Smackdown – September 26, 2008: He Doesn’t Seem Merciful

Smackdown
Date: September 26, 2008
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz

We’re still dealing with undertaker trying to stalk Vickie Guerrero and La Familia, though he might need to have more than just his arm show up this week. The other big story is Jeff Hardy still chasing HHH and the World Title, with their showdown at No Mercy coming up in less than two weeks. Throw in the question of who gets wrapped in bubble wrap this week and we’ve got a heck of a show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Vladimir Kozlov deciding he wanted better competition and taking out Jeff Hardy and HHH last week.

Opening sequence.

Chavo Guerrero is in Vickie Guerrero’s office and is worried about the Undertaker choking him last week. Undertaker is coming for Vickie tonight so she sends him to get Big Show. Jeff Hardy pops in and says he wants Vladimir Kozlov but Vickie tells him to worry about No Mercy. Oh and their tag match tonight. Show comes in to put his arm around Vickie. This Undertaker hunts La Familia stuff is really not working.

HHH/Jeff Hardy vs. MVP/Brian Kendrick

HHH works on MVP’s arm to start and it’s off to Hardy for a top rope ax handle to the same arm. Kendrick comes in and gets headlocked but manages to take Hardy into the corner. That’s broken up rather quickly and MVP gets caught with the legdrop between the legs. HHH’s running clothesline sends MVP outside and Kendrick gets dropped onto him for the crash as we take a break.

We come back with HHH getting double teamed in the corner, followed by Kendrick hitting a dropkick for two. Kendrick misses a dive though and it’s Hardy coming in as JR calls this an “opening main event”. I’ll let you try to figure that out as Hardy misses a dive of his own for a rather delayed two, meaning MVP can come in. Some knees to the ribs slow Hardy down and Kendrick kicks him in the head for two.

MVP comes back in and slaps on a seated abdominal stretch, which is broken rather quickly. Kendrick hits a dropkick and the Whisper In The Wind, with the fans being VERY pleased. The big tag brings in HHH and everything breaks down. Hardy takes Kendrick out and MVP misses a big boot, leaving him to walk into the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: B-. It definitely felt like a main event tag match and that’s a fine enough way to go. Hardy vs. HHH is already set for No Mercy and this was a way to move us towards the title match. The fans believe in Hardy and while it would have made more sense for him to get the pin, the result is what matters the most.

Video on the Great Khali, who is ready to face Vladimir Kozlov tonight.

Commentary thanks the fans for the CW for the last two years and the people who have worked with them over the years.

Classics On Demand: Sid/Ric Flair vs. Hogan/Piper at MSG. That sounds fun.

Here is Shelton Benjamin for a chat. He brags about being awesome in every way, which are as solid as the US Title on his shoulder. That’s why it bothers him to see R-Truth coming out here singing and dancing. What makes it even worse is the fans singing along with him…and here is R-Truth to interrupt. He asks Benjamin what’s up and Benjamin, with a bit of a quivering lip, walks out.

Brie Bella/Maria vs. Victoria/Natalya

Victoria shoves Maria down to start but she forearms her way out of trouble. Brie comes in and gets driven into the wrong corner, with Natalya wrestling her to the mat. A snap suplex gets two on Bella and Victoria comes back in for a full nelson. That’s broken up and Bella tries an anklescissors out of the corner but gets sent outside. Bella goes underneath the ring…and comes out from another side WAY too fast, apparently having grown to about eight feet tall and being incredibly flexible. Back in and Bella gets two off an X Factor before Maria’s high crossbody connects for the pin.

Rating: C. We’re getting pretty close to what is going on here and now it’s rather hard to hide the big twist. That’s what they’re showing here, which makes for an interesting future. It’s not like there is anything else going on here, but it’s nice to see some non-title feuds in the division for a change. The women can get a lot out of that kind of story, along with just offering some variety.

Video on Vladimir Kozlov.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. The Great Khali

Kozlov goes for the leg to start and gets forearmed in the back to cut that off. Instead Kozlov fires off the headbutts to the chest, only to get chopped in the head. A big boot sends Kozlov outside, where he avoids a headbutt into the post. Cue HHH to stare Kozlov down and Khali gets back inside, with HHH slugging at him. We’ll say the match was thrown out somewhere in there.

Post match the double beatdown is on until Jeff Hardy makes the save, with HHH grabbing a sledgehammer to chase the monsters away.

No Mercy rundown.

Chavo Guerrero warns Vickie Guerrero that Undertaker might get to her tonight but Big Show doesn’t want to hear this. We actually watch the video of Show beating Undertaker up, which played FOUR TIMES last week. Vickie sends Chavo to the ring for a match, which is quite the surprise.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

During Guerrero’s entrance, Hurricane Helms pops up in an insert promo, telling him to run from the Undertaker. Yang dropkicks him to the floor to start but Guerrero is able to dropkick him out of the air. The armbar goes on before they go outside, where Guerrero stays on said arm. Back in and another armbar is broken up, with Yang scoring off a missile dropkick. The running spinwheel kick in the corner sets up a high crossbody for two but Yang misses the moonsault. Guerrero hits Three Amigos into a rolling Liger kick of all things for the pin.

Rating: C+. Yang is one of those valuable people who can go out there and make anyone look good. It’s kind of a shame that he’s stuck with a comedy gimmick and is little more than existing to help everyone else. You can do something else with him, maybe in a tag team, but that really doesn’t seem likely whatsoever.

Post match the lights go out and Guerrero panics.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder vs. Colons

The Colons are challenging. Primo and Hawkins start things off with Primo sending him into the ropes and grabbing a jumping anklescissors. Carlito comes in and hammers away but misses a charge into the post, allowing the champs to start in on the arm. A hammerlock and slam stay on the arm, with Carlito being knocked into the corner to cut off a comeback bid.

Ryder slaps on another armbar until Carlito fights up for a sunset flip, only for Ryder to bring Hawkins back in. Carlito is dumped out to the floor and we take a break. We come back with Carlito fighting out of a chinlock and sending the champions (with a loud CRACK) into each other. Primo comes back in to slug away but gets rolled up by Ryder for two. Carlito gets a blind tag though and hits a Backstabber for the fast pin and the titles.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t overly entertaining and I rewound the ending a few times as I kept thinking I was missing something. Carlito and Primo aren’t exactly a red hot team but it’s not like Hawkins and Ryder were doing anything impressive anyway. It’s a nice way to send things over to MyNetworkTV as a title change always feels at least somewhat important.

Minor note: when Carlito gets the pin, he celebrates a bit, which should be the case when you win something. Do that more often.

Post match Jesse and Festus come out with the moving van.

We cut to the back where Chavo Guerrero is panicking over the Undertaker. Vickie Guerrero and Big Show are going to the ring, with Guerrero agreeing to join them out of fear.

During the break, Jesse and Festus moved some stuff into their van, which had Ryan Braddock and Kenny Dykstra.

Here are Big Show and the Guerreros for a chat. After some EXCUSE ME’s, Vickie calls out Undertaker, who has physically and mentally obliterated Edge. We look back at Unforgiven (sweet goodness move on) and come back to the arena, where Show promises to destroy the Undertaker.

The lights go out and Chavo disappears…and then Undertaker is choking Guerrero backstage. Show gives chase and we see Undertaker destroying Chavo even more. The screen goes to static so Tazz tries to go interview Vickie, but the lights go out again. Tazz is instantly back on commentary and Undertaker is alone in the ring with Vickie. A Tombstone ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. The title change was a nice moment and Hardy vs. HHH is being set up well, but egads this Vickie/Undertaker stuff is not working. Unfortunately that’s one of the dominant stories on the show right now and it’s making for such a dull portion week after week. I liked parts of the show, but once HHH and Hardy were gone, the interest went sailing out the window.

 

 

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Smackdown – September 19, 2008: On A Loop

Smackdown
Date: September 19, 2008
Location: Sommet Center, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Tazz, Jim Ross

The big story coming out of last week is Jeff Hardy becoming the new #1 contender and getting a shot at HHH and the World Title at No Mercy. Other than that, Big Show is now in league with Vickie Guerrero and going after Undertaker, which sounds like it could lead to minutes of entertainment. Hopefully the rest of the show can pick up the pace a bit, though you never know what you’ll see around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Jeff Hardy becoming the #1 contender but getting laid out by Vladimir Kozlov.

Opening sequence.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Maryse

McCool is defending. Maryse grabs a headlock to start and then runs McCool over with a shoulder. Back up and McCool trips her down for a basement dropkick and then mocks the Maryse pose. Maryse manages to snap the throat across the top but a sunset flip dives McCool two. A hair takedown lets Maryse grab a camel clutch but JR isn’t happy with how much posing Maryse does in the process. McCool is back up with a dropkick into a running flipping neckbreaker. The Wings Of Love retains the title.

Rating: C. This was another good example of the issues the women were having at the time. They were clearly trying to get better in the ring (and it was starting to work) but they had the same issues as before, with the focus often being on their looks and the revealing gear. It’s still a work in progress, but you can tell they’re making serious progress.

Big Show is in Vickie Guerrero’s office when Eve comes in. Eve asks Vickie about Undertaker possibly being here tonight but Vickie doesn’t want to hear it. Eve goes on to mention that she’s been training, with the other two laughing at her. Show has her sit down and shows her why the first question is totally irrelevant. This leads to a video on Show beating Undertaker down at Unforgiven, which I guess he had cued up for anyone who was coming in.

Ryan Braddock vs. Festus

Jesse and Festus are doing the movers deal. Festus misses a charge into the corner to start and Braddock hammers away before grabbing an early chinlock. That’s broken up and Festus unloads on him, including the fireman’s carry flapjack. That’s enough for Jesse to throw in the packing supplies, which draws the DQ.

Post break, Festus is packed up and moved out. The fans either don’t get it or don’t care. Or both.

