Monday Night Raw – May 16, 2022: Plans Change

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 16, 2022
Location: Scope Arena, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re in for a big grudge match with Omos vs. Bobby Lashley inside a cage. This is the third match between the two of them after they split the first two, though I’m not sure if it’s the best idea with the Cell pay per view a few weeks away. Other than that, we will probably get another push towards the Usos vs. RKBro on Friday, which will totally be the big conclusive ending. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Omos vs. Bobby Lashley.

Here’s what’s coming on the rest of the show.

Omos vs. Bobby Lashley

Inside a cage with MVP in Omos’ corner. Before the match, MVP runs down the history and goes over the ways you can win the match (pinfall, submission, escape) before promising a lot of violence. Hold on though as Cedric Alexander jumps Lashley from behind in the aisle and the big brawl is on. We take a break and come back with the opening bell, as Lashley hammers away until MVP gets in a cheap shot from the floor.

Lashley grabs a choke anyway but Omos hits him in the chest to break that up. Another MVP cheap shot lets Omos choke away and then take it into the corner for a running splash. MVP tries to interfere again but Lashley grabs him by the arm for a ram into the cage. The spear takes Omos down for two and Lashley elbows him in the face. Lashley looks ready to finish but has to cut off Cedric Alexander, who is pulled down into the cage. Omos boots Lashley in the face and throws him through the cage, allowing Lashley to step outside and win at 7:32.

Rating: C-. This felt like the last third (or even half) of a cage match but they were so rushed through everything that almost nothing had a chance to make an impact. They had a seven minute match with multiple interferences and a screwy finish. I know they’re a bit rushed, but could you slow down at least a little bit? The ending was a good way to protect Omos, but Lashley was going even with him throughout at worst so I’m not sure how much the protection helps anyway.

Long recap of Mustafa Ali vs. Miz/Theory.

Theory vs. Mustafa Ali

Non-title….and Theory says hang on a second. He thinks we need a special referee for this match, so here is Miz to replace the referee already in the ring. Hold on again though as Theory is using Vince McMahon’s advice of “expect the unexpected”. Therefore, Ali has a different opponent.

Veer Mahaan vs. Mustafa Ali

Miz is guest referee. Ali goes after him to start but gets knocked away. Some superkicks stagger Veer so Theory trips Ali up (Miz doesn’t mind). Veer gets low bridged to the floor and some dropkicks make it worse, but Miz gets in the way of Ali’s dive. Miz shoves Ali and the distraction lets Veer hit the Million Dollar Arm. The Cervical Clutch finishes for Mahaan at 2:47, as Ali’s punishment continues.

Post match the beating continues but the Mysterios run out for the save and knock Mahaan off the apron. The throw everyone else in the pot feud continues.

Becky Lynch has seen Sasha Banks and Naomi leaving the building before the Six Pack Challenge. Lynch is going to just be the new #1 contender and takes the night off, but Adam Pearce makes Lynch vs. Asuka for the #1 contendership tonight instead. So they advertised a Six Pack Challenge and then changed it inside of 50 minutes. That’s a new mark even for them.

Riddle vs. Jimmy Uso

Jey Uso is here with his brother but there is no Randy Orton because of a family commitment. Jimmy starts with the kicks but gets caught in a triangle choke to the floor. A Jey distraction breaks up the apron kick though, meaning Riddle kicks Jey instead. Jimmy gets in a dive and Riddle is sent into the steps as we take a break. Back with Jimmy hitting another enziguri, setting up the running Umaga Attack for two.

The chinlock goes on but Riddle is back up with a few shots of his own. As the Countdown To Cody clock comes up (before his ten o’clock appearance), the pop up Samoan drop gives Jimmy two. Jimmy goes up top but has to break up the super RKO attempt, only to have the Superfly Splash hit knees. A rollup has Riddle in trouble but the referee catches the interference, earning Jey an ejection. Riddle small packages Jimmy for the pin at 10:32.

Rating: C+. I wasn’t all that interested when the match was another tag match preview between two singles wrestlers but at least it wound up being pretty good. Riddle beating the Usos on his own doesn’t exactly make the Usos look great, but maybe they have something better planned for Smackdown. I still don’t buy the titles being unified on TV, though Friday should have the big fight feeling.

Video on AJ Styles/Finn Balor/Liv Morgan’s lack of luck against the Judgment Day.

Earlier today, Morgan was upset about Rhea Ripley when Los Lotharios came in to offer her a spot in the Kiss Cam. That’s a no, but AJ Styles and Finn Balor came in to chase them off. The guys offer her a spot in their corner tonight but she’ll think about it.

The Judgment Day is rather happy with how everything is going but Edge knows that there are some people who want in. They know everyone wants power, so anyone who wants to come in and move to the next level is welcome. It could even be you, AJ Styles. They could use his athleticism, so join him on top of the mountain. Either be by their side or at their feet, because they aren’t stopping.

AJ Styles/Finn Balor vs. Los Lotharios

Liv Morgan is here with Styles and Balor, apparently having made up her mind at some point today, because saying “I’m in” was too much to ask. Humberto actually stomps Styles down into the corner to start and it’s off to Angel to pound on the back. The abdominal stretch goes on, with Humberto getting in a kick to the ribs for a bonus. Styles fights up and brings in Balor to clean house, setting up the double slingshot dives to send us to a break.

Back with Humberto working on a half crab before Angel comes in for a double half crab. Styles powers out and brings in Balor to clean house. Angel actually cuts that off with a superkick and hands it back to Humberto. The moonsault hits raised boots (with Humberto taking a huge bump off the impact) and it’s the shotgun dropkick to Humberto in the corner. AJ Phenomenal Forearms Angel and it’s the Coup de Grace to finish Humberto at 9:15.

Rating: C+. Los Lotharios are a good team most of the time but in this case, they went with the right call of having AJ and Balor take them down. There is almost no way to imagine a midcard team beating a pair of former World Champions so don’t bother going nuts with it. At least it should be good when Balor or Styles joins up with Edge and company.

Too Sweeting ensues after the match.

Kevin Owens, in a Sami Zayn Forever shirt, meets the Alpha Academy, who has the results of Ezekiel’s DNA tests. They open the envelope….but the results have been contaminated by the presence of BARBECUE SAUCE on the sample. Otis is immediately blamed but Gable tries to keep things calm. Next weeks, Gable promises to expose Ezekiel for the fraud that he is. Tonight though, Gable is going to beat it out of him in the ring. Owens: “THAT’S WHAT YOU SAY EVERY WEEK!”

We recap Sonya Deville losing her job as a WWE boss last week, followed by losing to Alexa Bliss in about thirty seconds.

Alexa Bliss vs. Sonya Deville

Deville gets slapped in the face to start as the match has already lasted longer than last week’s. Bliss takes her down with a legsweep but misses the standing moonsault. A running knee gives Deville two and the chinlock goes on. Another running knee blasts Bliss so Deville goes to unhook a turnbuckle pad. The distracted referee misses Deville hitting a clean spinebuster but runs over for a delayed two. Bliss hits a DDT for the pin at 4:01.

Rating: C-. They had a bit of something here with the delayed cover, but it’s hard to get into the idea of Deville being screwed over. She was more interesting when she was serious a few years ago, and the idea of her getting what happened to her over and over again is only going to get so much of my attention. The match itself wasn’t great, but Bliss is still probably shaking off some ring rust.

Post match Deville yells at the referee and then slaps him.

We recap Seth Rollins attacking Cody Rhodes and Stomping him on the announcers’ table.

Here is Cody Rhodes for a chat. He has been told that Seth Rollins is not here tonight but he hopes that Rollins is listening. Last week, Rollins poured gasoline on the fire but the reality is that Rollins is his own biggest threat. Rollins has built his own purgatory and wants to pull Rhodes down in with him. We flash back to 2011, when Rollins arrived with the rest of the Shield, with Rhodes as one of the bitter guys in the back. Rollins went on a rocket to the top by shattering the glass ceiling, which Rhodes never knew was there in the first place.

Rhodes’ story is a little different. He lost a lot and worked his way up, even if he was looking at the lights most nights. Now he has a second chance, and he isn’t taking it for granted. Rollins isn’t denying him a second chance so Rollins will have to kill him. So let’s run it back one more time…..inside the Cell. Rollins, who seems to be backstage, pops up to say Rhodes is nuts because anyone inside that Cell with him is changed. The match is on. I’d again like to point out that Rhodes has looked and sounded like a star since he returned. That makes all the difference in the world.

Asuka is giddy about getting to face Becky Lynch tonight.

Ezekiel vs. Chad Gable

Kevin Owens is on commentary and Otis is in Gable’s corner. Before the match, Owens doesn’t want to see a photo of Ezekiel and Elias together. Gable takes him down by the arm to start but Ezekiel is back up with an armdrag. That doesn’t work for Gable, who wants some SHOOSHING, only to have Ezekiel come back with a Gory Stretch. Gable slips out and gets into the ropes, with Ezekiel being sent outside.

Otis drives Ezekiel into the apron and we take a break. Back with Gable working on the arm but Ezekiel comes up with a clothesline. A spinebuster gets two and the jumping knee gets the same. Gable sends him into the corner for two but Ezekiel comes out with a kick to the chest. Otis’ distraction lets Gable grab a rollup, which is reversed into another rollup to give Ezekiel the pin at 10:59.

Rating: C. The more I see of Ezekiel, the more I like him. It isn’t like Elias was tearing the house down every week in the ring so there isn’t much of a bar to clear. Ezekiel had a perfectly watchable match here and is different enough than Elias to make it a bit more interesting. Not exactly a classic, but Ezekiel is an interesting enough change of pace for the time being.

R-Truth finally serves Akira Tozawa with his divorce papers and then runs off. Dana Brooke comes in to thank Truth for serving Reggie last week, but Truth wants to consummate with the 24/7 Title. Dana runs off and bumps into Carmella. Insults ensue, including Dana saying Carmella hasn’t mattered since the Guy With No Chin was here. Truth runs up and asks Carmella for help getting the title back. Sure, but she wants Dana Brooke when the time is right. As we continue adding people to this thing.

Here is Lacey Evans, who is introduced as a mother, daughter, Marine and more. Evans puts over the military and thanks them for everything they do. She is proud of what she has done and knows she has a long way to go, but no one in the back is any better than she is. I’m still not sure what they’re doing with Evans and I don’t think WWE does either.

Riddle is ready for the Usos.

The Usos are ready for Riddle.

Becky Lynch vs. Asuka

The winner gets a shot at Bianca Belair, at ringside, at Hell In A Cell. Becky starts fast but gets caught with the running hip attack on the apron. They go to the floor, where Becky hits a suplex into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Asuka getting two off a backslide and kicking Becky in the head. A knee to the face sets up a German suplex and a sliding knee gives Asuka two.

Becky gets in a running shot of her own for two and frustration begins to set in. A rollup is countered into the Asuka Lock but Becky flips backwards for the cover to escape. The cross armbreaker sends Becky to the ropes so she heads outside to yell at Belair. Asuka follows her out, earning herself a whip into Belair. That’s enough to bring Belair to the apron, allowing Becky to grab Asuka’s umbrella. That takes a bit too long though and it’s the green mist into a buzzsaw kick to give Asuka the pin at 9:52.

