Fusion #7
Date: June 1, 2018
Location: Gilt Nightclub, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Rich Bocchini, Tony Schiavone

With Pentagon out of the way, it’s time for Shane Strickland to find a new challenger to the World Title. I’m not sure who that can be as Tom Lawlor would seem to be one of the best options but he’s busy with Jimmy Havoc at the moment. Other than that, you never can tell what you might see on this show, which can be both good and bad. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The backstage interviewer is outside Jeff Cobb’s (Lucha Underground’s Matanza) locker room when the Stud Stable comes in with Colonel Parker promising to put Cobb on a stretcher tonight.

Opening sequence.

Jake Hager vs. Jeff Cobb

Hager is better known as Jack Swagger and is part of the Stud Stable. Cobb, who the fans seem to like, is a fellow wrestling machine but is built more like Samoa Joe. Hager wastes no time in taking Cobb into the corner and tossing him across the ring in an impressive power display. A German suplex gets Cobb out of trouble for a few seconds but a clothesline to the back of the head takes him right back down. It’s too early for the ankle lock so the announcers start talking about the rest of the card instead of what’s going on here. Dang it MLW not you too.

Cobb fights out of a chinlock and forearms away in the corner but charges into a pair of boots. The Vader Bomb gets two but Cobb is fine enough to hit an Oklahoma Stampede for two of his own. Cobb can’t hit the Tour of the Islands and misses the standing shooting star press as well. The second Vader Bomb hits boots but Hager reverses into the ankle lock for the tap at 6:40.

Rating: C. Hager is someone who could be a player around here as he has the WWE pedigree and still looks like a killer. The Stud Stable could use a singles name like him too as just being a tag team isn’t going to get them very far. Cobb is a good choice to have around as well but given a loss like this, which was mostly one sided, I’m not sure how big he’s going to be around here.

Cobb is taken out on a stretcher and after a break, goes into an ambulance with a fractured ankle. That’s a great way to get the ankle lock over early on.

Quick look at Strickland retaining last week.

Shane says that was a hard match last week and is glad that the title is still around his waist. He runs into Salina de la Renta, who says it’s not over. Shane isn’t intimidated but she says be careful what you wish for. She has someone in mind for him.

Next week: Fred Yehi vs. Tom Lawlor.

Team Filthy doesn’t think anything of Yehi because he’s a little guy (“About yay high.”).

Sami Callihan and his big bald (and still unnamed) friend say they’re still taking over everything. Thanks for the update on that one.

Maxwell J Friedman is having some champagne at ringside.

The MLW Top Ten:

10. ACH

9. Jake Hager

8. Joey Janela

7. Barrington Hughes

6. Jimmy Havoc

5. MVP

4. Sami Callihan

3. Rey Fenix

2. Pentagon Jr.

1. Tom Lawlor

So Lawlor is #1 contender. I guess that should do it for Havoc’s deal, at least for now.

Rich Swann vs. Kotto Brazil

This is Swann’s MLW debut and he’s dancing, despite not having the fastest music in the world. We get a CAN YOU HANDLE THIS chant to start and the dancing continues, so at least Swann still has some holdover appeal from WWE. They trade headlocks to start before switching to a long pinfall reversal sequence into a standoff. A jumping Stunner from Brazil cranks the pace up a little bit and a springboard forearm makes Swann hold his face.

Brazil grabs a chinlock (needs more grabbing of the chin) to keep things in control as Friedman doesn’t seem impressed. Swann is back up with a dropkick and the pace actually slows a bit. A SHH chop is loaded up in the corner but Swann punches him in the face instead. Something like a torture rack with Swann on one knee and bending Brazil down a bit has him in more trouble as Swann is being very, very cocky here. Like, to the point where he’s almost a heel which….isn’t the worst idea in the world.

A missile dropkick gets two on Brazil and now it’s an abdominal stretch with Swann picking up the leg off the mat. With that going nowhere, Swann goes up and dives into….I think it was supposed to be a dropkick but was kind of a leg to the ribs instead. A Blockbuster (which actually connects) gives Brazil two but Swann comes back with a Lethal Injection. Brazil pulls him down into a reverse Rings of Saturn (Naomi used it for a bit last year) and then a Crossface for good measure. Swann makes a rope and they slug it out with Brazil going down, setting up the Phoenix splash to give Swann the pin at 12:59.

