Smackdown – April 15, 2022: Back Next Week?

Smackdown
Date: April 15, 2022
Location: DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Michael Cole

We’re back to the blue guys and now the build seems to be on for Wrestlemania Backlash. Last week saw Shinsuke Nakamura come after Roman Reigns to suggest that he is the next challenger while Charlotte vs. Ronda Rousey in an I Quit match is officially set. Hopefully we get some built towards those matches this week so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Roman Reigns sending the Usos after the Raw Tag Team Titles, setting up a pair of matches on Raw.

Here are Raw Tag Team Champions Rated RKBro for a chat. We get a lot of posing before Riddle talks about how stoked he is to be back on Smackdown, especially with his best friend Randy. After going on about Worcester being the name for Worcestershire sauce, but it’s named after the one in England, not this one. He learned that off of a Snapple lid, but Orton cuts him off to get serious. Orton wants the Usos out here right now so here they are for the showdown.

The Usos go on a rant about how this is their place and they’re ready for RKBro because they’re twin brothers who are ready to face anyone. Orton says he loves the family but the two of them are a******. Orton says the Big Dog left the b****** off the leash and “frick that” (his words). We hear about Orton’s career in a more fired up way than usual and the challenge is accepted. The Usos go to leave but come back in to pull Riddle off the ropes for a cheap shot, which Cole calls a hit and run.

Sasha Banks/Naomi talk trash to Rhea Ripley/Liv Morgan about Naomi vs. Ripley tonight.

RKBro asks Adam Pearce about the Tag Team Title match but they can only get Riddle vs. Jey tonight, because THAT’S ALL THEY DO FOR TAG TEAM FEUDS.

Naomi vs. Rhea Ripley

Sasha Banks and Liv Morgan are here too because we can’t just have the freaking Tag Team Title match already and have to do a bunch of singles matches first. Ripley powers her into the corner to start and then runs Naomi down with a shoulder for a bonus. A knee sends Ripley to the apron and a big boot knocks her down. Naomi follows her out but gets blasted with a clothesline as we take a break.

Back with Naomi fighting up and hitting an ax kick, followed by a bulldog into the corner. A high crossbody gives Naomi two and she faceplants Rhea for two more. Naomi grabs a full nelson of all things but gets powered into a northern lights suplex. The missile dropkick sends Naomi flying for two but she’s back with a Bubba Bomb (that explains the full nelson) into a cradle for two of her own. Ripley isn’t having that though and grabs the Riptide for the pin at 8:44. Banks looking stunned that a monster like Ripley won a match is kind of funny.

Rating: C+. It’s always nice to see Ripley getting a win like this, even if it keeps Naomi looking as middle of the road as possible. That is about all she does most of the time and the Women’s Tag Team Titles isn’t exactly some huge upgrade for her. Odds are the titles are retained on Raw though, allowing us to have Ripley and Morgan split after….a whole six weeks or so as a team?

The Usos don’t answer any questions and head into Roman Reigns’ locker room.

We look back at Happy Corbin turning on Madcap Moss.

Corbin doesn’t like Moss being called his former associate because Moss was more of a hanger on or a gopher. He blames Moss for losing his undefeated streak and now the loss of dead weight is increasing his happiness levels. Just wait until Moss becomes the laughingstock of Smackdown.

Drew Gulak, auditioning to become part of the broadcast team, asks Moss about what Corbin says. Moss says Corbin bought him his suspenders and taught him how to tell his jokes. That’s why the jokes were bad, because having an audience of bald men with a bad sense of humor will kill anyone. He isn’t worried about facing Humberto either and tells them where the Kiss Cam can go. McAfee explains the joke in case the visual didn’t explain it.

Madcap Moss vs. Humberto

Humberto knocks him into the corner so Angel can get in a cheap shot, allowing Humberto to mock the kissing deal. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Moss fights up and hits an elbow to the face. Moss pulls him out of the air for a fall away slam but the running shoulder in the corner hits Angel. Humberto takes one of his own and the Punch Line finishes for Moss at 2:28. Smart to give him a pretty decisive win, but a grudge match against Corbin isn’t exactly enthralling stuff.

Angel yells at Humberto for losing to a joke.

Charlotte comes in to see Adam Pearce but Drew Gulak interrupts to ask about how he did. Charlotte says Gulak can interview her in the middle of the ring and don’t be nervous.

Usos vs. RKBro is set for Wrestlemania Backlash.

Drew Gulak is in the ring to interview Charlotte. Gulak asks if she is ready for a hard hitting interview but is told to just hold the mic. Charlotte talks about how she turned down the I Quit match with Ronda Rousey because she wanted to keep Rousey safe. Gulak mentions that Charlotte tapped at Wrestlemania but Charlotte INSISTS that she was fixing her bra. That’s not good enough for Gulak, who thinks that had the referee been in place, Rousey would be champion.

Charlotte thinks that is out of line and asks if Drew stopped wrestling so he could hold a microphone and ask stupid questions. She thinks everyone here has quit something, but that is nothing she would ever do. Charlotte tells Gulak to get out of her ring but attacks him before he can. The Figure Eight makes Gulak tap (McAfee: “Charlotte Flair even taps out interviewers!”) and shout that he quits until referees break it up.

We recap Sami Zayn running from Drew McIntyre last week.

Ludwig Kaiser narrates a video about the awesomeness of Gunther.

Drew McIntyre vs. Sami Zayn

Sami says he’s going to prove himself here and then runs to the floor to start. McIntyre follows him out and hits Sami in the face (after avoiding punching McAfee by mistake) before taking him back inside. The Glasgow Kiss looks to set up the Claymore but Zayn runs again, this time taking the countout at 2:29.

Drew isn’t happy post match.

Ricochet is ready to defend his Intercontinental Title.

Sami Zayn runs into Adam Pearce, who makes Sami vs. McIntyre III in a lumberjack match next week.

Intercontinental Title: Ricochet vs. Jinder Mahal

Ricochet is defending and Shanky is here with Mahal. They start fast with Mahal pulling Ricochet away from the ropes for a crash to the mat. Ricochet fights back up and counters the Khallas into a rollup for two. The Recoil sets up the 630 but Shanky pulls Mahal to the floor. That’s fine with Ricochet who dives onto both of them for the big crash. Back in and the shooting star press retains the title at 2:59. Not quite a squash, but Ricochet needed any kind of a win to get him back on track after the Los Lotharios stuff.

Sheamus isn’t happy with Butch losing last week but the solution is that Butch needs to channel his aggression. They try to convince him that New Day is the enemy…but Butch slips away, because he’s treated like a child for whatever reason.

Post break, Butch, Sheamus and Ridge Holland attack New Day, making me wonder why they bothered with the “lost” deal for all of four minutes.

It’s time for part two of the Lacey Evans story. She talks about how her father caught up with her and her mother and had all kinds of anger and mental health issues. He would yell a lot and throw a bunch of things until he was eventually on the run from an assault charge. That helped her learn how to fight from a young age and she knows how to be at rock bottom. No one can phase her because she has been through worse. This continues to be a good bit too serious for a wrestling angle.

Natalya and Shayna Baszler don’t like Lacey Evans treating them like this because Lacey doesn’t respect legends. Lacey is trying to take over the locker room but here is Raquel Rodriguez to say how happy she is to meet Natalya.

Jimmy Uso vs. Riddle

Jey Uso and Randy Orton are here too. An early RKO attempt is blocked and Riddle gets sent hard into the corner. The early chinlock goes on but Riddle fights up and they go to the floor. A superkick rocks Riddle again and we take a break. Back with Riddle firing off a kick and a knee to stagger Jimmy. The Bro To Sleep into a German suplex gets two but Jimmy is back with a pop up Samoan drop. Randy and Jey get into it on the floor to distract Riddle, allowing Jimmy to kick him down. The Superfly Splash misses though and a pop up RKO finishes Jimmy at 9:02.

Rating: C+. Here we have another example of a pretty good match that meant absolutely nothing. Odds are we get every combination of these four until we get to the pay per view and while the big match will be good, it is going to have been so watered down by all of these singles matches that it will lose a bunch of impact. I would love to see WWE change up their formula a bit, but that just isn’t going to happen.

Overall Rating: D+. This was as ho hum of a regular Smackdown as I can remember in a long time. The wrestling was adequate enough but it felt like a night where they just said “oh throw whatever out there”. Mahal gets a title shot, two tag matches are built up with singles matches, Sheamus N Pals vs. New Day continues, Charlotte beats up an interviewer and a Madcap Moss feature match. No Reigns, no Rousey, no Nakamura after the end of last week’s show. It felt like they took a week off here (and they may have due to the holiday), but you can’t get a pre-taped promo in from someone that matters?

Results
Rhea Ripley b. Naomi – Riptide
Madcap Moss b. Humberto – Punch Line
Drew McIntyre b. Sami Zayn via countout
Ricochet b. Jinder Mahal – Shooting star press
Riddle b. Jimmy Uso – RKO

 

 

 

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Smackdown – April 1, 2022: And That’s Why I Wasn’t There

Smackdown
Date: April 1, 2022
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania and that could mean a few things. On one hand, it means we could be in for the last big push before the biggest show of the year, which means an exciting night. On the other hand, it could be WWE putting in as little effort as possible as they have more important things on their minds. Knowing WWE, I’ll go with the latter almost every time. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Commentary welcomes us to the show and gives us a video package on Andre the Giant to hype up his namesake battle royal.

Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Tommaso Ciampa, Cedric Alexander, Ivar, Erik, Madcap Moss, Drew Gulak, Shelton Benjamin, Mansoor, Shanky, Jinder Mahal, R-Truth, Akira Tozawa, Reggie, Apollo Crews, Commander Azeez, T-Bar, Damian Priest, Dolph Ziggler, Robert Roode, Finn Balor

This field is lame even by this match’s standards. Only Ziggler, Roode and Balor get entrances. It’s a brawl to start with Tozawa being eliminated, followed by Reggie, who makes the dumb choice of flipping around on the apron. There goes R-Truth, followed by Mahal, the latter of whom goes out at the hands of the Vikings. Benjamin knees T-Bar out and it’s time to start brawling near the ropes. Moss knocks Gulak out as I continue not remembering that Gulak works here.

Cue Happy Corbin to praise Moss but almost low bridges him out by mistake when Balor reverses a whip into the ropes. Ciampa sends Moss to the floor but this time Corbin makes the save. Corbin leaves so it’s time to settle down again. Crews knocks out Alexander and Azeez gets rid of Benjamin. Mansoor’s slingshot neckbreaker is blocked and Ciampa knees him out. The Vikings eliminate Crews but get tossed by Shanky and Azeez, leaving them with the giant showdown.

They fight near the ropes and both get tossed out, leaving us with Priest, Balor, Roode, Moss, Ciampa and Ziggler. Balor and Priest remember that they had a feud for a bit and slug it out until Balor tosses him out. Roode puts Ciampa on the apron and Ziggler hits the superkick for the elimination to get us down to four. That leaves Balor to clean house but he can’t get rid of Roode. Ziggler goes to help Roode but Moss tosses Ziggler and Roode. Balor charges at Moss and gets sent out to give Moss the win at 7:11.

Rating: C-. This was every lame battle royal you’ve seen and that is what the Andre battle royal seems to be. It’s everyone without stuff going on at Wrestlemania being added in to a match on TV, which doesn’t make it feel special. Instead, this feels like a match that WWE has to do and picks a random person to win. Moss is part of a bad angle with Corbin vs. Drew McIntyre, but it isn’t like the match has any history or importance for the most part.