Vickie Guerrero wants Undertaker to show up so she can make him apologize. And we see the same video of the Unforgiven beatdown. Reminding us that it’s still Big Show vs. Undertaker really isn’t helping.

Shelton Benjamin praises himself and doesn’t think much of R-Truth being in prison.

Shelton Benjamin vs. R-Truth

Non-title. Benjamin backs him into the corner to start but R-Truth is back out with the spinning forearm. The referee doesn’t like R-Truth stomping away in the corner and Benjamin is able to snap off a suplex, which Tazz certainly appreciates. The crossface shots to the face set up a backbreaker and we hit the reverse chinlock. That’s broken up so Benjamin forearms away even more, setting up the reverse chinlock again. R-Truth fights up so Benjamin tries a German suplex, which is reversed into a cradle to give R-Truth the pin.

Rating: C+. R-Truth is still new so having him get right into the US Title picture is certainly a big deal. I’m not sold on the idea of him winning the title just yet and having him pin the champion isn’t great to see, but at least it’s someone getting a push. Now just follow through with what they’re doing in one way or another.

Post match Hurricane Helms (out of action for a year and a half) pops up in a bubble to say the price of gold just went down. Ok then.

Here is Jeff Hardy for a chat before his match. He’s been here for about ten years (thankfully throwing in “on and off”) and it hasn’t been perfect. Last week, HHH said that Hardy had never won the big one and now he realizes that HHH was trying to motivate him. Congratulations Game because it absolutely worked, and now he’s reaching for the title instead of the brass ring. As for Vladimir Kozlov…and never mind because cue Brian Kendrick and Ezekiel Jackson, with the former mentioning that last week’s four way wasn’t the best way to show off his abilities. Kendrick references Hardy’s drug use and we’re ready to go.

Jeff Hardy vs. The Brian Kendrick

Ezekiel Jackson is here with Kendrick, who gets hammered down in the corner to start. Kendrick comes back with a clothesline to the floor and we take a break. We come back with Kendrick working on a half crab, which is broken up rather quickly. Hardy fights back and hits the slingshot dropkick in the corner. Kendrick kicks him in the face and Jackson offers a distraction to break up the Whisper In The Wind. Kendrick loads up the Kendrick but Hardy reverses into a backslide for the fast pin.

Rating: B-. Kendrick continues to be such an oddball (in a good way) and he’s rather fun to see when he gets in the ring. It’s also good to see someone getting a fresh chance and his team with Jackson works well. At the same time, Hardy is on the way to getting a World Title match so he’s going to be racking up some wins in the next few weeks.

Post match Hardy goes to leave and gets kicked down by Vladimir Kozlov.

Big Show comes into Vickie Guerrero’s office and says Undertaker is here. We get a POV shot of someone we can’t see coming into the office but Vickie orders them onto their knees for an apology. A voice that sounds like Undertaker’s apologizes but she wants him to kiss her feet. And yeah it’s Chavo Guerrero in a bad Undertaker costume. And we see the video AGAIN.

It’s time for the return of Carlito’s Cabana, with Primo as the guest. After a quick microphone issue, Primo says it was easy to get a win last week. They’re ready to win the Tag Team Titles but get into an argument over whose show it happens to be. Cue Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins (Hurricane Helms pops in to mock Hawkins and Ryder) to mock the two of them, but Primo and Carlito issue the challenge for the title match tonight.

After confirming that Hawkins and Ryder aren’t Canadian, they confirm the title match for next week. Carlito needs someone to come clear the set off, so here are Jesse and Festus to clean house (and beat up the champs). The moving stuff is annoying, but Helms getting to be snarky has me intrigued.

Maria is sketching something when Brie Bella comes in. They talk about Maria making her gear, with Brie asking for an exact matching version, just in case it gets broken. Victoria and Natalya come in and say they’ve figured Brie out: she’s having an affair with Hornswoggle underneath the ring! A tag match is set for next week.

Great Khali vs. Scotty Goldman

Goldman mocks Khali’s speech pattern and even has a Runjin Singh puppet. Chops, a clothesline, and the tree slam finish Goldman fast.

Raw Rebound.

Chavo Guerrero throws La Familia out so he can watch the Big Show/Undertaker video by himself. So why do we have to see it for a fourth time? This time though the video breaks up and Undertaker appears on the screen. Then he appears behind Chavo and chokes him. Well his arm does at least.

HHH vs. MVP

Non-title. Feeling out process to start with MVP posing a bit too much, earning himself a crotch chop. MVP charges into a right hand into the corner and then charges into a drop toehold. HHH headlocks him down and grinds away to keep MVP rather frustrated we take a break.

We come back with MVP working on the arm by cranking on an armbar. A hammerlock with some knees to the arm keep HHH down, followed by a DDT on the arm for two. HHH fights up and hits a neckbreaker but MVP goes right back to the arm. That’s enough for MVP to go up, where he dives right into the Pedigree to give HHH the pin.

Rating: C+. Perfectly fine match here with HHH getting a win over someone with some credibility. It was a lot of work on the arm before they cranked it up a bit and it worked well enough. Much like Hardy earlier, there was no reason to believe HHH was losing but again in this case, that’s not a bad thing.

Post match Vladimir Kozlov comes out to wreck HHH to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show lost me with the Undertaker/Big Show video airing over and over with the only important thing being Undertaker choking Chavo Guerrero. The rest of the show was the usual stuff as we’re well on the way to No Mercy and Hardy vs. HHH should be good. The Big Show vs. Undertaker stuff being driven into the ground was a bad idea though and it took away from a lot of the rest of the show.

 

 

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Smackdown – September 12, 2008: He Can’t Carry It By Himself

Smackdown
Date: September 12, 2008
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Tazz, Jim Ross

We’re done with Unforgiven and HHH is still the World Champion, being the only champion to survive the Championship Scramble. It’s clear that Jeff Hardy is coming for the title though and that should make for a big story to close out the year. The other big story saw Big Show attacking Undertaker on Vickie Guerrero’s behalf, which can’t go well. Let’s get to it.

Here is Unforgiven if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the Championship Scramble.

Opening sequence.

Here is HHH to get things going. HHH says we need to see Unforgiven, even if it’s buying the DVD (and not just because he gets good residuals). He recaps the big events on the show, including Rey Mysterio’s crazy mohawk. Only one man walked in as champion and walked out as champion (aside from Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase I guess) and that was him. It was a difficult match but he found a way with one second left.

Cue Jeff Hardy to interrupt and say that HHH is awesome. The locker room, including Hardy, respects him because he’s a legend. HHH says he respects Hardy for being an individual who is always reaching for the brass ring, but he is just one step away. Hardy says maybe that’s true, or maybe he never had the right people, like the Kliq or DX or the family.

HHH doesn’t like that and brings up Jeff’s brother Matt. Yeah Jeff might be great, but Matt is the one who is a champion. Since they’ve been apart, Jeff hasn’t been able to keep his other activities from letting him get what he wants the most out of life. Tonight, Jeff is in a #1 contenders match for a shot at No Mercy and HHH hopes he wins so Jeff can prove him right.

Maryse/Natalya/Victoria vs. Maria/Michelle McCool/Brie Bella

McCool headlocks Natalya to start with McCool taking her into the corner so Maria can come in for la majistral. Bella starts in on the arm but Natalya drops her with a kind of step up backdrop. Maryse pounds on Bella on the mat and sends her outside, where Brie goes under the ring as usual. Back in and Brie gets a quick rollup for the pin on Victoria.

Rating: C-. The under the ring deal is fine, but it only has so much impact when Bella had only been in the ring for about a minute. Other than that, it’s easy to see why McCool was presented as a star, as she definitely has the athleticism and the look. The problem is they’re still in that weird period where the wrestling is being presented as serious (as it was here) but the Titantron videos are still showing off their appearances. It kind of has to be one or the other and that’s missing thus far.

R-Truth vs. Chavo Guerrero

Bam Neely is here with Guerrero. Truth takes him down with a hammerlock to start but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. Guerrero’s crossface chickenwing is broken up though and Truth hits a powerslam into a pump kick. Three Amigos connect and Guerrero loads up the frog splash. Truth cuts him off…and Neely shoves Truth down for the DQ.

Rating: C. They didn’t have time to do much here, though Neely getting involved was hardly a good way to go. As usual, Neely is about as uninteresting of a bodyguard as you can have as he’s someone who is just there and that doesn’t offer much in the way of value. Hopefully this isn’t part of a long feud for Truth either, as Guerrero isn’t the most thrilling opponent.

Post match Guerrero yells at Neely for the loss and gets shoved down. Truth drops both of them.

Shelton Benjamin hits on Eve Torres in the back when HHH interrupts. Torres leaves and, after opining about Torres being attractive, he says he doesn’t think Benjamin needs to be in the four way for the #1 contendership. Otherwise, Jeff Hardy is already coming for the title, but Benjamin says he’s reaching for a gold title, not a brass ring.

Festus vs. Kenny Dykstra

Jesse is here with Festus and they’re dressed as movers because Smackdown is moving to MyNetworkTV. Before the match, Dykstra brags about his potential and promises to take the garbage men out to the dumpster. He decks Festus before the bell and knocks Jesse down as well, only for Jesse to get in a show of his own.

Then Jesse rings the bell and Festus’ mauling begins. A fireman’s carry flapjack hits Dykstra…and Jesse and Festus hog tie him with duct tape. They put him on the moving cart and wrap him in plastic wrap to wheel him off. And that’s that, as the opening bell wasn’t official, so this was either not a match or a no contest due to kidnapping.

We recap Big Show getting yelled at by Vickie Guerrero at Unforgiven and then attacking Undertaker, seemingly on her behalf.

