Survivor Series 2004
Date: November 14, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is an interesting show as the two big matches are a match where the impact comes over the next four weeks and another where there is little more than bragging rights on the line. The build for this show hasn’t been the strongest, though a lot of that is due to the changes taking place in the company. There are some fresh talents coming in and they’re still finding their footing, so it should be interesting to see where this show takes us. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at the show’s history, which means about five of the seventeen shows get a look. The video talks about trust and how only the strong will survive. Fair enough, though I’d have rather had more of the historical stuff.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Spike Dudley

Spike is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. It’s a brawl to start with Rey taking a shot to the ribs and Chavo getting double teamed in the corner. Kidman doesn’t waste time in dropkicking Spike to the floor and here’s Spike to clothesline Kidman to the other side of the floor. That leave Rey to sunset flip Chavo for two and armdrag him outside. Spike replaces Chavo and stomps Rey down in the corner as Chavo comes back in.

A double clothesline puts Spike and Chavo down at the same time, leaving Rey to hurricanrana Kidman off the apron. Chavo picks Rey up and throws him into a seated senton Kidman, setting up a dive onto both of them. Spike’s dive just hits floor in a nasty crash but he’s fine enough to run back in and break up Chavo’s belly to back on Kidman. Rey gets whipped hard into the corner, leaving the other three to set up a Tower of Doom with Spike getting the worst.

Kidman was just the electric chair so he BK Bombs Rey but gets posted by Chavo. Spike’s running headbutt to the ribs puts Chavo down, only to have Rey come back with a 619 to the champ. Kidman breaks up the West Coast Pop and drops a slingshot legdrop on Chavo. Rey takes Kidman to the floor though, allowing Spike to pin Chavo to retain.

Rating: C+. Pretty good choice for an opener here with Rey and Chavo handling the dives and a Tower of Doom before it was a cliché. Spike retaining the title isn’t the most thrilling thing in the world but I think I could go for that over another Rey or Chavo reign. Kidman has already fallen off a lot and at the moment there isn’t another better option.

Gene Snitsky comes up to Heidenreich to compliment his poetry. Heidenreich likes what Snitsky does to babies. An uncomfortable amount of grunting ensues.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin

Christian, now with Just Close Your Eyes for theme music and with Tyson Tomko in his corner, is challenging. Shelton goes with a hammerlock to start and Christian bails to the ropes to avoid the wrestling on the mat. Back up and Shelton blasts him with a shoulder to show off some power for a change. Christian is already frustrated and slaps the champ in the face before sending him over the ropes.

The cat is skinned and Shelton hits a springboard Blockbuster (looked like it was supposed to be a clothesline but he rotated too far) for two. For some reason that wakes Christian up even more and he hammers away in the corner. Shelton sticks the landing on a monkey flip and threatens Christian to the floor with a superkick, leaving the announcers to discuss the origins of the Oklahoma roll. A Tomko distraction lets Christian kick him into the barricade and the angry Christian pounds away.

The neckbreaker gets two and we hit the chinlock to stay on Shelton’s neck. Shelton gets thrown outside with someone’s elbow pad flying onto the announcers’ table in the process. Back in and Christian’s reverse tornado DDT gets two but Shelton reverses a whip to send Christian chest first into the buckle. A Jackknife rollup gets two and a reverse slingshot suplex (not quite a fisherman’s JR) is good for the same on Christian.

Shelton misses the Stinger Splash though and it’s an inverted DDT to give Christian two of his own. With nothing else working, Tomko slides the title in and even though it hits the referee in the foot, he doesn’t actually notice. It doesn’t work for Christian, who gets the title tossed, only to have Tomko kick Shelton in the face for two. Back up and Christian tries the Unprettier, which is countered into a quick exploder to retain the title.

Rating: B. This is a good example of a difficulty of five but an execution of ten. They went with a simple story but did it so well that it was easy to get behind as you wanted to see the more athletic champion overcome the cheating and retain. It’s a story that you can get into in a single viewing and Shelton played his role very well. Good match and I could go for another one.

Kurt Angle doesn’t like how Edge portrayed him in his book. He did like the chapter on Edge winning the World Title….or at least he would have if there had been one. Edge laughs it off because his team will win tonight and he’ll get a title shot. Angle goes off for his match but Eugene comes in to list off Angle’s resume and sing YOU SUCK.

Wrestlemania Recall: STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!

Team Angle vs. Team Guerrero

Kurt Angle, Carlito, Mark Jindrak, Luther Reigns

Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, Big Show, Rob Van Dam

Cena charges to the ring to chase Carlito off and beats Jesus up the aisle. Carlito keeps running and Cena shouts about Carlito sending his guys to stab him. With Jesus getting in a cheap shot, Carlito and Jesus jump into a car and run away. Everyone else gets in a fight on the floor and we get the opening bell, meaning Carlito is eliminated due to running away (in other words, he was injured).

We officially start with Show chopping Jindrak in the corner and handing it off to Van Dam for a spinning kick to the face. Rolling Thunder gives Eddie two and the headscissors/armdrag combination puts Jindrak and Reigns down. Angle comes in and punches Guerrero down before handing it back to Reigns for a backbreaker into a side slam. Jindrak’s full nelson is countered with a trip into the buckle but Kurt dives over to break up the hot tag attempt.

The chinlock goes on and switches into a front facelock before it’s back to Jindrak for more entry level offense. Actually hang on as he throws in a hip swivel in between the elbows. Eddie finally gets up and brings Rob in to punch Angle. Jindrak tries to save Angle from the Five Star but takes it instead, allowing Kurt to roll Rob up with the ropes for the elimination. Eddie is right back with a rollup in the ropes to get rid of Jindrak (with a fast count) to make it 3-2.

Big Show comes in to face Angle, who bails out so Reigns can do it instead. Reigns finally goes after the big bandage on the ankle, meaning it’s all of five extra seconds before the chokeslam can get rid of him. That leaves Angle by himself so he grabs the ankle lock, which is countered to send him into the aisle. Angle tries to leave but runs into Rob, who sends him backing up the aisle….and right into Show, with Angle reaching up and finding the very tall head to realize how much trouble he’s in. Back in and the FU into the frog splash is enough for the pin.

Rating: D. I was having flashbacks to the Hulkamaniacs vs. the Million Dollar Team from 1989 as the faces were never in serious trouble. There was almost no doubt after just a few minutes because Jindrak and Reigns were the lamest of goons against a bunch of top stars. They never did anything beyond stomps and slams and it wasn’t exactly believable that they could be a threat. There was no drama here and it showed badly.

Maven doesn’t like the suggestion that he doesn’t belong in the main event…and gets jumped by Snitsky. The beatdown is on and Maven is left bloody.

We recap Heidenreich vs. Undertaker. I’d go into the details here but Heidenreich is the definition of a monster for Undertaker to slay. There have been a lot of them over the years but Heidenreich is one of the lowest of the low. He tried to crush Undertaker with a car, which worked as well as you might have expected. Then he read poetry and seemed to sexually assault Michael Cole. Do I need to continue the explanation?

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Undertaker punches him into the corner to start and the referee wisely bails out to the floor. There’s a big boot to put Heidenreich down and Undertaker sends the arm into the corner. Some pulls on the arm look to set up Old School but Heyman offers a distraction so Heidenreich can break it up with a low blow.

Undertaker gets crotched against the post, which Cole thinks may be a kink in his armor. They head outside with Undertaker taking over off the shots to the ribs and the elbows on the apron. The apron legdrop completes the standard sequence and now Old School can connect. A Downward Spiral has Heidenreich in more trouble but the running boot in the corner misses.

Undertaker gets knocked off the apron so Heidenreich can hammer away against the barricade for two back inside. The chinlock goes on for a bit until a clothesline gives Heidenreich two more. Undertaker gets in a suplex and it’s time for the slugout. The clothesline takes Heidenreich down and it’s Snake Eyes into the big boot.

Right hands get Heidenreich out of the chokeslam and a Boss Man Slam gives him two. The punches in the corner are countered into a weak Last Ride with Heidenreich grabbing the rope for the break. Undertaker slams his way out of a sleeper in a hurry and now the chokeslam connects. The Tombstone finally finishes Heidenreich off.

Rating: D. This was far worse than bad as it was really, really boring. Heidenreich had nothing that felt like a threat to Undertaker and the match itself was much longer than it needed to be at about sixteen minutes. The villains continue to be weak on Smackdown with Undertaker dispatching this goon without much serious trouble, as he should have done.

Eric Bischoff says Maven may not be wrestling tonight and since there is so little time left, Bischoff won’t be naming a replacement. His vacation is too valuable to listen to HHH’s complaints about a replacement.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Lita. Trish mocked Lita for getting pregnant by Kane and referred to her as the Kiss of Death for destroying so many careers over the years. Lita lost the baby thanks to Snitsky but Trish wouldn’t shut up, with some of the best heel promos the women’s division has ever seen. Lita wants to kill her and if she wins the title as well, so be it.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish is defending and starts by hiding in the corner. That’s fine with Lita who slugs away and heads outside where a chair shots DQ’s Lita at just over a minute.

Post match Lita stays on her as Trish’s nose is busted.

Theodore Long comes in to see Team Guerrero and asks if he can talk to Cena alone. Show takes off his towel and Cena is a little disturbed. Long has some good news for him: Cena gets his US Title shot this week on Smackdown.

We recap JBL vs. Booker T. Booker earned the title shot by winning a title shot and the rest of the feud has been built around JBL’s lackey Orlando Jordan vs. interviewer Josh Matthews, because this feud doesn’t have the strongest legs.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T.

JBL is defending and will leave Smackdown if he loses. Feeling out process to start with JBL shouting that this isn’t WCW. Some right hands have JBL in trouble so he hits Booker in the back of the head to take over. Booker’s clothesline doesn’t do him much good as a swinging neckbreaker gives the champ two. A much better clothesline sends JBL outside, though he’s fine enough to poke Booker in the eye.

They fight over the announcers’ table and it’s Jordan getting a cheap shot in from behind. We hit the cobra clutch on Booker, followed by some elbow drops for two. And now, just to mix it up a bit, we hit the chinlock. With that broken up, JBL heads up top and gets superplexed right back down. They head outside with a Book End dropping JBL again though Jordan keeps it on the floor.

JBL and Jordan both get taken out and it’s Booker’s missile dropkick for tow back inside. The Houston Hangover misses but Booker is right back with more kicks to the face. Another Jordan distraction lets JBL get two off a DDT….and the ref gets bumped. It’s Jordan coming in again and this time bringing in a chair. Cue Josh Matthews to take the chair away but JBL kicks him in the face. Booker gets in his own kicks but the second referee takes his time diving in for two, allowing Jordan to make the save. The Book End hits Jordan but JBL hits Booker with the title to retain.

Rating: D. Back to back overly long matches from the blue show with JBL and Jordan being as dull of a combination as you can get. The JBL title reign has lost what little charm it had thanks to the Jordan addition, as the guy isn’t adding anything and was the focal point of this feud, despite being that bad. Booker was trying but he needs something better than this reheated HHH/Ric Flair formula.

Evolution has a pep talk before the main event. HHH leaves and Batista talks about wanting to have his night running Raw. The seeds are being planted.

We recap the Raw elimination tag. Bischoff is tired of being in charge so he’s taking a month off. Therefore, the winning team gets to run Raw a week at a time for a month. They have all made it clear that if they win, they’re coming for the World Title, which is about as logical as you can get. The problem though is there’s little reason to watch this show because it’s all about the next four weeks.

Team HHH vs. Team Orton

HHH, Batista, Gene Snitsky, Edge

Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Maven

There’s no Maven to start and Ric Flair is at ringside to make it 5-3. Benoit gets aggressive with Edge in the corner to start and elbows him in the face to take over. That’s enough to bring in Snitsky and Orton, which is quite the strange looking showdown. Their slugout doesn’t last long and it’s off to Jericho vs. HHH to keep up the alternating matchups. Orton is right back in to hammer on HHH with Flair panicking about HHH taking such a beating.

The jumping knee to the face gets HHH out of trouble and it’s Batista hitting his powerslam for two. Edge comes in and gets sent into the corner, allowing the quick tag to Benoit, who beats up everyone in short order. The rolling German suplexes have HHH in trouble and Benoit suplexes Edge onto him. A double Swan Dive gets two with Snitsky having to make a save.

The Sharpshooter has HHH In trouble but Snitsky makes another save. That’s enough for HHH to hit a quick Pedigree so Edge can pin Benoit for the first elimination. Jericho comes in next and gets taken down by a neckbreaker but HHH and Snitsky gets in a shouting match. HHH gets shoved down so Batista comes in to go nose to nose with Snitsky. Batista realizes what’s going on and breaks up the Walls on HHH.

Flair gets caught breaking up the Walls again and that means an ejection. With the referee taking care of Flair, Batista blasts Jericho and Orton with a double clothesline. Orton breaks up the big clothesline to Jericho with a belt shot and it’s a running enziguri to eliminate Batista. That’s not it for Batista to leave in peace though so he blasts Jericho with the big clothesline and then heads out. Snitsky comes in for stomping and choking instead of covering because he’s new at this. It’s off to Edge, who gets taken down with a sleeper drop but Snitsky breaks up the hot tag attempt. Everything breaks down again but here’s a bandaged up Maven to come in and go after Snitsky.

Maven’s middle rope bulldog takes HHH down but Snitsky caves his head in with a chair shot that would get him tossed out of the building today. Here it’s just a DQ, though HHH pins Maven with no trouble a second later. We’re down to HHH/Edge vs. Orton/Jericho with Jericho slipping out of the Pedigree but getting speared down for two. HHH and Edge smile down at Orton, who says bring it on.

The double stomping is on with Edge stomping away and handing it off to HHH, with JR losing his mind that Edge won’t get out of the ring. HHH’s DDT gets two and he argues with the referee, allowing Orton to roll him up for two. Edge comes in and accidentally spears HHH to give Orton the easy pin. We’re down to HHH vs. Orton with the former starting fast with a low blow. Orton gets up again and counters the Pedigree into the RKO for the pin. The Orton vs. HHH part was barely a minute and a half long.

Rating: B-. Perfectly watchable match here with Snitsky still being protected and Maven still being Maven. Other than that they’ve done a good job of making Orton look like a threat to the title, but the two Canadians are just kind of there with little reason to believe that they’re going to be a threat t o the title. That leaves us waiting until probably the Royal Rumble for a new challenger, meaning it’s time for winter vacation without missing any time from the show.

Orton poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a really weird one as it contains a lot of perfectly watchable to good wrestling, but absolutely nothing that changes anything long term. The main event stipulation lasts a grand total of four episodes of Monday Night Raw, and while that might change something, there’s no guarantee that any of this could actually matter. The Smackdown stuff was even less important with the two main matches being long and dull, leaving us with no one to challenge JBL at the moment.

Overall, the show is a rather quick sit (only a little over two and a half hours) with nothing too bad (boring, but not terrible). It could have been worse, but the biggest problem is how nothing actually matters in the end. Like I said, they’re in a big transitional period right now and while they probably have long term goals in mind, this is a rather hard stretch to get through because the villains feel like placeholders, which is the case with most of the stories at the moment. It can get better, but we have some long stretches to get through first.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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John Cena’s Greatest Rivalries
Commentators: Jim Cornette, Dean Hill, Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

Another case where the name kind of sums up the whole thing and there isn’t much else to say. Cena has faced pretty much everyone in the modern era and we’re getting a look at some of his bigger ones here. That could cover quite a few different people and I’m not sure who all to expect. Let’s get to it.

Note that this is the WWE Vault version and the VERY slimmed down edition, running just shy of two hours rather than the full seven and a half hour full version. Also note that this was released in October 2014 so some names won’t be included.

We start with Batista, with Cena talking about how important his time in OVW was for his early days. There has not been an influx of talent like that in a long time (true) and they all wanted to have THE spot.

From OVW TV, February 23, 2002.

OVW Title: Prototype vs. Leviathan

Leviathan (naturally Batista), with Synn, is defending and commentary points out that Cena lost his first match in OVW last week….to David Flair? Cena is pretty worried to start and gets kicked down before Leviathan works on the arm. Leviathan is dropped across the top rope as this is dominance thus far. An elbow to the face drops Cena again and an elbow drop gets two. The full nelson slam (Leviathan’s finisher) is loaded up but Cena’s manager Kenny Bolin offers a distraction, allowing Cena to get in a low blow.

Three straight belly to back suplexes give Cena two and he whips Leviathan hard into the corner. A Russian legsweep stays on the bad back but Leviathan blocks another attempt. The comeback is on and now the full nelson slam connects, only for Leviathan to miss…something we don’t see due to a replay. Synn and Bolin get in a fight on the floor as Leviathan hits a powerbomb. Some other guy named Brody gets in the ring with an ether rag to knock Leviathan out. What’s left of Cena gets the pin and the title at 7:11.

Rating: C+. This is a match where you have to keep the words “it’s developmental” in mind. The match was in front of a few hundred people and a single major television market so yeah, it was designed to be very simple. It was clear that they saw something in both guys though, which is why they would both be doing house shows in a few months and then get called up shortly thereafter.

Next up is JBL, who Cena compares to a hard nosed coach who pushed him hard and beat him up even harder.