Post match Moss celebrates his win but asks what you should call a battle royal with the smartest Texans. A CATTLE royal!

Intercontinental Title: Ricochet vs. Humberto vs. Angel

Ricochet is defending because this is what the title has become these days. Angel and Humberto share an entrance and their chyron says Los Lotharios, which is a bit of a weird way to set up a triple threat. Ricochet gets knocked into the corner to start, with Angel biting his finger. The obvious double teaming begins and Ricochet gets caught with a running knee to the face. Ricochet fights up and manages a double hurricanrana, because that’s something people can do. Angel catches him on top with a super armdrag though and we take a break.

Back with Ricochet having to fight off the numbers game again, which allows the double teaming to take him down. Humberto nails a spinwheel kick for two, which doesn’t sit well with Angel. The Wing Clipper is loaded up but Humberto rolls Angel up for another near fall as greed enters the equation.

Ricochet uses the distraction to crossbody them down, setting up a rolling dropkick to Angel. The standing shooting star press gets two on Humberto with Angel making the save. Humberto gets backdropped to the floor and an enziguri drops Angel. Ricochet drops Humberto onto Angel, setting up the 630. That’s not enough so Ricochet goes straight to Humberto with the Recoil for the pin to retain at 11:15.

Rating: C+. The action was ok, but the fact that it was a relief to see Ricochet beat a tag team to retain the Intercontinental Title tells you everything you need to know. Ricochet at least comes off as a winner to save the slightest bit of face, but he needs a lot more to make up some of the last few weeks. Now he can move on to a singles challenger, but him sitting on the sidelines might be best for both himself and the title at the moment, as WWE doesn’t seem to know any better.

Long video on Kevin Owens vs. Steve Austin. Owens wanted a way to Wrestlemania so he challenged Austin to come on the KO Show. One day Owens remembered that he hated Texas and started insulting it so he wants the embodiment of Texas to show up. Austin responded from what looked to be some road out in the wilderness, which sends us into the Austin highlight reel set to Bawitaba by Kid Rock because 90s.

Naomi/Sasha Banks vs. Queen Zelina/Carmella

Non-title with Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley and Natalya/Shayna Baszler at ringside. Carmella kicks Banks to the floor to start, allowing her to get in some dancing. Zelina hits some running knees in the corner and Carmella is back in for a chinlock. That’s broken up and Banks gets in a shot to the face, allowing her to get over to Naomi for the tag. With Carmella dispatched, a Vader Bomb hits Zelina and Naomi adds the split legged moonsault for the pin at 3:26.

Rating: C-. This was about as filler of a match as you can get as they were thrown out there to set up a match that isn’t going to have much interest no matter what they do. The Women’s Tag Team Titles continue to be absolutely nothing and I can’t even get annoyed at the champs losing two days before their Wrestlemania title defense. Nothing match with nothing teams getting ready for a nothing match. Why is this a surprise these days?

Ronda Rousey was training earlier today (appeared to be with Shayna Baszler) and insisted that she was controlling her anger. She’ll be seeing her baby before the show, where she’ll rip off Charlotte’s arm.

Video on Charlotte vs. Ronda Rousey, looking at their respective in-ring/cage careers. Both dominated their sports and now it is a clash of the two titans, which would have been a bit better had they not already had a Wrestlemania match. It is also presented as a battle of holds, with the armbar/ankle lock vs. the Figure Eight. In other words, this sounds better in theory than it has been in reality.

Here is Charlotte for a chat. She praises the video and says it was more dramatic than Coda. She is going to destroy Rousey and, after mocking the WHAT chants by suggesting they are saying WOO, Charlotte declares herself cool. Every woman wants to be like her and every man just wants her. Having people want her autograph and pictures is cool, just like leaving Wrestlemania as the Smackdown Women’s Champion.

Video on Roman reigns vs. Brock Lesnar. I believe they’re fighting soon or something.

Rick Boogs plays Shinsuke Nakamura to the ring so Pat McAfee gets on the announcers’ table….but Austin Theory trips him up. McAfee gives chase to the back, where Theory runs into Vince McMahon’s office. That slows McAfee down but he kicks the door open, with Vince coming out and threatening to fire him. McAfee seems worried and goes back to commentary.

Rick Boogs vs. Jimmy Uso

Shinsuke Nakamura and Jey Uso are here too and McAfee is back on commentary. Boogs curls Uso to start before throwing him down. Jimmy is right back up with a whip to send Boogs into the post to cut him down but Boogs manages to gorilla press Jimmy….from his knees. Boogs stands up and drops him into a fall away slam, because that’s something a person can do. Cue Theory to grab a cup of ice from a fan and throw it at McAfee, who manages to keep his cool. Cue Finn Balor to go after Theory so all six get in the ring for the double DQ at 3:08.

Rating: D+. That gorilla press alone was worth seeing but that’s all they had in such a short match. Normally I would have an issue with WWE doing so many things in one match, but this is a bit of a weird situation. Balor vs. Theory is a feud that has been going on in recent weeks, though Balor isn’t even on Wrestlemania. I’m not sure why they are building feuds for beyond Wrestlemania, but we seem to be ready for a six man tag here to keep it going even further.

Usos/Austin Theory vs. Finn Balor/Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs

Joined in progress with Nakamura getting two on Jey. The running knee to the ribs in the corner gets one but a quick shot allows Jey to get over to Theory. Nakamura knees Theory in the ribs as McAfee is VERY pleased with the fans not liking Theory. Boogs comes in and grabs the rotating back and forth gutwrench suplex for two.

It’s off to Balor, who gets sent outside for a cheap shot from Jey to put him down. The villains glare down at McAfee and we take a break. Back with Jimmy missing a splash in the corner but Jey knocks Boogs off the apron to cut off a tag attempt. Balor hits the basement dropkick to rock Jimmy though and it’s a double diving tag to Nakamura and Theory. Nakamura gets to clean house, including a kick to Theory’s head and the sliding German suplex.

Everything breaks down and Boogs is sent hard into the steps. Balor comes in to clothesline Theory to the floor, setting up the big running flip dive. The Sling Blade connects back inside and it’s the shotgun dropkick to knock him down again. A distraction lets Theory break up the Coup de Grace though and the ATL finishes Balor at 11:29.

Rating: C. I knew this was coming and I still cringed at the pinfall. For the life of me I don’t get why WWE feels the need to do this, but if Theory isn’t US Champion by the end of the next pay per view (at the VERY latest), this is another entry on the long list of stupid things WWE has done. The US Champion shouldn’t be losing most of the time, but this is what, three or so falls he has taken to set up a match he isn’t even in? It’s another case of WWE feeling like they are trying to make things worse for someone they seem interested in pushing. Only WWE, thank goodness.

Post match McAfee gets on the apron to stare Theory down but he manages to keep his composure.

Here are Happy Corbin and Madcap Moss for Happy Talk, complete with a table to hold Angela the sword. Moss brags about winning the Andre the Giant battle royal earlier, but Corbin says he was supposed to do that. Corbin is euphoric and thinks that could be his new name. We look at how he got the sword and Corbin brags about everything he has done at Wrestlemania over the years.

The sword is more of an insurance policy and he could decapitate someone with the thing. How depressing is it to name the sword after McIntyre’s dead mother? Corbin: “What does Drew McIntyre’s sword and his mother have in common? He lost them both.” Cue McIntyre, who knocks Moss out with one shot on the way to the ring. McIntyre grabs a chair and throws it at Corbin’s head (that was smart), causing the sword to fall down. The set is cleared out and McIntyre cuts the table in half.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Back in the ring, McIntyre stable the mat a few times to make fire and pyro go off to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Oh they didn’t care. It was clear that this was designed to be a way to have a show before Wrestlemania and nothing more. None of the matches were good and a lot of this was about hyping things up. This has been the case for a pretty long time now and that reputation is why I was at other shows on Friday night and the only part I saw that night was at a restaurant between other events. It wasn’t that the show was bad, but rather that it was unimportant and WWE didn’t care. That’s as bad of a feeling that you can have and it was on in full display this week.

Results
Madcap Moss won the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal last eliminating Finn Balor
Ricochet b. Angel and Humberto – Recoil to Humberto
Naomi/Sasha Banks b. Carmella/Queen Zelina – Split legged moonsault to Zelina
Rick Boogs vs. Jimmy Uso went to a double DQ when Jey Uso and Shinsuke Nakamura interfered
Austin Theory/Usos b. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs/Finn Balor – ATL to Balor

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Smackdown – March 25, 2022: As Frustrated As I Have Been In A Long Time

Smackdown
Date: March 25, 2022
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We’re eight days away from Wrestlemania and believe it or not, the preview for the show has a picture of Roman Reigns/Brock Lesnar/Paul Heyman, because that is the only thing on this show that matters. It would be nice for the new Intercontinental Champion to get a Wrestlemania match set up, but I wouldn’t bet on it anytime soon. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Brock Lesnar’s path of rage last week, including the fork lift attack on the Bloodline’s SUV.

Opening sequence.

Brock Lesnar is outside of Reigns’ dressing room and says that he has paid some fines and bought some vehicles, including a blood red SUV for Reigns himself. Now upper management has told him to not have any contact with Reigns, so he’ll be sitting in Reigns’ locker room and wait for a good provoking. Lesnar goes into the empty room, likes what he has found (“Not as good as mine but not bad”) and puts his feet on the table, breaking it in the process. As Lesnar tends to do.

Jimmy Uso vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Jey Uso and Rick Boogs are here too, with Boogs throwing Jey at Jimmy to send us to a break before the bell. The battle over wrist control doesn’t last long so Nakamura gives us a COME ON before taking Jimmy down. Good Vibrations makes it worse for Jimmy and he heads outside for a breather.

Back in and Jimmy gets two off a belly to back suplex, setting up the chinlock. Nakamura fights up but gets sent to the apron and then out to the floor. Jimmy’s suicide dive is cut off by a kick to the head though and we take a break. Back with Nakamura knocking Jimmy down again but Jey jumps Boogs before Kinshasa can launch. The distraction lets Jimmy hit a superkick for two so Jey goes after the guitar. That distraction lets Nakamura hit a spinning kick to the head, setting up Kinshasa for the pin at 8:36.

Rating: C-. It’s not a good sign when you need to go double interference and the fact that it’s a singles match to set up a tag match at the pay per view. This is one of WWE’s most overdone tropes and I’m not sure why it is supposed to be impressive. Nakamura is a former multiple time singles champion and a former Royal Rumble winner. Jimmy Uso is a career tag guy with pretty much no notable singles wins. Why is this an accomplishment for Nakamura?

Raw Rebound, focusing on Kevin Owens as Steve Austin.

Brock Lesnar is eating Roman Reigns’ grapes and breaking his bottle of champagne.

Shad Gaspard is receiving the Warrior Award at the Hall of Fame.

Drew McIntyre could take out Happy Corbin tonight but he’d rather do it on the biggest stage of them all.

Video on Happy Corbin’s fall and rise back up to the top of the world. Then he joined up with Madcap Moss and took out Drew McIntyre, leading to their Wrestlemania match.

Kofi Kingston vs. Ridge Holland

Hold on though, as Kofi has a surprise: Holland is facing the returning Xavier Woods! The fact that Woods was introduced as accompanying Kofi to the ring might take away some of the surprise.

King Woods vs. Ridge Holland

Sheamus and Butch are here too. Holland throws him around to start and gets small packaged for the pin at 46 seconds. Ok then.

