Monday Night Raw
Date: July 1, 2002
Location: Verizon Wireless Arena, Manchester, New Hampshire
Commentators; Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Back to something other than TNA for a nice change of pace. This is a request and it’s probably due to just the main event. This is the show where somehow midcarder Jeff Hardy is getting a world title shot in a ladder match against the Undertaker. Other than that, this is a very generic looking card. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week where Vince talked about Ruthless Aggression. Vince wanted to know who had it, and that man would be the new King of the Ring: Brock Lesnar. Van Dam, the guy that Brock beat in the finals, disrupted the coronation and beat Lesnar up. Kind of. They had a rematch later that night for the IC Title which RVD had won with the Five Star but Heyman caused a DQ. Brock powerbombed him through a table to end the show.

I forgot how much I liked Across The Nation as a theme song.

Here are Heyman and Lesnar to open the show. Paul says this will be the summer of Lesnar, not the summer of RVD. Heyman talks about how Lesnar has intelligence and is inspired by Kurt Angle. Angle issued a challenge to any rookie to debut against Angle (some guy named Cena debuted). Heyman says Brock is issuing a challenge to anyone.

Brock Lesnar vs. Ric Flair

Not bad for an opener. They do also cover themselves here by saying that this open contract was issued at 1pm this afternoon so it’s not completely illogical to have Flair ready to go. Flair yells at I think Heyman about interfering in a match that cost Flair control of Raw. Lesnar says Flair is in the wrong place with the wrong guy in the wrong year. Flair gets run over to start but manages a chop to slow him down.

More chops and Flair tries to get Brock to chase him. Knee drop gets two for Ric but he gets launched over the referee with ease. Brock takes over and there’s the Flair Flop in the corner. Lesnar works on the back and they go to the floor for a little bit. He goes shoulder first into the post back in the ring and Flair has an opening. Flair chops away but runs into a bearhug. A pretty weak spinebuster (no snap or pop at all. Maybe some crackle though) takes Flair down but he hits a low blow. Figure Four goes on but here’s Heyman for the distraction. Flair goes for him and walks into an F5 for the pin.

Rating: D. Apparently the bad booking of monsters isn’t a new thing. Lesnar is supposed to be an animal, yet it took Heyman to save him from Ric Flair? Yes, Flair is a veteran but that doesn’t mean Lesnar shouldn’t kill him. Would you see a 53 year old boxer destroying a 25 year old phenom? I didn’t think so. Not a fan of this at all. The veteran will possibly have better technique and be more polished, but at the end of the day he isn’t going to be able to take a right cross to the chin.

Coach hits on Jackie Gayda in a creepy way, talking about the Divas Undressed competition. Jackie gets annoyed with him, blaming her last tag team loss on Molly. Molly comes up and says Jackie should follow a role model. They brawl into the arena and Molly tries to kill her with a pipe. Time for a match no one is interested in!

Molly Holly vs. Jackie Gayda

Molly hits a missile dropkick and beats Jackie into the ground. I don’t think this is an actual match. There was no bell or referee or pin. Trish comes out to save Jackie and takes Molly’s pants off. I clearly get the point in this. Don’t you?

Christopher Nowitski has challenged Bradshaw to a match that isn’t for JBL’s Hardcore Title.

Christopher Nowitski vs. Bradshaw

King has Chris’ Harvard ring. JBL kicks his head off to start and it’s a beating. Jibbles goes for weapons but it’s not hardcore. In the confusion, Chris hits Bradshaw with a cowbell and pins him. This didn’t even last a minute.

Regal is watching on a monitor in what is apparently Heyman and Lesnar’s dressing room. RVD arrives limping and wants to know where Brock and Paul are. Regal says be on time next time and they’ll have a match later apparently.

Jeff is in the back and is offended to hear he’s the underdog tonight. He has to climb a ladder and he runs around in the back climbing various things. We really should have seen the signs back then.

Booker and Goldust are in the back and Goldust is dressed as Darth Vader for no apparent reason. Booker doesn’t like Star Wars but apparently he likes handling a Lightsaber. “Obi-Book-Kenobi.” WHAT AM I WATCHING???

Vince gives the fairly newly back Eddie a pep talk before he teams up with Benoit later. Vince asks what the translation is for Ruthless Aggression in Spanish. “Eddie Guerrero holmes!” Benoit is in his first match back in like a year after his neck injury.

Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal

Van Dam is IC Champion and Regal is European Champion but this is non-title. Regal takes him to the match very quickly and counters the stepover kick. Out to the floor after a suplex and a Knee Trembler gets two back in the ring. Regal keeps it on the mat and hooks a crossface minus the arm trap. Rob manages to grab a monkey flip and hammers away in various corners. Spinning cross body gets two as does Rolling Thunder. Butterfly suplex is countered and the Five Star ends this.

Rating: C-. Eh not bad and definitely the best of the night. They were starting to push Van Dam at this point and he got some world title shots later in the year, but then the company decided to go with Shawn as champion and then HHH forever instead of Van Dam. RVD got the title in like 4 years, but then proved that he couldn’t handle it so that’s all well and good.

Van Dam calls out Lesnar but gets Heyman instead. Heyman says we’ll do it at Vengeance. Ok then.

Bubba Ray Dudley/Spike Dudley vs. Eddie Guerrero/Chris Benoit

This was set up last year with Benoit returning and putting a wicked Crossface on Bubba. Eddie vs. Spike gets us going and Eddie controls as he should. Bubba comes in and hammers on Guerrero, only to walk into a dropkick. Eddie does a fairly unnecessary roll but it brings in Benoit. Benoit goes all psycho with the chops in the corner and Bubba is in trouble.

