Monday Nitro #215
Date: November 22, 1999
Location: Palace of Auburn Hills, Auburn Hills, Michigan
Attendance: 11,449
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

We’re past Mayhem now and Bret Hart is the new WCW World Champion, actually winning the title mostly clean over Chris Benoit in the Sharpshooter. The next big night for the company is about a month away at Starrcade, meaning it’s time to see what Russo considers a big idea. This would be different than a small match with only four run-ins, a ref bump and a weapon being used. Let’s get to it.

Jeff Jarrett is in the back and ranting about how he’s the chosen one.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Bret to open things up with a very shiny title. He’s finally here after a long two years but it was all worth it and this title is for his father Stu. As for things around here, what happened to Goldberg hasn’t been cool so Bret thinks he should give Goldberg a title shot at Starrcade. Cue the Outsiders with Hall mocking everything Bret says, as you would expect him to.

Maybe Bret should take some lessons from the Outsiders because they took WCW to where it is today. That joke easily writes itself. They want a match against Bret and Goldberg tonight and Bret says of course, but Jarrett sneaks in and blasts Bret with the guitar. Like any good heel, he leaves with the belt.

Curt Hennig is in the back and says he can’t wrestle, but he can say goodbye to everyone. He turns around and sees the Maestro playing the piano. Nothing else happens, and Maestro will be playing there all night long. Why? Because that’s what Maestro does I suppose.

Konnan tells Kidman to stop worrying about his missing camera.

Tony Marinara is with the Mamalukes, better known as Big Vito and Johnny the Bull. Vito wants a cheese sandwich, and he says it so convincingly that I want to buy him a sandwich. They plan on putting a horse’s head in someone’s bed, then realize they don’t know whose bed it is. Marinara threatens to call his father the Don and reminds them that it’s Disco.

Luger is with the Powers That Be and tells them that he can book Liz in matches due to owning her contract. They agree, so tonight it’s Liz vs. Meng. I do enjoy them pretending that this is going to be a match instead of an angle.

Liz is horrified. Me too. What a stupid story.

Tag Team Titles: Konnan/Kidman vs. Creative Control

Whoa! A match! The twins are challenging. Kidman gets launched into the air for two to start before the other twin plants him with a slam. Gerald gets dropkicked down though and the hot tag brings in Konnan to clean house. We cut to the screen to show Eddie and Torrie in the locker room talking. Kidman freaks out and runs to the back, even though they were just casually talking. The monsters don’t really need the help though as a spinning belly to back suplex gives them the titles.

Rating: D-. Well so much for the Filthy Animals, as they’ve gone from Russo’s favorite toy to seemingly about to split in the span of about a month. I can’t say I’m complaining though as they were one of the most annoying acts I’ve ever seen. The wrestling was fine but my goodness their talking got old fast.

Kidman goes after Eddie, but Heenan points out the correct observation: they were just talking and laughing a bit. Nothing implied that something was going on.

Goldberg and Hart aren’t sure how to deal with the Outsiders and Jarrett in the same night. Goldberg says he’ll fight the Outsiders on his own and Bret can go after Jarrett. It won’t necessarily be a handicap match either.

Skye can’t talk Spice out of fighting Tygress tonight.

With the piano music still playing, Hennig and Buff agree that there are no hard feelings about the whole forcing Curt into retirement thing.

Here’s Hardcore Champion Norman Smiley. He’s the REAL hardcore man around here. When you look up the definition of hardcore in the dictionary, you see his tough mug. This morning, he drank a glass of milk that was TWO DAYS PAST EXPIRATION! It’s open challenge time and here’s Fit Finlay to scare the milk out of Norman. He kicks Smiley low and puts on his football helmet for a headbutt. The Regal Roll leaves Smiley laying despite being the funniest guy in the company in a long time.

The announcers recap the show thus far.

Liz can’t talk Luger out of putting her in this match. Maestro is still playing and has barely been acknowledged all night.

Hall thinks he’s figured out Goldberg’s plan. He can’t confirm it, but it might involve spears and Jackhammers.

Chavo Guerrero is selling the Mamalukes some gold chains when Disco comes in, freaks out, and leaves.

Tenay tells Jarrett that he has a match with Bret coming up tonight so Jarrett throws him out. Well, he’s got the jerk role down.

Evan Karagias vs. Saturn

Non-title. Evan stops to kiss Madusa at the start and gets suplexed out of his shoes for his efforts. The Death Valley Driver is countered into a sunset flip for two as we have a hippie coming over to commentary. It’s Brad Armstrong in yet another new gimmick called Buzzkill (Heenan: “How do you do Mr. Kill?”) because he needs a personality. Saturn throws Evan again and puts on the Rings of Saturn for the quick win. Some champion.

Kidman yells about Eddie going beyond Filthy Animal business and wants a match with him later tonight. That could be good.

Eddie reads off a cue card (some of the most obvious I’ve ever seen) about Kidman not understanding what’s going on and proving it in the ring tonight.

Vampiro vs. The Wall

Ferrara and Williams come out for commentary. Well one of them anyway. Vampiro slugs away to start and knocks Wall to the floor but the big man kicks him in the ribs to take over. You can imagine what Ferrara is talking about. The Misfits help their buddy out but Wall shrugs it off and beats on Vampiro inside. Vampiro’s kicks put him down but Berlyn comes in with a chair for the DQ.

Wall isn’t pleased and the Germans come to blows, breaking up the long standing partnership after all of two months. After they leave, Williams beats up the Misfits but eats a spinning kick to the face from Vampiro.

Liz jumps inside a shark cage because they just have one around.

A limo arrives.

WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Bret Hart

Jeff is wearing the title after stealing it earlier in the night. Of course this main events the first hour instead of the entire show. Bret slugs away to start and takes Jeff into the corner for right hands and a boot choke. Outside now with Jeff going into the barricade before they head inside where Bret gets crotched on the top rope. Back to the floor again as they can’t make up their mind. Jeff slams him head first onto the announcers’ table as this wrestling thing just doesn’t do it for either guy these days.

They get back inside for a sleeper on the champ but he suplexes his way out to put both guys down. The Five Moves get some near falls and Jeff gets the same off a middle rope clothesline. Jeff kicks him to the floor and Creative Control swarms Bret, drawing in Dustin Rhodes to clock Jarrett with the title. Bret didn’t see a thing and covers to retain.

Rating: D+. I really wasn’t feeling this one as they were all over the place out there and brawling instead of wrestling like these two could do in their sleep. But then again, why should either of them care at this point? Bret’s heart clearly isn’t in it and they’ve wasted him this long, so why should be believe it’s going to get any better?

The Mamalukes come up to the Maestro, who has the former Ryan Shamrock next to him, and ask for some Sinatra. Karaoke is performed in one of the only times all night that Maestro has been acknowledged.

Luger is trying to get Liz to come out of the cage. This girls in cages idea has to be some Russo fetish. She finally gives it up but Luger says the match is still on. Eh points for making him even more evil. On the other hand, points taken away for leaving her locked inside the cage and saying he’ll put it in the ring. After a break, Liz tries to get Sting to help her but he says to lay in the cage she’s made.

Kidman vs. Eddie Guerrero

Torrie is in a blue swimsuit top and matching blue pants with her hair tied back. You can imagine the reactions. Why she changed since we saw her with Eddie earlier isn’t clear. Konnan comes out with Eddie but Kidman dives over the top to take Eddie down before the bell. They head in for the first time with Eddie getting hammered in the corner. That goes as far as it can so Guerrero suplexes Kidman over the top and out to the floor in a big crash.

After a whip to the barricade, Eddie takes him back inside for some knees to the ribs. The camera keeps focusing on Torrie and throwing the announcers off. I can cut them some slack on this one. Kidman gets hit low trying a leapfrog and the match slows down quite a bit. The Revolution comes out to jump Konnan to pick things up and because that feud just won’t die. The distraction lets Kidman come back with right hands to Eddie, setting up the Shooting Star but Torrie asks him for help, allowing Eddie to superplex him down and nail the Frog Splash for the pin.

Rating: C. That wasn’t bad but I could go for anything but the Revolution vs. Filthy Animals going forward. Hopefully this leads to the Animals breaking up though as I can’t take much more of their stupid catchphrases and slang that makes no sense. Or the whole being thieves that I’m supposed to cheer.

Creative Control is asked which is Patrick and both point to the other. Quick one line jokes are Russo’s strong suit. Their next assignments are to find Duggan (“Big goof, one kidney”) and find out who is in the limo.

Skye asks Spice not to fight tonight but Spice has to do what a girl has to do.

Meng vs. Elizabeth

Liz, still in the shark cage, is brought in on a forklift. Meng of course attacks the cage but can’t break through. Luger offers him the key and gets put in the Tongan Death Grip as a result, drawing out Sting with the bat to lay out the monster. He unlocks Liz and they leave after a non-match. Or did Meng win by DQ?

Jim Duggan asks Maestro to play Chopsticks.

Lash Leroux vs. Disco Inferno

Disco is so scared of the mob guys that he doesn’t even dance and starts the match quickly. They trade hammerlocks and armdrags to start as Disco keeps looking over his shoulder. Cue the mob guys to scare Disco even more, but Johnny accidentally trips Lash, allowing Disco to take over. Disco stomps away but Lash pops back up with a sunset flip and Whiplash for the pin.

The mob comes in to stomp Disco, only to have Lash make the save. Marinara tries to come in but gets put to sleep and thrown into a white body bag.

Creative Control tries to see inside the limo to no avail. After a break, the twins say they have nothing to do with the limo’s car alarm going off. It should be their limo though since they’re the champs now.

The Powers yell at Duggan for messing up the bathroom last week, so Russo has been eating prunes all day. Duggan gets to clean the toilet with a toothbrush.

Tygress vs. Spice

Let’s get this over with. Spice is dressed as a schoolgirl and Tygress is in a leopard print body suit. Tygress easily takes her down and the fans are dead. Back up and Spice hits a kind of running tackle and we’re in catfight mode. A snapmare puts Tygress down and the announcers of course freak. Cue Skye (Stacy, in a leather skirt that might be nine inches long) with a makeup bag to knock Spice out.

Skye and Tygress put makeup on Spice. I can’t imagine this story continuing.

We go to the back to talk to…..MENG? As the Maestro keeps laying just because, Meng speaks (!), saying he wants Sting in a No DQ match tonight with Sting using the bat. So Meng is ok with someone hitting him in the head with a bat. Why would you EVER take him up on that? I know Sting is stupid but my goodness. Speaking of my goodness, MENG DOES NOT TALK. This is just a step below WWE ECW having Sabu speak. You just don’t do it.

Here’s Hennig for his big farewell. After a hug to Heenan, Curt can barely speak. He keeps trying but a PERFECT chant cuts him off and he leaves with tears in his eyes.

We see the limo again.

Duggan finds Russo’s toothbrush and cleans the toilet with it. You know this is coming back later.

Cue Roddy Piper of all people for the first time in about four months. He rips into writers, ranting about how they put in all these women and T&A and having a bunch of stupid entrances. This is actually exactly what you would expect him to say. The mic is quickly cut off, so Piper grabs a camera guy and takes him to the back to meet with the Powers That Be.

After kicking the door in, Piper is stunned to see Russo (well, despite them flat out saying it was Russo since he debuted, how could Piper know? Did he really expect there to be a body there instead of just an arm?) and tells the boss that he has a contract, guaranteeing that he appears on TV. Russo says Piper has a bad hip and is almost 50 so he needs to go join Ric and Hulk in Florida. Piper can be on TV though, but it’s going to be as a referee. Piper fumes about it, then walks to his limo saying “Yes sir” over and over. Somehow, this fits him perfectly.

Buff Bagwell vs. Booker T.

Booker gets taken down by a nice armdrag to start and it’s time to dance. They lock up and Creative Control is out before we can even get a minute into the match. Buff clotheslines him down and they head to the floor for….nothing. Ok then. Back in and Booker nails the kicks and the Spinarooni, only to have to nail one of the twins instead of covering. The distraction lets Buff nail a Blockbuster, but the other twin distracts the referee so the first can stomp Bagwell. Cue Hennig to talk to the twins….and then stomp Bagwell. One of the twins covers Buff and the bell rings because of whatever their reason is this week.

Rating: D. So Hennig spent weeks getting beaten up by whoever Russo threw at him and then joined them anyway. I’m so glad we’ve moved past that NWO era and are now getting the same thing from a yet to be named group led by the Powers That Be. Is there any team Hennig hasn’t joined since he’s been in WCW?

Midnight comes out for the save.

The Powers welcome Hennig to the team. If you can’t beat em, join em you see, even though he won several of the matches.

Liz offers to manage Sting against Meng tonight.

Asya vs. Madusa

This could be gloriously horrible. They’re already fighting on the floor before the bell finishes ringing. Asya drives her into the barricade but Madusa gets in some kicks to the ribs. Back in (assuming they were in there in the first place) with Madusa lifting her up in an electric chair before firing off even more kicks. Asya slams her off the top and puts on a leg choke for the submission while Saturn beats up Karagias on general principle.

Malenko doesn’t like seeing Canadians fighting for an American prize. Tonight he’s going to show Benoit how much he cares about Canada with a blowtorch. The anthem is changing from O Canada to BURN CANADA BURN. This is going to hurt isn’t it?

Chris Benoit vs. Dean Malenko

Double flag match, which is close enough to a pole match that I’m considering it one. Benoit pulls Dean’s hockey jersey over his face hockey style, setting up some knees to the ribs. The fans of course chant USA. I have no idea which flag they need to pull down and Heenan is too busy making hockey jokes. Benoit heads outside and grabs…..gasoline. Oh geez this isn’t ending well is it?

Malenko saves himself from being set on fire (just go with it) with a low blow but Benoit chops him in the corner. Is that like a Canadian defense mechanism or something? Benoit stops Dean from getting the Canadian flag and puts him in the Tree of Woe for a good looking baseball slide. He whips Malenko in but Dean drops to his knees to beg for mercy. Oh come on now. Thankfully Benoit dropkicks him in the face, only to be sent throat first into the bottom rope, allowing Malenko to get the Canadian flag for the win. Tony makes it even worse by saying you had to get your own flag but I really can’t bring myself to care.

Rating: D. This wasn’t much of a match but Benoit’s dropkicks looked good. It’s just so depressing watching Malenko have to put up with this nonsense which he clearly hates doing. At least it was fast though and it’s a sad day when you have to say that about a Malenko vs. Benoit match.

The Revolution comes in with a barrel and throw in the Canadian flag. That’s not enough though as they throw in the American one as well, but thankfully Bret runs in for the save. He hands Benoit the Canadian flag and waves the American one because why not. See, this is where the Revolution dies right in front of you. Russo seemed to think they were paramilitary or something similar so that’s what we’re getting: people who hate Canada and the US as well. I’m not sure how we got here from guys tired of the older generation hogging the main event and honestly, I’m not sure I want to know because it might scare me.

The Powers call Juventud Guerrera into their office to ask about an expired work visa. Juvy offers the Powers some tequila and Russo spits it out. He’d like his toothbrush please (you knew it was coming), despite clearly just being an arm with a voicebox attached.

Meng vs. Sting

No DQ and Sting is in a t-shirt again. Meng goes right after him to start, possibly worried that the poly/cotton blend might chafe Sting’s toned chest. Liz comes out to watch as Sting finally gets out of the jacket, revealing leather pants. Huh? Sting avoids an elbow but turns down Liz’s offer of the mace can. The Stinger Splash has Meng in trouble but here’s Luger. Sting grabs him, possibly to ask for hair tips, setting up the Tongan Death Grip to give Meng the win, which I’m sure is totally leading somewhere right?

Liz checks on Sting post match.

Nash shouts for someone to come on….but Hall is in the other direction. I don’t see this ending well.

Goldberg asks his partner if he’s ready.

David Flair FINALLY breaks up Maestro’s piano with the crowbar, probably turning into one of the biggest faces in the promotion as a result. Well assuming the fans can actually see these segments.

Outsiders vs. Goldberg/???

Nash gets to wear the TV Title, which you would think is way beneath him. Somehow this is the first time Tony explains that Hall is the US and TV Champion. You would think that would have been brought up earlier in the night, but we had piano issues to discuss. Now the stupid/shocking move here would be to go with Sid as Goldberg’s partner in an act of respect for all the hard fou…..oh of course it’s Sid so I’m not even bothering with the sarcasm here. They’re acting like best friends now of course and don’t have the slightest bit of animosity.

Hall and Goldberg get things going but Scott throws the toothpick at Sid to draw him in. The referee actually does his job for once and it’s off to Sid. Hall is casually shoved across the ring and Sid does it again for good measure. Tony tries to pass this off as a big respect thing but it’s just not working.

The Outsiders have to fight out of a double chokeslam attempt and it’s off to Nash for some big right hands. A running boot to the face drops Nash though and it’s time for the Starrcade rematch. Nash gets put with a superkick and I can’t believe this has held together so long. Some good old fashioned cheating gives the Outsiders a breather but Goldberg just plants Scott with a powerslam. Another cheap shot slows Goldberg down so Sid hits one of his own (with the bandaged arm) on Hall to even things out.

Nash comes in for the standard corner offensive package and it’s back to Hall for a front facelock. Old school missed tag to Sid gets us nowhere so Goldberg clotheslines both Outsiders at the same time. Sid comes in to clean house and chokeslams Hall, followed by a big spear. The powerbomb connects but Nash sneaks in while the referee is with Goldberg and drops an elbow (just a regular elbow) on Sid to give Hall the fluke pin.

Rating: D+. This was……shockingly watchable actually. The cheating end was as tame an ending to a Russo main event as there has been yet and this was a really by the book, standard tag formula power match. I mean, it wasn’t anything good but for a TV main event in this era to actually be calm and follow the rules is stunning.

Goldberg and Nash fight until security pulls them apart to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. It’s a slightly better show this week with a few less things to get annoyed at, but the Maestro thing got annoying in a hurry. I’m still trying to get over that main event though as it was a totally calm and rational match without a bunch of insanity throughout. It’s nice that they’re focusing on Starrcade already but the stuff in the middle is going to hurt them in the long run. I mean, do we need to see the Revolution trying to burn flags or the Hennig nonsense? It’s also annoying that Luger and Sting have one of the most logical stories on the roster while everyone else is a mess. Fix that and the show will improve.

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Mayhem 1999
Date: November 21, 1999
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 13,839
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

It’s tournament time with the final four participants in the World Title tournament squaring off to find out who Russo has decided should be his first World Heavyweight Champion. Other than that, we have a bunch of stupid gimmick matches for stories that make next to no sense and are likely there to make fun of the WWF and expose the business as much as possible. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the tournament, which for some reason had 32 people involved (or however many it was when you take out all of the Madusas) and we hear about how the final four got here. Just so you know what’s going on, they recap EVERY SINGLE MATCH before they get to the important ones. Two and a half minutes into the recap, we know the final four names.

Opening video. Wait that wasn’t what we just watched?

The announcers, with Tony in a snazzy suit, preview the show and try to talk over the WE WANT FLAIR chants. I think this is the first time we hear the card in full.

WCW World Title Tournamet Semi-Finals: Jeff Jarrett vs. Chris Benoit

Guess who the fans are behind here. Jeff tries to jump Benoit from the bell but gets chopped into the corner for a tornado DDT for two. A top rope superplex gets two for Benoit less than two minutes in as he’s coming out swinging here. He misses a baseball slide but wins a quick chop off on the floor. That earns him a crotching against the post as the American takes over.

Back in and Jeff gets two off a powerslam (that’s a rare one for him) and almost drops him in a vertical suplex. There’s the sleeper as you can see fans posing to see themselves on the big screen. Normally I would say watch what you paid for, but I’d be stunned if a good chunk of that arena wasn’t papered. Benoit reverses into a sleeper of his own but Jeff belly to backs his way to freedom. Something like an Irish Curse (I won’t bother saying “Canadian Curse?” as it’s WAY too easy of a joke) sets up the Rolling Germans for two on Jeff and here are Creative Control to prevent a good match from breaking out.

