Ric Flair/Arn Anderson vs. Kevin Greene/Steve McMichael

This is another attempt at crossing over with football, which just never works for one reason: football players can’t wrestle that well because they get a crash course in wrestling. Now there have been players that have gotten long training and are wrestlers for a long time who become good wrestlers and Mongo got close to doing that, but not when they do it in the off season or after retiring for the most part.

Heenan manages the heels here for no apparent reason. Savage manages the faces because he hates Flair, which is fine as it gives them a lot more credibility. Greene walks like a robot. His wife is hot though so that helps a lot. Rhodes makes a great comment that the football players who have been learning to wrestle shouldn’t try to wrestle. So wait, they wasted their time for the last few months? That’s a great endorsement there Dusty.

Arn and Mongo get down in a three point stance because that’s a brilliant idea where Mongo of course dominates him. Tony says that Mongo left the Bears for money. Remember that line. This really is just getting stupid all around. What’s commonly forgotten about Flair is that he was a college football player as well at the University of Minnesota, so the three point stance isn’t exactly a foreign concept to him.

Very soon we start to see the problem: the football guys know about 5 moves each, two of which are boots and punches. You can see that Flair and Anderson are completely carrying them and calling the whole thing, including hearing Flair call spots to Mongo, which might be due to the extreme close-ups in the corner.

Flair whispered, but with the camera 4 inches from him you can’t really blame him for that. The heel women chase away the face women. The announcers are still trying to make this sound epic and are still failing on every level. Mongo gets beaten on forever until the hot tag to bring in Greene for more punches, tackles and slams. Another five minutes or so of beating on Greene until Flair gets the figure four on.

Debra, Liz and Woman come back but Debra is dressed up now and Liz has a briefcase. You know what’s coming next. The shirt and money are in the case and Mongo hits Greene with it to join the Horsemen and end the match, drawing a huge pop as this is Horsemen country. Post match, there’s a huge beatdown by all four Horsemen. Benoit and Savage fight as I drool over the idea of that feud. You can see Flair say good job to Green after he pins him and the Four Horsemen are back!

Rating: C-. This was just pretty bad to say the least. I’ll give the football guys credit though as they were at least trying very hard. The turn at the end was clearly the most important part and while the match went on too long, it wasn’t terrible for what it was. Could have been better but it also could have been worse.

So Mongo is a Horsement, meaning it’s time for an eight man tag. From Nitro on July 1, 1996.

Rock N Roll Express/Joe Gomez/Renegade vs. Four Horsemen

Anderson vs. Morton to start after a break. Everything breaks down quickly and the Horsemen bail. Flair vs. Morton now. How often do you see all of the Horsemen in one match as a team? Morton gets a rana and there’s the double dropkick by the Express. Were this 1986, the crowd would be in a frenzy. Here it barely gets two. Flair vs. Gibson now and then off to AA.

Enziguri takes Anderson down as the Horsemen aren’t looking all that good here. Off to Benoit and Renegade who hasn’t meant anything in like a year. Benoit hammers away and it’s off to Flair again. No Mongo yet. The card for Bash at the Beach doesn’t sound half bad actually. Gomez beats on Flair and hits a backdrop but Flair cheats and brings in Benoit. Chris was in his element as a Horseman, he really was.

Benoit mauls him and the natural order of the universe is restored. Finally off to Mongo who gets a decent reaction actually. This is his in ring debut as a Horseman I believe. Mongo is in a word, really bad. He does some stuff that looks like a football player doing moves before thankfully bringing Flair back in. Gomez gets a sunset flip on Anderson for two.

There’s a spinebuster which is called a sidewalk slam here. Back off to Benoit who gets caught in a backslide for two. And that more or less ends Gomez’s career as Benoit is all fired up and the punches go flying. Off to Flair who does the same but Gomez manages to escape the Figure Four. Anderson and Flair work the knee and it’s off to Benoit who is all too comfortable with taking apart a body part.

Back to Mongo who is in desperate need of experience for the most part. Powerslam doesn’t look that bad. Neither does an elbow. That was FAR better than his first time in there. Off to Anderson but Gomez gets a shot in and the hot tag to Renegade. He cleans a few rooms and everything breaks down. Mongo totally botches the briefcase shot as he doesn’t actually hit Renegade (he tosses the case and the announcers make fun of him for it) but Renegade goes down anyway, into the Figure Four and we’re done.

Rating: C. Meh pretty basic match here but it was cool to see the Horsemen united like this. Mongo was indeed bad, but it was his second wrestling match ever. How mad can you really get at him for something like that? The powerslam wasn’t bad but he never really got any better at all. Points for trying though.

Now a six man version from Nitro on July 22, 1996.

Sting/Lex Luger/Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair/Steve McMichael/Chris Benoit

No Anderson, not even as a second. Flair isn’t here either but we were told earlier he would be making an entrance. After a break Arn is checking a white limo for whom I’d assume to be Flair. He can’t find him though so Arn, who just happens to be in wrestling gear, is filling in. The announcers speculate about who the next guy in the NWO could be and Heenan says it’s all about money. I guess you could call that foreshadowing.

Sting vs. Anderson to start us off. Mongo takes Sting down and the double beatdown is on. Back inside and here’s Benoit. I’d love to see early 90s Sting vs. Benoit in a 20 minute match or so. Mongo gets a bad neckbreaker for two. A bad dropkick follows and we look at the white limo. Off to the Crippler again and an elbow gets two. Only Sting has been in so far.

Anderson takes a few punches but manages to stop the tag. Back to the football dude who hammers on him in the corner and it’s very clear Mongo isn’t ready to be in there yet. It’s not his fault but he’s just not experienced enough yet. Even a few months in a minor league would have done wonders for him. Lex finally gets the hot tag and cleans house. Everything breaks down and the girls try to slip in the briefcase. Savage manages to steal it back and clocks Benoit with it, allowing Luger to get the easy pin.

Rating: C+. This was fine. It was short but given Mongo, that’s probably a good thing. He was trying but the experience and coordination just didn’t click. He was a great football player but it’s a different thing and I think he learned that quickly. Savage was never legally in the match I don’t think.

We did eight and we did six, so here’s four, from Halloween Havoc 1996.

Faces of Fear vs. Chris Benoit/Steve McMichael

Mongo has barely any experience at all so expect a heavy dose of Benoit here which is hardly a bad thing. If nothing else we get the music again for the Horsemen. This feud went on forever and there was never really a blowoff for it other than it just stopping. Meng and Mongo start and McMichael hides from a kick. Oh that looked bad. It’s always cool seeing Benoit’s mix of wrestling and brawling. Not a lot of people were as good at it as he was.

Mongo loses a sumo match to Meng. Is there a reason this is happening? Mongo wakes up and uses football moves to get Meng down. This works so well that Meng kicks him in the face. I love that. Whenever someone does something stupid, KICK THEM IN THE FACE. McMichael tries some dropkicks. This is a very sad sight. The match is only watchable when Benoit is in there so the tag can’t come fast enough.

In a NICE move, Meng backdrops Benoit into a powerbomb from Barbarian. It’s an awesome move, so Dusty starts talking about the Outsiders. Why you ask? It’s Dusty so this is normal for him. A double headbutt from the top hits Benoit as it’s a good thing that he’s in. Tony talks about an old rule called the One Save Rule, which says that if you save your partner more than once it’s a DQ. This rule isn’t in effect anymore and I’ve never heard of it.

Mongo pops Meng with the briefcase, thereby completely ignoring all stereotypes, and the top rope headbutt ends it. The Dungeon runs in and since the Horsemen are with Anderson at the hospital it’s Benoit vs. everyone. That only works for so long though as the Dungeon stands tall. At least there’s a feud here to explain this. Sullivan goes up to Woman and says let me show you why I’m still the man and does what we would call a punt on Benoit.

Rating: D. I know I gave the previous match the same grade but this is somewhat better. There’s a feud here which makes sense so that’s definitely a good thing. This was really bad when Mongo was in and decent when Benoit was in. Mongo always looked like he was trying, but he just didn’t ever get the hang of it. This is a great example of it.

Mongo would actually main event a PPV in a unique match. From Uncensored 1997.

Team WCW vs. Team NWO vs. Team Piper

WCW: Giant, Lex Luger, Scott Steiner
NWO: Hall, Nash, Hogan, Savage
Piper: Piper, McMichael, Jarrett, Benoit

This is kind of like a cross between WarGames and a battle royal. You have three guys start and go five minutes. Then after two minutes we get another man from each team (Team WCW will miss an entry due to Rick going on and they weren’t smart enough to have Page fill in). It’s elimination style, which means we don’t have to deal with 11 guys in the ring at once. You can put someone out via pin, submission, knockout and over the top.

If Team WCW wins, the NWO is stripped of all titles and can’t wrestle for 3 years. If Team Piper wins, Piper gets Hogan in a cage at a time to be announced. If Team NWO wins, they more or less have carte blanche (Previously they would have gotten a title shot anywhere anytime, kind of like Money in the Bank). They change that back to the MITB thing but it would ultimately be the free reign thing.

Benoit, Hall and Giant start us off. They’re not at ringside which is kind of stupid as you would be able to jump them as they come out in theory no? Benoit jumps Hall before Giant gets there. Not that we can see that as we need to see Giant’s very slow walk to the ring instead. Giant gets in very slowly which is rather smart before taking them both down with a clothesline.

Benoit tries to chop away and it doesn’t work at all. It’s almost hard to believe that Benoit would be world champion before Hall. Basically this is Giant and two other guys in there as he keeps dominating the entire time. Elbow drop on Hall so Benoit tries to jump Giant. No real attempts to throw anyone out but since you can win by pinfall that’s ok.

Sleeper doesn’t work for Hall and Giant gets a huge chokeslam to Benoit for only two. Hall saves, I guess out of fear of fighting Giant one on one. Giant busts out the claw of all things but a corner splash misses and Giant is gone first! That leaves two guys for Team WCW. The clock runs out on the first period and it’s Jarrett, Randy Savage and Luger. That puts five guys in the ring at the moment if you’re keeping score.

It’s more or less a battle royal at this point as Luger can’t gorilla press Savage out. Jeff avoids a Razor’s Edge and here come Mongo, Nash and Scott Steiner. No real effort to put anyone out right now as everyone is really just beating on each other. Belly to belly puts Nash down as we only have Hogan and Piper left. Nash gets a big boot and clothesline to Jarrett and he’s out. Jeff that is. Mongo gets backdropped out so Team Piper has just Benoit and Piper left.

Here are Hogan and Piper so everyone is out there now. Nash gets a big boot to Steiner to knock him out so Luger is all that’s left for WCW, Piper and Benoit for Piper and all of the NWO is left. Wait where’s Hogan? What a shock he’s going to come out last isn’t he? Oh there he is with Dennis Rodman. Piper is on the floor but not out. Scratch that as he’s back now. Seven people in at the moment.

Hogan, Piper and Savage are on the floor with Hogan kind of chilling and Piper choking Savage. The Outsiders beat up Benoit and everyone is finally in there at the same time. Hogan throws Piper through the ropes and they brawl on the floor a bit. After Savage jumps them in the aisle everyone goes back to the ring. In a HORRIBLY stupid looking moment, Piper is sent into the ropes but Rodman pulls it down to put him out. This would have looked passable if Piper didn’t JUMP OVER THE ROPE BEFORE IT WAS PULLED DOWN. And people wonder why they went out of business.

They keep brawling on the floor anyway and Savage helps as it’s the Outsider Edge for Benoit. The tag champs toss him out and Team Piper is gone. Luger is the only one left for WCW and he’s against technically five guys counting Rodman. The NWO literally stands around for a minute and a half posing before Nash sets him up for a powerbomb.

Luger escapes and racks Savage, clotheslines Nash and racks Hall to eliminate all three in under thirty seconds. And never mind as when he goes to rack Hogan, Savage gets the spraypaint from Rodman and pops Luger in the face with it so Hogan can get the winning pin. The NWO won a big match. I’m shocked too.

Rating: B-. The match was actually pretty good as it didn’t really get stupid and for a big multi-man tag, this actually worked. I fail to see why Rick wasn’t out there but still, pretty good stuff. The ending was obvious but it doesn’t ever drag, the stuff they did made perfect sense the entire time and it was kind of interesting. Shockingly good main event.

And now, more football at Slamboree 1997.

Reggie White vs. Steve McMichael

GREAT. This is EXACTLY what this show needs. Why is Reggie White fighting? Who knows? Who cares? My guess is because even though Mongo is a face here, he turned heel on Greene like 11 months ago and this is REVENGE. You would think that Greene would want revenge himself, but he’s in the main event with the guys that Mongo turned on him for. In theory White is a heel here, but naturally he’s treated as the hero against a Horseman in CHARLOTTE. He has his strength coach with him. This is White’s first match ever and they put him with STEVE FREAKING MCMICHAEL. Let’s get this over with.

Feeling out process to start as Mongo is definitely playing heel. They collide and both stumble. They do it again and Mongo stumbles a bit. White hooks a headlock and they ram again with Mongo going down this time. Steve draws the scrimmage line and they go at it with Mongo taking the leg out. They do it again and White jumps over him, then hits him in the side of the ribs which is a “clothesline.”

Mongo tries to leave but one of White’s teammates comes out to throw him back in. It’s a nose tackle from the Packers apparently. White gets some great height on a dropkick for two. The kick sucked but he was UP THERE. The fans cheer for Mongo but he keeps playing heel because that’s what was set before the match and White (not his fault) doesn’t know how to be a heel because HE ISN’T A WRESTLER.

Mongo hooks an armbar and shouts about how Jesus may have White’s soul (White was known as a very religious man) but Mongo has him right now. That gets McMichael sent to the floor and it’s more stalling. White hooks a headlock but Mongo escapes and clips him to take over. Side slam puts Reggie down but he comes back up quickly and puts the headlock on again before hitting a cross body for two.

Off to a nerve hold by White but McMichael hits him low and makes fun of church bells. Off to another leg lock and then a half crab. They ram each other into the corner a few times but Steve kicks the knee out. Figure four is countered and White shoves him down. He actually SELLS THE KNEE….or maybe he’s just tired. They slug it out in the corner and Reggie is all fired up.

There’s an atomic drop and a much better clothesline to put Mongo on the floor. Back in and McMichael takes over, only to have his suplex countered. He hits a splash but there’s no referee because of Debra. Briefcase is stolen by the other football player but Jeff Jarrett comes out and throws in another case and the shot with that gets the pin on White.

Rating: F. As in FIFTEEN MINUTES that this match got. Now before I get into this, I want to emphasize something: Reggie White was TRYING out there. He looked fired up, he was going the entire time, and there have been far worse celebrity performances in the past. That being said, the match was WAY too long and McMichael was the totally wrong person to try to carry him.

Think back to the 96 Great American Bash when it was Mongo/Greene debuting as a team. They faced Arn Anderson and Ric Flair, two of the best ring technicians ever. Flair and Arn walked then through a 20 minute match and it wasn’t that terrible. That being said, this was a HORRIBLE idea. You took basically a rookie and had him work a fifteen minute match with a football player. Horrible match, but more based on the people that put it together rather than the wrestlers.

Another Horsemen match from Nitro, June 30, 1997.

Steve McMichael/Ric Flair/Chris Benoit vs. Buff Bagwell/Masahiro Chono/Scott Norton

Bagwell and Flair start things off and we get a strutting competition. Buff pounds on Flair in the corner and it’s off to Mongo who has a dumb look on his face. Mongo gets caught in the wrong corner but he comes back with right hands to Chono. Back to Flair who pounds away for about five seconds before Benoit comes in to a nice reaction. Chono kicks him down but stops to argue with Flair, allowing Benoit to clothesline Chono down and hit the Swan Dive. Everything breaks down and Vincent comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as the whole match wasn’t even four minutes long and had the NWO DQ as required by WCW law. Also I’m not sure what was accomplished here at all, but on a shot this big I can understand the matches being this short. It isn’t fun to sit through but it’s understandable.

For reasons that still aren’t clear, Mongo would be given a shot at some gold at Clash of the Champions XXXV.

US Title: Steve McMichael vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett is a talented wrestler from Tennessee who wanted to be in the Horsemen but never fit. He won a match to become a Horseman which gave the team five members instead of the usual four. Jarrett and McMichael (nicknamed Mongo) argued almost every day and Mongo’s wife Debra got in the middle of things because she liked Jarrett and eventually helped him win the US Title in June. Mongo wants Debra to be in his corner because she’s his wife, but Debra just kept causing trouble which eventually (among other things) led to the downfall of the Horsemen.

Jeff speeds things up to start and keeps moving around Mongo while pointing to his head. Mongo misses again and Jeff ducks down into a three point stance to take out the challenger’s knee. Jeff lays across the ropes and struts as he was known to do but gets clotheslined down to the floor for getting on Mongo’s nerves.