Bubba hits a sidewalk slam for two but the Canadian hits a German on the American to take over again. I love watching people throw German suplexes. Bubba gets a neckbreaker and it’s off to Spike. Spike grabs a rolling cradle for two. He tries another but Benoit grabs a Crossface to draw in Bubba. The heels make an illegal switch and Eddie pounds on Spike for a bit. Spike goes into the post but there’s heel miscommunication and the Dudley Dog.

Both guys are down and there’s the hot tag to Bubba. They were pushing him as kind of an upper midcard guy around this time, possibly as a world title challenger when HHH got the Raw title. Believe that playa. Sorry I had to do it. What’s Up to Eddie and Bubba orders a table. There’s one set up on the floor but Benoit pops Spike. Eddie hits a nice springboard rana to take Bubba out but the Frog Splash misses. Bubba Bomb ends Eddie.

Rating: C+. Not exactly the ending I was expecting but it was a good tag match which is what this show needed. The Dudleys were still an odd pairing as while Spike is indeed a Dudley, he’s not the Dudley that you think of as part of the Dudley Boys. Also, kind of an odd return for Benoit wouldn’t you think?

Spike goes through the table and Benoit hooks a Crossface on Bubba for a good while.

Rey Mysterio is coming. The music almost sounds like it’s from Halloween.

DarthDust comes up to Big Show and it’s just weird. Goldust says he’s Show’s father and breaks a plastic sword over his head. Goldie goes to leave but walks into Nash who kills him. It was NWO time if I didn’t mention this.

Video on Hardy’s history in ladder matches.

Taker says he’s going after Angle and then Rock. He’s not worried about Hardy at all.

Show finds X-Pac unconscious in the back. Make your own jokes.

Booker T vs. Big Show

This was supposed to be a tag match but take what you can get. Booker had been kicked out of the NWO and was on a revenge tour…kind of. The NWO would be gone in two weeks anyway so it doesn’t really matter. The mashup of Show’s music with the NWO theme doesn’t work at all. Show and his one piece women’s swimsuit of doom takes over quickly on Booker with the size and power game.

There’s a suplex for two. This was a period for Big Show where he was getting way too big and way too slow and it hurt his game really badly. Bearhug now and Booker is in trouble. Sidewalk slam gets two. They go to the floor and Show keeps up the dominance. Show gets the steps but they get kicked into his face. We’ll ignore the laws of physics that would suggest that it’s IMPOSSIBLE for the steps to hit him in the face from that angle but whatever. Booker wins by countout.

Rating: F+. This was nothing and the ending sucked. Booker got in one move other than the kick to knock the steps into Show’s face. Other than the tag match, all of these matches have just sucked, mainly due to them being short. The NWO never worked in the WWF but they kept shoving them down our throats until WWE woke up and stopped it in a few weeks.

Nash and Michaels, also in the NWO, punch Big Show. Make that just Nash actually. Michaels says they’re after Booker, not each other. Shawn says the NWO is a family and they’ll be a more complete family when the injured member returns. That would be HHH and he never would join. After a LONG speech, he kicks Show in the face and they leave.

Vince tells Taker how awesome he is. Taker vs. Rock is announced for Vengeance.

Matt wishes Jeff good luck and Lita pops in in a neckbrace to wish him good luck too. Jeff nearly destroys the door and screams a lot as he leaves. We really should have seen the signs coming.

Undisputed WWE Championship: Jeff Hardy vs. Undertaker

So the idea here is that Jeff has been destroyed by Taker every time they’ve fought but Taker has never been in a ladder match so Jeff should have a chance. Taker goes for the ladder but gets it kicked into his face. Jeff gets a chair shot in but Taker catches the ladder shot from Jeff. They haven’t been in the ring together yet. Taker hammers on Jeff for awhile but gets sent into a ladder to slow things down.

Jeff launches himself at the ladder with Taker under it, probably hurting himself even worse. They get into the ring and Jeff is down again. Taker gets a big shot with the ladder to knock Jeff into the table. He has the match won but instead Taker climbs down and pounds on Jeff even more. This is SO slow. Jeff tries to fire in some shots and goes off on Taker but a single punch slows him down.

Taker hits a running clothesline in the corner. This is the least interesting ladder match I’ve ever seen. Taker misses a charge in the corner and slams into the ladder….but is back on offense about 4 seconds later. Whisper in the Wind takes Taker down but the champ is back up and hitting a big boot before Jeff gets in another shot. A low blow puts Taker down as does a flip dive to the floor.

Jeff gets the big ladder but Taker stops him with a Last Ride attempt. The WORST RANA EVER sends Taker to the floor as a counter and Jeff climbs. He touches the gold but Taker makes the save. Taker goes for the Last Ride again but Jeff cracks him with a chair twice and climbs very slowly. And never mind as Undertaker cracks him with the chair and “chokeslams” (more like choke-shoves) him off to retain.

Rating: D. I remember this a lot more fondly than it was here. The ending is good and is some decent drama, but the rest of it is just SO slow and uninteresting. Jeff never had a chance but Taker did nothing but punch the rest of the time and that doesn’t make for an interesting match at all. Very weak match but a good ending.

Jeff gets back up so Taker goes back in and hits a Last Ride. Taker rides off but Jeff gets the mic and says he’s still standing. Taker comes back to hit him but stops and raises Jeff’s hand, supposedly turning face in the process. I don’t remember that coming for a few more weeks but allegedly it was here.

Overall Rating: C-. Well the second hour was much better but the first one was just horrible. The problem here is that it felt like a throwaway show but they didn’t want it to be if that made sense. It set up some stuff for Vengeance but not a lot happened here. Oh and Thursday is the show where Angle made the Undisputed Title disputed, which I’ve already reviewed actually.

