ECW On Sci Fi
Date: April 22, 2008
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Adamle

It’s the final ECW before Backlash and there is a little twist on Chavo Guerrero challenging Kane for the ECW Title again. That would be the new monster bodyguard Bam Neely, who should make things a little more interesting. Other than that…well there is a grand total of nothing going on here, as tends to be the case. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Tommy Dreamer/Kelly Kelly vs. Mike Knox/Layla

The women start things off with Kelly blocking a ram into the corner and kicking Layla in the face. It’s off to Knox vs. Dreamer, with the former hitting a hard clothesline. A kick to the face gets Dreamer out of trouble though and it’s back to Kelly to beat up Layla. Everything breaks down and Kelly Rocker Droppers Layla for the fast pin.

Post match Knox drops Dreamer.

We look at the Presidential candidates addressing the fans last night.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. John Morrison

Shannon Moore and Miz (on commentary) are here too as they try to keep this long past its prime story going. Morrison hits a shoulder to start but gets clotheslined outside for his efforts. Back in and Morrison counters a leapfrog to take out the knee (that was clever) and Morrison goes after said knee. The knee is fine enough for a monkey flip but Morrison crotches him on top. Morrison misses the corkscrew moonsault though and it’s the moonsault press to finish for Yang in a big upset.

Raw Rebound.

Backlash rundown.

Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin

Kofi picks up the pace to start and hits a nice dropkick. Benjamin isn’t having that and plants him with a shoulder breaker, setting up the logical armbar. With that broken up, Kingston sends him to the apron before dropping Benjamin out of the air. Benjamin is right back with the Fujiwara armbar, followed by a heck of a running shoulder to put Kingston down. A kick to the head misses though and Kingston hits Trouble In Paradise for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. The ending felt like Kingston caught Benjamin making a mistake and that is how he should be beating a more experienced star. Benjamin dominated most of the match with Kingston just getting in a little offense here and there. That made Kingston’s win feel even better, and it was a good surprise over a more established opponent than usual.

Raw Rebound.

Mark Henry vs. Nunzio

Henry runs him over to start and sends Nunzio to the top, only to pull a dive out of the air. A powerslam finishes Nunzio fast.

Video on the European tour.

Here are Edge and the Edgeheads for the Cutting Edge. This week’s guest is Kane, with Edge saying the Brothers of Destruction might be the most dominant family in wrestling. Edge brings up Kane’s parents, with Kane saying they’re dead and offering to have Edge join them. That has Edge bringing up Kane’s rather complicated backstory and brings up how many times their paths have crossed. Kane even saved Edge from marrying Lita, allowing him to be with Vickie Guerrero! Kane: “You thank me for that?”

Edge talks about La Familia, but things have gone south since Undertaker and Kane took the family’s most prized possessions. Those things are coming back at Backlash, but Kane promises that he and Undertaker will destroy everyone. Then Vickie will be left all by herself (Edge shakes his head no), but don’t worry because Kane and Undertaker will take great care of her (…..what could that possibly mean?). The fight is on with the rest of La Familia coming in and holding Kane down so Chavo can crush his leg with a chair. This goes on for a bit to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was good to pretty good this week, but the big deal was the ending. WWE had to do something to add some spice to Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero and giving Chavo a bodyguard who helped hurt Kane’s knee is about as good as they are going to get. There wasn’t much here outside of the usual around here, which wasn’t exactly thrilling. They still need something more interesting for a top story, as Chavo just won’t go away already. It’ll do for now, but Backlash really needs to end the story.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: April 15, 2008
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Attendance: 17,422
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz, Mike Adamle

We’re over in England this week as the European tour is on. In this case, we have a special main event as the Brothers of Destruction are here. That alone should be enough to carry the show, as there is little to care about other than one or two stars. Maybe they have something else to help it out, because the show needs it. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a preview of the show, which in this case means Undertaker/Kane vs. Miz/John Morrison. Well that ups the star power.

Opening sequence.

Tazz tells us that this is Joey Styles’ last night on the show as he is going on to head up WWE.com. We meet the new play by play announcer: Mike Adamle. Oh boy.

CM Punk/Kofi Kingston/Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore vs. Elijah Burke/Deuce N Domino/Shelton Benjamin

Well it’s different. Domino and Punk start things off with Punk taking over. Moore comes in with a sunset flip and starts on the arm, as the good guys get to take their turns. Yang hits a dropkick and lands on Domino for two before it’s back to Punk. Benjamin comes in and gets kicked in the face as everything breaks down on the floor.

We take a break and come back with Burke missing an elbow to Punk, allowing Kofi to come in for an armbar. The rapid fire tags continue as it’s off to Moore to stay on the arm. Burke comes in and uppercuts Yang to take over, setting up the running crotch attack to the back of the head. Benjamin and Deuce put on a chinlock each before Domino drops a leg. A backdrop gets Yang out of trouble though and the hot tag brings in Kingston to clean house. Everything breaks down and Trouble In Paradise finishes Deuce (who had tagged in) for the win.

Rating: C+. This match got some time and picked up steam as it kept going. What mattered here was keeping Kingston strong as ECW is certainly protecting him. With Punk pretty clearly not long for the minor show, fresh talent is going to be needed. Kingston is getting better in his spot so maybe he could do some good in the future.

We look back at Chavo Guerrero and his lackeys beating up Kane, including his new bald enforcer.

Kane promises revenge on Chavo, but tonight it’s about the Brothers of Destruction.

And now, a Diva Dance Off, featuring Layla, Maryse, Eve, Lena Yada and Kelly Kelly. Tazz, the emcee, demonstrates a bit of dancing (or kind of jiggling in his case) before everyone gets to go. Shockingly Layla and Eve, the former professional dancers, blow everyone else away but Kelly, the only one to remove clothing, wins. Post contest, Kelly and Tazz dance together in a funny moment.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Mike Knox

Colin Delaney is here with Dreamer. Hold on though as here is Armando Estrada to change things up.

Colin Delaney vs. Mike Knox

Dreamer is sent to the back. Total destruction with Knox hitting a swinging Downward Spiral for the pin in about a minute.

Miz and John Morrison say they’re a real team while Undertaker and Kane are always fighting each other. Morrison is even willing to let Miz start the match!

Miz/John Morrison vs. Kane/Undertaker

Non-title. Kane shoulders Miz down to start and sends him shoulder first into the corner. Undertaker comes in to punch the shoulder, setting up Old School. Morrison breaks up the apron clothesline with a legdrop though and we take a break. Back with Morrison striking away at Undertaker in the corner, only to have Undertaker show him how it’s done.

Morrison gets struck in the face a few times, allowing Kane to come in with a side slam to Miz. A Morrison distraction lets Miz get in a chop block though and Morrison comes in to crank on the knee. Miz hammers away until an uppercut and big boot give Kane a breather. That’s enough for Undertaker to come in and really take over, including Snake Eyes into the big boot. Double chokeslams set up the Tombstone to finish Morrison.

Rating: C. This is a good example of “it was what it was” as Kane and Undertaker ended up decimating the champs in the end. Miz and Morrison got in a bit of offense on Kane but there is no way to buy this working when things evened up. It’s also no shame to lose to a pair of monsters with success of their own like Undertaker and Kane, so Miz and Morrison could have come out looking worse.

The Brothers posing with their titles is a great visual to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Pretty skippable show, but then again it felt like it was more for the live fans than anything else. ECW really needs to develop some new names and right now it seems to be Kane and Kofi Kingston leading the charge. Kane is fine, but Kofi has a long way to go but the potential is there. This week was more or less a spectacle though and it was an easy enough way to burn through about forty five minutes.

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Smackdown
Date: April 11, 2008
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Gresham

We are on the road to Backlash and believe it or not, Edge is already getting his rematch after losing the World Title at Wrestlemania. Undertaker isn’t overly pleased and that rarely works out well for anyone else. Other than that, Batista isn’t happy with Raw’s Shawn Michaels, which almost has to be better than the last time he fought someone from Raw. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Great Khali is in the ring with a bunch of dancers and two shirtless guys. Apparently this is a Punjabi Peace Offering to Big Show. One of the men explains the concept and is about to quote Gandhi when Big Show comes out. Show isn’t interested as the ring clears, save for one of the men and the giants.

The offering is some sort of spiritual water, followed by a bottle of the world’s finest scotch. Show drinks it but cringes before being given….a black chicken so he will never be hungry? Finally Show is presented with a goat, so he will never be thirsty. Show says words can’t describe how he feels and he shakes Khali’s hand. Then the big right hand knocks Khali silly. That looked good.

