Monday Night Raw
Date: December 30, 1996
Location: Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 6,855
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross

It’s the last show of the year and we are closing in on the Royal Rumble. In this case that means we have a live show to close out 1996, which should be a decent one. Shawn Michaels is still after the WWF Title and Sid, but he doesn’t think much of Bret Hart either. I’m sure nothing will come of that so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Michaels and Hart’s recent issues, including at It’s Time.

Hart wants to see Michaels face to face.

Michaels says Hart is out of excuses.

Opening sequence.

Faarooq/Steve Austin vs. Jesse Jammes/Savio Vega

Hold on though as Austin jumps Jammes in the aisle (apparently not a fan of his singing). Vega slugs away at Austin and is willing to go it alone but can only get so far. Faarooq plants him with a spinebuster but walks into the spinwheel kick as we see Hart watching in the back. Austin stomps away in the corner and hits a running clothesline for two. Vega fights up again and rolls over for the tag to Jammes, who has managed to get back to his feet (if that wasn’t clear).

Jammes gets knocked out to the floor and Austin beats him up even worse, apparently injuring him. Cue Hart in street clothes to take Jammes’ place (which apparently he can just do) as we take a break. We come back with Faarooq holding Vega in a chinlock as Jammes has been taken to the back. Austin comes in for his own chinlock and cuts off the comeback with a shot to the face.

Faarooq plants Vega for two more and then does his cannonballs down onto Vega’s back. Vega manages to reverse into an electric chair and Hart comes in to clean house. The Sharpshooter is loaded up on Faarooq but the Nation Of Domination comes in for the DQ at 13:30.

Rating: C. Well it was kind of a mess, but it felt like another case of “hey, you need to keep watching to see what is going on”. That’s a nice thing to see after so much dull stuff, though that doesn’t really mean this was good. Hart was only involved at the end and the DQ saved Faarooq, who needs something to do at the moment.

Post match the beatdown is on but Ahmed Johnson, in some very striped pants, makes the save.

Intercontinental Title: Flash Funk vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Funk, with the Funkettes, is challenging. We get a pre-match interview from Helmsley, who says Goldust doesn’t deserve to be in the same ring as him. He’ll be showing Marlena what a real man does. Speaking of Goldust and Marlena, here they are to watch in the crowd, just like last week. Helmsley jumps him to start but Funk takes him with a quick rollup.

A backdrop and right hand have Helmsley in more trouble but he ducks a spinning crossbody. Helmsley sends him outside as Goldust and Marlena don’t look impressed. Back in and Helmsley stomps away before grabbing the reverse chinlock. We take a break and come back with Funk hiptossing his way out of an abdominal stretch but getting suplexed down.

A middle rope fist drop gives Helmsley two and he knocks Funk outside again. Back in and Funk grabs a belly to back suplex so Jerry Lawler gets off commentary to mock Goldust. Funk connects with a moonsault for two so he goes to yell at Lawler. That’s enough for Helmsley to get in a belt shot for the win at 12:13.

Rating: C+. Another nice win for Helmsley here, as he’s getting protected more often than not. What matters the most is that he is getting a nice boost and becoming a bigger deal. There are wrestlers who want the title and that’s only going to make the championship feel that much more important. Keep doing that kind of thing and see where it goes.

Post match Funk beats Helmsley up and crushes him with a 450.

Here are Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels for a face to face chat. Jim Ross brings up that Hart is facing Vader next week, with Michaels saying that he’ll be on commentary. Michaels mocks the idea of getting the first question, saying “the almighty” Hart can go first. Hart says that attitude is what he finds disrespectful. When Jose Lothario cost Michaels the WWF Title, he apologized the next day. When Michaels cost Hart the title at It’s Time, there was no apology at all.

Hart brings up the Playgirl shoot and suggests it doesn’t have much of a female audience. So whose man is Michaels? That’s enough for Michaels to take off his jacket as Hart threatens to kick his “a**”. Cue Sid, who wants competition, so cue the Undertaker. Vader comes out to jump Undertaker from behind but it’s broken up, with Undertaker stalking Vader to the back. Sid and Michaels get into it as well and Pat Patterson, with that amazing sweater, tries to break it up.