Rating: C-. What in the world was that? Like really, what were they going for here? If you’re bringing in Swann, a former champion in WWE and someone who got a strong reaction, as a heel (which is doable), don’t have him go move for move with someone who has never actually won a match around here. If you’re bringing him in as a face, which seems to be the idea with Friedman not being pleased, don’t have him being so cocky and having so many problems. This should have been about seven minutes shorter and more of a squash, so I’m really not sure what they were going for here.

They shake hands post match to make things even more confusing. Swann leaves but here’s Sami Callihan to hit Brazil with a baseball bat.

Sami Callihan vs. Joey Janela

Sami has two monsters with him, one of whom is the bald guy we’ve seen before but the other is an even bigger guy with messy hair (who appears to be Sawyer Fulton from NXT). If nothing else, Sami has a cool nickname with the Worldwide Desperado. Joey has Aria, who apparently used to be a backstage interviewer around here, in his corner as usual. Friedman is still at ringside so maybe we’re not done yet.

Janela knocks Callihan into the two monsters (with Fulton being seen on the jacket of the guy with hair, meaning we at least have one person confirmed) and the fans are rather pleased. Back in and Callihan clotheslines him down but Joey forearms away with reckless abandon. That just earns him a piledriver on the apron (they use that way too much) and we take a break. We come back with Janela hitting a sunset bomb for a breather and a Death Valley Driver gets three….but there’s a boot on the ropes.

So we keep going with the fans still behind Janela, though they oddly quiet down when he scores with some superkicks. Sami’s piledriver is no sold (erg) and he hits a fifth superkick before going down. A slugout goes to Janela but he misses a moonsault for a big crash. They head outside with Janela being sent into Friedman, who beats the heck out of him for messing up the champagne. Back in and Sami’s double underhook shoulder breaker is good for the pin at 9:03.

Post match Friedman beats up the bloody Janela even more and pours champagne on him to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was the first real miss of the series with only one debut hitting and two matches being ranging from badly booked to just not being interesting in the first place. Maybe it’s me not liking some of the people on this show but it’s not a good sign when the Stud Stable and Colonel Parker were the best things on the show. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt until next week but I really hope this isn’t the way they’re heading most of the time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

WrestleCon Supershow
Date: April 5, 2018
Location: Sugar Mill, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 1,200
Commentators: Excalibur, Marty DeRosa

This is a special show that I took in during Wrestlemania weekend. The idea here is pretty obvious: take a bunch of people and put them into a big show with mostly unannounced matches between announced talent. The main event is the Golden Lovers vs. Chuckie T./a mystery partner due to Trent Barretta being forced out of the match due to injury. This should be a lot of fun so let’s get to it.

I was sitting in the arena in the bleachers, on the right hand side if you’re looking at the entrance (as the hard camera was). Of note, if I looked over my shoulder I could see the wrestlers coming down some stairs to their entrance. Several of them would sit on a balcony at the top of the stairs chatting throughout the night.

The opening is cut off of the version that I’m watching (assuming it was recorded). Excalibur came to the ring and dedicated the show to a man named Mark Hitchcock, who had worked for the company for years and designed this year’s logo. He recently passed away on his honeymoon and the show will be dedicated to him every year going forward. Nothing wrong with that and a nice moment.

The audio is VERY hard to understand, which was an issue in the building as well. Thankfully the commentary is much better.

Joey Janela vs. Penta El Zero M

Janela has a rather fetching woman named Penelope Ford with him. I’ve heard a lot about Janela before but I’ve never actually seen one of his matches. He’s described as a bad boy, seems to like the 80s, and has no physique. CERO MIDEO is incredibly popular here, just as it was last year. The referee calls for the bell….and nothing happens so Bryce Remsburg (a hilarious indy referee and a VERY nice guy) says start it anyway.

Pentagon does CERO MIEDO so Janela flips him off, earning a kick to the ribs. Something close to a low blow puts Janela down and Pentagon goes to yell at Ford. A dive is cut off by a shot to the mask and the Death Valley Driver onto the apron (THUD) knocks Pentagon silly. Pentagon gets sat in a chair in front of the barricade for a bicycle kick but a second is blocked with a superkick.

