NWA-TNA Weekly PPV #21
Date: November 13, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

We’re getting closer to the end of the #1 contenders tournament and it’s starting to feel like Jeff Jarrett might actually reach his destiny. In theory that’s a good thing as it means he might shut up, but that’s never been in the cards for him. Other than that, Jerry Lynn is once again the X-Division Champion, which is not a bad thing. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Goldilocks sings the National Anthem in honor of Veterans Day.

Opening sequence.

Commentary runs down the card.

Here are Mortimer Plumtree and AJ Styles for a chat. Styles knows that the fans want to see Jerry Lynn defending the X-Division Title match against Kid Kash, but there is some fine print in the contract (oh yeah it’s a Russo show). Styles is guaranteed a rematch so the title match is off. Cue Lynn, who says Kash has earned a title shot so he’s already gotten the title match turned into a triple threat. So he was just assuming Styles was going to be whiny and rewarded him anyway?

EZ Money vs. Tony Mamaluke

They go with the basic wrestling to start until Money misses a charge over the top to the floor. The big suicide dive takes him out again but another dive is dropkicked out of the air. Back in and Money hits what would become known as a Buckshot Lariat as the fans certainly approve. Mamaluke grabs a quick choke to send Money to the ropes, followed by a guillotine legdrop for two. Money is right back up with a Jason Jett Crash Landing for the pin at 4:51. Makes sense, as Money is in fact Jason Jett.

Rating: B-. This was a nice fast paced opener with two guys who are trying to become a thing around here. Money feels like someone who could be something if he had a bit of a better name, though it’s going to be a bit difficult to crack through the rest of the talent. For now though, good stuff here, even without much time.

Sonny Siaki vs. Chris Vaughn

Siaki jumps him to start and hits a quick belly to belly into the corner. Some shoulders in the corner have Vaughn in trouble and Siaki ties him in the Tree Of Woe. A Samoan drop sets up three straight rolling neckbreakers to finish Vaughn at 2:07.

Earlier today, Brian Lawler was annoyed at April for taking a shower. He didn’t seem to notice Bruce being there too.

Here is James Mitchell to talk about the difference between wrestling and sports entertainment. Of course none of that matters because the New Church is all about evil. He introduces the newest member of the team in Belladonna, plus the returning Malice.

Malice vs. Kaos

Malice jumps him to start and beats him up with quite the ease. Kaos is sent outside and then thrown back inside, with Malice choking away. An overhead belly to belly and big boot set up the chokeslam as Kaos is pretty much done. A top rope knee gives Malice the pin at 2:57.

Brian Lawler vs. Jorge Estrada

April and Priscilla are here too. Lawler dances a bit and stops for a kiss from April, followed by a backdrop to the floor. Back in and Estrada knocks him back, setting up a top rope leg lariat. Lawler tries a shot with April’s purse but Estrada takes it away and wraps it around Lawler’s neck. The springboard Fameasser staggers Lawler and Estrada goes after April, who gets slapped by Priscilla. The distraction lets Lawler get a rollup with tights for the pin at 3:24.

Rating: D. This was another quick match and nothing to see, as Lawler and his stuff with April continues to be absolutely nothing. I’m not sure what the point in having this stuff continue but I’m assuming the idea is that Lawler is a name with star power. That’s all well and good, but maybe come up with something actually interesting.

Jeff Jarrett is ready to do whatever it takes to get the World Title shot. He’s ready to beat BG James and win the tournament, as apparently he’s getting a bye to the finals.

Jimmy Yang vs. Amazing Red

For a future X-Division Title shot. Red backs him into the corner to start before they go to the mat to fight over arm control. With that not working, they get back up for a test of strength, only for Red to spin around him (a lot) into a headscissors. Yang is sent outside and a sliding headscissors takes him into the announcers’ table.

Back in and Yang shoulders away in the corner, setting up an STF. That’s broken up so Red dropkicks a springboard out of the air and the pace picks up. A spinning kick to the face drops Yang and a tornado DDT plants him again. The super Code Red gives Red two and something like a Whisper In The Wind gives Red the pin at 9:43.

Rating: B-. Red is rapidly rising up the ranks and you can see the talent on full display every time he’s in the ring. That is something that can always be useful in any company, but especially in one that is still getting started. Red is standing out and giving him a title shot is a good idea.

BG James is ready to face Jeff Jarrett for the World Title match next week. Jarrett comes in and says it’s the two of them next week. They have a history together and he wants to wish James good luck, man to man. Then Jarrett jumps him.