John Morrison/The Miz vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

How many times are these teams going to fight? Non-title but we do see a clip of Miz and Morrison mocking Yang and Moore on the Dirt Sheet. Moore works on Morrison’s arm to start and Yang comes in with a dropkick for two. It’s off to Miz, who can’t get a belly to back suplex, as Yang kicks him in the face instead. Moore comes back in but gets sent throat first into the middle rope to cut him off. The slingshot elbow hits Moore and Morrison grabs the armbar.

Morrison stomps away as commentary questions Miz and Morrison’s ethical standards. We hit the chinlock with a knee in Moore’s back, which is enough to set up the comeback. Moore gets over for the tag to Yang so the pace can pick way up. The missile dropkick puts Morrison down for two but he’s back up with a kick to the face of his own for two of his own. A blind tag brings Miz back in though and a jumping neckbreaker finishes Yang.

Rating: C+. These teams work well together and it’s a shame that Moore and Yang didn’t get more of a chance. That’s one of the flaws with having a division that is about two teams at most and there just wasn’t room for a makeshift pairing. Miz and Morrison continue to roll though and I’m not sure who could take the titles anytime soon.

Teddy Long watches Edge and Vickie Guerrero get a couples massage. They’re both been so stressed out and Edge is so happy to be here instead of being at the arena.

Finlay vs. Matt Striker

Hornswoggle is here with Finlay and goes underneath the ring at the bell. They grapple against the ropes to start, where Hornswoggle sprays Striker with a water gun. The annoyed Striker kicks Finlay down and starts in on the arm. Finlay fight sup for the Regal Roll, setting up a catapult into the corner. Striker ties him up on the apron and hammers away, as he is known to do. Coach: “I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone use the apron like that.” Cole: “Then you haven’t been watching Smackdown because Finlay does it every match.” Point to Cole.

Now it’s Hornswoggle with a bucket of confetti (Striker: “Get out of here Sky Low Low!”) but it doesn’t work so well. Another bucket, this one of water, works better but Striker avoids a charge into the post. Hornswoggle’s shot with an inflatable hammer (called a shillelagh but it looked like a hammer) just annoys Striker, who is distracted enough for the real shillelagh shot to knock him cold for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t exactly there for the back and forth action, with the commentary being the best part. This was much more about having Finlay get back on track after his Wrestlemania loss and he got as much as he could out of beating Striker. It was a nothing match as expected, but Cole burning Coach was funny.

Post match Hornswoggle hits the Tadpole Splash.

Victoria vs. Michelle McCool

Before the match, Victoria introduces us to her new best friend: Natalya Neidhart, so we get a look at Natalya’s father Jim. Natalya says it’s about her and “When you mess with the best, you go down with the rest. Yeah baby.” With that thankfully out of the way, Michelle takes Victoria down and starts hammering away. A basement dropkick sends Victoria outside but she’s right back in with a hard clothesline. Victoria grabs a superplex for two but McCool fights back up. Natalya gets in a jacket shot though and Victoria grabs a rollup, with tights, for the win. Bad ending aside, that was a better women’s match than usual for Smackdown.

Michael Cole is in the ring and talks about how personal the issue between Shawn Michaels and Batista has become. We get a recap of their troubles, which stems from Michaels retiring Flair. Since the wrestling world can’t exist without Flair, Batista is mad at Shawn for not letting Flair win. That’s not what Flair wanted but Batista just wants Flair around (they make it sound like he’s dead). Here are Batista and Shawn to go face to face, with Shawn saying everyone, including Flair, has moved on. Well, except Batista that is, which has Shawn thinking.

Batista’s problem isn’t with Flair, but with Shawn himself. That’s true, and what Shawn did at Wrestlemania opened Batista’s eyes. The blood on Shawn’s hands isn’t getting washed out and Batista doesn’t like how Shawn got to the top. Batista was up front, which Shawn says is a luxury he had at 6’5, 280lbs. Shawn couldn’t do that and yes he did take shortcuts when he had to. He’ll knock Batista’s teeth down his throat at Backlash but for now he has to escape the Batista Bomb. The match will be good but Batista acting like the world is ending because Flair is gone is still a lot to take.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Matt Logan

Kozlov tosses him around and finishes with the reverse DDT in less than a minute. Total destruction.

Back to the spa, where Edge and Vickie have face masks on, complete with cucumbers over their eyes. Teddy Long brings them their drinks and has to take the cucumbers away. They’re even getting matching pedicures! Teddy’s disgusted look is great.

Matt Hardy vs. Chuck Palumbo

MVP is on commentary. As MVP calls out Coach and Cole for being ranked the worst commentary team of all time (with Cole no selling it), Matt reverses a headlock into a hammerlock. With that broken up, Palumbo kicks him in the back and cranks on the neck. Matt fights up and enziguris his way to freedom and they both crash out to the floor. That of course means an MVP distraction so Palumbo can jump Matt from behind and take over.

We take a break and come back with Matt fighting out of another neck crank. Palumbo suplexes him down and grabs a third neck crank, followed by a fourth because Palumbo seems a bit limited in the ring. Another comeback lets Matt grab a Side Effect to take over and Palumbo’s missed charge goes into the post. There’s the middle rope elbow to the back of the head but Palumbo plants Hardy for two. Not that it matters as the Twist of Fate finishes Palumbo off.

Rating: C. Palumbo’s usefulness continues to be putting others over as angry biker only has so much of a shelf life. Hardy is on a bit of a roll and is getting somewhere on the way to his US Title shot against MVP. Taking the title is going to be a bit easier said than done, but at least we are FINALLY getting to that point.

Post match MVP poses at Hardy and walks off.

Jesse and Festus are nervous about the latter’s match against Undertaker tonight.

Backlash rundown.

Undertaker vs. Festus

Non-title and Jesse is here with Festus. Undertaker starts fast with a big boot before going after the arm, including Old School. Festus manages a powerslam for two and hammers away in the corner. Another boot to the face and a clothesline give Undertaker two and they fight to the floor. Festus rams him into the barricade a few times and they head inside, where Festus’ right hands send Undertaker outside again.

Undertaker isn’t having that and sends him into the steps, setting up another kick to the head. Back in and Undertaker hits the running DDT and starts hammering away in the corner. They slug it out until Undertaker has to escape a fireman’s carry and grabs the chokeslam for two. Festus fights up and slugs away but the referee gets bumped. With the referee down, Undertaker grabs the triangle choke and, after a good while, the referee comes back in to say Festus is out.

Rating: C+. Undertaker gave Festus a lot more than I would have expected here, as Festus got to beat Undertaker up for a few minutes. The ending was a good way to make Undertaker’s choke feel dangerous, which is quite the upgrade for someone who is already such a monster. Festus showed something here though, and that is how unnecessary Jesse is to his success.

Post match Jesse runs in and breaks it up to protect Festus. Undertaker looks down at them and doesn’t appear happy before posing to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. They kept this show moving despite very little actually happening. Undertaker being in the ring always feels like something special, even if he was facing someone like Festus. Other than that, Backlash is pretty much set and now we need to just get to the show in a few weeks. Some of the stories still need some more polish though and we could be getting some of that until we get to the pay per view. Not a great show here, but it held things in place well enough.

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Smackdown
Date: April 4, 2008
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole

It’s the first show after Wrestlemania and the big story is the Undertaker defeating Edge in the show’s main event to get the World Title back. You can all but guarantee that won’t be it between the two, as a match like that is primed for rematches. Other than that, we might be seeing some new stars around here, which tends to be the case after Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is La Familia to get things going and none of them look happy. Edge has never been so upset as he felt he left everyone down. Most of all, he feels like he let Vickie Guerrero down but swears on their love that he will get the World Title back. Chavo Guerrero feels like he let La Familia down and says Kane cheated to beat him at Wrestlemania. Vickie, after a rather mild “excuse me”, says Edge and Chavo will get their next title matches at Backlash. As for tonight, their opponents can face each other, as it’s Kane vs. Undertaker.

Matt Hardy vs. MVP

Non-title as the battle rages on. MVP drives him into the corner to start and fires off the shoulders to the ribs. A neckbreaker gets Matt out of trouble and they fight to the floor as Cole recaps this rather long feud. Back in and Matt drops an elbow for two and a clothesline has MVP outside again.

That doesn’t last long this time either as MVP hangs Matt over the ropes for something like a Nightmare On Helm Street to take over. MVP sends him outside in another heap and Matt goes into the announcers’ table to make it worse. We hit the reverse chinlock back inside before MVP goes simple by stomping on Matt’s face.

Back up and Matt goes after the knee (feels like some poetic justice), including wrapping it around the rope in the corner. More cranking ensues on the mat, followed by the Side Effect. The Twist of Fate is broken up but MVP’s knee is too banged up to try the running boot in the corner. Now the Twist of Fate can finish MVP off.

Rating: B-. This was a slower paced match than the two usually have but they both have the skills to have a quality match like this one. MVP almost has to lose the title to Hardy sooner than later as that is entirely the point of picking this feud up after such a long hiatus. Granted it won’t mean as much due to MVP’s consistent losing, but at least they are tying up the loose end.