Goldust vs. Jerry Lawler

Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Honky Tonk Man are on commentary. We’re joined in progress with Helmsley distracting Goldust so Lawler can get in a cheap shot from behind. Lawler chokes away on the ropes but Goldust fights up with a running clothesline. Helmsley gets up to kidnap Marlena but Marc Mero cuts them off. This leads to a big crash and the countout at 2:49.

Marlena is hurt to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Definitely a somewhat better show this week, with the focus being more on the titles. If the WWF and Intercontinental Titles are treated as a bigger deal, the whole show is going to feel more important. That’s what we need to be seeing here, especially with the Royal Rumble coming up so soon.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 9, 1996
Location: New Haven Coliseum, New Haven, Connecticut
Attendance: 4,968
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

After last week’s less than thrilling show, it’s time to do something else to pick up the pace. Therefore, this week it’s the Undertaker vs. Mankind in a no holds barred match. I’m not sure how that is going to go, but even a short form version of those two fighting each other is worth a look. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look back at Undertaker vs. Mankind.

Sid vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Non-title. Sid jumps him in the aisle to start fast and sends him inside. The clothesline puts Helmsley back on the floor and there’s the chokeslam into the powerbomb. Helmsley crawls out for the countout at 2:57.

We look at the Boiler Room Brawl, with Mankind beating Undertaker at Summerslam 1996.

Goldust vs. Bart Gunn

Marlena is here with Goldust, who jumps Gunn to start. Gunn gets dropped throat first across the top rope and Goldust sends him outside to keep up the beating. Some shots to the ribs don’t get Gunn very far as Goldust grabs a suplex back inside. Billy Gunn is shown watching in the back and doesn’t think much of Bart’s efforts. Goldust grabs the chinlock for a bit before Gunn misses a charge into the buckle. We take a break and come back with Gunn hammering away in the corner. A running crossbody and bulldog give Gunn two but he misses a spinning high crossbody. Goldust chop blocks him for the pin at 5:59.

Rating: C. Eventually they’ll figure out that Gunn isn’t interesting but it might take some time to get there. At least Goldust got the win here, even if it was kind of a weird way to get there. Just not much of an interesting match, with the highlight being Billy’s rather snazzy cowboy outfit.

Post match here is Billy to say HE won the Tag Team Titles, with Bart just being along for the ride. Bart fights up and chases Billy off, limping as he goes.

Uncle Zebekiah and Justin Bradshaw are ready to make Jesse Jammes squeal.

We preview the Karate Fighters finals. Yes.

Justin Bradshaw vs. Jesse Jammes

Rematch from last week and Uncle Zebekiah is here with Bradshaw. Jammes jumps Bradshaw to start and even takes out Zebekiah. A Japanese armdrag takes Bradshaw down for two but he sends Jammes outside. Back in and Bradshaw and Zebekiah hammer away (the referee does at least chastise Zebekiah) as I guess this is a handicap match. Jammes rolls Zebekiah up for two but Bradshaw makes the save.

The double teaming in the corner is broken up but Bradshaw cuts him off with a side slam. Jammes comes back with a middle rope clothesline and loads up the pumphandle slam, which is broken up just as fast. Bradshaw grabs a full nelson and Zebekiah brings in his branding iron but hits Bradshaw by mistake, giving Jammes the pin at 5:49.

Rating: C. It’s a bad sign when I’m not even sure what the rules are for the match. That being said, I’ll take this over another singles match between the two of them, as they are only so good in the ring in the first place. This hasn’t been the most thrilling feud, but at least they mixed it up a bit here.

Post match Bradshaw beats Zebekiah up.

Here is Bret Hart for a chat about this title match with Sid at It’s Time. We recap Hart’s recent issues with Steve Austin, which lead to his issues with Sid. Hart has wanted to be WWF Champion again for the last six months and Sid is the only thing in his way. When Sid snaps, people call him Psycho, but when Hart snaps, they’ll call him the WWF Champion. That’s a great line to wrap it up.