We take a break and come back with Mongo being whipped into the steps. Debra chokes Mongo across the ropes to really rub in how evil she is. The fans don’t seem to care though. Back inside and Jarrett hooks a sleeper but Mongo reverses into one of his own. Debra gets the referee’s attention so Eddie Guerrero, another of Debra’s clients, comes out and accidentally blasts Jarrett in the back with the title belt, giving Mongo the pin and the title.

Rating: D. The wrestling wasn’t very good, the story wasn’t very good and the fans didn’t care. What else can you expect from something with all those things going wrong? Jarrett just didn’t work in WCW at all and the whole thing was bordering on being a disaster. Debra screwed up a lot of things in the Horsemen as well as they went from an elite group to petty arguments like you would see in high school.

Mongo’s wife Debra would turn on him and pick up Alex Wright as her new client. Here’s their showdown at World War III 1997.

Steve McMichael vs. Bill Goldberg

This is over Mongo’s Super Bowl ring that Goldberg stole at the previous PPV. Mongo comes out with a pipe Goldberg’s music hits and there’s no Goldberg. Mongo says this isn’t happening and says he can sneak up on people too. We go to the back and Goldberg is out cold. So no one noticed the big man in his underwear out cold on the concrete just behind the entry way? Mongo more or less gives an open challenge, resulting in this.

Steve McMichael vs. Alex Wright

Wright isn’t here because he wants to be but because Debra, Mongo’s estranged wife, brings him out and more or less makes his fight. Wright whips him with his jacket to start. Wright is from Germany so wouldn’t that be a foreign object? Mongo is like screw this and hammers away, sending Wright to the floor. He tries to leave but Debra more or less makes him come back.

Alex tries to fight and gets slammed down to the mat with ease. Mongo is barely breaking a sweat in this. Was there a reason they didn’t have Goldberg in this that I’m not getting? Debra’s voice is irritating to put it mildly. Wright takes over for a very little bit with chops but McMichael takes out the knee. Side slam sets up the Tombstone to end it. Total and complete squash and no rating here. Heenan asks Who’s Next for Mongo. Nah that’ll never catch on.

Here’s the showdown from Starrcade 1997.

Bill Goldberg vs. Steve McMichael

Steve “Mongo” McMichael is a former Horseman and NFL player, but he’s absolutely terrible in the ring. Goldberg is still undefeated at this point and would become a much bigger deal after this show is over. This is happening because Goldberg stole McMichael’s Super Bowl ring and they’ve attacked each other a few times since. The brawl is on in the aisle to start but Mongo’s offense isn’t having much effect. Goldberg literally picks him up and carries Mongo into the ring like a rag doll.

Goldberg picks up a table at ringside as the bell rings and the actual match begins. Mongo suplexes him down for two but a big shoulder tackle takes Steve down for two. We head to the floor where the table is leaning against the post. They fight around the ring with Mongo taking over before heading back inside, only to have Goldberg punch Mongo as Steve dives off the top. Goldberg hooks a quick leg lock and is toying with Mongo at this point.

The spear (the setup for Goldberg’s finisher) hits for two and Goldberg loads up the table on the floor. He tries to slam Mongo over the top and through the table but the referee breaks it up. A dropkick of all things puts Mongo down and out to the floor and we have to be getting close to done. Mongo gets back up onto the apron, only to be punched through the table. Back in and the Jackhammer (suplex but instead Goldberg turns it over into a powerslam) ends Mongo.

Rating: D. This was terrible but Goldberg’s day was coming. It was clear that Mongo just wasn’t any good as a wrestler and thankfully in 1998 he would be pushed WAY down the card and rarely ever have a big match again. The match itself was slow and plodding, but Goldberg would be pushed to the moon very quickly after this.

Brace yourselves. Nitro, February 9, 1998.

Glacier vs. Steve McMichael

Louie Spicolli has jumped into the commentary booth and is carrying bags he says belongs to “his friend” Larry. Still no word on where Larry is. Glacier tries to jump the Texan from behind but gets slugged down to the floor with ease. Back in and Glacier pounds away, only to send Mongo right back to the floor. They head back in again for Glacier to fire off his basic karate stuff followed by a snap suplex. Glacier jumps into an elbow, gets forearmed in the head a few times and the Mongo Spike (tombstone) ends this very quick.

The Horsemen would occasionally team up on TV, including on Nitro, June 29, 1998.

Chris Benoit/Steve McMichael vs. Harlem Heat

Benoit and Booker get us going which is the best idea for everyone. Stevie comes in before there’s any contact though and gets stomped down into the corner with ease. A clothesline out of the same corner takes Benoit down and it’s off to Booker who gets caught in a dragon screw leg whip. Tag brings in Mongo to pound on Booker with his generic power offense until he charges into a boot in the corner.

Back to Stevie for his own generic power offense as the crowd audibly dies. Booker comes back in for a spinebuster for two but Benoit has had enough. Everything breaks down without any tags and here’s Bret Hart with a chair to blast Booker in the back, giving Mongo (who didn’t see Bret) a pin.

Rating: D+. Simple explanation for this: Booker and Benoit good, Stevie and Mongo bad. That’s as basic as you can get here and the fans seemed to feel the same. I’m not even sure why Stevie doesn’t like Benoit in the first place. Is it just because Benoit offered to help Booker whenever he needed it? That’s why we’ve in the third week of feuding?

Mongo would even get some squashes. From Nitro on July 20, 1998.

Steve McMichael vs. Sick Boy

Hey look a match. Tony tells us that the wrecked car is a reference to Jay Leno, who always drives a different car to the Tonight Show. Tony: “That’s all it could be.” Lodi and Sick Boy jump Mongo on the floor and a clothesline gets two for Sick Boy. Mongo comes right back with a three point clothesline and the tombstone for the pin in about a minute.

The Horsemen would reunite in the fall, giving us even more pairings, such as this one on December 3, 1998 on Thunder.

Chris Benoit/Steve McMichael vs. Raven/Kanyon

Before the match Raven sits in the corner while Kanyon grabs a mic. Kanyon yells at him for putting his head through a window tonight and talks about Raven’s mother. The fans actually get tricked as Kanyon asks who is NOT better than Kanyon before we go to Arn Anderson leading the Horsemen to the ring. Benoit runs Kanyon over to start but gets caught in a sweet rollup for twp. They trade wristlocks until Kanyon takes him down and chokes away out of anger at Raven.

Kanyon stops to call the depressed Raven an idiot, allowing Mongo to run him over out of a three point stance. Steve misses a boot in the corner though and gets caught in something like a neckbreaker. The Horsemen take over with Benoit chopping the skin off Kanyon’s chest before stomping him down for good measure. Raven doesn’t do much so Benoit goes over to yell at him before Kanyon gets double teamed some more.

A backbreaker gets two for Chris but he charges into a boot in the corner. Not that it really matters as he takes Kanyon down with a dragon screw leg whip, only to miss the Swan Dive. Raven still won’t tag so Kanyon hits a powerbomb into a faceplant for two as Raven walks away after being tagged. That’s a countout as Benoit puts Kanyon in the Crossface.

Rating: C+. The idea here worked pretty well with Raven’s downward spiral into depression continues with him walking away from his only friend. Other than that the Benoit stuff was very good, but Mongo just wasn’t working out there for the most part. Thankfully he won’t be around much anymore.

Here’s a match that should have happened years earlier. Nitro, January 25, 1999.

Hollywood Hogan/Scott Steiner/Kevin Nash vs. Horsemen

This has A LOT of time, as in nearly half an hour. Hogan is still listed as a Presidential candidate. Before the match, Nash gets a cheap pop and Steiner says that Kimberly has been flirting with him out back. If she wants to tease him, she better be ready to please him. Hogan is glad that there aren’t any WCW or Ric Flair fans out here because they stink very badly. He’ll take care of Ric at SuperBrawl because Flair is the first one being hunted by the Pack.

After a break we get the Horsemen’s entrance and the opening bell. It’s a brawl to start of course and Benoit gets to beat up Hogan in one of the only times they ever had contact. Flair goes after Hogan but Nash makes the save. The NWO clears the ring to start as the announcers bring up Sting for the second or third time tonight. It’ll be nice to have him back. This turns into a discussion of Alex Wright no showing the show tonight.

Benoit and Steiner get things going with the power man running him over and kicking Benoit in the head. Scott runs into a boot in the corner though and Benoit fires off more right hands. A dropkick sends Steiner outside and Benoit holds up the fingers to Nash and Hogan. Kevin comes in for a knee to the ribs but Benoit runs him into the corner and chops away.

Off to McMichael for a slam, setting up the Swan Dive but Hogan makes a save. Steiner gets in a shot from the apron and Nash hits the big boot to take over. Hogan comes in and man alive is it strange to see him in there against Benoit. It doesn’t last long though as Hogan clotheslines Benoit down and suckers Flair in before hiding behind Steiner. A non-existent tag brings in Steiner for a belly to belly and two on Chris. Nash comes back in for the side slam and it’s back to Hogan with a belly to back suplex.

We take a break and come back with Hogan still on Benoit. Again he suckers Flair in but tags Scott to get in a few shots on the Canadian. The fans want Flair as Nash slams Benoit and elbows Ric in the face. Everything breaks down and Benoit gets caught in the Tree of Woe for some choking by Nash. Hogan whips Benoit with the weightlifting belt and suplexes him for another two count.

Choking ensues and it’s back to Nash for the foot choke in the corner. Nash misses a big boot in the corner but Steiner breaks up a hot tag attempt. We hit the bearhug on Benoit and he seems to pass out. Hogan wants the pin but can only get two. An elbow gets the same but the legdrop misses, allowing Benoit to FINALLY tag Flair. Everything breaks down and Bischoff comes in with a foam finger wrapped around a 2×4. Flair gets Hogan in the Figure Four but Nash nails him with the board for the DQ.

Rating: B-. This was the six man formula done very well and the match was very good as a result. Benoit is an excellent face in peril and he had the crowd going nuts for the tag to Flair. I’m fine with a messy finish here as you don’t want to have a champion do a job before a pay per view. If WWE could get that through their heads, a lot of my headaches would go away.

Mongo would leave with a whimper. Here’s his last WCW match on February 8, 1999’s Nitro.

Outsiders vs. Ric Flair/Steve McMichael

It’s a brawl to start and the Outsiders are knocked to the floor. Hall and Flair get things going with Flair chopping him into the corner. Scott comes back with some right hands in the corner to no effect but Hall nails a clothesline to put both guys down. Flair elbows him in the jaw and goes up, only to be slammed back down. It’s off to Nash but Ric is able to tag in Mongo, who stomps on Nash’s foot. Both Outsiders are slammed down but Nash kicks McMichael in the face to take over.

Tony brings up Sting again as Mongo gets double teamed in the corner. Hall hits the fall away slam for two before putting on the sleeper. Mongo jawbreaks his way to freedom and the ice cold tag brings in Flair. Ric beats up Hall with ease and a few knee crusher set up the Figure Four. The hold stays on for a good while but we cut to Hogan knocking on the bathroom door. Bischoff hands him the mop bucket that he poured the bleach into earlier and says that this should work.

Hogan leaves with the bucket and all of the backstage workers are out cold on the floor. Back to the arena and Hall is out of the hold without much damage. A shoulder puts both he and Flair down as Hogan comes out with the bucket. He throws the bleach in it at Flair but hits Mongo to blind him and the match is thrown out.

Rating: D. This was Mongo’s final match and thank goodness for that. The guy dragged down a match between three guys that shouldn’t have their stuff dragged down like this. The fans did not care about him when he was in there and after two and a half years, there’s really no excuse for him to not get any better at all.

Mongo just wasn’t very good. He was given all the help they could give him, but there just wasn’t enough there to make him work. I’ll give him this though: to come from a football career into this spot and do even close to decent is impressive. He could have gotten a lot of good out of being in developmental for a few years but instead he was thrust onto the main show and it never worked out. Great theme song though.

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Make some noise. Today is Sean Waltman.

Light Heavyweight Title: Jerry Lynn vs. Lightning Kid

This is 2/3 falls and Kid is defending. There are special rules here: you have to win with a set finisher or the referee won’t count. The Kid has to use something called the Lightning Strike and Lynn has to use the sleeper. That’s very different. Kid grabs a headlock to start before they trade some arm work. Lynn comes back with a springboard armdrag to escape and it’s time for a test of strength.

Kid breaks Lynn’s bridge but the referee won’t count. These stipulations are going to get annoying in a hurry. Jerry grabs an amateur hold and agrees to let Kid try the same, earning him a kick to the ribs. A headscissors sends Jerry to the floor and a big dive crushes him again. Back in and Kid misses a guillotine legdrop and Jerry slaps on a quick sleeper for the first fall.

We take a break and come back with Lynn down off something we didn’t see. Kid gets rolled up but it doesn’t count either. Some kicks have Lynn in trouble but Lynn backdrops him out to the floor. A spinning cross body from the apron to the floor crushes Kid but he comes back with a tombstone out of nowhere for the pin. Apparently that’s the Lightning Strike.

Another break and we come back Kid hitting a corner dropkick but missing a charge. Lynn escapes the Lightning Strike and hits a cross body for no count. The referee goes down and Scott Anthony comes in to knock out Lynn but hits Kid with a chain by mistake. Lynn puts on a quick sleeper for the win and the title.

Rating: C+. This was the top indy feud at this point and it holds up pretty well over twenty years later. The stipulations really hurt here and it brings the match down a bit, but at least the spots didn’t hurt things too much. The Kid was a heel here despite not being big enough to make the tombstone look that effective. Good match.

The Kid would head to the WWF under various names, such as the Kamizake and Lightning Kid. He eventually went with just The Kid and looked to get squashed by Razor Ramon on Raw, May 17, 1993.

The Kid vs. Razor Ramon

Razor shoves him down to start and Savage says this is as good as Kid has ever done. Some hard chops have the Kid in trouble and a HUGE beal sends him flying. An abdominal stretch sets up the fall away slam and Kid looks dead. Back up and the Kid avoids a charge in the corner before hitting a moonsault press, with his knee smacking Razor in the head, for the pin in what still may be the biggest upset in WWE history.

One of the Kid’s first big pay per view matches was at Survivor Series 1993.

Team IRS vs. Team Razor Ramon

IRS, Adam Bomb, Diesel, Rick Martel
Razor Ramon, 1-2-3 Kid, Marty Jannetty, Mr. Perfect

IRS and Ramon are feuding over Razor’s IC Title, Martel was the guy Ramon beat for the title, Diesel and Adam Bomb are just there to fill in spots, Jannetty and Kid are a semi-regular tag team and Perfect….isn’t here. Ramon talks about Perfect leaving (his back messed up again and he just kind of left for five months) but he’s got a treat for us. He’s got a surprise partner and it’s……RANDY SAVAGE! Heenan LOSES IT and the crowd does too. This is when Savage wanted to murder Crush, who is in the main event tonight.

Heenan apparently called Perfect no showing this and Vince says Heenan was right for once. Bobby: “FOR ONCE???” Oh yes Bobby is feeling it tonight. Ramon and Martel start things off with Rick working on the arm. They fight for the arm and hit the mat for a bit before popping back up. Razor slaps him in the face and rolls through a cross body for two. Martel gets caught in the fallaway slam (BIG pop for that) for two.

Razor hits a pair of atomic drops and a clothesline for two. Off to Adam Bomb who shoves Ramon into the corner with ease. They collide and Razor is knocked down in something which shouldn’t surprise anyone. They have a test of strength with Bomb controlling again before Ramon fights up and suplexes Bomb down.

Martel tries to save but elbows Bomb by mistake. Harvey Whippleman (Bomb’s manager) gets up on the apron and is knocked down, causing a big fight between IRS’ team. Ramon’s team, somehow thinking coherently given how many drugs must be in them, actually uses common sense and lets them fight. We get things settled down and it’s the Kid vs. Bomb. Kid tries a sunset flip and Bomb (about 6’8 and 300lbs) is like boy please.

Off to Diesel who throws Kid around even harder. Who thought it was a good idea to put the Kid in there against the biggest and strongest opponents? A gutwrench powerbomb from Diesel leaves Kid laying and a big boot does the same. Kid finally hits a spin kick and it’s off to Savage who destroys the entire team, including sending Bomb into Diesel. A slam puts Diesel down and the flying elbow makes it 4-3. Write that down as you may never see Nash do another clean job.

Martel charges in and rams Savage face first into the buckle. Since it’s 1993, Martel’s offense has almost no effect and Savage takes over. Off to IRS who has a bit better luck as he takes Savage into the corner but gets cross bodied for two. Back to Ramon who works on the arm but as he hits the ropes, Martel hits Razor in the back to slow the Bad Guy (Razor’s nickname) down.

Bomb comes back in to power Razor around a bit but it’s quickly back to Martel. Make that IRS who works on Razor’s back. We hit the chinlock and the heels switch a few times without tagging. Off to Macho Man again who knees IRS into the corner. A slam looks to set up the Elbow but here comes Crush. Savage sees him and immediately goes after him but is sent back into the ring and rolled up by IRS for the pin and elimination.

