TNA One Night Only – Old School: As Old As Eleven Years Can Be
Old School Date: February 7, 2014
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
At least they advertised this one. This is the newest One Night Only show with a slightly more obvious theme. Looking at the card though, there isn’t much to see here that’s old school. Speaking of old school, as in something we’ve seen before, this show contains the fifth time that James Storm and Bobby Roode have been in direct competition against each other and their third singles match in just ten shows in this series. Come up with something new already. Let’s get to it.
By the way, I’m aware that this show if officially titled #oldschool. I’m going to assume you know why that’s stupid and why I’m calling it a name normal humans might use.
The opening video discusses the theme of reigniting old feuds. That’s better than the usual tournament, but I’m not sure Old School is the best name for that idea. It’s kind of misleading.
We’re already proving my point about the name: they’re using the word hashtag every time they say the name. It sounds so stupid and I can’t emphasize it enough.
The set is different again, but this time there’s a small lighted entrance for the guys to come to. It looks like the WWF set from the early 90s which isn’t a bad thing.
Austin Aries vs. Chris Sabin vs. Sonjay Dutt
These guys have actually feuded for years, dating back to the Austin Starr days, so they’re keeping up the gimmick through the first match. Tenay and Tazz get on my nerves about four minutes into the show, talking about what it means to be the best man that ever lived and implying three way escapades of a different sort. Sabin chills on the floor while Aries and Dutt run the ropes without much contact being made.
Sabin tells Sonjay he sucks and gets inside, only to walk into a Japanese armdrag from Aries who rides him on the mat for some humiliation. Austin lays on the top rope because that’s the kind of guy he is and all three guys are finally in the ring together. Dutt and Sabin double team Aries in the corner and take their turns charging at him, only to have Chris try a quick rollup to tick Sonjay off. Dutt does the same and there’s another argument to make sure we have every three way trope checked off the list.
Sonjay snaps off a hurricanrana on Aries as Tazz name drops Mike Adamle because commentary in TNA is a joke. Now it’s a Michael Cole reference as Tazz makes the only insightful comment he’ll give all night: he’s always paired with guys named Mike. Aries is placed on the top rope but Dutt and Sabin get in an argument over who gets to do the superplex. Austin fights them both off and we go WAY old school with a double noggin knocker. Both other guys are sent to the floor for a double double ax handle from A Double.
Back in and Aries hits a missile dropkick on Dutt but misses the running version in the corner as Sabin steps aside. Sonjay and Sabin get in another argument with Chris hitting a quick enziguri for two before Dutt sends him to the apron and kicks Aries in the face. Sabin is knocked to the floor and Aries hits a quick brainbuster for the pin on Sonjay.
Rating: C-. Pick a three way match that you’ve seen before, give it about eight minutes and you’ll have this match. It wasn’t anything special but that’s the kind of show you should expect with this series: something you’ve seen done better before but it’s what you’re in for with the reduced price.
Tommy Dreamer gives a serious promo on Bully Ray, talking about their history together and mentioning Ray invading Dreamer’s House of Hardcore show. He holds up a kendo stick and says he may not be Luke Skywalker and this may not be a lightsaber, but he’s cutting the evil fat out of Ray tonight. That may take a lot of carving.
Video on Ethan Carter III as the gimmick takes a nosedive.
Ethan comes out to call out an opponent as even the announcers realize that calling Ethan old school is absurd. The fans tell Ethan that he can’t wrestle and he chants back by alternating with “Yes I can” and “I’m very good.” He gets some cheap heat by making fun of the Yankees and says Dixie has allowed him to pick his opponent tonight.
Ethan Carter III vs. Dewey Barnes
So to clarify, we’re getting storyline development for a storyline that isn’t going on anymore on a theme show that almost no one is going to buy because TNA can’t put together a full card without this filler. Dewey comes from his other job at the merchandise table (he really does that at live events) but doesn’t want to fight. Carter pokes him in the chest and insults Dewey’s social status, which if finally enough for the redneck to fight. Barnes takes Ethan down by the legs but Carter rams him into the buckle and talks trash. The bulldog driver ends Barnes in just over a minute. I’m so glad this got PPV time.
With his back to the camera, Ray talks about meeting Tommy Dreamer back in 1992 and becoming close with him over the years. The word friend is unique in wrestling because Ray doesn’t have that many of them. Twenty five years later, Dreamer started his House of Hardcore promotion and invites Terry Funk instead of him and that’s just not how you treat a friend. We even get clips from House of Hardcore 2 with Ray invading and lighting a table on fire. Tonight Ray is going to beat Dreamer like you beat a friend of 25 years.
Bully Ray vs. Tommy Dreamer
This is falls count anywhere. Ray talks about ending Terry Funk’s career in this building and how he’ll do the same to Dreamer tonight. They stare at each other to start until Ray yells about Funk even more, earning him right hands to the face. Dreamer clotheslines him down but Ray takes him into the corner for some right hands. We get the Flip Flop and Fly from Tommy to send Ray outside as the fans are into this so far.
Tommy is sent ribs first into the barricade but Ray stops to yell at Hebner, allowing Dreamer to suplex Bully down on the floor for two. Back in and Ray counters a bulldog with a belly to back suplex before heading outside to get a table. Dreamer baseball slides it back into Ray’s face but Bully easily blocks a DDT attempt. A splash onto Dreamer on the table is good for two and it’s time for the chain.
Ray gets in another argument with Hebner, allowing Dreamer to get in some kendo stick shots for two. Tommy whips at the knee with the chain but Ray pokes him in the eye to get a break. Another table is sent inside but Ray finds a much more entertaining toy: a cheese grater. Ray tries his own Flip Flop and Fly but Dreamer takes away the grater and attack’s Ray’s crotch to be extra evil.
Tommy pulls out a piece of the barricade but Ray kicks it into his face to prevent further damage. Ray takes too much time going up top for some reason and gets caught in a Death Valley Driver off the ropes through the table for a close two. Dreamer goes up but gets hit in the ribs with a piece of barricade before being superplexed down onto the steel With nothing else to do, Ray pulls out another table and lighter fluid. Again it takes too long and Dreamer blasts him with a kendo stick before spraying the lighter fluid on the table. The distraction lets Ray hit him low and the Bully Cutter is good for the pin.
Rating: C+. This was the kind of match that they needed to have with a lot of time letting Dreamer seem like he had a chance. I’m still not wild on them using freaking House of Hardcore to set up a match at a TNA PPV but it’s not like TNA has anywhere else to build a story from.
Joe talks about his history in TNA and how he’s always answered the call when he had to. Tonight he gets a world title shot at Magnus, who he at least has a history with.
Here’s Eric Young with something to say. He says he’s very old school, which is actually true in his case. Young declares himself the president and gives us a gift of Velvet Sky. Eric calls her his favorite Knockout ever but begs us not to tweet it to ODB. Eric has a toast for the fans but Bad Influence interrupts. Mike: “You can’t interrupt the president!” Taz: “This is wrestling. Everyone interrupts everyone.”
Kaz says no one is more old school than they are and no one is hotter than Velvet Sky. They’re the best tag team in the Biz-A-Ness so you have permission to worship them. This brings out the Bro Mans to say that they’re new school and school is in session right now. Velvet isn’t a real woman, but the Bro Mans know what one is, so here’s Lei’D Tapa. Eric makes a six person tag and appoints himself referee.
Velvet Sky/Bad Influence vs. Lei’D Tapa/Bro Mans
Jesse and Daniels get us going with Christopher grabbing a quick headscissors. Daniels cartwheels over Godderz and pops him with a right hand before it’s off to Robbie who charges into an armbar. Kaz comes in with a kick to the back and an elbow drop for two before slamming Robbie face first into the mat for another near fall. Kaz misses a charge and falls out to the floor, only to have Robbie miss the same move and crash even harder.
Back in and Tapa wants Kaz but it’s off to Velvet to fire up the crowd a bit. Sky kicks away at the large leg but Tapa just shoves her away. Velvet blocks a charge coming into the corner but walks into a spinebuster to change control on a dime. The female looking one is sent across the ring for a tag off to Daniels who armdrags Robbie down with ease. Everything breaks down with Bad Influence cleaning house and sending the Bros out to the floor.
Things settle down again with the Bro Mans double teaming Daniels down and stomping away until Robbie drops a middle rope elbow for no cover. Tapa comes in and drops a leg on Daniels before dragging him over to the corner for a tag to Robbie. We hit the chinlock until Daniels fights up and scores with an STO, allowing for the hot tag to Kaz.
Kazarian speeds things up and cradles Jesse but adds a northern lights suplex on Robbie at the same time for a double near fall. Tapa runs over Bad Influence but Velvet takes her down with a cross body. Velvet is thrown over the top to crush Tapa again but Daniels has to escape a Bro Down. The High/Low out of nowhere is enough to get the pin on Jesse.
Rating: D+. Not bad, even though Eric meant nothing at all. Velvet did her thing here by looking hot on the apron and doing a few moves at the end to make sure people knew she was more than just eye candy. Bad Influence worked perfectly well as faces which says a lot about them given how awesome they are as heels.
Video on Monster’s Ball and how insane it can get.
Abyss vs. Jeff Hardy
Obviously Monster’s Ball, basically meaning hardcore. They actually shake hands to start before Abyss shoves Hardy down. Abyss runs him over again and stops a comeback attempt with a running clothesline. The first weapon brought in is a chair but Hardy knocks it out of Abyss’ hands and hits a quick mule kick. Poetry in Motion sends Abyss outside and a running clothesline off the apron drops both guys. Abyss is up first and bridges a table between the ring and the barricade as he’s done before.
Hardy fights out of the chokeslam attempt but is sent HARD into the post to put him down again. Back in and Abyss wedges a chair into the corner but Jeff blasts him with another chair to get a breather. That’s fine with Abyss who sends him face first into the wedged chair for two. Jeff’s forehead is cut open.
It’s thumbtacks time but Hardy fights out of another chokeslam attempt and snaps off some forearms. The legdrop between the legs has Abyss in some trouble and the Twisting Stunner puts him down again. Jeff goes up but Abyss pelts the chair at his head, knocking Hardy through the bridges table in a nice looking bump. It’s only good for two and the kickout doesn’t get the reaction they were hoping for.
Abyss heads outside again and brings in the spiked 2×4 called Janice. Hardy moves to avoid a bad case of death and Janice is stuck in the turnbuckle. The Whisper in the Wind COMPLETELY misses Abyss and the replay makes it look even worse. Jeff picks up Janice but walks into the chokeslam onto the tacks which is always a good looking spot. Jeff’s head landed in the tacks and he has to pull the tacks out. Awesome visual.
That’s only good for two as well though so it’s barbed wire board time. Hardy counters another chokeslam and dropkicks Abyss into the barbed wire. Jeff finds another barbed wire board and sandwiches Abyss between the two of them, setting up the Swanton for the pin despite the tacks still being in his back.
Rating: B-. This took time to get going but the ending was far better than I was expecting. The problem here was the lack of a reason for the violence. The guys didn’t really hate each other (they shook hands remember) so it was just violence for the sake of violence. Still though, good match and a nice surprise given what I was expecting. The tacks in the head was a sick thing to see too.
Kurt Angle talks about going old school (minus the hashtag because Angle doesn’t like sounding like a dolt) with Mr. Anderson tonight.
Video on Angle vs. Anderson which actually was one heck of a feud back in the day.
Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle
Anderson does a nice heel move by teasing throwing his shirt to the crowd but dropping it on the apron instead. Technical stuff to start with Angle taking it to the mat but getting kicked away into a standoff. Angle knocks Anderson into the corner and pops him with an uppercut, only to be send shoulder first into the post. Anderson goes after the shoulder with an armbar but has to escape an Angle Slam attempt and chop block Kurt down to the mat.
Mr. starts going after the knee now by cannonballing down off the ropes before wrapping it up in the corner. Off to a leg bar but Kurt punches him in the side of the head to escape. Anderson goes up but dives into a boot to the jaw to put both guys down. Some clotheslines by Kurt set up a German suplex but the Angle Slam is countered into the rolling fireman’s carry for two.
The Mic Check is countered into the ankle lock but Anderson rolls Angle out to the floor. Back in and Angle runs the corner for the belly to belly superplex and it’s back to the ankle lock. The same counter saves Anderson again and the Mic Check gets two. The Angle Slam connects a few seconds later for the abrupt pin.
Rating: C-. This was the abbreivated version of their match and the lack of time took away a lot of what makes these matches good. It also doesn’t help that there’s no personal reason for these two to fight other than they used to fight in the past, which is the general problem of this entire show.
Bobby Roode talks about his history with James Storm and how they were good friends but make better enemies.
Video on Roode vs. Storm. You all must know this story by now.
James Storm vs. Bobby Roode
Last man standing. A quick shoulder block gets three for Roode and it’s time for a slugout. Storm takes over with an atomic drop and a clothesline but Roode avoids two Last Call attempts. Bobby heads outside but gets suplexed in the aisle for a seven count. Storm sends him into the steps but and barricade before taking him back inside for an enziguri off the apron. Roode counters a suplex to the floor and dropkicks James into the barricade.
Storm is up at about seven and heads back inside, only to get caught in a Blockbuster for another close count. James fights up with kicks and punches followed by a Russian legsweep to put both guys down. Roode comes right back with a spinebuster but Storm is up at six. The Roode Bomb is countered into a Backstabber from Storm followed by the Eye of the Storm for about five. They head outside again for another kick from Storm but Roode gets up in time again.
The weapons are brought in with Storm putting a trashcan between Roode’s legs and blasting it with a crutch. Roode comes back with a hard clothesline but takes too long getting a trashcan ready and walks into the Last Call. Bobby makes it up at about 9.75 but the fans weren’t buying it because that was just one finisher. James sets up two chairs next to each other but Roode escapes the Eye of the Storm and Roode Bombs James onto the chairs for an eight count. With nothing else to do, Roode handcuffs Storm behind his back and cookie sheets/trashcans/beer bottles him down for the ten count.
Rating: C+. It’s a good match but much like Orton vs. Cena, the match has been done so many times that it’s almost impossible to care. This feud has used the same tropes over and over again and the interest just isn’t there for me anymore. It also doesn’t help that Storm almost never wins any of these matches, making him look even more like a choker and/or a loser.
Magnus says there’s an irony in the name of this show because he’s not old school at all. What is old school though is what it says on his title: wrestling. He’s a wrestler, meaning that he’ll beat Samoa Joe in a wrestling match where all of the rules are followed to the letter.
Video on the history of Magnus and Joe from being Tag Team Champions to the Mafia to Magnus’ heel turn.
TNA World Title: Magnus vs. Samoa Joe
Big Match Intros kill even more time before we get going. Joe takes him into the corner to start but the champion slaps him in the face like the evildoer he is. A right hand sends Magnus to the floor and he grabs the mic, saying that under British wrestling rules, closed fists are illegal. Magnus demands that Joe receive his first warning and apparently it’s two warnings for a DQ.
Back in and they fight over the arms as the announcers talk about ESPN reporters. Joe no sells an elbow to the jaw and runs Magnus over with one of his own before ripping his skin off with chops in the corner. A knee to the chest gets two for the Samoan and there’s the corner enziguri to set up the Face Wash. Magnus comes back with a running clothesline and throws punches in the corner for no warning. Outside now with the champion dropping an ax handle off the apron for two as the frustration is starting early tonight.
We hit the chinlock on Joe followed by another back elbow to the jaw and the second chinlock in a short span. Not exactly the most thrilling match in the world here. A HHH knee to the face drops Joe again but Magnus takes his time covering. Joe catches Magnus coming off the middle rope in an atomic drop followed by the snap powerslam for two. Magnus’ leapfrog is countered into a powerbomb into the Boston crab into the STF in the middle of the ring. Joe turns that into the Rings of Saturn but Magnus gets his foot on the rope.
Magnus comes back with a Michinoku Driver for two and the top rope elbow gets the same. With nothing else to do he goes and gets the title belt but Joe easily takes it away. That goes nowhere but Joe ducks a right hand a German suplexes the champion down. Magnus fights out of the MuscleBuster and counters the Clutch with a jawbreaker, bumping the referee in the process. Now the MuscleBuster connects and another Hebner slides in for two. Ethan Carter tries to interfere but gets rammed into the barricade, allowing Magnus to hit Joe with the belt to retain.
Rating: C. Not a bad match but the British rules thing went nowhere. It was fine for what it was and at least it gives a reason for the Ethan match earlier (he had a reason to be in the building for the main event). It’s nice that they actually gave the main event some importance but there’s still not enough here to hold much interest.
The traditional highlight package takes us out.
Overall Rating: C-. It’s not as good as Hardcore Justice 3 but this was fine for a One Night Only show. I can’t emphasize enough how much easier this company is to get through when Dixie Carter and the stupid power struggle isn’t taking up time. It’s still not great, but it goes from horrible to ok just like that, which is as good as you can get from TNA at the moment. The gimmick wasn’t terrible and thankfully they got it back on track after the second match. Nice show tonight but nothing worth going out of your way to see.
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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2009: Groundhog’s Day For The Main Event
Royal Rumble 2009 Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Tazz
This isn’t so much the Royal Rumble as much as it is HHH and Randy Orton are in a match and 28 other guys happen to be in the ring too. Other than that we have Edge challenging the NEW WWE Champion Jeff Hardy and Cena defending against JBL, who has Shawn Michaels and his crisis of conscience working for him at the moment. This wasn’t the best year for WWE so let’s get to it.
No intro video this year. That’s interesting.
ECW Title: Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy
Swagger won the title about two weeks ago and this is Hardy’s rematch. We actually get big match intros for this, which is a rare sight for an ECW Title match. Matt takes him into the corner to start before punching Jack in the face. Striker calls that a pugilistic endeavor to sound smart. Another punch sends Swagger to the floor and we head back inside for a clothesline from Matt.
Jack heads to the floor to hide after Matt swings again. Back in and Swagger takes Hardy to the mat and cranks on the arm a bit. Hardy comes back with a dropkick in the corner and a bulldog for two, only to go up and get shoved down to the floor. Back in and Swagger starts in on the arm but Hardy quickly escapes a key lock. A punch to Hardy’s arm blocks a clothesline and a big boot gets two for the champion.
Back to the key lock as Jack stays on the arm. He lifts Hardy off the mat by the arm a few times as the fans cheer for the challenger. Matt fights back but he’s basically fighting with one arm here. A bulldog puts Jack down for two and a middle rope elbow to Swagger’s back gets the same.
Hardy walks into a belly to belly suplex from Jack for two though and both guys are down. A DDT on the arm gets two for the champion but Matt blocks a belly to back superplex. Matt hits a decent looking moonsault for two and the fans are getting into these kickouts. The Twist is countered and Jack sends Matt shoulder and possibly head first into the post. The Swagger Bomb retains the title.
Rating: B-. Better match than I was expecting here with both guys looking good out there. Matt was getting close to being something decent as a singles guy and this was his way off ECW and onto Smackdown. Swagger would go on to win a world title and shock the world in the process before falling through the floor soon after. Solid opener here.
Orton arrives and gets glared at.
Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Melina
Melina is challenging and Beth has Santino with her here. Beth shoves her around to start before easily breaking out of a headlock. A LOUD Santino chant starts up as Beth throws Melina around. Melina comes back with a shot to the head but gets shoved down immediately again. The challenger hooks an armbar of all things but Beth easily stands up while Melina stands on her shoulder.
Melina gets on Beth’s shoulders again but Beth shoves her down in a crash. A running Umaga attack in the corner puts Melina down again and Beth is in full control. In a freaky looking move, Beth grabs Melina’s leg in a kind of ankle lock position and bends the leg forward to make Melina kick herself in the back of the head. FREAKING OW MAN! Melina escapes a gorilla press and fires off some forearms before getting two off a sunset flip. Two knees into Beth’s back have her staggered and a hair drag gets two. Out of nowhere, Melina grabs a spinning rollup for the pin and the title. As sudden as it sounds.
Rating: D+. Not terrible here and the girls looked good so I can’t complain much. That leg lock thing of Beth’s was SICK and it’s one of those moves that just looks painful all around. At the end of the day though, does it matter who has either of the female belts? They’re completely interchangeable and this one was retired the next year.
We recap JBL vs. Cena, which is basically the Shawn Michaels Story. Basically the story went that Shawn was crushed by the financial crash and JBL offered to hire him to help win the title. Shawn helped JBL win a #1 contenders match and the question is will he screw over Cena tonight and compromise his morals? There was a VERY real argument to be made for Shawn vs. JBL at Mania for the title, so this wasn’t a layup. The problem with this story is still there though: Shawn is a world class wrestler with the top company in the world….and he’s broke? He may have lost his savings but he’s not unemployed.
JBL tells Shawn is he wins the title tonight, Shawn is free with a huge payday and he can be in the Rumble tonight, which at the moment he isn’t. Bradshaw leaves and Taker shows up, saying that sometimes it’s a nightmare getting to Heaven.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
Cena is defending in case you skipped the previous parts. We get the big match intros here and even a weapons check for old times’ sake. Cena takes him to the mat with a headlock to start but JBL counters into one of his own. A shoulder block puts JBL down and out to the floor as we take a breather. JBL whispers something to Shawn before heading back inside for some clubbing forearms to the back.
Cena slams him down for two though and we’re still in the early stages. JBL heads to the floor again but this time Cena goes after him. He runs into Shawn though and stops cold, allowing JBL to get in a shot to take over. Shawn didn’t move at all. Back in with JBL in control and a standing clothesline gets two. Presumably that one was only from Hoboken.
