Taking an in depth look at Sunday’s main event and why it could be the most important match TNA has ever had.

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-bound-for-something-new-i-hope/42092/

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 30, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s the go home show for Bound For Glory and the big question is what does Dixie Carter have in store for her nephew Ethan at the show. Last week’s show ended with a teaser of a special guest referee for Sunday’s title match, even though it should be pretty easy to figure out where they’re going with the story. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Galloway winning the title shot last week.

Here are Ethan and Tyrus to open the show. Ethan doesn’t get why no one is talking about him four days before the biggest show of the year. Everyone is talking about Drew Galloway when he hasn’t even won anything yet. Even Dixie Carter is talking about Drew and the champ wants her out here right now to explain herself.

Dixie gets right in his face and talks about how Drew stood up for TNA after Ethan wanted nothing to do with the war against the company their family owns. Ethan says he’s sleeping fine at night as the World Heavyweight Champion. This Sunday, Drew isn’t going to beat him because Drew can’t do it. Cue Galloway to tell Ethan to shut his bloody mouth. No one likes Ethan because he turned his back on the company.

Drew says this is his company in the first place and the belt makes him the best in the world. Ethan better hope that Drew never stops talking because the only thing he does better than talk is fight. The champ says this Sunday, Drew isn’t going to stand up because he better stand down. Drew isn’t coming to Sunday to be the savior, but he is coming to be the champ. This was good stuff and as well done of a thrown together build as they could have had.

James Storm blames Mahabali Sheera for the downfall of the Revolution.

Ethan tells Dixie that he’ll take out the future on Sunday.

Recap of Sheera rebelling against the Revolution, which started falling apart as a result.

James Storm vs. Mahabali Sheera

No DQ. Sheera starts the brawl in the aisle but Storm hits him low to take over. Storm’s cross body is caught in a fall away slam but James grabs a Backstabber. Two chairs are set up in the middle of the ring and Storm slams Sheera “through” them for two. Now it’s table time but Storm spits beer in the referee’s eyes.

The worst spear I’ve ever seen (like worse than Christian’s) gets no cover and Storm is able to get in a cowbell shot to the head. Eye of the Storm through the table gets two so Storm breaks a beer bottle. Cue Manik and Abyss for a Black Hole Slam and frog splash, setting up the Sky High to give Mahabali the pin at 7:30.

Rating: C-. If you believe the reports, this is supposed to be the big star at the India tapings. I’m not wild on Sheera either way but this wasn’t much of a match. Then again, that’s almost always the case with TNA’s gimmick matches as they’re so overused that it’s hard to get into one over the other. Storm is gone from the company now and if they’ve ever wasted a potential star like they did with him, I can’t come up with the name.

Here’s Bobby Roode with something to say. Roode is proud to be King of the Mountain Champion and is ready to defend the title with respect. There’s going to be an open challenge on Sunday and here’s Lashley to interrupt. Lashley came here to face the best competition in the world and to collect titles. They’ve had some great matches all year so why not one more time on Sunday for the King of the Mountain Title. Roode accepts. They also respect each other a lot because that’s required in TNA.

Taryn tells the Dollhouse to destroy the Beautiful People once and for all tonight.

DJZ vs. Tommaso Ciampa vs. Trevor Lee

Lee and Brian Myers will be getting their rematch for the Tag Team Titles on Sunday. Ciampa starts fast by suplexing DJZ onto the apron but Lee hits a nice flip dive to take Ciampa down. DJZ comes back in with a middle rope elbow and a double tornado DDT. Lee German suplexes Ciampa for two but he comes back with Project Ciampa (powerbomb into a backstabber) for two on Trevor. The break up sends Ciampa to the floor though and Lee’s flipping cross body into a powerslam is good for the pin at 4:16.

Rating: C. So let me make sure I’ve got this straight. Lee, who is about to fight for the Tag Team Titles, wins an individual match by pinning someone going into a multi-man match for a singles title while Ciampa, a guy who isn’t even a full time wrestler here, was RIGHT THERE for the fall. Only in TNA.

The Beautiful People are ready for the Dollhouse, even though Angelina has a busted shoulder (read as she’s pregnant). Velvet wants Taryn at ringside because just like her, it’s going to be ugly.

Brooke talks about what it means to be a Knockout. She wants the title back.

Ethan isn’t worried about whatever Dixie has planned for him.

Dollhouse vs. Beautiful People

Marti/Rebel/Jade vs. Madison/Velvet here. Velvet’s “Let’s Cuddle and Watch Star Wars” shirt is about as awesome as you can get. It’s a brawl to start with Madison sending Marti into the corner. Off to Jade for some kicks to the ribs as Pope refuses to predict a winner between Kong and Kim, citing disrespect. Madison sends Jade into the corner and makes the tag off to Sky.

More kicks have Jade in trouble so she brings in Rebel (in pink gloves) for even more kicks. A double clothesline puts both of them down and it’s off to Madison vs. Marti with the Rayne Drop connecting for two. Everything breaks down and Velvet avoids having her arm crushed. Rebel throws powder in Madison’s eyes and Marti grabs a rollup for the pin at 6:20.

Rating: D. This really didn’t do it for me as they had a bunch of kicks and then a brawl at the end. Also, I don’t know about you but I could see two big factions facing off on pay per view as an interesting idea but why do that when you can air it in a nothing match on TV instead? As usual, only in TNA.

Eric Young wants to fight anyone.

Gail Kim is ready for Awesome Kong and doesn’t know what to expect when they square off on Sunday.

Eric Young comes out to yell about Sgt. Chris Melendez having so many people help him with that one win. Eric declares himself God. This brings out Robbie E. of all people because he wants a fight. Robbie’s offense doesn’t do much as a low blow puts him right back down.

This brings out Melendez for the real fight but Eric puts him down one more time. Young goes for a chair but Chris takes it away and sends Young running. Now it’s Mr. Anderson to block Young from escaping and ask him about where God has been all his life. A bunch of people in the back want to beat Young up but Anderson, Melendez and Robbie take their turns on him instead.

Matt Hardy comes in to see Galloway and let him know that if they win their tag match tonight, Sunday’s main event becomes a three way. Drew loves the idea and says that’s why they’re here.

Young yells at Dixie about how unfair that was so Dixie gives him Kurt Angle on Sunday.

Video on Sunday’s card.

Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Matt Hardy/Drew Galloway

If Matt and Drew win, Matt is added to Sunday’s World Title match. Tyrus kicks Drew in the ribs to start before it’s off to Drew vs. Matt. Hardy has some more luck and gets in a few shots of his own but the Twist of Fate is easily broken up. The villains take over with Tyrus slapping on a chinlock before stepping on Matt’s ribs as we take a break. Back with Matt making a comeback and tagging in Drew to clean house. A running boot to the face is enough to put Tyrus away at 13:20, putting Matt in the title match on Sunday.

Rating: D+. How in the world was this a thirteen minute match? It felt like it ran about five minutes and I can’t remember a thing about it. This really didn’t need to have a stipulation attached but we wouldn’t be in TNA if they didn’t add something in for the sake of adding it in. We’re not even done with that yet.

Dixie comes out and announces Jeff Hardy as the guest referee for Sunday’s main event. Shocking indeed.

Overall Rating: C. This was WAY better than in previous weeks. Like, staggeringly better in parts. They addressed the major matches on Sunday and built them up well enough to make me a lot more interested in the show than I was before. Above all else though, everything seemed like it had a purpose. It wasn’t a bunch of filler disguised as a wrestling show and that’s a very nice change of pace.

However, there is one major issue. TNA spent their entire go home show building up Carter vs. Galloway but then they throw Matt Hardy in with like two minutes to go. Not only is Matt not a logical move (he’s lost his two title shots already) but it feels as shoehorned in as anything I’ve seen in a very long time. I’m not a big fan of triple threats in the first place and throwing in someone who doesn’t belong there makes it even worse. I could go for a break from the Hardys as well as TNA really needs to get away from these old acts. It’s not like their ratings are amazing with Jeff on top or anything so why not try something new?

Results

Mahabali Sheera b. James Storm – Sky High

Trevor Lee b. DJZ and Tommaso Ciampa – Spinning powerslam to DJZ

Dollhouse b. Beautiful People – Rollup to Rayne

Matt Hardy/Drew Galloway b. Tyrus/Ethan Carter III – Big boot to Tyrus

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 23, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Well the invaders are gone and now it’s time for the build to Bound For Glory, which is going to take place in the next two weeks because that’s all the time we have left. The big story is now Ethan Carter III messing with Jeff Hardy while we wait for a new #1 contender to be crowned. The show basically resets tonight after the GFW guys are gone so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s Lethal Lockdown. It still sucks.

The roster is around the ring as Team TNA and Dixie are in the ring. Galloway thanks Dixie for the chance and talks about how this is their platform to show how much they love wrestling. Dixie makes a five way match for the #1 contendership later in the night. However, Dixie isn’t done yet. There’s one man who is outside of the family now and she wants him out here right now.

Cue Eric Young, who says he has an iron clad contract with TNA but he hedged his bets anyway. There’s nothing Dixie and company can do about it, but Dixie thinks the people around the ring might want to do something. She brings out Sgt. Chris Melendez, who has lost to Eric every single time as Josh points out.

Sgt. Chris Melendez vs. Eric Young

Lumberjack match. Young throws him to the floor to start but the lumberjacks let him back inside. Back in and the fans chant USA as Young is still in full control with a chinlock. Young keeps destroying him with some knees in the corner as Josh hypes up Kurt Angle returning at Bound For Glory. A horrible Samoan drop puts Young down but he pokes Chris in the eye. The prosthetic leg to the face looks to set up the piledriver but instead puts Chris on top for a superplex. Chris shoves him off and hits a missile dropkick for the pin at 5:25.

Rating: D. So here’s the lesson: if you go to war and get your leg blown off, you’ll get to come back to a wrestling promotion that almost no one watches and be one of the least interesting wrestlers of all time before eventually beating an upper midcarder, which will be treated like the most amazing moment in history. Boring match again, because neither of these two are anything worth watching.

The lumberjacks come in to celebrate because they’re easily entertained.

The Dollhouse talks about hurting Gail Kim tonight. Jade is thrilled to get the chance. Rebel and Belle are told to go prove their worth to Taryn.

Ethan Carter III tells Jeff Hardy to do what he says tonight or get fired.

Lashley is done with defending TNA and is ready to go to Bound For Glory.

The announcers talk about the elimination match tonight. Josh looks like a tool with his flannel shirt and sleeve tattoo.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Jade

Gail is defending but Jade jumps her to start. A hurricanrana gets two for the champ but a German suplex gets the same for Jade. Some chops in the corner have Gail in trouble (Pope: “Look at the chest of Gail Kim!”) until she comes back with her corner cross body and the Figure Four around the post. Another hurricanrana is countered into a Batista Bomb to give Jade two, only to have Eat Defeat retain Gail’s title at 4:24.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t bad but they gave away the ending at the beginning by showing the Gail vs. Kong graphic for Bound For Glory. You think they can afford to make a second graphic for a single match? Gail was her usual solid but dull self here and Jade did her normal stuff to make for a watchable match, even if it was hard to care about because Gail sucks the energy out of any segment she’s involved in.

Rebel and Marti run out to beat down Gail but Velvet and Madison make the save. Gail is left alone so here’s Awesome Kong for the staredown.

Rockstar Spud, with Kong’s music still playing, says he and Ethan are welded together so tonight they fight again for the World Title.

X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. Kenny King

Time for your monthly defense of the worthless title against the latest opponent who has already left the promotion because they have nothing to do for him. King is also 0-2 since coming back so naturally he’s getting a title shot. Kenny shoves him around to start but Tigre comes back with some kicks to the head to knock King outside, followed by a corkscrew dive. King kicks Tigre out of the air and gets two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. A high cross body gets two for the champ but King kicks him into the corner again. Tigre grabs a quick tornado DDT though and the springboard splash retains the title at 5:29.

Rating: C. Fun little match but as I said, this means absolutely nothing. The X-Division might have actually died worse than anything else in TNA in the last two years, which really covers a lot of ground. The match happens and then we’re done talking about it again for weeks. There’s a chance we’ll get another title match at Bound For Glory but odds are it’s some big multi-man elimination match with no story. That’s the major problem for Uno: other than the stupid Donald Trump thing, he hasn’t had a story in the three months that he’s been champion.

