Monday Night Raw
Date: October 20, 2008
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last Raw before Cyber Sunday and we have a question about who should be the guest referee of the World Title match between Chris Jericho and Batista. There really isn’t much else for Raw on the pay per view and that doesn’t leave us with a lot to do on this show. Well save for finding out which legend will challenge Santino Marella for the Intercontinental Title, which should be interesting. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Candice Michelle/Kelly Kelly vs. Katie Lea/Jillian Hall

Hall shoves Kelly down to start but it’s off to Michelle for a double elbow. Naturally Lawler spends the match talking about how excited he is at seeing the Divas in Halloween costumes on Sunday, because that’s what Lawler does. Michelle is sent outside and crashes to the floor, with Hall grabbing a seated abdominal stretch. That’s broken up and Kelly comes back in for her screaming headscissors. Everything breaks down and Kelly’s Fameasser gets the pin on Hall.

Rating: C. The best thing I can say here is that this was a match. There are so many times when the women are thrown out there to do whatever dumb thing they are asked to do (ala Fuzzy Dice On A Pole last week on Smackdown). This wasn’t a good match, but it was a totally standard match and it went fine. I’ll definitely take that as the slow steps towards turning the division into something serious slowly continue. That being said, this is how they opened the go home Raw for a pay per view?

We look back at last week, with Chris Jericho and Batista picking the other’s opponents, which did not go so well for Jericho.

Here is Jericho for a chat but first, he insists that Lilian Garcia give him a proper introduction. Jericho does not like the fans disrespecting him and suggesting that he is going to lose on Sunday. He might even have to add Mike Adamle to the list of people disrespecting him. Jericho goes over the options for guest referee at Cyber Sunday and talks about some of the times where he has overcome the odds.

This brings out Batista, who isn’t wild on a lot of this stuff. After mocking Jericho’s hair, Batista says you earn respect rather than demanding it. If Jericho beats him at Cyber Sunday, maybe he’ll earn some respect, but until then, he needs to stop whining. Cue Mike Adamle, who wants to talk about respect. They’ll both be performing tonight, but in a pair of gauntlet matches. Adamle doesn’t list any opponents but Jericho slaps Batista before leaving.

Here is JBL for a match and he’s not happy about having to face some lame impersonator. Yes we are in uncertain financial times but the reality is the rich will become richer and the poor (“That would be you.”) become poorer. And then the glass shatters, but it’s not what you might expect. Ok it probably is.

John Bradshaw vs. Steve Haastin

JBL: “You’ve got to be kidding me.” The bell rings and Haastin hits a Thesz press, followed by the corner stomping. The Stunner is blocked though and the Clothesline From JBL is enough for the fast pin.

Post match JBL says that is the bottom line because he says so.

Mike Knox seems to be coming to Raw. Uh, great.

Rey Mysterio vs. Snitsky

Snitsky powers him into the corner to start and grabs a gutbuster to work on the bad ribs. A big boot in the corner misses though and Mysterio gets in the top rope seated senton. The 619 and springboard splash finish Snitsky without much trouble.

John Morrison/The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston/CM Punk

Before the match, Miz and Morrison say there is still time for them to be on Cyber Sunday (somehow) because they are better than the Freebirds, the Legion Of Doom and DX. Miz: “Are you fifty? NO! I SAID ARE YOU FIFTY???” Punk and Morrison start things off because they were joined at the hip for a good while.

Morrison takes him into the corner so Miz can come in, earning himself a beating. It’s off to Kingston for a heck of a dropkick and Morrison is tossed outside with him as the good guys clear the ring. Back in and Punk’s running ax handle gets two on Punk but Morrison kicks Kingston off the ropes.

Morrison suplexes him into a chinlock and we take a break. We come back with Kingston kicking his way out of trouble, only for Miz to grab another chinlock. Said chinlock is broken up and it’s back to Punk so the pace can pick way up. The GTS hits Morrison but Miz comes in off the blind tag and gets the rollup for the clean pin on Punk.

Rating: B-. That was a snazzy finish as Miz and Morrison have turned into a heck of a team, with Miz pinning a former World Champion. That’s quite the big win and I could go for seeing more of them at a higher level. At the same time, Punk is kind of floating around without something specific to do. That needs to change, though I’m not sure what that could be at the moment.

Chris Jericho rants to Mike Adamle about his lack of respect but Adamle says this is so Jericho can earn respect.

Here are Beth Phoenix and Santino Marella, with the latter dressed as Roddy Piper, complete with Goldust paint and a guitar. Marella says any of the legends he could face are the same. Piper is fat, Goldust is dressed as a woman and Honky Tonk Man is….oddly obsessed with pork chops?

This brings out Jim Duggan of all people, who says Marella is on the last minute of his fifteen minutes of fame. Marella is the flashiest of the flashes in the pan, but he says Duggan only won a gold medal at the Goodwill Games. Duggan refers to Phoenix as Marella’s boyfriend so she throws the kilt at him, allowing Marella to hit him with the guitar. Oddly enough, the villains get to leave after standing tall.

We look at WWE in Puerto Rico.

Cryme Tyme vs. Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase

Non-title and Manu is here with Rhodes/DiBiase. Actually hold on as the three of them jump Cryme Tyme and lay them out before the bell. No match.

Cyber Sunday rundown.

Here are Mike Adamle, Batista and Chris Jericho for the double gauntlet match, as they will face the same three opponents.

Batista vs. William Regal

Regal has Layla with him and gets Batista Bombed for the pin in about 30 seconds.

Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Non-title. Regal gets up and walks into the Codebreaker for the pin at about 6 seconds. I’m not sure how impressive that really is but I’m not sure how well they thought this out.

Chris Jericho vs. Mark Henry

Non-title and Tony Atlas is here with Henry. Jericho goes after the knee to start fast but the Walls are easily blocked. Henry misses a splash and gets Lionsaulted for two. With nothing else working, Jericho grabs the belt and hits Henry in the head with the belt for the DQ.

Batista vs. Mark Henry

The spinebuster finishes Henry at about fifteen seconds.

For some reason Jericho has to keep wrestling despite losing the second match as I have no idea what is going on here.

Chris Jericho vs. Kane

Non-title and we’re joined in progress with Kane getting two off a running DDT. Jericho takes him into the corner and works on the leg but the Walls are blocked again. Kane’s side slam sets up a missed elbow so he goes up, only to get crotched by Jericho. Kane shoves him off the top and hits the top rope clothesline as Batista is rather pleased. Jericho gets dumped to the floor, where Batista backs him right into Kane. A big boot finishes Jericho back inside.

Batista vs. Kane

Jericho distracts Kane and Batista hits a spear for the fast pin. Apparently this makes him the winner?

Rating: D-. There was barely any action, but the bigger problem is pretty obvious: I have no idea how the rules worked and I don’t think WWE did either. Why did Jericho have to face Kane if he had already been pinned? This wasn’t so much a gauntlet match as much as it was some weird “who can get the higher score” match and I have no idea who would have won if they both went 3-0. But hey, heck of a way to have all three villains get pinned in a row!

Overall Rating: D+. Yeah I have no idea what to make of this show, as the only interesting thing about Cyber Sunday, at least on the Raw side, is who gets to referee Batista vs. Jericho. The problem there is they have completely lost the plot on why Batista and Jericho are fighting, making the whole thing a mess. It’s something about Jericho wanting respect from Mike Adamle? I think maybe? Either way, total mess here, with an ok tag match not being nearly enough to save the thing.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 13, 2008
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Cyber Sunday and the Raw main event has already been announced. Chris Jericho will defend the World Title against Batista but there are some options for guest referee. That should make for a main theme this week, though the pay per view will need a bit more than that one match. We’ll probably get some of it here so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Chris Jericho is in Mike Adamle’s office and complains about the Cyber Sunday title match. Adamle isn’t having this and says that he’s making another decision. Tonight, Jericho and Batista are both going to wrestle and they get to pick the other’s opponents. Jericho isn’t impressed and threatens McMahon involvement, but Adamle says Shane and Stephanie turn their phones off during Raw (Since when?). With that no longer an option, Jericho storms off and runs into Jamie Noble with Candice Michelle and Mickie James. The women are both texting someone and Jericho…keeps walking.

Here is Jericho in the ring to complain to Shane and Stephanie McMahon about Randy Orton, Shawn Michaels and Steve Austin as the options for guest referee. None of those are fair to him and he knows Austin would Stun him to take the title away due to all of the times he’s bragged about beating Austin and Rock in one night (fair).

After a quick slip by saying he shouldn’t have an unbiased official (though he does save it so quickly that it was barely noticeable), Jericho calls the whole thing unfair but here is Shawn Michaels to interrupt. Michaels is rather serious and says he would love to say he’d be a perfect referee so he could count Jericho as the winner and then beat him for the title. The reality though is that he would make Jericho’s match a nightmare. For now though, he’s going to do what Barack Obama and John McCain would love to do to each other, and the beating is on. Jericho bails and makes Michaels vs. Batista for tonight. Makes sense.

You can pick the stipulation for Kane vs. Rey Mysterio at Cyber Sunday. Your choices are No Holds Barred, Falls Count Anywhere and 2/3 Falls. That’s more like it as No Holds Barred or Falls Count Anywhere could both win.

Rey Mysterio/Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry/Kane

Hardy strikes away at Henry to start and even gets in the middle rope elbow to the back of the neck. The Twist Of Fate is blocked though and Kane gets in a distraction so Henry can run Hardy over. The neck crank goes on and the villains get to take some turns beating on Hardy. Kane’s chinlock is broken up and Hardy gets in a DDT, allowing the tag off to Mysterio. The basement dropkick hits Kane and a spinning reverse DDT puts him down again. There’s the 619 but as Henry and Hardy fight to the back. Mysterio tries a dive off the top but gets booted out of the air for the pin.

Rating: C+. I love seeing two feuds advanced at once and they did it well here. Hardy vs. Henry is probably about to wrap up while Kane vs. Mysterio seems to still have some juice left. That should make for a good double feature at the pay per view, assuming Henry is the one getting the title shot.

Batista thinks Chris Jericho was smart to pick him as Shawn Michaels’ opponent. He respects Michaels as a competitor, but if Michaels tries to take him out, he’ll beat Michaels to the punch.

Here is JBL for a match but first, he wants to thank Congress for their recent bailout. He’s so happy because there will always be poor people but the rich must be taken care of at all costs. JBL is a rare American success story and a real American. I think you know where this is going.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Haas Hogan

JBL punches him down like the diminishing joke that Haas is but gets dropped by three right hands and a big boot. The Clothesline From JBL finishes Haas in a hurry.

Some of the Jackass guys are here and have no idea how various content making fun of the Great Khali made it onto their website. Now bring on the midgets!

John Cena is recovering from surgery and a lot of wrestlers think he’s rather spiffy. Oh and his brother likes him too.

Here is Randy Orton for a chat. He finds it interesting that he didn’t get kind words like that when he was injured. Sure he finished his match with HHH with a broken collarbone but no one cared because he’s not John Cena (“Thank God”.). He doesn’t want you to vote for him so he won’t get hurt so close to his return. Either way, he’ll be World Champion again, like it or not. Well that’s not how these things usually go but it does fit for Orton.

Batista vs. Shawn Michaels

Hold on though as Chris Jericho pops up on screen to say this is going to be a lumberjack match. A bunch of villains surround the ring and we’re ready to go. Well after a break that is and we’re joined in progress with Batista knocking Michaels outside, only for Michaels to come back in for a Figure Four.

That’s broken up so Michaels chops away in the corner, earning himself a heck of a clothesline. A powerslam gives Batista two and he grabs a rear naked choke. Michaels slips out and hammers away, earning himself one heck of a backdrop for two. The choke goes on again before Batista just hits him in the back for a change.

Michaels grabs a rollup for two and tries a superkick but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl slam for two instead. Batista sends him outside for a bearhug from Mark Henry and we take a break. We come back with Batista holding his own bearhug, only to miss a charge out to the floor. Batista beats up various lumberjacks and comes back inside, where Michaels knocks him down. They both crash out to the floor though and the lumberjacks swarm for the double DQ.

Rating: B-. The match was fine but you knew the lumberjacks were going to do something. You don’t want either of them to lose (especially Batista) so having a bunch of people run in was a good save. On top of that, Jericho would be happy for the two of them to get beaten up and that was probably his plan all along.

Post match the brawl is on with Batista and Michaels clearing the ring before showing each other some respect. Chris Jericho is rather annoyed in the back.

Here are Santino Marella and Beth Phoenix for a chat. Marella isn’t thrilled with having to face Goldust, Roddy Piper or the Honky Tonky Man at Cyber Sunday. They’re all perverted you see. Eh kind of yeah. That brings Marella to the Jackass stars at ringside, with Marella inviting them into the ring. Johnny Knoxville refers to Phoenix as a dude because…well because she needs a reason to slam him (and not very well either, which I’m assuming is due to Knoxville not being a wrestler).

Marella and Phoenix leave so here is Hornswoggle as this is going to be an odd segment. Hornswoggle tadpole splashes Knoxville so here is Big Dick Johnson to dance, with one of Knoxville’s friends stripping and dancing as well. Cue the Boogeyman of all people to give said friend the worms. Knoxville gets up and here is Great Khali for the chokebomb. This was in fact a Jackass WWE segment and it went on for a good while.

JTG finds and keeps a Mighty Ducks hockey mask in the back.

Here are Miz and John Morrison to “rap” about Cryme Tyme. They even throw in Jillian Hall to sing as only she can (thank goodness). And yeah Miz and Morrison get that she’s bad.

Cryme Tyme/Kelly Kelly vs. Miz/John Morrison/Jillian Hall

Hall forearms away at Kelly to start so Kelly springboards away for a clothesline. Miz comes in to catapult JTG into a forearm from Morrison, whose neckbreaker gets two. JTG fights up and brings in Gaspard to clean house as everything breaks down. Everything breaks down and JTG hits Morrison in the back with the hockey mask to give Gaspard the pin.

Rating: C-. It was short, it wasn’t very good, and it was mainly about the hockey mask, which was just there for the sake of playing to the local fans. Miz and Morrison vs. Cryme Tyme is funny enough because Miz and Morrison know how to make themselves look like morons but the Kelly vs. Hall stuff isn’t exactly as thrilling. At least it was short though.

Chris Jericho vs. ???

