I know I’m not the biggest fan of the current product, but this show actually gives me hope. I didn’t expect anything the first two years they ran this show and they were both excellent surprises. It’s way too soon after Extreme Rules and way too close to Elimination Chamber, but maybe they can pull off something good for a good show. Let’s get to it.
We’ll start with the preshow and the match that makes me want to go on a hatchet rampage: the Meta Powers (yes seriously) vs. Ascension. Now let’s pause for a second here. I like to consider myself a patient man. I’ve sat through some of the dumbest ideas I’ve ever seen and managed to survive. I got through every original episode of Monday Nitro and Thunder (and now I’m doing it AGAIN). I even made it through the Ruthless Aggression Era on Monday Night Raw.
But now I think I’ve reached my breaking point (which may or may not include Randy Orton torture material). After a year of the Ascension being one of the coolest tag teams of the year in NXT and seeing them debut as a pretty cool throwback idea, I’m going to have to watch Curtis Axel and Damien Sandow imitate great wrestlers beat them in an unfunny comedy match because Vince and Dunn will laugh at it.
Ascension may be the greatest travesty in wrestling in years and now it’s time to put this thrown together team over them for the sake of a lame comedy act. Remember when Charlie Haas did this and it got old in like two months? This isn’t even getting two months, at least not from me. It’s two guys with nothing better to do than imitate legends because WWE decided to have Miz win the blowoff and then run off to go make a movie, leaving Sandow around to flounder because they don’t think more than an hour ahead at any given time. I can’t stand this idea and it’s going to make me want to hurt someone. Maybe Repo Man.
Oh yeah there’s a full pay per view to go.
Cena over Rusev, even though Rusev somehow getting the title back would be more interesting. However, I’ll take Cena retaining as we can get more of the Open Challenges, which are pretty easily what I look forward to the most on Raw every single week. Even the fans in the arena are catching on. Notice how strong a reaction Cena has been getting lately. Let a good wrestler have good matches and people will cheer. Yes, it really is that simple. What isn’t simple is HOW HAVE THESE TWO NEVER HAD A FLAG MATCH? If there has ever been an easier layup for a gimmick I don’t know what it is, but we’ve never seen one.
Rollins to reta…..I’m sure about this aren’t I? WWE has actually made me think about this one more than once and I can’t believe I’m saying that. The key here is Elimination Chamber, because there’s the slightest chance they’ll pull the trigger on a two week title reign for someone and then get it back on Rollins. Unfortunately I think they’ll keep the title on Rollins here and set up his defense against Kane at the nothing pay per view. At least that keeps it quick I guess. Yeah Rollins to retain and no one turns.
I think they’ll go with Barrett over Neville. Despite winning King of the Ring earlier this month, somehow he needs the win more. It’s very sad to say but that’s actually the truth. Neville is going to be over because of his awesome flips and the fact that he busts out a different move every now and then to keep things going. The fact that this guy debuted like six weeks ago and is basically a coin toss against the King of the Ring is astounding.
Sheamus beats Ziggler to even the series, setting up a blowoff at Money in the Bank because they’ll both be inside the Chamber for the Intercontinental Title because WWE keeps the same people in the same spots on the card for like ever.
And now……wait…..I think I……..I THINK I CAN FEEL THE POWAH! Yeah I still love that intro. If this isn’t the match of the night by about 18,000 miles, I’m going to be shocked. I think New Day holds the titles in the 2/3 falls match over Kidd/Cesaro and then drops them inside the chamber, which might be best as you don’t want them to lose their heat. This is going to be amazing and I can’t wait to see how they handle the Elimination Chamber match. I can’t believe it but dang this is the best thing going today.
Ryback vs. Wyatt is happening too. That’s about the extent of my thoughts about it at this point even though I think about it more than any feud going on right now. It’s such a weird feud as they really don’t have a reason to be fighting. Bray just picked Ryback and is feuding with him, but the match has the potential to be very entertaining with two guys beating the tar out of each other for about fifteen minutes. I’m actually not sure if this needs more development or not. Bray isn’t the kind of guy that needs a reason to do anything and if the matches are good, who cares?
Tamina and Naomi to beat the Bella Twins so Naomi can get into the title hunt, whatever that means. You have like eight activeish Divas (Bellas, Naomi, Tamina, Fox, Cameron, Natalya and Summer. Yes I left off Rosa and if you can’t figure out why, I’ve failed at educating you) including the champion and her partner. Who isn’t in the title hunt?
Overall, I’m actually looking forward to this show. This has the potential to be a really, really strong card (when is the last time I didn’t say that actually?) with only the Divas doing nothing for me. Yeah there’s another show in two weeks, but this could be a really fun outing, especially with such low expectations.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Thought of the Day: Wrestlemania XXXI Didn’t Mean Much
Think about it: what from that show still matters less than two months removed?
Other than Rollins and Cena winning their titles, almost nothing that happened there matters.
Bryan – Vacated his title
Kidd/Cesaro – Lost the titles they were defending
Sting – Hasn’t been mentioned
Lesnar – Appeared once
Undertaker – Hasn’t been mentioned
Wyatt – Basically no sold the loss
AJ/Paige – Both gone
Bellas – Now faces
Big Show – Nothing changed after winning the battle royal
Cena is still feuding with Rusev and Rollins is still feuding with Orton. Other than that, it’s almost like Wrestlemania just came and went.
Monday Night Raw – May 11, 2015: No Time To Talk
Monday Night Raw Date: May 11, 2015
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Booker T.
It’s the go home show for Payback and the big story tonight is the return of the Authority, who are back after a few weeks off on vacation. Coming out of last week, the most interesting change is Cincinnati’s own Dean Ambrose being added to the main event on Sunday. Let’s get to it.
HHH arrives without Stephanie. There may be hope yet.
Opening sequence.
Here’s HHH to get things going. He talks about how his kids are so much better behaved when he says Daddy’s home, which is how things need to be around here with Kane and Seth Rollins. Seth is out first and agrees with what HHH (his daddy you see) said: they need to be on the same page. The fans want Ambrose but they get Rollins calling Kane a 7′ cancer trying to kill the Authority from the inside.
Rollins rants about Kane making the App vote to set up the triple threat, which was then turned into a fourway with Dean Ambrose. Seth: “THERE! Are you happy? I said his stupid name!” Maybe it’s time for Kane to be put aside as Director of Operations, because he’s not the same Kane that HHH used to run with. When were they EVER friends? Was that in the glorious Attitude Era when everyone was just so close in the destruction of WCW, which of course was never any sort of threat to the WWF, especially with DX around to win the Monday Night Wars totally on their own?
The argument starts again but HHH cuts them off to say he understands that Rollins can be annoying at times. However, he and Kane need to work together. Therefore, if Seth doesn’t leave Payback with the title, Kane must set himself on fire. Sorry, bit of a flashback there. If Rollins doesn’t keep the title, Kane is out as boss. HHH needs to makes sure Kane is invested in the plan though, so he makes Kane vs. Reigns and Rollins vs. Orton tonight. Noble interrupts but HHH laughs the Stooges off and makes short jokes before putting them in a handicap match with Ambrose.
Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury vs. Dean Ambrose
Ambrose beats on Mercury to start and clotheslines him out to the floor before going after Noble for a change of pace. Jamie begs off and runs to the floor to escape Dirty Deeds, allowing Mercury to sneak in from behind and pull Dean off the top and onto the ropes. Joey’s chinlock doesn’t do him much good as Dean sends the Stooges into each other. Jamie gets chopped down but Mercury breaks up the bulldog out of the corner. That earns them a double suicide dive, followed by the top rope standing elbow for two on Jamie. Dirty Deeds ends Noble at 5:23.
Rating: D+. What do you really want me to say here? It’s a total massacre with Dean never breaking a sweat to win. I’ll give them this though: the Stooges are a better option in the ring than the originals, as you could only but Patterson and Brisco as a physical threat against a handful of people. Noble and Mercury aren’t great, but they’re hardly ancient.
Cole says there’s an interesting poll on WWE.com where fans give Ambrose a 25% chance to win on Sunday. Just….yeah.
Dolph Ziggler vs. King Barrett
Sheamus on commentary and Barrett’s pre-match promo tell us that it’s Sheamus vs. Ziggler and Barrett vs. Neville on Sunday. Ziggler superkicks Barrett at the bell for two and we take an early break. Back with Barrett putting on a royal chinlock before Dolph fights up for two off a Fameasser. A dropkick gets the same for Dolph and draws Sheamus out of his chair. The distraction lets Barrett nail the Bull Hammer for the pin at 6:00. Too much in the break to rate but this was nothing to see.
