Joey Janela’s Spring Break X: The Immortal Cluster****: They Know Their Audience

Joey Janela’s Spring Break: The Immortal Cluster****
Date: April 18, 2026
Location: Horseshoe Las Vegas, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: John Mosley, Veda Scott, Jordan Castle

Ah this show. I have no idea what to expect from this show and that is what makes it so fun. This show is more or less the big song and dance medley to end Wrestlemania Weekend as there are probably 50 or more people thrown into a totally ridiculous battle royal, which will probably last about an hour and a half at minimum. Other than that there is a violent cage match and that’s the whole card. Let’s get to it.

Here is Night One if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at Otis Cogar attacking Matt Tremont, who swore revenge. Tonight, they’re in a cage.

Opening sequence.

Ultraviolent Title: Otis Cogar vs. Matt Tremont

Cogar is defending in a cage with a bunch of weapons available. They slug it out to start instead of going for the weapons, with Cogar being sent into a pane of glass. Cogar is whipped face first into some light tubes and it’s already time for the fork to the head. It works so well that Tremont does it again and again but Cogar gets in a light tube shot. Tremont gets sent through a barbed wire board and then has a pane of glass broken over his back.

Some plastic baseball bats, covered with tacks, whack Tremont some more to draw even more blood. Cogar whips out a blade to pick the tacks out of Tremont’s head and then slices the webbing of Tremont’s fingers. The chair is put on Tremont’s head and Cogar goes up, only to get knocked back down. Cogar is Death Valley Drivered through a door and Tremont tapes him to the rope.

Tremont breaks a bunch of light tubes over Cogar’s head, which brings out Atticus Cogar and Christian Napier. The former’s distraction lets Napier get inside to chair Tremont down. Tremont fights back but Otis chairs Tremont in the head. Otis goes up top but misses a moonsault into the glass. Atticus and Napier get taped into the corner and Tremont chairs them in the head for a bonus. Tremont puts a bundle of light tubes on Otis’ chest and hits a frog splash for the pin and the title at 16:25.

Rating: D+. Yeah…not my thing. It was pretty much exactly the kind of stuff I can’t stand with this with blood and gore for the sake of blood and gore. That’s exactly how it was advertised, but dang this stuff plays into every stereotype this genre has. Tremont is a big star in this world and it’s a big win for him, but it’s just not for me.

Since cleanup takes a long time, we look at a bunch of stuff from Spring Break X, including:

The Invisible Man defeating Sandman in Sandman’s retirement match

Marko Stunt/Jack Perry beating KJ Orso/Sam Stackhouse, with ring announcer Emil J getting involved

Effy beating Allie Katch to end her GCW career

Atticus Cogar beating Hayabusa to retain the World Title

Brodie Lee Jr. beating Joey Janela in the main event

We get highlights of Bear Bronson winning the Nick Gage Invitational over Otis Cogar in December 2025.

We look at John Wayne Murdoch beating Vipress in a death match in March 2025.

We look at shows from last year.

We look at Brodie Lee Jr. winning last year’s Cluster.

We look at a six person tag in July 2025 with Megan Bayne beating up some men.

We look at 1 Called Manders losing a match in Japan in July 2025.

We look at Bustah And The Brain winning the Tag Team Titles last year at Spring Break.

We look at more of the six person tag.

We take a quick look at one match in the two day JCW vs. GCW war.

We look at the last two Tag Team Title changes.

We look at a six person lucha tag from December 2025.

We look at Jordan Oliver vs. Frankie Kazarian from September 2025.

The Tournament Of Survival is coming.

We look at a show in Japan in July 2025.

We look at a show in Japan in August 2024.

We look at another show in Japan in August 2024.

We look at the first Cluster.

We look at a third show in Japan in August 2024.

We look at a show in Japan in July 2025.

We look at the first August 2024 Japan show again.

And now, about fifty minutes after the previous match ended, we cluster.

Immortal Clusterf***

There are an unknown number of entrants with unspecified times. You are eliminated via pinfall, submission, over the top, leaving the building or death. Also note that the numbers are likely to be all over the place as you’ll see groups of wrestlers enter together. The eliminations will be a mess too as you’ll see people sitting around for long, long stretches without doing anything and then getting back in.