Festus vs. Zack Ryder

Jesse and Curt Hawkins are here too. Before the match, Hawkins and Ryder didn’t have many nice things to say about Festus. The bell rings so Festus beats both of them up on the floor without much trouble. Back in and Festus beats on him in the corner as commentary talks about Snoop Dogg at Wrestlemania. A bunch of headbutts keep Ryder down but he manages some forearms to the face. The fall away slam sends Ryder flying though and a running knee makes it even worse. Festus grabs the fireman’s carry flapjack for the pin.

Rating: C. This was little more than a squash but Festus can do the power stuff well enough to make it entertaining. If nothing else the flapjack looks like something that could wipe someone out, which is not something every finisher manages to accomplish. I’m a bit surprised that Ryder lost to someone who is little more than half of a comedy team, but maybe the reheating is upon us.

Long video on Ric Flair losing to force his retirement, plus his farewell.

Here is Shawn Michaels to address what he did to Ric Flair. Shawn talks about being face to face with Flair on Raw and feeling his eyes well up with tears. Cue Batista to interrupt though and he isn’t looking happy. Batista says that he isn’t over what happened to Flair yet, because he won’t get to see his friend wrestle again. Shawn says it killed him too but Batista doesn’t want to hear it.

Shawn talks about how Flair wanted his best and Batista would have done it too. Batista says not so fast and says that while Shawn had a job to do, Shawn doesn’t do jobs. If Shawn had laid down JUST ONCE, Flair would still be here. Because Shawn wouldn’t do the right thing, Batista will never ride with his best friend again. Does Shawn really see Flair as Old Yeller? Like some sick old dog? Batista walks away, still making it sound like Flair died.

Undertaker and Kane meet in the back but don’t say anything.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Matt Bentley

Bentley is an OVW mainstay while the debuting Kozlov comes to the ring to no music for a bit of an eerie vibe. Kozlov flips him over to start before firing off some kicks. The boot choke in the corner sets up a headbutt to the chest and a torture rack drop finishes Bentley fast. Total squash and impressive enough while it lasted.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

Non-title. Miz drives Yang into the corner to start but misses a clothesline. Moore comes in with a dropkick for one but it’s off to Morrison as there are a disturbing amount of empty seats opposite the hard camera. Morrison finishes fast with the flipping neckbreaker.

Post match Great Khali comes out to wreck everyone. Cue Big Show to say he is getting in Khali’s face instead, with Khali leaving again.

Here are Teddy Long and the owners of Beverly Hills Choppers to announce the winner of the Divas contest. Michelle McCool wins but here is Victoria to interrupt. Victoria says the contest was fixed and the brawl is on, but a mystery woman jumps Michelle from behind. Said mystery woman also knocks Cherry (here for the finals) down as well and leaves with Victoria. No name is given but you might know her better by her name in OVW: Nattie Neidhart.

Long Wrestlemania video.

Kane vs. Undertaker

Non-title. They shove each other around to start so Undertaker goes after the arm. Some arm cranking has Kane down until he powers out, only to have Undertaker take out the leg instead. With that not working, Undertaker switches back to the arm as Coach says they aren’t going as hard as usual due to not wanting to hurt each other.

Kane backs him into the corner for some shots to the face as the pace picks up fast. The slugout actually goes to Kane, who drops him with a big boot. The right hands in the corner just wake Undertaker up and the brawl heads to the floor. Back in and they fight over a chokeslam attempt until stereo big boots put them both down. They both sit up but here is La Familia to jump both of them for the double DQ.

Rating: C. This was little more than a way to have a big main event without having either champion lose. The match was barely a thing as they spent about half of it in slow motion, which did kind of make sense for the story they were telling. Thankfully they didn’t have either of them lose, so they were thinking here, even if the stakes were nonexistent.

Post match Undertaker and Kane fight back, including double chokeslams and Tombstones, to clear the ring and end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. They kept the pace going here and had a few debuts to go with the next steps in the big stories. Other than Batista’s weird way of talking about Ric Flair being gone, there wasn’t much that didn’t work here. While nothing was through the roof, it was a show that felt like it came in with momentum and then moved towards Backlash. Good, efficient show here and a great breath of air after the last few weeks.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: March 25, 2008
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s the final ECW before Wrestlemania and that means pretty much nothing around here. There is no title match set for Wrestlemania as it is going to be all about the battle royal. I’m not sure what that is going to leave us to do on this show but maybe they have one more week of nothing before things, at least hopefully, reset next week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes/Kofi Kingston/Kane/Tommy Dreamer/Jesse & Festus/Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore/Jim Duggan/Val Venis/Jamie Noble vs. Great Khali/Miz/Chuck Palumbo/Matt Striker/Mark Henry/Snitsky/Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Brian Kendrick/Deuce N Domino/Elijah Burke

Because THIS is a good idea. This is all twenty four entrants into the battle royal thrown into a tag match, which makes me wonder how many people the aprons can hold. Cody rolls Kendrick up for a fast two and then backslides him for the same. It’s quickly off to Noble vs. Palumbo, with the latter grabbing a belly to back suplex.

Yang comes in off some of that Jung Dragons chemistry but gets suplexed for his efforts. A middle rope hurricanrana gets Yang out of trouble and it’s time for a parade of dives. We take a break and come back with everything breaking down, as you might have expected. Kofi dives onto Deuce N Domino and Holly gets to hit an Alabama Slam. Khali and Kane have finally had enough of this and start wrecking people. With the two of them down, Henry feeds Dreamer into a big boot from Snitsky for the pin.

Rating: C. This is one of those matches that isn’t about the action itself but rather telling you what you might be seeing on Sunday. In that sense it worked out well enough, but my goodness the battle royal might as well have about three people. Chavo almost has to lose at this point as there is just nothing to his title reign and someone else can take the title to hopefully do something with it.

Post match everyone gets in the ring for the huge staredown.

Boxing personalities talk about Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Chavo Guerrero comes up to mock the injured Tommy Dreamer. A match is set for tonight, thanks to some insults to Colin Delaney (sure why not).

Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito

Feeling out process to start with Carlito slugging away as Taz says he has been hit in the face with a ladder in a match but never had a ladder match. Benjamin skins the cat but Carlito snaps his throat across the top for a crash to the floor. We hit the chinlock back inside and the fans do not seem impressed. Benjamin fights up but gets knocked back into the corner as this isn’t exactly burning up the mat.

Another chinlock goes on but this time Benjamin electric chairs his way to freedom. Carlito is back with a neckbreaker for two and we hit the chinlock with a knee in Benjamin’s back. Benjamin finally makes the comeback and hits the overhead belly to belly. A neckbreaker gives Carlito two more but the Backstabber is countered into a buckle bomb. Paydirt is countered into a backbreaker to give Carlito two more but Benjamin catches him on top. A super Paydirt finishes Carlito off.

Rating: C-. These two were left out there to fill in as much time as they could and it didn’t exactly work. There were far too many chinlocks to get them through the match until Benjamin finally won in the end. This really didn’t work very well, but like everything else around here, none of that is going to matter by next week.

Video on the Raw World Title triple threat match.

Wrestlemania rundown.

The final inductee into the Hall of Fame Class: Gordon Solie.

Kelly Kelly/Stevie Richards vs. Mike Knox/Layla

The women actually wrestle to start with Kelly getting two. Knox gets in a cheap shot from the apron though and Layla takes over for a bit. The men come in and Richards swings away until the women getting in a fight distracts him. Knox grabs a swinging Downward Spiral for the fast pin.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Chavo Guerrero

Non-title and the battle royal participants are at ringside. Dreamer backdrops him to the apron and punches him out to the floor to start, with the unofficial lumberjacks sending Chavo back inside. Chavo sends him shoulder first into the post and we hit the front facelock. The fans think Chavo sucks, even as Dreamer fights up with a bulldog. Guerrero blocks something out of the corner so Dreamer settles for a neckbreaker. Dreamer gets crotched on top though and the frog splash gives Chavo the pin.

Rating: C-. And that’s another Chavo match these days, as they are still rather uninteresting with little going on that could make me care about the title. Dreamer making his comeback is always decent enough but there was only so much that can be done with a three minute match less than a week before Wrestlemania. Just get the title off of Chavo already because this reign is dragging down everything else.

Post match everyone gets inside and the fight is on to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. My goodness Wrestlemania needs to come and go already because this show is falling apart in a hurry. There is only so much that can be done when you have one important story and that one is in limbo due to the champion not having an opponent. Other than that, it is a bunch of people trying to fill in time and that is not going to work long, or even short, term.