Back in and Janela bicycle kicks his way out of trouble again as the announcers try to explain the concept of the WrestleCon Supershow with nothing actually on the line other than pride and performances. The package piledriver is teased by both guys as the announcers bring up the piledriver being banned by the Louisiana State Athletic Commission.

There’s another kick to Janela but Ford grabs Pentagon’s foot to set up a not bad superplex. The crashes on those things, especially in such a small arena with a circle of lights not too far above the ring, are really impressive. Pentagon is right back up to superkick Janela out of the air before giving Ford the same thing. Janela gets his arm snapped and the Pentagon Driver is good for the pin at 7:57.

Rating: D+. Just a match to set the ball rolling here and I still don’t get the point of Janela. The announcers spent most of the match talking about how drunk he was the night before and that’s not exactly the most interesting character in the world. Pentagon is still rather awesome, though it’s not as cool as he is in Lucha Underground. Not a bad match, but I need something a little better than this. Then again, last year’s opener was nothing special either.

Here’s Joey Ryan for the Andy Kaufman Intergender Open Challenge. Ryan is in even in the white bath robe that Kaufman wore in Memphis back in the 80s. He yells at the fans to listen to him because he’s from Hollywood (this sounds strangely familiar). Joey pulls some soap out of his pocket and explains how to use it (just add water) with the announcers not even hiding the fact that this is copied from Kaufman. He also has a razor, which some of the women around here could use.

There are some areas where women are better than men: like cooking and cleaning. The robe comes off to reveal the white body suit and blue shorts (again, just like Kaufman) and issues the open challenge to any woman. Now, gender issues aside, the ONLY person who should be answering this challenge is Jerry Lawler. AND HERE’S JERRY LAWLER! Excalibur: “SOMEONE CALL DAVID LETTERMAN!”

Lawler says that he first piledrove Kaufman thirty five years ago today and Joey Ryan is no Andy Kaufman. However, Jerry is fine with allowing Joey experience what the real Andy went through. Ryan agrees, before pointing out that Lawler can’t use the piledriver in Louisiana. Lawler is confused and the bell rings with him pleading his case.

Jerry Lawler vs. Joey Ryan

Hang on a second though, as Ryan is rather confident. He’s so secure that he’s willing to allow Lawler to touch his….yeah. Lawler, still holding the crown, isn’t sure what to think as the fans implore him to do just that. Joey stands in front of him with his legs spread so Lawler kicks him low….for no effect. Fans: “SO BIG! SO STRONG!” With that not working, Lawler reaches out his hand…..AND SHOOTS A FIREBALL AT RYAN’S CROTCH! DeRosa: “SOMEWHERE JIM CORNETTE IS LOSING HIS MINE!” Of course that’s a DQ 2:08.

Lawler is annoyed but holds up the crowd anyway. Oh and worry not because Ryan insists that he’s fine. Fans: “SIX STAR MATCH!”

Team Lee vs. Team Dashwood

Trevor Lee, Caleb Konley, Jake Manning, Maxwell Jacob Friedman, Zane Riley

Tenille Dashwood, Madison Eagles, Nicole Savoy, Shazza McKenzie, Tessa Blanchard

Lucha rules. This is the signature match of the show with last year’s serving as possibly the match of the weekend. This year’s is obviously men vs. women and you might not know everyone here. Lee and Konley are from Impact, Manning is an adult scout who ALWAYS reads his manual, Friedman is just a guy and Riley is 305lbs. Dashwood is the former Emma, Eagles is an Australian woman who stands about 6’2, Savoy has been in Shimmer forever, McKenzie has been on the indies for a good while and Blanchard has popped up in NXT a few times.

Dashwood’s team is out first with the captain showing more energy and fire than she ever showed in WWE. In between entrances, the announcers mock the athletic commission for banning piledrivers but approving brainbusters. DeRosa: “You’ve had Rude’s Brood. You’ve had the Foreign Fanatics. Now you have Trevor Lee and His Dickhead Friends.” Lee brags about being part of Impact Wrestling and promises Friedman, Riley and Manning contracts if they win here.

