Elimination Chamber 2019: Not Since Rock vs. Cena

IMG Credit: WWE

Elimination Chamber 2019
Date: February 17, 2019
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young, Tom Phillips, Percy Watson

It’s the first of two stops on the Road to Wrestlemania and that means we’ll be seeing a big steel structure. In this case it’s for the WWE Championship and the inaugural WWE Women’s Tag Team Titles. The structure alone makes this a little more interesting and hopefully it’s good on top of that. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Buddy Murphy vs. Akira Tozawa

Murphy is defending and they start fast with a battle over the wristlock. The fight heads outside with Tozawa ducking a chop to send Murphy’s hand into the post. Murphy is fine enough to drop him on the floor for an eight count and let’s go to the back for an interview with Kofi Kingston. Well actually with Xavier Woods and Big E. as Kofi is undergoing a maple syrup massage.

Tozawa gets caught in a backbreaker and a chinlock as Xavier talks about Kofi being a legend before the three of them ever got together. Dancing ensues and we go back to a full screen with Tozawa hiptossing his way out of an abdominal stretch. A running boot in the corner hits the champ, followed by a Shining Wizard for two. Murphy gets caught on top and what looks like a super gorilla press is countered into a super hurricanrana for the second near fall.

Tozawa gets pulled into a fireman’s carry facebuster, followed by a hard knee to the face to give Murphy two of his own. They chop it out until Tozawa’s bridging German suplex gets two more. A kick to the face sets up a middle rope inverted hurricanrana to send Murphy outside. That means a pair of suicide headbutts, followed by Murphy getting caught in the rope for the top rope backsplash to the back. Tozawa’s Iron Octopus has Murphy in trouble so he muscles it up into Murphy’s Law to retain at 13:21.

Rating: B-. The extra time helped this one a lot and that’s a good sign for the division. Tozawa was little more than the challenger of the month but he made the most of it and that’s the best thing possible. Murphy is almost destined for a major title match at Wrestlemania, though I’m not sure who could serve in that role.

The opening video mainly focuses on the Elimination Chamber, which is a major stop on the Road to Wrestlemania. The other matches get some attention too, which is fine.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Naomi/Carmella vs. Samoan Slaughterhouse vs. Boss N Hug Connection vs. IIconics vs. Fire and Desire vs. Riott Squad

For the inaugural titles in the Elimination Chamber, meaning two teams start and it’s another team coming in every five minutes. The last team standing wins the titles. Fire and Desire (Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville) and the Boss N Hug Connection (Bayley/Sasha Banks) start things off after losing triple threat matches earlier in the week. Banks is ready to go to start and hits a crossbody on both of them to start. A hard spinebuster out of the corner plants Banks and Mandy’s backbreaker gets two.

Bayley and Banks get slammed onto the steel outside of the ring but Mandy’s running big boot gets caught in the Chamber wall. That lets Bayley hit a somewhat dangerous neckbreaker as the Riott Squad is in third. Bayley and Banks are ready for them but get taken down, allowing Logan to slam Banks into the pod with a huge thud. Mandy and Sonya get back up for the former lackey showdown and Liv drops Sonya with one shot. Sonya does the same to her for two though and everyone is staggered.

Bayley gets back up and heads to the top, setting up a Tower of Doom to put all six down. The IIconics are in fourth to cover everyone for some one counts. A double gordbuster hits Sonya and Liv gets dropped as well. Double knees to the face have Bayley in trouble with Sasha making the save, earning the two of them a face crushing against the Chamber. Bayley gets kicked in the face for two and it’s Naomi/Carmella (possibly Fabulous Glow, because putting nicknames together is how you make a name anymore).

Graves makes a comments about Carmella so Renee cuts him down with “I don’t think so World Champion Of Love.” Naomi’s split legged moonsault gets two on Morgan but the Squad gets back up and everyone is knocked down all at once. Carmella grabs the Code of Silence on Mandy but Sonya makes the save, leaving us with the Naomi vs. Mandy showdown. Before that can go very far, the IIconics hit a sunset flip/jackknife rollup combination to get rid of Naomi at 17:08.

Everyone else surrounds the IIconics but the countdown goes on, meaning everyone switches over to the Samoan pod. The Samoans clean house so the IIconics hide in a pod like an idiot. The doors are pried open and it’s a double ram into the Chamber as the dominance begins. A double Samoan drop gets rid of the IIconics at 20:10. Everyone gets together again with an assisted Diamond Dust getting two on Tamina. Mandy and Sonya kick the heck out of her for two more but Banks and Bayley knock them down for some reason.

A hot shot into the buckle has Mandy in trouble and Sonya gets sent into the same corner, only to miss Mandy which seemed to be the intended target. Sonya crashes and then turns her head to glare at Mandy in a funny spot. Fire and Desire hits the BIG dives off the top of the pod but the Squad is right there to take them down. The Samoans get back up and it’s the super Samoan drop into the double Superfly Splash to get rid of the Squad at 24:19.

Nia misses the running charge through the pod to knock herself cold, leaving everyone to get together on Tamina, with the Meteora setting up the Bayley top rope elbow. A big pile on gets rid of Tamina at 27:04. We’re down to Bayley/Sasha vs. Mandy/Sonya for the titles and Banks knees Mandy down. The Backstabber into the Bayley to Belly gets two on Sonya as Mandy dives in for the save.

With nothing else working, everyone but Sonya wind up on top of a pod. Mandy’s head goes into the steel and Bayley kicks Sonya down. Bayley gets knocked down as well and it’s Banks getting sent down, setting up the lifting sitout Pedigree for a great near fall. Sonya spears Mandy by mistake and Sasha grabs the Bank Statement. Her bad shoulder won’t let her get the full thing though so she uses her foot (cool) to get the hold on for the tap and the titles at 32:47.

Rating: A-. This was WAY better than I had any hope for and it was an actually dramatic and downright great match with Sasha making up for not being able to help Banks over the last few weeks. Bayley and Banks winning is fine, though you can probably pencil in the Samoans to take the titles pretty soon down the line. Anyway, this was a heck of a match and they beat the heck out of each other with some of the best near falls I can remember seeing in women’s wrestling. Mandy and Sonya took it to a level I didn’t know they had in them and this was outstanding.

Post match Bayley and Banks get a YOU DESERVE IT chant. Banks says they’ve worked hard to get here and more changes are still to come.

We recap the Smackdown Tag Team Title match. Miz and Shane McMahon won the Tag Team Titles as a “dream” team and the Usos won a match to earn the shot.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Miz/Shane McMahon

Miz and Shane are defending but before we get going, Miz congratulates Bayley and Banks for winning the titles. He brings out Maryse for a big announcement: she’s pregnant again. After the sweet announcement, Shane comes out and Maryse joins him in his dance. Jimmy knocks Miz down to start but Shane tags himself in and tries a very early Coast to Coast.

That’s broken up so Shane elbows Jimmy in the face and brings Miz back in for the YES Kicks. Miz gets taken into the corner though and it’s time for the double teaming to begin. Jimmy takes the baseball jersey off of Miz and throws it at Shane, allowing Miz to make the comeback. Shane comes in off the hot tag and hits a very fast Coast to Coast, only to eat the superkick for two.

Miz comes back in as the pace picks up with a dropkick through the ropes to Jey. It’s time for the announcers’ table (Corey: “It’s too early in the night! I need work space!”) with Shane hitting the big elbow to drive Jey through. Back in and Jimmy superkicks Miz but the Superfly splash hits knees. The Skull Crushing Finale gets two but Jimmy rolls over into a crucifix for the pin and the titles at 13:49.

Rating: C. Well that’s….surprising. I’m certainly not complaining but you don’t quite expect a guy to get arrested for disorderly conduct and then pin Miz to win some titles. The Usos are a far better choice for champions and it does help a lot that Miz and Shane lost the belts in their first defense. Still not a good idea in the first place, but at least it didn’t last long.

Miz and Shane leave together without fighting.

Lio Rush says he’s not the weak link and isn’t letting Bobby Lashley lose the Intercontinental Title.

Intercontinental Title: Finn Balor vs. Bobby Lashley/Lio Rush

Balor is challenging and can win the title by pinning or submitting either Lashley or Rush. Lashley runs Balor over to start and goes after the bad ribs. A few shots send Lashley outside though and it’s an early breather. That just means Lashley stomps on the ribs again back inside to take over again and it’s Rush coming in to work on the ribs as well.

That includes an abdominal stretch until Balor hiptosses him into the corner. Since control is slipping away, it’s off to Lashley for a heck of a spinebuster but Rush tags himself in, saying he’ll retain the title. The Final Hour (Low Down) misses and Balor starts the comeback, including a big flip dive to take both of them out. Back in and the Coup de Grace finishes Rush to make Balor champion at 9:28.

Rating: D+. This could have been on Raw, but I’ll take what I can get. Lashley felt like little more than a dragon to slay and you could have him get his rematch down the line. The wrestling wasn’t great here, but it was more about the story than anything else with Rush costing Lashley the title because he’s not as good as his hype.

Post match Lashley allows Rush to live before destroying him for costing the title.

We look at the end of Raw with Vince McMahon suspending Becky Lynch and replacing her with Charlotte.

Last night, Becky invaded a Smackdown house show and attacked Charlotte but her knee got hurt again. You have to do something to fill in these seven weeks so this works as well as anything else.

Here’s Charlotte for a chat. She is sick of Becky coming in here and taking these spots that don’t belong to her. Charlotte can look in the mirror and get all the affirmation she needs because she knows she’s good enough. Now she’s taking her spot in the main event of Wrestlemania.

Raw Women’s Title: Ronda Rousey vs. Ruby Riott

Rousey (dressed as Sonya Blade, who she is voicing in the new Mortal Kombat game) is defending and Charlotte is at ringside. Riott gets sent outside in a hurry as the fans want Becky. Back in and a quick Piper’s Pit, with a Wrestlemania sign point, sets up the armbar to make Riott tap at 1:41. Well ok then.

Post match the fans want Becky and here she is, coming through the crowd on crutches. Becky can barely stand as we get a SHE’S THE MAN chant. She’s fine enough to swing the crutch at Charlotte and beat her down, leaving Rousey to watch the whole thing. Rousey grabs the other crutch but makes the mistake of turning her back, allowing Becky to destroy Ronda with the crutch as well. Security FINALLY comes out to break it up as Rousey is bleeding a bit. Commentary of course treats Becky like a heel because WWE still doesn’t get it.

Baron Corbin vs. Braun Strowman

No DQ. Corbin throws a vest at him to start and swings away with an early kendo stick Strowman takes it away though and breaks the stick over his knee, meaning the real beating can begin. The running shoulder on the floor sends Corbin into the barricade but he avoids a second attempt to send Strowman into the steps. The steps to the head have Strowman in trouble, allowing Corbin to mock the Strowman pose.

That’s it for Corbin, as Strowman runs him over inside, much to Renee’s delight. It’s table time with Corbin getting powerslammed through, but here are Drew McIntyre and Bobby Lashley to chair Strowman down. Corbin gets in another chair shot to keep Strowman in trouble and we’ve got two more tables. They stack the tables up and climb onto the steps for a TripleBomb through the tables, giving Corbin the pin 10:51.

Rating: D-. You know, when I was predicting these things I went with Corbin because I thought it was the least logical thing they could do, which made it the likely result. It’s likely a way to set something up for Fastlane, because Strowman needs to be further destroyed for the problem of getting over when he was pushed.

Video on the Special Olympics.

Shane is getting treatment but Miz comes in and freaks out over the loss. Shane gets up, calls him Mike, and tells him to cool off.

Here’s Lacey Evans and, after we see a Wrestlemania package, an ad for WWEshop.com and a Fastlane vignette…..she’s gone. Literally she did her entrance and then wasn’t shown again.

WWE Championship: Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Kofi Kingston vs. AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe

Bryan is defending inside the Chamber. On his way to the ring, Bryan says that it’s not fair that he’s starting the match, just like he started the gauntlet match on Tuesday. It’s because people are FICKLE! Rowan isn’t allowed at ringside either, which likely means we’ll be seeing his new follower. Bryan and Joe start things off, which is more interesting than you would think. Some early kicks to the leg earn Bryan a nearly creepy smile from Joe, followed by a kneebar for good measure.

For some reason Bryan decides to slap him in the face, meaning it’s the STF into the Crossface into something like a Rings of Saturn. Bryan fights up and kicks the knee, earning himself some even harder kicks. With Bryan down, Kofi is in third to a strong reaction from the crowd. The top rope splash to Joe’s standing back (Graves: “Kofi feeling delirious right out of the gates here!”) has Joe down so Bryan climbs up to the top of the pod. Kofi follows him up so Bryan climbs around to another but gets taken down without much effort.

Joe takes over with the running backsplash to Bryan and here’s AJ in fourth. He goes right after Bryan with the moonsault into a reverse DDT, though he adds a regular one to Kofi for good measure. Bryan goes up again so AJ springboards into a forearm to the back of the head for a unique spot. Joe is right there with a ram into the Chamber and a backdrop to the ring though, followed by the Koquina Clutch to Kofi. The rope walk doesn’t work so it’s a jawbreaker into the Phenomenal Forearm to get rid of Joe at 16:24.