Undertaker vs. Mankind

Anything goes and Paul Bearer is here with Mankind and his early distraction earns Mankind a boot to the face. The chokeslam hits less than a minute in but here is the Executioner to break up the Tombstone. Undertaker stalks him to the back and we take a break. We come back with Mankind hammering away on the floor but Undertaker goes after the Mandible Claw hand.

Said hand is stomped and crushed on the steps but Mankind takes out the leg. They’re quickly back on the floor, with Undertaker being sent knees first into the steps. Mankind drops the apron elbow onto the leg and they’re back in, with Undertaker barely being able to stand. They’re already back on the floor, with Undertaker throwing him over the announcers’ table.

We take another break and come back again with Mankind using a drop toehold of all things to escape a chokeslam attempt. Undertaker kicks and punches a chair into Mankind’s face but Mankind is fine enough to grab the Mandible Claw. That’s broken up with a ram into the corner though and Undertaker hits the Tombstone for the pin at 16:17.

Rating: B-. Not their best match, but it’s hard to beat what they’ve done before. What matters the most is that they were able to beat the living daylights out of each other for a good while, which is what they do as well as anyone else at the moment. Undertaker getting a clean win is a bit of a surprise, and the match did feel big for the show.

Post match Executioner comes in to choke Undertaker out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The main event helped it a lot and that’s the best thing on the entire card. Hart vs. Sid should be fine for a B show main event, with Hart’s closing line being a nice preview for the match. Other than that though, there wasn’t much to see on here, which was the case for a lot of shows around this time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 2, 1996
Location: New Haven Coliseum, New Haven, Connecticut
Attendance: 4,968
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re just done with Survivor Series and on the way to It’s Time, which means we could be in for a lot of Vader. That’s in theory only though, as Vader isn’t actually scheduled for the show, but the focus will be on Sid instead. He’s going to need some competition though and we might find out some more about that this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Flash Funk vs. The Goon

The Funkettes are here with Funk. Goon jumps him from behind to start fast and hammers away. Funk kicks him to the head and gets two off a sunset flip out of the corner. We go split screen to look at Sid vs. Bret Hart in London last week as Funk takes him down with an armbar. Goon is sent outside for a middle rope clothesline, followed by a top rope moonsault. We take a break and come back with Funk working on the armbar again. That’s broken up and Goon drops a middle rope elbow. Funk suplexes him out of the corner though and a moonsault legdrop finishes Goon at 9:04.

Rating: C-. Other than the cool finisher, there was no reason for this to go so long. At the end of the day, occasionally you need to see someone just get a squash win and that was the case here. Funk isn’t a big star, but he’s a bigger deal than the Goon and it shouldn’t have taken nine minutes to get to the proper result.

Last week in London, Steve Austin wasn’t happy. This was very Stone Cold and that’s only going to get better.

Diesel vs. Phineas Godwinn

The bell rings and we IMMEDIATELY cut to a split (and then full) screen look at Jerry Lawler breaking Tiny Tim’s ukulele back in July 1993. We actually go back to the match with Diesel hitting an elbow in the corner and a side slam. The running crotch attack to the back connects as Jim Ross hypes up Diesel and Razor Ramon getting a Tag Team Title shot at It’s Time. Phineas sends him into the corner and a belly to back suplex but here is Ramon for a distraction. The Jackknife finishes for Diesel at 3:43.

Rating: D+. As has been the case before, it’s not a good sign when the match is ignored for the sake of talking about something that has nothing to do with the match. In this case it was over three years old and had no major connection to anything here. If they don’t care about Diesel (and Razor Ramon), why keep having him on TV?

Shawn Michaels joins us to say he was defensive last week but not defensive enough. He’s fine with Sid hitting him with a camera at Survivor Series, but he’s not ok with Sid attacking Jose Lothario. Michaels goes into a rant about giving the fans what they want and promises to win the WWF Title back at the Royal Rumble. We also hear something about dragging skeletons out of the closet and having his navel pierced. If Michaels was on something here, I wouldn’t be the slightest bit surprised.

