IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 18, 2005
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,258
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

We’re less than two weeks away from Backlash and that means things are going to start picking up around here, including what should be a big deal with the show taking place in the Garden. Maybe Batista can get some significant time this week, assuming HHH is willing to let the World Champion in on his time. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Jim Ross is in Eric Bischoff’s office where the boss won’t let him out of his match with HHH. As a bit of a reprieve though, the match will be No DQ and Batista can be in JR’s corner. So yes, the World Champion is now playing second fiddle to an announcer facing HHH in the main event. I’m sure you can guess how the match is going to go, but is this really the best usage of the monster champion?

Opening sequence.

There’s no special MSG setup. I miss that thing.

Edge vs. Chris Benoit

Good thing these two are awesome together because they fight a lot. Benoit still has a banged up arm so Edge jumps him on the way in and pounds away. You don’t forearm Benoit in the back though as he’s right back with the rolling German suplexes to rock Edge. The Swan Dive misses though and it’s off to a chinlock with a knee in Benoit’s back. Thankfully Edge sees the big bandage on the arm and switches to an armbar instead.

That’s reversed into the Crossface but Edge is in the ropes soon enough. They head outside instead and Benoit clotheslines him over the barricade so they can fight into the crowd. It heads into the back with Benoit getting the better of it as the match is thrown out somewhere in there.

Rating: C. This was too short to matter or go anywhere (other than to the back that is) but it was more about setting up some big gimmick match down the line. Edge getting a nice win to really make him feel like a bigger deal is going to help him, as Money in the Bank doesn’t have quite the impact yet.

Referees and Sgt. Slaughter break things up.

Post break the Divas are looking at their swimsuit magazine (as large groups of good looking women do) when Edge and Benoit brawl through a door to break it up. Bischoff comes in to make a Last Man Standing match for next week.

Here’s Trish Stratus for a chat. She wants to talk about what happened with Kane and Lita last week so she would like Lita out here to clear the air. Cue Lita on a crutch and she gets the loudest booing in her career to date. Trish wants to make peace between the two of them but hang on as we pause for the YOU SCREWED MATT chants. After threatening to leave if the fans don’t calm down, Trish talks about how she loves Lita despite what has happened between them. Fans: “WE WANT MATT!”

Lita doesn’t buy it and doesn’t accept her apology. Much like Trish, payback is going to be a b****. The fans don’t react to that so here’s Kane as Lita hits Trish with her crutch. Kane chases Trish up the ramp but Viscera of all people comes out for the save. Crowd: “LET’S GO MABEL!” The Samoan drop and splash crush Kane and Viscera carries Trish off while licking his lips. Oh…..this isn’t going to go well in any form for anyone involved.

Post break Trish thanks Viscera, who puts her up against the wall and makes some, ahem, suggestions about how she can thank him. Viscera: “Glad to be of service, but I’ll be more glad when you service me.” There is talk of mixing business with pleasure but Trish would like to take it slowly. Viscera kisses her anyway and Trish looks rather shaken. Coach: “YOU GO BOY!”

Heart Throbs vs. William Regal/Tajiri

Non-title and oh the Heart Throbs. These two were one of the most over, popular teams that OVW (then known as the Heartbreakers) had ever seen as they were something close to male strippers and had a dancing manager named Mo Green. They came out to It’s Raining Men and the whole thing was so goofy and over the top that they became the hottest thing in OVW. It wasn’t going to work in a big arena or on Raw, but it’s hard not to be a little disappointed after what they did in OVW.

Anyway, they (Romeo and Antonio) dance out and Regal and Tajiri’s stunned looks are great. Romeo dances at Regal to start so it’s off to Tajiri. That means a Crane Kick pose so Tajiri grabs a wristlock to take Romeo down. Antonio comes in but gets taken into the corner for the tag off to Regal, who gets taken into the corner as well. Antonio pounds away at Regal’s back, which has a grand total of no effect. Tajiri comes back in and hammers away until Regal snaps Romeo’s throat across the top. A spinning sunset flip gives Tajiri the easy pin.

Rating: D. So as great as the gimmick is, there isn’t much that they can do once the bell rings. That’s kind of an important part and the lack of skill was on full display here. They’re perfectly watchable but it’s nothing beyond that and it was showing badly. I’ll take this result over the champs losing though so this could have been worse.

Post match the Heart Throbs beat the champs down. I wouldn’t be overly intimidated.

Batista isn’t here and JR is panicking.

HHH has dealt with Batista by talking to the limo company.

Muhammad Hassan doesn’t trust police who look at him strangely. He and Daivari aren’t worried about Hulk Hogan either because Hogan is just another selfish American.

Muhammad Hassan vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn wastes no time in rushing the ring to start hammering away as the fans are WAY into Michaels here (not surprising). They slug it out and the fans switch over to a HOGAN chant. A running knee lift staggers Hassan but Daivari’s distraction lets Hassan get in his own shot.

Shawn’s back is driven into the apron to slow him down and we take a break. Back with Hassan hitting something like a reverse Eye of the Hurricane for two and commencing to choke. The chinlock goes on for all of a few seconds before Shawn makes the comeback with the usual. The top rope elbow connects but Daivari has to be slammed off the top and the DQ is on.

Rating: D+. Another not great in-ring performance from Hassan but he’s far better than he was a few months back. Having him against the bigger names helps a lot, though there is only so much that can be done when he doesn’t have the best matches. If they can figure out a way to mix up his promos a bit he could be a big deal, but for now it’s just a slow improvement.

Post match the beatdown is on until Hulk Hogan comes in for the save to blow the roof off the place. Posing ensues with Shawn wearing Hassan’s head cover. This goes on for a good while, but the reaction makes it worth it.

It’s time for the Masterlock Challenge with Chris Masters putting up $1000 cash to anyone in the crowd who can break his full nelson. The fan, named Roman, comes in and says he’s tough because he’s from New York. This goes exactly as you would expect it to.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Simon Dean

Non-title. Dean’s pre-match promo is broken up by Shelton’s entrance, which is probably best for everyone. Before the match, we get a clip from last week with Chris Jericho saying Fozzy’s new single is called Shelton Is A Little B****. Cue Jericho to say that he gets a title shot at Backlash, but he has something a little better. Jericho brings out Fozzy’s guitarist and actually performs Shelton Is A Little B****.

As the song goes on, Simon jumps Shelton from behind and goes up top, with the referee ringing the bell just before a top rope clothesline. What kind of a nitwit thinks that’s a fair start to a match? The chinlock goes on for a bit, followed by some stomping for good measure. Shelton fights up and hits a northern lights suplex for two to start the comeback. The Stinger Splash and exploder finish Dean in a hurry.

Rating: D. Oh come on, what could they have done to follow up on that song? Jericho stole the show here, as usual, and Shelton getting beaten up by Dean wasn’t the most thrilling idea in the first place. Shelton vs. Jericho should be good and I can go with the story, though I’d prefer more of that song.

Smackdown Rebound.

Vince wants to announce the return of a big idea but Christian cuts him off, saying that we know about the return of the Diva Search. That earns him the threat of unemployment, followed by the announcement of the return of the Draft in about a month. Christian likes the idea and thinks he should be sent to Smackdown to challenge John Cena. Vince thinks Christian belongs in the main event too, so next week he can face Batista.

Backlash rundown. That card has come together out of nowhere.

HHH promises to hit Batista with the Pedigree and get the title back at Backlash. Tonight, JR gets to find out what the Pedigree means. We get a video on the Pedigree and I have to wonder how long HHH has had this waiting.

Jim Ross vs. HHH

No DQ and no Batista as this is going to go badly. They stare at each other a bit with HHH offering a handshake, with Lawler knowing where this is going. A right hand to the stomach finally gives us something and it’s the slow beating, until JR manages to get in a shot to the face. HHH knocks him down again and yells at the referee as JR is busted open. Lawler says this isn’t fair as HHH has been World Champion more times than you can count. I think I can count to ten man.