Savage chases Crush into the back and looks for him in the locker rooms as the match is still going on. Savage doesn’t find him so we’ll continue this game later. We come back to the ring to see Adam Bomb choking away on Jannetty and stomping him in the corner. Martel hooks an abdominal stretch for a few seconds but a corner charge hits the post and it’s back to Ramon.

Razor pounds away on IRS and hits a chokeslam followed by the Razor’s Edge for the pin and the 3-2 advantage. Everything breaks down and as Razor loads up the Edge on Martel, IRS hits him in the ribs with his briefcase. Ramon rolls to the floor and gets counted out to tie things up again. So it’s Jannetty/1-2-3 Kid vs. Martel/Bomb. The Kid gets sent to the floor and slammed down by Bomb who hits a slingshot clothesline to take the Kid down back inside.

Off to Martel as the Kid is in a lot of trouble. Martel drops some knees on the back for two as Vince says the Kid has a lot of heart. Heenan: “THEN KICK HIM IN THE HEART!” Martel jumps into a right hand to the ribs and there’s the tag to Jannetty who cleans house. Back to the Kid way too soon for a double back elbow and a sunset flip to eliminate Martel. Kid immediately tags in Jannetty who sunset flips Bomb for the pin ten seconds after Martel was eliminated. REALLY hot ending here.

Rating: B. I really liked this match as it was fast paced and a ton of fun. If you cut about five minutes from this, it’s a classic. Having Jannetty and the Kid be the survivors was a very nice surprise and it gave the fans something to cheer for. Really liked this one and it puts the show off on the right foot.

If you ever need proof that a four minute match can be amazing, here’s King of the Ring 1994.

Semi-Finals: Owen Hart vs. 1-2-3 Kid

Owen looks almost chipper here. Kid is injured as heck to say the least. I’m not all that into this announcer. He was the guy at Mania 10 and I just didn’t like him that much. Gorilla says Kid was hammered earlier. How appropriate of a line that is. Macho recaps “for those who just tuned in”. Well ok then. Usually what I’ll do is watch a few minutes of a match then pause it or type during downtime like a chinlock or something like that.

This was a four minute match, and I think they weren’t going after each other for about 4 seconds in their longest stretch. This was on FIRE and was more or less a lucha libre style match. I’ve always thought Owen was a bit overrated but this was awesome. Kid was awesome too as I still say he was better against smaller guys. This was awesome with Owen winning with the Sharpshooter. Kid taps, but we don’t know what that means yet so he has to say he gives up which is just odd to see.

Rating: A. This was short but awesome. This style was so far ahead of its time that I don’t think anyone else on the roster, other than MAYBE Shawn could have pulled off something like this. Why in the world do we have to have Piper vs. Lawler take up 12 minutes when we could have more of this?

Back to Survivor Series with the Kid trying to go back to back as an underdog.

Teamsters vs. Bad Guys

Diesel, Shawn Michaels, Owen Hart, Jim Neidhart, Jeff Jarrett
Razor Ramon, 1-2-3 Kid, British Bulldog, Headshrinkers

Diesel and Shawn are tag champions but they’ve having issues. Owen and Neidhart are a semi-regular tag team. This version of the Headshrinkers is Fatu and Sione, more famous as Rikishi and the Barbarian. Razor is IC Champion. I didn’t know that for sure but it’s the mid 90s so I took a shot in the dark. Shawn keeps slipping in front of Diesel to steal the spotlight. That’ll become important later.

It takes awhile to decide who starts before we get Kid vs. Owen. This should be good. The fans chant 1-2-3 which sounds something like RVD. Before there’s any contact it’s off to Neidhart which won’t be as interesting. Neidhart hits a shoulder block to start but gets dropkicked down. Another shoulder gives the Anvil control though and it’s off to Jarrett. Things speed up a bit and Jarrett loses the advantage Neidhart got him.

Off to Sione, who is someone I’ve talked about before but I’ll do it again here. This guy continuously had work for nearly fifteen years, which is impressive when you consider how basic the main character he played was. The guy was always around though other than in the dying days of WCW. Anyway here he gets dropkicked in the back but powers out of the cover with ease.

Off to Owen who wants the Bulldog. Davey comes in to a big ovation and they trade insane counters to wristlocks. Owen gets catapulted into the good guy corner, which is actually the Bad Guy corner, but the Bad Guys are the good guys in the match if that makes sense. Bulldog gets kicked in the face by Hart and it’s off to Neidhart for a double clothesline. Then Bulldog hits a double clothesline on Hart and Anvil, followed by the delayed vertical on Neidhart.

Fatu hits a top rope headbutt for no cover. Instead he tries to take his own boot off because he’s used to wrestling barefoot. Jarrett comes in and is immediately powerslammed before it’s off to Razor. Jeff immediately bails and it’s Razor vs….Jarrett still. Double J takes Razor to the mat and MESSES WITH HIS HAIR! Oh he’s so EVIL! A big right hand by Razor staggers Jeff and a clothesline puts him on the floor. This is a very hot crowd so far.

Back in and Jarrett escapes an atomic drop and punches Razor in the face to get himself in even more trouble. Off to the Kid who Razor gives a fall away slam to send him straight into Jeff in a cool move. Jeff hooks an abdominal stretch with some cheating from Shawn. That eventually gets caught and the Kid hooks a stretch of his own which doesn’t last long. Off to Fatu vs. Owen but all of the Canadian offense results in Samoan dancing.

A blind tag is made to Diesel and it’s a clothesline and a Jackknife to take out Fatu. Kid runs in and hits a dropkick but a top rope sunset flip is easily countered into a chokebomb. Jackknife finishes Kid a second later. Here’s Sione to pound away but he can only stagger the big man. ANOTHER Jackknife makes it 5-2. Diesel put out three guys in 70 seconds. Bulldog comes in and pounds away but a big boot puts Smith on the floor where he brawls with Owen to a countout.

So it’s Ramon vs. all five guys and he starts with Diesel. A discus punch puts Diesel down as does a middle rope bulldog. Diesel gets a clothesline in to take Razor down and Shawn screams for a Jackknife. The future Outsiders slug it out but Diesel drops him on the buckle in a snake eyes. Ramon comes back with a slam and calls for the Edge but Diesel easily backdrops him down. A big boot puts Razor down and there’s the Jackknife.

NOW Shawn wants in but he asks Diesel to hold Razor. Those of you paying attention should know what’s coming, and there it is as Shawn superkicks Diesel by mistake. Apparently this has happened a few times before and Diesel is MAD. Diesel destroys the rest of his team and stalks Shawn up the aisle. Ramon is the only one left in the ring and somehow the countout eliminates EVERYONE on the Teamsters to make Razor the sole survivor.

Rating: C. This was all angle and not much wrestling. This was the big face turn for Diesel which would result in the world title incredibly soon after this. It was a face turn that made sense too as he was tired of Shawn telling him what to do and getting hurt as a result, so he gave up and went after Shawn. Ticked off giants are very fun, so the first few months of Diesel Power were fun stuff. It was the other eight or nine months that stopped being fun.

Razor and Kid would get a Tag Team Title shot at In Your House 4.

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. 1-2-3 Kid/Razor Ramon

The Gunns are defending while the challengers aren’t getting along all that well. They swear they’re fine though. The challengers both slick back their hair instead of shaking hands with the Gunns. It’s the Kid starting things off with Billy and is easily shoved down. Since power doesn’t work, the Kid opts for speed with a leap frog and an arm drag but Billy comes back with an armdrag of his own, giving us a stalemate.

Off to Razor to crank on Bart’s shoulder, only to be taken down by a fireman’s carry. Now it’s Bart working on a wristlock but Razor comes back with a big right hand, sending him to the ropes. With the referee and Razor’s backs turned, the Kid pulls the ropes down, sending Bart out to the floor. Back in and it’s off to the Kid legally with a dropkick to take Bart down again. Some running legdrops keep Bart down and it’s back to Razor for some power. There’s the fallaway slam and it’s already back to the Kid for some kicks.

Razor comes in again but Bart scores with a clothesline as Dean Douglas is watching in the back. Apparently Razor will be the one getting an Intercontinental Title shot against the new champion Douglas later tonight. A double tag brings in Billy and the Kid with Billy cleaning house and getting two off an elbow drop. Back to Bart for some backbreakers but Razor comes in to break up the pin.

The Gunns hit a nice dropkick/suplex combo for two but the Kid avoids a Stinger Splash in the corner. The referee goes over to check on Razor so Bart pulls Billy on top of the kid for two. He gets caught, so Razor comes in and puts Kid on top of Billy for two. Now it’s a hot tag off to Ramon who cleans house with right hands and the Razor’s Edge to Billy, but the Kid asks for the tag. The Kid takes forever to cover and gets cradled for the pin out of nowhere to keep the belts on the cowboys.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but the match was mainly about the angle at the end. Kid just wasn’t working as a good guy for the most part so the turn and feud with Razor was the logical ending. The Gunns weren’t great champions but they were the best that the company had at this point. Not a bad match here though.

How about three in a row? From Survivor Series 1995 with the Kid now a heel after turning on Ramon.

BodyDonnas vs. Underdogs

Skip, Rad Radford, Tom Prichard, 1-2-3 Kid
Barry Horowitz, Hakushi, Marty Jannetty, Bob Holly

The idea here is people that care about their looks vs. jobbers. Horowitz scored one of the biggest upsets ever over Skip. Jannetty needs no introduction as a jobber. The Kid is a mystery partner who is freshly heel here. By freshly I mean this is his first match as a heel. Razor comes out to go after the Kid who screwed him over on Raw on Monday. Yeah Raw is finally a big deal at this point too. Razor is IC Champion of course.

Prichard and Jannetty start things off and Marty has to fight out of the heel corner. The Kid holds him there but Prichard hits Kid with a knee by mistake. The BodyDonnas huddle on the floor until it’s off to Radford (Louie Spicolli) vs. Marty. Radford is called BodyDonna in training because he’s pretty fat. Here’s Holly to face Rad and he takes Radford over with a rana. Radford tries the same thing but gets powerbombed down.

Off to Hakushi who is pretty freshly face I believe. He gets behind Radford but walks into a spinebuster. Off to the Kid who hits a top rope splash on Hakushi for two and it’s off to Captain Skip. Hakushi escapes a belly to back superplex and it’s back to Holly who speeds things up. Prichard comes in as the fans want Barry. A powerbomb counters a rana from Holly but Tom misses a moonsault. Holly hits a top rope cross body for the elimination. Skip immediately comes in and rolls up Holly to tie it back up.

Hakushi comes in again and trips up Skip before elbowing him in the face. A Vader Bomb hits knees though and Skip gets control back. A shot to the chest takes Skip down so here’s the Kid again. The fans want Barry but it’s Hakushi taking over with a Muta Elbow in the corner. A top rope shoulder takes Kid down for two but Hakushi misses a springboard splash. Razor is watching in the back. Kid kicks Hakushi in the back of the head and Radford gets the easy pin.

Barry comes in and gets pounded down and the fans almost explode. Naturally this match would be the end of his push because that’s how it works in the WWF. Radford and the Kid double team Horowitz but he comes back with a jawbreaker to Radford. Skip tells Rad not to pin Barry yet because Skip wants to get the pin himself.

Radford hits a Hennig neck snap as Hennig is stunned at the reaction to Horowitz. Rad stops to exercise and gets cradled by Barry for the pin. It’s Skip/The Kid vs. Barry/Marty. Horowitz gets distracted by a double team and the Kid dropkicks him in the back, setting up a legdrop for the elimination. So it’s Marty down two on one but he avoids a charging Skip in the corner.

A sunset flip out of nowhere gets two for Marty and the Rocker Dropper (a fancy Fameasser) puts Skip down and Marty goes up. Sunny crotches him (it’s 1995 so I can still call Marty lucky for that) but Skip gets countered into a Superbomb (powerbomb off the top, which would be Skip’s finisher in ECW) for the elimination. It’s one on one now and a missile dropkick gets two for the Kid. A moonsault misses Marty though and they’re both down. Jannetty dropkicks him down for two and here comes Sid. A Rocker Dropper takes the Kid down for two but Sid guillotines Marty on the ropes and Kid steals the pin.

Rating: B. This was a good match to open things up with, especially since I don’t think anyone would have been able to buy Barry Horowitz captaining anything but an opening match team. Other than that though, the action here was good and it set the Kid up as a somewhat big time heel which is what he needed so soon after a turn. Good opener.

It was off to WCW after this with the Kid being renamed Syxx as the sixth member of the NWO. Here he is at Halloween Havoc 1996.

Chris Jericho vs. Syxx

The commentators having to ignore the NWO being cheered is always funny. Patrick is the referee again which has to be leading somewhere. This is before the neck injury for Waltman so he’s incredibly fast here. The Dungeon of Doom is at ringside. This is a very fast paced match as we talk about Jericho’s dad for no apparent reason.

This is one of those matches that is hard to comment on as it’s pretty good. Waltman could go against small guys and this is no exception. It wasn’t until he because X-Pac and became the giant killer or whatever that he became so annoying. We crank it up after a good deal of Syxx dominance.

Tony and Heenan get in an argument over whether or not Nick Patrick made a fast count. Oh that’s funny. Allegedly he’s counting slow for Jericho and there may be something to that. Dusty wants him arrested. Even Heenan gets on him for being slow. Ok now you know it’s serious. Jericho gets what should have been a five or so and yells at Patrick about it. He walks into a spinkick for the regular speed pin.

Rating: B-. This was about Jericho vs. Patrick which would happen at WW3 and would be the first match where an NWO guy would lose on PPV since their inception. This was very fast paced and fun though, but the referee thing was just annoying by the end of things. Other than that it was good though.

He would get a Cruiserweight Title shot at SuperBrawl VII.

Cruiserweight Title: Syxx vs. Dean Malenko

Syxx has the belt itself but Dean is champion. There’s a huge space between the entrance and the aisle. Dean is all ticked off to start and hits a leg lariat for two but pulls Syxx up. Brainbuster gets two. Powerslam gets the same as this has been one sided for the first few minutes. Syxx gets caught in the Tree of Woe as this aggressive Dean is kind of cool. Doesn’t suit him at all but it’s kind of cool.

Cloverleaf doesn’t work so a cross body sends both guys to the floor. Back in the ring and Syxx finally gets a kick to the face to take Dean down. Syxx hits that three kick combination of his in the corner to set up a Bronco Buster. We hear about Barry Bonds coming to San Francisco which doesn’t mean much but the match is going kind of slowly and I need something to talk about.

Sleeper goes on for a bit as Malenko counters with a belly to back for two. Dean’s neck is messed up so Bobby suggests neckbreakers or piledrivers. Syxx goes with a brainbuster instead and follows with a guillotine legdrop for two. Love that move. Back to the sleeper as we talk about Hogan and Piper now and how everyone is concerned about Piper. Dean throws on a sleeper for irony I guess but they ram into each other and down they go.

The announcers debate trains for awhile and how they crash which is annoying as my grandmother is currently heading to Washington via train. Syxx gets crotched on the top but reverses a belly to back off the top into a cross body to put Dean down. Syxx goes for the belt and Eddie IMMEDIATELY sprints out to stop him. Tug of war winds up sending the belt into Dean’s head for the pin and the NWO’s third title.

Rating: C. Pretty good match here which set up Eddie vs. Dean later I think. This was fine with the Cruiserweight formula of mat based guy (well kind of) being a heel vs. the fast paced guy (again kind of) being the face. Nothing very good here and not the best choice for an opener but I’ve seen far worse before.

We’ll wrap up WCW with WarGames at Fall Brawl 1997.

Team WCW vs. Team NWO

WCW: Ric Flair, Chris Benoit, Steve McMichael, Curt Hennig
NWO: Kevin Nash, Konnan, Syxx, Buff Bagwell

WarGames here and here are the rules for the two of you that have somehow never seen this match. You start off with a guy from each team for five minutes. After that a coin toss will be won by the heels and they get an advantage for two minutes. After those two minutes are up another person comes in from the team that loss the coin toss. You alternate like that every two minutes until all eight are in and then it’s first submission (no pins) wins it. Also in a double cage of course.

This is more or less a revenge feud for the Horsemen after the parody that the NWO did on Nitro which was so dead on that it was hilarious while being totally disrespectful. The teams are at ringside here which would go back and forth. Not that it means anything but these entrances are long so I need to fill in space. Also this is the final traditional WarGames match, meaning it’s more or less destined to suck.

No Hennig here due to the beatdown earlier. Bagwell vs. Benoit to start. This should be a massacre and very fun. This is for five minutes remember. Tony brings up a great point: is there NO ONE else in WCW that could be out there? They waste like thirty seconds before Bagwell slaps Benoit. This is young and violent Benoit so how do you think this is going to go for Bagwell?

All Benoit here since Bagwell kind of, uh, sucks. Swan Dive misses so Bagwell unleashes his variety of stomps and sends Benoit into the cage. Bagwell is really weak on offense here. Surprisingly enough they haven’t messed with the clock yet. They’ve stayed in the same ring here for the most part. Bagwell backdrops him into the cage and yells at Flair a bit. Shockingly enough: the NWO wins the toss. Literally, no face team EVER won a coin toss in WCW. Ever. Not even once.

