Smackdown
Date: July 18, 2008
Location: Time Warner Cable Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Mick Foley

It’s the go home show for the Great American Bash and we are getting ready for HHH vs. Edge, which feels something like a major match. On paper it certainly is, but in this case the main story is the continuing saga of Edge and Vickie Guerrero. Naturally things are going well again and now we are probably on the way back towards the wedding. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Edge and Vickie Guerrero’s rocky relationship.

And now, the wedding, with Chavo Guerrero as best man and everything seems to go off without a hitch. The reception is tonight and that’s a bit of a twist on the usual formula.

The wedding party is introduced for the reception, with the rest of La Familia and Alicia Fox waiting on the stage. Chavo welcomes Edge to the family and thinks he’ll be perfect with some of that wild side. Edge isn’t THAT wild any more though, as he never even turns his phone off anymore so he won’t miss anything from Vickie. It’s Chavo’s honor to be the best man and he’ll be there when Edge wins the World Title on Sunday. Chavo even has a mock WWE Magazine with Edge as champion on the cover. Edge says Vickie loves her action so let’s get things started.

Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

This is a preview of the four way Tag Team Title match at the Bash, also involving Jesse and Festus and Miz/John Morrison. Before the match, Edge says he’s tired of seeing Finlay and Hornswoggle cheating every week, but Hawkins and Ryder are too smart for the water guns and such. So is Edge, who will be the guest referee.

Hawkins and Ryder (and Edge) are in wedding clothes and Edge throws the shillelagh out before the bell. Finlay takes Hawkins into the corner to start but Edge breaks it up, which JR doesn’t see as the best move. Edge’s distraction lets Hawkins hammer away and it’s off to Ryder for a neckbreaker. Finlay fights up and brings in Hornswoggle to clean house but Edge hits a spear on Finlay to give Ryder the fast pin.

Post match Edge heads back to the stage for the first dance with Vickie. Cue Big Show to cut in so Edge gives him a handicap match right now.

Big Show vs. Great Khali/MVP/Shelton Benjamin/Vladimir Kozlov

So how did Edge know those four would be ready to go if this was an impromptu match? Show shoves Benjamin down without much effort to start so MVP comes in. That involves nothing physical whatsoever before it’s off to Kozlov. Show shoves him into the corner without much trouble so Khali tags himself in. A quick clothesline drops Khali and everyone else comes in for the DQ.

Post match the beatdown is on, including the chokebomb from Khali.

Post break Vickie is in the ring (you might be noticing a theme here) to throw the bouquet, with a bunch of women at ringside. Michelle McCool and Natalya get in a fight, with Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder getting rid of McCool. Cherry catches the bouquet, which earns her a match against….Vickie. But only after her first match.

Cherry vs. Natalya

They’re both in dresses and Natalya wins in less than 45 seconds.

Vickie Guerrero vs. Cherry

Vickie pins her in five seconds.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. The Brian Kendrick

This is the debut of the new Kendrick, complete with a monster named Ezekiel. Kendrick wants nothing to do with this handshake stuff so Yang takes him down with a headlock takeover. Back up and Yang hits a running clothesline to the floor but an Ezekiel distraction lets Kendrick get in a cheap shot. Kendrick starts in on the arm back inside but charges into an elbow in the corner. A missile dropkick gives Yang two so he goes up for the moonsault, only to have Ezekiel offer a distraction. Kendrick slams him down and hits Sliced Bread #2 for the win.

Rating: C+. This was a good enough debut for the new Kendrick, with Ezekiel playing into the finish like a monster enforcer should. Kendrick’s new attitude worked well and there is some potential for him to do something with this. Yang continues to be a solid hand in the ring and is the right choice to put in a spot like this one.

Edge gets a box of Slim Jim’s, saying he’ll show his spicy side later tonight.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Umaga

Kennedy strikes away to start but Umaga gets in a hard shoulder. An even harder clothesline has Kennedy in more trouble and he runs into an elbow in the corner. This lets Umaga get in his variety of stomping/stepping on Kennedy’s head before grabbing the nerve hold. Kennedy’s comeback is cut off by a knee to the ribs and things slow right back down. We hit the nerve hold again before Umaga drops him one more time as we take a break.

Back with Umaga putting on ANOTHER nerve hold as this match will not get going. Kennedy tries to fight up but his slam attempt falls down and we are off to the fourth nerve hold. With Kennedy daring to do something, Umaga uppercuts him right back down as the fans are dying with every boring second of this mess. Kennedy fights back again and actually gets somewhere with right hands and an enziguri for two. The Mic Check is blocked though and the Samoan Spike finishes for Umaga.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t so much a bad match as much as it was terribly dull. The match was less than fifteen minutes long and it included four different nerve holds. The match just wasn’t interesting and it felt like Umaga was doing less than phoning it in. Kennedy can’t do much when his comeback is cut off time after time so the beatdown can keep going. Really dull stuff here.

Edge is in a new Slim Jim commercial.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Jesse and Festus

Non-title. Festus chases Miz and Morrison outside to start as the champs already need a breather. Morrison gets suplexed to start and Festus slams Jesse onto him for two. Back up and Morrison knocks Jesse into the corner as JR compares Morrison to Rick Rude. Jesse gets out of said corner and brings Festus back in to clean house. A Rocket Launcher top rope forearm hits Miz with Morrison having to make a save. Everything breaks down and Miz grabs the Reality Check to pin Jesse.

Rating: C. They kept this one really short and it didn’t do much to get me excited for the four way Tag Team Title match at the Bash. The champs have already beaten one of the teams, so why would I want to see Jesse and Festus getting a title shot? I get not having the champs loses here as they just lost on ECW, but it’s not the best way to go for Sunday.

Raw Rebound.

Great American Bash rundown.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title and they come to the ring at the same time, though only after hitting Chavo Guerrero with a cake. Respect is shown to start and Jeff goes after the arm. That’s reversed into an arm crank from Matt, who knocks Jeff down. Neither can hit a Twist of Fate so Jeff runs up the corner for the Whisper In The Wind to take over. The slingshot dropkick (that always looks good) gets two but he has to break out of the Side Effect. Jeff knocks him down again, only to miss the Swanton. Matt’s moonsault gets two but La Familia runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was a weird one as they didn’t want to fight each other and the fans weren’t sure what to do here. The smart move here is that they kept this short, as there was only so much you can get out of a match like this one. The action was good but the vibe was off, which was kind of the point of the whole thing anyway.

Post match the beatdown is on and Edge hits a spear to each Hardy.

Post break La Familia is in the ring so Edge can talk about how much he loves Vickie. He even has a special video package of their relationship, including their time in a park on a seesaw and in, uh, more intimate areas. With that out of the way, here is HHH to interrupt, complete with a big gift box. First though, let’s get this out of the way: no he isn’t secretly married to Vickie.

While he didn’t have the time to get a big special video together, he does have a video of his own. We see a video dated yesterday, showing Alicia Fox coming to see Edge with Vickie nowhere to be seen. Edge is worried about some wedding details so they go over some planning, including food options (uh, that should probably be decided earlier than the day before the wedding). HHH pauses the video and thinks Edge is a bit anxious, so let’s skip to the good part.

Back to the video, with Edge talking about how a white rose symbolizes his love for Vickie. He’s so attracted to scents, including whatever perfume Fox is wearing. She’s not wearing any perfume (cut to a VERY displeased Vickie in the arena) and Edge touches her arm, saying his trapezoid (Fox: “Your what?”) is locking up on him. A slightly nervous looking Fox rubs his neck (Edge: “I think it’s getting a little stiffer.”) but HHH pauses things again.

Edge explains that his neck was flaring up, with HHH saying lots of guys have women massage their necks when their wives aren’t there. An angry Edge sends the troops after HHH, who pulls out gift #2: a sledgehammer. HHH: “It’s one size fits all and there’s plenty for everyone!”

We go back to the video, which now sees Edge rubbing Fox’s back. Edge suggests taking the bra off (Fox isn’t sure) and mentions he went lingerie shopping yesterday, but there was nothing in Vickie’s size. He was told to go to the store for “bigger people” and talks about how big Vickie’s underwear really is. HHH stops the tape again and says this is awkward. He says he didn’t watch this yet, but it kills gift #3: some rather large underwear. HHH: “I can always park my car under it.”

We go back to the video where Edge takes off Fox’s glasses and…she’s going to leave. Edge stops her and they kiss, with Fox certainly approving. Back in the arena, Vickie glares at Edge, Fox looks like she’s about to cry, and Bam Neely is talking to Chavo Guerrero about something. Vickie screams a lot as Edge leaves to end the show. I’m going to assume they ran out of things to air here, as this went nearly 20 minutes and they easily could have accomplished the same thing in half the time.

Overall Rating: C-. It would be an understatement to call this a one note show as the Edge/Vickie stuff went from start to finish, with the villains sitting on the stage almost throughout the night. The wrestling was nothing special with that Umaga vs. Kennedy match being especially dull. Other than the Tag Team Title match, there is nothing important but Edge vs. HHH at the pay per view on the Smackdown side. Pretty weak show this time, though the reaction to Edge kissing Fox (once they got there) was good.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Smackdown
Date: June 6, 2008
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Mick Foley, Michael Cole

We FINALLY have a new Smackdown World Champion as Edge (with all of his friends helping) defeated Undertaker in a TLC match to win the title. In addition, Undertaker is officially gone from WWE and I know Edge won’t be bragging about that in the slightest. We are less than a month away from Night Of Champions and that show could use some attention. Let’s get to it.

Here is One Night Stand if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of TLC, with Edge stealing the title. Actually not really as anything goes, so I guess it was clean? Kind of?

La Familia is in the ring, with Vickie Guerrero (back in the wheelchair after walking at One Night Stand) introducing Edge to quite the negative reception. They all have champagne as Edge thanks everyone, but especially Vickie herself. Edge talks about how Vickie completes him, because she made this happen. As for Undertaker, Edge would have run him out of here anyway so Undertaker should thank him. Edge: “May he rest in peace.”

