IMG Credit: Lucha Underground

Lucha Underground
Date: June 27, 2018
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video recaps the opening of the season and last week’s show, which set up tonight’s casket match.

Ricky Mundo is with the rest of Lucha Underground and playing with his creepy, dirty baby doll. Johnny Mundo and Taya come in and say it’s time for war with the Reptile Tribe. Well save for Jack Evans, who is scared of snakes. Johnny asks where Angelico is and everyone leaves. The baby gives an evil laugh and says Ricky’s secret is safe with her because dolls are creepy.

Jack Evans vs. XO Lishus

Lishus is an exotico (man in drag) and rather flamboyant. Evans handles his old entrance because he’s kind of a jerk at times but it works for him. An armdrag into a split has Evans in trouble and Lishus, ahem, thrusts out his hips as he stands up. A Matrix lets Lishus avoid a clothesline so Evans hits a moonsault onto him instead. Evans gets sent to the floor though for a big dive as the fans seem to like Lishus.

Back in and Evans cranks on the arm, followed by a front flip into an eye poke in the corner. It’s off to a freaky arm hold with Evans pushing on Lishus’ face with a boot, causing him to lose an eyelash. Lishus fights up so Evans kicks him in the face but gets sent into the corner. Christy Hemme’s old Flying Firecrotch Guillotine (just go with it) gets two on Evans but a super X Factor is enough to put Evans away at 5:55.

Rating: D+. Not terrible here but I’ve never been a fan of the exotico gimmicks. This guy at least can have the matches to back it up though, putting him at least a few steps ahead of some of the others I’ve seen over the years. They need some new characters though and this is at least something fresh, which is as good as they can do right now.

Pentagon Dark talks about all the people he’s defeated to hang onto the title. No one is taking it from him, because he’s Pentagon. Cage ran in and hit him with the Lucha Underground Title, followed by a powerbomb off the apron through a table. See, Pentagon can’t break him because he’s a machine.

Melissa Santos is worried about losing Fenix. He’s all “I got this” before getting a kiss.

Mil Muertes vs. Fenix vs. Jeremiah Crane

Three way casket match with elimination rules. They go at it to start with Crane being sent to the floor and Fenix doing all his flips to drop Muertes. Now it’s Crane back in to send Fenix outside for a suicide elbow, only to have Fenix pop back up top for a moonsault to the floor. Fenix wraps a wreath around Crane’s head and rams him face first into the casket but Muertes is right back up.

Crane runs around the ring for some reason, only to get cut off by a hard shoulder. Muertes throws Crane onto the casket but a double superkick cuts him off. A powerbomb puts Muertes through a table and Crane takes Fenix up the steps and piledrives him on a balcony. Muertes is up there with them though, only to have Fenix dive off a higher balcony to take them both down. You know, as Fenix is known to do. Crane falls down the steps and it’s time for a table inside. Just in case we didn’t have enough violence yet.

Fenix loads up something off the top to put Crane through a table but gets thrown over the post, landing on Muertes on another table on the floor. Back in and Crane piledrives Fenix through the other table (egads) but here’s Ivelisse with a HAMMER to Crane’s knee and hand for a save. She knocks Crane into the casket and shuts the lid to get us down to two. Guys in skeleton masks come out to, I guess the word is collect, Crane as we take a break. Back with Muertes running Fenix down and going after his mask.

A turnbuckle pad is pulled off so Muertes catapults Fenix face first into the buckle. That’s not enough so he unhooks the buckle to disable the bottom rope. The empty casket is brought in and a dropkick puts Muertes in, only to have Muertes block the door. Muertes knocks him out of the air and drops Fenix onto the casket to dent the door. Fenix is dead so Muertes throws him in the other casket to win at 24:38 as Striker quotes the Bible because he’s never one to let a chance to sound melodramatic pass by.

Rating: B+. These matches never disappoint as they don’t try for anything more than violence for the sake of violence. Muertes needed to win something like this as it’s a monster doing monster things. You can only beat him so many times before it stops mattering and that’s the path they were heading down. He’s a great character who is basically this company’s version of Undertaker/Kane so he needs something like this every now and then.

Matanza is in chains and Antonio says this was his fault. Dario Cueto wasted Matanza’s powers and it’s time for Matanza to become a god. Antonio throws him the key, allowing Matanza to free himself, before walking away. Matanza roars a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I wasn’t feeling the first match but the main event was a lot of fun and showed you why Lucha Underground became such an underground sensation. The characters are starting to grow again and when you have a cool match to help pay it off, things get that much better. Good show here, as things are hopefully getting back into the groove that has worked for them so well over the first three seasons.