Justin Bradshaw vs. Jesse Jammes

Bradshaw has Uncle Zebekiah (Dutch Mantel) with him and Jammes is the former Roadie, who has since been revealed as the real singing voice behind Jeff Jarrett’s music career. Believe it or not, this wasn’t the big break he was looking for. Jammes crossbodies him to start and Bradshaw is already bailing out to the floor. Back in and Bradshaw shrugs ff some right hands before kicking Jammes in the face.

Jammes gets knocked into the ropes but comes back with a suplex. A swinging neckbreaker cuts that off in a hurry and Bradshaw yells at the referee for being slow. The sleeper is countered with a belly to back suplex (clearly something he learned from Jarrett) and Jammes starts the comeback. Some right hands and a dancing clothesline set up a knee lift but Jammes goes outside to yell at Zebekiah. Back in and Zebekiah trips him down, setting up Bradshaw’s lariat for the pin at 5:55.

Rating: C. Match of the night thus far, partially because it didn’t feel like it went on far too long. Bradshaw is basically what he would be for years to come, at least in the ring, while Jammes still isn’t showing much in the way of in-ring action. It’s a fine enough match, but it’s not like either of these two are known for what they do in the ring.

Jerry Lawler takes Sid’s place in the Karate Fighters tournament and beats Todd Pettingill.

Last week, the British Bulldog cut off Steve Austin from Pillmanizing Bret Hart’s leg. This led to a brawl in England last year, with Hart saving Bulldog. Then Sid beat up Hart, who can’t catch a break.

Owen Hart and Bulldog are ready to beat up Austin.

Bret Hart will see Austin down the road and wants to win the WWF Title again.

Sid is ready to beat up Bret at It’s Time.

Merc Mero/Jake Roberts vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley/Billy Gunn

Roberts chases Gunn into the ropes to start before hitting a running knee to the floor. We get a split screen interview with Jesse Jammes, who is ready to face Bradshaw again next week. Mero comes in to chase Helmsley out to the floor so Mero settles for a running knee to Gunn instead.

It’s back to Roberts to work on the arm before Mero chases Helmsley to the floor again. Gunn gets his arm cranked on even more as that’s the extent of the heroes’ offense. A backdrop gives Mero two and Roberts comes back in for the short arm clothesline. Gunn finally gets over to Helmsley, who gets to stomp on Roberts in the corner.

We take a break and come back with Helmsley grabbing a front facelock. Gunn gets to do the same but Roberts fights out for a double down. Mero comes in to clean house as Gunn and Helmsley get in an argument. Mero’s Samoan drop into the Wild Thing finishes Helmsley at 15:28.

Rating: C+. It was long and the parts with Roberts were rough, but I’ll take just about anything after this mess of a show. Mero is starting to figure things out in the ring at this point and it’s making for some fun watches. He’s already in the Intercontinental Title picture and that result is only going to get him closer.

Post match Roberts gives Helmsley the snake treatment to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. There’s a reason Monday Nitro was smashing through Raw at this point and…well ok it was the NWO, but this show wasn’t helping itself at all. Other than a just ok main event, there was nothing worth watching here and it was not an easy show to sit through. Maybe it gets better with some bigger names involved, but what we got here was not good and there was no way around it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 28, 1996
Location: War Memorial Coliseum, Fort Wayne, Indiana
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Things picked up last week and it couldn’t have come at a better point. The company basically has to restart after years of putting on horrible shows with uninteresting characters and it just happens to be up against one of the hottest angles of all time over in WCW. They have their work cut out for them but they also have Bret Hart and Steve Austin. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips of Austin destroying Brian Pillman’s ankle to write him out of the ring due to his horrible car wreck that basically ended his in ring career.

Jesse Jammes vs. Salvatore Sincere

Jammes is the REAL Double J despite the original Double J being nowhere to be seen. Well save for on Nitro that is. Jesse starts fast with a few right hands and clotheslines to send Salvatore to the floor. Back in and Sincere gets in a few shots, only to be slammed off the top to put him on defense again. A full nelson slam puts Sincere away a few seconds later.

