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now this could be fun. So what we have here is a set of instructions given to the announcers from a few years back. It should be VERY interesting to see some of these details and the rules/ideas they’re told to follow. I’ve read through the list and a lot of them aren’t worth commenting on, but there are some major points of interest. Check out the whole list as it’s interesting information that you will likely say “THANK YOU!” to more than once, but here are some highlights. All of the following are direct quotes.
http://imgur.com/a/NW1WG#DWVb3Il
1. Play by play announcers cannot be emasculated by their broadcast partners.
2. Announcers should rarely lead our fans. Let them decide for themselves if they like a Superstar or dislike him.
3. Announcers ARE NOT THE STARS.
4. All announcers must read WWE.com every week.
Yeah yeah yeah we know. You hate Jim Ross and think he was the worst thing ever. Let it go already.
Dang Maggle. Steve Austin just kicked someone in the stomach and grabbed their head. You think he might be going for a snapmare next?
9. Our fans are always interested in what happens “in the locker room” or “away from the arena.”
10. Humor is good when it is used in a timely fashion. We are there primarily to inform and entertain.
11. Do not use pronouns.
12. Everyone hates being told what to think.
The hypocrisy here speaks for itself.
13. Nobody knows dates, everybody knows when “in two weeks”, “tomorrow”, etc is.
Words to Avoid
Shot (no title shots). As I have said many times, WHO COULD POSSIBLY CARE ABOUT THIS???
Now for some memos.
As has been said time after time: Kevin Dunn is an idiot.
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Night Raw
Date: July 6, 2015
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
Kane is in Hawaii and we have badly photoshopped and unfunny photos to prove it.
Big Show vs. Ryback
Back with Show holding a leg lock and Miz telling Show that he should never retire (WOO!). Ryback powers out and takes out the knee as well before dropping Show with three straight shoulders. The Meat Hook and a splash get two but the top rope version misses. Show hits a chokeslam and middle rope elbow, drawing in Miz for the double DQ (he was smart enough to hit them both at once) at 9:24.
Miz attacks both guys and then begs both guys to wait for Battleground. Ignore the large gap behind him where he could run at any time of course. Miz takes a Shell Shock and chokeslam and another Meat Hook drops Show again. At least the champ stood tall.
More Kane hysterics.
Brie Bella vs. Paige
Paige gets beaten up post match.
Recap of Wyatt vs. Reigns from last week.
Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns
Post match Randy Orton comes out for an RKO. I had been wondering where he was.
Rollins comes in to see HHH, who wants to know what Seth is going to do about Brock Lesnar. The champ thinks he has Battleground in the bag, but HHH is worried about tonight. Rollins needs to do the unthinkable tonight: have him laid out by the Authority like they did two weeks ago. To be fair, that is pretty unthinkable. Imagine the Stooges and Rollins being a real threat to Brock.
Here are Rusev and Summer Rae to keep this mess going. Rusev loves having a submissive Summer around but gets annoyed at the fans wanting Lana. He rambles on about being better than Dolph Ziggler until Summer tells the fans to give Rusev the respect he deserves. Rusev: “Thank you hot Summer.” Is she a radio chick now?
Bo Dallas vs. Dean Ambrose
The Stooges got stuck in traffic. Seriously.
R-Truth vs. King Barrett
No entrance for either guy as this feud just keeps going. Barrett stomps him down in the corner to start and a clothesline takes them out to the floor. Truth is sent into the post a few times and we hit the chinlock. A big boot gets two for Barrett and we take a break. Oh freaking joy we get to see more of this match. Barrett hammers away but runs into a series of clotheslines (WAY too popular tonight and in general). Winds of Change is countered into a crucifix for two but a low blow drops Truth. Truth goes up and dives into the Bull Hammer for the pin at 9:37.
Lucha Dragons vs. New Day
Steve Austin is on the cover of WWE2K16.
US Title: Cesaro vs. John Cena
Cena shoves Cesaro off the top for two off the Fameasser and then tells him to hold the ropes, which Cesaro does to counter another AA. A HUGE Swiss Death connects for two more but a quick AA gets the same. Both guys are spent so Cesaro is able to grab the Swing, setting up the Sharpshooter which he transitions into another crossface, but Cena slips out and puts on the STF.
The apron superplex (with EASE) gets two but Cena pops back up and floats over into a Batista Bomb (the sign of Cena being desperate) for a sloppy two, as called out by the announcers. Cena takes him to the corner but almost gets caught in a super Neutralizer, only to be countered into a super AA to retain the title at a mind blowing 30:10.
Owens runs in and eats an AA to close the show.
Results
Big Show vs. Ryback went to a double DQ when Miz interfered
Brie Bella b. Paige – Bella Buster
Sheamus b. Roman Reigns via countout
Dean Ambrose b. Bo Dallas – Dirty Deeds
John Cena b. Cesaro – Middle rope Attitude Adjustment
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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