Jeff Hardy is in fifth and starts the jumping until AJ nails him with a Pele. Hardy and AJ go to the corner and….I think slips with a big crash to drop AJ onto the top turnbuckle. With AJ still laying there, Jeff hits a Swanton to his back, only to walk into the running knee to get rid of Hardy at 19:51. Bryan isn’t done and puts AJ in the Tree of Woe while loading up Kofi for a superplex. AJ sits up though and German superplexes Bryan, sending Kofi flying even further.

Randy Orton is in sixth (due to winning the gauntlet match on Smackdown) to complete the field. Orton gets in a few shots here and there until Kofi kicks him in the head, drawing the fans right back to his side. AJ STO’s him into a backbreaker though (that looked painful) but the Phenomenal Forearm is countered into an RKO to get us down to three at 24:15. Kofi rolls Orton up for two but gets caught in the hanging DDT off the top to knock him silly. The RKO is countered and Trouble in Paradise out of gets rid of Orton at 26:00.

We’re down to Bryan vs. Kofi and the place is actually going NUTS for Kofi to win the title. They slug it out and kick away with Kofi saying bring it. Trouble in Paradise misses and Bryan kicks the knee out. The YES Kicks (earning NO from the crowd) have Kofi in more trouble but the big one misses. The SOS gets one of the best near falls in years and Bryan sends him into the corner.

Bryan says that Kofi doesn’t deserve to be here and the running dropkicks in the corner have Kofi in even more trouble. He gets back up after four and hits the running double stomp (ok it’s more like a kick to the chest instead) for two more. Trouble in Paradise is loaded up again but Bryan rolls outside for a smart move. Kofi follows him and loads up a bulldog but Bryan shoves him HARD into the pod for a nasty crash. The running knee turns Kofi inside out….for two and the fans are right back into this.

Bryan has had it though and grabs the arms for a series of stomps to the head. That’s only good for two again but another running knee is countered with Trouble in Paradise for two….as the camera cuts to FANS as Bryan reverses into a small package for two more. The kickout actually happened while the camera was on the fans. My goodness man. Bryan grabs something like the LeBell Lock with a pull of Kofi’s face but Kofi makes a rope anyway.

Kofi catches him with another kick on top so Bryan climbs another pod. Kofi climbs up with him and they fight over a superplex on top but since that would kill them, Kofi fights back and Bryan gets knocked down onto the top rope. More kicks put him in the ring but Kofi misses the huge splash. The running knee retains the title at 38:28.

Rating: A. That last twelve minutes are some of the best drama I’ve seen from WWE in the better part of ever. I was dying to see Kofi win here but Bryan retaining is hardly the worst result in the world. Kofi is going to get another chance after a performance like that and a one on one title match with Bryan at Fastlane wouldn’t shock me. The rest of the match was just an afterthought but that last third is incredible stuff that sucked me in like nothing has since…..dang Rock vs. Cena maybe? Just a great emotional moment here and Kofi better get the Fastlane title shot.

Bryan and Rowan leave and Kofi gets the big moment of respect with Big E. and Xavier Woods coming out to console him. Kofi gets to pose on the stage to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This really is a show where you only need to see the two major matches because nothing else matters in the slightest. The good thing though is those two matches (and the Becky segment) were awesome, with the big emotional feel to both of them. I got sucked into the main event like few other matches I can remember in years and I was wanting to see Kofi pull off the miracle. The two Chamber matches are more than worth seeing, but skip the rest of the show as it felt like stuff you could have seen on regular TV.

Results

Boss N Hug Connection won the Elimination Chamber last eliminating Fire and Desire

Usos b. Shane McMahon/The Miz – Crucifix to Miz

Finn Balor b. Bobby Lashley/Lio Rush – Coup de Grace to Rush

Ronda Rousey b. Ruby Riott – Armbar

Baron Corbin b. Braun Strowman – TripleBomb through two tables

Daniel Bryan won the Elimination Chamber last eliminating Kofi Kingston

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Smackdown – February 12, 2019: Almost In Paradise

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: February 12, 2019
Location: Huntington Center, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

It’s the go home show for Elimination Chamber and we have some big matches to get through. As was the case last night on Raw, we’ll have some kind of a match to determine the other team starting the women’s tag team Elimination Chamber match. On the opposite end, there is also a gauntlet match to determine who will enter the men’s Elimination Chamber match last. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Pedro Morales. I’m sure we’ll get the full video tribute on Raw.

We see the end of last night’s Raw with Charlotte replacing Becky Lynch in the Raw Women’s Title match at Wrestlemania. Still works for me.

A member of New Day will replace the injured Mustafa Ali in the Elimination Chamber. It was going to be one of them or Rey/Andrade so that’s fine.

Here’s Charlotte to open things up. After mocking the BECKY chants, Charlotte talks about how Becky screwed up last night, just like she always has. It was Becky who got hurt in November and gave Charlotte the spot instead, all so the myth of the Man could continue while Charlotte went to battle. She’s the background of the women’s division so Vince McMahon made a business decision so everything could work.

Becky isn’t coming out here right now because she’s a flash in the pan and not the kind of person Vince is taking a chance on. You can boo her now because she’s dedicating her win to Becky Lynch. Charlotte will be her in the front row at Elimination Chamber because we might have a new champion and she might have a new Wrestlemania opponent. Great heel promo here, as Charlotte plays that character to near perfection.

Carmella/Naomi vs. IIconics vs. Fire and Desire

The losers start the Elimination Chamber with Bayley/Sasha Banks. Before the match, all three teams talk about how they should be champions and how they have an advantage. Mandy and Carmella trade waistlocks to start as Graves praises the IIconics for being smart enough not to start since losing is all that matters here. Sonya comes in and gets kicked in the ribs a few times, allowing Naomi to grab a quickly broken armbar. Naomi’s splits splash gets two and it’s back to Carmella, who gets taken down without much effort. Of course her response is to dance because it’s all about showing off rather than hurting someone.

Mandy tags herself in but has to run from Naomi, who catches up to her on the floor as we take a break. Back with Carmella caught in a waistlock because Carmella seems to exist to dance and be in trouble. They both hit crossbodies at the same time (well Carmella just stood up straight instead of jumping or turning for a double knockdown). Mandy and Naomi come in off the hot tags to clean house, including the spinning jawbreaker from Naomi. The split legged moonsault finishes Mandy at 8:58.

Rating: D+. When did I start not liking Carmella that much? She’s just kind of there as a person to fill in a spot but she’s still the woman that was beating Charlotte and Asuka last year despite there being no reason for that to have happened. It’s hard to let go of that, though it’s not like she and Naomi have any real chance of winning the titles.

We get a graphic showing which two teams will be starting the match, which looks like it was made in 2004.

Bayley says Sasha will be in the Chamber on Sunday.

Tamina and Nia Jax say no one is walking out of the Chamber once they get done with them.

Liv Morgan will walk through fire for Sarah Logan and it’s going to be a new side of the Riott Squad on Sunday.

Mustafa Ali talks about the big hits he’s been taking and he’s upset about not having an opportunity at the WWE Championship. This is not the end and he’ll be back because he writes his story.

Here are Miz and Shane McMahon for McMizTV (take me now). Last week Miz was doing a photo shoot for his reality show and Shane was filming a guest spot for NCIS: Los Angeles. With that out of the way, here are this week’s guests: the Usos. They’re going to stand instead of having a seat and talk about how Miz and Shane may be champions but they don’t know each other. We get the Tag Team Test, which is listing off various facts about your partner, though Miz whispers the answers in Shane’s ear. Miz: “WHAT’S MY FAVORITE FOOD? Quiche.” Shane: “QUICHE! Quiche?”

They bring up the Mandy Rose issue before Shane threatens to hit Jimmy so hard that Jey will feel it. The Usos hit their catchphrase and drop the mic but Shane says the titles are the only things that are real. Shane: “You dig?” Double superkicks leave the champs laying, as it somehow becomes more obvious that they’re retaining the titles on Sunday. You know, because Shane McMahon as a champion is just something that happens in 2019.

Video on the Million Man March.

Here are Daniel Bryan and Rowan, with the former calling the fans fickle. He doesn’t need to be in the Elimination Chamber because it’s far more important that he keep the WWE Championship and help the world. He’s cut off though and we have a lot of time for the main event.

Gauntlet Match

Non-title but the winner gets to enter the Chamber last. Bryan and….Kofi Kingston start things off. I do love how they tease that it’s going to be anyone other than the singles member of the team. Bryan takes him down with a headlock to start and flips backwards into a leglock. Kofi sends Bryan outside, only to have Bryan come back in with a wristlock. Some knees to the ribs keep Kofi in trouble and it’s the surfboard double stomp to the knees.

Kofi fights up and kicks Bryan to the floor, setting up a big dive as we take a break. Back with Kofi in trouble again as Bryan hits a running dropkick to the back, sending Kofi to the apron. A middle rope knee to the back looks to set up the Swan Dive but Bryan only hits mat. Kofi is right back with a Boom Drop and a flipping splash for two.

Kofi’s springboard spinning crossbody gets two but Bryan ties him in the Tree of Woe for a sliding dropkick. A belly to back superplex is countered with Kofi landing on Bryan’s face as we take a break. Back with Bryan winning a strike off and hitting the YES Kicks, including the big one for two. They hit the pinfall reversal sequence but you don’t grapple with Bryan, who reverses into the LeBell Lock. Kofi manages a rope though and Bryan goes up, only to dive into a dropkick (despite landing on his feet before Kofi hit him).

Rowan trips Kofi so Big E. and Xavier go after him, earning a triple elimination. Bryan kicks away but misses the running corner dropkick, allowing Rowan, who I guess just stayed, to pull Kofi outside and send him into the timekeeper’s area. That means another ejection (or maybe a first) and it’s Bryan charging straight into Trouble in Paradise for the big upset at 24:30.

Jeff Hardy is in third and we come back with Kofi missing a dive into the barricade. Hardy jumps off the steps to take him out but the Swanton misses. Kofi can’t follow up though, allowing Jeff to hit the basement dropkick, which is countered into a rollup for two. The slingshot dropkick in the corner misses but Jeff catches him on top. That means a high crossbody for two, followed by the SOS to get rid of Hardy at 33:18.

Samoa Joe is in fourth and we come back with Joe hitting his corner enziguri for a close two. The abdominal stretch goes on, followed by a chinlock but Kofi sends him outside and hits a dive for a double eight count. Back in and Joe blasts him with a clothesline, followed by an atomic drop to put Kofi down again. The running backsplash gets two and Joe is incredibly frustrated.

Kofi gets to the apron for a springboard but Joe shoves him down, allowing him to stand next to the ropes and calmly count with the referee. It’s only an eight count again though and the neck crank is on. Kofi fights up and tries some clotheslines but gets caught in the Koquina Clutch. That means a climb up the corner though and Kofi flips back to pin Joe at 46:22.

Joe isn’t done though and suplexes the heck out of Kofi, followed by a Koquina Clutch on the floor. Shouldn’t that be a DQ since the next fall begins immediately? AJ Styles runs out fifth for the save and punches Joe to the back. We come back with Kofi barely able to get in the ring and AJ saying he doesn’t have to do this. Kofi says he can do this and shoves AJ, who slugs him down to start the next fall. A backbreaker gives AJ two and he starts in on the knee, followed by a snap suplex for two.

They hit a quick pinfall reversal sequence until AJ gets an STO backbreaker to really put Kofi down. Kofi fights back again and they head to the apron with Kofi missing a hard charge to slam knee first into the post. Somehow Kofi dives back in at nine and blocks a super hurricanrana to send AJ crashing to the mat. A top rope splash to AJ’s standing back (kind of like Shadows Over H***) gets two but AJ pulls him into the Calf Crusher. Kofi finally taps at 59:57 so here are Big E. and Xavier to carry him out. RKO outta nowhere finishes AJ at 1:00:58.

Rating: B-. You knew this was going to be long but the important thing is that it didn’t feel long. Kofi’s performance was great and you could make a case for him getting the Fastlane title shot assuming Bryan retains on Sunday. A nice celebration of his career is a fine idea and something that would work fine on a nothing pay per view like Fastlane. The ending was pretty clear, but there’s nothing wrong with something like that in this case. Good match, with Kofi getting a very nice rub.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a really different kind of show with only two matches, though both of them mattered for Sunday. That made this show feel WAY more like a go home show because it wasn’t spending time on stuff for Wrestlemania. Aside from the opening promo, this was all about Elimination Chamber and that’s what Monday should have felt like. There’s time to set up Wrestlemania later and putting some material in here is fine, but treat Sunday like it matters, even if it really doesn’t all that much.

Results

Carmella/Naomi b. IIconics and Fire and Desire – Split legged moonsault to Rose

Randy Orton won a gauntlet match last eliminating AJ Styles – RKO

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

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Main Event – February 7, 2019: The Most Confusing Thing I’ve Seen WWE Do In Months

IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: February 7, 2019
Location: Moda Center, Portland, Oregon
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Renee Young, Percy Watson

It’s time to really start the build towards Wrestlemania and I don’t think WWE really knows that. At the moment we have a few matches set up for Elimination Chamber, though none of them are actually from Raw. You would think that would be a problem worth fixing, but WWE certainly doesn’t seem to be in any hurry. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Lacey Evans vs. Natalya

This doesn’t exactly feel like a Main Event match. Natalya shoulders her down to start and gets two off a backslide. A wristlock is pretty easily countered and Evans has to elbow her way out of a hammerlock. The Sharpshooter doesn’t work as Lacey grabs the rope and bails to the floor for a breather.