Vickie announces that she and Edge are getting married in five weeks on July 11, but cue Batista to interrupt. Batista doesn’t know why he wasn’t invited to the party but he just wants to wish them luck. Actually he just wants to wish them bad luck and ugly kids because he doesn’t like either of them!

Either way, he wants a World Title shot, but Vickie gives him an eight man tag tonight where he can face La Familia while teaming with three partners…of Vickie’s choosing. Oh and if he loses, no title shots EVER! They certainly hit the ground running here after One Night Stand and that is a good thing, as Edge really needed to face someone new after that never ending feud with Undertaker.

Finlay vs. Chuck Palumbo

This is a Belfast Brawl (street fight) with Hornswoggle in Finlay’s corner. Hornswoggle goes after Palumbo’s bike and gets shoved down to start, meaning Finlay is ready to fight fast. Palumbo gets in a few right hands on the floor and it’s already time for some weapons. A drop toehold sends Palumbo face first into a trashcan but he’s back up with a right hand. Palumbo takes off a turnbuckle pad so Finlay gets the shillelagh, earning himself a big boot. With Finlay down, Palumbo loads up a chain but Hornswoggle hits him low, allowing Finlay to get in a chain shot to win.

Rating: C. That should end the feud but it’s kind of amazing to see how much Palumbo has gotten out of the whole thing. Finlay never was able to get the better of him without help and Palumbo dominated a lot of their time together. Not great here, but you’re only getting so much out of a five minute street fight.

MVP is in a sky box and doesn’t seem pleased with Finlay and Hornswoggle.

Here is Big Show, with a heck of a black eye, to brag about winning the Singapore cane match and say he’s on to a bigger challenge in Kane. Cue Mark Henry to interrupt because he remembered Show telling him to pick on someone his own size. Then he got involved in a match involving STICKS. Show got beaten up to look like that, and we see Show going face first into the steps to bang up his eye. Show is ready to fight but Henry walks away.

We see WWE accepting an award at a film festival involving the military. I believe we saw this a few weeks ago.

Great Khali vs. Deuce N Domino

Deuce starts for the team and is promptly caught in the claw. Domino comes in and gets kicked in the face so they’ll try some double teaming. Khali has no time for this and hits a pair of chokebombs for the pin. Total destruction.

Vickie Guerrero talks to the Divas and compares herself to the Fabulous Moolah. She wants her own Women’s Champion though, so the Divas Title is coming. Tonight, we’ll crown one of the competitors. This has to happen as you can only have random matches for personal issues for so long.

We recap Jimmy Kimmel’s Cousin Sal, as trained by Roddy Piper, vs. Santino Marella. A lot of this is cut off of Peacock, likely due to trademarked footage.

Santino Marella vs. Cousin Sal

Roddy Piper and Jimmy Kimmel is here with Sal, who is in a kilt. Sarah Silverman is here in the crowd for a bonus. They circle each other to start as we hear about how much Sal has waned to do this over the years. Sal grabs a headlock and Santino might need to rethink this. We get the airplane spin and a suplex for two on Santino as Kimmel looks like he’s seeing an amusing dog trick. Kimmel offers a distraction and Sal gets a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. I almost didn’t rate this but it was officially a match. No this wasn’t anything from a quality standpoint and that wasn’t why they did it. This got them on Jimmy Kimmel Live and tied some things into that with the Piper appearance so it’s hard to complain. Nothing match, but they were in and out in less than six minutes.

Post match Santino jumps Sal but Piper saves Kimmel.

MVP is still not impressed.

Post break Sal is getting checked out by Kimmel, who won’t let Sal talk for some reason. Kimmel has Sal’s next opponent, and brings in Big Show for some clowning.

Miz and John Morrison mock Hornswoggle but Finlay comes in (complete with green hat) to scare them off.

Edge talks to Chavo Guerrero, who he wants to be the best man. He’s going to be Uncle Edge after all! Chavo is in and we get an awkward hug.

Kelly Kelly vs. Layla vs. Maryse vs. Cherry vs. Natalya vs. Victoria vs. Michelle McCool

This is the Golden Dreams match, meaning there’s a gold star on a pole and the winner is in the Divas Title match. Everyone goes for the pole to start and that quickly devolves into a huge brawl. The ring is cleared save for Michelle and Natalya, with Michelle kicking her out and going up. Maryse makes the save, followed by Layla and Victoria doing the save. Natalya powerbombs Victoria and Michelle down and grabs the star for the title shot.

Million Dollar Mania press conference video.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Kozlov grabs a front facelock to start before kicking Yang in the face. The half crab goes on so Kozlov can yell a lot but he misses an elbow. Yang kicks him in the head, only to miss an elbow. Kozlov finishes with a belly to belly.

Batista is ready for Edge and company.

La Familia vs. Batista/???/???/???

Batista’s partners are Nunzio, Funaki and Colin Delaney. Batista and Ryder start things off with Batista not having much trouble. Chavo comes in and gets Jackhammered for two so Batista Rocket Launchers Delaney onto Chavo for two more. We take a break and come back with the villains taking turns on Delaney.

Edge grabs a headlock and forces Delaney to tag Funaki (sidenote: Foley points out that Nunzio and Funaki are former Cruiserweight Champions and very well could cancel out the Edgeheads. That might not be the story they are going for, but it’s accurate.), who gets beaten down for a change. Ryder’s chinlock goes on before it’s back to Edge, who counters the tornado DDT without much trouble. Funaki avoids a charge and Batista gets the tag to clean house. Edge breaks up the Batista Bomb and everything breaks down. Batista hits a double spear and the Batista Bomb finishes Hawkins.

Rating: C+. They were telling a story with Batista overcoming the odds here and, as Foley pointed out, Nunzio and Funaki have had some success before so they could have been worse. Batista getting the win should set him up for Night Of Champions, but odds are he has some more hoops to clear first. As commentary was pointing out though, with Undertaker gone, who else is there to come after Edge?

Overall Rating: C. The idea of Edge vs. Batista is nice and they do need a Women’s Title here, but the rest of the show wasn’t exactly must see. You had a bunch of short matches, including the pole match, and that doesn’t exactly make for a strong middle of the card. There are worse shows, but this didn’t give me confidence on the way to Night Of Champions.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Russell Crowe Wrestling: RussellMania 3
Date: March 30, 2023
Location: Burbank Moose Lodge, Burbank, California
Commentators: Erik Barnes, Rivers Langley

So this is Wrestling Pro Wrestling, a comedy promotion run by Brian Kendrick. The event was held over Wrestlemania weekend and then released on Youtube, though I have a grand total of no idea what to expect here. With wrestlers named Poptart Boy and Leather Daddy, I’m almost scared to know what I’m getting myself into. Let’s get to it.

Opening video, which features a bunch of stills and has quite the early 80s feeling.

Erik Barnes welcomes us to the show and makes it clear that Russell Crowe will NOT be wrestling and describes this as a wacky wrestling promotion. The Midcard Title (which sounds like the official name) and the Wrestle Turkey Title will be on the line tonight, but first, here is Cereal Man (a superhero with a box of cereal for a mask). He can’t find promoter Gary Tickles, who has left a note: “see you next show suckers, no refunds.”

There is an idea though, so here is Darwin Finch, apparently a scientist, who has invented a cloning machine. His goons have stolen some celebrity DNA, so here are clones of Tom Cruise, Gary Busey and Sean (normally spelled Shaun) White. Cereal Man says these clones suck, but apparently they are clones of celebrity impersonators on the Hollywood Walk of Fame (ah, the common problem). We’ll try one more so here is Chuck Norris….as portrayed by Jimmy Wang Yang. That’s enough for Cereal Man, who throws everyone out. Cereal Man: “You guys want to see a chicken wrestle a bear?”

Chick-A-Dee vs. Evgheni

Dee is a woman in a chicken costume (Commentary: “This pollo is loco!” Should be loca but whatever.) and Evgheni is a Russian bear. The Bear hibernates to start so Chick pokes him, only for the Bear to go back to sleep. Back up and a bear claw shove gets two on Chick but the referee faints after a well places growl. The Bear bites Chick’s face and then….decides to go to the bar, meaning it’s a countout at 4:09.

Rating: C. Yeah we’re going to be in for a weird show here and it should be a lot of fun as a result. I’m not sure I got the joke here but at least they are living up to the kind of show that they want to be. Also, thankfully they kept this short instead of driving the joke into the ground like so many would.

Anthony Andrews vs. Koto Hiro

Andrews is a cowboy and one half of the NWA US Tag Team Champions. Hiro on the other hand is your stereotypical Japanese masked man. They go for the grappling to start with the much smaller Hiro not being able to get very far. Hiro kicking him in the head works better though and a rolling cutter gets two.

Andrews knocks him outside and hammers away on the floor. Back in and Hiro snapmares him down into a jumping knee to the face but Andrews plants him with a Rock Bottom. A middle rope Codebreaker gets two but Hiro is back with a springboard spinning Codebreaker. That sets up a missed frog splash though and Andrews grabs a pumphandle powerslam for the pin at 8:50.

Rating: C+. Actually not too bad here, which mainly focused on a power vs. speed match. Andrews isn’t a hue guy but he’s big enough to outmatch someone like Hiro. Other than that, Hiro kept things moving enough and sold the big power stuff well enough. Not a great match, but it was close enough to being serious to make it work.

Respect is shown post match.

Fourmage Horsemen vs. Stoner Brothers/El Chupacabra/Anton Voorhees

Oh boy. This is WPW vs. Hoodslam, because that’s a good idea. So the Horsemen are Gorgonzole Anderson/Parm Anderson/Ricotta Flair/Tully Blancheddar, while the Stoners are Rick Scott and Scott Rick (not typos), complete with a STONERIZED theme. And yes, the Horsemen all have heads made of cheese. Before the match, Flair makes fun of the other four, including saying the Stoners are more like the Groaner Mothers. Anton and Tully start things off, with Tully going rather basic (“This is an aged cheddar after all.”) but Anton comes back with an enziguri.