Here is Vickie Guerrero for an explanation. She talks about how Undertaker threatened to destroy her, but here she is. A lot of that is due to the Big Show, who comes out to shake her hand. Show talks about how Undertaker doesn’t follow the rules and how he needs to learn who is in charge. That’s when Show began to realize the benefits of a power alliance between himself and Vickie. She wants to be in charge and he wants to be WWE Champion and they’ll be working towards those goals. There isn’t much of a way around the fact that it’s still going to be Undertaker vs. Show again.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Scotty Goldman/Funaki

Total dominance, with a pair of headbutts finishing Funaki in less than a minute.

Post match Kozlov says give him competition or he’ll find it himself.

Ezekiel Jackson is reading WWE Magazine when HHH comes in. They have a staredown until The Brian Kendrick comes in to ask if anything is wrong. HHH talks about the four way and says that he was wanting Kendrick to win. Of all the losers in the Championship Scramble, Kendrick was the biggest.

Colons vs. Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins

Non-title and this is the Colons debut as a team. Carlito unloads on Hawkins in the corner before Primo tags himself in for a springboard dropkick. A powerbomb drops Carlito onto Ryder for two but Hawkins offers a distraction, meaning the Rough Ryder can connect. The chinlock, with a knee in Carlito’s back, goes on, with Ryder going major evil by using the hair to pull him back down.

Another chinlock doesn’t last as long but Hawkins is right there with a clothesline. The Hennig necksnap sets up a third chinlock but Carlito fights up. This time it’s actually enough for the tag off to Primo to clean house. Everything breaks down and a quick Backstabber gives Carlito the upset pin.

Rating: C+. As usual, I’m not wild on seeing champions lose clean, though it’s a fast way to boost up a new team. At the same time, it’s not like there are a bunch of teams going for the titles at the moment so throw them out there as fast as they can. It the match worked well enough, which shouldn’t be a surprise as the Colons have been teaming together for years.

HHH runs into MVP in the back and isn’t sure why he’s in the four way. The other three make sense but….MVP?

Classics On Demand: Flair vs. Race at Starrcade 1983.

MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Jeff Hardy vs. The Brian Kendrick

Non-title and the winner gets a shot at HHH at No Mercy. Kendrick rolls outside to start, leaving Benjamin and Hardy to exchange rollups for two each. MVP breaks that up and stomps away at Hardy in the corner until Kendrick runs in to try and steal a pin. That earns him a trip back to the floor, leaving MVP to facebuster Benjamin. A quick Whisper In The Wind gives Hardy two and we take a break.

We come back with MVP chinlocking Benjamin until Kendrick makes the save. Kendrick camel clutches Benjamin as Ezekiel Jackson sends Hardy into the barricade. That’s broken up as well so MVP is back in for a basement dropkick to Benjamin. Hardy is sent back outside, leaving Benjamin to German suplex MVP for two. Benjamin clears Hardy and Kendrick out again, leaving them to fight on the floor while he gets a triangle choke on MVP.

That’s broken up as Hardy gets back in and drops Benjamin for two but the Swanton misses. Kendrick and MVP double team Hardy, which works as well as you would expect as MVP drops Kendrick with a clothesline. Back up and Hardy hits the Whisper In The Wind for two on MVP but Benjamin makes the save. Paydirt drops MVP again but Kendrick hits the Kendrick. Hardy Swantons in to break it up though and pins Kendrick for the win.

Rating: B. The result was the only one that made sense as Hardy has been treated as the next big thing, and certainly the next big challenger, so he should be getting the shot at HHH. The match was the usual fast paced fight with a lot of near falls and saved. It got a good deal of time though, which has me wondering how Hardy would get there, which worked for a main event.

Post match Hardy celebrates but Vladimir Kozlov comes in to lay him out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The main event was the big focus of the show and they did the right thing, with Hardy being the only one of the four who made sense. Unfortunately the other big story was the Show/Vickie deal, which is making me dread the next few weeks. Hardy going after the title is absolutely the biggest story taking place and the fans are more than into it, but the show needs something else beyond just that.

 

 

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Smackdown – August 22, 2008: That’s A Sorry Match

Smackdown
Date: August 22, 2008
Location: iWireless Arena, Moline, Illinois
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz

Summerslam has come and gone and the big story is that Undertaker destroyed Edge inside the Cell, which should get rid of him for a good while. Other than that, HHH dispatched the Great Khali in a match that was better than expected, meaning he’s going to need a new challenger. Let’s get to it.

Here is Summerslam if you need a recap.

We open with a look at the Smackdown matches from Summerslam.

Opening sequence.

Vickie Guerrero welcomes us to the show and says we haven’t been seeing the real her in recent weeks. Everything she has done has been because of Edge, because she corrupted who she was as a person. Now she is free to be her real self with Edge stuck in the same h*** he put her in. She has made some changes, and one of the things she feels the best about is reinstating the Undertaker. Another thing is the Championship Scramble at Unforgiven, which will see five people wrestling for twenty minutes with unlimited falls. Whoever gets the last fall will be WWE Champion. Tonight, we find out the competitors.

Maria vs. Natalya

Natalya fireman’s carries her down without much trouble to start but Maria reverses into a headlock. Back up and they fight over wrist control until Maria snaps off a snappy armdrag. Some kicks to the leg don’t work very well though as Natalya is back with a dragon screw legwhip. Natalya cranks on the leg until Maria fights up and hits some clotheslines. A Bronco Buster gets the fans a bit more interested…and here is Maryse to go after Maria for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This was little more than a few moves going on until the ending, which just kind of happened. Maria feels more and more like the Smackdown version of Kelly Kelly, who is the young, up and coming star who needs a lot more experience. The potential is there, but Maria is going to need some more time before it happens.

Post match the beatdown is on but Michelle McCool comes in for the save.

La Familia runs into the Big Show, who talks to Vickie Guerrero like a child. He’s happy for the Championship Scramble and he’s ready to face anyone in a qualifying match….but Vickie forgot to put him in one.

Championship Scramble Qualifying Match: Battle Royal

Scotty Goldman, Super Crazy, Armando Estrada, Funaki, Brian Kendrick, Curt Hawkins, Brian Kendrick, Jimmy Wang Yang, Vladimir Kozlov, Ryan Braddock

Big Show is sitting at ringside and this is one of the lamest battle royals I’ve ever seen. A bunch of people get together and toss Kozlov before Goldman is sent out as well. Then Show comes in and tosses most of the people, with Ezekiel Jackson saving Brian Kendrick…which is enough for Kendrick to win, as Show threw everyone else out and then stepped over the top (as apparently he was in).

Rating: D+. The match was barely a thing but points for a clever ending. I guess I’ll take this over another one off match with little in the way of drama, but this was more of a joke than anything else. That being said, they got through it quickly and Kendrick being in the title match is more interesting than most options.

Post match Kendrick does a victory dance for a nice touch.

R-Truth talks about how the truth is what you do when people aren’t watching. It’s about respecting who you are and getting better every day to build a better future. He’s been on the bottom but now he’s heading for the top.

Championship Scramble Qualifying Match: MVP vs. Festus

Jesse is here with Festus. Before the match, we hear from MVP at Summerslam, where he promises to win the WWE Title. Festus freaks out at the bell but MVP knocks him into the corner anyway. A suplex sends MVP down for two and a clothesline is good for the same. Festus fall away slams him into the corner, only for MVP to pull him into the post. The logical armbar goes on and MVP cranks away, with Festus finally fighting up.

Some fight hands connect while the left arm is left hanging but the bad arm is sent into the corner again. MVP cranks on the arm again….as we see a sign saying “I Love My Mommy And Grandma.” Well that’s just sweet. Festus fights up again and hits a running elbow, setting up something like a running seated senton. A big boot sends MVP outside, where he kicks Jesse in the face. That’s enough of a distraction for Festus to get counted out. Oddly there’s a delay between the ten count and MVP being declared the winner, with MVP’s music starting before the bell rings, making for a bit of a weird situation.

Rating: C-. It’s kind of odd to go with two fairly screwy endings in a row, especially when it’s a star like MVP against Festus, who is almost a novelty. Obviously it’s the right result, but you would think there would be a better way to go than a bunch of sitting around pulling on Festus’ arm. Pretty dull match here, with MVP being capable of better.

Post match the bell turns Festus off again so MVP boots him out to the floor.

Classic On Demand: Trish Stratus b. Stacy Keibler in a swimsuit contest. Same exact clip from Raw.

Championship Scramble Qualifying Match: Shelton Benjamin vs. Finlay

Non-title and Hornswoggle is here with Finlay. Before the match, Benjamin talks about how being a champion is about being obsessed with gold. He doesn’t like Olympic phenom Michael Phelps being called the new Gold Standard, because there is only one of them. Finlay wastes no time in taking Benjamin down for some face ripping before driving him into the corner.

A headlock grinds Benjamin down a bit so he bails into the corner for a needed breather. Back up and Benjamin tries to go low on Finlay, who takes him out to the floor where a lot of seething can ensue. They go back inside where Finlay can crank on the leg a bit, with Benjamin going to the ropes. A missed charge sends Finlay shoulder first into the post, giving Benjamin a rather nice target. The chinlock with a bodyscissors goes on, followed by one heck of a kick to the back of the head to have Finlay curled up in the corner.

Finlay bails to the floor for a second, where he ties a sliding Benjamin up in the ring skirt for some clubberin. Benjamin knocks him back into the apron though and we take a break. Back with Benjamin working on a neck crank Finlay jawbreaks his way to freedom for two but Benjamin grabs the neck again. Back up again and Benjamin hits a dragon whip, followed by the t-bone to cut Finlay down again for a delayed two. Finlay fights up but here is Mike Knox to go after Hornswoggle, allowing Benjamin to grab Paydirt for the fast pin.

Rating: C. They went pretty long here until the ending, which was more about setting up Knox vs. Finlay in an ECW feud. They could have done the same match in less time and things would have been that much better. Benjamin getting the nod is fine as it isn’t like he’s doing anything important with the US Title.