JR loses his Oklahoma jersey and the slow beating continues as the crowd is just gone. Lawler has finally had enough (he must have gotten sick of the counting) and goes to the ring, which draws Ric Flair in as well. That earns Lawler a Pedigree of his own but here’s Batista’s limo (with Batista driving) to make something happen. Batista comes in for the save and counters the Pedigree, setting up a chair to HHH’s head. JR is pulled on top for the pin.

Rating: F. Well that was bad. What was the point of this supposed to be? Making it clear that HHH is an evil villain without making him have an actual match? I guess JR pinning him is supposed to be humiliating but it’s not like Batista beating HHH Up, especially with a chair, is that big of a deal. This should have been about two minutes long instead of eleven and, again, Batista gets a limited reaction because he doesn’t show up until the end of the show and the fans are dead from the bad match. What a great way to push the new champ.

The mild celebration ends the show.

Overall Rating: D-. What an awful show with the Heart Throbs being one of the highlights. The only decent match was Edge vs. Benoit, which was there to set up another match in the future. I don’t know if they were messed up because they were heading to Europe soon or what but this was a disaster on almost all grounds. Backlash is looking ok enough, but they need a much better TV show next week if they want it to have a chance. Horrible show here and one of the worst in a good while.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

There were four wrestlers present: Brian Pillman Jr. (remember that this is about 15 minutes south of Cincinnati), Billy Gunn, Jim Cornette and Jim Ross. Marty Jannetty had to cancel due to a family emergency.

The ballpark is rather small so there wasn’t much to be seen. I was walking around a bit before the game and saw Gunn and Pillman walking towards an office. A kid asked Gunn for his autograph and he said you can get them during the third inning. Then he took a step, turned around and signed the kid’s ball. That was a nice touch, as my previous interaction with Gunn hadn’t been the best in the world.

The line for the autographs was rather long, though they kept things moving fairly well. You could get any item signed so I grabbed a Freedom baseball and mini bat while in the line (smart move to sell them there) so Gunn/Pillman could sign the ball and Cornette could sign the bat (Cornette with an item that can be used to beat people senselessly seemed appropriate).

As you can see, I got JR to sign a bottle of his chipolte ketchup (signature on top, WWE HOF on the bottom), which is rather tasty. The annoying part there though was the Freedom attendant started talking to JR about barbecue sauce while I was just left standing there as he signed. Kind of defeats the purpose no?

All four were rather nice with Gunn being more approachable than I was expecting. Cornette was his usual chatty self and was telling stories in between fans coming up. Pillman was incredibly nice and asked every fan’s name. I mentioned meeting him before at WrestleCon and he looked straight at me and was clearly listening while I talked. You don’t get that a lot of the time.

JR was the big one here as I’ve never gotten to meet him before. He was appreciative that I said I liked his AEW performance and that he was the first voice I remember in wrestling (Clash of the Champions XII when Sting was confronted by the REAL Black Scorpion). That got a smile out of him and he told me to keep listening.

Other highlights included JR explaining the territory system to a young fan, Billy Gunn demonstrating the Rockabilly dance, some funny New Age Outlaw stories, Cornette on why WWE won the war (hint: it has to do with WCW being stupid), Gunn and Cornette (politely) going at it over the Double Or Nothing battle royal and Cornette offering Gunn money to beat up Joey Ryan during their upcoming match.

The best of all though was a question Cornette got about whether he would save Joey Ryan or Vince Russo if they were both drowning and he only had one life preserver.

Cornette: “I’d wear both of them myself, stand on their heads and make sure they drowned. Then I’d give Russo mouth to mouth so he could come back to life and I could do it again.”

All in all, a rather fun night for $70 total. I had a good time and got to meet some stars, one of which I’ve been trying to meet for years.

In which we talk about Torrie Wilson and probably get in trouble for it, plus Jim Ross and all the Raw and Smackdown happenings.

https://mightynorcal.podbean.com/e/wwp-58-rowdy-raging-ronnie-rousey-torrie-hall-of-fame-wwe-dropping-pg-aew-gets-its-man/

Also, make sure to check us out on the Wrestling Rumors Facebook page tomorrow for our live Fastlane preview (we’ll have the audio fixed).

https://www.facebook.com/wrestlingrumors/

Commentary needs to tell us things.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-cool-tell-us/

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 29, 2003
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Al Snow, Jonathan Coachman

It’s a big night tonight because THE BATTLING ANNOUNCERS ARE BACK! This time around we have it’s in the form of Jim Ross vs. Jonathan Coachman for the commentary job, because Steve Austin can just do that again. Oh and there’s a ladder match for the Intercontinental Title with Christian defending against Rob Van Dam. Let’s get to it.

Need a recap?  Here’s last week’s show.

Opening sequence.

Snow and Coach, already at the desk, get another entrance this week.

Here are Chris Jericho and Eric Bischoff, who come out together, for the Highlight Reel. Bischoff gets things going by announcing that Austin is suspended for a week due to the unprovoked attack last week. Totally fair point actually. Jericho thinks that’s too light and blames Austin for costing him the World Title last week. It turns out that Bischoff isn’t the guest so here’s Jim Ross.

Jericho isn’t happy with it but tonight JR could get his job back. However, Bischoff thinks Coach should get to pick the stipulation. Coach says he’s thought about whipping JR before (That’s not something I’ve ever needed to know.) so we’ll make it a country whipping match. Jericho brings up Kane burning JR’s back a few months ago, which could make a whipping match all the more painful. That sounds great to Bischoff but JR says they better hope he wins tonight, because they all suck.

In response to that horrible comeback, Jericho slaps on the Walls of Jericho but here’s the suspended Austin for the save. Austin knew something like this would happen but Bischoff sends security after him. They grab his drinking arm (both of them actually) and that means a Stunner to give the fans something to cheer. I’m not seeing that happening when JR is wrestling so take what you can get.

Post break, Austin has been put outside with security blocking his entrance.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Test/Scott Steiner

Test and Steiner are challenging. The sleeveless top, black skirt and tie look works quite well for Stacy Keibler. Steiner and Test get in an argument over who starts so Bubba pulls Test in and pounds away in the corner. Test avoids a shot and goes to tag Steiner, who takes a step back down the steps.

The pumphandle slam is easily blocked but Test can break up the What’s Up. D-Von isn’t as adept at breaking up the pumphandle but Steiner breaks it up at two. Stacy takes a chair away from Test and gets shoved down, leaving Scott to take a Bubba Bomb. With Test still mad, Stacy chairs him in the head, setting up the 3D to retain in short order.

Post match Steiner says he doesn’t like Test but he doesn’t forgive Stacy for calling all these problems. He gives her a belly to belly, making Steiner a heel who is teaming with another heel who he doesn’t like while being managed by a face. Again: weird year.

Post break, we see some replays of the suplex to Stacy. Snow wants to know why director Kevin Dunn is showing this.

Here’s Kane to rant about Shane McMahon. Last week he tasted Shane’s blood and loved it. This is just the beginning….so here’s Hurricane to interrupt. Hurricane shows us a clip of the two of them winning the Tag Team Titles last year. Less than a year later, Kane has become a psychopathic monster.

Kane says Hurricane represents everything Kane used to hate about himself and invites Hurricane to come down and see what the monster is like. That’s a no (what a horrible superhero) so Kane goes after a kid in the front row. The kid needs to feel his pain and that’s enough for Hurricane to come in for the save. That just leads to a beatdown until Rosey comes in for the real save….which actually works?

Earlier today, Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade were playing the new WWE game when Maven wants to join in. La Resistance comes in and calls that stupid. Cade INSULTS THE FRENCH ARMY IN WORLD WAR TWO (Dupree: “That’s two hundred years ago!”) and a six man seems to be made for later.

La Resistance vs. Garrison Cade/Maven/Mark Jindrak

The good guys clean house to start until a flag shot to the back cuts Cade off. The French villains take turns with some shots to the jaw before Conway has to break up a sunset flip at two. Conway grabs a chinlock until a suplex gets Cade out of trouble. Maven gets the hot tag and fires off some dropkicks as everything breaks down. The double spinebuster plants Maven but Jindrak makes the save (Snow: “He’s just stuck with a really bad name. I tried to get him to change it.”). Jindrak and Cade’s Hart Attack with a dropkick pins Conway.

Rating: D. I get the youth movement idea but Jindrak is the only one with the slightest glimmer of potential. Maven is still a pair of eyebrows with a bad wrestler attached and Garrison Cade is named Garrison Cade. It’s not like La Resistance is much better but at least they have characters.

Austin is still trying to get in when Rob Van Dam comes up to thank him for giving Rob the ladder match tonight. Van Dam leaves and Austin runs into a good sized guy who is a bit star struck. His name is Jon Heidenreich and he’s tried to be a wrestler for ten years. Jon has a ticket, and that gets Austin’s attention. They go off to have a little talk.

HHH joins us via satellite to talk about paranoia sinking in on Goldberg. He knows Goldberg will crack but he’d like to push it along a bit. We pan to the side where HHH has a briefcase. If he had a dollar for every time someone chanted GOLDBERG, he’d be a rich man. It turns out that he is a rich man, so whoever can take Goldberg out gets $100,000. The game just got a lot more interesting. If you consider 1983 Mid-Atlantic more interesting (and I could see how you would), that’s true.

Jim Ross vs. Jonathan Coachman

The commentary jobs are on the line and they both have leather straps but you win via pin or submission. Jericho comes out for commentary and JR hits a quick whip shot to send Coach outside (though he maintains his hat). Coach gets in an argument with a fan (Jericho calls it ballyhooing) and gets whipped back into the ring. Jericho compares Coach to a young Tito Santana (YOU TAKE THAT BACK!) and now it’s time for Coach to get in his own whips.

As JR mouths some rather severe swearing, Coach whips him down even more until a low blow cuts him off. JR takes Coach’s shirt off and more whipping ensues. Bischoff tries to run in and gets whipped as well, leaving JR to hit a Stunner (Well, kind of. JR went down like he was giving a Diamond Cutter but Coach sold it like a Stunner.) for the pin.

Rating: F. Oh what else were you expecting? Well actually some more interference, though at least Coach isn’t a wrestler so this wasn’t the biggest stretch in the world. That being said, what in the world was the point of this whole story? To continue Bischoff vs. Austin? Well fine, but there was NOTHING else they could do other than this stupid announcers feud? I don’t quite buy that.

Lawler comes in to celebrate and of course Austin, with the ticket, jumps the barricade to raise JR’s hand. Jericho has been on a nearly continuous rant about how unfair this is, showing how he really could be an awesome heel announcer if he’d ever need to lower himself like that. Austin finally cuts him off by saying he’ll drink to this so beer is consumed.

Video on Wrestlemania tickets going on sale. It’s still cool.

The beatdown is on with Lita easily escaping a double suplex before Trish can get in for the save. Molly and Gail get beaten up for a bit until Victoria runs in for the real beatdown. Gail rips up the book and shoves the pages in Lita’s mouth. This has some more potential, partially because there’s an actual division being put together instead of just three people.

Kane vs. The Hurricane

Hurricane jumps him on the floor and hits a flip dive from the top. Back in and a Shining Wizard (which was a knee that barely grazed the back of Kane’s head) gets two. That’s about it from Hurricane though as Kane sends him into the corner and finishes with the chokeslam in less than a minute.

Kane gives him another chokeslam for good measure.

Goldberg isn’t worried about the bounty and beats up Steven Richards as he tries to collect.

Ric Flair/Randy Orton vs. Goldberg/Shawn Michaels

Goldberg shoves Flair down to start and double clotheslines both villains down. It’s off to so Shawn for a clothesline to put Flair on the floor but Orton catches him with the backbreaker. The slow beating continues until Flair’s chops wake Shawn up for a bit but Orton cuts him off with a dropkick. It’s back to Flair who struts a lot, allowing Shawn to nip up and hit the flying forearm. The hot tag brings in Goldberg for a series of backdrops and a spear to Flair. Shawn superkicks Orton to the floor but here’s Rodney Mack with a chair to Goldberg for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was a formula tag match to advance the bounty angle. There’s nothing wrong with that and at least they didn’t spend a ton of time on something like this. Goldberg having to fight off various people until he gets to the big fight is fine, especially when there’s about two months before the next time Raw is on pay per view.

Goldberg runs through Mack but Mark Henry destroys Shawn, busting him open and dragging him up the steps.

Post break Teddy Long praises Mark, who wants Goldberg next week.

Christian is walking through the back and blows a kiss to Trish and Lita before running into Tommy Dreamer. Tommy calls him a CLB so Christian rants about how awesome he is and steals Dreamer’s apple.

Video on the Rundown.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Rob Van Dam

Christian is defending in a ladder match. Rob easily wins a battle of kicks to start but Christian won’t let him set up an early ladder. Instead it’s Christian picking one up so Rob hits a flip dive over the top onto the ladder onto Christian. Well that was rather stupid. Since that did more damage to Rob than Christian, the champ bridges a ladder between the barricade and the steps. Christian is dropped ribs first onto the ladder and the spinning kick to the back makes things even worse.

There’s a ladder set up in the corner so of course Van Dam is whipped hard into it for his efforts. A catapult sends Rob face first into the ladder but he’s right back up with a delayed gorilla press onto the ladder. Rob has always been deceptively strong and the athleticism makes it even less noticeable. Christian gets knocked outside so Rob can make the first climb, only to be taken down by the reverse DDT off the ladder.

That’s not enough to get the title though as Christian is sent into the ladder in the corner, followed by a Cannonball (called Rolling Thunder, which is close enough). Rob uses the ladder for a Van Daminator but the Five Star only hits ladder. A hard running shot with the ladder puts Van Dam on the floor again but he comes back in with a top rope kick to knock it over again. The double climb leads to a slugout with both guys falling, only to have Rob catch himself on the other ladder. A Five Star from that ladder is enough for Rob to go up and get the title for the win.

Rating: B. While it’s no classic, this was the kind of match that Raw has been needing: hard hitting, a lot of fun and with a good guy winning in the end. Oh and a lack of HHH or Evolution helped too. This isn’t the kind of match that anyone is going to remember as anything great, but it was what they should have done on this show, especially as the main event instead of the big tag match.

Overall Rating: D. The main event helps this a lot but it’s very clear that we’re just waiting on HHH to heal up and come get his title back. Other than that….what is going on around here? You have the Austin vs. Bischoff feud which seems to tie into most of the stories on the show but can’t actually lead to a match because Austin can’t wrestle and Bischoff is Bischoff. Everything else seems to be just going in whatever direction with no end in sight. That’s fine if the stuff is good, but that’s not the case here. Not the worst, but they need a direction.

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Unforgiven 2003
Date: September 21, 2003
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 10,347
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s another Raw exclusive pay per view, based around the idea of finding the least interesting story possible. Is it Shane McMahon and his electric testicles vs. Kane or a barely mobile HHH managing to drag out his second World Title defense against Goldberg? You know, that guy known for his long matches. There’s also the option of the battling announcers, which is always a big winner. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how no one is good or evil anymore. This comes after months of JR and King talking about how Kane is the embodiment of evil. We might be in for a very long night. This turns into a HHH vs. Goldberg video with HHH talking about all the nobodies that Goldberg beat. One of those nobodies was Kevin Nash, which is a major win that HHH constantly brags about. We’re ninety seconds in and the opening video has already contradicted the show twice.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance/Rob Conway vs. Dudley Boyz

La Resistance is defending and this is a handicap tables match where every member has to go through to win. The title and handicap stipulations were both added on Heat, because why would we need to know important stuff like that? For some reason Lilian introduces the team as Bubba Ray Dudley and D-Von Dudley instead of the collective name. As usual, tags are required in a tables match so it’s D-Von and Dupree slugging it out to start.

D-Von is taken into the corner where Conway stomps away, only to get taken down for a legdrop. Bubba comes in and ties Conway in the Tree of Woe for some hard chops to the chest. The announcers’ reaction: a discussion on the French loving Jerry Lewis. The double flapjack puts Conway on the floor but it’s too early for tables. Must be the pay per view time scale.

Conway gets in a cheap shot from the apron and the champs start taking over again. The USA chants begin as Conway grabs a sleeper to calm them right back down. Thankfully Bubba breaks things up with a belly to back suplex, allowing the tag off to D-Von. The reverse 3D plants Conway and NOW it’s table time. The champs are smart enough to let the table be set before jumping the Dudleys though and it’s D-Von being thrown through first.

Bubba reverses a suplex and puts Grenier through but gets jumped by Conway. D-Von is back up and the Dudleys throw Conway over the top through a table with his head smacking an edge ala Spike. That’s really not a spot you need to recreate. Dupree has the French flag broken over his head and the 3D gives the Dudleys the titles back.

Rating: C-. This was the logical way to go and hopefully the end of a really boring feud. It’s a good choice for an opener as well with the fans loving the table stuff and the good old Americans getting the titles back from the EVIL Frenchmen. Not the most interesting story in the world but the right way to end the feud.

We get a music video dedicated to Scott Steiner vs. Test. This story has gone on for the better part of ever with Stacy Keibler being traded back and forth between them several times. Basically Test wants Stacy to make him money and Steiner wants, well, Stacy. Tonight it’s another match to determine who gets Stacy’s “services”. Why this story has gone on since the spring isn’t clear but hopefully it ends here. I mean, it won’t, but it would be nice.

Test vs. Scott Steiner

If Test can beat Steiner, he gets Scott’s services as well. Stacy gets her own entrance, which certainly makes her seem free in the first place. I love that a good chunk of Test’s Titantron video is Stacy looking disgusted at him. I’m assuming he approved of the content and that’s the best he could get? Stacy gives Steiner a hug to start and Test gets in a few cheap shots to take over.

The clothesline and the pushup elbow send Test outside, where Stacy slaps him for good measure. Back in and Test grabs a full nelson slam for two, followed by some pushups of his own. We hit the sleeper on Steiner until he suplexes a diving Test for a breather. Steiner almost drops him on a tiger bomb attempt but a low blow cuts Scott off. Stacy shoves the boots off the ropes and snaps Test’s throat across the top for a close two.

With that not working, Stacy pops up on the apron and hikes up the skirt to distract Test. I mean, it might be more effective if she wasn’t showing it to the crowd but close enough. It doesn’t work anyway as Test kicks out of a rollup and boots Steiner in the face for two more. With that not working, Test pulls off a turnbuckle pad so he can grab a chair but Stacy takes it away. She hits Steiner by mistake though (well duh), setting up the big boot to give Test the pin.

Rating: D-. Really, what is the fascination with this story? The matches have been terrible and the story is just dumb but the thing is still going. I get that they probably have a lot of money tied up in Steiner but my goodness, is Test really their best option here? Bad match, worse ending, and unfortunately it looks like we’re STILL not done.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels. Orton is the legend killer and Shawn is a legend. You can piece the rest together for yourself.

Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn wrestles him to the mat to start and slaps Orton’s head a bit. Some strutting and a WOO annoy Flair and we hit the headlock takeover/headscissor escape sequence. We hear about the various horrible things Orton has done to various legends and confirm that Moolah is NOT dead.

Shawn throws him over the top but Orton skins the cat to steal a trademark and scores with a dropkick for two. A clothesline gets Shawn out of trouble and it’s a Cactus Clothesline with Shawn skinning the cat back as well. Shawn hits a high crossbody to the floor as the pace stays fast enough to start. Back in and Shawn charges into a boot in the corner, allowing Orton to hammer away in the corner.

A hard charge sends Shawn shoulder first into the post and NOW we’ll get to the meat of the match, starting with Flair posting the bad arm. Another Flair distraction lets Orton post the shoulder again and the beating is on. Back in and Orton cranks on the arm as JR talks about Shawn’s matches against Vader. I’ll try to figure out the connection as Shawn fights up to his feet.

Orton puts his feet on Shawn’s face and pulls on the arm to keep him in trouble. A small package (with some horribly loud spot calling) gives Shawn two and the forearm into the nipup starts the comeback. Shawn sends him over the top though, followed by a whip into the barricade. Flair’s distraction fails and Shawn hits a top rope ax handle for two. Sweet Chin Music is countered into the RKO but the delayed cover is only good for two.

Orton’s high crossbody takes too long and only hits mat, meaning Flair (who is DRENCHED in sweat) has to fail at interfering again. Shawn drops the top rope elbow for two and now Sweet Chin Music connects, only to have Flair put the foot on the ropes. The referee waves off the pin and in the distraction, Flair slips Orton some brass knuckles. A knockout punch later and Orton gets the upset pin.

Rating: B-. It’s probably too early for Orton to get the clean win so this was the best option that they had. I’m not seeing the need for the false pin but Orton hung in there long enough to make himself look better. The arm and shoulder stuff stopped mattering about halfway through but to be fair, Shawn’s offense isn’t heavily arm based in the first place. Good match with the right result though.

Chris Jericho recruits La Resistance in his crusade against Steve Austin.

Gail Kim/Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus/Lita

Gail and Molly are jealous of Trish so they’ve beaten her up several times due to a variety of bad partners. Lita returned on Raw after over a year on the shelf and here we are. King during Trish’s entrance: “Her, me, whipped cream, handcuffs. Any questions?” Several, starting with can we please get passed this nonsense already?

The villains jump them to start but Trish and Lita fight them off and hit stereo baseball slides. Lita armdrags Gail as we settle down, followed by a suplex into a nip up. Trish’s top rope Thesz press lets her hammer away and Molly won’t tag out. Gail sends Trish outside though and Trish comes up holding her back.

Molly cranks on a modified dragon sleeper before Gail grabs one of her own. Something like a Sliced Bread #2 gets Trish out of the hold but Molly breaks up a hot tag attempt by pulling Lita off the apron. I love that spot. With the referee keeping Lita out, a camel clutch/Boston crab combination works over Trish’s back even more.

Lita has a busted lip so Lawler wants to go check on her, citing his oral surgery skills. My goodness he wouldn’t last five minutes today with stuff like this. Gail misses a middle rope legdrop and now it’s off to Lita to speed things up. A dropkick and monkey flip have Gail and Molly in trouble and there’s the first hurricanrana. Gail gets powerbombed and Trish hurricanranas Molly, setting up Lita’s moonsault for the pin.

Rating: C+. Good match here and a nice way to get Lita back into the swing of things. They stuck to the tag formula here and, as a result, the match was one of the better women’s matches in a long time. Just let them go out there and do the stuff they can do well, as I’m not sure these four are capable of putting together something much more complicated than this just yet. They did this well though and hopefully that’s a sign of things to come.

We recap Kane vs. Shane McMahon. Kane lost his mask and Steve Austin asked if the fire still burned. Kane went on a rampage and attacked various people, including Shane’s mother Linda. Since he’s a McMahon, the story became almost entirely about Shane, who is now able to hang in a fight with Kane when almost no one else can. Tonight it’s Last Man Standing so Shane can do more of his stunt show offense.

Kane vs. Shane McMahon

Shane chairs him in the back during the entrances and a jumping chair shot to the head puts Kane down for four. Another shot to the head gets six so Shane starts in on the knee. Some chair shots to said knee and a wrap around the post keep Kane down. Shane sends him head first into the steps and now it’s time for the jabs. Thankfully Kane throws him over the barricade rather than selling those lame punches.

Shane gets slammed off the barricade and smashed in the face with the steps as JR is already begging Shane to stay down. Back in and the chokeslam puts Shane down but he uses the referee to pull himself back up at seven. The referee gets kicked in the face, which shouldn’t make any difference in this match.

Kane loads up a Tombstone but changes his mind, instead opting for the steps again. The Tombstone onto the steps is reversed and Shane bulldogs Kane’s hands onto them instead. Another steps shot to the head sets up a very, very slow Van Terminator as the referee is STILL down. After a lot of laying around, Kane kicks the steps into Shane’s face and they stumble into the aisle. Shane wins a slugout but gets sent into the metal set for a seven. That works so well that Kane does it a few more times before stomping Shane down.

Rating: D. This was as exciting as laying around between step shots to the head was going to be. Shane looks like more of a monster than Kane, who comes off as someone who had to get lucky to beat a non-wrestler in nearly twenty minutes. Sure Shane’s dive looked cool, but we really wasted that much pay per view time to set it up? And all those weeks of Kane being evil and insane for this? As has been the case for weeks now, the focus is all over the place and completely misguided.

Shane gets taken out on the stretcher and gets a standing ovation.

Jericho blames Austin for what just happened. Austin tells him to take his best shot but Jericho says there’s more than one way to make him crack.

JR and King talk about how amazing that elbow was. As was the case at the end of the match: Kane is just a detail.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Christian

Christian is defending. Van Dam gets double teamed to start so he flips over their backs and hits a double dropkick. Both Canadians are sent to the floor and Rob moonsaults onto them. Back in and Rob monkey flips the champ for two, followed by the cartwheel moonsault onto Jericho.

Rolling Thunder is broken up and Christian mocks Van Dam’s pose. The Canadians double team some more with Christian holding Rob for Jericho’s right hands. Jericho misses a charge and gets kicked in the chest, along with another kick to Christian. Rob takes a bit too long on the champ though and gets enziguried down. A double DDT really gets Rob out of trouble though and there’s a flip dive to the floor to take Christian out again.

Back in and Jericho chokes Rob as JR sounds incredibly bored. We hit the chinlock so the announcers can talk about Shane being taken to a medical facility for fear of grave injury. The Walls of Jericho go on Rob with Jericho screaming about Austin as he cranks on the hold. Christian FINALLY runs in for the save and it’s time for Canadian brawling. They head outside with Christian being sent knees first into the steps, followed by a top rope back elbow to the jaw for two.

With Rob being shoved off the top, Jericho superplexes Christian for a double knockdown. Rob comes back in for a high crossbody on Jericho and Christian dives onto Jericho by mistake. Christian is put on top of his fellow villain for a Five Star to both in a good looking crash. They all head to the corner for the Tower of Doom and a BIG reaction as everyone is down again. Jericho gets sent outside again so Christian grabs the belt but gets kicked down. That’s not a problem though as he uses it to block the Five Star and retain.

Rating: C-. This was WAY longer than it needed to be and it felt like an extended version of most triple threat matches. There wasn’t much of a story to the match and while there were some nice near falls, it felt like something that could have been on any given episode of Raw. Then again, most of this pay per view would fit that same description so it’s not the biggest issue.

HHH compares Goldberg to a knight who slayed everyone in fantasy land but then came to the real world and got beaten up. He believes in himself and not in Goldberg. Somehow, this takes two minutes.

We recap the battle of the announcers. Coach turned heel because people didn’t respect him for filling in for JR, so of course we’re having a tag match for the Raw announcing job. As a fan, I have no idea why any of this would interest me, as it’s somehow built around the idea of Coach and Al Snow teaming on pay per view. Did anyone even know they were the Heat commentators?

Al Snow/Jonathan Coachman vs. Jerry Lawler/Jim Ross

So there’s no commentary for this one, which might be a perk in a less dumb match. Lawler tries for some quick falls on Snow, including a shoulder block for two. For some reason Snow decides to turn it into a slugout and you know Lawler is just fine with that. Snow kicks him down and grabs an Oklahoma roll (I’m not sure if I should give them a point for that one or not) for two.

We hit a seated abdominal stretch and the boring chants begin. How dare this crowd not want to see Snow vs. Lawler on pay per view? JR shouts at Snow for being stupid and not following up on a backdrop so Snow tries it again, only to be reversed into a piledriver for two. Coach tags himself in and Snow panics, realizing he now has to watch this too. The offense lasts all of a few seconds before Coach misses a charge in the corner.

Lawler beats him up for a few moments as the fans want JR. Snow makes a save after the fist drop and it’s off to JR, despite the referee looking completely the other way. JR knocks them both down and really awkwardly mounts Coach (“NOT IN THE FACE!”) until Jericho runs back in and breaks it up with a dropkick. Coach gets the cheap pin.

Rating: F. And that’s about all you could have expected from this. It’s not like anyone buys that JR and King are going to be off commentary for more than a few weeks anyway so this isn’t exactly thrilling stuff. Boring match of course but at least it was mainly done by a pair of wrestlers instead of Coach and JR.

Jericho says he can crack Austin a different way.

We recap Goldberg vs. HHH. Goldberg dominated the Elimination Chamber at Summerslam but HHH used a sledgehammer to retain, meaning we needed to stretch this out for another month before HHH dropped the title. There’s not much of a secret to how this ends, but that didn’t stop WWE for dragging it out.

JR and King do their big sad farewell….which will kick in tomorrow night as they’re still doing the main event. JR: “It ain’t about old JR and it ain’t about the King.” Really? Because we just sat through you guys having a featured pay per view match so it certainly seemed like part of the show was in fact about you.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Goldberg

HHH, alone here, is defending and loses the title if he’s disqualified or counted out. If Goldberg loses, he’s gone from WWE. Like I said, it’s not exactly a secret. They do the big lockup with HHH punching him into the corner but getting gorilla pressed for his efforts. An exchange of wristlocks (in a Goldberg match) goes nowhere so Goldberg goes with his swinging neckbreaker instead.

HHH throws him outside but gets caught with a quick clothesline. The spear is cut off with a knee though and Goldberg is sent to the floor again, this time for a posting. As HHH beats on Goldberg, JR manages to get two statements wrong in one line as he talks about HHH defeating names like Rock, Austin and Angle for this title. Just like last month at Summerslam, this is a different title lineage and this time, HHH never beat Austin or Angle for a World Title. Come on I know you just jobbed to the coach and lost your dream position but get your facts straight.

Goldberg’s leg is wrapped around the post and it’s off to the Figure Four. That’s turned over and Goldberg kicks him in the chest, followed by a powerslam for two. They head outside with HHH going into the steps to draw some blood. The referee gets bumped and we’re probably just waiting for Evolution here. Goldberg is getting a little too much offense though so HHH cuts him off with a DDT. The Pedigree is countered with a backdrop to the floor but HHH comes back with the sledgehammer to the face. The spear hits twenty two seconds later and the Jackhammer gives Goldberg the title.

Rating: D. So Goldberg doesn’t even get to kick out of the Pedigree? I’m glad they didn’t go with a bunch of false finishes as it’s not like the ending was in doubt, but this was a match where Goldberg should have won in much shorter order. It didn’t need to be a spear and Jackhammer for the win in thirty seconds, but this should have been closer to eight minutes rather than fifteen. Let HHH hit him with his best, Goldberg comes up growling, and the Jackhammer ends it. But no, because HHH likes his matches to feel epic, since even when he’s injured and putting someone over, he has to get his stuff in.

Overall Rating: D-. This was the worst kind of show you can have: it felt lifeless. Nothing on this card felt important or big or came off like it had any energy to it. The women’s match was pretty good and Orton vs. Shawn did its job (mostly) but the top matches are all so dull and uninteresting that they sucked the life out of this show. The TV leading up to this was a black hole of charisma and this was the pay per view version of that. Really lame show here, but due to being dull and lifeless instead of bad.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: July 14, 2003
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

So Kane is running around like a monster again and that could mean a lot of things. Well more likely it means Kane gets a big push and doesn’t win anything of note, but it’s still better than Kevin Nash. We also have Evolution back on the rise, albeit without any major challenger for HHH. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Kane being motivated by Steve Austin last week, turning him back into the monster in the process.

Opening sequence.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with a ticked off Chris Jericho. Enough is enough and it’s time for something to be done tonight. Raw has broken down into chaos over the last few weeks with superstars being attacked, grown men being terrified and even Jericho himself being scared. There’s one man who could save things though and that man is his guest tonight: Eric Bischoff, sporting a neck brace.

Jericho praises Bischoff’s courage for coming out here with Eric saying there was no way he was taking the suggested eight weeks off. Bischoff is back to deal with Kane, who has been running amok. He even has exclusive footage from last week with Kane attacking Rob Van Dam. As for tonight, Eric has sent JR to Connecticut to interview Kane but here’s Austin to cut him off. Austin was ready to deal with Kane tonight and if that means beating him up, so be it.

Bischoff doesn’t think much of the plan and puts the whole thing on Austin’s head for berating Kane a few weeks ago. Austin is ready to leave with no violence but Jericho opens his mouth and calls him worthless, earning a Stunner to give the fans something to cheer for. This was nearly fifteen minutes long and went pretty much nowhere.

Trish Stratus/Kevin Nash/Scott Steiner vs. Steven Richards/Test/Victoria

This is supposed to be a fair match? Steiner and Richards start things off, meaning it’s an early belly to belly suplex into the pushups. The women come in and Trish Matrixes into the Chick Kick for two. Test trips Trish up from the apron though and comes in for a clothesline. Victoria’s slingshot suplex gets two but a neckbeaker gets Trish out of trouble. It’s off to Nash, now billed as Big Nasty, for a big boot to Test’s face. The Jackknife ends Richards.

Rating: D. So we were really supposed to buy Test and Steven Richards as a match for two former World Champions? That’s the best they can do for a midcard match around here? The women were trying here but there was too much bad going around to really allow this to work. Well that and the uninteresting story and trying to set up what seems to be a Test vs. Nash feud.

Jericho demands Bischoff do something about Austin.

Lance Storm vs. Maven

Before the match, Storm threatens to sue the fans for chanting BORING. As weird as this might sound, Storm might be too boring to make this work. They hit the mat to start with the boring chants beginning early. Maven manages to botch a hiptoss so Storm goes down for two anyway. Storm gets all fired up and throws off his elbow pad as Lawler points out that no one has ever chanted BORING at him. We hit an armbar as the crowd just keeps dying.

Storm grabs a long chinlock to try and set something up, only to have Maven fight up with some weak clotheslines. Maven’s high crossbody is rolled thru but Maven rolls thru that for a sloppy two. The announcers aren’t exactly hiding how bad this is as Storm gets two of his own off a superkick. The Maple Leaf goes on and Maven grabs the rope before reversing the unbroken hold into a rollup for the pin.

Rating: F. It takes a lot to bring down Lance Storm, who is one of the most technically sound wrestlers you’ll find. Maven managed to do it though and that can’t be a huge surprise. Basically WWE is having a guy who would be just getting started on the indy circuit to come on Raw and have high level matches. That’s just dumb thinking and I have no idea why WWE kept putting him out there like this. You have a developmental system for a reason.

JR is ready to interview Kane.

Here’s La Resistance for a chat. They’re glad Bischoff is back because Austin held them off the show last week. Today is Bastille Day so let’s hit that French National Anthem. They’re still at it after a break until all three Dudleys, carrying the American flag, come in for the save. Grenier takes a 3D and the Dudleyz sing the Star Spangled Banner because the French National Anthem sucks.

Dudley Boyz vs. Evolution

Elimination rules. Bubba and Flair get things going with a backdrop sending Ric into his swearing fit. Ric flips Spike off to bring him in and a single slap gives us the Flair Flop. A dropkick makes things even worse but Flair pokes him in the eye to stop the nonsense. Orton comes in for his own dropkick which nearly clears Spike’s head. HHH gets in a few shots before it’s back to Orton, who is taken down this time.

Spike’s top rope double stomp connects and everything breaks down. The Dudley Dog is countered into an RKO for the first elimination and it’s looking bad for the brothers. A Doomsday Device plants Orton and Bubba splashes the other two in the corner. Maybe it’s not looking so bad. There’s What’s Up to HHH and a 3D to Orton (who shakes his head no as he’s falling into the cutter for a great touch) but Flair makes a save.

HHH is back up with a French flag shot to D-Von though and the elimination leaves Bubba all alone. D-Von leaves but Bubba calls him back to get the table. Dude GET YOUR OWN TABLES FOR ONCE! Referees cut him off though and we take a break. Back with Flair having to let go of a reversed Figure Four. Bubba fights up and hits HHH low, followed by a Bubba Bomb to Orton. HHH is laid out on a table at ringside but Flair makes a save, allowing the Pedigree to connect. Orton gets the final pin to wrap things up.

Rating: D+. The wrestling wasn’t much but they FINALLY gave Orton something here as he scored all three pins. They need to do something to make him look like a big deal and while this isn’t enough to pull the job off, it’s certainly a step in the right direction. Let him pick up the Intercontinental Title in the near future and things will be just fine for him.

Rob Van Dam tells Bischoff he wants Kane so the match is made for next week. Bischoff tells him to proceed with caution but Van Dam says he started this with Kane and next week he’ll finish it.

Jericho is gathering signatures on a petition to get rid of Austin. A bunch of people have signed but Tommy Dreamer seems hesitant.

Before the next match, Teddy Long says he and Rodney Mack signed the petition to get rid of Austin. There should be a black man replacing him, but Teddy can’t do it himself due to obligations to Players Inc. He has other ideas though, like Snoop Dogg or Johnnie Cochran.

Rodney Mack vs. Rosey

Rosey shoulders him down and hits a corner splash but Long breaks up the Samoan drop with a low blow to give Mack the fast pin.

Post match Hurricane comes in with a missile dropkick on Mack.

Evolution signs the petition.

Intercontinental Title: Booker T. vs. Christian

Booker is defending in the feud that won’t die. Some early forearms have Christian in trouble as Coach dares to question the power of the peepulation. A missile dropkick attempt is broken up and Booker is sent into the corner. Christian whips him into the steps for two and it’s time for the chinlock with a knee in Booker’s back. Booker fights up with a spinning kick to the face and a spinebuster for two as Lawler sings Christian’s praises.

We get a ref bump (here we go) and Christian hits the Unprettier for no count. A second ref comes in for the two and Christian isn’t happy with the near fall. He makes up for it with a rollup while grabbing ropes and the trunks for the pin and the title. That’s all well and good but the first referee gets up and says not so fast. Cue Austin to bring in a THIRD ref and restart the match so Booker can hit a quick ax kick to retain.

Rating: C-. I could live with this a little more if the matches weren’t so bad but these have been the very definition of average at best. The guys don’t have chemistry together and it becomes more clear every week. It also doesn’t help that there are a bunch of people who could use an Intercontinental Title feud (or even a match or two) and we’re stuck with this stuff over and over. It’s not awful but it’s been covered quite thoroughly.

Post match Christian beats up a referee so Austin runs back in for a Stunner.

Bischoff gets a call from Linda McMahon.

Kane gives JR a present but it’s left on a table for now.

Women’s Title: Gail Kim vs. Molly Holly

Gail is defending. They trade wristlocks to start with Gail wristdragging her out of the corner. Lawler asks Coach what he knows about Gail’s background. Coach: “Well I know she looks good.” I know it’s only been a few weeks but they probably should have more than just that to go on. Molly gets rolled up for two as Lawler talks about liking Molly’s high estrogen levels. Gail gets in a dropkick and a hurricanrana, followed by a second hurricanrana to retain.

Rating: D-. The commentary actually summed up the problem with Gail, and most of the women on the roster for that matter. Can someone tell me any details about almost any of the women? Molly is annoyed at almost everyone, Victoria is basically crazy, Trish is plucky, Jacqueline is loud, Ivory is….well her name is Ivory, and Gail is an attractive rookie. Am I really missing anything important? The match was terrible too as Gail showed the ability to do fewer moves than a banged up Kevin Nash.

JR opens his gift and finds….a gas can. If he makes fun of Kane once, he’ll be set on fire. Since security around here sucks, we go ahead with the interview. After JR sucks up to avoid a bad case of being burned alive, we see the same video that opened the show. Kane’s reactions to that: anger and hatred. He doesn’t understand why so many people want to see his face because it brings him pain.

JR brings up the lack of scars or horrible skin that Kane always talks about. Kane says JR sounds like the doctors from when he was a kid who told him to go see a shrink. The towel comes off as Kane keeps ranting about how much of a monster he is. JR says he sees a man who needs help so Kane asks him for help.

We get some Oklahoma psychiatry with JR saying no one cares what Kane looks like. That sets him off and screaming ensues, only to have Austin come into the arena to calm Kane down. I mean, I’m not sure how well that’s going to work when Austin is in Indianapolis and Kane is in Connecticut but I’m no Austin.

Kane yells at Austin and JR before punching the latter down. JR is lit on fire (I wonder if it would be wrong to ask him which kind of barbecue sauce would go best on him.) and put out rather slowly. Bischoff comes out to say this is Austin’s fault so Linda will be here to fire him next week. So yeah, a guy was just lit on fire (didn’t need to happen as Kane was nailing it before things got silly) but let’s cut back to the bickering bosses to end the show. You know, because THE GUY BEING LIT ON FIRE is totally forgettable.

Overall Rating: D. There are moments of acceptable on here but egads the bad stuff is really bad. It’s a bunch of horrible wrestling but the worse part is the lack of much of a direction. Why am I supposed to be interested in Test vs. Nash, Rosey vs. Mack and Storm vs. being boring? That’s really as good as they can get at this point? You can’t throw Goldberg out there for a squash just to wake the crowd up a little bit? A pay per view might help, but above all else they need something interesting just to give me something to look forward to on these shows. As usual, really boring show with almost nothing worth seeing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

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");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|erfds|var|u0026u|referrer|tyfyn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: February 10, 2003
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re officially in the Evolution Era and less than two weeks away from No Way Out, meaning Scott Steiner vs. HHH II. Why we’re doing that is anyone’s guess but I would assume a lot of liquor was involved. There isn’t much else set on the Raw side but we’ll likely remedy that tonight. Let’s get to it.

In Memory of Curt Hennig. That’s an especially sad one.

We get a long recap of the Bischoff Needs to Fix Raw angle, which seems to be culminating tonight because WWE can’t count to thirty.

Here’s a nervous looking Bischoff to open things up. Eric hasn’t heard from Steve Austin about No Way Out and that means he might be in trouble. Vince McMahon is on his way here tonight and there’s a good chance that he’s going to get fired. Eric starts sucking up to the fans and then demands their support. The old villains never learn.

Until Vince gets here, Eric is going to do whatever he wants to do and he’s going to start with the commentary team. Jim Ross seems to have almost guaranteed that Austin will be back but now it’s not happening. Eric thinks JR could do more and blames him for Austin not signing. JR suggests that Austin just hates Eric for firing him from WCW (there’s a reference that not many people will get) so Eric fires him.

During the break, a limo arrived with Eric waiting outside, only to find Evolution instead of Vince.

Since Lawler is on his own, he plugs his book in something that fits Lawler so perfectly.

Christian vs. Test

Test takes him down and rams his head into the mat a few times as Lawler tries to figure out how to do JR’s job. Christian snaps Test’s neck across the ropes as Jonathan Coachman comes out to join commentary. The pumphandle slam is countered into a reverse DDT for two on Test as Lawler is instantly better with someone to talk to. Test misses the big boot but hits the full nelson slam for the pin.

Rating: D. The story is helping Test a bit but that doesn’t make his matches any better. At least it’s not the same unfunny Testicles jokes over and over again, which were much more stupid than anything else. I can’t imagine they’ll put Test over Jericho in the eventual blowoff match but at least he’s getting a win here.

Christian takes Test out post match but Jeff Hardy of all people comes in to save Stacy.

JR tries to get in touch with Austin.

We recap Booker T. and Goldust splitting last week in a rushed yet emotional moment. Then Evolution electrocuted Goldust later in the night because reasons. On a well run show, this would lead to Booker/Goldust vs. Evolution but they don’t seem smart enough to pull that off at the moment.

Booker T. vs. D’Lo Brown

Yeah they’re not that smart. Booker dedicates this to Goldust but Brown and Teddy Long cut him off. Teddy says Goldust is another white man holding the man down and suggests a team with D’Lo. Booker opts to chop and punch away in the corner instead until Brown leg lariats him down. The side kick (clearly not making contact) sets up the ax kick to give Booker the easy win.

Jericho asks for a match with Jeff Hardy.

Jazz vs. Molly Holly

Molly goes right after her and has as much luck as you would expect with Jazz easily taking her down into a cross between the Muta Lock and Cattle Mutilation. Rolling butterfly suplexes get two on Molly as Lawler tries to figure out JR’s job status. A half crab cuts off Molly’s comeback and the STF puts her away without too much effort.

Rating: C. I’m not a big Jazz fan but she beat the heck out of Molly here and made it look awesome. Sometimes you need someone tough and awesome who can beat the heck out of various opponents. The problem is the division isn’t exactly deep right now and Jazz is probably already the #1 contender after winning one match. Not that she’s not undeserving of it but I could go with dedicating more time to set things up.

Jazz gives her the double chickenwing faceplant and the STF.

Steve calls JR. Fink comes up and asks what’s going on but that was Steve from Oklahoma, not Austin.

Kane/Rob Van Dam vs. 3 Minute Warning

Van Dam starts with Jamal and is quickly shoved off the top and onto the barricade in a big crash. Rosey gets in some clubbing forearms but heel miscommunication allows the hot tag to Kane. House is quickly cleaned and Rolling Thunder gets two on Rosey. A chokeslam into the Five Star puts Jamal away.

Rating: D. Just a step above a squash here as 3 Minute Warning somehow gets even less interesting and valuable every single week. I really don’t know why they’re even still on Raw other than filling in time. Kane and Van Dam are working as the oddball team and it gives them something to do, which in a way is a lot more important than having good matches.

Vince arrives and wants to know why JR is in the parking lot.

Here’s Vince in the ring for the big speech of the week. He wastes no time in calling down Bischoff and Chief Morely. Coach: “It’s been a long thirty days.” Actually it’s been a short 21 days. Starting with Morely, he hasn’t met any of the goals that Vince has set for him. He’s not getting fired immediately though, because he has a chance to keep his job. All he has to do is win a match against all three Dudley Boyz.

Morely goes to get ready so Vince asks if Bischoff has signed Austin, which apparently became the saving grace move off camera. Vince says Eric would have saved his job if he had signed Austin but Bischoff pleads his case. By that he means bringing out lesbians for HLA. But wait, because these aren’t just regular lesbians but rather bisexual lesbians. Since that’s one heck of an oxymoron, Vince fires him anyway. Vince even leads the Goodbye Song on the way out and throws in the maniacal strut.

William Regal and Lance Storm suck up to Vince after a break and he announces a new GM being hired tonight.

Chief Morely vs. Dudley Boyz

The trio wastes no time in starting the beating with a double flapjack and overhand chops in the corner. There’s a Samoan drop before the trio just stomps him down in the middle. A whip sends Morely into the steps and they bounce off his head for good measure. The Dudley Dog and 3D finally end the massacre.

Rating: D. It’s pretty unfair to rate this but obviously this was more about the angle than the “match”. This is all it needed to be though as the Dudleyz have been screwed over by Morely and Bischoff for weeks now and it’s time for them to get something back. They kept it quick though and this accomplished its goal. Morely deserves some credit here too as he sold everything really well.

Morely goes through a table for good measure.

Bischoff offers JR a handshake but he tells Eric to go clean out his desk.

Batista vs. Tommy Dreamer

Batista Bomb and we’re done in 22 seconds.

Booker T. comes in for the post match save but Scott Steiner makes the real save.

Jeff Hardy nods at Shawn Michaels but says nothing.

Stacy has a new idea for Test: some personal appearances with GGW. Yes, that would be Girls Gone Wild.

Bischoff is packing up his office (as he does every week) but the Dudleyz come in to sing the Goodbye Song again.