Man Like DeReiss is in at #1 and Marcus Mathers is in at #2, with the former rapping himself to the ring and the latter being carried. They go with a pinfall reversal sequence for one each before running the rope rather quickly. Mathers hits a dropkick and they both go through/underneath the ropes to the floor. Sam Holloway, with Alex Abrahantes, is in at #3 and starts kicking away. Bustah And The Brain are listed at #4 and come in about ten seconds after Holloway.

Everyone but DeReiss goes after Holloway and knock him to the floor as the Backseat Boyz are in at #5. The tag teams get in a double brawl as Holloway beats Mathers around the arena. JP double Blockbusters Bustah And The Brain as the Boyz’s manager gets inside. She moonsaults onto a bunch of people on the floor and Tom Shire is in at #6. A double chokeslam gets rid of the Boyz and it’s Holloway vs. Shire as Shotzi Blackheart is in at #7. Mathers clotheslines Holloway out and Blackheart gives DeReiss an X Factor.

Brick Savage, also with Abrahantes (who says almost the same thing) is in at #8. Savage beats up DeReiss and Mathers before powerbombing the heck out of Blackheart. Shire comes back in to boot Savage in the face and everyone is down as Nate Webb is in at #9, meaning we get the Teenage Dirtbag entrance, always a highlight of this thing. He’s just getting going though and it’s B3cca and her tag team in at #10 to beat up Webb. Kingsley and I want to say Shay Kassidy are in at #11 and do their own singing entrance to cut off B3cca’s song.

Ro and Jui (Mariachis) are in at #12 to clear the ring and give B3cca a swinging Boss Man Slam. DeReiss grabs the mic and asks what in the name of gimmick infringement is this. Kingsley says they need to stop fighting because they’re all in this together. And then they sing We’re All In This Together from High School Musical. KJ Orso is in at # 13 and says no one wants to hear them sing and dance so everyone beats on him. Blackheart knocks DeReiss out by mistake though and it’s Sam Stackhouse in at #14.

Ro Jui are out, with Stackhouse also getting rid of B3cca’s goons. B3cca eliminates herself and Orso gets rid of Webb. Kingsley and Kassidy are out, the latter off a kick to the head/piledriver combination. Savage comes back in to plant Orso but Stackhouse dumps Savage out. Savage is back up to get rid of Stackhouse though and it’s 1 Called Manders in at #15. Manders and Shire get in the ring as a bunch of people get back in, including Bustah And The Brain. The teams slug it out and it’s Flyin Ryan O’Neil in at #16 to beat up Orso.

Wyatt/Wayne Rhodes, the nephews of Cody/Dustin Rhodes, are in at #17. They start fast with Shattered Dreams to O’Neil and Mathers before staring down Manders and Shire. Fans: “COWBOY S***!” O’Neil keeps messing with them and gets tossed out, with Stackhouse still there to catch him. Mathers is out and it’s Bustah And The Brain beating up the Rhodes, with Wyatt eliminating Wayne by mistake. An assisted Blockbuster pins Wyatt and the Rhodes are gone.

Brook Havok is in at #18 and strikes away at Shire. Manders is back in to take Havok down and it’s Dark Sheik in at #19. They team up to beat on Manders, stop to kiss, and then beat up Orso. Matt Mako is in at #20 to strike away at Orso, with an elbow getting two. A powerbomb gets two on Sheik and Beastman is in at #21. Beastman powerbombs Havok onto Mako for a double pin and Sheik’s top rope dive bounces off of him. Sheik manages to knock him to the apron though and a 619 to the back of the head gets rid of Beastman.

Sean Ross Sapp of all people is in at at #22 and yells at Bryan Alvarez, who is in the front row. Alvarez is in at #23 and chops away at Sapp. Alvarez hits a superkick to pin Sapp but Orso kicks Alvarez for the pin and then throws him over the top (Emil J: “Bryan Alvarez has been eliminated. Twice.”). Blackheart kicks Orso low and tosses him out and it’s Stunt Marshall (from freaking Power Slap) in at #24.

Juicy Finau is in at #25 and teases a slap off with Marshall, who pokes him in the eye. That earns Marshall a slap out of the ring so Manders gives Finau a slap on the back of the fights. Finau eliminates Manders and Hollyhood Haley J is in at #26. Marshall gets back in to eliminate Finau and Killer Kelly is in at #27. Airica Demia is back in at #28 and goes after Sheik as Gisele Shaw is in at #29. The women all get together to kick each other down, with Shaw getting up first to toss Demia.