From Wrestlemania XXI.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena

JBL is defending and his entrance (which came first) is cut off here but it’s not his DVD. Cena starts fast with a leapfrog but charges into a boot in the corner. The running shoulder staggers Cena again and a swinging neckbreaker gives JBL two. Some choking on the ropes has Cena in more trouble and a catapult into the rope keeps him in that general area. Another neckbreaker drops Cena for two and JBL grabs the sleeper, which goes as you might expect.

Back up and Cena manages a double clothesline but gets sent outside for another neckbreaker. A superplex drops Cena again but JBL can’t follow up due to the whole crashing down onto the mat as well. The delayed cover gets two so JBL goes up (that can’t be a good idea) and dives into a powerslam to leave both of them down. Cena is able to make the comeback and hits a backdrop, allowing him to initiate the finishing sequence. The Clothesline From JBL misses and the FU gives Cena the pin and the title at 11:28.

Rating: C. This has never been that good of a match and that was clear again here. JBL beats him up, Cena shrugs it off, makes the comeback and wins. It didn’t help that the result was the most obvious imaginable, but dang this would have been better suited as a wild brawl to build the slightest bit of tension (like they did with the rematch, which was outstanding and would have been a much better choice).

We’re not wasting time in getting to the big one as Randy Orton is next up. Cena wants to prove that he’s the best so he faces Orton, who is one of the smoothest wrestlers he’s ever seen (fair). Cena praises Orton’s natural ability, comparing it to Shawn Michaels, saying that it’s not something he himself can do.

From Summerslam 2007.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Cena is defending. We get an old school weapons check and the staredown before the big lockup (they’re definitely going for the big fight feel here). Cena grabs a headlock, allowing him to YELL REALLY LOUDLY IN ORTON’S EAR (he’s an all time great but he can’t hide his spot calling to save his life).

Orton reverses into a shoulder and headlock of his own to a ROAR as this is a very anti-Cena crowd. Back up and it’s too early for the STFU, with Orton bailing straight to the ropes. Orton stomps away but gets taken down with a bulldog for two. Cena’s crossbody misses though and Orton is rather happy at the misfire. A running shoulder sends Cena off the apron and into the announcers’ table for the nasty crash.

Back in and the chinlock goes on, followed by some shots to the head to scramble the brains even more. The big knee drop misses but Orton is right back with another chinlock. That’s switched into a sleeper but this time Cena powers up and starts the comeback. The Shuffle connects but the FU is countered into the backbreaker to put Cena on the apron. Orton hits the hanging DDT and loads up the RKO, which Cena breaks up without much effort.

Cena’s charge sends him crashing out to the floor though and Orton is rather pleased again. Back in Cena grabs a swinging neckbreaker for a breather, followed by the top rope Fameasser. It’s still too early for the FU though as Orton slips out and gets in a neck snap over the top. Orton tries the Punt but gets pulled into the STF, with the long crawl getting him over to the ropes. The RKO gets two but Cena pops back up with the FU to retain at 21:21.

Rating: B-. This was one of (if not the very) their first big time matches against each other and Orton just wasn’t quite there yet. Cena has been the king for a few years now and Orton was an up and coming villain but he needed some more main event seasoning. That would come in time, but for now, it’s really more of a footnote than anything else.

We get to HHH, with Cena talking about how big of a star he is and how important it is to face him at some point.

From Monday Night Raw, October 19, 2009.

John Cena vs. HHH

Points for not doing the Wrestlemania match. Cena grabs some headlock takeovers to start and then takes HHH down again for an early one. HHH bails into the ropes and sneers as only he can. Back in and they fight over a top wristlock until HHH knocks him into the corner. Another whip into a different corner has Cena down but he sends HHH crashing over the corner as we take a break.

We come back with Cena fighting back and hitting a quick suplex. A Pedigree attempt is countered into the STF but Cena pulls him away from the ropes, allowing HHH to make it to the rope (of course). The Pedigree gives HHH two and we take another break. We come back with HHH still hammering away and hitting another Pedigree for another two. An AA gives Cena the same and they’re both down for a needed breather. Back up and Cena tries another AA but gets reversed into the Pedigree to give HHH the clean pin at 20:17.

Rating: B. Of course it was good as these two almost always are, and it’s nice to see a match that might fly underneath the radar a bit. HHH was still one of the biggest names around at this point and having him face Cena was a big deal. You could put these two together and it would automatically feel big, which is what they had going on here. Good match too.

Naturally we get the Rock, with Cena referring to it as Rocky (as Apollo Creed) vs. Cena (as Rocky Balboa). Ehh……not exactly but it’s his DVD.

From Wrestlemania XXIX.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Rock

Rock is defending. Cena shoulders him for an early knockdown but gets caught in a headlock. That’s broken up and Cena is knocked outside for the breather as they’re clearly playing the slow game here. Back in and Rock wins a slugout, allowing him to hit some elbows to the chest on the floor. Cena fights back and grabs the chinlock/headlock, which is reversed into a sleeper.

That’s broken up as well and Rock hits a Samoan drop into the Sharpshooter. Cena powers out again as we’re somehow more than ten minutes into this ridiculously slow match. The ProtoBomb connects but, believe it or not, Cena takes too much time and the Shuffle is broken up. A Rock Bottom attempt is countered into…well it’s a crossface but Cena’s arm is nowhere near the right place (and Cole calls it the STF despite Cena not touching Rock’s legs).

Either way it’s broken up so Rock can take him down again, only to get pulled into the actual STF. Rock powers out and hits a Rock Bottom for two more. The AA gives Cena two more but the top rope Fameasser misses. The spinebuster and the People’s Elbow get two and Cena bails out to the floor. Back in and another Rock Bottom connects for another two and, believe it or not, they’re both down again.

Rock tries the People’s Elbow (with You Can’t See Me) but charges into the AA for two more. Back up and Cena hits his own Rock Bottom for two so he tries the Shuffle. This time though he holds onto the ropes to avoid a Rock Bottom (smart) but the AA is countered into a Rock Bottom for another near fall. They both miss finisher attempts and Rock hits a DDT. Cena gets back up, escapes the Rock Bottom, and hits another AA for the pin and the title at 23:58.

Rating: C. If there was a wrestling textbook, this would be the perfect example of a match that did not need the title. Rock wasn’t sticking around so why in the world would you think he was holding onto the thing? The other problem is this stopped being a match and turned into a collection of finishers and stealing taunts. It makes sense to run the match back at Wrestlemania, but this did NOT need to be for the title.

Post match they talk a lot and Cena gives Rock the ring for the show of respect. Rock takes his sweet time leaving and then endorses Cena to wrap it up.

Cena praises his rivals to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The key thing to remember here is that this is NOT the complete version. As it is, this would barely make the discount bin at Wal-Mart. However, when you consider that this was about a fourth of the whole version, which featured several more rivals (as the main screen is set up like a fighting game select screen) and matches involving these people, there is a lot of potential here. Cena has had several other great rivalries over his career and a look back at them is a fine idea. What we got here was a pretty lame use of two hours, though I’d be curious to see the whole thing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 8, 2008
Location: Allen County War Memorial Coliseum, Fort Wayne, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Unforgiven and the big story on the Raw side is that Chris Jericho jumped into the Scramble match but also won the World Title. That isn’t going to sit well with a lot of people, including Shawn Michaels, who beat him last night. CM Punk never made it into the match as Randy Orton kicked him in the head, which is going to require some revenge. Let’s get to it.

Here is Unforgiven if you need a recap.

Here is Chris Jericho to get things going and he is rather pleased with himself. Last night, he faced a hypocrite named Shawn Michaels. Jericho takes his shirt off to show what Michaels did to him last night. It makes Michaels a hypocrite to have whipped Jericho like a dog and the people loved every second. What did Michaels even win though? It was an unsanctioned match so Michaels won nothing, but Jericho won something.

Last night, Jericho could barely stand up but he took CM Punk’s place and won the title. Batista was so close to winning the title but Jericho outsmarted him. Cue Mike Adamle, who says that Jericho stepped up to the plate last night, but Punk didn’t lose the title either. Punk isn’t here tonight, but he’ll get his rematch for the title next week in a cage. As for tonight, Jericho can face Batista.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Mickie James

James is challenging and Candice Michelle is at ringside. Phoenix wastes no time in taking her outside for a ram into the post before working on the arm back inside. A lifting armbar is countered though as James sits on Phoenix’s shoulders, followed by a neckbreaker. The Thesz press lets James hammer away but they seem to mistime something in the corner. Phoenix grabs a quick Alabama slam to retain.

Rating: C. There is only so much that can be done here, as they didn’t have much time. Phoenix using something other than a Glam Slam for the win was a nice change of pace though, as it gave a bit of a surprise. James losing clean isn’t a good sign though, as there isn’t much of a shot for her to get the title back anytime soon.

Phoenix and Michelle stare each other down post match.

Layla and Jamie Noble are in the back, with Noble begging her to be in his corner tonight. Layla calls that a surprise but he has a real surprise for her: Jillian Hall singing “Layla”. That doesn’t go so well, but Layla will be out there anyway. Promises of Olive Garden are made.

Jamie Noble vs. William Regal

Layla is here with Noble. Regal hammers away in the corner to start but gets taken down by a quick headscissors. That doesn’t work for Regal, who knocks him down and drops some knees, which have Layla cringing. Another knee to the head gets two but Noble is back up with a dropkick. That earns him a running knee to the head to give Regal a quick win.

Post match Regal says this kind of thing only happens in fairy tales and then leaves with Layla, who does look back at Noble on the way out.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Charlie Haas

This week, Haas is dressed as….JBL, meaning he’s in the trunk of JBL’s limo. Haas talks about being a big Texas blowhard who loves to hear himself talk. He does JBL’s Texas two step and JBL glares at him rather hard. JBL: “You’ve got to be kidding me.” JBL doesn’t like being disrespected like this and then walks out for the countout.

Post break JBL finds Batista talking to Kelly Kelly, who both find this funny. JBL says he and Batista are both main eventers and Batista should get why this is terrible. Batista says JBL and Charlie Haas have nothing in common, because Haas actually won tonight.

Rey Mysterio says he had to take some time off after Kane attacked him. He’s standing here though because Kane didn’t kill his spirit. Even though he’s always an underdog, he is no one’s victim.

Rey Mysterio/Evan Bourne vs. Miz/John Morrison

Bourne and Morrison go into the corner to start before Bourne snaps off an armdrag. Mysterio comes in to stay on the arm but Morrison kicks him down to take over. It’s off to Miz to work on Mysterio’s right arm (that looks so wrong) until Mysterio fights up and brings Bourne back in.

A top rope Meteora and an assisted moonsault get two on Miz but he knocks Bourne off the top. Morrison’s chinlock slows things down but Bourne manages to send them into each other. The much needed tag brings Mysterio back in to pick the pace back up including a 619 to Morrison. Air Bourne gives Bourne the pin.

Rating: C+. Nice match here with Mysterio giving Bourne a rub in a win. I can’t imagine them being a full time team, but Mysterio giving his approval to any new high flier is a useful tool. Miz and Morrison are the kind of guys who can get their momentum back without much trouble so the loss won’t hurt them.

Post match Kane appears on the Titantron to say he is facing Mysterio next week. Then Mysterio will see why he’s a victim, and Kane holds up his old mask for a weird moment.

Here is Randy Orton for a chat. Orton talks about how bad it is when you have a title in your grasp and have it taken away. He’s not talking about CM Punk, but rather himself. Orton lost his title because of an injury but he earned his shot, while Punk never did. Last night, Orton took Punk out to prevent him from being exposed in the Championship Scramble.

Cue Ted DiBiase, Cody Rhodes and Manu, with Rhodes not liking Orton taking credit for getting rid of Punk. Manu introduces himself for the Raw audience and DiBiase talks about Orton slapping Rhodes last week….and then gets slapped himself. Orton leaves and the young guys aren’t happy.

Manu/Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase vs. Kofi Kingston/Cryme Tyme

JTG and Rhodes lock up to start until Rhodes gets in a shot to the ribs. It’s already off to DiBiase, who misses a charge at Kingston. Manu pulls Kingston outside for a cheap shot and a headbutt connects back inside. Rhodes’ abdominal stretch has Kingston in trouble but he fights out, only to miss a crossbody. Kingston knocks Rhodes down though and brings Gaspard in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Manu grabs a belly to back neckbreaker for the fast pin.

Rating: C. This was Manu’s Raw debut and…yeah he’s only so interesting. There’s only so much you can get out of this short of a match with so many people around and Manu isn’t that great in the first place. He’s just a generic guy who is there because of his father, which isn’t exactly making him interesting to start. Maybe that can change, but he isn’t off to a great first few steps.

Classics On Demand: Race vs. Flair at Starrcade 1983.

Snitsky vs. Santino Marella

Non-title and Beth Phoenix is here with Marella. We see the Honk-A-Meter, which shows Marella at three weeks, putting him WAY ahead of the Mountie. Snitsky gets distracted by Phoenix to start but comes back with a clothesline. The boot misses in the corner though and Marella gets a rollup for a fast pin.

Kelly Kelly is in Mike Adamle’s office where she’s worried about CM Punk. Adamle says it’s ok but here is Chris Jericho to interrupt. Jericho doesn’t think it’s fair to have him face Batista, but Adamle says Jericho owes him a favor after last week. Adamle needs a main event caliber performance tonight, so the match is on.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Chris Jericho vs. Batista

Non-title and Lance Cade is here with Jericho. Batista starts fast and knocks him down, including the shoulders in the ribs. Jericho gets knocked outside…and here is Mike Adamle to say stop the match. This isn’t fair, so he’s going to even the score a bit.

Chris Jericho/John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Batista

We’re joined in progress with Jericho getting in a cheap shot from the apron and coming in. Batista fights up but gets knocked right back down, allowing JBL to drop some elbows. It’s back to Jericho, but Batista makes the clothesline comeback. Cade gets on the apron though and the Clothesline From JBL drops Batista, with Jericho stealing the pin.

Rating: C+. This was an interesting twist and I can go with having Batista coming after Jericho. It’s a good choice for a first challenger, even if Shawn Michaels would seem to be the obvious way to go. Then again, if Jericho beat Batista here, maybe they’re just going straight to Michaels vs. Jericho while Batista faces JBL. Again. As their previous matches were just so interesting.

Post match Cade and JBL beat on Batista but he fights back and hits a spear to JBL. Cade gets Batista Bombed and Batista stares at Jericho to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked it for the most part, as thankfully they have combined the best thing going on the show with the World Title scene, which is pretty far overdue. Jericho and Michaels have been doing the best stuff for such a long time now that it’s good to see it as the official top story. The rest of the show was just ok though, with a lot of short matches which didn’t have the chance to do much.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Battle Royal Collection
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon, Vince McMahon, Joey Styles, Bill Mercer, Tony Schiavone

Well, as usual the Vault saves me from having to come up with a catchy name for these things. It’s one of those deals where the idea is right there and we have a bunch of these to go through. This should be interesting as battle royals can go in all kinds of directions, often out of nowhere. Let’s get to it.

From Smackdown, January 13, 2006.

World Heavyweight Championship: Battle Royal

Bobby Lashley, JBL, Paul London, Brian Kendrick, Sylvan, Nunzio, Super Crazy, Simon Dean, Matt Hardy, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Mark Henry, Rey Mysterio, Kurt Angle, Orlando Jordan, Vito, Animal, William Regal, Psicosis, Paul Burchill

For the vacant title after Batista got injured. Angle is a surprise so JBL goes after him and is quickly suplexed. Angle tosses JBL and Vito so a bunch of people jump Angle at once. An early elimination attempt is blocked as Angle slips back under the ropes, allowing him to go after Mysterio. That’s broken up and Mysterio can’t get rid of Jordan. Animal and Henry have the big slugout with Henry knocking him out.

We take a break and come back with Dean having been eliminated, followed by Nunzio and Jordan being tossed as well. Angle throws out Regal and Burchill but Henry jumps him from behind. Henry knocks Angle outside and follows him (neither are eliminated) as London is tossed. A gorilla press sends Angle through the announcers’ table to leave him laying and Henry gets back inside. Lashley gives Henry a running shoulder but knocks himself down, allowing Henry to kick him out. Kendrick is out as well and we take another break.

We come back with Hardy getting rid of Sylvan, leaving us with Hardy, Henry, Mercury, Mysterio and Nitro, plus Angle on the floor. Henry gets rid of Hardy and Mysterio eliminates Nitro and Mercury. Mysterio realizes he’s alone with Henry but loads up the Eddie Dance to show he’s serious. Some kicks to the leg stagger Henry and the 619 connects. Another one hits the ribs and Mysterio tries to pull him out, only to get sent to the apron.

A springboard is pulled out of the air though and Mysterio is tossed, but Angle gets up. The straps come down and Angle hammers away but Henry runs him over. Back up and an Angle Slam drops Henry, who is right back with a running splash in the corner. Angle manages a headscissors choke but Henry powerbombs the heck out of him for the break. They get up again and Angle hits a German suplex, followed by the front facelock. Angle can’t get him out but another headscissors lets Angle get the elimination and the title at 23:57.

Rating: B-. They weren’t hiding the fact that Angle was the heavy favorite here, but Henry felt like a monster in his own right. There’s nothing wrong with letting you know what’s going to happen from a mile away on occasion and that was the case here. Angle is a good choice for the last minute champion and the fans were into what they were seeing, so I’ll take what we got here.

