IMG Credit: WWE

It’s time for another unique one as we have Money in the Bank split between the WWE Headquarters in Connecticut and down at the Performance Center. Depending on which reports you believe, the ladder match (Is it matches or match?) may be taking place throughout the show, because just having the match as usual is too simple or something I guess. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Jeff Hardy vs. Cesaro

There aren’t a lot of good things going on in WWE at the moment but they are doing an excellent job with making Hardy’s return a big deal. Hardy is a living legend and treating him like one is a very good idea. Above all else (and this will come into play later), if you weren’t watching twelve years ago, you might not know of Hardy’s mega singles run. Bring your fans up to date with that amazing video production team that they had. It can work wonders and it was awesome here.

In case you didn’t get it, of course Hardy wins here as he seems primed for some sort of a run. Cesaro is a perfect choice for a first opponent in nearly two months as he can work with anyone and works a similar style to Sheamus, who is the big prize for Hardy at the moment. Hardy is a heck of a star and Cesaro can make him look good, though I’d love for Cesaro to get one big singles run. I’d think he’s earned it at this point.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bayley(c) vs. Tamina

We’re starting the main card with this one for the sake of getting it out of the way. I like Bayley quite a bit but my goodness she can be dull at times. It also doesn’t help that there is no reason to believe that this is leading to anyone but Sasha Banks in the big blowoff. Then there’s Tamina and egads how much more can I complain about her? For the sake of my blood pressure, we’ll move on from this as fast as possible.

Bayley retains here and there’s no reason for anything else to go down. We’re likely heading for Bayley vs. Banks at Summerslam and the idea of Tamina winning….well my goodness hasn’t there been enough suffering in the world lately? This match could be a disaster and I’m not expecting much more, but hopefully they get in and out quickly without doing something stupid.

R-Truth vs. MVP

This was added to the show on Saturday and I’m really not sure why. With all of the people they’ve been pushing as of late, they pick R-Truth and the new manager? It could be a nice little match, but this makes the main card instead of Hardy’s return to the ring? If nothing else I’m curious to see what R-Truth does with no fans, because he could make something entertaining out of it.

I’ll go with MVP here as he at least has something going on. R-Truth hasn’t been around since WrestleMania and I think we’ve long since proven that he doesn’t need to win anything ever again (outside of another 15 24/7 Titles) to stay over. MVP can get a nice win to show that he still matters, though a video package might be better. He’s a great example of someone who was something a long time ago but WWE needs to refresh us on who he is. It works with Hardy and it would work with MVP, who wins here.

Smackdown World Title: Braun Strowman(c) vs. Bray Wyatt

This one really hasn’t been working for me and I don’t see it going much better once they get in the ring. Strowman just does not feel like a top guy and their segment on the go home show was excruciating. It was Wyatt trying to make it sound like some big deal and Strowman reading from a script. The match feels like a clash of styles, but above all else I don’t care about it very much. Give me a reason to care and it might work better, but “you were in the Wyatt Family” isn’t enough.

I’m not sure what to think here but I’ll take Strowman retaining as the match is against Wyatt instead of the Fiend. I don’t think there’s any secret to the fact that the long term plans is Reigns vs. Fiend, but they’ve made it clear that this is against Wyatt. If nothing else, Strowman needs to retain in his first major defense for the sake of making him not look like he has some staying power, which has always been an issue for him. Strowman retains, but the Fiend is coming.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: New Day(c) vs. Miz/John Morrison vs. Forgotten Sons vs. Lucha House Party

I know I’ve said this before but it’s still the case: New Day has felt like transitional champions for years now and I’m not sure how much of an impact another title reign has. They’ve good for a short term reign until we get to the next big thing, but the next big thing never comes. That seems to be the case again here, though they might at least have someone to drop the titles to here.

The Forgotten Sons seem to be the easy choice here so I’ll go with them, though I could see the Lucha House Party winning the titles and dropping them to the Sons almost immediately. The Sons aren’t my favorite team or even all that interesting, but you have to pick someone at some point so go with what you have available to you and see what happens.

Raw World Title: Drew McIntyre(c) vs. Seth Rollins

McIntyre has been behind the eight ball since he won the title in an empty arena, wrestled in front of an empty arena, and then gets blamed for the show crashing around him when there are about 184 different factors. I don’t think WWE is going to pull the plug on him or anything, but the Brock Lesnar shadow is getting bigger and bigger every single day that things stay bad.

McIntyre retains here though as there is no reason to switch it back to Rollins for the third time in thirteen months. The Monday Night Messiah character could have some legs if it is tweaked a bit (or if he hadn’t lost to Kevin Owens last month) but I can’t imagine him getting the title here. McIntyre should hold onto the title, as it would be completely unfair to blame him for everything that is going south right now.

Women’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match

And then we have the namesake matches, which are going to be complete insanity. I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing yet, but it’s certainly going to be different. If nothing else, having this with six people instead of eight should do a lot of good, though with both matches taking place at once like some wacky game show, how much sense can they really make out of the whole thing?

I’m going with the safe pick of Shayna Baszler winning here, though I can’t shake the feeling of Dana Brooke getting a dark horse win. Baszler and Nia Jax would seem to be the logical picks though as Becky Lynch survived against Baszler and a rematch would make sense. Jax would be the same and her cashing in on a gassed champion would be fine. But yeah, I’ll go with Baszler, who almost has to win the title at some point soon.

Men’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match

The bigger question here isn’t who wins the briefcase but rather who is taking the big plunge that has been teased/flat out promised by Lynch in recent weeks. This really is a wide open field and anyone involved could win the thing. No one has stood out above the rest of the options and that could make for a fascinating match. Now if only they can make it as wacky and entertaining as they seem to be planning.

I’ll take AJ Styles here, with Rey Mysterio as the second possibility. You could go with any of the six options and I don’t remember the last time that was a realistic option. They need someone to fight McIntyre after he gets done with Rollins and Styles is someone who makes as much sense as anyone else. Styles wins here, and I have absolutely no confidence in that choice.

Overall Thoughts

As much as I can’t stand the build to this show, I’m very curious to see what they are going to do with the ladder matches. They’ve got my interest up and while there is a chance for a disappointment, hopefully this is more Boneyard match than anything else. I like the idea of the change on the normal format and that might be what Money in the Bank has been needing for a long time now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

TNA Weekly PPV #100
Date: June 23, 2004
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

It’s a milestone show and something that I was requested to look at. I had gotten on a roll with doing the weekly PPVs but wound up dropping them a good many years ago. Hopefully I can get back to them one day as there is a lot of history there that hasn’t really been touched on. Anyway this is a big show, but something called Impact that debuted earlier in the month might make it a little less important. Let’s get to it.

I’m coming in blind on this one as I never watched the old weekly PPVs so I apologize in advance if I miss anything major. Also, for the sake of the “because TNA” moment, I’ve found multiple dates and numberings for this series, which seems to stem from some special Best Of shows which may or may not have counted. This is what is listed as #100 on Impact Plus so that’s what we’re going with.

We open with a recap, presumably of last week, with several stories taking place at once. Believe it or not, the top story seems to be boss Vince Russo vs. World Champion Jeff Jarrett.

Opening sequence.

Mike welcomes us to the show and runs down the card for the two year anniversary show.

Some legends, minus the expected Dusty Rhodes, are here.

Tag Team Titles: America’s Most Wanted vs. Nosawa/Miyamoto

AMW (Chris Harris/James Storm) are defending and are feuding with the Naturals over some stolen ring gear. Storm (who is hard to recognize without the facial hair) and Miyamoto start things off with some circling as the USA chants are on strong. A shoulder doesn’t get Miyamoto anywhere so they both try dropkicks at the same time. It’s already off to Harris, whose running shoulder works a good bit better. Harris clotheslines him into the corner and Nosawa comes in for the first time. A basement dropkick takes Harris down and a Shining Wizard gives Nosawa two.

We take a break (or at least seem like we do, even though this was a pay per view) and come back with AMW taking right back over on Nosawa, with Storm kicking him in the head. Miyamoto comes back in and the challengers pull Storm outside for a dive from Miyamoto to take over. The stomping continues and Harris’ failed interference doesn’t make things any better.

A running basement dropkick to the back of the head gets two but Storm headscissors his way to freedom. The hot tag brings in Harris to clean house and a powerslam gets two on Nosawa. Everything breaks down and a full nelson slam plants Miyamoto. There’s a powerslam for two on Nosawa and a spear sends Miyamoto outside. The Death Sentence (Trash Compactor) finishes Nosawa to retain at 7:13.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t exactly full of drama as I don’t think anyone labeled Team Insert Name Here was a major threat to win the title, but dang I forgot how good AMW really was. I know this isn’t the most fondly remembered era in wrestling history, but TNA had some great moments and wrestlers. AMW was some of the best they had and they deserved a big spot on a major show.

Post match the Naturals run down and chair AMW from behind. To make it even worse, they put makeup on the two of them and then beat them up even worse.

Kid Kash and Dallas (later known as Lance Archer) aren’t happy with Kash being pulled from an X-Division Title match because of a broken leg. Kash rants about how the NWA isn’t keeping him away from the ring or AJ Styles. He already has protection in Dallas, even though he doesn’t need it. Keep the title shined up for him. This was every “why is Kid Kash a thing?” segment ever.

We get a rhyming video on whoever is challenging AJ Styles tonight. Whoever it is, he sounds a heck of a lot like Jeff Hardy. That’s probably because it’s Jeff Hardy.

We look at Desire being injured a year ago. In her absence, Trinity has become a big star and she’s not ready to let it go, even if Desire is back.

Trinity vs. Desire

Stretcher match and Desire has Sonni Siaki with her. Trinity jumps her at the bell and the beating is on with the focus on Desire’s recently healed back. Desire comes back with a spear and right hands, which the announcers ignore to talk about the rules. A clothesline puts Trinity on the floor and Desire whips her into the barricade. They go to the stretcher for the first time and fall off in a hurry so Desire suplexes her onto the ramp.

Trinity whips her into the apron and stops to rip up a Desire sign for a good heel move. Desire goes into the barricade again but this time Trinity’s ax handle only hits steel. We take another break and come back with nothing changed as Desire loads her onto the stretcher. That’s broken up and they fight into the crowd with Trinity spearing her down and hammering away.

Trinity kicks her in the ribs and Black Shirt Security put Desire on the stretcher. Hold on though as Trinity would rather put her on a table but a legdrop off the balcony only hits wood (and then concrete). Security puts Trinity on the stretcher and roll her out to the ambulance but Big Vito of all people is inside and slams the door in Desire’s face. Vito yells about New York a lot as Desire is loaded into the ambulance to give Trinity the win at 9:52.

Rating: B. That might be a bit high but given what we were seeing in women’s wrestling (for the most part) at this time, this was the hardest hitting women’s brawl that had taken place in years. It felt like they wanted to beat each other up and I wasn’t expecting anything close to this. Heck of a surprise here and I liked it a lot more than I would have thought I was going to.

Vince Russo makes it clear: if Jeff Jarrett uses his guitar tonight, it’s an automatic DQ. Remember that a DQ in TNA means a title change. As for AJ’s opponent (who is going to be Jeff Hardy), no comment.

We get another rhyming video from AJ’s opponent. They do know we’ve heard Jeff Hardy speak before right?

We recap Scott D’Amore vs. Jerry Lynn. D’Amore is the Coach of Team Canada but cheats a lot and Lynn doesn’t like that. Tonight, Lynn is trying to take out the Coach.

Jerry Lynn vs. Scott D’Amore

I do miss the rock version of O Canada. D’Amore, who is an experienced wrestler, makes sure to yell at the Tennessee Titans in the crowd before the bell. After some stalling on the floor, we get the opening bell as the announcers talk about Raven paying tribute to the Sheik later tonight. Never let it be said that they were known for their focus. Lynn punches him down to start and D’Amore is already complaining to the referee.

A cheap shot lets D’Amore choke away as the announcers explain D’Amore’s big weight advantage (he’s not that big). Some armdrags set up Lynn’s cradle piledriver and D’Amore is outside in a hurry. We do another pretend break and come back with the camera on the legends from earlier. Back in and D’Amore grabs a headlock as this is firmly in first gear. That’s broken up and D’Amore gets backdropped so we can get some earthquake jokes.

D’Amore is ready to leave but Lynn makes the save, only to get decked on the way back in. The choking is on, followed by a knee to Lynn’s chest. A jawbreaker cuts off Lynn’s comeback but D’Amore gets sent to the apron, allowing Lynn to hit the slingshot Fameasser. D’Amore is right back up with a top rope clothesline for two, followed by a legdrop for the same.

Lynn gets in a bulldog though and a tornado DDT makes it worse. It’s still too early for the cradle piledriver so Lynn settles for a reverse DDT for two instead. After another non-break break, D’Amore grabs a cobra clutch and a Russian legsweep drops Lynn. D’Amore gets two off a moonsault, meaning more fat jokes. You know, because he’s so fat that he can do a not bad moonsault. D’Amore grabs the hockey stick and takes out the referee, meaning the hockey stick shot to Lynn can get two more. Lynn is right back up with the cradle piledriver (dropping D’Amore on his head) for the pin at 15:22.

Rating: D+. This was a really weird match as the story seemed to be that D’Amore was scared of Lynn to start and then he wrestled a normal match (with cheating of course). The fat stuff didn’t make sense either as while D’Amore was big, he was far from massive and it wasn’t a big deal to see Lynn pick him up. Not a terrible match, but slow and long, without a very clear story.

Post match Team Canada and Chris Sabin/Elix Skipper/the returning Christopher Daniels alternate run-ins for the beatdown/save.

The New York Connection (Glenn Gilbertti (Disco Inferno) and Johnny Swinger), who are dressed as a leprechaun/a hula dancer respectively. They have to wear this gear for another 23 days after losing a humiliation match or they lose their job. David Young (not on the roster) comes in to say people are laughing at him. Gilbertti: “NO KIDDING MAN! I’M A FREAKING LEPRECHAUN!” Young knows Gilbertti is a gambling man so make it double or nothing next week. Gilbertti offers to help Young get his first win in a long time. Swinger ignores the whole thing while checking out his pecs.

We get a THIRD Jeff Hardy video. WE’VE PAID FOR THE SHOW! STOP TEASING STUFF ALREADY! AND STOP ACTING LIKE WE DON’T KNOW IT’S JEFF HARDY!