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Smackdown
Date: March 14, 2008
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 15,121
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole

We are less than a month away from Wrestlemania and the focus continues to be on Edge vs. the Undertaker. This time though, Edge is veering off to team with the Edgeheads against Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair in a cage match. That’s certainly a unique enough one to go with so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is hometown girl Maria to get things going. She is excited for Bunnymania but tonight, she is hosting the Smackdown Divas Contest so here are the rest of the women. We waste no time in eliminating Maryse, meaning it’s time for this week’s contest. All four of the remaining women (Eve Torres, Michelle McCool, Cherry, Victoria) run the course….with time not counting, because the fan vote decides who is eliminated anyway. McCool wins as at least this was short.

Ric Flair and Shawn Michaels are ready for the main event.

Raw Rebound.

Big Show vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

Show shoves them down without much trouble and tosses Yang into Moore in the corner. The chops rock Moore again and Yang gets tossed so hard that he almost spins around. The big right hand pins Moore in a hurry.

Post match Show tosses Yang ala Floyd Mayweather Jr. on Raw.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: John Morrison vs. The Miz

Morrison doesn’t waste time by grabbing a rollup for a fast two. Back up and Miz hits a middle rope clothesline for one and it’s time for Morrison to bail to the floor. Miz cranks on a headlock before forearming away. That’s fine with Morrison, who sweeps the legs into a jackknife rollup for two more. The flipping neckbreaker is blocked though and Miz faceplants him for two of his own. Morrison isn’t pleased and pops back up with the flipping neckbreaker to finish Miz off.

Rating: C-. Very basic match here and that is about all you could expect from them. Miz isn’t that far along (though he’s coming) and Morrison is the bigger and more successful star. No one would buy Miz as a threat to win the briefcase and while Morrison isn’t that much better of an option, he’s the better option than Miz at the moment.

Video on JBL vs. Finlay, leading to their Belfast Brawl at Wrestlemania.

Finlay joins us via satellite, saying there are no words to describe what it’s like to look at Hornswoggle in his hospital bed. At Wrestlemania, there will be no words to describe the beating he is going to give JBL.

US Title: MVP vs. Batista

MVP is defending and this is no holds barred. They go nose to nose to start until MVP bails to the floor to avoid a charge. Back in and Batista sends him face first into the buckle before a big kick to the chest gets two. An elbow to the head gives Batista two more but MVP is right back up with an overhead belly to belly of all things. MVP gets smart by hitting him in the face with a chain and then chokes away with it back inside.

Batista breaks that up so MVP tears off a buckle pad, only to walk into a spinebuster. It’s too early for Batista to follow up though and MVP gets in a chair shot to the ribs. They go outside with MVP being sent into the barricade and Batista being sent into the post. A low blow gives MVP a needed breather and there’s a running boot to the face as we take a break.

Back with both of them still down on the floor until Batista has to spear a chair out of MVP’s hands. That doesn’t keep MVP down very long though as he chairs Batista in the leg to take over again. MVP takes too long (common theme in this one) peeling back the ring mats though and now it’s Batista getting in his own chair shot. Back in and MVP sends him face first into the exposed buckle to knock Batista silly. For some reason MVP goes up with the chair, allowing Batista to get up. Not that it matters though as cue Umaga to Samoan Spike Batista down, allowing MVP to retain the title.

Rating: C+. This should be it for the feud as Batista now has an even bigger reason to focus on Umaga and Wrestlemania. The ending was the logical way to go as you need to keep Batista strong and MVP…well he’s lost so many times already that it’s hard to believe that there is much left for his reign anyway. What matters here is they wrapped up one feud and moved on to another and at least MVP got a pin for once.

Video on Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs. Big Show.

Kane/Jamie Noble vs. Great Khali/Chuck Palumbo

Palumbo slugs away at Kane to start, which goes about as well as you are probably imagining. Noble, with his bad ribs, comes in and is quickly dropped, allowing Khali to come in and go after the ribs. Some shots to Khali have no effect but Palumbo gets in a cheap shot from the apron anyway. The chokebomb finishes Noble fast.

The cage is lowered.

The Brisco Brothers are going into the Hall Of Fame.

Ric Flair/Shawn Michaels vs. Edge/Edgeheads

In a cage with escape only rules. Hold on though as here is Vickie Guerrero to say we’re adding in someone else. Cue Chavo Guerrero and this is going to be 4-2. We’re joined in progress with the big fight on and Edge spears Flair down to make the numbers game even worse. Shawn gets tied up in the ropes and there’s a spear against the cage or him too.

That leaves him to see an already bloody Flair get rammed into the cage but Shawn is untied and stomped in the corner. Flair manages a few right hands but Edge rakes him face first into the cage. Shawn fights up and Flair does the same, only to have Shawn get tied up in the Tree of Woe for a spear from Edge. Somehow Flair chops away at Edge and the Edgeheads and Shawn manages to knock a diving Chavo out of the air.

A low blow drops Edge and Shawn hits the forearm into the nip up. The villains are sent into the cage over and over and there’s the top rope elbow to Hawkins. Edge spears Chavo by mistake and the double Figure Fours go on. Chavo breaks them up with a double frog splash….and Undertaker is here. Undertaker goes after Edge but a distraction lets him escape the cage for the win.

Rating: C. This was weird as it didn’t really do anything other than put a bunch of people in the cage at once before Undertaker popped in to give them an ending. It felt like they just said “oh do whatever” and moved on, which doesn’t make for the most interesting of matches. That being said, it’s more interesting than a regular tag match and I guess Flair’s loss doesn’t count because he wasn’t directly beaten?

Overall Rating: C. We seem to be entering into the portion of the Wrestlemania build where they have everything set and just need to focus on that instead of anything new. That doesn’t make for the most interesting show, but it’s nice to have a plan and then go forward with it. With only two weeks to go before Wrestlemania, we could be in for some very different shows, but that doesn’t mean they’re all going to be thrilling.

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Smackdown
Date: February 29, 2008
Location: Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Attendance: 5,200
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

We are just over a month away from Wrestlemania XXIV and most of the top of the card is set. That means that the following weeks can be for a mixture of firming up the main events and building up the lower half of the card. That can include quite a few things and we’ll start this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at the Wrestlemania press conference.

Opening sequence.

Big Show vs. Joey Ryans/Jay Garland

Ryans is….well I think you can guess and this is Show’s first WWE match in over a year. We hear about Show wanting to be a boxer but not being able to get anyone to take his fights. Garland gets chokeslammed and Ryans gets punched in the corner. A right hand knocks Ryans silly for the easy pin.

Post match Show talks about how Floyd Mayweather Jr. may be facing Oscar de la Hoya in September. It’s just a rumor, and Show is here to stop that rumor. Show is going to break everything in Mayweather, including his spirit. There isn’t going to be a Mayweather vs. de la Hoya fight, but Show vs. de la Hoya is possible. That $20 million that Mayweather is getting for the Wrestlemania match (right) isn’t going to be enough for the pain he’ll be experiencing.

Deuce N Domino vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore

Cherry is here with Deuce N Domino. Yang and Domino get things going with Domino missing an elbow drop so Yang can grab a headlock. Moore comes in and gets hit in the face a few times before headscissoring Domino into the corner. Back up and Domino sends Moore HARD out to the floor (that was a scary landing), setting up something like a seated abdominal stretch back inside.

Commentary argues about old westerns and whether Asians can be rednecks (oh dear) as Domino pulls Moore down by the hair and knocks Yang off the apron. Not that it matters as the hot tag goes through a few seconds later, with Yang getting to clean a few rooms. The moonsault press misses though and Cherry pulls Moore off the apron. That leaves Yang to slip out of a belly to back suplex and now the moonsault press can connect for the pin on Deuce.

Rating: C. I’m glad to see Yang and Moore sticking around a bit longer, as they have been a rather nice little bright spot between here and ECW. I’m not sure what that is going to mean for them in the long term, but at least they are doing something for the time being. Deuce N Domino….yeah how long were you expecting a greaser gimmick to last? Maybe having them actually do something as champions might have helped.

Edge and Vickie Guerrero make honeymoon plans, with Edge thinking Canada. Vickie loves Canadians but the Edgeheads interrupt their romance. That’s ok with Edge, who sends Zack Ryder after Undertaker tonight.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Jamie Noble

Yes, AGAIN and Michelle McCool is here with Noble. Palumbo misses a charge into the corner and Noble strikes away before pulling on an armbar over the ropes. Back up and Palumbo dumps him to the floor without much effort but a McCool distraction breaks up whatever Palumbo has planned (probably some kind of wrestling move).

They head back inside with Palumbo hitting an overhead belly to belly superplex for two, leaving Palumbo stunned. Noble manages a Fujiwara armbar until the rope is grabbed, allowing Palumbo to hit a hard slam. An enziguri sends Palumbo into the corner for a Cannonball but he rakes Noble’s eyes across the top. The Overdrive finishes Noble off.