Non-title and Batista’s handpicked opponent is….CM Punk. Oh and hold on because here is Batista himself to be guest referee. Punk grabs an early rollup to start so Jericho tries to leave, earning a trip right back to the ring. That’s fine with Punk, who ties him up with a choke in the ropes and Batista is fine with leaving him alone.

Punk knocks him down again but gets pulled off the ropes to give Jericho a breather. The chinlock goes on for a bit but Jericho’s running bulldog is shoved into the corner. The GTS is blocked as well though and a Codebreaker gets two…as Batista has something in his eyes. Batista, who is of course blind, Batista Bombs Jericho and Punk gives a “sure why not” look before getting the pin.

Rating: B-. This went well enough for a short match where you knew exactly what was going to happen. That’s not a bad thing either, as they didn’t bother hiding the idea and just rolled with it. Batista got his revenge on Jericho and Punk didn’t look like a loser so I’ll take this to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. They were in a rough spot here and they made it work out well enough. The problem with Cyber Sunday is you have so many details being officially set up the night of the show, even down to some of the matches themselves. That makes building things up a bit tricky, but they did a good enough job with the World Title picture. It’s certainly not a show you need to see, but it could have been a lot worse.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XXVI
Date: March 28, 2010
Location: University of Phoenix Stadium, Glendale, Arizona
Attendance: 72,219
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker
America The Beautiful: Fantasia

So last year at Wrestlemania XXV, Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker had one of the best matches ever. That means it’s time for a rematch, with Michaels career on the line. That is more than big enough for a special match, to the point where it makes John Cena vs. Batista for the WWE Title feel that less important. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Mark Henry, Shad Gaspard, JTG, Goldust, Yoshi Tatsu, Santino Marella, Primo, Kung Fu Naki, Slam Master J., Jimmy Wang Yang, Chris Masters, Vladimir Kozlov, Great Khali, Finlay, William Regal, Luke Gallows, Carlito, Tyler Reks, Zack Ryder, Lance Archer, Mike Knox, Caylen Croft, Trent Beretta, Tyson Kidd, David Hart-Smith, Chavo Guerrero

Prime is out within seconds, followed by Beretta and Croft at the same time. Henry launches Chavo out but then gets tossed by Khali. A bunch of people get together to toss Khali before Cryme Tyme gets rid of Gallows. Then Shad tosses JTG because that’s how battle royals work. Regal and Finlay slug it out for old times’ sake before everyone breaks off for fights of their own.

Masters keeps putting people in the Masterlock and is eliminated for not being that bright. Kozlov eliminates Kidd and Hart-Smith before being tossed out as well. Funaki, Goldust, Regal and Shad are out in a row, with Reks following them. Santino starts using the Cobra and thankfully is tossed out by Finlay.

Archer gets rid of Yang and is quickly dropkicked out by Tatsu (Striker continues to try and get “The Poison Fist Of The Pacific Rim” over as a nickname for Tatsu. This is because Striker is really annoying.). Knox gets to clean house for a bit but cue Hornswoggle for a distraction, allowing Finlay to get in a shillelagh shot. The Tadpole Splash hits Knox and Finlay tosses Carlito. Ryder eliminates Finlay and Knox at the same time, leaving Tatsu to kick Ryder out at 8:43.

Rating: C. It’s a battle royal to get a bunch of people on the show. They didn’t waste time here and it gave the fans something to see during the pre-show, which is about all you can ask for here. Tatsu was someone who seemed like he was ready to move forward more than once but it just never came together. It’s not like this was some big win but he was as good of a winner as you could have had.

Fantasia sings America The Beautiful. Not well but she does sing it.

The opening video talks about what it means to be at Wrestlemania and how important it is to be here. This is the big chance and the stars will seize it.

The set has something of an ancient pyramid theme with another over the ring, both of which look cool. If nothing else, I’ve always liked I Made It.

Tag Team Titles: ShoMiz vs. R-Truth/John Morrison

ShoMiz is defending and there isn’t much of a story here, save for Truth and Morrison winning a triple threat match to get the title shot. Miz and Morrison start things off with Morrison getting the better of things. Truth comes in with a top rope legdrop for two into a WHAT’S UP. It’s off to Show, who sends Truth flying with a fall away slam. What looks to be a Vader Bomb is broken up via a Morrison kick to the head, followed by Morrison’s knee to Miz’s head. Show breaks up Starship Pain though, leaving Truth’s dive to Show to fail miserably. Back in and Show KO Punches Morrison for the pin to retain at 3:25.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one and it really would have been better off as a pre-show match. They didn’t even get four minutes and there is only so much you can do with the amount of time you might get on a regular TV show. ShoMiz was a fairly forgettable team and while it was nice to have the titles on the card, it’s not like this was anything remotely memorable.

Video on Wrestlemania Week, which always looks cool.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

Legacy implodes as Orton has had it with the two of them screwing up and turned on them, setting up this for some revenge. DiBiase and Rhodes go after him to start and it doesn’t go well early on. Orton gets smart by dividing and conquering but walks into a dropkick from DiBiase. The double teaming is on with both of them taking turns to punch Orton while the other holds him back. There’s a double suplex to put Orton down but he fights out of the corner (the fans approve).

The comeback doesn’t last long though as DiBiase hits a clothesline, setting up a High/Low to put Orton down again. Rhodes snaps off an Alabama Slam for two and the save from DiBiase means it’s time for the young hooligans to fight. Orton fights up and sends DiBiase to the floor, followed by a snap powerslam back inside. There’s the backbreaker to Rhodes but DiBiase pulls Orton outside. Rhodes’ dive only hits DiBiase so Orton hits the double hanging DDT. With DiBiase down on the floor, Orton Punts Rhodes and then RKO’s an invading DiBiase for the pin at 9:02.

Rating: C+. There wasn’t much in the way of drama here once DiBiase and Rhodes got in their offense. Orton looked like he was toying with them at the end, which was part of the reason why he was turning into a popular star all over again. This was about Orton smashing through his former lackeys and showing them who the real star was, which he did in quite the destruction by the end.

Vickie Guerrero and company are ready for their ten woman tag. Jillian Hall comes in for a song and whole thing turns into a Slim Jim commercial, with Santino Marella having a bite to change Jillian. First she’s Mae Young, then Gene Okerlund (yes in the same dress) and finally Melina. Wacky….I guess you could call it fun? This isn’t on the Network due to the music.

Money In The Bank

Christian, Dolph Ziggler, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Evan Bourne, Kane, Kofi Kingston, Matt Hardy, MVP, Shelton Benjamin

This is the last Wrestlemania MITB match before it would go on to get its own show this same year. It’s the usual melee to start with almost everyone going outside. The first ladder is sent inside about thirty seconds in but a bunch of people stop to go after McIntyre rather than climbing. Almost everyone tries to go up but gets stopped, with Kane chokeslamming Bourne over the top for a crash onto more people.

Swagger and Hardy get trapped behind a ladder in the corner and Christian monkey flips Kingston into the ladder onto them. Ziggler breaks it up and makes the climb but MVP pulls him right back down. Kingston hammers on Kane in the corner, earning himself a powerbomb onto a ladder. Benjamin goes up this time so it’s Swagger spearing him with another ladder to break it up.

Swagger gets caught under a ladder so Hardy and Christian hit him with a ladder each. One of the ladders is bridged into another, with Bourne kicking Christian off the bridged version. Air Bourne hits Christian and Bourne goes up, only to be cut off by Hardy. Swagger cuts Hardy off though and shoves him onto the bridged ladder for the huge crash. Shelton and MVP go up but come crashing down, leaving everyone on the floor for a bit.

Kane goes up but has to cut off Ziggler, including a chokeslam onto the ladder. With Kane distracted, Kofi comes back in to kick him in the head but the only ladder available is broken. Kofi gets crazy creative by using the pieces like stilts and jumping up the rungs, only to have McIntyre make the save.

McIntyre goes up but Hardy shoves the ladder over for the big crotching on top. It’s Matt going up this time until Christian is there as well but they both have to knock Kane down. That’s not enough for Christian, who hits the reverse DDT off the ladder to plant Matt again. Christian goes up again, only to have Swagger make the save and pull the case down for the win at 13:29.

Rating: B-. It was a wild match as usual but there is only so much you can do with ten people in a match trying to get in as much time as possible. The stilts spot was very unique and stood out more than anything else, though the rest was little more than the usual big spots and crashes. Swagger winning is a surprise, but WWE was trying something new and that’s often a good idea.

We look back at last night’s Hall Of Fame ceremony.

The Class of 2010 is introduced:

Stu Hart (represented by eight relatives)
Wendi Richter (seems very happy to be there)
Mad Dog Vachon (sadly in a wheelchair)
Antonio Inoki (not the strongest reaction)
Bob Uecker (nice reception)
Gorgeous George (represented by his former wife)
Ted DiBiase (by far the strongest reaction)

Sweet goodness that Hall of Fame theme is always awesome.

We recap HHH vs. Sheamus. After debuting on Raw and winning the WWE Title within a few weeks, Sheamus was knocked out of the Elimination Chamber by HHH, costing him the title. Sheamus then went on to talk about how much he loved watching HHH while growing up. Then Sheamus laid him out, which HHH liked because it’s what he did when he went after the Ultimate Warrior in 1996 (and yes they explained how badly it went). That plus a need for revenge makes for a Wrestlemania match.

HHH vs. Sheamus

HHH’s entrance goes on for a good while, as you might have expected. Sheamus drives him into the corner to start but HHH hits him in the face. It’s way too early for the Pedigree though as Sheamus bails out to the floor. Back in and a suplex drops Sheamus again, setting up the knee drop for one.

HHH goes old school (shocking I know) as we hit the Figure Four, with Sheamus going straight to the ropes. The fight goes outside with HHH being whipped into the steps, followed by the (yet to be named) Irish Curse back inside. An ax handle to the head cuts HHH off again and Sheamus grabs the armbar.

We’ll make that a chinlock but HHH suplexes his way to freedom, sending Striker into a FAR too long….whatever you call what he does. HHH grabs a DDT and they’re both down, followed by the expected slugout. There’s the running knee into the facebuster for two and a neckbreaker drops Sheamus for the same.

The yet to be named Brogue Kick misses so HHH tries the Pedigree, only to be reversed into the Brogue Kick for two. The fans are rather behind HHH, who fights out of the High Cross (Razor’s Edge) and gets two more off a spinebuster. Sheamus rolls out to the apron and manages another Brogue Kick…but takes too long and gets Pedigreed out of nowhere for the pin at 11:47.

Rating: B-. This is the type of match that will work almost every single time as you had two big strong guys beating the fire out of each other until the ending. That’s the kind of brawl that both of them know how to do (though Sheamus would get WAY better later on) and it worked here. That being said, Sheamus is the up and comer and loses to HHH, which seems to be a bit counterproductive, but this would hardly be the first time that happened.

We recap CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio. After Mysterio cost Punk a spot in Money In The Bank, Punk scared the heck out of Mysterio’s daughter Aliyah. They then traded various attacks before Punk creepily sang Happy Birthday to Aliyah, which was too far. Now it’s time for their fight, with Mysterio having to join the Straight Edge Society if he loses.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Punk has the Straight Edge Society (Luke Gallows and Serena) with him and talks about how these 70,000 people here are going to drink or try pills to make their problems go away. He can be their savior and lead them to a better place because he chooses to be drug free and better than everyone here. Mysterio is one of the Na’vi from Avatar, which isn’t quite the same as the superhero gear he tends to use.

Gallows offers an early distraction and Punk gets to stomp away in the corner before tying Mysterio in the Tree of Woe. A missed charge results in a crotching against the post though and they head to the floor…where Punk drops him face first onto the steps. Back in and Punk hammers away for two and we’re already in the chinlock. Mysterio fights out like he’s a top star who was in a chinlock and hits the springboard seated senton.

Punk snaps off a powerslam for two before hitting one heck of a kick to the head for the same. Four more near falls have Punk rather frustrated until Mysterio is up with a springboard moonsault DDT for two of his own. Mysterio’s frog splash misses to give Punk two more, meaning it’s time for even more frustration. Back up and Mysterio loads him up for the 619 but has to take out the Society. Not that it matters as the 619 into the springboard splash finishes Punk at 6:30.

Rating: C+. Another match that was good but they didn’t have the time to do very much. It had the stakes and they work well together, but there is only so much they can do when they have less than seven minutes. It makes perfect sense to have the loudmouth holier than thou heel get what’s coming to him and who better to do that than one of the resident superheroes?

We recap Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon. Hart returned after thirteen years of bitterness after the Montreal Screwjob and of course Vince McMahon couldn’t let it to. Hart wanted to fight Vince at Wrestlemania but got turned down, only to have his leg broken in a car wreck in the parking lot. Then Vince agreed to fight him….and then Hart revealed he was gold bricking, because that’s just what Hart does.

Vince McMahon vs. Bret Hart

No Holds Barred. Hold on though as Vince grabs a mic and says he’s hired a bunch of lumberjacks, in the form of various members of the Hart Family. As a bonus, Bret’s brother Bruce can be guest referee! Bret isn’t overly shocked and says what’s done is done. If there is one thing about the Harts though, it’s that they got paid up front and the money is already in the bank.

If there is one thing he’s learned from the Montreal Screwjob, it’s there’s nothing better than a good double cross. The Harts, including Bret, are united, and tonight is the night that Bret screws Vince. The bell rings and Bret punches him down and chokes in the corner, with Vince bailing to the floor. That means the Harts can make it even worse, including a slap from Natalya (Striker: “Best luck in your future endeavors Natalya.”).

The Hart Dynasty hits a top rope Hart Attack to the floor and it’s time to throw Vince back inside. Bret works on the leg, which sends Vince outside again. This time he comes back in with tire iron but Bret knocks it away again and takes it away. Bret hammers away with the tire iron…and then does it some more…and more, to the point where unless Bret has the strength of a two year old, Vince should be in a coma.

The Sharpshooter is teased but Bret lets it go so he can use the tire iron again. Some low blows have Vince down again and let’s get a chair in there too. Bret sits down and then hits some hard chair shots to Vince’s back. The chair is bent up so Bret finally (and I do mean finally) grabs the Sharpshooter for the win at 11:08.

Rating: C. Ok so I’ve called this an A+ before because I love what they did with Vince being absolutely destroyed and not getting in a single bit of offense. This was never supposed to be anything but a massacre until the Sharpshooter…but my goodness how long did they go with the tire iron/chair shots? The thing here is that this is really only a match in name only so I’m not going to call it bad, but Bret couldn’t have mixed it up with some different stuff other than hitting him over and over with the same stuff?