Natalya catches her with a baseball slide but gets pulled arm first into the post. A headscissors out of the corner gives Lacey a pair of new falls, followed by a standing moonsault for the same. The chinlock is broken without much effort so Natalya clotheslines her head off. Lacey sends her into the corner though and hits a springboard moonsault (geez) for two more (uh…..) but gets pulled down into the Sharpshooter for the tap at 6:08.

Rating: C. The match was entertaining while it lasted and Lacey got to show off a lot, but why was this on Main Event, why was it against Natalya, and why did Lacey lose? You want to showcase someone so you put her on the lowest show around and have her lose? She couldn’t beat Dana Brooke or something? I’m not sure I get this but it’s not like many people saw it in the first place.

From Raw.

We open with Stephanie in the ring because she can’t wait any longer than that. Becky’s entrance cuts her off though, complete with a limp. Stephanie shows us a clip from last week’s showdown with Rousey, with Ronda talking about the bad knee. Back in the arena, Stephanie talks about the knee, with Becky says she’ll fight anyone and the doctors aren’t looking at her.

That’s not cool with Stephanie, who won’t let Becky compete without an examination. Becky doesn’t think Stephanie has ever struggled for a thing because she’s a daddy’s girl who was handed everything but wants to stop Becky from fighting for everything. No one is stopping her from Wrestlemania and that includes Stephanie.

That sounds like a liability to Stephanie because the knee can’t hold the match back. If Becky won’t get evaluated, she’s suspended until further notice. Stephanie does suspend her so Becky knocks her down with one punch. The knee gives out when Becky goes for the Disarm-Her so she beats up agents and goes for Stephanie again. Becky still can’t walk properly so she limps up the ramp.

From Smackdown.

Here’s Charlotte to say she hopes Becky gets better in time but if not, she’s 100% healthy and would love to face Ronda Rousey at Wrestlemania. Cue Becky through the crowd, with Charlotte saying the fan better have a ticket and that she needs to stop stealing Roman Reigns’ entrance. Charlotte mocks Becky’s limp but here’s an angry HHH to cut them both off. After telling Becky to get out and go see the doctor, HHH gets in Charlotte’s face and tells her to get out. Becky says she doesn’t trust any of this but HHH says get cleared by the doctor and go to Wrestlemania.

HHH goes to leave but Becky asks how Stephanie is after she got punched in the face. He doesn’t seem phased because he sees it in Becky’s face: she’s just looking to be a martyr who is trying to find a way out of this whole thing. That’s why she came to Raw just before Survivor Series. She knew it was a suicide mission and then came out blaming the doctor.

HHH continues his reverse psychology by saying Becky is doing it again. Maybe that’s why she won’t go to the doctor: the knee is fine and she’ll be stuck in the match with Rousey and be exposed as the fraud that she is. That earns him a slap to the face and the fans are right back behind her again. Becky leaves through the crowd again.

They’re doing something interesting here by going with the idea of getting inside both women’s heads where they might be scared of losing, which is a lot more interesting than the physical stuff they could do. This is a different way to go about doing things and if they can sell it right, it’s the best way to go.

Clips of Baron Corbin and Drew McIntyre going after Kurt Angle until Braun Strowman made the save.

Clips of the ensuing tag match between the four of them.

No Way Jose vs. Tyler Breeze

Jose is no Bugenhagen. Jose dances out of a wristlock to start and even helps Breeze up. A dropkick lets Jose dance some more and we’re cut to Jose getting two off a flapjack. The Supermodel Kick gives Breeze the same but he can’t get a rollup out of the corner. Breeze’s Unprettier is countered into the pop up right hand to give Jose the pin at 3:19 shown.

Rating: C-. This could have been something with the time as they were both trying, even on a show that means nothing. Now in theory that should get them somewhere, but WWE has shown that they don’t care about these two and aren’t going to anytime soon. Jose’s dancing will keep him around on house shows forever, but I’ve always wondered what he could do with a more serious gimmick.

We see the last few seconds of Jeff Hardy vs. Daniel Bryan and the brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They gave almost half of this show to the Becky stuff and really, that’s as good of a use of the time as they’re going to have. It’s not like this needs to be anything more than a recap show at this time of year, though I’m still really not sure what to make of that Evans vs. Natalya match. Anyway, the more recaps the better at this point, as it’s not like most of the people who wrestle on this show mean anything right now anyway.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown – February 5, 2019: What Raw Needs

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: February 5, 2019
Location: Angel of the Winds Arena, Everett, Washington
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re less than two weeks away from Elimination Chamber and unlike Raw, we actually have some stuff set up for the pay per view. That includes the Smackdown World Title match, meaning we have some singles matches between the six competitors to get through for the next two weeks. Those start tonight so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Stephanie McMahon suspending Becky Lynch last night and getting attacked as a result.

Good Brothers vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev

Fallout from Nakamura and Rusev both getting pinned by R-Truth last week. Lana is at ringside and still in a walking boot. Gallows shoulders Nakamura down to start and it’s quick off to Anderson, who gets kicked in the head. Rusev tags himself in and everything breaks down in a hurry, with Anderson dumping both villains to the floor for a flip dive.

Back from a break with Nakamura hitting the reverse exploder on Anderson but charging into a spinebuster. That’s enough for the hot tag to Gallows for the running splash in the corner, followed by a chokebomb to put Nakamura on the floor. He’s right back in to break up the Magic Killer on Rusev so it’s a Rocket Kick to Nakamura. Rusev is back in for the Machka Kick to finish Anderson at 7:13.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here as Rusev and Nakamura have both gone from popular faces to the new foreign heel tag team. Why that’s the best possible option isn’t clear, but I’m sure WWE thinks its better than bringing in that Rusev Day shirt money or giving the fans something to cheer for.

Mustafa Ali says what if he beats Randy Orton tonight. Or what if he wins the Elimination Chamber.

Paige shows us a clip from Fighting With My Family.

The Usos are ready to win the Tag Team Titles back. We’ve got a guy with daddy issues in Miz and a guy whose dream was to win the Tag Team Titles in Shane McMahon. Next week, McMizTV is turning into the Uso Penitentiary.

Randy Orton vs. Mustafa Ali

Ali gets a jobber entrance. During his own entrance, Orton says he doesn’t care who is in the Chamber because he doesn’t see names. Orton chops away in the corner to start but Ali tells him to bring it on. That just earns him a clothesline down and a look on his face that makes it seem to be a big mistake. They head outside with Randy dropping him onto the announcers’ table, followed by the snap powerslam. Orton hits the top rope superplex as this is completely one sided so far.

Back with Ali still in trouble and Orton grabbing a chinlock. Ali finally fights up and hits a dropkick to send Orton outside. Another dropkick sends her over the announcers’ table, followed by a running crossbody. Back in and Ali scores with some superkicks into the rolling X Factor for two. Ali loads up the tornado DDT, head fakes Orton as he goes for the RKO counter, and hits the tornado DDT for two in a smart move. The 054 is loaded up but Orton gets to his feet and pulls him off the top, straight into the RKO (in one motion) for the pin at 10:19.

Rating: C. This was looking bad to start but got a lot better down the line. At the same time though, Ali was getting squashed to start and then made a comeback in the end. Ali didn’t win, but at least he got in some offense and had a comeback. Eventually he needs to win a big singles match though or the spark is going to go out.

We look at the replays and come back with Samoa Joe choking Orton out (that felt natural for a change). Ali gets kicked outside for a bonus. Joe goes to leave as Daniel Bryan and Rowan come out for a staredown.

Post break Joe says he’s going to go much further at Elimination Chamber when the night will end with him as champion.

Bryan and Rowan are in the ring for a chat. Daniel gets smart by sucking up to his home state fans, saying they know we need change. Everyone tries to fill their void with one bad food after another and the good people of Washington see that he’s fighting an uphill battle. That’s why he created this new title, which is now a symbol for change. Rowan talks about people who think like them are considered dangerous because of their ideas.

The fans give him the WHAT treatment but Bryan isn’t happy. People try to silence him because he isn’t a corporate champion. He’s the planet’s champion, which is why he’s in the Elimination Chamber, which he shouldn’t be involved in. Bryan knows what it takes to survive the Elimination Chamber and we get a video on the match.

Back in the arena, Bryan says WWE wants to take the title from him and put it back on a leather strap. The people and the planet need him as champion though, and the fans certainly seem to agree. This was fine as Bryan knew he wasn’t going to get booed in his home state and didn’t go hardcore against the fans in a smart move.

Jeff Hardy doesn’t like the idea of Bryan disrespecting the title. AJ Styles comes in and says Jeff’s recent history should keep him from being the guy talking about the title’s legacy. Jeff says the REAL AJ Styles can’t beat the NEW Daniel Bryan. They’ll finish this inside the Chamber.

Carmella/Naomi vs. IIconics vs. Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville

Before the match, Carmella and Naomi promise to be fabulous in winning the titles. The IIconics have worked to get here and the titles would be the icing on the cake. Mandy and Sonya are the real team around here and have been inside the Chamber before. They may now be called Fire and Desire. Mandy bails from Carmella to start so it’s off to Naomi for a sliding lariat to Peyton.

Back from an early break with Carmella in trouble as the IIconics start stomping away in the corner. Mandy comes back in to cut off a crawl over to Naomi and it’s off to an abdominal stretch. That’s broken up as well and it’s back to Naomi, sending Mandy bailing over to the corner. Naomi cleans house and it’s an accidental tag to bring Mandy back in. Peyton has to be beaten up as well, leaving Mandy to hit the sitout Pedigree for the pin on Naomi at 6:15.

Rating: D. Well the Fire and Desire name is dumb, but at least we now have the six teams in the Chamber and the match itself should be entertaining. Mandy beating Naomi advances their own story but it’s not like the blowoff match is going to be in doubt. At least they did something here though and that’s better than I was expecting.

Zelina Vega calls Rey Mysterio a fable and a myth of the past. Last week Andrade destroyed a legend like he needed to do. The legend of Andrade begins with Mysterio’s end.

Video on Martin Luther King Jr. in Birmingham, Alabama for Black History Month.

We recap the opening segment.

Video on Asuka.

Jeff Hardy vs. Daniel Bryan

Non-title. Bryan starts fast and kicks away at the ribs in the corner but gets caught with the swinging clothesline. The running dropkick slows Jeff down though and a second one makes things even worse. We hit the surfboard for a bit before Jeff sends him outside for the clothesline off the steps…but Rowan is waiting on him. The distraction lets Bryan trip him up, sending Jeff into the steps and us to a break.

Back with Bryan working on the arm until Jeff fights back with a dropkick into a legdrop between the legs. The Twist of Fate is broken up with Bryan getting backdropped to the floor instead. There’s the running clothesline from the apron but Bryan is right back with the YES Kicks. The big kick is countered into the Twist of Fate though and the Swanton connects but Rowan pulls Jeff out for the DQ at 10:45.

Rating: C+. This ended earlier than I was expecting but it’s certainly better than having things go really short. Bryan vs. Hardy is certainly a big time match and worthy of a pay per view main event, but there’s only so much you can get out of a ten minute match with a DQ finish.

Post match Bryan grabs the LeBell Lock, drawing in Samoa Joe to post Rowan and choke Bryan out. Cue Orton for the brawl, followed by Mustafa Ali for a suicide dive. Another one to Rowan earns Ali a claw slam onto the announcers’ table. Now it’s AJ Styles, with music, for the slow walk to the ring.

AJ cleans house and points at Bryan for what seems to be the end of the show, even as there are three minutes left. After a few replays, AJ poses and we cut to the back where Bryan rants about doing everything out there because he’s the best. No one is getting this title because he’s going to be WWE Champion forever. It’s what the planet needs!

We cut back to AJ for one more pose as that match must have ended way early.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s not a very good show, but it’s amazing how much better things are with something to build towards. Just having a main event at the pay per view helps a lot, even if the match feels like a stopping point before we get to Wrestlemania. You can’t have both Elimination Chamber and Fastlane as rest stops there though, so having a match like this helps. The rest of the show was hit or miss, but this show was an easy watch and that’s a great distance ahead of where Raw is right now. Oh and where was R-Truth? He wins the US Title and defends it one week but can’t make the show the next?

Results

Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev b. Good Brothers – Machka Kick to Anderson

Randy Orton b. Mustafa Ali – 054

Fire and Desire b. IIconics and Naomi/Carmella – Lifting sitout Pedigree to Naomi

Jeff Hardy b. Daniel Bryan via DQ when Rowan interfered

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2009: Here Comes The Predator

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2009
Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Tazz

This isn’t so much the Royal Rumble as much as it is HHH and Randy Orton are in a match and 28 other guys happen to be in the ring too. Other than that we have Edge challenging the NEW WWE Champion Jeff Hardy and Cena defending against JBL, who has Shawn Michaels and his crisis of conscience working for him at the moment. This wasn’t the best year for WWE so let’s get to it.