Rating: B-. They didn’t have time to get great here but it was a good win to build Asuka back up and get her ready for the title match next month. Becky’s slide continues, but she is so far and away established as a top star that it doesn’t matter. This felt like a big enough main event, though I could go for the pay per view version again.

The referee doesn’t seem interested in the fact that Lynch is green to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t exactly a strong show but the whole ordeal with Naomi/Sasha Banks walking out kind of turned parts of the show upside down. They started moving towards the Cell, but I still don’t know what the biggest match on the show is supposed to be. That is the problem with the lack of a World Champion, though it is likely to stay that way for a long time to come. For now, this worked well enough, even if nothing was exactly a show stealing classic. They still don’t have the terrible stuff and that is an important level to reach.

Results
Bobby Lashley b. Omos – Lashley escaped the cage
Veer Mahaan b. Mustafa Ali – Cervical Clutch
Riddle b. Jimmy Uso – Small package
AJ Styles/Finn Balor b. Los Lotharios – Coup de Grace to Humberto
Alexa Bliss b. Sonya Deville – DDT
Ezekiel b. Chad Gable – Rollup
Asuka b. Becky Lynch – Kick to the head

 

 

 

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Smackdown – April 22, 2022: What If Next Week Never Comes?

Smackdown
Date: April 22, 2022
Location: MVP Arena, Albany, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We are less than two weeks away from Wrestlemania Backlash and it is time to start adding some things to the card. Roman Reigns still doesn’t have anything to do, though there is still the chance that they pick up whatever they stared with Shinsuke Nakamura two weeks ago. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the contract signing between Charlotte and Ronda Rousey with Adam Pearce in charge. After a recap video of their issues together….there is no contract. Drew Gulak brings it out and has even made a special PowerPoint presentation (it was his thing when he was on 205 Live) about the rules of an I Quit match but Charlotte tells him to shut up. She has been looking forward to this match for a long time and lists off some of the ways she can make Rousey submit.

Charlotte signs and says she beat Rousey at Wrestlemania. Rousey explains the idea, allowing Charlotte to say she won at Wrestlemania. After a few more times saying the same thing, Charlotte turns the table over and pulls out a kendo stick to beat on Rousey (because putting a lead pipe under there would be too simple). That doesn’t work for Rousey, who takes it away and knocks Charlotte to the floor. Rousey grabs Gulak’s arm for the armbar before demanding the contract and a pen. The contract is signed with the armbar still on before Rousey cranks on it a bit more.

We look back at Sheamus/Ridge Holland losing the slightly unhinged Butch, allowing him to beat up New Day.

Xavier Woods vs. Butch

Kofi Kingston, Sheamus and Ridge Holland are at ringside too. Butch knocks him down to start and drops a knee on the arm before twisting away at the wrist. Back up and Butch rips at his face before being knocked outside. A dropkick through the ropes nearly has everyone else getting in a brawl as we take a break. Back with Butch working on the arm again but Woods fights up again. That earns him a kick to the head and the X Plex gives Butch two. Not that it matters as Woods grabs a DDT and Backwoods gives him the pin at 8:54.

Rating: C. Yep, they really are jobbing Butch in back to back matches to get a small package over for the least important singles wrestler in New Day. Somehow that’s their priority when Butch is in the ring rather than getting lost outside of the ring every week. Every time I think they can’t overthink thinks and miss what should be obvious even more, they do something like this.

Post match Butch beats up a security guard and walks off through the crowd.

Aliyah recaps Ricochet’s wins as champion and asks him what’s next. Jinder Mahal and Shanky come up and Shanky gets a title shot, which didn’t seem to be Mahal’s plan.

Teddy Goodz vs. Gunther

Gunther takes him down by the arm to start and avoids a dropkick. The big boot drops Goodz again as Ludwig Kaiser seems very pleased at ringside. Some chops in the corner rock Goodz and it’s the sleeper into the powerbomb to finish for Gunther at 2:10. That’s the kind of dominance it should continue to be.

We recap RKBro vs. the Usos.

Riddle is ready for Jey Uso tonight when Drew McIntyre comes in to say he’s happy with Randy Orton standing up to the Bloodline. Orton says he and McIntyre are good. Everyone leaves but Sami Zayn pops up behind them and seems rather pleased.

Video on Xia Li, as they remember she exists.

Riddle vs. Jey Uso

Their partners are here too. They strike it out to start with Uso getting the better of things with a kick to the face to put him down. Jey stomps on the ribs as commentary recaps the history between Riddle and Orton. They head outside with Riddle being dropped onto the announcers’ table as we take a break.

Back with Jey hitting an enziguri but Riddle fights up anyway and strikes away. The jumping knee sets up the Floating Bro for two, followed by the hanging DDT. Orton beats up Jimmy on the floor and drops him onto the announcers’ table. Jey grabs a pop up neckbreaker for two, with Riddle kicking out in a weird way. Back up and Riddle hits a jumping knee but Jey superkicks him down. The Superfly Splash hits raised knees though and a small package gives Riddle the pin (second small package win in three matches) at 12:21.

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here, with Riddle getting to shine on his own a bit. As annoying as it is to have these singles matches to set up the Tag Team Title match, it isn’t like there are any other teams to beat. That makes the unification that much better, though it still seems like there should be ANY other way to set up the showdown.

Here are Naomi and Sasha Banks to brag about how great and close they are. They have no competition so here are Shayna Baszler and Natalya to interrupt. Banks and Naomi didn’t beat them at Wrestlemania, but Naomi calls Natalya a crazy cat lady. The match seems all but official.

Happy Corbin comes up to Madcap Moss and is willing to forgive him, but Moss being his sidekick again has the same odds as Corbin growing a full head of hair.

Video on Raquel Rodriguez.

Madcap Moss vs. Angel

Moss hammers away to start and knocks Angel off of the apron and onto Humberto. On the way back in, Humberto grabs the leg though and Angel gets in a kick to the head. That doesn’t last long as Moss fights up for a quick comeback and grabs the Punchline for the pin at 2:18. Could have been worse.

Post match Happy Corbin comes in and lays Moss out before stealing the Andre the Giant Battle Royal trophy.

Sami Zayn knocks on Roman Reigns’ door.

Post break, Reigns is yelling at the Usos when Zayn comes in. Zayn overheard what Drew McIntyre was saying about the Bloodline and thinks he could be a valuable ally to the team. He acknowledges Reigns but needs Reigns to recognize him. Reigns doesn’t say anything until Zayn leaves, when he tells the Usos to take his name out of McIntyre’s mouth. Leave it to WWE to wait almost a month

It’s time for chapter three of the Lacey Evans story, as she talks about how much worse things got for her drug addicted father. She had to get ready for the prom herself while also being a good amateur wrestler. Then she walked home in the rain and found her dad asleep on the couch with a lit cigarette falling out of his mouth. It made her want something better and drove her to become something better, which she is today.

Here’s the problem with this idea: these stories are sad and it does make you feel for Evans. She went through a nightmare growing up and worked hard to get where she is. Then you realize that she’s a very good looking blonde with an amazing backstory and a military career to go with an athletic background. WWE would break down the door to her house to sign her up as fast as they could. It was a very hard road to get there, but it’s also a bit difficult to but that she had to put in that much effort to get her name on a WWE deal once she started in wrestling. Telling the story is a good idea, but they needed to get the ending right.

Drew McIntyre vs. Sami Zayn

Lumberjack match, with the Usos getting their own entrance. Sami tries to run outside at the bell but gets thrown back inside so Drew can unload in the corner. McIntyre is sent outside for a beating from the lumberjacks, setting up the big staredown. We take a break and come back with the Glasgow Kiss dropping Sami. McIntyre fights up and beats on Zayn as the lumberjacks get in a brawl. Zayn tries to escape but gets thrown back in as everyone else brawls on the floor. McIntyre finally hits the big running flip dive onto the pile but Zayn uses the distraction to run into the crowd for the countout at 8:10.

Rating: C. This was a weird one as it was more about setting up another rematch, which will hopefully be the conclusive match for a change. Zayn continuing to be a weasel works, though as usual, a lumberjack match is kind of hard to get into as they almost all follow the same formula. Just get to the blowoff next week and let both guys move on.

Post match Adam Pearce comes out to say Zayn isn’t getting away with this and makes McIntyre vs. Zayn IV in a cage match next week. Jinder Mahal and Shanky jump McIntyre but he fights up and Claymore Mahal. McIntyre poses on the announcers’ table to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. As it has been for the last couple of weeks, Smackdown continues to feel like it has no direction. The show comes and goes without much happening, as it always feels like “wait until next week” but next week never gets here. This show featured Butch losing again, the same ending we’ve seen to McIntyre vs. Zayn twice before, Moss beating the other half of the same team and a contract signing. It’s like they’re playing the hits if the best they could do was reach the top 2000. Another show that didn’t feel important in the slightest this week, which is far too long of a trend these days.

Results
Xavier Woods b. Butch – Backwoods
Gunther b. Teddy Goodz – Powerbomb
Riddle b. Jey Uso – Small package
Madcap Moss b. Angel – Punchline
Drew McIntyre b. Sami Zayn via countout

 

 

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Smackdown – March 25, 2022: As Frustrated As I Have Been In A Long Time

Smackdown
Date: March 25, 2022
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We’re eight days away from Wrestlemania and believe it or not, the preview for the show has a picture of Roman Reigns/Brock Lesnar/Paul Heyman, because that is the only thing on this show that matters. It would be nice for the new Intercontinental Champion to get a Wrestlemania match set up, but I wouldn’t bet on it anytime soon. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Brock Lesnar’s path of rage last week, including the fork lift attack on the Bloodline’s SUV.

Opening sequence.

Brock Lesnar is outside of Reigns’ dressing room and says that he has paid some fines and bought some vehicles, including a blood red SUV for Reigns himself. Now upper management has told him to not have any contact with Reigns, so he’ll be sitting in Reigns’ locker room and wait for a good provoking. Lesnar goes into the empty room, likes what he has found (“Not as good as mine but not bad”) and puts his feet on the table, breaking it in the process. As Lesnar tends to do.

Jimmy Uso vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Jey Uso and Rick Boogs are here too, with Boogs throwing Jey at Jimmy to send us to a break before the bell. The battle over wrist control doesn’t last long so Nakamura gives us a COME ON before taking Jimmy down. Good Vibrations makes it worse for Jimmy and he heads outside for a breather.

Back in and Jimmy gets two off a belly to back suplex, setting up the chinlock. Nakamura fights up but gets sent to the apron and then out to the floor. Jimmy’s suicide dive is cut off by a kick to the head though and we take a break. Back with Nakamura knocking Jimmy down again but Jey jumps Boogs before Kinshasa can launch. The distraction lets Jimmy hit a superkick for two so Jey goes after the guitar. That distraction lets Nakamura hit a spinning kick to the head, setting up Kinshasa for the pin at 8:36.

