We’ll head over to TNA for one of their Triple Crown Champions: Chris Sabin.

Sabin would debut in 2000 and hang out in the indies for a few years before joining upstart company TNA in 2003. Less than a month after debuting he would receive an X-Division Title shot in a three way on May 14, 2003.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Amazing Red

Red is defending. Everyone goes after everyone to start and all three guys hit armdrags. Red misses a running shooting star press and it’s a three way standoff. Lynn hits a quick dropkick to the side of Sabin’s head but Red makes the save, triggering a fight between the two of them. Red sends him into the corner with a hurricanrana followed by a dropkick in the corner. Lynn comes right back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two with Chris making the save.

It’s Sabin vs. Lynn now with Sabin scoring with a backbreaker of his own for two. Red replaces Jerry in the two man fight and takes Sabin down with something resembling a DDT for a near fall of his own. This brings out XXX (Christopher Daniels, Low Ki and Elix Skipper) to watch the match from ringside. Red hurricanranas Sabin off of Lynn’s shoulders and gets clotheslined down by Jerry for two more. Sabin backdrops out of a cradle piledriver but gets caught in a quick German suplex for another near fall.

Chris catches Lynn in a sitout powerbomb but Red breaks up the pin with a dropkick. Red can’t get a sunset bomb on Chris so he kicks him in the face for two instead. We get a double reverse DDT with Sabin DDTing Red and Lynn DDTing Sabin to put all three guys down. Lynn puts Sabin in a figure four headscissors and Red puts the same thing on Jerry. Well where would a threeway be without doing the same ideas that ECW started ten years earlier?

Everyone lets go of their holds for no apparent reason other than to get to the next spot. Red takes Lynn down with a tornado DDT but Sabin kicks his head off before the champion can dive. Instead it’s Sabin with the dive onto Jerry but Red dives on both of them for good measure.

Back in and Jerry drops a leg on the back of Sabin’s head but Red breaks up the pin with a Swanton. A MuscleBuster gets two on Red with Jerry making the save this time. Lynn’s cradle piledriver gets two on Sabin and everyone is spent. Red gets two on Jerry via a slingshot sunset bomb but XXX interferes with Skipper laying out Red and putting Sabin on top for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Pick almost any three way match you’ve ever seen over the years and this is about the same thing. It’s nothing I haven’t seen a dozen times and I can’t stand how contrived so many of the spots look. Sabin would turn heel as a result of the ending but that was part of the big mess for TNA in 2003.

Sabin would stick around the division for a long time and fight for the change at being champion again, including in a fourway on the first episode of Impact from June 4, 2004.

Chris Sabin vs. Michael Shane vs. Elix Skipper vs. AJ Styles

Styles is a mystery man, revealed about twenty seconds after Russo wouldn’t reveal him. This is his first of about 85 returns to the X-Division. It’s a wild brawl to start as thankfully we don’t have tags in this. Shane and Styles are the only ones left in the ring and AJ does that sweet drop down into a dropkick spot, only to be taken down by a springboard missile dropkick from Sabin.

Skipper kicks Sabin down for two but Shane is back up with forearms. A wheelbarrow suplex puts Skipper down again as the fans are all over Shane. AJ pulls Michael out to the floor but gets suplexed down for his troubles. Skipper slams Sabin for two but gets caught in an Edgecution for two for Sabin. Chris escapes a rollup from AJ and gets two of his own off a springboard tornado DDT.

Shane is back in with a belly to belly on Sabin but gets crotched by AJ, allowing Elix to walk the ropes into a hurricanrana to send Michael to the floor. AJ sends Sabin to the floor and hits a big flip dive to take Skipper down as well. Shane loads up a superkick to Sabin, only to have AJ springboard in with a sunset flip, only to roll through into the Styles Clash for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C+. Nice insane X-Division match to show off what the X-Division was all about. Styles winning was pretty obvious but that doesn’t make it a bad thing. He’s one of those guys you have to showcase on the first TV show and they did a great job at it here. It’s also still weird to see Sabin as just another guy.

Sabin would get a title shot at Turning Point 2004 but lose to a pair of brass knuckles. He would fight champion Petey Williams again in a triple threat Ultimate X match the next month at Final Resolution with AJ Styles rounding out the trio.

X-Division Title: Petey Williams vs. AJ Styles vs. Chris Sabin

Williams is the longest reigning champion at this point. Basic three man match to start with no one having a long advantage. There’s just this and the world title left though so they have a ton of time. They double team Petey for a bit and Sabin hits a running dropkick in the corner. Sabin and Williams head to the floor so AJ dives on both of them to take them out. Why mess with what works?

Back into the ring and Sabin and AJ get up on the top where Sabin jumps up and dropkicks AJ into the structure. Sabin has a clear run at the belt but D’Amore pulls him down. That gets him tossed but lets Williams get the advantage due to the distraction. He sends AJ into the railing and beats up Sabin in the ring. Sharpshooter goes on Sabin so AJ climbs across the ropes, only to have Williams let Chris go and make the save. This is better than it sounds.

AJ gets put in the Tree of Woe and Petey stands on his balls so he can sing O Canada. That’s a signature spot actually despite how weird it sounds. AJ dropkicks him down and Sabin is back in now. Petey makes a run at the belt but Sabin is on AJ’s shoulders so Petey grabs a Doomsday rana to put everyone down. Everyone not named Sabin goes up and it’s time to play some chicken.

Petey wraps his legs around the ropes and Sabin pulls down AJ like an idiot. Petey can’t get the belt and falls off to put all three guys on the mat. Sabin goes up but has to snap off a rana to take AJ down. In ANOTHER awesome spot, Petey goes for the Canadian Destroyer but Sabin counters into the Cradle Shock but Petey counters into a reverse DDT but AJ hits his moonsault into a reverse DDT to Petey who reverse DDTs Sabin at the same time.

Before they have time to be sore AJ goes up and in what was a highlight reel moment for a long time, Sabin gets a dropkick to AJ’s chest to send him flipping forward and crashing down flat on his back. He jumped to do it but the bump looked great. Styles and Williams fight up the scaffold and Williams bends AJ’s arm through the scaffold which is a new move, especially when AJ HANGS BY HIS ARM. FREAKING OW MAN!

Cradle Shock puts Petey down and it’s time to go up. AJ saves into a Styles Clash attempt by Sabin pulls on the arm. AJ is like screw it and pulls him up into a powerbomb and then the Clash to put everyone down again. Styles goes for the belt but his bad arm drops him down and Petey pops up for a Destroyer to kill AJ dead.

Down goes Sabin to a tornado DDT and it’s time for the Destroyer again. That doesn’t work and a Border Toss into the buckle has Petey more or less dead again. Sabin and Williams are both up before Styles and both climb, wrapping their legs around the ropes. They get the belt down but AJ is like boys, let me show you how it’s done. He gets a springboard off the ropes and pulls it out of the air to get his fourth X Title. SWEET ending.

Rating: A. Somehow this was better than the tag title match. This should be TNA’s answer to the TLC match but they’ve managed to turn it into a throw on match. Anyway, awesome match here as they let three guys go out there and just do it which is the right thing to do. Great match and totally fun the entire time. AJ is awesome. What a shock.

Sabin was always a part of the World X Cup tournaments, often captaining Team USA. One of these matches had its finals at Sacrifice 2006.

World X Cup Final Round: Gauntlet Match

All sixteen participants in the match are in this. It’s a two minute starting period followed by one minute intervals after that. It’s over the top rope eliminations until we get down to one on one when it becomes a singles match. The teams that make it to the final match receive two points apiece and the winner of the match gets an extra three. If the two finalists are from the same team, their team receives seven points and automatically wins the tournament. In the event of a tie, the captains will face each other in a singles match….on Impact.

We start with Minoru Tanaka (Japan) and Puma (Mexico). Tanaka offers a handshake to start but as Puma shakes it, Tanaka Mists him to take over. A springboard missile dropkick puts Tanaka down and an enziguri staggers him. Tanaka gets in a suplex but covers out of instinct. #3 is Petey Williams (Canada) and he joins forces with Minoru to double team Puma. That lasts a good 20 seconds before Petey turns on Puma.

#4 is Chris Sabin (USA) and things speed up again. Sabin whips all three guys into the corner but only hits Tanaka with a forearm. A double clothesline takes the other two down and Hiroki Goto (Japan) is #5. He hits a spin kick to take down Sabin and teams up with his teammate to clean house. #6 is Incognito (Mexico) who seems to wrestle in slow motion. He knocks Petey to the floor and hits a suicide dive but neither guy went over the top so everyone is still in. Before I forget, Incognito is currently known as Hunico in WWE.

#7 is Johnny Devine (Canada) and he puts Incognito down in the corner for some running knees. #8 is Sonjay Dutt (USA) to continue the pattern the entries have taken. All eight are still in at the moment. The Americans double team Williams but Devine makes the save. And never mind as Dutt snaps off an inverted rana to send him flying. In at #9 is Black Tiger (Japan) and he runs over Dutt very quickly.

Tiger hooks an ankle lock on Williams but Devine makes the save. Magno is #10 (Mexico) and he comes in with some springboard flips. It’s impossible to tell what’s going on as there are too many people in the ring at the moment. Eric Young (Canada) is #11 as two people go through the ropes, as in not being eliminated. We get a LOUD Eric chant as we’re told that Incognito and Dutt are both out with Dutt having an injured ankle.

#12 is Alex Shelley (USA) and house is cleaned. He hits a complicated double team move on the Canadians and a spin kick Devine. Sabin and Devine go out in a big rush of offense as Liger (Japan) is #13 and the final member of Team Japan. Magno charges into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Liger and they go to the top rope. Liger gets superplexed down and Shocker (Mexico) is #14. Magno charges at someone and is backdropped out.

Black Tiger goes up top but gets powerbombed down and eliminated as we see Tyson Dux (Canada) in at #15. Dux sends Puma to the apron but he gets back in. Shelley throws out Goto and Jay Lethal (USA) is #16 and the final entrant. By my count we have eight people left: Young, Minoru, Shelley, Lethal, Puma, Dux, Liger, Shocker and Williams. Lethal dropkicks Minoru out. That leaves Japan with just Liger.

Shocker charges at Dux and gets monkey flipped to the floor. Dux and Young go at Liger and get palm strikes to the chest for their efforts. They combine to eliminate Liger, eliminating Japan entirely from the gauntlet and the competition. Lethal immediately puts Young out and we’re down to five: Dux, Lethal, Shelley, Williams and Puma. There goes Dux and we’re down to four. The Americans double team Williams but Shelley misses a charging knee to eliminate himself. Lethal goes to the apron but jumps back in, right into a spin kick from Puma to get us down to two.

Puma hits a fast brainbuster and remember that it’s now a regular one on one match. The Canadian Destroyer hits out of NOWHERE and the Canadians in the form of Williams wins, meaning it’s Williams vs. Sabin for the Cup on Impact (Sabin would win the match and the Cup).

Rating: B-. That’s as high as I can possibly go with this. The match wasn’t bad at all but it’s the walking definition of throw A LOT of stuff out there and have them do flips and dives with the hope that the crowd likes it. I don’t really know what else there is to say about this. I don’t see the need in having it go over to Impact and not ending it here, but I guess it gave them something else to do on Thursday. Not a bad match, but it was only going to be able to be so good if that makes sense.

Soon after this, Sabin would start chasing the X Title again, finally winning it in early 2007. Here’s one of this biggest title defenses, in an Xscape match at Lockdown 2007.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Jay Lethal vs. Alex Shelley vs. Shark Boy

Sabin is champion and this is an Xscape match, as in first one out is the winner. They tried this a bunch of times but they screwed it up by having like ten people in it. Five is about perfect. Lethal has Nash with him. The cage is kind of different as it looks like the old cage with the squares in the walls, but they’re a lot smaller. I like it. And they have to tag. What exactly are the rules for this thing? That’s not worth letting us know, because we need to talk about the main event.

Dutt and Sabin start. If I remember right, it’s elimination rules and when you get down to the final two it’s escape only. Hey I’m right. Sabin and Shelley try to cheat but Sabin has to put the brakes on. Dutt does his flips but gets placed on the top rope. Sabin sets for a superplex but Shark Boy walks the ropes and tags himself in for a three man Tower of Doom.

Sharky vs. Shelley now and a neckbreaker gets two for the fish. Hurricanrana and a missile dropkick get two. Sabin and Shelley work together a bit more but Shark Boy easily takes care of both of them. To be fair the Guns weren’t a team in TNA yet but this would be their first date for lack of a better term. Sharky tries Diamond Dust but gets caught in a reverse DDT by Shelley. A double legdrop via the Guns take care of him and we’re down to four.

Lethal is in next to a big reaction. Lethal works over Alex but Sabin interferes again and Shelley hits a top rope jawbreaker to put Lethal down. Sabin goes over and blasts Dutt for no apparent reason. Not a nice guy. Sabin vs. Lethal now with Sabin firing off a rapid fire Garvin Stomp. The Guns hit some stuff that would become signature moves over the years. The fans love Shelley.

The Guns beat on Dutt as only they can. Off to Lethal and things speed up again. He fires off a ton of rights to Sabin but the Guns are too much for him. The sequence where they get Lethal on the mat with Shelley having him in a neckbreaker position so Sabin can hit a running dropkick gets two. Dutt tries a springboard double clothesline but slips off so he hits Shelley but the wrong side of him.

Dutt hits an Asai Moonsault press but the Guns are too much for him as Shelley hits a Stunner and crossface style hold. It’s a tag match now and the non-Guns have stereo submissions on. The ASCS Rush puts Lethal down and a wicked Cradle Shock gets rid of Dutt. Lethal hits Lethal Combinations on both guys and the top rope elbow gets us down to two. Now it’s just escape. Lethal takes over and they both climb. They get on the top and both climb down but Sabin gets a kick to knock him into the cage, allowing Chris to drop to the floor to retain.

Rating: B-. This was a very solid opener with the crowd getting way into the Guns. They would officially unite by the end of the month, starting off a multi-year run which is still technically going despite injuries. Lethal would get the title during the summer, holding it for a whopping two days! The Guns would somehow not win the tag titles until 2010.

Sabin would soon hook up with Alex Shelley as the Motor City Machine Guns and take the tag divsision by storm. Their main goal was of course the Tag Titles and they would receive one of many shots at Turning Point 2009 in another three way match.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. British Invasion vs. Motor City Machineguns

The Brits (Williams and Magnus) have the titles here. They’re heels and Beer Money are faces….I think. They won a match on Impact to get here. No clue on the Guns but they’re faces also. Storm vs. Magnus to start as Storm jumps him to control early. Roode comes in quickly and it’s off to Shelley. Backbreaker gets two for Roode as we get the usual solid stuff from these teams.

They chop it out but Shelley hits the floor and takes Roode’s leg out. Off to Sabin who comes in with a hilo and they speed things up a bit. Williams makes a blind tag which is rather smart when you think about it. Sabin and Williams have a nice gymnastics routine (thankfully minus the tutus) and it’s off to Shelley. The Guns get to show off which they do rather well to say the least.

Sabin comes back in and the fans chant USA. I would love Beer Money to get all fired up and say they love America more than the Guns and have it fire them up. Why can only faces be patriotic? The Brits take over on Sabin but Beer Money comes in for the save. They shout their representative names in the title of their team, only for the Guns to get a blind tag of their own.

We get a bad oral sex joke with the Brits as this breaks down just for a bit. The Guns take over and everyone beats on Magnus. Williams tries a backslide on Sabin but Shelly gets a superkick to break it up. Sliced Bread (I love that name) can’t connect as Shelly is caught in a nice superkick (why does EVERYONE use that move anymore) German suplex combo. Take that USA fans!

Beer Money takes over on the Brits now as they might as well put up a big sign saying BRITS WILL RETAIN. Maybe I’m jaded but as soon as they get beaten down this much it’s clear they’re going to get the come from behind win. And as I say that, here’s Eric Young, the leader of World Elite of which the Brits are members. Storm chases him off and Kevin Nash of all people comes out to stop Young. Ah apparently he wants the Global (now TV) Title back. Nash takes it….and hits Storm to join World Elite. In the ring a Hart Attack with a jumping back elbow instead of a clothesline and off the top ends this.

Rating: C-. Match wasn’t bad but at the same time it was kind of a mess at times. The Nash turn came off as unnecessary to put it mildly as it really didn’t add anything to the match and felt like the whole point of things rather than the match itself, as the point is supposed to be. Not bad, but a bit too sloppy for my tastes.

The Guns would keep getting closer and close to the belts over the years. They would also develop a major rivalry with Beer Money, culminating with a match for the vacant Tag Team Titles at Victory Road 2010.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns

Ok so the Guns more or less have to win here. I like the Guns’ music. Storm and Shelley start us off. They’re doing a slow build to start us off as Taz says the Guns are the best team from their city, including the Tigers. Uh, deep? We get a Mel Torme reference of all things as we’re talking about tap dancing. Beer Money takes over and after a double vertical suplex they do their thing.

Shelley is getting beaten on. This is a good match so far so it’s hard to make jokes. Well other than Taz and Tenay who are always jokes. Ah there’s Sabin. I like him better than Shelley I think. We crank it up a bit and Sabin hits a running punt on Storm while he’s on the apron and Storm is on the floor. The crowd is getting back into it a bit too. Eye of the Storm gets two on Sabin.

I’m sorry for the excessive play by play here but that’s the main thing going on here. That made less than no sense but just go with it. We’ve lost any resemblance of a tag match here as it’s just all insanity. Maybe Heyman is booking the company. Everything just goes insane and this is awesome for once. The Guns dominate as Storm has a beer bottle. The referee gets beer spit in his face as the Guns hit a combination splash/neckbreaker on Roode for two.

There’s another referee here now and I have a bad feeling about this. It’s ALL Guns here as we’re going fast paced here. They hit their kick combination and cover Roode as Storm rolls Sabin up. The referees count a double pin and it’s Dusty Finish time. Earl, not the original referee, says restart it. The Guns win in like a minute with the same thing they did earlier, making the restart TOTALLY POINTLESS. Very good match though so I can’t complain much.

Rating: A-. This was a VERY good match. The main thing holding it back is the restart which was the walking definition of overbooking. What in the world is that supposed to help? Whatever it was I certainly don’t get it. The Guns are the champions, albeit nearly three years later. Still though, if they’re going to win them, at least win them in a classic I guess. Very good match all the way through. Loved it.

The rivalry with Beer Money wasn’t over though as the teams entered into a best of five series for the titles. Naturally the teams split the first four matches, setting up a showdown over the belts at the Whole F’N Show on August 12, 2010.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns

This is 2/3 falls. I’ll give TNA this: when they find something that works, they RUN with it. Shelley and Roode start us off and the crowd is WAY behind Shelley. The Guns do their usual insane speed stuff which is always cool looking. Roode does the old classic heel tactic of slapping his hands to convince the ref that there was a tag. It doesn’t work but it’s always awesome.