Tag Team Titles #1 Contenders Tournament Semifinals: Lenny/Bruce vs. Spanish Announce Team

Yes we’re having a three team tournament for a title shot. Joel and Lenny start things off with Lenny doing his rather enthusiastic running of the ropes. Joel trips him down and the other two get in a fight on the floor. That’s enough for Joel to knock Lenny onto the two of them in a big crash.

Back in and a double elbow and gutbuster get two on Joel but Jose is back in for a moonsault/guillotine legdrop combination for two on Bruce. Lenny is back in with a super hurricanrana for two but Joel hits a missile dropkick. Jose comes back in to clean house and we get the, ahem, comedy landing between Lenny and Bruce. Lenny low bridges Bruce to the floor (intentions unclear) and a super Spanish Fly gives Jose the pin at 7:21.

Rating: C. See, this is a bit more like it. The Bruce/Miss TNA stuff is horrible, but it’s even more annoying when you consider that Bruce is not bad at all in the ring. He’s capable of having a fine match and that was what we saw here, as this was perfectly acceptable. Just stop with the low brow unfunny stuff and things would get so much better.

Bob Armstrong says Don Harris is fired as the head of security…but he can wrestle. BECAUSE WE NEED THE HARRIS TWINS.

Tag Team Titles #1 Contenders Tournament Semifinals: Harris Twins vs. Hot Shots

The Twins jump them to start fast and it’s Ron beating up Stevens in the corner without much trouble. Commentary points out how hard it is to tell the Twins apart, ignoring that they’re in different style gear. O’Reilly comes in to fight back but gets knocked back without much trouble. Everything breaks down and the H Bomb finishes Stevens at 3:57.

Rating: D. Yep, the Harris Brothers are still a thing and they are still the most dominant team in the company. I have no idea what the point is in having them around at such a high level but they don’t seem to be going away anytime soon. The match was basically a squash and that made for another long, dull viewing.

That’s not good enough so the Twins beat the Hot Shots up after the match.

Here is a ticked off BG James, who isn’t surprised that Jeff Jarrett attacked him again. James wants Jarrett out here right now but Jarrett says they’ll fight next week. James says something censored and says Jarrett gets it from his parents and…let’s do this now I guess.

NWA World Title #1 Contenders Tournament Final: BG James vs. Jeff Jarrett

They brawl on the floor to start and go into the crowd, with James hitting him in the head with a trashcan. The fight heads into the balcony and walk around the arena, with James sending him into a table. Jarrett is back with a chair to the head to send James through another table, which is nearly enough for a countout as they both get inside for the first time. Jarrett hammers away again and hits a Stroke onto a chair for the pin at 7:19. They were in the ring together for about thirty seconds.

Rating: D-. What was that? Other than a way to get Jarrett his, ahem, long awaited title shot, what was the point of this? It was a brawl that took place in the crowd before a tacked on finishing move in the ring. Then again, none of that matters because the whole point of the thing is to get Jarrett into the title picture, which I guess now qualifies as interesting and important.

Tag Team Titles: Disciples Of The New Church vs. America’s Most Wanted

AMW is defending and run in through the crowd to start the brawl after last week’s beating. The fight heads to the floor and Slash is already busted open as Slash suplexes him on the stage. Back at ringside and a belt shot to the head busts Storm open, leaving Slash to give him the Eye of the Storm.

A spinning cutter gives Storm two of his own but Belladonna and James Mitchell offer distractions as everything breaks down. The distraction lets Slash hit Storm in the face with the belt for two but the referee gets bumped (like it matters). The Trash Compactor compacts Slash but Belladonna jumps on Storm’s back. That’s enough for Lee to hit Storm with the spike for the pin and the titles at 9:07.

Rating: C+. The lack of a DQ over the violence is just something you learn to live with around here. What matters the most is that it feels like we’re actually getting a story here. You can only get so far with AMW beating everyone in short order so they need some actual problems. That’s what they’re getting here and the Disciples are instantly a big deal. Nice job all around.

We look back at Kid Kash becoming the #1 contender to the X-Division Title last week. Then Jerry Lynn beat AJ Styles to win the same title.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Kid Kash vs. Jerry Lynn

Lynn is defending and Styles has Mortimer Plumtree in his corner. Styles gets dropkicked to the floor to start and then a double drop toehold does it again. Lynn and Kash trade armdrags for a standoff but Styles knocks Lynn outside. Plumtree offers a distraction so Styles can hit Lynn low but Kash gives Styles a twisting hurricanrana. Kash chops Lynn into the corner and hits a moonsault press for two.