Post match Knox beats up Finlay a bit more.

We look back at Chris Jericho punching Shawn Michaels’ wife at Summerslam.

La Familia isn’t sure why Undertaker hasn’t arrived yet. Chavo Guerrero thinks he might even be holding a grudge. Maybe Vickie Guerrero should apologize?

Championship Scramble Qualifying Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Great Khali

HHH is on commentary. Hardy slugs away to start but is quickly knocked outside for his efforts. Back in and Khali stomps away before the nerve hold goes on. With Hardy ground down, the tree slam is loaded up (HHH looks nervous) but Hardy goes up to slip out. That earns him a chop out to the floor but Hardy is back in with a Twist of Fate. The Swanton is loaded up but Runjin Singh offers a distraction (Khali was about 80% of the way across the ring so that thing wasn’t coming close anyway). HHH isn’t having this and pulls him down before chairing Khali in the head. The Whisper in the Wind into the Swanton finishes for Hardy.

Rating: C. I’m hoping HHH has to deal with Khali again, as that was quite the heelish move for someone who was just trying to protect his title. Hardy is one of the hottest things in WWE at the moment so he almost had to be in the title match. It also wouldn’t have been the best idea to ask Khali to go for twenty minutes, so there wasn’t much of a choice to be made here.

Post break HHH is in the ring to talk about the challengers coming for the title in the Championship Scramble. The fifth person in that match is a 12 time World Champion and someone who has won everything in every kind of match. Cue Kenny Dkysktra to interrupt because he should be in the match too. The Pedigree lays him out in a hurry, with HHH saying it was good to see him.

Here is La Familia to offer an apology to Undertaker, complete with a standing ovation. Cue Undertaker, with Vickie (eventually) saying she gave Undertaker a chance for revenge on Edge at Summerslam and now she wants a chance to be forgiven. If Undertaker needs more time, they can do this next week and she even gets on her knees to beg him. Undertaker says “look at me woman” because he isn’t here for an apology, but rather Vickie’s soul. The fight is on with Undertaker getting beaten down for a bit, only to fight up and clean house. Undertaker does the throat slit to Vickie to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I do appreciate a show with a central theme running throughout, but this wasn’t their best effort. The qualifying matches set up a nice field for Unforgiven, but it would have been nice to have them be a bit less dull. The ending with Undertaker hunting Vickie isn’t the most thrilling thing either and feels like something rather simple and not that interesting. This show set up the one match at Unforgiven but it didn’t have me wanting to see anything until then.

 

 

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Smackdown – August 15, 2008: The One Good Thing

Smackdown
Date: August 15, 2008
Location: Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz

It’s the final show before Summerslam and the big story around here is Edge finally snapping on Vickie Guerrero. That should make for the main focus around here, but it would be nice to have Undertaker acknowledged a bit more. HHH vs. Great Khali needs the attention more, but that might not go so smoothly. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Edge attacking La Familia last week.

Opening sequence.

US Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Benjamin is defending. Feeling out process to start until Benjamin’s headlock is countered into an early rollup attempt. The Twist Of Fate attempt is blocked, with JR mocking himself for getting the name wrong. Benjamin stomps away in the corner and we hit the early chinlock. Hardy fights up and knocks him into the corner for the slingshot dropkick and a near fall.

We take a break and come back with Hardy holding a headscissors on the mat of all things. Benjamin slips out and hits a knee to the face for two, followed by a nasty buckle bomb to knock Hardy silly for two more. We hit the half crab with a foot in Hardy’s back, meaning some groaning ensues. That’s broken up as well so Benjamin knees him in the back of the head and hits an Angle Slam for another two.

Back up and the Dragon Whip (that looked great) connects for another near fall, meaning frustration is setting in. Hardy fights up again and hits his jawbreaker to start the comeback. A middle rope Whisper In The Wind (you don’t see that version very often) gives Hardy two but the Twist Of Fate is countered into a backbreaker to give Benjamin a breather. Benjamin sends him to the apron and tries a sunset bomb but Hardy reverses into a hurricanrana. Back in and the Swanton is loaded up…and here is MVP to shove Hardy off for the DQ.

Rating: B-. This was getting going after a slow start, which had me worried as there have been some dull matches around here lately. You could see MVP coming, which was kind of the point, but dang there is something to be said about seeing Hardy make a comeback like that. He’s always been great at making you believe something is going to happen and that is what he was doing again here.

Post match MVP goes after Hardy again but kicks Benjamin by mistake. That lets Hardy get the Twist Of Fate into a Swanton, followed by a Swanton to Benjamin as well.

Victoria of all people comes in to see Vickie Guerrero, who is worried about Edge and Undertaker. Both of them are here and Vickie doesn’t want to be left alone.

Natalya/Maryse vs. Michelle McCool/Maria

Maria and Maryse start things off, meaning a lot of staring until Maryse trips her down. Natalya comes in and gets headlocked out of the corner without much effort. A side slam out of the corner plants Maria but she fights over for the tag to McCool. House is cleaned in a hurry, including a running flipping neckbreaker for two on Natalya. A Maryse distraction doesn’t work so she tries it again, allowing Natalya to get a quick rollup for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but the ending should set up a title match down the line. That’s better than what you are going to see on occasion so this could have been worse. Natalya is a natural for the first big challenge to McCool and is a better choice than Maryse right now. It wasn’t a good match, but it did accomplish something.

The Brian Kendrick vs. Scotty Goldman

Before the match Kendrick, with Ezekiel Jackson, says that yeah he has Big Zeke with him, but who brings more to the table than him? Zeke: “No one.” Kendrick wrestles for himself and you’re looking at the future. Goldman is making his debut and gets an insert interview….where he is confused about being in a box while coming to the ring at the same time. Kendrick cranks on the arm to start as JR can’t remember to put in a “The” before Kendrick’s name.

Goldman manages a quick takedown but gets kicked in the face twice in a row for his efforts. A camel clutch of all things has Goldman in trouble but he fights out and gets some boots up in the corner. Back up and a flying hip attack gives Goldman two but Kendrick sends him into the corner. Kendrick scores with the Kendrick for the pin. Goldman got a nice reaction here, which might have something to do with being better known as Colt Cabana.

Post match Jackson runs Goldman over.

HHH is asked about the violence that happened last week at the hands of the Great Khali. Kenny Dykstra of all people interrupts and says he doesn’t think HHH still has it. HHH says Dykstra is picking the wrong time and a match seems implied.

Here is Great Khali, with Runjin Singh, for a chat. Khali apparently says HHH is great but he is greater. HHH needs to get out while he can because devastation is coming.

HHH vs. Kenny Dykstra

Non-title and Runjin Singh is on commentary. Dykstra starts fast and hammers away but gets taken down by a clothesline. The spinebuster connects as JR is far more fired up than he probably should be for a match like this. The Pedigree finishes Dykstra fast.

Post match HHH and Khali stare at each other until HHH grabs Singh. Violence is threatened until Khali gets in the ring for the brawl. HHH can’t Pedigree him but he can clothesline him out to the floor to stand almost as tall.

Big Show vs. Ryan Braddock

This is Braddock’s entrance and he gets his own entrance. Show wastes no time in throwing him outside as commentary puts over Show’s size. Back in and the chop in the corner sets up a cobra clutch throw as Braddock is in trouble. The KO Punch finishes for Show rather quickly.

MVP is livid at Jeff Hardy for attacking him earlier tonight and promises to make him feel worse at Summerslam.

Vickie Guerrero rants to Victoria about Edge and asks her for help to her limo.

We get another R-Truth video, where he talks about sitting in jail and realizing he needed to change his life.

Victoria wheels Vickie Guerrero to her limo…where Edge is in the backseat. Edge scares Victoria off and puts Vickie in her wheelchair for a ride…to h***. And off they go.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Festus

Jesse is here with Festus, who freaks out at the bell as usual. Festus wastes no time in knocking Kozlov to the floor, which is the first time he’s ever been in anything resembling trouble. Kozlov gets in a shot to the ribs though and sends Festus into the steps. A headbutt gets two and Kozlov grabs a bearhug. Festus gets suplexed down and Kozlov puts on a waistlock. That’s broken up and Festus hits a clothesline, followed by a kick to the face. Not that it matters as Kozlov cuts him off with the big headbutt for the win.

Rating: C+. They were getting into a hoss fight here before the fast ending. Beating Festus means something for Kozlov as he actually had to work for it for a change, but he’s still only so interesting. Kozlov isn’t exactly an in-depth character and that doesn’t give me much promise about his long term prospects.

Video on John Cena vs. Batista.

Summerslam rundown.

Edge wheels a screaming Vickie Guerrero through the back and seems to tease hurting her. The ride doesn’t end until they get to the ring. The graphic says next, but how do they know that’s where Edge is going? It ends at the ring. How do they know he’s not going to take her out for a hearty lobster dinner first?

Here are Edge and Vickie (after a video on Shawn Michaels, which was “next”, not these two, again showing that WWE needs to pay better attention to their own shows) for the end of the ride. Edge dumps her on the floor and sits next to her, saying this is a rough patch like any other marriage. It wasn’t that long ago that they exchanged vows and said for better or for worse.

We see a video on the last few weeks, with Edge cheating on Vickie and getting put in the Cell match with Undertaker as a result. Mick Foley tried to awaken the old Edge, earning himself one heck of a beating. Back in the arena, Edge orders Vickie to apologize to undertaker, which she does, causing Edge to call her pathetic. She caused all of this and Edge feels like he is burning in h***.

This Sunday, Edge is going to make Undertaker burn with him, but why wait? Edge says that just like their marriage, the match with Undertaker is til death do them part. He kneels on Vickie’s chest to end the show after a heck of a promo that made it feel like the Edge of old. It’s hard to believe he has a chance on Sunday, but they’re making it a lot better.