Rating: C-. It’s not a good sign when you need to go double interference and the fact that it’s a singles match to set up a tag match at the pay per view. This is one of WWE’s most overdone tropes and I’m not sure why it is supposed to be impressive. Nakamura is a former multiple time singles champion and a former Royal Rumble winner. Jimmy Uso is a career tag guy with pretty much no notable singles wins. Why is this an accomplishment for Nakamura?

Raw Rebound, focusing on Kevin Owens as Steve Austin.

Brock Lesnar is eating Roman Reigns’ grapes and breaking his bottle of champagne.

Shad Gaspard is receiving the Warrior Award at the Hall of Fame.

Drew McIntyre could take out Happy Corbin tonight but he’d rather do it on the biggest stage of them all.

Video on Happy Corbin’s fall and rise back up to the top of the world. Then he joined up with Madcap Moss and took out Drew McIntyre, leading to their Wrestlemania match.

Kofi Kingston vs. Ridge Holland

Hold on though, as Kofi has a surprise: Holland is facing the returning Xavier Woods! The fact that Woods was introduced as accompanying Kofi to the ring might take away some of the surprise.

King Woods vs. Ridge Holland

Sheamus and Butch are here too. Holland throws him around to start and gets small packaged for the pin at 46 seconds. Ok then.

Paul Heyman joins us from Roman Reigns’ car after a trip to Del Frisco’s Steakhouse. They’re on their way here and know what Brock Lesnar has done. Threats are made if Lesnar isn’t out of there.

Here’s Ronda Rousey for a chat but first we recap her recent issues with Charlotte. Rousey says she isn’t taking Charlotte’s title, because after Charlotte taps, she can give the title over. Then she’ll be the “Women’s Smackdown Champion.” Rousey: “Why do we have to say women anyway? Call me the Smackdown Champion”.

She calls Charlotte out, but here is Charlotte via satellite to say she isn’t here tonight. Rousey says she broke her first arm at 14 and now she has lost count of how many she has broken. Charlotte laughs it off so Rousey threatens to take her arm off at Wrestlemania. As usual, Rousey is not the most natural speaker.

Kayla Braxton comes in to see Brock Lesnar and asks if he should leave Roman Reigns’ locker room. Lesnar says go find Reigns because he is running out of things to break.

Ricochet vs. Humberto

Championship Contenders match. Angel is here with Humberto for the Los Lotharios Kiss Cam and it takes some time for them to find a woman to kiss. We take a break before the match and come back with…this.

Ricochet vs. Angel

Yes they changed the match during the commercial, because WWE likes to do weird things. Angel starts fast but gets set into the corner, allowing Ricochet to nip up. A jumping knee sets up a high crossbody but Humberto offers a distraction, allowing Angel to small package him for the pin at 2:03.

Post match Ricochet says not so fast so let’s do this too.

Ricochet vs. Humberto

Championship Contenders match. Ricochet isn’t playing this time and knocks Humberto outside, setting up the big running flip dive to send us to a break. Back with Ricochet hitting a springboard hurricanrana, setting up a middle rope moonsault. Angel’s distraction lets Humberto roll him up for two but Ricochet rolls some suplexes for two. Angel pulls Humberto out of the way of the 630 so Ricochet hits a big dive to wipe Angel out. That sends Angel underneath the ring so Ricochet hits a tornado DDT on the floor. Then Angel grabs the foot and Ricochet is counted out at 7:03.

Rating: D+. Well that’s to be expected. Since there is absolutely no other way to set up a title match than by having the champ lose twice in ten minutes, here we are. Ricochet couldn’t just say he wanted a challenge, have both of them come out, and then say sure I’ll do it. No, that would be too interesting and make him look too good. This is the best idea that they had and that says a lot.

Austin Theory runs up behind Pat McAfee and slaps his headset off. McAfee gives chase but Theory runs into Mr. McMahon’s office, leaving McAfee slapping the door. Shouldn’t McAfee have tripped on the way there and then paid a janitor for messing something up? Seems how most good guys are on this show.

We hear about HHH’s in-ring career being over, which is rather sobering given how close to death he was.

Sasha Banks vs. Rhea Ripley vs. Carmella vs. Queen Zelina

All of their partners are here too. Banks and Ripley clear the ring to start and Rhea hits the Rey Mysterio sitout bulldog. Everyone, including partners, get inside for a big brawl and we take a break. Back with the partners all gone and Baszler saving banks from the Prism Trap. Zelina comes in and covers all three for two each but gets pulled into the Bank Statement.

Baszler tries another save so it’s a double Bank Statement with Ripley having to make a save. Banks has to save Ripley from the Kirifuda Clutch, leaving Baszler to save Banks from Zelina’s Code Red. With Baszler on the floor, Ripley hits a flip dive but Vega takes Ripley out as well. Back in and the Bank Statement makes Vega tap at 8:48.

Rating: C. The champ loses again because that’s how you set up title matches around here. This was another match where everyone was doing stuff until one of them got the pin, which is somehow supposed to make me want to see these four teams in a match at Wrestlemania. It didn’t do so in particular, and I doubt it will either on Raw when the other four do the same thing.

Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman arrive. Heyman says he’s worried but Reigns says he’ll be fine. Reigns: “But Brock Lesnar won’t.”

We run down the Wrestlemania card.

Here are Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman for the big final chat. Reigns says Brock Lesnar better be out of his locker room so we cut to said locker room, where Lesnar is nowhere to be found. We cut to the parking lot, where Lesnar has a PICKAXE to smash up Reigns’ car. Reigns says there won’t be any weapons at Wrestlemania, so Lesnar comes to the ring.

Cue Lesnar through the crowd to stare at Reigns from the announcers’ table. Security comes out so Lesnar grabs a chair and dives onto the guards. Reigns and Heyman (plus the Usos, who just appeared) bail so Lesnar beats up security some more. Reigns pops up on screen and promises to make Lesnar acknowledge him at Wrestlemania.

This was one of the most frustrating endings to a show I have seen in a long time. The segment was good, as have been most of the Lesnar vs. Reigns showdowns. What makes it frustrating is that WWE knows how to make a match feel important but they would rather just focus on this one match than anything else on the show. They have intentionally made Wrestlemania a one match show and it has been such a huge part of what is wrong with this year’s show.

Overall Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time I was this annoyed at a WWE show and everything turned on those Ricochet matches. This show felt like it was either actively trying to make everyone (save Lesnar) I’m supposed to cheer for at Wrestlemania look like a loser or trying to make every match as uninteresting as possible. Lesnar vs. Reigns might as well be the whole show and WWE continues to use the same tropes they have used for years to weaker and weaker impact. This show got on my nerves in a big way and that is not a good sign eight days before the biggest weekend of the year.

Results
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Jimmy Uso – Kinshasa
King Woods b. Ridge Holland – Small package
Angel b. Ricochet – Rollup
Humberto b. Ricochet via countout
Sasha Banks b. Queen Zelina, Shayna Baszler and Rhea Ripley – Bank Statement to Vega

 

 

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Smackdown – March 11, 2022: They Need More Than That

Smackdown
Date: March 11, 2022
Location: Legacy Arena, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We are rapidly approaching Wrestlemania and the card is probably about half done. There are still a lot of matches left to be set for the card and it would be nice to see one or more of those matches being added this week. WWE has already set up more than a few matches and stories for the show so at least they have something started. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at Brock Lesnar getting beaten down by the Bloodline at Madison Square Garden, leaving him a bloody mess.

Here is a ticked off Brock Lesnar (who looks perfectly fine and is already back six days after that kind of a beating because taking your time is a lost concept in modern wrestling) who gets right to the point. He doesn’t care about Wrestlemania contracts or WWE Titles (which he throws out of the ring) because all he wants is Reigns’ blood.

Lesnar demands that Reigns get out here but he gets Paul Heyman instead. Heyman says Lesnar wants Reigns….but Reigns isn’t here tonight for Lesnar’s protection. Lesnar: “If Reigns isn’t here, who is going to protect you Paul?” The chase is on (with Heyman running more than he has in years) but Lesnar stops to beat up security, allowing Heyman to escape in a car.

We look back at Sheamus and Ridge Holland destroying Big E.’s ATV.

Sheamus and Holland, still with their sledgehammers, saying they improved the ATV by making it lighter. They want a real fight night tonight and they have someone who wants in on it: Butch, better known as Pete Dunne in a hat (who looks a bit miserable, but that might be Dunne). This is a brilliant idea, because when you have Pete Dunne, a 20 something year old phenom, your best bet is to set him up for Bushwhackers jokes.

New Day vs. Sheamus/Ridge Holland

Butch is here with Sheamus and Ridge. New Day goes after Sheamus before the bell to start so we settle down to Holland taking Kofi down and dropping a knee to the face. Kofi hits a springboard dropkick for two so it’s off to Sheamus vs. Big E. The chase is on and Sheamus catches him with the forearms to the chest. Everything breaks down and Kofi hits a flip dive onto Holland, leaving Big E. to miss the apron splash. A jumping knee drops Big E. and we take a break.

Back with McAfee explaining that we may have known Butch by another name but Sheamus and Holland know him as Butch. My goodness it never ceases to amaze me how this company makes things more complicated than they need to be. Kofi kicks Sheamus down and loads up Trouble in Paradise but a Holland distraction breaks it up. SOS gets two instead with Holland making the save. Big E. misses the dive to the floor and Holland suplexes him ONTO HIS HEAD, leaving him down on the floor. Butch offers a distraction and Sheamus Brogue Kicks Kofi for the pin at 9:25.

Rating: C. The match was pretty good but oh my goodness that suplex was terrifying. These injuries keep happening with Holland and it might be time to take another look at him being in this spot. It keeps happening over and over and that is not something that can continue. What matters is him being ok, because that was absolutely terrifying. As for the match itself, it was hard to focus due to the injury and WWE making Pete Dunne an Oliver Twist cosplayer.

We take a long look at Kevin Owens challenging Steve Austin for Wrestlemania and Austin accepting. It is almost strange to see Austin doing a regular look at the camera promo like this.

Sami Zayn is mad about losing his Intercontinental Title and it is made even worse by seeing a clip of Johnny Knoxville having a banner, featuring Sami’s phone number on a banner. That hasn’t sat well with Sami, but he knows he can overcome Ricochet in his rematch for the Intercontinental Title this week.

Drew McIntyre/Viking Raiders vs. Jinder Mahal/Happy Corbin/Madcap Moss

McIntyre comes to the ring but we see the villains jumping the Raiders in the back. McIntyre slowly walks towards the back and here are Mahal and Shanky to go after him, with Moss and Corbin joining in. That is broken up without much trouble, leaving McIntyre to stare Corbin down. Everyone else gets back up and McIntyre gets caught in the ring, with Corbin laughing in his face. McIntyre fights up and clears the ring, making me wonder why in the world I’m supposed to want to see this match at Wrestlemania. No match of course.

We look at Ronda Rousey beating Sonya Deville last week and then making Charlotte tap out to an ankle lock.