Friedman thinks there’s no point in wasting time with the match so he and Dashwood should get straight to smooching. He has a seat in a chair but gets slapped, drawing in Riley to check on him. Now if you don’t get where this is going, you haven’t paid enough attention. After Riley is done kissing Friedman (Friedman: “WHAT THE F***???”), Dashwood kicks them both down and we’re ready to go.

Lee gets sent into 619 position and it’s Tessa with a hip attack to the back. Trevor will have none of that though and runs her over with a clothesline, only to run into Eagles (Lee: “OH S***!”). Manning, still reading the manual, locks up with Savoy, who takes the book away to Manning’s panic. Remsburg is nice enough to hold up the book while Savoy grabs a cross armbreaker.

With the hold still on the arm, Zane grabs a chinlock on Savoy, Blanchard grabs a heel hook, Konley puts Tessa in an abdominal stretch, Shazza waistlocks Caleb, Trevor pulls McKenzie’s hair, Emma puts Lee in a dragon sleeper and Eagles puts Zane in an Indian Deathlock. ALL AT THE SAME TIME mind you, with Bryce flipping through the manual to figure out what to do. Friedman breaks things up but runs into Eagles as well, earning one heck of a right hand.

We hit the big exchange of strikes to put everyone down until Dashwood rams Jake’s face into the buckle over and over. There’s the Emma Lock (Tenille Tarantula), followed by Savoy hitting a VERY hard suicide dive onto Manning. Tessa dives onto Konley and Lee and McKenzie crossbodies Zane to the floor. Jake is back up and trust falls onto everyone, only to come back in for the Taste of Tenille.

Riley crushes Dashwood but Eagles GERMAN SUPLEXES HIM in a crazy power display. Friedman is back up with a poke to the eye but it’s Konley with a backsplash to McKenzie. A belly to back suplex drops Savoy but she punches her way out of a Doomsday Device. We get the Tower of Doom (well duh) with everyone landing on Friedman for a good comedy spot.

Rating: B-. It wasn’t last year’s match but that’s not a fair comparison to make. What we got here was a lot of fun though and the women never felt like they were in over their heads here. This was a lot of fun and the wild insanity that it should have been, but it felt really short. You’re only going to be able to get so much out of a ten minute match, especially with this many people packed in. Maybe their time was cut short but it needed more to get to that other level. Still good though.

Jeff Cobb vs. Tomohiro Ishii

Now this could work. Cobb is better known as Matanza from Lucha Underground and is an Olympic wrestler who weighs 270lbs. Last year he and Bobby Lashley had a disappointing hoss match so hopefully this is an upgrade. We start with the logical exchange of shoulders and neither really goes anywhere. Cobb finally knocks him down and it’s time for the forearm exchange, which lasts A FULL MINUTE.

That’s finally enough for Cobb, who scores with a powerslam for no cover. Hopefully no concussions either. Ishii is right back with a powerslam of his own and the fans are right back into him. They fight over a suplex with Ishii stomping on the feet not being enough to get him up. Ishii FINALLY muscles him over for the suplex but can’t follow up. That’s fine with Cobb, who lifts him from the mat into a somewhat delayed vertical and now Ishii is in trouble.

Deadlift rolling German suplexes get two on Ishii and a big release German suplex into the corner gets two. A bridging pumphandle suplex gets the same and NOW we’re firmly in the hoss battle mode. For some reason Cobb thinks it’s a good idea to talk trash, including yelling about strong style. Fans: “YOU F***** UP!” Ishii headbutts the arm and blasts Cobb in the corner before loading up the superplex. Of course that means a slugout on top but Cobb does come down with a big bounce for a double knockdown.

Back up and they both no sell German suplexes, followed by Cobb winning a headbutt exchange but going down as well. An overhead belly to belly gives Cobb two but the Tour of the Islands (swinging powerslam) is broken up. Ishii drops him with a clothesline for two and everyone is stunned at the kickout. Ishii’s sliding lariat is countered into a choke for a throw into the corner. An enziguri rocks Cobb though and the brainbuster (really a suplex due to Cobb’s size) is enough to give Ishii the pin at 15:05.