A big Hart celebration ensues.

Wrestlemania XXVII is coming to Atlanta, Georgia.

Official attendance: 72,219.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Edge for the Smackdown World Title. They were partners last year but Edge tore his Achilles. Edge came back at the Royal Rumble (at #29 in a great surprise) and won, setting up his title shot here. For some reason the build for this match involved Edge saying “spear” over and over until it lost all meaning.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is defending. They start slowly with Jericho grabbing a headlock (Jericho: “Ask him!”) but Edge is right back with some running shoulders. Jericho is back with some stompings in the corner before sending Edge outside. That’s good for a long count before Edge comes back in and gets chinlocked. Jericho slowly stomps and slaps away, which takes long enough that Edge manages to send him shoulder first into the post.

A running shoulder sends Jericho into the announcers’ table and there’s a clothesline off the apron. They head back inside and hopefully pick up the energy a bit here. Back in and Edge gets two off a super gordbuster, followed by a middle rope sunset flip for the same. Jericho goes simple by kicking him in the head but the Codebreaker is blocked. The spear is countered into a quick Walls but Edge slips out.

The Lionsault misses and Edge is right back up with the Edge O Matic for two. Jericho’s enziguri gets two more but so does the Impaler as things slow back down a bit. Jericho mixes things up a bit with a middle rope forearm to the back of the head (Edge was nice enough to look over his shoulder before Jericho jumped), only to have his own spear cut off by a big boot.

The real spear is countered into a Codebreaker for a rather delayed two. Jericho starts going after the ankle before switching to the Walls. We’ll make that a half Walls to stay on the bad ankle but the rope is grabbed. Edge’s rollup for two is also grabbed and they crash out to the floor for a breather. The frustrated Jericho grabs the belt and the referee gets distracted, allowing Jericho’s belt shot to get two. The Codebreaker to a limping Edge retains the title at 15:47.

Rating: B. This was good but it never hit that next level and it made things kind of disappointing. Edge only teased the spear once and never got a big near fall. I was expecting something a lot more epic than we got here and that just didn’t happen. There were some shenanigans due to the belt shot but this needed to be more intense and violent given what Edge was saying coming in.

Post match Jericho goes after Edge again but Edge hits a spear off the announcers’ table and through the barricade as the feud must continue.

We look at the pre-show battle royal.

Alicia Fox/Laycool/Maryse/Vickie Guerrero vs. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres/Gail Kim/Kelly Kelly/Mickie James

Get the women on the show special. Vickie bumps Gail to start and turns around to pose, only to run into Phoenix. The non-Vickie team takes turns beating on Vickie in the corner, who asks if Kelly knows who she is. That earns Vickie a kick to the ribs with McCool making the save. Everything breaks down and we hit the parade of finishers, leaving Vickie crying in the corner as Beth comes up behind her. McCool makes another save and the Hog Splash (Cole’s name) finishes Kelly at 3:29.

Rating: D. Oh what else were you expecting here? A bunch of the people barely did anything, there were a bunch of Vickie fat jokes, Lawler drooled over most of them and Striker continues to try to make everything sound like the most important moment ever because it gets people paying attention to him. Terrible match and little more than a way for Vickie to keep her heat.

We recap John Cena challenging Batista for the Raw World Title. Cena got the title back in the Elimination Chamber but Vince McMahon allowed Batista an immediate title shot. Now it’s time for the fair rematch, with Batista talking about being tired of Cena being the star when they got big at the same time. You can pretty much ignore all of those details though and just go with “It’s John Cena vs. Batista for the WWE Title at Wrestlemania.”

Raw World Title: Batista vs. John Cena

Batista is defending and Cena’s big entrance is from the United States Air Force Honor Guard Drill Team. We get the Big Match Intros before they fight over a lockup. Batista grabs a headlock before running Cena over, only to have Cena come back with a headlock of his own. That’s broken up and Batista sends him hard into the corner for the running clothesline to the back of the head.

Some cranking on the neck has Cena down but he manages a release suplex (that didn’t look great) and the bulldog connects for two. It’s way too early for the AA though as Batista reverses into a DDT for two of his own. A chinlock with a bodyscissors keeps Cena down for a bit, only to have him power up and start slugging away. Batista sticks with what has been working by grabbing a neckbreaker for two more.

The front chancery keeps Cena in trouble until he powers up again. The STF goes on out of nowhere but Batista grabs the rope like a bad villain should. Batista is fine enough to hit a spear for two before loading Cena up top. The superplex attempt is blocked and Cena hits a super Five Knuckle Shuffle of all things.

Batista gets back up and hits his namesake Bomb for two, giving us a great shocked face. Back up Cena counters another Batista Bomb into the AA (toss variation) for two, leaving them both down. Cena goes up but dives into a spinebuster (how Batista injured Cena’s neck a few years ago), only to have the Batista Bomb reversed into the STF (with Cena giving him a LONG talk) for the tap at 13:29.

Rating: B. It’s good and they were getting to the big stuff but I was expecting longer than just shy of fourteen minutes. Cena getting the title back is the right way to go for him though as he can put someone else over rather soon. Batista was not quite what he used to be but these two instantly make for an epic feel. Not a classic match, though they didn’t do anything wrong with the setup and finish going rather well.

Cena poses with a guy in a WE HATE CENA shirt for a funny moment.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker. Shawn lost to him the previous year before, leaving Shawn obsessed with having to get the win. It is so big that Shawn is willing to put his career on the line against the Streak, saying he doesn’t have a career if he can’t beat the Undertaker. Not that it matters as this feels absolutely huge and you know it’s going to go well.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

No DQ. The entrances are absolutely epic and you know that you’re about to see something special. They also take their sweet time getting to the ring and it builds up even more, with Shawn staring at Undertaker the entire way to the ring. Undertaker charges at him to start but Shawn is right there with the chops. Shawn gets flipped into the corner, setting up Snake Eyes into the big boot.

Old School connects but Undertaker comes up limping a bit. The chokeslam is loaded up but the knee gives out, with Shawn wisely kicking away at the leg. The Tombstone is broken up as well so Shawn starts in on the shoulder, which is a bit of an odd choice given UNDERTAKER IS LIMPING.

Undertaker slips out but has to block a quick superkick attempt as things reset a bit. The logic kicks in as Shawn starts going after the knee in the corner but Undertaker clotheslines him to the floor. The Taker Dive is loaded up but Shawn comes back in to take out the knee in a rather smart move. It’s too early for the Figure Four and they head outside, where Shawn is rammed back first into the post. The apron legdrop connects but Shawn goes after the leg again to take over.

Now the Figure Four goes on until Undertaker sits up. Shawn: “No.” And Undertaker goes back down. Well that was polite of him. Undertaker turns it over so Shawn wisely lets go and they take a breather. Back up and they strike it out until Undertaker grabs a quick chokeslam for two. The Tombstone is escaped again though and Shawn grabs the ankle lock, complete with a grapevine.

Undertaker finally uses the good leg to kick his way to freedom so Shawn sends him outside. A springboard spinning crossbody is pulled out of the air so Undertaker hit the Tombstone on the floor to knock Shawn silly. Medics come out to check on Shawn but Undertaker isn’t having that and throws him back inside for two, meaning frustration is setting in. This might have more of an impact if MATT STRIKER WOULD SHUT UP for once, but instead he needs to keep shouting what he thinks sound like highlight reel worthy lines.

The Last Ride is loaded up but Undertaker’s knee gives out and they crash down, with Shawn getting two off a faceplant. Shawn’s top rope elbow only hits raised knees, which have Undertaker in even more pain. Hell’s Gate goes on but Shawn flips over into a rollup for two. Shawn hits a quick Sweet Chin Music out of nowhere for two but another attempt is countered into a heck of a Last Ride for two more.

They go outside and it’s time to load up the announcers’ table. That takes too long though and it’s a superkick to knock Undertaker onto the table instead. In something that couldn’t possibly go wrong, Shawn goes up and moonsaults down onto Undertaker, mostly hitting his feet/lower legs, which does tie into everything so far. Shawn realizes he has a chance and throws Undertaker inside and hits a clean Sweet Chin Music (that has to be the fourth or fifth) for two, with Cole telegraphing the kickout by screaming that Streak was over.

Another superkick is countered into a chokeslam but Undertaker can barely move, let alone cover. Instead it’s a Tombstone (with tongue) for two and we get another stunned face. Shawn can’t get up so Undertaker loads up the throat slit….but stops. Undertaker tells him to stay down as Shawn pulls himself up and then slaps Undertaker in the face, admitting that he can’t do it and basically telling Undertaker to finish him off. The jumping Tombstone does just that at 24:00.

Rating: A+. What do you want me to say here? This is an absolute masterpiece and one of the best matches either of them have ever had if not their best ever. The leg stuff played a role throughout until Shawn gave it everything he had but just couldn’t do it in the end. It told an amazing story with some great action, including multiple near falls where you could buy it being over. It’s better than I remember it being and one of the best main events in Wrestlemania history.

Undertaker needs the ropes to get to his feet and Shawn finally gets up. Undertaker says something to him we can’t see and they hug before Undertaker leaves him alone in the ring. Shawn gets to soak in the THANK YOU SHAWN chants before doing the long walk up the ramp. Shawn: “I’m gonna drive my kids crazy in three weeks!” He looks back again and walks off to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a weird show as there isn’t much that is Wrestlemania worthy. Edge vs. Jericho is just good, Money in the Bank is its usual ok self, HHH vs. Sheamus is a slightly above average power brawl and Batista vs. Cena wasn’t even fifteen minutes long. Those are the high points though, as the rest of the show is pretty much mediocre/forgettable to bad. That doesn’t make for a great Wrestlemania, but this show is usually pretty well remembered.

That’s because of the main event and my goodness does it deserve the praise it receives. I’ve seen it a few times now and it pulled me in again with how epic of a showdown they were having here. It felt like a Wrestlemania main event match and you do not get those very often. That match alone makes this Wrestlemania worth seeing, though I would definitely recommend fast forwarding a good bit of the midcard, as it was quite the miss in multiple places.

Ratings Comparison

Battle Royal

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: D+
2024 Redo: C

Awesome Truth vs. ShoMiz

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2024 Redo: C-

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C
2024 Redo: C+

Christian vs. Matt Hardy vs. Kane vs. Jack Swagger vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne

Original: B
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C+
2024 Redo: B-

HHH vs. Sheamus

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C+
2024 Redo: B-

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C
2024 Redo: C+

Mr. McMahon vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A
2024 Redo: C

Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Original: A-
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B-
2024 Redo: B

Beth Phoenix/Kevin Kelly/Mickie James/Gail Kim/Eve Torres vs. Vickie Guerrero/Alicia Fox/Laycool/Maryse

Original: F
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2024 Redo: D

John Cena vs. Batista

Original: A
2013 Redo: B+
2015 Redo: B+
2024 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A
2024 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A
2013 Redo: B+
2015 Redo: A-
2024 Redo: B-

That’s quite a drop for the overall rating but some of the lower matches just don’t hold up as well.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XXII
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
America The Beautiful: Michelle Williams

It’s time to go back to an arena, which is quite the change of pace after doing these things in stadiums for so long. Things are in a bit of a weird place for the company as John Cena is still establishing himself as the guy and is defending against HHH. The other story is Eddie Guerrero coming back to life, putting on a mask and trying to win the Smackdown World Title under the name of Rey Mysterio. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Eugene, Viscera, Snitsky, Goldust, Lance Cade, Rob Conway, Tyson Tomko, Trevor Murdoch, Matt Striker, Super Crazy, Funaki, Steven Richards, Simon Dean, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Psicosis, Animal, William Regal

Here’s the “get everyone on the show match” and they’re in Raw/Smackdown shirts because it’s an interpromotional battle royal, despite it being every man for themselves. Dean tries to run his mouth before the match and is immediately tossed out. Conway shows disloyalty by taking off his Raw shirt and is quickly tossed out. Funaki is out as the ring is starting to clear out a bit. Cade gets eliminated and Richards follows him out, with Crazy, Goldust and Regal all being tossed as well.

MNM gives Eugene a Snapshot and gets rid of him before the remaining stars draw a big line and go show vs. show. Psicosis and Murdoch are both out and we’re down to six. Viscera crushes Morrison and Nitro in the corner while Tomko and Snitsky beat up Animal in another corner.

The big splash misses for Viscera but he’s fine enough to hit a DDT on Mercury. We get a double Visagra (Tazz: “Not the Brokeback spot!” Cole: “Melts in your mouth, not in your hand!”) and Nitro and Mercury are both out. Snitsky gets rid of Tomko and we’re down to three. Viscera dumps Animal (that’s a choice) and then fires Snitsky out for the win at 9:04.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure why you wouldn’t have Animal win this as it means nothing and could have given the fans a nice moment to start the show off. Viscera winning is fine, but that’s the whole point of the whole match: anyone would have been fine, but Animal winning would have made the fans happy. There’s nothing wrong with having a bunch of midcarders thrown into a match like this, but the result felt like they missed the layup.

Post match Viscera gyrates at Lilian Garcia and kisses her (they used to be a thing), leaving her looking rather annoyed.

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child sings America The Beautiful.

The opening video, set to Shinedown’s I Dare You, looks at various Wrestlemania moments over the years. This includes looking at various stars from back in the day and what they are doing now for a nice touch. Then we get into the traditional looks at the bigger matches on the card.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Big Show/Kane

Show and Kane are defending, with Kane’s entrance seeing the buildings in the set lighting on fire for a really cool touch. Masters knocks Kane down to start but walks into a dropkick for his efforts. Show comes in for the overly loud chops but Masters rakes his eyes, allowing the tag off to a reluctant Carlito. The fans are pleased to see Carlito, who is crotched on the top rope in quite the landing. With Masters knocked to the floor, Show throws Carlito onto him for the big crash.

Not to be outdone, Kane hits the top rope clothesline onto both of them. Back in and Carlito dropkicks Show’s knee out, sending Show into an exposed buckle. A flapjack gets two on Show but he suplexes both of them and brings Kane back in to clean house. The top rope clothesline is countered into the Masterlock but Show breaks it up rather quickly. Carlito’s Backstabber hits Kane but Masters accidentally knocks Carlito silly. Kane kicks Masters in the face and chokeslams Carlito to retain at 6:42.