Kelly gets up and starts biting people before leaning over the ropes to offer herself for some biting as well. The other four oblige her but also eliminate her, which shouldn’t be a surprise. Shaw and Sheik eliminate each other and it’s Jazzy Yang/Terry Yaki/Jay Lucas/Bobby Flacco in at #30. Alex Abrahantes is back and introduces his third entrant: thee Invisible Man.

The Man beats up Yang and company before tossing out Bustah And The Brain. Manders gets lariated and tossed as well but Shire gets Man in the airplane spin. A big boot misses though and Shire is tossed. Man drops Yang for the pin and tosses Lucas out before getting rid of Flacco as well. The Man flies through the air for a DDT to Yaki for the elimination. Helix/Channing Decker/Ian Maxwell/Emily Jaye are in at #31 and get beaten up by the Man, who knocks Maxwell out.

Helix is tossed but Jaye hits Man low. Jaye and Decker double team the Man but he ducks a shot, causing them to kiss. A rollup finishes Jaye and a chair shot gets rid of Decker. Enter Sandman starts up but it’s Joey Janea in at #32 instead. Janela slams the Man down and a brainbuster onto the turnbuckle gets two. Man is back with four straight Canadian Destroyers for two. Janela says I’m sorry, I love you and superkicks Man for the pin.

Starman, who was at the WrestleCon Supershow and seemed to be portrayed by Janela, is in at #33. Starman gets frozen though and gets unmasked as Starboy Charlie, which wakes him up. A kick to the face and standing corkscrew moonsault gets two on Janela. Charlie’s standing hurricanrana pins Janela as Blackheart comes back in. A powerbomb plants Charlie for two and it’s Jimmy Lloyd (who is apparently rather different than usual) to beat up Charlie and flip him down for the pin.

Don Freeze is in at #34 and crushes Lloyd in the corner, followed by a northern lights suplex. Maya World is in at #35 and puts some sunglasses on Freeze but can’t roll him up. World hits a superkick and moonsault for two on Freeze as Lloyd is back in. LJ Cleary is in at #36 and hits Freeze low. Monomoth is in at #37 and hits a Thesz press on Cleary to hammer away. D’Lo Brown, doing guest commentary, is in a #38 and eliminates Cleary. The Sky High plants Freeze and Brown tosses him out.

Monomoth says he doesn’t know Brown, which isn’t working for Brown, who tosses Monomoth out. Brown isn’t sure what to do with World, who slaps Brown in the face. She tries a hurricanrana, which is blocked at first but eventually gets rid of Brown, leaving World alone in the ring (I have no idea who else might be left). Nixi XS is in at #39 and kicks World out underneath the ropes.

Sleepy Ed is in at #40 and everyone starts whispering as he takes his nap. XS tries to cover him but has to fight out of his sleeper (I sense a theme here). Then she tells him to wake up and stomps in the corner as Sam Osborne and about five others from Australia are in at #41. Blackheart is back up as the team is already fighting among themselves. And now…here are three dinosaurs in at #42.

The dinosaurs slug it out with the Aussies and toss two of them before pinning Osborne. Thee other Aussies are out and Ed is up to spit Nyquil at two dinosaurs. A third tries a full nelson but doesn’t have the arms. Instead Ed Nyquils that one too and “the dinosaurs have gone extinct.” Parrow is in at #43 so Ed goes to sleep. That leaves Parrow to slowly roll him over for a VERY quiet near fall. Logan Cavazos is in at #44 as “the twink gauntlet” (their words, not mine) has begun.

Juni Underwood is in at #45 and pokes Parrow in the eye to little avail. Anakin Murphy is in at #46 (Parrow: “GIVE ME ANOTHER TWINK!”) and Cass (I think) is in at #47. Emil J: “THE TWINKS HAVE BEEN UNLEASHED!” They go after Parrow, who tosses them all in a row. Classy Ali is in at #48 and is tossed just as fast. Sal Mistretta, with his football, is in at #49 and gets the same treatment. Cereal Man (with a head made of box of cereal) is in at #50. Parrow gets some Frosted Flakes poured in his mouth but Cereal loses his gear and gets tossed.