Sabin breaks through the endless domination of the heels as the fans are just getting irritating. NICE (I think) double team spot from the Guns as we get a downward spiral combined with a DDT and a missile dropkick. Roode takes Sabin’s head off with a big boot and the Guns clear the ring. Back in the ring a Backstabber sets up DWI on Shelley to make it 1-0 Beer Money.

Never a fan of challengers getting clean pins in the first fall of a 2/3 match. It makes the champions look like they lost completely clean. Nice double dropkick by Sabin to clean house again. The splash/neckbreaker ties it up after about two minutes. That move needs a name.

Roode does a HUGE dive over the ropes which they screw up by changing the camera at the last second. After a break it’s more even fighting. This has been a great match. Sabin hits a springboard DDT on Roode which I loved. Granted that might be because the DDT is my favorite move. Both teams hit a sweet double team sequence.

Sliced Bread #2 is countered as is DWI. Last Call superkick ends Roode and the double team combo DOESN’T get the pin on Storm. I would have bet on that ending it. Another one does in fact end it though, which is a bit anticlimactic but still, GREAT match here, although just a step behind the initial win at the PPV. Still though, great match.

Rating: A. This was indeed a great match but it makes me wonder where they’re going to go now that these two have fought so many times now. This is more about a back and forth insanity pitch rather than psychology or storytelling and that’s fine a lot of the time, especially in tags. This was very entertaining and the false finish was great for drama. These two teams have insane chemistry and this was no exception at all. Great match and well worth finding, although most of their matches are.

Unfortunately that’s about it for Sabin for nearly two years as he would tear his ACL twice in a row, putting him out for most of 2011, most of 2012 and part of 2013. Sabin would come back in May and win the X Title again, only to cash it in for a shot at Bully Ray and the World Heavyweight Title at Destination X 2013.

TNA World Title: Chris Sabin vs. Bully Ray

After the big match intros Ray gets right in Sabin’s face and talks trash but Sabin doesn’t blink. Ray goes to the corner but Sabin gets right in Ray’s face and says he’s going to win the title. Ray shoves him down and we’re ready to go. The champ grabs the leg to start as the fans are entirely behind Sabin. Chris fires off some kicks to the ribs and no sells a chop to the chest. Another chop sends Chris back but a third fires him up.

Ray offers him a fres kick to the ribs before chipping the tar off his skin. Sabin’s chest is BLOOD red but says bring it on. Now it’s Sabin firing off strikes to the face and chest before pounding away in the corner, only to have Ray go after the knee. Here are the Aces for backup as Sabin is laid out on the stage. Cue the Mafia who are somehow free as we take a break.

Back with Ray working over the leg and yelling at Rampage Jackson. It’s basically a lumberjack match now with the Mafia running interference when the Aces try to get involved. Ray hooks a leg lock and kicks at Sabin’s back while unhooking Sabin’s boot. A chop stops Sabin’s comeback bid and there goes the knee pad as well. Ray hits a Hennig neck snap on the leg and talks a lot of trash. Now he yells at the Mafia but stops to kick Sabin’s knee again.

Ray mocks Hogan’s hand to the ear which is always good for some heel heat. He pounds on the knee even more as the methodical offense continues. A chop to a downed Sabin makes him scream and Ray thinks he should take off the other knee brace. Ray whips him across the ring but Sabin collapses halfway there.

Instead he drills Sabin with a superplex for two but Chris fights back. He somehow gets up top for a missile dropkick but the referee goes gets bumped. Anderson tries to come in but the Mafia is there to stop the bikers. Ray got a hammer in there somehow but Sabin kicks him down. Everyone else is gone and Sabin blasts Ray in the head with the hammer for the pin and the title at 18:40.

Rating: B. This was all about the drama but the action was pretty solid as well. The ending really did surprise me which isn’t something that happens all that often anymore. There’s no way Sabin is going to be a long term champion due to his knee injuries but it’s still an awesome moment which is exactly what they were shooting for. It’s not like Ray was doing exceptional business or anything anyway. Ray being overconfident here was a fine story and it’s the perfect way to get the fans to go nuts. Well done stuff here.

Overall Sabin is a guy who has shown a lot of talent throughout his career. He’s a step above most of the other X-Division guys and holds the record for most X-Division Title reigns with (as of February 2014) eight. Sabin’s world title run didn’t last long, but it’s cool to see a guy work his way up the card and get to the top of the company like he did.

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Anarchy Rulz 2000
Date: October 1, 2000
Location: Roy Wilkins Auditorium, Saint Paul, Minnesota
Attendance: 4,600
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We it’s the final countdown here as we only have four shows left. The main event here is Lynn vs. Credible which is a big match for some reason I guess. It’s not like it matters much as their TV show’s last episode was five days after this. RVD gets his TV Title shot against Rhyno here in what should have been the big feud for the last 8 months or so but whatever. Let’s get to it.

Joel does his usual sex promo which is always funny and this is no exception. You could always tell he was having a blast doing those and he clearly is here too. We get the theme song with no real issue beforehand.

Christian York/Joey Matthews vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill

Matthews is more famous as Joey Mercury. Doring and Roadkill continue to be the insanely popular team that finally got the tag belts once the company was dying. Doring and Matthews start us off. Roadkill is ridiculously popular and gets a ton of cheers as he destroys York. He’s Amish in case I didn’t mention that. York counters a slingshot into a leg drop from the middle rope which was pretty sweet.

The better faces clear the ring but Doring goes for a tope but just misses completely and crashes into the concrete in a HORRIBLE looking bump. York and Matthews hit stereo suicide dives which is one of my favorite spots. Roadkill hits a SWEET double clothesline off the top. By that I mean he was standing on the rope, not the corner. That was awesome. This is an awesome high flying match.

Roadkill hits a huge powerbomb on York and the squash is on. A double team slam/top rope leg drop ends this. They hug it out afterwards and Simon Diamond and Swinger show up with chairs to take out the winners.

Rating: B-. Solid opener here that got the crowd into the show quite well. The tag titles meant nothing at all though as they were gone for so long and Nova/Chetti was the best team in the company for like the last year or so. This means nothing though as the belts aren’t even on the line on this show. Decent match but it’s not like it means anything.

Gertner eats Lucky Charms as his diet regimen. Someone has been training him apparently.

Cyrus comes out and bashes Gertner while using the I’VE GOT POP line that TNN had back then. They have a match tonight which should be one sided as Cyrus used to be a wrestler. Cyrus says to get him, Gertner has to beat a guy named EZ Money. Money was a no name guy that wound up in the very last month of WCW as Jason Jett. Gertner gets scared. Cue Spike for no apparent reason. Apparently he’s the commissioner now which has to be a parody of WWF or WCW. He says Money has to beat Kid Kash for no apparent reason, setting up this.

Kid Kash vs. EZ Money

Somehow the segment I just went through took about 8 minutes. To the shock of NO ONE, Kid Rock music gets no reaction in Minnesota. This should actually be fairly awesome. Kash could go, there’s no question about that. He had been pushed as a big time guy, actually beating Rhyno for the TV Title for two weeks. Money hits what would become his finisher in WCW (vertical suplex but he just lets him go so that Kash goes flying) for two.

The fans want tables and Money crashes onto all of his buddies. Kash hits an INSANE double jump front flip to the floor. If Kash could do nothing else, he could REALLY do big flips well. Gertner tries to get the crowd into things as Money hooks a reverse Boston Crabd and hooks Kash’s arms up with it in a PAINFUL looking move. Kash is just insane with these jumps and flips.

He hits a 360 tornado DDT for a long two as the fans are way into this. Kash hits what would be more commonly known as Whisper in the Wind and a bunch of other big flips and springboard moves for two. He was definitely exciting. Money Maker (double underhook piledriver) gets nothing due to interference.

The referee doesn’t notice three guys in the ring other than Kash apparently. None of this works though as Kash is too big of a star to lose to EZ Money. Money goes for a top rope powerbomb but reverses into a rana for the pin in a sloppy but difficult  move. Gertner vs. Cyrus now.

Rating: B-. This was supposed to be entertaining and it certainly was. Kash was fun to watch at times and this would certainly be in that list. Money was never anything all that special but he was ok here. This was just filler but for about 8 minutes it was a very solid cruiserweight style match.

The heels beat the tar out of Kash, Spike makes the save, Spike gets beaten up and Sandman comes in without music or anything to blow the roof off the place. Elektra tries to seduce him but gets beer poured on her chest and Gertner’s face shoved into them. Match finally.

Cyrus vs. Joel Gertner

Joel takes his shirt off and has Kamala paint on his chest. He goes for a People’s Elbow, even taking the neckbrace off. This is weird as Joel has no idea what he’s doing and Cyrus is a trained wrestler in a suit. It’s ALL Cyrus here of course as Gertner is pretty much dead. Pay no attention to Sandman out there. I’m sure he won’t do anything. Beer to Cyrus’ eyes and a rollup ends it for Gertner.

Rating: N/A. This was just for the ECW fans and it worked fine. It only took six months to get to this. They talk about how this is a victory over the Network, even though they would be canceled in 5 days anyway.

Beer bash follows.

Website plug and house show ads to fill time.

Da Baldies vs. Chilly Willy/Balls Mahoney

Angel and DeVito for the combination here. Willy was this guy that never meant anything but got a push near the end of the company due to no one else being around to get it. Joel comes back to commentary here and talks like a New Yorker in a funny bit. Mahoney has a fork and starts stabbing people with it. There’s a fork shot from the apron to the floor. Yeah this is going to end well.

This is the big blood/violence match of the night as Balls bites the cut and might have licked it a bit. There isn’t much here at all other than a DeVito moonsault in the crowd which mostly misses. Willy and Angel are more or less not involved here, leaving us with a one on one in the ring which isn’t that good. Angle runs back in and we get the staplegun to the eye. Three stereo chair shots to the faces end this.

Rating: D-. It’s your standard big brawl that means nothing at all but it got the fans into it so I guess we can pass it. A match with a staplegun to the eye though is just hard to get anything close to caring about or taking like pro wrestling as you probably guessed. I never got the appeal of these.

Lou E. Dangerously jumps Gertner. Joey goes after him and security drags him off. We go to the control room for no apparent reason where a guy is freaking now.

We go to Justin and Francine who we can’t hear at first. Oh he’s bashing Jerry Lynn. Credible is in a Favre jersey, which will NEVER mean anything in Minnesota. Nope not a thing.

Lynn says he’s tired of just being the best. He wants to be champion. If that was the case about two years ago, things would have gone differently for ECW.

Joey and Cyrus on commentary now. Is there a point to this after Cyrus got beat earlier?

Steve Corino vs. CW Anderson

The winner gets the title shot at the next PPV. I don’t remember either guy winning a PPV match recently but whatever. I think Corino is a face here but I’m not sure. Anderson is older than Corino? I wouldn’t have guessed that one. A long counter sequence starts us off and the fans are for Corino. They chop it out and amazingly Steve isn’t bleeding yet.

For a guy based around the idea of old school, Corino wasn’t very old school. As I type that Cyrus calls him out on it. Anderson is bleeding. Also isn’t Anderson supposed to be based on Arn Anderson? Therefore both of these guys are old school, and isn’t that completely against the idea of ECW in the first place? Corino takes a great chair shot and hey Steve is busted open. Even Joey points out how easily he bleeds.

Anderson goes for a Stunner on Corino’s arm as this really is old school based. They slug it out and Corino takes over for a bit. This has been pretty decent. Anderson gets crotches on a chair and they’re both down now. Corino goes Dusty Rhodes and I shake my head at him. Dusty, the guy that was supposed to be everything ECW was against, is getting tributes here. Simon and Swinger come out but Victory holds them off.

Anderson keeps trying to hit the spinebuster and never can get it. He sets up another chair in the middle of the ring but gets superkicked into it. He goes for the spinebuster AGAIN but gets caught in an Old School Expulsion (Reverse Twist of Fate and a great name for a move) on the chair for the pin and the title shot at November to Remember.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t bad but it was lacking that pop to get it to be something good. The chairs were used far too much in this for a match that is supposed to be about who is the best wrestler. Again I ask, who else have these two beaten? I certainly can’t remember them getting a major PPV win but I guess they’ve been hot on TV or house shows. Not bad but certainly lacking something.

Mikey, Tajiri and Sinister Minister (James Mitchell) read a book about witchcraft and demonology and it lights on fire. Riveting.

Rhyno wants RVD tonight. Good thing he has him. He says he’ll shove Fonzie’s whistle up his…yeah. Up Fonzie’s that is.

Tag Titles: FBI vs. Mikey Whipwreck/Tajiri

Once the titles hadn’t been in place for four months, Mikey and Tajiri won the belts in a tournament and held them for one day. The FBI, a former comedy team, held them for a few months before the final change at the next to last PPV. Nova and Chetti never got them of course. The challengers are in masks which is a weird look.

To my complete and utter shock, we start with a glorified comedy match. The Unholy Alliance (challengers) dominate and we get a Tarantula on Guido. Tony is tied up in the corner and gets a pair of baseball slides and a fireball. I continue to wonder why they called this wrestling after a certain point.

Can someone get these people a pizza before they all die? Tajiri slaps the turnbuckle to go with the clapping, but if he doesn’t speak English, how does he know it’s something he should clap to? Guido is busted open. They’re actually tagging in and out here which is rather odd. Unprettier is blocked by Mist but Sal pulls the referee out.

The Alliance is dominating here, meaning of course they’re going to lose. Yep there’s the belt into the ring from Sal. In a kind of creative ending, Tajiri takes Sal out with a moonsault but he lands on him and Tajiri can’t get out. A belt shot and an Unprettier keeps the titles on a completely uninteresting team for no apparent reason.

Rating: C+. This was ok and formula based but they could certainly have a better one. On TV where the titles changed hands, they apparently had a classic which I’ve heard a lot about but haven’t seen. This wasn’t bad at all but it was just kind of there. I still don’t get the appeal of the Italians as the champions though but they company was out of business in like four months anyway so it didn’t really matter.

More house show/website stuff.

TV Title: Rhyno vs. Rob Van Dam

The whole RVD never got beat and Rhyno is the bigger and better champion is decided here apparently while Justin Credible is main eventing another PPV. Rhyno charges while RVD is doing his spin kick to his name. We immediately go to the floor and I’m not sure if there was a bell yet. This is another of those big brawls that doesn’t really prove anything at all but the fans love them so they kept happening.

The lights are weird here as things are really dark. It’s likely the company just couldn’t afford it I guess. Van Dam hits an over the ropes dive to take out Rhyno. The idea here is RVD’s usual stuff isn’t working so he’s having to hit and run. The skateboard dropkick hits in the corner and the challenger is dominating. Cyrus calls the fans troglodytes. It must be a Canadian thing.

Rhyno hits a middle rope clothesline to kill RVD and take over. And it’s table time. You knew it was coming. Rhyno hits a chinlock as Alfonzo blows his whistle in time with the RVD chants. Five Star gets two and he’s stunned. The Gore hits and there’s the piledriver through the table. Fonzie hits Rhyno with a chair to set up the Van Daminator.

Van Terminator misses thanks to Justin interfering for no apparent reason and it hits Fonzie. Rhyno hits a running spinebuster through the table and then a piledriver on a chair ends it. I always hated that move for him as he’s a power guy using a move that Jerry Lawler used a lot. Never got that.

Rating: D+. You know for a big clash, this was pretty weak. RVD loses….why? Heyman wouldn’t put the spotlight on him because of guys like Justin? This wouldn’t have saved the company but it would have given them a better chance. This was a pretty weak match that didn’t feel special. It’s not really that good and while it’s entertaining, this should have been a main event somewhere instead of a throwaway match. But that would be logical booking which didn’t exist around this time so there we are.

Fonzie is more or less dead and takes forever to get taken out. There might have been a heel referee making a fast count too.

Did you know about the website and the house shows?

We’re at about 8 minutes of nothing at all happening at this point.

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn

Lynn is the home town guy here so the ending should be clear but it’s ECW so of course it’s not. Justin is still wearing the Favre jersey in Minnesota which is supposed to get heel heat. That doesn’t date the shot at all. Francine has a broken rib or something. Again, these two are in the main event and RVD isn’t. Lynn gets the hometown boy pop and it’s not bad.

We stall FOREVER as it’s been fifteen minutes plus since the last match ended and this one hasn’t even started yet. We start with some technical stuff and the fans think Francine is a crack w****. Joey isn’t sure if Justin can outwrestle Jerry. Great to see that kind of thought going into things here. Lynn hits a middle rope bulldog and we hit the mat again.

Justin goes into the corner and goes to the floor. It wouldn’t have been as bad if he hadn’t jumped over the ropes like that. The plancha mostly misses though and everyone is down. This is moving pretty slowly but there’s a TON of time left so they have time to set something up. I knew the in ring stuff was going on too long. We head to the floor to get away from this wrestling nonsense. Can’t have that now.

Lynn hits a DDT on the chair to get us back to even. This match feels like something that should be in the midcard rather than the main event. Justin gets on a mic and yells at Lynn which is cheap heat 101 and there’s nothing wrong with that. We get our like third DDT of the match on the chair. Mix it up a bit guys. And there are a pair of legdrops to fix that.

Francine makes a save so there’s no table for Credible. He can’t beat Jerry though and Lynn hits the Cradle Piledriver for two, killing the crowd. Credible gets his own piledriver for two and they’re back. The referee gets kicked in the face and another is here. He gets to two and then just stops. It’s the same referee from the RVD match so yeah he was cheating earlier. Belt shot gets two.

He’s counting so fast that Jerry is having to in essence kick at what would be a two in a normal match but is almost three here. Tombstone again gets two and it’s New Jack. Dang it. He was supposed to be the referee for no apparent reason and here he is. Cookie sheet (New Jack needs his own cooking show) for the referee but Credible knocks out Jack. He walks into a Cradle Tombstone to give Lynn the title though.

Rating: C+. Not bad here, but like I said this feels like a big midcard match and not a main event on a PPV. That’s not a good sign at all but at least Credible isn’t champion anymore. Again, RVD is never champion but Credible was for over five months. Yeah that’s intelligent. The match was good, but it was Jerry Lynn vs. Justin Credible for the world title. See a problem here?

The locker room empties and Lynn makes a big speech. Or at least he would if the mic works. Seriously?

A Limp Bizkit video to Rollin with highlights of the show ends it.

Overall Rating: C-. This didn’t suck. It’s certainly not a great show or anything like that, but this was certainly one of the better ECW shows. The problem is of course though that the company is dead at this point and this show really didn’t mean much of anything. The booking here is a bit odd but at the same time it came off as a fun show and there was some good stuff on here. If you’re incredibly bored and can actually find it, take a look.