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Date: August 9, 2017
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

It’s time to set the final four in the Cueto Cup as we’ll be having the final two quarterfinal matches tonight. In addition to that though, we’re restarting the process of putting together the Gift of the Gods Title and that means it’s time to find some people to possess the medallions. Let’s get to it.

The opening video of course looks at the tournament so far, plus the Worldwide Underground getting a chance to win three medallions tonight.

Aztec Medallions: Rabbit Tribe vs. Worldwide Underground

The winners all get medallions of course. Before the Worldwide Underground comes out, the Rabbit Tribe (Paul London/Saltador/Mala Suerte) dance around Melissa Santos, who doesn’t seem to mind. Taya and Saltador start with the latter sliding between her legs and shoving her down by the back of her trunks. Ricky Mandel comes in and takes a hurricanrana, followed by a standing moonsault for two.

Taya charges into a clothesline but sends Suerte into the corner. All three members of the Tribe get in the corner for a Bronco Buster because we’ve somehow teleported back to the Attitude Era. Everything breaks down and the Underground is knocked out to the floor, leaving Mandel to get caught in a neckbreaker. London adds a shooting star for the pin and the medallions at 4:36.

Rating: D+. Not long enough to get anywhere but the Tribe’s oddness is starting to grow on me. I get that it’s the idea but for once it’s actually working. It’s also interesting to see the Underground lose as you would have guessed the three of them would make it to the seven way but a bit of a surprise can be a nice thing.

Post break, the Underground’s agent yells at the losing team and says they would be fired if not for Johnny Mundo’s intervention.

Cueto Cup Quarterfinals: Jeremiah Crane vs. Mil Muertes

Muertes jumps him in the aisle and the fight is on in a hurry. Muertes throws him through some boxes and we take a break with no bell. Back with Crane being thrown through a door as Striker says this is going to be a No DQ match. They fight in the balcony above the announcers’ area with Crane being thrown down to a lower balcony as this has been one sided so far. Crane fights back but gets sent into the post for his efforts, followed by going into the apron.

They finally get inside and I guess the match has already started as there’s no bell. Crane is quickly sent back outside and through some empty wooden chairs. Some chops have no effect on Muertes so Crane tries a lap around the ring, only to get cut in half by a spear. Muertes throws some chairs into the ring and a backbreaker puts Crane through them for two.

Crane gets all fired up and hits Muertes in the head with a chair over and over to get a breather. The chair is set over Muertes’ throat and Crane pounds it down with the other chair. Now it’s table time (duh) but Muertes spears him down instead. Muertes drops him face first onto the apron and it seems like it’s time to wrap things up.

Back in and another spear is countered with a guillotine choke but Muertes drops him down for the break. Muertes throws in a table but Crane puts him through it instead for a very close two. Jeremiah goes to the middle rope and dives right into the Flatliner to send Muertes to the semifinals at 10:15 (with the clock starting when they first got into the ring).

Rating: B-. Crane has gotten a huge rub from this tournament and it’s kind of sad to see him eliminated. Muertes is the right choice to go forward though as even though he’s not as dominant as he used to be, there’s always the chance that he could go on a tear and destroy everyone else to win the tournament.

Catrina kisses Crane, who seems to like it. That earns him a hard kick to the head and the villains leave.

An FBI agent comes to see Dario Cueto and says that the Order has chosen him to replace Councilman Delgado. The death seems to be news to Cueto but he’s a bit shaken by the agent’s presence. The agent says he’s a big Pentagon Dark fan but even his skin will burn when the war comes. All that matters is bringing the gods back to power.

Cueto Cup Quarterfinals: The Mack vs. Pentagon Dark

Texano goes right after him and gets two off a leg lariat. Pentagon knocks him outside though and nails a big running kick to the head. A Codebreaker with Pentagon hanging over the ropes gives Texano control again and he sends Pentagon hard into the barricade. Cue Famous B. and Brenda for a distraction, allowing Pentagon to hit back to back Sling Blades.

Texano kicks him down again though, only to charge into a Backstabber out of the corner. Something like an Indian Deathlock has Pentagon in trouble but he’s quickly in the ropes. Texano puts him in the Tree of Woe for a delayed dropkick, followed by a middle rope leg lariat for two. Famous B. tries to throw in a horseshoe but Pentagon takes it away and knocks Texano out for the easy pin at 6:08.