XS comes in to go after Parrow’s nipples and hits some gyrating knees in the corner. Parrow tosses her as well and it’s CPA in at #51. Parrow goes to toss him but only steals his tie. CPA puts a tie on Parrow’s tights and is quickly knocked down. Bear Bronson is in at #52 for a Black Hole Slam to Parrow and it’s Debbie Forza in at #53. They get together and dump Parrow, with Forza kissing Bronson and then Jackhammering him for the pin. Haley J (Remember what I said about people doing nothing for long stretches?) is back in to knock Forza down and it’s 25 Cent in at #54.

A stomp to Haley’s foot lets Cent roll her up for the pin and it’s Jimmy Lloyd (The…original? Commentary is confused too.) in at #55. A Michinoku Driver gets rid of Cent…and the other Lloyd gets in for a fight. A flipping slam pins the “real” Lloyd (the one who was in first) and it’s Heath in at #56. The Zig Zag gets rid of “the fake Jimmy Lloyd” and it’s Mullet Man in at #57. Heath kicks him down and hits a big boot and legdrop for two. Tombstone Jesus (oh dear) is in at #58 and teams up with Mullet Man to get rid of Heath.

Forza gets back up to spear Jesus out and Shotzi helps her get rid of Mullet Man. Vipress is in at #59 and kisses Blackheart while loading up Sister Abigail. Forza breaks that up so Vipress and Blackheart kick her down as Frank The Clown is in at #60. Since he’s one of the most annoying commentators I’ve ever heard, he gets a mic to complain about how he’s been treated so badly over the years. The three women hit him low and give him a big stomping as Slade is in at #61. Slade throws Frank in a trashcan and Frank is declared “dead”.

Slade goes after CPA (who takes off his first shirt) and a team called the Production is in at #62. The three women toss them out rather quickly and then jump Slade. Tara Zep is in at #63 and grabs a chair to beat on the bleeding Slade. Zep DDTs her way out of Forza’s gorilla press and it’s Toby Klein in at #64. That means a slow entrance and it’s Connor Claxton, with his own chair, in at #65.

Claxton slams Zep for the elimination and it’s Dr. Redacted, with his barbed wire board, in at #66 as the final entrant. Commentary says he’s #69 and after almost two and a half hours, I’ll go with that. Redacted gets rid of Claxton and hits Forza with a chair. Forza is out and Redacted goes up to dive…and eliminates himself. CPA loses his second shirt and gets kicked low, with Blackheart being chokeslammed onto him. Slade tosses CPA and Vipress, leaving him alone with Blackheart. Some chair shots to the back have Blackheart in trouble but she tosses him out for the win at 2:30:00.

Rating: B-. I mean…it’s the Cluster. What in the world do you want me to say about something like this? The whole point is just to have every wrestler or gimmick that they can find and throw them out there and yeah of course it works. It’s just goofy fun and while it goes on for the better part of ever, I still enjoy it every year. Fun stuff, as always, with the winner being little more than a detail.

Overall Rating: C+. Again, this isn’t a show where the rating means a single thing and I think you know that by now. The point of this show is to do something ridiculous as the big GCW show was over last night. I had enough fun with this and that’s all I can ask for. It’s nothing that would work most of the time but in this spot, it worked rather well. If you like this stuff, you’ll like this and if not, I totally get it.

Results
Matt Tremont b. Otis Cogar – Frog splash onto a bundle of light tubes
Shotzi Blackheart won the Immortal Clusterf*** last eliminating Slade

 

 

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Joey Janela’s Spring Break: Cluster**** Forever: As Advertised

Joey Janela’s Spring Break: Cluster**** Forever
Date: April 6, 2024
Location: Penns Landing Caterers, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Dave Prazak, Veda Scott

This is the second half of Spring Break, with a two match card. Naturally this includes a Punjabi Prison match, but the big draw is the Cluster**** Battle Royal, which is only a match with actual structure in the loosest of terms. There will probably be more than fifty entrants with loosely timed intervals, but the real fun is seeing who shows up. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on the Punjabi Prison match.

Tag Team Titles: Violence Is Forever vs. Juicy Finau/Zilla Fatu vs. Los Macios vs. Bollywood Boyz

Violence Is Forever (Kevin Ku/Dominic Garrini) is defending and Los Macios are Ciclope/Miedo Extremo. The Boyz are carried on fans’ shoulders to the ring, which is surrounded by the bamboo style cage. This is one fall to a finish, meaning it’s not quite a Punjabi Prison match but I’ll take what I can get under the circumstances.