Off to a chinlock from the challenger as we keep things at JBL’s slow pace. A side slam gets two on Cena and he rolls out to the apron. Layfield knocks him to the floor and then sends him into the stairs for two back inside. Cena fights out of a superplex attempt and hits the top rope Fameasser for two of his own. The champ initiates his finishing sequence with all of his usual stuff including the Shuffle. Shawn hasn’t been a factor in the first nine minutes or so of the match.
JBL escapes the AA but gets caught in the STF instead. Shawn starts grabbing the ropes but doesn’t do anything. Cena lets go of the hold anyway, allowing JBL to kick Cena to the floor. JBL’s Clothesline gets two so he glares at Shawn for some reason. A quick AA attempt misses and JBL kicks the referee down by mistake. The Johns double clothesline each other and it’s time for the big moment.
Shawn gets in the ring and is staring at both guys. Both guys get up and Shawn superkicks John. As in the challenger/him employer. He also kicks the champion/the guy he was hired to take out before leaving. Shawn puts JBL’s arm across Cena, causing the fans to chant for the champ. Another referee comes out and gets a two count for Layfield and both guys get up. Cena hits a quick AA on JBL to retain.
Rating: C-. The match itself was pretty dull but the drama worked well enough to make up for it. At the end of the day, JBL simply wasn’t good enough at this point to hang in a world title match. Cena had to tone it WAY down to let JBL keep up with him and it showed badly. Still though, Shawn more than makes up for it and would go on to have a masterpiece with Taker at Mania so all is well and good.
We recap Edge vs. Hardy. Hardy shocked the world (including me) at Armageddon by winning the title, but a few weeks later he started having a string of “accidents” including having pyro go off in his face and nearly getting killed by a crazy driver. Everyone blamed Edge but he denied responsibility. The question is who is behind all this stuff. Hardy hasn’t had a match that I know of in the meantime. I went to a house show during this period and Hardy didn’t wrestle.
Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy
Vickie makes it No DQ for no apparent reason and Chavo is in Edge’s corner because he’s familia. Jeff spears Edge into the corner to start and pounds away as fast as he can. The fans almost immediately start chanting WE WANT CHRISTIAN. Now remember that line as I’ll get back to it later on. Christian had left TNA and word hadn’t broken yet on if he had signed with WWE yet (I don’t think). Anyway, Jeff tries to bring in a chair but Edge kicks it out of his hands before it gets inside.
Hardy pounds away but Edge gets in a shot to take over for the first time. Edge sends him to the floor but can’t hit a baseball slide, allowing Hardy to hit a clothesline off the apron. Back in and Jeff tries a springboard but gets kicked down to the floor for the third time. Edge rams him into various hard objects including tables and the barricade and then another table.
We head back inside again with Edge in full control including a spear in the corner. Jeff grabs a quick two off a sunset flip but gets clotheslined right back down. Off to a body vice by Edge to slow things down a bit. Jeff fights up and hits a mule kick before going up top, only to jump into a dropkick from Edge for two. Now Edge goes to get two chairs but Jeff spears him down off the apron before it can be brought in.
Edge gets back to the apron but gets pulled down into a Twist of Fate onto said apron, sending both guys down onto the floor. Since it’s Jeff vs. Edge, here’s a ladder. Jeff spreads Edge out on the table but Chavo climbs up to slow Jeff down. Edge moves, so Jeff hits a HUGE splash to put Chavo through the table instead. Back in and Jeff gets two off a high cross body. Edge gets up first and pulls a buckle off, only to get caught in the Whisper in the Wind for two.
Out of nowhere Edge counters the Twist into a DDT for a very close two. We’re pretty clearly in the final stages of this match which means it’s getting awesome. Edge counters the slingshot dropkick into a kind of hot shot into the exposed buckle for ANOTHER two. The spear is countered into a Twist of Fate so Jeff goes up. After kicking Vickie away, the Swanton hits but Vickie pulls the referee out. Cue Matt to send Vickie into the ring and pick up a chair. To the shock of a lot of people, Matt cracks Jeff with the chair to give Edge of all people the world title.
Rating: B. This too awhile to get going but once they hit their stride they started acting like Edge and Jeff Hardy in a big match. The No DQ stuff wasn’t needed here but it made things work a bit better. At the end of the day, these two work best when they can turn off the rules and go nuts, which is what they did here.
Now remember earlier that I mentioned Christian. He was originally supposed to be in Matt’s spot, setting up a reunion with Edge. However, WWE felt the fans figured this out so we got Matt in his place. This also happened in 2012 with Sheamus winning the Rumble instead of Jericho. Based on this theory, Shawn should have kept the title at Wrestlemania 14 because almost everyone knew that Austin was winning.
That makes no sense and I don’t get what they think this is accomplishing. It didn’t work out well for Russo and it won’t work out for the WWE. Matt vs. Jeff didn’t work at the end of the day, mainly because I don’t think people wanted to see them fight. I’ll give them this: they did come up with a logical reason for Matt to turn so it’s not a terrible idea. It just wasn’t the best option they had.
Orton says he’ll win. Jericho pops in to thank Orton for punting Vince on Monday but Randy will probably get fired for it.
Rumble by the numbers which is roughly the same as the previous year.
Royal Rumble
Mysterio is #1 and Morrison is #2. Rey kicks him in the face a few times to start but gets put on the apron for trying his sitout bulldog. A springboard cross body puts Morrison down and there’s a big headscissors to take Morrison down. John gets sent to the apron but hangs on by the top rope, even when Mysterio dropkicks him in the ribs. Carlito is #3 and is the second tag champion in here along with Morrison. Those titles would be unified at Mania.
Rey tries a standing moonsault but gets caught in a modified swinging neckbreaker instead. Carlito hits a gorgeous double jump moonsault to take Morrison down and stomping ensues. MVP, currently on a winning streak after losing forever, is #4. There’s Ballin on Morrison and a facebuster to Carlito. Rey get sent to the apron but he saves himself almost immediately.
Great Khali with the awesome dance music is #5. Everybody gets a chop and Khali poses a bit. Mysterio tries to springboard onto him and Carlito tries a Backstabber, both to no avail. Kozlov is #6 and immediately headbutts Khali out by himself. MVP misses a running kick in the corner and he’s gone too (BIG heat on Vlad for that). Carlito is gone after jumping into a spinebuster and Mysterio looks to be up next, but heeeeeeeeeere’s HHH at #7.
Since no one else can get a good match out of Kozlov, you know HHH is going to try his hand at him. They stare each other down and Kozlov hits the headbutt to take him down. The facebuster stuns Kozlov and HHH throws him out wise ease. It’s HHH, Morrison and Mysterio in there at the moment with Rey chilling in the corner. The knee to the face puts Morrison down and Orton is #8.
The battle of Evolution continues and the backbreaker puts HHH down. Both finishers are countered with Morrison breaking up the Pedigree. Rey hits a seated senton on Orton and the 619 on Morrison before JTG is in at #9. Orton tries to put Mysterio out as people start pairing off. Ted DiBiase, as in one of Orton’s lackeys, is #10. Mysterio and DiBiase immediately fight to the apron with Rey doing some gymnastics to stay alive.
Jericho is #11 and goes right for Orton. He can’t get him out so there’s a Lionsault to HHH instead. Jericho is knocked to the apron and Mike Knox is #12. Orton and DiBiase focus on JTG as Knox beats on Rey. HHH saves the masked dude for no apparent reason and Miz is #13. He goes right after JTG and hits something like the Skull Crushing Finale before going after the Game.
Morrison and Mysterio team up on Orton but John and Miz both take RKOs. There’s one for JTG but HHH hits a Pedigree to stop Randy dead. HHH dumps Miz and Morrison to prove how awesome he is and Finlay is #14. Jericho backdrops Mysterio to the floor but he lands on Morrison and hops onto Miz to get back to the ring. Finlay beats on everyone in the ring until Cody Rhodes, the other of Orton’s goons, is #15.
We currently have Mysterio, HHH, Orton, JTG, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay and Rhodes. Legacy (the collective name of the trio) starts picking off people one at a time, starting with Finlay. They don’t actually put anyone out but they get to beat on everyone at least. Rey dives at Orton but gets caught in an RKO in a nice counter. The Undertaker is #16 and here come the punches. His only victim at this point is JTG to clear the ring out a bit.
Goldust of all people is in at #17 and immediately goes for DiBiase. Rhodes pulls his real life brother (Goldust) off so Goldie sends him to the apron a few times. That’s as far as he can get though as an RKO puts Goldust down and Rhodes gets to dump him out. Punk is #18 and happens to be the IC Champion at this point. There’s a GTS for HHH as RKO works on Y2J. Mysterio gets sent to the apron by Knox and Finlay works on Taker.
Mark Henry is #19 and throws a lot of people around but can’t get anybody out. Shelton Benjamin is #20 to fill the ring up even more. Jericho and Punk go up top for no apparent reason other than for Shelton to charge the corner and hit a kind of double DDT to bring them both back down. Billy Regal is #21 and goes right for Punk, who beat him for the IC Title a week or so again.
Mysterio dumps Henry off camera to thankfully get someone out of the ring. HHH is upside down in the corner but he winds up sitting on the apron. Here’s Kofi at #22 to speed things up as well as he can with so many people around him. Taker dumps Benjamin and Kane is #23. After beating up a few people he stares his brother down before they start working together to chokeslam some people.
Punk pulls Regal out and brags about it without getting thrown out. R-Truth is #24 and nothing happens. Rob Van Dam makes a one night only return at #25 after not having been seen in the WWE in about a year and a half. That at least wakes the crowd up but there are too many people in there for his style of stuff to work. He loads up the Five Star but Truth is too close so he has to bail out in mid air.
The Brian Kendrick is #26 back when he was actually a big deal. To show how big he is, he manages to dump Kofi and get thrown out by HHH in about fifteen seconds. Dolph Ziggler gets lucky #27 but only lasts about six seconds longer than Kendrick with Kane getting the point. Your future World Heavyweight Champion ladies and gentlemen. Santino is #28 and breaks Warlord’s record of two seconds in the Rumble by being clotheslined out by Kane before he can even stand up straight.
Jim Duggan makes his token Rumble appearance at #29 and he punches everything in sight, including knocking the Dead Man down. Big Show is #30, giving us a final group of Mysterio, HHH, Orton, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Undertaker, Punk, Kane, R-Truth, RVD, Duggan and Big Show, or half the field in the entire match. Nearly everyone goes after him at once but it’s Duggan that gets tossed instead.
Jericho tries to put a sleeper on Show but it gets about as far as you would expect. Taker throws Punk to the apron as Show dumps Truth. Punk fires off some kicks and hangs on three times so Show finally knocks him out cold and out to the floor. Show knocks out Knox and Mysterio as Horny gets in for no apparent reason. Finlay tries to save him and gets dumped for his efforts at good parenting.
Jericho hits a Codebreaker on Kane and Orton hits the Elevated DDT on HHH. Taker and Show have their required staredown and RVD hits the Five Star on Orton. Jericho comes up behind Van Dam to dump him while Rob holds his ribs. That’s his last WWE appearance to date. Chris turns around and sees Taker who tosses him with glee. Legacy teams up to put Kane out and we’re down to Taker, Big Show, HHH and Legacy.
The trio surrounds Undertaker as HHH gets chokeslammed. Taker does the same to most of Legacy so the giants punch each other a lot until Show gets knocked to the apron and hangs on with his feet flying off the apron. THAT was cool. Not that it matters anyway as he gets RKO’ed out a few moments later but it still looked good. Show pulls Taker to the floor a minute later because that’s how he rolls.
So as people expected at the time, it’s HHH vs. Legacy for the Rumble. Taker and Show fight into the crowd for no apparent reason. HHH goes after Rhodes first but the numbers catch up with him. He gets beaten down and Orton says pick him up. The RKO is countered though and HHH sends Orton to the apron. There goes DiBiase and Rhodes follows, but Orton sneaks up on HHH and throws him out to win the Rumble.
Rating: D. This was one of the weaker Rumbles there’s ever been. For one thing, it was clear that Orton was going to win no matter what happened. Second and probably more important, they got caught in the classic Rumble trap of having WAY too many people in there at once. They didn’t even try the three act structure here and it showed badly. That’s something Pat Patterson was absolutely amazing at and he was gone by this point.
Overall Rating: C-. It’s clear that the company was in a transitional period here and that makes this a hard one to get through. There’s enough good stuff here to check it out, but it’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. The only really solid match is Edge vs. Hardy and even that is nothing really worth seeing. This is a rare instance where the Rumble didn’t dictate how the show went as the rest of it is a far easier sit than the Rumble itself.
Ratings Comparison
Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy
Original: B
Redo: B-
Melina vs. Beth Phoenix
Original: C-
Redo: D+
John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
Original: C
Redo: C-
Edge vs. Jeff Hardy
Original: B-
Redo: B
Royal Rumble
Original: D
Redo: D
Overall Rating
Original: B+
Redo: C-
So let me get this straight: every match is literally within a single grade of the original but the original is nearly two grades higher? Dang I was REALLY feeling generous that day. A show with an hour long match that gets a D doesn’t sound like a B+ overall to me.
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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 2008: Reach For It Jeff
Royal Rumble 2008 Date: January 27, 2008
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City New York
Attendance: 20,798
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz
We’re in New York City again and there are three main events tonight. We have the usual Rumble and Edge defending the Smackdown Title against Mysterio, but the interesting one here was Orton defending against Jeff Hardy. I don’t know how they did it, but the company did an OUTSTANDING job of making Hardy seem like he had a very real chance of taking the title tonight and shocking the world. I had no idea who was going to win and I LOVED that feeling. Let’s get to it.
The opening video focuses more on the show being in MSG than anything else.
Ric Flair vs. MVP
Flair’s career is on the line but MVP’s US Title isn’t. Flair talks about having his first match here in 1976 but MVP’s music cuts him off. MVP takes him into the corner to start and he’s BALLIN already. Flair goes after the arm for a second before chopping away at the jumpsuit. MVP comes back with a running boot to the head for two before hooking a chinlock. The fans tell MVP that he sucks as he cranks on the chin.
Flair fights up and picks the leg, only to get small packaged for two. A backdrop puts Flair down and there’s a running boot to the face in the corner for three, but Flair has his foot on the rope. You know MSG isn’t buying that one. Flair tries to steal the pin but gets clotheslined down for his efforts instead. A superplex gets two for MVP and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Flair starts trying for some fast pins before slugging away. MVP punches him down and hits a facebuster, but the Playmaker is countered into a quick Figure Four to end this.
Rating: C. This was about what you would expect. At the end of the day, everyone knew Flair wasn’t going to lose this but it was a way to give him one last moment in MSG before retiring in April. I’m not wild on him beating the US Champion clean but the title hasn’t meant anything in years anyway so what difference does it make?
Vince talks to Horny about the Rumble. This is during the “Vince is Hornswoggle’s dad” phase. Vince tells him to not trust Finlay but he has to win. Finlay comes in and takes some offense to Vince telling them not to trust each other.
Mike Adamle is introduced as the newest broadcaster. Oh dear. For those of you that don’t remember him, imagine Cole but with something resembling charm.
We recap Jericho vs. JBL. JBL cost Jericho the title at Armageddon and tonight is the blowoff. JBL brought Jericho’s children into this too, saying Jericho would have to admit to them that he’s a coward. Jericho would use this same line against Shawn soon after this.
Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
Feeling out process to start with JBL hiding in the corner and ropes a few times. Jericho forearms him down and pounds away but gets sent to the floor. That doesn’t last long as he slides right back in and hooks the Walls but JBL immediately grabs the rope. A baseball slide keeps Jibbles on the floor where he is sent into the steps. Back in and Jericho charges into a hot shot to put both guys down.
A clothesline (not the one from down under) puts Jericho down as apparently he has a bad throat and neck coming into this. Bradshaw slingshots Jericho throat first into the middle rope and hooks a quick sleeper. Jericho fights out of it and hits a clothesline of his own, only to charge into a big boot. John sends him shoulder first into the post which busts his head open somehow. Back in and JBL pounds away at the cut as a villain would do. Jericho comes back but they botch a clothesline, causing both guys to get booed loudly. A Cactus Clothesline sends them to the floor where Jericho cracks JBL with a chair for the LAME DQ.
Rating: D+. This didn’t work at all for the most part. Jericho didn’t work at all as a face with the short hair during this comeback and I think everyone knew it. Thankfully he would turn heel over the summer and have the feud of the year with Shawn. The ending to this sucked and I don’t think they had any other matches after this.
Jericho destroys JBL post match and chokes him with a cord, which is what JBL did to him. That gets Jericho cheered at least.
Santino tells Ashley that Maria won’t do Playboy. Thank goodness he was wrong.
We recap Edge vs. Mysterio. Edge is with Vickie now who just happens to be the corrupt GM. Mysterio won a Beat the Clock challenge by beating Edge himself to earn the shot. Edge is annoyed that Rey is claiming that Edge is just using Vickie, which of course he is.
Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Rey Mysterio
Edge is defending if that’s not clear. Vickie, Hawkins and Ryder are at ringside as well. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. The fans LOUDLY boo Rey and cheer for Edge as Rey kind of messes up a rana. Edge runs him over but Rey speeds things up, causing Edge to panic a bit. Rey gets sent to the floor where Hawkins and Ryder go after him, only to stop when they’re nearly caught. The referee ejects them anyway.
Back in and Rey almost hooks the 619, only to have the champion bail to the floor. Rey is perfectly cool with diving to the floor to take out Edge, drawing boos in a bizarre sequence. Back in and a seated senton gets two for Rey but Edge takes his knee out to take over. Edge pounds away and hooks a half crab for a little while. Rey comes back with kicks to the face to escape and you would think he was choking a kitten from the crowd’s reaction.
Rey loads up the 619 but charges into a powerslam for two. Off to a kind of ankle lock hold but bending the knee instead of the ankle. Edge tries to take the knee brace off of Rey but gets caught in the sitout bulldog to put both guys down. Mysterio uses his good leg to kick Edge in the face for two before hitting another kind of seated senton for two. Like an idiot, Rey goes up and hits a double stomp for two. Smart move on a bad knee Rey. Edge is sent to the floor where Rey slide through the ropes into a tornado DDT for two back inside.
Back in and Edge kicks Rey right in the face to put him down again. Why over complicate things? The spear misses so Rey hits the 619 and the top rope splash, but Vickie pops out of her wheelchair to break up the count. Edge misses another spear and puts himself in 619 position, but Vickie jumps onto the apron to take the hit, allowing Edge to hit the spear for the retaining pin.
Rating: C+. This was ok but you kind of expect more from Edge vs. Rey Mysterio. The ending was about Vickie, which would become a running theme over the next few months. Edge being all conniving and backstabbing the already evil Vickie was awesome stuff, but getting there was tedious at times. Still not a bad match at all though.
Mr. Kennedy is waiting for Flair when he gets out of the shower in a towel. Shawn comes in before anything happens and shakes hands with Flair. Shawn: “Imagine, a loud mouthed platinum blonde with a catchphrase. That gimmick will never work.” Batista comes in (pop), as does HHH (lesser pop). HHH: “I’ve said this a lot of times before Ric, but put your pants on.” It turns into a merchandise plug in a cute bit.
Maria comes out to do the Royal Rumble Kiss Cam. This eats up some time until Ashley comes out to ask Maria to be in Playboy again. Santino comes out to insult the fans (and the Giants), saying the people would cheer if you asked if they wanted hepatitis. He brings out Big Dick Johnson with a rubber chicken and wearing a half Patriots jersey. You can figure this one out for yourself.
WrestleMania ad featuring Mae Young as a lifeguard. Ok then.
Mike Adamle introduces us to the next match, featuring Randy Orton vs. Jeff Harvey.
We recap Hardy vs. Orton, which is based on three simple words: Hardy could win. Apparently this match drew HUGE numbers for the Rumble, which showed why they held out on Hardy winning the belt for nearly a year. Hardy hit a HUGE Swanton off the set on Raw, which made you wonder how far he would go to win here. The video is a mini-history of Orton’s career to this point, which isn’t really a good idea for a heel. This is followed by a music video about Jeff Hardy set to the song Rooftops by the Lost Prophets, which really fits him well. I remember being very excited for the match and this video was a big reason.
Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy
Jeff is Intercontinental Champion. Feeling out process to start with Jeff taking over via a headlock on the mat. An atomic drop gets two but Orton hits him in the face and brags to the crowd about it. Orton gets sent to the floor and a baseball slide sends him into the barricade. Hardy follows with a plancha to the floor as JR SCREAMS to get Orton back in the ring. Randy tries to walk out with the belt but Hardy will have none of that. Orton is rammed into the announce table and back inside we go.
As Hardy tries a springboard, Orton dropkicks him right back to the floor in a big crash. There’s the Orton Stomp and some choking as Orton shows off his wide range of offense. This is before Orton was orange so the visuals aren’t all that bad. A pair of knee drops get two on Hardy as Orton asks the fans if they believe in Jeff still. Hardy sends Orton over the top to the floor, followed by a bad clothesline off the apron (it hit Orton’s arm and completely missed his neck and chest).
Back in again and Jeff misses a charge into the post, giving Orton both a two count and control again. Randy hooks a chinlock with a bodyscissors followed by a powerslam for two. Back to the chinlock (yep it’s an Orton match) to fill in some time. Jeff fights up again and takes Randy down with a clothesline but can’t follow up. Jeff starts striking with everything he’s got and hits the Whisper in the Wind to fire up the crowd even more.