Mini Pierroth vs. Mascarita Sagrada

Pierroth is a good bit taller. We get some bullfighting with Pierroth’s cape so he challenges Sagrada to a test of strength. Pierroth keeps making fun of the size difference and drops to his knees and “HEY LOOK OVER THERE” actually works, allowing Sagrada to kick him in the ribs. A wristdrag sends Pierroth to the floor and it’s a hurricanrana from the apron, with the camera missing a lot of it. Back in and Pierroth ties the arm in the rope and goes for the mask.

That doesn’t go very far so it’s a basement dropkick to put Sagrada down again. The required break (What is up with that? It’s really distracting on a pay per view.) leads us to Pierroth hammering away in the corner but getting powerbombed off the middle rope. Sagrada gets two off a clothesline so Pierroth take the mask halfway off. Some armdrags have Pierroth down again and a victory roll gives Sagrada the pin at 8:12.

Rating: D+. I’ve never cared for these more often than not and that was the case again here. I know that it’s something big in Mexico but it never has quite translated over in America. The wrestling was fine but it’s the kind of thing that isn’t interesting and just feels like a sideshow more than anything else. Just a thing that happened.

Post match here’s David Young to go after Sagrada to try and break his losing streak. Pierroth’s save doesn’t work so here’s D-Ray 3000 for another failed save attempt. The referee pops up and hits a dropkick on Young so Ray and the minis can get a pin on Young, whose crazy long losing streak continues.

We look at D’Lo Brown returning and cleaning house. He wants the World Title.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. ???

AJ is defending (I still have this version of his theme on the iPod) and WOW! IT’S JEFF HARDY! He gets a heck of a reaction, though the complete lack of a surprise hurts it a lot. Tenay is happy to see Hardy and gets even better when he realizes that it’s Hardy vs. Styles. The fans are way behind Hardy but then get behind AJ a bit as well. After a minute of absorbing chants, AJ grabs a headlock as West is in his element shouting about all this stuff.

They go to the mat for a quick break and it’s an exchange of slaps. AJ gets the better of things and kicks the leg out as we do a non-break break. Jeff sends him to the floor and hits a dive for far less of a reaction than you might expect. Back in and AJ gets sent straight to the apron for a kick to the head. The yet to be named Phenomenal Forearm drops Hardy but he’s right back with a belly to back slam for two. It’s AJ back up again though and he puts Jeff on top, only to get knocked away for the Whisper in the Wind. They’re both down and it’s Kid Kash/Dallas for the double DQ at 6:57.

Rating: C. The match was more hype than substance but what mattered here was having a big deal for the special show. As annoying as the ending is, it’s a good way to go as you don’t want either of them losing here. Jeff signing is a big deal, but you never know what you’re going to get from him, which was especially a problem at this point.

Post match the beatdown is on but Hardy grabs a chair and cleans house. The Swanton hits Dallas and the villains bail. Hardy offers respect to AJ but he’s not interested.

It’s time for the Sheik tribute but Sabu comes in and only finds a Sheik mannequin hanging in effigy, with a “Raven, Nevermore” sign. Mickey Doyle, one of the legends, comes up and tells Sabu to do the right thing.

The announcers preview next week.

The legends (Sarah Lee, Corsica Joe, Larry Zbyszko and Harley Race) are presented.

We recap Ron Killings (better known as R-Truth) vs. Jeff Jarrett for the World Title. Killings is a two time World Champion and has become #1 contender again. Jarrett has used the guitar over and over again so Russo has made a ruling that if the guitar is used, it’s a DQ. That needed a special ruling?

We get a tale of the tape and of course the graphics glitch. Because TNA.

NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Ron Killings

Killings (better known as R-Truth) is challenging. After the Big Match Intros, we’re still not ready to go as we need referee instructions. That’s not enough either as here’s Russo with another referee to check for guitars underneath the ring. There is indeed a guitar (in a cardboard box) but Larry Zbyszko thinks there might be another one under the ring. They find a second guitar and Jarrett is rather ticked off. Fair enough as that’s stealing Jarrett’s property.

Larry and Russo break the guitars (because just taking them to the back is unthinkable) and we finally start with a long lockup. Truth’s headlock into a shoulder lets him dance a bit and the chase heads to the floor. That just lets Jarrett get in some knees to the back, only to have Truth snap off some armdrags (popular move around here). Jarrett bails up the ramp and takes his time getting back in as you can feel the Memphis in this one.

Back in and Truth sends him into six straight top turnbuckles, setting up a legdrop for two. Jarrett dropkicks him to the floor and after the non-break, it’s a chair to Truth’s back, which is perfectly legal for some reason. There’s a whip into the announcers’ table so Jarrett gets tossed into the legends table. Truth takes too long climbing the set though and Jeff pulls him down, setting up a Stroke off the stage and through the table.

That’s good for nine, because a World Champion’s finishing move off the stage and through a table isn’t enough to keep someone down for ten seconds. The Figure Four goes on and Truth’s 3 Live Kru teammates (BG James (Road Dogg) and Konnan are here as Truth turns it over, sending Jarrett straight to the ropes. The rest of the Kru is ejected and Truth kicks him in the face for the double knockdown.

A sidekick lets Truth spin around a bit so Jeff clotheslines him for two more. The super Stroke is countered into a super bulldog for another near fall, followed by a sitout gordbuster to plant Jarrett. Truth mixes it up with a kneeling MuscleBuster (ouch) for another two.

The referee takes a shot to the eye so Jeff gets in a belt shot for the delayed near fall. There’s the full on ref bump and I can’t help but sigh. Jeff pulls out a hidden third guitar but Truth blocks it, even though the shot should make him champion. Well no one ever accused him of being smart. A low blow lets Truth hit the guitar shot on Jeff for the pin and the title at 14:02.

Rating: C. The lack of drama really hurt this one as you knew there wasn’t going to be a fall until you got to the guitar stuff at the end. It fits the story, but it doesn’t exactly make for the most thrilling match on the way there. That and Truth and Jarrett don’t have the most chemistry, which made this a little tougher. Not bad, but it was waiting to get to the screwiness.

Post match the Kru comes in to celebrate but the referee isn’t sure about this. Russo comes out and controversy reigns. Cue Dusty Rhodes to say do the right thing to end the show. Yes, a controversial finish on a Russo show. I’m as shocked as you are.

Overall Rating: D+. Yeah I can see why this has an audience, but it’s a weird mixture of exhausting and not very interesting. The biggest problem is the high amount of Russo booking on the show, as there is either mid-match or post match angle on almost every match. That gets really, really tiring and that was the case here. It’s not a terrible show and I’m sure that it would be better week to week, but there were a lot of moments where I was sitting around either waiting on things to pick up or getting sick of everything having some swerve/surprise. That’s a weird combination and it really didn’t work.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: April 10, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

We’re done with Wrestlemania and onto what seems to be the latest marathon taping session as they have finally come to realize that the current situation calls for such a thing. I’m not sure what to expect but I would say that a lot of self congratulation for Wrestlemania is in store. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Wrestlemania if you need a recap (Night Two)

Here’s Braun Strowman, the new Universal Champion, to open things up. After a highlight package on the title match which was almost longer than the match itself, Strowman talks about how awesome of a night it was but here’s Shinsuke Nakamura to interrupt. Nakamura says knock knock and wants Strowman to say who’s there. He’s knocking on Strowman’s door and wants his Wrestlemania moment. Strowman tells him to shut up or he’ll knock Nakamura out. Cue Cesaro for a distraction though and Nakamura gets in a cheap shot. Nakamura will work as a first challenger.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Kabuki Warriors vs. Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross

Bliss and Cross are defending and it’s not a good sign that I couldn’t remember their first title reign to save my life. Cole talks about Cross being ecstatic to finally win a title, so I guess she has forgotten her win as well. Cross is knocked to the floor to start so Bliss has to fight out of a double suplex. A double elbow drops her again and the champs are in early trouble.

Asuka chokes away in the corner and brings Sane back in as the kicking continues. They go outside with Asuka grabbing a headset and then grabbing Cross’ head, earning herself a crossbody to the floor as we take a break. Back with Sane kicking at Cross for two until Cross grabs a rollup out of the corner. A bulldog allows the tag to Bliss but Insult To Injury misses.

Sane’s Interceptor gets two and it’s a powerbomb into the Asuka Lock on Cross. Bliss makes a save and gets caught with a running Blockbuster to put her outside. The Insane Elbow misses and it’s the hot tag to Bliss. The DDT plants Sane with Asuka pulling her to the floor for the save. That just earns the Warriors a Twisted Bliss to the floor but Sane is ready for the regular version back inside. Sane tags herself in and hits the Purge to finish Sane and retain at 12:29.

Rating: C-. I’m really not sure why I needed to see the rematch less than a week after the title change but this was a little more enjoyable due to the length. It’s still not a great pairing, but it’s not like there is anyone else to challenge the champions. The titles are as unimportant as you can get but at least they have something for these four to do.

Elias is on the same perch he was thrown off of to sing about beating King Corbin two weeks ago. The song does feature some Lion King references, making me wonder why Corbin didn’t say LONG LIVE THE KING before he threw Elias off. Oh and Elias wants to be Mr. Money in the Bank.

We look at Otis defeating Dolph Ziggler at Wrestlemania and getting to kiss Mandy Rose as a prize.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Tucker

Sonya Deville is here with Ziggler. Hold on though as Tucker needs to show Dolph some photos of Mandy and Otis working out, while eating bananas of course. Tucker starts fast by sending Ziggler shoulder first into the post. A suplex gets two and Tucker catapults him into the corner. They head outside with Tucker sending him into the steps and dropping Ziggler onto the announcers’ table. A powerslam gives Tucker two and a crossbody is goof for the same. Tucker misses a charge into the post though and it’s a superkick to give Ziggler the pin at 4:21.

Rating: C. Tucker was working hard here and it showed off with a pretty good match. I’m not exactly needing to see more of Ziggler but that has been the case for years now and WWE doesn’t seem to care. You can probably pencil in a six person tag with Robert Roode joining Ziggler and Deville at Money in the Bank and that’s just fine.

We look at the Smackdown Tag Team Title match in a ladder match at Wrestlemania.

It’s time for the Dirt Sheet. Miz and John Morrison recap Wrestlemania in rapid fashion and we see part of the Boneyard Match. Some of these things are good and some of these things are bad, but what matters here is they are going to perform Hey Hey Ho Ho right now live. Cue the Usos to say they didn’t lose because it was a triple threat ladder match. Miz and Morrison bail to the floor so here’s New Day to interrupt to say something similar. As a result, next week it’s another triple threat for the titles with Jey Usos vs. Big E. vs. Miz.

Lucha House Party vs. Forgotten Sons

Here are your three callups, including Jaxson Ryker on the floor with Steve Cutler and Wesley Black in the ring. Cutler drives Dorado into the corner to start but gets caught with a springboard moonsault. Metalik comes in with a missile dropkick and it’s already back to Dorado to work on the arm.

Cutler fights up and hits Dorado in the back a few times, meaning Ryker can get in some trash talk from the floor. It’s off to Blake for some forearms to the back but the Golden Rewind allows the hot tag to Metalik. Everything breaks down and it’s Metalik with an enziguri to Blake. That doesn’t matter though as it’s the reverse DDT/middle rope stomp combination to finish Metalik at 4:09.

Rating: D+. Of all the people that could be called up, they picked the Forgotten Sons? Is this a case of “we have nothing else for you down there so here’s a promotion”? The team has never done anything for me, even though they have a decent enough gimmick. Maybe it works on Smackdown, because it really didn’t in NXT.

Bliss and Cross are happy with their win but here are Dana Brooke and Carmella to ask for a title shot. The champs huddle and said challenge is accepted.

Here are Sasha Banks and Bayley to brag about the Wrestlemania win after the huge odds. They are the best and the ultimate role models because no one can beat them. This brings out Tamina of all people, because THIS is continuing. The two of them congratulate her on a dominant performance but Tamina cuts them off to say that it took all of them to defeat her at Wrestlemania. Therefore, Tamina wants a title shot. Bayley initially says no, but then has an idea: if Tamina can beat Sasha, she can have the title shot. Banks doesn’t look happy.

Sheamus vs. Cal Bloom

Bloom slugs away to start but Sheamus elbows him in the face. The ten forearms make it worse and it’s the Brogue Kick for the pin at 1:06.

The announcers talk about a series of videos on Jeff Hardy but Sheamus glares at them before it starts up.

The video is part of a WWE Network special on Hardy, with the first part focusing on his career beginnings. We get some clips of the Hardys’ backyard federation with Jeff channeling Sting. The Hardys were awesome and everyone wanted to be like them. Jeff was the one who got the attention because of his flips and they helped make him a star.

Braun Strowman vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Non-title and Cesaro is here with Nakamura. Strowman dodges some kicks to start and kicks him down into the corner without much effort. There’s a big toss across the ring and the beating is on. Strowman takes him outside and even manages to yell at Cesaro before hitting Nakamura again. A charging Nakamura is dropped onto the barricade and we take a break.

Back with Strowman throwing him around even more and hitting the running splash in the corner. The powerslam is broken up so Nakamura hits the running kick to the face. Strowman isn’t having that and he blasts Nakamura with a clothesline. The running shoulders on the floor hit Nakamura and Cesaro but Nakamura hits the running kick to the chest for two. Kinshasa is loaded up but Strowman reverses into the running powerslam for the pin at 7:48.

Rating: C. This was a good and mostly dominant first match for Braun as champion and that’s how it should have been. Nakamura is long past the point of being a threat to the title but he still means a bit. He certainly means more than Cesaro at this point so they made the right choice.

Post match it’s time for the Firefly Fun House, with Bray standing next to a sign saying The History of John Cena and bray Wyatt. We see clips of the firefly Fun House match and Bray says Cena was right: we really can’t see him. That brings Bray to Braun and we see some of their history as well.

Bray talks about giving Braun a home but Braun turned his back on him. He can forgive Braun, but only Ramblin Rabbit agrees. Braun isn’t playing though and wants to fight. That’s cool with Bray, because he wants the title back. Bray brought him into the world and will take Strowman out. Bye! Braun says hang on because he’s ready to let Bray in anytime. Braun: “Bye! See you later!”

