Monday Night Raw
Date: July 30, 2007
Location: Tucson Convention Center, Tucson, Arizona
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Summerslam and now we have a big time main event with Randy Orton challenging John Cena for the Raw World Title. That alone is almost enough to carry the Raw side but they could add in a few more things to boost things up a bit. One thing that won’t be included is Jeff Hardy, who has been suspended for thirty days for violating company policy. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Randy Orton becoming the new #1 contender and laying out John Cena to end last week’s show.

Here is John Cena for a chat. Cena is ready for a WWE Title match at the biggest party of the summer and he is ready to face Randy Orton. They got started fast with Orton making an opening statement. Great Khali did it, Bobby Lashley did it, and now Orton did it and CENA WAS DOWN! Orton got the first chapter right, but now he needs to flip to the final chapter, which will have the same four words that we’ve had since September: THE CHAMP IS HERE!

Cue Carlito of all people, to say that Cena is a lucky man, because he is the first guest on the new and improved Carlito’s Cabana. The set is thrown together in a hurry and Cena has a seat as Carlito asks him why he is a liar. We hear about Carlito beating Cena in his debut (because we are bringing this up AGAIN), with Cena throwing in the stabbing in the club.

Cena says that was three years ago, when Britney Spears was still hot, when Michael Jackson wasn’t creepy, when Abraham Lincoln wrestled a bear on the White House lawn and when Lindsay Lohan did her first line…..of dialogue. Cena: “It was Herbie: Fully Loaded! We all saw it!” Carlito says he has Cena’s number but here is Mr. Kennedy to interrupt. Kennedy says he should be #1 contender because Carlito has apples but no grapefruits.

They get in an argument about who should be #1 contender ala Daffy and Bugs. Kennedy: “KENNEDY!” Carlito: “CARLITO!” Cena: “RANDY ORTON!” Cena talks about how Orton is #1 contender because he earned it, not by having a mic drop or stuttering on your last name. If they want to do something, Kennedy should challenge Bobby Lashley and Carlito can do something for the first time in three years by facing Cena himself. This was your usual interrupting segment but at least they set things up.

Melina/Jillian Hall/Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle/Mickie James/Maria

Santino Marella is here with Maria and company. Maria cranks on Beth’s arm to start and it’s off to Mickie to stay on said arm. That doesn’t work for Beth, who powers her into the corner and brings Melina in. Mickie clotheslines her down and it’s off to Candice for a sloppy looking double rolling flip (they aren’t as good as the Hardys). Jillian comes in to take Candice down by the hair as we go to a wide shot for some reason. A Russian legsweep gets Candice out of trouble though and Maria comes into clean house. Everything breaks down and Jillian lifts Maria up for a running faceplant from Melina for the pin.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t a great match, but you could tell that they were having to cram in a bunch of stuff into just over three minutes. You can’t get very far with six women in that length of time and it was showing badly here. The division is getting better though, in that it is an actual division for the first time in a good while.

Post break, the women are gone but Santino is still here to blame the referee for Maria’s loss. We have an interruption though.

Umaga vs. Santino Marella

Non-title and the Samoan Spike finishes in about a minute. A heel turn is a good idea for him as there is nothing to him outside of being Italian so this is a needed change.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell hope that HHH is watching Booker beat up Jerry Lawler tonight.

Cody Rhodes comes in to see Coach and we see a clip of Randy Orton attacking Dusty Rhodes last week. After a long (and readily produced) video, Coach says that Cody can’t go after revenge on Orton. As for Cody’s career, he’s 0-2 so he needs to go win his match. Win and stay, but lose and leave. Cody thanks Coach for showing him the footage.

Randy Orton is ready to compete tonight but doesn’t have an opponent. Cue Sgt. Slaughter of all people to say he’ll do it because Orton is a maggot.

Daivari vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody cuts off Daivari’s pre-match rant and we’re ready to go in a hurry. Daivari shrugs off some early right hands in the corner and sends him into the corner. We’re already on the neck crank as the fans chant USA. Cody hits a crossbody and bulldog for two, followed by a Dustin Rhodes powerslam. A pretty good DDT finishes Daivari in a hurry.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley powers him down to start and grabs a front facelock to limited avail. Back up and Kennedy gets punched into the corner, setting up the vertical suplex. The threat of a spear sends Kennedy bailing to the floor, where he kicks Lashley’s shoulder into the steps. Back in and we hit the logical armbar to stay on Lashley’s bad shoulder. The arm is snapped across the top rope for two and the referee considers stopping the match. Another armbar has to be broken up and Lashley makes the comeback. The spear is loaded up but Kennedy kicks him in the arm and gets the clean pin.

Rating: C. That was a rather surprising result with Lashley going from the top of the show to losing clean in about six minutes. Granted the fact that he had a legitimate shoulder injury and needed surgery might have had something to do with it. As a result, that would be the last Lashley match around here for over ten years, as he would need months off to recover and then be released. It’s great to see Kennedy get the credit for injuring him, which isn’t something that is done nearly often enough. You have something handed to you, so run with the thing.

We recap King Booker vs. Jerry Lawler, which started over Booker’s obsession with being the only king.

King Booker vs. Jerry Lawler

Queen Sharmell is here with Booker. They stare each other down to start and circle a bit until Lawler scores with some shots to the face. More right hands knock Booker down in the corner but he comes back with a spinning kick to drop Lawler. Back up and the strap comes down to start Lawler’s comeback, meaning it’s time for a bunch of right hands. An elbow gets three but Booker’s foot is on the ropes to kill the celebration. Back up and Booker kicks him in the face again before hammering away in the corner enough to draw a DQ.

Rating: C-. This was a bit confusing as you would think that Booker would pin Lawler when he seems to be set for a big showdown with HHH at Summerslam. Lawler is still great at everything he does though and can draw a crowd in without much effort. Odds are we’re getting a rematch, which I guess is serving as a surrogate since HHH isn’t around.

Post match Lawler is back up and jumps Booker on the ramp. The beating is on until referees break it up.

Cryme Tyme vs. John Mason/Brandon Gatson

JTG punches Mason down to start so it’s off to Gaspard to beat up Gatson. The G9 is good for the pin on Gat on in a hurry.

Post match, Cryme Tyme steals Watson’s boots and offers them to the crowd, with the starting bid at $10,000, cash only. That’s dropped to $5,000 and then all the way down to $20, with the autographs thrown in! Final sale price: $40. Pretty funny bit here with Cryme Tyme showing off some great charisma.

Randy Orton vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Lawler is back on commentary. Orton goes right for the leg to start and we’re in the chinlock early on. Slaughter fights up and grabs a quick cobra clutch but Orton is in the ropes in a hurry. A headbutt staggers Slaughter and the RKO finishes in a hurry.

Rating: D. I still don’t know why Slaughter is trotted out for matches like this, as it’s quite the downgrade from Orton beating up Dusty Rhodes to beating up Slaughter. You knew what you would be seeing as soon as Slaughter showed up, but at least they kept it short. This didn’t really make me want to see Cena beat Orton any more, and it would have been more effective to have him take out Lashley earlier tonight.

Carlito vs. John Cena

Non-title and Orton is at ringside. Cena grabs a headlock to start and messes with the hair, which is too far for Carlito. A way too early FU attempt lets Cena go after the hair again as Cena doesn’t seem to be taking this very seriously. Cena grabs the hair for a bulldog and hits a rather high backdrop. The fisherman’s suplex drops Carlito again and Cena glares down at Orton. Carlito avoids a charge though and grabs a neckbreaker for two. The chinlock goes on but Cena fights up in a hurry. Cena loads up the Shuffle but Orton offers a distraction, allowing Carlito to hit the Backstabber for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. This was more of an angle with a match included, as Carlito barely got in anything until the end. I know pinning Cena is a boost for Carlito, but it doesn’t do as much good when Cena beat him up and looked bored doing so at times. Then again, we’re pretty far beyond the point of Carlito being taken seriously so that shouldn’t be the biggest surprise.

Post match, Carlito spits the apple on Cena, who looks furious to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m not quite sure what to think here, as this was a show that didn’t really add anything new, but rather worked on what was already established. The problem is that it wasn’t a very good show with no matches worth seeing. While it wasn’t exactly a terrible show, it wasn’t one that you needed to watch and that is often worse. Maybe the Hardy situation changed a few things, but I can’t imagine it shook the show up that much. Orton vs. Cena is going to carry Summerslam on this side, so hopefully it’s more of the end of the show than the beginning.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 9, 2007
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are less than two weeks away from the Great American Bash and the big main event is set. WWE Champion John Cena will be defending the title against Bobby Lashley in a match that has to have Vince McMahon drooling. There are two shows left to build up to the show and that can be the important times on the way there. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Bobby Lashley vs. King Booker

Queen Sharmell is here with Booker in a rematch of last year’s King of the Ring finals (which JR mentions during the entrances). Lashley powers him around to start but charges into an elbow in the corner. Booker’s charge is countered into a powerslam though and Lashley plants him again for two. There’s another slam to put Booker down again but he’s back up with a spinning kick. Lashley isn’t having that and hits the Dominator, only to have Mr. Kennedy come in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but Lashley was beating up a former World Champion and making it look pretty easy. They’re doing a great job of making Lashley feel like an unstoppable monster and that is where Cena shines most of the time. This didn’t need to go on much longer and they made their point while still protecting Booker a bit.

Post match the double teaming is on until Coach comes out to say not so fast. Tonight it was supposed to be Cena/Lashley vs. Kennedy/Booker, but since Cena is in Los Angeles (for a panel on Larry King Live), Lashley can pick another partner. Either that or have a handicap match. Lashley clears the ring to show off a bit.

Coach goes into his office to find William Regal, who he thanks for helping last week. Regal says he got some compliments for bringing something fresh to Raw, but Coach has him in a match with Sandman tonight. Regal doesn’t seem pleased but he’s in.

Intercontinental Title: Umaga vs. Santino Marella

Umaga is defending after taking the title from Santino last week. The strikes to Umaga are as effective as you would expect and he plants Santino with the spinning Rock Bottom. Cue Maria to cheer for Santino (Lawler approves) as Santino is sent chest first into the corner. Umaga does it again as this is total dominance so far. The middle rope headbutt misses though and Santino hammers away, only to get knocked right back down in a hurry. The running hip attack crushes Santino in the corner and the Samoan Spike retains the title.

Rating: D+. Total and complete destruction here and that should wrap it up for Santino’s title shots. There is no reason to believe that Santino can hang with Umaga in a one on one match without assistance so this is the right way to wrap it up. Umaga can find some more people to fight for the title and odds are almost anyone would give him a better challenge at the moment.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Highlanders

Non-title and I had forgotten that the Highlanders were a thing around here. Cage runs Rory over with a shoulder to start and grabs a headlock to take him over again. Murdoch comes in for a headlock takeover of his own as this is another one sided match to start. A running elbow in the corner staggers Rory again and we hit the chinlock with a knee in his back. Rory gets up and his a jawbreaker to get a breather though and the hot tag brings in Robbie to clean house. Everything breaks down and a high/low finishes for Murdoch out of nowhere.

Maria apologizes to Santino Marella for the loss and suggests they go out tonight. Marella suggests he help her at his hotel, with Maria agreeing, as they could watch a movie. Or something.

Charlie Haas makes fun of Shelton Benjamin for kissing King Booker’s hand last night. Shelton, the birthday boy, is so confident that he’ll win tonight that if he doesn’t, he’ll kiss….Haas….on the lips. Haas is down and then realizes what he said. Oddly enough, no Ron Simmons cameo.