That’s one thing I haven’t talked about enough here: the fans are WAY behind Hardy here. It isn’t the usual New York reaction to a face. They want Jeff to win the title NOW. Hardy hits the slingshot dropkick in the corner but before he can hit the Swanton, Randy bails to the floor. Jeff is cool with that and hits (kind of at least) a moonsault to the floor. Back in and Jeff loads up the Twist but Orton counters into the RKO out of nowhere to retain.
Rating: C+. That’s a really bad finish for a few reasons. First of all, it’s WAY too sudden. If they were shooting at punching the audience in the stomach I guess they accomplished that, but it doesn’t do much else. Hardy winning was an option, but at the end of the day they made the right move here….I think. I was disappointed Hardy won, but thankfully WWE stretched it out for a LONG time before he got the title, which was the right move at the end of the day.
Hardy gets a well deserved standing ovation. His time would come.
We get the Rumble by the Numbers video, which is always a favorite of mine. Here are those numbers:
20 years of history
21 winners
569 superstars in the Rumble
36 eliminations (by Austin, since broken by Shawn)
11 Rumbles for Shawn (since broken by Kane)
11 eliminations for Kane in 2001
3 identities under which Foley entered the Rumble in 1997
2 feet that must touch the ground
1 woman in the Rumble (Chyna, since joined by Beth Phoenix and Kharma)
62:12 of time that Mysterio was in the Rumble
2 seconds that Warlord lasted in the Rumble (since broken by Santino)
3 wins for Austin, still a record
1 is the spot that has the same amount of wins as #30 (Shawn and Undertaker)
4 men that have won the Rumble from the 27 spot, the most ever
73 percent of the Rumble winners have won the title at Wrestlemania
I love that.
Royal Rumble
As introduced by Michael Buffer (only the Fink gets all caps in the Garden), #1 is Undertaker, #2 is Shawn Michaels,. Now how’s THAT for an opening pair? Isn’t it amazing how a RANDOM pairing finishes the match the previous year and opens it this year? 90 second intervals here which seems to be the right amount of time most of the years. Taker powers Shawn around to start and elbows him in the corner.
Shawn gets crotched on the ropes but Taker GOES AIRBORNE with a running boot that misses in the corner. Shawn charges into the grip of Taker as he gets back in but there’s no chokeslam. Taker kicks him in the face instead as Santino is #3. Twenty five seconds later Shawn superkicks him and Taker gets the elimination. Shawn tries to dump him but Taker hangs on and works on the arm.
Old School is countered and Shawn hits an atomic drop as Great Khali is #4. Taker jumps him as he comes in as Shawn is down from something we missed. The big chop puts Taker down as the fans tell Khali he can’t wrestle. They grab each other by the throat but Khali misses a chop and gets eliminated. Shawn never touched Khali but charges at Taker when it’s just the two of them.
Hardcore Holly is #5 and is a tag champion here. Taker slugs Holly down but Shawn tries to dump the big man again. John Morrison, also a tag champion but with Miz instead of Cody Rhodes like Holly, is #6. Morrison looks at Taker and immediately goes after Holly instead. Shawn dumps him to the apron but John gets back in. That winds up being bad for him as he get slammed down by Shawn followed by the top rope elbow.
Shawn tunes up the band but Morrison blocks the kick. Tommy Dreamer is #7 to a big pop and a LOUD Tommy Dreamer chant. #8 is Batista as we get another good blast of energy. Big Dave and Taker knock everyone down (no eliminations) and they stare each other down, only for Dreamer to charge at Batista, earning himself an elimination. Shawn goes after Batista now but Dave spears Morrison down instead.
Hornswoggle is #9 and immediately dives under the ring without ever getting in. Batista and Taker hammer on each other in the corner as Holly clotheslines Shawn to the apron. Chuck Palumbo, a lame biker at this point, is #10. Taker flips Morrison to the apron but he hangs on again. Shawn and Morrison fight on the top rope as Jamie Noble, Palumbo’s enemy at this point, is #11. Noble has taped up ribs so his offense can’t last long. Palumbo dumps him after less than a minute.
At the moment we have Taker, Shawn, Holly, Batista, Palumbo and Morrison in the ring with Horny underneath. #12 is CM Punk as Morrison makes ANOTHER impressive save. Punk is insanely popular in New York of course and fires off running knees in the corner to everyone he sees, only to charge into a clothesline from Undertaker. Morrison, the guy that took the ECW Title from Punk, pounds away on him. Punk takes Palumbo out but gets jumped from behind by Shawn.
Cody Rhodes is #13 before he means anything at all. Yes he’s a tag champion, and yes I stand by what I just said. Cody goes after Punk before shifting over to Taker like an idiot. Umaga is #14 to a decent pop. He spikes Holly out and gets to try on Batista for a bit now. Shawn gets backdropped to the apron but hangs on of course. Snitsky is #15 and badly pounds on everyone at once.
Rhodes jumps on Snitsky’s back and they both head to the apron but no further than that. Taker gets headbutted by Umaga as the ring is starting to get too full. Miz is #16 with those stupid shorts of his. He goes after Punk as Taker tries to put Umaga out. Shelton with his even stupider gold hair of his knocks both Miz and Morrison off the top and onto the ropes but not out, before walking into a superkick from Shawn for the elimination in less than 20 seconds.
Jimmy Snuka of all people is #18 to a HUGE pop. He goes after Morrison as the fans do Snuka’s barking kind of chant. Taker gets a headbutt which staggers the dead man before Snuka goes after Miz. At #19 here’s Roddy Piper to an even BIGGER pop. He takes his shirt off and causes about half the audience to faint before having a showdown with Snuka, which the rest of the match (remember this includes Umaga, Taker and Shawn) stops to watch. Piper pokes Jimmy in the eyes and the match finally picks up a bit.
Kane is in at #20 to hopefully clean out the ring a bit. Yep he knocks out Piper and Snuka before chokeslamming Miz. Taker loads up a chokeslam on Kane but before he grabs the throat, he spins around and grabs Michaels instead. Carlito is in at #21 and spits the apple at Rhodes. Punk and Morrison pick up Carlito but he kicks off the ropes and sends them both into them. Punk kicks Morrison in the head but gets caught by a Backstabber. Cool little sequence there.
Mick Foley is #22 and you know the fans freak out for him. A double arm DDT takes Kane down as Umaga hits a Samoan Drop on Taker. The ring is WAY too full now with Taker, Michaels, Morrison, Batista, Punk, Rhodes, Umaga, Snitsky, Miz, Kane, Carlito, Foley and Horny under the ring. Morrison hits a springboard kick to take Foley down and Kennedy is #23. I’ll say this: the ring has some star power in it.
There’s a Mic Check to Miz and a kick to Taker after he sits up from something. A chokeslam puts Kennedy down and Taker starts beating up everyone. Here’s Big Daddy V at #24. Taker shoves Snitsky out, Shawn superkicks Taker out and Kennedy throws Shawn out. The only question I have from that: why is Taker on his feet after being superkicked? Taker drops a leg on the announce table on Snitsky because he’s a big jerk at times.
Kennedy and Rhodes fight to the apron as Henry is #25. Horny comes out from under the ring and pulls Miz out from the ring for an elimination. Horny goes back under the ring as V is trying to put out Morrison and Kennedy. Chavo is #26 and freshly ECW Champion, thereby making it clear that the ECW Title isn’t a world title. Kane sends Morrison to the apron and then to the floor with a big boot.
Horny comes in again as V and Henry double team him. Finlay runs out ahead of the gun (presumably at #27) and blasts both guys with the club. He and Horny leave through the ropes and don’t return, with the official statement being that Horny was eliminated for leaving and Finlay was disqualified. In the Rumble. Yeah this story was just badly done overall. Elijah Burke (D’Angelo Dinero) is #28.
Chavo dumps Punk after taking his title on Tuesday. That’s just overkill man. Umaga spikes Batista under the ropes and out to the floor. HHH is #29 which leaves a hole at #30. Basically every major star has entered and the announcers aren’t sure who is possibly left. Rhodes, V, Foley and Burke all go out at HHH’s hands before he pounds on Umaga. The countdown begins for #30.
The roof is blown off the Garden, because JOHN CENA is #30. This is shocking as Cena had torn his pec and had announced that he would be gone until Wrestlemania at the earliest. Imagine that: lying about an injury and getting a big response from the crowd. Who would have ever thought of that, and in wrestling of all things? Carlito, Chavo and Henry are all gone in about fifteen seconds before it’s HHH staring Cena down.
We’ve got Cena, HHH, Batista, Kane, Umaga and Kennedy to go. HHH takes Cena down with a spinebuster but walks into a superkick from Umaga. Batista takes Umaga down with the spinebuster and dumps Kennedy to get us down to five. There goes Umaga and we’re down to four. HHH and Batista dump Kane and we’ve got three left. Batista gives the double thumbs down, Cena says you can’t see me and HHH says suck it. Them are fighting catchphrases and it’s on.
Trips and Cena go after Big Dave but he clotheslines them both down. The spinebuster plants Cena and another one takes HHH down. The fans don’t seem thrilled with Batista so they cheer when Cena backdrops him down. HHH clotheslines Batista out and we’re down to HHH vs. Cena.
Since this is New York, the fans hate Cena by default and it’s boo/yay time. Triple H pounds away but walks into the Protobomb and the Shuffle. The finishers are both countered and they clothesline each other down. Cena can’t FU HHH out and gets caught in a DDT. The finishers are countered again until Cena hits the FU on HHH for the elimination and the win.
Rating: C+. It took awhile to get through the bad parts but once Cena’s music hit the place was electric. The fans booing Cena doesn’t surprise me at all because that’s how New York works. Cena would wind up facing Orton at No Way Out for some reason, resulting in a three way at Mania with HHH involved as well.
Cena celebrates to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. Well it definitely wasn’t terrible but at the end of the day, nothing is really all that good here at all. The best match is probably Hardy vs. Orton and that’s just ok. On the other hand though, nothing is really bad here and you likely won’t be bored with the show. It’s one of those shows where you watch it and other than Cena’s return, you probably won’t remember watching it two days later.
Ratings Comparison
Ric Flair vs. MVP
Original: B-
Redo: C
John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Jericho
Original: D+
Redo: D+
Edge vs. Rey Mysterio
Original: A-
Redo: C+
Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton
Original: C-
Redo: C+
Royal Rumble
Original: C-
Redo: C+
Overall Rating
Original: C+
Redo: C-
Wow the Smackdown title match really changed things around here.
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TNA – The Best of the Asylum Years: When Jeff Jarrett Wouldn’t Go Away And AJ Styles Ruled The World
TNA: Best of the Asylum Years Location: TNA Asylum, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West, Ed Ferrara
This is actually my first DVD review. TNA has put out a lot of DVDs on their Youtube page for kind of a preview weekend deal and this was voted as the one I should review. If the videos stay up I might do a few more of these. It’s a simple concept: the Asylum is the name of TNA’s old home arena in Nashville and this is a compilation of great matches from the venue. Let’s get to it.
Total run time:…..FIVE AND A HALF HOURS??? Now I remember why I don’t do DVDs.
Expect this to be kind of quick in some places as there isn’t much recapping you can do for a documentary. I haven’t seen a ton of the old TNA stuff though so expect some details to be missing.
We open with a basic history of the company and go into a discussion of the first PPV. Jeff Jarrett talks about how big a market Nashville has been for wrestling over the years. Dixie talking about it gets on my nerves as she feels like someone who won a fan contest to get on the DVD.
Thankfully the matches are interspersed throughout the DVD instead of being all at the end.
NWA World Title: Ken Shamrock vs. Sabu
From July 24, 2002 with Shamrock defending. There’s a ladder at ringside and Tenay quickly tells us this is grab the title or submission. That’s different to say the least. Ferrara goes on a rant about how this should be Jarrett or Malice getting the shot while Shamrock cranks on the leg. Sabu rolls him up and grabs a leg lock of his own but Shamrock is just fine on the mat. Apparently security has bailed over something that happened earlier in the night.
Ken works on a cross armbreaker but lets go for a rope break. A quick snap mare puts Sabu down and we hit the chinlock. The fans don’t seem pleased with this and Sabu going for a cross armbreaker of his own doesn’t help. Ken grabs a leg bar but Sabu gets out again as we hear Ricky Steamboat will be in charge next week. A leg lariat sets up the slingshot legdrop from Sabu and it’s back to the armbreaker. Now the fans want a ladder but get Shamrock charging into Sabu in the corner.
Sabu gets bored with the wrestling stuff and goes for the ladder but the champion baseball slides it into Sabu instead. They head up the ramp with Shamrock throwing Sabu into the dancers’ cage. Sabu is busted open so he sends Shamrock into the barricade at ringside. A table is set up in the aisle but Shamrock avoids a triple jump flip dive. Sabu’s back is all sliced up and the blood is literally flowing. The ladder is sent inside but the lights go out as Shamrock grabs the belt. The lights come back on and Malice is on the ladder and pounding on a Ken. A chokeslam sends Shamrock down and Malice pulls down the title for the no contest.
Rating: D. To clarify, the first match on this set has a screwy ending. Just throwing that out there. Anyway, the match was nothing interesting though some of the big spots weren’t bad. The problem though is how much of a ladder match can you get with less than ten minutes to work with? It didn’t help that the announcers talked about how Malice was going to do something throughout the match.
On to the X-Division with the typical X-Division stars saying the usual X-Division talking points. Jeff Hardy’s face paint looks ridiculous.
X-Division Title: Jerry Lynn vs. Low Ki vs. AJ Styles
From August 28, 2002. This is a ladder match with Ki defending. They circle each other for a bit until Styles drops down and grabs a ladder. Both other guys slide to the floor as well with Styles hitting Jerry with the ladder, only to have Low Ki kick the ladder back into AJ. They head back inside where Low Ki kicks Lynn off the apron. A handspring kick takes Styles down as well as Jerry comes back in.
Lynn hits a sweet spinning tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to take the champ down before pounding on Styles in the corner. Low Ki gets put in a surfboard but Styles breaks it up and stomps on Low Ki a bit. Jerry suplexes AJ down and puts him in a Liontamer, only to have Low Ki fire off kicks to break it up. Lynn won’t let it go and shouts to kick him harder. Low Ki is fine with that and kicks Lynn hard enough to break up the hold.
A running kick in the corner takes Styles down again before loading him into the Ki Crusher. Instead of dropping him though, Low Ki rams him into Jerry in the corner to put both guys down. The champ goes to get the ladder but Jerry baseball slides it back into Low Ki to take over again. Styles heads to the floor as well to kick the champ in the head before dropping Lynn face first onto the apron.
With the ladder bridged between the ring and the barricade, all three guys stand on top of it and slug it out before a big headbutt sends all three guys to the ground. Lynn is up first and sends a ladder into the ring which is dropkicked into AJ’s ribs and chest on the mat. Low Ki is up again and starts setting up the ladder, only to have AJ deck him from behind. The ladder is leaning against the ropes as AJ GOES OFF on the champ, only to walk into a punch from Jerry.
Lynn and Styles launch Low Ki into the ladder in a double hiptoss and it’s one on one. AJ does a Daniel Bryan backflip off the ladder and tries a tornado DDT, only to have Lynn counter and hit a northern lights suplex to send AJ back first into the ladder. Ki is back in and kicks Jerry down but realizes he can’t pin him. A charge in the corner is caught by Lynn but he ranas Jerry into the ladder to put all three guys down again.
It’s AJ back up first to ram the champ with the ladder before he tries to climb, only to get kicked by Low Ki. AJ is hung in a Tree of Woe in the ladder where Low Ki fires off kicks to the chest. Now Low Ki climbs but Jerry makes the save and suplexes him down off the ladder to put everyone down again. AJ gets up and hits the moonsault DDT on Low Ki to pop the crowd again. Jerry pounds on Styles and catches a jumping champion in a running Liger Bomb to take over yet again.
There’s a second ladder in the ring now as Styles brings in another one. Low Ki slides out and brings in a third as this could get very messy in a hurry. The challengers stop fighting long enough to make a save of Low Ki as Styles and Low Ki fight on top. Low Ki hooks a Dragon Sleeper on top of the ladder (grab the title you dolt) but here’s Lynn again and all three are on a ladder.
In a pretty awesome move, Low Ki has his ladder shoved down but he gets his foot on the top rope and shoves himself and the ladder back to an upright position. AJ gets shoved to the floor and it’s Lynn vs. Low Ki. Jerry is like DIE YOU KICKING SPOT MONKEY and cradle piledrives him off the ladder. Lynn climbs up and wins the title to end the show.
Rating: B+. Solid, solid match here with all three guys beating the tar out of each other. It’s not on the level of one of the TLC matches, but for what we had here, this was one of the better ladder matches you’ll see in awhile. I’d have preferred just Lynn and AJ because I’m not a fan of Low Ki at all, but the shove back off the rope was good enough for me to overlook him. Solid stuff.
Next up: the world title, with Tenay talking about how this is a wrestling company instead of an entertainment company. Abyss in full gear, is a strange sight to see in a sitdown interview. The gist here is that things got big in a hurry and a lot of that was due to Raven vs. Jarrett.
NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Raven
From April 30, 2003 with Jarrett defending. Raven has Julio Dinero with him but unfortunately not the more famous lackey: CM Punk. He also has his chick Alexis Laree, more famous as Mickie James. This is billed as the showdown with Raven wanting to claim his destiny. Feeling out process to start with Raven slamming the champion down and celebrating. A drop toehold ticks Jeff off even more so he erupts with right hands and a dropkick to send Raven out to the floor.
Raven is sent into the barricade but some interference from the Gathering (Raven’s stable) lets him take over again. Jeff knocks Raven down and dives on the Gathering as he foreshadows his lucha libre skills. Another drop toehold puts Jarrett into the steps as Raven has been busted open on something. Dinero has set up a table for Raven who lays a bloody Jarrett on the wood. Jeff gets inside before Raven can dive on him though and the fight continues.
Dinero slides in a chair for the third drop toehold from Raven for two. A knee to the ribs puts Jarrett down again and Raven kicks him in the head like the villain that he is. There’s a sleeper as the fans are behind Jarrett. Jeff comes back with a jawbreaker and a Diamond Cutter of all things to put both guys down. Some right hands block the Raven Effect and a nice dropkick gets two for the champ.
Dinero gets a dropkick as well and Jarrett slams Alexis. Another Raven Effect attempt is countered with an enziguri for two and a catapult into the corner gets the same. The Stroke hits from out of nowhere for another near fall but no real pop from the crowd. A sloppy Raven Effect gets the same but Jeff comes back with a Cactus Clothesline to send both outside. Raven is laid out on the table and Jeff drops a middle rope elbow to drive him through it.
Back inside and Jarrett lays Raven out with a DDT but Dinero makes the save. The referee FINALLY ejects the Gathering but Raven shoves Jarrett into the referee, knocking him into the barricade. Both guys kick each other low as the Disciples of the New Church come out to brawl with the Gathering. Raven calls out Extreme Revolution (your usual ECW guys) to destroy and handcuff Jarrett.
Saturn and Credible hit a Conchairto with superkicks on Jarrett but the lights go out. Back on and here’s Sabu to take out Raven and the rest of the ECW guys. Everyone else leaves and Jarrett ducks a chair shot, sending the chair into the ropes and back onto Raven’s head for two. Bill Behrens (boss) comes out to uncuff Jarrett but Raven grabs the Even Flow for two. Not that it matters as Jarrett pops up and hits the Stroke for the pin.
Rating: B-. I was really digging this until everything fell apart at the end. There had to be some insanity in there but based on this and this alone, giving Raven the title wouldn’t have been the worst idea. There’s chemistry here and a natural dichotomy between these two which makes for a good match like this one.
Next up: people saying TNA was going to die. I’ll give them credit for this: people have been saying that for over 11 years now and TNA keeps hanging in there.
Triple X vs. AJ Styles/D’Lo Brown
From May 7, 2003. Triple X is Elix Skipper/Low Ki and the winners go on to a #1 contenders match later tonight. Brown and Low Ki trade strikes to start until Brown grabs a slam and drops some elbows. A blind tag brings in AJ for a springboard missile dropkick and a knee drop for two. Low Ki has to kick someone before he explodes so he takes over with a cartwheel kick.
Off to Skipper but AJ nips up into a hurricanrana for two. Brown comes in and slams AJ onto Skipper’s chest but Low Ki comes back in for some chops. Skipper is back in almost immediately and gets suplexed down. A flapjack gives Brown even more of a breather and he dives into a tag to Styles. The good guys chop Elix down but he pulls Brown to the floor and sends him into the barricade.
Back inside and Low Ki kicks AJ in the head to stagger him again before Skipper comes in again for some forearms. Styles counters the Play of the Day and makes another hot tag to Brown. Everything breaks down and D’Lo hits a double shaky head legdrop. A Cactus Clothesline sends Brown and Skipper to the floor but Brown slides back in to catch a cartwheeling Low Ki in the Sky High for the pin.
Rating: D+. Nice finish to a boring match. I’m not sure why this match was on the set as there were some much more interesting tag matches. There’s a good chance this was based on the name power instead of the match itself, which is understandable given how long it would take to watch every match.
AJ Styles was awesome in case you didn’t know that. He used the X-Division to get to the main event and had chemistry with everyone. That’s true actually.
