Impact Wrestling – November 17, 2016: The New New Divide

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Date: November 17, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Jesse Godderz vs. Aron Rex

Due to the attack last week, Gail Kim is forced to vacate the Knockouts Title.

Hardy and Edwards get to face the DCC in an anything goes handicap match tonight.

Sienna/Laurel Van Ness vs. Brandi Rhodes/???

Trevor Lee vs. Ethan Carter III vs. Lashley vs. Mike Bennett

The fans want someone to kill the troll as Carter takes some shoulders in the corner. Ethan comes right back and loads up a double 1%er, only to get speared in half by Lashley. A cutter drops Lashley and a deadlift German suplex gives Lee two on Carter. Bennett starts snapping off superkicks and spinebusters, only to have Lashley give him the real spinebuster. Lee suplexes Lashley to block the spear (sweet counter) and dives over the top to take out Carter and Lashley. Back in and Carter grabs a sleeper to make Lee tap at 14:07.

Reby and Matt look at some Broken Matt videos and Matt is terrified of the chaos.

Decay threatens Jade with destruction at the hands of Rosemary.

Basile Baraka vs. Mahabali Shera

Rating: D. Why is this still a thing? I know they need to fill in time but is this really the best they have? Or is Shera just there to keep the Sony Six people happy? Neither guy is interesting and the Tribunal, which could have been at least something, has turned into one of the least interesting acts in a long time.

Post match the Tribunal beats Shera down until Al Snow makes the save. Josh: “AL SNOW IS TRENDING WORLDWIDE ON TWITTER RIGHT NOW!” Does Josh know that trending on Twitter is a real thing and not just a random statement? Snow and Shera shake hands, which Josh calls the Mega Powers uniting. He might be the greatest troll announcer ever and I doubt he has any idea of it.

Eddie Edwards/Jeff Hardy vs. DCC

Results

Jesse Godderz b. Aron Rex – Adonis Lock

Brandi Rhodes/Madison Rayne b. Sienna/Laurel Van Ness – Downward Spiral to Sienna

Ethan Carter III b. Lashley, Trevor Lee and Mike Bennett – Sleeper to Lee

Mahabali Shera b. Basile Baraka – Camel clutch

DCC b. Eddie Edwards/Jeff Hardy – Last Call to Hardy

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Impact Wrestling – November 3, 2016: On the Outside Looking in

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Date: November 3, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Grand Championship: Aron Rex vs. Jesse Godderz

Back up and Rex gets rolled up for two before headbutting Jesse into the corner. A slow motion powerslam gets two on Rex but the round ends as the Adonis Lock goes on. Round two goes to Godderz and we take a break before round three. Back with Rex getting punched in the face as Jesse would be smart to waste time. The champ rakes the eyes though and a big right hand retains the title at 12:24.

Video on Team X Gold, another unnecessary concept. Team Go For Broke respects each other.

Marshe Rockett/Trevor Lee/Andrew Everett vs. Rockstar Spud/Decay vs. Go For Broke

Video on Eddie winning the X-Division Title.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. DCC

Ethan Carter III (because transitions mean NOTHING in TNA) is going to call out Eli Drake.

Video on Eddie losing the X-Division Title to Lashley and losing his mentor right around the same time. Then he won the World Title and now believes anything is possible.

TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Lashley

They head outside with Eddie chopping him up against the barricade but getting dropped throat first across the steel. Some choking with a wristband takes us to the last break. Back with Lashley in full control with a chinlock and a knee to the face. The champ fights back and sends Lashley outside for a suicide dive.

A Shining Wizard gets two on Lashley, who comes right back with a Dominator for the same. They head outside for a few moments before Eddie misses a top rope double stomp. Lashley pulls the referee in the way and then hits the spear for two, earning the second referee a right hand to the face. The first referee goes to call for the DQ but the Boston Knee Party gives Eddie the fast counted pin at 18:53.