From Saturday Night’s Main Event X.

Battle Royal

Honky Tonk Man, Sika, Ax, Smash, Koko B. Ware, Nikolai Volkoff, Hillbilly Jim, Andre The Giant, Hulk Hogan, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Paul Orndorff, Lanny Poffo, Butch Reed, Tama, Billy Jack Haynes, Haku, Blackjack Mulligan, Hercules, Ron Bass

Commentary completely ignores everyone other than Hogan and Andre during the entrances and…well yeah. Hogan and Andre square off but Orndorff and others jump them to start fast. Honky Tonk Man is out in a hurry and Andre gets rid of Sika as well. Andre beats up Jim and Mulligan before tossing out Haku with ease. One heck of a headbutt busts Poffo open and Andre tosses him in a hurry.

Poffo is gushing blood on the floor as he’s taken out on a stretcher as Andre beats on Mulligan (who stands 6’6 and weighs about 350lbs and is dwarfed by Andre). Bass is out and Mulligan follows him. Hogan dumps Volkoff as Ventura is begging to see Hogan vs. Andre. There goes Blair and Hogan is whipped into Andre and HERE WE GO!

Hogan slugs away and Ware of all people jumps Andre. Thanks you bird brain. Hogan dumps Orndorff but Andre grabs Hogan for the headbutts and tosses him with no trouble. We take a break and come back with Hogan still leaving and a bunch of people getting together to toss Andre, who takes the interest in the match with him.

Hercules tosses Tama and Ax is gone. Smash dumps Hillbilly and Ware dropkicks Reed out to get us down to four. We have a bizarre tag match of Smash and Hercules against Ware and Haynes (sounds Lethal Lotteryish). Ware is tossed and a double clotheslines has Haynes in trouble. Haynes manages to dump Smash though and slugs it out with Hercules. Cue Bobby Heenan on the apron for a distraction though and Hercules dumps Hayes for the win at 11:16.

Rating: C+. This was a tale of two battle royals, as you have everything before the Hogan vs. Andre showdown/eliminations and then everything after them. That’s where things fall apart, because there was no reason to care in the slightest after the two of them were gone. Andre was feeling like a monster though and the heat for the showdown with Hogan was great, so I’ll let the rest slide.

From Superstars, February 25, 1995.

Battle Royal

Sionne, Fatu, Jacob Blu, Jerry Lawler, King Kong Bundy, Duke Droese, Aldo Montoya, 1-2-3 Kid, Mantaur, Mabel, Jimmy Del Ray, Adam Bomb, Bob Holly, Mo, Shawn Michaels, British Bulldog, Kwang, Henry Godwinn, Eli Blu, Tom Pritchard

Michaels runs away from a mob and eliminates himself to spare quite a bit of pain. We settle way down with everyone brawling and no one really coming close to being eliminated. Lawler has to run away from Mabel and we slow down again. Jacob is knocked over the top to finally get rid of someone else and we take a break. We come back with Godwinn backdropping Droese out, which Lawler finds hilarious. Del Ray is out and Mabel splashes Bundy onto Kwang in the corner. Holly clotheslines Montoya out and Godwinn is gone as well, followed by Fatu.

Bomb and Pritchard are both out and Kid fires off the kicks to Lawler in the corner. Bundy and Mantaur get rid of Mabel, with Bundy saying he did it by himself. A bunch of people toss Bundy and we take another break. We come back with Holly getting tossed and we’re down to six. Kid and Smith get Lawler out to the apron but he hangs on, even landing on one foot to stay alive. Lawler tells the audience to stay quiet because he’s still officially in.

Cue Bret Hart to look at the hopping Lawler, with a rather amusing look on his face. Lawler tries to hop away (Vince: “He looks like a demented kangaroo out there.”) but Hart stomps on his foot and that’s enough for Lawler in a funny bit. Hart beats on him a bit more and we’re down to five.

Kwang misses a spinwheel kick and gets eliminated by Bulldog. That leaves us with Bulldog, Eli, Kid and Mantaur, with Eli tossing Kid. Bulldog gets rid of Mantaur and the powerslam hits “either Jacob or Eli” but here is Michaels to cheap shot Bulldog so Eli can take over. Then Bulldog low bridges Eli out anyway for the win at 13:51.

Rating: D. The only entertaining part here was the Hart segment and this was a really lame battle royal as a result. Bulldog was the only realistic winner near the end and that made for a long stretch until the finish. Nothing to see here and given that it was the doldrums of 1995, that shouldn’t be a surprise in the slightest.

From ECW Hardcore TV, December 24, 1996.

Battle Royal

This is a King Of The Hill battle royal, meaning pinfall, submission or over the top eliminations. Taz is in the ring (but not an entrant) when the lights go out and Sabu is in at #1. The Eliminators (Saturn and Kronus) are in at #2 and #3 and give Sabu a pair of Total Eliminations. Taz heads outside to yell at Sabu as New Jack and Mustafa (the Gangatas) are in at #4 and #5.

A mini tag match breaks out while Sabu is down and Taz leaves. Another pair of Total Eliminations hit the Gangstas and the Eliminators eliminate them. Sabu gets dropped with a rather rough spike piledriver as Rob Van Dam is in at #6. Van Dam (and his snazzy pants) can’t do much on his own but Sabu is back up for the save as another tag match breaks out. Balls Mahoney (he’s new at this point) is in at #7 and the fans think he’s fat. Spike Dudley is in at #8 as Van Dam hits a nasty looking springboard kick to Mahoney’s face.

Things settle down a bit as it’s more of a standard brawl, which is pretty logical for ECW. Little Guido is in at #9 and is immediately kicked in the face by Saturn. Another Total Elimination gets rid of Spike and Bubba Ray Dudley is in at #10. Bubba shrugs off Guido’s forearms and gorilla presses him out for the big crash. Van Dam and Mahoney are out, leaving us with the Eliminators vs. Sabu/Bubba.

Chris Candido is in at #11 to help Saturn break up Sabu’s camel clutch on Bubba (so much for that partnership). Saturn saves Candido from Sabu and hits a powerbomb but Sabu is back up with a springboard clothesline to the Eliminators. Brian Lee is in at #11 as Candido eliminates Kronus. Bubba is knocked out by Lee and Shane Douglas is in at #12. Douglas stomps away at Saturn and Candido gets two on Sabu.

Tommy Dreamer is in at #13 and Douglas panics, eliminating himself rather than face Dreamer. Saturn and Dreamer drop everyone else, with Saturn superkicking Candido through the ropes. Sabu is back up with a double clothesline to Candido as D-Von Dudley is in at #14. Lee has a chair to clean house until Sabu takes it away and chairs D-Von for two. Sandman is in at #15 and goes after Saturn as the ring is starting to get full. Saturn is kicked out and Sabu moonsaults D-Von for two.

Louie Spicoli is in at #16 and tosses Candido out and a bunch of people go after D-Von for two more. Lee tosses Dreamer and Spicoli as the Blue World Order is in at Stevie Cool, Nova and the Blue Meanie are in at #17, #18 and #19. The Stevie Kick gets rid of D-Von but Lee takes out Meanie and Nova (his teammates in Raven’s Nest). Another Stevie Kick hits Sandman but Lee tosses Richards as well. Lee tosses Sandman, only to get clotheslined out by Sabu for the win at 19:45.

Rating: C+. It’s ECW so your mileage is absolutely going to vary, but what matters the most is that this felt different. ECW didn’t do this kind of match very often and it made things that much more interesting. Sabu going wire to wire is fine as he’s such a fan favorite and the people were happy throughout. Nice little surprise here and that’s a good thing.

From World Class Championship Wrestling TV, January 7, 1983.

Battle Royal

Wild Bill Irwin, Bugsy McGraw, King Kong Bundy, Terry Gordy, Kerry Von Erich, Andre The Giant

Pinfall, submission or over the top. Von Erich charges at Gordy to start before the bell. Andre comes in and we’re ready to go. Michael Hayes offers a distraction on the floor though and Von Erich is out in a hurry. That’s not ok with Von Erich, who goes back in to go after Gordy again. Von Erich is finally dragged out as Andre chokes Gordy for a change. Bundy hammers and chokes Andre, who doesn’t seem to notice.

A middle rope ax handle finally drops Andre, who falls onto Gordy in a funny spot. McGraw is tossed as Andre chokes Gordy on the mat. Bundy and Irwin go after Andre for the save but he gets up and chokes Gordy again (Does Gordy owe him money or something?). A headbutt knocks Bundy down and of course it’s time to choke Gordy again. Andre headbutts Irwin and chokes Gordy AGAIN like he’s in a slasher movie.

Bundy gets punched through the ropes and Andre gets to massage Gordy’s throat some more. Irwin and Bundy try to help Gordy again and it works for all of two seconds before Gordy accidentally drops Bundy. Some triple teaming slows Andre down as the fans are all behind him. They manage to get Andre down to his knees and the mat, but he gets back to his feet again.

Irwin hammers away but Andre fights up and atomic drops Irwin out. Hayes saves Gordy from elimination so Andre eliminates himself to give chase. So we’re down to Bundy vs. Gordy as Andre realizes how much he just screwed up. Bundy slams Gordy for two but misses s the Avalanche. Gordy dropkicks him in the back for the win at 12:57.

Rating: C+. This was ok enough, but at the same time it was mainly only funny for Andre’s near stalker killer movie villain obsession with Gordy. Andre went after him time after time and it was rather entertaining, with even commentary wondering what was with Andre’s obsession. Von Erich being pretty much nothing here was kind of weird, but Andre made up for him leaving so soon.

From Battlebowl 1993.

Battlebowl

Cactus Jack, Vader, Johnny B. Badd, Brian Knobbs, Shockmaster, Paul Orndorff, King Kong, Dustin Rhodes, Sting, Jerry Sags, Steve Austin, Ric Flair, Rick Rude, Shanghai Pierce, Hawk, Rip Rogers

Rogers is very banged up after getting beaten up earlier in the night. It’s the usual brawl to start and Rogers is out first, which is quite logical. Pierce is out as well as commentary admits there is too much going on to call here. Austin and Flair go outside (not eliminated) to brawl and Badd is sent to the ramp, which is NOT an elimination (as covered by commentary). Not that it matters as Badd is out a few seconds later.

Back in and Orndorff tries to toss Flair, with Hawk making a save to leave Ventura annoyed/confused. Jack loads up a superplex on Vader (of course) but gets broken up, allowing Vader to toss Jack out. Orndorff is out as well and the fans are not pleased with either of those two. Kong and the Shockmaster are both eliminated and the ring is a lot more clear. Vader gorilla presses Sting to the ramp (again, not out) but Sting comes back in to choke Vader in the corner.

Sags and Vader save Knobbs from Sting, who then saves Flair from Vader for some reason. Flair goes outside (not out) to go after Harley Race as Sting goes after the Nasty Boys at the same time. Back up and Vader runs Sting over before Flair beats up Knobbs, which isn’t something you see very often. Rhodes and Austin brawl to the floor, again without going over the top as we’ve gone a long time without an elimination. Rhodes gets posted and busted open and we slow way down, with commentary pointing it out as well.

Back up and Knobbs, Sags, Rhodes, Rude and Hawk all being eliminated in VERY short order. Well that picked up the pace. We’re down to Austin, Vader, Sting and Flair (not bad) as Rhodes is being led out and looks to have had his bell rung. Sting suplexes Austin and Vader misses a charge at Flair in the corner, leaving Flair to beat up Race on the ramp. Vader goes out for the save as Sting clotheslines Austin in the ring.

Sting and Austin join the other two on the ramp as this is not following proper battle royal procedures. The trainer comes out to check on Flair so Vader kicks him too. Flair is stretchered out and is officially eliminated due to injury. Naturally Race tries to turn the stretcher over, because that’s the kind of thing Race would do. Vader gorilla presses Sting back into the ring but Sting pops up and powerslams a diving Vader out of the air.

House is quickly cleaned with a bunch of clotheslines but the numbers game finally catches him in the corner. Austin gets in a rather impressive middle rope elbow (and has to stop himself from covering) before Vader drops Sting again. Vader hits two splashes but Sting avoids the third and makes the comeback on Austin.

Sting gets dropped again though and the Vader Bomb crushes him. Vader has hurt his own back though and Austin misses a top rope splash. Sting backdrops Austin onto the ramp and he falls onto the floor, which apparently counts as an elimination. So believe it or not, it’s Vader vs. Sting, with Vader hitting another splash. Sting avoids a charge though and fireman’s carries Vader onto the top, only to miss the Stinger Splash and eliminate himself so Vader wins at 25:35.

Rating: B-. This took some time but there is something about watching Sting and Vader no matter what they’re doing. Throw in Austin out there and getting to see Flair taking a beating and I couldn’t complain that much. It’s one of those things that works even with the extra time, though the ending was kind of out of nowhere and didn’t make Vader look that strong.

From Smackdown, November 29, 2011.

Battle Royal

Curt Hawkins, Ted DiBiase, Ezekiel Jackson, JTG, Johnny Curtis, Darren Young, Tyler Reks, Justin Gabriel, Tyson Kidd, Jinder Mahal, Hunico, Percy Watson, Yoshi Tatsu, Titus O’Neil, Sheamus, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Hornswoggle, Kofi Kingston, Heath Slater

The winner gets a Christmas wish. Hornswoggle goes under the ring to start, leaving Sheamus (the Great White, in something that actually made air) tosses Young. Jimmy Uso is out as well, followed by JTG. Cole rants about how much guest host Mick Foley loves Christmas as Jackson dumps Hawkins. Sheamus pounds Jackson down and ducks a clothesline to get rid of him.

Curtis (Fandango) is gone and there goes Jey Uso and Kingston back to back. Tatsu and DiBiase are out, with Hornswoggle popping out from underneath the ring to pull Kidd out as well. We take a break and come back with the graphics messing up (which I believe was another Chris Jericho return), plus Gabriel being eliminated. O’Neil plants Reks but gets clotheslined out by Sheamus.

Reks jumps Sheamus from behind and gets pummeled but runs outside for a breather. Everyone goes to the floor for the brawl, with Sheamus being sent into the barricade. The non-Sheamuses get back inside but realize that they have to get rid of Hornswoggle as well. Hornswoggle is thrown back inside and can’t escape, with Slater throwing him down. Sheamus comes back in for the save and quickly eliminates everyone not named Hornswoggle.

Sheamus tells him to get out but Hornswoggle says he wants Sheamus out instead. Hornswoggle kicks him in the shin so Sheamus calls him a lunatic. Sheamus easily picks him up but Hornswoggle hangs onto the top rope. In a not so bright move, Sheamus goes over the top to pull Hornswoggle off the ropes. He tells Hornswoggle (who went through the ropes) to get down, but first Hornswoggle wants a hug. Hornswoggle shoves him off the apron for the clever win at 14:01. Hornswoggle would use the wish to be able to talk, which he could do before but was forgotten for the sake of the match.

Rating: C. Yeah I can’t get that mad at some like this. It was a goofy, lighthearted battle royal for the holiday special. Hornswoggle winning is a good way to go as the fans were behind him, especially when he finds an easy way to eliminate Sheamus and win. It wasn’t particularly good, but the result was charming enough.

Post match Sheamus is mad but raises Hornswoggle’s hand in holiday spirit.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a good example of why you don’t have multiple battle royals very often. Some of what we got here was fine enough, but seeing them over and over got repetitive. That is only going to get you so far and it was only so interesting. I did like that they offered a nice mixture of stuff from promotions, which is one of the places where the Vault tends to shine.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Unforgiven 2008
Date: September 7, 2008
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 8,707
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz, Mick Foley, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

We’re finally here, as I took such a long break from the 2008 cycle that this show is something like a year in the making for me. It’s a weirdly structured show, as there are three Championship Scramble matches for the big titles, but the real main event is Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho in an unsanctioned match. That story has been carrying the story this year so let’s get to it.

The opening video takes a quick look at the Scramble matches before moving on to Jericho vs. Michaels, with WWE pretty openly acknowledging that it is the biggest match on the show.

For the sake of simplicity, here are the Scramble rules:

• 20 minute time limit

• Two people start, with another of the five total entrants entering every five minutes

• Anyone scoring a pinfall/submission (it does NOT have to be on the champion) becomes the “current” champion

• Whoever is the “current” champion when time expires leaves as champion

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Finlay vs. The Miz vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Mark Henry

Henry is defending and Matt Hardy is in at #1 while The Miz is in at #2. Hardy grinds away on a headlock to start and seems to have a lot to say to Miz, who reverses into a headlock of his own. That’s broken up as well and Hardy hits the corner clothesline but the bulldog is countered. Instead Hardy pulls him out of the corner into a sitout powerbomb for two and another clothesline gets the same. Back up and Miz gets in a shot from behind, setting up the chinlock. Hardy gets out and grabs a sunset flip for two but Miz Reality Checks him out to the floor. That gets a rather delayed two back inside and it’s Guerrero in at #3.

Guerrero wastes no time in knocking Miz down and hitting a frog splash to pin Hardy and become current champion (remember: Miz does NOT have to take the fall for someone to become current champion). Hardy fights back and knocks Miz outside, followed by an elbow for two on Guerrero. Miz is back up as well and hits a high crossbody onto both of them for two on Hardy. Hardy drops Miz though and the Side Effect to Guerrero makes Hardy current champion. The chinlock slows Miz down (not a move you expect to see in a match like this) and it’s Henry in at #4.