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This one should be a bit arguable.I’m going to go with the downward spirals of the Hardy Boys.  Jeff went from being a heel (seriously, WHO THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA???) to Victory Road and Matt made him look like a pillar of stability by comparison.  These two were at one point considered the future and now they’re running jokes.  And Jeff will be world champion by Mania.

 

Your picks/thoughts?

Turning Point 2011
Date: November 13, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s time for Turning Point and to be honest, I had to look up the card to remember anything more than about two matches. The title match is slapped on because they’ve burned through their big PPV main event level matches for the sake of a TV rating that came and went. Other than that we have a lot of matches that don’t mean a lot and two that were added since Impact to flesh out the card a little bit. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a bit different, probably because they have no idea what the point of this show is. It’s about….Richard Nixon and Bobby Roode? Whatever.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. Eric Young

Apparently losing to a reality TV star after losing your previous title shot means you get another one on PPV. There’s the locking up with the referee and the victory lap from Young before anything happens. They speed things up to start and Young sends him to the floor. They do some basic fast paced stuff and nothing is really worth writing down. Robbie hooks a chinlock and then a second one a few moments later.Nice way to fire up a crowd to open a PPV guys.

Orlando is fired up for this. I guess they were jealous from not having their show for a few weeks. Young gets up and hits a Stunner to escape and both guys are a bit dazed. Eric starts Hulking Up and takes his pants off, revealing GTW trunks. What is the appeal of this guy? I’d assume it’s that he’s not interesting or talented enough to be anything but comedy relief but I’ll be nice and assume otherwise.

Eric fights back with a forearm, dropkick and belly to belly for two. There’s a top rope elbow and he’s no Shawn Michaels. The other Rob saves the other Robbie and Eric strips again. Get this over with already. Eric dives to the floor to take them both out but Rob gets in an extra shot, allowing Robbie E to get the pin and the title at about 7:00.

Rating: D+. The only thing that matters here is that Eric Freaking Young isn’t champion anymore. This was one of those comedy matches that wasn’t funny and is there to say they had another title match. TNA fanboys like to complain about WWE being for kids, but a Jersey Shore guy just beat a guy who stripped to two pairs of underwear to win their equivalent of the Intercontinental Title. Think about that for a minute.

Video on Mexican America vs. Ink Inc.

AJ and Roode are here.

Tag Titles: Mexican America vs. Ink Inc.

Ok so it’s a six person tag with Sarita and Toxxine or whatever her name is in as well. This was about a beating that injured Neal from like 6 months ago which is being mentioned now because we’ve had too much to talk about since then. Anarquia vs. Moore gets us going but it’s off to Neal quickly. Jesse and Hernandez get in each others’ faces and yell at each other a lot as the fans chant USA. I’m assuming it’s for Ink Inc, but the Mexicans are Americans so who knows?

The big showdown goes nowhere and it’s back to Moore who gets caught by the power game for a bit. Ink Inc speeds things up and it’s off to Anarquia. Boring stuff so far and we have a Pork sign in the front row. Tazz praises Sarita for jumping up and down on the apron like he’s a 12 year old trying to sound mature. Off to Neal who gets caught by a slingshot shoulder by Hernandez.

Mexican America takes over on Neal as I’m trying to imagine Ricky Morton with that kind of hair. It really isn’t working. Off to a chinlock by Anarquia for a bit of rest. Some SuperMex power double teaming doesn’t work as Anarquia misses his assisted dive. Neal tags in the chick and it’s Toxxine vs. Sarita. The tattoed chick dominates until Hernandez makes the save and things break down.

We get to the comedy of the match as Toxxine and Neal pulls Anarquia’s pants down to show the involuntary tattoo back there. And then Sarita hits Toxxine in the back with the belt for the pin at 8:34. You know, because they haven’t made the titles even more worthless already. Didn’t they have something to do with Hulk for like fifteen minutes?

Rating: D+. Whatever here as this is what we waited for since June or however long its been? The match wasn’t anything good and the girls added nothing to it at all. Oh and the forced tattoo thing was pointless too as well as not funny. They couldn’t get five minutes to build this on Impact either? I don’t think it would have helped but the thought would have been nice.

Aries and Kash are in league to take care of Sorensen tonight. My mind wanders as Kash talks but I think he mentioned cutting Sorensen with his knife. Aries has a cape and stays behind to get more face time. His words, not mine.

X-Division Title: Jesse Sorensen vs. Austin Aries vs. Kid Kash

Aries leaves Kash to fight Sorensen on his own to start. Sorensen gets beaten down quickly as things start fast. They’re playing up the whole 2-1 idea here as Sorensen gets rid of one but has the other waiting on him. Sorensen is like screw it and hits a huge dive to take them both out, getting two on Aries. Kash gets Sorensen down and tries to steal the title but Aries makes the save.

Kash hits a low blow now but Aries reminds him of the plan. Sorensen sends Kash to the floor via a nice dropkick (every rookie knows how to do that move very well anymore) but his cross body only gets two on Aries as Kash is back in. We get a slick double team move as Kash hooks a surfboard and Aries kicks away. They take turns chopping Sorensen and this is looking bleak.

Sorensen grabs a backdrop to send Kash to the floor out of nowhere but he’s still outnumbered. I mean, he is fighting A Double after all. Kash pulls him to the floor so Aries can hit the awesome dive for two back in the ring as now it’s Kash that doesn’t want to lose. The heels argue a bit but beat on Sorensen a bit more. Aries goes up and does an Eddie Guerrero imitation (he passed away six years ago today) but lands on the knees. Wouldn’t that hut really badly?