Video on John Cena.

Snitsky vs. Super Crazy

Snitsky powers him into the corner to start but charges into a boot. That’s about it for Crazy’s offense as Snitsky hits him in the back and whips him hard into the corner again. The pumphandle slam finishes for Snitsky in just over a minute.

Post match, Snitsky hits another pumphandle slam for a bonus.

We recap Randy Orton disrespecting Dusty and (the debuting) Cody Rhodes last week by slapping Dusty in the face. This week, Dusty wants some revenge.

HHH is coming back.

Here is Dusty Rhodes for a chat and he wastes no time in calling out Randy Orton. Cue Orton, with Dusty saying there was no way that it was going to be over last week when Orton slapped him in the face. Now is Orton just going to stand there and look stupid? Orton doesn’t want to hear the “respect your legends” speech again but Dusty goes on a mini rant about Orton spitting in Harley Race’s face. Dusty wants to hear about what Orton has done in the ring, so Orton talks about injuring Shawn Michaels and Rob Van Dam. That’s not how you gain respect, and LOOK AT DUSTY WHEN HE IS TALKING TO YOU!

Orton challenges him to a match at the Great American Bash, but Dusty says not so fast because he’s old and retired. That’s not cool with Orton, so he suggests that he’ll just end Cody Rhodes’ career instead. Dusty is willing to fight, but we’ll make it a Texas Bullrope match. Deal, with Orton saying Cody needs to be there to pick up the pieces. Cue Cody (Runnels according to JR), with Orton telling him to get out of the ring before he gets hurt. Cody slaps Orton in the face and Orton bails without going after the two of them.

Paul London vs. Shelton Benjamin

This could be good. Shelton powers out of a top wristlock attempt to start and then takes London down into a front facelock without much trouble. Back up and London kicks away at the ribs for little effect so he grabs a front facelock of his own. That’s broken up as well so Benjamin snaps off a backbreaker, setting up an armbar of all things. London fights up with a hurricanrana into a small package for two, only to have Benjamin go right back to the arm. That doesn’t seem to bother London, who grabs a victory roll for the fast pin.

Rating: C. This was good while it lasted but it didn’t have a ton of time to go anywhere. That being said, this is about as good as you’re going to get from these two as far as time goes, as WWE has never exactly shown much interest in a serious push for London. Then there is Benjamin, and there is no reason to believe in any push he receives ever again.

Mr. Kennedy jumps the banged up Super Crazy for last week.

Shelton Benjamin seems hesitant to kiss Charlie Haas but Haas will settle for a kiss on the hand. They hug, and NOW Ron Simmons comes in for the catchphrase.

Melina/Jillian Hall vs. Candice Michelle/Mickie James

Hold on though as Melina has a sprained ankle, but she has a replacement: the returning Beth Phoenix. Melina sits in on commentary as Beth hits Mickie with what would become known as the Glam Slam. Candice gets the tag just a few seconds later as everything breaks down in a hurry. Jillian side slams Candice for two but gets caught in a backslide to give Candice the fast pin. This was nothing.

Post match Beth and Jillian beat down Candice, with Melina literally jumping in to help as a villain should.

Smackdown Rebound.

HHH is still coming back.

King Booker isn’t happy that HHH is coming back but here is Mr. Kennedy to interrupt. Kennedy says Bobby Lashley made them look like fools last week but Booker says that was just Kennedy. Revenge will be theirs!

Sandman vs. William Regal

Carlito is on commentary. Regal hammers away in a pair of corners to start as Carlito accuses Sandman of being drunk. Sandman comes back with a knee to the face but has to go after Carlito with the kendo stick. Another shot drops Regal to DQ Sandman.

Video on Bobby Lashley.

John Cena joins us via satellite and talks about how nice it was for Larry King to have people willing to have an intelligent discussion on wrestling on his show. As for Lashley, it’s true that he is an uncrowned champion. At the Great American Bash, we’ll find out who the real champion is.

Great American Bash rundown. That’s not a bad looking show.

Bobby Lashley/??? vs. Mr. Kennedy/King Booker

The mystery partner is….Jeff Hardy. I’ve heard worse ideas. In something I wouldn’t have guessed, Hardy is a bit taller than Lashley. Anyway, Booker and Hardy get things going with Booker missing an early ax kick attempt. Hardy starts in on the arm but gets taken into the corner for some knees to the ribs. Kennedy comes in and gets to stomp away in the corner until Hardy mule kicks his way to freedom.

The tag brings in Lashley to clean house, including a suplex to Kennedy. Booker gets knocked to the floor and Lashley plays Matt Hardy for some Poetry in Motion. A cheap shot from the apron lets Kennedy take Jeff down but he’s right back with the Whisper in the Wind. Now the hot tag can bring in Lashley to clean house as everything breaks down. The spear hits Kennedy with Booker making the save, so Hardy takes Booker outside. A leapfrog over Kennedy sets up another spear to give Lashley the pin.

Rating: C. This was a house show main style match and that’s all it was supposed to be. Cena had WWE business to tend to so putting Hardy in at the last minute was as good of an option as they probably had. The match wasn’t anything memorable, but it gave Lashley the chance to wreck some people and look great on the way to the pay per view title match.

Overall Rating: C-. There were some good pieces on the show but it felt like they were going through stuff as fast as they could have. Cena not being around changed a few things but I don’t think him being here would have brought the show up that much. It’s much more skippable than bad, though in a way that’s a worse situation to have.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 18, 2007
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 7,242
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re a week removed from Vince McMahon being blown up and that means it is time to ramp up the investigation. At the same time, it is time for the first Raw with the new roster following both the Draft and the Supplemental Draft. At the same time too, it’s the go home show for Vengeance. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the explosion, now with statements from eyewitnesses and the lead investigator. Said investigator says we’re looking into it.

Here is Mick Foley to get things going, saying if he had known what would happen to Vince, he might have been nicer to him last week. Sure Vince told him he had no skills and looked horrible, but maybe he should apologize. Cue Randy Orton to interrupt to say a simple insincere apology isn’t going to make everything better. Orton thinks Foley had all of the motivation in the world to take Vince out, but here is King Booker to interrupt. Booker thinks Bobby Lashley is quite the suspect, but here is Lashley to shove him out of the ring.

Orton bails too and here is John Cena to interrupt. Cena doesn’t think much of these investigations and says there is more to this than just pointing a finger at someone and saying he did it. How many friends did Vince really have in the first place? Cena lists off all kinds of people, including anyone associated with the XFL, who could be involved. Cue Coach he is in charge of Raw, so tonight it’s Cena/Lashley vs. Orton/Booker. As for Foley, he can face Umaga.

Next week: a three hour special on the investigation into Vince McMahon, featuring stars from all three shows.

Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Haas takes London down by the arm to start and Benjamin adds a kick to the ribs to make it worse. Benjamin knocks London into the corner but gets kicked away, allowing the hot tag off to Kendrick. Everything breaks down and Kendrick flips out of Haas’ release German suplex, setting up Sliced Bread for the sudden pin.

Rating: C-. No time to go anywhere but what made a difference was the fact that it was actually something fresh. That was lacking last week on Smackdown as there was no reason to put out the same matches that we have seen for weeks (if not months) on end. Not exactly a great match here, but at least it felt different.

Coach answers some questions about Vince McMahon’s murder.

Here is Carlito for a chat. He misses Mr. McMahon but wants to talk about the Draft. The big winners were Ric Flair and Torrie Wilson, who got to leave Raw last week and get away from him. Cue the Sandman to chase Carlito off.

Cryme Tyme miss Vince because he was a capitalist…so let’s sell a bunch of his stuff! Like his last meal and his trash can! The investigator comes in to ask them some questions.

Daivari vs. Jeff Hardy

Big pop for Hardy and Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch are at ringside. Hardy hammers away to start but gets crotched on top to slow him down. The armbar goes on for a bit, with Hardy fighting up to hit a quick Whisper in the Wind. Daivari slams him down and hits a quick running legdrop, only to walk into the Twist of Fate. The Swanton finishes for Hardy in a hurry.

Rating: C-. This was a good way to give Hardy a quick boost and it’s not like Daivari has any kind of value in the first place. Hardy is someone who always seems ready to break out on his own, which might be the case given that Matt is over on Smackdown. Now just get done with the Cade/Murdoch feud and we could be on to something.

Post match Cade and Murdoch accuse Jeff of disrespecting them so Jeff takes them out with a dive.

Coach doesn’t like being questioned about Vince but needs to meet with someone from Sheik Production. Cue the Iron Sheik, to think he should have his own show here on Raw. Coach walks off so here is Ron Simmons to say his catchphrase.

William Regal introduces himself to Maria but Santino Marella comes in to flatter her in Italian.

Vince’s limo driver doesn’t know anything about what happened last week.

Here’s the same video that opened the show.

Mick Foley vs. Umaga

What a weird culture clash. It’s a brawl on the floor before the bell (duh) until Foley hammers away inside. A running clothesline drops Foley and he gets punched outside. Foley chairs Umaga in the head but the chair is superkicked back into his face. Umaga crushes him against the steps and the referee calls for the medics. The bell never rang so no match.

A white limo backs into the parking lot.

Mick Foley is being checked on by the doctor, who tells the investigator that Foley can’t answer any questions at the moment. The investigator needs to learn timing.

Here is Mr. Kennedy for a chat. He’s upset about what happened to Vince but he’s here on Raw. Kennedy yells at the fans for the WHAT chants before talking about how he isn’t someone who just talks about what he wants. That’s why he’s in here and they’re out there. From now on, he is dedicating his career to the memory of Mr. McMahon. Thaty’s why he changed his name to Kennedy in OVW.

Melina/Jillian Hall vs. Candice Michelle/Mickie James

Mickie is the hometown girl and interrupts Jillian’s rendition of Amazing Grace in tribute to Vince. Candice and Jillian start things off with Candice getting two off an Oklahoma roll. Jillian goes with the hair toss, setting up the handspring elbow in the corner. Melina comes in with the choking on the ropes as the villains start alternating.

It’s back to Jillian for some loud choking as her offense isn’t the most varied. Said non-varied offense is broken up by a kick to Melina, allowing the hot tag to Mickie. House is cleaned in a hurry and a neckbreaker gets two on Melina. Everything breaks down and Candice takes Jillian outside, leaving Melina to hit her standing legdrop to finish Mickie.

Rating: C-. Candice is getting a lot better in a hurry while Jillian doesn’t exactly seem to have the best offense in the world. What matters here is setting up Melina vs. Candice, which should be a good showdown after so many weeks of setting it up. The title match could work, though it’s going to be a test for both of them.

JR and King talk about the explosion and how much they miss Vince.

We look at the explosion again, this time with shows of the charred limo.

The white limo is still in the parking lot but no one has gotten out.

Randy Orton/King Booker vs. John Cena/Bobby Lashley

Queen Sharmell is here with Booker. Lashley and Booker get things going with Booker slugging his way out of the corner. That earns him a shove right back into the corner so Lashley can slug away instead. A powerslam gives Lashley two and it’s off to Cena, who runs straight over to Orton for the tag. Everything breaks down and Cena clears the ring as we take a break. Back with Cena fighting out of a chinlock and running Orton over.

Orton grabs the leg though, allowing Booker to come in and kick Cena in the head. Booker grabs his own chinlock before handing it back to Orton for his assortment of stomping. We’re on the third chinlock in less than five minutes, meaning Cena has to fight out again. This time that means a double clothesline, allowing the double tag to Lashley and Booker so the pace can pick up. Lashley suplexes Booker down but he’s back up to superkick Cena. Booker walks into Lashley’s spinebuster but Orton is back up with the RKO for the pin.