The triple teaming does not work very well as Henry tosses all of them away, followed by a gorilla press drop to Hardy. The World’s Strongest Slam to Guerrero makes Henry current champion as the dominance continues. Hardy can’t hit the Twist of Fate and gets knocked to the floor, followed by Henry grabbing a bearhug on Guerrero. That’s switched to a bearhug on Hardy, who is mostly done as Finlay is in at #5 to complete the field.

Finlay wastes no time in kicking away at Henry, followed by a DDT for two. Henry shrugs that off and grabs another bearhug, which draws in Hornswoggle for a distraction. Finlay shillelaghs Henry and gets Hardy to help toss him out. A quick Celtic Cross to Hardy makes Finlay current champion with about 3:45 to go.

Miz missile dropkicks Finlay down but gets caught with the Twist of Fate to make Hardy current champion with 3:19 to go. Hardy turns to look at Henry but has to break up a cover as Guerrero frog splashes Miz (whose eye is busted open). Henry’s World’s Strongest Slam gets two on Guerrero with Hardy making the save.

The same thing happens to Finlay, leaving Henry to break up Miz’s rollup on Hardy. Guerrero gets pulled into a World’s Strongest Slam for two with Hardy making the save at 1:30 to go. Henry kicks Finlay down, making him drop Hardy at the same time. Hardy is back up to save Miz from Henry’s splash with 1:00 to go. Hardy keeps playing defense and no one can get a pin, with Hardy managing to run out the clock and become the champion.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but once the clock came on screen and the desperation started to build, this got very entertaining in a hurry. The idea of anyone being able to take the fall boosts this WAY up, as otherwise it would have been Hardy running away for the last few minutes. It was a really fun way to introduce the concept and I ha d a good time with it.

Matt Hardy runs into Jeff Hardy in the back and says it’s time for the Hardys to both be champions.

We get a poll question of whether Vickie Guerrero should have allowed Big Show into the Smackdown Scramble. Odd question to ask.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Cryme Tyme vs. Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase

Rhodes and DiBiase are defending after having Cryme Tyme steal the belts, though Rhodes and DiBiase stole them back, rendering the whole thing a waste of time. JTG starts with some dropkicks and Shad clotheslines the champs to the floor. A big dive connects as well and JTG takes over back inside.

DiBiase fights up and is promptly powerslammed down by Shad. It’s back to JTG who chases Rhodes outside, allowing DiBiase to get in a clothesline to take over. Back in and Rhodes works on the arm before working on the arm to change things up a bit. DiBiase comes back in for a nice dropkick and his own kick to the arm.

JTG suplexes his way to freedom but Rhodes is in to cut Shad off in time. The armbar goes on again before Rhodes goes up top, only to get pulled down for a crash. That’s enough to make the tag off to Shad to clean house. DiBiase’s suplex gets two, with Shad’s foot getting on the rope. The G9 is loaded up but Rhodes slips out. JTG grabs a small package but DiBiase turns it over so Rhodes can get the pin to retain.

Rating: C. There wasn’t much that could be done here and they couldn’t really find a way around the problem. The titles do not feel overly important and that dragged down anything they could have done. The champs getting their belts back before the match took away the limited interest they had in the first place and it was downhill from there.

Post match the brawl is on again but a Samoan comes in to help Rhodes and DiBiase, setting up the triple pose.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho. They’ve been feuding for months and Jericho had Michaels ready to retire over an eye injury. Jericho wouldn’t stand for that though and they insulted each other, resulting in Jericho accidentally punching Michaels’ wife. Jericho blamed Michaels, who swore vengeance, setting up an unsanctioned match here. This has been the best story in WWE in a long time and this is the real main event of the show.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

Unsanctioned so anything goes and Michaels is in street clothes, with his injured arm heavily bandaged. Michaels starts fast and hammers away, including some shots to the face with a belt. They go outside and over the barricade, with Michaels busting Jericho’s nose open. Jericho gets posted but avoids a chair shot and it’s time for the first table.

A table shot to the back crushes Michaels and he gets dropped face first onto the apron. Back in and Jericho chairs him down and the chair is wedged in the corner (that’s never a good idea). Jericho’s whip is reversed into the post though and Michaels gets a breather. They fight over a suplex from the apron through a table on the floor before Michaels takes him back inside for the running forearm.

The top rope elbow connects and Sweet Chin Music is loaded up, but Jericho collapses. Michaels isn’t waiting and hammers him down into the crossface but Jericho gets out again. Jericho starts going after the bad eye until Michaels gets in a shot of his own. The upside down whip in the corner (into the chair) just seems to re-energize Michaels, who is back with a Thesz press. Jericho gets up and pulls him into the Walls but the ropes mean nothing for Michaels.

Instead he finds a well placed fire extinguisher and sprays his way to freedom. An extinguisher shot to the face rocks Jericho again and they fight on the ramp, where Lance Cade comes out to help Jericho. Some shots to the bad arm, including one around the post, have Michaels in big trouble. Jericho goes to the eye and then back to the arm before the chair is brought back in. Cade holds the arm so Jericho can smash it with the chair, only for Michaels to break up the Pillmanizing.

One heck of a chair to the head knocks Jericho off the top and through the table at ringside for the big crash. Michaels unloads with the chair and puts Cade on the announcers’ table…but stops to kick Jericho some more. Jericho is stacked onto Cade and the top rope elbow drives both of them through the table. Michaels is all fired up and whips Jericho with the belt, including a hard shot to the eye. Michaels ties up Jericho’s arms and just unloads with left hands to the head until his own arm gives out. The referee pulls him off but Michaels is back on Jericho. It’s broken up again and the referee calls the match as Jericho is out.

Rating: A-. The most important part of this match is that they sold the story they were telling. These guys beat the living daylights out of each other and Michaels was for himself and his family. I bought into what they were doing and if they had gotten just a bit more intense (and by that I mean some blood), it would be even better. Either way, absolutely outstanding match here that actually got close to living up to the incredible hype.

Post match Michaels can’t help himself and beats up Jericho even more. The referee drags Michaels off and gets superkicked, leaving Michaels shaking. More referees come out to protect Jericho as Michaels composes himself. The look on Michaels’ face is PERFECT, as he clearly hates Jericho but also hates himself for letting it go that far. That boosts things up even more.

Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase introduce Randy Orton to their new friend Manu, the son of Afa. Manu says Orton can knock all of the other champions on Raw but these two are a different class. Orton says congratulations and says it was dumb luck. Go watch a replay of the match and then tell him what they did that deserves praise. They shouldn’t be proud.

Smackdown World Title: The Brian Kendrick vs. MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Jeff Hardy vs. HHH

HHH is defending, Jeff Hardy is in at #1 and Shelton Benjamin is in at #2. They trade rollups to start until Benjamin takes him down into a headlock. With that broken up, Benjamin grabs a suplex into a chinlock with a knee in the back. Hardy fights up and Kendrick is in at #3.

Benjamin tries to suplex Hardy off the apron but Kendrick breaks it up and covers Hardy for two. With Benjamin down, Hardy avoids a charge in the corner and hits the Twist Of Fate to become current champion. Benjamin is back in to knee Hardy into the corner but misses another splash. Hardy tries a sunset flip (possibly forgetting the rules, which is fine) for two but Paydirt gives Benjamin two more with Kendrick making the save. The Kendrick gives Kendrick the pin on Hardy to make him current champion.

MVP is in at #4 and kicks Hardy to the floor before backdropping Kendrick out with him. Benjamin and MVP slug it out until Kendrick comes back in with some kicks to the face. Benjamin Samoan drops Kendrick and everyone is down as HHH is in at #5 to complete the field, meaning we have less than five minutes to go. HHH fires off the clotheslines to start fast and hits a Pedigree to pin Kendrick and become current champion with 4:11 to go. Benjamin sends HHH outside though and into the steps, leaving Hardy to give MVP the Twist Of Fate to become current champion with 3:05 to go.

Kendrick comes after Hardy and gets gordbustered but HHH crotches Hardy on top. The Pedigree gives HHH the pin on Kendrick with 2:05 to go but Hardy Swantons Kendrick for the pin to become current champion with 1:53 to go. Hardy sends HHH outside and hits a big flip dive and everyone is down with 1:10 to go. With HHH and Hardy outside, the other three hit a Tower Of Doom with MVP being in the best place. Hardy is back in for a Whisper In The Wind to MVP and a Swanton to Benjamin…but HHH comes in to Pedigree and pin MVP and retain the title as time expires.

Rating: C+. The problem here was the lack of drama for the most part, as while the opener had five people you could see walking out with the title, this was ALL about HHH vs. Jeff Hardy and nothing more. The other three were just warm bodies, which is a shame as this is the kind of match where you could do some good teasing of a surprise winner. Kendrick felt that way for all of a minute before it turned into the HHH/Hardy show. After that, nothing else mattered and the ending, while timed very well, didn’t come off as exciting as much as one of the two realistic winners winning.

Shawn Michaels isn’t used to not going to the hospital after a pay per view. His family is going to see the look on his face and know what he did. He’s content, but he’s not satisfied. If he had his way, he would do everything he did to Jericho every night for the rest of his life. Jericho has awoken something inside of him that he isn’t sure if he can control and isn’t sure if he wants to. The worst is yet to come.

Randy Orton interrupts CM Punk and calls him a fluke. Cue Ted DiBiase, Manu and Cody Rhodes to beat Punk down. Kofi Kingston makes a failed save attempt and Orton punts Punk out cold.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Maryse vs. Michelle McCool

McCool is defending and starts fast with a wristdrag out of the corner, though she comes up favoring her knee. Maryse bails to the floor so McCool follows, with Maryse sending her over the barricade. Back in and Maryse takes out the knee and starts cranking away, including tying the leg in the ropes. Maryse stops to flip her hair though, allowing McCool to kick her in the face for two. A big boot and a sitout gordbuster retain McCool’s title.

Rating: C-. I feel bad for these two. The match itself was just ok at best and honestly not that good, though they used a fine story of McCool hurting her leg and Maryse working on it. That’s totally acceptable, even if the match was decent for the most part. The problem continues to be the way the entire division is presented, as you had McCool’s Titantron featuring her getting out of a pool and Tazz calling them “the sexiest women on television.” It’s hard to be taken seriously when you’re being treated as eye candy and they had been putting in the work to get better. That’s not fair on them and it took a long time to overcome.

Here is Raw GM Mike Adamle, who announces that CM Punk may not be able to compete, so he might have to find a suitable replacement. Either way, there will be a five man Championship Scramble.

Here is the Big Show for an unscheduled chat. Show: “HI!” He gets right to the point: if Adamle needs a replacement for the Scramble, look no further than him. Show plugs the Smackdown Your Vote campaign and brings up the poll from earlier about whether or not he should have been in the Scramble, with 77% saying yes. We get a quick audience poll, with the fans seemingly wanting him in the match and that’s it…until Vickie Guerrero interrupts.

She calls him a big dumb giant and doesn’t like being insulted, so now he will deal with the “circumstances”. Show needs to get out of the ring but hold on because we’ve got druids (Show finds this hilarious). They bring a coffin to the ring and Undertaker pops up on screen to talk about the rather specific way he wants to kill Guerrero and send her to H***. Vickie tries to leave but Show holds her in place as Undertaker slowly (of course) comes to the ring. She even gets outside but Show throws her back inside as Undertaker opens the casket and gets inside the ring.

The jacket and hat come off as Show is still holding Vickie in place. Undertaker shakes his head at her and grabs Vickie by the throat….and Show KO Punches him. Show massacres Undertaker and it keeps going for a good while, with Show hitting another two KO Punches. Vickie gets in a slap and spits in Undertaker’s face before the villains leave. This went on WAY too long, though minor points for having Show’s turn feel like a surprise (or as close as it could be given how telegraphed it was when he was still out there).

We recap Randy Orton and CM Punk getting into it on Raw, leading to Orton attacking Punk earlier tonight. Ignore how much the replay reveals that it was a shin to the general vicinity of the head rather than a punt.

William Regal tries to get into the Scramble but Mike Adamle says there is still a chance Punk wrestles.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Batista vs. Kane vs. John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Punk is defending (in theory), Batista is in at #1 and JBL is in at #2. Batista powers him into the corner to start but gets forearmed back. JBL does some horribly blatant spot calling before getting his whip reversed into the corner. A sleeper is broken up with a shinbreaker and Batista grabs a Figure Four so we get the required Ric Flair reference. That’s broken up and they go outside, with Batista sending him into the steps.

Kane is in at #3 and it seems that the clock is speeding up. Batista wastes no time with a clothesline but Kane is right back up with a big boot. The basement dropkick gets two on Batista and the side slam sets up the missed top rope clothesline. JBL is back in but misses the Clothesline From JBL, meaning it’s a chokeslam to make Kane the current champion. Back up and Kane stays on Batista until Rey Mysterio is in at #4.

Mysterio gets to clean house until Kane cuts him off in the corner. Batista breaks that up and we get the splash off Batista’s shoulders onto Kane to give Mysterio two. They try it again but this time Mysterio rolls Batista up for two, which might not have been the brightest move. Mysterio points out that Batista covered Kane after the splash but JBL is back up to drop both of them. JBL’s fall away slam sends Mysterio onto Batista (that was clever) but the clock is up….and Chris Jericho is in at #5.

Jericho can barely move on the way to the ring and there are some NASTY welts on his back. Batista cuts Kane off and gives him a powerslam as we’re down to four minutes left with Jericho coming in and getting speared down. A bad 619 hits Kane’s ribs and Batista adds a big boot for two. Batista breaks up a springboard from Mysterio and drops Kane for two more. Kane is back up with the top rope clothesline for his own near fall.

A spear cuts Kane off with less than a minute to go and a spinebuster makes Batista current champion with 35 seconds left. Batista realizes he has to play defense for a bit and cuts off Mysterio’s springboard with a powerbomb. Jericho sneaks in and steals the pin on Kane for the pin with seven seconds left. Batista, apparently COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF PINNING THE MAN HE JUST POWERBOMBED INTO OBLIVION, stares at Jericho until time expires.

Rating: C+. I didn’t hate it, but at the end of the day, the second Jericho came out, you knew the ending. There was no way around that and at the end of the day, it was a countdown to Jericho stealing the pin. Other than that, you had what you would expect from these guys as it was just waiting to see if Punk would be in there or not. They didn’t hide where they were going, but dang Jericho getting the title is a nice twist given how everything else has been lately on Raw.

Overall Rating: B. The opener and Jericho vs. Michaels are more than good enough to carry this thing, though that twist at the end makes the main event feel that much better. It was a very tricky show to navigate with so many people tied up in the three Scrambles, but Jericho and Michaels is excellent and lived up to the hype. Very good show here, and if one of the other two Scrambles was better, it would have gone even higher.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 1, 2008
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last Raw before Unforgiven and the big matches are entirely set. The good thing is that this includes the incredible Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho match, which is pretty much carrying the quality side of things. Other than that you have CM Punk ready to defend in the Championship Scramble which is….well it exists. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Killer Kowalski.

Here is the injured Randy Orton for a chat and the hometown fans are happy to see him. Orton confirms that he is not 100% yet but there is something he has to get off his chest. He believes that a brand is only as strong as its champions. When he was on top, Raw was the best thing going but now it’s a joke. Beth Phoenix runs around like a lovesick puppy after the weakest Intercontinental Champion of all time in Santino Marella. Then you have Priceless, who should be called Worthless, because they don’t even have their belts.

Finally though, we have someone who is disgracing the World Title in CM Punk. Four years ago, Punk was wrestling in no name towns but then he won a briefcase and got the World Title. That makes Orton sick and he would love to challenge Punk to get the title back tonight. Cue Punk, who says he is getting a headache from listening to Orton. Not everyone has their daddy and grandfather getting them into WWE.

Punk doesn’t drink, smoke, or go for joy rides on his motorcycle at 3am and make his injury even worse. He’s going to retain the title on Sunday, and then he wants Orton to come tell him how pathetic he is again. Orton says they’ll continue this at a later time and walks away. Cue JBL to interrupt, saying Punk doesn’t get it. Fairy tales aren’t real and the Cinderella run ends on Sunday.

We get the traditional odds explanation and JBL says anyone could take the title from Punk on Sunday. Cue Kane to interrupt, saying that he’s been to H*** and he didn’t see JBL’s Clothesline. He did see Rey Mysterio though, so he’s not likely for the scramble match. Cue Batista to interrupt but he opts to beat everyone else up rather than speaking. Batista walks out rather quickly, leaving the other three laying. I love Punk and I was thrilled when he won the title but egads he could not look much weaker.

Kofi Kingston vs. Charlie Haas

This week’s Haas impression is….John Cena, so the fans are not happy with the fake out. Haas says “the Haas is here and you can’t see me.” Then how do we know you’re here? Kingston starts fast with a monkey flip but Haas knocks him down. The Five Knuckle Shuffle is blocked though and Kingston grabs a Russian legsweep into the Boom Drop. A rollup doesn’t work for Haas and Trouble In Paradise finishes him in a hurry. The Haas impressions are funny enough but if he’s going to lose in short order every time, their charm isn’t likely to last very long.

Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase talk to Randy Orton, who slaps Rhodes in the face. Orton tells them to grow a set because otherwise, he stands by everything he says.

ECW GM Teddy Long, and his assistant Tiffany, are here with Mike Adamle. Their Scramble participants are in a battle royal tonight, which Adamle says is like a Jerry Lawis Labor Day telethon without the kids. Long tries to get his head around that one as Kane comes in to say that Adamle advertising Rey Mysterio was stupid because his body has been destroyed. Adamle was hoping it would make Mysterio show up, so Kane tells him to keep hoping.

Battle Royal

Matt Hardy, Chavo Guerrero, Miz, Finlay, Mark Henry

Henry’s ECW Title isn’t on the line and yeah it’s a five man battle royal. Everyone else goes after Henry to start and that goes nowhere, as Henry shoves them all away. Some double teaming does get Henry off his feet (not a great idea in a battle royal) but Miz goes after Hardy. Guerrero jumps Miz so Henry dumps both of them and we’re already down to three. Henry misses a charge into the corner though and Hardy strikes away but he and Finlay can’t get the elimination. Finlay is tossed but Hardy is back up with the middle rope elbow to the head. The Twist Of Fate is easily blocked though and Henry tosses him for the win.

Rating: D+. What is there to say here? It’s a five man battle royal and only went on for a few minutes. There isn’t much that can be done with a regular match in that amount of time but having such a small field for a battle royal makes it even harder. Henry winning a match that is built for someone like him doesn’t help either, making this quite the weak offering.

Jamie Noble vs. William Regal

Layla is at ringside so Noble can impress her. Regal goes right at him and grabs a full nelson, which is reversed into a rollup for two. A left hand drops Noble and the half and half suplex does it again. Noble is right back up with a small package for the pin out of nowhere and Layla does seem somewhat impressed.

Jillian Hall sings a bit before a six woman tag.

Jillian Hall/Beth Phoenix/Katie Lea Burchill vs. Mickie James/Kelly Kelly/Candice Michelle

Phoenix tells Randy Orton to watch and this is Michelle’s big return after a very long injury absence. Burchill and Kelly start things off with Burchill taking her down for two so it’s off to James for a top rope Thesz press. Burchill takes James into the corner though and Hall comes in, only to get forearmed in the face to cut that off fast.

Phoenix grabs a suplex to drop James again though and it’s back to Hall. A neckbreaker gets James out of trouble and Michelle gets to come in and clean house. Michelle tries a high crossbody but Phoenix rolls through and….I have absolutely no idea what the next sequence was supposed to be. They are on different plants for a bit but after about twenty seconds of not being able to do anything right, Michelle small packages her for the pin.

Rating: D+. They got so messed up in the end there, and while it felt like they just messed up to start and then both tried to fix it in a different way, they did at least get the right result. That being said, they didn’t have time to do much here (again) and Michelle coming back to beat the champ after the better part of a year away pretty much just proves Orton right about Phoenix.

We get a long recap of Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho, which is now a personal rivalry over Jericho accidentally (in theory) hitting Michaels’ wife in the face. Michaels was ready to retire, but now it’s time for personal revenge with Michaels angrier than he has been in a long time. This has been the best thing on Raw since it started and now we are ready for one more huge fight between them, which should be outstanding.

Santino Marella vs. D’Lo Brown

Non-title. Hold on though as Marella wants to show that Randy Orton was wrong. Marella orders the HONK-A-METER, which shows that Honky Tonk Man was Intercontinental Champion for 64 weeks. On the other hand, Marella has been the Intercontinental Champion for 2 weeks, putting him 62 weeks back.

That is nothing for Marella, and then he will be the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time. I can’t stand Santino but this is still one of those gags that will always make me chuckle. It’s so stupid that it’s funny and that can work so well. Marella drives him into the corner to start but Brown is back up with a running clothesline for two. A Shining Wizard drops Marella but he avoids the Low Down and gets the fast pin.

This week’s classic moment: the first Raw in MSG. Yeah that fits.

Cryme Tyme vs. John Morrison/The Miz

Hold on as Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes run in to jump Cryme Tyme and beat them down. The champs get their belts back and there’s no match.

Post break Rhodes and DiBiase run into Orton, who doesn’t say anything but seems pleased.

WWE is at the Republican National Convention in Minneapolis.

Batista’s game plan for tonight: destroy everyone.

Unforgiven rundown.

Battle Royal

Batista, CM Punk, JBL, Kane

Non-title and it’s somehow even lamer than earlier with a four man battle royal because there’s no Rey Mysterio. There is however Randy Orton, who is watching at ringside. Batista hammers on Kane to start and JBL knocks Punk down in the corner. Some running corner clotheslines have Batista in control but he can’t throw Punk out. Kane boots Batista in the face though and Punk hits a clothesline to get rid of him.

JBL boots the other two out but Punk backdrops him out, leaving us with Punk vs. Kane. Some shots to the face aren’t enough to get rid of Punk so Kane gives him a side slam. Kane knocks him to the apron so Punk tries a springboard, for Kane to grab him by the throat and toss him out for the win.

Rating: D. This felt like something they would do on a Memphis territory house show in front of 200 people when some wrestlers didn’t show up. The match runs about four minutes and nothing really happens, with Orton just sitting there being the, for lack of a better word, highlight. This was rough, but what were the wrestlers supposed to do under these circumstances?

Post match Punk and Orton have a staredown, with Punk hitting him in the face. Cue Rey Mysterio, leaving Kane stunned. Mysterio actually beats Kane down and gives him a 619 around the post.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring for the Chris Jericho/Shawn Michaels contract signing. Jericho comes out and Lawler says that WWE is waived of all liabilities before bringing Michaels out as well. Both of them sign and Lawler tries to wrap it up but Jericho cuts him off. Jericho asks why Michaels has this much security, because Jericho isn’t stupid enough to get violent here. Michaels says it’s not his security because he wants it to be the two of them alone. Jericho sends security and Lawler away, which is following Michaels’ advice, which Michaels would never do for him.

This week, Jericho did sit his family down and tell them that he will never be Shawn Michaels. He will never be a lying, cheating, manipulative monster. They will not be watching Unforgiven because he doesn’t want them to see what he’ll be doing. Jericho isn’t going to go soft on Michaels because of Michaels’ precious wife. The only person Michaels has to blame for this is himself.

Michaels is glad that Jericho’s family won’t be watching and neither will Michaels’. He wants to tell them about the time when he almost walked away but came back so he could look evil in the face and spit in its eye. Unforgiven is an appropriate name for the event because he will never forgive Jericho for what he did. All he hopes is that someday God can forgive him for what he’ll do to Jericho.

That makes Jericho stand up so Michaels takes off his jacket but Lance Cade runs in. Michaels takes him out and glares at Jericho to end the show. These two are selling the living heck out of this match and I want to see them tear into each other. You can feel the intensity here and there is nothing else like it in WWE at the moment.

Overall Rating: C-. I hope Jericho and Michaels got a very nice selection of fruit baskets from the roster because they are carrying this show on their backs. The problem here is so much of the rest of the show is built around the Scramble and there is pretty much nothing left to say about it. That makes for a very tedious show and that was on display here. The Michaels/Jericho segments are great, but that’s about it for the show. Well other than the Honk-A-Meter, but that goes without saying.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 25, 2008
Location: Wachovia Center, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s been a minute since I’ve done one of these and the Raw archive being moved off Peacock didn’t help. I want to finish the gaps I have in the show’s history though and that includes a long stretch around this time. We’re coming up on Unforgiven and that means we need to fill in some spots in the Championship Scramble. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

CM Punk vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Non-title. JBL grabs a headlock to start but misses the elbow, allowing Punk to fire off the kicks. A kick to the face gets two and Punk forearms away in the corner. An armdrag into an armbar has JBL down again and a big kick to the head has him on the floor. The suicide dive is kind of sent into the announcers’ table but Punk is fine enough to hit a high crossbody for two back inside. JBL kicks him outside without much trouble and we take a break.

Back with JBL working on a bearhug but Punk fights out and hits a tornado DDT for a delayed two. The bulldog out of the corner gives Punk two but the Clothesline From JBL gets the same. JBL goes for a chair in a not so bright move and of course has it taken away. Punk uses the distraction to hit a quick GTS for the pin.

Rating: C+. They were in a weird spot here as Punk needed the win but JBL is also on his way to the Scramble match. In theory he shouldn’t be taking falls, but it’s not like JBL has much int eh way of value in the first place after all those losses. The match was a decent enough brawl, but it’s nice to see Punk getting a clean(ish) win like this.

Here is Mike Adamle for a chat. He shows us a video from Summerslam, with Batista beating John Cena. This included some Batista Bombs, which have resulted in Cena needing surgery. That means he will be out of the Championship Scramble but a replacement will be announced by the end of the night. Why not just announce it now? Did we really need two Adamle appearances?

Kane talks about destroying Rey Mysterio and the pain makes him salivate. He loved hurting Mysterio and now people are wondering if Mysterio is alive or dead.

Primo Colon is with Mike Adamle and says he’s not like Carlito. Shawn Michaels comes in and says he wants Chris Jericho, who isn’t here yet. He ignores a question about how his wife is doing.

Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

Non-title and Santino Marella is here with Phoenix. Kelly goes after her to start and is quickly sat on the top. That’s broken up and Kelly gets two off a quick rollup. Phoenix pulls her into a chinlock and cranks away but Kelly fights up. Marella pulls Phoenix away from a handspring elbow but the distraction lets Kelly get a rollup for the upset pin.

Post match Phoenix beats up Marella.

We look at a classic moment from 1989 with Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect. Sounds classic to me.

Primo Colon vs. Charlito

That would be Charlie Haas doing a Carlito impression, with commentary not hiding what is going on. Primo sends him into the corner and snaps off a middle rope headscissors. Charlito gets in a right hand and hammers away, setting up a chinlock. Primo fights up, strikes away, and hits a high crossbody for the win. This was as good as Charlie Haas doing a Carlito impression in a short match was going to be.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho, with Jericho accidentally hitting Michaels’ wife to make this mega personal. Jericho isn’t overly disturbed.

Here is Michaels, looking rather serious, for a chat. First off, his wife is hurt and he has been trying to tell himself that it was just an accident. Then they watched Raw and Jericho blamed Michaels. Why didn’t Michaels send in a letter of resignation? It’s because he has earned the right to come out here and thank the fans one last time.

That’s why he had his wife out here with him and she got punched in the face. Michaels isn’t going anywhere, but here is Jericho on the Titantron. He isn’t here because people are scared of what he might do if he was. Remember what happened the last time they were in the ring together? Jericho knows that Michaels is trying to goad him into the match but Michaels cuts him off, saying that it has to be a match.

Otherwise, Michaels would be thrown in jail. He’ll sign whatever Jericho wants to make this match happen because of what he can do. Jericho says try to use that bad eye or look at his bruised wife. Michaels says his wife is tougher than Jericho and that’s enough for the match to be on. They’re set for Unforgiven, with Michaels saying an eye for an eye. They sold the heck out of this and I want to see them fight. Nice job.

Ted DiBiase/Cody Rhodes vs. Jerry Lawler/Jim Duggan

Non-title, though Rhodes and DiBiase don’t have the titles after Cryme Tyme stole them last week. Lawler backs DiBiase against the ropes to start before cutting him off with a shot to the face. DiBiase takes him into the corner though and it’s off to Rhodes for a cross face chickenwing.

Back up and Rhodes slaps him in the face, which means the strap comes down immediately. Lawler slugs away and hits a jawbreaker to DiBiase, allowing the tag off to Duggan. House is quickly cleaned with a clothesline and swinging slam getting two on DiBiase. Everything breaks down and DiBiase grabs a Million Dollar Dream legsweep for the fast pin on Duggan.

Rating: C. This was pretty much the definition of “exactly what you were expecting” as Duggan and Lawler were the veterans who didn’t like how the loudmouthed rookies are acting. That means the old guys get in a few shots before falling short, which is how it should have gone. If nothing else, DiBiase and Rhodes need to deal with Cryme Tyme, who are likely waiting on them at Unforgiven.

Post match Rhodes grabs the mic and says it’s a crime to steal titles so here is Cryme Tyme to introduce themselves. They want a title shot at Unforgiven, with DiBiase not being happy but agreeing. DiBiase promises to show that the team is priceless, with Shad calling him a “silly white boy”.

Batista sends well wishes to John Cena, calling him one of the toughest opponents he has ever faced. Tonight he is facing a monster in Kane and it’s personal.

Intercontinental Title: Santino Marella vs. Kofi Kingston

Marella is defending. Kingston goes after the arm to start and hits the jumping back elbow for two. A monkey flip sends Marella into the corner for the right hands to the face but Kingston’s spinning high crossbody misses. Marella slaps on an abdominal stretch, which doesn’t last long as he’s right back with a middle rope shot to the head. The Boom Drop connects and Marella rolls outside but here is Beth Phoenix to cut him off. Kingston throws Marella back inside but Phoenix grabs the leg, sending Kingston’s head into Marella’s knee. This apparently knocks Kingston completely cold so Marella can retain.

Rating: C. That was quite the weak ending, with Kingston looking like he got knocked cold off a simple trip. If you didn’t notice him landing on Marella’s knee, Kingston now looks like one of the weakest stars in WWE today. This would have been better suited with a fluke rollup, but at least Phoenix and Marella have made after all those….minutes since they had a fight.

Post match Phoenix pins Marella into the corner and kisses him. Marella does the same to her, though she might not be as enthused.

Josh Matthews and Candice Michelle are at the Democratic National Convention in Denver. Go vote.

Mike Adamle picks Rey Mysterio to replace John Cena in the Championship Scramble. Wasn’t he possibly dead about an hour ago?

Unforgiven rundown.

Batista vs. Kane

They actually go to the mat to start, which is quite the bizarre visual. Batista fireman carries him down and works on an armbar as I’m almost wondering if this is a rib. The armbar is broken up so Batista tries a failed Batista Bomb attempt. A clothesline puts Kane on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Kane holding a chinlock, which feels a lot more his speed. Batista fights up and kicks him in the head but Kane dropkicks the leg out as this match is full of surprises. Some rapid fire elbows to the knee keep Batista down and Kane stomps him down in the corner. A big boot in the corner sets up more cranking on the leg but Batista goes back to the arm for a breather.

Kane shrugs that off and slams the bad knee into the mat before pulling on the leg again. Back up and Batista manages a heck of a clothesline and a powerslam but the knee gives out. Kane can’t hit a chokeslam but Batista can hit a spinebuster. That doesn’t do much as Kane wraps the leg around the post and hits it with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: C. So it’s personal and they do a technical match to start? That’s one of those things that does not make sense no matter how you slice it, though at least things did pick up a bit near the end. The leg and arm stuff made for a good enough match, but it’s not the kind of match that they should have been having given how we got here. These two can have a big brawl, but for some reason they just didn’t.

Post match Kane goes after the leg even more but Batista gets in a shot of his own. Batista takes the chair and unloads, doing the same thing to Kane’s leg in a nice touch. Both guys go down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The Shawn vs. Jericho feud is absolutely carrying the show right now and that’s not a surprise. The rest of the important parts of the show is almost exclusively about the Championship Scramble and that’s not the easiest match to build towards. Throw in a pretty extended focus on Glamarella and this show was kind of all over the place. That being said, Shawn and Jericho are on another planet right now and that’s more than worth the look.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestlemania XXI
Date: April 3, 2005
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 20,193
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the big one as things have to change at some point in WWE. I’m curious to see how this show goes as I haven’t seen the television leading up to it since the show aired so maybe the show will feel a little bit different. The theme is Wrestlemania Goes Hollywood, which has included some outstanding movie parody trailers. Oh and Batista and John Cena look more than ready to become the top stars in the company. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Tajiri, William Regal, Rhino, Hurricane, Rosey, Maven, Simon Dean, Gene Snitsky, Chris Masters, Val Venis, Tyson Tomko, Sylvain Grenier, Rob Conway, Viscera, Hardcore Holly, Charlie Haas, Nunzio, Billy Kidman, Mark Jindrak, Funaki, Akio, Orlando Jordan, Doug Basham, Danny Basham, Heidenreich, Luther Reigns, Booker T.. Paul London, Spike Dudley, Scotty 2 Hotty

This is your “get them all on the show” match, which was likely just the DVD extra. They’re all in their show colored shirts with Eric Bischoff and Theodore Long at ringside. Before the bell, Hurricane gives Heidenreich his own mask so Heidenreich punches him in the face. Must be a villain. The fighting starts with Spike being sent to the steps as Hurricane makes the mistake of hammering away in the corner, making him the first elimination.

Reigns is out next as the ring is still very full. A bunch of the cruiserweights hold Viscera down so Scotty can hit the Worm. That high level of missing the point could explain why they don’t get on television very often. Masters doesn’t like that line of thinking and dumps Scotty, Funaki, Spike and Kidman in a hurry. Haas is tossed as well as the ring is clearing out a bit.

Masters dumps Nunzio, though it might not have been over the top. With nothing else to do, Heidenreich destroys a turnbuckle and tears off his mask before clotheslining the heck out of Venis for an elimination. Dean and Grenier are out as well, followed by Rosey, all at Heidenreich’s hands. Rhyno is out next and it’s Dupree following him in a hurry. Both Bashams go out as the fans are behind Regal.