We recap Jeff Hardy being hired by Ethan Carter III against his will. Notice that Carter has said Jeff needs this job to pay his bills. Translation: TNA doesn’t pay you when you’re hurt, even if you’re appearing on TV.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Rockstar Spud

Carter is defending and has Hardy and Tyrus in his corner. Spud last won a match…..in August or so? Spud chops away in the corner but the champ stomps him down to take over. Some running forearms put Carter down in the corner as well but the Underdog is countered into a powerbomb for two. Spud grabs the leg to block the 1%er and an enziguri puts the champ down. Not that it matters as a quick facebuster sets up the 1%er to retain the title at 5:36.

Rating: D+. Another quick match that has no time to go anywhere because they have to fit every single thing they can into a single show. There was a time when this match was fun but that was when it was given more than five minutes and an obvious ending. This was more about a quick title defense for Carter, which is fine, but the World Title shouldn’t be on the line in a short match in the middle of the show.

Post match Tyrus beats up Spud even more but Jeff refuses to give him a Twist of Fate. Matt Hardy tries to intervene but Tyrus takes him down. Jeff won’t hit his brother but hits Ethan instead. This story continues to go nowhere because Jeff can’t wrestle, though it still wasn’t the most interesting feud in the first place.

Ethan is going to fire Jeff later.

The Revolution is in the ring with James Storm getting in Abyss’ face. Abyss yells at Storm and says he’s his own man and a TNA original. If Storm ever gets in his face again, Abyss will knock him back to Tennessee. Abyss walks out so Storm calls Khoya out again. Manik says Khoya’s name is Mahabali so Storm shoves him down. Manik still won’t call him Khoya but stops Storm from hitting him. The mask comes off and Manik walks away as well. Cue Sheera who wants to fight Storm right now. Storm says ok but then walks away.

Galloway talks to the Wolves but it’s about being singles wrestlers tonight. All three are cool with that.

There’s going to be a four way Ultimate X match for the X-Division Title at Bound For Glory. No opponents are announced yet. I’m as shocked as you are: a multi-man title match with no story whatsoever, just like almost every title match.

Bram vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Davey Richards vs. Drew Galloway vs. Lashley

Elimination rules and the winner gets the title shot at Bound For Glory. It’s a big brawl to start until Bram and Galloway have a staredown. Lashley comes back in to clean house but gets sent outside. The Wolves get suplexed by Bram but come back with a double suicide dive. Back in and the Wolves start kicking away at Bram, capped off by a double top rope stomp for the elimination.

We come back from a break with Lashley lifting Davey up for a delayed vertical suplex which no one can break up. Why they would want to break it up isn’t clear but I’d assume it’s because logic has no place in a Wolves match. Eddie slaps a half crab on Lashley and Davey adds a cloverleaf on Drew. Those go nowhere and a spear from Lashley and Future Shock from Drew take out the Wolves. Down to Lashley vs. Galloway with Lashley taking over off some chops. A powerslam gets two for Lashley and he unleashes the suplexes. The spear hits buckle though and Drew’s big boot sends him to Bound For Glory at 14:43.

Rating: C-. Well that happened. It’s a meaningless five way with no personal animosity and no one that stood all that high above the rest. As usual, TNA has no idea how to build to a match other than Dixie coming out and announcing it. This was ten minutes of average wrestling with little drama and no reason to cheer for anyone in particular. If Drew wins, fine. If Lashley wins, fine. Bram wasn’t going to win because he’s a violent man and the Wolves aren’t winning because they’re a team. What was left to care about here?

Ethan and Tyrus are back to call out Jeff for his firing. Jeff throws the sign down and talks about living to create and how the creatures don’t live in Ethan’s reality. Ethan talks about Jeff having no other form of income and orders him down on his knee to kiss the World Title. Jeff gets on his knee but quits instead of reciting Ethan’s speech. Ethan says Jeff is fired and this show is over.

We get a preview for next week to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This company feels like an indy promotion. You establish some characters and have a main title picture, but the rest of the show is spent having random feuds and matches with no real story to them. Wrestlers come and go, no one really gets over, the feuds mean nothing, and then they move on to their next program. The wrestling was just there as usual, meaning it was nothing all that interesting but it was passable for the most part.

This company needs a complete overhaul but that’s not possible when they don’t even know how long they’ll be on TV. Here’s the most telling thing for me: their top stars (arguably) are the Hardys. Matt has been defeated by Ethan twice now and Jeff can’t wrestle. Those are your big draws? A failure and an injured guy? And we’re heading into the biggest show of the year?

TNA’s biggest issue right now (aside from no one watching their show and impending cancellation) is connecting with their audience. Everything is all about caring for people who had stories before. Take the GFW story for example. Why shouldn’t I like the GFW guys? Because Jarrett was an outsider, who still owned part of the company? I have no reason to care about TNA and I have no reason to care about most of the stories they’re telling right now.

Results

Sgt. Chris Melendez b. Eric Young – Missile dropkick

Gail Kim b. Jade – Eat Defeat

Tigre Uno b. Kenny King – Springboard splash

Ethan Carter III b. Rockstar Spud – 1%er

Drew Galloway b. Bram, Davey Richards, Eddie Edwards and Lashley – Big boot to Lashley

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 9, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

The invasion is on in full force but there’s a chance we’re just a week away from it ending. Last week both sides agreed to a winner take all match to air a week from tonight with the winning side owning all of TNA. Other than that we’re just a few weeks away from Bound For Glory and the card hasn’t been announced yet. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s events, including the challenge for the winner take all match, as well as Ethan Carter III retaining over Matt Hardy and winning Jeff Hardy in the process.

The announcers talk for a bit before Ethan and Tyrus come to the ring. Ethan talks about the invasion before saying he really doesn’t care. There’s a rare instance of a wrestler speaking for the masses. Last week Ethan entered God Mode and defeated Matt Hardy to earn Jeff, so now he would like his personal assistant out here. Jeff isn’t allowed music but is asked to bring Ethan and Tyrus some water.

Unfortunately he gets the temperature wrong with a totally unacceptable 73 degrees instead of 72. Ethan throws the water on him in a “first day rib” before handing him a big Ethan Carter head on a stick to hold up. Jeff has to read an introduction off a card, making sure to call Ethan very handsome. The champ approves before announcing himself/Tyrus vs. Matt Hardy/Rockstar Spud.

Tyrus/Ethan Carter III vs. Matt Hardy/Rockstar Spud

Matt beats Tyrus up to start before getting to do the same to Ethan. A Russian legsweep gets two and it’s off to Spud for some Poetry in Motion, though Carter catches him in midair. Matt helps him out though and a double suplex gets two on Ethan. Tyrus does his job by pulling Spud out to the floor and drives him spine first into the apron to take over. Back in and both villains work over the ribs and back to show some common sense. Spud tries to fight back but gets taken down again with a drop toehold.

Jeff is told to get in a shot with the sign but he holds it up instead. The distraction lets Matt come in off the tag and house is cleaned, including a clothesline for two on Tyrus. Spud doesn’t have the same level of luck on Tyrus as he’s thrown across the ring with ease. Ethan pulls Jeff in the way of Matt’s right hand and tells his new assistant to hit Spud with a chair. Jeff won’t do it so Tyrus picks Spud up and hits the spike to the throat for the pin at 7:30.

Rating: C-. This story isn’t very interesting. That’s the best way to put it: there’s no real reason to care about this story because Jeff can’t get in the ring at the moment. Once he does, that’s the best they can do? Jeff Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III? That’s really not a great match on paper, as I’m sick and tired of seeing Jeff Hardy on top of the promotion, especially when he can’t even stay healthy because he’s off on a dirt bike somewhere.

We recap Brian Myers and Trevor Lee stealing the Tag Team Titles from the Wolves last week.

Drew Galloway and the Wolves are ready for war.

Taryn tells Rebel to take out one of the Beautiful People.

The Dollhouse jump Madison Rayne until the Beautiful People make the late save.

Here are the Jarretts for their weekly interview. Tonight they start by winning the man advantage in next week’s winner take all match and then next week they complete the hostile takeover. First up though, he wants Bobby Roode to come out here and return the King of the Mountain Title. Roode brings out the belt and says he’s not giving the belt up because it belong to TNA and the fans.

Bobby takes his shirt off but Karen tells them to chill out because they’re acting like children. Karen reminds Jeff that he’s a week away from everything he wants and tells Roode that everyone in TNA is outnumbered. The two of them have worked together a lot over the years and Roode needs to think about that.

Eli Drake talks to Kenny King and Jesse Godderz about the invasion but Galloway comes up and says it’s time to get serious. They question how good he is in a war so Galloway introduces them to three men who will stand up for TNA: Micah, Tigre Uno and Robbie E., who are promptly beaten down.

Ethan yells at Jeff Hardy for not hitting Spud with the sign. As punishment, Jeff gets to sell some new EC3 merchandise.

Jesse Godderz/Kenny King/Eli Drake vs. Robbie E./Micah/Tigre Uno

So I guess Bram beat the face turn out of King last week. Micah and King start but a single butterfly suplex sends King off for a tag to Jesse, who is run over by Robbie. Tigre comes in for some headscissors on Drake before it’s back to Micah to start in on the arm. Micah is taken into the corner and some triple teaming has him in trouble. That only lasts a few seconds before a double clothesline allows the tag to Uno. Tigre grabs a tornado DDT on King before the BroMans are both tagged in. Everything breaks down and we hit the parade of secondary finishers, capped off by the Boom Drop finishing off Jesse at 7:00.

Rating: C. It was fine and a pretty decent six man but this six guys doing moves to each other for a few minutes. It’s rarely a good sign when you have a match going on for the sake of having a match going on but that’s what these six guys were doing here. The invasion and the impending (still potential) cancellation has crippled this show, which didn’t really have a lot of energy in the first place. However, what does it say when a match with barely any story is one of the better things they’ve aired in a few weeks?

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Brooke

Brooke is defending but the announcers immediately start bowing down to Gail, just in case we forget that she’s the most awesome and amazing Knockout of all time. A headlock has Gail in trouble to start and Brooke kicks her out to the floor. Back in and a middle rope X Factor gets two for the champ but Gail grabs an armbar/headscissors combo to slow things down.

They roll around on the mat until Brooke lays on Gail’s back and puts on a chinlock at the same time. It’s kind of like a bad Last Chancery but the way she’s looking makes it look like the hold wouldn’t have much effect. Both of them try cross bodies but here’s Lei’D Tapa to grab the title belt. The Tess Shocker gets two but Brooke lets up when she sees Tapa with the title. She dives on Tapa but stops to pose, allowing Tapa to hit her with the belt for the DQ at 6:08.

Rating: C-. The match was good enough except for the fact that NO ONE CARES ABOUT LEI’D TAPA. No one cared about her when she somehow got the Gut Check win over Ivelisse, no one cared about her first run in TNA and no one cares about this run in TNA. She’s just there to look intimidating and can’t do anything else, basically making her a less talented version of her uncle. As for the match between the female Lance Storm and Billy Gunn, I’ve seen worse but taking the title off Taryn and putting it on Brooke was a bad idea and killed whatever momentum they had.

Post match Awesome Kong comes out and beats up Tapa before picking up the title.

Jeff Jarrett gives Team GFW a pep talk.

Jeff Hardy talks to Galloway about standing up for TNA but Ethan comes in to give him gear to clean. Hardy tells Galloway to take the title away soon. That sounds like a Bound For Glory tease.

Tag Team Titles: Brian Myers/Trevor Lee vs. Wolves

Myers and Lee are defending after winning the belts last week. The Wolves meet them in the aisle and clean house, followed by a double suicide dive to take the champs down. Back in and the brawling continues with Trevor hitting a kind of running belly to belly (that’s a very new one) for two on Edwards as we get into a standard formula. Eddie fights out of the double teaming and makes the tag to Davey for the “make a guy DDT his partner” spot, followed by a superplex for two on Lee.

An enziguri into a German suplex gets the same with Myers making a save. Myers hits a quick downward spiral to set up Lee’s German suplex for two on Edwards as the tagging has already been forgotten. Edwards avoids a running knee to the face and the powerbomb/Backstabber combination plants Lee. Sonjay Dutt makes the save and decks the referee but here’s Earl Hebner to shove Dutt down, leaving Edwards to tombstone Lee to regain the belts at 7:10.