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling might not have been the best, but that tends to be the case with this show. What matters is they have figured out how to do regular shows without the crowd, because those previous few shows were terrible. This at least feels like a regular Smackdown, but that’s not exactly the best thing. Not bad for a regular show, but rather disappointing for a post Wrestlemania show.

Results

Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross b. Kabuki Warriors – Purge to Sane

Dolph Ziggler b. Tucker – Superkick

Forgotten Sons b. Lucha House Party – Reverse DDT/middle rope stomp combination to Metalik

Sheamus b. Cal Bloom – Brogue Kick

Braun Strowman b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Running powerslam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XXV
Date: April 5, 2009
Location: Reliant Stadium, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 72,744
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Pre-Show: Unified Tag Team Titles: Primo and Carlito vs. The Miz/John Morrison

Some dropkicks have Miz and Morrison in trouble and everything breaks down. Miz and Carlito head outside, leaving Morrison to roll through a high cross body for two of his own. Back up and Morrison loads up a reverse suplex but Primo catches him in a Backstabber on the way down for the pin and both titles at 8:21.

The opening video has a bunch of people talking about their Wrestlemania moments for the big anniversary show. As usual, this turns into a discussion of their matches tonight and how they all want to steal the show.

We see the crowd for the first time. The ring looks like a drop of water in the middle.

Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls sings America the Beautiful.

CM Punk vs. Mark Henry vs. MVP vs. Finlay vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Christian vs. Kane

Christian breaks that up and stands on the bridged ladder for a Killswitch (new name for the Unprettier) to take Punk down (mostly botched as Christian fell first but it must be terrifying up there). To make things even worse, another ladder is set up on the floor next to the bridged ladder, giving us a three ladder structure.

Video on Axxess and Wrestlemania week in Houston.

Divas Battle Royal

Alicia Fox, Beth Phoenix, Brie Bella, Eve Torres, Jackie Gayda, Jillian Hall, Joy Giovanni, Katie Lea Burchill, Kelly Kelly, Layla, Maria Kanellis, Maryse, Melina, Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Molly Holly, Natalya, Nikki Bella, Rosa Mendes, Santina Marella, Sunny, Terri Runnels, Tiffany, Torrie Wilson, Victoria

Santina introduces herself and the fans chant for Santino. Candice Michelle gives him a sash and crown as Beth is livid. Santina dances to make it even worse.

Chris Jericho vs. Ricky Steamboat/Jimmy Snuka/Roddy Piper

This was originally a gauntlet match but has been changed into an elimination match instead. Mickey Rourke is at ringside. At this point, Steamboat is 56 and last wrestled in 1994, Snuka is 65 and Piper is 12 days away from turning 55 (though considering he was diagnosed with Lymphoma just two years before this, he looks great). Flair comes out with them and oh sweet goodness he is WASTED.

We recap the Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy. Jeff won the Smackdown World Title at Armageddon 2008 and was defending at Royal Rumble 2009 but Matt turned on his brother. It was then revealed that Matt was behind an attack on Jeff in a stairwell back in November, trying to run Jeff and his girlfriend off the road, burning him with fireworks and BURNING HIS HOUSE DOWN AND KILLING HIS DOG. Now in the real world, the attempted murder and arson would probably result in Matt going to jail (especially with a confession on film), but why do that when you can have an extreme rules match?

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Extreme rules. Jeff takes him down to start and hammers away before taking it to the floor for a framed Wrestlemania poster to the face. Poetry in Motion against the barricade has Matt in even more trouble. Back in and a Poetry in Motion misses in the corner, allowing Matt time to knock Jeff out of the air with a chair to the knee. Well at least someone is trying to be violent here.

Randy Orton stares off into the distance.

Intercontinental Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

The story, the build, the execution and the selling during the match made this work so perfectly. It came off like two warriors who gave everything they had for one last shot but only one of them could pull it off. On top of that you had some of the best near falls of all time with the fans eating up every single bit of it as fast as they could have. Outstanding match here and an all time great.

Vickie is wheeled to ringside.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. Big Show vs. John Cena

Show crotches Edge on the top rope and superkicks Cena to break up an AA (Attitude Adjustment instead of FU now) attempt on the champ. The big man misses a running boot though and Edge dropkicks the steps into his knees. Cena adds a dangerous top rope Fameasser to the floor to take Show down again, leaving us with Cena vs. Edge in the ring. Edge gets crotched on the top as Vickie is freaking out on the floor.

Hall of Fame time with Steve Austin as the headliner, giving us a rare glimpse of him in a suit.

Wrestlemania XXVI is in Phoenix.

HHH runs into Vince and Shane on the way to the ring. Nothing is said.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH stands over him as the great conqueror.

The highlight package returns after a one year hiatus.

Now that being said, this show is much better than what a lot of people remember it as. That main event is indeed horrible, but Shawn vs. Undertaker balances it out with room to spare. Unfortunately, people remember Orton vs. HHH and the Kid Rock performance more than they remember the other good stuff on the show.

Ratings Comparison

Finlay vs. Christian vs. CM Punk vs. Mark Henry vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Kane

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Divas Battle Royal

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: F-

Roddy Piper/Jimmy Snuka/Ricky Steamboat vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: C

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: D+

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

John Cena vs. Edge vs. Big Show

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Randy Orton vs. HHH

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C-

I might have been trying to make up for lost ratings.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/01/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-25-oh-dear-oh-dear-indeed/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/03/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxv-the-difference-between-live-and-later/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania XXV
Date: April 5, 2009
Location: Reliant Stadium, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 72,744
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls sings America the Beautiful.

MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian vs. Kofi Kingston vs. CM Punk vs. Finlay vs. Mark Henry vs. Kane

Henry and Kane go up the ladder but everyone bands together to pull them down. The monsters are both sent to the floor and a second regular sized ladder is set up. A bunch of people go up but Kane and Henry shove everyone down. Kane kicks Henry down and loads up the big ladder again. Henry breaks up that attempt but opts to throw the ladder at Finlay instead of climbing.

Finlay dives through the ropes at Kane and Shelton so Christian can dive onto Finlay and Kane to take them out. MVP dives on all three of them and Kofi and Punk hit stereo suicide dives to take out all four guys. Shelton climbs onto the huge ladder and DIVES onto all five guys, looking like he landed on his head at first look. Now HENRY goes up top but Finlay breaks it up to prevent an earthquake.

MVP is up first and pounds on Shelton before being powerbombed over the top rope and down onto a few guys. His head looked to smack against the barricade in a scary spot. Shelton and Finlay are on the ladder now and Finlay is knocked onto the ladder platform. Christian takes Shelton down and pounds away until Shelton takes the platform apart.

Shelton and Christian are both standing on two ladders but Christian shoves Shelton to the floor. Punk however springboards onto the ladders but gets caught upside down in a ladder, which is what Punk did to Christian to win last year. Kane stops Christian and chokeshoves him down to the mat. Punk pops up and kicks Kane down to win his second straight MITB.

Video on WWE taking over Houston for the week.

Miss Wrestlemania: Divas Battle Royal

Melina, Beth Phoenix, Santina Marella, Victoria, Brie Bella, Eve Torres, Gail Kim, Jackie Gayda, Tiffany, Sunny, Rosa Mendes, Nikki Bella, Jillian Hall, Joy Giovanni, Katie Lea Burchill, Kelly Kelly, Layla, Maria, Maryse, Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Molly Holly, Natalya, Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendes, Torrie Wilson

Beth is ticked off, which led to months of stupid fights between the two of them. Santina dances post match.

Rourke is at ringside.

Chris Jericho vs. Roddy Piper/Jimmy Snuka/Ricky Steamboat

Post match Flair comes in but gets beaten down too. Jericho taunts Rourke (a real life former pro boxer) and gets punched out. This somehow took five minutes.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Orton is ready for the main event.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

We recap Shawn vs. Undertaker. Shawn freed himself from JBL at No Way Out and realized he needed a new challenge. What better for Mr. Wrestlemania to do than challenge the Streak? Shawn read passages from the Bible about separating light from darkness to show the differences between the two of them. Do you need more of a buildup than that?

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn comes down from the top of the set all in white, Undertaker comes through the stage in black. Now THAT is an entrance. Feeling out process to start with Shawn circling around Taker and sticking with a few jabs here and there. Michaels pounds away in the corner and hits a hard chop but taker catches an incoming right hand. Taker LAUNCHES him into the corner and nearly out to the floor, only for Shawn to jump off the top and over Undertaker to get away.

Taker pounds way in the corner but has to stop to shake life back into his leg. Snake eyes and the big boot put Shawn down and a legdrop gets two (brother). A chokeslam is countered into the Crossface by Shawn but Taker rolls over onto his side to block a lot of the pressure. After an attempted rollup by Undertaker, Shawn cranks on the hold a bit more, only to have Taker fight up and hit a big side slam for two. Back up and they slug it out with Shawn taking over via a flying forearm.

We head to the floor for a bit but Taker misses the apron legdrop. A baseball slide keeps Taker on the floor but as Shawn tries the moonsault to the floor, Taker moves and Shawn CRASHES onto the concrete. Back inside and Taker sits up and busts out the Taker Dive, only to overrotate and CRASH in a terrifying landing. Shawn thankfully pulled a cameraman in the way to block some of the impact but this scared me to death live.

Shawn tells the referee to count in a kind of mid-match heel turn but Taker makes it back in at nine. Another superkick attempt is ducked and a HUGE chokeslam gets an insanely close two. The fans are getting way into these near falls now. The Tombstone is countered, the superkick is blocked, the chokeslam is escaped and NOW the superkick hits for a very delayed two count. Shawn is up now and looks all ticked off.

Taker nearly collapses from the shock and has a look on his face saying he has no idea where to go now. Shawn spins out of a Tombstone bid into a DDT and both guys are down. Michaels slowly crawls to the top and drops the elbow for no cover. Instead he tunes up the band again and the fans are all over him as a result. The kick hits clean and Shawn covers almost immediately but it only gets two. These kickouts are getting better and better each time.

Now what gets to follow that?

Raw World Title: Edge vs. Big Show vs. John Cena

Cena beats down Edge and now has a free shot at Big Show. Instead he hits the Shuffle on Edge which is actually pretty smart when you think about it. Here comes the AA but Vickie gets on the apron. Cena drops Edge but avoids a spear, sending Edge into Vickie. The distraction lets Cena roll Edge up for two but a collision puts both guys down. Show gets loose and beats up both other guys including hitting a splash to both guys in the same corner.

Wrestlemania 26 is in Phoenix.

Now we get the Hall of Fame class: Terry and Dory Funk, Howard Finkel, Koko B. Ware, the Von Erichs and Ricky Steamboat. Oh and Steve Austin. Yeah him too. He takes off his suit and rides his ATV around ringside for one last moment.

This brings us to the main event of HHH vs. Orton. This was basically a continuation of Orton vs. the McMahons with HHH being the big soldier to fight in the war. Vince and Shane had already been taken out and Orton won the Rumble to get us here. With HHH firmly in his sights (again), Orton went on the attack.

This stipulation made no sense. The whole point of the match was to see HHH beat the stuffing out of Orton once and for all. What possible good could there be to make it a match where HHH had to keep calm and play by the rules? For some reason, this is what we got at Wrestlemania XXV.

HHH(c) vs. Randy Orton

With no referee, Orton goes to the floor and gets a sledgehammer, but as he gets back inside HHH punts him in the head. A shot to the head with the sledgehammer puts Orton down and HHH pounds away. Orton is out cold so HHH hits another Pedigree for good measure and retains the title.

Ratings Comparison

Finlay vs. Christian vs. CM Punk vs. Mark Henry vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Kane

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Divas Battle Royal

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Roddy Piper/Jimmy Snuka/Ricky Steamboat vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: C

Redo: B

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker

Original: A+

Redo: A+

John Cena vs. Edge vs. Big Show

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Randy Orton vs. HHH

Original: F+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: B-

Did I mention this was the first live review I ever did?

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/01/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-25-oh-dear-oh-dear-indeed/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Wrestlemania 25
Date: April, 5 2009
Location: Reliant Stadium, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 72,744
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
America The Beautiful: Some Pussycat Doll

Please keep in mind that this show was partially written live so excuse some of the in the moment emotional reactions.

Since this show literally is happening tonight, I won’t bother with any kind of a recap. We start with your standard history package that somehow never gets old to me at all.

Money In The Bank: CM Punk vs. MVP vs. Kane vs. Christian vs. Finlay vs. Mark Henry vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin

Finlay is breaking out the old school Fit Finlay shoulder pads. I’m digging it. After ten minutes of entrances, we’re underway. As usual I’m not even going to bother trying to keep track of everything that’s going on in this as it’s going to be all over the place like it always is.

Henry and Kane clear the ring almost immediately and the fans chant for Christian. Christian and Shelton take care of them as it’s back and forth already. Kofi may have hurt his knee on a big jump over the ladder and a dropkick. Henry and Kane go up but can’t get anywhere as we’re three minutes in. An army of midcarers takes care of Henry.

Four guys go up the ladder and the big guys take them down again. Finlay clears the ring and dives out on Kane. Christian takes out Kane and Finlay as this is kind of all of the place. What a shock indeed. Henry takes out all three of them to continue the tradition. Punk and Kofi hit stereo suicide dives. Shelton dives off the ladder and more or less lands on his head.

Shelton may have killed himself with that stupid flip. That scared the heck out of me. Also for those interested, I just found out that the tag titles was the preshow match with the Colons winning. It’s your general spotfest so far and that’s what it’s supposed to be. Crowd is fairly hot too.

Horny busts out a stepladder which gets him nowhere at all. Naturally a jumping midget can take out six guys. Finlay brings out the big ladder which is required viewing anymore. Kofi takes a good shot and is down already. He’s taking a big beating and it’s working pretty well.
Kofi is bumping like a crazy man in this match. I’m loving him so far as he’s the highlight of the show. Kane and Henry were dominant early on but here come the smaller people. Henry is back and is setting up a ladder. While he holds it up, Kofi runs up the side of it but falls and is caught in the World’s Strongest Slam in a sweet spot.