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TNA Weekly PPV #13
Date: September 25, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

So after last week’s near disaster we’re back to Tennessee for more of TNA’s early nonsense. This week our main event is Jarrett vs. BG James to keep up the feud that no one is really interested in but it’s Jarrett’s company so there’s not much else you can do. Other than that we’ve got Lynn vs. Killings again, although this time for the X Title. Let’s get to it.

We open in the back with Siaki and Lynn brawling due to Sonny costing Lynn the world title last week.

Tenay and West run down the card.

Sonny Siaki vs. Jerry Lynn

Siaki is a more generic heel now and isn’t dressed like Elvis anymore. Red takes him out before Siaki can eve get to the ring with a senton followed by a shooting star off the apron. They head inside where Siaki comes back with a flapjack and neckbreaker for two, only to have Red snap off a pair of kicks. The Amazing one shrugs off some shoulders in the corner to hit a reverse tornado DDT for two more.

Red charges into a backdrop to send him to the floor though, allowing Siaki to drop him onto various metal things. Somewhat geeky manager Mortimer Plumtree is watching from the ramp. Back in and Siaki gets a few near falls off a belly to belly suplex before putting on a quick bearhug. Red fights out and seems to leave a leapfrog a bit short. Oh wait he landed on Siaki’s back on purpose to turn it into a sunset bomb for two. Red hits a kind of STO off the middle rope but misses some kind of a dive off the top, allowing Siaki to hit a kind of neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: C+. Good opener here with power vs. speed which almost never fails. Red was a flip machine which is fine, as Siaki played the heel role well at this point. I don’t remember Red being around much before this so seeing him was a nice surprise for the fans. He would be a big cult favorite for a long time.

Post match Jorge Estrada pops up on the stage and says before tonight is over, he’s getting Siaki’s Elvis gear. I’ve heard of worse reasons for a feud.

In the back, Ron Killings is beating up Amazing Red, shouting that he’s getting rid of the X-Division because it devalues the world title.

We recap America’s Most Wanted (Harris and Storm) winning the tag belts last week.

Tag Titles: James Storm/Chris Harris vs. Brian Lee/Ron Harris

This is a tables match and Harris/Storm aren’t known as AMW yet. For the sake of simplicity, only Ron Harris will be referred to as Harris here. The challengers jump them to start and only one person has to go through the table for the win. It’s Lee pounding on Chris to start but Chris comes back with a backdrop and clothesline to put both guys on the floor. Chris dives on Lee but gets caught, only to have Storm dive as well to take everyone down.

Another brawl breaks out as the tables haven’t been a factor yet. Harris pounds Chris down before it’s back to Lee for more slow pounding. Harris slides in a table and sets it up in the corner but Storm makes the save. After Storm is sent out, Harris powerslams Chris down instead of sending him through a table because Harris isn’t that bright. He does the same thing with a suplex and it’s off to Lee for some of the worst elbow drops you’ll ever see. He basically pulls his elbow up before hitting Chris’ chest.

Lee misses a top rope knee drop and Chris makes the tag off to Storm. Everything breaks down and Harris is knocked to the floor. Lee is sent to the apron but manages to clothesline both champions down. AMW fights up and knocks Lee off the apron through a table which I don’t remember being set up to retain.

Rating: D-. Not only did the match suck, but did we really need a gimmick to protect RON FREAKING HARRIS and Brian Lee? TNA is trying to push AMW as a big deal but they can’t even get a clean pin over these two lunkheads? Last week there was the mess with the ropes and now they have to have a tables match? Is Ron Harris’ spot THAT important? The match sucked too as the tables were barely a factor.

Post match Harris beats up the champions and puts Storm through a table. Security comes out to break it up until Don Harris, Ron’s twin brother, comes out for a staredown. The champions are a complete afterthought here, and we get the last thing we need here: ANOTHER guy named Harris.

In the parking lot, Bruce gets into a fight with a handicapped woman named Sara the Ticket Lady. Can we please end this character already?

Here’s Ron Killings to complain about how bad of a town “Trashville” is. Truth complains about rats and says the fans wouldn’t like them in their bed. That’s either a stupid line or a REALLY clever insider lingo joke but we’ll go with the former. He’s also not happy with the prejudice going on around here because he hasn’t seen Ricky Steamboat since he won the title. Truth doesn’t like not having merchandise or a private dressing room and as he’s starting to complain about the X-Division, here’s BG James.

James talks about a posse in his pants and their time back in the WWF where James stood up for Truth with the boys in the back. They go back and forth with stupid lines and the brawl is on with BG taking over. BG says that just unlike Demi Moore and Tom Cruise, he can handle the Truth. Next.

Brian Lawler and his girlfriend April argue about nothing in particular. At least I think they do as you can hear JB hyping up the card to the live crowd in the background. I mean he’s drowning out the interview.

AJ Styles vs. Low Ki

This is 2/3 falls and the winner gets a shot at the X Title. Feeling out process to start as AJ cranks on the arm before they head to the mat for a headlock by Styles. Back up and Low Ki escapes the wristlock and chops away, only to be taken down by an atomic drop. Low Ki sends him to the floor and hits a running flip attack off the apron to take over again. Back in and a hard kick to AJ’s back gets two and it’s back to the chops to the neck.

AJ crotches him on the top rope and hits a backbreaker/gutbuster combo to take over again. A nice dropkick in the corner gets two for Styles but Low Ki comes back with some chops. Off to a chinlock with AJ’s knee in Low Ki’s back for a few seconds before a double clothesline puts both guys down. Back up again and Low Ki hits what we would call the Disaster Kick for two before putting on the seated Dragon Sleeper for the submission and the first fall.

The second fall begins with Low Ki being sent throat first into the middle rope and clotheslined down for two. A delayed suplex puts Ki down and AJ pounds away. Styles hits a standing enziguri to put Low on the floor, but as he heads out, Low Ki kicks Styles in the head. AJ slams him down onto the ramp to break another Dragon Sleeper before we head back inside. A sunset bomb is countered by Low Ki but AJ keeps rolling into a sunset flip for the pin and the second fall.

AJ poses so Low Ki kicks him square in the jaw to send him to the floor. Once they’re both on the floor, AJ takes out Low’s knee before firing off kicks to the knee back inside. They both go up to the middle rope and after the Styles Clash is broken up, AJ comes off with a shin breaker to Low Ki. Off to a modified spinning toe hold but Low Ki rolls through it for two. Low Ki rolls through a powerbomb into a rana for two but can’t hook the Dragon Sleeper again. After a somewhat botched rollup attempt, AJ hits the Clash for the pin and the title shot next week.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but the lack of selling got annoying after awhile. I’m still not a fan of Low Ki at all as the kicking drives me crazy, but at least he threw in some ranas here to keep things fresher. AJ getting back into the X Title picture was a solid idea as he and Lynn had the best matches in the company so far. Not bad at all here.

Jarrett says he’ll eliminate Hall, Waltman and BG to get the title that he wants.

Elix Skipper/Brian Lawler vs. Scott Hall/Syxx-Pac

Skipper slips while trying to moonsault into the ring. Lawler makes sure to cover up his girlfriend’s body during the entrance. Pac and Skipper start things off with Elix getting a crotch chop for his efforts. Hall gives Elix one of the same, sending Skipper into such a rage that he misses a spin kick. A second attempt connects with Pac’s jaw and it’s off to Hall vs. Lawler. Hall throws the toothpick at Lawler, sending him out to the floor in a fit. Back in, more stalling, more yelling at the girlfriend.

Off to Skipper again before Lawler has any contact at all. At least he earned his paycheck tonight. Anyway Elix gets pounded down and chokeslammed for two before bailing to the floor. Some double teaming by the heels allows them to crotch Hall on the post and it’s off to Lawler for some biting and punching. A suplex puts Hall down and it’s off to Skipper for a top rope ax handle.

Hall puts Skipper down with a belly to back suplex but let’s look at Lawler yelling at Don West for talking to April. Off to Syxx who cleans house. An X-Factor gets two on Skipper with Lawler making the save. Everything breaks down and Pac misses the Bronco Buster on Skipper. Lawler and Hall fight as Elix goes up top, only to dive into the X-Factor for the pin.

Rating: D. These matches with the big stars are getting to be insufferable. They’re sloppy, by the book and really dull all the way throughout. I have no idea why Elix Skipper was involved in the match here but at least he was someone young and different from the regular “stars”. Nothing to see here at all.

Post match Jarrett runs out to beat down Hall and Pac.

AJ implies that he wants a ladder match for the title.

Bruce comes out and calls himself the only woman in TNA. Sara the Ticket Lady comes out and yells and that’s about it.

Kid Kash vs. Jorge Estrada

Feeling out process to start with Estrada taking over with an armdrag. Mortimer Plumtree is watching again as Jorge headscissors Kash down and clotheslines him to the floor. Jorge leaves a suicide dive WAY short and lands on his head in a SICK crash. Back in and Kash takes over with a double springboard backsplash for two back inside. Estrada thankfully doesn’t have a broken neck and comes back with a hiptoss and a standing shooting star for two.

Jorge goes up but Kash shoves the referee into the ropes to crotch him down. A top rope rana brings Estrada down but Kash charges into an elbow in the corner. Kash pokes him in the eye and hits a DDT for two, only to have his rana countered into a powerbomb for two for Jorge. Estrada busts out the TCB (Taking Care of Business), a big flippy dive for the pin.

Rating: C. Just a battle of the flips here which is about what you would expect from a show like this. Estrada isn’t bad and Kash is Kash so the match was entertaining but the lack of selling continues. This is another match which was here to give us the post match stuff because we need our Elvis developments.

Estrada demands his suit back and we see Siaki burning it in a barrel.

We recap Siaki costing Lynn the world title last week.

X-Division Title: Ron Killings vs. Jerry Lynn

This is a lumberjack match and all of the lumberjacks are X-Division guys. Killings tries to bail to the floor early but Low Ki sends him back inside. Back in and Lynn pounds away with a bunch of right hands before bulldogging Truth down for two. Truth bails to the floor again for the same result, only this time he manages a top rope shoulder to take over. Now it’s Jerry getting thrown to the floor for a stomping by Kash. AJ, the only X guy not at ringside, is on the stage with a ladder.

Back in and the challenger gets two off a backbreaker and the same from a powerslam. That works so well that Truth hits another one before putting on a front facelock with his feet on the ropes. Lynn comes back with a reverse DDT and a powerbomb for two more but Truth stops him cold with a low blow. Low Ki is annoyed and yells at Killings, so Jerry rams them together and hits a TKO to retain the title.

Rating: C-. So let me make sure I’ve got this straight. Truth is feuding with the X-Division, so his first match in the feud is against the champion. He loses there, so now he goes down the division to fight lower level talent, all while being the World Champion? Does this sound as stupid to anyone else but me? The match wasn’t great but it was better than last week’s mess.

West hypes up the show for next week.

BG James vs. Jeff Jarrett

Main event time. BG says he’s Jeff’s second mountain and he can’t be negotiated. BG shoulders him down to start and pounds away with right hands. The shaky knee gets two but Jeff comes back with an enziguri to take over. Roadie fires off the juke and jive as we hear about them being together in the WWF back in 95. Out to the floor for some chair shots from James to knock Jeff into the crowd.

Jarrett gets in some chair shots of his own to take over and we go back to ringside. Jeff slams him into the announce table and pounds on the back and face with the chair some more. Back inside we go for the running crotch again in 619 position and a sleeper by Jeff. James fights up after two arm drops and puts on a sleeper of his own, only to be suplexed down by Jarrett.

Both guys are down now which is likely a good thing given the ample gut that Road Dogg has on him at the moment. Back up and James takes over with right hands but the referee takes a shot to the head. Jeff wedges a chair between the ropes but goes face first into it instead, giving James two. Elix Skipper and Brian Lawler come out to help Jarrett but Jeff nails Lawler by mistake, giving BG two more. The referee gets rid of the cronies so Jeff can hit James with a chair for a near fall. BG hits the anal rape pumphandle for two, only to have Skipper and Lawler run in for a DQ.

Rating: D. Could this have been any more overbooked? At the end of the day this BG James/Jarrett/Lawler stuff is completely uninteresting and I’m still not sure why they’re even fighting. The match was your standard Attitude Era brawl and the match was nothing of note. The X Title match really should have gone on last here.

Post match Hall and Syxx-Pac come out for the big brawl but Truth evens the odds and Jarrett and company stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. These shows are all suffering from the same problems: the overbooking of the main event and the lack of anyone caring about people like Lawler and BG James. Now I will give them this: they’re logically setting up feuds and stories with what looks like a six man tag set up for next week. The X Title stuff is WAY better than anything else but it’s not enough to get you through a two hour show.

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TNA Weekly PPV #16
Date: October 9, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

Things are starting to pick up around here and we have a new story with the guy in white attacking Killings. If my memory is correct, that will start a story that lasts for months to come. Other than that tonight we have Jerry Lynn vs. AJ Styles for the X Title in a ladder match for the second time in two weeks. Also if we’re lucky, we might get more Brian Lawler! Oh and Chris Rock is here for some reason. Let’s get to it.

West and Tenay hype up the show.

We look at the man in white attacking Killings last week.

It’s supposed to be time for the opening match but here’s Ron Killings instead. Truth does some basic “your sports teams suck” stuff so the fans tell him he’s overrated. He says the man in white is the mystery partner in a six man tag later tonight and that’s not cool with the champ. Don West of all people cuts him off, saying that Truth isn’t telling the truth. It was ok when Killings came in last week to jump BG and Syxx-Pac but it’s not cool when someone jumps Killings?

We get a clip from the end of last week’s show and Killings says West just screwed up. Compared to him, West is just a pebble on the beach so Truth wants Syxx-Pac, James or the man in white. Cue James and Syxx-Pac with the former talking about drinking Coronas and how we don’t live in a perfect world.

Curt Hennig walks out, apparently the mystery partner for later tonight. Hennig says he doesn’t like the Truth and Pac says they’re going to do to Truth what his mama should have done years ago. The three come to the ring and here are Jarrett and Lawler for the big brawl. Our heroes clean house and the heels retreat. BG wants the match right now so here’s a referee.

Curt Hennig/BG James/Syxx-Pac vs. Jeff Jarrett/Brian Lawler/Ron Killings

BG and Jarrett get things going but Curt gets the tag before there’s any contact. Mike is immediately running through Curt’s career resume which is one of his trademarks anymore. No contact until about a minute in when Curt hits a single right hand to knock Jeff into the corner. Hennig runs Jeff over and chops Jarrett’s partners down for fun. Back in and Jeff fires off right hands of his own followed by a Hennig neck snap to Hennig, earning him a right hand for gimmick infringement.

Jeff is sent to the floor again as Lawler is freaking out. Back in and it’s Lawler vs. Syxx-Pac with Brian missing a cross body but coming back with a powerslam. Off to the world champion who gets punched in the face by BG but nips back up, only to walk into the big right hand to put Truth back down. Back up and Truth does the splits to avoid a clothesline and hits the ax kick for two. Jarrett comes back in but misses his running crotch attack on the ropes, only to have Truth come back in to keep control.

Lawler gets the tag and drops BG with a neckbreaker for two and it’s back to Jarrett again. Jeff walks into a clothesline and it’s hot tag to Syxx-Pac. Kicks abound but the Bronco Buster hits a boot between the legs as Pac plays some Ricky Morton. Truth powerslams him down and it’s back to Jarrett with a suplex for two. Really basic stuff at the moment and it’s not exactly thrilling. Back to Lawler for a chinlock but Pac fights up with something resembling a Sky High.

The real hot tag (minus the heat) brings in Hennig and house is cleaned. BG chases Jarrett up the ramp with a chair as Lawler hits Hennig low to put him down. A guillotine legdrop gets two as Pac makes the save and gets two of his own on Truth with the X-Factor. Lawler takes out the referee and here’s the man in white, now with Mr. Wrestling III written on the back of his jacket to powerbomb Truth down. The PerfectPlex is enough to pin Truth.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t the worst match in the world and it definitely picked up near the end, but this was a bad sign for the main event picture. At the end of the day, these guys aren’t moving well at all and the matches range from passable at best to boring and sluggish at worst. This wasn’t horrible but at nearly fifteen minutes it went on WAY too long.

BG James is out cold in the back with a pipe next to him.

We look back at the X-Division Title match last week with Jerry Lynn getting “cheated” out of the title, only to have it handed back to him in a decision that screwed over the heel.

Here’s X Champion Jerry Lynn with something to say. He challenges Sonny Siaki, the man that cost him the title last week, to a match on the next show. Cue Sonny who says let’s do it right now. Jerry charges up the ramp but gets thrown off the stage, getting his leg caught in the barricade. Tenay talks about Jerry’s history of knee injuries and we hear Lynn say “not again.” We do the stretcher job as this eats up a few minutes.

Syxx-Pac apologizes to Low Ki over insulting him last week. Low Ki is about to respond but AJ Styles comes in to say that he’s beaten Low Ki four times so he should be Syxx-Pac’s favorite wrestler. AJ leaves and Low Ki and Syxx-Pac agree that Styles is a jerk.

Tag Titles: Spanish Announce Team vs. America’s Most Wanted

Storm starts with Jose and they flip around a bit until James hooks a cross armbreaker of all things. Jose comes back with a dropkick to the knee and something resembling an inverted figure four, only to have Storm grab a nearby rope. Storm comes back with a hurricanrana but Joel comes in with a missile dropkick, only to be speared down by Harris. Jose goes up but gets shoved down onto Joel onto the floor. Harris follows up the shove with a BIG plancha to take both Maximos (the SAT if that wasn’t clear) out.

Back in and AMW double teams Jose, only to have Joel crotch Storm to break up something off the top. A moonsault/neckbreaker combo (think the Motor City Machine Guns’ Skull and Bones but with a moonsault) gets two on Storm but James comes back with a freaky spin into a Downward Spiral for two. Off to Harris for a big tilt-a-whirl powerslam, good for two on Jose. Things settle down a bit and Jose gets two of his own off a tornado DDT.

Joel powerslams Harris and everything breaks down with a moonsault getting two on Storm. James comes back with a big old superkick for a delayed two but a Maximos double team takes the Cowboy down. A guillotine legdrop gets two for Joel but he dives into the Catatonic, only to have Jose break up the pin. The SAT loads up the Spanish Fly but Storm makes the save, setting up an overly complicated double powerbomb into a whip Rock Bottom for the pin to retain the belts.

Rating: B-. This got a bit too sloppy at the end but I’ll take whatever I can get for tag team wrestling int his company at the moment. As has been the case for weeks now, AMW is the only good team around and they’re just looking for some decent opponents. The Maximos aren’t great but they’re better than anyone else AMW has gotten to face so far as champions.

Here’s Chris Rock for the first big celebrity appearance for the company. He says TNA is the best wrestling in the world and invites anyone to come prove it’s not fake….and that’s it. Literally he was in the ring for 30 seconds.