Benoit takes over with about 20 seconds to go and it’s Konnan to give them the 2-1 advantage. Benoit seems to like the idea of being in trouble and beats them both up. This lasts two minutes remember. Somehow being down 2-1 makes Benoit do better for a minute or so until the numbers finally catch up to him. Mongo, US Champion at the time, comes in and beats up everyone.

Benoit is perfectly fine. I mean they’ve only beaten on him for seven minutes so far so do you really expect him to be beaten already? The Horsemen dominate for most of the 2-2 period and it’s Syxx in next. And that results badly for him as he gets destroyed by Benoit. Total star making performance by him so far. Crossface to Syxx who taps but it doesn’t matter yet.

The NWO finally fights back about halfway through this period. With 40 seconds left here’s Hennig with his arm in a sling. Oh just have him wearing the NWO shirt already. Flair comes in and cleans house. Nash comes in after the Horsemen dominate for a good while. He dominates the entire team and Bagwell couldn’t be happier. HUGE We Want Sting chant goes up but you all know the ending already don’t you? If not, GO READ A FREAKING BOOK PEOPLE.

The Horsemen take over again before the period ends and here’s Hennig. Flair has Syxx in the Figure Four and there goes the sling on Hennig. He pulls out handcuffs and yep there it is. Seriously, did ANYONE buy that he wasn’t turning here? Tony of course calls it this huge charade and no one but him agrees.

Benoit is cuffed to the cage as is Mongo. Again, IS THERE NO ONE ELSE IN ALL OF WCW??? Flair is destroyed and a referee brings a microphone into the ring. Nash offers the Horsemen the chance to surrender and they all say no. After a long beatdown they give Mongo the chance to surrender to save Flair from having the door slammed on his head. Mongo gives in and they slam the door anyway. This would results in a huge blood feud between Hennig and Flair and Tony walking off the show the next night. The sight of Flair writhing in pain and holding his head ends the show.

Rating: C. Not the strongest WarGames to say the least, namely due to the Horsemen never being in trouble at all for the most part and the really stupid ending. That being said, WarGames is in itself inherently cool and this is no exception. Benoit looked AWESOME in there but of course he would never go anywhere in WCW until he was about to leave. Definitely not the best WarGames, but the Benoit dominance was a cool visual.

After a neck injury, Syxx would head back to the WWF as X-Pac and join D-Generation X. One of his first solo feuds was with Jeff Jarrett. Here they are at Summerslam 1998.

Jeff Jarrett vs. X-Pac

Hair vs. Hair here and Jarrett has Southern Justice (the Godwinns) with him. They combined to cut Howard Finkel’s hair earlier tonight so he’s in Pac’s corner in case the ending wasn’t obvious yet. Commissioner Sgt. Slaughter throws Southern Justice out before we get going. In something I never thought I’d see, Fink does the crotch chop. Jeff jumps Pac from behind but a spinwheel kick and a clothesline puts Jarrett on the floor. A big dive takes him out again and the crowd is into X-Pac.

Back in and Jeff hits a pair of great dropkicks to send Pac out to the floor. Pac is crotched against the post and Jarrett pounds away in the ring. A snap powerslam gets two but Pac comes back with a tornado DDT for two. The crowd continues to be white hot as Finkel plays cheerleader. Some kicks in the corner have Jarrett in trouble but he grabs a quick sleeper to stop X-Pac’s momentum.

As is always the case when Jarrett puts someone in a sleeper, the other guy hooks a quick sleeper on Jeff but gets reversed into the corner. Pac misses a cross body out of the corner to give Jarrett two and it’s Figure Four time. The hold stays on for a very long time but Pac gets twoo close to the ropes, making Jeff let go to put it on again. The break lets Pac kick him into the corner before taking Jeff’s head off with a spinwheel kick. There’s the Bronco Buster and X-Pac rolls through a high cross body for two.

A Jarrett leapfrog is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two and Howard is starting to panic. Another Bronco Buster attempt is countered by a low blow but Jarrett stops to hit the Fink, allowing the X Factor to connect for a VERY close two. Southern Justice is back but Dennis Knight (Phineas) drops a guitar, giving Pac the shot to Jarrett for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it went a bit too long for what they were trying to do. If Southern Justice could come out at the end, where were they for the other ten minutes of the match? The haircut was the move that Jarrett needed as he changed his entire character from Tennessee Guy to chauvinist pig soon after this.

X-Pac would go after the European Title in a feud with D’Lo Brown. Here’s one of their title matches at In Your House 25.

European Title: X-Pac vs. D’Lo Brown

They’ve been trading the title back and forth for awhile and Brown is defending tonight. They talk trash to each other to start until Brown takes him down with a shoulder block. Off to a wristlock by the champion to take X-Pac down to the mat but he fights up and hits some quick kicks to take over. Brown comes right back with a clothesline (popular move tonight) for two before dropping some elbows.

X-Pac gets taken to the corner for some chops but he avoids a splash and hiptosses Brown to the mat. Some kicks in the corner put D’Lo down but he blocks the Bronco Buster with a well placed boot. We hit the chinlock by the champion for a good while before D’Lo kicks him in the face for two more. A running powerbomb puts X-Pac down again but just like last time D’Lo takes too long to cover and only gets two. X-Pac blocks a superplex and hits a high cross body but Brown rolls through for another near fall.

Back to the chinlock for a good while before X-Pac fights up again. Brown sidesteps a charge into the corner though and drops a middle rope elbow for two. A backbreaker sets up a Texas cloverleaf on the challenger but X-Pac slips through D’Lo’s legs to escape. The fans are all over D’Lo here as he goes up, only to miss a front flip legdrop. X-Pac makes his comeback with a kick to the face and a flipping clothesline to set up the Bronco Buster.

Chyna gets in a cheap shot to Brown’s head for two but the referee is taken out a few seconds later. Here’s Mark Henry who has recently filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against Chyna. Brown uses the distraction to hit X-Pac in the face with the title belt as Henry throws the referee in for a two count. Another powerbomb puts X-Pac down for two but Brown goes up top and dives into the X-Factor to give X-Pac the title back.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t too bad but it wasn’t as good as the previous match. The ending didn’t work for me for the most part as it was too overbooked and there was no reason for D’Lo to dive forward like he did other than to dive into the X-Factor. It’s not bad but these guys have feuded long enough now. Hopefully this wraps it up.

HHH would eventually turn on DX and join the Corporation. X-Pac was livid and wanted revenge at In Your House 28.

HHH vs. X-Pac

This is all about revenge after HHH turned heel to join the Corporation at Wrestlemania, costing X-Pac his European Title match with Shane McMahon at the same time. HHH has a new rock song as his theme music here which didn’t last long. He gets in a cheap shot to start but X-Pac takes him down with right hands and chops. A kick to the face puts HHH down again and they fight to the floor with the fans all over X-Pac, who is the good guy here.

Back in and HHH wildly throws X-Pac over the top to the floor but a Chyna distraction accidentally lets X-Pac get in a shot to HHH’s ribs. Back in and X-Pac scores with some kicks in the corner but can’t hit the Bronco Buster. Things slow down a bit until HHH realizes X-Pac’s chronically bad neck is hurting again. HHH goes on a stomping spree before getting two off a neckbreaker. We hit a front facelock for a few moments before HHH drops some knees on X-Pac’s neck for two.

HHH hooks a dragon sleeper to stay on the neck before a reverse DDT and the facebuster get two. X-Pac rolls to the floor and gets dropped face first onto the barricade by Chyna. Some elbows to the neck keep HHH in control before it’s back to the front facelock. Now it’s a sleeper hold to keep the match at a slow pace until X-Pac fights up and grabs a sleeper of his own. HHH rams him into the buckle to escape but X-Pac comes back with a belly to back suplex. A pair of spinwheel kicks put HHH down but X-Pac can’t follow up on a flipping clothesline.

X-Pac pulls off a tornado DDT for a near fall as Chyna gets up on the apron. The distraction lets X-Pac get two more off a low blow and they head outside. HHH is whipped into the steps but the referee is bumped. Back inside and the X-Factor puts HHH out but Chyna hits X-Pac low. This brings out Kane to chokeslam both HHH and Chyna and put them both in position for Bronco Busters. X-Pac busts both of them but HHH is able to get up and Pedigree him for the pin.

Rating: B. Solid match here with a nice story throughout the whole thing. The interference makes sense here and fit the story well but didn’t overshadow the match. That’s the biggest problem with this era most of the time, which is a shame given the talent the company had at this point. Solid stuff.

X-Pac would hook up with Kane and win the Tag Team Titles around this point. Here they are defending the belts at Over the Edge 1999.

WWF Tag Titles: X-Pac/Kane vs. Mark Henry/D’Lo Brown

This is another one of those standards of the Attitude Era: weird tag teams that are really successful. The tag titles are more or less meaningless already as the Dudleys haven’t shown up yet to save it for awhile. Ross says the fire Kane shoots up could burn down the walls of Jericho. Jericho wouldn’t debut for about 3 months. Henry is Sexual chocolate at this point. Pac and Brown start us off.

Brown was getting better and better at this point and would get the European Title very soon. He also had lost about 100 pounds inside of a year as he used to be about the size of Ezekiel Jackson and got down to about the size or Orton. Thankfully he avoids the Bronco Buster as I freaking hate that move. Henry is somehow more useless here than he is now. He’s wearing a black shirt and what looks like black jeans.

Allegedly he could dunk a basketball on an NBA rim. Something about that comes off as factually challenged to me. Basically everyone runs from Kane who comes in and cleans house. This just isn’t interesting at all and I’d say the fans would agree considering they’re barely moving let alone seeming to enjoy themselves. Brown gets one of those three counts where the referee is going to four for some reason and there’s nothing for the three that goes down. I can’t stand that.

In a cool looking spot Kane dove off the top and landed on all of the other three guys. I liked that. He follows it up with his more traditional flying clothesline. And now we get the Bronco Buster. That has to be the dumbest move of all time. Kane gets a decent chokeslam on Henry to get the pin.

Rating: D+. This was WAY too long. It was nearly 15 minutes. Can you imagine these four going at it for 15 minutes? I just had to freaking sit through it. It just wasn’t good and really needed to be about half as long. The shorter time would have made it WAY better but there’s only so much you can do in this kind of a match.

Like almost all teams, this one came to an end when X-Pac stole Kane’s girlfriend Tori. Their resulting feud went on forever, including this match at No Way Out 2000.

Kane vs. X-Pac

It’s No Holds Barred. We get a clip of Kane being hit with a flamethrower. You know Kane, maybe when you see a guy that hates you holding A BIG METAL GUN, you shouldn’t stand in front of him. Kane is in the reversed color outfit here, making him look awesome again. Yes I’m a big Kane mark so there you go.

They fight up by the entrance where there’s a random metal garbage can. Does anyone actually have those? We have big green plastic ones. It’s a total brawl so far which at least makes sense with the stipulation. We get Bearer vs. Tori. Ok then. Pac is wrestling in a t-shirt which is gone by the time that line is typed.

Bronco Buster hits. I hate that move. That’ll end that. X Factor barely keeps Kane down. That could have something to do with the fact that it ABSOLUTELY SUCKS. Top rope clothesline looks awesome. Chokeslam hits and you can feel Tori coming. Yep there it is. She gets a tombstone and Kane picks up the stairs for no adequately explored reason. They’re kicked into his face for the pin. The blowoff for this was of all things Rikishi and Kane vs. Pac and Road Dogg. Yeah it was an odd pick, but so was all of Mania 2000.

Rating: C+. Not bad for a brawl, but still there was no point to this after Armageddon. I mean Kane beating up Pac is always fun, but the angle just makes limited sense to me. Bearer was worthless here so at least some things never change. It’s not bad, but at the same time you scratch your head over it.

Pac would move on to a feud with Chris Jericho, including this match at No Mercy 2000.

Chris Jericho vs. X-Pac

Cage match. Before the match Jericho says they’re feuding and have been for so long he doesn’t even remember why they hate each other. He makes fun of him for never changing anything about himself but it ends tonight. New tights for X-Pac in a funny moment. Jericho hits a baseball slide to the floor to start and we brawl outside the cage to start. Pac never got in so that helps a bit.

Pac misses a huge chair shot and we finally get inside the cage. Standard stuff that you would expect from these two to start us off. Nice springboard dropkick to the leg of Pac to keep him in the cage. Mostly advantage to the non-Canadian (I try to avoid saying the same names over and over again if anyone wonder why I say such odd names at times) here as we wait for the Jericho comeback.

Sweet goodness X-Pac was just not interesting at all. BIG super bomb off the top to half kill X-Pac but Jericho is down too. Jericho goes for the cage but Pac grabs his foot. Jericho kicks him in the face to take care of that. I love basic counters like those. Pac goes for the door and manages to get the chair he swung earlier before Jericho makes the save.

He clocks Jericho with the chair but takes a shot of his own. JR says his eyes look glazed over but that’s typical for him. They go up to the top of the cage where Jericho gets the Walls or a Sharpshooter or something around one of the cables that they raise and lower the cage with. Pac throws him down but celebrates too long which standing on the door. Jericho of course dropkicks it and goes out to win as Pac is left crotched.

Rating: C-. Really nothing special here as Pac was beyond uninteresting at this point. I get that this was a feud but did this really warrant a PPV cage match? It wasn’t bad and the ending worked pretty well I thought, but the match just wasn’t all that interesting at all. Pretty bland though.

After an injury, Waltman would come back and form a lower card stable called X-Factor. Here they are in a six man tag at Backlash 2001.

Dudley Boys vs. X-Factor

Six man tag here with all three Dudleyz vs. X-Pac, Credible and Albert. Dang they go from one of the most famous tag matches ever to a six man opening a PPV four weeks later. Brawl to start with the Dudleys clearing the ring. They launch Spike onto Pac and Credible on the floor which is always fun. Spike and Credible start us off with Spike getting a crucifix for two.

Off to Albert who counters the Dudley Dog to take over. Back to Justin and the white socks of fear. Powerbomb out of the corner gets two as this crowd is red hot. Double tags bring in D-Von and Pac and Albert cheats, allowing Pac to kick D-Von’s head off to take over again. X-Factor minus Pac puts D-Von’s balls against the post as this is a rather fast paced match.

Pac gets two off a legdrop and we hit the chinlock. D-Von tries a comeback but walks into a Boss Man Slam to keep him down. Off to Albert who hits a pretty sweet delayed butterfly suplex for two. After a double clothesline it’s hot tag Bubba who cleans house on all three guys. What’s Up to Justin and it’s table time. Albert kills D-Von though and the distraction allows Credible and Pac to hit a double superkick on Bubba for the pin.

Rating: B-. Pretty solid opener here with some fast paced stuff. They got the crowd into the show (ok so this is Chicago so it’s not like it was that hard) and the ending worked. Nothing wrong with having heels win the opener as the match was good enough to get the fans over it. Also the lack of feud prevents the whole emotional damage.

X-Pac would pick up the Light Heavyweight Title and have a chance to unify it with the Cruiserweight Title on Raw, July 30, 2001.

Cruiserweight Title/Light Heavyweight Title: X-Pac vs. Billy Kidman

Title for title. Pac tries to throw him in the air but Kidman hits a great rana to take over. Pac sends him outside and hits a great flip dive to take over. They chop it out and Pac is launched into the post. Back in and Kidman goes up top. A top rope splash misses and X-Pac hits a few spin kicks. Powerbomb gets two and the Bronco Buster hits. Pac jumps into a dropkick for two and they trade rollups. Kidman’s corner walking bulldog is countered and X-Pac goes up. Kidman tries to meet him up there but Pac counters into an X-Factor off the top rope. That looked great and it unifies the titles.

Rating: C+. Another good match here from guys that know how to work together. They needed a lot more than four minutes but they could have done something interesting with more time. The unification would be gone pretty soon as there was another unification match at Survivor Series which got rid of the Light Heavyweight Title all together.

After disappearing in late 2001, with Commissioner Mick Foley saying no one cared, Waltman would head to TNA in 2002 and appear at Weekly PPV #14.

Jeff Jarrett/Brian Lawler vs. Syxx-Pac/BG James

Before the match BG does Scott Hall’s hey yo to a modest reaction at best. BG rambles about payback and Pac says he’s going to take Lawler’s woman but if Lawler wins, he can watch Pac and the girlfriend. After that nonsense, it’s time for the main event that almost no one cares about. Naturally it’s a huge brawl before anyone gets in the ring with people being rammed into various objects.

We finally start with Pac vs. Jarrett in the ring and there’s even a referee now. Jarrett takes over with a nice dropkick but Pac comes back with a spinwheel kick to the jaw. Jeff gets up a boot in the corner and it’s off to Lawler. The fans chant Jerry’s Kid which applies to either Jarrett or Lawler. Pac clotheslines Lawler down and brings in BG for some finger bending (seriously) and right hands. A Jarrett distraction allows Lawler to superkick BG down, followed by some fish hooking of BG’s jaws.

