Monday Night Raw – May 8, 1995: Bart Gunn Saved This Show
Monday Night Raw Date: May 8, 1995
Location: Civic Auditorium, Omaha, Nebraska
Attendance: 5,800
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
This is a bad time as it’s the go home show for In Your House but that means we’re coming up on King of the Ring 1995, which is one of the worst shows of all time. We have two matches announced for tonight: Bob Holly vs. Doink the Clown and Bart Gunn vs. Owen Hart. I think you can see the problems from here. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap looks at Sid and Razor from last week. This takes 45 seconds, not five minutes.
Opening sequence.
Lawler is WAY too happy that Bret Hart is having two matches at Summerslam.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Doink the Clown
Jeff’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line and Dink is in the big clown’s corner. Doink starts fast but Roadie grabs his foot, only to have Doink stomp on Roadie’s fingers. Roadie reaches for Jeff’s hand to break up a wristlock but Doink kicks the hand away. It’s not like the referee was going to do anything. Roadie’s cheating fails AGAIN as he can’t hold Doink up against the ropes, earning himself a Stunner. Just fire this goon already. Jeff finally takes over on his own as the announcers start making book references. Doink comes right back with a sunset flip for two and we take a break.
Back with Doink’s leg in trouble and Jeff slowly kicking away as the match slow down (not the worst thing). We hit the half crab but Roadie somehow screws up for a fourth time with the referee catching him holding Jeff’s hand. Doink grabs a DDT and a powerslam for two, followed by Dink taking a bite out of Jeff’s tights. It’s time for the Stump Puller (an odd leg submission) on Jeff but the referee is with Jarrett, allowing Roadie to get in a chop block for the save. Jeff slaps on the Figure Four for the submission.
Rating: C+. Odds are that was Steve Lombardi under the mask and it’s very clear that he was a better choice if you need a good match. Jarrett was more than fine in a role like this where you have him in a midcard match instead of having any kind of attention. There’s nothing wrong with just having a good wrestling match like this one, especially in the land of squashes that is 1995 Monday Night Raw.
The BodyDonnas are coming. This is Sunny’s national TV debut and she’s instantly a star with more charisma than any woman has ever had in the company to date and possibly ever.
Bam Bam Bigelow is sorry for all the things he’s done over the last few months and wants to get his hands on the Million Dollar Team.
Video on Sid vs. Diesel.
Vince brings out Sid and DiBiase for a chat. DiBiase was the one that told Shawn Michaels to hire Sid as his bodyguard because he knew Sid would turn his back on Shawn and draw Diesel into a WWF World Title match. There’s a great slap in Shawn’s face there as Ted is basically saying there was no way Shawn would win the title at Wrestlemania. Ted is ready to send Diesel to a rest home and Sid talks about an African lion. Promises of a powerbomb wrap this up.
Hakushi vs. Gary Scott
Hakushi starts fast with chops and kicks (because of course) followed by a gordbuster, all with Lawler drooling over the thoughts of this happening to Bret on Sunday. An abdominal stretch of all things sets up a springboard splash to put Scott away.
In Your House Control Center doesn’t tell us much. As for storyline stuff, Diesel says he’s ready for Sid and that’s about it. Todd runs down the card and that’s that. Other than that, there’s no replay. Unless that’s a pay per view company decree, I have no idea why the WWF would go with that move. Maybe they can’t make enough money due to the lowered price but it sounds like giving away money.
Owen Hart vs. Bart Gunn
A main event anywhere in the country, or maybe just on a Raw in Omaha. Bart quickly knocks him outside to start but Owen forearms him in the back because it’s just Bart Gunn. Owen is taken down again and it’s time to start in on the arm. Mr. Fuji offers a trip (it’s not like he can do anything else) and Owen takes it outside to send Bart into the post.
The enziguri gets two on Bart and we take a break. Back with Bart stopping a charge by raising a boot in the corner. That’s it for his offense (Or was it defense?) as Owen gets two off a clothesline. Cornette breaks up a superplex but Billy Gunn crotches Owen on the top, allowing Bart to grab a rollup for the fluke pin.
Rating: C. Bart Gunn of all people pinning Owen Hart aside, this was a fine way to set up the Tag Team Title match on Sunday as it’s not like they need much of a story since it’s just a rematch. The Gunns aren’t the most interesting team in the world but this gave them some momentum, which is really all they need here.
Todd and Stephanie (not that Stephanie) tour the house they’re giving away and it’s….a house.
Vince and Jerry, in front of a green screen of fans for some reason, wrap us up with Jerry promising that his mom will be at ringside.
Overall Rating: C. Now this was entertaining with two totally watchable matches and a build towards a few of Sunday’s matches. Above all else they let us have some wrestling instead of four squashes in forty five minutes. It’s certainly nothing great and no one would have thought much of it at the time but this was way better than most of the shows I’ve been sitting through in recent weeks.
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Monday Night Raw – May 1, 1995: It Just Keeps Going
Monday Night Raw Date: May 1, 1995
Location: Civic Auditorium, Omaha, Nebraska
Attendance: 5,800
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
Sweet goodness I might as well just do the rest of 1995 at this rate. We’re just past Wrestlemania XI (close enough) and we’re about two weeks away from the first In Your House, meaning it’s time for Diesel vs. Sid. Yeah like I’ve said many times, this really isn’t a good period for the company. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Tatanka costing Bam Bam Bigelow the WWF World Title last week, causing Ted DiBiase to fire him. Bigelow fought back and said he quit, earning himself a big beatdown including a horrible powerbomb from Sid. Diesel ran out for the save and a Jackknife on Tatanka. Bigelow and Diesel shook hands to end the show.
Opening sequence.
We look at Sid powerbombing various people to send him into the main event.
Lawler has a contract for Bret Hart.
Allied Powers vs. George Anderson/Tom Hagan
That would be British Bulldog/Lex Luger. Anderson starts with Lex and gets hiptossed for trying to run the ropes. Bulldog comes in and eats a forearm to the face so it’s off to Hagan. As Bulldog beats on Hagan, I have to describe Tom’s attire, which looks like a birthday party store exploded. Anderson misses a charge and gets powerslammed for the squash pin.
We look at Jeff Jarrett cheating to retain the Intercontinental Title over Bob Holly on the Action Zone, resulting in the match being restarted. Holly got the pin but Jeff’s foot was on the ropes. Bob was named the new champion but the title was held up. Holly’s win isn’t considered an official title reign.
Bob Holly vs. Butler Stevens
Stevens takes him into the corner to start but gets armdragged and hiptossed for his efforts. A few knees to Bob’s ribs don’t do much and Holly’s high cross body is good for the pin.
We go to the In Your House Control Center with Todd Pettengill plugging the idea that the show is only $15. That really should be the selling point for this show: it’s 2/3 the length of a regular pay per view but only half the price. The big story here: Razor Ramon will be facing Jeff Jarrett/the Roadie in a handicap match due to a very real neck injury to the 1-2-3 Kid. Oh and they’re giving away a house in Orlando.
Mantaur vs. Sonny Rogers
Mantaur, the half man/half bull, has Jim Cornette with him. It’s the squash you would expect with Mantaur throwing him around, hammering away in the corner, shrugging off a comeback attempt and winning with a World’s Strongest Slam. They were just so lost at this point and Mantaur is a great example.
A cop from NYDP Blue accuses Man Mountain Rock of pretending to be a wrestler. Hey now he wasn’t horrible.
Sycho Sid vs. Razor Ramon
And no match as Sid jumps him through the pyro and destroys Razor in fantastic fashion. I remember watching this as a kid and thinking Sid was amazing for jumping through the pyro. Like, that’s crazy. Diesel makes the save.
Adam Bomb vs. Dave Sigfried
Bomb throws him around as you would expect and grabs a snap suplex. A clothesline breaks up Dave’s hiptoss attempt and Bomb lets this go a bit longer. Some really basic offense (clothesline, hiptoss, right hands) keep Sigfried in trouble and a top rope clothesline ends the goof.
Rating: D. I always liked Bomb so we’ll call this a little better than the normal dull jobber squash. He was a horrible talker or otherwise he might have been a good choice for a midcard power guy. But then he got squashed by Mabel at In Your House because KING MABEL could not be stopped.
Bomb throws his toy footballs into the crowd. That’s always going to work.
Razor gets medical treatment.
Hunter Hearst Helmsley is snooty and rich.
Men on a Mission vs. Bill Duke/Kevin Kruger
Mabel throws Kruger around (way too common tonight) and chokes him in the air. The jobbers’ double dropkick has no effect so it’s off to Mo for a change. A knee to the ribs drops Duke but Mo misses an elbow drop. It’s back to Duke as this squash just keeps going. We actually hit a chinlock for a bit before Mabel finally ends it with a belly to belly.
Rating: F. WAY too long here as it took the better part of five minutes to get rid of these goofs. Men on a Mission just wasn’t interesting as a heel team (or anything more than a comedy face team for that matter) but it was even worse when they turned Mabel into a monster heel for reasons of genuine stupidity.
Here’s Bret Hart to answer Lawler’s contract offer. Vince does Bret’s pose for a funny visual. Apparently Lawler thinks Bret signed to face Hakushi to get out of a match against Jerry at In Your House. Bret will fight Hakushi at In Your House but he’ll fight Lawler on the same night as a bonus. Pyro goes off to end the show.
Overall Rating: F. This was the kind of horrible show that you grew to expect around this time, which should tell you why no one talks about this era. I was bored out of my mind with most of these matches and it’s all building towards Mabel vs. Adam Bomb? That’s my big reward after all this? Nitro can’t come around to light a fire under Vince soon enough.
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Monday Night Raw Date: October 14, 1996
Location: Hersheypark Arena, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 3,923
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Jim Ross
It’s the go home show for Buried Alive but more importantly than that we have a major showdown with Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels in a non-title match. I really don’t think a show needs much more than that but we’re also going to get the blowoff between Jerry Lawler and Jake Roberts in the Roberts is a drunk angle. Let’s get to it.
The opening video looks at Austin vs. Michaels.
Opening sequence.
Phineas Godwinn vs. Vader
There are A TON of empty seats opposite the camera, as in to the degree that WCW would laugh at them over it. Vader pounds him into the corner and onto the floor to start as JR goes on another rant against Vince which wouldn’t go anywhere since Vince would be back on commentary the next week. Cue Sid to distract Vader, allowing Phineas to run him over with a clothesline. Vader is knocked outside for a bit before Phineas hits an impressive slam. The Slop Drop doesn’t work as Vader grabs the rope and the Vader Bomb ends this a few seconds later.
Rating: D. Another not great match here but at least they kept it short so all the fans left in the arena won’t fall asleep in their chairs. Vader vs. Sid isn’t an interesting match for the pay per view with Sid popping up after that splash last week but maybe they can have the match that Starrcade couldn’t pull off back in 1993.
Here’s Mr. Perfect for a chat. He’s ready for a challenge from Hunter Hearst Helmsley and he’ll be right here next week to face him one on one. Not much to say here but keep an eye on this one.
Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts
Lawler comes out for his pre-match comedy routine but JR WILL NOT SHUT UP about how much he hates doing commentary with Vince. Jake finally stumbles out with a paper bag behind his back and JR messes it up again by saying “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he’s drunk!”. Lawler keeps making jokes and here’s Gorilla Monsoon to say Roberts can’t wrestle. With Lawler’s back turned, Jake stands up straight and tells Gorilla that he’s fine. They actually take a break and come back with Jake hitting the DDT for the pin in thirty seconds. Good grief they managed to screw up the fake drunk idea twice in a single match!
Post match Jake pours whiskey onto Jerry’s face and wraps the snake around him.
More from Jesse Jammes, who is re-releasing With My Baby Tonight later this year. Jim Johnston (third Double J in this story) is impressed with his talents you see.
Freddie Joe Floyd vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley
I would bring up JR complaining about Vince again but the point is buried into the ground by now. Helmsley actually handcuffs his valet to the ring so Mr. Perfect can’t come out and woo her away again. That’s actually kind of awesome. Floyd takes him to the mat to start and grabs a headlock before Helmsley pounds him down with forearms in the corner.
Cue Mr. Perfect as Helmsley gets in a suplex and he just happens to have a key. Freddie hammers away as Perfect leaves with the lady. The Pedigree finally plants Floyd but HHH goes after perfect and gets punched in the face for the countout. So the referee was paying enough attention to count but not enough to see him get knocked down?
Rating: D. All storyline here as Perfect vs. HHH is turning into a great midcard story and a really strong example of what a veteran rub can do for someone like HHH. It might not be the best match but above all else it’s making HHH look important which is more anything else he’s done since his debut.
Austin is ready to beat Shawn tonight as a message to Bret Hart.
Here’s Sunny to debut a massive poster of herself. JR: “We’re wasting time here.”
Mankind says he’ll win on Sunday.
Faarooq vs. The Pug
Sunny is on commentary and hits on Kevin Kelly until he says he “does ok” financially. Now JR rips on Vince for Faarooq’s stupid looking headgear. Ok I’ll give him that one. A spinebuster and the Dominator end Pug in a hurry.
We see Faarooq and Ahmed Johnson having an argument over the phone earlier this week on Livewire.
Undertaker says it’s the calm before the storm.
Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels
Non-title. Austin takes him into the corner to start and we cut to Cornette and Vader watching in the back. Cornette promises to crush Sid on Sunday and Vader barks a lot because he’s a bit out there. They trade hammerlocks early on with Shawn holding him down with a headlock.
Now we go to Sid who is WAY too excited to go to Buried Alive to face Vader for the title shot. Shawn grabs a chinlock for a bit before a pinfall reversal sequence sends Austin to the floor for a breather. Back in and the Stun Gun slows Shawn down but it’s too early for the Stunner. We take a break and come back with Vader coming in for the DQ less than thirty seconds later.
Rating: D+. This wasn’t designed to be anything more than an overhyped match with the rug being pulled out from underneath the fans. In other words it was a WCW style match and those have very rarely felt like anything important. These two would have a few more important matches but this wasn’t a great starting point for them.
Savio Vega comes in and is quickly dispatched but here’s Sid to clear the ring. Fake Diesel and Fake Razor come out to watch as Shawn and Sid yell at each other. Austin and Vader get back in and are dispatched again to end the show.
Overall Rating: D-. These shows are just horrible and it definitely starting to take its toll with this show drawing the lowest rating (1.78) in the history of the show. People were just not liking what they were selling at this point and it was high time to change things up, which is exactly what would happen next week. The less said about this show the better though.
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Monday Night Raw – November 6, 1995: Bret vs. Dental Hygiene
Monday Night Raw Date: November 6, 1995
Location: Keystone Arena, Brandon, Manitoba, Canada
Attendance: 2,000 Commentators: Vince McMahon, Dok Hendrix
We’ve jumped ahead again and now it’s time to get ready for the mostly forgettable Survivor Series 1995. The company is still running on Diesel Power as he’s held the title for nearly a year at this point but has a re-energized Bret Hart breathing down his neck and gunning for the belt. Let’s get to it.
We open with a clip of Ahmed Johnson slamming the nearly 600lb Yokozuna last week to make him a much bigger deal than he already was.
Opening sequence, featuring most of the roster in a fight on the roof of a very tall building. It’s certainly different.
Marty Jannetty vs. British Bulldog
Bulldog has Jim Cornette with him and this is due to Bulldog mocking Marty last week. Jannetty starts fast and smacks Bulldog in the face to set up a wristlock. It’s off to an armbar so we go to a chat with Cornette’s lawyer, who says Bulldog will get a shot at the winner of Bret vs. Diesel at Survivor Series. Bulldog comes back with the delayed vertical suplex and it’s time for the chinlock. Back up and Bulldog turns him inside out with a clothesline to send us to a break.
We come back with Bulldog slapping on another chinlock before sending him outside. Bulldog grabs a fourth chinlock in less than ten minutes to kill even more time. Thankfully it doesn’t last long as Marty misses a charge….to set up the fifth chinlock. Marty comes back again with a middle rope flipping cutter of all things (cool move too) and a DDT for two. Not that it matters as Bulldog hits the powerslam for the pin.
Rating: D-. Five chinlocks in a match that only ran about ten minutes. I don’t think I even need to go on at this point. Marty was actually the better of the two here as he seemed like he was trying but what are you supposed to do when you have someone who is clearly just there because he has to be?
A fake Bill Clinton will be at Survivor Series.
Bulldog is ready for his title shot.
Barry Horowitz and Hakushi talk strategy.
We look at Bam Bam Bigelow challenging the newcomer Goldust, which would happen at the pay per view.
Henry Godwinn vs. Terry Richards
Henry is finally face though no one cares yet. Richards on the other hand is better known as Rhyno. Some forearms to the back don’t have much effect as Henry throws him to the ground and rips at his face. The Slop Drop is good for the easy pin. Just a squash.
Cue HHH to jump Henry from behind and give him a Pedigree on the floor. With some white gloves on, HHH even pours the bucket of slop over Henry’s head.
It’s off to the Survivor Series control center with Undertaker promising to bury King Mabel and company and Diesel loving the rules of his match with Bret (No DQ/No Countout).
Kama vs. Tony Roy
Kama is part of the Million Dollar Team. Since this is just another squash, we get a phone call from Shawn Michaels to talk about his upcoming Wild Card Survivor Series match where the teams were “random”. Kama throws the jobber around like he’s nothing at all before finishing with a big right hand.
Rating: D. Kama was supposed to be this MMA style fighter but that’s not exactly what you can expect from the future Godfather. His punching and kicking were fine at the time but when you look back at it with a modern perspective of MMA etc., the whole thing looks more like a joke than anything else.
Jerry Lawler/Isaac Yankem vs. Hakushi/Bret Hart
The good guys have Barry Horowitz in their corner for reasons that aren’t important enough to explain. Bret and Yankem get things going with the future Kane pounding away in the corner and grabbing an early bearhug. It’s quickly off to Hakushi for the handspring elbow in the corner as I think I’d like to see a full Hakushi vs. Yankem match. Back to Bret to work on the arm as we’re waiting on Lawler to come in and take his beating. A sunset flip gets two on Isaac but he clotheslines Hakushi in the back of the head to take over.
Hakushi goes back first into the post and it’s finally off to the mulleted Lawler for two piledrivers. There’s no cover though as it’s off to Isaac for a whip into the corner as we take a break. Back with Isaac grabbing a Boston crab with Bret making the save. Jerry dives into a right hand to the throat and the hot tag brings in Bret. House is quickly cleaned and Bret gets the Sharpshooter on Yankem. Barry steals a chair away from Lawler but gets caught for the DQ despite not touching anyone.
Rating: C. Stupid ending aside, this was actually a nice tag match. Hakushi was one heck of a worker who just needed someone to do the talking for him. The idea of him hammering away on a big man like Isaac and trying to chop down a giant is rather intriguing but he wouldn’t be around much longer.
A preview for next week’s Raw, a commercial and another preview of next week’s Raw end the show.
Overall Rating: D. This was your standard horrible Monday Night Raw of its era as you could see the company really needing to get away from Diesel and get on to something fresh. The wrestling here was just above a disaster with that Bulldog vs. Jannetty match being a huge waste of time. They’re very lucky Nitro was starting to catch some steam at this point as they needed something to challenge them.
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Summerslam Count-Up – 1996: For Whom The Bearer Tolls
Summerslam 1996 Date: August 18, 1996
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Mr. Perfect
Things have changed quite a bit since last year. For one thing, the NWO currently has its foot on the WWF’s neck but no one knew how bad it was going to get. Shawn was pretty much tanking as champion but he’s still defending tonight against Vader. The major match though is Undertaker vs. Mankind in a Boiler Room Brawl which has the potential to be awesome. Let’s get to it.
The pre-show match is kind of famous so I’ll throw it in as a bonus.
Steve Austin vs. Yokozuna
Austin is fresh off winning the King of the Ring and cutting the promo that made him famous. Yoko is so fat it’s terrifying at this point. Austin still has very slow music here which sounds like it belongs in a romantic drama. He goes right after the big man to start but a single right hand puts Steve down. A double middle finger earns Austin a Samoan drop and a legdrop. Yoko loads up the Banzai Drop and the freaking ring breaks with Yoko falling down to the mat, giving Austin an easy pin.
The opening video is about monsters like Vader and Mankind wearing masks but heroes standing up to them no matter what.
Owen Hart vs. Savio Vega
Owen has a broken arm/wrist coming in. Feeling out process to start with the referee warning Owen about using the cast. Savio does the smart thing by ramming the bad arm into the buckle to take over. We hit an armbar as we cut to Vader’s locker room to see Cornette firing him up. A monkey flip and a dropkick put Owen down and it’s back to the armbar. Owen kicks out of a rollup and sends Savio shoulder first into the post as momentum changes all of a sudden.
Off to a wristlock on Vega as the match is still waiting to get off the ground. Owen puts on a long armbar followed by a DDT on the arm for two. Vega bites his way out of the hold as the crowd is dead quiet for this. Owen charges into a boot and here’s Clarence Mason, a lawyer, to watch the match. An enziguri puts Vega down for two and a few rollups get the same for Savio.
Hart takes him down with a spinwheel kick but Savio comes back with right hands and clotheslines. Owen’s missile dropkick gets two as the crowd is into this all of a sudden. Hart is crotched on another top rope attempt but Savio lands on the cast in his belly to back superplex. Owen slips off the cast and lays out Savio (with the referee looking right at him), setting up the Sharpshooter for the win.
Rating: C. This took awhile to get going and could have shaved off five minutes or so. Savio was nothing special at all and Owen was in a transitional phase of his career as he was trying to become a singles guy but wasn’t ready to do it yet. The match wasn’t bad and picked way up but the ending was lame.