NWA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Raven vs. Jeff Jarrett
From June 11, 2003 and Jarrett is defending. After some big match intros we’re ready to go and it’s one fall to a finish. Styles is quickly thrown to the floor but he runs back in to deck a talking Jarrett. Raven gets kicked down by AJ but Jarrett hits a picture perfect dropkick to take AJ down as well. Jarrett and Raven brawl to the floor and AJ hits a big flip dive to take them both out. AJ whips Raven into the barricade so hard that it’s knocked off the hinges, only to have Raven charge back over the steps with a clothesline to Jarrett.
Back in and AJ pounds on Jarrett in the corner but gets caught in a running powerbomb for two. Raven ducks Jeff’s enziguri and there’s an STF on the champion until AJ makes the save. Styles hits the moonsault into a DDT for two on Jarrett but Raven makes the save. Neither Jarrett or Raven can hit their finishers so here’s AJ with a chair to crack Raven’s head, busting him open in the process.
AJ and Jarrett form a quick alliance to double team Raven but Jarrett doesn’t care for AJ going for a cover after a springboard hurricanrana. The roles reverse when Jarrett slams Raven’s head into the mat as AJ makes the save. Now we get a combination reverse chinlock and half crab on Raven until AJ lets go and goes up for a guillotine legdrop. Raven sends Jarrett forward though and the champ is knocked out.
It’s Raven’s turn to take over now with a superkick to Jeff and a series of clotheslines to AJ. A chair is brought in but Raven gets caught in the drop toehold. AJ is knocked to the floor and Raven counters the Stroke into the Raven Effect for two due to Shane Douglas pulling Raven to the floor. They fight to the back, leaving AJ to blast Jarrett with the belt. Instead of covering though Styles goes up top for a Low Down (frog splash) for two.
AJ pounds away in the corner but gets caught in an Alabama Slam for two. Styles comes back with a powerbomb but can’t hook a Figure Four. Instead he sunsets flips Jeff into a Styles Clash but Jarrett rolls away and slams AJ into the referee in the corner. AJ breaks up a superplex attempt but his springboard 450 hits knees in a painful looking landing. Cue Vince Russo with a guitar to crack over Jarrett’s head, setting up the Styles Clash for the pin and the title.
Rating: C. This was much more of a collection of spots than a good match. It’s also a match that would have been better if I knew all of the backstory behind it. That’s a problem with most of this DVD: the matches have no context at all, meaning it’s hard to care about anything going on out there. It’s even worse when this isn’t a very well known time in the company’s history, meaning people aren’t as likely to know this stuff off the top of their heads.
Next up: tag teams, with various midcarders talking about how important teams are in wrestling. I do like Storm’s philosophy on winning: “I win so I can go home and sit in a big comfortable chair and drink a lot of beer.”
Tag Titles: Triple X vs. America’s Most Wanted
From June 25, 2003 and inside a cage. This isn’t the famous cage match these teams had but I’ve seen this one before and it’s awesome as well. The champions XXX are comprised of Elix Skipper and Christopher Daniels while the challengers are James Storm/Chris Harris. This is the fifth match but XXX has won via outside interference every single time. This is also TNA’s first ever cage match.
It’s a brawl to start but the referee makes them tag to get on my nerves. Harris bulldogs Daniels down before AMW picks up Skipper and launches him into Daniels. This is pin or submission only, meaning escape doesn’t count. Daniels and Harris are the official starters and the fans chant for the Fallen Angel. Skipper gets in a cheap shot from the apron before throwing him face first into the cage for two. Harris is already busted open.
The champions take turns stomping on Harris’ forehead until Daniels gets two off a springboard moonsault press by Skipper. Harris gets a lucky shot off a running clothesline but Daniels kicks his head off for two. Back to Skipper who sends Harris into the cage again but Harris comes off the ropes with another clothesline. There’s the hot tag to Storm who cleans house, sending Skipper chest first into the cage with a reverse suplex. A powerslam gets two on Daniels but he kicks Storm’s knee out to slow him down.
We get a Kill the Cowboy chant, which is hopefully a remnant from the early days of the company rather than the fans not liking Storm’s current work. The champions hit a suplex/cross body combo on the bloody Storm but Skipper’s ribs are injured from being sent into the cage. Back up and the two of them rams heads, setting up a double tag to Harris and Daniels. Harris takes over with the raw power by ramming Daniels head first into the cage over and over. Skipper’s ribs get reacquainted with the steel as well as Daniels is busted open too.
Harris loads up the Catatonic (spinning Rock Bottom) but Daniels counters into the Angel’s Wings (lifting sitout Pedigree) for a very close two. Everything breaks down and Daniels blocks a reverse tornado DDT by taking Storm onto the top rope for an STO to the mat. Skipper belly to bellys Harris down before sending him into the cage again. Elix goes up top for no apparent reason but gets powerbombed down in a HUGE crash to give Harris a near fall.
Daniels hits Last Rites (Cross Rhodes) on Storm for an even closer two as Harris makes yet another save. Harris and Daniels go up top but Daniels backs away across the rope, allowing Harris to hit a diving spear for an even closer near fall. Skipper takes Harris down with the Play of the Day before going for a very big climb. Elix dives off the top with a high cross body but reinjures his ribs in the process. STORYTELLING BABY!
A delayed cover gets two so Skipper goes up again, only to be knocked down a bit and then out to the floor. Storm superkicks Daniels down and the Death Sentence (spinebuster/legdrop) mostly misses Daniels for two. Skipper tries to climb back in but gets knocked back to the floor. Harris goes up to the very top of the cage for a HUGE Death Sentence to crush Daniels for the pin and the titles.
Rating: A. There’s your price of admission right there. This was all about taking two teams and having them beat the tar out of each other for twenty minutes. On top of that we have the story of Skipper’s ribs in a good piece of psychology, a rarity in matches like these. The amazing thing is these four would top this effort in another cage match at Turning Point the following year. Great match.
Now we talk about people coming into TNA because they thought it was the next big thing. The problem is they’re mainly talking about retired guys like Rick Steiner and the Road Warriors, who do add name recognition but are there for quick paychecks instead of doing anything long term.
Raven vs. Shane Douglas
From September 17, 2003 and this is hair vs. hair. Shane is part of the New Church and has James Mitchell in his corner. The stalling begins early with Douglas arguing with a fan and Raven saying just bring it. No contact in the first minute but Raven cranks it up with rights and lefts to the jaw. Raven sends Shane to the floor but refuses to give chase as he knows what’s waiting for him if he charges back inside.
Shane runs to the floor on his own this time but gets whipped into the barricade and drilled in the forehead. They head into the crowd with Shane staggering away from Raven after being rammed into various hard objects. Raven drops a leg on a chair onto Shane’s face and hits him in the head with a garbage can. Thankfully the camera work here is really solid and there’s nothing blocking the view. That used to drive me crazy in ECW.
Back in and Raven puts on a Cobra Clutch to keep Shane in trouble but Douglas bails to the floor to avoid the Raven Effect. Shane comes back in and sends Raven to the floor again with a drop toehold. The brawl continues at ringside with Shane stumbling face first into the steps, busting him open. Shane sends him into the announcers’ table and the steps to come back though to give us matching cuts on the forehead.
They head inside again for a Hennig necksnap on Raven followed by an abdominal stretch. Raven counters the hold twice in a row before putting on one of his own, only to be hiptossed out to the floor. Back in and Shane looks to be vomiting in a disturbing visual. Raven kicks him in the face and grabs a chair but Shane comes back with a chain (signature weapon) shot to the head. It’s only good for two though and Raven comes back with a drop toehold into the chair for the same result.
A superkick drops Shane again but New Church member Slash pulls the referee to the floor. Raven takes out Slash but has a bulldog countered, resulting in a ref bump. Here’s New Church member Sinn (Kizarny/Sinn Bowdee) to help with the beatdown but the Gathering (Julio Dinero and CM Punk) come out to take the New Church to the back. Shane takes too much time loading up a table and gets caught by the Raven Effect for two. This DVD has made that move look so lame.
Raven goes up top but gets shoved through the table for another near fall. Another table is brought in and Raven hits the Effect through said table but the lights go out. It doesn’t help that Shane clearly kicked out before the arena went dark, but they come back on to reveal a mystery man who has been around for months. He pulls off a mask to reveal Vampiro who lays out Raven to give Shane the pin, costing Raven his hair.
Rating: C+. Overbooking aside, it’s amazing how much easier it is to sit through a Shane Douglas match when I don’t have to listen to him talk. Raven really did have a career rebirth in TNA and was having some awesome matches in this run. I’m not sure what the New Church deal was (I know it was a stable and all that jazz) but the blowff (I guess?) was good here.
Post match Raven is forced to have his hair shaved and then look into a mirror. Don West is furious and throws down his headset.
On to Sting who you knew was coming. Everyone was in awe of him showing up because Sting was the one big name free agent they ever got. That would be the case for the next several years.
AJ Styles/Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett/Lex Luger
From November 17, 2003. Luger alone could make this a trainwreck. Sting comes out first here which is a strange choice to say the least. It doesn’t help that JB calls Styles (accompanied by Jimmy Hart of all people) Sting’s opponent. Jeff is world champion because he’s Jeff Jarrett and this is TNA. Luger is heavily muscled but clearly not in the best of shape. Before the match, Jarrett’s manager Don Callis (Cyrus/The Jackyl) says that AJ doesn’t belong in the same ring as Luger and Jarrett. Sting of course disagrees and we’re ready to go.
Jarrett starts with Sting and is quickly shoved down and headlocked. A Stinger Splash misses but Sting puts on the brakes and clotheslines Jarrett down. Off to AJ for the drop down into a dropkick and a knee to the chest for two. The good guys both try Scorpions on the heels but Luger and Jarrett bail to the floor.
It’s off to Luger for his first match in America since WCW went under. AJ is easily shoved down and a gorilla press shows off Luger’s power. We hit the bearhug for a few moments before Lex drops him to tag Jarrett back in. A spinebuster puts Styles down again and it’s back to Luger. That goes nowhere so it’s back to Jeff who counters a hurricanrana attempt. AJ is stuck on Jeff’s shoulders but gets him into the corner for the tag to Sting, only to have Luger distract the referee so the tag doesn’t count.
Jeff’s Figure Four is blocked but AGAIN the referee misses the hot tag. Luger sends AJ to the floor so Sting comes in sans tag to clean house. A Death Drop gets two on Jarrett but Luger breaks up the pin. Sting escapes the Torture Rack attempt as AJ comes back in with a springboard cross body on Luger for two. In a HORRIBLE looking ending, Sting comes in with the ball bat and hits Luger twice in the ribs and chest. Luger, ever the great performer, TOTALLY NO SELLS THEM until Sting hits him in the jaw, knocking Luger into a rollup by AJ for the pin. Luger pops up after the pin and looks shocked instead of, you know, dead.
Rating: D. The ending drags this down even more than I expected it to. Luger was trying but it was the same act that was getting tired eight years before this match. I’m not sure how much you can blame Sting as he hit Luger with a freaking BASEBALL BAT but Luger wouldn’t sell the shots. That just looked ridiculous and nearly more comical than anything else.
We talk about Jarrett’s struggles as champion, meaning he’s fighting everyone in the company at once. This transitions into Dusty vs. Jarrett for control of the company which transitions into a discussion of how TNA has grown over the years.
Dusty Rhodes vs. Jeff Jarrett
From November 26, 2003 and this is for control of the Asylum, which I assume means control of the company. It’s also billed as Fans’ Revenge, meaning there are “fans” at ringside with leather straps to act as lumberjacks. Jeff is world champion but of course this is non-title. The fans come out to Hulk Hogan’s WCW theme music (American Made) which made my head snap back to the monitor.
Jarrett offers to beat up all the fans and save Dusty for last. Tenay dedicates this match to recently deceased NWA World Champion Dick Hutton, which is a name you probably won’t hear more than five times ever in modern wrestling. Dusty scores with a quick Bionic Elbow and Jeff instinctively rolls to the floor, only to run back inside to escape the straps. Now Jeff runs from another elbow attempt and takes his chances on the floor.
More strap shots send him back inside to face the Dream as the fans (the real ones, not the indy workers at ringside) are getting into this. That same sequence happens a few more times as Rhodes just stands in the corner. Jeff finally realizes he’s fighting Dusty Rhodes and punches him down with ease but Dusty starts shaking. The Flip Flop and Fly sets up the Bionic Elbow to send Jeff out for more strapping.
Dusty takes one of the straps for some shots of his own but the referee gets bumped. Jeff gets the strap and beats on Dusty but Jimmy Hart and Don Callis (managers) come in to fight. This draws out Director of Authority Erik Watts to chokeslam Jarrett…and that’s that. The DVD just goes to another history package, meaning I guess it was a no contest?
Rating: D+. This falls under the category of you know what you’re getting. Dusty was fifty eight years old and hadn’t been an active wrestler in over ten years. The match was about the lumberjacks getting in some shots on Jarrett and giving the fans something amusing to see. Dusty would stick around as an authority figure four years.
On to disc 2.
We hit 2004 and talk about how TNA is more than just another indy company and is really getting a reputation. Again, that’s true. Dixie talks about getting in big names like Sting and Scott Hall coming in, even though Hall was there when the company started. Abyss was thrilled with having Terry Funk and Sting as his co-workers after growing up watching them.
Julio Dinero/CM Punk vs. Raven/Terry Funk
From February 18, 2004. Punk and Dinero are still the Gathering even though they’re not under Raven’s control anymore. Apparently this is Raven’s big return from an unknown amount of time gone. Dinero blasts Funk in the back with a chair before the bell as things starts in a brawl. Raven puts on a right side up Tarantula on Punk before Dinero comes in to save his heel partner. It’s SO strange to see Punk with shoulder length dirty blonde hair and yellow shorts.
Everyone heads outside where Funk is busted open. Punk takes Terry back inside to talk a lot of trash but Terry comes back with a Stunner of all things to send CM to the floor. Dinero comes in but gets decked as well. There’s the spinning toe hold and a small package for two on Julio as Punk makes the save. Dinero’s top rope backsplash hits Terry’s eternally damaged knees and Funk crawls over to the corner….but gets punched by CM Punk because the blood has blinded him.
The tag brings in Raven a few seconds later and Bird Boy cleans house. We get the rag (don’t ask) on Punk’s face and a bulldog/clothesline combo takes the Gathering down. Another Funk Stunner puts Dinero down and we get the TUMBLEWEED (abdominal stretch into a rolling rollup) for two. Raven comes back in and hits a quick DDT for the pin on Dinero.
Rating: D. This was about having Funk in there and that’s about it. The Stunners were out of nowhere but almost ignored by the announcers. I’ll give Terry this much: he isn’t just out there throwing punches and nothing more. It’s also strange to see Punk as a glorified indy guy instead of one of the biggest stars in the world.
Post match James Mitchell brings in a taser to take out Raven but Funk takes the shot instead.
We talk about Abyss vs. AJ Styles who feuded multiple times over the years. Abyss gets the spotlight here for a change.
Abyss vs. AJ Styles
From March 17, 2004 and this is a ladder match for the #1 contendership. The brawl is on immediately and AJ hits the Pele (called a bicycle kick here) to stagger the monster. AJ tries to hit the ropes but Abyss hits a HARD clothesline to take his head off. A chop that would make Big Show cringe puts AJ down and Abyss goes to get the ladder. Abyss shoves AJ down with the ladder from the floor but AJ just rams into Abyss to knock him back to the floor. Styles goes up the ladder but hops down and moves the ladder closer to the ropes. It takes too long to set up though and Abyss shoves the ladder down.
Both guys are back inside now and Abyss whips Styles hard into the ladder. The monster climbs up VERY slowly so AJ makes an easy save before bulldogging him onto the ladder. A springboard dropkick sends Abyss to the floor and Styles follows out with a dive. Now it’s AJ going up but Abyss blasts him in the back with a chair before wedging it between the ropes in the corner. Shock Treatment puts AJ down again and Abyss pulls out another ladder. This one stays outside though as he bridges it between the ring and the barricade.
AJ blocks a chokeslam by biting Abyss’ fingers but the monster throws him head first into the chair in the corner to knock Styles loopy. Abyss throws in some more chairs but AJ counters a powerbomb into the Styles Clash (really a pancake due to the legs not being wrapped around Abyss’ arms but close enough) in a very surprising power display. AJ goes up the ladder for a 450 splash, drawing a well earned THIS IS AWESOME chant.
They both climb again but AJ slows Abyss down with some kicks to the head. AJ can’t reach the contract so he busts out a sunset powerbomb to put Abyss through two chairs set up in the corner. Cue Raven to distract AJ for no explained reason, allowing Abyss to shove the ladder over, sending Styles FACE FIRST into the bridged ladder. Abyss easily gets the contract. Apparently Raven was trying to get Russo’s attention or something.
Rating: B+. They had my favorite match ever in TNA so it’s no surprise that I liked this too. It’s the David vs. Goliath formula which is going to work almost every time, especially when you have two people that can work at a high level. The ending felt abrupt but the big spots almost all worked here. Really good stuff, as expected.
We finally go back to the X-Division and talk about all the guys that came in to fill out the division. The expert on this subject:….Abyss? Oh never mind as he’s talking about all kinds of new guys coming in and not just X-Division people. The new guy in focus here: Monty Brown.
Sabu vs. Monty Brown
From April 14, 2004 and this is under hardcore rules. For you old guys, Brown is basically an intelligent Ahmed Johnson but about 10 years older. Sabu tries to jump Brown but gets sent into the corner with ease and pummeled like he stole something. Brown sends him into the ropes but gets caught in a springboard tornado DDT for two. A quick arm tie neckbreaker gives Brown control again but Sabu comes right back with a springboard middle rope huricanrana for another near fall.
It’s already chair time with Sabu pelting it at Brown’s head and staying there in a great visual. A stiff right hand sets up an overhead double underhook suplex from Monty but he takes too long going to the middle rope. Brown comes back again with hard right hands to the face and ribs. He wasn’t all that well rounded at this point if you didn’t notice. The Pounce (basically a hard shoulder block/spear) sends Sabu flying through the ropes and out to the floor.
That’s fine with him as he’s able to pull out a table, only to have Brown punch him in the face yet again. Sabu rams him face first into the table and hits a springboard dive to take Monty down. Another chair is pelted at Brown’s head for two (remember falls count anywhere) but he easily whips Sabu into the crowd. Brown hits a series of backbreakers across his knee before throwing Sabu into a pile of chairs.
A third chair is pelted at Monty’s head and Sabu drags a table out from behind the stands. They head into the locker room but Sabu comes flying back out. Abyss walks through the door before powerbombing Sabu through the table. Brown comes out of the locker room and squares off with Abyss but some dark haired chick comes out to calm Abyss down and take him away. A quick Pounds ends Sabu.
Rating: D+. This was just there to get a hardcore match on the set. Brown was a guy that seemed to have a ton of potential and would have been great as an over the top Scott Steiner style character. He never got pushed to the top though and I can see why that never happened. Sabu was his usual self here.
Back to Jeff Jarrett who talks about feuding with a ton of people and thinks the work came out well. I can’t say I disagree, but Jarrett did have the title more than he should have.
NWA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Jeff Jarrett
From April 21, 2004. Jarrett is defending inside a cage and AJ is a surprise opponent, even though the DVD graphic shows that it’s AJ. Jarrett thinks it’s going to be Raven but Director of Authority Vince Russo runs through other challengers for about five minutes before announcing Styles, sending West and Tenay into their usual frenzy. Pin/submission only here. Feeling out process to start with AJ outworking Jeff on the mat to frustrate the champion. A shoulder block gets AJ nowhere so he chops the skin off Jeff’s chest.
They trade armdrags and chops until Jeff jacks AJ’s jaw to take over. Styles avoids being rammed into the cage and drops down into a loud dropkick. The running knee drop gets two but Jeff comes back with some nice right hands. AJ nips up into a hurricanrana and gets two off a powerslam. They’re only in second or so gear at this point.
Styles gets two off a delayed vertical suplex but Jeff comes back by ramming AJ into the steel twice in a row. Rolling belly to back suplexes get another near fall for the champion and he stops an AJ comeback by avoiding a missile dropkick. It’s time to go after the leg but AJ counters the Figure Four into a small package for two. Instead it’s a Sharpshooter from the champ but AJ is quickly in the ropes. Jeff doesn’t let go of the hold and AJ counters into a Sharpshooter of his own, but Earl Hebner is nowhere in sight so we keep going.
The moonsault out of the corner into the reverse DDT gets two for AJ but the referee gets his eye poked. Powder in AJ’s eyes sets up a backslide for two but AJ comes back with blind kicks. The referee checks on AJ’s eyes but Jeff pulls out a chain and lays out Styles for two. Why Jeff has to hide these things in a cage is beyond me but the match has been good so I won’t complain. Jarrett has his Styles Clash countered and the real version gets two.
AJ goes up to the top of the cage but Jeff sends the referee into the wall to knock AJ down a bit. A flying shot into the cage knocks AJ to the floor (pin/submission only remember) but the referees get him back in. Jeff uses the opening to get a guitar but Vince Russo comes out for a distraction. AJ kicks the guitar to pieces and rolls Jarrett up for the pin and the title.
Rating: B. This continues the old theory of talented guys can have good matches no matter what rules they’re fighting under. To go back to what Jarrett was talking about, this is the kind of thing that you need veterans for in fledgling companies. Seeing AJ vs. a bunch of other guys fans have never heard of means nothing, but seeing AJ beat former WCW World Champion Jeff Jarrett for the title makes the fans think something of AJ.
Raven is livid.
On to some unique stuff from TNA: the six sided ring (unique for America at least). The theory seems to be that the number of sides doesn’t matter as long as the action is good. I can go with that idea.