Post match Sheamus yells that Dolph isn’t fit to clean his shoes and winds up eating a Brogue Kick.
Erick Rowan vs. Fandango
Harper is in Rowan’s corner and this is revenge from Smackdown where Rowan laid Fandango out. The announcers take bets on how long it takes Rowan to crush Fandango. A spinwheel kick and full nelson slam give Erick the pin at 37 seconds.
It’s Open Challenge time and Cena is surprised that there are some people here who sound like John Cena fans. Whether you like him or hate him, it’s pretty clear that everyone respects the US Title. Cena believes that this is the greatest country on earth and this title is its trophy.
There are wrestlers who will work their entire lives and never get a chance at the WWE Title, but that’s what makes the US Title special: everyone has an opportunity to take this from him. Everyone except Rusev that is, because he wants his match at Payback. People have advised Cena to cancel the Open Challenge tonight, but Cena thinks we should ask the people. The fans want a match so the challenge is on.
US Title: John Cena vs. Neville
Neville tries an armbar to start but the champ drops him with an elbow to the jaw for two. We hit the chinlock but Neville fights up and dropkicks Cena outside as we take a break. Back with Cena hitting the shoulders until he walks into a German suplex for two. Cena rolls outside and takes a huge corkscrew Asai moonsault with a big crash landing. Back in and a middle rope Phoenix Splash gets two on Cena. Neville fires off his kicks but charges into a sitout powerslam for two.
Cena can’t follow up but he can roll through Cena’s middle rope cross body into an AA, only to have Neville flip out and blast Cena with a superkick for two. The Red Arrow takes too long to set up though and Cena pulls him into the STF, only to have Neville roll over for two. Cena gets annoyed with Neville and takes his head off with a clothesline. Back up and Cena misses a charge and gets kicked in the head, only to snap off an AA for two. Cena loads up the super AA but Neville counters into a sitout powerbomb. The Red Arrow connects but Rusev comes in for the DQ at 14:47.
Rating: B+. Well of course Rusev comes in because THIS FEUD MUST FREAKING CONTINUE EVEN THOUGH NO ONE BUT THE LAZY WRITERS BECAUSE THEY DON’T WANT TO HAVE TO DO ANYTHING NEW AND JUST HAVE THE SAME STUPID MATCH OVER AND OVER UNTIL NO ONE CARES ABOUT RUSEV BECAUSE CENA BEATS HIM THREE PAY PER VIEWS IN A ROW. Great match of course but gah I’m sick of this Cena vs. Rusev feud because no one on the planet buys Rusev as having a chance save for a fluke ending.
Rusev Accolades Cena post match and we get the eternally stupid question of CAN RUSEV MAKE CENA QUIT ON SUNDAY? Allow me to put this politely: STOP BOOKING CENA IN I QUIT MATCHES BECAUSE THE IDEA STOPPED BEING INTERESTING TEN YEARS AGO!
Kane vs. Roman Reigns
Kane jumps Reigns during his entrance and destroys him before the bell. Reigns fights back and knocks Kane into the barricade, only to be sent hard into the steps. The announcers’ table is loaded up but Reigns dives over the steps and Superman Punches Kane onto the table. A spear onto but not through the table puts both guys down. No match.
Brie Bella vs. Tamina
This is basically a proxy match for Naomi vs. Nikki. Tamina takes Brie down with some hard shots, including a stiff clothesline for two. Brie flips out of a belly to back and fights back, only to screw up a ram into the buckle. How can you possibly screw up pushing someone into a buckle? The running knee in the ropes has Tamina in trouble but she comes back with a superkick for the pin at 3:22.
Rating: D. How do you screw up ramming someone face first into the buckle? It’s hard for me to say this but Nikki is so far ahead of Brie in the ring that it’s not even funny. Brie didn’t look lost out there but she didn’t look polished on offense. Granted it might be because she’s been relegated to a glorified cheerleader in recent weeks.
Curtis Axel vs. Macho Mandow
Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like. Mandow loads up the elbow about thirty seconds in but cue the Ascension to say this isn’t entertaining. This is now the age of total devastation so welcome to the wasteland. Ascension hits the ring at about 2:00 for the no contest…..and they’re promptly beaten down as the new Mega Powers hit the leg and load up the elbow but Ascension bails. We even get the big handshake as the Ascension is further buried. And yes, this is being buried.
Tough Enough videos.
Here’s a sad looking Daniel Bryan with something to say. He’s been in and out of doctors’ offices lately and it’s given him a lot of down time. Bryan needed to be back here with his music playing and the fans cheering for him. He can’t remember how long the fans have been cheering for him like he’s something special but it was about a year ago when he had to vacate the World Title. Stephanie McMahon told him that he couldn’t do it last year and as much as he hates to admit it, she was right.
Last year he couldn’t wrestle and give the title the respect that it deserved. That brings him to tonight, as he doesn’t know if he can defend this title regularly. He recently had an MRI and the doctors aren’t sure when he’s going to be able to get back in the ring. The fans deserve wrestlers fighting for this title in this ring, and this ring is where Bryan is going to leave it. Tonight the title is officially vacated. Daniel and the fans thank each other and he walks away.
Here’s New Day for a match but first, Woods says don’t be sad over Bryan because it’s a NEW DAY. Everyone deserves a second chance (Big E.: “Except Pete Rose.”), so they’re giving Cesaro and Tyson Kidd a second chance on Sunday in a 2/3 falls match.
Big E. vs. Cesaro
Cesaro grabs a quick slam for two before knocking E. to the floor for a break. Back with Cesaro reversing an abdominal stretch into a gutwrench suplex. Cesaro has to roll away from a Warrior Splash but gets caught by a Rock Bottom out of the corner for two. Back up and Cesaro hits a ridiculous springboard spinning European uppercut before rolling some Germans. Kidd and Woods get into it on the floor but the distraction lets Cesaro small package Big E. for the pin at 9:50.
Rating: C. This was decent enough but they needed less time in the break and more time in the match itself. Cesaro continues to thrive in this face role as we’re seeing what fans wanted to get last year instead of the Paul Heyman guy disaster. Nice little TV match here, but there’s nothing these teams can’t pull off.
Axelmania/Macho Mandow vs. Ascension on the pre-show. Well of course it is.
There’s going to be a second pay per view in May, featuring the return of the Elimination Chamber on May 30, or two weeks after Payback.
The Prime Time Players imitate the New Age Outlaws this week. If you’re not down with that, they have three words for you: millions of dollars.
Here’s Bray Wyatt to talk about the fear that is sold to us every day. Fear of a crumbling economy that will never stop. Fear of a global conflict. Fear of a dying earth. Ryback must be such an inspiration to all of you. His ankle was destroyed and he was told he might never get in this ring again. Ryback got back in though and destroys everything in his path, but he’s never seen anything like Bray Wyatt before. Sometimes the bad guy just wins. Only on C level pay per views, so Bray has a good shot on Sunday. Cue Ryback to clean house.
Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins
Non-title and Rollins is on his own. Orton runs him over to start and stomps away but Rollins sends him into the middle buckle. A knee to the back sends Orton to the floor and us to a break. Back with Orton in a chinlock before fighting up and nailing a superplex. They slowly slug it out with Orton taking over off some clotheslines but charging into an elbow to the jaw.
Rollins dives into the powerslam for two but nails the springboard knee to the jaw for two. He really likes hitting Orton in the jaw. A t-bone suplex puts Seth down but Orton rolls outside, setting up the suicide dive from the champ. They’re just trading big moves here. Back in and the RKO is countered into the low superkick (of course to the jaw) for two more. Rollins charges into the elevated DDT and the RKO is loaded up but we’ve got Stooges for the DQ at 14:15.
Rating: C. This was decent enough but they weren’t hiding the impending DQ. I’m not a fan of matches like these but the majority of the match was spent trading big moves, which at least keeps things interesting. It’s nothing great, but I don’t think this is going to be as well received as it should.
Post match Orton gets beaten down but Kane comes out to get a chair. Ambrose and Reigns come out to clean house, leaving Rollins surrounded. Kane watches as Seth takes all three finishers but Reigns spears Orton down, only to walk into Dirty Deeds to end the show.
Overall Rating: B-. It’s nowhere near as good as last week, but that’s not a fair standard to live up to. The key improvement in the last two weeks has been the pacing. They’ve cut WAY down on the amount of backstage segments and it’s made the show so much easier to sit through.