Post match Justin Hawk Bradshaw comes out to lay out Vega once again.
Todd Petingill is in the boiler room and finds Mankind licking a pipe and saying there’s no place like home.
Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. New Rockers vs. Bodydonnas vs. Godwinns
The heel Gunns are defending and this is under elimination rules. The New Rockers are Marty Jannetty and Leif Cassidy (Al Snow) and the Bodydonnas are Skip (Chris Candido) and Zip (Tom Pritchard). Skip is in a neck brace here due to a potentially broken neck but he’s wrestling anyway. The Gunns have Sunny who looks GREAT as a cowgirl. Billy Gunn starts with Henry Godwinn with Hank throwing Billy around with ease.
A wheelbarrow slam sends Billy out to the floor and it’s off to Phineas vs. Zip. After a comedic feeling out process it’s off to both Gunns at the same time. Zip and Phineas strut across the ring for no apparent reason as the Gunns freak out about having to fight each other. The referee says either make contact or be disqualified. After no contact, Bart tags in Zip so the crowd can have something else to be bored by. Jannetty trips Zip and Billy gets an easy pin so the Bodydonnas don’t have to be out there long.
Henry comes back in to crank on Billy’s arm but Billy quickly tags out to Jannetty. Marty slowly pounds on Henry and plays to the comatose crowd. Leif gets the tag but quickly brings in Billy to work over Henry. The Rockers have a miscue with the Gunns and Henry gets two off a side slam on Billy. Marty’s save results in an elbow drop on Billy as everything breaks down. Henry kicks Marty into Leif and hits the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) on Cassidy for the elimination.
We’re down to the Godwinns vs. the champions and it’s Bart in for the first time. Henry explodes out of the corner with a clothesline to put both guys down. Bart breaks up a tag attempt as this match is dragging terribly. Billy comes in and the place is so silent you can hear the insults between the wrestlers.
Back to Bart to pound away on Henry for a few moments before bringing Billy back in. Henry catches a charging Billy in a World’s strongest Slam and there’s the lukewarm tag to Phineas. He cleans house and everything breaks down with Phineas hitting the Slop Drop on Billy, only to have Bart blast Phineas from the top for the pin to retain.
Rating: D-. This was so boring I could barely keep my eyes open. The tag title scene was so barren at this point that there were practically zero interesting acts at all. That would be the case for over a year when the New Age Outlaws FINALLY brought the division back to life for a few years. Terribly boring match.
Post match Sunny insults the women in the audience and unveils a huge poster of herself to make the arena prettier.
Video on the Summerslam festivities in the city this weekend.
Sycho Sid vs. British Bulldog
Sid is just back after being out for about six months with an injury. He’s part of Shawn’s war with Camp Cornette, making this a lower level battle in the feud. The fans are WAY into Sid here which makes his title reigns a lot more understandable. Neither guy goes anywhere on some collisions until Sid slams him down to the floor. A LOUD Let’s Go Sid chant starts up, giving us more interest than the entire tag title match had combined.
Bulldog tries to power out of a headlock as the announcers talk about Mason being out here instead of Cornette again. A powerslam gets two for Sid but Bulldog comes back with the delayed vertical suplex. That’s some impressive power, especially on a guy that tall. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Bulldog clotheslines Sid to the floor. Bulldog clotheslines him down again and flips forward to entertain us while Sid is down. Back to the chinlock before Bulldog hits the powerslam clean, but here’s Cornette to argue with Mason. Another powersam is countered into the chokeslam and an AWESOME powerbomb is good for the pin.
Rating: D+. The match was better than you would think with both guys’ power stuff looking good. That powerbomb was great as Bulldog just stopped once he hit the mat and the selling was even better. Sid is just scary over at this point, which made his heel turn all the better. To be fair though, the fans just wouldn’t boo the guy even when he was a heel. Take that for what you will.
The managers keep arguing post match.
Video on Shawn.
Goldust vs. Marc Mero
Marlena and Sable are the seconds here and Goldust has a thing for the latter. Goldust takes him into the corner and rubs his own chest before slapping Mero in the face. Some armdrags take Goldie down and he hides in the corner. They run the ropes a bit with Mero getting two off a cross body and hooking an armbar. The crowd is dead again so the announcers talk about Ahmed Johnson’s kidney injury.
Back up and Goldust backdrops Mero out to the floor before dropping him throat first across the barricade. Goldust hooks a chinlock and here’s Mankind who has been calling Sable mommy lately. Some referees chase him off a few seconds later, making this your pointless cameo of the show. A knee to the ribs puts Mero down for two but he comes off the middle rope with a back elbow to the jaw.
A clothesline and a backdrop put Goldust down again and a million dollar kneelift does the same. Goldust counters punches in the corner and they both tumble to the floor but Mero slides back in and hits a running flip dive. A slingshot legdrop gets two followed by the debut of the Shooting Star Press, called the Wild Thing. Since this is 1996 WWF, it only gets two. A few seconds later Goldust hits the Curtain Call (reverse forward suplex) for the pin.
Rating: D. Another dull match here other than the Shooting Star. Goldust was all thought and character but little in the area of substance in the ring. The crowd was dead again here other than for the Wild Thing which was by far the most exciting thing in the match. There wasn’t much to see here but as was the case back then, a lot of matches on PPV were filler.
Goldust stalks Sable post match until Mero makes the save.
We recap Jake Roberts vs. Jerry Lawler. Jake claimed to have sobered up and was speaking at churches about how Jesus helped him overcome his demons. Lawler claimed that Roberts was a fraud (which was the case in real life as he was still hooked on crack) and tonight is the showdown.
Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts
Before the match we have the debut of a new Olympian who will be getting in the ring soon: Mark Henry. Lawler brings his own bag with him along with something in his pocket. He’s also wearing a Baltimore Ravens jersey (the beloved Cleveland Browns had recently moved to Baltimore and become the Ravens) because Lawler knows how to rile up a crowd like few others ever could. Henry thinks it’s hilarious despite being a face.
Lawler pulls out two bottles of Jim Beam to be Roberts’ partners tonight and says Roberts’ wife only looks good after a six pack. Henry is so stupid that if he won a gold medal he’d have it bronzed. Once Roberts uses his bar stool as a walker to get out here, Lawler is going to knock him sideways so everyone can recognize him. It’s very impressive how easily Lawler can have a crowd eating out of the palm of his hand like this.
Roberts finally comes out so Lawler pulls a huge bottle of booze from the bag. Jake pulls the snake out of his own bag to scare Lawler to the floor and the bell finally rings. Lawler looks for a microphone but Jake sends him face first into the steps and hammers away back inside. Back to the floor with Lawler being sent into various hard objects until he steals a drink from a fan to blind Jake. Henry: “So what is the fan going to drink?” Lawler gets one of the bottles from ringside but has to block a DDT attempt. Another DDT is countered and Jerry hits him in the throat with the bottle for the pin.
Rating: D. This was much more of an angle than a match with Lawler giving a great lesson in how to fire up a crowd. Roberts wouldn’t be around much longer before heading to ECW and the indies. This would lead to Henry’s first mini feud against Lawler which started got his career going in slow motion.
Post match Lawler says Roberts is holding his throat because he wants a drink. Lawler opens the big bottle to pour it down Jake’s throat but Mark Henry makes a delayed save.
Bob Backlund campaigns for President.
Paul Bearer comes to the ring. The next match will be won by retrieving the Urn from his hands.
Undertaker vs. Mankind
This is the Boiler Room Brawl, meaning the fight starts in the boiler room and you win by fighting to the ring and getting the Urn from Bearer. Taker goes into the room where Mankind is hiding somewhere. This is bordering on creepy as Taker is looking through the shadows to find Mankind but only finds machines. Mankind sneaks up on him with a pipe to the back as the fight begins. Keep in mind that the people in the arena are seeing this on TV screens as there’s no Titantron yet.
Undertaker comes back with a trashcan lid to the head and they brawl around the room with Mankind in control. The announcers have stopped talking as Mankind stuns Taker across a wooden stand. A stiff right hand puts Taker down and Mankind chokes away. The camera cuts out for a few moments so something can be edited and we come back with a trashcan shot putting Taker down.
Taker finds a pipe to knock the can into Mankind’s face but Mankind turns a valve to shoot steam into Taker’s face. A clothesline sends the can into Mankind’s face and the slow brawling continues. Taker hits him in the face with a wooden pallet but Mankind hits Taker low with a pipe of some kind. Mankind sends him into a wall and hits the running knee to drive Taker’s head into the wall again. An elbow off a ladder keeps Taker down and Mankind drags him along the floor.
The camera goes out again and the audience boos. Back with Undertaker laid out on the floor and Mankind setting up a ladder next to him. Mankind climbs up and in the best remembered spot of the match, Undertaker sits up and pulls him down onto a pile of pipes. Back up and Mankind goes for the door but Undertaker grabs him by the ankle. A fire extinguisher blast to the face puts Mankind down and it’s Undertaker out the door first. Mankind rams him into the door and gets out, only to fall in the aisle.
With Taker still inside Mankind barricade the door but Taker kicks it in anyway. They fight up the aisle with jobbers watching from the doors. Taker shoves him across the coffee area, allowing Mankind to get ahead a bit. He throws hot coffee onto Undertaker and crawls into the arena to give the fans something to see in person. Taker catches up with him and pounds away but Mankind keeps him out of the ring.
A Texas piledriver onto the concrete knocks Undertaker out cold but he sits up just in time to pull Mankind off the apron, slamming the back of his head into the concrete. Undertaker gets inside and gets on one knee in front of Paul but Bearer won’t give him the Urn. Mankind gets in and knocks Taker out with the Claw before Bearer does the unthinkable by turning on Undertaker and giving Mankind the Urn.
Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade as it was VERY long (nearly half an hour) and was unlike any other match up to this point. This match would have killed in the Attitude Era but here it’s just quite good. Bearer turning was shocking as he had managed Undertaker for nearly six years and I don’t think anyone believed he would ever turn on Undertaker.
Druids come out to carry Undertaker to the back. He’d be back the next night like nothing happened.
Camp Cornette is ready for Shawn Michaels. Cornette: “When Vader grabs you by the neck Shawn Michaels, you’re going to sound like Peter Frampton’s electric kazoo.” WHERE DOES HE COME UP WITH THIS STUFF???
WWF World Title: Vader vs. Shawn Michaels
Vader is challenging after pinning Shawn in a six man tag at In Your House #9. He pounds Shawn in the face to start before taking his head off with a clothesline. Shawn catches a big boot and leg sweeps Vader down before hitting a low dropkick to stun Vader. Michaels fires off rights and lefts from his knees and Vader bails to the floor. A HUGE dive takes him down again as the fans are finally waking up a bit.