X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Frankie Kazarian
From June 9, 2004 with Kaz defending. This is one of the first matches in the six sided ring which debuted six days earlier on the first episode of a show called Impact. It’s strange to see Kaz in Antonio Banderas form nowadays. Feeling out process to start with AJ taking the champion down into a front facelock. Kaz counters into an armbar as the fans tell him that he still sucks. An armdrag gets AJ free and they stare each other down again. Styles grabs the arm for a wristlock but Kaz gets in a shot to the jaw to escape.
Another armdrag sends Kaz out to the floor but he comes back with a wristlock of his own. AJ starts firing off some kicks to the thigh before peppering Kaz with forearms. Kaz sends him into the ropes but AJ drops down to set up the dropkick but the champion wisely heads outside. Back in and Kaz has to escape a Styles Clash attempt so now AJ hits the dropkick and a knee drop for two. Kaz gets sent out to the floor again and the frustration sets in for the champion.
Things start to pick up with AJ throwing Kaz back inside but getting caught by a slingshot DDT onto the apron. Back inside and Kaz suplexes Styles down and pounds away with right hands to the head. AJ tries a sunset flip but Kaz rolls through into a nice spinning neckbreaker for two. An ax handle to the back has AJ in trouble but he comes back with a running forearm in the corner but only hits turnbuckle on the second attempt. Kaz scores with a slingshot dropkick in the corner to knock the wind out of AJ after the miss knocked the senses out of him.
We hit a chinlock for a bit before going outside again with AJ being sent ribs first into the apron. Back in and Kaz snaps AJ’s throat over the top rope but misses his slingshot splash. This has been very good back and forth stuff so far which doesn’t leave me much to talk about. Both guys go to the corner and AJ superplexes Kaz down to the floor for a sick sounding thud.
Both guys are slow to get up and back inside but it’s Styles getting all fired up for forearms to the head. Kaz loads up a spinning downward spiral but AJ spins out and nails him with the Pele. The Styles Clash is countered with a kick to the head into a rollup for two and a kind of jumping superkick gets a very close two. Kaz puts him on the top rope but has to escape a middle rope Styles Clash. Instead it’s Kaz with the downward spiral (his finisher) for another near fall.
Kaz loads up a Clash (popular idea against AJ) but AJ gets free and takes the champion down with a discus lariat. Styles goes up again but another jumping superkick puts him down. AJ shoves him down and TOTALLY misses the Spiral Tap but covers anyway. Since there was literally no contact Kaz kicks out at two but the referee counts the pin anyway. The announcers are as confused as I was but we have a new champion.
Rating: B+. This was REALLY good stuff until the ending screwed things up. I mean there were literally nine inches of mat between AJ and Kaz on that Spiral Tap attempt but the pin counted anyway. Still though, I can easily accept nineteen minutes of awesome in exchange for thirty seconds of horrible.
We talk about the roster strength going into the TV deal on Fox Sport Net. The focus here is Jeff Hardy.
Jeff Hardy vs. Monty Brown
From July 28, 2004 for the #1 contendership, I believe for the first Victory Road PPV. Feeling out process to start with Brown easily shoving Hardy across the ring. Jeff comes back with a few standing switches and a leg trip to send Brown to the floor. Hardy does some Hogan-esque poses to tick Brown off. Back inside and Hardy hits the legdrop between the legs followed by the seated dropkick for two.
Brown is tired of this selling thing and starts choking and stomping on Jeff to take over. Three straight belly to back suplexes put Hardy down and the awesome selling begins by Jeff. Brown cranks on the arm a bit after working on the ribs for the last three minutes. Off to an STF which is a little bit better but Hardy makes it to the rope. Back up and Hardy has to hurricanrana out of a powerbomb before getting two off a clothesline.
Hardy runs the ropes but gets caught in a the Alpha Bomb (body slam position but Brown swings him up into a powerbomb) for two. Brown calls for the Pounce but Hardy counters into the most telegraphed Twist of Fate I can ever remember. He loads up the Swanton but Jeff Jarrett pulls Brown away. Monty doesn’t want it that way though and yells at Jarrett. Back inside and Monty misses the Pounce, allowing Hardy to get a rollup for the pin and the title shot.
Rating: C-. Not bad here but the lack of psychology on Brown’s part got on my nerves. The ending a showdown in the future but I don’t think it was for Victory Road. Why Hardy never won the title at this point was beyond me but that’s another story for later. Brown continues to have a great look but nothing to back it up with for the most part.
AJ talks about how the X-Division wrestlers will do stupid stuff to give the fans their money’s worth. Sabin and Shelley think about the same way.
AJ Styles vs. Kid Kash
From August 18, 2004 and this is a street fight. Kash smacks AJ in the face to start but gets thrown to the floor, setting up a big flip dive from Styles. AJ sends him into the barricade and kicks at the ribs before heading inside so Kash can beg for mercy. The breather lets Kash score with a jawbreaker and the fight heads back to the floor. Some chair shots put AJ down and Kid talks trash.
AJ slides under the guardrail and launches himself at Kash before throwing him into the crowd. A chair shot to the back sets up a backbreaker on the bleachers but Kash comes back with something resembling a DDT to get a breather. They head over to an opening next to the bleachers where a table just happens to be waiting. Kash goes into the scaffolding but AJ follows him as the camera has troubles keeping up.
They slug each other back and forth in front of a group of fans before Kash tries to throw AJ over the scaffolding. AJ hangs on but Kash follows him down before both guys fall about eight feet through the table onto the concrete. After some laying around they get back up for a trashcan shot to AJ’s back.
AJ headbutts Kash through the crowd and throws him into a wall. Back to the ring now where Kash escapes the Styles Clash and gets two off a standing hurricanrana. AJ comes back with a wheelbarrow suplex for two but his neckbreaker is countered into a suplex to give Kash his own near fall. Kash’s goon Dallas shows up to interfere but accidentally sends Kash into a rollup for the pin.
Rating: B-. This felt like a better version of an ECW brawl but it doesn’t make the match great. Kash is a guy that has never done anything for me other than the time he threatened to stab various people. The idea was to show physicality in the X-Division which worked, but it kind of takes away the aspect that made the division special.
We finally talk about the move to Orlando as the Asylum Era comes to an end. Mr. Anderson pops up above five hours into this thing to talk about hearing horror stories from when WCW taped at Universal Studios.
NWA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Jeff Jarrett
From September 18, 2004 with Jarrett defending. Hardy jumps Jarrett before the big match intros but referees hold them back so JB can do his thing. JB introduces championship committee member Larry Zbyszko but apparently Jarrett is a Sammartino fan as he goes after Hardy again. Hardy is introduced and runs Jarrett out of the ring again but JB WILL NOT BE DENIED. He gets the entrances done as security is holding a busted Jarrett down on the floor.
Security lets them go and the bell rings. It’s a brawl to start until Hardy armdrags Jarrett down. Monty Brown is watching from the stage. The champion goes after the knee but Hardy kicks him into the buckle to escape. Jarrett crotches him on top but his Stroke is countered into a middle rope bulldog for two. Jarrett bails to the floor so Hardy drops a top rope ax handle to the back of the head.
The champ gets backdropped into the crowd and Hardy follows him out with a Whisper in the Wind. Jarrett is able to get in a chair shot to take over as Abyss is also watching from the stage. Hardy blocks being thrown off the balcony because it would, you know, kill him so Jarrett hits him with a chair and takes him back to ringside instead. The referee went down somewhere in there so the Jeffs are all alone in the ring. Hardy hits the Swanton for two as the referee was late getting back in.
Now the Figure Four goes on and Hardy is in big trouble. Raven is watching as well as Hardy turns the hold over. Hardy comes back with a leg lock (Sharpshooter without his legs intertwining with Jarrett’s) but the champion makes the ropes and bails to the floor. Dusty Rhodes beats up Jarrett due to reasons not mentioned, drawing out Director of Authority Vince Russo. Hardy hits a bad looking downward spiral but misses the Swanton. One guitar shot later and Jarrett keeps the belt.
Rating: C. This was another garbage brawl that belonged in 2000 WWF more than here. The ending was the same stuff we sat through with Jarrett for years with Dusty and Russo taking up more screen time. The match was nothing great but these two never did have the best chemistry together.
One last thank you to the Asylum fans wraps us up.
Overall Rating: B. For a five and a half hour DVD, this was actually really solid stuff. There are some very good matches on here with the cage and ladder matches standing out above the rest. That being said, there’s at least an hour that could have been cut out of here without anything being missed. You could pretty easily drop the D’Lo/AJ vs. XXX match, the Dusty vs. Jarrett match and Raven vs. Shane and tighten this up a lot.
Overall this is more accurately titled “Remember When Jeff Jarrett Wouldn’t Go Away And AJ Styles Ruled The World”, which isn’t a bad thing as those were some good times for the top of the company. That being said, the lack of Ron Killings is pretty bizarre as he held the title for about four months combined. Other than that and a low level of Jerry Lynn, they covered the top of the card around this time quite well.
This set is available for $20 on TNAwrestling.com and is worth the cost if you’re a fan of what TNA used to be. I’ve even seen it on sale for five bucks, meaning you’re getting wrestling at a buck an hour and you can’t top that. Good set to start this off with but the idea of going nine hours is rather terrifying.
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Impact Wrestling – December 26, 2013: A Late Piece Of Christmas Suck
Impact Wrestling Date: December 26, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
We close out the year tonight with the fallout from last week’s Final Resolution which saw Magnus (in theory) join up with Dixie as the new corporate champion. This should mean the imminent return of AJ Styles and the unification match for the two titles. It should also be interesting to see if TNA starts having more matches during the show or sticks with around three plus a lot of talking. Let’s get to it.
After the usual recap of last week’s events, here’s Spud in the ring to get things going. He gives a very elaborate introduction for someone very important to all of us: Dixie Carter. She talks about how great the last seven days have been and talks about how Santa didn’t deliver the title to Jeff Hardy like the fans wanted him to. That doesn’t matter though because the right man wanted. The fans sound like they want AJ.
Dixie has a major announcement that she’s been hyping up all week on social media but Jeff Hardy cuts her off. Jeff has some complaints to make but Dixie cuts him off. The fans aren’t interested in what Jeff has to say so he threatens Spud for what he did to Jeff last week. Spud goes all pompous Brit on Jeff and orders him out of the ring. Spud is sent into the corner but EC3 runs out to jump Hardy, knocking him to the floor. Dixie loads up the announcement but here’s Sting to interrupt as well.
Carter and Spud roll to the floor like proper cowardly heels should and Sting grabs the mic. He’s tired of entitled pipsqueaks getting everything they want, so Sting isn’t leaving until both he and the fans get what they want: Sting beating the tar out of Ethan Carter. The Icon wants Carter/Spud vs. Sting/Hardy but Dixie says no way. Dixie says she’ll give Sting a tag match but doesn’t say who is in it. Her music comes on but she wants to make her announcement. The music keeps going as we take a break.
Back with Dixie trying to make the announcement again but this time Gunner interrupts. Gunner wants his title shot right now but Dixie turns him down because Magnus is in England. Gunner grabs the mic from Dixie and says to let Magnus know that the cash-in is coming sooner rather than later. Dixie tries for I think the fourth time to make the announcement but here’s James Storm to interrupt this time. James thinks Gunner owes him something but Gunner disagrees.
Storm talks about Gunner costing him the match against Bobby Roode when Storm asked him to. Gunner says he did it for Storm’s own good because Storm was in a bar fight the night before. Storm says that may be true but he wants to know who told Roode about the bar fight. James thinks Gunner is the stooge and wants a match for that case tonight. Dixie says ok because Gunner interrupted her. She’s not ready for the announcement though so everyone has to wait for later.
Gunner vs. James Storm
For the Feast or Fired case. They shove each other to start until Gunner sends Storm into the corner but walks into a headlock takeover. Gunner shoves him into the corner again but Storm hits a quick enziguri from the apron. A running forearm gets two on Gunner and a facebuster gets the same. Gunner gets in a knee lift to the ribs and puts on a quickly broken chinlock as the announcers talk about the announcement. Storm comes back with a tackle/spear to send both guys out to the floor…..for a VERY fast double countout at 4:58.
Rating: D. This was all about extending the feud which is the right idea. I’d assume we’re headed for a gimmick match at Genesis to blow this off so the ending makes sense. That doesn’t mean it was executed well at all though as the ten count took maybe five seconds and we didn’t see any of the count until the end.
They fight to the back as referees fail to pull them apart.
Brooke is annoyed at Bully Ray for annoying her since he doesn’t seem to want her anymore. That’s fine with her as she’ll just go air all his dirty secrets in the ring. Bully says her name but that’s it.
Magnus talks about all the bad characters he’s been given over the years which counts as paying dues. He talks about being called the future, meaning he’s not ready yet “because some people weren’t ready to hang it up yet, BROTHER”. This felt like part of a shoot interview.
Here’s Brooke to demand answers from Bully. She understands that he’s mad at her for throwing the hammer, but she’s not accepting full blame for everything. Here’s Ray in a hoodie and sunglasses as Brooke insists that this can be fixed. It’s neither of their faults that Aces and 8’s ended but Ray turns his back on her. Brooke yells at him for not respecting her and reminds him that Ray said throw the hammer. Ray was supposed to be her ticket to the big time but now he’s that weird high school kid that has no friends.
Brooke says she’s no one’s property and that she’s done but Ray grabs her arm. Ray says she’s done when he’s done with her but he doesn’t blame her for anything. After all, she’s not the smartest girl in the world but she was there for certain uses. She wasn’t even that good at those things thought and sometimes he would close his eyes and think of Brooke #1.
He could piledrive her right now but instead he’s going to use her to spread his word. She knows how evil he can be, so she can let everyone know what’s in store for them. Ray takes off the glasses and says it’s going to be a lot worse as ominous music plays. He’s done with her.
Joseph Park is scared to have a Monster’s Ball match.
Magnus thinks being in the Main Event Mafia was the way the Mafia kept him on a leash.
Ethan tries to get out of the tag match but Dixie says she has them covered.
We recap Park’s revelation that he’s Abyss.
Park is scared but Young says believe in himself. Eric says hit the music and it’s the old Abyss song. He gives Park Janice to make him feel better.
Joseph Park vs. Bad Influence
Monster’s Ball, meaning anything goes with weapons at ringside. Park has Janice while the team grabs a kendo stick and crutch. Bad Influence surrounds Park but he swings Janice…and drops it, allowing the heels to score with shots to the ribs and back. Park gets taken down and Kaz hits a backsplash before more weapons are thrown inside. Kaz throws in a trash can which hits Park in the head but there’s no blood yet. Daniels stomps on Park in the corner and chokes him with a cord.
Kaz loads up a chair shot but Daniels stops him to prevent blood. Park comes back with his usual basic offense and picks up a kendo stick. Kaz gets in a cheap shot with a trashcan lid though and Bad Influence takes over again. They head outside and send Park into the steps but have to stop and check for blood again. Back inside and Park backdrops Daniels over the top before splashing a trashcan lid into Kaz.
There’s a Boston crab on Kaz’s damaged ribs but Daniels comes back in with a crutch to break the hold. Eric Young finally comes out for some moral support but Park says he needs help. Young loads up some right hands to Park’s head but Bad Influence makes the save. Kaz tries a kendo stick shot but Park shoves him out of the way to take the shot to the forehead. We’ve got blood, kendo stick shots, Shock Treatment to Kaz, Black Hole Slam to Daniels for the pin at 10:24.
Rating: D. WAY too long for the end result. This is the same idea they’ve been using for months now and the fact that it’s taking Eric Young to get us there makes it all the more annoying. The stuff with not letting Park get hit in the head was smart so the match wasn’t a total loss. Just too long.
Jeff Hardy is on the phone with his wife. He’s had a plan for a few weeks and it goes down tonight.
Magnus talks about the BFG Series being proof he could hang with anyone. The loss to AJ was what changed him because he never wants to feel that again. The win over Sting at BFG was the biggest win of his career.
ODB vs. Lei’D Tapa
Before the match Gail tells Madison to stay out of her business. ODB can’t slam her so she chops at Tapa instead. Tapa sends ODB into the corner and slowly pounds away before kicking ODB in the face. ODB avoids a middle rope seated senton (which would have missed if she hadn’t moved) but still can’t drop Tapa with shoulder blocks. Gail throws the title belt into the ring and pulls ODB’s hair to distract her, allowing Tapa to hit the TKO for the pin at 4:16.
Rating: D. They treated this as the female version of the Colossal Jostle but even that match looked great by comparison. I have no idea who TNA thinks cares about either of these girls but the fans here didn’t seem interested in them at all. Madison at least has some appeal to her while ODB is just loud and unpleasant.
Gail says that was a lesson for Madison.
Sabin and Velvet have a nice moment in the back. Chris has an X Title match next week and he blames Velvet for losing the title in the first place. She doesn’t think she can help him so he says he’ll find a girl that can.
Magnus talks about having Dixie in his corner and how their partnership will last for years.
Ethan Carter III/Rockstar Spud vs. Sting/Jeff Hardy
Before the match Dixie makes her announcement: next week there’s a coronation. Oh and this will be a tag match, but it’s a tag team handicap match.
Ethan Carter III/Rockstar Spud/Bro Mans vs. Sting/Jeff Hardy
Carter and Spud want nothing to do with Sting so they both tag out with Jesse eventually getting the start. Sting hiptosses him down but Zema Ion grabs Sting’s leg to get an advantage. Carter comes in but Sting gets up so it’s off to Robbie before any contact is made. Jeff comes in with a middle rope splash for two and a backdrop to send Robbie out to the floor. Carter accidentally tackles Godderz to the floor, setting up a dive (with Sting as a springboard) to take out all four heels at once.
The four of them pull Jeff down and stomp away for their first advantage as we take a break. Back with Godderz getting two off a knee to the ribs. A powerslam gets the same and it’s back to Robbie who gets two off a clothesline. Jesse comes back in for a half crab and Sting is suckered in, allowing a four man beatdown on Hardy. Carter mocks Sting with a Stinger Splash but Jeff comes back with a jawbreaker. Sting comes in and cleans house, even with Spud on his back in an impressive feat. Sting keeps beating everyone up but Carter grabs a rollup for the clean pin at 13:30. Taz said he had tights but I didn’t see them.
Rating: D+. This was another dull match in a string of them tonight. It’s not like Sting and Hardy got screwed over, or at least it didn’t come off like they did. The match made the tag champions look like jobbers which is a step backward for them after how much better they’ve looked lately. Boring match here and I don’t know what it accomplished.
Post match Hardy gets on the mic and thanks Sting for getting him into the business. Last week he was the better man but lost because of the politics. The fans chant for Hardy but he says the fight’s all gone. This was his last match in TNA and he’s leaving until the sun shines on this dark kingdom. Hardy says he loves the Creatures, takes off his shirt, and leaves.
Overall Rating: D. Well they’re back to boring already. Save for the decent promo work from Magnus, there was nothing to see here. We’re still just waiting for AJ to come back which will probably be at the coronation next week. That doesn’t make this week any better though as we had four dull or short matches which makes for a LONG two hour show.
Results
James Storm vs. Gunner went to a double countout
Joseph Park b. Bad Influence – Black Hole Slam to Daniels
Lei’D Tapa b. ODB – TKO
Bro Mans/Rockstar Spud/Ethan Carter III b. Sting/Jeff Hardy – Rollup to Sting
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Impact Wrestling – December 18, 2013: It’s Dixieland Y’All!
Impact Wrestling Date: December 19, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Tonight is the Final Resolution special with a double main event. The main stories are the Dixieland match with Magnus facing Jeff Hardy in the world title tournament final and Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Roode in a 2/3 falls match which might be the blowoff to their feud. The other question is where AJ Styles fits into this whole picture, assuming he still has a job in this company. We also get the Feast or Fired reveals tonight. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the AJ fiasco which set up the tournament.
Magnus is looking for Jeff and Dixie but neither are here. That’s fine with him as he’s got something to say that will get everyone’s attention.
Here’s Magnus to talk about how much he loves this business just like everyone else in the back. That’s why they’ve all worked so hard to get where they are today. He’s made his living as a wrestler here for five years and has learned one thing: money is power. Magnus understands all that but thinks the respect is what really matters. However, he isn’t sure if Jeff Hardy feels the same. Jeff might have slayed his demons, but maybe there’s one little demon coming back in: greed.
Magnus wants an explanation for why Hardy was seen having drinks with Dixie Carter last week, so here’s Jeff to respond. The Brit says Hardy has the fans fooled but Magnus remembers 10-10-10 when Jeff sold out to become world champion. Fans: “WE DON’T CARE!” Jeff basically tells Magnus to mind his own business and drops the mic.
Angle says everything changes tonight when he beats Bobby Roode twice.
We recap Roode vs. Angle with Roode getting the better of Angle every time since BFG.
Chavo Guerrero is excited about his chances in Feast or Fired. Zema Ion comes up and makes annoying noises.
Kurt Angle vs. Bobby Roode
2/3 falls. Aggressive feeling out process with both guys countering everything the other one has until an ankle lock attempt sends Roode to the ropes for a break. A belly to belly sends Roode tot he floor but Angle throws him back inside for the rolling Germans. Roode avoids the Angle Slam and hides behind the referee to hit Angle low. A Death Valley Driver gives Bobby the first fall at 4:10 and we take a break.