Rating: B+. THIS is what Cobb vs. Lashley should have been as this really did feel like the hoss battle that these two are great at. They beat the heck out of each other here and it was all about who would survive instead of who won. I had a good time with this one and Cobb looked like a star throughout. Really fun power brawl and both guys looked like stars.

Flamita/Bandido vs. Rey Fenix/Rey Horus

Oh man I’ve been wanting to see this one again. Fenix is of course Fenix and Horus is El Dragon Azteca Jr. Flamita and Fenix start things off with some wrestling, which lasts all of twenty seconds before it’s time to start flipping. Fenix tries a Lethal Injection but Flamita walks on his hands to escape. Neither can hit a strike so stereo dropkicks give us a standoff. Horus and Bandido come in with Horus spinning off the top into an armdrag but it’s off to Flamita for a boot in the corner.

A missile dropkick sends Horus to the floor so Fenix comes in, grabs Flamita by the wrist and walks the ropes. That earns him a chop so Fenix bounces onto the top rope and back to the top (as in he was standing on the middle, dropped onto his back on the top, and jumped back up top for a wristdrag). You know, because OF COURSE HE CAN DO THAT! Bandido comes back in and spins around into an ankle scissors on Fenix, only to charge into a kick to the face. A powerbomb puts Fenix down and it’s time for the chops, which makes Remsburg cringe too.

Fenix gets taken down again and that means some Motor City Machine Guns with the Dream Sequence. A bicycle kick drops Fenix again, FINALLY drawing Horus in for some help. Horus ducks a dropkick so it knocks Bandido outside instead, followed by a standing hurricanrana for two. Bandido is on the floor so it’s a slingshot hurricanrana, followed by a dive from Flamita and a springboard senton dive from Fenix. Bandido corkscrew planchas onto everyone and they’re all down on the floor for a breather.

Back in and it’s a chop off between Fenix and Flamita with the length being worse than the sounds. Flamita DDTs Fenix for two and Horus takes him to the middle rope for a super victory roll and two of his own. Something like a spinning GTS and a powerbomb gives Bandido two on Horus and everyone is down again. Back up and Fenix rolls into a cutter for two before crotching Flamita on the top. Horus is right back up too with a super reverse hurricanrana, followed by a top rope backsplash from Fenix.

Somehow that’s not enough either so Fenix throws Horus at Flamita for a tornado DDT. Horus charges at Bandido in the corner but DIVES over the top onto Flamita in one of the best fake outs I’ve ever seen (I didn’t see what he was planning live or on tape). Back in and Fenix hits a spinning Muscle Buster to FINALLY finish Bandido at 12:23.

Rating: A-. Yep. This was absolutely incredible live and my goodness I can’t believe how well it holds up. These four were going insane out there with a full on lucha libre match and had the fans, myself included, going nuts. Just an incredible performance here with no psychology or flow to it, which is exactly how it should be in this case. You watch these kinds of matches to see crazy flips, dives and spots and that’s what we got here. Great stuff and check this out if you can find it.

The fans throw money in the ring (a lucha libre thing) as we go to intermission.

Actually cancel that intermission, as the show is running long and we don’t have time for that. Thank goodness as this was about 11pm local time and there are four matches left.

Chico El Luchador/Psicosis/Super Crazy vs. Jason Cade/Matt Classic/Teddy Hart

Chico is Rocky Romero and substituting for Juventud Guerrera in the Mexicools reunion that no one wanted. Cade was in last year’s ten man tag and looked like a star. Hart is a member of the Hart Family but a complete jerk and flippy guy. Classic is Colt Cabana under a mask and wrestling like he’s from the late 1940s. Excalibur on the Mexicools: “We didn’t have them come out here on the lawnmowers because we’re not racist dicks.” DeRosa: “And they would cut up the mats.” Excalibur: “And we’re not racist dicks.”

The announcers go over Chico vs. Classic, which predated El Canek vs. Andre the Giant. With Classic continuing his pre-match workouts (neck bridges and Hindu squats) and pulling his trunks halfway up his chest, we’re ready to go with Classic vs. Chico as the rivalry is renewed. Classic throws Chico around as the announcers say this feud has been on a break for about thirty years. Chico grabs an abdominal stretch for a second but Classic is right back with the CLAW, because he gets old school.