Kash was up top and misses his old fat man moonsault. Sorensen makes his comeback and gets two on Aries with a neckbreaker. Kash keeps making the save as I guess he needs the exercise at his age. Sorensen makes the heels hit each other with clotheslines and goes up. Kash gets up and hooks a superplex and then the Moneymaker (double underhook piledriver) to kill Sorensen dead but Aries steals the pin at about 13:00.

Rating: B. I enjoyed this a lot as the psychology was there as it almost always is in three ways. I liked this one a lot as Sorensen couldn’t catch a break which is the whole idea of something like this. Fun match and the dive by Austin is always cool to see. Good match and I think Aries retaining is the right idea here.

AJ says tonight is about revenge and he’ll take the title tonight to get rid of Roode once and for all. Solid angry promo here.

Christopher Daniels vs. Rob Van Dam

This is no DQ. Why? No particular reason, but gimmicks make matches better right Russo? Daniels asks how we got to this stipulation so fast and says he’s not a hardcore wrestler. Instead, let’s make this a regular wrestling match. The fans boo what they had already come in expecting to see and RVD eventually shakes hands. Daniels pulls him in because every face has to be an idiot.

They go to the mat quickly and Daniels is sent running. Back in and there’s the monkey flip to put Daniels in trouble. Why is it so rare to see Daniels in something not involving AJ? A kick puts Daniels down but he’s an old X-Division guy so he doesn’t sell anything. Off to a chinlock by Daniels but RVD escapes and hits a quick Rolling Thunder for no cover. A slingshot legdrop has Daniels in trouble but he takes over again quickly.

Daniels hooks a neck crank as this match is slowing down a lot. That’s not exactly a bad thing but it’s noticeable. Death Valley Driver gets two for Daniels. A running forearm in the corner puts Van Dam down. They slug it out and RVD puts him down with a clothesline. The springboard kick puts him down too and Daniels sends him to the floor because he was down 6 seconds.

A top rope kick puts Daniels on the floor and he tries to run. Van Dam rams him into the barricade and then hits a running legdrop to Daniels’ back as he’s draped over said barricade. The fans aren’t as into this as you would expect. Back inside and Daniels throws the referee into RVD and drops him with an STO. There’s a chair to Van Dam’s ribs and a takedown onto the chair for two. Here comes the toolbox and then the screwdriver but Van Dam gets the chair for the Van Daminator. Tazz: “Been there, felt that, it sucks.” Five Star ends this at 11:13.

Rating: C. Not bad here but the rules and stipulations were kind of a weird deal. It’s very nice to see Daniels doing something other than fighting AJ. I really don’t get the point in having RVD going over here as they had built Daniels up pretty well lately and they have RVD, the guy with the least amount of direction this side of Kofi Kingston, get a win over him on PPV?

The Robs celebrate and Robbie says he’s a TV star who will be around for a long time to come. They’re going to the club.

We recap Crimson vs. Matt Morgan. It’s a “dream match” according to them. I want whatever sleeping pill that person took because it must be powerful.

Matt Morgan vs. Crimson

It’s a power struggle to start and neither guy can get anywhere with that. Test of strength doesn’t go anywhere as Crimson lets go, which is kind of a heel move. Crimson takes over with a cravate and then some strikes which Tenay says he’s really good at. I don’t recall him being anything above average at them but that works. A clothesline puts Crimson on the floor as they’re playing up the idea that they’re evenly matched.

They fight on the floor and Morgan eventually takes over, possibly due to Crimson having a bad knee. Side slam gets two back in the ring for Morgan. Crimson fights back with a forearm/cross body. A release belly to belly overhead suplex gets two. Morgan fights back with a chokeslam for two. They’re playing this up like a chess match where neither guy can hit anything to get an extended advantage.

Morgan uses more power stuff but can’t get the pin on Crimson which is frustrating him. Crimson tries to reverse a whip but gets caught by a big boot from Morgan. Crimson grabs the Red Sky out of nowhere but Morgan rolls to the ropes, delaying the cover and making it only get two. Morgan says give me your best shot and they slug it out. They do something similar to Cactus Jack and Terry Funk trading weapon shots at the Rumble in I think 98. They get in a brawl and shove the referee down for the weak but required double DQ at 12:05.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad but it was a little weird. They were trying to have this clash of the titans and it only half worked as Crimson hasn’t been dominant at all and Morgan is known for not being able to win the big one so it was like a clash of titans that aren’t already off in a big war if that makes sense. The ending was required as I’d assume they’re going to another PPV match with these two, which is fine.

There’s a pull apart brawl after the match.

Scott Steiner and Bully Ray are ready for Abyss and Anderson. Ray talks trash and tells Scott to just keep flexing. Scott says he went to Parts Unknown and found Abyss’ girlfriend to find out everything about Abyss. She was a cross between a redneck and a billy goat. After this, Ray has to date her and she’s not only ugly but fat. Ray insinuates that Team 3D is the best team ever and Scott says he’s the best tag team ever. Oh and don’t bring her any food because she’s fat. This was HILARIOUS.

Scott Steiner/Bully Ray vs. Abyss/Mr. Anderson

The entrances take forever and it’s Anderson vs. Ray to start us off. I’m still trying to figure out why Abyss was a mystery partner last week. Ray runs his mouth a lot as Anderson takes him down with an armbar. Anderson’s clotheslines don’t work so he uses Amazing Red’s double rotation kick instead. Ray suplexes out of a headlock and here’s Steiner. Taz and Steiner had coffee earlier. Good to know I guess.