Rating: C. I’m not sure why this needed to be on the Wrestlemania card as it was a decent Raw match at best. Kane and Big Show were absolute monsters and it was hard to fathom that they would be in any real danger of losing the titles. Carlito and Masters weren’t exactly top level challengers either, but they would be featured in the midcard for a good while. Kane and Show would lose the titles to the Spirit Squad the next night on Raw.

Post match Carlito and Masters get in an argument and Carlito leaves on his own. Both teams would face off in singles match the next month at Backlash.

Shawn Michaels is ready to end Vince McMahon. He has a history of stealing the show at Wrestlemania but don’t expect a five star match from him tonight. Instead, expect violence and a different kind of Michaels. McMahon better be praying to the God above because Shawn is taking him to h***.

Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Finlay vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Ric Flair

Money In The Bank. Naturally it’s a big brawl to start with Hardy grabbing the first ladder. As usual, said ladder is kicked into him, in this case by Van Dam, who hits a slingshot dive onto the ladder onto Hardy as well. Not to be outdone, Benjamin hits a big step up flip dive off the ladder onto a pile at ringside. Flair goes up the ladder but Hardy suplexes him down for the big crash and all that screaming.

That’s enough for the referee to throw up an X and Flair is helped to the back. With five left for the moment, Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder onto Benjamin onto the ladder, leaving both of them down. Lashley goes up but gets cut down as the fans are behind Van Dam. Finlay throws a ladder at Hardy to cut him off and loads up said ladder, only to have Flair come back and take him down.

Flair goes up but gets shillelaghed back down, leaving Lashley to Dominator Benjamin. Lashley tries the climb but gets dropkicked down by Van Dam, who drives a chair into his back for the save. Instead of climbing, Hardy drops a leg off the ladder onto Lashley before Side Effecting Finlay off the ladder.

Since Finlay is already having a bad day, Van Dam climbs the ladder for a splash onto Finlay for the big crash. Van Dam goes up but Benjamin springboards onto the ladder (geez) for a slugout. Hardy climbs another ladder so Benjamin steps over to join them, only for Van Dam to kick said ladder over. That’s enough for Van Dam to get the briefcase at 12:15.

Rating: B-. I wasn’t feeling this one nearly as much as some of the ladder matches, as this was pretty quick without much in the way of memorable stuff. Flair was pulled out and was then back in about two minutes, meaning there was only so much drama. No one really stood out here, save for Benjamin’s springboard onto the ladder. It wasn’t bad, but it didn’t stand out or pull me in, as they hadn’t really started going nuts with this thing yet.

New Hall Of Famer Gene Okerlund is glad to keep celebrating but Randy Orton comes in to say he’s winning the Smackdown World Title tonight. The injured Batista comes in to say he’s waiting on the winner. He’ll be World Champion by Wrestlemania XXIII. True actually.

We get the Hall Of Fame Class Of 2006 (minus Bret Hart, who was uncomfortable being here):

Gene Okerlund (not much of a reaction actually)
Sensational Sherri (VERY happy to be here)
Tony Atlas (thankfully minus foot jokes)
Verne Gagne (I’d think he’s worthy)
William Refrigerator Perry (dude, get a suit)
The Blackjacks (with some snappy hats)
Eddie Guerrero (there’s your big pop)

A bunch of the other inductees come over to hug Vickie Guerrero in a nice moment.

United States Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

JBL, with Jillian Hall, is challenging and the stage rises up so his limo can come in. Benoit slugs away to start so JBL cuts him off with a headlock. The Crossface attempt doesn’t work, even with Benoit firing off a bunch of headbutts. Back up and some chops drop JBL again but the Sharpshooter doesn’t work either. Instead JBL rolls outside and hides behind Hall, which is enough for JBL to take over back inside.

Benoit avoids a charge in the corner though and the rolling German suplexes have JBL down again. The Swan Dive is broken up and JBL mocks the Eddie Guerrero dance, as you might have expected. A superplex brings Benoit back down for the big crash and a rather delayed cover gets two. JBL gets in Two Amigos before booting Benoit in the face, setting up the chinlock. Benoit suplexes his way to freedom and hits his own Three Amigos. Now the Swan Dive can connect and the Crossface goes on, only for JBL to stack him up and grab the ropes for the pin and the title at 9:46.

Rating: B-. They were going with the idea of the power vs. the technical stuff here, though JBL was trying to get technical as well to surprise Benoit. That worked out well enough, though it was far from some instant classic. JBL needed a win like this after losing for so many months after dropping the title to Cena last year.

We recap Edge vs. Mick Foley. Edge was annoyed over losing the WWE Title so quickly and got a rematch, only for Foley, as the guest referee, to cost him the title. The beating and challenge were on, with Edge taunting Foley for not having the defining Wrestlemania moment (because headlining the show just doesn’t count). Foley was up for a hardcore match and Edge accepted, albeit with a Conchairto, in an attempt to draw out the old Foley, which is never a good idea.

Joey Styles joins commentary in JR’s face because he knows hardcore. Eh fair enough.

Mick Foley vs. Edge

Lita is here with Edge and anything goes, with falls counting anywhere. Foley comes to the ring with his (gray for some reason) flannel shirt buttoned up, which just seems rather ominous. Edge wastes no time in swinging a baseball bat at but Foley knocks it away and hits a faceplant. The Tree Of Woe elbow hits Edge but he’s right back up with a boot to the face. Lita starts throwing in the weapons, with a cookie sheet to the head rocking Foley again.

The spear hits Foley….but Edge is hurt. Foley gets up and opens his shirt to reveal barbed wire wrapped around his stomach (and the signature red flannel shirt), which makes the first few minutes all the more insane. Edge’s arm is cut open as Foley cuts the wire off and whips Edge’s back. Edge gets tied in the ropes and nothing good can come from this. Foley busts out the barbed wire baseball bat but Lita makes the save by jumping on his back.

That’s fine with Foley, who hits a Cactus Clothesline to take all of them to the floor. The running knee is countered with a toss into the steps though, followed by a more standard whip into said steps. It’s table time (of course), with Lawler saying you never know what’s underneath a WWE ring. Eh you kind of do, as it’s the same in almost every match. One heck of a head slam onto the ramp gives Edge two and they go back inside, where Edge covers Foley with lighter fluid (oh dear). Lawler: “What is Edge going to do here? Like Mick Foley on fire?” Styles: “YOU THINK???”

Foley gets in a quick piledriver to avoid the whole burning alive thing but Lita cuts off the Conchairto. Edge gets in a shot of his own but the near fall just makes him madder. Some barbed wire bat shots have Foley down, including one to the face to bust him open (you knew that was coming). A bulldog onto the bat gets two so now it’s time for thumbtacks. Naturally Edge gets dropped onto said tacks and it’s time for Mr. Socko, complete with some bonus barbed wire.

Lita gets the Mandible Claw as well and her mouth is busted for a great visual. The barbed wire bat hits Edge (who still has tacks in his back). A bat to the face busts Edge open and Lawler thinks it can’t get much worse. Then Foley gets the lighter fluid and Lawler is proven wrong. The table at ringside is covered in the fluid but Lita gets in a bat shot to Foley. The table is lit on fire and Edge spears Foley through the ropes and through the table for the pin at 14:38.

Rating: A. This is pretty much the only thing that is remembered from this show and that shouldn’t be a huge surprise. This was two people absolutely destroying each other, with Foley turning back the clock for another instant classic to boost someone else up the ranks. It was in the same vein as the 2000 Royal Rumble and Backlash 2004, which is some of the best work of Foley’s career. Excellent stuff here as it felt like a war, with Edge being taken to another level.

Edge and Lita leave, with Edge looking like he’s in shock. Foley gets a standing ovation on the way out, which is well deserved. Of note: Foley’s wife called him after the match…to check on Edge. Of course.

Sharmell begs Booker T. to not make her face the Boogeyman and asks why freaks follow Booker around. They then run into Paul Burchill, Ted DiBiase, Eugene, Snitsky, Fabulous Moolah, Mae Young (getting her feet kissed) and Goldust, naturally dressed as Oprah. Goldust says Booker needs to accept his inner freak to beat the Boogeyman and suggests where Booker put the worms. Booker panics and leaves.

Some fans won a sweepstakes from Snickers for good seats.

Celebrities are here.

Booker T./Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

Booker has the terrified Sharmell start in a funny bit. Thankfully Booker does jump Boogeyman from behind and hammers away in the corner. A kick to the face gives Booker two as the red smoke is making the arena look horrible. The Bookend gets two but Booker misses the ax kick and gets forearmed down (they didn’t seem to be on the same page there). The worms come out and Boogeyman has a snack so Sharmell comes in with Boogeyman’s staff. That earns her a wormy kiss so Sharmell runs off screaming, leaving Boogeyman to chokebomb Booker for the pin at 3:56.

Rating: D-. What do you want me to say here? This was a bad comedy match and nothing more than a way to give the fans a breather after the crazy hardcore match. Booker was injured coming in, but if this is the best they can do, just scrap the match.  Boogeyman is the kind of character who is there for little more than goofiness and having him beat Booker is a step too far. Nothing to this one, save for ruining the mat.

Post match, more worms are consumed.

We recap Mickie James challenging Trish Stratus for the Women’s Title. James debuted and was completely obsessed with Stratus, even kissing her under the mistletoe at Christmas. Stratus said it was too much and asked for time apart, which made James even more nuts, to the point where she kicked Stratus in the head and asked if Stratus loved her now. Then she kidnapped Stratus’ boyfriend and laid Stratus out at the same time. This was a heck of a story as the women’s division was dying for some fresh blood and James was all that and more.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

James is challenging and Lawler thinks she’s nuts. JR: “You’d date her. But wait she might be too old for you. She’s in her early 20s.” Lawler: “Can she cook?” They waste no time in trading the forearms before Stratus Thesz presses her down and hammers away. The big chops in the corner have James down and Stratus drops her down into the splits. They head outside and the Chick Kick only hits the post to give James a needed opening.

The bad leg is wrapped around the post and James is rather pleased. A dropkick to the leg keeps Stratus down as the fans are behind James, which has commentary confused. The half crab stays on the leg but James pulls the hair, which is enough to make her break it up (you don’t see that one too often). Stratus slugs away (the fans don’t approve) and hits a spinebuster as JR tries to explain that Stratus hasn’t done anything to deserve the booing.

James gets a boot up in the corner but has to block the Stratusphere, allowing her to send Stratus crashing down. A half crab is countered into a small package to give Stratus two and a powerbomb out of the corner gets the same. The Matrish only kind of works due to the leg so Stratus loads up Stratusfaction, which is broken up with a hand between the legs (James licking her hand is edited out). James kicks her in the head (the botched Stratusfaction to Stratus is edited out as well) and wins the title at 8:49. JR: “The nutjob has won the title!”

Rating: B. The bad botch and probably going too far lick of the hand being cut out didn’t hurt things, as this was still miles ahead of just about anything you would see in the women’s division. It wasn’t so much that the match was great, but rather that it was a match that came with a story rather than just random title defenses. James was such a breath of fresh air for the division and it’s no surprise that she was a star for so long.

The McMahons are way too pleased with Vince McMahon’s arms. Vince laughs at the idea of Shawn Michaels telling him to pray, but says it’s time for their first family prayer. Vince makes it clear that he and God don’t like each other because Vince has defied every law God has ever had. He’s been successful anyway and brags about his physique (Stephanie gives him a look) before promising to send Michaels down to the fiery depths.

We recap Mark Henry vs. Undertaker. Henry cost Undertaker the World Title and injured him, meaning it’s time for revenge.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

It’s a casket match and Henry is Undertaker’s latest monster foe who isn’t afraid of the dark. Cole goes over the Undertaker’s Wrestlemania victims and it’s kind of amazing to think of how many more big names he would take out over the years. Henry jumps him at the end of the entrance (to be fair, Undertaker was taking his sweet time) but Undertaker gets a boot up in the corner.

Some running clotheslines don’t put Henry down but he drops Undertaker with a single shot. They go outside, where Undertaker sends him into the steps for a breather. Henry rams him in even harder though and they head back inside, where Old School is broken up. The casket is opened up but Undertaker isn’t about to go in (good advice). Back up and Undertaker kicks away at the arm, setting up Old School.

A Downward Spiral is blocked though and they fight down into the casket. Henry hammers him down but Undertaker grabs him by the throat to get up. Back in and the World’s Strongest Slam connects but the powers of I’m Facing The Undertaker stupidity take over, with Henry going up to hammer away. The Last Ride brings Henry back down and Undertaker throws him outside for the big dive. Back in and the Tombstone connects, which is enough to finish Henry off at 9:27.

Rating: C. It was an ok fight but Henry might as well have been dubbed “The Designated Victim” here as it never felt like Undertaker was in any danger. They had to do something with Undertaker but there was no drama here as Undertaker beating Henry was never in doubt. It’s not a terrible or even bad match, but this was definitely on the lower end of the Streak matches.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon. Late last year, McMahon decided it was all about him (for a change of pace) and fired a bunch of people. Then he brought up the Montreal Screwjob, which made Michaels tell McMahon to grow up already. Therefore, it was time to destroy Michaels for good, setting up a showdown.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

No holds barred. Michaels starts fast and jumps McMahon on the floor. McMahon is sent over the announcers’ table and onto JR, allowing Michaels to choke away. Michaels busts a framed photo of McMahon’s Muscle & Fitness magazine cover over McMahon’s head (you knew that was coming) so here is the Spirit Squad (you knew they were coming) to jump Michaels for a breather.

The big beatdown is on but Michaels fights back with their megaphone to clear them out without much trouble. That’s enough of a distraction for McMahon to hit a clothesline though and we slow back down. McMahon hits some shoulders to the ribs in the corner, followed by some whips with a belt. Delusions of grandeur make McMahon try his own superkick, which is easily blocked. Now Michaels gets to whip away with the belt and drops the top rope elbow.

Sweet Chin Music is loaded up but here is Shane McMahon to hit Michaels with a kendo stick as this keeps going. The beating lets Vince take down his pants but Michaels fights back and shoves Shane’s face in, with Vince of course thinking it’s great. Shane is knocked to the floor and handcuffed to the ropes in a smart move. The key is thrown into the crowd and Michaels beats on Shane with the kendo stick.

Back in and Michaels caves Vince’s head in with a chair (there’s some blood) but Michaels won’t throw the superkick. Instead it’s time for a ladder, which bounces off of Vince’s head to draw even more blood. Michaels still won’t throw the superkick though as Vince collapses. Instead Michaels grabs a table and some trashcans. After putting the trashcan on Vince and Vince on the table, Michaels climbs the big ladder and drops a big elbow. Michaels picks him up, says watch this, and finally (and I do mean FINALLY) hits the superkick for the win at 18:24.