MVP comes in to pound of Henry which gets him nowhere again. MVP stops Shelton, Punk stops MVP, Christian stops Punk. Punk and Christian do a cool spot on a ladder that’s balanced from one ladder to the top rope and even though the Unprettier was botched horribly, that’s hard to blame them for.

MVP almost makes it again but Shelton makes an incredible save. He runs up a ladder leaning against the ring then across a ladder between the rope and a ladder in the ring and then up the other ladder that MVP is on to make the last second save. That was incredible and as usual Shelton gets the spot of the match.

The botches in this match are killing it. These matches are really hard to call. Kane, Christian and Punk are fighting on the ladders and all but Punk fall, making him the first two time MITB winner!

Rating: C+. The problem here is the botches. There were a ton this year and the winner was kind of a letdown, and remember Punk is my favorite wrestler. It was a great opener, but not a great match if that makes sense. Too many people and really just a lot of one on ones for about twenty minutes. Not bad.

Axxess recap. Would be funner to be there to watch it.

Kid Rock performs. We don’t care as this is a food break for me. He’s on his third song and the reaction is priceless. There is absolute silence here as the fans simply could not care less. He does two old songs and his new one. My lord this is a waste of time. We don’t get the tag title match but we get this? Waste of time.

He is on his fourth song now. At least All Summer Long is a decent song, but do we need to hear this now? My goodness, he’s doing another one. The divas come out to dance with him. My headache is now at the grab a hatchet level, as this is at ten minutes now. After a big pyro display, it’s time for the battle royal. Holy goodness I’m bored.

25 Diva Battle Royal

Not even going to try to call this as we don’t even get the intros here. This is a freaking joke, thank you Kid Rock. No Trish or Lita means this isn’t a legit battle royal. We don’t even have a list or a face shot of all the divas. It’s a standard battle royal and I literally couldn’t be more bored. The commentators are sucking up to Kid Rock so much that I’m about to mute this. Literally people are being eliminated and it’s the first we hear of them. This is pathetic.

Santino is in drag as this is somehow even dumber every second. Never in my life have I seen a worse Mania match, period. Final there are Melina, Beth and Santino. I knew it. Freaking Santino wins. The commentators apparently don’t realize the massive tattoo on his chest. Has wrestling really fallen this far? The SFAC is going to be proud of this, and that is completely sickening to me.

Rating: N/A. This is the worst Mania match of all time. It was designed to get a stupid comedy guy on the show, we don’t know who was in it, they got no face time, and Kid Rock is the freaking cause of it. I am officially angry about this show. Such a waste of time. I’m not rating it because there isn’t a rating low enough for it.

Chris Jericho vs. Roddy Piper/Jimmy Snuka/Ricky Steamboat

Jericho has to beat all three to win. Massive recap as we’re somehow led to believe that Rourke won’t be at the show. Yeah right. Rourke actually is here. I’m surprised. They kind of get their own intros as their musics play but they stand on the ramp instead of going to the ring. Piper gets a decent pop. He looks decent too. Considering he had cancer less than two years ago, this is amazing. Flair accompanies them.

Piper is wearing a shirt which is likely a good thing. PIPER THROWS A DROPKICK!!! Off to Snuka who does his usual offense that gets him nowhere at all. And there’s the Liontamer to end him. He looked awful out there. Piper is mind blowing here. He looks as good as he did in WCW. Now is that a compliment or not?

As I type that, he’s eliminated via Codebreaker. This is literally 5 minutes in and it’s 1 on 1. I know this didn’t seem like it was five minutes but that’s how slowly these guys are moving. The old guys are getting to throw out some basic offense but it’s just leading to them being eliminated. Steamboat skins the cat in his 50s and of course we don’t see it. HE JUMPS OVER THE TOP ROPE! This is making up for everything.

Ross talks about how Jericho is staying with the Legends like it’s surprising. Steamboat is tearing this up and I’m wanting to stop the review to look at him go. This is incredible stuff considering no one expected a single thing out of him. He gets the cross body for two as Jericho is reeling. And then he walks into the Codebreaker to end it. That was amazing while it lasted.

Steamboat had me freaking out. Flair runs in and gets beaten up too. Of course Rourke gets in the ring and they have an impromptu boxing match. Rourke knocks him down as this is somehow dumber than it was before.

Rating: C+. Considering their ages and level of rust, this was mind blowing. Jericho had to win though. Steamboat had me on the edge of my chair. How he’s not called one of the best ever is beyond me. We’re three matches in and Steamboat has carried this. That’s a very bad sign. Let me make sure I have this straight: four hall of famers can’t beat up Jericho, but a 56 year old guy that boxed almost 15 years ago can beat him up?

In something funny, when they said go into the storm, it thundered at my house.

We get the recap talking about how Matt more or less tried to kill Jeff about three times. Of course he doesn’t prosecute him. He wrestles him. You have to love WWE.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

I miss Matt’s old heel attire. He looked like a legit monster. Naturally they got rid of them and made him an overrated face again. This has happened before but they made it big this time. I don’t think people are interested in this but whatever. Matt takes a shot with a WWE poster. How EXTREME! Matt takes Jeff down but Jeff gets up first. Well of course he does.

Crowd is waking up a tad here which might be exactly what this show needs. Matt has a bit of a gut which surprises me. Poetry in Motion with the assistance of a chair misses and here comes Matt. He takes out Jeff’s knee and just cracks him with the chair for two. Matt grabs a dry-vac from under the ring. Why a dry vac is under there is beyond me but it’s WWE so I’ll just kind of go with it.

Side effect on a chair gets two. Matt is dominating here as he bends Jeff’s back around the post. It’s table time but there’s no D-Von around to get it. What are we going to do??? They slug it out and neither guy goes through it. This is intense but kind of dull at the same time if that makes sense.

Jeff gets a kendo stick to crack away at him and here come the required trashcans. Slingshot dropkick into the can into Matt has him in big trouble. Swanton misses and Jeff is in trouble. Twist of Fate connect and only gets two. Almost zero heat on the kickout either. Matt goes for a Swanton which is blocked. The people of Houston just avoided a huge earthquake.

Matt gets CRACKED over the head with a chair in a sick looking and sounding shot. Jeff sets Matt on a table and then another table on top of that and splashes it and dang if he didn’t almost hit him! Back in the ring it only gets two. This needs to end like now.

The more successful one goes to the floor and pulls out some ladders. Well of course he does. Jeff misses a huge bump by setting up a huge ladder and then climbing up a regular one and jumping over the big one. He crashes down in pain and I’m slightly entertained. Matt does a sick looking Twist of Fate on a chair to close this out.

Rating: C. This wasn’t terrible and the ending was perfect. Matt’s finisher, not Jeff’s mistake ended it. There was no way Jeff could win this and he didn’t. It wasn’t great, but it could have been far worse. Not terrible. I just don’t think they had the intensity they wanted with this and it kind of showed through.

Legends of Mania commercial.

Orton is getting ready.

IC Title: JBL vs. Rey Mysterio

I miss the intros as I heat up my tacos. Mysterio looks like Doink the Clown. How does he manage to come up with a dumber outfit every Mania? Rey looks so ridiculous as apparently he’s the Joker. He’s also wearing bright green suspenders. Holy goodness it’s a 10 second match! WHAT ARE THEY DOING??? Rey hits the 619 and a splash and wins it?

Rating: N/A. This is officially the dumbest Mania of all time. There has to be like 40 minutes each for the last three matches.

JBL’s big announcement is that he quits, getting the pop of the night.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

If this match isn’t a 5 star classic, this is officially the worst Mania of all time, end of argument. Massive recap to start of course. The entrances are of course mind blowingly sweet with Taker coming up out of darkness and Shawn coming down from the ceiling in a white chariot like an angel. Ok that was awesome.

This just feels epic on all levels which is how it’s supposed to feel. And here we go. The fans pop for the bell. Think they’re excited? Sign a few rows back: It’s still real to me! OH YES! Shawn scores a few points with some chops and then runs. Taker blocks a punch and throws Shawn over the top but Shawn catches himself.

HBK fakes a knee injury. Now that’s just brilliant. You know he’s never done that for Wrestlemania before! Basically an extended feeling out process here as neither guy can get an advantage going here. Big back drop by Taker and Shawn is in some trouble. Elbow gets one only. Old School gets a big ovation and Shawn is in trouble.

And so much for that as Taker misses a kick in the corner and Shawn goes for the knee. There go the dueling chants. Sharpshooter is blocked so Shawn uses a reverse figure four and Taker is in little trouble because he’s not going to tap. Taker’s solution to get out of this? Punch Shawn in the face. You can’t beat simplicity at times.

Taker unloads on him in the corner and gets the Snake Eyes and big boot combination. Shawn gets a bad crossface out of nowhere which sees Taker laying on his side. Taker stands up and gets a side slam to break up the hold. Nicely done. Shawn kicks him in the face and Taker glares at him. Forearm puts Taker down and we get a nip up at the same time Taker sits up.

Shawn sets for the elbow from the top but Taker sits up and Shawn is in trouble again. He counters that but walks into Hell’s Gate as he goes for the Figure Four again. A rope is grabbed and we head the to floor. Apron legdrop misses and Shawn avoids trouble. Baseball slide puts Taker down again. Moonsault to the floor misses though and Shawn is in big trouble again.

The momentum is changing every few seconds here and it’s great stuff. Taker hits the ropes and OH MY FREAKING GOODNESS! Taker dove over the ropes but overrotated and slammed his freaking head into the floor! He more or less killed a cameraman and there was a loud cracking sound. Luckily the replay shows that it was just the camera hitting the ground which is a nice break I guess.

Wow that was insane looking though. I was legitimately thinking they were going to have to stop it there. That was as scary as any bump I’ve ever seen. SOMEHOW, and I mean that literally, Taker isn’t dead. Shawn does a semi-heel turn and tries to get the count out win. To be fair though that might be better for Taker’s health at this point.

Taker BARELY makes it back in at nine and a half. I was actually thinking it was over there. There are those dueling chants again. Superkick is caught by a BIG old chokeslam for two as the crowd explodes. Tombstone, superkick, chokeslam. All of those were countered in a row but Shawn gets a BIG superkick for two. Sweet goodness I’d have bet on that one.

Shawn’s ticked off face is great. Taker grabs him by the throat and goes for the Last Ride but Shawn gets a sunset flip. Taker grabs him again and is like boy you’re getting drilled and hits a HUGE Last Ride for TWO. Wow these kickouts are incredible. Taker goes up and misses an elbow as both guys are down again.

Shawn is sent over the top but Skins the Cat. Taker catches him AGAIN in the Tombstone and Shawn is DEAD. Apparently DEAD doesn’t mean three though as Shawn kicks out AGAIN. This is incredible. Taker’s face is like NO FREAKING WAY. Shawn counters another Tombstone attempt with a spinning DDT of all things.

Michaels somehow gets up to the top rope and hits the big elbow but both guys are down again. Sweet Chin Music out of NOWHERE gets two. Well of course it did. With nothing else left from either guy they slug it out from their knees. Shawn chops away but Taker kicks him in the face to put him down.

Tombstone is countered AGAIN and Shawn gets a boot into the jaw of Taker in the corner to buy himself some time. Shawn goes up for a moonsault press but Taker somehow catches him and Tombstones him to death to FINALLY end this. In-freaking-credible. Absolutely amazing stuff and it WINS.
Rating: A+. Wrestlemania has been saved. Future edit: no it hasn’t. Go watch this match right now as it’s the best match I have ever seen.

Draft is coming in 8 days. I’m shaking after watching that. Never before have I been on the edge of my seat for a match.

World Heavyweight Championship: Edge vs. John Cena vs. Big Show

Standard recap leading to Edge and Show coming out first. Cena’s old rap song comes on and an army of John Cenas come out. There must be 80 or so of them. They all do You Can’t See Me and then Cena’s music hits. Pretty cool visual. We get the big match indroduction which I always love. Cena gets a decent pop with boos mixed in.

Edge is champion coming in here. We head into the triple threat formula almost immediately with various people being knocked out for awhile each. That’s fine but it gets rather repetitive. About five minutes pass with nothing but various one on one combinations. That’s not terribly interesting but it’s what we’ve come to expect in these things.

Cena hits his top rope Fameasser off the top rope and down goes Show. Off to Edge vs. Cena as I doubt Show will be in there for awhile. Edgecution gets two. More weak stuff here as Show is in faster than I expected him to be here. Chavo of all people runs out to save Show and takes an FU for his troubles.

Show gets tied up in the ropes and loudly shouts GET ME OUT OF HERE! Cena goes off on Edge as the fans aren’t really liking him. Five Knuckle Shuffle to Edge. Vickie gets up to save Edge but winds up getting speared onto Chavo. Both guys go down and Show is still stuck. Ah there he’s out.

Show goes off on them and manages to chokeslam Edge. FU attempt on Show but he gets out and drills Cena with the punch. Loud THANK YOU BIG SHOW chant from that. Edge gets a running spear through Show through the barricade. Back in the ring Cena counters the spear into the STFU.

Finally Show comes in for the save as this is actually pretty good. Back to Show vs. Edge for awhile as JR runs through Show’s measurements again. Show misses a Vader Bomb and here comes Cena again. The two non-monsters suplex Show in an always cool looking spot.

Everyone trades some more finishers and Edge gets a spear for two on Cena. Here’s your HOLY FREAKING CRAP spot of the match as Edge jumps on Show’s back with a sleeper so Cena is like screw it and picks up BOTH OF THEM AT ONCE IN THE FU! Edge falls off and Show takes the FU. Cena hits one on Edge onto Show for the pin and the title. Freaking sweetness.

Rating: B-. This was better than people gave it credit for. This wasn’t supposed to be the great and mighty be all end all title match and it wasn’t. It was a way to get the title onto Cena and make him look strong. It wasn’t bad and it accomplished its purpose. I liked it, but man this would have been better if it was three matches earlier.

WM 26 is in Phoenix.

HOF Ceremony. Austin drives his ATV around and has a mini beer bash to kill time. I have no problem with this at all. It was needed to give the fans a breather and it’s not like Austin doesn’t deserve it.

Attendance is announced, but not called a record as we kill off even more time.