Back with Roode missing a knee drop and Angle coming back with forearms and a release overhead belly to belly. Roode sidesteps a charge to send Angle’s shoulder into the post but the Crossface is countered into the Angle Slam for the pin at 10:00 total. Roode tries to leave but Angle throws him back inside for more rolling Germans but Bobby snaps on the Crossface. Angle counters into a rollup but Roode puts him right back in the Crossface.
Kurt escapes again but Roode DDTs his arm down and puts the hold on for the third time. Angle rolls out one more time and puts on the ankle lock. Roode is about to tap so Angle switches over to a Crossface. Bobby fights out and tries another Death Valley Driver, only to have Angle slip behind the back and hit the Angle Slam for two. Back to the ankle lock but Roode rolls through and grabs the rope for the pin (just like Angle did to Roode at BFG 11) at 14:55. Kurt even puts his face in his hands like Roode did two years ago.
Rating: B-. The match and ending in particular were good but it never hit that level that they were going for. The commercial hurt this a lot as any momentum they had built up in the first section stopped cold as a result. Still though, good stuff, but I don’t think this is the blowoff just yet.
Storm says Gunner gambled last week, which offends Gunner for some reason.
Angle looks shell shocked in the back and is terrified by the idea of Roode having his number.
Video on Madison Rayne returning with Madison talking about her history with Gail Kim.
Ethan Carter III isn’t worried because he knows the boss. His phone rings and he walks off, but the camera follows him. It’s Dixie who can’t fix things if Ethan gets fired. Thankfully he has it on speaker and up to his ear.
Eric Young has a gift for Abyss.
After a video recapping Eric telling Park he’s Abyss, Young calls out Park for a chat. Park thinks Eric is wrong, but Eric has made him a match next week with Park facing Bad Influence. Joseph rightfully freaks out but Eric makes it even worse: it’s Monster’s Ball. Park says that’s Abyss’ match but Eric has gifts for Park. Park gets a chair, a bag of thumbtacks, and barbed wire. He’s still not convinced, but Eric has saved the best for last. Park is sent under the ring to find….Janice, the 2×4 covered in nails. Joseph gets very serious and says he’ll do it.
We look at Magnus accusing Hardy earlier before going to Hardy in the back. He looks upset when Samoa Joe sits down and asks if there’s any truth to what Magnus suggested. Hardy is offended and leaves.
It’s time to reveal Feast or Fired in a room backstage. Dixie comes in and talks about how amazing an idea this is before going to Ion for the first reveal. Zema gets an X-Division Title shot. Gunner goes next and says Storm will be his partner if he gets the Tag Title shot. Instead it’s the World Title shot and Storm is MAD. That leaves Chavo and Carter with Chavo saying no matter what happens, he’s still a Guerrero. Carter says he’ll never lose and never be fired.
Before we get the reveal, Sting comes in and is thrilled that Ethan might be fired. The dramatic music actually works here for a change. Sting offers Ethan a deal: he’ll take the case and whatever it contains in exchange for one match with Carter. Ethan takes the case and gets the Tag Title shot, meaning Chavo is fired.
Magnus says he’ll win the title and all questions will be answered.
Gail Kim/Lei’D Tapa vs. ODB/Madison Rayne
Tapa throws Madison down to start so it’s off to ODB for the power showdown. ODB gets slammed with ease and it’s off to Gail as the announcers talk about a kickboxing show. The champion lays in some kicks before it’s back to Tapa for some choking. Tapa misses a charge in the corner and it’s off to Madison for some house cleaning. ODB is sent to the floor but Madison counters Eat Defeat into a backslide for the pin at 5:50.
Rating: D+. This was what it was. Madison is a good hand to have back and the new looks works very well for her, but bringing in one new girl isn’t going to help the division’s long term problems. Tapa continues to bore me to death every time I see her. She’s big and different looking and that’s the end of her appeal.
Sting tells Jeff that he’s been where Jeff is before and to play it cool.
Dixie has told Spud to get a new World Title belt made.
Video recapping the tournament.
Jeff Hardy comes out for the match and addresses the accusations. Three years ago he made a mistake but he’s a different man now. Yeah he met with Dixie, but he thought about his family and his fans so Dixie’s offer is rejected because nobody owns Jeff Hardy. This brings out Dixie who says Hardy owes everything he has to her. She’s the one who stood by him and all that matters is her company, not Hardy’s family. Jeff needs Hardy more than she needs him so she’s going to watch from ringside.
TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Magnus
This is Dixieland, meaning it starts in a cage and the winner has to escape and climb a ladder at the top of the stage to pull down the title. Magnus sends Hardy into the corner to start but gets caught in a headscissors. A running forearm in the corner has Magnus in trouble and Jeff rains down right hands. Magnus comes right back with a running clothesline but Hardy avoids the top rope elbow. Hardy tries to leave but shoves Magnus down and misses the Swanton. EC3 is watching at the ramp as we take a break.
Back with Hardy being pulled back through the camera hole before kicking Magnus in the chest to put him down. Hardy goes to climb out but drops a Vader Bomb from the middle of the ropes to keep Magnus down. The Twist of Fate looks to set up a second Twist of Fate but Magnus shoves him off and chop blocks Jeff’s knee. The Texas Cloverleaf has Hardy in trouble and a Snow Plow sets up the top rope elbow from Magnus.
Hardy fights up and hits a quick Whisper in the Wind before climbing up for a HUGE Whisper from the top of the cage to put both guys down again. They both climb over the top but EC3 goes to stop Magnus. The Brit fights him off but Hardy goes after Carter anyway because he wants to win fair. Magnus and Hardy slug it out on the floor but Hardy hits another Twist of Fate on the ramp. Jeff goes to the ladder but Dixie begs him to not go up. Hardy goes up anyway but Spud shoves the ladder down, sending Hardy down the ramp in an ugly crash. Magnus goes up to win the title at 17:43.
Rating: B-. Obvious ending aside, this was still a good match that gets better if you just make it a cage match. The ladder felt like overkill and the match being called Dixieland made it feel more silly than important. Hardy is good in this role and Magnus as the Corporate Champion makes sense.
The Author….Dixie and company celebrate to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. I liked the show for the most part but the ending was pretty telegraphed. Luckily here it didn’t hurt things too badly and Magnus as the Corporate Champion makes sense with Dixie being annoyed at AJ being a country hick. This sets up the unification match that TNA has been wanting, even though I don’t think Magnus vs. Styles is going to draw the biggest audience. Good show but the midcard continues to be ignored.
Results
Bobby Roode b. Kurt Angle – Rollup while grabbing the ropes
ODB/Madison Rayne b. Gail Kim/Lei’D Tapa – Backslide to Kim
Magnus b. Jeff Hardy – Magnus pulled down the title
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On This Day: December 5, 2004 – Turning Point 2004: Elix Skipper Should Be Dead
Turning Point 2004
Date: December 5, 2004
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 700
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West
This is the second ever three hour PPV from TNA so don’t expect much in the way of groundbreaking stuff. That being said, the main event is one of the most famous as well as scariest moments ever in TNA. Also to the best of my knowledge, this is Randy Savage’s last wrestling match ever. Let’s get to it.
Oh and I forgot: this is the DUMB angle where TNA sent guys to a WWE show with a bunch of gifts and filmed the WWE wrestlers talking and chatting with TNA guys. For some reason, this is SCANDALOUS and we see the tape tonight.
The opening video is about the six man main event with Hardy/Styles/Savage saying they love the business and the Kings of Wrestling (Hall/Nash/Jarrett) in Elvis suits saying it’s about them. This goes on way too long and has way too many Elvis jokes.
Vince and HHH impersonators say they’ll never allow the tape to air. Abyss comes up with balloons and Fake HHH runs from him. This could be a really long night.
Tag Titles: Ron Killings/BG James vs. Eric Young/Bobby Roode
3 Live Kru are the champions. They won the titles from the Canadians a month ago, making this a rematch. Young and BG get things going with Young being rammed into all of the buckles. Young tries to steal BG’s gyrating punches so the Kru hits their version of What’s Up. Here’s Roode to face Truth. Truth is a replacement for Konnan who is injured so this is under the Freebird Rule.
Truth hits his usual not-WWE stuff and gets two off a spinning kick. The Canadians double team Truth with a double backbreaker for two. They take over with Roode bringing Young back in. Young stomps on Truth in the corner but Truth won’t even sell it at all. He pulls himself up and hits a missile dropkick. No tag as it’s back to Roode. They try their own What’s Up but Truth escapes and makes the tag.
James knocks Roode to the outside and punches Young down. Roode comes back in and James gets two on him off a forearm. Young goes up but Truth hits the ax kick. Roode hits his spinebuster on James for a VERY close two. Roode sets for maybe a spear but the Kru hits a Hart Attack with a side kick instead of a clothesline. James loads up the pumphandle but Johnny Devine runs in and hits James in the back with a hockey stick so the Canadians can get the titles.
Rating: C-. Not terrible here and it was ok enough for an opener. It wasn’t particularly good and I didn’t care who won by the end. That’s a running problem for this era of TNA: the matches and feuds aren’t really compelling as they’re trying desperately to keep a show on and fill in three hours. There’s some ok stuff in here though so it’s certainly not a failure or anything.
Shane Douglas talks to the Director of Authority (GM/boss) Dusty Rhodes. Dusty says this is a huge night and that the Kings of Wrestling will get what’s coming to them. The fans are talking on the internet about Cookie Gate. Yeah it’s about the tape again.
We recap the X-Division 6 man. This involves Roddy Piper and Jimmy Snuka for some reason. Apparently Kash has been saying that Jimmy’s dive off the cage meant nothing while Sonjay’s team says don’t diss the Superfly. I’ve heard far worse reasons to have a feud.
Matt Bentley/Kazarian/Kid Kash vs. Sonny Siaki/Sonjay Dutt/Hector Garza
The beard doesn’t work on Kaz at all. Sonjay and Kash start us off with some mat wrestling. Hector comes in and it’s Bentley punching him. Garza was a guy that was supposed to get a big push in TNA, even pinning Scott Hall if I remember. Siaki vs. Kaz now as things speed up. Siaki and Sonjay team up for an assisted rana to Kaz. Traci distracts Sonjay so Kaz can hit a one armed DDT to give us our face in peril.
The heels work over Sonjay, mainly focusing on the arm. They do the whole lack of tag thing to bring Bentley in to crank on the arm even more. There’s a Stunner to the arm and the heels work on Dutt’s arm even more. They tag in and out and all take some shots at it. Kash sets for a hammerlock slam but rams the arm into the buckle instead. Dutt tries to fire back with right hands but Bentley takes him down by the arm.
Dutt is pulled back to the corner and Kaz comes in again and more arm work follows. Do any of them know a match ending arm submission? Dutt is sent to the ropes and manages to hit a miracle springboard rana and it’s hot tag to Garza. Garza hits a high moonsault on Kaz and everything breaks down. Garza backdrops Dutt 360 degrees over the top to the floor. Traci’s interference backfires and Garza gets the pin on Bentley with a corkscrew moonsault.
Rating: C+. Pretty fun tag match here with more of a classic story than a spotfest. That’s very nice for a change of pace and it worked well here. Dutt did well selling the arm and Garza looked like a big deal. Then he got busted for steroids (which to be fair were legal in Mexico) and hasn’t really appeared in America since.
Savage talks to Scott Hudson (seriously?) and says nothing of note.
Coach D’Amore says Petey will keep the title.
Video on the Serengeti Survival Match, which means hardcore I think. Monty Brown beat Abyss in a Monster’s Ball Match and then got a world title shot on Impact. Abyss jumped him before the match and the injuries cost him the title. There’s a focus on thumbtacks in this.
Monty Brown vs. Abyss
Abyss is the monster heel here and Brown has bad ribs. Brown wants to start it on the ramp and here we go. You can win by pin, submission or slamming the other person into tacks. Abyss rams him into the apron to work on the back. He pulls off the tape early on and Brown is in trouble. Abyss gets a table set up quickly and the fans want fire. Greedy freaks.
The table is set up in the corner and Abyss grabs a bag. The fans still want fire. Brown comes back with a clothesline and right hands. We’re in trouble now as Brown has used up about 50% of his offense in the first three minutes. Big boot gets two for Abyss. West calls Abyss cunning and very smart. And people wonder why he’s not announcing anymore. Abyss brings in a chair and hits him in the injured ribs with it. Why don’t heels ever have injured ribs? When you turn face do you sacrifice the strength in your ribs?
The chair is placed on Brown’s ribs and Abyss hits an Earthquake onto the chair for two. The fans chant to use the table. All Abyss at this point as he pounds on the ribs. The fans continue to get on my nerves by chanting various annoying things. Abyss sets for another Earthquake but Brown moves the chair to crotch Abyss. A chair to the head puts Abyss down and Brown hits a British Bulldog powerslam onto the chair.
The Pounce is countered into the Black Hole Slam for a delayed two. That’s not a move you often see kicked out of. Abyss wedges a chair between the turnbuckles and of course is rammed into it. The Pounce hits but it knocks Abyss to the floor. The delay results in it only getting a two count. Brown tries another Pounce but Abyss ducks, sending Brown head first into the table for two. Both guys get bags of tacks and OH SWEET MERCIFUL GOODNESS BROWN RIPS ABYSS’ SHIRT OFF!!! THEY’RE JIGGLING!!! Brown hits an Alabama Slam into the tacks and I need to go see a doctor.
Rating: C+. This was a fine lesson in hardcore wrestling. Here’s the idea: if the match is about the guys and the weapons are props, the match is usually better. When the match is about the weapons and the guys are props, the match is usually worse. This was about Abyss vs. Brown and the tacks and other stuff were there too, making for a much more entertaining match.
HHH and Vince break any tape they find, including Best of D-Ray 3000.
Mike and Don run down the rest of the card.
Pat Kenney/Johnny B. Badd vs. Glen Gilbertti/Johnny Swinger
Gilbertti and Swinger are known as the New York Connection. Great: Jacqueline is the referee. Kenney is kind of famous as Simon Diamond from ECW. He and Swinger were a tag team in ECW so there’s history there. There’s no story here that I can find so we’re in filler territory. Kenney and Swinger start as the fans chant Simon Diamond. Simon (screw it) fights off both of the NYC until Gilbertti is sent outside.
Off to Badd who looks really weird with short hair. The NYC double teams Simon to take over. Badd seems content to chill on the apron. It’s not a heel move or anything. He just doesn’t seem to care. Jackie breaks up some double teaming and Swinger gets two off a clothesline. They work on Simon’s back which was injured in the match somewhere. Simon hits a sitout spinebuster on Swinger which allows the tag to Badd. Both heels get knee lfits TKO to Glenn is broken up by Swinger. Gilbertti shoves Jackie and Stuns Badd but Jackie gets involved (of course) and slams Gilbertti. TKO by Badd ends this.
Rating: D. Imagine that: Jackie messes up a match. To be fair though the match was boring, mainly because there was no real story to this. The NYC were one of the leftovers from the older run of the company so they were brought along for about five minutes. This was nothing of note though and was pretty bad. To be fair though, it was just there to bridge us to the second half of the show.
The Kings of Wrestling (who have no relation to Hero and Castagnoli if you’re curious) put Savage (we couldn’t see him) into a car and send it off, presumably making it a handicap match later.
Recap of Raven vs. DDP. Raven wants to be world champion so DDP came in and hit him with Diamond Cutters to come out of retirement. Erik Watts is in this somehow too but his black hole of caring keeps me from looking up why.
Raven vs. Diamond Dallas Page
Watts sits in on commentary. That’s fine as long as he doesn’t wrestle. Page’s music is a complete ripoff of his WCW song. Page claims Raven has been living somewhere rent free so tonight Page is collecting. Ok then. Discus lariat puts Raven down. Page baseball slides Raven to the floor and they head into the crowd. This is Raven’s Rules apparently.
Page hits him with a trashcan and we head back to ringside. We had a ref bump in there somewhere so a replacement came out. Page tries the Cutter but Raven grabs the rope. He puts on some weird helmet he brought with him and rams it into Page almost like Juggernaut. Raven has a chair brought in and then facewashes DDP in the corner. Drop toehold onto the chair gets two.
Page gets up like it’s nothing and hammers away on Raven. Another discus clothesline sets up a regular clothesline but the Cutter is countered by a low blow. Rollup gets two. Another rollup gets two and we’ve got blood. A horrible bulldog gets two for Raven. Page belly to bellies him for two. Raven superkicks him down for two. There’s no flow to this at all as it’s more of a spotfest than the X match earlier.
Diamond Cutter only gets two and we’ve got druids. DDT kills Page but it only gets two. Raven calls in the druids but Watts comes in to stop them. Both get chokeslams and the druid is revealed to be wearing khaki shorts. Watts turns on Page and clotheslines him down. Cutter to Watts, Cutter to Raven, pin.
Rating: D. Bad match for the most part because these two don’t bother selling anything. And why should they? Raven didn’t have to in ECW because he hardly ever lost and Page didn’t have to because he was over 40 in WCW. The match was really boring as a result and I don’t think anyone cares. Watts’ turn didn’t mean anything either.
Vince and HHH complain about the lack of food. Traci comes in with milk and cookies and Vince yells at her, saying bring him Dusty.
We recap the X Title match. Sabin won an Ultimate X match and has countered the Destroyer a few times to get in Petey’s head.
X-Division Title: Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin
They trade counters to start and the fans are split. Cradle Shock is countered and Petey is freaked out. They mess up a leapfrog and Petey hits his leg on Chris’ head. Standoff as Petey is getting frustrated. Springboard dropkick sends Petey to the outside again and he almost jumps into the Cradle Shock again. They head to the floor and Petey hits a sweet slingshot rana from the ring to the floor.
Sabin one ups that and release powerbombs Williams into the barricade. Then he heads into the crowd and dives over about three rows of fans to clothesline Petey. Sweet sequence! Petey gets in a shot though and D’Amore chokes Sabin while Petey has the referee. Back inside and Petey does the O Canada bit as he stands on Sabin’s crotch.
Standing tornado DDT gets two as well. Tenay rants about D’Amore as he’s known to do. Petey hits a few suplexes for two. He’s trying to prove that he’s not a one move wonder. The fans are still split. I think the guys are a bit tired as the match has slowed down a good bit. Petey goes up so Sabin runs the corner like Angle to suplex Williams down. So much for things slowing down I guess.
They slug it out and neither guy can do much. Other than the spinning enziguri by Sabin followed by the running powerbomb for two. Sabin gets caught in the Tree of Woe but pulls up to avoid a suicide dive, then hits a BIG plancha to take Williams out. This is REALLY good. Petey flips into a Russian legsweep for two. Destroyer is countered into the Cradle Shock which is countered by Petey into a Sharpshooter!
Sabin gets the rope and they go to the corner. Chris sets for what looks like a superplex but Petey tries a sunset bomb to counter. Sabin counters that and flips Petey backwards so that Petey’s face slams into the mat. That gets rolled through after the contact into a piledriver by Sabin for a VERY close two. Sabin tries the Cradle Shock but D’Amore gets on the apron. That lets Williams get brass knuckles to hit Sabin with for the pin to retain. That ending BLOWS after the match they were having!
Rating: B+. This was AWESOME as they were countering everything and kept the pace going for at least eighty percent of the match. The ending is horrible though as they built up the match forever and then just stop it dead with a cheap ending. This got the crowd going strong for the two main events though and that’s why these guys are out there. Excellent match and if you give it a better ending it’s a classic.
A midget (Demo from Micro Championship Wrestling) beats up Vince for no apparent reason.
Recap of the Kings of Wrestling vs. Hardy/Styles/Savage. The Kings say they’re taking over and that’s about it. The other three guys say they’re fighting for TNA.
Jeff Hardy/AJ Styles/Randy Savage vs. Kings of Wrestling
Savage was kidnapped remember. The Kings come out to Elvis impersonator music and Elvis suits. AJ looks like he’s about 19 here. Jarrett is world champion. Hall looks almost human. AJ and Jarrett start us off. Bah I can’t say Jeff in this. AJ and the champ see who can get the bigger reactions from the crowd then do some technical stuff. A headscissors takes Jarrett down and a dropkick takes him down again.
Off to Hall. He and Nash are wrestling in those Elvis suits. Give me a break. Hall works on the arm so AJ takes the knees out to control. He wants Nash so Hall spits at him and makes the tag. AJ uses the speed again and dropkicks all three Kings down. Hardy is tagged in and dropkicks Hall and Jarrett down as things speed up. Slingshot dropkick by Hardy has Nash in trouble.
Nash gets in a big boot and Hardy is in trouble. Here’s the champ who beat Hardy last month at Victory Road. I always thought that was two or three months before this show. Jarrett hot shots him on the top rope and it’s time to strut. Back to Hall for a discus punch and chokeslam for two. Nash comes in for a sideslam which gets two also. Back to Hall who hooks the abdominal stretch. Nothing but trademark stuff from the Outsiders.
Hall hooks a modified STF but pulls on the hair instead of the neck. That has to hurt. Hardy gets his mule kick (catching Hall squarely in the hand) which is enough for the tag to AJ. Things speed up again and AJ cleans house. Moonsault into the reverse DDT gets two. Styles Clash to Jarrett is avoided and Nash breaks up the springboard forearm. Fallaway slam for two as we’re just waiting on Savage to make the big miracle appearance.
Nash hits the framed elbow (complete with Karate Elvis Action!) for two. Back to Jarrett and they work over the ribs which the Outsiders started on. Naturally this leads to the Figure Four LEG Lock but AJ rolls him up for two. Hall breaks up the tag and Nash hooks a bearhug. See, THAT makes sense. AJ makes the unseen tag and it’s back to Jarrett. They slug it out and both hit cross bodies to put them down.