Rating: D-. It’s always amazing to see what stupid gimmick could evolve into a moneymaker like the Road Dogg. This is one of those ideas that is so stupid and they had to know it was dead in the water but that’s what you have to work with. Jammes wound up turning it into something special because he has talent and because the company eventually realized the gimmick sucked. Why that isn’t the case today isn’t clear but I’m sure it’s NOT the company’s fault because that just can’t happen.

Dok Hendrix is ready to talk about the Hall of Fame but Austin cuts him off because no one cares about old people. Instead Dok runs down the Survivor Series card (including the debut of one Rocky Maivia, which is completely glossed over) and mentions that Bret is in Calgary tonight. Austin is NOT happy with that one and lets Dok have it as a result.

Crush vs. Aldo Montoya

JR comes out for commentary and keeps up his stupid heel run which went nowhere and no one wanted to hear because heel commentators get annoying in a hurry. Crush throws Aldo around to start but stops to yell at fans for calling him Jailbird. JR asks if the jockstrap on Aldo’s face was Vince’s idea as Crush ends it with the Heart Punch. JR: “That wouldn’t work on you Vince.” Just a squash.

Crush beats up a fan for calling him Jailbird.

We look back at Mr. Perfect swerving Marc Mero out of the Intercontinental Title last week. Perfect has been suspended, meaning he’s gone and off to WCW.

Speaking of Mr. Perfect, he wins his first round match in the Karate Fighters tournament.

We’re told that we’ll hear from Bret at his home tonight and Pillman from his home next week so Austin starts yelling again about how he had to go all the way to Connecticut instead of having the cameras come to Texas. Fair point actually. We’ll stick with Austin for now though and look at the attack on Pillman’s leg again. Austin wouldn’t even let Pillman be taken away in an ambulance. He’ll be at Pillman’s house next week and OH MAN IT’S THAT SHOW! Austin doesn’t want to hear about Vince caring about Bret because he’s just a greedy promoter.

We go to Bret’s house but freaking SUNNY’S music cuts it off as the audio screws up. She comes out to sit on Lawler’s lap and it’s time for guest commentary.

Billy Gunn vs. Freddie Joe Floyd

Yeah this instead of Bret’s response to Austin. Thanks WWF. The Gunns have basically split at this point without officially doing so. Freddie works on an armbar to start as Sunny talks about liking Billy’s smile. Billy sends him outside and here’s Bart to yell at his brother. That goes nowhere so Freddie hammers away and gets in an elbow to the jaw. A hotshot drops Freddie Joe and Billy’s top rope legdrop gives him the pin. Of note at the end: Vince says Sunny is just like Hillary Clinton who Sunny says will be the next President.

Rating: F. This was all about Billy getting a singles push, which just happened to be on the same night as the beginning of Jesse Jammes’ singles push. I love that kind of coincidence and it’s not something you’re going to see that often. You will however see a match like this again and the fact that it cut off the great Austin vs. Bret stuff makes it even worse.

Back to the debate with Bret giving his normal calm response which Austin interprets as Bret being scared. Bret doesn’t know if Austin has what it takes to beat him and the look on Austin’s face is downright scary. Vince asks Bret why Austin issued the challenge but Austin says it’s not over no matter what happens in the match. If Bret wants to get rid of him he’ll have to kill him.

Bret tries to get in his catchphrase but Austin cuts him off again before telling Bret to say something. Austin goes off on a production guy for counting him down to commercial and beats him up as a result. The fire in Austin gave me chills here and you can see the future right in front of your eyes.

British Bulldog vs. Shawn Michaels

Non-title again and Owen Hart is out for commentary. Bulldog runs him down with a shoulder to start and they have some miscommunication on a Bulldog leapfrog, resulting in an armdrag sending Smith out to the floor. Shawn tells him to bring it and lays on the top rope as Bulldog takes a long break. Of course there’s no counting or anything but that’s not the storyline so of course it doesn’t happen. Back in and Shawn grabs a headlock as we hear about the production guy calling the cops on Austin.