Massive recap video beforehand which kills the time so dead it’s scary. They’ve hated each other since Evolution, Orton is nuts and kissed Stephanie, HHH snapped, Orton faked being insane, HHH can’t disqualified or he loses the title.
WWE Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH

In the back, HHH passes both McMahons. Orton’s entrance literally goes on nearly two and a half minutes. There’s no special ordeal or anything. He’s just walking really, really slowly. HHH’s intro is long but not as long. We get BMI. Orton gets an RKO inside of two minutes but goes for the Punt and misses. HHH is up in about a minute and hits the Pedigree. What in the world is going on here?

And remember, HHH can’t get disqualified in a match based on hate. This is going so slow that it’s painful. They’re moving like molasses out there for crying out loud (as I quote my inner Hayden Panitierre from Remember the Titans). HHH has a bad shoulder now. Orton takes over for a good while as he works on the arm.

I like the pace of this match as it’s very slow but more violent. That’s what this is supposed to be. You’re supposed to have a guy that’s completely insane and a guy that’s desperate to defend his wife’s honor. Would you expect guys to be using Greco-Roman style here?

I like the brawling stuff. Wait for it…wait for it…YES! We get an Orton chinlock! All is right with the world! This is a more physical style and while it’s not great, it’s also not awful. This match isn’t really building to anything though. Ok I’m thinking I’m changing my mind on the pacing thing. This needs to be FAR more brutal given the story backing it up. It’s similar to Kane/Undertaker at Mania 14 where they were supposed to be in a war and just weren’t at all.

Orton takes him down with the backbreaker for two. I love that dropkick that Orton has. HHH FINALLY sends Orton to the floor to break the very long stretch of momentum he’s had. On the floor HHH keeps teasing various weapons shots but won’t do them because of the title thing. He sets for the Pedigree but Orton backdrops him through the announce table.

Elevated DDT hits on the floor and HHH is more or less done. He beats the count of course and Orton mixes up his offense with various types of stomps. Orton catches HHH coming of the top rope (WTF???) with a sick dropkick. Ref goes down and Orton hits an RKO. He gets the sledge but gets kicked leading to him getting punched beyond all reasonable measure. Pedigree and Orton is dead. Fireworks and we’re out. Well, that sums up the whole show.

Rating: F+. The ending was just a total letdown. Forget a good pace. This was a complete waste of time and had nothing good to offer at all. The ending is HHH’s revenge for his recent losses. Terrible way to close it out, absolutely terrible. Never in my life have I seen someone with a bigger ego. There is absolutely no reason whatsoever here for HHH to go over. Not a single one.

Orton was pushed to the moon recently and he gets nothing for it? Likely he’ll get the belt at Backlash or something, but this was a waste. Any credibility he has is killed. That was awful and I don’t want to see even the letter that comes after G for a long, long time. Horrible.

It’s the same issue that many recent Mania main events have had: it’s not a bad match, but there’s nothing mind blowing. It’s like they’re in safe mode or something. Orton catches HHH coming of the top rope (WTF???) with a sick dropkick. Ref goes down and Orton hits an RKO. He gets the sledge but gets kicked leading to him getting punched beyond all reasonable measure. Pedigree and Orton is dead. Fireworks and we’re out. Well, that sums up the whole show.
Overall Rating: D. This show had one good match in it. That’s all. You have a decent opener so that was ok. Then the Women’s match was absolutely a disgrace. Never in my life have I seen a dumber thing. Seriously, we get a ten minute concert of all things and then you don’t even see the older divas, in a match for NOSTALGIA get introduced? My goodness that’s a joke. Plain and simple, that was pathetic.

That was to get a weak comedy act in when it could have been something very cool. Austin could come out at the end but not come out to beat up Jericho? That would have saved that whole thing. Hardys match was just ok. Not great but could have been worse by far. IC Title was to get to JBL quitting so I don’t even call that a match. Then we have the one match: Taker and HBK was an absolute classic, hands down.

Maybe not the best ever as Steamboat and Savage was almost too incredible to ever be passed, but this was by far the best match in many years. After that, the three way was ok and the main event was just a waste.

Overall, watch Taker and HBK and if you’re out of other good matches to watch, check out MITB and the Triple Threat. Other than that, avoid this show. Is it the worst Mania of all time? It’s not due to HBK/Taker, but that’s literally the only thing keeping it ahead of 2 and 9. Terrible show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 13, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, HHH

Welcome to what might be the norm for a long time to come as we’re at the Performance Center with no fans in attendance. That’s going to be interesting as we’re building towards Wrestlemania at the same time, even though there’s a very good chance the show won’t be happening. Let’s get to it.

HHH welcomes us to the show and explains that we’re in the Performance Center. The wrestlers trained here and tonight they’re here to perform.

Opening sequence.

Here are Sasha Banks and Bayley to open things up and they tell Cole and HHH (the first of several guest commentators tonight) to quiet down and cut the music. They want to know where Paige is but Cole says she has had travel issues. HHH: “I don’t know about you guys but I’m sick of his excuses.” Cue Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross to challenge them to a match, as it might get the Kabuki Warriors’ attention. Bayley says get a referee out here.

Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks

Cross kicks Bayley in the corner to start and it’s off to Bliss for the knees to the ribs. Everything breaks down in a hurry with Banks having to pull Bayley away from Twisted Bliss. A baseball slide sends Bayley into the announcers’ table and we take a break. Back with Bliss in trouble as Cole explains what a promo class is. Bliss gets two off a rollup but gets suplexed into a chinlock.

As HHH asks the producer to feed him pop culture references so he can be like Mauro Ranallo, Bliss powers up but gets clotheslined right back down. Bayley gets knocked off the apron and the missed knees in the corner allow the hot tag to Cross. House is cleaned, with HHH calling it “Vintage Cross, eh Cole?”. Everything breaks down again and here’s Asuka to send Bliss into the steps. The distraction lets Banks hit the Backstabber into the Bank Statement for the win at 10:59.

Rating: C-. Aside from getting used to how completely bizarre this whole setup is, the match was the usual not great match between these teams, but that almost goes without saying. It feels like a match I’ve seen half a dozen times now in one form or another and that doesn’t exactly get me interested in seeing it again.

Asuka dances on the ramp in celebration.

Here’s Roman Reigns for a sitdown interview. Reigns says it’s weird to not have people here when wrestling is built on a reaction. We quickly move to the Goldberg match, with Reigns asking if he can main event a small town in front of 5000 people, why shouldn’t he be in the biggest match of the year? Goldberg has said that he is going to bulldoze Reigns, but since Goldberg went to Georgia, he might not be smart enough to operate a bulldozer (HA!). Reigns calls Goldberg a part timer while Reigns has been bred to do this his entire life. At Wrestlemania, Reigns is setting this place right.

Sami Zayn, Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura interrupt an interview to say it’s time to celebrate.

The real interview is with Jeff Hardy but King Corbin interrupts to ask what Hardy has in store for tonight. Maybe he can walk a straight line, recite the alphabet backwards or reach out his finger and touch his nose. As it turns out, they’re fighting tonight, which Corbin somehow didn’t know. Hardy leaves so here’s Elias with a song, but Corbin walks off.

We look at Daniel Bryan beating Drew Gulak at Elimination Chamber.

Bryan comes up to Gulak in the back and says his neck is still sore from Elimination Chamber. If Gulak is still willing to teach about Bryan’s weaknesses, he’s willing to learn. Zayn and company come up to laugh a lot and it’s Bryan vs. Cesaro tonight.

From Elimination Chamber (only clips are shown but here’s the full version).

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. New Day vs. Lucha House Party vs. Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler vs. Heavy Machinery vs. John Morrison/The Miz

Miz and Morrison are defending and it’s Gran Metalik/Lince Dorado for the House Party. New Day (with white paint by numbers gear) is in at #1 and the Usos are in at #2. Some quick trash talk sets up the fight with Kofi dropkicking Jimmy, only to get punched down by Jey. Kofi slips off a springboard and falls onto Jey for two but goes up again anyway. This time Big E. has to break up a double superplex and it’s a standoff until Lucha House Party in at #3 (after about three and a half minutes instead of the announced five).

The Luchas pick up the pace, including the Golden Rewind and the missile dropkick into three straight moonsaults for two on Jimmy. Big E. throws Dorado and Metalik over the top for back to back crashes, followed by launching Kofi onto both of them. Back in and Kofi jumps over Big E. but misses a double elbow, leaving Big E. to go outside. Dorado tries a springboard onto the Chamber wall but slips, with his foot going through the chain.

Thankfully he doesn’t break his leg and is fine enough to climb on top of a pod. Kofi follows him for the slugout with Metalik joining him to knock Kofi down. The Luchas hit big flip dives and Miz and Morrison are in at #4 (as the time continues to be WAY off). Dorado gets double spinebustered down and Morrison’s standing shooting star press gets two, with Metalik making the save. Miz and Morrison tie Metalik in the Tree of Woe and kick away, followed by a double DDT for two on Jimmy.

Jey gets caught in a neckbreaker/springboard double stomp combination for two more, followed by a spinning Razor’s Edge slam for the same on Dorado. Metalik goes on top of a pod and snaps off a great looking hurricanrana to Morrison for another near fall. Kofi is back in with the Boom Drop to Miz but Trouble in Paradise misses. That means the spinebuster/Flying Chuck combination for two more but Big E. is back up for a powerbomb/top rope knee to the chest combination for two on Miz.

Heavy Machinery is in at #5 and starts wrecking things before stopping cold in a weird moment (someone might have missed a cue). Big E. gets crushed by Tucker and Otis and the Caterpillar gets two….as Dorado is hanging from the top of the Chamber. He pulls himself up for a shooting star onto everyone but Heavy Machinery for the spot of the night. The Compactor finishes Metalik at 17:14 and it’s Ziggler and Roode in at #6 to complete the field.

Miz and Morrison help them beat down Heavy Machinery and the fans start cheering for Otis again. Tucker fights back so Otis goes after Dolph, sending him up to the top of a pod. That means Tucker follows him up and throws him onto Otis, who drops him throat first onto the top rope. Tucker flip dives onto New Day and the Usos, leaving Roode and Ziggler to jump Otis.

The fans are glad to see them leave and it’s down to New Day, the Usos and Miz/Morrison. The champs get stared down by all four of them and the beatdown is on in a hurry. Miz and Morrison are sent over the top and it’s a superkick to Big E., followed by a pop up Samoan drop for two on Kofi. Big E. comes back to clean house so Kofi can go on top of the pod, only to miss a high crossbody. Miz and Morrison come back in to steal the pin at 29:04, leaving us with the Usos vs. the champs. Double superkicks give the Usos two but only one Superfly Splash connects, with the other hitting knees.

That means a double near fall as they thankfully didn’t manage to screw up the Elimination Chamber as well. Miz sends the Usos into each other and hits the Skull Crushing Finale for two on Jimmy. The Figure Four goes on and Morrison takes care of Jey, setting up Starship Pain at the same time. Jey breaks up the cover with a rollup for his own two but it’s a Miz rolling Jey up with feet on the ropes and Morrison grabbing the legs (totally legal) to retain at 32:53.

Rating: B. This was a weird match as the fans were into the big spots (which were awesome) and they REALLY cared about Otis vs. Dolph but the crowd just gave up after that part of the match was over. It’s a strange situation to have the titles mean almost nothing by comparison to the story but I get why they booked it the way they do. Now they have two stories in this division, though the fans don’t care whatsoever about one of them. It was a good match, but the build was so lame that it isn’t likely to leave much of an impact. Heavy Machinery vs. Roode/Ziggler at Wrestlemania should be awesome though, if it’s done right.

Here are Miz and John Morrison in the ring to brag about their title win. They ask if anyone thinks they aren’t the greatest team ever, but they get into a bit of a disagreement about whose movie was better. No one comes out to interrupt so they hit their singing chant.

Since we’re shorthanded, HHH is running the camera.

We look at the announcement on Backstage of Rob Gronkowski possibly signing with WWE.

Mojo Rawley joins us and confirms that Gronkowski will be signing, but hasn’t officially done so. Either way, Gronkowski will be in the building next week. Mojo demands that people get hyped.

Daniel Bryan vs. Cesaro

Sami is on commentary and Nakamura is at ringside. Bryan starts kicking away in the corner but Cesaro uppercuts away to get himself out of trouble. We take an early break and come back with Bryan fighting out of a chinlock but getting thrown down for his efforts. Bryan fights back with the moonsault out of the corner into the running clothesline. The Crossface goes on but Bryan reverses into a rollup for the pin at 6:29. Not enough shown to rate but it felt like a tease for something else later.

Post match the beatdown is on, with Gulak not being able to make a save. The numbers game leaves Gulak laying but Bryan makes the real save with a suicide dive to send the villains running.

HHH helps Cole by coloring in his facial hair.

King Corbin vs. Jeff Hardy

Elias is on commentary. Corbin jumps Hardy during the entrances and takes it outside before the bell rings. We officially get going with Jeff fighting back and hitting the basement dropkick into the twisting Stunner but Corbin shoves him away, likely due to Hardy shouting TWISTO. HHH: “Corbin must have hit him pretty hard because he was trying to fire this crowd up.” Elias gets up with his guitar, allowing Hardy to hit the Twist of Fury (Twist of Fate into a swinging neckbreaker. HHH: “Whatamaneuver!”) into the Swanton for the pin at 2:21.

HHH talks about how WWE has earned the right to say THEN NOW AND FOREVER. Ok then.

Here’s John Cena for the big interview with Cole. Cena says he can’t wait to get back to the fans before moving on to Bray Wyatt. Cole brings up the Wrestlemania XXX match and Bray saying that it led to his downward spiral and the birth of the Fiend. Cena is used to being blamed for things and it has been a long list of people with potential. That’s a dangerous thing because it can get you a long way but it can also make you believe your own hype.

Six years ago, Wyatt lost and got lazy but blamed Cena instead. Cena never gives up and some people say it’s because he wins a lot. That’s true, but what about all of his big losses to Miz, Rob Van Dam, CM Punk, The Rock, Brock Lesnar and others? It’s because Cena always keeps going and rising up again without blaming everyone else. So how does he respond to Wyatt? Give him a chance and he’ll give the Fiend an Attitude Adjustment.

After we look back to two weeks ago with the start of Cena’s promo about not wrestling at Wrestlemania, Cena says that he’s facing Bray because he wants to invest in the future. People like Drew McIntyre, Tommaso Ciampa, Matt Riddle and Velveteen Dream deserve the chance instead of giving Bray his fifth or sixth chance. Wyatt pops up in an empty seat and says Cena can say this while having everything. A lot of people want to imagine what it’s like to be Cena for one day.