Tully gets quadruple teamed in the corner so it’s off to Parm vs. Chupacabra, with the former being knocked into the corner. Rick Scott adds a superkick but Gorgonzole comes in for a wristlock. A series of shots in the corner put Gorgonzole down but he gets over to Flair for the rapid fire chops. Not that they matter as Flair is knocked down and picked up/dropped back by all four for a quadruple pin at 5:05.

Rating: C. Yeah I laughed and that’s the point of something like this. It’s a big choke with cheese puns and I don’t think they were trying to do anything else. Let them get in there, do their jokes and get out before it goes too long. If nothing else, points for being able to come up with a gag for the entire Horsemen, including that aged cheddar line.

A clone of David Copperfield (magician, not Dickens) and here is brings a fan into the ring for a card trick. Before he can complete it though, the Great Branzino, with his Goblins (Dingleberry and Grundell) interrupts. Branzino is about three and a half feet tall and says we’re not here for magic or over the top characters. No one wants to see that fool Luigi Primo! Cue Primo (the guy who can spin a pizza while doing really basic moves), with Branzino saying it’s an amazing coincidence that Primo is here. Since he is here though, the Goblins should get him!

Luigi Primo vs. Goblins/Great Branzino

They fight over wrist control, with Primo using the pizza to mistake. Primo hits them with the pizza, so Branzino tells the Goblins to form the TROLL TRON. As Grundell gets on Dingleberry’s shoulders, Copperfield gives Primo a second pizza, which he combines with the first to scare the Goblins away. Branzino hits Primo low for the DQ at 2:31.

Post match Branzino pulls out some pepperoni pizza flavored Combos but Primo chokeslams him onto them instead….for a pin, despite the bell ringing off the low blow. These pizza and magic themed characters should be better with their continuity.

Kid Isaac/Sam Squatch vs. Devastator 2/Devastatress

Devastator is billed from Hot Topic. Devastatress is a mystery partner, who is better known as Jazzy Yang (Jimmy Wang Yang’s daughter). Squatch is in a rather large Bigfoot costume and seems rather interested in the Combos. Isaac hands his sunglasses to Squatch to start and they are promptly destroyed. Devastator tries a test of strength and gets a tickle from Isaac and it works so well that they do it again. Isaac offers to let Devastator tickle him but gets kicked in the ribs instead.

Back up and Isaac runs the corner, walks the rope, and jumps back down for some more tickling. Squatch comes in to run Devastator over and a double shoulder gives Isaac two. Devastatress gets in a cheap shot from behind as commentary continues to call every move either the Devastator or the Devastat-Her. The chinlock goes on for a bit before Devastatress goes after the knee.

Isaac enziguris his way to freedom and hands it back to Squatch to slow things down. A Rocket Launcher hits Devastator for two but Devastatress isn’t tickleish. Instead Isaac forearms her in the face to little avail, as she drops him fast. A low blow to Squatch sets up a chokeslam, followed by a 3D to finish Isaac at 11:08.

Rating: C-. Once you got past the joke of every move being called the Devastator/Devastate-Her, there wasn’t much to see here. Isaac wasn’t overly funny and a guy in a Bigfoot costume is only going to get you so far. I wasn’t feeling this one, but when your entire show is a bunch of jokes, some things aren’t going to land.

And now we have the “Sexy Chino Hollywood Adjacent Dance Party”. We have Sexy Chino, the Clone of John Travolta, Emo Tep (the emo mummy), Boogaloo Brown, Haystacks (a large stack of hay wearing overalls), and David Boomerang (a giant mouse). They all dance until Boomerang….starts stabbing people. Boomerang is awarded the win “by way of stabbing” and apparently this is a pattern for him.

Tag Team Titles: Darwin Finch/Fidel Bravo vs. Fabio/LJ Cleary

Finch and Bravo (with El Cucho El Sicario) are defending. Finch and Fabio start things off as commentary stops to argue with Cleary over not being able to tell the challengers apart. Fabio hits a dropkick to start so it’s off to Cleary, who gets caught with a springboard armdrag. Bravo comes in and yells at Finch, allowing the challengers to take over and dance a bit.

The double teaming has Bravo in trouble and Fabio snaps off a suplex for two. Finch gets in a slap from the apron though and Bravo scores with a DDT. Everything breaks down and Finch and Bravo take over, with Bravo actually hugging him. Then Sicario hits Finch low, allowing Bravo to hit Finch with a Falcon Arrow so Cleary can get the pin and the titles at 7:12.

Rating: C. This wasn’t so much a joke as much as something with an actual storyline, which worked well enough. What mattered was getting the title change out there to make the show feel important and not doing a bunch of jokes for once. It makes something like this feel like it mattered, though things were hardly serious, as you should kind of expect around here.

Post match Officer Robot Cop (exactly what it sounds like) comes out to say the new champs broke the law so the titles are officially stripped. Finch and Bravo are still champions.

Midcard Title: Battle Royal

King Dezi, Jumping Jim Logan, Tarzan Duran, Man Like DeReiss, Hobo, Mike D., Charles Ray

Yes it’s called the Midcard Title and this is billed as a “several person battle royal”. Tarzan is Tarzan, Dezi is an actual king, DeReiss raps himself to the ring, Mike is rather muscular and Ray (a Ray Charles knockoff, complete with blindness and a yellow suit) is defending. Logan yells at everyone else to start and says he is NOT jumping, despite that being his name. He finally jumps once and a bunch of people knock him silly, allowing Ray to get the pin for the elimination.

Ray sings as everyone else fights to the floor (this is feeling a lot more like an elimination match than the battle royal they advertised) before heading outside to sing about how everyone in the ring is fighting and shooting. Mike bearhugs Hobo before Tarzan comes in to work on Hobo’s arm. Hobo hits a running corner clothesline but gets taken down by a flipping neckbreaker.

The singing is still going on as DeReiss stomps on Dezi in the corner. Hobo and DeReiss trade standing switches as Tarzan listens to Ray singing. After Hobo misses a kick, DeReiss…..sprays him with air freshener for the pin. With that odd choice out of the way (Ray, still singing: “Positive sounds, that’s what I heard, hope it was good.”), Tarzan comes back in and kicks Mike outside. A springboard flip dive takes Mike down and a Code Red gets two back inside.

Mike pops back up with a powerbomb and a helicopter bomb finishes Tarzan. Ray, with his trombone, comes in and hits some people by mistake, allowing Dezi to pin Mike. We’re down to Ray, Dezi and DeReiss and the singing continues, with commentary talking about how long this song has been doing. Ray is now singing about how he has a goat and 58 farms so DeReiss goes after him, only to get sceptered down by Dezi for the pin. Ray thinks the scepter is the microphone and accidentally knocks Dezi out before covering him to retain at 14:45.

Rating: B-. Ray sang that song for over fifteen minutes and while it was just bizarre freestyling by the end, it went on for so long that it was hilarious. This whole thing was a bunch of people getting in a little bit of time while Charles did his thing and it worked far better than it should have. This was one of the better jokes on the show and that is covering a lot of ground.

Sneaky Snakes vs. Leather Daddy/Rubber Baby

The Snakes would be the Sassy Assassin/Sneaky Pete and are in striped shirts and masks, making them look like very stereotypical prisoners/bank robbers. They also have Sacre Blue with them, while Daddy and Baby have very large rubber fast masks. The Snakes jump them from behind to start as Blue seems to be fighting in this as well. Baby gets double teamed to start but Daddy makes the save with a double noggin knocker. Back up and Pete knocks the Baby’s head off, revealing a red mask.

Baby gets to clean house but super fan Courtney Glove comes in to try and calm him down….which earns her a trip to the floor. Assassin hugs Baby but gives him an atomic drop, resulting in a diaper issue (just go with it). Baby chases the villains around with a diaper and rubs it in Blue’s face…which apparently allows Blue to talk without a lisp. Blue: “I CAN FINALLY BE A VOICE ACTOR!” He’s so happy that he falls down and Baby falls down on him for the pin at 5:04.

Rating: D+. So that happened. I’m not sure I get the joke here but the Snakes were at least unique in a good way…I think. This feels like something where I might need to know these people a bit more to care and this wasn’t exactly the most brilliant comedy. Much more of a skit than a match here and not in a good way.

Post match another shot to the face brings the lisp right back.

Eli Everfly vs. Gregory Shmegory Sharpe vs. Mizuki Watase

Sharpe is a high flier (as in a pilot) and Watase is from DDT Pro in Japan. Actually hang on as we have a fourth entrant.

Eli Everfly vs. Gregory Shmegory Sharpe vs. Mizuki Watase vs. Watts

Watts, a rather skinny guy, is described as a powerhouse. Watase and Watts form an early alliance which is broken up in all of three seconds. With the other three on the floor, Watase hits a big dive and strips down to his gear. Back in and Watase hits a basement dropkick on Sharpe, who is right back with a Rock Bottom. Everfly comes back in with a springboard wristdrag but Watts is back in to fall away slam all three of them. A double chokeslam puts Sharpe and Watase down but Everfly gets the sleeper.

That’s enough to bring Watts down to his knees and a triple kick to the head puts him down. Watase takes Everfly down but Sharpe knees him in the face to leave all four down. A chokebomb gets two on Sharpe with Everfly making the save. Everfly hits a heck of a tornado DDT to send Watts outside, where a top rope hurricanrana takes him down instead. Back in and Watase brainbusters Sharpe for two, followed by a scoop piledriver (starts as a slam, ends as a Tombstone) for the pin on Sharpe at 7:54.

Rating: C+. Other than the pilot thing for Sharpe, this was a pretty straight match without anything very unique or even comedy stuff. That being said, it was rather nice to have a different kind of match after doing so much of the same kind of material (even in different forms) all night long. Not a great match or anything, but a nice pallet cleanser, which you need at times.

Wrestling Pro Wrestling Wrestle Turkeys Title: Poptart Boy vs. Dark Sheik

Poptart Boy (he’s a walking Poptart and teams with Cereal Man as the Breakfast Of Champions) is defending (the title is huge and looks to be homemade) while Sheik is a mermaid (so she has to hop to the ring). A lockup puts Poptart Boy against the ropes and Sheik (still hopping, because she has a single fin instead of legs) flips him off.