No Abyss yet as Anderson gets two off a clothesline. Anderson takes both of them down but gets crotched on the post. Taz calls it Yambag Yahtzee. Didn’t he used to be the human suplex machine? The fans say they love Steiner so he tells them to shut up. They chant louder, thereby making him mad. How much can they love him then? Anderson hits a swinging neckbreaker to take Ray down but we get the old school heel move of coming in to make sure the referee misses the face tag. I love that.

Scott goes up and hits his Angle Slam from up there as we’re still waiting on the very hot tag to Abyss. Steiner draws him in as Anderson gets a sunset flip for two. The fans haven’t stopped chanting for about three minutes now. He even flips them off and they won’t stop. Ray and Steiner yell at each other as Ray comes in. Anderson counters the Bubba Bomb into a DDT and both guys are down.

There are those chants again. I know he’s popular but this is insane. We get the double tag and the fans are only a little excited to see Abyss. He beats everyone up and drops Steiner with a slam. Abyss goes up and hits a middle rope splash on the pancake formerly known as Scott Steiner. That gets two as does a chokeslam. The heels double team so Abyss runs them over with a double clothesline.

Anderson gets a blind tag and takes over on apparently the most popular guy in the entire company. Steiner grabs a downward spiral for two on Anderson, who gets booed for kicking out a little bit. Steiner even busts out the Frankensteiner for no cover on Anderson as Abyss got a blind tag of his own and the Black Hole Slam ends this at 11:47.

Rating: C. A decent tag match but those Steiner chants were a big surprise. Then again these are the TNA fans so if they could find a way to get themselves over I’d bet on them having a meeting before the PPV to plan it as well as possible. Not a bad match here and it was better than most Impact tags, which is really all you can ask for.

Post match Immortal beats down Abyss and puts him through a table but he pops up.

Gail/Madison/Karen are ready and this is about Karen looking good as the Knockouts Champion reflects on her as the Knockouts boss. Karen says she and Madison won’t come out later.

Video on Velvet Sky who we’re still supposed to believe was bullied because girls that look like that and were athletes in high school got treated awfully right?

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky

Brawl to start and I really can’t complain about seeing Velvet in shorts like those. Gail is knocked to the floor and Velvet totally misses a baseball slide but Gail sells it anyway. Back in a crossbody gets two for Sky. Kim takes over and here’s Karen on the ramp as the fans chant what sounds like Sloppy Seconds. Gail hooks an abdominal stretch and Velvet fights back with nothing significant.

I’m sorry if I seem totally out of it here but I have zero interest in this show for the most part. Eat Defeat is blocked into a facebuster by Velvet but Karen distracts as Madison comes in to lay out Velvet. That only gets two and Gail goes up, missing a missile dropkick but managing a rollup with tights for two. Madison cheats again and Eat Defeat gives us a new champion at 5:54. Really?

Rating: C-. The match was ok but the cheating got old fast. Also, they really took the title off Velvet that fast? I’m really kind of surprised by that as I would have thought they would build to Velvet vs. Angelina in the big showdown that has only kind of happened so far. Not great and not bad, but Velvet in blue is always a good thing.

Eric is on the phone with presumably his wife and says Garrett will be coming back to her in a bag after Thursday. Ray comes up all panicked and says they have to do something about Abyss. Maybe the beating him down stuff isn’t working. The camera is on Eric’s stomach for some reason. Ray freaks and says Eric needs to do something. Eric says Ray needs to do something as I have images of Spaceballs dancing in my head. They go off to find Abyss.

We recap Jeff vs. Jeff where Hardy says that he needed to get back to his roots. Jarrett says that Hardy has burned everything how many times and been selfish how many times? Hardy says he doesn’t deserve another chance but asks for another anyway.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Jeff Hardy

It’s a good move to put Hardy in there with Jarrett for his first big match back as Jarrett is almost a guaranteed decent match. Hardy comes out with something like a viking hat on that resembles a ram’s head. Hardy comes in and hits an immediate Twist of Fate to end it in 4 seconds. What just happened???

Rating: C+. Now the first second was kind of slow but those next two seconds were as good as any two seconds that the Briscos and the Funks ever could hope to have. Have you ever seen a match start that fast? The last second was kind of weak though so it brings things down. Still good though.

Jarrett wants to do it again so he jumps Hardy and that’s all cool I guess. The two opening bells were exactly one minute apart.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Jeff Hardy

Jarrett jumped him so he has an early advantage, hitting the move where Hardy is in the 619 position and Jarrett hits a running hip shot to the back of the head. Big Boss Man used it a lot. That really needs a name. All Jarrett so far as Hardy sells like he’s a master at. The guy may be a screwup but he can make you believe he fell out of a building like few others can. Hardy fights back with elbows and punches but Jarrett hooks a sleeper. They slug it out and Hardy grabs a jackknife cover for two. Both finishers are countered and Jarrett tries the figure four. Hardy rolls through for the pin at 5:47.

Rating: C-. Well it was longer, but I still don’t get the point of whatever we just saw was. Hardy looked ok but what was the point in having Hardy pin him twice in less than six minutes? Did Hardy have an early probation meeting to make? Anyway, this was ok but I have no idea what was going on here. I’d love to see some reports on this one.

Jarrett hits Hardy with a chair as he goes up the ramp. Jarrett shouts that it’s over when he says it’s over. He throws Hardy back in the ring and Hebner is forced back in. Jarrett hits the Stroke and says count but Hardy rolls him up and pins Jarrett again after we’ll say about 20 seconds.

Some people congratulate Hardy in the back, including AJ which is a big moment in a way.