Rating: C. WELL THAT WAS POINTLESS. We just spent a week freaking out over Myers and Lee winning the belts and the Wolves have them back a week later? As usual, TNA has to rush through everything because they’re about to be canceled and they think the worst invasion of all time is going to be enough to save them. This lack of drama over the belts didn’t make me care and continues to make the GFW guys look like losers who have to cheat to come close to being on TNA’s level.

Here’s Sgt. Chris Melendez to say he doesn’t mind missing his leg. He’s still on his last leg so he’s willing to fight Eric Young one more time. Young brings out the leg with the words “my leg” written on it like a trophy. If Melendez is a hero, Young never wants to be one because heroes always fail. Kurt Angle learned what it was like to face Eric Young and now he’s out on his couch. Melendez says he’ll never quit because he’s always here to fight. Young offers to fight right now but shoves Melendez down. He’ll fight Chris again but Eric will never give the leg back.

Team TNA is ready for the captains’ match tonight.

Josh Matthews sits down with Mahabali Sheera, who can’t believe he’s here. He arrived and met Manik, who introduced him to James Storm and the Revolution. Sheera promises that he’s coming for James Storm and will get his revenge. Some of this was in whatever foreign language he speaks but thankfully there were some subtitles. He gets Abyss next week.

Drew Galloway vs. Chris Mordetzky

Lumberjack match and the winner’s team gets the one man advantage next week. Drew clotheslines him down and we take a break less than a minute in. Back with Galloway and Mordetzky taking turns being sent outside for some interference from the lumberjacks before Chris scores with a big clothesline. A camel clutch doesn’t get Chris very far so he plants Drew with a Sky High for two. Both guys go outside again and the lumberjacks stand around because they can’t even get that job right.

Back in and the Future Shock puts Mordetzky down but the GFW lumberjacks pull Drew to the floor. The Wolves take them down with suicide dives but Jarrett runs in with the guitar. Cue Eric Young to take it away though, only to have him knock Drew cold to give Mordetzky the pin at 11:58.

Rating: D+. Oh joy we get more Eric Young. So I guess the question now is does Bobby Roode join TNA to counter Young or does the combined forces of Team Canada take TNA down for good. Mordetzky is fine in the ring but he sounds like a shop teacher in a 90s high school movie. Not a good match here but at least we’re getting close to the end of this stupid invasion.

Overall Rating: D. What is on this show that I should care about? We have a boring invasion where most of the wrestlers are either WWE rejects or people that have to cheat to even stay on the level of TNA’s midcard. We have Ethan Carter III vs. the Hardys in a feud over Jeff being a personal assistant. We have the Knockouts doing their thing which seems destined for ANOTHER Gail Kim title reign. Finally we have Chris Melendez vs. Eric Young XIV or so over whatever Melendez has left.

That’s almost all of TNA right now. There is almost nothing else going on with this show and for the first time, I really don’t care about anything on this show. On top of that, we have three shows before Bound For Glory and I doubt we’ll get anything announced next week either. I’m actually hoping they go away for awhile, if nothing else so they can get some fresh ideas in here. Really dull show this week as the lame stories are dragging down some actually watchable wrestling.

Results

Tyrus/Ethan Carter III b. Matt Hardy/Rockstar Spud – Spike to Spud’s throat

Robbie E./Micah/Tigre Uno b. Jesse Godderz/Kenny King/Eli Drake – Boom Drop to Godderz

Brooke b. Gail Kim via DQ when Lei’D Tapa interfered

Wolves b. Brian Myers/Trevor Lee – Tombstone to Lee

Chris Mordetzky b. Drew Galloway – Pin after Eric Young hit Galloway with a guitar

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 2, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s full on war now as the Global Force roster attacked several TNA wrestlers last week with Karen Jarrett revealing that she was behind the attacks on Drew Galloway and Bully Ray in recent weeks. In addition to the invasion, it’s almost time for Bound For Glory, which really hasn’t been set up yet. Let’s get to it.

The Hardys and Ethan Carter III arrived earlier. Carter defends against Matt Hardy tonight and if he retains, Jeff Hardy is Carter’s personal assistant.

We recap Karen Jarrett being revealed as the evil mastermind last week.

The Jarretts lead the GFW roster to the ring. Jeff talks (again) about returning on June 24 and being inducted into the Hall of Fame. He brags about all the success the GFW/TNA show had but Karen cuts him off to explain that she did everything for all the hard work her husband has put in for GFW. Yes she set these wheels in motion and had Chris Adonis take out Bully Ray. Jeff is building a new empire and no one in the back can compete with these boys. Adonis issues an open challenge to anyone in the back so here’s Lashley.

Lashley vs. Chris Mordetzky

Lashley throws him down to start and then drops Chris with a clothesline. The Mordetzky Lock (full nelson) is quickly countered into a full nelson slam but Mordetzky nails a Polish Hammer (double ax handle to the chest) to take over. We hit the chinlock before they head outside with Lashley being sent into the steps. Back in and a butterfly suplex seems to annoy Lashley more than hurt him. A double clothesline puts both guys down and it’s Lashley up first with a German suplex. The spear is countered into a spinebuster but Lashley easily blocks the full nelson. Now the spear connects but here’s GFW for the DQ at 8:57.

Rating: D+. Totally meh match here as this was nothing to see and just a match to show that Mordetsky is part of GFW’s roster. I still have no reason to care about a group of people who have been around for a month and range from no one interesting to WWE rejects. Nothing to see here.

Lashley gets destroyed so here are the Wolves for a failed save. Jeff says bring out the surprise so here she is with the Tag Team Title Feast or Fired briefcase. She says Magnus gave it to her, which apparently you can just do.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Brian Myers/Trevor Lee

Wait a minute because Earl Hebner won’t do it, earning him a right hand from Jeff. Another referee is forced to ringside and the match is on. Trevor dropkicks Edwards down for two as this is actually a regular match for a change. Myers comes in for a slam of his own but the Wolves come back with stereo submission holds, only to break them up to go after Sonjay Dutt. Myers brings in a pipe but the distraction lets Lee blast Davey with the briefcase for the pin and the titles at 2:35. There’s your token title win to make this invasion IMPORTANT.

Bobby Roode only cares about winning the King of the Mountain Title tonight.

Long recap of everything that just happened.

Ethan Carter III talks about his love of stories and how tonight, Matt’s story of going for the World Title ends tonight.

King of the Mountain Title: PJ Black vs. Bobby Roode

Black is defending and Roode stops to brag about being a TNA original. This is TNA’s house and Roode is bringing the title home. It’s a brawl on the floor to start as Matthews mistakenly says Black won the title last week. They get inside for some chops but Black blocks a suplex and sends Roode outside for a suicide dive. A springboard clothesline drops Roode and we take a break. Back with Roode winning a slugout and getting two off a spinebuster.

The Roode Bomb is broken up and Gabriel gets two off a reverse DDT. Black’s top rope Lionsault hits knees though and Roode slaps on the Crossface, only to have Dutt come out for a distraction. It doesn’t work this time though as Roode puts the Crossface back on. Drew Galloway takes Dutt out and Black….is free because Roode let it go for no apparent reason. Black’s springboard is countered into the Roode Bomb for the pin and the title at 13:15.

Rating: C+. The match was fine but what does this title change mean? That would be nothing, because the title has no important lineage and has been thrown out there for some meaningless changes. It’s the old Russo idea that you can get people to care because the title changes without the idea of making people care about the title in the first place.

Post match GFW chases Roode off and Jeff rants about everything going on here. Cue Dixie and OH DEAR GOD SHUT UP! They’re going back and forth about stabbing each other in the back and all the mistakes each other has made like ANYONE cares. Jeff brings up his ownership stake and Dixie proposes a winner take all match. Jeff agrees and Drew Galloway comes out to be on Dixie’s team. Drew wants to stand up for TNA and the Wolves and Lashley come out to join him in Team TNA.

Dinero and Matthews talk about what just happened.

Here’s the returning Kenny King with a mic in hand. He’s been going through an identity crisis in the last year but now he’s just here on his own. Kenny doesn’t want to be the kind of guy who jumps someone from behind and uses a numbers advantage to beat someone down. He issues an open challenge to anyone from any roster to come fight him right now.

Bram vs. Kenny King

Bram goes right after King to start but Kenny takes him down with a nice dive. He tries it once too often though and eats a clothesline to give Bram control. King comes back with a running elbow in the corner, followed by an enziguri to put Bram in the corner. Bram ducks another dive though and the Brighter Side of Suffering gives Bram the pin at 3:37.

Rating: D+. So King comes back, turns face, and loses in less than four minutes. That being said, this match was nothing to see but it calmed me down a lot after the stupid hostile takeover stuff had me losing my mind. This was something different than that one big story, though it was stupid in its own way.

The Hardys say Matt will win the title. Has there been a more tacked on feud than this in recent years?

Here’s Velvet Sky with something to say. She’s been keeping to herself since she got back for a reason. The Knockouts division has been evolving constantly and so has she. The Dollhouse is out of control and Taryn is going to pay. Velvet tells Taryn to come out here but she comes up on screen to say how sick she is of being compared to Velvet as the hot blonde in TNA.

Taryn has been in movies and on TV but Velvet looks like a Hot Topic reject. This is Taryn’s house and now she has to play with Taryn’s dolls. Cue the Dollhouse, who quickly beats Tarn down. Angelina Love and Madison Rayne come out and yes, the Beautiful People are back.

Video on Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III in Full Metal Mayhem, which of course set up tonight’s regular match.

Dixie gives Team TNA their pep talk. It’s Lethal Lockdown in two weeks for full control.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III

Ethan is defending and if Matt loses, Jeff Hardy is Ethan’s personal assistant. Josh: “EC3 and Matt Hardy have been rivals for quite some time.” No Josh, they haven’t been. Feeling out process to start until Matt hits a running Diamond Cutter (called a neckbreaker) for two. A big clothesline puts the champion on the floor and it’s off to a break. Back with Carter missing a middle rope elbow but putting on a sleeper.

Matt fights up and nails some clotheslines, followed by the Side Effect. The referee gets bumped off the Twist of Fate attempt though and there’s no one to count. A belt shot to Matt’s head gets two because Matt WILL NOT DIE, which seems to be code for WILL NOT STOP DRAGGING OUT OBVIOUS ENDINGS. Jeff gets in a cheap shot on Carter to give Matt two but they ram heads and Carter falls on top for two. Tyrus grabs Matt’s leg and gets chaired by Jeff, only to have Ethan hit a TKO on Matt for two more. The referee gets distracted again and a low blow and sunset flip retain Carter’s title at 13:17.

Rating: C. Wow you know what that wasn’t? Epic. You know why it wasn’t? Because they did the big gimmick match three weeks ago and this company is too stupid to figure out that they shouldn’t do things in that order. The match was fine but I have no reason to care about Matt Hardy as a lame duck challenger before we get to the Bound For Glory and whatever they have planned there.

Jeff now has to work for Carter and is forced to raise the champ’s hand to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. I’ve sat through a lot from TNA over the years. I survived Immortal, THEY, all of Russo’s nonsense and Dixieland. Tonight, for the first time, I got mad at them over how bad things got. This invasion is one of the worst written, lamest attempts at doing something that I’ve ever seen. Case in point: if the blowoff is in two weeks, the whole story lasted five shows. Even the WWF InVasion, one of the most botched stories ever, ran several months before the big ending.

Instead, TNA has decided that we care about the power struggle (because they’re too stupid to run ANYTHING BUT A POWER STRUGGLE) between Jeff and Dixie, leaving Ethan Carter III, a guy who could have been a much bigger deal for them, fighting the Hardys in a midcard feud. We’re a month away from Bound For Glory and their big story is going to be blown off on TV two weeks beforehand.

If TNA is going down, and I’m sure they won’t because these morons somehow back their way into deal after deal to keep this mess going another six months, they’re going out as only they can: with no idea of how to run a good show, bad storytelling, stupid decisions, and the wrong people on top because those people think the fans care about them. This was a disaster and I absolutely hated it.