No intro video this year. That’s interesting.

ECW Title: Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Swagger won the title about two weeks ago and this is Hardy’s rematch. We actually get big match intros for this, which is a rare sight for an ECW Title match. Matt takes him into the corner to start before punching Jack in the face. Striker calls that a pugilistic endeavor to sound smart. Another punch sends Swagger to the floor and we head back inside for a clothesline from Matt.

Jack heads to the floor to hide after Matt swings again. Back in and Swagger takes Hardy to the mat and cranks on the arm a bit. Hardy comes back with a dropkick in the corner and a bulldog for two, only to go up and get shoved down to the floor. Back in and Swagger starts in on the arm but Hardy quickly escapes a key lock. A punch to Hardy’s arm blocks a clothesline and a big boot gets two for the champion.

Back to the key lock as Jack stays on the arm. He lifts Hardy off the mat by the arm a few times as the fans cheer for the challenger. Matt fights back but he’s basically fighting with one arm here. A bulldog puts Jack down for two and a middle rope elbow to Swagger’s back gets the same.

Hardy walks into a belly to belly suplex from Jack for two though and both guys are down. A DDT on the arm gets two for the champion but Matt blocks a belly to back superplex. Matt hits a decent looking moonsault for two and the fans are getting into these kickouts. The Twist is countered and Jack sends Matt shoulder and possibly head first into the post. The Swagger Bomb retains the title.

Rating: B-. Better match than I was expecting here with both guys looking good out there. Matt was getting close to being something decent as a singles guy and this was his way off ECW and onto Smackdown. Swagger would go on to win a world title and shock the world in the process before falling through the floor soon after. Solid opener here.

Orton arrives and gets glared at.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Melina

Melina is challenging and Beth has Santino with her here. Beth shoves her around to start before easily breaking out of a headlock. A LOUD Santino chant starts up as Beth throws Melina around. Melina comes back with a shot to the head but gets shoved down immediately again. The challenger hooks an armbar of all things but Beth easily stands up while Melina stands on her shoulder.

Melina gets on Beth’s shoulders again but Beth shoves her down in a crash. A running Umaga attack in the corner puts Melina down again and Beth is in full control. In a freaky looking move, Beth grabs Melina’s leg in a kind of ankle lock position and bends the leg forward to make Melina kick herself in the back of the head. FREAKING OW MAN! Melina escapes a gorilla press and fires off some forearms before getting two off a sunset flip. Two knees into Beth’s back have her staggered and a hair drag gets two. Out of nowhere, Melina grabs a spinning rollup for the pin and the title. As sudden as it sounds.

Rating: D+. Not terrible here and the girls looked good so I can’t complain much. That leg lock thing of Beth’s was SICK and it’s one of those moves that just looks painful all around. At the end of the day though, does it matter who has either of the female belts? They’re completely interchangeable and this one was retired the next year.

We recap JBL vs. Cena, which is basically the Shawn Michaels Story. Basically the story went that Shawn was crushed by the financial crash and JBL offered to hire him to help win the title. Shawn helped JBL win a #1 contenders match and the question is will he screw over Cena tonight and compromise his morals? There was a VERY real argument to be made for Shawn vs. JBL at Mania for the title, so this wasn’t a layup. The problem with this story is still there though: Shawn is a world class wrestler with the top company in the world….and he’s broke? He may have lost his savings but he’s not unemployed.

JBL tells Shawn is he wins the title tonight, Shawn is free with a huge payday and he can be in the Rumble tonight, which at the moment he isn’t. Bradshaw leaves and Taker shows up, saying that sometimes it’s a nightmare getting to Heaven.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Cena is defending in case you skipped the previous parts. We get the big match intros here and even a weapons check for old times’ sake. Cena takes him to the mat with a headlock to start but JBL counters into one of his own. A shoulder block puts JBL down and out to the floor as we take a breather. JBL whispers something to Shawn before heading back inside for some clubbing forearms to the back.

Cena slams him down for two though and we’re still in the early stages. JBL heads to the floor again but this time Cena goes after him. He runs into Shawn though and stops cold, allowing JBL to get in a shot to take over. Shawn didn’t move at all. Back in with JBL in control and a standing clothesline gets two. Presumably that one was only from Hoboken.

Off to a chinlock from the challenger as we keep things at JBL’s slow pace. A side slam gets two on Cena and he rolls out to the apron. Layfield knocks him to the floor and then sends him into the stairs for two back inside. Cena fights out of a superplex attempt and hits the top rope Fameasser for two of his own. The champ initiates his finishing sequence with all of his usual stuff including the Shuffle. Shawn hasn’t been a factor in the first nine minutes or so of the match.

JBL escapes the AA but gets caught in the STF instead. Shawn starts grabbing the ropes but doesn’t do anything. Cena lets go of the hold anyway, allowing JBL to kick Cena to the floor. JBL’s Clothesline gets two so he glares at Shawn for some reason. A quick AA attempt misses and JBL kicks the referee down by mistake. The Johns double clothesline each other and it’s time for the big moment.

Shawn gets in the ring and is staring at both guys. Both guys get up and Shawn superkicks John. As in the challenger/him employer. He also kicks the champion/the guy he was hired to take out before leaving. Shawn puts JBL’s arm across Cena, causing the fans to chant for the champ. Another referee comes out and gets a two count for Layfield and both guys get up. Cena hits a quick AA on JBL to retain.

Rating: C-. The match itself was pretty dull but the drama worked well enough to make up for it. At the end of the day, JBL simply wasn’t good enough at this point to hang in a world title match. Cena had to tone it WAY down to let JBL keep up with him and it showed badly. Still though, Shawn more than makes up for it and would go on to have a masterpiece with Taker at Mania so all is well and good.

We recap Edge vs. Hardy. Hardy shocked the world (including me) at Armageddon by winning the title, but a few weeks later he started having a string of “accidents” including having pyro go off in his face and nearly getting killed by a crazy driver. Everyone blamed Edge but he denied responsibility. The question is who is behind all this stuff. Hardy hasn’t had a match that I know of in the meantime. I went to a house show during this period and Hardy didn’t wrestle.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Vickie makes it No DQ for no apparent reason and Chavo is in Edge’s corner because he’s familia. Jeff spears Edge into the corner to start and pounds away as fast as he can. The fans almost immediately start chanting WE WANT CHRISTIAN. Now remember that line as I’ll get back to it later on. Christian had left TNA and word hadn’t broken yet on if he had signed with WWE yet (I don’t think). Anyway, Jeff tries to bring in a chair but Edge kicks it out of his hands before it gets inside.

Hardy pounds away but Edge gets in a shot to take over for the first time. Edge sends him to the floor but can’t hit a baseball slide, allowing Hardy to hit a clothesline off the apron. Back in and Jeff tries a springboard but gets kicked down to the floor for the third time. Edge rams him into various hard objects including tables and the barricade and then another table.

We head back inside again with Edge in full control including a spear in the corner. Jeff grabs a quick two off a sunset flip but gets clotheslined right back down. Off to a body vice by Edge to slow things down a bit. Jeff fights up and hits a mule kick before going up top, only to jump into a dropkick from Edge for two. Now Edge goes to get two chairs but Jeff spears him down off the apron before it can be brought in.

Edge gets back to the apron but gets pulled down into a Twist of Fate onto said apron, sending both guys down onto the floor. Since it’s Jeff vs. Edge, here’s a ladder. Jeff spreads Edge out on the table but Chavo climbs up to slow Jeff down. Edge moves, so Jeff hits a HUGE splash to put Chavo through the table instead. Back in and Jeff gets two off a high cross body. Edge gets up first and pulls a buckle off, only to get caught in the Whisper in the Wind for two.

Out of nowhere Edge counters the Twist into a DDT for a very close two. We’re pretty clearly in the final stages of this match which means it’s getting awesome. Edge counters the slingshot dropkick into a kind of hot shot into the exposed buckle for ANOTHER two. The spear is countered into a Twist of Fate so Jeff goes up. After kicking Vickie away, the Swanton hits but Vickie pulls the referee out. Cue Matt to send Vickie into the ring and pick up a chair. To the shock of a lot of people, Matt cracks Jeff with the chair to give Edge of all people the world title.

Rating: B. This too awhile to get going but once they hit their stride they started acting like Edge and Jeff Hardy in a big match. The No DQ stuff wasn’t needed here but it made things work a bit better. At the end of the day, these two work best when they can turn off the rules and go nuts, which is what they did here.

Now remember earlier that I mentioned Christian. He was originally supposed to be in Matt’s spot, setting up a reunion with Edge. However, WWE felt the fans figured this out so we got Matt in his place. This also happened in 2012 with Sheamus winning the Rumble instead of Jericho. Based on this theory, Shawn should have kept the title at Wrestlemania 14 because almost everyone knew that Austin was winning.

That makes no sense and I don’t get what they think this is accomplishing. It didn’t work out well for Russo and it won’t work out for the WWE. Matt vs. Jeff didn’t work at the end of the day, mainly because I don’t think people wanted to see them fight. I’ll give them this: they did come up with a logical reason for Matt to turn so it’s not a terrible idea. It just wasn’t the best option they had.

Orton says he’ll win. Jericho pops in to thank Orton for punting Vince on Monday but Randy will probably get fired for it.

Rumble by the numbers which is roughly the same as the previous year.

Royal Rumble

Mysterio is #1 and Morrison is #2. Rey kicks him in the face a few times to start but gets put on the apron for trying his sitout bulldog. A springboard cross body puts Morrison down and there’s a big headscissors to take Morrison down. John gets sent to the apron but hangs on by the top rope, even when Mysterio dropkicks him in the ribs. Carlito is #3 and is the second tag champion in here along with Morrison. Those titles would be unified at Mania.

Rey tries a standing moonsault but gets caught in a modified swinging neckbreaker instead. Carlito hits a gorgeous double jump moonsault to take Morrison down and stomping ensues. MVP, currently on a winning streak after losing forever, is #4. There’s Ballin on Morrison and a facebuster to Carlito. Rey get sent to the apron but he saves himself almost immediately.

Great Khali with the awesome dance music is #5. Everybody gets a chop and Khali poses a bit. Mysterio tries to springboard onto him and Carlito tries a Backstabber, both to no avail. Kozlov is #6 and immediately headbutts Khali out by himself. MVP misses a running kick in the corner and he’s gone too (BIG heat on Vlad for that). Carlito is gone after jumping into a spinebuster and Mysterio looks to be up next, but heeeeeeeeeere’s HHH at #7.

Since no one else can get a good match out of Kozlov, you know HHH is going to try his hand at him. They stare each other down and Kozlov hits the headbutt to take him down. The facebuster stuns Kozlov and HHH throws him out wise ease. It’s HHH, Morrison and Mysterio in there at the moment with Rey chilling in the corner. The knee to the face puts Morrison down and Orton is #8.

The battle of Evolution continues and the backbreaker puts HHH down. Both finishers are countered with Morrison breaking up the Pedigree. Rey hits a seated senton on Orton and the 619 on Morrison before JTG is in at #9. Orton tries to put Mysterio out as people start pairing off. Ted DiBiase, as in one of Orton’s lackeys, is #10. Mysterio and DiBiase immediately fight to the apron with Rey doing some gymnastics to stay alive.

Jericho is #11 and goes right for Orton. He can’t get him out so there’s a Lionsault to HHH instead. Jericho is knocked to the apron and Mike Knox is #12. Orton and DiBiase focus on JTG as Knox beats on Rey. HHH saves the masked dude for no apparent reason and Miz is #13. He goes right after JTG and hits something like the Skull Crushing Finale before going after the Game.

Morrison and Mysterio team up on Orton but John and Miz both take RKOs. There’s one for JTG but HHH hits a Pedigree to stop Randy dead. HHH dumps Miz and Morrison to prove how awesome he is and Finlay is #14. Jericho backdrops Mysterio to the floor but he lands on Morrison and hops onto Miz to get back to the ring. Finlay beats on everyone in the ring until Cody Rhodes, the other of Orton’s goons, is #15.

We currently have Mysterio, HHH, Orton, JTG, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay and Rhodes. Legacy (the collective name of the trio) starts picking off people one at a time, starting with Finlay. They don’t actually put anyone out but they get to beat on everyone at least. Rey dives at Orton but gets caught in an RKO in a nice counter. The Undertaker is #16 and here come the punches. His only victim at this point is JTG to clear the ring out a bit.

Goldust of all people is in at #17 and immediately goes for DiBiase. Rhodes pulls his real life brother (Goldust) off so Goldie sends him to the apron a few times. That’s as far as he can get though as an RKO puts Goldust down and Rhodes gets to dump him out. Punk is #18 and happens to be the IC Champion at this point. There’s a GTS for HHH as RKO works on Y2J. Mysterio gets sent to the apron by Knox and Finlay works on Taker.

Mark Henry is #19 and throws a lot of people around but can’t get anybody out. Shelton Benjamin is #20 to fill the ring up even more. Jericho and Punk go up top for no apparent reason other than for Shelton to charge the corner and hit a kind of double DDT to bring them both back down. Billy Regal is #21 and goes right for Punk, who beat him for the IC Title a week or so again.