Roode says that he was Beer Money and he was Fourtune. He’s the leader of the new generation and that he’ll do whatever it takes to beat AJ and flips the camera off.

We recap Roode winning the title and his heel turn. He didn’t want to risk losing his other shot and turned heel to make sure it worked. Then they used Roode vs. Storm on Impact to make sure that they didn’t have a long build to a big time PPV match which could have drawn money. I mean, they managed a 1.3 in the ratings for crying out loud. CELEBRATION BABY!!! AJ said he’ll fight him for injuring Storm, who is the real star in all of this.

TNA World Title: Robert Roode vs. AJ Styles

After some big match intros we’re ready to go. It’s 10:30 so they have a pretty decent amount of time to use. Roode bails to the corner to start. Nothing to see in the first two minutes or so as Roode stalls. They trade some punches but they’re in whatever gear is below first. AJ had a legit ankle injury coming into this but I’m not sure how severe it was. AJ dodges a charge to send Roode to the floor and hits a running dive off the apron.

It’s pretty clear that ankle is messing him up. Roode rams him into the apron as I don’t think they’re going to go higher up in the gears than this, which if AJ is badly hurt on his ankle is certainly understandable. AJ tries a springboard back in the ring but has no elevation at all. Off to a gutwrench (hold not suplex) by Roode which AJ gets out of quickly. Blockbuster is broken up and AJ tries a superplex. Roode heabutts him down but AJ pops up and gets that superplex this time.

This is reminiscent of Mania 14 as Shawn had to wrestle a totally different style due to his back injury. AJ hooks the fireman’s carry into the backbreaker and AJ I think botches a springboard move. Roode rolls him up and throws a foot on the rope for two. Big spinebuster gets two for Roode. The Impact Zone is weird as you can hear individual fans throughout the show. AJ grabs a suplex and possibly got a hammerlock slam in there too.

He amazes me by managing a decent 450 springboard splash but Roode rolls out of the way. AJ hitting the mat was painful looking. The Clash is broken up and there’s the crossface that AJ tapped to on Impact a few weeks back. AJ breaks out of it through head grease but can’t get the Clash. He tries the springboard forearm but it’s more like a crossbody, getting two.

Roode sneaks in a low blow but the referee gets some of it too. That gets two on AJ so Roode yells and gets small packaged for two. Styles snaps off an enziguri as my jaw somehow drops lower at his ability to do this on a bad ankle. AJ goes off on Roode, throwing in a low blow to knock him to the floor. He totally misses a suicide dive though and Styles is in trouble. Fisherman’s suplex gets two and Roode isn’t sure what to do. Styles busts out the Pele but the Clash is countered into a quick rollup with tights for the pin at 19:33.

Rating: B. The match itself wasn’t all that great but considering AJ’s injury and having to change his style to something totally new like that and getting a decent match out of it too is worth the extra praise. No one thought AJ had a chance here as everything is about Storm vs. Roode #whatever so this was just a pit stop. Impressive showing from AJ but nothing here that makes me think Roode is ready to be the top heel at all, which is his biggest weakness at this point.

Overall Rating: C-. Not their worst PPV but a lot of this just didn’t feeling interesting at all. AJ’s match is a spectacle due to his injury and it being a pretty decent match anyway. The Jeffs had an ok sequence as well as it’s hard to call it a match other than the second part. Pretty ok show but I had no desire to watch it as it felt totally thrown together at the last minute with two matches not being announced on Impact at all. Decent show, but nothing at all worth going out of your way to see.

Results
Robbie E. b Eric Young – Pin after a shot from Rob Terry
Mexican America b. Ink Inc. – Sarita pinned Toxxine after hitting her with a title belt
Austin Aries b. Kid Kash and Jesse Sorensen – Rollup to Kash
Rob Van Dam b. Christopher Daniels – Five Star Frog Splash
Matt Morgan vs. Crimson went to a double disqualification
Abyss/Mr. Anderson b. Scott Steiner/Bully Ray – Black Hole Slam to Steiner
Gail Kim b. Velvet Sky – Eat Defeat
Jeff Hardy b. Jeff Jarrett – Twist of Fate
Jeff Hardy b. Jeff Jarrett – Small Package
Jeff Hardy b. Jeff Jarrett – Crucifix
Robert Roode b. AJ Styles – Rollup with a handful of tights

 

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Yes he is.  For ten days.

 

He also gets a hundred thousand dollar fine and 30 months probation.  All this after over a year in court.

 

Thoughts on this?

Impact
Date: February 17, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: The Boy Is Back In Town

It’s the first show after Against All Odds and we have a new TNA World Heavyweight Champion in the form of Jeff Hardy who still isn’t clear of jail time after his drug charges.  Other than him though it was a very bad night for Immortal as only Jeff Hardy and Jeff Jarrett won on Sunday.  It should be interesting to see where we go from here.  Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from after Against All Odds with Jarrett saying Kurt will deliver his princess to him on March 3^rd.  Jeff Hardy says he made ladder matches famous and still is at 33 years old.  RVD vs. Jeff Hardy for the world title tonight.  I’m not saying a word.

Here’s Immortal to open the show.  Eric brings out Jeff Hardy for the celebration.  He talks about how Immortal is still dominant despite Fourtune leaving.  As he’s talking we see Flair arriving.  Matt Hardy vs. Styles tonight.  Eric talks about how Jeff Hardy was supposed to get some time off but he got a call from the network who wants ratings.  Therefore tonight Jeff Hardy has to defend the title against RVD tonight.  Bischoff is going to try to avoid it but right now that’s the plan.