Those times in the back where Kane and Rollins bicker and the Authority cuts their stupid promos that say nothing but eat up five minute each would bring the shows to a grinding halt. However, we really, really need to get past Payback so we can get in a fresh story….which will last two weeks until the Elimination Chamber because WE MUST SELL THE NETWORK! EVEN IF THE PLAN DOESN’T REALLY MAKE SENSE!
Results
Dean Ambrose b. Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury – Dirty Deeds to Noble
Erick Rowan b. Fandango – Full nelson slam
Neville b. John Cena via DQ when Rusev interfered
Tamina b. Brie Bella – Superkick
Curtis Axel vs. Macho Mandow went to a no contest when Ascension interfered
Cesaro b. Big E. – Small package
Randy Orton b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
I haven’t actually been to a live show since the Raw after Wrestlemania XXX so this had a pretty high mark to live up to. The ticket was under though and I had to drive about ten minutes instead of twelve hours so I didn’t have to invest much to get there.
I got there at about 6:30 for a 7:00 bell and the place was empty. To be fair, Rupp Arena is one of the biggest arenas in the country and it was Mother’s Day evening. The place did fill up a bit and the majority of the lower bowl was full, but there were wide gaps of empty seats. They lowered the lights for most of the arena but it still looked decent enough. The calendar probably did quite a bit of damage here but it wasn’t the only reason to blame for the low attendance. There were a ton of kids though and far more than adults.
The poll for the fan vote was should Lana be allowed at ringside for the main event. Not for a street fight or falls count anywhere, but should the hot blonde be allowed to stick around. I never saw the poll go lower than 70-30 to keep her around.
Rusev and Lana came on the screen to cut a quick promo about winning the title back. Lexington wasn’t mentioned so I’d assume this was the same video that airs everywhere.
HHH came on just after the lights went down to welcome us to the show, again with no city mentioned. This was the good version of HHH so we got an ARE YOU READY to get us going.
First up was Neville beating Barrett with the Red Arrow. This was a great choice to open the show with Barrett in the role he was born to play. Before the match he told everyone to kneel in front of the king and Tony Chimmel and the referee followed the king’s orders. Neville answered an open challenge and had one of the best matches of the night. What I like most about Neville is that he wrestles like a guy eight inches taller and 50lbs heavier than he actually is. Instead of a guy who wrestles like a small wrestler, he’s a wrestler who happens to be small.
The interesting thing here was that Neville wrestles like a superhero, kind of in the vein of the original Sin Cara, minus the botches. He comes off like someone willing to fight against anyone above him, which makes for a much more interesting character than just another cruiserweight.
Finally, Barrett said he has injured Daniel Bryan so severely that Bryan is retired. Why is it so complicated to have a wrestler injure another and then brag about causing the injury? It’s such an evil move to do but for some reason it’s taken weeks to get there. Use it to turn Barrett into an even bigger villain instead of hiding behind reality.
Damien Sandow beat Heath Slater in a short comedy match. I really don’t think you need much more of an explanation here, but Sandow has lost a lot of steam since that Miz feud ended.
Nikki Bella successfully defended the Divas Title against Naomi. This was the old Naomi in the bright green, though she was still the villain. Nikki got a big reaction from the fans, which makes sense given that she’s basically the new Kelly Kelly, if Kelly ever had a horrible feud with her sister. Naomi hit the Rear View but spent too much time dancing to cover. Later on she tried to bring in the title but had to deal with Brie, allowing Nikki to hit the Rack Attack for the pin. Nikki has the potential to be a pretty solid face champion, but the stuff before this really dragged her down.
In another lame match, Fandango beat Adam Rose with a small package. I really don’t know what else there is to say here.
We then had a Connor the Crusher video and a special Mother’s Day message from Mr. T. These received a very nice ovation and amused applause respectfully.
Next was one of the most disappointing matches of the night with Dean Ambrose defeating Luke Harper. Ambrose was fine, but Harper looked way off for some reason. He kept showing off his biceps, which isn’t exactly what you imagine coming from him. Maybe he’s trying something new, but this really didn’t need to be anything but their usual solid formula.
Intermission, meaning nachos and a water……which costs the same as a soda so it was a Sierra Mist. Seriously, charging $3.50 for a cup of water is ridiculous.
Back from the break and we had one of the most interesting matches of the night. Erick Rowan defeated Bo Dallas in something resembling a comedy match (Bo put the mask on and then Erick ran a lap around the ring like Dallas), but the interesting thing was Rowan playing the good guy after he turned heel on Smackdown. Translation: WWE doesn’t watch Smackdown either. The match was nothing special, as you would likely expect.
At this point, the show was starting to drag. After nearly two hours of some so-so matches and little worth remembering, I was feeling a bit drained. But then, something happened. I began to feel something. Oh yes, I began to feel the POWAH! The POWAH of the New Day was so strong that it knocked the fans out of rhythm on the NEW DAY SUCKS chants. Before the match, New Day talked about being similar to the Kentucky Wildcats basketball team: big, strong and athletic, but they can actually win a title and will be around for more than one year. They also sang us an original composition called We Are The Champions.
The title defense was a four way elimination match with New Day (Woods/Kofi) defending against Ascension, the Prime Time Players and Tyson Kidd/Cesaro. Kidd/Cesaro got a solid reaction but Titus was very over as well. The match was the best of the night by far with everyone getting a chance to show off. There was even an innovative spot with Woods trying a sunset flip on Viktor but not being able to get him over. With the two of them distracted, Kidd picked up Woods’ legs and catapulted him into a low blow on Viktor.
Eventually everything broke down with Cesaro and Kidd cleaning house, until Woods made a blind tag as Kidd dropped the elbow off Cesaro’s shoulders. Woods snuck in and stole the pin on Viktor to retain because the New Day is great at being sneaky. Post match Kidd and Cesaro cleaned house with the Cesaro Swing into the dropkick. Big E. eventually put Woods/Kingston on his shoulders and carried them out in a great visual. This was the match of the night by far.
The main event was Cena successfully defending the US Title over Rusev. If you’ve seen one of these matches, you’ve seen them all.
As I was walking to the car, I stopped by the parking lot and saw Neville/Bo Dallas, the Prime Time Players, Slater/Ascension and maybe Big E. leaving. Neville was the only one to wave and acknowledge the fans waiting, but to be fair he’s the only heel there.
Overall it wasn’t the best show, but for $18 I easily got my money’s worth. It didn’t help that the roster was split and the endings were mostly obvious, but still, good enough for a Mother’s Day house show.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Thought of the Day: I Feel My Temperature Rising (KB Babbles About Raw)
And that’s a good thing.Looking back at last night, we saw one of the things that you can’t plan but it’s the best thing in the world to have: acts are starting to get hot.
New Day is on fire right now and the fans are having a great time booing them. Cesaro/Kidd are one of the most polished teams I’ve seen in years and are giving me flashbacks to the Harts and the Bulldogs. Ambrose is exactly the spark that the main event needed. This open challenge thing is one of the most exciting parts of the show every week. Sami Zayn, the Lucha Dragons and Neville are showing what happens when NXT stars get the chance to shine. Barrett is PERFECT for the king role. Lana could be the biggest Diva in the world if she has any skill in the ring.
I really hope this doesn’t jinx it, but we could be in for one heck of a summer if WWE doesn’t screw this up. Things are getting hot in a hurry and they could knock it out of the park if they don’t do their usual.
A few things that could kill the roll:
Jobbing New Day/Cesaro/Kidd. They’re hot, the fans want to see them do their thing, and they’re all nailing it. Don’t have them be cannon fodder for one off teams like Orton and Reigns.
Don’t have Barrett lose five matches in a row and then win once to prove he’s still good. It hasn’t worked before and it won’t work now.
No more 20 minute opening promos, especially from HHH/Stephanie. That fake smugness about “we love the fans and just want what’s best for them” has been done so many times and it’s completely overdone. Just have them be evil. And don’t let Stephanie keep cutting balls off. Or at least let her get some comeuppance. HHH isn’t even that bad these days. If he keeps it relatively short he’s fine. He’s just been stuck in horrible stories.
Don’t give us Rollins vs. Kane on pay per view. Just don’t.
Keep Big Show in the midcard. The main event stuff was long, dull and didn’t work. Yeah the blowoff match was good, but in no way was it good enough to make up for how bad it was. Get Kane and Big Show out of their spots and put Sheamus/Barrett in there instead.
Last night in the Live Discussion I do every week on Raw (WrestleZone Forums. Check it out), I said something like this:
“Either Sami’s arm injury is fake or he’s the most amazing wrestler of all time.”
It seems the latter is closer to the truth as he really did jack up his shoulder during his entrance. Still though, great stuff.