Rating: D+. This was WAY too long, with the match being pretty much over about halfway through the thing. So much of the match was spent with Vince mostly destroyed and Michaels just finding more weapons. They could have done this in far less time as it felt more like someone blowing off steam in a video game for most of the match.

Vince flips Michaels off because that is his nature.

We recap Kurt Angle defending the Smackdown World Title against Rey Mysterio and Randy Orton. Mysterio won the Royal Rumble in Eddie Guerrero’s memory, last eliminating Orton. That didn’t sit well with Orton, who talked Mysterio into putting up his title shot, only for Mysterio to lose. Mysterio was kept in the match anyway, as this is all about Eddie’s memory. Oh yeah and Angle is there too. That’s how third wheel he felt here, and there wasn’t much that could be done to change it as this is all about Eddie/Rey. This gets Shinedown’s I Dare You, which helps a lot.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending and Mysterio gets played to the ring live by POD. Orton decks Angle with the belt before the bell before dropkicking Mysterio out of the air for two. Back in and Angle snaps off the German suplexes on Orton before suplexing both of them at once (with Mysterio FLYING).

Orton is back up with his backbreaker to Angle, who shrugs it off and hits a belly to belly. A pop up super hurricanrana brings Orton down for two and Mysterio kicks Angle in the head for the same. Mysterio sends Angle into the ropes but the 619 is cut off. The ankle lock goes on but Orton cuts off the referee, who doesn’t see Mysterio tap. With that broken up, Angle snaps off more suplexes and ankle locks Orton for a change. This time Mysterio grabs the referee so Orton’s tap is missed too. Well they’re certainly making Angle look strong, which makes sense as he’s in Wrestling Machine mode here.

Back up and Mysterio is sent into the post but Orton grabs the RKO on Angle for a delayed two. Orton goes up and is promptly belly to belly superplexed right back down in one of Angle’s better signature spots. Mysterio can’t quite hit a 619 around the post but settles for a kick to the head (eh fair enough) for two on Angle. Orton drops Mysterio again but gets Angle Slammed for two. Mysterio counters the Angle Slam with an armdrag and hits the 619 to Orton. The West Coast Pop pins Orton to make Mysterio champion at 9:18.

Rating: B-. It was mostly action packed, but I could have gone with a good bit more time to pack that action into here. Mysterio winning the title was a feel good moment, despite not being the biggest surprise, as the fans would have lost if it Eddie didn’t get his big tribute. It’s a good match, but dang they felt rushed out there and that’s not good to see. And then Mysterio would go on to have an all time disaster of a title reign, mainly because he was put in there against giant who kept crushing him, because reasons.

Post match Chavo and Vickie Guerrero come out to celebrate with Mysterio in a nice moment.

We look at John Cena and HHH in the locker room for a long time. Cena looks at the title while HHH gets a massage. JR gives a rather detailed explanation about how Cena is a rebel and this is a traditionalist town so HHH will likely get cheered no matter what.

Candice Michelle vs. Torrie Wilson

Playboy Pillow Fight, which is an excuse for the two of them to be in limited clothing. There is a bed and a bunch of pillows with the Playboy logo everywhere because that’s the whole point. Wilson brings her dog (he’s wearing a top hat) and they starts the brawl as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled. A suplex drops Michelle and a backdrop puts her onto the bed.

The dog is brought in as they fight out to the floor, only to come back in so Michelle can lose her gown. Michelle kicks her away and does the Go Daddy dance before dropping a middle rope elbow onto Wilson (on the bed). With nothing else working, Michelle grabs a pair of scissors to cut off Wilson’s dress. An issue of Playboy is rubbed into Wilson’s face, which inspires her to grab a rollup for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: F. Yeah what else were you expecting? This was about the women being out there and showing off how they looked. It wasn’t good and it went FAR longer than it needed to, with the fans letting them know what they thought. I get the appeal, but I’m also rather glad that we’ve moved WAY beyond this kind of stuff.

We look at the Wrestlemania press conference, which is pretty much the hype video for Cena vs. HHH. Cena is the rebel champion and HHH is the old school guy who wants the title back. This is the big dream match for Raw but it only feels so important.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. HHH

HHH is challenging and does the Conan the Barbarian entrance, rising up from the stage on his throne with the ridiculously big sledgehammer. Cena’s entrance on the other hand features a newsreel about the Great Depression and a bunch of machine gun toting goons hanging on an old gangster car, one of whom is infamously better known as CM Punk. Cena has his own gun and gets to fire, which at least drowns out some of the rather loud booing.

We get going, with JR immediately explaining that Cena is going to be booed no matter what. HHH wins an early wrestle off and grabs a hammerlock before kicking Cena away. An early FU attempt (the fans are NOT happy) is broken up and HHH punches him in the face, earning a standing ovation. Cena is sent outside but comes back in to hammer away in the corner for his first real offense. Some whips into the corner set up the release fisherman’s suplex and Cena grabs the chinlock. They go to the floor, where Cena backdrops him onto the ramp for a loud crash.

Back up and HHH sends Cena into the steps to take right back over. Cena fights back but a facebuster and hard clothesline get some of the loudest reactions HHH has ever received. Some neckbreakers give HHH some twos and the chinlock goes on to keep Cena down. Cena eventually fights up and hits that hard clothesline that he uses when he needs a big spot. The clothesline comeback sets up a powerslam and Cena initiates the finishing sequence.

That’s countered into a spinebuster to give HHH two but the sleeper is quickly broken up. The STFU goes on but HHH dives over to the ropes for the break. The FU is broken up as well and HHH hits Cena, and the referee, low in the corner. HHH brings in the sledgehammer and knocks Cena lukewarm for a pretty delayed two (the fans are ticked off again). Cena backdrops out of the Pedigree and gets two off the FU, leaving Cena stunned. Cena’s high crossbody misses but he pulls HHH into the STFU for two arm drops. HHH hangs on….and then taps out completely clean to retain the title at 22:02.

Rating: B. It took some time to get going but what matters the most is that Cena got a clean win over the other big name in the middle of the ring in the main event of Wrestlemania. That’s what HHH needed to do here and Cena gets one of the biggest boosts of his career. It also happens to be a very rather good title match and pretty worthy of the main event of Wrestlemania.

The big highlight package wraps up the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Yeah it’s fine. That’s always been the reaction to this show and that’s still the case here. There are definitely good parts, with the main event, most of the Women’s Title match and Edge vs. Foley being worth a look, but the problem is, outside of Edge vs. Foley, nothing is really memorable. It came and went with very little changing, as even Mysterio winning the title felt rushed. The show is absolutely not bad, but it’s forgettable, and that’s not what Wrestlemania is supposed to be.

Ratings Comparison

Pre-Show Battle Royal
Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2020 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C-

Big Show/Kane vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: D+
2020 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C

Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Ric Flair vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2020 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B-

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: D+
2020 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B-

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Original: A
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2020 Redo: A
2025 Redo: A

Boogeyman vs. Booker T/Sharmell

Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F
2020 Redo: F
2025 Redo: D-

Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Original: B
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: B-
2020 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D-
2020 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: D
2020 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: D+

Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C+
2020 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B-

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F
2020 Redo: D-
2025 Redo: F

HHH vs. John Cena

Original: A-
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C
2020 Redo: A-
2025 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C-
2020 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B-

As usual, it’s the same issues, with so much of this show just being forgettable.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 6, 2008
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with No Mercy and the big story around here is that Chris Jericho defeated Shawn Michaels in an outstanding ladder match to retain the World Title. That should wrap up their feud for good as we move on to Cyber Sunday. Jericho is going to need a fresh challenger and as luck would have it, Batista became #1 contender last night. Let’s get to it.

Here is No Mercy if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Chris Jericho to get things going. Jericho talks about how Mike Adamle will not be here tonight due to a meeting with the McMahons, so Jericho is in charge tonight. He’s still sore from last night and has a banged up tooth, which he has to live with for the rest of his life. Every time he sees that, he will think of Shawn Michaels, which ironically will make him smile. Jericho knows Michaels is here tonight and wants revenge, so tonight Michaels can face Lance Cade, anything goes. Now you have to admit that he is the best in the world, but here is Batista to interrupt.

Batista tells him to pick the number of days until their title match. It could be seven days, fourteen days, or two-day. Jericho doesn’t back down because he knows he could beat Batista, who needs to get out of this ring right now. Batista laughs that off and plants him with a spinebuster. Simple and to the point here and it worked fine.

During the break, Jericho announced that Batista will have to beat JBL again tonight to remain #1 contender. As a bonus, Jericho himself will be guest referee.

Mickie James/Jamie Noble vs. Beth Phoenix/Santino Marella

William Regal and Layla are at ringside. Before the match, Marella says he is trying to become more American, so he has adopted a new NBA team: the Oklahoma City Thunder, which is the recently departed Seattle Super Sonics. Eh it’s one of those classic heel moves that always works.

James elbows Phoenix in the face to start and it’s off to the men, with Noble kicking away in the corner. Everything breaks down and James dropkicks Phoenix out to the floor, leaving Noble to grab a sunset flip for two. We settle back down and Phoenix grabs Noble from the apron, allowing Marella to roll him up for the fast win.

Post match Noble and Regal get in a fight, likely setting up another mixed tag.

Shawn Michaels is tired, sore and in pain and he knows Chris Jericho feels the same. Lance Cade is supposed to take Michaels out but tonight Michaels is going to show that he still has gas in the tank.

Kofi Kingston vs. Ted DiBiase Jr.

Cody Rhodes and Manu are here with DiBiase so here is CM Punk to even things up a bit. Kingston leapfrogs him a few times before hitting a jumping back elbow. DiBiase is right back with a knockdown of his own and we hit the quickly broken chinlock. Back up and Kingston strikes away, including the jumping dropkick. Manu’s distraction doesn’t work though as Kingston knocks him down and gives DiBiase the Russian legsweep. Punk goes after a distraction Rhodes but DiBiase grabs a Million Dollar Dream into a Russian legsweep of his own for the fast win.

Chris Jericho talks to Randy Orton and says tonight, he’s going to work.

Video on John Cena, who is working on getting better after neck surgery.

Kane, Mark Henry and Tony Atlas have no interest in meeting Dolph Ziggler.

Rey Mysterio/Kane vs. Matt Hardy/Rey Mysterio

Tony Atlas is here with the villains. Mysterio slugs away at Kane to start but can’t get very far. Instead he manages to get Kane into the corner so Hardy can help with the mon…well the taller monster, but Kane cuts that off rather quickly. Henry tries to come in but gets taken down by the leg, with Hardy and Mysterio hitting a double dropkick.

We take a break and come back with Hardy in trouble but he gets away for the tag to Mysterio. That means the pace can pick up, including a springboard legdrop to Henry. Kane gets in a cheap shot from the apron though and comes in to stomp away in the corner. Henry’s headbutt drops Mysterio again but Kane misses his top rope clothesline. Hardy comes back in as everything breaks down, with Mysterio hitting a 619 to Kane and Hardy going up top. Henry gets creative by throwing Mysterio at the ropes though, knocking Mysterio into the chokeslam to give Kane the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty run of the mill power vs. speed match here and it worked about as well as usual. If nothing else, it was nice to see a pair of feuds tied together to give us something fresh. Henry is probably coming after Hardy one more time and it’s pretty clear Mysterio vs. Kane isn’t done so this was a nice use of time.

Shawn Michaels vs. Lance Cade

No DQ and Cade actually drops him with an early clothesline. They go outside with Cade hammering him down some more and loading up a table. Michaels gets put through it as this is quite the one sided beating thus far. Cade grabs a chair but Michaels takes him down and hammers away. A chair shot to the head drops Cade and Michaels just unloads on him with the chair for the pin.

Post match Michaels beats on Cade with the chair even more, much to the fans’ delight.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring and announces that the fans will get to face Santino Marella for the Intercontinental Title at Cyber Sunday. You can pick from Roddy Piper, Goldust or the Honky Tonk Man. Throwing Piper in there does offer a bit of a mystery winner, as otherwise this should be Honky Tonk Man in a walk.

Here is the Great Khali to interrupt Lilian Garcia. Runjin Singh says Khali is not happy with Jackass’ Johnny Knoxville (this isn’t where I saw this going). We see a clip from an interview between Knoxville and Khali, with Knoxville asking about the proportions of a certain part of Khali’s anatomy. This results in Khali storming off and then inviting Knoxville to Raw next week. To show that he’s a fun loving guy, we get the Khali Kiss Cam, with Khali kissing Garcia, who isn’t sure what to think.

Here is Jillian Hall to sing some Nirvana, which doesn’t go well.

Jillian Hall vs. Kelly Kelly

Miz and John Morrison and Cryme Tyme are on commentary for a lot of bickering. Kelly gets sent to the apron to start and is knocked outside just as fast. Hall rams her into the apron as Cole cannot get a word in as the other four have not stopped arguing. Back in and Hall throws her down by the hair as commentary is throwing out Chris Jericho related insults. Miz says something about a bowl of chili as Hall works on a backbreaker. Lawler FINALLY gets in a word and talks about Hall beating on Kelly but the argument is right back on. Kelly gets a victory roll for the pin.

Rating: C. Ok, so the match was absolutely nothing, but the commentary was a blast, as it was basically “how long can you guys argue without taking a breath?”. It almost turned into a game as they just kept going and it wound up being really funny. This was totally different than what you usually get around here and it was really fun as a result.

Video on John Cena’s recovery from surgery. The doctor was astounded at how he recovered, including going to the arena the day of the operation. Yeah Cena is not normal.

Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

For the #1 contendership and Chris Jericho is guest referee. Actually hold on as we also have William Regal as guest timekeeper and Randy Orton is guest commentator. Batista powers JBL into the corner to start and runs him over with a shoulder for a rather delayed one. A shinbreaker of all things sets up the Figure Four and JBL reaches for the rope…with a brief touch counting as a break.

JBL is back up to hammer away in the corner and a big clothesline gets (a somewhat slow) two. Batista is back up with a suplex but this time Jericho won’t even count. That earns Jericho a run to the floor, allowing Regal to jump Batista from behind. Back in and JBL grabs a full nelson and then a sleeper, with Batista jawbreaking his way to freedom. The running shoulder in the corner is tripped down by Jericho so Batista hits a spinebuster on JBL. Regal and Orton try to come in and it’s a triple spear to take the villains down. Cue Mike Adamle to send another referee down so the Batista Bomb can give Batista the pin.