With about twelve people left, we get the always natural looking Raw vs. Smackdown showdown with Akio and Holly being tossed, followed by Regal to even things up a bit. Tajiri mists Heidenreich so the blind monster gets rid of London. Heidenreich and Tajiri fight on the apron until Snitsky gets rid of them, leaving us with Jindrak, Booker, Masters, Snitsky and Viscera.

Jindrak gets rid of Snitsky and hits the big left on Viscera….which staggers Jindrak so much that Masters can get rid of him. Nunzio does the “I’M STILL IN” deal, only to be tossed seconds later. Viscera crushes Booker in the corner but he’s fine enough to low bridge the monster to the floor. The full nelson is broken up and a superkick gives Booker the win.

Rating: D+. It’s kind of hard to get too annoyed at a match like this as the whole point is getting people on the show and therefore onto the DVD, which is a nice bonus for the talent. I know this isn’t the most important match but it came and went fast enough and wasn’t terrible. Assuming you can ignore the RAH RAH RAH Raw vs. Smackdown aspect, it’s nothing too bad.

Lilian Garcia sings America the Beautiful. She’ll have a job in WWE as long as she wants one for how good she can make that sound.

The Titantron is revealed with the red curtain coming up. They’re nailing the theme this year.

We get a montage of the trailers, leading to the big reveal of the final trailer: Gladiator, featuring Steve Austin as Maximus. It’s a cool idea and suitable casting but there were better trailers.

It’s strange to see Wrestlemania in an arena. That’s one of those things you’ll probably never see again.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Not a bad way to start and the red carpet in the aisle makes it even better. They’re the Smackdown Tag Team Champions but Eddie isn’t sure if he can beat Rey. There’s no superhero outfit this year as Rey has Mexican/American flag inspired gear. Rey flips out of an armbar to start and hits a running knee but has to adjust the mask. A second armbar works a bit better for Eddie and but Rey pops up and climbs onto Eddie’s shoulders.

The sunset flip is countered into a catapult to the floor but Rey switches places and teases a dive to take us to an early standoff. Eddie takes him down into a keylock to stay on the arm before sending Rey outside. Since he’s a luchador as well, Eddie busts out his own dive to the floor, with the fans rather pleased with him. Rey adjust his mask again, as he isn’t wearing the regular kind and the clasp is different, causing a lot of issues.

Back in and Eddie stays on the arm (instead of the leg because Eddie is smart, since working on Mysterio’s leg hasn’t worked well for most people) before switching over to a surfboard. That’s broken up so Rey armdrags him to the floor, meaning the big corkscrew flip dive can take Eddie down. A backbreaker gives Eddie two though as Rey can’t keep the momentum going. Rey gets back up and tries the 619 but walks into another backbreaker for two, allowing Rey to fix the mask again.

Three Amigos connect, with Rey holding his mask the whole time. The extra vision lets Rey avoid the frog splash and now the 619 connects. The West Cost Pop is countered into a hard powerbomb for two as they go back to the back. Eddie tries another powerbomb but this time Rey reverses into a hurricanrana for the pin and one final mask adjustment.

Rating: B-. I don’t know how much the mask stuff messed with Rey but it seemed to be causing at least a bit of a problem. He had to mess with that thing probably a dozen times in a twelve minute match and it was becoming really noticeable. The idea here is to continue Eddie’s descent into jealousy over not being able to beat Mysterio and that could be a heck of a story.

JBL and the Cabinet meets Evolution. HHH says Ric Flair is the wrestling god and maybe one day someone will believe that JBL is that good. A staredown over belt importance and a WOO to Orlando Jordan ends a terrifying prospect. Somehow, JBL and HHH only had one singles match ever against each other and it was on a random Raw in 2008. You would think they would have met at least a handful of times.

Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider are here.

Edge vs. Christian vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Benoit

Money in the Bank with Tyson Tomko out with Kane. Kane gets a cool entrance where the ladders on the set are on fire. Almost everyone goes after Kane in the aisle and a variety of double teams take him down. Christian tries to use the melee to bring in a ladder but Jericho slams it into his face. A springboard dropkick sends Edge into Benoit to knock them both off the apron, followed by Jericho’s dive onto Edge.

Shelton hits the big running flip dive onto a bunch of people, with Kane adding the top rope clothesline to take down the same pile plus Benjamin for the wipe out. Back in and Jericho dropkicks a ladder into Kane but Benoit German suplexes Jericho, sending the ladder flying in a cool shot. Benoit’s climb is cut off so he Crossfaces Kane and then Edge, the latter of which allows Kane to hit Benoit with the ladder.

To make it worse, Kane crushes Benoit’s arm in the ladder over and over. Edge spears Kane down and it’s the big reunion with Christian, who grabs his own ladder to smash Kane at the same time. Now it’s Shelton coming in to send Christian outside and flapjack Edge into the ladder. Shelton and Jericho fight on top of the ladder until two more ladders are brought in (Lawler: “It’s like open house at Home Depot!”), meaning it’s everyone but Kane on top at the same time.

Benoit, Jericho and Christian are knocked down, leaving Shelton to hit the exploder on Edge off the ladder for the huge crash. Jericho is left to go up but Shelton runs up a second ladder to clothesline Jericho off because he can do something like that. Christian knocks Shelton off the ladder as Kane returns from the short term death that afflicts wrestlers in ladder matches. Tomko comes in and kicks Kane in the face before helping Christian to the top in a bit of a call back to TLC II.

Kane is back up though and shoves the ladder over, sending Christian down to the floor and onto Tomko. Jericho and Kane knock each other off the ladder and everyone is down as we need a breather. With Kane down, Benoit (bleeding from the head) hits the Swan Dive off the ladder. Benoit goes up but has to headbutt Kane off but the arm is too banged up to get the briefcase. Edge blasts Benoit in the arm with a chair though and that’s enough to pull down the briefcase for the win.

Rating: A-. Yeah this was great with more time for drama and fewer instances of having the people laying around forever because there are too many people in the match at the same time. Edge winning is the best call as no one has been chasing the title like him and now he can steal the title down the line. It’s a heck of a fight though with a bunch of awesome spots and stuff that kept the fans interested without many dead spots. Great stuff and an awesome way to debut the concept.

Here’s the still injured Eugene, whose music doesn’t start until halfway down the aisle. This is his second favorite Wrestlemania moment every, after the midget army getting together to fight off King Kong Bundy at Wrestlemania III (Hillbilly Jim was included as well, and he spent a good hour talking about it during his Hall of Fame speech). Cue Daivari and Muhammad Hassan to complain about not being on the show (that they’re on) and rant about the prejudice in Los Angeles.

Hassan is ready to make his own Wrestlemania moment and jumps Eugene, setting up the camel clutch. Cue Hulk Hogan or the REAL AMERICAN save, including a double noggin knocker. Hassan gets sent outside so Daivari can hit Hogan with a chair. Since that doesn’t work, it’s a big boot and another toss to the floor so the posing can commence. Hogan even gets to do the big pose in front of the huge American flag on the stage. Yeah it’s old hat but I’ll always be a Hulkamaniac so this made me smile.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Undertaker. Orton won the World Title last fall but lost it in a hurry and has been on a slow downward spiral since. He needs to get back on track so he’s going after Undertaker and the Streak while turning heel in the process. Orton’s dad Bob is helping him a bit, because Orton has slid far enough that he needs that kind of help.

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

The druids with the torches are here so you know it’s serious. Undertaker glides to the ring for a pretty cool entrance, which goes much faster than usual for a bonus. Orton comes out second for some reason, albeit with his own cool entrance of pyro raining down behind him as he poses with the still awesome Burn In My Light playing. After some early dodging, the first right hand gets Orton launched into the corner.

The dropkick out of the corner gets two and Orton backdrops him for a bump you don’t see from Undertaker that often. The early RKO attempt is shoved over the top as Undertaker is starting a bit slowly here. Old School connects but Orton is back up with a dropkick to the floor to take over. Undertaker’s running DDT gets two and Snake Eyes connects. The ensuing big boot is cut off with a running elbow though, sending the fans straight into a LET’S GO UNDERTAKER/RANDY SUCKS chant.

The slugout goes to Undertaker and we hit the dragon sleeper as Undertaker busts out some different stuff for a change. Orton breaks out and grabs a sleeper, which doesn’t please the crowd. The counter before Orton can take him to the ground is more appealing but Orton is back with a powerslam.

For some reason, Orton hammers away in the corner, meaning he has to escape the Last Ride. The referee gets bumped though and here’s Bob with a cast shot to Undertaker’s head for the close two. Undertaker boots Bob off the apron and grabs the chokeslam, which is reversed into the RKO in midair (one of my favorite counters ever) for two and a big sigh of relief from the fans. For reasons of general cockiness, Orton tries his own Tombstone, which is reversed into the real thing to make Undertaker 13-0.

Rating: B-. It’s a good match but it never came close to that higher level. It would take a little longer for Undertaker to get that much better at Wrestlemania so for now it’s just a good one. Orton was trying here and looked better than he has in a long time, though aside from that one RKO, he never felt like a real threat here. Still though, one hot near fall is better than none and it wasn’t bad by any stretch.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Christy Hemme. It’s the annual Playboy match as we’re now supposed to believe that Christy can wrestle and isn’t just there because of her looks. Lita has been training Christy and is more interesting than anything Christy has been doing. Keep in mind that Christy isn’t at fault here. She isn’t a wrestler and is being thrown into a match because she won a modeling contest. That’s on WWE, not Christy.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Christy Hemme

Trish is defending and Christy has Lita with her. The bell rings and Trish drops to the mat but kicks Christy away in a rather heelish move. They head outside with Trish sending her into the steps, followed by some chops in the corner back inside. The Chick Kick misses and Christy hits one of her own as the fans are just gone for this.

Christy does the splits on top to set up a sunset flip for two, only to have Trish spear her down. We get the BORING chants as Trish stops to yell at Lita, allowing Christy to start in with the kicks. The reverse Twist of Fate and a rollup give Christy two each but Trish has had it. That means the Chick Kick to retain the title and end Christy’s wrestling run.

Rating: D-. Yeah what else were you expecting? Trish was wrestling herself here as Christy was only good for some tumbling and that Twist of Fate. The women’s division is all but dead at this point and it’s likely going to be a long time before things get better. Christy was trying here but had no business in this spot.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels. Angle was annoyed that Shawn eliminated him from the Royal Rumble and beat him up, setting off the big feud. Kurt is annoyed that people were talking about Shawn in 1996 when Angle was an Olympic champion. Now Angle wants to prove that he is the better man on the biggest stage. Shawn is down with that because he’s Shawn Michaels and it’s Wrestlemania. This is more or less WWE saying “yeah it’s going to be a classic and everyone knows it.”

Various celebrities are here.

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels

They stare at each other both before and after the bell until Shawn slaps him in the face. That makes Angle take him to the mat and Shawn is completely outclassed there. A headlock takeover works a bit better for Shawn as the fans are behind Angle for a bit of a surprise. The headlock stays on for a good while as they probably have a lot of time here. Shawn switches over to a short armscissors, allowing Angle to power out ala Bob Backlund (his old mentor).

Shawn is right back with the headlock but this time Angle powers up and takes him into the corner. The ankle lock is quickly broken up and it’s Shawn with a Cactus Clothesline to put them both on the floor. The announcers’ table is loaded up but Angle hits an Angle Slam into the post to take something out of Shawn. A suplex gives Angle two and it’s off to the bodyscissors to stay on the ribs/back.

The belly to belly gets two and it’s a reverse chinlock with a knee in Shawn’s back. Angle’s belly to belly superplex is broken up but Shawn misses the top rope elbow. Shawn is fine enough to backdrop Angle to the floor and he’s crazy enough to hit a high crossbody to the floor with the knee possibly hitting Angle in the face. Angle gets back up and teases the German suplex off the apron to make the fans a little nervous.

A low blow gets Shawn out of trouble and that means the springboard spinning splash onto Angle onto the announcers’ table for less of a pop than you might have expected, mainly because the table doesn’t break. They head back in for the slugout into Shawn’s forearm and nipup so things can pick up again. Sweet Chin Music (way too early) is countered into the ankle lock, setting up the big crawl to the rope. Angle gets it again but this time Shawn reverses into a rollup for two.

Another Sweet Chin Music attempt is countered into the Angle Slam for two as frustration is setting in. In another awesome moment, Angle pulls his straps up so he can pull them right back down again because you know it’s serious. The moonsault misses though (probably spent too much time with the straps) so Shawn goes up, only to get caught in the super Angle Slam for two, meaning Angle looks ready to cry at the kickout.

Angle talks a bunch of trash so Shawn snaps off Sweet Chin Music to shut him up. That gets a very delayed two and they both need a breather. Angle picks the ankle into the ankle lock as he’s right back up but this time Shawn can’t kick away. Shawn fights everywhere but finally gets pulled down into the grapevine for the tap (after a nearly goofy amount of time).

Rating: A+. Yeah what else do you want here? They told an outstanding story with Shawn going with the natural talent but Angle just wanting it that much more and turning up the intensity to a level Shawn couldn’t reach. It made Shawn look like he couldn’t beat Angle on his best night, all while putting in an instant classic. These two went back and forth with one big spot after another and Angle took away a lot of Shawn’s strength by working on the back. Check this one out if you haven’t in a while as it’s worth seeing again.

Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young are here.

It’s time for Piper’s Pit (and I think there was an edit in there as the set was put together in the blink of an eye). Piper thanks the fans for the Hall of Fame but wants to get down to business. He wanted the meanest and baddest man in WWE so his guest is Steve Austin. Cue Austin (with a glass breaking transition as we cut to the stage), with JR saying that he’s back at Wrestlemania. He hasn’t missed one since 2000 so that’s not the biggest accomplishment. Piper asks if Austin is the rebel and slaps him in the face so Austin calls him an SOB and returns the slap. Piper: “I kind of like you.”

With that out of the way, Piper talks about respecting Austin but gets cut off by the WHAT chants, which he doesn’t seem to understand. Piper takes issue with one thing: he was ticking Vince McMahon off when Wrestlemania didn’t even have a number. Austin and James Dean have nothing on Piper when it comes to being a rebel. Austin runs down Piper’s appearance and they get in each other’s faces, allowing Piper to quote Cool Hand Luke about a failure of communication.

Cue Carlito, with Piper and Austin accusing each other of bringing him out. Piper: “I’ll get back to you.” Carlito accuses both of them of arguing like girls, before declaring them both non-cool. Piper: “Who the h*** are you? You look like Alfalfa.” Carlito wants the two of them out of here and loads up the apple but Piper takes it away.

It’s Carlito taking the spit this time so Carlito hits him in the face as Austin laughs. Bored of that, Austin beats Carlito up and Piper sends him outside. Beer is consumed until Austin Stuns Piper. This completely missed as Piper and Austin didn’t have anything to say to each other. Carlito getting to be out there was a nice few moments for him but this was all about the legends, who didn’t need to be there.

It’s immediately time for the sumo match with a much harder cut to Cole and Tazz. They had to edit something out of there and we get a VERY long crowd shot during the next entrance. That was probably to remove the ropes, but it still felt like something was cut.

Upon further review, they aired the You Talking To Me trailer here and announced it as winning the Best Overall Trailer award. They’ve aired that on Raw and Smackdown, so why cut it here?

Akebono vs. Big Show

They do the full traditional opening as the fans are really not interested in this one. We finally get going, they slap each other, pull at the gear a bit, Show lifts Akebono and spins him around, and then Akebono wins. This didn’t work again as it came and went as it just wasn’t the right thing for a show like Wrestlemania. Akebono never wrestled for WWE again and I don’t know if he ever appeared again so I’m not sure what the thinking was here.

We recap John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield for the Smackdown World Title. It’s built around a culture clash with JBL being the old, rich traditionalist while Cena lives by his own rules and cares about the people. Cena won a tournament to get the shot so JBL talked about how people like Cena didn’t deserve to be champion. He couldn’t get Cena to go too far though and Cena is ready to explode here.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is defending and gets a police escort into the arena. Just to show off, we get a shower of JBL dollars, which are always a nice touch. They trade shoulders to start with JBL getting the better of it (the big boot out of the corner probably helped a bit). A suplex gives JBL two and he chokes Cena on the ropes for a bit. Back up and Cena is fine with getting into a slugout but JBL catches him with a Ron Simmons style spinebuster. A neckbreaker and some clotheslines stay on Cena’s neck, followed by a sleeper to do something similar enough.

Cena slips out and it’s a double clothesline to keep up the slow pace. JBL sends him outside for another neckbreaker before going up top for some reason. That earns him a slam out of the air but Cena can’t follow up. Cena starts his comeback but the fans aren’t quite thrilled. The Shuffle gets some energy flowing and after ducking the Clothesline From JBL, the FU gives Cena his first World Title out of nowhere.

Rating: D. Very bleh match here as there was no drama and the match just ended out of nowhere with Cena shrugging off the first ten minutes and winning with very little drama. I know the match itself doesn’t matter that much but Cena wasn’t ready to carry something like this and JBL was never capable of carrying something like this, leaving us with a very underwhelming match.

That’s also the end of JBL’s long title reign and really, it was a lot better than I remember. JBL can talk very well and while his matches weren’t great, it didn’t come close to dragging as a lot of people (myself included) remember. Maybe it was knowing when it was going to end but I didn’t mind this nearly as much as I expected to. JBL winning the title in the first place was a big stretch but he held it a lot better than I would have guessed.

