Smackdown
Date: March 7, 2008
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

Wrestlemania is less than a month away and that means we should be seeing some of the lower level matches starting to come together. Most of the card is already set with Undertaker vs. Edge feeling like a huge match. Other than that we have Batista vs. Umaga in a Raw vs. Smackdown match and Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr. in a match that could go on either show. We’ll need more than that so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

We open with Vickie Guerrero and Edge, with Teddy Long in the corner, on the Cutting Edge. After praising Vickie, Edge talks about how he has never lost to Undertaker, making him the real Phenom. Vickie makes Edge/the Edgeheads vs. Undertaker for tonight, which Edge finds very hot. With that out of the way, there is someone else who is going to be losing his 35 year career at Wrestlemania.

That brings us to tonight’s guest, so here is Ric Flair. Edge welcomes him to the show but wants to know what it’s going to be like when Flair loses at Wrestlemania. Flair promises to beat Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania but Edge doesn’t exactly sound convinced. Fans: “YOU SUCK!” Flair: “Your fans are talking to her.” Edge asks Flair about losing to the Undertaker at Wrestlemania, which Flair says is something you never forget.

Losing to Undertaker didn’t hurt his career, but he came at it differently. Edge is the one with a sham of a relationship, which sends Vickie into a rant. After calming her down, Edge says Flair needs to watch the handicap match tonight, because he’ll have his own next week. Oh and let’s make that a cage match. Edge WOOs in his face but gets slapped, with Flair bailing from violence.

CM Punk/Jesse & Festus vs. Miz/John Morrison/Chavo Guerrero

That’s quite the good guy team. Festus clears the ring at the bell until we settle down with Miz vs. Punk to start. Miz manages a quick hot shot and brings in Chavo, who gets backdropped just as fast. Jesse comes in for a backdrop and basement dropkick but Morrison shoves him off the top. This has Festus ready to smash but we take a break instead (probably a good idea).

We take a break and come back with Morrison working on Jesse’s arm. That doesn’t last long either as Jesse slips away and hands it off to Festus to clean house. Everything breaks down with Jesse and Punk hitting dives onto Morrison and Chavo. Back in and the fireman’s carry flapjack gives Festus the pin on Miz.

Rating: C. What else were you expecting here? The good thing is that we didn’t have to sit through too much more of Chavo vs. Punk, as that is a match that has been driven into the ground in recent weeks. Other than that, Miz and Morrison get beaten again, even if it is from a team that is little more than a one off idea. Just find some more interesting challengers for both titles. It shouldn’t be that hard.

Jamie Noble is in the back with Michelle McCool and says he knows she has a thing for him. Noble gets it, but he’s a one woman man. She’s ok with it, and seem to have thought the same thing as Noble.

US Title: MVP vs. Batista

MVP is defending. They fight over a lockup to start with Batista powering him outside without much trouble. Back in and Batista knocks him outside again, though this time he follows him out to keep up the beating. They get back in with Batista starting in on the leg for a change, including a half crab. That’s enough for MVP to bail to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Batista hitting a running corner clothesline but MVP kicks the leg out. A running boot to the head, with the bad leg, gives MVP a bit of a desperation two and we hit the chinlock. Another kick to the leg takes Batista back down and a facebuster, on the bad knee, gives MVP a delayed two. It might not sound logical, but commentary is selling the idea that MVP is desperate to fight Batista so it does make some sense.

MVP kicks him out to the floor for another two and we’re off to a leglock to keep Batista down. Back up and MVP misses the running boot in the corner, allowing Batista to come back with the swinging Boss Man Slam for two. The spinebuster crushes MVP, whose low blow is blocked without much effort. They fight outside with Batista keeping up the beating, but MVP kicks him into the announcers’ table and beats the count to win.

Rating: C+. Well, at least MVP didn’t lose again. This screams setup for another match, hopefully where MVP can retain the title by pinning Batista, likely through some kind of shenanigans. These two got some time here and it was a decent match, though Batista in the US Title scene feels so out of place and it’s hard to fathom in a lot of ways.

We look at Hornswoggle being beaten down again.

Jamie Noble interrupts Edge and Vickie Guerrero, saying he wants a match with Chuck Palumbo. Vickie is annoyed so she gives him Big Show instead.

Mae Young Hall Of Fame video.

Kim Kardashian will be the guest hostess at Wrestlemania.

And now, a Divas swimsuit contest, featuring Eve Torres, Cherry, Maryse, Michelle McCool and Victoria. Apparently this is the first week of a four week competition to determine the Top Diva on Smackdown with one woman being eliminated each week. Not only will the winner get bragging rights but they will also win a….custom motorcycle? They all disrobe (Cherry looks nervous and Victoria dances badly) and we get the results next week because this is another Diva Search style contest. Oh and a fight breaks out because of course it does.

Video on Rey Mysterio being injured and having to undergo bicep surgery.