Styles’ neckbreaker gets the same on Lynn, who gets back up to fire off forearms to Kash. Lynn is sent to the floor so Kash takes him down with a big dive, with Styles following with a springboard shooting star. Back in and Styles gets two but Kash clotheslines the other two down for a triple breather. A brainbuster drops Lynn, with Styles stealing the near fall. Lynn breaks up the Styles Clash with a clothesline before Kash backdrops Styles onto Plumtree. The cradle piledriver to Kash retains the title at 10:51.

Rating: B-. You could all but guarantee this was going to be good and that shouldn’t be a surprise. As usual, you have the group of wrestlers who dominate the division, but now we’re seeing some fresh blood enter the mix. Kash probably isn’t the next bit thing, but it’s nice to see another name added in here, just for the sake of some flavor if nothing else.

Bob Armstrong gives Don West next week’s card for the big over the top hype.

Jeff Jarrett talks about Ron Killings turning some heads as champion but for Jarrett, the title match is everything. This is what Jarrett has wanted to do since he was a boy so he’ll do whatever it takes to win the title, which is the absolute truth.

Overall Rating: C-. There were good parts here but you could also see some of the darker sides of the booking coming out this week. Stuff like Lawler and the Harris twins getting so much time is hard to watch, but that was at least somewhat mitigated by some fresh talent getting a change. There are still a lot of good things about the show, but they desperately need to refocus in some areas. If that happens, the talent will be enough to carry the rest, but I’m not sure I can see that taking place.

 

 

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NWA Weekly PPV #10
Date: August 21, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

Every time I do two of these in a row, I come in thinking I should get back to this series more often but then I change my mind completely before I start the second one. That’s certainly the case here, as last week’s show was terrible. It was a string of gimmick matches which set up another string of them this week, though thankfully this week’s string involves AJ Styles and Jerry Lynn. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Thank goodness Ed Ferrara is gone from commentary.

AJ Styles vs. Jerry Lynn

Falls Count Anywhere and the first of a three match series tonight. It’s a brawl to start with Lynn taking him outside, where Styles manages a whip into the steps. Styles strikes away before getting crotched on the barricade to cut him off rather quickly. They fight into the crowd with Styles evening things up a bit, including a running flip dive off the balcony. Styles rams him into the barricade but gets suplexed back to ringside for two.

Back in and they trade flips until Lynn gets in a Stunner. A powerbomb is countered into a faceplant for two, with Lynn getting his foot on the ropes. I’m not sure why that breaks the count in a falls count ANYWHERE match but we’ll move on. A neckbreaker gives Styles two but Lynn is back up with a hurricanrana to the floor. They slug it out on the stage where Lynn drops him with a discus lariat. Something like a bulldog off the stage gets two and it’s back to the stage where Lynn hits a cradle piledriver for the pin at 9:56.

Rating: B-. These two work well together and it makes sense for the two of them to be put together this many times on one show. At the same time, they didn’t stay out there too long to burn the fans out. If nothing else, having Styles getting a rub from Lynn, who is as smooth of an in-ring veteran as TNA has, is a great idea.

Chris Harris (smoking) wants James Storm to drop the cowboy thing for one night because they have a big fight. Brian Lee and Ron Harris come in to mock them, with Storm making western movie references. Storm seems to think he got them. Uh, right.

James Storm/Chris Harris vs. Ron Harris/Brian Lee

Storm and Lee start things off with Storm not being able to do much with the power game. A running forearm works a bit better and Ron is knocked outside as well. It’s off to Chris vs. Ron and it’s quickly time for the villains to have a conference on the floor. Back in and Ron hits some running corner clotheslines as everything breaks down. Chris is back with a headscissors while Storm beats up Lee on the floor.

Back in and Ron hits a swinging side slam for two and Lee grabs the chinlock. With that broken up, it’s back to Ron for a big boot. Chris fights out of trouble and makes the tag to Storm as everything breaks down. For some reason Lee gets in a fight with a fan in the front row, though there is nothing to suggest who it might be. Chris’ top rope shot to the back of the head snaps Ron’s throat across the top and Storm gets a rollup for the quick pin at 9:00.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t anything good to see, but what matters is Storm/Harris getting to work together and continue to grow as a team. They’re a good example of wrestlers who had nothing going on and it turned out they were a successful pairing. Thankfully TNA seems to be running with it as they now have a homegrown team who is turning into something.

Post match Ron and Lee jumps Storm and Chris to leave them laying.