Results

Lashley b. Chris Mordetzky via DQ when the GFW roster interfered

Brian Myers/Trevor Lee b. Wolves – Lee pinned Richards after a briefcase to the head

Bobby Roode b. PJ Black – Roode Bomb

Bram b. Kenny King – Brighter Side of Suffering

Ethan Carter III b. Matt Hardy – Sunset flip

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2009
Date: August 23, 2009
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,129
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

Not a lot has changed in the last year other than some names have risen up the card. Jeff Hardy is the Smackdown Champion and is defending tonight against the on fire CM Punk who is now a heel, bragging about how great he is due to being straightedge. We also have Orton vs. Cena #875 although only their second match here at Summerslam. It’s a decent looking card on paper so let’s get to it.

The opening video is set up like a movie theater, but DX takes it over by making shadow puppets on the screen. Shawn wins by putting up Abraham Lincoln. They finally break the projector but Shawn says he can fix it. He turns it into a DX highlight video but breaks the camera one more time.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Rey is defending after a long but awesome feud with Jericho. Ziggler pounds him down into the corner before getting two off a powerslam. Dolph throws him over his shoulders to the top but Rey bounces off with a moonsault press for two. Out to the floor and a cameraman is taken out via I think a hurricanrana. Back in and Ziggler catches (kind of) a rana off the top in a buckle bomb for two to take over.

We hit the chinlock before Dolph gets two off a side slam. The jumping elbow gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. Back up and Rey drop toeholds him into the corner before, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline for another near fall. A fireman’s carry gutbuster gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. Rey fights up again and hits a hard kick to the head for a near fall of his own. Dolph comes back with a dropkick to take down a flying Mysterio for two more as these covers are getting very hot.

Back up and Rey tries to roll up Ziggler’s body into a sunset flip but Ziggler falls onto him for two. A wicked clothesline gets two more for the challenger but Rey kicks him into 619 position, only to have Ziggler drop to the floor. Back in and the Fameasser gets two for Dolph but Rey gets the same off a sunset flip.

Rey hits a kind of tornado DDT for two more and an armdrag sets up the 619 but Ziggler avoids the springboard splash. Ziggler gets a quick near fall off the miss and the fans are split on who to cheer for. A kick to Rey’s head sends him to the apron so Ziggler loads up a top rope gutbuster, only to have Rey counter into a hurricanrana in mid air to retain the title.

Rating: B+. Excellent opener here with Ziggler being able to go move for move with one of the best high fliers of all time. It was clear that Dolph was going to be a big deal and this was a great example of why. Rey was on fire at this point but he would be derailed by a Wellness violation a few weeks later, forcing him to drop the title to John Morrison.

Jack Swagger and MVP are in the back. Swagger says his match with MVP tonight is a culture clash between the All American American and an ex-con. MVP is nothing but a stepping stone but MVP says he made some bad decisions. Tonight he’s teaching Swagger a lesson and the teacher is an MVP.

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

MVP jumps over Swagger in the corner and hits a quick clothesline for two to start. Swagger rolls to the floor to avoid the Ballin Elbow, only to be caught by a suicide dive. Back in and Swagger gets in some shots to the ribs to take over followed by a forearm to the back. MVP counters another shot with an elbow to the face, only to get caught in an abdominal stretch.

A hard clothesline puts MVP down for two and it’s off to a camel clutch. MVP stands up and breaks the hold with an electric chair for two. This is really basic stuff and the fans aren’t all that thrilled. Back up and MVP pops him in the jaw with a right hand, setting up the Ballin Elbow for two. A big boot in the corner sets up the Playmaker for the pin on Swagger.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t even that bad but it was very dull. Neither guy did anything special out there and it was about six minutes of boring, yet acceptable, wrestling. Swagger would go on to a world title the following year for reasons no one can quite fathom while MVP would do nothing of note for the rest of his WWE run.

Luke Perry is here.

Video on celebrities guest hosting Raw. Did we really have to relive this stupid idea?

Nancy O’Dell from Access Hollywood is here to talk about her ALS charity. No one cares. At all. She interviews Freddy Prinze Jr., one of the recent guest hosts. O’Dell sounds like any other celebrity who has never watched a wrestling show before.

Tag Titles: Chris Jericho/Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme

Jericho and Show (I can’t stand those combined names) are defending and the belts are unified at this point, meaning the champions have two belts apiece. Jericho says he and Show are the real celebrities here tonight and that’s about it. JTG (how is he still employed in 2013? Seriously, I want an answer to that) starts against Jericho and a nice flip neckbreaker gets two on Chris. A quick Walls attempt is countered and JTG hits a middle rope leg lariat for two.

Todd Grisham: “They bring the right kind of flava eh JR?” JR: “Flava? Like barbecue or cheddar?” Off to Big Show who knocks JTG into the corner and puts on a hard headlock. JTG gets up a pair of boots in the corner before bringing in the much bigger Shad Gaspard. Jericho charges in but gets caught in a gorilla press. The distraction is enough to let Show run Shad over to take control again. A hard chop in the corner puts Shad down and it’s back to the Canadian.

Shad gets in a jawbreaker but Jericho is smart enough to knock JTG to the floor before there’s a hot tag. Show puts on a full nelson but throws Gaspard down to bring Jericho back in. We hit the chinlock before Shad fights up and hits a powerslam to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in JTG but the fans don’t care at all. Everything breaks down and a clothesline sends Shad and Show to the floor. JTG is put in the Walls but makes the rope, only to be knocked out by Big Show to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but I don’t think anyone believed the titles were in jeopardy. Cryme Tyme was a fun team (on occasion) but most of the time they were jobbers to the stars. Jericho and Big Show at least gave the tag titles some fresh life for a few months so I can’t complain about them all that much. The match was standard stuff though.

Punk has a screenplay called the Jeff Hardy Story. In the movie, Jeff survives and beats Punk tonight in the TLC match. That’s as phony as everyone here in LA, where the only real person is Punk himself. Punk goes on a rant against America’s obsession with cool pop culture and says no one makes movies about him because he doesn’t support the Hollywood lifestyle. Punk is FEELING IT here.

Kane vs. Great Khali

Here’s a Wrestlemania rematch that no one was asking for. Kane is the heel here and has attacked Khali’s brother a few times before this. Khali shoves him into the corner to start and throws Kane out to the floor. Back in and Khali clotheslines him down but misses a legdrop, allowing Kane to hit a low dropkick for two. Both guys break up chokeslams and Khali takes over again.

He pounds Kane on the mat for two and hits a hard chop in the corner. Khali charges (and I use that word loosely) into a boot in the corner, allowing Kane to hit the top rope clothesline for two. We hit the chinlock before Khali makes a slow motion comeback and chops Kane down for two. Kane pulls Runjin Singh (Khali’s brother) in and the distraction lets Kane dropkick Khali’s knee. A bad looking DDT is enough for Kane to get the pin.

Rating: D-. Erg why do they keep doing these battles of the giants when they know they’re going to suck? Khali was getting so slow at this point and it was easy to see where the insults about his abilities were coming from. Kane would float around for most of the next year until he saved Undertaker and won the world title as a result.

Slash, Robert Patrick and Maria Menunos are here.

We recap DX vs. Legacy. Rhodes and DiBiase had been destroying HHH for months so he made a call to Shawn. HHH then had to get Shawn out of his job as a short order cook (don’t ask) and tonight is the big reunion match against Legacy.

Legacy vs. D-Generation X

DX comes in on a tank, trailing behind a bunch of soldiers on an Army jeep. Ok points for an AWESOME entrance. HHH starts with DiBiase as Ted fires off right hands in the corner. They have even less effect than you would expect so HHH suplexes him down and drops a knee for two. Off to Cody who walks into the high knee to the face from the Game and slaps Shawn as a result. Shawn gets the tag to a big pop but gets slapped again after running the ropes a bit.

Fed up, Shawn tackles Cody down but gets pounded in the face a few more times. Shawn comes back with a Thesz Press and right hands to another big reaction. The Band is tuned up but Cody bails to the floor and comes back in to a headlock. A belly to back suplex puts Shawn down and it’s off to DiBiase to keep up the punching motif. Ted slams him down to stay on Shawn’s back but Michaels gets a quick neckbreaker for a breather.

The hot tag brings in HHH to clean part of the house but Cody breaks up a Pedigree attempt. Everything breaks down and HHH backdrops Michaels over the top and onto Cody. Ted gets in a cheap shot on HHH to take over, meaning we’re in for a long one here. Legacy takes over o the Game in the corner and the double teaming begins. DiBiase hooks a long chinlock, but HHH keeps fighting to get to Shawn. See how easily that can be done? Instead of just laying on the mat until it was time for the comeback, HHH is constantly moving and trying to keep the fans alive. That’s such a lost art and it’s rather sad.

Anyway HHH suplexes out of the hold but Cody comes in with a DDT to stop the tag to Michaels. Off to a front facelock and of course this time HHH lays on the mat after I praised him for one of the few times after the year 2000. HHH powers out of the hold but DiBiase breaks up another hot tag. You know HHH isn’t going to stand for that for very long so he launches Ted over the top and out to the floor and finally makes the tag to Shawn.

House is really cleaned now with Shawn picking Rhodes apart. The atomic drop sets up the flying forearm but DiBiase breaks up the nipup attempt. Everything breaks down and HHH sends DiBiase into the stands as Cody goes up, only to miss a top rope elbow. Shawn loads up his own elbow but gets crotched down onto the buckle. He can still block a superplex though and now the elbow launches, only to hit Cody’s knee. Shouldn’t that hurt the leg a lot more than Shawn?

There’s no DiBiase to tag so Shawn gets up and puts on a Figure Four, only to have DiBiase make the save. HHH can’t hit a Pedigree as Cody takes him down and actually hits Cross Rhodes on Shawn for two. Now a Pedigree connects on Cody but DiBiase hits Dream Street (cobra clutch slam) on Shaw. HHH and Ted fight on the floor as both guys are down in the ring. Both guys get up at the same time and it’s Sweet Chin Music to knock Cody senseless for the collapsing pin from Shawn.

Rating: B+. Another excellent match here with all four guys working the tag team formula to perfection. Shawn continues to be able to time a comeback like no one ever could and HHH was clicking tonight. Legacy looked great and would actually beat DX in the next month’s match. I was surprised by how well the rookies looked here and DX actually had to sweat a bit here. I wouldn’t say they were in jeopardy but it wasn’t an easy win by any stretch.

ECW Title: Christian vs. William Regal

Christian is defending. Remember Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry going 32 seconds last week? This is a quarter of that as Christian grabs the Killswitch as Regal is taking his robe off for the pin to retain.

Post match Regal’s heavies Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson lay out Christian so Regal can put on the Regal Stretch.

Video on the Summerslam festivities in Los Angeles.

We recap Orton vs. Cena. Orton has dominated the year and Cena is the latest guy to try to take the title. Not much here but do these two really need a backstory?

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending. Cena takes him down with a front facelock but Orton counters into a hammerlock. Randy takes him into the corner and kicks at the ribs a bit, cuing a Cena comeback with rights and lefts. Orton comes back with an elbow to the face and his VERY slow stomping. This is the main criticism of Orton around this time: he wrestled in slow motion and it makes for very dull matches. The big knee drop to the chest gets two.

Cena comes back with some right hands but walks into the backbreaker for two. We hit the chinlock and the dueling chants begin. Cena finally powers up and initiates his finishing sequence. The Shuffle connects but Orton escapes the FU into the powerslam (NOT A SCOOP SLAM COLE, YOU STUPID STUPID MAN!) for two. Orton misses a knee drop but Cena’s shoulder block only hits air, sending him out to the floor. The Elevated DDT is good for two as Orton keeps things slow.

Cena gets in another shot and pops up top for the Fameasser, good for two. Orton grabs the ropes to block the FU and a double clothesline puts them both down. They slug it out with Cena taking over and speeding things up, but Orton shoves the referee for the LAME DQ. To be fair though it was the first fast paced thing he did all match.

Lillian, Rhodes Scholar that she is, calls Cena the new champion before saying Vince gave her word that the match restarts and if Orton gets DQ’d again he loses the title. This would be an entirely pointless bit that stopped the match cold. Back in and Orton takes over before whipping Cena into the steps. Orton slams him down and goes to get the title and walk out. We get the same announcement and the match continues again.