There’s a bulldog for two on James and Lawler demands that April watch. Brian pounds in right hands to BG’s head but a second bulldog attempt results in Lawler being crotched in the corner. Hot tag brings in Pac to clean house, including a sitout powerbomb for two on Jarrett. Both heels get Bronco Busters but the X-Factor to Lawler is badly botched. Cue Elix Skipper to lay Pac out, giving Lawler two.

Jeff hooks a sleeper on Pac but it’s only good for two arm drops. Pac hooks a sleeper of his own but gets sent into the ropes for the break. A double clothesline takes the heels down and it’s back to BG. House is cleaned and everything breaks down with BG pinning Lawler with the pumphandle slam.

Rating: D+. This was the usual from these guys: nothing special and the fans don’t care about them for the most part. I’m not even sure why most of these guys are fighting in the first place. I believe Jarrett disrespected BG’s dad and that’s about it. No one cares about Lawler and the reactions confirm that theory. It’s not a horrible match but it didn’t help the story at all.

The run didn’t last long as Waltman would head back to the indies. He would return in 2005 for a match at No Surrender 2005.

AJ Styles vs. Sean Waltman

This should be good. Both guys have history with Lynn. He and Waltman had a huge feud on the indy circuit which got Waltman his job in WWF. AJ and Lynn used to be tag team champions. Feeling out process to start. AJ has that swagger to him here and looks all cocky. Waltman grabs a headlock to try to keep things slow. That doesn’t work since it’s AJ vs. Waltman and a monkey flip sends Waltman to the floor. SUCH VENGEANCE!!!

AJ takes over and gets a suplex for two. Bridging Indian Deathlock goes on but Waltman gets a shot in to break it up. AJ fires off some kicks but Waltman blocks a suplex. And never mind as AJ dropkicks him to the floor again. Big dive over the top takes Waltman down and the fight is on the floor. Sean gets a low blow to finally slow Styles down. Back in and a legdrop gets two on AJ.

Off to the chinlock which is fine after they’ve been going hard for a few minutes. It’s fine in a situation like that but it gets annoying when you’re a minute in and someone puts a rest hold on because they’re already tired. There’s a 1-2-3 Kid chant. Bronco Buster is countered into a Styles Clash attempt but Waltman escapes and manages to hit the Buster on the second attempt.

Spin kick sends AJ to the floor and the announcers freak out just a bit too much over it. A jumping flip off the top to the floor looks much better. Styles’ nose is bleeding. AJ manages to send him into the post though and both guys are down. Back inside there’s the forearm and it’s still awesome. AJ is all fired up now and hits the moonsault into the reverse DDT for two.

Waltman kicks him low though which Lynn seems mostly cool with. A northern lights suplex gets two for Waltman. He goes up but jumps into a dropkick as this is getting awesome with the back and forth can you top this stuff. AJ grabs a backslide attempt which he rolls through into a tiger bomb which he rolls into the Clash for TWO. Wow I thought that was the ending. Spiral Tap misses and the X-Factor only gets two. Waltman goes to the floor and grabs a chair to Pillmanize AJ’s leg but Lynn breaks it up. Waltman argues with Lynn, allowing AJ to hit the second Clash for the pin.

Rating: B+. I really got into this at the end. Lynn did change the ending but it was to keep things all fair. Good stuff here and as usual, Waltman is FAR better and more interesting when he’s not in there being the plucky underdog against a monster. This was rather good and it set up Lynn vs. Waltman at Sacrifice.

Waltman would head back to the indies and Mexico for awhile before returning to TNA for one final run in the mainstream. Here he is at Destination X 2010.

Scott Hall/Sean Waltman vs. Kevin Nash/Eric Young

The heels get no music. Ok then. Waltman is named Syxx-Pac here but that’s just not being written. Hall has a partner yet he’s a lone wolf. Figure that one out. I mean why would he be channeling Barry Windham? There’s a sign all night that says PG Sucks. That line and theory just amuses me. The Survey says the fans want Hall and Waltman to have contracts.

Why does that not surprise me? Young is just billed from Canada. Is that the best they can do? Pac and Young start us out so Pac will be bearable here. He’s always been better against small guys. I just have no reason to believe he’s this giant killer that everyone swears he is. Hall comes in and does all his old stuff. Seriously I’m sitting here calling every move he’s going to do down to the second.

Young and Pac botch the heck out of a backdrop. Waltman hits a decent over the top rope dive. No Nash at all yet as they have the whole thing so telegraphed it’s pathetic. Seriously, this is boring simply because we know what’s coming. Waltman sprays paint in Young’s eyes. Yeah I’m sure the referee sees nothing odd about that at all since he was with Nash the whole time. Nash gets the tag and there it is.

Even Taz sounds bored with it. All three finishers hit and it’s over. They do the paint outline of Young on the mat which makes the whole thing look stupid. We even get the Wolfpack theme song minus the lyrics. We’ll ignore the Young push being crushed for three old guys that were a unit 12 years ago.

Rating: D. Seriously, this was boring as all goodness. There was no point to the match as it was all about the turn that we all knew was coming. When a TNA crowd sounds bored out of their mind, you know you screwed up something bad. Also, it was so much of a swerve that they had the Wolfpack music not only ready but remixed without the lyrics. That’s a REAL swerve.

Sean Waltman is a guy that has taken a big handicap in his size and made a really nice career out of it. He wasn’t the best in the world and his battles against giants drove me insane, but it was really fun when he was wrestling guys his own size and having some solid matches. His earlier stuff is far better and worth checking out.

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There are only two of these shows left that I haven’t done so I’ll be doing this and the 2007 show back to back as I try to get closer to finishing off TNA PPVs. This is from WAY back in TNA’s history as we have a double main event. The new NWA World Champion Christian is defending tonight against Monty Brown and we also have Joe vs. AJ vs. Daniels in an Ultimate X match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is….weird. The idea is something like a silent movie or an opera with a guy supposed to be Sting watching a video about Destination X. This is in black and white and is rather odd indeed. Sting is returning again tonight apparently. Oh wait it’s Steve Borden, not Sting. Like I said, Sting is back tonight.

Alex Shelley vs. Jay Lethal

Shelley is doing this weird Paparazzi thing where they film everything so he sets up a camera in front of the ring. It was one of those concept gimmicks that TNA had that never really made a lot of sense but it happened anyway. Jay Lethal is just Jay Lethal and is only twenty years old here. We hear about the World X Cup which was a pretty cool concept actually. Shelley is only 22 here so he’s barely a veteran. He and his partner Abyss had just broken up. Now there’s a tag team for you.

Technical stuff to start us off as we hit the mat. Konnan is doing Spanish commentary. Lethal works on the legs with their legs interlocked. Shelley rolls around and they’re standing on their heads with their legs interlocked and slapping each other. Cool looking spot but I’m not sure what it gets up. More striking leads to a standoff. Shelley looks SO young here that it’s insane.

Cross body and rana send Shelley to the floor and a suicide dive takes Shelley down. Lethal takes over with a dropkick to the back for two. Two boots to the face by Shelley draw a Shelley Sucks chant which is so weird to hear in modern wrestling. Modified Kofi Klutch by Shelley doesn’t last long. Off to the chinlock for a few seconds before a clothesline gets two for Shelley.

The move we would call Wasteland sets up a missed Lionsault and both guys are down. Lethal gets a neckbreaker and a single arm suplex for two. The fans chant Lethal Weapon (How was that never a move name for him???) as Shelley takes him down again. German gets two for Lethal. Diving headbutt gets two also. Lethal wrestles a lot like Benoit from the early to mid 90s. Not that it matters as Shelley grabs Sliced Bread #2 to end it.

Rating: C-. Not terrible but far more of a collection of moves than a good match. Shelley wasn’t much at this point and Lethal was just a kid here also so there wasn’t much as far as a ring general out there. Lethal not having a finisher didn’t help either, making this a fairly boring match overall. Certainly not a bad match, but really not that interesting at all.

Time to run down the card.

Team Canada talks about their matches tonight, making fun of the Naturals. This was back in the day when Impact was on Saturdays so they keep referencing last night. Coach D’Amore brags about Canada a bit. Shelley shows up to steal Young to film more stuff. Young says his Canadian Danger Sense is going off like never before. A-1 is apparently replacing him in the tag match later.

Matt Bentley vs. Lance Hoyt

Bentley has Traci with him and has one major thing going for him: his cousin is Shawn Michaels. These two were partners and broke up over Traci I believe. Standard stuff but nothing wrong with it. Speed vs. power here and power takes over to start. There are some St. Louis Cardinals here. Bentley tries to leave so Traci uses her overly large chest to distract Lance.

This fails completely so Hoyt tries a big boot and chokeslam. Matt goes after the knees but walks into a powerslam for two. BIG side slam for two. Maverick Matt (he’s fighting the Ticked Off Texan here. See what I’m up against?) gets a neckbreaker for two. Front facelock goes on as does my alarm to wake me up when this is over.

They slug it out, won by Hoyt. Pumphandle slam gets two so the future Vance Archer goes up for a missed moonsault, Apparently the entire company is bored by this match as we pan up to Young, Shelley and Borash in the rafters where they’re looking for Sting. Young drops some fliers out to the fans as we’re ignoring the match entirely. Traci shows it to Bentley, breaking up the superkick finisher. It says “Have you seen this man?” with a picture of Sting, saying contact Jeff Jarrett immediately. Hoyt gets a big boot to end this. What a mess.

Rating: F. Even the company decided to have something else going on during this match. When a match reaches that level of bad, you know you’ve got something bad on your hands here. Neither of these guys ever did anything and would have TV matches on PPV like this for a good while to come.

Rhyno, Team 3D and Ron Killings say they’re going to take down Planet Jarrett. It’s an 8 man tag tonight. Oh wait an 8 man war. Got it.

Team Canada vs. The Naturals

Bobby (Robert) Roode and Eric Young here. The Naturals are Chase Stevens and Andy Douglas. Roode vs. I think that’s Stevens to start us off. The announcers are talking about buffets or something so I’m not sure. Stevens (I was right) takes over and the Naturals double team a bit. Douglas takes over on Young but Roode hooks the leg to take over. Let’s talk about Sting some more as Young’s nickname being SHOWTIME started the Sting return stuff. It’s going to be one of those nights.

Stevens comes back in again and no one cares. I don’t even think Stevens does. He puts Young on the rope and kicks him onto the ropes crotch first. Interference takes over allowing Roode to hammer on Stevens (does it matter?) including a knee drop off the middle rope. Off to Young again as we’re firmly into the boring stages of this match again.

The fans chant USA as I could go for a history lecture at this point. Young gets flipped upside down in the corner but Douglas won’t let him walk along the apron. Stevens gets an enziguri to send Young outside. A-1 helps him back in and puts him in the corner right next to Roode. Well Canadians always have had better wrestlers than we have. Ice cold tag brings in Douglas who gets a tornado DDT on Roode for two.

The Naturals totally botch something and down goes Eric. Full Nelson Slam by Roode to Stevens gets two. Piledriver is broken up and it’s a Tower of Doom spot which you never see in modern TNA for some reason. That only gets two on Roode and their finisher doesn’t work. Instead a hockey stick to the head of Douglas ends this. Thank goodness it’s over.

Rating: D. This is one of those matches where the wrestling is fine but at the same time there was NOTHING of interest in the entire match. No point here to this being on PPV as the whole thing went too long and nothing at all was interesting nor did there seem to be a point to this match at all. Granted that could be said about almost every match on this show so far.

Monty Brown says he’s awesome and he’s going to win the title. Larry Zbyszko comes up looking like a stupid tourist and says it’ll be a level playing field. And that’s about it.

We recap the James Gang vs. LAX. No point to the match here but apparently it’s a long feud and the James Gang (Outlaws) bring in…..Road Dogg’s father Bob Armstrong to make this a six man tag.

LAX vs. James Gang/Bob Armstrong

LAX is Konnan, Homicide and Machete who would be a bigger deal in Puerto Rico and this would be his last major appearance in TNA. And Armstrong is in tights of course. This is the same one that was put into the WWE HOF this year. He’s 66 years old here and is considered the savior in a feud. This wouldn’t be the last time either which says a lot about TNA. Road Dogg (BG James) says this isn’t about catchphrases and something about ticking off a tribal elder or something.

This is about Konnan vs. BG apparently. Tenay brags about Armstrong wearing 30 year old boots and having broken into wrestling 40 years ago. Machete vs. BG to start us off. Apparently LAX hurt papa awhile ago. BG gets triple teamed which doesn’t last long. LAX cheats a lot and I can’t believe we’re only 1/3 done with this show. Homicide in now with a reverse neckbreaker for two. What’s a regular neckbreaker if that’s the reverse?

Both guys try flying forearms but crash into each other. Kip (Billy Gunn) and Machete in. If BG and Kip’s last name is James, why is BG’s dad’s last name Armstrong? Everyone hits the floor and it’s Konnan vs. Bob in the ring. He left Mexico for this people! Armstrong fires away and for some reason Konnan has to sell for him. Machete tries a chair shot which is broken up by the Bullet. Machete is surrounded by all three and a One and Only (Cobra Clutch Slam) ends him quickly. Totally pointless.

Rating: D. Well Konnan is now worthless. TNA and so many other wrestling companies can never get the concept that NO ONE KNOWS WHO BOB ARMSTRONG IS! He was a regional guy back in the 70s and early 80s. Why in the world would I want to watch a no name in his sixties on PPV? With Flair it’s a bit different but still dude, let it go. Match was dull too because everyone knew LAX would lose.

Time for Sting related segment #4 in the first hour. Young and Shelley are looking for him and Young rolls across the floor like a ninja. Is he going to kidnap a Samoan? They go into a bathroom and AJ is there. There’s a coat on the floor and gay jokes are made. Idiotic.

Petey Williams vs. Puma vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Chris Sabin

International match here. Puma is somewhat more famous as TJ Perkins in ROH. This was part of the buildup for the American X Cup which was something like an Olympics for X guys. This is during Hail Sabin which is rather cool. One fall to a finish here but they have to tag. Puma vs. Dutt to start us off. Puma manages to counter an armdrag into a rollup somehow as they’re flying around here.

Off to Petey and Sabin very quickly and it’s gymnastics time again. Springboard cross body misses for Petey but Sabin gets a springboard missile dropkick for two. Thumb to the eye of Sabin and he can’t see. Everyone is in the ring quickly and we wind up with Puma vs. Sabin. The masked dude (Puma) throws on a double underhook hold for a bit and it’s off to Petey again.

This is going WAY too fast to keep up with everything that happens. Dutt comes in and hits a Lionsault to Puma for two. Off to Williams vs. Dutt now as Petey puts him in the Tree of Woe. Blind tag by Sabin which lets him get a hesitation dropkick to Sonjay. Surfboard goes on as we slow things way down again.

And now we get a fine example of why wrestling looks stupid. With the same hold on, Dutt rotates his arms to escape and get behind Sabin into the same hold. Dutt however doesn’t have a hold of Sabin. Sabin is in the hold BECAUSE HE IS HOLDING ONTO SONJAY’S WRISTS. Dutt takes over and chops away because Sabin is really, really stupid. Off to Puma now which makes me wonder why you would ever tag out in a match like this.

Dropkick gets two for Puma. Williams comes in and stomps away on Sabin some more, including singing O Canada while standing on Sabin’s Motor City Machine Gun. Chinlock goes on and they slug it out. Sabin goes to the floor so Petey hits a slingshot rana to the floor and it’s time for the dives. Dutt sets for his but Puma drills him with a clothesline for two.

Everyone teases dives and blocks various other people’s stuff until Dutt takes everyone out with a big moonsault off the top. I’m glad the tagging got thrown out the window about 5 minutes in. Everyone is down again in the ring after more fast paced stuff. All four people snap off all kinds of stuff and Petey tries a Sharpshooter for a big pop. Tornado DDT takes Puma down again and it’s Canadian Destroyer time. That gets reversed by Dutt into a Fade To Black (Kaz’s move).

Sabin and Dutt chop it out with Sabin grabbing a powerbomb and into a helicopter bomb for two. Puma breaks it up and gets a double underhook delayed suplex for two on Sabin. Puma gets sent to the floor and Williams hits the Destroyer on Dutt and Puma pops up again to take out Williams. His save costs him though as he turns around into the Cradle Shock to end Puma and give Sabin the win.

Rating: B+. Very fast paced and fun match here that did exactly what it was supposed to do: get the crowd going after the AWFUL first hour. The X Cup was always cool and gave us some incredibly fun and exciting matches such as this one. Very fun stuff here as the international flare was a nice touch to it. No story or selling to it but there wasn’t supposed to be.