If it’s not clear, I really liked Raw last night and I’m hoping it keeps going, but I have a feeling they’re going to botch it. As they almost always do.
Monday Night Raw – May 4, 2015: The OLE Is Strong With This One
Monday Night Raw Date: May 4, 2015
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Booker T.
We’re already getting close to Payback and a lot of the card is already set just a little over a week after Extreme Rules. Seth Rollins is ready to defend the World Title against Roman Reigns and Randy Orton at the next pay per view in a triple threat match. The bigger story though seems to be Rollins vs. Kane, which has been brewing for months. Let’s get to it.
We open with Randy Orton, who thinks Payback is the perfect name for this upcoming pay per view. It’s time for him to get his payback on Rollins, and if Reigns has to get in the way so be it, because Orton is walking out champion. This brings out Reigns, who says Orton’s words won’t be coming true. If anyone is getting payback, it’s him. The fans chant RKO, but Reigns says the people don’t fight for Randy. Orton compares their resume and says Reigns has some catching up to do. Reigns brings up beating Randy back at Summerslam and has no problem breaking him in half again at Payback.
Cue the Auth……..uh……actually IT’S A NEW DAY! Woods says that as the only champions here, it’s their job to spread the positivity. No one cares about the Montreal Boo-job (that sounds like a Bo Dallas line) they have going on right now. Kingston says Rollins doesn’t just have Orton’s number but he’s got it on speed dial. Big E. offers them a chance to clap along with the New Day. Kofi: “I TOLD YOU THEY WOULDN’T DO IT!” A handicap match has been made.
New Day vs. Roman Reigns
Non-title. Of note here: the bell rang at 8:14, after a commercial. That’s the kind of speed I want in my opening segments. Kofi and Orton don’t do much so it’s off to Woods, who gets nailed by a hard shoulder. Woods’ leapfrog is countered into a Samoan drop, followed by the tag to Orton. The two man team take turns working over Woods until a Kofi distraction allows for the tag to Big E. It doesn’t take long to get back to Woods for a dropkick as we take a break.
Back with Reigns fighting out of Kofi’s chinlock but getting caught in some suplexes from Big E. for two. We hit a front facelock from Kofi and a chinlock from Xavier until Reigns finally powers out. A clothesline sets up the hot tag to Randy to clean house, including catching a springboarding Kofi in a powerslam. There’s a Superman Punch to Big E. and the elevated DDT to Kingston. Woods gets the RKO but Reigns spears Orton by mistake and Kingston gets the pin at 13:15.
Rating: C+. Totally logical and well done match with the CHAMPIONS WINNING. They had me thinking they were going to do the stupid “champions with an advantage lose” thing but instead they keep the losers looking strong and give the champions the win. That’s all I can ask for so the clapping was a nice bonus.
Kane comes out and says these two aren’t done yet and it’s Reigns vs. Orton for the main event.
After Kane’s announcement, he runs into Rollins in the back. Seth again dangles the Authority over Kane’s head (is the Authority just never in contact if they’re not on TV?) but Kane makes Rollins vs. Ambrose again for tonight but bars the Stooges from ringside. Rollins yells so Kane threatens to tie Rollins’ arms together for the match with Ambrose.
Renee Young (looking spiffy as always) brings out Ryback for a chat. He has no idea why Bray Wyatt has been going after him. The fans chant Goldberg and Ryback says he loves the fans too, because if he ignores it they’ll just keep doing it. That starts a FEED ME MORE chant so maybe he’s onto something. Ryback talks about being hungry to be a hero every single week to every kid in this audience. Last week, Bray Wyatt woke Ryback up and now he’s hungry. Talking time is over and now it’s feeding time. This brings Bray to the screen to talk about fear making us pledged allegiance to higher powers. Ryback will fear him as well.
Ascension vs. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro
The inset interview has the Ascension talking about Tyson being a Hart wannabe. Viktor stomps Kidd down in the corner to start and Ascension starts taking turns on him. Konnor gets two off a suplex and Viktor follows it up with a middle rope kick to the chest. Kidd rolls over for a hot tag to Cesaro for about ten running European uppercuts in the corner to Viktor, who stupidly kicks out at two. Kidd takes Konnor out with a flip dive and it’s the Swing into the dropkick for the pin at 4:07. Cesaro and Kidd got a huge face reaction here.
Rating: C+. THIS is the Kidd/Cesaro that the fans have been dying to cheer for months and they were on fire tonight. They’re developing an awesome chemistry together and Cesaro’s power hasn’t looked as good in a long time. Watching this match, you totally get the desire to see Cesaro become a breakout star. Really good stuff here from one of the best tag teams in a long time.
Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins
Non-title rematch from Smackdown with the Stooges barred from ringside. Before the match, Kane comes out to raise the stakes: if Ambrose wins here, he’s added to the triple threat match to make it a fatal fourway. Rollins is livid but Dean takes the mic from him and says it’s a great idea. Kane says ring the bell so Dean rolls Seth up for a quick two.
Some chops send Seth to the floor but the champ takes over, only to throw Ambrose in for that 619 on the mat spot and takes Seth down again. Back in and Dean gets two off an elbow and hammers away in the corner before sending Rollins into the opposite corner for a Flair Flip. Seth comes back with a snapmare into a chinlock but Dean tosses him outside as we take a break.
Back with Rollins cranking on the neck and sending him face first into the middle buckle. The springboard knee misses though and Dean nails a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Dean slugs away and hits his bulldog, sending Rollins to the floor. Ambrose nails a suicide dive and the fans are very impressed. It’s only enough for two though and Dean is frustrated.
The standing elbow drop gets the same but Seth comes back with the springboard knee to the head. Another slugout leads to a Cactus Clothesline from Ambrose to put both guys on the floor. Rollins gets the better of it with a running powerbomb into the barricade and the fans are way into this again. Dean somehow beats the count back in at nine and a half and Rollins is livid. Seth hammers away in the corner and nails the enziguri but Dean hits the rebound lariat. Cue the Stooges because stipulations mean nothing, but Dean rams them into each other and rolls Seth up for the pin at 16:33.
Rating: B+. I don’t think this holds up due to some stupid stipulations/loophole, but man alive these two work well together. This was more about topping each other instead of the violence that made their feuds work so well before, but this was fine in its own right. Dean is another good example of a guy who can easily get a win like this and bounce right back to the top. It made me chuckle when people said he was buried after losing to Wyatt.
Post match Rollins storms into Kane’s office and blame him for the situation but Kane says the fans picked the match and Rollins lost to make it a fourway. Maybe Seth would like six, seven, even ten challengers instead? This is all to make Seth into the champion they want him to be, and Kane has a plan.
Lana doesn’t know anything about getting a positive reaction. Fandango comes up and says you have to accept the fans. He leaves so Rusev comes in and yells at Lana.
Fandango vs. Rusev
The fans chant for Lana as Rusev gets going. Fandango gets in a quick shot so Rusev throws him to the floor, where Fandango gets Lana to start dancing. Rusev snaps and nails Fandango before ejecting Lana, but the dancer sends him into the post. Back in and some dropkicks have Rusev in trouble, but the jumping superkick and Accolade end Fandango at 2:14. So to recap, Rusev is Marc Mero and Lana is Sable?
Tough Enough audition tapes.
R-Truth vs. Stardust
Rematch from last week’s King of the Ring match. Stardust comes out with a mystery bag. A release gordbuster puts Truth down to stat and a running stomp to the chest has him in more trouble. The fans get bored as both guys collide and begin to entertain themselves. Truth wants to know what’s in the bag and finds….plastic spiders. Stardust rolls up the freaked out Truth for the pin at 2:55.
Cena comes out for the open challenge but has to wait for the fans to tell him that he sucks. Cena: “I quit.” He tries to talk about how those words have meaning now but gets cut off by an OLE chant. Some people would love for him to quit now, but he’s learned to deal with these reactions. Everyone knows he doesn’t give up and he won’t at Payback in his final match with Rusev. Even if he loses, he’s done because there’s no reason for him to have a rematch if he quits.
Cena calls the fans passionate but goes back to Rusev, saying Rusev just wants the title. On the other hand, Cena is fighting for everything he believes in. If your back is up against the wall and someone puts a mic in your face, would you say you quit? There’s a guy in a Nordiques jersey (old Montreal hockey team) because even though they left in 1996, that guy still won’t quit. Cena is proud of that title and will never give it up. In two weeks, the champ is here. Right now though, it’s open challenge time.
US Title: John Cena vs. Bret Hart
Wait what? Bret says he’s here to introduce the real opponent, but gets cut off by the man answering the challenge.