Jarrett hot shots him to the floor but Benoit comes back in and rolls through a high cross body for two. A belly to back sets up the Swan Dive but Creative Control breaks it up and lays out Benoit, allowing Jarrett to hit the Stroke. Cue Dustin Rhodes to fight Creative Control as Benoit kicks out at two. The guitar is brought in but Benoit takes it away and blasts Jeff (totally against his character of course) to go to the finals.

Rating: B-. Dang it they almost had me there for a second. I almost thought we were going to get a good match from beginning to end between two talented guys who can work whatever kind of match you ask. But alas, it took three run-ins and a weapon to make this REALLY interesting. It was nice while it lasted though.

Benoit gets beaten down post match and the fans think Jarrett, who isn’t even involved in the show at this point but he used to be in the WWF and therefore matters, sucks.

Disco Inferno insists he cares about the title but is curious how much the gold is worth. He’s bet $25,000 on himself tonight because there’s NO WAY he could lose to Karagias. Jarrett and Creative Control lays him out due to frustration.

Cruiserweight Title: Evan Karagias vs. Disco Inferno

Disco is defending but is also running from gambling bosses who want the money he owes them. The banged up champion has Tony Marinara in his corner but Evan jumps Disco in the aisle, but the referee starts the match anyway. The bell rings and they get inside with Evan getting two off a clothesline. Marinara joins commentary to ask why Heenan is called the Brain. Heenan goes to answer but fugitaboutit. He’s Italian you see. Disco fights back but Evan does some leapfrogs into a dropkick for two. Feel the workrate baby!

A springboard twisting cross body gets two on the champ as the fans have died quite a bit since the opener. Imagine that. The announcers discuss what Schiavone is paid before talking about haircuts. Madusa offers a distraction and we get an awkward, mostly messed up sequence into a rollup from Evan for two. A nice Russian legsweep plants Karagias and the dancing elbow (complete with a kiss to Madusa) gets the same.

Disco throws him to the floor, unfortunately causing Madusa to walk towards the camera. Back in and Evan’s splash hits knees as the fans are REALLY not impressed. With Evan down, Disco goes outside to hit on Madusa. That goes as well as you would expect so Marinara gets leaves the booth to try his hand with Madusa. Evan goes after Tony, who gets chaired in the head by Disco. Tony: “What else can go wrong?” Oh you don’t want to ask that Schiavone. Evan hits a high cross body for the pin and the title, plus $25,000. That makes no sense but whatever.

Rating: D+. Here’s the problem: these matches aren’t cruiserweight style matches. They’re matches that happen to have cruiserweights involved. Evan wrestles a cruiserweight style but he’s just not very good at it. The gambling story is interesting but as usual there’s too much going on in the same match to keep track of it. It didn’t help that Marinara’s HORRIBLE Italian stereotype made the commentary even more horrible.

Bret Hart arrives half an hour into the show.

Russo tells a bloody Jarrett to prove himself by the end of the show or his favors are over.

Norman Smiley is scared of construction workers but is ready for the Hardcore Title match. Well he’s in luck then.

Hardcore Title: Norman Smiley vs. Brian Knobbs

The title is vacant coming in and I believe this is for the inaugural championship. I’ve seen this billed as a tournament final but I don’t remember anything but Knobbs getting to face the winner of a match. Norman comes out in Maple Leafs gear to keep the fans behind him. Brian hammers him down with whatever weapons he could find to start but misses a middle rope trashcan shot. Some hockey sticks onto the trashcan onto Knobbs has Brian in trouble but he breaks up the HARDCORE WIGGLE. That’s like the Big Wiggle, but HARDCORE. What’s HARDCORE about it isn’t clear but it’s 1999 so you have to say HARDCORE in a loud voice.

Knobbs finally has a good idea and takes off some of Norman’s pads, only to get nailed in the head with a trashcan lid. Norman goes after Jimmy Hart though, allowing Brian to knocks Smiley into the cart full of weapons. They stagger backstage and just happen to run into a waiting camera crew.

Knobbs sends him through a table and breaks a crutch over Norman’s back. They fight by the hamburger buns and Knobbs’ face is RED. Jimmy throws cans of soup at Norman and this is finally getting to be kind of entertaining. They fight into an elevator and the doors close…..but unfortunately open again with Jimmy hitting Brian with a trashcan by mistake to give Norman the pin and the loudest pop of his career.

Rating: C-. See, the way to make the hardcore matches entertaining is to take them out of the ringside area. These things are so much better when they get creative with them instead of just doing the same weapons spots over and over again. I mean, would you want to try to make something out of Brian Knobbs without mixing things up a bit?

Knobbs beats Norman up post match.

We recap the Revolution vs. the Filthy Animals, which is built around kidnapping Torrie Wilson. This story made little secret about it being a way to showcase Torrie, which was one of the best ideas they could have had here.

The Revolution wants to see Torrie get stuck alone without help.

The Animals speak whatever language they use. In a genuinely funny moment, Gene stares at Konnan, so Konnan asks if it’s the hat or the belt this time. Gene in a deadpan voice: “Hat.” Torrie is going to use the Revolution as toothpicks or something.

Marinara is bringing the boys to deal with Disco tomorrow. Disco thinks he’s a dead man.

Jarrett has a 2×4 and is going to deal with someone. That would be the fourth promo segment in 90 seconds on a pay per view.

Revolution vs. Filthy Animals

It’s Saturn/Malenko/Asya vs. Guerrero/Kidman/Torrie and this is elimination rules. Kidman and Guerrero storm the ring to start fast as Douglas sits in on commentary. That’s a very repetitive theme for WCW these days. Eddie backdrops Dean to officially start and the fans chant for Torrie. The guys fall to the floor so Saturn takes both of them out with an Asai Moonsault.

Kidman dives on all of them but a Canadian clown pokes Malenko with a Canadian flag. They treat it like a real fan but you never can tell around here. The girls go at it with Asya getting the better of it but walking into a BK Bomb. Eddie checks on Torrie but shoves Kidman into a rollup for the elimination. After about four seconds of the Revolution’s theme music plays, the Revolution guys jump Eddie and the Animals are in trouble. Saturn kicks Eddie in the back from the apron as Konnan leaves as well. Some teammate.

Asya suplexes Eddie for a round of applause, even though she would be an appetizer for Chyna. Off to Dean who gets dropkicked into the corner, setting up a hurricanrana from Eddie for the elimination. Not quite Hostile City Showdown but that might be entertaining. Saturn t-bones Guerrero down as Torrie is on the floor like a manager due to a bad ankle injury. Heel miscommunication (another running theme tonight) sees Saturn superkick Asya, setting up the Frog Splash to make it 2-1.

It’s Saturn with a northern lights suplex for two as you can see a “Who booked this crap” sign in the front row. Eddie gets out of a sleeper with a jawbreaker and puts on one of his own, only to get tossed down by a belly to back (not a t-bone Tony). A tornado DDT gets two for Eddie but he walks into the Death Valley Driver for a near fall, sending Douglas into a panic. Saturn misses his great looking top rope elbow but rolls through a high cross body into the Rings of Saturn to make Eddie give up. So it’s Saturn vs. Torrie with the girl kicking him low for two. Douglas low blows Torrie with his cast to give Saturn the pin.

Rating: C. This was decent due to the talent in there and Torrie in general but there wasn’t much of chance with how fast the eliminations went down. What was the point of the eliminations anyway? Other than having an unnecessary stipulation, I don’t know why they needed to put it out there. Couldn’t they put Torrie on a pole or something?

Jarrett and Creative Control lays out Bagwell, even though that would be hurting his chances to get rid of Hennig, even though the Powers That Be seem to want to get rid of Bagwell at the same time.

Curt Hennig vs. Buff Bagwell

Loser retires, which makes you wonder why the Powers That Be didn’t give Hennig this stipulation from the start. Or why Buff is in this stipulation at all. Creative Control and Jarrett come in to beat down Hennig and the bell rings as the attack begins. Bagwell comes out with the 2×4 to make the save but Hennig decks him anyway because both of their careers are on the line. The fans chant PERFECT as he takes it to the floor and walks Bagwell around ringside.

Hennig gets in a rant that I couldn’t understand on the headset before they head back inside. Buff knocks him right back to the floor for an ax handle off the apron. Back inside with Buff in control, which Tony interprets as being all Hennig. Curt takes over a few seconds later with a legdrop between Buff’s legs for a smattering of applause. Off to a sleeper (I believe the fifth of the night) before Hennig chokes Buff with Buff’s necklace. That goes nowhere so it’s right back to the sleeper.

An elbow drop with a biceps flex gets two for Curt but Buff claims gimmick infringement and takes control as a penalty. Heenan tries to say this is the most important match of their careers and you can tell he doesn’t believe a word of it. A Blockbuster out of nowhere (seriously, they were just trading punches before it hit) makes Hennig retire. They keep using the term “hang up his boots”, which he’ll probably do literally before taking a pair from the Powers and turning heel.

Rating: D-. I have no idea what happened in this story and it was clear that they just gave up trying about three minutes in. I’m still not sure how we got to this match and why the Powers want to get rid of either guy, but the match was horrible most of the way around. Bad stuff and why do I not believe Hennig is really gone?

Hennig gets a standing ovation from the respectful crowd.

Sting says we may be in Canada but it’s still Showtime.

To give you an idea of Russo’s pace, we’re not even halfway through this show and we have seven matches left. For a comparison, Wrestlemania XXX and XXXI had seven matches total.

WCW World Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Sting vs. Bret Hart

Recent DVD releases suggest that Bret is really proud of this one. Sting has already started wrestling in the t-shirt. They shove each other around to start and stare each other in the face before Bret wins a slugout. Tony: “Those have authority!” Something I’ve always wondered: whose authority is that?

It goes outside with Bret still in control before taking it back inside for the Five Moves of Doom. Sting, having seen ANY Bret match ever, is easily able to break them up. Yes, Sting was actually smart. It’s shocking I know but it does happen occasionally. Sting sends him into the buckle but Bret kicks him in the ribs. I guess his horrible knee injury from a few weeks ago is just fine now. A low blow from Sting (who seemed to have turned face again recently) puts Bret down and we hit sleeper number 8 or so tonight.

Back outside for some reason with being sent into the announcers’ table. The Stinger Splash hits the table (at least it wasn’t the barricade again) to change control and they head back inside. Sting pulls the referee in the way of a top rope forearm because we need to get to the interference. As luck would have it, here are Luger and Liz with the former hitting Sting in the knee with the bat.

Bret isn’t cool with that and puts Lex in the Sharpshooter, but that’s a DQ win for Hart. He doesn’t want it that way though so he goes through the Five Moves, gets kicked in the face, and counters the Scorpion into the Sharpshooter to make Sting tap. Again, Russo has no idea how his characters work.

Rating: D+. That’s what he was proud of? It was decent enough but as usual it turned into a brawl instead because neither guy seemed interested in doing a match. They need to pick a side for Sting, but NOT ONE THAT TAPS OUT. Just totally against his character but why should that matter to Russo? I mean, he’s just a wrestler. Interesting coincidence here: the two semi-final matches had exactly the same time at 9:27 each.

Sting shakes Bret’s hand to turn face again I guess.

Benoit says it would be an honor to beat Hart for the title in Canada.

Luger already has a surgical collar on and doesn’t think he can compete tonight against Meng.

Vampiro vs. Berlyn

Dog Collar match just because. You win by pins or submission. In case this isn’t enough, Dr. Death and Ferrara as JR come out with the latter doing commentary. Berlyn hits the referee with the collar as Ferrara lists off football stats. The Misfits are sent to the floor as Wall beats up Vampiro. Wall misses a big boot and gets crotched with the chain as Berlyn stomps on Jerry Only outside. That doesn’t hurt Wall’s bricks though so Vampiro slams him down.

Berlyn comes back in and stomps Vampiro down, only to have Wall put the collar around his own neck. A HUGE chokeslam puts Vampiro down and Wall covers for two. That angers Berlyn but the referee keeps counting anyway. Wall, minus the sunglasses now, throws the collar at Berlyn (Ferrara: “COLLAR! COLLAR! COLLAR!”) and walks away. Vampiro hits a spinwheel kick and throws him down with a release superplex. Now Only gets in for a double suplex, followed by a Vampiro camel clutch with the chain to make Berlyn tap. Vampiro and Berlyn were never attached by the chain.

Rating: F. Next. That’s all I’ve got. Next.

Williams beats up Vampiro and Only, because this whole mess was there so we could have a laugh at JR’s expense. It wasn’t a funny laugh but it was indeed a laugh.

Rick Steiner has forfeited the TV Title and, news to me, was scheduled to defend against Scott Hall tonight. Therefore Hall is now a double champion and issues an open challenge for both titles tonight.

Hennig leaves.

Kimberly is just getting here.

Meng vs. Total Package

Luger is wrestling in the surgical collar. Meng hammers on him to start and no sells a slam. That takes them to the floor with Meng dominating, but Tony thinks the neck brace is a way to block the Tongan Death Grip. And yes, that is EXACTLY the point of the thing. Back in and Meng tries the Death Grip to no avail. Meng chokes in the corner (should that work either?) and Luger screams for help. Luger: “HELP!” See? He screamed for help.

Luger tries a headbutt to about as much avail as you would expect and Meng runs him over a few more times. A kick to the face gets two and Meng chokes on the ropes, only to pull Luger up so Liz maces Luger by mistake (same deal that started the feud). Meng takes off the brace and puts on the Death Grip to win.

Rating: D-. A month ago Luger went over Bret on pay per view and now he’s jobbing to Meng in five minutes. This was a one idea match and it made Meng out to be a one move wrestler. I could have seen this sort of thing on Thunder but instead we get it late in the second hour of a pay per view. Only in Russo World. Also only in Russo World can Liz play Jimmy Hart to Luger’s Brian Knobbs and Meng’s Norman Smiley as it’s basically the exact same ending from an hour ago.

Bret says he’s been here for two years and is going to win the title he deserves. Luger can be heard shouting for Liz as he’s talking.

David Flair is polishing his crowbar in anticipation of holding Kimberly down against her will or making her scream that she can’t take it anymore.

TV Title/US Title: Scott Hall vs. ???

After the survey, with Hall saying Nash is on his way, the open challenge is answered by…..Booker T. Well he does deserve a big spot like this. If nothing else, Booker is the second young guy to get a shot at a main event star tonight. Ignore the commentators’ surprise after his music came on for a second and then went back off. Hall is insanely over because this is Canada and if you were over in the WWF, you were over forever. For life you might say.

Hall drives the shoulders in to start but Booker hook kicks him for two and some booing. A forearm puts Hall on the floor and he has to check for loose teeth. Back in and the chokeslam and fall away slam have Booker in trouble and a clothesline puts him on the floor. Hall puts on a sleeper and we’ve got Jarrett plus Creative Control. Tony makes sure to point out that they’re Patrick and Gerald because that’s so funny. Booker fights out and kicks both twins down but gets caught in the Outsider’s Edge to retain the titles.

Rating: D. It’s a shame too as this could have been a good match had they just let these guys fight. In theory this is just Booker getting screwed by the Powers and not Hall being on their side, unless there’s some grand scheme to get all the titles on a select group of Russo backed wrestlers. Nah that couldn’t happen.

Midnight comes out for the save.

Luger is still trying to find Liz.

We recap David Flair vs. Kimberly. So Kimberly tried to get David to sleep with her for reasons not clear, but she wound up sleeping with Ric instead. That sent David into insanity so she ran him over with a car. He was crazy enough to no sell it and has turned into a B-movie stalker ever since. Note that instead of Ric vs. Page in what could be a decent match, this is the best we can get.

Kimberly vs. David Flair

After running scared of David for weeks, Kimberly comes out in leather pants and a low cut backless top with a smirk on her face (she looks great in other words). David no sells a low blow and shoves the referee down, so Kimberly drops to her knees. You know what the fans are chanting. She unbuckles his pants and takes out the cup he was wearing before getting in some kicks as the fans turn on this mess. David stands up so here are Kanyon and Page (Why was he not with his wife all night???) to lay out Flair. Arn Anderson comes out to save David and gets beaten up by the tire iron. That’s the, ahem, match.

Anderson is taken out on a stretcher.

We recap the Goldberg vs. Sid rematch from last month where the match was stopped due to Sid’s excessive bleeding. Sid has kind of turned face since then so this should be interesting. Horrible of course but interesting.

Sid says he won’t say he quits.

Goldberg vs. Sid Vicious

I Quit match. The fans boo Goldberg to start and then INSTANTLY start chanting his name. That’s one fickle group. They start slugging it out before Goldberg even gets in the ring as Heenan says this is like the Super Bowl or the World Series. It heads to the floor immediately and the fans think Goldberg sucks. Back in and Sid’s cobra clutch slam gets a nice reaction. He slowly chokes and rips at Goldberg’s face and plants him with a pair of chokeslams.

Goldberg pops back up and cranks on the arm before picking him up and clotheslining him down a few times without letting go of the bad arm. The fans boo this out of the building as Goldberg puts on a horrible cobra clutch (Goldberg: “This is it.”) for the win with Sid passing out. Well having Goldberg’s hand on your forehead and holding your hand is indeed painful looking.

Rating: F-. This was supposed to be Hart vs. Austin, but that was four times longer than this, had two competent wrestlers, and a ton of emotion. Oh and that whole iconic image thing. Instead, as usual with Russo, they tried to get to the ending without putting in the effort first and it looks like a disaster instead of what they were going for.

Luger says Liz knows she screwed up and he’ll find her.

WCW World Title: Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit

Feeling out process to start until Bret takes him down in an armbar. A headlock puts Bret down for one and they hit a pinfall reversal sequence, capped off by a Crossface attempt to send Bret into the ropes. The fans are WAY into this one as they know one of their heroes is coming out champion.

Benoit gets sent to the floor and the Canadian Clown from earlier jumps the barricade to attack him with the flag. It’s Dean Malenko in something else he probably hated doing. Bret chases him off and piledrives Benoit for two. A belly to back gets two on Hart and both guys are already beaten down. The tombstone and Swan Dive get two more as we have Outsiders (late to break up the pin so Bret had to make an awkward kickout).

They nail the referee so Goldberg comes out to deal with them. That earns him a chair to the back but Bret helps fight them off as we’re left with Benoit vs. Goldberg in the ring. A new referee comes out as Goldberg fights the Outsiders on the stage. The screen splits to show the three of them fighting in the back while the WORLD TITLE is being decided in the ring. Benoit goes after the leg but the Figure Four sends Bret right to the ropes.

With the knee suddenly fine again, Bret scores with a backbreaker followed by a superplex. Bret starts in on the back and throws Benoit to the floor, where Benoit is pelted with trash. Back in and Chris rolls some Germans but can’t get the Crossface. Instead Bret sweeps the legs and puts on the Sharpshooter for the submission and the title.

Rating: B. Well that was…..well it was something. It’s the best wrestling match in the Russo Era so far, but that’s covering some very shallow ground. The ending being clean helps this a lot and gave it the legitimacy it was needing. However, this brings up the same question that comes up every night: what was the need for the interference? What did those three coming to the ring add to this match in the slightest? They even threw in a split screen to make sure you knew they weren’t doing anything important. Bret winning the title is a good thing, though it should have been a year ago at the latest.

Bret’s family comes in to celebrate and he hugs Benoit. Tony says this is just another day in Bret’s career to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. The opener and main events carry this as far as they can but the rest drags it down through the floor, the concrete and the upper half of the earth’s mantle. Way too much interference and nonsense throughout the show cripples it as the stuff they have ranges from not making sense to being there just to pad out the show in the place of wrestling. It’s clear that they have no idea what they’re doing on a wrestling show and somehow it’s only going to get worse. The wrestlers are trying where they can, but they’re fighting a guerrilla war against people that hate what they do and why they’re there.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #214
Date: November 15, 1999
Location: Barton Coliseum, Little Rock, Arkansas
Attendance: 10,435
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

It’s the go home show for Mayhem so tonight we get the tournament down to the final four. The big question this week though is what genre of direct to video movie are we getting? Last week it was thriller with Kimberly vs. David Flair, mixed in with the comedy of Kevin Nash as the Grand Wizard. Heaven help me but let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

There’s a cage over the ring. Of course there is.