Here is Ronda Rousey for a chat. She is ready for one of the biggest matches of her career at Wrestlemania against Charlotte. Rousey isn’t happy with Charlotte saying she is all about the armbar, because it is like saying Mike Tyson is a one trick pony because he just knocked people out. There are thousands of ways to get to an armbar, but she has spent the last few years refining the ankle lock, as taught to her by her first mentor in wrestling, Kurt Angle.

Cue Charlotte to interrupt, saying that Rousey will be in for the biggest fight of her life. Rousey needs to be worrying about winning on the biggest stage, where she won’t be tapping Charlotte out. Rousey: “Like I already did?” Charlotte calls her a one trick pony so Rousey tells her to bring it, and even offers to let her take off the high heels. Instead Charlotte walks away, with Rousey saying Charlotte is either tapping at Wrestlemania or Rousey is taking her arm home. Talking continues to not be Rousey’s strong suit but she was passable enough here.

We look at Brock Lesnar chasing Paul Heyman off earlier today. Lesnar has left too.

Rick Boogs and Shinsuke Nakamura go surfing in their latest Toyota commercial.

Sasha Banks/Naomi vs. Shayna Baszler/Natalya

Carmella and Queen Zelina are watching from ringside as Shayna takes Naomi down by the leg to start. Natalya and Shayna make a wish on Naomi’s legs and Shayna stomps on the ankle. Naomi fights up and makes the tag off to Banks, who comes in with the middle rope Meteora. Banks sends the villains outside and a sliding headscissors sends Natalya into Carmella and Vega’s general direction. Carmella offers a distraction so Zelina can fail at interference, allowing Banks to hit a basement Codebreaker for the pin on Natalya at 3:19.

Rating: C-. I cannot bring myself to care about this title match as it feels like it was thrown together first and then they are trying to make the three teams feel like they matter. They are building up Banks and Naomi after giving them the title shot, much like they are doing with Liv Morgan and Rhea Ripley. It might work if you have strong champions, but that is absolutely not the case with Zelina and Carmella. Baszler continues to be the most “just there” wrestler who could be something more, but that’s WWE for you.

Here are the Usos for a chat. They brag about their 236 day reign as Tag Team Champions, which is almost a year (not exactly) and Roman Reigns’ nearly two year reign as Universal Champion (again, not exactly). Cue Shinsuke Nakamura and Rick Boogs, the latter of whom has a taped up leg and is badly limping. The Usos laugh off the idea of these two wanting a title shot at Wrestlemania, even calling Boogs Peg Leg Pete. They can have the title shot if Boogs can beat Jey right now.

Jey Uso vs. Rick Boogs

Hold on though as Boogs takes off the leg brace and grabs Jey in a vertical suplex, where he kneels down to one knee twice before taking him down. The gorilla press (with eleven reps)….doesn’t do anything as Boogs just drops him down instead of slamming him due to Jimmy’s distraction. Boogs is right back up with the Boogs Cruise for the pin and the title shot at 1:47.

Post match Jimmy breaks the guitar over Boogs’ back to leave him laying.

Intercontinental Title: Sami Zayn vs. Ricochet

Ricochet is defending and hold on a second here as Austin Theory comes out to sit next to Pat McAfee. Before the bell, Theory gets in McAfee’s face and slaps the headset off of his head. McAfee jumps the table, with Cole shouting NOT THIS WAY and DON’T LET HIM GET TO YOU! Some security finally comes out to clear them out, with McAfee leaving commentary. Theory has to be held back and eventually leaves as we’ll have the bell after the break.

We come back with the bell ringing as Cole talks about McAfee going over the line here, because we need a Michael Cole lecture during an Intercontinental Title match. Ricochet snaps off a headscissors to take Sami down but Sami gets in a neck snap across the top rope. Back in and a sitout powerbomb gives Sami two and we hit the chinlock. Ricochet fights up and knees him down before heading up top. That takes too long though and Sami knocks him off the top for a big crash as we take a break.

Back with…actually a look at McAfee vs. Theory, which absolutely needed to be shown full screen during a title match main event. We go back to the actual match with Ricochet reversing a suplex into a hurricanrana for two. The Blue Thunder Bomb gives Sami two and he takes Ricochet up top, only to get punched back down. Sami crotches him on top though and a t-bone superplex sends Ricochet flying. Back up and the Helluva Kick is countered into the Recoil, setting up the 630 to retain the title at 12:46.

Rating: B-. Well thank goodness for that. I was scared that they were going to put the title back on Zayn for the sake of the celebrity match at Wrestlemania, so at least they did something smart for a change. Ricochet has such a track record of inconsistency so it was nice to see them actually letting him stick with it for once. Good match too, which shouldn’t be a surprise.

We cut to the back where Charlotte and Ronda Rousey are fighting next to a car. Security can’t break it up so Charlotte suplexes her onto the car. Charlotte ties up her legs and fishhooks Rousey’s mouth on the hood. One more shot to the face puts Rousey down and she tries to pull herself to her feet to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. There wasn’t much to be seen her in the way of wrestling, which left the show focused on building up stories for Wrestlemania. That makes sense on paper, but then you get to the reality of the matches they have not being very good. Between McAfee and Knoxville being featured players and Lesnar’s big contribution being chasing Heyman out of the arena, this was a show focused on a lot of midcard material. That doesn’t make for a good show and illustrates how much they are focusing on Lesnar vs. Reigns and almost nothing else. They need something else big on Smackdown, and Zayn vs. Knoxville isn’t it.

Results
Sheamus/Ridge Holland b. New Day – Brogue Kick to Kofi Kingston
Sasha Banks/Naomi b. Natalya/Shayna Baszler – Codebreaker to Natalya
Rick Boogs b. Jey Uso – Boogs Cruise
Ricochet b. Sami Zayn – 630

 

 

 

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Smackdown – February 18, 2022: Keep Them Entertained

Smackdown
Date: February 18, 2022
Location: Smoothie King Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Corey Graves, Michael Cole

We’re taped this week as the roster is in Saudi Arabia for this weekend’s Elimination Chamber. That can make for some interesting shows as the crowd might have to be brought into things a bit more. It’s also the go home show for Elimination Chamber, meaning we are probably in for a lot of hype. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Adam Pearce is in the ring for a contract signing for Charlotte/Sonya Deville vs. Ronda Rousey/Naomi. Everyone comes to the ring and Sonya says she knows how to do this. They immediately start arguing and yelling over each other, because that’s how women interact in WWE. Sonya and Charlotte both sign but Naomi threatens to turn the table over if they don’t stop stalling.

Hold on though because Sonya has a stipulation. A few days ago, Rousey said that she could beat Sonya with one arm tied behind her back, so that’s what she is going to have to do. Ronda is down with that and signs, as does Naomi, and the fight is on. Charlotte has a contract thrown at her and Sonya getting kicked in the head, sending them running off. They kept this short and that might be a good thing.

Sheamus isn’t happy with Ridge Holland losing to Ricochet and wonders if Holland is getting any of this. Tonight, Sheamus will lead by example.

Sheamus vs. Ricochet

Ridge Holland is here with Sheamus. Ricochet starts fast and strikes away before sending Sheamus outside. That means a running flip dive through the ropes but Sheamus is back with a knee choke in the corner. A suplex drops Ricochet and we hit the chinlock. Ricochet fights up and takes it to the floor, only to be fall away slammed over the announcers’ table.

We take a break and come back with Sheamus pounding away until Ricochet manages a tornado DDT. The standing shooting star press sets up a non-running Lionsault for two and Ricochet is getting frustrated. Sheamus grabs an Alabama Slam and goes up top, only to get caught with a super Spanish Fly for a close two. Holland tries a distraction but Ricochet is waiting on him, meaning Sheamus’ surprise Brogue Kick misses. The Recoil gives Ricochet the pin at 10:54.

Rating: B-. That is almost a relief to see as Ricochet gets a win without any major shenanigans. This felt like it actually meant something and that is a lot more than I would have expected. I have no reason to believe that this is Ricochet turning the corner, but at least he won a single match and that is great to see.

Post match Sheamus yells at Holland and shoves him down.

We look back at Rick Boogs “accidentally” getting electrocuted last week on InZayn.

Sami Zayn takes no responsibility for what happened to Boogs last week. Zayn talks about what has happened to him over the last year as we recap the entire conspiracy. Tonight, he makes up for it by getting the Intercontinental Title back.

The Undertaker is going into the Hall of Fame. Well that was expected.

Long Undertaker Hall of Fame video, set to Sad But True by Metallica and American Bad*** by Kid Rock. This of course features all kinds of classic clips and almost every major star talking about what a legend Undertaker is.

Long video on Roman Reigns vs. Goldberg for Reigns’ Universal Title at Elimination Chamber.

Jey Uso vs. Ivar

Jimmy Uso and Erik are here too. Ivar goes with the power to put Jey up against the ropes to start but a superkick cuts that off. The chinlock goes on but Ivar fights up without much effort. The Bronco Buster in the corner sets up a top rope splash to crush Jey, which draws in Jimmy for the DQ at 2:37.

Post match the Raiders clear the ring and get their headgear back.

We look back at Drew McIntyre telling Madcap Moss that their Elimination Chamber match will be falls count anywhere. Moss looks scared, which is usually the case when a big sword is involved.

Here is Drew McIntyre for a chat. He talks about how he used to live near New Orleans and found out that the only people who can drink with the Scots are people from around here. McIntyre has spent a lot of great time around here, but now he is getting ready to go face Madcap Moss in Saudi Arabia.

Since the match is anything goes, McIntyre can do anything from hitting him in the face, sending him into electrical equipment or drowning him in the Red Sea. McIntyre even asks fans to send him ideas on what to do to Moss because he has a 20 hour flight. Cue Moss and Happy Corbin, with Moss promising to laugh all the way home. They make fun of McIntyre’s neck but he promises to make the laughter die at Elimination Chamber. That hashtag idea is smart, as it’s always a good idea to engage the audience in some way.

Shinsuke Nakamura wants to kick Sami Zayn in the face.

Intercontinental Title: Sami Zayn vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Nakamura is defending and they take turns driving each other into the corner to start. Sami gets in a shot to the ribs but Nakamura fights back with kicks and knees. Another knee has Zayn down but the knee from the apron only hits floor to put Nakamura in trouble. We take a break and come back with Zayn grabbing a chinlock. Nakamura fights up so Zayn mocks the NAKAMURA chants and hits a clothesline for two.

Another chinlock doesn’t work either, as Nakamura gets out and hits the sliding German suplex for two of his own. Sami is right back with a Michinoku Driver (which dropped Nakamura on his head) for two more and they head outside. Nakamura kicks a diving Sami out of the air but his running knee hits the steps.

We take another break and come back again with Zayn working on the leg. Nakamura fights back but gets his leg kicked out again, setting up the Blue Thunder Bomb to give Zayn two more. Zayn pounds away in the corner and mocks Nakamura’s COME ON but the kick in the corner is blocks. That means Nakamura can kick him in the head and again against the ropes (in a callback to their classic Takeover Dallas match). Kinshasa is loaded up so Sami rolls outside to avoid being kneed in the face. Sami trips him down and rams the leg into the post, setting up a hard kick to the knee for the pin and the title at 18:12.