Results

Aron Rex b. Jesse Godderz – Right hand

Go For Broke b. Marshe Rockett/Trevor Lee/Andrew Everett and Rockstar Spud/Decay – Flatliner to Spud

Hardys b. DCC via DQ when the third DCC member interfered

Eddie Edwards b. Lashley – Boston Knee Party

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Impact Wrestling – October 27, 2016: The Slow Before the Show

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Date: October 27, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Ethan Carter III/Jesse Godderz vs. Aron Rex/Eli Drake

We look back at Maria attacking Brandi last week.

Maria is running her mouth when Brandi comes in, sending Maria scampering.

Rockstar Spud teases who he has for his Team X Gold teammates.

DJZ/Braxton Sutter/Mandrews vs. Rockstar Spud/Decay

Cody and Brandi call this personal.

We recap Allie getting beaten down last week.

Back from a break with Jeff, in costume, mowing the lawn into his logo.

Laurel Van Ness vs. Allie

Madison Rayne is on commentary again. Laurel drives her into the corner to start and shrugs off a clothesline. They head outside where Laurel misses a charge into the steps to give Allie a chance. Back in and Allie scores off a double leg takedown and some right hands, setting up a rollup for two. Not that it matters as a curb stomp ends Allie at 4:33.

Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump come up to House Hardy. Senor Benjamin tazes Trump and Jeff asks what happened to the e-mails. Matt: “DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!” Ok I chuckled on that one. Jeff shouts about Boo Radley and Vanguard I chases Hilary away.

Godderz comes up to Rex and demands a title shot, which Rex actually grants.

Mike Bennett and Maria say they have what Cody and Brandi want.

Video on Lashley vs. Edwards.

Mike Bennett/Maria Kanellis-Bennett vs. Cody/Brandi Rhodes

Maria starts and tags out in less than three seconds, meaning the men will really get this going. Cody sends Mike into the corner and Maria slaps him in the face, almost drawing Brandi over for the fight. A cutter gives Mike two and we take a break. Back with Cody fighting out of trouble and slamming Mike down.

The bad looking offense results in Maria being sent into another low blow on Mike, followed by some kind of choke/half nelson from Brandi (the camera keeps moving around so we never get a clear shot of it). Cody adds a modified reverse Figure Four (I believe Jamie Noble used to call it the Trailer Hitch) for a double submission at 11:20.

Results

Aron Rex/Eli Drake b. Jesse Godderz/Ethan Carter III – Revelator to Godderz

DJZ/Braxton Sutter/Mandrews b. Rockstar Spud/Decay – ZDT to Spud

Laurel Van Ness b. Allie – Curb stomp

Cody/Brandi Rhodes b. Maria Kanellis-Bennett/Mike Bennett – Double submission

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Impact Wrestling – October 20, 2016: I Think We Have A Bad Connection

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Date: October 20, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Moose vs. Lashley

The Tribunal talks about wanting respect but the feed cuts out to hear from the three masked men. Chaos arrives tonight.

Tyrus ad.

Since Rex beat Edwards for the Grand Championship, that makes him the man around here. Rex says none of them have anything on the man who is Bound For Gold. This brings Rex around to Ethan Carter III, who Drake says is bound for the dumpster. Cue Carter but Drake sends it to a break, complete with a TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES DUMMIES graphic. This segment gets better and better every week.

Back with Carter in the ring and calling Eli out for a fight. He wants to destroy that set but wants Eli to press the button so he can punch Drake (YEAH!), kick Drake (YEAH!) or choke Drake (YEAH!). Eli pushes the button over and over so Carter dives on the security and the fight is on. Rex tries to break it up but Jesse Godderz (who Rex insulted during his interview) comes out to go after Aron. Security breaks it up.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Tribunal

Allie is getting ready to stand up to Maria when Braxton Sutter comes up. That goes nowhere as Laurel Van Ness comes in to say Maria has something to say to Allie. Laurel hits on Braxton a bit too.

We look back at the end of Gail vs. Maria from last week.

Ethan Carter III and Jesse Godderz want to face Aron Rex and Eli Drake next week.

Mahabali Shera vs. Mike Bennett

Video on Eddie vs. Cody.

TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Cody

Cody is challenging and has Brandi Rhodes in his corner. Feeling out process to start and a double dropkick gives us a standoff. Back from a break with Cody getting kicked down to the mat, only to have him chop Eddie into an armbar. Eddie fights up again but eats the Beautiful Disaster, followed by a springboard dive to the floor.