US Title: John Cena vs. Heath Slater
He isn’t getting cut off again this week because two weeks ago it was an RKO out of nowhere and then Rusev jumping him out of nowhere. Slater is tired of getting attacked out of nowhere, so there’s a mic to his head from Bret. Now here’s the REAL challenger.
US Title: John Cena vs. Sami Zayn
YES! I can’t remember the last time I actually pumped my fist and shouted YES at the TV for an announcement but it happened tonight. In a travesty of justice, this is joined in progress with Sami sending him to the floor and teasing a dive. Back in and Sami gets caught in a side slam into a chinlock, followed by a belly to back for two. Then the referee stops the match and throws up an X with Sami holding his shoulder. Oh no man not now.
Sami says he can keep going and the fans love him even more. Cena is tentative to go after the arm so they circle each other a bit until Cena gets him into the corner for some right hands. Zayn comes back with a clothesline but comes up holding his shoulder. Cena loads up the finishing sequence but Sami counters the Shuffle into a rollup for two. John bails to the floor, allowing Sami to hit the big flip dive, but Cena slaps on the STF back inside. Zayn gets over to the ropes for the break and can barely move.
The Downward Spiral into the Koji Clutch out of nowhere has Cena in trouble but he floats over into the AA, only to get caught in a flat German suplex for two. Rusev and Lana are watching in the back as Cena nails Sami with a clothesline. The AA is countered and a double clothesline puts both guys down.
Cena rolls outside and gets caught by the running diving DDT through the ropes to knock Cena silly on the floor. Back in and the AA hits for…..two? The Blue Thunder Bomb gets the same and the fans are losing their minds on these kickouts. Cena’s springboard Stunner sets up another AA to finally retain the title at 10:40 shown.
Rating: A-. They give Stardust vs. R-Truth a full match and THIS gets clipped down? That shoulder story worked great and Sami looked like the pluckiest underdog in the history of dogs that are under, which is basically his character in a nutshell. I really hope this is the start of Sami’s main roster run as he can clearly hang on this stage.
Cena helps Sami to his feet and leaves him alone for a standing ovation from his hometown crowd.
The Bellas are coming to the ring and New Day is STILL celebrating in the back. I want to marry this show and divorce it after about four years.
Renee is trying to find Sami for an interview but New Day comes up to continue celebrating. Big E. says victorious about five times and Woods plugs his E:60 special tomorrow night on ESPN. Cesaro and Kidd break up the NEW DAY ROCKS chant but Woods calls Tyson a catastrophe of a Canadian. This negativity will not keep the champions down but Kidd starts a NEW DAY SUCKS chant.
Nikki Bella vs. Naomi
Naomi and the returning Tamina Snuka jump the Twins from behind with Tamina nailing a superkick to Nikki’s chest. Well it’s kind of hard to miss. Naomi says this is what family is all about. No match, which is probably the smartest thing they could have done. Also, I’ll take Tamina (who is Naomi’s cousin by marriage) over a Funkadactyls reunion every single day.
Here’s Bad News Barrett for the first time since winning the crown. Barrett: “Hear ye you filthy commoners!” Oh yeah he’s going to nail this. He talks about Princess Charlotte being born a few days ago and says how great a week this is for the royal family. Great, great stuff here as Barrett’s voice makes the character.
Sheamus/Bad News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler/Neville
Barrett kicks Ziggler in the ribs to start but gets thrown to the floor as we take an early break. We come back with Ziggler fighting out of Sheamus’ chinlock but getting caught in a tilt-a-whirl powerslam. Sheamus talks a lot of trash, allowing Dolph to score with a sweet superkick. Dolph gets the tag and Neville comes in like a house of fire, including the big spinning flip dive to Barrett.
Back in and the standing moonsault gets two before Neville has to duck the Bull Hammer. A German suplex gets two on Barrett as Ziggler and Sheamus fight outside. Neville kicks the King in the head and goes to the apron, only to springboard into the Bull Hammer for the pin at 8:38.
Rating: C. Nice little tag match here but it didn’t have time to do much with the break at the beginning. Sheamus and Barrett make a nice heel team and could be a fun act together for a good while to come. If nothing else, swap them with Big Show and Kane as the Authority’s enforcers.
Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton
Before the match, the Authority comes out to delay things even further. Noble is guest ring announcer, Mercury is guest timekeeper, Kane is guest enforcer, and Rollins is guest commentator. Cole: “Thank you mayor of Munchkin City.” The bell rings at 11:02 and there’s no contact in the first thirty seconds. Orton tries an RKO out of nowhere but Reigns shoves him away and starts a slugout.
Reigns takes him down with a Samoan drop and they go outside. Your guest ring announcer takes a right hand to the jaw and Kane gets stared down. They trade secondary finishers and Orton takes over with the powerslam. The RKO is countered and Reigns nails the Superman Punch, only to have Kane pull him outside. Orton gets beaten down as well and we’ll call it a no contest at about 6:30.
Rating: D. Nothing match here but did you expect anything else? There’s nothing else to talk about here so I’ll save you some time.
Reigns dives on everyone but the beatdown is on until Ambrose makes the save. Reigns takes an RKO and Orton eats Dirty Deeds to leave Dean standing tall to end the show.
Overall Rating: A. Well that’s about as good of a show as I’ve seen since……the Raw after Wrestlemania XXX? Everything was on point all night with the right pace, the right decisions and A LOT of really good wrestling. This was the kind of show they needed, but now they need to keep things going. Of course it doesn’t have to be at this pace because that’s an unfair request, but something with this kind of energy and logic will do wonders for them. Outstanding show.
Results
New Day b. Randy Orton/Roman Reigns – Kingston pinned Orton after a spear from Reigns
Tyson Kidd/Cesaro b. Ascension – Cesaro Swing into a dropkick to Viktor
Dean Ambrose b. Seth Rollins – Rollup
Rusev b. Fandango – Accolade
Stardust b. R-Truth – Rollup
John Cena b. Sami Zayn – Attitude Adjustment
Sheamus/Bad News Barrett b. Dolph Ziggler/Neville – Bull Hammer to Neville
Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns went to a no contest when the Authority interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: April 27, 2015
This was kind of a special episode as the King of the Ring was announced and set up in the span of a single day. Apparently the idea was to have it spread into May on the Network where people would have to pay for it, but since May is ANOTHER free month, they’re just turning it into a two night event instead. That makes me so much happier to have paid for the Network since day one. Let’s get to it.
We open with the story that just won’t die as Kane, Rollins and the Stooges are in the ring. Uh let’s see: Rollins brags, Kane blames Rollins for whatever (that’s a good point: why are these two even fighting? I think it’s something to do with Kane thinking Rollins is ungrateful or something, but they keep shouting all the time and it’s really gotten lost in the shuffle), Rollins tells him to shut up, they bicker like two idiots, Orton and Reigns come out and want title shots, Kane says it’s POLL TIME!
Barrett beat Ziggler in a pretty lame tournament match. That’s going to become a recurring theme: tournament matches mostly suck because they need to fly through the first round and there’s not much time to do things like build up a match.
Xavier Woods cheated to help Big E. beat Tyson Kidd. How nice is it to see someone cheating like a good old fashioned villain?
Ryback squashed Bo Dallas and then got beaten up by Bray Wyatt. This was pretty clear after the weights line from Bray last week, but I’m really not sure where this one is going. Ryback vs. Wyatt could be an interesting feud, but it could also be one of those where you watch the match, tilt your head a bit and then say “well that…….sucked? I think?” It’s an odd pairing but I like both guys so it could go somewhere. Oh and one more thing: why are people SO obsessed with seeing Bo Dallas as Bray’s disciple? Yeah they’re brothers. Does that mean they have to be together on screen? I’ve never gotten the mass appeal of the pairing.
There was no open challenge this week as Rusev came out beat up Heath Slater before he could answer and then did the same promo they’ve done about 15 times now. I’m really starting to get worried about Rusev as more than once now I’ve forgotten what he’s been doing since he lost the US Title. One day someone in WWE is going to have to sit down with me and explain the psychology behind taking someone who was really getting over and then having them lose on pay per view three times in a row to the same guy. I’m guessing this leads to Lana’s big face turn, but do we really need to kill Rusev to get there?
Kane and Rollins did their same schtick of threatening to call the Authority because the 7′ monster and the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION are the little kids to HHH and Stephanie’s mom and dad. This bickering angle is really getting old and again, I have no idea what I’m supposed to find interesting about it.
R-Truth beat Stardust to advance. You think I have anything else to say about this?
Adam Rose beat Fandango. To quote myself from the original review: “This is the latest story that people aren’t going to care about and is going to be a waste of time.”