Rating: B. This was a long match with Zayn getting smart by taking away Nakamura’s greatest weapon. That made for a good story throughout as Nakamura couldn’t strike away at Zayn, who hung in there long enough to beat him. They had to change the title here as Nakamura had held the thing for six months without doing much of anything with it. Zayn has his conspiracy theory deal and this is as good of a payoff as there was for the whole thing.

Booker T. met with some children at a community center in Dallas as part of Black History Month.

Aliyah is very proud of Ricochet for being Sheamus. Ricochet is so excited by his win that he almost sounds like a human being. With Ricochet gone, Sami Zayn comes in to brag about his own big win.

Video on the men’s Elimination Chamber match.

Here are Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman for the big final showdown with Goldberg. Reigns tells New Orleans to acknowledge him and tells Heyman to celebrate him. Heyman says this is the best part of his day because standing next to greatness is spiritually orgasmic. He talks about how you might not have gotten to see some greatness in person, including Drew Brees….who meant nothing because he played for the New Orleans Saints.

That means a WHO DAT (Saints chant) chant, which doesn’t please Heyman that much. Heyman: “The eleventh commandment on the Island of Relevancy: thou shalt not interrupt the Wise Man’s promo.” Heyman promises Reigns will keep the title tomorrow but here is Goldberg to interrupt. Goldberg picks up a mic and then drops it, leaving Reigns to say he was going to give Goldberg one last chance to acknowledge him. That doesn’t seem likely as Goldberg gets in Reigns’ face and says Reigns isn’t next. When it comes to the Universal Title, Goldberg is next. Staring ends the show. Whatever gets Goldberg out of here the fastest.

Overall Rating: C+. You had two matches of note and both of them were quite good, but the st of the show was lacking to say the least. Now in this case, that is a lot more acceptable for two reasons. Not only was this the go home show with the final push towards Elimination Chamber, but it was also the second two hour show in front of this same crowd. What we got was good, but you could tell they were clipping a lot of corners to keep the crowd from getting totally burned out.

Results
Ricochet b. Sheamus – Recoil
Ivar b. Jey Uso via DQ when Jimmy Uso interfered
Sami Zayn b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Kick to the knee

 

 

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Smackdown – December 3, 2021: Why Should He Be Afraid?

Smackdown
Date: December 3, 2021
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

In something you probably don’t remember hearing around here, it’s the Brock Lesnar Show as he is back after his suspension last month. Odds are this is going to set something up for either Day 1 or the Rumble and that opens up a few questions. I’m curious to see where this is going so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Sami Zayn becoming #1 contender last week but Brock Lesnar’s return was announced for the show immediately thereafter.

Here is Brock Lesnar to get things going. Lesnar says he is here for the Universal Title but cue Sami Zayn to interrupt. Sami talks about how he’s a fan of Lesnar and is cut off almost immediately. Lesnar: “I’m sorry, you’re a fan?” Lesnar talks about living in Saskatchewan, where he hunts, kills and eats things. Now why hasn’t he ripped Sami’s head off yet? Sami explains the battle royal win….and Lesnar starts laughing.

Sami says it might be funny and Lesnar wants to see the title match tonight. Lesnar: “Sami right? Tonight! Sami Zayn vs. Roman Reigns!” Sami says he didn’t want to do it in Texas and he has a bad hip but Brock doesn’t want to hear this. Brock backs the babbling Sami up against the ropes and twists his arm until Sami agrees to the match. Lesnar will be there too! Crazy scary Lesnar who isn’t worried about anyone is great.

Post break, Sami is with Sonya Deville and tries to talk his way out of the Roman Reigns match. Brock comes up and Sami changes his tune, with Sonya making the match. Lesnar even gets to face the winner at Day 1!

Video on Shayna Baszler, including the stomp to mess up Nia Jax’s arm. After the video, McAfee refers to this as the Future Endeavors Kick.

Sasha Banks vs. Shayna Baszler

Baszler is sent outside to start, where she counters a baseball slide into an ankle lock. Banks breaks that up and hits the Meteora off the apron for two as we take a break. Back with Baszler hitting a running knee in the corner, setting up a gutwrench suplex for two. Banks fights up and hits a springboard tornado DDT for two of her own. Baszler pulls her down into the Kirifuda Clutch but Banks flips out and grabs the Bank Statement. That’s broken up as well so Baszler hits a running knee, only to get caught in a hurricanrana for the pin at 8:49.

Rating: C. You knew it was happening as soon as the Baszler video aired. I’m not sure what the point of this one was other than getting Sasha a win, though there is no reason to get annoyed at WWE for having Baszler lose again. Baszler has long since reached the point of “it’s not going to happen” so this is about all you could have expected.

Adam Pearce calls Sonya Deville and says he isn’t going to show up because it would be better if he just remembers the Alamo. Deville: “Oh come on.” Drew McIntyre comes in and doesn’t like that it was Adam Pearce’s decision for him to not be in the battle royal last week.

It’s time for Happy Talk, with Happy Corbin in shorts to show off his rather tattooed legs. Corbin and Madcap Moss talk about last week’s battle royal, including Moss eliminating a bunch of people until Corbin tossed him out as well. Jeff Hardy did some stupid things and Drew McIntyre didn’t even get in the match. Cue McIntyre, with Angela the sword, allowing Hardy to jump Corbin from behind. Hardy and McIntyre steal their hats.

Xia Li debuts next week so we get another comic book video. This one talks about her walking through a quiet street until she has to beat up some muggers.

Viking Raiders vs. Los Lotharios

Erik plants Angel in a hurry and them knocks Humberto off the apron. Ivar gets knocked off the apron though and it’s a Muta Lock to Erick….and we pause for a good while until Rick Boogs can show up on the announcers’ table. This time though, Humberto is fine enough to roll Erik up for the pin at 1:41 anyway. Ok points for a surprise twist.

Post match the Vikings are mad at Boogs and Shinsuke Nakamura but the power of rock calms things down.

We look at Toni Storm getting pied into fear by Charlotte last week.

Storm says she wants a title shot and doesn’t care how much Charlotte embarrasses her. All she wants is the title.

Jey Uso vs. King Woods

Before the match, the Usos call out Sami Zayn and Brock Lesnar for wanting to face Roman Reigns at Day 1. Woods cuts them off and brings out the returning Kofi Kingston to have his back. Jey hammers him in the corner to start but misses a running hip attack. Back up and Woods kicks him in the face but Jimmy interferes for the DQ at 2:02.

Post match Kofi helps Woods clear the ring.

Roman Reigns isn’t happy with everything happening tonight without his knowledge. Paul Heyman insists he didn’t know any of this would be happening, but Reigns promises to smash Sami Zayn and Brock Lesnar.

The New Day, with Aliyah for a bit for her latest random cameo, is ready to win the Tag Team Titles from the Usos at Day 1.

Here is Charlotte to respond to Toni Storm’s challenges. The point is that #1 doesn’t acknowledge #2, but she’ll get to the point: no. Charlotte leaves and Storm is waiting on her with a pie.

Video on Ricochet.

Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Sheamus sends him straight to the apron for the ten forearms to the chest and an early near fall. The double fish hook stretches Cesaro’s face but he fights up and knocks Sheamus over the barricade. Back in and Sheamus drives some knees to the head while shouting about how much better Ridge Holland is than Cesaro. That starts a comeback….and it’s cut off by the Brogue Kick to give Sheamus the pin at 3:47.

Rating: C. Can they please just release Cesaro already? They aren’t going to push him, they aren’t going to give him anything to do and they don’t see much in him. If they’re that sure he isn’t a star, why keep him on the payroll? I know the answer to most of these questions is AEW, but egads it’s frustrating to watch something like this after his token pay per view main event earlier this year.

Naomi challenges Sonya Deville again and Sonya accepts. The catch is Naomi can’t touch her until they’re in the ring, so Sonya hits her in the face and doesn’t give her a date for the match.

Universal Title: Roman Reigns vs. Sami Zayn

Sami is challenging but first he needs to rant about no one having his back for years. Cue Brock Lesnar so Sami keeps talking about how he’s going to win the title. Brock snaps off the German suplexes into the F5 and Sami is left laying. Another F5 makes it even worse and Lesnar puts Sami in the corner, despite him being out on his feet. Lesnar leaves and post break, Reigns comes out for the match. The Usos are here with Reigns and pull Sami back up so the bell can ring. Spear and guillotine retain the title at 16 seconds to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t exactly feeling this one as it was much more about setting things up for Day 1 rather than anything of note here. It wasn’t terrible or even that bad, but it’s a show where you would have been better off reading a recap than watching the show. At least they accomplished something, but don’t waste your time with anything on this show, save for maybe Lesnar having fun getting a fat check.

Results
Sasha Banks b. Shayna Baszler – Hurricanrana
Los Lotharios b. Viking Raiders – Rollup to Erik
King Woods b. Jey Uso via DQ when Jimmy Uso interfered
Sheamus b. Cesaro – Brogue Kick
Roman Reigns b. Sami Zayn – Guillotine

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown – August 20, 2021: The Rehearsal

Smackdown
Date: August 20, 2021
Location: Footprint Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Michael Cole

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and for once, the show is actually tomorrow night. I wouldn’t expect much in the way of wrestling tonight, but the talking should be more than enough to make something interesting. John Cena and Roman Reigns are here and that should be about all you need. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Edge to get things going. After a video on Edge vs. Seth Rollins, Edge is sitting in a chair to talk about how Rolling teased stomping him back in 2014. Edge knows that the stomp could end his career and his way of life. It’s true that Rollins is an all time talent, but Rollins has driven him to a place where his blood runs black. Edge can see clearly on this day, and he knows that he has to break and humble Rollins. At Summerslam, Edge is going to burn him down. This is where Edge shines and I bought what he was saying.

Dominik Mysterio is all fired up but Rey Mysterio wants him to calm down and stay focused. That’s cool with Dominik.

Jey Uso vs. Rey Mysterio

Jimmy Uso and Dominik Mysterio are at ringside. Feeling out process to start until Rey gets him into the corner for some right hands to the face. Jey comes back with an uppercut to drop Rey and the chinlock goes on. Rey fights up and hammers away with a long string of right hands to put Jey on the floor. The dive takes both Usos out and we take a break.

Back with Jey hitting a Samoan drop for two as the pace slows down. Rey manages a quick hurricanrana for two and the springboard crossbody connects for the same. Jey drives him hard into the corner though and a pop up neckbreaker gets two more. Back up and Jey tries a powerslam but gets reversed into a tornado DDT. Rey tries a sunset flip but Jey grabs the rope, meaning Dominik tries to cheat like last week. This time he’s caught for an ejection so Jey gets in a cheap shot. The Superfly Splash finishes Rey at 11:27.

Rating: C. The “a member of one team fights a member of the other team, swap and repeat next week” is one of my least favorite booking tropes as it has been done to death. The fact that there are no other teams for these four to face to set up Summerslam is rather telling, but it would be nice to have anything else. It was a good enough match, but come up with something fresh.

We look back at Baron Corbin stealing Big E.’s Money in the Bank briefcase last week.