Paul Heyman joins us from Roman Reigns’ car after a trip to Del Frisco’s Steakhouse. They’re on their way here and know what Brock Lesnar has done. Threats are made if Lesnar isn’t out of there.

Here’s Ronda Rousey for a chat but first we recap her recent issues with Charlotte. Rousey says she isn’t taking Charlotte’s title, because after Charlotte taps, she can give the title over. Then she’ll be the “Women’s Smackdown Champion.” Rousey: “Why do we have to say women anyway? Call me the Smackdown Champion”.

She calls Charlotte out, but here is Charlotte via satellite to say she isn’t here tonight. Rousey says she broke her first arm at 14 and now she has lost count of how many she has broken. Charlotte laughs it off so Rousey threatens to take her arm off at Wrestlemania. As usual, Rousey is not the most natural speaker.

Kayla Braxton comes in to see Brock Lesnar and asks if he should leave Roman Reigns’ locker room. Lesnar says go find Reigns because he is running out of things to break.

Ricochet vs. Humberto

Championship Contenders match. Angel is here with Humberto for the Los Lotharios Kiss Cam and it takes some time for them to find a woman to kiss. We take a break before the match and come back with…this.

Ricochet vs. Angel

Yes they changed the match during the commercial, because WWE likes to do weird things. Angel starts fast but gets set into the corner, allowing Ricochet to nip up. A jumping knee sets up a high crossbody but Humberto offers a distraction, allowing Angel to small package him for the pin at 2:03.

Post match Ricochet says not so fast so let’s do this too.

Ricochet vs. Humberto

Championship Contenders match. Ricochet isn’t playing this time and knocks Humberto outside, setting up the big running flip dive to send us to a break. Back with Ricochet hitting a springboard hurricanrana, setting up a middle rope moonsault. Angel’s distraction lets Humberto roll him up for two but Ricochet rolls some suplexes for two. Angel pulls Humberto out of the way of the 630 so Ricochet hits a big dive to wipe Angel out. That sends Angel underneath the ring so Ricochet hits a tornado DDT on the floor. Then Angel grabs the foot and Ricochet is counted out at 7:03.

Rating: D+. Well that’s to be expected. Since there is absolutely no other way to set up a title match than by having the champ lose twice in ten minutes, here we are. Ricochet couldn’t just say he wanted a challenge, have both of them come out, and then say sure I’ll do it. No, that would be too interesting and make him look too good. This is the best idea that they had and that says a lot.

Austin Theory runs up behind Pat McAfee and slaps his headset off. McAfee gives chase but Theory runs into Mr. McMahon’s office, leaving McAfee slapping the door. Shouldn’t McAfee have tripped on the way there and then paid a janitor for messing something up? Seems how most good guys are on this show.

We hear about HHH’s in-ring career being over, which is rather sobering given how close to death he was.

Sasha Banks vs. Rhea Ripley vs. Carmella vs. Queen Zelina

All of their partners are here too. Banks and Ripley clear the ring to start and Rhea hits the Rey Mysterio sitout bulldog. Everyone, including partners, get inside for a big brawl and we take a break. Back with the partners all gone and Baszler saving banks from the Prism Trap. Zelina comes in and covers all three for two each but gets pulled into the Bank Statement.

Baszler tries another save so it’s a double Bank Statement with Ripley having to make a save. Banks has to save Ripley from the Kirifuda Clutch, leaving Baszler to save Banks from Zelina’s Code Red. With Baszler on the floor, Ripley hits a flip dive but Vega takes Ripley out as well. Back in and the Bank Statement makes Vega tap at 8:48.

Rating: C. The champ loses again because that’s how you set up title matches around here. This was another match where everyone was doing stuff until one of them got the pin, which is somehow supposed to make me want to see these four teams in a match at Wrestlemania. It didn’t do so in particular, and I doubt it will either on Raw when the other four do the same thing.

Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman arrive. Heyman says he’s worried but Reigns says he’ll be fine. Reigns: “But Brock Lesnar won’t.”

We run down the Wrestlemania card.

Here are Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman for the big final chat. Reigns says Brock Lesnar better be out of his locker room so we cut to said locker room, where Lesnar is nowhere to be found. We cut to the parking lot, where Lesnar has a PICKAXE to smash up Reigns’ car. Reigns says there won’t be any weapons at Wrestlemania, so Lesnar comes to the ring.

Cue Lesnar through the crowd to stare at Reigns from the announcers’ table. Security comes out so Lesnar grabs a chair and dives onto the guards. Reigns and Heyman (plus the Usos, who just appeared) bail so Lesnar beats up security some more. Reigns pops up on screen and promises to make Lesnar acknowledge him at Wrestlemania.

This was one of the most frustrating endings to a show I have seen in a long time. The segment was good, as have been most of the Lesnar vs. Reigns showdowns. What makes it frustrating is that WWE knows how to make a match feel important but they would rather just focus on this one match than anything else on the show. They have intentionally made Wrestlemania a one match show and it has been such a huge part of what is wrong with this year’s show.

Overall Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time I was this annoyed at a WWE show and everything turned on those Ricochet matches. This show felt like it was either actively trying to make everyone (save Lesnar) I’m supposed to cheer for at Wrestlemania look like a loser or trying to make every match as uninteresting as possible. Lesnar vs. Reigns might as well be the whole show and WWE continues to use the same tropes they have used for years to weaker and weaker impact. This show got on my nerves in a big way and that is not a good sign eight days before the biggest weekend of the year.

Results
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Jimmy Uso – Kinshasa
King Woods b. Ridge Holland – Small package
Angel b. Ricochet – Rollup
Humberto b. Ricochet via countout
Sasha Banks b. Queen Zelina, Shayna Baszler and Rhea Ripley – Bank Statement to Vega

 

 

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Smackdown – March 11, 2022: They Need More Than That

Smackdown
Date: March 11, 2022
Location: Legacy Arena, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We are rapidly approaching Wrestlemania and the card is probably about half done. There are still a lot of matches left to be set for the card and it would be nice to see one or more of those matches being added this week. WWE has already set up more than a few matches and stories for the show so at least they have something started. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at Brock Lesnar getting beaten down by the Bloodline at Madison Square Garden, leaving him a bloody mess.

Here is a ticked off Brock Lesnar (who looks perfectly fine and is already back six days after that kind of a beating because taking your time is a lost concept in modern wrestling) who gets right to the point. He doesn’t care about Wrestlemania contracts or WWE Titles (which he throws out of the ring) because all he wants is Reigns’ blood.

Lesnar demands that Reigns get out here but he gets Paul Heyman instead. Heyman says Lesnar wants Reigns….but Reigns isn’t here tonight for Lesnar’s protection. Lesnar: “If Reigns isn’t here, who is going to protect you Paul?” The chase is on (with Heyman running more than he has in years) but Lesnar stops to beat up security, allowing Heyman to escape in a car.

We look back at Sheamus and Ridge Holland destroying Big E.’s ATV.

Sheamus and Holland, still with their sledgehammers, saying they improved the ATV by making it lighter. They want a real fight night tonight and they have someone who wants in on it: Butch, better known as Pete Dunne in a hat (who looks a bit miserable, but that might be Dunne). This is a brilliant idea, because when you have Pete Dunne, a 20 something year old phenom, your best bet is to set him up for Bushwhackers jokes.

New Day vs. Sheamus/Ridge Holland

Butch is here with Sheamus and Ridge. New Day goes after Sheamus before the bell to start so we settle down to Holland taking Kofi down and dropping a knee to the face. Kofi hits a springboard dropkick for two so it’s off to Sheamus vs. Big E. The chase is on and Sheamus catches him with the forearms to the chest. Everything breaks down and Kofi hits a flip dive onto Holland, leaving Big E. to miss the apron splash. A jumping knee drops Big E. and we take a break.

Back with McAfee explaining that we may have known Butch by another name but Sheamus and Holland know him as Butch. My goodness it never ceases to amaze me how this company makes things more complicated than they need to be. Kofi kicks Sheamus down and loads up Trouble in Paradise but a Holland distraction breaks it up. SOS gets two instead with Holland making the save. Big E. misses the dive to the floor and Holland suplexes him ONTO HIS HEAD, leaving him down on the floor. Butch offers a distraction and Sheamus Brogue Kicks Kofi for the pin at 9:25.

Rating: C. The match was pretty good but oh my goodness that suplex was terrifying. These injuries keep happening with Holland and it might be time to take another look at him being in this spot. It keeps happening over and over and that is not something that can continue. What matters is him being ok, because that was absolutely terrifying. As for the match itself, it was hard to focus due to the injury and WWE making Pete Dunne an Oliver Twist cosplayer.

We take a long look at Kevin Owens challenging Steve Austin for Wrestlemania and Austin accepting. It is almost strange to see Austin doing a regular look at the camera promo like this.

Sami Zayn is mad about losing his Intercontinental Title and it is made even worse by seeing a clip of Johnny Knoxville having a banner, featuring Sami’s phone number on a banner. That hasn’t sat well with Sami, but he knows he can overcome Ricochet in his rematch for the Intercontinental Title this week.

Drew McIntyre/Viking Raiders vs. Jinder Mahal/Happy Corbin/Madcap Moss

McIntyre comes to the ring but we see the villains jumping the Raiders in the back. McIntyre slowly walks towards the back and here are Mahal and Shanky to go after him, with Moss and Corbin joining in. That is broken up without much trouble, leaving McIntyre to stare Corbin down. Everyone else gets back up and McIntyre gets caught in the ring, with Corbin laughing in his face. McIntyre fights up and clears the ring, making me wonder why in the world I’m supposed to want to see this match at Wrestlemania. No match of course.

We look at Ronda Rousey beating Sonya Deville last week and then making Charlotte tap out to an ankle lock.

Here is Ronda Rousey for a chat. She is ready for one of the biggest matches of her career at Wrestlemania against Charlotte. Rousey isn’t happy with Charlotte saying she is all about the armbar, because it is like saying Mike Tyson is a one trick pony because he just knocked people out. There are thousands of ways to get to an armbar, but she has spent the last few years refining the ankle lock, as taught to her by her first mentor in wrestling, Kurt Angle.

Cue Charlotte to interrupt, saying that Rousey will be in for the biggest fight of her life. Rousey needs to be worrying about winning on the biggest stage, where she won’t be tapping Charlotte out. Rousey: “Like I already did?” Charlotte calls her a one trick pony so Rousey tells her to bring it, and even offers to let her take off the high heels. Instead Charlotte walks away, with Rousey saying Charlotte is either tapping at Wrestlemania or Rousey is taking her arm home. Talking continues to not be Rousey’s strong suit but she was passable enough here.

We look at Brock Lesnar chasing Paul Heyman off earlier today. Lesnar has left too.

Rick Boogs and Shinsuke Nakamura go surfing in their latest Toyota commercial.

Sasha Banks/Naomi vs. Shayna Baszler/Natalya

Carmella and Queen Zelina are watching from ringside as Shayna takes Naomi down by the leg to start. Natalya and Shayna make a wish on Naomi’s legs and Shayna stomps on the ankle. Naomi fights up and makes the tag off to Banks, who comes in with the middle rope Meteora. Banks sends the villains outside and a sliding headscissors sends Natalya into Carmella and Vega’s general direction. Carmella offers a distraction so Zelina can fail at interference, allowing Banks to hit a basement Codebreaker for the pin on Natalya at 3:19.

Rating: C-. I cannot bring myself to care about this title match as it feels like it was thrown together first and then they are trying to make the three teams feel like they matter. They are building up Banks and Naomi after giving them the title shot, much like they are doing with Liv Morgan and Rhea Ripley. It might work if you have strong champions, but that is absolutely not the case with Zelina and Carmella. Baszler continues to be the most “just there” wrestler who could be something more, but that’s WWE for you.