Brie Bella couldn’t remember what emotion she was supposed to have when talking about her husband’s career possibly being over. Naomi shoved her down to continue trying to make the Bellas into faces because……well someone has to be in this division.
Naomi then beat Brie with one of the worst small packages I’ve ever seen. I’ll give them this though: there was a clear heel and face in the match and I had a reason to care about seeing Brie beat Naomi up. That right there is all the story I need. You have a villain and an opponent (I still can’t bring myself to call her a hero) who can give her what she has coming and maybe the match won’t suck. On a good day. Maybe.
Sheamus beat Dean Ambrose via DQ to advance when Dolph Ziggler interfered. Ambrose looked good out there and it was one of the better matches of the night, so there isn’t much to say here. One good thing though was Dean freaking out that Ziggler interefering was a DQ. His I GET DQ’d FOR THAT was right up there with Hogan thinking that Jimmy Hart wearing a striped jacket and counting the pin at Wrestlemania IX was enough to win the Tag Team Titles.
Damien Sandow’s new gimmick is mimicking people. You know, like four year olds do. I give this a month, max. There was something in there about beating up Curtis Axel too.
Neville beat Luke Harper because Neville is pretty awesome. This was a god way to have a young hero stand up to a monster like Harper and come out looking great. Neville is getting one of the best pushes I’ve seen in a long time and I’m getting more and more into his matches every single time.
The main event was a long Reigns/Orton vs. Rollins/Kane tag with Reigns pinning the champ. This was your standard main event tag match, meaning it was entertaining enough but longer than it needed to be.
The triple threat option won the poll because…..it’s too late in the night for sarcasm. It won because it’s a triple threat and that’s the only thing that was ever going to win.
This show was about setting up Payback and the tournament as fast as they could because somehow, despite OWNING ITS OWN NETWORK, WWE still can’t figure out something as simple as a schedule to let pay per views be properly built. Not a very good show but it did its job well enough. These episodes of building up future shows are never all that great so this was about as good as you can get, especially with the tournament stuff shoehorned in.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Extreme Rules 2015 Date: April 26, 2015
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield
It’s time for the night of Wrestlemania rematches, which often makes for a very entertaining card. The main event will see Seth Rollins defending the World Title against Randy Orton inside a cage with the RKO banned and Kane guarding the door. We also have Roman Reigns vs. Big Show in a last man standing match and Rusev vs. Cena III in a Russian chain match. Let’s get to it.
Here’s Bad News Barrett on the pre-show to tell us that Daniel Bryan isn’t here tonight to defend the Intercontinental Title. Since Bryan can’t be here, let’s bring out Neville for a replacement so he can take the Bullhammer destined to go upside Bryan’s head.
Bad News Barrett vs. Neville
The fans are entirely behind Neville as Barrett grabs a headlock to start. Neville takes him to the mat and hooks a nice rollup for two before the front flips have Barrett even more confused. A dropkick sends him to the floor but Barrett trips Neville up to take over. Back from a break with Barrett holding a chinlock before throwing Neville into the air for a kick to the ribs and two. A big boot to the face gets the same on Neville and Barrett follows up with a nice slingshot backbreaker.
The second chinlock doesn’t last as long, allowing Neville to fire off some kicks to the ribs to send Barrett outside, setting up the big spinning dive from Neville. Back in and Barrett catches him going up before planting Neville with Winds of Change for two. Wasteland gets a VERY close two but the Bullhammer misses, allowing Neville to hit an enziguri. The Red Arrow is broken up but Barrett misses another Bullhammer. A second kick to the head sets up the Red Arrow from (Cole: “Adrian”) Neville for the pin at 10:40.
Rating: C+. Well that’s a surprise. Neville getting the win is a big deal as it’s his biggest pin ever, even if everyone and their mother pin Barrett. In theory this sets up a feud between the two of them over who gets the title shot whenever Bryan comes back, if he does at all.
The opening video talks about how this is the most extreme night of the year and focuses on Rusev vs. Cena and Rollins vs. Orton. Again, it makes sense to add gimmicks so it’s not just the same show as last month without the big stage.
Luke Harper vs. Dean Ambrose
Street fight, meaning the fall must take place in the ring. Dean takes over to start and knocks Harper to the floor for a suicide dive. Back in and we get the kendo sticks to Harper’s back, followed by a chair being thrown inside. Dean sits down and licks his lips until Harper comes back and suplexes him through the chair. Luke starts going after the knee with the kendo stick before wedging a chair in the corner.
In a unique spot, Harper LAUNCHES Dean face first into the chair for two as the fans stay behind Ambrose. Back up and a tornado DDT gives Dean a breather as the fans want tables. Luke counters Dirty Deeds and the rebound clothesline before they head back to the floor. Dean’s suicide dive is countered with a shove, so Dean does a kind of 619 and comes back with a clothesline in a cool spot.
They fight to the back with Luke being rammed into various things. Luke goes behind a wall and the camera has to run around to find him. THANK YOU! I can’t remember the last time that happened but it drives me absolutely insane when there’s a camera waiting on them. Harper and Dean get inside a car…….and drive away with the referee in the back. So I’m guessing the match is still going and continues later in the night?
HHH tells Kane to find that car before those two hurt someone. Rollins comes in and tells them to calm down because this is a big night. Kane goes off on Rollins and calls him a punk, but HHH wants things calm head into the main event. Kane better not screw up though. The fans could be heard calling this boring and I can’t say I disagree. Don’t put this stuff on the pay per view. We know the story is boring by now so don’t make it even worse.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus
The winner has to kiss the winner’s….uh yeah. Sheamus shoves him away to start but Ziggler comes back with forearms to the face. A dropkick staggers the big man and they fight to the floor. Ziggler is thrown at the steps but jumps on top of them for the slingshot DDT to stun Sheamus even more. Back in and Sheamus hits something like a Brogue Knee to take over. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Dolph fights up with another dropkick, only to get caught in a sitout powerbomb for two more.
Sheamus starts talking trash and follows it up with another devastating, yes DEVASTATING I say, chinlock. It’s not devastating enough to prevent Ziggler from fighting up with right hands and a splash in the corner. The neckbreaker is countered and Sheamus nails a running ax handle, only to walk into a superkick for two. Sheamus plants him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker as they’re trading big shots here. The Brogue Kick misses and Ziggler rolls him up for two before a rolling cradle is enough to pin Sheamus at 9:25.
Rating: C+. This was just a TV match with a quick ending but the two worked pretty well together. The idea here was to have Ziggler bounce off Sheamus and make all the power moves look good, which he excels at. Solid enough match here, even if the gimmick was really stupid.
Post match Sheamus takes nearly five minutes to do what he’s supposed to do but of course he hits Ziggler low and gives him a Brogue Kick before making Ziggler kiss up to him like a heel should.
Long video on what’s coming on the Network.
Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro
Kidd/Cesaro are defending and are the default heels here. Cole says that it’s Kofi and Big E. Langston for the New Day. Kofi takes Kidd to the mat to start but Tyson wraps the arm around the ropes to take over. Off to Big E. vs. Cesaro with Cesaro catching Big E.’s leapfrog in midair and throwing him into the corner. It’s back to Kidd as the champions stomp Big E. to the tune of New Day Sucks in an awesome moment. Tyson sends both challengers to the floor for a suicide cannonball dive on Kofi, only to have Big E. clothesline him down. Fans: “NEW DAY! SUCKS!” Woods: “WHAT DID WE DO??? WE’RE WINNING!”
Back in and Kofi hits a basement dropkick in the corner before we hit the chinlock. Big E. misses the splash and gets low bridged to the floor, allowing for the hot tag to Cesaro. The Swing is teased but it’s a catapult into the corner, where Kofi jumps to the top for a spinning cross body, but Cesaro catches him in mid air for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Cesaro’s apron superplex sets up the springboard elbow from Kidd for two, only to have Big E. dive through the ropes to spear Kidd down.
Back in and the Midnight Hour gets two on Kidd with Cesaro making the save. Kofi gets caught in the Sharpshooter and this time it’s E.’s turn to make the save. There’s the Swing into the dropkick but Woods gets on the apron for a distraction, only to be taken out by Natalya. Kofi uses the distraction to slide in with a rollup and a handful of trunks for the pin and the titles at 9:37.
Rating: B+. I had a really good time with this as Cesaro and Kidd are one of the most polished teams for such a short amount of time together as you’ll ever see. Hopefully these teams have several more matches together as they’ve got great chemistry and work together really well. Awesome match here and I’d love to see more of it.