Back in and the STF, RKO and FU are all countered and Orton grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes for the pin. As you might expect, we’re STILL not done as a second referee comes out and tells the first what happened. So on the third restart Cena puts on the STF but a “fan” runs in for a distraction, stopping things cold again. Cena walks around with his hands on his hips but Orton comes in and hits an RKO to retain the title. For real this time.

Rating: D. On top of the INSANE overbooking, the match was really boring with Orton being his usual slow self. These two would feud forever and trade the title back and forth. The matches would get better but people were sick of seeing them fight at the end. This match was a great example of how overthinking can screw up a match. Brett DiBiase was the fan but that was never acknowledged on TV and I don’t think it was ever addressed again.

We recap the main event. This is a pure culture clash with Jeff Hardy being the free spirit and Punk being the serious straightedge guy who lives a very strict life. Punk cashed in MITB against Hardy at Extreme Rules but Jeff won the title back two months later. This gets the music video treatment with a song featuring lyrics of “I don’t want to be like you.” Nice touch.

Smackdown World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk

TLC match here. They fight over a lockup to start until Punk takes him into the corner for some knees to the chest. He stomps Hardy down and throws him to the floor before grabbing the first chair. A shot to the ribs and back allows Punk to go up but Hardy makes a quick save. Hardy stomps him down in the corner and hits the slingshot dropkick before going up. This time it’s Punk making the save but Hardy sends him into the ladder to put both guys down.

Back up and Hardy loads up Poetry in Motion but Punk drops him onto the open chair to take over. A series of ladder shots to the back have Hardy in big trouble. Punk sends him to the floor and hits a suicide dive but misses a chair shot. Hardy sends him into the post and gets in a chair shot to the elbow to take over. This is a slower paced match so far which is usually the best way to go about TLC matches. Now Poetry In Motion hits against the barricade and Punk is in trouble.

Hardy puts him on a table but Punk moves before Hardy can splash him through it, sending Hardy down in a big crash. We get another ladder in the ring as JR calls this a carcinogenic match. Punk goes up but Jeff literally jumps over him to go after it himself, only to get caught in an electric chair, only to counter that into a sunset bomb to put both guys down. The champion goes up first but Punk shoves him onto the corner in a SCARY landing with Jeff’s leg hitting the rope.

Punk says on him with a superplex onto the ladder in another cringe inducing landing. Somehow Jeff snaps off a quick Twist of Fate but the Swanton hits knees. Punk hits the running knee in the corner but the bulldog is countered by Hardy throwing Punk over the top and through a table. Jeff starts to climb but Punk is back up to dropkick Hardy off the ladder. They head outside with Punk’s knees being sent into the steps, allowing Hardy to go NUTS on Punk with a chair.

Hardy loads up a table next to the ring and this Punk in the head with part of the announce table and a monitor. A chair shot puts Punk down again as Hardy is in full control. Jeff sets up the big ladder and hits an INSANE Swanton Bomb through Punk through the announce table. That looked NUTS but the crash was great. Both guys are checked on as the stretcher is brought out. Hardy is taken out but Punk is crawling towards the ladder. Jeff gets off the stretcher and goes after Punk, only to be kicked off the ladder in another big crash, giving Punk the title.

Rating: A-. This was an excellent war with a great story being told: Punk played it safe while Hardy lived for the moment and lost the title as a result. The Swanton spot looked amazing and it was the last straw for Hardy as he just couldn’t keep getting up from all these crashes. Awesome match here and a great bit of storytelling.

Punk stands over Hardy with the title in the air and the lights go off. A gong strikes and the lights come up with Undertaker in Hardy’s place. He hits a huge chokeslam on Punk and poses on the stage to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. There’s some bad stuff on here but the good stuff far outweighs it. Its biggest problem is the Orton vs. Cena match which was slow and dull leading up to the STUPID ending. The other big matches delivered though and the opener is excellent. The show is worth watching, but pop in the Cena vs. Orton match from Breaking Point instead. Good show here that could have been a classic with a better Raw Title match.

Ratings Comparison

Dolph Ziggler vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A-

Redo: B+

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

Original: C

Redo: D

Chris Jericho/Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Kane vs. Great Khali

Original: D+

Redo: D-

D-Generation X vs. Legacy

Original: A

Redo: B+

William Regal vs. Christian

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: D

CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: A

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A-

Redo: B

The Cena vs. Orton match carries or sinks this show depending on how you look at it.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/12/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2009-punk-in-another-main-event-3/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, make sure to check out the Wrestling Bundle, which wraps up Sunday August 23 at midnight EST. Here are the details:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/08/16/the-wrestling-bundle/

Summerslam 2008
Date: August 17, 2008
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 15,997
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

For the first time in a few years, it feels like we’ve got a big card tonight. It’s a double main event with Undertaker vs. Edge inside the Cell and Cena vs. Batista for the first time ever. I remember being very fired up for this show when it first aired so hopefully it lives up to the hype after some very lackluster entries the last few years. Let’s get to it.

The theme this year is that this is the ultimate summer blockbuster. I’ve heard worse. This shifts into your standard opening video.

It’s another good song here with Ready to Roll by Jet Black Stare.

We run down the card because you might have ordered the show blind or something?

MVP vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff is in the middle of the biggest story of his life, as he’s been chasing the world title all year. This resulted in one of the highest number of buys ever for the Rumble, yet he’s opening the show here in a midcard match. Makes sense in WWE world I guess. There isn’t much of a story here other than MVP has been messing with Jeff lately. Hardy starts with two right hands to send MVP to the floor and there’s a whip into the barricade. Back in and a slingshot legdrop gets two for Jeff and we hit the armbar.

MVP makes the ropes and the referee has to keep pulling Jeff out of the corner. Jeff eventually gets free and charges right into a snap belly to belly for two. MVP kicks him in the back and puts on something like a crucifix hold before rolling over into a camel clutch. Off to something like a side leg bar but MVP eventually lets it go. Jeff goes tot he apron but MVP knocks him out of the air to break up a springboard, getting two.

Jeff is put in the Tree of Woe so MVP picks him up and slams the top of his head into the mat. That’s a new one. MVP loads up something like a Gory Bomb but Jeff slips down the back and neckbreakers his way to freedom. The slingshot dropkick in the corner is countered by two feet to Hardy’s chest but Jeff avoids the Drive By kick in the corner. A sunset flip gets two for Jeff and the Whisper in the Wind puts MVP down again. Cue US Champion Shelton Benjamin to distract Hardy from the Swanton, allowing MVP to move. The Drive By kick is good for the pin on Jeff.

Rating: B-. Summerslam almost always has good openers and this is a good example. I never got into MVP like a lot of people did but this was a solid performance from him. Shelton had been involved with this feud as an accessory on Smackdown but it’s not exactly enough of a connection for the run-in here to work. Good match though.

Glamarella (Santino and Beth) is ready for their mixed tag winner take all match with Kofi and Mickie. Santino talks about the unibrow and how the tabloids love the new name for the two of them. Maria, Santino’s ex, is doing the interview so we get a stare down between the girls.

Intercontinental Title/Women’s Title: Glamarella vs. Mickie James/Kofi Kingston

Mickie and Kofi have both belts coming in but the winning team walks out with all the gold. Kofi is still relatively new here and has only won the IC Title once, as opposed to his 89 or so reigns now. The girls get things going with Beth easily overpowering James. Mickie comes back with some quick dropkicks for two before it’s off to Santino. James easily monkey flips him over before it’s off to Kofi for some of his usual stuff. The jumping punches in the corner have Santino on the floor where Beth yells at him.

Kingston loads up a charge but hangs on, only to send Santino jumping into Beth’s arms. Kofi pulls him back in but gets his neck snapped across the top rope for one. Beth beats on Kofi for a bit before bringing Santino back in for his basic offense. A suplex sets up a chinlock but Kofi fights up and butts heads with Santino, allowing for the double tags to the girls. Mickie cleans house and clotheslines Beth down before snapping off her hurricanrana on Beth. Kofi comes in and misses a charge like an idiot but the MickieDT puts Santino down. Beth decks Mickie and hits the Glam Slam for both titles.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing special and could have been on any given Raw. I don’t know of a better way they could have gotten the title on Santino though so you can’t fault the for trying. Kofi would begin his long float in the midcard which would last for the next several years other than a cup of coffee in the upper midcard. The girls looked good here but that’s about it.

Santino gets on Beth’s shoulders to celebrate.

Video on Shawn Michaels’ eye injury. He may not be able to continue wrestling due to the eye and for the first time he’s listening to his doctors. If they tell him it’s too bad, he’s walking away.

Here’s Shawn with his wife for the announcement. Shawn talks about how his doctors have re-evaluated his eye and it looks like he’s going to have to walk away. He remembers his first Summerslam and since then the fans have let him become the Heart Break Kid and Mr. Wrestlemania. He’s also the guy who screwed Bret Hart (wasn’t that Hebner?), the man who formed DX, the man who lost his smile and the man who retired Ric Flair. Now though he can be a full time husband and a full time father…..and here’s Jericho, the man who injured Shawn’s eye.

Jericho, currently an awesome heel rocking a suit, says that he’s not accepting this. Shawn isn’t leaving due to an eye injury on his own terms. He wants Shawn to admit that he’s walking away because of what Jericho did to him and nothing else. Shawn gets serious and says to get out of the ring but Jericho wants to hear that Shawn is leaving because of him. Shawn needs to admit it to his wife, his children, himself and to Jericho. All of Shawn’s accomplishments don’t matter because the epitaph of his career will be that he was forced to walk away because of Chris Jericho.

Shawn says he’ll admit it and tell his wife and kids what Jericho wants to hear on one condition: if Jericho goes home to his wife and kids and tells them that he never could be Shawn Michaels. BURN! Shawn goes to walk away but Jericho swings, only to hit Shawn’s wife, knocking her out cold. What a man that Shawn is, ducking when his wife was behind him. You know it’s on at Unforgiven now and the fans are eating this stuff up. This was the feud of the year in 2008 and there’s no arguing that.

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy

Matt earned the title by doing something not important enough to explain to us. These two teamed up on ECW with Mark attacking his partner, injuring his ribs. Mark hits a quick forearm to the back but misses a charge, allowing Matt to hit the Twist of Fate, drawing in Henry’s manager Tony Atlas for the DQ 30 seconds in.

Jeff Hardy comes out to make the save and the Hardys suplex Henry.

We recap CM Punk vs. JBL. Punk cashed in the MITB case a few weeks ago on Raw to bring the World Heavyweight Championship to Raw. JBL bullied Punk and called him a footnote in wrestling. It’s a basic story but sometimes that’s the best idea, which is the case here.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Punk was basically a glorified midcarder at this point but his time would come. JBL shoves Punk into the corner to start and a hard shoulder puts the champion down. Punk comes back with a flying forearm to send him to the outside and a suicide dive fires the fans up even more. Back in and a high cross body gets a one count for Punk but another shoulder block puts him down. Punk tries to go up, only to be taken down by a middle rope fall away slam for two.

JBL goes after the back and we hit the bearhug. This is a basic big guy vs. little guy formula so far but again there’s nothing wrong with that at all. Punk fights out of it as the fans are getting rowdy. We stay on the back as JBL continues his basic power offense. Back to a side grip on Punk’s ribs on the mat before we go old school with an abdominal stretch. Punk fights out and hits the knee in the corner/bulldog combo but the ribs give out on the GTS attempt. JBL takes him back down and drops some elbows for two.

The clothesline misses and Punk starts firing off his strikes, hitting a high kick to the head for two. A springboard clothesline is countered into a powerslam for two and JBL yells at the referee a lot. Another clothesline attempt from JBL is countered with a leg lariat to put both guys down. They hit heads as JBL fell and Punk is busted open from the back of his head. Layfield blocks another knee/bulldog combo by putting Punk on the buckle for a belly to back superplex. There much be something really wrong because Punk pops up and hits a quick GTS to retain. Oh yeah there’s a BIG blood spot from where Punk was laying on the mat.

Rating: C+. This needed a few more minutes but with a legit cut that bad you have to go home in a hurry. Obviously Punk was going to win the entire time so it’s not like the ending was changed that badly. What we did get was good stuff with a basic story that is going to work time after time and did so here.