Kevin Owens vs. Baron Corbin

Corbin still has the briefcase. It’s a brawl to start with Owens punching him down and hitting the quick backsplash. That’s too much being down for Corbin, who pops up with a right hand and the slide under the ropes clothesline. Owens is right back by superkicking him to the floor for the Swanton off the apron but Corbin snaps his throat across the top. The chokeslam and Stunner are both countered and here is Big E. go to after the contract. First he goes after Corbin though and that’s a DQ at 4:09.

Rating: C. The Big E. interference makes sense here as it would be the logical thing for him to do. Corbin is still doing everything well and I’m curious to see where he goes from here. Owens is kind of floating around though, which has been the case for him since the feud with Sami Zayn ended. This was little more than a way to advance Corbin stealing the case though and it worked as such.

Post match, Corbin gets away with the briefcase again.

Bianca Belair looks at a clip of last week’s beatdown and is ready to beat up Carmella and Zelina Vega tonight. Sasha Banks is next.

Nox/Shotzi vs. Natalya/Tamina

It’s another Champion’s Contenders match because beating the champs twice in a row doesn’t mean a thing without it being a designated match. Tamina knocks Shotzi into the corner to start and it’s off to Natalya to hammer away. A hair takedown into a suplex gives Natalya two and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up and everything breaks down with Nox diving onto Tamina. Natalya tries the Sharpshooter but Shotzi reverses into a small package for the pin at 2:59. To recap: we are probably looking at a fourth match between these teams. How much more proof do you need that this company is creatively bankrupt?

Here is Seth Rollins, in a white suit and tie, to respond to Edge. Rollins mocks what Edge said earlier and wants Edge to listen to him: there is no shame in being a family man and there is no shame in not being able to find the darkness that once guided you. Without that darkness, Edge cannot get on Rollins’ level. The lights go out…..and the BROOD theme song starts playing (though it never goes beyond the intro and into the good stuff). Edge pops up on screen to say Rollins will never see it coming, followed by black goo falling from the ceiling to cover Rollins’ suit. The lack of most of the Brood music holds it back.

Summerslam rundown.

Otis vs. Montez Ford

Remember when we did this two matches again??? Ford is in new gear here and looks more like a boxer. A shot to the face gets on Otis’ nerves so he knocks Ford HARD to the floor to take over. Back in and Ford gets in another quick right hand and a high crossbody gets two. Otis blasts him with another clothesline and the Vader Bomb finishes Ford at 2:47.

Apollo Crews/Commander Azeez vs. Rick Boogs/King Nakamura

This is Boogs’ in-ring debut. Boogs takes Crews down to start and uses his leg as a guitar. Back up and Boogs gets sent shoulder first into the post to give Crews two. It’s off to Azeez (who jumps over the top) and Nakamura, who kicks him in the face. A side slam drops Nakamura though and it’s back to Crews. That’s a kick to Crews’ head and it’s Boogs coming back in for pumphandle slam and the pin at 3:42.

Rating: C-. This was certainly a thing that happened and Azeez would make for an interesting first challenger for Nakamura. I’d say it’s pretty clear that the Crews deal is done for the moment as he’s losing to Nakamura’s guitar guy, so at least we’re on to something fresh. The monster getting the upper hand is nothing new so let’s see what he can do here.

Bianca Belair vs. Zelina Vega

Non-title and Carmella is at ringside. Belair runs through her to start but a quick backslide gives Vega two. You don’t do that as Belair muscles her up and then drops her, setting up the KOD for the pin at 1:26.

Post match Carmella superkicks Belair, setting up their scheduled match.

Bianca Belair vs. Carmella

Non-title. Carmella goes after the downed Belair and talks a lot of trash. The abdominal stretch goes on….until Belair powers her way out and muscles her up into the delayed vertical suplex (geez) for two. The standing moonsault gets two more and it’s a spinebuster into the KOD to finish Carmella at 3:55.

Rating: D+. This was Belair being in a bit of trouble, shrugging it off and running through Carmella like she wasn’t even there. That’s why you have lackeys and the match went fine with both of them offering Belair next to no challenge. I’m not sure where Banks was, but hopefully she is cleared after missing last weekend’s shows.

Here are John Cena and Roman Reigns, with Paul Heyman, for the big ending. The place goes coconuts for Cena and Reigns says he knows the fans care. Reigns: “Go ahead, pop.” Reigns can’t believe that Cena believes he can beat him 1-2-3. Heyman says that no one has ever beaten this version of Reigns and Reigns says Cena isn’t doing it either. Cena isn’t letting it go this way and grabs the mic, saying that a month ago, everyone said Cena is going to make a movie after Reigns beats him.

The movie is real but Cena losing isn’t. It’s the Summer of Cena and he is here to demote Reigns. Everyone wants Cena to acknowledge him but it’s been the same for twenty years: Never Give Up. All it takes is Reigns to make a mistake and it’s 1-2-3. If Reigns isn’t perfect it’s 1-2-3 and that means #17 for Cena. Tomorrow the impossible becomes possible thanks to Roman Reigns and all it takes is 1-2-3.

Reigns thinks Cena doesn’t get it because he should have smartened himself up. When people get in the ring with Reigns, he smashes them so hard that they can’t do it again. Reigns can go to Hollywood and do the whole nine out there. It’s getting a bit too emotional for Reigns though and says we should raise the stakes: either Reigns leaves the stadium as Universal Champion or he’s leaving WWE. The handshake….allows Reigns to lift him up for an AA but Cena reverses into a rollup for the 1-2-3 to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a letdown, but it was an understandable letdown. You’re only going to be able to do so much with the bigger names with 24 hours to go before one of the biggest shows of the year. That left us with a bunch of quick matches to serve as commercials for tomorrow, plus low level tag stuff. Not terrible, but it was a pretty skippable two hours.

Results
Jey Uso b. Rey Mysterio – Superfly Splash
Baron Corbin b. Kevin Owens via DQ when Big E. interfered
Nox/Shotzi b. Natalya/Tamina – Small package to Natalya
Otis b. Montez Ford – Vader Bomb
Rick Boogs/Shinsuke Nakamura b. Apollo Crews/Commander Azeez – Pumphandle slam to Crews
Bianca Belair b. Zelina Vega – KOD
Bianca Belair b. Carmella – KOD

 

 

 

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Smackdown – August 6, 2021: Roman Reigns Is Interested

Smackdown
Date: August 6, 2021
Location: Amale Arena, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

With just over two weeks to go before Summerslam, things are starting to come together. The big story last week was the return of Sasha Banks, who teamed with and then attacked Bianca Belair in the span of about an hour. There are still a lot of things to cover for the pay per view and odds are we’ll get some of that this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Sasha Banks to get things going. She talks about how she attacked Bianca Belair last week and we see a video about the return and beatdown. Banks says that Belair wouldn’t exist without her because she is the best of all time. Cue Belair to say Banks is one of the greatest every but she isn’t the reason Belair if here. If Banks wants the title at Summerslam, come get it. Cue Zelina Vega with a challenge of her own, meaning Banks can mock Belair a bit from the announcers’ table. That’s fine with Belair, who will fight Vega tonight and Banks at Summerslam.

Rey Mysterio tells Dominik Mysterio to keep calm with the aggression because they have their title shot. Dominik is cool with that.

Jey Uso vs. Dominik Mysterio

The other Uso and Mysterio are here too. Dominik slugs away in the corner to start and adds a dropkick. The springboard wristdrag takes Jey down but he’s back up to hit Dominik in the face. Dominik gets knocked outside but manages to jump back in for a dropkick through the ropes. The sliding sunset bomb sends Jey into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Dominik fighting back, including a dropkick to send him face first into the corner. The 619 connects and Rey takes out Jimmy, only to have Jey come back with the superkick. The Superfly Splash finishes Dominik off at 8:29.

Rating: C-. Nothing much to this one but the Usos taking the Mysterios down again isn’t that much of a stretch. They have their upcoming match at Summerslam but I don’t know if there is much doubt about who is leaving with the titles. It’s kind of nice to have them not build up false drama and it’s fun to see Dominik get kicked in the face.

We recap Seth Rollins attacking Edge last week because Edge got the Universal Title shot.

Edge is asked about what Rollins did last week. Edge: “Seth Rollins. What a rotten selfish b******.” He’s ready to meet Rollins tonight to show what a rotten selfish b****** he can be.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Apollo Crews

Non-title with Rick Boogs and Commander Azeez at ringside. Crews shoulders him down to start so Nakamura kicks him in the face. A jumping knee gives Nakamura two so Crews slams him for the same. That doesn’t do much to Nakamura, who hits a running knee to the ribs in the corner for two. Something like a GTS sets up another kick to Crews’ head but Azeez breaks up the cover for the DQ at 2:10.

Nakamura kicks Azeez to the floor.

Long recap of last week’s Finn Balor/Roman Reigns contract signing, with Baron Corbin trying to steal the title shot but getting taken out by John Cena….who stole the contract instead, because that’s how contracts work.

Paul Heyman (Heyman: “WHAT??? WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT DO YOU WANT???”) is asked about the contract signing last week. He talks about how John Cena is living off of Roman Reigns’ fame and asks what would happen if he jumped Tom Brady and signed his Tampa Bay “Schmucaneers” contract. That wouldn’t get Heyman $75 million because that’s not how contracts work. Heyman isn’t in the mood to talk about this but here’s a very laughing Big E. with the Money in the Bank briefcase. Heyman leaves, looking rather concerned.

Nox vs. Tamina

Tamina has both Tag Team Title belts here and Shotzi is in Nox’s corner. Nox hammers away in the corner to start but Tamina knocks her straight back down. The Samoan drop is loaded up but Shotzi fires the tank for a distraction, allowing Nox to grab a rollup pin at 1:43.

Zelina Vega is told that her Women’s Title match has been downgraded to a Contender’s Match so she can earn the title shot. That’s fine with Vega because she knows she can beat both Bianca Belair and Sasha Banks.

Here is Edge for a chat. Edge is glad that Seth Rollins isn’t here because he doesn’t want to get arrested. To be fair though, Edge probably would have hit him in the face with a camera just like Rollins did because they’re very similar. Edge will show him that when he gets the chance and this will be finished. Rollins pops up on screen to say that they are alike and everyone should have a Plan B. Edge has a Plan B and throws out the Summerslam challenge. That gets a laugh from Rollins, who wants to know what happens when he stomps on a neck that has been fixed three times.

How can Edge take care of his family when that happens? Edge freaks out over that, calling Rollins a cross between Russell Brand, a televangelist and Colonel Sanders (Rollins: “Hallelujah!”). Edge talks about how Rollins should have finished the job in 2014 (they might want to show that a time or two if they are going to keep referencing it). Rollins wants to follow in his footsteps but can’t fill Edge’s boots. That’s too far for Rollins, who accepts the challenge. They were going to get there somehow and this worked as well as anything else.

A ticked off Finn Balor isn’t happy with Baron Corbin costing him a Summerslam Universal Title shot. Corbin can be dealt with tonight, but then Balor has a bone to pick with John Cena.