Norman Smiley vs. Jimmy Hart

Hardcore, meaning Smiley comes out in football pads and Jimmy in…..a suit of armor. Well that’s kind of Genius of him. Jimmy brings in some weapons and actually doesn’t die at first because Norman can’t see through his helmet. The weapons shots have no effect on Hart so Norman just takes him down by the legs. Hart comes back with some powder to the face and Norman has to take the helmet off to cry.

The fans loudly chant NORMAN, but I’m sure that’s just because of the weapons and not the effort or comedic skills he’s displaying right? Jimmy gets in some weapons shots but Norman gets up, drawing out Knobbs with a chair to the head. Brian loads up a table but Jimmy misses a dive through it, giving Norman the easy pin.

Rating: D+. This is one of those matches where the guys tried and were having fun, but they firmly hit the roof of what they were capable of doing. It doesn’t help that this is to set up the epic showdown between Knobbs and Smiley, when it seems like there’s something entertaining in having Hart as a hardcore guy if you keep him in the armor.

Knobbs beats Smiley down post match.

Here are the tournament brackets.

Bret Hart

Kidman

Total Package

Sting

Chris Benoit

Scott Hall

Buff Bagwell

Jeff Jarrett

If Curt Hennig can beat Goldberg tonight, he gets a new contract. And what stops the Powers That Be from saying he’s fired from that one if he loses?

Kimberly talks to Terry Taylor. Why is she in the building after last week?

Tonight, Nash is dressed like Sid, complete with some pretty good prosthetic makeup. Well at least he isn’t Slick.

AC Jazz is out of the Nitro Girls so Fyre and Tygress jump Spice. Next.

Here are the Outsiders with Nash as Sid, with a chin that is far bigger than the real version. Keeping in mind that Sid is from Arkansas, the fans aren’t thrilled with this. Nash says he rules the world about five times but stops to remind us that he’s stupid. Cue Sid, who has had enough of these two. We get the famous line of “you are only half of the man that I am, and I have half the brains that you do” which has Hall nearly doubled over in laughter. Sid is already in a match tonight, but he wants to get Nash out of retirement on top of that. Nash says no so Sid calls him a shell of his former self and Nash says……nothing.

Tonight, Booker has to face Creative Control, officially named Gerald and Patrick. Why having the Harris Twins have the same names as the Stooges is supposed to be funny isn’t clear but I’m sure Russo gets a chuckle out of it. Booker says Midnight will strike.

Kimberly tries to see the Powers That Be but the Twins stop her.

Post break, Kimberly is in the Powers’ office and Russo puts her in a match with Asya. There’s going to be a special referee.

Nash comes into Russo’s office.

Booker T. vs. Creative Control

Before he can get to the ring, Booker is stopped by Chavo for an Amway pitch. After that comedy spot goes nowhere, Booker goes after we’ll say Patrick but gets whipped into Gerald’s boot. Tony stops talking about the match to say the Powers That Be have rescinded Nash’s retirement stipulation. Tony: “It was a lame angle anyway.” Every show I watch, I understand Cornette’s rantings and ravings just a bit more.

The Twins start double teaming him and take it outside where Booker can only fight one at a time. Back in and Booker manages a dropkick to put both guys down, setting up the ax kick and a missile dropkick for two with Gerald making a save. The H Bomb gets the pin on Booker a few seconds later.

The gong strikes and Midnight appears to knock out both Twins. This is after she got laid out by Jarrett last week so the effect isn’t all there.

Post break, Russo threatens to make Creative Control into bikers again. They’re banished to go find the luchadors and Torrie.

Evan Karagias vs. Johnny Boone

Yes referee Johnny Boone who is wrestling in jeans here. Madusa comes out with Karagias, who gets jumped as the bell rings. Evan easily shoves him back because he’s a referee as Madusa goes to commentary. They slowly go after each other because Boone, while a trained wrestler, isn’t much above average and that leaves Evan Karagias to carry things. Boone gets a boot up in the corner so Madusa rams his face into her cleavage. He’s out cold and Evan gets the easy pin. Keep in mind that Evan is challenging for the Cruiserweight Title this Sunday and this is his big warmup.

Madusa kisses Evan post match.

Russo has a bunch of luchadors in his face and makes them a deal: he’s going to put a $10,000 check inside a pinata and hang it from a pole. As luck would have it, Juvy is carrying a pinata. They’ll all be given a stick to hit each other with too. You can see the lawsuits from here.

Dr. Death Steve Williams and Ed Ferrara as JR show up.

Creative Control keeps looking for Torrie.

Villano V vs. Juventud Guerrera vs. El Dandy vs. Silver King vs. Psychosis

It’s a brawl to start and the pinata falls down fifteen seconds in. King moonsaults onto Dandy as Williams and Ferrara come to ringside. Ferrara gets on commentary and does his JR impression, listing off football stats, telling Tony to speak in soundbytes and shouting PINATA over and over. Juvy gets the pinata (PINATA! PINATA!) but the match just keeps going with the camera on Ferrara. Guerrera does the elbow drop and shakes the pinata as candy flies everywhere. Dr. Death gets in the ring and beats everyone up for the no contest, after almost everyone had the pinata at one point.

Rating: F. Well let’s see. It was a bunch of racial stereotypes, the pinata didn’t last twenty seconds, Juvy didn’t win for no explained reason, the sticks didn’t go anywhere, it was all about Dr. Death cleaning house at the end, and they spent the entire match ripping on JR after ripping on Sid earlier, Grand Wizard last week and Vince the week before. Pick any two of those reasons and you’ll get why this is a failure.

Dr. Death takes the check from King as the bell rings roughly 857 times.

Goldberg doesn’t care about anything.

Nash is back in his usual clothes and says he took some time off when WCW sucked. Now that Hall is back, things are fun again. Well of course it is. He barely has to do anything but comedy and gets a huge check. Pay no attention to the company, and therefore the checks, dying before his eyes.

Goldberg vs. Curt Hennig

Goldberg is coming out of his locker room when Hennig slams the door on his head. Unlike Flair with the WarGames door, Goldberg no sells it and they brawl in the back with Goldberg getting the better of it. They fight to the aisle and the bell rings with Hennig getting knocked to ringside and looking like he’s running scared.

Curt finally gets in some knees to the head as they go inside. The Robinsdale Crunch sets up a stepover toehold for well over a minute, with the referee ignoring Goldberg’s shoulders being down the entire time. Goldberg finally punches him in the face and puts on a leg bar for the submission, meaning Hennig keeps his job.

Rating: D. So Hennig can lose by anything but pin and keep his job. Why would the Powers That Be want to keep him around if he never wins because he keeps submitting or getting counted out? This was another of those mostly hardcore matches which don’t make people care because it doesn’t last five minutes and it’s part of a story that makes no sense.

Kimberly is on the phone with Page when the lights flicker. She panics at the fear of bad writing but Jim Duggan comes up with a flashlight and says the fuses in this place are horrible. I hate to admit it, but this was kind of funny. Ignore the fact that Jim Duggan apparently has a working knowledge of the fuses in an arena in Little Rock, Arkansas.

Creative Control tells the Filthy Animals that they’re fired if they don’t produce Torrie. The Animals heed the threat and go find her. Wait why isn’t she with them in the first place?

Chavo Guerrero sells Duggan some fuses.

Vampiro/Misfits vs. Berlyn/The Wall

The Misfits almost have to be better than the Clowns. The Bodyguard is officially the Wall, which is more punny delight. Three are three Misfits and one is named Jerry Only. Berlyn goes after Vampiro to start and sends him flying with a belly to belly. He misses a dropkick though and it’s off to the Misfits vs. the Wall. The trio is chokeslammed with ease but Vampiro comes in and kicks the Wall in the face.

The fans are way behind Vampiro here but Berlyn kicks him down, setting up a missile dropkick/suplex combo but the Germans argue over the pin. Wall steps aside so Vampiro can hit a quick Nail in the Coffin but Berlyn counters a top rope hurricanrana into a powerbomb. This time it’s Wall breaking up the pin but Vampiro breaks it up, only to eat a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D+. Most of that is because Wall hit some good looking chokeslams and the Misfits were little more than cannon fodder. This might have been the most logical match of the Russo Era so far with Berlyn getting annoyed at Wall for taking the glory, even though Berlyn is a waste of a roster spot at this point. Wall looks like someone they could push as someone interesting, meaning he’s doomed from here.

Berlyn whips Vampiro post match.

Torrie has been brought to the Powers’ office and Russo throws her a referee bikini, because “it’s all about the ratings.” Why did he have one of those handy?

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Sid Vicious

Rick is defending even though he didn’t bring the belt with him. We continue a running theme tonight with the guys brawling in the aisle but this time Sid is sent over the barricade and into the crowd. Steiner slams him down on the concrete but Sid fights back, only to put on something like a chinlock near the stage. That goes nowhere so Rick is dragged up to the stage for a low blow, setting up a powerbomb through the stage. Sid walks away and they never actually got into the ring. No match it would seem.

Post break, Rick is taken out on a stretcher. This goes on for the better part of ten minutes and Sid rambles about not wanting to do this to his friend. He’s ready for Nash tonight.

Nash is taping up.

We go to the boiler room for Jerry Flynn vs. Barbarian in something resembling a match. Remember when Mankind and Undertaker did this? Or Big Show and Mankind? Well now it’s Jerry Flynn beating up Barbarian, kicking him up against the wall and I guess knocking him out. Tony brags about how great this is going to be for the ratings and how it’s going to make people watch the show.

Benoit says Scott Hall isn’t standing in the way of getting to the World Title.

Asya vs. Kimberly

Torrie is guest referee and wearing a bikini. Well at least they’re not hiding what they’re doing anymore. Asya and Torrie get in a lame catfight until Kimberly jumps on Asya’s back with a sleeper. The Animals come out to cover Torrie up and get her out of there. Cue David Flair with the crowbar and wearing a referee shirt, sending Kimberly running off. David and Asya fight with David shrugging off a low blow but the Revolution comes out to clear the ring. So a minute long non match had two guest referees (I guess?), and I believe five people interfering?

Sting is given some flowers with a card from Luger. Liz and Luger are shown hoping that he likes them, but Sting doesn’t think he can trust them.

Goldberg has a chilled beverage.

Kimberly runs from David.

WCW World Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Chris Benoit vs. Scott Hall

Bret Hart comes out to be in Benoit’s corner to counter Nash. So he’s Hogan to Nash’s Andre? Hall throws the toothpick at him and finds it hilarious. That earns him some fluid from Benoit’s nose and they trade some arm holds. Now Hall wants the test of strength, only to pock Benoit in the eye. That’s fine with Chris who trips Hall down and dropkicks him in the side of the head.

The Outsiders have a breather on the floor as this might be the longest match we’ve seen in Russo’s Era without any shenanigans. Back in and they trade chops in the corner with Benoit taking over and getting two off a snap suplex. Nash can’t help it any longer and nails Benoit in the back of the neck, allowing Scott to nail a clothesline for two. Scott gets into his routine and the fall away slam is good for two.

We hit the sleeper on the Canadian but Chris suplexes out to put both guys down. Benoit fights up and plants Hall with a backbreaker before dropkicking him to the floor. Nash goes after Benoit but Hart makes the save. In the melee, Sid comes in and powerbombs Hall, setting up the Swan Dive for two. Nash makes another save but Benoit Crossfaces Hall to go to Mayhem.

Rating: B-. Here’s the interesting thing about the match and the key to the whole idea: the fans reacted when Sid came in and laid Hall out. Now why is this time different from all the other matches ending with interference? For me it’s one simple reason: they allowed the match to build up before doing the angle. The only thing out of the ordinary was a single clothesline from Nash, which is minor by comparison. It’s a good match on its own and the angle is far more acceptable when they have a good build to get there. This is the Russo style that worked in the WWF because it had the time to work, though that’s not the case in WCW.

Bagwell says Jarrett isn’t going over him.

WCW World Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Bret Hart vs. Kidman

Rey gets in on commentary. Bret takes him down with an elbow to the back of the head and nails a hard clothesline as this is looking one sided so far. Kidman slips out of a slam so Bret catapults him over the top and out to the floor. Back in and a Bodog gets two on Bret but we’ve got Outsiders. They hit on the robed Torrie but Eddie goes over for the save as Rey cheers him on from commentary. Back inside, Bret counters a hurricanrana into the Sharpshooter.

Rating: D. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but at least Bret didn’t crush Kidman. It also helped that they kept things moving quick enough and the interference didn’t really change much. Mysteiro was kind of a jerk but the Animals are the worst face group in the history of wrestling so it’s understandable.

Luger and Liz get some brownies. We’re approaching bad sitcom territory.

Jeff Jarrett is the chosen one.

WCW World Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Jeff Jarrett vs. Buff Bagwell

They fight on the floor with Buff taking over and heading inside. Bagwell uses his standard offense including a good dropkick and an atomic drop until Creative Control comes out for a distraction. It doesn’t work immediately though as Buff nails a powerslam, but the referee stops to tie his shoe. Creative Control comes in and breaks up the Blockbuster, only to have Buff nail the other with Jeff’s guitar. The referee just can’t stop looking at his shoes though and Jeff nails the Stroke for the pin from the suddenly alert referee.

Jeff and the referee hug because we needed an angle on a match that didn’t break 130 seconds. Dustin Rhodes comes out for the save and celebrates with the loser.

Goldberg headbutts a Surge machine and gets a free drink.

Liz and Luger put laxatives in the brownies.

The Revolution is ready for the House of Pain match, but Saturn wants to talk about Everlast boxing gear and the music video for Jump Around. Saturn asks Dean to jump for him and staring abounds. I could get into this new character.

Duggan intercepts the brownies and says he deserves something like this.

Eddie Guerrero/Konnan vs. Perry Saturn/Dean Malenko

This is a House of Pain match, meaning it’s inside a cage and you win by handcuffing both opponents to the ropes. Saturn superkicks Konnan before he can get inside, leaving Eddie to get double teamed. Tony cuts Heenan off and goes on a rant about internet marks thinking they can do his job. Oh I don’t know Tony. I’ve seen a lot of internet marks that can sound every bit as stupid as you do.

The Revolution double teams Guerrero in the corner and pretty easily gets him most of the way chained up. Konnan comes in with some shots of his own but eats a spike piledriver. They complete shackling Eddie and Konnan gets the same just a few seconds later. Total time of a pretty big gimmick match like this: 2:57.

Rey comes in and gets laid out by a clothesline from Asya. The Revolution hangs him upside down from the top of the cage by the knee, allowing Malenko and Saturn to just destroy Rey’s leg. His next match won’t be until May. Well that explains why he didn’t help Eddie earlier.

WCW World Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Total Package vs. Sting

The winner gets Bret on Sunday. Luger (the announcers have forgotten the whole DON’T CALL HIM LEX LUGER schtick already) hides in the corner to start as he thought Sting would eat the brownies. Sting kicks him in the allegedly injured leg and stomps Lex down in the corner to take over. He takes it to the floor and stays on the leg (Luger: “HELP ME BOBBY!”) before Lex gets inside to hide in the corner. An atomic drop does nothing to Sting but a clothesline gives Luger his first advantage.

Tony starts talking about how Sting and Luger have been friends for years in this sport before correcting himself by calling it a business. The Stinger Splash connects but Luger trips the referee while in the Scorpion. Liz maces Sting and the Torture Rack goes on, only to have Meng come out for a Tongan Death Grip (revenge for getting maced last week) to Luger. Meng puts Sting on top to send him to Mayhem.

Rating: D-. I’m getting tired of giving these matches the same grades over and over but they keep being the same bad, only slightly watchable matches with some kind of interference and overbooked finishes. This was in the same category as it wasn’t long enough to go anywhere but the guys know each other well enough to sleepwalk to a few acceptable moments.

Here are the final four:

Bret Hart

Sting

Chris Benoit

Jeff Jarrett

Jim Duggan feels the effects of the brownies.

Kevin Nash vs. Sid Vicious

Street fight. As has been the case almost all night, they start brawling in the aisle with Nash taking it into the crowd and hitting Sid low. They head back over the barricade and Nash hits the framed elbows in the corner. A quick clothesline sends Sid to the floor but he hits Nash low to take over again.

Back in and Sid slams Nash down and drops a leg for two. A leg between Nash’s legs is our third low blow in four minutes. Sid calls for the powerbomb as the fans call for Goldberg. Cue Hall to break up the powerbomb and the Outsiders go after Sid. Goldberg comes out to clean house and the bell rings for a no contest in a street fight.

Rating: D-. So now we can’t even get a finish in a match designed to not have a clean finish? I guess we’re setting up some kind of a tag match in the future, but that hasn’t been announced for Mayhem or any other show. On top of that, it would mean ignoring the months of Sid vs. Goldberg, which is one of those things in wrestling that always drives me insane. I’m sure in this WCW though, it’s cutting edge TV.

Overall Rating: D. Here’s the thing: for probably the first time since Russo took over, this show felt like it had a point. They have most of the big stuff set for Mayhem and gave you a reason to check out the show. That alone puts it ahead of almost anything else WCW has done in weeks. However, that brings us to the problem with the show.

Other than Hall vs. Benoit, this was one of the worst wrestling shows I’ve seen in a very long time. The wrestling ranged from too short to mean anything to just flat out bad. However, it did have the best match Nitro has offered in weeks which somehow makes this a better show. I hate to say it, but this bad show is somehow an improvement.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Their first events will be on July 24, August 21 and October 23.  Last night I was looking at the biggest day the site ever had, which was last year’s day after Wrestlemania.  Global Force Wrestling announced their formation then and FIFTEEN MONTHS LATER they’re running their first show?  A lot of companies are lucky to last that long and it’s taking them that long to get a show together?  This is going to range from great to a disaster and I’m not sure which.

Royal Rumble 1996
Date: January 21, 1996
Location: Selland Arena, Fresno, California
Attendance: 9,600
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect

We’re in the Monday Night Wars era now and it’s all about Shawn at the moment. He’s back from injury and in the Rumble tonight, looking to become the second person ever to win back to back Rumbles. Other than that we’ve got Bret vs. Undertaker which is another of those matches that can be hit or miss. It’s hard to say what we’ll get here….well not really because I’ve seen this show a bunch of times. Let’s get to it.

We open with Sunny in a bathtub, saying this show is graphic and view discretion is advised.

The opening video is about how the champion is defined by Hart, as in Bret Hart. Tonight though he’s against a force who has no heart, in the form of Undertaker. The IC Title match (Ramon vs. Goldust) and the Rumble are talked about as well.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Ahmed Johnson

Last month at IYH, Jarrett hit Johnson with a gold record to set this up. Johnson is basically Ezekiel Jackson with a bit of skill and charisma. Jarrett immediately bails to the floor to hide. Back in he tries a hiptoss and Ahmed is like boy are you stupid or something? A headlock is easily countered by a throw from Johnson and a clothesline takes Jarrett down. There’s a World’s Strongest Slam for two for Ahmed and things slow down again. Johnson misses a clothesline by a mile but Jeff sells it anyway of course.

A cross body misses as well but this time Johnson goes flying over the top, getting his hand caught in the ropes on the way down. A HARD whip into the steps puts Johnson down and we head back in. Ahmed starts no selling stuff and catches a dive in a bearhug. That goes nowhere so Johnson sends him to the floor and hits a big dive. Back in and Ahmed misses a FREAKING SWANTON (remember that he weighs like 280) and there’s the Figure Four from Jarrett. Johnson powers out of it twice, so Jarrett cracks him with the guitar off the top for the LAME DQ.