Back in and a standing hurricanrana takes Vader down and a victory roll sends him back out to the floor. Shawn’s plancha into a hurricanrana is caught in a powerbomb and momentum changes in a hurry. Vader puts him on his shoulder and carries Shawn up the steps with one arm in a very impressive power display. A big suplex puts Shawn down again and Mr. Perfect gloats a lot. Shawn is sent into a Flair Flip in the corner and another whip sends him out to the floor.
Vader pounds away back inside but Shawn comes back with rights and lefts of his own. He can’t drop Vader though and a hard clothesline takes Shawn down again. Shawn tries to skin the cat but Vader pulls him back in and hits a kind of reverse jackknife for two. Off to a modified bearhug on the champion for a few moments until Shawn fights back with a running knee to the chest. Vader blocks a sunset flip but his jumping seated senton hits knees.
A hard clothesline puts Vader down and we get a semi-famous spot as Shawn goes up but aborts the elbow in mid flight, instead hitting a flying stomp. He throws a fit and yells at Vader before a cross body puts both guys on the floor. Vader drops Shawn throat first across the barricade…..for a countout win? Seriously? Female fan: “NO! NO! NO!” Cornette agrees because he wants to win the title by pin instead of countout.
Shawn agrees to get back in but Vader punches him down on the floor. Cornette pops Shawn in the back with the tennis racket and a belly to belly gets two for Vader. Michaels punches his way out of the powerbomb and hits the forearm/nip-up combo. He tunes up the band but Cornette throws in the racket, only to have Shawn intercept it and blast Vader for the DQ.
The third part of the match begins (Cornette, WE DON’T WANT IT THAT WAY, ring the bell again) with Shawn avoiding another seated senton and now the top rope elbow connects. Sweet Chin Music only gets two and the referee is knocked to the floor. Vader hits the powerbomb and a second referee comes in to count two. Cornette is stunned as Vader goes up, only to miss the moonsault. Shawn goes up top and hits a moonsault press to retain the title.
Rating: B+. I’ve only seen this match once or twice and it really holds up. Shawn was in his element here against a monster and he capitalized on Vader’s greed for the title to finally beat him. The problem was the people didn’t care about Shawn until he got in the ring which made him a hard sell for the fans. Still though, excellent match here.
Overall Rating: C. Well the last two matches are both good to great, but it takes awhile to get there. Thankfully for the show those matches take up over an hour of the card and help things out a lot. Unfortunately the NWO was running roughshod on the wrestling world at this point so the good matches here didn’t mean much at all. This wasn’t one of the stronger entries in the series though.
Ratings Comparison
Owen Hart vs. Savio Vega
Original: B+
Redo: C
Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas vs. New Rockers vs. Godwinns
Original: B-
Redo: D-
British Bulldog vs. Sycho Sid
Original: D
Redo: D+
Marc Mero vs. Goldust
Original: C+
Redo: D
Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts
Original: C-
Redo: D
Mankind vs. Undertaker
Original: A-
Redo: B
Vader vs. Shawn Michaels
Original: A-
Redo: B+
Overall Rating
Original: A
Redo: C
Did I owe this show money a few years ago? My jaw is hanging open as I read these ratings again.
Monday Night Raw – March 13, 1995: Bret Hart Is Not A Racist
Monday Night Raw Date: March 13, 1995
Location: Memorial Civic Auditorium, Stockton, California
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Cornette
We’re crawling towards Wrestlemania and that means this is going to be NFL and Shawn Michaels heavy. On top of that we have a big match for tonight with Jerry Lawler facing Bret Hart all over again because these two have only had their great feud going for the better part of two years now. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Lawler vs. Hart, which started at King of the Ring 1993, then we jumped ahead about twenty months and Lawler accused Hart of being a racist with promises of proof coming tonight.
Opening sequence.
Headshrinkers vs. Blu Brothers
This isn’t even the match they had advertised in the opening video as the Headshrinkers are replacing 1-2-3 Kid/Bob Holly, the latter of whom wrestled on a dark match and the former of whom appeared later in the night. Odd indeed but I can’t imagine it was anything serious. Fatu and Jacob shove each other a bit to start and the twin makes the mistake of sending a Samoan into the buckle. It’s off to Sionne (Barbarian) to help on a double shoulder but it’s time to talk about clotheslines not being legal in the NFL.
Sionne gets knocked to the floor for a beating and the Blu’s tag, leaving Vince completely confused as to which is which. Back from a break with Sionne fighting out of a chinlock. A shoulder sends Eli outside and the twins switch. Not that it matters as they double team Sionne down to keep control. Sionne gets in a powerslam and the hot tag bring in Fatu to clean house. Everything breaks down and it’s a double countout.
Rating: D. I’m a Headshrinkers fan but this was too long and boring. Holly and the Kid would have been a lot better here as it would have freshened up the styles a bit. You can only have power brawlers vs. power brawlers for so long and by the time you need a chinlock and a commercial, the match has probably gone on too long.
Lawrence Taylor says he’ll fight like crazed dogs.
We see some of the NFL plays that will be in Taylor’s corner. One of those players, Steve McMichael, is going to be here next week to see this Kama guy.
Bam Bam Bigelow and the Million Dollar Team are ready for Wrestlemania.
Former NFL player and wrestling legend Ernie Ladd offers his thoughts on the match, which he thinks will go to Bigelow due to Taylor going into this with too much emotion.
Barry Horowitz says he’s confident and has been talking to Razor Ramon about his match tonight.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Barry Horowitz
Non-title. Jarrett jumps him from behind because you need an advantage over Barry Horowitz. We get an awkward sequence in the corner until Barry grabs an armdrag into an armbar. A legdrop on the arm keeps Jeff in trouble as this is already more competitive than I was expecting. We get some bad news: the President of the San Francisco 49ers can’t call in to the show. Roadie’s save attempt fails and Barry gets in a high knee but hurts himself in the process. A quick Figure Four ends Horowitz.
Rating: C-. Much better than I was expecting here and it helped that Barry was actually building up to a moderate push and a win at Summerslam. Jarrett wasn’t interesting but that never stopped the company (or any company for that matter) from pushing him all over the place.
We look at Jerry Lawler landing on one foot to save himself from elimination in a battle royal, only to have Bret come out and eliminate him for real.
Bret promises to get rid of Lawler tonight. Not quite buddy, though this was as fired up as I’ve seen Bret in a long time.
It’s time for the Wrestlemania Report with the usual recaps and hyping up. The big stories are Salt N Pepa singing Taylor to the ring and the announcement of Owen Hart/??? vs. the Smoking Gunns for the Tag Team Titles. We also see Shawn hitting on Pamela Anderson, who clearly HATES this and doesn’t really try to hide it. Finally we see Men on a Mission turning heel in a turn that didn’t matter for months. This goes on for the better part of ten minutes.
Jerry Lawler vs. Bret Hart
Lawler brings out Japanese wrestler Bull Nakano to prove that Japan likes him better. Bret immediately punches him out to the floor before tying him in the Tree of Woe. Cue Bob Backlund as Bret sends Lawler into the buckle over and over. Now Hakushi and his manager Shinja come out to watch as Bret is sent into the steps. We take a break and come back with Lawler getting annoyed at the BURGER KING chants. A suplex drops Bret for no cover but the top rope fist goes awry, allowing Hart to take over. They head outside again with Nakano getting involved, causing Bret to get counted out because this referee is stupid.
Rating: C. Bret vs. Lawler is one of those matches that is going to work no matter what you have them doing because it’s such an easy story with the skilled technician vs. the dirty cheater who you want to see get beaten up. The Japanese stuff certainly was a story and I know they needed something to keep this going but it was still a bit weird.
Bret beats Lawler up post match.
Jeff Jarrett has had a contract drawn up to give Barry Horowitz a rematch for the Intercontinental Title next week but Backlund steals the contract and signs up instead because that’s how contracts work.
Overall Rating: D+. If you don’t like Wrestlemania, you’re going to HATE this show and almost everything about it. The Taylor vs. Bigelow stuff was clearly a spectacle but that doesn’t mean the build is anything remotely interesting. The Bret vs. Lawler stuff really felt like a way to pad out the show and it did help somewhat but this was still a rough show to sit through.
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Summerslam Count-Up – 1993: And That’s It For Luger
Summerslam 1993 Date: August 30, 1993
Location: Palace of Auburn Hills, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 23,954
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan
A lot has changed in the last year. Bret won the WWF Title about three months after the last Summerslam but lost it at Wrestlemania to the monster Yokozuna. Yoko went on a path of destruction through the WWF over the summer, but it was WCW signee Lex Luger who stood up for the USA on the 4th of July in a body slam challenge and is challenging for the title tonight. Hogan is gone, so America’s hopes rest on Luger. Let’s get to it.
We see Luger’s Lex Express bus arriving earlier today. Luger had gone around the country in a bus to get fan support for the match against Yokozuna. Why he didn’t stay in the WWF and win matches to get a title shot is beyond me.
Ted DiBiase vs. Razor Ramon
The match starts fast as DiBiase jumps Razor coming in. Razor comes back with a quick backdrop and a slam, sending DiBiase running to the floor. Back in and DiBiase takes it into the corner for some chops, only to be reversed on a whip and clotheslined out to the floor again. Razor pulls him back in but Ted chokes away on the top rope. I love basic heel moves like that. You never see those anymore because it’s all about attitude or whatever nonsense WWE tells you now.
Heenan makes jokes about the 1-2-3 Kid, who recently defeated Ramon and triggered his face turn. A clothesline gets two for DiBiase and it’s off to the chinlock. It’s clear that DiBiase is WAY past his prime here but his prime was so good that this is still totally watchable. Razor’s arms stay up on the third drop but DiBiase takes him back down with a swinging neckbreaker. Ted sends him to the floor and rips off a turnbuckle pad, only to be sent into it himself. The Razor’s Edge is good for the pin.
Rating: C-. Not much to see here but DiBiase was nothing more than a jobber to the stars by now anyway. This would actually be the last match in the WWF for DiBiase as he would do a quick run in Japan before retiring by the beginning of the year. The match wasn’t bad but it could have been the main event of any episode of Raw.
Todd Petingill interviews some of the Steiners’ relatives as we’re in their hometown. The sister calls Rick by his real name of Rob here.
Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Heavenly Bodies
Jim Cornette manages the challengers, who are Jimmy Del Ray and Tom Pritchard. This is part of the cross promotion with SMW. Heenan sings Cornette’s praises, which was how Cornette got over as a heel. He had debuted not long before this and Heenan immediately hugged him. Since Heenan was a heel and Cornette was a friend of his, Cornette was instantly hated. No shades of gray, no thought to it, just basic heel work. I miss stuff like that so much.
The Bodies jump the champions and send Scott out to the floor early on. A double flapjack puts Rick down and Scott is knocked back to the floor, but the Bodies spend too much time double teaming. All four are in now with the Steiners cleaning house to the delight of the crowd. I’m sure it has nothing to do with them wearing University of Michigan colors. A tilt-a-whirl slam (called a suplex by Vince) puts Del Ray down and the Steiners stand tall.