Kid Kash vs. Ace Steel vs. Low Ki vs. Tony Mamaluke

This is a 15 minute iron man match for no reason whatsoever. Steel is most famous for training CM Punk and Colt Cabana and comes out to what would become Abyss’ music. During the entrances, we see a sign saying Totally Nuke Al-Qaeda for what has to be the tenth time tonight, but it’s been in various different places. It’s either a group of fans or a plant by the company for whatever reason. Mortimer Plumtree comes out to do commentary.

We start with the usual multi-man spots where it’s so clear they’re working together that it takes away almost all of the illusion from the match. Low Ki pounds on Kash in the corner as the other two fight in the middle of the ring. The pairings trade off as armdrags abound, setting up a standoff. Mamaluke dropkicks down Low Ki and Steel followed by a double abdominal stretch, only to have Kash springboard in to break it up.

Kash snaps off some hurricanranas before nearly breaking Steel’s neck on a third. Low Ki and Steel head to the floor where Kash hits a huge dive to take both guys out. Naturally Mamaluke dives onto the three of them, putting everyone down on the floor. In a stupid looking move, Kash and Low Ki get up on opposite sides of the apron and springboard at each other for a double clothesline. Steel and Mamaluke come in with legdrops for a double pin, giving them a fall each.

The fans are behind Low Ki as Ace pounds him in the corner as the match slows way down. We have under eight minutes to go as Kash hits a fisherman’s buster on Mamaluke for a pin, leaving Low Ki as the only person with no pins. Mamaluke and Kash head to the floor as Low Ki’s springboard is almost caught in a fireman’s carry, only to roll down into an armbar for a submission for Low Ki, giving us a fourway http://buysoma.net tie. I guess we’re supposed to assume Mike meant pins and submissions when he said you could only win by pin.

Kash slams Mamaluke off the announce table, bouncing him off his head. Low Ki hurts his ankle on a springboard so Steel spins his leg around to work on the leg even more. Five minutes left now as Tony and Kash fight on the floor. Low Ki gets a rollup for two on Steel with 4:20 to go. A Kash powerbomb gets two on Tony with four minutes even left. Everyone knocks everyone else down for the next minute. Steel breaks up a Kash Boston crab and we have two minutes left.

Everyone is moving slowly now so this isn’t exactly thrilling. Kash and Ki chop it out on the floor but head back in with 1:00 left. Steel hits a running corner dropkick on Ki with 30 seconds to go. Mamaluke hooks a Russian legsweep off the apron and into the barricade to take out Kash. We’ve got 15 seconds left as Ki hooks his leg choke on the ropes followed by the spinning springboard enziguri, but Steel falls into the ropes. Ki pulls him back into the ring with two seconds left. Ki grabs a rollup but Plumtree trips him up to give Steel a pin, even though the bell ring before the referee was even on the mat.

Rating: D. Matches like these are the kind of indy nonsense that gets on people’s nerves. I have zero idea what the point was in making this an iron man match other than it sounded good on paper. Surviving a fifteen minute match doesn’t prove you’re tough as anyone should be able to last that long. There was no flow, no story, and a botched ending on top of that. Terribly booked match, but I’m sure I just don’t get REAL wrestling, right?

Here’s NASCAR driver Hermie Sadler because there’s a TNA car in the minor league race. He tries to get us to care about a race but here’s Miss TNA Bruce to interrupt. Bruce makes jokes about Hermie driving a car and demands that he pick a career already. This brings out Jeff Jarrett to insult Sadler and demand a bigger name to drive the TNA car. Sadler makes fun of Jeff for not having any titles but says he respects Ron Killings. He asks if Bruce is a man or a woman and a brawl is on, drawing in Jarrett and BG James for the save. Horribly stupid segment and no one cares about Sadler.

Ron Harris/Sonny Siaki vs. Chris Michaels/Rick Michaels

GET DIFFERENT LAST NAMES ALREADY! This is a #1 contender match between two teams that haven’t teamed together in the company before. Harris and Siaki jump the Michaels to start and take it to the floor. We start with Rick vs. Siaki as Tenay tries to get us to care about Rick’s accomplishments in the indys. Off to Chris vs. Ron with Harris pounding away in the corner. We’re definitely in squash territory here. Chris gets in some armdrags to bring in Rick, only to be thrown down by Ron.

Back to Siaki as this slow destruction continues. Rick comes back with a quick neckbreaker before it’s back to Chris, only to have Harris send him into the barricade. Siaki pounds on Chris a bit more inside but Rick gets the ice cold tag to clean a bit of the house. Sonny hits something resembling a Samoan drop on Chris but Harris breaks up the pin. He tells Siaki to hold Michaels up, only to kick Sonny in the face by mistake, giving Chris the fluke pin.

Rating: F. We just sat through seven and a half minutes for a screwy ending with one team we’ve never seen before beating another team we’ve never seen before. West tries to call this the biggest upset ever in TNA, but it makes the winners 1-0 and the losers 0-1. How is that an upset? On top of that, we’re now in week three of an angle for RON HARRIS. Was there NO ONE ELSE on the roster that could have done this story???

Post match Ron and Sonny slug it out until Don Harris makes the save and beats up Sonny. Just get to the Harris Brother reunion so no one can care again.

Bill Behrens comes out to say that Jerry Lynn can’t wrestle, so the title is vacated. However, due to legal requirements, there will be a title match so it’s Ace Steel vs. AJ Styles for the title in a ladder match instead. Jerry will get a title match with rules of his choosing upon returning. Low Ki comes out to cry foul on the Plumtree interference.

Plumtree and Steel come out to insult Ki and dear goodness I do not care. Plumtree mentions Low Ki trying to beat up Tammy Sytch, which is a reference to a recent indy show that maybe .3% of the audience will have heard of. Ki calls Plumtree a nerd and here’s southern hick Bob Armstrong because there aren’t enough freaking people in this segment. Armstrong makes Ace and Ki for the spot in the title match.

Low Ki vs. Ace Steel

Steel goes right for Ki’s knee like anyone would as this looks more like a UFC fight than a wrestling match. Note that I didn’t say a good UFC fight but a UFC fight nonetheless. Plumtree gets in a chair shot to the bad leg behind the referee’s back to send him to the floor. Armstrong and Behrens say the match is over and Ki wins by DQ.

Armstrong says the X-Division has been a mess since the beginning (not really but thanks for burying the most popular thing you have) so anyone in the X-Division can come out here and be in the ladder match for the title. Well why in the world not.

X-Division Title: Ace Steel vs. Jose Maximo vs. Joel Maximo vs. AJ Styles vs. Kid Kash vs. Tony Mamaluke

The Maximos pull out ladders as AJ suplexes Mamaluke. Everyone goes to the floor for a big springboard shooting star from Styles. Back in and AJ hits the moonsault into the inverted DDT on Joel before taking Jose down as well. There’s a brainbuster to Kash before AJ sends Steel into the barricade. The ladders are finally brought into the ring but Jose dropkicks Mamaluke off the ladder for the save.

Everyone is hit with or sent into a ladder until it’s down to Steel hanging AJ in a tree of woe on a ladder for a baseball slide. Kash rides a ladder down onto AJ as the Maximos are back inside. There’s no flow or anything to this so expect a bunch of random spots for the rest of the match. Joel gets crushed between two ladders in the corner and Styles gets suplexed down by Mamaluke. Kash superplexes Steel down and goes up the ladder, only to be shoved down with ease.

After more brawling, Kash knocks Tony off the ladder but tries a moonsault onto Steel and Jose instead of grabbing the title. Well he never all that bright. AJ rams his shoulder into the ladder to knock it to the floor but completely misses the Maximos he was aiming at. Tony is holding his arm and is likely injured. Styles and Kash both set up ladders and go up, only to be joined by the Maximos.

The Spanish Fly is blocked by Kash so he “hits” a “tornado DDT” on Jose, meaning he grabbed him and kind of fell backwards, driving the top of Jose’s head into the mat. Mamaluke goes up and the ladders collapse before Kash can powerbomb him down. AJ goes up and gets shoved right into the referee who wasn’t needed anyway. Kash dives off the top onto Joel for no apparent reason as Jose and Styles fight on the ladder. AJ rides the ladder down onto Jose who was crushed under both AJ and the ladder.

Kash dropkicks the ladder to take out Mamaluke and Steel, putting everybody down. Joel goes up with Kash and hits a C4 off the ladder followed by a sunset bomb from Styles to Ace, leaving Tony on top. Tony can’t quite hit a tornado DDT on Styles as this mess needs to end. Steel and Joel are fighting on the floor and AJ tosses Mamaluke out to join him. Styles superplexes Kash down and goes up, but here’s freaking Syxx-Pac to suplex him down, climb up and take the title.

Rating: C-. It doesn’t matter. That’s the title of this entire show: it doesn’t matter. These six guys were all working hard, but the match was such a mess and WAY too dangerous to make it work. On top of that, it doesn’t matter though because Syxx-Pac gets to come in and win the title in 30 seconds. That’s what WWE would do with Hornswoggle and it was just as stupid. Horrible way to end things here.

Next week, you guessed it: LADDER MATCH!

Overall Rating: D-. Again, IT DOESN’T MATTER. That iron man match? Didn’t matter. The six guys killing themselves for fifteen minutes? Didn’t matter. The Michaels guys winning? Didn’t matter, as the focus is still on Ron Harris. This was like the brainchild of one of those fans on the internet that drives you crazy and has no idea how wrestling actually works. We had meaningless gimmicks added to matches, stories being ignored for the sake of throwing everyone into one match, and a big SWERVE at the end because why not. This was awful with very little to remember at all. Horrid show.

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TNA Weekly PPV #15
Date: October 2, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay

We’re back here after a long absence on my part for two more of these things. The main stories tonight are AJ getting an X Division Title shot and what looks to be a tag match between Sean Waltman/BG James/Scott Hall vs. Brian Lawler/Jeff Jarrett/Elix Skipper. The company still isn’t all that interesting but maybe things will pick up soon. Let’s get to it.

After Tenay runs down the card to start, here are BG James and Syxx-Pac to open things up. BG is here tonight to take care of business but he wants to talk some smack first. They’ve done that before though, but it’s a new day here in TNA. Gay jokes abound and BG wants to fight Jarrett and Elix Skipper right now. James rhymes a lot and says that if Ron Killings is the future of wrestling, the future is grim. Killings may be the future, but BG and Syxx are the past and present.

Waltman says Low Ki isn’t ready for a match against Killings tonight because it should go to one of them. Both BG and Syxx want Killings, more commonly known as the Suntan Superman. BG says they’re white Kryptonite and says the theme from Cops, asking what Killings is going to do when they come for him. Here’s Killings (world champion) to say he thinks the two of them are crazy. Truth says they want the title and the fans chant overrated. Killings makes racial references to set Pac off, who wants a fight right now.

This brings out Jeff Jarrett who wants to know where Scott Hall is for the six man tag tonight. BG says Hall isn’t here but Jarrett has no business complaining about anyone. Jeff says we’ll make the six man a handicap match, allowing Skipper and Lawler to come in through the crowd for the beatdown. The good guys clear the ring and stand tall in just a few seconds though.

Tenay talks about new cable providers carrying TNA.

The announcers run down the card for a few moments.

Amazing Red vs. Shark Boy

The fans are behind Sharky as we get a technical sequence to start. Elix Skipper jumps in on commentary, ranting about being taken out of the main event. The main event is now BG/Syxx-Pac vs. Jarrett/Lawler. Shark Boy works on the leg for a bit and gets two off a neckbreaker. Mortimer Plumtree, generic corporate manager, is watching from the stage. A one knee Codebreaker puts Red down and a missile dropkick is good for two. In a surprising power display, Shark Boy gorilla presses Red out to the floor.

Shark Boy dives onto him to keep the crowd fired up as Skipper keeps ranting about giving someone a beatdown. Red can’t quite avoid a second dive but a third one sends Sharky into the announce table to give Red control. Back in and Red hits a BIG flip dive, nearly missing Shark Boy at the same time.

Both guys head back inside with Shark Boy hitting a middle rope Jackhammer of all things for two. Red comes right back with a middle rope neckbreaker for two of his own. A nice Dead Sea Drop (Diamond Dust) gets a delayed two on Red but a second attempt is countered into a reverse DDT. Red goes up for a quick twisting moonsault and a standing shooting star for the pin.

Rating: C. Take two guys and let them fly around for awhile. Red may fly higher, but he was definitely the sloppier of the two. Shark Boy is much better in the ring than he was given credit for as he’s mainly known as a gimmick guy. The fans were into it though and that’s the point of an opener.

Post match Skipper comes in and lays Red out. Security is beaten up too.

Video on Ron Killings vs. Jerry Lynn from last week, setting up Killings’ war with the X-Division.

Low Ki wants a piece of Syxx-Pac, even though he has a world title match tonight. He’s ready for Killings and is taking the title tonight. Heaven help us if he does.

We’re supposed to have a #1 contenders match for the tag titles but here’s Ron Killings to interrupt. He wants to know what Low Ki is smoking and thinks there’s a conspiracy. Truth demands the match right now so here’s the challenger.

NWA World Title: Low Ki vs. Ron Killings

Killings throws him around to start but Low Ki takes out the leg to send Truth to the floor. Low Ki follows him out but gets sent into the barricade over and over. Ki comes back with a kick and climbs onto the barricade, only to be kicked in the jaw, sending him into the crowd. They fight up to the stage with Low Ki sending Truth into the cages by the entrance. Truth whips him into the side of the ramp and crushes Low Ki with an anvil case to take over.

We head back into the ring with Truth getting a pair of two counts and stomping Low Ki down into the corner. An ax kick puts Low Ki down for two as Plumtree is watching again. Truth cranks on the arms but but Low Ki comes back with something like a Pele kick. The comeback doesn’t work though as Truth pounds him down in the corner again. Another kick to the face puts Truth down again for two as the fans are entirely behind the bald guy.

Low Ki fires off more kicks but walks into something like a Downward Spiral before it’s back to a double armbar. This hasn’t been all that interesting so far. A powerslam puts Low Ki down for two but Truth misses a 450 to give Low Ki an opening. Low Ki hits a spinning springboard kick to the face but can’t make a cover. A running forearm gets two on Truth and it’s off to a Dragon Sleeper on the ropes but it only lasts a few seconds.

Back up and Truth takes it to the corner for a kneeling Muscle Buster, good for two. Low Ki blocks a Stunner and hooks the Dragon Sleeper again, only to have Truth fight out a few seconds later. Truth goes up but gets caught by an enziguri, crotching him on the top. Low Ki goes up for a superplex but gets caught in a sitout front superplex to retain the title.

Rating: C. This picked up a good bit at the end but I couldn’t get into it for the most part. Truth is just kind of there at the moment as champion and the war against the X-Division isn’t doing much for me. Low Ki isn’t a guy I care for most of the time and the title never felt like it was in jeopardy here.

Post match a guy dressed all in white comes in and beats down Truth.

Tenay hypes NWA house shows.

Spanish Announce Team vs. Flying Elvises

The SAT’s are Joel and Jose Maximo and the Elvises are Jimmy Yang and Jorge Estrada. The winners of this get a tag title shot in a week. Joel takes Estrada down and hits a dropkick to the side of the head for two. Estrada comes back with something resembling a Stunner for two and it’s off to Yang. Both Maximos come in and get caught by spinwheel kicks to keep the Elvises in control. Joel gets in a shot to the face and makes the tag off to Jose who gets two off a suplex.

Back to Estrada who takes over on Jose as Plumtree is watching yet again. The Maximos hit a double dropkick for two on the now legal Yang as this match is falling apart. Joel and Jose hit a bad looking sequence with a dropkick each into a sitout powerbomb by Jose for two. Yang comes back with a great looking moonsault press for two as Sonny Siaki is watching from the ramp as well.

Yang enziguris Jose down and it’s hot tag to Estrada who suplexes Joel down and gets two off a Lionsault. Jorge misses a guillotine legdrop and everything breaks down. Yang clotheslines Jose into a sunset flip for two and here’s Siaki on the apron for a tag. Jorge goes to tag him but Siaki drops to the floor, allowing the Maximos to hit a Doomsday DDT for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: D. This was a huge mess and not a good sign for either team. It was a bad looking spotfest with no flow to it whatsoever, but that’s no excuse for the match to be bad. Red and Shark Boy had the same kind of match to open the show but it was light years better than this mess.

Jerry Lynn jumps Siaki in the back for costing him the world title shot. AJ Styles comes in to help Siaki in a double team. They throw Lynn into an anvil case and AJ dances on top of it. It’s as disturbing as it sounds.

Sonny Siaki vs. David Young

Young is most famous for losing something like 100 straight matches. Siaki scores with right hands but gets slammed down and backdropped for his troubles. Sonny bails to the floor for a bit, only to have his face slammed into the apron. Young, a decent sized guy, hits an Asai Moonsault followed by a hurricanrana back inside for two. Siaki comes back with something resembling a slam into a Diamond Cutter for two to take over as the match slows down.

Young is tied up in the Tree of Woe for a running shoulder to the ribs for two as Siaki is in control. David grabs a quick northern lights suplex for two but Sonny takes him right back down with a standing flip legdrop for two of his own. Sonny suplexes him into the corner for two but Young comes back with a spinebuster, apparently his finisher, for no cover. Instead David goes up and misses a moonsault, allowing Siaki to hit the Money Clip (reverse Cross Rhodes) for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing special here as Siaki is much better on the mic instead of in the ring. The problem is without the Elvis bit, Siaki is really just a generic heel with nothing all that special in the ring. Young was a guy with a look and some nice high spots but he doesn’t have that it factor that makes you want to watch him. Nothing match but it wasn’t bad.

We get a far too dramatic video on last week’s tag title tables match.

Ron Harris and his new partner Ashley Hudson, an Aussie that I’ve never heard of before, say they’ll win the titles. Ron tells his brother Don to remember their pact.

Tag Titles: America’s Most Wanted vs. Ron Harris/Ashley Hudson

Oh jeez Storm has guns now. Hudson starts with Storm in a slap off followed by a chase scene around the ring. Back in and Storm slaps Hudson in the back of the head before it’s off to Chris Harris for some double teaming. We get Harris vs. Harris, only to have Storm hit a missile dropkick on Ron followed by a high cross body from Chris for two. Chris spears the legal Hudson down before bringing Storm back in to pound away in the corner.

Hudson finally comes back with a clothesline to bring in Ron for some corner stomping. Some running clotheslines have Storm in trouble before it’s back to Hudson for some choking. Back to Ron for a big boot and a side slam but Storm avoids a charge in the corner. Hot tag brings in Chris as everything breaks down. The Catatonic (spin out Rock Bottom) gets two on Hudson but Ron accidentally kicks Hudson down, giving Storm the pin.