Poptart Boy shoulders her down and hammers away in the corner. Sheik hammers away (Commentary: “Shot to the frosting.”) and it’s a Fish One Nine before Sheik starts eating his filling (exactly what it sounds like). Poptart Boy is fine enough to hit a chokeslam and a falling splash (frosting side down) retains the title at 4:19.

Rating: C. I’m sitting here trying to think of what to say about this and….yeah what am I supposed to say? It’s a humanoid Poptart fighting a woman whose legs are tied together to make her a mermaid while commentary uses lines from Under The Sea. This was every idea you could think of from the outer reaches of an intoxicated mind and yeah, it was kind of great.

Russel Crowe Pro Rumble

Cinderella Man, Robin Hood, 3:10 To Yuma, Gladiator, Master And Commander, Master And Commander 2, Another Gladiator, Another Gladiator, Black Gladiator, Beautiful Mind, King Ghiraffedorah

Darwin Finch is on commentary and each one is a character from a Russell Crowe movie (plus some repeats because, as commentary put it, they were running out of ideas). The bell rings and hang on as here is Ghiraffedorah (a three headed giraffe, due to reasons of just go with it) to get in the ring. Everyone backs away from him but it’s a bunch of headbutts and chokes (with the arms being other giraffe heads). Then he spits something out and it’s…..the ace of clubs, the card from the fan with the card trick about an hour and a half ago! The fan comes in and gets attacked as well so we’ll throw it out at 2:33.

Finch: “I really hope I won’t be held responsible for this.” Ghiraffedorah attacks some fans to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked it. This show didn’t try to be anything that it wasn’t and completely embraced the insanity. It was one idea likely created by Brian Kendrick and his friends under the influence of various substances and as a result it was rather fun in a lot of ways. This wasn’t about wrestling but rather having a lot of fun with wrestling going on. It’s nothing I would want to see full time or anywhere close to it, but for a one off, there is some great stuff in here. Not all of the jokes work, but or a weird trip inside the mind of wrestling fans, this was a great time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Smackdown
Date: May 2, 2008
Location: Boardwalk Hall, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Commentators: Mick Foley, Michael Cole

We’re done with Backlash and Undertaker beat Edge again to retain the World Title. That leaves us on the road to Judgment day and odds are the trilogy match between the two is on the horizon. Other than that we are going to need something else around here and we might start that this week. Let’s get to it.

Here is Backlash if you need a recap.

Here is Teddy Long to get things going with a big announcement: the Tag Team Titles, the United States Title and the Smackdown World Title will be defended. It was a bigger announcement when I heard it on ECW but Long’s voice helps anything.

Opening sequence.

Mick Foley is brought out as the new commentator and seems to be popular.

Tag Team Titles: Miz/John Morrison vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

Yang and Moore are challenging and I almost had that written down before they came to the ring. Why? Well they’ve lost to Miz and Morrison a few times already and that just isn’t enough to prove a point in 2008 WWE. Moore takes Miz down for a fast two and a legdrop is good for the same. Morrison comes in and gets dropped with a spinning middle rope crossbody for two. Yang sneaks in for two off a dropkick but Morrison pulls him off the ropes to take over for the first time.

It’s back to Miz to grab a chinlock, followed by the running corner clothesline for two. The backbreaker/slingshot elbow combination gives Morrison two more and it’s back to Miz for the seated abdominal stretch. An enziguri gets Yang out of trouble though and the hot tag brings in Moore to clean house. Everything breaks down and Moore’s rollup gets two but the Moonlight Drive (apparently the debut of the name) drops Moore to retain the titles.

Rating: C+. It dragged a bit in the middle but these teams have chemistry together. That being said, it was hard to imagine Moore and Yang winning the titles in the first place and now the best thing we can do is enjoy matches without much drama about the result. The division still barely exists, so can we please get some depth going sooner than later?

ECW GM Armando Estrada introduces the next match.

Colin Delaney vs. Vladimir Kozlov

In a rare instance, neither of them have entrance music. Kozlov knocks him around with ease to start and hits a big boot to the chest. Delaney is sat on top and then thrown back down in a big crash. The reverse DDT finishes fast, with Estrada, who faces Delaney on ECW with Delaney’s future on the line, being rather pleased.

Mark Henry threatens Nunzio with pain during their match tonight.

Natalya/Victoria vs. Michelle McCool/Cherry

This was set up with some patented backstage cattiness. Natalya headlocks Michelle down to start and it’s quickly off to Victoria. Michelle pulls her off the ropes for a crash before a monkey flip puts Victoria down again. Cherry comes in with a high crossbody for two but Natalya trips her down like a villain should. The double teaming is on but Cherry manages to crawl over (despite Natalya holding her foot) for the tag to Michelle. A swinging neckbreaker gets two on Natalya but Victoria shoves Michelle off the top. The crash is enough for Natalya to grab a rollup, with tights, for the pin.

Rating: C. The best thing I can say about this, and most of Smackdown’s women’s matches as of late, is that it felt like a match. It wasn’t the stereotypical Divas stuff, but rather a completely acceptable match. Michelle has come a long way in a short amount of time and I would assume a lot of that is due to working with a veteran like Victoria. That is a great benefit to have and if that is what it is, it seems to be paying dividends.

We look back at Undertaker retaining the World Title over Edge at Backlash but not letting go of the choke. Edge went out on a stretcher and Vickie Guerrero screamed a lot.

Mark Henry vs. Nunzio

Nunzio seems to know he’s about to be in extreme pain….so he brings out Big Show to be in his corner. Nunzio kicks away and it goes as well as you would expect. Henry shove shim into the corner and the World’s Strongest Slam finishes fast.

Post match Big Show gets in the ring and Henry backs off. Show tells him to pick on someone his own size. So not Show, who is 50lbs heavier and eight or so inches taller?

US Title: MVP vs. Matt Hardy

Matt is defending after beating MVP to take the title at Backlash. The referee holds the title up so MVP pulls it away, apparently feeling that it’s his. Matt headlocks him down to start and then does it again for a bonus. Back up and MVP takes it into the corner, followed by a heck of a clothesline. A slightly angrier than usual MVP hammers away and we hit the chinlock with a facelock.

Matt fights up and manages a bulldog for two, setting up the fourth headlock takeover in about five minutes. Since it’s just a headlock, MVP pops up and gets punched in the face for his efforts. The running crotch attack against the ropes gives Matt a weird looking cover for two but MVP clotheslines him down again. Matt gets knocked hard off the apron and into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with MVP holding a cross arm choke and then slapping on another choke to make it worse. This time Matt fights up and grabs a tornado DDT but MVP hits the running kick to the face in the corner to knock him silly. We’re off to a crossface chickenwing of all things but Matt is back up to slug away. A very out of nowhere Twist of Fate retains the title.

Rating: B-. This was a more aggressive MVP and that style worked well for him. There was almost no way Matt was losing his title so soon after winning it, but this feud certainly deserved a long rematch. I could go for more of the aggressive MVP though as it was easier to take him more seriously. Good stuff here and the best match on the show so far.

Mick Foley is in the ring and brings in Batista, who lost to Shawn Michaels following Shawn injuring his knee. Batista respects Shawn and while he doesn’t like some things Shawn has done, it was Batista’s fault for letting his guard down. We see a clip from the Highlight Reel on Raw, with Chris Jericho accusing Shawn of faking a knee injury. That idea makes Batista sick to his stomach and he hopes Shawn is hurt. If he isn’t, he will be when Batista sees him. As usual, short form Batista is the best Batista and he got his point across fast here.

Jesse & Festus vs. Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

Festus starts hammering on Hawkins to start and drives some knees to the ribs. As Foley tries to figure out which one is biscuits and which one is gravy, Jesse takes over in the corner. It’s off to Ryder, who takes Jesse into the corner. The neck crank goes on for a bit before Ryder gets two off a neckbreaker. Jesse belly to backs his way to freedom and brings Festus back in to clean house. A splash hits Ryder but Hawkins offers a distraction, allowing Ryder to get in a shot to the throat. Jesse has to come back in and the neckbreaker faceplant gives Hawkins the fast pin.

Rating: C. It’s not easy to get into these matches anymore as it feels like these same teams have been fighting for months now without getting anywhere. Someone solving Festus isn’t the best sign for his future, but it’s even worse for Jesse’s, who only exists as Festus’ partner. Not a bad match, but the tag division outside of Miz and Morrison only feels like filler these days.

Finlay vs. Julio Dinero

Finlay drives a shoulder in the corner to start and drops Dinero with a clothesline. Back up and Dinero is sent outside as Hornswoggle pops out from underneath the ring. A backdrop and the Celtic Cross complete the squash to give Finlay the win.

Post match Hornswoggle hits a Tadpole Splash.

Smackdown World Title: Great Khali vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is defending…or he isn’t, as Vickie Guerrero comes out to say not so fast.

In recent weeks, Undertaker has injured a lot of people with his illegal choke. Therefore, the choke is banned and since Undertaker shows no remorse, the title is vacated. Since Undertaker won’t hand it over, Vickie sends Great Khali down to get it. Khali goes to get it and is kicked in the face. Undertaker grabs the choke as Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder come down to get the title. The choke stays on so long that Khali is bleeding from the mouth as Undertaker lets go to end the show. That’s certainly a twist and at least gives them a better reason for Edge vs. Undertaker to continue aside from “Vickie says so.”

Overall Rating: C+. The twist ending boosts this up a bit as it makes things that much more intriguing. Unlike Raw, this didn’t feel as much like we’re heading for Backlash II later this month with Judgment Day. Focusing on the titles all night long is not a bad idea, and the MVP vs. Matt Hardy match was good enough for the show’s long wrestling segment. Nice enough show here, and I want to see where the main event story is going so points for getting the important stuff right.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Backlash 2008
Date: April 27, 2008
Location: 1st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 11,277
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Mick Foley, Tazz, Mike Adamle

We are at the official Wrestlemania followup pay per view and the top of the card is rather stacked. First up we have a Wrestlemania rematch for the Smackdown World Title, though this time Edge is challenging Undertaker. On Raw, it’s a similar situation from Wrestlemania, but this time JBL is added to the John Cena/Randy Orton/HHH mix and it’s elimination Rules. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at how this is the Wrestlemania fallout, including the bigger matches.