Fatu and Finau clean house to start, with Finau and Garrini fighting to the floor (as in outside of the cage) where Garrini gets beaten up. Los Macios hit Ku with a double flapjack but can’t manage to double suplex the rather large Ku. The Boyz are back up with a Bollywood Blast to Ku before double teaming Fatu down. Finau wrecks Finau as more people go to the floor to brawl.

Gurv is busted open and Ciclope grabs an electric tool, which can’t go well for anyone. Los Macios manage to knock Finau down inside, at least partially thanks to a chair, leaving Fatu to Samoan drop Harv off the cage through some doors at ringside. About ten chair shots and a Samoan drop put Finau down again as Ciclope climbs the cage.

Fatu Samoan Spikes him down and then dives back in with Garrini having to make a save. A spike piledriver hits Gurv…who pops right back up. The champs chair him down and then do the same to Finau. We pause for the sake of spending forever to set up a double stack door. The top rope double stomp to Finau gives Ku the retaining pin at 14:26.

Rating: C+. What is there to say about a match like this? It’s total insanity with all kinds of things going on at once. That’s kind of the point, and while the cage itself was only kind of used at times, I think I like the idea of having people coming and going. Having eight people in the ring at once is a mess, so I’ll take carnage going throughout the arena and ringside over everyone in the ring and not being able to move.

We look at upcoming shows as it’s going to take some time to get the cage down.

Commentary hypes up the Cluster as we stay on the graphic of upcoming events.

Before the Cluster starts, here is GCW World Champion Black Christian, with Shane Mercer, for a chat. Christian talks about how Joey Janela couldn’t finish the story last night at Spring Break and it wasn’t the first time he was bigger, stronger and could last longer than Janela. Cue Janela from behind to powerbomb Christian and hit him with a package piledriver. Mercer and Janela brawl outside…and here is Mance Warner, who has a guaranteed title shot at any time. Warner loads up the screwdriver but Effy comes in to brawl with Warner to the back.

We preview the Cluster, which is about having all kinds of people, with no idea of who or how many people will be entering.

Cluster****

There are unknown entrants and you can be eliminated by pin, submission, over the top, leaving the building and death. It’s Royal Rumble style (with the rules and intervals being loose at best) with Jimmy Lloyd, in a neck brace after last night, in at #1. Before the match he rips on Philadelphia before bringing out Matt Cardona and Steph de Lander. Well in theory that is but instead it’s Shane Douglas coming in at #2.

Shane hits a quick belly to belly for the pin and the elimination, allowing him to stop and talk about the history of wrestling here in Philadelphia. All of the promotions around here can kiss his a** but here is Shota in at #3. A dropkick staggers Douglas but he’s back with the belly to belly for the pin. Bam Sullivan is in at #4 and flips off Douglas, who hammers away. Sullivan knocks him down and gets two off a splash but Douglas bites him in the head. A running clothesline of all things gets rid of Sullivan and it’s Lindsay in at #5.

Douglas doesn’t think much of her so she hits him low for two. The camel clutch goes on but Jason Knight comes in, presumably at #6, to kiss Snow and toss her out. Rob S*** is in at #7 and beats on both of them until Knight dumps him. The Carnage Crew (Loc and DeVito) are in at #8 and #9 but they’re both out just as fast. Tommy Dreamer is in at #10 and yeah the fans approve as the ECW reunion continues. Justin Credible pops in, I guess at #11, and leaves with Jason without doing anything.

That leaves Dreamer vs. Douglas with a quick DDT getting rid of Douglas as the Impact Players (Knight/Credible) are officially eliminated due to leaving. Rina Yamashita is in at #12 and they slug it out, with Rina grabbing a testicular claw. An enziguri drops Dreamer and Tony Deppen is in at #13 (Rina rolls her eyes). Rina rolls outside (not eliminated) and 1 Called Manders is in at #14. Brawling ensues until Charlie Tiger is in at #15. That goes nowhere so Jeffrey John is in at #16 as the ring is starting to fill up.

Facade is in at #17 for some kicks to stagger various people. The intervals pick up as Masha Slamovich is in at #18. Slamovich avoids a dropkick and chokes John out for the elimination. Tiger gets choked out as well before Slamovich crotches Facade on top and gets rid of him. Deppen tries to get rid of Slamovich but Dreamer throws him out instead. Trevor Outlaw and Frank The Clown are in at #19 and #20 with Outlaw trying a cheap shot on Dreamer, who grabs a DDT.