Rating: C-. I was always an Ahmed fan so this was an easy pass for me. The image of the Swanton looked great if nothing else, which is more than enough to give this a pass. Jarrett was such a mess at this point and never went anywhere in the WWF. The ending completely sucked though and it really brought things down.

BUY OUR STUFF!

Diesel isn’t worried about the Rumble tonight and doesn’t think it’s Vader Time. He doesn’t care who he faces at Mania, but he isn’t happy with Taker being the #1 contender.

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas

The Bodydonnas are Skip (Chris Candido) and Zip (Tom Prichard with a BIG haircut). They have Sunny with them and my goodness is she smoking (no pun intended) here. The Guns are defending. Skip and Billy start things off with Skip taking over with a headscissors. Just like Ahmed earlier, Billy misses a charge against the ropes and crashes to the outside. Both Gunns get double teamed until Bart ducks out of the way, allowing a charging Billy to dive onto both Donnas on the floor.

Things settle down a bit and it’s back to Billy vs. Skip with the champion in control. Sunny hits on Bart until it’s Bart vs. Zip. A gorilla press puts Zip down but he makes a blind tag, allowing Skip to take over. The champions are fine with the double teaming stuff too, and take over on Skip very easily. Sunny gets on the apron and is knocked off just as quickly, giving us a nice upskirt shot in the process.

Now we get to the important part of the match as Billy goes to check on Sunny, allowing the Donnas to pound away on Bart. Skip hits a nice plancha onto Billy before suplexing Zip onto Billy for two back inside. Billy gets to play Ricky Morton for awhile, being put in a chinlock by Zip. This goes on for awhile until we get a sloppy spot where the Donnas collide and Skip rams heads will Billy. This would work a bit better if Billy wasn’t about eight inches taller than Candido.

Hot tag brings in Bart and everything breaks down with the champions taking over. The Sidewinder (side slam/guillotine legdrop combo) crushes Zip but Sunny’s distraction lets Skip break things up and take Zip’s place. Ignore the fact that one has the straps of his singlet up and the other doesn’t, and the fact that they look as different as Demolition did. In an ending the Expresses used back in the 80s, the Donnas load up a double suplex on Bart, but Billy spears Skip down, causing Bart to fall on Zip for the pin to retain.

Rating: C-. Tag wrestling at this time was really weak with very few solid teams anywhere to be found. The Gunns were ok at best and the Donnas were only popular because of Sunny. Billy would turn heel relatively soon and would eventually join up with Road Dogg to form the New Age Outlaws and turn the division completely upside down. Nothing much to see here but it certainly wasn’t terrible.

We get some of the Billionaire Ted skits, which were unfunny shots at Ted Turner. Not his wrestling company directly, but Turner himself. I’m still not sure why they decided to do these but no one liked them and they came off as mean instead of funny or witty. Note Vince Russo as one of the executives in the board room skit.

We recap Razor vs. Goldust, where Goldust is hitting on Razor to mess with his mind before the match tonight. To say Goldust’s character got them in hot water around this point is a huge understatement.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Goldust

The yet to be named Marlena debuts with Goldie here. Razor is defending as is his custom. Feeling out process to start with Goldust playing his usual mind games, which means rubbing himself. Razor cranks on the arm before grabbing a headlock which goes nowhere. Goldust goes behind Razor and molests him a bit to psych Razor out even more. They head to the corner with Razor having his head rubbed a bit, ticking him off even more.

Razor goes for the arm so Goldust slaps him in the face. Perfect keeps making sex jokes as Razor slaps Goldust right back in the face. He spanks Goldie once as well, but the painted dude likes it. We head to the floor where Goldust hides behind Marlena as the stalling continues. Back in and Razor tries three straight headscissors before punching Goldust to the floor with a single shot.

We get more stalling which is called playing mind games before Ramon clotheslines him right back to the outside. Razor has to move Marlena out of the way, allowing Goldust to FINALLY do something, taking over with a shot to the ribs. Back in and Goldust focuses on the ribs, but not too much because that might mean we have some speed to this match. A bulldog gets two for Goldust as does a slingshot belly to back suplex.

Off to a sleeper, which Perfect suggests Goldust could use to do “whatever he wants” to Goldust. Much like everything else in the match, this goes on way too long until Razor fights up and kicks Goldust low. He’s so spent though that Goldie gets a two count, causing Razor to start his comeback. He fires off his usual punches and the chokeslam gets two. A belly to back superplex hit but Marlent distracts the referee, allowing the 1-2-3 Kid to come in and kick Razor’s head off. Goldust gets the easy pin and the title.

Rating: D-. Sweet freaking goodness this was dull. It went on WAY too long and had a bad ending on top of that, plus the stupid “psychology” from Goldust which wound up being more unpleasant than interesting or intelligent. Goldust would get WAY better when he became more of a comedy/parody character rather than this freaky dude that he was to start his WWF run. The matches got a lot better as a result too.

Wrestlemania 12 is coming.

We get the usual promos for the Rumble, but we start with a statement from Shawn’s doctor who says he’s back and healthy. Thankfully this is kept VERY short and he’s not dull. We hear from Owen, Roberts, Lawler, Horowitz, Vader and Shawn. Shawn would be the most obvious winner ever in the Rumble since…..well since last year when he was the absolutely obvious pick to win.

Vince and Perfect talk about the Rumble a bit.

Royal Rumble

HHH is #1, having lost a match on the Free for All to Duke Droese, who won the right to be #30. Henry Godwinn is #2 and I believe he’s feuding with HHH at this point. Helmsley pounds away in the corner to start but gets backdropped down very quickly. The intervals are back to two minutes this year thank goodness. Trips pokes him in the eye and chokes away until Bob Backlund is #3. Backlund saves HHH before pounding away on him. These wide shots are showing how nearly empty the upper deck is.

Jerry Lawler is #4 as HHH hits the jumping knee to the face of Godwinn. The fans chant Burger King and you know Lawler isn’t going to pass up a chance to rile up a crowd. He goes to get the slop bucket that Godwinn brought with him, but Henry clears the ring and gets the bucket, throwing it over the top onto Lawler and some of Backlund. Bob Holly is #5 and things slow down a bit until HHH erupts on Godwinn for some reason.

We get some slow paced elimination teases until Mabel is #6. Still nothing happens so here’s Jake Roberts at #7 to an ERUPTION. No one is eliminated yet. Jake throws in the snake and everyone but Lawler can get to the floor. After nearly giving him a heart attack with the snake, Lawler disappears for a good while as he hides under the ring. Mabel gets tied up in the ropes and pounded on for a bit until Dory Funk Jr. is #8.

The DDT is countered by HHH as we hear about a friendship between Terry Funk and Bruce Willis of all people. Backlund and Funk go at it because they’re both old and I doubt Dory knows most of the other people in the ring. Lawler is seen hiding under the ring. Yokozuna is #9 as there are WAY too many people in the match at the moment. Backlund puts Dory in the chickenwing and is eliminated by Yoko for a prize. Yoko crushes Godwinn in the corner but Mabel splashes Yoko, killing Henry in the process.

The 1-2-3 Kid is #10 but Razor charges down the aisle to chase him away (not eliminated). Officials get Razor off the Kid but it takes Mabel beating Razor down to stop the chases. It amazes me that Razor wasn’t in more Rumbles. Come to think of it….he was NEVER in a Rumble. Omori, a Japanese star that doesn’t mean much yet, is #11. At the moment we’ve got HHH, Godwinn, Lawler (under the ring), Holly, Mabel, Roberts, Funk, Yoko, the Kid and Omori in the match.

Wait where is Godwinn? I guess he went out off camera. Yoko and Mabel double team Omori until Jake pounds away on Yoko to the loudest reactions of the match so far. Funk hits a double underhook suplex on the Kid as Savio Vega is #12. He spinwheel kicks Mabel down, allowing Yoko to dump the reigning King (Mabel if you’re lucky enough to not remember that gimmick). Omori goes out thanks to Roberts and things slow down again.

Vader debuts at #13 and lumbers around while not doing much. He picks Bob Holly of all people to beat on first as Vega eliminates Dory. Vader pulls Savio back in from the apron for no apparent reason other than he wants to beat on him some more. Doug Gilbert from Memphis is #14 and HHH goes right after him for no apparent reason. Vader and Yoko slug it out to a big reaction but Vader has to stop to clothesline Roberts out.

The camera work in this is really bad as they keep looking at corners of the ring instead of the full thing, making us miss a lot of stuff. Savio pounds on Vader until one of the Squat Team members (BIG fat guys who are there because they’re fat and look alike) is #15. Vader sloppily throws Gilbert out and does the same to the Squat Team dude. Yoko and Vader slug it out again and people respond again.

The other member of the Squat Team is #16 but they both get in to double team Vader. The Mastodon (Vader) punches their faces in as only Vader can do before knocking them both to the floor. Owen Hart is #17 and everyone but Yoko is on one side of the ring for some reason. Vader and Yoko double team Savio who doesn’t seem interested in selling at all. A pair of splashes in the corner crushes him, as do a regular splash and the big leg from Yoko.

Shawn is #17 to a decent pop but significantly smaller than Jake’s. Vader throws out Savio as Shawn goes after HHH and the Kid. Vader and Yoko slug it out a bit before slugging it out a lot. They fight against the ropes, so Shawn gets a running start and dumps them BOTH AT ONCE. Now THAT wakes up the crowd. If that’s not enough, Shawn gorilla presses (!) the Kid to the floor as the ring is suddenly very thin. Hakushi is #19 as the big guys fight on the floor.

Scratch the floor part as Vader gets back in and cleans house, but none of the eliminations count because he’s not legal. Once he’s finally taken away, we’ve got Shawn, HHH, Holly, Hart, Hakushi and Lawler underneath the ring. Tatanka is #20 as Shawn thrown Jim Cornette, Vader’s manager, out. Hakushi hits a Muta elbow on Hart in the corner as HHH of course goes after Shawn.

Michaels teases a bunch of eliminations to try to make us think he’s not winning. Owen dumps Hakushi as Aldo Montoya (Justin Credible with a jock strap over his face) is #21. Shawn gets sent through the ropes to the floor, where he pulls Lawler out and sends him back into the ring. Tatanka puts out Montoya as Shawn puts out Lawler.

Here’s Diesel at #22 and house is cleaned. There goes Tatanka at the hands of the tall one and it’s time for Shawn vs. Diesel which gets a pop but is too short to mean much. Kama (Godfather) is #23 as this continues to go slowly. Shawn pounds on Holly (why is he still in this?) in the corner as Kama and Diesel slug it out. The Ringmaster (Steve Austin who is brand new here) is #24. He’s in white boots which is a really strange thing to see for him.

Shawn does his usual overblown self safe as Holly and Austin fight. FINALLY Holly goes out after nearly forty minutes. HHH vs. Austin happens about three years before it would mean anything. Barry Horowitz (with the AWESOME rock version of Hava Nagila) is #25 and he goes after Diesel. Well no one ever accused him of being brilliant. Shawn nips up to knock Owen to the apron, but Hart skins the cat back in. Cool little sequence there.

HHH punches Diesel, so Diesel grabs him by the head and LAUNCHES him to the floor. The Game made it about 48 minutes which isn’t bad at all. MAKING A DIFFERENCE Fatu (don’t ask. PLEASE don’t ask) is #26 and he doesn’t do much. Shawn and Owen can’t suplex the other one out so here’s Isaac Yankem DDS (Kane) at #27. The ring is WAY too full but Barry is put out to thin it out a bit.

Owen hits the enziguri on Shawn which put Michaels on the shelf leading up to this match. Shawn hangs on AGAIN though and puts Owen out while we’re looking at a double feature. Austin kills Shawn with a clothesline and here’s Marty Jannetty at #28. Fatu superkicks Kane as the burst of energy from Marty is already gone. Shawn and Jannetty go at it because they’re former partners. Perfect: “They’re rocking now aren’t they?” They punch each other down and the British Bulldog is #29.

Smith goes right for Shawn because of what happened last year. I love little bits of continuity like that which you never get anymore. Davey puts out Marty as Fatu GOES OFF on Austin before clotheslining him out off camera. Yankem puts out Fatu and here’s Duke Droese at #30. The final group is Shawn, Droese, Diesel, Smith, Yankem and Kama.

Smith and Michaels fight to the floor and Owen jumps Shawn for good measure. Shawn shrugs it off and goes in to dropkick Yankem out. Kama and Diesel put out Droese to get us down to four. Shawn clotheslines Smith out before skinning the cat back in. Diesel dumps Kama and Shawn superkicks the tall one (in the shoulder) out to win for the second year in a row.

Rating: D. Oh this was DULL. The problem here was that like last year (although to a MUCH weaker degree), there were very few guys you could buy as a winner here. It’s FAR better than last year’s match but the crowd was dead for long stretches of this, mainly due to boredom. You could see the star power of the future, but that’s the problem: they weren’t stars yet and no one bought them at this point. The match isn’t bad, but it’s definitely not good if that makes sense.

Diesel is ticked off about the ending and goes back in as Shawn is stripping. They do their old Wolfpack thing in the middle of the ring (a high five where Shawn has to jump) and all is cool. Shawn poses for a long time post match.

Oh yeah we’ve got a thirty minute match left to go.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Bret Hart

Bret is defending and Taker is still in his skull mask period. Diesel is still straggling behind and stares at Taker during his entrance. They brawl with neither guy getting much of an advantage. Since this is WWF, we recap what we just say two minutes ago. After all that, here’s the world champion. Taker stands in the middle of the ring and Bret circles him for a bit. Hart pounds away in the corner and Taker stares at him.

Taker LAUNCHES him into the corner which is one of my favorite of his moves. He chokes Bret in the air and moves very slowly. Off to a smother hold which goes on for a LONG time. Bret finally makes the rope so there’s Old School….which sets up the smother again. Bret fights up and hits a middle rope clothesline followed by a regular one to send Taker to the floor. There’s a dive to take out the challenger as this finally picks up the pace a bit.

Bret tries to dive off the apron at Taker but is pulled out of the air and rammed into the post. Taker rams him into various other things until Bret reverses a whip into the steps, trying to damage Taker’s knees. Back in and Bret works over the knee as this is going nowhere. The Figure Four goes on….and on…..and on……and Taker turns it over.

Bret gets to the rope, so let’s put on ANOTHER LEG HOLD! It’s that always riveting one where Bret drops an elbow on the leg and just lays on it. This is also known as the Dusty Rhodes Special. He does however mix it up by trying to take off Taker’s mask. After being in this for literally about three minutes, Taker smashes his free leg on Bret’s head before we head back to the floor. Taker chokes away with a cord and sends Bret into the barricade as we head back in.

The champ goes back to the freaking knee as the fans loudly boo Bret. Taker’s leg is wrapped around the post a few times and it’s back to laying on the leg. Dear goodness get this over with already. We’re over twenty minutes into this and NOTHING has happened. To save my sanity the hold doesn’t last as long this time and Taker fights back. There are some legdrops and a clothesline as Taker’s knee seems fine. He loads up the Tombstone but Bret slides down his back and guillotines Taker on the ropes.

A DDT puts Taker down and Bret starts headbutting the back. We get the Russian legsweep but Taker sits up. The bulldog takes Taker down and there’s the middle rope elbow. Bret gives the fans a thumbs down and loads up the Sharpshooter. Taker grabs him by the throat to block it but Bret knees him in the ribs. A double clothesline puts both guys down and we lay around a bit more.

Bret is up first and takes off the buckle from a corner. He goes for the mask again and gets it off to reveal….the same Undertaker we’ve seen for like five years at this point. Seriously he looks fine. Taker fights back but gets rammed into the exposed buckle. That gets no sold and it’s a Tombstone for Bret. Since this is such a dull match though, Diesel pulls the referee out at two for a DQ.

Rating: D+. This started VERY slow but got better for the last ten minutes or so, but the ending brings it right back down again. If this had been a fifteen minute match or so it would have been WAY better, but they only had so many other matches on the card, meaning this had to be longer. Diesel would face Taker at Mania of course.

Gorilla Monsoon makes Diesel vs. Bret for the title at the next PPV.

Shawn says the 90s will be his time.

Taker comes in to yell at Gorilla, saying that Diesel won’t be champion on his watch. Gorilla makes it a cage match so Taker can’t interfere.

Diesel goes on a big rant about how he’s not afraid of the dark and says he’s going to have his hands in everything from now on because the WWF is running on Diesel Power. This was his official heel turn.

Cornette says Vader cannot be ignored. He pretty much was until Summerslam.

Overall Rating: D. This is a really weird show to grade because while most of the matches got bad grades, it’s not that bad of a show overall. Don’t get me wrong: it’s bad, but it’s really not as bad as it sounds. The first two matches are certainly watchable, but they’re not that good. The Rumble is also passable, but it’s dull at times. Not horrible, but definitely not worth seeing.

Ratings Comparison

Ahmed Johnson vs. Jeff Jarrett

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas

Original: D

Redo: C-

Goldust vs. Razor Ramon

Original: D

Redo: D-

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Undertaker

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D-

Redo: D

Amazingly enough I liked it a bit better this time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/15/royal-rumble-count-up-1996-shawns-texas-two-step/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 1995
Date: January 22, 1995
Location: USF Sun Dome, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Oh dang it 1995 WWF still exists. This is that year that no one likes to talk about and you have to fly through it as fast as you can or you might risk seeing something on it. The big twist this year is that the intervals in the Rumble are only 60 seconds, so the whole match is like 40 minutes long. The other problem is that Diesel is WWF Champion here. The good news is that he’s facing Bret Hart, one of the two men capable of dragging an awesome match out of him. Let’s get to it.

We open with the big deal about tonight’s show: Pamela Anderson arrives. She’ll be escorting the winner of the Rumble to the ring at Wrestlemania. A bunch of guys arrive to greet her.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Jarrett is challenging and now has the Roadie with him. Razor starts with his usual assortment of punches and a fallaway slam to send Jeff to the floor. After a little toweling off on the floor, Jeff armdrags Razor down and struts. They trade arm holds until Razor gets taken to the mat where Jeff messes with his hair. Careful with the grease there Jeff. Razor gets annoyed and knocks Jeff to the floor for some more Memphis stalling.

Jeff gets back in and is immediately puts in an armbar where Razor can mess with Jarrett’s hair. Some dropkicks floor the champ and a clothesline gets two. Razor catches a boot coming and ducks the enziguri from Jeff, but Razor misses an elbow to keep Jarrett in control. We hit the chinlock followed by a sunset flip by Jeff for two. Another dropkick gets the same and Jarrett is getting frustrated.

Jarrett hooks a sleeper but Razor quickly counters. The counter doesn’t last long though as Jeff hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. Ramon slides behind Jeff in the corner and crotches him on the post to a big pop. We get a messed up (not botched mind you) spot where Razor was going to try a bulldog off the middle rope but Jeff turns around and it had to be a clothesline. Eh no harm no foul. Jeff backdrops Razor to the floor, injuring the champ’s knee. Roadie clips him in the knee and Razor gets counted out.

We won’t get to the rating just yet. Post match Jeff calls Razor a coward for taking the easy way out like that and calls him back into the ring. Razor pulls a Marty McFly and takes the bait, giving us another match.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Razor tries some quick rollups for two but Jeff goes right for the knee to take over. Jeff does his best Ric Flair imitation but as he goes for the third cannonball down onto the leg, Razor kicks him over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Jarrett puts on the Figure Four, putting Razor in a lot of trouble. Razor escapes and starts his comeback with punches and the belly to back superplex but Jeff counters in mid air for two. Razor clotheslines him down and loads up the Edge, but the knee gives out and Jeff rolls him up for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. I always remember liking this match and it holds up pretty well. Memphis stalling isn’t for everyone but it’s a good way of drawing heel heat, which Jeff might as well have been an iceberg for otherwise. Razor was awesome at this point and had good chemistry with Jeff, so this worked pretty well all around. The ending was smart as it was Razor’s trademark ending for house shows, but he would usually win in about 30 seconds with the Razor’s Edge. Nice to see them switch things up here.