Hall of Fame video. Hogan and Piper were long overdue. Heenan on Iron Sheik’s speech: “WHAT THE H*** DID HE SAY???”

Gene Okerlund brings out the year’s class:

Nikolai Volkoff (sure why not)

Iron Sheik (just don’t let him talk….or maybe let him talk….it could go either way)

Paul Orndorff (belongs in for 1986 alone and is smart enough to point at Miss Jackie)

Bob Orton (always good for a solid performance and still selling the injury from earlier)

Jimmy Hart (yep, and comes off as one of the nicest guys ever in wrestling)

Roddy Piper (would have headlined almost any other class)

Hulk Hogan (odds are we’re not here without him)

We recap the Raw World Title match. HHH has dominated the World Title scene for a long time and has used Evolution to help him hold onto the title. Batista has proven to be unstoppable and then won the Royal Rumble. HHH tried to talk him into going to Smackdown but Batista overheard the evil planning, sending Batista onto a path towards Wrestlemania and the title. This isn’t the hardest result to figure out and the fans are begging to see Batista take the title away from HHH for good.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Batista

HHH is defending and has Ric Flair with him, plus Motorhead plays him to the ring, just in case you thought Batista was cooler. I mean, you can barely understand the words because Lemmy butchers it in a great Brutus Beefcake impression but HHH rising up through the stage makes up for it a bit. Batista doesn’t get much of a pop, mainly due to the lack of the famous band performing his music.

The early power lockup lets them drive each other to the ropes but it’s only good for a standoff. They do it again with HHH’s running shoulder having no effect other than waking HHH up a bit. Another shoulder drops Batista but he’s right back up with something close to a powerslam. Batista hits a backdrop, only to have HHH knock him outside to cut the momentum off again.

Flair’s distraction lets HHH send Batista into the steps and Flair gets in some choking with the jacket. Back in and HHH gets two off a suplex, setting up more Flair choking. Whatever emotion the fans had for Batista after that HHH entrance is long gone now as HHH has beaten him down for about seven of the eight minutes the match has been going so far. Batista slugs away but walks into the spinebuster, because of course HHH needs to hit a spinebuster as he dominates Batista in the biggest match of Batista’s career.

A backdrop breaks up the Pedigree attempt but HHH is RIGHT BACK with the facebuster, leaving him on defense for all of three seconds. HHH goes up and gets clotheslined out of the air to no reaction as the fans are gone. They’re smart enough to realize that HHH is going to cut Batista off again and, as expected, Batista charges into a big boot in the corner just a few seconds later. Batista sends HHH over the corner, only to have HHH whip him into the steps.

The Pedigree onto the steps is countered into a catapult into the post and we’ve got some blood. Back in and it’s time to hammer on the cut as the fans finally have something to cheer about. The big running clothesline in the corner rocks HHH and a powerslam gets two as there isn’t quite the energy in the offense that you would expect. It feels like they’re just doing stuff to fill time until the ending instead of of building something up.

Batista sends him outside but goes after Flair, allowing HHH to grab the chair, which hits the referee by mistake. Flair’s belt shot is countered with a spinebuster but HHH’s belt shot gets two. The fans react to the kickout and Batista hits the spinebuster for the big reaction. That’s too much cheering for HHH’s liking so he hits Batista low. Batista blocks the Pedigree with raw power though and hits something like White Noise. The Batista Bomb finally makes Batista champion.

Rating: C. It was miles better than Cena vs. JBL but egads this didn’t do Batista any favors. This was more about giving HHH a big sendoff as champion than making Batista look like a star and….I can’t say I’m surprised. Batista has looked so dominant and smart for the last six weeks that HHH probably couldn’t help himself from cutting him off. HHH did put him over, but it could have been a lot stronger without HHH beating him up and outsmarting him for the first half of the match. Much like the previous match though, it’s all about what comes next rather than what happened here, but HHH made sure to make himself look good.

The big celebration and highlight package wrap things up.

Overall Rating: B. Much like last year, this really needed forty five minutes to an hour trimmed off (and again it’s easy to see what should be gone) to make it great. As it is it’s quite good but there are a lot of times where it felt like it was dragging. The two World Title matches were outclassed by Money in the Bank and Shawn vs. Angle (not exactly shocking on either front) but they got the endings right and aside from the sumo match and Piper’s Pit (which wasn’t that long), only the very short women’s match is bad (and that has various other positives).

What we got here was a strong Wrestlemania, but it needed some time trimmed off to really make it great. That being said, this is still far better than the five hour monstrosities we get now. It’s a completely watchable, at times great and very important show though, meaning it feels like Wrestlemania. The streak of good Wrestlemanias continues, though the show getting longer isn’t the most encouraging sign. Check out the ladder match and Shawn vs. Angle if you have the time though as they’re worth a second look (or nineteenth look in some cases).

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2009
Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Tazz

This isn’t so much the Royal Rumble as much as it is HHH and Randy Orton are in a match and 28 other guys happen to be in the ring too. Other than that we have Edge challenging the NEW WWE Champion Jeff Hardy and Cena defending against JBL, who has Shawn Michaels and his crisis of conscience working for him at the moment. This wasn’t the best year for WWE so let’s get to it.

No intro video this year. That’s interesting.

ECW Title: Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Swagger won the title about two weeks ago and this is Hardy’s rematch. We actually get big match intros for this, which is a rare sight for an ECW Title match. Matt takes him into the corner to start before punching Jack in the face. Striker calls that a pugilistic endeavor to sound smart. Another punch sends Swagger to the floor and we head back inside for a clothesline from Matt.

Jack heads to the floor to hide after Matt swings again. Back in and Swagger takes Hardy to the mat and cranks on the arm a bit. Hardy comes back with a dropkick in the corner and a bulldog for two, only to go up and get shoved down to the floor. Back in and Swagger starts in on the arm but Hardy quickly escapes a key lock. A punch to Hardy’s arm blocks a clothesline and a big boot gets two for the champion.

Back to the key lock as Jack stays on the arm. He lifts Hardy off the mat by the arm a few times as the fans cheer for the challenger. Matt fights back but he’s basically fighting with one arm here. A bulldog puts Jack down for two and a middle rope elbow to Swagger’s back gets the same.

Hardy walks into a belly to belly suplex from Jack for two though and both guys are down. A DDT on the arm gets two for the champion but Matt blocks a belly to back superplex. Matt hits a decent looking moonsault for two and the fans are getting into these kickouts. The Twist is countered and Jack sends Matt shoulder and possibly head first into the post. The Swagger Bomb retains the title.

Rating: B-. Better match than I was expecting here with both guys looking good out there. Matt was getting close to being something decent as a singles guy and this was his way off ECW and onto Smackdown. Swagger would go on to win a world title and shock the world in the process before falling through the floor soon after. Solid opener here.

Orton arrives and gets glared at.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Melina

Melina is challenging and Beth has Santino with her here. Beth shoves her around to start before easily breaking out of a headlock. A LOUD Santino chant starts up as Beth throws Melina around. Melina comes back with a shot to the head but gets shoved down immediately again. The challenger hooks an armbar of all things but Beth easily stands up while Melina stands on her shoulder.

Melina gets on Beth’s shoulders again but Beth shoves her down in a crash. A running Umaga attack in the corner puts Melina down again and Beth is in full control. In a freaky looking move, Beth grabs Melina’s leg in a kind of ankle lock position and bends the leg forward to make Melina kick herself in the back of the head. FREAKING OW MAN! Melina escapes a gorilla press and fires off some forearms before getting two off a sunset flip. Two knees into Beth’s back have her staggered and a hair drag gets two. Out of nowhere, Melina grabs a spinning rollup for the pin and the title. As sudden as it sounds.

Rating: D+. Not terrible here and the girls looked good so I can’t complain much. That leg lock thing of Beth’s was SICK and it’s one of those moves that just looks painful all around. At the end of the day though, does it matter who has either of the female belts? They’re completely interchangeable and this one was retired the next year.

We recap JBL vs. Cena, which is basically the Shawn Michaels Story. Basically the story went that Shawn was crushed by the financial crash and JBL offered to hire him to help win the title. Shawn helped JBL win a #1 contenders match and the question is will he screw over Cena tonight and compromise his morals? There was a VERY real argument to be made for Shawn vs. JBL at Mania for the title, so this wasn’t a layup. The problem with this story is still there though: Shawn is a world class wrestler with the top company in the world….and he’s broke? He may have lost his savings but he’s not unemployed.

JBL tells Shawn is he wins the title tonight, Shawn is free with a huge payday and he can be in the Rumble tonight, which at the moment he isn’t. Bradshaw leaves and Taker shows up, saying that sometimes it’s a nightmare getting to Heaven.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Cena is defending in case you skipped the previous parts. We get the big match intros here and even a weapons check for old times’ sake. Cena takes him to the mat with a headlock to start but JBL counters into one of his own. A shoulder block puts JBL down and out to the floor as we take a breather. JBL whispers something to Shawn before heading back inside for some clubbing forearms to the back.

Cena slams him down for two though and we’re still in the early stages. JBL heads to the floor again but this time Cena goes after him. He runs into Shawn though and stops cold, allowing JBL to get in a shot to take over. Shawn didn’t move at all. Back in with JBL in control and a standing clothesline gets two. Presumably that one was only from Hoboken.

Off to a chinlock from the challenger as we keep things at JBL’s slow pace. A side slam gets two on Cena and he rolls out to the apron. Layfield knocks him to the floor and then sends him into the stairs for two back inside. Cena fights out of a superplex attempt and hits the top rope Fameasser for two of his own. The champ initiates his finishing sequence with all of his usual stuff including the Shuffle. Shawn hasn’t been a factor in the first nine minutes or so of the match.

JBL escapes the AA but gets caught in the STF instead. Shawn starts grabbing the ropes but doesn’t do anything. Cena lets go of the hold anyway, allowing JBL to kick Cena to the floor. JBL’s Clothesline gets two so he glares at Shawn for some reason. A quick AA attempt misses and JBL kicks the referee down by mistake. The Johns double clothesline each other and it’s time for the big moment.

Shawn gets in the ring and is staring at both guys. Both guys get up and Shawn superkicks John. As in the challenger/him employer. He also kicks the champion/the guy he was hired to take out before leaving. Shawn puts JBL’s arm across Cena, causing the fans to chant for the champ. Another referee comes out and gets a two count for Layfield and both guys get up. Cena hits a quick AA on JBL to retain.

Rating: C-. The match itself was pretty dull but the drama worked well enough to make up for it. At the end of the day, JBL simply wasn’t good enough at this point to hang in a world title match. Cena had to tone it WAY down to let JBL keep up with him and it showed badly. Still though, Shawn more than makes up for it and would go on to have a masterpiece with Taker at Mania so all is well and good.

We recap Edge vs. Hardy. Hardy shocked the world (including me) at Armageddon by winning the title, but a few weeks later he started having a string of “accidents” including having pyro go off in his face and nearly getting killed by a crazy driver. Everyone blamed Edge but he denied responsibility. The question is who is behind all this stuff. Hardy hasn’t had a match that I know of in the meantime. I went to a house show during this period and Hardy didn’t wrestle.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Vickie makes it No DQ for no apparent reason and Chavo is in Edge’s corner because he’s familia. Jeff spears Edge into the corner to start and pounds away as fast as he can. The fans almost immediately start chanting WE WANT CHRISTIAN. Now remember that line as I’ll get back to it later on. Christian had left TNA and word hadn’t broken yet on if he had signed with WWE yet (I don’t think). Anyway, Jeff tries to bring in a chair but Edge kicks it out of his hands before it gets inside.

Hardy pounds away but Edge gets in a shot to take over for the first time. Edge sends him to the floor but can’t hit a baseball slide, allowing Hardy to hit a clothesline off the apron. Back in and Jeff tries a springboard but gets kicked down to the floor for the third time. Edge rams him into various hard objects including tables and the barricade and then another table.

We head back inside again with Edge in full control including a spear in the corner. Jeff grabs a quick two off a sunset flip but gets clotheslined right back down. Off to a body vice by Edge to slow things down a bit. Jeff fights up and hits a mule kick before going up top, only to jump into a dropkick from Edge for two. Now Edge goes to get two chairs but Jeff spears him down off the apron before it can be brought in.

Edge gets back to the apron but gets pulled down into a Twist of Fate onto said apron, sending both guys down onto the floor. Since it’s Jeff vs. Edge, here’s a ladder. Jeff spreads Edge out on the table but Chavo climbs up to slow Jeff down. Edge moves, so Jeff hits a HUGE splash to put Chavo through the table instead. Back in and Jeff gets two off a high cross body. Edge gets up first and pulls a buckle off, only to get caught in the Whisper in the Wind for two.

Out of nowhere Edge counters the Twist into a DDT for a very close two. We’re pretty clearly in the final stages of this match which means it’s getting awesome. Edge counters the slingshot dropkick into a kind of hot shot into the exposed buckle for ANOTHER two. The spear is countered into a Twist of Fate so Jeff goes up. After kicking Vickie away, the Swanton hits but Vickie pulls the referee out. Cue Matt to send Vickie into the ring and pick up a chair. To the shock of a lot of people, Matt cracks Jeff with the chair to give Edge of all people the world title.

Rating: B. This too awhile to get going but once they hit their stride they started acting like Edge and Jeff Hardy in a big match. The No DQ stuff wasn’t needed here but it made things work a bit better. At the end of the day, these two work best when they can turn off the rules and go nuts, which is what they did here.

Now remember earlier that I mentioned Christian. He was originally supposed to be in Matt’s spot, setting up a reunion with Edge. However, WWE felt the fans figured this out so we got Matt in his place. This also happened in 2012 with Sheamus winning the Rumble instead of Jericho. Based on this theory, Shawn should have kept the title at Wrestlemania 14 because almost everyone knew that Austin was winning.

That makes no sense and I don’t get what they think this is accomplishing. It didn’t work out well for Russo and it won’t work out for the WWE. Matt vs. Jeff didn’t work at the end of the day, mainly because I don’t think people wanted to see them fight. I’ll give them this: they did come up with a logical reason for Matt to turn so it’s not a terrible idea. It just wasn’t the best option they had.

Orton says he’ll win. Jericho pops in to thank Orton for punting Vince on Monday but Randy will probably get fired for it.

Rumble by the numbers which is roughly the same as the previous year.

Royal Rumble

Mysterio is #1 and Morrison is #2. Rey kicks him in the face a few times to start but gets put on the apron for trying his sitout bulldog. A springboard cross body puts Morrison down and there’s a big headscissors to take Morrison down. John gets sent to the apron but hangs on by the top rope, even when Mysterio dropkicks him in the ribs. Carlito is #3 and is the second tag champion in here along with Morrison. Those titles would be unified at Mania.

Rey tries a standing moonsault but gets caught in a modified swinging neckbreaker instead. Carlito hits a gorgeous double jump moonsault to take Morrison down and stomping ensues. MVP, currently on a winning streak after losing forever, is #4. There’s Ballin on Morrison and a facebuster to Carlito. Rey get sent to the apron but he saves himself almost immediately.

Great Khali with the awesome dance music is #5. Everybody gets a chop and Khali poses a bit. Mysterio tries to springboard onto him and Carlito tries a Backstabber, both to no avail. Kozlov is #6 and immediately headbutts Khali out by himself. MVP misses a running kick in the corner and he’s gone too (BIG heat on Vlad for that). Carlito is gone after jumping into a spinebuster and Mysterio looks to be up next, but heeeeeeeeeere’s HHH at #7.

Since no one else can get a good match out of Kozlov, you know HHH is going to try his hand at him. They stare each other down and Kozlov hits the headbutt to take him down. The facebuster stuns Kozlov and HHH throws him out wise ease. It’s HHH, Morrison and Mysterio in there at the moment with Rey chilling in the corner. The knee to the face puts Morrison down and Orton is #8.

The battle of Evolution continues and the backbreaker puts HHH down. Both finishers are countered with Morrison breaking up the Pedigree. Rey hits a seated senton on Orton and the 619 on Morrison before JTG is in at #9. Orton tries to put Mysterio out as people start pairing off. Ted DiBiase, as in one of Orton’s lackeys, is #10. Mysterio and DiBiase immediately fight to the apron with Rey doing some gymnastics to stay alive.

Jericho is #11 and goes right for Orton. He can’t get him out so there’s a Lionsault to HHH instead. Jericho is knocked to the apron and Mike Knox is #12. Orton and DiBiase focus on JTG as Knox beats on Rey. HHH saves the masked dude for no apparent reason and Miz is #13. He goes right after JTG and hits something like the Skull Crushing Finale before going after the Game.

Morrison and Mysterio team up on Orton but John and Miz both take RKOs. There’s one for JTG but HHH hits a Pedigree to stop Randy dead. HHH dumps Miz and Morrison to prove how awesome he is and Finlay is #14. Jericho backdrops Mysterio to the floor but he lands on Morrison and hops onto Miz to get back to the ring. Finlay beats on everyone in the ring until Cody Rhodes, the other of Orton’s goons, is #15.