Overall Rating: C+. As has been the case on Raw, it’s pretty clear that Smackdown is a one match show for Summerslam. The Undertaker vs. Edge match is the only noteworthy thing, which says a lot when it’s more about Edge vs. Vickie. HHH vs. Great Khali doesn’t feel overly important and that leaves MVP vs. Jeff Hardy in third place. This show had its good parts with pretty much everything Edge related, but that and a pretty good Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin match isn’t enough to make this show great.

 

 

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Smackdown – August 8, 2008: He’s Doing It Himself

Smackdown
Date: August 8, 2008
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz

We are just over a week away from Summerslam and Edge is hopefully getting back on track. That is something he has been needing for a bit and it might have happened last week. In another thing that needs to pick up the pace, we have HHH vs. Great Khali for the former’s World Title. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look back at Edge snapping on Mick Foley last week.

Opening sequence.

Tazz is filling in for the injured Mick Foley. Commentary runs down the card.

Maryse/Natalya/Victoria vs. Maria/Michelle McCool/Cherry

They’re all in various Olympic sports attire, though Maria picks skiing for the summer games. McCool (volleyball) and Natalya (equestrian) start things off with McCool gabbing a Russian legsweep. A middle rope wristdrag takes Natalya down but Maria tags herself in for a double shoulder. Natalya sends Maria outside but Cherry (boxing) comes in with a double arm DDT. It’s off to Victoria for the Widow’s Peak, only for McCool to kick her in the face. Everything breaks down and Natalya Sharpshooters Maria for the fast win. This was a mini theme match and you can pretty easily get the reason why.

Bam Neely has been attacked and there is a black rose near him.

Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins vs. Shannon Moore/Jimmy Wang Yang

Non-title. Hawkins headlocks Yang to start but gets armdragged into an armbar. Back up and Hawkins fights out of the corner and hits a reverse clothesline, allowing Ryder to come in for a swinging neckbreaker. Hawkins comes in off a blind tag and breaks up a sunset flip, setting up a suplex for two on Yang. We hit the reverse chinlock but Yang slips out and hands it back to Moore to clean house. A high crossbody gets two on Ryder but the referee has to get rid of Yang, allowing a double inverted DDT to finish Moore.

Rating: C+. I’ve long since thought Yang and Moore could have been a bigger deal in the tag division as it isn’t like there was much competition. They had a nice match here and it made for a good use of a few minutes. If nothing else, it made the champions look good, which is always a nice move.

MVP wants to face Jeff Hardy at Summerslam. We see a clip of MVP costing Jeff Hardy a match against Edge on Saturday Night’s Main Event, but where is the footage of Hardy attacking MVP? Hardy is a product of his own actions.

Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title. Benjamin takes him down without much trouble and grabs an early chinlock. Hardy fights up and it’s an armdrag into an armbar as they already see to be filling time. That’s broken up and Benjamin stomps away in the corner before going back to the chinlock. This one doesn’t last as long as Hardy fights up and hits the mule kick out to the floor, where the slingshot dive connects. Back in and a quick Swanton attempt misses to give Benjamin two and we take a break.

We come back with Benjamin grabbing another chinlock, though at least his legs are facing another way to make it different. Back up and Hardy tries the Whisper In The Wind, only to get dropped hard onto the ropes for two. Benjamin starts in on the leg as Tazz talks about fatigue setting in. From what? Excessive chinlock usage? Benjamin starts cranking on the leg, including a half crab for a change.

That’s broken up so Benjamin puts it on again as we’re seeing quite the repetitive theme emerging. Hardy escapes again and they go outside, where Benjamin gets kicked out of the air. Back in and the Whisper In The Wind connects, only for Benjamin to reverse the slingshot dropkick into a powerslam for two. Paydirt is countered into the Twist Of Fate and Hardy hits the Swanton…but gets kicked in the face by MVP for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This got going near the end but they easily could have cut off about five minutes o the chinlocks and leg cranking. The latter wouldn’t have made much of a difference as Hardy’s leg looked fine when he was making his comeback. This wasn’t quite as bad as some of the recent dull matches, but it was definitely following a similar formula.

La Familia can’t find Zack Ryder and something might have happened to him.

And now, arm wrestling between HHH and Great Khali, with broken glass on the table for whichever hand goes down. Before we get going, Khali says something, which HHH says is a good point, even though he has no idea what Khali said. Runjin Singh says Khali told him to get out while he can because this is a different kind of challenge. HHH tells Singh to find a lamp to rub to put Khali back inside.

The reality is Khali has never been in the ring with someone like HHH, who is actually going to tell Khali his plans in advance. HHH is going to break Khali’s legs and there is nothing Singh or the jolly genie can do about it. With that out of the way, we’re ready to go and believe it or not, HHH is about to win when Khali attacks him. The head vice leaves HHH laying and commentary isn’t sure how he is going to survive at Summerslam. This was every step you would have expected, probably right down to the genie jokes.

Curt Hawkins has been attacked and there is another black rose.

We get another R-Truth video, talking about where he came from and showing him playing basketball with his friends. If you want to play the game, you have to get into it, and that is the truth.

Chavo Guerrero thinks he and Vickie Guerrero need Edge’s help to deal with this so he’s off to find him.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jesse

Jesse, with Festus, is the better competition that Kozlov requested. The bell rings so Kozlov bails from the crazed Festus before kicking Jesse down to take over. Headbutts and a suplex have Jesse in trouble but he gets in a shot of his own. Kozlov then headbutts him out of the air for the pin.

Raw Rebound.

Summerslam rundown.

Chavo Guerrero found Edge and he is willing to help with Undertaker’s attacks, but Vickie Guerrero has to be civil.

Brian Kendrick vs. Super Crazy

Before the match, Kendrick brags about his power and introduces his bodyguard, Ezekiel Jackson (now with a last name). Kendrick knocks him into the corner to start and a dropkick puts Crazy down again. Back up and Crazy misses a charge into the corner so another dropkick can connect for two.

The camel clutch goes on as Tazz makes insect comparisons. Kendrick kicks him down again and grabs something like a seated abdominal stretch. That’s broken up as Tazz wonders why Crazy, a Smackdown wrestler, is wearing an ECW shirt. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Kendrick down and a standing moonsault gets two. Jackson offers a distraction though, allowing Kendrick to hit the Kendrick for the pin.

Rating: C. Crazy was starting to fight back when he got cut off through the pretty stereotypical means. Kendrick continues to look and feel different while making me want to se more of what he’s doing. That’s a great sign and it was another fine performance, even if it didn’t have much time.

Post match Jackson torture racks Crazy.

Edge comes in to see the Guerreros and says he and Vickie can get by this. As the head of the family, Edge has a plan but it has to be his way. Vickie agrees so they head to the ring, where, after a break, Edge calls Undertaker out and even demands he use the powers. Edge then grabs a chair and cracks Chavo in the back, setting up a Conchairto. Edge turns Vickie’s wheelchair over and says he is who Vickie needs to worry about. Undertaker needs to worry about Edge taking him to h***, but he’s taking La Familia with him. Especially Vickie. Nice little twist there as Edge continues to be built back up before Summerslam.

Overall Rating: C. As has been the case lately, the wrestling wasn’t great but the other stuff didn’t bail it out here. The arm wrestling stuff went on forever and while the Edge surprise as the end was nice, it only got them so far. They need to get to Summerslam now, but they also need something better than HHH vs. Khali as a secondary match. Not the worst show, but Edge continues to carry this thing on his back.

 

 

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Smackdown – July 25, 2008: Got Him

Smackdown
Date: July 25, 2008
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Mick Foley

We are done with the Great American Bash and HHH is still the World Champion, having beaten Edge, who is still having all kinds of issues with his new bride, Vickie Guerrero. That could go in a few different ways but odds are it is going to be the big focal point for the time being. Other than that, HHH Is going to need a new challenger for Summerslam so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Edge marrying and then cheating n Vickie Guerrero.

Opening sequence.

Here is MVP with the VIP Lounge to get things going. After bragging about his hair, MVP lists off his various nicknames before bringing out his controversial guest: Jeff Hardy. MVP gets right to the point by announcing that Hardy will be in a battle royal for the shot at HHH at Summerslam. Naturally MVP is the favorite to win the match but Hardy brings up that MVP hasn’t won a match in….well a long time actually.

MVP talks about how Hardy has a lot going on right now, like being on the cover of WWE Magazine. Hardy likes to take big risks, but some of them have resulted in some big failures. One of those failures is talked about in the Magazine, with Hardy saying it resulted in a 60 day suspension (but not actually saying what it was). MVP brings up Hardy losing the Intercontinental Title and his home in a fire, with Hardy not being sure why we’re talking about this.

MVP thinks Hardy’s reckless behavior might have resulted in the death of his dog and that is making him feel guilty (geez). The reality is that Hardy is ruining his career with his behavior and because of that, he will never be WWE Champion. MVP doesn’t buy that Hardy will never be suspended again, with Hardy saying he’ll be released instead.

That doesn’t work for MVP, who says Hardy needs to start acting like a professional and a grown man. Hardy says he’s all about second changes, which is something MVP should know about. MVP tells him to settle down and gets shoved to the floor. This was a really weird segment and felt more like a public punishment/embarrassment for Hardy than anything else.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Non-title. Before the match, Benjamin says he liberated the US Title from Matt Hardy and there ain’t no stopping him now. Benjamin throws him down to start and drops some knees as Foley talks about Benjamin yelling at him backstage. Yang gets in an enziguri into a headscissors as Foley compares Yang’s speed to Cool Papa Bell (look him up). Not that it matters as Benjamin hits Paydirt for the fast pin.

The Edgeheads come in to see Edge, who is proud of them for winning the Tag Team Titles. Edge wants to apologize but they say it was his business. They have a match to get ready for and leave rather quickly. Edge looks at his wedding ring.