Pamela Anderson has been given a lot of gifts from various wrestlers. One of the running gags on this show is that Pamela clearly doesn’t want to be here at all and has these “GET ME OUT OF HERE” looks on her face the whole night. Todd Pettingill tries to hit on her and completely fails of course.

Jeff says it’s time to celebrate.

IRS vs. The Undertaker

This is the start of the Undertaker vs. Million Dollar Team feud which went on FOREVER. The bell rings and we stand around a lot. IRS tries to jump Taker from behind and it goes nowhere. Taker glares him down to the floor and the stalling continues. IRS slides in, gets glared down, and hides on the floor again. Finally we head back in with IRS pounding away and getting kicked in the face for his efforts.

Taker grabs him by the tie and swings him out of the corner, followed by Old School as this is dominance so far. IRS and DiBiase get in an argument on the floor, causing DiBiase to call for some druids. Taker loads up Old School again but the druid shakes the rope and Taker goes down. A clothesline puts Taker on the floor where he beats on the druids a bit before IRS jumps him from behind.

The druids send Taker into the steps and there’s an abdominal stretch by IRS. That goes nowhere so Taker misses an elbow to really slow himself down. IRS hits some basic stuff as the crowd is almost completely silent. Druid interference gets two for IRS and also allows him to escape the Tombstone. A clothesline puts Taker down but he pops up and hits a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D. At the end of the day, this was about thirteen minutes of Taker beating up IRS. I mean….did ANYONE buy IRS as a threat to the Dead Man here? That was the problem with the eight month long feud between Taker and DiBiase’s group: no one on the team was a real threat to him at all. Bad match here but that had to be expected.

Post match Taker beats up the druids and has a staredown with King Kong Bundy. During the staring, IRS steals the Urn. There’s the launch of the feud and Bundy beats up Taker for awhile.

Diesel doesn’t have much to say about his match with Bret.

Bret is ready for his chance at the title.

WWF World Title: Diesel vs. Bret Hart

Diesel is defending in case you’re really slow. Bret tries to brawl to start but is almost immediately knocked down by a big shot to the face. A clothesline puts Bret on the floor where he chills for a bit. Back in and Bret goes after the knee like a smart Hitman. He puts on a quick Figure Four and after a good deal of time in it, Diesel gets to the rope. Bret does something you hardly ever see enough: he puts the same hold back on. Why don’t more people do that? He had Diesel in trouble, so why mess with what was working?

Diesel makes the rope again and heads to the floor where Bret hits a suicide dive to have the champ reeling. Diesel shrugs it off and sends Hart into the steps to get a breather. With Bret in the ropes, Diesel hits the running crotch attack to his back. There’s a backbreaker to Bret and Diesel bends him across the knee a bit. Bret fires off some right hands but gets whipped hard into the buckle to stop him cold.

The champ loads up the Jackknife but instead puts Bret on his shoulder for a backbreaker. Why he doesn’t JACKKNIFE HIM WHEN HE HAS THE CHANCE is beyond my intelligence as Bret escapes. A big boot (Diesel’s leg seems fine) puts Bret down for two, but Bret gets a boot up of his own, followed by a middle rope clothesline for two. Hart goes up and Diesel tries to slam him off, but the knee goes out, giving Bret a two count.

The kickout sends Bret to the floor and he pulls Diesel’s legs out for the figure four around the post. Actually scratch that as he ties Diesel’s legs together instead and pounds away. The Five Moves of Doom get two but Diesel grabs a rope to block the Sharpshooter. Bret clotheslines him to the floor but a dive is caught in mid-air. The tall guy rams him into the post and hits the Jackknife in the ring, but Shawn Michaels runs in to break up the count.

Shawn beats on Diesel’s leg which isn’t a DQ for no apparent reason. Shawn and Diesel had split up at Survivor Series if you’re wondering why this beating is happening. We get a ruling that the match must continue to the delight (yes I said delight) of the crowd. Bret goes back to the knee, hooking another Figure Four. Diesel can’t get to the ropes so he hits Bret in the bad ribs to escape. Ah selling, how I love you.

Diesel is all ticked off now and pounds away on Bret in the corner. A gutwrench suplex of all things gets two for the champ but a big boot in the corner misses. Bret wraps Diesel’s leg around the post and blasts it with a chair. There’s the Sharpshooter but now it’s Owen coming in for the save and a beatdown on Bret. I would say there’s a great tag match in there, but Bret and Shawn teaming up would mean the end of the world as we know it.

The match is going to continue AGAIN though and Diesel gets two on Bret. The place is starting to lose its minds over these near falls. Bret sends him into the buckle that Owen exposed and pounds away as Diesel is rocking again. Diesel comes back AGAIN with elbows and forearms to the face before punching Bret into the ropes where Hart’s legs are caught. Bret is holding his knee but you never know with him.

Yep, he stands up and lays back down in some classic Hart goldbricking. Diesel goes for the Jackknife but Bret fakes him into a small package for two. Bret tries an O’Connor Roll and the referee is bumped. Backlund, Michaels, Roadie and Jarrett run in and that’s FINALLY enough for the double DQ.

Rating: A. These two had MAD chemistry together and this was no exception. They knew how to work the David vs. Goliath (I’m not sure how fair it is to call Bret David actually) formula to perfection and the matches were great as a result. Why the company kept going with Diesel vs. power guys is beyond me, because his best stuff comes against small guys like Bret and Shawn and always has.

Backlund stays in the ring and puts the Crossface Chicken Wing on Bret. This set up their I Quit match at Mania which even Bret admits sucked. Diesel makes the save and hugs Bret.

More Pettingill and Anderson stuff.

Bob Holly and 1-2-3 Kid are excited to be in the finals of the tag team title tournament.

Tag Titles: Bob Holly/1-2-3 Kid vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Tatanka

Shawn and Diesel split up and we needed champions. Holly and Tatanka start things off with Tatanka hitting a side slam for two. Holly comes back with a slam and a few dropkicks as this is going nowhere so far. Off to the Kid vs. Bigelow, with the big man running over both of the smaller guys with ease. Bigelow LAUNCHES Kid into the air but gets caught in a rana to send Bam Bam rolling.

Back to Tatanka who whips Kid into the buckles a few times before it’s off to Bigelow to pound on the small guy some more. In something that actually impressed me, Kid backdrops Bigelow to the floor. Both small guys try top rope cross bodies but they escape and dropkick the heels together. Things settle down with Tatanka beating on Holly for a LONG time. Bigelow comes in, allowing Tatanka to distract the Kid. Holly goes to the corner to find no partner and Bigelow splashes Bob.

Holly gets beaten down so badly that he goes to the wrong corner and tags in Tatanka. Thank goodness this isn’t the Attitude Era because it probably would have been legal in some of their matches. Tatanka comes in for more beating on Holly until Bob FINALLY gets in a clothesline for the hot tag to the Kid. Everything breaks down and Kid is LAUNCHED to the floor by Bigelow. Bam Bam loads up the moonsault but Tatanka accidentally hits the ropes to knock him to the mat. Somehow that’s enough for the pin and the titles for the Kid.

Rating: C+. This went nearly sixteen minutes which was just too long. It’s quite good but it would have been great if they cut off five minutes or so. Those launches by Bigelow were awesome looking as Kid continues to be an excellent seller of moves like those. The idea was that it was all Bigelow’s fault, even though Tatanka is totally to blame for Bigelow crashing like that. The Gunns would win the titles back the next night on Raw, making this whole thing pretty pointless.

Post match DiBiase and Tatanka leave Bigelow in the ring, where Lawrence Taylor, NFL legend, laughs at him. Bigelow shoves him down, and there’s Wrestlemania people.

We get a recap of the 94 Rumble, focusing on Diesel’s dominance and Shawn helping to eliminate him.

Shawn laughs a bit.

We look at the ending to the match from last year.

Luger says he wants the title. Lex, it’s been over for you for like eight months now. Let it go dude.

Vince apologizes to Lawrence Taylor.

Here’s Pamela Anderson to watch the Rumble at ringside and MAN does she look miserable.

Royal Rumble

Shawn is #1 and Bulldog is #2. Shawn immediately jumps Bulldog but this isn’t going to last long. Remember there are one minute intervals, which was just a bad idea in general. Smith gets a quick gorilla press, but why throw Shawn OUT when you can just slam him? That clearly won’t come back to haunt him later or anything of course. Smith charges into a boot and here’s Eli Blu (one of the Harris Brothers, who were the big bald bikers who were around for WAY too long) at #3.

Nothing happens so here’s Duke Droese (a wrestling garbageman) at #4. Eli fights Smith and Droese squeezes Shawn until Jimmy Del Ray of the Heavenly Bodies is #5. Nothing continues to happen because there isn’t enough time between entries. Sione (Barbarian) of the Headshrinkers is #6 as Del Ray is tossed out. Tom Prichard of the Heavyenly Bodies is #7 and STILL nothing is happening.

Doink is #8 as the Rumble is going way too fast. It’s like the original Rumble: not enough names to care about and nothing going on at the same time. Kwang is #9 and Rick Martel is #10, I believe in his last WWF match. There are nine people in the ring right now. Shawn is almost out but fights off Kwang to survive. Owen Hart is in at #11 and here’s Bret to jump him in the aisle. Owen survives and climbs in, only to be eliminated in three seconds.

Shawn puts out Droese and Timothy Well (partners with Steven Dunn in the tag team of Well Dunn) is #12 and is out almost immediately. Martel and Prichard go out faster than I can see them and Kwang superkicks Doink out. Luke of the Bushwhackers is #13 and during his entrance, everyone but Bulldog and Shawn are gone. Literally, four people were put out inside of six seconds. Luke is out almost immediately and it’s Shawn vs. Bulldog again.

Here’s Jacob Blu at #14 and HE TOO is gone in like fifteen seconds. This is so stupid. King Kong Bundy is #15 and he beats on both guys for about twenty seconds before it’s Mo at #16. Mo is like the fifth guy to last less than thirty seconds. If your roster is this weak, CUT THE FREAKING MATCH DOWN. Nothing else happens until Mable is #17 for the showdown with Bundy. Mabel dumps him out as Butch is #18 and is gone in less than 20 seconds as well. More on this later.

Lex Luger is #19 and he goes right for Mabel for no apparent reason. He eliminates the fat purple and gold dude before gorilla pressing Michaels down like an idiot. Mantaur, a stupid monster character, is #20. He beats on Luger and Bulldog until Aldo Montoya (Justin Credible with a jockstrap on his face) is #21. Henry Godwinn is #22 as we’re waiting on a bunch of people to get thrown out so everyone can go home. I think this is one of Henry’s first matches.

Billy Gunn is #23 so naturally Bart Gunn is #24. Bob Backlund is #25 and also lasts about fifteen seconds due to a Bret Hart attack. Steven Dunn is #26 as there are like ten people in there. Bret and Backlund fight in the aisle again and old man Dick Murdoch is #27. Mantaur misses a charge at Bart and Adam Bomb is #28. For the second year in a row, Vince decides Adam Bomb is going to win the Rumble. Seriously.

Fatu is #29 and Luger eliminates Mantaur. Crush is #30, giving us a final group of Shawn, Bulldog, Luger, Montoya, Godwinn, Bart, Billy, Dunn, Murdoch, Bomb, Fatu and Crush, or WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE. Thankfully Crush immediately eliminates the Gunns to clear the ring out a bit. We cut to Anderson who gives a very uninterested wave and points to the ring. You know, because this is SO beneath her. Well, not beneath her enough to give the check back or anything but you get the idea.

Dunn is put out off camera and Murdoch almost puts Shawn out. Luger makes the save due to a lack of intelligence as Murdoch tries headbutts on Fatu. Naturally it doesn’t work at all because YOU DON’T HEADBUTT A SAMOAN. Bomb is backdropped out and Shawn throwsn Montoya out. Luger saves Shawn AGAIN and Crush eliminates Fatu. There are six guys left: Murdoch (who hits a dropkick and airplane spin on Godwinn), Godwinn, Shawn, Bulldog, Crush and Luger.

Murdoch gets dizzy from the spin and falls out to get us down to five. Lex dumps Godwinn and we’ve got four left. Michaels and Crush double team Luger as Bulldog gets a breather. They dump Lex and we’ve got three guys left. Smith gets double teamed until Shawn turns on Crush and is lifted into the air. Bulldog uses the distraction to eliminate Crush and it’s one on one. Davey destroys Shawn and presses him onto (not over. That would make sense) the top rope. Shawn is knocked over the top, but in the famous finish, he hangs on and ONLY ONE FOOT touches, allowing Shawn to come back in and eliminate Smith to win.

Rating: D. This is a hard one to grade, because the stuff that was decent was in fact decent. The problem is there wasn’t much stuff that falls into that category. First and foremost, SEVEN PEOPLE OUT OF THIRTY did not last thirty seconds. If they’re that meaningless to the match, simply do not put them in the Rumble. It looks stupid and there’s no reason to have them out there.

Second, the time intervals. These were a major issues because there’s no time to get ANYTHING going in the match. When you count ten seconds or so to get into the ring (some people take up to twenty), you’re looking at about 45 seconds of action with the new guy before someone else comes out. That’s just not enough time to get anything going at all.

Third, and this is probably the biggest problem of the match, look at the roster here. At a glance, I see four people with actual chances to win: Crush, Luger (they’re both BIG stretches), Bulldog, and Shawn. After that there’s Owen Hart but he was one of the guys that didn’t make it thirty seconds in the ring.

Then you’re looking at guys like Montoya and Well Dunn and the Bushwhackers (who amazingly still had jobs in 1995) and the Heavenly Bodies (by my count there were five tag teams in here, or one third of the match. WAY too many guys at that level) and Dick freaking Murdoch. This is a match that was BEGGING for a midcard to come in and fill in some spots. Guys like Ramon and Jarrett and Bigelow and Tatanka would have helped this match a ton, but instead we get all these fillers. That’s a big reason why this didn’t work.

Anderson poses with Shawn to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade because as good as the world title match is, the Rumble sucks it right back down. IRS vs. Taker isn’t anything good but it’s much more boring than bad. The opener and tag matches are good so I can’t complain much there. 1995 would be AWFUL for the most part though, mainly due to all of the problems you could see coming in the Rumble. Still though, not an awful show by any stretch and it has a great world title match.

Ratings Comparison

Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. IRS

Original: D

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Diesel

Original: B-

Redo: A

Bob Holly/1-2-3 Kid vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Tatanka

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Royal Rumble

Original: D+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: C+

What in the world was I thinking on the title match? It was great.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/14/royal-rumble-count-up-1995/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Well it’s starting to come to fruition.  One of the co-hosts of the show I’ve been on before got an interview with Jeff Jarrett, which can be heard here:

http://www.broiledsports.com/2015/01/broiled-sports-exclusive-interview-w.html

To help support their efforts to get more access like this (and potentially to have me getting the same access), check them out at:

i95sportsnetwork.com

Also make sure to like them on Facebook at:

https://www.facebook.com/MouthOfTheSouthShoreRadioShow

And follow them on Twitter:

@MotSSRadio

 

This is an actual possibility at this point and it would do them (and me) a lot of good to get some extra support behind them.

KB

Bound For Glory 2008
Date: October 12, 2008
Location: Sears Center, Hoffman Estates, Illinois
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

There are some new faces in TNA at this point and for once we have a young guy as the World Champion. Samoa Joe won the World Title from Angle at Lockdown and is defending it here against…..oh of course it’s Sting. The idea here is Sting and his fellow veterans are tired of the young guys not respecting them and they’re not going to take it anymore. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on the history of Chicago and gangsters while showing some of the big stars in old time suits. The Mafia is clearly here but hasn’t been named yet. Most of the big matches get a focus and Christian is currently a free agent in the upcoming stable wars.

Steel Asylum

Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Curry Man, Jimmy Rave, Jay Lethal, Johnny Devine, Petey Williams, Shark Boy, Sonjay Dutt, Super Eric

You should know who everyone is here. Super Eric is Eric Young as a superhero and is part of the Prince Justice Brotherhood along with Shark Boy and Curry Man (Christopher Daniels as an Indian curry company mascot). This is inside a big red cage with a dome on top. There’s a hole in the top of the dome and the first person to climb up and out gets an X-Division Title shot at some point in the future. Since there are ten men in the ring, it’s almost impossible to tell what’s going on.

Everyone goes after everyone to start with the Brotherhood and the Guns taking over early on. Shark Boy gets beaten up in the corner and then Devine gets the same treatment. The abused start fighting now as Sharky stomps on Johnny in the corner. We get a six man suplex with the Brotherhood all getting suplexed at the same time. Naturally they sell way too long for a suplex but that’s what you get in big spots like that.

Petey hooks his Russian legsweep on Dutt but gets pulled down when trying to escape. Curry Man goes up but Shelley makes a save. Alex’s climb goes just as well with Shark Boy leg sweeping him down. Super Eric drops Devine with a neckbreaker off the middle rope before Lethal and Dutt slug it out on the top rope. Curry Man takes Sonjay down with the Tokyo Dangerous backbreaker off the ropes. Lethal hurricanranas Rave off the top and Shelley adds a frog splash for good measure.

Eric hits a Death Valley Driver on both Devine and Dutt at the same time but the Guns stop him from leaving. The Guns take everyone down until Petey nails Shelley with a Canadian Destroyer. Shark Boy hits a double Stunner off the top to plant Shelley and Petey at the same time. The parade of finishers begins and Devine is the last man standing. Dutt gets up to stop his escape attempt though and Curry Man takes everyone down so he can do his dance. Curry almost gets to the exit but Dutt pulls him down. Lethal hammers Dutt in the ribs and climbs out for the win.

Rating: C. These matches are fun but they get really tiring after awhile. You can only see these spots for so long before you want some kind of storytelling or coherence after awhile. The match was entertaining but I’d much rather have like five guys in there at most. It would make things flow so much easier instead of being the mess that it was.

We run down the card.

Cornette is WAY too happy to be at Bound For Glory when newcomer Mick Foley comes in. Jim tries to convince Foley to show up at Impact in Vegas when the Beautiful People come in to complain about M&Ms. Foley gets in some jabs that go way over their heads but they don’t care due to him not being beautiful.

We recap the six person tag. Basically it’s beautiful vs. ugly and not much more.

ODB/Rhaka Khan/Rhino vs. Cute Kip/Beautiful People

This is the Bimbo Brawl and Rhaka Khan is big, strong and horrible. Cute Kip is Billy Gunn. Traci Brooks is guest referee to help deal with the girls. Detroit Tiger Curtis Granderson is at ringside and Kip isn’t happy with him stealing the spotlight. ODB and Love yell at each other to start until ODB slaps her in the chest. Off to Velvet who gets forearmed back into the corner before Rhino comes in to work on her arm.

Kip saves Velvet from a Gore and the guys get in a chase sequence. Velvet tries to slap Rhino again but it’s quickly off to Khan vs. James. Kip is 6’5 and Khan is looking him right in the eye. They both try chokeslams with Kip getting the better of it, only to have Khan grab him below the belt. Angelina comes in for some shouting and is quickly dragged into the corner for a slam from ODB.

Velvet distracts Traci so Kip can nail ODB with a makeup bag to give Love two. Some elbows get ODB out of a Velvet chinlock and it’s off to the guys to speed things up. Rhino takes control with right hands and a belly to belly as everything breaks down. The girls fight on the floor and Rhino blocks the Fameasser with a Gore for the pin.

Rating: D. Well at least the Beautiful People looked good. The wrestling was as bad as you would expect it to be and the guys had to save it more than once. When Billy Gunn is the one making your match look better, it’s clear that you have a problem. They were trying with the Knockouts here but the idea wasn’t quite working yet. The Beautiful People were still relatively new at this point and hadn’t found their groove yet.

Consequences Creed (with the GORGEOUS Lauren) says he debuted a year ago and doesn’t like the way X-Division Champion Sheik Abdul Bashir talks about this country. After he wins the title tonight, the glory will belong to America.