Rating: D. This was long and dull. I don’t know what the appeal of Ron Harris and whatever partner of the week he has is, but just get us to the Harris Brothers reunion so no one can care about it and we can move on. AMW is good but they’re the only decent team in the tag division and it’s really showing.

Post match Ron beats Hudson and Chris Harris down. Don Harris comes out to break up the fight and stares his brother down before punching him in the face to stop Ron.

Jerry Lynn is banged up.

X-Division Title: Jerry Lynn vs. AJ Styles

Jerry is defending and this is a ladder match. AJ goes right for the bad neck with forearms and a snap across the top rope to take over. Jerry comes back with a dropkick but is easily taken down by a neckbreaker. It’s ladder time with AJ laying Jerry on top of the steel for a slingshot hilo. The ladder is catapulted into Jerry’s face but AJ wants a chair instead of the title. Jerry dropkicks him off the apron before baseball sliding the ladder into AJ’s face for good measure.

Lynn’s climb for the belt is quickly stopped so he shoves the ladder straight into AJ’s head to put him down. The ladder is set up in the corner but AJ counters a whip to send Jerry into the steel. Jerry blocks a tornado DDT off the ladder but AJ slams him down and climbs the ladder, only to get taken down by a sunset bomb. A clothesline puts AJ down as the Plumtree stuff continues. AJ comes back with a Death Valley Driver into the ladder and a springboard legdrop to crush the bad neck even more.

Styles goes up but Jerry easily pulls him back down as Sonny Siaki comes back down to ringside. The distraction lets AJ break up a climb attempt and both guys are down again. AJ dropkicks Jerry down off the ladder and the fans are getting into this again. Styles bridges the ladder between the ring and the barricade but Lynn escapes a slam and suplexes AJ onto the ladder.

Back inside again and Jerry goes up, only to have AJ shove the ladder over, sending Jerry into the referee. They fight over a chair until Jerry sweeps AJ’s leg out and hits a Fameasser onto the chair. AJ is busted open and Lynn pounds at the cut with a violence you don’t often see from him. Jerry still can’t get the title down though as AJ tries a powerbomb, only to have the champion counter into a hurricanrana.

Both guys slowly climb up and they slug it out on top with Lynn hitting something like a suplex to take both guys down. Jerry goes up again but this time he catches a diving AJ with a midair clothesline. Lynn climbs the corner but has to dive onto Siaki instead of staying on Styles. AJ hits a huge springboard dive to take Jerry out, landing almost entirely on Lynn’s neck. AJ goes up and pulls down the title to win.

Rating: B. Another good match between these guys but they need to move on to someone else. They’re on the verge of losing their heat as the people are going to start getting bored. At the end of the day, you can only have good matches like this for so long before the quality starts to slip. Still though, good stuff and it opens a new feud with Siaki for Jerry.

Post match Lynn goes for Siaki but AJ and Sonny beat him down. The rest of the X-Division makes the save. Bob Armstrong comes out to say that Jerry gets the title back because of the interference. There’s going to be another ladder match with AJ getting yet another shot. That’s totally bogus as there are no DQ’s in ladder matches, meaning AJ broke no rules.

Don West hypes up next week’s show. Chris Rock will be here next week filming parts of Head of State.

Jeff Jarrett/Brian Lawler vs. Syxx-Pac/BG James

Before the match BG does Scott Hall’s hey yo to a modest reaction at best. BG rambles about payback and Pac says he’s going to take Lawler’s woman but if Lawler wins, he can watch Pac and the girlfriend. After that nonsense, it’s time for the main event that almost no one cares about. Naturally it’s a huge brawl before anyone gets in the ring with people being rammed into various objects.

We finally start with Pac vs. Jarrett in the ring and there’s even a referee now. Jarrett takes over with a nice dropkick but Pac comes back with a spinwheel kick to the jaw. Jeff gets up a boot in the corner and it’s off to Lawler. The fans chant Jerry’s Kid which applies to either Jarrett or Lawler. Pac clotheslines Lawler down and brings in BG for some finger bending (seriously) and right hands. A Jarrett distraction allows Lawler to superkick BG down, followed by some fish hooking of BG’s jaws.

There’s a bulldog for two on James and Lawler demands that April watch. Brian pounds in right hands to BG’s head but a second bulldog attempt results in Lawler being crotched in the corner. Hot tag brings in Pac to clean house, including a sitout powerbomb for two on Jarrett. Both heels get Bronco Busters but the X-Factor to Lawler is badly botched. Cue Elix Skipper to lay Pac out, giving Lawler two.

Jeff hooks a sleeper on Pac but it’s only good for two arm drops. Pac hooks a sleeper of his own but gets sent into the ropes for the break. A double clothesline takes the heels down and it’s back to BG. House is cleaned and everything breaks down with BG pinning Lawler with the pumphandle slam.

Rating: D+. This was the usual from these guys: nothing special and the fans don’t care about them for the most part. I’m not even sure why most of these guys are fighting in the first place. I believe Jarrett disrespected BG’s dad and that’s about it. No one cares about Lawler and the reactions confirm that theory. It’s not a horrible match but it didn’t help the story at all.

Post match Skipper comes in for the 3-2 beatdown but Amazing Red and the SATs come out for the save. It’s a huge brawl with Killings coming out as well to help the heels to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Well I’ve seen worse, but that’s not something you want to hear about a company that’s not even four months old yet. There’s a lot of WCW in this company: the stuff in the middle and the bottom of the card is good but the main event stuff doesn’t do much for anyone. Still though, this went by relatively quickly and they’re setting up stuff for the future which is a good sign. Not a bad show here.

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First ECW on TNN
Date: August 27, 1999
Commentator: Joey Styles

From the title I think you get the idea here. This show is weird as it’s a lot like the old WWF TV shows as it’s a collection of previously aired matches thrown together here. The first show they taped was awful so they turned it into this. The main thing is Lynn vs. Van Dam from Hardcore Heaven 99 which I’ll re-review and see how it matches up with the original rating I gave it, which is something I don’t think I’ve done before. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of the Dudleys (who would leave for WWF in like a week) powerbombing someone through a flaming table as Joey says this isn’t WCW or WWF but ECW.

Cue theme song. The main focus is Tazz who would leave in like 2-3 months and everyone knew that was going to happen.

Joey lists off a bunch of people to have held the TV Title but says RVD might be better than all of them.

TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn

I think this is new commentary here but I’m not sure. This is really just a way to introduce Van Dam and give us what they know is an exciting match. You can’t hear a word the ring announcer is saying. They start with a nice sequence where neither can get any real advantage but the fans love it. We actually get highlights of both guys in the middle of the match. I get that you want to showcase two of your top guys but dude, do it when there’s not a match on.

Van Dam gets knocked to the floor and Lynn takes over. Lynn gets a top rope bulldog for two. RVD is bleeding from…..something. I think at this point we go to a commercial as we get an ad for Anarchy Rulz. Joey suggests the Warrior could be coming to ECW. Oh dear. Yeah the commentary here is new. Lynn is bleeding too now after botching a fall to the floor and hitting his foot on the ropes. The replay has a rap song with it. Really?

Lynn gets a sunset powerbomb for two. What would an ECW match be without tables? Van Dam’s eye is messed up and made of pretty colors. Van Daminator in the stands as this match is kind of hard to follow. Another commercial doesn’t help as they don’t stop the match for it, which is either a good idea or a bad idea and I’m not sure which. Lynn gets another sunset powerbomb through the table on the floor.

CUE THE RAP SONG REPLAY! After a clip or a commercial, Fonzie takes a chair pelted at his head. Lynn goes for a top rope belly to belly but he just falls off. You know the chant we get from that. Cradle Piledriver is blocked and both guys are down. Split Legged Moonsault hits Lynn. PAY ATTENTION MORRISON. THAT IS HOW YOU DO THE FREAKING MOVE. And there’s the Five Star out of more or less nowhere but Lynn rolls through for two. Van Daminator and a HUGE Five Star ends it.

Rating: B-. The clipping hurts this a lot. It makes this look like far less of an ultra competitive match and more like RVD just breaking a sweat. It’s still good but at the same time it really makes Lynn look weak. At the same time though this was about RVD and that worked very well. This was still good but a different kind of good. I gave the PPV version a B as I still find these matches to be overrated by most ECW fans.

We plug Rollerjam (which as a kid I thought was a cool show. The women were hot if nothing else) and then talk about the ECW World Title, listing off guys that didn’t win it but tried to, such as Konnan, Benoit, Austin and Foley. I’m not entirely sold on talking about guys that USED to be here, but you could look at it like this: We had these guys before they were superstars. Imagine what kind of buried treasures we have here now. That makes sense.

Shane threw down the NWA Title, which meant nothing to most fans watching this show but whatever. That was 5 years before the debut of the TV show. Didn’t know that.

ECW World Title: Taz vs. Rhyno

This is from Hardcore TV or a house show. Rhyno hits a powerbomb 3 seconds in and Taz just pops up. Rhyno means nothing at this point which you can probably guess. Well we’re in Chicago if nothing else. Taz is massacring him here with Rhyno looking like a freaking  jobber. He’s hit two punches to the ribs and a no sold powerbomb. Tazz sets up a table and Rhyno hits new levels of offense with THREE punches to the ribs. Suplex through the table sets up the Tazmission. Total squash if there ever has been one.

Rating: N/A. This was DOMINANCE which is the idea I guess, but Rhyno looks like a joke here. The problem is that these matches are just random defenses with no meaning to them. We keep hearing about Steve Corino and how he’s Taz’s archenemy, but we never even see him.

Video on Sabu who is apparently awesome. No match or anything but just highlights.

Ad for Anarchy Rulz again.

Spike Dudley vs. Big Sal

Low blow and Acid Drop end it. Literally that’s the whole thing. Who is Spike? Who is Sal? “Spike has done it again!” What does he do? Apparently that’s not important. Ah ok they call him the Giant Killer.

The Impact Players introduce themselves and we have no idea if they mean anything or not. Cyrus pops up for no apparent reason as Jason makes gay jokes about Joey. We see clips of the Impact Players beating people up which helps a bit as we know they’re dominant.

House show ads.

We get a BUNCH of clips of guys and a brief description (as in their nickname) of them. It’s set to a Kid Rock song so what do you expect here?

Taz talks about how TNN and ECW are together now and how cool that is I guess. We get clips of famous people he’s made tap out. He talks for like three minutes and that ends this mess.

Overall Rating: D. This was a total mess. Considering this is the first show, this was just awful as you learn nothing about the guys other than Taz being a tough guy and RVD is awesome. Other than that though you get nothing at all here though and other than a single good match to start, this gave us nothing. We have no idea about any feuds or angles or anything like that as it was just a few squashes and one big match from months earlier. This just didn’t work as Heyman clearly didn’t know what he was doing, which became a theme here. Bad show and just a car wreck of an hour.

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TNA Weekly PPV #8
Date: August 7, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West, Ed Ferrara

We’re back to Nashville and this is a BIG show. Around this time the original financial backer of the company bailed out, so the company is either in a big state of flux right now or is about to be. On the in ring side though, we have two title matches tonight and one of them will see the final appearance of a champion for nearly two years. Let’s get to it.

The Dupps and Apolo are waiting outside Steamboat’s office. I think Steamboat is boss around here anymore.

Spanish Announce Team vs. Flying Elvises

I’m serious. That’s their name. It’s Amazing Red, Joel Maximo and Jose Maximo. The Elvises are Jimmy Yang, Sonny Siaki and Jorge Estrada. It’s a big brawl to start Tenay says that the SAT (the name they’ll become known by) are named because of the announce table always broken at a WWE event. Thanks for that one Mike. I NEVER would have gotten that without you.

Red and Siaki are left in the ring and we’re told that Jose Maximo is the one with elbow pads. Got it. Back to four guys in the ring again with Siaki throwing Red in the air and catching him in a Samoan Drop. All three Elvises are at least on the apron now. Jose Maximo is in the ring now and takes a triple sitout powerbomb before being sent outside again. Red comes in again and we still haven’t had a one on one match.

Siaki LAUNCHES Red onto the Maximos but Siaki won’t let his partners pose. Ok so it’s Joel vs. Sonny to start but Sonny doesn’t want to let either of his partners in. Yang and Estrada go to do commentary, basically making it 3-1. Joel in the ring now but it’s quickly off to Red with a standing shooting star press. Jorge starts to sing on commentary. The Maximos double team Sonny and put him in a wicked double team combo submission with Joel hooking a surfboard and Jose hooking a dragon sleeper. If that’s not enough, Red hits a double stomp while Siaki is up in the surfboard. FREAKING OW MAN!

Off to Red vs. Siaki now with Sonny hitting a pumphandle suplex for two. Yang gets back on the apron but Sonny STILL won’t tag. Yang gets back on commentary as a triple team takes Sonny down so Jose can kick him in the head for two. Siaki gets a right hand in to Red but the Maximos come in for a double C4 off the top.

Red hits a corkscrew moonsault and the other Elvises come in. Everything breaks down and the Code Red (sunset flip bomb) gets two for Red. The Maximos set for some double team spot but Yang slips off Jose. Estrada counters another double C4 into a double DDT off the top. Yang and Estrada go up at the same time for a stereo top rope legdrop and splash combo, only to have Siaki steal the pin on Red.

Rating: B-. Good choice for an opener here with a bunch of high flying spots and furthering of the split between the Elvises. Siaki is a solid heel and it’s kind of a shame that his push stopped. This is the right kind of opener though and the crowd was fired up by the big spots. It worked in WCW and it works everywhere else.

The announcers talk about the title matches tonight.

Earlier today, Apolo went on a rant about how he’s been screwed out of a world title shot. That’s true, as he was passed over because of Truth’s rant about racism or whatever. Steamboat has lost his respect for passing him over. Tonight, Apolo wants an answer from Steamboat.

Apolo goes to see Steamboat but Steamboat blows him off. The Dupps try to talk to Steamboat but we cut to AJ vs. Lynn in another brawl in the back. Security finally breaks it up.

Here’s Steamboat who is kind of a jerk lately. The Dupps follow him out and Steamboat says he doesn’t have time with it, so go do whatever it is you want to do.

NWA World Title: Ken Shamrock vs. Ron Killings

Steamboat jumps in on commentary. Shamrock (defending) grabs a leglock almost immediately but Truth fights up. Ken almost falls over trying a kick to the face and then puts on an armbar. Ricky talks about why he gave Truth the match. He talks about how he was IC Champion but didn’t get a title shot at Hogan. In this case, the real story would be better: he didn’t get a title shot at Hogan, but then he went to the NWA and they gave him the opportunity. Instead they took a shot at the WWF but that’s more important right?

Truth snapmares him down and puts on a chinlock. That doesn’t last long so Truth hits a spinning forearm for two. Shamrock messes up a sunset flip as Steamboat talks about going sixty minutes a lot of the time. Truth pounds away in the corner but gets caught in a powerbomb to counter. Ken comes back with a powerslam but he’s looking haggard already.

Another kick takes Truth down and Shamrock is all fired up. He tries the standing rana but it looks like he’s going in slow motion. There’s the ankle lock but Truth gets to a rope quickly. The New Church is watching from the stage as we head to the outside. Monty Brown is on the stage too. Truth suplexes him on the floor and they head back in with Shamrock taking over almost immediately.

The champ pounds away and hooks a cross armbreaker. Truth slaps Shamrock’s knee which looks a lot like tapping out. Shamrock lets the hold go for no apparent reason and is getting ticked off. Truth gets thrown to the floor and here’s the interference. We’ve got Apolo attacking Truth, the New Church attacking Shamrock, and Don Harris and Monty Brown attacking the New Church. Apolo fires a superkick but misses Truth and COMPLETELY misses Shamrock, but Ken sells it anyway. That was embarrassing. Steamboat throws Shamrock back in and a Diamond Cutter gives Truth the title.

Rating: D. Changing the title here was a good idea as Shamrock looked horrible. In a less than ten minute match he botched at least four moves. That’s not acceptable for a world champion, especially in a company that is brand new like this. Steamboat didn’t really add anything here but it was a good idea to have Truth win the title, as he’s involved with the main storylines. Shamrock wouldn’t have another match with the company until 2004.

Steamboat comes out again and wants to talk to Apolo. Apolo comes out and Steamboat says Apolo can’t be a maniac anymore. Why not? It got Truth a title shot. Apparently it gets Apolo a title shot as well….and here’s Jarrett. Jarrett complains about being discriminated against because he’s white. Steamboat says he can’t believe what he’s hearing and says this stops here tonight. Tonight it’s Jarrett vs. Apolo and the winner gets Truth. So basically in NWA TNA, you get title matches by whining. That’s how Truth got his, and that’s how these two are getting their chances at a shot. Oh and Steamboat is referee.

Here’s Disco Inferno for Jive Talking but his set is way cheaper looking, with a cardboard sign with Jive Talken (that’s how it’s spelled) written on it. Here are the Dupps and they announce the first Dupp Cup Invitational. Apparently this is going to be the new hardcore division. You have to get ten points to win a match in the division. It’s 2.5 points for putting someone through a table a 5 points if it’s on fire.

If you put your opponent’s head in a toilet, it’s 2.5 points. It goes downhill from here with stupid jokes about using farm animals. Apparently if you spank an opponent with a hobby horse you get 2.5 points, but if they like it, you lose 2.5 points. This keeps going for awhile and the redneck crowd likes it for reasons that are likely due to inbreeding. The Dupps would be gone after next week and the company was instantly better.

Stan takes his shirt off and reveals a shirt with a picture of Goldilocks in a bikini taped to it. Disco asks who is going to be in the match tonight so here’s Paulina from Tough Enough. The Dupps offer 64 cents to anyone that wants to fight for the Dupp Cup. Apparently you also get a night with their hot cousin Fluff Dupp…..and Ed Ferrara accepts.

Dupp Cup: Ed Ferrara vs. The Dupps

Ferrara hits JB for two and a half points, spanks Don West for three and a half more (first to ten wins and yes those rules were established before the match) but the Dupps jump him to take over. Stan hits Ferrara with a chair for a point and Stan does the same to make it 6-2. A boot and a drink to Ferrara’s head make it 6-4 and another chair shot makes it 6-5. We meet J, who was mentioned in the rules, which is a sex blow-up doll which makes it 7.5 to 6 in favor of the Dupps.

Sarah the Ticket Lady (also mentioned) beats up Bo with a broom which means no points to anyone. Paulina hits Stan with a chalk board and Ed spears Bo down. Three chair shots somehow make it 8 to 7.5 in favor of Ed. Ed spanks Bo with “Horsey Poo” but Bo likes it so Ed loses 2.5 points, making it 5.5 to 7.5 in favor of the Dupps. Here’s a table and Bo chokeslams Ed through it for the win. If you think I’m rating this you’re dumber than the Dupps.

By the way, this segment got over 16 minutes, or as long as the main event tonight will get.