Mick Foley is replacing Coach on commentary, which has to be a nice upgrade.

US Title: Matt Hardy vs. MVP

MVP is defending in a match almost a year in the making, as they had a big feud going but then health issues slowed both of them down at different times. Feeling out process to start with neither being able to get very far early on. Matt drops the wrestling and hits him in the face, followed by a hiptoss for a quick one.

MVP puts him on top but gets elbowed back down, setting up a moonsault onto MVP’s raised knees. The abdominal stretch stays on the banged up ribs and MVP is evil enough to grab the rope. Matt grabs the leg and counters with something like a Samoan drop but MVP goes right back to the ribs. A big clothesline gets Matt out of trouble but MVP hot shots him ribs first onto the top.

The Playmaker is countered into the Side Effect for two and Matt goes up. This still doesn’t go well for him as MVP crotches him down but a super Side Effect gives Matt another near fall. MVP goes a little more basic by kicking him in the head and then does it again for a bonus. The running boot in the corner misses though and the Twist of Fate gives Matt the pin and the title.

Rating: B. The ending was a little flat but what mattered here was giving Matt the big win to FINALLY pay off the feud. Other than that, they had a hard hitting match with Matt having to fight from behind for a good portion but he managed to hang in there enough. The ending was clean too and now Matt can move on to something else, albeit likely after a big rematch with MVP first.

In the back, Matt Hardy talks about how this is the biggest win of his career and emphatically says he is BETTER THAN MVP.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

Guerrero, with Bam Neely, is challenging. Kane sends him into the corner to start and hits a basement dropkick but seems to be limping a bit. A gorilla press plants Chavo but he’s right back with some shots to the hip/leg. The still limping Kane sends him outside and gets in a ramp into the apron to work on Chavo’s back. The rather wise Chavo goes right back to the leg, sending it into the apron and post.

Neely gets in a cheap shot to validate his presence before Chavo is right back to a leglock. Kane powers up with an electric chair drop and some corner clotheslines. The side slam gets two and the top rope clothesline knocks Chavo to the apron. That’s enough for a tornado DDT to get Chavo out of trouble and it’s right back to the knee. The frog splash connects….with Kane’s hand, as he grabs Chavo by the throat for the chokeslam to retain.

Rating: C-. The problem with Kane vs. Chavo continues, as there is no reason to believe that Chavo, even with help, is going to be able to beat Kane. Throw in Neely doing almost nothing here and there was no reason to get involved here. Kane limped around a lot and then shrugged it off to take over in the end. There isn’t much to get invested in here and it shows worse every week this feud has continued.

Randy Orton isn’t worried about defending against three challengers tonight because he’s retaining the title.

Great Khali vs. Big Show

The fans seem interested as we get the big staredown to start, followed by the slugout. They trade headbutts and chops until Khali drops him with a clothesline. Show’s attempt at a slam doesn’t work as Khali knocks him out to the floor with another clothesline. A big boot drops Show back inside and Khali grabs something like a crossface (ok then). Show fights up but Khali falls on him to break up a slam attempt. The nerve hold goes on before the big chop to the head drops Show again. Show fights to his feet again and finally gets the slam, followed by the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t good, it was very slow paced, and I have no idea why anyone would have expected anything else. There is only so much that Khali is going to be able to do in the ring and they didn’t deviate from that plan, with a lot of Khali’s stuff involving him standing still. Not a good match by any means, but it was exactly how this should have gone and was far from some disaster.

John Cena and Jimmy Wang Yang seem to be talking country music when Randy Orton comes in. Cena and Orton trade threats for the main event.

We recap Batista vs. Shawn Michaels. Batista was unhappy that Shawn Michaels didn’t lay down for Ric Flair to keep his career alive. Shawn more or less told Batista to get over it and the match was set. Chris Jericho got involved as the guest referee and seems to be more on the Batista side, despite Batista sounding incredibly whiny in the whole thing.

Batista vs. Shawn Michaels

Chris Jericho is the guest referee. They circle each other a bit to start and both miss their early finisher attempts. Michaels tries to go after the arm by driving in some knees and grabbing the short armscissors. Batista powers up but they fall over the top, cranking the arm even more.

The bad arm is sent into the post and the armbar goes on back inside. Batista finally powers out of it and hits a Samoan drop, followed by a clothesline to turn Shawn inside out (that always looks cool). The good arm is used for some shoulders in the corner but Shawn counters the Batista Bomb into a Crossface. With Batista getting too close to the ropes, Shawn is smart enough to roll it back into the middle to keep cranking.

The rope is finally grabbed but Jericho has to pull Shawn off (rather quickly at that). Batista is back up with a side slam and a spear cuts Shawn in half for two. Shawn is placed up top but shoves Batista down, setting up the top rope elbow. The superkick is countered into a heck of a one armed spinebuster and Batista is shaking the ropes levels of fired up. The Batista Bomb is countered….but Shawn has hurt his knee on the landing. Batista, ever the genius, falls for it and gets superkicked for the pin.

Rating: B. This was a somewhat slower paced match but the psychology worked well. Shawn knew that he couldn’t handle Batista in a straight fight but he also knew that Batista was so mad he was going to come right for him. That let Shawn pick him apart, mainly with the arm, before outsmarting him in the end. That’s how the match should have gone and it worked well, with Jericho not being much of a factor whatsoever.

Shawn’s knee is banged up enough that he has to be helped to the back. Why do I not quite believe him?

HHH and Randy Orton have their own psych out session, with HHH saying that pride comes before the fall.

Beth Phoenix/Jillian Hall/Layla/Melina/Natalya/Victoria vs. Ashley/Cherry/Kelly Kelly/Maria/Michelle McCool/Mickie James

Beth wants Michelle to start and shoves her down early on. Michelle’s kicks to the back don’t do much as Phoenix grabs a powerslam to take over. Melina comes in and gets beaten up by Mickie but Victoria comes in to slam her down. The dancing moonsault misses and everything breaks down fast. We actually settle back down to Beth chinlocking Ashley, who slips out of the Glam Slam. Everything breaks down again and we hit the parade of finishers. Beth’s release fisherman’s suplex finishes Ashley.

Rating: C-. This is one of those matches where there wasn’t much else that could have been done. You had twelve women sharing less than seven minutes and that is not going to go well. Maybe they were never given the time to do anything or they were trying to hide some of the limitations, but the Smackdown women really need something to fight over other than bragging rights.

We recap Edge challenging Undertaker for the Smackdown World Title. Undertaker took the title from Edge, but Vickie Guerrero has set up the rematch and put Undertaker through a bunch of opponents on the way. Simple story but Vickie knows how to sell it very well.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Undertaker

Edge is challenging and is shoved outside rather quickly to start. Back in and Undertaker starts working on the arm to keep Edge in trouble and a good bit of cranking ensues. Edge gets smart by raking the eyes and knocking Undertaker outside, where a baseball slide knocks him down again. That doesn’t last long as Undertaker runs him over back inside and drops a leg for two.

Edge fights back again and gets in a shot to Undertaker’s banged up back, setting up the bodyscissors. A dropkick to the back, followed by a sliding dropkick to the back, has Undertaker in more trouble. Edge’s camel clutch goes on twice in a row, with Undertaker having to drop backwards onto him for the break.

They collide in the middle for a double knockdown but it’s Undertaker up first with Snake Eyes into the big boot. Undertaker shoves him off the top but misses a top rope legdrop of all things. With that odd visual out of the way, Edge grabs the title, only to have to counter a chokeslam to save himself. Edge goes for the turnbuckle pad, which the referee fixes, allowing Curt Hawkins to run in with a belt shot for two. Undertaker fights up again, takes out Zack Ryder, and grabs the triangle choke to retain the title.

Rating: B. This was a far cry from the Wrestlemania match and felt like a good TV match rather than a pay per view co main event. That being said, there is nothing to suggest that Edge can win a straight match against Undertaker so the ending was what made sense. Odds are this somehow still isn’t over though, as Vickie Guerrero dragging it out would not be a surprise. On top of that, who else is there on Smackdown that would make an interesting challenger right now? Anyway, nice match here, but nothing great or memorable.

Post match Undertaker keeps the hold on, with Vickie Guerrero coming out as Edge is bleeding from the nose/mouth. Undertaker leaves him laying and Vickie freaks out as Edge is taken away on a stretcher.

CM Punk wishes Randy Orton good luck, even as Orton is knocking on JBL’s door.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Randy Orton retained over John Cena and HHH at Wrestlemania so let’s do it again, with JBL added, and under elimination rules.

Raw World Title: JBL vs. HHH vs. John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending under elimination rules. We get the Big Match Intros and Orton goes for the belt, only to get knocked outside by JBL. That leaves Cena to hammer on HHH in the corner but HHH sends him outside. Cena runs Orton over on the floor and hammers away, only to get knocked off the apron and into the announcers’ table.

Orton and JBL double team HHH inside, only to have him double clothesline his way to freedom. HHH sends JBL into the steps but it’s Cena back in with the top rope Fameasser to Orton. The STFU goes on and JBL….is smart enough to not break it up. HHH crossfaces JBL, who pokes Cena in the eye to save Orton. With the crossface broken up as well, JBL boots Orton in the face for two but he clotheslines JBL right back.

JBL catches Orton on top and let’s just turn that into a Tower Of Doom for the big knockdown. Cena is back up to initiate the finishing sequence on HHH, who cuts him off with a spinebuster. A backdrop sends HHH to the floor and Cena STFU’s JBL for the tap. Before Cena can get up, Orton Punts him for the pin ten seconds later and we’re down to Orton vs. HHH.