X-Division Title: Consequences Creed vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir

An Iraq War veteran with horrible leg injuries gets to introduce Creed. Sheik talks trash about him and Creed is livid to start. The champ is sent outside for a big flip dive, followed by Creed getting on the announcers table to scream at the announcers. A high cross body gets two on Bashir but he finally gets in a shot and sends Creed off the apron and into the barricade. Back in and Creed gets tripped down for two and we hit the reverse gutwrench.

Creed fights up but charges into an elbow in the corner. They chop it out until Creed misses a dropkick and crashes onto the mat. The champ hooks a bodyscissors on the mat before switching off to a kind of sleeper. Creed escapes but gets put right back in the sleeper. Back up again and the dropkick knocks Bashir down to put both guys on the mat. Consequences starts his comeback with forearms and a backdrop for two.

A gutbuster gets the same and a superkick drops Bashir. Creed nips up but takes too long getting to the top. Bashir crotches him down and nails a top rope hurricanrana for two. A TKO is counters by a rake of Creed’s eyes and a rollup with a handful of rope retains Bashir’s title.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t bad but it’s totally forgettable. There wasn’t all that much to the division at this point but Bashir was a good enough choice for a heel champion. Creed is a guy that looks good on paper but never really has backed it up in the ring. This was ok but I doubt I’ll remember it in about five minutes.

Foley is telling JB a story about the Cell when the Kongtourage (Kong and Raisha Saeed) comes in. They have some demands but Foley recommends a visit from Yerple the Clown. He takes out his phone to call her and the girls leave.

There isn’t much to recap for the Knockouts Title match. Taylor Wilde is champion and there are two challengers.

Knockouts Title: Taylor Wilde vs. Awesome Kong vs. Roxxi

One fall to a finish. Wilde, a cute blonde, took the title from the monster Kong as an amateur out of the crowd. Roxxi is now just a girl with short hair and isn’t a voodoo queen anymore. Roxxi and Wilde double team Kong to start before “hitting” a double dropkick to send her out to the floor. Taylor goes after Roxxi and slams her down for two but Kong is back in for the save. Saeed pulls Roxxi to the floor and it’s Kong and Wilde all alone. A victory roll gets two for Taylor but Roxxi comes back in and sends the champ out to the floor.

Kong is livid and goes after Roxxi with some chops to the neck, only to miss a splash in the corner. A swinging neckbreaker drops Kong and a top rope double knee gets two. Roxxi hooks Taylor in a kind of torture rack but Kong kicks both of them down. Kong crushes Roxxi with a cross body for two and the Implant Buster gets the same. Awesome goes up top but Taylor kicks her out to the floor. Roxxi hits a big boot for two on Wilde but walks into a German suplex to keep the title on Taylor.

Rating: D+. I miss Taylor Wilde. The match was nothing special due to not having enough time and could have been on any given Impact. They should have gone with Wilde vs. Kong again here instead of the three way as Roxxi was just there to keep the title on Taylor while protecting Kong. Nothing to see here but I’ve seen worse.

AJ Styles welcomes Foley to TNA but Team 3D comes in and talk trash to Styles. Ray is in flannel so we get ECW and WWE jokes that a lot of the younger fans don’t get. Foley mocks Team 3D for bringing up how many titles they’ve won. Cornette comes in and doesn’t say anything of note. I’m not going to ask about the masks on the wall.

Tag Team Titles: Beer Money Inc. vs. Matt Morgan/Abyss vs. Team 3D vs. LAX

Beer Money (Roode and Storm, managed by Jacqueline) are defending, this is Monster’s Ball and Steve Mongo McMichael is guest referee. Storm is wearing a hat with two beers attached in a somewhat funny bit. Abyss has a story going on here as he’s been in therapy to stop using weapons. Everyone gangs up on the champions to start before it breaks off into a slow paced brawl. LAX works over Storm in the ring with Hernandez catapulting him into a Homicide clothesline.

Roode comes in to try and save his partner but Hernandez knocks him out to the floor. Homicide hits his flip dive through the ropes, setting up a big plancha from Hernandez. Ray nails Hernandez with a trashcan lid in the aisle as Homicide elbows D-Von in the jaw. It’s fork time and D-Von’s head gets carved up. The monsters finally get involved as Abyss comes in for Shock Treatment on Homicide.

Ray hits Abyss low with a cheese grater before slicing Abyss’ skin open. Ray of course licks the cheese grater because he’s a bit sick. It’s Hernandez back in now but Ray runs him over and nails a splash in the corner. A superplex drops Hernandez and Ray’s delayed cover gets one. Roode comes back in with a Blockbuster and a VERY slow two count. We get our first taste of Matt Morgan who suplexes both champions before loading up Old School on Roode. Storm charges back in so Morgan dives over Roode for a cross body.

D-Von plants Roode but gets chokeslammed by Abyss. He loads up one on Roode as well but Storm distracts him with the bag of tacks. McMichael takes the bag away for no apparent reason so Storm puts on his beer football helmet. He challenges McMichael (a former NFL player) to get in a three point stance. Roode has a football from somewhere and they actually hike it with Steve running Roode over with a clothesline. Homicide covers and MAN ALIVE does Mongo count slow.

The fans want tables but get a huge dive off the top with Morgan taking everyone out in a huge crash. Team 3D singles out Abyss with various trashcan related objects. Ray finds a staple gun to go after Abyss’ cut forehead. Abyss fights back until Team 3D lackey Johnny Devine comes out with a kendo stick to slow the monster down. D-Von and Devine load up a table in front of the stage…and we have lighter fluid. Devine lights it up and a double chokeslam puts Abyss through the table. I believe that was on TNA highlight reels for a long time.

Morgan chases Roode back to ringside but he walks right into a Last Call from Storm. Beer Money celebrates but Hernandez nails them with a kendo stick. Team 3D is nowhere in sight for some reason so Homicide dropkicks both champions down. Storm dives into a sitout powerbomb from Hernandez but Mongo’s slow count means it’s only two. Hernandez plants Roode and Homicide’s top rope splash gets the same. The Gringo Cutter plants Storm but Jacqueline breaks up the count at two because she can’t just go away.

The Carbon Footprint nails Hernandez but Homicide rolls out of the Hellevator. Team 3D crawls out from whatever hole they fell into and call for the tables, only to get blasted by Hernandez. He sets up a table in the ring and pours the tacks on top for good measure. Ray pops back up and the 3D puts Hernandez through the table, but Storm spits beer in D-Von’s face, allowing Roode to steal the pin to retain the titles.

Rating: B-. I liked the match more than I thought I would and it’s definitely a step up over some versions of this match they’ve had over the years. The champions stealing the pin was a good thing and the big men doing crazy high spots worked. McMichael has somehow managed to be useless as both a wrestler and a referee, which is pretty impressive when you think about it. Even Danny Davis had some value.

We recap Booker T. vs. Christian Cage vs. AJ Styles. This is again about respect with Booker representing the old, Styles representing the new and Cage representing the yet to pick a side. Both guys are trying to get Cage to join their side and both say the other is lying to him.

Booker T. vs. Christian Cage vs. AJ Styles

Booker has his wife Sharmell, who is carrying a briefcase. Styles and Cage drop Booker to start before Christian gets two on AJ with a sunset flip. Styles goes to the apron but his springboard is blocked with a knee to the ribs. Booker is back up to kick Christian to the floor so Styles hits a huge springboard moonsault to take the Canadian down. AJ is stunned as well so Booker takes Christian back inside for two.

Some knees to the ribs and a spinning kick get the same for Booker and we hit the chinlock. Back up and a side kick gets two on Christian as AJ really should be back in by now. Booker nails him on the apron and Christian grabs a small package on Mr. T. for two. Christian chops away at Booker and elbows his way out of a Bookend. They clothesline each other down and take their time getting up, allowing AJ to hit the springboard forearm on Booker.

The drop down into the dropkick puts Booker on the floor but Christian escapes the Styles Clash. He also blocks the moonsault into the reverse DDT but, after knocking Booker off the apron, Styles tries again and the reverse DDT gets two on the Canadian. Now Booker comes back in for a double clothesline and some chops for Styles but the ax kick misses. AJ busts out a cross armbeaker of all things and kicks Christian away when he tries a save.

A headscissors sends Christian into the corner but Booker grabs a Bookend for two on AJ. Booker loses his focus and busts out a Spinaroonie, earning him a forearm from Christian. Christian loads up his own Spinarooni but AJ uses his knee to springboard at Booker. An implant DDT lays out Styles for two and Christian loads up a superplex, only to have AJ slam him down.

The Spiral Tap misses though and Booker comes back with a double ax kick. That’s good for two on both guys so Booker goes up top. Christian crotches him down and runs over AJ for two. Both guys go up to superplex Booker but it’s Christian with a super Unprettier to Styles. Booker nails an ax kick to pin the distracted Cage.

Rating: C+. Good stuff here as it actually felt like a three way instead of the same stuff we see in triple threats over and over. The generations story was a good idea and the Main Event Mafia would be very entertaining in the coming months. That is until they beat it into the ground but we’ll get to that later. I liked the match more than I thought I would so it was a nice surprise.

We recap Angle vs. Jarrett. Angle wanted to face Jeff for respect but Jarrett said no. Kurt brought up Jeff’s daughters after Jeff’s wife passed away and that’s more than enough to get a southern man’s dander up. This is Jeff’s first match in two years after he took a long hiatus to deal with his wife’s cancer. Foley is guest enforcer, which has a story of its own as Angle took offense to Jarrett calling Foley the biggest talent acquisition ever in TNA.

Angle says this isn’t one on one tonight.

Jeff breaks down in tears talking about what’s been going on lately.

Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett

Kurt takes him down with ease and laughs at him before holding Jeff on the mat with a headlock. Back up and Jeff scores with an armdrag before putting on a headlock of his own. Angle takes him into the corner but Jeff speeds things up and scores with a dropkick before clotheslining Angle out to the floor. A nice plancha takes Angle down again but Jeff misses a second dive off the apron and hits the barricade.

Back in and Jeff sends him into the ropes for the running crotch shot and we get a strut. Jeff loads it up again but walks into a huge clothesline to put both guys down. We hit the chinlock on Jarrett for a bit before he fights up and gets two off a rollup. Angle nails him with another clothesline before snapping a suplex for a few near falls. Back to the chinlock as the fans are split.

Jeff gets up again but Angle sends him into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs. He tries one too many though and goes shoulder first into the post, allowing Jarrett to nail a quick DDT. They slug it out with Jeff getting the better of it and taking over with some clotheslines. Angle finally busts out the belly to belly for two but the Angle Slam is countered into another DDT for two.

A top rope superplex gets two on Angle and both guys are in trouble. There’s the Figure Four in the middle of the ring and Angle screams in pain. He finally rolls over to the ropes and is ok enough to roll some Germans for a few two counts. There go the straps but Jeff armdrags out of the Slam. He tries a sunset flip but gets caught in the ankle lock to make Jeff scream for a change. Angle keeps teasing him at the ropes so Jeff rolls through instead.

The Angle Slam gets two and Kurt is getting really frustrated. Jeff avoids the moonsault and Jeff is starting to feel it. The referee gets decked and the Stroke plants Angle for two with Foley coming in to count. Foley tries to help the referee and Angle hits Jeff low. Mick tells Kurt he can’t use a chair so Angle blasts him in the head with it. He does the same to Jeff but Foley pulls the referee out at two. Foley busts out Socko to take Angle down and a guitar shot is enough to finally put Kurt away.

Rating: A-. This was REALLY good because they let two professionals do their thing. People forget how good Jarrett really is and when you put him in there with someone like Angle, it’s going to be magic every time. There was not way you could put Angle over here but they did a great job of teasing it all throughout the match. Awesome match and one of the best ever in the series.

We recap Sting vs. Joe. In case you didn’t catch it the first 948 times, it’s about RESPECT.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Samoa Joe

Joe is defending. We get a video on Sting during his entrance, which lists him as 6’2, even though the tale of the tape said 6’3. They really should have that kind of stuff in sync. Joe’s video doesn’t say much and he’s the heel here because only an idiot would try to turn Sting heel. Joe sends Sting right to the floor to start before nailing the suicide elbow. They head into the crowd with the champion in control and hammering away on Sting.

Joe dives out of a luxury box with a dropkick to Sting in the aisle for a scary visual. They head back down towards the ring with Sting getting in a few shots to take over. Well as much as you can take over in the middle of the crowd. Joe comes back with a running big boot to drop Sting and they finally make it back to ringside. The fans are against Joe as he hits a quick enziguri in the corner.

Sting fights out of the MuscleBuster and hits a tornado DDT (that’s a new one) followed by a top rope splash for two. The champion comes back with his Boston crab into an STF into the Crossface into the Rings of Saturn but Sting gets a boot on the ropes. A powerslam gets two for Joe and frustration is setting in. Sting hits a pair of Stinger Splashes and loads up the MuscleBuster but has to opt for a fisherman’s buster instead.

Joe pops back up and is like old man please before going off on him with strikes. A Scorpion Death Drop is no sold by Sting and there’s another Stinger Splash. He loads it up again but charges into a release Rock Bottom out of the corner. The fans are getting back into Joe. The champ hammers away on Sting and the veteran can barely get up.

Joe hammers away and tells Sting to come on, so here’s Joe’s mentor Kevin Nash. A DDT plants Sting (and draws some swearing) so he goes to get the bat. Nash takes it away though and the Samoan hammers away. The referee has to dive out of the way and Nash nails Joe with the bat. The Death Drop gives Sting the title. Again.

Rating: C+. Just in case you forgot what Sting winning the World Title at Bound For Glory looked like. The match was getting better at the end but Nash brought it down a bit. I get what they were going for and it worked well enough, but I’m almost always going to want a clean ending over something like this. Somehow Joe hasn’t gotten the title back in six years.

Nash walks out immediately to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The show is good though it had some problems. The opening stuff is a cross between messy and forgettable but the last few matches range from good to excellent which is what you want for a big show. Sting getting the title again made me roll my eyes back then and it still does so here. I like the Mafia idea, but was there NO ONE else you could put in that spot? Well not really actually but have him win the title somewhere else so Bound For Glory isn’t hogged so much.

Ratings Comparison

Steel Asylum

Original: C+

Redo: C

Bimbo Brawl

Original: F+

Redo: D

Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Consequences Creed

Original: D

Redo: C-

Awesome Kong vs. Roxxi vs. Taylor Wilde

Original: D

Redo: D+

Beer Money Inc. vs. Abyss/Matt Morgan vs. LAX vs. Team 3D

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Booker T. vs. AJ Styles vs. Christian Cage

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett

Original: B

Redo: A-

Samoa Joe vs. Sting

Original: C

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Someone other than Sting? Please?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/10/15/boun-for-glory-count-up-2008-sting-wants-respect/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Bound For Glory 2006
Date: October 22, 2006
Location: Compuware Sports Arena, Plymouth Township, Michigan
Attendance: 3,600
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

Things are starting to pick up for TNA and this is one of their hottest periods ever. The main story is the biggest acquisition in TNA’s history: Kurt Angle signed with the company and will be the guest referee for the main event of Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett, title vs. career. We’ll get to why that’s a questionable choice later. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about following your dreams and talks about Henry Ford in Detroit. It goes on too long like most TNA PPV openings.

Kevin Nash Open Invitational X-Division Gauntlet Battle Royal

This is a hard one to explain. Basically Kevin Nash went into one of the funniest but most bizarre stretches I’ve ever seen where he decided he wanted to market the X-Division and talked about being an X-Division legend. He also referenced Bob Backlund about a million times and none of it made any sense but Nash sold the heck out of it and the whole thing was hilarious. Anyway this is a sixteen man gauntlet match with a new entrant every sixty seconds and the final two will have a one on one match.

Nash comes out with a bowling trophy for the winner and does commentary. Austin Starr (Aries) is #1 and Sonjay Dutt is #2 to get us going with Aries working on a headlock until Dutt headscissors him down. That goes nowhere so Maverick Matt (Bentley) comes in at #3. A double back elbow drops Dutt and Starr drops an elbow for good measure. Dutt clotheslines them both down and Jay Lethal is in at #4.

Jay nails the villains and helps his buddy Dutt double team Bentley. Austin finally nails him with a back elbow out of the corner and Matt belly to bellies Dutt down. A-1, not really an X-Division guy though there wasn’t a weight limit at this point, is in at #5. He runs over everyone but doesn’t eliminate anybody until one legged Zack Gowen is in at #6. Gowen does his dropkick and moonsault to Matt but Austin runs him over.

Kazarian is in at #7 as the ring is starting to fill up. Kaz puts Sonjay up and joins forces with former partner Bentley. Everyone is bunched up in one side of the ring until Sirelda (a Chyna knockoff) is in at #8. She powerslams Kaz down and goes back and forth with Starr until a low blow slows her down. A clothesline puts her out and Kaz dumps A-1 a second later. Shark Boy is in at #9 and starts biting Starr as the fans are WAY into Sharky.

Alex Shelley, Kevin Nash’s favorite to win, is in at #10. Shelley cleans house until D-Ray 3000 is in at #11. He’s a 70s character with a bad afro who never went anywhere. Shark Boy grabs him for the old Bushwhackers Battering Ram and dumps Bentley. Johnny Devine is in at #12 and immediately puts out Gowen. Now the fans are behind Shelley as every hammers on someone else.

Elix Skipper is in at #13 but Devine blocks all of his kicks. A top rope moonsault press drops Johnny and Starr puts out Kaz. Short Sleeved Sampson, a midget wrestler, is in at #14 as Shark Boy and D-Ray 3000 eliminate each other. Starr teases throwing him over every rope until Norman Smiley comes in at #15. Sampson dropkicks Starr into the ropes so Smiley can do the Big Wiggle. Shelley dumps Sampson, who runs after referee Slick Johnson for no apparent reason.

Petey Williams comes in at #16 to give us the final grouping of Starr, Lethal, Shelley, Devine, Skipper, Smiley and Williams. As Petey comes in, referee Johnson takes off his shirt and dumps Skipper, apparently entering the match. Williams eliminates him in about two seconds as you would expect. Smiley was eliminated off camera so we’re down to five. The Canadian Destroyer plants Lethal and fires up the crowd all over again.

Petey goes to dump Jay but Shelley sneaks up to eliminate Williams instead. Starr throws Devine out and backdrops Alex out as well, leaving us with the one on one match of Lethal vs. Starr. Jay gets two off a release dragon suplex but gets crotched on the top. A quick brainbuster gives Starr the pin. The one on one stuff wasn’t even two minutes.

Rating: C+. This was fine and they kept it quick which was the right idea. They also did a good job of setting up Starr as a big deal but it wouldn’t quite work out that way. Nash’s jokes would keep going and get stranger and stranger, yet funnier at the same time. This was a good way to open the show though they could have cut out a few entrants.

Starr is given his trophy but Shelley doesn’t seem cool.

We see LAX beating down AMW and Gail Kim on Impact.

AMW says they’re ready for LAX.

America’s Most Wanted vs. Team 3D vs. Naturals vs. James Gang

So that video pretty much meant nothing didn’t it? This is one fall to a finish. The Naturals’ manager Shane Douglas does their intro and then leaves as was his custom at this point. The James Gang is the New Age Outlaws. Storm runs over Stevens to start and dropkicks him into the corner for the tag off to Ray. James gets planted with a Rock Bottom and Harris gets clotheslined for trying to make a save.

BG tags himself in and we get a double Flip Flop and Fly from he and Ray on AMW. Kip and D-Von come in and jump both guys but get clotheslined out to the floor. Storm comes back in with an enziguri to Ray before going after the Naturals, only for both teams to get caught in a Tower of Doom with Douglas taking the worst of it. BG escapes the Catatonic and hits the pumphandle slam on Harris but gets clotheslined down by Stevens.