And now off to Jarrett as we stay on Sabin for a total of 5 seconds before we MUST see the draw here. And no, I’m not saying that those four or that style could carry the company because it couldn’t. Jarrett, Abyss and AMW say that they’ll win the war. Mitchell says Jarrett’s Army is awesome. Jarrett talks about Sting because he has to. Young and Shelly come in AGAIN, literally making their fifth appearance each tonight. Jarrett calls off the hunt for Sting (thank goodness) and that he’ll be in the ring if Sting wants to come find him.

We recap the 8 man war. Basically the faces are opposing Planet Jarrett/Jeff Jarrett’s Army or whatever they’re calling it this week. This is one of those feuds where it’s three feuds in one.

Jeff Jarrett’s Army vs. Team 3D/Ron Killings/Rhyno

The Army is Jarrett, AMW and Abyss. Jackie Gayda is being held against her will due to something about a video tape. At least Gail Kim looks hot here. So in other words, Jeff has had Debra, Gail and Karen. Not bad at all. It’s so weird to hear What’s Up on a TNA show. This is just a big street fight. The non Army (Navy?) hits the ring and we’re out of the ring almost immediately.

Truth would be the captain of the team for lack of anyone better. They’re in the aisle, the stands and the stage all at once. Rhyno tries to Gore Abyss off the stands but Abyss gets a boot up. Bubba ACTUALLY HITS THE BACK SPLASH (minus the rope) on Storm I think. Jarrett and Truth go to the Spanish table. D-Von and Harris are finally found in the stands. Rhyno pops Abyss with a chair. If this sounds all over the place, there’s a reason for that.

Jarrett gets some chair shots into Truth and since they’re the only ones you can see clearly we stay on them for a bit. We finally can see everyone and it’s Storm vs. Rhyno in the ring at the moment. Rhyno actually tags in D-Von and even the announcers make fun of it. The Dudleys try a Doomsday Device but Harris saves, allowing Abyss to chokeslam Ray.

Off to Jarrett vs. D-Von now with Jarrett in total control. And scratch that as Storm comes in and down he goes. The future Bully comes in and cleans house. Rhyno adds a spinebuster for two. Abyss hammers on Rhyno a bit now and the slug out goes to Abyss. Jarrett gets a dropkick and it’s off to Storm. Uh make that Harris. We have a chinlock in a WAR. I give up.

Yep it’s a boring match now. They managed to take a huge brawl that was pretty cool to start off and turned it into another boring tag match. Rhyno vs. Jarrett now and both guys go down. Harris comes in to make sure nothing exciting happens here. Perish the thought. Killings FINALLY comes in to clean house. He avoids a splash from Abyss in the corner and gets that suplex into a Stunner to Storm for two.

The Dudleys come in and it turns into a big brawl again. Guitar comes in and Jarrett has to hide it from the referee because this is a stupid match. Gore takes Jarrett down but a Black Hole Slam does the same to Rhyno. Gail breaks up What’s Up so Jackie comes in and it’s a double What’s Up to Gail and Jeff. D-Von goes to do the chest slap to Jackie and pauses in a funny spot.

3D takes out Abyss but AMW takes out Team 3D. Death Sentence to D-Von and Killings gets taken down by a double team as well. I hear handcuffs but Truth apparently has experience with them as Harris winds up cuffed to the ring. Axe kick gets two as Jarrett pulls the referee out. Jarrett and Truth slug it out a bit and the Stroke ends this rather quickly.

Rating: C. Leave it to TNA to take their WAR and make it boring for a large part of it. They started in an actual war then went to a regular match and then to a big decent fight. Of course TNA managed to take what could have been a good match and get the whole order of it screwed up. Match was just ok and the feud would continue for the most part next month at Lockdown.

Jarrett complains about Sting a bit and says he’s a coward. He gets in the ring and gives Sting a ten count which Sting doesn’t answer.

We recap Ultimate X with the idea being that no one can beat Joe so the two X Division guys are going to put him in their match. Joe was AWESOME at this point as was this three way feud.

Joe says he’s going to win and keep the title, which he misses. Goldberg comparisons are made. Don’t make me laugh.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe vs. Christopher Daniels

They make it clear that the undefeated streak isn’t on the line here. AJ and Daniels go for corners immediately but Joe is like “dudes we’re on PPV you know it’s not ending that fast.” Joe beats up AJ a bit so Daniels takes a chance at the belt. The challengers go high/low on Joe and go at it themselves. AJ sets for a dropkick but Daniels grabs the rope. AJ is like screw it and just does a standing backflip and then hits the dropkick. AWESOME.

AJ and Daniels go up but of course crash down after kicking each other a bit. Daniels goes to the floor so AJ pops Joe with some forearms including the springboard one, bringing a smile to my face. AJ gets sent to the floor and Joe wants to get a highlight reel moment, busting out a corkscrew plancha over the top to the floor to CRUSH both guys. Joe tries to go across but slips off with a little help from Daniels.

Back in the ring now with Daniels in control. Enziguri and a running knee take Joe to the floor so it’s down to the non-Samoans. AJ climbs with Daniels following so AJ gets a twisting sunset sitout powerbomb to take Daniels down. Joe goes off on both guys, possibly having been offered a box of doughnuts. Out to the floor and Joe puts Daniels in a chair to set up the Ole Kick but AJ dives in for the save instead of going for the belt.

We start the Joe’s Gonna Kill You (I prefer IDR) chants as he sets up the Musclebuster. Daniels and Joe slug it out in the middle with Tenay saying Joe is feeding off of this. Joe feeding on something. Film at eleven! Clutch in the corner doesn’t work for Joe as both guys combine to hit a double Musclebuster on Joe in a cool spot. Pele takes down Daniels which is a move I appreciate more every time I see it. The timing and placement on that has to be perfect.

AJ goes up as the fans are chanting for everyone not named Joe. Styles gets to the belt but Joe pops him in the back with a chair to save the title. In a pretty weak ending, Daniels hits Joe with the chair and casually climbs up to get the belt and end it. Just like that. No big drama spot or anything as Daniels just grabs the belt. He would lose the title in about a month back to Joe on Impact, making this virtually pointless. Joe freaks out as Daniels and AJ shake hands.

Rating: B. Good but certainly not great here. Watching these three together is never a bad thing though as they have incredible chemistry and it’s nice to see Daniels actually win something in this feud rather than having Joe and AJ dominate 100% of the time. The problem is that this was compared to the Unbreakable match which isn’t going to work ever, so take it for what it’s worth.

Christian talks about being tough but being the underdog no matter what he does. The fans chant his name and he talks about how Brown may have been a star football player but this isn’t the Serengeti but rather the Peep Zone. Christian says he’ll keep the title because that’s how he rolls.

We recap the feud which basically said that Jarrett guaranteed Brown the next title shot when Brown helped Jarrett beat Cage. The problem is Christian won but Brown got the title shot promised to him instead of Jarrett getting his rematch. It resulted in a monster vs. an average sized guy in Christian. In a bit that is rather stupid yet funny at the same time, Christian asked him what the capital of Thailand is. “Bangkok.” Say it with me: a low blow followed.

NWA World Title: Christian Cage vs. Monty Brown

Yeah still the NWA Title here which would last about another 14 months when Christian would be stripped of the title. Brown is a big old strong guy that uses a half spear/half shoulder block as a finisher. He’s a bit more known in WWE as Marcus Cor Von. Christian was certainly over in Orlando. Christian is the hometown boy so he’s by far and away the favorite. That and he’s a face.

Dueling chants begin and here we go. Christian has bad ribs because it’s illegal to be fully healthy against a monster challenger I guess. Christian grabs a headlock but Brown gets a shot to the ribs to break it up. They trade chops and Christian gets tossed to the floor. They brawl into the crowd where the people seem, shall we say, not very interested. Back to the ring and more slugging occurs.

And never mind as we’re right back to the floor. Christian tries to come back in off the top but gets caught by a punch to the ribs. This time they slug it out on the apron for a little variety before they go to the floor again. Into the ring again for more punching to the ribs of the champion. To say this is repetitive is like saying Austin likes to drink. Brown drapes him over the ropes and sends him into the post/buckle for two.

We hit the abdominal stretch which is a perfectly logical move. We’re over ten minutes into this match and I don’t think Christian has used anything other than punches or chops. Tornado DDT is reversed for two. Cage fires off some forearms before Brown hits him in the ribs to remind us that he knows how to do that. Down goes Monty but the frog splash misses for Christian and we hit another rib hold, this one on the mat.

To the corner now with Brown hammering on the ribs again. Christian knocks him off the top and drops a backsplash for two. Unprettier is blocked into an Alpha Bomb for two (big powerbomb). Unprettier is blocked into an F5 for two. Another Alpha Bomb is blocked into the Unprettier to end this. At least it’s over.

Rating: D+. Really dull match here as Brown was trying but Christian’s offense was so one dimensional for the first 12-14 minutes that it was putting me to sleep. Brown isn’t a guy capable of going 17 minutes without boring people to tears and that’s exactly what the case was here. Bad main event that needed to be about 5 minutes shorter to make it work in any fashion.

Christian starts to celebrate and cue Jarrett. We get an Edge reference and Jarrett wants his rematch RIGHT NOW. Christian mentions something about Jarrett retiring and flubs his lines. They talk over each other and Christian says he’ll beat him up but can’t give him a title shot. Brown pops up and it’s 2-1. Christian fights back with a double clothesline but Abyss comes out to make it 3-1.

Rhyno makes it 3-2 as you can see Lockdown being made right here. Team Canada and AMW with Shelley are here as Jarrett’s Army has about 8 people in it or so. The fans chant for Sting as Christian is cuffed and whipped with a belt. Sting (Steve Borden. Whatever) comes out of the crowd and beats up all eight or nine guys on his own. He literally only has to scream at Young to get rid of him.

Apparently this is over Jarrett stalking Sting’s (the announcers keep changing names too) family. Sting whips him with the belt and goes for the Scorpion, because when you think psychotic revenge, you think leg lock. Jarrett taps but Scott Steiner debuts to join Planet Jarrett and beat up Sting as the rest of Jarrett’s Army recovers at the exact same time of course. Everyone beats Sting up as Tenay overreacts beyond belief. The idiot fans chant for Goldberg. That’s hilarious. Steiner Recliner to Sting (for the love of tar PULL THE ARMS BACK YOU LAZY MICHIGAN STEROID FREAK!) and a guitar shot ends this.

Overall Rating: D. TNA in 2006 was a very mixed bag. What I mean by that is you had Team Jarrett that dominated the main event and a group of various faces fighting against him. It was ok but Jarrett wound up winning four world titles in like a year and a half out of it while everyone was bored out of his mind with him. Angle showed up in the fall but it’s not like it meant much. Anyway, weak PPV, WAY too much Jarrett/Sting stuff and nothing that hasn’t been done better elsewhere.

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Here’s a guy who did very well on very little. Today is Tatanka.

Tatanka vs. Brooklyn Brawler

A shoulder block doesn’t send anyone anywhere but another shoulder goes better for Tatanka. Brawler gets drooped by a slam and some middle rope chops but he comes back with forearms. Tatanka goes on the war path and the Papoose to Go (Samoan drop) gets the pin. Not a very interesting debut.

Like many newcomers, Tatanka would be given a fairly meaningless match on a big stage to get some exposure. In his case, the match was at Wrestlemania VIII.

Rick Martel vs. Tatanka

There are Indians at ringside chanting for Tatanka. This is about two months after Tatanka debuted on TV so you should be able to figure out what’s going to happen pretty quickly here. Tatanka start off hot as Heenan explaining that Flair did nothing wrong. Gorilla shouts that Heenan is a liar, so Heenan challenges him to a fight. Martel makes a quick comeback and sends Tatanka out to the floor. Back in and Bobby makes Indian jokes as Martel stomps away a bit more. Rick goes up and gets crotched, allowing Tatanka to pound away even more. Out of nowhere a cross body pins Martel.

Rating: D+. The match was ok but it was nothing more than a way to give the fans a breather. Like I said, no one knew Tatanka at this point due to how little time he had been on TV. Martel was in total jobber to the stars territory by this point and would be gone pretty soon. Nothing to remember here at all.

Tatanka would go on the European tour just after Wrestlemania and open the European Rampage event.

Tatanka vs. Skinner

Tatanka gets an ERUPTION. Sweet GOODNESS. This is the last night of the tour apparently. Skinner was the operator of FCW which became NXT for those of you unaware. Tatanka is relatively new here and is in long tights still. We talk about Colonel Mustafa who is more commonly know as Iron Sheik getting stuck on an escalator for an hour and a half yesterday.

It’s all Tatanka so far as you would expect. This is more about just running down the card for the rest of the show so far which is fine I guess. It’s a glorified house show but that’s all you need sometimes. Gorilla and Heenan are awesome of course as they always were around this time.

Tatanka might be bleeding but I’m not sure. Heenan does that little stutter when he says his name which is funny for some reason. Skinner yells at Tatanka to keep his shoulder down. He’s direct if nothing else. Heenan is apparently reading a rule book and looking for something Tatanka is doing wrong. Skinner scared me as a kid. He was just creepy.

I’m really not sure why this was chosen as the opener. Tatanka meant very little at this point and neither did Skinner for that matter. This would likely be better suited as a dark match or something like that. It’s not terrible though. Skinner goes for a double axe off the middle while Tatanka is on his back.

It’s the jump into the boot spot which is one of the dumbest things I can remember. What’s the point of that anyway? Bobby says no one here has ever seen an Indian. I wonder how true that actually is. Would they be familiar with what his character is supposed to be? Tatanka makes a quick comeback and hits the Papoose To Go to win.

Rating: D+. Nothing special but it was ok for an opener I guess. Tatanka wouldn’t mean much of anything for about a year or so. This was just odd to say the least, but it could have been far worse. This was very similar to the Martel match at Wrestlemania as Tatanka was still getting exposure. I don’t think Skinner was around much longer.

A few weeks later, Tatanka would be in a battle royal on May 18, 1992.

Battle Royal

Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels (can these two ever be apart?), Sgt. Slaughter, Tatanka, Tito Santana, Virgil, Kerry Von Erich (he had a job at this point???), Barry Horowitz, Jim Powers, Repo Man (missed by the announcer), Kato, Skinner, (she gets Repo Man here), Dale Wolfe, Brooklyn Brawler, Brian Costello, Reno Riggins, Barry Hardy, Dwayne Gill, Chuck Casey, Tom Stone

Colonel Mustafa (Iron Sheik), Crush, Burt Spears, George Anderson (announced as Chuck Casey to mess my numbers up even more), Ron Cumberland, Bill Melky (might have missed the name but does it matter?), Ted DiBiase, IRS, Beau Beverly, Blake Beverly, Knobbs, Sags, Animal, Hawk, Owen Hart, Koko B. Ware, Earthquake, Typhoon.

There are 40 people in this and since a lot of them are jobbers and not mentioned by the announcers, I’m sorry if I don’t know their names but it’s not like they matter. This was a record for biggest battle royal in WWF history until the 2011 Rumble tied it and is still a record for most people in the ring at once. I count 38 but I’m not counting them again. One is named Donny apparently so that’s 39. Don’t even ask me who is still in there or going out here as it’s impossible to tell.

A mob takes out Earthquake almost immediately. Typhoon is out seconds later. Everyone stands around throwing punches for awhile and there goes a jobber. A few more jobbers go out as Slaughter is in trouble. There’s another jobber as there’s a bit of room in there now. Hawk and Sags go out. Animal and Knobbs are on the floor now so they’re out. I’m missing eliminations but it’s not like it matters.

A pair of jobbers go out on opposite sides. There’s another one out. Repo Man is gone too, as is Von Erich. Bret and Shawn go out at the same time. It’s almost scary with those two at times. Owen goes out as they fight up the aisle. Skinner is gone. Horowitz is out. We’re down to about 15 now. Slaughter does his over the corner bump to be put out. Powers is gone at the hands of Sheik.

DiBiase and Kato put Crush out. Sheik is gone, getting us down to 9. Make that 8 with Koko going out. Jobber gone. Ok so it’s Kato, Tom Stone, Beau Beverly, Blake Beverly, Tatanka, Ted DiBiase, IRS and Virgil. There goes Stone…through the ropes. Then he does it again. Kato is gone as are Virgil and DiBiase.

Stone gets tossed and it’s down to IRS, the Beverlies and Tatanka. They triple team the stereotype and drop elbows on him. They try some double teaming and one of the Beverlies is put out. I think it was Beau but does it matter? They try to throw Tatanka out but he low bridges them, sending IRS out. A chop gives the win to Tatanka.

Rating: C. I’ll go right in the middle because there’s nothing at all you can really say about this that you can’t say about the vast majority of others. The 40 man aspect here was a little novelty and Tatanka winning keeps them from having to deal with the whole “well it was a battle royal so he’s still undefeated” thing. Not bad but just a big battle royal.

Here’s a slightly tougher opponent from Novembe 23, 1992.