That’s escaped with a spin out and Chico grabs a towel to turn this into a bullfight. Classic is knocked outside and Chico strikes a pose before handing it off to Psicosis and Cade. They hit the mat as Classic is still exercising on the apron. That goes nowhere so it’s off to Crazy vs. Hart (Excalibur: “Super Crazy vs. super crazier”) for an exchange of armdrags. Hart rolls out of the corner into a sunset flip before it’s back to Chico for a chop on Classic.

Everything breaks down and Classic gets dropped as everything breaks down. Chico suicide dives onto Cade but Hart moonsauts onto everyone (Excalibur: “YOU DON’T LEARN THAT IN THE DUNGEON!”). Classic gets on the top, then the middle, then the bottom, then just drops off the apron as the fans can’t get their HOLY S*** chants in sync. Back in and Crazy can only hit two moonsaults (they still look great) as Cade moves from the third attempt. Not that it matters as Crazy rolls Cade up for the pin at 9:56.

Rating: D+. Again, what was the point of the Mexicool reunion? Who in the world needed to see that? Classic was a lot of fun and the announcers made his stuff with Chico that much more fun but other than that, this was really skippable. Hart and Cade were just kind of there and there’s nothing much worth talking about. I guess it was just for an ECW reunion and….ok?

Teddy walks around the ring very slowly for the sake of getting on camera more.

Adam Brooks vs. Sammy Guevera vs. Shane Strickland vs. Will Ospreay

I got to chat with Sammy last year and while I haven’t heard much from him since, he was a nice guy while he talked to me and I can’t ask for more than that. Strickland is the International King of Swerve. I’m not sure what that means and….I think I’m good that way. Ospreay is VERY banged up after a botched spot in Japan so he’s looking rather pathetic with a big bunch of tape on his shoulder and neck.

We hit the trash talk to start until Brooks and Strickland knock the other two outside. That means a string of not hitting each other until Guevara and Ospreay come back in for a double dropkick. That means the big showdown (as big as you can get about two minutes into the match that is) and again they speed things up with neither hitting anything until Sammy snaps off a headscissors.

Strickland comes back in for a 619 to the ribs and rolls into a cutter. Brooks slides in for a sliding dropkick as the announcers try to figure out the New Orleans area code. Ospreay gets loaded up for the Cheeky Nandos kick but Brooks pokes him in the eye instead. That’s not cool with Ospreay so he flips over into a kick to the head but comes up holding the shoulder.

Guevera gets caught in the corner, earning himself a backflip kick to the head. That means the mini Tower of Doom with Sammy German superplexing Strickland, who superplexes Brooks into a powerbomb from Ospreay. Sloppy of course, but what were you expecting? Back up and Brooks and Ospreay exchange some hard kicks until a Stundog Millionaire drops Brooks.

Sammy hurricanranas Ospreay though, earning himself a kick to the floor from Strickland. Brooks dives on both of them so Ospreay busts out a space flying tiger drop for the four way knockdown. Guevera’s shooting star to the floor (looks awesome) takes them all out again, even if almost no one catches him. Back in and Brooks kicks Sammy low, setting up a Downward Spiral into the middle turnbuckle. Ospreay springboards back in but messes up his neck again.

A referee distraction sets up another low blow and Strickland has to come in for the save. Just to be evil, Strickland ties Ospreay in the ropes for the Alberto double stomp to the apron, followed by another stomp for two on Brooks. Sammy sends Strickland outside and curb stomps Brooks, only to have Ospreay roll in with the spinning kick to the back. The Oscutter finally finishes Guevera at 12:33.

Rating: B-. Ospreay is always worth seeing but this felt like a match I’ve seen several times before. Some of the dives were cool and the match is entertaining, but nothing that I’ve going to remember. The lateness of the night didn’t help either as the fans were starting to get tired. Having three straight cruiserweight matches didn’t help either as the show needed to be laid out a bit better in this section.

Post match Ospreay seems to apologize to the crowd for his performance but they throw money anyway.

Sami Callihan/Juice Robinson/Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. vs. David Starr/Brian Cage/???