We officially start with Pritchard vs. Scott and Tom is slammed down in a BIG gorilla press. A backdrop puts Del Ray down and it’s off to Rick vs. Pritchard. Rick cleans house with Steiner Lines to send the challengers to the floor. Back in the and the Bodies finally start cheating, allowing Pritchard to hit an enziguri to send Scott to the floor, followed by a Del Ray moonsault press to wipe Scott out.
Back in and Del Ry hits a Rocky Maivia spinning DDT but doesn’t cover like the schnook that he is. Heenan has the match 1112-9 in favor of the Bodies. A powerslam gets two for Del Ray and Cornette jabs Scott in the throat with his tennis racket. Scott finally comes back with a belly to belly out of nowhere and makes the hot tag to Rick.
Everyone gets Steiner Lines (Heenan: “Mrs. Steiner just gave her daughter a Steiner Line!”) but the top rope bulldog only gets two on Del Ray thanks to a save. Cornette throws in the racket but a shot to Rick’s back is only good for two. Del Ray misses a moonsault and the Frankensteiner retains the belts.
Rating: C+. This was as by the book of a tag team match as you can get but it was still good stuff. I don’t think anyone cared about the Heavenly Bodies but that’s where a good manager like Cornette can come in handy: the fans are going to boo anyone he’s out there with, including a tag team who never did anything of note in the WWF.
A new interviewer named Joe Fowler (he didn’t last long) is with Shawn and Diesel, with the former saying he’s the best IC Champion ever. Diesel says he’s there to keep the chicks off the champ. Fowler wasn’t bad actually.
Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Shawn Michaels
Shawn is defending. This match was literally months in the making with the WWF basically saying “this is going to be the match of the year, guaranteed.” To continue the theme of things that just aren’t the same today, Perfect is trying to become the first three time IC Champion. We also have Radio WWF with JR and Gorilla Monsoon doing commentary. Wrestling used to be broadcast on the radio back in the day, with legendary sportscaster Bob Costas doing commentary at one point.
Shawn easily takes it down to start but Perfect snapmares him down as well. Perfect takes over with an armdrag and drives some knees into the arm. Shawn comes back with a headlock out of the corner but Perfect avoids an elbow and we have a stalemate. Some LOUD chops in the corner snap Shawn’s head back and a clothesline turns him inside out for two. Back to the armbar on the champion but Shawn escapes and goes up top, only to dive into an armdrag.
Perfect puts on another armbar before catapulting Shawn out to the floor in a great crash. Perfect goes to the floor but has to stare at Diesel, giving Shawn an opening for the yet to be named Sweet Chin Music. Shawn hits an ax handle of the apron to Perfect’s back before heading back inside to drop knees onto the back. A hard whip into the corner puts Perfect down again and Shawn drops down onto Perfect’s back.
Off to a backbreaker with Shawn bending Perfect’s back over Shawn’s knee. A stiff right hand gets Perfect out and a running dropkick puts Shawn down again. Perfect gets two off an atomic drop before countering a backslide into the PerfectPlex, only to have Diesel pull the leg for the save. Diesel gets punched in the face before both guys brawl on the floor. Shawn slides back in to distract the referee, allowing Diesel to post Perfect for the countout.
Rating: C. This was ok and nothing higher than that. The ending was lame and the match was a bunch of arm/back work with no heat segment or drama at all. It was a one off match that collapsed under the weight that the company put on it by saying it would be a classic and all that jazz. Not much to see here.
Perfect gets beaten down post match with Shawn claiming to be the best ever. Perfect gives chase and catches up with Shawn during an interview with Gene. The fight winds up being Perfect vs. Diesel in a match I don’t think ever happened, unless it was on some random Raw or Superstars.
1-2-3 Kid is nervous for his PPV debut.
I.R.S. vs. 1-2-3 Kid
The Kid is relatively new at this point, having shocked the world by beating Razor Ramon in May. He also beat IRS’ partner DiBiase recently so IRS is here for revenge and to stop the Kid’s lucky streak. The Kid is launched into the air and bounces off the mat for early control but he dropkicks IRS out of the air on a second attempt. Nice psychology there, but IRS knocks him to the floor a few seconds later.
Kid comes back in with a sunset flip for two but gets caught in an abdominal stretch to drag the match out even longer. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Kid takes him to the corner for some kicks and a moonsault press for two. A side roll gets two as Heenan is losing his mind. Kid dropkicks him down for two more, but IRS hits a flying clothesline for the pin out of nowhere.
Rating: D. What in the world was that? The Kid had been undefeated since May and you have him lose to a jobber to the stars in IRS? I don’t get the thinking here at all and it would continue to make little sense as the Kid would only lose one more singles match this year, and not again until next June. Yet he loses to IRS here? I don’t get it.
Owen and Bruce Hart say their dad is at home recovering from knee surgery but they’re here to support Bret.
Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler
This is the blowoff to a MAJOR feud which started at the King of the Ring. Bret won the tournament but Jerry attacked him during the coronation, saying he was the only real king in professional wrestling. Jerry comes to the ring on crutches with a big ice pack on his knee. He claims an injury from a car wreck (going into hilarious detail about a blue haired lady causing a ten car pileup) so Bret’s new opponent is the court jester.
Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown
This is evil Doink, meaning he’s AWESOME. Doink comes out carrying two buckets, one of which contains confetti to throw at the fans. The other is full of water which is thrown on Bruce Hart in the old Harlem Globetrotters trick. Bret jumps Doink on the floor and we get things going inside. Doink is punched back to the floor before he can even get his jacket off before Hart sends him into the post. Heenan talks about how Lawler was in an 18 car pileup, crawled out of the car and into a school bus, saved 40 kids from the bus and bought them all hamburgers before coming to the arena tonight. Vince’s stunned reaction is great.
Doink gets in a shot and goes up, only to be crotched on the buckle. Heenan: “He’s been de-Doinked!” Bret offers Lawler a chance to come in before dropping Doink with an atomic drop. Another Lawler distraction lets Doink hit a knee to the back before sending Bret into the steps. Doink starts working on the leg and wraps it around the post with Lawler cheering him on.
The Clown puts on an STF and Heenan swears Bret gave up. Doink transitions into a lame chinlock before putting on a stump puller (you sit the other guy down and push his head down while pulling up on a leg) to stay on the leg and neck. Bret comes back with a right and the Five Moves of Doom. He hooks the Sharpshooter but Lawler runs into the ring and breaks the crutch over Bret’s back for the DQ.
Rating: C+. The match was your usual good Bret match when he had a good opponent to work against. Lawler pretending to be injured is the perfect action for him as he’s such a slimy coward most of the time. The Bret vs. Lawler feud had incredible heat to it as the fans wanted to see Lawler get beaten up…….and then there’s this.
President Jack Tunney stops Lawler in the aisle and says get in the ring right now.
Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler
Bret blasts him in the head with one of Doink’s buckets before the bell. They head inside and Bret immediately pounds Lawler down and gets in a crutch shot for good measure. Lawler gets in a crutch shot to the throat and chokes away as the referee (ECW’s Bill Alfonzo) is trying to restrain the Hart Brothers.
Bret gets crotched against the post, allowing Lawler to tell the referee to go yell at the Brothers again. The distraction lets Lawler get in more crutch shots in a classic simple heel move. He stops to tell the booing fans to shut up but Bret is ready to fight. Hart destroys Lawer and even throws in a piledriver before putting on the Sharpshooter for the academic submission. He won’t let go though and the decision is reversed.
Rating: B. The match itself isn’t much from an action standpoint, but the story was perfect (Bret wants revenge) and it’s a short form clinic on how to work a crowd from Lawler. Those subtle things like distracting the referee and sneaking in weapon shots and telling the crowd to shut up are so basic and easy but you NEVER see them today. Today’s writers need to watch some Lawler matches and they’ll learn how to have a crowd eating out of a heel’s hand in no time.
It takes about ten referees plus two Brothers to pull Bret off of Lawler. Bret is told that Lawler is the undisputed King so he goes after Jerry again as Lawler is put on a stretcher. Bruce Hart gets in some shots as well but Lawler is finally wheeled off, raising his arm in victory like the true villain he is.
Unfortunately we never got the planned blowoff to this feud as some 15 year old accused Lawler of rape (she admitted she made the whole thing up and Lawler was acquitted) so the Hart Brothers vs. Jerry and three hired goons at Survivor Series never happened. That’s a shame as the reaction for Lawler being destroyed by the whole family including Stu would have been a sight to behold.
Ludvig Borga is on the streets of Detroit to show us the country that Lex Luger wants to stand up for.
Bret and his brothers say Lawler deserves a broken leg.
Marty Jannetty vs. Ludvig Borga
Borga is basically the original Antonio Cesaro but from Finland. Marty fires away to start but gets punched in the corner by the former boxer. A hard clothesline puts Jannetty down before Borga throws him into the air for an uppercut (much like Cesaro). More punches in the corner have Jannetty in trouble and a clothesline stops his comeback dead. Borga blows his nose on Jannetty before putting on a bearhug. Marty escapes and makes a quick comeback with a pair of superkicks but gets caught in a powerslam and a torture rack for the submission.
Rating: D-. This was one of the lamer squashes I can remember in a long time. Borga looked slow and limited in the ring but the rack looked good. Other than that though, Borga came off as much more flash than substance. He would get better, but at the end of the day he never quite did anything in the company.
Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker
This is a Rest in Peace match, which means No DQ and No Countout, or a street fight as we would call it. Gonzalez has been tormenting Undertaker all year and lost to him via DQ at Wrestlemania. Gonzalez is a legit 7’7 and his manager Harvey Whippelman has stolen the Urn. Paul Bearer is absent for reasons that aren’t quite explained. The Giant pounds on Taker to start but Taker comes back with some clotheslines. A single elbow takes the Dead Man down and they head outside with the Giant in control.
Gonzalez hits some of the weakest chair shots you’ll ever see before whipping Taker knees first into the steps. Back in and Undertaker hits some uppercuts but keeps reaching for the Urn. Taker is still down when the gong rings and Paul Bearer makes his return with a black wreath. Whippelman goes after him and gets decked, allowing Paul to get the Urn back. The Giant stares down at him, Undertaker sits up, hits five clotheslines and a sixth frm the top for the pin. Seriously, that’s it.
Rating: G. As in I long for Great Khali. You often hear bad wrestlers said to be as bad as Giant Gonzalez and there’s a good reason for that: the guy is HORRIBLE. I understand the idea of the guy being huge and not needing to do much, but Gonzalez couldn’t do even the most basic stuff without screwing it up. Having seen a good deal of both, I can safely say that Gonzalez makes Great Khali look like Bret Hart.
Post match Harvey turns on Gonzalez and gets laid out.
Cornette says his men have been ripped off all night but that won’t happen when Lex Luger faces his Yokozuna. All those people Luger has seen over the country aren’t going to be able to help him now because it’s just Luger vs. Yokozuna, and the last thing Luger will hear is BANZAI!