Rating: C. The more I watch these matches the more I believe WWE has just forgotten where they were going with the story but keep it going for lack of anything better for the two of them. Palumbo is still his old, not that interesting self and now Noble, who has been the good guy in the whole thing, is a loser. What else is there for these two to do? And it isn’t like McCool has gained anything either, making this quite the waste of time.

Vickie Guerrero is in the back with Teddy Long and Maryse, with the latter praising Vickie until Batista comes in. Batista has heard about this Raw vs. Smackdown challenge and wants to face Umaga. Maryse likes the idea (and maybe Batista) so Vickie sets the match.

Batista/Kane vs. MVP/Great Khali

Feels like they pressed the random button in Smackdown vs. Raw. Kane and Khali start things off with Khali pounding him into the corner. MVP comes in and gets backdropped, setting up the basement dropkick, which always feels weird from Kane. It’s off to Batista, who charges into an elbow in the corner.

Kane is right back in to big boot MVP down for two as commentary thinks we’ll be talking about the recent Elimination Chamber match for years to come. I wouldn’t get my hopes up on that one. The spinebuster plants MVP but Khali breaks up the Batista Bomb as we take an early break.

Back with Khali shoving Batista down and sending him outside without much trouble. Khali runs him over again back inside and actually covers for two, showing more mobility than usual. Batista gets over for the tag off to Kane to fire off on Khali in the corner. This lasts all of five seconds before Khali knocks him backwards. MVP comes in so Kane grabs him by the throat, earning a chop from Khali on the apron (makes sense).

The cravate doesn’t hold Kane down for very long as he powers up and slams MVP down for a breather. MVP cuts him off with a kick to the head though as this heat is getting some time. Kane finally knocks MVP down though and the hot tag brings in Batista to clean house. Everything breaks down and Khali chops Batista right back down, only to have the Vice Grip reversed into the spinebuster. MVP makes the save so Batista spears Khali down for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was a near shockingly good match as they worked the formula and got some time, making it into a match where I wanted to see how it ended. What mattered the most here though was MVP didn’t take the fall, which had me worried throughout. Khali has nothing going on at the moment and thankfully WWE realized he should be taking the pin.

Eve Torres comes out to introduce High Chief Peter Maivia and Rocky Johnson for the Hall of Fame, with the Rock inducting them. I get that she has to do something, but the Hall of Fame announcement (even one repeated from Raw) doesn’t feel exactly right for someone who has been around for all of a few months.

Jesse & Festus vs. Miz/John Morrison

Non-title but before the match, we get a clip from the Dirt Sheet with a completely genuine conversation between the teams, which makes Jesse & Festus sound a bit dumb. The bell rings and Festus jumps Miz and Morrison before sending the former into the corner for a running shot to the face.

A headbutt lets Jesse come in with a middle rope elbow and even knock Morrison off the apron. Miz gets smart by taking a breather on the floor and Jesse gets taken down back inside. That lasts all of a few seconds as an easy escape sets up the hot tag to Festus. House is cleaned and Festus sits on Morrison’s chest and grabs the fireman’s carry flapjack for the pin.

Rating: C. The champs lose again (after losing on ECW to Tommy Dreamer and Colin Delaney), which is far too common of a trope in WWE. At least Jesse and Festus are a bit better team, but it isn’t like they’re the next great thing. Other than the good looking flapjack, there wasn’t much to be seen here, especially after that rather awesome…Khali match?

Raw Rebound.

Big Daddy V vs. Balls Mahoney

Matt Striker is here with V. Mahoney gets beaten down to start and there’s the swinging Boss Man Slam. The corner splash and Samoan drop crush Mahoney….and there’s the Undertaker’s gong. The lights go out and Undertaker POWER WALKS to the ring (egads) to beat V outside. Mahoney gets chokeslammed too as it’s a no contest because DQ’s are passe or something.

Post match Undertaker says death waits for no man, so Edge needs to send his minion to Undertaker’s yard.

Undertaker vs. Zack Ryder

Edge and Curt Hawkins are here too. Ryder bails to the floor to start and a distraction lets him get in a few cheap shots. That earns Ryder a hard posting and there’s the kick to the side of the head. The beating continues back inside before Undertaker throws him over the top in a heap. Ryder tries to come in off the top but Hawkins has to save him from a chokeslam. Some right hands in the corner just annoy Undertaker so he throws Ryder into the corner to hammer away. Snake Eyes into the big boot set up the chokeslam and choke, which is enough to draw Edge in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. More or less a squash here for Undertaker and that’s all it needed to be. A heel like Edge has minions for a reason and Undertaker got to wreck one of them on the way to Wrestlemania. Ryder is nowhere near ready to be a challenge to Undertaker so this went as it should have gone. It doesn’t make it interesting, but it was logical.

Post match Undertaker is having none of this and beats up the Edgeheads, including the choke to Hawkins. Undertaker holds up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Undertaker vs. Edge is starting to feel like a big deal and that is how a major Wrestlemania match should come off. The match got another hard push here and when you add in….Great Khali having the match of the night…..it was a pretty decent show. They need something else to build up aside from Edge vs. Undertaker, but they still have a few weeks to make that work.

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Smackdown
Date: February 22, 2008
Location: Sports Arena, San Diego, California
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

We’re done with No Way Out and Edge is still the World Champion, meaning he is set to defend the title against the Undertaker at Wrestlemania. That could be in for a long build and the question now is what else will be on the Wrestlemania card. They have some work to do to get it ready so let’s get to it.

Here is No Way Out if you need a recap.

We look at Undertaker winning the Elimination Chamber to become #1 contender.

Opening sequence.

Here are Edge and the Edgeheads to get things going. Edge brags about retaining the World Title at No Way Out because the three of them hurt Rey Mysterio last week in Chile. Now he is on to Wrestlemania to face the Undertaker at Wrestlemania, where Edge wants to cement his legacy by ending the Streak. Edge has his own Wrestlemania undefeated streak and something has to give. He goes against the impossible and succeeds, which is why he will succeed.

For fifteen years, everyone has asked who will finally defeat the Undertaker (eh, more like the last seven or eight) and he will not fall. This year it all ends because he is that man. Then the gong strikes and here is Undertaker to beat up the Edgeheads, who offer enough of a distraction for Edge to escape. Perfectly fine first segment for the feud.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Shelton Benjamin vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Shelton powers him into the corner to start and drives some shoulders to the ribs. Yang fights out, only to get buckle bombed HARD into the corner. The chinlock goes on for a bit before a t-bone suplex cuts off Yang’s comeback. A backbreaker keeps Yang in trouble before Benjamin puts him up top. Yang shoves him away, only to have Benjamin jump up to the top for an overhead belly to belly superplex.

Another buckle bomb is countered with a hurricanrana and a spinning headscissors drops Benjamin again. The running spinwheel kick in the corner sets up a high crossbody for two on Benjamin, followed by a sunset flip out of the corner for the same. That’s enough for Benjamin, who avoids the moonsault press and hits the jumping Downward Spiral for the pin.

Rating: C. Yang is a good example of someone who has been built up well enough to be a bit of a headache for Benjamin. There was no way Yang was going to get in a match like Money In The Bank, but at least they didn’t have the match be total dominance. This was a completely watchable match and that’s more than I was expecting.

Teddy Long runs into the returning Maryse, who says she hasn’t been around for a long time. She would like to ask him something….in his office.

Jesse And Festus vs. Deuce N Domino

Cherry is here with Deuce N Domino. Festus headbutts Deuce down to start and it’s off to Jesse for a drop toehold. Jesse sends him outside but a Cherry distraction lets Domino get in a cheap shot. We hit the chinlock back inside (with Jesse looking like he is tapping) before Jesse is draped over the top for a forearm to the back from Domino. Back up and Festus adds a headbutt from the apron, allowing Jesse to hit his own headbutt. That’s enough for the hot tag to Festus so house can be cleaned in a hurry. A Rocket Launcher finishes Domino.

Rating: C. Festus is a fun act, but you can only get so much out of the idea of Jesse does a regular match and then tags Festus to wreck things. That doesn’t have the longest shelf life and it is already starting to lose steam. Festus has something with the idea, but there is only so much that can be done with what is basically a one man team.

Raw Rebound.

Video on the South American tour.

Big Daddy V. vs. Shannon Moore

Matt Striker is here with V. Moore gets shoved down to start and his kicks just annoy V a bit more. The swinging Boss Man Slam plants Moore and V sends him flying again. A missed charge lets Moore kick away a few times until V runs him own. The really big elbow finishes Moore off.

Rating: D+. If WWE insists on pushing V as the monster over and over, he needs a win like this every so often. This was almost a total squash and Moore probably got in more than he should have. Moore getting crushed isn’t a bad thing, but V has lost so much that it has me wondering how many more times they can keep reheating him.