Eric now shifts over to Flair who he’s not sure about.  It gives Eric a weird feeling that he doesn’t like so Flair has until next week.  Cue Flair’s music and here he is.  He says that only one person gave him an ultimatum.  That person was his 3^rd ex wife.  Everyone in this ring grew up on Ric Flair and he even got together with Hogan after 25 years.

Did you forget he’s a wrestling god?  When he was in Europe people didn’t call him Ric.  They just called him God.  Cue a God chant of course.  Flair says that he’ll see them later and we really get no resolution here.  Flair definitely came off like a face here.

The Jarretts are getting massages and talk about the wedding vows on March 3^rd.  They talk about tuxedos and imply sex later.  That’s the only way to put it really.

We’re back and Matt Hardy and AJ Styles are in a fight in the back.  Immortal runs in as does Fourtune and it’s a big brawl.

We get some clips of Kurt from Sunday looking very sad after losing.  Now we talk about the ladder match.  Hey, did you know both Jeffs won on Sunday?  I didn’t know if the three clip packages and talking about it in 20 minutes made that clear enough.

Sarita/Rosita run into Hernandez in the back and he walks to the ring with them after some Spanish chatting.

Douglas Williams vs. Hernandez

 

Hernandez jumps him in the aisle and beats the living heck out of him while the girls cheer him on.  Hernandez throws him in the ring and chokes him with what looks like a shirt.  Velvet runs down and beats up Sarita a bit but Rosita takes care of her.  Angelina comes out to even things up and they brawl.  Wasn’t there a match going on?  Back in the ring an absolutely SICK Border Toss ends this.  Williams landed right on the back of his head and if he didn’t seriously hurt his neck I’ll be surprised.  Match ran 2:00 even and a large amount of that was the fight between the girls.

Eric is on the phone with someone from the network and is trying to get Jeff Hardy out of the title defense tonight.  This goes over about as well as Eugene in a feature match at Summerslam did and we take a break.

Back with Pope in the ring with a stuffed pig on a table.  It looks like a party of some kind.  He says that he’s a hot Pope and the pig is a sloppy Joe.  Pope wants to talk about Jesus and just like he fed thousands with fish and bread, he’s going to feed everyone here with that pig.  Ronald Regan and Michael Jackson believe in him apparently, as does Jesus who texted him and believes in Pope too.  That last bit was funny.

Pope wants to know who is first but it’ll cost $10 a pop.  Cue Joe’s music and he’s ticked.  Okato is behind Pope and when pope tries to run Okato kicks him in the chest.  Joe drills Pope in the corner and it’s a Muscle Buster through the pig.  Pope gets the apple shoved in his mouth.

Back and Robbie E and Cookie say they’re going to win the title again.  In the back Kazarian is kissing Traci Brooks (real life wife) and it’s time for a match.

X-Division Title: Kazarian vs. Robbie E

 

Not sure if this is a title match or not.  Before the match Kaz runs down Cookie and says she’s ugly with the makeup.  She gets ticked off and leaves.  Yes this is a title match apparently.  Robbie is all aggressive to start and Kaz is in trouble.  Beautiful People vs. Sarita/Rosita tonight.  Kaz gets a springboard elbow and a leg lariat to take over.  And then Cookie comes out with a big purse to hit Kaz in the head with for the DQ at 1:57.  No rating of course but Robbie showed some nice aggression here.  Traci bounces down and it’s a mini cat fight.

Flair goes in to talk to Fourtune and seems to be accepted by them.  He has presents for them and of course they get Iced.  AJ can wait until after his big match though.  They chant chug and down the drinks.  Storm drinks AJ’s just because he can.

AJ vs. Matt Hardy next.

Matt Hardy vs. AJ Styles

 

See?  I told you it was next.  AJ sprints to the ring in the athletic pants of doom and goes off on Matt.  He busts out a huge tope con hilo to half kill Matt.  Ah good he got rid of the warm-up pants and has regular tights under them.  Back in the ring and Matt gets a Side Effect for two.  Matt grabs a Cravate and here’s Flair to play cheerleader.

AJ gets up and seems to rub Matt’s face to take him to the mat.  Styles Clash is blocked and they speed it up a bit with Matt tripping over AJ.  Nice dropkick puts Matt down and AJ goes up.  And then Flair shoves him off the top, naturally joining Immortal again as it was about as obvious as you could get.  Twist of Hate ends it at 3:25.

Rating: C. Match was just long enough to grade but was nothing special at all.  As soon as Flair was there the swerve was completely obvious.  Somehow this is by far the best match of the night and it barely ran 200 seconds.  That might be good though as Matt isn’t someone that can go long distance for the most part.

Flair and Matt beat down AJ until Fourtune runs them off.

Anderson is mad and wants Bischoff.

The Jarretts are in a hot tub.  Can’t complain much with Karen in there.

Anderson wants Bischoff and here comes the silver fox.  He’s annoyed that RVD is getting the title shot tonight.  Despite losing clean on Sunday, Anderson thinks he’s been robbed.  The network decided that RVD got the shot tonight.  Anderson wants to know since when did the network have anything to do with anything around here.  Put him in the ring and that’s ratings.  Bischoff says that Anderson needs to PG himself down a bit.

Anderson says he’ll take the word out of his vocabulary and Bischoff talks more.  Eric will put him in the main event as the guest referee.  Jeff won clean on Sunday and Eric says that Anderson can get a shot if he plays it fair tonight.  Mic Check leaves Bischoff laying.  Anderson is supposed to be TNA’s Austin and it’s just not there.  Points for trying though I guess.

Velvet is talking to Winter and Velvet wants Winter to stay out of ringside tonight.  Velvet turns her back and Winter picks up some scissors until Angelina comes in.  Winter says Velvet could never feel for Angelina like Winter does.  Velvet leaves and Winter says all will be revealed.