Festus vs. Curt Hawkins

Jesse and Zack Ryder are here too. Festus strikes away to start but misses a charge in the corner. Back up and Festus knocks him to the floor, where Jesse cuts off Ryder from ringing the bell. They head back inside, where Festus grabs the fireman’s carry flapjack for the fast pin.

Post match the bell rings and Jesse and Festus get beaten down.

Jenny McCarthy and her celebrity friends don’t like autism.

Edge corners Alicia Fox in the back and says she needs to blend in more. Bam Neely is shown listening as Edge says they’ll talk about this at the hotel. Saying it in front of a camera might not have been the best idea.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Stevie Richards

Kozlov takes him into the corner to start but Richards hits a quick clothesline for two. A belly to belly overhead suplex sets up a front facelock suplex as Richards is in trouble. Richards has to fight out of a Fujiwara armbar and sidesteps a charge to put Kozlov on the floor. Back in and a dropkick gives Richards one but a tornado DDT is blocked. The headbutt to the chest gives Kozlov the pin.

We get the same video on Edge/Vickie Guerrero/Alicia Fox that opened the show.

Battle Royal

Great Khali, MVP, Big Show, Jeff Hardy, Mr. Kennedy, Umaga

For the World Title shot at HHH at Summerslam. MVP bails to the floor to start, leaving Hardy and Kennedy to go after Khali in the corner. That gets them nowhere as Khali hits a double clothesline, followed by a big chop to MVP. Show hits a side slam on Umaga and gets the required showdown with Khali. Umaga is back up to superkick both of them down and we take a break.

Back with no one having been eliminated and Hardy hitting the Whisper In The Wind on Umaga. Everyone pairs off again and Hardy tosses out MVP for the first elimination. Show and Umaga slug it out with Show shouldering him down and then throwing Umaga out. Kennedy hammers on Show and is thrown out for his efforts.

That leaves us with Hardy, Umaga and Khali, with Khali chopping Show down. Show blocks the tree slam and manages a chokeslam, only to get headscissored out by Hardy. A Swanton hits Khali but just seems to get him back to his feet. Hardy kicks him low to escape the vice but Khali hits a chop and gets the win.

Rating: C. They kept this moving quickly enough and it for a better battle royal. You can only get so far with six competitors in the first place but the good thing is almost anyone could have won. I’ll take that over having a bunch of people with no chance in there and this worked well enough. Khali is certainly a dragon for HHH to slay and it should make for a….something main event.

Post match HHH comes out for the staredown.

We see a not so nice place with someone talking about growing up in a bad neighborhood, which is why he got caught in a life of crime. It taught him what he needed to know though and that is the truth, because R-Truth is coming to Smackdown.

Michelle McCool vs. Maryse

Non-title. McCool takes her down by the hair to start before they trade rams into the buckle. A dropkick drops Maryse (with a kick) but she sends McCool outside as commentary talks about Jennie Finch (popular softball player of her day). Back in and Maryse hammers away, only to get rolled into the heel hook to give McCool the fast win.

Raw Rebound.

Chavo Guerrero wheels Vickie Guerrero into the arena, where Bam Neely greets them.

Next week: Maria.

Edge tells Bam Neely that he needs to talk to Vickie Guerrero, in the arena.

Brian Kendrick vs. Shannon Moore

Before the match, Kendrick tells us how lucky we are to get to see him in person, because he’s that good. He also introduces us to his rather large bodyguard named Ezekiel, who will deal with anyone who tries to touch greatness. Kendrick hammers away in the corner to start but misses a charge, allowing Moore to hit a quick legdrop. Ezekiel offers a distraction though and Kendrick gets in a shoulder on the apron. Kendrick grabs Sliced Bread #2, which is dubbed the Kendrick, for the fast pin.

Bam Neely tells Vickie Guerrero that Edge wants to see her in the arena…but he can’t remember who is supposed to do the apologizing. Vickie looks….I’m not sure really.

Ben Stiller doesn’t like autism.

Here is Edge for his big meeting with Vickie Guerrero. Edge gets right to the point and says he wants to apologize to her in public, face to face, so he would like her to come out here. It takes a pretty long time but Vickie, with Chavo Guerrero and Bam Neely (in the busiest show of his life), finally comes out. Edge apologizes, saying that the video didn’t show how many times he tried to say no to Alicia Fox.

She was so aggressive and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Edge had to stay to hammer out the wedding plans because he knew how important it was to both of them. Nothing means more to him that Vickie’s happiness. Vickie seems touched and says she understands so we get a big hug, with Edge looking relieved. They’re not done though, as Vickie says she was a woman scorned.

While they’re better now, she did something when she was mad at him: she reinstated the Undertaker. Panic ensues but Edge says that’s good business. Undertaker and HHH can fight each other and he can pick the bones and get his title back. It’s not that simple though, as Vickie has already made a match between Undertaker and Edge at Summerslam….and it’s inside Hell In A Cell. Edge knows he’s in big trouble to end the show. This was actually a pretty awesome segment as Vickie strung him along for the whole time, knowing the bombshell she had waiting for him.

Overall Rating: C+. This wasn’t your normal show, with only one match breaking three minutes in two hours. At the same time, they set up a few major matches for Summerslam, which is off to a hot start. The opening and closing segments both worked well, with the battle royal being fine enough. This wasn’t a show that focused on the wrestling, which is ok every so often as it can give you some important results. That’s what they did here and it made for a good show.

 

 

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Smackdown – July 4, 2008: They Did It Better Than Raw

Smackdown
Date: July 4, 2008
Location: Tulsa Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Mick Foley, Jim Ross

We’re into the new reality around here as both Night Of Champions and the full Draft are done. There is only one World Champion after Edge lost his title to CM Punk on Raw, meaning HHH is once again on top. Other than that, we should get to see how some of the new stars mesh with what’s left of the old. Let’s get to it.

Here is Night Of Champions if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at the 4th of July and talks about how the wrestlers get to live the American Dream with live action fireworks.

Opening sequence.

We open with MVP’s VIP Lounge. MVP wastes no time in bringing out his guest, the still World Champion HHH. After a nice hello, MVP congratulates HHH on his win at Night Of Champions and welcomes him to Smackdown. It’s been a long time since HHH has been here but he is already a big fan of MVP. HHH appreciates the bling and the Power Ranger outfit that MVP wears when he wrestles.

MVP says it’s cutting edge technology and Olympians wear it to compete. HHH says that sounds like a performance enhancer and MVP might get thirty days off. With that shrugged off, MVP brings up that he makes more money than HHH, who could see how that would make some people angry. Not that it matters as he would rather be a 12 time World Champion rather than the biggest waste of money in Smackdown history.

HHH is out here to get a rub from MVP though and he has some special footage. MVP doesn’t like that, so he says let’s play footage instead. We get a recap of CM Punk winning the Raw World Title and retaining it over JBL in the main event, followed by a brawl with security to end the show. Back in the arena, HHH says Edge got Punked out and MVP says Edge got his punk card pulled.

The jokes continue until Vickie Guerrero, back in the wheelchair, interrupts. HHH wishes her well on her upcoming wedding. HHH: “Imagine: marrying the boss to get ahead. Who thinks up that kind of stuff?” HHH thinks she and Edge just need to go to Vegas because he knows a great drive thru place. You don’t even need to be conscious!

Vickie brags about Edge’s success against Batista, but HHH says looking at her, there are things Edge would do that HHH would never do. Vickie doesn’t get what he means but eventually tells him to shut up. Edge is on his way here and speaking of Edge, HHH will be defending the title against him at the Great American Bash.

Michelle McCool vs. Victoria vs. Cherry vs. Maryse vs. Kelly Kelly

Star on a pole match with the winner facing Natalya, on commentary and now a redhead, for the Divas Title. A quick brawl to start leaves Kelly as the only one standing but Victoria knocks her off the pole. Cherry cuts Victoria off before Maryse has to knock Michelle down. A double electric chair drops Maryse and Cherry catapults Kelly into the corner. Victoria adds the slingshot flipping legdrop to Cherry and goes up. That’s cut off as well so Michelle kicks Maryse down and wins.

Rating: D+. What are you supposed to say about this? It’s the kind of match that is all about one thing and not exactly having much to do with wrestling. This felt like something out of another company and it really doesn’t fit with what they’ve been trying with the women in recent weeks. Michelle finally gets put into the title match, which is long overdue as she has been the obvious pick for a long time now.

Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder come in to see Vickie Guerrero, who wants to know where Edge is. They don’t know, so she asks them about Edge losing the title on Raw. Vickie blames them both and gives them a match with Jesse and Festus. That’s a punishment?

Edge arrives and a lot of people look at him in silence.

Video on Vladimir Kozlov.

Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder vs. Jesse And Festus

Festus is dressed as Uncle Sam. Hawkins and Ryder jump Festus to start and are quickly shrugged off, setting up a middle rope Hart Attack. Jesse has to fight out of a double team in the corner but gets pulled into another corner to begin the beating. Hawkins grabs a Russian legsweep for two and we hit the neck crank. Jesse is able to get over to the corner for the tag to Festus so house can be cleaned in a hurry. With Hawkins sent to the floor, a seated senton and the fireman’s carry flapjack (with a great sell from Ryder) finishes for Festus.

Rating: C. This was in fact a Jesse and Festus match and that’s about as good as it’s going to get for them. The team isn’t overly interesting and the one joke of Festus losing it at the bell has long since used up its usefulness. It’s not like Hawkins and Ryder are great, but they’re a heck of a lot better than the other choice.

Post match Edge comes to the ring and beats on the catatonic Festus as Hawkins and Ryder make Jesse watch. Edge throws in a nasty chair shot to the head and stares down at Festus.