MVP vs. Batista

Non-title. During his entrance, we get an inset promo from MVP, saying Batista can’t beat him twice in a row. Batista drives him into the corner to start before going with a boot into MVP’s banged up back. MVP manages to send him face first into the buckle though and a forearm to the back of the head drops Batista for a change.

The running big boot to the side of the head knocks Batista off the apron and MVP hammers away back inside. We hit the chinlock so Batista fights up, only to get sent right back to the floor in a bit of a surprise. The front facelock goes on back inside, setting up a facebuster for two on Batista. That doesn’t last long though as Batista is back with three straight spinebusters and the Batista Bomb finishes fast.

Rating: C. Oh yeah MVP is in that bad place, as he is losing over and over again while still US Champion. In other words, WWE seems to think that he is bulletproof and that means he is going to lose more and more. Why Batista needed to beat him again isn’t the most clear concept, but I would bet on a reaction of “oh well” as they move on.

We get a medical update on Hornswoggle after he got beaten down so badly on Raw. Naturally we see the beatdown, which commentary describes as so horrible.

Great Khali vs. Kane

Kane slugs away to start and gets hit in the face for his efforts. Khali gets knocked back into the corner but a clothesline of his own puts Kane back down. The slugout continues with Kane hitting an uppercut but getting caught going up top. We hit the nerve hold and then the Vice Grip but Kane kicks off the corner and falls backwards for the pin.

Rating: D. It was a bunch of punches and chops before the fluke ending to keep Khali looking strong. Kane was trying here but what exactly is he supposed to do in a situation like this? Khali continues to be so limited in the ring, but much like Big Daddy V, it stops meaning anything when he loses over and over again.

Video on the Streak.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Matt Jackson

Yes that Matt Jackson and Palumbo runs him over with a clothesline to start. Jackson hits a dropkick as Michelle McCool is watching in the back. Palumbo knocks him to the floor for a fall away slam, followed by a clothesline back inside. The Full Throttle finishes Jackson fast.

Here is Rey Mysterio for an update on his health. Rey gets right to the point: he has a torn bicep and needs surgery. Unfortunately the surgery will take place this weekend, so he won’t be at Wrestlemania. If this is the last time that he is going to be in the ring for a long time, there is no better place to be than in San Diego.

Cue Vickie Guerrero to say she doesn’t care if Rey is hurt because he ruined her moment last week. We see Rey “accidentally” hitting Vickie with a springboard seated senton last week and Rey still isn’t very sorry. Vickie doesn’t want to hear it, but Rey has a match RIGHT NOW, injury or not.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Non-title. Chavo charges at him to start and hammers away with Rey falling around the ring. Rey manages a hurricanrana but gets faceplanted to cut that off in a hurry. We take a break and come back with Chavo working on the arm. Rey even has to go to the ropes to escape, leaving Chavo to baseball slide him to the floor. Back in and Rey manages another headscissors, setting up the running seated senton off the apron.

Chavo catches Rey up top back inside, only to get knocked down to set up a top rope seated senton. The basement dropkick gets two more and the 619 has Chavo down. Rey’s arm won’t let him hit the springboard though, allowing Chavo to catch him on top. Three Amigos have Rey in trouble but he avoids the frog splash, allowing Rey to come back with a sunset flip for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. Given Rey’s injury, this went about as well as it could have gone. That being said, it doesn’t say much when Chavo, the reigning ECW Champion, knew this was coming and was healthy but still lost anyway. WWE already hasn’t exactly made ECW look good and now it is even worse with this latest development as Rey is on the way out.

Post match Vickie says it’s her turn to hurt Rey….so here is Big Show to lay Rey out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Edge vs. Undertaker is going to be fine but they didn’t exactly do anything to start another feud here. Rey was written off due to his injury for the sake of crushing him in his hometown, but we knew he was already heading off for surgery. Throw in a bunch of pretty ok at best matches and there just wasn’t much worth seeing as we start the Road To Wrestlemania.

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Smackdown
Date: February 15, 2008
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 14,307
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

It’s the go home show for No Way Out and that probably means we are going to be seeing more between the people involved in the Elimination Chamber. Other than that, Edge vs. Rey Mysterio II needs more of a build, though I’m not sure how much more there is to do with the feud. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Batista vs. MVP

Non-title. MVP gets backed into the corner to start before Batista drops him with a shoulder. That’s enough for a breather on the floor as MVP needs a break. Back in and some slams send MVP right back to the floor, followed by a running boot to the head back inside. Batista switches things up a bit by going after the leg, with commentary debating if that is a callback to MVP going after Ric Flair’s leg or just, you know, trying to hurt MVP before the Chamber. The Figure Four would suggest it’s a bit of both but MVP makes it to the rope as we take a break.

Back with Batista driving the shoulders to the ribs in the corner but MVP sends him shoulder first into the post. MVP stomps him down in the corner before getting smart by staying on the arm. The kick to the head gives MVP two and we hit the armbar. They head outside with Batista being sent into the steps but Batista is back with a ram into the apron. Back in and MVP gets smart by sending him shoulder first into the post again. That’s fine with Batista, who uses the good shoulder for a spear. The Batista Bomb puts MVP away.

Rating: C+. I liked the match layout as they had MVP try to wear Batista down for Sunday, which makes sense, but my goodness can we stop having the US Champion get pinned? It’s one of the most annoying things in all of wrestling and it feels like it has been happening on a pretty regular basis as of late. You couldn’t have had him walk out of get disqualified here? That shouldn’t be too much to ask.

Edge gives the Edgeheads a quick and mostly useless pep talk.

Deuce N Domino/Edgeheads vs. Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore/Jesse and Festus

The bell rings and Festus cleans house, as he is known to do. Jesse knocks Ryder down for two and it’s off to Moore, who gets taken into the wrong corner. The beatdown is on and the villains start taking turns beating Moore up. Moore kicks Domino away though and the hot tag brings in Yang to clean house. Everything breaks down and Yang’s moonsault press finishes Domino fast.

Post match the bell rings and the villains beat everyone down….until Jesse rings the bell and Festus gets to wreck everyone again. Another bell rings calms things right back down.

Vickie Guerrero gets her makeup done in the hopes that Edge pops the question later.

Michelle McCool vs. Victoria

Hold on though as here is Chuck Palumbo to watch and Michelle is shaken. Palumbo revs his motorcycle a lot and Victoria chokes in the corner. Michelle’s superplex attempt is broken up as she is distracted again, allowing Victoria to punch her in the face a few times. They crash out to the floor as the revving continues/grows even louder. Back in and Michelle hits a clothesline but more revving lets Victoria hit the Widow’s Peak for the pin.

Post match Palumbo threatens McCool and Jamie Noble some more.

We recap Undertaker choking people, namely Big Daddy V, out in recent weeks.

Undertaker vs. Big Daddy V

Matt Striker is here with V, who shoves Undertaker into the corner to start. It works so well that V does it again but Undertaker starts striking away. Undertaker goes to the arm until a Striker distraction lets V get in the rather large clothesline. With Undertaker down on the floor, Striker gets in a kick to the back and V sends Undertaker face first into the steps. After the weird mounting thing, V misses a charge in the corner and gets clotheslined down. Old School connects and a running DDT gives Undertaker the pin.

Rating: D. How many times can Undertaker beat this guy? I think we’ve gotten the point by now, as the video package before the match showed you just how dominant Undertaker has been in this mini feud. I’m not sure why they needed to have V lose clean again here, but it’s not like anyone was buying him as a threat in the Chamber anyway.

Post match Striker yells a lot so Undertaker chokes him out.

Edge is rather nervous.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

No Way Out rundown.

Kane/CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero/Shelton Benjamin

Kane and Chavo start things off and it’s a gorilla press to get things going. I’ll let you figure out who pressed who as Punk comes in to stomp Chavo down in the corner. It’s off to Benjamin, who gets dropkicked down but manages to come right back with a t-bone suplex. Chavo gets launched into a splash on Punk for two and the villains take over. That doesn’t last long either though as it’s back to Kane for the house cleaning. Benjamin saves Chavo from a near fall and gets choked for his efforts, with Chavo having to make his own save. Everything breaks down and the GTS finishes Chavo.

Rating: C. Just a way to get Chavo and Punk in the ring again as that feud continues to exist for reasons of….I guess necessity? There isn’t anyone else for Chavo to defend against at the moment so this is about as good as WWE can do for him. That works for a bit, but the impact falls off when they have fought roughly 184 times so far.

Raw Rebound.

Video on Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Vince McMahon.