Mysterio dumps Henry off camera to thankfully get someone out of the ring. HHH is upside down in the corner but he winds up sitting on the apron. Here’s Kofi at #22 to speed things up as well as he can with so many people around him. Taker dumps Benjamin and Kane is #23. After beating up a few people he stares his brother down before they start working together to chokeslam some people.

Punk pulls Regal out and brags about it without getting thrown out. R-Truth is #24 and nothing happens. Rob Van Dam makes a one night only return at #25 after not having been seen in the WWE in about a year and a half. That at least wakes the crowd up but there are too many people in there for his style of stuff to work. He loads up the Five Star but Truth is too close so he has to bail out in mid air.

The Brian Kendrick is #26 back when he was actually a big deal. To show how big he is, he manages to dump Kofi and get thrown out by HHH in about fifteen seconds. Dolph Ziggler gets lucky #27 but only lasts about six seconds longer than Kendrick with Kane getting the point. Your future World Heavyweight Champion ladies and gentlemen. Santino is #28 and breaks Warlord’s record of two seconds in the Rumble by being clotheslined out by Kane before he can even stand up straight.

Jim Duggan makes his token Rumble appearance at #29 and he punches everything in sight, including knocking the Dead Man down. Big Show is #30, giving us a final group of Mysterio, HHH, Orton, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Undertaker, Punk, Kane, R-Truth, RVD, Duggan and Big Show, or half the field in the entire match. Nearly everyone goes after him at once but it’s Duggan that gets tossed instead.

Jericho tries to put a sleeper on Show but it gets about as far as you would expect. Taker throws Punk to the apron as Show dumps Truth. Punk fires off some kicks and hangs on three times so Show finally knocks him out cold and out to the floor. Show knocks out Knox and Mysterio as Horny gets in for no apparent reason. Finlay tries to save him and gets dumped for his efforts at good parenting.

Jericho hits a Codebreaker on Kane and Orton hits the Elevated DDT on HHH. Taker and Show have their required staredown and RVD hits the Five Star on Orton. Jericho comes up behind Van Dam to dump him while Rob holds his ribs. That’s his last WWE appearance to date. Chris turns around and sees Taker who tosses him with glee. Legacy teams up to put Kane out and we’re down to Taker, Big Show, HHH and Legacy.

The trio surrounds Undertaker as HHH gets chokeslammed. Taker does the same to most of Legacy so the giants punch each other a lot until Show gets knocked to the apron and hangs on with his feet flying off the apron. THAT was cool. Not that it matters anyway as he gets RKO’ed out a few moments later but it still looked good. Show pulls Taker to the floor a minute later because that’s how he rolls.

So as people expected at the time, it’s HHH vs. Legacy for the Rumble. Taker and Show fight into the crowd for no apparent reason. HHH goes after Rhodes first but the numbers catch up with him. He gets beaten down and Orton says pick him up. The RKO is countered though and HHH sends Orton to the apron. There goes DiBiase and Rhodes follows, but Orton sneaks up on HHH and throws him out to win the Rumble.

Rating: D. This was one of the weaker Rumbles there’s ever been. For one thing, it was clear that Orton was going to win no matter what happened. Second and probably more important, they got caught in the classic Rumble trap of having WAY too many people in there at once. They didn’t even try the three act structure here and it showed badly. That’s something Pat Patterson was absolutely amazing at and he was gone by this point.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s clear that the company was in a transitional period here and that makes this a hard one to get through. There’s enough good stuff here to check it out, but it’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. The only really solid match is Edge vs. Hardy and even that is nothing really worth seeing. This is a rare instance where the Rumble didn’t dictate how the show went as the rest of it is a far easier sit than the Rumble itself.

Ratings Comparison

Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Original: B

Redo: B-

Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Original: C-

Redo: D+

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: C

Redo: C-

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: C-

So let me get this straight: every match is literally within a single grade of the original but the original is nearly two grades higher? Dang I was REALLY feeling generous that day. A show with an hour long match that gets a D doesn’t sound like a B+ overall to me.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/28/royal-rumble-count-up-2009-the-voices-tell-me-no-one-but-orton-has-a-chance/

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2008 (2019 Redo): Gotcha

IMG Credit: WWE

Royal Rumble 2008
Date: January 27, 2008
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City New York
Attendance: 20,798
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

This was the other request so let’s throw up a triple shot this year. The big story here is Jeff Hardy challenging Randy Orton for the Raw World Title. This was set up incredibly well with Hardy being set up as the ultimate underdog who might be able to pull off the miracle. The fans believe in him and it’s an absolutely incredible build that had me dying to see what they did. Let’s get to it.

The opening video features a bunch of wrestlers getting on a subway before going into a history of the Rumble. This year’s show gets some time as well and we cut to a fight in the subway, because wrestlers are going to wrestle.

I love the MSG setup with the entrance opposite the hard camera. It’s the only major arena to do that and it feels special.

Ric Flair vs. MVP

MVP’s US Title isn’t on the line. This was during the “if Flair loses he retires” period and MVP wanted to take him out for good, as did so many others. Before the match, Flair talks about how important this arena is and how he first wrestled here in March 1976. MVP’s entrance cuts off a rather nice speech because MVP is a rather good jerk. MVP easily takes him down and strikes a pose but Flair just WOOs at him.

Back up and Flair takes him into the corner for the chops and punches, including a big chop to put MVP down. That’s about it for the offense though as MVP kicks him in the face and gets two off a neckbreaker. Cole says he’s sure that there are fans here who were here for Flair’s first match. Really? A fan who is there for two shows 32 years apart? That’s a bit of a stretch, but Cole never was all that logical. Flair comes back with a quick Figure Four attempt but gets small packaged for two instead.

Another running boot in the corner (Helluva Kick) gives MVP three….with Flair’s foot on the rope. You know Little Naitch is thrilled to be able to say Flair gets to keep going. A superplex gives MVP two more but Flair gets in a clothesline out of the corner for a breather. Flair grabs a rollup and backslide for two each and it’s time for stylin and profilin. The Playmaker is countered into the Figure Four and MVP taps out clean.

Rating: C. Perfectly watchable match here and I can even forgive the US Champion doing a clean job for the sake of what is likely Flair’s last match in the Garden. I didn’t care for this whole story at first but it’s grown on me a bit over time. Flair deserves this kind of goodbye and his matches were still perfectly watchable at this point. Not too bad here, and a great feel good moment to ope the show.

Flair gets the big standing ovation that you knew was coming.

Hornswoggle, Vince McMahon’s son at this point in a story that is still so bizarre and gets worse every time, is in Vince’s office. Vince gives him a history of the McMahon Family in the Garden. Tonight it’s every man for himself and you can’t even trust your own family. Finlay comes in and Hornswoggle is rather happy to see him. Vince tells Finlay not to trust Hornswoggle, who jumps into Finlay’s arms as they leave. I’m still not sure if they know how old Hornswoggle is supposed to be here. That was never quite clear.

We meet new correspondent Mike Adamle, who actually doesn’t screw anything up! Yet.

We recap JBL vs. Chris Jericho. JBL had been doing commentary on Jericho’s World Title shot and got knocked down so he cost Jericho the match. The feud ensued with JBL even yelling about Jericho’s family. It’s time for the fight as Jericho continues to try to click in his return.

Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Ah the days of a ton of pyro for a midcard match entrance. They shove each other around to start with JBL hiding in the corner and the ropes. The second break is enough for JBL to get in a few right hands so Jericho takes him down for some of his own. The early Walls are broken up by a grab of the rope and JBL drops him throat first (the throat/neck that was damaged in the buildup) onto the top rope.

A standing Clothesline From JBL gets two and he catapults the throat into the middle rope to make it even worse. We hit the sleeper to stay on Jericho’s neck until Jericho slips out and hits a clothesline of his own. JBL is fine enough to send him shoulder first into the post and Jericho is busted open. Back in and JBL stomps away as the blood is starting to flow. They fight to the floor again and Jericho BLASTS him with a chair to the head for the DQ. Kind of a sudden finish but that sounded amazing.

Rating: D+. This really didn’t work as JBL can’t do much and Jericho didn’t exactly do much other than throw punches. Jericho is already in need of a heel turn as the face push isn’t exactly working. Maybe it’s the lack of hair or just rust but it’s not exactly clicking here. Then again Jericho is known for being able to change things up at the drop of a hat so I’m sure he’ll be fine.

Post match Jericho beats the heck out of JBL and chokes him with the television cable.

Ashley Massaro tries to go see Maria but boyfriend Santino cuts her off. See, Maria is NOT interested in posing for Playboy, though the magazine had probably already been shot by this point. For the sake of modesty, we’ll move on.

We recap Edge vs. Rey Mysterio. Edge has used his relationship with Vickie Guerrero to become World Heavyweight Champion but Mysterio won a Beat the Clock Challenge (with the help of Batista and Undertaker) by pinning Edge on Smackdown. This earned Rey some beatings from Edge and the Edgeheads (Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder), because you have to have some lackeys.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Edge is defending and has Vickie (in a wheelchair) and the Edgeheads out here with him. The fans actually boo Mysterio a bit and cheer loudly for Edge. Feeling out process to start with Edge slipping out of the corner to continue the staredown. Rey takes him down and gets two off a basement dropkick as the fans are relentless with the booing. Back up and Edge sends him outside for the quick beating from the Edgeheads. For once the referee isn’t an idiot and ejects him, allowing Rey to get two off a springboard seated senton.

Edge takes out the knee though in a smart move and Mysterio is right back in trouble. A kneeling half crab stays on the knee but Rey fights up and scores with an enziguri. The bad knee means the 619 is very slow though and Edge grabs a powerslam for two. Something close to an ankle lock keeps the leg in trouble and now it’s time to get series as Edge loosens the knee brace. That’s enough to wake Rey up for the sitout bulldog and another kick to the head (with the good leg) gets two.

Rey changes things up a bit with a top rope double stomp for two, followed by a hurricanrana to send Edge outside. The slide into the tornado DDT has Edge in even more trouble but he kicks Rey in the head to get a breather. Mysterio is right back with a drop toehold into the 619, which draws Vickie out of the wheelchair. The distraction means Rey has to hit another 619 so Vickie jumps up to take the blow. That’s enough for Edge to get up and spear a springboarding Rey out of the air for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. This was good, though it never got up to the level you would expect from these two. Edge retaining is far from a surprise and the ending worked really well, with Vickie showing her love for Edge, who likely doesn’t care because it’s all about the title. That spear out of the air was awesome too, meaning this was perfectly fine for a Royal Rumble title defense.

Mr. Kennedy gives Flair, in a towel, a slow clap and sounds like he wants to face Flair next but here’s Shawn Michaels to get rid of him. Shawn says a loud mouthed bleach blonde guy will never work as a gimmick today and Flair seems pleased. Batista and HHH come in with HHH telling Flair to put his pants on. Tensions are teased over who will win the Royal Rumble so Shawn turns it into a merch plug.

Here’s Maria for the Kiss Cam, which totally feels in place at the Royal Rumble. This is the excuse to bring out Ashley to ask about the Playboy shoot again. Cue Santino with someone under a blanket to say stop it. There will be no Playboy because no one wants to see Maria with no clothes on.

We hit the cheap New York sports teams suck heat and, after a LET’S GO GIANTS chant, the fans seem interested in having Maria in the magazine. Santino: “They would cheer for hepatitis if you asked them to!” Santino brings in the blanketed person and of course it’s Big Dick Johnson in Patriots (Giants opponent in next week’s Super Bowl) gear for some dancing. Ashley beats him up to conclude our comedy.

Wrestlemania ad with a Baywatch theme. Believe it or not, Kelly Kelly fits this perfectly.

Adamle throws us to the recap video for Randy Orton vs Jeff “Harvey” in a fairly infamous botch.

So this is the biggest match on the show, even bigger than the Royal Rumble. Apparently the buys went WAY up as a result of Hardy getting the shot and it’s one of the best builds I’ve ever seen. You might remember me saying that Mysterio was the challenger that had no chance of winning. Well Jeff is the polar opposite, as WWE has done a masterful job at making you believe that Hardy could win.

The idea is that Orton is the perfect wrestler but Hardy is willing to do anything to win and could actually pull it off. This included one dive after another to Orton and sweet goodness did they ever work. I COMPLETELY bought Jeff as a real challenger and a lot of other people did too. It didn’t make sense, but WWE managed to create something where you believed the impossible could happen and it was amazing. I still love the build to this and it’s one of the handful of best jobs I’ve ever seen them do.

Raw World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending and Jeff’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line. Dang I miss Burn In My Light as Orton’s theme. The fans are behind Hardy for the early lockup exchange and Jeff takes him down with a headlock. The legdrop between the legs into the basement dropkick gives Jeff two but Orton is right back with some forearms to the back. Orton to the crowd: “WHO’S YOUR BOY NOW???”

Jeff clotheslines him right back down and hits a heck of a dropkick through the ropes, leaving Orton’s head a bit crooked against the barricade. The first big dive takes Orton down and the fans believe it all over again. Back in and Orton hits a big dropkick to break up a springboard, which you had to know was coming sooner or later. There’s a suplex on the floor to give Orton two and it’s time to slowly stomp away. Back up and Jeff sends him over the top for a clothesline from the apron. Jeff takes him back inside but gets sent into the post, allowing Orton to throw on a chinlock.