In reality, Cena is the sick one because no one believes that it’s about the future. Cena will smash and bury everyone as long as he gets the spotlight. He craves it like an addict and even fiends for it. Six years ago, Cena took something from Bray and he’s thought about it a lot since. He wanted to crush his brain for five seconds of peace from the voices but then he started listening. Those voices became a fun house and he was put back together as the Fiend. At Wrestlemania, it’s going to be a slaughter. Let him in.

This was very good stuff as the silence made Bray’s words a bit creepier. I love that they’ve taken something that seems so disconnected and turned it into a big story for Wrestlemania. I’m not sure if the Cena match was always the catalyst for the Fiend stuff or if they made this up at the last minute, but it ties in logically and that’s all you can ask for in a story.

Overall Rating: C-. That ending promo saved this, but it’s really hard to treat this like a regular show. They had a VERY limited crew tonight (Raw is going to be fascinating, likely in all the wrong ways) and made the most of it. Throwing in the Chamber match was fine, though I wouldn’t have minded them trimming a bit more to give Bryan vs. Cesaro extra time. It’s not a traditional show but with almost nothing else on in the sports world, having something is better than nothing.

Results

Bayley/Sasha Banks b. Nikki Cross/Alexa Bliss – Bank Statement to Cross

Jeff Hardy b. King Corbin – Swanton

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2009
Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Tazz

ECW Title: Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Hardy walks into a belly to belly suplex from Jack for two though and both guys are down. A DDT on the arm gets two for the champion but Matt blocks a belly to back superplex. Matt hits a decent looking moonsault for two and the fans are getting into these kickouts. The Twist is countered and Jack sends Matt shoulder and possibly head first into the post. The Swagger Bomb retains the title.

Rating: B-. Better match than I was expecting here with both guys looking good out there. Matt was getting close to being something decent as a singles guy and this was his way off ECW and onto Smackdown. Swagger would go on to win a world title and shock the world in the process before falling through the floor soon after. Solid opener here.

Orton arrives and gets glared at.

Melina is challenging and Beth has Santino with her here. Beth shoves her around to start before easily breaking out of a headlock. A LOUD Santino chant starts up as Beth throws Melina around. Melina comes back with a shot to the head but gets shoved down immediately again. The challenger hooks an armbar of all things but Beth easily stands up while Melina stands on her shoulder.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

We head back inside again with Edge in full control including a spear in the corner. Jeff grabs a quick two off a sunset flip but gets clotheslined right back down. Off to a body vice by Edge to slow things down a bit. Jeff fights up and hits a mule kick before going up top, only to jump into a dropkick from Edge for two. Now Edge goes to get two chairs but Jeff spears him down off the apron before it can be brought in.

Rumble by the numbers which is roughly the same as the previous year.

Royal Rumble

Punk pulls Regal out and brags about it without getting thrown out. R-Truth is #24 and nothing happens. Rob Van Dam makes a one night only return at #25 after not having been seen in the WWE in about a year and a half. That at least wakes the crowd up but there are too many people in there for his style of stuff to work. He loads up the Five Star but Truth is too close so he has to bail out in mid air.

Jericho tries to put a sleeper on Show but it gets about as far as you would expect. Taker throws Punk to the apron as Show dumps Truth. Punk fires off some kicks and hangs on three times so Show finally knocks him out cold and out to the floor. Show knocks out Knox and Mysterio as Horny gets in for no apparent reason. Finlay tries to save him and gets dumped for his efforts at good parenting.

Ratings Comparison

Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Original: B

Redo: B-

Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Original: C-

Redo: D+

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: C

Redo: C-

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: C-

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/28/royal-rumble-count-up-2009-the-voices-tell-me-no-one-but-orton-has-a-chance/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also -available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author- page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2009
Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Matt Striker, Todd Grisham

There are really no differences at all between this and what you see today other than a few face and heel changes. Everyone is here for the most part other than Christian I think. Yeah there’s just not much that’s changed since then other than DX reuniting. We have five matches tonight, one of which is the new Smackdown Champion Jeff Hardy in his first title defense against Edge, although someone has been trying to get him lately.

Also we have Cena defending against JBL in the token title match of the year. Other than that it’s just the Rumble which more or less was the most predictable match in history as all of one person was mentioned at all in the buildup to it. That being said, let’s get to it.

The opening video is the standard thing of all the Rumble winners and all of the logos but it’s cut off by Orton’s music and clips of him being a bastard to the insanely hot Stephanie. Vince gets kicked in the head to stun the crowd. Yeah, they’re not making it obvious at all who was going to win here.

The slow motion replay of the kick shows that it’s INSANE. There’s no pyro for the opening as it’s all serious and stuff. In other words, the fans get cheated to a special part of the show for Vince. Oh never mind there’s the pyro. Still kind of stupid though.

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Jack Swagger

Jack was the undefeated rookie here, having won the title two and a half weeks ago. This is the mostly pointless rematch. Matt gets a great pop and I wonder why he’s never been pushed harder than he has been yet. It’s a shame that Swagger is being depushed, but to be fair tonight for the Little People Court Raw he had a good match with Cena so maybe the push is back. He has no pyro yet so that sucks. We even get the big match intros here.

Since it’s 2009, Swagger is a cowardly heel at the beginning. Hardy brawls for the most part as Striker points out that he can’t out wrestle him so why try? That’s a great point at least. We get a replay of a great right hand from Matt. That was sweet. Hardy is doing really well so you know how it’s going to end in case it wasn’t clear yet. Swagger works on the arm which is the one he uses for the Twist of Fate. I know because Striker told me.

See why he’s the best in the world today? Swagger is working the shoulder really hard here and uses some unique stuff, including a boot to the shoulder. That’s something I’ve seen a few times but rarely enough that it’s effective. I’m not sure if I like or dislike the big 2 signs in the front row for counts. They always disappear after the first match so I’m guessing someone takes it from them or they get tired of it.

Striker goes way too insane by saying who the last North Carolinian to win a world title in Detroit (Steamboat in 87). That’s saying a lot. This is a good match with a lot of close calls. They’re getting some time too so that helps a lot. Hardy goes into the post as it was already hurt. Swagger hits the powerbomb for the pin to retain and let us hear his awesome music. Hardy sits on the steps with his head in his hands. Remember that for later.

Rating: B. I really liked this. It was a decent length of about ten minutes and had a ton of close calls and near falls. The arm stuff was good and it played into the ending to give it some psychology. That gives it most of what makes a great match so this is easily solid for an opener.

Orton is here and no one is talking to him. They’re making this seem like the big deal that it’s supposed to be.

Raw Women’s Title: Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Melina is gyrating like there’s no tomorrow and it’s working very well. Beth is with Santino here but it’s getting close to the end. Santina would be debuting soon enough to suck the life out of everything again. Beth is just freaking gorgeous. I love that backflip she does to get into the ring. Santino gets a massive chant, proving that no one cares about the women and care about comedy.

Thank you Vince for crippling wrestling and making the comedy more important. Beth very clearly calls a spot to Melina and then whips her in. Beth shows off her power by lifting Melina up with one arm. That’s just freaking scary. Beth’s thong is sticking out which is of course awesome. She gets a leg lock on Melina that’s in so deep that her foot is touching her head. That can’t feel good. Beth actually pulls the leg back to ram it into her head. FREAKING OW MAN!

They botch the heck out of something as Melina is trying to come back. Melina hits an INSANE move where she spins around Beth’s side to get the rollup for the title. That was awesome looking.

Rating: C-. There were far too many botches in there but the submission thing and the ending were both cool. It was your standard Diva match so that’s not saying a lot. Melina’s selling of her back was great here though and it helped the match a lot. Not bad, but still far from great due to the sloppiness. They had a submission match soon after this.

We recap the JBL vs. Cena feud, which is mainly about the JBL and HBK feud over the money or whatever. It was stupid and one of those “real” angles that never work for me. It’s like saying Shawn makes no money from wrestling or anything like that which is just ridiculous. Being conservative, let’s say Shawn makes a quarter million a year. That’s FAR more than enough to live a decent life, but he needs to be sold to JBL to make ends meet?

Shawn more or less lays down for JBL to get the pin. The problem that plagued this at the end was that it ended way too fast. It should have been at Mania instead of No Way Out. To be fair though, that wound up being the wrong choice as Shawn and JBL did what they should have done at Mania.

We see JBL and Shawn in the back and JBL says that if he wins tonight, Shawn is a free man and paid in full and can be in the Rumble. JBL leaves and Shawn looks in a mirror for awhile and then turns around to have Taker staring down at him. He says that sometimes you have to go through a lot to get to Heaven. Yeah they did the right thing.

Ad for Mania.

Raw World Title: JBL vs. John Cena

Cena was kind of casually mentioned in the package. Until the Taker cameo, I would have believed a title change here. The crowd is split on Cena as always. I would have actually believed them going with JBL vs. Shawn, but Taker switched me to reality. The idea here is that Cena is off his game because he has to keep his eye on Shawn. For instance, they’re on the floor and Cena ducks a clothesline but Shawn is in front of him and Cena gets ready to duck the superkick and JBL gets a shot in.

Never mind that the kick would have cost JBL the match but whatever. JBL had lost a bunch of weight at this point and actually looked like he was in very good shape. He lost probably 40 or 50 pounds and actually had a stomach. Shawn is more or less stoic on the floor. There’s a Ram Jam sign in the crowd, which is the finisher of the main character in The Wrestler.

We cut to a shot of Shawn about once every 30 seconds as Cena is more or less a pawn in this, which is ok I guess as this was just another title match for him. Cena has the STFU but due to Shawn standing there he gets nervous and JBL can get out. The Clothesline hits but it just gets two. There goes the referee and we have a bad looking double clothesline spot. Oddly enough we can see the ECW announce table over Shawn’s shoulder and there’s no Todd Grisham. That’s most odd.

Shawn gets in the ring and starts tuning up the band. He kicks Cena and JBL begins his second world title reign. Yeah I don’t buy that either. Oh of course he kicks JBL. Ok he kicks Cena too. He lays JBL on top of Cena as Cole says he doesn’t get it. That might be because Cole is freaking stupid. Yeah it must be. Shawn leaves and shakes his head as Cole tries to figure out the complexity of this.

Have fun Mikey boy as it doesn’t exist. Another referee comes out and we get two. Both guys are out as Cena kicks out so it looks like he’s spooning JBL. DANG that first referee has been out for a long time. He got ran into not freaking shot. Cena gets an easy FU for the pin. Oddly enough it has no name here and was called his move by Lawler in the replay.

Rating: C. Usual stuff from these two with the focus on JBL and Shawn like it should have been. That’s ok here though as it set up the big blowoff with them next month. Like I said Cena was more or less a pawn here and that’s all he should have been. This got JBL and Shawn much further along and it worked well. The match wasn’t that good but it rarely was with these two so what are you going to do.

Buy Legends of Wrestlemania and mess with history.

We recap Edge vs. Hardy which was the result of the Stairwell “Atrocity”. Basically, it seemed like someone wanted to hurt Jeff. There was that, plus him and his girlfriend being run off the road, and him having his face burned by pyro. I went to a house show a few weeks after that and he didn’t appear because of it. I’ve never seen so many kids look so sad. Anyway, Edge denied everything as he was the obvious most likely suspect. This is Jeff’s first title defense.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Wow. Back in 2000 or 2001 who would have thought that would be realistic? Jeff is WAY over. The celebration for him winning the title was absolutely perfect. My goodness I want to freaking shoot Vickie. Oh she’s Edge’s wife at the moment. It’s no DQ now also. Edge is flanked by Chavo. Edge gets speared as the bell rings, which is stupid as he didn’t need to since there’s no DQ. The WE WANT CHRISTIAN chant starts in about 10 seconds.

Christian would debut again in 16 days and he was already done with TNA and had made it known that he was coming back to WWE. You know the more I watch these shows, the more spots I see called by guys. I wonder if that’s just because I’ve seen a lot or if it’s because it’s becoming more of an issue with these young guys. After Jeff dominates for a bit, Chavo’s interference gives Edge the advantage.

Now we get some stupid hockey jokes after Edge slams his head into the table three times. Geez there’s another called spot. And now it’s weapons time as Edge brings in a chair which doesn’t work. While both are on the apron, Jeff hits a Twist of Fate which pretty much sucked. And there’s the ladder because Jeff is the Sabu of the WWE. Chavo makes a save but gets thrown off and jumped on. Jeff jumps off onto Edge.

I use the term jump loosely as he more or less falls and the splash turns into a headbutt. It looked ok but sloppy. Passable at least. This is the referee with the hitch in his count which is so annoying. Edge counters the Twist of Fate into a DDT which impresses JR. Why? It’s not like that move has never been countered before. That’s why it never worked as a big time move. Think of the leg drop or the Sharpshooter or the Stunner in the earlier days of it or the tombstone.

When one of those connected, it was OVER. Jeff and Edge never had one of those, which is what makes them look weak. Vickie comes out and breaks up the pin off the Swanton. Here’s Matt with a chair and you can feel it coming. The crowd just goes silent over the chair shot and the look from Matt is GREAT.

This was an awesome moment with Edge looking back and forth with an awesome what the heck just happened look on his face. The complete lack of commentary here helps a lot. Matt walks away stoically. This would lead to their two match series that sucked because they didn’t go anywhere near as insane as they could have.

Rating: B-. Not bad but not great here. They had their standard good match that went about 20 minutes. That’s all you need really at the end of the day. The real story here was of course Matt vs. Jeff which is fine as it was a great story that the matches couldn’t live up to. They went fine though here and that’s fine.

Ad for No Way Out, which is now just called Elimination Chamber.

Orton says he’s not worried about Vince. This was the start of the STUPID mental disorder or whatever it was. That could have worked if he never said he didn’t have it or whatever but the whole thing was just stupid. Jericho shows up and says good job on kicking Vince in the head.

We get a recap of all of the Rumbles which never gets old. This is the really cool one with the following stats, accurate as of coming into the 09 Rumble:

22 winners (in 21 matches, but remember Luger and Hart were co-winners)

598 competitors (this is odd as there was one match with only 20 entrants and I don’t think there are enough to knock out twelve people over the years, unless they’re counting all the times where a guy gets beaten up on the way to the ring)

36 people that Austin eliminated, a record that Kane will likely break someday.