Jimmy Yang vs. Sonny Siaki

2/3 falls and Jorge Estrada is here with Yang, who jumps Siaki as all three do their entrance together. They get inside for a spinwheel kick to Siaki, followed by a choke over the ropes. Siaki takes part of his top down (making it FAR easier to tell them apart), followed by a suplex cutter. Yang is right back with a neckbreaker though and Yang Time is good for the first fall at 3:30.

Another choke over the ropes is quickly broken up and Yang crashes to the floor. Siaki is back up with a suplex and they go back inside for the two count, setting up the chinlock. That doesn’t last long so Siaki grabs a pumphandle suplex for two instead. Yang fights up and hits a middle rope kick to the face, only for Siaki to grab a fisherman’s neckbreaker to tie it up at 8:27.

Siaki’s shoulder breaker gets two but Yang pulls him into a half crab. That’s broken up as well so Yang grabs a leglock. Siaki escapes that as well and is fine enough to hit a superplex. Yang is up first with a spinning kick to the chest but Siaki knocks him back down. They both go up to the same corner, where Yang manages a super swinging neckbreaker. Yang is back up with a rollup but Siaki reverses into one of his own and grabs the rope for the final pin at 14:09.

Rating: B-. I have no idea why this was 2/3 falls other than to stretch the match out a bit longer. Siaki definitely feels like the strongest of the three in the ring, though that ending of the third fall didn’t exactly work. Hopefully this gets Siaki out of the team though, as the trio isn’t getting anywhere at the moment.

Post match Jeff Jarrett storms out to say he wants to know what surprise Bob Armstrong has for him. Cue Brian Lawler to jump Jarrett and the brawl is on. Security breaks it up so Goldilocks goes into the ring to ask Lawler about his issues with Jarrett. Lawler is about to answer…and he gets jumped too. I’m really not sure if Lawler having issues with Jarrett is all that interesting.

Brian Lawler vs. Slash

The brawl is on with Lawler in trouble and they’re quickly on the floor. The mats get pulled back but Lawler reverses a suplex to take Slash down. Back in and Lawler flips the fans off as we hear about various problems in the New Church. They go outside again with Lawler hitting a bulldog on the ramp but stopping to yell at a fan. That’s enough for Slash to hit a top rope superplex for two, only for Lawler to come back with a DDT. Lawler stops to dance and gets kicked low but he’s fine enough to knock Slash off the top. The Tennessee Jam finishes for Lawler at 5:57.

Rating: C. It shouldn’t be surprising that things were fine enough here as these two had a long history in Memphis. At the same time, Lawler is only so interesting as this angry good guy, though it is likely a case of him being available rather than anything else. If nothing else, it’s nice to have Lawler stop talking about his dad, as that was killing him.

In the back, Jeff Jarrett argues with Bob Armstrong and leaves. We’re not finding out the surprise they advertised last week are we?

X-Division Title: Low Ki vs. Jose Maximo vs. Joel Maximo vs. Amazing Red

Ki is defending under elimination rules. All three challengers start hammering on Ki, who blasts them with kicks to the head. We settle down to Ki chopping Red but it’s too early for the Ki Crusher. Joel comes in for a tornado DDT to Ki and it’s quickly off to Jose. Ki is fine enough to kick both Maximos into the corner but Red comes in to pick up the pace. Everything breaks down and an Alabama Slam/neckbreaker combination drops Ki.

Red’s top rope hurricanrana sends Joel into Jose and Ki tosses Red onto both Maximos. Ki’s big twisting dive off the top takes all three of them down again, giving them a quick breather on the floor. Back in and Ki is knocked outside again, leaving Joel to hit a lifting sitout Pedigree to pin Jose at 9:07.

Back in and Ki kicks away at Joel but Red knocks Joel down and hits a twisting top rope splash for the elimination at 10:10. So it’s Red vs. Ki for the title, with Ki countering Code Red into something like an Alabama Slam into the corner. A super Ki Crusher is countered but the second attempt plants Red hard to retain the title at 12:08.

Rating: B-. Good enough, but this was similar to last week’s match against the Flying Elvises as there was no reason to believe that two of the three were going to have a chance. That leaves you a long time before we get to the one on one match and then it only lasts about two minutes. The match itself was a bunch of spots and Ki striking, which is a good way to bring Ki up even higher.

Ron Killings compares himself to Abraham Lincoln for freeing the Black sports entertainers. He has a dream too, and it involves kicking the dust off of Monty Brown.