Great Khali vs. Finlay

Khali wastes no time in taking him down into the corner for some choking but a neck snap across the rope gives Finlay a breather. Not that it matters as Khali takes him outside and keeps up the beating. Back in and Khali grabs a slam and then a nerve hold, which lasts slightly less long than average. Back up and Finlay avoids a charge in the corner but Khali drops him again. Hornswoggle offers a distraction though and Finlay gets in some shillelagh shots for the pin.

Rating: D+. You can only get so much out of a short match like this one and they didn’t exactly do anything good with it. Finlay beating up Khali with the shillelagh is something that has been done more than once and much like V, there was no reason to believe that Khali was going to win in the Chamber. Finlay isn’t likely going to get much higher than this, but I can go for him being a solid midcard hand who gets a win like this every now and then.

The ring is geared up for the potential proposal. There are balloons, flowers, a string quartet and….well nothing more but do you need anything else? Here is Edge, to some nice string music, and he is looking nervous. Edge talks about how he has never been nervous before but he is really in love. He invites Vickie out here, with Teddy Long getting to push the wheelchair again.

With Teddy gone, Edge says the World Title meant a lot to him, but there is something more important. Edge proposes and gives her the ring, which gets him a yes. Cue Rey Mysterio to interrupt and say he hopes that Vickie drops the Guerrero name. Edge threatens to put Rey in the wheelchair if he doesn’t apologize right now so Rey gets in the ring and apologizes in Spanish. Oh and he’ll win the title on Sunday. The fight is on and the springboard seated sent hits Vickie by mistake. Rey is….sorry? Maybe? Eh Vickie getting humiliated is always worth a look.

Overall Rating: C. Oh yeah they need to get past No Way Out fast because this isn’t exactly working. There is only so much that you can do with the same people doing the same stuff over and over, even if it does at least build things up for the Elimination Chamber. Rey vs. Edge is rapidly turning into Rey vs. Vickie and that is only going to get them so far. It wasn’t a bad show, but it’s a show that is going to need a pit stop really soon.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Joey Janela’s Spring Break 6 Night Two
Date: April 1, 2022
Location: Fair Park, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Dave Prazak, Kevin Gill

It’s the second half of the show and in this case, it needs to get a pretty big upgrade over the first half. Night one was a decent enough show, but it wasn’t memorable, which is the point of a show like this. Now that being being said, this show is built around the Clusterf*** Battle Royal, which could be quite the mess. Let’s get to it.

Here is Night One if you need a recap.

We open with Joey Janela talking about beating Sean Waltman last night and wanting his flowers. He wonders why the fans hate him now but Spring Break needs a lethal dose of poison to turn it back into what it is supposed to be. This year, he is entering the Clusterf*** so he can end it once and for all. Maybe just don’t run it then?

Matt Cardona vs. Chris Dickinson

Chelsea Green is here with Cardona, who is currently the king, meaning yes he does have a Macho King crown. Green gets in an ALL HAIL THE DEATHMATCH KING and the fans are all over Cardona again. Cardona insults GCW and says they are the power couple of wrestling. Six years ago, he won the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania, but now he’s in this piece of garbage ring. If he was in WWE, like he should be, he would be celebrating his friend Mark Calaway, who he will see in the Hall of Fame one day.

Dickinson comes out with….MISSY HYATT to even things out, which is one of those names that makes this show feel fun. Both pairs share good luck kisses before the match, with Hyatt’s leaving Dickinson woozy. Dickinson wrestles him to the mat to start but Cardona is up to yell at Hyatt. That doesn’t work well for Dickinson, who grabs a cross armbreaker to send Cardona bailing to the floor.

Back in and Green grabs Dickinson’s foot for a distraction so Cardona can stomp away. After throwing his shirt at Hyatt, Cardona chokes with the wrist tape and then his hand for a bonus. The running forearm drops Dickinson again and a neckbreaker gives Cardona two. It’s already door time but Cardona spends too much time mocking the crowd, allowing Dickinson to backdrop him through the door in the corner.

The slugout is on with Cardona going to the eyes, only to get blasted with a running clothesline. The brainbuster gives Dickinson two but Green offers a distraction, allowing Cardona to nail a spear for two. Missy finally grabs Cardona’s boot and slaps Green, allowing Dickinson to hit a Death Valley Driver for two of his own.

Green offers another distraction so Cardona can hit a low blow into the Rough Ryder for two. Now it’s Green coming in and hitting Cardona with Missy’s loaded purse by mistake, allowing Dickinson to clothesline her down. The toss Razor’s Edge is enough for Dickinson to pin both of them at once at 12:43.

Rating: C+. You really can see why the GCW fans can’t stand Cardona in this run as he is one of the most annoying and obnoxious heels you could want to see. He is playing up the idea of being a big shot and that is one of the best ways to get heat from anyone. Dickinson is a decent power guy and looked good here, though Missy kind of disappeared for large chunks of the match.

Biff Busick vs. Tony Deppen

Feeling out process to start with Deppen trying to go to the mat to little success. Back up and Busick goes to the armbar, which has Deppen bailing to the ropes. Busick chops the heck out of Deppen, whose chops back have no effect. They head outside with Busick uppercutting away but a chop only hits the post. With Busick trying to shake it off, Deppen hits a flip dive off the apron and they head back inside.

Busick is fine enough to knee him down and the figure four necklock sends Deppen to the ropes again. Back up and Busick gets a little more violent by holding Deppen in place for some slaps to the face. Deppen is smart enough to go after Busick’s bad hand but Busick hits a running uppercut to take him down again.

Busick misses a charge though and Deppen hits a suicide flip dive for two back inside. Back up and the slugout goes to Busick until Deppen goes for the hand and grabs a Kimura of all things. With that broken up, Busick wins another strike off but Deppen avoids a charge in the corner. A running knee finishes Busick at 11:40.

Rating: B-. Sometimes you need two people to hit each other really hard and you got at least half of that here with Busick’s beating. Busick might not be a star in the making, but he’s an established hard hitter in the middle of the card and that should be enough to get him quite a few jobs. At the same time, you have Deppen as one of the better heels I’ve seen in a bit, as he is just straight up unlikable. Keep going with that and he’ll be fine.

Post match Deppen thanks Busick for the match but tells anyone who doesn’t believe in him what they can kiss.

Mike Bailey vs. Jordan Oliver

Bailey does his bow and they shake hands to start. Oliver does his pose so Bailey kicks him in the face and strikes away but Oliver is back up with chops of his own. Bailey’s leapfrog is countered into a faceplant and Oliver sends him outside for a big dive. Some kicks send Oliver through some chairs though and Bailey knees him in the chest.

Back in and Bailey kicks him in the chest for two, followed by the YES Kicks to make it worse. Bailey hits a running kick to the face in the corner and they strike it out again. Oliver snaps off a release German suplex and a sitout powerbomb for two but Bailey sends him outside. There’s the springboard moonsault to the floor and they strike it out on the apron.

Bailey gets the better of things and hits the moonsault knees, setting up the bouncing kicks back inside. The big kick to the head looks to set up the Ultimate Weapon but Oliver counters it with a cutter. A handspring cutter gets two so Oliver goes up, only to get pulled down with something like a One Winged Angel for the pin at 10:01.

Rating: C+. As is usually the case with Bailey, the action was good but he continues to have such a punchable face that it is hard to get into his matches. The good thing here was he didn’t have the stupid no selling that drags down every good thing he does, making this slightly easier to watch than most of his matches. Oliver has come a long way but still has a good bit to go before he moves up to the next level.

Effy says he shouldn’t be here but tonight he’ll beat Minoru Suzuki, have his own show tomorrow, and then maybe he’ll come for some gold.

Effy vs. Minoru Suzuki

Allie Katch is here with Effy. They both stick their jaws out with offers of a free shot but Effy’s attempt at a kiss gets him slapped. Suzuki slaps him down and then a kick to the face puts Effy on the floor. They head outside with Effy telling him to chop as hard as he can. That’s fine with Suzuki, who mocks Effy’s return chops.

A big boot sends Effy through the chairs and Suzuki cranks on the arm back inside. Effy tries some forearms but gets dropped with a single one from Suzuki. Then Effy bites Suzuki’s nipple and northern lights suplexes him for two. The big kiss staggers Suzuki but it’s a slap to the face and the Gotch style piledriver to give Suzuki the pin at 9:04.

Rating: C. Effy’s stuff may or may not be your cup of tea but Suzuki more or less squashed him here in a match with little to no doubt about the outcome. Effy was doing little more than comedy here so it isn’t like there was much to get annoyed about. They were going for the “wouldn’t it be funny if these two wrestled” idea here and I’ve seen worse versions.

Greatest Clusterf***

So this is basically a Royal Rumble, but only in the very loosest of terms. There are no set time intervals and I don’t believe there is a set number of entrants. I’m not going to be able to keep track of all of the eliminations, as I’ve never seen a version of this where they are all announced. This is going to be about total chaos and some surprise entrants and nothing more. You can be eliminated by pinfall, submission, over the top, leaving the building and…death?