Monty Brown talks about his background in an interview with Mike Tenay, where he lists off his accomplishments and transitioning from football to wrestling. He’s very calm here and comes off like a well read and intelligent guy as opposed to the wild and loud guy he would be more famous as. Brown talks about the politics he faced in the NFL and talks about how he overcame them. As for Truth, he doesn’t like the whining….and here’s Elix Skipper (I think) to hit him with what looks like yellow paint. It covers Monty with one shot. Skipper yells about Monty not knowing what it’s like to be from the streets.

Malice vs. Don Harris

First blood here as we have a match with a security guard. Malice takes over to start and rams Harris into the barricade a few times. Mitchell, Malice’s manager, jumps in on commentary. Harris kicks a chair into Malice’s face and whips him HARD into the barricade. They head into the crowd and Harris cracks him in the head with a chair. Another chair shot to the head looks to open Malice up but it’s not quite there yet.

Malice still has his vest on. He rams Harris into a wall and they’re still out in the crowd. They head to the stage and Mitchell talks about setting the stage for things to come by putting blood on the opponents’ faces. Malice gets thrown off the stage and lands face first on the barricade.

Slash jumps Harris from behind and has some kind of a sharp object. Harris gets it from him and stabs Slash in the head with it but Malice comes back and we head to ringside again. Mitchell gets taken down and has blood all over him now from that box he carries. The guys head inside for the first time of the whole match and a Boss Man Slam puts Malice down but Malice jabs him with something around the eye for the blood and the win.

Rating: D. Even for a first blood match, this wasn’t anything of note. It’s like six minutes long and it wasn’t anything interesting. We know who Harris is but I have no idea why this match was happening. Also the ending comes out nowhere and I’m not really sure what Malice did to open Harris up. This would continue in a few weeks if not next week.

Sonny Siaki annoys Goldilocks when Bruce pops up and steals her mic. He gets in Taylor Vaughn’s face and offers her a rematch in an evening gown match. Low Ki and AJ pop up and are brawling as well.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Apolo

Steamboat is guest referee and the winner gets a shot at the Truth. Feeling out process to start but Steamboat blocks a right hand from Jeff. Jeff pounds on Apolo, Apolo pounds on Jeff, not much is going on here. Jeff gets sent to the floor via a clothesline and Steamboat actually enforces the get off the top before five rule. Back in and Apolo hits a Sky High powerbomb for two.

A Booker T sunset flip out of the corner gets two for Apolo and Jarrett gets guillotined on the top rope to send him to the floor. Jeff sends Apolo into the barricade and we head back inside with Jarrett in full control. Apolo is busted open and misses a splash in the corner. Jarrett enziguris him down for two and the fans think it was a slow count. Apolo misses a shoulder block and Jeff goes after the knee.

Figure Four goes on and Apolo is in a lot of trouble. The fans are completely behind Jarrett and chant MAKE HIM TAP. The hold is turned over but Jeff is quickly in the ropes. Jeff misses a charge and crotches himself on the ropes. They slug it out with Apolo’s leg looking fine. A DDT puts Jeff down but Apolo can’t follow up. Apolo comes back with some clotheslines and a superkick but Jeff gets his foot on the ropes. Apolo hits a German suplex but Jeff raises his shoulder, and with some hesitation, Steamboat counts the three on Apolo.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match here but at the same time it’s about what you would have expected. I always like Apolo for the most part but this was pretty much the height of his time in the company and would be his last match until 2004. The rise of Jarrett continues as I think we all knew was coming when we heard he was starting a wrestling company. Before people get on me, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The guy is a great heel and it was his company, so who could he trust on top more?

Steamboat explains what just happened to Apolo so Apolo gets on him because of unfairness or something like that. Apolo leaves and Steamboat says Jarrett is getting the Truth….just not for the title. It’s going to be Jarrett/Truth vs. Lynn/Styles for the tag titles next week.

Miss TNA: Bruce vs. Taylor Vaughn

It’s an evening gown match, meaning strip the other person down to their underwear to win. Bruce is a man and Miss TNA coming in. Bruce dominates, hitting a suplex and a backbreaker before taking Taylor’s dress off to retain. WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS?

Bruce strips as well and we’ve got a thong.

Don West gives his sales pitch for next week. He really is good at this stuff. We get a merchandise pitch too.

X-Division Title: Low Ki vs. AJ Styles vs. Jerry Lynn

Styles and Lynn are tag champions and Styles is X Champion. I’ll only refer to Styles as a champion in this though for the sake of clarity. Lynn and Low Ki take out Styles to start and immediately brawl with each other. Low Ki fires off kicks at Lynn but Jerry catches one of them and AJ kicks Ki in the head. Lynn hooks Styles in an inverted Gory Special but gets dropkicked down by Low Ki.

A Muta style elbow gets two on the champ for Low Ki but Styles does his awesome nip up into a rana to take over. There’s a torture rack to Low Ki but AJ keeps going with it and hits a kind of reverse AA into a facebuster. Lynn pops up and takes AJ down but Styles comes right back with a McGillicutter to take Jerry down. A rana from AJ is countered into a kind of powerbomb facebuster for two by Jerry.

Low Ki is sent to the apron but he slingshots in to roll up Jerry as Jerry German suplexes AJ which gets a double two count. Cool spot. Lynn and Low Ki chop it out as AJ is down. AJ tries a suplex on Low Ki but gets caught in a Dragon Sleeper. Lynn tries for a save but gets caught in the same hold. Jerry suplexes Low Ki down but AJ saves. AJ goes up but Jerry DDTs him off the top for two.

Styles and Low Ki slug it out but Low Ki kicks him in the face to take over. AJ hits his moonsault into the reverse DDT for two and then loads up a superplex on Low Ki but Jerry turns it into a Tower of Doom for two. All three guys get an awesome looking rollup for two, followed by AJ and Lynn trading very close two counts again. Low Ki rolls up Lynn, but Jerry kicks out, sending Low Ki into the Styles Clash position. Jerry breaks it up for some reason but the setup looked good.

Aj goes to the corner but Low Ki puts him in the Tree of Woe and in the Dragon Sleeper at the same time. Lynn’s tornado DDT to Low Ki is countered into a dragon sleeper on the ropes but AJ kicks him in the head and covers Lynn for two. A neckbreaker gets two on Lynn but Low Ki tries the Ki Crusher on AJ. Styles counters that but Low Ki hooks the Styles Clash on Styles. Jerry hits a Ki Crusher on Low Ki and you know what’s coming next. The cradle piledriver gets two on Lynn and the fans are digging this a lot.

Low Ki accidentally kicks the referee and is thrown to the floor by both opponents. Jerry and AJ collide to put both guys down and AJ falls to the floor in pain. Scratch that as he brings in a chair which he caves in Lynn’s head with a chair. AJ goes up but as he climbs, Low Ki covers Lynn. In a pretty questionable ending, the referee gets to two, AJ hits Spiral Tap on Low Ki, Low Ki comes up off Jerry, goes back down on Jerry, and the referee counts one more time (as in the referee slaps the mat only once more) for the three count and Low Ki is champion.

Rating: B. Bad ending aside, this was a fun match which showed off what TNA was good at: high flying matches with guys going so fast it’s almost impossible to keep up with what’s going on. I missed a few spots because I couldn’t type fast enough to keep up with them. Low Ki was by far the most popular guy in the match so going with him as champion was the right move. AJ and Lynn would keep feuding for awhile longer.

Since the signature division just had a great match, let’s cut to Jarrett to close the show. He and Truth yell at each other before we cut back to AJ and Lynn fighting. Jarrett and Truth stare at each other on the ramp to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The main event helps this a lot, but MAN FREAKING ALIVE this was a long sit. There were some dumb things on here, mainly the Dupps, which went on for over 1/8th of the WHOLE FREAKING SHOW. It’s low brow humor which I don’t find funny at all and it went nowhere. This show was terrible, but it’s a big transitioning point for TNA with two new champions and the departure of a lot of guys who brought them this far. Really weak show overall for this week though.

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Heat Wave 1998
Date: August 2, 1998
Location: Hara Arena, Dayton, Ohio
Attendance: 4,376
Commentator: Joey Styles

So apparently it’s ok to have no pay per views over the entire summer as it’s been three months since Wrestlepalooza. There are a few changes here. For one thing, guys like Mike Awesome and Masato Tanaka are here now, bringing a completely new style to ECW which was needed. Shane is of course still world champion and not wrestling tonight for no adequately explained reason.

The main event is a street fight, which is an oxymoron in ECW, between the Dudleys and Dreamer, Sandman and Spike. There is also a rather famous tag match with Van Dam and Sabu who have FINALLY ended the Storm and Candido tag title reign against Hayabusa and Jinsei Shinzaki (Hakushi). This is considered a classic but I’m not so sure that Sabu and classic can go together so we’ll just see. Let’s get to it.

Oh hey the world champion is on commentary tonight. Also all seven matches are main event matches apparently. Doesn’t that kind of defeat the purpose or something?

Joey introduces Francine (holy goodness) and Shane to be his co-hosts. After talking about Taz because they have to keep building up the freaking thing for another 5 months, Francine shoves Joey’s face into her chest.

Cue theme song and opening video.

We have a more traditional ECW entrance ramp now with the hole in the brick wall that they would use forever.

Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn

These two had a best of 21 series over a summer. Justin has a mob with him more or less. Naturally we get a shot at Chyna as they say Bass is bigger. Joey says they should name her Russia. Considering there was a chick in WCW named Asya, that’s kind of funny. This is the final match of said best of 21 series. Lynn of course comes out alone.

Apparently they’re feeling each other out. What the heck? THIS IS THEIR TWENTY FIRST MATCH IN THREE MONTHS. That’s a match every FOUR DAYS. How much feeling out do you need? Lynn is freaking MOVING out there. The tombstone is reversed into a rollup. Shane of course runs down Flair and Shawn even though that has nothing to do with anything.

I love how one of his first jobs in mainstream wrestling was being half of the New Rockers when Shawn was hurt. We’ll ignore that though. The first chair is in 15 minutes into the show. Well at least they waited a bit. We’re on the floor now and in full brawl mode. At least we got some wrestling stuff first so it balances out. Justin takes a DDT on the chair which should knock him out but of course it doesn’t.

That’s followed up by a hurricanrana through a table. I get that this is the last of the series, but dang man could you be a bit less contrived? To be fair though, this is a big match and not just a random pairing. Lynn keeps using the Tiger Bomb for some reason. Did he not have the Cradle Piledriver yet? Chastity gets a tombstone and Joey is glad. After an odd sequence, a tombstone from the second rope ends this with Justin winning.

Rating: C-. The weapons were a turn off for me as was all of the interference, but anyone that can have a best of 21 series is pretty decent. That’s a good way to describe Justin actually. Lynn impressed me here far more as he was carrying this. That’s Justin’s problem I think: he doesn’t do much and his offense is REALLY limited. It’s punch, taunt, chair move, taunt, tombstone. That doesn’t make you a good wrestler or character, but Heyman thought he was I guess.

We recap Storm vs. Candido and how they lost the belts to Van Dam and Sabu. Tonight is the one on one match.

Lance Storm vs. Chris Candido

Sunny looks freaking HOT. Joey thinks that maybe they’re getting along again and this will be a nice wrestling match. Naturally that doesn’t happen and Joey says he knew it wouldn’t. It’s funnier than it sounds. They chop the heck out of each other. DANG IT JOEY QUIT SAYING THE SAME THINGS I SAY!!! Candido gets a nice dive from the top rope to the floor. Freaking sweet looking.

Storm rolls Sunny in and then just lets her roll out again in a completely pointless sequence. This is a rather basic but intense match. Storm hits a SWEET springboard over the railing to crash into Candido. It’s a solid brawl but it’s really not that great. Storm gets another SWEET move with a spin kick off the middle rope.

We have our fifth Batista/Tiger Bomb (yes I know they’re different moves but Joey keeps saying it’s a Tiger Bomb so whatever) of the night. You don’t have to do the same move over and over again. Candido gets powder thrown in his own eyes but there goes the referee. Sunny crotches Storm on the top and the super powerbomb ends this. Oh and along the way Sunny got her top ripped off. Sunny needs to wear red more often. My freaking goodness!

Rating: C+. Not bad, but it felt like it ended all of a sudden. I mean there were some ok high spots here, but for the most part there just wasn’t a lot going on. It was about 11 minutes but it felt like five.

New Jack says he’s ready for whoever he’s fighting in a pretaped thing in the parking lot. A huge brawl breaks out and he curses way too much. They Dudleys and the Hardcore Chair Swinging Freaks were in there. Jack is hurt apparently. Aww there’s no weapons match tonight. FOR SHAME!

Sabu, Van Dam and Alfonso are ready. Van Dam is on the verge of a face turn.

Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka

These two feuded for the better part of ever and Tanaka usually would win if you can believe that. Awesome was just a freak of nature to say the least. In a little known bit of trivia, Awesome is the step nephew of one Hulk Hogan. Awesome could do just about everything and jumped all over the ring like Rey Mysterio, but he was the size of Test or so. And there he goes with a huge dive over the top rope.

Tanaka gets a running start with a chair to nail Awesome in the freaking head. That looked painful. Basically all Tanaka can do is blast him with a chair. I’m not saying that’s all he’s capable of, but that that’s all he can get to work. A huge splash hits as this is rather physical. It’s not great but it’s far from bad as well. Tanaka takes a bunch of chair shots to the head but he Rises Up as the chair looks diseased.

The Awesome Bomb connects but Awesome wants to use a table instead. I hate those stupid things. A chair shot from the top which should have killed Tanaka connects and still no cover. Tanaka escapes twice despite likely being legally dead and power bombs Awesome through the table.

I’ve officially lost this match now, as there comes a point where disbelief can’t be suspended anymore. The Roaring Elbow connects for the second time but only the first time that it was either noticed or that Awesome sold it. A tornado DDT on a chair ends it.

Rating: C+. Well it was a good brawl but not much more. The amount of kickouts was just dumb near the end, as half of those bumps should have killed them. It certainly was exciting if nothing else though. The good thing is that the matches didn’t really get bad but they never really got better either. This was fun.

During the post match part, Shane mentions he can’t get back in the ring until November 1. So just to be clear, the world champion is out at bare minimum three months, not counting however long he’s been out already. And everybody is ok with this?

Taz says he’s better and means more than Austin and Goldberg. Oh that’s FUNNY.

Ad for November to Remember which is when Shane returns to the ring.

The Dudleys, all like nine of them say that they’re ready for tonight and their street fight. All of them say that and it takes forever.

Tag Titles: Hayabusa/Shinzaki vs. Rob Van Dam/Sabu

This is considered one of the gold standards of ECW so let’s see if it’s as good as I’ve been told that it is. The fans are into the Walk theme music for RVD and that’s an understatement. Van Dam is also the TV Champion. It’s amazing that he held it more or less until the company ended minus six months. The announcer butchers Shinzaki’s name to an extent that even I roll my eyes at it.

They say Sabu is from Bombay, Michigan and that never gets old. There’s no storyline here as they’ve just brought the guys in for a one off match. Ok then. Hayabusa and Van Dam start us off. We get a stall for a good while before we actually start. It’s an old Memphis tactic that I’ve always hated. They do a sloppy rollup/leg lock spot. Not a great starting point.

We get a you screwed up chant off blown spot number two. We’re MAYBE two minutes into this by the way. Off a kick to the face (think Kofi’s Trouble in Paradise) Hayabusa misses Rob’s head by about 6 inches yet Van Dam sells it anyway. There’s been WAY too much walking around and doing nothing here. In what’s likely Shinzaki’s biggest move, he does a praying rope walk around the top rope like Taker but he goes around a corner.

Let me make sure I’ve got this straight. Van Dam is just holding onto him walking for about 8 seconds and has a free arm and two free feet, and we’re supposed to believe he’s just going to go quietly? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? When Taker does it it’s about 2 seconds on the ropes and nothing more. Not only is this sloppy, but it’s not making much sense.

And Sabu hasn’t even been in until now. He comes in for a cover. That makes sense. Nothing says high impact and cool looking offense like a chinlock! I think Hayabusa stole his attire from Hannibal from WCW/NWO Revenge. SUE HIM IMMEDIATELY!

Sabu shows some intelligence as he dropkicks the knee and then WORKS ON THE LEG! I’m stunned actually. After a LONG time of mat work etc we get to the high flying stuff that this is supposed to be about. Hayabusa is moving out there. We’re in the crowd now in case you were wondering. We’re out of the crowd now in case you were wondering.

Shinzaki and Sabu are in the ring while the other two are down on the floor. Van Dam puts Shinzaki in a bow and arrow so Sabu can hit him in the ribs with a chair. Again, WHY DO YOU NEED THE CHAIR??? The match was just starting to get good and we bring in a pointless chair because Sabu can’t work more than 5 minutes without a weapon. If you want to know what drives me the craziest about ECW, it’s THAT.

Sabu goes out, the chairs are taken out, and the match is instantly going up in value. Hayabusa going insane off the ropes is fun to watch. Why do we need chairs and weapons? Sabu hits a decent jumping hurricanrana. That wasn’t bad at all. See, if he tries, he could do some decent NON WEAPON RELATED stuff. Shinzaki hits what we would call a Pele kick on Van Dam. Hayabusa hits a 450 splash and this isn’t terrible.

Sabu hooks a Boston Crab so Van Dam can go up for a leg drop. It turns out to be a hip drop on his head but whatever. This has lost anything resembling flow or actual tag wrestling and is just a mess anymore. If that’s the case, what was the point of the tagging thing earlier? We have a table and I more or less give up now. Shinzaki hits a WEIRD looking leg twist on Van Dam. It was cool looking if nothing else.

More chair use as Van Dam jumped from one side of the ring to another for kind of a Van Daminator. Sabu hurts his hand doing something. They break the table. Not break through it but just break it. So we get two more! Oh and a chair which is slammed over Hayabusa’s head. A Van Daminator takes down Shinzaki.

In the big spot of the match, both Japanese guys are on one table and the champions go up top and crash through both guys. That ends it. Seriously? It should be noted that in every replay, the champions use weapons and the challengers never do. That should tell you a few things.

Rating: D+. The first half of this was pretty good. It wasn’t great at all but I didn’t expect it to be. After about ten minutes though it’s your standard ECW tag match: weapons, ridiculous spots with zero transitions, and a complete lack of anything resembling tagging.

Also, the first half is made to look pointless as they tagged then but they don’t in the second half. BE CONSISTENT ALREADY! It’s watchable I guess, but it’s nothing I’m going to remember in about a day or so. This is the best tag match ECW ever had? That explains a lot.

We recap Bigelow vs. Taz. More or less, Taz got put through the ring and he went after Shane and the Triple Threat, including Bigelow. This was the introduction of the FTW Title. This was really about setting up Shane vs. Taz but because the champion was injured for at least three months, we didn’t get the match for about another 6 months.