NWA World Title: Ron Killings vs. Monty Brown

Brown is challenging and shoves him into the corner, allowing for some dancing. Three straight running shoulders give Brown two but Killings sends him crashing out to the floor. The big flip dive takes Brown down and Killings stomps away. They fight onto the announcers’ table, where Killings escapes the Alpha Bomb. West: “WHAT HAVE WE JUST SEEN???” Uh, two guys punching each other and one of them escaping a powerbomb before getting off the table?

Brown sends him flying and then takes it back inside for two. A Downward Spiral sets up Killings’ top rope legdrop for two and the chinlock goes on. That’s broken up so Killings hits a leg lariat for two more. Brown is back up with a powerslam into a splash for two of his own. Killings ax kicks him down for two so Brown tries the Alpha Bomb, which is reversed into something like a sunset bomb to retain the title at 10:13.

Rating: D+. To say Brown was green here would be a huge understatement and there was only so much that could be done in a situation like this. It helps that Killings is able to hang in there and do some of his stuff, but he needed someone better than Brown to make this work. Brown has all kinds of charisma but that isn’t enough to carry him through a ten minute match with this kind of importance.

Post match Jeff Jarrett is IMMEDIATELY in the ring to go after Killings but Brian Lawler comes in. Lawler grabs a chair but hits Killings by mistake, which he realizes is a big mistake.

Jerry Lynn is ready to finish AJ Styles for good but here is Styles to jump him from behind. Since the second match is No DQ, we’ll just start it in the back.

Jerry Lynn vs. AJ Styles

No DQ and Lynn is up 1-0. They strike it out and go inside with Lynn hitting a Stunner over the ropes. A table is set up but Styles cuts him off, with the table being turned over. Styles’ springboard dive hits the upside down table (ouch) but he’s right back up with a legdrop onto a chair onto Lynn. A catapult sends Styles face first into the chair in the corner though and Lynn hits the slingshot Fameasser in the ropes.

Lynn’s tornado DDT to the table on the floor is broken up and a double clothesline leaves both of them down. Lynn tries a sunset flip but Styles grabs the chair and cracks him in the head for the save (that was nice). Back up and Lynn hits a top rope hanging DDT onto a chair…and pulls Styles up at two (uh oh). Styles knocks him off the top but gets crotched, setting up a super hurricanrana through the ringside table (with Styles landing head first for a scary crash). Back in and Styles is fine enough to reverse another tornado DDT attempt into the Styles Clash onto the chair for the pin at 10:37.

Rating: C+. Another good enough match between the two of them and again they didn’t overstay their welcome. That’s something you need to do if you’re going to see them fighting over and over, especially if Styles was all but guaranteed to win and tie the series up. It was a bit too similar to their first match, though nothing bad whatsoever.

With the series tied, we’re having a ten minute Iron Man match for the final fall and it starts right now.

Jerry Lynn vs. AJ Styles

Ten minute Iron Man match and the winner gets an X-Division Title shot (ignore the clock on screen starting before the bell). Styles gets smart and pins the down Lynn at 11 seconds.

Styles – 1
Lynn – 0

Styles pins him again at 19 seconds.

Styles – 2
Lynn – 0

Lynn kicks out of a third cover and reverses a suplex into a neckbreaker for two. Styles grabs a sleeper to slow him down as we’re already two minutes in. Lynn fights up so Styles pulls him down by the hair and puts on the chinlock. Back up and Styles’ hurricanrana is countered into a faceplant to give Lynn a fall at 3:49.

Styles – 2
Lynn – 1

Lynn follows Styles’ plan by covering for an immediate two but Styles scores with a backdrop. We have five minutes left as Lynn comes back with the springboard Fameasser for two. Lynn goes up but gets caught in a Razor’s Edge Dominator (that was cool) and a delayed cover gives Styles another fall at 6:32 (even if the referee was a bit confused).

Styles – 3
Lynn – 1

Styles hammers away as Low Ki comes to watch, complete with a ladder. We have two minutes left as Lynn hits a tombstone for the pin at 8:13.

Styles – 3
Lynn – 2

Lynn can’t hit the cradle piledriver but can hit a Styles Clash to tie it up at 8:58.

Styles – 3
Lynn – 3

They trade very fast rollups but neither can get the pin as time expires at 10:00.

Rating: B-. This one saw the two of them getting the chance to show off their athleticism a bit more and Styles getting two falls at the start was very smart. I’m not wild on seeing the whole thing end in a draw, but otherwise, how else would we get to a triple threat title match? It didn’t get too insane, but Ki coming out with the ladder more or less guaranteed where this was going.