A slam on the ramp sets up a modified Muscle Buster on the champ for another near fall and Cody is getting frustrated. The champ is loaded up for a superplex but reverses into a small package (looked horrible as Cody was laying on the mat and then raised up to get to the pin) to retain at 13:05.

A MMA/professional wrestler

A former NFL player

The freakshow with magical powers

A loudmouth with a model wife who was treated like a huge deal on arrival

A guy who likes to dance and hired a fixer to do his fighting for him

The son of a legend who was literally given a World Title shot without winning a single match

Results

Lashley b. Moose – Middle rope spear

Hardys b. Tribunal – Twist of Fate to Baraka

Mike Bennett b. Mahabali Shera – MIP

Eddie Edwards b. Cody – Small package

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Impact Wrestling – October 13, 2016: Suddenly, A Change

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Date: October 18, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Grand Championship: Aron Rex vs. Jesse Godderz

Cody vs. Mike Bennett

Moose is ready for Ethan.

X-Division Title: Marshe Rockett vs. DJZ

Knockouts Title: Maria Kanellis-Bennett vs. Gail Kim

Eli Drake tells Ethan not to choke tonight.

Moose vs. Ethan Carter III

Lashley comes out to stare down Moose as the show ends.

Results

Aron Rex b. Jesse Godderz – Revelator

Cody b. Mike Bennett – Cross Rhodes

DJZ b. Marshe Rockett – ZDT

Gail Kim b. Maria Kanellis-Bennett – Eat Defeat into a trashcan lid

Moose b. Ethan Carter III – Discus lariat to the back of the head

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Impact Wrestling – September 8, 2016: We Want Wrestling And Hat Eating Giraffes!

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Date: September 8, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Senor Benjamin and Vanguard I tell us that these segments will be performed by professionals and no animals were harmed in making this.

We see a clip from last week with Reby saying prepare the battlefield.

Senor Benjamin digs graves for Decay as we hear an operatic version of the Obsolete song.

Matt tells Senor Benjamin to prepare the personal zoo for visitation.

This brings out Dixie Carter of all people to say people are here to watch wrestling. Tell me Dixie: how much time is Final Deletion II getting tonight? Mike says no one appreciates either himself or Maria but he knows Dixie is about to put him in the main event. Dixie says not so fast because Mike will be in a match against, of course, Moose. Mike and Maria wisely run off.

Gail Kim/Jade vs. Allie/Sienna

3 rounds

3 minutes per round

The match can end at any time but each round is scored on a 10 point system and if no one wins in the nine minute time limit (yes a nine minute time limit), three judges will declare a winner.

Grand Championship Tournament First Round: Braxton Sutter vs. Drew Galloway

During the break, Rockstar Spud attacked Sutter.

The brawl continued after a break with Lashley throwing Carter out of a door and through some wood.

Video on Jesse Godderz and how excited he is for the Grand Championship tournament.

Grand Championship Tournament First Round: Eli Drake vs. Jesse Godderz

Drake hammers away in the corner and gets two off a DDT. A powerslam gets the same but Jesse gets in a forearm, followed by the Adonis Lock. Drake rides out the clock to end the round and it goes to Godderz again. The final round begins with Drake hitting some kind of a powerbomb but getting caught in the Adonis Lock again. An Angle Slam gets two on Eli, only to have him hit Blunt Force Trauma for the quick pin at 9:24 total.

Matt sends Reby back to the house as Decay hides behind ye olde dilapidated boat. Abyss tells someone to get to the house and Jeff dropkicks the boat into the water. Cue Senor Benjamin to say Matt needs the boat. Jeff disappears and Benjamin starts pulling the boat but Joseph Park walks out of the water. Park: “Brother Benjamin! I loved you in Final Deletion!” Benjamin tazes Park and puts him in a conveniently placed bulldozer.