Rating: C. Totally standard main event tag match here, albeit with a very high concentration of chinlocks. Orton getting the pin over Lashley keeps him looking strong, as what is likely a Summerslam showdown with Cena continues to loom. Booker will be a fine addition to the roster, though I’m not sure what exactly he is going to be doing at the moment.

We go back to the while limo and Stephanie McMahon gets out.

Snitsky is coming next week.

Stephanie McMahon meets with Coach and says she has to do this on her own.

We run down the Vengeance card.

Here is Stephanie McMahon for a chat. She invites us to a celebration of Vince McMahon’s life next week, featuring all three brands over three hours. Stephanie starts crying and talks about how she has lost the only person she has ever known as her father before dropping the mic and walking out in a hurry to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was quite the slow show, which is understandable but not exactly the most interesting week. The problem is that almost everything is focusing on the big Vince story and that seems to be the plan for next week as well. At least they aren’t wasting time getting to the point, though I’m almost worried about where all of this is going.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Survivor Series 2007
Date: November 18, 2007
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz, Joey Styles

This is one of those shows where there’s a little bit of something good and a little bit of something bad. First the bad: there’s Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali. The good though is Batista vs. the Undertaker inside the Cell, which almost has to be almost has to be good. Other than that the card looks fine and we’ve got Shawn in a world title match which is almost guaranteed to be at least decent. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how this started twenty years ago, as you would expect it to. It also talks about the main event matches tonight, as you would expect it to as well.

ECW Title: CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz

Punk is defending and Miz and Morrison are tag champions. The tag champions of course jump at the same time because one on one, neither have a chance to beat Punk. Punk kicks the tar out of Miz’s head and gets a quick two on Morrison. Both tag champions are sent to the floor where Punk takes both of them out with a suicide dive. Back in and Punk gets caught in a double suplex after the springboard clothesline fails.

Miz and Morrison double team Punk but Miz is the first of the heels to go extra heel, dumping Morrison out to the floor. He hooks a chinlock on Punk but has to let go to knock Morrison back to the outside. Punk kicks Miz in the head but Morrison comes back in with a backbreaker to the champ (as in the ECW Champ) followed by a cobra clutch (called a Japanese sleeper by Joey Styles because he likes to sound smarter than he actually is).

Miz pulls Punk to the floor and rams him into the concrete to get us down to the tag champions fighting. Morrison sends him into the corner chest first and hits the yet to be named Starship Pain for two. Punk comes back in and ranas Morrison off the top into a powerbomb from Miz in a SWEET looking move. That only gets two but it got a BIG reaction from the crowd.

With Morrison pretty much dead, Punk kicks Miz in the face for two and hits the knee/bulldog combo for the same. Punk hits a backbreaker on Miz but Morrison grabs a rollup and trunks on the champ for two. Morrison escapes the GTS but gets knocked to the floor, allowing Punk to hit the GTS on Miz for the pin to retain.

Rating: C. Other than that rana/powerbomb spot, this was only ok. Punk had to carry the whole thing, but you could see something special in Miz. It’s a little easier to see it now, but a buddy of mine said that he thought Miz would be the bigger deal because of this match. I’m not sure if I’d agree based on this match, but Miz did indeed look better than Morrison here. This was a pretty good choice for an opener, but the execution wasn’t great because Punk didn’t have enough to work with.

We recap MVP turning on Matt Hardy and taking out his knee. They had been partners for awhile before this but everyone thought MVP was evil the whole time, and this was the not very shocking turn.

MVP says that Matt won’t be competing tonight because he needs crutches to get by. That doesn’t surprise MVP, because Matt has always needed a crutch, be it either Jeff or MVP. Oh and he’s better than Matt.

Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla

One fall to a finish here and Beth is Women’s Champion. The Divas Title doesn’t exist yet which is how things should have stayed. Layla is WAY hotter being evil and Melina has some gorgeous hair. She also falls off the apron during her splits entrance which is worth a chuckle. The second attempt works and thankfully she’s smiling after screwing it up. Mickie and Maria are ridiculously good looking as well.

Victoria and Michelle start things off with Michelle taking over with a headlock. A big boot puts Victoria (Tara in TNA if you’re new at this) down and it’s off to Torrie who can’t wrestle a watchable match to save her life. Victoria kills her mostly dead with a side slam and it’s off to Layla who is so bad here that she can’t even beat up torrie. Kelly and Jillian come in and Jillian tries to scream a bit, only to get rolled up for two. Maria comes in, basically wearing a bikini.

Thankfully Beth comes in to flatten Maria before handing it right back to Layla. Actually make that Melina, who misses a charge at Maria and crotches herself, allowing for the hot tag to Mickie. James beats up everyone in sight, has her partners take out Beth, and hits the Long Kiss Goodnight on Melina for the pin. What’s the Long Kiss Goodnight you ask? That would be every 13 year old’s dream: Mickie literally bends Melina back and kisses her before kicking her in the head for the pin.

Rating: D. Yes, the match sucked. Yes, most of the women in this are horrible wrestlers. Yes, if you’re complaining about these things, you’re missing the point. This was pure fan service as you had ten girls in either tight or barely there outfits and one hot woman kissing another hot woman before kicking her in the head. If you’re looking for a wrestling match here, you’re in the wrong place.

Coach and Regal are in the back looking smug. Hornswoggle, who is Vince’s son at this point, is pacing very nervously. Remember that he faces Khali tonight.

Orton says history isn’t going to be made tonight. He’s going to beat Shawn because if Shawn uses the superkick, Shawn loses the match.

Shawn is here for revenge tonight because Orton has tried to hurt him and take his livelihood. Therefore tonight, Shawn is going to take the title.

Raw Tag Titles: Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Cade and Murdoch are defending. Rhodes is brand new at this point and spent weeks getting beaten up by Holly before Holly respected him enough to team with him. Cody and Cade start things off with the rookie getting hiptossed down. The crowd pretty much died as soon as the bell rang, which should tell you about the tag team situation at the time as these are the best Raw had for their belts.

Off to the very redneck Trevor Murdoch who chops away but gets caught in a headlock. Yeah Cody didn’t quite get anywhere as a worker for awhile. Holly comes in and is immediately beaten down by Cade. The crowd is reacting a bit so it’s not totally dead but it’s nothing special. The heels are sent into each other and fall out to the floor as Holly takes over. We actually get a HOLLY chant for the only time I can ever remember.

A rollup gets two for Hardcore and it’s off to Murdoch via a blind tag. Holly gets his head kicked off and things slow back down again. The champs tag in and out a lot before Cade picks up Murdoch to drop him down with a legdrop for two. We hit the chinlock on Holly which goes nowhere so Holly suplexes Trevor down. Cade misses an elbow drop but Holly still can’t tag out.

Cade tries that dropping Murdoch into a legdrop move again but as almost always is the case, it doesn’t work this time. Warm tag brings in Cody who hits a missile dropkick on Lance for two. Holly and Cade fall to the floor and Murdoch hits the stupid cousin of a Canadian Destroyer (much more like a sunset flip than a piledriver) to retain.

Rating: C-. Another so-so match here but at the end of the day, it’s Hardcore Holly and a rookie Cody Rhodes vs. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch. That’s only going to take you so far as the fans aren’t going to care about it for the most part. I don’t get why they didn’t change the titles here as Holly and Rhodes would get the belts in a month (and hold them for SIX MONTHS) anyway.

The announcers explain the concept of a Survivor Series match to the uninitiated. That’s something you hardly ever see anymore: a basic explanation of WHAT IS GOING ON. Sometimes you need to slow things down a bit and tell people what’s going on. If you’re flipping through the channels and see something flashy like wrestling, you’re likely to stop but if you have no idea what’s going on, you’re not likely to stay. Gorilla Monsoon was a master at doing this.

Team HHH isn’t worried about being down 5-4 coming into the match (Matt was hurt remember) but Kane says he isn’t an underdog. We recap the Katie Vick angle (HHH: “Uh…..yeah sorry about that.) and Jeff reminds HHH that he put him in the hospital. HHH is sorry about that too and says tonight they can unite in the idea of doing something terrible to someone else.

Team HHH vs. Team Umaga

HHH, Kane, Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio

Umaga, Mr. Kennedy, MVP, Finlay, Big Daddy V

Kennedy’s mic doesn’t work for the live intro at first so we can only hear the ending. Jeff is IC Champion and MVP is US Champion. Remember that we’re starting at 5-4 because Matt is gone. Rey and Kennedy get things going with Kennedy using a rare power advantage to take over. Kennedy pounds in the corner but gets caught in a sunset bomb before it’s off to Jeff for a BIG pop. Rey and Jeff combine for some Poetry in Motion and Kennedy is in trouble.

Scratch that trouble as Jeff runs into an elbow (JBL: “That’ll knock the purple out of your hair!”) and it’s off to MVP. MVP limps a bit which apparently is a fake injury or something. Or maybe he’s making fun of Matt Hardy. I never cared for MVP so I really don’t care. Off to the 550lb Big Daddy V who uses his big fat man offense on Jeff, before stupidly throwing Jeff to the corner for a tag to Kane.

V almost immediately belly to belly suplexes Kane down for two but Kane comes back with some clotheslines in the corner. A top rope clothesline puts V down again but Kane has to chokeslam Finlay. V hits a Samoan Drop and a big elbow on Kane for the upset (yeah it’s an upset) elimination. HHH comes in and hits the facebuster on the monster but gets caught by a clothesline to shift the momentum right back.

We get the match that everyone is looking forward to in HHH vs. Umaga and the fans don’t react at all. Umaga takes the Game down with a belly to belly of his own and a headbutt has HHH in trouble. Umaga misses a middle rope headbutt and there’s the hot tag to Rey. Rey pounds away but almost immediately gets knocked down by the other monster. Mysterio goes after the leg but a rana is just a bad idea. Actually it is as he swings Umaga into the 619, followed by a springboard seated senton for two. Umaga is like BIG SAMOAN SCREAM and hits a spinning release Rock Bottom and the Spike to eliminate Rey.

So it’s all five villains vs. Jeff and HHH, and it’s not that the two superheroes are likely to run through all five and win or anything like that of course. Jeff vs. Kennedy starts things off and Hardy is in trouble quickly. I don’t think Jeff really gets going until he looks like he’s been thrown out of a building though. Jeff comes back with a dropkick but the slingshot dropkick in the corner misses due to an MVP assist. Cole talks about how that’s the second time MVP has caused that move to miss in three days. JBL: “Maybe MVP is just smarter than the Hardys.” I love it when JBL cuts Cole off at the knees. No one does it better.

Off to MVP who hooks a chinlock on Jeff which goes on for awhile. Jeff fights up but gets gets caught in a fireman’s carry drop. MVP starts talking trash to the fans and walks into a Twist of Fate to make it 4-2. Kennedy is in next and walks into an enziguri, which allows for the tag off to HHH. A high knee sets up a clothesline for two for HHH followed by a spinebsuter. HHH sees the human whale known as Big Daddy V coming and avoids an elbow which crushes Kennedy and allows HHH to make it 3-2.

V gets both superheroes on the floor and crushes Hardy against the post which probably put Jeff on the harder stuff for a few days. What the harder stuff for Jeff is I’m not sure but it has to be illegal. Back in the ring HHH and Hardy avoid a charge in the corner and hit a double DDT on V for the elimination. I’ve always wondered how basic moves when a monster is fresh is enough to eliminate them. These guys have no stamina at all.