Rating: D+. The Famous B. stuff feels so out of place in the tournament, which is one of the biggest things Lucha Underground has ever done. B. is pure comedy (not exactly funny comedy that is) and that’s not what you should be having with one of the most serious characters in the company.

The semifinals are now set:

Pentagon Dark vs. Mil Muertes

Prince Puma vs. Fenix

Post match Pentagon loads up Texano’s arm but B. calls him out. That earns B. his second broken arm but Pentagon isn’t done. After leaving for a bit, Pentagon comes back to break Brenda’s arm to end the show.

Catrina is meeting Captain Vazquez, who she seems to know. Catrina says the gods don’t fear her and Vazquez talks about the gods using Cage’s gauntlet as a gateway. They both pull out their halves of the medallion and Vazquez says only one man in the Temple can take the gauntlet from Cage. He just so happens to answer to Catrina (Muertes’ name isn’t mentioned but it’s heavily implied), but she points out that without her half of the medallion, Vazquez will no longer be immortal. Catrina says the gods will learn to fear a thousand deaths and leave, after saying goodbye to her mother. Now that’s a twist.

Overall Rating: B-. This show did what it needed to do as we can see the end of the tournament from here. Things have really picked up and now that we have two great matches next week and then the big show, things should start getting back to the point that made this show such a hit. Throw in the storylines FINALLY picking up and this was one of the more entertaining shows they’ve done in a good, long while.

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Date: July 12, 2017
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

It’s time for the second round of the Cueto Cup as we’re down to sixteen names. Hopefully that means the end of the squashes which dominated so much of the first round. You can probably guess the winner fairly easily but it’s nice to have some good matches along the way. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the tournament and some first round matches.

Cueto Cup Second Round: Jeremiah Crane vs. Taya

Taya turns up the sex appeal to land an early slap but Crane does the same, minus the sex appeal that is. That sends Taya outside for a suicide elbow, followed by a run around the ring for a flip dive to drive Taya through a chair. Back up and Taya knocks him off the barricade for a dive of her own.

She hammers on Crane back inside, followed by a running boot in the corner as Striker is losing his mind here despite it not being that big of a deal. A series of strikes to the head drops Taya again but she plants him with a tornado DDT for two of her own. Cue Sexy Star for a distraction though and it’s Cranial Contusion to send Crane to the next round at 6:25.

Rating: C. They were beating the heck out of each other here and it was nice to see Taya getting in some offense and hanging in there with Crane for a bit but there’s only so far that she’s going to be able to take something like this. At least Crane can get in a big fight in the quarterfinals and move on from here.

Post match Star knocks Taya out with brass knuckles.

Fenix and Aero Star talk about Drago leaving to join the Reptile Tribe. Aero Star, a time traveler, bets on Fenix, who doesn’t find that exactly fair.

Cueto Cup Second Round: Mil Muertes vs. Paul London

London starts dancing to start as we hear about his time in Ring of Honor with Striker mentioning specific matches. After over a minute of walking around, London gets thrown into the corner, meaning it’s time to head outside for a chase. The fans are entirely behind Muertes here as he unloads on London and throws him around with ease. Ten shoulders to the ribs have London in even more trouble but he snaps Muertes’ throat across the top.

That’s fine with Mil, who sends London into the barricade for a crash. A string of superkicks that would make the Young Bucks tell you to turn it down staggers Muertes and a top rope double stomp to the back puts him down again. The swinging chokeslam drops London though but the Rabbit Tribe comes in for a distraction. London gets two off a middle rope shooting star but it’s a spear and the Flatliner to end Paul at 9:29.

Rating: C+. Much like the first match, it was entertaining but did anyone http://onhealthy.net/product-category/erectile-dysfunction/ really buy another ending? London was certainly game here though and that helps a lot, even if there was no way around anything Muertes had for him. Muertes has to be a favorite in this thing but whoever beats him will get a heck of a rub.

Post match London gets the Lick of Death, which he seemed to enjoy. The fans even call him lucky.

Brenda hits on Texano, who buys her a drink. She calls him boring so he breaks a beer bottle in his hand. A woman’s touch could fix that though and Texano smiles.

Cueto Cup Second Round: Fenix vs. Marty Martinez

Melissa Santos still seems to have a crush on Fenix. Marty creepily rubs his stomach but gets dropped as things speed up. Fenix ducks a charge to send him outside for a kick to the face and a running flip dive. Mariposa offers a distraction though and Marty kicks him down, sending Melissa into a bit of fear.