We currently have Mysterio, HHH, Orton, JTG, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay and Rhodes. Legacy (the collective name of the trio) starts picking off people one at a time, starting with Finlay. They don’t actually put anyone out but they get to beat on everyone at least. Rey dives at Orton but gets caught in an RKO in a nice counter. The Undertaker is #16 and here come the punches. His only victim at this point is JTG to clear the ring out a bit.

Goldust of all people is in at #17 and immediately goes for DiBiase. Rhodes pulls his real life brother (Goldust) off so Goldie sends him to the apron a few times. That’s as far as he can get though as an RKO puts Goldust down and Rhodes gets to dump him out. Punk is #18 and happens to be the IC Champion at this point. There’s a GTS for HHH as RKO works on Y2J. Mysterio gets sent to the apron by Knox and Finlay works on Taker.

Mark Henry is #19 and throws a lot of people around but can’t get anybody out. Shelton Benjamin is #20 to fill the ring up even more. Jericho and Punk go up top for no apparent reason other than for Shelton to charge the corner and hit a kind of double DDT to bring them both back down. Billy Regal is #21 and goes right for Punk, who beat him for the IC Title a week or so again.

Mysterio dumps Henry off camera to thankfully get someone out of the ring. HHH is upside down in the corner but he winds up sitting on the apron. Here’s Kofi at #22 to speed things up as well as he can with so many people around him. Taker dumps Benjamin and Kane is #23. After beating up a few people he stares his brother down before they start working together to chokeslam some people.

Punk pulls Regal out and brags about it without getting thrown out. R-Truth is #24 and nothing happens. Rob Van Dam makes a one night only return at #25 after not having been seen in the WWE in about a year and a half. That at least wakes the crowd up but there are too many people in there for his style of stuff to work. He loads up the Five Star but Truth is too close so he has to bail out in mid air.

The Brian Kendrick is #26 back when he was actually a big deal. To show how big he is, he manages to dump Kofi and get thrown out by HHH in about fifteen seconds. Dolph Ziggler gets lucky #27 but only lasts about six seconds longer than Kendrick with Kane getting the point. Your future World Heavyweight Champion ladies and gentlemen. Santino is #28 and breaks Warlord’s record of two seconds in the Rumble by being clotheslined out by Kane before he can even stand up straight.

Jim Duggan makes his token Rumble appearance at #29 and he punches everything in sight, including knocking the Dead Man down. Big Show is #30, giving us a final group of Mysterio, HHH, Orton, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Undertaker, Punk, Kane, R-Truth, RVD, Duggan and Big Show, or half the field in the entire match. Nearly everyone goes after him at once but it’s Duggan that gets tossed instead.

Jericho tries to put a sleeper on Show but it gets about as far as you would expect. Taker throws Punk to the apron as Show dumps Truth. Punk fires off some kicks and hangs on three times so Show finally knocks him out cold and out to the floor. Show knocks out Knox and Mysterio as Horny gets in for no apparent reason. Finlay tries to save him and gets dumped for his efforts at good parenting.

Jericho hits a Codebreaker on Kane and Orton hits the Elevated DDT on HHH. Taker and Show have their required staredown and RVD hits the Five Star on Orton. Jericho comes up behind Van Dam to dump him while Rob holds his ribs. That’s his last WWE appearance to date. Chris turns around and sees Taker who tosses him with glee. Legacy teams up to put Kane out and we’re down to Taker, Big Show, HHH and Legacy.

The trio surrounds Undertaker as HHH gets chokeslammed. Taker does the same to most of Legacy so the giants punch each other a lot until Show gets knocked to the apron and hangs on with his feet flying off the apron. THAT was cool. Not that it matters anyway as he gets RKO’ed out a few moments later but it still looked good. Show pulls Taker to the floor a minute later because that’s how he rolls.

So as people expected at the time, it’s HHH vs. Legacy for the Rumble. Taker and Show fight into the crowd for no apparent reason. HHH goes after Rhodes first but the numbers catch up with him. He gets beaten down and Orton says pick him up. The RKO is countered though and HHH sends Orton to the apron. There goes DiBiase and Rhodes follows, but Orton sneaks up on HHH and throws him out to win the Rumble.

Rating: D. This was one of the weaker Rumbles there’s ever been. For one thing, it was clear that Orton was going to win no matter what happened. Second and probably more important, they got caught in the classic Rumble trap of having WAY too many people in there at once. They didn’t even try the three act structure here and it showed badly. That’s something Pat Patterson was absolutely amazing at and he was gone by this point.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s clear that the company was in a transitional period here and that makes this a hard one to get through. There’s enough good stuff here to check it out, but it’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. The only really solid match is Edge vs. Hardy and even that is nothing really worth seeing. This is a rare instance where the Rumble didn’t dictate how the show went as the rest of it is a far easier sit than the Rumble itself.

Ratings Comparison

Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Original: B

Redo: B-

Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Original: C-

Redo: D+

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: C

Redo: C-

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: C-

So let me get this straight: every match is literally within a single grade of the original but the original is nearly two grades higher? Dang I was REALLY feeling generous that day. A show with an hour long match that gets a D doesn’t sound like a B+ overall to me.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/28/royal-rumble-count-up-2009-the-voices-tell-me-no-one-but-orton-has-a-chance/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 20, 2025
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Wade Barrett, Michael Cole

We’re less than a week away from Saturday Night’s Main Event and less than two weeks away from the Royal Rumble. That means both shows are going to need a push, with Jey Uso challenging Gunther already set for this coming Saturday. Odds are we get some more set up for that and the Rumble tonight so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Nia Jax jumped Rhea Ripley on the way into the building. I guess we’re doing this again.

Here is Jey Uso to get things going. After a long intro, Uso declares that he is now in this city but here is Gunther to interrupt. Gunther isn’t impressed, with Uso saying that he’s going to beat him and hang the World Heavyweight Title in his room. Gunther: “You really are a funny little man.”

Uso has talked about how he bets on himself every day and that had Gunther interested. Then he saw Uso coming out here and acting like a complete dork or a company mascot. Right now, Gunther might as well be fighting Jimmy Uso, which doesn’t have Jey happy. How long will Jey bet on himself?

Until Cody Rhodes or Roman Reigns need him? He is nothing more than a useful idiot and he doesn’t even realize it. Gunther promises to expose him on Saturday. Jey agrees that he is a mascot and the people here are his team. They ride with him and they’ll be there Saturday when he wins the title. Gunther is going to respect him because Jey is the one who main evented Wrestlemania. The fight is on and Jey superkicks him out to the floor. There isn’t much in the way of drama for the match, but this is a fine story to tell.

New Day runs into JBL, who they’re sure will understand them. JBL is the guest commentator for their match against Rey Mysterio tonight and pay him off. Kofi Kingston brings up JBL cutting the dead weight of Ron Simmons from the APA and JBL gets it. You have Big E. with all that muscle and charisma and everyone loves him and that leaves people to cheer Kingston….I guess. New Day isn’t impressed.

Bayley says she is officially back on Raw and ready for Nia Jax tonight. And she’s in the Women’s Royal Rumble. Jax comes in and…her mic isn’t on at first but says she’s going to win the Royal Rumble. Violence is teased but nothing comes of it.

Rey Mysterio vs. Kofi Kingston

JBL is on commentary and Xavier Woods is here with Kingston. Hold on though as New Day comes out in street clothes and say cut the music. Kingston is starting to get annoyed with all of this and wants his money back from JBL. Now it’s time for the match, and Kingston is going to wrestle like this. Kingston knocks him into the corner as JBL says he has to be behind Mysterio for the only time ever.

A running shoulder drops Mysterio as JBL says he had a 98.7 degree ever when he lost his retirement match to Mysterio. Mysterio gets sent face first into the apron and Kingston stomps away in the corner as the beating begins. A sunset bomb doesn’t work for Mysterio but he sends Kingston into the steps as we take a break. Back with Kingston working on the arm and taking Mysterio up top. That’s broken up, only for Mysterio to miss a springboard high crossbody.

A basement dropkick gives Mysterio two but Kingston’s top rope splash to the back gets the same. Mysterio fights back but gets tripped by Woods, who is knocked off the apron. The 619 connects but a slingshot splash hits Kingston’s raised knees. Kingston tries what looks to be the SOS, only for Mysterio to reverse into a cradle for the pin at 10:30.

Rating: B-. Maybe not a great match here, but I kind of like Kingston losing. The key to the New Day deal is that they are completely in denial about what happened with Big E. and no one (save for Wade Barrett so far) is on their side. All they have to do is talk about that again and maybe find someone who agrees with them and they’ll be fine. It’s a weird way to go, but it works.

Post match the beatdown is on but the LWO runs in for the save. New Day bails but comes back in to take out Joaquin Wilde.

We look back at Penta’s debut.

American Made isn’t happy with what happened last week and promise to win a bunch of titles. Chad Gable has someone to help him master lucha libre: Dominik Mysterio.

We look at Wade Barrett winning the first season of NXT nearly fifteen years ago in this arena.

Here is Sami Zayn for a chat. He’s in the Royal Rumble and that’s because it’s time for him to move into the top level of WWE. Zayn has done a lot of great things and he has had a great life and career. The difference between himself and the top stars is a World Title. He doesn’t need one to validate his career but 14 year old him wants a World Title and he is going to take it.

Cue Kevin Owens (uh oh) and Zayn looks like he’s seeing a ghost. Zayn says he knew it was a matter of time before Owens showed up, so how does he want to do this. Owens isn’t sure what he means and talks about Zayn teaming with Roman Reigns. Owens didn’t get it at first, but it makes sense because Zayn is a good guy.

They are closer than brothers and the one thing they haven’t done is main event Wrestlemania against each other. That can happen because Zayn can win the Royal Rumble and Owens can beat Cody Rhodes. Owens has Zayn’s back and he knows Zayn will have him if he needs it. That’s enough for Owens to leave and Zayn looks confused. It’s been done to death, but you know things are getting serious when these two get together.

Sheamus is ready to win the Intercontinental Title because it is the one title he has never won and it drew him to WWE in the first place. Bron Breakker comes in to hold up the title and says this is as close as Sheamus is getting to it. On Saturday, he’s going to beat him like an old man. Sheamus shoves him away and Breakker laughs.

In Memory Of Bob Uecker.

Bayley vs. Nia Jax

Roxanne Perez from NXT is in the front row. Bayley hammers away in the corner to start and grabs a DDT for an early two. Jax isn’t having that and headbutts her in the chest for two of her own to take over. Another knockdown sets up a release Rock Bottom out of the corner to plant Bayley again. Bayley breaks up the Annihilator though and knocks Jax outside, setting up an argument with Perez.

That’s enough for Perez to be dragged out by security and we take a break. Back with Bayley dropping an elbow for two and they fight to the apron, with Bayley hitting a sunset bomb into the post. Bayley’s Annihilator and a middle rope elbow get two each but Jax sends her into the corner for a running shoulder.

Bayley gets sent shoulder first into the post but the Annihilator is broken up again. They go up top and another sunset bomb gives Bayley two, setting up the best looking top rope elbow she’s had in a bit for the same. The pop up Samoan drop and a backsplash crush Bayley and the Annihilator finishes her off at 15:19.

Rating: B. They work enough together and that helps the fact that I’ve seen this match far too often. It’s a weird way to go to have Bayley move over to Raw and then lose in her first match, though Jax is getting ready for another showdown with Rhea Ripley. Kind of a strange way to go but the match was good.

Post match Rhea Ripley, still banged up, comes out for the brawl with Jax, with Jax getting in a splash. Security can’t break it up and the fight heads outside with Ripley knocking her through the barricade. Ripley gets the mic and issues the challenge for Saturday Night’s Main Event.

We look back at Damian Priest beating Finn Balor last week.

Chad Gable is in the back with the Judgment Day and talks about learning the secret arts of lucha libre from Dominik Mysterio. He gets the members’ names wrong and leaves, with the rest of the team (minus Balor) being sure Balor will like it. Liv Morgan and Mysterio seem to be ok, with Morgan having an idea.

We look at Lyra Valkyria winning the inaugural Women’s Intercontinental Title last week.

We get the annual Martin Luther King Jr. video.

We look at the Notre Dame football coach talking about being a big wrestling fan.

Sami Zayn comes up to Seth Rollins and says he appreciates their talk last week. Rollins is glad to hear it but they’ll both throw the other out of the Royal Rumble. Karrion Kross is shown smiling in the back.

Penta vs. Pete Dunne

We hear about their history in Rev Pro as they strike it out to start. Penta gets the better of things but Dunne goes after his fingers, which doesn’t go well as Dunne works on the fingers. Back up and Dunne tries a moonsault out of the corner but gets superkicked out of the air for his efforts. Penta gets knocked onto the apron though and we take a break.

Back with Penta hitting a reverse Sling Blade int a slingshot dropkick in the corner. A Death Valley Driver plants Dunne for two and a Canadian Destroyer sends him crashing out to the floor. One heck of a running flip dive to the floor hits Dunne but he’s fine enough to work on the fingers back inside. Penta backbreakers his way to freedom and it’s the Sacrifice to leave Dunne in more trouble. The Penta Driver finishes at 10:01.

Rating: B-. Penta has another good match and looks successful with the win. That’s all this should have been, if not a bit shorter, as Penta has hit the ground running on Raw. I could go for seeing something more from him, and WWE certainly seems to know there is something to him. Another solid match here, with Penta likely in for another one next week.

Logan Paul thinks it must suck to hate him because he’s just so good at everything. Why should WWE be any different? He makes his Raw debut next week.

Here is CM Punk for a chat in the crowd. After hitting his catchphrase, Punk is asked about the various ways to get to the main event of Wrestlemania. We hear about the stacked Royal Rumble field, so why is this one different? Punk says it’s because of history, like the history he made when he won the first main event of Raw on Netflix. He’ll make that same kind of history in two weeks, which is when the lights and pressure are on the most.

That is when he is at his best and he can’t see John Cena throwing him out. Roman Reigns needed his help at WarGames and he isn’t worried about anyone, from Sami Zayn to Drew McIntyre to Hulk Hogan (Jackie Redmond’s jaw dropped at that one). At the Royal Rumble, he’s settling debts and calling in a favor if he needs to. This felt like Punk was told “you’ve got two and a half minutes, talk about the Royal Rumble” and it worked fine. The Hogan line alone was gold, if nothing else for Jackie’s reaction.

Pure Fusion Collective vs. Damage CTRL

Baszler and Kai start things off before it’s quickly off to Stark for a great looking springboard missile dropkick. The villains take turns beating on her until Baszler grabs a choke. That’s broken up in short order and it’s Sky coming in to pick up the pace. The top rope dropkick hits Stark and the Bullet Train Attack gets two. Sonya Deville’s distraction slows things down though and Stark plants Sky. Baszler hits a running knee for two with Kai making the save. Sky knocks Baszler down again and hits Over The Moonsault for the win at 6:34.

Rating: C. Not much to this one, partially due to not having a ton of time. It doesn’t help that it feels like these teams have been feuding for a good while without getting very far. They might have something with the whole attack on Kairi Sane, but that might take some time to come up again.

Saturday Night’s Main Event rundown.

Video on Seth Rollins vs. Drew McIntyre.

Seth Rollins vs. Drew McIntyre

They shove each other to start before running the ropes. Rollins jumps over him but gets dropped with a shoulder to slow things back down. A Sling Blade puts McIntyre own on the floor though and Rollins is right there with the suicide dives. The third is countered into an overhead belly to belly suplex onto the announcers’ table though and we take a break. Back with Rollins in trouble but managing a victory roll for two.

A suplex is broken up and McIntyre is sent into the post a few times. Rollins wraps the arm around said post and hits a top rope knee to the head for two. A Swanton gets two more and Rollins takes him up for the superplex. McIntyre reverses into a Falcon Arrow for two but the Claymore misses. The Stomp is countered into a spinebuster for two but Rollins is back with a Falcon Arrow of his own.

The Pedigree doesn’t work for Rollins as McIntyre powers out and hits a hard clothesline. McIntyre goes up but dives into a crossface on the bad arm. The rope is grabbed for the save so Rollins yells a lot, only to get caught in a Futureshock for two. McIntyre slowly hits a clothesline but tries a second, allowing Rollins to roll him up for the pin at 17:00.

Rating: B. These two work well together and they’re two of the top stars on Raw at the moment. It was nice to see Rollins get a win back after last week and it isn’t like a loss is going to do much damage so close to the Royal Rumble. That match should change just about everything for everyone and this was a good way for two people to close out a show with a strong match.

Post match McIntyre attacks Rollins but here is Sami Zayn for the save. McIntyre headbutts Zayn down and goes after Rollins again, with Zayn’s Helluva Kick accidentally hitting Rollins. McIntyre leaves and Rollins stares at Zayn, who tries to calm things down as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: B. This was just over two and a half hours and that’s a nice enough sweet spot for the show thus far. Going three hours for a regular show doesn’t feel like the best idea so downsizing things a bit has been a nice treat. The Royal Rumble is in about two weeks and then everything is going to boost up into a higher gear. For now though, it’s another good Raw with solid action and enough things being moved forward at the right time.

Results
Rey Mysterio b. Kofi Kingston – Rollup
Nia Jax b. Bayley – Annihilator
Penta b. Pete Dunne – Penta Driver
Damage CTRL b. Pure Fusion Collective – Over The Moonsault to Baszler
Seth Rollins b. Drew McIntyre – Rollup

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