It’s HHH/Jeff vs. Finlay/Umaga if you’re keeping track. Finaly comes in and pounds away on HHH while JBL talks about how great Finlay is. Does anyone ever have a bad thing to say about this guy? Here’s something bad to say about him: he does the stupidest looking spot in wrestling where he goes the middle rope and jumps into a boot in a move that is only designed for him to jump into a boot.

Hot tag brings in Jeff for a hard (and appropriate) Irish whip into the corner and the slingshot dropkick for two. Jeff goes to the apron and is immediately drilled by Umaga to give the evil foreigners control again. Finlay whips Jeff into the corner but gets caught by a Whisper in the Wind. A mule kick staggers Umaga and there’s the hot tag to HHH to meet Finlay. The high knee puts Finlay down and there’s a spinebuster to follow it up.

The Pedigree is loaded up but Umaga kicks HHH’s head off (there must be a great surgeon in WWE for all the times that happens) to break it up. The Celtic Cross (White Noise. It’s an Irish thing) is escaped and there’s the Pedigree to make it 2-1. Umaga DESTROYS HHH in the corner but the running attack misses by a mile. Pedigree, Swanton, we’re done.

Rating: B-. The match was pretty fun stuff but once we got down to 5-2, it was a matter of guessing what order the five were going out in rather than who was going to win. That being said, it’s probably the right move as HHH would move on from Umaga after this and take to feud with Orton. That feud would follow Hardy vs. Orton at the Rumble, so this was definitely a launching pad for the two survivors back to the main event.

Buy Smackdown vs. Raw! For some reason when they do the HIAC on the game as you would expect them to, Batista has a Smackdown tag title, a title he hadn’t held in almost two years, instead of the world title he currently held.

Shaquille O’Neal is here.

Hornswoggle is still nervous in the back. Tonight’s match is another of those tough love things from Vince. Speaking of the boss, he comes in and Hornswoggle immediately hugs his leg. This is one of those things that I think WWE missed about Horny: he acts like a child. HE HAS A FULL BEARD! THE GUY IS IN HIS TWENTIES! HORNSWOGGLE IS NOT A CHIL……why am I annoyed by this? It’s Horswoggle. Vince says he made this match because Horny is a McMahon and therefore has to rise to the occasion. He compares this to his battles with Turner and the US government. Vince gives him a pep talk and Horny is ready.

Here’s Shane McMahon to the arena, rocking a suit. Shane introduces Vince and apparently they’ll be in the corner of Horny tonight. Well that’s nice of them. JBL says this is going to be Biblical. Cole: “This isn’t the Bible.” Vince isn’t in his headset either. That’s the natural reaction that Cole has. Why does he get to keep his job for so long?

Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali

Runjin Singh, Khali’s manager, says we should have the wrestlers get together for the reading of the rules. This results in Singh talking over the referee as he translates. The fans want Shaq but they get the bell instead. The fans realize Shaq is here and Vince tells him to sit down. Vince tells the fans he doesn’t care what they want. Now there’s a shoot if there’s ever been one. Horny takes off his jacket and hat and kicks Singh in the face. Horny kicks at the legs of Khali…and wisely runs away. Singh runs his mouth some more and gets GREEN MIST IN THE FACE!

Horny dives on Singh and pounds away before hiding from Khali under the ring. The small guy finds that Irish club and calls Khali in but the stick is of course caught. Khali kicks him down but before the Vice Grip can go on, Finlay runs in for the save and face turn. This ran over three minutes but it doesn’t deserve to be rated. At least this did serve a purpose though, so it’s not a total failure. It should have been on Raw though.

Finlay beats up Singh and Khali with the club. It would eventually be revealed that Finlay was Horny’s father, but I’m not quite sure why Vince agreed to the whole thing in storyline.

Watch this DVD about Taker being 15-0! I guarantee you it won’t be out of date in about six months or so!

Alfonso Soriano, a baseball player, is here.

We recap Shawn vs. Orton. Shawn had the title won in a previous match but Orton intentionally got himself disqualified and then Punted Shawn to the shelf for a few months. Shawn admitted he wanted revenge but Vince banned the superkick for no apparent reason other than being evil.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending, if Orton gets DQ’ed the title changes, Shawn can get no more shots if he loses, and if Shawn attempts to use the Superkick, he loses the match. Got all that? Shawn almost immediately goes to the cravate and Orton spends nearly two minutes trying to fight out of it. Now that’s a (European) headlock. Orton escapes in the corner and Shawn raises his leg for the kick but the referee says that wasn’t an attempt. It’s going to be one of those referees I guess.

Orton drops down as Shawn runs the ropes so Shawn gets on Randy’s back and chokes away. The hold switches to a front facelock as they’re spending a lot of time in holds so far. Randy finally gets to the floor where Shawn fakes diving over the top so he can dropkick him through the ropes before faking ANOTHER dive and hitting an Asai Moonsault in a good sequence. Back in and Orton rolls through a crossbody for two before hitting an uppercut to take over.

Shawn fights up and throws on the required Sharpshooter and Orton finally makes the rope. I know when holds go on I’m not very descriptive, but what is there to say? You know what the hold looks like and it’s really hard to convey the drama of someone crawling to the ropes. Orton comes back with a thumb to the eye and snaps Shawn across the top rope to take over. The Elevated DDT hits for two. I didn’t remember Randy doing that move back then.

It’s off to a chinlock by Orton as the hold marathon continues. It’s not boring or bad but it’s a very different way of going about a match. Shawn fights back but walks into a dropkick for two. Shawn catches another dropkick in mid air and slams Randy down a few times before hitting the top rope elbow for two. By instinct, Shawn tunes up the band but he fakes Orton out by making him duck and grabs a rollup for two. Brilliant psychology there.

In a move I was shocked to see at the time, Shawn puts on a Crossface. Remember that this is just five months after Benoit, so that’s not a move you would have expected to see here. Orton finally gets a leg over the rope and Shawn looks spent from that not working. He tries the hold again but Randy clotheslines his head off for two. Orton hits the backbreaker and loads up the same Punt which kept Shawn out for five months.

Randy gets a running start but Shawn grabs an ankle lock with a grapevine to make Orton scream. Orton uses the good leg to kick Shawn away and break the hold. Why don’t more people do that to angle? Michaels tries the Figure Four but Orton kicks him into the post. Shawn pulls up the foot for the kick but since he has to stop, Orton hits the RKO for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B. I was digging the psychology here as Shawn had to come up with all kinds of ways to beat Orton instead of the RKO. It says a lot about Shawn that the only way they could have Orton be able to hang in a fight with him was to take away Shawn’s big move. Orton would hold the title for another five months or so until HHH (of course) took it away from him.

Orton demands that Shawn say Orton is the future but Shawn is pretty out of it. There’s the superkick we were waiting on.

Cole is talking about the main event and SAVE US. For those of you unfamiliar, this was a series of videos that popped up at random on shows with what looked like the Matrix announcing that someone was coming to SAVE US. It would be revealed tomorrow night that it was the return of Chris Jericho.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. Undertaker. Batista lost the belt to Undertaker at Wrestlemania and they feuded for the title on a few PPVs. After a cage match on Smackdown, Edge cashed in the MITB contract and won the title from Undertaker. Later, Edge was hurt and had to vacate the belt, which was won by Khali. Batista eventually beat Khali for the belt and Taker came back to challenge him for it.

They fought at Cyber Sunday with Batista winning, which made them 1-1 with a few draws. Taker wanted one more match and Batista was perfectly cool with that, but Taker wanted it in the Cell. See how that worked? It was a natural progression with the Cell being the FINAL match between them (one on one at least). That’s a logical progression that you rarely get anymore. This was an excellent feud which won Feud of the Year from Meltzer. I can’t argue with that at all as it was great.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Big Dave is defending. Taker charges to start and is caught in a headlock before getting run over by Big Dave. Taker shrugs it off and tries an early chokeslam but Batista fights out of it. This is one of those feuds where you don’t bother with the basic stuff and go with the big power moves because that’s all that’s going to have any effect. Taker clotheslines him down and pounds away in the corner. We’re still in the early going here so this doesn’t mean a lot yet.

The Snake Eyes and Big Boot get two for Taker and it’s chair time. Batista hits a BIG spear to take Undertaker down and gets the chair. That goes badly for the champ as Taker kicks the chair back into his face and gets two off a clothesline. They head outside and Taker keeps control with a solid shot into the steps. Batista gets raked against the Cell and there’s the legdrop on the apron.

To stay on the throat, Taker puts the chair over Batista’s throat and slams the bottom of the chair into the steps. The champ is bleeding from the mouth now. Back in and Taker covers by driving a forearm into the throat. Taker is kind of the heel in this match I think, which says A LOT about how over Batista was here. Back in Taker loads up Old School but Batista catches him in the spinebuster in a cool counter.

They slug it out and Batista takes over with a clothesline that gets two. Batista hits a powerslam and takes it back to the floor. They’ve done a solid job here of having both guys dominate for a long stretch which usually works well for a big time match. Taker whips Batista into the Cell to take over again so maybe what I just said is nonsense. Batista gets rammed head first into the Cell and things are starting to pick up.

A chair shot keeps Batista down and the champ is cut open on the forehead. Batista blocks Old School again and hits a superplex to put both guys down. As Big Dave is crawling over to Taker, the Dead Man tries the Hell’s Gate (triangle choke) but it’s not on full. Batista makes the rope and heads to the floor for a breather. Has Batista never watched a big time Taker match? He deserves the Taker Dive that he gets.

Taker picks up the steps and tries to ram Batista with them, but Batista pulls himself up using the cage and kicks them back into Taker’s face. Batista picks up the steps and just rams Taker in the head with them four or five times, busting the Dead Man open. Back in and Batista does the stupid thing of punching Taker in the corner and gets a Last Ride for his efforts. That only gets two and the pop isn’t huge from the crowd. They know we’re getting A LOT of finishers before a pin here.

There’s a chokeslam but it only gets two. The Tombstone is countered into a spinebuster for two and there’s another spinebuster for good measure. It’s table time and Batista easily powerbombs him through it….for two. There’s the pop from the crowd on the kickout that we were looking for. Now the Animal loads up the steps but Taker backdrops him onto said steps for two. The Tombstone hits….for two. If my memory is right, Batista and Shawn are the only two people to take all three of Taker’s finishers and kick out of all three. Batista might have done it more than once but I’m not sure.

Taker KILLS Batista with a Tombstone on the steps but at two, someone pulls the referee out of the ring. It’s the returning Edge, who I presume was hiding under the ring. He steals a camera and clocks Taker with it before hitting a Conchairto on the steps. Batista has no idea this is going on after the Tombstone. Edge pulls the champ on top and the pin is pretty much academic.

Rating: B+. This was very good but it never quite got to that level that they were hoping for it to I don’t think. The problem is this was match was based on respect instead of hatred which takes a lot out of a match like this. Edge would win the title in a triple threat next month and eventually lose it to Taker at Wrestlemania.