Smoking Guns/Tatanka vs. Headshrinkers/Bam Bam Bigelow
Aren’t cowboys and Indians supposed to fight? The heels have Afa and Luna Vachon with them. The Samoans run over the Guns to start and we have Bigelow vs. Tatanka to get us going. Tatanka fires off a shoulder block and a dropkick followed by an impressive backdrop. Both guys try cross bodies and Tatanka actually gets the better of it. For a gimmick wrestler Tatanka had some good success around this time.
A double tag brings in Billy vs. Fatu (Rikishi) with the Samoan hitting a quick superkick. Billy comes back with a top rope clothesline as Vince tells us Billy went to college on a rodeo scholarship. That actually exists? Another superkick from Samu knocks Billy into the tag to Bart who is slammed face first into the mat for his troubles. Bigelow comes in with a dropkick for two before it’s back to Fatu for a wicked powerslam. The Samoans take turns double teaming Bart with headbutts and chops as the heat segment goes on for a good while.
Bigelow misses a charge and hits the post, allowing Bart to make the hot tag off to Tatanka. The Indian chops every heel in sight and takes Bigelow down with a DDT and a high cross body for two. Tatanka goes on the war path but walks into an enziguri from Bam Bam. Sometimes there’s no better solution than to kick a guy in the head. Everything breaks down and Tatanka is left all alone against the three monsters. A TRIPLE HEADBUTT puts Tatanka down and all three go up for a triple flying headbutt, but Tatanka rolls away and rolls up Samu for the pin.
Rating: B-. Where in the world did this come from??? This was a shockingly good tag match with everyone moving fast and some great looking spots from Bigelow. Tatanka was one of those guys that the fans just liked and there’s no way you can fake that. Good stuff here and a very nice surprise.
To fill in time, we talk to Luger’s bus driver. The guy is so valuable he gets to sit in the bus and watch the show on a monitor. He talks about how great Luger is and how he visited a bunch of kids.
Pettingill asks some fans who they like in the main event and the answer is obvious.
Some guy sings the Japanese national anthem.
Randy Savage is master of ceremonies for the main event and comes out with some country singer who sings the American national anthem.
WWF Title: Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna
Remember, this is Luger’s ONE title shot. It’s a long staredown to start before Lex has to knock Mr. Fuji down. Lex starts pounding away but a single shot from the champion puts him down. Luger comes back with more right hands and down goes Yoko. A big elbow drop gets two for Luger and he avoid one from Yoko. Luger hits a running clothesline in the corner before pounding away on the champion’s head in the corner. Yoko will have none of that though and takes Luger down with a single chop.
Luger gets in some right hands but can’t slam Yoko again. Instead he gets kicked in the face and knocked to the floor with some headbutts. Out to the floor they go with Yoko choking Luger with a mic cord. A splash crushes Luger against the post but Yoko misses a chair shot. They head back inside where Luger hits two ax handle shots off the top and middle rope before a top rope forearm gets a very close two count.
A double clothesline puts both guys down and things slow down even more. Fuji throws in his bucket which Yoko uses to knock Luger out cold but only for two. A big belly to belly suplex and side slam get the same results as the champion is getting frustrated. Off to a nerve hold by the champion which eats up several minutes.
Luger fights up again but gets clotheslined down for two. To show you how impressive he is, Heenan actually compliments Luger. I don’t think I ever remember him cheering for a good guy before. Yokozuna loads up the Banzai Drop but Luger rolls away at the last minute. They fight into the corner again but Yoko misses a charge. Luger slams him down and hits the loaded forearm, knocking the champion out to the floor. Unfortunately for Luger, he also knocked Yokozuna out cold, earning Luger a countout win.
Rating: D+. This was long and slow without being very good. Luger got good reactions though, especially for the slam. It was clear that his character was nothing but warmed over Hogan leftovers but at least the fans hadn’t entirely realized that yet. This wasn’t a terrible match, but it certainly was nothing of note either. The ending wasn’t great but it was necessary to continue the story being told.
Luger celebrates with his friends to end the show despite not winning the title. We even get a music video of his push, which would be WAY more effective if Luger had, you know, WON THE FREAKING TITLE. Heenan: “This was his ONE shot!” Vince: “Don’t worry he’ll get another one!” Heaven forbid we pay attention to storylines that PPVs are built around.
Overall Rating: C+. With a Luger title win, this would have been a very solid show. There are some bad matches on here but the majority of the show works amazingly well with Bret vs. Lawler and the six man being highlights. Much like last year it’s a show where the overall show is better than its individual parts which made for a good show. Why Luger didn’t go over here continues to elude me.
Ratings Comparison
Razor Ramon vs. Ted DiBiase
Original: C-
Redo: C-
Steiner Brothers vs. Heavenly Bodies
Original: B-
Redo: C+
Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Perfect
Original: B-
Redo: C
1-2-3 Kid vs. I.R.S.
Original: F
Redo: D
Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown
Original: B
Redo: C+
Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler
Original: B+
Redo: B
Marty Jannetty vs. Ludvig Borga
Original: D+
Redo: D-
Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez
Original: C+
Redo: G (As in I long for Great Khali)
Tatanka/Smoking Gunns vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Headshrinkers
You kind of had to expect him to be back immediately after this was cleared up. It’s not like Otunga was going to be a long term replacement (just not enough experience though he was fine in the little time he was in the role) so it should be nice to have Lawler back in his heel role.
Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania XXVII: Miz’s Chris Jericho Moment
Wrestlemania XXVII Date: April 3, 2011
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 71,617
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Josh Matthews
This is the Rock’s show as he’s back to be guest host. Really that’s all you need to know here because it’s all that matters. We’ve also got Cena vs. Miz for the Raw Title, which is basically a backdrop for the obvious Rock and Cena interaction. For the blue guys we’ve got Del Rio challenging Edge for the title and Undertaker’s opponent is Shawn’s heterosexual life partner HHH. Oh and there’s no MITB this year thank goodness. Let’s get to it.
Keri Hilson sings America the Beautiful. I’m not sure who she is but I like her voice far better than Fantasia’s from last year.
The opening video sounds like the opening to a late night talk show, but it leads to ROCKY, which makes it all better. He does the long walk down the long ramp to get to the ring and the place goes nuts for him. Rock starts off with the FINALLY line after walking around the ring for a bit. He asks if we can feel, taste and smell the electricity. We get a pretty lame “I say Wrestle, you say Mania” bit with the crowd and Rock has goosebumps.
As for the wrestlers here tonight, there’s one in particular sitting in the back trying to decide which Fruity Pebbles shirt to wear to the ring tonight. We get the required Fruity Pebbles chant as Rock keeps stalling. Before continuing, Rock has to have some of the People’s Water (his words not mine). Now when he says Yabba, the people say Dabba. If it’s not clear by now, he has no idea what to say here for the most part.
Rock lists off all of his own nicknames to say he’s hosting while rhyming a bit (“Always defiant and standing taller than Andre the Giant”) before saying that IF YA SMELL belongs to the people. Everyone says it with him and that’s finally that. This was six minutes long and had about enough material to fill in a third of that.
We get the usual Wrestlemania through history video to show how important it’s been over the last 27 years.
Cole, a heel here, says this is the fabric of Americana. That’s a bit of a stretch I’d think.
Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Edge
Del Rio is challenging and comes out in a Rolls Royce. The video screen is made to look like a driveway for Del Rio to be driving from in a cool sight. Also at ringside is Del Rio’s bodyguard Brodus Clay. Does anyone even remember that association? Christian is of course here to second Edge. Alberto sends him into the corner to start but Edge comes back with some hard slaps. A backdrop puts Alberto down and a second one puts him on the floor.
Back in and Del Rio grabs an armbar to take over, only to be armdragged down. Alberto goes right back to the arm as Brodus talks trash. Back to the armbar but Del Rio misses a charge and falls out to the floor. Edge dives off the top to take Del Rio down again and we head back inside. The champion heads to the top but Alberto pulls him down with a top rope armdrag for two. Edge comes back with a big boot to get himself a breather but he can’t follow up.
A running forearm puts Del Rio down again and a flapjack gets two. Alberto grabs a Codebreaker to the arm but the cross armbreaker is countered into an Edge-O-Matic for two. Del Rio rolls through a rollup and grabs the armbreaker but Edge gets his feet on the ropes to quickly escape. Edge snaps Alberto’s neck on the top rope but as he goes up top, Del Rio hits the enziguri in the corner for two.
Brodus and Christian get in a fight on the floor but Del Rio kicks Christian down. There’s the Edgecution to set up the spear but it hits post instead. The armbreaker goes on but Edge keeps his hands together….for a minute before Alberto gets the hold on full. Edge gets on top of Alberto to break it up and there’s the Edgecator (modified Sharpshooter) but Del Rio rolls away. Not that it matters as Edge pops up and hits the spear to retain.
Rating: C+. For a world title match at Wrestlemania, this was a disappointment. For Edge’s last match because his neck was REALLY messed up, this was pretty decent stuff. Edge would retire a few days later and vacate the title, which says to me that he should have put Del Rio over here. At the end of the day it makes Alberto look weak to lose to a guy that banged up but it did give Edge a good moment to go out on. Nothing great though.
Post match Edge beats up Del Rio’s car and Alberto….lets him. Christian provides a pipe and the real beating of the car begins. This had to happen sooner or later. Cole brings up a good point: “Someone should arrest them.” True actually, but then again Orton didn’t get arrested for trying to blow up John Cena, so this is minor by comparison.
Tough Enough is coming. That show was awesome.
Cole taunts Lawler a bit before their match later.
Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio
Cody used to be Dashing but then Rey hit him with the 619 and the knee brace hit Cody in the face, scarring him and requiring facial surgery. Cody basically became Dr. Doom but in reality his face was fine. However he wanted Rey’s mask for retribution. This was an AWESOME character but of course WWE would wind up wasting the entire thing and make Cody a jobber because they got bored with him after a few months. Still though, this part was awesome.
Oh yeah the match. Rey comes out as Captain America this year which is an awesome looking costume for him. Rey is almost immediately sent to the apron but comes in off the top with a dropkick to take over. A forearm to Rey’s face takes over and Cody goes after the knee brace which caused the initial injury. Rey kicks his way out of the corner but Cody headbutts him in the face to take over again because of the hard mask.
The Disaster Kick to the head puts Rey down again and it’s off to a chinlock. Cody charges into a boot in the corner but comes right back with the Alabama Slam for two. Back to the knee brace for a second before Cody hits a running knee to the back of Rey’s head to keep him down. Mysterio is sent to the apron again and goes up top, only to be sent down in a delayed superplex. Cody stomps away and talks about how Rey hurt his face.
Rey escapes Cross Rhodes and sends Cody out to the floor for a baseball slide to the face. A headscissors sends Cody into the apron and we head back inside to speed things up. Rey hooks a quick quick rollup for two and fires off a kick to the face. Cody charges into a kick to the ribs but comes back with a release German suplex for two. A springboard headscissors puts Cody down but the 619 is caught in mid kick. Cody slingshots Rey’s throat into the middle rope for two more and now the knee brace is removed.