Results

Jade/Gail Kim b. Sienna/Jade – Silencer to Jade

Drew Galloway b. Braxton Sutter – Iron Maiden

Eli Drake b. Jesse Godderz – Blunt Force Trauma

 

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Impact Wrestling – May 3, 2016: Shut Up Already

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Date: May 3, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We look at Bennett pinning Carter last week.

Mike Bennett vs. Jeff Hardy

Abyss vs. James Storm

Maria wants Dixie to look at some papers. Jade better be smarter than Gail Kim was.

Jeff Hardy is more concerned about winning the title tonight than Matt.

King of the Mountain Title: Bram vs. Eli Drake vs. Andrew Everett vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Jesse Godderz

Eddie grabs a half crab on Drake but Everett breaks it up for no logical reason. Edwards sends him out to the floor and hits a big dive, only to have Drake get in a cheap shot from behind for a rollup and pin to become eligible. Bram sets up a ladder and gets the belt but Jesse dropkicks him down. Drake slams Jesse but the champ comes back in for a Cactus Clothesline.

Drake tries to cash in post match but Bram gets up and chases him off.

Jeff Hardy vs. Lashley vs. Mike Bennett

Back with Jeff still fighting off both guys but eating a powerslam from Lashley. A long delayed vertical suplex, complete with a point to Galloway, plants Bennett. The spear hits Galloway though, followed by Bennett hitting the cutter on Lashley. Jeff dropkicks Bennett to the floor and adds the Swanton on Lashley for no count.

Bennett is sent face first into the steps over and over, followed by a Swanton onto Bennett on the steps. Cue the Decay for no apparent reason to go after Hardy, including a chokeslam onto the steps. Decay leaves so Lashley spears Jeff into the post for a great looking crash. Another spear gives Lashley the pin and the title shot at 14:02.

Lashley and Drew brawl to end the show.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Mike Bennett via DQ when Lashley interfered

Abyss b. James Storm – Black Hole Slam

Bram b. Eli Drake, Andrew Everett, Eddie Edwards and Jesse Godderz – Bram hung the title

Lashley b. Jeff Hardy and Mike Bennett – Spear to Hardy

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Impact Wrestling – February 16, 2016: As Always

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 16, 2016
Location: MEN Arena, Manchester, England
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Opening sequence.

King of the Mountain Title: Eric Young vs. James Storm

Young is defending and gets taken down in a hurry with Storm sending him into the corner. Storm gets sent to the floor though, allowing Eric to take over back inside. An elbow to the face gets two and a neckbreaker gets the same. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Storm fights up with some clotheslines. Roode intercepts Bram and all four guys brawl to the floor for the double countout at 4:07.

All four fight into the crowd.

Mike Bennett vs. Mandrews

Post match Bennett keeps pounding on Mandrews until Drew Galloway makes the save.

Post break and Bennett beats down Galloway and Mandrews in the back.

Odarg the Great (notice the spelling) is coming.

We look back at Angle vs. Lashley from last year.

Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Decay

Abyss pulls out Janice and before I can type “and he swings it, only to get it caught in the turnbuckle pad because HE ALWAYS GETS IT CAUGHT IN THE TURNBUCKLE PAD”, he swings it, only to get it caught in the turnbuckle pad because HE ALWAYS GETS IT CAUGHT IN THE TURNBUCKLE PAD. That means more violence as Abyss piles up chairs until Eddie gets up for the save, setting up sunset bomb onto the chairs.

Gail Kim/Madison Rayne vs. Jade/Marti Bell

Post match, the Dollhouse beats down Gail and Madison until Velvet Sky makes the save. Velvet wants Lethal Lockdown next week.

Jesse Godderz/Eli Drake vs. Mahabali Shera/Odarg the Great

Jesse has some better luck by taking Shera to the mat and setting up something like a Demolition Decapitator. Back up and the hot tag brings in Odarg to clean house as everything breaks down. A Sky High gets two on Jesse as Drake goes after the mask. Odarg pulls it off instead and rolls Drake up (looking him right in the face) for the pin at 5:00.