Ric Flair vs. Tatanka

This isn’t from Raw but rather a Wrestling Challenge taping. What they would do is have their TV tapings and then tape matches like these for tapes. This has to be early 93 as Flair was gone by like February of that year. Heenan gives us some rather interesting insight into Flair’s mindset and strategy. He says Flair will often give the other guy his arm to sucker him into the Figure Four. That’s psychology people and you rarely get things like that told to you. Also how nice of Heenan to tell EVERYONE how Flair operates in the ring. Obviously no potential opponent will ever see this match and hear that or anything like that right?

Very basic stuff to start but it’s well done. Tatanka takes over and we get a Flair Flop. Flair sends him to the floor as this is a very slow paced match. Again Heenan vs. Ross is the main attraction here but often times they take away from the match, which their discussion of Green Acres is doing here. Classic Flair as he asks the referee to check if Tatanka gives up so he can grab the ropes. Basic things like that make guys into heels. It’s so simple yet it gets a big reaction. Flair is a master at that.

Back to the floor again goes the less successful of these two. To fill time we hear about how Flair was in a plane crash. They haven’t actually gone past basics here which is kind of a bad thing but at the same time the match is working fine for what it’s supposed to be so I can’t complain much. Ok so yeah I could but you get the idea. After nearly ten minutes Flair goes in for the knee and gets the Figure Four.

Heenan getting under Ross’ ultra serious skin is absolutely hilarious. Tatanka is pretty bad about selling the hold as all he does is lay there. Naturally he rolls over and Flair lets go immediately. Flair goes flying off the top of course and here comes the racial stereotype. A chop hits Flair as he comes off the top. Can Tatanka do anything other than chop? He goes for a chop (SHOCKING) off the top but gets caught by a punch to the ribs. Both hit the floor and brawl for a bit but Tatanka is thrown back in at 9 for the count out win. Flair puts him in the Figure Four on the floor but Perfect comes out for the save.

Rating: B-. This was basic but it was well done I thought. Tatanka won to keep his nearly two year undefeated streak going and Flair looked good in the process. That’s all you really need I’d think. This worked rather well though as Flair was his usual evil self. Not a classic by any means, but after almost 12 minutes it didn’t get boring so I’ll give it a point.

Tatanka still hadn’t lost a match at this point which earned him an Intercontinental Title shot at Wrestlemania IX.

Intercontinental Title: Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn is defending of course and has the debuting Luna Vachon behind him. Tatanka is still undefeated here and would be so until much later in the year. Shawn’s former manager, Sensational Sherri, comes down the aisle to stare at Shawn and presumably be in Tatanka’s corner. Tatanka takes Shawn down a few times to start and they fight over arm control. Shawn comes back with a headlock and climbs the ropes to roll Tatanka down with it for two.

The champion tries it again but gets caught in a belly to back suplex for two this time instead. Shawn goes up again but dives into an armdrag as things pick up a bit. There’s a Flair Flip in the corner and a big chop puts Shawn on the floor. Sherri and Luna get in a staredown and Luna licks the ring post. More chops keep Michaels on the floor as the fans are getting into this.

Back in again and Shawn comes off the top with a semi-botched sunset flip for two but Tatanka comes right back with an atomic drop. A DDT puts Shawn down again and Tatanka works on Shawn’s apparently bad shoulder. Shawn tries a clothesline like an idiot and hurts his own arm again. We hit another armbar but Michaels fights up, only to charge shoulder first into the post.

Back to the armbar followed by a shoulder breaker for no cover by the challenger. A top rope chop to the shoulder has Shawn in even more trouble but a second attempt jumps into the superkick. Since it’s 1993 though that doesn’t end anything so Shawn sends Tatanka out to the floor. The girls get in another staredown but Shawn hits a running clothesline off the apron to take Tatanka out again.

Instead of following up, Shawn yells at Sherri. Since he’s Shawn Michaels though, he still maintains control with a neckbreaker for two. A standing dropkick gets two for Shawn and it’s off to a chinlock. That goes nowhere so Shawn hits a modified victory roll out of the corner for two. The shoulder seems to be fine now. Tatanka counters another victory roll attempt into an electric chair to put both guys down. A very delayed cover gets two for the challenger and it’s time to go on the warpath.

Shawn gets caught in a cross body for two and a slingshot sends him face first into the post for two. The crowd is WAY into this match now. Tatanka’s Papoose To Go (Samoan Drop) is countered into a rollup for two for Shawn but he walks into a powerslam for two. Shawn sends him out to the floor and the fans chant for Sherri. Michaels dives off the apron but slams his head into the steps, knocking himself silly and causing a countout win for the racial stereotype.

Rating: B. If Tatanks wins clean here, it’s a near classic. This was a VERY solid opener with the fans getting completely into the near falls. The shoulder injury being forgotten ten minutes into it hurt things though as I can’t stand a plot point being introduced and then left completely alone. Also Tatanka should have won but it still makes for a fine opener.

Like any wrestler worth anything at this time, Tatanka would take part in the 1993 King of the Ring.

First Round: Tatanka vs. Lex Luger

Luger beat Backlund and Tatanka beat Giant Gonzalez. Luger is the Narcissist at this point and both he and Tatanka are undefeated at this point. They had teased Luger vs. Hart for awhile but it never happened. Luger has a steel plate in his arm so he was being forced to have a pad over it in most of his matches. Luger really did nail the self absorbed heel character.

He has to put it on or he can’t fight. Savage says the King of the Ring is the most prestigious ever. I love how things at the moment have to be built up. I get why it was done, but that’s just amusing. Tatanka starts off hot if nothing else. He was generic but dang the people responded to him. Heenan gets as close to being too far as you can get without going too far with his jokes about Tatanka. Why wasn’t Savage in this thing? I’ve never gotten that.

He says that the winner of the tournament should be considered equal to the WWF Champion. Well that’s over the top but if nothing else it does come close to validating the tournament as being a big deal. That’s not terrible. Bam Bam says that he wants Tatanka. Heenan says that Bigelow’s grandfather was Buffalo Bill Bigelow. I don’t know how to reply to that.

This turns into a pretty decent back and forth match, but given the amount of times that the announcers point out the fifteen minute time limit and the double undefeated streaks here, the ending is pretty clear. Luger is in control for the most part, but Tatanka does his version of Hulking Up towards the end. A chop gets two. A chop gets two. A chop gets two. A top rope chop gets two.

A top rope chop gets two. Starting to see why Tatanka didn’t really do a lot in the company? The announcers point out that neither guy can know the time limit is about to expire, which it does following Luger nearly winning it. There’s no announcement that we’re running out of time which is something that I like here. Why tell them?

It makes things more believable towards the end of the match. Anyway, we have a draw, but afterwards Luger acts like a face by asking for five more minutes. He confirms being a heel, even though that would end in like two weeks, by nailing Tatanka with the steel forearm to knock him out. Bigelow is in the finals now.

Rating: B-. This was another good match. While the ending was a bit predictable, sometimes that’s ok. These two were both rather limited in the offense area but they still put on a solid enough match for this to be passable. Tatanka didn’t do much other than chop people, but he knew how to work a crowd and it made up for everything else, which holds true for Luger also. It wasn’t pretty, but it did what it was supposed to do.

Without much else going on, Tatanka would be put in a six man tag at Summerslam 1993.

Smoking Guns/Tatanka vs. Headshrinkers/Bam Bam Bigelow

Aren’t cowboys and Indians supposed to fight? The heels have Afa and Luna Vachon with them. The Samoans run over the Guns to start and we have Bigelow vs. Tatanka to get us going. Tatanka fires off a shoulder block and a dropkick followed by an impressive backdrop. Both guys try cross bodies and Tatanka actually gets the better of it. For a gimmick wrestler Tatanka had some good success around this time.

A double tag brings in Billy vs. Fatu (Rikishi) with the Samoan hitting a quick superkick. Billy comes back with a top rope clothesline as Vince tells us Billy went to college on a rodeo scholarship. That actually exists? Another superkick from Samu knocks Billy into the tag to Bart who is slammed face first into the mat for his troubles. Bigelow comes in with a dropkick for two before it’s back to Fatu for a wicked powerslam. The Samoans take turns double teaming Bart with headbutts and chops as the heat segment goes on for a good while.

Bigelow misses a charge and hits the post, allowing Bart to make the hot tag off to Tatanka. The Indian chops every heel in sight and takes Bigelow down with a DDT and a high cross body for two. Tatanka goes on the war path but walks into an enziguri from Bam Bam. Sometimes there’s no better solution than to kick a guy in the head. Everything breaks down and Tatanka is left all alone against the three monsters. A TRIPLE HEADBUTT puts Tatanka down and all three go up for a triple flying headbutt, but Tatanka rolls away and rolls up Samu for the pin.

Rating: B-. Where in the world did this come from??? This was a shockingly good tag match with everyone moving fast and some great looking spots from Bigelow. Tatanka was one of those guys that the fans just liked and there’s no way you can fake that. Good stuff here and a very nice surprise.

Tatanka’s undefeated streak would be broken by Ludvig Borga in October 1993. There was some new talent being brought into the company around this time and Tatanka would face one of them on Wrestling Challenge on February 13, 1994.

Tatanka vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jeff gets in a cheap shot during Tatanka’s posing and drops him with an elbow to the jaw. Tatanka makes a comeback and chops away in the corner but misses a charge to give Jeff control again. He mocks an Indian cry and nails a snap suplex for two. Ludvig Borga comes out for no apparent reason and Jarrett chokes away even more. Borga gets in a cheap shot but it only wakes Tatanka up. We hit the warpath and Tatanka hits the floor to chop Borga as well, drawing in Ludvig for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was nothing to see and was just there to keep up the feud between Borga vs. Tatanka, which didn’t go anywhere after that. Jarrett would take a long time to really get anywhere and this character wasn’t helping anything. Granted that’s likely because there was no character to be seen.

The next match up is from the March to Wrestlemania X special.

Yokozuna vs. Tatanka

Yokozuna’s WWF Title isn’t up for grabs. This is about revenge after Yokozuna crushed Tatanka and put him on the shelf for a few months. Yokozuna’s manager Mr. Fuji offers a distraction to give Yokozuna a cheap shot from behind. Some chops don’t have much effect on the big man but he misses a splash. A high cross body gets two for Tatanka, but that’s about the extent of his offense as he runs into a knee to the ribs. We hit the nerve hold before Tatanka is thrown to the floor with ease.

The fat guy takes off a turnbuckle pad and we take a break. Back with another nerve hold before a clothesline takes Tatanka’s head off. Yokozuna sends him into the corner but goes face first into the exposed buckle, giving Tatanka a very delayed two. A series of chops put Yokozuna down for another two but he’s way too big for the Papoose to Go (or the Wigwam Bomb as Johnny Polo dubs it). The belly to belly sets up the Banzai Drop to give Yokozuna the pin.

Rating: C-. This pairing actually made a good deal of money on the house show circuit in 1993 with this exact same match. There’s something that works about a smaller guy doing everything he can to drop a huge guy and the reaction to the big chop putting Yokozuna down proves it. Not a good match or anything but it told a good story.

With the hard working Native American gimmick having run its course, it was time to switch things up. Around this time, Tatanka’s friend Lex Luger was having issues with Ted DiBiase. The Million Dollar Man was saying that Luger had sold out and Tatanka started to believe it. Luger felt the only way to prove his innocence was to have a match because that’s how wrestling works. From Summerslam 1994.

Lex Luger vs. Tatanka

The fans aren’t sure how they feel about Luger at the moment. They finally lock up with Luger taking it into the corner for a clean break. A shoulder puts Tatanka down but Luger still won’t follow up. Tatanka grabs the arm as we’re still in first gear. A cross body gets two for Tatanka and it’s time to slug it out with Lex taking over. Tatanka starts the war path and hits a top rope chop for two but a high cross body only hits mat. Luger starts his comeback but here’s DiBiase with a bag of money. Lex shouts that he didn’t sell out, allowing Tatanka to roll him up for the pin.

Rating: D. The match was very slow paced which isn’t good in a short match. We were waiting for the angle here instead of the match which is fine, but it didn’t make the match any less dull. Tatanka was into a more serious phase of his career here and his matches got a lot less fun to watch as a result.

Post match Luger is mad and he kicks the bag out of DiBiase’s hand…..only to have Tatanka reveal the HE sold out by destroying Luger. Tatanka puts him in the Million Dollar Dream and shoves money down Luger’s throat. This has always been a favorite of mine.

Here’s a rematch from October 19, 1994.

Tatanka vs. Lex Luger

Tatanka is part of the Million Dollar Team so this is after Summerslam 94. We’re in Albany it seems. The racial stereotype tries to talk but gets cut off by the music of the Renegade Lex Luger. Luger goes right after Tatanka and we’re on in a hurry. The Indian hides on the floor as we stall a lot. Luger wants to kill him it seems. Literally all we have here is Luger chasing Tatanka and Tatanka running away.

FINALLY the referee gets in Luger’s way and we get going. Luger hammers away and after about a minute I have a bad feeling about this tape. Out to the floor and it’s Tatanka in control. We’re maybe four minutes into this and I want to go watch some Sandman vs. Sabu. Three elbows get two for Tatanka.

Ah there’s a chinlock. Wow this is riveting. Luger’s face is pathetic here as he might as well be ordering dinner. He fights up and Tatanka gets a knee to put him back down. Back to the chinlock again. To tell you how pathetic the Million Dollar Team was, King Kong Bundy was considered their best chance at getting a title. Lex fights up again and AGAIN it’s the chinlock. This is one of the most boring matches I’ve ever seen, which is covering a lot of ground.

Luger knocks Tatanka to the floor which seems to be a common theme tonight. Lex goes out after him and the beating continues. At least this is finally picking up a bit. It’s about time after that big long boring match. And there’s a double countout to end this. Oh no. Oh no they didn’t just give us THAT finish after watching these two for almost fifteen minutes. Dang it yes they did.

Rating: F. This was AWFUL. Nothing happened in this and it was the epitome of filling in time without having to do a thing. This was a feud I always liked and then we get this nonsense. Totally boring match that is mostly chinlock and running. I know this era was bad but this isn’t making me feel any better about this tape.

Tatanka would continue to be part of the Million Dollar Team, including teaming with Bam Bam Bigelow to go after the Tag Team Titles. They would have their shot in a tournament final at the 1995 Royal Rumble.

Tag Titles: Bob Holly/1-2-3 Kid vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Tatanka

Shawn and Diesel split up and we needed champions. Holly and Tatanka start things off with Tatanka hitting a side slam for two. Holly comes back with a slam and a few dropkicks as this is going nowhere so far. Off to the Kid vs. Bigelow, with the big man running over both of the smaller guys with ease. Bigelow LAUNCHES Kid into the air but gets caught in a rana to send Bam Bam rolling.

Back to Tatanka who whips Kid into the buckles a few times before it’s off to Bigelow to pound on the small guy some more. In something that actually impressed me, Kid backdrops Bigelow to the floor. Both small guys try top rope cross bodies but they escape and dropkick the heels together. Things settle down with Tatanka beating on Holly for a LONG time. Bigelow comes in, allowing Tatanka to distract the Kid. Holly goes to the corner to find no partner and Bigelow splashes Bob.

Holly gets beaten down so badly that he goes to the wrong corner and tags in Tatanka. Thank goodness this isn’t the Attitude Era because it probably would have been legal in some of their matches. Tatanka comes in for more beating on Holly until Bob FINALLY gets in a clothesline for the hot tag to the Kid. Everything breaks down and Kid is LAUNCHED to the floor by Bigelow. Bam Bam loads up the moonsault but Tatanka accidentally hits the ropes to knock him to the mat. Somehow that’s enough for the pin and the titles for the Kid.

Rating: C+. This went nearly sixteen minutes which was just too long. It’s quite good but it would have been great if they cut off five minutes or so. Those launches by Bigelow were awesome looking as Kid continues to be an excellent seller of moves like those. The idea was that it was all Bigelow’s fault, even though Tatanka is totally to blame for Bigelow crashing like that. The Gunns would win the titles back the next night on Raw, making this whole thing pretty pointless.

Bigelow would be thrown off the Million Dollar Team and eventually be replaced by Sid. This set up the main event of the 1995 King of the Ring, with Tatanka teaming with Sid against Bigelow and WWF Champion Diesel.

Diesel/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Sid and Tatanka

For some reason Bigelow had a pyromaniac gimmick going on or something like it. His outfit consists of a full body costume with orange and black flames sticking off of it and forearm things that shoot fire. This is stupid as all goodness. This match hasn’t been mentioned or hyped or anything at all tonight. Literally, I forgot about it for a lot of the show. That’s how important this match was for the company.

Sid and Diesel had fought at In Your House with Diesel winning. Bigelow was fired from the Million Dollar Team because he kept losing. Other than that, the Team injured Diesel’s arm so it’s bandaged. This feels like a dark match after a show is over that isn’t advertised or anything. Seriously, it’s added on at the end or something like that. What’s the point here?