AJ finally makes the tag to Hardy and house is cleaned. Stroke is countered into a Twist of Stunner and AJ adds a springboard cross body to Hall. Nash takes out the referee though as the numbers are catching up with them. Hardy goes up for the Swanton but Hall hits him with the guitar. Hardy falls forward onto Jarrett for the Swanton anyway but there’s no referee. Here’s Savage with a big old bald spot as is his custom. Naturally with everyone down he wants a tag and fires off right hands. All three of the Kings get caught in sleepers for some reason. Jarrett tries a sunset flip but Savage falls on him for the pin.
Rating: C-. The match was ok but the ending was HORRIBLE (again). Savage might have been out there 90 seconds. He would be gone the next day because he proposed a one month title reign for himself and said he’d drop it back to Jarrett the next month but it was vetoed. That’s his last match, which is a sad note to go out on.
Vince is loaded into an ambulance as HHH doesn’t know what to do without him.
Video on Final Resolution. I remember this video actually.
Here’s the tape that has been talked about all night. Shane Douglash, Traci (with cookies) and Abyss (with balloons) go to see…a bunch of blurry objects. Roadie and Ron Killings are there too. They steal some catering and the only body I recognize is I think Eddie Guerrero. Seriously you can’t see ANYTHING and they don’t say any names. These could be TNA dudes for all we know. That was it? Seriously? WE SPENT TWO AND A HALF HOURS BUILDING TO THAT??? Ok to be fair this was when TNA was nothing so it’s a bigger deal I guess. Rey was there too apparently but you couldn’t see him at all.
We recap XXX vs. AMW. This was the big tag feud in TNA as they’ve fought dozens of times but there hasn’t been a distinct winner to the whole thing. They’ve had cage matches before but they were in the four sided cage. AMW hit an awesome Death Sentence from the top of the cage to win that one. Now they’re having another cage match and the losing team has to split up forever.
America’s Most Wanted vs. Triple X
This is one of the things that TNA did that was indeed different: sometimes something other than the heavyweight title feud ended the show, which is definitely a good idea here. The six man was just ok but this was a great match. This is in a cage remember. AMW brings in handcuffs. That’s a signature thing for them and they’ll come into play later so remember that.
They have to tag here but I’ll give that ten minutes tops. Daniels and Storm start us off. Is there a significance to the tape that Daniels puts on his left shoulder that I’ve never gotten? I’ve always wondered that. Off to Daniels who kicks Storm in the back to take control. It breaks down quickly and AMW double teams Daniels. Off to Harris as Daniels is already busted open.
Skipper (XXX is Daniels/Elix Skipper if you weren’t sure on that one) gets his team the advantage and gives it back over to Daniels. He’s GUSHING already. Harris takes Skipper down and it’s back to Storm. Powerslam puts Daniels down. They load up the Death Sentence on Skipper but Daniels makes the save. Skipper pulls a towel back and handcuffs Harris to the post. West: “Oh what a dirty trick!” Yes, handcuffing your mortal enemy to a cage and making him defenseless is the same sort of thing you would hear on The Brady Bunch Don. Well called.
XXX double teams Storm and Daniels taunts Harris with the key. They drive the key into the head of Storm and hit a double team powerbomb/elbow combination for two. We get some heel miscommunication and Storm spears Daniels. There’s the key and Harris in free. That’s a nice twist on the hot tag because it’s basically the same thing. Harris cleans house and Storm is back up too.
I think everyone but Harris is bleeding. Triple X gets rammed into the cage multiple times but Skipper grabs a belly to belly to Harris. A suplex/cross body combo gets two. Hart Attack gets two on Skipper. Daniels hits a quick Downward Spiral to Storm and Harris goes into the steel. Harris is busted too. Death Sentence (AMW’s finisher) gets two on Harris who kicks out.
Skipper goes to the top of the cage (I don’t think you can win by escape) to Harris POWERBOMBS HIM OFF THE CAGE for two. FOR TWO. Angel’s Wings gets two for Daniels. Daniels goes up but Harris follows him. Now it’s time for the highlight reel moment to end all highlight reel moments in TNA. Skipper is sitting on another corner than Harris and TIGHTROPE WALKS THE EDGE OF THE CAGE AND HURRICANRANAS HARRIS TO THE MAT!!! WOW!
Daniels IMMEDIATELY drops an elbow off the top of the cage BUT IT GETS TWO. Daniels goes back up as we watch replays for a four man Tower of Doom. Daniels overrotates and lands on his face. Harris powerbombed Skipper who electric chaired Storm who suplexed Daniels. Everyone is pretty much dead but Skipper and Harris counter each others’ finishers. Everyone knocks everyone else down and Harris handcuffs Daniels to the cage in a nice play off what happened to him earlier. Last Call to Skipper and AMW pins him with XXX’s PowerPlex to split up XXX.
Rating: A+. What else did you expect me to give this? This match holds up incredibly well with the few moments from the cage walk to the Tower of Doom being as breathtaking as you’ll ever see. Absolutely awesome match and if you’re a fan of bloodbath cage matches that leave your jaw hanging open, find this right now because it’s excellent.
Overall Rating: B. There’s some bad stuff on here, but considering this is their second three hour PPV ever, this was incredible. Things slowed down a bit after this when it became about DDP and Nash and Jarrett, but they would pick it right back up with Lockdown in a few months. Very good show although it’s kind of hard to find. Check out the main event for sure though.
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Impact Wrestling – December 5, 2013: See? TNA Can Be Good!
Impact Wrestling Date: December 5, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
It’s a big night tonight as we have the semi-finals of the world title tournament. The two matches scheduled are Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Roode in a tables match and Magnus vs. Kurt Angle in a last man standing match. The winners will face off in two weeks for the title in a gimmick match to be announced. At this point the question is who gets to face AJ Styles when he returns for the champion vs. champion match. Let’s get to it.
The opening video looks like a scene out of a post apocalyptic thriller with a WAY higher budget than TNA usually has. It’s another recap of the tournament.
Here’s Kurt Angle with something to say. Last week was Thanksgiving and he’s very thankful for his health, his family, and the fans’ support as he tries to get into the Hall of Fame. Winning the title is the path for him to prove himself and Austin Aries gave him the fight of his life in the last round. However, now he has to face Magnus so the Brit needs to come out here.
Angle asks Magnus what happened last week when Magnus left him alone four on one. Magnus talks about getting hurt in a match against Samoa Joe and getting into the tag match anyway. Magnus hurt his knee and that’s all there is to it. Angle says champions fight through injuries and he has a knee injury at the moment to prove it.
Kurt asks Magnus if he has the heart to be a champion. Magnus says he does along with the hunger to go through everyone he has to in order to become champion for the first time. He’ll prove that to Angle tonight. Angle says they may be friends, but he has to go through Magnus, Hardy and Roode to become champion.
This brings out Roode who says he has the killer instinct you need to be a world champion. We’ve already seen what Roode will do to Storm to become champion, so next up is Jeff Hardy. If he’ll do that to Storm, imagine what he’ll do to Hardy. Roode says Magnus will never be a world champion. Magnus goes for Roode but Angle holds him back. Hardy comes out to start the tables match right now.
TNA World Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Roode
Tables match. The fans are naturally behind Hardy who starts off with some right hands and the legdrop between the legs. Hardy sends him into the corner and dropkicks Roode in the back before bringing in a table. Bobby uses the breather to get in a shot of his own and sets up the table in the corner. A clothesline puts Hardy down but he stops a charging Roode with an elbow in the corner. The comeback is very short lived though as Hardy’s Whisper in the Wind only hits mat. They fight to the apron and Hardy kicks Roode in the face, putting both of them through the table and sending us to a beak as this is figured out.
Back with the match continuing and Roode in control, only to be caught by a quick Twist of Fate, knocking him onto the table. Jeff goes up for the Swanton but Roode rolls off the table before Jeff jumps. That’s cool with Hardy as he dives over the table and hits the Swanton anyway to keep control. Hardy loads up a superplex but gets crotched on the top rope in a counter. Roode tires to suplex him over the top and through another table at ringside, only to be kicked in the chest to put Roode through the table at 14:00.
Rating: C. This was fine. Roode is pretty solidly in the JBL role as his resume is strong enough to make a win over him mean something but he’s not likely to be the top guy ever again. Jeff is a good face to send into the title match as he’s over with the fans and still able to put on good matches.
Ethan Carter III gets his makeup applied and says he’s calling out a first ballot Hall of Famer tonight.
AJ’s agent has sent Dixie a letter saying the title will be back soon.
Ethan Carter is here to call out a legend who has been in the ring with the likes of Andre the Giant, Hulk Hogan and Bret Hart. Therefore, here’s his opponent: Earl Hebner. Hebner says he isn’t a wrestler but Carter says his aunt is Earl’s boss. There’s even going to be a special referee: Earl’s son Brian. Carter says Earl is going to lay down so his worthless son can count 1-2-3. Earl won’t do it so Ethan threatens him until he does it.
Ethan Carter III vs. Earl Hebner
Ethan takes his time and puts a finger on Earl’s chest for the pin at 48 seconds.
Carter makes Brian roll Earl out of the ring and raise Ethan’s hand.
We recap the Bad Influence vs. Park/Young feud and Bad Influence trying to convince Park that he’s Abyss.
We see Christy and Sam Shaw on their date. Christy gets up for a second and Shaw is somewhat obsessed with a knife. The waiter comes for the check and Shaw threatens to gouge his eyes out if he catches the waiter looking at Christy again. Christy comes back and they leave quickly.
Video recapping AJ going around the world to defend the title.
Dixie gets a delivery: flowers. The note says it’s from a fan so Dixie yells at the aide who delivered them.
Roode says he should be in the title match because you shouldn’t lose a wrestling match for falling through a table.
Dixie gives a speech to some of the roster. She has a new great idea: Feast or Fired. It’s TNA’s version of MITB. There are four cases: one containing a world, tag team or X-Division title shot each and the last containing a pink slip. You get a case, you win whatever is inside of it.
Here’s Bad Influence with an envelope containing some results. Before they can go into it, here’s Joseph Park to interrupt. Park gets serious and tells them they need to stop because they’ve won. Maybe Park never should have been in TNA and maybe he’s just an attorney. Kaz thinks that’s funny and says they have information. Park snatches the envelope from them and rips it up. Daniels thinks it’s funny and Kaz says all that proves is Park can rip apart an envelope.
We get a video showing Bad Influence at Park’s law offices to find them completely empty. They ask the secretary who says the offices used to belong to a doctor but he moved out months ago. Daniels shows her Park’s business card and apparently the law offices closed about 13 years ago.
Back in the arena, Daniels wants to know what Park has been doing for thirteen years. Park gets nervous and again asks them to drop this. Kaz spits at Park and calls him a liar before the beatdown commences. Eric Young makes the save and tells Bad Influence that if they keep knocking on the devil’s door, the devil is going to answer. Young makes a tag match next week but Park isn’t sure.
Sting gives another of his speeches to Magnus and says he’s looking forward to the main event tonight.
Dixie’s main assistant Spud is told the delivery man is here.
Bromans vs. James Storm/Gunner
Non-title. Zema Ion is DJ for the champions and gets in a great line with “Ladies remember these names because you’ll be screaming them later!” Storm throws Jesse around with ease to start before it’s off to Gunner for the same on Robbie. Zema keeps playing sound effects on the turntables. Gunner pounds away on Robbie in the corner but Jesse’s interference lets the champions take over. Jesse gets two off a dropkick but Gunner pretty easily tags out to Storm. The superkick lays out Jesse but Robbie spits beer at Gunner. The tattooed one goes into a rage and he knocks the referee down for the DQ at 4:50.
Rating: D+. This was about advancing the Gunner/Storm split which doesn’t quite work when they were only a team for about seven months. Storm really needs to get out of the tag division because there’s absolutely nothing left for him to do there. Gunner could get a nice rub out of this though.
Sting tries to go in to see Angle but Spud stops him. Sting makes fun of Spud’s job title and is told that Dixie wants him out. If Dixie wants him to leave, come tell him to his face. Spud goes to see the delivery man and Sting wants to know what’s going on around here.
Gail Kim and her husband say don’t send her any more challengers until you have someone good.
Chris Sabin is looking in a mirror while Velvet Sky checks her hair. It’s Sabin vs. Aries next week for the X Title. Velvet asks if she looks good and Sabin picks up the belt and says they look good.
Gail Kim vs. Laura Dennis
From what I can find, Dennis is an indy wrestler named Cherry Bomb who has worked in Shimmer, CZW and ROH. Gail runs her over to start and sends Laura into the corner for a running cross body. Kim talks a lot of trash but gets slapped in the face. Some clotheslines put Kim down and a running forearm gets two but Gail gets some feet up in the corner. Eat Defeat gets the pin at 3:02.
Rating: D. We need to get to Tapa crushing Kim already so we can stop caring about either of them at all. These one off girls aren’t helping the division’s major problem at all but it’s better than seeing the same matches over and over again. This was just a squash though which doesn’t do anything for anyone.
Post match Gail hits another Eat Defeat but before Tapa can beat up Dennis again, ODB comes out for the save. Tapa is knocked to the floor and ODB slaps her chest.
TNA World Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Kurt Angle vs. Magnus
Last man standing. Angle takes him into the corner to start but Magnus counters into an armbreaker followed by a headlock. Back up and Magnus pounds away to drive Angle into the corner, only to have a double clothesline put both guys down. They slug it out some more and we take a break.
Back with…..Dixie receiving the package she’s been waiting for all night. We go back to the arena to see Angle taken down by something we don’t see for a five count. Angle comes back with five Rolling Germans but Magnus gets up at five. Kurt spears Magnus to the floor but both guys are up by 8. Magnus tries to get back in but has to elbow out of the German suplex off the apron.
The elbow drop off the apron has Kurt in trouble but he gets up at nine. Back in and Angle hits a quick snap suplex but misses the moonsault. Magnus picks him up and hits a modified Rock Bottom (arm around the ribs instead of the chest) and the top rope elbow gets nine. Angle accidentally takes out the referee before hitting the Angle Slam. Cue Roode with a clothesline to the back of Kurt’s head and an Attitude Adjustment. Magnus gets back up but Angle can’t make the ten count at 15:23.
Rating: C+. Not great here but it could have been much worse. Angle is great in the role of guy you can throw out there for a good match and to put someone over at any time. It wasn’t a great match but it advances Roode vs. Angle which needs to end after the next match. Good match here but not great.
Hardy saves Angle and wishes Magnus luck with a handshake.
Dixie opens the box and finds a toy belt.
We get a video from AJ, saying Dixie needs to come to Georgia if she wants the belt back.
Overall Rating: B-. This was one of TNA’s better shows in a long time. The matches were good, but more importantly than that the stories felt like they were important and got the time that they needed to develop. Nothing came off as stupid or like a waste of time and those are things that have been plaguing TNA for months now.
Results
Jeff Hardy b. Bobby Roode – Hardy kicked Roode through a table.
Ethan Carter III b. Earl Hebner – Hebner laid down for Carter
Bromans b. Gunner/James Storm via DQ when Gunner shoved the referee
Gail Kim b. Laura Dennis – Eat Defeat
Magnus b. Kurt Angle – Angle couldn’t answer the ten count
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No Way Out 2008: Reach For The Brass Ring Jeff
No Way Out 2008
Date: February 17, 2008
Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 13,306
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman
We’ve FINALLY moved past the brand exclusive shows and into the Elimination Chamber years. There are two of them tonight so I’m rather interested in this show. I figured since I hadn’t watched a No Way Out in a month before I put up the 07 show that I might as well just finish the series so it isn’t Mania time before it goes up. Anyway, both of the matches tonight are for the title shots rather than the belts, as Cena is cashing in his Rumble win TONIGHT to get a shot at Orton. Odd but ok. Other than that there’s Edge vs. Rey for the Smackdown Title and that’s about it. Just 6 matches on the card this year. Let’s get to it.
Oh and also, the whole adding in the Chamber popped the buyrate from about 218,000 up to 329,000. In short, IT WORKED.
The opening video talks about how the Road to Wrestlemania has led us here. The theme song is Fake It by Seether which is an awesome song so I like the transitional stuff for once.
ECW Title: CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero
Chavo had taken the title from Punk and this is his rematch. We get a quick recap which involved something about a fiesta which I never thought was that great. We hear some of Tazz during this video which we weren’t supposed to hear. We also recap the Gulf of Mexico match which wasn’t much either. Crowd is entirely behind Punk.
Chavo sends him to the floor early and tries to get a countout early. In a cool spot with Punk on his stomach Chavo hits a front flip onto his back for two. Off to a body scissors as Punk is in trouble. Punk comes back and gets a powerslam for two. GTS is countered into a rana and a tornado DDT gets two.
Punk does Eddie’s dance to tick off the crowd a bit. He goes nearly full heel as he hits Three Amigos. Knee and bulldog get two as Chavo gets his foot on the rope. Punk keeps going off on Chavo, beating on him on the floor which gets two as we’re back in the ring now. Punk kicks him in the head and goes to the corner for a top rope rana but is shoved off and the Frog Splash keeps the title on Chavo. Kind of an abrupt ending.
Rating: C+. This was more or less a TV main event but not bad. Chavo getting a clean pin after needing Edge to get the title in the first place is a good thing for him. The ECW Title would start going to monsters soon as Kane would win it at Mania in 8 seconds. Anyway, this wasn’t bad but it was short and too abrupt for my tastes.
We recap Smackdown where Rey messed up Edge’s proposal to Vickie. This was the start of Vickie in a wheelchair. Mike Adamle talks to Rey who says he’s not sorry but it was an accident. Rey has a torn bicep apparently but he’s going to wrestle anyway. Floyd Mayweather pops up and is friends with Rey apparently.
Jericho is getting ready for his Chamber match later.
LOWER THE CHAMBER!
We get a quick highlight reel of Chamber matches over the years.
Great Khali vs. Undertaker vs. MVP vs. Finlay vs. Batista vs. Big Daddy V
Winner gets the Smackdown World Title match at Mania. MVP is US Champion here. In case you’re not familiar with the rules, you start with two in the ring and four in small pods. Every four minutes another person is released. You can be eliminated by pinfall or submission but it has to be in the ring. Last man standing wins. Matt Striker is Big Daddy V’s manager which I had forgotten about.
Finlay’s music is so bad here it’s not even funny. It does not fit at all, but at least he doesn’t have Horny with him here. Apparently it’s Horny vs. Vince tomorrow night. That led to JBL destroying Horny and setting up a surprisingly good hardcore match with Finlay vs. JBL at Mania. We start with Batista vs. Undertaker. I think that’s sufficient enough don’t you?
Taker slams the door shut and it’s on. We have the camera shot of the ring kind of blocked by the cage but it’s nothing you can really ignore. They slug it out early on with Batista surprisingly winning. There’s a camera in the ring which helps a lot but they don’t use it that often. We head out to the cage floor and Batista is in trouble. And never mind as he gets a boot in to send Taker back into the ring.
They slow it down a bit as we’re waiting on the next guy to come in with less than a minute to go. Batista takes over and gets booed LOUDLY. Ok it’s been four minutes and no one has come in yet. Is it five perhaps? More like four and a half apparently as both guys are down. Big Daddy V is in third to loud booing. V destroys both guys for awhile just because he can.
He doesn’t do much aside from choking and chopping. And now we get really stupid as Taker is knocked through the door and hits the floor. Nice job guys. Taker might have tweaked his knee as he fell. V splashes his as he comes back in just to be a jerk. Running splash crushes Batista too. Batista finally wakes up and gets a VERY good spinebuster to V considering the enormous gravitational pull of V’s fat. Taker gets a DDT on the steel and apparently you can get a pin out there as Batista gets rid of V.
Khali is in fourth just after V goes out and the beating continues. I think the fans are chanting USA but it’s not that clear. Taker hammers on Khali but can’t get the chokeslam. Punjabi Plunge gets two so instead of going after the weak Taker, Khali goes after the rested Batista like a stupid man. Vice Grip to Batista has him in trouble. And never mind as he breaks out and hits a spear to put Khali down.
Taker knocks Singh off the cage with a kick and then gets Hell’s Gate to eliminate Khali but he won’t let go. Back to Taker vs. Batista as we just kill time (which has been over five minutes since the next guy came in but whatever) until Finlay comes in. He comes in but Taker kicks him in the face to put him right down. Cole calls the STEEL chain concrete-like as Finlay gets the Celtic Cross for two.
Batista gets a slingshot to send Finlay into the cage. After a brief skirmish between the only two guys with a chance to win this, Finlay takes Deadman to the outside and wortks him over a bit. Finlay manages to send Taker through the BULLETPROOF, yes BULLETPROOF I SAY, glass. We finally get to MVP’s countdown with them not even trying to hide the lack of caring about the clock anymore.
Taker stands in front of MVP’s pod to wait on him and hammers away on him in the pod. Everyone is in now. MVP gets a Drive By to Batista and one to Taker as well, getting two on the taller one. MVP finds a chain from somewhere to choke away on Finlay for a bit. Taker is busted after a shot with the chain. He gets up and stares down MVP. The no selling of punches begins.
MVP tries to hide on the top of a pod but here comes the dude that sleeps with McCool. He grabs MVP by the throat and throws him over his head (called a reverse chokeslam which works as well as anything else) so Finlay can get the pin. Taker misses a top rope elbow to Finlay and all three guys are down. And here’s Horny from under the cage to send in the Irish club that I can’t spell to Finlay.