We recap HHH vs. Great Khali. Again not much to say here: HHH won the Smackdown Title and dominated for a few months until Khali was one of the few challengers he had left. Again it’s your basic hero vs. monster but the question coming in is can HHH Pedigree Khali. He tries for weeks leading up but never could pull it off.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Great Khali

The Game is defending. HHH is a very tall man in his own right and is probably a foot shorter than Khali. The champion pounds away but has to stick and move to not get killed. That doesn’t blow HHH’s skirt up though so he tries the Pedigree. Khali easily grabs HHH and hits his Punjabi Plunge (two handed chokeslam finisher) but doesn’t cover. Instead he loads up his Vice (head squeeze) but HHH kicks at the long legs to escape. A chop block puts Khali down and out to the floor where his manager Runjin Singh tries to calm him down.

HHH, ever the bright guy, charges at Khali again and is chopped down with ease. Back inside and Khali pounds away with some elbows in the corner to drop the champion. The fans tell Khali that he can’t wrestle as he puts one foot on HHH for a cover. Off to a nerve hold by the challenger followed by a slam and legdrop. Back to the nerve hold for a bit before HHH fights up and hits the facebuster. It doesn’t put Khali on the mat but it does tie him up in the ropes.

Khali will have none of this being in trouble though as he lifts up his boot to kick HHH down before freeing himself from the ropes. Back up and HHH tries the Pedigree again, only to be backdropped out to the floor. A hard chop puts HHH down again and as they come back in there’s the vice grip again. HHH almost breaks the hold but Khali gets it back on for a few more seconds. A charge misses the champion in the corner and he FINALLY hits the Pedigree to retain the title.

Rating: C+. This match, while slow, was a great example of psychology in a wrestling match. HHH knew that there was only one move he could use to hurt Khali and give him a chance for the win so it was the only thing he tried for most of the match. This was HHH working around someone and it worked quite well as HHH is a very talented wrestler, which unfortunately is often forgotten.

We recap Cena vs. Batista. Cena accidentally punched Batista in a tag match on Raw, triggering a brawl between the two. It became exactly what it should have been: a showdown between the two guys who had carried the company for the last three years. This was one of the few dream matches they had built up for years and belonged as a PPV main event. Cena said he had been wanting this match for six years because he just didn’t know if he could beat Batista.

John Cena vs. Batista

Batista shoves Cena back to start before grabbing a headlock. Cena comes back with a quick slam and Batista stops to take a breather. A big clothesline puts Cena down and a Jackhammer gets two. Cena comes right back with a suplex of his own for two but Batista puts him down with a side slam. A quick FU attempt is countered and Batista goes after the leg. Off to a Figure Four on Cena (just like Flair, he puts it on the wrong leg) who can’t power out so we get a rope grab instead for the break.

Back up immediately and Cena throws Batista to the floor in something resembling an FU before collapsing down. Back in again and Cena fires off the shoulder blocks and the ProtoBomb to set up the Shuffle. The FU is countered again and Batista kicks him in the face to put both guys down. Batista drives shoulders into the corner and catches him in the spinebuster to put Cena down. Cena backdrops out of the Batista Bomb and hits a DDT on the leg to set up the STFU. Batista FINALLY crawls over and gets a rope to shock Cena.

Batista gets up and escapes another FU to hook a rear naked choke of all things. Cena fights out of a hold as well, only to get caught by a spear for a VERY close two. They’re in full on main event mode here and it’s getting very awesome. Cena counters a powerslam into an FU but can’t follow up due to exhaustion. It’s finally good for two so Cena goes up with nowhere else to go.

Batista is up as well and they slug it out on top with Batista being knocked to the mat. Cena tries the Fameasser but gets caught in a Batista Bomb…..for two, plus a neck injury that required three months off (I seem to remember that happening earlier but WWE said it was here). Not that it matters as Batista goes into Animal Mode and ENDS Cena with a Batista Bomb for the pin.

Rating: A-. This is exactly what it was supposed to be: the two top guys in the company going to war with only one left standing. It’s a great fight in the vein of Rock vs. Austin from back in the day. Almost no complaints here and it felt like a major match on a major stage. What else can you ask for here?

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Edge vs. Undertaker. They fought for the world title at Wrestlemania with Taker winning the title (duh) before Edge’s wife Vickie Guerrero stripped him of the title for using the Hell’s Gate, which was declared illegal. Edge won the title in a TLC match and Taker left for a bit, but Edge got caught cheating with his wedding planner (Alicia Fox). Vickie reinstated Taker and set up the Cell match here tonight. Edge got Mick Foley to try to find out how to beat Undertaker in the Cell (even though Foley lost) and was told to bring back the Rated R Superstar inside of him. Edge beat up Foley and was back.

Edge vs. Undertaker

It takes two minutes and forty five seconds from Taker’s gong to him slamming the Cell door closed. Edge fires off right hands in the corner but walks into a big boot. We head outside the ring so Edge can be rammed into the steel. A series of headbutts puts Edge down and Taker whips him hard into the steps. Vickie and company (La Familia) is watching in the back.

Back inside now but with steps involved as well. The Snake Eyes drop Edge on the steps but he blocks the big boot and sends Taker into the steps instead. Edge hits a spear to a seated dead man but doesn’t go for a cover. Instead he grabs a table but stops to knock Taker out with the steps to the head. Edge gets another table but doesn’t slide either of them into the ring. The table is set up on the floor instead but Edge has to fight out of a chokeslam attempt instead of sending Taker through it.

Now it’s chair time with Edge dropping Taker again. Here’s a third table but the first one actually brought into the ring. Edge pulls out a ladder as TLCHIAC continues. Another chair shot puts Taker down as we have a ladder, a table and steps in the ring. Three of the four things are used as Edge puts Taker on the table and picks up the chair before climbing the ladder. He drives the dead man through the table in the same spot he used on Foley a few weeks ago. Nice touch.

It’s only good for two though so it’s time for a Conchairto, only to have Taker grab Edge by the throat. Edge breaks free but gets caught in a big right hand to put him back down. A bit boot sends Edge into the cage and Taker crushes his head with the steps for good measure. Edge posts Taker to get a breather and uses the steps as a launching pad to knock Taker through the Cell. Taker’s arm is bleeding a bit.

They fight at the announce table before Edge is sent into the barricade to put him down again. Taker misses a monitor shot to the head, allowing Edge to crack him in the head with it instead. In the big spot of the match, Edge runs the announce tables for a big spear to Undertaker, putting both guys down. Edge can’t follow up so Taker wins a slug out and they head back inside, drawing some moderate booing. Back in and a ladder to the face gives Edge control again and a chair shot gets two.

Taker counters the spear into a chokeslam for a close two and Taker is getting frustrated. The Last Ride is countered by a low blow and an Impaler gets two. Back up and Taker loads up the Last Ride again but wants it through the tables on the floor. Edge slips over the top and hits the spear for a very close two. Now the Last Ride connects but Edge gets out at two.

Taker loads up a tombstone off the steps but Edge counters into an Edge-O-Matic onto the steps for two. Now Edge loads up Old School but Taker crotches him down and chokeslams him through the tables on the floor. Back in and Undertaker spears Edge down and breaks a camera over his head. A Conchairto crushes Edge’s skull and the tombstone finally ends this.

Rating: A. THIS is how you blow off a feud. Edge was completely destroyed at the end here with Undertaker hitting every big move he had and Edge not kicking out of them at all. These two had some great action all year long and the Cell is the best way to blow the whole thing off. Having it as a TLC match inside the Cell was fine and it made for a great main event.

Taker leaves but Edge very slowly gets up. The big man goes back inside and sets up the ladder before lifting Edge onto it. Taker throws in another ladder and climbs up next to Edge so he can throw the Canadian down through the mat. He raises his arms up and lights the hole on fire to end the show in a corny moment.

Overall Rating: A-. This was pretty awesome all around. The opener was good, one match didn’t count, the title matches were both decent to good and the main events both rocked. You could say the tag match wasn’t very good but it’s less than six minutes long and Santino makes it entertaining enough. This is one of the better shows they’ve had in the series and it’s well worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

MVP vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B

Redo: B-

Kofi Kingston/Mickie James vs. Glamarella

Original: D

Redo: D+

Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Great Khali vs. HHH

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Batista vs. John Cena

Original: A

Redo: A-

Edge vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: A-

Redo: A-

Yep, it’s still great.

Here’s the original idea if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/11/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2008-punk-as-champion-thatll-never-happen-again/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2001
Date: August 19, 2001
Location: Compaq Center, San Jose, California
Attendance: 15,293
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Much like last year, a lot has changed in the last year. For one thing the Monday Night Wars are over and the WWF has absorbed the other two major companies to form the superpower that they are to this day. At the moment though we’re in the middle of the Invasion war, meaning it’s WCW/ECW vs. the WWF. That’s your double main event tonight: Rock vs. Booker T for the WCW Title and Angle vs. Austin (in the Alliance) for the WWF Title. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a WWF themed music video for Bodies by Drowning Pool. That’s still the best live performance of a song I’ve ever heard.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Lance Storm

Storm is champion and is about to explain why there is no place for offbeat shenanigans around here but Edge cuts him off. Feeling out process to start as they trade hammerlocks and headlocks. A flapjack and dropkick put Storm down and Edge clotheslines him to the floor. Back in and Edge gets two off a high cross as the announcers bicker about the Invasion. Storm drapes Edge over the top rope and knocks him into the barricade.

Back in and Storm works on the ribs with some knees and a front suplex for two. The crowd is very hot tonight. The spear misses but Edge kicks away from the Mapleleaf and gets two off a small package. We see the WWF guys cheering Edge on from the locker room. Edge tries a crucifix but gets countered into a rolling senton for two. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Edge’s back before a backsplash gets two.

Off to an abdominal stretch from the champion but he’s too far away to pull on the ropes. Edge hiptosses out and sends Storm to the apron for a springboard clothesline but Edge catches him in a powerslam to put both guys down. They slug it out with Edge taking over via some clotheslines and a spinwheel kick for two.

Edge-O-Matic gets two and a hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb for two on Storm. They hit the ropes and Storm rolls through into the half crab. Edge finally makes a rope and puts the same hold on Storm as the referee is bumped. Here’s Christian who accidentally spears his brother, giving Storm two. Not that it matters as Edge pops up and hits the Edgecution for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. I liked this more than I should have but I’m a fan of both guys. This was a nice choice for an opener as it was very technically sound and gave the fans something to get excited for with a new champion. Not that the title changing means anything in the grand scheme of the Invasion but it’s not like anything really did.

Test says he didn’t turn his back on the WWF but vice versa. He praises the Dudleys and says they’ll take out Spike and the APA tonight. Test will show us what loyalty is tonight.

Chris Jericho calls Stephanie a big sl** and says he’ll beat Rhyno tonight.

APA/Spike Dudley vs. Test/Dudley Boys

Spike has the incredibly cute Molly (looking very good in blue) with him here. Test cost the APA the tag titles a few weeks ago due to them accusing him of being the Alliance mole. Bubba starts with Faarooq as Heyman calls Spike a bully. The Dudleys quickly double team Faarooq with the reverse 3D until it’s D-Von taking him down with a clothesline and back elbow. Off to Test who gets caught in the wrong corner, allowing for the tag to Bradshaw.

A powerbomb is countered by a Test backdrop and it’s back to D-Von to pound away in the corner. Spike comes in with a quick small package and rollup for two each on D-Von but Bubba gets a blind tag and LAUNCHES Spike onto the top rope to take over. Bubba comes in and stomps away in the corner before it’s off to Test to pound on the very pale Spike. D-Von pulls out a table but Spike saves himself from being thrown through it. Back to D-Von for a HUGE double flapjack from both Dudleys. I’m not a Spike fan but he could be in some very impressive crashes.

D-Von misses a middle rope splash and it’s hot tag to Bradshaw who meets Test. Faarooq comes in as well and the APA cleans house but D-Von breaks up the fallaway slam. A powerbomb puts Test down but Bubba breaks up the pin. The Dudley Dog is countered with Spike being launched through the table and here’s Shane McMahon with a chair to knock Bradshaw silly, giving Test the pin.

Rating: D+. Pretty pedestrian stuff here but I’ve seen worse. The majority of this was Spike getting destroyed and very little between the APA and the Dudleys. Test was the focus of this match which isn’t the most interesting idea in the world but at least they were trying. Shane running in is kind of questionable for a match at this level but he’s a loyal owner (of WCW) I guess.