Here are the Usos for a chat. They brag about their 236 day reign as Tag Team Champions, which is almost a year (not exactly) and Roman Reigns’ nearly two year reign as Universal Champion (again, not exactly). Cue Shinsuke Nakamura and Rick Boogs, the latter of whom has a taped up leg and is badly limping. The Usos laugh off the idea of these two wanting a title shot at Wrestlemania, even calling Boogs Peg Leg Pete. They can have the title shot if Boogs can beat Jey right now.

Jey Uso vs. Rick Boogs

Hold on though as Boogs takes off the leg brace and grabs Jey in a vertical suplex, where he kneels down to one knee twice before taking him down. The gorilla press (with eleven reps)….doesn’t do anything as Boogs just drops him down instead of slamming him due to Jimmy’s distraction. Boogs is right back up with the Boogs Cruise for the pin and the title shot at 1:47.

Post match Jimmy breaks the guitar over Boogs’ back to leave him laying.

Intercontinental Title: Sami Zayn vs. Ricochet

Ricochet is defending and hold on a second here as Austin Theory comes out to sit next to Pat McAfee. Before the bell, Theory gets in McAfee’s face and slaps the headset off of his head. McAfee jumps the table, with Cole shouting NOT THIS WAY and DON’T LET HIM GET TO YOU! Some security finally comes out to clear them out, with McAfee leaving commentary. Theory has to be held back and eventually leaves as we’ll have the bell after the break.

We come back with the bell ringing as Cole talks about McAfee going over the line here, because we need a Michael Cole lecture during an Intercontinental Title match. Ricochet snaps off a headscissors to take Sami down but Sami gets in a neck snap across the top rope. Back in and a sitout powerbomb gives Sami two and we hit the chinlock. Ricochet fights up and knees him down before heading up top. That takes too long though and Sami knocks him off the top for a big crash as we take a break.

Back with…actually a look at McAfee vs. Theory, which absolutely needed to be shown full screen during a title match main event. We go back to the actual match with Ricochet reversing a suplex into a hurricanrana for two. The Blue Thunder Bomb gives Sami two and he takes Ricochet up top, only to get punched back down. Sami crotches him on top though and a t-bone superplex sends Ricochet flying. Back up and the Helluva Kick is countered into the Recoil, setting up the 630 to retain the title at 12:46.

Rating: B-. Well thank goodness for that. I was scared that they were going to put the title back on Zayn for the sake of the celebrity match at Wrestlemania, so at least they did something smart for a change. Ricochet has such a track record of inconsistency so it was nice to see them actually letting him stick with it for once. Good match too, which shouldn’t be a surprise.

We cut to the back where Charlotte and Ronda Rousey are fighting next to a car. Security can’t break it up so Charlotte suplexes her onto the car. Charlotte ties up her legs and fishhooks Rousey’s mouth on the hood. One more shot to the face puts Rousey down and she tries to pull herself to her feet to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. There wasn’t much to be seen her in the way of wrestling, which left the show focused on building up stories for Wrestlemania. That makes sense on paper, but then you get to the reality of the matches they have not being very good. Between McAfee and Knoxville being featured players and Lesnar’s big contribution being chasing Heyman out of the arena, this was a show focused on a lot of midcard material. That doesn’t make for a good show and illustrates how much they are focusing on Lesnar vs. Reigns and almost nothing else. They need something else big on Smackdown, and Zayn vs. Knoxville isn’t it.

Results
Sheamus/Ridge Holland b. New Day – Brogue Kick to Kofi Kingston
Sasha Banks/Naomi b. Natalya/Shayna Baszler – Codebreaker to Natalya
Rick Boogs b. Jey Uso – Boogs Cruise
Ricochet b. Sami Zayn – 630

 

 

 

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Smackdown – February 18, 2022: Keep Them Entertained

Smackdown
Date: February 18, 2022
Location: Smoothie King Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Corey Graves, Michael Cole

We’re taped this week as the roster is in Saudi Arabia for this weekend’s Elimination Chamber. That can make for some interesting shows as the crowd might have to be brought into things a bit more. It’s also the go home show for Elimination Chamber, meaning we are probably in for a lot of hype. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Adam Pearce is in the ring for a contract signing for Charlotte/Sonya Deville vs. Ronda Rousey/Naomi. Everyone comes to the ring and Sonya says she knows how to do this. They immediately start arguing and yelling over each other, because that’s how women interact in WWE. Sonya and Charlotte both sign but Naomi threatens to turn the table over if they don’t stop stalling.

Hold on though because Sonya has a stipulation. A few days ago, Rousey said that she could beat Sonya with one arm tied behind her back, so that’s what she is going to have to do. Ronda is down with that and signs, as does Naomi, and the fight is on. Charlotte has a contract thrown at her and Sonya getting kicked in the head, sending them running off. They kept this short and that might be a good thing.

Sheamus isn’t happy with Ridge Holland losing to Ricochet and wonders if Holland is getting any of this. Tonight, Sheamus will lead by example.

Sheamus vs. Ricochet

Ridge Holland is here with Sheamus. Ricochet starts fast and strikes away before sending Sheamus outside. That means a running flip dive through the ropes but Sheamus is back with a knee choke in the corner. A suplex drops Ricochet and we hit the chinlock. Ricochet fights up and takes it to the floor, only to be fall away slammed over the announcers’ table.

We take a break and come back with Sheamus pounding away until Ricochet manages a tornado DDT. The standing shooting star press sets up a non-running Lionsault for two and Ricochet is getting frustrated. Sheamus grabs an Alabama Slam and goes up top, only to get caught with a super Spanish Fly for a close two. Holland tries a distraction but Ricochet is waiting on him, meaning Sheamus’ surprise Brogue Kick misses. The Recoil gives Ricochet the pin at 10:54.

Rating: B-. That is almost a relief to see as Ricochet gets a win without any major shenanigans. This felt like it actually meant something and that is a lot more than I would have expected. I have no reason to believe that this is Ricochet turning the corner, but at least he won a single match and that is great to see.

Post match Sheamus yells at Holland and shoves him down.

We look back at Rick Boogs “accidentally” getting electrocuted last week on InZayn.

Sami Zayn takes no responsibility for what happened to Boogs last week. Zayn talks about what has happened to him over the last year as we recap the entire conspiracy. Tonight, he makes up for it by getting the Intercontinental Title back.

The Undertaker is going into the Hall of Fame. Well that was expected.

Long Undertaker Hall of Fame video, set to Sad But True by Metallica and American Bad*** by Kid Rock. This of course features all kinds of classic clips and almost every major star talking about what a legend Undertaker is.

Long video on Roman Reigns vs. Goldberg for Reigns’ Universal Title at Elimination Chamber.

Jey Uso vs. Ivar

Jimmy Uso and Erik are here too. Ivar goes with the power to put Jey up against the ropes to start but a superkick cuts that off. The chinlock goes on but Ivar fights up without much effort. The Bronco Buster in the corner sets up a top rope splash to crush Jey, which draws in Jimmy for the DQ at 2:37.

Post match the Raiders clear the ring and get their headgear back.

We look back at Drew McIntyre telling Madcap Moss that their Elimination Chamber match will be falls count anywhere. Moss looks scared, which is usually the case when a big sword is involved.

Here is Drew McIntyre for a chat. He talks about how he used to live near New Orleans and found out that the only people who can drink with the Scots are people from around here. McIntyre has spent a lot of great time around here, but now he is getting ready to go face Madcap Moss in Saudi Arabia.

Since the match is anything goes, McIntyre can do anything from hitting him in the face, sending him into electrical equipment or drowning him in the Red Sea. McIntyre even asks fans to send him ideas on what to do to Moss because he has a 20 hour flight. Cue Moss and Happy Corbin, with Moss promising to laugh all the way home. They make fun of McIntyre’s neck but he promises to make the laughter die at Elimination Chamber. That hashtag idea is smart, as it’s always a good idea to engage the audience in some way.

Shinsuke Nakamura wants to kick Sami Zayn in the face.

Intercontinental Title: Sami Zayn vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Nakamura is defending and they take turns driving each other into the corner to start. Sami gets in a shot to the ribs but Nakamura fights back with kicks and knees. Another knee has Zayn down but the knee from the apron only hits floor to put Nakamura in trouble. We take a break and come back with Zayn grabbing a chinlock. Nakamura fights up so Zayn mocks the NAKAMURA chants and hits a clothesline for two.

Another chinlock doesn’t work either, as Nakamura gets out and hits the sliding German suplex for two of his own. Sami is right back with a Michinoku Driver (which dropped Nakamura on his head) for two more and they head outside. Nakamura kicks a diving Sami out of the air but his running knee hits the steps.

We take another break and come back again with Zayn working on the leg. Nakamura fights back but gets his leg kicked out again, setting up the Blue Thunder Bomb to give Zayn two more. Zayn pounds away in the corner and mocks Nakamura’s COME ON but the kick in the corner is blocks. That means Nakamura can kick him in the head and again against the ropes (in a callback to their classic Takeover Dallas match). Kinshasa is loaded up so Sami rolls outside to avoid being kneed in the face. Sami trips him down and rams the leg into the post, setting up a hard kick to the knee for the pin and the title at 18:12.

Rating: B. This was a long match with Zayn getting smart by taking away Nakamura’s greatest weapon. That made for a good story throughout as Nakamura couldn’t strike away at Zayn, who hung in there long enough to beat him. They had to change the title here as Nakamura had held the thing for six months without doing much of anything with it. Zayn has his conspiracy theory deal and this is as good of a payoff as there was for the whole thing.

Booker T. met with some children at a community center in Dallas as part of Black History Month.

Aliyah is very proud of Ricochet for being Sheamus. Ricochet is so excited by his win that he almost sounds like a human being. With Ricochet gone, Sami Zayn comes in to brag about his own big win.

Video on the men’s Elimination Chamber match.

Here are Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman for the big final showdown with Goldberg. Reigns tells New Orleans to acknowledge him and tells Heyman to celebrate him. Heyman says this is the best part of his day because standing next to greatness is spiritually orgasmic. He talks about how you might not have gotten to see some greatness in person, including Drew Brees….who meant nothing because he played for the New Orleans Saints.

That means a WHO DAT (Saints chant) chant, which doesn’t please Heyman that much. Heyman: “The eleventh commandment on the Island of Relevancy: thou shalt not interrupt the Wise Man’s promo.” Heyman promises Reigns will keep the title tomorrow but here is Goldberg to interrupt. Goldberg picks up a mic and then drops it, leaving Reigns to say he was going to give Goldberg one last chance to acknowledge him. That doesn’t seem likely as Goldberg gets in Reigns’ face and says Reigns isn’t next. When it comes to the Universal Title, Goldberg is next. Staring ends the show. Whatever gets Goldberg out of here the fastest.

Overall Rating: C+. You had two matches of note and both of them were quite good, but the st of the show was lacking to say the least. Now in this case, that is a lot more acceptable for two reasons. Not only was this the go home show with the final push towards Elimination Chamber, but it was also the second two hour show in front of this same crowd. What we got was good, but you could tell they were clipping a lot of corners to keep the crowd from getting totally burned out.