Back in and we hit the chinlock with Marty ripping at the mask a bit. Fenix gets up and hits a good looking (and loud) running kick to the face in the corner, followed by a double stomp for two. A spring flipping moonsault misses though and Marty kicks him in the face for his own near fall.

Marty flips him forward into something like a Codebreaker (cool move) for two more but Fenix gets in a superkick. Mariposa grabs some kind of box that Marty brought with him but, for perhaps the first time ever, Melissa gets physical and blocks the shot, freaking the crowd out even more. The distraction lets Fenix grab a hurricanrana for the pin at 10:19.

Rating: C+. This was more about the storytelling and anything that involved me getting to see more of Melissa Santos, the better. She and Fenix could be interesting and having Marty and Mariposa around to antagonize them should help a lot as well. The match was good too, especial with Fenix flying all over the place like he does.

Post match Marty hits him with the box and pulls out a fork to carve up Fenix’s head as Melissa is forced to watch. Marty even licks the blood to be extra creepy.

Overall Rating: B. Now that’s more what I was looking for. This show featured bigger matches that felt like showdowns and I’m curious to see where some of these matches are going to go. We should have the final eight set up in two weeks and then the tournament finals three to four weeks later. They’re getting through this tournament fairly fast and that’s a good thing. Solid show here and better than the first round stuff.

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Date: June 28, 2017
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

The opening video is a very quick tournament recap, plus looks at Killshot, Dante Fox and Jeremiah Crane.

Cueto Cup First Round: Mil Muertes vs. Veneno

Cueto Cup First Round: Paul London vs. Vibora

London knocks him outside for some palm strikes to the chest but Vibora just stares him down. With that not working, London, I kid you not, holds Kobra Moon hostage with the carrot from his hat. Fans: “SAVE THE CARROT!” They get in for the first time with Vibora throwing London around but getting kicked in the face a few times. Vibora gets sent to the floor for a springboard trust fall but he does the Undertaker situp, only to have the rest of the Rabbit Tribe grab his feet for a countout at 3:54.

Rating: D+. There was a story here with the much younger monster being caught by the pesky and more experienced Rabbit Tribe. The carrot thing was entertaining enough (I have a soft spot for rabbits) and this keeps Vibora looking strong, which could be a good idea going forward.

Cueto Cup First Round: Taya vs. Joey Ryan

Cueto Cup First Round: Jeremiah Crane vs. Killshot

A run around the ring builds up enough momentum for a cannonball through Killshot through some chairs in a sick sounding crash. They change pace by going inside where Killshot kicks him in the face for two. Killshot flips up into a cutter for two but gets caught in a brainbuster for the same. They trade the very loud strikes until both guys are knocked silly on the mat.

Post match Catrina comes out to look at Crane, who blows her a kiss.

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Date: December 28, 2016
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Matt Striker, Vampiro

The opening video looks at Angelico returning, Cage vs. Texano, Catrina suggesting that Crane loves him and Prince Puma losing Grave Consequences.

Vampiro raises Puma from the grave and Puma, now dark, has a new master. I could totally go for this.

Jeremiah Crane vs. Mil Muertes

Crane goes right after him at the entrance and is knocked for a loop as a result. A running forearm to the back and a powerslam plant Crane again. As the referee looks at Catrina (understandable), cue Puma with a kendo stick shot, allowing Crane to hit a bicycle kick for the pin at 2:04.

Puma kneels to Vampiro and Striker is scared.

A stranger gives Sexy Star a present but says he used to be a Johnny Mundo fanboy. The guy leaves and the package contains a spider, just like a few weeks back.

Famous B. gives Texano an offer of fame and is promptly scared off.

PJ Black/Jack Evans vs. Angelico/Son of Havoc

Dario is looking in his glowing box when Star comes in. She wants and is granted a match with Mariposa next week.

Cage vs. Texano

Match number four in a best of five series with Cage up 2-1. Texano runs him over to start and hits a sliding clothesline but Cage turns it into a slugout. A turnbuckle pad comes off and Cage goes face first into the steel, setting up a sitout powerbomb to tie the series at 2-2 at 2:01.

Cage vs. Texano

This is winner take all and Cage is coming in bloody. Texano stomps him down in the corner but walks into a DDT. That just earns Cage a kick to the head in the corner, followed by a top rope hurricanrana and a slingshot splash for two. Cage kicks him in the face again and sends Texano outside for a big suicide dive.