Slamovich tosses Dreamer and pins Outlaw as Marcus Mathers is in at #21. Mathers kicks Rina back out to the floor (again not out) and Parrow is in at #22. Frank The Clown has left the building (he never got in the ring) for an elimination and it’s Mike Bailey in at #23 (you knew he was coming). Everyone goes after the large Parrow, who tosses Bailey. Parrow puts Slamovich down for the pin as well and it’s Pollo del Mar in at #24. Pollo is tossed rather quickly and it’s Dark Sheik, Edith Surreal and Jamie Senegal in at #25, #26 and #27.

They all strike away at Parrow, including a trio of Shattered Dreams. Parrow goes through the ropes (not out) and it’s Cheech and Colin Delaney in at #28 and #29. They go after the trio but can’t get rid of anyone as the Main Event (Jay Lion/Midas Black) are in at #30 and #31. Some rather snazzy double team moves have Cheech and Delaney in trouble, albeit not eliminated. Dives through the ropes take Cheech and Delaney down as the Ugly Sucklings (White Mike and Rob Killjoy) are in at #32 and #33.

The Sucklings beat up both tag teams but can’t get rid of anyone as Davey Bang and August Matthews are in at #34 and #35. That means they get to clean house with some dives as even more people get to lay around on the floor. Cheech and Delaney come back in but get dropped with clotheslines as Bobby Flaco, Terry Yaki, Aerial Van Go and Mr. Danger come in together at #36, #37, #38 and #39.

The four of them go after Delaney, with a hurricanrana into a phoenix splash getting rid of him, with Cheech being thrown out just after. Flaco plants Black for the elimination and a twisting Canadian Destroyer gets rid of Lion. Bang and Matthews are back up to get rid of Mike and Killjoy. Fuego del Sol and Sam Stackhouse are in at #40 and #41 with the much bigger Stackhouse going after Matthews.

Del Sol and Stackhouse knock Matthews and Bang down for stereo pins to clear the ring, not counting all of the people still either on the floor or gone. Stackhouse and del Sol beat up some of the foursome before a ladder is brought in. A moonsault onto said ladder gets rid of Flaco and Yaki but Van Go and Danger use the ladder to drop Stackhouse and del Sol. They both climb the ladder and Van Go headscissors Danger onto the pile on the floor, meaning they’re both eliminated.

Green Phantom is in at #42 and Sexxxy Eddy follows him, apparently at #43. Eddy comes to the ring in a towel and puts his tights on before getting inside to chair Stackhouse down. Mathers comes back in and gets hit low by Eddy but Manders gets back in as well. A double clothesline puts Manders down and it’s Tara Zep in at #44.

Eddy gyrates a lot and Phantom knocks Zep face first into Eddy’s trunks. Phantom slams Zep onto a chair for the elimination and Tank is in at #45. Tank beats up Eddy and Phantom but Manders is back in again for a slugout. They trade headbutts until Tank hammers him into the corner with both of them busted open. Tank headbutts Manders down and it’s Matters coming back in for another slugout. CPA (yes he’s an accountant) is in at #46 and takes off his shirt and tie to reveal….the same shirt and tie.

We’ll make that three layers as he hits a slow motion 619 on Tank. Everyone but CPA goes under the ropes to the floor and it’s Alex Zayne in at #47. Mathers takes Zayne’s place and is sent outside (not out again) as Philly Mike is in at #48. Mike knocks Mathers into the corner and it’s Spyder Nate Webb in at #49 for the full Teenage Dirt Bag entrance. Other wrestlers dance with him at ringside before Webb conducts the fans to sing the song with him.

With the song done, Webb takes a bow and gets inside, beer in hand. The fans want the song to be played again and that is in fact what happens as commentary points out that it is 2am local time. Philly Mike finally jumps Webb, who hands him a beer and then hammers him down. They fight to the floor and Mike walks out for an elimination. Webb follows and he’s out too, taking some of the energy from the crowd. Said energy picks up again as ring announcer Emil Jay enters at #50 but is tossed out almost immediately.