Kane vs. Chuck Palumbo

Kane powers him into the corner to start but Palumbo is back with some right hands of his own. A clothesline gives Palumbo two but Kane grabs the side slam. Palumbo tries to headbutt his way out of the chokeslam, only to get chokeslammed for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. Palumbo was trying here but we are way beyond the point of him meaning anything. The feud with Jamie Noble worked for a little while and then just went on for so much longer than it needed to that it killed any momentum. Kane is getting back on a roll and there is no reason to have him be in any major threat from Palumbo here.

Big Show vs. Jamie Noble

Show throws him into the corner and gets kicked low for the DQ in short order.

Show shrugs it off and chops Noble down before promising to end Floyd Mayweather Jr.’s career at Wrestlemania.

Raw Rebound.

Undertaker vs. Edge/Edgeheads

Undertaker beats up Hawkins to start and throws him into the corner, allowing Ryder to come in and get beaten down as well. Edge certainly seems nervous as Undertaker kicks Ryder in the head. A cheap shot cuts Undertaker off though and Edge gets to hammer away for a bit. The Edgeheads take turns splashing Undertaker but Edge’s swinging neckbreaker is countered into a DDT. Old School is loaded up but a distraction means that it has to be switched into a top rope armdrag (ok then). The Edgeheads distract Undertaker again though and Edge hits the spear for the pin.

Rating: C-. It was quick and to the point here but at least Edge finally got something over on Undertaker. You can only have Undertaker beat him up every week for so long before it stops having any real impact. There is almost no way that Undertaker is leaving Wrestlemania without the title, but at least they are putting on a good story on the way there.

Edge and Undertaker glare at each other to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They were going up and down this week and that wasn’t the most thrilling show. Undertaker vs. Edge is good and Batista vs. MVP, while not a long term story, is doing well enough, but stuff like the women fighting over a motorcycle isn’t exactly thrilling. Get rid of some of the lame parts and the better portions can take over.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: February 29, 2008
Location: Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Attendance: 5,200
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

We are just over a month away from Wrestlemania XXIV and most of the top of the card is set. That means that the following weeks can be for a mixture of firming up the main events and building up the lower half of the card. That can include quite a few things and we’ll start this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at the Wrestlemania press conference.

Opening sequence.

Big Show vs. Joey Ryans/Jay Garland

Ryans is….well I think you can guess and this is Show’s first WWE match in over a year. We hear about Show wanting to be a boxer but not being able to get anyone to take his fights. Garland gets chokeslammed and Ryans gets punched in the corner. A right hand knocks Ryans silly for the easy pin.

Post match Show talks about how Floyd Mayweather Jr. may be facing Oscar de la Hoya in September. It’s just a rumor, and Show is here to stop that rumor. Show is going to break everything in Mayweather, including his spirit. There isn’t going to be a Mayweather vs. de la Hoya fight, but Show vs. de la Hoya is possible. That $20 million that Mayweather is getting for the Wrestlemania match (right) isn’t going to be enough for the pain he’ll be experiencing.

Deuce N Domino vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

Cherry is here with Deuce N Domino. Yang and Domino get things going with Domino missing an elbow drop so Yang can grab a headlock. Moore comes in and gets hit in the face a few times before headscissoring Domino into the corner. Back up and Domino sends Moore HARD out to the floor (that was a scary landing), setting up something like a seated abdominal stretch back inside.

Commentary argues about old westerns and whether Asians can be rednecks (oh dear) as Domino pulls Moore down by the hair and knocks Yang off the apron. Not that it matters as the hot tag goes through a few seconds later, with Yang getting to clean a few rooms. The moonsault press misses though and Cherry pulls Moore off the apron. That leaves Yang to slip out of a belly to back suplex and now the moonsault press can connect for the pin on Deuce.

Rating: C. I’m glad to see Yang and Moore sticking around a bit longer, as they have been a rather nice little bright spot between here and ECW. I’m not sure what that is going to mean for them in the long term, but at least they are doing something for the time being. Deuce N Domino….yeah how long were you expecting a greaser gimmick to last? Maybe having them actually do something as champions might have helped.

Edge and Vickie Guerrero make honeymoon plans, with Edge thinking Canada. Vickie loves Canadians but the Edgeheads interrupt their romance. That’s ok with Edge, who sends Zack Ryder after Undertaker tonight.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Jamie Noble

Yes, AGAIN and Michelle McCool is here with Noble. Palumbo misses a charge into the corner and Noble strikes away before pulling on an armbar over the ropes. Back up and Palumbo dumps him to the floor without much effort but a McCool distraction breaks up whatever Palumbo has planned (probably some kind of wrestling move).

They head back inside with Palumbo hitting an overhead belly to belly superplex for two, leaving Palumbo stunned. Noble manages a Fujiwara armbar until the rope is grabbed, allowing Palumbo to hit a hard slam. An enziguri sends Palumbo into the corner for a Cannonball but he rakes Noble’s eyes across the top. The Overdrive finishes Noble off.