Post match Ki comes in and raises both of their arms, only to kick them down. Ki says the division is about the champion so next week it’s time to prove that he is the greatest in a ladder match.

Don West does his big hype package. Sweet goodness he is awesome at this stuff.

Referee Scott Armstrong asks his dad (Bob Armstrong, behind a door so we can’t see him) to not come after Jeff Jarrett. Bob says he has to and he has padding.

Jarrett is in the ring so here is Bob, in his Bullet mask and gear, with Jarrett beating him up. Jarrett calls him an old man and hammers away but Bullet fights back and clears Jarrett out. Hold on though as the real Bob Armstrong pops up on the stage with a chair. The Bullet unmasks as…well he doesn’t as we’ll see who that is next week.

Overall Rating: C+. This was actually a very interesting show because it was WAY toned down compared to everything else that they had been doing. That’s because the company was not doing well financially and they were doing things on a budget. Therefore, a bunch of people are gone and you have things like Styles and Lynn working three matches on a single show.

At the same time, my goodness this was SO much easier to watch without some of the terrible stuff. It was a much straighter show and while it might not work full time, it wasn’t the Dupps or Jive Talkin or all the other dumb ideas that get so much time. Granted it did have a bunch of Jeff Jarrett, but you know that’s coming every single week around here.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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NWA Weekly PPV #9
Date: August 14, 2002
Location: Tennessee State Fairgrounds, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West, Ed Ferrara

I really need to do these more often. Things have been a total mess around here, which is kind of the trademark of the promotion in its early run. Ron Killings has won the World Title and Don Harris is at war with the New Church because…I have absolutely no idea. Jeff Jarrett is still the star of the whole place while the X-Division guys continue to steal the show week in and week out. Let’s get to it.

Opening recap, looking at last week’s World Title change.

Opening sequence.

Here is new World Champion Ron Killings for a chat. Killings says this is his house, which he dubs the TNA Asylum. He has had to work harder because of the color of his skin. A senior WWF official told him that he couldn’t make the same mistakes as a white man. That’s too far, so from this day forward, he is a legend. Now he’s the World Champion, but here is Jeff Jarrett (teaming with Killings tonight) to say he can’t believe some of this nonsense.

Jarrett claims reverse racism because he has never gotten the same shot. Killings says come get your shot but cue Bill Behrens (with a ridiculous cowboy hat) and security to cut it off. Behrens makes a bunch of sheriff jokes and says Jarrett and Killings fan fight…but it won’t be sanctioned for the World Title. Cue Brian Lawler to go after Jarrett until security breaks it up. Lawler shouts about knowing it was Jarrett. Well of course it was. It’s always Jarrett.

Kid Kash/Shark Boy/Slim J vs. Amazing Red/Spanish Announce Team

Kash and Joel start fast and trade wrist control before exchanging armdrags for a standoff in a quick sequence. Kash flips him off and hits a running shoulder before backdropping him out to the floor. A slingshot hurricanrana takes Joel down again and we hit the parade of dives. J, Red and Kash all one up each other with flip dives and we settle down to Kash suplexing J onto Joel. Back up and everything breaks down, with the SAT’s tying up Boy and J in a Liontamer/camel clutch at the same time.

Red adds a springboard missile dropkick but gets kicked in the face by J. Kash comes back in to drop an elbow on Red and then hits a kind of super powerslam. It’s back to J, who misses a twisting top rope splash. Everything breaks down (shocking I know) and Kash runs the corner for a super hurricanrana. Boy’s Diamond Dust gets two on Red with Jose making the save. The Money Maker (Jay Driller) plants Red with Joel’s top rope legdrop breaking it up. The double super Spanish Fly hits J and Red’s very twisty splash finishes him off at 10:39.

Rating: B. This falls right into the classic formula of “take a bunch of people and let them fly all over the place to pop the crowd”. That’s all this was supposed to be and it was entertaining stuff. Red’s stuff continues to be insane and that was the case here, with Kash’s great looking hurricanranas not being too far behind.

The Dupps have an idea for their own version of Cribs, which is about their house…which is an outhouse. My goodness this is so dumb.

Here is Bruce to say he is more woman than anyone in this arena. All of the married men in this arena, including Mike Tenay, are fantasizing about him. The challenge is on, and he’ll throw in $5000 to any woman who can beat him. A woman from the crowd signs a quick contract and we’re ready to go.

Miss TNA: Bruce vs. ???