The pre-show panel chats for a bit and talks about Neville vs. Barrett.
New Day celebrates their win as Ambrose and Harper return. They fight back to the arena and throw a bunch of weapons into the ring. Harper hits a quick powerbomb onto the chairs for two but takes too long putting Dean under the chairs, allowing Ambrose to toss him onto the steel. Dirty Deeds connects for the pin at somewhere around 59:00.
Rating: D+. So uh….what the heck was the point of this? If they had done something like Mankind vs. HHH at In Your House XVI where they kept fighting all throughout the night this would have been fun but instead it was three fourths of a match, then a 50 minute break, then a quick finish. Were they just five minutes short or something?
Long recap of Cena vs. Rusev. They traded wins at the previous two pay per views but tonight Cena is defending the US Title in a Russian chain match.
US Title: John Cena vs. Rusev
Russian chain match of the four corners variety, meaning forward momentum has to be maintained or your streak of corners is erased. They start with a tug of war and Cena gets three quick buckles, followed by Rusev getting two of his own. Rusev sends him to the floor and suplexes him over the ropes for two buckles but Cena hits him with the chain to break it up. They head outside with Rusev being pulled into the post, knocking him half silly in the process.
Cena gets two buckles but Rusev wraps his legs around the ropes for the save. Rusev scores with the spinwheel kick and chains Cena in the back a few times but can only get two buckles. For some reason Rusev goes up top, only to get pulled down onto the chain. Cena starts his finishing sequence but gets caught in the fall away slam, setting up the jumping superkick. The fans want Lana so she gets on the apron, only to be ejected by Rusev. Cena hits his usual stuff but the AA is countered into the Alabama Slam.
The Accolade is reversed into the STF and the rope Rusev grabs means nothing. Rusev pulls him down and hooks the Accolade so Cena gets to his feet and drives Rusev into two corners. He collapses from the hold though and Rusev hits the third, only to walk into the AA to break the streak. Back up and they both quickly get three, setting up a tug of war over the fourth. Rusev rushes for it but Cena pulls him into the AA and slaps the fourth to retain at 13:35.
Rating: C. I’m actually surprised but they did find a different way to end the thing. That being said, these matches can only be so good as the gimmick gets in the way of the match. Other than the match being called a Russian chain match, there’s no distinct advantage here for Rusev and it makes for a pretty average match. Not bad or anything, but I’ll never want to watch this again.
Roman Reigns talks about how he’ll keep getting up and win the last man standing match tonight.
Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. Naomi
Nikki is defending and Naomi got the shot after attacking Paige, who had won a battle royal to earn the title match. Naomi has new music, stupid looking glasses and shoes that light up. Nikki puts on an armbar to start but gets suplexed down for two. The shoes are already really distracting as Naomi hooks a chinlock. Back up and Nikki avoids the Rear View but Naomi stops to dance a bit.
Naomi charges into an elbow in the corner and the Alabama Slam gets two. Back up and Naomi gets the same off a falling reverse DDT. A quick Bubba Bomb into a rollup gets the same but Nikki comes back with something like a Beautiful Disaster from the middle rope for two. Brie gets in a cheap shot on Naomi, setting up the Rack Attack to retain the title at 7:17. Those are our new heroes?
Rating: C. The Bellas (they’re a collective entity in my mind at this point) are acceptable in the ring and improving, but they’re far too annoying to make me ever care about/like them, especially with the one not in the match shouting COME ON *insert other sister’s name here* a dozen times a match. It also doesn’t help that they might be the worst written characters I’ve seen in years with the stories starting and stopping and them suddenly being faces with no reason given. Also their Total Divas personas haven’t done them any favors. Somehow this is going to wind up as the Funkadactyls vs. Bellas isn’t it?
Rusev yells at Lana and storms off. Lana hangs her head and walks into the Authority’s locker room. That’s something I guess and the fans gasped when they saw whose room it was.
We recap Reigns vs. Big Show, which exists to prove that there is a devil and his name is Vince McMahon.
Roman Reigns vs. Big Show
Last man standing. They slug it out to start and Reigns knocks Show to the floor before getting an early table. Big Show shoves it back under the ring so Reigns posts him, setting up the apron kick for five. The table reappears and is set up at ringside but Big Show breaks it with his fists so Reigns can’t put him through it.
Reigns opts for a kendo stick and nails Show with it a few times, only to have Show break it apart, saying he’s a giant. Thanks for pointing that out. Show goes into his slow offense and the fans chant BORING, so Reigns gets a chair and blasts Show about ten times to put him down. A DDT on the chair stuns Show and allows Reigns to get two tables. The delay lets Show get back up for the KO Punch though, sending Reigns down for eight.
Show is annoyed so Roman hits a Samoan drop through the table. Back up and Big Show hits a spear, followed by the most polite, least impactful Vader Bomb you’ll ever see. Reigns gets to his feet so Show goes up, only to get slammed down for almost no reaction. Two Superman Punches connect but Show catches the third and chokeslams Roman over the top and through the two tables Reigns set up earlier.
Naturally it only gets nine so Big Show leaves Reigns alone as he sets up the announcers’ table. In a funny bit, Show sees the announcers’ notes that say he needs to lose weight and yells at JBL. Back in and Reigns avoids a charge through a table in the corner, setting up a spear for eight.
Show rolls outside so Reigns spears him through the barricade for a spot we’ve seen before. It doesn’t help that Show was motionless at seven and on his feet at nine. Show loads up a chokeslam on the table but Reigns escapes and runs the tables to spear Show through the Spanish table for eight. Reigns finally buries Show under the table for the win at 19:43.
Rating: C+. The worst part? The match wasn’t really even that bad. Just too long though and the ending didn’t do what they were hoping. Why did they need to have the table cover him when they could have done the spear for the win? In other words, it was a table that kept Show down instead of Reigns. Great way to make your next big star look awesome there guys. This could have been WAY worse, but the lack of crowd interest had them dead on arrival.
Randy Orton tells Kane that the Authority will turn on him.
We look at some Tough Enough applications.
Here’s Bo Dallas, who wants to know why Chicago is the Second City when they’re clearly #1! That would be #1 at rejecting someone trying to make their lives better. The people here shouldn’t worry about how extreme the rules get because they should be worrying about bo-lieving. Cue Ryback and the obvious happens.
Rusev is annoyed about the loss when Lana comes in and says it’s done. There will be one more match between Cena and Rusev at Payback and it’s I Quit.
WWE World Title: Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins
In a cage with Rollins defending, the RKO banned and Kane guarding the cage door. Pinfall, submission or escape to win. Rollins goes for the cage twice early and Randy pulls him down on the second attempt. A third attempt goes just as badly so Rollins climbs one more time and sends Orton into the cage to take over for a change. Seth gets reversed into the cage again and the chase is on up the cage wall with Orton making a save.
Rollins almost escapes again and this time the Stooges come out to help, only to have Orton superplex him off the top for a big crash and two. Kane yells at the Stooges as Orton can’t follow up. To change up the pace of the escape counters, Orton crotches him on the top rope instead. The Elevated DDT plants Rollins and Lawler is already proclaiming Orton the next champion.
Orton loads up the RKO but opts for a decent looking Pedigree for two instead. The fans chant YES as Orton loads up the Punt but Rollins ducks to the side and hits a quick enziguri. Kane is told to open the door and obeys the champ but Randy is right there with the backbreaker to stop Rollins again.
The door stays open so Orton stops to think about it, but the threat of Kane sends him back. That threat proves to be well founded a Kane slams the door when Orton tries to leave. Randy does the smart thing by kicking the door at Kane before it turns into a fight to escape. Kane slams the door on both men and takes off his jacket, so the Stooges send Kane into the cage. The monster chokeslams both guys and loads up a tombstone on Orton, only to have Randy escape and RKO Kane. Seth uses the distraction to RKO Orton, allowing him to escape and retain at 20:50.
Rating: C. This wasn’t terrible but it took longer than it should have and ended with a pretty lame surprise. They were treating the RKO from Rollins like Austin siding with Vince when it was really just a technicality. The match was good enough but the gimmick continues to drag things down. Some of the early escape attempts were good though.
Overall Rating: C+. I liked this more than I thought I would but it still wasn’t a blow away show. Unfortunately we seem to be heading for round 3 of multiple feuds at Payback, despite there being very little left for these people to fight over. Definitely a watchable show, but can we please get some fresh ideas on top? Like, even adding someone else to Orton vs. Rollins and no Kane doesn’t count. Better than I was expecting but still not great.