Matt Hardy/Tyrus vs. Ethan Carter III

Results

James Storm vs. Eric Young went to a double countout

Mike Bennett b. Mandrews – Miracle in Progress

Wolves b. Decay – Brainbuster onto a chair to Steve

Odarg the Great/Mahabali Shera b. Eli Drake/Jesse Godderz – Rollup to Drake

Ethan Carter III/Rockstar Spud b. Tyrus/Matt Hardy – 1%er to Hardy

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Impact Wrestling – January 19, 2016: The Future Is Dark With This One

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Date: January 19, 2016
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Opening sequence.

Jeff Hardy vs. Tyrus

Tyrus throws him into the corner to start but Jeff botches something off the top, sending him down and tweaking his knee. The big guy slowly starts working on the knee by wrapping it around the ropes and post. The referee tries to make the save but gets shoved down to DQ Tyrus at 2:58.

Jeff gives Tyrus a Twisting Stunner post match.

Knockouts Title: Awesome Kong vs. Gail Kim

We look back at Jeff getting injured earlier in case you have a really short attention span.

Beer Money vs. Eli Drake/Jesse Godderz

We look at Jeff injuring his knee for the third time in forty minutes.

Post break a woman comes up to Lashley and whispers that his pain is her pleasure.

Mike Bennett vs. Pepper Parks

Post match Bennett talks about building a kingdom of miracles where everyone says “yes we do.”

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III

Carter is defending and this is last man standing. Matt jumps him during the big match intros but Carter spears him right back and hammers away. Hardy is quickly on the floor (some hero) and Ethan drives him into various objects for an early four. A suplex onto the ramp allows Ethan to set up a pair of tables. Matt puts Ethan on both of them but gets caught on the top with a right hand. Instead Matt suplexes him back inside and we take a break.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Tyrus via DQ when Tyrus shoved the referee

Gail Kim b. Awesome – Pin after throwing Jade onto Kongo

Beer Money b. Eli Drake/Jesse Godderz – DWI to Godderz

Mike Bennett b. Pepper Parks – Divine Intervention

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Impact Wrestling – January 12, 2016: All Over Again

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Date: January 12, 2016
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

Quick video on Angle vs. Galloway.

Opening sequence.

Jeff Hardy vs. Shynron

Ethan sits in on commentary as Shynron grabs a wristlock. Jeff dropkicks the masked man in the back to put him on the floor but something like a 619 over the apron takes Jeff down again. Back in and the Twist of Fate is broken up but a Tajiri handspring into a moonsault results in a crash. Jeff throws him up for a powerbomb but drops back for a crash. The Twist of Fate puts Shynron away at 2:23.

Dollhouse vs. Beautiful People

King of the Mountain Title: Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young

Mr. Anderson is ready for his new talk show, entitled “Huh?”.

We look back at the Bound For Glory main event and the fallout that lead to the tournament, including Ethan getting the title back.

Drew Galloway is in the crowd for storytime. Drew makes a guarantee to all of the fans here and at home: tonight will be an absolute spectacle in celebration of one of the best of all time.

Young and Bram celebrate their win and promise to get rid of Beer Money again.

Wolves/Tigre Uno vs. Jesse Godderz/Eli Drake/DJZ

Off to Drake for a nice powerslam but Eddie hurricanranas both of them down and makes the hot tag to Davey. Everything breaks down Jesse clotheslines DJZ by mistake. The powerbomb into a backstabber is broken up and Jesse puts Eddie in the Adonis Lock, only to have DJZ break it up as payback on Godderz. Davey kicks Jesse in the head, setting up a brainbuster for the pin at 6:44.

Jeff tells Matt to go for the title again.

Drew Galloway vs. Kurt Angle

Drew takes him to the top but gets punched into the Tree of Woe, only to have Drew sit up into a superplex. Galloway wins a quick slugout but misses a charge into the post, setting up the second Angle slam for two. With nothing else working, Kurt takes him to the top for the super Angle slam and the pin at 15:10.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Shynron – Twist of Fate

Dollhouse b. Beautiful People – Package piledriver to Rayne

Eric Young b. Bobby Roode – Piledriver

Tigre Uno/Wolves b. Eli Drake/Jesse Godderz/DJZ – Brainbuster to Godderz

Kurt Angle b. Drew Galloway – Super Angle slam

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