Rating: C. I mean, it was better when Vince Russo turned it into a thing, but JBL isn’t quite Mick Foley and while Batista is a big star, he isn’t Austin. At the same time, it didn’t help that they were rushing through things and the villains only interfered so much. It’s a good idea, but they did the Cliff Notes version here and that didn’t quite work.

Post match Adamle says Batista gets his title shot at Cyber Sunday, with the fans getting to pick the guest referee. The choices are Randy Orton, Shawn Michaels or Steve Austin, meaning Jericho knows he’s in trouble to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They set up the big title match at Cyber Sunday and that worked well, though there was only so much to be gained with the stuff they got ready. Jericho vs. Batista is a fresh match, but it’s a pretty big step down from the awesome Jericho vs. Michaels feud. The rest of the show was pretty much the run of the mill stuff Raw has been doing recently, meaning this show was about as mediocre as it gets.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 29, 2008
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last Raw before No Mercy and hopefully that means a lot more from Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels. The two of them have done some great stuff lately and are carrying the show on their backs. That’s about all there is going on around here and that can make for a tedious watch. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Batista vs. Santino Marella

Non-title and Beth Phoenix is here with Marella. Before the match, Marella wants the Honk-A-Meter, which shows that he’s 58 weeks behind Honky Tonk Man’s record. He also has the Brain Barometer, which shows he has ten trillion brain cells compared to Batista’s 12. Shoulders in the corner, spinebuster, Batista Bomb finish in less than a minute.

Post match Batista yells at Phoenix but JBL runs in to give him the Clothesline.

Shawn Michaels, who is teaming with a mystery partner tonight, says Chris Jericho has six days left to be World Heavyweight Champion. As for tonight, how about he teams up with a Real American? A Texas Rattlesnake? Or the Best There Is, The Best There Was And The Best There Ever Will Be? Ok Michaels knows that last one is too far so he’ll settle for someone who likes him.

Miz vs. JTG

Their respective partners are here too. After a quick look at the Dirt Sheet, which featured an interview with Cryme Tyme’s “parents”, Miz drives JTG into the corner to start but gets cut off by a flying shoulder. An uppercut staggers Miz again but he’s back with the running corner clothesline. A regular clothesline drops JTG again, though he’s right back with a jumping over the back Fameasser for two. John Morrison offers a distraction so Shad Gaspard cuts him off, which allows Miz to grab the Reality Check for the pin.

Rating: C. Miz is at the point where he just needs reps, as he’s so young in his career. The good thing is that you can see the development coming along each week, as he’s having competent matches. That’s a long way to come in such a short amount of time and his chemistry with Morrison makes it even better.

Jamie Noble goes up to Jillian Hall and insults her singing before asking “sweet cheeks” to be his partner tonight. She sings a no but gets to meet Dolph Ziggler, who doesn’t impress her.

Paul Burchill/Katie Lea vs. Jamie Noble/???

William Regal and Layla come out to watch and Noble actually has a partner in the form of….Mickie James. Yeah that works. Burchill hammers Noble down to start and hands it off to Katie, who can beat on Noble as well as this is an intergender match. That doesn’t last long as James comes in and gets caught with a double arm crank. James fights up just as quickly and hands it back to Noble, who shouts at Regal before missile dropkicking Burchill. A cross armbreaker gives Noble the fast submission.

Rating: C. The ending was a nice surprise as Noble seems to be turning to the good side. Granted he needs to work on his ability to speak to others but at least the stuff in the ring is working. The cross armbreaker is a good addition, as it certainly looks devastating enough. I can’t imagine he survives the showdown with Regal, but at least Noble is doing something well.

Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase and Manu find Kane (their partner tonight), with Rhodes saying that since Kane is Paul Bearer’s son, he’s basically a second generation star. That means they can work together, but Kane would rather massacre Rey Mysterio no matter who is on his side. Stay out of his way or he’ll end all of them.

We look back at last week, when Lance Cade beat Shawn Michaels, albeit thanks to a Chris Jericho distraction.

Here is Cade to brag about his win and say that Jericho is just better than Michaels. He doesn’t care who Michaels has as a partner tonight either.

Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase/Manu/Kane vs. CM Punk/Kofi Kingston/Rey Mysterio/Evan Bourne

Manu elbows Bourne in the face to start but Bourne slips out of a suplex attempt and brings in Mysterio. Everything breaks down early, with Punk and Kingston hitting stereo dives, followed by another dive from Mysterio as we take an early break. We come back with Bourne fighting out of Rhodes’ chinlock but Manu is in to keep Bourne down. That doesn’t last long though as Bourne is up for the tag off to Punk, who comes in with a clothesline.

Rhodes takes him down to start in on the knee though, with Kane coming in to just stomp on him. DiBiase, who seems to get the idea of a game plan, is back on the leg, followed by Rhodes doing the same. Kane comes in and gets enziguried but boots Mysterio off the apron. It doesn’t make much of a difference though as it’s Kingston getting the tag to start cleaning house. Kingston dives at Kane though and gets caught in the chokeslam for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty basic match here but it’s nice to see Kane going into monster mode to win in the end. He knows how to do that style well enough and Kingston is expendable enough to take a loss. That’s the point in putting so many people in this match as it gave them some options for taking the fall and it went well enough.

Here is Mike Adamle for a chat. Earlier tonight, Kane requested something from him and since he won, he gets his request: if Kane wins at No Mercy, Rey Mysterio will have to unmask. This brings out Randy Orton of all people to interrupt and he mocks Adamle for being Shane McMahon’s lackey. Adamle needs to re-suspend CM Punk right now because the reality is Adamle needs Orton on his side. He’s going to wreck everyone when he gets back but here is JBL to interrupt.

JBL complains about losing money on his stock market this week but he has a lot to lose. Then he’ll become #1 contender at No Mercy and move on to win the World Title. Orton is always living in the past because he’s the hottest commodity since ethanol. Cue Batista behind JBL, who realizes what’s waiting on him and turns around to eat the spear (well that was dumb). Batista promises to make JBL’s week worse at No Mercy.

Santino Marella is on the phone and gets nervous when he runs into Beth Phoenix. Apparently it was a sick kid named uh, Frankie! Phoenix doesn’t want him out there with her this week because she’s bad luck. Marella says it’s a good thing he doesn’t have a Moolah Meter, because Phoenix is trailing Moolah by about twenty two years. Phoenix is annoyed and leaves, with Marella thinking it was a “female problem”.

Kelly Kelly/Candice Michelle vs. Beth Phoenix/Jillian Hall

Phoenix and Michelle start things off but Kelly quickly comes in for a double dropkick. It’s off to Hall, who manages to pull Michelle face first down in the corner. Phoenix’s backbreaker gets two and we hit the chinlock for a bit. Hall comes back in and takes too long cartwheeling, allowing Michelle to get her boots up in the corner. It’s back to Kelly for the screaming headscissors as everything breaks down. Kelly’s rollup (how she won last week) is countered into the Glam Slam for the dominant pin.

Rating: C+. They did well enough here as you can tell the women are working hard to improve. It’s still not exactly great, but they’re looking confident in the stuff they’re doing. Phoenix is of course still miles ahead of the other three, but at least she’s getting something a bit better to work with over time. Nice quick match here.

Deuce vs. Great Charli

Runjin Singh is here with Charli, who yells in some mock Punjab about the greatness of…curry. Charli tells Deuce to come at him but the chop doesn’t do much. Instead Deuce knocks him down but dives into a raised boot. Charlie’s wig comes off and a top rope clothesline finishes Deuce quick.

Post match the real Great Khali comes out to wreck Charli.

We hype up the Smackdown move to MyNetworkTV.

No Mercy rundown.

Chris Jericho/Lance Cade vs. Shawn Michaels/???

Before the reveal, Jericho complains about being wished good luck in his match against Michaels at No Mercy because he’s better than Michaels could ever be. We hear about various things Jericho plans on doing to Michaels with the ladder, with Cade using a ladder to demonstrate. After a break, the partner is….HHH. Well who else was it going to be? Funny bit as Michaels runs to the back and comes back out in a DX shirt and hat because he knows his merchandise.

HHH and Jericho start things off with Jericho getting taken down, meaning it’s already off to Cade. That’s fine with HHH, who takes him down in a hurry, allowing the tag to Michaels to go after Jericho. Michaels gets caught in the wrong corner though and Jericho pulls him down into a chinlock. With that not getting him anywhere, Jericho tries and misses the Lionsault, allowing the double tags to HHH and Cade. The spinebuster puts Cade down but Jericho is in with the Codebreaker to HHH. Jericho and Cade beat on Michaels so much that it’s a DQ.

Rating: C+. Well it was going to be this or Cade losing so they didn’t have a ton of options. It’s not like HHH or one of the World Title participants are going to lose less than a week before the pay per view. At least they didn’t let this go long, as there wasn’t much of a point to doing anything beyond what they did here.

Post match Jericho grabs the ladder but HHH is back in with the sledgehammer to Cade so Michaels can splash him off the ladder. DX stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was about getting ready for No Mercy, which, at least on the Raw side, is a one match show. Does anyone really care about Batista vs. JBL for a future title shot? Or pretty much anything else that Raw is offering? There isn’t much you can do to build towards a one match half show but they managed to make it work well enough here. Not a great show, but Jericho and Michaels should be great.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 15, 2008
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re on the way to No Mercy and that means it’s time to start putting the card together. In this case that means figuring out what is coming, though the Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels feud should give you a pretty good idea. First though, Jericho has to get through CM Punk in a steel cage. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The cage is lowered.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is defending in a cage with pinfall, submission or escape to win. Punk hammers away to start fast and whips Jericho into the corner, allowing Jericho to try a quick escape. That’s immediately cut off so Punk goes up, with Jericho pulling him back down. The running knee and bulldog look to set up the GTS but Jericho makes the rope. Punk is fine enough to send him into the cage and we take a break.

We come back with Jericho holding an ankle lock of all things before switching to the Walls. Punk’s crawl gets his hands and a leg out of the cage but Jericho pulls him back in and slams the door on Punk’s head. The Lionsault hits a raised knee though and Punk kicks him down, only to miss a running knee in the corner.

They fight onto the top of the cage and then crash back down to give Punk two. Jericho sends him into the cage and goes up, with Punk grabbing an electric chair for the big crash back down. Punk goes for the door but Jericho dives at him and winds up on the apron. A headbutt staggers Jericho…and he falls out to retain the title in a bit of a call back to Muraco vs. Snuka.

Rating: B. Good, hard hitting fight here as Jericho escapes again, with Punk basically beating himself. It’s a clever way to keep both of them going, as Punk got his rematch and didn’t so much get beaten as much as Jericho got lucky. At the same time, Jericho gets to move on, likely to his next showdown with Shawn Michaels.

Batista is watching.

Mike Adamle is talking to Kelly Kelly in the back when some annoying guy comes in to introduce himself. Dolph Ziggler or something. With that out of the way, Chris Jericho comes in and Adamle says it’s time to focus on No Mercy. Jericho doesn’t like that and says Adamle needs to take care of him better, even offering to explain it in his office.

Kane is in a mask but explains that he had to remove it. That was for all of the people but it got him nothing. Now people ridicule him and he doesn’t like that. He wants to hurt Rey Mysterio, who doesn’t have the courage to unmask. Everyone wears a mask because they don’t like themselves. When he attacked Mysterio, he was attacking everyone. Evan Bourne comes in and says he wants to see Mysterio beat Kane. That doesn’t seem to bother Kane, who laughs a lot.

Candice Michelle vs. Jillian Hall

Hall sings some Elvis on her way to the ring and after the break, cranking up the shrieking extra high this week. Beth Phoenix is here to watch as well. Michelle grabs a quickly broken headlock to start and is promptly planted hard. Hall pulls on the hair to keep Michelle down and we hit the full nelson. Michelle fights up and jumps over her in the corner, hitting a kind of Edge-O-Matic (nice) for two. The Candywrapper finishes Hall off.

Rating: C-. The Edge-O-Matic was nice and you can see that Michelle is trying, but it’s still only getting her so far. I’ll certainly take someone at least trying to get better though and Michelle is doing just that, which is partially why she’s getting the attention. WWE is trying to find someone new for the women’s division so they might as well try it with Michelle.

Post match Phoenix comes after Michelle and gets dropkicked.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Tommy Dreamer

JBL slams him down and drops an elbow, followed by a big boot. Dreamer gets a boot of his own up in the corner and grabs a neckbreaker, only to walk into the Clothesline From JBL for the fast pin.

Post match JBL says he isn’t leaving the ring until he talks to Mike Adamle. Post break JBL is still waiting and explaining that he should be #1 contender but gets Randy Orton instead. Orton talks about his recent champions evaluation, which is why he cost CM Punk the World Title. JBL isn’t much of an upgrade, though Orton’s shoulder is almost better and he’s coming for the title. Then there will be a champion on Raw with some credibility…so cue Santino Marella and Beth Phoenix.

Marella mocks Orton for being hurt all the time, just like his dad. On the other hand, Marella’s father is always healthy! Except for having herpes. Orton: “You expect me to respond to that?” JBL wants an apology from Orton because JBL knocked Batista out cold with one shot last week. Cue Batista to interrupt, quoting Barack Obama to suggest that Phoenix is a pig. Marella says Phoenix squeals but Batista promises to beat all of them up. Marella: “Aren’t you forgetting someone?”

Batista apologizes and offers Phoenix a title shot when he gets the belt back too. Mike Adamle pops up on screen to say he’ll make his official decision on a #1 contender later tonight. Batista takes out JBL and Marella but Phoenix slaps him in the face. That earns her a spinebuster onto Marella

In the back, Orton passes Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase and Manu, with some glares being exchanged.

Kofi Kingston/Jerry Lawler/Charlie Haas vs. Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase/Manu

Haas is Jim Ross this week so naturally he’s fat, talks about football, and pitches barbecue sauce. And yes, the fans are quiet for the dumb joke. Kingston headlocks Manu to start before slipping out of a slam and hitting a dropkick. Rhodes comes in and gets dragged into the corner for the tag to Lawler (the fans still like him), who fires off some dropkicks.