Bruce is defending and gets speared down to start, followed by a legdrop. A toss over the top sets up a slam on the floor, followed by another back inside. Then Bruce grabs a small package for the fast pin at 1:50. The woman shrugs it off with an “oh well”, because that’s what you should do here.

Jeff Jarrett wants the World Title and beats up Bill Behrens in the backroom. Then he runs into Low Ki for a staredown, followed by Tito and Bo Dupp bumping into each other. Thankfully for us, this means a match.

Don Harris vs. Malice

Last Man Standing and this is missing from WatchTNA because…well I’m guessing the SS on Harris’ shirt. Malice jumps him to start and gets taken down for his efforts. Harris chairs him in the head but Malice throws powder in Harris’ eyes. More powder blinds Harris again and Malice gets in a chair shot as Harris is busted open. Malice whips him into the barricade a few times and they go up to the stage, with Harris being tossed out to the floor.

That’s a bit too much selling for Harris though, as he comes back with a chain for some choking and a clothesline. It’s time for a table and Harris kicks a chair into Malice’s face. Malice gets in a powerbomb but pulls Harris up for a chokeslam. That’s countered into a DDT but Malice is back up with a belly to back superplex through the table. Naturally only Harris gets up for the win at 7:08.

Rating: D. If you have a Last Man Standing match, maybe A, have it go longer than ten minutes and B, don’t have the SECURITY GUARD beat the former #1 contender to the World Title. The fact that Malice hit the finishing move here and then lost anyway should tell you everything wrong with this match, but there was so much else wrong with the thing that it’s not even covering the biggest issue. Horrible stuff here as Don Harris continues to be far too big of a star.

Post match respect is shown, and if you have the respect of DON HARRIS, you’re going places.

Dupp Cup: Teo vs. Bo Dupp

The first to ten points wins and if you think I’m keeping score, I have no idea what to tell you. Teo starts fast and sends him into a chair, followed by ripping off the pants and hitting him with a stick horse. It doesn’t count for points though because Bo likes it and yes, someone was paid to come up with this nonsense.

Stan Dupp offers a distraction and Bo gets in a big boot as Don West is actually trying to keep track of the points (doing commentary with a solo mic at ringside, reportedly because Mike Tenay didn’t want to be part of this). Stan goes to the ticket window where the woman in charge beats on him with a broom. Bo takes Teo to the outhouse but Puppet is inside with a kendo stick. That’s enough for Bo to be send face first into the hole to give Teo the win at 4:25.

Rating: F-. I…what do you want me to say here? This was every bit as stupid as you could have imagined and then it just kept getting worse. I’m sure the people backstage were roaring with laughter over it, but if your commentator, and one of the most prominent, well respected people you have, is washing your hands so you can do an outhouse joke, it’s way past time to think about what you’re doing.

We recap Monty Brown vs. Elix Skipper, with Skipper turning on him (after they won a match) and Brown wanting revenge.

Monty Brown vs. Elix Skipper

Detroit Street Fight. Before the match, Skipper calls out Brown for the fight and then gets jumped from behind because Skipper is kind of dumb. Brown hammers away to start and chokes him over the ropes with a shirt. Skipper gets in a chain shot to the ribs and chokes away, which is shrugged off without much effort.

Back in and some trashcan/lid shots slow Brown down, with Skipper adding in a Matrix to send Brown crashing. A slingshot dive onto the can onto Brown gets two on the floor but Brown is back up with the Alphalution (kind of a reverse F5). The Alpha Bomb onto a trashcan (onto a stop sign because reasons) finishes Skipper at 5:45.

Rating: C. I can go with pushing Brown as a star as he has more charisma than should be allowed, but this was another violent gimmick match crammed into way too short of a time limit. As is the case so often around here, this stuff needs time to breathe and that isn’t what we’re getting with just about anything. Brown is going to be a force though, as even TNA shouldn’t be able to screw him up.

The Flying Elvises are all ready to challenge for the X-Division Title. They’re fired up because it’s 25 years since Elvis died and Sonny Siaki is going to win the title in his honor. As in his own honor, because he hates Elvis. Hence being in a stable called the FLYING ELVISES. Other than that, I’m trying to figure out why Goldilocks is in her third different outfit in an hour.

X-Division Title: Low Ki vs. Sonny Siaki vs. Jimmy Yang vs. Jorge Estrada

Ki is defending and this is elimination rules. Siaki and Ki start things off as we’re actually tagging here. Ki fights him into the corner early on but gets powerbombed out. Estrada comes in and grabs a Regal Roll but the Lionsault is countered. Some kicks rock Estrada for two, with Siaki having to break up a dragon sleeper.