Eddy gets to gyrate a bit and it’s Cheeseburger in at #51. Cheeseburger ties Eddy in the Tree of Woe and sends Phantom face first into his tights, which is enough for an elimination. Eddy’s tights are pulled off and he has to fight with his hands covering himself. That lets Cheeseburger toss him out and Man Like DeReiss is in at #52. As usual, DeReiss raps himself to the ring and throws out CPA in the process. Monomoth (he has wings) is in at #53 and Zayne isn’t sure what to do with him.

A quick rollup gets rid of Zayne and Mercedes Martinez is in at #54 so Mathers comes back in (there are all kinds of people just sitting/strolling around at ringside) and is quickly fisherman’s bustered out. Surreal and Senegal (See what I mean?) come back in to go after Martinez, with Sheik joining them but getting eliminated. Surreal saves Senegal but Martinez DDTs both of them for the double elimination. DeReiss comes back in and low bridges Martinez out as Kaplan is in at #55.

Kaplan sets up doors and chairs on the floor as Manders and Stackhouse get back in. Del Sol is back in as well as Sawyer Wreck (with a bad arm) is in at #56. Kaplan misses a moonsault and gets thrown through the doors for the elimination. Wreck comes in as Brandon Kirk and Kasey Catal are in at #57 and #58.

Manders and Kirk are eliminated by their respective (romantic) partners….and then Wreck and Catal kiss. They leave together and they’re both out (Emil Jay: “Sawyer Wreck and Kasey Catal have left the building….together.”). Jordan Oliver is in at #59 to dropkick Tank out but Parrow is back in for a chokeslam. Monomoth is back in and is quickly tossed as Beastman is in at #60.

Beastman chokebombs Parrow but Stackhouse comes in and takes his shirt off, giving us a lot of jiggling. DeReiss chops at the huge Stackhouse and Beastman before tossing both of them out for the big eliminations. Viva Van is in at #61 and knocks DeReiss into the corner. The gear is hitched up for a Stinkface (DeReiss approves but feigns being knocked out when Van looks at him) but del Sol breaks it up. Van is out and Gringo Loco is in at #62.

The entrants pick up as Grim Reefer is in at #63 and tries to light a cigarette, with Parrow breaking it up. Parrow puts Reefer out and it’s Cole Radrick and Alec Price in at #64 and #65. They go after del Sol and Oliver with the former being knocked out thanks to some double teaming. Johnny Kashmere is in at #66 and we get a mini tag match with Kashmere/Oliver vs. Price/Radrick. That includes Radrick and Price both being tossed, leaving Kashmere and Oliver in the ring as Kurt Bale, Lance Scaper and Big Vin are in at #67, #68 and #69.

Vin and company get to wreck Kashmere and Oliver but can’t eliminate them as the American Giant (he’s 7’3) is in at #70. Giant gets rid of Vin and chokeslams Bale and Scaper for the double pin. There goes DeReiss as well so Parrow comes in for the staredown with Giant. Microman is in at #71 for the funny visual and Chiitan (a mascot with a big head) is in at #72.

Parrow gets rid of Giant and kicks Microman in the head but Chiitan knocks Parrow through the ropes. The Fighting Chicken (Prazak: “What in the world?”) is in at #73 and we get the big mascot staredown with Chiitan. Dr. Cube, the Hot Potato and Double Unicorn Dark (they’re kaiju from Japan) are in at #74, #75 and #76. The Chicken pecks away but the kaiju knock the mascots into the corner. Potato’s shooting star press gets two…and Aja Kong is in at #77 for the big surprise.

The Kaiju and the Chicken go after her but she knocks the three villains out and spinning backfists the Chicken for the pin. Chiitan, minus the hat, goes after Kong, who hits a spinning backfist for the pin. That gives us Parrow vs. Kong, with Parrow hitting a clothesline for the pin. Loco is back in and gets knocked out before going after Microman. Yoshihiko (a doll) is in at #78 and Stunners Kashmere out before brainbustering Oliver (just go with it) for the elimination.

Rina Yamashita (who hasn’t done anything or been seen in probably an hour and a half) comes in to piledrive Yoshihiko, who hurricanranas her out anyway. Parrow goes to throw out Yoshihiko, who throws him out instead. We get Yoshihiko vs. Microman but Nick Gage is in at #79 (announced as #87, but there’s no way I was THAT far off), the final entrant. Commentary says Gage, Yoshihiko and Microman are the final three so we’ll go with that as I lost who was still in an hour ago.