A shot to the head with it gets two on Batista so Undertaker chokeslams Finlay onto the cage which gets us down to one on one. Batista is busted open too. They do a long slow start and then slug it out. Crowd says yay for Taker so you can tell he’s far more popular. Batista Bomb hits rather soon for two, making the fourth finisher that Taker has kicked out of (Bomb, Plunge, Drive By, Celtic Cross).
Then we get proof that Batista is a very stupid man as he goes for multiple punches on the middle rope. As has happened to EVERYONE THAT HAS DONE THAT TO UNDERTAKER IN THE LAST SEVEN YEARS, the Last Ride hits for a long two. Dude your mentor was HHH. Did you never watch their Wrestlemania match? Taker mounts him and throws bombs. Batista sends him out to the cage but he sets like a powerslam and tries to ram Taker’s head in again. Taker shoves off the cage, drops to his feet from Animal’s shoulders and hooks the Tombstone in the ring to set up Taker vs. Edge at Mania. Sweet, sweet ending.
Rating: C+. The big problem here should be really obvious: there was ZERO chance anyone named Batista or Undertaker wasn’t winning here and everyone knew it. They started the match, the dominated it, and they ended it. That’s fine as they had mad chemistry together and the stuff they did was good, but did we need four extra guys in there and 30 minutes to get us here? It’s ok but it’s one of the weaker Chamber matches for sure.
The Edgeheads (Hawkins and Ryder) tell Edge that Taker is 15-0 at Mania which Edge more or less shakes off. Edge tries to set up a plan for later but Teddy comes in. He bands Hawkins and Ryder from ringside just because he can.
Mania ad with a bad Baywatch parody.
We get a clip of Maria and Ashley at the Playboy mansion as Maria was the Playboy chick this year, which was awesome stuff.
Ric Flair vs. Mr. Kennedy
Career threatening match here as if Flair loses he has to retire. Who why is Jeff Hardy suddenly underwater? Oh that’s just the logo for the show. Creepy much? Flair’s knee is taped and Kennedy struts to start. Apparently Kennedy is the future of the WWE and a win over Flair will define his career. Why would that be the case? If he can’t beat a guy that was over the hill five years ago and 20 years past his prime, what kind of future does he have anyway?
Kennedy works on the knee with a half crab like a smart man. Flair shouts an expletive which is of course censored. Figure Four on the post gets a Bret Hart reference. BIG slap to Flair, who has had no offense at all so far that I can remember. Regular Figure Four goes on from Kennedy but he’s no Jay Lethal so it doesn’t work.
Kennedy can’t manage to break a 60 year old’s legs and the fight is on again. The fireman’s carry rolling slam gets two. JR asks why Kennedy doesn’t get himself disqualified. Maybe because it would mean Flair is still active and it would gain him nothing? Flair hits a chop block and goes after the knee.
Kennedy counters into the anal displaying rollup for two with the ropes but gets caught cheating so it only gets two. Figure Four is countered again into a small package for two. There’s the Figure Four for real and of course a 60 year old man gets in two shots to the knee and a basic hold is enough to beat one of the young hot shots on the roster. Makes perfect sense no?
Rating: D+. This wasn’t very good. It was the epitome of a Raw match and not a very good one at all. Flair hit all of three moves and managed to win clean. I get that he can’t lose, but it looks stupid to see him go over these young guys clean every time. How does that help anyone at all, especially when Flair is leaving in a few weeks? I don’t get it but whatever.
Vince says to Finlay that he’s going to hurt Horny tomorrow.
JBL is worried about the Chamber.
We recap Edge vs. Rey and of course, it’s PERSONAL. We see part of the first match they had at the Rumble where Vickie got out of her wheelchair and took a 619. That set up the apology thing which set up the engagement thing. And of course we get back to the Guerrero name and all that jazz.
Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Rey Mysterio
Winner gets Undertaker at Mania. And remember Rey has a really bad and legit arm injury. Floyd Mayweather is in the front row. Edge’s theme song is still awesome. Rey keeps dodging to start but hurts his arm on a rana. Rey hits the floor and Edge gets a baseball slide to send Rey’s arm into the floor and then into the steps.
Rey is caught in the Tree of Woe but Edge misses a baseball slide to send Edge’s balls into the post. Sorry Vickie. Moonsault press gets two as Rey can’t hook a leg. Rey gets a 619 out of almost nowhere but Edge beats him to his feet due to the arm. He tries for a springboard something, but Edge spears him out of the air to pin him clean. This didn’t even run six minutes so you can tell Rey was hurt badly.
Rating: C. Yes this was a pretty bad match, but major points to Rey for gutting it out and doing what he could. He was barely able to do anything out there but he tried which is all you can ask for at the end of the day. The arm was the focal point of the match so that makes sense. They’ve had better matches before when both were healthy so it’s almost impossible to blame this on anything but the arm. Bad match, but not their fault at all.
Here’s Big Show for absolutely no apparent reason. He’s a face at this point, but that would get thrown out the window for the next few weeks. Apparently this is a return of some sort. Oh wow this is his return from his hiatus after December to Dismember. He’s lost 108 pounds which is rather impressive and actually looks legit.
And never mind the face part as he hits the floor and grabs Rey by the throat and smacks him in the arm, saying does your arm hurt. He gets in Mayweather’s face a bit but drags Rey back into the ring. Floyd’s team tries to keep him back but since WWE security is TERRIBLE, Mayweather gets in. There’s no commentary here. Show shoves him and gets down on his knees. Mayweather goes right at him and lands three or four bombs, apparently legitimately breaking Show’s nose. Floyd runs and we have our Mania match.
Mania is 42 days away.
Jeff Hardy is getting ready. Check for any flat surface with powder on it.
Adamle is with some fans and can’t remember the company he’s in. We recap Cena vs. Orton which started with Orton hurting Cena (it was actually Kennedy I think but Orton was #1 contender so that sounded better). This set up the EPIC return at the Rumble which no one, I mean NO ONE, saw coming. Cena won, but is cashing in tonight.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton
Orton isn’t quite hearing voices yet which is good for me as I like his old music better. There’s the bell and they’re going for the big epic feeling here, which is getting pretty close actually. Cena gets a small package for two almost immediately. Orton gets in a shot to the ribs and the beating is on. Cena’s bulldog out of nowhere gets two.
Orton comes back as neither guy has had anything as far as an extended advantage in the first three minutes or so. Cena keeps going for quick wins with rollups and covers off weaker moves while Orton is trying to slow it down and take away Cena’s momentum. The crowd is split here for the most part. He counters the elevated DDT and gets the top rope Fameasser from the top for a close two.
FU is countered and Orton goes after the knee/ankle. Since that makes no sense he stomps away on the bad shoulder/pectoral area that Cena had hurt and caused him to be put out for awhile. Makes sense. Orton can’t get a knee drop on the pec and we hit the chinlock as is Orton’s custom. Cena gets the Protoplex out of nowhere and with a point to the Mania sign, Orton can’t see him. I have no idea what the connection is but Cena is rocking the serious stare here so don’t question it.
FU can’t hit again though and Orton hits the floor. At 9 and a half they both fly into the ring to prevent the double countout. Back in and Orton catches Cena in the backbreaker, although Orton may have tweaked his knee. Crowd is all over Cena here. A middle rope suplex is shoved off but Cena misses another Fameasser. Orton starts that slithering stuff he tends to do but the RKO is countered and Cena gets the STFU!
Orton gets a rope and heads to the floor, holding his knee. He DEMANDS that the referee count him out but was playing possum. RKO hits on the floor and Cena is legally dead. Somehow he manages to get back in without the help of a yellow sun as Orton is shocked. And there’s a slap to the referee for the DQ to prevent Cena from winning the title which isn’t as bad of an ending as it seems, because now Cena has used his title shot. He lands an FU and the STFU post match but it doesn’t mean much.
Rating: B-. I liked this pretty well although it’s no classic or anything. I like the ending as it fits something that a heel would do to keep the title. Cena is out of a chance at Mania but of course he would fight Orton there anyway, although with HHH thrown in for fun. The fans doing the GOODBYE song is funny stuff as he was absolutely loathed in this match. Decent match and one of the better ones they’ve had actually.
Orton lays in the ring as the fans chant THANK YOU RANDY. This is funny stuff.
HHH is sitting in the back and Shawn comes up. HBK says this isn’t the appropriate time to shill merchandise or crack jokes and apologizes for what he might have to do out there. They say they’ll go through each other if they have to and that seems to be mutually ok.
The Chamber is lowered again and we get the winner of the mobile poll. Hardy, HHH and Shawn have the vast majority of the votes. The other three combine for 10%.
HHH vs. Umaga vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
This should be a bit better don’t you think? The entrances take the better part of forever, especially HHH’s as he comes out first. Umaga is second and is pure filler in this match. I think he had Batista at Mania in a horrible match. Jeff gets a HUGE pop but it would be 9 months before he was in the world title scene again. He’s IC Champion here and would be suspended for a few months soon after this for Wellness.
It’ll be Jericho and Shawn starting us off. They would have their huge feud in about two months. Jericho is still a face here and it’s odd to see him in long tights with short hair. At least Shawn isn’t in the brown tights. Nice to hear Shawn come out to his own music rather than the DX song.
We get a rather technical start as this is far more or a wrestling match than a brawl so far which is a nice thing to see for once. They start slugging it out and Shawn nips up. The top rope elbow hits knees though and the best part about it: the elbow clearly would have hit had the knees not been there. Shawn tries to do the same thing to the Lionsault but Jericho grabs the Walls instead.
He can’t hook the hold though but Shawn can’t hook a Sharpshooter either. Both go for either cross bodies or a shoulder block as the time comes down. It’s Umaga and the beatdown is on. Both pretty boys are in trouble quickly as he takes both down with a clothesline. Shawn and Jericho team up to fight the monster off but he’s like screw it and hits a Samoan Drop on both guys at the same time (think Cena to Edge and Show at Mania).
Umaga kicks Shawn to the outside of the ring and hammers on Jericho for awhile. He goes up for a middle rope splash but can’t crush Jericho and here comes the Texas. In a cool spot Jericho gets the Walls and Shawn hooks the Crossface as JBL comes in at 4. He of course breaks up the Walls and hammers Jericho for awhile which isn’t incredibly smart. Shawn is busted open as JBL pounds down Jericho.
Umaga and Shawn fight in the ring until Shawn is thrown out to the steel again. After maybe two minutes HHH comes in to a somewhat mixed reaction that becomes cheering partway through. He hammers on Umaga, sending his head into Bradshaw’s. Umaga’s head is rammed into one of the metal beams on a pod. HHH goes after Jericho but takes the Clothesline From JBL, again for no apparent reason. For his troubles JBL takes a Codebreaker and is out first.
Before he leaves though JBL grabs a chair and drills everyone with some HARD shots to the head. Here comes Jeff, just in time. Umaga is the only one up as the crack head comes in. Slingshot dropkick to Shawn as Jeff cleans house. DX comes after him but he hits a Whisper in the Wind. Pay no attention to HHH falling backwards before it hits too. Now the Samoan comes back and destroys various people.
Umaga gets a running hip smash to Jericho’s head through the BULLETPROOF glass, which should kill him but since it’s WWE he’s up enough to get a Codebreaker just after Chin Music. A Pedigree is added and after a Swanton is the fourth finisher off a pod, Umaga is FINALLY gone. Shawn hits Jericho with Chin Music and Jeff steals a pin. Pedigree and Twist of Fate take care of Shawn. Those three eliminations happened in less than 45 seconds.
We’re down to HHH vs. Hardy now for the Mania spot. Jeff gets a DDT on the steel but can’t get a cover as his back is hurt from the landing. Jeff goes the heck off on HHH who can barely stand. Jeff counters a Pedigree with a backdrop but can’t get the Swanton. Pedigree hits but gets two as the pop blows the roof off for a few seconds. Twist of Fate on the chair is reversed and a Pedigree onto it ends this, sending HHH to Mania.
Rating: B+. Much better match here with this being a war throughout, especially with four guys combining to take out Umaga. Granted when he or JBL is the worst guy in there rather than Khali or Big Daddy V things can go a bit better. It was also far more violent and while it was pretty clear HHH or Hardy would win, there was a chance Shawn or Jericho could pull it off. That and shaving off five minutes helped too.
Overall Rating: B-. Not a great show but much like TLC was last week, they didn’t try to have a great show but rather a flashy one which worked just as well. It went by far faster than the previous year’s and was definitely an upgrade. They would have another the next year with the titles on the line and it wouldn’t be as good. Anyway this wasn’t bad but it would have been better with one less Chamber match and another match added on instead. Still decent though.
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On This Day: December 1, 2011 – Impact Wrestling 2011: Come Home Bobby Roode
Impact Wrestling
Date: December 1, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
We’ve got two more shows before Final Resolution and the card is starting to come together. It feels like a filler PPV until we get to something a lot bigger. The interesting thing will be if Storm is allowed to wrestle again as he’s really getting hurt by being injured as the mini-feud with Roode he had made him the real star out of the whole thing. But it’s a concussion so it’s hard to say when he’ll be better. Let’s get to it.
We open with a video of Roode’s family talking about how he’s pretty much abandoned them and it’s all about him anymore. Cool idea given how he was pushed as this family man when he was going for the title.
Sting opens the show and says everyone is trying to run this place. Right now, he’s going to deal with Bobby Roode, so get on out here. Roode says let’s get this over with. Sting talks about how Roode has done all this stuff and jumped Styles and Hardy to end the show. Roode calls it great TV and says Sting is welcome for what he’s done recently. Sting says he runs the place and it’s run his way. For every bad thing Roode does, there’s a consequence, which starts right now.
Cue AJ and Roode says Sting is fighting AJ’s battles now. Sting also brings out Hardy who asks why Roode doesn’t respect Sting’s authority. Sting says screw you Bobby and makes it a three way match for the main event tonight.
The Knockouts are in robes while Karen yells. She gets in Velvet’s face and yells about disrespect and all that jazz. Tonight they’re going to wash six cars and then the rest of them. Oh and they’ll be in swimsuits. Madison gladly disrobes and looks pretty good underneath it.
Jeff Hardy says he and AJ are about to go talk strategy. Jarrett comes up and takes his jacket off. He wants to know why Hardy thinks he belongs here. Hardy says this is his last shot. Jarrett throws his jacket in Hardy’s face and beats him down. Here’s your backstage brawl of the week.
Bischoff meets with Ray in the back because they don’t have an office anymore. Eric wants Ray to wait before killing his kid. Yeah brilliant there dude. Instead, let’s get rid of Abyss. Ray put him through a table and it did nothing so Eric suggests talking to him. Ray thinks he’s nuts (both Eric and Abyss) so he’ll get Scott Steiner to help talk. Oh geez.
The Knockouts are in bikinis and washing cars and Tara is forced to disrobe. ODB gets a street fight with Mickie James for some reason. If she hurts Mickie she’s the new #1 contender.
Mexican America vs. Ink Inc vs. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero
Winners are #1 contenders. D-Von and Pope clear the ring until we get down to Pope vs. Anarquia with the street preacher taking over. The Mexicans finally take over until it’s a hot tag to D-Von. There’s nothing interesting going on here. I still want to know why they think pushing D-Von is a good thing. Neal tags himself in, spears Hernandez but walks into a spinebuster from D-Von for the pin at 5:06.
Rating: D+. Whatever man. The tag division is such a joke anymore without any solid teams in there. It’s like the tag champions and the #1 contenders are just slapped together with no real rhyme or reason. This isn’t going to be much of a match and does anyone buy that these guys are going to get the titles?
Here’s Austin Aries to talk a bit. He says he has a problem as the greatest man that ever lived. His plan was to revitalize the division and bring in some greatness, but his greatness is so far ahead of everyone else. It’s time to call this the A Double division. No one can hold a candle to him so….oh dang it here’s Kid Kash.
He talks about Turning Point and how Aries screwed him over after Kash took out Sorensen for him. It’s an old vs. new argument and Aries says he’s champion. Kash says he held it before. Aries says shake my hand and you have a shot. They shake hands and punch each other at the same time. I think that’s supposed to be a face turn for Kash.
Gunner goes to find Garrett Bischoff at a gym.
AJ says he’ll win tonight.
Gunner tries to find Garrett Bischoff but finds someone else who he beats up. No one else seems to care. He keeps looking and annoys someone else. Gunner beats up two more people and then the original guy comes back. There’s a clothesline for him and then he chokes the guy down. He hurts a guy’s arm and tried to be menacing, saying he’s coming for Garrett.
Sting yells at Jarrett, telling him to stay out of the main event tonight. Jarrett says Sting has no room to talk because he was in the match with Hardy at Victory Road. Sting says there will be consequences if Jarrett interferes. Jarrett says he might be willing to pay that consequence.
More parenting stuff from Roode’s “wife”.
The Knockouts are still washing cars. Taz’s car is in line for later and a bus or something like that comes up.
Steiner is lifting weights when Ray comes up to talk about Abyss. CAN WE HAVE A WRESTLING MATCH ALREADY??? Steiner suggests offering a freak to Abyss to get him to join their team again.
Mickie James vs. ODB
Street fight. It’s a brawl on the ramp to start and they roll towards the ring. Street fights mean falls count anywhere here I guess. Mickie’s rana is countered into a powerbomb. They go into the crowd and Mickie fights back in front of a handicap ramp. ODB hits her with a lot of metal stuff and Mickie looks a bit dead. We do the odd hardcore match thing where people insist on walking around.
She walks around even more until Mickie gets in a chop. Gee, I wonder if the minute long walk had anything to do with her getting a second wind. Back to the ring and Mickie starts her comeback. ODB breaks up the jumping DDT and gets a chair. Like any idiot, she holds it in front of her face to allow Mickie to kick the chair into her face for the pin at 7:00.
Rating: D+. Well that was pretty dull. I have no idea why they went walking around like that but I never get that in any wrestling match with hardcore rules. ODB continues to look like an idiot and the girls are still better than the Divas, but they’re still nothing to blow my skirt up. The weak show continues.
Storm (at home) says he’s still out with a concussion. Angle interrupts and asks Storm how it felt to have his head bashed in and how his daughter reacted to it. Angle blames Storm for losing the title so Angle says be here next week to confirm a match at Final Resolution. Storm says it’ll be a beating, not a match.
Some chicks are in the back and looking for Abyss.
We see the long version of Roode’s family complaining. Roode says he got them a bunch of stuff with the money so if he’s a user, so are they.
TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Robbie E
Why do I have a feeling the obvious ending isn’t the one that is going to happen? RVD dominates to start and sends Robbie to the floor quickly. Big Rob gets in a shot to take over and Robbie pounds away a bit. Back to the floor and here’s Eric Young in underwear with a fire extinguisher. RVD gets a kick to the face and hits the Five Star but Eric has the referee. Daniels runs in and hits Angel’s Wings on RVD so Robbie can get the pin at 4:02.
Rating: Rob. What else do you want me to call it? This was about as predictable as you could want it to be, which isn’t saying much. The match wasn’t the point here obviously and the idea was to have Daniels run in and Young to be all wacky because that’s all he knows how to do.
Steiner’s girls are all messed up after meeting Abyss.
The Knockouts get in a fight with the water and soap. Karen comes in with garden hoses and sprays them all down.
Robert Roode vs. AJ Styles vs. Jeff Hardy
This has over twenty minutes to go so maybe it’ll be good. This is non-title of course. Roode immediately hits the floor and we get our first contact about a minute in with both guys beating on Roode. He gets ping-ponged between the two of them and then clotheslined to the floor. Time for the face showdown….or not. Instead they get in a mini argument over who gets to dive to the floor. Hardy hits a baseball slide as we take a break.
Back with Roode hitting a belly to back suplex for one as Hardy makes the save. AJ gets his eyes raked and accidentally hits Hardy, giving us the showdown we’ve been waiting for. AJ hits his drop down into a dropkick sequence but Hardy takes over and gets two of his own. Roode comes back in and beats both guys down before focusing on Hardy. Spinebuster gets two.
AJ pops back up with the springboard forearm and backflip into the reverse DDT on Roode. Roode takes over again and hits a fisherman’s suplex on AJ which Hardy breaks up. Twist of Fate to Roode and he loads up the Swanton, but here’s Jarrett to crotch him. Roode covers Hardy for the easy pin at 14:30.
Rating: C. Pretty ok match here but at the end of the day, so what? This is more about pushing Jeff vs. Jeff again and that’s not exactly something interesting. Not a bad match at all but I’ve never been a fan of three ways, which isn’t helping things here. At least it sets up a match at Final Resolution, which we’ll get to now.
Sting comes out and makes Jeff vs. Jeff in a cage at the PPV. If Jarrett escapes first, Hardy is gone. If Hardy escapes first, he gets the title shot at Genesis. Karen comes out to yell so she’ll be handcuffed to Sting during the match.
Overall Rating: D+. The biggest problem with this show is that the pacing problems were back. There were five minutes of wrestling in the first hour and for what? So we could have segments about Gunner, Garrett Bischoff, and the Knockouts in swimsuits? That’s what we’re focusing on now? This was a backstage heavy show and that’s really not all that interesting. Also, you don’t need to have Roode’s family pop in all through the show if you’re going to show a full version of it later on. Not a bad show, but pretty boring overall.
Results
D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero b. Mexican America and Ink Inc – Spinebuster to Neal
Mickie James b. ODB – Spinning kick to the face
Robbie E b. Rob Van Dam – Pin after Angel’s Wings
Bobby Roode b. AJ Styles and Jeff Hardy – Pinned Hardy after Jeff Jarrett interfered
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