Since it’s a big match though, he adds a grapevine for a bonus. The powerslam gives Orton two and we hit the chinlock for the second time in a minute. Jeff fights up again and hits the Whisper in the Wind, followed by the slingshot dropkick in the corner. It’s too early for the Swanton so Jeff settles for a missile dropkick to knock him off the apron instead. Jeff’s moonsault to the floor barely makes contact and they’re both down. Back in and Jeff tries the Twist of Fate but gets countered into the RKO for the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. It was good, but without a title change (which didn’t need to happen yet) there was no way they could live up to the hype that had been built. Hardy got in some dives but there was only so much you can do when you’re not winning the title. They NAILED the build and the match itself was fine, but it was a little deflating. Jeff certainly moved up a few levels though and that’s what matters most.

Jeff gets the standing ovation, but it’s not the strongest in the world.

Rumble By The Numbers:

21 Winners

569 Wrestlers Eliminated

36 Eliminations for Steve Austin, the most ever

11 Royal Rumbles for Shawn Michaels, the most ever

11 Eliminations for Kane, the most in one match

10 Consecutive Royal Rumbles for Kane

3 Times Mick Foley entered in 1998

2 Feet that need to hit the ground for an elimination

1 Woman to have entered, with Chyna

62:12 for Rey Mysterio in 2006, the most ever

:02 For Warlord in 1990, the least ever

3 Wins for Steve Austin, the most ever

#1 Spot, which has produced more winners than #30

1 Winner from #30, the Undertaker in 2007

4 Winners from #27, the most of all time

73% Success rate for winners at Wrestlemania

1 Road to Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

Michael Buffer of all people gets to do the intro, which is a very WCW thing to do, though that voice is hard to turn down. There are ninety second intervals this year so things are going to be moving. Undertaker is in at #1 and Shawn Michaels is in at #2, with Buffer just calling him the Heartbreak Kid and never mentioning his name. Shawn (or Heartbreak) chops away in the corner to start but gets grabbed by the throat and sent into the corner for his efforts. Undertaker misses a running boot though and gets sent out to the apron. He’s fine enough to grab Shawn by the throat and hit a big boot as Santino Marella is in at #3.

Death comes quickly as Shawn superkicks him and Undertaker gets the elimination in less than thirty seconds. Shawn goes to throw Undertaker out and that’s just not bright. Old School is broken up with a pull off the top but Undertaker hits a chokeslam as Great Khali is in at #4. The fans immediately start the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants as Undertaker and Khali slug it out. The big chop is blocked though and Undertaker throws him out to get us back down to two. Hardcore Holly is in at #5 and might have some more staying power.

Undertaker and Shawn take turns knocking him down until Holly gets in a cheap shot on Undertaker to knock him into the ropes. Shawn and Holly chop it out in the corner until John Morrison is in at #6. As Coach talks about Morrison and Miz spending all night partying, Shawn throws Morrison off the top and hits the top rope elbow. It’s too early for Sweet Chin Music and Tommy Dreamer is in at #7, because WE NEED TOMMY DREAMER!!!

The traditional brawling around the ring begins with Dreamer pretending he has a chance to eliminate Undertaker. Batista is in at #8 and that keeps the crowd going even more. That gives us the big showdown with Undertaker but Dreamer (OF COURSE) breaks it up, thankfully getting eliminated. Batista spears Morrison but gets punched down in the corner by Undertaker.

Hornswoggle is in at #9 and immediately hides underneath the ring. Another spear takes Undertaker down and the brawling continues. Angry biker Chuck Palumbo is in at #10, giving us Undertaker, Shawn, Holly, Morrison, Batista, Hornswoggle and Palumbo. Morrison pulls himself back in from the apron as we get to the standard operating procedure of people trying to save themselves on the ropes. Jamie Noble, currently feuding with Palumbo and rather banged up, is in at #11 and slugs it out with Palumbo.

That’s good for an elimination in about thirty seconds to keep the ring from getting too full. CM Punk is in at #12 and you know the fans are going to be into him. A bunch of running knees have Punk on a roll and he throws Palumbo out. Cody Rhodes is in at #13 and a grand total of nothing happens. Well unless you count basic brawling and no one being close to an elimination. Umaga is in at #14 and knocks Holly out in a hurry to keep things balanced.

Snitsky is in at #15 (He was still around in 2008?) and the Big Bald starts cleaning house. Cody takes him to the apron but Punk can’t shove either of them out. As Cole says Morrison is like a young Shawn Michaels, Morrison’s partner Miz is in at #16. Undertaker puts Umaga on the apron but can’t stomp him out as Shelton Benjamin is in at #17. The jump to the top lets him knock Miz and Morrison to the apron, followed by Paydirt to Morrison.

That’s enough from Shelton though as Sweet Chin Music is good for an elimination. Well that works. I loved the original Shelton run but he never recovered from that Gold Standard nonsense. Jimmy Snuka of all people is in at #18 and the fans literally get to their feet for that one. Undertaker tries a headbutt and hurts himself in a little payback from Wrestlemania VII. The old man abuse stops….and Roddy Piper is in at #19 to blow away Snuka’s pop.

Piper and Snuka have the big showdown in slow motion (thankfully with Piper in shorts instead of trunks) and everyone stops to watch the fight. Things settle back down until Kane is in at #20 to get rid of Piper and Snuka, leaving us with Undertaker, Michaels, Morrison, Batista, Hornswoggle (still under the ring), Punk, Rhodes, Umaga, Snitsky, Miz and Kane. Undertaker loads up a chokeslam on Kane but goes after Michaels instead, with Kane making the save for some reason.

Carlito is in at #21 and spits the apple at Cody as there are too many people who have been around too long. A nice backflip gets Carlito out of trouble and it’s Mick Foley in at #22 to a very long and positive reaction. Batista takes the Last Ride and Foley hits a double arm DDT on Kane. There’s a Samoan drop from Umaga to Undertaker as the ring is way too full. Mr. Kennedy is in at #23 to make it even worse but Undertaker takes him down with a chokeslam. A lot of people are down as Undertaker starts hitting his running clotheslines in the corner.

Undertaker gets rid of Snitsky but walks into Sweet Chin Music for the big surprise elimination. Kennedy gets rid of Shawn immediately thereafter, all while Big Daddy V is in at #24. Undertaker beats up Snitsky to blow off some steam before leaving. We get some near eliminations with Cody and Kennedy fighting to the apron and Mark Henry is in at #25. Hornswoggle returns from the dead and pulls Miz out before heading right back underneath the ring. As Snitsky finally gets up to leave, V can’t get rid of Morrison or Kennedy. Chavo Guerrero is in at #26 and Kane kicks Morrison out.

Henry pulls the returning Hornswoggle inside so here’s Finlay to jump the gun at #27 to swing the shillelagh. He and Hornswoggle leave, with the explanation being that Finlay was disqualified for using the club and Hornswoggle was, uh, short? Finlay holds Hornswoggle’s hand on the way out, again acting like he’s about five. Elijah Burke is in at #28 and MY GOODNESS get rid of some people already. The Samoan Spike sends Batista underneath the ropes and outside for a breather.

Chavo gets rid of Punk and it’s HHH at #29 to hopefully eliminate half the field. Cody, Big Daddy V, Foley (nice slugout first) and Burke are all gone to make things way better. Umaga gets sent head first into the post and Pedigreed….and JOHN CENA is in at #30 to one of the all time great pops.

See, Cena had torn his pectoral muscle back in October and the word was he was going to miss Wrestlemania, if not the following Summerslam. WWE had this wild idea for Cena: use a combination of Cena’s uncanny ability to heal and recover in a crazy hurry and, of course, LIE. This is one of the best shocking returns ever because Cena had been completely written off for at least the next six months. The fans, as in the MSG fans, are STUNNED and pop the roof off the place before realizing that it’s Cena and they’re supposed to boo at him.

Cena starts cleaning house and gets rid of Carlito, Chavo and Henry to get us down to Cena, HHH, Umaga, Kane, Batista and Kennedy. We get the big showdown with Cena and HHH as the right hands start fast. HHH hits a spinebuster but walks into an uppercut from Umaga. Kane and Kennedy are dispatched in a hurry and it’s HHH and Batista teaming up to toss Umaga. That leaves us with three, which is a heck of a triple threat. Batista gives both of them the thumbs down and the fight is on with a double clothesline putting HHH and Cena down.

There’s the big spinebuster to both of them but Cena counters the Batista Bomb. A clothesline gets rid of Batista and we’re down to the major showdown, which the fans certainly enjoy. That means POINTING AT THE SIGN (take that Ronda) and they slug it out with the fans being behind Cena. HHH gets caught with Cena’s usual but it’s a double clothesline for the double knockdown. A DDT takes Cena down again but he counters another Pedigree attempt into the AA over the top for the win.

Rating: C+. This was a bumpy road as they didn’t pace things well, meaning the match was way too full for far too long. They had a nice balance of legends and modern stars though with those three New York pops being very well done. It’s not a great match or anything, but what we got worked.

Now, with that out of the way, this is ALL about Cena’s return with nothing else coming close. That’s the kind of ovation and reaction you only get once in a long time and my goodness did it work here. Cena being back changed everything and it was a great moment all around. Just watching that crowd of smarks lose their minds because they were actually surprised is an all time favorite of mine and it still works eleven years later.

Overall Rating: C. Kind of an awkward show as the whole big moment at the end doesn’t exactly make up for everything else. Now that being said, there’s nothing too bad or even bad at all, but nothing that stands out either. The Hardy vs. Orton match was all hype but still entertaining, while I’m already having trouble remembering the rest of the card. Cena’s return stole everything and that’s fine, as it wasn’t really a great show to start.

Ratings Comparison

Ric Flair vs. MVP

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: C

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Jericho

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D+

Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: B

Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: B-

Royal Rumble

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C+

2018 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: C

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/27/royal-rumble-count-up-2008-screw-wwes-list-this-is-the-1-rumble-moment/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/22/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2008-the-biggest-surprise-in-rumble-history/

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Mixed Match Challenge – December 4, 2018: …..Oh Dang It That’s Where They’re Going

IMG Credit: WWE

Mixed Match Challenge
Date: December 4, 2018
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Renee Young, Vic Joseph

We have two shows left around here and that’s best for everyone involved. Tonight we have the Smackdown semifinals with the one loser team against the three good teams, meaning we might be in for another lame show but maybe one of the matches can be pretty good. That was the case last week and hopefully the blue people can do it just as well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

AJ Styles is carried out.

Smackdown Division Semifinals: R-Truth/Carmella vs. Charlotte/Jeff Hardy

The men start things off and, after some headlocks, a quick dance off breaks out. This is completely different than the dance break that is coming in the next few moments of course. The women come in and Carmella’s kick to the ribs is blocked, meaning it’s time for the hard chops. Carmella dances away and thankfully gets taken down by the leg. Everything breaks down and Charlotte/Hardy are sent outside, meaning DANCE BREAK.

It’s a short form one and as they’re annoyed at the lack of dancing, Hardy and Charlotte come back in to jump them both. Charlotte’s Figure Four neck rolls look to set up the moonsault but Carmella pulls her off the top. It’s back to the men with a double tag, even though that’s twice as much as necessary. The women fight to the floor, leaving Jeff to set up the Swanton. Carmella dives back in to protect Truth until Charlotte pulls her outside. That’s enough for Jeff to miss the Swanton and Truth gets the rollup pin at 6:41.

Rating: D. This was a nothing match with the big story being WHEN WILL THEY DANCE. I get why they put Carmella and Truth through here as Charlotte is already booked for TLC and Hardy will likely have a match with Joe so there’s no reason to pretend that they’re going to win in next week’s finals. Truth and Carmella are popular enough at the moment, but…..wait…..dang it. We’ll come back to this in a minute.

Alicia Fox and Jinder Mahal promise to win next week.

Finn Balor and Bayley promise to win next week.

R-Truth and Carmella are proud of their win and Truth wants to go to Memphis, Egypt on their vacation.

Smackdown Division Semifinals: Jimmy Uso/Naomi vs. The Miz/Asuka

The women start things off and a hip thrust knocks Asuka away for a bit. Naomi’s kick to the head is countered into a quickly broken ankle lock so it’s off to Miz vs. Jimmy. Some armdrags have Miz in trouble but he’s right back with a running dropkick in the corner. Jimmy doesn’t seem to mind and dances a bit before hitting an uppercut. The Samoan drop has Miz in trouble and the running hip attack makes things even worse.

Miz crotches him on top though and we hit the chinlock. The short DDT gives Miz two and it’s off to a front facelock but Miz yells at Asuka for costing them the last match. Well that’s rather mean. Jimmy shoves him away and makes the hot tag to Naomi so the pace can pick up. A springboard kick to the face gives Naomi two and the guys fight to the floor. Naomi hits the Rear view for two but gets pulled into the Asuka Lock for the tap at 8:52.

Rating: C-. This was one of the better matches of the season, but it also gives away the ending of next week’s Smackdown match, which was what I was dreading earlier. We’re going to get Truth and Carmella knocking off Miz and Asuka because Asuka is busy in what should be the main event of TLC. But hey, at least we get a pay per view dance break now.