Gage hammers Yoshihiko into the corner and hits a gorilla press powerslam. The pizza cutter is whipped out but Microman makes the save. Yoshihiko crossbodies Gage but gets sent out, leaving Microman to suplex Gage. Microman pizza cutters Gage, who shoves him back down. The fans cheer for Microman, who is sat on top…but Gage misses a charge and falls out, allowing Microman to get the win at 1:57:51 (close enough as there was no opening bell).

Rating: B. Oddly enough, I had a good time with this. It’s a perfect example of “this is what we told you would be happening”, as there is nothing remotely serious about the whole thing, with stretches where there were dozens of people officially in but few were actually doing anything. This isn’t a match where it’s about the story or the action, but rather the whole atmosphere and wondering who was coming in next. This was pure, goofy fun and I had a good time with it, which is exactly what it should have been.

Overall Rating: B-. It says a lot when an eight man, four team cage match is completely forgotten but that’s the kind of show this is. This isn’t supposed to be anything more than one big party show where the fans get to see a bunch of people running out there and some semblance of a match taking place. You have to know exactly what you’re getting into, but if you can accept that, you’ll have a good time.

 

 

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Weekend So Far

I’ll spare you my bad travel issues.

Thursday

Stardom – I try to take in shows that I won’t get to see otherwise and when else am I going to get to see Japanese women’s wrestling?  I didn’t exactly know much about most of the names but I caught on fast enough and the matches were fun.  Toni Storm showed up in a great bonus moment near the end.  Fun show, but it was really short at only about an hour and forty minutes.

WrestleCon Supershow – It was a very fun show with some great action, but unfortunately I had a bad case of vertigo kick in about ten minutes before the show started and it only started clearing up about halfway through the next to last match of the night.  I could barely focus on the show, so this is going to need a heck of a rewatch.

Now that being said, the big ending was the Sandman making his full entrance, complete with Enter Sandman in the ECW Arena.  I’m far from an ECW fan but the Sandman was the coolest thing ever when I was a kid.  Seeing him getting to do that entrance in that building was one of the coolest moments I’ve ever seen at any show and it was absolutely special.

Related note: I went to Denny’s for supper after the show and a group of CMLL wrestlers were sat next to me.  They were unmasked and wouldn’t say who they were, but Barbero Cavernario was there and confirmed it was in fact them (Mistico was at another show so I definitely didn’t meet him).

Friday

WrestleCon – As usual, this is an insane amount of people in one place but thankfully they were spread out over multiple rooms.  The lines were long, but I did pick up a new book about the early 80s WWF and a gift for the wife.  It was cool to see the bigger names, but I didn’t really talk to any wrestlers due to the amount of fans there.  Granted it also doesn’t help when I’ve met most of them before anyway.

WWE World (Axxess) – Nope.  I’ve been to more WWE events than I can count and I do not remember being more disappointed than this.  It was badly lit, they only had some of the always cool pay per view banners hanging down, the lines were WAY too long to stand in and most of it was just for photo ops.  I actually spent more time walking (20 minutes) from WrestleCon to this than I spent at the event (15 minutes).  This was horrible and if Fanatics is running it again next year, it’s absolutely being dropped from the itinerary.

Progress – I got to this a bit late and knew almost no one on the card, but they pulled me in with everything they did.  This was a very entertaining show with some good action and some absolutely hilarious matches (even Bussy won me over, which I didn’t think was possible).  Fun stuff here and maybe the best mixture of quality and comedy I’ve seen at an indy show in a good while.  Also met a reader (Muffin Top Merkley) which is always fun to see.

Joey Janela’s Spring Break 8 – I don’t follow GCW but I knew enough of the people on this show.  It was the usual rowdy crowd (save for the main event oddly enough) and it worked well enough.  The show was long (as it tends to be) but it went well, with the biggest problem being the seating.  I got a sixth row seat with nothing specified on the ticket other than “sixth row”.  I sat in a seat but was told I had my own seat with my literal name on it, as they were apparently set up alphbetically.  This wound up being true, and I was stuck sitting between two good sized people, to the point where I couldn’t put my arms down for most of the show.  So if a buddy of mine and I buy tickets separately and have different last names, we can’t sit together?  That’s not a great plan.

 

Overall, good stuff so far, but we get to the big stuff tomorrow.

 

KB