Post match Vickie Guerrero tries to calm Edge down but even the Great American Bash match doesn’t make it better. Vickie mentions giving him permission and Edge loses it, saying she doesn’t understand what is going on. He has been at this for sixteen years to the day but Vickie cuts him off, saying she is still his boss. She calls him a fool and Edge storms out.

Jeff Hardy vs. John Morrison

Hardy shoves him down to start so Morrison grabs the arm to slow things down. Morrison gets sent outside and a slingshot dive….doesn’t launch as Hardy head fakes him instead, setting up a dive off the apron instead. Back in and Morrison hits a running knee to the face for two but the Flying Chuck misses. Hardy’s slingshot dropkick in the corner is broken up though and Morrison drops him out to the floor in a crash.

We take a break and come back with Morrison working on an armbar before blocking a Whisper In The Wind attempt. The armbar goes back on, allowing commentary to talk about Edge and Vickie Guerrero. Morrison cuts off a comeback attempt by sending him shoulder first into the post but Hardy counters a dive with a sitout powerbomb. Hardy fights up with some forearms and a cradle gets two. The Whisper In The Wind gives Hardy two but Morrison Pele kicks him on top. The Moonlight Drive doesn’t work for Morrison though and it’s the Swanton to give Hardy the pin.

Rating: B-. This was the “Hardy is here and he’s good on his own” match of the show. It worked well with these two showing the same chemistry they’ve had before, with Hardy showcasing his ability to fight from behind. Morrison feels good on his own too, making for a nice match.

Video on Maria.

Umaga vs. Funaki

Umaga wastes no time in knocking him into the corner and a superkick puts Funaki down as well. Foley even goes inter promotional by saying this is like Mark Henry beating up Colin Delaney on ECW. The running hip attack in the corner sets up the Samoan Spike for the squash pin.

Edge is ranting to Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder when he is told that Vickie Guerrero wants to see him. He goes to Vickie’s office, where she goes on about how she is going to be in the wheelchair with back problems for life (keeping in mind that she was standing earlier tonight). Edge says not to talk to her in that gibberish, so Vickie screams at him to GET OUT. That’s exactly what he does, with the door closing behind him. Edge walks a bit, then turns around and tries to get back in, but the door is locked.

US Title: Matt Hardy vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Shelton Benjamin

Hardy is defending and Bam Neely is here with Chavo. It’s a brawl to start with Matt running Kennedy over but Kennedy is back up with a kick to the face. Kennedy clotheslines Chavo in the corner but Benjamin is back up with a kick of his own. Chavo is back up to take Benjamin down, only to have Benjamin toss him into the air for a nasty crash. Matt and Kennedy put the other two down before knocking each other down as we take a break.

Back with Kennedy cleaning house as Foley compares this to Barack Obama vs. Hilary Clinton. Everyone but Chavo is caught in a Tower Of Doom but Benjamin is up to suplex Chavo down. Neely distracts Benjamin though and Chavo gets to Three Amigos Matt. The frog splash gets two as Kennedy makes the save. Matt hits a quick Twist of Fate on Chavo before dropping Kennedy onto Neely. Benjamin comes in and gets Twist of Fated onto Chavo, with Matt pinning the latter to retain.

Rating: B-. I believe they call this a sprint, as they were packing in whatever they could for about ten minutes. The 4th of July aspect meant that this more or less had to be the main event and it was a good match as a result. Matt retaining is a fine way to go too, even if getting the US Title off of ECW is not a bad idea.

Here is Edge, without music, for a chat. Edge says this will be his first and last statement about what happened on Raw. He was attacked twice on Raw and now he is going to get the World Title back at the Great American Bash. Ever since he came in here tonight, he was feeling the disrespect, including from Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder, who should have been trying to make him happy.

He didn’t even receive the support of Vickie Guerrero, who should be there for him in his time of need. Therefore, Edge is going to let us in on some dirty little secrets, but here is a screeching Vickie (walking) to interrupt. She asks what Edge is doing so Edge walks up to her. Edge says the wedding is off, leaving Vickie to scream a lot and take off her ring to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was good enough here (ignoring the stupid women’s match) and having Edge’s breakdown throughout the show made it work better. They have at least a main event set for the Great American bash and there is time to set up the rest of the card. Nice show here, as they didn’t have a bad lull after getting the new roster set up.

 

 

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Smackdown – June 20, 2008: Please Don’t Do A Sequel

Smackdown
Date: June 20, 2008
Location: HP Pavilion, San Jose, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Mick Foley

We’re coming up on Night Of Champions and Edge vs. Batista for the Smackdown World Title is already set. That alone should cover the Smackdown side of things but there are still a few other matches that could be added to the show. In addition, we are coming up on the Draft next week so things are going to be shaken up again. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with MVP in the VIP Lounge. MVP gets straight to the point by talking about the Draft, where EVERYONE can be sent to another show. He’s cool with going anywhere because he gets paid anywhere he goes. Maybe the people around here just don’t pay attention to his talents because they’re too busy getting married.

Cue Vickie Guerrero and the Edgeheads, with Vickie saying she doesn’t need this kind of treatment before her wedding. Last week, MVP beat CM Punk like he was supposed to but Vickie says that he didn’t take Punk out. Not that it matters, as Vickie backed out of their contract negotiations. Maybe MVP just doesn’t want to be here, but Vickie doesn’t have time for this. Therefore, tonight MVP can face Kane.

Matt Hardy vs. Bam Neely

Non-title and Chavo Guerrero is here with Neely. The bigger Neely knocks him into the corner to start as Cole says Neely calls himself the One Man Fence. With that stupid name out of the way, Matt gets dropped throat first across the top for two and we hit the chinlock. This lets Cole hype Million Dollar Mania and brag about the ratings success.

Matt fights up but can’t get the Side Effect, instead allowing Neely to kick him in the face for two. The chinlock with a bodyscissors goes on but Matt jawbreaks his way to freedom. Neely charges into a raised boot in the corner and a middle rope bulldog gives Matt two. Chavo offers a distraction though, only to be ejected almost immediately. Matt grabs the Twist of Fate for the fast pin.

Rating: C. This was a good example of why Neely wasn’t put in the ring very often, as this wasn’t exactly a great match. Neely is just a big guy with a slightly intimidating bald head but that’s about all there is for his strong points. Matt vs. Chavo should at least be better, but Chavo is only so interesting in the first place.

Video on Edge vs. Batista.

Post break Chavo Guerrero yells about the referee to Edge but Edge needs him to do something tonight: face Batista.

Michelle McCool vs. Layla

Foley reads a song he wrote about Michelle, which sounds a lot like Sweet Child Of Mine. Layla knocks her down to start and we’re off to the early chinlock. A legdrop gives Layla two and we’re back to the chinlock as Natalya comes out to watch. Michelle kicks her way out of trouble and hits a clothesline into a dropkick. A belly to belly gives Michelle two before a heel hook makes Layla tap.

Rating: C. Michelle continues to get better in the ring and has clearly put in the effort to become a more well rounded star. You might as well pencil her in for the Night Of Champions match against Natalya, as at least these women will have something to fight over after all this time. Layla continues to have the attitude, but there isn’t anything to back that up in the ring.

Edge comes in to Vickie Guerrero’s office and asks Alicia Fox to leave so they can talk about the wedding. Referee Charles Robinson comes in and Vickie yells at him for biased officiating, including ejecting Chavo Guerrero earlier tonight. That’s why he’ll be in the ring later. As a wrestler.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jamie Noble

Noble’s single leg doesn’t work as Kozlov wrestles him down without much trouble. Kozlov throws him around again as Foley gives us a history of Sambo, following Kozlov forcing him to read a book about it. A Guillotine choke slows Kozlov down for a change but he drives Noble into the corner for the break. Noble fights up but Kozlov headbutts him out of the air without much effort for the win.

Rating: C. They’re bringing Kozlov along slowly but logically, as he gets to beat a slightly bigger name, which should mean he wants some bigger competition soon. That should open up some more interesting doors for him, though he still isn’t exactly the most interesting monster villain in the world. That headbutt does look good though.

Kane vs. MVP

Non-title. Kane uppercuts him down to start and drops a fast elbow but gets caught in a headscissors of all things. Back up and Kane hits another uppercut and a powerslam gets two. MVP’s running boot in the corner gets the same and we hit the neck crank. Kane gets up and hits a side slam into the top rope clothesline but it’s too early for the chokeslam. Instead Kane shoves him out to the floor….where MVP just takes the countout.

Rating: C+. Somehow that might be the best match of the night here as Kane continues his dominance of MVP in a long running story. Other than that though, there wasn’t much to be seen here as they mainly stayed on the mat until Kane got fired up near the end. MVP seems to be stepping up a bit though and it’s nice to see that include a countout instead of taking a pin.

Post match Mark Henry comes in to lay out Kane.

Chavo Guerrero wishes a confused Charles Robinson luck.

Video on WWE’s work with Make-A-Wish.

Charles Robinson vs. Great Khali

Robinson tries to run but the Edgeheads throw him back inside for the bell. There’s the chop but Khali picks him up at two. Then he does it a few more times before finishing with the vice.

Robinson does a stretcher job.

Deuce N Domino vs. Jesse And Festus

Yes again. Festus wrecks them at the bell so Deuce N Domino brawl with each other on the floor. Deuce sends Domino back inside so the destruction can be completed. The fireman’s carry flapjack finishes Domino in a hurry.

Post match Deuce lays Domino out again.

We look at Hornswoggle and Finlay getting a Tag Team Title shot on ECW and Finlay laying out Miz.

Finlay vs. Miz

Hornswoggle and John Morrison are here too, with the latter joining commentary. Finlay grabs a headlock takeover to start and then runs him over with a clothesline for two. Back up and Miz manages to get in a kick to the ribs before knocking Finlay outside for a change. Miz stomps away back inside and we hit the cravate. That doesn’t last long as Finlay fights back and hits the running seated senton. Morrison goes after Hornswoggle, but it distracts Miz by mistake. That’s enough for Finlay to hit the Celtic Cross for the pin.