Juice’s gear is rather odd looking, being described as a create a wrestler where you hit random five times. Starr is rather annoyed at the ring announcer not getting his full host of nicknames. He’s greeted by a GO ACE chant and Tanahashi even serenades him with the air guitar because he’s not just an ace but also a music lover.

Starr BREAKS THE AIR GUITAR before listing off his nicknames: the Cream in Your Coffee, Your Favorite Wrestler’s Favorite Wrestler, the Jewish Cannon, the Physical Embodiment of Charisma, the Most Entertaining Man in Professional Wrestling, the Bernie Sanders of Professional Wrestling, Mr. Americanrana, Davey Wrestling, the 104 Minute Man, the Main Event, I’m Really Good at Twitter, the King of Taunts, the Product, David Starr. I didn’t get him at first but he’s REALLY grown on me over time.

Hang on though as Sami has a mic. He sees a genetically modified freak and a walking chia pet, but no third partner. Sami offers a 3-2 beating…..but MINORU SUZUKI is here as the third man to the pop of the night so far. Suzuki, normally rather stoic, shows some solid charisma in playing to the crowd during his entrance. The match starts fast with Cage and Tanahashi fighting against the barricade, leaving Sami to miss a bat shot on Suzuki.

They head outside as well with Suzuki cranking on Sami’s leg, leaving Starr and Robinson to flip around a bit. Juice snaps off the left hands but gets clotheslined to the floor. Tanahashi is in to replace him but Cage tosses him with a release fall away slam. Since Cage is a freak, he hits a 619 but charges into a boot in the corner. Tanahashi’s slingshot dive drops Cage but Starr is right there with a dive of his own. Sami drops Starr with another dive so Juice goes up (Juice: “JUICE IS GONNA DIVE! GET YOUR CAMERAS OUT!”) for a double clothesline to the floor.

Cage, who makes Ryback look small, hits a BIG running flip dive of his own, leaving Suzuki on his own. The big dive is teased but instead he climbs through the ropes, drops to the floor, and smacks Sami in the face like a good crazy old man should. We actually settle down to a regular match with Starr kneeing Callihan in the face to slow things down. Sami offers a distraction and kicks Starr low, allowing the tag off to Tanahashi. A middle rope flipping senton misses but Juice comes in for a double belly to back suplex.

It’s back to Callihan, who is greeted with a GO AWAY chant. It’s amazing what happens when you’re associated with a company like TNA. Robinson and Callihan splash Starr in the corner as the announcers explain that these teams are pretty random and have almost nothing in common. Juice’s backsplash hits knees but he drives Starr back into the corner to block another tag.

Starr finally gets away for the hot tag to Cage and it’s neckbreakers a go-go. One heck of a release German suplex out of the corner drops Robinson on his head and pain starts to set in. Cage loads him up for a World’s Strongest Slam so Callihan comes off the top for a hurricanrana…..and Cage holds him up there at the same time. A powerbomb/World’s Strongest Slam gets two, which is described as Brian Cage doing Brian Cage things. It’s off to Tanahashi to try his luck and a running forearm puts Cage down.

The Sling Blade gets two with Starr making the save, only to be sent out to the floor. Cage neckbreakers Tanahashi and the double tag brings in Suzuki (not exactly a pop but an acknowledgment that pain is imminent) and Callihan (likely indifference). Sami spits on him and the fans know what is coming. A few kicks to Suzuki’s head just make him stick his tongue out and grab the sleeper. Sami bites his arm to escape so it’s a Fujiwara armbar to make Sami tap at 14:38. Suzuki and Tanahashi never interacted unless it was a brief exchange on the floor.

Rating: C+. It was good and the New Japan guys were a treat, but Starr taking the heat for that long wasn’t the most thrilling thing in the world. You could feel the fans getting tired by this point too as it was approaching midnight local time after what was likely a travel day for almost everyone involved. Entertaining match but I kept waiting on the Tanahashi vs. Suzuki showdown and it never came.

Post match Suzuki goes after everyone’s arm but they calm him down. Instead he wants Tanahashi so the fight is on with a headbutt knocking Tanahashi to the floor. Suzuki grabs a headlock and punches Tanahashi to the back as this was one sided. Not really shocking that a fighter can beat up a wrestler like that.

Golden Lovers vs. Chuck Taylor/???