Rhodes knocks him down though and grabs the chinlock, only for Lawler to fight up and bring Haas in for some snap jabs. Everything breaks down and Haas hits a splash as everything breaks down. DiBiase avoids a charge into the corner and the cobra clutch Russian legsweep finishes fast.

Rating: C-. Hey did you know that WWE likes to make fun of Jim Ross every single chance they get? It’s the most one note joke imaginable in this situation and that’s not something you want to see. Well unless you’re Vince McMahon of course, which is why this kept happening. The match was just a way to get Lawler on the show, which was fine, though the fans’ lack of a response to Haas as Ross told you all you needed to know.

Smackdown Rebound.

JBL comes in to see Chris Jericho, who cuts him off and brings up JBL costing him the World Title last year. Jericho brings up the impending stock market crash and brags about being the champion. No, he won’t put a good word in for JBL to get the title shot.

Jamie Noble vs. Paul Burchill

Katie Lea is here with Burchill. Noble stomps him down to start fast but gets uppercutted into the corner. Back up and Noble slingshots into a cross armbreaker for the fast tap.

Post match Layla comes out to apologize for last week. She’s so sorry for taking that long to get away from Noble, because now she has found a man worthy of her. This brings out William Regal, who says Layla wanted nobility rather than Noble.

Lance Cade is meeting with Mike Adamle when Batista comes in, wanting to be #1 contender. Cade says Batista isn’t #1 contender and gets slammed into a wall.

Kane vs. Rey Mysterio

Kane throws him into the corner for a right hand to start before pulling a springboard hurricanrana out of the air. Mysterio slips out but is quickly choked on the rope to stop that just as fast. We take an early break and come back with Mysterio fighting out of a chinlock The elbow misses for Kane and Mysterio hammers away in the corner, only to be sent back first into the post.

Kane stomps him down in the corner but misses a charge, allowing Mysterio to hit the sitout bulldog. Mysterio sends him into the corner and hits the enziguri to set up the 619. That’s cut off with a hard clothesline and Kane stomps away in the corner….for the DQ, as Mysterio manages to survive.

Rating: C. This wasn’t some big epic showdown but it wasn’t supposed to be. What matters is having Mysterio back in the ring so he can fight back against Kane, though he’s probably going to need some help. For now though, it’s the start of what will likely be a bigger story, as WWE would never pull the plug on Kane being a monster or anything.

Post match Kane stays on Mysterio until Evan Bourne runs in for the save.

Dolph Ziggler introduces himself to Chris Jericho and Lance Cade but only gets a handshake from the latter.

Here are Jericho and Cade in the arena for the announcement of the next #1 contender. Jericho talks about how neither JBL nor Batista are worthy of a title shot, so they should face off at No Mercy and he gets the winner immediately thereafter. That’s two matches for one of them but that’s how he won the title at Unforgiven. Cue Mike Adamle to say he thinks that’s fair and they will have a #1 contenders match and will face the champion in the future.

Jericho asks what he means by “the champion” because he’ll be the champion. Actually hang on though, as there is someone else who has pitched a title shot, which he will receive at No Mercy. Cue Shawn Michaels, who says they have fought in a variety of matches, so what else can they do to each other? There is one more that he can do and it will allow him to hurt Jericho and win the title. He asks some people to help him out so they bring in a ladder, with Michaels climbing up to make the match official to end the show. Yeah I’d say that works.

Overall Rating: C+. The whole point of this show was setting up a title match at No Mercy and while Michaels was the fairly obvious pick, they did a nice job of setting him up as something of a surprise at the end. Throwing in the ladder matkes it even better and it should be a heck of a match. The rest of the show was the hit and miss stuff you expect from Raw, but the cage match and closing segments made it work well enough.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 8, 2008
Location: Allen County War Memorial Coliseum, Fort Wayne, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Unforgiven and the big story on the Raw side is that Chris Jericho jumped into the Scramble match but also won the World Title. That isn’t going to sit well with a lot of people, including Shawn Michaels, who beat him last night. CM Punk never made it into the match as Randy Orton kicked him in the head, which is going to require some revenge. Let’s get to it.

Here is Unforgiven if you need a recap.

Here is Chris Jericho to get things going and he is rather pleased with himself. Last night, he faced a hypocrite named Shawn Michaels. Jericho takes his shirt off to show what Michaels did to him last night. It makes Michaels a hypocrite to have whipped Jericho like a dog and the people loved every second. What did Michaels even win though? It was an unsanctioned match so Michaels won nothing, but Jericho won something.

Last night, Jericho could barely stand up but he took CM Punk’s place and won the title. Batista was so close to winning the title but Jericho outsmarted him. Cue Mike Adamle, who says that Jericho stepped up to the plate last night, but Punk didn’t lose the title either. Punk isn’t here tonight, but he’ll get his rematch for the title next week in a cage. As for tonight, Jericho can face Batista.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Mickie James

James is challenging and Candice Michelle is at ringside. Phoenix wastes no time in taking her outside for a ram into the post before working on the arm back inside. A lifting armbar is countered though as James sits on Phoenix’s shoulders, followed by a neckbreaker. The Thesz press lets James hammer away but they seem to mistime something in the corner. Phoenix grabs a quick Alabama slam to retain.

Rating: C. There is only so much that can be done here, as they didn’t have much time. Phoenix using something other than a Glam Slam for the win was a nice change of pace though, as it gave a bit of a surprise. James losing clean isn’t a good sign though, as there isn’t much of a shot for her to get the title back anytime soon.

Phoenix and Michelle stare each other down post match.

Layla and Jamie Noble are in the back, with Noble begging her to be in his corner tonight. Layla calls that a surprise but he has a real surprise for her: Jillian Hall singing “Layla”. That doesn’t go so well, but Layla will be out there anyway. Promises of Olive Garden are made.

Jamie Noble vs. William Regal

Layla is here with Noble. Regal hammers away in the corner to start but gets taken down by a quick headscissors. That doesn’t work for Regal, who knocks him down and drops some knees, which have Layla cringing. Another knee to the head gets two but Noble is back up with a dropkick. That earns him a running knee to the head to give Regal a quick win.

Post match Regal says this kind of thing only happens in fairy tales and then leaves with Layla, who does look back at Noble on the way out.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Charlie Haas

This week, Haas is dressed as….JBL, meaning he’s in the trunk of JBL’s limo. Haas talks about being a big Texas blowhard who loves to hear himself talk. He does JBL’s Texas two step and JBL glares at him rather hard. JBL: “You’ve got to be kidding me.” JBL doesn’t like being disrespected like this and then walks out for the countout.

Post break JBL finds Batista talking to Kelly Kelly, who both find this funny. JBL says he and Batista are both main eventers and Batista should get why this is terrible. Batista says JBL and Charlie Haas have nothing in common, because Haas actually won tonight.

Rey Mysterio says he had to take some time off after Kane attacked him. He’s standing here though because Kane didn’t kill his spirit. Even though he’s always an underdog, he is no one’s victim.

Rey Mysterio/Evan Bourne vs. Miz/John Morrison

Bourne and Morrison go into the corner to start before Bourne snaps off an armdrag. Mysterio comes in to stay on the arm but Morrison kicks him down to take over. It’s off to Miz to work on Mysterio’s right arm (that looks so wrong) until Mysterio fights up and brings Bourne back in.

A top rope Meteora and an assisted moonsault get two on Miz but he knocks Bourne off the top. Morrison’s chinlock slows things down but Bourne manages to send them into each other. The much needed tag brings Mysterio back in to pick the pace back up including a 619 to Morrison. Air Bourne gives Bourne the pin.

Rating: C+. Nice match here with Mysterio giving Bourne a rub in a win. I can’t imagine them being a full time team, but Mysterio giving his approval to any new high flier is a useful tool. Miz and Morrison are the kind of guys who can get their momentum back without much trouble so the loss won’t hurt them.

Post match Kane appears on the Titantron to say he is facing Mysterio next week. Then Mysterio will see why he’s a victim, and Kane holds up his old mask for a weird moment.

Here is Randy Orton for a chat. Orton talks about how bad it is when you have a title in your grasp and have it taken away. He’s not talking about CM Punk, but rather himself. Orton lost his title because of an injury but he earned his shot, while Punk never did. Last night, Orton took Punk out to prevent him from being exposed in the Championship Scramble.

Cue Ted DiBiase, Cody Rhodes and Manu, with Rhodes not liking Orton taking credit for getting rid of Punk. Manu introduces himself for the Raw audience and DiBiase talks about Orton slapping Rhodes last week….and then gets slapped himself. Orton leaves and the young guys aren’t happy.

Manu/Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase vs. Kofi Kingston/Cryme Tyme

JTG and Rhodes lock up to start until Rhodes gets in a shot to the ribs. It’s already off to DiBiase, who misses a charge at Kingston. Manu pulls Kingston outside for a cheap shot and a headbutt connects back inside. Rhodes’ abdominal stretch has Kingston in trouble but he fights out, only to miss a crossbody. Kingston knocks Rhodes down though and brings Gaspard in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Manu grabs a belly to back neckbreaker for the fast pin.

Rating: C. This was Manu’s Raw debut and…yeah he’s only so interesting. There’s only so much you can get out of this short of a match with so many people around and Manu isn’t that great in the first place. He’s just a generic guy who is there because of his father, which isn’t exactly making him interesting to start. Maybe that can change, but he isn’t off to a great first few steps.

Classics On Demand: Race vs. Flair at Starrcade 1983.

Snitsky vs. Santino Marella

Non-title and Beth Phoenix is here with Marella. We see the Honk-A-Meter, which shows Marella at three weeks, putting him WAY ahead of the Mountie. Snitsky gets distracted by Phoenix to start but comes back with a clothesline. The boot misses in the corner though and Marella gets a rollup for a fast pin.

Kelly Kelly is in Mike Adamle’s office where she’s worried about CM Punk. Adamle says it’s ok but here is Chris Jericho to interrupt. Jericho doesn’t think it’s fair to have him face Batista, but Adamle says Jericho owes him a favor after last week. Adamle needs a main event caliber performance tonight, so the match is on.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Chris Jericho vs. Batista

Non-title and Lance Cade is here with Jericho. Batista starts fast and knocks him down, including the shoulders in the ribs. Jericho gets knocked outside…and here is Mike Adamle to say stop the match. This isn’t fair, so he’s going to even the score a bit.

Chris Jericho/John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Batista

We’re joined in progress with Jericho getting in a cheap shot from the apron and coming in. Batista fights up but gets knocked right back down, allowing JBL to drop some elbows. It’s back to Jericho, but Batista makes the clothesline comeback. Cade gets on the apron though and the Clothesline From JBL drops Batista, with Jericho stealing the pin.

Rating: C+. This was an interesting twist and I can go with having Batista coming after Jericho. It’s a good choice for a first challenger, even if Shawn Michaels would seem to be the obvious way to go. Then again, if Jericho beat Batista here, maybe they’re just going straight to Michaels vs. Jericho while Batista faces JBL. Again. As their previous matches were just so interesting.

Post match Cade and JBL beat on Batista but he fights back and hits a spear to JBL. Cade gets Batista Bombed and Batista stares at Jericho to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked it for the most part, as thankfully they have combined the best thing going on the show with the World Title scene, which is pretty far overdue. Jericho and Michaels have been doing the best stuff for such a long time now that it’s good to see it as the official top story. The rest of the show was just ok though, with a lot of short matches which didn’t have the chance to do much.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 1, 2008
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last Raw before Unforgiven and the big matches are entirely set. The good thing is that this includes the incredible Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho match, which is pretty much carrying the quality side of things. Other than that you have CM Punk ready to defend in the Championship Scramble which is….well it exists. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Killer Kowalski.

Here is the injured Randy Orton for a chat and the hometown fans are happy to see him. Orton confirms that he is not 100% yet but there is something he has to get off his chest. He believes that a brand is only as strong as its champions. When he was on top, Raw was the best thing going but now it’s a joke. Beth Phoenix runs around like a lovesick puppy after the weakest Intercontinental Champion of all time in Santino Marella. Then you have Priceless, who should be called Worthless, because they don’t even have their belts.

Finally though, we have someone who is disgracing the World Title in CM Punk. Four years ago, Punk was wrestling in no name towns but then he won a briefcase and got the World Title. That makes Orton sick and he would love to challenge Punk to get the title back tonight. Cue Punk, who says he is getting a headache from listening to Orton. Not everyone has their daddy and grandfather getting them into WWE.

Punk doesn’t drink, smoke, or go for joy rides on his motorcycle at 3am and make his injury even worse. He’s going to retain the title on Sunday, and then he wants Orton to come tell him how pathetic he is again. Orton says they’ll continue this at a later time and walks away. Cue JBL to interrupt, saying Punk doesn’t get it. Fairy tales aren’t real and the Cinderella run ends on Sunday.

We get the traditional odds explanation and JBL says anyone could take the title from Punk on Sunday. Cue Kane to interrupt, saying that he’s been to H*** and he didn’t see JBL’s Clothesline. He did see Rey Mysterio though, so he’s not likely for the scramble match. Cue Batista to interrupt but he opts to beat everyone else up rather than speaking. Batista walks out rather quickly, leaving the other three laying. I love Punk and I was thrilled when he won the title but egads he could not look much weaker.

Kofi Kingston vs. Charlie Haas

This week’s Haas impression is….John Cena, so the fans are not happy with the fake out. Haas says “the Haas is here and you can’t see me.” Then how do we know you’re here? Kingston starts fast with a monkey flip but Haas knocks him down. The Five Knuckle Shuffle is blocked though and Kingston grabs a Russian legsweep into the Boom Drop. A rollup doesn’t work for Haas and Trouble In Paradise finishes him in a hurry. The Haas impressions are funny enough but if he’s going to lose in short order every time, their charm isn’t likely to last very long.

Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase talk to Randy Orton, who slaps Rhodes in the face. Orton tells them to grow a set because otherwise, he stands by everything he says.

ECW GM Teddy Long, and his assistant Tiffany, are here with Mike Adamle. Their Scramble participants are in a battle royal tonight, which Adamle says is like a Jerry Lawis Labor Day telethon without the kids. Long tries to get his head around that one as Kane comes in to say that Adamle advertising Rey Mysterio was stupid because his body has been destroyed. Adamle was hoping it would make Mysterio show up, so Kane tells him to keep hoping.