Overall Rating: D+. I can’t wait for next week’s final because even at half an hour a week, this show has become a complete chore. I’m not completely sure how the ending goes at TLC, but given who is likely to be in the match I can’t imagine it’s going to be interesting in the first place. The idea of having the finals at TLC in the first place was good, but potentially having the lamest teams involved is defeating the purpose. Another bad show this week, but at least it’s almost done.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Mixed Match Challenge – November 13, 2018: Playoffs? We’re Talking About Playoffs?

IMG Credit: WWE

Mixed Match Challenge
Date: November 13, 2018
Location: Enterprise Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Renee Young, Vic Joseph

Things have suddenly gotten more interesting around here as the winners of the tournament now get to be #30 in the Royal Rumbles. That means a lot more to WWE than what was on the line last season (though that was really cool too) and it opens a lot of doors around here. Tonight it’s all about the undefeated teams and that could make for something very interesting. Well as interesting as it gets around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Since Daniel Bryan might have crushed his skull, AJ Styles won’t be competing tonight. There is a replacement though.

We open with Bryan leaving the arena, which is quite the moment.

Raw Division: Mickie James/Bobby Lashley (3-0) vs. Braun Strowman/Ember Moon (3-0)

The women start things off with Mickie flipping her down but Moon popping to her feet for a standoff. A battle over a backslide somehow turns into an abdominal stretch on Ember. With that going on, we cut to Paige telling Charlotte that she has a replacement. So Paige now has authority on this show too? Back with Moon escaping and bringing in the men.

Lashley isn’t worried and gets shoved into the corner with Strowman brushing off his shoulder. A boot to the chest takes Lashley down and Strowman picks him up for a release gordbuster. The hot tag goes through but Rush offers a distraction, meaning it’s time for Strowman to give chase, which is quite the visual. Strowman shoulders Lashley down, leaving Moon to superkick James. The Eclipse gives Ember the pin at 5:45.

Rating: C-. The Strowman vs. Lashley showdown was cool but I don’t know how much doubt there was about the winners here. Strowman is clearly a huge star and virtually unbeatable so pushing him towards the win, and the #30 spot, isn’t that hard to picture. Also, it’s not like James taking the fall is that big of a deal.

The announcers say even the teams with no wins can make the playoffs. Wait there are playoffs? They also talk about the prize, which is a big help.

Bobby Roode and Natalya are ready to beat Jinder Mahal and Alicia Fox.

Jinder Mahal and Alicia Fox are ready to beat Bobby Roode and Natalya.

Smackdown Division: Charlotte/Jeff Hardy (3-0) vs. Miz/Asuka (3-0)

Miz and Hardy lock up to start with Miz making fun of the DELETE chant. That earns him some rapid fire rams into the buckle so we’ll go back to Wrestlemania with Asuka vs. Charlotte. Asuka takes her down by the arm but it’s way too early for the Asuka Lock. Instead Charlotte drops down with Asuka diving over her for a standoff. Charlotte kicks Miz off the apron, only to get taken down by the hip attack. Back in and we hit the armbar as R-Truth and Carmella are in the comments.

Asuka misses the running knee and gets rolled up for two before it’s back to the men. Jeff gets two off a quick rollup and the Whisper in the Wind is good for the same. The Twist of Fate is countered into the DDT for two with Charlotte making the save. Asuka kicks Charlotte down and backfists Hardy for two more. It’s legally back to Asuka, who joins Miz for some YES Kicks. Miz’s big one is countered into the Twist of Fate and Charlotte spears Asuka down. The Figure Eight makes Asuka tap at 9:15.

Rating: B-. You can tell when the teams are that much better than everyone else and this is a great example of what you can do with some extra time. Asuka tapping doesn’t even feel important anymore, though it makes sense to have Charlotte get the big win as she’s going into the showdown against Rousey.

Rusev and Lana are ready to win and advance to the playoffs.

Carmella and R-Truth are ready to win and advance to the playoffs.

Overall Rating: C. Well the battles of the undefeateds didn’t quite happen in full but what we had was good enough. I’m assuming we’ll be moving on to the top four teams from each side going into a single elimination playoff, which makes the regular season mean very little but other than the prize, it’s not like the show means much in the first place. Anyway, it’s nice to see that things are wrapping up because it really can’t come soon enough around here. At least we had one pretty good show around here though, which is more than has been the case this season.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

You Have To Be Able To Rank Things

Time for another question about some tag teams going out of their element.

Speaking of Edge

How would you rank Edge & Christian, The Hardys and The Dudleys singles careers?

I know Devon’s bottom but there could definitely be an arguement Jeff had a better overall career than Edge.

This one might surprise you a bit.

1. Edge. You just can’t argue against that many titles and all that other stuff he’s won. I believe he’s the only person to win every non-weight class title and has more titles than anyone else in company history, plus a Royal Rumble, King of the Ring and Money in the Bank. That’s never being topped, ever.

2. Jeff Hardy. I know he’s not quite what he was back in the day, but egads he was crazy over back in his day. There was a real case that he was the second biggest star in the company behind Cena, and that’s one heck of an accomplishment. If he had stuck around, I’d love to see how far he could have gone.

3. Christian. Not the biggest surprise, but if you could combine his talking and charisma levels in TNA with his success in WWE, he would have been an even bigger star. He managed to craft an entire career of his own away from Edge and he was quite the big deal on his own. That feud with Randy Orton in 2011 would have run away with Feud of the Year if not for Cena vs. Punk.

4. Bubba Ray Dudley. I loved his singles run as Bully Ray and he was a heck of a heel. I know that’s down in TNA, but he was still a success and fighting against some top names. He’s an incredible talker and played a good power heel in the ring. The tag team success helped him out a lot as well and gave him extra credibility. To go from what felt like a joke of a singles run in WWE to this was quite impressive.

5. Matt Hardy. Really, it’s just hard to care. Some of the stuff he did was good and the Mattitude Facts are hilarious but his World Title reigns in TNA barely existed and his ECW Title reign is forgettable. He had some nice midcard work but it never really felt big and he never broke through to that next level. The potential was always there and it just didn’t click.

6. D-Von Dudley. Back in the day, a buddy of mine and I would use our 13 inch Marvel figures for wrestling toys. They had theme songs, storylines, entrance music and all that jazz. One of them was a Ghost Rider figure named Blaze. One of his finishers was a reverse implant DDT called the Inferno. D-Von occasionally used that as his finisher. For me, that is the high point of his singles career.

Survivor Series Count-Up – 2008: Down Goes Canada

IMG Credit: WWE

Survivor Series 2008
Date: November 23, 2008
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 12,498
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Jim Ross, Tazz

The other major story on the show is Team Orton vs. Team Batista. Randy Orton vs. Batista had always been a match WWE wanted to push on a big stage but this is about as high as they ever got. They would face each other at various other pay per views in singles matches, but none as high profile as this one. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is the exact same thing it’s been for two years. Literally, they’re the same clips before we get to the stuff about the main events.

JR and Taz talk about the Hardy issue and say that ABC and TMZ picked up the story. I seem to remember that being a lie.

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Shawn Michaels, Rey Mysterio, Cryme Tyme, Great Khali

John Bradshaw Layfield, The Miz, John Morrison, Kane, MVP

Shawn and JBL are feuding over Shawn being broke and needing money form JBL, Cryme Tyme (Shad Gaspard and JTG, two thug characters) are feuding with Miz and Morrison, Kane has been hunting Mysterio and Khali and MVP (in the middle of a massive losing streak that would result in a face turn and the US Title) are there to fill out the lineups. MVP and Mysterio get things going as all of the commentators are talking at once.

Rey hits a quick hurricanrana and a clothesline for two before it’s off to JTG for a double dropkick. JTG hits a HARD right hand but MVP gets in a shot to the ribs and hits the Drive-By (running kick to the side of the head) for the elimination. Khali immediately comes in and chops MVP in the head for the elimination to tie things up.

Kane comes in for the staredown of the giants and Khali clotheslines him down with ease. Khali slugs him down and easily breaks up a chokeslam attempt. There’s the chop to the head and Rey climbs on Khali’s shoulders for the splash and another elimination. Off to Morrison who speeds things up. Mysterio hits a quick kick to the head and it’s time for Shad.

Now Cryme Tyme vs. Miz/Morrison was a feud ahead of its time: their internet shows got in an argument and a wrestling feud followed. Shad misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Miz. Since Miz isn’t quite the worker he is at this point, it’s back to Morrison very quickly. Shad runs over both members of the tag team and powerslams Miz down before hitting another overhyped elbow. Miz pops back up and hits the Reality Check (backbreaker/neckbreaker combo) to eliminate Shad.

It’s off to Shawn who comes in via a slow, dramatic step. He gets to face the Miz, meaning that entrance was wasted. To the shock of almost everyone, Miz takes over and double teams with Morrison to work over Shawn’s back. JBL, the slimmed down version, comes in to pound away and drop an elbow for two. Back to Miz who pounds away at Shawn’s bad eye, busting it open again.

Morrison comes in again to crank on a headlock and send Shawn over the top. Naturally Shawn skins the cat to come back in, as he has for years. At least Morrison jumps him when Shawn gets back inside. A forearm puts Shawn down and Morrison nips up in a little jab at HBK. Morrison misses the top rope elbow and it’s a double tag to bring in Miz vs. Mysterio. Rey hits a springboard hurricanrana into the 619 and the top rope splash puts Miz out.

JBL comes in and hits a hard shoulder to take Mysterio down. The crowd is WAY into Rey here. The fans think JBL can’t wrestle. Off to Morrison with a European uppercut followed by a backbreaker. Rey gets in a kick to the face but it’s off to JBL to hook an abdominal stretch with the leg being cranked on at the same time. Once Rey escapes, JBL uses something you don’t often see: a big boot to the back of the head. Rey blocks a belly to back superplex and hits a moonsault press to put JBL down and bust open his lip. There’s the tag to Shawn who hits the forearm and nip up of his own to send Bradshaw to the floor.

Shawn dives out to take Bradshaw out and loads up the superkick to send JBL running away. With JBL running away from the kick, Shawn slides back in and beats the count by one second, meaning JBL is gone via a countout. Morrison tries to superkick Shawn but Shawn is like boy these boots are older than you and kicks Morrison’s head off for the final pin and 3-0 victory.

Rating: C. This was fine but the ending was kind of anti-climatic. They were trying to save the Shawn pin over JBL which was a good idea as they would have a solid feud in the next few months which resulted in Shawn being JBL’s lackey because Shawn was poor. The guys other than the captains in this didn’t do much of note but that’s kind of the idea behind a match like this. Not bad but nothing great either.

HHH doesn’t think he needs to give his opinion on the Jeff Hardy situation. Either way, Hardy will be back. Tonight it’s going to be him vs. Kozlov and HHH promises to give the Russian his first defeat.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Candice Michelle, Jillian Hall

Smackdown: Michelle McCool, Victoria, Maria, Maryse, Natalya

Candice is a model who wasn’t horrible in the ring, Maryse is a French Canadian bombshell and Natalya is a member of the Hart Family. Beth is the captain of Team Raw (and is dating Santino Marella) and McCool is captain of Team Smackdown. They’re also Women’s and Divas Champions respectively. For the sake of simplicity, only Michelle McCool will be referred to as Michelle. Beth and Michelle start things off with Beth controlling via a top wristlock. Michelle uses some decent chain wrestling to set up a dropkick to send Beth backwards a bit.

Maryse tags herself in and gets in a brawl with her own partner Michelle. Team Raw: “LET THEM FIGHT!” Good thinking. After the brawl is broken up, it’s Beth vs. Maria with Maria avoiding a charge and hitting a slow motion headscissors. Off to Kelly vs. Maria and hopefully this doesn’t last long. Victoria tags herself in and gets caught in a hurricanrana by Kelly for the pin. Kelly tries the same thing on Maryse for two so Maryse hits a backbreaker and gets the pin as well.

It’s 4-4 now and Mickie comes in while swearing a bit. A Thesz Press puts Maryse down and it’s off to Michelle again. They try to bridge into a backslide, fail miserably, and try again to a standoff. McCool hits a Russian legsweep for two and Mickie hits a clothesline for the same. Maria’s save hits McCool by mistake, allowing Mickie to hit the jumping DDT and pin Michelle. Mickie gets in an argument with Beth and gets rolled up by Maryse to tie it right back up.

Off to Candice vs. Natalya and they trade some rollups for two. Natalya busts out a Sharpshooter (it is the Survivor Series after all) but Jillian makes the save. Candice hits a spear for a quick pin on Natalya and it’s 3-2 with Jillian, Beth and Candice vs. Maria and Maryse.

It’s Jillian vs. Maria with Jillian getting two off a Samoan Drop. Maria grabs a quick victory roll to eliminate Jillian and ten seconds later, Candice hits a northern lights suplex to put Maria out. Maryse hooks an inverted figure four on Candice and we’re down to one on one. Maryse gets in a few shots and a rollup but the Glam Slam (double chickenwing slam) gives Beth the final pin very quickly.