Chuckle’s original partner was Trent Barretta but a bad arm injury has put him on the shelf. The Lovers come out first and my goodness what a reaction from such a small group of people. Taylor has a three man marching band playing him out for a little flavor. Chuck announces his partner as….THE SWAMP MONSTER, a Cousin Itt lookalike, who is sent to the floor in about two seconds.

Actually the real partner is Freshly Squeezed Orange Cassidy! That would be a slacker, who doesn’t show up and is likely asleep. Dan Berry comes out and gets sent outside as well so Chuck says the real partner is Trent because it was a swerve all along. Trent is here with a huge sling but he starts to take it off until Rocky Romero comes out to tell him no. Chuck: “ROCKY YOU SON OF A B**** DON’T YOU TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME AGAIN! I hate you with every fiber of my being!”

Cue Flip Gordon, a flat Earther who is greeted with an EARTH IS ROUND chant. He’s not here to be Chuck’s partner but rather to ask about getting on All In. Omega is stunned so Chuck says he just talked to the REAL leader of the Bullet Club Cody, who says if Flip wins here, he’s All In. Chuck doesn’t have anyone else in the back so Flip will have to do, meaning ring the bell. Omega and Gordon start things off with a headlock not getting Omega very far.

Instead Flip does his dancing handstand and both Lovers are sent outside. A big flip dive over the top (with Gordon sticking the landing) takes them down again and it’s off to Chuck. Taylor’s really basic (on purpose) offense has Omega in limited trouble and the slow motion slingshot senton gets no cover. Omega slaps on an abdominal stretch and here’s Trent again. Taylor reverses into a stretch of his own as Trent lights up a cigarette. He puts some sunglasses on Taylor and hands him the cigarette before putting it into Flip’s mouth.

Omega uses the odd distraction to hiptoss his way to freedom. An enziguri makes Chuck spit the cigarette out as Trent goes to the back. What in the world was the point of that? I was hoping commentary would explain it but I’ll settle for a tag to Ibushi. Back to back moonsaults get two on Gordon but he hits his reverse fall away slam. The standing shooting star (not so impressive as Ibushi just did one) gets two but the snapdragon puts Gordon down again.

Ibushi’s backflip kick to the head drops Taylor and Gordon, followed by Omega powerbombing Gordon into a German suplex for a cool spot. Gordon is back up to save Taylor from the Golden Trigger and Chuck’s low blow gets two on Ibushi. A high kick drops Taylor and everyone is down. The Golden Shower (seriously) is broken up as Gordon springboards to the top for a superkick to Omega and the 450 gets two on Ibushi. Back to back superkicks rock Gordon and a big running clothesline turns him inside out. The Golden Trigger (double knees to the face) end Gordon at 13:38.

Rating: C+. Just like the previous match, it was good but nothing all that memorable. The idea here was getting to see the Golden Lovers, which is perfectly fine. It was a fine enough main event with little doubt about who was going to win but at least the fans got what they wanted to see. The mystery partner thing was kind of a flop but honestly, what were you hoping to get from this?

Post match Omega wants a hand for Chuck for getting close to pulling off a win, even with the mystery partner. He also praises Flip, who has some wacky theories and has even tried to kill Omega twice. But Flip really thought by coming out here that he would be cheered over the Golden Lovers? Omega: “You really are stupid!” Omega made sure that they would be here tonight and thanks the fans for making it so much fun. He wishes us a great weekend in this beautiful city but Chuck takes the mic.

Taylor asks Trent to come back out here because he wants the match to happen at some point once the injury is healed (Chuck: “In four to six months, or sooner because he’s an idiot.”). Omega gladly agrees and wishes Flip good luck with getting on All In. He thanks the fans for coming out and says goodnight to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I definitely shortchanged this show live as I was just too tired to really enjoy it. There are some issues with the pacing to this show and some of the matches needed to be adjusted to really make it better but what we got was a lot of fun. The surprises on here were a lot of fun (Lawler genuinely shocked me) and seeing the big New Japan names was a great treat. I’d definitely go to this show again as this one was weaker than last year and still a blast. It’s certainly a show more for the live crowd but it’s still more than entertaining enough on its own. Definitely check out the lucha tag if nothing else.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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