Battle Royal

Matt Hardy, Chavo Guerrero, Miz, Finlay, Mark Henry

Henry’s ECW Title isn’t on the line and yeah it’s a five man battle royal. Everyone else goes after Henry to start and that goes nowhere, as Henry shoves them all away. Some double teaming does get Henry off his feet (not a great idea in a battle royal) but Miz goes after Hardy. Guerrero jumps Miz so Henry dumps both of them and we’re already down to three. Henry misses a charge into the corner though and Hardy strikes away but he and Finlay can’t get the elimination. Finlay is tossed but Hardy is back up with the middle rope elbow to the head. The Twist Of Fate is easily blocked though and Henry tosses him for the win.

Rating: D+. What is there to say here? It’s a five man battle royal and only went on for a few minutes. There isn’t much that can be done with a regular match in that amount of time but having such a small field for a battle royal makes it even harder. Henry winning a match that is built for someone like him doesn’t help either, making this quite the weak offering.

Jamie Noble vs. William Regal

Layla is at ringside so Noble can impress her. Regal goes right at him and grabs a full nelson, which is reversed into a rollup for two. A left hand drops Noble and the half and half suplex does it again. Noble is right back up with a small package for the pin out of nowhere and Layla does seem somewhat impressed.

Jillian Hall sings a bit before a six woman tag.

Jillian Hall/Beth Phoenix/Katie Lea Burchill vs. Mickie James/Kelly Kelly/Candice Michelle

Phoenix tells Randy Orton to watch and this is Michelle’s big return after a very long injury absence. Burchill and Kelly start things off with Burchill taking her down for two so it’s off to James for a top rope Thesz press. Burchill takes James into the corner though and Hall comes in, only to get forearmed in the face to cut that off fast.

Phoenix grabs a suplex to drop James again though and it’s back to Hall. A neckbreaker gets James out of trouble and Michelle gets to come in and clean house. Michelle tries a high crossbody but Phoenix rolls through and….I have absolutely no idea what the next sequence was supposed to be. They are on different plants for a bit but after about twenty seconds of not being able to do anything right, Michelle small packages her for the pin.

Rating: D+. They got so messed up in the end there, and while it felt like they just messed up to start and then both tried to fix it in a different way, they did at least get the right result. That being said, they didn’t have time to do much here (again) and Michelle coming back to beat the champ after the better part of a year away pretty much just proves Orton right about Phoenix.

We get a long recap of Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho, which is now a personal rivalry over Jericho accidentally (in theory) hitting Michaels’ wife in the face. Michaels was ready to retire, but now it’s time for personal revenge with Michaels angrier than he has been in a long time. This has been the best thing on Raw since it started and now we are ready for one more huge fight between them, which should be outstanding.

Santino Marella vs. D’Lo Brown

Non-title. Hold on though as Marella wants to show that Randy Orton was wrong. Marella orders the HONK-A-METER, which shows that Honky Tonk Man was Intercontinental Champion for 64 weeks. On the other hand, Marella has been the Intercontinental Champion for 2 weeks, putting him 62 weeks back.

That is nothing for Marella, and then he will be the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time. I can’t stand Santino but this is still one of those gags that will always make me chuckle. It’s so stupid that it’s funny and that can work so well. Marella drives him into the corner to start but Brown is back up with a running clothesline for two. A Shining Wizard drops Marella but he avoids the Low Down and gets the fast pin.

This week’s classic moment: the first Raw in MSG. Yeah that fits.

Cryme Tyme vs. John Morrison/The Miz

Hold on as Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes run in to jump Cryme Tyme and beat them down. The champs get their belts back and there’s no match.

Post break Rhodes and DiBiase run into Orton, who doesn’t say anything but seems pleased.

WWE is at the Republican National Convention in Minneapolis.

Batista’s game plan for tonight: destroy everyone.

Unforgiven rundown.

Battle Royal

Batista, CM Punk, JBL, Kane

Non-title and it’s somehow even lamer than earlier with a four man battle royal because there’s no Rey Mysterio. There is however Randy Orton, who is watching at ringside. Batista hammers on Kane to start and JBL knocks Punk down in the corner. Some running corner clotheslines have Batista in control but he can’t throw Punk out. Kane boots Batista in the face though and Punk hits a clothesline to get rid of him.

JBL boots the other two out but Punk backdrops him out, leaving us with Punk vs. Kane. Some shots to the face aren’t enough to get rid of Punk so Kane gives him a side slam. Kane knocks him to the apron so Punk tries a springboard, for Kane to grab him by the throat and toss him out for the win.

Rating: D. This felt like something they would do on a Memphis territory house show in front of 200 people when some wrestlers didn’t show up. The match runs about four minutes and nothing really happens, with Orton just sitting there being the, for lack of a better word, highlight. This was rough, but what were the wrestlers supposed to do under these circumstances?

Post match Punk and Orton have a staredown, with Punk hitting him in the face. Cue Rey Mysterio, leaving Kane stunned. Mysterio actually beats Kane down and gives him a 619 around the post.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring for the Chris Jericho/Shawn Michaels contract signing. Jericho comes out and Lawler says that WWE is waived of all liabilities before bringing Michaels out as well. Both of them sign and Lawler tries to wrap it up but Jericho cuts him off. Jericho asks why Michaels has this much security, because Jericho isn’t stupid enough to get violent here. Michaels says it’s not his security because he wants it to be the two of them alone. Jericho sends security and Lawler away, which is following Michaels’ advice, which Michaels would never do for him.

This week, Jericho did sit his family down and tell them that he will never be Shawn Michaels. He will never be a lying, cheating, manipulative monster. They will not be watching Unforgiven because he doesn’t want them to see what he’ll be doing. Jericho isn’t going to go soft on Michaels because of Michaels’ precious wife. The only person Michaels has to blame for this is himself.

Michaels is glad that Jericho’s family won’t be watching and neither will Michaels’. He wants to tell them about the time when he almost walked away but came back so he could look evil in the face and spit in its eye. Unforgiven is an appropriate name for the event because he will never forgive Jericho for what he did. All he hopes is that someday God can forgive him for what he’ll do to Jericho.

That makes Jericho stand up so Michaels takes off his jacket but Lance Cade runs in. Michaels takes him out and glares at Jericho to end the show. These two are selling the living heck out of this match and I want to see them tear into each other. You can feel the intensity here and there is nothing else like it in WWE at the moment.

Overall Rating: C-. I hope Jericho and Michaels got a very nice selection of fruit baskets from the roster because they are carrying this show on their backs. The problem here is so much of the rest of the show is built around the Scramble and there is pretty much nothing left to say about it. That makes for a very tedious show and that was on display here. The Michaels/Jericho segments are great, but that’s about it for the show. Well other than the Honk-A-Meter, but that goes without saying.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 18, 2008
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 14,957
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re done with Summerslam and the big story is Batista defeated John Cena in one heck of a bragging rights match. That is the kind of match that you do not get to see very often and in theory it should make Batista the #1 contender to the Raw World Title. CM Punk dispatched JBL and is going to need a fresh challenger so let’s get to it.

Here is Summerslam if you need a recap.

Here is a rather serious looking Chris Jericho to get things going. He isn’t here to apologize for what happened to Shawn Michaels’ wife last night because the person who should be apologizing is Shawn himself. Shawn is the person who put her in danger, and here is the proof. We see a long recap of the segment, which capped off with Jericho “accidentally” hitting Shawn’s wife in the face.

Back in the arena, the fans are not exactly pleased with Jericho, who says that Shawn could have just sent in a video or something to make his big announcement. Instead he had to come to the ring and do everything in person, which is why his wife got hurt. All Shawn had to do was admit that Jericho was the reason he’s finished and now look what happened. The reality is Shawn has tarnished his reputation and that is something he is going to have to live with for the rest of his life. Jericho slowly walks out, with commentary not being sure what to make of this. Good stuff here, as Jericho was much more somber and it worked.

Batista vs. Paul Burchill

Batista is coming in with a bad knee. Burchill kicks him in the face to start and Batista actually gets knocked into the corner. A shot to the knee cuts off the comeback attempt but Batista is back with a spear. The spinebuster into the Batista Bomb finishes Burchill quick.

Mike Adamle introduces Primo Colon (Carlito’s brother) as the newest member of the Raw roster but John Cena walks past. Adamle tries to talk to him but Cena walks up to Batista, saying last night was great and the better man won. Batista thanks him for that, but Cena says that was last night. Batista: “All right.”

Kelly Kelly/Mickie James vs. Jillian Hall/Katie Lea

Jillian’s song from Chicago doesn’t make the Peacock cut. Mickie drives Jillian into the corner to start and then takes both of them down at once. Kelly comes in with a sunset flip for two as we hear about Kelly’s dating tips in an interview. Katie gets Kelly up in an electric chair so Jillian can come in to pull her down in a crash.

The reverse chinlock has Kelly in trouble and Jillian knocks her down for two. Kelly gets some knees up though and the tag brings Mickie back in for some slightly more sophisticated stuff. A neckbreaker gets two on Katie as Jillian makes the save. Mickie and Kelly hit a double dropkick on Jillian, followed by the MickieDT to finish Katie.

Rating: C+. Better than I was expecting here, which granted is mostly due to Mickie carrying things for the team. Jillian is little more than a gimmick and Katie has already peaked. At the same time you have Kelly, who is getting better but still feels like more of a long term project. Granted it’s a project with some upside so there are worse ideas.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Jamie Noble

Noble strikes away to start and hammers away in the corner, only to get caught with the fall away slam. The slow beating is on until the Clothesline From JBL puts Noble out. JBL won’t cover though and instead hits another Clothesline, followed by another clothesline, which is enough for the stoppage.

Here is Mike Adamle for some announcements. First up, tonight’s main event is CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho. Speaking of the Raw World Title, Shane and Stephanie McMahon have told him to make a new announcement: at Unforgiven, there will be a 20 minute Championship Scramble for the title. There can be multiple falls, but the last person to score one will be the official World Heavyweight Champion. Here are the participants: World Champion CM Punk, Kane, JBL, Batista and John Cena. That’s not bad. Not the concept that is, as that’s a cool idea, but rather Adamle getting through this without any major errors.

John Cena vs. Cody Rhodes/Ted DiBiase

Non-title. Hold on though as here is Cryme Tyme, who steal the Tag Team Titles and run off. DiBiase looks ready to start but Rhodes comes in instead and we take an early break. Back with Rhodes getting in a cheap shot out of the corner, which is enough for a chase around the ring and a tag off to DiBiase. Back in and DiBiase hammers away, setting up a double suplex for two, followed by a dropkick for the same. Rhodes knocks him to the apron and then into the barricade before it’s back to DiBiase.

Cena’s missed charge into the corner lets DiBiase grab a belly to back suplex, setting up a clothesline for two. Cena tries the comeback but DiBiase grabs the arm so Rhodes can drop him again as the numbers advantage continues. A flying shoulder misses for Cena as well as he just can’t keep anything going. DiBiase snaps off a suplex but tries a second, which Cena reverses into one of his own. That’s enough to start the real comeback, with Cena firing off the shoulders into the Shuffle on Rhodes. DiBiase gets knocked to the floor and the STF finishes Rhodes clean.

Rating: C. Yeah not a fan of the Tag Team Champions losing for the second time in three weeks, especially with Cena out there on his own. It also wasn’t a very entertaining match, as it was mostly Cena selling for over ten minutes before coming back with his usual to win. There was no other team other than the champs to take this loss?

Harley Race is here.

We look at Chris Jericho accidentally (in theory) hitting Shawn Michaels’ wife last night.

Last night, Shawn and his wife Rebecca were going to leave the arena but Shawn stopped to say he was going to come home and comfort his family, because she got punched in the face because of him. And then….and then….and I guess that sums it up.

CM Punk says what Chris Jericho did last night was reprehensible but they deal with people like him in Chicago.

Santino Marella vs. D’Lo Brown

Non-title and Beth Phoenix is here with Santino while Kofi Kingston comes out to join commentary. Santino knocks him down for an early two as Kingston wants to know who wears the pants in Glamarella. Brown fights back and hits a quick legdrop but Phoenix gets in the ring to block the Low Down. Brown: “GET TO STEPPIN! I SAID GET TO STEPPIN!” That’s enough for Phoenix to slap Brown in the face for the fast DQ.

Post match Santino goes after Kingston, who knocks him silly with a ram into the announcers’ table.

Classics On Demand: Trish Stratus b. Stacy Keibler in a bikini contest.

Here is Kane to explain why he was carrying around Rey Mysterio’s mask in a bag. He’s been carrying the bag around for a while because it put a smile on his face. Mysterio has not been around for about six weeks, because Kane has never really liked him. Kane calls Mysterio a slithering little slime that hides behind a mask and like a fungus that grows in the marshes of your psyche.

Six weeks ago, he attacked Mysterio but spared his life. Mysterio is alive, but his spirit is broken and dead. We get some evil laughter, which is enough to bring out a limping Batista. The brawl is on but Kane goes after the bag leg and hits a chokeslam to escape. Should be a good hoss fight when we get around to it.

CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title and Jericho has Lance Cade with him. The fans are of course behind Punk and Jericho does not like that. They take their time to start until Punk strikes him down for an early two. Punk cranks on both arms but Jericho slips out, only to miss a charge into the post as we take an early break. Back with Punk getting pulled into a chinlock before Jericho bends his back over the knee. That’s broken up with a kick to the head so Jericho pulls him into an abdominal stretch.

Punk fights out again and grabs his own backbreaker for his own two, followed by the corner clothesline. The bulldog is blocked though and Jericho hits the Lionsault for two. The Walls go on but Punk reverses into a rollup for two and the escape. Jericho slips out of a GTS attempt and grabs the Walls, sending Punk crawling over to the ropes. Another GTS attempt is countered and Jericho goes up, only to get kneed in the face. The super bulldog leaves both of them down but a quick Cade distraction lets Jericho hit the Codebreaker for the win.

Rating: B-. Well of course Punk, who is already seen as an underdog champion, loses in his hometown with the least amount of interference. It’s nice that there is a little something in there to protect Punk, but this felt like WWE was trying to make him look bad in front of his friends and family (who they made clear were there). The match was pretty good, but the result felt like such annoying business as usual from WWE.

Overall Rating: B-. This was mainly about setting up the major players before the Championship Scramble, even with the champion himself losing in the end. The good thing is that covers a lot of ground and eats up a bunch of time on the show, as there wasn’t much good on the undercard. Unforgiven feels like it’s going to be a one match show, but it’s one of those matches with so much in it that the show should work out. Now just get a little something else for some insurance, as a two match card sounds even better.

 

 

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