Yeah, because we couldn’t do that in November since we had to have a 6 man tag instead. I mean, it’s not like this hasn’t been going on for the last 4 months already or anything. Heyman makes my head hurt.

FTW Title: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Taz

You know, for an unrecognized title, it certainly was recognized by the announcer. Oh this is a death match, meaning falls count anywhere. Bigelow is noticeably less fat. Shane says he won’t cheer lead. That’s rather amusing. First move of the match: Bigelow powerbombs Taz and it’s completely no sold. Give me a break. This isn’t your standard big man vs. little man match as Taz isn’t your typical little man.

Taz goes air (Evan) borne by jumping off the stage at Bigelow who catches him. That’s always been a move I get impressed by. They’re in the crowd here which at least makes sense in this case as it’s falls count anywhere. We get an armbar on the floor. Ok then. Shane of course takes credit for everything that Bigelow does. At least he’s being a heel. The lack of weight really does help him out I think. Taz is bleeding.

Back in the ring now and IT’S TABLE TIME! SO NEW! SO INNOVATIVE! OH YES!!! Taz goes through it and Bigelow is dominating. They exercise recycling as they have Bigelow go through the same table that Taz did. ECW is environmentally conscious if nothing else.

And then we go on the ramp and Taz reverses a DDT through the ramp to do the same big mindless spot that they did in the first match. Both guys of course come out of the hole and the Tazmission is on for the tap out. Shane’s reaction is great. I’d sell my G-Mod spot for a curses foiled again from him.

Rating: D+. Again just an overblown brawl. Thankfully this ended their feud but again it’s just another chapter in the Shane/Taz saga. It was all about one spot which is the smoke and mirrors booking that Heyman was notorious for. It’s ok to just wrestle. He needs to get that.

We recap the Dudleys vs. the faces which started when Beaulah had her neck broken by them. Joey goes on a rant against the Dudleys because of what they did. The heat on them was unreal.

Dudleys vs. Tommy Dreamer/Spike Dudley/Sandman

The Dudleys are Bubba, D-Von and Big Dick in case you were wondering. This is the show where everyone went off on the Dudleys that Bubba talked about on Rise and Fall of ECW if you remember. There’s a piece of plywood more or less over the hole in the ramp. We get a bunch of promos from every one of the heels. The Dudleys would be gone in about a year or so.

Joel gets his usual great promo in that makes me laugh. Oh and Sign Guy is hurt pretty badly due to a ton of beatings. Oh and there’s a Beaulah doll with them. Sandman’s entrance takes about ten minutes and we have a ladder for no apparent reason. It’s a Dudleyille Street Fight so of course we’re tagging in and out. Dreamer and D-Von start us off.

Something tells me this is going to be violent quickly. Spike comes in and of course gets the tar beaten out of him by Bubba. Quite a bit of the next three or four minutes is just Spike getting beaten up. Oh joy it’s Dick vs. Sandman. This isn’t going to be pretty at all. Screw it we’re on the floor now. If this turns into a regular tag team match again I’ll be AMAZED.

Tommy and D-Von are in the crowd now with the non African-American winning it. It’s ladder time and they just beat the heck out of each other with it with big spots followed by resting and then more brawling. D-Von’s overselling never gets old to me if nothing else. Bubba finally hits that back splash thing onto a ladder onto Tommy. That’s not dumb at all.

We have more weapons in the ring than people. The managers get beaten up. All three Dudleys and Gertner are tied to the Tree of Woe and the referee hit dropkicks onto chairs to them all. I give up man. Sandman whispers into Bubba’s ear before they set up a spot. Sandman takes a SICK chair shot to the head. Dreamer hits a DDT on Bubba onto a ladder for the pin. And here’s New Jack and Jack Victory who were supposed to have a match earlier to beat people up and we’re done.

Rating: F+ More brawling. That’s all this was. WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE BRAWLING??? Look, I get that this is a hardcore company. I get that this was a big grudge match. I get that this was about revenge. I get all that, but FREAKING WRESTLE FOR MORE THAN TWO FREAKING MINUTES A MATCH!

This was the most violent match of the night, true. However, it COMPLETELY loses its appeal when there have been what, three other wild brawls already tonight? This is why I hate reviewing ECW: I get more wrestling on the hour long show that airs on Tuesdays than I do in the original three hour long PPVs. That’s unacceptable any way you look at it.

Overall Rating: D. This brawling stuff has got to freaking stop, but something tells me that simply isn’t going to happen at all. This was the sixth ECW PPV and while this was better than Wrestlepalooza, that’s not saying much. This just didn’t work for me as it was all about violence. ECW was supposed to have a balance but it just wasn’t there on this show at all and the show sucked as a result to me.

It’s not completely terrible, but it’s repetitive. By the end of the show I hated the thought of another chair or weapon shot and was just burnt out. That’s really bad and something tells me it’s not going to change. Also for the love of goodness stop comparing yourselves to WWF. They were 4 weeks away from tearing MSG down with Rock vs. HHH in the ladder match at Summerslam 98. You guys don’t deserve to be able to even talk about that company at this point. Stay clear of this one.

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Heat Wave 2000
Date: July 16, 2000
Location: Grand Olympic Auditorium, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 5,700
Commentators: Joey Styles, Cyrus

We have reached the final five shows as ECW hits the west coast. The company knows it’s more or less done at this point but they just wouldn’t accept it. I think their TV deal was done by the time the next PPV aired if that tells you anything. The main events here are RVD vs. Scotty Anton (Riggs) and Justin Credible vs. Tommy Dreamer for the Title. Let’s get this over with.

We open with Blue Boy and Jasmine St. Claire (adult star) on the beach. He was more commonly known as Blue Meanie minus about 100lbs. He makes fun of a guy on the beach and Jasmine hits the other guy low. The Sinister Minister shows up to say that Blue Boy sold his soul and these are the benefits. He makes puns of WWF PPV names and my eyes roll. Mikey is buried in the sand. Yeah whatever.

Joey and Gertner are in the ring of course to start us off. Let’s see how long we can get into the show without an actual match. Five minutes so far, but at least Gertner is funny. He comes complete with vanilla flavored semen. Cyrus, channeling his inner Vickie Guerrero by shouting EXCUSE ME comes out.

Super Crazy has been deported. Tajiri is gone or something. We get a ROLLERJAM reference! That’s the skating show that was constantly promoted on ECW and was considered this brilliant show while ECW dominated it in the ratings. Gertner makes gay jokes about Cyrus. This has been going on for MONTHS now and it needs to end or go somewhere.

Gertner doesn’t want to be on TNN anymore and now ECW is canceled. It would end in early October so this has 3 months left. Gertner is called a fat fa**ot. Gertner calls Cyrus one. Can you hear my enthusiasm here? I mean it’s BLEEDING man. Ten minutes so far by the way. Cyrus says Gertner has never paid his dues as we’re in the worked shoot area. Joel leaves instead of fighting and gets booed loudly. Ok scratch the leaving part.

Joel (Gertner in case you’re an idiot) jumps him and security stops him. Cyrus wants him in jail and for no apparent reason Big Sal and Tony Mamaluke come out and beat up security and referees. And here comes Balls.

Balls Mahoneyvs. Big Sal E Graziano

No bell or referee or anything. This is just kind of a fight and it only took fifteen minutes of TV time to get here. The big chair shot does nothing and Sal crushes him with a belly to belly. One of the referees that broke up the fight counts the pin. This wasn’t even two minutes long.

Van Dam says he’s going to use the Van Terminator to beat Anton.

We see a video of Bobby Eaton helping some guys and getting in a fight with Simon and Swinger and CW Anderson.

Simon Diamond/Swinger/CW Anderson vs. Kid Kash/Danny Doring/Roadkill

Simon and Swinger are no longer comedy guys anymore. I guess the Dangerous Alliance is dead too. Diamond says they have a problem but Anderson is the solution. Elektra and Lou try to come out with Anderson and he throws them out. This is just kind of meandering along and it’s not a good sign at all. Roadkill gets a NICE pop. The first bell rings over twenty five minutes into the show.

Kash and Diamond do some nice technical stuff to start. There go the WOOS. Kash is underrated I think, or at least his early stuff was. Anderson, allegedly the best guy on the team comes in and promptly gets his head handed to him. The faces clear the ring and we cut to commercial. Oh wait I forgot this isn’t TV. Anderson launches Kash into the air but he hits a rana on Diamond.

The heels take over as this is actually a pretty solid match so far. Doring comes in and cleans house with some nice stuff. Diamond hits what we would call Three Amigos and the heels take over again. This has been a fun match thus far. I wonder how they’ll screw it up. Road Kill comes in to a big old pop. Heyman might have had something here with him. Kash takes everyone not named Roadkill out with a huge flip. THEN ROADKILL DIVES TOO! Ok I think I’m a fan of his now.

Cyrus takes a shot at Hogan, 7 days after his last WCW match. Simon and Swinger manage to suplex Roadkill off the top. Well they have power if nothing else. Problem Solver (Snapshot) on Doring is blocked and Swinger takes a double underhook piledriver from Kash to end it. Very good match.

Rating: B+. That’s probably high but I loved this. This is a great example of what happens when you just let guys go out there and have fun and put on a good match. That’s what they did here and it worked very well. This was well structured and it came off as a back and forth match that was interesting. Great match and the best on PPV in a good while.

Rhyno wants Sandman and drops some F bombs to prove how serious he is.

Steve Corino vs. Jerry Lynn

Corino is in the Network still. Lynn dives through Victory’s legs and we’re off fast. Corino was in a weird place here as he was awesome on the mic but he never really won much of anything but he was getting tons of big matches anyway. Lynn takes out both he and Victory as the crowd is oddly quiet here. Not dead quiet but just not making a lot of noise quiet.

Cyrus is on gay joke #3 about Gertner 3 minutes into the match. We go to the floor and you can see Corino reach for his tape. Yep he slams into the concrete and puts his head under the ring. There’s the blood of course as he tries to rival Flair for most blood in a career. I think I know where this match is going and it’s insane if it is. Steve gets more energy from blood I guess as he takes over.

Corino does the Flip Flop and Fly as I continue to wonder what the point of his mimicking Dusty was. Lynn can freaking move out there. Steve gets into it with a fan on the floor ala Flair. He really is good at doing a lot without doing much at all. Corino actually looks like he’s wearing a crimson mask. That’s some serious blood flow there.

Chair doesn’t work as Steve gets it slammed into his head. This is ECW vs. Network. Thanks for explaining that ten minutes in. What exactly does Jack Victory get paid for? Lynn puts him down then dips his hand into the cut and puts Corino’s blood onto his own face and then uses it to write DIE on his stomach. Yeah that’s not over the top at all.

Old School Expulsion (reverse Twist of Fate) gets two on Lynn. The referee is down thanks to Victory. He threw powder at him and punched him. Overkill much? They mess up a spot where Victory was supposed to smack Lynn with a cowbell. They get it right the second time and Lynn kicks out anyway. A pinfall reversal sequence gets us nowhere but the Cradle Piledriver ends it.

Rating: B-. Solid match here. Both guys kept things simple for the most part, although the one thing I’m thinking here is “now what?” I mean where do they go from here? Corino looks a bit tougher but still lost. Lynn wins a match he’s supposed to win. It helped Corino somewhat but at the same time not very much. Then again they’re out of business in like 9 months so it’s not like it means much anyway.

We recap (as in show) the Sandman/Rhyno incident from Hardcore Heaven where Rhyno kicked his head in. This is of course different than the other three times Rhyno kicked his head in. It’s also where Sandman’s wife got pile driven through a table on the floor. This is pure filler as it’s going on WAY too long.

We go to Sandman’s house where he says he’s going to get back at Rhyno later. His house looks like you would expect it to. I get Kenny McCormick’s dad when I see him. And Rhyno is in his house. Wait…that’s at the arena? He tried to drown Sandman’s wife in the toilet or something. This was WEIRD.

Dawn Marie is on commentary for no apparent reason. She and Cyrus make sex jokes.

And here’s New Jack, complete or maybe incomplete I guess with a broken leg. Da Baldies run out to beat up New Jack since that’s all they know how to do. Nova, dressed as the Flash of all people and Chris Chetti come out for the save.

Da Baldies vs. Nova/Chris Chetti

And remember, even though Nova and Chetti are the best tag team in ECW, they can’t have the tag belts because we’re not going to have tag champions for about four months. DeVito “hits” a “dropkick” on Nova as we’re actually having something close to a tag match here. Wow Chetti is sloppy. His punches more or less hit their arms. It’s his birthday though so I can’t complain that much. Well I could but whatever.

Nova misses a Swanton and Cyrus says Chetti has educated feet. I wonder who stole that from whom. Nova hits a very nice double piledriver into a helicopter bomb (think the Three Amigos but with piledrivers and a spinning powerbomb to end it). Since that’s a totally awesome move, it doesn’t end the match. The Tidal Wave ends it as I shake my head over these two never winning the tag titles.

Rating: D+. This was a glorified squash as the high flying guys were never in anything close to danger here. These guys are kind of like the MCMG in TNA at the moment but not as tandem based. Still though this was good for them as the Baldies remain completely useless yet employed.

We go to Dreamer who is breaking his silence. I have no idea what he’s been silent about or since when but whatever. He talks about how much he loves wrestling and how he keeps losing things in his life because of it. One of those is six months’ pay but that’s more Heyman’s fault. He’s mad about TNN and he’s mad about Credible.

Almost everyone was cutting semi-shoots on TNN at this point since they knew they were done and they knew no one from TNN cared anyway. Dreamer cuts himself open on a locker. This would have been FAR better if we hadn’t heard the ring announcer starting the next match very loudly at the end of it.

Little Guido vs. Psicosis vs. Tajiri

Psicosis is back after being fired from WCW as they were hemorrhaging money so they cut EVERYBODY young and talented that they never used. Yep it’s another international three way dance that isn’t going to mean anything at all in the end. This is Psicosis’ return to ECW and he’s unmasked here. During Tajiri’s entrance we have Mikey Whipwreck and the Sinister Minister. He just kind of interjects himself into this.

The other three promptly beat the tar out of him for his troubles. He hits a Whippersnapper on Tajiri as we hear his resume for the 1000th time. Tony Mamaluke runs out for no apparent reason and Mikey beats him up. Big Sal kills Mikey and Guido pins him to get us down to the original three, making Mikey’s thing more or less completely pointless.

Tajiri stands in the ring on his own for about a minute as nothing happens at all. This is just one big mess of course. Unprettier hits Psicosis and then a German suplex ends him. So now it’s Guido and Tajiri. I wonder who will win this: the relative jobber or the guy that was in some main event level stuff recently. We get some nice counter wrestling and then the Tarantula.

It’s chair time and it’s all Tajiri here. He does the baseball slide into the Tree of Woe chair. Guido just falls down on his face which looked funny. Somehow this energizes him or something as he comes back. The fans want their pizza. Tajiri gets the mist and a brainbuster on a chair to end it with a resounding SO? Guido gets applause for no apparent reason as he leaves.

Rating: C-. This was fine, but again I say so what? I mean really what does this mean at all? They had like 8 of these and it wasn’t for a title or anything like that. This was entertaining though so I’ll give it that, but it means nothing and that’s part of the reason why the fans stopped caring.

Justin Credible, looking like the walking (sitting actually) definition of a douche says that barbed wire isn’t his thing but he’ll do it if that’s what it takes. It’s a Stairway to Hell match vs. Dreamer later.

TV Title: Sandman vs. Rhyno

Sandman comes out first for no apparent reason. Sweet I managed to marinate my turkey in the time it took to do his entrance. We’re at two and a half minutes so far. Wow I love this Stephen King guy. I managed to finish that IT book during the intro as well. Make that four minutes and he’s nowhere near the ring yet. Yes I read IT in less than five minutes. The intro is now longer than the Nova/Chetti match.

Ok he’s in the ring FIVE AND A HALF MINUTES after his music started. Rhyno makes it in 9 seconds. Sandman breaks the cane over Rhyno’s head to start and it does nothing of note. For some reason it’s weird looking that Sandman is taller than Rhyno. And yes I know that’s the WWE spelling. Sandman is more or less bombed here and no one seems to care. There’s a guardrail in the ring now as I have a bad feeling I know where this is going.

Cyrus badmouths Sandman’s wife as this is going nowhere. Basically this is just about doing moves onto the guardrail, including a Heineken-Rana from Sandman. The crowd is hot now if nothing else. With the rail on Rhyno Sandman hits a Swanton onto it. Sweet goodness. Victory and Corino come out to beat up Sandman a bit so Spike Dudley comes out. Yeah you knew this was coming.

Sandman and Spike hit Corino with 3D to pop the crowd. Spike gets gored and then takes the table piledriver. He has a broken leg at the time but who cares? Rhyno hits a piledriver on the guardrail to end this stupid mess.

Rating: F+. This was of course a mess with no chance of Sandman winning. The guardrail was the focus of the match and no one cared about it. Sandman never beat him but since he was so over it didn’t really matter. The hardcore stuff was all Sandman could do most of the time and a lot of the times, such as this one, it failed.

Dawn Marie was there for the whole match? Wow. Joey and Cyrus argue a bit.

Scotty Anton vs. Rob Van Dam

Hmm I wonder who wins here. Anton is a Network guy, more commonly known as Scotty Riggs from WCW jobber fame. He claps his hands over his head and his Sharpshooter finisher is called the Clapper. He even has a song called I Want to Give You the Clap. And remember, the insane pops Van Dam gets absolutely do not mean he should be world champion in the slightest.

Tonight the Van Terminator debuts tonight. Anton is the US Male. Shoot me please. Yeah Scotty Riggs was supposed to be one of the top heels in the company. It’s kind of hard to believe RVD is mad at Anton when he keeps smiling all the time. Van Dam busts out a gorilla press of all things. Anton caves his skull in with a chair as he tries desperately to make someone believe he has a chance. This of course fails miserably since no one buys that.

Anton hits a bulldog onto the guardrail from the apron which looked awesome. Wrestlers are very fickle. They have so many best friends over the course of a career that it’s unreal. The problem becomes very clear: Anton is a career jobber and no one really believes him as a credible threat to someone the caliber of RVD. He hits a DDT. Is that his finisher? Has he ever won a match for that matter?

Anton dominates for awhile with some decent stuff but there’s just no reaction from the crowd. And remember: RVD is fighting Scotty Riggs while Justin Credible is in the main event. Maybe Heyman deserved to go out of business. In a horrible looking spot, Anton puts him in the Tree of Woe and gets a chair for a running shot to his bad knee. He clearly slows down and stops his swing so RVD can get his foot out to kick the chair into his face. That looked awful.