Street Profits vs. Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler

Montez Ford snapmares Roode down to start but has to bail out of a standing moonsault. The standing dropkick has Roode in trouble but Ford goes after Ziggler, allowing Roode to snap off a spinebuster. Ziggler comes in with a running kick to the face into Roode’s Russian legsweep for two on Ford. A shot to the face lets Ford get over for the tag to Angelo Dawkins but Ziggler Fameassers him down for two. Dawkins is right back with the Anointment though and the Cash Out finishes for Ford at 3:40.

Rating: C. Just a welcome back match for the Street Profits and that was fine. It isn’t like Roode and Ziggler are going to be hurt by a loss so letting the Street Profits get some momentum back makes sense. The Street Profits vs. the Usos would be fine for a fall title program and getting the team reheated is a good way to start.

Bianca Belair vs. Zelina Vega

Non-title. Belair goes right after her to start but gets rolled up for a fast two. Vega gets sent to the apron but grabs Belair by the hair to take over. That doesn’t seem to bother Belair, who gorilla presses Vega but here is Sasha Banks for a distraction. Vega slips out and takes Belair down as we take a break.

Back with Belair fighting out of a chinlock but Vega sends her hard into the corner. The choke goes on so Belair drives her into the corner as well for a break. Belair suplexes her down but a delayed suplex is countered into a DDT. With Belair on the floor, Vega tries a hurricanrana from the apron, only to get pulled out of the air and swung into the apron. Back in and the KOD finishes Vega at 9:50.

Rating: C. Vega got in some offense here but ultimately this was never going to be in a ton of doubt. I’m curious to see how Banks vs. Belair goes and that is the right kind of feeling as we come into a match like this. If they can live up to the hype, things are going to go rather well. Vega worked hard here but was in over her head. The problem is I’m not sure how that can change, but a lot of the skill is there.

Roman Reigns says he is interested in Finn Balor vs. Baron Corbin.

Finn Balor vs. Baron Corbin

Corbin has lost his music but hold on though as he has something to say. He offers Balor an apology for last week but gets punched in the face as Balor DOES NOT accept. Corbin knocks him into the corner and punches at the ribs but gets taken down again in a hurry. There’s the Sling Blade to drop Corbin and the shotgun dropkick puts him into the corner. The Coup de Grace gives Balor the pin at 2:46.

Post match Balor says he wants the Universal Title match with Roman Reigns and if he has to go through John Cena to get there, name the place and the time. Cue Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman to interrupt though and, after a break, they get in the ring for a chat. Reigns talks about how he was trying to give Balor an opportunity, so keep the Head of the Table’s name out of your mouth.

Reigns drops the mic and goes to leave but gets shoved out to the floor. The fight is teased (with the fans chanting for Cena) but here are the Usos to jump Balor from behind. The Superfly Splash misses though and Balor fights back, drawing Reigns back in for the brawl. Balor takes Reigns down but the Usos lay him out. Reigns guillotines Balor for the tap to end the show. Odds are Balor, perhaps as the Demon, is the fall challenger and there is time to rehab him on the way there.

Overall Rating: B-. All in all, this was a solid show with matches being made for Summerslam, good talking and nothing bad. That last part is what often sets Smackdown apart, as they are a pretty steady two hours most weeks. That’s a pretty good place to be and it makes Friday such an easy night of wrestling. It’s not a great show, but it was good enough and I’ll certainly take it at this point.

Results
Jey Uso b. Dominik Mysterio – Superfly Splash
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Apollo Crews via DQ when Commander Azeez interfered
Nox b. Tamina – Rollup
Street Profits b. Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler – Cash Out to Ziggler
Bianca Belair b. Zelina Vega – KOD
Finn Balor b. Baron Corbin – Coup de Grace

 

 

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Smackdown – July 30, 2021: It’s Moving Day

Smackdown
Date: July 30, 2021
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We’re less than a month away from Summerslam and things have been getting interesting around here again. Last week, John Cena challenged Roman Reigns for Summerslam. That was a no, but Finn Balor issued his own challenge and got a yes. There is no word on when that takes place, but it should be pretty soon. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is John Cena to get things going. We look at a recap of last week with Reigns, Cena and Balor, complete with Reigns’ missionary position line. Cena: “If you can find someone who can keep missionary position interesting for two decades, keep them in your life. It’s going to be worth it, I promise.” Cena talks about how he isn’t going to change anything and it wouldn’t make sense. Steve Austin wouldn’t come back as Sasquatch Steve Houston, or the Rock wouldn’t come back as Too Small Johnson.

Cena: “Roman Reigns has to change every two years because if he doesn’t, people stop caring about him.” Reigns is a guy named Joe, who gets by on every gimmick and is too scared to fail. He refused to fight Cena because of how Cena looks, but it’s really because of how Cena makes him look.

Cue Baron Corbin, but Cena doesn’t even recognize him. Cena: “DUDE! YOU LOOK….” Corbin: “Horrible, I know.” Corbin talks about everything that has gone wrong with him, and now he has had his identity stolen. On top of that, he has suffered an injury to a personal area and can’t perform. His wife took the kids and left, but maybe Cena can help him.

Cena asks the fans if he should help him, and Cena hands him some cash. Corbin: “THAT’S IT???” Corbin asks for a part in the Suicide Squad, but Cena says it’s already wrapped. Cena: “It come out next Friday. Make sure you go see it!” Corbin begs some more so Cena gives him the AA. Cena was feeling it here with the mixture of comedy and bombs on Reigns. The Corbin stuff is still great too, though how much more can happen to him?

We look at the Usos taking the Tag Team Titles from the Mysterios.

Dominik Mysterio tells Rey Mysterio he’ll have his back tonight. Rey says keep an eye on him and another eye on the Usos. They have to step it up to get the titles back.

Rey Mysterio vs. Jimmy Uso

Dominik and Jey Uso are here too. Rey sends him into the corner to start and hammers away, setting up the bulldog for two. Jimmy is sent outside but avoids the dive, setting up the superkick to drop Rey. We take a break and come back with Rey kicking Jimmy in the head for a breather. Rey gets sent to the apron and an enziguri drops him again. Back up and Jimmy is sent outside, setting up the slingshot corkscrew dive to take out both Usos. Rey tries the 619 but Jimmy catches him in the fireman’s carry. That’s reversed into a crucifix, with Dominik adding the assist for the pin at 7:58.

Rating: C-. Quick match here to get the Mysterios some momentum to get them ready for their next title match. It makes sense to have Dominik do something like that at the end too, as you can only have him doing the same stuff for so long. It wasn’t a great match or even close to one, but it did what it was supposed to do.

We look back at Bianca Belair retaining the Women’s Title over Carmella at the Rolling Loud festival last week. Even McAfee has to acknowledge how the fans didn’t care.

Here is Bianca Belair for a chat. She is so proud of her 111 day Women’s Title reign and now she is happy to be back in front of these people. Belair can’t wait to see what the next 100 days have….and here is Carmella to cut her off. Carmella thinks she should get another shot because the lighting at Rolling Loud was messing her up.

Cue Zelina Vega to say Carmella is too pretty to be a three time loser. Vega gets in Belair’s face to say the people want to see a rising star get a chance. Belair accepts the challenge but Carmella jumps her from behind. Cue the returning Sasha Banks (not for the first time since Wrestlemania McAfee) for the save and a big hug to Belair. That’s probably Summerslam.

Video on Reginald winning the 24/7 Title.

Reginald talks about doing whatever he needs to do to retain the title. He has been looking everywhere for someone coming after him, even getting a camera on his shopping cart. The title is on the line tonight and while he doesn’t know who is challenging him, they should expect the unexpected.

24/7 Title: Reginald vs. Chad Gable

Gable, with Otis, is challenging and Otis jumps Reginald before the bell. A bridging northern lights suplex gets two on Reginald but he bounces around to avoid the chops. Instead, Gable tiger suplexes him for two but Reginald flips out of a German superplex. Gable is set into the corner to set up the running flipping seated senton, drawing Otis in for the DQ at 1:38.

Post match Reginald is thrown outside but sticks the landing to escape.

Sonya Deville announces Carmella/Zelina Vega vs. Sasha Banks/Bianca Belair for tonight.

It’s time for the contract signing between Roman Reigns and Finn Balor for Summerslam. Sonya Deville and Adam Pearce are in charge, with Pearce saying he knows the fighting is coming. Balor and Reigns, with Heyman, come out, with Reigns insisting on sitting at the head of the table. Pearce asks Reigns to sign, but Reign gets cut off by the CENA chants. Reigns: “We’ve already seen Mr. Missionary tonight.” Reigns asks if Balor heard Cena’s opening promo tonight, because Reigns thought it was Cena saying he was better than Balor. Cena has to use old material while Balor is fresh and new.

Reigns signs, but promises to send Balor back to NXT. Balor says he can’t wait to go back to NXT as Universal Champion again. Balor goes to sign but here is Baron Corbin to jump him from behind. The beating is on and Balor is left laying. Corbin grabs the contract but here is Cena to take Corbin out before he can sign. Cena signs the contract with a blue Sharpie (McAfee: “THAT SIGNATURE IS AWESOME!”). Cole and McAfee question the legality of signing a contract like this as Reigns seethes.

Post break, Paul Heyman asks what Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville are going to do about Summerslam because that contract situation doesn’t work. They look at the contract, which says Summerslam and has Reigns and Cena’s signatures. That’s good enough for them, so the match is on.

Big E./Shinsuke Nakamura/Cesaro vs. Apollo Crews/Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode

Commander Azeez is here with the villains. Rick Boogs handles the intro and McAfee dances as usual. Crews sends Big E. outside in a hurry and it’s a spinebuster/Zig Zag combination to send us to an early break. Back with Big E. getting over for the hot tag to Cesaro, who Swings Ziggler in a hurry. The Sharpshooter is broken up so Nakamura comes in to kick Ziggler down for two.

Kinshasa is countered with a Sling Blade but Ziggler can’t cover. He can however bring in Crews for a standing moonsault to Nakamura. Everything breaks down and we hit the parade of secondary finishers. Azeez tries to interfere but Boogs distracts him with the guitar. The distraction is enough for Nakamura to Kinshasa Crwes for the pin at 6:45.

Rating: C. This was a bunch of people not getting a ton of time, but it probably sets up (at least one of) Crews’ next challenger for the title. A big multiman match of some sort wouldn’t surprise me, and at least in this case they have set part of it up. At least they got to the point here without wasting a lot of time, so this could have been a lot worse.

We look at Edge brawling with Seth Rollins last week.

Here is Edge for a chat….but it’s Rollins in the ring when we come back from a break. Rollins attacked Edge during the break, including a camera shot to the face. Rollins rants about how he had to do that and throws us to a video on his history with Edge. He should be the Universal Champion, but if he can’t be, neither can Edge.

We recap the contract signing.

Next week: Finn Balor vs. Baron Corbin.

Sasha Banks/Bianca Belair vs. Carmella/Zelina Vega

Belair and Carmella start fast by running Carmella over. Carmella gets in a few shots on Banks in the corner as everything breaks down. They all head outside with Belair gorilla pressing Banks, climbing onto the steps, and then throwing her onto the other two. We take a break and come back with Belair fighting out of a full nelson but getting slammed down anyway.

