. JBL does a stretcher job, guaranteeing a rematch. Of note: at some point during the match, a fan tried to climb onto the limo and security kept him from not only, you know, climbing onto the limo but also breaking the roof and injuring himself/ruining the spot.

Cole shows us a replay and tells us to listen. There’s no sound.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging after winning a battle royal and pinning Benoit in a tag match. Here’s your exchange that would never happen today: Lawler: “Hey JR you got a camera on you?” JR, dripping with sarcasm: “Yeah right here in my pocket.” The fans are all over Earl Hebner with the YOU SCREWED BRET chants as they stare each other down at the bell. Benoit drives him into the corner and takes Orton down for a rather early chinlock. A test of strength goes to Orton but he misses a knee drop.

Benoit is right back with the armbar and armdrags him down into another armbar. That’s reversed as well with Orton grabbing a Sharpshooter of his own. Benoit slips out of that and tries a Crossface, sending Orton to the floor where he posts Benoit to really take over. A second posting keeps the champ down and Orton drapes him over the top rope for good measure.

Something like a DDT on the apron gets Benoit out of trouble but he misses a dive through the ropes, sending himself HARD into the barricade. Back in and Orton hits the over the shoulder neckbreaker for two, followed by the chinlock. Benoit fights up for stereo crossbodies but gets up first for a northern lights suplex. A release German suplex has Orton in more trouble and the Sharpshooter goes on.

That’s good for two arm drops until Orton makes the rope so they’re both exhausted. Some rolling German suplexes put Orton down again but he gets his feet up to block the Swan Dive (FREAKING OW MAN!). The cover is countered into a Crossface but Orton rolls out. Back up and Benoit tries it again but Orton spins him around into the RKO for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. It’s not a masterpiece but it was a good, long, well put together match with a completely clean ending that made Orton look like the better man. The new heel on top is long overdue and it’s nice to see Orton, who has gotten a lot better in a hurry, win the title here. Benoit’s title reign was very respectable and he beat HHH a few times, which is about as good as you’re going to get. It’s a rather good main event, though not exactly a classic.

Post match Benoit gets back in and shakes his hand, demanding that Orton be a man. Orton shakes his hand and Benoit leaves in peace, allowing Orton to pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is two different halves and it’s as noticeable as you’re ever going to see. The first four matches are all short and need more time while the remaining four, as in the big matches, either fail to live up to the hype or just aren’t very good in the first place. This show needed to be reshuffled a bit with some extra time being given to a few other matches. Stuff like Diva Dodgeball and the opener could have been cut to give the time to other matches. It would have done the show a lot of good, but there was only so much this show could do.

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