After the Cell is raised, Edge beats on Taker some more to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a nice surprise. The tag title match is some uninspired stuff but other than that (ignoring the non-match between Khali and Horny) there’s nothing bad on here at all. The Divas match is what it is and if the worst thing I have to do is look at Kelly Kelly and Maria in barely there shorts for five minutes, I’ve got a good show on my hands. The big matches delivered and the other matches aren’t bad so this is a solid show all around and worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz

Original: B-

Redo: C

Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla

Original: D

Redo: D

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Original: D

Redo: C-

Team HHH vs. Team Umaga

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Great Khali vs. Hornswoggle

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: D+

Redo: B

Batista vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

The main thing I’ve learned about myself from these redos is that I was a lot looser with my grades back then. The redo grades here are a lot more toned down and it’s a bit harder to please me now.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/16/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2007-batista-vs-undertaker-in-the-cell/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Smackdown
Date: June 8, 2007
Location: Amway Arena, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

One Night Stand has come and gone and not a lot has changed around here. Edge beat Batista to retain the World Title again and other than that….yeah that’s about it really. It wasn’t a major show, but now we need to get ready for Vengeance, which will be focused on the titles. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Edge for the Cutting Edge to get things going. Before we get started, Edge calms the people down by saying that he’ll be in action tonight. Well at least he should, as Vickie Guerrero is making a double main event and he better be involved. As for the Cutting Edge though, he has a guest who requested to be on the show: Vince McMahon! Vince is still looking all shaken up so Edge asks how he is feeling. He quotes the 23rd Psalm before changing the ending to say that thou aren’t with me.

Edge brings up the Draft and how Smackdown needs to be shaken up. Vince looks like he is having severe stomach pains as Edge sucks up to him, even handing him the World Title. That’s too far for Vince, who gets up to say that Edge is no better than John Cena or Bobby Lashley. Vengeance will be his, so at Vengeance, Edge is defending the title against Batista. Vince: “Life sucks and then you die.” The match is a Do Or Die match, though we don’t actually get an explanation of what that means. Vince is still rather odd here and it’s kind of awesome, though it still feels like it came up really fast.

Boogeyman vs. Mark Henry

Little Boogeyman is here too. Henry headbutts Boogeyman to start but seems to stagger himself a bit. We’re already in the bearhug on Boogeyman but Henry lets go to beat up Little Boogeyman. The World’s Strongest Slam finishes for Henry in a hurry.

Post match Henry beats up Little Boogeyman, including a World’s Strongest Slam and a splash.

Vickie Guerrero announces our main events: Edge vs. Chris Benoit and Batista vs. MVP.

Post break, Kristal comes in to see Vickie Guerrero to praise her for her work so far. Teddy Long says Vickie wasn’t bad for her first time but here is Vince McMahon to be all nuts and say that Kristal is Long’s problem. She’s half his age! Vince leaves and Teddy isn’t happy.

Jamie Noble/Daivari/Chavo Guerrero vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Brian Kendrick/Paul London

Yang and Noble start us off as the Jung Dragons explode (or at least wrestle). Noble gets armdragged into an armbar before it’s off to London to twist the arm as well. Chavo comes in and gets armdragged as well as they’re certainly moving fast. A monkey flip allows the tag to Yang, who comes in off a high crossbody.

Daivari comes in and stomps Yang down, followed by Noble doing the same. The chinlock goes on for a bit before Chavo grabs a suplex for two. Yang finally kicks Noble away though and the hot tag brings in Kendrick to clean house. Noble gets in a cheap shot though and everything breaks down. Yang hits a springboard dive to the floor, leaving Chavo to get caught in an assisted Sliced Bread for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was the kind of fun six man tag you would expect with the champion taking the pin, as you would probably also expect. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a title as intentionally devalued as the Cruiserweight Title, but it would be nice if WWE did anything to try and make it seem valuable.

Edge vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title and we’re told that Edge vs. Batista is on no matter what happens in the Draft. Feeling out process to start with Benoit working on an aggressive wristlock. An armdrag sends Edge into the corner so Benoit just stares at him. Benoit takes it to the mat again and grabs a chinlock, followed by an armbar. Back up and a hard whip into the corner gets two but Edge is in the ropes before the Crossface can go on. Edge has to fight his way out of a German suplex from the apron and we take a break.

Back with Benoit holding a cravate so Edge rakes the eyes to escape. Benoit sends him outside and hits a baseball slide into the barricade to put Edge right back in trouble. Edge is fine enough to whip him hard into the corner but Benoit headbutts his way out of a superplex attempt.

The Swan Dive misses though and Edge gets two. A big boot connects for the same and Edge works on the arm but Benoit scores with an enziguri. Benoit rolls the snap suplexes and then rolls the German suplexes for a bonus. The Swan Dive connects but Benoit can’t get the Crossface. Edge is back up for the spear but that gets countered into the Crossface, sending Edge to the rope. Back up and now the spear can connect to give Edge the pin.

Rating: B. This felt like a big time main event level match so well done at making something work. Sometimes you need to have two talented people wrestle a long match and that’s what we got here. These two have some great chemistry together and Benoit made Edge work hard to survive.

Ashley is getting her hair and makeup done when Jillian Hall comes up to say Ashley can’t look as good as she does. Jillian says if Ashley had talent, she wouldn’t have to interfere in other people’s matches. Ashley threatens violence if they wind up on the same show (tonight has no consequences apparently). A slap lets Jillian run away, with Ashley in pursuit.

Matt Hardy is signing something for charity when Vince McMahon comes up to ask how he is doing. Hardy talks about how brutal things have been for him lately but here is Ashley to knock Vince’s coffee onto him. This earns Matt a handicap match with Deuce N Domino. Matt leaves to get ready so Vince asks how Ashley is doing. She feels terrible but Vince laughs a lot and suspends her. Ashley breaks down in tears as Vince leaves.

Matt Hardy vs. Deuce N Domino

Non-title. The double stomping is on in a hurry but Matt manages to knock Domino outside. That leaves Deuce to kick Matt in the bad ribs for two and here’s Domino to clothesline Matt down again. Double stomping sends us to a break and we come back with Matt crotching Domino on top. A clothesline gets two on Deuce but Matt has to deal with the returning Domino. Matt can barely get up so Domino kicks him in the face for the pin.

Rating: C-. Matt tried to make this competitive but it was a match that didn’t need to go as long as it did. The Tag Team Champions shouldn’t have that much trouble beating up a banged up Matt Hardy, though it was nice to see him fighting back for a bit. There was a story of Matt fighting his way through the pain but just coming up short, so this could have been a lot worse.

MVP brags about how great he is and how he has everything these people don’t, including a title. He is straight up ballin and he’ll prove it to Batista tonight.

Commentary recaps Vince McMahon’s insanity.

MVP vs. Batista

Non-title. They start slowly with MVP getting in a quick shot and posing, earning himself a drive into the corner. MVP starts kicking at the leg and gets knocked down again as Batista is right back with a clothesline. We take a break and come back with MVP getting whipped hard into the corner. A suplex gives Batista two but he misses a charge in the corner so MVP can kick away.

MVP’s big running kick sends Batista outside and it’s a bunch of right hands back inside. The catapult sends Batista throat first into the bottom rope for two and there’s another kick to the head to send him outside. Back in again and MVP grabs a chinlock with a knee in the back, followed by some knees to the face. Somehow that’s enough to make Batista fight back, including the running clotheslines in the corner. The swinging Boss Man Slam connects but here is Edge to jump Batista for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was a bit of a surprise as they got some time to set up a good match. I was worried that they were going to have MVP take the pin here so well done on going with the good ending. Edge vs. Batista doesn’t quite need to go to a third match but that’s about all they can do at this point. Pretty good main event here, mainly due to not making any dumb decisions.

Post match Batista goes after Edge, who runs from the threat of a Batista Bomb to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Another fairly strong show here, though your taste in the latest Vince stuff may vary. Vince being so out of it after losing the ECW World Title is a way they can go, but it still feels really rushed. That being said, crazy Vince walking around tormenting people is something that can work out well and it’s adding some spice to what has otherwise been a pretty dull start to the summer.

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Smackdown
Date: June 1, 2007
Location: John Labatt Centre, London, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the last Smackdown before One Night Stand but we also have to finish the build to Saturday Night’s Main Event, because the one thing that WWE needed at this point is more content. Last week saw Batista become the #1 contender again, meaning he gets a shot at Edge and the World Title in a cage on Sunday. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Chris Benoit/Matt Hardy vs. MVP/The Miz

The graphic says Mike Mizanin but commentary calls him the Miz. Benoit and MVP lock up to start with MVP getting pummeled into the corner. It’s off to Hardy for a back elbow and elbow drop for two so Miz comes in to get beaten up as well. A backbreaker gives Benoit two, followed by a snap suplex for the same. Miz sends Benoit into the corner though and rams him head first into the mat for two.

The Mizard of Oz gets two on Benoit, who suplexes his way out of trouble again. That’s enough for the tag to Hardy, who pulls Miz out of the corner into a sitout powerbomb for two of his own. Everything breaks down and the villains are cleared out as we take a break. Back with Miz hammering away and cutting off Matt’s comeback with a clothesline. MVP’s cheap shot from the apron keeps Matt in trouble and it’s time for a nerve hold to keep things slow.

The running boot to the face in the corner gets two more on Matt as the beating is on in full. Miz snaps Matt’s throat across the middle rope for two and the chinlock goes on. MVP comes back in but Matt finally gets up an elbow in the corner, setting up the running bulldog. The hot tag brings in Benoit to clean house but Miz kicks off the Sharpshooter attempt. That’s fine with Benoit, who settles for the Crossface and the tap as Matt dives onto MVP.

Rating: C+. This got some time and it makes a lot of sense to put Miz in there with some talented people. Miz needs ring time and a way to get built up, with a match like this working rather well. It’s a good sign that he was able to hold up his part of the match, as the new, serious version is working much faster than I would have expected.

Finlay gives Hornswoggle a pep talk for his match with Little Boogeyman, because that’s a thing.

Jillian Hall vs. Michelle McCool

Feeling out process to start with Michelle flipping out of an early headscissors. Michelle grabs a cradle, which is in no way a reason for her to twist and contort. Jillian sends her outside and chokes away inside as the fans are not exactly interested. We hit the backbreaker for a bit before Michelle comes back with a belly to belly for two. Jillian takes her down and hits the front flip legdrop for three near falls but here is Ashley Massaro for a distraction. That’s enough for Michelle to grab a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for the pin.

Rating: D+. This is a case where you have to consider the particulars. It wasn’t a very good match, but it felt like a match. They were doing actual moves and looking fairly competent at them, which is a lot better than a series of hair pulls and brawling. You can see the women coming a long way and that’s rather impressive.

Boogeyman fires up Little Boogeyman.

Little Boogeyman vs. Hornswoggle

Boogeyman is here too. JBL: “Koko B. Ware would look like Andre the Giant in this match.” Little Boogeyman spits worms into Hornswoggle’s hat to start and then knocks Hornswoggle down. The gyrating elbow gets two and it’s time to throw worms at Hornswoggle. That’s fine with Hornswoggle, who spits mist back at Little Boogeyman.

Cue Finlay from underneath the ring to throw Little Boogeyman back inside, setting up a brawl with Boogeyman. Hornswoggle dives off the apron to hammer on Boogeyman for a weird visual, leaving Finlay to Shillelagh Little Boogeyman. Hornswoggle debuts the Tadpole Splash for the pin to end a surprisingly wild match.

Mark Henry is going to hurt Kane tonight.

Raw Rebound.

Kane vs. Mark Henry

Kane kicks him to the floor so Henry comes back in for the drive into the corner. The clubbing forearms into the running powerslam plants Kane and there’s the running splash in the corner. Henry misses a splash though and Kane drops an elbow into a legdrop for two. Kane scores with the top rope clothesline but Henry bails to the floor at the threat of a chokeslam. That’s fine with Kane, who dropkicks him through the ropes, only to get caught in a bearhug. Henry drives him hard into the post and that’s enough for the countout.