WWF stars congratulate Edge on the title win but brags about getting a European Title match. Grandma calls but wants to talk to Edge. Christian isn’t happy.

Shawn Stasiak comes in to see Debra (Steve Austin’s wife) and thinks he should change his trunks. He was a pretty funny comedy guy who was trying to get noticed at this point but Debra throws him out.

Light Heavyweight Title/Cruiserweight Title: Tajiri vs. X-Pac

X-Pac is holding the more famous title and this is winner take all. Tajiri is the big crowd favorite but both guys are WWF wrestlers. X-Pac uses the referee to backflip out of a top wristlock. Tajiri takes him down with ease and hits a standing moonsault for two but X-Pac rides him on the mat and slaps him in the back of the head. A hurricanrana sends Pac to the floor and a big Asai Moonsault takes him down.

Pac pops right back up and crotches Tajiri against the post to take over. Back in and X-Pac puts on a surfboard but has to let it go to avoid getting pinned. X-Pac misses the Bronco Buster and gets caught in the Tree of Woe, setting up a baseball slide to the face. Another big kick to the head gets two for Tajiri. There’s the Tarantula by Tajiri but it doesn’t last long, as always.

Tajiri loads up a top rope hurricanrana but Pac kicks him off, only to have Tajiri pull him down into a kind of standing backslide pinning combination for two. A German suplex gets two on Tajiri but Pac sends him to the floor for a big flip dive. Back in and the X-Factor gets two and here’s Albert (Tensai, Pac’s stable mate). Tajiri hits the mist on Albert but gets hit low and the second X-Factor unifies the titles (for about two months).

Rating: D+. Well that happened. There wasn’t anything special at all to this title as the Light Heavyweight division means nothing at all and never did, making this a boring match that no one cared about. Foley summed up the division perfectly in a promo in a few months: “X-Pac hasn’t been around in a few months and I don’t think anyone noticed.”

A very confused Perry Saturn is looking for his love, Moppy (an actual mop) at WWF New York. Someone kidnapped her and her face is on a milk carton. This is one of the guys that was a coup in the Radicalz deal people.

Stephanie gives Rhyno a pep talk and she still can’t act.

We recap Jericho vs. Stephanie which went on for months with Stephanie sending Rhyno after Chris, resulting in him Goring Jericho through the Smackdown set. I’d still have loved to see a Jericho/Stephanie on screen romance with them insulting each other so much that they became infatuated with each other.

Chris Jericho vs. Rhyno

Stephanie is at ringside of course. Rhyno runs him over a few times to start but a cross body takes the big man down. A top rope elbow to the head drops Rhyno and a jumping back elbow to the jaw gets two. The Walls don’t work and Rhyno bails to the floor, sending Jericho to the top. Stephanie grabs his foot and the delay lets Rhyno get up and Gore Jericho out of the air to take over.

Back in and Rhyno drops the injured ribs over the top rope and stomps away like a good monster heel would. Stephanie adds a LOUD slap and Rhyno hooks a body scissors to make Jericho scream. Back up and Rhyno hooks an airplane spin of all things to set up a TKO for two. Off to a surfboard with a knee in Jericho’s back but Jericho fights up and gets a rollup for two. A suplex puts Jericho right back down and weakens the ribs even more.

Rhyno goes up top and misses a splash that would have missed even if Jericho hadn’t moved. A double clothesline puts both guys down to give us a breather. Back up and Rhyno charges into a boot to the face and Jericho hits a middle rope missile dropkick. Stephanie finally gets involved by distracting the referee so Jericho kisses her to the floor. The Lionsault kind of hits for two and the fans are surprised at the kickout. Rhyno comes back with a big spinebuster before putting on a Liontamer (not the Walls of Jericho. It’s a different move). Jericho finally crawls over to the ropes for the break but walks into a belly to belly which looks to set up the Gore. Chris dives out of the way to send Rhyno into the buckle, setting up the Walls for the submission.

Rating: B-. I liked this a lot more than I should have as it really wasn’t anything special. Jericho and Stephanie had some great chemistry that it’s almost impossible to not smile at their antics. Rhyno was a fine monster for Jericho to slay to make Stephanie even angrier and the match was better than I was expecting. Good stuff.

Rock torments Regal with catchphrases, sidesteps a charging Shawn Stasiak to send him running into a metal door, and leaves to get ready.

Hardcore Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

Rob took the title from Jeff at InVasion but Jeff stole it back on Raw. This is the rematch with the belt hanging above the ring, meaning it’s time to climb some ladders. Van Dam takes him to the start in a wrestling sequence but Jeff spins out into a standoff. Rob scores some kicks but misses a dropkick to give Jeff a breather. Hardy is hipblocked to the apron but he hangs on and does the same thing to send Rob to the floor. A big springboard dive takes out both guys in the first high spot of the match.

Both guys head towards the ladders but Jeff sends Rob into the barricade but misses a dive off the top. Rob drops a leg on the back of Jeff’s head to put him on the floor before getting the ladder. Hardy pops up again and runs the barricade to take him down before the ladder is inside the ring. With the ladder halfway in, Van Dam gets up on the barricade and jumps onto the bottom end of the ladder to send the top into Jeff’s face. Back inside and Jeff dives over Rob to send the top end of the ladder into Rob’s face for good measure.

Jeff drops his legs on Rob’s which is usually a cover but here just hurts. Rob puts him in the Tree of Woe and hits some shoulders to the ribs to take over even more. The ladder is placed on the bottom rope in the corner and Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder out of the corner to crush Jeff against the metal. A slingshot legdrop crushes Jeff against the ladder again but Rob can’t follow up. Jeff gets up first and baseball slides the ladder into Rob’s ribs to send him rolling up the aisle.

Hardy is the first person to go up top but Van Dam runs back to the ring and hits a top rope kick to bring Jeff back down. The ladder is placed on top of Jeff again for Rolling Thunder but Jeff gets back up in time to dropkick the ladder out from under Rob. A DDT plants Van Dam but he rolls away from the Swanton. The Five Star misses as well and it’s time for the slow double climb. Hardy is higher up but Van Dam sends him face first into the top of the ladder and superplexes him off the top of the ladder.

They both go up again but this time it’s Jeff with a sunset bomb to put both guys down. Jeff goes up again and grabs the belt but loses the ladder underneath him. Rob grabs Jeff’s foot but lets go, sending Jeff swinging back and forth. Hardy finally falls onto Van Dam before setting up the ladder again, only to have Van Dam shove it over and send Jeff into the ropes. Van Dam finally climbs up and pulls down the title for the win.

Rating: B. To the shock of no one, this was a solid match. There are certain gimmicks that are tailor made for certain people and it’s ladder matches for these two. It was a good brawl and the fans were way into it as both guys were big fan favorites. It’s not as good as some ladder matches but it still worked very well.

Shane gives Booker bookends made of announce tables. Seriously.

We recap DDP/Kanyon vs. the Brothers of Destruction. DDP had been revealed as the stalker of Undertaker’s wife Sara which was so far removed from his character that it wasn’t even funny. Kanyon and Kane were brought in because a goofy career midcarder vs. Kane somehow evens out Page vs. Undertaker. Oh and they’re both tag champions to make this title for title. Kanyon is US Champion for no apparent reason.

WCW Tag Titles/WWF Tag Titles: Undertaker/Kane vs. Diamond Dallas Page/Kanyon

Inside a cage to make sure the jobbers have no chance at all. The WWF guys have the WCW titles and the WCW guys have the WWF titles because CRAZY! Undertaker’s wife Sara drops the key to the cage down her shirt for safekeeping. The monsters dominate to start, shocking no one at all. Taker pounds on Page and Kane destroys Kanyon until DDP actually gets in a low blow and sends Taker into the cage.

The guys trade off opponents and Kane kicks Page’s head off as Taker destroys Kanyon. Kane powerbombs Kanyon into the corner as Taker rams Page into the cage. A big boot sends DDP’s head into the steel but Kanyon comes out of the corner to take Taker down. He hits a kind of Fameasser out of the corner to take Kane down but the Brothers sit up at the same time. Page and Kanyon go up top but Taker kicks Page down and tells Kane to let Kanyon go. Now it’s the Brothers against Page, two on one.

They take turns with running clotheslines in the corner and Taker hits a sidewalk slam for two. Kane yells at the referee in the corner as Taker pounds Page down. There’s a chain in the ring from somewhere and Taker whips Page in the back for fun. Kane is just chilling in the corner watching this. Taker tells Page he can leave and live, but if he ever looks at Sara again he’s dead. DDP tries to leave but gets chokeslammed off the top a few seconds later. The Last Ride ends the slaughter and gives the Brothers both sets of titles.

Rating: D+. So you the dominant team of former world champions beat a guy who is nothing like the successful character he portrayed a few years ago and his midcard comedic lackey. Thankfully this was only ten minutes long and Sara didn’t look bad. This finally ended Page’s destruction by Taker and Kane once and for all I believe.

Rock is having his injured ribs checked, steps aside to let Stasiak charge past him again, and tells the doctor he’ll be WCW Champion.

We recap Austin vs. Angle. Austin jumped to the Alliance because Vince McMahon was giving Angle too many hugs. Seriously, that’s what caused his heel turn. Angle became the great hope for the WWF and ran through the Alliance to get to Austin, earning this shot.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Kurt Angle

Angle jumps Austin in the aisle and the fight is on fast. This was an interesting characteristic for Austin: despite turning heel, he was still basically the same guy. He would fight anyone that challenged him and would go straight at them every time. That’s very rare to see in a turning wrestler, but Austin is a very rare kind of wrestler. The brawl stars in the aisle before they head into the ring for the bell.

The champion is in control in the corner but Angle clotheslines him down to take over. A cross body gets two for Kurt but Austin heads after the knee to get control. That involves going to the mat though and Angle picks the ankle for the ankle lock but Austin makes the rope. Steve sends Angle into the barricade to put Angle down again before suplexing him a few times back inside.

As he tries for his fourth suplex in a row though, Angle reverses into the Rolling German Suplexes to stagger the champion. Kurt hits a remarkable SEVEN straight suplexes to put Austin down, but the Angle Slam is escaped and Austin pokes Kurt in the eye. Austin nails a superplex and there’s a Stunner out of nowhere for two. A second Stunner hits but Angle falls out to the floor. Austin sends him into the post to bust the challenger open then does it again for good measure.

Back inside though, all of that beating just gets two. Since it didn’t work, Austin sends him to the post again to bust Angle open even more. Austin goes to drop Angle onto the announce table but Angle slides down his back and sends Steve over the barricade and into the crowd, only for Austin to grab Angle and suplex him onto the concrete. Back to ringside and Angle grabs the ankle lock but it doesn’t count out there. Kurt realizes this so he grabs Austin back into the ring to put the hold on again, only for Austin to grabs the rope.

Back to ringside again because we haven’t been there in awhile. Angle hits a release belly to belly suplex followed by a belly to back. We head back in and Angle actually hits his moonsault for a VERY close two. Austin grabs a Million Dollar Dream, his old finishing move, but Angle climbs the ropes ala Bret Hart at Survivor Series 1996 and Rock at Wrestlemania X7. However this time Austin kicks out but also hangs onto the hold as the psychology of that spot gets even deeper.

Angle finally makes a rope but he’s spent. There’s the third Stunner but SOMEHOW Angle kicks out again. Steve slaps him in the face which only fires Angle up enough for a quick Angle Slam for a very delayed two count. Austin has had enough of this and punches the referee but walks into a DDT from Kurt for no count. Here’s a second referee to count two, only to get a Stunner for his efforts. A third referee comes out and gets decked but Angle hits another Angle Slam. A WCW referee comes out and ends the match with a DQ, keeping the title on Austin and in the Alliance.

Rating: A-. This was a great war with both guys leaving it all in the ring. The match also made Angle look all the greater because Austin couldn’t beat him and had to get himself disqualified. This gave the WWF the hero that it was needing, which is the whole point of this match. Angle would get another chance in the future though, and all it took was kidnapping Austin, threatening to throw him off a bridge in Toronto and throwing him in a kid’s pool.

Angle destroys the WCW referees post match.

JR goes into full I CAN’T SHOT SHOUTING AND SHAKING MY HEAD mode about how Austin can’t beat Angle.

We recap Rock vs. Booker T. Rock came back from making Scorpion King and affirmed his loyalty to the WWF by laying out Shane. Booker is his first opponent because…..well how else are you going to have Austin and Rock as world champions at the same time?

WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. The Rock

Rock has bad ribs coming in due to a Bookend (Rock Bottom) through a table. Rock fires off right hands to start but has to chase Shane around the ring. Booker jumps him coming back in but gets sent into Shane, setting up a Samoan drop for two. Things settle down a bit and Rock clotheslines Booker down before hooking a side roll for two. Rock wins a slugout and sends Booker out to the floor.

They head over to the announce table and Rock gets in a blatant low blow. Now it’s into the crowd with Booker sending Rock’s ribs into the barricade to take over. Back to ringside and Booker loads up the announce table but Rock comes back with right hands. Booker easily reverses a whip into the post and Shane takes off the turnbuckle pad. Back in (finally) and an elbow to the face gets two for the champion.

A knee drop to the face has Rock in trouble and Heyman wants a Spinarooni. JR: “It sounds like something from Chef Boy-Ardee.” We hit the chinlock for a bit before Rock comes back and hooks a Sharpshooter. Shane is pulled in again but Booker gets in a cheap shot for two. A slingshot into the exposed buckle has Booker in trouble and Rock gets two off a DDT. Shane puts a chair in the ring and picks up the WCW Title. The referee goes to get rid of the chair and Shane lays out Rock with the belt. This brings out the APA to lay out the Boy Wonder.

Both guys in the ring are down and Shane is knocked silly. His eyes rolled back in his head while laid out is a great visual. The Bookend lays out Rock but the referee is with Shane so the delayed cover only gets two. Rock’s clothesline and the belly to belly get two and there’s the People’s Elbow but Shane comes back in for the save. Shane gets a Rock Bottom on the floor (eyes open again) and Rock hits the spit punch on Booker, only to walk into a spinebuster. The ax kick sets up the Spinarooni but the Rock Bottom connects for the pin and the title for Rock.

Rating: B. The match is good but I doubt even Booker’s mama gave him a chance in this match. Overbooking the match helped and Booker didn’t look like a jobber or anything but at the end of the day it was fifteen minutes of killing time until the obvious ending. Still though, good match that got stuck being on after a classic.

Rock celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. For a period as bad as the Invasion, this was an excellent show. The world title matches were very good, the ladder match was better than I expected and there was some other nice stuff sprinkled in. Nothing on here is really bad at all and the crowd was hot all night. Good show here and worth seeing if you want a good way to kill three hours.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Lance Storm

Original: B

Redo: B-

APA/Spike Dudley vs. Test/Dudley Boys

Original: C

Redo: D+

Tajiri vs. X-Pac

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Rhyno vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B-

Redo: B

Diamond Dallas Page/Kanyon vs. Undertaker/Kane

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Steve Austin vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A-

Redo: A-

The Rock vs. Booker T

Original: B+

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: A-

About the same all around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/04/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-2001-summerslam-gets-all-alliancey/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 10, 2003
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We’re getting closer and closer to Wrestlemania XIX and in theory we should have the main events for Raw set by now, but for some reason we need Rock vs. Booker T. here to establish what has already been established. You can’t say WWE in 2003 was the most logical place in the world. Let’s get to it.

Bischoff is with the roster and tells them to not attack Austin any more as he wants this over. Rock strolls in and says the match with Booker isn’t happening because he doesn’t want the World Title. And there’s the bait and switch. Logical but still a bait and switch.

Christian/Chris Jericho vs. Kane/Rob Van Dam

Van Dam and Christian get things going with Christian getting kicked in the face to send him running over to Jericho for a tag. Chris has some better success (no surprise there) with a forearm to Van Dam’s head, only to spend too much time talking trash, allowing Van Dam to dropkick him out of the air. Off to Kane for the flying clothesline before it’s back to the starters for another kick from Van Dam. Rolling Thunder gets two as Jericho sends Kane into the steps. The Five Star hits Christian but Jericho nails the Lionsault as Rob is holding his ribs for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here due to the time but it was really there for the post match stuff anyway. These were the two best teams on Raw at the time, which says a lot about the way the show was set up. The match didn’t have time to go anywhere, but Jericho taking advantage of a downed Rob made perfect sense.

Jericho goes to leave but gets knocked back through the curtain by Sweet Chin Music. Shawn leans over Jericho and says he’ll see him at Wrestlemania. That’s one of my all time favorite moments to set up a match.

Here’s Booker T. with something to say. He’s disappointed that Rock doesn’t want to fight, but he wants to address what HHH said last week. HHH said that Booker T. was just here as an entertainer destined to lose. It’s true that he’s here to entertain these fans 24/7. JR: “What’s wrong with that?” Lawler: “Nothing sucka.” Booker talks about being the youngest of eight kids in a one parent household. He made a lot of mistakes and one of them put him behind bars for armed robbery.

Then he rose up out of that cell and decided to make something of himself. He starts mumbling and rambling and you can hear the fans losing interest. Finally he gets back to the point by asking HHH to come out here so Booker can dance all over his face, but here’s Flair instead. Naitch says Booker isn’t Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods or HHH and being in jail 19 months doesn’t make him anything. Booker has been dealt the biggest card of his career, but it doesn’t say World Heavyweight Champion (good line).

HHH didn’t want to lower himself so he sent Flair out here with a message: next week in the bright lights and big city of St. Louis (which isn’t as big as Cleveland), Booker T. can be their chauffeur. Or he can come out here next week and try to fight HHH and get the beating he deserves. That earns Flair a right hand and we go to a break. This story is already dead in the water as they’ve had to bail on the racism angle in the name of good taste, but Booker blew the big promo here with his rambling. Again though, this could all be redeemed with Booker winning the title.

Post commercial, Booker goes into the Evolution locker room where the champ tells him to give him a towel. Booker slams a door on HHH’s head for good measure. After another break, HHH tells Flair that Booker hit him from behind.

Jeff Hardy vs. Rico

The bell rings and we cut to the back to see Austin arriving. Rico takes over with some kicks and gets two off something like a Backstabber. The Whisper in the Wind drops Rico but Jeff dives onto 3 Minute Warning instead of following up. Not that it matters as Jeff rolls Rico up for the pin. Kind of a weird match, which is hard to do in ninety seconds.

HHH yells at Maven for being a wannabe and beats up a production guy. Maven doth protest and we have a match for later. Not exactly Rock and Hurricane from a few weeks back.

Stuttering Goldust tells Austin that Bischoff is looking for him.

Rock thinks his locker room sucks and that Lebron James is going to stay in Cleveland instead of coming here. He grabs the guitar and sings about how much he can’t stand this town (“Cleveland doesn’t rock but it totally sucks!”). Hurricane comes in and they’re having a match tonight. Rock likes the idea of superhero vs. superhero in the biggest match in the history of Raw. It’s No DQ, meaning all superpowers go.

Rock is going to use his x-ray vision, heat vision and cable vision. He asks what powers the Hambugular is going to use: throwing chicken nuggets? Hurricane promises to use the hurri-powers but Rock goes into a diatribe about how he isn’t scared of Austin. The green one brings up the Scorpion King’s tiny ding-a-ling. Rock: “Yeah and NO NO NO!” Rock goes to leave but gets in cheap shot first. Notice that Hurricane got in a bunch of good lines before Rock laid him out instead of HHH just treating Maven like a joke.

Trish Stratus vs. Jazz

#1 contenders match but Victoria comes in for the double DQ before Jerry can even get in a single puppy joke.

Here’s Bischoff in the ring for a chat. Last week he wanted Austin to be beaten into a bloody pulp but it was just his personal feelings talking. He’s sorry for firing Austin from WCW and thinking there was no future in him. After all, Bischoff is the reason Stone Cold happened right? Austin should come out here right now and bury the hatchet, so here’s Austin as per Bischoff’s request. After saying he finds Bischoff’s line of thinking funny, he flips him off instead of accepting a handshake. That shouldn’t surprise anyone but Bischoff didn’t seem to see it coming. I love overly confident heels.

Cue the Rock to save Bischoff and to spout some catchphrases, but Austin tells him to come down here and say it to his face. They trade some insults until Austin lays down and tells Rock to try and pin him for a change (burn). Austin isn’t leaving without beating someone up so he stomps Bischoff down. Rock, suddenly Bischoff’s best friend, comes down for a save but gets turned back by a hard stare.

HHH vs. Maven

Non-title. The beating starts early with HHH throwing him to the floor and sending Maven into the steps. A clothesline and choking have Maven in even more trouble before HHH stops the comeback with the sleeper. I really can’t believe he thought he could get that over in 2003. Two more Maven comebacks are stopped by a spinebuster and Pedigree to FINALLY stop this squash.

Rating: D-. We get it: HHH is better than Maven. I’m so glad we spent five minutes proving that point because we never would have known the truth otherwise. I mean, who needs a main event star who isn’t going to lose anything by mixing it up with a midcarder spending time putting someone over before they’re in a huge match in two weeks?

Al Snow comes out and gets beaten down for trying to help Maven. This is SO making me want to see more HHH. I mean, beating up jobbers and rookies? Sign me up!

Bischoff and Morely are annoyed with Austin so next week it’s a No Way Out rematch with Austin vs. Bischoff under Eric’s rules.

Stacy finds out that Test, out with an injury, is already at the Girls Gone Wild show.

Austin likes the idea and has Scott Steiner next to him for no apparent reason.

D-Von Dudley vs. Lance Storm/Chief Morely

Morely says that if D-Von wins the other Dudleys are back but if they interfere, they’re still suspended. Oh joy indeed. D-Von rolls Morely up for two and a DDT gets the same. Off to Storm who walks into a flapjack but gets D-Von over to the corner. Morely gets in a shot to the back, setting up a superkick and the Money Shot for the fast pin. So this feud CONTINUES!

It’s time for a wet t-shirt contest to set up the Girls Gone Wild pay per view this weekend. Naturally Jerry Lawler is hosting for Stacy Keibler and four random girls. Stacy sprays the girls, tells everyone to watch the show this weekend, and has Jerry spray her legs and, ahem, elsewhere. Total waste of time but Stacy looked good.

The Rock vs. Hurricane

No DQ. JR tells us to send the women and children to bed. Are they not allowed to see what should be a squash? Rock sends him into the corner to start and slaps Hurricane in the eye. Hurricane comes back with some right hands to send him outside before throwing him back in, only to get caught in a Samoan drop, earning Hurricane some polite applause. He puts on Hurricane’s cape but gets punched in the face again.

Rock takes Hurricane’s head off with a clothesline though, setting up a suplex for two. The beatdown continues in the corner and Rock pretends to fly because he’s that awesome. We hit the chinlock and Rock is AGHAST that fans think he sucks. Hurricane fights up and grabs a swinging neckbreaker but Lawler says he should just tap right now. They slug it out with Hurricane nailing a clothesline and a Shining Wizard followed by a high cross body for two.

Something like a Blockbuster gets two more but Rock hits the DDT and instantly nips up into the Hurricane pose. The Rock Bottom and chokeslam are countered (JR: “Hurricane is like a rash!”) so Hurricane kicks him low and hits the chokeslam for a delayed two. Rock plants him with the spinebuster but here’s Austin as the Elbow is about to drop. In the distraction, Hurricane grabs a rollup for the biggest pin of his career.

Rating: C+. And again, Rock proves why he’s better than HHH. I’m not saying HHH should have gotten pinned by Maven, but my goodness did we need to sit through a five minute squash which didn’t do anything other than prove that HHH, the World Heavyweight Champion, is awesome?

On the other hand, the Rock does a quick job for Hurricane, which no one other than Hurricane is going to remember in two weeks because Rock is in the main event of Wrestlemania. Rock gains nothing by winning here, but Hurricane looks like legit for one night and they pay off the feud between the two of them. It’s the difference between just HHH winning and everyone, including the fans, winning, despite Rock and HHH both being heels.

Overall Rating: D. Rock is trying as hard as he can out there but there’s just NOTHING around him to help pick up the rest of the show. What is the second best feud on this show? Shawn vs. Jericho I guess, with their ten seconds of interaction tonight. The rest of the show is just so uninteresting as only the main events matter at Wrestlemania and half of them are on Smackdown. Bad show here but Rock was trying really hard.  Oh and where did Booker T. go after he slammed the door on HHH’s head?  He just disappeared after that.

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