Rating: C. This hasn’t been a banner night for in-ring action and that was the case again here, with a mostly boring match to set up a Tag Team Title match that is only so interesting in the first place. Hornswoggle and Finlay are certainly fresh challengers though and that is one of the best things that could happen to the titles at the moment.

Mission Dollar Mania recap.

Night Of Champions rundown.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Batista

Bam Neely is here with Chavo. Hold on though as here is Vickie Guerrero to make Edge the guest referee and if Batista touches him, there’s no title match. Chavo’s headlock doesn’t get him very far as Batista shoulders him down without much effort. Batista cranks on the arm in the corner and grabs a Jackhammer for a very delayed two.

Edge even trips Batista down as they’re not bothering with the subtle stuff here. Neely gets in some choking but Chavo gets pulled out of the air. That earns Batista another trip from Edge so Chavo can get two and the chinlock goes on. Batista fires up and hits a backdrop into a powerslam, only to have Neely pull him outside for a one second countout.

Rating: C+. This was more a storyline advancement than much of a match and that’s the best way to go with something like this one. Batista continues to have to work to finally get his hands on Edge at the end of the road and that can take some time. They’re doing well enough here, and now Batista is going to be furious with just one Smackdown left before Night Of Champions.

Post match La Familia comes in to beat Batista down. Edge hits a spear to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Not much of a show here, as Night Of Champions has one noteworthy Smackdown match and that is all but set. Other than that, there isn’t much to do here and the wrestling wasn’t much better. Hopefully things change a bit next week, because another show like this one sounds very, very tiring. Not a bad show, but a completely skippable one.

 

 

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Smackdown – April 11, 2008: It Did More Damage

Smackdown
Date: April 11, 2008
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Gresham

We are on the road to Backlash and believe it or not, Edge is already getting his rematch after losing the World Title at Wrestlemania. Undertaker isn’t overly pleased and that rarely works out well for anyone else. Other than that, Batista isn’t happy with Raw’s Shawn Michaels, which almost has to be better than the last time he fought someone from Raw. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Great Khali is in the ring with a bunch of dancers and two shirtless guys. Apparently this is a Punjabi Peace Offering to Big Show. One of the men explains the concept and is about to quote Gandhi when Big Show comes out. Show isn’t interested as the ring clears, save for one of the men and the giants.

The offering is some sort of spiritual water, followed by a bottle of the world’s finest scotch. Show drinks it but cringes before being given….a black chicken so he will never be hungry? Finally Show is presented with a goat, so he will never be thirsty. Show says words can’t describe how he feels and he shakes Khali’s hand. Then the big right hand knocks Khali silly. That looked good.

John Morrison/The Miz vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

How many times are these teams going to fight? Non-title but we do see a clip of Miz and Morrison mocking Yang and Moore on the Dirt Sheet. Moore works on Morrison’s arm to start and Yang comes in with a dropkick for two. It’s off to Miz, who can’t get a belly to back suplex, as Yang kicks him in the face instead. Moore comes back in but gets sent throat first into the middle rope to cut him off. The slingshot elbow hits Moore and Morrison grabs the armbar.

Morrison stomps away as commentary questions Miz and Morrison’s ethical standards. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Moore’s back, which is enough to set up the comeback. Moore gets over for the tag to Yang so the pace can pick way up. The missile dropkick puts Morrison down for two but he’s back up with a kick to the face of his own for two of his own. A blind tag brings Miz back in though and a jumping neckbreaker finishes Yang.

Rating: C+. These teams work well together and it’s a shame that Moore and Yang didn’t get more of a chance. That’s one of the flaws with having a division that is about two teams at most and there just wasn’t room for a makeshift pairing. Miz and Morrison continue to roll though and I’m not sure who could take the titles anytime soon.

Teddy Long watches Edge and Vickie Guerrero get a couples massage. They’re both been so stressed out and Edge is so happy to be here instead of being at the arena.

Finlay vs. Matt Striker

Hornswoggle is here with Finlay and goes underneath the ring at the bell. They grapple against the ropes to start, where Hornswoggle sprays Striker with a water gun. The annoyed Striker kicks Finlay down and starts in on the arm. Finlay fight sup for the Regal Roll, setting up a catapult into the corner. Striker ties him up on the apron and hammers away, as he is known to do. Coach: “I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone use the apron like that.” Cole: “Then you haven’t been watching Smackdown because Finlay does it every match.” Point to Cole.

Now it’s Hornswoggle with a bucket of confetti (Striker: “Get out of here Sky Low Low!”) but it doesn’t work so well. Another bucket, this one of water, works better but Striker avoids a charge into the post. Hornswoggle’s shot with an inflatable hammer (called a shillelagh but it looked like a hammer) just annoys Striker, who is distracted enough for the real shillelagh shot to knock him cold for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t exactly there for the back and forth action, with the commentary being the best part. This was much more about having Finlay get back on track after his Wrestlemania loss and he got as much as he could out of beating Striker. It was a nothing match as expected, but Cole burning Coach was funny.

Post match Hornswoggle hits the Tadpole Splash.

Victoria vs. Michelle McCool

Before the match, Victoria introduces us to her new best friend: Natalya Neidhart, so we get a look at Natalya’s father Jim. Natalya says it’s about her and “When you mess with the best, you go down with the rest. Yeah baby.” With that thankfully out of the way, Michelle takes Victoria down and starts hammering away. A basement dropkick sends Victoria outside but she’s right back in with a hard clothesline. Victoria grabs a superplex for two but McCool fights back up. Natalya gets in a jacket shot though and Victoria grabs a rollup, with tights, for the win. Bad ending aside, that was a better women’s match than usual for Smackdown.

Michael Cole is in the ring and talks about how personal the issue between Shawn Michaels and Batista has become. We get a recap of their troubles, which stems from Michaels retiring Flair. Since the wrestling world can’t exist without Flair, Batista is mad at Shawn for not letting Flair win. That’s not what Flair wanted but Batista just wants Flair around (they make it sound like he’s dead). Here are Batista and Shawn to go face to face, with Shawn saying everyone, including Flair, has moved on. Well, except Batista that is, which has Shawn thinking.

Batista’s problem isn’t with Flair, but with Shawn himself. That’s true, and what Shawn did at Wrestlemania opened Batista’s eyes. The blood on Shawn’s hands isn’t getting washed out and Batista doesn’t like how Shawn got to the top. Batista was up front, which Shawn says is a luxury he had at 6’5, 280lbs. Shawn couldn’t do that and yes he did take shortcuts when he had to. He’ll knock Batista’s teeth down his throat at Backlash but for now he has to escape the Batista Bomb. The match will be good but Batista acting like the world is ending because Flair is gone is still a lot to take.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Matt Logan

Kozlov tosses him around and finishes with the reverse DDT in less than a minute. Total destruction.

Back to the spa, where Edge and Vickie have face masks on, complete with cucumbers over their eyes. Teddy Long brings them their drinks and has to take the cucumbers away. They’re even getting matching pedicures! Teddy’s disgusted look is great.

Matt Hardy vs. Chuck Palumbo

MVP is on commentary. As MVP calls out Coach and Cole for being ranked the worst commentary team of all time (with Cole no selling it), Matt reverses a headlock into a hammerlock. With that broken up, Palumbo kicks him in the back and cranks on the neck. Matt fights up and enziguris his way to freedom and they both crash out to the floor. That of course means an MVP distraction so Palumbo can jump Matt from behind and take over.

We take a break and come back with Matt fighting out of another neck crank. Palumbo suplexes him down and grabs a third neck crank, followed by a fourth because Palumbo seems a bit limited in the ring. Another comeback lets Matt grab a Side Effect to take over and Palumbo’s missed charge goes into the post. There’s the middle rope elbow to the back of the head but Palumbo plants Hardy for two. Not that it matters as the Twist of Fate finishes Palumbo off.

Rating: C. Palumbo’s usefulness continues to be putting others over as angry biker only has so much of a shelf life. Hardy is on a bit of a roll and is getting somewhere on the way to his US Title shot against MVP. Taking the title is going to be a bit easier said than done, but at least we are FINALLY getting to that point.

Post match MVP poses at Hardy and walks off.

Jesse and Festus are nervous about the latter’s match against Undertaker tonight.

Backlash rundown.

Undertaker vs. Festus

Non-title and Jesse is here with Festus. Undertaker starts fast with a big boot before going after the arm, including Old School. Festus manages a powerslam for two and hammers away in the corner. Another boot to the face and a clothesline give Undertaker two and they fight to the floor. Festus rams him into the barricade a few times and they head inside, where Festus’ right hands send Undertaker outside again.

Undertaker isn’t having that and sends him into the steps, setting up another kick to the head. Back in and Undertaker hits the running DDT and starts hammering away in the corner. They slug it out until Undertaker has to escape a fireman’s carry and grabs the chokeslam for two. Festus fights up and slugs away but the referee gets bumped. With the referee down, Undertaker grabs the triangle choke and, after a good while, the referee comes back in to say Festus is out.

Rating: C+. Undertaker gave Festus a lot more than I would have expected here, as Festus got to beat Undertaker up for a few minutes. The ending was a good way to make Undertaker’s choke feel dangerous, which is quite the upgrade for someone who is already such a monster. Festus showed something here though, and that is how unnecessary Jesse is to his success.

Post match Jesse runs in and breaks it up to protect Festus. Undertaker looks down at them and doesn’t appear happy before posing to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They kept this show moving despite very little actually happening. Undertaker being in the ring always feels like something special, even if he was facing someone like Festus. Other than that, Backlash is pretty much set and now we need to just get to the show in a few weeks. Some of the stories still need some more polish though and we could be getting some of that until we get to the pay per view. Not a great show here, but it held things in place well enough.

 

 

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