Joey Janela is in at #1 and Buff Bagwell is in at #2 for your first surprise. Granted Buff is on a crutch but he has the American Males theme so this could be a lot worse. Janela wants to strut with him but it’s a superkick to get rid of Buff very quickly. George Gatton, with an unidentified title, is in at #3 and it’s a superkick into a piledriver to get rid of him too. Judas Judd Cassidy (I think?) is in at #4 and gets thrown over the top just as fast.

Yoya is in at #5 and suplexes Janela but gets caught in a heck of a package piledriver for the pin. Billie Starkz is in at #6 and a Gory Bomb takes Janela down but he raises knees to block her Swanton. That’s it for Starkz and it’s Juicy Finau (a big guy) in at #7. Janela can’t suplex him so Finau does it to Janela instead and it’s the even larger Sam Stackhouse, in Bam Bam Bigelow inspired gear, in at #8.

That leaves Janela to get crushed in the corner by back to back splashes but Stackhouse misses an ugly moonsault. Janela tosses both of them and it’s Rhett Titus in at #9 as Janela keeps up his Brock Lesnar-esque run. Titus wrestles him down and hits the running boot in the corner until it’s the Invisible Man in at #10.

So we have the Invisible Man, Janela and Titus with Titus and the Man slugging it out. The Man gets the better of both of them but an elbow to the face lets Janela and Titus beat him down. A double suplex lets the two of them pose but Man is back with a double low blow. The Man throws out Titus but gets stomped down until Dante Leon is in at #11. They waste no time in the next entrant with Ninja Mack in at #12.

Leon and Mack are long time rivals so they pose at each other before superkicking Janela down. A shooting star piledriver drops Mack and it’s a sick looking Jimmy Lloyd in at #13. Janela and Lloyd put on masks and they rehash their Social Distancing match, meaning they punch from a safe distance. Mack isn’t having that and kicks Lloyd down, setting up the running flip dive to drop Janela on the floor. Back in and Lloyd runs Mack over for the pin and Early Morning Guy Steele is in at #14.

Steele doesn’t seem to know what he is doing and falls off the top as Janela and Lloyd watch from the middle of the ring. Then Steele gives them a running double Blockbuster and a Canadian Destroyer each. Then he goes up top for a 450 to Lloyd, only to get rolled up for the pin from Janela. That was a weird one and it’s Blake Christian in at #15. House is cleaned but the Invisible Man hits Christian low. That earns him a dropkick and it’s Kevin Blackwood in at #16.

Blackwood’s suplex gets two on Leon and stomps on Janela in the corner until Hoodfoot is in at #17. Hoodfoot and Blackwood slug it out until Slade is in at #18. Young Dumb And Broke (Charlie Tiger and Ellis Taylor) are in at #19 and #20, giving us Janela, Invisible Man, Leon, Lloyd, Christian, Blackwood, Hoodfoot, Slade, Tiger and Taylor as this is far more organized than I was expecting. Everyone hits everyone until Deranged is in at #21 to clean house. With that going nowhere, Grim Reefer is in at #22 and has a smoke.

We now pause for everyone to partake, including Janela, who says he isn’t with AEW anymore and can do what he wants. Janela runs to the back (I don’t think he’s been eliminated but who can tell around here?) and Sandra Moone is in at #23. Reefer clotheslines her down and it’s Parrow in at #24. House is cleaned with Deranged and Reefer being eliminated almost immediately.

Big F’N Vin is in at #25 as Janela is having some Cheetos. Vin kicks Parrow out without much trouble as Janela wants to know his next spot. Nate Webb is in at #26 and comes through the crowd, who sings his theme music. Lloyd gets dropped by the Invisible Man, who hammers on Webb in the corner. Janela superkicks the Invisible Man though and tosses him out, much to the fans’ annoyance. Webb misses a charge and gets low bridged to the floor and Hoodfoot is tossed as well.

Shazza McKenzie is in at #27 and goes after Janela to start the beating. Janela gets in a shot to the face though and grabs a door, only to have McKenzie spear him through it. Janai Kai is in at #28 and Jazzy Yang (Jimmy Wang’s daughter) follows her at #29. The four women in the match stare each other down and it’s Edith Surreal in at #30. That gives us Janela, Leon, Lloyd, Christian, Blackwood, Tiger, Ellis, Moone, Vin, McKenzie, Kai, Yang and Surreal, assuming I didn’t miss any random eliminations.

Dark Sheik, another woman, is in at #31 and we have a six woman showdown. Uh make that seven as LuFisto is in at #32. Some of the guys come in to go after the women, with Leon and Taylor being tossed out. The women all beat up Tiger and toss him out with Vin joining him. Then the women get into it, with Kai kicking out LuFisto. Moone is out as well and McKenzie hits a Stunner on Kai for the elimination. Janela comes back in to superkick McKenzie for the pin and it’s Maven of all people in at #33.

Everyone stops to look at him so Maven hits a bunch of dropkicks….and then walks out for an elimination. Fans: “THANK YOU MAVEN!” With everyone else pairing off, Sean Ross Sapp, yes the dirt sheet writer, is in at #34, drawing a WE WANT MELTZER chant. Sapp gets a mic and begs people to subscribe to Fightful Select so they can read about GCW wrestlers getting fired by AEW. Josh Barnett, former UFC Heavyweight Champion, is in at #35 but fellow writer Denise Salcedo (not in the match) comes in to low blow Sapp and toss him out.

Nasty Leroy is in at #36 and Barnett blasts him with a clothesline as Jimmy Wang Yang is in at #37. Yang manages to take him down (not the prettiest but it worked) so Jazzy (remember, Yang’s daughter) comes in to grab the leg, which apparently counts as a submission to get rid of Barnett. Jazzy rolls up Lloyd for an elimination and it’s Alec Price in at #38. Price tosses Yang and dances a bit before getting kicked in the face by Jazzy. That’s enough for Price to toss her as well and it’s Cole Radrick in at #39.

Radrick and Price wind up on the apron and it’s a double elimination. Brandon Kirk is in at #40, giving us Janela, Christian, Blackwood, Slade, Surreal, Sheik, Leroy and Kirk (I think at least). Sheik hits Kirk low as we’re told Slade has left the building. Janela runs the ropes a lot until Lord Adrean (a Wal-Mart Guy) is in at #41. Adrean cleans house and Tombstones Kirk for the elimination, only to get Death Valley Drivered by Janela for another elimination. Kevin Matthews (you might remember him as KM in Impact) is in at #42 and stares it down with Leroy.

A not great looking Rock Bottom plants Matthews and a worse Rock Bottom sets up a leglock for the tap as Janela busts a gut laughing. Then Janela hits Leroy low and pins him and it’s Nick Wayne in at #43 for a brawl on the apron with Janela. Wayne superkicks Janela out for one heck of a pop and here is B-Boy to introduce Team LA Fights, which are six unnamed people. The team (Jai Vidal and Jack Cartwheel are two of them) clean house and something like a Styles Clash into a sitout powerbomb gets rid of Blackwood.

With those six in at #44-49, the Second City Crew (AJ Gray/Mance Warner/Matthew Justice/1 Called Manders and Levi Everett) are in #50-#54. The Crew cleans house with Matt Vandagriff (of LA Fights) being tossed. Damian Drake and Ju Dizz (I think) are both out with Hunter Freeman joining them. Cartwheel gets knocked out but walks on his hands until Manders chairs him down for the elimination. Vidal is tossed out and the Crew is left alone until the others still in the match come in.

Christian and Wayne get together to toss Everett and Manders. Somehow Christian and Wayne are the last two with Christian hitting a quick Downward Spiral for the pin…and never mind as yeah there are some people still left. Sheik comes in off the top with a spinwheel kick and the rest of the Crew pile onto her for the pin. Christian goes after the Crew but gets taken down and superplexed into a top rope legdrop for the pin….and that’s it at 1:23:57 (I guess Surreal was tossed somewhere in there).

Rating: C+. To be clear, this match is not about something coherent or anything more than having one name after another. That being said, this was WAY more coherent than the previous edition and that helped a lot. This felt more like a very indy Royal Rumble and, save for Surreal, no one was getting lost in the whole thing. I had a good time with this and it did fly by with some fun moments. It’s the kind of match that I was expecting from a Spring Break and it went well, especially with all of the insanity that came with it.

Overall Rating: B-. This was more like the Spring Breaks of the past and it worked out pretty well all things considered. It was a collection of some fun matches before we got to the big main event and that wound up working well. Good stuff here and it didn’t feel like a regular GCW show. While those can be fun, it’s not what I came into this wanting. The main event is all that mattered here and the other four matches were a nice bonus so we’ll call this a success.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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