Rey comes right back with a moonsault press for two of his own and Cody loses his mask. The 619 hits and a hard kick to Cody’s head gets two more. Now Mysterio puts Cody’s mask on and hits a few headbutts with it before hitting a top rope headbutt to the chest for two. Cody rolls to the floor and sneaks in a shot to the face with the knee brace, followed up by Cross Rhodes for the upset pin.
Rating: B-. Good match here and pretty easily Cody’s biggest win ever to this point. Cody needed this win a lot more than Mysterio and it made him even more awesome than he already was before this match. Mysterio had nothing to gain here and it was a pleasant sight to see the hotter star go over like that.
We go to the back for our comedy segment of the night. Teddy is in the back with Snoop Dog for a talent search. First up we have William Regal dropping some rhymes on us. Snoop says it’s not gangster enough for him. Here are Khali and Beth Phoenix to sing Summer Loving from Grease. It would have been better as Natalya but still not bad. Finally we have Ryder singing Friday (now THERE’S a dated joke), only to be blasted with a chair by Piper. Snoop is….pleased? Masters does his pec dance to We Will Rock You with Yoshi Tatsu providing vocals. Horny raps and we have a winner. The Bellas come in to dance too.
Corre vs. Big Show/Kane/Kofi Kingston/Santino Marella
Corre is the sequel to Nexus and is made up of Barrett/Slater/Gabriel/Jackson. Barrett is IC Champion and Slater/Gabriel are tag champions. Santino and Slater start things off but after a quick hiptoss from Marella here’s Big Show. Matthews: “He’s certainly not unorthodox.” Yeah actually he is, given how big he is. Everything breaks down and Kofi kicks Barrett’s head off. In all the calamity, Santino Cobras Slater into the WMD for the pin in just over 90 seconds. This would be the replacement for MITB for the Mania payday.
Rock kind of hits on Eve Torres in the back. But enough of that as Rock says he can make magic with anyone that comes around the corner. I called this one before it happened live: Mae Young pops up and says she wants the People’s Strudel. Rock suggests the Moses variety instead and makes various other old people jokes. Mae smack’s Rock’s pants and leaves so Rock can say he wishes that was ANYONE else.
He turns around and locks eyes with Steve Austin. They look at each other and say it’s good to see each other with Rock asking if Austin remembers. Austin says he does and they shake hands. This wasn’t a funny moment but one of those where you could actually feel the intensity. Also to brag a bit, I called both of those appearances before they happened live.
We recap Randy Orton vs. CM Punk. Back in 2008, Orton cost Punk the title for no apparent reason by keeping him out of the Championship Scramble at Unforgiven. Two and a half years later, Punk jumped Orton and said he was doing this as revenge for Orton costing him that shot. Punk had since taken over the Nexus and sent them after Orton, who took them out one by one in a few weeks (Note that Cena spent six months fighting them and took out one guy while Orton took out about five in as many weeks). Tonight is the showdown.
Randy Orton vs. CM Punk
The cylinder from last year is now a cube which still has the videos playing on them. Orton immediately takes it to the floor and pounds away, but Punk jumps over the steps and kicks them into Orton’s knees. Back in and Orton stays on the knees for a quick two count. Punk of course mocks the knee injury before stomping at the legs even more. Randy grabs a quick backbreaker but Punk comes back with a kind of Stunner to the leg for two.
Punk hits the running knee in the corner but Orton falls down before he can hit the bulldog. The straightedge one stays on the knee and puts Orton in the Tree of Woe. In a cool bit, Orton tries to pull himself up but Punk drops a top rope knee to take Randy right back down. The GTS is countered but Punk breaks up the RKO with a high kick for two. Punk loads up the Macho Elbow but Orton crotches him down instead. A superplex puts Punk down but the cover is very delayed and only gets two.
Punk wraps the knee around the post a few times and Orton is in big trouble. Off to a modified Indian deathlock for a bit but Orton fights back and slugs Punk down to take over. Punk comes back with a basic kick to the knee and there’s the Anaconda Vice. Orton rolls over and the fans never once seemed nervous about a tap out. CM heads out to the apron and is rammed into the post, followed by the Elevated DDT. Orton loads up the Punt but the knee gives out. Punk heads to the outside and loads up the springboard clothesline but dives right into the RKO for the pin by Randy.
Rating: B. Good solid match here which should have been the end of the feud, but since this is WWE, there was a gimmick rematch the next month because that’s how WWE books feuds. You know, because WRESTLEMANIA isn’t good enough to end a story at. Anyway, very good match here between two guys with solid chemistry together.
The Rock and Gene Okerlund are in the back and they meet John Cena’s #1 fan: Pee Wee Herman. He’s not my kind of comedy but Rock recruits him to Team Bring It. Gene calls Herman a tool.
BUY THE WRESTLEMANIA DVD!
Hall of Fame time. The class of 2011: Abdullah the Butcher, Sunny, Road Warriors, Drew Carey, Bob Armstrong, Jim Duggan (with bowtie on the 2×4) and……that Shawn Michaels guy.
Here’s a Wrestlemania Recall from….Monday night? It’s Lawler and Swagger, Cole’s trainer for his match tonight, brawling.
We don’t bother recapping Cole vs. Lawler, but basically Cole has been heel since November and even cost Jerry the WWE Title a few months ago. After months and months, tonight is Lawler’s revenge. Swagger has been training Cole and Austin is guest referee. Booker and JR come out to do commentary with Josh.
Cole comes out in a Syracuse hoodie and headgear to match. He makes fun of JR for being fat and Lawler for having a big ego. This is going to be Lawler’s first Wrestlemania match.
Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole
Austin rides out on his ATV and sends Cole into his plastic cube. Cole warms up in his cube as Lawler and Austin wait in the ring. Austin rings the bell and Lawler goes right for Michael. He has to punch Swagger out first and sends him into the barricade for good measure. Cole begs for mercy and reaches his hand through the hole in the cube for a handshake, only to be pulled face first into the wall. Lawler climbs in and pounds away before bringing Cole out into the open.
Swagger interferes again and Cole gets a breather before actually hitting a baseball slide. Jack puts on the ankle lock as Cole is in control here. Back in and Michael works on the ankle some more as he’s actually maintaining control. Cole loads up a Vader Bomb but can only do it off the bottom rope for two. It’s remarkable that a former world champion is in this much trouble after a few shots by an announcer isn’t it?
Cole starts going after the ankle again as we’re somehow EIGHT MINUTES into this. The crowd chants boring and they’re absolutely right. Cole takes down a strap and puts on the An-Cole (yes that’s what it’s called) Lock but Lawler easily breaks it. After nine minutes plus, Jerry FINALLY comes back and starts pounding away. Swagger throws in a towel but Austin wipes his head with it and throws it back. Jack gets in the ring and is Stunned for his efforts.
Now Cole gets in Austin’s face but walks into a right hand from Jerry as the real beating begins. There’s a dropkick for good measure to put Cole down and it’s time for the middle rope punch, complete with a point to the sign and the peeling down of the strap. Jerry covers him but pulls it up at two. Lawler puts on the ankle lock and Cole immediately tabs. Austin asks if he gives up veeeeeeeeeery slowly. Cole: “YES YES I GIVE UP I GIVE UP!” Austin: “ARE YOU SURE!” The bell finally rings and we’re done.
Rating: D-. Oh this was terrible. This ran THIRTEEN AND A HALF MINUTES with Lawler getting beaten up for nearly ten of that. This should have been five minutes long with Lawler not even breaking a sweat. I can live with the lack of a piledriver for company rules, but the fist should have ended it rather than the ankle lock. At least it couldn’t get worse though.
Swagger carries Cole out and it’s time to drink. Booker comes in for no apparent reason and Lawler (a notorious non-drinker) has a chance to drop his beers. We get a Spinarooni and Booker gets a Stunner for stealing the spotlight.
And then it happens.
We get an e-mail from the Anonymous Raw GM, saying that since Austin got physical, the decision is reversed and Cole wins by DQ. If there has EVER been a dumber idea in wrestling history, I have no idea what it is. Lawler would get the win TWO MONTHS LATER and the GM would eventually be revealed to be Hornswoggle of all people. This is just so stupid. Austin gives Josh, the messenger, the Stunner for good measure. Also to keep the people from booing this out of the building anymore than they already are.
We get a video on Wrestlemania week.
We recap HHH Undertaker. In short, Shawn couldn’t do it the last two years, so now it’s HHH’s turn to try. Both guys talked about how big this was and how awesome they were and it’s no holds barred for no real apparent reason.
HHH vs. Undertaker
HHH comes out with a phalanx of soldiers, in battle gear and to a LONG version of For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica. Does it make up for the Thor entrance? No, but it’s pretty awesome. Taker comes out to Ain’t No Grave Can Hold My Body Down (or whatever its name is) by Johnny Cash. HHH pounds him into the corner to start but gets launched over the top rope for his efforts. The Game fires off more right hands but gets sent into the steps to break the momentum again.
HHH comes back by spearing him into the Cole Mine (JR and King are doing commentary now) but Taker sits up with ease. Back in and Taker hits the jumping clothesline but Old School is countered. A clothesline puts Taker onto the floor and HHH whips him into the barricade for good measure. HHH loads up the announce table but the Pedigree attempt is countered by a backdrop to the floor.
Taker goes back inside and busts out the Taker Dive for good measure. Thankfully this time he had HHH there to catch him. The steps are placed in front of the other table and Taker charges at HHH, only to be caught in the spinebuster through the table to put both guys down again. Back in and HHH walks into a chokeslam for a close two. HHH drives Taker into the corner and starts pounding away, only to get caught in the Last Ride ala Wrestlemania 17. He escapes this time though, only to have his Pedigree attempt countered. Snake Eyes connects but the big boot is countered into another spinebuster.
HHH brings in a chair but gets kicked in the face to give Taker the chair. The Game absorbs a shot to the back and grabs a quick Pedigree for two. Triple H pounds away in the corner again and now the Last Ride connects for two. The Tombstone also hits for two and Taker is getting frustrated. As he picks up HHH, the Game comes back with a DDT onto the chair for no cover. Both guys slowly fight to their feet and there’s another Pedigree and a VERY slow count for two.
A third Pedigree hits and the crowd is barely popping anymore on these kickouts as we’re reaching the point of ridiculousness. HHH blasts him in the back with the chair eight times but he’s too gassed to follow up. A ninth cracks Undertaker in the head and the Dead Man is in trouble. There are about 45 seconds of nothing in between these shots by the way. Taker can’t sit up so HHH yells at him to stay down. A chokeslam attempt is easily shrugged off but Taker gets to his feet in the corner.