It’s your standard main event tag match with the faces dominating early and then the heels work on the injury to set up the hot tag, then beat down face #2, Bigelow in this case, leading to the final hot tag to the champion. That takes 15 minutes, and NO ONE CARES! That’s the issue with the whole show. No one cares about anything here because there is zero effort being put into it. You can tell the wrestlers don’t care because this show means nothing at all.

This might as well have been a big house show or something. After working on the injured elbow, which Vince wants them disqualified for in a stupid string of comments, Diesel hits the powerbomb on Tatanka but wants Sid, who runs away so Diesel can get the pin. There would be a lumberjack match the next month and that’s all there is to it. Yeah seriously that’s how the show ends.

Rating: C-. And that’s out of pity. This was just so generic again that all I can call it is average. It had some ok spots but nothing special at all. Sid and Diesel were crushing the company with their horrible feud that never went anywhere. The company somehow managed to screw things up even worse in a few months with Diesel vs. Mabel.

Vince’s love of big men continued to suck the life out of his company and more importantly the fans with these stupid big men matches. Diesel was talented, but the opponents weren’t. Seriously, you have Bret, Shawn, Owen and Taker to put him against and you picked Mabel. That’s just freaking stupid. Anyway, this was ok, but like every single match tonight, there was no reason to care about it and I’m glad this crap is over.

Tatanka’s time in the company was coming to an end but he would have this match on Raw from February 19, 1996.

Tatanka vs. Undertaker

This is after Undertaker’s VERY long feud with the Million Dollar Team so we can call this part of the aftermath. Undertaker sends Tatanka into the corner to start and chokes away as Diesel comes to the ring with an ax. He takes the cameraman with him and we go to a break. Back with Tatanka holding a headlock and a split screen showing Diesel destroying Undertaker’s casket with the ax. Undertaker comes back with the running clothesline and Old School as the casket is destroyed even more. Tatanka scores with a piledriver but gets chokeslammed and tombstoned for the easy pin.

Rating: D. This was there as a backdrop for the Diesel stuff which helped set up their Wrestlemania match. Tatanka meant nothing at this point and it was painfully obvious. At the end of the day there’s only so much you can do with a character like his and we passed that about two years ago.

Tatanka would leave the WWF soon after this and hit the indies/mostly retire. He would come back on the indy circuit a bit later on, including this match from Rodman Down Under in 2001.

Australasian Title: One Man Gang vs. Tatanka

Yes seriously. Tatanka is defending and is the face, but wouldn’t you think he would be a heel for being so proud of being from another country? The Gang thanks the fans for their support but wants the women to wash their underwear before they throw them to him. Gang looks so old it’s unreal. He pounds away in the corner to start and gets two off a clothesline. Tatanka comes back with kicks and chops as this is somehow less interesting than the girls.

Gang is sent to the floor and complains about how bad he smells. He takes a walk up the aisle and after nearly a minute the fans fill the ring with trash. Back in and they trade wristlocks with Gang pounding down into the shoulder. Tatanka comes back with shots to Gang’s shoulder as well and a chop to the head for two. A nearly botched cross body gets two more for Tatanka but Gang hits one of his own for two. Tatanka works the leg for a bit as this is already going longer than it should.

Gang kicks him to the floor but gets caught in a sunset flip for two. The big man slowly drops knees as I go read Gone with the Wind to fill in the time. Off to a nerve hold until Gang drives some shoulders into Tatanka’s ribs. Gang misses a running charge in the corner but Tatanka charges into a boot in the corner. A big fat legdrop makes me wish I was watching a Yokozuna match but Tatanka avoids a second one. I’m assuming he does as the camera was on fans in NWO shirts.

Tatanka makes his comeback and a chop to the head gets two. He rams Gang’s head into the buckle but the referee is crushed off a whip. Gang is slammed off the top and chopped in the head but there’s no referee. The fat man loads up some brass knuckles and knocks out the Indian for the pin and the title after nearly TWENTY MINUTES.

Rating: F+. I’ll give Gang credit here: he was trying. He was playing to the crowd and actually moving a bit out there which is more than you can say for most of the wrestlers tonight. The match was WAY too long though and on a show already this bad there’s no reason for it to go this long. Did they only have twelve people for the show or something?

He even came back to WWE for a year, with this being the highlight. From No Way Out 2006.

MNM vs. Matt Hardy/???

This is an open challenge. MNM is Mercury, Nitro and Melina. Nitro is more famous as Morrison now. Matt took them up on it but we don’t know who the partner is. MNM are the Smackdown tag champions here so of course this is non-title. Here’s Matt, and here’s his partner.

MNM vs. Matt Hardy/Tatanka

This is like an indy show nightmare. Tatanka is in a non-title tag team match with Matt Hardy on PPV in 2006. WHAT THE HECK? Zero reaction as you probably would have guessed. Tatanka came back at the Rumble and would eventually turn heel and start a feud with Lashley before leaving before they had any contact. Hardy and Mercury start us off here.

Somehow Matt is the big star here. Off to Tatanka and Mercury is in trouble. Sweet goodness this is uninteresting beyond belief. Tazz: who’s going to challenge MNM. Cole: Matt Hardy and Tatanka? Point for Cole. Melina gets in Hardy’s face and slaps the tar out of him. Tatanka comes in to chop a lot. Melina rakes his eyes and MNM takes over again. Sweet merciful crap this is boring.

The heels double team Tatanka as I want to find a bag to put over my head to avoid having to watch this. Suffocation is sounding good right now. You can hear Hardy calling Tatanka Chris which probably isn’t the best thing in the world to hear. Tatanka catches Mercury coming off the top in an atomic drop but Nitro comes in to keep the tag from happening. And that completely fails as Matt comes in a few seconds later.

Matt cleans house as this is still completely uninteresting. Twist of Fate is blocked and Nitro gets a superkick to Hardy. Both members of MNM have been in the ring for like a minute and Tatanka doesn’t seem to mind his partner doing double duty. Back to Tatanka and we get stereo Twist of Fate and Papoose To Go to end this. Was there ANY point to this at all?

Rating: D. It was boring, it wasn’t interesting, and Tatanka was the best they could come up with? Was Shannon Moore not available? Somehow he would have been a better choice. This was just awful as the fans didn’t care and this went nowhere at all. I can’t even say it was short as it went over ten minutes. Bad match.

Tatanka is a good example of a guy who had a very limited gimmick and turned it into a fairly decent career. He was kind of a throwback to an old school one note gimmick character and it did about as well as it was going to. Even though he didn’t have a ton of success, he was always around for a long stretch which isn’t the worst thing in the world.

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It’s the go home show for Backlash and the main story is the Ministry being totally out of control. The Corporation is fighting them as well as they can but there’s just too much going on for them to do much good. Other than that we’ll get the fallout from Rock throwing both Austin and the title belt into the river last week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Smoking Skull belt being introduced and then thrown in the river last week with Austin following it into the water.

Rock drives a hearse into the arena because he buried the title last week. This week it’s going to be a funeral with Rock delivering the eulogy. We even have a casket, flowers, and a big mound of dirt. Rock climbs onto the mound while guaranteeing to show that he’s the best champion ever on Sunday. Simple stuff here but on a big stage.

Vince and Stephanie will do a sitdown interview in Connecticut tonight so Vince is checking with security to make sure Stephanie is safe.

Road Dogg vs. Owen Hart

There’s no ramp this week due to the grave taking up so much space. Before the match, Dogg says that the Outlaws are the #1 contenders but if he loses tonight, Owen and Jarrett are the #1 contenders, no questions asked. However, if Dogg wins, the world gets to see Debra’s puppies. That’s the first time that term was ever used in the WWF so there’s your historical moment.

Owen jumps Dogg to start as Jerry is now a huge Roadie fan. The left hands and shaky knee drop get two on Owen but he comes back with a spinwheel kick (Lawler: “NO!”). A legdrop gets two more for Hart and he nails an enziguri for a close two. Owen drops a middle rope elbow but Dogg kicks out of the Sharpshooter and hits the pumphandle slam for the pin, sending Lawler into orbit.

Rating: D. This was just about the post match stuff and introducing one of the longest running jokes in WWF history to the lexicon. The tag match on Sunday was the more important story anyway, but this is far most historic. It says a lot that Owen and Jarrett were one of the top teams in the division.

Jeff Jarrett prevents the unveiling.

Undertaker sends the Acolytes out to take care of the Brood.

Rock is practicing his eulogy.

Brood vs. Acolytes

Christian is the odd man out here. It’s a brawl to start with the power guys easily taking over to start. Farrooq powerbombs Edge down but the Canadian comes back with a spinwheel kick and some lame kicks to the shoulder. That’s fine with Farrooq as he comes back with a spinebuster and makes the tag to Bradshaw. Gangrel comes in and fights out of a superplex before hitting a quick DDT.

Bradshaw hits a quick fall away slam and brings Farrooq back in for a belly to back suplex/neckbreaker combo. Farrooq works on the back as Lawler’s voice sounds like it’s cracking. Gangrel finally gets over for a tag but Bradshaw takes Edge’s head off before he can get going. The double powerbomb lays out Edge but Shamrock runs in with a ball bat to knock Bradshaw silly for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not much better than the opener but it had more time and the teams knew how to work a decent match. Neither team would do anything for awhile but once Edge and Christian took off they never looked back. The main event war continues to devour the entire company.

Undertaker is livid at the Acolytes for not getting a pin.

There’s a new special coming. It’s called Smackdown.

During the break, Undertaker and Viscera beat the tar out of Farrooq and Bradshaw.

Intercontinental Title: Godfather vs. Hardcore Holly

Only Godfather’s title is on the line. It’s a slugout to start with Godfather getting the better of it. A boot to the face sends Holly to the floor where he picks up a cookie sheet, only to get rolled up for two. The Ho Train crushes Holly but we’ve got a ref bump a minute into the match. Holly rolls outside again and nails Godfather with the cookie sheet several times before throwing him out to the floor. A hockey stick over Godfather’s back has him in even more trouble but Godfather kicks a chair into Holly’s face. Goldust comes out and breaks up Godfather’s cover, but Snow lays Holly out with Head to give Godfather the pin.

Rating: D-. Did I mention this is Russo time? It’s a three minute and five second match, complete with a ref bump, four weapons and two run ins. I have no idea why the match needed all this stuff but that’s part of Russo’s philosophy: a title match isn’t enough to keep the fans’ entrance so all this stuff has to be thrown in. It works once in awhile but when it happens all the time, the effect wears off.

Undertaker is on the phone with Mideon and tells him not to fail.

Rock is having his shoes shined and promises to bury Austin tonight.

Ken Shamrock vs. Big Boss Man

No holds barred due to Boss Man attacking Shamrock last week to kick him out of the Corporation, though Shamrock is still loyal to Vince. The brawl starts in the aisle with no one in control. Boss Man is sent into the steps and then into the ring for the opening bell. Shamrock kicks Boss Man in the head and they slug it out until an enziguri (hit Ken’s shoulder) puts Shamrock down. A much better pair of spinebusters get three straight two counts and a powerslam gets one more. Boss Man hammers away even more but Ken grabs a hurricanrana and belly to belly out of nowhere for the pin.

Rating: D-. The gimmick brings this down as there was no reason for this to be no holds barred at all. If nothing else it makes future matches with the same gimmick look stupid as fans will say “the last one sucked so why should I care about this one?” As a regular match it wasn’t much to see either.

Undertaker immediately pops up and says he knows where Ryan Shamrock is, even knowing her room number. Ken runs to the back.

The Mean Street Posse comes out for commentary.

Mankind vs. HHH

Some right hands have HHH in early trouble but Chyna pulls Mankind down by the tie and hits him in the face. That doesn’t last long though as a backdrop puts HHH down again and he gets tied up in the Tree of Woe. HHH comes back again and hits the running knee to send Mankind outside. Chyna gets in even more shots as the Posse hasn’t had much to say so far.

Back in and HHH drops a knee for two before clotheslining Mankind out to the floor. Both guys are sent into the steps with HHH getting the better of it and hammering away back inside. The Pedigree is countered but HHH blocks the catapult attempt, so Mankind falls head first onto his crotch. Socko is loaded up but Chyna crotches Mankind against the post for a DQ.

Rating: C-. Better match but that’s still not saying match. These guys were capable of having some classics but they need more than six minutes on a random Raw in the middle of April. The DQ/screwy finishes are getting really annoying tonight, which says a lot given what we usually have to sit through on this show.

Post match the Corporation comes in to attack Mankind but Big Show makes the save. He hits a HUGE chokeslam on Test to send everyone running. Mankind grabs the mic and says thank you very much, but they’ll still meet in his boiler room on Sunday.

Rock is on the phone in the parking lot and says his car cost $40,000.

Billy Gunn vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jeff sends him into the corner and stomps away to start but walks into a great powerslam for two. Owen comes out to trip Billy, allowing Jarrett to clothesline him outside. Road Dogg gets caught trying to help and Gunn is posted. A bulldog gets two for Jarrett but Billy drops him face first onto the top turnbuckle to take over.

Road Dogg helps his partner out with a right hand but Billy and Jeff hit heads to knock each other down. JR is already annoyed at the puppy jokes as Billy nails a neckbreaker, but Debra unbuttons her top to show off her bra. Billy simply drops his tights and hits a Fameasser on Jarrett but Owen comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. That’s almost out of pity as these matches have just been awful tonight. The tag matches make sense for Sunday, but I don’t see the point in having one team win both of the matches. The puppy stuff would dominate anything to do with women for about the next three years, much to JR’s annoyances.

Debra takes off her jacket but Jeff covers her bra with the guitar.

Rock won’t give an interview to WWF.com and tells the interviewer to get him some fruit.

Viscera vs. Big Show

They lock up to start and Big Show easily shoves him to the mat. Viscera takes him into the corner for some fat man splashes, only to get crushed with a clothesline. A rather impressive hiptoss puts Viscera down but he comes back with more fat man splashes. Big Show kicks him in the face to drop Viscera again but the lights go out as he loads up the chokeslam. We’ll say it’s a no contest here after your usual battle of the huge men match.

Undertaker and Paul Bearer come to the ring and we get the real showdown with Big Show. They slug it out and both try chokeslams but Viscera gets back up for the double team. Big Show still won’t go down but Undertaker punches him onto one knee. Mankind comes out to even things up but Undertaker leaves Viscera alone. Big Show superkicks Viscera to the floor. It really is amazing how much bigger Show is than Viscera, who is a massive man.

We look at Shane taking over the Corporation last week.

Vince and Stephanie are in Connecticut for a sitdown interview with Michael Cole. Vince says he’s always been proud of Shane but he wasn’t always there for him. Shane missed a lot as well because Vince wasn’t there, but Vince wasn’t proud last week. Stephanie can’t believe what Shane has done recently but knows that the only person that can keep her safe is Vince.

Security interrupts the interview and says something is going on in the parking lot. Vince tells the guards to stay there with Stephanie and goes after whoever is in the parking lot. It turns out to be Mideon and Vince beats the tar out of him before trying to crush Mideon with his own car. Mideon escapes and gets into the car as we go to a break.

Here’s Val Venis to say he’s solved the Y2K problem. All the ladies have to do is add a few extra bytes of ram from his hard drive and everything will be fine. This brings out Sable who says that’s nice, but she’s got bigger news: in two weeks, she’ll be shooting her second Playboy pictorial. This brings out Ivory and D’Lo Brown and the double brawl is on for no apparent reason. Now Sable’s bodyguard Nicole Bass comes out to destroy Ivory with a chokeslam. Val seems to have eyes for Sable.

It’s time for Rock to deliver the eulogy for Austin. Rock sets the tone with “Dearly trailer park trash”. Oh we could be in for a good one here. Rock isn’t sure if a roody poo like Steve Austin will fit in that casket before we get the real point of this: Rock opens his jacket to reveal the Smoking Skull belt. He runs his mouth about Backlash a bit until you can hear an engine revving.

We go outside and Austin is in a 3:16 monster truck. He goes over to the Rock’s car and puts it in the middle of the parking lot before getting back in the monster truck. Austin teases it a bit by driving around the Lincoln Continental a few times before crushing the brand new $40,000 car, sending Rock into a frenzy.

With that nice and destroyed, Austin drives the truck into the arena and beers are consumed. Back into the truck and Austin runs over the hearse before the fight is on. Rock barely gets in a single shot before Austin nails him with the belt to send Rock into the grave. Austin poses with the title but Shane comes in (remember that he’s the referee on Sunday) and breaks a shovel over Austin’s head to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is where Vince Russo was in need of the leash more than ever. All the stuff in the middle of this show was about as dreadful as you can get because it keeps going so fast that you can’t keep up with anything at all. However, there’s good stuff on both ends of the show that make it worth seeing. As for a go home show though, this really didn’t hold up well either. Most of the matches were just glossed over and the pay per view sounds like it’s going to be a big commercial for the next night’s Raw. That being said, it’s still better than anything WCW was doing at this point and that’s all that mattered.

Here’s Backlash if you’re interested:

Team 3D. I can live with this, though the real life stuff keeping AJ and Jarrett out continue to keep this from having the required members.

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