RVD comes back though and hits the Skateboard (He has a chair and gets a running start so he can hit a running dropkick that knocks the chair into the other guy’s face) which wakes the crowd up a bit. While he’s celebrating with Fonzie though he takes a chair shot to the knee and Anton gets the Clapper. Oh how I hate this guy. Fonzie gets put into it later and then JUST STANDS THERE while Van Dam throws him a chair for the Van Daminator. He held the chair in place over his head for like 3 seconds for the kick.

Five Star follows and RVD says it’s time for the Van Terminator. It’s what we would call the Coast to Coast (Shane’s dropkick thing). This of course leaves Anton dead for the most part so the pin is simple. This got twenty minutes. Yeah Scotty Riggs gets twenty minutes and Chetti/Nova get less than 5. In a hilarious moment, RVD says he’s the reason ECW is going where it’s going.

Rating: D. This was just WAY too long and there was absolutely no drama. Hmm the biggest star in the company has promised a new finishing move against a guy he’s mad at that is a career jobber. I WONDER WHO WILL WIN! Anyway this just wasn’t that good. Anton was ok at his absolute best and no one bought him as having any chance here. This was just not that good.

We recap Credible vs. Dreamer. This is the rematch from where Credible took the belt from him less than 20 minutes after Dreamer won it. In essence it’s barbed wire on a pole.

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Tommy Dreamer

Francine is with Justin as she abandoned Tommy for Justin the night he won the title. The barbed wire is above the ring and you have to get a ladder to get it. It’s called Stairway to Hell. Wouldn’t the stairs go down then? Dreamer has Jazz and the formerly Gorgeous George (Randy Savage’s wife who was in WCW for a little while) with him. If the fans cared any less about Justin then they would reach negative caring.

George is the SECRET WEAPON. She’s so secret that she’s right in front of us. Wasn’t Dreamer supposed to be crippled or something like a year ago? Before we get going there’s a legit disturbance at ringside. Joey claims it’s a drunken fan but in reality it was a group of wrestlers from a company called XPW who were more or less ECW West Coast, minus the talent, the intrigue, the national attention, the writing, the music, the distribution or the influence.

The locker room emptied for the most part and the XPW guys got taken away. Francine would later say she was never grabbed or touched, which makes me wonder what started this. There was also later an alleged fight in the parking lot between ECW wrestlers and XPW crew (not wrestlers) where the more famous guy won decisively.

In a match based on violence, we of course start with technical wrestling. There’s a full nelson in an ECW match. Joey: “I’ll be danged this has broken down into a wrestling match!” We head to the floor and it’s all Tommy. It’s one of those brawls where they’re not really doing anything other that just walking around and ramming each other into things. Dreamer carries him up to a balcony and just kind of leaves him there.

He gets a ladder and climbs up so that he’s on the balcony Credible is on. And there goes the ladder. This is one of the least interesting brawls I’ve ever seen. They’re barely doing anything and the barbed wire hasn’t even been mentioned yet. With just seven minutes left in this tape that isn’t a good sign. Oh and Dreamer is fine after his fall from about 12 feet. Joey goes off on Cyrus which goes nowhere.

They lay a ladder on the bottom rope and Dreamer “hits” a “slingshot” that nails Justin square in the arm. Dreamer goes up the ladder and Francine low blows him. He falls and literally crushes her. He landed right on her and here are Jazz and George. George, of course, turns on Dreamer and Jazz to join Credible. Jazz proceeds to kill George, making me wonder what the point of her was in the first place.

Jazz rips Francine’s top off, even though she’s well covered in tape. Tombstone to Jazz and we’re back to one on one. Tommyhawk (Reverse Razor’s Edge into a Diamond Cutter. Sweet move) Dreamer gets the barbed wire with about 3 minutes left in the show. Francine is back. Credible gets crotched on the wire. Good thing you can see that his crotch is about 4 inches away from it.

That’s Incredible (Tombstone) on the wire gets two. DDT does the same for Dreamer. End this already. A regular tombstone ends it to HUGE heat. Yeah this guy would be world champion for about 6 months to less heat than Siberia. The next PPV is in October. This is July. That should tell you something.

Rating: F. This was AWFUL. There’s practically no blood, a total of two barbed wire spots, and an anti-climactic ending. This was just freaking terrible all around and boring on top of that. Credible was the worst choice for a champion they made, and all during his reign RVD was doing nothing of note. And you wonder why Heyman went out of business.

Overall Rating: D+. I’m going to give this one the benefit of the doubt. The main event is freaking terrible and the match before that is only slightly better, but the first hour is quite decent. It’s not a particularly good show, but on the ECW scale it’s one of their better PPVs somehow. The booking really was going badly here and that comes down to three letters: RVD.

He’s been by far and away the most popular guy for at least a year and a half now and he’s fighting Scotty Riggs. Anyway, things could change a good bit next time, so hopefully it’s for the better. This isn’t a horrible show, but there’s nothing worth going out of your way to see.

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Hardcore Heaven 1999
Date: May 16, 1999
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Attendance: 2,600
Commentator: Joey Styles

So we’re still in the Taz Dominates Everyone era here which is boring as all goodness but whatever. He has Chris Candido tonight which I’m sure will be riveting. Also we have Lynn vs. RVD II which should be solid enough I suppose. Other than that though the card looks pretty bland. Let’s get to it.

Joey tries to introduce us to the show but gets interrupted by Chris Candido and Sunny, who looks AMAZING in a gray dress. Apparently he’s hired the Dudleys for tonight as insurance. This is a really long time ago since they’re only six time tag champions at this point. Once they come out, Candido calls out Taz…and it’s main event time! Sure, why not?

ECW World Title: Taz vs. Chris Candido

Three suplexes, a powerbomb by Candido, a missed headbutt and the Tazmission. The match lasts maybe a minute from bell to bell. I kid you not. 3D to Taz follows.

Rating: F. No. No way. This show was based around two matches and 6 and a half minutes into the show one of them is over? No way. That simply does not work whatsoever. Seriously what is Paul thinking here? Why advertise this if that’s how you’re going to book it?

The Dudleys issue an open challenge after their very boring stuff. They ask for anyone with the balls to come face them. Take a wild guess.

ECW World Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Balls Mahoney/???

So apparently this is a match, but also for the titles. Sure why not? Balls botches an elbow from the top, somehow managing to hit Bubba in the leg with it. Think about that for a minute. I mean it’s not like Bubba is a small target or something like that right? The fans are chanting for Sabu. Now they want New Jack.

They get Spike Dudley. Sure, I mean it’s not like we’ve had Spike with a random partner on three straight PPVs now or anything like that. He manages to miss a low blow on D-Von too so there we are. Dang Heyman loved him some AC/DC. In a cool spot, they throw Spike back and forth like a ball. Spike gets thrown over the rope and it looks awesome to say the least.

I’ll give Spike this: he can sell like few others can. Table time, but Bubba gets blocked. Ah never mind: Spike went through it anyway via a nice Bubba Bomb. Spike gets a 3D but Balls saves. Gertner throws matches at Balls which does nothing. Balls of course has lighter fluid in his pocket so as you would expect, Gertner gets a fireball thrown at him. It misses completely but Gertner sells it anyway. 3D ends it.

Rating: D. At least this was a match…I think. I’m fed up with Spike and the Dudleys but whatever. This was a big mess but Spike’s bumping made it work better than nothing I guess.

Roll the theme song, as I guess that was a really long opening segment? Sure why not.

Super Crazy vs. Taka Michinoku

Crazy is introduced in kilos and Taka in pounds. Why? That makes no sense but whatever. Taka is heel here as he’s cocky from being in the WWF. Alright then. Well at least it’s not Tajiri and Taka again I guess. If Taka hadn’t been so annoying he would have been bearable. And there’s a sleeper from Crazy. I mean it’s not like we’ve got two high flying guys in there that can move very well or anything? Let’s get to the rest holds before they do something cool!

They speed it up again and Crazy gets LAUNCHED over the ropes in a great looking spot. He was up there. Crazy dives over the ropes to land on Taka. At least I think he did. The camera wasn’t on it. That sums up ECW fairly well: something happened, but no one saw it other than those that were there. Crazy hits the triple moonsault which is fairly cool. The Michinoku Driver hits but Taka doesn’t cover and a totally random sitout powerbomb ends it. Weird ending.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do it for me. It’s not really bad but the flow just wasn’t there at all if that makes sense. The high spots were decent and even good at times but this just wasn’t hitting on all cylinders. It’s hard to describe but if you saw it I think you would get what I was saying. Not bad but just an odd match.

We recap Lynn vs. RVD from the last PPV which I guess is the main event now. That should be good at least. I never got how the cradle part of the cradle piledriver really helped all that much.

In the back, rather than getting medical help, Gertner sends the Dudleys after Nova for no apparent reason. During the beatdown, Bubba says he doesn’t know what this is for. Ok then.

Little Guido vs. Tajiri

It’s still weird seeing Tajiri clean shaven. Good night Big Sal is a very fat man. Dang Tajiri could do some freaky stuff in the ring. Guido…not so much. Guido is working the arm so there’s your psychology, even though Tajiri was a kicker so his arms meant little to his offense. On the floor, Guido takes a loud post shot. It sounded great if nothing else. There’s your tarantula in case you wanted one.

Apparently the crowd thinks Tajiri is a fat duck. That must be it right? I mean they couldn’t be chanting at anyone else right? Sal interferes for two. In a funny bit, Joey won’t say balls but Cyrus nags him until he does. Cyrus of course then complains about him saying it. We get the Tree of Woe baseball slide which always looks awesome and a brainbuster ends it.

Rating: C-. Better than the last one but not by much. Guido was never someone that I liked that much at all. Tajiri got a solid push but was still the innocent yet rapidly becoming violent guy you know him as. Not a bad little match, but zero point to it being on the PPV other than to fill fifteen minutes of air time.

And here’s a Tommy Dreamer music video. Ok then.

The Dudleys have a hit list and 3,000 dollars to beat up some guy named Rod Price. Ok then.

Lance Storm vs. Tommy Dreamer

Joey and Cyrus argue for no apparent reason and Dawn Marie is insanely hot. There you are. And apparently she’s not wearing underwear so Storm stands in front of the camera while she puts them on. Ok then. This is a weapons match apparently. Oh and Dreamer wants to beat up Dawn Marie apparently over Beaulah. Dreamer gets one heck of a reaction if nothing else. And Francine is here with Tommy for no apparent reason.

Storm is a guy I like the more I see of him. I wonder how long it’s going to take to get into the ring for a change. Ah there we go. Storm is very crisp in there and I love it. This of course turns into a bunch of weapons shots and contrived spots that make little sense but look good if nothing else. I’ve always wondered what the deal was with the hitch in Storm’s kicks. Dreamer is bleeding. Dreamer busts out a stunner of all things.

It’s mainly just weapons shots now which is fine I guess. It’s table time again. Storm takes a Death Valley Driver through the table. You might notice that I’m just listing off spots and moves as there’s just nothing more to this match. Cyrus runs in and that goes nowhere. There’s your catfight. Dreamer hits the INCREDIBLY protected piledriver on Dawn. A SWEET spinwheel kick from the top to Dreamer ends it for Storm. Francine looks good here which is odd.

Rating: C-. Not terrible but just not interesting at all. It’s ok, but that’s all. Dreamer had a ton of these random fights and while they were decent, they get very repetitive after awhile. I mean, how many people does he annoy over the years? Not bad, but nothing to write home about at all.

The Dudleys beat up Jack Victory, this time for $5000. Bubba, why beat up Victory when you could own the company for that much? We’re at the halfway point of the show with Van Dam/Lynn and a Justin match to go. That’s not a good sign.

Taz says he can beat the Dudleys…tonight. Oh no. Oh dear cheese NO.

Joey recaps everything for the night. Oh and he says the wrong name for the TV Title. A man that shouts and says the wrong name. You know where I’m going with it. Yep. I’m going to Branson, Missouri. Good town. You can see cheap dinner theater there I hear.

TV Title: Jerry Lynnvs. Rob Van Dam

Crowd is WAY behind Van Dam here. No time limit here after what happened at Living Dangerously. Hear those cheers Paul? They’re the ones drowning out the music. I think they’re chanting “Heyman push this freaking man you freaking idiot!” Lynn is another guy I like more every time I see him so this should be solid. They do a decent mat wrestling sequence to start but not as good as last time.

NICE there as Lynn goes for a counter he used at Living Dangerously and RVD gets out of the way of it this time. THAT is psychology people. They’re doing a start and stop thing here where they do a sequence and then walk around for awhile. The action is good but it’s like pausing it and watching a match in pieces which isn’t good. Good night wrestle already! Yeah they’re wrestling, but only in pieces.. We’ve had maybe 2 and a half minutes of action out of five minutes gone by.

Sweet springboard dropkick from Lynn. See what I mean by when they actually do stuff it’s good? Fonzie is yelling about how this is what the 19.95 the fans paid for is all about. Creative line if nothing else. Van Daminator misses. And Lynn might be hurt so we can kill more time. Something tells me this had about 20 minutes planned rather than the 27 it wound up getting due to the amount of stalling here. Lynn does the corner rollup that Booker T used for a long time.

I think this is the match that aired on the debut of ECW on TNN. On the floor we get a Van Daminator with Lynn making sure to hold the chair up so it hits. Hey look: more stalling! Did Larry Zbyszko book this or something? Half of this has been on the floor too. Lynn hits a sunset powerbomb through a table which more or less explodes. Ok stalling after big spots at least makes sense. Fonzie has a chair pelted at him and down he goes.

They botch the heck out of something and the fans let them know about it. Lynn hits a Van Daminator for two. Van Dam hits Starship Pain minus the twisting. There’s your five star but Lynn rolls him up for two. Van Dam hits his third Van Daminator out of about 7 tried. Another Five Star ends it. Good but not great. They high five after the match which is always a good sign.

Rating: B. This is a good match, but not a classic like everyone says it is. There are some major holes in it, with the main one being the standing around. The Van Daminators got OLD fast. We get it. You can kick someone holding a chair. We’ll ignore how stupid the move is (hey he handed me a chair. I wonder what I should do with it.) for now.

The drama is there but it’s not epic. Solid though. Just far too much brawling and stalling for my taste, but it’s entertaining which is the main idea. Would have been way better with five to seven less minutes. Good match, but there was no shock or anything like that to make it great.

We’re at an hour and 58 minutes and Justin is all that’s left. That can’t be a good sign.

The Dudleys are mad at Taz. Oh dear. I think I can see it coming. And here’s Big Dick with Chris Chetti, who is Taz’s cousin. Guess what happens.

Justin Credible hype video. He hits a lot of people with canes and talks a lot. Yeah, really a guy to push huge Paul. He even sent Mikey and Sandman to WCW. Yeah such a terrible thing to do to them man.

Joey says Shane vs. Justin isn’t happening, which they knew weeks before this but advertised him through the pre show.

Here’s Justin with no opponent. He says what was shown in the video and it’s open challenge time.

Justin Credible vs. Sid

Oh dear. Good NIGHT how over is Sid? I have never gotten that once, but this guy got epic pops everywhere. I don’t think I get the idea of a squash on your heel that has been pushed like this but whatever. When someone is in the position for the powerbomb, why don’t they, maybe, move? You know, instead of holding the other guy’s legs, why not move?

This is ALL Sid here as he’s beating up the entourage too. Lance Storm runs in too. Crowd is WAY into Sid. Justin throws powder in Sid’s eyes…FOR A DISQUALIFICATION??? Or was this even a match? And here’s Sabu for the save, and he puts Sid through a table by mistake (don’t ask). Is there a point to any of this? And Sid powerbombs his manager for no apparent reason. Sid would be gone after this I believe.

Rating: F. A DQ. In ECW. THAT MAKES NO FREAKING SENSE!!!!!!!

Apparently it was just thrown out. Ok then.

Rating: F. A match being thrown out. In ECW. THAT MAKES NO FREAKING SENSE!!!!!!!

And at two hours and 15 minutes into the show, we’re out of matches. Joey says this too and here’s Bubba Ray. You cannot be serious.

Apparently D-Von broke his hand beating up Chetti, so instead of D-Von vs. Taz we get Bubba vs. Taz. It’s not April is it? Wow. They’re really doing this.

ECW World Title: Taz vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Yes. With Candido healthy, THIS is what Heyman decided to close a PAY PER VIEW WITH. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??? BUBBA FREAKING DUDLEY is main eventing a PPV in a world title match. I do not know what to say. They’re really doing this nonsense. I can’t believe it. And hey, it’s falls count anywhere. Catchphrase ahoy as we start the match. And we’re outside already.

Could that have anything to do with Bubba not being able to wrestle a standard match for more than a minute? Seriously, what did I do to deserve this? We hit the crowd now to waste more time. The falls counting anywhere helps here but not that much really. Taz is bleeding as we hit the concourse. Will someone pop that stupid beach ball? Back in the ring now. Taz hits a second rope Tazplex to start his comeback and there’s D-Von.

And we have tables. It’s ECW. Why not just hit 3D and get the title? Hmm let’s see. I can spend a few minutes setting up tables while the toughest guy in the company gets up. Sure why not? And they both throw the referee through a table. Bubba Bomb gets two as a new referee comes in. D-Von comes in again and STILL they don’t go for 3D. This is like a Wile E. Coyote cartoon. 3D is finally attempted and countered. Tazmission ends it.

Rating: F+. Bubba Ray Dudley was in the main event. Do I need to explain why this was awful? In case you’re wondering, there was no drama, the match made no sense, Taz was always going to win, and D-Von and Bubba just lost to Taz in a glorified handicap match. That’s why it sucked. Oh and did I mention: BUBBA RAY DUDLEY WAS IN THE MAIN EVENT??? Taz’s blood looked good though.

A music video ends this at a little over two and a half hours.

Overall Rating: F. No. No way. This show was unacceptable, period. People want to talk about how much of a genius Heyman is. People want to talk about how good for the business he is. This show is proof that even he isn’t as great as everyone says he is. This is what you call screwing the audience over. He advertised Shane up until five minutes to airtime and knew he wouldn’t be there.

He advertised Candido and Taz as the big match and gave it maybe a minute. He had BUBBA RAY DUDLEY main event the show in a one night angle. I can find no evidence ANYWHERE that suggests Candido was injured. Not a single thing. Let’s say for argument’s sake though that he was injured and the minute was all he can go. Ok, fine. Stuff like that happens. I understand that. Are you telling me that Bubba Ray Dudley was the best replacement they had? Are you out of your freaking minds? Take a look at the rest of the card.

Other than RVD/Lynn, what here is worth paying to see? Running down the card, we have the main event so there’s one thing worth paying to see, an unannounced tag match that had been done for the last two PPVs, back to back matches that were ok but I doubt anyone bought the show to see them, a brawl that could have been on any PPV but was bearable I guess, a good match, a match that didn’t have the billed people in it and was 2 minutes long, and Bubba Ray Dudley main eventing a show. Lynn and RVD keep this from being the worst ECW show ever, but not by much.

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