Rating: D. As decent as last year’s was, this felt like your traditional Divas match. You had some decent workers but most of the girls are models who are there because of how they look in swimsuits. I’ve seen worse matches and the right choice was the survivor, but this just didn’t work for the most part.

Matt Hardy says that Jeff was hit in the back of the head with a blunt object, ending any drug speculation.

We recap Undertaker vs. Big Show. Show isn’t scared of Undertaker so he’ll win the casket match tonight.

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Casket match and the casket gets the full druid entrance. I wonder if those guys hang out at catering after this. They have a nice casket this year too instead of the normally generic ones. Show took all of 2007 off and lost a ton of weight so he’s still kind of slim here. Well slim for him that is. I don’t think the bell rang but Show starts throwing punches anyway. One misses though and Undertaker tries to dump him into the casket to no avail.

They head to the floor and Undertaker’s headbutt has no effect. Show pounds away at the ribs and rams Undertaker face first into the announce table to daze the smaller giant. The announce table gets loaded up but Show headbutts him instead of putting Undertaker on the table. Undertaker grabs one of those big monitors WWE uses and bashes Show’s head in a few times with it. A BIG leg to put Show through the table in the huge spot of the match.

They slowly start heading back to the casket but take a detour into the ring instead. Old School is countered and things slow down again. There’s a side slam from Show as the crowd is a lot less interested than they were when Undertaker was on offense. The casket it opened and Undertaker is put inside but Show has to close the casket himself.

Since Show won’t close the lid, Undertaker comes back with a bunch of punches and the jumping clothesline. Show hits a big elbow in the corner to slow down Undertaker (and the crowd) again. For some reason Show loads up a Vader Bomb when Undertaker is half up and gets chokeslammed down.

The casket is opened again and a big boot to the side of Show’s head knocks him inside, but Show blocks the lid from being shut again. Back in and Show hits the chokeslam….then destroys the casket. Show starts walking away and there’s a wall of fire to stop him from leaving. Well of course there is. Undertaker goes after him and gets punched down again, but here are more druids with another casket.

Show punches Undertaker a bit more and stands the casket up so he can ram Undertaker into it and knock both of them down. The casket is stood up again but it’s open this time. Undertaker punches Show to the edge of the stage before whipping Show into the casket, causing it to fall and shut to give Undertaker the win.

Rating: D. This is considered a horrible casket match by some people but it’s really not that bad. It’s certainly a bad match but the ending was kind of creative and what are you expecting from Undertaker vs. Big Show? They’re going to hit each other a lot and it’s going to be slow, so why do people act surprised when any match with either of these two or Kane is the same formula? Not a good match but it’s definitely not terrible.

Carlito and Primo (cousins) hit on the Bellas but can’t tell them apart. In something I never thought I’d have to say again, the Gobbledygooker pops up and the Colons think it’s Charlie Haas, but of course he pops up in the room and the Gooker is played by the Boogeyman. This would be another pointless segment.

Randy Orton doesn’t want to be team captain but his team will win anyway. He implies Cody is the weak link of the team. Cody says that if Randy is eliminated first, it’s addition by subtraction. The team has to hold them apart.

Team Orton vs. Team Batista

Randy Orton, Mark Henry, William Regal, Cody Rhodes, Shelton Benjamin

Batista, Kofi Kingston, CM Punk, R-Truth, Matt Hardy

Cody is being mentored by Orton in a group called Legacy, Shelton is US Champion, Matt is ECW Champion and Punk/Kofi are Raw Tag Team Champions. Orton cost Punk the Raw World Title back in October, Hardy and Henry are feuding over the ECW Title, Truth is chasing Shelton’s Title and Regal has been helping Orton against Batista. This is quite the intricate match for a change.

Punk immediately charges at Regal and hits the GTS for the elimination in about ten seconds. Shelton gets a very fast two on Punk before pounding away on his back. Off to Kofi who grabs a front facelock. Kofi is even more over here than usual as he went to college in Boston. Kofi tries a monkey flip but Shelton lands on his feet and brings in Henry to pound away slowly.

Henry apparently gets tired after a few seconds so here’s Cody. Matt comes in, does nothing of note, and tags in Truth who pounds away. Striker talks about what a killing Truth is making as we can hear a lot of spots being called here tonight. I don’t know if the ring is mic’d loudly or what but you can hear all kinds of stuff here. Batista comes in and everybody runs until it’s only Cody left to face him. Rhodes quickly tags out to Shelton but Batista takes him down with ease and gets two via a powerslam. Off to Matt vs. Randy as things speed up. A bulldog gets two for Matt but a moonsault misses.

It’s off to Henry who lost the ECW Title to Hardy a few months ago. Cody comes in and chokes a bit but there’s the double tag to Truth vs. Shelton. A victory roll gets two for Truth and he does his backflip into the splits spot. The spinning forearm misses completely and Paydirt (a jumping downward spiral) gets the pin for Shelton. Kofi immediately comes in with a springboard cross body for two and a dropkick to put Shelton down.

The Boom Drop gets another two for Kofi but Henry blasts Kofi in the back of the head. Henry comes in legally now for more quick pounding and it’s finally off to Orton. Orton does his really slow stomp but the knee drop misses. Randy drapes him over the top rope and hits the hanging DDT for the elimination. Punk is immediately waiting on Orton, who gets beaten up for a few moments but gets in a rake to the eyes and tags out to Cody.

Rhodes works on the arm for a bit but gets caught by the knee and bulldog combo for two. Punk goes up but Manu (the other member of Legacy who didn’t last long) distracts him long enough for Cody to shove him off the top. A DDT eliminates Punk quickly and we’re down to 4-2 with Batista/Matt vs. Orton/Cody/Henry/Benjamin. Matt comes in and hits a quick Side Effect for two on Rhodes but it’s quickly back to Henry. Matt hits an elbow to the back of Henry’s head and manages to pull off the Side Effect for two. That’s about it for Hardy as the World’s Strongest Slam takes him out, leaving Batista all alone.

Batista immediately spears down Henry to make it 3-1 as Shelton comes in. Benjamin gets caught in a spinebuster almost immediately and the Batista Bomb gets is down to 2-1. Cody comes in and peppers Batista with some right hands before charging into a boot. Batista powerslams Rhodes down and says Orton is next. Batista hits the Bomb on Rhodes but Randy made a blind tag while Cody was in the air. The RKO gets the elimination and win for Rhodes and Orton.

Rating: B. This was a kind of throwback to the old school Survivor Series matches where the numbers finally caught up with the big face and he got beat. Orton vs. Batista was one of the big matches that WWE never really got to do on the scale I think they were hoping for. They would have a long match next month at Armageddon but that’s hardly the second main event at Wrestlemania which they were capable of having. Still though, good stuff here and the best match of the night by far.

Kozlov says he’ll win.

Hardy is officially out of the title match tonight.

The recap video is pretty pointless now because the video is mostly about Jeff. Kozlov is here because HHH wanted to have some big epic match with him that no one but him was interested in. Jeff is here because he keeps getting so close to winning the title so EVIL Vickie wouldn’t let him in the match. Jeff invaded the contract signing and beat up a lot of people until he was put in the match.

Smackdown World Title: Vladimir Kozlov vs. HHH

HHH is defending. After the big match intros we’re ready to go. The fans chant USA of course and for once it’s actually appropriate. Kozlov, the amateur wrestler/combat sports expert, takes it to the mat with amateur stuff. Now remember that, because it’ll become important later. HHH gets on the mat with him and hooks a headlock. The fans now chant boring as we hit a standoff. Now they want Hardy.

They trade arm holds on the mat and then trade even more arm holds on the same mat. Back up and HHH hits the high knee and a facebuster followed by the DDT for no cover. The fans chant for TNA before HHH hits the spinebuster. Kozlov counters the Pedigree and hits the headbutt to the chest to take HHH down. Vladimir sends HHH into the corner and out to the floor where very little happens.

Back in and a fall away slam gets two for the challenger and he fires some shoulders to the ribs. A powerslam gets another two and it’s off to a body grip to slow things down even more. Kozlov hits a pair of backbreakers for two and it’s back to that grip. HHH comes back with some right hands but gets powerslammed down for another two. A comeback by HHH is countered into a belly to belly as Taz says Kozlov is going to win, further dooming him to lose. HHH hits a Pedigree out of nowhere and here’s Smackdown GM Vickie Guerrero.

She says he’s here and makes it a triple threat, with the third man being the returning Edge. Edge does the psycho eyes on the way to the ring and I think a cameraman fell off the ramp as he was filming. Edge spears down HHH and here’s Jeff Hardy to destroy the Canadian. His chair shot hits HHH though, allowing Edge to steal the pin and the title.

Rating: D. There’s a lot to say here. First and foremost, as usual I disagree with anyone who said this was the worst match of the year. It’s arguably not even the worst match of the show, but think about this for a minute: are you telling me there isn’t some terrible Divas match somewhere in the year worse than this? Or that Honky Tonk Man vs. Santino Marella at Cyber Sunday was indeed better?

This match was indeed bad, but let’s think about this for a minute. Kozlov is supposed to be a combat sports expert and an amateur wrestler. So what did he do? He wrestled like his character was supposed to. Now was it boring? Absolutely. Was it a REALLY stupid move to put him in a World Title match? Absolutely. Were the fans interested? Not at all. If you want proof, back at Cyber Sunday the options for the title match were HHH vs. either guy, or a triple threat. The results were as follows:

Hardy – 57%

Triple Threat – 38%

Kozlov – 5%

Based on that alone, it’s clear that almost no one wanted to see HHH vs. Kozlov one on one. The interest just wasn’t there, so they booked a triple threat instead which there was interest in. Then they screw the fans out of their money by taking Jeff out of the match because of whatever their reasoning was. Then they flip the fans off AGAIN by having Hardy run in at the end. Hardy would pin Edge in another triple threat the next month to win the title in a shocker. Why this match didn’t happen here is beyond me, but again it’s screwing the fans out of what was advertised until the night before the show.

At the end of the day though, no one bought Kozlov as a real threat to the title. The guy just wasn’t going to be WWE Champion with the response he got, which is why Hardy was the interesting factor in this match. Without him, you have twelve minutes of your time being wasted until the ending, which should have been Hardy. Anyway, nothing to see here but it’s not the worst match of the year.

We recap Jericho vs. Cena. Jericho snuck into the Championship Scramble match last month at Unforgiven and stole the World Title while Cena was on the shelf. Tonight, Cena returns from a neck injury to try and get his title back. In his hometown. Against a guy that has literally only beaten him once. And we’re supposed to expect Jericho to have a chance because we’re supposed to ignore all that stuff.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

Jericho is defending of course. Cena almost immediately tries the FU but Jericho bails to the apron. Jericho comes back with a headlock which works on the neck followed by a shoulder block to take Cena to the floor. John holds his neck a lot and looks shaken. Back in and Cena pounds away in the corner as they’re hitting hard but the pace of the match is pretty slow if that makes sense. Jericho takes over and things continue to go slowly.

Cena comes back with the Throwback and goes up for the Fameasser, only to come down because that’s the move that hurt his neck in the first place. Jericho takes over again and things go slowly. A kick to the side of Cena’s head puts him on the floor for a nine count. Back in and Cena slugs away but gets sent right back to the floor. Jericho throws him into the steps and heads back in for a neck crank.

After the hold is broken, it’s time for more choking followed by a full nelson. The hold lasts almost a minute and a half but Cena blocks the bulldog. A shoulder puts Jericho down but the second shoulder connects. Jericho misses the Lionsault but the Shuffle is countered into the Liontamer (kneeling Walls of Jericho)! He hasn’t used that in years but it looks awesome. Cena escapes the hold so Jericho puts on the regular Boston Crab instead. Cena, after being in the hold over a minute straight, grabs the rope to escape. Back up and Cena hits an FU out of nowhere but can’t follow up.

Both guys head up to the top with Cena slamming him to the mat, followed up by the top rope Fameasser. Cena is all fired up now but Jericho breaks up the FU and hits a Codebreaker for a delayed two. Jericho takes over and hits a clothesline followed by an EVIL smirk. He smirks a bit too much though and Cena grabs the STFU. Cena has to try to pull the hold back to the middle of the ring and Jericho kicks him away. The champ tries a small package but Cena pulls him up into the FU for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. The match itself was fine but there was less drama in this than in a Donald Duck cartoon. At the end of the day, Cena does not lose to Jericho and he does not tap out no matter what. The wrestling was fine and it told a story and all that jazz, but I’d rather have a main event where I wasn’t sure what was going to happen than a match being designed for Cena to have everything come together and win and then everything coming together to win.

Cena celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been doing so many of these lately, but this wasn’t the most interesting show in the world. It was dull at times and almost felt like a chore to sit through. The first hour or so is WAY worse than the rest of the show, but even the last two thirds aren’t all that great. This didn’t work that well and it’s not something I want to see again.

Ratings Comparison

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Original: B+

Redo: C

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Original: D-

Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Team Orton vs. Team Batista

Original: C-

Redo: B

Edge vs. HHH vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Original: D+

Redo: D

John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

I’ve flipped on the two male Survivor Series matches but other than that it’s about the same.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/17/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2008-let-jericho-beat-cena-once-just-one-time/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6