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Date: December 21, 2016
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

The opening recap looks at the two big matches.

Battle of the Bulls Finals: Cage vs. The Mack vs. PJ Black vs. Jeremiah Crane

Lucha Underground Title: Johnny Mundo vs. Sexy Star

The Mack Stuns Johnny as the champ goes to leave.

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Date: December 14, 2016
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

The recap looks at Angelico wanting Johnny Mundo, the Kobra Moon Tribe, Matanza wanting Rey Mysterio and Sexy Star earning a title rematch inside a cage.

Battle of the Bulls First Round: Dante Fox vs. Killshot vs. Jeremiah Crane vs. Mariposa

Crane throws in a pile of chairs and sets them up, eventually meaning a Tower of Doom with Killshot getting the worse of it. Mariposa is the only one up so the fans cheer, even when she beats on everyone else with chairs. Killshot gets in a few shots of his own and everyone is down.

Killshot kicks Fox in the head and gives him the top rope double stomp.

Taya is filming the rest of the Worldwide Underground in what feels like an NWO inspired vignette.

Sexy Star sees a spider and freaks out. So now she can rise above spiders.

Kobra Moon vs. Drago

Fenix and Aerostar come in for the save, only to have Moon summon a masked monster to clean house. The fans call him Luchasaurus for a good name. Drago gets tombstoned and carried out.

Star goes after Mariposa, accusing her of planting the spider. A wall is broken and Mariposa seems intimidated.

Battle of the Bulls First Round: PJ Black vs. Jack Evans vs. Son of Havoc vs. Angelico

That leaves us with PJ Black vs. Jeremiah Crane vs. the Mack vs. Cage for the title shot.

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Date: November 30, 2016
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

Pentagon Dark vs. Black Lotus/Black Lotus Tribe

Gauntlet match with Pentagon vs. all four in turn. First up is Doku, who walks to the ring with her arms folded for an odd look. Doku fires off some chops in the corner and a hard kick to the ribs, only to get dropkicked across the ring. Pentagon starts getting more serious so the kicks and chops get even harder. Well at least louder, with one sending Doku out to the floor.

A gorilla press toss sends Doku face first onto the apron and a sick kick to the thigh has her in even more trouble. Back in and Doku scores with a good looking spear followed by a top rope elbow. She tries it again though but Pentagon is waiting on her and breaks the arm for the win at 6:12.

Pentagon is sent into the chairs and hit in the head with a metal sign. Back in and Pentagon starts wrenching on the knee but Yurei comes back with a hurricanrana. A tornado DDT looks to set up something out of the corner, only to have her dive into the package piledriver. One more broken arm later and Yurei is done at 7:22 (13:34 total, not counting breaks between falls).

Before the third fall, Matanza is working out when Dario comes in. Next week Matanza will get his rematch for the title but the monster wants Mysterio.

The third entrant is Hitokiri, which translates to Assassin. A dropkick sends Pentagon outside and a big moonsault press has Pentagon in even more trouble. Hitokiri starts banging away with a chair and Pentagon is in trouble. Vampiro is getting turned on by the violence and Pentagon is thrown through some chairs. Again. Pentagon is slammed onto the exposed concrete and you can see his body being broken down.

Prince Puma wakes up in his coffin and Vampiro is waiting on him. Vampiro: “Come with me.”

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Date: November 9, 2016
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

The opening recap looks at Famous b. vs. Mascarita Sagrada (with Son of Havoc and Dr. Wagner Jr. thrown in) and of course Grave Consequences.

Mascarita Sagrada vs. Famous B.

Sagrada cuts up a big cardboard cutout of B. and Havoc gives him a vest.

Dante is getting ready when Killshot comes in. Apparently Dante has gotten a job and they have to fight together tonight, though neither seems happy with it.

Kobra Moon is still trying to get Drago to join a tribe but gets turned down again. Vinny appears and is still creepy.

Mack/Mariposa/Marty Martinez/Jeremiah Crane/Ivelisse vs. Killshot/Argenis/Dante Fox/Cage/Texano

Rating: C. This was a bit too short to mean much but it was the kind of entertaining match you would expect from a show like this one. Fox and Crane are good additions to the roster and the rest all have roles (save for Argenis, who the announcers said was basically just there), making this exactly what it needed to be.

Dario Cueto gives Matanza a pep talk.

Prince Puma vs. Mil Muertes

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