Results
Dolph Ziggler b. Sheamus – Rolling cradle
New Day b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Dean Ambrose b. Luke Harper – Dirty Deeds
John Cena b. Rusev – Cena touched the fourth buckle
Nikki Bella b. Naomi – Rack Attack
Roman Reigns b. Big Show – Show couldn’t answer the ten count
Seth Rollins b. Randy Orton – Rollins escaped the cage
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
This isn’t going to be the longest one in the world as NorCal and I already did the full podcast preview for this show. In case you didn’t listen to that show for some reason (and you should. Check it and the other episodes here http://mightynorcal.podbean.com/), here’s a shorter than normal version.
On the pre-show, I’ll take Cesaro and Kidd to retain the Tag Team Titles. Cesaro and Kidd have been on fire with the belts and there’s no real need to give the belts to New Day, who can stay over as heels for six months on that clap alone. I like New Day, but they don’t need the belts yet.
Rollins over Orton in the Kane Show with Orton and Rollins as the backup players. I’m almost sure Orton will hit an RKO or two but Kane will somehow screw him over, because NO ONE would see a swerve like that coming because the Authority is just so much smarter than we all are. My interest in this match fell through the floor when Kane became involved and that’s not how you want your first title defense to go.
Cena retains of course in probably the most brutal match on the show. Those two are going to beat the fire out of each other and probably go on to have yet another match, which will only make Rusev look all the lamer. It’s a shame too as the guy has shown he can hang in there with the top guys, but since we NEED a tetralogy instead of just the regular trilogy. Also, can we please find a different way to end the match instead of Cena following him around?
I don’t think Bryan is going to be able to go, meaning it should be Neville getting the shot. Who will it be though? Probably Truth or Ryder or one of the other designated losers. Barrett walks out with the belt either way, but my goodness do they really have to wait until the day of the show to announce that Bryan is hurt? Barring a shocker, they’ve known for a week and should just announce it instead of jerking the fans around with their “well he MIGHT be there!”
Sheamus beats Ziggler in the stupidest gimmick of the night that I’d assume only Vince and Dunn find funny.
Nikki retains the Divas Title. All hail the Bellas and forever praise be their names, even if it defeats the purpose of turning Naomi heel, which defeats the purpose of common sense as she wrestles the natural face style but they decided to turn all the Divas heel for some reason.
Reigns over Big Show to FINALLY END THIS STUPID STUPID FEUD THAT WAS DEAD FIVE MONTHS AGO BUT LET’S JUST KEEP THEM FIGHTING BECAUSE BIG SHOW IS BIG AND THAT MEANS FANS WANT TO SEE REIGNS BEAT HIM UP EVEN THOUGH SHOW BEAT HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME IN WWE BECAUSE HE’S BIG AND THEREFORE INTERESTING!
And Ambrose over Harper in what should be a hot opener.
Overall this show doesn’t have me all that fired up, but it’s usually a sleeper hit. If they let the violence get cranked up, they can overcome the lame build but it’s going to take some work. As usual, this is the Wrestlemania rematch show and you almost have to have the gimmicks to keep it from being Wrestlemania Part II.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: April 20, 2015
With just six days to go until Extreme Rules, WWE has a long way to go to get me interested in the show. It isn’t likely helping that they’re just back from the big European tour and are likely to be jetlagged half to death. The big story is likely to be more build between Rollins and Orton, who are loading up for a pretty lackluster title match. Oh and Kane because of reasons I don’t understand.
Orton opened the show in a cage, promising to hurt Seth this Sunday and take the title. Rollins and the Stooges came out and told him to get this out of his system now because it won’t work on Sunday. This sounds appealing to Randy, who promises RKO’s all night.
I really, really didn’t care for this segment as it’s more of the old standard walking you through everything they’re doing that night instead of doing anything that feels organic or natural. Why do they have to tell us everything they’re going to do instead of SHOWING US everything they want to do? Just have Orton start RKOing everyone backstage and let the fans go “oh that was cool” instead of sitting around waiting for it. Not a fan here but this story isn’t exactly one that inspires intellectual stimulation.
Ambrose and Harper had a quick non-match to set up their street fight on Sunday. These two could have an entertaining brawl if they’re allowed to just go nuts.
The Prime Time Players continued their recent awesome run by scaring the daylights out of Rollins and the Stooges, who are terrified of Orton attacking them. HHH popped up and laughed off their worries, as well as mentioned Kane because that’s the big story around here.
New Day, now fully heel, cheated to earn a title shot on Sunday over the Lucha Dragons via countout. Notice that they didn’t just have the Dragons get pinned here to kill their momentum. Instead, the faces (or faceless ones actually) lose because the heels cheated, keeping them strong and making the heels look like cheaters. That’s common sense booking and hopefully something that we see more often.
Orton came out and RKO’ed Kingston (with a botch as Kofi wasn’t ready to be thrown into the air, which looked really bad. He’s done) and Woods. This would be more of the theme that they made VERY CLEAR earlier in the night in case you were too stupid to figure out that Orton is RKOing everyone he can on a path to Rollins. That’s a bit too complicated for wrestling fans I suppose.
Fandango beat Curtis Axel in the weekly filler.
HHH announced the return of Tough Enough and most people didn’t seem to care. Could it be because outside of John Morrison, the most successful winner had a career highlight of eliminating Undertaker from the Royal Rumble and having the most amazing eyebrows in the history of wrestling?
Anyway the REAL story here was Kane coming out and tried to quit his job as Director of Operations because he’s tired of Rollins disrespecting him. Rollins came out and argued a lot as this story just won’t die already. HHH made them shake hands after Kane said the Rollins was just in the right place at the right time and anyone could have been made champion in his place. They kept arguing after a break and Rollins vs. Ziggler was made for later tonight.
Then the Bellas decided they were good now and Nikki shouted COME ON BRIE about 100 times to show off her new found goodness as Brie lost to Naomi. This would be the polar opposite of the “here’s what we’re going to do” booking as instead of showing you every step, they’re just at the end already without any real reason.
Think about it. The Bellas went from being full on villains to halfway down the spectrum in a week and for what? Mainly because WWE screwed up and turned almost the entire Divas division heel. I know I get on the Bellas quite a bit (which I still say they deserve a huge amount of) but the direction of their characters and sudden drastic changes to their characters have been some of the most jarring and worst ideas I have ever seen in wrestling. That being said, they don’t do themselves any favors with their average at best matches and BRIE MODE/COME ON BRIE!
Randy Orton RKOed Heath Slater into his salad. See, THIS is the kind of surprise moment they should have been going with all night instead of telling us the idea.
Roman Reigns wanted Big Show but got Bo Dallas. Superman Punches, spears and Reigns saying Bo-lieve that abounded in a fun little segment.
Sheamus massacred Zack Ryder until Dolph Ziggler came in for the save. This was fine to get the point across.
Cena issued the open challenge and had a horrible match with Kane to retain the title. Here’s a sign of Cena’s greatness: he has bad matches with Kane and Big Show, but name someone else he doesn’t bring up to a higher level. If there are only two people in his career where it doesn’t work, he’s roughly 100 steps above most other talent. Rusev would attack Cena later in the night to set up the title match Sunday.
Bray Wyatt talked about how his new target can’t lift his way out of this one. That makes me think Ryback, which could be a nice surprise or a disaster, though they’ve been treating Ryback like a monster again, which is certainly a good thing.
Miz beat Mizdow in less than three minutes when Summer Rae turned on Mizdow in one of the most obvious heel turns this side of Big Show turn #1894. So to recap, Mizdow takes forever to turn on Miz, loses the battle royal to Big Show after getting really close, then loses two out of the three matches to Miz. Why do I even bother getting behind someone when their big goal is to build someone up to sacrifice them on the altar of WWE Studios? Miz got an RKO to emphasize that the entire Miz vs. Mizdow story meant nothing.
Ryback mauled Adam Rose and then beat up a hot dog and banana.
Kane and Rollins bickered some more with Rollins offering an apology.
Rollins vs. Ziggler was every Rollins vs. Ziggler match you’ve ever seen. The cage lowered post match so Rollins could hide from Kane. If you don’t know what was waiting for him when he turned around to end the show, you haven’t been paying close enough attention.
Raw really wasn’t very good this week and so much of it revolves around how lame the main stories have been. Kane was the focal point of the show this week with this never ending argument with Rollins, which seems destined to result in Kane screwing Orton over on Sunday and the Authority revealing it was all a huge swerve that we never saw coming. The wrestling was nothing to see this week either and it made for a really weak three hours. Extreme Rules and these rematches need to be gone soon, as does Kane’s never ending main event run. He just isn’t interesting and it’s killing the rest of the card.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at: