Joey Janela’s Spring Break: Cluster**** Forever: As Advertised

Joey Janela’s Spring Break: Cluster**** Forever
Date: April 6, 2024
Location: Penns Landing Caterers, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Dave Prazak, Veda Scott

This is the second half of Spring Break, with a two match card. Naturally this includes a Punjabi Prison match, but the big draw is the Cluster**** Battle Royal, which is only a match with actual structure in the loosest of terms. There will probably be more than fifty entrants with loosely timed intervals, but the real fun is seeing who shows up. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on the Punjabi Prison match.

Tag Team Titles: Violence Is Forever vs. Juicy Finau/Zilla Fatu vs. Los Macios vs. Bollywood Boyz

Violence Is Forever (Kevin Ku/Dominic Garrini) is defending and Los Macios are Ciclope/Miedo Extremo. The Boyz are carried on fans’ shoulders to the ring, which is surrounded by the bamboo style cage. This is one fall to a finish, meaning it’s not quite a Punjabi Prison match but I’ll take what I can get under the circumstances.

Fatu and Finau clean house to start, with Finau and Garrini fighting to the floor (as in outside of the cage) where Garrini gets beaten up. Los Macios hit Ku with a double flapjack but can’t manage to double suplex the rather large Ku. The Boyz are back up with a Bollywood Blast to Ku before double teaming Fatu down. Finau wrecks Finau as more people go to the floor to brawl.

Gurv is busted open and Ciclope grabs an electric tool, which can’t go well for anyone. Los Macios manage to knock Finau down inside, at least partially thanks to a chair, leaving Fatu to Samoan drop Harv off the cage through some doors at ringside. About ten chair shots and a Samoan drop put Finau down again as Ciclope climbs the cage.

Fatu Samoan Spikes him down and then dives back in with Garrini having to make a save. A spike piledriver hits Gurv…who pops right back up. The champs chair him down and then do the same to Finau. We pause for the sake of spending forever to set up a double stack door. The top rope double stomp to Finau gives Ku the retaining pin at 14:26.

Rating: C+. What is there to say about a match like this? It’s total insanity with all kinds of things going on at once. That’s kind of the point, and while the cage itself was only kind of used at times, I think I like the idea of having people coming and going. Having eight people in the ring at once is a mess, so I’ll take carnage going throughout the arena and ringside over everyone in the ring and not being able to move.

We look at upcoming shows as it’s going to take some time to get the cage down.

Commentary hypes up the Cluster as we stay on the graphic of upcoming events.

Before the Cluster starts, here is GCW World Champion Black Christian, with Shane Mercer, for a chat. Christian talks about how Joey Janela couldn’t finish the story last night at Spring Break and it wasn’t the first time he was bigger, stronger and could last longer than Janela. Cue Janela from behind to powerbomb Christian and hit him with a package piledriver. Mercer and Janela brawl outside…and here is Mance Warner, who has a guaranteed title shot at any time. Warner loads up the screwdriver but Effy comes in to brawl with Warner to the back.

We preview the Cluster, which is about having all kinds of people, with no idea of who or how many people will be entering.

Cluster****

There are unknown entrants and you can be eliminated by pin, submission, over the top, leaving the building and death. It’s Royal Rumble style (with the rules and intervals being loose at best) with Jimmy Lloyd, in a neck brace after last night, in at #1. Before the match he rips on Philadelphia before bringing out Matt Cardona and Steph de Lander. Well in theory that is but instead it’s Shane Douglas coming in at #2.

Shane hits a quick belly to belly for the pin and the elimination, allowing him to stop and talk about the history of wrestling here in Philadelphia. All of the promotions around here can kiss his a** but here is Shota in at #3. A dropkick staggers Douglas but he’s back with the belly to belly for the pin. Bam Sullivan is in at #4 and flips off Douglas, who hammers away. Sullivan knocks him down and gets two off a splash but Douglas bites him in the head. A running clothesline of all things gets rid of Sullivan and it’s Lindsay in at #5.

Douglas doesn’t think much of her so she hits him low for two. The camel clutch goes on but Jason Knight comes in, presumably at #6, to kiss Snow and toss her out. Rob S*** is in at #7 and beats on both of them until Knight dumps him. The Carnage Crew (Loc and DeVito) are in at #8 and #9 but they’re both out just as fast. Tommy Dreamer is in at #10 and yeah the fans approve as the ECW reunion continues. Justin Credible pops in, I guess at #11, and leaves with Jason without doing anything.

That leaves Dreamer vs. Douglas with a quick DDT getting rid of Douglas as the Impact Players (Knight/Credible) are officially eliminated due to leaving. Rina Yamashita is in at #12 and they slug it out, with Rina grabbing a testicular claw. An enziguri drops Dreamer and Tony Deppen is in at #13 (Rina rolls her eyes). Rina rolls outside (not eliminated) and 1 Called Manders is in at #14. Brawling ensues until Charlie Tiger is in at #15. That goes nowhere so Jeffrey John is in at #16 as the ring is starting to fill up.

Facade is in at #17 for some kicks to stagger various people. The intervals pick up as Masha Slamovich is in at #18. Slamovich avoids a dropkick and chokes John out for the elimination. Tiger gets choked out as well before Slamovich crotches Facade on top and gets rid of him. Deppen tries to get rid of Slamovich but Dreamer throws him out instead. Trevor Outlaw and Frank The Clown are in at #19 and #20 with Outlaw trying a cheap shot on Dreamer, who grabs a DDT.

Slamovich tosses Dreamer and pins Outlaw as Marcus Mathers is in at #21. Mathers kicks Rina back out to the floor (again not out) and Parrow is in at #22. Frank The Clown has left the building (he never got in the ring) for an elimination and it’s Mike Bailey in at #23 (you knew he was coming). Everyone goes after the large Parrow, who tosses Bailey. Parrow puts Slamovich down for the pin as well and it’s Pollo del Mar in at #24. Pollo is tossed rather quickly and it’s Dark Sheik, Edith Surreal and Jamie Senegal in at #25, #26 and #27.

They all strike away at Parrow, including a trio of Shattered Dreams. Parrow goes through the ropes (not out) and it’s Cheech and Colin Delaney in at #28 and #29. They go after the trio but can’t get rid of anyone as the Main Event (Jay Lion/Midas Black) are in at #30 and #31. Some rather snazzy double team moves have Cheech and Delaney in trouble, albeit not eliminated. Dives through the ropes take Cheech and Delaney down as the Ugly Sucklings (White Mike and Rob Killjoy) are in at #32 and #33.

The Sucklings beat up both tag teams but can’t get rid of anyone as Davey Bang and August Matthews are in at #34 and #35. That means they get to clean house with some dives as even more people get to lay around on the floor. Cheech and Delaney come back in but get dropped with clotheslines as Bobby Flaco, Terry Yaki, Aerial Van Go and Mr. Danger come in together at #36, #37, #38 and #39.

The four of them go after Delaney, with a hurricanrana into a phoenix splash getting rid of him, with Cheech being thrown out just after. Flaco plants Black for the elimination and a twisting Canadian Destroyer gets rid of Lion. Bang and Matthews are back up to get rid of Mike and Killjoy. Fuego del Sol and Sam Stackhouse are in at #40 and #41 with the much bigger Stackhouse going after Matthews.

Del Sol and Stackhouse knock Matthews and Bang down for stereo pins to clear the ring, not counting all of the people still either on the floor or gone. Stackhouse and del Sol beat up some of the foursome before a ladder is brought in. A moonsault onto said ladder gets rid of Flaco and Yaki but Van Go and Danger use the ladder to drop Stackhouse and del Sol. They both climb the ladder and Van Go headscissors Danger onto the pile on the floor, meaning they’re both eliminated.

Green Phantom is in at #42 and Sexxxy Eddy follows him, apparently at #43. Eddy comes to the ring in a towel and puts his tights on before getting inside to chair Stackhouse down. Mathers comes back in and gets hit low by Eddy but Manders gets back in as well. A double clothesline puts Manders down and it’s Tara Zep in at #44.

Eddy gyrates a lot and Phantom knocks Zep face first into Eddy’s trunks. Phantom slams Zep onto a chair for the elimination and Tank is in at #45. Tank beats up Eddy and Phantom but Manders is back in again for a slugout. They trade headbutts until Tank hammers him into the corner with both of them busted open. Tank headbutts Manders down and it’s Matters coming back in for another slugout. CPA (yes he’s an accountant) is in at #46 and takes off his shirt and tie to reveal….the same shirt and tie.

We’ll make that three layers as he hits a slow motion 619 on Tank. Everyone but CPA goes under the ropes to the floor and it’s Alex Zayne in at #47. Mathers takes Zayne’s place and is sent outside (not out again) as Philly Mike is in at #48. Mike knocks Mathers into the corner and it’s Spyder Nate Webb in at #49 for the full Teenage Dirt Bag entrance. Other wrestlers dance with him at ringside before Webb conducts the fans to sing the song with him.

With the song done, Webb takes a bow and gets inside, beer in hand. The fans want the song to be played again and that is in fact what happens as commentary points out that it is 2am local time. Philly Mike finally jumps Webb, who hands him a beer and then hammers him down. They fight to the floor and Mike walks out for an elimination. Webb follows and he’s out too, taking some of the energy from the crowd. Said energy picks up again as ring announcer Emil Jay enters at #50 but is tossed out almost immediately.

Eddy gets to gyrate a bit and it’s Cheeseburger in at #51. Cheeseburger ties Eddy in the Tree of Woe and sends Phantom face first into his tights, which is enough for an elimination. Eddy’s tights are pulled off and he has to fight with his hands covering himself. That lets Cheeseburger toss him out and Man Like DeReiss is in at #52. As usual, DeReiss raps himself to the ring and throws out CPA in the process. Monomoth (he has wings) is in at #53 and Zayne isn’t sure what to do with him.

A quick rollup gets rid of Zayne and Mercedes Martinez is in at #54 so Mathers comes back in (there are all kinds of people just sitting/strolling around at ringside) and is quickly fisherman’s bustered out. Surreal and Senegal (See what I mean?) come back in to go after Martinez, with Sheik joining them but getting eliminated. Surreal saves Senegal but Martinez DDTs both of them for the double elimination. DeReiss comes back in and low bridges Martinez out as Kaplan is in at #55.

Kaplan sets up doors and chairs on the floor as Manders and Stackhouse get back in. Del Sol is back in as well as Sawyer Wreck (with a bad arm) is in at #56. Kaplan misses a moonsault and gets thrown through the doors for the elimination. Wreck comes in as Brandon Kirk and Kasey Catal are in at #57 and #58.

Manders and Kirk are eliminated by their respective (romantic) partners….and then Wreck and Catal kiss. They leave together and they’re both out (Emil Jay: “Sawyer Wreck and Kasey Catal have left the building….together.”). Jordan Oliver is in at #59 to dropkick Tank out but Parrow is back in for a chokeslam. Monomoth is back in and is quickly tossed as Beastman is in at #60.

Beastman chokebombs Parrow but Stackhouse comes in and takes his shirt off, giving us a lot of jiggling. DeReiss chops at the huge Stackhouse and Beastman before tossing both of them out for the big eliminations. Viva Van is in at #61 and knocks DeReiss into the corner. The gear is hitched up for a Stinkface (DeReiss approves but feigns being knocked out when Van looks at him) but del Sol breaks it up. Van is out and Gringo Loco is in at #62.

The entrants pick up as Grim Reefer is in at #63 and tries to light a cigarette, with Parrow breaking it up. Parrow puts Reefer out and it’s Cole Radrick and Alec Price in at #64 and #65. They go after del Sol and Oliver with the former being knocked out thanks to some double teaming. Johnny Kashmere is in at #66 and we get a mini tag match with Kashmere/Oliver vs. Price/Radrick. That includes Radrick and Price both being tossed, leaving Kashmere and Oliver in the ring as Kurt Bale, Lance Scaper and Big Vin are in at #67, #68 and #69.

Vin and company get to wreck Kashmere and Oliver but can’t eliminate them as the American Giant (he’s 7’3) is in at #70. Giant gets rid of Vin and chokeslams Bale and Scaper for the double pin. There goes DeReiss as well so Parrow comes in for the staredown with Giant. Microman is in at #71 for the funny visual and Chiitan (a mascot with a big head) is in at #72.

Parrow gets rid of Giant and kicks Microman in the head but Chiitan knocks Parrow through the ropes. The Fighting Chicken (Prazak: “What in the world?”) is in at #73 and we get the big mascot staredown with Chiitan. Dr. Cube, the Hot Potato and Double Unicorn Dark (they’re kaiju from Japan) are in at #74, #75 and #76. The Chicken pecks away but the kaiju knock the mascots into the corner. Potato’s shooting star press gets two…and Aja Kong is in at #77 for the big surprise.

The Kaiju and the Chicken go after her but she knocks the three villains out and spinning backfists the Chicken for the pin. Chiitan, minus the hat, goes after Kong, who hits a spinning backfist for the pin. That gives us Parrow vs. Kong, with Parrow hitting a clothesline for the pin. Loco is back in and gets knocked out before going after Microman. Yoshihiko (a doll) is in at #78 and Stunners Kashmere out before brainbustering Oliver (just go with it) for the elimination.

Rina Yamashita (who hasn’t done anything or been seen in probably an hour and a half) comes in to piledrive Yoshihiko, who hurricanranas her out anyway. Parrow goes to throw out Yoshihiko, who throws him out instead. We get Yoshihiko vs. Microman but Nick Gage is in at #79 (announced as #87, but there’s no way I was THAT far off), the final entrant. Commentary says Gage, Yoshihiko and Microman are the final three so we’ll go with that as I lost who was still in an hour ago.

Gage hammers Yoshihiko into the corner and hits a gorilla press powerslam. The pizza cutter is whipped out but Microman makes the save. Yoshihiko crossbodies Gage but gets sent out, leaving Microman to suplex Gage. Microman pizza cutters Gage, who shoves him back down. The fans cheer for Microman, who is sat on top…but Gage misses a charge and falls out, allowing Microman to get the win at 1:57:51 (close enough as there was no opening bell).

Rating: B. Oddly enough, I had a good time with this. It’s a perfect example of “this is what we told you would be happening”, as there is nothing remotely serious about the whole thing, with stretches where there were dozens of people officially in but few were actually doing anything. This isn’t a match where it’s about the story or the action, but rather the whole atmosphere and wondering who was coming in next. This was pure, goofy fun and I had a good time with it, which is exactly what it should have been.

Overall Rating: B-. It says a lot when an eight man, four team cage match is completely forgotten but that’s the kind of show this is. This isn’t supposed to be anything more than one big party show where the fans get to see a bunch of people running out there and some semblance of a match taking place. You have to know exactly what you’re getting into, but if you can accept that, you’ll have a good time.

 

 

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Joey Janela’s Spring Break 8: Can We Go Back To School?

Joey Janela’s Spring Break 8
Date: April 5, 2024
Location: Penns Landing Caterers, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Dave Prazak, Veda Scott

This is one of the bigger independent shows of Wrestlemania Weekend and the biggest GCW show as well. The main event if Joey Janela himself challenging the rather unpopular Black Christian for the GCW World Title. As usual this show could be all over the place and that makes it more fun. Let’s get to it.

I only follow GCW to a certain extent so I apologize in advance for missing details about characters or storylines. I’m basically going based off what commentary or the wrestlers tell me.

Note that I was in the arena for this show, sitting in the sixth row with the entrance on my right.

In Memory of Virgil.

Opening video.

Rina Yamashita/Masha Slamovich vs. Minoru Suzuki/Masato Tanaka

Rina and Tanaka start things off with the former’s running shoulders not getting her very far. Suzuki and Slamovich come in but I can’t stop looking at a rather stupid looking fan. Looks like some overrated wrestling reviewer. Slamovich can’t get very far so it’s back to Tanaka to take her down by the arm. The fight heads out to the floor and we go split screen, which is more than most major promotions can remember to do.

Back in and Suzuki stomps away at Slamovich in the corner before Tanaka just slaps her in the face. It’s back to Suzuki who alternates between cranking on various limbs to keep Slamovich down. Slamovich manages a quick suplex and it’s back to Rina to pick things up. We get the “let’s stand here and exchange forearms”, with Suzuki getting the better of things.

Tanaka comes in for a top rope superplex, which he rolls into another suplex. Rina gets away for the tag back to Slamovich, who strikes both guys down. A double powerbomb gets two on Tanaka and let’s get a door. Splash Mountain through the door is broken up by Suzuki, who is sent outside. Tanaka puts Slamovich (mostly) through the table for two but Slamovich is right back with a crucifix for the pin at 13:48.

Rating: C+. This was a nice start as the fans are always going to react to Suzuki and Tanaka was a big enough deal in ECW for the local fans. Other than that, it didn’t get too violent and that left us with a mostly clean tag match. It’s nice to see something like that on a show that has a tendency to get nuts, though I’m sure that’s coming later.

Rock N Roll Express/Kerry Morton vs. East West Express/Mike Bailey

The Rock N Roll (Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson) are legends (as opposed to the East/West of Jordan Oliver and Nick Wayne) and of course good guys but Kerry (Ricky’s son) is a loudmouthed heel. Before the match, Kerry tells the fans to shut the f*** up and asks who all of these people think they are to get in the ring with the. And then the fans BOO HIM??? Kerry jumps the three of them from behind to no avail and it’s a neckbreaker into Bailey’s shooting star press for two.

Wayne and Oliver start working on the arm before it’s off to Ricky, who gets elbowed in the face. Ricky tells Wayne to run the ropes but Kerry gets in a cheap shot, which doesn’t work for Kerry. The fans sing their disdain for Kerry, who doesn’t take kindly to it but does take Wayne down with a slingshot suplex. Wayne manages a running uppercut for a breather and it’s Bailey coming back in to pick up the pace.

Oliver snaps off a double chop and…bounces up and down a lot. The East/West comes in for their double cutter out of the corner but Kerry shoves the referee into the ropes for the break, earning him a big yelling from Ricky. He even slaps Kerry and I guess that’s enough for Ricky to be Legal. A Canadian Destroyer hits Wayne and he dives onto a bunch of people, including Kerry. The Mortons hit stereo dropkicks for two on Wayne as Bailey makes the save. Oliver and Wayne are back in though and it’s the double cutter for the pin on Ricky at 9:21.

Rating: C+. This was more about Ricky vs. Kerry than anything else while also having the Rock N Roll in there. It made for a good enough story, but the action was only so good. You can only get so much out of the Rock N Roll these days and while that’s fair enough, it was smart to keep this relatively short. And of course with Bailey in there, because he comes complete with every Wrestlemania Weekend show.

Dragon Gate Classic vs. Reiwa New Generation

That would be Dragon Kid/Kzy/Yamato vs. Ben-K/Kota Minoura/Shun Skywalker. Yamato and Ben start things off and they go to the mat for the grappling exchange. With that not working, Kzy and Minoura come in and the latter doesn’t think much of what appears to be dancing. That doesn’t work either, so it’s off to the masked Skywalker and the, uh, also masked Kid.

A Stundog Millionaire drops Skywalker so Ben and Minoura come in for an assisted kick to Kid’s face. Ben does his rotating gutwrench suplex to drop Kid again, followed by Skywalker’s suplex to keep Kid in trouble. Minoura comes back in with a Boston crab, sending Kid straight to the ropes.

Kid finally manages to get in a shot of his own and it’s back to Yamato to pick up the pace. Kzy hits a big dive to the floor, leaving Yamato to suplex Ben for two. Minoura gets super hurricanranaed down and Kzy’s frog splash gets two more. Back up and Skywalker monkey flips Kzy into Kid and Yamato but Kzy forearms the heck out of Skywalker. Minoura is back in and gets caught in a crucifix to give Kid the pin at 13:53.

Rating: B. They were doing the showcase route here and that went rather well. It’s a case where you take a bunch of talented people and let them go out there for a bunch of fun spots for a good while. It worked well here with everyone going nuts until someone got the pin. Rather entertaining stuff here and it went exactly as it should have.

Cole Radrick vs. Aigle Blanc vs. Alec Price vs. Arez vs. Leon Slater vs. Marcus Mathers vs. Mr. Danger vs. Myron Reed

Grab The Brass Ring ladder match, with a Sonic looking ring above the ring, meaning the winner gets a shot at any title on demand. It’s a big brawl to start and everyone heads outside and thankfully we go split screen again. Radrick and Blanc grab chairs and go back inside for a duel, with Radrick knocking him right back to the floor. Mathers comes back in to kick the chair into Radrick’s head before it’s Danger coming in for a springboard legdrop to knock a ladder onto Reed’s face.

Now it’s Arez and Mathers picking up a ladder to clear a few people out, only to have Blanc break it up. We get the required ladder around the head (Price’s in this case) so he can spin around rather quickly to knock a bunch of people down. Price is down as well so it’s Microman, who stands 3’3, in with a tiny ladder of his own. He does his own ladder spin, resulting in a bunch of low blows for even more knockdowns. Microman sends Mathers into a ladder in the corner and there’s a headscissors to Price.

Back up and Price nails a clothesline before going up. Arez breaks that up with a springboard cutter so Radrick grabs the ladder, only to have that broken up as well. Mathers shoves a ladder over to send Danger into another ladder. Blanc misses a Swanton onto the ladder, allowing Slater to hit a Swanton 450 (that looks cool) to crush Blanc again. Mathers powerbombs Blanc onto a bunch of people on the floor but Reed pulls him off the ladder.

A F5 onto the top into a Downward Spiral plants Mathers but Price sends Reed face first into the ladder. There’s the big dive to the pile on the floor, leaving Slater to hit the huge dive over the post. A bunch of people check on Slater until Reed dives over the top for a cutter onto the pile. Danger goes up for the huge moonsault onto a bunch of people, leaving the fans pleased and everyone else down. Back in and Danger goes up but Radrick slows him down. Mathers and Price go up as well before going crashing down, leaving Radrick to knock Danger off and win at 17:06.

Rating: B-. This was the big cluster (ok maybe not the best word on a Joey Janela show) ladder match and it worked rather well. It’s the best way to have this many people on the roster at once as the fans get to see a bunch of stars in one match. It helps that there were stakes with this being similar to the Money In The Bank ladder match. There were a lot of people out there, but at least they kept things moving well enough.

Matt Cardona vs. Blue Pain

Cardona, with Steph de Lander and Jimmy Lloyd, is dressed as Macho King (with Queen Steph) and lets us know how lucky we are to have him. He was on TNA AND AEW recently and this weekend, his best friend Cody Rhodes will finish his story. Pain on the other hand is better known as Blue Kane and he’s kind of the Xanta Claus version of Kane: he wears blue, he controls cold instead of fire, he comes out to Eiffel 65’s Blue song, and he weighs two Cease And Desist Orders.

Cardona strikes away to start and gets scared out to the floor, as the flashbacks to the old US Title days are still real (that’s a weirdly clever idea). Back in and Pain uppercuts Cardona right back to the floor, meaning it’s time to stalk Cardona into the crowd. They fight into the balcony (not that high) and Pain loads up a table, only to get hit in the eyes with…something. Lloyd has to make the save but gets put in a chair and sent through the table (call back to Kane vs. Cardona back in WWE).

They get back in, where a de Lander distraction lets Cardona knock Pain off the top, setting up stereo Broski Boots. An Urn is brought in but Cardona hits de Lander by mistake (she urned that one), allowing Pain to hit the top rope clothesline. A chokeslam gets two, with de Lander pulling the referee out.

Radio Silence connects and another referee, dressed like Zack Ryder and coming out to the Zack Ryder theme, comes in to count two but flips Cardona off and kicks him low. Pain fights up with a chokeslam attempt, only to have Ryder hit him low, as Cardona reveals (and drops to the floor) a cup. That doesn’t work either so chokeslams abound until Lloyd is back. A fireball to the face (oddly appropriate) blinds Pain and Radio Silence lets all four villains pile on for the pin at 9:04.

Rating: B-. We can call this the definition of “stupid, goofy fun” and that is not a bad thing. Cardona is a big deal around here and it’s nice to see him getting to do something as silly as beating up a blue version of a monster who messed with him about ten years ago. Sometimes you need to do something ridiculous to give the fans a good time and that is exactly what happened here.

Gringo Loco vs. Amazing Red

This should be fun. Feeling out process to start with neither being able to get anywhere, including Red offering a clean break. They run the ropes and exchange some near falls until Red pauses on a big kick to the head. Loco isn’t having a handshake and knocks him outside, only to have Red snap off a hurricanrana.

The dive drops Loco again and Red sends him into the chairs before going back inside for the chops. Loco fights up and knocks him to the floor this time, only to let Red get back in due to that pesky respect stuff. Back in and a tornado DDT gives Red two more as they’re going back and forth here. Loco’s sitout powerbomb gives him two of his own but a top rope superplex is broken up.

Instead Red sends him down for a top rope faceplant but Loco hits a standing version for two more. Another powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana to give Red two so they both go up. This time it’s a super Spanish Fly to give Loco another near fall and they’re both a bit winded. Loco loads up…something but gets kicked in the back, allowing Red to take him up top for a super poisonrana. A top rope double stomp into a frog splash into Code Red is enough to give Red the pin at 15:55.

Rating: B. This was a way more straightforward match and it went rather well. After having all of the goofiness before and the violence that is still scheduled, it is nice to have something like this. Red is way past his prime but can still do some rather nice things. Loco is still more than good enough as well and they had a rather solid match here, at least given the circumstances.

Respect is shown post match.

We recap Mance Warner vs. Effy in an I Quit match. The commentary before the video said they’re former stablemates and now hate each other, but we’re not told why or what happened. Warner is rather violent though and apparently stabbed Effy with a drill to the head. As you do.

Effy vs. Mance Warner

I Quit and the fans do not like Warner whatsoever. We even get the Big Match Intros to really make this feel special. Warner hammers away to start and strikes away, only to charge into a German suplex. Effy hits a running boot in the corner and flips into something like a dragon sleeper. That’s broken up so Effy hits a spear to take Warner down again.

It’s time to bring in some chairs, one of which is thrown over the top and onto Warner’s head. Effy chairs him down and loads up a door, but does stop to chair Warner down again in a smart move. Warner is fine enough to spinebuster him through an open chair and a spinning DDT through the table connects. It’s way too early for Effy to quit so Warner chairs him down again.

Back up and Effy sends him through another door for another no, setting up a piledriver onto the chairs. Effy tries a Rough Ryder but is quickly powerbombed down onto the chairs as well. That’s nowhere near enough so let’s steal the referee’s belt to whip Effy over the back. Effy shrugs that off and grabs the belt, which he wraps around his fist to punch Warner in the face.

Some whipping in the corner makes Warner say no again and it’s time to bridge a door between some chairs. Choking takes too long though and Effy gets sent through the door, which is good for another no. They slug it out on the apron, with Effy snapping off a standing Blockbuster. Another door is loaded up at ringside but Warner grabs a chokeslam to send him through it as the violence continues.

Back in and they trade pieces of door shots to the head. Effy gets the better of things again and they trade low blows to put them both down again. Warner whips out a screwdriver to hit Effy in the head and it’s time to bring out some zip ties. The bloody Effy is tied to the top rope and Warner throws a chair at his head. That’s still a no so here is Allie Katch (Effy’s partner) with the drill…but Warner chairs her down and loads up the drill. Effy quits to save Katch at 21:47.

Rating: B-. This was the match that caught my eye more than anything else on the card and it told a story (unlike the story that we weren’t given about how we got here) but it never really got to that next level. Instead it was just a bunch of hitting people with stuff until they did the ending. It wasn’t bad, but I was expecting more in what felt like it could have been one of the best things on the show.

We recap Nick Gage/Maki Itoh vs. Danhausen/Ram Kaicho. Gage was unhappy with Danhausen for costing him a win so it’s time to bring in a partner each.

Nick Gage/Maki Itoh vs. Danhausen/Ram Kaicho

Kaicho appears to be a bit dead and Gage and Itoh have Discount Dewey Donovan with them (he still has a website, where he brags about how little effort he has put into it and has not updated it in about 18 years). The fans REALLY do not like Danhausen during the Big Match Intros and even he seems a bit surprised.

Danhausen and Gage start things off but Danhausen wants Itoh instead. The curse is blocked with a middle finger so Danhausen grabs a headlock. Itoh gets knocked down and Danhausen drops a falling headbutt, a signature Itoh spot. Back up and Itoh knocks him down so it’s off to Kaicho, who uses her….death dust to blind Itoh? With that shrugged off, Itoh hammers away in the corner and hits a running boot for two. Gage comes in and knocks a crossbodying Itoh down and an elbow makes it worse.

Itoh DDTs her way to freedom and hands it off to Danhausen to slug away at Gage, followed by the flying shoulder. Everything breaks down and Gage pulls Danhausen outside, where it’s time to grab a door. All four get inside and it’s a four way knockdown, with Gage grabbing the pizza cutter.

Kaicho blasts him with the dust though and hits a dropkick to put Gage through the door in the corner. Danhausen pizza cutters Itoh and pours the teeth in her mouth, setting up the running booth. Back up and Gage sends Danhausen through another door as Itoh drops Kaicho. Stereo falling headbutts give Gage and Itoh the stereo pins at 13:01.

Rating: C+. What were you expecting here? It was basically a way to have Gage vs. Danhausen and it wasn’t exactly good. Gage is as big of a star as he can be around here and more or less it gave him a way to get on the card. Danhausen has fallen really hard in recent months and while he’s not done yet, it would be nice to see him getting to do something else to freshen things up a bit.

Post match Gage thanks the fans so the winners can leave.

We recap Blake Christian defending the GCW World Title against Joey Janela. No one likes Christian so it’s time for Janela to save the title from a horrible champion. He’s also standing up to Christian for going after Missy Hyatt, because that is a thing that is happening in 2024.

GCW World Title: Blake Christian vs. Joey Janela

Christian, with Shane Mercer, is defending and Missy Hyatt (with Gucci purse) is here with Janela. We get the Big Match Intros and Janela is in the Lex Luger Summerslam 1993 gear, which can’t go badly whatsoever. The mic goes out during Christian’s entrance because even the electronics don’t like Christian.

They fight over a lockup to start and that goes a grand total of nowhere. Janela shoulders him out to the floor but Christian is back in to slug away. A backdrop does a bit better for Janela and it’s time for a door. That takes too long so it’s Christian hitting a dive to send the door into Janela for a change. We hit the hair pull, followed by a chinlock, which isn’t a good sign less than ten minutes into the match.

Janela fights up but gets sent outside, where Mercer puts him into the post. Christian sends him face first through a chair and even busts out a cartwheel inside. Back up and Janela manages a quick cutter into a brainbuster for two, meaning frustration is starting to set in. That takes too long so Christian is back up with a springboard elbow for two of his own.

Stereo clotheslines give us a double knockdown, followed by a DDT to plant Christian onto the apron. The door is set up at ringside but Christian slips out of a Death Valley Driver. Back in and Janela snaps off a German suplex, followed by the Death Valley Driver for two. Janela takes too much time going up and gets knocked down, allowing Christian to hit a springboard 450 for two of his own.

Christian sends him outside for the big flip dive into a Nightmare On Helm Street on the floor. A moonsault press is countered back inside and Janela hits a quick jackknife. Janela grabs a chair to knock Christian down and then wraps the chair around his head. Mercer offers a quick distraction though and it’s Christian coming back with a spinebuster through the chair.

A Stomp gives Christian two and the shock sets in quickly. Mercer throws in a mostly broken door and some chairs but Hyatt comes in, meaning Janela has to make the save. Janela knocks Mercer off the top and through another table at ringside, setting up a superplex through that rather lame looking door.

A top rope stomp onto the door onto Christian gets two but he’s back up with a quick DDT. They slug it out from their knees until Hyatt grabs Christian’s leg (only took her two tries). Christian pulls her in so Janela makes the save…and Hyatt hits Janela with the Gucci bag. A stomp onto the bag retains the title at 29:44.

Rating: D+. Janela has a tendency to go long in his matches and that was certainly the case here. This is a match that could have easily had fifteen minutes chopped off as they just didn’t have much going on here. Christian can do the moves well but he isn’t exactly a thrilling star otherwise. Janela did what he could but they couldn’t have telegraphed the ending any harder. Not a good main event, mainly as it went on WAY too long.

The fans throw in trash (the referee is NOT happy) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show started off well enough but it went on about four hours in total and the fans were just done by the main event. It’s a show where they needed to cut some time off from more than a few matches. I liked the show well enough and a good chunk of it had some of that strong GCW crowd energy, but the main event was rough. It doesn’t help that there is nothing worth going out of your way to see. Spring Break is supposed to be one of the really fun events and this was more forgettable than anything else.

Results
Rina Yamashita/Masha Slamovich b. Minoru Suzuki/Masato Tanaka – Crucifix to Tanaka
East West Express/Mike Bailey b. Rock N Roll Express/Kerry Morton – Double middle rope cutter to Ricky
Dragon Gate Classic b. Reiwa New Generation – Crucifix to Minoura
Cole Radrick won the Grab The Brass Ring Ladder Match
Matt Cardona b. Blue Pain – Radio Silence
Amazing Red b. Gringo Loco – Code Red
Mance Warner b. Effy when Effy quit
Nick Gage/Maki Itoh b. Danhausen/Ram Kaicho – Stereo falling headbutts
Blake Christian b. Joey Janela – Stomp onto a Gucci bag

 

 

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Joey Janela’s Spring Break 2: They’re Working On It

Joey Janela’s Spring Break 2
Date: April 6, 2018
Location: Pontchartrain Convention & Civic Center, Kenner, Louisiana
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Denver Colorado, Emil J

I’ve done parts of this series before so I figured I might as well knock off the rest of them. This show features a match that I’ve always wanted to see as it started one of the strangest comeback stories in wrestling history. Other than that, we’re in for a total mess and that is absolutely by design. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is designed after what looks to be a 16 bit video game, with Joey Janela and Glacier going after Marty Jannetty on the streets….where Jannetty lights Dink on fire to clear the stage. The second stage features Janela and Jannetty shooting at a Barber Shop (which can shoot back). With the shop destroyed, Shawn Michaels pops out of a DeLorean and superkicks Jannetty. That was different.

James Ellsworth is in a toy store and talks about working in WWE before coming here in his return to the independent scene. Tonight he’s ready to fight Matt Riddle, who doesn’t think much of Ellsworth.

Nick Gage music video. Is this just a really long pre-show?

David Starr talks about what wrestling has done for him and tonight, he’s ready for Mike Quackenbush. This is a really long pre-show isn’t it?

Quackenbush is in, and says so to Starr’s face.

Video on the Great Sasuke vs. Joey Janela, the show’s main event.

There’s going to be a Clusterf*** Battle Royal.

We start the series of videos from the beginning again as I guess we’ve got some time to kill before the show starts.

After 24 minutes of the videos looping, we’re ready to go, meaning we get to hear the commentators getting ready for the show and going over the match order.

The opening video is modeled after the WWF Attitude Era intro.

We open with a video on Joey Janela, which is basically a recreation of The Wrestler.

Teddy Hart vs. KTB vs. Tony Deppen vs. Eli Everfly vs. Gringo Loco vs. DJZ

One fall to a finish and DJZ would go on to become Joqauin Wilde in WWE. It’s a brawl to start (duh) with Everfly being sent outside. Deppen clears the ring but gets anklescissored down by Loco. Everfly is back in to snap off a headscissors before he and Loco come to a standoff. Hold on though as DJZ is back with his air horn but gets cleared out again. Hart walks on KTB’s back before pulling him into a sunset flip for two.

A torture rack backbreaker sends Deppen outside and a Project Ciampa hits Everfly. With a helping hand from the referee, Hart moonsaults onto a bunch of people on the floor. KTB dives onto everyone (Hart doesn’t go down) and Everfly hits a dive of his own. Back in and a springboard tornado DDT plants KTB and a super hurricanrana gives Everfly two on Loco. KTB comes off the top to dive onto everyone but Hart, who DDTs KTB down.

A Lionsault misses for KTB and Loco hits a springboard cutter to bring him down again. DJZ is back up and sunset bombs Loco into a moonsault onto KTB before hitting them both with a rolling DDT. Everfly hurricanranas Hart to the floor and takes Deppen up top for a…..super flipping Jay Driller (commentary: “He can’t do that!”) and the pin at 11:06.

Rating: B-. I’m not big on scrambles like this one, but there is something to be said about doing this kind of acrobatics and flips all over the place. It was certainly a fun match and the right way to fire up the crowd to start the show. Everfly’s finisher was completely nutty, making it perfect for a show like this one. Very fun stuff here and believe it or not, the fans loved it.

James Ellsworth vs. Matt Riddle

Ellsworth’s intergender title isn’t on the line (and I’m assuming Riddle’s unidentified title isn’t either). Ellsworth chop blocks him from behind before the bell but Riddle snaps off a gutwrench suplex to drop him as well. Fans: “WHERE’S YOUR CHIN?” Riddle hits a running forearm in the corner and the backsplash makes it worse. Riddle’s running knee just misses….because Ellsworth doesn’t have a chin. A superkick gives Ellsworth one but another is countered into the Bromission to give Riddle the win at 3:38.

Rating: C. Well yeah, what were you expecting? This was always going to be total destruction and it shouldn’t have been anything else. Ellsworth was always a joke and that’s how he was treated here, with Riddle, the indy prodigy, running through him. The missed knee was funny and then Riddle finished him off, as he should have done. That’s oddly logical from a show like this but I’ll take it.

Ellsworth flips off the crowd on the way out in a nice touch.

The ring announcer is ready to introduce the next match and….Virgil interrupts? He calls someone out (the audio isn’t exactly clear), gets no one, and leaves.

PCO vs. Walter

PCO isn’t the monster just yet. Before the match, Walter offers a chance to walk out but PCO gives him a crotch chop and we’re ready to go. They circle each other to start and PCO takes him into the corner for some taps to the chest. Walter works on the arm and gets kicked away without much trouble. PCO knocks him outside and loads up the dive, only to get run over with a shoulder.

The chop off ensues until Walter grabs a slam and sits on his chest. Some choking on the ropes keeps PCO down but he chops his way out of trouble. A kick to the head and short DDT put Walter down and it’s time to head outside. PCO loads up the first table but takes too long and gets dropped down onto the apron. Walter blocks a powerbomb off the apron and sends PCO hard into the steps, but the big chop only hits post.

As he’s a bit off, PCO goes up top and moonsaults down onto Walter and the referee for the big triple knockdown. Granted there was almost no length to the dive so it’s a wonder that he hit the two of them as well as he did. Walter is up first and powerbombs PCO through the table before doing it again (sans table) inside.

The second referee comes in for the two count so PCO gets booted in the face. The chops just wake PCO up though and he opens his own shirt so Walter can chop him again. PCO wins a chop off and the fans are actually on their feet as Walter looks scared. A discus forearm puts Walter on the floor for a suicide dive and a running flip dive takes him down again.

Back in and a super hurricanrana gives PCO two but Walter flips him over with a release German suplex. PCO is right back with a Regal Roll into a split legged moonsault for two (and another standing ovation). Back up and PCO hits a top rope Swanton to finally put Walter away at 18:29.

Rating: B+. Oh yeah this was rather awesome as it was all about two big guys beating each other up and hitting each other really hard. Walter was already a big deal but this would be a nice boost to his career. At the same time, it kicked off one of the most improbably career resurgences as PCO would turn this into an incredible second act to his career. It’s easy to see why too, as this was just hard hitting pain for the sake of beating on each other, with those chops making my skin crawl.

Post match they trade another chop each and shake hands before Walter leaves.

GCW World Title: Penta El Zero M vs. Nick Gage

Gage is defending and swears a lot before the bell. We get a CERO MIEDO vs. MDK chant off until Gage knocks him outside. The dive is cut off with a chair to the head and Penta chairs him again for a bonus. Penta’s chop hits the post though (with commentary pointing out that it’s two matches in a row) but is fine enough to grab some doors. Gage hiptosses him through a door in the corner and grabs a Falcon Arrow for two.

The boot scrape is cut off though and Penta Death Valley Drivers him through another door. A piece of the door over the head rocks Gage again and Penta puts some pieces onto Gage onto a table. The backsplash off the barricade doesn’t put Gage through said table in a nasty crash. Back in and Penta bridges a door over some chairs and Pentagon Drivers him through the door for two. Penta sets up another similar structure but gets powerbombed off the ropes through it instead. The chokebreaker retains Gage’s title at 9:27.

Rating: D+. This felt like a match where the idea was “Gage vs. this guy” and they didn’t have any more thought put into it. Gage didn’t do much of anything here and then retained in the end after Penta had done so much. That didn’t make for an interesting or even fun match from the usual freak show standards, so this was kind of a wreck.

Respect is shown post match. Penta leaves and Gage yells at the fans, who don’t seem to like him. Then he high fives a bunch of fans on the way out so he’s quite an odd duck.

Mike Quackenbush vs. David Starr

Starr does his long introduction and commentary (featuring Walter for this match) will not shut up, saying no one cares what Starr has to say. They fight over arm control to start until Starr gets two off a Thesz press. Back up and they shake hands before Mike climbs the rope and armdrags him into a leglock which he rolls over for what appeared to be a Crossface attempt, sending Starr to the rope.

Mike stomps on the foot and sweeps the leg, setting up some double knees to the ribs. The abdominal stretch goes on and even Walter is impressed by the series of twists it took for Mike to get it on. With that broken up, Starr Death Valley Drivers him into the corner twice in a row, followed by a springboard clothesline to the floor. Starr doesn’t want the countout so he throws Mike back in and gets tossed off the top for his efforts.

A Swanton gives Mike two but his hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb for two. Starr kicks him in the head for two, which has Walter wanting Mike to win because Starr is “acting like a d***.” A nice tornado DDT sends Starr outside but the big dive is cut off, with Starr driving him into the apron. Back in and Mike grabs a double arm crank but Starr slips out and blasts him with a clothesline for the pin at 11:37.

Rating: B-. This was the technical match of the night so far, with Starr being just enough of a villain to make it a little uneven. What mattered here was getting in something different on the show and they made it work. These two worked well together and you could hear Walter being impressed on commentary so there had to be something to this one.

Commentary: “Walter is it fair to say that the better man won?” Walter: “No.” Starr grabs the mic and puts Mike over before saying how glad he was for being on this show.

Clusterf*** Battle Royal

This is a Royal Rumble with pinfalls, submissions and over the top eliminations, though the entrance intervals are going to be shaky at best. We see some people in the back trying to check into the match, including MJF in a blonde wig disguise. Jimmy Lloyd is in at #1 and Session Moth Martina (she likes beer) is in at #2. Martina dances a lot and gets kissed for her efforts as Orange Cassidy (still just an indy guy and not a phenomenon yet) is in at #3.

Cassidy takes so long to come in that Wheeler Yuta (looking about 17 years old) comes in at #4 and Curt Stallion comes in at #5 for the grapple off. Yuta rolls him up for two and it’s Facade in at #6 to strike away at Stallion. Facade sends him outside and adds a rope walk moonsault onto everyone outside (as no one has been eliminated yet). Back in and a running kick to the head pins Stallion for our first elimination. Swoggle is in at #7 and snaps off some German suplexes.

With Swoggle cleaning house, Grado is in at #8 and he seems immune to German suplexes. Apparently Grado is quite intoxicated and Kikutaro is in at #9 and crotches himself while trying Old School. As some other wrestlers come back in….the Invisible Man is in at #10. House is cleaned and Kikutaro is tossed before Swoggle taps to a Fujiwara armbar. Joe Gacy is in at #11 and slugs it out with Yuta, including the handspring cutter. Bryan Idol is in at #12 and gets to clean some house before Chris Dickinson, in a mask, smoking a cigarette, and coming out to Real American, knocks out Facade.

Gacy is tossed and Yuta is Razor’s Edged out onto the pile (some are still in, some aren’t) at ringside. Dickinson hits Hulk Hogan’s finishing sequence to get rid of Grado and is left alone (I think). Dan Severn is in at #13 and they go with the grappling (after issues at yesterday’s Bloodsport). Alabama Doink (sure) is in at #14 and gets tossed by Severn, who is eliminated by Dickinson. Rickey Shane Page is in at #15 and beats up Dickinson….as well as the still in Lloyd.

With that not working, Marcus Crane comes in at #16 and gets beaten up by Dickinson. Aeroboy (a masked luchador with another masked man apparently named Crazy Boy….who looks like Excalibur) is in at #17 and starts cleaning house, with a Swanton into a double pin getting rid of Dickinson. Rory Gulak (or Drew, according to the rather drunk commentary team) is in at #18 and doesn’t like the idea of the match (with the sign to prove it). Nate Webb is in at #19 and walks through the crowd as Rory beats people up inside.

Everyone gets out of the ring as the fans sing Webb’s song. After taking over the camera, Webb gets inside and plants Gulak with something like a spinning Big Ending for the elimination. Ethan Page is in at #20 so Gulak kicks him in the head. That earns Webb a trip into the corner and it’s MJF (no wig) in at #21.

The masked men go after Page and MJF, with the villains tossing out the luchadors. With them gone, MJF Codebreakers Page into a rollup for the elimination. Martina (hey she’s still in this) comes back in and puts a condom on her face for a Mandible Claw on Page. She also wraps her legs around MJF’s hand for the female version of Joey Ryan’s penis suplex. Then Page rolls her up for the elimination. Cassidy finally gets in for the lazy strikes (the fans approve) and a double chokeslam pus the villains down.

That lets Cassidy go up….and fall off the top so MJF and Page can pin him at the same time. The Invisible Man beats both of them up until Lloyd gives him a piledriver…..which is illegal in Louisiana so Lloyd is eliminated. Page and MJF double team Webb for a double two count so they beat up referee Bryce Remsburg. That results in a beating from Remsburg, who gets sent outside.

Mikey Whipwreck is in at #22 (oh yeah this is a battle royal) and beats the villains up until MJF elbows him in the face. The Whippersnapper (Stunner) sends Page into a spinning faceplant from Webb for the pin and we’re down to….however many are still in this thing. MJF shoves Mikey off the ropes and hits a splash for the pin. A poke to the eye stuns Webb and MJF throws him out….but the Invisible Man rolls MJF up for the win at 39:38.

Rating: D. This right here? It was dumb. I get the idea of having a bunch of people involved and all that jazz but my goodness did this not hold my interest. I’m sure the live crowd (plus a lot of alcohol) really enjoyed it but it was a bunch of indy stars coming in, doing a little something and then moving on. It’s also one of those battle royals where it is virtually impossible to keep track of who is in there and who isn’t as people will stand outside for such long stretches. These things can be fun, but this didn’t have any big surprises or cool moments, leaving it as something that just kept going.

Joey Janela vs. Great Sasuke

Penelope Ford, in a Mardi Gras mask, is here with Janela. Sasuke comes to the ring with what looks like holy water to bless fans. A quick takedown doesn’t get either of them very far so they go to a grappling sequence with Janela twisting the fingers around. Sasuke nips up though and sits in the middle of the ring, which has Janela worried. Back up and Sasuke…apparently hypnotizes Janela and then spins his hand around, causing Janela to flip himself over.

Sasuke puts him in a chair at ringside and loads up a ladder, only to be whipped into it instead. Back up and Sasuke sends him flying off the top and onto the table for a nasty crash. Sasuke brings it back inside and puts Janela on the ladder for a missed Swanton, leaving Sasuke’s heck caught in said ladder. Janela grabs an inflatable alligator to crush Sasuke before loading up six chairs back to back.

With Janela going up top, Sasuke powerbombs him down onto the chairs in one of those STOP DOING THAT bumps. Sasuke hits him in the head with a door and then whips him through another in the corner. They slug it out on the apron and there’s a Death Valley Driver to plant Sasuke (Janela: “F*** YOU JIM CORNETTE!”). With Sasuke in a chair at ringside, Janela misses a top rope flip dive, only hitting the chair instead.

Janela is laid on a table and a big running flip dive drives him through it, which draws in Ford. A dance distracts Sasuke and Janela grabs a figure four. Sasuke gets to the rope, which rightly has commentary asking “IN THIS MATCH?” Janela misses a moonsault and gets laid over another table at ringside, allowing Sasuke to try and put a trashcan over himself and climb up.

This proves rather difficult (as you might have guessed) so he just throws it at Janela instead, setting up a Swanton onto Janela onto the table for the huge crash. Back in and Janela gets two (as Sasuke is mostly dead) but can’t believe the kickout. A Michinoku Driver onto the side of the ladder gives Janela two more, followed by a top rope double stomp onto a chair onto Sasuke for the pin at 25:16.

Rating: D+. To say this just kept going would be an understatement. It turned into little more than a hardcore brawl and that isn’t the most thrilling thing to see. Sasuke did a bunch of flips, but it didn’t exactly feel like a special match. Chop this in half and have some more wrestling and it’s much better, but it didn’t work for the most part, mainly due to the length and feeling like an indy street fight.

Post match Janela puts Sasuke over huge and thanks the fans, talking about how he can’t believe all this happened. Sasuke gets in a quick thank you of his own and they do a quick karaoke version of It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (sure) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a show where it depends on your viewing location. Watching this live in person would have been a blast, though watching it back at home just doesn’t work so well. The Quackenbush vs. Starr and PCO vs. Walter matches are both good (the latter being very good) but the rest of the show is mostly skippable. These shows would get better, but it took some time to get the formula of “fun indy show” down. For now, it isn’t quite working yet, but it could have been a lot worse. Just kind of a not great show that went on too long.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Gringo Loco’s The Wrld On Lucha 2023: They’re Getting Tired

Gringo Loco’s The Wrld On Lucha
Date: April 1, 2023
Location: Ukranian Cultural Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Emil J, Nick Knowledge

This is a themed show as we have nothing but lucha libre on the show. That alone should make this something interesting and hopefully it can live up to the concept. I’ve seen the previous version of this show and it went well so they do at least have an idea of what to do. Let’s get to it.

Mago vs. Willie Mack vs. Shane Mercer vs. Jimmy Lloyd vs. Bobby Flaco vs. Jack Cartwheel

We get the six way test of strength to start….and now let’s have the dance off. The fans seem to favor Mack but Flaco snaps off a hurricanrana to get things going. Mago gets to clean house, including a suicide dive to take out Cartwheel, followed by a springboard tornado DDT to Cartwheel back inside. Flair gets to clean house, including a top rope cutter to Mago.

Mercer, the strongest guy here, suplexes tosses Flaco over the top and down to Mack, who powerbombs him onto the apron. Back in and we get the Mack vs. Mercer showdown, with Mack changing his mind to dive onto the pile. Mercer’s springboard moonsault is broken up but we get a few more dives to make up for it.

Mercer cuts off Cartwheel’s dive and knocks him down, allowing Mercer to Asai moonsault onto a bunch of people. That leaves Cartwheel to hit the big Sasuke Special before some people get back inside. A bunch of people get to knock someone else down, with Mercer planting Flaco but walking into Mack’s sitout powerbomb. Mago drops Mack but Cartwheel hits a Red Arrow to finish Mago at 9:50.

Rating: C+. It’s the scramble match so you can only get so much out of the thing. This was about having a bunch of people in there so they could get in as much as they could in about ten minutes. The winner here is pretty much a footnote, but Cartwheel was getting to show off enough that a win is fine. Nothing that hasn’t been done a bunch before, but they did it well enough.

Sexy Star vs. Dulce Tormenta

They take their time to start before fighting over wrist control and then exchange rollups for two each. Back up and they go toe to toe until Tormenta sends her outside for the dive. Back in and Star hits a dive of her own as this is even so far. Dulce is whipped into some chairs and Star takes her, plus a door, back inside. They trade spanks until Star sends her….into but not through the door in the corner.

The Death Valley Driver through the door rocks Tormenta and it’s time for some thumbtacks. Naturally Torments fights out and slams Star into the tacks instead. The running knees in the corner rock Star but she’s right there for a slug out. They trade release German suplexes and both of them are down. Tormenta rolls Two Amigos until Star rolls her up for two. There’s a flapjack for two on Star and Tormenta adds Three Amigos. A package piledriver finishes Star at 12:35.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t a classic but it was a hard enough hitting match between two women who are capable of doing well. What mattered here was beating each other up as well as they could and thankfully they got some time to do their thing. I’ve seen both of them before and they were at their bests here. I’m not sure where, but I could go with seeing them on a higher level.

Aramis/Komander/Rey Horus vs. Arez/Black Taurus/Latigo

It’s a brawl to start with Taurus getting superkicked out to the floor. That leaves Komander and company to do the big stereo flip dives and the fans approve. Back in and Latigo knees Aramis in the face and kicks him in the back of the head to send him outside. Komander takes Latigo down with a headscissors. The double springboard hurricanrana sends Latigo flying but Arez dropkicks Komander into the corner.

Rey comes back in and runs the ropes before hitting a discus clothesline to Arez in the corner. Taurus is back to reverse Sling Blade Horus, leaving commentary in awe of what he is doing. Aramis tries to fight back but gets caught with a cheap shot from behind. Komander gets chopped hard in the corner and Aramis gets the same. Latigo hurricanranas Aramis into the corner and Taurus hits a hard running shoulder to the ribs.

The villains even tease going after Aramis’ mask before a powerbomb/neckbreaker combination plants Horus. Komander gets stomped down in the corner so Taurus goes for the mask. Aramis is back up, allowing Komander to stand on the villains’ shoulder and moonsault down onto Taurus on the floor. Latigo strikes away at Aramis into Roderick Strong’s End of Heartache.

Taurus’ double crucifix bomb hits Komander and Hours, setting up Arez’s step up Lionsault. One heck of a backbreaker drops Horus but Komander Canadian Destroyers Taurus. Latigo kicks Aramis in the face and all six of them go down. Back up and they slug it out until Arez is left alone. Horus and Aramis dive onto the other two as Komander hits a rope walk shooting star press for the pin at 14:07.

Rating: B-. They went with the insanity style here again but this one didn’t quite get to the next level. What mattered was having a bunch of people, including some who don’t get a ton of coverage, in the match at once and they pulled it off. The finish looked good and there was enough action throughout so this did what it was supposed to do.

Post match money is collected and respect is shown.

Los Macizos vs. La Familia de Tijuana

That would be Ciclope (not the WCW one)/Miedo Extreme vs. Bestia/Damian. Ciclope and Damian run the ropes to start without getting anywhere so it’s off to Bestia vs. Miedo. That’s enough wrestling so let’s go outside and grab some chairs. The fight goes around the arena (thank goodness for split screen) with Damian throwing a trashcan at Ciclope.

Back in and Los Macizos fight back with superkicks but Damian whips out a kendo stick to clean house. Bestia runs the ropes for a wristlock/headscissors combination and it’s time to set up a door over the chairs. That takes too long though and Bestia is sent through said door for two.

A German suplex drops Ciclope though and everyone is down. Damian (apparently 61 years old) kendo sticks Miedo and walks the rope before taking Ciclope down. Bestia loads up a chopped door but Miedo grabs him for something like a Blue Thunder Bomb. Damian makes a save but it’s something like a Doomsday Device through the door to give Ciclope the pin at 12:22.

Rating: C+. I wasn’t feeling this one quite as well as some others, but it was cool to see someone Damian’s age doing all of this stuff. It was a bunch of violence and brawling without much in the way of wrestling, but sometimes you can throw that stuff in there to make it interesting. Pretty good stuff, but it was only going to be so strong all things considered.

Respect is shown post match.

Negro Casas vs. Tony Deppen

Casas, 63 years old, takes him down to start and works on the arm but has to slip out of a leglock. Deppen bites his way out of a chinlock and flips Casas off before grabbing a modified abdominal stretch. That’s fine with Casas, who sweeps the leg and cranks away, sending Deppen over to the rope. Deppen bails to the floor and holds his neck before coming back in with a clothesline.

Back in and Deppen takes him down to start cranking on the arm. The arm is fine enough to hit a running boot in the corner before cranking on Deppen’s arm as well. Deppen fights back and mocks Casas, who pulls him into an STF. With that broken up, Deppen hits a jumping knee, only to get caught with a lariat. Casas’ signature rolling cradle finishes Deppen at 11:35.

Rating: C. Given that Casas is 63 and not exactly full time anymore, he looked just fine here and even got to showcase himself a bit. Deppen is the kind of heel who can lose over and over but get right back by being such a jerk. Sometimes that’s all you need and this was a nice treat with such a legend in the ring.

Post match, Casas addresses the crowd and thanks God for letting him work this match. In English, Casas says Deppen can be a great wrestler. After finding some of the money Deppen picked up from the mat, Casas seems to sing a bit before leaving.

Gringo Loco vs. Psycho Clown

Falls count anywhere and Psycho has Mini Clown (possibly his son but he’s No Dink) with him. Loco shoves Psycho off the apron to start but Psycho is back with a chair shot. They trade chair shots until Loco hits a suicide dive. Psycho crotches him against the post though and hits his own dive to take over (for probably ten seconds). Loco sends him into the chairs, earning himself a bunch of drinks to the face.

They brawl around ringside with Psycho getting the better of things and smashing a chair around Loco’s ankle. Psycho goes up but gets chaired in the head, allowing Loco to go after the mask. Another chair to the head has Psycho busted open as the fans are apparently calling Loco a male hooker. Dang that’s worse than a shooter. The alleged hooker grabs some scissors to stab Psycho in the head and now it’s time for a ladder. Psycho gets suplexed into said ladder so Loco grabs a door.

More scissoring to the head ensues so Psycho, tired of being stabbed by scissors, sends him through the table. A moonsault onto the pieces of the table onto Loco connects and there’s an Alabama slam onto a chair. Loco is sent outside for the big running flip dive and now Psycho has the scissors (life tip: always run when a psycho clown comes after you with scissors).

This time it’s Loco getting carved up and they head to the top, where Loco’s super Spanish Fly drops Psycho. Let’s bring in the big ladder, with Loco’s dive only hitting the mat. Psycho sets up a door over some chairs on the floor but the big splash only hits Loco’s knees. It’s Psycho up first (as he logically should be) and he whips out some cinder blocks (commentary is confused about why they’re under the ring).

Loco has managed to bandage his head as Psycho makes another door bridge in the ring. Psycho gets knocked onto the door and Loco puts the blocks on his head/neck before going up. Believe it or not, that takes too long too and Psycho belts him on top. Now let’s put thumbtacks on the blocks so a Spanish Fly can drive Loco through everything….but Loco rolls him up for the pin anyway at 23:23.

Rating: C-. Yeah I know what they were going for here but egads this was long. It wasn’t exactly good in the first place and then it went into the weapons and hardcore stuff, which wasn’t exactly interesting. I get that this is a big feud (at least it seemed to be) but they needed to cut out about eight minutes stop with the spots that take forever to set up.

Laredo Kid vs. El Hijo del Vikingo

The AAA Mega Title isn’t on the line. They start fast with the exchange of armdrags and Vikingo bails to the floor, where Kid hits a big dive to take him down. Back in and Kid cuts off a roll with a dropkick before sending him outside again. The chase is on and this time Vikingo hits a spinning kick to the face.

The running knees send Kid outside and the running shooting star press off the apron crushes Kid again. Back in and the springboard 450 gives Vikingo two but Kid grabs a poisonrana. Some moonsaults hit Vikingo and Kid kicks away at him even more. Vikingo is back up and goes to the post for a Canadian Destroyer onto the apron.

The suicide dive sends Kid into the chairs but Kid is back with a powerbomb for two. Kid catches him on top for something like a reverse (as in they both face the same way) super Spanish Fly. The fans want to see it again but have to settle for Vikingo grabbing a super swinging Rock Bottom. That’s enough to set up the 630 to give Vikingo the pin at 12:35.

Rating: B. After this weekend and the Dynamite appearance, you know what you’re going to get from Vikingo but he seems to be wearing down a bit after such a schedule. At the same time, Kid is someone who has always shown a ton of potential and absolutely has the talent to back it up. This was another way to showcase the flip and high flying, with Vikingo eventually lasting longer and surviving.

Overall Rating: B-. Pretty good show for the most part here, though having the same style over and over again can be a bit exhausting. There was more than enough in the way of high spots here to keep things interesting and some of the matches were quite good. It also had some names you don’t see elsewhere so the show is worth a look if you’re a big fan of this style.

 

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Joey Janela’s Spring Break 6 Night Two: The Greatest Clusterf……Hey It’s My 8000th Review!

Joey Janela’s Spring Break 6 Night Two
Date: April 1, 2022
Location: Fair Park, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Dave Prazak, Kevin Gill

It’s the second half of the show and in this case, it needs to get a pretty big upgrade over the first half. Night one was a decent enough show, but it wasn’t memorable, which is the point of a show like this. Now that being being said, this show is built around the Clusterf*** Battle Royal, which could be quite the mess. Let’s get to it.

Here is Night One if you need a recap.

We open with Joey Janela talking about beating Sean Waltman last night and wanting his flowers. He wonders why the fans hate him now but Spring Break needs a lethal dose of poison to turn it back into what it is supposed to be. This year, he is entering the Clusterf*** so he can end it once and for all. Maybe just don’t run it then?

Matt Cardona vs. Chris Dickinson

Chelsea Green is here with Cardona, who is currently the king, meaning yes he does have a Macho King crown. Green gets in an ALL HAIL THE DEATHMATCH KING and the fans are all over Cardona again. Cardona insults GCW and says they are the power couple of wrestling. Six years ago, he won the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania, but now he’s in this piece of garbage ring. If he was in WWE, like he should be, he would be celebrating his friend Mark Calaway, who he will see in the Hall of Fame one day.

Dickinson comes out with….MISSY HYATT to even things out, which is one of those names that makes this show feel fun. Both pairs share good luck kisses before the match, with Hyatt’s leaving Dickinson woozy. Dickinson wrestles him to the mat to start but Cardona is up to yell at Hyatt. That doesn’t work well for Dickinson, who grabs a cross armbreaker to send Cardona bailing to the floor.

Back in and Green grabs Dickinson’s foot for a distraction so Cardona can stomp away. After throwing his shirt at Hyatt, Cardona chokes with the wrist tape and then his hand for a bonus. The running forearm drops Dickinson again and a neckbreaker gives Cardona two. It’s already door time but Cardona spends too much time mocking the crowd, allowing Dickinson to backdrop him through the door in the corner.

The slugout is on with Cardona going to the eyes, only to get blasted with a running clothesline. The brainbuster gives Dickinson two but Green offers a distraction, allowing Cardona to nail a spear for two. Missy finally grabs Cardona’s boot and slaps Green, allowing Dickinson to hit a Death Valley Driver for two of his own.

Green offers another distraction so Cardona can hit a low blow into the Rough Ryder for two. Now it’s Green coming in and hitting Cardona with Missy’s loaded purse by mistake, allowing Dickinson to clothesline her down. The toss Razor’s Edge is enough for Dickinson to pin both of them at once at 12:43.

Rating: C+. You really can see why the GCW fans can’t stand Cardona in this run as he is one of the most annoying and obnoxious heels you could want to see. He is playing up the idea of being a big shot and that is one of the best ways to get heat from anyone. Dickinson is a decent power guy and looked good here, though Missy kind of disappeared for large chunks of the match.

Biff Busick vs. Tony Deppen

Feeling out process to start with Deppen trying to go to the mat to little success. Back up and Busick goes to the armbar, which has Deppen bailing to the ropes. Busick chops the heck out of Deppen, whose chops back have no effect. They head outside with Busick uppercutting away but a chop only hits the post. With Busick trying to shake it off, Deppen hits a flip dive off the apron and they head back inside.

Busick is fine enough to knee him down and the figure four necklock sends Deppen to the ropes again. Back up and Busick gets a little more violent by holding Deppen in place for some slaps to the face. Deppen is smart enough to go after Busick’s bad hand but Busick hits a running uppercut to take him down again.

Busick misses a charge though and Deppen hits a suicide flip dive for two back inside. Back up and the slugout goes to Busick until Deppen goes for the hand and grabs a Kimura of all things. With that broken up, Busick wins another strike off but Deppen avoids a charge in the corner. A running knee finishes Busick at 11:40.

Rating: B-. Sometimes you need two people to hit each other really hard and you got at least half of that here with Busick’s beating. Busick might not be a star in the making, but he’s an established hard hitter in the middle of the card and that should be enough to get him quite a few jobs. At the same time, you have Deppen as one of the better heels I’ve seen in a bit, as he is just straight up unlikable. Keep going with that and he’ll be fine.

Post match Deppen thanks Busick for the match but tells anyone who doesn’t believe in him what they can kiss.

Mike Bailey vs. Jordan Oliver

Bailey does his bow and they shake hands to start. Oliver does his pose so Bailey kicks him in the face and strikes away but Oliver is back up with chops of his own. Bailey’s leapfrog is countered into a faceplant and Oliver sends him outside for a big dive. Some kicks send Oliver through some chairs though and Bailey knees him in the chest.

Back in and Bailey kicks him in the chest for two, followed by the YES Kicks to make it worse. Bailey hits a running kick to the face in the corner and they strike it out again. Oliver snaps off a release German suplex and a sitout powerbomb for two but Bailey sends him outside. There’s the springboard moonsault to the floor and they strike it out on the apron.

Bailey gets the better of things and hits the moonsault knees, setting up the bouncing kicks back inside. The big kick to the head looks to set up the Ultimate Weapon but Oliver counters it with a cutter. A handspring cutter gets two so Oliver goes up, only to get pulled down with something like a One Winged Angel for the pin at 10:01.

Rating: C+. As is usually the case with Bailey, the action was good but he continues to have such a punchable face that it is hard to get into his matches. The good thing here was he didn’t have the stupid no selling that drags down every good thing he does, making this slightly easier to watch than most of his matches. Oliver has come a long way but still has a good bit to go before he moves up to the next level.

Effy says he shouldn’t be here but tonight he’ll beat Minoru Suzuki, have his own show tomorrow, and then maybe he’ll come for some gold.

Effy vs. Minoru Suzuki

Allie Katch is here with Effy. They both stick their jaws out with offers of a free shot but Effy’s attempt at a kiss gets him slapped. Suzuki slaps him down and then a kick to the face puts Effy on the floor. They head outside with Effy telling him to chop as hard as he can. That’s fine with Suzuki, who mocks Effy’s return chops.

A big boot sends Effy through the chairs and Suzuki cranks on the arm back inside. Effy tries some forearms but gets dropped with a single one from Suzuki. Then Effy bites Suzuki’s nipple and northern lights suplexes him for two. The big kiss staggers Suzuki but it’s a slap to the face and the Gotch style piledriver to give Suzuki the pin at 9:04.

Rating: C. Effy’s stuff may or may not be your cup of tea but Suzuki more or less squashed him here in a match with little to no doubt about the outcome. Effy was doing little more than comedy here so it isn’t like there was much to get annoyed about. They were going for the “wouldn’t it be funny if these two wrestled” idea here and I’ve seen worse versions.

Greatest Clusterf***

So this is basically a Royal Rumble, but only in the very loosest of terms. There are no set time intervals and I don’t believe there is a set number of entrants. I’m not going to be able to keep track of all of the eliminations, as I’ve never seen a version of this where they are all announced. This is going to be about total chaos and some surprise entrants and nothing more. You can be eliminated by pinfall, submission, over the top, leaving the building and…death?

Joey Janela is in at #1 and Buff Bagwell is in at #2 for your first surprise. Granted Buff is on a crutch but he has the American Males theme so this could be a lot worse. Janela wants to strut with him but it’s a superkick to get rid of Buff very quickly. George Gatton, with an unidentified title, is in at #3 and it’s a superkick into a piledriver to get rid of him too. Judas Judd Cassidy (I think?) is in at #4 and gets thrown over the top just as fast.

Yoya is in at #5 and suplexes Janela but gets caught in a heck of a package piledriver for the pin. Billie Starkz is in at #6 and a Gory Bomb takes Janela down but he raises knees to block her Swanton. That’s it for Starkz and it’s Juicy Finau (a big guy) in at #7. Janela can’t suplex him so Finau does it to Janela instead and it’s the even larger Sam Stackhouse, in Bam Bam Bigelow inspired gear, in at #8.

That leaves Janela to get crushed in the corner by back to back splashes but Stackhouse misses an ugly moonsault. Janela tosses both of them and it’s Rhett Titus in at #9 as Janela keeps up his Brock Lesnar-esque run. Titus wrestles him down and hits the running boot in the corner until it’s the Invisible Man in at #10.

So we have the Invisible Man, Janela and Titus with Titus and the Man slugging it out. The Man gets the better of both of them but an elbow to the face lets Janela and Titus beat him down. A double suplex lets the two of them pose but Man is back with a double low blow. The Man throws out Titus but gets stomped down until Dante Leon is in at #11. They waste no time in the next entrant with Ninja Mack in at #12.

Leon and Mack are long time rivals so they pose at each other before superkicking Janela down. A shooting star piledriver drops Mack and it’s a sick looking Jimmy Lloyd in at #13. Janela and Lloyd put on masks and they rehash their Social Distancing match, meaning they punch from a safe distance. Mack isn’t having that and kicks Lloyd down, setting up the running flip dive to drop Janela on the floor. Back in and Lloyd runs Mack over for the pin and Early Morning Guy Steele is in at #14.

Steele doesn’t seem to know what he is doing and falls off the top as Janela and Lloyd watch from the middle of the ring. Then Steele gives them a running double Blockbuster and a Canadian Destroyer each. Then he goes up top for a 450 to Lloyd, only to get rolled up for the pin from Janela. That was a weird one and it’s Blake Christian in at #15. House is cleaned but the Invisible Man hits Christian low. That earns him a dropkick and it’s Kevin Blackwood in at #16.

Blackwood’s suplex gets two on Leon and stomps on Janela in the corner until Hoodfoot is in at #17. Hoodfoot and Blackwood slug it out until Slade is in at #18. Young Dumb And Broke (Charlie Tiger and Ellis Taylor) are in at #19 and #20, giving us Janela, Invisible Man, Leon, Lloyd, Christian, Blackwood, Hoodfoot, Slade, Tiger and Taylor as this is far more organized than I was expecting. Everyone hits everyone until Deranged is in at #21 to clean house. With that going nowhere, Grim Reefer is in at #22 and has a smoke.

We now pause for everyone to partake, including Janela, who says he isn’t with AEW anymore and can do what he wants. Janela runs to the back (I don’t think he’s been eliminated but who can tell around here?) and Sandra Moone is in at #23. Reefer clotheslines her down and it’s Parrow in at #24. House is cleaned with Deranged and Reefer being eliminated almost immediately.

Big F’N Vin is in at #25 as Janela is having some Cheetos. Vin kicks Parrow out without much trouble as Janela wants to know his next spot. Nate Webb is in at #26 and comes through the crowd, who sings his theme music. Lloyd gets dropped by the Invisible Man, who hammers on Webb in the corner. Janela superkicks the Invisible Man though and tosses him out, much to the fans’ annoyance. Webb misses a charge and gets low bridged to the floor and Hoodfoot is tossed as well.

Shazza McKenzie is in at #27 and goes after Janela to start the beating. Janela gets in a shot to the face though and grabs a door, only to have McKenzie spear him through it. Janai Kai is in at #28 and Jazzy Yang (Jimmy Wang’s daughter) follows her at #29. The four women in the match stare each other down and it’s Edith Surreal in at #30. That gives us Janela, Leon, Lloyd, Christian, Blackwood, Tiger, Ellis, Moone, Vin, McKenzie, Kai, Yang and Surreal, assuming I didn’t miss any random eliminations.

Dark Sheik, another woman, is in at #31 and we have a six woman showdown. Uh make that seven as LuFisto is in at #32. Some of the guys come in to go after the women, with Leon and Taylor being tossed out. The women all beat up Tiger and toss him out with Vin joining him. Then the women get into it, with Kai kicking out LuFisto. Moone is out as well and McKenzie hits a Stunner on Kai for the elimination. Janela comes back in to superkick McKenzie for the pin and it’s Maven of all people in at #33.

Everyone stops to look at him so Maven hits a bunch of dropkicks….and then walks out for an elimination. Fans: “THANK YOU MAVEN!” With everyone else pairing off, Sean Ross Sapp, yes the dirt sheet writer, is in at #34, drawing a WE WANT MELTZER chant. Sapp gets a mic and begs people to subscribe to Fightful Select so they can read about GCW wrestlers getting fired by AEW. Josh Barnett, former UFC Heavyweight Champion, is in at #35 but fellow writer Denise Salcedo (not in the match) comes in to low blow Sapp and toss him out.

Nasty Leroy is in at #36 and Barnett blasts him with a clothesline as Jimmy Wang Yang is in at #37. Yang manages to take him down (not the prettiest but it worked) so Jazzy (remember, Yang’s daughter) comes in to grab the leg, which apparently counts as a submission to get rid of Barnett. Jazzy rolls up Lloyd for an elimination and it’s Alec Price in at #38. Price tosses Yang and dances a bit before getting kicked in the face by Jazzy. That’s enough for Price to toss her as well and it’s Cole Radrick in at #39.

Radrick and Price wind up on the apron and it’s a double elimination. Brandon Kirk is in at #40, giving us Janela, Christian, Blackwood, Slade, Surreal, Sheik, Leroy and Kirk (I think at least). Sheik hits Kirk low as we’re told Slade has left the building. Janela runs the ropes a lot until Lord Adrean (a Wal-Mart Guy) is in at #41. Adrean cleans house and Tombstones Kirk for the elimination, only to get Death Valley Drivered by Janela for another elimination. Kevin Matthews (you might remember him as KM in Impact) is in at #42 and stares it down with Leroy.

A not great looking Rock Bottom plants Matthews and a worse Rock Bottom sets up a leglock for the tap as Janela busts a gut laughing. Then Janela hits Leroy low and pins him and it’s Nick Wayne in at #43 for a brawl on the apron with Janela. Wayne superkicks Janela out for one heck of a pop and here is B-Boy to introduce Team LA Fights, which are six unnamed people. The team (Jai Vidal and Jack Cartwheel are two of them) clean house and something like a Styles Clash into a sitout powerbomb gets rid of Blackwood.

With those six in at #44-49, the Second City Crew (AJ Gray/Mance Warner/Matthew Justice/1 Called Manders and Levi Everett) are in #50-#54. The Crew cleans house with Matt Vandagriff (of LA Fights) being tossed. Damian Drake and Ju Dizz (I think) are both out with Hunter Freeman joining them. Cartwheel gets knocked out but walks on his hands until Manders chairs him down for the elimination. Vidal is tossed out and the Crew is left alone until the others still in the match come in.

Christian and Wayne get together to toss Everett and Manders. Somehow Christian and Wayne are the last two with Christian hitting a quick Downward Spiral for the pin…and never mind as yeah there are some people still left. Sheik comes in off the top with a spinwheel kick and the rest of the Crew pile onto her for the pin. Christian goes after the Crew but gets taken down and superplexed into a top rope legdrop for the pin….and that’s it at 1:23:57 (I guess Surreal was tossed somewhere in there).

Rating: C+. To be clear, this match is not about something coherent or anything more than having one name after another. That being said, this was WAY more coherent than the previous edition and that helped a lot. This felt more like a very indy Royal Rumble and, save for Surreal, no one was getting lost in the whole thing. I had a good time with this and it did fly by with some fun moments. It’s the kind of match that I was expecting from a Spring Break and it went well, especially with all of the insanity that came with it.

Overall Rating: B-. This was more like the Spring Breaks of the past and it worked out pretty well all things considered. It was a collection of some fun matches before we got to the big main event and that wound up working well. Good stuff here and it didn’t feel like a regular GCW show. While those can be fun, it’s not what I came into this wanting. The main event is all that mattered here and the other four matches were a nice bonus so we’ll call this a success.

 

 

 

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Joey Janela’s Spring Break 6 Night 1: Wake Me When It’s Summer

Joey Janela’s Spring Break 6 Night One
Date: March 31, 2022
Location: Fair Park, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Kevin Gill, Lenny Leonard

This is probably the crown jewel of the indy shows over Wrestlemania Weekend, just because of how insane it can get. Janela’s shows have a tendency to be completely nuts with some incredibly fun stuff and surprises. I’m actually looking forward to this one just for the atmosphere so let’s get to it.

Tag Team Titles: Second Gear Crew vs. Briscoes vs. Nick Gage

Gage is defending on his own as his partner, Matt Tremont, couldn’t make the show. Like him or not, Gage continues to be over like free beer in a frat house. It’s a big brawl to start and the doors are already brought in. The Briscoes bring in some chairs as well but Warner chokeslams Jay through a door for two. Mark is back up and Swantons Warner, sitting in a chair, down for a big crash.

Gage grabs the broken door and drops a twisting Vader Bomb onto Warner before stopping for the MDK chants. A piece of the table is used to carve up Warner’s head….and here is Slade to throw Gage a pizza cutter. Apparently Slade is Gage’s partner and he’ll carve up Warner’s head as well. Then Slade cuts himself because these people are not normal. Jay is back up to clean house, including Redneck Boogie to Slade.

Justice comes in with some chair shots and let’s bridge a door over some open chairs. Gage is up with some chair shots and now it’s time for a staple gun. Warner’s tongue is stapled to the door (good grief) but a piledriver through the door rips it free. Back in and Jay hits a Jay Driller into a Froggy Bow to give Mark two, with Slade making the save. Slade tries to fight off the Briscoes but it’s a Doomsday Device to give Jay the pin and the titles at 11:15.

Rating: C+. The nutty violence aside (hopefully far aside), this was an energetic match with the Briscoes adding some credibility to the whole thing. As much as I can’t stand Gage, he is the biggest star in the world to this audience and starting the show with him is a smart thing to do. Let him go out there and pop the crowd like no one else in GCW and get the show off to a hot start, especially if he is going to lose the titles with an out.

Post match the Briscoes celebrate before leaving Gage to get a hero’s applause.

Allie Katch is sitting in a room with candles around. Tonight she is facing Mickie James, who isn’t her dream match, but rather her fantasy. We get the infamous Mickie finger lick from the Trish Stratus match as this took a sharp turn.

Jeff Jarrett gets in his car, thinks he sees someone behind him, gets out to check, finds nothing, and gets back in.

AR Fox vs. Blake Christian

This should be fun and Fox’s wife Ayla is here with him. The fans are behind Christian as he flips out of a headscissors to start. Fox kicks him away and we get a staredown into a handshake. A dropkick sends Christian into the corner for a running clothesline but Christian picks the pace right back up. Christian’s dropkick into a nipup but Fox sends him outside for a heck of a running dive.

Fox gets a running charge for a boot to the face in the chairs but Christian drops him with a hard shot of his own. Back in and Christian hits a low superkick but can’t get a Border City Stretch. Instead Fox bails to the floor, allowing Christian to take him down with a dive of his own. Fox is fine enough to hit a twisting suplex for two and it’s time to slug it out.

Both of them try a cutter at the same time and we get a double breather. It’s Fox up with a rolling cutter into a rolling cutter for two but Christian hits Three Amigos, because Eddie Guerrero. A frog splash, also because Eddie Guerrero, gives Christian two but Fox is back up with Lo Mein Pain (middle rope Spanish Fly, which I’m guessing is somehow connected to Eddie Guerrero is well). Fox hits a 450 for two but Christian grabs a Spanish Fly into a wind up double arm DDT (that’s different, and called the Golden Trident) for the pin at 12:37.

Rating: B-. Yeah this was a fun one as Fox is about as much of a guaranteed good match as you’ll find on the indies. He’s just smooth in the ring and works well with anyone so this couldn’t have gone much better. Christian has been popping up more and more lately and you can see the talent in him. He’ll need something to make him stand out more but so far so pretty good.

Mickie James vs. Allie Katch

Effy is here with Katch. They fight over a lockup to start as we talk about what James has done so far this year. Katch takes her down but James flips up and we have a standoff. Mickie grabs a snapmare to set up a running kick to the chest but Katch is right back for the chop exchange.

The hurricanrana out of the corner is countered with a (rather enthusiastic) Katch powerbomb for two so Mickie kicks her low. Katch is fine enough to kick her down in the corner for a Cannonball and let’s bring in a door. Instead of, you know, using it, Katch knees her in the face to knock Mickie silly.

That means it’s time to load up two chairs and a door over them but Mickie flapjacks her through it instead. The top rope Thesz press gives Mickie two but the MickieDT is broken up. With neither going anywhere, they trade crotch grabs until a headbutt drops Mickie for two more. Back up and Mickie kisses Katch, kicks her in the face, and grabs the MickieDT for the pin at 11:18.

Rating: C+. Katch is someone who shows her potential every time she’s in there and it’s good for her to work with a legend like James, who can make her that much better. The match was pretty good as well, with the two of them hitting each other rather hard, though the violence was out of place. They also went a bit too far with the callbacks to Mickie vs. Trish Stratus, but the good parts were good enough to carry this far enough.

Post match Katch gets on the fans for booing James, because there is no Katch without James. Oh and that was the first ever women’s match at Spring Break. How is that possible?

Ninja Mack vs. Alec Price vs. Gringo Loco vs. Jack Cartwheel vs. Jimmy Lloyd vs. Jordan Oliver vs. Nick Wayne

One fall to a finish because we need a scramble match. They stare each other down to start and lock knuckles before going into the big series of kicks to the head. Everyone misses some kind of running splash and it’s another seven way staredown a minute in. The dives to the floor take some people down, setting up Loco’s big dive onto everyone else. Back in and Price hits an Alberto double stomp on Loco, followed by Cartwheel sweeping Lloyd’s legs.

Wayne tries to flip back in but gets sent ribs first into the corner by Lloyd. We settle down to Wayne vs. Oliver in a slugout until Oliver blocks a moonsault with raised knees. Cartwheel comes in to clear the ring but gets taken down by Mack for a twisting moonsault. Loco dives onto a bunch of people, leaving Cartwheel to knock Price outside as well. Cartwheel hits his own dive and Wayne is back in with a springboard Ace Cutter for the pin on Lloyd at 8:11.

Rating: C+. This was every scramble match you’ve seen in a long time, as there is little that anyone can do to make themselves stand out in a match like this one. There are seven people in a match that got just over eight minutes. Wayne is someone I’ve heard a good deal about for the last few months and I haven’t seen much of him. After this, I still haven’t as he barely got any time to shine with everyone else in there at the same time.

Joey Janela vs. X-Pac

This should be….something. X-Pac looks great and Janela is in Razor Ramon style gear, as a rather horrible way to get into X-Pac’s head. Janela knocks him into the corner to start and chops away but has to duck a spinning kick to the head. The Bronco Buster misses as well so Janela heads outside, where X-Pac hits a running seated senton off the apron.

Janela is fine enough to post X-Pac seems rather pleased with the fans hating him (makes you wonder why they bought tickets to JOEY JANELA’S Spring Break but oh well). The boos turn into dueling chants as Janela grabs a chair and pulls X-Pac back inside. X-Pac fights out of the chinlock and grabs a tornado DDT for a much needed breather. Now the spinning kick to the head connects and they head to the apron, where Janela is fine enough to grab a Death Valley Driver.

It’s time to set up a door over a pair of chairs but Janela takes too long, allowing X-Pac to come back with a slingshot flip dive to put him through the door instead. The X-Factor gets two back inside but Janela pulls him into a Crossface. With that broken up, Janela pulls in a bunch of other plunder, meaning it’s another door bridged over two chairs, because that worked so well earlier.

Janela takes WAY too long setting that up and going to the top, meaning it’s a super X-Factor through the door….for two as Janela gets a foot on the rope. Back up and Janela hits a super brainbuster for two and a double stomp through the door gets two more. Janela goes up again and gets shoved off the top and through another door at ringside. Back in and X-Pac chairs Janela down but a low blow and superkick lets Janela get the pin at 19:23.

Rating: C. This match just got on my nerves as X-Pac was doing his thing and trying to have a match while Janela was doing every stupid stunt that he could, none of which he bothered to sell. I know Janela is a big deal around here but you could see the difference in quality here and it was annoying seeing this be all about Janela. X-Pac might not be some all time legend (though he was very good), but he deserved better than this.

Post match X-Pac thanks the fans and puts over GCW, which he says is his family today. If you’re not down with X-Pac and GCW, he has two words for you.

GCW World Title: Jon Moxley vs. AJ Gray

Moxley is defending and Gray’s Extreme Title isn’t on the line. They start a bit slowly with Moxley taking him into the corner but getting shoved away. Gray takes the leg out and nails a spinwheel kick to the face to drop the champ (at least the one defending). A slugout goes to Gray and they head outside where Moxley suckers him in and takes the fight into the crowd.

You can’t actually see what they’re doing for a bit until Moxley gets into an open space and poses a bit before being knocked back to ringside by a bloody Gray. Moxley is fine enough to suplex Gray at ringside and it’s time for a barbed wire door. A release suplex drops Gray onto said barbed wire onto said door before Moxley stabs him with some barbed wire sheers. The barbed wire is used for a low blow and then wrapped around Gray’s face to make it worse.

A neckbreaker, with barbed wire, gives Moxley two and it’s off to an STF, complete with more barbed wire. Since that isn’t violent enough, Moxley puts the barbed wire door up in the corner and is speared (or kind of shoved) through it, due to wrestling rule #37. Gray hits a moonsault, mainly on Moxley’s face, for two and it’s ladder time, because of course it is. That’s not enough so here’s a door to go with it, with the ladder set at ringside and the door on some chairs close enough to it.

An STO on the apron rocks Moxley again and Gray elbows him off the ladder through the door. Back in and they get up to slug it out, because that kind of a spot is just there in a match like this. Gray blasts him with a lariat for two and it’s time for some….light tubes wrapped in barbed wire. That’s so stupid it even has Moxley backing up, only to come back with a jumping cutter onto the tubes for two. That and a piledriver get two, followed by a Death Rider onto more light tubes to retain the title at 22:18.

Rating: C. The match felt big, but every time they started to get something going, the violence got to be too much. The bigger thing here though was Moxley’s star power, which was more than enough to carry the match. Gray is someone who has impressed me just about every time I’ve seen him and he was good here, but as usual, the light tubes and doors were too much for it to be that great.

Post match they shake hands and respect is show.

Ultraviolent Title: John Wayne Murdoch vs. Alex Colon

Murdoch is challenging and Colon has beaten him a few times before. Colon has a bunch of belts around his waist and shoulders, most of which aren’t identified. Murdoch isn’t about to wait and hits him in the head with some light tubes during the Big Match Intros so we’re starting fast. Some whips send Colon into a variety of things in the corner and against the ropes before tossing him off the top, through a table covered with more light tubes.

Colon is already busted so Murdoch drives more glass into the head. Back in and Colon whips him through a door in the corner, followed by a running knee to drive light tubes into Murdoch’s chest. Then Colon stabs himself with broken tubes, which he then drives into Murdoch’s head. They headbutt it out on the floor before coming back inside, where Colon hits him with another light tube.

More light tubes do the same thing as the previous light tubes but Murdoch pops up and hits a piledriver. Colon pops back up and sends Murdoch outside, setting up a suicide dive with a light tube. Murdoch avoids a charge into the post and we pause as Colon might be seriously injured. Colon’s bloody arm is covered in a towel so Murdoch suplexes him onto more light tubes for two. A board to the arm sets up a cross armbreaker to give Murdoch the title at 13:48.

Rating: D. I can’t stand this kind of match as it’s the same stuff over and over. How many times are you supposed to hit someone with a light tube before it stops meaning anything? In this case it would be about two out of the thirty or so tubes they probably used before a dumb ending. What is there to say here? You had two guys hit each other with light tubes over and over until someone won. Rather downer of a main event and that’s never a good thing.

Post match Murdoch talks a lot of trash and tells Colon to get out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The show was actually pretty ok for the most part, save for a terrible main event. Swap in Moxley, who felt like a much bigger star, into that spot and the show is better, but still not great. Spring Break has always been one of the more fun shows over Wrestlemania weekend and that really wasn’t the case here. It’s not an awful show, but there is nothing memorable or overly fun here and that hurt things a lot. Mickie James and X-Pac are cool, but they aren’t enough to make the show feel all that important. Hopefully night two is better though, because this was the least memorable Spring Break show to date.

 

 

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The WRLD On GCW: They’ve Been Watching Too Much ECW

The Wrld On GCW
Date: January 23, 2022
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Dave Prazak, Kendall Gill
Hosts: Lenny Leonard, Pollo del Mar

Every now and then a show catches my attention and I’ll add it to the schedule. That is the case here, as GCW has become the hottest indy around at the moment and I’m going to give it a shot. I am absolutely not a fan of the deathmatch stuff, but apparently that kind of wrestling is not allowed in New York so we get a bit of a reprieve here. Let’s get to it.

Note that I barely follow GCW so I am not going to know much in the way of storylines or characters so please bear with me if I miss something.

Kickoff Show: Blue Ribbon Battle Royal

Psycho Clown, Dark Sheik, Cole Radrick, Parrow, Hoodfoot, Ruckus, Charles Mason, KTB, Juicy Finau, Steve Scott, Nate Webb, Big Vin, Brandon Kirk, Janai Kai, Dustin Thomas, Marcus Mathers, Yoya, B-Boy, Lufisto, Thunder Rosa

Clown jumps Parrow before most of the entrances have taken place and we’re starting fast. The huge Parrow fights him off but Sheik hits a pretty awesome looking jump up to his shoulders into a double stomp to the chest (kind of like Cameron Grimes’ Cave In). Sheik isn’t done and hits a top rope spinwheel kick to drop Radrick. Back up and Radrick runs Sheik over as more people come in (Are these entrances timed? That hasn’t been mentioned.), giving us Parrow vs. Ruckus.

Entrants keep coming in one at a time but with maybe fifteen seconds in between, making me wonder why they started so fast. Scott (I think? Commentary is too busy to say who these people are.) is clotheslined out as Big Vin takes his place. Vin grabs Sheik from the apron and backflips in for a World’s Strongest Slam (that’s a new one) before having a big hug with Finau.

The ring (which isn’t very big in the first place) is WAY too full here as Kirk is tossed. Thomas (the wrestler with no legs) comes in and hits a tornado DDT on KTB. Mathers and Yoya are in as Radrick is out in a hurry (and actually gets named). Mason (in a suit) is in next as this is just a free for all of people hitting one move after another with nothing close to coherence.

Now it’s B-Boy coming in as Clown hits a superbomb on Mason. Mathers (I think) is out with Sheik and KTB following him. Lufisto makes a big surprise return and there go Clown and Thomas. Thunder Rosa is the big surprise and final entrant so we look at her beating up Parrow in the corner while everyone else brawls.

Lufisto gets rid of Webb and B-Boy and we’re down to Lufisto, Parrow, Rosa, Mason and Vin. Rosa hurricanranas Parrow out and the women beat up Mason in the corner. Vin gets beaten down in an opposite corner until Rosa and Lufisto slug it out. Mason sneaks up and tosses Rosa but Lufisto suplexes both of them. Vin puts Lufisto on the apron and Mason drives Vin into her for the elimination. A low bridge sends Vin to the apron but he chokeslams Mason out for the win at 16:04.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t a good start to the night as I’m still not sure who all was in the match. Commentary didn’t do a good job of explaining what was going on and the camera work made it even harder to keep track of the whole thing. I’m not quite thrilled with where things are going from here, but hopefully we get something a little easier to follow going forward.

Kickoff Show: Jack Cartwheel vs. Alex Zayne vs. Grim Reefer vs. Shane Mercer vs. Ninja Mack vs. Dante Leon

No tags and one fall to a finish. Zayne is billed as The Sauce and from the nearest Taco Bell. The fact that he is from Lexington makes it even better. Mercer starts fast with a pop up powerslam on Reefer (that looked good) and there’s a big flip dive to drop some people on the floor. Cartwheel and Mack hit their stereo running flip dives to the floor, followed by dives from Zayne and Leon.

Reefer goes up, lights one up, and hits a big springboard flip dive to drop the pile. Back in and Mack punches away at Reefer before hitting the People’s Moonsault. Leon comes in for a cutter on Mack but gets powerslammed by Mercer. A super fireman’s carry flapjack drops Leon but Zayne clears the ring. Cartwheel takes him down for a slingshot hilo but Mercer is back up with a gorilla press drop.

Reefer kicks Mercer down and spins him into a Crossface with Leon making the save. Leon’s big cutter hits Reefer but Mercer plants Mack with a super backflip World’s Strongest Slam. Zayne is held in the ropes for a shooting star press from Cartwheel, driving Zayne into the apron. A chair is brought in but Reefer counters Mercer’s….something into a DDT onto the chair for the pin at 7:58.

Rating: C+. This was slightly easier to follow than the opener but that isn’t saying much. The thing to remember about a match like this is that it is all about getting your stuff in with nothing resembling a story being told. The match may be fun, but this is all about setting things up for the real card. Not exactly good, but a lot of fun and rather exciting, as is kind of the point.

Owner Brett Lauderdale comes out to hype up the crowd and talks about how hard it has been to get here. They were ready to take over the world but then the pandemic hit. He was told that a million GCW’s have come and gone but now they are here with the roster to make it work.

We get the entrances for the opener, which will start when the show goes on the air. This company has some AEW influences.

The opening video, which is rather quiet, shows a bunch of wrestlers in the empty building with their voiceovers talking about how they have no business at this level. Now they’re here to prove that they belong. Right on point here.

AJ Gray vs. PCO vs. Alex Colon vs. G-Raver vs. Tony Deppen vs. Jimmy Lloyd vs. Jordan Oliver

Ladder match, with the winner getting any title match they want at any time. AJ Gray is a surprise entrant as his scheduled opponent, Eddie Kingston, is out with an injury. They start fast (I’m not sure I heard a bell) with Deppen hitting a springboard dropkick to drive the ladder into Lloyd and Oliver.

Gray buckle bombs Deppen into the ladder in the corner and blasts him with a lariat before going up. His ladder is WAY too short though, meaning G-Raver does him a favor by throwing a ladder at Gray’s ladder for the save. PCO comes in, allowing Colon to lift up G-Raver for a Doomsday Device, albeit with a ladder shot instead of a clothesline to make it even worse. Colon hits PCO in the face with the ladder but Oliver dropkicks the ladder down to break up the double climb.

Oliver kicks Lloyd in the face and hits a dive to the floor. PCO hits his own running flip dive through the ropes. Deppen adds a double springboard flip dive to take out everyone, sending them walking up the aisle. As luck would have it, Gray is ready with his own running flip dive off the stage at the exact same time. PCO chairs Gray down and moonsaults off the top onto the big pile again.

That means PCO can climb, but he’s actually smart enough to drop down and beat up anyone trying to make a save. Deppen brings in a bigger ladder and bites PCO on the face but Jordan Oliver is there to cut him off. Lloyd breaks that up too but gets kicked down by Oliver. PCO chokeslams Oliver off of the ladder though and there’s a package piledriver onto the ladder to make it worse.

G-Raver and Colon break that up, with Raven putting Colon onto two chairs with a ladder over his back. Raver goes up, shoves the ring out of the way, and drops down onto the ladder onto Colon. Well that was dumb. Lloyd gives Raver a running Razor’s Edge over the top and onto a big pile of stuff on the floor. Gray goes up on a ladder on the floor and tries to dive into the ring, only to crash hard onto another ladder (the fact that I’m not sure who he was aiming for is a bad sign). Cue John Wayne Murdoch to take out Colon on the floor, leaving Gray to take the ring down at 15:11.

Rating: C-. The spots were good, but this was a very indy style ladder match, which is not meant as a compliment. There was too much going on between all of the people and it didn’t work so well. At the same time, you had a person shoving the ring out of the way to hurt someone else. That’s about as bad of a level of ladder match logic as you’ll find, making this quite the mess.

Gringo Loco/Demonic Flamita/Arez vs. Bandido/ASF/Laredo Kid

Lucha rules (duh) and it’s Arez starting with Kid. The trade early misses until Kid’s hurricanrana is easily blocked. An armdrag sends Kid outside so it’s Bandido coming in for Three Amigos. That means the Eddie dance as it’s a headscissors to send Arez outside. Loco comes in to hammer on Bandido, who is sent outside so ASF can come in. A wristdrag sends ASF outside for a change and it’s Flamita coming in to take his place.

The 619 in the corner looks to set up something off the top but Flamita flips off the crowd and drops down to flip the fans off instead. ASF is left alone in the corner, with Flamita and Arez hitting stereo moonsaults to the floor (that was sweet). Bandido and Kid get caught in stereo surfboards on the floor for the big running flip dive from Loco. ASF is sent outside as well, only to get launched over the top for the crash back inside (cool).

Flamita follows him back in for two, with ASF climbing Flamita to armdrag Loco. Bandido’s team is back in with stereo superkicks into stereo headscissors to the floor. The not quite stereo dives take out Loco and company but ASF and Kid miss missile dropkicks back inside. Flamita and Bandido are left alone for a big staredown, with Flamita kicking him down and hitting a huge frog splash.

ASF hits a 450 but Arez makes a save of his own. A dropkick breaks up Arez’s cover and a Death Valley Driver gets two on Flamita. It’s Bandido vs. Loco for a strike off until Bandido hits a heck of a tornado DDT. Back up and Bandido and Loco grab double electric chairs (as in Arez is on Flamita’s shoulders on Loco’s shoulders while ASF is on Kid’s shoulders on Bandido’s shoulders), leaving ASF and Arez to slug it out rather high in the air.

ASF snaps off a Canadian Destroyer (egads man) while Loco and Bandido hit powerbombs on the other two. Loco catches a charging Bandido in a Spanish Fly and everyone is down. Back up and Bandido LAUNCHES ASF over the top and into a hurricanrana on Loco. Flamita hits a dive, then Bandido hits a dive, then Kid Spanish Flies Arez off the top onto the pile. ASF and Loco seem to load up a super Canadian Destroyer but can’t get the timing right, leaving Loco to hit a regular piledriver for the pin at 14:10.

Rating: A-. The double electric chair was good enough to make this about as fun as it could have been and the rest was a bunch of insanity that you can only get in a match like this one. This kind of a match is designed to have a bunch of people flying around with one crazy spot after another and they made it work like only they can here. Bandido’s awesomeness has long since been established and it was on full display again with this one. Check this out, which you should always do with something involving these people.

Ian Riccaboni joins commentary.

Ring of Honor World Title: Blake Christian vs. Jonathan Gresham

Christian is challenging…or at least he would be if Gresham was here but we need to make a last second change. Worry not though, because we have a replacement.

Blake Christian vs. Lio Rush

Rush offers a handshake but Christian looks at him instead. They do shake left hands though and it’s an armdrag to take Rush down. Back up and Christian offers a handshake, which allows him to sunset flip Rush for two. Rush bails to the floor for a breather before heading back inside to avoid some charges.

Christian heads outside, only to pull Rush outside for a whip into the barricade. Back in and a tilt-a-whirl gutbuster gives Christian two, setting up a roll into a crucifix hold. That’s broken up and Christian misses a charge into the corner, allowing Rush to hit a spear for two. Christian is fine enough to catch him with a kick to the face on top but Rush kicks him down.

A ripcord Spanish fly drops Rush again though and a springboard 450 gives Christian two. Rush is right back with a twisting DDT and the Final Hour gets two more. They go to the apron where Rush can’t hit a German suplex to the floor. Instead they drop down, with Christian hitting a Tombstone. Back in and a 450 double stomp finishes Rush at 12:39.

Rating: B-. Take two guys and let them do their thing for about twelve minutes, which is all you needed to do here. Christian gets the win to keep him strong until he can get his title shot. Gresham being gone is rough to see but having someone like Rush as the backup worked as well as anything else. Good match, but they weren’t about to follow that six man.

We recap Matt Cardona vs. Joey Janela. Cardona married Chelsea Green but Janela faked some pictures of the two of them by a pool together, sending Cardona over the edge. The interesting thing is that Cardona is the huge heel who is mocking all things indy and trying to turn it into WWE. This has been one of the better things going on the independent scene and Cardona has had one awesome stunt after another.

The IF CARDONA WINS WE RIOT sign is a great touch.

Joey Janela vs. Matt Cardona

Chelsea Green is here with Cardona….who comes out to Enter Sandman entrance (or at least a cover), turning the crowd completely upside down in about three seconds. The “IF CARDONA WINS WE RIOT” shirt is an even greater touch. He also has a red flannel shirt with f*** Mick Foley on the back, while Green (with the Internet Title) is in the Zack Ryder half trunks/half tights. Cardona asks what’s up GCW Universe and takes credit for the sellout. Joey Janela didn’t do it, so tonight he’s ending Janela’s career before Tony Khan can fire him.

Cardona jumps him at the bell for two and flips off the fans. The fans get in a “F*** CARDONA/WOO WOO WOO!” chant so Janela hits a Death Valley Driver through the door. The suicide dive takes out Cardona on the floor and it is time for Janela to chair him down. A top rope flip dive sends Janela crashing through the chair though and Cardona gets to chair him down. Green pulls the chair away though and kicks Cardona low for a big surprise.

Janela goes up, only to get crotched by Green because it was a ruse. Cardona shows off the cup he was wearing but Janela is fine enough to hit a superplex to put them both down. Janela grabs the title, but here is Smart Mark Sterling (of AEW fame) to say that if Janela uses the title, he’s disqualified. Commentary: “But it’s GCW!” He brings out someone who is very influential in Cardona’s career, so here is someone in a Vince McMahon mask. It’s Vincent/Virgil though, and the distraction lets Sterling grab Janela.

The belt shot takes Sterling down by mistake though and a Death Valley Driver sends Cardona into the ring frame. Cue Swoggle to post Janela but here is a huge guy named Sam Stackhouse to take Swoggle out. Now it’s Marko Stunt to throw a chair at Swoggle’s head but Cardona takes him down as well. Janela brings in a pair of doors, with Swoggle and Cardona being put through one each.

Green hits Stunt with the belt and gives him a Canadian Destroyer, leaving Cardona to AA Janela through an open chair for a near fall. Cardona loads up two doors, which really does take too long so Janela takes him out. Green’s latest interference earns herself a piledriver so here is a guy in a motorcycle helmet. That would be Brian Myers, who decks Janela and helps Cardona hit a middle rope Radio Silence through the door for the pin at 19:39.

Rating: B-. It was a bit long, but this was a lot of fun with Cardona playing a perfect troll. Cardona knows how to make these people nuts by doing everything they don’t like and now he gets to take out another one of their heroes. The big flaw here is that the match went too long and you could have cut out a good portion in the middle which was more about several other people other than Janela vs. Cardona. This was all about Cardona putting together something else to get people to care about him though, as he continues to be one of the more creative people in wrestling.

Post match Sean Waltman of all people comes in and takes out Cardona before posing with Janela. I’m sold on getting to hear The Kings again.

Here is the injured Mance Warner for a chat. He talks about how awesome GCW’s locker room and entire crew is and thanks the fans for getting them here. Cue Atticus Cougar (pronounced Co-Gar) to say 44OH are the real outlaws around here. Cougar doesn’t like Warner’s Second Gear Crew so Warner is ready to fight.

44OH comes in for the beatdown, with Matthew Justice (Warner’s partner) coming in for the failed save attempt. The lights go off (BECAUSE WRESTLING!) and it’s Bill Alfonso and Sabu making the save. Chairs to the head put 44OH down and we actually get a pin, with Fonzie counting. Pantera’s Walk plays because ECW.

Video on Allie Katch vs. Ruby Soho. Katch talks about divine destiny, meaning that if something is meant to happen, it will happen no matter what. That seems to be the case with this match, as she runs into SOHO painted on a wall. Katch was billed as a big deal during Brett Lauderdale’s pre-show speech so she means something. I don’t remember her being much more than someone who did cat-esque things as Allie Kat but maybe things have changed.

Allie Katch vs. Ruby Soho

They shake hands to start and Soho armdrags her down early on. The threat of the Riott Kick is blocked early on but so is Katch’s piledriver. That’s fine with Allie, who hits a basement dropkick for an early two. Soho is sent into the corner and it’s a running hip attack into a Cannonball for two more.

They trade kicks to the face with Soho getting rocked, only to be able to come back with a German suplex for the double knockdown. Katch takes too long going up top though and gets armdragged back down for a quick two. The Riott Kick connects for two on Katch but she’s right back with a knee into the piledriver for two of her own. With that not working, Katch loads up a super piledriver, which is countered into a Riott Kick from the middle rope to give Soho the pin at 9:31.

Rating: C. I’d hope that Katch can do more than this as it felt like any other match. This came off like a match where a star was making a guest appearance in the territory with the story of the popular star getting a shot. It wasn’t bad, but there was absolutely nothing special to this and it just came and went.

We recap Jeff Jarrett vs. Effy. Jarrett doesn’t like GCW calling themselves outlaws because he is the Last Outlaw. There has to be a huge stable out there of people who have been THE LAST OUTLAW. There have also been guitar shots to show you how serious this has been.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Effy

Effy pulls $20 out of his trunks, which the referee throws to the floor. They go with the basics to start, with Jarrett powering him into the corner. Effy’s spins to get out of a wristlock don’t work so Effy drops to his knee, which freaks Jeff out for a bit. Some shots to the ribs set up a modified Tarantula but Jarrett is back with a clothesline. They head outside with Jarrett whipping him with the belt (which seems to draw a DADDY LIKES IT chant).

Back in and it’s time for more whipping and choking, which seems to make Effy smile. Jarrett uses the belt to tie Effy in the corner, which doesn’t exactly last long. Effy is back with more rights and lefts, setting up a faceplant for two. Now it’s Effy getting to whip away but he misses a Blockbuster. The guitar takes too long for Jarrett though so Effy pulls off his fishnets for some choking. That’s too much for Jarrett, who hits him with the guitar and grabs the Stroke for the pin at 11:15.

Rating: D+. I’ve heard a lot of good things about Effy and I’m going to assume that a lot of it is due to his promos and character work, because he wasn’t doing much in the ring here. All he had was a bunch of punches and a missed Blockbuster, which isn’t exactly stealing the show. That being said, Jarrett winning is a good bit weird, as he is the second outsider in a row to beat a signature GCW name on their biggest night ever. Not a great match, but you can see how much bigger of a star Jarrett is than most of the roster. If nothing else, seeing someone who seems like he knows how to put a match together is almost a rarity around here.

GCW World Title: Homicide vs. Jon Moxley

Homicide is challenging after winning a Rumble last month. The fans chant F*** BULLY RAY to start, which has to make Moxley smile a bit. They forearm/slap it out to start before going face to face. Homicide sends him outside but the dive is cut off with a shot to the face. The fight heads outside with Homicide biting away, only to get sent shoulder first into the post.

Moxley cranks on the fingers and hits a piledriver for two For some reason Moxley goes up but it’s a super cutter to bring him back down. They trade clotheslines until Moxley grabs the Paradigm Shift for two. Moxley hammers away and Homicide seems to lose a tooth. A chair is wedged in the corner but Homicide cuts him off and strikes away. The chair is on the mat and it’s another Paradigm Shift onto said chair to give Moxley two more. Homicide flips him off and bites Moxley’s face, only to get blasted with a lariat. The lifting Paradigm Shift onto the open chair retains Moxley’s title at 11:32.

Rating: C. That’s it? This was so short that I thought I missed part of the match, as I would have bet on it going a good bit longer than Jarrett vs. Effy. Maybe that is the result of ring rust from Moxley, or just time constraints from the pay per view, but this wasn’t exactly great. It worked while it lasted, but it just didn’t last very long.

Video on the Briscoes, who are issuing an open challenge for the Tag Team Titles. Most signs would suggest that this is going to be FTR, but you never know around here.

Tag Team Titles: Briscoes vs. ???/???

The Briscoes are defending against….Nick Gage/Matt Tremont. Well you knew Gage would be on here somehow. Gage puts Nick through the door in the corner to start and it’s time for a duel of the chairs. Mark and Nick trade pieces of door shots to the head but Jay breaks up the pizza cutter. Tremont gets beaten down and the Froggy Bow onto a door gets two on Gage. Back up and Tremont hits a release Rock Bottom to plant Jay and Gage hits a middle rope piledriver on Mark. The chokebreaker gives Gage the pin and the titles at 5:35.

Rating: D. That was a Nick Gage match alright, but this time he had a huge partner to do some really basic stuff too. I know why Gage had to be on the show but it isn’t like his matches are much to see. It’s the feel good moment of the show, though having it come in a five minute match didn’t do the show many favors.

Post match Gage swears a lot and puts over his gang while bragging about how far GCW came. The locker room comes in to celebrate and we’re out.

Overall Rating: D+. One of the shows you are probably going to see this compared to is Barely Legal. While it is nowhere near that important (or good), there is one thing that does stand out. My biggest issue with Barely Legal was the lack of an explanation of why Sabu and Taz hated each other. It was the “Grudge Match of the Century” but we were never told why they were fighting. The ECW fans knew, but Barely Legal wasn’t just a show for the ECW fans.

Now do that for three hours and you have this show. There was barely anything explaining who these people were, what they were doing here, why they were fighting or ANYTHING about them. Cardona vs. Janela had a bit of backstory, but this felt like the game plan was “just keep doing what we’ve been doing (minus the deathmatch stuff, which isn’t their fault)”. It was a show that you either got or didn’t get, with GCW not offering much in the way of guidance.

On top of that, the wrestling was hit and miss at best. Everything felt rushed and very little really stood out. The lucha match was great, but you could get one of those a week on Ring of Honor. Cardona is excellent at riffing on independent wrestling, but then he won, just like Soho over what seems to be the big female star around here. This show didn’t do a thing to make me more interested in GCW and as the big debut on the national stage, it was a pretty hard miss.

 

 

 

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No Peace Underground: Shallow Graves: I Bring This On Myself

Shallow Graves
Date: April 10, 2021
Location: Cuban Club, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Drenen, Kid Osborne

This is another one from Wrestlemania Weekend and I’m not sure what to expect. I have a bad feeling that I’m getting into another hardcore/deathmatch/no rules kind of show and that is not going to be my cup of orange juice. Hopefully they surprise me and there are some talented names on the roster. Let’s get to it.

I know nothing about what is going on here so forgive me if I don’t know some storylines or characters.

After six minutes of a logo to start things off, James Mitchell joins us to say that we should beware of the pale horse called death.

The opening video looks at various death like things, including vultures and someone being buried, with the horror movie style credits running down the card (that’s clever).

Ryan Fox welcomes us to the show and talks about how this show is a year in the making. I’m assuming he’s the promoter, as he hypes up the opener.

So apparently this promotion doesn’t have a ring, but rather an open space with a bunch of weapons provided. Oh dear indeed.

The End vs. The Hustle and the Muscle

The End is Parrow/Odinson, a pair of hosses while Hustle/Muscle is Rohit Raju/Jake Something. Announcer: “Coming to the floor!” That’s going to take some getting used to. Hold on though as Raju needs a mic. Raju congratulates the fans for making it to the final show of the Collective and says how lucky they are to see some real wrestlers. He goes on a rant about how stupid Twitter is and now many fans pretend bad wrestlers are good.

It’s time to start and the brawl is on, sans bell (mainly because having a ring bell sans ring doesn’t make sense). They split up and fight around the….I guess the term is arena, as you probably saw coming. The cameras keep cutting back and forth between brawls as Osborne talks about how he could jump in there if he wanted to. Odinson swings Raju into a wall over and over as Parrow chairs Something in the back.

Something is sandwiched between some chairs, with Odinson hitting an AA onto the chairs (or a fireman’s carry into a backsplash according to Drenen). The fights split up again with Odinson kicking Raju in the face and Something planting Parrow onto a chair. Raju knees Odinson down some steps and a running knee knocks Odinson silly again. Some chairs are loaded up and Something throws Raju at Odinson, who counters into a spinebuster onto those chairs.

Something takes Odinson right back down though and sets up two chairs, with a door layed onto it like a ramp. Parrow is back up to throw Raju through a door as Osborne will not shut up about how great he was son other shows. Something is powerbombed against a wall and a chokeslam puts Raju through another door bridged over some chairs.

Jake breaks some lighttubes over Parrow’s head and gets glared at so all four grab chairs for the double duel. Parrow, with a very bloody back, gets the best of things but can’t follow up, leaving everyone down. Osborne: “I would have been the first one up. They were swinging those chairs like b******.” They’re all back up so the End can hit a Super Collider and the pin at 10:08.

Rating: C. What are you supposed to say about something like this? It isn’t a wrestling match and the weapons were there to make it even worse, but the End feel like a good power team. It’s going to take some time to get used to this stuff, but hopefully they tone the violence down a bit. I mean, I don’t think they will, but it gives me some hope for the next two hours.

Bam Sullivan, the Trash With The Stache, who looks to be an old western guy, is ready for Bobby Beverly. I’m not sure why he has a slice of pizza on his vest.

Ryan Fox hypes up the next match, as I’m assuming he’ll be doing for every match.

Bobby Beverly vs. Bam Sullivan

Actually never mind as both of them are injured. Worry not though as Osborne is right there to say he’s still a better promo than Sullivan anyway.

AJ Gray vs. Hardway Heeter

This is a replacement match and there is an inflatable alligator in the middle of the floor. Before the match, Gray isn’t happy with not being on the show in the first place and swears a lot. Heeter comes out with a bunch of red lights flashing and hits Gray with some lighttubes. Gray is back with some chair and lighttube shots of his own and it’s time to carve Heeter’s head open.

Heeter is back with more lighttubes, because five lighttubes are more impressive than one. Some chair shots each put them both down for a bit, with Heeter getting the better of things. They both grab lighttubes and break them over the other’s head, setting up a suplex to drop Heeter on the inflatable alligator. Gray has some goons load up a sheet of glass as Osborne complains about his lack of a title shot. Heeter fights back so he gets hit with a bunch of lighttubes, setting up a suplex off a platform and through the glass to finish Heeter at 4:30.

Rating: D. Yeah this was the bad one that I was expecting, as it was all about the lighttubes and glass because that’s the gold standard in a match like this. I wasn’t big on this whatsoever and Heeter looked like every indy guy in this kind of a promotion. Gray can do good stuff in regular matches, and the only good thing about this was that it was short.

Wolfe Taylor is tired of being buried around here in favor of all of the indy darlings. He’s never being buried again. At least they put a name with a face here.

And now, an intermission. I can go with the classic campy horror movie footage instead of just a graphic.

Said intermission is about a minute long, making me wonder what the point was. Did they run out of vignettes?

JJ Garrett vs. Cole Radrick vs. Wolfe Taylor vs. Jimmy Lloyd vs. Jordan Oliver

Everyone is brawling at once and it’s one fall to a finish. Garrett looks like a young Scott Steiner (including dressing like him and his intro mentioned Steiner) and Rardick is a small but talented guy. Hold on though as we have some replacements, with Oliver not actually here for whatever reason.

JJ Garrett vs. Cole Radrick vs. Wolfe Taylor vs. Jimmy Lloyd vs. Kevin Blackwood vs. Devon Monroe

Everyone is brawling at once and it’s one fall to a finish. Monroe is basically Sonny Kiss and is billed as Black Sexcellence. Lloyd is in a Hurt Business shirt and commentary references some kind of appearance he made involving the team. Blackwood is another surprise entrant and there is no mention of Oliver not being included. Everyone gets in a circle and Blackwood sits down in the middle because he’s a little odd.

That goes nowhere so it’s time to exchange strikes, with Blackwood getting the better of things. Taylor and Garrett exchange for a bit until Radrick interrupts to take Garrett down with a headscissors. Monroe knees Radrick in the face as people start pairing off. Blackwood sends Taylor into a metal hand rail and Lloyd hits Monroe in the face. That leaves us with the Blackwood vs. Lloyd showdown (the world has been waiting), which switches into Blackwood vs. Radrick for a more positive reaction.

They slap each other in the face over and over with Radrick getting the better of things, at least until a double kick to the face puts them both down. Wolfe gives Lloyd a tornado DDT onto the floor but grabs a chair instead of covering (Gorilla Monsoon would not approve). With the wrestling getting boring, it’s time to grab a door/frame/lighttube contraption. Lloyd Rock Bottoms Wolfe through it for two, because that isn’t a big enough spot yet.

Radrick puts Lloyd on a door bridged over chairs (Commentary: “WHEN WAS THAT SET UP???”) for a running cannonball off some steps. With that not even breaking the door, Radrick drops Blackwood onto an open chair. Blackwood pops up and Death Valley Drivers Radrick through the door but here’s Monroe to go after Blackwood instead. A discus forearm knocks Blackwood silly so here is Garrett to jump Monroe. Wolfe is back up for a fireman’s carry backbreaker to Garrett, followed by some face ripping….which is enough for the tap at 8:30.

Rating: C. Again, what are you expecting from something like this? It’s a bunch of people running around doing everything they can and no one got to stand out as a result. That’s how a match like this is always going to work, no matter how annoying it might be. I’ve never been a fan of these things, but you know you’re going to get one on a big indy show.

James Mitchell misquotes the Bible.

Matthew Justice vs. Erick Redbeard

Redbeard is of course better known as Erick Rowan and this is fallout from Redbeard jumping Justice at the end of a previous show. They throw trashcans at each other to start and then get to the more effective slugout. Justice gets in some chair shots but Redbeard hits him in the back and then throws a chair, setting up something like a Van Daminator. More chair shots have Justice down as commentary is convinced that all hope is lost. A table is set up but first Redbeard needs to kick Justice in the face.

That just wakes Justice up enough to send him into a door against a wall to start the comeback. Some chair shots keep Redbeard in trouble but he’s back with a trashcan over Justice’s head. Said trashcan is thrown (Fan: “THAT TRASHCAN HAS A FAMILY!!!”) but Redbeard is sent face first into a support beam. Redbeard BLASTS HIM In the face with a door and then hits the ground next to Justice with the door for a rather miserable visual. It’s time for the belt to come off for some whipping and choking, followed by a hanging from the stands.

Justice gets sent into a wall but avoids a charge to send Redbeard into it as well. A flip dive off the steps finally puts Redbeard down and now it’s time to whip him for a change. Justice chokes with the belt and throws a chair at his back to make it worse. A splash out of the stands drives Redbeard through a door for two so Justice tries it again, only to get trashcanned out of the air. Redbeard loads up a bunch of chairs and, after smacking Justice in the face, hits a claw slam off the stage onto the broken door and chairs for the pin at 11:47.

Rating: C-. This was a watchable enough back and forth big guy vs. little guy match and it worked out well enough. It’s nice to see Redbeard winning and that slap to the face was a great shot. I’m surprised Redbeard hasn’t gotten a deal with a bigger promotion yet, but he looked good as a monster here.

Respect is shown post match, which kind of defeats the purpose of a grudge.

Fox’s explanation for the next match: two guys beating on each other.

Mance Warner vs. Conor Claxton

This is a No Win Deathmatch, which I guess is different than the previous matches in….some way that isn’t important enough to explain. Warner coming out to Simple Man is rather great, while Claxton pulling out a cigarette, not so much. Joey Janela jumps in on commentary to make it more, ahem, interesting.

Warner throws him a lighttube and we’re going to be starting with a duel. That means hitting each other with the lighttubes, followed by a chain whip to Claxton’s back. The eye poke has Balor staggering off and Warner hits him with various other weapons. The bloody Claxton gets in a few shots of his own and sends Warner head first into a street sign on the floor. Warner is right back with the Bionic low blow as Claxton is favoring a previous shoulder injury.

There’s a lighttube shot over Claxton’s head and it is time to walk around some more. Claxton whips him through a door and stomps away though, meaning it’s time to wrap a chain around his hand. Janela shouts even more, going on about what he has been doing today. That’s it for Janela, who is off to do something else as Warner makes a comeback.

A DDT onto the floor isn’t even good enough to make Warner cover, with Osborne (accurately for once) yelling about how stupid that was. Some fan hands Warner more lighttubes (because he had those) and Warner finds a staple gun to make it worse. Warner steals the syringes that Claxton brought with him and stabs him in the mouth, because that’s how things go around here. A running knee drives the lighttubes into Claxton’s head (good thing he held them in place) for the pin at 8:41.

Rating: D-. Yeah this was bad, as it was nothing but a bunch of walking around with one spot after another. They threw in some lighttubes to try and make it more violent but this felt like it just came and went. I like Warner’s work from MLW, but this wasn’t working as it was the bad kind of deathmatch nonsense and didn’t do anything.

G-Raver is a monster but Su Yung has sent him an evil rose and James Mitchell is ready for her to end G-Raver for good.

Another intermission, featuring a funeral home documentary.

A woman named Jamie Senegal (I think?) says this show needs a diva so she’ll be a guest referee.

G-Raver vs. Su Yung

Senegal is guest referee and doesn’t seem that popular. Yung chases Jamie off to start and then stops to yell at the stairs. They go to opposite ends of the room and we’re ready to go, with the referee calling for a bell for the first time tonight. Raver throws her into a wall to start but Yung is back with a whip into the steps. A chair is tossed at Raver’s head but he shrugs it off and hammers away.

Raver knocks her down and gets in a stomp to the back but Yung hits him in the face. The spear sends Raver through a door for a delayed two and Yung needs a breather. Raver hits a kendo stick shot to the back but Yung gets in a few stick shots of her own. Cue a parade of undead brides and they’ve got glass. This takes so long that Raver is able to hit a knee to the face for his own delayed two.

Raver busts out some tattoo needles (I remember Race and Brisco doing that back in 74) and stabs them into Yung’s head (Race vs. Brisco in 75) but Yung mists him. Yung takes some time getting up and a double clothesline puts both of them down again. A palm strike knocks Raver down again and they get over to the glass stretched out on the chairs.

Both escape finishers until the Panic Switch sends Raver through the glass for two (with commentary freaking out). Cue the undead brides again as Yung puts on Raver’s mask. She also grabs the….whatever the Grim Reaper carries with him but can’t quite stab him. Instead, Raver powerbombs her onto the brides for the pin, despite the referee implying Yung kicked out.

Rating: D+. At least there was something of a story here, even if it wasn’t good for the most part. Yung is one of the better evil/dead characters you’ll see and she plays the part rather well. Raver is someone I’ve heard of before but he didn’t show me much here. The ending being messed up didn’t help either, but pinning someone on a pile of people can’t be easy.

Post match Yung is back up with a Mandible Claw and a bag of thumbtacks. Said tacks are put in Raver’s mouth for a palm strike, but he’s right back with a brainbuster onto a chair so he can leave. The undead brides carry Yung away, as is their custom.

Fox says all good things must come to an end, but he isn’t sure if he would call everything tonight good. Preach it brother.

Alex Colon vs. Masada

Deathmatch dream match or something. They go straight to the brawling with Colon punching away. Masada is back up trade various hard shots to the head, with Masada missing a bunch of chair shots. Colon gets a trashcan put over his head as they fight up into the crowd. The bloody Masada gets the better of things as they fight back down to the floor with Colon in trouble. Some chairs are set up with a big skewer board being sat on top of it.

Masada puts some of the skewers in Colon’s head and adds some sign shots. Colon puts some skewers back into Masada’s head, allowing him to walk around for the horrible visual. They slug it out with Masada hitting him low and busting out more skewers. It’s time for a barbed wire door to be laid over some chairs but Colon fights back. Two low blows cut that off and it’s the Death Valley Driver off the platform through the door to give Masada the pin at 7:57.

Rating: D. This was your freak show match with the skewers and all that garbage to wrap up the night. Colon got beaten up pretty badly here and Masada continues to be some kind of a deathmatch legend. It was all about the blood and violence with a not exactly huge spot to wrap it up. At least it’s over though.

We actually roll credits to wrap things up.

Overall Rating: D-. I don’t think there’s any secret to the fact that this is not for me and I would not have gotten into this if I knew what it was beforehand. I’m not sure how you can call it a wrestling show when they don’t actually have a ring but I guess that’s the point of something like this. It has its audience and that’s all bad and worse, but egads this is hard to watch at times. The only good thing is that it was barely two hours when you favor out all of the delays. Just more violence and brawling throughout, albeit with a few talented people sprinkled throughout.

 

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Acid Cup 2021 Part 1: The Indy Sampler

Acid Cup 2021 Part 1
Date: April 8, 2021
Location: Cuban Club, Ybor City, Florida
Commentators: Kevin Gill, Various

This is another show from GCW’s the Collective and as you might have guessed, it is part of a tournament called the Acid Cup. While I’m not entirely sure, I would assume that it is held in honor of the late Trent Acid, which I’m sure will be confirmed during the show. Tournaments are about as easy of a concept as you can get in wrestling so hopefully this works out. Let’s get to it.

We’re outside today and it looks like this is in a parking lot for a unique visual. And yes, this is for Trent Acid.

First Round: Calvin Tankman vs. Colby Corino

Corino takes the much bigger Tankman down by the leg to start and works on a wristlock. A lot of bouncing gets Corino out of Tankman’s wristlock so Tankman chops him to little avail. Another one puts Corino down and he seems to be regretting the idea of sticking his chest out for Tankman. Back up and Corino hits an enziguri but his legs give out on an ill advised fireman’s carry attempt. Tankman pounds him down and chops away in the corner as this is staying rather slow to start.

Commentary tells a story about running into Corino in an airport in 2014 as Corino counters a powerbomb and hits a double stomp. A kick to the top of the head gets two on Tankman but he is right back with a clot and something like a Rock Bottom for two. Corino is back up with a spinning kick to the face and somehow manages a Samoan drop for an impressive visual. The middle rope 450 misses though and Tankman’s spinning backfist to the back of the head….only gets two. The Tankman Driver finishes Corino at 8:08.

Rating: C-. Tankman has been all over the weekend here and that is not a bad thing. He is a good sized guy who can do some impressively athletic things in the ring, which is always going to get some attention. Corino was doing what he could here but there is only so much that you can do when you are that small. To be fair though, that was a crazy impressive Samoan drop and I wouldn’t have believe Corino could pull it off.

We now pause for a cleaning of the ropes and a board sticking up in the ring. A bunch of people have to get in to stomp on the ring to try and fix things, complete with a camera shot of the people underneath the ring making repairs. To fill time, commentary makes up fake results of the Showcase of the Independents Family Reunion show. Now they have to lift up the mat and replace a board, which is even sadder given that there is not even a full front row around ringside. A quick Trent Acid discussion is cut off because everything is fine. This took about seven minutes so it could have been much worse.

First Round: Braden Lee vs. Laredo Kid

They start slowly until Kid flips out of an early wristlock. Lee takes him down with a headlock takeover and but Kid bounces back up and hits a running shoulder. Kid gets kicked out to the floor, followed by Lee hitting a heck of a gutbuster for two back inside. A springboard crossbody drops Lee though and it’s time to head outside, where Lee can’t hit a tornado DDT onto the concrete.

Instead, Lee takes it back inside for a good looking 450 for two. Kid is right back with a Michinoku Driver into back to back moonsaults for two of his own. Lee snaps off a running Spanish Fly but misses a shooting star, which would have missed by six feet anyway. Back up and Lee goes up top, only to get caught in….kind of a reverse super Spanish Fly, where Kid had him in a belly to back superplex then flipped backwards to land on Lee’s back as Lee landed on his face. That’s enough to finish Lee at 8:06.

Rating: C+. Total spot fest match here but Kid is someone who has been getting higher and higher profile matches as of late. It makes the tournament feel a little bit bigger because the star power helps it a lot. Pretty nice match here too, with Lee getting to showcase himself a bit before coming up short in the end.

First Round: Dragon Bane vs. KTB

I’m not sure who Bane is but he comes out to Clint Eastwood by the Gorillaz so he can’t be too bad. KTB takes him down with ease to starts so the smaller Dragon goes with a handspring moonsault. Granted KTB just stands there and watches him so it doesn’t mean much. Dragon’s hurricanrana is easily countered into a sitout powerbomb and a running shoulder in the corner gives KTB two.

KTB plants him again for two but Dragon slips out of a powerbomb and strikes away. This goes very badly for Dragon and his chops are rather pitiful looking. A spinning kick to the head and a handspring elbow work a bit better though and KTB is knocked to the floor. Dragon hits a double springboard spinning moonsault to drop KTB again as commentary tries to figure out what he just did.

Back in and they trade Spanish Flies to give KTB two (Commentary: “Isn’t adrenaline crazy?”) but Dragon is back with a poisonrana for a rather delayed two. They chop it out from their knees, with commentary explaining which part of the hand offers the most pain. They trade pump kicks but KTB is back with something like a Dominator into a knee to the face for two more. Back up and Bane suplexes him into the corner, setting up another poisonrana. A shooting star press finishes KTB at 8:15.

Rating: C. I wouldn’t have bet on that so it is rather nice to have a surprise like this. This was a bit of a styles clash as it felt like Dragon was trying to get in all of his spots instead of having more of a flowing match, but that is kind of understandable given how a show like this is supposed to go. Not too bad and the surprise ending helped a good bit.

In a nice gesture, Dragon high fives all of the fans, though to be fair it doesn’t exactly take that long.

First Round: Jordan Oliver vs. Edith Surreal

Surreal is the unmasked version of Still Life With Apricots And Pears (who you might not know). Oliver is wearing Trent Acid inspired pants and it’s a feeling out process to start with Oliver taking him down by the leg and cranking away. That’s reversed into a full nelson with Surreal using her legs to work on the neck, followed by a missile dropkick for two. Surreal starts in on the arm and shrugs off the threat of a Boston crab.

Instead, Surreal gets him down and cranks on the face and leg at the same time, followed by an exchange of rollups for two. A headscissors on the mat keeps Surreal down as commentary talks about how this isn’t the kind of match you would expect from these two. Back up and Surreal gets dropkicked out to the floor so Oliver posts her hard. They head back inside with Surreal taking him down by the leg and cranking on the ankle as the very slow pace continues.

Surreal gets creative with a Figure Four stump puller, but since that is kind of hard to maintain, it’s off to a seated abdominal stretch instead. That’s reversed into a leglock from Oliver, which is reversed into a cradle for two. Back up and Surreal grabs a bulldog for two and it’s time for more rollups for two each. Oliver grabs a Stunner and kicks her in the face (Acid signature) for the pin at 9:52.

Rating: C-. This was a rather slow paced match and it didn’t exactly work. It felt like they were just going from one move/sequence to another with nothing bridging them together, which made for a fairly weak match. Both of them are capable of more so this was fairly disappointing and the lack of drama (Oliver was wearing Acid’s PANTS) didn’t help it either. Not awful, but not much to see here.

Ten minute intermission.

First Round: JJ Garrett vs. Lee Moriarty

Garrett is a substitution for Treehouse Lee and looks like he doing a Scott Steiner cosplay. He is introduced as what sounds like Dot Steiner so I have my early 90s WCW eyes working. They go with the grappling to start with Garrett taking him down but Moriarty sits out and it’s already a standoff. Moriarty picks the ankle and cranks away, sending Garrett to the ropes in a hurry.

Back up and Moriarty sweeps the leg and kicks the arm, followed by a dropkick to send Garrett outside. Garrett comes back in with a bit of a slower pace but this time manages to whip Moriarty into the corner to take over. After a quick discussion of Scott Steiner on Saved By The Bell, Garrett grabs a belly to back suplex for two. Moriarty is back with a running enziguri in the corner and a jumping double stomp to the back of a seated Garrett’s head. And then Garrett starts vomiting and the referee stops it at 5:42.

Rating: C. I’ve seen a lot from Moriarty this weekend and he really does come off as one of the better stars out of the series of shows. He has the technical and in-ring abilities to make it work with just enough charisma to make him more interesting. Throw in the fact that he looks pretty young and already seems fairly polished and he could be on to something. Garrett was just there for a short burst and you are only going to be able to get so much out of him in so little time, though he was fine enough.

We now pause to clean the ring and get some ads, including from a man named Toy Vomit, which might not be the best timing.

First Round: Aramis vs. Arez

Arez appears to be part goat. They fight over a top wristlock to start as one of the commentators can barely be heard. Aramis takes him down and starts tying up the leg but Arez ties him into a ball and puts on kind of a reverse full nelson with the legs, because these guys know some crazy complicated holds. That’s reversed but Arez reverses the reversal into something like Paige’s Scorpion Crosslock.

With that broken up as well, it’s off to a pinfall reversal sequence and the rather rapid fire tumbling into some near falls. They’re still not don so more grappling gives them two each until it’s another standoff for a pretty well deserved standing ovation. A springboard armdrag puts Aramis down but he wristdrags Arez over without much trouble. An exchange of anklescissors sets up a pair of superkicks from Aramis to send Arez outside. One heck of a suicide dive rocks Arez as commentary LOVES the fact that Aramis led with his head instead of just shoving him.

Back in and Aramis kicks him in the face, setting up a running shoulder in the corner as commentary is very pleased with the international flare here. Aramis grabs the arm and climbs the ropes to jump into a victory roll, followed by a heck of a springboard hurricanrana. Rolling Chaos Theory out of the corner gives Aramis two and they’re both down for a needed breather.

They slug it out until Arez grabs the arm and spins over to the apron to tie it around the ropes. Then he does it again with another arm and pulls on it for one of the most unique spots I can remember seeing in a long time. They fight out to the floor with Arez throwing water on him and then drinking some of it himself. Back in and Aramis is sent to the apron where they trade more kicks to the head. Arez kicks him in the chest but hurts his own leg in the process to put them both down again.

We pause for the injury and the referee gives Arez a ten count to get up. Back up and they strike it out rather hard until a double kick to the head (Commentary: “That looked like a d*** game of Karate Fighters!”) puts them both down again. Aramis pumphandles him onto the shoulder for a Dominator into a knee to the face and a torture rack spun into a powerbomb (with a lot of spinning) gets two. Arez has had it with this and comes back with a bridging northern lights suplex for the pin at 13:36.

Rating: B. This is going to be one of those matches where your individual tastes are really going to vary. Yes, this match felt like the most telegraphed match I’ve seen in a very long time but it was a blast as they beat each other up with one spot after another. They weren’t going for realistic here and the flips and holds and counters were crazy fun. Just great luchaing here and if you’re in for a performance instead of trying to make it feel like a competition, have fun with this one.

Money is thrown in and the wrestlers and referee split it.

First Round: Cole Radrick vs. Tony Deppen

Hold on actually as Radrick says Deppen is stuck between Tampa and Orlando so the match isn’t happening. Therefore, let’s do that open challenge thing.

First Round: Cole Radrick vs. Jimmy Lloyd

Lloyd is a hardcore guy and I really hope that isn’t what we’re getting here. Actually hang on again.

First Round: Cole Radrick vs. Jimmy Lloyd vs. Ellis Taylor

It wouldn’t be an indy show without a three way. Radrick is sent outside to start and there’s a dropkick to do it again. A superkick drops Taylor though and Lloyd is left alone in the ring. Radrick comes back in for a clothesline to the back of Lloyd’s head and then heads outside for a Gory Bomb onto the steps. Lloyd throws Radrick into a bunch of chairs at ringside but gets dropped as well.

That leaves Radrick and Taylor to slap it out at ringside before all three head back inside to miss some strikes to the face. Radrick dropkicks both of them down at the same time and it’s some running clotheslines in the corner. An Air Raid Crash gets two on Taylor with commentary comparing it to how Hulk Hogan covered Iron Sheik. Taylor is back up with a poisonrana on Lloyd, followed by a kick to Radrick’s head. Radrick is fine enough to hit a springboard Stunner on Lloyd, followed by something like an abdominal stretch lifted into a powerbomb to finish Taylor at 5:48.

Rating: C. This could have been a lot worse as Lloyd didn’t get to do his nonsense. Radrick is a smaller guy and looked fairly impressive here while he had the chance. They didn’t have time to do much here but the show is running out of time and they have one match left, which is the kind of thing that is going to happen. What we got was fine enough but the time hurt things a lot.

First Round: Nate Webb vs. AJ Gray

Webb is wearing a mask honoring the injured B-Boy. Webb grabs a wristlock to start but gets reversed into a rather hard headlock. A running shoulder drops Webb and it’s time for a breather on the floor. Back in and we hit the headlock again, with Gray taking him down into a front facelock this time. Make that an armbar as we continue the barrage of first gear holds.

Webb gets back up and they talk trash, setting up the exchange of right hands to the face. Gray knocks him down again, with Webb being knocked to the floor this time. They chop it out again and Gray gets suplexed onto the concrete for a rather scary landing. Webb pelts a chair at him and then hits Gray in the back with it for a bonus. Gray gets in his own chair shot and then crushes Webb’s throat with it for a bonus (Commentary: “I don’t think these guys are friends anymore.”).

Some chairs are thrown in, with Gray setting them up and bridging a large door between them for a bonus. What looks like a superplex is broken up and Webb hits a middle rope double stomp to the back, because Gray is a little nuts. The door is moved into the corner and Webb spears Gray through it for the big crash. The running dropkick in the corner (another B-Boy tribute) gets two on Gray but he’s right back up with an enziguri to catch him on top. A top rope superplex plants Webb again for two and one heck of a clothesline gets the same. Emerald Flosion finishes Webb at 9:28.

Rating: C. Not too bad here again and I was rather relieved to see the chair and door stuff kept mostly to a minimum. Webb feels like someone who belongs more in a place like CZW but he was perfectly acceptable here in a mostly normal match so I’ll take being surprised. Gray is one of the more featured people over the course of the weekend and you can see the talent. I’m not sure if he is as good as he is hyped up to be, but he is perfectly acceptable with everything that he does, which is a lot more than you usually get on a show like this.

No brackets for the second round but you don’t really need them for something like this.

Overall Rating: C+. We’ll call this one a breath of air after some of the pretty bad stuff I’ve seen over the weekend. This had watchable to good action throughout and Arez vs. Aramis was a blast. Other than that, there is nothing worth going out of your way to see but if you want a nice sample platter of indy wrestling with no big messy scramble match or a bunch of hardcore/deathmatch nonsense, this is about as good as you are going to get from what I’ve seen over the weekend.

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Violence X Suffering: Lucid Dreams: The Stuff I Don’t Like

Violence X Suffering: Lucid Dreams
Date: April 9, 2021
Location: Cuban Club, Ybor City, Florida
Commentators: Various

We’re back with another midnight show from GCW’s the Collective and that could mean a lot of things. I don’t know anything about this promotion or anything about this show, so as usual I’m coming in blind. That is kind of the point of a show like this, but hopefully they aren’t on until almost 3am again. Let’s get to it.

So the show is delayed due to the prior event running long and did not start until 1am.

Opening sequence.

Nick Gage says this is Violence X Suffering motherf*****.

The ring announcer screams and swears a lot. Oh yeah this is going to be a really long night. This goes on for a good bit as he keeps wanting us to be louder.

Here’s Rich Swann, whose entrance takes a good while because he gets in a lot of dancing. Then a fan calls him a fake Kofi, earning him a “F*** THIS GUY” from Swann. Apparently Tony Deppen isn’t here tonight so Swann is substituting, meaning it’s open challenge time.

Rich Swann vs. KTB

The much larger KTB grabs a waistlock to start but Swann slips out, only to be taken to the mat in an Oklahoma roll. That makes Swann look up at KTB as commentary keeps making music reference. Swann is back up with a dropkick into a hurricanrana for two but KTB is back with a chop in the corner. A running shoulder into a falling headbutt to the ribs gets two on Swann.

Some strikes to the face have KTB rocked but Swann dives into a spinebuster for two. We hit the chinlock but Swann fights up and nails a quick dropkick. The middle rope 450 gets two on KTB but Swann has to pull himself up. KTB catches him off the top for two more so Swann busts out the Lethal Injection for two. The frog splash gets the same so KTB gets up and drops him again, setting up a Lionsault for two of his own. Swann has had it with this and enziguris him down, setting up the middle rope Phoenix splash for the pin at 11:30.

Rating: C+. This was about as they could have done under the circumstances. It wouldn’t surprise me if the promotion found out that Deppen couldn’t be there and they just found whomever they could to fill in. Swann is a talented enough name with enough star power to make something like this work so they did everything they could and the match wound up working.

Respect is shown post match and we pause to sanitize the ropes.

Someone named Masa Slamavich is at ringside and doesn’t seem to be on the schedule.

AJ Gray vs. Daniel Garcia

Pure Rules, meaning three rope breaks, only one closed fist to the face and a much more technical focus. Both of them have seconds as well. They go with the grappling to start with the bigger Gray taking him down without much trouble. Back up and Gray’s shoulder doesn’t do much good so Garcia takes him down into a leglock. Gray reverses that into some kind of a weird Figure Four variation to put Garcia in trouble.

Garcia uses a rope break so Gray is right back with a very big backsplash to crush him again. They get up again and Garcia goes for the leg again, meaning Gray needs his own rope this time around. Garcia slaps on a front facelock and switches into a bodyscissors, meaning Gray needs another rope break. The chinlock goes on but Gray isn’t having this and powers up for a heck of a Death Valley Driver to drop Garcia.

A pair of powerbombs plants Garcia twice in a row but somehow he is back up with a Shining Wizard. Garcia grabs a Crossface and Gray’s escape means he is out of rope breaks. Back up and Gray smashes him with a lariat so Robert Martyr, Garcia’s second, puts Garcia’s hand on the rope. With that broken up, Gray grabs an STF and Garcia is in trouble. Martyr gets creative by pulling the rope back so it smacks Gray in the face (not a DQ because reasons) to stun him fairly well. The Sharpshooter, with Garcia leaning all the way back and pulling on the leg, makes Gray tap at 13:09.

Rating: C. This was a much more technical match and it was only so interesting in the first place. I’ve seen a few Garcia matches this weekend and they aren’t the most thrilling things. He is rather skilled with the technical stuff but he isn’t exactly interesting. It’s another case of someone just kind of being there and that doesn’t keep much attention. Gray is a hard hitter who can grapple and has some good charisma, which is a nice combination.

Post match Garcia doesn’t let go so Gray’s second comes in, earning a Sharpshooter of his own as Garcia isn’t seeming that nice. Martyr yells at Garcia, earning himself a piledriver and a Sharpshooter of his own. Masa Slamavich comes in and tells Garcia to hit her so Garcia tries, only to have to bail from a quick piledriver attempt.

KC Navarro/Marcus Mathers/Andy Brown/Ninja Mack/MV Young vs. TJ Crawford/Gabriel Sky/Ken Broadway/Myron Reed/Dante Leon

Elimination rules. It’s a big brawl to start with Ninja Mack hitting a big corkscrew dive off the top and back to back big flip dives off the middle/top ropes. Leon is back up with a reverse Spanish Fly off the middle rope to plant Mack. Sky and Navarro fight off to the side as no one is in the ring. They start throwing stuff at each other and you can barely see what is going on. Sky climbs onto a wall and flip dives onto everyone.

People keep walking around in the dark and hey we bother going back to the ring where Young powerbombs Sky into a half crab. That’s broken up and Sky hits a running knee to the side of the head. Young spears him out of the air for two as you can hear a fan explaining who the wrestlers are. Sky hits a top rope double stomp to get rid of Young at 7:47. Brown comes in and gets caught with an enziguri but someone crotches Sky on top. An AA into a Backstabber gets rid of Sky at 8:52.

A package piledriver gets rid of Leon at 9:45 so here’s Broadway to strike away at Brown. Broadway muscles him up with a German suplex and a bridging German suplex finishes Brown at 10:39. Navarro comes in and small packages Broadway for the pin at 11:04. Crawford grabs a sitout powerbomb on Navarro and a distraction sets up a brainbuster to pin Navarro at 12:34.

Mathers and Mack come in to kick away at Crawford with Mathers being sent outside in a hurry. Crawford hits a running kick in the corner and backdrops Mack out to the floor. Back in and Mack kicks him in the head but the middle rope Phoenix splash hits raised knees to give Crawford the pin at 15:23. I believe we’re down to Mathers vs. Crawford/Reed so Crawford hits a double underhook faceplant (think a double underhook Dominator) to drop Matters.

They fight to the apron with Mathers hitting a piledriver and Crawford is right back up in about ten seconds. Mathers gives him a low superkick and a flip DDT gets rid of Crawford at 18:40 and we’re down to Mathers vs. Reed. They slug it out and Mathers hits another flip DDT for two. Reed is sent outside but catches a dive and hits his hanging F5 off the apron onto the concrete. Back in and an Air Raid Crash finishes Mathers at 20:59.

Rating: D. The action was fine but commentary was perhaps the worst that I have ever heard. It wasn’t even commentary as much as one guy (the second was fine) did nothing but shout over and over again, probably screaming EAT THAT about 30 times, including after every single big move. This already isn’t my style of wrestling and then everything else about it is driving me crazy. They had a 20+ minute spot fest with the first ten minutes being spent walking around in darkness. The match itself was acceptable but my goodness commentary was a nightmare.

Brian Cage vs. Chris Dickinson

Well the star power just went up. Dickinson looks like he can barely walk due to some kind of a leg injury but he slugs away anyway. Cage is right back with a powerbomb and Dickinson is in trouble early. We go intelligent with the Indian Deathlock to stay on the leg but Dickinson crawls to the floor.

Cage follows him outside and hammers away as he is getting to pick his spots here. Dickinson is busted open and commentary starts making fun of his mom’s accent. Back in and Cage works on the leg again but Dickinson fights up and strikes away. A belly to back suplex sends Cage flying and they fight outside again with Dickinson hitting him in the ribs with a door. Back in and Dickinson manages a missile dropkick into a nip up but Cage is right back with a sitout powerbomb.

Dickinson knocks him down again and hits a running kick to the chest, followed by a delayed vertical suplex for two. Cage is right back with a shot to the knee though and the Figure Four goes on. That’s turned over so Cage blasts him with a clothesline, only to get caught in a dragon screw legwhip. Dickinson grabs his own Figure Four but Cage powers out of that as well. Cage runs him over and grabs another Figure Four for the tap at 14:42.

Rating: C. Who would have bet on some psychology in something like this? Granted when you have Dickinson barely able to walk to start it isn’t that hard to figure out, but this wasn’t what I would have expected. Nice stuff here, though it went longer than it needed to, especially given the injury and this time of night.

2 Cold Scorpio vs. Eli Everfly

This is Lucha Rules meaning….well I guess we’ll find out. Scorpio laughs at the smaller Everfly and dances a bit at the bell. Everfly is driven into the corner but comes out with a wristlock, which sends Everfly down without much effort. The armbar has Everfly in more trouble but he’s back up with a chop and a very springboardy headscissors.

Scorpio isn’t having this and hits a quick wheelbarrow German suplex to send him flying. A big clothesline drops Everfly again but he gets up top. That doesn’t work for Scorpio, as his fall away slam sends Everfly sailing. The half crab goes on but Everfly eventually slips out as commentary continues its worship of Scorpio, now trying to get him on Wrestlemania. Back up and a wheelbarrow Stunner gets two on Scorpio and Everfly kicks him to the floor.

One heck of a top rope moonsault takes Scorpio down again, even if Everfly’s legs hit him in the head. Back in and Everfly hits a top rope cutter for two more and they’re both down again. A running clothesline drops Scorpio again and a sunset flip is good for the same. Scorpio hits something like a Pele into the Tumbleweed for the pin at 11:54.

Rating: C+. The ending was a bit flat but they did a nice job of telling the story of Scorpio not taking him seriously enough and almost getting caught. Everfly can do all of the flips and you are only going to be able to get so far at that size. The story and action were good though and I can always go for some more of Scorpio.

Jordan Oliver vs. Jimmy Lloyd

This is billed as Ace vs. Ace. Oliver slaps him in the face to start and they get into the brawl. Lloyd gets driven into the corner for the chops and a running spinwheel kick makes it worse. Another shot sends Oliver outside but his suicide dive is cut off by a chair to the head. That puts Lloyd down and egads there is a lot of broken glass under there. Egads that’s from Spring Break that I’m watching later isn’t it? Back in and Oliver hits him with some chair shots to the head for two but Lloyd, now bleeding, gets in a few shots of his own.

Oliver sends him face first into a chair in the corner as commentary goes onto a rant about how worthless referees are. The turnbuckle pad comes off but Oliver is sent into it instead, drawing more blood. Lloyd sends him into a chair but Oliver is back with a series of strikes to put both of them down. Commentary can’t remember Oliver’s name, even as they knock each other down again. Oliver hits a German suplex but Lloyd is back with a pumphandle driver for two as one person tries the THIS IS AWESOME chant.

It’s time to bring in a third chair so Oliver uses the distraction to grab a German suplex for two more. A clothesline gives Oliver another near fall and it’s time to adjust the chairs. They get on the chairs until Lloyd piledrives him through the chairs for two. Well of course that’s only two. Oliver is back with a double underhook piledriver for a near fall of his own. With nothing else working, Oliver goes up for his super cutter but Lloyd hits him low for the pin at 14:44.

Rating: D+. This was another one those matches where they do a spot, then sit around, then do a spot, then set up some kind of a weapon spot, then do a spot, then we finally get to the point. Throw in the commentary being able to do very little that swear a lot and say EAT THAT and it was quite the long sit. Oliver is getting better in the ring in MLW, but Lloyd felt like one of those not so great hardcore guys and that made for a messy match.

They brawl to the back.

JTG vs. Dr. Cube

No DQ. Cube is a guy with a cube for a head from Kaiju Big Battel. JTG dives onto Cube and his people to start, with Cube losing his cube (as in the box around his head) early on. A powerslam gives JTG two with one of Cube’s lackeys making the save. Cube slaps away and whips JTG into the corner, where the turnbuckle pad falls off. JTG gets sent outside so the goons can stomp on him so he powerbombs one onto the rest of them.

Back in and Cube hits a top rope knee to the back of the head for two and commentary keeps swearing about how bad the referees are. Cube’s goons come in again and set up a bunch of tables and doors, with a double chokeslam putting JTG through one such door. One of the goons hits a twisting shooting star to give Cube two. Now the goons bring in the light tubes to break over JTG’s back and he is cut BADLY. My eyes jumped up at how much blood was on his back but he comes back to clean house.

A double light tube shot to the back hits Cube but it’s time for the goons to come back in and beat JTG down again. Cube grabs the mic and gets in a shouting match with commentary…..and it’s freaking Big Cass coming in for the save. Cass cleans house and leaves JTG with Cube, who pours out thumbtacks. JTG hits him low and powerbombs him into the tacks, followed by a second for a bonus. A running Razor’s Edge into a powerbomb (close enough) finishes Cube at 14:04.

Rating: F. Nope. As amazing as JTG’s transformation is, this is every stupid hardcore trope that gives indy wrestling a bad reputation (whether it is deserved or not). Throw in the same EAT THAT commentary guy and the other one who wouldn’t shut up about how much he hated everything and this was about as irritating as it could have been. Just get on with the show already, and stop with the horrible commentary, please.

And now, a Lio Rush music video. Or at least part of one.

Low Ki vs. Lio Rush

I’m not big on either of them, but at least we should be in for a heck of an upgrade after the previous match. Feeling out process to start but the pace picks up in a hurry with Rush doing his running dodges. A kick to the face puts Rush on the floor and he needs a breather. Back in and a test of strength goes to Ki, who kicks him into the corner and hammers away. Ki suplexes him down for two but Rush fights back up as commentary says this is the White Ranger (Rush) vs. a bus boy (not Rush).

Rush’s comeback is cut off and Ki grabs a chinlock to keep him down. Back up and Rush slides into the corner to counter a whip as commentary (apparently Joey Janela of all people) starts singing. A handspring elbow drops Ki and a hurricanrana gives Rush two. Rush loses his shirt and a Falcon Arrow gets two on Ki as Janela talks about liking veal.

They go up top with Rush snapping off a super hurricanrana but Ki rolls through into a double stomp. Commentary talks about eggplant as Rush fights out of the Ki Crusher. Rush hits a hard DDT for two but misses Rush Hour. Ki gets up top for the double stomp and the pin at 10:09.

Rating: C. Yeah this was fine. It was late and they were rushing around, but it’s not like it mattered at this point. Granted when commentary is ignoring the match to talk about anything else that comes to mind, there isn’t much that the wrestlers can do no matter what. Completely acceptable wrestling and that’s all it needed to be to be an upgrade.

Overall Rating: D+. There were good parts to this, but the bad outweigh the good so badly that it completely ruins anything positive that could come out of the show. Ignoring the extreme/hardcore nonsense and commentary completely ruining more than one match, it just wasn’t that good in several parts. You really can tell the difference in the talent levels though, as the bigger name wrestlers were on a different planet in almost every possible way. There are worse shows, but the bad stuff is some of the stuff I can’t stand the most on this kind of show.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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