Rating: C-. This was a way to keep Henry strong while also protecting Kane for a future rematch so they covered two ideas at once. Henry is being built up as a major force on Smackdown and a big win over Kane would go a long way to get him there. This was the first step on that path so not a bad start, even if the match wasn’t great.

Post match Kane sits up and chases Henry off.

Edge isn’t scared of Batista and is ready for him on the Cutting Edge later tonight.

Deuce N Domino aren’t worried about the Draft because they aren’t going into the army and getting buzzcuts. The interviewer explains it and the champs aren’t happy.

Tag Team Titles: Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. William Regal/Dave Taylor vs. Deuce N Domino

Deuce N Domino are defending. Regal elbows Domino in the face to start and hands it off to Taylor to uppercut Domino down. London comes into headlock Taylor before shifting to the arm, with Kendrick coming in off the top to stay on it. Taylor uppercuts his way to freedom though and it’s off to Deuce via a blind tag. That’s fine with London, who armdrags Deuce down and hands it off to Kendrick in a hurry. Taylor punches him in the face to escape (as you do) but Kendrick crossbodies him over the top for the crash to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Kendrick and Deuce slowing things back down until Kendrick has to try to skin the cat. Domino breaks that up with a kick to the ribs though and the champs take over on Kendrick. Back in and Domino grabs a cobra clutch until Taylor tags himself back in. Kendrick is tossed outside in a crash but Regal is smart enough to throw him back inside to break up the countout.

We hit the chinlock back inside with Kendrick having to put a boot on the ropes for a break. An enziguri finally gives Kendrick a breather but Regal comes back in to wreck him with a half nelson suplex (that landing was nasty). The villains get in a fight of their own though and Kendrick gets over for the tag to London. House is cleaned in a hurry but Cherry hits London with her rollerskate so Domino can steal the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B-. This got time and was enough of a different kind of match to keep things feeling fresh. You don’t see triple threat tag matches very often around here so it was nice to have something different for a change. Deuce N Domino have established themselves as champions, though I’m not sure who they are supposed to face next, as depth isn’t really a priority for the tag division.

One Night Stand rundown, including Mark Henry vs. Kane in a lumberjack match.

Teddy Long congratulates Vickie Guerrero on coming up with the lumberjack match. Kristal is worried about being Drafted to another show, but Long would give up being GM to be with her. Vickie says she would run the show in his honor if he had to leave. She even lets the two of them leave early tonight and volunteers to run the show (all ten minutes left of it) for Teddy. Sure why not.

It’s time for the Cutting Edge and Edge wastes no time in bringing out Batista as his guest. Edge makes it clear that this is not going to get physical but he isn’t scared of Batista. Maybe Batista is the one intimidated….so he takes off his jacket. He’s just a bit hot, but Edge is looking a bit scared.

Batista talks about how Edge stole the title from Undertaker but Edge says he’s the champ. Batista: “Until One Night Stand.” Edge wishes him luck, so Batista does the same and slaps him in the face. Edge says he doesn’t need it so Batista says he does and slaps Edge again. We go back and forth with YES YOU DO/NO I DON’T plus some shoving. Edge says he isn’t scared, but Batista says he should be and punched Edge down to end the show. They’re doing what they can with almost no story here and it’s going as well as can be expected.

Overall Rating: C. This show took a different path from last week in that they were trying to build things up as well as they could while also giving us a good amount of in-ring action. What we got here was entertaining enough, though I’m really looking forward to getting past Sunday and on to something fresh. For now though, it a nice go home show for a not so great looking pay per view.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 28, 2007
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 16,176
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the start of a big week in WWE as we have the three regular TV shows, plus a special Saturday Night’s Main Event and One Night Stand this weekend. That makes this show week the go home show for Sunday, which doesn’t need a lot more set up but maybe they have something good planned. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

It’s Memorial Day, so we get the tribute to the fallen soldiers, including Taps.

Opening sequence.

Battle Royal

Candice Michelle, Mickie James, Maria, Jillian Hall, Layla, Brooke, Kelly Kelly, Michelle McCool, Kristal, Melina

Non-title and it’s a Bikini Beach Blast battle royal, meaning they’re all in bikinis with water guns and pool toys. Melina gets attacked (with the water guns and pool toys) to start and then the water balloons are brought out. Kelly seems to have to adjust her top as the fans want puppies. Kristal is thrown out (through the ropes, because over the top is too much for this kind of match) and there goes Brooke as we slow down for various “weapon” shots. There goes Maria and it’s time to weakly hit each other with pool noodles. Layla is tossed as Lawler says he can’t stand up at the moment.

McCool pours a bucket of water over Kelly, who seems to like it, and then tosses her out. Melina and Jillian go after Mickie and hit her with a water gun for the elimination. Jillian dumps Candice and we’re down to Jillian, Melina and McCool. The villains put McCool on the mat and stretch her by the limbs but she gets back up and clotheslines them down (JR: “Now that’ll knock the barbecue sauce right off of you!”). McCool throws Jillian out and hits a dropkick, but since Melina can’t fall through the ropes, she drops down and rolls out to give McCool the win.

Rating: D. I get it, but my goodness this stuff is cringe. This match actually got about six minutes so Lawler could lose his mind about a thousand times, which got as annoying as you would imagine. There are obvious reasons to put this stuff on TV but egads it does not exactly hold up well.

Here is Shane McMahon to announce that this is the unofficial start of summer. That put some excitement in the air and that is the case in WWE as well. In two weeks, we will be having the first ever tri-branded WWE Draft, featuring Raw, Smackdown and ECW. Any superstar, champion, legend and even leprechaun can be drafted to any show.

Change is inevitable, save for the case of Vince McMahon. At One Night Stand, Vince is going to beat Bobby Lashley, so tonight Shane is going to do the same, as Lashley teams with John Cena against Shane, Umaga and the Great Khali. Tonight, Lashley is finding out what they call Shane the Money. Dancing ensues.

Hardys/Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team/Johnny Nitro/Kenny Dykstra

Nitro and Cade start things off with Cade elbowing him in the face to take over early. It’s off to Matt to take Shelton into the corner so Jeff can come in for the first cover. A dropkick to the back of the seated Benjamin lets Matt come back in for the middle rope elbow as this is one sided so far. Haas comes in for a change and gets thrown into the corner for some elbows from Cade and Murdoch.

As JR suggests that the Hardys, as in the champions, are the real World’s Greatest Tag Team, Haas and Benjamin are sent outside for a huge dive from Murdoch to blow Lawler’s mind (Lawler: “IT WAS LIKE A FLYING COW!”). We take a break and come back with Jeff hitting the Whisper in the Wind to Dykstra but Benjamin gets in a kick to the head to take over. Dykstra hits a heck of a clothesline for two, setting up a backbreaker. Nitro adds a slingshot elbow and Matt has to come in for the save.

Benjamin kicks Jeff in the face for two and we hit the chinlock with a bodyscissors. It’s back to Haas for a belly to belly suplex and a chinlock as we hear that One Night Stand will be all extreme rules matches. Dykstra grabs his own chinlock and bites Jeff in the head for a bonus. That’s enough to get Jeff to jawbreak his way to freedom and the diving tag brings Matt back in. A double DDT (one regular, one reverse) plants Nitro and Dykstra as everything breaks down. The Twist of Fate into the Swanton finishes Dykstra as Lawler can’t believe Cade and Murdoch didn’t turn on the Hardys.

Rating: B-. This was one of those matches that helps move things forward while keeping things fresh. You have so many people in the match that you can have a few pairings you don’t usually get while also solidifying Cade and Murdoch’s face turn (or at least what feels like one for the time being). Good stuff here, which shouldn’t be a surprise given the talent involved.

Post match Benjamin says the Hardys didn’t pin he and Haas, so the challenge is on for One Night Stand. Matt says it’s on, and we’ll make it a ladder match, because of course they will.

Wrestlemania is coming to Orlando.

John Cena reiterates that he is not scared of the Great Khali and would say…..some weird noises to the Punjabi Frankenstein. That’s translated to Cena still not being afraid but he is neither deaf nor invincible. While he isn’t scared, he isn’t sure if he can do the impossible. Yes he made Khali tap, but there was doubt over whether he won or lost.

You can throw out the submissions at One Night Stand because Cena is going to have to put Great Khali on his shoulders and throw him down for the three seconds. Cena isn’t sure if he can do that but he takes great pride in silencing his critics. At One Night Stand, Cena can and he will. This was classic Cena, as he mocked Khali at first, then told the story of the match and brought the fired up promo.

Santino Marella is excited for the Draft and Maria laughs at his accent, which yes, is Italian. He asks if Maria is ok from the battle royal and they seem interested in each other. With Santino gone, Randy Orton pops up to talk about Rob Van Dam. It seems that Van Dam is not happy with Orton injuring Shawn Michaels, but that was one of the highlights of Orton’s career. He felt bad about injuring Shawn, but he won’t about hurting Van Dam.

Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam

They go with the grappling to start as Orton grabs a headlock and blocks a top wristlock attempt. An armdrag frustrates Orton and Van Dam uses his legs to grab a rollup for two. A monkey flip sends Orton flying and there’s a kick to the head. They head outside with Orton getting the better of a slugout, setting up the big dropkick off the top and into the barricade.

We take a break and come back with Orton working on the chinlock. Orton pulls him down by the hair to cut off a comeback attempt and it’s time for the circle stomp. Another chinlock is broken up again and Van Dam hits the springboard kick to the face for the double knockdown. Van Dam is up first and kicks him down again, setting up Rolling Thunder.

Orton’s poke to the eye just earns him a step over kick to the face but Van Dam is a little shaky as he goes up top. Van Dam kicks him off the apron but comes back in with the hanging DDT for two. The referee stops to check on Van Dam, who can’t get up to his feet and looks gone. The Punt connects and the referee calls the match as Van Dam is out of it.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of violent Orton that can make for some good stuff as he can be absolutely lethal when he is given the chance. Taking out Michaels and Van Dam in short succession is pretty impressive and should set him up for something else later. Having Van Dam’s facials make it seem like he had been hit in the head with a boulder made this even better.

Post match Orton hits the RKO to make it worse.

Ric Flair/Torrie Wilson vs. Carlito/Victoria

Leave it to Flair to wind up with Torrie out of the whole thing. Flair takes Carlito into the corner to start the chopping but it’s off to Victoria to slap Flair in the face. Lawler: “Lay it on her! She wants it!” Flair takes her down and tries the Figure Four, with Carlito having to make the save. It’s back to Carlito to stomp away at the head and leg, setting up the half crab. Victoria hits Carlito by mistake though and Torrie gets to come in and take over. An X Factor gets two with Carlito making the save. Carlito comes in, kisses Torrie, and hits the Backstabber for the pin (JR: “I KNOW IT’S LEGAL BUT I DON’T LIKE IT!”).

Rating: D+. This feud is running out of gas in a hurry as Carlito has yet to make me believe he is a real threat to Flair. They have fought each other a few times now and it has yet to be anything better than just ok. Both guys need to move on already, as Flair can find something better to do and Carlito can find a good haircut.

Shane McMahon has to break up an argument between Great Khali and Umaga. Shane: “Worst prom couple ever.” He tells them to take out John Cena and Bobby Lashley, but make sure he gets the pin.

One Night Stand/Saturday Night’s Main Event rundowns, edited off of Peacock due to Puddle of Mud.

It’s time for the Kiss Cam with Maria but Chris Masters interrupts. He wants Santino Marella to take the Masterlock Challenge. Masters threatens Maria so cue Marella for the brawl, which ends in the Masterlock. This has been a very Maria frequent show.