Results
Ricochet b. Sheamus – Recoil
Ivar b. Jey Uso via DQ when Jimmy Uso interfered
Sami Zayn b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Kick to the knee

 

 

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Smackdown – February 4, 2022: The Long And Winding Road

Smackdown
Date: February 4, 2022
Location: Paycom Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Michael Cole

We’re done with the Royal Rumble and it’s time to get going on the Road to Wrestlemania. That is going to get going on this show with a pair of big talking points. First up, Paul Heyman will be explaining why he sided with Roman Reigns and Ronda Rousey might be announcing her Wrestlemania opponent. Let’s get to it.

Here is the Royal Rumble if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Brock Lesnar getting screwed out of the WWE Title at the Royal Rumble but then coming back to win the Royal Rumble later in the night. Then he announced that he will be challenging Roman Reigns for the Universal Title at Wrestlemania.

Here is the Bloodline to get things going, complete with a look at Reigns retaining the Universal Title over Seth Rollins at the Royal Rumble. Paul Heyman talks about how there was no plot or plan, because he made a huge mistake by telling Reigns what he thought. He felt that Reigns needed to be protected and he made a mistake. The Coronavirus picked the wrong human to infect and Heyman got Lesnar the WWE Title match. It would leave everyone where they needed to be…except for Heyman when it comes to Reigns.

On Lesnar’s first night as champion, he came to Smackdown and challenged Reigns to a title for title match at Wrestlemania. Heyman says Lesnar was as stupid as he looked because he was stuck with a happy Saskatchewan farmer who wants to take everyone to Suplex City. Then we got to the Royal Rumble, where the Goat slayed the Beast to save Heyman from having to say the same things over and over.

Heyman starts saying the catchphrase but says you will never hear it again. He now realizes the truth: Lesnar needs to be protected from Reigns. Then Reigns offered him the hand of the Bloodline, which is why Heyman handed over the title to smash Lesnar in the face with it. Now there will be no title for title match because Lesnar will acknowledge Roman Reigns, which Heyman demonstrates.

Heyman tells the fans to acknowledge the Tribal Chief…..and it’s Goldberg time. Goldberg comes to the ring and gets straight to the point with the challenge for Elimination Chamber. For the love of all things good and holy, PLEASE DO THE MATCH ALREADY! WWE has been threatening us with this stupid match for two years now so let them do it already and get it out of their system.

Ridge Holland vs. Ricochet

Sheamus and Cesaro are here too. Holland shoulders him down to start but Ricochet flips over him. Another dodge sends Holland outside but he avoids a charge and drops Ricochet face first onto the apron. Holland stops to say something to Sheamus though and it’s a Codebreaker to give Ricochet the pin at 1:50.

Cesaro/Ricochet vs. Ridge Holland/Sheamus

Joined in progress after a break (thankfully without needing to show someone coming out and making the match) with Sheamus hitting the forearms to Cesaro’s chest and then clotheslining him back in. Pat McAfee is holding the Shillelagh as Cesaro fights out of a chinlock and hands it back to Ricochet to pick up the pace.

A springboard forearm sets up a Lionsault for two as everything breaks down. Cesaro rolls Sheamus up for two but charges into a boot in the corner. A dropkick catches Sheamus with a dropkick on top but Holland tags himself in as Sheamus gets superplexed. Northern Grit finishes Cesaro at 2:54 to get his heat back after all of five minutes later.

Jimmy Uso vs. Erik

Preview of the Tag Team Title match at Elimination Chamber because this is how WWE hypes up tag team matches. Erik slips out of a fireman’s carry to start and blasts Jimmy with a knee to the face. Ivar and Jey get into it on the floor, leaving Jimmy to superkick Erik down. The Superfly Splash (with the We The Ones pose in the air) finishes for Jimmy at 1:14 to continue the fast matches and weird booking choices.

We look at Aliyah beating Natalya in three seconds a few weeks ago. Then Natalya beat her up for a DQ in a rematch.

Aliyah vs. Natalya

Aliyah brags about the 3:17 record winning time but gets picked up without much effort. Back up and Aliyah gets in a takedown for some right hands of her own. A Rey Mysterio sitout bulldog gets two, meaning it’s a shocked near fall face. Natalya hits the discus lariat and they head outside. This time Natalya beats her down for a good while, only to get sent into the barricade to give Aliyah the countout win at 2:22.

Here is the returning Drew McIntyre to say he is back. Before he can get very far, here is Happy Corbin for a distraction, but McIntyre pulls the sword out to stop a charging Madcap Moss. McIntyre wants to hear a funny joke about himself, with Moss saying that Wrestlemania is like a criminal who beats the charges: they both get off Scot-free. That earns him a Claymore (McIntyre: “Idiot.”) and McIntyre promises to make Corbin’s life h***.

Sami Zayn crashed the Jackass Forever premiere and got taken out by security. Johnny Knoxville even stabs him with an electric stick.

Zayn complains to Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville about letting that air on television. To calm him down, he gets his Intercontinental Title match in two weeks. Pearce: “Should we invite Johnny Knoxville?” Zayn leaves and it’s Natalya coming in, saying she wants Aliyah next week, pinfall or submission only, Dungeon Style. Deal.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jinder Mahal

Championship Contenders match and Rick Boogs’ guitar doesn’t work so McAfee dances to the entrance music instead. Boogs and Shanky are here too and here is Sami Zayn to join commentary. Nakamura starts fast with the sliding German suplex but Kinshasa is countered into a fireman’s carry gutbuster for two. Mahal punches him down and we hit the chinlock. The Khallas is broken up and Nakamura kicks him in the face. Kinshasa finishes for Nakamura at 3:14.

Rating: C-. At least they seem to have dropped the idea of Mahal as a thing, which is good news for everyone. Zayn has a good chance of winning the title in two weeks, which will end one of the most under the radar six months reigns since Nakamura’s last under the radar six months reigns. This was your usually dull Mahal match, but that shouldn’t be a surprise these days.

We look at Sonya Deville eliminating Naomi from the Royal Rumble.

Naomi wants Sonya to face her in the ring in five minutes. Sonya says she’s busy so Naomi wants to do it next week. That won’t work either, because Naomi is getting a Smackdown Women’s Title match next week. Naomi doesn’t buy it but Adam Pearce says it’s for real.

Video on Goldberg.

Natalya goes to explain what Dungeon Style means to the bosses (which she couldn’t do when she was in the room with them earlier). Xia Li walks out of the office instead though and Natalya decides to do this later.

New Day vs. Los Lotharios

This is the result of New Day interrupting Los Lotharios’ Valentine’s Day photo shoot. Kofi sends Humberto into the corner to start and rolls him up for two. An Angel distraction lets Humberto get in a cheap shot from behind though and everything breaks down. Kofi gets kicked down and we take a break.

Back with Garza TAKING OFF HIS PANTS and kicking Kingston in the ribs. Angel gets two off a belly to back suplex but Kofi kicks a moonsault out of the air. The hot tag brings in Big E. to clean house, setting up a wheelbarrow suplex into a top rope bulldog from Kofi….for two as Humberto makes the save. Big E. misses the spear to the floor and gets moonsaulted from the top, setting up a Doomsday dropkick for two on Kofi. The Wing Clipper is broken up and it’s back to Big E. for the Midnight Hour and the pin at 9:43.

Rating: B-. This was a weird one as they did a big false finish which seemed to confuse commentary as well. If nothing else, it’s weird to debut a big move like that and then have it get two, but it was indeed a surprise twist. That being said, it would be nice if WWE did something new with New Day, as you can almost feel the Usos showdown coming.

Here are Charlotte and Sonya Deville for the Ronda Rousey Wrestlemania announcement. Deville says Rousey has picked Becky Lynch for Wrestlemania so Charlotte gets to pick her opponent. Charlotte mocks the idea of facing Ronda, who hasn’t done anything since she lost the title. So pick anyone for Wrestlemania because it doesn’t matter. She’ll pick Sasha Banks, who isn’t even here tonight.

Charlotte wishes Banks was here tonight because Wrestlemania will be the best and worst day of her life. She can come sign the contract….and here is Rousey to interrupt. Rousey won the Rumble and says she gets to pick who she faces at Wrestlemania. She didn’t fly into an ice storm with her baby for a chat though and now Charlotte gets to learn the family business of a beating.

Charlotte isn’t special, but she is first. Rousey will see her at Wrestlemania, so the match is on. Charlotte says the title is her baby and prettier than Rousey’s. The jacket comes off so Sonya tries to break it up and gets caught in the piper’s Pit. Rousey snaps the arm for a bonus. So the Becky vs. Rousey thing was a lie and Charlotte vs. Banks isn’t happening? Why bother mentioning them in the first place then?

Overall Rating: C-. The short wrestling was a bit weird this week but they are clearly starting to move towards Wrestlemania. Elimination Chamber still needs to get done as well though, and that makes for a bit of a weird schedule. I’m rather glad that they’re getting Goldberg vs. Reigns out of the way already, but it could make for a long two weeks on the way there. The rest of the show wasn’t great with very little in the way of quality wrestling, but now we should be cranking it up in the coming weeks.

Results
Ricochet b. Ridge Holland – Codebreaker
Ridge Holland/Sheamus b. Cesaro/Ricochet – Northern Grit to Cesaro
Jimmy Uso b. Erik – Superfly Splash
Aliyah b. Natalya via countout
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Jinder Mahal – Kinshasa
New Day b. Los Lotharios – Midnight Hour to Angel

 

 

 

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Smackdown – November 5, 2021: Recalibrating

Smackdown
Date: November 5, 2021
Location: Ford Center, Evansville, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We’re just over two weeks away from Survivor Series and it might be time to start talking about the show. Since it absolutely has to be Raw vs. Smackdown, it shouldn’t be that hard to get things going. The show almost has to be better than last week’s so at least they have a clear bar to clear. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is the Bloodline to get things going. Roman Reigns talks about taking last week off after smashing Brock Lesnar, but now he’s back so this tiny little no name town can acknowledge him. He was on a private island running around sans clothes last week (his wife loved it), but not everyone had a good time. Brock Lesnar got fined a million bucks, but there was one more thing.

Reigns asks Paul Heyman what happened to the Usos, with Heyman talking about how it was a non-title match. When flat out asked though, Heyman has to admit that the New Day won the match. Reigns likes the New Day, even though the Bloodline is better. He wants to know what happened, with both Usos blaming the other for taking the pin. Eventually it’s Jimmy who admits he lost, so Reigns wants to know how he’s going to fix it.

Jimmy promises to make everyone acknowledge the head of the title and the Universal Champion, but here is New Day to interrupt. Woods thinks the King is supposed to be at the head of the table, but Reigns hasn’t stopped talking about sitting there for a long time now. Kofi thinks the table has been forgotten on Reigns’ island of relevancy. As for tonight, Woods has an idea: Woods vs. Jimmy, and when Jey loses, he has to bend the knee to the King. Jimmy says the Bloodline bows to no one but Reigns accepts for him, with Woods having to bend the knee if he loses.

We look at Sonya Deville cheating Naomi out of a match with Shayna Baszler last week.

Naomi vs. Shayna Baszler

In the back, Sonya Deville insists that it has been tough love on Naomi. They start fast with Naomi hitting a Thesz press and then kicking Baszler in the face. Baszler snaps off a German suplex though and they fight outside, with Naomi sending her into the apron. Back in and a good high crossbody gets two on Baszler but she drops Naomi onto the apron.

We take a break and come back with Naomi hitting a Heatseeker onto the apron. A sunset flip gets two but Baszler switches into the Kirifuda Clutch. That’s broken up with a rope break so Naomi grabs a rollup for the pin at 6:33. Hold on though because here’s Sonya Deville to say that should have been a rope break, so restart the match. Cole: “WHERE’S JACK TUNNEY???” The Kirifuda Clutch finishes Naomi at 7:30.