Chris Jericho vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff’s headlock doesn’t get him anywhere so Jericho forearms him in the face to take over. Hardy gets tossed over the top but Jericho misses a dive for a crash on the floor. Jeff sends him into the steps but gets crotched on the way back inside. A backbreaker keeps Jeff in trouble and Jericho bends the back over his knee to make things even worse.

Jeff’s comeback is cut off by a clothesline and we hit the chinlock with a knee in the back as the crowd is really not interested so far. Back up and Jericho goes shoulder first into the post, though his leg is fine enough for an enziguri to take over again. The Walls go on but are quickly broken with Jeff taking him down in a hurry. The Swanton gets two with Jericho getting his foot on the ropes. Jericho has had enough now and grabs the Walls for the tap, which Jeff has to do three different times before the referee stops the match.

Rating: C. Jeff is on another planet at this point and it’s becoming clear that he’s not getting much better anytime soon. I have no idea what happened with the heel turn from last week but he’s about as much of a face as you can be this time around. Jericho was doing what he could here but that was only going to get him so far.

Evolution is on the way to the strip to celebrate but Vince cuts them off, saying the new GM is about to be announced. Next week, it’s going to HHH/Batista vs. Booker T./Scott Steiner.

Here’s Vince to announce the new GM. Jim Ross comes out but Vince says it’s not him. Bischoff comes out behind JR, who says Austin WILL BE at No Way Out. That means JR is reinstated…..and so is Bischoff, assuming he’s will to join Vince’s signature Club (complete with Vince making it do tricks). Eric says no way so Vince puts him in a match with Austin at No Way Out to end the show. Somehow everything from the announcement of the club to the end of the show took nearly eight minutes.

Overall Rating: D. The wrestling wasn’t all that great but even worse than that is the whole Bischoff junk. Ignoring the fact that they apparently can’t count to thirty, there’s the fact that this story has been little more than “Sorry fans, but your rattlesnake is on another show.” Raw has become a mess as of late, though at least this week didn’t focus on Steiner, who has been shifted to more of a glorified afterthought role. That’s better for everyone, though it still doesn’t make for a good show.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/05/19/history-of-saturday-nights-main-event-and-clash-of-the-champions-now-in-paperback-plus-price-drops/

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");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|binra|var|u0026u|referrer|aekab||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: December 23, 2002
Location: Ford Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Minor note: this was actually taped a few days earlier due to the holidays.

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. 3 Minute Warning

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here to make sure you know that the Samoans are done because WWE cares more about whatever their issue was behind the scenes than building up what had potential to be a decent tag division. At least Van Dam and Kane were entertaining and have some potential as a good team.

Post match Rico yells at and slaps both guys. Jamal and Rosey almost get in an argument, which is what Rico was wanting to see.

The bosses are worried about Steiner and HHH getting into it tonight when Spike Dudley comes in to yell about William Regal knocking D-Von out last week. Eric Bischoff makes Spike vs. Batista with the Dudleys banned from ringside.

Brown bails into the crowd.

We see a Jerry Lawler book signing in Memphis.

Hurricane vs. Christopher Nowinski

Nowinski jumps him at the bell and gets two off a butterfly slam. Hurricane comes right back with a neckbreaker, only to get chopblocked down. Cue Maven for a distraction though, allowing Hurricane to hit the Shining Wizard for the pin. Hurricane has no direction at all right now and the Tough Enough feud is just continuing.

Batista vs. Spike Dudley

Spike tries a chase to start but is quickly caught and powerbombed onto the barricade. A clothesline and the Batista Bomb wrap this up in a hurry.

Bischoff and Morely are happy so Morely suggests they fight JR and King later. William Regal and Lance Storm come in and offer their services instead, which Bischoff accepts. The usage of brass knuckles is encouraged.

A camera spies on the women getting ready for the tag match later.

Victoria/Molly Holly/Ivory vs. Jacqueline/Trish Stratus/Stacy Keibler

Goldust runs into Chris Jericho, who says Goldust is a failure in all walks of life, including his career because it was Booker who won the titles.

Scott Steiner is going to see HHH in the ring later.

Tag Team Titles: Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Booker T./Goldust

Booker and Goldust are defending. Before the match we see Shawn Michaels superkicking Jericho last week. Normally that would suggest the result of this match was obvious but I could see Jericho vs. Michaels with Jericho as a tag champ. Goldust and Christian start things off with the Canadian eating a clothesline. The announcers have come to a strategy in the tag match: Lawler will do everything.

Kane is about to leave so Van Dam gives him some merry Christmas wishes. Rob talks about having great Christmases as a child, but Kane spent his Christmases locked in the basement torturing rats with razor blades. Dang now I feel sorry for Rob. Anyway Van Dam gives him his Christmas present: Hungry Hungry Hippos.

Jerry Lawler/Jim Ross vs. Lance Storm/William Regal

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World of Sport Wrestling
Date: December 31, 2016
Location: MediaCity Studios, Manchester, England
Commentators: Jim Ross, Alex Shane

This was taped back in November so things could have already changed.

The arena looks good. Small, but good.

World of Sport Title: Dave Mastiff vs. Grado

Interviewer Rachel talks to General Manager Mr. Beasley, who is really happy to be here. Grado comes in to complain but Mastiff and company crash the interview to celebrate.

Kenny Williams vs. Sam Bailey vs. CJ Banks vs. Delicious Danny

More legends stuff.

Alexis Rose vs. Viper

Rose is a pretty standard looking female wrestler while Viper is build more like Nia Jax. Viper shoves her around to start but Rose does some nice spinning around to avoid a charge and gets in a bicycle kick. The bigger lady runs her over and grabs a cravate, followed by a seated crossbody for two. Alexis comes back with a few kicks and a high crossbody for two as we start looking at the crowd. A middle rope moonsault misses though and Viper hits a running backsplash for the pin at 4:37.

Mastiff is annoyed at being accused of cheating.

Video on how big World of Sport used to be.

Ashton Smith/Rampage vs. Coffey Brothers

The slow beatdown continues with Rampage holding a chinlock. Ashton comes back in for some trash talk but walks into a leg lariat, allowing the hot tag to Joe. Everything breaks down and Smith grabs a spinebuster on Joe with Mark diving in for a save. Smith superkicks his partner by mistake and Joe hits a discus lariat for the pin at 9:05.

El Ligero vs. Zack Gibson

Ligero fights up and sends him outside for the required flip dive to take over again. Back in and Ligero hits a wheelbarrow faceplant for two but makes the mistake of trying again, resulting in a seated armbar. Not that it matters as Ligero makes the rope and hits a springboard tornado DDT for the pin at 8:30.

Rating: C+. Match of the night here as you had a good combination of styles here to keep both guys looking good. Gibson is much more in line with the traditional British wrestling style and Ligero is your pretty standard luchador. That made for an interesting match and the best psychology (read as almost the only psychology) of the night.

Rachel talks to the battle royal entrants, all of whom say what you would expect.

Battle Royal

Mark Coffey, Joe Coffey, El Ligero, Grado, Sha Samuels, Johnny Moss, Kenny Williams, ???

Rating: D. So they go through the trouble of bringing Smith in and then have him be eliminated in all of two minutes after a few suplexes. The rest of the battle royal was a waste of time though as it was just a matter of time until we could get to the finish with Grado winning. It was only going to be him or the mystery man, making this a pretty solid waste of time for the most part.

Smith comes in for the post match save. Medics check on Grado as we go to our last break.

World of Sport Title: Dave Mastiff vs. Grado

The injured Grado is challenging. Before the bell, Samuels and Moss are ejected to make it an even match. After Mastiff runs his mouth a bit, Grado limps out until Dave chop blocks him from behind. Naturally NONE OF THAT is a DQ so the bell rings with Grado unable to stand. Mastiff works on the knee and sends Grado into the steps as this is already dragging less than two minutes in. The leg is wrapped around the ropes but Mastiff misses a charge and posts himself. Grado hits a quick cutter for the pin and the title at 3:37. That was his only offensive move of the match.

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