We take a break (and sit through a commercial for WWF Full Metal) and come back with Shawn fighting out of a chinlock but getting slammed down by the hair. That always makes me cringe. There’s the delayed vertical suplex from Bulldog and it’s back to the chinlocking. Shawn fights back again and gets two off a sunset flip before Bulldog runs him over again. We take a second break and come back with Bulldog running into the flying forearm. The powerslam doesn’t work and Shawn drops the top rope elbow, only to have Owen come in for the DQ.

Rating: B. These two always had some awesome chemistry together and they almost never had a bad match over several years. Shawn was clearly looking tired and it was time for a change but who else could they swap in that could come even close to his level of quality? He was going to have a good to excellent match against anyone he was in there against and that’s all that mattered at this point.

Sid comes in for the save so Owen issues a challenge for a tag match next week.

Austin is being arrested but he’s not worried because Vince will take care of his meal ticket at Survivor Series.

Overall Rating: D+. Steve Austin is a star and there’s no way anything is going to stop him. You can’t take your eyes off of him any time he’s on screen with the fire in those eyes staring holes through anything in front of him. The match with Bret can’t get here soon enough but there’s something very important to get through next week. The main event helps this out a lot but there are still a lot of bad things hanging around and they’re holding the rest of the show down. However, every time you see Austin you forget about all that stuff because he’s just that great right now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 7, 1996
Location: Hersheypark Arena, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 3,923
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Things have picked up a bit since we left off about ten months ago. Shawn Michaels is now the reigning WWF World Champion and the company is in a nosedive with the NWO running roughshod over the wrestling world. We’re coming up on In Your House: Buried Alive, meaning it’s going to be a lot of Undertaker vs. Mankind. Let’s get to it.

The opening video previews tonight’s events, including Shawn and Vader, Goldust vs. Sid and an interview with the REAL Double J (oh yeah that thing).

Opening sequence.

Mark Mero vs. Fake Diesel

Mero’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line. Jim Ross comes out with Diesel here as this stupid angle continues. For those of you not around at the time, the idea here was that JR turned heel (just go with it) and said he was the reason Diesel and Razor Ramon were around in the first place so he was bringing them back.

Now this could have been a good dig at WCW if the WWF was going with the idea that it was the WWF who created the characters and the people didn’t matter, but instead they were acting like these were the real people, thereby making JR look stupid. It didn’t help that Fake Razor looked like he was in a Razor Halloween costume. Fake Diesel on the other hand looked a lot like Diesel, at least if you didn’t get a good shot of his face. You would know Fake Diesel better as Kane.

Diesel charges into a boot in the corner to start and a dropkick puts him on the floor for a no hands dive. Back in and Diesel drops him throat first across the top rope to take over and slow things WAY down. The slow beating continues and we go to Fake Razor and WOW it’s even worse than I remember. His Cuban accent is as good as Lana’s Russian and thankfully we go to a break without having to listen to much more. Back with Mero rolling Diesel up for two and Razor coming out to watch. Mero dives onto Razor, which is probably the best thing he’s done all night. Ramon comes in for the DQ a few seconds later.

Rating: D. Mero and Diesel were actually having a half decent match but my goodness this has to be one of the dumbest stories I’ve ever seen. It’s not funny, it’s not clever, THEY DON’T EVEN LOOK LIKE THE PEOPLE THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE and the matches aren’t that good. Oh and stop trying to make JR a heel. It’s stupid.

The beating continues post match.

Undertaker has dug a grave for Mankind.

You can get a denim shirt with Bret, Undertaker or Shawn on the back for FORTY NINE BUCKS EACH. Sweet goodness no wonder I’ve never seen anyone wearing one of those things.

Mr. Perfect will be back in two weeks. Well kind of but not as they’re implying.