Rating: C. The more I watch these matches the more I believe WWE has just forgotten where they were going with the story but keep it going for lack of anything better for the two of them. Palumbo is still his old, not that interesting self and now Noble, who has been the good guy in the whole thing, is a loser. What else is there for these two to do? And it isn’t like McCool has gained anything either, making this quite the waste of time.

Vickie Guerrero is in the back with Teddy Long and Maryse, with the latter praising Vickie until Batista comes in. Batista has heard about this Raw vs. Smackdown challenge and wants to face Umaga. Maryse likes the idea (and maybe Batista) so Vickie sets the match.

Batista/Kane vs. MVP/Great Khali

Feels like they pressed the random button in Smackdown vs. Raw. Kane and Khali start things off with Khali pounding him into the corner. MVP comes in and gets backdropped, setting up the basement dropkick, which always feels weird from Kane. It’s off to Batista, who charges into an elbow in the corner.

Kane is right back in to big boot MVP down for two as commentary thinks we’ll be talking about the recent Elimination Chamber match for years to come. I wouldn’t get my hopes up on that one. The spinebuster plants MVP but Khali breaks up the Batista Bomb as we take an early break.

Back with Khali shoving Batista down and sending him outside without much trouble. Khali runs him over again back inside and actually covers for two, showing more mobility than usual. Batista gets over for the tag off to Kane to fire off on Khali in the corner. This lasts all of five seconds before Khali knocks him backwards. MVP comes in so Kane grabs him by the throat, earning a chop from Khali on the apron (makes sense).

The cravate doesn’t hold Kane down for very long as he powers up and slams MVP down for a breather. MVP cuts him off with a kick to the head though as this heat is getting some time. Kane finally knocks MVP down though and the hot tag brings in Batista to clean house. Everything breaks down and Khali chops Batista right back down, only to have the Vice Grip reversed into the spinebuster. MVP makes the save so Batista spears Khali down for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was a near shockingly good match as they worked the formula and got some time, making it into a match where I wanted to see how it ended. What mattered the most here though was MVP didn’t take the fall, which had me worried throughout. Khali has nothing going on at the moment and thankfully WWE realized he should be taking the pin.

Eve Torres comes out to introduce High Chief Peter Maivia and Rocky Johnson for the Hall of Fame, with the Rock inducting them. I get that she has to do something, but the Hall of Fame announcement (even one repeated from Raw) doesn’t feel exactly right for someone who has been around for all of a few months.

Jesse & Festus vs. Miz/John Morrison

Non-title but before the match, we get a clip from the Dirt Sheet with a completely genuine conversation between the teams, which makes Jesse & Festus sound a bit dumb. The bell rings and Festus jumps Miz and Morrison before sending the former into the corner for a running shot to the face.

A headbutt lets Jesse come in with a middle rope elbow and even knock Morrison off the apron. Miz gets smart by taking a breather on the floor and Jesse gets taken down back inside. That lasts all of a few seconds as an easy escape sets up the hot tag to Festus. House is cleaned and Festus sits on Morrison’s chest and grabs the fireman’s carry flapjack for the pin.

Rating: C. The champs lose again (after losing on ECW to Tommy Dreamer and Colin Delaney), which is far too common of a trope in WWE. At least Jesse and Festus are a bit better team, but it isn’t like they’re the next great thing. Other than the good looking flapjack, there wasn’t much to be seen here, especially after that rather awesome…Khali match?

Raw Rebound.

Big Daddy V vs. Balls Mahoney

Matt Striker is here with V. Mahoney gets beaten down to start and there’s the swinging Boss Man Slam. The corner splash and Samoan drop crush Mahoney….and there’s the Undertaker’s gong. The lights go out and Undertaker POWER WALKS to the ring (egads) to beat V outside. Mahoney gets chokeslammed too as it’s a no contest because DQ’s are passe or something.

Post match Undertaker says death waits for no man, so Edge needs to send his minion to Undertaker’s yard.

Undertaker vs. Zack Ryder

Edge and Curt Hawkins are here too. Ryder bails to the floor to start and a distraction lets him get in a few cheap shots. That earns Ryder a hard posting and there’s the kick to the side of the head. The beating continues back inside before Undertaker throws him over the top in a heap. Ryder tries to come in off the top but Hawkins has to save him from a chokeslam. Some right hands in the corner just annoy Undertaker so he throws Ryder into the corner to hammer away. Snake Eyes into the big boot set up the chokeslam and choke, which is enough to draw Edge in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. More or less a squash here for Undertaker and that’s all it needed to be. A heel like Edge has minions for a reason and Undertaker got to wreck one of them on the way to Wrestlemania. Ryder is nowhere near ready to be a challenge to Undertaker so this went as it should have gone. It doesn’t make it interesting, but it was logical.

Post match Undertaker is having none of this and beats up the Edgeheads, including the choke to Hawkins. Undertaker holds up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Undertaker vs. Edge is starting to feel like a big deal and that is how a major Wrestlemania match should come off. The match got another hard push here and when you add in….Great Khali having the match of the night…..it was a pretty decent show. They need something else to build up aside from Edge vs. Undertaker, but they still have a few weeks to make that work.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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