Rating: C-. Yeah we know. It’s the kind of story that we have seen over and over again: a corrupt authority figure does something to mess with a wrestler. The good thing here though is that it could bring Sonya back into the ring and that is certainly a positive. It has been a while since we’ve seen this so it’s far from the worst thing, but they might as well have had a big NOPE sign as soon as Naomi got the pin.

Roman Reigns is ranting to the Usos about what happened last week, saying he took a week off and this place is almost as bad as Raw. Jimmy laughs so Reigns gets in his face, saying they don’t lose.

Remember how Xia Li was coming? She still is.

Ridge Holland is here to meet his idol, Sheamus, because he would fight right in back home. He and his friends were all big fans and everything he knows he learned from watching Sheamus. That is bad news for everyone around here. Quite the interesting backstory.

We look back at Shotzi attacking Sasha Banks.

Shotzi talks about how she has lost everything, from matches to the support of the WWE Universe. That was her breaking point and she is going to run over everyone, even without the tank. This was a good example of someone writing a promo for a wrestler, even if it is not something that fits with their personality. Someone like Shotzi would never say “the support of the WWE Universe” but that’s how WWE people talk so here we are.

Los Lotharios vs. Mansoor/Cesaro

Mansoor takes Garza down by the arm to start but gets caught in a spinebuster as we get an inset interview from some bragging Lotharios. Carrillo comes in to punch Mansoor into the corner and a backdrop allows Garza to TAKE OFF HIS PANTS. The half crab goes on but Mansoor escapes and brings in Cesaro to start cleaning house. The springboard corkscrew elbow sets up the Swing but Carrillo makes the save. Mansoor breaks up the near fall and Cesaro gets knocked into Mansoor. Something like a Muta Lock from Carrillo sets up a basement dropkick from Garza (The Cero de la Silla?) for the pin at 4:59.

Rating: C. You can always use a team like Los Lotharios and they were doing their thing well enough here. The tag divisions have been dying for new talent so this is a perfectly fine addition. Now just let them win some matches and go somewhere with it and they might be on to something.

Aliyah hits on Jeff Hardy but leaves so Jeff can have his interview. Hold on though as Jeff goes over to Aliyah, who runs into Sami Zayn. Sami wants to help her out, so he has one suggestion: pants suit.

Here’s Drew McIntyre for this week’s open challenge.

Drew McIntyre vs. Ricochet

Ricochet says Drew needs to watch his mouth or someone is going to come out here and slap him in the face. That’s what Ricochet does so Drew starts fast, including a heck of an overhead belly to belly. Drew is knocked outside but he catches a running hurricanrana and drops Ricochet onto the apron. Back in and another belly to belly has Ricochet sprawling into the corner.

We cut to Mustafa Ali, who seems interested because he and Ricochet have a lot in common. Back to full screen with Ricochet dropkicking McIntyre out of the air. A standing shooting star press is blocked though and a brainbuster gives Drew two. Ricochet hits some superkicks but a middle rope moonsault press is Claymored out of the air (DANG) for the pin at 3:41.

Rating: B-. WWE is getting the hang of these awesome short matches as of late, as they packed in so much stuff that I thought they had gone twice as long. I’m glad to see Ricochet on the show again and that finish looked great. Then there’s the Ali stuff and while I’m still nervous, they might have shifted away from what it seemed to be in the first place.

New Day is ready for the main event and dancing ensues.

Mustafa Ali comes up tor Ricochet and proposes a team. Ricochet turns him down though, because Ali complains all the time, was mean to his last partner, and is just a jerk. Ali isn’t pleased.

It’s time for Happy Talk, with Happy Corbin and Madcap Moss laughing about how they have no competition. That brings them to their guests this week, the Viking Raiders, who seem to impress McAfee. The Raiders say they aren’t here to be guests but to raid this corny show. Corbin laughs at the idea of two guys in their Halloween costumes. Moss tells them a joke about how bad vikings smell so the set is wrecked.

Viking Raiders vs. Happy Corbin/Madcap Moss

Erik powers Corbin around to start so it’s off to Ivar to work on Moss’ arm. A Corbin distraction lets Moss come back with a spinebuster to Erik though and it’s time to stomp away in the corner. Ivar has to make a save of his own but Moss shoves him through the ropes for something you don’t see very often.

Deep Six gets two on Erik but he knocks Corbin away and brings in Ivar to start breaking people. A crossbody hits Moss for two and there’s the seated senton in the corner. Ivar cartwheels away from Corbin (McAfee: “A VIKING DID A CARTWHEEL!”) and drives Erik into the corner. Corbin is sent outside and Erik powerbombs Moss (after almost dropping him at first) but Corbin pulls Moss to the floor. The threat of an Ivar dive sends Moss and Corbin away for the countout at 5:41.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have much time to go anywhere but they followed the formula so it wasn’t that bad. The Raiders getting pushed again is a good idea and I could go for seeing them face the Usos for the titles. Corbin and Moss are more likely to get the push though, which isn’t surprising and also not the most exciting. Odds are the rematch is next week and a Nakamura/Boogs cameo wouldn’t surprise me.

Raw Rebound.

Hit Row runs into Sami Zayn, who is giving them some advice as the locker room leader. Zayn thought their entrance a few weeks ago sucked, but with some work, they could be stars. Top Dolla asks him to demonstrate a big entrance and the team is rather excited to see this.

Here is Sami Zayn, who is rather fired up during his entrance. With that out of the way, here is Hit Row, who seems to get a bit of a more positive reaction, to send Sami away in some shame.

The Usos ask if Roman Reigns is coming to the ring with them. Reigns asks how many of their mistakes does he have to fix.

King Woods vs. Jimmy Uso

Kofi Kingston and Jey Uso are here too and the loser has to bend the knee. Woods starts fast by knocking Jimmy outside to start. Back in and Woods dropkicks him out of the air for two but Jimmy drops him on the top. We take a break and come back with Jimmy stomping away in the corner before grabbing the chinlock.

Woods fights back up and knocks Jimmy down for a change, setting up a heck of a top rope legdrop for two. Jey offers a distraction though and it’s a super Samoan drop to give Jimmy his own near fall. The Superfly Splash hits raised boots so Jey offers a hand but the referee catches the cheating. Woods grabs a rollup (and pants) for the pin at 9:21.

Rating: B-. I was getting into this one by the end and they had me on a few of the near falls. Woods winning is the right call as he is getting some energy out of the crown, so you don’t want him losing so soon. The match was good action with solid drama and that’s not bad for a total midcard main event.

Post match Jimmy reluctantly starts to bend the knee but here is Roman Reigns to jump Woods and set up the beatdown. Woods’ leg gets taken out and Reigns promises violence next week. New Day is going to need some backup, perhaps in the form of the WWE Champion, who is probably going to be facing Reigns at Survivor Series later this month anyway. That’s some amazing timing.

Overall Rating: C+. Yeah last week was a one off as this was definitely a return to course after last week’s near train wreck. This week had better matches and some good story advancement, so well done on getting things closer to Survivor Series. I want to see what happens when a serious Big E. comes after Reigns and Naomi get to beat up Sonya, plus wherever they are going with Drew McIntyre’s open challenges. Good show here, and that’s nice to see again.

Results
Shayna Baszler b. Naomi – Kirifuda Clutch
Los Lotharios b. Cesaro/Mansoor – Assisted basement dropkick to Cesaro
Drew McIntyre b. Ricochet – Claymore
Viking Raiders b. Madcap Moss/Happy Corbin via countout
Xavier Woods b. Jimmy Uso – Rollup with a handful of pants

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown – August 6, 2021: Roman Reigns Is Interested

Smackdown
Date: August 6, 2021
Location: Amale Arena, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

With just over two weeks to go before Summerslam, things are starting to come together. The big story last week was the return of Sasha Banks, who teamed with and then attacked Bianca Belair in the span of about an hour. There are still a lot of things to cover for the pay per view and odds are we’ll get some of that this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Sasha Banks to get things going. She talks about how she attacked Bianca Belair last week and we see a video about the return and beatdown. Banks says that Belair wouldn’t exist without her because she is the best of all time. Cue Belair to say Banks is one of the greatest every but she isn’t the reason Belair if here. If Banks wants the title at Summerslam, come get it. Cue Zelina Vega with a challenge of her own, meaning Banks can mock Belair a bit from the announcers’ table. That’s fine with Belair, who will fight Vega tonight and Banks at Summerslam.

Rey Mysterio tells Dominik Mysterio to keep calm with the aggression because they have their title shot. Dominik is cool with that.

Jey Uso vs. Dominik Mysterio

The other Uso and Mysterio are here too. Dominik slugs away in the corner to start and adds a dropkick. The springboard wristdrag takes Jey down but he’s back up to hit Dominik in the face. Dominik gets knocked outside but manages to jump back in for a dropkick through the ropes. The sliding sunset bomb sends Jey into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Dominik fighting back, including a dropkick to send him face first into the corner. The 619 connects and Rey takes out Jimmy, only to have Jey come back with the superkick. The Superfly Splash finishes Dominik off at 8:29.

Rating: C-. Nothing much to this one but the Usos taking the Mysterios down again isn’t that much of a stretch. They have their upcoming match at Summerslam but I don’t know if there is much doubt about who is leaving with the titles. It’s kind of nice to have them not build up false drama and it’s fun to see Dominik get kicked in the face.

We recap Seth Rollins attacking Edge last week because Edge got the Universal Title shot.

Edge is asked about what Rollins did last week. Edge: “Seth Rollins. What a rotten selfish b******.” He’s ready to meet Rollins tonight to show what a rotten selfish b****** he can be.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Apollo Crews

Non-title with Rick Boogs and Commander Azeez at ringside. Crews shoulders him down to start so Nakamura kicks him in the face. A jumping knee gives Nakamura two so Crews slams him for the same. That doesn’t do much to Nakamura, who hits a running knee to the ribs in the corner for two. Something like a GTS sets up another kick to Crews’ head but Azeez breaks up the cover for the DQ at 2:10.

Nakamura kicks Azeez to the floor.

Long recap of last week’s Finn Balor/Roman Reigns contract signing, with Baron Corbin trying to steal the title shot but getting taken out by John Cena….who stole the contract instead, because that’s how contracts work.

Paul Heyman (Heyman: “WHAT??? WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT DO YOU WANT???”) is asked about the contract signing last week. He talks about how John Cena is living off of Roman Reigns’ fame and asks what would happen if he jumped Tom Brady and signed his Tampa Bay “Schmucaneers” contract. That wouldn’t get Heyman $75 million because that’s not how contracts work. Heyman isn’t in the mood to talk about this but here’s a very laughing Big E. with the Money in the Bank briefcase. Heyman leaves, looking rather concerned.

Nox vs. Tamina

Tamina has both Tag Team Title belts here and Shotzi is in Nox’s corner. Nox hammers away in the corner to start but Tamina knocks her straight back down. The Samoan drop is loaded up but Shotzi fires the tank for a distraction, allowing Nox to grab a rollup pin at 1:43.

Zelina Vega is told that her Women’s Title match has been downgraded to a Contender’s Match so she can earn the title shot. That’s fine with Vega because she knows she can beat both Bianca Belair and Sasha Banks.

Here is Edge for a chat. Edge is glad that Seth Rollins isn’t here because he doesn’t want to get arrested. To be fair though, Edge probably would have hit him in the face with a camera just like Rollins did because they’re very similar. Edge will show him that when he gets the chance and this will be finished. Rollins pops up on screen to say that they are alike and everyone should have a Plan B. Edge has a Plan B and throws out the Summerslam challenge. That gets a laugh from Rollins, who wants to know what happens when he stomps on a neck that has been fixed three times.