Orton gets sent outside and rammed into the announcers’ table, only to reverse a whip into the steps. A catapult sends HHH over the barricade but a suplex brings him back to ringside. They get back inside with Orton slowly hammering away, including the backbreaker for two.

HHH fights out of the chinlock (eventually) but Orton knocks him right back down. The RKO is shoved off though and HHH scores with the jumping knee to the face. Back up and HHH hits a running clothesline to put Orton on the floor again, setting up a toss over the announcers’ table. HHH drops him onto the steps to make it even worse but Orton manages to counter the Pedigree back inside. An RKO out of nowhere gets two but the Punt, the RKO and the Pedigree all miss, setting up the Pedigree to make HHH champion again.

Rating: B-. This was weird, as the majority of the match was spent on HHH vs. Randy Orton, with Cena and JBL feeling like window dressing. That feels like a big shift over to a new feud and that might be more interesting than the three way or multi person feud. As for the match itself, the first part was quite entertaining but it got pretty dull once it got down to two, which has been the case for HHH vs. Orton over the years. The title change was a surprise though and that is kind of nice to see.

Overall Rating: B. It’s a rather unique show as you had good action and stuff did happen with some title changes, but it still didn’t exactly feel like a major event. What matters here is moving some things forward though, with the Wrestlemania rematch season wrapping up and hopefully getting us on to something else. It’s almost a hidden gem, as the action is worth seeing and nothing is too bad, but I’ll be hoping to remember this show in another day or two.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Smackdown
Date: April 25, 2008
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the go home show for Backlash and most of the show is set. We should be in for little more than a table setting show this week, as all WWE needs to do is hype up the pay per view a bit more. Undertaker isn’t going to be happy with Edge for helping to take out Kane on ECW, so vengeance may be required. For tonight though, he gets to defend the World Title against Batista. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Undertaker’s issues with Edge/Vickie Guerrero/La Familia, setting up tonight’s title match against Batista.

Opening sequence.

Here is La Familia to get things going. Edge praises Vickie Guerrero for everything she has done to get them here like the eye roll inducing villain that he is. Vickie announces that Undertaker vs. Batista is now No DQ, meaning they can beat each other up even more. Cue CM Punk to interrupt, with Edge mocking him for the King Of The Ring loss.

Punk holds up the Money In The Bank briefcase and says it’s a better way to the top than sleeping with the boss. He teases cashing in tonight, which doesn’t sit well with Edge. Not that it matters as Punk can beat Edge too, so Vickie makes the match for tonight. Edge promises to bankrupt Punk tonight. Good promo from Punk, as Edge seemed to remember the power of the briefcase.

The Miz vs. Shannon Moore

John Morrison is on commentary and Jimmy Wang Yang is here with Moore. Miz grabs a headlock takeover to start as Morrison goes on a rant about….saving the Earth? Anyway, Moore comes back with a headscissors but Miz pulls pulls him off the middle rope for a crash. A camel clutch keeps Moore in trouble and a hard clothesline takes him down again. The cobra clutch goes on but Moore fights up, only to get knocked right back down. The Reality Check is loaded up but Moore reverses into a backslide for the fast pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one as the feud between these teams continue, despite Miz and Morrison beating them multiple times already. I still like the Moore/Yang team, just for the sake of throwing two people together to see if they can get somewhere. If there was an actual tag division around here, it might make more of a difference, but this is about as much as you can expect right now.

We look at the Presidential candidates addressing Raw this week. Still a fairly cool moment.

Cherry vs. Natalya Neidhart

Michelle McCool and Victoria are here too. Natalya takes her down without much trouble to start and we’re in the chinlock fifteen seconds in. A series of slams drop Cherry again and Natalya slaps her in the face a few times. Cherry slaps back but Natalya goes to the leg to take over. A leglock has Cherry in trouble but she’s back up with a bulldog for two. That’s enough for Natalya, who grabs the Sharpshooter for the tap.

Rating: C-. Cherry is another of the long list of women who don’t exactly shine in the ring but since Deuce N Domino are nothing these days, what else is she supposed to do? Putting her in the ring as a punching bag works well enough for a short match, but she is going to need to be able to do more than slap and bulldog to matter much. Then again, it isn’t like the women’s wrestling on Smackdown matters in any meaningful way, so Cherry might not have many worries.

Video on Big Show vs. Great Khali.

Here is Matt Hardy for a chat with Michael Cole. We look at MVP injuring Matt’s knee five months ago but Matt says his knee is 100%. At Backlash, MVP is going to find out what kind of a threat Hardy is…but here is MVP to interrupt. MVP has Cole leave and accuses Matt of distorting the facts. Matt says MVP is scared but MVP isn’t having that. The reality is that he has accomplished more in a few months than Matt has in his entire career (that’s a stretch). MVP holds up the belt and then kicks Matt in the knee/hits him in the head with the belt, leaving Matt looking….I guess you could say confused?

WWE had a Reading Challenge for Wrestlemania. Nothing wrong with that.

Edge vs. CM Punk

Punk shoves Edge into the corner to start but Edge is right back with a hammerlock. That’s reversed into a cradle for one and Punk cranks on the arm as well. Back up and Edge kicks away at Punk’s ribs but Punk is right back on the arm. Punk goes up top but gets knocked out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Edge working on a bodyscissors until Punk catapults him into the corner. They hit stereo crossbodies for a double knockdown but Edge rolls through a middle rope crossbody for two. The GTS doesn’t work so Punk settles for the knee into the corner into the bulldog back out of it.

Edge’s Edge-O-Matic gets two more but Punk scores with the springboard clothesline. Another GTS attempt is countered into the Edgecution for two but Punk is back up for the GTS. Edge rolls outside before the cover though and Punk is frustrated. He’s also distracted by an interfering Zack Ryder, allowing Edge to hit a spear for the pin.

Rating: B-. These two were having the main event style match and it got some time to make it better. What matters more in the bigger picture though is having Punk not only rubbing elbows with but being a threat to beat main eventers. He is on the way up from ECW and into the bigger picture and having matches like this will help that transition more than anything else. They even made it clear that Edge was beaten and only survived due to the luck of falling out of the ring in a nice touch. Good match here, and it should help Punk in the long run.

We look at William Regal winning the King Of The Ring. William Regal looking mostly insane while sitting on the throne is a great visual.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Marty Garner

Kozlov easily takes him over with a headlock before headbutting Garner down with ease. The reverse DDT gives Kozlov the fast pin in another squash.

We look at Undertaker’s introduction of the triangle choke, which has been quite devastating.

Backlash rundown.

Batista goes to see Vickie Guerrero and promises to win the title back tonight. Then he’ll hurt Edge on Backlash.

We look at the Hilary Clinton vs. Barack Obama match on Raw, with Umaga saving us from what I’m assuming was Vince McMahon’s fever dream come to life.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is defending and this is No DQ. We get the Big Match Intros (the Big Gold Belt being held up as the prize is always cool) and Undertaker starts in on the arm. With that broken up, Undertaker is right back on the arm before Batista hits a spear. Undertaker is fine enough to go for the triangle choke before Batista can get up but the quick escape sends us to a break.

Back with Undertaker hitting the apron legdrop but Old School is broken up. Undertaker breaks up a superplex attempt and now Old School can connect. A quick spinebuster (or powerbomb according to Cole) gives Batista two but the Batista Bomb is countered with a backdrop. Batista blocks the chokeslam and a powerslam gets two more. Undertaker is back up with a chokeslam for two of his own but another spear cuts him down.

For some reason Batista rains down right hands in the corner, earning himself the Last Ride for another near fall. The steps are brought in (as I remember this is No DQ) but Batista spinebusters him onto said steps. The Batista Bomb is loaded up…and Shawn Michaels runs in with Sweet Chin Music to drop Batista. Undertaker Tombstones him for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. Mostly unnecessary stipulation aside, this did feel like an important match and that is always appreciated. These two have great chemistry together and they beat the fire out of each other until Shawn came in for the storyline advancing ending. Good main event here, as two monsters beating on each other for a long time is rather nice to see, especially on free TV.

Overall Rating: B-. The two big matches carried the show, especially with the first two shorter matches not exactly working. Backlash is feeling like a very top heavy show, but the three or so matches on top of the card should be more than enough to carry things. Good enough show here, and I’m wanting to see Backlash so we can call it a success too.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: April 22, 2008
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Adamle

It’s the final ECW before Backlash and there is a little twist on Chavo Guerrero challenging Kane for the ECW Title again. That would be the new monster bodyguard Bam Neely, who should make things a little more interesting. Other than that…well there is a grand total of nothing going on here, as tends to be the case. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Tommy Dreamer/Kelly Kelly vs. Mike Knox/Layla

The women start things off with Kelly blocking a ram into the corner and kicking Layla in the face. It’s off to Knox vs. Dreamer, with the former hitting a hard clothesline. A kick to the face gets Dreamer out of trouble though and it’s back to Kelly to beat up Layla. Everything breaks down and Kelly Rocker Droppers Layla for the fast pin.

Post match Knox drops Dreamer.

We look at the Presidential candidates addressing the fans last night.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. John Morrison

Shannon Moore and Miz (on commentary) are here too as they try to keep this long past its prime story going. Morrison hits a shoulder to start but gets clotheslined outside for his efforts. Back in and Morrison counters a leapfrog to take out the knee (that was clever) and Morrison goes after said knee. The knee is fine enough for a monkey flip but Morrison crotches him on top. Morrison misses the corkscrew moonsault though and it’s the moonsault press to finish for Yang in a big upset.

Raw Rebound.

Backlash rundown.

Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin

Kofi picks up the pace to start and hits a nice dropkick. Benjamin isn’t having that and plants him with a shoulder breaker, setting up the logical armbar. With that broken up, Kingston sends him to the apron before dropping Benjamin out of the air. Benjamin is right back with the Fujiwara armbar, followed by a heck of a running shoulder to put Kingston down. A kick to the head misses though and Kingston hits Trouble In Paradise for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. The ending felt like Kingston caught Benjamin making a mistake and that is how he should be beating a more experienced star. Benjamin dominated most of the match with Kingston just getting in a little offense here and there. That made Kingston’s win feel even better, and it was a good surprise over a more established opponent than usual.