Storm pops up with the Eye of the Storm to Chase, only to get caught in D-Von’s reverse inverted DDT. A Bubba Bomb drops Douglas but Kip hits Ray with a Fameasser. Stevens decks Kip for two on Ray as BG and I think Harris fight up the ramp. Team 3D hits a Doomsday Device on Stevens and there’s a What’s Up for Douglas. It’s table time but Stevens dropkicks Team 3D down. The Natural Disaster plants D-Von for two before he pops up for 3D on Douglas for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was kind of mess without enough time to mean anything and no flow to the match. It was a tag team version of the cruiserweight mess which was only there for high spots. It doesn’t help with the James Gang was there for nostalgia and the Naturals just weren’t that interesting. The match wasn’t bad but it didn’t do anything for me.

Shane Douglas comes out and stares at Team 3D but it doesn’t go anywhere. He yells at the Naturals instead.

JB tries to get an interview with Samoa Joe but finds Jake Roberts instead. Jake is refereeing the Monster’s Ball match tonight.

We recap Monster’s Ball. Joe had stolen Jeff Jarrett’s World Title belt and TNA boss Jim Cornette wanted to get it back. Abyss agreed to get it back in exchange for the first title shot. Raven and Brother Runt (Spike Dudley) stopped Abyss before he could deliver the title to Cornette. The result was a four way Monster’s Ball, because this is what Samoa Joe should be doing instead of fighting a top star. You know, the guy that beat the World Champion in the main event of a pay per view last month.

Samoa Joe vs. Brother Runt vs. Abyss vs. Raven

Anything goes with one fall to a finish and Jake Roberts refereeing for no apparent reason. Joe has a cut on his forehead due to Abyss trying to get the belt back. Everyone gangs up on Joe in the corner and Abyss throws him out to the floor. Runt heads outside to get some weapons as Raven hammers away on Abyss. The drop toehold puts Abyss face first onto the chair and Raven hiptosses Runt onto Abyss for good measure.

Joe comes back in and cleans house and hits the Facewash on Raven in the corner. Raven and Runt break up a double chokeslam attempt and Abyss throws him over the top rope and into the crowd. That kind of spot always looks cool. Raven hits the discus lariat to put Abyss outside and follows him out with a dive. Joe dives over the top to take all of them out and lands on his feet for good measure. Abyss is up first and throws Joe through a table before chasing Runt up the set. A BIG chokeslam sends Runt down onto the stage in a big crash. Abyss dives onto Runt for an even bigger crash but the camera is on Roberts.

Raven knocks Joe through another table as Abyss takes Runt back into the ring. Abyss plants Raven for two as Roberts takes forever to count. Joe gets back in and breaks up Shock Treatment on Raven. He dumps Raven to the floor and hits a running boot to Abyss’ chest, only to miss the backsplash. Abyss loads up a chair but walks into a powerslam onto the steel for another slow two.

Raven gets back in and drop toeholds Joe out to the floor to slow things down again. We get the tacks brought in but Jake brings in his bag to stop it for no apparent reason. Raven jumps Roberts and loads up a DDT but Abyss makes the save. Now the tacks are spread out and Abyss loads up the Black Hole Slam, only to have Joe low bridge Raven to the floor. Joe sends Abyss into the tacks and puts on the Clutch but Raven breaks it up with a chair. Jake grabs the chair and DDTs Raven, setting up the MuscleBuster to give Joe the pin on Raven.

Rating: C-. This was nowhere near as good as last year’s match and it felt like a formality until Joe got the win. He didn’t need to be in this match and it was a big waste of his time. The match was a decent brawl but it felt like lining up bodies for Joe to crush in short order. Speaking of short, Runt disappeared for the last five minutes of the match. Also what in the world was the point of Roberts being there?

Raven gets the snake treatment post match.

Eric Young is panicking over possibly getting fired (as always). Larry Zbyszko comes in and says he already has Young beaten.

We recap Young vs. Zbyszko. Larry was a corrupt boss who cost Young his job but the other boss, Jim Cornette, reinstated Eric to have a Loser Gets Fired match here.

Eric Young vs. Larry Zbyszko

The fans are entirely behind Eric. Since this is a Larry Zbyszko match, we’re quickly into the stalling. Eric points at Larry to make the fans boo then points at himself to make the fans cheer. Somehow, this eats up over a minute and a half. Back in and Larry hits a quick kick to the ribs and puts on an abdominal stretch. Eric quickly fights out and the referee gets bumped, allowing Larry to pull out a foreign object. Since Larry is an old villain though, the plan backfires and Eric nails Larry (some hero) with the object for the pin.

Rating: F. We waited an hour and a half for our first singles match and this is what we got? As usual, when the best thing you can say about a match is that it was short, you have a major problem. This should have been Eric against a big name for Larry’s job instead of Zbyszko himself, but this is the company that just had Samoa Joe vs. Spike Dudley in the third match on the biggest show of the year.

Video on Senshi which doubles as a commercial for Mortal Kombat.

Here’s Jim Cornette with something to say. He has a very sore throat and can barely talk (I’m as shocked as you are) but there was nothing that would keep him from being here. Since Angle and Joe are so ready to fight each other, Joe loses his job if he comes to the ring for tonight’s main event.

This brings out Kurt Angle who is in the mood for a fight. Angle praises TNA and promises to call the main event right down the middle. He doesn’t need a buffer from Samoa Joe, and here’s the Samoan himself. The brawl is on immediately but security breaks it up pretty fast. The guys get at each other again but security splits them up one more time. Why this match isn’t happening on this show boggles my mind.

We recap Senshi vs. Chris Sabin. This is a rematch from No Surrender last month where Senshi won after hitting Sabin with an inflatable doll. Did I mention that was the Jackass show? This is the serious rematch after they had a good match ruined by “comedy”. Somehow this video takes two minutes.

X-Division Title: Senshi vs. Chris Sabin

Chris is challenging and is the home state boy. We’re told that Joe has been ejected from the building because TNA doesn’t know what to do with him yet. Senshi is better known as Low Ki if you haven’t heard of him before. Feeling out process to start with neither guy being able to gain the advantage. Senshi fires off kicks to the chest to start and takes Sabin down. A hard chop to the chest wakes Sabin up and there’s a Great Muta Power Drive elbow for two.

Off to a quick arm hold before Sabin comes back with forearms to the jaw. Sabin charges into two boots in the corner for two and gets caught in a bodyscissors to keep the champion in control. Back up again and they chop it out with Sabin getting the better of it, only to get kicked in the ribs. Another kick staggers Sabin but he pops back up with a missile dropkick to stun the champion.

Senshi gets kicked out to the floor for a big suicide dive from Sabin. Back in and Sabin nails an enziguri before tying Senshi in the Tree of Woe for a hesitation dropkick and two. Senshi comes back with a dragon sleeper but lets it go to try a cartwheel kick. Sabin is ready for it and kicks Senshi out of the air before nailing a wicked tornado DDT for two. They head up top for a superplex attempt but Senshi rolls through into a sunset flip, only to pop to his feet for a Warrior’s Way double stomp and two.

A springboard spinning kick to the face partially misses, allowing Sabin to get up at two. Back up and a running big boot in the corner nails Senshi right in the jaw. Senshi pops right back up because he doesn’t sell very often and tries the Ki Crusher but Sabin counters into the Cradle Shock for two.

He takes Senshi up again but the champion balances on the ropes and fires off kicks to the chest to escape. Senshi nails the top rope Warrior’s Way for a delayed two as Sabin gets his foot on the ropes. The fans are WAY into these near falls. Back to the dragon sleeper but Senshi lets go to drive in elbows, allowing Sabin to small package him for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. This had a few lulls but it worked really well near the end. I really liked the ending with Senshi not being able to beat Sabin using all of his tricks and finally abandoning his warrior mentality and going insane, allowing Sabin to grab a quick win. The near falls were red hot in this and the crowd carried it up a level. Good stuff.

Christian rants about no one caring about Rhino growing up on the streets of Detroit because no one cares about Rhino. The concussion Christian gave him is nothing compared to what’s coming here tonight. Christian is glad he wasn’t invited to Rhino’s house for dinner because Rhino’s aunt’s cooking sucked!

We recap Christian vs. Rhino. They used to be friends but Christian lost the World Title and snapped, eventually nailing Rhino over and over again with chairs and concussing him with a Conchairto. Tonight it’s an 8 Mile Street Fight (read as: a street fight) for revenge and violence. Christian hasn’t been pinned or submitted in a singles match since he debuted in TNA.

Christian Cage vs. Rhino

Rhino comes through the crowd as the hometown guy. He doesn’t want to wait in the ring though and goes out into the parking lot to slug it out in a ring of cars. It’s all Rhino to start until they head back inside with Christian being thrown through some boxes. Christian hides on top of a Zamboni machine for some reason, so Rhino just drives it into the arena. They head to the ramp with Rhino nailing him with a lamp post decoration.

It’s time to busts out the regular weapons with Rhino throwing in some chairs. He tries to bring in another lamp post but gets nailed in the arm with a chair. Rhino no sells the shot and hits Christian with the post but the Gore is met with a chair to the head. They head outside again with Rhino taking him into the crowd, apparently immune to chair shots to the head as well.

Rhino takes over again in the crowd and brings it back to ringside where he slides a table into the ring. A belly to belly drops Christian and Rhino sets up the table in the corner. Christian pops back up and nails Rhino in the head with an 8 Mile road sign. He throws the sign down and spits on it to really tick the fans off. Rhino is busted open and his eyes are glazed over. He’s not in bad enough shape that he can’t take Christian down when he charges with a ladder though and Christian is in trouble.

Rhino’s middle rope splash only hits ladder though and Christian hits the Unprettier for two. I would have thought that was the ending. A ladder shot to the face puts Rhino down again and Christian puts the ladder over Rhino’s chest. Now Christian brings in another chair and a straight jacket and Rhino is tied up. Christian misses a Conchairto and Rhino is able to fight back with kicks and headbutts until the referee gets him out of the jacket.

They fight on the apron over a table at ringside but Rhino punches him back into the ring. Instead he takes Christian right back outside for a piledriver off the apron and through the table for a BIG crash. Somehow that only gets two back inside as the fans think that was awesome. Back up and the Gore sends Rhino through the table by mistake but he’s up at two. Another Unprettier onto the broken table gets two more and Christian is livid. With nothing else to do he piles up everything in the ring on top of Rhino and nails him with a chair eight times in a row for the pin.

Rating: B+. This was a WAR with both guys hammering on each other until there was nothing left of one guy. Christian looked like a killer here and that’s what you have someone like Rhino around for. He can make people look good and brawl but a loss really doesn’t hurt him that badly. Good stuff again.

Konnan says the LAX is raising the violence tonight.

We recap the Tag Team Title match. LAX is a rising force in TNA and it takes someone special to slow them down. In this case it’s the dream team of Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles, who have traded the titles with LAX over the summer in some outstanding matches. Tonight is the final blowoff in a cage.

Tag Team Titles: LAX vs. AJ Styles/Christopher Daniels

AJ and Daniels are defending and you win by pin, submission or both guys escaping. The champions charges into the ring and the brawl is on before the bell again. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Homicide down and it’s Daniels kicking Hernandez down to start. Apparently this is one of those matches where they have to tag for a few minutes before it becomes a brawl. Styles comes in for a modified version of the drop down into the dropkick for two on Homicide.

Styles gets slammed head first onto the mat but nips up into a headscissors followed by a backbreaker for another two. AJ tries a charge but flies into the cage and it’s off to big Hernandez. SuperMex LAUNCHES AJ into the cage so Daniels comes in to try and save his partner. He gets in a shot on Homicide but Hernandez takes him down with a big clothesline. An electric chair from Hernandez followed by a top rope elbow drop from Homicide gets two on Daniels.

AJ is already busted open as Hernandez slams Daniels down for another two count. Konnan hands Homicide what looks like a fork to stab Daniels in the head to draw even more blood. Back to Hernandez to send Daniels into the cage and nail him with a WICKED powerbomb for another near fall with Styles making the save. Homicide spits tequila in Daniels’ face before taking him to the top, only to get hiptossed down to the mat to put both guys down.

The hot tag brings in AJ for the smoothest moonsault into the reverse DDT I’ve ever seen him hit for two on Homicide. We finally get down to the brawl that everyone has been waiting for with the champions taking over. They go high/low on Homicide and drive Hernandez into the cage twice in a row. The Pele staggers Homicide and now it’s Daniels with the fork carving up Homicide’s head.

Hernandez gets knocked into the corner but pops back up to splash Daniels into the corner. Another Pele puts Hernandez down and AJ goes all the way to the top of the cage. Homicide follows him up and grabs Styles’ head. Daniels grabs Homicide but Hernandez grabs them both for the Tower of Doom.

AJ is still up top though and hits a HUGE high cross body onto Hernandez for two. A pair of Gringo Cutters drop the champions….and Hernandez goes all the way to the top of the cage. This can’t end well. He misses the big splash on Styles and everyone is down. Daniels loads up Angel’s Wings on Hernandez but Konnan hands Homicide a coat hanger to choke Daniels down to the mat. Konnan chokes Daniels against the cage, leaving AJ alone. Styles loads up Homicide for the Clash but Hernadnez takes his head off, allowing Homicide to hit the Gringo Killa for the pin and the titles.

Rating: A. Oh yeah this was awesome. This feud was named Feud of the Year in TNA and should have been feud of the year in wrestling (except in Dave Meltzer’s mind because he gave a wrestling award to an MMA feud). It’s a great war with both teams seemingly having the match won time after time. Check out this entire series as it’s more than worth your time.

We recap Sting vs. Jarrett. They’ve been feuding for months and Sting had his ONE shot at Hard Justice but blew the chance to get rid of the “cancer” from TNA. Then Samoa Joe beat Jarrett at No Surrender, so of course the match at Bound For Glory is Sting vs. Jarrett again because the ONE TIME they should have done a triple threat, they give it to Sting again because he needs this honor as well right? Sting’s career is on the line, even though he hadn’t been seen in months before. No seriously, he didn’t even come on TV to hype this up save for maybe once near the end.

NWA World Title: Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett is defending and Angle is guest outside enforcer. Sting comes out in his old style attire with the red and black tights and white and red face paint. They trade hiptosses to start before Jeff takes over with right hands and a hiptoss of his own. Sting misses a right hand and gets dropped by a shot to the jaw. He bails to the floor for a breather but comes back in and tries to get the crowd into it. Jarrett spits at Sting and now the beating is on.

Sting busts out a powerbomb of all things to plant Jeff followed by a running clothesline to put him on the floor. Angle goes over to Jeff and gets in a needless shoving match (to be fair Jeff started it) until Sting sends Jeff into the barricade. We lose a cameraman as Angle sends the regular referee into the ring to make sure the guys can fight. The champ tries to bring in a chair but Angle takes it away, allowing Sting to suplex Jeff on the ramp. To be fair though, Angle takes the chair away from Jarrett.

Jeff tries to get in a cheap shot with a chair on Sting but takes out Angle by mistake. Back in and Jeff hooks a sleeper. Sting quickly elbows out though and a double cross body puts both guys down. The referee gets to a double nine count so Angle runs in and Angle Slams him to make sure this keeps going. Sting makes his comeback and hammers away, nailing the Stinger Splash and Death Drop but Jeff gets a shoulder up at two.

The Stroke gets the same on Sting but he comes back with a bad looking tombstone for two more. Jeff pops up and tries a middle rope Stroke but Sting slams him down, only to have his splash hit knees. The Figure Four goes on for a bit until Sting turns it over and makes the rope. Jeff puts on an ankle lock and Sting can’t make the ropes. Instead he rolls forward and sends Jeff out to the floor. Sting gets the bat but Angle takes it away. Now we get old school as Sting no sells a guitar shot and puts on the Scorpion for the submission and the title.

Rating: C+. It’s really hard to screw up Jarrett vs. Sting due to them just being so familiar with each other. Thankfully they kept the overbooking on a leash here and the match was much better as a result. I don’t think anyone thought Jarrett was leaving with the gold here but that’s fine for something like this. Joe should have been in it though. Jarrett would never get the title back.

Sting celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. There are some problems here but just like last year, the middle part of the show more than carries it over the finish line. That cage match and the street fight were both awesome and you have a solid X-Division Title match. The only bad thing on the card is Young vs. Zbyszko and that’s not even four minutes long. See, if this is what TNA was putting out now, it could be the actual alternative. I get why they got away from this, but why don’t they go back to it if they’re going to get the same results?

Ratings Comparison

Kevin Nash Open Invitational X-Division Gauntlet Battle Royal

Original: C

Redo: C+

Team 3D vs. America’s Most Wanted vs. James Gang vs. Naturals

Original: D

Redo: C-

Samoa Joe vs. Abyss vs. Raven vs. Brother Runt

Original: D

Redo: C-

Larry Zbyszko vs. Eric Young

Original: F

Redo: F

Senshi vs. Chris Sabin

Original: A-

Redo: B

Christian Cage vs. Rhino

Original: B+

Redo: B+

AJ Styles/Christopher Daniels vs. LAX

Original: A-

Redo: A

Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: B

It’s about the same but that cage match was even better the second time around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interesting:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/04/05/bound-for-glory-2006-could-have-been-a-masterpiece/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Over the last few years I’ve redone my ratings for the Big Four WWE PPVs so why not do it for the big TNA show? We’re approaching the tenth show in the series and there’s always a chance it’s going to be the last. Every day until the 2014 Bound For Glory, I’ll be posting a brand new review of a Bound For Glory. Let’s get to it.

Bound For Glory 2005
Date: October 23, 2005
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

This is still pretty early in the company’s run but things are starting to roll. Jeff Jarrett is the top guy in the company, which makes perfect sense given that he’s the owner. His opponent tonight is supposed to be Kevin Nash but there are some shenanigans afoot. Other than that we have Daniels vs. Styles in a thirty minute Iron Man Match for the X-Division Title. Let’s get to it.

The opening video starts by showing the awesome voiceover guy, which I don’t remember ever seeing before. He talks about the year of three hour pay per views that have led us to this. They’re already treating Bound For Glory like the biggest show of the year and that’s an important thing to have to look forward to.

Samoa Joe vs. Jushin Thunder Liger

No story here as this is a dream match. Joe has the full Polynesian entrance here which really does look cool. He’s still unbeaten here and is the hottest act in the company. We have to get rid of the streamers due to the pesky Japanese tradition. Liger tries some shoulders and just bounces off the big man. He asks Joe to try one of his own and takes Joe down with a drop toehold.

The fans are split on who to cheer for here as Joe is sent to the floor. A big baseball slide and dive take Joe down again. Back in and Joe hits a quick Samoan drop before a big knee gets two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Joe hits his snap powerslam for two. Liger fights up and hits a quick Liger Kick in the corner before stepping on Joe’s foot to suplex him over.

A top rope splash gets two on Joe but he comes back with an enziguri. Liger escapes what looked to be a superplex attempt and nails the Liger Bomb for two. The signature open palm thrust gets another near fall on Joe but he’s able to crotch Jushin on the top. The MuscleBuster and Koquina Clutch are enough to keep Joe undefeated.

Rating: C. The match felt like they were trying to have a passing of the torch/dream match and it only kind of worked. Given that the match wasn’t even seven and a half minutes long, this must have been a short nap kind of dream instead of a long slumber. It was good enough but I don’t think people were expecting Liger to be the first to beat Joe.

We see some fans at the arena earlier in the day at TNA’s version of Axxess.

Simon Diamond tells his fellow Diamonds in the Rough to start getting it together.

Diamonds in the Rough vs. Apolo/Sonni Siaki/Shark Boy

The Diamonds are Diamond, Elix Skipper and David Young (who lost like 99 matches in a row), Apolo is a Puerto Rican star and Siaki is a Samoa guy with a good look. Shark Boy chops at Simon to start and hits a kind of one knee Codebreaker. Diamond nails a quick clothesline and blocks a Dead Sea Drop (Diamond Dust), only to have Sharky bite his trunks. Off to Apolo vs. Skipper with Apolo nailing a quick RKO for two. A kind of half nelson slam puts Skipper down again but Simon distracts the referee, allowing Young to get in a cheap shot.