How can Edge take care of his family when that happens? Edge freaks out over that, calling Rollins a cross between Russell Brand, a televangelist and Colonel Sanders (Rollins: “Hallelujah!”). Edge talks about how Rollins should have finished the job in 2014 (they might want to show that a time or two if they are going to keep referencing it). Rollins wants to follow in his footsteps but can’t fill Edge’s boots. That’s too far for Rollins, who accepts the challenge. They were going to get there somehow and this worked as well as anything else.

A ticked off Finn Balor isn’t happy with Baron Corbin costing him a Summerslam Universal Title shot. Corbin can be dealt with tonight, but then Balor has a bone to pick with John Cena.

Street Profits vs. Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler

Montez Ford snapmares Roode down to start but has to bail out of a standing moonsault. The standing dropkick has Roode in trouble but Ford goes after Ziggler, allowing Roode to snap off a spinebuster. Ziggler comes in with a running kick to the face into Roode’s Russian legsweep for two on Ford. A shot to the face lets Ford get over for the tag to Angelo Dawkins but Ziggler Fameassers him down for two. Dawkins is right back with the Anointment though and the Cash Out finishes for Ford at 3:40.

Rating: C. Just a welcome back match for the Street Profits and that was fine. It isn’t like Roode and Ziggler are going to be hurt by a loss so letting the Street Profits get some momentum back makes sense. The Street Profits vs. the Usos would be fine for a fall title program and getting the team reheated is a good way to start.

Bianca Belair vs. Zelina Vega

Non-title. Belair goes right after her to start but gets rolled up for a fast two. Vega gets sent to the apron but grabs Belair by the hair to take over. That doesn’t seem to bother Belair, who gorilla presses Vega but here is Sasha Banks for a distraction. Vega slips out and takes Belair down as we take a break.

Back with Belair fighting out of a chinlock but Vega sends her hard into the corner. The choke goes on so Belair drives her into the corner as well for a break. Belair suplexes her down but a delayed suplex is countered into a DDT. With Belair on the floor, Vega tries a hurricanrana from the apron, only to get pulled out of the air and swung into the apron. Back in and the KOD finishes Vega at 9:50.

Rating: C. Vega got in some offense here but ultimately this was never going to be in a ton of doubt. I’m curious to see how Banks vs. Belair goes and that is the right kind of feeling as we come into a match like this. If they can live up to the hype, things are going to go rather well. Vega worked hard here but was in over her head. The problem is I’m not sure how that can change, but a lot of the skill is there.

Roman Reigns says he is interested in Finn Balor vs. Baron Corbin.

Finn Balor vs. Baron Corbin

Corbin has lost his music but hold on though as he has something to say. He offers Balor an apology for last week but gets punched in the face as Balor DOES NOT accept. Corbin knocks him into the corner and punches at the ribs but gets taken down again in a hurry. There’s the Sling Blade to drop Corbin and the shotgun dropkick puts him into the corner. The Coup de Grace gives Balor the pin at 2:46.

Post match Balor says he wants the Universal Title match with Roman Reigns and if he has to go through John Cena to get there, name the place and the time. Cue Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman to interrupt though and, after a break, they get in the ring for a chat. Reigns talks about how he was trying to give Balor an opportunity, so keep the Head of the Table’s name out of your mouth.

Reigns drops the mic and goes to leave but gets shoved out to the floor. The fight is teased (with the fans chanting for Cena) but here are the Usos to jump Balor from behind. The Superfly Splash misses though and Balor fights back, drawing Reigns back in for the brawl. Balor takes Reigns down but the Usos lay him out. Reigns guillotines Balor for the tap to end the show. Odds are Balor, perhaps as the Demon, is the fall challenger and there is time to rehab him on the way there.

Overall Rating: B-. All in all, this was a solid show with matches being made for Summerslam, good talking and nothing bad. That last part is what often sets Smackdown apart, as they are a pretty steady two hours most weeks. That’s a pretty good place to be and it makes Friday such an easy night of wrestling. It’s not a great show, but it was good enough and I’ll certainly take it at this point.

Results
Jey Uso b. Dominik Mysterio – Superfly Splash
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Apollo Crews via DQ when Commander Azeez interfered
Nox b. Tamina – Rollup
Street Profits b. Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler – Cash Out to Ziggler
Bianca Belair b. Zelina Vega – KOD
Finn Balor b. Baron Corbin – Coup de Grace

 

 

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Smackdown – July 30, 2021: It’s Moving Day

Smackdown
Date: July 30, 2021
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We’re less than a month away from Summerslam and things have been getting interesting around here again. Last week, John Cena challenged Roman Reigns for Summerslam. That was a no, but Finn Balor issued his own challenge and got a yes. There is no word on when that takes place, but it should be pretty soon. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is John Cena to get things going. We look at a recap of last week with Reigns, Cena and Balor, complete with Reigns’ missionary position line. Cena: “If you can find someone who can keep missionary position interesting for two decades, keep them in your life. It’s going to be worth it, I promise.” Cena talks about how he isn’t going to change anything and it wouldn’t make sense. Steve Austin wouldn’t come back as Sasquatch Steve Houston, or the Rock wouldn’t come back as Too Small Johnson.

Cena: “Roman Reigns has to change every two years because if he doesn’t, people stop caring about him.” Reigns is a guy named Joe, who gets by on every gimmick and is too scared to fail. He refused to fight Cena because of how Cena looks, but it’s really because of how Cena makes him look.

Cue Baron Corbin, but Cena doesn’t even recognize him. Cena: “DUDE! YOU LOOK….” Corbin: “Horrible, I know.” Corbin talks about everything that has gone wrong with him, and now he has had his identity stolen. On top of that, he has suffered an injury to a personal area and can’t perform. His wife took the kids and left, but maybe Cena can help him.

Cena asks the fans if he should help him, and Cena hands him some cash. Corbin: “THAT’S IT???” Corbin asks for a part in the Suicide Squad, but Cena says it’s already wrapped. Cena: “It come out next Friday. Make sure you go see it!” Corbin begs some more so Cena gives him the AA. Cena was feeling it here with the mixture of comedy and bombs on Reigns. The Corbin stuff is still great too, though how much more can happen to him?

We look at the Usos taking the Tag Team Titles from the Mysterios.

Dominik Mysterio tells Rey Mysterio he’ll have his back tonight. Rey says keep an eye on him and another eye on the Usos. They have to step it up to get the titles back.

Rey Mysterio vs. Jimmy Uso

Dominik and Jey Uso are here too. Rey sends him into the corner to start and hammers away, setting up the bulldog for two. Jimmy is sent outside but avoids the dive, setting up the superkick to drop Rey. We take a break and come back with Rey kicking Jimmy in the head for a breather. Rey gets sent to the apron and an enziguri drops him again. Back up and Jimmy is sent outside, setting up the slingshot corkscrew dive to take out both Usos. Rey tries the 619 but Jimmy catches him in the fireman’s carry. That’s reversed into a crucifix, with Dominik adding the assist for the pin at 7:58.

Rating: C-. Quick match here to get the Mysterios some momentum to get them ready for their next title match. It makes sense to have Dominik do something like that at the end too, as you can only have him doing the same stuff for so long. It wasn’t a great match or even close to one, but it did what it was supposed to do.

We look back at Bianca Belair retaining the Women’s Title over Carmella at the Rolling Loud festival last week. Even McAfee has to acknowledge how the fans didn’t care.

Here is Bianca Belair for a chat. She is so proud of her 111 day Women’s Title reign and now she is happy to be back in front of these people. Belair can’t wait to see what the next 100 days have….and here is Carmella to cut her off. Carmella thinks she should get another shot because the lighting at Rolling Loud was messing her up.

Cue Zelina Vega to say Carmella is too pretty to be a three time loser. Vega gets in Belair’s face to say the people want to see a rising star get a chance. Belair accepts the challenge but Carmella jumps her from behind. Cue the returning Sasha Banks (not for the first time since Wrestlemania McAfee) for the save and a big hug to Belair. That’s probably Summerslam.

Video on Reginald winning the 24/7 Title.

Reginald talks about doing whatever he needs to do to retain the title. He has been looking everywhere for someone coming after him, even getting a camera on his shopping cart. The title is on the line tonight and while he doesn’t know who is challenging him, they should expect the unexpected.

24/7 Title: Reginald vs. Chad Gable

Gable, with Otis, is challenging and Otis jumps Reginald before the bell. A bridging northern lights suplex gets two on Reginald but he bounces around to avoid the chops. Instead, Gable tiger suplexes him for two but Reginald flips out of a German superplex. Gable is set into the corner to set up the running flipping seated senton, drawing Otis in for the DQ at 1:38.

Post match Reginald is thrown outside but sticks the landing to escape.

Sonya Deville announces Carmella/Zelina Vega vs. Sasha Banks/Bianca Belair for tonight.

It’s time for the contract signing between Roman Reigns and Finn Balor for Summerslam. Sonya Deville and Adam Pearce are in charge, with Pearce saying he knows the fighting is coming. Balor and Reigns, with Heyman, come out, with Reigns insisting on sitting at the head of the table. Pearce asks Reigns to sign, but Reign gets cut off by the CENA chants. Reigns: “We’ve already seen Mr. Missionary tonight.” Reigns asks if Balor heard Cena’s opening promo tonight, because Reigns thought it was Cena saying he was better than Balor. Cena has to use old material while Balor is fresh and new.

Reigns signs, but promises to send Balor back to NXT. Balor says he can’t wait to go back to NXT as Universal Champion again. Balor goes to sign but here is Baron Corbin to jump him from behind. The beating is on and Balor is left laying. Corbin grabs the contract but here is Cena to take Corbin out before he can sign. Cena signs the contract with a blue Sharpie (McAfee: “THAT SIGNATURE IS AWESOME!”). Cole and McAfee question the legality of signing a contract like this as Reigns seethes.

Post break, Paul Heyman asks what Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville are going to do about Summerslam because that contract situation doesn’t work. They look at the contract, which says Summerslam and has Reigns and Cena’s signatures. That’s good enough for them, so the match is on.

Big E./Shinsuke Nakamura/Cesaro vs. Apollo Crews/Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode

Commander Azeez is here with the villains. Rick Boogs handles the intro and McAfee dances as usual. Crews sends Big E. outside in a hurry and it’s a spinebuster/Zig Zag combination to send us to an early break. Back with Big E. getting over for the hot tag to Cesaro, who Swings Ziggler in a hurry. The Sharpshooter is broken up so Nakamura comes in to kick Ziggler down for two.

Kinshasa is countered with a Sling Blade but Ziggler can’t cover. He can however bring in Crews for a standing moonsault to Nakamura. Everything breaks down and we hit the parade of secondary finishers. Azeez tries to interfere but Boogs distracts him with the guitar. The distraction is enough for Nakamura to Kinshasa Crwes for the pin at 6:45.

Rating: C. This was a bunch of people not getting a ton of time, but it probably sets up (at least one of) Crews’ next challenger for the title. A big multiman match of some sort wouldn’t surprise me, and at least in this case they have set part of it up. At least they got to the point here without wasting a lot of time, so this could have been a lot worse.

We look at Edge brawling with Seth Rollins last week.

Here is Edge for a chat….but it’s Rollins in the ring when we come back from a break. Rollins attacked Edge during the break, including a camera shot to the face. Rollins rants about how he had to do that and throws us to a video on his history with Edge. He should be the Universal Champion, but if he can’t be, neither can Edge.