AJ is ticked about Flair and says this is about AJ vs. Flair.

Angelina Love/Velvet Sky vs. Rosita/Sarita

 

The brawl starts in the aisle as you would expect.  Velvet vs. Sarita starts us off officially.  Off to Rosita as the fans are rather quiet.  Tandem elbow drop from the Beautiful People gets no cover as Sarita breaks it up.  World’s Strongest Slam from Angelina to Rosita and it’s off to Sarita again.  Backbreaker gets two for Angelina and Velvet comes in again.

The cousins are tagging in a lot.  Rosita doesn’t seem to want to stay in and keeps bringing Sarita in, which ticks her off.  Everything breaks down with Angelina and Rosita on the floor.  Velvet tries a DDT but Rosita trips her up and holds the feet down for the pin at 3:52.  Can we please break 4 minutes?  Please?

Rating: D. Weak match here with a predictable ending.  There was no way the Beautiful People were going to be able to win here and everyone knew it.  This went nowhere for the most part and was just to continue the losing streak by Velvet.  Somehow this is the longest match of the night.  That’s a little absurd.

Velvet says she wants to end this with Sarita.  Sarita says Velvet is a loser then remembers she’s supposed to have an accent.  Sarita wants Velvet’s career on the line and Velvet says bring it on.

The Jarretts are going to dinner.  More sex is implied.

Kurt is mad and is going to their dinner party.

Madison is talking to Tara and says she’s knocked out the entire locker room so she’s bored.  There’s an open challenge next week.

Next week there’s a pose down between Terry and Steiner.

We recap RVD’s world title win and him having to vacate the title due to the attack by Abyss.  Also we see about Hardy betraying him and being responsible for the attack on RVD.  Hardy says he’s going to hurt Van Dam.

The Jarretts are complaining about the food and toast Kurt having to be humiliated on March 3^rd.  Karen complains about the wine and Jarrett goes off on the chef.  And here’s Kurt who just somehow got in the restaurant.  He wants to know where the tip is.  This was uh….odd.

RVD says tonight he gets his shot and preparation meets opportunity.  The title is just a bonus.

Since we need to make sure no match gets anything resembling a decent amount of time tonight we talk about the Dudley street fight at the PPV but Spike won’t let them show the footage.  D-Von won’t give comments but Ray comes out to the table.  Ray goes all bully on them and Tazz has something to say about it.  Ray says that if he wants to smack Tenay (this old man) then he will.  Tazz says no you won’t because you crossed the line Sunday.  Isn’t that the point of the company.  Ray slaps Tenay’s headset off and leaves.

TNA World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

 

Anderson is the guest referee.  He does his usual intro but calls Green Bay Title Tow USA to mess the fans up a bit.  Taz says that Jeff’s entrance is inspired by Lady Gaga.  Oh dear he’s coming out of an egg.  I give up.  RVD, the guy that is so angry, starts with a collar and elbow tie up.  He gets the one footed dropkick to Hardy who is crotched on the top.  Flair vs. AJ is announced for next week.

All RVD to start.  To the floor and RVD drapes him over the barricade so he can hit the spinning leg kick to the back as we take a break.  Back with Van Dam hitting something on Hardy that we couldn’t see since when we came back the camera was on the monitor above the ring and then cut away.  Either way it gets two for the challenger.  Split Legged Moonsault out of the corner eats knees though.

Hardy gets a low dropkick to send RVD’s ribs into the post.  Sitout Gordbuster gets two for Jeff.  Whisper in the Wind misses and Van Dam gets a standing moonsault for no cover.  Van Dam gets shoved to the floor and Jeff takes over again.  Swanton gets two.  Five Star gets two as Jeff gets his foot on the ropes.  Van Dam tries to get a rollup but accidentally runs Jeff into the corner where Anderson is standing.  A low blow by Hardy when Anderson can’t see it sets up the Twist of Hate to end it at 12:20.

Rating: C+. The match was fine and thankfully it got some time unlike the rest of the matches tonight, but this should have been at Victory Road instead of on Impact.  Anderson added very little here but I guess it’s supposed to set up the continuance of their feud and make him look more like Austin.  Either way, not bad here but nothing I’ll remember in a few days.

Anderson hits the Mic Check on Hardy post match and Van Dam complains about the low blow.  Here’s a Mic Check for Van Dam as well to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Yeah this was pretty bad.  The main problem here is simple: until the main event which started at 10:47, we had (rounded up to) 11:30 of wrestling.  I’m sorry but that’s unacceptable for me in nearly two hours of wrestling.  They gave us a decent main event which should have been a PPV main event but instead we got it with about two hours of buildup.  If nothing else make THIS the main event March 3^rd but that’s Hogan and the Jarretts’ night I guess.

Overall the show was too light on wrestling and all of the talking they did amounted to nothing.  Flair returned and was with Fourtune for about an hour before joining Immortal again.  That and the Jarretts were the main focus of the show tonight.  All in all it’s a big preview for March 3^rd which seems to be the new norm for TNA: have supershows instead of the PPVs as the main thing.  That’s fine, but it makes the TV shows pretty boring on the way there.  Bad show this week after TNA had been on a hot streak lately.

Results

Hernandez b. Douglas Williams – Border Toss

Kazarian b. Robbie E via DQ when Cookie hit Kazarian with a purse

Matt Hardy b. AJ Styles – Twist of Hate

Rosita/Sarita b. Angelina Love/Velvet Sky – Rosita pinned Velvet when Sarita held Rosita’s legs

Jeff Hardy b. Rob Van Dam – Twist of Hate