Raw Rebound.

Mark Henry vs. Nunzio

Henry runs him over to start and sends Nunzio to the top, only to pull a dive out of the air. A powerslam finishes Nunzio fast.

Video on the European tour.

Here are Edge and the Edgeheads for the Cutting Edge. This week’s guest is Kane, with Edge saying the Brothers of Destruction might be the most dominant family in wrestling. Edge brings up Kane’s parents, with Kane saying they’re dead and offering to have Edge join them. That has Edge bringing up Kane’s rather complicated backstory and brings up how many times their paths have crossed. Kane even saved Edge from marrying Lita, allowing him to be with Vickie Guerrero! Kane: “You thank me for that?”

Edge talks about La Familia, but things have gone south since Undertaker and Kane took the family’s most prized possessions. Those things are coming back at Backlash, but Kane promises that he and Undertaker will destroy everyone. Then Vickie will be left all by herself (Edge shakes his head no), but don’t worry because Kane and Undertaker will take great care of her (…..what could that possibly mean?). The fight is on with the rest of La Familia coming in and holding Kane down so Chavo can crush his leg with a chair. This goes on for a bit to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was good to pretty good this week, but the big deal was the ending. WWE had to do something to add some spice to Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero and giving Chavo a bodyguard who helped hurt Kane’s knee is about as good as they are going to get. There wasn’t much here outside of the usual around here, which wasn’t exactly thrilling. They still need something more interesting for a top story, as Chavo just won’t go away already. It’ll do for now, but Backlash really needs to end the story.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

ECW On Sci Fi
Date: April 15, 2008
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Attendance: 17,422
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz, Mike Adamle

We’re over in England this week as the European tour is on. In this case, we have a special main event as the Brothers of Destruction are here. That alone should be enough to carry the show, as there is little to care about other than one or two stars. Maybe they have something else to help it out, because the show needs it. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a preview of the show, which in this case means Undertaker/Kane vs. Miz/John Morrison. Well that ups the star power.

Opening sequence.

Tazz tells us that this is Joey Styles’ last night on the show as he is going on to head up WWE.com. We meet the new play by play announcer: Mike Adamle. Oh boy.

CM Punk/Kofi Kingston/Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore vs. Elijah Burke/Deuce N Domino/Shelton Benjamin

Well it’s different. Domino and Punk start things off with Punk taking over. Moore comes in with a sunset flip and starts on the arm, as the good guys get to take their turns. Yang hits a dropkick and lands on Domino for two before it’s back to Punk. Benjamin comes in and gets kicked in the face as everything breaks down on the floor.

We take a break and come back with Burke missing an elbow to Punk, allowing Kofi to come in for an armbar. The rapid fire tags continue as it’s off to Moore to stay on the arm. Burke comes in and uppercuts Yang to take over, setting up the running crotch attack to the back of the head. Benjamin and Deuce put on a chinlock each before Domino drops a leg. A backdrop gets Yang out of trouble though and the hot tag brings in Kingston to clean house. Everything breaks down and Trouble In Paradise finishes Deuce (who had tagged in) for the win.

Rating: C+. This match got some time and picked up steam as it kept going. What mattered here was keeping Kingston strong as ECW is certainly protecting him. With Punk pretty clearly not long for the minor show, fresh talent is going to be needed. Kingston is getting better in his spot so maybe he could do some good in the future.

We look back at Chavo Guerrero and his lackeys beating up Kane, including his new bald enforcer.

Kane promises revenge on Chavo, but tonight it’s about the Brothers of Destruction.

And now, a Diva Dance Off, featuring Layla, Maryse, Eve, Lena Yada and Kelly Kelly. Tazz, the emcee, demonstrates a bit of dancing (or kind of jiggling in his case) before everyone gets to go. Shockingly Layla and Eve, the former professional dancers, blow everyone else away but Kelly, the only one to remove clothing, wins. Post contest, Kelly and Tazz dance together in a funny moment.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Mike Knox

Colin Delaney is here with Dreamer. Hold on though as here is Armando Estrada to change things up.

Colin Delaney vs. Mike Knox

Dreamer is sent to the back. Total destruction with Knox hitting a swinging Downward Spiral for the pin in about a minute.

Miz and John Morrison say they’re a real team while Undertaker and Kane are always fighting each other. Morrison is even willing to let Miz start the match!

Miz/John Morrison vs. Kane/Undertaker

Non-title. Kane shoulders Miz down to start and sends him shoulder first into the corner. Undertaker comes in to punch the shoulder, setting up Old School. Morrison breaks up the apron clothesline with a legdrop though and we take a break. Back with Morrison striking away at Undertaker in the corner, only to have Undertaker show him how it’s done.

Morrison gets struck in the face a few times, allowing Kane to come in with a side slam to Miz. A Morrison distraction lets Miz get in a chop block though and Morrison comes in to crank on the knee. Miz hammers away until an uppercut and big boot give Kane a breather. That’s enough for Undertaker to come in and really take over, including Snake Eyes into the big boot. Double chokeslams set up the Tombstone to finish Morrison.

Rating: C. This is a good example of “it was what it was” as Kane and Undertaker ended up decimating the champs in the end. Miz and Morrison got in a bit of offense on Kane but there is no way to buy this working when things evened up. It’s also no shame to lose to a pair of monsters with success of their own like Undertaker and Kane, so Miz and Morrison could have come out looking worse.

The Brothers posing with their titles is a great visual to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Pretty skippable show, but then again it felt like it was more for the live fans than anything else. ECW really needs to develop some new names and right now it seems to be Kane and Kofi Kingston leading the charge. Kane is fine, but Kofi has a long way to go but the potential is there. This week was more or less a spectacle though and it was an easy enough way to burn through about forty five minutes.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Smackdown
Date: April 11, 2008
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Gresham

We are on the road to Backlash and believe it or not, Edge is already getting his rematch after losing the World Title at Wrestlemania. Undertaker isn’t overly pleased and that rarely works out well for anyone else. Other than that, Batista isn’t happy with Raw’s Shawn Michaels, which almost has to be better than the last time he fought someone from Raw. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Great Khali is in the ring with a bunch of dancers and two shirtless guys. Apparently this is a Punjabi Peace Offering to Big Show. One of the men explains the concept and is about to quote Gandhi when Big Show comes out. Show isn’t interested as the ring clears, save for one of the men and the giants.

The offering is some sort of spiritual water, followed by a bottle of the world’s finest scotch. Show drinks it but cringes before being given….a black chicken so he will never be hungry? Finally Show is presented with a goat, so he will never be thirsty. Show says words can’t describe how he feels and he shakes Khali’s hand. Then the big right hand knocks Khali silly. That looked good.

John Morrison/The Miz vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

How many times are these teams going to fight? Non-title but we do see a clip of Miz and Morrison mocking Yang and Moore on the Dirt Sheet. Moore works on Morrison’s arm to start and Yang comes in with a dropkick for two. It’s off to Miz, who can’t get a belly to back suplex, as Yang kicks him in the face instead. Moore comes back in but gets sent throat first into the middle rope to cut him off. The slingshot elbow hits Moore and Morrison grabs the armbar.

Morrison stomps away as commentary questions Miz and Morrison’s ethical standards. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Moore’s back, which is enough to set up the comeback. Moore gets over for the tag to Yang so the pace can pick way up. The missile dropkick puts Morrison down for two but he’s back up with a kick to the face of his own for two of his own. A blind tag brings Miz back in though and a jumping neckbreaker finishes Yang.

Rating: C+. These teams work well together and it’s a shame that Moore and Yang didn’t get more of a chance. That’s one of the flaws with having a division that is about two teams at most and there just wasn’t room for a makeshift pairing. Miz and Morrison continue to roll though and I’m not sure who could take the titles anytime soon.

Teddy Long watches Edge and Vickie Guerrero get a couples massage. They’re both been so stressed out and Edge is so happy to be here instead of being at the arena.

Finlay vs. Matt Striker

Hornswoggle is here with Finlay and goes underneath the ring at the bell. They grapple against the ropes to start, where Hornswoggle sprays Striker with a water gun. The annoyed Striker kicks Finlay down and starts in on the arm. Finlay fight sup for the Regal Roll, setting up a catapult into the corner. Striker ties him up on the apron and hammers away, as he is known to do. Coach: “I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone use the apron like that.” Cole: “Then you haven’t been watching Smackdown because Finlay does it every match.” Point to Cole.

Now it’s Hornswoggle with a bucket of confetti (Striker: “Get out of here Sky Low Low!”) but it doesn’t work so well. Another bucket, this one of water, works better but Striker avoids a charge into the post. Hornswoggle’s shot with an inflatable hammer (called a shillelagh but it looked like a hammer) just annoys Striker, who is distracted enough for the real shillelagh shot to knock him cold for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t exactly there for the back and forth action, with the commentary being the best part. This was much more about having Finlay get back on track after his Wrestlemania loss and he got as much as he could out of beating Striker. It was a nothing match as expected, but Cole burning Coach was funny.

Post match Hornswoggle hits the Tadpole Splash.

Victoria vs. Michelle McCool

Before the match, Victoria introduces us to her new best friend: Natalya Neidhart, so we get a look at Natalya’s father Jim. Natalya says it’s about her and “When you mess with the best, you go down with the rest. Yeah baby.” With that thankfully out of the way, Michelle takes Victoria down and starts hammering away. A basement dropkick sends Victoria outside but she’s right back in with a hard clothesline. Victoria grabs a superplex for two but McCool fights back up. Natalya gets in a jacket shot though and Victoria grabs a rollup, with tights, for the win. Bad ending aside, that was a better women’s match than usual for Smackdown.