New Rockers vs. Smoking Gunns

I still can’t believe the Gunns were a thing in late 1996. Sunny has left the Gunns due to them losing the Tag Team Titles so they’re definitely on their last legs. With the Gunns in the ring, we go to pre-recorded comments from the two of them, saying they want the titles back so they can get Sunny with them. Sunny calls in to the show and isn’t happy that Ahmed Johnson will be on Livewire with her on Saturday.

Billy and Cassady (Leif Cassady, better known as Al Snow which I’m sure we’ve covered before) start things off as Sunny brags about how awesome she is and lists off the Livewire fax and e-mail contact information. Bart and Marty come in as Kelly apologizes for not calling the first two and a half minutes of the match. It’s not like anything was happening but it wasn’t the nicest thing in the world. Marty gets two off a small package and it’s time for JR to go on a rant about how much he hates Vince McMahon.

Bart gets punched down by Cassady (Marty was in there too but his punch didn’t make anything close to contact so I’m not counting him) and Leif plants him with a swinging Rock Bottom. Billy finally does something by kneeing Marty from the apron as the crowd is just silent. A low bridge sends the now legal Billy out to the floor and it’s Leif cleaning house with right hands. Billy makes a blind tag though and the Sidewinder puts Cassady away.

Rating: D. Long, slow and boring here which is one of the worst combinations you can have in a match. The tag division was such a mess around this time and it would take years to improve, oddly enough with Billy Gunn as one half of the least likely tag teams in wrestling history. But yeah, bad stuff here.

We recap the REAL Double J angle which involved Jeff Jarrett pretending to sing his big song With My Baby Tonight when it was really the Roadie singing the whole time. Both guys left for over a year and are finally back to reignite the feud. Of note here, as Roadie talks about everything that’s happened, Jim Johnston is seen next to him and is even mentioned by name. We see Jammes (Yes Jammes, not James.) accidentally tripping Jeff to cost him the Intercontinental Title, which was his last appearance for a long time. We’ll get more next week, even if Jarrett would be WCW by the end of the month.

Goldust isn’t worried about Sid.

Livewire ad, complete with the yet to be named Vince Russo in the background.

JR brings out Jim Cornette and Vader for a chat. Vader gets to face Sid at Buried Alive in a #1 contenders match but Cornette has no idea why that’s necessary when he’s beaten Shawn four times since July, including last week. Very fair point but Vader will be fine with beating Sid again.

Ad for the Hall of Fame/Survivor Series.

The Sultan vs. Aldo Montoya

Sultan has Bob Backlund and Iron Sheik in his corner with the former sitting in on commentary. Aldo speeds things up as Bob says he can’t hear without his glasses on. A suplex drops Montoya as Backlund is on an anti-drug rant. Sultan whips him hard into the buckle and a German suplex gets one. The camel clutch makes Montoya give up.

Rating: D-. Just a squash here but the commentary was dominating everything with Backlund doing his ranting and JR talking about being vice president with twelve names signed under his watch. Sultan clearly wasn’t going to go anywhere but it was an interesting idea to give him two famous managers like this.

Mankind gets in the grave but doesn’t want to be buried alive.

Goldust vs. Sycho Sid

Goldust jumps Sid from behind as JR is still babbling on about how much he hates Vince. Sid comes right back with an atomic drop and a clothesline as Shawn Michaels calls in to say he’ll have to be more than resilient to beat Sid or Vader. Goldust drops Sid across the top rope and stomps away as Shawn starts swearing a bit too much. Cue Jim Cornette as we take a break. Back with Sid hitting the chokeslam and powerbomb for the pin. There was no need for that commercial.

Rating: D-. This only existed to have Shawn call in, which wasn’t exactly thrilling stuff. It’s a boring match with two guys who weren’t exactly thrilling around this time and it was clear that things needed to change. You can only get so far with Goldust being a toned down version of what made him great and he had long since hit that wall.

Post match Vader comes out to beat on Sid, who no sells a middle rope splash and hits a chokeslam to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This was absolutely horrible and one of the worst episodes of the show I’ve ever seen. They were obviously running out of ideas here and there was almost no reason for them to keep going in this direction, especially with WCW killing them the way they were. At some point you have to put on something interesting and that’s just not what was happening here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6