11 people that Kane threw out in 2001 which is insane

11 consecutive Rumbles for Kane, which is awesome

1 woman ever for Chyna

62 minutes 12 seconds which is the official record I guess, even though if you listen to the commentary for the 92 Rumble Flair was in for about 70 or so, which was false.

2 seconds that the Warlord lasted.

3 times that Austin won, which is also a record

1, the number with the same amount of winners as number 30, which is insane when you think about it. Note that in the video for this they only show Shawn when talking about the number one spot.

27, which has had 4 winners (Studd, Yoko, Hart, Austin in 2001)

70 which is the percent that since 1993 that the winner has won the world title at Mania.

This was an AWESOME package that got me completely in the mood for a great Rumble.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals this year. Rey has number one and Morrison number two. If they had any idea what kind of a classic they would have in the fall they would be amazed. Rey’s mask makes him looking like a member of the Klan. Ross and Lawler are doing the commentary which just makes this feel right. One thing I like that they’ve got going here is they have a big Mania 25 logo in the corner of the arena and everyone keeps pointing to it.

Miz and Morrison are of course tag champions here. Rey does an awesome spinning move around John to get to an arm drag. Number three is Carlito. He’s a face here as he’s part of the Smackdown tag champions which would be unified at Mania. Oh no wait it was before Mania because we had to have a Kid Rock medley. MVP, just having turned face is 4th. Khali is 5th as not a lot is happening. He of course dominates the whole thing and chops the heck out of them all.

I hated the match he had with Rey when Rey was world champion. It completely killed Rey’s credibility for months. Kozlov, still undefeated and with a decent amount of heat is 6th. He drops Khali in about 5 seconds. MVP and Carlito are both out now so it’s Rey, Morrison who has been hiding and Vlady. It’s HHH at number 7 to a roar. After a facebuster, HHH throws him out with ease. Orton is 8th and it’s on.

The clock came up very fast for him as I’m assuming HHH was afraid of being in there with two good workers like Morrison and Rey. Morrison gets a 619 and Cryme Tyme come out and flip a coin to decide who gets in and it’s JTG. The clock is going WAY too fast here as DiBiase is 10th. Morrison and JTG both go over but hang on and kick at each other in a cool looking spot and then DiBiase and Rey do it and then HHH and Orton do it. That’s either cool or stupid.

Jericho is 11th. Well no one can say that they’re sticking with small stars in the opening. Despite the star power, not a lot of interesting anything is going on, mainly because it’s so clear Orton will win. Mike Knox and the beard of awesome is 12th. Knox would somehow manage to get into the Elimination Chamber next month which blew my mind and sucked at the same time. Miz is 13th.

He was about to start making fun of Cena and becoming the awesome character that he still is to this day. Morrison takes a sweet RKO and then so does Miz and JTG. He gets stopped by a Pedigree as HHH throws out Morrison and Miz while Finlay is 14th.

In a SWEET spot, Rey goes over the top to the floor but walks on Miz and Morrison to stay alive. That was awesome. How in the world are we almost halfway done with this? Rhodes is number 15. Rey gets a springboard and Orton takes him down with an RKO. The lights go out and Taker is sixteenth. Taker is on one side of the ring and everyone else is on the other. He beats them all up and throws out JTG with ease of course.

The crowd is way into him. That’s why he’s still getting pushed. Gold freaking Dust is 17th. WHY does he still have a job? He has no gimmick and is slipping in the ring. He and Cody have a showdown and Goldie beats him up. This is being written on December 23rd. My wish for Cody: that he makes 1/10 of the impact Goldust made. He’s got a long way to go. Rhodes puts out Rhodes and Orton is very proud. Punk gets number 18.

That pop doesn’t exist according to Vince as he deserves to be jobbed to Cena in less than two minutes. He won the IC Title about two weeks prior to this and the Triple Crown in less than a year. That’s amazing. Vince disagrees apparently. Yeah I’m a Punk mark, get over it. He hits GTS on HHH which surprises me. Henry, still a heel and not yet the Kool Aid Man is 19th.

The ring is WAY too full here with twelve or thirteen people in there. Shelton, the US Champion, is 20th. Punk and Jericho are on the top for some reason and Shelton does a running double Downward Spiral to them, which is called a reverse DDT by JR because he’s an idiot. Regal is 21st and he’s the guy that Punk beat for the IC Title.

Mysterio puts Henry out which is of course perfectly fine. Kofi, still not a big deal at all but getting very popular very fast, is 22nd. Taker is bleeding which I’d assume is hardway and he throws out Shelton. Kane is 23rd. Rey is upside down and hanging on in a weird looking position. Lawler counts 12 or 13 people in there. Kane and Taker hook up for awhile for a double chokeslam on DiBiase. Punk puts Regal out. R-Truth is 24th.

There are WAY too many people in there and even more just laying around and doing absolutely nothing at the moment. That’s the problem with having people last a long time in there. They’re used to ten to twenty minute matches at most so this is the equivalent of a rest hold. Rob Van Dam is 25th to an EPIC pop. The whole match stops to watch.

Something that would crack me up is if they didn’t know he was coming. He does his top rope kick to Kane who just watches it happen. I know there’s no point in having him in there as there’s no way he’ll win, but he’s a WRESTLER and a former world champion. There’s his validation. Kendrick is 26th. He manages to put Kofi out and then be thrown out in 15 seconds. Van Dam is just so ridiculously over it’s scary.

Dolph Ziggler, still meaning nothing, is 27th. He runs into Kane resulting in a quick elimination. There are at least 14 people in there and most of them are doing nothing with maybe 4 really working in there. Ross actually says they’re trying to keep up with the action. Santino is 28 and breaks Warlord’s record by being clotheslined out in 1 second by Kane who was right there. Hogan got a running start to put out Warlord which explains the time lapse.

HHH and Taker go at it which is always awesome. Jim Freaking Duggan is 29th. REALLY? This is what ticks people off about the modern WWE. Shad can’t get in there? Primo can’t? Instead we put a 50 year old jobber in there instead. Yes he’s won before but we don’t wheel Luger out to be in there also.

Big Show is number 30, so here’s your final group. You may need a pillow as this might last into the night. The group is Rey, HHH, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Taker, Punk, Kane, R-Truth, RVD, Duggan and Show. That’s 14 people. DO YOU THINK THAT’S ENOUGH? Well since they’re all in here let’s get rid of them. Everyone stops except Duggan who keeps punching someone while everyone else stops to watch which looks really stupid.

He and Taker have their requited showdown and Kane does the required run in to stop it. Show puts out Duggan. Jericho jumps on Show which is amusing now. Truth gets thrown out by Show after a beating. Show throws Punk over three times and then knocks him out with a right hand. Punk’s selling is masterful. You know, the selling he demonstrated when he tapped to Cena in 2 minutes at the Slammies because that made SO much sense right?

Show puts out Knox and Rey as Horny comes in for no apparent reason and then Kane eliminates Finlay. Van Dam nods at a referee which I’d assume means something. Show and Taker go at it of course because that has to happen at least once every six months. Yeah Van Dam goes out soon after so I’m assuming a referee signaled that he was next out or something. I’ve always wondered how they knew when to do that.

Taker puts out Jericho and we’re down to seven. We’ve got Legacy, the big trio and HHH. There goes Kane, shocking no one as he jobs first. Legacy goes after Taker which is surprising. Taker counters with a double clothesline and a chokeslam for Orton. He doesn’t throw him over because he has to win though. Taker and Show have a boxing match or something resembling one. Taker has somehow shrunk from 7’0 to 6’11 to 6’10 to now 6’9 over the years.

Orton tries and RKO but just gets shoved off which never gets old. Taker and Show fight on the apron and Orton puts Show out who then pulls Taker out. Priceless being caught in a double choke by Taker made me imagine them in the locker room and Taker saying boys I’ve got cups older than you so sit down. That leaves us with Legacy and HHH as it’s all about him again.

This is a step down from HHH, Batista, Cena and Kane from last year. You ever notice how HHH is ALWAYS around near the end of these things? He was close in 98, won in 2002, 3rd in 2006, 2nd in 2008 and 2nd in 2009. That’s most interesting isn’t it? He of course throws out Legacy and then Orton dumps him for the completely inevitable win. Massive posing takes us out.

Rating: D. This just wasn’t that good. WAY too many people and WAY too much laying around just drained the life out of it. Van Dam coming in was great but Orton was so clearly the winner here that it sucked the life out of it. That’s something I burned Sly on once as he said that this was one of the best Rumbles ever and then slipped and said that the way you determine a good Rumble is by saying anyone could win.

I asked who else could have won in 09. I’m waiting on a reply to that and it’s been nearly a year boss. Anyway, this wasn’t interesting to me back then or now as it was just about HHH vs. the world and that’s simply not interesting. Of course, they would feud for the majority of the year and kill Raw in the process, but Vince is in love with Orton despite what ratings say so there we go.

Overall Rating: B+. Rumble aside, this is a great show. You have four solid matches with drama and title changes and storyline advancement. What more could you ask for out of this thing? I really liked it and it came out very well. The Rumble itself was pretty bad but then again so was Raw as a whole this year. As for the show, watch it but stop the DVD before the Rumble but after the Rumble package.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also -available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author- page with cheap wrestling books at:

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IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2008
Date: January 27, 2008
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City New York
Attendance: 20,798
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

This was the other request so let’s throw up a triple shot this year. The big story here is Jeff Hardy challenging Randy Orton for the Raw World Title. This was set up incredibly well with Hardy being set up as the ultimate underdog who might be able to pull off the miracle. The fans believe in him and it’s an absolutely incredible build that had me dying to see what they did. Let’s get to it.

The opening video features a bunch of wrestlers getting on a subway before going into a history of the Rumble. This year’s show gets some time as well and we cut to a fight in the subway, because wrestlers are going to wrestle.

I love the MSG setup with the entrance opposite the hard camera. It’s the only major arena to do that and it feels special.

Ric Flair vs. MVP

MVP’s US Title isn’t on the line. This was during the “if Flair loses he retires” period and MVP wanted to take him out for good, as did so many others. Before the match, Flair talks about how important this arena is and how he first wrestled here in March 1976. MVP’s entrance cuts off a rather nice speech because MVP is a rather good jerk. MVP easily takes him down and strikes a pose but Flair just WOOs at him.

Back up and Flair takes him into the corner for the chops and punches, including a big chop to put MVP down. That’s about it for the offense though as MVP kicks him in the face and gets two off a neckbreaker. Cole says he’s sure that there are fans here who were here for Flair’s first match. Really? A fan who is there for two shows 32 years apart? That’s a bit of a stretch, but Cole never was all that logical. Flair comes back with a quick Figure Four attempt but gets small packaged for two instead.

Another running boot in the corner (Helluva Kick) gives MVP three….with Flair’s foot on the rope. You know Little Naitch is thrilled to be able to say Flair gets to keep going. A superplex gives MVP two more but Flair gets in a clothesline out of the corner for a breather. Flair grabs a rollup and backslide for two each and it’s time for stylin and profilin. The Playmaker is countered into the Figure Four and MVP taps out clean.

Rating: C. Perfectly watchable match here and I can even forgive the US Champion doing a clean job for the sake of what is likely Flair’s last match in the Garden. I didn’t care for this whole story at first but it’s grown on me a bit over time. Flair deserves this kind of goodbye and his matches were still perfectly watchable at this point. Not too bad here, and a great feel good moment to ope the show.

Flair gets the big standing ovation that you knew was coming.

Hornswoggle, Vince McMahon’s son at this point in a story that is still so bizarre and gets worse every time, is in Vince’s office. Vince gives him a history of the McMahon Family in the Garden. Tonight it’s every man for himself and you can’t even trust your own family. Finlay comes in and Hornswoggle is rather happy to see him. Vince tells Finlay not to trust Hornswoggle, who jumps into Finlay’s arms as they leave. I’m still not sure if they know how old Hornswoggle is supposed to be here. That was never quite clear.

We meet new correspondent Mike Adamle, who actually doesn’t screw anything up! Yet.

We recap JBL vs. Chris Jericho. JBL had been doing commentary on Jericho’s World Title shot and got knocked down so he cost Jericho the match. The feud ensued with JBL even yelling about Jericho’s family. It’s time for the fight as Jericho continues to try to click in his return.

Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Ah the days of a ton of pyro for a midcard match entrance. They shove each other around to start with JBL hiding in the corner and the ropes. The second break is enough for JBL to get in a few right hands so Jericho takes him down for some of his own. The early Walls are broken up by a grab of the rope and JBL drops him throat first (the throat/neck that was damaged in the buildup) onto the top rope.

A standing Clothesline From JBL gets two and he catapults the throat into the middle rope to make it even worse. We hit the sleeper to stay on Jericho’s neck until Jericho slips out and hits a clothesline of his own. JBL is fine enough to send him shoulder first into the post and Jericho is busted open. Back in and JBL stomps away as the blood is starting to flow. They fight to the floor again and Jericho BLASTS him with a chair to the head for the DQ. Kind of a sudden finish but that sounded amazing.

Rating: D+. This really didn’t work as JBL can’t do much and Jericho didn’t exactly do much other than throw punches. Jericho is already in need of a heel turn as the face push isn’t exactly working. Maybe it’s the lack of hair or just rust but it’s not exactly clicking here. Then again Jericho is known for being able to change things up at the drop of a hat so I’m sure he’ll be fine.

Post match Jericho beats the heck out of JBL and chokes him with the television cable.

Ashley Massaro tries to go see Maria but boyfriend Santino cuts her off. See, Maria is NOT interested in posing for Playboy, though the magazine had probably already been shot by this point. For the sake of modesty, we’ll move on.

We recap Edge vs. Rey Mysterio. Edge has used his relationship with Vickie Guerrero to become World Heavyweight Champion but Mysterio won a Beat the Clock Challenge (with the help of Batista and Undertaker) by pinning Edge on Smackdown. This earned Rey some beatings from Edge and the Edgeheads (Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder), because you have to have some lackeys.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Edge is defending and has Vickie (in a wheelchair) and the Edgeheads out here with him. The fans actually boo Mysterio a bit and cheer loudly for Edge. Feeling out process to start with Edge slipping out of the corner to continue the staredown. Rey takes him down and gets two off a basement dropkick as the fans are relentless with the booing. Back up and Edge sends him outside for the quick beating from the Edgeheads. For once the referee isn’t an idiot and ejects him, allowing Rey to get two off a springboard seated senton.