Michael Cole is in the ring and talks about how personal the issue between Shawn Michaels and Batista has become. We get a recap of their troubles, which stems from Michaels retiring Flair. Since the wrestling world can’t exist without Flair, Batista is mad at Shawn for not letting Flair win. That’s not what Flair wanted but Batista just wants Flair around (they make it sound like he’s dead). Here are Batista and Shawn to go face to face, with Shawn saying everyone, including Flair, has moved on. Well, except Batista that is, which has Shawn thinking.

Batista’s problem isn’t with Flair, but with Shawn himself. That’s true, and what Shawn did at Wrestlemania opened Batista’s eyes. The blood on Shawn’s hands isn’t getting washed out and Batista doesn’t like how Shawn got to the top. Batista was up front, which Shawn says is a luxury he had at 6’5, 280lbs. Shawn couldn’t do that and yes he did take shortcuts when he had to. He’ll knock Batista’s teeth down his throat at Backlash but for now he has to escape the Batista Bomb. The match will be good but Batista acting like the world is ending because Flair is gone is still a lot to take.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Matt Logan

Kozlov tosses him around and finishes with the reverse DDT in less than a minute. Total destruction.

Back to the spa, where Edge and Vickie have face masks on, complete with cucumbers over their eyes. Teddy Long brings them their drinks and has to take the cucumbers away. They’re even getting matching pedicures! Teddy’s disgusted look is great.

Matt Hardy vs. Chuck Palumbo

MVP is on commentary. As MVP calls out Coach and Cole for being ranked the worst commentary team of all time (with Cole no selling it), Matt reverses a headlock into a hammerlock. With that broken up, Palumbo kicks him in the back and cranks on the neck. Matt fights up and enziguris his way to freedom and they both crash out to the floor. That of course means an MVP distraction so Palumbo can jump Matt from behind and take over.

We take a break and come back with Matt fighting out of another neck crank. Palumbo suplexes him down and grabs a third neck crank, followed by a fourth because Palumbo seems a bit limited in the ring. Another comeback lets Matt grab a Side Effect to take over and Palumbo’s missed charge goes into the post. There’s the middle rope elbow to the back of the head but Palumbo plants Hardy for two. Not that it matters as the Twist of Fate finishes Palumbo off.

Rating: C. Palumbo’s usefulness continues to be putting others over as angry biker only has so much of a shelf life. Hardy is on a bit of a roll and is getting somewhere on the way to his US Title shot against MVP. Taking the title is going to be a bit easier said than done, but at least we are FINALLY getting to that point.

Post match MVP poses at Hardy and walks off.

Jesse and Festus are nervous about the latter’s match against Undertaker tonight.

Backlash rundown.

Undertaker vs. Festus

Non-title and Jesse is here with Festus. Undertaker starts fast with a big boot before going after the arm, including Old School. Festus manages a powerslam for two and hammers away in the corner. Another boot to the face and a clothesline give Undertaker two and they fight to the floor. Festus rams him into the barricade a few times and they head inside, where Festus’ right hands send Undertaker outside again.

Undertaker isn’t having that and sends him into the steps, setting up another kick to the head. Back in and Undertaker hits the running DDT and starts hammering away in the corner. They slug it out until Undertaker has to escape a fireman’s carry and grabs the chokeslam for two. Festus fights up and slugs away but the referee gets bumped. With the referee down, Undertaker grabs the triangle choke and, after a good while, the referee comes back in to say Festus is out.

Rating: C+. Undertaker gave Festus a lot more than I would have expected here, as Festus got to beat Undertaker up for a few minutes. The ending was a good way to make Undertaker’s choke feel dangerous, which is quite the upgrade for someone who is already such a monster. Festus showed something here though, and that is how unnecessary Jesse is to his success.

Post match Jesse runs in and breaks it up to protect Festus. Undertaker looks down at them and doesn’t appear happy before posing to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They kept this show moving despite very little actually happening. Undertaker being in the ring always feels like something special, even if he was facing someone like Festus. Other than that, Backlash is pretty much set and now we need to just get to the show in a few weeks. Some of the stories still need some more polish though and we could be getting some of that until we get to the pay per view. Not a great show here, but it held things in place well enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Smackdown
Date: April 4, 2008
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole

It’s the first show after Wrestlemania and the big story is the Undertaker defeating Edge in the show’s main event to get the World Title back. You can all but guarantee that won’t be it between the two, as a match like that is primed for rematches. Other than that, we might be seeing some new stars around here, which tends to be the case after Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is La Familia to get things going and none of them look happy. Edge has never been so upset as he felt he left everyone down. Most of all, he feels like he let Vickie Guerrero down but swears on their love that he will get the World Title back. Chavo Guerrero feels like he let La Familia down and says Kane cheated to beat him at Wrestlemania. Vickie, after a rather mild “excuse me”, says Edge and Chavo will get their next title matches at Backlash. As for tonight, their opponents can face each other, as it’s Kane vs. Undertaker.

Matt Hardy vs. MVP

Non-title as the battle rages on. MVP drives him into the corner to start and fires off the shoulders to the ribs. A neckbreaker gets Matt out of trouble and they fight to the floor as Cole recaps this rather long feud. Back in and Matt drops an elbow for two and a clothesline has MVP outside again.

That doesn’t last long this time either as MVP hangs Matt over the ropes for something like a Nightmare On Helm Street to take over. MVP sends him outside in another heap and Matt goes into the announcers’ table to make it worse. We hit the reverse chinlock back inside before MVP goes simple by stomping on Matt’s face.

Back up and Matt goes after the knee (feels like some poetic justice), including wrapping it around the rope in the corner. More cranking ensues on the mat, followed by the Side Effect. The Twist of Fate is broken up but MVP’s knee is too banged up to try the running boot in the corner. Now the Twist of Fate can finish MVP off.

Rating: B-. This was a slower paced match than the two usually have but they both have the skills to have a quality match like this one. MVP almost has to lose the title to Hardy sooner than later as that is entirely the point of picking this feud up after such a long hiatus. Granted it won’t mean as much due to MVP’s consistent losing, but at least they are tying up the loose end.

Festus vs. Zack Ryder

Jesse and Curt Hawkins are here too. Before the match, Hawkins and Ryder didn’t have many nice things to say about Festus. The bell rings so Festus beats both of them up on the floor without much trouble. Back in and Festus beats on him in the corner as commentary talks about Snoop Dogg at Wrestlemania. A bunch of headbutts keep Ryder down but he manages some forearms to the face. The fall away slam sends Ryder flying though and a running knee makes it even worse. Festus grabs the fireman’s carry flapjack for the pin.

Rating: C. This was little more than a squash but Festus can do the power stuff well enough to make it entertaining. If nothing else the flapjack looks like something that could wipe someone out, which is not something every finisher manages to accomplish. I’m a bit surprised that Ryder lost to someone who is little more than half of a comedy team, but maybe the reheating is upon us.

Long video on Ric Flair losing to force his retirement, plus his farewell.

Here is Shawn Michaels to address what he did to Ric Flair. Shawn talks about being face to face with Flair on Raw and feeling his eyes well up with tears. Cue Batista to interrupt though and he isn’t looking happy. Batista says that he isn’t over what happened to Flair yet, because he won’t get to see his friend wrestle again. Shawn says it killed him too but Batista doesn’t want to hear it.

Shawn talks about how Flair wanted his best and Batista would have done it too. Batista says not so fast and says that while Shawn had a job to do, Shawn doesn’t do jobs. If Shawn had laid down JUST ONCE, Flair would still be here. Because Shawn wouldn’t do the right thing, Batista will never ride with his best friend again. Does Shawn really see Flair as Old Yeller? Like some sick old dog? Batista walks away, still making it sound like Flair died.

Undertaker and Kane meet in the back but don’t say anything.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Matt Bentley

Bentley is an OVW mainstay while the debuting Kozlov comes to the ring to no music for a bit of an eerie vibe. Kozlov flips him over to start before firing off some kicks. The boot choke in the corner sets up a headbutt to the chest and a torture rack drop finishes Bentley fast. Total squash and impressive enough while it lasted.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

Non-title. Miz drives Yang into the corner to start but misses a clothesline. Moore comes in with a dropkick for one but it’s off to Morrison as there are a disturbing amount of empty seats opposite the hard camera. Morrison finishes fast with the flipping neckbreaker.

Post match Great Khali comes out to wreck everyone. Cue Big Show to say he is getting in Khali’s face instead, with Khali leaving again.

Here are Teddy Long and the owners of Beverly Hills Choppers to announce the winner of the Divas contest. Michelle McCool wins but here is Victoria to interrupt. Victoria says the contest was fixed and the brawl is on, but a mystery woman jumps Michelle from behind. Said mystery woman also knocks Cherry (here for the finals) down as well and leaves with Victoria. No name is given but you might know her better by her name in OVW: Nattie Neidhart.

Long Wrestlemania video.

Kane vs. Undertaker

Non-title. They shove each other around to start so Undertaker goes after the arm. Some arm cranking has Kane down until he powers out, only to have Undertaker take out the leg instead. With that not working, Undertaker switches back to the arm as Coach says they aren’t going as hard as usual due to not wanting to hurt each other.

Kane backs him into the corner for some shots to the face as the pace picks up fast. The slugout actually goes to Kane, who drops him with a big boot. The right hands in the corner just wake Undertaker up and the brawl heads to the floor. Back in and they fight over a chokeslam attempt until stereo big boots put them both down. They both sit up but here is La Familia to jump both of them for the double DQ.

Rating: C. This was little more than a way to have a big main event without having either champion lose. The match was barely a thing as they spent about half of it in slow motion, which did kind of make sense for the story they were telling. Thankfully they didn’t have either of them lose, so they were thinking here, even if the stakes were nonexistent.

Post match Undertaker and Kane fight back, including double chokeslams and Tombstones, to clear the ring and end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. They kept the pace going here and had a few debuts to go with the next steps in the big stories. Other than Batista’s weird way of talking about Ric Flair being gone, there wasn’t much that didn’t work here. While nothing was through the roof, it was a show that felt like it came in with momentum and then moved towards Backlash. Good, efficient show here and a great breath of air after the last few weeks.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.