Shane McMahon/Umaga/Great Khali vs. John Cena/Bobby Lashley

Umaga sends Cena into the corner to start but misses a charge. Cena scores with the Throwback for a fast two but he gets thrown into the corner to start the hammering. There are the LET’S GO CENA/CENA SUCKS chants as Khali kicks Cena in the head. Shane comes in to stomp away and it’s Umaga getting in some right hands. The Samoan drop gives Umaga a delayed two and Khali drops a leg.

Now Shane is willing to stick around for the bodyscissors and shots to the back of Cena’s head to make things worse. That’s broken up with the ProtoBomb and it’s Lashley coming in to pick up the pace. Lashley runs Umaga over but can’t slam Khali as everything breaks down. The Samoan Spike puts Cena down on the floor and there’s the chokeslam to Lashley. Shane’s top rope elbow hits Lashley for the pin.

Rating: C. Just a quick way to bring in as many people as you can for the main event, which went well enough. Shane getting to gloat works well, as Lashley can shut up either Shane or Vince McMahon to even things up. The match was pretty immaterial, but it isn’t like losing to Umaga and Khali is a big defeat. Lashley didn’t do much until the end but it worked out fine.

Vince McMahon comes out to celebrate with the villains to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It was better than last week but not by much. This did a good enough job of making me want to see the Raw half of One Night Stand, as they are betting on the gimmicks and stipulations to make the show work. That’s about all you can do at this point in the cycle of feuds so at least they’re going with the smartest route possible.

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Smackdown
Date: May 25, 2007
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re done with Judgment Day and now we have less than two weeks to go before One Night Stand. Edge cheated to defeat Batista and retain the Smackdown World Title so we might be in for a rematch at the next pay per view. I’m not sure what else we’ll be getting but building to a low level pay per view can be rough. Let’s get to it.

Here is Judgment Day if you need a recap.

The opening video, set to Ozzy Osborne’s I Don’t Wanna Stop, looks at Edge becoming World Heavyweight Champion, and retaining against Batista on Sunday.

Here is Edge to get things going. Edge talks about the praise Batista vs. Undertaker has been receiving but where did it get them? Nowhere, other than leaving them vulnerable for the Ultimate Opportunist. Edge beat Undertaker and Batista 1-2-3 and here he is as the World Heavyweight Champion. This is the Rated R Era and it DOES NOT SUCK, despite what the fans say. Cue Teddy Long to announce a #1 contenders match for tonight, with Kane vs. Finlay vs. Mark Henry vs. Batista. Edge can go with that, but Teddy ups the ante by putting the title match inside a steel cage.

Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. William Regal/Dave Taylor

Hold on though as here are Deuce N Domino and Cherry to watch from their car. Taylor headlocks Kendrick down to start but gets monkey flipped for his effort. A dropkick puts Taylor on the floor but he counters a headscissors into a toss out to the floor. Regal comes in to fire off some knees to the face (simple yet effective), setting up the wishbone split. Kendrick manages to dodge a shot though and the hot tag brings in London to clean house. A spinwheel kick drops Regal but Domino shoves London off the top for the DQ.

Rating: C. London and Kendrick vs. Deuce N Domino needs to go far away but I’ll take this over half of a team vs. half of a team. Regal and Taylor are the kind of team who can always have a place on the roster as you can always use some brawlers. This was a perfectly fine match and that’s all they could hope for with so little time.

Post match the big brawl is on.

We look back at Randy Orton injuring Shawn Michaels at Judgment Day.

Hornswoggle has stolen the World Heavyweight Title and Edge is giving chase. They run into Finlay, who makes Hornswoggle give it back to Edge, for now.

Jillian Hall is singing in the ring when Boogeyman, with full entrance, comes out but she somehow doesn’t notice him until he’s in the ring. Jillian bails but Michelle McCool throws her back in for the worming.

Teddy Long officially makes Vickie Guerrero his assistant and she’s rather happy. Vickie leaves and Krystal offers to thank Teddy for his decision.

Matt Hardy vs. Miz

Feeling out process to start with JBL ranting about how evil the Guerreros are. Miz elbows his way out of a hammerlock and bends Matt’s neck around the rope. The cravate goes on and Hardy can’t even roll his way to freedom. An elbow drop misses but Miz is fine enough to pull him down by the hair for two more.

Matt fights up with forearms to the face but gets caught with the running corner clothesline for another near fall. The chinlock goes on so Matt fights up with right hands and the clothesline. Matt’s middle rope elbow gets two and the Side Effect is good for the same. A right hand sets up the Twist of Fate (which Miz takes like a swinging neckbreaker) for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a perfectly basic but nicely done match and I’ll absolutely take that. Above all else, Miz looked WAY more comfortable in there, even if Matt was probably walking him through every step. That’s why you put him in there with a veteran like Hardy. Well done here, and one of Miz’s most impressive performances, just because of how big a step forward it seemed to be.

Mark Henry is ready to hurt people and wants the World Title match at One Night Stand.

Here is MVP for his United States Championship celebration. In quite a few words, MVP says he told us so and now he’s right here as US Champion. Then he just flat out says “I told you so”. There is one thing missing from this celebration, so here is Chris Benoit to look really serious. MVP sticks out his hand and Benoit gives him a very firm shake but MVP goes into a bragging speech about beating Benoit two straight falls. Now he wants Benoit to raise his hand because he is better than Benoit on any given day. Instead it’s some rolling German suplexes to send MVP bailing.

We look at John Cena surviving against Great Khali at Judgment Day.

Maryse throws us to the Throw It On Me video.

Kane promises to win tonight.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Chavo Guerrero

Non-title. Yang takes him into the corner to start but Chavo slips away for a standoff. They fight over arm control until Chavo takes him down, only to get reversed into a headlock. Back up and Chavo dropkicks the knee out and starts cranking away on the leg. Yang fights up but gets pulled down into a stretch muffler. Make that a half crab as Chavo is at least mixing things up a bit. Back up and Yang hits an enziguri to start the comeback in a hurry. Chavo manages to grab the Three Amigos but the frog splash is broken up. Yang gets knocked away so Chavo tries a sunset bomb, which is reversed into a hurricanrana for the pin.

Rating: C-. I don’t care. This is the same thing that WWE has done for the better part of ever with this title and it isn’t going to change a freaking thing. The champ loses to set up a title match where the title is retained and it is forgotten days later as we start the whole thing over again. Both guys are completely acceptable in the ring but this is the most tired and played out idea WWE has had in years.

Batista promises to win.

Batista vs. Mark Henry vs. Finlay vs. Kane

The winner gets a title shot against Edge, on commentary, at One Night Stand in a cage. It’s a brawl to start with Batista and Henry fighting on the floor as the other two stay inside. We take a break and come back with everyone in the ring again until Kane and Finlay head outside. That leaves Henry to hit a quick World’s Strongest Slam on Batista with Finlay making the same.

Kane goes up top for a clothesline to put Henry down and Batista’s top rope shoulder hits Henry as well. That’s still not enough to keep Henry down as he fights up and hammers on Kane. Batista drops Henry and spinebusters Kane but Henry is back up again. Finlay is back in and cleans house with the Shillelagh but Batista is fine enough to hit the Batista Bomb for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C+. Take four monsters (or at least a good brawler in Finlay’s case) and have them hit each other over and over again. That’s what we got here and it was a solid way to set up the rematch. Batista had to get around Henry and the Shillelagh, plus the always dangerous Kane to get back at Edge. It feels like he had to do something here and the match worked.

Batista stares down at Edge to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Much like Raw, this felt like a bridge between pay per views, neither of which was all that important in the first place. The wrestling was mostly ok at best and they set things up, but it isn’t like any of this felt important. They need to get done with One Night Stand so we can move on to something fresh, because this crop of stories is pretty much out of gas.

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Smackdown
Date: May 11, 2007
Location: Mellon Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s a big show this time around with the Undertaker defending the World Title against Batista inside a cage. That alone should be enough to carry the show and….well that’s about what it’s going to do as that’s the only major thing set for the show. Unless you could spoilers that is, as WWE has already said what happens this time. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at Undertaker vs. Batista and how we got to the cage match. I have a feeling we’re getting a bunch of history tonight.

Opening sequence.

The cage is already around the ring.

Chris Benoit/Matt Hardy vs. Finlay/MVP

They either edited the heck out of something or the cage had a rocket attached to it, as there is no way they raised that thing up so fast. Benoit and Finlay lock up to push each other around the ring to start. It’s already off to MVP to shoulder Benoit down but he has to escape an early Crossface attempt. Matt comes in to drop an elbow and it’s already back to Benoit to stomp away in the corner. Finlay has to break up the cover off a suplex so Matt comes back in for a neckbreaker. Benoit misses a baseball slide to Finlay but clotheslines him down instead. Cue Hornswoggle to….do nothing as we take a break.

Back with Hardy bulldogging Finlay for two and cranking on a headlock. It’s back to MVP to stomp away but Hardy suplexes him for two, with Finlay having to make another save. Matt elbows MVP off the top and actually hits a moonsault, only to bang up his knee in the process. MVP is smart enough to go right after the knee before handing it off to Finlay for a half crab.

That’s broken up but MVP is right there to cut him off again. That lasts all of two seconds though before it’s the hot tag to bring in Benoit to clean house. The rolling German suplexes get two but the Swan Dive misses. MVP comes in, walks into a dragon screw legwhip, and gets jackknife covered to give Benoit the fast pin.

Rating: C+. This was good enough, though MVP losing AGAIN is getting old. It’s ok to let him steal a pin in a tag match but he has to lose there too. It’s one thing to get pinned by Chris Benoit but losing to him over and over takes away a lot from MVP. Not a bad tag match though, which is one thing you can almost always depend on: throwing talented wrestlers out there and giving them time to do something.

Here’s another video on Batista vs. Undertaker.

Next week: Ozzy Osbourne performs the Judgment Day theme song.

Jillian Hall vs. Michelle McCool

Jillian sings a slowed down version of her theme song until Michelle’s entrance cuts her off. Michelle hammers away to start and it’s a catfight with more punching than usual. The reverse chinlock sends Jillian over to the ropes but she is right back with a cartwheel into an elbow. The chinlock has McCool in trouble but she’s back up with an elbow to the face. A jackknife rollup gives McCool two and a belly to belly gets the same. Jillian gets in some elbows in the corner but charges into a backbreaker to give Michelle the pin.

Rating: D+. No it wasn’t good, but you can tell that they are trying to have a good match. There is a world of difference than this and some of the nonsense that you would see out of the Divas division. They need a lot more time and polish, but you can see the effort and some of the basics in there. In other words, Finlay continues to be a wizard with this stuff.

Krystal is rubbing Teddy Long’s shoulders and asks if he has found an assistant yet. He hasn’t found anyone appropriate yet but she has an idea. We’ll have to hear about that later though as two hillbillies from West Virginia come in. They’re here to fight but Teddy says if they can get to Baltimore next week, they can have a match. Long mentions their name as the Dalton Boys as they leave. Krystal goes back to shoulder rubbing and suggests Vickie Guerrero as the assistant. Teddy is skeptical about hiring a Guerrero but Krystal talks him into letting her have an interview next week. That’s good enough for Krystal.

More on Undertaker vs. Batista.

Raw Rebound.

Ashley joins us from Stamford and wants to get back to Smackdown. If nothing else, she wants to get her hands on Jillian and to see Paul London and Brian Kendrick get their Tag Team Titles back.