Edge takes out the knee though in a smart move and Mysterio is right back in trouble. A kneeling half crab stays on the knee but Rey fights up and scores with an enziguri. The bad knee means the 619 is very slow though and Edge grabs a powerslam for two. Something close to an ankle lock keeps the leg in trouble and now it’s time to get series as Edge loosens the knee brace. That’s enough to wake Rey up for the sitout bulldog and another kick to the head (with the good leg) gets two.

Rey changes things up a bit with a top rope double stomp for two, followed by a hurricanrana to send Edge outside. The slide into the tornado DDT has Edge in even more trouble but he kicks Rey in the head to get a breather. Mysterio is right back with a drop toehold into the 619, which draws Vickie out of the wheelchair. The distraction means Rey has to hit another 619 so Vickie jumps up to take the blow. That’s enough for Edge to get up and spear a springboarding Rey out of the air for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. This was good, though it never got up to the level you would expect from these two. Edge retaining is far from a surprise and the ending worked really well, with Vickie showing her love for Edge, who likely doesn’t care because it’s all about the title. That spear out of the air was awesome too, meaning this was perfectly fine for a Royal Rumble title defense.

Mr. Kennedy gives Flair, in a towel, a slow clap and sounds like he wants to face Flair next but here’s Shawn Michaels to get rid of him. Shawn says a loud mouthed bleach blonde guy will never work as a gimmick today and Flair seems pleased. Batista and HHH come in with HHH telling Flair to put his pants on. Tensions are teased over who will win the Royal Rumble so Shawn turns it into a merch plug.

Here’s Maria for the Kiss Cam, which totally feels in place at the Royal Rumble. This is the excuse to bring out Ashley to ask about the Playboy shoot again. Cue Santino with someone under a blanket to say stop it. There will be no Playboy because no one wants to see Maria with no clothes on.

We hit the cheap New York sports teams suck heat and, after a LET’S GO GIANTS chant, the fans seem interested in having Maria in the magazine. Santino: “They would cheer for hepatitis if you asked them to!” Santino brings in the blanketed person and of course it’s Big Dick Johnson in Patriots (Giants opponent in next week’s Super Bowl) gear for some dancing. Ashley beats him up to conclude our comedy.

Wrestlemania ad with a Baywatch theme. Believe it or not, Kelly Kelly fits this perfectly.

Adamle throws us to the recap video for Randy Orton vs Jeff “Harvey” in a fairly infamous botch.

So this is the biggest match on the show, even bigger than the Royal Rumble. Apparently the buys went WAY up as a result of Hardy getting the shot and it’s one of the best builds I’ve ever seen. You might remember me saying that Mysterio was the challenger that had no chance of winning. Well Jeff is the polar opposite, as WWE has done a masterful job at making you believe that Hardy could win.

The idea is that Orton is the perfect wrestler but Hardy is willing to do anything to win and could actually pull it off. This included one dive after another to Orton and sweet goodness did they ever work. I COMPLETELY bought Jeff as a real challenger and a lot of other people did too. It didn’t make sense, but WWE managed to create something where you believed the impossible could happen and it was amazing. I still love the build to this and it’s one of the handful of best jobs I’ve ever seen them do.

Raw World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending and Jeff’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line. Dang I miss Burn In My Light as Orton’s theme. The fans are behind Hardy for the early lockup exchange and Jeff takes him down with a headlock. The legdrop between the legs into the basement dropkick gives Jeff two but Orton is right back with some forearms to the back. Orton to the crowd: “WHO’S YOUR BOY NOW???”

Jeff clotheslines him right back down and hits a heck of a dropkick through the ropes, leaving Orton’s head a bit crooked against the barricade. The first big dive takes Orton down and the fans believe it all over again. Back in and Orton hits a big dropkick to break up a springboard, which you had to know was coming sooner or later. There’s a suplex on the floor to give Orton two and it’s time to slowly stomp away. Back up and Jeff sends him over the top for a clothesline from the apron. Jeff takes him back inside but gets sent into the post, allowing Orton to throw on a chinlock.

Since it’s a big match though, he adds a grapevine for a bonus. The powerslam gives Orton two and we hit the chinlock for the second time in a minute. Jeff fights up again and hits the Whisper in the Wind, followed by the slingshot dropkick in the corner. It’s too early for the Swanton so Jeff settles for a missile dropkick to knock him off the apron instead. Jeff’s moonsault to the floor barely makes contact and they’re both down. Back in and Jeff tries the Twist of Fate but gets countered into the RKO for the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. It was good, but without a title change (which didn’t need to happen yet) there was no way they could live up to the hype that had been built. Hardy got in some dives but there was only so much you can do when you’re not winning the title. They NAILED the build and the match itself was fine, but it was a little deflating. Jeff certainly moved up a few levels though and that’s what matters most.

Jeff gets the standing ovation, but it’s not the strongest in the world.

Rumble By The Numbers:

21 Winners

569 Wrestlers Eliminated

36 Eliminations for Steve Austin, the most ever

11 Royal Rumbles for Shawn Michaels, the most ever

11 Eliminations for Kane, the most in one match

10 Consecutive Royal Rumbles for Kane

3 Times Mick Foley entered in 1998

2 Feet that need to hit the ground for an elimination

1 Woman to have entered, with Chyna

62:12 for Rey Mysterio in 2006, the most ever

:02 For Warlord in 1990, the least ever

3 Wins for Steve Austin, the most ever

#1 Spot, which has produced more winners than #30

1 Winner from #30, the Undertaker in 2007

4 Winners from #27, the most of all time

73% Success rate for winners at Wrestlemania

1 Road to Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

Michael Buffer of all people gets to do the intro, which is a very WCW thing to do, though that voice is hard to turn down. There are ninety second intervals this year so things are going to be moving. Undertaker is in at #1 and Shawn Michaels is in at #2, with Buffer just calling him the Heartbreak Kid and never mentioning his name. Shawn (or Heartbreak) chops away in the corner to start but gets grabbed by the throat and sent into the corner for his efforts. Undertaker misses a running boot though and gets sent out to the apron. He’s fine enough to grab Shawn by the throat and hit a big boot as Santino Marella is in at #3.

Death comes quickly as Shawn superkicks him and Undertaker gets the elimination in less than thirty seconds. Shawn goes to throw Undertaker out and that’s just not bright. Old School is broken up with a pull off the top but Undertaker hits a chokeslam as Great Khali is in at #4. The fans immediately start the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants as Undertaker and Khali slug it out. The big chop is blocked though and Undertaker throws him out to get us back down to two. Hardcore Holly is in at #5 and might have some more staying power.

Undertaker and Shawn take turns knocking him down until Holly gets in a cheap shot on Undertaker to knock him into the ropes. Shawn and Holly chop it out in the corner until John Morrison is in at #6. As Coach talks about Morrison and Miz spending all night partying, Shawn throws Morrison off the top and hits the top rope elbow. It’s too early for Sweet Chin Music and Tommy Dreamer is in at #7, because WE NEED TOMMY DREAMER!!!

The traditional brawling around the ring begins with Dreamer pretending he has a chance to eliminate Undertaker. Batista is in at #8 and that keeps the crowd going even more. That gives us the big showdown with Undertaker but Dreamer (OF COURSE) breaks it up, thankfully getting eliminated. Batista spears Morrison but gets punched down in the corner by Undertaker.

Hornswoggle is in at #9 and immediately hides underneath the ring. Another spear takes Undertaker down and the brawling continues. Angry biker Chuck Palumbo is in at #10, giving us Undertaker, Shawn, Holly, Morrison, Batista, Hornswoggle and Palumbo. Morrison pulls himself back in from the apron as we get to the standard operating procedure of people trying to save themselves on the ropes. Jamie Noble, currently feuding with Palumbo and rather banged up, is in at #11 and slugs it out with Palumbo.

That’s good for an elimination in about thirty seconds to keep the ring from getting too full. CM Punk is in at #12 and you know the fans are going to be into him. A bunch of running knees have Punk on a roll and he throws Palumbo out. Cody Rhodes is in at #13 and a grand total of nothing happens. Well unless you count basic brawling and no one being close to an elimination. Umaga is in at #14 and knocks Holly out in a hurry to keep things balanced.

Snitsky is in at #15 (He was still around in 2008?) and the Big Bald starts cleaning house. Cody takes him to the apron but Punk can’t shove either of them out. As Cole says Morrison is like a young Shawn Michaels, Morrison’s partner Miz is in at #16. Undertaker puts Umaga on the apron but can’t stomp him out as Shelton Benjamin is in at #17. The jump to the top lets him knock Miz and Morrison to the apron, followed by Paydirt to Morrison.

That’s enough from Shelton though as Sweet Chin Music is good for an elimination. Well that works. I loved the original Shelton run but he never recovered from that Gold Standard nonsense. Jimmy Snuka of all people is in at #18 and the fans literally get to their feet for that one. Undertaker tries a headbutt and hurts himself in a little payback from Wrestlemania VII. The old man abuse stops….and Roddy Piper is in at #19 to blow away Snuka’s pop.

Piper and Snuka have the big showdown in slow motion (thankfully with Piper in shorts instead of trunks) and everyone stops to watch the fight. Things settle back down until Kane is in at #20 to get rid of Piper and Snuka, leaving us with Undertaker, Michaels, Morrison, Batista, Hornswoggle (still under the ring), Punk, Rhodes, Umaga, Snitsky, Miz and Kane. Undertaker loads up a chokeslam on Kane but goes after Michaels instead, with Kane making the save for some reason.

Carlito is in at #21 and spits the apple at Cody as there are too many people who have been around too long. A nice backflip gets Carlito out of trouble and it’s Mick Foley in at #22 to a very long and positive reaction. Batista takes the Last Ride and Foley hits a double arm DDT on Kane. There’s a Samoan drop from Umaga to Undertaker as the ring is way too full. Mr. Kennedy is in at #23 to make it even worse but Undertaker takes him down with a chokeslam. A lot of people are down as Undertaker starts hitting his running clotheslines in the corner.

Undertaker gets rid of Snitsky but walks into Sweet Chin Music for the big surprise elimination. Kennedy gets rid of Shawn immediately thereafter, all while Big Daddy V is in at #24. Undertaker beats up Snitsky to blow off some steam before leaving. We get some near eliminations with Cody and Kennedy fighting to the apron and Mark Henry is in at #25. Hornswoggle returns from the dead and pulls Miz out before heading right back underneath the ring. As Snitsky finally gets up to leave, V can’t get rid of Morrison or Kennedy. Chavo Guerrero is in at #26 and Kane kicks Morrison out.

Henry pulls the returning Hornswoggle inside so here’s Finlay to jump the gun at #27 to swing the shillelagh. He and Hornswoggle leave, with the explanation being that Finlay was disqualified for using the club and Hornswoggle was, uh, short? Finlay holds Hornswoggle’s hand on the way out, again acting like he’s about five. Elijah Burke is in at #28 and MY GOODNESS get rid of some people already. The Samoan Spike sends Batista underneath the ropes and outside for a breather.

Chavo gets rid of Punk and it’s HHH at #29 to hopefully eliminate half the field. Cody, Big Daddy V, Foley (nice slugout first) and Burke are all gone to make things way better. Umaga gets sent head first into the post and Pedigreed….and JOHN CENA is in at #30 to one of the all time great pops.

See, Cena had torn his pectoral muscle back in October and the word was he was going to miss Wrestlemania, if not the following Summerslam. WWE had this wild idea for Cena: use a combination of Cena’s uncanny ability to heal and recover in a crazy hurry and, of course, LIE. This is one of the best shocking returns ever because Cena had been completely written off for at least the next six months. The fans, as in the MSG fans, are STUNNED and pop the roof off the place before realizing that it’s Cena and they’re supposed to boo at him.

Cena starts cleaning house and gets rid of Carlito, Chavo and Henry to get us down to Cena, HHH, Umaga, Kane, Batista and Kennedy. We get the big showdown with Cena and HHH as the right hands start fast. HHH hits a spinebuster but walks into an uppercut from Umaga. Kane and Kennedy are dispatched in a hurry and it’s HHH and Batista teaming up to toss Umaga. That leaves us with three, which is a heck of a triple threat. Batista gives both of them the thumbs down and the fight is on with a double clothesline putting HHH and Cena down.

There’s the big spinebuster to both of them but Cena counters the Batista Bomb. A clothesline gets rid of Batista and we’re down to the major showdown, which the fans certainly enjoy. That means POINTING AT THE SIGN (take that Ronda) and they slug it out with the fans being behind Cena. HHH gets caught with Cena’s usual but it’s a double clothesline for the double knockdown. A DDT takes Cena down again but he counters another Pedigree attempt into the AA over the top for the win.

Rating: C+. This was a bumpy road as they didn’t pace things well, meaning the match was way too full for far too long. They had a nice balance of legends and modern stars though with those three New York pops being very well done. It’s not a great match or anything, but what we got worked.

Now, with that out of the way, this is ALL about Cena’s return with nothing else coming close. That’s the kind of ovation and reaction you only get once in a long time and my goodness did it work here. Cena being back changed everything and it was a great moment all around. Just watching that crowd of smarks lose their minds because they were actually surprised is an all time favorite of mine and it still works eleven years later.

Overall Rating: C. Kind of an awkward show as the whole big moment at the end doesn’t exactly make up for everything else. Now that being said, there’s nothing too bad or even bad at all, but nothing that stands out either. The Hardy vs. Orton match was all hype but still entertaining, while I’m already having trouble remembering the rest of the card. Cena’s return stole everything and that’s fine, as it wasn’t really a great show to start.

Ratings Comparison

Ric Flair vs. MVP

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: C

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Jericho

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D+

Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: B

Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: B-

Royal Rumble

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: C

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/27/royal-rumble-count-up-2008-screw-wwes-list-this-is-the-1-rumble-moment/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/22/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2008-the-biggest-surprise-in-rumble-history/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also -available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author- page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6