Back to Skipper who knocks Apolo out of the air for two but Apolo pops up and throws Skipper into the air for an RKO. The hot tag brings in Siaki to clean house but the Diamonds all come in for a triple team. Apolo nails Young with a TKO but Skipper uses both guys as a springboard to botch a hurricanrana on Siaki. Everything breaks down with almost everyone hitting a big dive. Shark Boy hammers on Simon outside as David hits his spinebuster for the pin on Siaki.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here with both teams looking decent, though most of the guys weren’t much to see. Apolo was a guy I always liked but he only got to do so much here. The Diamonds were almost the 3MB of their day minus the comedy. They had the talent but the constant losing didn’t help them.

We take a quick look at the four way from the preshow.

Also on the preshow, Raven and Larry Zbyszko continued their stupid feud over Raven wanting the title and Larry wanting him to quit. Security broke it up and Rhino came out to yell at Raven, asking where his edge went. He thinks a girl got into Raven’s head and wound up goring him in half. They both want the title shot later in the night.

NWA World Champion Jeff Jarrett accuses Nash of hiding from the beating that is coming to him. Larry Zbyszko can throw anyone he wants at Jarrett. Throw all the names in the hat if you want to. Screw Jeff Hardy, screw Rhino, screw Abyss, screw Sabu and screw Raven. Monty Brown comes in and tells Jarrett to say screw Monty to his face. Brown says he can smell the fear in Jarrett. Jeff tells him to go take care of a ticked off Texan and Brown promised to Pounce said Texan.

Lance Hoyt vs. Monty Brown

Tenay dedicates this show to the recently passed away Crusher. Hoyt is a big guy who wound wind up in WWE and Japan a few years later. Brown hammers him down but Hoyt comes back with a shoulder block and clothesline. A kind of flapjack puts Brown on the floor and Hoyt follows him out with a huge dive over the top. Back in and Monty fires off some loud chops but Hoyt hits him just as hard. Lance goes up top for his moonsault but Bonty shoves him down to the floor.

Back in and Brown slams him down before shouting a lot. Hoyt nails (kind of) a big boot to the face and hits the moonsault for two. Lance goes to the middle rope but dives into an Alpha Bomb (picture starting with a slam but Monty flips them into the air for a powerbomb) for two. Hoyt grabs a chokeslam for two, only to have Monty pop up with the Pounce for the pin.

Rating: C+. I was really liking this one with Hoyt throwing everything he could at Brown but Monty surviving everything and hitting one of the biggest moves in TNA for the pin. Hoyt had something but when his gimmick in WWE was “I’M INTENSE!”, he didn’t have a ton of hope. Good match.

Video on some TNA guys in Japan.

The 3 Live Kru says they’re united and aren’t worried about Team Canada tonight. Kip James (Billy Gunn) comes in to offer his support. Ron Killings (R-Truth) and BG James (Road Dogg) like the idea but Konnan hates Kip being involved and walks out.

Team Canada vs. 3 Live Kru

This would be Bobby Roode/Eric Young/A-1 vs. BG James/Konnan/Ron Killings. These teams have feuded with each other for months and traded the Tag Team Titles a few times back in 2004. James does the 3 Live Kru version of the New Age Outlaws intro. Young and Konnan get things going with Konnan rolling around a lot and sending Eric into the corner. He takes out all three Canadians on his own and throws his shoe at Young (regular spot for him) to knock Eric outside. Killings does a kind of What’s Up on Roode and the Kru stands tall.

Bobby settles down but gets taken down by a headscissors from Killings. Kip James is sitting on the entrance ramp as James and Killings stomp on Roode. Bobby finally comes back with a full nelson slam for two and we look at Kip. Tenay: “That’s Kip James!” This is a much odder comment after Tenay just got done discussing what was on Kip’s shirt.

The fans chant New Age Outlaws as A-1 powerslams Killings down for two. Killings finally comes back with the spinning forearm and BG comes in off the hot tag. The shaky knee drop gets two on Eric as everything breaks down. Roode sneaks in the hockey stick to knock BG out and give Eric the pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere but this feud was long since dead by this point. We had seen them fight so long and the fans just wanted the New Age Outlaws to reunite anyway. They just needed something fresh and having them fight again isn’t the right idea.

Post match BG gets beaten down until Kip makes the save. Team Canada holds Konnan for Kip to hit with a chair but he cleans house instead.

Shane Douglas asks Zbyszko who is getting the title shot tonight but Larry is waiting on a phone call. Someone is getting a shot tonight though.

Video on Ultimate X, basically explaining the concept for new fans. For those of you unfamiliar, there are four tresses at corners of the ring with two ropes about ten feet above the ring connecting the tresses. You climb the tresses and get across the polls to pull down the red X at their intersection to win. This transitions into recapping tonight’s match for a future X-Division Title match, which doesn’t have much of a story other than they all want the title shot.

Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin vs. Matt Bentley

Bentley is Shawn Michaels’ cousin and has a good looking woman named Traci with him. Williams tries to climb first but get double teamed for his efforts. Petey gets back in and hammers on both guys, including a few suplexes to Sabin. Bentley catches Petey in a wheelbarrow suplex but has to pull Sabin off the ropes with a kind of atomic drop. Both good guys are down so Petey tries to climb but Traci offers a distraction by slamming his face into her chest.

It almost works as Bentley is most of the way to the X until both other guys make the save. Sabin sends Bentley into the corner and hits a running release buckle bomb to send Williams onto Matt. Petey comes back with a wicked tornado DDT on Bentley but Sabin goes up for the X. That goes nowhere and it’s Williams dropping a leg to Sabin on the apron.

Williams nails a hurricanrana off the apron to take Bentley down, leaving him as the only man halfway standing. His knee is banged up though and both other guys come in with Bentley taking both opponents down. Sabin and Matt go for the X but it’s Sabin with a HUGE powerbomb off the cables to put all three down again. This time it’s Petey and Sabin going up with Petey kicking him into a Tree of Woe and standing on his crotch to sing O Canada.

Bentley gets back up and shoves Petey to the floor. Williams’ coach Scot D’Amore: “THAT’S NOT FAIR!” Sabin shoves Bentley to the floor, leaving him all alone. Instead of going for the X though, he busts out a moonsault press to take out Williams and Bentley. Sabin goes up again but Bentley spears him off the cables…..and the X falls down.

The match completely stops so the crew can hang it up again. Bentley is the only one thinking as he throws Williams to the floor and hits a dive to try to distract the crowd. Sabin joins them on the floor as the crew gets it hung up again. Sabin and Bentley both go for it but crash down, dropping the X again. Williams catches it and the referee says that’s good enough to prevent further embarrassment.

Rating: C. The ending just kills this match but you can’t blame that on the wrestlers. They were having a good match until the structure messed up and threw them off. It looks really bad for TNA as the announcers had to point out that you’re not supposed to win that way, but really what else could they do? These matches are always tricky and make you think they should just be having a ladder match.

Bentley is livid.

We look at AMW joining forces with Jeff Jarrett and helping him get the World Title back. They then destroyed the recently arrived Team 3D, setting up a HILARIOUS funeral for Ray and D-Von. They also destroyed the Naturals to win the Tag Team Titles, setting up tonight’s rematch.

Tag Team Titles; Naturals vs. AMW

The Naturals are Chase Stevens and Andy Douglas and the champs have Gail Kim in their corner. It’s a big brawl to start with the Naturals in full control on the floor. Things settle down with Stevens vs. Storm in the ring but the Naturals double team him into a running powerbomb against the barricade. Harris gets double teamed in the ring as Storm stumbles up the ramp.

The Naturals go after him to keep up the beating and both champs are sent into the barricade. Douglas chokes Harris with tape until Gail Kim offers a distraction, allowing Harris to send him into the metal tress. Andy is busted open and AMW goes after the cut as we get down to a regular tag match. Eye of the Storm gets two on Andy but he’s able to get over to the corner for the hot tag.

Stevens cleans house and Storm hits Harris by mistake. Storm misses a pair of superkicks and gets nailed by Stevens for two. Gail throws in some powder but Stevens knocks it into Harris’ face, causing him to hit the Cataonic on James. The Naturals hit AMW’s Death Sentence for two on Harris. They load up the Natural Disaster (elevated Stunner) but Gail comes in to break it up. Douglas goes after her but Harris gets up and handcuffs him to the barricade. More distractions let Storm bust a beer bottle over Stevens’ head, setting up the Death Sentence to retain the titles.

Rating: B. This was a really solid brawl with the Naturals getting as close as they could to winning the titles. AMW had only won the belts back a few days before this so they weren’t about to drop them this fast. They’re the best team TNA ever had and there’s no reason to have them lose this fast. It also helps that they so rarely beat the Naturals, who were billed as the team AMW couldn’t figure out for awhile.

Video on Monster’s Ball. The idea was the guys are held without food, water or human contact for twenty four hours before the match though I believe this is the last time that idea was used. There isn’t much of a story here other than all four guys are hardcore and want to be the best.

James Mitchell says Abyss will be ready.

Jeff Hardy vs. Sabu vs. Rhino vs. Abyss

Anything goes and weapons are encouraged. Rhino and Abyss attack Hardy to start but Sabu pelts a chair at them to break it up. Sabu and Rhino head out to the floor, allowing Hardy to hit Poetry in Motion on Abyss, followed by a big dive over the top to nail him on the floor as well. All four guys head into the crowd and Sabu is already bleeding from the eye. Hardy dives off a wall onto Abyss and all four are back at ringside. Jeff pours out a trashcan full of weapons as Sabu hits a big springboard plancha to take out Rhino.

The Whisper in the Wind drops Abyss but he counters the Twist of Fate into Shock Treatment. Rhino starts cleaning house with a chair and Hardy uses Sabu to set up another Poetry in Motion on Abyss. Now Rhino destroys everyone with a kendo stick but the Gore is countered by Abyss’ chokeslam. Hardy and Abyss fight to the floor while Rhino whips Sabu with a weightlifting belt. Abyss pounds Hardy up against the stage and sets up a table next to it.

Sabu bridges a table between the ring and the barricade as Hardy nails Abyss with a chair and puts him on the table by the stage. Sabu drives Rhino through the table at ringside while Hardy climbs the set and dives OVER THE STAGE for a Swanton through Abyss through the tables. That was INSANE. Rhino wedges a chair in the corner but Sabu avoids the Gore and hits a quick Triple Jump Moonsault for two. Abyss is back in and throws Sabu through a table, only to get Gored through another table. Jeff is somehow not dead and hammers away on Rhino, only to get piledriven off the middle rope to give Rhino the pin.

Rating: B. That Hardy spot was incredible and the rest of the brawl was really good as well. They just let four guys beat the tar out of each other and about thirteen minutes and the results worked really well. Rhino’s piledriver to end it looked awesome as well, making the whole thing violent fun.

Zbyszko announces a ten man gauntlet match for tonight’s shot at the title. The participants have all competed already tonight. Shane thinks that’s unfair to Jarrett.

We recap Daniels vs. Styles for the X-Division Title in an Iron Man match. This is actually a rematch after Styles won the first Iron Man match. Daniels said he could beat any three X-Division wrestlers in fifteen minutes. Styles of course was the third guy and the brawl set up the rematch here.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

Thirty minute Iron Man match and AJ is defending. Daniels jumps him before the bell and hammers away in the corner with forearms and chops. A gorilla press drops AJ but he comes back right hand hands and a backbreaker. AJ hits a nice running back elbow to knock Dnaiels to the floor. Back in and Daniels counters the drop down into a dropkick spot with a right hand but AJ comes back with a dropkick of his own to put Daniels down.

They head to the floor with AJ getting a big running start to dive over the barricade and take Daniels down. Back in and Styles works on a headlock as we hit 25:00 to go. Daniels tries to roll him up to escape and finally reverses into an armbar. AJ spins out of a wristlock into one of his own before taking Daniels down for another headlock. In a clever bit, Daniels tries AJ’s dropdown dropkick spot but AJ holds the ropes and nails him in the head for two.

Back up and AJ sends him into all six buckles for a near fall. Off to a Last Chancery on Daniels as we hit 20:00 to go. Daniels escapes and hits a quick high collar suplex to put both guys down. Christopher starts in on the neck but switches to a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. He hooks a neck crank but has to kick out of a few rollups from the champion. Daniels puts on a Koji Clutch to keep Styles in trouble but AJ makes the ropes.

A slingshot moonsault gets two on AJ so Daniels just hammers him with forearms to the head. We’re halfway through the match and AJ comes back with the springboard moonsault into the reverse DDT to get a breather. Some clotheslines and a spinwheel kick drop Daniels again and a suplex gets two. There’s a pumphandle gutbuster for the same but Styles’ springboard is caught in a Death Valley Driver for a very close two.

Daniels flips him off the top into a sitout slam for two more and frustration is setting in. Styles suplexes Daniels into a neckbreaker for two but charges into a Blue Thunder Bomb. BME connects for two and Christopher is stunned. We hit 10:00 left as AJ lifts him up into a Torture Rack before spinning Daniels down with a powerbomb for two. Daniels avoids a charge in the corner and knees AJ to the floor where he bounces off the steps. As soon as AJ gets up he turns around into a suicide dive to put both guys down on the floor.

They try to get back in but AJ nails the Pele to put Daniels back on the floor. AJ follows him out with a HUGE flip dive and both guys are down again. They slowly get to the apron but Daniels belly to back suplexes Styles onto the floor again, leaving both guys in an even bigger heap that before. Daniels gets back in with five minutes to go and kicks AJ back to the floor. Back in again and they slug it out with AJ getting the better of it at four minutes left.

They trade rollups for two each before Styles misses a Pele. More rollups get two each and AJ tries a Tajiri handspring, only to get caught in a release German suplex with three minutes to go. AJ scores with a discus lariat to put both guys down until two minutes left. Styles avoids a charge and hits a high cross body but Daniels rolls through for two.

Another forearm exchange sends Daniels to the ropes at a minute left on the clock. An enziguri gets two on Daniels but he comes back with one of his own, only to have AJ counter Angel’s Wings with a suplex. Styles tries a rollup but shifts over to the Styles Clash for the pin with two seconds left to retain the title.

Rating: A-. This took its time but that’s kind of the point of the match. They were countering everything each other had and learning as the match went which is one of my favorite things to see. It’s really hard to screw up a match between these two and this is one of their better ones because the match was still fresh at this point. One other great thing: AJ didn’t just survive. He beat Daniels with his finishing move.

Promo for Genesis.

Gauntlet For The Gold

This is a ten man Royal Rumble with the winner getting a World Title shot immediately after. The first two wrestlers fight for two minutes and there’s a new entrant every minute with over the top and to the floor eliminations. Samoa Joe comes in at #1 and Ron Killings at #2 with Killings mocking Joe’s dancing for the first fifty seconds or so. Joe sends him into the corner for the Facewash but Killings pulls himself to the top rope for a Blockbuster. A Downward Spiral drops Joe again and Killings goes for the elimination until Sabu (with a chair) is in at #3.

Both guys in the ring get pelted with the chair and a Triple Jump Moonsault crushes Killings. Joe nails Sabu with the chair and Lance Hoyt is in at #4. Lance kicks everyone in the face and Joe plants Sabu with a DDT. Abyss is in at #5 and immediately stares down Joe. They chop it out and grab each other by the throat but Killings breaks it up. Jeff Hardy is in at #6 and the ring is really getting full.

Sabu’s cut has opened up again as Hardy hammers on everyone in sight. The guys are getting tired now as Monty Brown is in at #7. He Pounces Sabu and throws Jeff to the apron. It’s a botched spot though as they were both supposed to go out, so Monty has to jump over and eliminate himself. Don West is trying to say Brown didn’t understand the rules to cover for that horrible looking spot.

Rhino, who can barely walk, is in at #8. He gets in a brawl with Hoyt and puts the big man out before getting hammered down by Abyss. Kip James (who didn’t wrestle tonight) is in at #9 and takes everyone down with clotheslines and punches. A Fameasser drops Abyss and AJ Styles is in at #10 to screw over Raven one more time. Styles can barely move either so Abyss hammers on him in the corner. Sabu was put out off camera so we have a final grouping of Joe, Killings, James, Abyss, Styles and Rhino.

Everything slows down until AJ carries Truth to the apron. Kip tries to eliminate him and falls out to get us down to five. He saved Killings in the process though so Ron kicks AJ down. AJ gets all ticked off and muscles Killings over the top. Kip tries to make a save but referees shove him away, sending Killings down to the floor. Joe puts AJ in the choke but Abyss puts them both out. Rhino nails a Gore out of nowhere and tosses Abyss out for the title shot.

Rating: C-. There was only so much they could do here as half of the guys had to sell injuries. I’ll give them this though: there were a bunch of guys in there that could conceiveably win so this wasn’t the most obvious ending in the world. It’s nothing great but at least they kept it quick and only had a few dead spots.

NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Rhino

MMA fighter Tito Ortiz is guest referee for no apparent reason. Jeff has Gail Kim with him and brings out a casket, again for no apparent reason. Jarrett stomps away at Rhino to start and nails him with a nice dropkick. He slides under the ropes for an uppercut and sends Rhino into the barricade over and over. Rhino is busted open and being slammed into the announcers’ table doesn’t help things. Now it’s a shot into the casket as Rhino has had no offense.

Back in and a pair of top rope clotheslines drop Rhino and Jeff is getting cocky. He goes up again but Rhino catches him by the throat and kicks the champ low. The Gore misses though and Gail Kim goes up top, only to get caught in midair by Tito. He takes her to the floor, allowing Jarrett to stop a Gore with the guitar shot. Tito comes back in for a two count and Jeff is stunned. Now AMW comes out with another guitar, earning them both right hands from Ortiz. Rhino avoids the guitar shot and Gores Jarrett down for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. You have to give this a break as it was much more about telling a story than the match itself. The idea was Rhino being beaten down so much all night and hitting one big move to win the title. It actually works as the Gore is the kind of move you can hit out of nowhere for a pin and it really worked here. The match didn’t last long enough but to be fair, Rhino had wrestled half an hour already with half of that coming in a very violent match.

AMW beats Rhino down post match until 3 Live Kru makes the save. Team Canada comes out to take out the Kru and the casket is brought into the ring. There’s a guitar shot to knock Rhino into the casket. Jarrett poses on the casket with the belt until Team 3D returns to beat down Jarrett’s army. Rhino gets out of the casket as Eric Young takes a 3D and is thrown into the casket to end the show. I REALLY hate that ending as it makes this all about Team 3D instead of the new champion. That just wasn’t needed.

Overall Rating: B+. This was an awesome show with some very good matches in the middle and nothing really bad. It felt like the biggest show of the year and was probably the best TNA show of their first year on pay per view. Rhino winning was a nice moment to go out on, even though he only held the title a month. The key thing though is they gave us this moment. You don’t need a big reign as long as you have the big win. That’s a lesson more wrestling companies need to learn. Really solid show here and one of TNA’s best ever.

As I do with the WWE shows, I’ll be comparing my original rating to the new ones and offering a quick final thought on the new version.

Ratings Comparison

Samoa Joe vs. Jushin Thunder Liger

Original: D+

Redo: C

Apolo/Shark Boy/Sonny Siaki vs. Diamonds in the Rough

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Monty Brown vs. Lance Hoyt

Original: C

Redo: C+

Team Canada vs. 3 Live Kru

Original: D

Redo: D+

Chris Sabin vs. Petey Williams vs. Matt Bentley

Original: D+

Redo: C

America’s Most Wanted vs. The Naturals

Original: B

Redo: B

Jeff Hardy vs. Sabu vs. Rhino vs. Abyss

Original: B

Redo: B

AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

Original: A

Redo: A-

Gauntlet Match

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Rhino vs. Jeff Jarrett

Original: C

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: B+

Still one of TNA’s best, which says a lot given how fast they had to change the main event around. Remember that: the less Nash in the main event, the better your show is.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/05/26/bound-for-glory-2005-if-all-tna-shows-were-like-this-id-rarely-complain/