HHH tombstones Undertaker but even with the tongue out it only gets two. Again, if your name isn’t Kane, THAT DOESN’T WORK. HHH goes to the floor and gets the sledgehammer but walks into the Hell’s Gate. He drops the hammer but the hold is locked on tight. HHH starts to pass out but gets the hammer again. Then he drops it again and HHH taps out to make Undertaker 19-0.
Rating: B. I’m pretty sure that’s what I gave it live and it barely holds up to that level now. At the end of the day, this was treated like a match where Taker was beaten down so much that he couldn’t possibly come back. The problem with the match is exactly that: it only felt like a match designed to be as one sided as possible for him to make the comeback. Think of it like the Aristocrats joke: take it as far as you can go and then get to the surprise ending. As mentioned, the fans didn’t even react to the near falls by the end. It also didn’t feel natural at all, much like the two Shawn matches. Good, but definitely not great.
Taker is carted out, which was the inspiration for the rematch, as HHH made it sound like he won the match.
Wrestlemania next year is in Miami.
John Morrison/Snooki/Trish Stratus vs. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler
Barely any story here as it’s just there to give us Snooki, which is supposed to mean something. Vickie is with Laycool here because she’s already screwing Dolph at this point. Trish is STUNNING as a brunette here too. Laycool attacks to start and the guys get involved as well. Michelle shoves Layla to start so Trish comes in and beats Michelle up. The Matrish is broken up with a stomp but Trish escapes the Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) with a facebuster.
Michelle and Stratus slug it out on the top before falling to the floor at the same time. Layla tries to interfere and gets decked as well, only to have Trish dive off the apron and take both of them out. The Chick Kick gets two on Michelle as the guys come in sans tags. Starship Pain to the floor takes Ziggy out and there’s the tag to Snooki for a handspring elbow to Michelle. That and a splash are good for the pin.
Rating: D+. Trish and Laycool looked hot, Snooki did her two moves decently enough, the guys did almost nothing at all and Vickie was kept to a minimum in the less than three and a half minutes this ran. For a match that short with Trish looking that good, how much can you really complain here? Laycool would be split in a month with Michelle leaving the company.
The new attendance record is 71,617. Woot.
Do you need a recap of Cena vs. Miz? Miz is champion and it’s Cena at Wrestlemania.
Anyway we do get a video of Miz’s rise from MTV to Wrestlemania main event, cut in with great Wrestlemania moments. I’ll give them this: Miz’s rise from total joke to what he became is nothing short of remarkable. How Cena got the shot isn’t even mentioned here. I think he won the Chamber match.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz
Miz, complete with the SWEET coat, comes out through a set of balloons spelling out the word AWESOME. Oh and Alex Riley is here too. Cena has a full on gospel choir to sing him to the ring. That’s rather awesome. We get a prayer set to a Cena career video. If nothing else, this lets us see a gospel choir singing “Your time is up, my time is now.” It gets booed out of the building, but it does exist.
Feeling out process to start with Miz being taken down by a headlock. Miz grabs a headlock of his own but gets thrown down yet again. A test of strength is teased but Cena grabs another headlock instead. Not much to see yet. Miz fights into the corner and stomps away before hitting the corner clothesline for two. Matt Hardy’s Side Effect gets two more as we’re firmly in first gear here. Another corner clothesline misses and Cena comes back with a regular clothesline for two.
A big boot to the head gets two for Miz as the crowd continues to be dead silent for this. Cena misses a….cross body I think and falls to the apron. A Million Dollar Kneelift gets two for the champion but the Skull Crushing Finale is reversed and Cena fires off the shoulder blocks. The finishing sequence continues but Miz escapes the AA into a low DDT for two. Miz escapes the STF and hits the Reality Check for two more. The champion removes a buckle pad and as the referee puts it back on, Cena gets an unseen small package for two.
Another AA attempt is blocked with Miz grabbing the top rope. Instead it’s the STF but Miz quickly gets to the rope. Riley gets on the apron and the distraction is enough to send Cena into the buckle (apparently the referee is a bad repairman) and the Skull Crushing Finale gets two. Another Finale is reversed and the referee is bumped. The AA (ZERO pop) hits but there’s no one to count. Riley comes in with a briefcase shot to the head which gets another two on Cena.
Alex tries to come in again but Miz’s case shot takes him out by mistake. A BIG release AA hits again but Miz kicks out at two. They head outside and Cena clotheslines Miz over the barricade into the timekeeper’s area. Miz tries to get up and Cena spears him down, sending Miz’s head HARD into the concrete. I’ve heard Miz say that gave him a concussion and as a result he doesn’t remember a thing about this match. It looked TERRIBLE too, and it actually ends the match, as in the MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA, in a double countout.
Rating: D-. The second half of this match got WAY better than the first, but the problem is it’s a fifteen minute match and the first seven or so are ridiculously boring. On top of that, did I mention it was a DOUBLE COUNTOUT IN THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA??? The only good thing here was Miz kicking out of the AA in the middle of the ring. That’s how you make a guy look good. The rest of the match however is how you make someone look HORRIBLE, much like the match. Terrible stuff here as Miz wasn’t ready for this, which is what almost everyone thought would happen.
Oh wait here’s Rock, who apparently has match making powers as host (why he didn’t change the Lawler/Cole match earlier is anyone’s guess). After ignoring another e-mail, he restarts this under No DQ rules. The bell rings, Cena can’t hit the AA, Rock hits the Rock Bottom on Cena, Miz retains.
Post match Rock beats up Miz to a very limited reaction and it’s the People’s Elbow to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. Back in 2011 when I first watched this, I said out loud “What did I just watch?” That’s the same thing I’m wondering now, because this was terrible. Taker vs. HHH and Orton vs. Punk are both solid matches, but other than that this might as well have been Over the Limit instead of Wrestlemania. Basically this was there to set up the next edition of the show, which is pretty much a big screw you to the fans. Nothing to see here other than MAYBE HHH vs. Undertaker, but other than that there’s nothing of quality going on. One interesting note though: this is the only Mania ever with no title changes.
Ratings Comparison
Edge vs. Alberto Del Rio
Original: C+
Redo: C+
Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio
Original: B
Redo: B-
Corre vs. Kane/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/Big Show
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
CM Punk vs. Randy Orton
Original: B-
Redo: B
Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler
Original: C
Redo: D-
Undertaker vs. HHH
Original: B
Redo: B
Snooki/Trish Stratus/John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler/Laycool
Original: N/A
Redo: D+
Miz vs. John Cena
Original: C-
Redo: D-
Overall Rating
Original: C-
Redo: D
Oh man was I too nice to this show back in the day.
Monday Night Raw – June 19, 1995: It’s About Feet Again!
Monday Night Raw Date: June 19, 1995
Location: Struthers High School, Struthers, Ohio
Attendance: 1,450
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
It’s finally the go home show for King of the Ring 1995 and it’s not a moment too soon. Last week was mostly built around Jerry Lawler’s feet and I’m really not sure how many more times I can sit through something like that. We might even get some build towards the tournament for a change. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Undertaker vs. Mike McReynolds
Undertaker gets in an uppercut as this is the kind of beating that you get with Undertaker vs. a guy named Mike McReynolds. The smoke is still clouding the arena as the chokeslam and Tombstone wrap this up in a hurry.
McReynolds gets put in a body bag post match. He probably earned it.
Lawler goes on another rant about making Bret kiss his feet.
We look back at Bob Backlund destroying Man Mountain Rock’s guitar.
Man Mountain Rock thinks that was a pretty crummy thing to do.
Adam Bomb vs. Bill Payne
Adam runs him over with a shoulder to start and sends Payne flying with hiptosses. A side slam and belly to back suplex sets up the top rope clothesline to put Bill away. I still have a bit of a soft spot for Bomb.
King of the Ring control center with ANOTHER focus on Lawler’s feet. This really is the main event. Lawler torments Vince with the plastic feet and Bret says this is going to be a nice match against a slimeball. We wrap it up with a mention of the tournament with Razor Ramon’s injury being mentioned. It’s nice to have them actually tell you that a major name might be off the show. I can barely think of another instance in this era actually.
Sid/Tatanka vs. Headshrinkers
This is Fatu and Sione (Barbarian) instead of Samu. I remember waiting for Samu to make his comeback from eating bad fish for months but nothing ever came of it. I was devastated. Fatu and Tatanka get things going with Fatu (somehow the only Hall of Famer in this match) pounding down right hands in the corner. Tatanka sends him to the floor but we cut to Sid, who is blinking a lot.
Tatanka’s DDT just makes Fatu dance and you can see a lot of the Usos in there. It’s off to Sid so Fatu Moon Walks into the corner for the tag and the Headshrinkers knock Sid into trouble as well. A big clothesline turns Fatu inside out though to give us a signature bump and we take a break.
Back with Tatanka getting in some cheap shots from the apron before Fatu avoids a charge, only to have Tatanka break up the hot tag attempt. Not that it matters as we get the tag a few seconds later, bringing in Sione for a piledriver on Tatanka for a near fall. Everything breaks down and Sid powerbombs Fatu in the ring and gives Sione one on the floor, setting up an easy pin for Tatanka.
Rating: D+. This was the dark days of the Headshrinkers as Fatu was kind of a Rikishi prototype and Sione never worked that well as a partner. There’s always room for a Samoan team and you can use them for jobbers in spots like this. The problem was that they were losing to Sid and Tatanka who were a pretty lame main event threat.
We look at Sid injuring Diesel’s elbow until Bigelow made the save. As a bonus, we get a recap of the entire build which really isn’t helping things out.
Diesel isn’t worried about his elbow injury and Bigelow says there’s a lot of positive energy. Vince doesn’t buy this, but to be fair almost no one bought King of the Ring.
Lawler goes on a great maniacal tirade about how much he wants Bret to kiss his feet.
We go to Lawler’s dungeon to see what he has planned to use on Bret, including something called the Fallbrett. Lawler is clearly having a blast with this, even though it’s such a stupid idea.
Buck Quartermaine vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley
HHH is still undefeated at this point. Buck’s arm work goes nowhere so the announcers talk about the Kiss My Foot match again. Some right hands and chops have Buck (whose boots don’t match) in trouble in the corner, followed by the Pedigree for the pin.
Shawn Michaels vs. Gus Kantarrakis
Gus is a very hairy guy and Vince makes sure to say his full name every time. Shawn runs him over to start and rides the goon on the mat a bit. With nothing else to do, Shawn jumps out to the floor and sits in the front row. Back in and Gus gets a few shots before they head outside again where the jobber gets suplexed on the floor. The superkick puts Gus out as you would expect.
Post match Kama comes in to jump Shawn but is quickly dispatched. Undertaker and Mabel come out as well but nothing happens.
Lawler promises to make Bret kiss his feet one more time to wrap it up.
Overall Rating: D. There’s a reason these shows are so nearly universally hated. Whether the WWF agrees with it or not, the Kiss My Foot match is the real main event on Sunday instead of the main event tag match which isn’t doing anything for anyone. The company was in a horrible place at this point and it’s really not surprising that King of the Ring was such a disaster.
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