The Elvises aren’t happy with each other so Yang comes in with a middle rope spinwheel kick. Yang chokes him over the ropes but Ki is quickly out of a sleeper. Estrada comes back in and takes out Yang, including a springboard flip dive on the floor. Back in and Yang hits a dropkick into a Boston crab, which he bends back really fast and Estrada taps immediately for the elimination at 6:41.

Ki comes in so Yang hits him with a missile dropkick for two. Yang Time is loaded up but Siaki crotches him down, setting up the Ki Crusher at 7:56 to get us down to one on one. Siaki comes in with a pop up cutter for two but Ki is back with a springboard kick to the face. Siaki manages a shot to the face, only to get sent into Yang as he’s still on the apron. Ki rolls him up to retain at 9:22.

Rating: B-. They only had so much time here as you had three eliminated to cover in the span of less than ten minutes. At the same time, the Elvises are having issues and that’s likely going to lead to something going south sooner or later. As for Ki, it’s a good move to have him beat all three members of the team to retain, as that’s going to make anyone look strong.

Earlier today, Goldilocks (outfit #4) got in a car with Jerry Lynn, who made a short drive to another building and beat up AJ Styles, knocking him into a bathtub and demanding respect.

Disco Inferno is back with Jive Talking and brings out actor Dean Baldwin (read as Shark Boy without a mask) to talk about his upcoming movie. This leads Disco to asking about Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger’s bedroom habits. Cue Brian Lawler who rants about Jeff Jarrett doing…something. Baldwin: “Who are you? What are your credentials?” Lawler takes Baldwin out and we still don’t know what Jarrett did. Security throws Lawler out.

Goldilocks (outfit #5) watches the Dupps freak out. Stan is leaving and Goldilocks isn’t sure what Bo should do. Bo: “Thank you for caring.”

Tag Team Titles: Jeff Jarrett/Ron Killings vs. AJ Styles/Jerry Lynn

Styles and Lynn are defending but Styles isn’t here to start. That means Lynn gets beaten down but here is Styles to even things up. House is cleaned and Styles hits Jarrett with the drop down dropkick for an early two. A Lionsault to the floor connects for Styles but he gets dropped onto the barricade. That leaves Lynn to monkey flip Killings inside and a middle rope bulldog gets two.

We settle down to Jarrett stomping away on Lynn and Killings comes in for a wheelbarrow faceplant. The ax kick gets two on Lynn, who is right back with the Figure Four to Jarrett, who turns it over in literally less than two seconds. Since this is TNA, commentary insults Lynn for being dumb for trying a Figure Four on Jeff Jarrett.

Killings puts Lynn on top but gets taken down with a tornado DDT for a needed breather. That’s enough for the tag off to Styles so house can be cleaned. Everything breaks down and Styles flips over Jarrett but the referee gets decked. Lynn’s reverse DDT drops Jarrett and Cradle Piledrives Killings but Jarrett is up for the save. Jarrett gives Lynn the Stroke and Styles his the Spiral Tap on Killings for a double pin at 12:24.

Rating: C+. Oh there it is. That’s the big ending that Russo loves as not only do we have the two teams who don’t get along, but now they have a screwy finish to hold up the titles. Odds are we’ll either get a rematch, a ladder match or a tournament of some kind because it gets the titles off of Lynn and Styles without having them lose. It’s not a bad match, but dang it feels like a lame way to end the title reign.

Post match Bob Armstrong comes out to say the titles are held up. Next week, it’s Killings for Monty Brown for the World Title and Lynn vs. Styles for a future X-Division Title shot match. Lynn wants falls count anywhere. Styles wants anything goes. Armstrong says sure, and it’s going to be 2/3 falls, with the third fall being a ten minute iron man match. As for Jarrett, he gets a special opponent next week.

Don West does the big push for next week’s show.

Brian Lawler attacks Jeff Jarrett in the back and shouts about wanting to kill him. Geez what did he do? Make him watch Jeff Jarrett matches?

Overall Rating: D. As usual, the matches where it’s played a lot straighter are far easier to watch. Case in point, we had something as simple as a six man tag as the opener and it was by far the best thing on the show. After that, it was man vs. woman, a Last Man Standing match, the Dupp Cup nonsense, a street fight and then a four way before a screwy tag match to wrap up the show. That’s WAY too much going on at once (including ANYTHING involving the Dupps) and some of it is absolutely horrible. There are fun parts to the show but as usual, they’re all so bogged down and it’s killing the positives. As per Russo.

 

 

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