Carmella stomps away in the corner and Vega cuts off another hot tag attempt. Vega’s Black Widow is broken up in a hurry and the hot tag brings in Banks. House is cleaned, including Three Amigos to Vega. The frog splash gets two with Carmella making the save. Carmella’s X Factor is countered into the Bank Statement for the tap at 8:42.

Rating: C. Just a quick match to get Banks back in the ring with a win. I’m not sure I buy the idea that Banks is going to be Belair’s new best friend, but that is one of the two default stories for women in WWE these days. Hopefully this gets rid of Carmella from the title picture for the time being, as that has been done for a while now.

Belair and Banks celebrate after the match….until Banks jumps her. The beating is on and the Bank Statement makes Belair tap. Banks picks up the title and then puts the Bank Statement on again to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was ok for the most part but the angles were what mattered here. You have Cena vs. Reigns made official, Edge vs. Rollins all but official, and Banks returning to set up her rematch. This was the heavy lifting show that Summerslam has been needing and now we should have most of the Smackdown half set. The matches look good too, so hopefully they can live up to the hype.

Results
Rey Mysterio b. Jimmy Uso – Crucifix with assist from Dominik Mysterio
Reginald b. Chad Gable via DQ when Otis interfered
Big E./Shinsuke Nakamura/Cesaro b. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode/Apollo Crews – Kinshasa to Crews
Sasha Banks/Bianca Belair b. Carmella/Zelina Vega – Bank Statement to Carmella

 

 

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Smackdown – June 11, 2021: Him Yes, The Rest, No

Smackdown
Date: June 11, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Michael Cole

We are on the way to Hell in a Cell and odds are we have the main event set on the blue side. It looks like we are going to be seeing Rey Mysterio get the Universal Title shot against Roman Reigns, assuming they don’t go nuts and give it to Dominik. Normally I would say there is no way, but have you been watching WWE lately? Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the Usos failing to win the Tag Team Titles and Roman Reigns destroying the Mysterios to let off some steam.

Reigns is in the back with Jey Uso, saying the Usos owe him an apology. Reigns knows Jey is with him, but we have to see about Jimmy.

Here’s Jimmy Uso for a chat. Jimmy recaps last week and wants to know why Reigns cost them their second title shot. Maybe Reigns is jealous, because the Usos could be the champs and have some gold of their own. Jey isn’t Reigns’ brother and Jimmy is his brother’s keeper. Tonight, he’s doing something about it.

In the back, Reigns isn’t happy. Reigns to Jey: “He’s not my brother. He doesn’t look just like me. He’s not my twin. Ain’t no one going to confuse me for him.” Jey goes to take care of things.

Post break, Jimmy talks to Jey and asks if he thinks they could have won last week. Jey reluctantly says he thinks they could have been the champs, sending Jimmy into a rant about how this can’t keep happening. They’re twins and Reigns is the one disgracing the family. Jey says his loyalty is with Reigns because Jimmy was out for a year. Now Jey is stuck in the middle with no way out.

Kevin Owens/Big E. vs. Apollo Crews/Sami Zayn

Commander Azeez is here with the villains. Owens and Crews start but Owens would rather throw Zayn into the barricade. A backsplash crushes Crews but he knocks Owens down into the corner. The beating doesn’t last long and it’s off to Big E. to clean house. The Warrior Splash hits knees but Crews charges into the Rock Bottom out of the corner for two. Everything breaks down and Big E. is dropped on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Crews cutting off the tag attempt and bringing Sami back in but a high crossbody misses. That’s enough for the hot tag to Owens so house really can be cleaned. A Cannonball sets up the Swanton for two but Sami jumps over Owens to get over for the hot tag. Crews comes in but walks into the Pop Up Powerbomb from Owens.

Sami dives in with a kick to the face for the save before getting brought back in. Everything breaks down and the Blue Thunder Bomb gets two on Owens. Big E. Cactus Clotheslines Crews to the floor (and lands on him for a scary shot), leaving Owens to Stun Zayn for the pin at 12:50.

Rating: C. Totally fine way to combine a few stories at once while keeping Crews safe. They could go in a few directions for the next title match as Crews is becoming an interesting champion. I’m curious to see where this goes and that is not something I’ve been able to say about the title for a good while now.

Post match Crews says hang on a second and blames Zayn for the loss. How about we do this again next week but with Commander Azeez instead of Zayn? That sounds cool with Owens and Big E., but Zayn gets up to complain. The conspiracy is strong, so Zayn get Nigerian Nailed down.

Chad Gable comes up to the Street Profits in the back and blames himself for Otis taking them out last week. Instead, Gable can face one of them at once, with Angelo Dawkins saying he has this. Actually hang on as Montez Ford says he’s got this instead, with Gable being cool with the move. Otis and Dawkins will both stay out of ringside.

Jey Uso comes in to see Roman Reigns, who isn’t happy with Jimmy Uso not being here. Jimmy has said if Reigns wants to see him, come to the Usos’ locker room. Reigns starts chuckling and asks if he means Reigns’ cousins’ locker room. He’ll go see Jimmy…and things get a bit more serious. Reigns walks off saying “my locker room” and chuckling some more. See? He’s happy!

Carmella vs. Liv Morgan

Rematch from last week where Liv lost after getting a pre-match promo and new catchphrase. Liv, in caution tape gear, jumps Carmella to start and stomps her down in the corner. A missed charge only hits the ropes though and Carmella takes her outside to send her into the barricade.

Hold on though as Carmella yells at the commentators to talk about how beautiful she is. After the cameraman falls down while filming the exchange, Carmella takes her back inside for an elbow to the face. That means some more posing until Liv gets in a few shots. A missed charge lets Carmella slap her in the face a few times, but a superkick is blocked. Liv is back with Oblivion for the pin at 2:59.

Post match Carmella insists on being announced as still the most beautiful woman in WWE.

It’s time for Ding Dong Hello, with Bayley welcoming her fellow Grand Slam winner, Seth Rollins. After coming through the door, Rollins has a seat and talks about how much he likes the new set (which isn’t very new). He is rather proud of how much Bayley has been doing as of late, especially when you have Bianca Belair treating her with such a lack of respect.

We see Bayley’s face taking over all of the screens last week as she laughed a lot and Seth finds it great. Bayley has a clip of her own, and we see Rollins attacking Cesaro three weeks ago. More cackling ensues but the doorbell rings. Rollins answers and it’s Cesar, who punches Rollins in the face. The brawl is on and Rollins’ suit is ripped apart. Cesaro throws him into the door to knock it over and Rollins is sent running. The guys leave so here is Bianca Belair to laugh at Bayley’s destroyed set.

We look at Roman Reigns attacking the Mysterios last week.

Rey Mysterio isn’t happy with the way Roman Reigns attacked Dominik last week. He doesn’t care show big Reigns is, because he is coming to fight for his son.

Chad Gable vs. Montez Ford

Gable wrestles him to the mat to start and works on an armbar. Back up and Ford grabs an armdrag into an armbar, followed by an armdrag into an armbar. That’s broken up and Ford’s leapfrog is countered into an ankle lock, only to have Ford lean back onto him for two. They go to the apron and crash down to the floor, sending us to a break.

Back with Gable hitting a belly to back suplex but they both try crossbodies for a double knockdown. We cut to the back where Otis jumps Angelo Dawkins and come back to the ring for Ford hitting a spinebuster. From The Heavens gets two but Otis runs in for the DQ at 9:25 (I wonder if Otis was supposed to break up the cover and was a bit late).

Rating: C. Not a bad match and it’s nice to see that Ford can hang in the ring on his own. The ending wasn’t the best but at least they seem to be setting up a pretty nice tag match. The good thing to see here is the fact that this is a simple yet perfectly effective tag team feud. They aren’t breaking any new ground, but I’ll take something done well over something new being a mess any day.

Post match the beatdown is on, with Angelo Dawkins’ attempted save failing badly.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. King Corbin

We don’t even get the Rick Boogs entrance! The bell rings and Boogs starts playing to distract Corbin, allowing Nakamura to strike away. The middle rope knee connects for two but Kinshasa is countered into Deep Six for two. Corbin strikes away and pulls Nakamura down by the head. A quick victory roll gives Nakamura the pin at 1:52 (it’s as sudden as it sounds).

Post match Boogs runs after the crown but gets decked. Nakamura takes it from Corbin though and throws Corbin over the announcers’ table. McAfee inches over to Boogs, who goes inside (McAfee, seemingly thinking his mic is off: “Oh, I thought we were going to do something there.”).

Roman Reigns says he and Jey Uso can go to “their” locker room.

King Corbin storms into Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville’s office and demands his crown match. Pearce says no but Sonya says they can have a rubber match next week in a Battle For The Crown. For those keeping track, that will be the fifth match in six weeks. So far, they haven’t combined to go fifteen minutes yet.

Roman Reigns and Jey Uso come in to see Jimmy Uso (with Jey standing in the middle for a perfect visual). Reigns holds up the Universal Title and asks what Jimmy is thinking. Jimmy goes on about how he doesn’t care about the title, saying that Reigns has been doing this since they were all kids. Jimmy knows that Reigns is going to the Hall of Fame one day, but he’s going in as a spoiled b****.

Reigns starts talking to Jey about what Jimmy is doing, but Jimmy says Reigns is doing the same thing. Jey says he’s tired of both of them and walks out. Jimmy is ready to fight but Reigns says they aren’t kids anymore. This is their family business and Jimmy needs to start using his head.

Reigns should be able to depend on Jimmy because it is all of them and continue to be the best every single week. That is all he has ever known: being the best. It’s time for Jimmy to make this right with him and his family. Jimmy leaves and Reigns looks serious. Reigns was VERY fired up here and sounded a bit like the Rock when he started talking fast.

Here is Rey Mysterio to call out Roman Reigns so here he comes (with Paul Heyman of course). Rey gets straight to the point by acknowledging Reigns as the rat that he is for putting his hands on Rey’s son. He wants to fight Reigns and he wants it inside the Cell. Reigns acknowledges him…and Rey whips out a surprise kendo stick to hammer him down. That’s broken up but here’s Dominik with a stick of his own to break up the spear. You don’t do that to Reigns, who POWERBOMBS Dominik over the top in a great visual (though you don’t see the landing). Rey dives onto Dominik to end the show on fire.

Overall Rating: C. As usual, this was the Roman Reigns Show, as anything he did was great and everything else was pretty hit or miss. The problem here is the rematches, as we had two matches we saw last week which went about the same (save for the winners). It really does kind of feel like they’re out of ideas to promote the pay per view and are just filling time, which isn’t the best look. The show still has some matches to make for the pay per view so next week should be covered, but this wasn’t a thrilling show.

Results
Kevin Owens/Big E. b. Apollo Crews/Sami Zayn – Stunner to Zayn
Liv Morgan b. Carmella – Oblivion
Montez Ford b. Chad Gable via DQ when Otis interfered
Shinsuke Nakamura b. King Corbin – Victory roll

 

 

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