Domino vs. Paul London

I know I make fun of these teams having a bunch of singles matches but COME ON ALREADY. Deuce, Cherry and Brian Kendrick are at ringside too. London dodges a double leg dive to start but gets shoved away. The referee breaks that up so Domino kicks him in the ribs, only to get dropkicked down.

London scores with a moonsault to the floor (which he missed to cost his team the titles a few weeks ago), only to get snapmared back inside. Domino grabs a cobra clutch but London is back up with a cradle for two. A headscissors into a basement dropkick connects and a snap spinwheel kick drops Domino again. Deuce tries to offer a distraction so London hits the dropsault onto Domino for the pin.

Rating: C. Not too bad here, but e pluribus gads I’m sick of seeing this match. It’s been done to death at this point and I don’t see any reason to want to watch it again. Hopefully we get to the title rematch so Deuce N Domino can retain and move on to ANYTHING else. These teams have fine matches, but the interest has been depleted after seeing some combination of it so many times.

Another Undertaker vs. Batista video.

Snitsky video.

Kane vs. Dave Taylor

Boogeyman, Little Boogeyman and William Regal are here too. Kane appears to be a mixture of happy and confused by the Boogeymen. They start fast with Kane hitting a hard slam as commentary is busy freaking out about the people at ringside. Taylor gets a boot up in the corner and hammers away until Kane kicks him down. Regal trips Kane and feigns innocence in a way that feels so appropriate for him. Kane is back up with the sidewalk slam and the top rope clothesline as Boogeyman and Regal get in a fight on the floor. The chokeslam finishes Taylor.

Rating: C-. About what you would expect here and that was fine enough. Kane and Boogeyman are growing on me as the freaky tag team as it’s a bit of a different direction for both of them. If nothing else, seeing Regal and Taylor being disturbed by what they’re looking at every week has been great. Not a good match, but another part of an entertaining story.

Undertaker beat Batista at Wrestlemania.

The Condemned.

Undertaker and Batista went to a draw in a Last Man Standing match at Backlash.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is defending in a cage with pinfall, submission or escape to win. Batista has a bad leg and Undertaker has a bad arm to slow both of them down a bit. They go to the slugout to start until Undertaker kicks him in the face. A clothesline gives Batista two but a shot to the bad leg breaks up the Batista Bomb. Undertaker gets knocked down and it’s a top rope shoulder to give Batista two.

We take a break and come back with Batista breaking up an escape attempt but getting hit in the face for his efforts. Batista takes him down and hammers away before a low blow drops Undertaker again. The shoulders and clothesline in the corner let Batista climb but Undertaker hits him in the leg for a crotching. The running big boot knocks Batista into the cage but Batista kicks him down as well as we take a break.

Back again with Batista blasting him with a clothesline for two. Undertaker hits some clotheslines of his own and it’s Snake Eyes into the big boot. There’s the chokeslam for a close two but Batista sends him into the cage. We take another break and come back with the busted open Undertaker walking into a spinebuster for two.

Batista, apparently having never watched an Undertaker match, hammers away in the corner and gets Last Rided for two. Undertaker can’t quite get out of the door so they both go up top for a slugout. Batista knocks him down and climbs up but Undertaker is right there to meet him. They both climb down and drop to the floor….at the same time.

Rating: B. This was a heck of a fight and as usual between these two, it felt like a war with the question being who could survive, let alone win. These two have some great chemistry together and it was on display again here. They feel like each others’ equals and given that they have had more draws than decisive wins in their rivalry, it feels that way in the ring too.

The referees go over to the monitors to look and the feet hit the ground at the same time so the match is officially a draw, with the Undertaker retaining the title. The cage is raised…and here is Mark Henry to jump Undertaker. Henry sends him into the post and crushes him with the splash inside. That’s quite the bad situation for Undertaker and now it’s about to get worse.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Undertaker

Edge is challenging via Money in the Bank cash in. The bell rings and Edge covers for two but Undertaker can’t sit up. He pulls himself up on the ropes and it’s the spear to give Edge the pin and the title.

Post match Edge hits him with the briefcase and poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The cage match alone is worth the watch and the rest of the show continues its hot streak. That’s going to be it for the Undertaker for a long time though as the arm injury was a torn bicep, putting him out of action for several months. That leaves Batista to carry the show again, and now he’ll be able to feud with Edge for the time being. Solid show here, but it feels like the start of a new era, which might not be so great.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Smackdown
Date: April 27, 2007
Location: Earl’s Court, London, England
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re overseas for the go home show for Backlash and that has all the makings for a pretty dull show. I’m sure the big names will be around, but how much are they actually going to do in this situation? This doesn’t feel like a spot for a bunch of top level stuff, though I would have said something similar for this week’s Raw. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open in the back with Batista beating up Mr. Kennedy. A rake to the eyes gives Kennedy a quick breather until someone who might have been Finlay makes the save, taking the cameraman out in the process. Batista and Finlay brawl into the arena until Kennedy comes in to go after Batista’s taped up thigh. Then the gong hits and the lights go out, with Undertaker appearing in the ring. Batista turns to yell at the villains and Undertaker disappears.

Post break Mr. Kennedy and Finlay want to see Undertaker vs. Batista tonight but Teddy Long puts them in the tag match instead. Let’s make that No DQ too. You would think the bad guys would learn one day.

Kane/Boogeyman vs. Dave Taylor/William Regal

Kane unloads on Regal in the corner and it’s still weird to hear the fans cheering for Regal for once. Taylor comes in and gets choked in the corner as well so it’s back to Regal to actually punch Kane down. As JBL wonders how Boogeyman gets through customs, Kane hits a side slam into the top rope clothesline for two on Regal. Taylor gets knocked outside and we take a break.

Back with Taylor taking over on Regal’s arm and grabbing a crossface chickenwing. It’s back to Regal to hammer away some more as JBL is still going on about the customs. Kane belly to bellies his way to freedom but Taylor cuts him off again. There’s a double suplex to keep Kane in trouble but Taylor misses a middle rope spinning crossbody. Everything breaks down and Kane kicks Regal into a chokebomb for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here other than the freak show appeal, which is perfectly fine for a one off team. Despite commentary hyping up the idea that Kane and Boogeyman could go after the Tag Team Titles, it doesn’t feel like anything more than a quick one off match to blow off Kane vs. Regal/Taylor for good.

Post match Regal and Taylor bail from the threat of worms.

The Condemned opens today. Now get it onto DVD and then out of people’s minds so we can get away from it for good.

Deuce vs. Brian Kendrick

Domino, Cherry and Paul London are here too. Kendrick avoids some shots to the face to start and grabs a headlock. The headlock takeover lets Kendrick grind away a bit but Deuce fights up and puts on a headlock of his own. That’s broken up and Kendrick dropkicks him into the corner, only to get taken down again.

An elbow drop gives Deuce two and he punches Kendrick in the face to break up a sunset flip attempt. The double arm crank goes on but Kendrick is back up with a headscissors into an enziguri. Sliced Bread connects but Cherry offers a distraction, allowing Domino to go after the injured London. Deuce kicks Kendrick in the face for the pin.

Rating: C. Basic tag match here as it is clear that London and Kendrick’s time is over. They held the titles for the better part of ever so it is time to let someone else do something for the time being. There is nothing wrong with that either, as it isn’t like there is anyone else to challenge for the titles at the moment.

We look back at the opening brawl to set up tonight’s main event.

Deuce and Domino don’t feel like answering questions so they make like a banana and split.

Here is MVP with another of his international challenges. This week, he is facing two champions, both of whom are better than Chris Benoit. First up is a guy like Braveheart: the Scottish Champion, Hamlet Macbeth!

MVP vs. Hamlet Macbeth

Non-title and Macbeth (What bloody man is that?) has Braveheart face paint and a kilt to go with what looks like a bad fitting white sweater. MVP elbows and clotheslines him down to start the stomping. A neckbreaker lets MVP stomp away (as he makes assurance double sure) but the comeback is on, even as Macbeth loses his wig (this is a sorry sight). MVP takes his head off with a clothesline and hits the running boot in the corner, knocking him silly with one fell swoop. The Playmaker wraps Macbeth up, and what’s done cannot be undone. Hopefully he can bear a charmed life.

Post match MVP wants his second competitor, but gets a surprise challenger.

Chris Benoit vs. MVP

Non-title. Benoit suplexes him down for an early two and sends MVP hard into the corner. The charge hits boots though and MVP kicks him outside as we take a break. We come back with Benoit fighting out of a chinlock but getting knocked right back down. A suplex gives Benoit two and the chinlock goes on.

Back up and Benoit snaps off a German suplex into the Crossface, sending MVP straight to the rope. A superplex gets some delayed near falls and the Sharpshooter goes on, with MVP going to the rope again. Another Crossface sets up a third rope break so Benoit rolls some German suplexes. MVP rolls outside before the headbutt can launch though and takes the countout.

Rating: C+. It was intense while it lasted and MVP walking out makes the most sense. There is no need for him to get banged up when he has a title match coming up in two days so why take the beating here? MVP should win the title on Sunday as there is little for him to do if he doesn’t finally step up.

Teddy Long and Kristal are kissing in his office and declare their love for each other. They would love to spend some more time with each other so maybe Teddy could find someone to help him with his work around here. Kristal seems to approve.

Mark Henry is still on his way back.

Jillian Hall comes out to sing a song for the newly single Prince William until someone cuts her off (edited off of Peacock).

Jillian Hall vs. Michelle McCool

Some hair takedowns have Michelle in trouble to start but a cartwheel splash hits raised knees. Michelle slugs away and gets in an elbow to the face, setting up a Russian legsweep ala Brad Armstrong. Not that it mattes as Jillian hits an X Factor for the fast pin.

Post match Jillian goes to sing again but Michelle beats her up.

Backlash rundown.

Mr. Kennedy/Finlay vs. Batista/Undertaker

No DQ. Before the match, Kennedy talks about being a REAL American, where they play REAL football. Undertaker and Batista jump them before the bell and we start fast. Batista knees away at Finlay in the corner before it’s off to Undertaker and Kennedy. Undertaker actually gets caught in the corner so Kennedy can hammer away, only to get clotheslined down for two. Batista comes back in and catches Finlay on top before clearing the ring as we take a break.

Back with Batista hammering on Kennedy and handing it off to Undertaker. Old School is broken up but Undertaker is right back up with a boot to the face. Back to back Old Schools connect for two and Batista sends Finlay into the steps. Undertaker throws Kennedy outside and hits the big boot to the side of the head. Finlay gets thrown over the announcers’ table and we lose Cole for a bit.

Back in and Batista gets to beat up Kennedy, who eventually goes after the leg. The Shillelagh to the knee takes Batista down again and Undertaker is content to let Batista get beaten up. A spear gives Batista a breather but Finlay makes the save. Undertaker gets knocked off the apron and that’s enough to bring him back inside to clean house. Chokeslams plant both villains but Batista comes back in for the spinebuster to finish Kennedy, much to Undertaker’s annoyance.

Rating: C+. This was just a way to have Undertaker and Batista in the same ring before Backlash, with Undertaker being pleased at Batista’s pain. Kennedy and Finlay could have been any two good enough heels to fill in these spots and it would have worked out fine, so it isn’t like there is much to complain about.

Post match Batista says no one keeps him down for ten and he’s taking his title back. Undertaker says he’s coming for Batista’s soul to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. For a two hour commercial for half of Backlash, this worked out pretty well. You shouldn’t have been expecting much from this show and while what we got was good enough, it isn’t like there is anything worth seeing. Backlash has been ready to go for a few weeks now and this was about not screwing up on the way there. Good enough show, but just get us to the pay per view already.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.