We recap the contract signing.

Next week: Finn Balor vs. Baron Corbin.

Sasha Banks/Bianca Belair vs. Carmella/Zelina Vega

Belair and Carmella start fast by running Carmella over. Carmella gets in a few shots on Banks in the corner as everything breaks down. They all head outside with Belair gorilla pressing Banks, climbing onto the steps, and then throwing her onto the other two. We take a break and come back with Belair fighting out of a full nelson but getting slammed down anyway.

Carmella stomps away in the corner and Vega cuts off another hot tag attempt. Vega’s Black Widow is broken up in a hurry and the hot tag brings in Banks. House is cleaned, including Three Amigos to Vega. The frog splash gets two with Carmella making the save. Carmella’s X Factor is countered into the Bank Statement for the tap at 8:42.

Rating: C. Just a quick match to get Banks back in the ring with a win. I’m not sure I buy the idea that Banks is going to be Belair’s new best friend, but that is one of the two default stories for women in WWE these days. Hopefully this gets rid of Carmella from the title picture for the time being, as that has been done for a while now.

Belair and Banks celebrate after the match….until Banks jumps her. The beating is on and the Bank Statement makes Belair tap. Banks picks up the title and then puts the Bank Statement on again to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was ok for the most part but the angles were what mattered here. You have Cena vs. Reigns made official, Edge vs. Rollins all but official, and Banks returning to set up her rematch. This was the heavy lifting show that Summerslam has been needing and now we should have most of the Smackdown half set. The matches look good too, so hopefully they can live up to the hype.

Results
Rey Mysterio b. Jimmy Uso – Crucifix with assist from Dominik Mysterio
Reginald b. Chad Gable via DQ when Otis interfered
Big E./Shinsuke Nakamura/Cesaro b. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode/Apollo Crews – Kinshasa to Crews
Sasha Banks/Bianca Belair b. Carmella/Zelina Vega – Bank Statement to Carmella

 

 

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Smackdown – July 23, 2021: This Was A Fine Wrestling Show

Smackdown
Date: July 23, 2021
Location: Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse, Cleveland, Ohio/Rolling Loud Festival, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Michael Cole

We’re into the second week of having fans back and this time the big story is John Cena returning to Smackdown to see Roman Reigns. You can see Summerslam from here but we still need to make it official. Other than that, Carmella is getting another shot at Bianca Belair for no particular reason. Let’s get to it.

Here is Money in the Bank if you need a recap.

We start fast this week with John Cena starting us off in a hurry. He talks about how hyped up the fans are here and knows that Roman Reigns is coming. There is some sports news coming out of Cleveland today, which is why he has changed his middle name to Guardians (as did Cleveland’s baseball team). He has to protect the little respect that WWE has left because Roman Reigns is terrible as Universal Champion. We’re back live and that means we are on the way to Summerslam, which is a place for the fans to show what they believe in. Whose team are you on?

That gives us a loud CENA chant, so he asks if you’re on Team Jorts or Team Cargo Pants? Team Hustle, Loyalty and Respect or on a team no one respects? Cena wants to know where Reigns is, because at Summerslam, Reigns can’t see him. Let’s get Reigns out here, but here is Paul Heyman (McAfee: “Legend.”) instead. Heyman says Reigns isn’t coming out here, but Cena will get an answer tonight. Then, Cena will know that the Tribal Chief is here. Heyman then does You Can’t See Me and sings (I guess?) the tune of Cena’s song in something you have to see to appreciate/believe. Both guys were amazing here.

Finn Balor vs. Sami Zayn

Commentary makes a special point of going over the titles and accomplishments of these two, which is a good idea that could happen more often. Sami takes him down with an armbar and then rakes Balor’s eyes over the ropes. Balor gets sent outside and Sami hammers away, only to have Balor do the same back inside. This time it’s Sami being sent outside for the big running flip dive from Balor.

We take a break and come back with Sami grabbing a chinlock. Sami cuts off a comeback attempt with a DDT but Balor is right back up with a Sling Blade. The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two more on Balor, who pulls Sami right back down for a double stomp. The shotgun dropkick sets up the Coup de Grace to give Balor the pin at 8:51.

Rating: C. This was about getting Balor back in the ring to show that he can still win around here. Sami is the perfect choice for that as he can lose and lose while still bouncing right back. I’m not sure what Balor is going to be doing around here but going after Apollo Crews and dealing with Commander Azeez could be interesting.

Baron Corbin managed to lose money with his Corbin Fund Me because the guy who set up the website stole his identity. He has no credit now and had to ride the bus here. Corbin: “What’s happened to me?”

Here is Mr. Money In The Bank Big E. for a chat. After some YOU DESERVE IT chants, Big E. talks about how he did some crazy things on Sunday (Big E.: “I don’t have any business jumping off ladders!”) but here is Apollo Crews to interrupts. Crews mocks him for only having a contract but here are Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode to interrupt as well.

Ziggler says you better be talking about the two of them if you’re talking about the Intercontinental Title (which we weren’t) but here is Rick Boogs to interrupt. Before he can say anything, it’s Cesaro interrupting as well. The brawl is on and Crews gets a quick Swing. There were a lot of people here and they were talking about the same thing, but the briefcase was completely moved to the side.

We go down to the Rolling Loud Festival where Wale leads the fans in a WE WANT THE SMOKE chant and introduces the Street Profits.

Angelo Dawkins vs. Chad Gable

The set is really weird here as the ring is on the stage, with a really long ramp extending out from the ring. There are a TON of people here too, as in several thousands at minimum. Montez Ford and Otis are here too as commentary talks about the other acts performing at the festival.

Gable pulls Dawkins into the triangle choke over the ropes to damage the shoulder again and a top rope clothesline gets two. A suplex gives Gable two more and a German suplex is good for the same. Dawkins avoids a moonsault though and sends Gable outside, only to get caught with a Liger Kick back inside. Gable grabs a backslide for two but Dawkins hits the Anointment for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: C. They were smart to keep this short and sweet as you do not want the people to lose interest. The Profits were here for the big entrance and that worked out well enough, as the feud continues towards a pretty big tag match. Not exactly a great match, but that wasn’t the point of something like this.

Women’s Title: Carmella vs. Bianca Belair

Carmella is challenging for the second week in a row. Belair rolls her up for an early two but Carmella is back with a flying headscissors. The fans want something else as Belair fights up and snaps off a fall away slam. The handspring moonsault gets two as the fans are saying they want….something. A jawbreaker staggers Belair and an X Factor gets two more. Back up and Belair misses a big boot, which means nothing as she grabs the KOD to retain at 4:47.

Rating: C-. Just like the previous match, this was about getting in and out before anyone overstayed their welcome. Carmella was absolutely not a threat to the title here and while the second title match was a little much, it was over and done with in a hurry. Now just find someone new for Belair to face (maybe a debuting Toni Storm) and we should be in for some good stuff.

Back in Cleveland, Shotzi and Nox are having trouble with their tank. Kevin Owens suggests hitting it with a hammer, which is all he can think of doing. Owens runs into Baron Corbin, who apologizes for treating him badly last week. That is how Corbin has been for years now and he asks Owens for forgiveness. Corbin is even wearing the same shirt as last week (complete with stain) so Owens actually gives him $20. Owens leaves and NOW the tank works, hitting Corbin rather low. Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode come in to steal the money so Owens chases them off with a chair.

Here is Edge for a chat. Those reactions do something for him and he is so happy to be back. If you saw Money in the Bank, you know he should be Universal Champion but Seth Rollins kept that from happening. Edge thought he had all of his bases covered with the Mysterios, but this was bigger than that. This goes back to when they met in 2014 and Rollins thought Edge would never be back. Well not only is he back, but he is in Rollins’ way. Edge talks about being in the Brood and in the Ministry of Darkness but here is Rollins to interrupt.

Rollins greets Grandpa Edge, who keeps talking about the man he used to be. Edge: “Shut up.” Edge invites him to the ring for a man to man talk but Rollins says Edge knows what can happen to him. As Edge sighs, Rollins comes to the ring and talks about how John Cena and Edge are jumping the line, but the more he thinks about it, the more thrilled he is. Rollins wants the people to give it up for Grandpa Edge because he loves how much Edge wants to talk about him.

If Edge keeps talking about him, the only thing people will say about Edge is how Rollins ended him. Rollins isn’t going to hesitate to pull the trigger the next time he has his boot on Edge’s neck. Edge says he lied about not putting his hands on Rollins so the beatdown is on, including the Impaler. Rollins bails from the threat of the spear, though he does leave his jacket in the ring. This was fine as a way to keep the build going for a match you know is coming.

Toni Storm vs. Zelina Vega

This is Storm’s full time debut. Vega is knocked outside to start but Vega sends her into the announcers’ table. Back in and a headbutt rocks Storm as commentary explains that she is stuck in the 80s. A sunset flip gives Vega two and she rips off Storm’s belt. That is too far as Storm grabs Storm One (starts off like Randy Orton’s backbreaker but flipped over into a cutter) for the pin at 2:34. Vega get in a lot here but Storm felt like a star, which is all that matters.

Jimmy Uso vs. Dominik Mysterio

Jey Uso and Rey Mysterio are here too. Jimmy decks him to start and a hard whip into the corner has Dominik in more trouble. An enziguri cuts off Dominik’s comeback and Jimmy does not seem impressed. Dominik gets in a quick drop toehold to load up the 619 but Jimmy bails to the floor. Rey deals with Jey and Dominik hits a dive as we take a break. Back with Jimmy kicking him down again as Rey gets knocked down. Dominik tries a springboard rollup but they get into completely different pages and seem rather lost. Jimmy finally stacks Dominik up with Jey giving an assist for the pin at 7:45.

Rating: D+. The ending really hurt things as it looked terrible and they couldn’t figure out what to do. Thankfully the seemed to improvise enough to get to the finish but it isn’t likely to help Dominik’s already limited reputation. I’m sure we’ll get a title rematch out of this somehow, if nothing else due to the lack of other challengers for the Usos.

Here is Roman Reigns to answer John Cena’s challenge. The fans don’t seem thrilled to see him but he demands to be acknowledged. Cena acknowledged him at Money in the Bank but Reigns did not expect to see it. Reigns was expecting a new Cena but it was the same music, the same run to the ring, the same catchphrases and the same everything, just like it was 2005. Reigns: “It’s like missionary position. The same thing every day!”

That’s not how we do it at the head of the table and that’s not what we’re doing at Summerslam. The answer is no (makes sense, as Bobby Lashley said the same thing to Goldberg this week), but here is Finn Balor of all people to interrupt. Reigns wants Balor to acknowledge him, but that’s not why Balor is here. If Reigns says no to Cena’s challenge, how about Balor instead? Fans: “ROMAN’S SCARED!” Reigns: “Challenge accepted.”

Overall Rating: C+. This was a fine wrestling show, which is some pretty high praise after Raw. There were some good parts and there were some weaker parts, but above all else, there was nothing stupid on here and that made so much of a difference. It wasn’t about doing things that made little sense or seemingly sending some kind of message, but rather about setting things up and getting them done. I liked this show, and while it had some issues, that is a nice feeling to have again.

Results
Finn Balor b. Sami Zayn – Coup de Grace
Angelo Dawkins b. Chad Gable – Anointment
Bianca Belair b. Carmella – KOD
Toni Storm b. Zelina Vega – Storm One
Jimmy Uso b. Dominik Mysterio – Rollup with a push from Jey Uso

 

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.